#posting this as a reminder to self to elaborate on this later

[comradekatara]

revolutionary girl utena color symbolism: an incredibly complex tapestry of coherent and consistent signs and motifs

atla color symbolism: extremely basic and yet somehow inscrutable

#posting this as a reminder to self to elaborate on this later #it’s smth ive always been confused by but lately it’s been. haunting me

[dualitysdownfall]

The existence of "fine art" implies the existence of "coarse art". This thought originated as a joke but I think it genuinely means something I just don't have the time and focus at this particular moment to elaborate

#Interact with this post to remind me to elaborate later #For now: My fully rendered charcoal self portrait of myself being pulled in different directions by string around my wrists is fine art #(at least. as fine as mine can be) #My lifetime archive of fan art is coarse art #harper babbles

[floralcyanide]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍɪɴᴅ — ᴄᴀʟʟᴜᴍ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇʀ

callum turner x fem!reader (nsfw)

In which a chance reconnection with your ex, Callum Turner, brings you to his hotel room- and he talks you through more than just your breakup.

✣ warnings: smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, language, female anatomy described, nipple play, finger sucking, fingering, mutual orgasm, love confessions

✣ word count: 2.7k

✣ author’s note: I wrote half of this weeks ago and just finished it. hope ya'll enjoy ((:

masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune

based on this song | the death of peace of mind - bad omens

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

The last thing on your mind today was running into your ex, Callum Turner, yet here you are. 

He’s sitting adjacent to you in the script reading session for your new movie- and you had no idea of the cast until today, so seeing him was an absolute surprise. You try your best to remain neutral and keep yourself from looking at him, but you find yourself glancing up at him frequently. He looks great, of course, which makes it hard not to stare. You remind yourself Callum is an ex for a reason and focus on your turns to read the script. Callum had broken up with you because he had found himself unsure of his feelings and hadn’t elaborated further on it before leaving. So, you have struggled for a while with self-confidence and identity. It’s not entirely his fault, but not knowing how he felt for you during your relationship did something to you emotionally and mentally. 

When the reading concluded, you tried your best to make a clean getaway, but Callum’s long strides and quick maneuvering skills got him to you in the hallway in record time. A gentle hand is placed on your shoulder in the sea of cast and crew exiting.

“Long time no see,” Callum flashes his brilliant smile at you once you turn to face him.

“Yeah,” you half-smile, “Sure has.”

Callum stares intently into your eyes for a few seconds longer than usual before he notices he hasn’t responded. He visibly shakes his head out of his mess of thoughts, “How have you been?”

“Could be better,” you shrug, “But I’ll be fine, always am.”

You keep your answers brief, with as little to go on as possible. 

“Would you like to meet at my hotel for coffee later? There’s a cafe in the lobby that’s pretty good,” Callum scratches the back of his neck, “I just need to talk to you about something and would rather do it somewhere other than the corridor,” he laughs nervously.

“Oh,” you purse your lips, momentarily looking down at your feet before answering, “I don’t know, Callum. Is it really a good idea for us to talk outside the set?”

Callum clears his throat, “Well. I was hoping to talk to you about that, actually. See, I didn’t tell you everything when we broke up about how I felt, and I think you deserve to know, ‘s all.”

You sigh, “I suppose knowing wouldn’t hurt, even though it’s been a year already. Why didn’t you come to me sooner?”

“I was afraid,” Callum admits, “I thought you hated me.”

You frown, “I don’t hate you, Callum. I promise.”

Callum brightens, “So you’ll meet me at the coffee shop? Tomorrow, maybe? Ten in the morning?”

“Fine,” you agree, “Tomorrow it is.”

Callum gives you the hotel’s address and leaves you in the hallway, turning as he walks away to wave goodbye.

You’re laying in bed that night staring at the ceiling. You still love Callum; don’t get yourself wrong. But if he didn’t feel the same, why entertain it? Besides, it seemed like he never really felt that way for you, and that’s why he dipped last year. At the same time, however, you don’t know that for sure because Callum didn’t tell you much. You guess you’ll find out more tomorrow. You roll over and will yourself to sleep.

You definitely need the caffeine upon waking the following day from tossing and turning all night. You get ready and take a cab from your apartment to the hotel Callum is staying at, nervous the entire ride there. When you arrive at the cafe, Callum is sitting on a couch by the window, aimlessly scrolling through his phone, waiting for you. He hopes you come and don’t change your mind.

“You made it!” Callum grins as you walk in, and he stands up to greet you with a kiss on the cheek. 

Your entire body burns at the contact, but you try your best to push your feelings aside, “Of course I did.”

The two of you order and return to the couch, where you hesitantly sit beside Callum, his thigh touching yours. You find it familiar and comforting but, at the same time, very nerve-wracking. 

“So,” Callum turns to face you, “Do you mind me explaining everything? I promise you don’t owe me your time; I just feel you deserve to know why I left.”

“I don’t mind,” you say honestly, “In fact, I’d feel better hearing it.”

“Alright,” Callum nods, “To be honest, I was scared. I had feelings for you I had never felt for anyone before, and I didn’t know how to handle them.”

You focus on Callum’s words, carefully turning them over in your head, “I understand.”

“I loved you, you know,” Callum rubs his palms on his thighs, a nervous laugh leaving his lips, “And I fucked it up.”

You stare at him wordlessly, unsure of how to respond.

“Still do, actually. Love you.”

Your ears begin to ring, and you almost don’t hear your names being called for your coffee orders until Callum stands up and walks over to retrieve them. He loved you? Still loves you, rather? Your facial expression- one of shock- is still apparent when Callum sits back down next to you and offers you your drink.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” you exhale the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, “I just didn’t expect that.”

“You don’t have to return those feelings, by the way. I just needed to tell you that’s how I felt then and still feel now.”

“Despite leaving me a little lost a year ago, a part of me still loves you too, Cal. But I don’t know what to do with that.”

“It’s up to you, sweetheart. We don’t have to do anything if that’s what you wish.”

“How do I know you really love me?” you blurt, shocking yourself with your words.

Callum puts a hand on your knee, “You can trust me, or I can prove it to you.”

Clutching your untouched drink in your hand, you wonder what he could mean by that.

“Prove it how?”

“You know a thing or two about that, I think,” Callum says suggestively, and your body burns like fire again.

You scoff, “I do. But how do I know you won’t just up and leave again after? Hmm?”

“I won’t,” Callum grabs your unoccupied hand, “I won’t this time, I promise. I don’t think I could leave you again.”

“Okay, then,” you admit defeat, “Show me just how much you really love me, Mr. Turner.”

Callum leads you to the elevator, where he presses the floor button and stands beside you, eyeing you up and down. When the doors close, he pulls you to his side as he finishes his coffee. You rest your head on his arm, sipping your own drink. Callum’s hand grips your waist, his touch hot even through your clothes. You're nearly shaking with nerves when you reach the top floor. The two of you had your go-arounds while together, of course. But it was never anything emotionally charged. You’re hoping Callum really does show you how much he loves you this time and doesn’t leave you hanging. He lets you follow him to his room, where he fumbles to unlock the door with his phone. Callum heads to the windows to close the drapes, his back muscles rippling under his shirt, much to your delight. He turns around and catches your gaze, maintaining eye contact with you as he returns to where you stand. Callum wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you to him after you sit your coffee down. He is taller than you, so you have to look up at him when standing so close. A closed-lip smile spreads on his face as he takes in your features. Callum pushes a stray strand of hair out of your face before leaning in.

“Do you want this?” he asks, his lips barely brushing against yours.

“Yes,” you whisper, “I do want this. Prove it to me.”

Callum captures your lips with his finally, and everything negative you felt about your relationship falls away. The comfort you’ve always found in him flows back into you as he guides his tongue along your bottom lip. Callum’s hands find your hair, where they tangle themselves in your locks for leverage. You allow him to explore your mouth softly as if it was his first time in uncharted territory. Your arms are around him, and your palms are settled on his back as he slowly moves the two of you over to the giant bed in the middle of the suite. You sit on the edge of it as Callum pulls his shirt off. He’s a little more muscular than the last time you saw him. You drink in his broad shoulders and toned chest, his thick biceps resting by your head as his fists dig into the mattress on either side of your legs. Callum is leaning over you, his demeanor shifting to something more dominant. He kisses you again before his hand moves to your chin, tilting your head to meet his gaze.

“Go lay on the pillows and get ready for me.”

A surge of excitement rushes through your veins as you nod, moving backward to where the pillows sit at the top of the bed. You peel off your shirt and jeans, kicking them off the side of the bed onto the floor where your shoes are haphazardly lying. Callum climbs over you, taking in the sight of you. He lays beside you, patting his spread, underwear-clad thighs for you to sit. You oblige, his chest pressed to your back as you relax into his embrace. Callum’s large hands rub over your hips and legs, his skin hot against yours. He buries his nose into your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your shoulder and up your throat. Callum then lightly traces your jaw with his tongue before he reaches your ear, nibbling the shell of it. His hands travel from your thighs to your hips, all the way up your sides, until they reach your covered breasts. He squeezes them as he sucks a mark behind your ear, out of sight. You squirm lightly in his lap, inhaling sharply through your nose at the feeling of his teeth on your sensitive skin. Moving your hair out of the way from your ears, Callum continues his assault of bites on the back of your neck as his fingers slip underneath the cups of your bra. You hum as his fingers toy with your nipples, your head tossed back against his shoulder as he does so. This gives him more access to your neck, where he leaves open-mouthed kisses on the skin there. You feel him grow hard against your tailbone as he twists and rubs your sensitive nubs, eliciting moans from you.

“I miss the way you say my name,” Callum whispers in your ear, letting one of his hands travel back down to your stomach, where he slips a hand beneath the band of your underwear, “Say it.”

“Callum,” you gasp as his fingers ghost your heat, lightly brushing against your clit.

“Just like that, doll,” Callum grins into your shoulder, where his lips press to your skin.

He helps you out of your underwear, pulling it down your legs until you’re able to kick them off. Callum tosses one of your legs over his thigh, giving him easier access to you. You reach behind your back to unhook your bra, throwing it off the side of the bed.

“Kind of unfair that I’m the only naked one,” you frown.

“Be patient, I want to play with you first,” Callum kisses your cheek.

