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#place reserved regardless)
navramanan · 1 year
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Dont know which would be worse
#having only myself to blame or being able to point fingers at my parents#sometimes i do both. i blame myself but also my parents but then i look at my sister who had the same parents#and she still has a more fullfilling social life than i do#she has her few friends but her friendships are so fulfilling she doesnt want any more#and then you have me fighting tooth and nail to meet new people#and still feel incredibly lonely most of the time#i love the friends i have but i feel alone regardless#it's like i dont have anyone to really count on. which is selfish. but i've always felt like a reserve friend#if that makes sense. like ''she'll be there regardless''. like i'm in a reserve room incase anyone should need me#i'm convinced there's something wrong with me. something i just cant manage to do right#i know i shouldnt hold on to the past but how if it affects my present#i always feel so awful when i see and hear about the concept ''friendships formed during childhood & adolescense are the most special''#and everyone i know left that phase with a best friend. and a couple good friends#and i left it feeling like i just. you know how schools are crowded places and you exit from the door and everyone goes home#i felt like while everyone was leaving with at least someone i was leaving it alone#like watching everyone walk away with each other and i'm walking out alone#like. like i was just surrounded by so many people when did it become so empty#i wish i had at least that one person with whom i have that very special bond#i feel like i have no one to really count on. no one needs me while i need someone#i'm scared of my future too like i'll remain this lonely for a long time. bc what will happen with me#when i've already lost my chance in school and uni#uni was atrocious it started with covid and all my classes were completely online the first two semesters#i somehow managed to make three friends that are very dear to me#but as i said. i'm looking for that one special connection and i think this search for it will be my demise 🤣#anyway i feel like if i continue it will get less comprehensible#nesi rants
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isalabells · 2 years
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fiercynn · 1 month
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on ao3's current fundraiser
apparently it’s time for ao3’s biannual donation drive, which means it’s time for me to remind you all, that regardless of how much you love ao3, you shouldn’t donate to them because they HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY AND NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
we’ve known for years that ao3 – or, more specifically, the organization for transformative works (@transformativeworks on tumblr), or otw, who runs ao3 and other fandom projects – has a lot of money in their “reserves” that they had no plans for. but in 2023, @manogirl and i did some research on this, and now, after looking at their more recent financial statements, i’ve determined that at the beginning of 2024, they had almost $2.8 MILLION US DOLLARS IN SURPLUS.
our full post last year goes over the principles of how we determined this, even though the numbers are for 2023, but the key points still stand (with the updated numbers):
when we say “surplus”, we are not including money that they estimate they need to spend in 2024 for their regular expenses. just the extra that they have no plan for
yes, nonprofits do need to keep some money in reserves for emergencies; typically, nonprofits registered in the u.s. tend to keep enough to cover between six months and two years of their regular operating expenses (meaning, the rough amount they need each month to keep their services going). $2.8 million USD is enough to keep otw running for almost FIVE YEARS WITHOUT NEW DONATIONS
they always overshoot their fundraisers: as i’m posting this, they’ve already raised $104,751.62 USD from their current donation drive, which is over double what they’ve asked for! on day two of the fundraiser!!
no, we are not trying to claim they are embezzling this money or that it is a scam. we believe they are just super incompetent with their money. case in point: that surplus that they have? only earned them $146 USD in interest in 2022, because only about $10,000 USD of their money invested in an interest-bearing account. that’s the interest they earn off of MILLIONS. at the very least they should be using this extra money to generate new revenue – which would also help with their long-term financial security – but they can’t even do that
no, they do not need this money to use if they are sued. you can read more about this in the full post, but essentially, they get most of their legal services donated, and they have not, themselves, said this money is for that purpose
i'm not going to go through my process for determining the updated 2024 numbers because i want to get this post out quickly, and otw actually had not updated the sources i needed to get these numbers until the last couple days (seriously, i've been checking), but you can easily recreate the process that @manogirl and i outlined last year with these documents:
otw’s 2022 audited financial statement, to determine how much money they had at the end of 2022
otw’s 2024 budget spreadsheet, to determine their net income in 2023 and how much they transferred to and from reserves at the beginning of 2024
otw’s 2022 form 990 (also available on propublica), which is a tax document, and shows how much interest they earned in 2022 (search “interest” and you’ll find it in several places)  
also, otw has not been accountable to answering questions about their surplus. typically, they hold a public meeting with their finance committee every year in september or october so people can ask questions directly to their treasurer and other committee members; as you can imagine, after doing this deep dive last summer, i was looking forward to getting some answers at that meeting!
