#pvris death of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlexdeaths · 20 days

Text

pushing up daisies - e.m.

kas eddie munson x fem reader

treat me bad like i’m no one's daughter,

body bag, baby, i’m a goner…

18+ ONLY MDNI

warnings: ANGSTTTTT, mentions of eddie’s death and the upside down, canon divergent (reader is chosen as vecna’s last victim instead of max), established relationship, soft!dom eddie, biting/blood drinking, lil bit of jealous eddie, public sex, unprotected piv sex, cream pie

based on love is a… by pvris

word count: 2.9k

a/n: this is honestly something i am so incredibly proud of, so i hope you all enjoy it. a big thank you to my babes @undead-supernova @strangerstilinski and @lokis-army-77 for helping me with parts of this fic, i love you all so much 💕

The sky was dark, storm clouds rolling in as you trudged through the rusted gates of Hawkin’s memorial cemetery.

Only the booming sounds of thunder and your labored breathing filled the morning air. Rain droplets poured steadily onto your head, dripping down the collar of your rain jacket. The clothing seemingly useless as the heavy rain soaked you to the bone.

The wild daisies clutched in your fist were beginning to wilt as your eyes scanned over the sea of headstones. Your throat tightens once you find his, now wishing that Dustin had been lying to you.

The words BURN IN HELL FREAK were still visible, despite the male’s best effort to clean them off the previous day. It had been less than a week since the funeral, but that was plenty of time for someone to vandalize his headstone. You hated this town.

Reaching the now desecrated grave you sigh, gently running your fingers along the top of the headstone. The rough edges scraped against your fingertips as you knelt down in front of it. Letting your hand fall into your lap, glancing down at the sad excuse of a bouquet in the other.

He deserved more than this… he deserved more than anything this shitty town had to offer.

“Hey Eds,” you whisper, despite the desolation surrounding you.

You carefully set the daisies onto the ground, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill past your waterline. The white of the flowers contrasted sharply against the dirt, which was quickly turning to mud beneath your knees. But you didn’t mind.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to the funeral,” guilt laces your shaky voice as you tug your lower lip between your teeth. “I just… I couldn’t see you like that.”

Despite the feeble attempts that Dustin and Robin made to coax you out of bed that day, nothing was going to change your mind. You didn’t want to remember him that way, as you were already grappling with the image of him dying in Dustin’s arms.

A memory that haunts your dreams every night.

“I hope you can forgive me,” you mumble, reaching into your pocket to pull out his lucky set of dice. A sad smile tugs at the corner of your mouth as you begin to place them along his headstone, “I brought a peace offering.”

A loud crack has your eyes flicking up, body jolting in surprise as a bolt of lightning strikes a tree in the distance. The impact splits the trunk down the middle, the wind picking up speed and taking your flowers with it.

The torn petals spread across the unkempt ground, the gesture now ruined. Just like everything else you touched.

You blame yourself for his death, knowing he would still be here if Vecna hadn't chosen you. You would live through a thousand years in a prison of your own mind, let that monster drain you of your entire existence— if it meant Eddie would have lived.

“It’s all my fault,” you don’t stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks, staring intently at the stone in front of you.

Edward Lee Munson, now at peace.

Those bold words stare back at you, mirroring the stone that sat just a few feet besides his. One you had become very familiar with over the years.

Elizabeth Ann Munson.

Beloved wife and mother, may she rest in peace.

While hers were more faded, they still brought you a small sense of comfort. Knowing that Eddie was with her now, he was safe. But that comfort wouldn’t heal the hole that had been punched through your chest.

“I miss you,” you hiccup, your tears steadily flowing now, the moisture beginning to blur your vision. “It w-wasn’t supposed to b-be you.”

Your soft cries soon morphed into pained sobbing, your shoulders hunched over as you dug your fists into the earth. You were grateful that Steve had let you come alone, not wanting anyone to see you like this.

In the short time that Eddie had been gone, you felt suffocated. With Vecna still alive and plotting, you were constantly being watched. Your friends not knowing if the demon, creature, whatever he was— would come back to claim you for good.

Part of you hoped for it, mentally pleaded to be taken away too. Because a life without Eddie, wasn’t a life you wanted to live.

A loud scream pierces the air, and it takes you a moment to realize the sound has come from you. Your chest heaves from the force of it, allowing your head to tilt back as your eyes slip shut. Enjoying how the rain soaks into your pores, washing away any trace of your tears.

You sit like that for a while, as the storm continues to wage on around you. Silently wishing that the rain would wash you away too. Dirt is caked under your fingernails, mud coated your shins and the hem of your skirt. You knew you couldn’t sit out here much longer, as your teeth started to chatter from the cold.

Your head falls forward, allowing yourself one last look at his headstone. The red paint has stained it horribly, tainting the last thing he had left in this world.

“I’ll come back tomorrow and clean this shit up, I promise.” You say, lifting up your pinky towards the block of stone. You hold it there for a moment before your hand falls back to your side.

“I love you, Eddie,” you sniffle, wiping your nose on your sleeve as you start to stand. Turning around as you begin to wipe the dirt from your knees.

As you take a step forward your shoe begins to sink into the wet soil, almost swallowing your foot whole. An annoyed huff leaves your lips as you try to pull it back out. But any attempt is stopped short as a cold hand wraps around your other ankle. A deep groan echoes in your ears as your eyes widen in fear.

This was it… Vecna’s come back for you.

While everything inside you begs you to run, your body remains frozen. Hyperventilating as the ground beneath you begins to shift, your feet sinking in deeper as another body fights its way out from the earth. A strained grunt of your name snaps you out of your petrified state, recognizing the voice immediately.

This was a cruel joke, knowing he was taking on Eddie’s form just to hurt you more. So you decided you wouldn’t stick around to witness it.

If you were going to die, it would be by his own hands.

“No!” You shout, yanking your ankle out of that icy grip as you make a break for it.

You don’t make it very far though, only reaching the edge of his grave before you lose your footing. The tip of your shoe catches on a tree root, sending your body tumbling forward onto the wet ground. The impact knocks the wind out of you as you struggle to take a breath in. Your nails dig into the grass for purchase as you try to crawl away.

The feeling of two hands wrapping around each ankle has you screaming, thrashing about as you're dragged back towards the grave. The male flips you around, unable to hear his broken pleas over the sound of your own shrieks. You keep your eyes focused on the storm clouds above your heads, desperate for some kind of distraction. You wouldn’t look at him, you couldn’t.

This wasn’t your Eddie.

A dirty hand grips onto your chin, tilting your head down as he wedges his body between your thighs. Forcing you to face him, his dark eyes ablaze with fury— a sharp contrast to the way he gently cradles your jaw.

“I’m not in the mood for games… just get on with it,” you snap, letting your eyes slip shut as you wait for that familiar pain to shoot up your spine and through your skull.

But nothing happens.

You crack an eye open only to find the brunette staring back down at you, confusion coating his features.

“… get on with what, sweetheart?” His voice cracks, the look on his face mirroring his tone.

“Killing me,” you state, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

There’s a moment of silence between you before he starts laughing, the booming sound instantly melts your insides. It was something you thought you would never hear again.

“I guess my entrance was very Night of the Living Dead, huh?” He teases with a wide grin as his head dips lower— his drenched curls sticking to your cheek.

When you feel Eddie’s lips connect with the base of your throat, your breath hitches. Heat pools in your middle as he inhales, groaning deeply. The sound vibrates against your skin, sending shockwaves through your system.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he hums, his hands running down the length of your sides. The male grips onto the soaked fabric of your dress, slowly inching it up until his palms are splayed across the tops of your thighs.

“You’re so warm,” he continues, his nose grazing along your collarbone as you grip onto the shoulders of his oversized suit jacket.

“H-How are you here?” You question with a small whine as he lightly nips at your throat, chuckling deeply.

“You brought me here, sweetheart.” His words are spoken reassuringly, but they don’t offer you any comfort.

“So, this is a dream,” there’s no question in your voice, only a trace of melancholy.

But Eddie notices it immediately, his head lifting from the crook of your neck. His dark eyes met yours for a moment, a look of determination flashing through his irises.

“Does this feel like a dream to you, baby?”

Before you can reply, his lips brush against yours. Any worries that this wasn’t real melt away with each press of his mouth on yours. Silencing the fear that this will all disappear the moment you pull apart. The storm rages on as he kisses you with an electricity that rivals the lightning above you.

“Definitely not a dream,” you mumble, earning a soft chuckle from him.

You swallow the sound as you kiss him deeper, his ringed fingers gliding further up your thighs and under your dress. Your own slip underneath the collar of his jacket, sliding it off of his shoulders. Letting the rain soak into his white dress shirt, the fabric clinging to the muscles in his back.

