#platform or anything but i feel like even the ability to influence someone in a small way is like. RESPONSIBILITY. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marengogo · 3 months

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It is a very very very basic and simple thing, you're a worldwide celebrity, you got the INFLUENCE, you saw someone with with your name (shipper name to be exact but okay..)and want to post a video, you click on that account to check if the said acct is someone who's problematic for example a Zionist, god forbid a r*pist or anything else and then you post it on your story. As simple as that. In taehyung's case he wouldn't even have to scroll down through the page to see it's problematic cause the initial posts are enough. The work would have been done in 3sec max.

He was irresponsible and holding him accountable for that is not accusing him of doing some crime. They're human and can make mistakes and if we accept that they're capable of making mistakes idt it's making anyone bad. There's no need of big explanation for this.

He said the "n" word on his live but he didn't do anything wrong, he wore a durag on his live but yeah he didn't know about it, he was irresponsible for making a mistake which gave antis bigger platform to hate on his member but yes he's he's got no time for it. y'alls ability to keep defending every single thing the boys do is something else. The only thing people said is he should have been more careful but nahhh we're hating him just for saying this, we're making big deal out of nothing, we're his antis for saying that damn. I would have said the exact same words as "He should have been more careful with these things" if my bias was in place of taehyung.

QUICK NOTICE: I am still VERY MUCH in my not announced Not-Really-Answering-Asks era, (Colosseum is closed and all that stuff you know…) THAT BEING SAID, some of the asks I have been receiving [due to yesterday’s “ARMY debacle”] happen to serve themselves as perfect scenarios for me to point out some aspects of me that I really would want to make VERY CLEAR & UNDERSTOOD.

Hi Anon,

So, you believe all of this to be a very very very basic and simple thing, right?If that is the case why are you here? I obviously don’t think the same way you do, but I’m not even asking you to. Own up to what you believe and roll it, why justifying yourself? you are not on trial. The only thing people said is he should have been more careful but nahhh we're hating him just for saying this, we're making big deal out of nothing, we're his antis for saying that damn. Do you feel like you are making a big deal? Are you an anti? If the answer to both questions is no, then why you stressing bro?

You see, I haven’t formed the habit of just considering everything in a very very very basic and simple way I clearly was absent that day particularly when I see underlying problems. So then, if I see a problem, I try to get to the root of it and see what can be done. Reason why when Tae said the n-word, I addressed the issue accordingly:

By the way, I also emailed BigHit about it

And let me tell you right away, I ain’t finna weight a singer mouthing the n-word while singing, in the same way I would weight a singer that came to me, called me the n-word and told me to die. Sorry, I’m not wired like that and let me make this abundantly clear for future Anons:

I will ALWAYS consider motive, circumstance, chance and any other factor surrounding an incident/accident upon casting ANY KIND of judgement, be it the most complicated case in history or the “simplest” hiccup ever. ALWAYS, because I strive to always treat people the same way I would want to be treated. I refuse to live in a white and black world, that's the whole point of this blog. BUT I also match energy, so be warned 😗✌🏾.

So actually you can really miss me with the whole He was irresponsible and holding him accountable for that is not accusing him of doing some crime like it would be so great if people knew how to take a step back and properly assess situations. If you went to a court of law wanting to sue Tae for “reposting a picture of himself from a random IG post” how do you think that will hold up in court?

I mean, besides the fact that just scrolling down someone’s page will not always tell you exactly who they are at a first glance, I mean I know I don’t have 60 million followers but when I get some gifs or pics from the internet, to use on whatsapp, I never check the source, I probably should uh? Seems like everyone does … sorry I’m late to the party! how is Tae reposting a story which, once again, has a picture of himself, the same as endorsing what the person is doing on their page?

Did Tae ask people to follow said account?

Did Tae compliment the account holder, or its content?

Did Tae ask said account to be a shipper account?

The fact that ARMY felt obliged to follow said account is on ARMY and ARMY SOLELY.

Like, I dunno, if you go to a page and you see that its content is questionable, are you not gonna flag it? But that's just me.

It is not Taehyung's responsibility to make sure that people have and use common sense. The fact that the Tannies are now having to be responsible for rectifying some ARMY’s failed education which should have been provided to them by at least parents/guardians and/or teachers is very mind boggling to me. Because, on this occasion, what exactly are you holding Tae accountable for? Sure, he has influence but he is not Charles Manson FFS. The whole “he could have liked a Zionist page, r***ist, etc” was a complete after-thought brought about as a way to talk back to the fact that the actual issue that caused this whole debacle is SHIPPING, but we ain’t ready to tackle that just yet. Cause where was this energy when JK actually started following all those random ass accounts on TikTok? Naah, you really can miss me with that.

Actually, I have a wish for this fandom. My wish is for this fandom to be able to have balanced responses to issues, without creating issues upon issues upon issues … One day this fandom will learn to also use words in an unnecessarily provocative way, which hey, I’m cool, I can be your punching bag all day, I don’t assimilate so whatever, but that bird app … boooiii, people get triggered AF! … for example where you wrote y'alls ability to keep defending every single thing the boys do is something else why you grouping me there bro? Something like “some of y'alls ability to keep defending every single thing the boys do is something” little things like that help fostering amicable conversations, because you are not an anti so no need to retaliate if you don’t relate. Right?

Anyways, all that to say that I disagree, but we ain’t gotta agree so, all cool. If you feel that what you doing is right, then you keep doing you, ayte? Thanks for stopping by!

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

PS - sorry for the lack of gifs, I’m feeling a bit under the weather and it takes me forever to make my own gifs and I am trying to keep a rectangular gif aesthetic, most of all gifs in the internet are a bit squary I don’t think that is a word but whateve’s.

#Finding balance #We don gotta agree y'all

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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I disagree with your previous statement. A “influencer” is there to not only entertain but to provide influence, its in the title. You dont just get 100k+ people following you for nothing.

I believe a influencer or person who chooses to be a public figure, giving their two cents on a war that is actively happening in another country, or speaking of a natural disaster in another country is not comparable to a 50year old health right currently happening in one’s own country because this is a human right that we have the power to truly change unlike a foreign war. Anyone with a uterus or someone who is a partner to someone with a uterus and is pro choice should be talking about it. This isn’t about “you can google it yourself”, its about getting the word out to your 100k+ followers that if we do this we can be of great influence to our nation. Cant go out to protest?, protest via social media, here are links, here are pressures you can place on your state representative, here are ways to protect yourself from getting arrested and go undetected, here are ways YOU can contribute (sale your art). Here share this, donate to my stream which i will then donate to a prochoice health clinic. Simply saying “don’t expect it from them” or just “unfollow” isn’t the way, then why on earth do they have a massive platform (having that many followers just because is not normal) and are allowed to make an income off it if you are just going to stay quiet on an issue that can affect 90% of your audience perhaps not today but in a few years. If we tell these influencers “hey you have a big platform, can you talk about this and get the word out”, i see nothing wrong with that and if they dont then to me personally it means they dont give a fuck and or are pro-life.

Blm, asian hate, understandably some wont get involved because they don’t belong to that specific race, and sometimes even as an ally you may come off in a negative way while actively trying to understand the hurt from this specific group of people while advocating for them. However, this right here is talking about not only a women’s health issue but one of our biggest rights in this country, 50yrs of it being taken away that can lead to other things being taken away which should be a huge deal to everyone. Personally it feels like a slap in the face to ignore it and talk about something so baseless and materialistic and for the only options to be unfollow or look it up yourself.

i mean, they get called that, but i don't think it literally means they must influence those that follow them. i think it's more the other way around: that because they have a following, they have the ability to influence those that following them, whether or not that was something they wanted in the first place.

but no one signs up to be an influencer. it mostly just happens. they don't sign up to gain 100s and 1000s of ppl to follow them to tell them about what's going on in the world or in their country. there are some political and news commentators. but snc are not those. none of the ppl they are friends with are those. which is why i don't expect them to say anything. i would hope they would want to, but i also understand why they may not (whether that's bc maybe they have dealt with someone who has had an abortion and don't want to speak on it, maybe they don't know enough to say anything, maybe they don't know what to say, ect)

personally to me, i don't expect ppl to use their platforms. while i would love for some to at least speak out, as long as it doesn't seem like they side with the oppressors, than that's probably the best we're gonna get in some instances. and i've learned to accept that bc it's not worth the strength it takes to get angry at these ppl bc they aren't the problem. there is a bigger picture to focus on.

most influencers are entertainers. they are here to entertain us with their content. and to say they HAVE to educate their audience is not something i can agree with. it's not their job to tell their audience what's happening in the world. they are not new sources, they don't know everything that is going on, they don't have to be fact checked to say something off the walls or stupid. it is up to us individually to educate ourselves.

they got their following from the content they make, not the political stances they might have. i don't think remaining silent means they are pro-choice either. again, i think there is a bigger picture that needs to be looked at, and it doesn't include calling out influencers who make tiktoks lip-syncing and shaking ass. they aren't the problem. it's the old fucking white men in power that are the problem, and the overzealous religious crowd that just sees anyone that can have a child as a walking womb. those are the ppl that need to be targeted and yelled at. those are the ppl that need to be silenced and taken down a peg.

blm and stop asian hate is in the same ballpark as roe being overturned. it's intersectionality at it's finest. while some might not have felt comfortable speaking up or knowing what to say when all of that was happening online, it all lines up in the end. i agree, this effects everyone, way more than most realize. another anon, that i haven't answered yet, said that snc probably haven't said anything bc of their privilege, and i think that's 100% right. i don't think they realize how deep this runs. and while i would love for them to say something or to wake and see what's happening, again, i'm not gonna hold my breath. they aren't the ones that caused this to happen, they aren't gonna be where my anger goes towards.

if you want to be angry at influencers that don't use their platform to talk about this, that's fine. you have every right to. and you can go on and call them out for it too. i'm just not gonna be one of them. it's not a materialistic or baseless argument, but the fact of the matter is, you can't change who doesn't speak up. all you can do is speak as loud as you can, and hope someone hears that can ACTUALLY change things, like politicians or those that apparently still need to be persuaded.

#ask #personal

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chiefcupcakeloveforblogs · 2 years

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Your home needs to tell the story of who you are and where you are going to.

All the experiences and circumstances that I have been through has shaped my positionality, as well as well as the way I take one's positionality into account when approaching clients in any type of platform. “Every child deserves a champion, an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.” (Rita Pierson), this quote makes me describe my self as a reflection of my where I come from, “home”.

the picture below shows different factors that influence the child’s wellbeing.

Growing up at home, I had both parents and five siblings. My mother used to take use to Sunday school every Sunday morning where we were taught about different bible verses and how to obey God in every mini second of your life. The thing that they were always emphasizing was love and respect to everyone that you see, regardless of the age, gender, race, status, and sexuality because everyone is Gods creation. This was rooted in our minds, and it has created harmony at home as we always show each other love and respect. Knowing the good result of love and respect from home made me to always approach people with love and respect in the community. Greeting people in a respectful manner and using respect gestures draws their attention to me which has helped me a lot during health promotion at Mariannridge and at Kenville clinic. Showing people that you care for them portrays love to them which promotes them to be compliant with what you prescribe for them, and it makes them to be more eager to come for the appointment dates.

the picture below shows the goodness of harmony that i grew up expiriencing at home, where each person understood the term of love and respect

As a therapist who was born after apartheid ended in South Africa, I have firsthand knowledge of how the system was specifically designed to oppress black people. In my experience as a rural black woman from a low-income and under-resourced society (as a legacy of apartheid in South Africa), where the effects of colonialism and apartheid are still felt, where few individuals, even middle-class professionals like teachers, nurses, and city employees, are not familiar with occupational therapy. They treat everyone as a doctor, or a nurse and they do not understand anything else besides getting injection, syrup, and pills from the hospital or from the clinic. This brings up a huge gap between me and my clients in the community because before getting to assess and treat I must always advocate for my profession and give my clients insight on what occupational therapy is about ( Christalle, 2019). Since occupational therapy is a broad profession, I always explain the portion that matches the client that I am with at that specific time, which is not fair enough because it is sometimes hard to sport mental issues by looking at a person’s appearance unlike physical problems. All in all I can say that all health care providers in a community level need to be aware of how our troubled past and newfound democracy affect the health of the community members. As a result, non-standard understandings of professional practice have become necessary (Duncan, 2004).

the image above shows a huge gap between the community and therapy, and how occupational therapist work so hard to intergrate the two.