but they cancelled that meeting in 2023, and instead asked people to write to the finance committee through their contact us form online. fun fact: i wrote a one-line message to the finance committee on may 11, 2023 through that form, when @manogirl and i were doing this research, asking them for clarification on how much they have in their reserves. i have still not received a response.
so yeah. please spend your money on people who actually need it, like on mutual aid requests! anyone who wants to share their mutual aid requests, please do so in the replies and i’ll share them out – i didn’t want to link directly to individual requests without permission in case this leads to anyone getting harassed, but i would love to share your requests. to start with, here's operation olive branch and their ongoing spreadsheet sharing palestinian folks who need money to escape genocide.
oh, and if you want to write to otw and tell them why you are not donating, i'm not sure it’ll get any results, but it can’t hurt lol. here's their contact us form – just don’t expect a response! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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mochinomnoms · 5 months
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In regard to interspecies romance
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Humans have a fairly easy time pursuing the other species in Twisted Wonderland, though there are exceptions to that rule.
multi (separate) x reader [wc] - 2,252 [note] - one of the first things i ever wrote, though i never posted cause i didnt edit it. thought i would anyways cause its kinda cute. Edited 12/14/23 to add a readmore
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Despite their animal like tendencies and courting methods, it's incredibly common to see human-beastmen couples and families. Perhaps it's due to how similar their behaviors are to their animal counterparts, but humans are fond of how beastmen flirt and display affection. Beastmen are offended by the comparison, but it's hard to deny how similar, and cute, they are to the common wolf, hyena, or lion.
Wolf and other canine beastmen enjoy being close to their mates. They like to be physically affectionate, almost playful with their partners. They'll nuzzle into the crook of their neck—no matter how much bigger they are compared to their human—lean against them when they walk, and will happily be by their beloved's sided at all times. Furthermore, they primarily show their effectiveness as partners by being great providers, regardless of gender, and showing off how tight-knit their packs are. After all, family is very important to them, and they'll expect to have one, no matter how big or small, with their partner in the future.
If you catch Ruggie trying to slyly and smoothly place a hand on the small of you back when moving through crowds, no you don't. If a person notices Jack momentarily grabbing (gingerly, mind you) your sides as he slips behind you to reach the potion ingredient on the shelf above you, don't mention how his touch lingers ever so slightly. Maybe take it with a grain of salt when Jack tries to invite you to visit his family over break, as friends, of course. And when Ruggie brags to you about how well he watched over the neighborhood kids growing up, how he'd make for a great family man, it's all hypothetical.
Feline beastmen are more reserved in their affections in public, especially compared to canines, and even more so for lion beastmen. It's more common for them to show affection in more subtle manners, such as buying their partner's food and drinks without being asked, going out of their way to help them when they're struggling at school or work, and are able to spend hours just in their general vicinity. As long as their beloved is around, they're happy. In private, though, expect to have their entire body draped over them, weight and all, shoved into their personal space to the point that it becomes a foreign concept. Leona embodies this to his entire core, too prideful to perform PDA, but just prideful enough that he knows he can take up all your time and space with no consequence. Unless that consequence is your love and affection, which he supposes he could suffer through if you hear him purring, don't point it out.