Your hands quickly rake through his hair, tugging on the drenched curls as his mouth trails along your jaw. Continuing lower as he sucks harshly on your skin, enjoying the way your body responds to each press of his lips. A breathy whine spills past your own as his fingers reach the elastic band of your panties.

The tension between you continues to mount as you eagerly drag his mouth back to yours. Eddie’s fingers curl under the waistband, snapping the lace against your skin. You barely register the tearing of that same fabric, too preoccupied with his lips on yours. The clinking of his belt soon follows, aiding him in pushing his slacks down his thighs.

“Please,” you plead, lifting your hips against his. Not wanting to waste another second to have him buried inside you.

The brunette gently shushes you, pulling back for a moment as he rubs the tip of cock through your drenched folds. His pupils dilate as he takes in the way your lips part under his thumb. A shaky breath escapes them as he lines himself up with your entrance.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he coos, caressing your cheek as he guides his hips forward. Slowly slipping into your awaiting heat with a strangled groan, “I’ll take care of you.”

His actions are gentle, as your bodies become reacquainted with each other. Eddie guides your hands above your head, fingers lacing together in the dirt. Your thighs are snug around his hips, desperate to keep him as close as humanly possible.

He rocks his hips into yours at a deep but leisurely pace, letting him savor every moment he spends inside you. As neither of you know what will happen after this is all over, it’s not something you want to think about.

Being here, in this moment, with him is the only thing that mattered to you.

The ferocity of the storm drowns out the cries that leave your lips, much different from the agonized ones you had let out earlier. Everything feels heightened, pleasure coursing through your veins with each stroke of his cock.

There’s a sudden shift in his demeanor as his eyes glaze over with an almost dangerous glint. Similar to that of a predator who had locked eyes on his prey. Your heart rate increases as a deep growl permeates the air. His fingers slip out of yours, instead digging into the soil beside you as his body goes rigid.

The brown of his irises disappear from view as he squeezes them shut, worry beginning to fill your chest. Your hands reach up to cradle his face, feeling how tightly his jaw was clenched underneath your fingertips.

“Eds,” you call softly, but the male remains frozen above you— a statue of Adonis.

He was losing control, ready to slip through your fingers. But you had already lost him once, and you weren't about to let it happen again.

“Stay with me,” you implore, softly pressing your lips against the furrow between his eyes. Brushing the dirt from his cheeks as you continue to trail tender kisses across his face.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he finally speaks as your lips hover over his, your breath mingling together.

“You won’t,” you promise as your nose nudges against his.

Eddie seems reluctant as he opens his eyes, crimson beginning to bleed into his irises. “But there’s something different…” he trails off, searching for any trace of fear reflecting in your eyes. “I’m different.”

“I don’t care,” you don’t miss a beat, capturing his lips with yours once more.

He moans into your mouth, hands encircling your waist as you lift your hips, encouraging him to thrust deeper inside you. Your tongue slips past his lips, gliding along his front teeth. Coming to a sudden realization as you feel the pointed edge of his canines.

Logically you should feel frightened, but it seems to have the opposite effect on you. Your kisses become frantic as your walls flutter around his shaft, the sensation causing him to moan out your name. The pace of his hips quickens as your nails dig into the drenched dress shirt covering his back.

Your lips separate as you gasp, his cock hitting that spot that has you seeing stars. The both of you falling closer to that precipice with each thrust of his hips. But it’s not quite enough, needing to connect with him on a new level.

Eddie peers down at you in awe as your head falls back, baring your throat to him. “Do it,” you insist, guiding his mouth towards your neck.

You can sense his hesitation, his lips ghosting over your skin instead.

“Please, Eddie,” you beg, his groan vibrating against your throat. “I want you to.”

The sincerity in your tone squashes any doubts still lingering in his head. Allowing his teeth to graze against your tender flesh, testing his resolve.

“I trust you,” is what he needs to hear before he sinks his teeth into your neck.

Your body arches into his chest, trembling as that familiar wave of euphoria crashes over you— pulling you under completely. Eddie drinks from you greedily, continuing to work you through your high as his own steadily approaches.

“Taste so fucking good, sweetheart,” he moans as his teeth detach themselves from your throat.

His tongue darts out, lapping up the blood that begins to trickle down the curve of your neck. The sight of his mark on you is almost enough to send him over the edge. But your pretty whines are the final nail in his coffin, hips stuttering as he fills you with his warmth.

“I love you.”

Those three little words are whispered against your collarbone as the male collapses onto you. A content smile spreads across your face as your fingers card themselves through his curls. The both of you soaking up this moment of bliss for as long as you can.

The rain above your heads has finally slowed to a drizzle, the pitter patter of the droplets matching your heartbeat. You don’t know how long you laid there like this, bodies intertwined on his grave.

But it didn’t matter, as long as it was him you were entangled with.

“I love you too,” you reply a while later, the male humming as he lifts his face from the crook of your neck, crimson smeared across his lips.

A fond look falls over his features as he leans down to kiss you again, the metallic taste of you lingering on his mouth. A thought suddenly occurs to you, causing you to giggle against his lips.

“What’s so funny, sweetness?” He muses, pulling away from you with a raised brow. You tuck a loose curl behind his ear, a teasing smile playing on your lips.

“Just trying to think of how to explain this to Steve.” You watch in amusement as a scowl appears on his face.

“Poor thing is gonna think I was mauled by a wild animal,” you tease, gesturing to the bite mark on your neck.

You see a flash of jealousy in his eyes, a low growl rumbles through his chest as his lips reattach themselves to your throat— causing you to squeal.

“Harrington’s just gonna have to deal with it,” he answered smugly, hugging your body closer to his.

The both of you completely unaware of the looming figure watching you from the tree line.

tagging some lovelies: @xxbimbobunnyxx @munsonhoneybaby @rowanswriting @voyeurmunson @nailbatanddungeon @vecslut @likedovesinthewnd @lofaewrites

#the freak writes 🫧#eddie munson one shot #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female character #eddie munson fic #eddie x reader #kas!eddie munson x reader #kas!eddie munson

431 notes · View notes

letsmakepoppunkgreatagain · 9 months

Text

PVRIS - Death Of Me

#pvris #alternative #letsmakepoppunkgreatagain #pop punk #lyrics #bands #emo #alt rock #emo lyrics #edit #my edit #jayelle

411 notes · View notes

onceuponastory · 7 months

Text

the day i lost you - bucky barnes x reader

Still remember how you taste Somewhere in the bitter and the sweet dream Do you think of me standing in a summer haze? When we were gonna be okay? - january rain by PVRIS

Plot: In the aftermath of The Blip and her boyfriend Bucky turning to dust, Y/N finds a voicemail from him... sent the day she lost him. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death, or at least Bucky is presumed dead (obviously we know Bucky isn't dead but we all thought he was after Infinity War, let's be honest) and grief. And of course, some angst. But as always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: This is for @whumptober Day 24. I used the prompt: "Goodbye Note". I also combined it with the @angstober "The Day I Lost You" prompt. I was once again sad and listening to PVRIS as I wrote this, so now you can be too :)

Not beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

Stepping over the threshold into her apartment, Y/N drops her bags to the floor with a tired groan. The rain still pounds down outside, the sound echoing through the building. As a personal assistant to Tony Stark himself, Y/N’s working life is extremely busy. And since The Blip, she’s busier than ever, constantly being pulled into meetings with little time for herself. For the past few weeks, she’s been away at a conference with the surviving Avengers, working on a solution to The Blip. This is the first time she’s had to breathe in about a year. And that also means it’s the first time she’s been home since it all happened, since her boyfriend and some of her best friends turned to dust.

And she’s never felt so alone.

Of course, Y/N knows that dating an Avenger, let alone the Winter Soldier himself, comes with its own risk. Especially the risk he may never come home. But although it’s always been at the back of her mind, seeping into her every thought whilst he’s away on a mission… Bucky came back safe so many times that the worry dissipated. Foolishly, she believed he was indestructible, and that he’d always come home to her.

Until he didn’t.

Tears spring at her eyes then, and she furiously tries to wipe them away. She’s done enough grieving over the last year. Enough hoping that he’s coming back, only to end up disappointed. There’s only so much pain you can take before you can’t go on anymore. And Y/N crossed that line a long time ago.

The red light on her answering machine blinks back at her, and she sighs, rubbing her temples and closing her eyes, hoping that when she opens them, the light will be gone. But no matter how hard she tries, it’s still there, and she groans. The last thing she wants to hear right now is more “I’m sorry to hear about Bucky” and “We understand how much it hurts, but he’s in our thoughts.” Nobody will ever understand how much it hurts. Even the other Avengers.

