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heartsfourdazai · 7 months

Text

๋࣭ ⭑ bad period cramps. bsd x reader

gender: gender neutral

type: headcanons

characters: poe, ranpo, dazai, chuuya, atsushi, and akutagawa

warnings: unedited writing, cursing, ooc characters(?), misspelt words :(

๋࣭ ⭑ edgar allen poe 🖋

"oh, dear..." he whispered to himself.

there you were. clutching your stomach tight, your head thrown back on the large sofa cushions.

you were silenty sitting their, suffering. there were some fresh and dry tears falling down your face.

he watched your from afar, watching you taking deep breaths in and out.

he saw pills on the drawer and a un-plugged heating pad that has fallen of you stomach, he assumed you were using it from your stomach.

"y/n..dear?" he called out, your head turning toward him. he locked eyes with your glossy ones has he walked toward you from the door.

when he reached you and knealt down close to your head, karl jumped off his shoulder and jumped onto the arm of the couch and huddled in on himself.

before he could reach his hand over and rub your stomach, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your stomach.

he smiled softly and started to rub, "you told me you were fine..." he sighed sadly, his cheek leaning against the arm of the couch that your head pillow was resting on.

you whined at the pain again before smiling softly, "i'm sorry, dear...:

"do you need anything?" he asked, looking up at you as he waited for a response.

you shake your head, "you're all i need right now.."

๋࣭ ⭑ ranpo edogawa 🔍

"it hurts!"

"i know.."

"it's hurts so damn much!"

"i could only imagine..:

"ranpo!" you whined, leaning your head against the work desk you at in. ranpo was sitting on the table across from yours, you and him the only ones in the room.

it was only hour 3 of your full day shift at the agency and you already want to bury yourself six feet under.

the detective eyed you, sucking on his lolipop.

he squints his eyes, watching you clutch your stomach tight and moving side to side slowly.

"then why did you come to work today?" he asked, the lolipop still in his mouth.

you sighed, leaning your head up and rested it on your palm.

"because kunikida will literally have my head if i'm not in...but i don't want to tell him about my period cramps because their embbarssing!"

and your head was back on the desk.

ranpo dug a hand into his pockets on his pants pulled out another sucker. he hoped off the table with a 'hmft!' and waltzed toward your suffering body and tapped your head with the lolipop.

you looked up from the desk, "it always helps me when i'm in pain." he winked, handing it to you and circled around you.

before you could say anything, you felt him lift the chair up and pratically knock you off.

"ah! ranpo-?"

he shuts your mouth with his own sucker and smiled, "you go home and relax, i'll let kunikida know you left early."

"but..i can't just.."

"yup! yes you can, because i said you can! don't worry, i'll talk with kunikida.."

but talk he means just say you left because of period cramps

he kissed your lips and winked, "now go, i got this."

๋࣭ ⭑ osamu dazai 🩹

"awh~ is my belladonna on their period~?" dazai asked, kneeling down close to your face, which was smushed up against the pillow of your shared bed.

almost pratically making out with it, thats how close you were to it.

you groaned loudly into the pillow hearing your boyfriends words.

he watched you enter the apartment with your bag hugged against your stomach, and small tears dared to fall from the corner of your eyes.

without a word, you stomped into the bedroom and slammed the door. dazai smiled to himself, stirring the tea he held in his hand, hot and ready for you to drink. however...you never even noticed he was here.

that was, until he walked in the room a couple minutes later with two cups of tea for him and you.

he's stands up striaght, walking toward the door to switch off the light. with a click, the room turned dim, the only light was the evening sunlight and the screensaver on the TV that hung high above the ground.

"you do know...a hot bath could help~?" of course, he meant that in a way to calm you down and show you a bright side, however you could'nt help but blush slightly hearing it come out of his mouth like that.

he waited for you to reply, walking back toward you, however you said nothing and just shrugged.

he said nothing as well as he laid in bed with you, however he laid on his back while you lied on your stomach.

"don't put to much pressure on it." he said, talking about your stomach. "it's better to have something soft and light on it..."

he smiled as he watched you slowly turn on your side and cuddle into his side. he followed you, mirroring your actions and grabbed a pillow and gently placed it on your stomach and rubbed the top and back of your head.

sooner or later, you fell asleep...getting a good talking to from kunikida for sleeping in late the next morning.

๋࣭ ⭑ chuuya nakahara 🍷BESTFUCKINPARTNERPLZ-IWANTHHIM

"does it hurt that bad? chuuya asked softly, rubbing your stomach gently as you laid in between his legs. your back was resting against his chest, feeling his heart beat once, then twice...and so forth.

you whined softly, grabbing his wrists, following his hands as he rubbed your stomach.

he kissed your ear when he saw a tear fall from your eye and down your cheek.

"sshh.." he shushed your, his breath tickling your ear.

"it hurts!" you cried, resting your head on his shoulder. "it hurts fucking hurts.."

"i know..." he whispered, "i know, baby."

over an hour went by with your cramps literally killing you, and in the moment chuuya's been thinking of ways to help.

you've had period cramps before, and chuuya's been there for you when he's not at work or has a break, or as a day off!

he hates seeing you in pain. when your hurt, he's hurt 10x worse.

he leaned forward, you being forced to follow in his actions and watched him pull out a towel from the drawer.

"i can run you a warm bath? relaxing your muscles should help with your cramps." chuuya said, rubbing your stomach once again before kissing your temple.

"can we havce mcdonalds for dinner?" you looked up at him with pouty lips, your knees close to your chest.

he chuckled, "your a sucker for them fries, aren't you?"

he taps your butt, "now, go get changed! i'll get the bath ready."

before he could leave, once he stepped out of bed he kissed your lips real quick.

"i love you.."

"i love you, too..."

๋࣭ ⭑ atsushi nakajima 🐅

"do you really not need anything else, y/n? a heating pad? food? i can make you some chicken soup? how about more pads? tampons? i have trouble going to the store and grabbing you some-"

"atsushi!" you snapped, cudding closer to him and rubbing his arm as he held you like a baby in his lap.

he shuts up real quick, rubbing your sides and stomach gently to calm the pain.

"sorry...i just-" he sighed, kissing your cheek before talking again, "i hate seeing you in pain..."

you were quiet for a moment, resting your head to his chest near his heart, taking a breath in and out feeling the sharp pain in your abdomen again.

"i know baby, i'm sorry, i know your trying to help.." you whispered, feeling his chin move a little on your head.

atsushi leaned his back against the bedframe of your shared room and apartment.

"can i be honest?" you asked, and your boyfriend hummed in response, his eyes closed as he rubbed your stomach in a circle.

"having you here is much more then i need to feel better..."

you closed your eyes after saying this, your legs tangled up with atsushi's.

he blushed slightly hearing your words, however he smiled and kissed your temple, leaving his lips there for a little bit bfore putting his chin back on your head.

"i'm gald...i love you."

you smiled, eyes still closed, "i love you more.."

๋࣭ ⭑ akutagawa ryūnosuke 🩸

"i don't know how to hold you..." he spoke nothing but the truth.

he sat criss-cross on your bed while you were lying on his lap, your head basically in between his legs near his thighs.

he had his hands in the air, almost like he was meditating, which made you laugh despite the sudden pain in your stomach.

"just.." you took his hand and placed it on your head, moving it up and down for him.

he froze, feeling a blush creep up to his face but he covered it with his free hand, coughing and looking toward the open window of your apartment.

once you let go of his hand and rested them on your stomach, he rubbed his fingers into your hair and skull.

you smiled happily, melting to his touch.

he was quiet for a moment, listening to the sound of your breathing.

"i'm sorry...i don't know how to help you properly..." he confessed, feeling bad he can't do more for you.

you almost forgot to respond, feeling his other hand rest on your shoulder and gently rub it.

you scruched your shoulder up when he got close to your neck, and pulled away both hands in fear he may have hurt you.

"aku~..." you laughed, leaning up and pushing yourself closer to him, taking his hands and smiled, "you being here to at least try and help me is all i need from you."

he kissed your lips out of embbaressement and leaned his forehead to yours.

"i only wish i could help you more.."

you thought for a moment,

"pay for my takeout, take a bath with me, and you've done everything to help me!"

"anything!"

1K notes · View notes

akutasoda · 5 months

Note

HEYYOOO me again :D

How abt bsd with ADHD s/o? Like zoning out, moving alot etc. quite childish and just silly fellow having fun instead of working :3 (me fr)

Mby Ranpo(bro should be ready for s/o stealing sweets), Yosano, Chuuya, Aku, Poe, Sigma(poor boy), Dazai and mby Nikolai? (if its not too much ofc🥲)

ILY STAY STRONG

you make everything precious

synopsis - how are they with a s/o thst has adhd?

includes - dazai, yosano, ranpo, chuuya, akutagawa, poe, sigma, nikolai

warnings - gn!reader, reader has adhd, fluff, slight crack, wc - 819

a/n: HII! :D you stay strong as well!

osamu dazai ★↷

↪you two were the absolute worst when it came to completing paperwork. you would most often zone out and that's fine but then dazai would encourage you to join in with his antics a little too easily.

↪energy practically bouncing off eachother as you two always seemed to have endless amounts. especially when it came to be childish at work.

↪dazai would also offer you his hands to fiddle with should you need to. he found a comfort in it, even if you zoned out half way through as you still did it subconsciously.

↪but should the time ever need you to fully pay attention, you bet he's great at helping you stay focused and on track.

akiko yosano ★↷

↪the absolute best for this sort of thing. she probably knows more about adhd than you do, so is very good at helping you out especially being so sweet with it.

↪short attention span that affects your work? she's got ten different methods to help ready. cant sit still for too long? she'll happily walk around and keep you company.

↪she finds your childishness rather endearing as you do rarely take it too far and she thinks it's rather cute sometimes. surprisingly loves your company in her office guaranteed she has no patients.

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪you both are very similar in some regards. you both find it hard to hold your attention span on pretty most everything. and you both can be rather childish which then in turn seems to bounce off one another.

↪making both of your productivities go way down. but it's not like anyone can complain as you both eventually get stuff done.

↪however one thing that ranpo couldn't stand sometimes was when you got extremely bored and started hiding his things. more specifically his sweets - not eating just hiding.

↪but he never stayed angry for long as he often got them back and he really just couldn't stay mad at you.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪at first your childish nature did remind him of an old partner... a rather annoying one but you were different. he could actually stand your traits and find them endearing sometimes.

↪he enjoyed your antics sometimes as he always enjoyed seeing you so happy. however he also knew how to get you to focus when needed.

↪would also be more than happy to lend you his hands when he's near to fiddle with. he found it rather relaxingand you enjoyed fiddling with them so it was a win win.

ryunosuke akutagawa ★↷

↪he never really could keep up with your energy. he really didn't understand how you had so much so often and so often just let you do your thing and he'd do his.

↪ sometimes you would get bored and decide to hang around him. unintentionally annoying him but due to his own thing and he'd sort of try and make you stay still - ultimately failing.

↪would hate it should you zone out somewhere that put you in danger. always lightly scolding you for it. eventually became an expert at stopping you zoning out.

edgar allan poe ★↷

↪ another one that could often be stumped with your seemingly never ending energy. never being able to keep up with you and your childishness.

↪but he always found it rather endearing and would always watch you with a fond smile. karl also became a victim to your boredom as he cured it quite well.

↪ initially didn't know what to do when you zoned out as nothing seemed to break your trance but eventually snapped you out of it.

↪ always looked for ways to help you in day to day activities you may struggle with. but loved how openly childish and silly you always were.

sigma ★↷

↪can't keep up with your energy part 3.

↪he has no clue how you have so much energy practically all the time. he admires it but is more confused than anything. that doesn't mean he doesn't like it.

↪he loves how childish you can be, especially because if it's in a more private location he can also indulge in you activities and feel free in a way.

↪his hair would make for a great distraction. and he happily let you play with his hair when you got bored or fidgety. he probably zones out with you.

nikolai gogol ★↷

↪another one that bounces off your energy. you both radiate such childishness and silly behaviour that it fuels the over to the point the other is practically encouraging the other to do more.

↪loves every little quirk that comes with your adhd. he either helps you with some or completely makes it worse by encouraging more childish behaviour.

↪ another to gladly lend you his hands to fiddle with. that or his cloak. especially because no matter how far away he can always offer you his hand.

439 notes · View notes

my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction · 2 months

Note

omg i really really love your blog<3 you are such a sweet person and so kind to all your followers and others on here and your writing is absolutely amazing!

i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something for poe dameron? a hurt comfort because in your rules you said you wouldn't accept full angst which honestly is so real of you and i completely agree :D its just, ive read so many fics where poe's best friend or squadron member is either in love with him or fwb with him and he starts dating someone and they look rlly in love but then he leaves the person for the best friend and i cant help but always wonder how the person he left is feeling! and i was wondering if you could write something along the lines of this but he doesnt leave the reader and hes not really in love with his best friend or anything im so sorry this became really long but you can totally ignore this or say you cant do it its absolutely alright!<33

thank you sm though and i hope you have a good day!

Anon, thank you so much for such lovely and kind words! You are AMAZING! (Seriously, they have absolutely made my day/week/year!)

This ask has killed me (positive), my subconsciousness had a lot to say, it seems.

Tangerine, Tangerine

Poe Dameron x GN!Reader Rating: M Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: angst (but with a happy ending), thoughts that a partner is cheating, blood, x-wing fight, swearing (not star wars swearing, because even though Kriff is great, I need to say fuck), Moonbeam as a nickname, typos, rail road sentences, please let me know if I’ve missed a warning!

Word Count: 4494

_______________________________________

It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss.

You’d misunderstood, you’d read the situation wrong, you’d seen incorrectly. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss.

Your radio crackled, “Green Leader, checking in. We’re manoeuvring in 5. Call out.”

“Green Two check.”

“Green Three check.”

It was just a kiss.

“Green Four check.”

It was just a-

“Green Five check.”

Just a-

“Green Six check.”

Just-

“Green Seven,” you swallow. “Check.”

It wasn’t just a kiss.

You patted your helmet twice and rolled your neck, breathing deeply as you settled in. On your left, you could see some of Blue Squadron.

This mission was straightforward - on a holopad.

Two teams to escort The Harbringer, the resistance supply ship. It had been damaged by a rogue blast from a tie fighter just as it jumped to hyperspace and had had to make an emergency landing on one of Tre’Ral’s desert moons.

