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nat20composure · 4 months

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Astarion and Agency- The Necessity of Discomfort to Self Discovery and the Infantilization of Victims

Minor Astarion discourse ahead that mentions the treatment of SA victims post-abuse:

I want to open this post up just with like. The statement that I don't think there is a correct way to enjoy media and that I LOVE to see individual head cannons and takes on characters in media. I think that is also, to a degree, an integral part of video games because of how unique the experience of playing a game will be to every person who plays it. But it has been making me feel so incredibly sad looking through fan content, art, or discourse for BG3 specifically because of how many people have taken the route of infantilizing Astarion.

I understand the instinct to shield or protect an individual that you love and care for. I also understand that because of the nature of the things that Astarion goes through, a lot of people also feel very deep emotional stakes in him. I'm one of the many fans of the character who is a victim of SA and CSA, I really do get it. That is also why for me personally it is so demoralizing to watch so many people treat him like he is a child who cannot make his own decisions or stand up for himself. Part of that frustration stems from it feeling like a media literacy issue, and the other part of that sense of defeat is just because it feels indicative of a broader attitude that people seem to hold towards victims of abuse, particularly those who are victims of SA.

To explain what I mean by people infantilizing him: I see so many people refuse to allow him the opportunity to be hurt, or to feel uncomfortable. They see this character who has been through an immensely horrible and traumatic experience, and their instinct is to try and shield him from anything else that has the potential to upset him. I get that the people who want that aren't doing it with malicious intent, but frankly it is not really...Helpful? To try and prevent victims from Experiencing Discomfort tm. I also think it kind of disregards the entire thesis of Astarion's character and arc.

When you go through something that robs you of your selfhood and agency, the world can become a crushingly terrifying place. In Astarion, that fear presents itself in a desperation for power, control, and at the core of both of these desires- Safety. One thing the game is clear about is that he has a right to kill his abuser. He has a right to escape his situation. A lot of Astarion's personal arc is centered around being able to finally do that. But the game doesn't just leave it off at getting him to safety. So much of it is also about him needing to take responsibility for himself and his actions, with needing to learn who he as a person is.

The inclusion of the Gur children and Sebastian as characters is a good example of ways in which the game gives Astarion the opportunity to take responsibility. I think that if the intention of the arc was meant to be that "Astarion should never ever have to deal with being afraid or uncomfortable again", then the Ascended arc wouldn't Come with such heavy moral ramifications, like sacrificing the other people just like him, killing the victims he lured in, literal child murder. The game infers that he doesn't deserve to die because of the things he Needed to do to survive, but it also makes it very clear that there is a difference between addressing an Active Threat and using your fear as an excuse to hurt others. Breaking that cycle of abuse when he finally gets the chance to is what separates Spawn Astarion from Cazador.

Taking responsibility for himself, and letting himself sit in the discomfort of vulnerability ultimately ends up being a thing that he is very proud of and cherishes. If you tell him you will make sure nothing like that ever again he himself says that he doesn't want you to be his protector. And so it blows my mind when people go into all of these discussions about Astarion with this...Weird moral high ground for never, ever making or letting him make choices that might hurt him?

I see this the most when it comes to discussions about the possible polyamorous relationship with Halsin and the interaction with the drow twins in the brothel. So many people are just...outright angry? At other people engaging with either of those options? And I feel like that anger is one) rooted in the projection of their Own feelings on non-monogamy and what a victim of SA can or cannot look like. and two) Relies on undermining the agency that Astarion BEGS you for at every turn.

When it comes to the drow twins, the game adapts Astarion's response to them based on where he is in his own personal development (a really cool thing imo). Obviously, if he still doesn't feel good or safe about engaging with sex he declines and says you can feel free, though he hopes you aren't just doing it because he hasn't had sex with you. I think this makes sense: He's just gotten out of a situation where his Safety and worth were directly tied to him having sex. I imagine he feels afraid that not wanting to have sex with you makes him replaceable or inadequate because at this point in the game, he feels like that's all he has to offer. The interaction is relatively the same if you ask him for a poly amorous relationship with Halsin: He just asks you to reassure him that you aren't only doing it because he hasn't had sex with you, and then tells you he isn't worried about it otherwise.

A lot of people have taken the expression of that insecurity in combination with him still allowing you to go forward and do these things as him just "sucking it up" because he's afraid of losing you. (I am aware Shadowheart says he wouldn't be able to handle it when you ask her if you can date both of them- But keep in mind, Astarion says she wouldn't be able to either, and THAT obviously isn't true of her. For the purposes of this discussion I'm only including interactions with Astarion as a judgement of his character.) I understand that concern, but I feel this take disregards so many other points of dialogue, and is also continually rooted in the baseline vilification of discomfort.