Most of families in my community are rooted in the Zulu culture and use traditional medicine as their first option when someone is sick and consider going to the hospital or clinic as a second option when they feel like the traditional medicine is not working. This to me brings the call to consider cultural formulation as part of my assessment because cultural factors do impact the client’s life and it assist with revealing what the client consider as right or wrong (rules or norms) which will lead to the client revealing what he/she need. Culturally appropriate care has the ability to increase the level of trust and communication between the therapist and the patients, which would encourage clients to be fully compliant with therapy and I have been able to make this possible through showing love and respect to my clients.

the picture below shows a picture of traditional medicine that most people in my culture prefers to use compared to werstern medicine

In a place that I grew up from, most people are black Africans like the Kenville population where black women have historically been excluded in most things but labelled as careers for kids or house keepers, and men being placed on a top position as a head to everything with a role to rule and judge. As a young black woman, who has experienced the patriarchal culture it enables me to reach out to people in rural areas where OT has been uninformed, more especially to females who are living according to the societal norms that deprive their opportunity to explore things and live their lives to the fullest. A feminist perspective is necessary to shed light on the gender conflicts and silenced voices that arose because of the emergence of evidence of a dominating patriarchal influence in the growth of what was formerly a female-only profession (Joubert, 2006).

the picture below shows the burden that is layed on womens which limits them to expore other opportunities in life

The apartheid and colonial policies in South Africa have had an impact on occupational therapy, which has been shaped by these policies to the exclusion of African ideas of healing and treatment in favor of a scientific basis that is skewed toward the West (Joubert, 2010). This has given me a sense of agency, since the OT programs in South Africa are based mostly on western thought, but the communities I want to aid are rooted in African tradition like the Kenville community. This is a barrier but decolonizing occupational therapy may pave the way for more efficient service delivery in local areas. However, the apartheid government did not plan for occupational therapy to help black workers who were crippled as a result of their jobs in hazardous industries including mining, construction, and agriculture. All these pushes me to find solutions that will help us bridge the gap and reverse the injustices of apartheid. My approach to OT will have more of an African context, drawing on concepts like ubuntu's emphasis on helping others regardless of their gender, color, culture, or language. This would guarantee that all members of the community, unlike under apartheid, have equal access to treatment.

the picture below shows our late former president who brought hope in our South Africans. Hope of democracy and freedom that promotes oneness in our land.

Conclusion

My positionality will serve me well in working with different rural communities like Marriannridge and Kenville, since my knowledge of epistemology has taught me that the post-apartheid revival of rural communities' desire for the African values of ubuntu, togetherness, and sharing is a crucial aspect of occupational therapy practice. To maintain healthy societies, occupational therapy programs must focus on uplifting those who have historically been excluded from society's benefits. As a young therapist, I find it challenging to be able to help bridge this division via information and reform. However, before I can bring about such a shift, I need to fully comprehend the extent to which colonial rule and apartheid's lasting effects have harmed local populations. Working in a male-dominated world as a young black woman from a patriarchal culture requires one to be self-reliant and continually resilient to the surroundings and the only way that works for me is to always portray love and respect and always bringing up the voice of ubuntu.

Finally, in my opinion as an OT student, there is a tremendous wealth difference in terms of access to OT programs. However, this chasm may be bridged by expanding access to community-based rehabilitation programs for low-income neighborhoods in the new South Africa.

References

Christalle, E., Zill, J. M., Frerichs, W., Härter, M., Nestoriuc, Y., Dirmaier, J., & Scholl, I. (2019). Assessment of patient information needs: A systematic review of measures. PloS one, 14(1), e0209165. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0209165

Drolet, M., Turcotte, P., (2021). Occupational therapy, colonialism, and the climate crisis: Is civil disobedience ethically acceptable?. Occupational Therapy Now. 24. 25-27.

Joubert, R.W., 2006. Indigenous fruits from exotic roots?: revisiting the South African occupational therapy curriculum (Doctoral dissertation, Doctoral dissertation, University of KwaZulu-Natal, Durban. Retrieved from http://researchspace. ukzn. ac. za/handle/10413/862).

Joubert, R.W.E., (2010). Exploring the History of Occupational Therapy’s Development in South Africa to reveal the Flaws of our Knowledge Base. South African Journal of Occupational Therapy. Volume 41(3). 21-26.

Lorenzo, T., Duncan, M., Buchanan, H. and Alsop, A. eds., 2006. Practice and service learning in occupational therapy: Enhancing potential in context. John Wiley & Sons.

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hopeymchope · 2 years

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On Legacy

This is VERY off-topic for what I usually post about, but damn, I feel bad for Avalanche Studio workers.

They put a lot of love and tons of effort into Hogwart’s Legacy. They’ve been working on it since 2017! And then, come 2019, they were suddenly in the midst of a clusterfuck because JK Rowling had fully outed herself as a proud-n-despicable TERF.

But this is what their new owners, Warner Bros (who purchased Avalanche when Disney was going to otherwise just shut them down back in 2016-2017) have told Avalanche they have to do, and they were already two years into development by the point when Rowling’s shitty beliefs became common and public knowledge. Since then, Avalanche has distanced themselves from Rowling by repeatedly pointing out that she has no involvement in their creation, they’ve denounced her statements, and they even implemented the ability to play as a trans character in Hogwart’s Legacy (which is really a delightful “fuck you” directly to Rowling, I have to say). But of course, none of this can really remove the fact that some percentage of the game’s sales - however small that may be - will go to JK Rowling. And she’s using her money and influence to disenfranchise and abuse entire demographics of innocent people. Do you really want to fund that shit?

...............but on the other hand, of course, there’s the fact that if this game doesn’t perform up to expectations, Avalanche is very likely in danger of being shut down by WB Interactive. This is their first work for WB, and WB has been attempting to divest themselves of owning so many studios over the past couple of years so they can focus on the heavy hitters like NetherRealm and Rocksteady. Besides, it’s not like Avalanche’s employees can just find another gaming company to work at in friggin’ Salt Lake City. So we’re talking about displacing multiple families into uncertainty. Do they deserve to all be punished for one person’s awfulness?

Now we’ve got people singling out various team members from Avalanche and scouring their social media accounts and political histories to see if they’ve ever done anything that would align them with Rowling’s brand of evil, outing any findings they come across. And I mean... on some level, I find that really fucked up and gross. Just because they’ve been assigned to this property and subsequently dropped into the thick of controversy doesn’t mean they deserve to be investigated on an individual level and borderline-doxxed. And on another level, I also find it completely understandable and deserved, because if you’re someone who - for example - backed Donald Trump, you probably deserve whatever you get for supporting someone whose entire platform was steeped in racism, sexism, and facism. So... I guess I don’t know how to feel about the whole scouring-credited-studio-members-for-shittiness trend.

It’s just all such a clusterfuck.

#hogwart's legacy #avalanche studio #controversy #video games

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interact-if · 3 years

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Day 2 of Pride Month interviews! You know them, you love them…. give it up for Ames!

Ames, author of Attollo and Metamorphosis

Pride Month Featured Authors

“…and it was a singular, terrible thought, which burrowed itself into your mind like an engorged maggot. This was not a man nor a monster. This was a concept, an ideology, a terrible myth, which had personified itself to stand before you now.You were, to put it simply, screwed.”

After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend.

Too bad it’s never so simple.

Demo: Attollo, Metamorphosis (TBA)

Tags: cybernoir, thriller

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

Attollo is a cyber-noir horror set in a walled city off the coast of the Atlantic that’s been a victim of a nuclear disaster. After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend. Too bad it’s never so simple. Attollo is a 17+ game that deals with heavy topics and a lot of moral questioning; from cults to corrupt government, it has no shortage of monsters in the dark—both metaphorical and literal.

Metamorphosis is a crime/horror story based in the world of crime scene cleanup, where there are three simple steps: Get the call, clean the scene, and don’t ask too many questions. These are the rules that you live by under the employment of Noctua’s Crime Scene Services, and you credit them for keeping you alive.

However, after a routine house call brings forth nightmares of memories that are not your own, you find yourself pulled deeper into Noctua—a city of both monster and man—in a bid to find out the truth behind the murder of Deirdre Callow, and better yet, how her memories came to be yours. Your job mandates that you don’t dig too deep—but could this finally be the exception?

Metamorphosis is 18+ and will have explicit content; follow the last moments of a stranger to find out not only who took her life, but how this connects to the underbelly that Noctua works so hard to hide.

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Lmaoo, oh man. I think it really all began last summer when I first found examples of interactive fiction. I don’t even remember how I came across it, it might’ve been that I saw it mentioned in a post or I saw it as a tag on Itch.io, but at some point, last summer I began to investigate it more. I think what really drew me in was the ability for the player to control the narrative; it was like playing an old RPG, but modernized, and the fact that I could see a story unfold that was influenced by my decisions was so fascinating to me. Not to mention that IF allows so much more character depth than regular novels, in my opinion.

I’m 99% sure my first exposure to interactive fiction was through the game Crème de la Crème (a fantastic game, by the way) and I just enjoyed it so much that I went haywire for the genre. Then Temple of the Endless Night came out (another fantastic game that I’m looking forward to!), and that was really the turning point for inspiring me to give it a go. Now, almost a year later, here I am working on my own two games!

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

My bisexuality doesn’t have much of a major influence on the game, but I do think it contributed to the way that I view and write relationships. I figured out my sexuality around high school (I kissed a girl in high school and found out I liked it just as much as when I kissed a boy) and since then I’ve been very involved in the LGBTQ+ community of both my hometown and uni town.

I think this involvement, like being able to hear about other people’s experiences and share my own, has made me feel a lot more comfortable writing some of the characters in the game. Although Attollo and Metamorphosis both don’t focus heavily on relationships (both have murder in them, which I feel is a bit more pressing), I do keep the option for any RO’s to be romanced by anyone, regardless of gender or preference, because that’s simply what I’ve become so attuned to. In terms of side characters relationships as well, I think my involvement and my own experiences have allowed me to write far more diverse relationships than I might have, and I think that this has also allowed a more fulfilling experience for players when reading through.

I also have incorporated some struggles that I’ve faced before because of my identity into the games. For example, I and a few others have faced issues with religion due to who we are, and I incorporate this into both games. Dreamwalker, Pariah, and Sysba from Attollo all have shadows of this experience in their character origins, and Ilali and Ariston from Metamorphosis has a major point involving identity and beliefs. Both games also have undertows of ostracization and division between groups, which is also something I’ve experienced in the past. Being able to grapple these moments and control them via a narrative has been eye opening for both myself and others involved, and I’m hoping it can be a learning experience for the readers as well.

Q4: What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction?

I think, now, the amount of progress in LGBTQ+ fiction is expanding at a wonderful rate. There are so many interactive fictions with options to select sexuality, select gender, select beliefs, etc. However, despite this expansion, there’s still a good deal of backlash against some aspects of LGBTQ+ fiction.

For example, as a bisexual woman who has dated men, I know there are some individuals who may not consider me a part of the LGBTQ+ because of this aspect. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, but it’s a viewpoint that I think should be educated against, and fiction is a fantastic pathway to do this. Another example I can think of is a friend of mine who identifies as asexual but is sex-neutral rather than sex-repulsed. Most people can’t believe her when she says this, and she often faces backlash for this declaration as well. This is another thing that I think that, with exposure through a medium such as fiction, can be worked on.

What I’m trying to say here is that I think LGBTQ+ fiction can be a brilliantly educational platform—if used right. Although it already teaches so much with what it has, I think having that representation of different subgroups of sexuality, of their experiences and beliefs, so people can become aware and knowledgeable of these options, is something I’d like to see more of.

Q5: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Oh man, I struggled to list off inspirations because I know I have some, but as soon as someone asks me who they are my brain just goes ‘brrrrrr’ LMAO.

In terms of the games that I write and the worlds that I build, I think David Lynch and Robert Chambers are probably the two that I somehow incorporate. Attollo and Metamorphosis both have a lot of surrealist horror, which are what these two really specialized in. Shirley Jackson is also another person who inspired me a lot when it came to the writing and creation of Attollo, especially the intrapersonal relationships between the characters.

In terms of life, this is something else I really struggle to answer. I don’t really have celebrity inspirations or anything like that, but I do get inspired by my close friends and sister a lot. Seeing them go through the struggles that they face and absolutely thrive really drives me to push through my own struggles. They’re the strongest, most brilliant group of people that I know, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I can be a part of their lives. Not only that, but we also all collectively encourage each other to push further and to chase our dreams (as cheesy as that is LMAO) and that’s something that I think is another stroke of good fortune. I struck gold when I met them, and they’re some of the biggest inspirations in my life.

Q6: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

For Attollo, I’d say ‘Home is where the heart is.’ For Metamorphosis, to quote John Berendt, ‘Always stick around for one more drink.’

Q7: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

What advice would I give to you all? Oh my, I’m not exactly a wise woman here, but I’ll do my best to give you something lmaooo. I think what I really want you to walk away with, from both my stories and this interview, is that if you’re passionate about something, then share it with the world. Don’t let anyone deter your passion.

