#posts that make me smiles

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[mitwodlemi]

In the archives. Straight up beholding it. And what do I mean by it? Heh... well let's justr say... my statements.

#tma #the magnus archives #mimi makes art #fanart #digital art #theyre so sillay #tma spoilers #tma podcast #johnathan sims #martin blackwood #timothy stoker #tim stoker #annabelle cane #good omens kinda??? #also featuring me and my sister #jonathan sims #jmart #jonmartin #teaholding #smiling friends kinda?!?! #look pim meme #tweet #twitter #cross posted on twitter #i can imagine anything #tma shitpost #alright enough of my yammering #hope you all have a nice weekend :^)

[totally-sapphic-posts]

Imagine coming home after a long day and they just hug you. They hug you in a way that melts all the tension from your muscles, and makes the stresses of the day fade into some distant memory. It’s one of those hugs you feel like you could fall asleep in, but you don’t want to because you want to savor every ounce of it even though you know you’ll get a million more of them

#post #I forgot what I was typing because my partner made me smile and all thoughts disappeared #why does my partner make me dumb 💀 #I feel like someone in one of those Disney movies when they talk to their crush and their brain malfunctions 😂 #so the words in this post aren’t exactly what I wanted to type but I can’t remember what it was 😂😭 #wlw #wlw blog #wlw post #wlw textpost #wlw sapphic #wlw yearning #useless wlw #sapphic #sapphic blog #sapphic post #sapphic textpost #useless sapphic #sapphic yearning #lesbian #lesbian blog #nblw blog #nblw #wlw pride #lesbian post #useless lesbian #nblw post #nblw textpost

[x-i-l-verify]

Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.

Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.

-

Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.

-

Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.

-

This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.

-

Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/

But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #smiling critters #dogday #catnap #picky piggy #kickin chicken #hoppy hopscotch #bobby bearhug #craftycorn #bubba bubbaphant #xi writes #tbh that 'slow and steady wins the race' comment makes me really wish Kickin' Chicken was a turtle instead #just to drive home that parallel even further #ngl i've been thinking about making this post for ages but i finally got off my butt and did it #me holding the Smiling Critters like Marge Simpson holding a potato: I just think they're neat! #it'd be a shame if the game company that came up with them never DID anything with them HUH MOB GAMES? #mob games don't walk away from me #MOB GAMES GET BACK HERE I HAVE THOUGHTS-

[linoguy]

skz smileys

#OKAY ty to everyone for sending me pics sorry if i didnt use them </3 #ANYWAYS LOOK AT MY BOYS this post was so devastating to make #big smiles ough #chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #seungmin #felix #i. #i.n #m

[bacchuschucklefuck]

she turns, makes direct eye contact with you, smiles,

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #kristen applebees #kipperlilly copperkettle #buddy dawn #cw: blood #cw: gore #cw: violence #hello this is the first post on this blog. welcome. I need to offload my art somewhere outside of my usual sphere #anyways yeah. yeah #I just think making direct eye contact with the person your murder victim is supposed to mirror before murdering them is kinda vibe #thinking abt kipperlily and kristen and how kipperlily was meant to be riz's foil but #genuinely kristen works so much better as foil for her instead. like how would beardsley ever not have swooped in to steal this off of #murph's plate. order vs chaos. embracing the rules vs rejecting them for having always fallen through the crack by your nature #so my busted ass brain saw this moment of kipperlily KILLING kristen's foil and I went insane like she took him out of the equation #HE is no longer kristen's foil. KIPPERLILY is now. deranged I need to draw this Immediately #kristen seeing kipperlily with true sight... smiling at her..... the interference that now narratively connects them do you see #can anyone hear me. hello

[mehh141]

Barry Sloane being adorable (mostly just smiling and laughing) on Dan Allen’s interviews 

2021/2022 

#it took me fukin eternity #to make those gifs #i made 70 #just to post 6 #god im so down bad #i love his smile so much #senf help #barry sloane #barry gifs #captain price #captain john price #john price #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty #john price x reader #cod mw 2 #cod #Call Of Duty MW2

[derpycatsu]

i am still really abnormal and irregular about this game btw. if you even care

decided to draw more headcanony things too :-D first drawing is based on reincarnation apple by pinocchiop because i had it on repeat for over a week LOLOL