All lion beastmen hold their pride close to their heart (no matter how much a certain prince would deny it) and their partner is no exception. Their pride is an intrinsically developed social network made of an extended, but closed family network. It requires all new partners to be carefully and slowly introduced to the rest of the pride, more so in Leona's case due to the royal family being traditionally made up of Sunset Savana nobility. You won't be the first non-beastmen, but are the first foreigner in a very long time to be introduced. Don't worry, though, Leona is nothing if not patient, and his family are just happy to know that he's found someone.
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On the other end of the spectrum, however, are human-fae relations. Uncommon, though not for a lack of trying on humans' parts, due to most of the fairfolk residing in the isolated Briar Valley. The complicated history between the two species, ancient to humans but still relatively fresh for fae, doesn't help either. There's also the unfortunate consequence of humankind's rather short lifespans compared to the average 1,000-year lifespan of the fae. Unless the fae is in their final hundred or so years, they'll almost always outlive their partner without magical interference.
It's not impossible though, and as younger fairfolk leave the valley to explore the world, more marriages have resulted in half-fae children, both human and beastmen. As partners, fae are devoted to the health and safety of their loved ones. Increasing tenfold into nearly coddling territory with non-fae. Compared to them, their humans and beastmen are awfully fragile and naive, and require their protection. This can cause animosity between them, however, and only fae that are willing to learn and change their old ways result in happy, long-lived marriages.
They're also generally known to have lengthy courting methods: not dating, that implies something casual, no they court. Once they've established interest in you, their end goal is marriage, no ifs, ands, or buts. Fairfolk are generous with gifting during courtship: all gifts are about an equal-exchange and your acceptance of their gifts is a reciprocation of their feelings. At the end of the courtship, you can expect a small feast to be displayed at a ceremony held between their and your family. This is an especially important ceremony when courting humans and beastmen: fairy food can often cause lasting damages to those that consume it without permission. By offering their food to you and your kin, they are welcoming you into their world and telling you that they will never intentionally bestow harm to you or your kin. If you choose to accept the food, then you agree to do the same til the end of your days.
Lilia is a strange case, having already lived a long life and being well traveled, a gleeful participant in the strange customs and traditions of humans and beastmen. He'd much rather participate in other's dating and courtship rituals than his own people's. It's fascinating how fleeting the process can be, yet it can result in everlasting devotion. Don't mistake his flexible nature for disinterest, however. He's still a fae, and if you start finding silly little knickknacks of his on their desk, you can expect to never be rid of him.
The Draconia family-line is steadfast in their traditions, even if Lilia raised the latest prince. So don't expect anything other than the previously explained rituals from Malleus, even if you're not aware of them. Taking gems, jewelry, and clothing made of the finest material you'll ever lay hands from his hoard means little to him if it means you'll accept the gift (and him). Even if you aren't aware of how courtship works, the moment you pick up the black ring with the big oval emerald and Briar Valley crest, you're practically engaged in his eyes.
The courtship is long, even for Malleus who was one step away at every turn to skip over the entire thing in favor of just eloping. All for the person who decided that the great and terrifying Malleus Draconia was actually just a simple Mr. Hornton, a friend, companion who just wanted someone to stay by his side. If it means calling you his spouse, his fellow ruler, and the only love of his life even a moment sooner, then he'd be willing to throw tradition and ritual out of the very tall tower window just to do so.
Many years later, when you reminiscing how the two of you first met, and how long it took you to notice his feelings, you'll offhandedly mention the random gifts you found at your doorstep. How you wish you knew who was leaving those precious stones and golden amulets with no indication on who the admirer was. Upon further questioning, you'll tell him that you didn't even know you were being courted until two months into the ritual. It'll then click in Malleus's mind how utterly lucky he was that the two of you even got together in the first place.