I remember listening to this painter once who commented to his friend how he ‘really liked painting’, and his friend’s first response was ‘but are you good at it?’. He then compared this to the scenario of walking; would you say, ‘but are you good at it?’ to someone who said, ‘I really like walking’? No, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, and it doesn’t make sense to say that to anyone who’s doing something out of passion.

To put it simply—if you love something, then don’t let anyone take that passion from you. I began writing these stories because I’m passionate about Attollo and Metamorphosis; I love each character, each bit of lore, and I share it with you because I want you all to enjoy it as well. Am I the best writer? God, no. Does everyone like what I write? Definitely not. But will I let this stop me from writing, from enjoying what I’m doing? Never, and I want you to do the same.

Explore your passions, embrace your passions, and let what makes you happy continue to do so

#if: events #Pride Month 2021 #pride month #queer authors #queer fiction #queer creators #interactive fiction

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devilsskettle · 3 years

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oh man i have a Lot of thoughts about the autopsy of jane doe, both positive and critical For Sure, i'd be SO excited to see your analysis of it! definitely keeping an eye out for that 👀

thanks! i'm working on something article-like to talk about the film and i don't know what i want to do with it yet lol but if i don't post it on here i'll definitely link it. it's mainly a discussion of gender in possession/occult films in the same way that carol clover describes in men, women, and chainsaws - that there are dual plot lines in occult films, usually gendered masculine and feminine respectively, where the "main" feminine plot (the actual possession) is actually a way to explore the "real" masculine plot (the emotional conflict of the "man in crisis" protagonist). typically the man in crisis is too masculine, or "closed" emotionally, where the woman is too "open," which is why she acts as the vehicle for the supernatural occurrence as well as the core emotions of the film. the man has to learn how to become more open (though if he becomes too open, like father karras in the exorcist, he has to die by the end - he has to find a happy medium, where he doesn't actually transgress gender expectations too much. clover calls this state the "new masculine," and we might apply the term "toxic masculinity" to the "closed" emotional state). part of the "opening up" feature of the story is that it allows men to be highly emotionally expressive in situations where they otherwise might not be allowed to, which is cathartic for the assumed primary audience of these films (young men). another feature of the genre is white science vs black magic (once you exhaust the scientific "rational" explanations, you have to accept that something magic is happening). the autopsy of jane doe does this even more than the films she discusses when she published the book in 1992 (the exorcist, poltergeist, christine, etc) because the supernaturally influenced young woman who becomes this kind of vehicle is more of an object than a character. she doesn't have a single line of dialogue or even blink for the entire runtime of the movie. the camerawork often pans to her as if to show her reactions to the events of the movie, which seems kind of pointless because it's the same reaction the whole time (none) but it allows the viewer to project anything they want onto her - from personal suffering to cunning and spite.

compare again to the exorcist: is the story actually about regan mcneil? no. but do we care about her? sure (clover says no, but i think we at least feel for her situation lol). and do we get an idea of what she's like as a person? yes. even though her pain and her body are used narratively as a framework for karras' emotional/religious crisis, we at least see her as a person. both she and her mother are expendable to the "real" plot but they're very active in their roles in the "main" plot - our "jane doe" isn't afforded even that level of agency or identity. so. is that inherently sexist? well, no - if there were other women in the film who were part of the "real" plot, i would say that the presence of women with agency and identity demonstrate enough regard for the personhood of women to make the gender of the subject of the autopsy irrelevant. but there are none. of the three important women in the film, we have 1) an almost corpse, 2) an absent (dead) mother, and 3) a one dimensional girlfriend who is killed off for a man's character development/cathartic expression of emotions. all three are just platforms for the men in crisis of this narrative.

and, to my surprise, much of the reception to the film is to embrace it as a feminist story because the witch is misconstrued as a badass, powerful, Strong Female Character girl boss type for getting revenge on the men who wronged her, with absolutely no consideration given to what the movie actually ends up saying about women. and the director has said that he embraces this interpretation, but never intended it. so like. of course you're going to embrace the interpretation that gives you critical acclaim and the moral high ground. but it's so fucking clear that it was never his intention to say anything about feminism, or women in general, or gender at all. so i find it very frustrating that people read the film that way because it's just. objectively wrong.

there's also things i want to say about this idea that clover talks about in a different chapter of the book when she discusses the country/city divide in a lot of horror (especially rape-revenge films) in which the writer intends the audience to identify with the city characters and be against the country characters (think of, like, house of 1000 corpses - there's pretty explicit socioeconomic regional tension between the evil country residents and the travelers from the city) but first, they have to address the real harm that the City (as a whole) has inflicted upon the Country (usually in the forms of environmental and economic destruction) so in order to justify the antagonization the country people are characterized by, their "retaliation" for these wrongs has to be so extreme and misdirected that we identify with the city people by default (if country men feel victimized by the City and react by attacking a city woman who isn't complicit in the crimes of the City in any of the violent, heinous ways horror movies employ, of course we won't sympathize with them). why am i bringing this up? well, clover says this idea is actually borrowed from the western genre, where native americans are the Villains even as white settlers commit genocide - so they characterize them as extremely savage and violent in order to justify violence against them (in fiction and in real life). the idea is to address the suffering of the Other and delegitimize it through extreme negative characterization (often, with both the people from the country and native americans, through negative stereotyping as well as their actions). so i think that shows how this idea is transferred between different genres and whatever group of people the writers want the viewers to be against, and in this movie it’s happening on the axis of gender instead of race, region, or class. obviously the victims of the salem witch trials suffered extreme injustice and physical violence (especially in the film as victim of the ritual the body clearly underwent) BUT by retaliating for the wrongs done to her, apparently (according to the main characters) at random, she's characterized as monstrous and dangerous and spiteful. her revenge is unjustified because it’s not targeted at the people who actually committed violence against her. they say that the ritual created the very thing it was trying to destroy - i.e. an evil witch. she becomes the thing we're supposed to be afraid of, not someone we’re supposed to sympathize with. she’s othered by this framework, not supported by it, so even if she’s afforded some power through her posthumous magical abilities, we the viewer are not supposed to root for her. if the viewer does sympathize with her, it’s in spite of the writing, not because of it. the main characters who we are intended to identify with feel only shallow sympathy for her, if any - even when they realize they’ve been cutting open a living person, they express shock and revulsion, but not regret. in fact, they go back and scalp her and take out her brain. after realizing that she’s alive! we��re intended to see this as an acceptable retaliation against the witch, not an act of extreme cruelty or at the very least a stupid idea lol.

(also - i hate how much of a buzzword salem is in movies like this lol, nothing about her injuries or the story they “read” on her is even remotely similar to what happened in salem, except for the time period. i know they don’t explicitly say oh yeah, she was definitely from salem, but her injuries really aren’t characteristic of american executions of witches at all so i wish they hadn’t muddied the water by trying to point to an actual historical event. especially since i think the connotation of “witch” and the victims of witch trials has taken on a modern projection of feminism that doesn’t really make sense under any scrutiny. anyway)

not to mention the ending: what was the writer intending the audience to get from the ending? that the cycle of violence continues, and the witch’s revenge will move on and repeat the same violence in the next place, wherever she ends up. we’re supposed to feel bad for whoever her next victims will be. but what about her? i think the movie figures her maybe as triumphant, but she’s going to keep being passed around from morgue to morgue, and she’s going to be vivisected again and again, with no way to communicate her pain or her story. the framework of the story doesn’t allow for this ending to be tragic for her, though - clearly the tragedy lies with the father and son, finally having opened up to one another, unfortunately too late, and dying early, unjust deaths at the hands of this unknowable malignant entity. it doesn’t do justice to her (or the girlfriend, who seems to be nothing but collateral damage in all of this - in the ending sequence, when the police finds the carnage, it only shows them finding the bodies of the men. the girlfriend is as irrelevant to the conclusion as she is to the rest of the plot).

but does this mean the autopsy of jane doe is a “bad” movie? i guess it depends on your perspective. ultimately, it’s one of those questions that i find myself asking when faced with certain kinds of stories that inevitably crop up often in our media: how much can we excuse a story for upholding regressive social norms (even unintentionally) before we have to discount the whole work? i don’t think the autopsy of jane doe warrants complete rejection for being “problematic” but i think the critical acclaim based on the idea that it’s a feminist film should be rejected. i still consider it a very interesting concept with strong acting and a lot of visual appeal, and it’s a very good piece of atmospheric horror. it’s does get a bit boring at certain points, but the core of the film is solid. it’s also not trying to be sexist, arguably it’s not overtly sexist at all, it’s just very very androcentric at the expense of its female characters, and i’m genuinely shocked that anyone would call it feminist. so sure, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, but let’s also be critical about how it’s using women as the stage for men’s emotional conflict

also re: my description of this little project as “a film isn’t feminist just because there’s a woman’s name in the title” - i actually don’t want to skim over the fact that “jane doe” isn’t a real name. of the three women in the film, only one has a real name; the other two are referred to by names given to them by men. i’ll conclude on this note because i want to emphasize the lack of even very basic ways of recognizing individual identity afforded to women in this film. so yeah! the end! thanks for your consideration if you read this far!

#the autopsy of jane doe #men women and chainsaws #horror #also to be clear i'm not saying that the exorcist is somehow more feminist because. it's not. i'm just using it as a frame of reference #you'd think a film from 2016 would escape the ways gender is constructed in one from 1973 but that's not really the case #i actually rewatched the end of the movie to make sure that what i said about the girlfriend's body not being found at the end was accurate #and yeah! it is! the intended audience-identified character shifts to the sheriff who - that's right! - is also a man #the camerawork is: shot of the dead son / shot of the sheriff looking sad / shot of the dead father / shot of the sheriff looking sad /#shot of jane doe / shot of the sheriff looking upset angry and suspicious #which is how we're supposed to feel about the conclusion for each character #the girlfriend is notably absent in this sequence #anyway! this is less about me condemning this movie as sexist and more about looking at how women in occult horror #continue to be relegated to secondary plot lines at best or to set dressing for the primary plot line at worst #and what that says about identification of viewers with certain characters and why writers have written the story that way #i think the reception of the film as Feminist might actually point to a shift in identification - but to still be able to enjoy the movie #while identifying with a female character you need to change the narrative that's actually presented to you #hence the rampant impulse to misinterpret the intention of the filmmakers #we do want it to be feminist! the audience doesn't identify with the 'default' anymore automatically #i think that's actually a pretty positive development at least in viewership - if only filmmakers would catch up lol #oh and i only very briefly touched on this here but the white science vs black magic theme is pretty clearly reflected in this film also

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oh-katsuki · 2 years

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Networking is literally part of presence growth. You're taught how to network if you go into any form of business; be it as the CEO of a company or as the marketing assistant. Networking is literally how you grow your presence even if its just your random Twitter account.

You're networking when you like posts. When you reblog or leave a comment. You're networking when you follow people. Every single social media platform is designed to increase your ability to network and your presence. Their algorithms are literally coded for it.

It just seems weird to me that you're both judging and shaming people for doing what the site literally intends for them to do. Tumblr is a social platform.

hi. maybe i wasn't clear enough in my definition of networking in that post.

i'm in no way against people using this website to grow, so if my post came across that way, my apologies. im also not shaming nor am i judging people for wanting to grow either. just about everyone wants validation for their work, me included. i totally get that.

what i was referring to when i said "networking" was not using tumblr as it's intended, it was referring using people. there's a super clear difference between people who are using the website wanting to grow and make friends and people who go out of their way to speak to me while simultaneously... let's say... sending me hate. the issue is not "wanting or not wanting to grow", it's the lack of genuineness I've experienced in a lot of conversations because of it.

i don't think i'm wrong to say i don't want someone to pretend to be my friend because they think they can get something from me. i'm, personally, not here for that. it doesn't feel good to know that someone has approached you, is talking to you, and agrees with you simply because they want to use you for followers. i really think anyone would agree. it becomes exhausting.

tumblr is a really unique social media platform in the sense that we don't have influencers or really even celebrities who actively use the platform. it's a website designed entirely for artists and creators to get their work out there. so you're right, there is nothing wrong with wanting to grow. there is nothing wrong with networking in the traditional sense to get your work further out there. that's what liking and reblogging is for. shit, there's not even anything wrong with building a community expressly for that purpose (a lot networks and discord servers are for that express purpose! and it's great!).

what's wrong, i think, is using other people based on your personal view of them as a stepping stone without any regard for who they really are. there is absolutely something odd about approaching someone under the guise of being friends while actively using them for growth or to get something out of them.

there's nothing wrong with networking or meeting new people to grow your circle or your reach. we do it all the time when we join a new fandom, unconsciously or not! it becomes wrong when you cross a line into pretending to create a friendship that is founded on something other than friendship itself. it becomes a problem when people become transactional about interactions. it's exhausting and, honestly, makes my blog feel like less of a safe space.

that's my personal opinion on it. i was in no way shaming people for wanting to grow.