Because Bucky isn’t just in her thoughts. He’s everywhere. He still occupies the empty space in her bed, his laughter still fills the halls, his singing echoing from the shower. He’s the whisper in the wind, the faint scent of his cologne whenever she enters a room, and that still clings to her clothing like a safety blanket. He’s the shiver up her spine, the faint feeling of a hand holding hers, an arm wrapped around her waist.

It’s like he never even left.

Y/N presses the button, bracing herself for the onslaught of messages to come. “Hey sweetheart. It’s me-” As soon as she hears her mother’s voice, Y/N deletes the message. She’ll deal with her and her incessant questions later. She means well, of course, they all do. But the last thing she wants is to be pestered, reminded of her pain over and over again. They may mean well, but there’s nothing they can do. There’s nothing anyone can do. The other message is boring, a message about her car’s extended warranty that gets deleted almost immediately.

But when she hears the voice in the next message, she collapses to her knees. “Hey doll.” Bucky speaks. It's the first time she’s heard his voice - actually heard it - since he left. As soon as she hears him speak, she can see the smile on his face, and hear the laughter in his tone. Her presence always brought a smile to Bucky's face, even on his worst days. Because he loves her. …Loved her.

Hearing Bucky’s voice again, so soon after losing him, causes all her pent-up emotions to erupt, a year's worth of pain spilling over. As the first of her sobs break through, Bucky’s voice continues. “Just checking in to see how you are and keep you updated. Steve and the others are here…”

“Why didn’t I answer the call? I could’ve stopped them!”

“... and we have a game plan now to stop this asshole. Before you know it, I’ll be back home in New York with you, my favourite girl.” Her chest heaves, and she sobs even harder. “I miss you so much, though. The guys keep pestering me about it, but I don’t care. I love you, Y/N, and I want the entire world to know.” That sends her over the edge. A painful, anguished wail rips through her, the sound filling the room. Y/N’s full body shakes, and she clutches at her chest. “I hope you’re doing well and staying out of trouble.” Bucky chuckles. “Keep me updated. But I’ll see you soon enough, anyway.”

“Why didn’t I answer? Why didn’t I answer?!”

“I better go, Steve’s shouting at me. Think the mission is about to start.”

Y/N sits up, trying to grab the phone to dial Bucky’s number and tell him she’s still here, that she still loves him. Hoping that he’s there on the other side, waiting for her.

“Bye doll. See you soon. Love you always.” And then, the line goes dead, the dull beeping noise going right through her. Picking up the phone, she dials Bucky’s number, holding it to her ear as her heart pounds.

“Please… please…” she begs. "Just answer me Bucky... please."

Beep.

“Hey! This is Bucky. I can’t talk right now, and I don’t really know how these things work.” He chuckles, the sound forming a small glimpse of warmth in her belly, and Y/N even laughs softly too. She was there when he recorded that message, her best efforts to teach him the wonders modern technology still not sinking in. Not that it matters now, though. None of it does. She just wants him back. “So I guess if you leave a message, I’ll call you back?”

And he always called her back. Even if it was a day, a week or even a month late. Bucky always called her back. But he won’t call back. Not this time.

She tries to speak, to say something, anything, to Bucky's voicemail. If there's even a chance he could hear it, she wants him to know how much she loves him, and how much she misses him. Yet she can't say anything through her tears.

When the call disconnects, Y/N sinks to her knees, huddling into a ball as the sobs rack through her entire body.

She’s alone again.

And she always will be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Please follow @onceuponastory-library and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

166 notes · View notes

fastlikealambo · 9 months

Text

national anthem:older!steve x black fem!reader

summary: steve harrington is running for president of the united states as the democratic nominee. he's polling well, people like him because he actually intends to keep his campaign promises, he's got great hair and a cute dog.

there's one problem: he doesn't do relationships, he's been seen doing the walk of shame too many times and his campaign manager has had enough. he needs a wife, or a least someone to smile and wave his messy ass through election season before disappearing into obscurity.

that's where you come in.

you're a sweet virgin kindergarten teacher who looks like disney animated birds help you get dressed in the morning. on paper you're perfect for the job and you have student loan and medical debt so you will silk press and laugh your way to the democratic national convention.

here's the thing:

you can't stand his pompous ass and he gets all tongue tied and sweaty when he gets within 2 feet of you.

it's gonna be a long fucking campaign.

bonus: here's two songs that are the background music in this chapter. can you figure out which song goes with what scene? I'd love to know your guesses.

angel - halle bailey

death of me - pvris

chapter one: washington, d.c.

“They’re calling you The Future Slut in Chief, Steve.”

Erica threw a paper in Steve’s lap, pinching the bridge of her nose before sinking into a chair to drink her iced coffee, the only thing to keep her from reaching across the table and throttling the future President of The United States.

Steve looked down at The New York Post, a picture of him in his boxers leaving someone’s apartment dead center. He shrugged, putting his feet on the table and leaning back in his chair.

“I look great and besides it’s the New York Post, nobody reads The New York Post, Sinclair. After the speech today no one will give two shits about that, nothing to worry about.” He said, shoving his sunglasses back on his face to block out the fluorescent lighting.

Four more newspapers with nearly identical pictures knocked the sunglasses right off his face and the forty year old nearly fell out of his chair.

“You can’t throw things at me, that’s treason.”

“Not yet.” Erica said sweetly.

“They’re making fancams of you and I quote, ‘ your slutty little waist.” Holly Wheeler said, Erica’s assistant said with a giggle, showing her boss her phone, the same bridge of some Cardi B. song filling the conference room over and over again.

“Send me that to me, won’t you Holly?” Steve said, reaching for his coffee.

“Do not send that to him Holly.” Erica sighed, pushing Steve’s legs off the table before standing up.

“Look Harrington, I joined this campaign because I believed in you. You had feasible ideas, a moral compass, the hair of a Kennedy and so much money I sometimes want to call the IRS for fun.”

“What was that last one-

“Never mind that. Everything about you screams all american but because you don’t have a partner or spouse, to the general public it also screams ‘I may or may not have people in my basement.’ Nobody likes a single male president.”

“James Buchanan never married.” Steve grumbled.

Steve Harrington didn’t do relationships, he had his fun every night, came home to his dog and empty apartment and focused on doing some good in his community with the outrageous inheritance his father left him.

There was no time for wives or husbands and that’s exactly how he liked it.

“James Buchanan thought a dime was enough money to live on so maybe not the best example. Steve, you have a chance to be the next leader of this country but doing the walk of shame at your prehistoric age is not going to get the votes you need.”

Erica was absolutely right but Steve would be damned if he said so.

“You need someone at your side for the last leg of the campaign and I’ve taken care of it. She’s been checked out and briefed, you’ll meet her on stage tonight when you introduce her, I’ve had Nancy edit your speech.”

“What the fuck Erica!” Steve yelled but Erica ignored him.

“She’s smarter than you, beautiful, and most importantly, she’s likable. So if you want to sit in the Oval Office for the next four years, you’ll wear the Tom Ford suit and act like this is the greatest love story ever told. You don’t have to talk to her outside of events if you don’t want to but you will do this. I have yet to fail you so trust that I can do the job you pay me handsomely for. Got it?”

No.

Absolutely not.

There was no way he was going through with this.

“To wrap up my speech so we can all get home safely, I want to introduce you to someone. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, to this campaign, to this country! I’m so proud to finally introduce my fiancée, let’s give her a big hand!” Steve said with a big smile at the cheering crowd, proud of the fact that he didn’t immediately vomit when the word fiancée came out of his mouth.

The click-clack of your heels coming up a staircase had Steve’s heart in his throat. At some point his clapping was no longer forced as he waited for the worst blind date of his life to appear on stage.

“Get it together Harrington, turn on the charm for two minutes and get the fuck out of here.” He thought to himself.

He could handle this.

Two seconds later, he was wrong.

So, very, wrong.

If there were words to truly describe how beautiful you were, Steve did not know them.

How could he?

How would ecstasy describe ecstasy?

Fuck.

Like Erica drilled into him a thousand times before the DC rally began, he reached out his hand to you, now enveloped in the scent of orchids and shea butter, and brought you into his arms for the world’s gentlest and fastest embrace. Your lips met with Steve’s cheek with a sweet laugh that made the crowd go wild as you pushed him forward towards the mic.

But no words came out.

That man was so busy looking at you he didn’t know the closing to his speech, the stump speech he had been giving for months now, the one he could recite in his sleep and accidentally yelled out during sex that one time.

A full ten seconds of uncomfortable silence with a sweaty man had you suddenly in front of the mic.

“I’m so happy to be a part of this once in a lifetime event supporting Steve! We’ve got a lot of work to do to get to the ballot box but we are ready to elevate and encourage our beautiful country towards a brighter future! Good night everyone, drive safe!” You nearly yelled into the mic, applause bursting through the audience.

You were quickly ushered backstage away from journalists, happy to get out as just as quickly as possible but Steve followed right with you.