To further go into it, the way that he speaks about both of these interactions changes significantly if you speak to him about it once he is completely free from Cazador, and has had time to allow himself to start reconnecting with himself and his sexuality on his terms. He has absolutely No reservations about an open or poly relationship with Halsin, and says he trusts that things will be ok because he one) feels secure in Your relationship and two) Knows Halsin is experienced and trusts him to not be a messy bitch about it.

I think that shift, in combination with the in game explanation of why he isn't ok with being in that sort of relationship with the other Origin Characters (for Lae'zel and Wyll, he says they'd never agree to that. For Shadowheart, he says she's not experienced with open relationships and that he doesn't think it'd work out. For Karlach, that it would break her heart. And for Gale, he says you need standards.) is a pretty good indicator that he doesn't actually care about polyamory or monogamy. I think the vilification of that choice relies on you picking and choosing when you do or do not believe Astarion or just outright not liking non-monogamy in the first place. This interaction has more to do with the player's choice and comfort level, and so is not as important to the broader discussion I am trying to have in this post.

The interaction that is more pertinent to not Allowing him to make decisions is, I think, the drow twins. If you interact with the drow twins after the completion of the Cazador questline, he is outright giddy at the prospect of interacting with the Drow twins. Specifically stating that he is excited to see how he likes these sorts of things now that he's free.

NOW- I do NOT think that he enjoys the act. The game makes that abundantly clear, and I'm not arguing that he has a great time. He obviously does not, and dissociates during it. That being said, allowing this interaction to happen does not make a player evil or selfish. You are not playing the hero if you decide to moderate his choices just because you do not think he is ready for it. Once again, no one is evil for Not doing it either, and I am not saying anybody has to want to. I am just saying that treating this choice like it is an evil choice to make relies on completely disregarding what He wants to do.

Astarion says so many times in the game that he is anxious about finally having the freedom to find out what he wants to do, and I think that his excitement for the drow twin exchange is one of the opportunities the game gives him to make a choice. He makes that choice- And it sucks for him. He doesn't enjoy the act, and having done it he would be able to move forward knowing that. I think it's really cool and important that the game represents that facet of recovering as a victim. While you are trying to renavigate who you are, you are going to make a million new choices you never had before. And sometimes those choices are going to suck ass. It would be a different matter if he knew these things would hurt him and went ahead and did them anyway. But so many people expect him to move forward avoiding even the Potential of being hurt, and I think that is extremely reductive of his arc and who he is.

Beyond the matter of interpersonal relationships, the choice between Ascending or not Ascending Astarion is not a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. It is a choice between his fear and his humanity. Between letting his trauma and his fear define him for the rest of his immortal life, and allowing him the vulnerability of deciding who he is when he isn't running from the world. When he's willing to listen to the parts of himself that want to do right, that wants meaningful connection, that wants to be proud of himself. That wants to meet himself. To confront who he is when someone else isn't deciding that for him.

Astarion as a character is extremely ambitious, inquisitive, and adventurous, three traits that only become more and more evident as he breaks free from letting his own fear dictate how he lives his life. I don't understand how so many people can see him and want to take the core of his character away from him, when he spends the entire game fighting desperately to take it back.

Victims are not casts of the abuse they have gone through. Their shapes may be changed by the hands of others, they may have to relearn how to be the person they want to be. But they are not broken or irreparable or fragile. They do not need to be freed from the grip of one person to be held tight in the grip of another. It is so fucking unfair and self-important to think that your hands will be the ones that fix them. That your hands know better than theirs. I think the kindest thing you can do for a person is to trust them with themselves, and to listen when they tell you who they are and what they want. Please listen to the voices that have only just learned to speak. It is the only way they can get better at doing it.

#astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #I know this is kind of overdramatic #but like pls pls pls pls #ask yourself why you feel the need to protect victims from the experience of growth #and then consider if that attitude is a fair or helpful one #because freedom includes the right to make choices. even stupid painful ones.#that being said this essay is more for people who played the game exclusively making choices they thought would make astarion comfortable #like ascending him or not participating in polyamory #this essay is NOT for people who just ascended him for dom dialogue with him #bc I think it is a bit silly to tell people who wanted a toxic make him worse dynamic #that they are enabiling toxicity and making him worse #this is just an alternative pov for people who genuinely think it is for the best to do these things

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maesonc-artistic-adventures · 1 year

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Of Warriors and Gods.