The crew on board had managed to fix all they could. But without proper materials, there was little chance of the ship making it out of the moon’s thick atmosphere and entering hyperspace. So Blue and Green Squadrons had been dispatched. Blue 1-4 had already made contact, jump-starting The Harbringer enough to get it airborne.

Due to Tre’Ral’s sun and planet density, the gravity on the moons was a little stronger than most world’s atmospheric pressure.

Green Leader, Sena, had repeated through briefing at how this would affect flying. How to be ready for it. And she hadn’t been wrong, it was different flying here. Tougher. And you loved it.

You’d grown up on Para, a planet with a high gravity density. You’d learnt to fly there well before you’d flown in space. Being here on this desolate moon almost felt like home. Your movements seemed smoother, precise. No longer needing to overcorrect for your naturally ingrained harsh movements. No longer spinning out and fighting low gravity, finally working with the tide.

The manoeuvre would see the ships escort The Harbringer out of the moon’s atmosphere and then the rest of Blue squadron would form a sort of 3D star formation around the cargo ship. All jumping to hyperspace at the same time to carry it along with them.

Simple.

In theory.

Everyone had spoken about how practically textbook it was, how easy.

But then, of course, why was Green Squadron going?

No one at the briefing had asked, why would they when the answer was so obvious. This part of the quadrant was teething with First Order. With a slow, busted supply ship you were all practically screaming for them to come and play target practice.

You swallow.

You should be focusing on that, on the mission. Instead of the utter nonsense that was ricocheting around your head and piercing your heart.

I hadn’t just been a kiss.

You and Poe had gotten together clumsily, three months ago, your normal awkwardness drowned out by so much Polanis Red that you almost couldn’t see straight. It had been after the battle of Hurthwen, a nasty dogfight that had everyone hyped up on adrenaline.

He had been drunk when he kissed you, you remembered that.

Maybe he had thought… maybe he had believed he was kissing her instead.

It made a lot more sense.

Sena was the Green Leader, she was a great pilot. One to be reckoned with. She was kind, she was fun, she was beautiful. She and Poe had joined the resistance together, risen the ranks together. Basically inseparable. Always laughing and joking. She had been in the same squad as Poe, under his command before she was promoted to leading one of her own.

They had always been close. Always. Best friends.

Sickness bubbled in your throat.

You remembered Frizz and Hank talking offhandedly, well before you and Poe were a thing. Both of them sure that Sana and Poe were dating or ‘knocking boots’ as Frizz had so elegantly put it.

“Two people can just be friends, you know.” You’d said, trying to hide your little crush on the commander.

“Yeah,” Frizz laughed, “But not them. You seen them together?”

Hank chortled.

Nonsense. You’d brushed it off then. Allowed it to creep into your thoughts when it was dark and the base was quiet. When Poe’s breathing was soft and light behind you, his arm around your waist.

Him and Sana just made a lot more sense than him and you.

“Yeah, but not them. You seen them together?”

Yeah. Now you had.

The Harbringer came into view over the horizon. The seemingly endless stretch of desert was cut through in the distance by a fearsome outcrop of crocks, leading up into a field of formidable mountains.

Blue 1-4 were already hooked up to the cargo ship, all five hoovering moving together as they flew towards you to meet.

You wouldn’t have said things were difficult with you and Poe. Well, you wouldn’t have said that before. It was complicated for everyone on the base, most staff were on different call schedules, off-world or on a mission at all times. Having a relationship wasn’t straightforward. There were stretches where you wouldn’t even be on the same planet for days, but…

But you had thought it was…

It didn’t matter.

You’d gone back to the briefing room, just before take off. You’d wanted to tap the main holoscreen twice, for luck. A little ritual you’d adopted early on. Most pilots were a superstitious bunch.

That’s when you’d seen them. Sana and Poe. Locked in a tight embrace, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss.

Your heartbeat had thundered so loud you’d been surprised they hadn’t heard it. But they’d been too preoccupied to notice your presence.

It was cliche but time had almost slowed, calmed and stretched like the moment you take aim, the second before you fired your ship's canons.

A flash of the control panel had flickered into your mind when you saw them, your fingers twitching as if you had the trigger in your hands.

You’d turned and left without a sound. Without a word. Without letting them know you saw. Leaving them to… whatever they did next.

Was it their first kiss? One of many? Had this been going on well before Poe had taken your hand and led you outside so he could clumsily name all the constellations, making up new ones and backstories to make you smile?

“That one here, you see it?”

“Yeah?”

“That one’s the best one, best in the sky. It’s orange and it’s right next to that other orange one, like they’re holding hands.”

You’d laughed.

“That’s me and you Moonbeam.”

Moonbeam. That stupid nickname.

You’d gone to your room quickly, the one that you and Poe shared, and taken off the necklace he’d given you.

“I want you to wear it for luck, Moonbeam.”

That stupid smile he’d given you as he’d slipped it from his own neck and onto yours. That stupid kiss he’d given you after. You’d thought that expression was cute when you’d seen it, pure. Now it just seemed like he’d been laughing at you, playing some sick joke. ‘How long can I string someone along?’, ‘how far can I go before they realise it’s all pretend?’

You’d left the necklace with the ring slipped through on the small set of shelves in the corner, the one Poe normally kept his holopad on.

It was idiotic, but your neck felt… empty without it. Cold. Every now and then you touched at where the chain normally lay.A subconscious action only brought to the forefront of your mind by the sensation of your own skin instead of metal.

Something caught your eye in the distance, a flash of sunlight glinting off the horizon. Dread twisted in your stomach as realisation dawned a second earlier than your scanners. The extra gravitational pressure and high quantity of magnetic metals in the sand affected everyone’s ship computers, causing a brief information delay.

Your alarm sounded out inside your ship, the radar blinking into life as tie fighters approached from the rock outcrop. They’d used the high mineral concentration to hide their energy signatures.

“Fuck.”

The radio screamed into life, orders out pouring over orders. Blue squadron rushed into position while Green scrambled.

“Blue in place now!”

“It’s gonna be rushed, but we haven’t got a choice!”

“No time!” “Incoming!” “Green half split! Evens left, odds right, let’s keep those fighter’s off The Harbringer and Blue squadron! Gamma pattern!”

“How far away is the Delta?”

“Calling in attack pattern!”

You swing to the right, falling in with Hank and Petal and bank hard, it takes less than a second for you to notice that your squad's movements aren’t as precise and well-timed as usual. The stronger gravity throwing everyone, except you, off their game.

That didn’t bode well.

You climb for a second, punching hard on the acceleration to get some height and a clear view of the oncoming and flick on your targeting system. The image glitches, doesn’t hold steady even as you focus. Off by half a fraction.

Shots fire out from both sides, most missing.

“Targeting not working!”

“It’s out!”

“I can’t get a clear shot!” “The read is malfunctioning!”

“Half a click 4/8!” You shout, as you take your shot, hitting two tie fighters head-on.

“Good shot Green 7!” You can hear the joy and relief in Sana’s voice. “Half a click 4/8, you’ll all have to manually adjust!”

You dive, swirling around two fighters before skimming close to the ground, trying to draw their attention away from the cargo ship. You spin, slamming your control harder than you would need to in any other situation as you turn and spike past another fighter, taking out one in the process.

“Wooooo!” Hank yells over the intercom.

You laugh. “Bet you never thought you wished you grew up on Para right?”

“Every day new things surprise me.” He banks left, you right, Petal dives down.

It’s too much of a rush, everything all at once, patterns and shots flying, your ship’s systems screaming as you push the engines a little too hard.

The tie fighters aren’t moving as fast as they normally do, bogged down even more than the x wings by the gravity. They can’t make their normal quick turns and it’s affecting their strike patterns.

Good.

But there’s so, so many of them.

Explosions fly debris out, and you climb higher. Needing a clear view and unable to rely on your targeting systems.

More shots fly out, The Harbringer is taking a battering but so far its shielding is holding the hull together.

The radio keeps screaming, overlapping voices that blur into background noise. You’re trained to only hear your call signal, direct messages. You vear off, narrowingly missing a blast to your wing.

“-On my tail.” Frizz’s voice cuts through the noise, a sharp stab of dread slicing you open as you turn, automatically looking to the reader, it’s still not clear.

You climb, twist, fall, see a Green ship, followed tightly by two fighters. Accelsorate, bank. You fire. You’re aiming in a panic now, not adjusting right, not breathing through.

The shot hits one, before you have to swerve to avoid being struck head-on.

“Thanks 7!” Cril yells over the speaker, managing to shake the other fighter.

There’s a scream, a crackle of sound over the system. A sound you know too well. You see the ship crash into the desert, exploding before it even hits the ground as the a tie fighter’s shots hit home.

Frizz.

“No…”

“Check!” Sana yells, unable to tell who went down with the system glitching. “Green Leader!”

You swerve around another fighter, everything moving so fast, too fast.

“Green Two check!” Cril.

“Green Three check!” Petal.

Nothing.

“Green Four!” Sana yells. No call replies. Balna. Not Frizz.

The momentary rush of relief at Frizz being alive is cut horribly short by the image of Balna’s kind face that bursts behind your eyes.

You bank left, right, swerve, take aim, twist.

There’s a chance, a good chance that you’ll win. All of Blue is in place, The Harbringer is moving up with them. The tie fighters are taking more hits than the resistance, their less aerodynamic design hampering them more than usual with this gravity.

All you need is…

Another alarm.

“Oh… fuck.” You slam on your intercom. “Z-Fighter!”

A chorus of yells answer you.

A Z-fighter, a quick moving ship a fraction bigger than The Harbringer, with two powerful front guns. A few shots would take the cargo ship out completely.

And with how slow the supply ship was moving, that wouldn’t be hard.

The Z-fighter storms in, moving fast but not firing, they were obviously having problems with their targeting too, needing a close clear shot.

“Take out the main cannons!” Sana yells, the panic in her voice cutting through the chaos. You turn, aim, take out a tie fighter but have to veer up at the last second. Twist.

Someone comes in after you, aiming for the cannons, a fighter clips their side and they can’t correct quick enough. They spiral off, their ship crashing into the Z-fighter. Obliterated on impact. The Z-fighter seemingly unaffected.

You loop back, adrenaline blinding you to everything, anything that’s not the goal. Take out the canons. Take out the canons. People are counting on you. Take out the canons.

You fire, a clear shot before you bank to the side to avoid a direct hit to your hull.

It’s not enough.

You need to pass again, and again. Other x wings flying in, taking shots, the gravity making them slow, imprecise. Only one blast hits and it’s not full on.You’re the only one hitting directly and it’s not enough.

It’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s not enough.

There’s shouting and screaming, the zipping of the fighters as they cut through the sky. Someone yells your name and you don’t hear it.

Another hit lands. One canon out. Only one left. You can do this. The Harbringer is nearly in the upper atmosphere, they can jump from there. Just a few more seconds. You can do this.

“Black Leader!” Poe’s call sign cuts over the dim, followed by the call signs of half of the Red Squadron.

They must have scrambled after first contact.

The canon’s powering up, a quick glance to your panel tells you that The Harbringer’s shield is barely functioning. They won’t survive a direct hit. With how close they are and the Blue Squadron ships that are attached there’s no way they wouldn’t be pulled down too if The Harbringer fell.

The canon needs more than one hit to take it down, more than five. No way you can shoot five times before they fire.

You twist, full force. Pumping the acceleration. Fire. Fire. Fire. Three hit. You don’t slow down. Fire. Fire. Fire. They hit. The canon is still operational.

Sana is screaming orders, so many shots fire at the canon, none of them hit right, hit full on.

Two chances left.

One to fire. If it takes out the canon you just have enough time to serve up, to avoid getting smashed to bits.

Poe shouts for you over the intercom.

You don’t answer.

One to fire. If it doesn’t take out the canon then… then you crashing into it head on will.

Poe yells again, this time cutting over everyone else, sending you a direct call.

You don’t answer.

You fire. Hit.

Poe screams for you, his voice painful and panicked. He’s already worked out your plan before you had even thought of it.

The canon doesn’t go down.

You cut the call to him. Blocking out his signal. You don’t want Poe to think you did this for him.

You don’t want him to think you did this because of him.

“Green Seven!” Sana yells, seemingly knowing what you’re going to do.

Hank screams your name over the radio. It hurts. You think it’s the worst sound you’ve ever heard.

“Moonbeam!” Poe’s voice is ripped raw from yells, Sana has patched him through over her signal. You were wrong. That was the worst sound you’ve ever heard.

You dip at the last second, not hitting the canon straight on but smashing your right wing into it. The force surprises you, even though you braced for it. The impact sending you spiralling. You try to regain control, try to turn into the spin. Training taking over even though you're a wing and half a ship down.

Shouts over the radio, you barely make out-

“-cannon’s down-”

“-Jump!-”

A spark hits, your console explodes into flame, shards hit your side and you yell. Sky and sand tumbling over each other over and over, and you manage to hit the eject button.

The force rips you upwards, free briefly from your burning ship. But you’re too close to the floor, not enough time to slow down your velocity. There’s-

The impact of the ground hurts. Pain explodes along every nerve despite the ejection seat dampening. You scream.

Agony is everywhere, everything. You can’t feel anything else, can’t comprehend anything except floods of pain.

You hit your belt, falling out and to the desert floor. Looking up just enough to gauge where you are, where your ship fell. It’s an exploded, fireball mess far off. At least it’s not an immediate threat. You crawl to the side and sob.

There’s blood falling into the sand from your head, the right side of your face. You can’t see properly out of your eye and your left leg is definitely broken. Shattered. Still, you drag yourself forward, digging your hands in and pulling as something ribs and tears in your side, warm liquid soaking into your fight suit.

The resistance will jump to hyperspace, they’ll get out. They’ll make it.

You just needed to get away from your ejection seat, when the First Order doubles back they’ll see it, they’ll see you. You just needed to get to an outcrop. Hide.

Make it look like you had a weapon.

Make them shoot you first instead of taking you for questioning.

Can’t let them take you alive.

There's the faint sound of a ship somewhere above, landing gear coming down.

For a second you freeze, panic gripping your heart, you dig into the sand hard, pull, pull, pull yourself closer towards the outcrop of rocks. The air seems to be leaving your lungs, your breathing ragged and hot.

You cough, red hitting the dirt, iron hitting your tongue.