“I-I had that back there!” Your fiance and future president choked out.

“Oh, so you can talk, wonderful! A thank you for saving your ass or a nice to meet you would suffice. I didn’t know a presidential nominee much less an adult man could drool like an infant but you’re full of surprises Mr. Harrington.” You said, rolling your eyes.

“I was not drooling!”

“My shoulder’s all wet Mr. President. Are we done here, can I go now?” You asked, turning your attention to Erica.

“I’m so glad you two are getting along! One more picture for all the socials and then you are free to go, Hopper and your security detail will make sure you get to your hotel safely.” Erica said, grabbing her phone for the picture.

“Big smiles, you two!”

You still couldn’t get over the fact that 24 hours ago, you were crying yourself to sleep wondering how you were going to pay your bills and get back on your insurance and now you’re prom posing with America’s Next Top Leader.

“I couldn’t have possibly drooled on you, you wanna know why?” Steve said through a frozen smile.

“Not really.”

“If I got the next First Lady of The United States all wet, you’d know, honey.” He whispered in your ear.

Motherfucker.

Next stop: Maryland! I hope you enjoyed this, I’m not too sure if it's any good :)

#older!steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x black!reader #steve harrington fanfic

119 notes · View notes

blockgamepirate · 6 months

Text

Bolas Rojas Playlist

And the Hero Will Drown : Story Of The Year

Evil People : Set It Of

Twist : Korn

It's Been So Long : The Living Tombstone

Breaking Me Down : Soil

Rules of Nature - Platinum Mix : Jason Charles Miller

Unsainted : Slipknot

oops! : Yung Gravy

Break Stuff : Limp Bizkit

Friday Night Fire Fight : Aligns, Rubicones

BlastZone (ЗонаПоражения) : BONES

SugarCrash! : ElyOtto

Aerials : System Of A Down

King For A Day : Pierce The Veil, Kellin Quinn

Down with the Sickness : Disturbed

Witness : Mindless Self Indulgence

Throne : Bring Me The Horizon

Numb : Linkin Park

Freak On a Leash : Korn

BREAK LAW : Dog Blood, Skrillex, Boys Noize

When It Cuts : Ill Niño

GAS GAS GAS - EXTENDED MIX : Manuel

Becoming Insane : Infected Mushroom

Bricolen : Copain du web

Duality : Slipknot

Waltz of the Meatball Man : Gooseworx

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

Ani Mevushal : Infected Mushroom, Bliss

Laid to Rest : Lamb of God

Before I Forget : Slipknot

Renegades Of Funk : Rage Against The Machine

Downfall : TRUSTcompany

Hate Crew Deathroll : Children Of Bodom

Savior : Rise Against

Given Up : Linkin Park

Falling Apart : zebrahead

B.Y.O.B. : System Of A Down

Wait and Bleed : Slipknot

The Hand That Feeds : Nine Inch Nails

Stricken : Disturbed

Toxicity : System Of A Down

People = Shitm : Slipknot

In the End : Linkin Park

The Government Knows : KNOWER

We're Beautiful : ABSRDST, Diveo

Ponyboy : SOPHIE

Dumbest Girl Alive : 100 gecs

GOTTASADAE : BewhY

NIGHTMARES : Alice Glass

Can You Feel My Heart : Bring Me The Horizon

Kingslayer (feat. BABYMETAL) : Bring Me The Horizon, BABYMETAL

Goat Type Beat : harvoYT

Du hast : Rammstein

Zombie : The Cranberries

Squishy Caterpillars Riding On Bullets : Istasha

Captions Are Automatically Generated . Istasha

Rédeas : Project46

Wherever I May Roam : Metallica

For Whom The Bell Tolls - Remastered : Metallica

Path Vol. 2 : Apocalyptica, Sandra Nasic

White Rabbit : Jefferson Airplane

Animals : Architects

Tokyo Drift (Fast & Furious) - From "The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift" Soundtrack : Teriyaki Boyz

Roots Bloody Roots : Sepultura

Tenebre Rosso Sangue (ULTRAKILL Original Game Soundtrack) : Keygen Church

Parasite Eve : Bring Me The Horizon

We Got the Moves . Electric Callboy

EXILADA : NIKKO, Istasha

BRAZILIAN DANÇA PHONK : 6YNTHMANE, RXDXVIL

Flashback : MIYAVI, Ken Ken

Get Got . Death Grips

Controllah (feat. MC Bin Laden) : Gorillaz, MC Bin Laden

Hayloft II : Mother Mother

Automotivo Bibi Fogosa : Bibi Babydoll, Dj Brunin XM, KZA Produções

ワールドイズマイン-初音ミク「マジカルミライ 2021」Live- (feat. 初音ミク) : ryo (supercell), Hatsune Miku

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) : My Chemical Romance

BxMxC : BABYMETAL

Not Gonna Get Us : t.A.T.u.

Pleasure Model : Noisia, Former

Volcano : Woodkid

Misfit Toys (from the series Arcane League of Legends) : Pusha T, Mako

Snakes (from the series Arcane League of Legends) : PVRIS, MIYAVI

Idiots Are Taking Over : NOFX

Dead Limit : Noisia, The Upbeats

Sober : TOOL

The Pot : TOOL

All Falls Apart : Polyphia

How I Feel : La Dispute

Given Up : Linkin Park

Run : Bring Me The Horizon

Still Waiting : Sum 41

Bodies : Drowning Pool

Side by Side : BewhY

Falling Away from Me . Korn

One Step Closer : Linkin Park

Your Betrayal : Bullet For My Valentine

Tears Don't Fall : Bullet For My Valentine

Vicinity Of Obscenity : System Of A Down

Papercut . Linkin Par

The Diary of Jane - Single Version : Breaking Benjamin

#bolas rojas #qsmp team bolas #qsmp bolas rojas #qsmp purgatory #qsmp bolas #grabbed these from the preview so idk if these are all of them?

72 notes · View notes

blessedwithabadomen · 4 months

Text

Hello hello 🩶

I'm Laura, 30, stuck somewhere in Germany where you'll either find me at a gig or behind my laptop trying to write 🥰

I love all kinds of rock bands and I'm happy to write about them too. My current obsessions include but are not limited to Bad Omens, Fall Out Boy, Bring Me The Horizon, and PVRIS. I'm happy to write for most of these (and others!) too!

My requests for stories are currently closed but I'm always happy to exchange thoughts and yap about our faves!! Also happy to simply chat about anything and everything so don't hesitate 💗

🧸 = fluff; 🔥 = smut; 💔 = angst

↬ The Hands of Temptation (Oli Sykes x Reader x Noah Sebastian) 🔥

↬ in love with the mess (poly Oli Sykes x Reader x Noah Sebastian, chapter story) 🧸🔥💔

↬ Save a horse... (Request! Noah Sebastian x reader) 🧸 🔥 (coming soon)

↬ Love's the Death of Peace of Mind (Noah Sebastian x reader) 💔 🧸 🔥 (coming soon)

49 notes · View notes

elenavr13 · 9 months

Text

Darkiplier/Damien Playlist (Updated)

172 songs

Evermore- Dan Stevens

Everybody Wants To Tule the World- Lorde

Control- Halsey

Gasoline- Halsey

Dynasty- MIIA

Judas- Lady Gaga

Take Me To Church- Hozier

Castle- Halsey

Sing To Me- MISSIO

Kamikazee- MISSIO

Panic Room- Au/Ra

Isolate- Sub Urban

Elastic Heart (Rock Cover)- Written by Wolves

Crossfire- Stephen

Dead!- My Chemical Romance

Stressed Out- Twenty One Pilots

Look What You Made Me Do- Taylor Swift

Smooth Criminal- Michael Jackson

The Voice of Darkiplier- Markiplier

I’ll Be Good- Jaymes Young

I Wanna Be Yours- Arctic Monkeys

Do I Wanna Know- Arctic Monkeys

In His Eyes- Jekyll & Hyde (musical)

