#sakura sucks at strategy

[game-on-comics]

For the beginners and champions of each sport (most specifically, Cole and Lucía, but it's open to all of them):

How well do you get along? Champions, have you given any advice to the beginners?

Cole: Me and Lucia? Oh yeah, we get along very well actually! Even though I’m not that good, she helps me practice a lot!

Lucia: Indeed! Practice is key, and I try to make him return harder shots by trying out different hitting techniques! Improvement is slow but… I’m sure he’ll get better while I do the Return Challenge with him!

(also gonna do for the others because it's a real interesting question XD also cool extra lore, coughs... all are under the cut since the post is kinda long ig)

Ryan: You’d be surprised that both me and Matt are on really good terms. Friends even, despite me sucking at both of his best sports.

Matt: I taught Ryan the rules for both Boxing and Swordplay, and let him practice with me in friendly matches. I trust him to be a really good referee, and in the meantime I get to teach him some of the best strategies for him to try. And most importantly: determination!

---

Miguel: Tommy? We don’t speak much, but I’m a big fan! I’m afraid I won’t be at his level in this sport, but perhaps while watching him and his team play our team might learn a trick or two…

Tommy: I guess I haven’t really approached Miguel much because I’m so focused on talking to Eva and Tyrone… However, if he needs advice, I’d say to not just work on the shooting, but the dribbling as well. Learn how to get close enough to the basket before the opponent snatches the ball, and you might get some easy hoops!

---

Naomi: Oh yeah, even though I’m not good in Cycling, I’m still good friends with Anna! We usually talk it out at lunch or something, she may be intimidating at first but she’s actually really nice!

Anna: Definitely! And my advice would simply be to go with the flow! I tend to like going on a nice bike ride with friends, so Naomi gets to join along when she can!

---

Hiroshi: In all honesty… none of us really want to interact much with Elisa and Sarah. I-I mean… look at them!

Shouta: We’re all a bit terrified of them, that’s for sure!

Sarah: I’ve told the players time and time again! Keep playing tennis and keep trying, that way you’ll get more confident! Ah… Elisa, any other advice you’d like to make?

Elisa: …………… keep practicing.

---

Elisa: Sakura? ………… she’s fine I guess…

Sakura: Oooh yes yes, I talked to Elisa a lot! I try to teach her different throws, batting skills, and running… Oh! But the best advice for her studious mind is to diversify her shots! But of course, all due in time, she needs to get the key components first! :3

#ask the miis #ask #mii #miis #game on #wii sports #wii sports resort #wii sports champions #thanks for the ask! #also yeah imagine my surprise finding out again that Elisa and Matt are technically beginners in other sports than their faves lmao #but almost everyone are friends! #ALMOST being the key word #and sorry it took a while as well #but i HAD to ilustrate those guys together

[justice4sasuke]

Kakashi said he didn't like Team 7 when he met them so we got to cram this in somehow.

Kishimoto was really weird with his character arcs for main characters in Naruto. Naruto straight up didn't have one and resisted any attempt at one. Sasuke's was shit and didn't make sense. Sakura can't even be called a main character since Kishimoto just ignores her and all his attempts to say she had a character and an arc land flat because of this. And Kakashi's is another one that seems shoehorned in. Obviously there are plenty of aspects of Kakashi's character that could have been worked on. The man's got trauma for days, he doesn't deal with it, he doesn't deal with anything, he shouldn't have been given children to look over but he was. He basically wasn't there at all for Naruto or Sakura. He was there for Sasuke for a bit but then let him down.

There's so much there you could work with but Kishimoto ignores it until the end of the series and then he has Kakashi's deal be what a loser and how much of a failure he is. And I don't feel like that's what Kakashi's issue is?? It feels like it's blaming Kakashi for his reaction to his trauma. Just because Kakashi fucks up constantly because of his trauma I don't think he should be punished for it or belittled. Yeah, he fucked up with Sasuke but I don't want to lesson to be "well I suck" I want Kakashi to realize what he actually did wrong and try to do better. Speaking of, Kishimoto's way of dealing with Kakashi fucking over Sasuke is wrong on the face of it. Kakashi only thinks about how he was going to kill Sasuke for ~the good of everyone~ and not like...him repeatedly telling Sasuke to get over what happened to him. Like, great you don't want to kill the kid you screwed over but Naruto's "just keep bothering him until he changes his mind because I'm Naruto and the universe bends to my will" strategy shouldn't be the solution. The solution is validation and emotional support as I've been saying from the beginning.

#no idea what a kakashi tag would be but i need one

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 99: Character Arcn’t

Revelation Chapter 10: Voice of a God

Corrin’s team heads to Izumo and meets Izana, who is his normal weirdo self. Which means he’s actually Zola, judging by the past two routes. They ask about the Seal of Flames, which he doesn’t know anything about, which means he’s actually Zola. Shocking. Zola uses ice magic to create a bunch of snow that Corrin can shovel for allowance money.

Yeah not gonna lie this chapter sucks. It’s filled with snow you have to break to reveal enemies. It’s slow, it’s tedious, and it’s only a challenge if you care about your time and try to rush through. After the battle, Corrin just stands there and lets Zola take Sakura hostage. Then Leo shows up out of nowhere and kills him, because fuck Zola having an arc during any Route but Birthright.

Corrin tells Leo that Garon is being manipulated, but Corrin can’t say anything about the manipulator because this game’s plot is dumb and contrived. Leo gets mad and leaves. The gang unties Zola’s hostages, including Takumi and the real Izana. Takumi doesn’t want to join, so Izana tells him that him joining is prophesied. Takumi says he doesn’t trust Corrin, so Izana does some special prophesying about how there’s a real enemy below the water’s surface. Izana calls upon the gods to learn about the Seal of Flames and tells Corrin to go meet a dragon.

Then he fucking dies. Screw this being the everyone lives route, I guess. I genuinely don’t understand what Izana dying adds to the story, besides the most bland generic attempts at drama. Izana’s death convinces Takumi to trust Corrin, somehow, causing him to join the team. Add him to the list of characters without arcs. Also we got Oboro and Hinata, who get five and three lines respectively in this entire Route. Plus one each in the finale if they reuse the everyone says a line bit.

So, uh, you know how Izana died? Well, the thing is, when you complete a playthrough of Fates, the game lets you save five units as Einherjar that can be bought in later playthroughs. So anyway I bought an Izana. It’s weird that a clone of Izana from an alternate timeline is walking around, but hey who cares about gameplay and story integration?

Support: Felicia/Laslow

C: Felicia asks Laslow to help her talk to strangers.

B: Laslow tells Felicia to flirt with random men. Felicia runs away.

A: Laslow and Felicia have tea together. Felicia spills the tea.

S: Felicia nervously asks Laslow out.

Review: Not bad. Laslow's suave bullshit and Felicia's nerves make them a fun pair.

Support: Mozu/Nyx

C: Mozu sees Nyx reading heavy books and is impressed. She asks Nyx to let her read her books.

B: Mozu tries to read a history book and falls asleep. Nyx gives her a cookbook.

A: Mozu loves the cookbook and is inspired to try tougher material.

Review: Kinda shallow.

Support: Azura/Xander

C: Xander invites Azura to a war strategy meeting, because her familiarity with both kingdoms makes her a good mediator. Azura is worried about going, because she fears the Nohrian nobles will act mean to her.

B: The meeting goes well and Azura says profound things that will change the course of the war. The game does not say what these things are. Azura also pigs out at the meeting, which is a character trait that definitely showed up before. Xander invites Azura to another meeting, this one discussing Garon.

A: Azura realizes Xander's inviting her to these meetings to keep her from dwelling on her sad past. Xander says he's doing it because he trusts her wisdom and wants what's best for both kingdoms. Azura doesn't believe him and sings a song of gratitude to thank him for looking out for her.

S: Xander asks Azura to return to Nohr with him, as his wife. Azura asks about King Garon and Xander ignores this concern. The duo decide to make new memories, happy ones.

Review: This game uses the same Supports for all three routes (with one exception), and sometimes it's weird. Like, this one can't decide if it takes place in the Revelation timeline or the Conquest one. Setting that aside, this one is mediocre. Azura acting as a mediator is a good idea, but it happens off screen. Xander looking out for Azura is good, but I would have liked some acknowledgment of Arete and their past together. 

Support: Kaze/Peri

C: Peri makes candy and shares it with Kaze. It is surprisingly good.

B: Peri makes pastries.

A: Kaze asks if Peri preferes killing or baking. She prefers killing. Kaze says cooking is more difficult and more rewarding than killing. Peri says both are easy, but decides to cook more.

S: Peri bakes a cake because she loves Kaze. The feeling is mutual.

Review: Not a good Support, but at least Peri didn't kill anyone.

#izana fire emblem #zola fire emblem #fire emblem fates

[tainbocuailnge]

fgo criticisms have been flaring up in the wake of dw’s sakura wars mobile game quitting after only half a year but I have a disease that makes me get defensive when people try to rip fgo apart as this uniquely terrible game with uniquely terrible devs so i’m going to complain about people who are complaining for a bit.

i hadn’t heard of the sakura wars game before it shut down but from what i’ve been able to find it suffered from a lot of the same problems as (launch) fgo, terrible gacha rates with no pity, slow ap recovery rates, barebones repetitive gameplay. so i guess seeing how fast sakura wars was shut down people feel like it’s only the fate name holding up fgo and in the early launch days of barely playable fgo that was definitely the case but I don’t think it’s fair to fgo to act like people only continue to play it because it’s fate, and “being like fgo” wasn’t the only problem with sakura wars either. sakura wars is a vn/dating sim series that attempted to revive the series with a mobile game that featured none of the original cast that fans cared about while fate was already a series with new characters and a new setting every instalment and the thing that stood out in this new game was actually that it DID have characters from previous fates available. hell, it’s not fair to sakura wars to claim that its series name is simply weaker than fate’s when there were other factors involved in its failure beyond “being a delightworks game”

fgo DOES improve, launch fgo is unrecognisable compared to current fgo in a good way. events have become more streamlined (events have mid- to lategame enemy hp scaling but feature damage ce’s to let newer players keep up, mission events are set up so that they basically clear themselves just by farming the most recently unlocked node), they experiment with new game modes and gameplay mechanics on the regular, they’re taking more care to make viable permanent servants and buff the older ones, and the past few months there’s also been a noticeable effort to throw out random banners for minor things as an excuse to rerun old limited servants more often. I’ll admit the bar is on the low side (strengthening quests are a ridiculous model, there shouldn’t be this many limiteds to need reruns in the first place, etc) and progress is slower than many people are willing to put up with, and I’m not saying anyone Has to put up with it or they’re a fake fan or whatever, but like, granblue fantasy is seven years old and still doesn’t have the ability to uncap a weapon multiple stages at a time when its entire gameplay loop centers around farming and uncapping weapons and they’ve buffed heles like 7 times but she’s still shit, none of fgo’s problems are exclusive to fgo.

i LIKE playing fgo. i like tapping the cards and watching my little guys go and coming up with different teams to make them go harder or just look good together or even lean into the Themes. and this is going a little bit on a tangent but i have this post window open anyway i was talking with friends earlier that one problem that a lot of mobile games seem to have is that they use “making the game play itself” as substitute for “making the game fun to play”. the only game with autobattle functionality (out of the ones I play, i don’t know everything that’s out there of course) that I feel DOESN’T do this is arknights, where you solve the puzzle that the stage presents in order to earn the right to not have to solve the puzzle every single time you play the stage and coming up with different efficient or perhaps ridiculous ways to solve the puzzle is part of playing the game. the worst case I know is dragalia lost which upon realizing that playing it sucks implemented an item to just let you skip playing stages altogether. “this game is good because you don’t have to play it” is not the selling point some people (and devs) think it is, and fgo refuses to fall into that trap - something I believe is an intentional decision because of their explicit refusal to implement NP skip.

one big advantage that fgo has over the other mobile games i’ve played is that it’s entirely turn based with no real time elements beyond start and end times of events. fgo doesn’t NEED to continue playing itself when you look away because looking away has no bearing whatsoever on your ability to clear the quest, fgo doesn’t give a shit if you look away for six hours and then close the game and only reopen it another ten hours later, you can continue right where you left off. the problem is not that you have to manually play the quest, because as far as the system is concerned you can take as much time as you like to clear that quest, it’s that the greater structure of the game wants you to repeatedly manually clear the same low-stakes quest for disproportionately small rewards. this one’s easy enough to solve by just increasing material droprates across the board. repeat clearing a low level quest is much less frustrating if you actually get drops every other clear.

but that’s a bandaid solution, because related to the issue of having to manually farm low-stakes quests is the lack of high-stakes quests to do when you want to do something a little more engaging than routine farming. outside of event challenge quests with their time limited availability, certain main story chapters that you can’t replay, and recently on JP the permanently available kiara challenge quest in the main interlude, there simply isn’t any difficult content to play. you could argue about fgo’s merit as strategy rpg in the first place i suppose but if you ask me it does have that merit and there is a clear effort from dw’s part to improve the depth of fgo’s strategy elements, the issue is that there is simply not that much content available to unleash those strategies on. of course you’re gonna get bored if all there is to do is either brainlessly repeat the same quest for minimal rewards or play the specific challenge quest that the game hands you right this moment regardless of whether that’s the kind of challenge you feel like facing right now. the solution to this one, although it’s likely going to take some significant effort on dw’s side to implement, is to make main story quests replayable.

you want to flex your brain muscles but there’s no challenge event right now? you stomped on a boss by using overpowered servants the first time but want to challenge yourself with some 3* this time? or the other way around, you beat a boss by the skin of your teeth the first time but want to stomp all over them now that you rolled some bitching 5*? you rolled a servant that’s not that suitable for day to day farming but would really shine in more difficult content and you want to try them out? you have a silly strategy in mind that would only work against certain story enemies? you’re like me and just really crave the shimosa duels? all of this involves content that already exists and is available in the game, dw would just have to figure out a way to let you access it again after clearing the chapter. and of course ideally this extends to event story quests once they’re added to the main interlude

i guess another way to put it is that i think the reason a lot of people say fgo has bad gameplay is not that its gameplay system is actually bad, in fact it has the potential to be very engaging, but rather that it’s a system that is set up to respect your time through the ability to put down the game absolutely whenever you want without being penalised, only for the game around it to go and penalise you for putting it down anyway. if you don’t diligently spend all your ap farming this quest you won’t get single damn material drop, and if you don’t play the event while it‘s happening you’re going to miss out because you can’t be sure when if ever it’ll return. so the number one way to solve the problem of fgo’s “bad gameplay” is not to make the game play itself whenever it tells you to play, but rather to make content more easily available so you don’t have to play if you don’t want to and CAN play if you do want to. thank you for coming to my ted talk i suppose

#anyway i love cuchulainn

[never-mess-with-the-uchihas]

Hey!

I just recently discovered your blog and as a fan of sasusaku myself, i loved your takes and answers and i looked at her in a different perspective than before!

I just wanna ask you, in the war arc episode 425, where sakura charged direct attack against six sage madara and got hit by a rod and was rescued by naruto, i thought sasuke would give a side eye towards her to make sure she's okay,but he didnt care and not even concerned about her which kinda bothered me..she even said that sasuke-kun isnt concerned about me. I know he's not an expressive person who not good at showing emotions publicly but he delivers through his eyes and actions ( which i love about him) but this...kinda bothered me.. what do you think about this?

Thank You XD

Episode 425. I guess that's Manga chapter 676.

I am gonna refer to the manga panels to explain, because the anime sucks at showing Sasuke's emotions -.-'

I guess this was the exact sequence of events -

Honestly, I feel that, in this scene, Sasuke DID MUCH MORE THAN JUST GIVING SAKURA A GLANCE, to prove that he STILL CARES for her.

I mean, just look at his expressions -

Doesn't he look worried to you?

Both him and Naruto wear very identical expressions.

And he was the one who rushed first to protect Sakura.

Also, Sasuke and Naruto, both were there to protect Sakura only, It was an attack-defend strategy, Sasuke attacked Madara, while Naruto took Sakura back to safety.

I find it really funny how the fandom claims that only one of them was worried about Sakura here, and the other one didn't give a shit, when they both did the same thing.

Sometimes, I really feel sad for Sasuke. All his good deeds,are thrown down in drain by this fandom, because either they can't comprehend it or choose to completely ignore it 😂.

Also, there was no point in double checking on Sakura, Sasuke already knew that She was fine, because just like Madara, he also figured out that she regenerated her wounds, because She wasn't bleeding, and also, she was able to move just fine, enough to land a punch on Madara.

He had also seen Naruto's regenerative skills with Kakashi's eye, just few chapters ago. So He knew Sakura definitely didn't need his help for this.

And if you have noticed, even Naruto was not that much panicked, here in this panel. If he thought Sakura was really injured, He would have reacted more than just this -

Sasuke knew Sakura was completely fine with Naruto. So the only practical thing for him to do, was to focus on the Enemy, in case Madara attacked them again.

Sakura saying "Sasuke doesn't seem to care" is understandable, because, She didn't see his worried expressions when he rushed to protect her.

And this was also done because Kishimoto wanted us to be ambiguous of Sasuke's true motives and true feelings for Team 7, because he was going to turn him into the final Villain of the series, with the entire "Revolution" bullshit.

Also, I believe that Sasuke during the war arc, was in a major denial about his true feelings about Team 7 - that he still cared about them. Because his words and his actions were completely contradictory to eachother. And maybe, His mind was not even able to justify his own actions.