#volo is such a character i need to put them in every situation possible #he/she/they volo is probably crazy but it just makes sense to me #and the clan leaders are very transgender. in my heart #i havent played it in a bit since ive been busy but….. im going to try to 100% the game…… wish me luck guys #sorry i havent posted my art in a while LOL i um. i forgot #expect an originshipping post at some point………. smile #pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pla #volo pokemon #pokemon wielder volo #warden melli #warden mai #clan leader adaman #clan leader irida #cogita #felix art

[duckshuffled]

⚠️ severe weather! ⚠️

bonus worth 100 dollar

#ttcc #toontown corporate clash #corporate clash #rainmaker #misty monsoon #hi. pretend it didn't take me 4 months to post anything ok? #i finally got around to making a design for misty (challenge because i never draw humans) and wanted something to show for it #and then i spent way too many hours staring at this canvas. free me #aside from that i am really proud of how this turned out it was a lot of new things for me. so yay! #i am also happy with their design in a full piece. it's not very different but i liked looking up weather-related instruments anyway #umm go see pearl squidslugs for more of this design bug beat me to it. ok smile #my art

[rushinintolove]

insp:

#good omens #goodomensedit #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #long post #myedits #that comment made me stop dead in my tracks adhsfjksd #the way aziraphale goes from the passive “may you be forgiven” to the active “/i/ forgive you” !!! #while making this set i was really surprised by all the facial expressions in the lead up/after the forgive you's especially crowley before #he says the “dont bother” the way he almost smiles before raising his eyes up oh #(which is why i really wanted to include them even though it made the set a bit long hhhh) #shoutout to catabasis for suggesting making 2x2s to reduce size <33 (ik you meant all of them but i couldnt quite bring myself to make the #ones of the forgive-you's that small bc of the focus on their faces haha oops)

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #WEAR HEADPHONES. PLEASE. PLS. SAVE YOURSELVES. #suggestive #<- if i use a 'stronger' tag than that im 99% sure the post gets shadowbanned from showing up in the tags? #never ask me for anything ever again. #why did he say any of this #i dont know. #surely this will make people unfollow #or will it do the opposite #at this point. i have no idea #animals. all of you. ANIMALS. its ok im one too. we're in hell (together) #i didnt make the gif im sorry all i know is that its from twitter #yeah sorry for the recycled audio. i only have the 2 whimper clips...... so far. #but the actual talking parts are all new #i want to see that angel obliterated. send tweet. #smiles. evilly. #i dont know about you guys but im normal #anyway #if he somehow ever finds out about this blog im krilling all of u............. pls............ #he cant know we are farming clips #(mostly joking) but yeah id prefer if this didnt spread past tumblr pls omg #we are past 700 followers now. idk what to say other than. wow. #ok surely no one is reading to this point. bottom gabe real. canon. true. thanks. #lets never speak of this again

[clotpolesonly]

Call Down The Hawk - Maggie Stiefvater / Graywaren - Maggie Stiefvater / Peinture 324 x 181 cm - Pierre Soulages / The Son Of Man - René Magritte / Graywaren - Maggie Stiefvater / Graywaren - Maggie Stiefvater

#tdtedit #declanedit #ronanedit #Declan Lynch #Ronan Lynch #TDT #the Dreamer Trilogy #TRC #the fact that Ronan - Declan's BROTHER who has known him literally their entire lives - has both never seen Declan cry #AND never seen him truly unreservedly un-self-consciously smile #is goddamn tragic #but the true emotional resolution to the series for me is that Ronan sees both of these things in the last chapter #both Declan's grief and his joy #displayed openly where Ronan is allowed to witness them for the first time instead of hidden carefully away #like many many other things about this series #it makes me wanna GODDAMN CRY adlfkgj #quote posts

[zivazivc]

So in the second movie we see poppy and branch get, basically drugged by smooth jazz. Do you think different kinds of music can be like drugs to trolls who aren't off that genre? I'm just thinking about floyd & his ex band mates just getting high after putting on a funky record

I can't explain to you how much i love this ask, Sapphire! Like it made me obsessed sljhfdjd I was focusing so much on that ringpop pacifier from the third movie and thinking of other troll drugs I could come up with (like sour worms lol) that I completely forgot about smooth jazz!!