You crawl, pull. The pain is making you light-headed. You gasp, trying to get in a full lung full of air. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's not enou…

When you open your eyes your first thoughts are simple. Clear.

I'm dead.

You were either shot in the head in the sand or simply succumbed to your wounds.

But then things begin to feel… fuzzy. Not painful, but not right either.

And that's when you smell the Bacta. And then the light starts to change to distorted shapes, and finally, you recognise Hank sitting next to you.

“You better not be dead too,” you whisper your voice dry from lack of use.

Hank jumps up, goes to grab your hand and then stops himself. There are tears in his eyes. He softly places his fingers on yours and you squeeze back.

“You're a fucking idiot you know that?” He grins and you laugh. Which hurts a little, but feels good.

“One sec,” he moves away just to speak to someone outside before he comes back. “I'm the one that picked you up, you know?”

“Now who's the fucking idiot?” You smile but your chest aches, heavy with the weight of his words. “You shouldn't have done that.” You whisper.

“What?”

“You were under fire, you should have just jumped-”

“I saw you eject. Saw you moving. You think I was just gonna leave you there?” He sits. “Besides, I was closest. The commander would have blown up the whole planet to get to you.”

You swallow, turning away slightly. Going cold at the mention of Poe.

Hank mistakes the look for guilt, and squeezes your hand again. “Hey, look,” he smiles, “you took out the canons, you're a fucking idiot but you know how to fly in heavy gravity.”

You snort.

He smiles.

“Who did we lose?”

Hank sighs, “three…”

You nod, closing your eyes for a moment.

“There-”

There was shouting from outside, a crash and then Poe stormed into the room, med staff close behind him.

You swallow, sickness building in your throat.

He looked awful, drawn out and worn thin like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. His eyes red.

He rushes forward, Hank moves out of the way, so Poe can take your hand in his. He leans forward and kisses you softly, carefully stroking your cheek, being gentle with your bandages.

“Moonbeam…” he mutters and you flinch back from him. He looks at you with sad, confused eyes.

“Look, I can only allow one visitor in here.” The med staff member says.

Hank stands, and speaks when you frown. “I'll see you later, Poe’s the one that hasn't left your side. The only reason he wasn't here when you woke was because I made him go take a shower.” Hank smiled, “you can thank me for that later.”

Both you and Poe are quiet as the others leave. Poe searching your face for something, while you look away.

“Moonbeam,” he says again softly, but there's an edge to his words that you're not used to. “What the fuck happened on that mission? What the fuck is this?” He holds up his hand, his necklace and ring wrapped around his palm. His eyes are shiny as he speaks. “Were you trying to kill yourself? What the fu-”

“Poe,” you breathe. Best to get it over quickly. “I saw.”

He frowns. “Saw? Saw what?”

“You and Sana, in the briefing room… before take off.”

The small frown on his forehead relaxes slightly for a moment as his eyebrows raise. “You… saw?”

You nod.

“You, but, I didn’t see you when I pushed her away?” His voice cracks at the end, a splinter running into the muscle of your heart.

“You pushed her away?”

“You didn’t see that?” He frowns again, blinking hard, “you just, just saw and walked away and what? Took this off?” He holds up the necklace again. A tear falls from his eye and he rubs it away furiously as if it had scorched his skin. “Just, just left it and… and…”

“I didn’t know you didn’t want it…” You say quietly, emotion is making your chest tight and constricted. “I didn’t know you didn’t want her…”

“What?” He breathes, moving closer and squeezing your hand. There’s disbelief in his voice, confusion. Anger, it’s deep down and controlled but it’s there. “No, look, she kissed me. I pushed her away, I, I even logged a report, I’ll pull up the god damned camera feed to show you.”

He’s not lying. His gaze is unwavering and he’s got that painfully earnest look in his eyes.

“You thought…” he shakes his head slightly, his voice pained, “you thought I’d-”

“You both make sense together.” You blurt out. “She’s… and you’re…” you shrug and sigh, on the verge of tears yourself. “You’re both the best of us.”

“No,” he shakes his head fiercely, “Moonbeam, no.” He wipes roughly at his eyes again, glancing down for a moment and you lightly touch his head.

He looks up instantly as you stroke his curls, still lightly damp.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

Poe shakes his head again, grabbing your hand and kissing your wrist. “I’m sorry.” He kicks off his shoes and clambers into bed next to you a little awkwardly. He’s trying to be careful, trying not to hurt you but needing closeness so badly it’s suffocating.

You scooch to the side as quickly as you can in your current state and lean into him as he wraps his body around you softly and kisses you sweetly.

“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeats after every kiss, pressing his lips to every part of your skin that he can reach.

“Why are you sorry?” You mutter as he holds you, “I’m the one that messed up.”

He shakes his head, “I’m sorry that I don’t make you realise how special you are, how perfect.” He kisses your cheek, “you’re the best of us Moonbeam.”

You tut but his grip tightens and he holds you tight.

“And one hell of a pilot.” He grins.

You scoff.

“You are.” He kisses you again.

You nuzzle against him, settling into his touch. Knots have formed in your chest, pain that’s loosening. His warmth is comforting. Home.

“Sana said she didn’t know I was in a relationship,” he says softly, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I don’t know if that’s true, but… I do believe her.”

You nod. “She’s a good person.”

He moves so he can look you in the eyes. “Please, Moonbeam, I… don’t,” he bites his tongue, closing his eyes for a long second. “I want to tell you, I want to say, don’t ever do something like that again… don’t… don’t put yourself at risk.”

You touch his cheek lightly.

“But it’s not fair is it?” He smiles sadly. “We both do that every day… You know you were gonna be in my squadron at first?”

You shake your head in surprise and he nods.

“You were, but… well,” he blushes ever so slightly. “I was so embarrassingly head over heels in love with you,” he laughs lightly. “For months I could hardly talk to you, you know I had to down five Polanis Red’s in a row after Hurthwen just so I could ask you out? I knew I wouldn’t be able to function right if you were in my squad. I knew that I’d put everyone else at risk because if it came down to it… if there was a choice between everyone in the squad dying, everyone on the base, or you… I’d let the resistance burn instead of lose you. Every single time.”

You close your eyes, fighting the emotion that needs to break through and squeeze his hand like a lifeline. “I love you.” You whisper.

Your fingertips brush against the necklace, the ring hooking around the first knuckle of your index finger by chance.

Poe slowly moves his hand from yours and unwinds the necklace from his palm before carefully placing it over your head, giving you plenty of time to move away if you wanted.

“I love you Moonbeam,” he mutters, his voice low, reverent. Then leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back with all your heart.

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

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phantasmagoria-in-neverland · 9 months

Note

Hihi! :) could I please request some headcannons for various star wars boys with a really short reader? (Your star wars boys marriage headcannons was so good it urged me to send you this ask hehe 😆)

Various Star Wars Boys Headcanons: With a Short! Reader.

A/N: Hi, thank you so much! I am super sorry for the hella long wait, but unfortunately, between school and work I've had absolutely zero free time. Hope you'll still enjoy this anyway! Also, I fell like I should point out that there are mentions of wearing heels in a few of the headcanons, but it's all still very gender neutral.

Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, The Mandalorian\Din Djarin, Poe Dameron, Cal Kestis.

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

-Obi-Wan will probably not even notice your height for quite a while, he's not one to really pay attention to physical appearances. He will only realise how tall he is compared to you once he starts to develop feelings for you, and even then he will never treat it like a big deal. Might not even mention it unless you do it first.

-Appreciates when you wear heels, not because he thinks you look prettier with them on, he always thinks you're stunning no matter what, but because it really helps his neck and back to not have to lean\look down quite as much. Forgive him, he's not quite as spry as he used to be.

-But if you wear them because you feel insecure about your height? Obi-Wan will do anything he can to dissuade you from wearing them. Whether with more subtle comments or with showers of compliments, he will absolutely not rest until he is sure you know how amazing you are.

-If you were to try and climb something because you cannot reach a high place, Obi-Wan will insist on doing it for you. He usually never stops you from doing things on your own, mostly because he doesn't want to overstep; Independence is important and no matter how much he'd rather do everything for you, he knows you have lived most of your life without him, and you are more than capable of looking after yourself, but he really can't refrain himself from helping you when there's a chance you might injure yourself. If you really want to do it on your own, he will understand, but please, for his sake, won't you at least let him stand behind you so that he could catch you if you were to fall?

-Obi-Wan is notoriously almost impossible to fluster, he is too mature and also, but that is something reserved only for you, too suave for it, and although you might have tried in the past, you have never quite found his weakness. Until one day, without even thinking about it, you decided to wear his robe. The instant he came home and saw you, he flushed to the tip of his ears. He is still going to at least try and keep his composure to compliment you as he usually would, but stars above you're killing him.

He's definitely going to stay closer than usual for the rest of the day, and for as shy as he has suddenly gotten, he won't refrain himself, because that wouldn't be fair to you, from showering you in appreciation, just don't tease him or you might actually give him a heart attack. He really isn't used to this after all.

-Even if you are not insecure about it, Obi-Wan will never tease you about your height. Even when he pokes some lighthearted fun at you, he always makes sure to steer clear of the more "serious" things like personality or appearance. He never wants to risk actually hurting you.

-Obi-Wan absolutely takes the time to help you find shops that sell petite clothing options. Whenever he's travelling, be it with you or because he's on a mission, if he finds himself in a city or market he will make sure to keep both of his eyes open.

He also keeps a list of all the places he deems good enough, with little scribbled stars next to the ones he's positive you'd like. He knows how difficult finding your size tends to be for you, and that more often than not you end up having to make alterations anyway, so he's really glad to make that tedious job easier.

-When the two of you walk next to each other Obi-Wan always watches his strides. A step for him equates to two for you, and he never wants you to get tired by running after him.

Anakin Skywalker:

-Considering his height Ani can, and 100% will, hold the things you were trying to reach for so high above your head that no amount of stretching will be of any help. Don't worry, he's going to give them back even immediately… as long as you are willing to pay the ransom. Which will always consist in a kiss, it is so unoriginal that at some point you started doing it before he even got the chance to ask.

If you were ever to suggest that he could simply ask for a kiss, you're going to hear a minutes long rant about why he's definitely not going to do that, and how could you make him renounce his fun, he's already a Jedi, have some compassion.

-While hugging Anakin you will be lifted off the ground, and more often than not spun around too. It doesn't matter at all how much you weight, you're still so small, and honestly, he could hold you close for hours on end if he got the chance, do you really expect him to stay bent down for that long? Still, you can definitely tell that he not-so-secretly loves your height difference, even when he uses this as a chance to poke some lighthearted fun at you.

-Being the voice of reason in your relationship comes with the slight downside that Ani can't stand when your arguments make more sense than his, especially if you start sounding like Obi-Wan. He is not going to get angry at you, but when he's annoyed, he definitely becomes aggravating.

Especially because he loves to pretend that he can't hear you when you're making a good point. What do you expect him to do, he's so tall, and you're so short, of course he can't hear you, maybe you should get a megaphone or better yet, a ladder. On a strangely positive note, if you kick his shins to make him bend down and listen, he's not even going to pretend to be upset about it, but he is going to laugh.

-If all your climbing skills are getting displayed while you're trying to reach something that is a little too high and Anakin is there to witness, you will surely hear cheers and a little too loud encouragements being thrown at you. For once, he's not actually being embarrassing on purpose, and he will help you if you ask him to, but he won't offer to aid you himself, why should he? He knows you're more than capable of doing it on your own, and anyone with even a slight Force affinity would be able to tell that he is more than ready to catch you, but he’d much rather clap for you once you've managed it on your own.

-Ani couldn't care less if you can kick his ass into next week with your eyes closed, he still feels like he needs to shield you from all the dangers of the world. Well, to be honest, he'd still feel that way no matter your height, but he'd be lying if he said that your small stature doesn't intensify his need to hold you close and never let go. Also he really loves feeling like your protector, it makes him feel needed.

-If you are ever at a concert, event or any other situation that would require you to look at something while in the middle of a crowd, Anakin will either find you a place where you can actually see, or straight up lift you over his shoulders. He doesn't wait for you to ask, and he never complains, and if anyone else tries to make a mean comment about it, he's gonna give them a single look that will make them instantly shut up.

Luke Skywalker:

-Luke always leans or sits down when he's talking to you, he doesn't want to make you feel like he's towering over you, or for you to have to bend your neck to look up for too long.

-Like father like son, Luke will also pick you up while hugging you, but accidentally. He doesn't even realise the moment your feet start lifting off the ground, and in all probability neither did you, not when you're both melting into each other. If you point it out, he will immediately lower you back down and apologise, and although he will definitely be more careful, he isn't going to let go, he has no problem being the one to bend down.

-Luke has no problem whatsoever with your height, and he pretty much forgets about it most of the time. But there are other times, like when you're curled up while sleeping and you look so small, or when the two of you are holding hands and his engulfs your own, or when you have to ask him to bend down for a kiss, that he can’t refrain himself from finding you… adorable. He never says that out loud in case it might hurt your feelings, or make you think that he doesn't realise what a force of nature you are, but you might still figure it out anyway, when he looks at you like you're the most precious thing he has ever seen.

-On that same note, Luke will absolutely melt if you ever wear something of his. Whether it is a shirt that reaches almost all the way to your knees, or his robe that he gives you when you're cold within which you almost disappear, has little importance, either way his face is going to tint red and a lovesick smile is going to spread across his face, no matter how many times he has seen you before.

-If you ever were to hide behind him for whatever reason, he is going to get comically proud of himself, but really, Luke doesn't often get the chance to feel big and strong, and although he definitely is, he is also often underestimated until he proves himself, also, most of the people he cares for are fighters to the core and extremely independent, so he doesn't often get the chance to be a protector and he will admit without shame, that it feels really nice to know that you look to him for reassurance.

-When you are walking together through a thigh packed crowd, Luke will stand in front of you and shield you with his body. It is one of the very rare times where he doesn't ask for your permission to do something for you, of course you could do it without him, but if he can spare you from even just a single push or elbow to the ribs, if he can prevent even a single bruise, than to him it is worth your indignation. But if you were to thank him for being thoughtful? He's a goner.

Han Solo:

-It goes without saying that Han wouldn't be Han if he didn't always have a ‘short’ joke ready.