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It may be surprising, but human-mer relations have been extraordinarily rare. Only a handful of them have popped up since the times of the Sea Princess, who left her home for a human prince. In fact, you could probably count them on one hand! Perhaps this is due to the difficulties of having a romance between land dwellers and undersea folk; after all, it's much easier for humans, fae, and beastmen to interact when they all live on land. Merfolk can come up to the surface, and have been doing moreso in the last century, but having a relationship with someone who quite literally could not breathe in the same air/water as you is near impossible. At least, not without significant effort on one or the other's part.
Nearly all the human-mer romances that have occurred in history resulted in either one or the other abandoning their home to turn into a human/mer and live the rest of their days with their love in their new world. Certainly a romantic notion to be sure, but it most definitely require their love to be truly eternal. Or else you might run the risk of resentment brewing between the two. With a slowly growing need to easy access transformation potions and spells for business and diplomatic reasons, such romance is not far from reach, at least for those with money to spare. The next issue though would be the significant difference between land dweller and undersea folk's courting methods.
Perhaps it can be contributed to the more...feral nature of merfolk. Most of them still retain more animalistic features and behaviors than the average beastman. The twins are no exception to this. Even if you were to remove their claws, mucus covered skin, and 6-ft tail, you're still left with eyes suited for a deep-sea predator, nose that can smell the tiniest drop of blood in a pool, and rows of razor sharp teeth begging to bite down on your neck. The deep-sea is not only cold, but quite ruthless. So, it'll probably come as no surprise that moray eels will prove themselves as suitable partners by fighting either their competitors or you. If they can prove that they can hold their own, protect you from the horrors of the deep, then they have the right to go for your heart. That's not to say softer sentiments don't exist, and while similar the twins are still two separate people with different tastes. These tastes show during courting, though mers have a more casual date-like ritual.
Like fae, merfolk court via gifts, particularly handmade or ones they found themselves, and Floyd is awfully fond if gifting you the strangest things. A tooth that was knocked out from the student who shoved you a little too hard, a rock you tripped over in P.E., or a sand dollar he found on a trip to the beach were a few of the many items he gave you. Jade is similar, though he's more fond of making his own gifts. A necklace made of seashells found at the beach you had your first date in, a terrarium he made from plants that remind him of you, but your favorite was the small garden he started tending to on your kitchen windowsill. Breakfast was particularly delicious when made with his fresh mushrooms. Expect soon after the gifts lots of physical affection, public and private.
Don't be mistaken, they'll still bully you. But each of Floyd's bone-crushing hugs will be accompanied by a soft headbump from his forehead to yours. Jade's teasing, mean remarks will follow with a swift, sweet peck to your knuckles. They'll grab your notebook and hold it above their head until you agree to give them a kiss or punch them in the stomach, both are acceptable responses. Be a little mean back, they like the idea of a sweet and cute little human that can throw a punch. Your their sweet little human, and you make life in the deep exciting. Just don't ask about their flushed face every time they see you yawn, they aren't quite ready to explain that one yet.
Azul intensely studied a variety of topics before coming to land, even briefly glossing over dating, romance, and marriage before deciding he wouldn't need it anytime soon. He regretted that soon after meeting you, though he made do with what he knew. And what he knew as food. A combination of octo-mer courtship and being the son of a cook, Azul will discreetly court you by personally cooking and feeding you your favorite meals. It's the result of the dangers of ancient octo-mers eating their spouses after mating. Afterall you can't eat more if your already full. While not something they have to worry about now, it's an old ritual still used today, Azul has hear the way to a person's heart is their stomach and can wholeheartedly agree.
What's surprised you the most was what followed after, especially for someone as physically reserved as Azul: octo-mers are extremely clingy and affectionate. He doesn't have the heart to do anything more than handholding and chaste kisses to your cheeks in public, but he yearns to wrap all 8 tentacles and two arms around you so tightly that your gasping for a breath that he steals with his lips. He won't mention it, but he can taste the salt from your skin and the pulse from your wrists with his suckers. Take it from someone who grew up with a refined palate, he thinks your taste is equivalent to ambrosia from the gods, though that might be the lovesickness speaking.