He prods your lips open with two of his fingers, allowing you to suck them in. You lave your tongue around them, coating them with your spit enough for Callum to be satisfied, “Good girl,” he coos.

He then gently circles your clit with his two slicked fingers, and your hips buck involuntarily. He uses his other arm to press you firmly against him. Callum continues to play with the bundle of nerves before letting a finger test your entrance to gauge how wet you’ve become. He’s able to slip a finger inside without struggle, curling it against the familiar spot that makes you groan. As he adds another finger, you grip Callum’s arm as his fingertips massage your g spot. 

“Callum, please,” you whine.

“Please, what?” Callum feels himself getting painfully harder against your back at the sounds you’re making, “Gotta use your words.”

“Show me how much you love me,” you beg, “Fuck me already.”

“Impatient, are we?” Callum smirks before removing his fingers from you and putting them in his mouth this time, relishing the wetness of your cunt, “God, the way you taste,” he moans.

Callum moves you over and off his lap so he can remove his pants and underwear before hovering over you. He braces himself on his arms on either side of your head, bringing his face to yours, “Are you sure you want this?” he asks again.

“Yes,” you say, grabbing his face and looking him in the eye, “I want this.”

“Not that your begging wasn’t enough; I just needed to hear you say it,” he jokes, lining himself up to your entrance.

You playfully smack his chest before digging your nails into it as he pushes inside you slowly. You wrap an arm around his neck, tangling your fingers into his hair. Callum fully seats himself inside you, his forehead pressed to yours. You wrap a leg around his waist, pulling him closer to you. Callum focuses on breathing properly, as your clenching around him makes it hard not to pound you into the mattress. You wiggle your hips a little, letting him know he could move. Callum holds your hips up, moving your legs over his shoulders to get a better angle. He pulls out just enough to thrust back in, gaining a steady rhythm. The noises you let out just urge Callum to go faster and harder as he kisses along your thighs.

“I love you,” Callum says, biting down on your thigh and causing you to yelp, which makes him grin.

“I love you too,” you say breathlessly, your hands gripping his biceps for leverage.

“Do you believe me when I say it now?” Callum bites his lip, feeling your walls clenching harder around him.

You’re close, and he can feel it. He reaches between your bodies and presses a thumb to your clit, rubbing tight circles against it.

“Yes,” you say, almost illegible, “Fuck, I believe you, Cal.”

“Good,” he pants, sweat beading on his forehead.

Your fingernails dig into his muscles as you feel yourself about to let go, your stomach tightening into a knot. Callum feels his orgasm creeping up as he snaps his hips faster against your ass, his grip on your thighs almost bruising. Your orgasm hits suddenly, like a tsunami of pleasure taking over your senses. Your body shakes as Callum’s own climax surges through him, your convulsing cunt milking his cock. You’re both gasping for air as Callum lets your back fall against the bed as he pulls out, collapsing next to you. 

“That was…”

“Amazing?” Callum turns his head to look at you, 

“Yeah,” you’re quick to pull the duvet over you as your sweat cools on your skin, “Better than any time before, honestly.”

“Agreed,” Callum puts an arm behind his head to rest on, “I’m still sorry for not telling you how I felt. I didn’t really know what it was at the time.”

“It’s okay now, Cal,” you roll over on your side, putting a hand on his chest, “You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Callum kisses the top of your head, “Okay. I won’t.”

The next day, when the script is read over again, tensions are definitely not as high. You don’t struggle as much with your lines, and being around Callum is easier. You’re glad it all worked out; maybe this time, it’ll last without confusion.

#callum turner #callum turner x reader #callum turner x reader smut #callum turner smut #callum turner fanfic #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner fic #callum turner imagine #floralcyanide writes

[coleslawr02]

How Chilchuck Expresses Care through Self-Destructive Privacy, and the Desire for Responsibility and Control after Experiencing Prejudice: An Analysis

Long Post + Manga Spoilers + Discussions of Fantasy Racism

I want to discuss how while Chilchuck’s private nature is implied inherent, it is still clearly a result of his work and experiences with racism;

Those experiences shaped his sense of responsibility and desire for control. And I think those affect how he views privacy as an act of care, in addition to defense mechanism.

————

His inherent privacy:

We know he has always been caring yet callous, there-for-others yet afar. Every known interaction with his daughters has been that of a worry or reprimand. This is further established by Marcille’s speculation he has always been “bashful”, even to his wife.

Chilchuck was exploring dungeons for 11 years before his wife left him. She left 1 year after Chilchuck formed the Half-foot Guild. A time when Chilchuck is becoming more invested in his work, and in turn garnering both the hate and respect of many.

This is pure speculation, but I think that timing is interesting; because from Marcille’s fantasy, Chilchuck’s wife worried about all she didn’t know. And gaining the responsibility of union leader would amp that… maybe to the point it seems work is becoming as important as family.

So, not only is Chil’s wife thinking he prefers his work because it’s lively and she’s boring (Marcille’s fantasy), but she’s seeing how important he is to it, and it to him. Which is why he finally opened up after a decade.

And, of course, Chilchuck thought that if he doesn’t talk to her about work, she’ll worry less. But that only made her worry more.

His mindset that openness brings harm was then firmly cemented by her leaving. Because introducing her to his colleagues was being open. (Marcille says this in Bicorn but I can’t add the image.)

————

So why does Chilchuck not want people to worry about him? And how does race play into that?

To Chilchuck, emotional vulnerability is the same as his physical vulnerability. His attitude is beyond the result of “hard work toughens you over time”. He has to be stand-offish because it’s literally his only defense.

The way Kui wrote Chilchuck was to be the most subverted of stereotypes, yet still victim to prejudice. No matter how hard he tried.

He is a father. He is the most mature of the party. He likes alcohol and hates sweets. He talks about women. Given race relativity, he is oldest and tallest of the party. He could not behave older if he wanted. And yet, he is viewed at surface level, a child.

Also, when the other half-foots do recognize his age and autonomy, he gets labeled as the other half-foot stereotype: greedy.

Chilchuck knows, unlike Mickbell, that half-foots shouldn’t use how they’re perceived as a child to their advantage. It only adds to the greedy stereotype, it will never bring change. He wants change because he’s experienced the most.

So he takes the responsibility of setting an example of dominance, regardless of those opinions of him, because he knows he has the agency many half-foots don’t, according to Adventurer’s Bible.

And he’s viewed as greedy despite the guild’s selfless intent. Reminder, it was founded to protect Half-foots from being disposable. (+ the naivety of his youth shows how much his experiences have compounded his nature, no matter how “bashful” he started.)

Chilchuck aims to protect his people. And knows he’s the person suited for that. Which is why he wants to help Half-foots before his retirement.

He is highly aware of his place, because he’s so often “put into place” due to his race. He’s particular in how everyone has a specific duty to uphold, frequently reiterating it fact in Kakiage. (I’ll elaborate on his pride in this later.)

————

This leads to how he prioritizes others before himself.

Group over the individual, a mindset built from being a union leader and a father. A mindset from responsibility. (Again, responsibility fostered by prejudice.)

Obviously, Chil doesn’t think he should be a “lure” or “bait”, but his job is essentially testing death so others don’t.* His party role is a selfless one.

The others need to worry about him less, and trust he knows what he’s doing, to live as a whole.

And the ways he make them care less, is to be private. And a way to be private is to be self-destructive. If people are not given reason to love him, or are given reason to hate him, then he can be risky. (Among the other mentioned reasons he’s so secretive.)

For example, he prioritizes others through a general privacy by not calling for help so they wouldn’t be at risk.

However, he more often prioritizes others by being self-critical. For example, agreeing with Leed that he’s a selfish coward. When he, unknowingly, just wanted to save his friends’ lives. This is one way to create distance, it’s still privacy.

Or for example, how he demonizes himself into a cheater. He still protects the image of the wife who left him over himself. (Mind you, he didn’t figure out why she left, except that it must be his fault. Chilchuck is very self-critical, he constantly thinks he’s responsible for everyone else. So ofc he wouldn’t do that.)

And a more general examples of him not prioritizing himself was when he thought Izutsumi ran away due to him, so he tries to search despite illness. Or, just recklessly running into the mimic room to “save” the treasure bug.

————

Correlating the past 2 points of priority + privacy and race + responsibility into a desire for control:

*Autonomy is the difference between Chil risking sacrificing himself in a trap versus being forced into one. And he takes pride in that willing sacrifice cause he knows it’s useful to everyone, but expertise exclusive to half-foots. Use of this skill is a way to gain more respect and control for the half-foot reputation.

Chilchuck is constantly trying to prove he is “more”. He is not “half” of anything. (Dunmeshi exemplifies that physiology and lifespan in every race are limitations, it just depends on your goals. Vice versa, they can be strengths.)

Also, the sheer fact he’s a father amplifies his natural tendency to control.

————

TLDR

Chilchuck cares about others more than himself, especially in terms of individual versus group survivability, individual versus societal change.

And this comes from constantly being looked down upon. He subverts stereotypes yet gets viewed as them. He knows he’s the only one with the experience and agency to fight it regardless.

His choice of work combats prejudice through setting an example and he establishes the union. In order to effectively work, his “care” expresses itself as “privacy”. Self-destruction contributes to this privacy.

Finally, what’s so fascinating is how this mindset is so layered within itself. But, eventually, he learns it’s okay to be open :)

#dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #marcille donato #laios touden #senshi of izganda #mickbell tomas #I worry that this isn’t that deep of an analysis and I’m just regurgitating well known fact but please hear me out #he’s so layered yet cohesive #bless ryoko kui for creating him #forgive me for posting this here. I only use tumblr as my art archive. but. atp I should make a side blog for all my essays #not art

[quizmasterfred]

13 in 'The God Complex'

I saw a Reddit post a while ago asking 'what episode would you like to see a different Doctor tackle', and now it's been ages but i had some thoughts, and can't stop thinking about it, and just desperately need to write them down somewhere so here if you're seeing this: sorry, you've got to deal with my ramblings now.

This could replace ‘Legend of the Sea Devils’ wholesale. It was most people's least favourite centenary special, so hopefully we’re not losing much. OR, if you want to wrangle 4 specials in that year, it comes between ‘Eve of the Daleks’ and LotSD, which I’ll elaborate on later.