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sad-emo-dip-dye · 23 days

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I think atsushi would be able to look directly at an eclipse with no consequences cause of his ability but he and others would forget about it so he’s just staring straight at the deadly lazer and kunikida is about to go full blown mother on him with the glasses

#‘where’s your glasses?’ ‘what glasses’#he gets a lecture on safety and protective eye wear #help him pls #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima #kunikida doppo

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kennahjune · 5 months

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the moment mike accepted steve into the party

he didn’t get it. what was so good about steve harrington?

yeah, he was good looking and strong. but other than that? nothing. in mike’s eyes, he was still the asshole rando that dated his sister. and he didn’t plan on that changing.

until march of 1985.

mike had been held back after class for falling asleep. it wasn’t his fault. he couldn’t ever sleep unless someone else was with him. and there was no way in hell he was gonna cuddle with nancy. besides, he was good at the class— so no need to pay attention really.

at least miss noelle didn’t call his mom.

dustin, lucas, and will were waiting for him in the hall. oh, and max, cause she was actually kind of cool.

“what was up with miss noelle?” lucas asked as they walked down the hall.

“pissed i fell asleep in class,” mike said dejectedly. max snorted from beside him.

“maybe just don’t fall asleep?” she asked rhetorically.

mike huffed and flipped her off. “you sound like my dad.”

dustin shuddered from his other side. “ew. not cool man.”

mike rolled his eyes. “it’s true! my dads always like ‘just don’t this’ and ‘just don’t do that’ instead of actually helping! It’s so annoying.”

will came up and bumped arms with him while they finally left the school. classes were done and they were finally left to do what they wanted.

“uh oh.” came from lucas. mike sighed, catching sight of what— or who— lucas was “uh oh-ing” about.

“just don’t look at them,” max said under her breath while she averted her eyes to the ground.

“that never works,” retorted lucas.

“you have any better ideas? just keep walking.”

great. the one day nancy or jonathan aren’t picking them up and they run into noah and joey.

in 1983, el had gotten troy and james to back off— even scaring them into moving. but el’s not here right now, so she can’t help with noah and joey— the party’s most recent tormentors.

will stepped closer to mike and mike nudged his hand with his. everyone pulled in closer to each other in hopes of concealing themselves and the others. of course, it didn’t work.

“hey hey! look man, it’s the circus!” mike saw noah nudge joey beside him.

“shit,” dustin cursed.

and ‘shit’ was right. no one wanted to deal with noah and joey. especially with the mood mike was currently in after being held up.

“seriously what hell is it, tanner?” mike addressed noah directly.

joey whistled lowly and took a sharp step forward. will and dustin both flinched pretty hard. max gave a twitch but lucas and mike held their ground for the most part. noah and joey got a kick laughing at dustin and will.

“awwww they’re scared, joey! like a bunch of babies!”

mike forgot how stupid kids sound most of the time. they could call him a baby all they wanted— nothing will ever compare to watching will get possessed and then watching bob die.

mike still reached out and grabbed someone’s hand. he thinks it was lucas’.

joey and noah were both a good bit taller than mike, which meant they were also a good bit taller than everyone else in the party. they liked to use their height to their advantage but mike had dealt with monsters twice his height. it wasn’t scary, just annoying at this point.

still didn’t help the fact that they didn’t want to deal with this.

mike had zoned out, because next thing he knew he was being shoved to the ground. it probably wouldn’t have hurt too bad if they weren’t outside in the parking lot. mike felt his chin bust on the pavement in a sickening repeat of ‘83 with troy and james.

will was there in a second with dustin, helping him up off the ground and dusting him off. dustin held his hands while Will held his face, frantic over the now gushing blood that he could feel running down his neck. he was trembling. why was he trembling?

he faintly heard yelling and assumed lucas and max were arguing with joey and noah.

“just fuck off, murphy!” he heard max yell at joey. “we’ve literally done nothing to either of you and yet you make us hate our fucking lives!”

“aww, noah, she thinks we actually care! isn’t that cute?”

mike stood up with the help up dustin and will. but that only served to turn noah and joey’s attention onto him. well. better on him than on max.

“so whatcha gonna do, wheeler? gonna push me like troy? gonna wimp out and go cry to mommy and daddy?”

mike actually considered pushing joey. but that’d probably just make thing worse. if el hadn’t been there last year to save his ass from troy mike would’ve gotten pummeled.

but it was a serious option he considered.

dustin stepped in front of mike and shoved joey back. mike didn’t even realize how close he’d gotten. wow. he was really out of it today, huh?

“back off murphy.”

mike wanted to hug dustin, but at the same time he wanted to smack him upside the head for putting himself in the way. it’s easier when they target mike. just let them target him. he doesn’t care at this point.

dustin stayed arguing with joey and stopped only when there were multiple shouts from max, will and lucas.

noah had pulled max’s hair and in return was shoved to the ground by lucas. but noah had taken will down with him and now will struggled with lucas and max to get noah off.

mike saw red, and in a moments notice had noah off of will and on the ground. he was vaguely aware of dustin and max cheering him on with dustin and will watching.

it didn’t last very long until noah shoved mike hard enough that he fell backwards and busted his head on the ground. again.

at this point he was working himself towards a concussion. just like steve, he thought deliriously. and speak of the devil.