Can You Feel My Heart- Bring Me to the Horizon

Feeling Good- Michael Buble

Can You Feel My Heart x Favorite Dress (slowed)- Miro remix

My Demons- Starset

Achilles Come Down- Gang of Youth

Monster- Skillet

What’s the Use of Feeling Blue- Caleb Hyles

Where I Want to Be- Chess in Concert

Can’t Help Falling In Love- Ice Nine Kills

The American Nightmare- Ice Nine Kills

A Grave Mistake- Ice Nine Kills

Left Behind- DAGames

Farewell II Flesh- Ice Nine Kills

Below the Surface- Griffinilla

The Wrecked and the Worried- NateWantsToBattle

You Can’t Take Me Anywhere- NateWantsToBattle

Goner- Twenty One Pilots

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid- The Offspring

Fake You Out- Twenty One Pilots

Miss You- Corpse

Epoch- The Living Tombstone

In the End- Linkin Park

Me, Myself & Hyde- Ice Nine Kills

The World In My Hands- Ice Nine Kills

Popular Monster- Falling In Reverse

Monster- Imagine Dragons

What I Could Have Been- Sting

Hushh- AViVA

Phantom of the Opera

Darkside- NEONI

Broken- DNMO & Sub Urban

Killer In the Mirror- Set It Off

Doubt- Twenty One Pilots

I’m Not Okay- My Chemical Romance

Friends on the Other Side- Princess and the Frog

Poison- WE ARE THE FURY

Apologize- One Republic

My Lullaby (metal cover)- Jonathan Young

I See Red (slowed)- Everybody Loves an Outlaw

Tear In My Heart- Twenty One Pilots

I Hate Everything About You- Three Days Grace

F.L.Y- Ice Nine Kills

Migraine- Twenty One Pilots

Car Radio- Twenty One Pilots

Demons- MISSIO

Snakes- PVRIS & MIYAVI

Villain- KDA

Royalty- Egzod & Maestro Chives ft. Neoni

The Red Means I Love You- Madds Buckley

Loser- Neoni

Not Ready To Die- Avenged Sevenfold

I Want You- Mitski

Poltergeist- Corpse

Life Waster- Corpse

All Of Me (slowed)- John Legend

Young And Beautiful- Lana Del Rey

Dark Paradise (slowed)- Lana Del Rey

How Villains Are Made- Madalen Duke

Love and War- Fluerie

Dark Things- Adona

Wicked Game- Ursine Vulpine

Neptune- Sleeping At Last

Enemy- Tommee Profitt

Far From Home (The Raven)- Sam Tinnesz

City Of The Dead- Eurielle

Throne- Saint Mesa

Paint it, Black- Ciara cover

Man Or A Monster- Sam Tinnesz

Dark On Me- Starset

Hell’s Comin’ With Me- Poor Mans Poison

Wires- The Neighbourhood

Liquid Smooth- Mitski

Little Dark Age- MGMT

Devil In Disguise- Elvis (LLusion)

Toxic- 2WEI

Dark Room- Foreign Figures & EJ Michels

Heathens- Twenty One Pilots

Dance With The Devil- Breaking Benjamin

Black Out Days- Phantogram

Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

Monsters- Ruelle

Whispers In The Dark- Skillet

Salvaged- NateWantsToBattle

Saint Bernard- Lincoln

F*ck You- Silent Child

I Know Those Eyes/This Man Is Dead- Thomas Borchert, Brandi Burkhardt

Broken Inside- Broken Iris

Sweet Dreams- Besomorph

EVIL- AViVA

Saints- Echos

Screaming Bloody Murder- Sum 41

Dandelions (slowed)- Ruth B

Master Mirror- Ashley Serena

Everyday A Little Death- The Count of Monte Cristo

FREAK- Jordan Friction

Broken (slowed)- lovelytheband

Michelle- Sir Chloe

Like A Villain- BAD OMENS

If It’s Vengeance You Want- Unlike Pluto

Monster- Fight The Fade

Listen Before I Go- Billie Eilish

Mary On a Cross (slowed)- Ghost

R.I.F.P.- MOTHICA

Nervous- Lola Blanc

Unravel- Johnathan Young

Lost In Paradise- Evanescence

Lies- Evanescence

Haunted- Laura Les

Dread- Unlike Pluto

Monsters- Shinedown

Black Soul- Shinedown

Sorrow- Sleeping At Last

Seeing Red- Saint Chaos

Villain- Bella Poarch

Lithium- Nirvana

Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana

Down With The Sickness- Disturbed

Animal I Have Become- Three Day Grace

Greed- Godsmack

One of Us is the Killer- The Dillinger Escape Plan

All The King’s Horses- Karmina

Gilded Lily- Cults

Haunted & Unwanted- NateWantsToBattle

Symbol of My Regret- NateWantsToBattle

In My Head- NateWantsToBattle

Vendetta- Unsecret & Krigare

Nothing To Me- NateWantsToBattle

Chasing Cars- Sleeping At Last

Villain- MISSIO

Used to the Darkness- Des Rocs

Unforgiven- Ghost Nation

Monster- Starset

Eight- Sleeping At Last

Already Gone- Sleeping At Last

Devilish- The Phantoms

Motherland- Reach

Falling Away From Me- Korn

Just a Man- Jorge Rivera-Herrans & EPIC Ensemble

Something Wicked- Starset

Darkness in Me- Fight The Fade

I Would Die for You- In This Moment

Eye For An Eye- Rina Sawayama

Psycho in my Head- Skillet

Done With Everything- Line So Thin

Monster- Besomorph

Twisted Games- Night Panda, Krigarè

Killer Inside of Me- Willyecho

King For A Day- Pierce The Veil ft. Kellin Quinn

someone i’m not- Layto

#markiplier #youtuber ego #darkiplier #a heist with markiplier #ahwm #ahwm darkiplier #darkiplier x y/n #darkiplier x da #markiplier damien #damien x da #damien the mayor #who killed markiplier #wkm #wkm darkiplier #wkm damien #character playlist

54 notes · View notes

ariesmusingz · 1 month

Text

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱ white noise ( deluxe ) sentence starters pt 1 ( created using lyrics from pvris' white noise deluxe album. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )

i know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side

right now i can't be what you want

just give it time

if you and i can make it through the night

if you and i can keep our love alive

we'll find we can meet in the middle

bodies and souls collide

dance in the moonlight when all the stars align for you and i

i know it's cold when we're apart

i hate to feel this die

you can't give me what i want

for now we stay so far til our lonely limbs collide

i can't keep you in these arms

i'll keep you in my mind

we stay so far

can we meet in the middle?

i want the world to believe that there's a light inside of me

it's time that i'll come clean

i'm not what i seem

some would say i'm possessed

i'll confess

i've just been obsessed with life and death and emptiness

can't you see all of the change in me?

you took all these starving limbs

tried to see what they cold be

i thought i would be something

i thought you'd complete me

that you'd erase all the pain that i felt in my brain

you filled my heart with love then you'd fill the voids above

now you see that didn't change a thing

what do you want from me?

i'm empty

this isn't violence

this is just a war in my head

i give it time but it never seems to end

i feel a fire in the back of my throat

so let's get covered in flames and play some games with the smoke

don't you try to run right now cause baby, i could burn you down

you make your way into my veins

course right through my limbs and dig your way into my brain

int he second that you walk into a room i can't help myself from the things that you do

you're killing me right now

i think it's time you burn me down

i love the things we do when it's just me and you

i'm burning up

you're just a ghost of blissful feelings

a cloud of smoke that i keep breathing

i'm losing you to the games in my mind

i see your face

now it's changed, shape shifting

don't wanna open my eyes

you give me something to talk about

i know it's chemicals that make me cling to you

i need a miracle to get away form you

i'm not spiritual

i think you're a saint

i think you're an angel

you give me something to talk about that's not the shit in my head

you're a miracle

transparent hands around my neck

i love the way you let me breathe instead

take in your chemicals

you're a glimpse of bliss

a little taste of heaven

i need a miracle to bring me back to you

i know you're gone now but i still wait for you

i still wait for you

i feel you in these walls

you're a cold air creepin' in

chill me to the bones and skin

i heard you down the hall but it's vacant when i'm looking in

who let you in?

you walk around like you own the place

you never say anything

i caught you walking straight through my walls

guess it was all my fault

i think i let you in

never thought that i would feel like this

such a mess when i'm in your presence

i've had enough

think you've been making me sick

gotta get you out of my system

it's my house and i think it's time to get out

it's my soul

it isn't yours anymore

i think it's time to get out

you're at my bedroom door

heard your footsteps on the floor

closer than ever before

now you're in my room

under sheets, avoiding you

i can hear you pace

circling my bed frame

we're face to face

head on my pillow case

darling, you can't stay

haven't you heard?

i'm not yours anymore

chill me to my bones and skin

you've got it all but you've got it all wrong

you don't know

you're a poor unfortunately soul

i know you make it seem like you feel whole

you put on a faith facade

think you're holy when you're not

i hate to break it to you baby, but you're simply lost

you can right all the wrongs just to feel like you belong

simply calling out sings don't bring you closer to god

you're just a ghost at most

a set of empty bones

searching for anything and everything to make you feel whole

you're all alone

you can't control where your body lets you go

you say i've got it all wrong

there's no way that there's weight in the words that you preach

when you're claiming your faith and you contradict your speech

i sit here and listen to your tongue and cheek

i know that when you sit and pray, you're only praying for keeps

you can't control where your body lets you go

you're shallow and empty and filled with regret

i think that chest must be heavy from that cross on your neck

you only wear cause you're wary of what comes next after your death

don't think i didn't notice

don't think i didn't know

#rp sentence prompts #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #memes: mine #roleplay memes #rp memes #rp promts #rph #rpt #rp help

14 notes · View notes

areyoudreaminof · 11 months

Text

Nothing Can Break Me: An Emerie Playlist

You asked for it, and I’m delivering! The holy Valkyrie Trinity is complete! Emerie, what can I say? A survivor who's held her own in a terrible family and society, taking pride in her strengths. She has risen above so much in her very short life. I think Emerie might be the closest thing this series has to Wonder Woman after Feyre. For Emerie, I wanted some heavier sounds and I felt really strongly gravitating toward more female and queer artists. Listen Here! And follow me behind the cut for a deep dive!