#sasusaku #pro sasusaku #sakura haruno #pro sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke uchiha #naruto uzumaki #sakura uchiha #pro sakura uchiha #haruno sakura #pro haruno sakura #team 7 #uchiha sasuke #pro uchiha sasuke

[chattegeorgiana]

You keep insisting that the ending Naruto pairings are the reason Boruto's sales are nowhere near as great as Naruto's, yet how come Boruto Naruto the Movie has brought in far more income than both RTN and The last combined? The Boruto Movie has gained almost 40.000.000$ while The Last only 20.000.000$ and RTN only around 17.000.000$. The reasons boruto is not as popular as naruto was is because the plot sucks, the anime has too many garbage fillers, the artstyle in the manga sucks, the new gen characters suck, and the manga wasn't even written by Kishimoto until recently. It has nothing to do with pairings. Hell, if NS became canon, people would've hated it even more, considering how hated Sakura was, and you even admitted she is the most hated character. And you also contradict yourself. First you say she's the most hated, then you say SP missed a marketing opportunity with her... like girl make up your mind? She's the most hated character in the franchize, in a poll she was chosen as the most hated by both male and female, even Kishimoto went out of his way to say girls came at him and said how much they despised Sakura, most people don't give a shit about her, using her as marketing strategy would've done more harm than good. She's even more hated in Japan and other Asian fandoms than she is in the western fandom, and that already says a lot! You're really arrogant to assume that the "silent majority" you speak of are all NaruSaku fans. I guarantee you it isn't. In fact, most people don't even care about ships that much. NaruSakus, you along with the SNS fans, SS fans, NH fans are part of the vocal minority that has nothing better to do than bitch about ships all day long.

But did I ever say that they were THE ONLY reason they are bad? They are an integral part of it yes, but not the only one.

Just because you saw some asks of mine here on Tumblr, you just throw these things around, like this is the only place I talk about the story of Naruto and this is the only aspect I do.

Yes, here on Tumblr I might do it through the virtue of the asks I receive, but that doesn't mean it's the only space I address these matters.

I have other social media channels as well where I discuss other aspects as well. Ya know, how like Boruto is nothing more than a tweaked "cooler" wanna-be version of Naruto, with no real substance whatsoever, a story that doesn't truly leaves a message behind, a morale, with characters that are the shells of their former selves or mechanics that are skewed and "free of" any logic.

But sure, make it as if that's the only aspect I talk about if that makes you sleep well at night.

As for the reason Boruto made so much? Well, I'll tell you why: because it had NaruSasu. Because they knew they messed-up with The Last, so they did the next best thing they could to try and keep the fanbase engaged.

Focused on the biggest portion of the fanbase that gathered around both shippers and non shippers by the virtue of focusing on Sasuke and Naruto and their offsprings. You know why? Because this way they catered to two human emotions: familiarity/comfort & curiosity.

Aka familiarity via having NaruSasu and curiosity to see the new gen kids.

Which yes, had momentum and seemed to have a perfect recipe: no focus on the ships that initially brought he whole mess (Sakura and Hinata were close to non-existent in that movie), and "repaying" the fanbase that was initially pissed at the fact that people thought this was gonna be a T7 movie because of the heavy Kakashi and Ssuke advertisement when they were there to be found for onlyyy few seconds, lol.

But you see, in the test of time, Boruto failed because of the aforementioned reasons.

You say that people would've hated the ending if NS would've been canon, yet curiously enough the number of people that are even non shippers and agree to the idea that NS should've been canon has been increasing over the years. Which in a really curious way was surprising to me too as an NS fan that returned to the fandom after so long.

So you see, I am not sure exactly about that aspect there. Not to mention, since when does a story has to do what the fanbase dictates it? The story should follow its course and intended narration and that's that.

Yes, Sakura was hated, but that's not a reason to not have Naruto end-up with her because within the story mechanics we had many proofs that indicated that they should've ended together, regardless of how people felt about them.

Kishimoto didn't say girls came at him, he said girls sent him letters, which are two different things, because to his face no one truly said that, minus the editors who kept pushing Hinata forward and their bias as well.

Lol at you saying that using her as a marketing strategy would've done more harm than good when she's the only female character being marketed right now via figurines and all those other things.

So reality seems to be contradicting you a bit on that side.

Not to mention, you say that she's the most hated even in Asia and Japan? LOL, where did u even take out these lies?

The hate phenomena has always been a western fandom thing, not an Asian/Eastern fandom one.

You say that the pairings ripped with Sasuke and Naruto as well (funny how NaruSaku isn't dead even after years of being supposedly dead tho), for a character that should've been hated??

This whole hate thing was always a western fandom mirage, sadly, but in Japan and Asia she's always been loved. Like where did u even pull out that information from?

Also what I always said about a NaruSaku ending was that they could've taken a RTN route where they could've had ALL the pairings shown within a parallel universe, but sure, nice way to twist my words and make it like "I can't decide".

There are slight nuance differences which you either purposely not address or you don't know how to do the difference. The truth in this case only you know it.

But stop trying to act that high and mighty coming here on anon making it seem like ooh, I contradict myself and spread nonsense, just because you read a faction of all the ideas I discuss over my social media.

And now to address the silent majority argument. I never said silent majority are ONLY NaruSaku fans. That's what you assumed. Silent majority included NaruSaku fans yes, but also other fans who ya know, have some common sense within them and see how the story has been butchered for the sake of poorly treating a certain aspect of Naruto, which was the romantic one.

Which btw, you say that it wasn't a big deal, yet it was the no. plot included within the story, being presented as early as chapter 3, because chapter 1 and 2 revolved around Naruto wanting to become Hokage for people to acknowledge him and create bonds.

You say that the pairings aren't such a big deal in the fandom, yet guess what, SJ and SP directed a movie on that specific subject. Makes you wonder why now, doesn't it?

And it's a normal aspect to care about if you think about it for a manga that has been focused on BONDS. The romantic plot gets weaved in within the one about bonds really easily, because at the core of it it's about relationships.

And this whole world that we live it it's a relationship: between the body and the spirit, between then heaven and the earth, between friends, between relatives. EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD HAS A RELATIONSHIP BASIS: atom interacts with atom and here we are, living, breathing beings.

But sure, come to me and paint me in this way you're trying as if talking about relationships and their quality is a bad thing.

Mhmm.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

You're free to have your opinion, sure.

I just happen to not agree with it.

And that's that.

Have a good day or night or whatever.

#anti-boruto #narusaku #narusasu #relationships #shipping #naruto

[shammikorn]

what’s your interpretation of rin’s personality? i love your comics about her and it sucks that in canon she’s just Nice Girl

that's a great question, anon! and the one i've been asking myself for several years now.

first thing first: root!rin theory is an invention of @ahkaraii, and it’s the most important thing in naruto fandom.

i may be overthinking but i always thought there was something off about rin - she is not just nice girl™, she is creepily nice girl, and she is way too convenient for one certain uchiha nice girl. as i see it, writing a stereotypical love interest is not a complicated issue for a shounen author - there are a bunch of cliches and tropes that you have to combine to get such character right. rin? she is...not quite this. rin rather looks like someone who tries to be that ideal love interest (or, honestly, to be just a normal shinobi/human) but tries too hard and it spoils the impression.

if we look at rin's databook profile, we can see the formula - «kind, intellectual, devoted», and it's almost absurd that something like this is used as personality description.

what do we know from her canon appearances?

1) well, she does come off as sweet and kind, and i want to believe she was.

2) rin is quiet and reserved most of the time, and when she does speak out it's only generalized and mostly positive stuff. in childhood filler (unfortunately, it’s the only one i remember well) she also pauses before speaking or reacting in general.

3) rin often sounds way too mature for her age (plus, she must be an experienced ninja or at least well educated - in gaiden she comments on enemy's strategy and then on kakashi's usage of chakra). sometimes (mostly with obito but he totally buys it) she says things that seem kinda fake- almost like if she was taught to tell it.

i could say it’s just kishimoto’s writing but there are heroines who got little to no character development and yet still felt like, you know, human beings. rin at times seems like a completely ephemeral creature. to me, at least.

4) rin is obsessed with obito (despite narrator and then obito suggesting she was in love with kakashi). she is overwhelmingly caring - she seems to know constantly where obito is, most time she is around him (even when obito is unaware of that - i’m not sure if it was in the manga but anime has several moments like this), she is in charge of things i wouldn't consider quite normal for a childhood friend to be (like? bringing obito's documents? finding him and leading to a meeting point?). honestly, i can’t read this as simply display of friendship and affection, and i don’t see the same pattern in other relationships in the franchise. there is also an extra emphasis on the fact that rin liked kakashi both in gaiden and in war arc (as well as implementations that kakashi might have liked her back), so it’s not like kishimoto forgot about who was rin’s crush.

if i recall correctly, there is no information on how rin and obito originally meet and what was the foundation of their friendship outside of obito's aspiration to become hokage. therefore the reasoning behind rin’s obsession is unknown.

5) rin emulates obito's reactions, it's shown several times and, i would say, highlighted:

6) rin's reaction to obito's «death» seems much more reserved than kakashi's, and she quickly cuts off any visible display of her distress once obito asks to transplant his eye.

7) rin is clearly not afraid of fighting. she normally doesn’t engage in combat (i assume, the end of third war must have been the time of endorsing tsunade’s iryo-nin reform, thereby rin must have belonged to the generation of medics that followed hime’s rules to the core + rin is stopped from getting into combat by kakashi), however, both time rin was cornered by an enemy, she showed full readiness to fight.

now this is not about her personality, but:

8) rin is placed on future hokage's team, alongside the genius son of one of the strongest ninjas and the uchiha (who could actually keep up with the said genius and, as we see later, surprisingly well adjusted to hashirama cells implanted into him).

9) speaking of her abilities, rin's got a solid 4 in intelligence (among shinobi her age i can recall only shikamaru and sakura scoring 4 or higher), 3.5 in ninjutsu (shino with the same score was about to be put in the root; similar score was obtained by sasuke and neji) and 4 in hand seals, whatever that could mean. overall she's got 21 (while most of konoha11 got less than 20). impressive for a ninja coming from «a very ordinary household» [fourth databook].

10) rin is good as iryo-nin, but like...not outstandingly good, like sakura or tsunade or shizune. she carries a large rucksack (and is the only one who does that out of her team, so it's not part of common equipment) - she probably has to use more civilian methods. however, rin is able to transplant an eye with sharingan and keep its functions without any tools besides maybe her kunai; considering ophthalmology is a way too narrow specialty for a field medic and uchihas tend to keep their secrets secure, this seems pretty damn cool (and gaiden was written before eye swapping became a common thing and iryo-ninjutsu could easily heal any injury). if i don’t say suspicious. plus - rin instantly agrees to perform surgery, no second thought, no hesitation, as if she was trained to do it.

it’s also interesting that kakashi gaiden is the only part where rin is shown not from her teammates' perspective- and in gaiden she is a quiet and determined soldier who can put her duty above her feelings. when we see rin later on, mainly from obito's memories and therefore from his perspective, she is depicted as that constantly smiling and good-hearted girl most folks remember her as. it goes to the point where in the second databook rin is described as serious and capable medic-nin, while in the fourth the main focus is moved to her relationships with kakashi and obito.

i don’t want to try and get any conclusions about her personality from the circumstances of her death- i don’t believe in her voluntary death for the village, not after madara told obito about the seal.

so, what do we get from this? as i said, i've tried to sum these traits up: for a long time i pictured rin as a civilian-background girl with fascination for the shinobi world despite not quite fitting in it (which results in her overly perfected but distant behaviour). but this can’t explain her skills or her obsession with obito, and this is where the root theory comes to rescue: she then becomes a root operative, chosen by danzo for her friendship with obito + civilian background, but with personality not completely ruined by lord shimura (she probably wasn’t seen as useful enough outside the whole obito thing). the original aim of her mission was probably to keep safe and then awaken obito’s sharingan (loving the irony), not to actually steal it. rin did like (in a platonic way) obito even before the recruitment, as well as she grows to like kakashi (in a romantic way) later on, but her real, untouched by shimura and his orders personality must have remained mostly a mystery to them both.

#rin nohara #cant wait to be known as psychopath minato AND root operative rin propagandist #naruto meta #root rin

[kibasturban]

when ino is genuinely acknowledged (as in not for her looks) its almost always for her personality which yeah its great shes definitely very caring and funny and shes a great friend but shes also a good ninja and she definitely was supposed to be even better. i think shes wasted potential in terms of screentime and prowess bc like she was a genius. graduated at the top of the academy. had a mind for strategy and a powerful kekkei genkai. but kishimoto did almost nothing with most of it (though she had her moments! in the war arc or the chuunin exams arc) and that SUCKS cuz imagine how better the manga would be if shed been more developped; if avenging asuma wasnt all about shikamaru and shed participated more in defeating hidan, if she wasnt dumbed down to make shikamaru seem smarter, if shed actually beaten sakura (especially since sakura never used her inner in a fight again and it eventually disappeared lmao) and inspired her to get stronger the same way neji did with lee or sasuke with naruto except better bc they’re actually good friends.

so yeah i do think ino is a powerful ninja in the end but imagine if kishimoto actually gave her some crumbs of screentime to showcase it

#naruto #ino yamanaka #im going down an ino rabbit hole again #thoughts

[leo-probably]

Here’s how to fix canon Naruto’s ending (Part 9; Finale?)

We’re getting into the next generation of Naruto, just as a warning, so none of this is really canon-compliant at this point lol because all of the pairings are different except for Shikamaru/Temari and Choji/Karui.  Naruto and Sasuke make surprisingly good parents ((unlike Boruto where they’re absentee fathers)). They both spar with their kids (they have two), but Sasuke is better at tough love and discipline, like making them do chores and making sure they do their academy homework, where as Naruto is better at talking to them about crushes and feelings. That’s not to say Sasuke isn’t there for them, he’s just a lot more quiet and less helpful. They start a garden because 1. Sasuke loves tomatoes and is determined for his kids to eat veggies 2. it’s a family activity they can all work on together and 3. it reminds Sasuke of Mikoto’s garden. One kid has the ability to produce the sharingan, the other may not. Ino and Sakura also make good parents but it’s less surprising lol. They only have one kid that they spoil to no end. The kid has a temper because of course with Ino and Sakura as parents they’re gonna wind up with an attitude lol but they do good in school (Sakura helps them study) and have the Yamanaka kekkei genkai.  Hinata and Kiba have a lot of dogs before deciding that maybe they could have a kid, too. Tenten, Shikamaru, and Choji’s kids are all relatively the same. Sai doesn’t have any children but takes on an apprentice who may or may not be training to take over the ANBU. They both like art and Sai trains them in his ninjutsu art style.  The kids at the academy are ALL taught about herbs and flowers but not in the old “kunochi have to know how to make arrangements pretty :^)” way,, in the “here are some plants you can use to make medicine and/or eat if you run out of food on a mission” way,, because the original “only girls have to take this class” ideal sucks ass. They’re also taught about mental and physical health and given the option to pursue one or two “civilian” electives so that these children aren’t just trained in nothing but fighting.  When it comes time for the chunnin exams, they’re still doing the “scrolls in the forest” test but it’s more of a “hunt, gather, defend” task than an offensive task this time around. There are enough scrolls for all of the teams to pass but if your scroll gets taken from you then there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to find another one before time’s up. Idk it just has to be something to prepare them for the “real world” but not the capture the flag game that Boruto’s gen played, either.  Eventually Naruto realizes that they should do a vote within the village (civilian and shinobi) to make sure that their Council is still welcome and that they don’t want anyone replaced. The shinobi response is overwhelmingly positive, the civilians wish for more representation so they have a few more people sit in on civilian-prevalent meetings. Years down the line, it’s time to choose successors for all of their Council seats. The Hokage remains a popular vote-type thing. ANBU gets taken over by Sai’s apprentice. Shikamaru’s position is replaced by whoever had the most notoriously got strategies (probably whoever got promoted to chunnin fastest,, maybe his kid gets it). Sasuke’s is hard to determine,, maybe on of their kids? Sakura’s is whoever has been training to take over the hospital. Ino’s is either Ino and Sakura’s kid or someone else who has been in the intelligence dept. for a while. The civilians continue to be reelected as years go on. The Elder Council (which was previously like Kakashi, Tsunade, and whoever) then becomes Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, and Sai,, so if there are any issues they can use their years of experience to speak on the matter.  It WORKS - better than Boruto with their pivot from “yes this government is corrupt!!” to “yes, we’re going to follow it anyway!” The pairings make sense, the Council makes sense,,, it really changes the world from the one Naruto and gang grew up in, but it’s still realistically putting out shinobi who can defend themselves and the world. It also addresses the impoverished, war torn villages because it was a recognized issue in the Pain Arc and then completely dropped. I know it’s not the best especially getting into the next generation but it’s something lol. So yeah! There’s how to fix canon Naruto’s ending. 

#fuck canon naruto's ending #here's how to fix canon naruto's ending #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #inosaku #sakuino

[toemuncher666]

Sanguine (Akuma Kan):

Personality - He’s extremely shy and timid yet heroic at heart. He finds it hard to talk to people and be the center of attention but if the situation calls for it…he’ll attempt to save people no matter what.

Looks - He shares his father’s height so he’s naturally tall. He also shares his father’s hair and muscular build but he is much slimmer than his father and doesn’t quite have his father’s bulk.

Quirk - Bloodletting

Properties - The quirk allows Akuma to manipulate his own blood. The blood can shoot from his skin like a bullet and can even explode when shot with enough velocity. He can also create blood tendrils that act like tentacles and can be used to fight but also rescue people. His blood allows for a quick healing cycle since it has to rip through his skin. His blood can also harden to create powerful shields and body armor. He can also create clones through his blood…and can travel via liquefying into blood and sprouting up where he intends.

Drawbacks - Too much exertion of blood means his body isn’t getting enough circulation…so he can easily succumb to limbs falling asleep, massive migraines, queasiness, potential black outs, and blood rushes temporarily giving him vision impairment…and blood cannot be withdrawn from his body for over 10 minutes without risking cardiac arrest. His quirk also requires for a lot of liquid ingestion to regenerate lost blood.

Venus: (Sakura Nishiya):

Personality - Sakura is incredibly sweet often to her own detriment. She often puts other people’s feelings before hers, forgetting about her own problems. Sakura is also scarily intelligent when it comes to strategy in fighting.

Looks - Sakura boasts long green hair with flower growths seemingly sprouting from her scalp. She’s also pretty tall and has a muscular build.