“aye!”

mike, dustin, lucas, will, and max all looked up, startled by the familiar voice and claps.

“what the fuck are you shits doing, huh?”

steve fucking harrington was suddenly right next to mike on the ground, kneeling and helping him sit up.

“shit, you ok mike? that’s a nasty scrape you got there. i have bandaids in the car, let’s go get you one, yeah?”

mike just nodded. he really wanted to know what the fuck steve was doing there and why he seemed to intent on helping.

“who the fuck are you?”

steve stood with mike halfway to the car, the rest of the group following, mike noticed. joey and noah stood idly in the parking lot, seeming put out by steve’s sudden appearance.

steve’s eye twitched and mike watched him bite the inside of his cheek. mike watched in real time as steve recognized joey and noah and seemed to piece together exactly what happened. he scoffed. not what mike was expecting.

steve gently nudged mike towards the car and knocked his knuckles on dustin’s hat. “you kids go get in the car. max you can toss your board in the trunk.”

dustin seemed to want to protest but even he could see how pissed steve was. even max was keeping quiet. lucas and will were quick to follow instructions and headed to the car. mike was right behind them.

lucas tried the back door (knowing mike got shotgun for the bandaids and possible concussion) but the handle only wiggled. “locked.”

“did he give one of you the keys?” asked will.

they all shook their heads. they didn’t have to wait long until steve was back with them at the car.

“why aren’t you guys in the car yet?”

“locked.” informed will.

“ohhhh. oops.” steve unlocked the car and helped max put her skate board in the trunk. when he hopped into the drivers side dustin and lucas were hounding him with questions.

“why are you here?”

“I thought we were walking home?”

“what the hell was that?”

“what did you do to noah and joey?”

“settle down and shut up, would you? nancy mentioned you guys were walking home so I came to grab you. you’d think that after everything they’d be a little more cautious. and also, language, henderson. I am so not taking the blame when you end up slipping in front of your mom.”

“awww you were worried steve.” max teased.

steve scoffed. “‘course I was, red. and it turned out I had every right to be. anybody wanna explain what that was?”

suddenly the car was quiet.

steve clicked his tongue.

“fine. guess you’re all coming to my house, huh?”

there was a sudden uproar in questions and “what the hell?”s.

“listen! i’m not letting any of you shits go home until I one; know for sure mike doesn’t have a concussion—“ steve eyed mike and he felt himself flinch. “—and two; before I get the whole story.”

there was a bunch of grumbling from the backseat, but mike himself stayed quiet throughout the rest of the ride.

“oh! and mike—“ mike looked at steve briefly and barely caught the box of tissues tossed at him. “—put that on the scrape for now, yeah? I’ll clean it properly when we get to the house.”

mike nodded and held a wad of tissues to his chin.

when they pulled up to the harrington house, everyone was inside quickly. everyone went to use the phone in the living room to call their parents and when mike went to follow he was grabbed gently on the shoulder.

“can you head to the kitchen and grab out the med-kit? I need to make sure they don’t drive my bill up.”

mike knew it was meant to be used as a distraction. but he’d take it. so he headed to the kitchen before realizing he didn’t know where the med-kit was. he rifled around in the cabinets for a bit before finding it stored away under the sink.

mike pulled it out and waited at the kitchen island. he noticed that it was a pretty heavy kit. and it seemed to be used a lot judging by the lack of dust and how it had a couple of bandages peeking from the crease.

everyone piled into the kitchen, book bags dumped in the living room and shoes discarded by the door. will sat on a stool next to mike and dustin and max hopped on the counter. lucas took a seat on the other side of mike.

“ooookay. ah! there it is.” steve opened the kit and grabbed out a brown bottle and a few cotton balls. mike noted how he seemed to know where everything in the med-kit was as if he used it on a daily. he filed the information away for later.

“what’s that supposed to be?” mike eyed the bottle with weariness.

“just peroxide. it’s meant to clean the cut. I know for a fact that that parking lot is fucking filthy and I’m not risking an infection due to gunk in the wound.”

steve put a cotton ball to the open top of the bottle and tipped the bottle over. “i’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt, cause it does sting a bit. but it also definitely helps in the long run.” steve held up the cotton ball as if in question.

mike nodded and looked up, giving steve more room to see the scrape. mike gripped will’s hand and hissed when the cotton ball first dabbed, but the pain soon subsided.

“now this part isn’t too fun either but it’s kind of needed. how attached to that shirt are you?”

mike looked down at that faded, off-white with blue stripes shirt he was wearing. “not very. why?”

