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ahfrickenfrick · 2 months

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nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”

and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.

no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim

#THIS WAS HIDING IN MY DRAFTS WTF I LOVE IT #my best work is most hidden smh smh #dc comics #batman #dc #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #nightwing #red hood #red robin #dc robin #batfamily #head canon #headcanon #batbros

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redactedrem · 1 month

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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

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adreamfromnevermore · 2 months

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Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

#batman #dc #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #spoiler #red robin #justice league

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ghost-bxrd · 2 months

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Headcanon that when Jason so much as says “ow..” on the comms the rest of the batfam immediately assume he must be dying.

#look Jason NEVER complains about being in pain #so it must be BAD #and after one close call #(and one death)#they’re not taking any chances #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #robin #bruce wayne #ghost talks #red hood #batman #damian wayne #tim drake #batdad #headcanon a

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jesterraconteuse · 19 days

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You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

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violent138 · 29 days

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The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

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oldmannapping · 4 months

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Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

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confused-wanderer · 6 months

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When Jason was little, he wanted to sound as intimidating as he could for Robin, and so copied Batman’s behaviour and voice, and would also imitate Dick because he was the first Robin and just so cool Jason couldn’t help look upto him as the standard (still is to a certain extent for present day Jason though he’ll never admit it).

So today, Jason can not only perfectly embody their body language so much so that if you couldn’t see his face you would think it’s them, he can also uncannily mimic their voices.

He uses this to their utmost advantage and it results in chaos every time. Just image scenarios like you’re in Gotham trying to rob houses in peace at night, you hear “Well well well something darks happening.” and of course you’re fucked but it’s Nightwing so you’re not that fucked and when you look to the source of the sound you find yourself staring down the feared crime lord Red Hood aiming a bazooka at you.

#batman #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #nightwing #tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #headcanons #damian wayne #robin!jason #batfam funny heacanons #young!jason todd

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strawberrylet · 1 year

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idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

#batman #robin #dc robin #justice league #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #steph brown #damian wayne #batfam #dc hcs #batfamily #robins #batfam hc #batfam headcanons #batman hc #batman headcanon

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batfamilycannons · 6 months

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A daily occurrence

Jason, English nerd, Todd: USE OXFORD COMMAS, CUNT!

Tim, I dropped out of high school I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, Drake: No.

Dick, I speak like 17 languages fluently and still refuse to follow or learn the grammar rules in this one, Grayson: a what?

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strange-birb · 7 months

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Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet

Order left to right pic 1 lolz

Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)

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lizardpersonyknow · 8 days

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Tim drake but he has a completely unexplainable beef with one of the lesser Gotham rogues. I'm thinking like kite man or something. Where anyone who sees him fight them feels the need to pull him aside because it sounds like he is deliberately digging in to deeply personal traumas of that villain to hurt them. He regularly makes this rogue cry. He only ever says "they know what they did". Asking the rogue? "I know what I did :(". And yet, the rogue still makes specific effort to trap him.

Years later it comes out that he and this rogue thought it was funny watching the batfam and Gotham's collective concern and confusion. I headcanon that every Gotham rogue has been to at least one summer camp for theatre. The rogue can cry on command. It's literally just a bit.

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thedevilundercover · 6 days

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The bat kids should threaten to get adopted by Tim every time Bruce is being a dickhead or just an inconvenience in anyway shape or form. Tim is paranoid enough to have his foster license and probably overthinks it enough to have Gotham CPS under his control. (Some people are bribing the cops while this man is bribing CPS smh.)

And like when Bruce over steps, they’re like “ok then, Tim’s my new dad now. “ Then they go camp out at Tim’s place for a while.

Usually the younger ones (+Cass) do this but it’s even more hilarious when Dick and Jason catch on to this. I think that Jason would do it first tho

Like imagine if Bruce refused to give Jason money for ammo or smth:

Bruce, literally so tired bc of this: Jaylad, for the last time, I’m not giving you money to buy real bullets. I'd be happy to buy you the rubber ones.

Jason, the most extra, dramatic younger-sibling-turned-older-sibling: Ok then, I get it, you don’t love me anymore. I can take a hint. You know what? I’ll do you a favour and get myself adopted by Tim *cue fake sniffles and dramatic exit*

Bruce, so so tired this has happened like twenty times this week already and it’s Wednesday: Oh my god why does he keep stealing my kids what the fuck

Tim also has no concept of money so he just shrugs, hands them his black amex and lets them do whatever the fuck they want

#batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #dcu #jason todd #red robin #dick grayson #batfam headcanons #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #red hood

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yourlocal-edgelord · 11 days

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feel like one day the batfam would just grow fed up of jason bragging that he died once and use it against him

———

Jason: You know i died on-

Bruce: My son died once, it was a very hard time for us all we spent it grieving

Jason: …

——

*Jason walking in with a stab wound*

Dick looking at the dagger clearly alarmed: What happened baby bird?!?

Jason: No big deal, nothing compared to my de-

Dick: you know my baby brother died once, he could die again, I’m going to get B to bar you from patrol since death is so traumatic for you.

Jason pausing wide eyed: WHAT?!?

———

Tim: cool shirt steph

Steph: Thanks i tye dyed it with cass

Jason: You know i died once

Tim sighing and looking out the window wistfully: It wasn’t you that died jason, it was the mAgIc iN rObIn

*steph cracking up*

#Jason: I DIED ONCE #Damian: ok and?#batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons #batman #tim drake #jason todd #red robin #dick grayson #red hood #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #nightwing #spoiler #batgirl #spoiler dc #steph brown #jasons death

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ahfrickenfrick · 29 days

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when dick was 13-15, robin went through what the league/team calls ‘the scowling’

criminals thought gotham had really hardened the young birds spirit

those closest to the bats know it’s actually because he had braces and couldn’t show them while in costume

#dc headcanon #dick grayson #dc comics #dc #batman #justice league #young justice #or #teen titans #dc robin #robin #robin headcanons #dick grayson robin

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refloralisation · 11 months

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My firm and very sincere belief that Tim Drake and Damian Wayne are the brothers that completely affirm each others paranoia fuelled contingencies for really inane situations. Its the most irritating thing ever. Like Damian will say “what if this girl scout is really just a means for someone to poison us” and Tim will instantly say “you’re so right, we need to do a homeland security level background check on the entire girl scouts chapter in gotham immediately”. The definition of bring out the worst in each other.

They’re not allowed to be in any living situation together without supervision because the last time they were left alone in the manor together, they literally created such stringent security measures that not even Alfred and Bruce could get into the house.

#batfam #batman #tim drake #damian wayne #bruce wayne #dc comics #robin #red robin #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #headcanons

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