#[ 🏩 – chatting ]#discourse #also... regardless of what the formal definition of networking is... using people is a really gross thing to do #especially on tumblr where a lot of people (me) come to chill out and be insane #it makes people not want to be here anymore because it sets so many people up for disappointment #it's just... it's really unpleasant to be used #there's nothing wrong with creating and joining a community to get your work out there but pretending to be someone's friend for that-#purpose?? it's weird to me #i hope this made sense #the TLDR; there is nothing wrong with wanting to grow and creating communities for growth. just don't use people. that's it.

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dailydnp · 3 years

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Daniel Howell on Depression and How to Get Through The Night

Daniel Howell is the YouTube star breaking boundaries about depression, who has now released a book to help people with mental health issues.

Daniel Howell is one of the most popular YouTubers out there, with millions of followers and a refreshing line in self-deprecating humour that has made him stood out from much of the braggadocio on that channel. He is also someone who dared to go beyond the jokes and gaming on his channel to reveal his battles with depression to his young audience a few years ago, producing a huge response from people. Now he has written a book about mental health, called ‘You Will Get Through This Night’. A mix of information, advice and laughs, the book is a welcome addition to the elevation of mental health as a national issue, and it manages to be so in a way that is going to connect brilliantly with young people. We grabbed a word with Daniel over Zoom to find out more about it…

When did you decided to write the book and what was the process like?

It was a very serendipitous journey I never planned. All this talking about myself and mental health, and sharing these quite intimate details about my own life, was never the plan. I started my career trying to be funny, just being a clown on the internet, but as time went on two things happened: one, a sense of responsibility creeping up on me where I realised anyone with a platform has an impact on people, and even if you think you’re just being funny, if you do share yourself, people relate to you and you end up resonating with them on some level.

Also just for me, I have always been so career focused, I’m one of those guys that pushes their well being to the back, and after years of me doing that it just got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. It was not only affecting my ability to be good at my job, and be friends with people and nice to be around, but creatively it was this real hump where I felt like if I don’t sort my life out, and get on top of these problems that I know are lurking behind me, I’m not going to be able to go forwards.

It was that which led me to talk about my experiences with depression in that YouTube video ‘Daniel and Depression’ that I uploaded in 2017, and that was a huge moment for me. Even five years ago, there was such a taboo around mental health. These days people go, ‘ aren’t we all open about mental health now?’ but just five years ago, it was a completely different world. I thought me bringing up a word like depression would destroy my career. ‘Are people not going to want to work with me? Are my friends going to think I’m strange?’

But I was honestly surprised, for the first time in my life, by the reaction I got from humanity. Because my upbringing led me to being very cynical, to be very defensive and to protect my vulnerability. Actually when I shared something that was so raw, people appreciated it. On some level people were like, wow you articulating it made me understand something I didn’t get about myself, or my mum’s been through this and I finally get it, or now I know what my friends are going through.

When you open yourself up, despite the fear, people appreciate it because this is how people think and feel. We’re all vulnerable, we’re all trying to protect ourselves, we’re all putting on this front, focusing on our careers, pushing everything to the background; but then it’s a truth that when you open up about how you really feel, not only is that a weight lifted for you but it lets other people in.

Then I became the mental health guy. I didn’t ask for it, it became my thing.

The book always had the question of what it might be. People always want to write their life stories, but firstly my entire life story is already out there on the internet, it was there in real time. I thought if I’m going to do this, I want to do a mental health book that just gets straight to the point, it’s not going to be too scientific, it’s not going to be too spiritual or flowery, it’s going to give you the information you need, the tools, the tips, the life hacks, the stuff that science has shown will make a difference, as bare as we can, in bullet point form. And then my job is to make it stupid and funny by using myself as a punching bag doing everything wrong in terms of managing your mental health. For me it’s the book I wish I had five, ten years ago.

Was putting it together enjoyable, once you’d given yourself permission to have fun with it?

Yeah writing a book and collating all these life saving tips on mental health, was good for me. The process of writing the book was like reading it. I needed the experience of putting it together so I could learn from it myself.

What I’ve learnt from just being funny is it’s a bit of an excuse to give yourself therapy. You’ve set yourself the task of telling this story, making this point or joke about something, and in the process of trying to find out whatever this point or joke you’re making, there’s a bit of a moment of self reflection in there.

So it’s fun to have an excuse to tell a story and be funny but for me it’s been emotionally cathartic too.

What are the main things you learned or that even changed you?

One thing was the 360 around your lifestyle. The book is structured practically into 3 parts. The first part is what are things you can do right now to change the way you feel, the second is lifestyle, what changes can you make, and then the third part is looking deeper, at more long term things about readjusting your mindset and working out what makes you as a person.

The process of going through the lifestyle for me felt a bit like a roast. Things like the importance of your social life, the importance of your nutrition, the importance of how often you move, and it was very difficult to be aware of what might just be my personality and preference. I’m an introvert, I’m a bit of a nerd, I like to stay inside, I don’t like to party a lot, and I just learned that if you don’t go jogging you’re going to have more anxiety than someone who doesn’t. It was good to have all that shown up.

A nugget that was quite profound is that you can always change the way that you feel. I was always having days where I was really stressed from what I was working on, or a period where I’d be really depressed, and sometime I would wake up and immediately know I’m not having a good mental health day. When I’m not going to be able to perform, I’m not going to be a very helpful friend. I just used to say to myself ‘this day is a write off’. But what I learned from this book is you can change how you feel by doing something. Your activity directly influences how you feel.

It got rid of the excuses because sometimes it was like, ‘I’m having a bad day I simply cannot do that task’ when you probably can. It’s empowering for yourself to say, ‘Actually if I eat something, if I get a change of scenery, if I talk to someone, if I problem solve to question my thoughts and readjust my mindset, you can change how you think and feel on any day.

With mental health so many people ego through their life thinking it’s this weird mysterious fog that they can’t impact on. Sometimes you feel bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. But actually we’re just weird hairless apes, we’re not that complicated, and there are little things we can do to snap ourselves out of it.

How do you think it’ll fit into the current times?

The idea that this book is coming out when our society is opening up again is almost a divine intervention! There is literally no better time to sort your life out. We’ve all gone through so much, this collective trauma, and the dent to our lifestyles and ability to self-care. Not only have we had all the joy ripped away from us, but people haven’t been able to go to the gym, to get support from friends, and this is a new chapter for everybody.

I’m seeing it as: can take this next step and not fall back into bad habits? This is a good time to put a pole in the ground and move forward in a good direction.

What are the key things you’ll be taking forward?

It’s not just the lifestyle stuff, it’s also about mindset changes. I’m a worrier, one of these people that thinks myself into oblivion. It means I’m analytical but I’m not very present, I spend a lot of time in my head prophesising my own doom. One of the things in the book is realising that you are not your thoughts. If you get a negative thought in your head actually that’s just your brain’s suggestion that you should feel stress about this, that and the other but we don’t have to stay fixated on these worries.

I’ve spent the last ten years in therapy, deeply going into myself asking questions about authenticity, confronting my sexuality, but also it’s been about just day-to-day having a better relationship with my own mind. That when I get these emotions that want to spiral into a panic, or make me feel very stressed, just to talk back to myself with the right attitude and say I don’t need to go down this rabbit hole due to this thought. I can just acknowledge it was an idea my brain had to think about and I can choose to do whatever I want with it. I can choose to solve the problem and break it down, I can ask for help I can give myself a reality check, or I can just acknowledge the thought and say ‘No thank you I’m going to do something else with my day.’

Back to the first depression video – are you aware of the difference between you then and now?

It’s profound, I would say me aged 26 was someone who didn’t question anything. You think you have a career priority and if I have any emotional baggage, it’s just not important right now.

Obviously there was the huge issue of my sexuality which had a huge impact on my mental health. My entire life story from childhood to how I was perceived as a public figure, how I operated day to day, and even my acceptance of a thing that I knew was true deep inside me, I had an incredibly toxic view of that at the time. I needed to understand it. I went to therapy and learned a lot about the way I would talk to myself, the way I would beat myself down and tell myself that things are the way they are and there’s nothing I can do about it. I should tolerate certain situations, and that was all wrong, so I’ve become much better at being fair to myself. Accepting my own vulnerability instead of building up a huge wall; letting it down, being honest with myself which is important if you ever want to change anything for the better. Also you get closer to other people when you feel like they can really see you.

How have conceptions of masculinity affected that?

The whole concept of masculinity was huge in my life. I had a very macho dad, he didn’t emote, he didn’t share anything, it was all jokes and all on the outside. I got to 16, 17, that age when you notice adults for the first time and cotton on to it. I could see the pain he was going through but he didn’t want to confront it. I also went to an all-boys school where there’s no vulnerability, you can’t give a small opening for someone to jab a compass in. That was the culture that shaped me. That continued into my late twenties when I had the moment when I realised being honest with yourself about something going wrong is bravery. It’s not weak to admit vulnerability if it’s going to help you grow. It’s not a sign of weakness to go to the uncomfortable place. Life is a series of uncomfortable obstacles that you put off, but every single time you go over them, you look back and go, ‘oh why did I waste so much time not doing that sooner?’

Is masculinity shifting do you think?

Definitely, roles in society have been so Neanderthal. If you have a personality with a stiff upper lip and it works, good for you, but someone else may feel pressured to hold things in and eventually they’re going to crack. It’s ok to ask for help and to let go of that, that’s what we’re learning in society. Conversations in mental health are so much more normal. There’s a long way to go in terms of judgment and misunderstandings, but I hope the book will spell it out for a lot of people. The book has been fact checked by a psychological professional, Dr Heather Bolton and all of the advice in the book is from evidence based practices that have been shown to have a good effect. It’s not just a nice sounding idea. We all have that friend on Instagram who’s like, ‘Positivity! Yeah here we go!’ And you go, ‘Wow that image had great graphic design it must be true.’ No it isn’t. So we’re in an age of people opening up but there’s also a lot of nonsense on Facebook so when we’re thinking about how we feel and making changes to our lives, we need to trust the experts.

#daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan #phan #mine #interview

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nerdy-bits · 3 years

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Sable: A World Worth Exploring

It feels like I've been climbing for hours. Each handhold bringing the next platform closer and closer, I keep a close eye on my stamina. What a tragedy it would be to lose all of this height if I miscalculated my ability to hold on until the next ledge. I glance over my shoulder at the towering fall beneath me, not afraid of dying, after all I have the Perpetual to slow any untimely decent, but while taking in the striated pillars of stone above the ocean of sand I can’t help but fret that I won’t make the climb. With a grunt I mount the ledge and pause briefly, letting my stamina return. The view above is daunting, I’m only halfway up this climb. I survey the possible routes, chose the most actionable, and make my way up another sheer rock wall. I’m immediately reminded of Shadow of the Colossus, though this is no living beast. Every movement a careful exercise of judgment and execution, I make my way, slowly, up to the top. At the summit lies a pair of stone silo-esque buildings adorning an abandoned courtyard. Birds line the wooden pegs jutting out from each tower. There’s a dilapidated cart, its canvas slouching between dry-rotted struts, the wheels long detached. Turns out there is nothing of material gain atop this precipice, but a short climb to the top of a silo, displacing the reposed birds, yields a different kind of award. In the distance I can see what I will later discover is the Eyrie, a collection of ancient buildings cresting the the finger-like towers of the Badlands. There is smoke emanating from one of the peaks, a telltale sign that someone has made camp there. The gently bobbing balloon tells me that someone is a Cartographer. The perilous trek to their balloon will have me traipsing the spine of a long dead titanic beast, climb at least a dozen more outcroppings, and likely glide across chasms so high above the Badlands floor that a fall would prove the end of my willingness to attempt again. Somehow, despite the risks, I make the journey. My hands aren’t sweaty, per se, but I feel my shoulders drop a good couple inches when I step up to the Cartographer. It’s a lot of work for a map and a badge, but in Sable, the stylish coming of age tale from Shedworks, the journey is literally the entire point.

I first recall seeing Sable when it was announced in 2018. Like many others, I was immediately drawn to the Moebius influenced art and motorcycle-like gliders. In the three years since its announcement I would remember it occasionally, hoping its release was close. Video games and expectations mix like oil and water, generally. Though I would be the first to tell you it’s ok to be excited by something, in games that often culminates in disappointment. Sometimes that responsibility lies on the shoulders of the developers for talking up their project, but often it rests on the shoulders of fans. We are so prone to dumping all of our hopes and dreams into projects that catch our eye. Sable was in the middle for me. Never something I found controlling my thoughts, but a game I remained fiendishly curious about as more information dripped out of the small UK studio.