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i have a hard time writing savanaclaw for some reason, but imma working on it now! also tagging for all the guys is stressful idk what i should enter, like fullname or just first name idk man!! pls reblog and comment! lmk what you time, xoxo
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saintobio · 7 months
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blank canvas.
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problems arise when your tattoo artist boyfriend starts getting too cozy with the girls that wanted him to do more to their bodies than just inking their skin. the thing is, they knew what he wanted and they knew what you couldn’t give.
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pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader
genre. florist x tattoo artist au, mild angst, opposites attract
tags. nudity, insecure!reader, virgin!reader, dry humping, mentions of needles, mentions of cheating, slutshaming
notes. if you’ve been here for a while, yes this is a repost from an old hq fic :’D i rewrote and remodeled it for sukuna bc i feel like he fits this au!
part 2 | part 3
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Sukuna had seen it all.
He wasn’t dumb and he most definitely wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was attractive, bringing him a clientele of adoring women who would frequently visit his tattoo parlor. Who could blame them? He was handsome, had a good physique, and an overwhelming aura that pulled the attraction of many women, single or not, who were desperate to vie for his attention. His tattoos and his dyed hair even added to the overall bad boy persona that he had which, to be fair, was a girl’s guilty pleasure. 
The women were very assertive, it seemed, to try and lure Sukuna into their little seduction game. Was he getting tempted into it? No. He was loyal and he’d like to stay loyal to his kind and beautiful girlfriend. After all, winning you over wasn’t as easy as it would with any other girl. 
However, there were certain moments that almost tested his loyalty to you, especially when some of the women would ask to have their tattoos done on the most intimate places of their bodies. 
Take yesterday as an example: one girl asked to have a tattoo on her buttocks and she was certainly more satisfied at the feeling of Sukuna’s palms on her bum rather than the actual tattoo she was getting. And to top it all, she bluntly asked if he offered more service rather than just giving tattoos. Crazy. 
He had previously mentioned it to you that as part of his job, he was obligated to give his clients the tattoos they requested, regardless of where on their bodies they wanted them. It was strictly business. Ironically, despite dating a tattoo artist like himself, you had no single trace of inked art on your body. You were an untouched canvas that had never been painted on. Still, Sukuna respected your choice and he surely respected your boundaries even more. 
He knew that you had always been a gentle girl when he first met you at the floral shop across the street. You were always prim and proper, always dressed modestly, always following the rules, and always doing the right thing. All you cared about doing was to express your love through the delicate petals you arranged in your flower-scented haven. You were happy to be in your own little bubble, content in the company of fragrant blossoms and soft-spoken solitude. Introverted. Reserved. Pure. Unassuming. He was the exception to your goody-two-shoes nature, because he ended up winning your heart despite being the complete opposite of you. It wasn’t an easy task, either. Deciding to get to know you was on a whim at first, since he was intrigued about your simple joys in life and how you weren’t the type of girls that would visit his tattoo parlor. Something about your demure nature pulled him in until he realized that there was nothing else he wanted in this world but to make you his. He began by greeting you every morning from across the street, then giving you the same bouquet of flowers he purchased from your shop, followed by sending you texts complimenting how beautiful you looked as he watched you from his store, and finally asking you out on spontaneous dates.
It may be a bit peculiar to see the two of you together, but Sukuna pursued you because liked you. He was undeniably in love with you. He liked your smile, liked how cute and adorable you were, and liked how a simple look at you made him want to be a better man. He loved the idea of being with a girl he could protect. 
The main issue was, Sukuna dropped out of college and just decided to open a tattoo parlor business because he simply didn’t want to waste his years studying for something that he wasn’t passionate about. But that was the source of your parents’ distaste. They told you that you had no future with a guy like him. They said that they would disown you as a daughter if you decided to choose him. They called him dirty, rebellious, and uneducated. 