Arrival:

13 genuinely intends to follow through with “that moment on the beach where you tell me everything”, directly says as much at the end of EotD. Instead of fobbing it off with “whatever happened to the lost treasure of the Flor de la Mar”, they ARE going to San Munrohvar, which Yaz is ecstatic about.

In the OG God Complex (quick reminder: 11/Amy/Rory originally), it’s Amy’s faith in the Doctor which brings them there, and it’s the same now. Except it’s not just the generic faith of a particularly attached companion, it’s the exact specific moment of Yaz knowing she’s about to get that conversation.

Her faith is both restored, and about to be rewarded. After years of asking, and wondering, and being fobbed off, finally the Doctor is opening up. And right after Yaz’s coming out to Dan? Wow - what if!

They aren’t there because Yaz “has faith in the Doctor”, they’re there now because in the exact moment the TARDIS launched, that faith was higher and more intense that it has ever been.

Dan:

Common complaint is that Dan’s a bit of a blank slate – Diane, Liverpool, nice bloke. Fun moments, but not enough time to really develop as a character. I’m not going to make a spectacular reveal here and give him an amazing arc, but at the very least we have a chance to make that blank-slatedness really work. He takes on Rory’s role in the story:

13’s Room:

We never see 11’s room, only hear the TARDIS’ cloister bell as he looks in. The implication, of course, is that he’s afraid of dying – permanently. Trenzalore, no more regenerations. Very nice and subtle for 11’s arc/personality – the old man disguising himself as a 20-something.

13 has a very different problem: she’s the Timeless Child, she’s been alive for potentially a billion years before her memories begin, and she’s still regenerating. 11 is afraid of regenerations running out; 13 is afraid they’ll never run out.

It’s harder to convey my idea here with just a noise, not showing the inside of the room itself, so I will describe what I imagine the room to look like, but if there’s a way to do this without showing the viewer, that’d obviously be great.

Her room is a field of graves: “Susan Foreman”, “Sarah-Jane Smith”, “Alastair Lethbridge-Stewart”, “Donna Noble”, “Amy + Rory Williams” (an exact copy of the grave from ‘The Angels take Manhattan’), “Clara Oswald”, River('s Screwdriver/Neural Relay sitting on a Library server?), “Bill Potts”, “Yasmin Khan”, even one written in Gallifreyan (could be inferred to be the Master, but not directly stated). Only a brief look, but enough for someone to pause it and read a bunch of companions’ names.

Many are faded, symbolising a fear that one day she’ll be so old with so many lost loved ones, there simply won’t be room for all of them, and she’ll starting to forget their names and faces. Thousands more we can’t read, the people she’s yet to meet across all her future lives, and they will age and die all the same. In the centre, she’s still there. Alive, young, never dying. Maybe it’s not even Jodie standing there – maybe it’s Ncuti Gatwa, or some completely other actor: ‘generic future self’.

This is the moment of tragedy for her. After her own chat with Dan, the fireworks, seeing Sarah + Nick happy, she had decided to give it a try with Yaz. But seeing this room is what changes that. This is the moment she says to herself:

In OG, this happens immediately after 11 effectively invites Rita to join the crew, but maybe we can swap these around. So 13 sees this, completely psyches herself out of pursuing a relationship with Yaz, knows in her heart that her biggest fear is losing more and more and more people, but seeing Rita being a little bit brilliant again makes 13 invite her along anyway. She can’t help it – a clever little human working their way in, no matter what. Bittersweet.

Speaking of:

Rita:

Another young Muslim woman who’s a little bit brilliant and a little bit too brave? In all of time and space, it’s a bit weird for a bottle episode to have someone who, on the face of it, is basically a carbon copy of our main companion, right? We’ll see.

13 gets along with Rita just as 11 did. Maybe Dan is the butt of the ‘with regret, you’re fired’ joke. Maybe in a moment alone, Dan can crack a line to Rita that ‘she’s got a thing for clever Muslim gals’. But of course, most importantly, Rita and Yaz have a bit of bonding over their shared faith. Rita mentions ‘Jahannam’ in the OG, and we can use that to get some insight to Yaz’s faith. We know she’s practicing-enough to visit a Mosque (mentioned in Rosa), but really we get very little exploration of what Islam truly means to her throughout Chibnall’s run. Give Yaz something personal that isn’t tied to the Doctor, y’know.

Then, the phone call when Rita is about to die. Like 11, 13 tries to talk her into coming back: maybe she can save her, she really wants to save her. She can’t convince Rita, but Yaz takes the phone off of her. Two young women of the same religion have a heart-to-heart about faith and rapture and Jahannam. They both start off thinking Yaz was brought here for the same reason Rita was (and the viewer does too) – stealing their religion from them.

BUT, Rita gradually realises that isn’t true for Yaz. She realises that Yaz’s faith in the Doctor is stronger: “if you come back, the Doctor can save [you/us]”. That brief, shining moment of beauty that Yaz felt when the Doctor confirmed she would follow through on ‘tell[ing] you everything’ was so powerful, it eclipsed her religious faith. Not forever, she hasn’t become an atheist, but the novelty, the cocktail of love, and rewarded patience, and anticipation, and trust – for a tiny moment, it out-shone her other faith, and that’s why the TARDIS was pulled in by the eponymous God Complex.

Maybe Rita says it explicitly, or maybe she doesn’t. Either way, Yaz also realises what Rita has seen, but the Doctor isn’t privy to Rita’s side of the conversation (because… phone). They hang up, turn off the cameras, and Rita dies. If Yaz hadn’t let the Doctor take over her life and heart, could she have saved Rita? Did someone die because she failed as a Muslim? (Obviously the answer is no – that’s not how faith/religion works, and Rita was dead anyway because that is how the minotaur works, but the point is Yaz has a total crisis here)

As with the OG, the very next scene is the Doctor’s ‘I figured it out’ moment.

Yaz is hit with a whole fresh wave of guilt. The whole reason they’re here, the thing that killed Rita – and the Doctor agrees with that assessment (the Doctor couldn’t hear Rita, so this obviously isn’t actually the Doctor saying ‘you’re right, you got her killed’ – the Doctor would never think or say something like that – but that’s what it feels like to Yaz).

Yaz’s Room:

Now this is what’s really beautiful about the change from 11 to 13. Amy and Yaz’s rooms are the same thing. Amy’s is a little girl waiting by a window for her Raggedy Man to come back; abandoned. Yaz’s is a young woman in a basic white TARDIS console room, surrounded by sticky notes and sheets of paper, after hundreds of failed attempts to make it fly, waiting for the Doctor to come back from Gallifrey; abandoned.

[Quick side-note: the moment between Amy and Gibbis where she says ‘I thought that room was for me’ about the Weeping Angels still works for Yaz. In her only meeting with the Angels, what was the result? They took the Doctor away from her for 3 years]

11’s speech to Amy, tearing down the image of him in her head – saving her life by pretending he can’t – absolutely stunning. But 13 has even more to work with here: Amy/Rory, Clara (died because she became too much like the Doctor – hello Yaz), River. The added tragedy of breaking not just a friend, but someone who is actively in love with her and who she shares those feelings for, and the only way to save Yaz’s life is to shatter those feelings.

AND: Bill. "Remember that man who tried to kill you, Graham, and Ryan in a plane crash the instant he met you? The man who tried to kill us all on Gallifrey, and is ultimately the reason I left you, vanishing for 10 months? The man you’re most afraid of, of every villain we’ve met together? I TRIED TO HELP HIM. I put his redemption above Bill and Nardole’s safety because ‘[he’s] the only one person that I’ve ever met who’s even remotely like me’ (direct quote, btw(!) – ‘World Enough and Time’), and it got her mercilessly killed and converted. That’s the sort of person I am, and now I’m about to get you killed too."

Falling Action:

Because Yaz is a little bit brilliant, and coming into her own as “becoming like the Doctor”, like Clara did, she later works out that the speech in her room was ‘the plan all along^TM’ to get rid of the minotaur, and starts to patch herself up by telling herself that the Doctor didn’t really mean not to trust her. So Yaz presses, once again, asking for the Doctor to tell her something about herself.

The Doctor, of course, actually was being genuine, because her own room – the field of graves – scared her that much. 11 rebuffs Amy’s question, continuing with his exposition about the prison. 13 does the same to Yaz. The episode started with Yaz being elated that the Doctor would finally open up, and ends with 13 reverting back to closed-off, and refusing to answer a personal question. Because 13 saw what was in her room, and decided, against everything they both wanted 45 minutes ago, that she can’t fix herself.  So back in the box it goes.

Then:

From 11’s perspective, this could be perceived as bittersweet. He’s still afraid of death, but at least there’s someone here and now commiserating with him. Maybe it would be a gift, and maybe he can accept it in time, and go to Trenzalore in peace. But for 13, it’s just bitter. 'Yes, it would be a gift – if only I could ever have it. But at least I can grant it to you.'

We can either do the beach scene now, ‘can’t fix myself’…

(and then in my ideal world, alter Power of the Doctor to give us a slightly happier end / opening up / explaining 13's hotel room / Thasmin kiss, because god knows us gays need someone to throw us a bone – but that’s not important right now, not relevant to 13!GodComplex)

Or this is where the Doctor goes ‘let’s fuck about looking for the Flor de la Mar’, cue LotSD. Again we see the contrast between her genuine intent to be honest with Yaz 45 minutes ago vs fobbing it off now. Yaz’s heart is broken for real, just after she managed to convince herself that the Doctor’s speech in the hotel room was all a trick.

I can't stop thinking about it, because Doctor Who has consumed my every waking moment for the last 2 months...