Although he is uncharacteristically optimistic when facing impossible odds, any other time his cynicism is his most predominant feature, so, say you were to say something along the lines of “Everything is going to be alright.” his response would be that “Of course you're an optimist, you're always looking up.”

Or if you were to pick a fight with a guy, Han would not be able to stop himself from remarking that “Honestly sweetheart, you should go for it, i'll even bet on you. Of course I've got faith in you! You're the perfect height to punch where it'll hurt most.” before getting the two of you out of the situation.

And of course the evergreen classic “How's the weather down there, Sweetheart?”

-Han calls you anything except your name. His preferred nickname for you is always ‘shortcake’, no matter how serious the circumstances. But, in a situation where your small stature is actually useful, maybe because you fit into a tight space, he will add 'Vertically Efficient’ in front of it; Likewise, when your height ends up hindering you, which let's be honest happens far more often than not, you will get demoted to 'Vertically Challenged Shortcake’. The man is ruthless.

-Han rests his arm on your head often. He doesn't even always do it to jab at you, he genuinely finds it a comfortable position, and I’m not sure whether that makes it better or worse. But he also, when the two of you are alone and he is feeling soft, rests his chin on your head and holds you close.

And let's not forget the forehead kisses, so many forehead kisses. It's easier than bending down to kiss your lips, especially if he is in a hurry, and it also has the bonus point of being the easiest place to reach while he is holding you to his chest.

-Han can, and without a doubt will, pretend to lose you if you find yourselves in a crowd, and he will find it absolutely hilarious. You could be standing right in front of him, maybe even be screaming at him that you are right there and to stop being an ass, and he would still look everywhere except down. If he actually ends up upsetting you, Han will grumble for a few minutes before trying to make it up to you, he really is sorry, he just never knows when to stop.

-As I said before, Han can be quite a bit of an ass when he wants to be, and when it comes to you, oftentimes even when he doesn’t actually intend to be mean. Unfortunately for the both of you, old habits die hard, and it is not rare for him to accidentally piss you off, especially when he gets a great laugh at your expenses.

Like the times he catches you struggling to reach something, and ends up finding your efforts hilarious. You’d have to plead with him for a while, before he makes any move to come to your rescue, and even then he won’t stop laughing until you get angry, you just might end up avoiding asking him all together, and find a solution by yourself.

When Han sees how crafty you can get to reach what you want, he will be genuinely quite impressed, but the best thing that will come out of his mouth will be something along the lines of “I've really gotta hand it to short people… because you usually can't reach it anyway.”

-Sure, Han might tease you to death, but Force help anyone else who dares to, especially if they actually hurt your feelings. He is ready to throw hands without a second of hesitation, and he will make the offender apologise.

The Mandalorian\ Din Djarin:

-Din never, ever, lets you get on your tippy toes or stretch your neck to kiss him. He will always bend down before you can even try to reach him, you'd almost think he has developed a sixth sense about it, and no matter how much you complain that he must already be tired and that it is no good for his back, he always shrugs and insists that he'd much rather it be his neck rather than yours. He'll forget all about it as soon as your lips touch his anyways, so he really doesn't mind.

-For as terrible as it sounds, Din is quite used to the child's height already, and although you are nowhere nearly as short, it simply means that he is already attuned to looking out for someone much smaller than him. He knows without even having to think about it whether something is a little too high up for you to reach, he instinctively looks for the smallest chair for you to sit on so that your feet won't be left dangling, and is just overall very aware of your size. In a good way, I swear.

-On kind of the same note, every time you wear heels, even more so if it isn't often, he instinctively looks lower than needed to meet your eyes. Din can get quite embarrassed about it and he always tries to adjust his stare as subtly as he can, and although his visor does help, it is not rare for you to catch him raising his head a little. It ends up looking quite silly, mostly because of how unnecessarily hard he tries to hide it, and you end up laughing at it a few times.

-Absolutely no climbing will happen under this man's watch, you could try to while he's asleep and he'd probably still get up to stop you, as I said before, he kind of has a sixth sense about it, it's the dad in him.

Din has no problem at all going out of his way to get you what you need, you won't even have time to try before it's already in your hands, especially if it stops you from trying to balance on three awkwardly piled stools, a cardboard box, a cluster of random objects he doesn't even understand how they're supposed to help, and way too many hopes and prayers. Honestly, he has seen this happen one time exactly, and it took twenty years off of his lifespan. Never again.

-Din truly doesn't want to underestimate you, your height doesn't make you fragile in any way, he knows that, but he still ends up being extra protective of you. One of the things he is the most glad for, is that your shorter stature makes it easier for him to cover you with his body. He's always wearing full body armour, and you most probably aren't, which is why he always thanks the stars every time someone is shooting at the two of you and him moving in front of you is enough to make you practically disappear.

-Din might not be a tailor, but he has mended his fair share of clothing throughout his life, and has become quite adept at it as well. And although he might not be able to make you clothes from scratch, he is more than able, and willing, to help you alter pretty much anything. Sawing with you, chatting about the day's events, maybe while enjoying the calming scenery of a beautiful planet as the child plays just a few meters away, has become one of his favourite ways to spend time with you and simply unwind.

Poe Dameron:

-Poe carries you around constantly, so much so that you fear you might forget how to use your own legs. He insists that considering you always end up on him one way or another, and it is mostly by his own doing with how much he likes having you close, you might as well enjoy the free rides.

But honestly, he kind of lacks the patience to slow down his steps so that you won't have to run after him, especially when he's particularly excited about something. Not that he wouldn't do it of course, he does, but to him it's much more convenient to just scoop you up and hurry to where you want to go.

-At times, when he can't refrain himself from teasing you, Poe will ask you to repeat what BB8 said, that he obviously understood just fine, because: “you can hear him better from down there”.

His jokes are never mean, and it is rare that he mentions your height at all, but when he does, most of the time it's something along the lines of him hugging or kissing you, and then remarking that he is “appreciating the little things”.

-Poe thinks you are absolutely adorable, and he will say so to your face. With him, no pride will be spared, at all. Why would he anyway, sure, your small stature makes you really cute, but why should that take away from your capability to kick ass? He is a firm believer in taking pride in every aspect of oneself, and when it comes to the greatest person he knows, he wants you to be proud of all that you are.

-On that same note, he will heavily dissuade you from wearing heels if you only do it because you are insecure of your height. You are stunning, and he reminds you of that every chance he gets, short or tall, you are always radiant, no need to be unnecessarily uncomfortable.

He also not so secretly loves your height difference, but that has nothing to do with his unconditional appreciation of you, although he really does like how well you fit into his chest when he holds you.

-Poe is the type to straight up ask you to wear his clothes. He doesn't know what the word subtle means, and he is really big on communicating what he is feeling and what he likes, so he sees no reason not to outright tell you how hot you look in his oversized shirts. If he already cannot keep his hands to himself for the life of him, be prepared to have him practically glued to your side the entire time you are donning his clothes.

-Poe will panic if he cannot find you in a crowd. The moment he loses sight of you he is in ‘rescue mode’, even though you are probably not in any danger, nobody kidnapped you in the half second he took his eyes off of you, and you in all likelihood did not get trampled by the crowd.

It is a bit better if he just lost you at base, he is at least sure you aren't in mortal peril then, but he might still resort to climbing something and call your name to find you as fast as he can. Yes, the people around you will think him insane, and yes, you might be tempted to pretend you do not know him, but please let him know you are alright, poor boy is worried.

-If you are having trouble reaching something, Poe will just lift you up and down to get it. Sure, he could get it for you, and that would be easier, but he doesn't want to do it in your place, unless you ask of course, he's simply trying to be the safer version of climbing a stool. It's also pretty much a constant ‘Simba moment’, which he finds hilarious.

Cal Kestis:

-Every time he's tired Cal rests his chin on your head, and whenever you are tired, you rest your head against his shoulder. You two are so adorable that it's enough to give everyone who sees you diabetes. Jokes aside, Cal is all about these casual, lighthearted displays of affection, and the fact that you two fit together so nicely is a great bonus.

-Unlike Han, Cal might actually forget to look down if he lost you in a crowd. He isn't trying to tease you, and he finds you quite quickly anyway, but he does have a tiny moment of confusion if he can hear you or sense you, but can't see you. He's going to laugh at himself for a while when he finally looks down and sees you standing there with a disappointed face.

You'd think that, like Din, he would be used to BD-1’s height, but his little companion is perched on his shoulder most of the time, so Cal might actually try to look behind himself before remembering to look down.

-Cal doesn't immediately come to your 'rescue’ when you're trying to reach something that's a little too high, even if you start climbing, simply because he doesn't want to overstep. You've got it, he knows that. He's just going to continue with whatever he is doing, while also keeping you in the corner of his eye, in case of a fall, and his ears open in case you do call for his help, in which case he will be by your side in a second.

-Cal never means to tease, but at times he might end up doing it accidentally. It's never mean, and it's usually just lighthearted comments about how small you are, never in a negative way. But if you do find it irritating, or you'd simply rather not hear it, you will only have to express it to him once, and he will do his damned best to watch his mouth from there on out.

-Cal has the time of his life anytime someone underestimates you, whether it is a physical type of fight or a verbal smackdown, he is just glad he gets to be present for it. Seeing them starting out all smug and full of confidence and then watching you kick their, literal or metaphorical, ass into next Thursday never fails to have him in stitches.

He also might or might not end up accidentally, and dramatically, quoting Shakespeare to them, something like "And though she be but little, she is fierce", it's up to you to decide whether you find that flattering or terribly embarrassing.

-Cal always, and I do mean always, wants to share earbuds with you. It's pretty much his unofficial love language, and he has a whole lot of playlists he made for you to listen to together on different occasions. He has a special soft spot for walking around hand in hand, enjoying the sights, and listening to your favourite songs. And he's not going to renounce to this little tradition even when all you have are wired earbuds, and your height difference means he has to walk leaning to the side the whole way. Sure, his back might hurt in a few hours, but the happiness he feels when the two of you get to relax in your shared little world is way more than worth it.

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selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 3 months

Note

Child reader who hates physical touch and I mean absolutely despise it but sometimes clingy to poe and akutagawa too feel comfortable because of their social anxiety

No pats

Self-Aware! Platonic! Edgar Allan Poe x GN! Child! Reader x Self-Aware! Platonic! Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Description: You are the cutest kid ever. Such a shame, that you don't like pats and hugs. Or, do you?

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

_____

🧥🦝 It was quite a surprise for BSD Cast, when they learned, that you are a child.

🧥🦝 They were a little bit worried. You are a kid, and you have read about some dark stuff in their manga. Aren't you too young to read about mafia, criminals and cities destruction?

🧥🦝 Well... There is nothing they can do about it. Besides, this revelation won't change much for them. They still adore you.

🧥🦝 How could they not adore you? You are sweet and cute child.

🧥🦝 After a little friendly competition between adult characters of an "acceptable for being an adopted parent", you were officially adopted by Bram.

🧥🦝 Bram is your guardian de jure. De facto you are adopted by every member of BSD Gang.

🧥🦝 BSD Cast do everything to make you feel happy. But, there is one little thing. And it makes them nervous.

🧥🦝 You hated any form of physical affection.

🧥🦝 Every time, someone tried to give you a head pat, you either froze or tried to dodge. And, while less tense, you didn't like, when other kids touched you.

🧥🦝 It made everyone feel puzzled and nervous.

🧥🦝 Were they scarring you? Has someone hurt you in the past? Maybe, they have rushed things, and you didn't want to be adopted by them?

🧥🦝 They decided to deal with the possibility of you being hurt in the past. Your medical records didn't show much. You were a healthy baby and healthy kid. But, documents can be forged.

🧥🦝 They needed to hear about your past from someone from your past. Teachers and people from orphanage.

🧥🦝 Time to call for Mushitarou's and Ango's abilities.

_______

"I swear, I didn't do anything bad! Please, don't hurt me!" Orphanage's director begged, trying to get away from Akutagawa.

Akutagawa's grip became stronger. Mafioso hissed. Rashomon slowly raised its head above Akutagawa's shoulder.

"I don't believe you. Why [Y/N] is so nervous, when someone are touching them?"

Director mewled, sobbed and lost consciousness.

Akutagawa rolled his eyes and lose his grip on Director. Man fall down on the floor, like a bag of potatoes.

Akutagawa stepped away and left the Director's office. He hopped, that Man-tiger could find something.

________

🧥🦝 Meanwhile, Poe decided to simply talk to you.

_______

You were enjoying your cake. Poe, who sat on the opposite side of the table, observed your movements. Karl was sitting on your lap. You wanted to give him a piece of your cake, but Poe warned you not to do this. Karl could become sick because of the cake.

"[Y/N], can I ask you something?" Poe's voice was warm and shooting. You nodded, silently chewing the sweet treat. Poe smiled. You looked like a hamster.

"[Y/N], are we scaring you? You always freeze, when someone tries to give you a head pat. Even when Q and Elise tried to hug you, you jumped away from them."

You swallow and shook your head.

"No! No! I love living with you. I just don't like being touched!"

Poe thought over your answer and asked another question.

"That's it? We won't be angry, if you feel nervous around us. It's okay to feel nervous in this situation."

You shook your head again.

"That's it. I always hated to be touched."

Poe just nodded. It's fine. He must tell others about it. So they won't make you upset anymore.

_______

🧥🦝 Akutagawa, Atsushi, Ango and Mushitarou didn't learn anything new about you. Everyone called you a sweet, quiet child, who have never got into troubles. At least, they've proved, that you weren't hurt in the past.

🧥🦝 When they returned home, Poe told them, what he has learned about you.

______

🧥🦝 Everything were fine.

🧥🦝 All of you slowly learned to be a family. You became more talkative. You started spending time with BSD Cast more often. You still didn't like physical affection. BSD Cast respected it.

🧥🦝 One day, something interesting happened.

🧥🦝 When you and Poe were getting groceries.

_______

The grocery store was almost empty.

As usual, you were walking close to Poe. As usual, weren't holding his hand or grabbing his sleeve. Poe kept a close eye on you.

Everything went fine. Until you two reached the candy aisle.

The bunch of kids, same age as you, were discussing their favorite candies. Kids were quite loud. But not loud enough to be asked to leave the store.

Then, Poe felt it. Two small hands grabbing his sleeve, and a child's face being pressed against his arm.

Poe looked at you. You looked nervous, glancing at the kids from time to time. You looked anxious.