At that point, he thought that you would leave him after learning his rather reckless choices in life, but you stayed. 
You left your parents' home and stayed with him.
And he was grateful that you did. 
So to ask the question again, would he ever do something to betray you after everything that happened between you two? Of course, not. Not in a million years, no
But then again, he was also just doing his job and it wasn’t like he was purposely flirting with the girls that often flocked him during work hours. He was simply accommodating a client. Nothing more, nothing less. 
And on one of those typical days, he had to work overtime when one of his returning clients asked for her fifth tattoo to be done by him. He just finished picking up the tools he needed as she walked towards the recliner seat asking, “Should I sit here?” 
He nodded once, turning around to face the girl who looked at him with her alluring eyes. “Yeah, just let me know when you’re ready.” 
Oh yes, she was surely ready. She even had a smirk displayed on her face when she slowly unbuttoned her shirt, keeping her gaze at him while teasingly revealing her busty pair. 
He didn’t really pay attention to the size of her tits but instead, just casually pointed to a certain part of her body, “Is this where you want it?” he asked, referring to the lower left part of her breast.
With a very flirtatious grin, she nodded, clearly knowing that her assets were her biggest weapon. “Yes. Would it be easier if I took off my bra, yeah?” 
“You don’t have to. I can work it out,” he casually responded, reaching for his glove and busying himself with all the tool preparations. 
The girl let out a silent giggle along with her best friend who sat on the side, waiting for her turn. Waiting to be the recipient of Sukuna’s full attention. Sigh. 
“No, I can take it off for you,” the girl insisted, unclasping her bra and setting her huge breasts free for him to ogle at. They were perfectly round, probably a 40D, and a light pink shade for her nipples. With how firm they were sitting on her chests, she had probably gotten them done.  
He cleared his throat, averting his eyes as he asked her to sit on the recliner chair. Sukuna had seen women half naked in his shop before, but this was the first time someone willingly got naked in front of him, most especially with other intentions rather than to simply get a tattoo. 
Because of the awkwardness, he went ahead and blasted some heavy metal music to distract his mind. He had to think of something else and not stare at the girl’s luscious tits. He had to shift his mind to somewhere else like, for example, why the girl chose a calligraphy of the words ‘la douleur exquise’ on her skin this time.
“Is this French?” he nonchalantly asked, motioning for her to rest her back while he wiped the chosen area with a damp cotton pad. He specifically avoided brushing his hand on her breast, but it looked like the girl was actually angling herself to make him touch it more. 
“It means exquisite pain,” she purred, batting her thick eyelashes at him. 
His lips formed a smirk, impressed at how much of a skank she was willing to be for him. It wasn’t new, as established before. He’d also had a fair share of women who tried to get into his pants last week, but none of them were successful. He actually found it entertaining to watch them do all sorts of stunts to make him give in. To make him submit himself to his carnal desires. He was a man after all. He had needs, he had to get some form of release, otherwise it could pose a problem in his masculinity. 
All while she was getting her tattoo done, the other girl got up from her seat to walk closer to her best friend. Sukuna decided to refer to them in his head as Slut 1 and Slut 2 because he had no intentions of knowing their names. He knew slut-shaming was terrible, but he never said he was a man of virtue and truthfully, how else could he describe them? 
“Hey, Sukuna,” the other girl called, sitting at an empty stool with a smile. “You’re single, right?” 
He kept his eyes focused on the skin he was inking on. “...No.” 
Even from the corner of his eye, he knew that both girls looked surprised, “No way? You have a girlfriend?” 
Was it really that much of a shock? 
“Yeah, she owns the floral shop across the street,” he mumbled, wiping the trace of blood on the girl’s skin after he finished another letter. 
There was a visible pout on Slut 1’s face as if learning that Sukuna had a girlfriend was more painful than the needle pricking at her skin. “So, what’s she like?” 