“ok, good. this won’t ruin the shirt but you might have to change is all i’m saying. I need to pour the peroxide directly on the scrape to clean it out properly. “

(I know that hydrogen peroxide actually tends to damage tissue and delay healing but they didn’t really know that in the 80s so bare with me.)

mike shuddered at the thought. “I don’t have clothes to change into.”

“I have an extra shirt in my bag.” offered lucas. “I had gym today.” he clarified when he got off looks.

“that’d be perfect, thanks sinclair.”

lucas jumped up to get the shirt and came back in with a white t-shirt with red sleeves. he set it on the counter for afterwards. lucas wordlessly took mike’s hand that will wasn’t holding.

it wasn’t long before the scrape was clean and steve was putting away the kit. while everyone else ran into the living room to watch movies and raid steve’s snacks, mike took the shirt and went to the bathroom to change.

when he came back out (after looking at the funny bandage on his chin— because seriously, what kind 17 year old just had dinosaur bandaids in their med-kit?) mike was quick to join everyone in the living room before steve could pull him aside again.

honestly? fuck that guy.

(but when mike sat between will and max on the couch he couldn’t stop thinking about how soft steve was when taking care of the scrape. he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how old he was when he last felt that gentleness.

the answer was 7. mike was 7 when his mom deemed him old enough to deal with his own cuts and bruises.)

steve eventually held out on his promise of getting information. and after their first movie he forced them all onto the couches while he stood in front of them.

“so am I actually going to get an answer this time?” he stood with his hands on his hips and a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. mike remembered this same stance from not even a year ago, when they were trying to talk him into going in the tunnels.

steve almost reminded mike of his mom for a moment. but mike doubted his mom would go this far if she ever found out about the bullying. (mike refused to admit that he liked the idea of steve fretting over them like this. the idea made him almost sick to his stomach.)

everyone refused to look at him. max looked dead ahead at the wall, lucas kept his eyes trained on the floor, will was messing with his jacket sleeves and dustin was paying extra attention to the ceiling.

mike chewed the inside of his cheek.

“what the hell do you wanna hear from us, steve?” he asked. “that we’re being bullied? that they picked a fight with us first? that we’re nerds and freaks and weirdos?”

will, dustin and lucas flinched with each insult. max refused to look at anything other than what mike assumed was the odd spot on the wall. mike saw steve’s left eye twitch— the one he was always getting punched in.

“that what they told you?”

mike scoffed. “that’s what everyone told us. we’re the school circus!” his voice raised at the end and will flinched violently next to him.

“mike..” dustin uttered from beside max.

“sorry.” he mumbled, finally letting his gaze drop from steve to the coffee table in front of them.

steve sighed quietly.

“noah tanner and joey murphy, right? they both have older siblings, noah an older brother and joey an older sister.”

that made head snap to him.

“what—“ lucas started.

“mitchel tanner and annie murphy are their names. mitch is on the swim team, annie on the cheer team. they’re both barely passing their classes and aren’t exactly the kindest either— in fact I watched mitch shove freshman into a door yesterday.” steve continued, his voice soft as if he was simply talking to himself.

dustin’s and lucas’ jaws were on the floor, max and will were looking at him as if he were insane.

“so— wait—“

“you know their older siblings?”

“what the hell does that have to do with anything?”

steve smirked. and mike was /scared/. he’d seen steve smirk before, when he was dating nancy, when he said something particularly bitchy.

but this. this smirk was plain /mean/.

“would be a real shame if.. I dunno, their coaches suddenly find out about the poor sophomores they make do their homework. or worse— principal higgins finds out. who are mitch and annie gonna blame then, huh?”

dustin sputtered, “you! they’d just blame you, wouldn’t they?”

steve shrugged. “sure. but then they’d know why I did it. their brothers fucking with my kids.”

he said it so calmly. as if it was just the plain truth. as if he wasn’t scared to admit it.

if this is how he’s treated, being of steve’s “kids”, then shit. he may not be all that mad after all.

steve pulled the towel off his shoulder and walked back into the kitchen, a call over his shoulder about ham and cheese sliders and chips for dinner.

but none of the kids were listening.

lucas turned dustin who turned to max who turned to mike who turned to will who looked back at all of them with the biggest grin mike’s ever seen on his face.

ok. so maybe mike gets the hype the steve harrington.

(and if the next week of school went by with no issues, with noah and joey looking at them in /fear/? well. mike had steve to thank.)