Moaning Lisa Smile-Wolf Alice

All in the books and all in her blood And nowhere to run ‘cos it's out of control You wait for something to undo these feelings Waiting and waiting, but it's out of control Scrap the blues if the blues don't work Flash your teeth, though the inside hurts Scrap the blues if the blues don't work Doesn't make you feel better, just makes others feel worst

Circuital-My Morning Jacket

You think you'll find yourself out there Out in the lion’s den In some bloody battle Over belief systems

Or disappear into the vacuum Total neutrality Where you can't lose nothing But nothing can be gained

Well anyway you cut it We're just spinning around Out on the circuit Over the hallowed ground Ending up in the same place That we started out

ANIMAL-PVRIS

When you cage an animal Their claws will start to show They're aimin' at your throat It's time to let them go When you cage an animal Their claws will start to show They're aimin' at your throat It's time to let them go

My Number-Foals

Now the wolf is knocking at my door Bang-bang, it asks for more Stand here, we stand tall We can move beyond these walls And I don't need your counsel And I don't need these city streets And I don't need that good advice 'Cause we can move beyond it now

Cornflake Girl-Tori Amos

Never was a cornflake girl Thought that was a good solution Hanging with the raisin girls She's gone to the other side Giving us a yo-heave-ho Things are getting kind of gross And I go at sleepy time This is not really, this, a-this This is not really happening You bet your life it is You bet your life it is Oh honey, you bet your life

Wolves Without Teeth-Of Monsters and Men

You hover like a hummingbird, haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world, sinking in my sea Oh, you're feeding on my energy, letting go of it She wants it And I run from wolves, ooh Breathing heavily at my feet And I run from wolves, ooh Tearing into me without teeth

Fox Confessor Brings the Flood-Neko Case

Driving home I see those flooded fields How can people not know what beauty this is? I've taken it for granted my whole life Since the day I was born

What purpose in these deeds? Oh, fox confessor please Who married me to these orphaned blues? "It's not for you to know, but for you to weep and wonder When the death of your civilization precedes you."

Entertain-Sleater-Kinney

So you want to be entertained? Please look away, don't look away We're not here cause we want to entertain Go away, don't go away

Reality is the new fiction they say Truth is truer these days, truth is man-made If you're here cause you want to be entertained Go away, please go away

Runaway-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I was feeling sad Can't help looking back Highways flew by Run, run away No sense of time Like you to stay Want to keep you inside

All alone Not so strong without these open arms Hold on tight All alone

History Repeats-Brittany Howard

I just don't wanna be back in this place again I mean, I done cried a little Tried a little, failed a little I don’t wanna do it again

I mean, I've already been I came and went I washed my hands with it I don't wanna do it again Don't push me

Anxiety-Lady Hawke

I’ve always been so cautious But I’m sick of feeling nauseous It’s not that I am losing This wall of my own choosing

Take me on a ride Show me how to hide the voice in my head Meet me on the road, tell me all you know I’m here on my own

Should Have Known Better-Sufjan Stevens

I should have known better To see what I could see My black shroud Holding down my feelings A pillar for my enemies

I should have known better Nothing can be changed The past is still the past The bridge to nowhere I should have wrote a letter Explaining what I feel, that empty feeling

Last Girl-Soccer Mommy

I want to be like your last girl She's the sun in your cold world and I am just a dying flower I don't hold the summer in my eyes

Maybe I'm just feeling like I don't have a chance this time 'Cause I don't have a chance this time, I swear

Help, I'm Alive-Metric

If we're still alive My regrets are few If my life is mine What shouldn't I do? I get wherever I'm going I get whatever I need While my blood's still flowing And my heart still beats

Taglist: @aldbooks @bookofmirth @brieq @bagelfyre @c-e-d-dreamer @cursebrkr @darling-archeron @damedechance @gwyns @gimme-mor @harrysringss @highqueenmorrigan @historiaxvanserra @ineffable-resplendence @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @krem-has-a-mess @kingofsummer93 @lidiacervos @moononastring @octobers-veryown @ofduskanddreams @panicatthenightcourt @queercontrarian @reverie-tales @asnowfern @spell-cleavers @separatist-apologist @thesistersarcheron @thelovelymadone @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @velidewrites @vanserrass @yazthebookish @mossytrashcan @emerieweekofficial @shadowsxgwynriel @shadowriel @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @archecosmo @bennylavasbuns @lilith-clawthorne-stan @tuzna-pesma-snova @andrigyn @lulling-night-sky @headcanonheadcase @moodymelanist @foreverinelysian

#emerie #acotar playlist project #pro Emerie #nesta #Gwyn #valkyries #here we go lesbians!#Spotify

76 notes · View notes

klouwolf · 1 day

Text

This song gives me such VaultGhoul vibes!

#vaultghoul #cooper howard #lucy maclean #fallout tv series #Spotify

9 notes · View notes

letsmakepoppunkgreatagain · 9 months

Text

PVRIS - Death Of Me

#pvris #alternative #letsmakepoppunkgreatagain #pop punk #lyrics #bands #emo #alt rock #emo lyrics #edit #my edit #jayelle

216 notes · View notes

onceuponastory · 1 year

Text

something sweet - bucky barnes x reader. chapter three: past lives

And I'm not spiritual, But please stay, ‘Cause I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel - St Patrick by PVRIS

Series Masterlist

Chapter Plot: Bucky tells Y/N the truth about being the Winter Soldier. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (soon) Warnings: Mentions of death, implied previous abusive relationship, mentions of Bucky’s past as TWS - including the brainwashing and mind wiping, and the anxiety, PTSD and nightmares he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers, let me know. Notes: Thank you again to @staticscreenwriting / @astartothemoon for my divider, and her help with this chapter! Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

Y/N’s brow furrows, and she nods. “Sure Bucky, what’s up?”

“You um. You better come inside.” He mumbles, his voice barely a whisper as he stands aside to let Y/N in. As she steps further into his apartment, Y/N looks around. Compared to her apartment, which is filled to the brim with all her pictures and other items, Bucky’s apartment is barren, almost empty, in fact. Compared to her home, it’s like a. A pillow and blanket lay strewn on the floor, and Y/N gasps. “Oh my god, Bucky, do you sleep here? On your floor?”

“Um… some nights, yeah.” Bucky admits. “When the nightmares get too bad.”

“Nightmares?”

“It’s a long story. Please, sit.” He gestures to the couch, the one purchase that Bucky’s actually glad Steve and Sam convinced him to get. Although, despite the admittedly pretty comfy couch, Bucky still prefers to sleep on the floor. He’s done it for so long by this point, he doesn’t really know how to stop, to give himself the comfort he knows he needs. Honestly, Bucky still doesn’t think he deserves good things in his life. Some discomfort and a lack of sleep is nothing compared to the pain and trauma he’s inflicted on some many people for so many years.

And now he has to tell Y/N about it all. Taking a deep breath, Bucky continues. “This is going to be a lot of information at once, so if you need me to stop, explain or even repeat something, you just tell me, alright?” Warily, Y/N nods. “Bucky, you’re scaring me a little.” She chuckles, and Bucky’s stomach churns. If she’s scared now, god knows how she’s about to react to this. She’ll probably never want to see him again. And the sad thing is, Bucky can’t even blame her for it. If he was in Y/N’s position, and someone he barely knew told him how they were responsible for so much death and destruction, he’d do the same thing. But although the thought of ever losing Y/N is enough to tear him up inside, he wants her to know the truth. From him, and nobody else.

“When Steve said it feels like he’s known me for what feels like a hundred years… he wasn’t lying.” Taking another deep breath, Bucky tries to ignore how much his heart is pounding, and how much he just wants to run away and ignore this.

But no. Y/N deserves the truth. He at least owes her that.

“Steve and I fought in World War Two together.”

“Bucky. That’s ridiculous, that would make you both-”

“Over a hundred years old, I know. I’m actually 106, and Steve is about 105. They gave us a super soldier serum that stunted our growth and helped us look so young.” Y/N blinks back at him. He can see it in her eyes. She thinks this is completely insane. Little does she know, he’s only getting started.