Poe knew, too well, how social anxiety looked like. He carefully put his free hand on your head. You didn't move. You looked slightly grateful for having Poe's hand on your head.

"Want to leave?" whispered Poe. You nodded. Poe freed his arm from yours, took your hand, and went to the cash register.

You kept holding his hands. You let it go only when Poe and you almost reached home.

______

🧥🦝 You became more open in Poe's presence. You sent time in his room, playing with Karl, doing homework and reading books. Sometimes, you cling to Poe, when you felt nervous about school festivals/class gatherings.

🧥🦝 Soon, you found second person to be as open as you were with Poe.

🧥🦝 An unexpected one.

_____

You didn't like excursions. So many people around you makes you feel anxious. You take a deep breath. It didn't help to lessen your anxiety. So, you decide to move to the next step.

You clung to Akutagawa, who was accompanying you today.

Mafioso looked at you. He was slightly puzzled. But, after noticing your expression, unbuttoned his coat, hiding you with it.

"Thanks..." whispered you, clinging to Akutagawa's side.

"No problems," shrugged Akutagawa, giving you a headpat.

_____

🧥🦝 Now you have two people you go to, when you feel anxious. You liked to spend time with Poe and Akutagawa. Sometimes, you let them give you a headpat.

🧥🦝 Maybe, one day, you will cling to more people.

🧥🦝 For now, you have Older Brother Poe and Older Brother Akutagawa.

🧥🦝 And they will always be there for you.

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cloudyyoimiya · 11 months

Note

yandere poe headcanons with a reader who knows how to knit and so they knitted Karl a little hat or something ( I badly want this for some odd reason)

this is so sweet?? i hope you don’t mind me throwing in a scenario bc this is absolutely adorable?? thank you for requesting!!

His Darling Knits Something for Karl; Edgar Allan Poe

Format: Headcanons and scenario

Possible warnings: dark content, unhealthy relationships, mentions of kidnapping

How you learned to knit could be the result of two things. One being that you already knew how to knit before Poe kidnapped you, and two being that you learned to knit because you had a lot of time to kill while being held captive.

When Poe found out that you were able to knit, he’d enable your little hobby. He’d make sure to buy you top quality yarn and sturdy needles, only wanting the best for you. In a way it was a kind gesture, but it never really helped you put your guard down around him.

Sometimes when he spent time with you, he’d just sit in silence as he’d watch you knit. He really liked watching your hands create something, even if it was something small.

Unknown to him though, in secret you would make small accessories for Karl. At first it only started off as a small little scarf because you were running out of a certain yarn you liked, but then it evolved into making him small hats and little sweaters.

More often than not Karl would sit on your lap as you knitted him something. Sometimes he’d get in the way, but you didn’t mind. He was almost like a very cuddly cat as you knitted him his accessories. Maybe he enjoyed feeling like a spoiled little model?

You would hide the things you made for Karl under a loose floorboard that was in the corner of a room that Poe rarely entered. For the longest time, that was your little secret between you and the raccoon.

But then Poe started to notice that your yarn supply slowly started to disappear. At first he thought it was because you had a large project that you were hiding, but he found out that wasn’t the case rather quickly. He then started to think that Karl would steal the yarn, but he knew that the raccoon wouldn’t do something like that.

Eventually he decided to walk in on you while you were alone. That way it wouldn’t allow you to hide whatever you’re doing, and you’d be forced to show him. Of course he felt bad doing this, but he was concerned and genuinely curious as to what you were up to.

When he did find out what you were up to, he couldn’t be more in awe. He thought that what you were doing for Karl was absolutely adorable! How could he not?

Maybe, just maybe, he’d put in small requests for Karl. He knows the raccoon better than anyone, so he’s sure that he knows what he wants.

Scenario

Humming a light tune, you finally tied off a loose end on the hat you were making. The color of the yarn you used was almost a navy blue, and it had some white accents as well. It was also rather small—no human could obviously wear it—but that wasn’t your intention for the hat anyways.

You looked down at the raccoon that was sitting on your lap, letting out small chitters as he watched you work your magic. Karl looked up at you with a content expression if that was even possible for a raccoon.

“Here. It’s all finished,” you said as you placed the hat on Karl’s head. “Do you like it?”

Karl let out a happy chitter as he somehow managed to adjust the hat on his head. You then smiled down at him and gently pulled his ears through the tiny holes you made sure to put in the hat. Once you did that, you let out an amused chuckle at how cute the raccoon was.

Recently the two of you had became close friends, and Karl had made sure that you weren’t lonely while left on your own devices. Part of you thought that it was because Karl was sent to spy on you by Poe, but the other part of you liked it because you wouldn’t be so alone anymore.

You continued to adjust his hat until you heard the door open. Immediately you jumped in your seat and shot your gaze towards who was in the door frame. Unsurprisingly, it was your captor—Poe. He stared at you for a few moments, then started to smile as he saw Karl in a small hat.

“Did you make that for him?” He asked quietly. He then sat down next to you on the couch and started to pet Karl. “He seems to like it. I didn’t know you made him things…”

You gulped, then started to speak in a shaky voice. “Well yeah… I get bored of making normal stuff so I decided to make him some accessories.”

“You made more?” Poe asked after he analyzed your choice of working. “May I see?”

You only nodded then lightly pushed Karl to your side. He let out a sad chitter, but then he jumped up onto Poe’s shoulders as per usual. You then got up from your seat and headed over to a floorboard that was hidden under some carpet.

“In here there’s more,” you said as you ripped up the floorboard. You then started to pull out a small box. “Take a look.”

Poe nodded then opened the box. Once he did, his grin started to grow even wider as he pulled out the little accessories you made for Karl. The expression on his face told you that you were able to relax—he wasn’t mad at you for making these things and hiding them from him.

“These are adorable,” Poe simply spoke as he continued to rummage through the box. “Where did you find the time to make all of these?”

You bit your tongue so you didn’t say something that you’d regret. “Y’know… I have a lot of free time now since I don’t have to work anymore.”

Poe nodded. “Oh my darling, these are so thoughtful of you to make! I love them so much!” He then paused and looked at you. “Why did you feel the need to hide these from me though?”

You bit your tongue once more, holding back another insulting response. “I didn’t know how you’d react, Poe— Edgar.”

“Oh dear… There’s no need to hide anything from me,” he said with a smile. “You can tell me anything.”

You internally rolled your eyes. You knew that some things you wanted to say were best kept in your mind, and you’d rather keep it that way.

“Alright, I understand.”

Poe then walked over towards you and gave you a small kiss on your forehead. “I’m glad… I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, trying to not gag at your own words. You knew it was best to comply when he said those three words.

Poe stayed silent for a moment, then looked at the clothes you made for Karl. “Can you make him a small sweater? …Can you make me a sweater as well?”

You let out a small sigh. “Yes, of course.”

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the-little-ewok · 8 months

Text

Collateral Damage

Poe Dameron x G!N reader

Rating : M

Wordcount : 6800 (ish)

Warnings : Friends to lovers, sort of slow burn I suppose, angst, fluff, reader has a fear of flying, arguing, vague illusions to Poe's torture by the FO, vague mention of parental death (Poe's mom), mentions of panic attacks.

Summary : Poe finds out you are scared to fly, and makes it a personal challenge to fix that. Only spending so much time together, causes some complications.

A/N : there's a few bits here that mention Poe's past as a child which is from Freefall however there are no direct Freefall spoilers contained, and it isn't necessary to have read it to enjoy this.

To the anon that requested an angst to fluff Poe fic...I hope you enjoy!

"Poe, please don't look at me like that!" You beg.

"Like what?" Poe gives you a genuinely confused look, as though he hasn't been staring at you for the past ten minutes like you're a particularly complex puzzle he needs to work out.

"Like there's something wrong with me," you sigh, twisting the mug of tea nervously in your hands.

"I never said that! But seriously? You're scared? Of flying? This is a joke right?"

"I just think if we were made to fly we'd have wings is all." You shrug, trying to be nonchalant as you sip your drink, your fingers pressing hard into the china as you try to ignore his shock. You don't look up but you can feel his eyes burning into you.

"How did I not know this? How have you hidden it from me of all people! I'm equally impressed and offended." You suspect by his tone he's more offended than impressed, but it was never truly your intention to hide it from him. The secret just sort of… happened.

When you were children you barely knew Poe, not until after he returned to Yavin, his eyes a little darker than they had been before, his steps a little more calculated, though no less bold. When you started helping Kes out around the little farm he bought, you had gotten to know Poe a lot better. Barely tolerating him at first, before you fell into an close friendship. It had been easy enough to deny his requests to go flying with him in the early days, especially given the amount of trouble he got into.

Then when you were older Poe seemed to flit in and out of your life. Between the academy, the navy, and now the resistance, sometimes it seemed like he was never around.

But he always reappeared eventually. He came back to Yavin sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. He used your back garden like his personal shipping yard, but you never had the heart to tell him off about it, despite the fact you had smashed more than your fair share of crockery in shock at the sudden noise of a roaring engine coming down on your house.

Everytime he asked if you wanted to go flying you found some excuse not to, sometimes elaborate ones you aren't even sure Poe believed. You assume perhaps he thought you were avoiding spending time alone with him, which was in part true some of the time.

You could have told him the truth, but the way he lit up when he talked about flying — the freedom of it, the adventure of it — had always made the words dry in your mouth. He couldn't possibly understand, and you knew he would react, well, exactly as he had.

"I didn't! You never asked, and it never came up in conversation. It shouldn't have tonight. It's irrelevant. I don't need to fly," you shrug stubbornly, wanting to get away from the topic if only to stop the quizzical gaze he's fixed you with since it came up.

"But-but there's a whole galaxy you're missing out on!" He splutters, still wide eyed with shock. "You can't tell me you want to spend the rest of your life on Yavin."

"I like Yavin!"

Poe gives a huff of disbelief at you, folding his arms.

"Liar."

"You know Poe, not all of us have the need to fly out into the night and get blown to pieces like you," you sigh, rubbing a hand over your eyes, frustrated at his reaction. "Anyways it's late. I should go."

Getting up you put your mug in the sink and grab your jacket, intent on leaving and finding some way to avoid this topic for the next however many years, probably forever.

"Hey, hey, don't go. I'm sorry, okay?" Poe begs getting up and taking a gentle grip of your arm to prevent you moving. You ignore the fire that ignites your skin where his fingers are wrapped loosely around your arm.

"Tell me what scares you? About flying I mean? Let me try and understand," he pleads.

Taking a breath you sigh. How could you explain it to someone who spent their whole life up there? How could you explain it to someone who lived and breathed the freedom of the flight?

"Pilots die, all the time. Things go wrong, fights, pirates, technical failures…" you trail off with a wave of your hand, freeing your arm from his gentle grip, not used to his touch. "I just…can't stand the thought of dying alone out there in the cold. It's hard enough worrying about that happening to you."

"You sound like my dad," Poe sighs quietly. "He didn't want me flying either. Not after my mom."

Reaching back out you squeeze his hand briefly, knowing that while the relationship between Poe and Kes had somewhat mended over the years, some cracks ran too deep to ever be fully healed.

"You know, Kes never shuts up about you flying. Always talking about what a good pilot you are and how your mom would be so proud of you, how you fly just like her. I swear it's all I heard for weeks the last time you were here."

Poe falls quiet for a long moment, deep in thought, a frown etched deep into his brow.

"He's proud of you, Poe. I know he struggles to say it sometimes, but he is," you offer gently.

Poe waves a hand nonchalantly, as though it doesn't bother him, but you know it does.

"Well you know my dad likes to keep things to himself, but apparently not from you," he eyes you somewhat suspiciously. "He likes you, you know. He told me once I should marry you. Imagine that, us, married."

He lets out a snort of a laugh as he shakes his head at the thought. You want to make a joke about it, you want to laugh it off and tell him you'd never agree to it even if he asked, but the spark of feelings you've so carefully navigated all these years flared to life suddenly and in full force at his words.

There's always been something between you, something a little more than friendship, something you both know can't be. Something both of you have avoided talking about for a long time now.

Perhaps when you were younger maybe you could have figured something out, but Poe was hardly ever around and now, well now your worlds were too far apart. Yours here on the ground, his far off in the stars. It was better not to prod too hard at open wounds, but Poe's laughter at the thought of you together, still cuts deeply.

Something must flicker across your expression because his amusement dies and Poe gives you a half smile.

"It's just, you know, you're seeing someone. Aren't you?"

"It didn't work out." You shrug as though you don't care. The truth was it never worked out, because you would always be in love with someone else. How were you supposed to give your heart away when at any given moment the one that makes it beat could drop from the sky without warning?

"Oh," he sounds genuinely sad which only drives the knife further in. You drop your eyes from his, pulling at a loose thread on your jacket as he continues. "I'm sorry. You'll meet someone else though! Although maybe…. Off this planet?"

You sigh and roll your eyes. Really you shouldn't be surprised that he found a way to spin the topic right back to your issues with flying, which you suppose was better than your love life so at least there was that.

"Oh come on. You can't be scared if you haven't tried it! Lemmie take you!" Poe sounds like an excited child on life day. Clearly the thought of conquering your fear appealed to him.

"Absolutely not! I've seen the way you fly!"

"Did you not just say even my dad thinks I'm good at flying? And besides," he leans on the counter, a shit eating grin plastering his face, "didn't you hear I'm the best pilot in the resistance?"

You roll your eyes at his cocky statement.

"Poe, I've heard a great deal of things about you over the years, not all of them I can believe and most of them I've had to defend your good name against!"

He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head like a curious loth cat.

"Like what?"

You quickly go through the ment rollerdex of things you've heard, deciding to pick out your favourite.

"Like… the time you apparently almost married a Hutt."

Poe opens his mouth and then closes it again, suddenly becoming very interested in a tin of tea on the side. He picks it up, rolling it between his palms, purposely not looking at you.

"Well, really that wasn't even my fault," he mumbles eventually, realising you aren't going to fill the expectant silence.

He can't seriously have done that? The ridiculous story can't possibly be the truth?

"You have to be kidding me! I got into the biggest argument that you wouldn't be so stupid to get into something with them. Do I even want to know the real story?"

You had vehemently defended your friend, arguing well into the night that while yes, Poe was reckless, and yes sometimes he spoke without thinking, and yes sometimes trouble found him, you were still absolutely sure the story was completely untrue. You suppose you have a few apologies to make now.