Quirk - Mother Nature

Properties - Mother Nature allows for Sakura to manipulate plants. She can cause the plants to grow to extreme sizes and bend to her will. Her quirk allows for her to forcefully evolve the plants allowing for them to release pheromones or grow tangible vines for her to control

Drawbacks - Her quirk is only powerful during the day while the plants get sunlight…at night, her powers are severely limited beyond being able to just move the plants. Her quirk also requires her to stay hydrated…because the quality of the plants is directly tied to her health. The quirk also only works within viable soil that can properly host a plant.

Hex: (Uno Tatsuma):

Personality - Uno is very boisterous and confident in his abilities to the point where he can become pretty cocky and lose sight of his goal. Despite his cockiness, he is a good person and is very loving towards his friends and family.

Looks - Uno is considered very handsome and boasts deep purple hair and doughy purple eyes. He’s considerably tall and muscular and has sharp features.

Quirk - Bad Luck

Properties - Bad Luck allows for Uno to create black energy orbs from his hand. These orbs can be shot out and cause a variety of effects. The orbs are slightly explosive when they make physical impact with something…but that’s not the star of the show with this quirk. The main feature of this quirk is that on impact, it can cause a foe to suffer serious bad luck. When the orbs hit…they can cause a foe to trip and fall, suffer rapid onset narcolepsy, set off a chain of events that somehow leads an anvil falling on the foes’ head etc. etc.

Drawbacks - The level of bad luck isn’t consistent and is sometimes unreliable so it requires multiple orbs to be thrown…but the orbs directly rely on UNO’s molecular makeup of his hands. So when orbs are thrown in excess…they begin to make his hands and arms very brittle

Skinwalker (Amaya Gima):

Personality - Amaya is very gentle and kind. She often puts on the front of someone who doesn’t care…but once you get to know her, she’s truly a sweet person.

Looks - Amaya has long black hair. She’s average height and has pretty dark brown eyes.

Quirk - Beast Body

Properties - This quirk allows Amaya to change the anatomy of her physical body. All she has to do is think of an animal…and her body begins to shift into the creature.

Drawbacks - The quirk hurts every time Amaya performs it. The quirk also takes awhile for her to shift to an animal and shift back.

Psi (Kaneki Usagiyama):

Personality - Kaneki is incredibly reserved and cold. He doesn’t talk very much but when he does…it’s often demeaning. Kaneki views himself as more important than his peers…he’s also very intelligent and skilled in battle.

Looks - Kaneki sports dark blue hair. He’s average height but with a fit build. His eyes are also blue but when using his quirk…his hair and eyes begin to glow neon pink.

Quirk - Psychokinesis

Properties - Psychokinesis allows Kaneki to extort his brain beyond its limits…allowing him to use a strong form of telekinesis that can crush anything in its path. Psychokinesis allows telepathy as well. But one of the biggest boasts for this powerful skill…is that it can create deadly psionic blasts that can disintegrate anything they touch.

Drawbacks - when Psychokinesis is exerted for long periods of time…it starts to over exert his brain and cause massive headaches that severely slow down his abilities

Wormhole (Aimi Fujioka):

Personality - Aimi is incredibly shy, often resulting in her being unable to talk to anyone but her close friends. Despite her shyness…she is incredibly determined…and nothing will get in the way of her becoming a pro hero.

Looks - Aimi has short pink hair. She is also considerably short and has big doughy pink eyes.

Quirk - Teleportation

Properties - When Aimi envisions a specific place and touches her fingers together…she can cause a dimensional rip that she can teleport through. When the rip is paired with another rip…she can simply walk through it like an open door…but when the rip is alone, it sucks things in like a black hole.

Drawbacks - The quirk cannot work if Aimi hasn’t seen the area she wants the rip to appear. The rip can also only stay open for a maximum of 10 seconds.

Vortex (Arakan Ahane):

Personality - Arakan is incredibly nice but very ditzy and naive. Arakan has no problem complimenting people but often finds himself forgetting everything…sometimes even forgetting how to spell his own name.

Looks - Arakan has fluffy green hair and big green eyes. He’s pretty fit and has an average height.

Quirk - Time Jump

Properties - Time Jump allows Arakan to jump a few seconds into the future. When Arakan snaps his fingers…his quirk shoots him through a few seconds in his future. This allows Arakan to be very agile, dodging attacks and “jumping” well into high places most people wouldn’t be able to reach. When Arakan first jumps and right after, it causes electricity to shoot through the air…so getting close to him before a jump could result in a small electrical shock.

Drawbacks - The quirk has a 5 second cool down and when not aimed precisely…Arakan could end up getting stuck in walls or floors leaving him open to attack.

Aquarias (Chinami Aikawa):

Personality - Chinami is incredibly intelligent and nice. She often scores 100% on all of her written tests and you can leave it to her to develop a battle plan. However, due to her parents’ strictness on grades…it left Chinami very uncertain and personally insecure with her own skills.

Looks - Chinami has very long pale blue hair. She also has a slim fit figure with an above average height.

Quirk - Flood

Properties - Flood allows Chinami to telekinetically control any surrounding moisture or liquid. This can allow Chinami to cause giant destructive tsunamis or her favorite move from a cartoon she watches…giant water hands to crush her opponents and water wings to fly. Chinami’s ability also allows for more subtle moves…such as creating bubbles.

Drawbacks - Chinami’s quirk solely relies on the accessibility of nearby liquids or the amount of moisture in the air…without a good amount of either, her quirk is rendered semi-useless.

Whirlwind (Daichi Bushida):

Personality - Daichi is incredibly cocky often to his own detriment. He lacks the ability to recognize his own weaknesses and is often regarded as kind of an asshole. But his lack of outward recognition of his weaknesses often results in him pushing himself past his limits to prove his worth.

Looks - Daichi sports groomed black hair. He has sharp dark eyes and is quite tall and muscular.

Quirk - Cyclone

Properties - Cyclone allows Daichi to create whirlwinds from his hands. These whirlwinds can be anywhere from small controlled gusts that he can shoot at you…all the way to a giant tornado capable of mass destruction.

Drawbacks - too much wind power from his quirk takes a toll on his hand…he often ends up spraining his hand from the sheer wind power he can create.

Atomic (Hoshi Bushida):

Personality - Hoshi is similar to her brother in that she’s competitive and pushes herself past her limits. But unlike her brother, she knows her flaws and she has a strong sense of humility. This allows her to be emotionally mature unlike her brother…and it keeps her down to earth and quite intelligent.

Looks - Hoshi has long black hair often seen tied in a ponytail. She’s viewed as being incredibly pretty and she’s tall with a fit build.

Quirk - Disassemble

Properties - When Hoshi touches something…she can disassemble it on an atomic level…even living things. This allows Hoshi to completely remove an entire wall…or if need be…an entire foe.

Drawbacks - the disassembled object or person will reassemble unharmed anywhere between 10-20 minutes later and the quirk also requires her to touch the object to disassemble it.

Puppet Master (Joben Takao):

Personality - Joben is incredibly self-centered to where he might actually literally be in love with himself. Joben is also a strict neat freak.

Looks - Joben is considered incredibly handsome and he has crimson red hair with sharp facial features. He’s considerably tall and muscular.

Quirk - Possessor

Properties - Possessor allows Joben to temporarily possess someone’s body after he’s touched or been touched by someone. While possessing someone, he can use their quirks and has complete control over their body

Drawbacks - the possession only lasts a maximum of 5 minutes. The quirk also leave’s Joben’s real body out of commission and open for attacks

Static Shock (Kana Ryujin):

Personality - Kana is a total bimbo who completely forgets everything. Despite her absent mindedness…she’s very kind and outgoing.

Looks - Kana is pretty short with long pink hair tied in a ponytail. She has round dark eyes full of spirit and vigor.

Quirk - Lightning Rod

Properties - Lightning Rod allows Kana to shoot high voltage electricity out of her arms. Her quirk allows her to either shoot little shocks or full on thunder storms out of her arms.

Drawbacks - Kana’s not safe from the electricity itself…every time she activates her quirk, she shocks herself too.

Lion (Kazuhiko Yamaguchi):

Personality - Kazuhiko is incredibly intelligent and reserved. He often finds himself acing his tests…and he loves to fulfill his duty of class President.

Looks - Kazuhiko is incredibly tall and muscular. He blonde slicked back hair and glasses. Kazuhiko is well groomed and handsome and he also has a lion’s tail

Quirk - Cat Man

Properties - Kazuhiko can use the energy from food…to gain extreme muscle mass, grow claws, gain night vision, have enhanced senses, enhanced agility, and a mighty roar

Drawbacks - the quirk only lasts for as long as there’s food in his stomach…but the quirk absorbs the energy from the food…allowing for his powers to only be useful for mere moments. The enhanced senses can also be negated with bright lights in his eyes, foul smells, and extremely loud noises.

Octo (Kichi Calamari):

Personality - Kichi is awkward, adorable, and incredibly shy. Despite her shyness, she’s also scarily intelligent.

Looks - Kichi has a mutant type quirk. She has long orange-ish red-ish hair. She’s pretty short and has beady eyes.

Quirk - Octopus

Properties - Octopus is a mutant type quirk…meaning it’s always on her. Her quirk means she has eight slimy tentacles attached to her back, each with a hooked suction cup. Her quirk also explains why she’s incredibly intelligent. She can also secrete a slippery mucus from her skin. Her quirk also allows her to shoot ink from her mouth to blind foes.

Drawbacks - like an octopus…she needs to constantly stay hydrated…less she face drying out

Tremor (Kitaro Ryujin):

Personality - Kitaro is just like his sister in that he has no idea what’s going on ever…but he’s happy doing it.

Looks - Kitaro is described as being pretty handsome with an average height, muscular build, and spiky brown hair.

Quirk - Bulldoze

Properties - When Kitaro touches the ground…he can cause an immense seismic wave that causes a massive earthquake

Drawbacks - The quirk only works on solid ground…so sand, air, and water are unaffected by his quirk…grass also reduces the strength of the earthquake

Magnet (Leiko Fukumoto):

Personality - Leiko is pretty arrogant, but her arrogance is backed up with her high intelligence and great combat skills. Despite her arrogance, she’s pretty funny and somewhat laid back

Looks - She boasts long beautiful silver hair. She’s also pretty tall and muscular with solid steel colored eyes.

Quirk - Magnetic Pull

Properties - Her quirk allows her to telekinetically control metals. Her powers can let her lift semi trucks and even most buildings and launch them at you. She’s also known to quickly make protective shields out of surrounding metals.

Drawbacks - the strength of her magnetic pull solely revolves around the amount of iron in her body…when she has an iron deficiency…her quirk is rendered useless.

Forgemaster (Osamu Saito):

Personality - Osamu has a very protective and commanding personality. He often finds himself taking charge and protecting those he cares for. He also idolizes his pro hero cousin Momo Yaoyorozu and wishes to be just like her.

Looks - Osamu boasts light purple hair and soft facial features. He’s of an average height…but considerably fit.

Quirk - Weapon Hands

Properties - Osamu can turn his hand into any weapon as long as he knows exactly what the weapon is made of. His range can be from an entire cannon…to a simple knife.

Drawbacks - He must know the exact materials of the weapon…and the quirk draws upon energy from his body…so too much shifting to different weapons easily wears him out

Dopplëganger (Shina Saito):

Personality - Shina is incredibly nice and funny…but deep down, she’s insecure. She feels that she won’t live up to her cousin or her brother and she suffers from a severe identity crisis cause she feels she can’t even live up to herself.

Looks - Shina is viewed as being really pretty with long black hair. She’s kinda short and has a slim body type.

Quirk - Cloner

Properties - when she touches someone she can turn herself into them for around 6.5 minutes. Her quirk allows her to use their quirk as well.

Drawbacks - she’s only limited to 6.5 minutes per person and only one person at a time

Anti-Matter (Taishiro Tachi):

Personality - Taishiro is extremely confident but never arrogant. He’s also incredibly nice and out spoken about his ambitions and ideas

Looks - Taishiro is average height with a slim build. He has light blue hair and purple eyes filled with determination

Quirk - Light Constructs

Properties - his quirk allows him to create quite literally anything out of light…from a protective shield all the way to a functioning tank

Drawbacks - he must know exactly how his creation works or it’ll turn out faulty…his quirk also requires light so it cannot work in the dark

Gamma Ray (Yasuko Sugimoto):

Personality - she acts kinda like a big sister…she’s there for everyone when they need a shoulder to cry on. This comes from her feeling like other people’s problems are her fault…so she tries to fix them.

Looks - Yasuko has blonde hair in a side ponytail. She’s pretty tall and slim and has soft facial features.

Quirk - Gamma

Properties - when Yasuko claps her hands together…a giant destructive laser shoots from them with incredible force

Drawbacks - the laser is so bright it can temporarily blind her

[arthurprince]

Hiii so I got in the mood to recolor a picture of our favorite OrangeBoii into an alternate version of what he'd probably be if I was him or something like that.

I swear I didn't mean to draw a Menma look-alike, it's just that they're both alt versions of Naruto and they both have black hair and stuff.

I'll be honest, I'd suck very hard as a Shounen protagonist. My personality is more suited to an anti-hero if I'm not already somehow roped into working for the villain.

As Naruto, I would:

1. dye my hair black and wear red contacts because people only see the legacy of the Yondaime Hokage, Minato Namikaze, in my spiky blonde hair and cobalt blue eyes.

2. wear a mask to cover the distinctive whisker-like features that marked me as the current Kyūbi Jinchūriki in the eyes of the citizens of Konoha

3. join Danzo's shady cult for training purposes with the reassurance that Hiruzen, for all the stupid decisions he made, is still not stupid enough to let Danzo have free reign over Konoha's jinchūriki. If he's stupid enough to let Danzo influence me past a certain limit (*cough* inducted into ROOT *cough*) then Konoha was doomed already because their current Hokage has gone senile a few years ago and nobody's even noticed it. Or they did, but didn't do anything about it.

4. regret all my life decisions while wondering about the validity of the whole "nobody knew Naruto was Minato's son because the Sandaime did this and that to keep Naruto's identity a secret" because any shinobi worth their salt should've figured it out yesterday.

5. keep questioning myself why I'm still living in this village where everybody clearly hates me and would always pretend I don't exist anyways

6. create a relationship with Shino, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Sakura, and Tenten so I can have connections to all of Rookie 9 and Team Guy

7. continue doing pranks on the citizens of Konoha as it is good practice on sneaking up on shinobi and encourages creativity in strategy and is basically trap-making 101

8. do a rendition of the Obito speech on Kakashi and watch him lowkey panic

9. 'accidentally' confess to Sasuke that he's probably the closest I have to family and watch him be awkward around me after and subtly changing his behaviour around me as he re-evaluates our relationship. That, or my plan backfires and he'll hate me more.

10. ask the Kyūbi on our first meeting if he sees me as his jailer or prisoner as we are both behind bars in each other's perspectives

11. probably die really early.

Yeah, that's about it. I kinda want to see Sakura be Hokage, though. I'm not stupid enough to want to become Hokage, and I'd much rather stay in the shadows than be the center of attraction, but it'd probably be fun to be the new manager of Danzo's super secret organization and completely uproot... well, ROOT. Ngl Danzo and Hiruzen did a shit job of being shadow dictators but idunno Konoha's churning out high-quality nuke-nins so maybe they did something right before it all went wrong.

(I literally just traced this picture of Naruto and recolored it pls don't sue me)

#naruto #anime art #i don't know how tags work #but yeah #i made something #im sorry #i ranted #also #fuck hiruzen #fuck danzo #i dont know why i wrote this #i dont know why i made this #but i like how it looks

[crystalelemental]

Oh man.  GamePress apparently updated the offensive tier list to be AR exclusive, and boy have there been some changes.  You know I have opinions on this one.

Okay let’s start with the obvious part: how in the hell is any Legendary hero considered above Tier 2?  Like, are we not factoring in score?  Or are we only accounting for if they score well?  Because realistically, half the time, a legendary hero is an active detriment to the scoring.  Also it turns out this isn’t just offense, but both offense AND defense, since Mirabilis is Tier 1.  So that’s gonna be...honestly, a bit confusing.  I’m sure some people can tell which is which, but I’m willing to bet others aren’t clear.

Let’s start with the biggest changes at the top.  Eliwood and Brave Roy are now Tier 1, likely because Galeforce.  Nothing else is different that I can tell.  Maybe some demotion?  But nothing substantial.  Lysithea is finally recognized as Tier 1, and I’m certain it’s because of her power on AR-D.  Girl is obscene.  Otherwise, Fallen Julia is the only other T1 Red Mage, and damn good on her.  Idunn demoted, but honestly, fair.  AR is not for her.  Armor units are not hard to handle, and are pretty bad on offense.  Especially with Thrasir existing, armor dragons just have a rough go.  Spring Idunn and Tibarn alone are T1.  What I do find interesting is that Dancer Micaiah didn’t maintain.  I guess the Hardy Bearing effect isn’t as impressive anymore.  Also Karla stayed T2, that’s...astonishing, actually.  Duo Byleth is also T2, which kinda makes sense.  Defense can’t make use of her Duo skill, and her bulk is pathetic, so any typical ranged defense unit can handle her.  On offense, it’s going to be tough.  Desperation effect is good, but conditional on having a fast team, not to mention Galeforce sets can require the foe to retaliate, like with Eliwood/Brave Roy.  So I can’t say I’m surprised she’s not on top.

Lance seems to just be B!Lucina, Duo Ephraim, and Trio Palla.  Which is fair.  Blue mages, though?  Damn is this crowded.  L!Azura and Peony, because obscene dancers.  Ophelia, because bitch.  Duo Alphonse, because immortality.  Brunnya, because honestly Fimbulvetr is perfect for this game mode, and she’s got the infantry status and abilities to do whatever she wants.  And L!Julia.  I’m willing to bet she’s more AR-D focused.  Rafiel and L!Chrom are also T1, of course.  I think what really surprises me is that Reinhardt is T2.  Is anyone else surprised about this?  I guess he’s not the most threatening thing in the world anymore, but still.  Actually wait, what’s REALLY neat is that Naga is T3.  So clearly scoring considerations are not paramount.