“No, Bucky. I’m sorry, but if this is a joke, it’s not funny.”

“Y/N, please. Listen to me. I swear to you I am not lying.” He begs. Immediately, Y/N stops protesting. With another deep breath, Bucky continues. “Steve became Captain America, and I helped him on a lot of his missions. Now, we’re part of the Avengers, a group of heroes dedicated to saving the world.” Well, Steve and Sam are Avengers, anyway. Bucky just seems to be one because of his association with them. To be honest, Bucky doesn’t think most of the Avengers want him around. Especially because of his past. And even though it hurts to think that... he knows he can’t blame them for it. What happened to him and the monster he became because of it are so intrinsically woven into his existence now. He’s always going to be the Winter Soldier, no matter how hard he tries to forget or atone for what he’s done. And people are always going to hate him for it.

“What about Sam?”

“He’s an Avenger too. He’s the Falcon. If you want, we can introduce you to the others.” Y/N nods, still clearly confused.

“So, let me get this straight: the three of you are superheroes, and you and Steve are basically immortal because of a serum?”

“Yes. But that’s not everything.”

“There’s more?” Y/N mumbles, her eyes wide. Reluctantly, Bucky nods.

“Back in World War Two, my unit got captured by the enemy, and they experimented on me. That serum they gave me? They forcibly injected me with it.” Y/N gasps.

“Oh my god, Bucky. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” Bucky registers her saying some more comforting words, but he blocks them out, too focused on finally telling Y/N everything. Although it’s strange, getting this out to someone who isn’t Steve or Sam, or just someone who already knows what he used to be, like the other Avengers… Bucky won’t lie, it’s quite freeing to get this off his chest. Most of all, though, it reinforces that what happened was never his fault, or his choice. Hopefully, he starts believing that soon.

“Steve helped me escape, but they found me again and took me back. And then….” Bucky’s voice noticeably begins to tremble. Y/N leans forward, reaching out a comforting hand for him to take. “They tortured me and wiped my memories. That helped them turn me into the Winter Soldier. That’s how I got this arm. I became their assassin, sent out to eliminate anyone who got in their way.”

“You mean, you….” Y/N stops herself before she finishes her sentence, almost like she can’t even bring herself to say it, to have her worst thought confirmed. Reluctantly, with tears building in his eyes, Bucky nods.

“Yes. I killed people.”

The room goes silent then. All Bucky can hear is the pounding of his heart, so loud it reverberates through his entire body. Meanwhile, Y/N’s mind races as she tries to take in all of this new information at once. One thought stands out: she was so sure that Bucky was a kind person, not at all like the people she’s met before. She thought he was safe and wouldn’t hurt a soul. Especially not hers. But this is not what she expected to hear from him. Her breath hitches. What if she gets hurt again? And this time by the one person she believed wouldn’t do it to her?

Turns out she was right. She really doesn't know people that well at all.

She looks back over at Bucky, tears already streaming down his face. “Y/N, listen-” he says, leaning in closer. Reflexively, Y/N flinches away, her hand losing its grip on his. Bucky’s face falls. The look of pain and guilt on his face makes her heart break.

Could someone like him, someone who looks so mournful, really be capable of such cruelty?

“I’m sorry Bucky, but this is… this is a lot of information all at once, and it’s so intense-”

“I understand. I just want you to know that I’d never, ever hurt you. That was a long time ago, and I’m working on making amends.” Already, Y/N notices that a part of her believes him. But she learned the hard way how being too trusting can backfire, and she’s not about to have it happen again. “I just wanted you to know the truth.”

“At least he’s being open about it and telling you the truth outright, which is more than you can say about others.” She thinks. Her stomach flutters slightly at the thought. Even though he barely knows her, Bucky cared enough about her to tell her this so she could make her own decision about whether or not to remain friends with him, and to make sure she felt safe around him. Maybe she was right to trust him.

“There’s something you need to see. If you’d like, I’ll take you there tomorrow. It’ll help explain things better.”

“Okay.” The words leave Y/N’s mouth without even thinking about them.

“God, this place is enormous.” Y/N whispers, and Bucky nods. The Smithsonian isn’t too busy this early in the day, something which Bucky is incredibly grateful for, because it means there’s less chance of him being recognised, which is the last thing he or Y/N need right now. They drove down earlier this morning, sitting in silence for most of the route. After talking and laughing together not even twenty-four hours before and finally feeling comfortable around each other, suddenly sitting in silence is awful. Bucky would give anything to have that moment back, to have things between them be okay again. But then again, there are a lot of if only’s in Bucky Barnes’ life. And he learnt a long time ago that his dreams don’t come true.

“It’s just up here.” He murmurs, gesturing for Y/N to follow him. As they approach the section they need, Bucky’s stomach churns all over again.

Steve told Bucky that they added a little section about him, including his time spent as the soldier, making sure to mention his pardon. But Bucky hasn’t seen it. He hasn’t been here in a long time. Not since he rescued Steve from the Potomac and came to try to find a link to his past. He doesn’t even know how long ago that was. He does know that some of his memories are returning, yet he knows that others are gone forever. And it’s fucking terrifying to have so much of your past and your identity ripped away from you without your consent, just for someone’s own selfish means. He’s never going to have those back, or be the Sergeant that he used to be.

Sometimes, if Bucky stares too long at his reflection in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of his old self, standing tall and proud in his Sergeant uniform, ready to go and save the world. If only he knew what was coming. But just before Bucky could reach out and touch the image, it would fade, and go back to showing him what he looks like now. Mentally and physically exhausted, the trauma of the last few years clearly affecting him.

That young, heroic image of Bucky stares back at him now, alongside pictures and videos of him and Steve, and with the other Howlies. Their faces adorn the walls, smiling and laughing. Their pictures are reminders of a happier time, and what Bucky could’ve been. Nobody could have known that when they took those pictures and videos, Steve was already on the path to becoming the hero, while Bucky was already becoming the villain. HYDRAs evil and their brainwashing were already seeping into Bucky, and he was further down this dark path than anyone could ever have known.

The pictures and videos make Bucky’s heart sink all over again. He knows Steve loves it here, especially seeing such a connection to his past, to their past. Bucky fucking hates it. He’s reminded enough about his past every night. He doesn’t need it staring back at him like this. He glances over at Y/N, her eyes wide and mouth open as she looks around the museum, taking everything in.

But she deserves the truth, and that means she has to be here, despite Bucky’s unease.

Bucky takes a step back, letting her go round alone and at her own pace to soak in everything and work things out for herself. And maybe it’s because he can’t bear to see his past again… especially after everything he told her. Although she didn’t want to think Bucky would lie to her, especially about something like this, actually seeing proof of Bucky’s story is helping this whole thing feel less crazy to her, and more real. Y/N takes her time, going round each picture and information board, making sure she takes it all in. After all, this is Bucky’s past, and he trusts and respects her enough to tell her about it. The least she can do is make sure she understands it fully.

Pictures of Bucky and Steve together stare back at her, smiling. There are others of them in a group (who she soon learns are called the Howling Commandos), of Steve and Bucky on their own, and even a section displaying the Howling Commandos uniforms. As she looks up at Bucky’s old uniform, his picture proudly displayed behind it, Y/N doesn’t even notice a smile making its way onto her cheeks. He was pretty cute back then. And besides, he doesn’t look that different now… and oh god, this definitely isn’t the time or place to be thinking this.

Whilst Y/N walks around, Bucky sits on a bench, anxiously twiddling his thumbs as he waits for her. He’s glad that Y/N agreed to come with him to this exhibition, especially after having all that information dumped on her out of nowhere. But he’s still terrified that after all this, she’ll come back and not want anything to do with him anymore, and see him for the monster he used to be. Or maybe even still is. After all, there’s no guarantee that Shuri and Ayo removed all of his programming. He could just be a time bomb waiting to blow, and he’ll do everything he can to stop Y/N from being collateral damage.

“Hey.” A familiar voice cuts through his thoughts, and Y/N takes a seat beside him. Bucky braces himself for what she’s about to say next. After living this life for so long, Bucky Barnes is used to disappointment, to people leaving him because of his past. And the thought of Y/N, who’s been nothing but kind to him since she met him, seeing him in that way and leaving him too tears him up inside. Deep down, he doesn’t care if the other Avengers don’t like him. He just wants Y/N to. “Thank you for bringing me here, Bucky. I’m so grateful that you trust me enough to know about this part of your past.” She smiles. Of course, most of his past is already spread throughout the internet and most history textbooks. At least this way, he can control the information she gets and how she receives it. Better to find out from a museum rather than a seedy tabloid. Bucky simply smiles, still waiting for the other shoe to drop, to tell him she can’t be his friend anymore after knowing what he did.