In 2021, honestly for the majority of the history of games, one of the defining anchor points in games has been combat. Mechanically it is often what gives a game legs. Is the combat fun, is it repetitive, is it challenging? It’s far more rare to encounter a game that does away with this core mechanic entirely. Sable is not at a lack of things it could use to kill you. From giant beetles to gravity itself, yet it decided to do away with player mortality entirely. You are going to be killing anything here. And nothing is going to try to kill you. It’s refreshing. A respite from the day to day killing that possesses so many other titles. Sable isn’t about mastering the pattern of a bosses attack flurry or finding the right elemental damage to use against mobs or even jumping on enemy heads. It’s a game ostensibly about the coming of age for a young girl named Sable. It’s core mechanic: exploration.

It’s not exactly a new premise. There are other games that put their emphasis on exploration. But where Sable differs, to me, is in its setting. Midden is a beautifully desolate place. From the Ewer, where your Ibexii tribe is settled, the the sprawling deserts that surround it: The centrally located Sansee, Redsee to the west, Hakoa to the southwest, The Wash, to the southeast, The Sodic Waste to the northeast, and the Badlands in the south-center. Each stretch of dust holds aesthetically unique elements. The Sansee is sprawling and wide, with rock outcroppings, plinths and plateaus. The Badlands a collection of towering geological formations. Redsee features deep and layered canyons. The Wash is pale, as its name would imply, and has a hauntingly foggy forest and a massive tract of titanic skeletons. Hakoa is dark-sanded and smog laden, with the incredible Crystal Plateau looming on the horizon. Finally the Sodic Waste is a graveyard of massive ship carcasses, their hollowed shells canyons of a different nature. All of these places bleed into each other with sand. The dunes of one region sweeping into the next, connecting every inch of Midden with a sense, not of loneliness, but of isolation. It’s not lonely because in your travels you will come across a smattering of settlements. In one instance, Eccria in the Redsee, you will find a full blown city. The people of Midden aren’t struggling, this isn’t a post apocalypse. Though in your crawling through fallen ships like the Dunboyne and Shadow of Neave, you will start to weave together a story that suggests these people are the survivors of a tragic and isolating event, interactions with the locals of each region suggest that life is fine. It may be tough at times, but people genuinely seem happy. This lends this almost whimsical nature to the interactions Sable has. I rarely caught myself worried or stressed about the tasks I undertook.

Sable is a coming of age story. It is imparted early on that the children of Midden, as they approach adulthood, venture out on what they call their Gliding. These young adults build (not make - an important distinction) their Gliders, hovering motorcycle-like craft, and set out into the desert to discover their life’s calling. The entire game is framed around Sable’s Gliding. Gliders are expected to explore the place that they inhabit in depth, interacting with and doing favors for the people they come across. As a plot device this works very well on its face, but the writing of Sable quickly lends more to the pull of the Gliding. As you venture out into Midden you will come across people wearing specific masks. Masks are equally utilitarian and identifying in this world. Cartographers wear masks that appear to be fashioned out of sextants and octants, Scrapper masks are shiny and fabricated from - you guessed it - scrap metal, Merchant masks are gold and opulent. There are fourteen masks in total to discover, and most of them require you to acquire badges from members of each guild. Help a Machinist, get a badge. Collect three badges and you can visit the Mask Caster and claim your mask. The cutscene that plays when you receive one of these masks from the Caster is strange and sort of uncomfortable and adds to the mysterious nature of these people.

So off I went. I saddled up on Simoon, my glider (more on that later), and started wandering the arid drifts.

The first thing you will notice playing Sable, as I mentioned before, is its art style. UK developer Shedworks drew heavily from the famous artist Jean Giraud (known also as Moebius). Well know for his peculiar and fascinating style, Moebius’s work is most easily compared when viewed through the lens of ligne claire (French for “clear line”), a style consisting of strong lines and bold colors with little to know hatching. Only vaguely familiar with his work I found myself looking into it more pointedly nearly eight hours into the game. It was so vivid and unique I had to see where it came from. It’s arguably an odd path to discovery, as I am sure many would have sought out the inspiring work first, but what my haphazard process prompted was a sense of awe at Shedworks’ ability to capture the Moebius style in such a large world. Dunes and canyons are painted in bold monotone when the sun is high. Bright oranges and reds punctuated by greens and yellows. As the sun sets the palette begins to bleed into itself as teals fade into deep blues and purples. Find yourself in an unsightly interior after nightfall and color will wash completely from the screen as grays become the dominating tone. There are many ways to beautifully portray an open, sandy world. What Sable does is unique and constantly gave me pause. Clearing a canyon wall to see undiscovered meandering mounds of sand and rock foregrounding a blue scale horizon is stunning. I never got tired of that experience.

Honestly, given what I have told you so far, I had seen all I needed to see of Sable to enjoy it endlessly. Much to my surprise, what I got from the writing easily surpassed my expectations.

Sable isn’t an exposition heavy game. In fact, most of the story that you encounter tells itself to you as you glide about the world. The enormous carcasses of ships and the AI remnant inside them tell you the story of how this population ended up where they are. The small towns and villages, each with their own merchants and Machinists tell you that these people aren’t struggling, they have adapted. The missions you go on will rarely tell a story to you in the dialogue boxes that bookend the quest. Rather, Sable tells you about its world by sending you into it. You start to become familiar with the topography, recognizing outcropping and plateaus, navigating around Kemble’s Cube, using the Bridge of the Betrayed as a reference point, or framing the world around you from the domed top of The Watch. I didn’t become as familiar with the world as I did, say, Night City from last year’s controversial Cyberpunk 2077, though forgoing fast travel for the first half of the game to better learn my surroundings paid off in similar ways. Each region in Sable carries with it a colored distinction, complemented of course by unique topography (a word I realize I am going to use a lot in this piece). With those environmental distinctions I started to piece together the “story” of the people I met. The traders at Burnt Oak Station lived a slow and easy life, soaking in the rolling amber horizon in the mornings and evenings, receding under their tents in the fire-gold afternoon. The citizens of Eccria bustled beneath their canvas sail awnings, the smell of merchant perfumes and fish wafting through the air. A tavern in the center of town, with a multileveled floor plan, the common place to drink the day’s stresses away. The dark and thunderous Seven Sisters Station, an outpost a short glide away from the ominous and beautiful Crystal Plateau, whose denizens deal with the Hakoan crystal miners, crack jokes in the dark at night over stewed pots of small game and warm drinks. None of this is explicitly stated. Still, the way that the creators of Sable constructed their world lends perfectly to the kind of storytelling I am the biggest fan of: Player-driven.

It’s no obscured fact that I absolutely adore the XCOM games, and despite the mechanical differences between them and Sable, I love them largely for the same reason. There is a ton of diligent work put into creating an environment that, once the player is given the reins, allows them to fill it with their own little stories. Then, as you hunt down badges you learn that Machinists can hear the machines in the wilds. Not just the groan of aged and weathered metal humming in the wind, but actually hear the heartbeat of machines, attune to their souls, speak with them. There is a moment later in the game, where Sable mentions liking Simoon’s (her glider) sense of humor, and I was broadsided by this charming sense of discovery and joy. How amazing that their world works like this. To conceptualize that Machinists don’t “make” new machines, instead they find the separated parts of a machine destined to be put together and build them whole anew. It wasn’t far into my journey with Sable that I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Machinist mask would be the one I chose at my Gliding’s end. I had become fully attached to Simoon, emotionally. As I found new parts for her I sought to find the parts that seemed to best bring forth her true voice. The moaning hum of Whale and crackle of Shock Crystal combination I settled on just felt, well, right. I had found her voice. I didn’t change her, I merely gave her the tools to speak freely. Truly an experience I have never felt such ownership of, nor pride in, from any other game.

Then comes the timing of this game’s release in my personal life, something the developers could not have planned for, but nevertheless get to reap the rewards of. For the last three months I have battled sciatic nerve and lower back pain that, at times, proved to be nearly crippling. I’m not a terrifically mobile person day to day anyway, so initially I hadn’t worried about the smothering sense of immobility I was quickly confronted with. I’m a human, I like to move around. Being unable to do so without stabbing pain has been a trial of the most excruciating form. Couple that with an extremely isolationist 2020 and 2021 and sitting down to a game that asks you to simply explore and find the joy in that endeavor was nothing short of a spiritual experience. I know that may sound over exaggerated, but in truth, I really can think of no other way to put it into words. A diehard fan of Bourdain and his globetrotting lifestyle and the food experiences that came with it, I found myself relishing in the novelty of each new place on Midden. What was the food like here? I imagined savory smells wafting from merchant booths, condensation beaded glasses and sweet concoctions at the bars, the particular smell of percolated coffee in an enamel mug at campfires. I was freed by Sable to travel freely. To run and jump and climb and explore and solve and learn.

Mark Twain is attributed with saying “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” Sable seems to have taken that sentiment and made it the core of this world’s ethos. Go out and see the world, experience what it and its many different people have to offer. Find your place among them, beside them, and then move forward into adulthood with this new appreciation for what is around you. It’s something all people should do. It’s something far too few people ever actually do. On Midden, for the young Sable, it is simply how life is lived.

I try to write about games as personally as I can. This often leads to long breaks between written pieces because not every game speaks to me in a way I feel I have something unique to share. Sable gave me something to write about from its very first moments to its very last. A coming of age tale that has just as much to say about what it means to find your place in the world as it does reminding you to remember what it felt like to explore without fear. A world where learning is more important than fighting. A world where the remnants of the past are a guiding light to where we are going more than a reminder of how it used to be. What a tremendous way to think. What a wonderful thing to put in the hands of players.

So to close, in the words of Sable herself, looking up at the Hakoan Crystal Farmer stooping over her, and as a reminder that what you take from this game is your own: “My reading is informed by the markers I see among my own people, the shorthands of a culture, and [you] are in no way beholden to my interpretation.” Though I imagine, if you enter with an open mind, you will find a similarly beautiful creation.

#sable #game pass #xbox #pc #indie game #shedworks #adventure game #review

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theworldbrewery · 4 years

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what does it mean to play with a high (or low) stat?

fun fact: “commoners” (i.e., your average unskilled random) have a 10 in every ability score.

they are the average of the average. the most middle-of-the-road we can achieve. and they will never reflect your Player Character’s reality.

but they are a great baseline for determining where your characters are outstanding, and where they will struggle.

An average person can lift 50 lbs comfortably, has enough hand-eye coordination to play a decent game of ping-pong against an equally-matched opponent, can fight off most communicable diseases, knows how to read, can tell when they need more information to be able to act, and is able to handle basic social contact when there is no reason for conflict.

***note--I’m using these “averages” to talk about what a non-disabled and neurotypical person will be generally capable of without training or honing a particular skill. Being within 2-3 ability score points of the average doesn’t necessarily require justification, but it might still be fun to explore***

so your barbarian with an 18 in strength isn’t just an outlier, it’s a major difference from what Jane Ordinary can manage on a typical day, and the sweet-talking powers of your 20-charisma sorcerer are going to feel supernatural compared with what the traveling horse salesman is used to. When you’re creating a character, whether that’s an NPC with class levels or a player character, consider why a character’s stats are the way they are.

If they were naturally gifted, is that why they felt called to the class they chose? Did they work hard to be where they are today, and let other abilities fall by the wayside? Did a higher power imbue them with strength, charisma, or wisdom to make a perfect vessel for their plans? Reimagining the reasons behind your statistics can help develop your backstory and even factor into your character arc down the line.

***Another note: be especially self-aware if you’re going to play a neuroatypical, mentally ill, or disabled character and you aren’t yourself a member of the group you’re representing. I love representation but don’t be insensitive---and if anything I mention here comes off as insensitive, let me know and I’ll adjust accordingly!***

STRENGTH:

At first level, a higher-than-average STR score is going to reflect a lot of training, whether intentional or not. The character may have grown up chopping wood and hauling logs around a woodland village, spent their young adulthood in a mine, or studied with bodybuilders in a remote bodybuilder monastery.

In contrast, a lower-than-average STR score might correspond to a pampered lifestyle, one where the character never needed physical labor to get by; or perhaps they have a disability, such as a bad back, or a chronic illness that leaves their muscles weaker than usual.

DEXTERITY:

A character with a high DEX is flexible and fast. They might have been an acrobat in a circus, flipping around on the trapeze. An urchin whose two options are move fast or get arrested is also likely to be dextrous, as much as a noble who, as a child, often crept around and hid in their family estate to avoid lessons or spy on the adults. They might be from a tree-dwelling community where leaping across platforms is commonplace, or use their dexterity on the rigging of the ship they made their home. A very dextrous person might even have EDS or another condition that makes them hyper-flexible.