Axes have V!Duo Alm, Annette, L!Edelgard, and B!Ike.  Because of course.  All of them are ridiculous.  Mages have L!Celica, Thrasir, and Fallen Lyon, with beasts/dragons having Reyson.  Which, again, makes sense.  I’m glad Surtr demoted to T2.  I really don’t think of him as the most threatening aspect of AR anymore, even on dedicated stall, so this feels overdue.  Yune’s also T2, which..okay, fair.  While I think she’s great, she’s a ranged flying unit who plays defense, and her debuff game is crippled severely by Eir’s bonuses.  It’s super weird that F!Kana demoted, though.  She was T1 before, and that was entirely based on AR potential, so...okay.  Guess the meta has shifted hard enough against her.  Also, big shoutouts to Julia for maintaining T2 status.  That’s my girl.

Bows have L!Alm, L!Leif, V!Faye, and Duo Marth.  I can’t speak for Duo Marth, I don’t have him, but I feel like the fact I’ve never faced one means he’s at least not good on AR-D.  I can vouch for V!Faye, though, holy shit.  In fact can we establish Tier 0 for the primordial beings that break the world over their knees?  Anyway, Bernadetta and B!Lyn are T2, and I’m betting that’s for hit-and-run offense teams.  Also Norne’s T2 now, which is super correct.  I’ve felt this for a while, and the forum backs me up pretty hard on it: Norne’s the best common archer by a mile.  But of course, you all know what I’m going to say.  There is no way Faye is T3.  I have played her ranged defense game long enough to know that she is really strong at it.  While some threats like Lysithea can blow past her, and Thrasir isn’t always one-shot with my current supports, she is very capable of performing better than T3.  Also, poor Clarisse.  Finally gets a kickass refine that’s just not particularly great for AR, and instead of climbing the ranks of the offensive tier list, they change the conditions on her.  Girl can’t catch a break.

Dagger/Mage combos have, of course, Bramimond, Leila, Eir, and Duo Micaiah.  Absolutely no surprises here.  What is surprising, maybe just to me, is that Winter Cecilia is down to T3.  She was considered T2 for a long while, and I’d guessed that was based on AR potential.  I guess Duo Micaiah is causing substantial problems for armors across the board?  But man, Larum is T2.  LARUM.  Larum sucks, what could she possibly be doing that’s useful?

Dragons/Beasts have Fallen Female Corrin, Leanne, Mila, and Velouria.  I love everything about this.  Leanne makes sense for Defense teams, Velouria is a great Galeforcer, Mila is probably the best Light mythic for supertank strategies, and Fallen Female Corrin makes me happy because Fallen Male Corrin is only T2.  Get fucked, loser.  Your higher BST does nothing for your shit ass.  I do think there’s an argument for Caineghis in T1 for an offensive supertank, but honestly, he struggles.  To a degree I’d say he’s worse than Faye.  We don’t have any beast Mythics, and the only offensive dragon is Mila.  His DC is conditional on transforming, and he’s an armor unit.  He can’t run Null C-Disrupt, or Null Follow-Up like she can, so there are defense teams that can beat him by exploiting this.  I feel like Faye’s a lot better, but hey, what do I know.

And finally, staves.  Bridal Fjorm is the only one in T1.  Brave Veronica actually dropped, which is funny because she was T1 before solely on AR.  She doesn’t place in Arena.  I guess the meta has shifted away from Brave Veronica lately.  I haven’t been scared of one in a long time.  And hey, Maribelle is T2 as well, and Forrest got pushed up to T3!  Unfortunately, Brave Camilla was reduced to T3, so she’s still below B!Veronica.  Which in this game mode I guess is fair.

Now for the opposite end of the spectrum.  There are now 6 tiers, which I like.  I feel the subdivisions are appropriate, we have enough units that categorization was tough.  T4 for lances and swords was like 60 units before, I’m glad it got cleaned up a bit.  For red stuff, Alfonse remains at the bottom, but is no longer alone.  NY!Camilla, Chrom, V!Conrad, Beach Fiora, Hinata, and NY!Hrid are also down there.  Haha, Hrid, get fucked you loser.  That’s for January 2019, you fuck.  Mages here include Canas, Julius (ouch), Leo, Beach Leo, Raigh, and Beach Lorenz.  No surprises.  There are no dragons, daggers, or bows for red down here, the lowest they go is T4.  Hysterically, every form of red Tiki is in T4.  Also, maybe this is me not understanding something, but NY!Anna and NY!Eir in T4 surprises me.  I thought their weapons were considered great team support.  Are their stats just not optimized for it? 

T6 lances are many.  Too many, I’m not listing all of that.  What I will say is, tell my Forma Finn running on the double cav Galeforce defense team that he’s T6.  Considering I only lost two matches at all last season, and only 38 Lift, I’d say he’s doing alright.  But there are probably better options out there, I’m just working with what I have.  Mages are just Oliver and M!Robin.  Man, I hope M!Robin goes up with the resplendent.  Leave Oliver to die.  No dragons, bows, or daggers, they’re all up in T4 where...where...no.  No, there’s no way.  Lilith has warp abilities from anywhere.  NAESALA is considered T4, despite being paired with Tibarn for some of the nastiest offensive AR-D strategies out there.  Mordecai has the Smite thing.  I don’t agree with this at all.  And Ninian is T3?  Even though she’s one of the top picks for Infantry Pulse AR-D dancers?  I know Nils exists and is better in every way pretty much, but that’s a bit much to me.  I think the blue dragon/beast section is the most ridiculous by far.

There are also a lot of axes down in T6, but I agree with all of them.  The green mages make me sad, though.  Picnic Leo, Cecilia, and Female Robin.  I do think F!Robin has a lot of utility within the game, but...honestly they’re super right, she cannot possibly compete in AR.  Defense teams have no use for her, and offensive teams using her as a support are a bad idea with Panic Manor around.  Mostly Cecilia makes my heart hurt.  Come on, IS.  Null C-Disrupt Raven Tome when?  As with the other tiers, all dragons, bows, and daggers of this color are higher ranked.  That said, L!Lyn in T5.  Get fucked.  There’s also...absolutely nothing controversial about their T4 picks.  Green’s pretty well sorted, good job team.

The only colorless option with units in T6 are healers, where we have Azama, Mist, Wrys, Sakura, and Lissa.  Nothing controversial here.  In fact, nothing controversial in T5, either.  What is sad but super true, is that F!Grima’s here.  All the other colorless beasts and dragons are clustered in T1 and T2, but she’s down in T5.  Expiration refine when?  Felicia and Jaffar are the lowest ranked daggers, to no one’s surprise.  None of the bows are shocking either, except I’m kinda surprised Niles isn’t at least a little higher.  I feel like his massive Res must account for something when attempting to tank out the many ranged magic threats on AR-D, right?

Overall, I...actually agree with the majority of this.  It’s a solid tierlist for Aether Raids.  There are some things I don’t entirely agree with, but would have trouble arguing in their favor in the current meta.  Like Micaiah.  As we move entirely away from armor units, Micaiah becomes less and less significant.  I do think the blue dragon/beast section could take some revisiting, given that goddamn Naesala is down in T4, but one area that seems off isn’t bad when you have so much to organize.  I like it.  Definitely a lot better than the previous list, because at least now we’re specialized.  Before, there was always an argument that a certain unit was better or worse based on performance in a specific area.  But here, it’s more stable.  I’m not sure if there’s intent to make an Arena one, or if that’s even necessary since scoring is a lot more specific for Arena, but we’ll see.

#fire emblem heroes #gamepress #gamepress tier list

[gaapsama]

20 Questions meme 🌸

Tagged by @nerdy-zenpunk , a straight up babe. 🤗

Do you make your bed? -No, I leave it a straight up disaster lmao.

What’s your favorite number? -For some reason I have a fondness of numbers ending in 6 (ie 16, 26, etc) and the number 3 specifically.

What’s your job? -I’m a store manager for Subway. Eat fresh babes 🥪

If you could, would you go back to school? -Absolutely, I love the academic atmosphere and I regret dropping out of college.

Can you parallel park? - LOL NO, but it doesn’t help that my van is huge and has power steering issues 🙃

A job you had which would surprise people? - I’ve had a few: a stripper, a service advisor for a camper/motorhome company, and a service advisor for a Walmart automotive center. I don’t think I know jack shit about the service advisor jobs, but apparently knew enough to do well. And stripping was my favorite job of all time~

Do you think aliens are real? -For sure, I think it would be selfish and sad to believe that we are the only living beings in the entire universe.

Can you drive a manual car? -I’ve never tried, so I’m not gonna say no?

What’s your guilty pleasure? -Isolating myself and ignoring people 😅 it’s something I enjoy but definitely makes me feel guilty.

Tattoos? -I only have one right now, but plan to get more. It’s a friendship tattoo that has a sun, moon, and star in corresponding birthstone colors to me and two of my best friends.

Favorite color(s)? - PINK, but I also enjoy the color schemes of the vapor wave aesthetic.

Things people do that drive you crazy? -I’m uncomfortable with mouth noises associated with eating, and also when I have to explain something over and over to employees who just don’t seem to retain information. 🤯

Any phobias? -I’m afraid of the dark, and of my own heartbeat... it gives me pretty bad anxiety. Existing sucks lol.

Favorite childhood sport? -I don’t sportsball, although I was forced to do softball and karate as a child. I more so enjoyed marching band in high school than anything else.

Do you talk to yourself? -Only when really frustrated. I’ll start swearing to myself.

What movie do you adore? - I really enjoy Arrival for all the linguistic/alien stuff. But there’s too many more to name. I love stuff that’s psychologically scary or boggling.

Do you like doing puzzles? -Not in the sense of like “puzzle piece” puzzles, but I do enjoy puzzle/strategy games in general.

Favorite kind of music? -I listen to everything, and yes I do mean that literally. Some particular fave songs happen to fall into the lo-fi, metal, alternative, disco pop, and electro-swing categories. But seriously, I have too many genres I like to really pin it down.

Tea or coffee? -*insert “Both? Both? Both.” Road to El Dorado GIF here*

The first thing you remembered you wanted to be when you grew up? -First I think I wanted to be a magical girl (thanks Sailor Moon/CardCaptor Sakura) but a realistic first desire was marine biologist. The new goal nowadays is to be a foreign language translator for some sort of government official.

I’m not going to tag anyone because I’m worried about assuming people will be interested 😅 thanks if you read this far.

[i-am-made-of-memoriies]

The Will of Fire (Part one)

Summary: Sarada is the firstborn of the renewed Uchiha clan. Sure, she is different from the Uchiha who preceded her, but by how much? This story follows Sarada’s life and the trials and tribulations she goes through. (Two shot)

A/N: I really like this one, not gonna lie. Sarada is a great character, it sucks how Boruto really did her dirty. Oh, this is formatted in the same way as “How the Winters Change”. Check that out if you like badass Uchiha women!

Sarada’s first memory was of her father. She remembered seeing Sasuke’s onyx eyes looking at her with pride as she spun around in her burgundy dress, emblazoned with the Uchiha symbol. Sasuke had just gifted her an entire new wardrobe for her birthday with the Uchiwa on each article of clothing. As for the rest of the day, Sarada didn’t remember it as well; it hardly mattered anyway. What mattered was that her father was proud of her, and Sarada would never forget that.

------------------------------ 

The rosy hues of morning filled Sarada’s bedroom, bathing her bed in a soft light. She opened her eyes and smiled with anticipation since today was her first day of the academy.

Stepping off her bed, she put her red glasses on and moved towards her wardrobe, knowing exactly what she would wear.

You should look formal but not overdressed. Sarada remembered her mother’s words, picking out her white shirt, orange vest, yellow cardigan, and red skirt. After dressing, she observed herself in the mirror, ultimately approving of the look.

“Sarada!” Sakura called from downstairs, “Breakfast’s ready. You don’t want to be late for your first day!”

“Coming Mama!” She replied, skipping out of her room and to the kitchen. A warm plate of eggs, toast, and fruit sat waiting for Sarada at the table.

“I can’t believe my girl has gotten so grown up.” Sakura sighed, squeezing her only daughter, “Eat up sweetie. You want to be well fed so that you can show everyone how great the Uchihas are!”

“Mama,” Sarada started, “if you’re an Uchiha, why aren’t grandma and grandpa? You said that papa’s parents were.”

“I wasn’t born an Uchiha. You see, once I married your papa, I became an Uchiha.”

“Oh, okay mama!” Sarada exclaimed after a moment of thought, “I’m going to go to the Academy now!”

“Have an amazing day.”

“Of course!”

---------------------------------------

Sarada wasn’t surprised when everyone seemed to know who she was. As Mama had often told her, Uchihas are very well known for their strength and intelligence. I have no doubt that you’ll live up to that reputation. Yet again, heeding her mother’s wisdom, Sarada opened the textbook she had just been assigned and began to read it.

“Four-eyes!” A voice called from behind her, breaking her concentration, “You don’t even know what we’re supposed to read. On top of that, studying is boring, why don’t you have some fun?”

Sarada rolled her eyes and turned, ready to snap at whoever had interrupted her reading. Upon turning around, she realized that the obnoxious kid was Boruto. Her family friend and the son of the Hokage.

“Leave me alone Boruto.” She sighed, turning back to the reading.

“Geez Sarada, you’re no fun.” The Uzumaki grumbled before sliding into a seat beside Shikadai.

The door of the classroom slid open as their new sensei walked in. He wore a green jacket and had something that slightly resembled electronic goggles on his face.

“Hello class.” He said, setting his books onto the teacher’s desk, “My name is Shino Aburame, but you can just call me Shino-sensei. That is because I will be teaching you until you graduate. Why don’t we go around the room and introduce ourselves.”

     Each of the new Genin gave their name and something they liked to do. Once it was Sarada’s turn, she sat up straighter and adjusted her glasses.

      “My name is Sarada Uchiha. I like to train and read.” She announced proudly, making sure everyone heard her speak.

Shino nodded and moved around the class, quickly jotting down each individual answer.

“I am pleased.” He stated, “That is because you seem like an interesting class.”

------------------------------------

Sarada grinned and cracked her knuckles. It was the academy student’s first spar. Previously, the matches had been strictly boys vs boys and girls vs girls, but the rules had been changed to encourage the girls to be stronger. Sarada loved the new rule, since most of the girls were far below her level in taijutsu, leaving only the boys as suitable taijutsu opponents.

“The matches will be picked at random.” Shino announced, “That is because I want everyone to test their skill and not just challenge their friends. The first match will be…” he reached into the straw basket he was carrying, “Wasabi and Denki.”

Sarada recognized Denki as he was the son of the Kaminarimon company owner. The boy looked frankly terrified when he walked into the ring, his knobbly knees shaking in fright. Wasabi, on the other hand, cracked her knuckles confidently and strutted into the ring. Sarada didn’t know much about Wasabi other than her affinity for cats, so she made a note to pay extra attention to her fighting style.

Wasabi bounced lightly on her toes, waiting for the match to begin. The smile on her face suggested that she was confident in her abilities, or perhaps that she was confident in Denki’s lack thereof. Sarada deemed the latter rather messed up, but also highly probable.

“Hajime!” Shino started the match, leaping out of the ring.

Wasabi decided to take full advantage of Denki’s cowardice and rushed straight in. With an impressive burst of speed, she leapt behind the boy and knocked him clean off his feet. Denki fell unceremoniously to the ground, but still pushed himself up, placing his fists in front of his face for protection. Wasabi gave Denki an uncomfortable (and rather pitying) look before she knocked him to the ground again. Ever persistent, Denki clambered to his feet again, his eyes scrunched shut, anticipating the next blow.

“Let’s call that a match.” Shino interrupted, appearing in between the two, “Wasabi is the winner.”

“Next match…” Sarada prayed for her to be matched with Boruto so that she could beat some sense into him, “Sarada vs Boruto.”

Sarada smiled as her prayers were answered and she stepped into the ring.

“I’m totally gonna win four-eyes!” Boruto announced, raising his fist for emphasis, “I’m gonna kick your ass-ttebasa!”

“You wish baka-Boruto.” Sarada sighed, “You’ll understand how wrong you were after this match is over.”

Sarada breathed deeply, running strategies in her head. She had seen Boruto train before with his father and alone; his style was reckless and he never planned out his moves beforehand. It was his greatest weakness and his greatest strength. Sarada decided that she should fight unpredictability with unpredictability and threw out her previous well-crafted plan.

“Hajime!”

Sarada knew that Boruto would expect for her to test the waters before going straight into the fight since he didn’t know that she had been observing him. Sarada decided to throw him off and start off with a bang.

“Shannaro!” She exclaimed as she shattered the ground with one chakra infused punch.

Boruto’s eyes widened with shock and horror as he was thrown off-balance. Sarada seized the opportunity and pinned him to the ground, holding her fist over his face.

“Told you you’d be wrong dobe.” She teased, accenting the last word.

“The winner of this match is Sarada.” Shino announced, quickly jotting something down on his clipboard.

-----------------------------------------

Sarada walked home fuming. She had just lost a match to Boruto and she couldn’t be more angry. It was all because she hadn’t activated her sharingan yet! When she had voiced her complaints to her mother, Sakura had assured her that most Uchiha’s acquired their sharingan after the academy, but Sarada didn’t stand for it. She didn’t want to be average. If she was average, she’d never be able to totally cream Boruto.

She threw the door of her house open, adding in a little chakra for effect and stormed up to her room.

“Sarada sweetie, what’s wrong?” Sakura asked worriedly, hurrying up the stairs, not even bothering to take her doctor’s coat off.

Sarada slammed her door shut and pulled the old Uchiha scrolls her ever-absent father had apparently left for her. It was in that moment in which she realized what she needed.

“Nothing’s wrong!” She exclaimed, “Not with me at least! What’s wrong is the fact that my father, the only person who can teach me real Uchiha techniques hasn’t been in by life for years! In fact, I don’t even remember what it felt like when he held me! I have no memories of him! Who knows, the pictures of papa could be some random Uchiha man for all I know!”