"It's not like I intended to agree to the marriage! It just sort of… happened."

You stare at him, open mouthed waiting for the rest of the story, knowing he won't be able to resist defending himself. But instead of launching into a lengthy explanation he grins, setting the tea down slowly and fixing you with an expression you are all too familiar with. The one he uses when he knows he's about to get something he wants.

"Trade. I'll fly you somewhere. Then I'll tell you."

And there it was. He knew you wanted to know the truth, unable to resist a good story about the far off places he visited and troubles he got into. You should have predicted the bastard would use that against you.

You fold your arms.

"No."

"I'll just fly you to the other side of Yavin? Short trip, in and out."

"No!"

Poe sighs dramatically, pushing himself up off the counter.

"Fine. You drive a hard bargain. I'll tell you the whole story if you let me show you around my ship and tell you how unscary it is to fly. Strictly no piloting."

"Please agree so you can both shut up. It's after midnight, and the noise you two make will bring the first order down on our heads without them even looking!" Kes Dameron booms from the hallway, making both of you jump.

"Sorry dad!" Poe yells while he gives you a grin of victory.

"Sorry Kes! I'm leaving now." With a sigh of resignation you slip on your jacket. "Fine. No flying."

"No flying," Poe agrees with a nod, holding out his hand and wriggling his fingers invitingly. You hesitate to take it, but he slides his hand into yours anyway, squeezing your fingers. "I'll walk you home."

You try not to think about how right it feels to have your hand in his.

"Poe, Poe," you repeat a little louder as he continues rambling away, pointing to the different parts of his X-Wing, a misty look in his eyes. You're sure you lost him a good while ago, and he hasn't stopped talking long enough for you to explain you have no idea what he's talking about.

"You have to put your hand up to ask a question when I'm teaching," he chides you teasingly. Rolling your eyes you put your hand up, glaring at him when he grins silently at you for a long drawn out moment. Just as your patience breaks, opening your mouth to ask anyway, he cuts in first.

"You have a question?"

"Several," you respond dryly. "Firstly, can you please slow down? I've no idea what you've been talking about for the last twenty minutes. Secondly, I'm pretty sure you've told me about everything that can go wrong and now I want to be near this thing even less. Thirdly -"

"This thing? This thing?" He interupts, his eyes going wide with shock. "This thing is a T-70 X-wing. I've done a lot of work on this thing!"

"I apologise I insulted your ship," you laugh, watching his brows pull together in an annoyed frown. Maker, Flyboys! As cute as he was you couldn't really expect any other reaction.

"Don't apologise to me. Apologise to her!" He points at his ship before he folds his arms stubbornly, as though he's actually serious. You pause for a moment, realising he is serious.

"Thirdly, I don't think this is helping and I'm sure you have better things to be doing," You continue, ignoring his sulk. Poe drops his arms, his expression softening.

"It is helping," he insists. "If you know what can go wrong then you know how to fix it, or how to account for it at the least. Then that part isn't so scary anymore. I promise."

"It doesn't feel like it's helping," you mumble, wrapping your arms around your chest, the low hum of anxiety vibrating under your ribs. "I'm sorry. I'm not being ungrateful. It's very nice of you to do this."

"You don't think I can do it," he grins and you roll your eyes at him for what feels like the thousandth time since he's been back.

"I'm not a challenge," you remind him with a glare.

"You kinda are though," he grins. Trust Poe to see this as some sort of game he can win. "Come on. You can trust me. I know about these things. How'd you think I survived this long?"

"Sheer dumb luck?"

Poe laughs, a deep elated noise that brings a smile to your lips and makes your heart ache with affection. It seems so rare these days that he truly laughs like that, and when he does, here with you, it only makes his inevitable absence harder to swallow.

"Probably a bit of that too," he admits with a shrug. "Okay, new plan."

He plonks himself down on the ground, patting the space in front of him for you. When you're settled opposite him he takes both your hands in his. When you try to pull away, the touch giving a jolt in your chest, he grips your fingers tighter, forcing you to stay with him. It's an all too familiar dance now. You push him away, and he only proceeds to try and hold you closer. When he's here you wish he wouldn't, but when he's gone, you ache for his easy familiarity.

He gives you a genuine open look, and your heart aches a little that he's truly trying to help when you feel so beyond helping.

"What do you think about when you get scared? When you think about being up there. What is it that worries you so much?"

"I guess dying alone?" You suppress a shudder at the thought of floating out there in the darkness, no one to hear you scream for help.

The pilot doesn't even miss a beat before he answers quickly.

"Okay, I'd be with you so that's not a problem. We would die together."

You glare at him, unamused. Ignoring your vehement stare he gestures for you to continue.

"Fine. Being shot out of the sky. Lot of time to think about dying while you're plummeting to the ground."

He gives you a grin, "We both know that's not an issue because I'm a great pilot, so no matter where we are I promise you I'll land safely, all parts intact, especially all the bits I like," he winks and you desperately try to ignore the flare of heat on your skin. "I've done it so many times I could do it in my sleep! Next problem."

"Kidnapped by pirates." You shoot quickly.

"They'll give you back after half an hour." Poe snorts with laughter when you reach out and slap his arm hard.

"Asshole," you grumble, fighting back a smile.

He grins at you, clearly enjoying himself at your expense and while you should mind his teasing, you find it hard to care, not when his eyes are lit up with genuine joy.

"You are really not helping," you laugh eventually, shaking your head. "I'm a lost cause."

"Not entirely, just mostly. I mean none of these are good reasons to be scared," Poe smiles and you have to admit it chafes you a little that he still doesn't seem to understand.

"I never said my fear was rational."

"It's not entirely irrational either," Poe acknowledges with a shrug, finally allowing you to pull your hands out of his while he taps his chin in thought. You curl your fingers into your palms, willing away the memory of his touch.

"What you need is a distraction!" Poe proclaims brightly. For a shocked moment you think he's talking about a distraction from him, which is entirely exactly what you need. But he keeps talking and you realise it's nothing like that, although he inadvertently makes you distracted anyway, from flying at least.

"Yeah, something to take your mind off getting up there."

You shake your head, knowing it won't work. Suddenly this whole thing seems like a bad idea. Poe wasn't one to give up, and yet over the years you've tried just about everything to get over your fear. A weariness starts to creep in, encouraging you to make your excuses and leave.

"I doubt anything would distract me that much. Anyway, I think we should do something else. Flying isn't that important." You try, knowing it's hopeless now you've encouraged him this much.

"What if I flew naked?" He grins, wiggling his eyebrows. His constant blatant flirting is starting to take a toll, and you can't muster even a smile this time. He knows, yet he does it anyway. It's infuriating sometimes, purposely poking and prodding when you're just trying to get by without spilling your heart all over the grass.

"Coming from the person who laughed at the notion of us being married, I don't see how you think I'd care about that." You don't quite mean to bite it out the way you do, but Poe ignores your attitude and leans back on his arms, gazing at you.

"Yeah, because we'd argue all day long about everything. I'd be messy, and you'd want a tidy house, we would fight over what to have for dinner, because you won't believe I'm the better cook, I'd want to paint the walls blue, but you'd want green. You'd want to live here and I wouldn't." He waves his hand, indicating that there would be a longer list of issues if he continued. "The thought of us being married is funny because it would be chaotic, not because I don't love you."

The words hit you like a shot, and judging by the look of fear on the pilot's face he probably hadn't thought them through before they left his mouth.

"Guess the cats out of the bag now. Well, suppose it was never really fully in the bag anyway," he mumbles, running a hand through his messy curls, before he stares up at the sky. "I mean, I know we've never….I know we've never gone down that road, but you know I've always had a soft spot for you."

You knew. Of course you knew. You both held an affection for each other, but you also know it wasn't meant to be. Maker knows you've spent your life trying to get over him, and Poe… well he never breathed a word about his feelings in the matter. You assumed he had moved on some time ago. If his list of conquests was anywhere half true, he moved on quite well.

You avoid his gaze, looking down at the dirt. "Love is a lot different than a soft spot. Seems funny you never mentioned that before."

Poe swallows, sitting back up properly and reaching to take your hands, you snatch them back before he has a chance, a swell of anger starting in your chest. There is no need for him to tell you this. You don't want him to tell you this. It won't make any difference to say it out loud.

"I knew I couldn't stay so what was the point? You've said yourself how much you love Yavin. Who was I to ask you to give it all up? You deserve someone who could be there for you, where you wanted to be. You still deserve someone like that."

"So why bring it up when you know it isn't you?" You snap angrily, getting to your feet, panic pulsing through your veins. While you've had this conversation a hundred times in your head, in reality you have no idea how to react. Suddenly the open wound becomes a sinkhole, and every wall you've placed around your feelings starts to crumble in. Your chest constricts with panic. He can't do this now. Not after all this time. You won't be able to rebuild what he's torn down. This will burn your friendship to the ground.

"Because I'm selfish," the pilot admits, jumping up and following you as you storm across the garden towards the house, the flaring pain in your chest getting worse with each word that leaves his mouth. You won't talk about this. You can't talk about this.

"Yes, you are! You blaze in and out of my life and everytime I think I might have a chance to mend myself, you come tearing down from the sky. Maybe it is about time to actually have this conversation so we can both move on!" You spin on your heel to face him, stepping back when he reaches for you again.

If he touches you now you won't ever be able to let him go, he'll find a way to calm you down and you don't want to be calm. You want to be angry. You want to yell, scream, and let out every feeling you've kept locked inside. You want him to feel even a small spark of what he's done to you for years. You need to be angry.

"Why can't we just be together now?" He interrupts your rant.

"What's the point, Poe? You know I won't leave, I can't leave. And you can't stay. It won't work and we both know it."

"We don't know that because we haven't tried!" He implores passionately. "You can come with me! The resistance would be lucky to have you. If you just try! If you just let me show you. I promise it's not so scary, and then we can go anywhere we like!"

"I can't do it, Poe. I just can't and there's no point trying to make you of all people understand that."

You turn to leave but this time he's quicker than you, reaching out and catching hold of your wrist.

"So this is how it ends is it? We dance around this for years and then we just do what? Give up?" The pain lacing his voice is enough to make your lip tremble as you bite back the tears.

"You're right. We've danced around this for years because we both know it isn't going to work! Why now? Why after all this time decide to drag all this up now?"

"Because we are in the middle of a war. Because I don't know what's going to happen to me tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. Because I might not be here to tell you this, and for some reason it kills me that I might be gone and you would never know that I loved you. I've waited years for you to find someone who makes you happy, someone who gives you everything I can't, but everytime I come here I know it hurts you because it hasn't happened. And I need you to know that someone, that I, love you. I don't think I can just walk away this time." He sounds resigned and it crumbles away every last brick you had to protect yourself. Poe doesn't think he's going to survive this war. In the end, he knows he's going to leave you anyway.

It makes you angry to hear him talk that way. Poe was the upbeat one. Poe was the one who always figured a way out. He doesn’t just accept the inevitable. And you don't need him concerned about you either.

"Well you should just walk away, because I don't need your pity!" You yell, feeling the hot tears escaping your eyes.

"That's not what it is!" Poe takes a breath, clearly trying to calm himself and de-escalate the situation. "I'm just trying to be honest with you for once. I can't just leave and say nothing this time."

"You mean like you have every time you disappear into the sky for months on end?" You laugh bitterly.

The pilot swallows, his eyes searching yours, pleadingly, begging you to understand why now, but the anger still swells in your chest.

"I've always come back to you. Every time I can. For Makers sake do you think I'd be here so often if you weren't?"

When you say nothing Poe frowns, reading your expression all too clearly.

"You won't even consider coming with me? You won't even try?"

You wrap your arms around your waist, holding yourself together as you shake your head.

"I can't. We can't and you know it. I…can't leave. I can't leave," you repeat in a whisper, shaking your head, the tears flowing fast down your cheeks.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Poe apologies softly, reaching out to take your arms, drawing you close to him. You try to fight it, pulling your body away, but Poe ignores you, holding you tight against him until you stop fighting, allowing him to hug you tightly.

"I know you can't leave," he admits, letting you go to cup your cheek, his palm warm against your cooled skin, his thumb sweeping away tears. "You don't have to, okay? Just say the word. Say the word and I'll be here, with you. I'll stay right here so we can try. Tell me that's what you want. Tell me you feel the same and I'll do it."

You know what he's offering, and you know he can't fulfil it. He's speaking without thinking it through, in desperation, trying to fix things, to fix the damage his words have done.

You wish you could accept it, but the thought of Poe grounded, here, a place he fought so hard to escape, causes an ache in your chest. You know it can't be that way.

Maybe he would give it all up for you, but it would never be enough. Not for him. Eventually the cracks would form, and he'd be gone, and leave you so much more broken than you already were.

"Tell me you feel the same," he whispers, leaning into you.

"Don't do this," you beg softly, bring your hands up to rest on his arms to push him away. You can't seem to make your body follow through with the action.

"Then stop me," Poe challenges, his hand sliding around the back of your neck. He's so close you can feel his breath against your lips, the warmth of his body against yours.

Maker, he was going to break your heart. He won't stay, he can't stay. You won't make him do that, not for you. But you're sick of fighting it, sick of trying to pretend. He's here, with you, wanting you. Just this once, once can't hurt.

The screeching beep of his comms stops you both, the sudden insistent noise cutting through the tension and your own clouded thoughts, making you step away from him quickly. Poe lets you go, his expression pained, though he doesn't move to answer the incoming call.

Swallowing hard you gesture to his pocket, refusing to meet his gaze, fearful of what you might find there.

"You should get that."

"Yeah," he nods distractedly, taking a breath and fishing the comm out. He holds it in his hands, glaring at it before his gaze flickers back to you. "Can we talk later?"

You hesitate initially but then nod. Later gave you time to think, to process everything, to try to explain to him why this can't be. Maybe you can salvage your friendship after some time apart.

A tiny voice in your head whispers the vicious truth. It was too late for that.

It's less than an hour before he leaves again, back on urgent business for the resistance. You hadn't opened the door when he came to say goodbye. You hadn't answered when he asked if you wanted him to stay, and you hadn't the strength to smile and see him off this time. He left you with the memory of his muffled voice, promising he will come back, promising he'll figure out a way to make this work, begging you to think, to try.

For once you're grateful he's gone. At least he isn't around to see the damage.