#13th doctor #yasmin khan #thasmin #11th doctor #amy pond #the god complex #eve of the daleks #legend of the sea devils #power of the doctor #doctor who

[weird-bookworm]

ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ!ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ

HYUNG LINE MAKNAE LINE

a/n: part 2 of the abomination i posted 4 (?) weeks ago

pairing: elder brother!svt x reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, comfort

word count: same as before, around 1050-ish

warnings: mentions of food, mention of fire, a couple curse words, mention of harassing (dw nothing srs), idk what can be a trigger help a girl out here 😭

ʟᴇᴇ ꜱᴇᴏᴋᴍɪɴ

LOUD™

(dolby? who's that? i only know dk 👍🏻)

coddles you with love

clingy

no concept of personal space

unexpectedly protective

your room is practically his now

puppy eyes at you for everything

as if he's the younger one and not you

randomly starts singing

*soul left your body* even though you've heard him do it your entire life

despises it when you're sad

gets adorably angry at whoever or whatever made you sad— just to see you giggle

innocent babie

(protecc him pls)

aka you're more dirty minded than he is

might be the elder but you're stuck taking care of him

elaborate skits in the middle of the night

you don't tell him but you enjoy them as much as he does

ᴋɪᴍ ᴍɪɴɢʏᴜ

puppy personified

practically a giant

you often wonder if he took your share of tall genes

25/8 teasing you about your height

"want help shorty?" annoying smirk

"i'm not short you bitch, you're tall" angry pout

*cue giggles*

picks you up randomly and scares you shitless

always ends up cooking for you though

y'all have a very playful relationship

affectionate insults are as plentiful as his clothes

a giant dork basically

gets sad when you're sad

envelops you in his arms and holds you as long as you need

so so easy to prank

and so annoying because he knows every girl you know has a crush on him

flirts with your friends to annoy you

likes to cuddle

wakes up in your room 5 days out of 7

roleplays as your blanket and refuses to move

xᴜ ᴍɪɴɢʜᴀᴏ

you're his princess

the apple of his eye

he's very very soft for you

but you're the person he's fights with the most

Savage™

The sassy siblings ✨

y'all are more twins than anything

similar fashion styles

both martial artists

both self-assured

and really good looking 👀

pretty much a package deal atp

your friends are his friends, and his are yours

you're his forever priority

forces you to meditate lol

as in wakes you up early every morning and makes you sit and meditate with him

will not let you go back to sleep

safe to say he's the only person who's seen your whiny side

ʙᴏᴏ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢᴋᴡᴀɴ

dramatic

bickering

a lot of it

even bickers with your best friend 💀

does favours for you unprompted

"stop looking at me like that, i did it out of the goodness of my heart and this is the thanks i get, hmph"

*dramatically gets mad*

while you're there looking at him like •_• -_- •_•

later uses it as leverage

"remember that one time i brought you a glass of water? you owe me!" "i didn't aSK YOU TO DO IT!!"

embodiment of getting second hand embarrassment

no kidding, pretends he doesn't know you at anything remotely embarrassing you do

✨MaTeRiAl GwOrL✨

hallabong full of sass

only and only He can bully you

you have a problem? hold his americano, he's ready to throw hands

squishy lil tangerine

ᴄʜᴡᴇ ʜᴀɴꜱᴏʟ

chill asf

takes you to movies every weekend

sends you random songs he likes or songs that remind him of you

unbothered king

comfortable silences

hang outs include not speaking and listening to music

while chilling like starfishes on the floor and staring at the ceiling

strange lil guy

except you definitely take after him

down to the style of walking

bad dad jokes

never understands the good ones 💀

occasionally loud enough to rouse the entire neighbourhood

cluelessly cute

does silly things when you're sad

like sit upside down on the sofa

or just wear one of his out-of-this-world 'outfits'

he's secretly offended you're laughing but at least mission accomplished?

ʟᴇᴇ ᴄʜᴀɴ

the only remotely normal one

often complains that you're weird

and he's lucky that he got the better genes

constant fights over who looks better

often drags you to dance with him

whines for you to cook for him

even though his cooking is perfectly fine

once felt generous and decided to help you make dinner in high school

your parents came back home to smoke in the house and the fire alarm going off

don't think he doesn't notice you going soft when he laughs

often acts like the most typical 'oppa'

then both of you cringe and laugh together

sneaks out with you every friday

weirdly mature when the situation calls for it

once punched a guy in the face because he thought he was harassing you

had to awkwardly apologise because that wasn't the case. at all.

very very common and very very petty fights

#sky writes!! #svt #caratsland #seventeen #svt headcanons #seventeen headcanons #fluff #soft #cute #maknae line #svt maknae line #seventeen maknae line #dk #dokyeom #seokmin #lee dokyeom #lee seokmin #mingyu #kim mingyu #minghao #the8 #xu minghao #myungho #seo myungho #seungkwan #boo seungkwan #lee chan #chan #dino

[sumn-somethin]

Why I still love Olegsey Dushnov even after episode 5

This post contains mentions of homophobia, sexism, and misogyny. 

This is gonna be a longggg post lol but TLDR: I am very aware of his flaws and I sincerely believe that his struggles are valid but I don’t condone his beliefs. I’m looking forward to how his character will develop in season 2.

This post will be formatted as follows: 1. Olezha’s actions from episodes 1 to 5

2. My theories and analyses + information from Leena's VK

3. Elaborating on my theory about Olezha and Anton's argument

4. Overall thoughts

---------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Olezha’s actions from episodes 1 to 5

It was already hinted multiple times throughout season 1 that he was not straight.

In episode one in the original Russian dub, he made a gay joke about possessing Dima’s body (which I will discuss in more detail below). He looked a little too happy when he saw Anton, which is weird considering someone just died. He recommended to ghost Dima the shower rooms of both the girls' and the guys'. He had a habit of pressing his index fingers together, making him appear effeminate (which I will also discuss later). He explained how he was “drawn” to Dima physically (played off as a joke) when the notebook was brought outside.

In episode two, he tried to hide his interest in theatre and dancing. (The video he was watching is actually a reference to the prologue of West Side Story! https://youtu.be/bxoC5Oyf_ss?t=215). He stared a little too long at Dima while putting on his shirt. He hugged the guy who insulted him multiple times even after accidentally leaving him on the train.

In episode three, Karina, one of the psychics, said “He had a relationship. Strong. Nobody knew. Complicated connection. Blind leading the deaf. Domineering, stately person…” Olezha didn’t want anybody to know about his relationship and asked Dima to stop the psychic. Later in the bathroom stalls, Dima told Olezha, “Come out when you’re ready”, which is a pretty cool usage of the ‘coming out’ metaphor.

In episode four, Olezha told Dima how he learned knitting from his grandmother. Later, he presses his index fingers again out of habit. He crosses his arms to restrain himself from doing so. Upon arriving at the grave, Olezha talked about how he wanted to be an actor but his father rejected the idea. In a short flashback sequence, it was revealed that his father disapproved of his son’s habit of pressing his fingers together. Later, Olezha discovered flowers on his grave, which were actually placed by Anton. Olezha asked Dima to give him and Anton privacy. The way they said “Hello” to each other hinted that they had history together.

In episode 5 while watching Psychic Battle, Olezha had a strange reaction when Dima mentioned Anton. Later, Olezha had an extreme reaction to how Olya dresses. Dima defends her but Olezha insults him, calling him a feminist. When Olya visits the dorm, Olezha insists on asking Dima about her clothes. Olya, offended, talks about how Dima reminded her of a certain ‘moralizer’ (Olezha).

______________________________________________________________

2. My theories and analyses + information from Leena's VK

“Окей, это немного по гейский но…” This is a line from the first episode that translates as: “Okay, it’s a little gay but…” At first glance, it’s just a gay joke. But after watching episode five, I realized that it’s a deliberate joke that is in line with his character.

Olegsey Dushnov is a hypocrite. Specifically, he's a misogynistic closeted biromantic asexual who believes in "traditional family values".

He’s insecure about the fact that he isn’t straight, so he overcompensates through a self-deprecating gay joke. This has to do with how his father, Mikhail, raised him.

Although the show only talked about Olezha’s finger-pressing habit and interest in acting, it goes beyond that. Olezha knew how to knit and possibly even did makeup.

Mikhail has very conservative beliefs and did not approve of his son straying from masculine norms. Olezha was conditioned by his father to live by his conservative beliefs. Over time, he learned to hate himself and anyone else who did not fit the norm, including his own sister.

Olezha and Olya represent the duality of not fitting society’s norms. One is self-hatred and the other is self-acceptance. Olezha, even after death, could never be truly himself. Although his love for Olya is genuine, the way he expressed it only caused pain for both of them. He hates how Olya dresses because other people might judge her. But mainly, he is jealous of her freedom. He is jealous of the fact that Olya is free to do and wear whatever she wants, especially now that her moralizing brother is dead.

______________________________________________________________

3. Elaborating on my theory about Olezha and Anton's argument

Going back to Olezha’s self-hatred, what if he was the reason why he and Anton fought? Considering everything I mentioned above, what if Olezha was the ‘domineering, stately person’ that Karina described? There’s the possibility that Olezha’s beliefs instilled by his father, were the reason why his relationship with Anton became toxic.

______________________________________________________________

4. Overall thoughts

I love love LOVE how My Student Spirit teaches the audience not to become like Olezha, despite being one of the main characters. He is a literal ghost of his own past, afraid of the future. He is someone who had no control over his life (and his ‘life’ in death).

Personally, this is the first time I encountered a character with deeply rooted internalized homophobia (albeit indirectly). I am blown away by how angsty and complicated and difficult Olezha is as a character. He’s hauntingly, tragically beautiful.

Olezha was designed as an introverted theatre kid who knew knitting and makeup and I was so afraid that he was just gonna be a gay stereotype. But episode five broke me in ways I could not describe. Leena definitely knew all the common character tropes and how the fandom headcanoned Olezha but the route she went with his character is insane. I can’t help but admire her.

Overall, I love you Olezha but you’re a loser and YOU SUCK.