“Sarada!” Sakura exclaimed, breaking the door off its hinges. She took one look at the ruined door, grimaced, and walked into Sarada’s room. “Your father is off protecting us right now. When he gets back, I’m sure he’ll teach you everything you need to know.” Sakura was careful to not say ‘everything he knows’ since she was more that positive that Sasuke would want to keep many secrets from his daughter.

-----------------------------------------

After much confusion and about a gallon of tears, Sarada finally got to see her papa home again. Now that she knew that Sakura was truly her mother and that Sasuke was a sweet and considerate father, Sarada could be at rest.

“Sakura-anata,” Sasuke called from the living room, “would you like me to make dinner?”

Sasuke got no response.

Sarada grinned happily at the sight of her father calling her mother’s name with such gentle sweetness. “No papa, I think mama’s still at work.” She slid onto the couch next to her father and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Hn.” Sasuke replied with his typical monosyllabic grunt, “Do you want to train?”

Sarada was suddenly giddy with excitement. She had never expected to get to train with her father without suggesting it first. The fact that Sasuke wanted to train with her practically forced her sharingan to activate. “I’d love to!” She exclaimed, leaping off the couch, “I’ll get in my training gear and be down in a few minutes.”

Sasuke grunted in approval again, walking towards the bookshelf to grab a few training scrolls.

Sarada opened her newly-replaced bedroom door with glee and skipped to her dresser. She grabbed her favorite red tunic, cream shorts, and the arm and leg warmers that had been a gift from Hinata.

After dressing at a record speed, she grabbed her kunai and shuriken pouch and sprinted downstairs. Her father was waiting patiently for her at the door, his katana fastened around his hip.

“Let’s go.”

Sarada embraced the clarity of vision she got from her sharingan as she dodged another barrage of kunai. Pivoting gracefully on her heel, she performed her signature shuriken jutsu and aimed the sharp weapons at her father’s supposed position. She grinned when she heard the sharp sound of metal against metal, meaning that Sasuke had finally been forced to draw his katana. Riding on that sudden burst of confidence, she confronted him, aiming a chakra infused punch. Sasuke leaped gracefully out of the way, but Sarada didn’t drop her fist. Instead, she struck the ground right where Sasuke was about to land, causing cracks to spread outwards. As Sarada expected, Sasuke did not lose his balance like Boruto often did; he leaped outside the damaged area with well practiced ease and aimed a kick at Sarada. Still smiling, she ducked under her father’s muscular leg and flipped backwards. Sasuke re-sheathed his katana and gave Sarada a kind smile.

“I am impressed.” He stated, “You use your sharingan well, despite its undeveloped form.”

Sarada’s smile only increased. “Thank you papa!” She replied, wiping sweat off her brow, “I bet mama’s waiting for us.”

“Hn.”

---------------------------------------

Sarada smiled exasperatedly at her teammates. Boruto had gotten into trouble yet again, and Mitsuki had done nothing to stop him. Sure, Sarada was a bit miffed that they had jeopardized their mission, but the look of horror on the escort’s face when she realized Boruto had deeply insulted her father was priceless.

“Our apologies ma’am.” Sarada bowed in front of the woman, trying desperately to stifle laughter, “My teammate did not understand what he was doing. You see, he’s a little…” Sarada leaned closer to the woman, “slow.”

“Sarada!” Boruto whined, “I heard that!”

“It’s okay, you can ignore him.” Sarada assured the client, “Though he may not be intellectually strong, I can assure you that you are in good hands when it comes to protection.”

“He better be top notch!” The woman exclaimed, “I paid good money for this and I would rather not be killed.”

Sarada tried not to yell ‘bullshit’ as the client blew the simple escort mission out of proportion. They were only protecting her from measly robbers and a couple vindictive princesses who were jealous of her wealth.

“You will definitely not be killed.” She said with certainty, “We will make absolutely sure of it.”

She could walk all by herself and not get anything but a good frighten from some of the wild animals. Much less be brutally murdered. Sarada thought.

“Mitsuki,” she started, “Let’s set up camp.”

“I’ll collect the fire wood.” He replied, “Why don’t you catch some dinner?”

“I’m on it. I’ll have Boruto watch the ‘princess’.” She placed irritated emphasis on the last word, shooting a disdainful look at the aforementioned subject.

“Boruto!” She called, scanning the area for a yellow mop of hair.

“What, Sarada-teme?” A voice replied from behind Sarada.

“I need you to watch the client baka-Boruto.”

“Why can’t you do it?” He whined.

“Because I need to catch dinner and my aim and stealth is far better than yours.” She turned dramatically on her heel and marched into the forest, reaching for her kunai.

---------------------------------------

Sarada was practically sprinting home after her mission. When they had delivered the report, Naruto-sama had told Sarada that her parents had to tell her something important.

Sarada was mixed with feelings of anticipation, excitement, and lingering traces of dread.

What if what mama and papa have to tell me is bad? She thought worriedly, leaping from roof to roof. Maybe grandma passed away. Or grandpa? Or maybe it’s something good. Maybe papa’s going to stay here for real. Or maybe mama got a raise? No, she’s already head of the hospital. Her mind was rushing with hypothetical situations and the ways she’d deal with them, but she somehow managed to completely ignore one possibility. Maybe because she was overestimating her parent’s age, or she didn’t think papa wanted to stay for that period of time, but she somehow didn’t think she’d be getting a little sibling.

“Really?!” Sarada exclaimed, not fully processing the full implications of what her mother had just told her.

“Yes.” Sasuke replied confidently, “I will also be staying in Konoha for at least three years now.”

Sarada received another influx of mixed emotions. Sure she was overjoyed that her father was going to stay at home for at least three years, but she still felt a twang of anger and jealousy when she realized that her father was going to actually see her sibling’s childhood when he wasn’t around for her’s.

“Aren’t you excited?” Sakura asked, frowning at Sarada’s detached expression.

“Yeah.” She said half-heartedly, “I’m going to go out and train.”

“But you just got…” Sarada had already left the house before Sakura could say ‘home’.

“What’s up with her?” Sakura asked Sasuke, leaning on his shoulder.

Sasuke wrapped his single arm affectionately around his wife, “It must be a teen thing.”

“Or maybe it’s just the Uchiha moodiness. I was hoping it wasn’t hereditary.” Sakura mock sighed, making her way over to the couch.

“Hn.” Sasuke replied, sitting down next to his wife.

“Now you’re being detached and moody!” Sakura pouted, sticking her bottom lip out, “Am I being too annoying?”

“You know what could make you less annoying?” Sasuke asked suggestively, “If you don’t know, we can talk about it tonight.”

Sakura blushed slightly and gave Sasuke a quick kiss on the cheek. “I love you Sasuke-kun.” She whispered, “I think I’ll take you up on that offer about tonight. Now, I need to make some dinner.”

“Hn.”

----------------------------------

Sarada half stomped to the training grounds, still battling with her emotions. She wanted what was best for her younger sibling, of course she did! But she couldn’t push aside the feelings of jealousy that plagued her mind. She needed someone to talk to. Her mind went first to her teammates. She could speak to Boruto; no, he’d be far too immature and annoying. Mitsuki was also out of the question, as Sarada doubted that he even had an emotional range. She needed to speak to an adult, one that knew how to approach children. Auntie Ino! Her mind lit up as she made her way to the Yamanaka complex.

Her fist hit the door twice before it was quickly opened by a tall, blonde woman.

“Sarada-chan!” Ino exclaimed enthusiastically, “I haven’t seen you for ages, please come in!”

Ino ushered Sarada to the kitchen where she placed a pot of tea and some snacks in front of Sarada.

“If you were hoping to speak to Inojin, I’m afraid you’re out of luck.” She said, sitting across from Sarada.

“Oh, I was hoping to speak to you.” She replied, grabbing a stick of tri-colored dango.

“Perfect! About what? Are there any boys you like?” Ino sipped her tea and straightened her long blonde ponytail.

“No, no, it’s not about boys.” Sarada took a deep breath. “It’s just, I’m going to have a little sibling-”

“Oh yes!” Ino interrupted, “I’ve heard!” She took one look at Sarada’s conflicted face and changed her attitude, “Now you don’t seem all that excited about that. Want to talk about it?”

Sarada nodded, swallowing her dango. “I’m happy that I’ll have a sibling, and I want what’s best for them. It’s just, my papa will be staying and paying so much more attention to him than they did with me. And I know that sounds really selfish, I just struggled for such a long time to get papa to notice and love me, I feel that it’s-it’s not fair.”

“Oh sweetie, your papa always loved you.” Ino said kindly, “Though you may not remember it, he would carry you around with him everywhere before he left for the village. You probably know that Sasuke isn’t particularly simley, but whenever he’d look at you, he’d grin. And it scared us all at first, because we’d never really seen him smile, and we were worried that he’d kill someone or something-oh I’m going off on a tangent! Anyway, I know it may seem like Sasuke loves your sibling more, but I assure you that he was just as happy when you were born. Though I wasn’t there while Sakura was pregnant the first time, I can assure you that you were really loved!”

“Thank you auntie Ino.” Sarada said sincerely, “I know he loved me, but why did he have to leave? Everyone tells me that he had a very important mission to go on, but no mission should be so important that you have to lose contact with your family for ten years!”

“I don’t know if I’m that one to tell you that.” Ino replied apologetically, “I’m sure Sasuke would want to tell you that for himself.”

“That’s what everyone says!” Sarada exclaimed indignantly, “No one tells me, and when I ask my papa he poked me in the forehead and says ‘maybe next time’.”

Ino stifled a laugh, “Here’s one thing I can tell you.” Sarada perked up, “I’m sure you’ve heard of your uncle Itachi.” Sarada nodded, “See, he used to poke your father in the forehead the same way. If fact, right before he died, that’s what he did. It’s your papa’s way of showing deep affection.”

Sarada smiled to herself, “How do you know that auntie Ino?”

“See, right before he left the village about thirteen, fourteen years ago, he poked your mama on the head and promised to take her next time. He did. As for how I know that Itachi did that before he died, Sakura told me.”

“Thank you auntie Ino.” Sarada hugged the kunoichi and began to walk home.

---------------------------------------

“Sarada, you can go see your brother now!” Shizune announced, ushering Sarada into Sakura’s room.

“Sarada, this is Kohei.” Sakura said cradling the baby boy.

Sarada grinned and walked towards her new brother. Sakura let her hold the little bundle and Sarada held him close to her chest.

“Hello Kohei.” She whispered, gazing affectionately at the newborn. “My name is Sarada, and I’m your big sister. I promise to always protect you. No matter what.”

The baby stirred in his blankets, and grabbed onto Sarada’s index finger. Sarada grinned even wider and rocked the baby gently.

Sasuke smiled lightly to himself while holding Sakura’s hand gently. He took in the beautiful image of his two beloved children together and memorized the moment with his sharingan.

“He has pink hair Sasuke.” Sakura muttered chuckling, “You said that the Uchiha genes were dominant, but look at him with his pink hair and green eyes. He’s a mini me.”

“I suppose there are always exceptions.”

Part 2

#sasuke #sakura #sasusaku #naruto #naruto fanfiction #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #naruto uzumaki #hinata #hinata hyuga #sasusaku fanfiction #sarada #sarada uchiha #boruto #boruto uzumaki #borusara #ino #ino yamanaka #saino #inojin #writing #fanfiction

[isolavirtuosa]

Starting Over (For Real?) 35-36

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Read the previous parts here.

- 35 -

  Kakashi appeared at the rendezvous point, looking the same as always despite the months that had passed since he’d first brought us here.

“Ready to go?” he asked cheerfully.

“Yes,” I said flatly, happy to be sucked into his sharingan before finally being taken back to Suna.

Naruto and Temari were waiting for us on the other side.

“It’s so good to see you,” Sakura said.

“You, too,” Naruto said, and his smile wasn’t completely forced.  Maybe time healed all wounds.

“Hey, cuz,” Karin said, and the two exchanged a complicated handshake.

Naruto turned to me expectantly.

I started to move closer and stopped.

He leaned in closer, then also stopped, pulling back.

We stared at each other.

“Hey,” I finally said.

“Hey,” he echoed back, looking sad.

“Um, sorry to intrude,” Choujuurou said, rubbing the back of his neck.  We’d cut him out of one of God Trees and he’d come back with us as a representative of the Water ninjas.

“It’s no intrusion,” Naruto said, as if he were the ruler of Suna.  He shook Choujuurou’s hand, giving him a welcoming smile.  “We’ll go to the kazekage’s office and do the report, then we’ll get you set up in some rooms.”

We all followed Temari and Naruto to the kazekage’s office.  It was no surprise when Temari sat down behind the desk.  We’d received a steady stream of updates from Naruto about the state of Suna.  Gaara was still out of commission.  Temari was the acting kazekage.  Suna seemed to be turning into a refugee camp for starving and defecting ninja, but the gates were always firmly closed.

“Let’s make this brief,” she said crisply.  “You haven’t found the mizukage.”

“No,” I said.

“The Water ninjas are living in concentration camps and any dissenters are being sucked into what seem to be mini God Trees, an operation sanctioned by the Water Daimyo.”

I looked at Choujuurou.

He blinked.  “Oh, uh, me?  Yes, ma’am, that’s correct.”

“You have been able to harvest what appears to be chakra fruit from said trees, and think consumption of such a fruit might be a cure for the mysterious ailment of those who have started to turn into white zetsu.”

“Yes, that’s what we hope,” Sakura said, patting her bag where scrolls containing the two chakra fruit we’d managed to steal were.

“Anything else to report?” Temari asked.

“The daimyo’s men have weapons that are formidable against ninjas,” Sai chimed in.

“Formidable in what way?” Temari asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Well, they took Uchiha out of action for a week,” he said.

Naruto tensed where he was standing behind Temari, his arms crossing over his chest.  His right arm had grown all the way to his wrist.

“I have one here for your engineering team’s analysis,” Sai said, holding up a scroll.

“Thank you, that will be most helpful,” Temari said, taking it.  “If that’s all…?”

We nodded.

“I’ll take them to their rooms,” Naruto said, leading the way to the old apartment building.

Of course he left me for last.  After unlocking the door and pushing it open, he just stood there like a dumb statue.

“Are we going to go inside?” I asked, even though I really didn’t want to.  Just looking at him was making me nervous and it was absolutely pathetic.  He was probably angry about the me-being-shot-thing, which I had refused to let anyone tell him.  Also, there was just the eternal question of where we stood with each other after such a long time apart.  We’d exchanged brief messages which were always about our missions and nothing of actual importance.

Naruto took a hesitant step inside the apartment.

I closed and locked the door behind us, then dropped the key on the small table by the door.

“Your arm,” he said quietly.  It had reached about halfway down my forearm.

“Your arm,” I said with a shrug.

“I just… I haven’t seen it,” he said, then his eyes flicked from my arm to nervously meet my eyes.  “Why is this so awkward?”

“Because you’re an awkward person?” I suggested.

“More likely because you’re an awkward person,” he said.

Ouch.  That was cuttingly accurate.  “Then make it less awkward.”

His eyes softened.  “I missed you.”

“How does that make it less awkward?” I asked irritably.

“Because hopefully you missed me, too, and we can just… move forward?” he asked hopefully.

I wanted to be very mean and cutting to him.  I took a breath instead.  “Yeah,” I finally said.

“Yeah?” he repeated.

“I missed you, too,” I admitted.  Being near him was like finding a missing piece of my soul.

“Really?” he asked, his whole face lighting up.

“Unfortunately,” I grumbled, because I didn’t want to change my character completely.

“Good,” he said.  “Very, very good,” he concluded, looking like he wanted to lean in.

He didn’t.

I didn’t want him to, anyway.  I avoided staring at his mouth and stared at the horns that were obviously starting to protrude out of his bangs instead.  “You’re not doing a henge?” I asked, almost reaching my hand out to brush his hair aside and quickly stopping myself.

Naruto shrugged, looking self-conscious.  “I uh… I mean, are they that noticeable?”

I realized they were probably only noticeable because I was looking for them.  “No one’s asking any questions?”

He shrugged again.  “What can I say when I don’t know what’s happening?”

“But you’re clearly in a leadership role here,” I said.  “No one’s using it to undercut you?”

“Nope,” he said, not seeming concerned.

I had been away from this idiot for far too long.  I cast a henge on him.

He blinked.  “Thanks?  It’s really not necessary, though.  I mean, everyone can see my arm.”

“Tell them you’re trying a progressive new cell therapy or something,” I said.  “A regrown arm is one thing.  Alien horns are quite another.  People already think you have too much power.”

“They do?”

“I thought you were a savvy politician now,” I said, giving him a disgusted once-over.  “Do you live in a bubble?  You have a giant target on your back.”

He gave me those damn puppy eyes.

“You’re hopeless without me,” I informed.  Wait, why did I say that out loud?!

“Kinda,” he agreed.  His eyes were still huge and puppy-like.

“You should go,” I decided.

“Huh?” he said.

“You have work to do, don’t you?” I said, waving him off dismissively.  “I need to debrief my team, anyway.”

“Do you feel uncomfortable being alone with me?” Naruto asked, sticking out his lower lip.

“Why would you say that?” I asked, which was an obvious ‘yes’.

“We gotta talk, Sas’,” he said softly.  “Later, yeah?”

“Later,” I agreed.  I was already walking him back to the door.  I opened it and waited expectantly.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said suddenly, looking like he was remembering how to breathe for the first time in months.

Or maybe that was just me projecting my own feelings on him.  “You, too,” I said, pushing him out the door and locking it behind us.

“I’m probably working through dinner, but can I knock on your door when I’m done?”

I looked at him.  My eyes narrowed.  “Did you get taller?”

His mouth split into a wide grin.  “Catching up.”

“You will never be taller than me,” I informed him, but dammit, we were basically eye-level.  “Find me when you’re done for the night.”

“Okay,” he said, his eyes lingering.  “See you tonight.”