The tea Kes Dameron had pressed into your hands has long since gone cold as you stare out at the grass, little shoots growing where previously a star fighter engine had burnt them away, one that so far hadn't returned, and perhaps never would.

There's a sigh behind you, a creak of the porch steps as Kes sits down next to you. The older man had come to help you fix the flickering light in the kitchen, something you'd have once asked Poe how to fix, allowing him to instruct you via comlink, teasing and laughing at your questions and frustrations. But you hadn't spoken to Poe, not in months now, too ashamed and regretful of your behaviour, and too fearful of what speaking with him may bring up.

"He was asking about you again earlier. You can't keep avoiding his comms."

You can feel Kes's eyes on you but you refuse to look up from the dent in the grass. You don't need to ask who he means.

"I'm not. Poe calls at bad times."

Kes makes a disbelieving noise, taking the now cold mug out of your hands and setting it down to the side, making you finally look up.

"It's been a bad time for the past two months. What happened between you?" He frowns at you.

"Nothing." It was the truth. In the end nothing had happened, not really. But the almost of it, the almost hurt worse.

You don't want to talk about Poe. You don't want to think about it. But the next question slips out without you being able to stop it.

"How is he?"

Kes lets out a long breath.

"You know Poe, all smiles and reassurances but he hasn't been the same. Not since…" Kes trails off and your stomach gives a now familiar lurch at the memory of Kes turning up at your door, pale and scared, stuttering out that the First Order had captured his son. As far as you know Poe never told Kes what happened in those days he was gone, but if the stories you heard were even half true, you're surprised he made it out alive.

"He needs someone there," Kes continues eventually.

"He has his squadron." You ignore what Kes is implying. It's a conversation you've had a hundred times over now. It makes your chest ache in a now all too familiar way.

"He needs you, and for all your denial you need him. You can't spend your whole life moping around here. I can make the arrangements to get you there. You just have to say the word."

You had tried in the weeks following his departure to do as he asked, to fly. You had walked to the shipping yard every day, listened to the roar of the engines, talked to the pilots, tried with every fibre to set foot on a ship, any ship, but you couldn't do it.

You had come to accept that you were right to distance yourself. There was no way for you to be together.

"Kes, I can't do that. I… me and Poe… we just aren't… our lives don't fit together." The shame burns in your chest that you couldn't be there for him when he needed someone the most, after his escape from the First Order.

Kes scoffs in an all too familiar way. You wonder if Poe knows where he got that reaction from, if he knows how much like his father he can be.

"Don't fit together? You kids," Kes rolls his eyes. "Nothing in this life is ever easy. If you want something enough you'll find a way through it. Poe's mother," he hesitates, the words catching in his throat. It's rare for Kes to mention Shara, but when he does, it always seems it causes him physical pain. The older man swallows hard before he continues, looking up at the sky.

"She was a free spirit like Poe. But she loved with her whole heart, and so does he. He'd give up the world for you. Don't let your fear hold you back. Don't make the same mistake with him that I did. If you do, you may lose him forever."

Kes was right in a way, your fear was holding you back, it always had. You'd always known Poe's heart was in the stars, and your fear would never let you leave the ground. But Poe had offered to give his world up for you — his stars, his resistance, his freedom. Even if he couldn't stick to it, he was willing to try.

Maybe you could try again. For him.

Poe is still in his flight suit, his hair damp and messy, helmet clutched in one hand, talking animatedly with another pilot who you vaguely recognise, who apparently knows you straight away. The pilot nudges Poe — who continues to chatter away obviously— before forcefully spinning him around to point at you.

You can tell you are probably the very last person he's expecting. His eyes go wide and he blinks a few times, as though he's imagining you here. He opens and closes his mouth but whatever words he wanted to get out, don't seem to come, or at least you can't hear them across the yard.

You hadn't told him you were coming. In fact, you still hadn't answered a single one of his comms. It's not that you hadn't wanted to talk to him, but more that you hadn't wanted to disappoint him if, in the end, you couldn't go through with it. Getting here had taken weeks, the trip was rearranged three times after you found yourself unable to get on the ship, and in the end Kes had dragged you in himself and tied you into your seat, reasoning that you needed a push. He was probably right, but you would still be having words when you saw him again.

Raising a hand to Poe you give him a small wave, glad that you landed a good few hours before he returned from whatever mission run he was on this time. It had given you time to clean up and compose yourself, for the shaking to finally stop.

You hesitate in the landing bay, unsure if you should go over or stay put. Poe decides for you because the moment you move a foot forward, he runs to you, skidding to a stop almost toe to toe with you.

"Here-you-h-how?" He stutters out looking you over, as though you might have been kidnapped and dragged here against your will. "Is everything okay? What's happened? My dad-"

"Is fine," you cut him off, recognising his rising panic. "Everything's okay at home. I just thought it was about time I came to see you for once." You give him a nonchalant wave of your hand and a shrug, although your stomach feels full of stones as you take in the new scar across his cheek.

"But… you wouldn't even fly with me!" He sputters out, as though that's the most important point.

You give him an apologetic smile.

"Your dad made me realise I needed to be here," you confess, "We heard about what happened. Your dad was worried about you and how…" you were coping after being tortured.

You don't finish the sentence, swallowing hard.

"I was worried about you." You drop your eyes, instead gazing down at his scuffed boots, still feeling ashamed you hadn't been here sooner.

The pilot sighs, "I'd have come to you if you'd just answered my calls. I just thought you didn't want to see me, and then things here got… a bit crazy."

"I know, but the way we left things. I didn't know…I couldn't…I'm sorry. I tried to come, I really did. I couldn't and… I couldn't tell you…I panicked and everything that happened, and what we said, and what I did, and I wanted to be here for you when you were… but I couldn't. I tried but i couldn't do it, and then -"

"Stop, stop, stop," Poe shushes you, pulling you into his arms and holding you against him tightly, while you try to ramble out an explanation, an apology, and confession all in one, the words tumbling together, desperate to escape.

"Shhh stop," he repeats softly, squeezing you against his chest.

It's more than just a friendly hug, it's more than just a greeting. He holds you tighter than he ever has, one hand curled into the back of your shirt while the other grips his helmet, his face buried in your neck, as though he could hide from the world. Your heart aches for him and everything he's been through as you hold him.

You wait for him to ask you questions, to call you out on how you acted, even to tease you for the whole situation.

Instead, "I'm so proud of you," is all he says.

You bite your lip hard to hold back a flow of tears, gripping his flight suit as he squeezes you breathless.

"I can't believe I wasn't your first," he huffs suddenly against your skin.

"What?" You squeak, heat flushing over your skin at the sudden change in conversation.

"Pilot! I wanted to take you on your first flight," He sighs, pulling away to pout at you in the most adorable of ways. It makes you want to laugh at the look of actual disappointment on his face. You hadn't realised it had meant so much to him, then you remember that he had seen you as a challenge and can't help but wonder if it's purely that someone else won, where he lost. You can tease him about it later and find out.

For now you'll sooth his jealousy just a little.

"Does it help if I tell you your dad had to basically restrain me. I cried, had I don't know how many panic attacks, shut my eyes the whole way, and I absolutely never want to do it again?"

Poe considers this for a minute before he grins, "Kinda does… but not the crying or panic bit. Or the fact you don't want to do it again" he clarifies quickly, before you have a chance to tease him about enjoying your misery. "We can work on changing that last part. And I'm still sad you didn't trust me to take you first."

"Well maybe if you didn't fly that barely legal piece of junk X-Wing I'd have-"

He suddenly leans forward and presses his lips to yours, cutting off any further insults you could throw at his ship, and while his kiss takes you by surprise, it's not unwelcome, and you immediately find yourself sinking into it.

The kiss tastes of desperation, of impatience, of longing buried for too long.

You let out a soft moan as his tongue licks into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You tangle your fingers in his sweat damp curls in the way you've wanted to for so long.

His helmet thumps noisily to the ground when he drops it to wrap both his arms around you this time, pulling your body hard against his. He slides one hand up your back to the back of your neck, holding your mouth to his as he kisses you passionately.

This time it isn't his comms that interrupt you, but the hollering cheer of his squadron.

You pull apart suddenly, your cheeks hot with embarrassment.

Poe gives you an abashed smile, throwing a rude hand gesture to his still cheering comrades, mumbling a soft apology.

"Sorry, I just decided it might be better to skip the talking part this time, since it didn't really work out so well last time."

You can't help but let out a soft laugh, feeling dizzyingly elated at the lingering feel of his lips on yours.

"No, it did not."

Poe grins, drawing you close once more, "now what were you saying about my beautiful custom X-Wing that you are absolutely going to be flying one day?"

You roll your eyes. Flyboys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Special thanks to @mandinlore for the beta 😘

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x gn!reader #poe dameron x gender neutral reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron

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tokagedreams · 10 months

Text

EDGAR ALLAN POE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

(a/n: i have soooo many more thoughts about poe bro i love him so much..anyway, fellow poe fans if you have poe requests i am begging you to drop them in my inbox)

pre-relationship

- the two of you met back in america years ago. you guys start out as ride-or-die best friends, you’re the inseparable duo that does everything together. when poe goes to yokohama with the guild, you go with him even if you’re not a guild member.

- you’re an infuriating case of ‘the two besties that are clearly in love with each other but would rather die than confess because they’re convinced their feelings are unrequited when they obviously aren’t’. you’ve basically been acting like a couple for at least a year but somehow you and poe are both convinced that it’s just a friendship to the other person and nothing more.

- both the guild and the ADA assumed you were already dating until poe referred to you as his ‘best friend’ and they’re just like are you fr right now?? 🤨 it’s literally so freaking obvious you two are head over heels in love to everyone except for you and poe. especially if you’re not even in the guild and you moved across the world just to be with poe 💀 ranpo (affectionately) hates you guys because you refuse to believe him when he tells you that your feelings are requited.

confession

- ranpo #1 wingman frfr!! at first he tries to make it happen naturally, but eventually he realizes that’s a lost cause..so he basically forces poe to confess to you because he’s so sick and tired of hearing poe lament about how you don’t love him back when you obviously do!! i could see ranpo being like “i’m not reading any of your new novels until you confess to (y/n) 😈” and that would be the final straw because poe is not about to throw away all his chances of ever beating his rival.

- i think we all agree that poe is a hopeless romantic, but i feel like he would just be too anxious to actually do anything fancy for a confession. he’s probably fantasized about the perfect confession a hundred times, but when he gets pressured to actually do it, all of those plans go out the window because he’s just freaking out lol.

- he’d tell you to come over because he needs to ‘show you something important’, he doesn’t make it obvious that he’s going to confess his feelings at all. so you get to his house and he tells you to wait on the couch while he gathers everything, and you’re starting to get anxious too because you’re like ummm wtf is he about to show me?? poe goes to his office and after a moment of ‘gathering’ (he actually already had his stuff sorted beforehand, he spent the entire time petting karl to muster up some courage), he brings you this giant stack of messy papers and just stands there awkwardly. and you’re so freaking confused until you start reading them and you realize that they’re all love letters and poems about you, written by poe himself. they’re all dated too so you can see that they range from today all the way back to like at least two years ago.

- poor poe is actually sitting there literally trembling while you read, anxiously waiting for you to respond. obviously you tell him you love him too, and he honestly looks like he doesn’t believe it or just can’t process it for a second, you have to kiss him on the cheek or something to get him to register the fact that you seriously love him. but after that he’s like the happiest you’ve ever seen him, he’s hugging you so hard, grabbing your hands and he might even excitedly kiss your face a couple times. this is genuinely a dream come true for him so he can go a little wild as a treat <3

- he owes ranpo so bad after this btw 💀

relationship

- since you and poe had been acting like a couple for a long while before officially getting together, it’s not that hard to get used to an actual relationship. now there’s just a lot less uncertainty and hesitance, you can comfortably do all of the things that you previously chickened out of because you didn’t want to ‘ruin your friendship’. your feelings aren’t a secret anymore, so you both have free reign to be as affectionate as you want to be.

- in terms of love language, i really feel like poe could appreciate any kind of love from you. he might be a little shy about physical affection, and he probably won’t want to do much of it in public, but in private i think he would secretly love it. his favorite type of love to receive from you would probably be words of affirmation, this man needs that praise and validation so badly!! in the beginning of your relationship, he doesn’t know how to handle your compliments, if you’re flirty he will simply explode. he eventually gets more accustomed to it, but he still blushes like crazy and gets all bashful every time you praise him. his favorite type of love to give to you is probably acts of service, just look at how much he bends over backwards to do favors for ranpo in canon lol. he will do literally anything for you!! with his absurd salary and spending habits, you can count on being showered in gifts too, he just wants to spoil you!

- you and poe are definitely one of those couples that enjoys just chilling in the same room doing your own separate things. it will actually make him so happy if you just quietly sit in his office while he writes! maybe after you’ve been dating for a long time he might even have you sit on his lap sometimes.. 😳 since he spends so much time in there obsessively writing new novels to beat ranpo, it got really lonely with just him and karl, so having you there just makes everything better. he also probably doesn’t take very good care of himself when he’s really focused on writing, so he will be eternally thankful if you help make sure he eats, drinks and sleeps enough. he might be the type to say “just one more chapter..” every time you tell him to go to bed, but you can usually persuade him with the promise of cuddles and a kiss goodnight.

- speaking of cuddles when you go to sleep…i am convinced that poe would secretly love being the little spoon!! he’ll of course default to being the big spoon unless you’re somehow taller than him, because that’s kinda just the norm for tall people in most cases. he might even be hesitant at first if you ask him to swap places with you, because he’s likely never done that before, but when you hold him for the first time..it immediately becomes his new favorite thing. it makes him feel so safe and secure and loved, please hold this man!!

- you play with poe’s hair all the time, it’s something you both enjoy because damn he has a lot of hair and it’s really fluffy. you push his bangs back because you want to actually see his eyes for once!! it makes him so flustered because he lowkey feels exposed without his bangs, but if you tell him his eyes are pretty he’ll be like “omg really?? 🥺” and forget all about his embarrassment. it works every single time. when poe is stressed, he often just lays his head in your lap and lets you run your fingers through his hair, it’s very grounding and calming to him. he gets embarrassed if you catch him off guard and just randomly start petting his hair, he tells you to go pet karl instead 💀

- poe is 100% the type of guy to kiss your knuckles or your forehead all the time. he’ll kiss you on the lips too, but it can be kind of overwhelming, so he doesn’t initiate those kisses as often. i think he would like being kissed on the cheek by you a lot, something simple and sweet to brighten his mood. despite being your partner, he still gets nervous to ask you for kisses when he wants them, but he’s honestly pretty unintentionally obvious about it so you can usually tell lol.