(All images are taken from Leena's VK account. Sadly, I don't have the direct links to these images 😥)

#my post #mss #my student spirit #дмо #дух моей общаги #fan theory #analysis #opinion #discussion #fan thoughts #theory #thoughts #my thougts #elijah douchnov #л #олежа душнов #spoiler #anthony stellar #антон звёздочкин #olezha my beloved #оля душнова #elisa douchnov

[sourrcandy]

KNIGHTS ; an update ↳ bc it's been 2 years since i began this wip

psd by @destimnesia

draft status. draft 1 ver 3 (aka the hoedition)

act 1 wc. 40,849

total wc. 51,709

more under the cut. bc goddamn this turned out to be a long post

the synopsis.

citizens of arkridge city call them puppeteers, rulers, monsters. fear is a weapon the round table wields with ease, but when the godfather of arkridge is murdered, the city is reminded that they, too, are only human.

with a multi-billion dollar inheritance and the fate of their father’s kingdom on the line, the nine clemonte children must navigate this elaborate arkridge game before the killer brings the city to its knees.

major updates.

i'm posting 2 different word counts because i write out of order and some scenes are done ahead of time since i have inspiration for those chapters!! the outline is planned for 3 acts so knights is predicted to be around 120k words in total.

after a long think (i wrote it down on actual paper instead of my notion) about all the characters and their motivations, i have decided to keep SELENA away from the main plot and only mention her briefly with she is 'out of town'. because she contributes nothing, her motivations are the same as aredhel's, and her actions can be covered by other characters.

so far our character motivations are :

serafine — to become ceo of clemonte corporations without the responsibility of her father's dirty empire + out of reginald's shadow

theodore — to be free from his promise / responsibility to reginald and forge his own path

aredhel — to prove her worth to being part of the family

violet — to tear down the clemontes' long legacy of being the roots of arkridge city's underworld and rebuild it in her own image

maribelle — to find the truth behind reginald's murder and change the city for the better with her experiences in the less wealthy districts before she was adopted

colette — to support her family no matter to cost and use the clemonte's influence to grow into herself

sage — to renovate the family and surpass her father's legacy

storm — to prove her worth to sage and simultaneously find her individuality away from sage

selena — in her overseas exchange era oops

side character updates.

blackbird — nothing major changing!! he is still going to be playing his part with bringing storm out of her shell while achieving his own means through her. act 2 is going to be more focused on why the round table and the kumiho gang have butted heads continuously and explain his motives on teaming up with storm

kit — he is going to be somewhat like sera's younger self -> hopeful, over-achieving, and taught to be accountable. BUT he is going to have a much more strict moral code and helps sera stray away from the cruel path knights usually take

morgan — i think i wrote her out to be more insane than she should, almost comical ngl. so i'm going to explore more of her genius / intelligence in act 2 to show that she is not just an insane person and delve more into her past with reginald

marcus — i have been pretty vague about marcus in act 1 bc it is mainly showing his dynamic / relationship with aredhel. he is going to enable a lot of aredhel's actions later on so i'm hoping to explore his motives subtly through the main characters before act 3

some of my favourite lines from knights so far.

finally. thank you to everyone (and ppl in wtw) who continuously showed interest in knights and for motivating me!! i know it's been a long ride and trust me, it's going to be a longer journey bc i am a slow writer. also kudos to mole and nicole for all your help / comments on my hoedition draft, it's what keeps me going <3

general taglist. @kazino @serpentarii @seasteading @lasbrumas @sympathyhouse @halcionic @janaisvu

knights taglist. @redbloodprose @writeblrfantasy @innocentlymacabre

— send an ask / put in tags to be added/removed.

#writeblr #wtwcommunity #writing community #my writing #wip: knights #kedit #harls.jpg

[joys-of-everyday]

SJ Bonus Notes

Some miscellaneous things following on from this post and subsequent discussions. A lot of it is my own opinion, just some random drabble.

He Only Killed The Men

Something that I’ve seen not that often but with enough frequency that it bothers me is arguments along the lines of ‘SJ only killed men in the Qiu manor, so that means it was fine’.

To which my reaction is ‘what is it about killing only men that makes it fine???’

The subtext here feels like: ‘SJ only killed the people involved in his abuse – it was for revenge, not indiscriminate killing’, which contains the implicit assumption that all the men were perpetrators, and all the women weren’t. And while there’s a bunch of complicated issues underlying this and I’m sure it’s not always meant in the overly generalised way I read it as… I get the feeling it’s sometimes just grossly oversimplified??

(This links to a feeling I have that SJ’s view on women is actually quite problematic, which I might elaborate on a later date.)

Murder bunny SJ

On that note, in the Qiu manor, yes SJ killed quite a few out of self-defence, but beyond that its heavily implied he was just going around stabbing people. Also he was taught to ‘how to commit murder and arson, how to steal, how to reap benefit from confusion’ by WYZ, and possibly killed a bunch of CQM disciples at the Immortal Alliance Conference (although, as has been pointed out, this is refutable!). All in all, this suggests that SJ was not an innocent white sheep. (But my point is that this does not imply he is a villain, or even at all bad.)

SJ and Cang Qiong

Interpretations of SJ and his friendship situation on Qing Jing usually lie in one of two buckets: ‘all the peak lords were bullies and SJ did nothing wrong’ or ‘SJ was awful and nobody cared that he died, good for him’. I think at the time of the original post I had misremembered the canon quite a bit, and was reminded of this by slytherinzidian (thank you!). Anyway, we like Nuance ofc ofc, so I’ve picked out a selection of quotes that might be useful references:  

SJ didn’t act in a way that made it easy to like him.

Shen Qingqiu had a habit of keeping his chin slightly raised, so whenever he looked at people it often appeared as if he was looking askance at them.

Airplane’s adventure log

And the other peak lords don’t really like his attitude (to the point they’re pretty happy about him losing all his memories, which is disturbing if you think about it too deeply):

Another peak lord spoke up, puzzled: “In the past he’d never give a proper greeting when meeting Zhangmen shixiong or his fellows, he never paid any of us a visit, the way he spoke was like a needle hidden in silk, his attitude was eccentric, there wasn’t anything good about him. The way he is now is much better.”

Airplane’s adventure log

Of course we have Shen Yuan’s scathing review of SJ’s character. He spent a lot of his narration attacking SJ’s attitude.

Shen Qingqiu’s character settings were stuck on “shady hypocrite.” Since on the surface he looked pure-hearted, free of desire, and immune to wicked temptations, then beneath that surface he had to be immoral, shameless, scummy, and despicable.

Vol 1, Chapter 1

That being said, SJ’s peers didn’t make it easy for SJ to act nice either. YQY had an unfortunate thing of trying to be nice and ending up off-handedly insulting SJ. For example, SJ had a genuine reason to suspect SQH (he was colluding with demons!) and YQY follows up with this:

“Qingqiu-shidi, the ways of demons have never followed any rhyme or reason, and Shang-shidi went through great difficulty to escape catastrophe; even if you have questions to ask, it wouldn’t be remiss to allow him time to recover first.”

Airplane’s adventure log

During his disciple age, Bai Zhan disciples hated SJ, mocking him, staging ambushes, going as far as to try and tear down his home. Now this might be a reaction to SJ provoking LQG, but also the An Ding peak disciples seem to hate the Bai Zhan disciples too, so equally they could just be bullying everyone (and/or SJ particularly badly).  

Everyone across Baizhan Peak was just like Liu Qingge, not holding any goodwill towards Shen Qingqiu. Unwilling to let this opportunity slip by, the disciple had immediately followed him in and begun mocking Shen Qingqiu, saying that he had a faked sense of morality and was only pretending to be noble and virtuous; for him to show up in a place like this was really causing his own sect to lose all face.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu

Btw, SJ’s relationship with the Qing Jing disciples appears to be better, and it says that SJ was well liked by his Shizun.

Yue Qingyuan’s assumption wasn’t without reason, but this time it really was wrong. Although Shen Qingqiu wasn’t liked by his peers, they didn’t dislike him so much that they wouldn’t make space for him to sleep.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu

Now LQG and SJ’s rivalry looks pretty complicated. LQG consistently manages to say some pretty insensitive things towards SJ, mocking his ability, which SJ takes badly because of his past traumas. But also, SJ is consistently threatening to kill LQG, and seemingly attacks him out of the blue (although this is a misunderstanding).

The phrase Shen Qingqiu most often said to Liu Qingge was: “One of these days I’ll kill you, Liu Qingge!” The lovely young pipa-carrying woman had long since thrown on her thin garments and rushed out the door in fear. Liu Qingge gave him a look: “With your ability?”

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu

Also there’s some implication by YQY that SJ started the rivalry with LQG, but YQY probably doesn’t have the full picture. And coupled with YQY’s ability be nice and end up accidently demeaning SJ as a result, should definitely take with a pinch of salt.

With him being thick-skinned to this degree, it was difficult for Yue Qingyuan to speak up again. He naturally couldn’t just say, if after the martial arts tournament you hadn’t kept thinking up tricks to trip him up and mounting sneak attacks to embarrass him, you wouldn’t currently have such a vitriolic relationship with Liu Qingge that the two of you can’t even bear to look at each other.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu

On that note, YQY does say something along the lines of ‘LQG’s like this to everyone, and if you were nice to him, he would be nice to you back’. This is at least half true, because SY was nice to LQG and we know where that ended up. Also, SJ does sort of goes out of his way to make their relationship worse.

[Shang Qinghua] sat up to weakly shout: “Don’t fight, you guys. Liu-shidi, you’ve got it all wrong, just now Shen-shixiong was actually…” Shen Qingqiu threw out a hand, and a series of deep cracks exploded in the wall next to Shang Qinghua’s head, dust and rocks showering down around him. Shen Qingqiu said in a chilly voice: “If you want to die then do a thorough job of it, don’t get back up midway.”

Airplane’s adventure log

Bonus on rumours: we don’t know who was spreading rumours, but the An Ding disciples were talking about SJ and complaining that he looked down on them.

Another outer disciple who, like him, had joined Cangqiong Mountain at a late age, spoke up with a sour voice: “I don’t know how that Shen Qingqiu managed to get picked as head disciple anyway, what with him having joined up so late. Everyone says he’s on friendly terms with Yue-shixiong, but I’ve never once seen him visit Qiongding Peak, and whenever he meets Yue-shixiong it’s always with a fake aloof look that’s stiff as a corpse; but it doesn’t seem like they’re on bad terms with each other, either.”

Airplane’s adventure log

Anyway, what are people’s opinions on SJ’s relationship to his martial siblings? Any headcanons?

Virgin Pee and Brothel Visits

So here is a great thread discussing SJ canons/fanons. I find it really interesting how interpreting the source material in different ways can lead to different canons, and how the added difficulty of translating throws more confusion into the mix. Anyway, to summarise some of the discussions, we know a lot of what we hear from SY about SJ’s character is inaccurate and one of the big things SY liked the rant on about was how lecherous SJ was. In fact, SJ disliked the company of men, and went to brothels to seek comfort:

It was just that he hated being crowded together with other people of the same sex. … Once upon a time, a girl like this had been their big sister. But after she grew older, she was sold to a shriveled old widower as his second wife; afterwards they left that city, and never saw her again. Liking women wasn’t shameful in the least, but treating a woman as your savior, shrinking into her embrace in search of self-confidence—Shen Qingqiu needed no one to tell him how incredibly shameful that was. So he would rather die than tell anyone, particularly not Yue Qingyuan.

Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan

Now this doesn’t exclude the possibility of SJ sleeping with women (I don’t think he was, but I wouldn’t be able to say with certainty). There are some indications of skinship with prostitutes:

In this particular instance, the tender young lady carrying the pipa had long since thrown on her thin robes and dashed out in terror. This left only the two of them inside the Warm Red Pavilion. One person’s clothes were mussed and dishevelled, while the other had not a thread out of place. The contrast couldn’t have been clearer.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu

But the pipa player might have taken some of her clothing off just to get comfortable, and SJ had just come from a fight, so his clothes being out of place isn’t unexpected. Also the young lady was carrying a pipa, so probably she was you know… playing the pipa before being kicked out?

There’s also indications of SJ being a virgin:

“And where am I supposed to find a male virgin’s pee out in the middle of nowhere?” Once these words left his mouth, he realized that Shang Qinghua was gazing intently at him. “Why are you looking at me?! As for my former self—let’s not talk about that for now. You wrote Shen Qingqiu’s original character yourself.”

Vol 1, Chapter 5

This is still ambiguous - SQH doesn’t answer the question and theoretically could have been staring at SY for any number of reasons. (Maybe he thinks SY is the virgin?) + there are probably things about SJ’s life that SQH doesn’t know.

On a thematic note, it makes sense if SJ is virgin. Lechery is used a lot by SY to illustrate SJ’s moral depravity and the twist is that a lot of it is based on unfortunate misunderstandings (e.g. he didn’t actually kill LQG).

(I also headcanon SJ as gay so another reason he wouldn’t be sleeping with women.)

On the other hand, I honestly believe there is nothing wrong with having sex. Virginity = moral purity is a narrative that annoys me. (Really annoys me. I’ll say it twice just to make it hit home. Virginity != moral purity.) Equally, I like to think there is a parallel universe (aka. some fanfic maybe) in which SJ is a straight, cis male sleeping with women, and still have all of the complexity that he would if he were a gay virgin.

QJL, SJ, LBH

Someone has pointed out parallels. I love parallels.

… This is separate post worthy.  

#why do my posts consistently turn into essays T_T #shen jiu #svsss #shen qingqiu #cang qiong mountain sect #scum villans self saving system #svsss meta #original shen qingqiu

[starmonsterrr]

Introducing: Undertale self-insert #102480124 • (Update 2.1 - Doppelganger Form redesign!)

HELLO PEOPLE

I may have disappeared for a maybe long while

And that is because of 3 reasons:

Ink appreciation server

running @ink-selfship-shenanigans (surprise surprise it's me)

And school just started a week ago (which is more recent but i guess that may have added)

Except there is a 4th one and that is,,,,,,, I MAY have been working on a little Undertale AU,,,,, and then made an OC out of it,,,,

The AU will get it's own post and i'll reveal as much info as needed at the moment to explain who even is this new character that will be one of my faces on this blog (because i'm gonna have 2 OCs representing me. yeah- second one's design is still W.I.P (nevermind this is future me i finished the design but i might make a separate post for it))

And HERE IT COMES

(NOTE: RELY ON DOPPELGANGER FORM REF'S SOUL REF INSTEAD OF THE STAR FORM'S. ALSO THE STAR FORM DESIGN REWORK IS STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS)

A FURRY. What's cringier (affectionate /gen) than an Undertale self-insert in mid 2023? A FURRY Undertale self-insert that can shapeshift (WOW OP WHAT A MARY SUE) and exists for SELFSHIPPING

YEAH

THAT'S IT

TH- THAT'S THE CREATURE

And speaking of selfshipping if you scroll in my blog for a bit you might notice that i very much like Ink

and also reminder that I run a blog that has the purpose of feeding Ink simps

So uh I think you get what i'm trying to say

It might take me a little while (or until i get asks about it) for me to open up about the selfship shenanigans, but meanwhile, here are some bits of explanations and stuff!

which AU is this menace from?

OuterRenaissance. It's still being fleshed out (asks would help a lot), and I plan to later on make an outcode expanded version, and even have some basic stuff for that version. But in simple words it's Outertale but in addition of the space themes, i added themes of the Renaissance historical period, as it brought great advances to science; including astronomy!

what the flop is a star-born monster????

I have a post explaining exactly this!

(also, Io can shapeshift out of this appearance because shapeshifting powers)

Backstory???

Its AU died (destroyed by Error), and it almost did too, but i possessed it and fused my soul over time with its own using my creator powers and it is now technically a walking corpse puppeteered by me so I can interact with the UTMV, while also forcing it to change its form into the Doppelganger form; giving it the ability to, well, shapeshift. Also ink snas selfship shenanigans i haven't properly written yet (yooo two walking corpses that love eachother!!!!!1!!!1). that's the fewest words i can put it in

IS THAT A 'THE STARRY NIGHT' REFERENCE???

Yes. Yes it is. and fun fact: the ship between Io and Ink is named exactly that. The Starry Night. how clever of me, i should get a prize

Does it have a personality?

Yup. I just don't know how to describe personalities, but here's an attempt at that.

Io is a passionate artist, but struggles with some degree of perfectionism driven by the pride of its art skills which are, by far, its best ability. It also tends to be (sometimes dangerously) kind-hearted at others. It might act one of two ways in social spaces: kind of awkward, not talking much, OR ABSOLUTE MENACE as in SUPER SILLY. No in-between.

Also, it is a quick learner, and could be considered quite intelligent. Thing is ... It carried over speech from the Renaissance time period and is still adapting to modern words. A bit of an overthinker too, which can lead to communication issues, and tends to plan elaborate strategies to perform the simplest of things...sometimes not even following them.

Pronouns/gender identity?

Io, like me, goes by it/its pronouns and identifies as non-binary! (Subject to change as I occasionally explore my gender identity)

And here's some trivia to finish this off!

Io, due to being puppeteered by me; a Creator, also has the powers of one, but either doesn't use the powers at all or uses them in subtle ways to try and steer things to its/my favour. It may sometimes disguise it as "art magic" shown in these doodles i made a bit ago:

also. autism. i'm autistic and because i take control of this critter i'm dragging it into the spectrum.

And I think that's everything that comes to mind right now! Thank you for listening to this bunch of rambling that i did not beta read prior to posting.

#cringe warning: undertale (multiverse) self insert made for self-shipping and also potentially a mary sue #Also reminder that the block button exists #i don't care about cringe anymore #just wanna have fun #corv rambles about lore #corv's OCs #one mention of OuterRenaissance so like #because it's like one or two mentions i'm not really tagging it as an Undertale AU #undertale au #i lied #Corv's OuterRenaissance mentions #Corv's OuterRenaissance #undertale au oc #undertale oc #utmv oc #original character #oc

[dont-touch-the-flower-child]

Nobume & Matako as foils

This was going to be part of a longer analysis, but in the end I decided to make a short separate post for it that I could refer to later.

I'm going to list a few similarities Nobume and Matako have, and within these similarities we could compare the differences and their implications.

Both girls are orphaned at a young age and forced to become a killer.

Nobume was orphaned by Naraku (which serves the Bakufu) and then trained to become an assassin. Her own will was not accounted for in the process; she did not have a say.

Matako lost her parents because of the Bakufu (her father executed for fighting in the joui war, her mother persecuted to death by association) and she wanted to avenge them with the pistols her father left behind. Though she was similarly a victim, Matako actively chose the path of rebellion for herself.

Both met their father figure, who end up becoming their commander, in a moment of rebellion. (self-explanatory)

Isaburo and Takasugi also happen to be working towards the same objective (toppling the Bakufu, exposing the Tendoshu)

They are both adored by their respective father figures, and the attachment is strong.

Though both Isaburo and Takasugi appear to have trouble navigating their relationship with their daughter. (Isaburo's pretty obvious; I plan on elaborating on Takasugi's case later)

They are both similar in temperament with their respective father figures.

Isaburo and Nobume are stoic and detached; Takasugi and Matako are hot-tempered and reckless.

(Also, within the revived Kiheitai, Matako is the only member whose initial motive is the same as Takasugi's: revenge. This could imply great similarities in their characters.)

Now, onto the greatest difference between Nobume and Matako: their personalities.

Nobume spent her entire life following orders. First under Naraku, and then under Isaburo. Isaburo was the one who wanted to support Takasugi's cause, and Nobume felt she "had to go along". Isaburo is plotting rebellion under the guise of following orders; as the Mimawarigumi followed his orders, they all became his pawn.

Matako meanwhile, belongs in the Kiheitai, which is pretty much rebellion and resistence incarnated. (I'd like to remind people that, despite their great loyalty to Takasugi, every major member of the Kiheitai has acted independently of Takasugi's will at some point—even against it sometimes.) I also feel like pointing out how Matako's an independent thinker as she is the only one to question the use of the Benizakura sword as it's too dangerous, and the only one to question if the Kiheitai's alliance with Harusame is a good idea. She even correctly deduced that Takasugi was in danger in that moment, something not even Bansai caught on.

(See, this is why I dislike portrayals of Matako as a simple-minded fangirl who blindly follows Takasugi around. I also think she deserves more serious moments where she acts and gets recognized as the competent person she is.)

Nobume, due to her parallel with Oboro (which deserves its own post), very likely got the same detached, emotionless personality from being brought up in Naraku. An authoritarian organization with little warmth and affection to speak of.

Matako, meanwhile, expresses a much wider range of emotions. She cries freely, plays the exasperated tsukkomi/straight man, and is a vibrant, lively girl. I can only imagine that if she's able to turn out like this, then the Kiheitai must be very different from Naraku in all asepcts.

For some reason, this post turns out to be longer than I intended. I'd like to share some speculations of how Matako was brought up by the Kiheitai, and how I think Takasugi feels about her. So, more posts incoming.