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chipsncookies · 11 months

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Pokemon Horizons fantasy AU where liko is a princess and friede is mercenary knight, amethio is a dark knight who wants to steal her and her pendant, roy is villager who wants to be a knight

#pokemon #pokemon horizons #amethio #friede #liko #roy #i got too into designingt #the armours bfbd even tho i know nothing #if u see mistakes pls ignore i just want to get my odeas across #but yeah there's a lot of swordfihgting and magic #and ame serves a dark lord and would do anything for him...#thankfully liko os protected even tho friede is so confusing bfhfbf #chips's work #fantasy au

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daily-hanamura · 5 months

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#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #MAN I SWEAR WHEN THIS CONVERSATION HAPPENED I WAS SWEATING BRICKS IN WORRY #anyway i forgot to save before speaking to yosuke so i dont know what the other options are BUT YOU KNOW YU HAD TO ASK IF HE WAS OK #thinking about that comic where yosuke was being harrassed by some punks #theres something about the way hes telling this story that feels like he was treating it as being incidental. as whatever.#like “oh yeah im fine?? anyway thats not the point of the story i wanted to tell you about how they were so terrified of kanji”#LIKE DUDE. BUDDY. YOUR LIFE WAS IN DANGER. DONT DISMISS IT LIKE THAT #the fact that bro came so close to being beaten up and it was a conversation that could have been easily missed #like if yu hadnt run into him at night was yosuke just going to... not bring it ip?#(yes of course he wouldn't you know what hes like!! he wouldn't want to be a bother on yu. nothing happened after all!!)#BBYGIRL PLS!!? YOSUKE MY BOY PLS RELY ON YOUR FRIENDS TOO....#anyway i think a yosuke protection squad should form they should start going home in pairs #he's good with his queue

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twiggyrogue · 3 months

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If it wasn't for the TMAGP ARG snippets I probably wouldn't be as obsessed about Sam but oh my goddd with what tiny we know about him I'm not over it. He's got a canon birthday (!!! He's 33 at the start of the show! It's p cool to know that tbh!) so we know when the Institute burned down, he was 9 year old. So at nine, maximum, he went through the Institute's child experiment. That's age he went through potentially a version of the Milgrim experiment! Mr. Spider whom, this child might have actively tortured someone because he was told to?? And that's probably the terrible event that was brought up in the interview but maybe it wasn't! Maybe it's something worse!! Oh no!!!

The guy scored the highest in empathy in the entire test group at 98% and now his job is experiencing other people's horrors like of course he can't help but look into them, of course he can't help but internalize them when Alice has warned him of what can happen, I'm so worried about this man!!!

#samama khalid #tmagp spoilers #tmagp arg #tbh i dont know how to handle the info we got from the ARG bc i still see them as spoilers for the podcast to those just listening?#so i just tag spoilers #also dont think im forgetting connor dyer but theres still a non zero chance that isnt Alice's dead bame #and i just cannot get a read on her yet weather her not knowing abt the institute is real #or just another way to protect herself #but yeah sam... almost know doubts he's marked already if that still happens in this universe #and for what end... another archavist...? or something new..... oh no.......#also he's just nice and needs to get back on his feet; what happened recently to make him so desperate for a job? :(#i could care less about potentially gay computers give me more of these new guys pls

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archersartcorner · 2 months

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Back in Far Harbor gang… I get they probably didn’t want to extend a cutscene where the player had no control out too long, but I do wish in the Acadia meeting that you can eavesdrop on they brought up Nick 😭 but they do Not so here’s me making up scenarios. The Usual. 😏

#my art #described #fallout 4 #dima #fallout 4 dima #nick valentine #also like the idea that Nick & Dima have internal fans and when they get Super Emotional u just hear WRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHDBDJ #also playing with the idea that po is a psyker/has a ‘sight’ equivalent that’s. essentially just in-game save-scumming LMAO #rly hoping that’s not an idea I’m accidentally stealing from someone. PLS lemme know if someone else has used that and I just Forgot 😭#but ye essentially when faced with the more decisive moments. Po might just pass out and ‘experience’ all of the options -#- (akin to garnets future vision in SU I’d say!) and that helps him determine the best path forward #thought sometimes when it’s a smaller decision he doesn’t pass out. just experiences some light fatigue and then -#- ‘oh ya btw that trunk is trapped. yea you’ll get blowed up if you just open it.’ ‘…. well thanks for relaying that .0001 seconds before-#-I opened it PO.’#but anyway. all that to say that’s what Nick’s referring to when he said po probably ‘saw’ it and then encouraged the path #po meanwhile is upstairs looking through faraday’s diary - I mean uhhhhhhhhhh the other secret stuff. def not his diary #anyway. DiMA’s not biological but there is an importance to him to him and Nick’s relationship. he’s stupid protective of Nick -#- who probably doesn’t appreciate being the ‘little’ brother all that much. but that’s just how DiMA’s rationalized their ‘roles’#I just like em hehe

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urdepressedslut · 9 months

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YOU CAN ONLY PICK ONE 👀😭

i don’t know how to choose without hyperventilating 😀

#can i have them all pls #literally all at once #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #the winter soldier #marvel cinematic universe #buckybarnes #marvel #bucky barnes my beloved #he deserved so much better #my baby i’ll protect him forever #💗💗💗#buckyyy 🥺

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i-want-men-i-cant-have · 8 months

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Min Ho x reader

No pronouns just you is used, friends to lovers

Another stressful week at attending KISS finally passed with practically your whole life revolving fully around the school. You decided you needed a hobby to take the stress off the heavy workflow. After asking one of your friends, Q, about fun activities that could help with stress and take your mind off of school he started gushing about his outdoor club and hiking saying, “joinmyclubandyourelifewillchangeinwaysyouneverthoughtof!” Or at least that's what you thought he said.