A low DEX might, like low STR, match with a disability like arthritis or an old leg injury that never healed properly, or it could align with pressure to behave properly in polite company--never running, climbing, or skulking around. Low DEX could also translate to clumsiness, a fear of taking physical risks, or a tremor that makes Sleight of Hand difficult.

CONSTITUTION:

High CON is a matter of resistance to illness, poison/drugs/alcohol, and general hardiness or stamina. A high CON character might take vitamins and supplements to keep their peak physical condition, do exercises to increase lung capacity or practice running to build endurance. They may take small doses of poison to build up immunity, or maybe they’ve been a low-grade alcoholic for so long their liver is adept at filtering out toxins. They might have done charity marathons to raise money for good causes back home.

Low CON might therefore translate to an arrhythmia or other chronic illnesses such as asthma, POTS, or even severe allergies. The low CON character could have been trapped in a sheltered upbringing that never exposed them to disease or required them to stand and move for hours. Maybe they have never been exposed to drink or drugs and are an incurable lightweight.

INTELLIGENCE:

A high-INT character may have spent years under the tutelage of scholars, worked hard to get into an educational institution, or learned history and magic from the elders of their community with the intent to carry the knowledge into the next generation. They may have autism that helps with information recall, ADHD that leads to hyperfocus on a few specific topics, or another form of neurodiversity.

A low-INT character may have never had the chance to learn from their uneducated family, or be so without a community that no one bothered to teach them. They might have a learning disability, memory problems, or chronic fatigue that causes brain fog.

WISDOM:

A high-WIS character is generally observant, able to assess the intentions of others, clear-headed, and pragmatic--or at least practical. High Wisdom may come from being taught from a young age to pay attention to one’s surroundings, be a part of a community’s religious or ethical worldview, or be a necessary skill developed for survival in a world full of hazards or underhanded strangers. High WIS scores can also derive from anxiety or trauma that make characters more sensitive to information and more likely to observe patterns that otherwise go unnoticed.

Low WIS characters might have very little life experience, or be naive because of the way they’ve been taught to view the world. They might have issues with visual or auditory processing that affect their perception, have low empathy that makes insight a struggle, or experience depression, psychosis, or paranoia that leads to difficulty assessing what is real.

CHARISMA:

High CHA characters may spend months or years mastering the performing arts, honing their ability to lie or stretch the truth, or practicing their most intimidating posture. Or their Charisma may stem from being completely genuine and trustworthy, without any apparent artifice. Characters with sociopathy may know how to turn any social encounter to their advantage, and those with high empathy may be simply likeable. A high-CHA character could be funny, attractive, talented, or have a magnetic personality for any number of reasons, including trying to impress a particular social group or person, a career goal as a comedian or performer, or being raised with rustic hospitality.

A low-CHA character may have trouble with eye contact or even be compulsively unable to lie (or a compulsive liar that’s simply unconvincing); they might have sensory issues that make them sensitive to music or certain vocal timbres, or they might be brusque and businesslike. Low Charisma can stem from a roughshod upbringing, a cultural emphasis on stark honesty even when unsolicited, or a lack of awareness for someone else’s perspective. Even a speech impediment or a trauma that leads to skittishness can read as low-Charisma if you want to play it that way (though it doesn’t have to be).

Sometimes, a character is in the middle-of-the-road but you still want to include one of the options mentioned above. In that case, they could have multiple “conflicting” influences in their background. A character with ADHD might be very good with a specific subject but the ADHD also manifests as memory issues, reflecting a 12 Intelligence score and its ambiguity (and proficiency in specific skills will reflect the specificity of hyperfocus, for instance).

None of these are hard-and-fast rules. If you want to play a character with chronic pain that doesn’t have a matching low score, that’s also amazing! But if you’re starting from the stats and want to figure out the “in-game justification” for why someone’s abilities are where they are, I hope this little outline helps.

If you like our posts, consider donating to our Ko-Fi @ theworldbrewery. We are saving up for Volo’s Guide to Monsters (and I’m kinda looking forward to trashing Volo’s opinions)

#dnd #d&d #dungeons and dragons #rpgs #character creation

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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#video#important content#aight so fun fact#when I was getting certified to be a Victim Advocate#they dead ass had us watch the Unconscious People Don’t Want Tea video#I am not joking#in a nationally certified course#videos like this matter#a LOT tags via @desperatecheesecubes

Oh I absolutely believe you. Most of the most useful and informative and accurate content about rape culture, consent, victim advocacy and the like IS indie created and produced.....precisely because of how much of society’s entertainment content is produced by literal predators.....who actively gatekeep content that would cast their own in an unfavorable light from being professionally made and circulated.

I mean, its literally the heart of why I stress the importance of having these kinds of conversations in fandom spaces....because the only people actually capable of barring these kinds of discussions are....other fans.

But at pretty much every level of professional media and entertainment, there are predators in positions of power - whether they were already predatory when making their way up the ladder or simply grew to like it once they realized they were in a position to exploit their power predatorily like, literally doesn’t matter.

The point is just that they’re THERE, and we’re talking about the people who play some of the largest roles in actively SHAPING our culture....hence why rape and abuse culture have such large footholds and footprints in our society. Because it was actively shaped to be that way by people who literally have a vested interest in eroding perceptions of consent and victim advocacy and overall just making society in general more vulnerable to BEING preyed upon, whenever it suits predatory culture shapers’ desires.

Its like why I so often go back to the example of the infamous ‘sexually charged’ scene from X2 between Logan and Bobby Drake, one that never actually turns into a kind of teacher/student trope but which hits all the same beats and thus was perceived and received as EXACTLY that by fandoms of the time.....like, this scene was written and directed by a known predator. Bryan Singer has been directly accused of preying upon underage actors on his sets going all the way back to the 90s -

(and I swear to god if any idiot comes into my inbox on anon to try and make this about homophobia when I’ve literally been gaybashed by homophobes and thus am more than aware of how easy it is for homophobes to make USE of something like this to advance their own agendas, but is also equally aware that homophobes don’t actually need SHIT to be homophobic and advance their agendas anyway, and thus I’m actually in no way obligated to defend or distract from an actual predator just because we happen to share a marginalization, like fair warning, try that with me and I will attempt to set you on fire with the power of my wrath)

- but like point being.....this isn’t a coincidence? Singer’s predatory behavior has been a known quantity since even BEFORE the X-Men movies, and that scene in X2 is thus a classic example of someone like I’m describing using their extremely wide-reaching platform to actively shape culture according to his own vested interests. He’s literally using pop culture and entertainment to make the kind of dynamic that HE is interested in perpetrating with underage teens like, seem enticing, harmless and socially accepted all at the same time. This is LITERALLY normalization in action.

And its everywhere in our entertainment, and its the precise reason there’s barely any counter narratives to this in actual widespread media.....because many of the gatekeepers of Hollywood are literal predators themselves. It doesn’t mean that every creative in Hollywood is, just that they exist....and that they also exist in positions of power on the executive or studio side of things, thus making it fairly impossible to get actual counter narratives made on a culture-shaping level of equivalent platform....because they block such narratives from getting produced at all, or else use their influence to dilute or water down the point of such a narrative to the point of being all but useless.

Its like the same thing as why sex work is criminalized in the first place. People can go on all they want about how its to act as a deterrent and to protect people from being exploited, but like....I’m a former sex worker and while I’m a male one, I’ve certainly known tons of female sex workers and even with society’s sexism to factor in, like....no. Every female sex worker I’ve ever known or talked with is someone I’ve known to say the exact same thing as I’m outlining below.

That’s never been the reason for criminalization. Its to make it impossible for sex workers - whether they do sex work simply because they like it or are need-based sex workers, with the very existence of any need-based sex workers thus putting the lie to criminalization of sex work as a deterrent (like if people are going to do sex work anyway because the consequences of not doing it, like homelessness or starvation, are everpresent, then the comparatively lesser risk of being CAUGHT doing sex work renders it utterly useless as a deterrent) -

Like point being, the criminalization of sex work on the whole has absolutely nothing to do with deterring shit....its literally to make it easier to EXPLOIT sex workers. I mean, my ACAB feelings aren’t arbitrary or ideological. Even as a guy, I hate cops for deeply personal reasons that stem from my time as a sex worker and the fact that I can personally attest to just how many fucking cops directly target and exploit sex workers in various ways because they more than anyone know that criminalization means THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, because a sex worker has literally NO legal recourse against that, other than opening themselves up to potential legal consequences as well, just for admitting to being a sex worker when trying to report a cop or someone else for rape.

Cops ‘frequent’ sex workers more than pretty much any other ‘client group’ I can personally think of, because the ones who only seek out a badge in the first place because they WANT the ability to throw their weight around with the added perks of institutional power backing them up? They are like, first in line to engage with sex workers in various ways, because they know damn well that they can do literally whatever they want to a sex worker, consent be damned, and there’s pretty much nothing that sex worker can do in recourse without running smack into that Big Blue Wall and an arrest warrant for their own crime of solicitation.

And all of THIS in turn stems from the fact that another major source of ‘clients’ for sex workers is.....politicians. The actual literal law makers who ENACT these laws that criminalize sex work, for example, and thus ensure a ready, reliable victim pool ripe for exploitation by virtue of having no legal protections or opportunities for redress.

But yeah. It doesn’t surprise me on any level to hear that indie vids and tiktoks and the like are utilized in the programs you’re talking about - in fact, that more than anything makes me confident that the course actually knew what it was talking about and was making a sincere effort at empowering and educating people to act as advocates for victims and survivors.

Because the way our society was built from the ground up - by people interested in exploiting power in various ways against the many, many groups of people vulnerable to such exploitations - like, literally rewards and empowers people seeking to do the exact same thing. Thus resulting in predators being entrenched in the halls of power and at the table of culture-shapers like, on practically every level.

Which in turn makes the only spaces available for ACTUAL education and countering the narratives that shape and spread rape culture....literal counter-culture spaces like indie environments. And like fandom COULD be, if more fans would just....LET it be that.

*Shrugs* But whatevs.

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astrolovecosmos · 4 years

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Neptune in the Houses and The Dissolved Ego

“Neptune embodies the urge to transcend the boundaries that keep the soul separate from the whole. Neptune seeks dissolution of the ego, the small self, but this can dissolve into not knowing who or what the self really is.” - Judy Hall.

Neptune in the 1st: There is a sometimes unrealistic environment around the development of self. Many warn of being impressionable, that there are no boundaries for the self. In best case scenario one could argue the ego sees past itself with this placement. This person has a more immediate understanding of the human condition and especially feelings of others. From this can be a healer, poet, helper, maybe empath BUT from this can also be a struggle to find self. In a more negative scene this can be someone with less boundaries, they find it easy to become intimate and vulnerable. Intimacy can be a weapon they wield or blocks for relationships to build or both.

Neptune in the 2nd: Let me guess have you heard that this placement is bad with money? They always are left wanting, even if well off? They are impractical? While I won’t say these associations are completely untrue I understand if you are tired of them. With Neptune in the 2nd things like art/creativity build up their worth. If we look at more specific associations - photography, music, dancing, and poetry. Religion or spirituality could help them feel more bounded to the real world. In the 1st intuition is seen in the self but I would make a claim this placement has a lot of seen or outward intuition too. Here this exist in a tangible way. Their intuition interacting with reality. We know substances are associated with Neptune, there comes a warning that substances can boost their self-esteem but in a house connected to the senses there can be more of a spiritual experience with some substances, of course I know this is a controversial take. Finding great value and meaning for the self in something as innocent as food and drink could be part of this interpretation with substances + senses + value. In terms of “ego”, this allows one to find value in elements other than the material. Ego does not have to rely on objects of wealth. There is depth in a house that tends to get a very surface level reputation.

Neptune in the 3rd: Known to be elusive in communication and connection. A natural knack for creativity which really comes from an idea that they do best with creative ways to learn. The ego here doesn’t get hung up in words and intellectual dogma. There is a way to share feelings and thoughts that reaches others. Expression and learning are important to them especially in an artistic sense such as poetry and song writing. Easily distracted and can lack discipline but they are highly adaptable and this may be seen most in their childhood as well as times when they are open to learning. They help others understand them, the nature of emotions, and fellow humans through communication.

Neptune in the 4th: Things like pride or selfishness are likely to not get in the way of what matters most - family or the feeling of finding belonging. Attachment to the changeable and an unstable home life is associated with this placement. But intuition and feeling is nurtured from their past somehow. This is a highly sensitive individual who was not programmed into being misled by the ego. The flip side of this is that their sense of self might not have been solidified growing up. Selfish wants and needs were not always catered to and this can have both positive and negative outcomes. On the positive this is someone who can be giving and easily sympathizes with others, may even have a sense of humility. But a lack of boundaries and self-focused needs being met can still have consequences that allow them to be easily used and hurt. Learning that change is the only constant at an early age can be an area of strength for them.