Sukuna thought for a while because he didn’t know where to begin. It was too much of a long story for them to hear about. You were everything he wanted in a woman and that was all he knew. “She’s cute and kind.” 
His words earned a giggle from Slut 2. “Is she like the good girl type?” 
“She is.” He figured it would be okay to converse about you like this. Besides, he would rather be talking about you than to have these girls just try to flirt with him relentlessly. 
“How much of a good girl, though?” Slut 1 egged on, “I bet she’s a virgin and a prude.” 
That was obviously none of their business, but damn. They hit a nerve that they shouldn’t have. No one else had managed to bring up a topic like that to him, more so a topic that he himself knew not to cross. His sex life wasn’t as fruitful as anyone thought so, yet not once in his life did he complain. Not once did he talk about it to anyone. Not once did he tell anyone that he had been dating you for a year now and you two never really went further than making out. 
“I respect her,” was his answer, much to the two girls’ dismay.
“That’s kinda boring, though,” the other girl claimed, draping her arm around his shoulder before leaning close to his ear. “You’re still a man and you have needs. If I were her, I’d sleep with you every day. In every position.” 
The girl on the recliner chair grinned. “Totally! Like, you’re so hot and I feel like you’re good in bed.” 
Fuck. 
He almost messed up one of the letters because his mind just flew to somewhere unforgivable. It was a sin to even think about, but shit, he definitely missed the feeling of fucking someone. He couldn’t even remember the last time he did so. 
“Sukuna?” 
He snapped out of his trance and looked up upon hearing the familiar voice, only to find you by the door, your eyes filled with hurt.
“Hey—” 
Your voice was caught in your throat as you avoided his gaze. “I just... I thought you were done.” 
In a swift motion, you hurriedly walked out of the room before dashing out the door. You didn’t even bother to look back, dead set on leaving him alone with the girls. Your footsteps were far too quick to even catch and he was hoping that you would at least slow down. 
“Babe!” he called, unable to chase after you as you shut the door. An exasperated sigh followed. 
This was going to be a big problem 
Just what was he thinking? 
He had a half naked girl in front of him and another girl clinging to him like he didn’t have a girlfriend. It must have hurt you a lot. No, it definitely wrecked you.
“Uh-oh...” the girl mocked. “I can sense trouble” 
He decided to leave it be for now and get his job done as soon as possible, even thinking of banning the two girls from going into his shop just to avoid further trouble. He had a lot of explaining to do and he couldn’t wait to go home to make sure that you would listen to him, not overthink the whole thing and place your assumptions because hurting you was the last thing he would do.
At least, he hoped you knew that.   
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You were washing the dishes when Sukuna came home and the first thing he did was to wrap his arms around you. He had your waist caged in his tight embrace, his chin resting on your shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings to you. To be real, you weren’t in the mood to see his face after what you saw this afternoon. You get it—he was exposed to all sorts of people with his line of work and most of them probably couldn’t just ignore his physical appearance. You were aware that some girls were only getting a tattoo to get close to him. Heck, you were aware that they all wanted to be with him.
But the only reason you were hurt wasn’t because he was desired by women, but because those very same women were all better than you in more ways than one. They fit his type more than you did and you were sure that they could give him exactly what he wanted. 
Still, it awfully tugged at your heartstrings. 
He was yours, not theirs. You had the right to be jealous when a girl was getting cozy with your man, but to see him letting them have their way? That was a different story. 
“Baby, talk to me,” he mumbled, planting a soft, apologetic kiss on your neck. 
You gave him the silent treatment as you walked away and dried your hands with a towel. What else would you say? He should already be aware of why you were acting that way. He should be the one to try and talk to you, not the other way around. And with your stubborn mind, you did your best to keep your insouciance, pulling his tattooed arms off of you and heading towards the couch. 