Getting up from your bed you grabbed some clothing you had picked out the night before on your chair and went to the bathroom to get ready not wanting your roommate's new boyfriend to see you changing, again.

Finishing in the bathroom you finished your morning routine and put the athletic clothing on. A light smile to your face looking at it remembering what Min Ho had told you when you went shopping.

Another gasp escaped his throat. At this point, you thought he was just trying to not go back to his dorm room. “What it that y/n! You look like a smurf who got drowned in hair dye! Do you have anything good in there?” His voice was harsh but laced with a teasing hint. You knew he didn't want you to look like, “a smurf who got drowned in tye die,” but it had been two hours of this and you think one of the employees is praying you two get hit by a truck on your way out from the pile of clothes you're going to leave.

He barged his way into the changing room and you gasped, “Hey, my bras on the floor-”

“So? Were friends aren't we?” He responded casually while digging around all the stores' clothes you had picked out for a hike. You scoffed and knew fighting wasn't going to work with him.

Min Ho dug around everything you pulled out scoffing and gasping at the endless amount of “worthless” clothes as he put it. “Wait here, you don't know what looks good on you.” He left as quickly as he entered and after two minutes of finding your bra and underwear hiding under the clothing you had been wearing he returned. “This. Then someone might notice you chon-nom.” He draped the top over your face and grabbed your hand to place the shorts on them. “And this jacket.” He grabbed one of the jackets and handed it to you again. The top on your face slowly fell off your face to reveal your face with an arched brow. Min Ho mimicked the face with crossed arms jokingly. “What?”

“Leave.”

“Why.”

“Because I'm getting changed.”

“That's not an excuse y/n.”

In the end, you had bought the outfit and it honestly was better than anything you could have picked out, but you would never let him know that. You looked in the mirror cupping your butt in the tight fabric of your shorts in your hands with a worried look. You did lightly regret letting him pick the shorts even asking if there were pants but he just said they were, “out of the stalk.”

Leaving the bathroom with the jacket placed around your waist you quickly said goodbye to her and her boyfriend of the week.

“Hey, Q!” You waved, lightly jogging to him and doing some warm-up stretches in the grass.

“Y/n!” He smiled with a small wave back. “Don't waste all your energy yet,” he teased.

“I would never.”

The trail was honestly beautiful, you had never seen anything like it. The clouds might have still been in the sky with the blue sky peeking out and a light mist covering the mountain path but it only added to the comfort of the walk. You stopped to look at the view of the school and took an inhale, your senses overflowing. The smell of the old bark of the trees with some water slowly dripping down its leaves, the still wet dirt that had a hint of mushiness but you still wouldn't call it mud, the smell of fog and damp grass. Your school work and family life had disappeared in the environment. Q was right when he told you it could change your life.

“Hey y/n, keep up” He turned back to look at you but a small smile stretched on his lips. “You like the view?”

“Is it always like this?” You turned to ask him.

“Most of the time. You never really get used to it.” He turned to look back at the city and his shoulders untensed.

“We should do this more.” You made your way over to him but a light scream from you made Q’s eye widen when he saw you take a step back and your footing get loose when a small animal ran past your legs.

“Y/n!” He tried to reach out for you but your body hit the floor and you muffled out another scream when your body rolled a few times. Luckily you were able to stop yourself from falling down the hill anymore but your body with filled with scratches and bruises. Some blood coated your arms and you winced bringing up your hands to look at them. They shook with cuts on the palm and fingers.

“Y/n! Are you alright!” He ran over to you and immediately grabbed you by the arm hoisting you up and over his shoulder. “Shit.”

“Y-yeah I’m fine.” You brought your arms to his shoulders to lightly slap him. “Let’s continue the hike.”

“What? No. You got hurt.”

“No, I'm fine. Just a little cut.”

“A little?” His voice got harsh and he repositioned you on his back. “We’re going back to my place. You can't keep walking you’ll open more wounds.”

“Q, I'm fine!”

“You're going to have to amputate your leg!”

“I’m fine!” You slapped his shoulder again. The two of you slowly made your way down the hill wobbling from side to side at times. You both got to his side of the dorm and he got out his key.