#gintama #gintama meta #kijima matako #imai nobume #takasugi shinsuke #sasaki isaburo #kiheitai

[amphibautistic]

i was gonna write a long in-depth explanatory version of this post before the new episode came out but ran out of spoons editing it. so here’s the mildly unhinged version, brought to you by my catholic trauma.

the yellowjackets cult is really, really catholic, you guys.

both Laura Lee and Jackie are being treated like Christ figures of the group(I will elaborate on Jackie later). frankly I could also see a version where Laura Lee is the Virgin Mary, but she sacrified/martyred herself in an attempt to save her team and is mentor and guide to Lottie, and is the one to really introduce religion to the group.

Not to mention this scene-

lots of people comparing this to the Alice in Wonderland tea party, which I don’t fully think is inaccurate, but to me this actually resembles The Last Supper? which brings us to this

it should be pointed out that Lottie was the first to leave early because Laura Lee asked/forced her to. similarly, Jesus at the last supper called out telling the one who betrayed him to leave - which means Lottie is fulfilling the Judas role. Or rather, Lottie thinks of herself as Judas.

it’s worth pointing out that she blames herself for Laura Lee’s death, foresaw it but didn’t recognize what was happening and therefore didn’t stop it. Lottie actually holds a similar level of responsibility for Jackie dying because she was the one in charge of the group that turned on Jackie and told Coach not to interfere when Jackie went out into the cold.

When Judas betrayed Jesus he did not know they were going to kill him. Judas was wrought with grief over his mistake and tried to return the silver he’d sold Jesus out for, and committed suicide. With adult Lottie spiralling back into visions, this does make me worry a lot about her. 

Obviously Lottie’s visions play a role in this and she’s being hailed as a prophet, though an unwilling one. It’s clear she does not want the attention and is fostering hidden guilt. 

Taissa, especially in the most recent episode, is being positioned as a saint, though I could not tell you which one. Van has fully ascribed divine influence onto Taissa’s “shadow self” and aligned her with Lottie’s religious leadership even though Tai openly dismisses it. I’m reminded of saints speaking in tongues. I have less to say on Tai than anyone else, in part because I don’t understand her role just yet, but the impression that her shadow self is not fully evil seems to only enforce this role for her. 

finally bringing us to Jackie and Shauna - Jackie is not nearly as obvious as a Christ figure as Laura Lee is. In truth, both of them are functioning as Christ figures for the sake of other characters, being Lottie and Shauna. 

Jackie is functioning as the maligned aspects of Christ. The coach selected her as team captain because “she has influence,” she is the prodigal son, the popular girl, the moral compass, which all falls apart the moment the team is in the wilderness. She refuses to go along with the demands of living in the forest (resisting the temptations of the devil, as the forest is working as a malevolent entity) and is immediately, somewhat rightfully, resented for it. Jackie is certainly not perfect, can be nasty at times, and is pushed out of the group to freeze. After she’s dead though... well...

Jackie serves as communion. Note how Lottie and Shauna are the first to approach. Shauna says “she wants us to,” projecting on Jackie that this was a sacrifice of some kind for their survival. That Jesus has broken the bread and poured the wine, saying “this is my body and blood, do this in memory of me.” 

But Jackie, as far as we’ve known her, would not have wanted this. She would have been disgusted at the thought. And I think that’s key - we see Jackie through Shauna’s eyes, and Shauna is projecting.

Shauna is the first to eat Jackie. She is the one to spill blood in the adult timeline. Lottie and the cult members have latched onto Shauna’s baby and the birth as something to celebrate, despite their isolation. Shauna is the protagonist of the series.

But perhaps most on the nose - Shauna had three chances to save Jackie

and denied her

three times.

Shauna is Saint Peter, the first pope. She is the one who breaks cultural barriers and is a leader in her own right, though she would never own up to it. Peter denied knowing Jesus three times on the night of crucifixion, to protect himself, and wept upon the third denial when he realized his betrayal and what it meant.

 Peter is known for being a fisherman, directly paralleled in Shauna Shipman, and was called upon to be a fisher of men when Jesus was collecting his disciples. Seems pretty dark when you consider Shauna inadvertently lured in and killed a man named Adam of all people. Not to mention her role as the butcher, not far off. 

Regarding Shauna’s pregnancy I’ve seen a lot of people supposing her baby may be an antichrist. I haven’t made up my mind about this but it does seem the cult that is forming is growing very attached to the idea of Shauna’s baby. I think if the baby survives it is going to further symbolize something, “on this rock I will build my church” etc, to begin the growth of their cult.

One last parallel - Jackie’s necklace, gifted to Shauna twice, is seen around Mari Pit Girl’s neck, before she’s hung upside down to bleed out. Saint Peter, when he was killed, was crucified upside down because he believed he did not deserve to die the same way Jesus did. 

This could all be wild speculation but... with the way Mari’s been acting? could very easily be Shauna passing her final judgment.

tldr the way the girls see themselves, is super christian and it’s only going to escalate from here

#Yellowjackets #Yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets theories #cannibalism cw #horror #suicide mention cw #i'm sorry this is so disjointed i just needed to get it out

[aroace-poly-show]

hellloooooo lovely meowtual may you please talk about hw tsukasa?!?!? as per ur request

hehehehhe. you guys are so so niceys to me btw. cries

awawawa so tsukasa tenma. world future star. he isn’t too different from canon tbh. he’s still loud as always, got that high ego, got those memory issues and everything. his past isn’t much different from canon either. his goal to be a star still came from wanting to make people smile like shows made saki smile, but he forgets that, etc etc you get how it goes. but yknow. n25 swap. he isn’t doing great.

he tends to set high standards for himself, and he’s been trying really hard to get into the acting scene, but it hasn’t been going well. the constant failures have slowly but surely been weighing on him. he’s got a lot of frustration building up, and all that has definitely hit him in the self esteem department *just a tad*, but he does not acknowledge that! cause of course he doesn’t. he’s tsukasa tenma, he’s going to be a star! a star like him doesn’t have time to worry about stuff like that. all he needs to do is keep pushing forward, keep trying harder and harder, just don’t think about the past and all the constant setbacks and he’ll be fine! probably. he has to be fine after all. what kind of a star would he be if he wasn’t?

saki and toya do notice smth’s up with him, saki especially, but tsukasa being tsukasa he lies to them, both intentionally and unintentionally. by that i mean like. like he genuinely Does Not Know he’s not fine. he is just avoiding thinking about his own negative feelings too much, so he just does not fucking realize. when he’s confronted with the idea that he might not actually be perfectly fine, he’s genuinely confused. so when he’s asked if he’s okay, he says yes, because he’s sure he is. and sure sometimes he gets a little down, and he does intentionally lie to them those times, but its simply nothing his siblings need to worry about, so there’s no point in telling them! they don’t need to know, cause he’ll be okay! he can deal with it on his own, he *has* to deal with it on his own, he’ll (repress it) get over it soon enough! no need to worry them :)

like i mentioned, tsukasa’s also the only one still actively doing theater at the time of the main story. he loves it, he’s dedicated to it, he hasn’t given up on it yet. and he gets to be the one to get hw back into it. yayayayay. i like to think hw is very fond of him, like rui and nene were w/ emu. here’s another one of their group who holds so much passion for theater and loves it, and who hasn’t given up on it. they believe in him. its like living vicariously through him. yk. they might not know each other too well yet, but they hope it goes well for him.

and like idk but the thing about tsukasa and theater is that its So important to him, he’s devoted so much of his life to it, he can’t see himself doing anything else. he doesn’t have a driving motivation for it, he can’t remember it, but all he’s sure of is that he has to reach this goal. so like. when faced with the idea that maybe he *isn’t* good enough to become a star like he wants to, its terrifying to him. so he just. doesn’t think about that. every failed audition, every rejection, every setback is a reminder of that though. main story gets him to his last straw. which is fun!

again. main story ideas are giving me trouble. and i’m still figuring stuff out. so not elaborating too much on what happens. but after a series of events tsukasa remembers and gets the rest of hw on board w/ trying to do shows again. cause like, again they don’t know each other that well but tsukasa does care about them, he wants to make people smile and his friends are included in that. he wants them to enjoy shows again. he wants his friends happy. and w/ enough persuasion hw joins him and yayy they become a theater troupe. yippee :3 

i might have more thoughts to add later. idk. i’d add a fun facts section but i already mentioned everything i had for him in past posts jdhfgdfjkgl

#asks #hollow ☆ wonderland #this took way too long i kept getting distracted and anxious about dumb stuff but YAY ITS DONE #the gangs complete #yay

[ladyniniane]

For the Writblr Ask Game: 5, 7 and 13 💕

Please and thank you

End of the year writeblr ask game

Hello 👋 and thank you for the questions ✨!

5) What is your favorite book/story/poem you read this year?

Lauren Groff's Matrix! I don't know if it's my favorite, but it's certainly one of the best things I've read this year. (I don't rate books 5 stars on Goodreads that often).

It has medieval women in all sort of roles: nuns, administrators, visionaries, artists, queens, warriors... Women building their own community and being self-sufficient. A narrative with sorority at its core. And gorgeous writing to boot.

7) What are three songs you put on your WIP-playlist this year?

I tend to associate my characters with Florence and the machine songs and this year was no exception.

First: Seven Devils. My characters aren't usually people you would want to cross, but it especially reminds me of my Shadow and Bone OC, Marya. She can be ruthless and is a fearsome presence on the battlefield.

"Holy water cannot help you now / Thousand armies couldn't keep me out / I don't want your money / I don't want your crown / See, I've come to burn your kingdom down."

Next is Only if for a night. Ismene, the protagonist of one of my WIPs, has just lost her mother. This song about being visited in a dream by a dead relative was perfect.

"And the only solution was to stand and fight / And my body was bruised and I was set alight / But you came over me like some holy rite /And although I was burning, you're the only light."

Last is Shake it Out. I associate it with another of my characters who lost herself, hit rock bottom, but is determined to find her way in spite of her suffering.

"All of his questions, such a mournful sound /Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground /'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn /But it's always darkest before the dawn"

13) How did you change as a writer?

I learned many positive things and I improved my writing, but one thing I've learned was to handle disappointement.

In January, I posted my Fire Emblem Three Houses fanfic on AO3. I put a lot of work in it. It's a novel-length story, I created 4 OCs, with their backstories, their personalities... Since this game has a lot of dead or invisible mothers, I gave them a face and a story. I expanded on some of the game's lore.