I went upstairs and knocked on Sai’s door.  There was no answer.  I frowned and moved on to Karin’s door.  I could feel her inside, her chakra flowing like water.  It didn’t feel like Karin at all.  I knocked loudly.

She answered the door, her eyes flitting around nervously.  “Hey, Boss,” she said.

“Is Sai here?” I asked her.

“Nope,” she said, looking even more suspicious, though her chakra felt normal now.

“Sure,” I said.  “When are you and Sakura going to start experimenting with the chakra fruit?”

“Tomorrow if things go as planned,” she said, but she didn’t seem so keen about it.  Karin hadn’t wanted to come back to Suna yet, saying we still had more to learn about the daimyo’s strange baby God Trees.

I’d made the final decision to come back.  It was a strategic decision.  We weren’t making any headway in finding the mizukage, and no matter how many times we cut down a God Tree, another one always sprang up.  It was time to regroup and come back with a new strategy.

“So, uh, I’m busy unpacking,” she said.

I waved her off, moving on to Sakura’s room.

Sakura was coming out of the door with Kankurou, looking frazzled.

“I got permission to see Tsunade,” she explained, waving as she left.

I tried knocking on Chuujuurou’s door.

“He’s in a meeting with Naruto,” Kankurou called over his shoulder as he followed after Sakura.

I went back to my room and stared at the bland walls.  That got boring quickly, though it was relaxing to be in a quiet space by myself.  So I exercised.  My body was almost back to normal, minus my still slightly-missing arm, and I intended to keep it that way.  Even my shoulder was perfectly recovered, minus the scar.  Just one more to add to the collection.

Sai finally came knocking on my door, asking about where we could get dinner.

Suna was nothing like the Land of Water.  Food was plentiful, the damage from the God Tree had been repaired, and no one had to hide their chakra.  There were so many restaurants to choose from, and we finally settled on a Chinese one.

“Why were we in Water for so long again?” Karin complained as she continued stuffing dumplings into her mouth.

“You were the one who didn’t want to come back,” I pointed out.

“I guess that’s why you’re the leader,” she said, showing me all of the half-eaten dumplings she was chewing as she talked.

I couldn’t really complain, though, as I was eating in a less beatific manner than I usually would.  Ration bars and fish just didn’t satisfy the body the way a proper meal could, and I felt like I hadn’t eaten a proper meal in months.

“I have never enjoyed food this much in my life,” Sai sighed, slumping back in his chair.  “We should stay here for a while.”

“Seems like it’s getting a little crowded,” I commented.

“Because your boy Naruto keeps gathering all the defectors here,” Karin said.  “Look at all these forehead protectors.  I don’t see a single Suna one.”

She was exaggerating, because there were several Suna ninjas in the restaurant, but it was true that most were from Konoha, Kiri, and Iwa.  There were also a couple from Kumo.  The food shortages were the major reason, but political unrest was the other.  Those who sided with Naruto and Kakashi were defecting from Konoha in droves.  The anti-ninja campaign by the water daimyo had resulted in the entire population of Kirigakure being forcefully relocated or fleeing the country.  Something was going on in Iwa as well, though we still weren’t sure what.

Basically, the world was a mess and Suna was one of the last safe havens.

“He’s not my boy,” I mumbled, because that was clearly the most important part of the conversation.

Karin snorted.  “Here we go.”

I ignored her and continued to eat my food until the belt on my pants started to feel a little too tight.

“Hey, you know what else the Land of Wind has that Water does not?” Sai asked, still slouched in his chair with a protruding belly.

Karin and I both stared at him, waiting.

He smiled at us expectantly.

We stared harder.

“You have to ask me, ‘what is it that the Land of Wind has that Water does not, Sai?’” he explained.

I sighed loudly and Karin rolled her eyes.

“What does Wind have that Water doesn’t?” Karin humored him.

“Alcohol!” he declared.

Karin’s eyes lit up.  Mine probably looked about the same.  What better way to deal with all of your problems than to run away from them in the bottom of a bottle?

 - 36 -

  We found ourselves completely drunk within the course of an hour, pouring each other sake in my apartment and laughing about nothing.

There was a knock at the door.

“It’s your boy,” Karin attempted to stage whisper to me but ended up yelling it.

“Do you think he can tell I’m drunk?” I fussed.  I didn’t want to come off as inebriated.

“Yes,” Sai said, cracking up.  “You’re so drunk, Best Friend Sasuke, it’s embarrassing.”

“I am not!” I protested, pointing a finger at him and knocking my glass over in the process, spilling alcohol everywhere.  “And you can’t call me that!”

“Um, but I do all the time?” he said, getting some tissues and mopping up my mess.

The knock on the door came more loudly.

“Pretend we’re not here!” Karin tried to whisper again, yelling in my ear.

“I can hear you,” Naruto said tiredly.

“The soundproofing in these apartments is terrible,” I commented.

“You left the door open,” Naruto added.  “I’m coming in.”

“Oh, no!” I said, trying to hide the sake bottle by drinking the rest of its contents.

“Best Friend Sasuke, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Sai scolded me, taking the bottle away.

“Sai, ix-nay on the est-bay riend-fay,” I whispered.

Naruto appeared in the living room, looking stressed.  He had a houseplant tucked under his arm.

“Hey there, Naruto,” I said, being completely normal and cool.

Karin cracked up.

“Should I come back another time?” Naruto asked, trying to smile but it wasn’t reaching his eyes.

“No,” I said.  “Karin and Sai were just leaving.”

“We were?” Sai asked, frowning.

“You were,” I said, giving him a look.

“We were,” Karin agreed, grabbing the bottle from Sai and heading towards the door.

Sai got up and followed.  “Not cool, Best Friend.  Bros before hos,” he said, shaking his head as he left.

The door in the entryway closed and suddenly there was silence.

“Am I… the ho?” Naruto asked, scratching his chin.

I shrugged, trying to be mysterious.

Naruto laughed softly.  “Sasuke, you’re a mess.”

“What?!” I cried, feeling offended.

“Here, I brought you a housewarming present,” he said, untucking the houseplant from under his arm and setting it in the middle of the coffee table I was sitting at.

“I’m not staying,” I told him.

“I thought you might say that, so I thought a little incentive might help change your mind,” he said, staring at the plant as he sat down across from me.

“You think I’m going to stay for a fucking plant?” I scoffed.

He had a very self-deprecating smile, his eyes still not meeting mine.

“I’m sorry about Sai,” I blurted out.

“…what about him?” Naruto asking, looking confused.

“He keeps saying he’s my best friend… and well, he is my best friend, but I don’t tell him that and I don’t encourage him in his behaviors,” I explained.

“It’s fine,” he said.

That gave me pause.  “It’s fine?!” I demanded.

Naruto looked from side-to-side, his brows pushing up in confusion.  “Yes?”

“So you don’t even care?” I growled, picking up my glass and trying to down the remaining contents, but there was nothing left.

“Do you want us to fight over the title?” he asked.

“Yes!” I snapped, slamming the glass back on the table.  It wobbled and tipped over again.

“I’m happy that you have strong bonds with other people,” he said with a shrug.

“So it’s just fine if Sai tells everyone he’s my best friend?” I asked incredulously.  “You stalked me halfway around the world screaming about how we were best friends, and now it’s just cool if someone else takes your place?!”

“Is he taking my place?”

I looked up from my failed attempts to upright my glass again.  “Maybe he should.”

“That’s hurtful,” he said quietly.

“Is it?” I asked.  “This from the guy who couldn’t admit he wanted to fuck me and just kept yelling about how we were friends so he could stay in the closet.”

“You are very drunk,” he said, shaking his head.

“I’m not!” I yelled.

Naruto was almost smiling now.  “Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”

“I want to talk now,” I said, glaring him into submission.

“Lov- Sasuke, you are… very drunk.”

“I heard you the first ten times,” I said irritably.  “I’m not that drunk, I just haven’t had alcohol in a long time, so my body is taking longer than usual to… you know, so I seem drunk, but I’m not really, okay?”

“You are really cute while simultaneously being so obnoxious right now,” he marveled.

“You think I’m cute?” I asked, feeling a little happy.

He bit his lip, full-on smiling now.  “Yes, definitely.”

“So… you like me…?”

“Of course,” he said.

“Oh, good,” I said.  “I thought you didn’t like me anymore and that you found some Suna bimbo to have your babies.”

He covered his mouth with his hand.  “Nope, have not found a Suna bimbo to have my babies.”

“Are you looking for one?” I asked, narrowing my eyes suspiciously.

“No, you are the only bimbo I need,” he said firmly.

“Good,” I said.

“Good,” he agreed.

I got distracted by how soft the carpet was, running my fingers through it and petting it like a dog.  Then my head shot up.  “Did you call me a bimbo?!”

“No, definitely not,” he assured me.

“Oh, okay.”

“Can I get you some water?” he asked.

I realized I was thirsty and nodded.

He walked over to the kitchen and poured two glasses, tucking one under his arm and carrying the other in his hand.  He placed one in front of me and then sat back across from me.

I picked up the glass and started drinking, not putting it down until I’d finished it all.

“You need more?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“You want to get ready for bed?”

I turned on the old Uchiha charm.  “Are you coming with me?”

“No, but I’ll help you get ready,” he said, seeming amused and fond at the same time.

I frowned.  “You don’t like me.”

“I like you a lot.”

“But you don’t want to flirt with me.”

“I think we’ve been flirting a lot for two people who need to have a conversation about their relationship status,” he said.

That was a lot of words.  “I want you to come to bed with me.”

“Honey, you’re drunk,” he said, shaking his head.  He was smiling, but he seemed sad, too.

“So?” I said.  I guess I had to finally admit that maybe, just maybe I was a little drunk.

“So we need to talk when you’re sober.”

“Or you could just get drunk, too.”

“No, that’s not a good idea,” he said, shaking his head.

“I think it’s a very good idea,” I informed him, putting a little sexiness in my voice.  There’s no way he could resist all this Uchiha.

Naruto slid his glass over to me.

I looked at it, then picked it up and drank.  Why was I so thirsty?

“Let’s get ready for bed,” he said, standing up.

Was I winning?  Were my master seduction techniques working?

Naruto went into the bathroom, so I stumbled after him.  He put toothpaste and water on my toothbrush and handed it to me.

I took it and started brushing.  I could feel my body wobbling.

Naruto slid his arm around me.

It felt very nice.  I leaned into it, lazily moving the toothbrush around in my mouth.

He waited patiently, then suggested that I spit out the toothpaste.

I missed the sink and it landed on the floor.

Naruto threw a towel on it and took my toothbrush, rinsing it and replacing it in its cup before moving me out of the bathroom.  He led me down the hall to my bedroom, flipping on the light.

I blinked.

“Where are your clothes?” he asked.

“I didn’t unpack yet,” I told him.  “They’re somewhere,” I added, gesturing my hand around vaguely.

“Sit,” he said, pushing my butt onto the bed.

“Sit?” I asked, falling onto my back and staring up at him with a come-hither stare.

He was ignoring my seductiveness, looking for my clothes.  He found something and tossed it to me.

I was pouting as I undid my belt and slipped my robe off of my shoulders.

Naruto had his back to me.

I had to look pretty fucking good and he wasn’t even looking at me.  I threw my belt at his head.

“You’re a confusing drunk,” he commented, letting the belt stay hanging over his shoulder

“I’m not being confusing at all!” I snipped.

Naruto shrugged.

I pulled the t-shirt he’d given me over my head and tried to kick off my pants.  It took longer than expected, and finally Naruto came over and helped get them over my feet.  “It’s cold,” I informed him.

“Well, you’re not wearing any pants,” he pointed out.

I frowned, pulling on the sleep pants he’d given me.  “Still cold.”

“Then get under the covers,” he suggested, going to dig through my things again until he produced a sweatshirt and brought it over to me.

I was huddled in my blanket, glaring at him.

He held the sweatshirt out to me.

I begrudgingly climbed out of the warmth and pulled it over my head before quickly burrowing back in.

Naruto sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping towards him.

I stared at him.

“You okay?” he asked quietly.

“Fine,” I said sharply.

He waited.  “Did you drink too much?”

“…yes.”

His look softened.  “Do you think you’re gonna be sick?”

“No,” I said, then reassessed.  “Probably not.”

“I can stay,” he offered hesitantly.  “Until you fall asleep.”

I nodded my head pathetically, feeling like crying.  Alcohol was evil and I was never drinking again.  What was this torrent of ridiculous emotions?  I hoped I passed out immediately to avoid further embarrassment, closing my eyes tightly in preparation of doing so.

Naruto’s fingers brushed through my hair.

It gave me a nice shiver.

He stroked my hair in a gentle, even rhythm.  “Good night, Sasuke.”

“Good night,” I mumbled, eyes still closed.

His touch was so soothing, and I drifted right off to sleep.

When I woke up, there was light streaming through my window.  Light was a terrible thing.  I squinted into it, groaning.  My head hurt.

It was weird having the freedom to wake up with a hangover and not be worried that an enemy combatant might find you and take advantage of your weakened state.  Then again, who needed enemy combatants with friends like mine?

“Uchiha!  Are you alive?!”

I threw the door open, glowering at Sai.  “You’re loud.”

“Yes, well I wanted to make sure that you could hear me through the throbbing in your head.”

I growled in response, going into the living room and lying on the couch, my arm tossed over my eyes.

Sai started banging around in my kitchen.

I growled more loudly.

“Hey, your lover left you a note,” Sai announced cheerfully.  “And a pot of coffee.”

“Coffee?” I said, because that sounded really good to my hungover ass.  “Don’t read that-” I started to say, but of course it was already too late.

“‘Sas’, here’s something to help your hangover,’” Sai read.  “‘I have meetings all day, but I’ll come by tonight if that’s okay.  Heart, Naruto.’”

“He signed it with a heart?” I asked, scrunching up my nose.

“He did,” he assured me.  “He is definitely gay for you.”

I kind of wanted to see the note and just stare at the heart.  “Bring me the coffee,” I said instead.

“Am I your manservant?” he asked.

“You’re making me breakfast, aren’t you?” I asked.  I could smell the eggs sizzling on the stove.

“Yes, but that is part of my job as your second-in-command,” he said.

“You ranked yourself?”

“It’s not like Karin and Sakura contribute anything meaningful to our group.”

I laughed at that, which hurt my head.  The thing was, Sakura could beat the shit out of both of us, and Karin was the only one who could heal us if Sakura was mad.  But it was always fun to discount them as human beings because they were female.  “I thought Karin was contributing,” I said, making a lewd gesture.

Sai sensed what I was doing and peered out of the kitchen.  “You seem very interested in heterosexual intercourse for a gay man.”

“So it is intercourse?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.

“Not yet,” Sai said cheerfully.  “I’m still experimenting.”

“Never mind, I don’t want to know,” I said.  The word ‘experimenting’ renewed the turmoil in my stomach.

“I feel like girl lips and boy lips are physically the same, and yet for some reason that I cannot put my finger on, they feel different,” Sai hummed as he continued to cook.

“Gross,” I said.  “So still no decision on which you prefer?”

“Mm, maybe I like both,” he said.  “I don’t know.”

“Well, I was worried that I don’t like sex but the second I was drunk I was throwing myself at Naruto again,” I said tiredly.

Sai laughed at that.

I growled.

“You just want him to spoil you,” he said.

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked, but I knew perfectly well what it meant and he was one hundred percent correct.

Sai came into the room with two mugs of coffee.  “The only time you let yourself be even a little vulnerable is when you’re drunk,” he said, handing one mug to me.  “Or when you’re terribly maimed and injured,” he added.

I took the mug with a scowl.

“I think if you just told Naruto what you wanted you would save yourself a lot of stress,” he continued, retreating back to the kitchen.

“What if I don’t know what I want?” I complained as I sipped at the coffee.

“You don’t have to know everything that you want,” he said.  “But you know some of what you want.  You can start at the most basic ‘I want us to still be boyfriends’, and go from there.”

I sighed loudly.  Why was Sai my therapist?  “When would those words ever come out of my mouth?”

“Exactly!” he said.  I heard plates clattering, and then he appeared with the eggs and toast he’d made.  “Eat,” he said.

I did as I was told, surprisingly hungry for someone who had thought about throwing up everything in their body several times over the last few hours.

Sai watched me eat while carefully pushing food past his lips, his eyes never leaving me.

I was used to him being a creep and ignored him until I was finished eating.  “Thanks,” I said, nodding towards my empty plate.

“We’ll need to figure out what we’re doing next,” he said, eyes gazing into mine.

I didn’t want to think about what was next.  “What do you want to do?”

He looked thoughtful.  “I’m… not sure.  I’d like to do something good, though.  Help some of the people who are suffering.”

“Okay, boy scout,” I muttered.  Why was I surrounded by such good people?  At least Sai was a former assassin with a higher body count than mine.  “Back to Water?  Or maybe to the Land of Earth and you can deal with the hunger crisis while I deal with the potentially fake Tsuchikage?”

“Maybe,” Sai agreed.  “We’ll see which way the wind blows.”

“We’ll see which way the wind blows,” I echoed.

#narusasu #isola starting over

[xoxoendohwrites]

“Just how much did you drink before coming down here??” “Sakura,” Kakashi murmured darkly, trailing his hands down her thighs as he knelt at her feet, “I’m still thirsty.”

Happy Swalloween, KakaSaku lovers! 👻🖤🎃 This is my first time contributing to the KS Fandom, though I’ve been meaning to ever since @tipsyraconteur‘s J’accuse! sucked me back in. This lovely little event—@thisisswalloween—was the perfect push, so thank you to the hosts. Hope ya'll enjoy these 5,119 unedited words of fluffy, teasing, dirty, wine-influenced, ninja-verse KS smut. 

Summary: Kakashi notices that his wife could use a little 'de-stressing' before hosting the hospital's first Halloween Benefit Gala. Good thing he has the perfect cure to what ails Konoha's new Chief of Surgery….

Read on FF.net | AO3

Jukebox: Ready for a blast from the past? ‘Cause I sure as hell wasn’t when these two gems got stuck in my head at a 🎃 party over the weekend—“Candyman” by Christina Aguilera + “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry. Lawdy, those songs came out when I was in middle school!