- poe gets so embarrassed if you ever read his novels, he knows that you appreciate his writing, but your opinion is so important to him that he gets anxious about it. he usually doesn’t let you read books that he’s written to challenge ranpo until after he’s already shown them to the detective. but you always read them when he gets back home and he’s all mopey after ranpo has successfully solved another one of his mysteries. although he remains determined to continue trying, it’s always a major blow to his self esteem when he loses to ranpo again. so you read the books for yourself so that you can praise him about every specific detail and make him feel better about himself and his work. you may not be his rival or the greatest detective in the world, but you are poe’s partner, so your words are still very meaningful to him.

- poe would definitely call you lots of pet names if you’re comfortable with it. he calls you things like ‘my dearest’ and ‘my beloved’, but he’ll also call you things like ‘darling’ and ‘love’. if you have a nickname, he’ll typically use that in place of your full name because it feels more intimate to him. if you do the same to him, he’ll be so happy! he’s down with being called basically any term of endearment as long as it comes from you, but some may make him more flustered than others. if you shorten his name and call him ‘ed’ it makes him feel so much closer to you.

- poe talks about you all the freaking time! he’s not above straight up bragging about how great his partner is, he constantly feels the need to tell everyone how great you are. hopefully ranpo likes you a lot because my guy has to listen to poe gushing about you constantly lol. if poe ever finds out that you’ve told your friends good things about him, it will warm his heart and make him feel so appreciated. he’s basically never prepared for you to match his extreme passion in your relationship, it shocks him every single time and he can’t believe he actually met someone who loves him as strongly as he loves them.

(a/n: thanks for reading my first fic on this account! i hope you guys like my theme lol, i just wanna be known as the tokage guy who writes bsd fics)

#edgar allan poe bsd #edgar allan poe x reader #poe bsd #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd poe x reader #poe x reader

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ujinu · 3 months

Text

"you called?"

- hanging out

Warnings: none

Requested by: no one

Atsushi Nakajima

• Turns out you are an spy for the agency! (NOT SPYING ON THE ADA BUTS SPIES ON DIFF PEOPLE FOR THE ADA)

• You two mostly hang out during his lunch breaks

• You both enjoy going on nice little walks, mostly in awkward silence or him rambling before apologizing.

• If headcannon that him and Kyouka like cooking and baking together so he sometimes invites you over since Kyouka enjoys your presence

• Kyouka is a wingwoman so she usually puts you two in more romantic positions on purpose but claims it's an accident. But I mean, you two believe her because she's still a child, why would she do that...?

• If only you two knew.

Dazai Osamu

• Since you two were in the Port Mafia, and were sometimes really busy, the only time you'd see him was after work.

• Sometimes he'd call you and ask to come to a really random location outside of Yokohoma, and learned that it was his home in a shipping container that stank really bad (cannon.)

• From there he'd insist you'd eat some canned foods with him but you refused and got him back into the city where you went out and bought him some actual dinner than went to about 52,346 yen. ($325 American dollars)

Chuuya Nakahara

• You got to know eachother through Kouyou when she'd invite you two over for tea and talk.

• You'd also hangout durring joint-missions with yours and his division since you two worked well together.

• He and Dazai were always together so there were you as well. (The reason will be told soon lmao)

• After work, he'd usually just invite you to go drink with him even if you two weren't legal yet to drink.

• Sometimes he'd let you stay over if you got too drunk.

• Sometimes you'd drunk hook-up but never went further and just acted like it didn't happen and told no one.

Akutugawa Ryuunoske

• Something produced into a friendship through Gin.

• You and Gin were close friends so Ryuunoske was also always around when you and her would go out.

• Other than that he thought you made good fig tea so he'd just appear at your house in the middle of the night and demand for you to make tea.

• If you didn't, he'd stay on your couch till you did, even if he had meetings or missions, he'd just want your tea.

• When you did make the tea, he'd just listen to you silently as you ramble of how he shouldn't just pop up in the middle of the night with no invite or anything else you'd talk about.

• Btw this happens still

Ranpo Edogawa

• He'd pop up randomly sort of like Akutugawa asking you for more of your muffins.

• You two would usually just eat sweets together while he talks about how great of a detective he is and about his recent cases

• You two would also work together in Poe's books sometimes as Ranpo called it "a better challenge."

• He'd also start refusing going alone into the books without you there

• Even once he'd wait a month while you were overseas in America (🦅🇺🇸🍻) to come back and do the book with him.

Kunikida Doppo

• In high-school years, you'd two would hangout when he got detention in his delinquent phase and you'd watch over since you were in student council.

• You also tutored him so you'd stay over sometimes at his house or he'd stay over for dinner at yours.

• He also would sometimes convince you to go to some parties but you'd always watch over him and not drink

• Now, when he's working at the agency, he's completely different.

• You two would eat together during your breaks

• Or while out on missions with Dazai tagging along for the "fun of it."

Edgar Allen Poe

• this boy......

• He'd invite you over sometimes to look over his book even though it was litterally perfect with no mistakes

• like he didn't even need you there he could just publish it right then and there with just one chapter with how good it was.

• I feel like you'd sometimes fall asleep on his couch in his office for some reason and Karl would just sit with you

• Other than that, you two would go out and read together before getting some coffee (or tea if that's your cup)

Fukuzawa Yukichi

• Him, Fukichi, and you when you were younger would go out in the parks and sort of just be kids

• Sometimes you three would just duel, you still in your prestigious school uniform, while beating them up 💀

• When you both got older and crusty, you'd drink tea together

• Since you own a bakey, (reference to *1*) you'd teach him how to bake or he'd just help you while making your sale for tommorow.

• He'd also just take you out on walks, sometimes going back to old spots you'd go to when you were younger

Sigma

• Since it's said that Sigma likes cooking/baking, yall would do that together

• You two would also just watch Nikolai and Fyodor be gay together and talk shit about them two together

• I feel like he'd enjoy playing card games with eachother.

• For some reason I think he hates uno because of how stressed he gets over it and games are supposed to be his stress reliever

• Other than that, if you want to help with his paperwork just do that and talk with him. He thinks your voice is calming.

Nikolai Gogol

• Randomly in the middle of your shift he'd pop up yelling: "(NAME) ITS QUIZ TIME!!!"

• For some reason when your around him you feel as if your high.

• When your resting in your room in the Casino you wake from him screaming on the top of his lungs because he thought you were dead.

• Somehow he'd get in without a key.

• He'd than get really excited and forcefully put you to where he was piggy-back-riding on top of him and he'd run around the casino to annoy Sigma.

• You learned after a few times that no matter how loud you yelled at him or tried to get off that it would motivate him even more

• What you didn't know, is that he was in your walls. Litterally.

• He learned all about you without speaking to you and asked Fedya to get you into their "business."

Fyodor Dostevesky

• Your brother told you that he was a God or whatever and you didn't know what to do so you sort of just followed anything Fyodor said.

• You didn't believe he was a God but you were just bored lol

• He didn't know this though and liked you being around him so he kinda just kept you in his office saying that he'd talk to you about plans later.

• Then he'd keep you there and when it was time for him to leave his lil spot he'd tell you to come back tomorrow and the cycle would repeat

• From these times you two would sort of just talk about life and what you liked, him just going off on about his godly stuff while you just listened in silence.

Tetchou Suericho

• Fukichi would kinda just keep you around the base because you kept Tureko occupied and out of trouble. Don't worry, he paid you.

• You'd see Tetchou quite often due to this and would sometimes cook with him, adapting to his strange food habits

• During off times, he'd ask for you to come over and cook for him because your food with the way he usually eat was a lot better than other people's cooking to him. (Somehow)

• You sort of just stayed there at his house during off time and then during work times, you'd make food with Tureko and change it to the way Tetchou likes it.

Juono Saigiku

• You and him would do torture to criminals together, learning different methods from eachother.

• After, you two would usually go to a coffee shop together (or tea if that's your cup)

• You two sort of just sat in silence until making conversations about random things; him usually complaining about Tetchou and his food.

• Other than that, you two would work on missions sometimes.

lmao im popping these things out rn i might do another

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flightlessangelwings · 6 months

Text

Ktober 2023 Day 28- Blowjob

Poe Dameron x gn!reader

Word count- 1.3k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), fwb to lovers, mutual pining, oral (m receiving), semi public, reader works with Poe in the resistance, fluff, no use of y/n

Notes- I actually changed the ideas on this fic a few times before this scenario popped into my head and I loved it! I will always love Poe with all my heart! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

The mission was simple: get into the party, observe and gather information on the First Order officers, and report back. You and Poe completed the first two steps with ease; the two of you worked together seamlessly for a long time now. But, once the important work was done, you let your eyes wander, and you couldn’t tear your gaze off of Poe. He looked so effortlessly handsome all dressed up like this, almost like he was nobility. That was his cover after all, and it came as no surprise to you that everyone bought the lie without question.

Every time Poe looked at you, though, you forced yourself to look away. You didn’t want to be too obvious out in a crowd, especially when the two of you were undercover. Yet, you couldn’t help the way you looked at Poe, and of course you noticed you weren’t the only one with a lingering gaze on his figure.

Poe noticed, of course. Nothing got past him. And the truth was he couldn’t tear himself away from you either. You had become good friends, best friends. And after many missions together, the two of you came to an arrangement: you would hook up for release, but it never went more than physical.

It quickly became more for both of you, though you each kept your true feelings hidden from the other.

Tonight, however, Poe wanted to change that. “See something you like, sweetheart?” he leaned in and asked you with a mischievous smirk on his face.

Covering up the way you were blatantly staring at him, you grinned back, “Maybe.”

He rested a hand on your waist as he leaned in closer, “How about you and I get out of here then,” Poe’s tone dropped and sent a shiver down your spine.

The facade broke and you looked at him with an adoring expression. Poe’s eyes bore into your soul as he looked at you with a smile on his face and a softness in his features. Through the banter, you saw the genuineness in him, and it made your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t stand it any longer, you needed him badly. “Come on,” your own tone dropped as you slipped your hand in his.

“Right behind you,” Poe’s smile widened as he let you lead him away from the party and down a darkened alleyway.

You knew the layout of the area by heart in case of the need for an escape. But this was not an escape, it was a rush of desperation. You couldn’t wait until you got back to the ship, you were too needy for Poe to wait any longer. So, you ducked both of you into an abandoned room in the alleyway.

The moment the door was shut, you lept at Poe and crashed your lips together in a desperate and heated kiss. He moaned into you, surprised by your sudden action, but Poe wouldn’t dream of pushing you away. Instead, he pulled you closer so that your chests were smashed together as he deepened the kiss.

Breaking away with a gasp, Poe looked at you with wide eyes, “I like you like this,” he grinned.

You mirrored the mischievous smirk he gave you earlier as you pushed him back against the wall, “In that case,” you started, feeling bold, “I’ll admit I couldn’t keep my eyes off you tonight,” you purred as you slowly dropped to your knees, never breaking eye contact with Poe.

“Sweetheart…” Poe suddenly realized you had the same plan as he did tonight, you just beat him to the punch.

He murmured your name and caressed your head as you unzipped his pants. You looked so beautiful on your knees for him like that, and the rush of emotions went right to his cock. It jumped free from his pants and you eyed it hungrily, licking your lips as you wrapped a hand around Poe’s length and pumped it a few times.

Poe groaned your name again as you leaned forward and kissed the tip. He helped onto your head with one hand while his other landed on your shoulder. His head leaned back against the wall and a shiver ran up his spine when you finally wrapped your lips around his cock, taking him into your mouth in one movement.

“Fuck!” Poe cried out as the warmth of your mouth engulfed him.

You hummed around his length as you ran your tongue along the bottom, savoring the way Poe shivered at the action. You smirked around him as you bobbed your head up and down, slowing you initially rushed movements. Poe’s moans filled the tiny room as you worked him with your mouth.

Poe bit his lip to try and stifle his moans, but you were just too good. Part of him worried you didn’t get far enough from the party and you might get caught, but when you sucked hard, every other thought vanished from his mind. All Poe could think about was how wonderful you were on your knees with his cock in your mouth, and how good you made him feel.

As much as you wanted to keep your eyes on Poe and watch his every expression, you couldn’t help but flutter then shut. You savored the taste of his length on your tongue as you ran it up and down. You savored every little moan and whimper Poe let out when you brushed over a particularly sensitive spot. You savored the way he tightened his grip on you. You savored every little detail about this moment.

When Poe tugged on you a little harder, you knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You grinned around him as you worked him faster, sucking harder, taking him deeper down your throat. You pulled back enough so just the tip was still in your mouth and you swirled your tongue around the head a few times before you took him fully in your mouth again.

“Oh fuck… Sweetheart,” Poe cried out as his breaths became heavier, “Shit!”

You speed up the way you bobbed your head and sucked as hard as you could, determined to throw Poe over the edge. And within moments, you got what you wanted as he came hard with your name on his tongue. Filling your mouth, you gagged for a moment before you swallowed around him. Not wanting to miss a single drop, you wrapped your lips tighter around his cock and swallowed several times. Tears filled your eyes as you felt full, but you kept going.

Breaking away with a loud gasp, you let a little bit of Poe’s release dribble down the corner of your mouth as you waited for him to open his eyes. After a few heavy breaths, he did just that, and you took that moment to lick your lips and gather that last bit, putting on a show for him.

“Fuck,” Poe breathed.

Both of you burst into a fit of giggle, and neither of you knew exactly why. Perhaps it was the overwhelming emotions that overtook both of you in the heat of the moment. Perhaps it was because both of you secretly felt more for the other, and you each realized it at the same time without the words needed.

Poe dropped down to his knees and joined you on the floor. He cupped your face with both hands and kissed you deeply, taking your breath away and tasting himself on your tongue. You moaned into him as you surrendered yourself, fresh tears filling your eyes from the fresh wave of emotions.

When he broke away, Poe looked at you with sincere adoration in his eyes, “Let me repay the favor,” he kissed you again, “Again,” he kissed you, “And again,” another kiss, “And again…”

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