“Min Ho’s going to kill me,” he muttered under his breath almost going unnoticed by you. He finally opened the door and closed it, walking over and setting you down on the couch.

“Stay here, I’ll get the med kit,” Q tells you leaving for the bathroom.

“You have a med kit?” You ask laughing. You slowly relax on the couch and feel your body melt into the cushions until a loud voice interrupts you.

“WHAT! YOU LET WHAT HAPPEN TO HER?!” Min Ho’s voice echoed through the living room not even for a second before Q fought back.

“She’s not a kid Min Ho! She just fell!”

“And you didn't catch her?!”

“She was a few feet away!”

“You shouldn't have let her go with you in the first place!”

More incoherent yells left the bathroom until you hear Q barge the door open and throw the first aid kit at Min Ho’s chest. He didn't look at you as he stomped down to the front door opening and slamming it. The apartment was quiet as you sat on the couch. Min Ho’s sigh caught you off guard and you whip around to see him a few feet behind you.

“What happened?” You ask with a meek voice not wanting to sour the mood more.

“Don't worry about it,” he spat before widening his eyes. “Bastard.” He cupped your face and rubbed light circles on your cheek with his thumb. His eyes scanned your features and some of the cuts on them, his eyes darting to your lips before he stood up stiffly. “Let's go to my room.”

“What?”

“You. Me. My room.” He turned around a hand on the doorknob of his room. “Come here.”

You stay still looking at him.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he laughs. “Now, come here, idiot.” He enters his room and looks at you like a kicked puppy.

You sigh getting up trying not to wince at the pain shooting through your legs. He dramatically sighed and placed a hand on his hip, watching you patiently. “I'm not waiting here all day,” he groaned.

Your head snapped up to meet his annoyed face with an equally mad one. You couldn't help but slowly relax your face and bite your lip trying not to smile at him.

Finally walking over to him he places a hand on your shoulder but quickly takes it off when you flinch from his touch. Silently cursing yourself you look at him with apologetic eyes and he slowly places a delicate hand back on your shoulder guiding you to his bed.

He sits you down on the edge of the bed as he kneels down face to face with your scratted legs. He opens the med kit and puts some rubbing alcohol on a cotton swab. Gently grabbing your ankle with the pads of his fingers treating you as if you were made of the finest china.

He places a cotton swab on a cut making sure to not hurt you but when you wince his grip on your ankle tightens.

“How could Q-” He grits, clenching his teeth.

“It’s not his fault it's mine.” You quickly cut him off not liking wanting him to fight with his friend any longer.

“But you still!” He groaned and dragged a hand down his face not wanting to get mad at you or his friend.

“Just please let it go Min Ho. It’s my fault.” You say regretfully and place your hand on his cheek almost like a lover more than a friend. It almost feels like he leans into your touch but you immediately finch it back and grab your hand.

His eyes almost look sad before he scoffs. “Don’t go treating me like a roach y/n.”

“R-right.” You curse yourself for stuttering in front of him. There's no reason to have your cheeks heat up at him. You’ve known him since the beginning of KISS. He’s helped you study, and pick beauty products, and skincare. You’ve laughed with him, cried, felt real emotions with him. He’s made your self-confidence skyrocket and almost made you a completely different person. A person you wanted to be. Min Ho was your best friend. Right?

He shook his head and went back to placing the rubbing alcohol swab back on your cuts. It was completely silent except for the rapid beats of your heart you prayed he couldn't hear.

He slowly leans up once he's done and you come face to face. Only now did you realize how close he was. The almost nonexistent pours along his noes. The smell of his perfect conditioner and cologne. The soft breath fanning across your cheeks would make you push away anyone if it wasn't him.

“Min-”

“Don’t,” he said barely audible. His eyes darted down to your lips but quickly shot up to your eyes. The both of you slowly leaned in your eyes fluttering close and your lips lightly puckering. Your senses were overloaded when you left the softest lips on you. Your hands remained on the sheets not wanting to grab him and you softly pushed back against him your lips relaxing into the warmth of his own. He released a low groan and pushed back regretfully wanting to cherish the moment longer.

“I thought you liked Madison,” you panted out from doing almost nothing.

“Why would I? She’s, not you.”

@jasminesacademia ty for the request its so perfect for him

@no1aw @luvers-checks @chaotic-world-of-the-j j @angeliquecherie @angel-bi666 @Kay-0823 @timetoten @lovely-hao @nellyboosworld @kisspowy @purplelandsworld @saintomie @saesofficialwife @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @ihyperfixateoncharacters @universal-s1ut @floatinghanmi @weeklyobsessionslol @mimihiraijeon @urfavouritechocolate23 @kisstheskin @renatojr @gay-littlemushroomlover

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