"Hey, quit it!" Sakura scolded, slapping the thieving hand away from the overflowing bowl. "Those are for the children, you overgrown twelve-year-old!"

Grinning like an idiot beneath his mask, Kakashi sidestepped the slap she'd aimed for the back of his head and held up his prize. Its vacuum-sealed cellophane glittered under the fluorescent lights as his other hand rose to tear it open.

Her green glare intensified, but she couldn't keep the corners of her mouth from rising with her favorite petname for the hokage: "Don't even think about it, old man. Not tonight!"

Before she could sling another insult or fist his way, he had two fingers tucked in his mask, lazily sliding along the seam. Clearly ready to take his pilfering to the next level.

Sakura stilled her eyes as they threatened to roll, instead shaking her head. "I mean it, Kakashi—not tonight!" She jabbed an accusing finger in his direction, switching the digit threateningly with each word: "Put. It. Back."

Utterly undeterred by her reprimands, Kakashi only escalated his daring heist:

He pried his mask up with those long, deadly fingers and started the gradual descent. A master of prolonging his ‘grand reveal,’ Kakashi slowly peeled it low enough to display the end of his scar, followed by his high cheekbones, that cocky grin of his, …and finally that little beauty mark—the moneymakers. Oh, but he didn't stop there. A tomcat with his canary, he smirked and began twirling the little white stick between his talented fingers, flipping his stolen goods around like one of his damned kunai.

Showoff, she thought, flattening the grin that threatened to surface at his favorite stupid party trick…and the sight of his striking face. Even now, every single time he shed that mask, she had to stop herself from melting to the floor. Instead, her hands—the ones capable of the most delicate, intricate procedures—met and cracked her knuckles, all menace. She just couldn't help herself. "Give it here, Hatake."

"Make me, Hatake," he quipped, sounding every bit the twelve-year-old.

But damn if he didn't look every inch the handsome man…. She bristled.

"Listen," Sakura warned, serious again, "you know I don't have time for your antics right now." She'd worked so hard to make this event a success, and there was still so much left to finish! Plus, neither of them were dressed! Her work outfit, sleek as it was, certainly didn't meet black-tie standards, ...and Kakashi didn’t even have his jonin vest on. "Come on, Benjamin Button! Put that back and go pretend you're interested in the hospital's finances or something."

"Make me," he echoed, fingers dancing dangerously over the perforated edge of the wrapper, crooked smirk widening to expose the gleam of a single canine.

Sakura huffed in exasperation. Kakashi had a playful streak in him—and it ran deep—but her husband was being far more obnoxious than usual tonight! Her hand landed on her hip in preparation to deliver one of her signature "You're the hokage, now act like it" speeches, but as she opened her mouth, …he sniggered.

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders theatrically and tsk-ed…at her. He nearly sang out his next taunt, "That tired tactic won't work, Sakuraaa!"

Oh, he knew just how to push her buttons.

Dammit, am I really that predictable?? She twisted the heel of her stiletto into the floor with a frustrated flush but shot a glance at the clock.

For she'd learned his pressure points just as well….

Fine, Kakashi. You asked for it….

A heartbeat later, her features and posture had softened drastically, and she slinked toward him. "You mean you'd really steal candy"—she widened her eyes and covered her heart—"…from sick children??" She gave him a scandalized gasp and clutched at her blouse, …covertly loosening a fastening or two. "Oh, Hokage-sama, I just can't believe my eyes!" She swooned for him, medical coat swishing dramatically behind her.

Sporting an obvious smirk and a devious twinkle in his eyes, he was visibly pleased to have roped her into his little game and distracted her from her duties. Yet his response came in a masterful deadpan: "Why else would I be listed in so many Bingo Books?" With that, Kakashi sank his teeth into the plastic, tore it off with a savage zeal only he could get away with, …and wrapped his lips around the bright red lollipop.

As much as she wanted to rip his smug little head off, …Sakura couldn't resist this idiot, her idiot, and he knew it. Her eyes closed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, but she didn't contain her smile. It would have been a pointless effort when he was trying so hard to get in her pants.

"Mmm…" he hummed loudly, obviously wanting her eyes back on him as his tongue went to town on the lolli behind his lips. "Oooh… Oh, Sakura! It's my favorite. You know how much I love the taste of…" he trailed off breathlessly, drawing out her torment.

Dammit. Don't say it. Don't you dare say it! she warned silently.

He smacked his lips for a sinful little pop around, "…Cherry."

Of fucking course he grabbed a cherry one! Sakura groaned inwardly, blushing redder than the candy receiving Kakashi's most…painstaking…attention. She shook her head, trying to ignore the heat flaring in her stomach. Somehow, he managed to sound so damn cheeky—pornographic, even!—despite the globe of sugar stuffed in his stupid chipmunk cheek, clinking like glass against his teeth with every stupid word. How the hell was this juvenile display turning her on—how did he always?!

She bit down on her lip.

Because when the hokage wasn't using that sharp tongue of his to taunt her with perfect deadpan sarcasm or just straight stupid little jibes, …he was using it to thoroughly tease the length of her body. …To powerful effect. She could feel the flush creeping down her neck at the thought, teeth sinking further as she considered her options.

Perhaps bribery would shut him up.

Decided on a new strategy, Sakura sauntered over, heels clicking with every sway of her hips. She pushed him down into a nearby swivel chair. Leaning in close to accentuate her mysteriously undone buttons and the dark lace their absence revealed, raking her crimson nails over his shoulder, she yanked the lollipop out of his mouth. Green eyes held grey as she gave it a long, languid lick; smirking as his gaze somehow darkened further, as his hands landed on her waist to urge her closer. But as the sweet cherry hit her taste buds, she noticed there was something a bit odd about the flavor. She gave the sucker a good suck, then gasped, actually a bit scandalized this time: There was something decidedly not kid-friendly lingering on the candy. "You!" she accused, brandishing the lollipop at him. "Did you… Did you actually pregame my fundraiser?"

"Did you actually," he asked so sweetly, so innocently, …so mockingly, "expect me to spend my evening in a tux, judge a kid's costume contest, and then verbally pickpocket Konoha's assorted lords and ladies, …all while sober?"

Dammit, he’s got me there. Sakura rubbed the irritation from her face, dragging her hand a little too forcefully down her cheek. It wasn't like she'd been planning on downing two flutes of champagne the second she approved the setup or anything…. And he'd actually shown up early—no Icha Icha in sight! Hell, he probably would have strolled in two hours late with his face buried in the book if he hadn't been painfully aware of just how important this event was to her….

"It's not just a costume contest, it's to show the donors all the children we saved in the last year—to show them exactly why they should fork over the dough for the new wing!" She sighed and shook her head, getting her head back in the game. "Listen…," she whispered on his ear, "behave like an adult for the rest of the evening, and I'll make it…"—she paused for dramatic effect, letting him soak up her sultry, breathless tone—"worth your while." She treated the lolli to a hearty, wet suck and released it with her own devilish little pop. "'Kay?"

His hands tightened around her waist. "Oh, now we're talking, Doctor," he growled, eyes crinkling with mirth.

Sakura grinned around the candy. He'd taken the bait, and she could finally go back to work.

"But," he started, his signature roguishness back in full force, "I'm afraid the answer is still a 'nope.'"

"Kaka—!"

"I think I'd rather behave… Oh, how did you put it?" Kakashi feigned confusion, raising his hand to tap thoughtfully on his sugary lips, …before turning them up an evil smile. "'Like an adult' right now, thanks."

All at once, he stood, hauled her by the ass to him, and buried his face in her hair, trailing wet kisses down her neck.

She let out trill of exasperation and slapped him away. "Kakashi, I'm serious!" she fumed, the lollipop stick bobbing rather un-seriously from her mouth.

He snorted. His heart beat solely to torment this woman he adored so much...but only when she truly needed some tormenting.

Sakura poked his chest, hard enough to both stop that heart of his and send him and his boots screeching backwards on the polished linoleum. "Enough already, I—!"

The distinct whirl of teleportation cut off her complaint.

"Oh, come on!" she growled around the sweet as they reappeared in her dim office, nearly stamping her feet. "What the hell are you—?!"

"Sakura." He silenced her with a finger to her sticky lips, his voice suddenly stern, suddenly sounding very much like a kage's. "You need to take a breath."

He pressed a little harder when her lips parted, clinking the lollipop against her clenched teeth.

Before she could object further, he’d hoisted her up on the massive Chief of Surgery's desk, smearing a line of pink sweetness down the back of her thigh, and planted his hands firmly on either side of her. He leaned down close, a few displaced files fluttering softly in the background….

Sakura shot daggers at him, pouting and grumbling around the lolli, crossing both sets of limbs, …unintentionally making her dress ride up even higher.

Part of him—the part that lived to relentlessly tease his wife—longed to point out just how much the maturity tables had turned, ...but he allowed himself only a quick elevation of the lips: He had goals, and time was never on his side.

"Show me the moronic few who are whispering about our marriage getting you ahead, and I'll staple your fucking novel of resume to their foreheads."

Sakura took in a sharp breath, lolli lolling. She hadn't even told him about the gossip.

"You're young, but you earned this promotion. And now you're going to take a few minutes to enjoy it…." He pressed in closer when she started, murmuring, "Sorry, Chief. Hokage's orders."

She bit her lip but stayed put. Perhaps he had a point, perhaps a quick makeout might be just what the doctor ordered….

But Kakashi had something a bit sweeter in mind.

Dark eyes boring so closely into hers, he grazed the flats of his nails all the way up, then back down her bare thighs, crossed so intractably tight; slow and deliberate torture, breathing hot and humid on her cheeks. He inched higher with every repetition, gradually increased the weight of his touch …until he felt her skin prickle under his, until her knees shook beneath his hands, until true desire dilated her eyes, until she sucked hard on the lollipop, until her candy-red mouth parted for a gasp, until her jaws crunched through half of that sugar crystal in retaliation, …until she finally—stubbornly—flung her limbs apart and her nails etched her need into the desk. Only then did he accept her reluctant invitation and press fully into her, wandering hands kneading the white flesh at her spread hips, the beginnings of her ass, …just beneath the lace band of her panties.

Every little thing she did sent his blood surging, rewired his circulatory system. He kissed sporadically up her neck, delighting in the rush of respiration he felt beneath his lips, and skimmed over her jawline. One hand crawled out from her dress and slid casually over her taut stomach and heaving breasts, finally reaching her neck as his lips met her chin. He ghosted upward another inch and took her candy-coated bottom lip between his teeth. He gave it a lingering lick before he carefully, thoroughly sucked the remaining sugar off, …finally releasing it with another 'Mmmm…'.

Her body reacted of its own accord, sounding a saccharine moan, splayed arms straining, jutting her spread hips into his.

Yet Kakashi retreated, holding her steady by the chin. He pressed his forehead to hers, breathing her in as he stared her down. "Do you trust me not to jeopardize your night?"

She breathed a yes.

"Then let me do this for you, baby."

She nodded infinitesimally against him and waited, anticipation coiling up her legs like hot vines.

Kakashi gave her a moment to pout and knit her brows, just a moment, before he grasped the cherry confection by the stem. Her mouth opened slightly, curiously. Leaning back just enough to take in the view, he gave the ball of sugar a twirl against her candy-dyed tongue, then carefully withdrew it from her sweet mouth. He dragged it over her bottom lip, methodically smearing the full crescent sticky-sweet. Her mouth and eyes widened at the sensation. She took in a ragged breath as Kakashi traced the globe over the arc of her cupid's bow, …as he meticulously painted her the perfect cherry kiss.

He bent back, and Sakura gazed up at him, verdant eyes so far from innocent, exhilaration and sweet longing written on her every feature. Moving just as slowly, just as deliberately, she pursed her lips together with another inviting little pop.

And he could take no more. Two hot breaths and one wicked grin later, and he replaced her lost lolli with his tongue.

Sakura snapped upward in an arc—one hand tangling roughly into his hair, the other twisting in the jonin shirt he insisted on wearing even as hokage—and demanded everything he could offer in a kiss. She yanked him down on top of her, showering her office floor in paperwork as his hands slapped against the lacquered wood with the force of his collapse. Desperate for any modicum of relief—just some damn friction!—she wound her legs around him, swallowing then overpowering his groans as he ground her into the desk. They spiraled into a mess of teeth and tongues and sweet cherry sugar, determined to savor every last trace of candy, groping blindly for zippers and buttons in the hunt for more heated skin.

Yet when a heavy thud interrupted their wild movements, both their eyes drawn to the source. The culprit was an ornate little desk clock; it was knocked on its side but still ticked away the seconds….

The concept of time hit them both like a bucket of ice water.

Shirtless and panting, Kakashi's hand stilled on his belt buckle. Damn it, what was he doing? His pants were staying on, this was her night.

Sakura, however, stiffened and disentangled herself from him, scooting back on the desk and opening her mouth for a frantic rebuttal: "Shit, the kids! We have to get changed and get back out there before they arrive!" She jolted upright and took him with her, her disheveled white-coat somehow clinging to one shoulder, the side zip of her dress revealing a gaping hole of skin.

Kakashi glanced at the sideways clock one more time. "We still have over half an hour," he drawled before hungrily dragging her back to him by the knees. Though he didn't have the time to tease her as ruthlessly as he would have liked, his stint behind the hokage desk had taught him just a thing or two about prioritizing…. "That's plenty for a little stress relief…with just enough left to get us party-ready." He wiggled his eyebrows, goading.

Yet the sincere distress on her flushed face stopped him in his tracks. That look was why he'd kidnapped her in the first place.

"I know this is your first big project as Chief, I know how important it is to show the board what you can do," Kakashi conceded, right hand skimming over her thigh, left cupping her rosy cheek. He stroked her skin as he considered his options: They could talk through her stress, …or he could obliterate it entirely with multiple orgasms. A wolfish grin landed on his face. His wife deserved the best of both worlds.

"I know this is big. But you've worked so hard for months, you've planned everything to…"—he paused to brazenly palm her sodden panties, breathing his next word in reverence—"…perfection." He groaned as her desire dampened his glove, circling her clit through the lace, thumb outlining her swollen bottom lip.

Sakura sucked it into her mouth, using his digit to stifle her own salacious little noise.

That was almost too much. "You…you have the best people on your team, you've delegated, you've—oh, fuck." He couldn't help but cut himself off. He'd slipped his hand fully into her panties, and the sensation of his fingers sliding so effortlessly against her wet folds...

She raked her teeth against his thumb, both hands wrapped around his wrist for leverage.

"Dammit, Sakura…" His cock jumped against his zipper. She was nearly dripping for him. "You want me, don't you, sweetheart?"

She nodded around his finger, writhing against him, plunging her nails into his forearm, …digging the points of her heels into his ass to draw him closer.

"Soon, princess, soon…," he murmured, trying desperately to ignore the waves of longing crashing against her seaglass eyes, the ceaseless suction of her lips…; to recall his purpose, to fucking collect himself. "Listen, you've done everything to ensure tonight will be perfect. Now you just need to sit back and watch it all unfold. But you're just strung so damn…"—he finally slid a single finger into her, nearly losing it as her body gripped him, pulled him in—"tight…." He grunted from deep in his chest, low and guttural, teasing her with shallow strokes, just to the edge of his fingerless glove. "So. Fucking. Tight." With her little moans vibrating through his left hand and his right coated in her slick lust, his words turned into a nonsensical hum on her forehead, savoring every sound as he moved inside her.

It was getting harder and harder to keep to his gameplan, to keep his reactions in check when hers were just so…. Groaning on her seal, he dug deep and found the wherewithal to go on, …in a way: "Sakura, you'll have all those bigwig donors wrapped around your little…"—he added another, reveling in her whine of his name, the sudden gush of desire on his skin—"finger…. Dammit, you're going to drown me if you get any wetter…." He bit down on the inside of his cheek, yearning for something—anything—to keep his mind off the drumming ache in his veins.

"Kakashi, …please," she pleaded, her lips dragging over his fingertip with every breathy syllable. “More.”

Hearing her beg, feeling her needy words on his skin… That did not help his cause. He closed his eyes and stilled, ignoring her muffled cry of disappointment, her insistent writhing. He breathed in. He breathed out.

When he started again, his voice was strained, tight with dogged resolve: "They'll be putty in your hands. You just need to…"—he slid in his ring finger, rasping a gravelly fuuuck this time as she bucked into his touch, scraped her nails and teeth over his skin—“…loosen up"—he hissed his lewd joke as she clenched around his fingers, both breathing raggedly now, both rocking into the other—“a bit first….” His belt buckle grated over wrist, and he realized he’d been undulating against—with—the hand he had working between her thighs, his cock hard past painful, longing to fuck her outright….

She released his thumb with a wet, frustrated whimper of please! and dropped her hands from his arm. One dove inside her dress, the other went to join his teasing fingers, trying to urge him deeper, to slide behind his wrist and stroke her clit—desperate to end the dizzying, rise-and-fall endless loop he had her on.

As he watched her fondle her breasts, as he denied her, ...Kakashi could feel his cockhead weeping for his wife. Fuck if he couldn’t do this all day… But that wasn’t an option. By some miracle, he regained his train of thought, words coming out thick: "Let me take care of you."

"God, yes! Just stop teasing me!"

Kakashi shook his head, a seductive taunt even in his refusal. He would, …but not yet. Instead, he moved slowly, making sure she took in his every movement:

Finally letting his wife’s fingers go where they pleased, Kakashi retracted both hands from her. He brought the right to his lips, not yet making contact, and let the familiar, heady scent of her desire overwhelm his senses; it made his mouth water, it clamped his free hand around the edge of the desk. Temptation parted his lips, and he slid his hand against his tongue; beginning with his slick, cotton-covered palm and ending with the tip of his wettest finger—eyes on hers all the while. He shuddered at her taste, muttering something like 'Fuck lollipops…', and sank a canine into the elastic fabric at his wrist.

Sakura was breathing hard and heavy with his display.