Eventually Floyd got up like in a trance, started dancing hippie-style, tripped over his own feet, and never got up

Floyd is still 14 here and they are all morons. Also I think Floyd would in general be much more affected by this genre because he doesn't have any Rock Troll blood like the rest of them. Slowly they will learn through morally dubious trial and error... Pray for them.

the records Flea borrowed:

#they started with light my fire #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls floyd #ex bandmates #they're not stoners but they won't pass on a chance like this lmao #they're more about going out to party and doing stuff that gets your blood pumping #my art #answered #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls oc #hed #les #flea #liv #also sapphire this is probably as good a time as any to thank you for all the great tags you leave under my posts #they always make me smile :D

[fumifooms]

Kaka compilation

Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!

Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).

In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.

#The twins are so autistic swag #A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing #They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me #I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing #LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u #I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight #But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out #Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too #Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kaka floke #Kaka #Kiki and kaka #floke twins #As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era #ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME #KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE #KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD #Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman

[lemongogo]

#wyll #wyll ravengard #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #my art #larian job openings but none for wyll fanartizt … hmmm…. #.. change that and get back 2 me ok. … #anywyas . <looove saying anyways ~ #rediscovering this brush and its kind of fun tbh.. i love the patchiness of the marker but this is soo round and full #and i like the opacity shift on the ends bc it looks so smooth .. like the subtle blending #do u see the mizora .i almost drew her w but i didnt want to make wyll scowl and you know he doesnt gaf abt her like thagt so. #aug.anyways . im soo soeepy .tired snzzz snorrkkmimi #MANN!!!! i havent played since they fixed the wyll glitch and i want to soosos soo bad (crying hamster pic) #k mneed to . draw more fomplete stuff again sry for headshot soft smile number 332 #this feels more him to me .. i dont like the first pic i posted . whichever one is colored #🫵🫵🫵 i cant render faces for shit w color .woe is me #on the right track though i do like this 1 more . not there yet but SOON.for wyll at least HELPPPP i drew a few astsrions and shadowhearts #but no1 else ..

[justaz]

merlin’s secret being a visual thing. when he is around arthur or gwen or leon or morgana or [insert whatever character here] merlin seems pale and thin, almost like a ghost or an apparition. when the sun lands on him he reflects it like a corpse, he eyes seem dark and dull. he has this ethereal beauty to him, this otherworldly visage that leads many to believe he is of fae blood. he just doesn’t seem to be 100% human. but when he is ONLY with lancelot or gaius (cough or gwaine bc gwaine DEFINITELY knew) merlin is heartachingly human. merlin shines in the sunlight, colors are brighter and more vibrant around him, and his smiles are wide and his laughs are boisterous. he takes on color and leaves everyone wanting to know him. but when other join in or interact with the two, merlin shifts before their eyes so quickly and suddenly that they aren’t sure whether or not what they saw was a trick of the light. the idea still leaves them wanting more and wanting to see the merlin who is just so full of life but that merlin only appears for a small select group of people. merlin who has a guard so high that it has an effect of other’s perception of him.

#arthur is absolutely steaming about this btw #he so desparately wants to be in the golden bubble around merlin in those moments #but his mere presence seems to pop it #hes fuming #its not until after the magic ban is repealed that everyone gets to see the glowing golden merlin #and they finally realize what the trick of the light was #merlin who is magic incarnate who (no matter how hard he tries) cannot fully repress what makes him him #arthur who finally gets to be in the golden bubble and its so much better than he ever couldve imagined #merlins magic is finally able to roam free the way it only could with a few people #merlins magic who absolutely adores arthur and is constantly reaching out for him even if him and merlin arent in the same vicinity #lmao arthur bringing up how merlins magic likes to card thru his hair and ease any sore muscles he may have #and lancelot and gwaine going ‘wtf? what about my muscles and hair?? merlin hates me?? merlin is playing favorites???? jail.’ #bbc merlin #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #merthur #subtle magic my beloved #visibly Strange merlin my dear #idk i was thinking about pre-magic reveal!arthur watching merlin and lancelot talking and then pouting and going #‘why doesnt he smile and look at me like that? :(‘ #and then post-magic reveal!arthur having a moment of realization and going #like ‘oh hes hiding a huge part of what makes him him. i only know half of my best friend.’ #and then setting out to know ALL of him bc arthur and merlin are soulmates and in love and two sides of the same coin and best friends and- #im going thru my drafts and finding so many banger posts #idk why i never posted them LMAOO