Neptune in the 5th: Could get carried away in romances and easily lose sense of self within them BUT while I don't want to downplay those risks, if there was a house with plenty of positives for Neptune it is this one. A creative, intuitive, and emotionally in-tune planet sitting in the house of pleasure, play, and creativity. Neptune can be about romance and in the 5th... here the ego dissolves into foam of fantasy feelings and expectations. Disappointment and crashes down to earth can await but at least here the soul, the individual gets to feel something truly special in their romances. "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." There is a greater understanding about themselves and about others when they dive into the arts/creative expression. Pleasure, the joys of life are felt on another level, maybe even a spiritual one.

Neptune in the 6th: Creativity, imagination, and intuition in the mundane is a gift for this placement. Prone to hypersensitivity and over stress is one burden of this placement but that hypersensitivity still has the ability to grow emotional and inner strength. Here the ego is dismantled by a desire to truly serve and help others. Teamwork and honestly a humanitarian aspect exist in this house. Neptune is here with a connection to human emotion and spirit. They give back on multiple levels.

Neptune in the 7th: Alright, loss of self in a relationship, easily being influenced and used, lack of boundaries - this does exist. Don't boil down Neptune in the 7th to just this. First their ability to read others is uncanny. They know what others need and want. Part of them is driven to please or care for others and this has an ability to be a good thing. The ability to adapt to others can be a skill. They share themselves with many and while this has its downside, while they should learn to protect themselves, this can still be great. One book describes the 7th as a place where we share our humanity. Giving many access to one's humanity, is a positive. Online I know many love to throw around the word "mirror". That element has a place here. They can at times act as a mirror for another, helping them see things in themselves and to learn. Of course "being a mirror" is not anyone's responsibility, something to keep in mind. Relating to another can be a spiritual experience and in many ways, shouldn't it be like this? In the 7th, the ego is dissolved into others.

Neptune in the 8th: Yes their intuition is powerful, it is strong. Can we get an applaud for this? Many books and articles I see warn of a lot of danger and negatives with this placement. A warning of being taken advantage of financially is talked about frequently. If I had to distill it down, the warning would be this: don't let anything good slip away from you. Appreciate what you have in the moment and watch out for the wolf in sheep's clothing. Here walls are peeled away in terms of intimacy, giving, sharing, fears, and the unknown. Not an open book but they have no fear of vulnerability. It is their hunches that will protect them because without it there is just an urge to merge and to share. From this comes the danger of being deceived. The ego doesn't fear appearing weak, showing flaws, getting close. Maybe it isn't always that the ego is dissolved but shared. The self and its expectations, wants, needs are shared to whoever flashes vulnerability back at them. I would look at this as a place of bravery.

Neptune in the 9th: Something to be said about their idealism! Spiritual learning and subjects can take a seat here. "[there is the call] towards ritual and mysticism - or the illusions that pass for it." - Judy Hall. I think the 9th house is an area to be careful of in general - but that is a talk for another day. Be cautious of falling for spiritual illusions and being misled in the area of knowledge, education, morals, and religion. Be careful of blind faith. But Neptune here is in touch with the spiritual realm or the human spirit. Their own inner faith is not that of over confidence but a faith in the universe. Their beliefs overcome any of the ego's needs or insecurities.

Neptune in the 10th: Attracted to creative/artistic careers or careers that can heal/help/serve others - yes. okay. let's move on. Here we see the ego, the self being shared on a mass level. It is "dissolved" into the public sphere. No boundaries can be useful though, giving so many over access, honestly a possible good position for gaining "fame". But I don't like to label certain placements as the "fame" placement. You will find celebrities and public figures with all kinds of charts. But the idea that the public has easy access to them can be a real threat to be aware of too. They can be far reaching in their community or career. They make an influence on others which has its positives and negatives. They connect with others easily on a platform, through their art, or through their work. On an even larger scale, when thinking about society here is someone who can help make the world a better place.... or could set in motion harmful ideologies and emotions to cling to. An ability to see the wounds in society is a strength that would benefit many of us.

Neptune in the 11th: So sensitive to the collective, to the group, maybe even the mood of the room. There is compassion for their fellow woman/man. Being easily fooled/misled in a group setting can be a big negative. Being used by friends is a reoccurring theme. This is a very cordial, amiable, and accepting placement when it comes to dealing with others. Intuition among the collective and within the social realm is strong and this will help them to overcome issues with deceptive or unhealthy friendships. The ego puts down its sword and shield to connect with others in the most straightforward way. It can forge spiritual bonds with people that is unsullied by heavy expectations. Depth can be found in friendship, in a group, in an organization, among an array of relationships and depth doesn't have to be confined to romance or family.

Neptune in the 12th: If there was a place the ego would metaphorically "die", this would be it. Tapping into intuition, creativity, spirituality are strong but out of all that, I want to put the spotlight on how this gives someone a very deep ability to connect with the human condition and the human spirit. Kindness and forgiveness are learned here. I emphasize learn, not inherit, not natural, learned. Understanding when one is a victim that needs to be saved and when one needs to move past being a victim is important. Strength will always exist in the non-tangible. Strength exist in uncovering what is hidden. Strength comes from understanding and accepting what is within.

#neptune #planet #zodiac #astrology #neptune in the houses #natal chart

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true-blue-sonic · 3 years

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Potential spoilers for Sonic 2022/Sonic Rangers and lots of rambles and ideas about how I think the game might work under the cut!

So with the news of Sonic Rangers getting me quite excited indeed, I’ve been mulling over some things, namely: how would an open-world Sonic game actually work? It’s something I’ve seen fans ask for for ages, so it’s great to see that it might get realised! Obligatory side-note: the only true open-world game I have ever played is Breath of the Wild, so all my experience with the genre is based on that game alone.

To get right to the point: from what I know, the main focus of open-world games is being able to explore, explore, explore! Next to beautiful scenery and challenging terrains the world map is littered with sidequests and collectables so you actually have something to travel to, as well. Although Sonic has experience with hub worlds, he’s never had a true open world to play through that wasn’t split up in Zones and Acts. That allows for lots of opportunities, but there are also some things I am very curious about regarding how this will be tackled!

So, the first ‘problem’ of sorts I can come up with is Sonic’s speed. This dude can run at the speed of sound, which for me can cause two potential issues related to his moving speed and world size. We want Sonic to be fast, but we also want a large world, and I can foresee some difficulties there. As such I quickly came up with two scenarios to describe solutions to both:

In the first scenario, Sonic is… basically Not Fast, in order to be able to keep the world size to more manageable levels. He’ll be kind of like a Lost World!Sonic, where he wasn’t particularly fast either. While it would certainly help the development team with creating the map, since there is less to render and program, I feel like it would be somewhat unsatisfactory to play around in such a limited space with a slow hedgie.

In the second scenario, Sonic can run at Boost-level speeds, but in order for exploring and gameplay to be satisfying the would the world will have to be massive for it to feel like an actual place. If you can run from one edge to the other in minutes at best it’ll likely stifle the sense of immersion and desire to explore that open-world games (should) instil, and just like in the first scenario this wouldn’t feel very rewarding and fun to me either. This scenario will certainly be more of a challenge to realise for the development team, though I do hope they’re taking this route; the more places there are to travel around in, the better!

A second problem I can think of is how Sonic’s speed will influence gameplay. Going by the second scenario where Sonic can run pretty quickly, I fear that it’ll make gameplay, especially the puzzle and platforming sections, quite difficult. No-one likes flinging themselves off a cliff accidentally when trying to go just a bit faster during a puzzle or platforming section, after all! I’d say this is luckily solved easily enough by implementing the controls they had in Lost World (a run button… sorry everyone) combined with the boost mechanics; it would make Sonic able to walk, run at a controllable pace, and boost at high speeds at the same time. Especially with the current consoles it should be possible to give each an individual button, so you don’t go flying off the map when you just want to run slowly instead! And it would make the world more fun too: you can go fast if you so desire, or you can take it more easy and look around if you want while still going at a decent pace.

I was also thinking about what the world itself could look like. One of the problems in ‘06 is its massive hub worlds... with absolutely nothing in them to make them even remotely interesting, nor a way to travel around through them quickly. I do believe this is solved in Rangers by packing the game with puzzles and platforming sections, which would imply that there’s plenty of things to do! That’s assuring, at least for me.

Also, in BotW, one of the main features of exploring is Link’s ability to climb just about anything if the weather is nice. Now, I must say that I really don’t see Sonic as a climber, someone who can realistically scale mountains and high buildings at ease. The leak does say that platforming is involved, though that is not exactly the same as climbing. Maybe we’ll get something parkour-like like we got in Lost World, with Sonic being able to run against walls and thus reaching higher places that wat? It would certainly allow for more opportunities to traverse over the map, while also adding something more original to the genre.

I have tons of questions too. The main one as of now is if we will be able to play with other characters, e.g. with each having a special power that allows them to explore the world differently? (E.g. Sonic’s faster speed, Tails’ flight, Knuckles’ digging, and Amy’s hammer, to name a few). I’d love that, though I’m not getting my hopes up. Perhaps it is preferable that the development team focuses on Sonic exclusively and give him a solid moveset, instead of needing to program a dozen characters while risking only one or two actually play satisfactory. I’m sure we’ll get more details about that and the alleged human ghost girl soon enough, though! I can’t wait ^-^

This is just my thoughts and what I think might happen in the game! I’m very much looking forward to learning more about it!

#sonic rangers #again this is just my own thoughts and opinions #but I'm very curious what it will become!#sonic the hedgehog

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enkelimagnus · 3 years

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A Castle in the Forest

Percy x Vex’ahlia, Chapter 3, 3387 words,

A Modern AU, in which Vex is a park ranger taking over the Alabaster Sierras post, and finds much more than she bargained for

Read on AO3

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Keyleth was right about the trail. She’s the only one that really takes it.

It’s a month into Vex’s stay in Whitestone when she bumps into the red-haired half-elf again.

It’s a late morning with a pale winter sun, the kind that doesn’t really warm you in any way. Vex hasn’t had to take off her coat through the exertion of work in a couple of days. The cub plays in a pen she’s hammered into the side of the path when she got there.

She’s a couple of miles into the trail now and it’s getting harder by the day. The further away from civilisation, the more tangled the branches and roots are. She doesn’t easily fall to the ground but even her sure footing fails her regularly.

The trail now snakes along the mountainous platform Castle Whitestone sits on. A thin layer of bushes provides a buffer between the path and the rock, thicker in patches where certain harsher varieties grow. There’s some berry bushes in there, thorny but with delicious fruit that will make Vex’ delight in summer.

She decides to stop for a bit of lunch, gives the cub some milk and solid food. She’s trying to wean him off, regularly asking advice to her old mentors. Once she’s done taking care of him, she sits down on a bigger rock and starts to eat her sandwich of brown bread, cured meats and cheese, with dried fruit on the side. She’s completely out of spices and Vax won’t be there for a week at least.

It’s all a little drab. Despite the pale sun, she can feel the rain coming, and she doubts she’ll be able to spend most of the afternoon working here. She’ll have to pack up and start the hike back down to the edge of the path, for almost two hours.

She stretches out once she’s done eating, closing her eyes and letting herself dig. She settles her feet into the ground, straightens her spine and digs herself into the forest.

Her consciousness expands, past her skull, through her entire body until she’s one with her mind. And then it pushes past her physical form. Through every pore, through her feet’s connection to the ground, she breathes her mind out and lets it tangle with the forest.

It’s a strange sort of feeling. Vex stops breathing for a second as she sinks into the sensation of letting her mind run free. It’s primal. She remembers being taught this strange instinctive ability by other rangers, being taught to let herself be. Let her nature breathe out.

She stops floating after a moment though and focuses on what she’s doing this for. She’s searching for an enemy.

More specifically, she’s searching for a fey. A part of her doesn’t believe she’s truly alone and free of Saundor’s influence, so she searches. She doesn’t find any fey, nothing in the six mile radius her consciousness stretches in. What she finds however is a fiend.

She can’t tell exactly where it is, her powers aren’t that specific, but she knows it’s there. It’s in her radius, in her home, in the place she’s sworn to protect.

The trance ends and she snaps back into her body like a stretched-out rubber hand. She shudders violently, her eyes adjusting to her surroundings. She’s forgotten her own name for a second there.

The fiend’s presence leaves an ashy aftertaste in her mouth. She’ll need to go and talk to a priest about this. She has no idea what the creature’s power is, but she’d rather have some divine magic by her side if she has to root it out.

As she packs her things to get back to work, she hears something. A light footstep, to her right, coming from the south.

Vex’s hand flies to her bow. Lightning-fast, she notches in an arrow and draws it back, focusing on her target.

A half-elf with red hair, tan skin and green eyes. Her hands are up, she has a sheepish smile on her face. Keyleth.