Only Hatake fucking Kakashi could turn taking off a single glove into a damn striptease: his teeth tugged at the fingerless thing, sliding it off inch by lazy inch, …finger by long finger. And Sakura was taking it all in, rapt as she pulled at a pebbled nipple, as she stoked the flames building behind her clit, stroke by fervent stroke…. She whined and spread her legs wider, stilettos clicking against the desk, dress already hiked up miles past indecent. Something flickered through her sight, something started to flare.

Because only Hatake fucking Kakashi could make her forget the suffocating, now-or-never weight of raking in enough cash to build the much-needed Pediatrics Wing—her first true project as Chief, her flagship, her baby, her dream ever since the war ended….

He finally dragged the last centimeter of glove off the length of his middle finger, and flung it away with a wink. Holding her eye, he gave his that finger one last lick. "Good to the last drop, sweetheart…."

Heat nearly consumed her, …nearly. He was going to kill her. Was he trying to kill her?? Her own touch had her burning up, but it wasn’t enough.

"Dammit, Kakashi! …Please!" She clamped her eyes shut in frustration and slapped both hands—one glistening, one dry—down on the desk.

He grinned. He had her right where he wanted her. But between the taste of her and his name on her lips, …he knew he had to keep his hands to himself for this next part. If he didn't, he'd never be able say what he needed to say. He drew in another steadying breath of air.

"Look at me, Sakura," he said softly, waiting until she did as he instructed. "You're ready for this. You've earned this. You helped revolutionize this hospital and transform it into the most sought-after in the great villages! You were the youngest, most effective Chief of Neuro Konoha has ever seen, and now…!" He groaned, more from the swelling in his chest than in his pants. "Sweetheart, just look at you: You're the youngest Chief of Surgery…probably anywhere, probably ever? Sakura, you amaze me."

Kakashi so rarely spoke like this, and it took her breath away. A different sort of heat welled up in her, soft and warm. He sounds just like he did when he proposed…. Sakura was suddenly keenly aware of her pulse, the pounding of her heart.

Kakashi could tell his peptalk was working. He could see her muscles loosen; he could sense her becoming more herself, blooming at honesty in his words. Encouraged, he continued: "Not to mention that you were trained and hand-selected by the best medical nin in the world, and then you surpassed even Lad—"

"So help me, Kakashi…!" Sakura cut him off with a breathless laugh. "If you say another woman's name—even my shishou's—while you've got me like this…!" She threw her arms out over the disaster that had once been her perfectly organized desk, then gestured at the bulge he was surreptitiously grinding against her leg.

Her husband only grinned lazily, innocently, …just waiting for it to hit her.

Realization and fresh indignation dawned on Sakura, but humor won out: "Poor thing…," she cooed, frowning with faux sympathy. "You must really believe I've got some student-teacher kink, huh?" She flicked his ear, tone hardening: "Now quit imagining a threeway, you old perv, and go back to my peptalk! It was working until you ruined it…."

"Fine, fine. I'll keep my fantasies to myself." He gave a hearty chuckle and an impish wiggle of his brows. "But remind me: who here has punched a demigod-alien-witch in the face?"

Sakura let out a belly laugh at that, arms barely keeping her sitting up. Her obnoxious, pervy old man…! She felt like she'd just shaken off a layer of rust in that fit of laughter. She felt truly light for the first time since the mad countdown to the gala started…two weeks ago. "J-just how much did you drink before coming down here?" she gasped through giggles.

"Sakura," he murmured darkly, running his hands down her thighs as he knelt at her dangling feet, "I'm still thirsty."

Her jaw fell with another moan of his name, levity forgotten. She felt his words in a deep twist of lust and fell back on the desk with a leaden thud, …but she glanced at the toppled clock.

He hauled her to the edge of the desk. "Let me do this for you, baby," he implored once more, kissing the inside of her knee, lips gliding upward with every word, "I'll make it quick this time, I promise."

Once Sakura nodded, he wasted no more time. He’d strung this out long enough. For both of them.

He yanked her panties down, now stretched flimsy and useless, and draped her milky legs around his shoulders. Exploiting his wife’s considerable flexibility, he looped his arms under her thighs and spread her wide for every one of his greedy senses to devour. He heard her whimper with his hot breath on her, his mouth so close to where she needed it. Groaning as the points of her heels scratched into his skin, as her fingers fisted his in hair, he bypassed any semblance of teasing and finally got the taste he'd sought after so fervently, sealing his lips to her little pearl.

Sakura arched into him like the black cats of the season, mewling with claws tangled in silver hair—still so close from his…peptalk. "Yes, 'Kashi, yes," she encouraged, breathless.

It was music to his ears as she quivered beneath him, as he gently lapped and sucked at her little bud. With the sounds of his own pleasure rumbling into her bundle of nerves, he had her stretched taut, ready to spring. Just one little push…

"I need you inside me again, please—fuck!"

He did as she commanded, and with just a slip of his fingers, he had her crumbling in his arms, stroking that one little spot in time with his tongue on her clit.

“Mmnnnh…! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t—!”

She released his hair the second before her every neuron went haywire, before every muscle in her body convulsed, and mercifully unleashed her death-grip on the rim of the desk instead.

“Kakashi!”

His shoulder blades, however, were not spared the wrath of her heels as her orgasm shook through her limbs. Yet the sting only compounded his sensation overload, bathing him in the intoxication of giving. He held her thrashing hips down, lightening the pressure of his wet caresses but not stopping until he’d given all she could take, until he’d had every shuddering breath from her lungs, until she'd ridden out every second of her high….

Finally, Sakura sank back onto the desk, utterly robbed of breath, bones, and words.

Finally, Kakashi allowed himself a shaky inhale of his own, the beautiful blend of extreme satisfaction…and his own untended need whorling inside him. He licked his lips. Because he wasn’t done—far from it: He loved having her like this, knowing he could bring her to edge over and over; basking in the scent, the taste of her need for him….

And now that he'd given his wife a little relief after all his torture, he decided he would savor her in the style he preferred: leisurely, unhurried, …self-indulgent. He reclaimed his hand—Sakura’s sated sigh jolting all the way through him, reveling in her shine on his fingers—and opened her for his mouth again. He roamed sedately over her clit and across her rosebud folds; each movement of his tongue on her body, each sound she made singing and singeing through him…. At last, he came to her entrance, lapping up her desire from the inside, drinking her in like it was the first time.

He could feel her winding up again, her heels pressing harder into his shoulders, her pants turning into gasps, the sting in his roots as she spun silver, …the subsequent pounding in his cock. Rumbling with anticipation, he let his thumb drag over her clit once, twice, …and she was gone, snapping like a bow string. And he was ready for her, greedily swallowing her pleasure as she pulsed around his tongue, whining his name like it was the only word she knew.

He’d never know a more beautiful sound.

Once she stilled, he came up for air and rested his head on her quivering thigh, panting with her as she came down, watching her flushed breasts rise and fall. He caught his breath far before she did and trailed his wet lips along both her thighs, stroking a hand over her rumpled dress as her body became reacquainted with gravity, knowing she'd be hypersensitive after her second. When her breathing ultimately evened out, he unwrapped her legs from his neck with a final kiss before feeling around for some discarded article of clothing to dry his face.

Not his mask, …preferably.

"Ready to go fund that new hospital wing, princess?" he called out, patting his chin with his jonin-issue shirt, …silently ordering his cock to settle down. He’d gotten the gratification he needed, the rest would keep ‘til later.

"Almost," she murmured to the lamp by her face. "But first…," her voice grew louder as she lifted her head, "get your ass up here, Hatake."

His eyebrow quirked in question, but he only dabbed at his chin with dark cotton, back to using her thigh as pillow.

She sat up straight, every exposed inch of her skin dewy and flushed to compliment the color of her mussed sex-hair. "I said, get up here," she smirked, crooking a finger at him, nudging him with a heel. "I'm not going to let the hokage walk around my gala with a massive tent in his tuxedo."

Kakashi only shrugged from between her legs and went back to circling a finger around her clit, rather indifferent to the prospect of sporting a hard-on in front of the Land of Fire’s upper crust. Besides, his body would cooperate soon enough.

Sakura slapped the sole remaining folder off the huge desk. "See? Now there's plenty of room for two…." She smiled a satisfied, feline grin, purring her indecent invitation, "Maybe even…sixty-nine?"

Dammit. She sounded just like her husband….

As much as a third and final peak appealed to her, she also knew this would be the quickest way to gain her husband’s acquiescence.

Kakashi grinned wide, undaunted by the recharged pulsing in his cock, and drawled his reply, "We've only got fifteen minutes before this thing starts. Shouldn't you be getting dressed?" He nuzzled her leg and waggled a gloveless finger at her, ever teasing.

But his tongue flicked out to lick his lips, and Sakura knew she had him.

"And you think they wouldn't wait another five for the Hokage and the Chief?”

Evidently, his treatment for stress had worked even better than he'd hoped. He could have leapt into the air and clicked his heels together.

“After all, you had some very…”—eyes half lidded and fully satisfied, Sakura pretended to consider her words—“important business to take care of. Besides…" It was her turn for twinkling eyes and ravenous, knowing smiles. "Your wife wants a little taste of you." She flipped up on the desk, stealing his leg-pillow, arched her back, and shimmied out of her once-professional dress, all sex-kitten grace. She posed seductively for him, her head casually propped up on twined fingers, ankles crossed, heels and ass pointed toward the ceiling.

Her husband didn't hold back his leering eye-fuck. All she had on was her afterglow and a sheer black bra, her rosy hair all perfectly askew….

Then Sakura patted the wide swath of desk, scarlet nails tapping lightly on the wood.

How could he deny her when she’d asked so sweetly? His boots, pants, and boxer briefs flew off in a fit of kage-speed, but, once naked, he slammed on the brakes. Surely he had a few more seconds of teasing left in him, just a few…. Smirking down at her, Kakashi swaggered back over to the desk: his broad shoulders leading, the scarred x on his chest contouring his movements; his thick cock jutting out from his rigid stomach, giving an appetizing little jump with each deliberate step; watching her sated expression turn hungry all over again.

Once he got within arm's reach, however, his wife snatched up his hand and had him pinned beneath her in perfect 69 form—all before he could utter a single word of sarcasm. She grinned at the little ooof that left his lungs, but that was it. She had neither the patience nor the time to give him a taste of his own medicine. Besides, there was only one taste on her mind, and it was just a lick away….

And fuck lollipops!

He hissed as her lips reached his cock, as she kissed away the liquid beads on his thick head, as her tongue darted out to catch a dribble…before tracing the trail back to the source.

“Oh, fuuuuck…” His voice came out strangled, his neck arched from the desk when her tongue slid along his slit, when her talented hand began to wring him slowly. “Yes, Sakura, yes…” He was not going to last long, but that notion was far from troubling.

As she moaned on his shaft in return, he realized he must have closed his eyes the second her maddening mouth touched him. He flung them open to see his wife’s ass bobbing tantalizingly overhead as her hot tongue slid along the ridge of his head a second before her lips closed around him with sweet suction. His hands shot up to drown out his desperate groan with a smack across each pert cheek. Her excited moan rattling straight to his balls. Lips spread wide, she sank lower on his cock. His breath caught in his chest when she let her teeth graze so lightly over his throbbing shaft, leaving a trail of searing sparks in her wake. Fuck, it hurt so good.

“Nnnnn… Just like that, just like that…”

Kakashi was having trouble remembering the point of a 69. Hell, he was having trouble noticing anything but the sweet, sweet relief he was finally receiving after being so hard for so long. It was all he could do just keeping his hips still. So he laid there grunting wordlessly like a caveman, mindlessly kneading his wife’s ass while she sucked him hard….

But a little stiletto poke to his ear quickly resolved that.

“Oh, fuck—sorry!”

He was many things but a pillowprincess was not one of them. He pulled her back by the hips so he could reach her, determined to send one more endorphin rush through her system, …to taste the aphrodisiac of her orgasm one last time before his own—his thirst for her truly unquenchable. She cried out around his cock as he locked his lips to her clit, sucking and humming and spiraling. Thrusting lightly into her mouth, his fingers gripped her toned ass like a lifeline, guiding her undulations as she rode his tongue.

They lasted all of three minutes: Sakura fell first, sending Kakashi plummeting over the edge of sanity as she cried out her gratification around his cock. Head thrashing to the side, he pounded a fist on the desk with a shattered groan of her name, muscles spasming to pump out his pleasure, …spurt after long spurt. Greedy as her husband, Sakura drank him in, throat and tongue welcoming the evidence of his blinding release. She held him gently in her mouth as he came down, hard abdominals still twitching beneath her.

Finally, she slid off him to her stomach, catching a lone trickle on her thumb, and sucked it off with a final little pop.

Kage and Chief laid there a moment, head to feet, sprawled and panting on that desk, …as wrecked as Sakura's freshly-inaugurated office.

“You do have your tux, right?” she asked his foot.

“Mmhhhm. Hanging with your dress on the door.”

"We really ought to move now," she muttered, unmoving.

"You first," Kakashi retorted lazily and gave her ass a slap of encouragement, not even bothering to open his eyes…or to remove his hand.

She laughed, yet she still didn't move. “I’m sure Shizune will cover for us. She’ll just say we’re on a call that couldn’t wait and have the staff bring in a round of champagne for the adults…. Maybe a sugar rush for the kids...” She yawned, ruffling a few disheveled, pink tendrils; she curled her arms under her face. “And if we’re only a few minutes late, no one should make a fuss….”

“Mmmhhm,” he agreed, caught between overwhelming pride in his good work…and the sleepy siren song of oxytocin.

With that, a sated, stress-free silence sank in the humid air….

Sakura broke the spell:

“Hey, ‘Kashi, can you undo the straps on my shoes?” she murmured to her elbow, wiggling the heel nearest his head. She hadn’t noticed before, but now she longed to stretch her toes and calves.

He rolled to his side, kissed both her ankles, and released the heels to thump to the floor.

But another noise piqued their shinobi ears.

It sounded like crackling, …like peeling? Like tape or some other adhesive slowly becoming…un-stuck? They pushed up in one motion, four suspicious eyes combing every wall, every corner….

It wasn’t her shoes—that didn’t add up—and they sensed no other presence. So… What. The. Hell?

A little vrrrp brought Kakashi's eyes upward just in time to witness it fall from the sky.

Still on her stomach, Sakura’s neck pivoted right as the long-forgotten thing landed…right next to her husband’s thoroughly satisfied cock.

For a moment, neither of them said a word, merely gaping.

Sakura’s incredulous whisper broke the silence: "Is that the…?" Realization dawned on her once again, and a strangled laugh erupted from her lungs; pure, lighthearted glee quickly overtook the confusion on her beautiful face. “Oh, my god! You-you just… You just threw it??” she wheezed, slapping a fist down on her desk as tears welled up in her jade eyes, …blurring her view of the half-eat cherry. “To the damned ceiling?!” She managed to drag herself to his chest to laugh directly in his unamused face. "Did you…did you plan this, too?!"

"If it had fallen there when I was still hard, maybe…,” Kakashi sulked, sticking his bottom lip out in a perfect, practiced pout while his evil wife cackled at and on him. “A man has his priorities, Sakura,” he sniffed, winding a reluctant arm around her heaving shoulders, …staring despondently at the tiny pink smudge on the acoustic tile overhead. “The trajectory of a piece of candy does not top the list when a man has his wife spread out on her desk like a page from Icha Icha!” He reached an even more reluctant hand down to pluck the sticky lolli off his silvery happy trail, grimacing as the molten candy goo tugged unpleasantly at still-sensitized area. “Owww…”

Sakura could no longer breathe properly, so overwhelmed with merriment was she.

Kakashi’s lip stuck out further. How quickly this wife of his had gone from begging him for release, wantonly whining his name over and over through the waves of pleasure he crashed down on her…to nearly howling in diabolical delight. Grumbling, and with more force than necessary, Kakashi flung the rejected lollipop into the metal trashbin somewhere on the opposite side of the desk; it hit with a resounding thunk—which, of course, only amplified the giggles in his ear.

But he knew how to put a lid on that….

Grumbling no more, Kakashi hauled his breathless wife on top of him. His hands wove into her tangled hair as he pulled her lips to his, quickly slipping his is tongue into her mouth before she could let out another laugh. Her mirth melted into a hum as he kissed her slowly, thoroughly: letting her taste the remnants of her sweet pleasure as he tasted his, …reminding her exactly how that damned cherry lollipop had ended up on the ceiling….

Omg. I truly have ZERO shame. Also, this was supposed to be quickie but it turned a two-night marathon speedwrite. Story of my lifeeee. Alsoo I totally ran out of time, and you can probs tell where I started checking the clock.... ;) But it’s now past 11, and I am SO late for this Halloween party. I swear I'll go back and round out the ending / actually read it through and edit tomorrow! But for now… Please let me know if you liked it! Feedback is so helpful for writing. 💙 And as much as I love these two, I've never written KakaSaku before! Should I do more KS? Should I just keep to my lane and stick to my other Sakura pairings?? sfjlsdfjldskf 🙈 I hope you at least got a kick out of it, but if you didn't...let's just blame it on my thirst…for wine. 😅🍷

PS: Threw in a few "princesses" 'cause I got a random anon ask for that soooo, voila!

💋🍭🍒 11/06/18 UPDATE! 💋🍭🍒 

So juuust under a week after Halloween, I finally had the time to go back and finish this thing right. It only took another 2,000 words.... 😂 Sorry about that! Was not my best work, but I was feeling festive so I rushed to have it out by the 31st. Write tipsy, edit sober, amiright?

#KakaSaku #Sakura Haruno #Kakashi Hatake #Swalloween2018 #Swalloween #Halloween #Smut #KS smut #Hatake #Kakashi #Haruno #Sakura #KS fanfiction #Naruto #Naruto Fanfiction #EndohWrites #EndohWrites Smut #kakashi x sakura #KakashixSakura #KakaSaku Fluff #Fluff #Humor #KakaSaku Humor #Tsunade #Haruno Sakura #Hatake Kakashi