And clearly, I was disappointed by the relative lack of interactions. I'm not writing for clout, but I'm also posting my stories in the hope of connecting with other people. But that wasn't really the case on AO3. I had to wait 8 months before getting my first comment.

Of course, it still had some interactions, so I don't want to sound ungrateful. I don't want to be internet famous (especially since there are cases of harassment against authors in this fandom). But the thing is that I hoped for...more. And it felt like screaming in the void, especially after having put all this work.

Then, I published my Shadow and Bone fanfic and the response was very different and heartwarming. This made me realize that the problem wasn't probably with my writing or storytelling, but mainly with the fandom. This fandom doesn't seem to want what I have to offer (I wish people would step out their comfort zone and stop being this wary of OCs. Maybe I will elaborate on this later).

Furthermore, the people who read this story enjoyed it. And I had fun writing it. So I chose to focus on the positive side of this experience and I will keep writing about my characters because I believe in their potential.

#answered asks #intricatecaprice #my ocs #marya #ismene #maude

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Readalong. Book Two, Chapter Thirteen:

featuring themes of an Extremely Romantic Nature:

-a lamentation  on France’s distancing from its Celtic heritage (while Spain an Ireland haven’t)(what good is this modernity for?)

-wounds that reopen as a response to great emotional shock (Lawrence of Arabia style)

-the judicial process as a burlesque carnival, a parade of grotesque killers being celebrated by an adoring populace licking their own blood off of the hangman’s hand.

-An inquiry on crime: what is it, who gets to define it? in any unequal society and specifically one under a colonial regime?

Hogarth's The Bench. (breaking my self-imposed rule of posting only monochromatic engravings to illustrate the chapters because atypically for me I prefered the oil painting to the print in this case)

I said last time we had seen the last of Ireland/the home as prison and I was wrong because, back we go to Cockermouth Castle!

The narrator informs us lady Cockermouth has died of shock after thinking her husband had actually murdered their daughter.

Debby is convalescing, and being handled with kid gloves. She desperately wants her mother, but is not told she has died (out of fear that she too would die of shock since she was still incredibly weak)(besides with playing with tropes, Borel imbues wounds with a proto-psychosomatic quality... there is an emotional quality to them that both responds to logic, and to an almost christian martyr imagery of wounds opening up as a sign of calamity to come (like figures of mary that weep blood, etc) or as a response to a reminder of emotional trauma)(i am sure i’m not wording this correctly, but he is elaborating an aesthetic use of wounds here, they are deeply symbolic and the way they reopen seems to be so as well)

The servants reply with evasives which make her suspicious. Some of them walk into her room wearing mourning clothes, which basically confirms her suspicions. Debby sneaks out of her room, weak as she is, goes to her mother’s room only to find it empty and dirty, clearly abandoned for a while now. So she falls to the ground, fainted. Her wounds reopen and she starts bleeding (a very striking image, it makes sense for it to happen since she’s very weak, her wounds are still not properly healed, but it’s also symbolic)(I’m reminded of the post torture scene in Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence starts bleeding during a conversation alluding to said torture, and think Borel is working with wounds in a similar way here.)

We leave Debby and the castle for a second, to the castle’s surroundings and the villagers and peasants, who are distressed by what they think is Patrick’s death. Given Cockermouth’s history of violence, everyone assumes he murdered Patrick. The other nobles, who we are told, also hate Cockermouth, had spread what they saw at the banquet and their conjectures about what happened to the villagers. the villagers see in this story yet another layer to the cake of Cockermouth’s violence, they become emboldened, and dare to talk against him openly. Patrick’s death might be the spark needed to light up an uprising.

[Borel tells us how the people pay homage to Patrick’s blood -actually Debby’s- building a cairn  -thanks @sainteverge - marking graves through piling stones over the body- over the blood stains. These cairns can be later on confused with hills if they are covered by soil, as Borel says. Spain and Ireland, Borel tells us, still (in 1840’s) continue this practice, and although there are cairns in the Armorican regions of France, these are Celtic monuments form the ancient gauls.

(this history of Celtic customs and shared Celt origins of the countries in question, might be at the back of his mind when he compares both cultures, which he will do again later on? Is he perhaps also choosing Ireland for this novel because he wants to recall to a Celtic heritage France has distanced itself from? Among other reasons? )

In fact, when Borel talks of French vestiges now studied by “experts” there’s a touch of irony in his tone,, although under the stones usually human skeletons are found, the "learned men" studying them classify them as ancient monuments but cannot decide their purpose.... France, Borel seems to be saying, has stirred so far from its past it requires experts to study its traditions, even while having relatives in neighbouring countries still practising said traditions, that could surely shed light over those...]

So, back to the revolutionary steerings Patrick’s presumed death has provoked: Everywhere he goes, lord Cockermouth encounters clamours asking what has he done with Patrick’s body. Little kids call him lord Cain. Lord Cockermouth is very afraid and feels the urge to clear his reputation FAST or risk maybe being killed.

So, in a move typical of any person with power and connections, no matter when you read this, Lord Cockermouth decides it’s time for a little tampering with the judicial system. He forces out of his daughter the confession that Patrick lives. And through “insidious practices”  he fabricates a court case accusing Patrick of being a seducer and a would be killer.

And what follows is something French Romanticism does so well: an enquiry of what constitutes a crime in modern society (noted examples, Vautrin’s many rants in Père Goriot, Nerval’s Hand of Glory, some passages in Champavert) what is a crime, what gets penalized as a crime, which members of a society get labelled as criminals? Balzac and Nerval go for poverty, people who have to steal out of need/starvation, while white collar crimes committed on a daily basis by bankers and aristocrats-and merchants, adds Nerval- not only go unpunished, they are not even called that. Borel offers another example: revolutionaries. Irishmen resisting the English invader and fighting back? Tried as criminals. I’ll let Borel do the talking:

“The task awaiting these magistrates was quite honorable: in addition to Patrick’s case, they had to deal with half a dozen homicides, and a good dozen thieves: these wonderful Irish murderers were nothing more, poor men, than good papist peasants who had had the monstrousness to retaliate against their English tenants’ beatings, and these distinguished larcenists, only unfortunate families, plunged into misery by the last confiscations, and who, pushed by hunger and cold, had stolen a few baskets of peat and a few bushels of potatoes.” (translation by @sainteverge here )

These are speedy trials, where the accused are doomed before the process is even started.

Borel makes a caricature out of the Magistrates Debby sees from the window of her hotel, a carnivalesque parade of assassins, dresses in pink, wearing massive poweded wigs...

To complete the carnival quality of the scene, we get a description of the people dressed in their Sunday best to attend the trials (there have been many associations made between the judicial process and the theatrical, see for instance foucault calling the administration of public punishments the abominable theatre, see, expositions of forcats, vidocq’s description of women attending trials as a thrilling kind of morbid spectacle -why vidocq singles out women as the only ones seeking perversely erotic thrills in the courthouse is a question for another time :P)

The judges are not even disguising who they answer to, they smile and bow to Lord Cockermouth as they see him wave at them from the hotel window. (they dined and drank together every night, because they shared their symbolic-in-borel’s-world gluttony)

“The whole town, kind eyed and smiling, was as animated as on a holiday, and the streets, in their Sunday best, were full of white élégantes, of blue bourgeois and of red soldiers. The duration of sessions, by the great turnout civil and criminal cases occasion, is a time of carnival and rejoicing in small towns.”

(The colors make the ones of the union jack, but i don’t know if there’s any further symbolism to them)

Also, sorry for citing so much but this is good and i must:

“The people’s gaiety, generated by the sole presence of men come to decimate them, did not devastate Deborah any less. The crowd demands entertainment; anything that serves as entertainment is considered good: priests, soldiers, mountebanks, judges, kings and executioners.”

The people’s gaiety generated by the presence of those who had come to decimate them!!?!? standing ovation. The people at the parade, having fun at the expense of others who are about to die or be imprisoned, because they choose to challenge the colonial authorities instead of living quietly in their personal comfort??? wow.

Plus the comparison of the personages providing the entertainment, most of them harmful to the people cheering on them, or with the potential to be harmful.

We finally get to the trial itself: Cockermouth just proclaims a bunch of lies about Patrick being a seducer who later attempted to murder his daughter and fled to France after stealing her jewels. bought witnesses back up his claims, employing their consciences only in earning their bribes.

When Debbie is called to testify, she is in the delicate position of protecting Patrick without outing his father as a liar (possibly out of fear)

Since dinner was nigh, the judges rapidly condemn Patrick on all charges, disregarding Deborah’s statement or her cries claiming his innocence.

And not only has Deborah had to suffer the whole fixed trial situation, but on top of that her charming father invites her and the judges to a celebratory banquet. She rebels and stays in her room, forced to hear her lover’s henchmen and tormentors’ laughter and their bas lieux joys.

Poor Debbie descends the next morning to find the vestiges of the orgy, drunken judges amok, her naked father passed out on the ground...

She flees to the docks of Tralee to find the next ship for France. Patrick is hanged in ephigy.

#not my best writing but i have a cold rn and just want to nap lol #so it's not as polished as it should be! you will have to excuse me <3 #madame putiphar #long post #text post

[mayullla]

Could you elaborate on Yandere OC Duke. Was it truly the potion that made him this way or was he like this all along and the potion just revealed his true self or something? I need answers to this question

that post has been a while that i had to look at it for a moment to remind myself a bit. Hmmmm there was a thought when I was writing it back then yes but later as I was writing the end I decided to leave it to the reader on whether the potion was actually effective or not or if the duke was actually in love beforehand or even yandere and if that potion just made it even more obvious. It could be that the witch tricked the reader too.

Tho if you are really curious about what I was thinking before the open ending or just hate/dislike open endings just click the keep reading ^^

Yes, the potion affected Theo~ Theo always had a certain degree of respect for the reader but it was never love so he pushed the date for marriage constantly. But since it was an arranged marriage it wasn't like he could just break it just as easily. It annoyed him a lot and while he knew you weren't necessarily at fault he cant help but push you away. Theo didn't like the other woman tho just to be clear it was a favor and he isn't so "stupid" as to go to another woman when he already had a fiance... (so much for that...) Theo visited cause he wanted to explain the situation to you but as you may have already noticed it wasn't really the main topic after drinking the tea. It was an instant reaction~

#mayu mailbox #yandere oc