To his surprise, though, that doesn’t happen. Instead, Y/N asks: “Are you hungry? I think I saw a McDonald’s on the way in. We could grab an early lunch before the drive back?”

“Sure.” He nods, already feeling cautiously optimistic about how she hasn’t said anything yet. Maybe this is a good sign. Although, Bucky knows better than anyone just how wrong your life can go in no time at all.

A few hours later, Bucky and Y/N soon arrive home, both pretty exhausted after the long trip there and back. “Listen, Y/N. You’ve had to deal with a lot of intense information these past few days. I think you should take some time to deal with it first.” Bucky suggests. Y/N nods.

“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll um. I’ll see you around then, Bucky.”

“See you around. Remember, if you need me, I’m just at the end of the hall.” He chuckles awkwardly, and Y/N nods before heading back to her apartment. Sadly, Bucky watches her go.

It was a mutually agreed break. So why does it feel like he’s never going to see her again?

As the days go by and turn into weeks, so do the days that Y/N and Bucky spend apart. Y/N doesn’t mean to be away from him for so long. It’s just that her business classes are getting busier and busier as assessments and exams approach. And to be honest, she is glad to have some time to think things over. Because while she is incredibly honoured that Bucky trusted her enough to learn the truth about his past, there is still some uncertainty there. After all, Bucky used to be an assassin, one who must have destroyed countless families. And no matter how much she tries to tell herself that it wasn’t Bucky’s choice, and how caring Bucky treats her, that little voice in her head just won’t leave her alone.

“He’s going to hurt and abandon you, too. And you’ll be alone once again. But this time, he might kill you.” Soon, Y/N realises she needs help. And it needs to be from the two people who know him the best.

“Thanks for coming, guys.” Y/N smiles.

“No problem.” Sam smiles as Steve comes back with their drinks. Y/N offered to pay to thank them for their trouble, but they were having none of it and paid before she even pulled her card out, like the true gentlemen they are. Or rather, the two superheroes they are.

“So. How can we help?”

“Well.” Y/N begins, already feeling nervous, despite how nice Steve and Sam are. “I don’t know if Bucky told you, but he told me the truth about his past. And I mean everything about it.”

“Wow. He did say that he was going to do it, and that he wanted you to hear it from him… I just didn’t know he would tell you so soon.” Steve admits.

“How are you feeling about it?” Sam asks.

“I don’t know. I mean, obviously I feel horrible that he went through that without his consent, and I know it wasn’t his choice… but I just can’t see him like that, as a cold-blooded assassin. I mean, he’s always been so kind to me, but what if something happens, o-or he snaps?!” She expects Steve and Sam, Bucky’s two best friends, to be horrified by her admission, or to get angry at her for still seeing Bucky in that way. Instead, though, they simply nod.

“That’s understandable. Are you scared of him?”

“No.” Y/N admits. “At least, I don’t think so. I just… it’s a lot of information to get at once, especially when the information is so intense, and you’ve only known the guy for a few weeks, right?”

“Of course it is, and trust me, Bucky wants you to take it all in at your own pace. There’s no rush.” Steve agrees.

“It’s not just that. The thing is….” Y/N sighs, already feeling the heat of embarrassment rising through her body and settling on her cheeks. “I don’t want to go too into specifics, but I had a really terrible experience in a past relationship where someone wasn’t who they said they were. It caused me a lot of pain, and I cannot go through that pain again. I barely survived it the first time.” She chuckles awkwardly. “I don’t want to think he’d hurt me like that, but this news has just thrown me for a loop.” She explains, and the guys nod.

“You know, I met him when he was still the Winter Soldier.” Sam explains. “I saw firsthand the sort of person he was back then. And Y/N, please trust me when I tell you that Bucky now is so different from that. Did he tell you he’s trying to make amends?” When she nods, he continues. “Did he tell you that in order to do that, he’s made a list of every single person he’s wronged and is going to apologise to them personally?”

“No. No, he didn’t.” Y/N mumbles. Making amends by personally apologising to everyone is definitely not something Bucky would do if he was still a horrible person.

“Absolutely. I mean, I’ve known him for about eighty years, as I’m sure he told you.” Steve explains. “When I saw him as the Winter Soldier, he was like a whole different person. When HYDRA mind wiped and brainwashed him, they removed so much of his memory and personality. He wasn’t Bucky Barnes anymore. He was just a weapon, someone to use for their own gain. The things they did to him… it was horrible. It wasn’t him.” Steve murmurs, quickly drifting off as the horrors of the past couple of years replay in his mind. Y/N’s heart sinks. She found out at the exhibit that Steve was there when Bucky ‘died,’ and then the next time he saw him, he was trying to kill him. She can’t even imagine what it feels like, seeing your best friend going through something like that, and being unable to do anything about it.

“I’m sorry Steve.”

“It’s okay. It’s in the past now.” He murmurs, before fixing a smile back onto his face. Y/N wonders if he does that a lot. Fixing a smile and pretending you’re fine when really, nothing is. She’s a master of that. “But now, Bucky’s regaining his humanity, and who he was. And it’s so fucking great to see it. Although I don’t think the old Bucky will ever be back, the new one is pretty damn close. And Sam’s right, he’s completely different from how he was as the Winter Soldier. You know, he’s going to hate me for telling you this….” Steve chuckles, and Y/N’s brows furrow. “But god, Y/N, he’s so much happier now. The way he smiled when we got dinner together… I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bucky smile like that in my life, even back in the forties. And I think we have you to thank for that.” Y/N’s heart rate picks up, and she gasps. Yet, she cannot keep another smile from spreading across her face.

“Really?”

“Really.” Steve nods, and even Sam agrees. Y/N even feels her eyes welling up. Being told about the positive effect she’s having on Bucky by his two best friends is making her heart soar. “You know, I think you both have a positive effect on each other.” And then, Y/N realises that he’s right. She’s always been happy when she’s around Bucky, and he really seems to bring her out of her shell. And like she said, he told her the truth about his past, even though he knew she may never want to speak to him again afterwards, just because he cared about her that much and wanted her to trust him fully.

“Wow… thanks guys.” Y/N smiles. “I think I know what I need to do now.”

Later that day, Y/N stands in front of her mirror, checking over her appearance. Of course, her chat with the boys helped reinforce what she already knew in her gut: that despite everything he’s done, it wasn’t his choice. And it never would be his choice. Bucky Barnes is a good person, and he cares about her and her wellbeing. He would never hurt her. And now that she’s taken enough time to think it over, she’s going back to see him.

As she turns to leave, she makes eye contact with the picture of her and her aunt, the same one Bucky looked at. Y/N smiles. Her aunt would’ve loved him. And maybe, that’s all the encouragement and reinforcement she ever needed.

“I love you.” She whispers, gently pressing a kiss to her fingers and then touching her aunt’s half of the picture.

When she knocks on Bucky’s door, she registers her stomach twisting slightly. Hopefully he answers, and the time spent apart hasn’t convinced him he hates her. Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Bucky sighs, making his way towards it. He’s expecting Steve or Sam behind the door, on another attempt to get him outside. But all Bucky wants to do is sleep. Even though he swears that his nightmares have gotten worse since he told Y/N the truth.

“What is it, guys? I told you, I’m not-”

Bucky opens the door, and immediately Y/N’s senses are hit with the scent of his cologne. The smell makes her smile. She didn’t even realise how much she missed that scent, or how much she missed seeing him.

“Y/N?” Bucky gasps. He’s wearing a blue henley, one that covers his metal arm completely. The sight makes Y/N’s heart sink. Bucky doesn’t even have to tell her just how ashamed of his arm he is. It’s written all over his face, the memories haunting him. “Y-You’re back.” He gasps. The smile that grows on his face as he looks over her, realising that she is really there, makes her heart warm… and the same thing in her stomach flutters all over again.

“Hi Bucky.”

“W-What are you doing here?” Bucky gasps, his cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me again. Not after-”

“Hey, it’s okay.” She soothes, cutting him off. “I know it wasn’t your choice. And besides, remember when you said you wanted to help me with the shop?” Bucky nods, still slightly stunned by Y/N’s appearance at his front door. Honestly, she looks so beautiful that a part of him wonders if she’s still dreaming. “Well, I need to go get some paint… wanna help me pick a colour?”

A sigh of relief leaves Bucky’s lips, and his grin widens. Back when he said he didn’t deserve anything good in his life... maybe Bucky was wrong this time. Maybe, Y/N and her friendship can be his something good. “Yeah… I’d love to.”

Again, I’m not going to have a separate taglist for this story because whenever I’ve tried to make one in the past, it never seems to tag people. So please follow @onceuponastory-library and turn on notifications so you don’t miss any of the chapters!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #something sweet onceuponastory #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky x Female Reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction

66 notes · View notes