Vex exhales. She doesn’t lower her guard, because Keyleth could still be the fiend, but she relaxes somewhat.

“You startled me,” she says in explanation, but not apology, for the arrow pointed at her.

“I’m sorry,” Keyleth replies, her hands still up even if Vex has lowered her bow. “I wasn’t expecting someone there either.”

Her eyes dart over to the rock formation for a second.

“I’m making sure this trail is secure,” Vex explains. “You can probably handle yourself, but unmarked paths like this one are just begging for idiots to climb up and get themselves injured. And then I have to deal with it,” she mutters. “And it’s a major liability.”

“I get it,” Keyleth hums. Her right hand settles on the rock.

She seems anxious despite her relaxed demeanor. It may simply be a façade. Her eyes dart to the stone right behind Vex, or up to the castle regularly, as if checking if something is still there. She’s much more nervous, almost hostile towards Vex than the first time they met. Something’s wrong.

“I was wondering,” Vex starts again, and green eyes snap back to her. “I did some… energy checks around here earlier and something was wrong. I felt a-”

“There are many wrong things in the Parchwood Timberlands,” Keyleth snaps, cutting Vex off. “Undead sometimes, some elementals too. Comes with the territory. A lot of magical energy here.”

She’s trying to distract Vex’ attention. She’s lying to her, it’s almost too obvious. The red-head is not good at deception and it immediately pings Vex’ radar. Her eyes are darting back to the stone almost in panic now, her arm not holding her staff is stiff to her side with the fist closed.

“I’m not talking about those,” Vex coldly points out. “I felt a fiend. A couple undead or werewolves or elementals I can deal with, and was warned about when I took my post. But not fiends.”

Keyleth is stiff as a board now. “I… I don’t know. I don’t come here often, and I only come on this trail. I can’t help you,” she mumbles under her breath.

She’s still lying. Vex feels the rise of anger in her throat, anger at this girl who is not letting her do her job correctly.

“Listen, I don’t know why you’re lying to me but this is dangerous. I don’t know what your business with this situation is, but whatever you’re protecting, it’s gonna kill people. That’s what fiends do. They’re evil.”

Keyleth shifts, her grasp on her staff white-knuckled. “I’m not protecting anything,” she answers tightly. “I can’t help you. I’m a druid, and a weak one at that. I can’t help anyone.”

Now there is a light tone of despair in her voice and Vex can feel the guilt coming off of the young woman in waves. She sighs deeply. She hopes this one’s problem won’t be something she bumps into in the dark of the forest.

“Fine,” Vex huffs. “Do whatever you were here to do. I’ll go get the local priest of Pelor for help with that creature anyway. We need divine power to combat fiends.”

Keyleth shifts again, staring at Vex with a strange intensity. She’s maybe not as hesitant as before. There is something stronger and harder about her. Vex wonders why she would be protecting a fiend.

Evil has many faces, and maybe Keyleth was seduced by one of those. Vex couldn’t blame her if she was. She’d made that mistake before. She just wished she could save Keyleth from this.

“I… Sorry for bothering,” Keyleth mutters before she starts walking northward, to the part of the trail Vex has yet to work.

“Good luck,” Vex replies similarly as she watches the druid walk away. She seems to relax as she moves away from Vex. Well.

She screwed that one up. Keyleth could have been an ally, but her… nervousness around the topic of the fiend didn’t make her seem trustworthy.

Vex sighs heavily, closing her eyes a little. This city is much more of a mess than expected, and now she really will have to go to that Temple of Pelor and see if there’s a priest that can help her root out the fiend.

Maybe that can be her late afternoon trip, she realizes. She’s made enough headway for today, and she has no desire to stick around to see Keyleth again once she walks back down the trail in a couple of hours, hopefully satisfied with her hike.

Now that she thinks of it, coming to one specific trail once a month or once every couple of months and never any other is a strange habit. What is Keyleth finding up that trail? Is there a hideout that Vex will walk in? She should have asked her that, fuck. If that druid knows all about this trail, Vex needs to know too. She has no desire to find herself falling into a trap because she didn’t ask the person who knew.

She packs up her things and gets the cub back from his pen, before starting the long walk back down to her truck. It takes her about two hours, and she makes sure to drive home and leave the animal there before she heads into town.

Whitestone looks beautiful in the winter light, she has to admit that. It’s like the city is made to exist in this weather. She hasn’t spent enough time here to gauge if this is the average weather or not.

The high walls are almost blindingly light as she drives on the driveway surrounding the city, from the west side where she came out of the woods to the eastern side, where the cemetery and some of the temples are.

She’s done a little research and talked to some people. The Dawnfather is the main deity of the city and has been the patron of Whitestone and its ruling family, the De Rolos, since they arrived from Wildemount. Some stories say that the Parchwood Timberlands were created by the conflict between Pelor, the Dawnfather and Tharizdun, the Chained Oblivion, during the Calamity.

Stories of divine battles mark the entirety of Exandria. Fallen giants make for mountains and greatswords fit for deities are considered responsible for rivers or valleys opening into land. The supposed origin of the Parchwood Timberlands is not the only story of this kind. The place she used to call home, Syngorn, is situated in the middle of a forest known for growing from the ley energy left behind after the Divergence.

Vex has never been the most faithful. Her mother worshipped in that way that many do, partially and because of tradition and habit more than motivated by faith. When she and Vax left her for Syngorn, they found a city where the Elders’s very parents had been betrayed by the Arch Heart and left behind in the time of the Calamity. Though some had forgiven the deity and seen it as a gift, as it allowed them to become a people of the Feywild, some still held a grudge.

She guesses she took in the grudge part more than the forgiveness part.

The influence of the Dawnfather runs deep in Whitestone, from what she’s read. The Sun Tree towering in the center of the city, also represented on the city’s crest, was supposedly given by him. The Dawnfather’s temple, the Zenith, is a major place of worship, with the Lady’s Chamber. And it’s exactly what she needs.

Vex parks in the lot by the walled-up enclave of temples and cemetery. The Zenith leans against the Southern wall, towering over it. The Eastern gate is right in front of it, allowing a view of the tall wooden doors.

She steps into the yard in front of the temple and swallows. The door seems closed, but she doubts it actually is. She doesn’t know any reason why the temple would be closed today. Every house of worship of Pelor she’s seen before has been opened every day and night.

The doors are beautiful, dark wood carved with wreaths and sun rays, flames licking up the sides of it.

There isn’t anyone outside, the yard quiet and empty. As she walks across the grass, she tracks more mud than green. Vex sighs before she uses the thick iron knocker on the door. It used to be painted in gold, it seems. There’s still chips of paint in some untouched corners.

Her knock seems to echo a little inside but there is no immediate response. She waits there, wind slashing stray strands of hair into her face and sipping through her thick winter coat. From the corner of her eye, she notices that a part of the western wall of the temple is being rebuilt. She can’t imagine the cold in there.

She’s about to go and look closer at the fallen stones of the wall when something slides behind the doors. Bars probably, heavy iron locks opening. Within a few seconds, a smaller door opens in the massive right one.

Behind the panel is a human, with salt and pepper hair and a matching beard. They wear cream robes with red and gold embroideries and detailing representing suns and shields, with a golden sash wrapped around the waist. Vex can’t see exactly but they seem to be wearing several thick layers of fabric. Something about them is familiar, as if she’s seen them before.

“Sun’s Greeting, what can I do for you?” They say in a low, soft voice that must sound beautiful in a song.

Vex smiles. “Sun’s Greeting to you,” she responds. “I’m the new ranger of the Alabaster Sierras park, and I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time to discuss something I’ve sensed.”

They nod, something shifting in their eyes, though Vex cannot tell what.

“Vex’ahlia Vessar, right?” they ask. “I’ve heard about you.” They’re still smiling at her, but Vex feels frozen in place.

She hasn’t told anyone her last name yet. She’s been very careful not to. Many people and tribes do not use last names, and it is not uncommon enough to raise suspicion. The fact this person she has never met before knows a name they shouldn’t know is terrifying. She would drop into her trance and search for fey if she wasn’t in the middle of a conversation.

“Just… Just Vex’ahlia,” she replies, her voice wavering frustratingly.

“Father Reynal,” he introduces himself. “The current head of worship of the Zenith. Please, come in.”

He takes a step back to let her walk into the temple. Vex’s eyes stare at the mark of the door on the stone of the floor, but her legs walk her in automatically.

It’s almost as cold inside as it is outside, despite the large roaring fireplace behind the altar, across the room from the door. Candles are lit as the pale sun struggles to shine through the tall stained glass windows on the walls. There’s three on each of the longest walls.

Her muddy boots dirty the red carpet, but the priest doesn’t seem to pay that any mind. He’s looking right at her. Vex swallows. The door closes behind her, leaving her in the low-lit empty church.

The wall to her right is partially fallen, covered by large blankets suspended from the ceiling and attached to below the holes, to try and provide cover from the elements. It’s not working well.

Something has happened here, Vex can’t shake that feeling. The fallen walls and chipped paints and that thing about the De Rolos that the owner of the Alcove was so reluctant to talk about. Something terrible happened in this city, it hangs from the walls and through the air like ash after a catastrophic fire. It makes Vex want to cough it out, even if she knows it’s not really there.

The priest starts walking deeper in. He’s limping quite heavily. Vex follows him, dread coiling in her stomach. This is not the sunrise of divine positive energy she’s expected.

“What can I help you with? What have you sensed?” Father Reynal asks and Vex manages to make her brain start again.

“I sensed a fiend. In a six-mile radius from the stone platform on which the castle sits,” she explains. “I’ve dealt with fiends a couple of times, but not knowing what this one’s power is, I was hoping to gather some divine help.”

The priest raises an eyebrow at her. “I’m afraid a couple hours of hiking up the mountains is out of my current capacities,” he replies. His voice is much heavier, much more haunted. “That’s all you felt, right? A fiend, somewhere in that area. No specifics?”

Vex shakes her head. “My training only offers rather… general information,” she sighs. “That’s all I can give you.”

“I don’t think I can help you in any way,” he looks rather saddened by the fact.

“Maybe there is another member of your house of worship that would be up for some fiend hunt in the woods?” She asks, raising an eyebrow.

Father Reynal huffs lightly. “I’m the only one here,” he says. “The only one taking care of this temple. If I can’t help you, no acolyte of Pelor can, in Whitestone.”

Vex looks around the temple. The pews wear a layer of dust she hadn’t noticed originally. A gust of wind slips under the blanket trying desperately to keep it out. The candles’ lights tremble. It’s desolate. Father Reynal looks more tired and older like this, shadows digging in his face.

“I thought the Dawnfather was the most worshipped deity of the city,” she whispers.

The priest chuckles humorlessly. “He’s still worshipped alright, but the people don’t find the time or energy to come to the temple anymore. They haven’t in years.”

A lot of her information is wrong. Way too much for her comfort, actually. Not only did she not know the de Rolos were all dead, but now this too? The nagging feeling of dread tightens in her chest again.

“I’m sorry,” she swallows.

Father Reynal sighs. “Whitestone hasn’t been the Dawnfather’s beloved city for a very long time, but it has only recently become this visible. We should have known something was wrong a long time ago but we were all blind.”

The state of the city, the thing that happened, are weighing on this man something awful. Vex swallows.

“Do you know of anyone who could help me? I think the fiend is powerful enough for mind control.” She then starts recounting her encounter with Keyleth, who the half-elf is and why she’s worried about her, with the priest watching her intently. When she’s done, she looks at him honestly, earnestly. “I really need some help in this matter. A life may be at stake.”

“I know the druid you’re talking about,” Father Reynal nods. “But I wouldn’t worry. She has a strong mind, and she knows the path well. She’s not enthralled. I would be aware.”

That feels final. He’s shutting her out of that topic, shoving her worries away. He probably knows better than her about fiends and enthrallment but Vex can’t shake the stress in her bones. Maybe it’s only her own experience with Saundor, maybe she’s projecting it all on Keyleth and that fiend…

“Unless you have something else to ask…” the priest points out. “I will see you out. Things need to be done here, work.”

He coaxes Vex back to the door and opens it. She’s being shut out of something, again. It’s what comes with being a stranger to Whitestone, but she’s here to take care of people and nature alike, not to hurt anyone. Why won’t they tell her things she needs to know?

“I understand,” she says between gritted teeth as she steps back through the door.

Right as the man is about to close the door back on her, he stops. His eyes land on her again, heavy and sad.

“Maybe go ask in town. The Lady’s Chamber might know if there are good clerics in town,” Father Reynal advises. “And the tavern is always a good place to ask.”

And with that, the thick carved wood slams in Vex’ face.

#perc'ahlia #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #fic #critical role #vox machina #mine #vaxleth #vaxilmore

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