You could hear his sigh as he followed you, but you were determined to keep your eyes glued on the TV screen. If he wanted to talk, he should do the talking, you reminded yourself over and over. 
“You’re really pissed at me, huh,” he spoke as soon as he sat next to you, a hand carefully placed on your thigh. “I’m sorry.” 
“They’re pretty hot, aren’t they?” The bitter question left your mouth before you thought of holding back. 
He scooted closer and hooked an arm around your shoulder this time. “Definitely nowhere near as hot as my girlfriend.” 
What a load of… You rolled your eyes, remembering how the girls looked and how comfortable he was with them. “Yeah, right.” 
You couldn’t explain the tightness on your chest every time you recalled the scene earlier because you knew, you just knew, that there was more that could have happened if you didn’t check on him. You saw it in his eyes, even for a split second, that he almost gave in to temptation. How could he not? You were a prude just as they described—just because you didn’t have any sexual experience like they did. Perhaps when they called you boring, they were right and Sukuna wanted to agree. 
He couldn’t be stuck with a girlfriend that he couldn’t even have sex with, could he? 
“I shouldn’t have let them put their hands on me like that,” he admitted, showing his dire attempt to look apologetic. “Only you can.” 
You took a deep breath and shook your head. “I don’t even know why you’re still with me, Sukuna. I put so many boundaries between us. Don’t you get tired of me?” 
“Fuck no,” he quickly answered, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Never. You’re the only one for me.” 
Truth be told, you did feel bad that he couldn’t fully experience you as a girlfriend, but he had been very patient and respectful towards you. He never crossed the line and never forced you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He said he was doing that because you never gave up on him even when you had the choice to. He said that you were worth waiting for. He said that he was satisfied with what you two already had.
Maybe you could let this one incident go, after all, he was never really a bad boyfriend to you. Sure, he looked like a bad boy, but when it came to you, he was surprisingly soft. 
“Okay,” you muttered, sighing in defeat and finally meeting his eyes. “Just don’t do it again. I don’t care if they get naked in front of you. Please set some boundaries and don’t entertain them too much or you’ll give off the wrong impression.” 
Your leniency earned a smile from him, delighted to earn your trust again so he made an effort to peck your lips. “Yes, ma’am.” 
“You’re annoying.” 
“You love me.” 
“I do,” you professed, placing a hand on his cheek, “so much.” 
Pleased with your words, he leaned in again to give you a much, much deeper kiss. He knew it was all he could do with you, but he wanted to make you feel that his kisses were satisfying enough for the both of you. Just with the way he moved his lips against yours and how your tongue rolled around his—it was almost impossible to breathe at one point, but he softened the kiss to allow yourself to catch some air. 
Gosh, you were jealous again. You were becoming annoyed as your mind ran at full speed, thinking of how those girls thought they could put their hands on your man. You were livid at how they tried to steal him from you. 
“You’re mine, right?” you asked for reassurance, pulling away to look at his dominating eyes. 
The smirk on his lips was replaced by a cheeky grin. “All yours, darling.” 
You didn’t know what gave you the sudden confidence to straddle his lap after he said that, but it just felt right. You wanted more of his physical affection and felt like you couldn’t get enough. Both of you were taken aback, obviously, because this wasn’t something you would normally do, and so the heat on your cheeks was mixing with the surprised look on his face. You were sitting directly on his crotch and he was having a hard time to control himself. 
“Babe,” he breathed on your neck. “You don’t have to force yourself.” 
He was right, but the thought of the other girls constantly seducing him behind your back just gave way to your deepest insecurities. You didn’t have the most perfect body in the world and you most definitely didn’t have the skills in bed that he expected—you were scared that you might lose him because of these facts. Or that he would find someone better, even at the cost of having them on the side. 
“Hey,” he spoke again, making you look at his eyes as you relaxed into his touch. “It’s fine. If you want it, I can be gentle. We can go slow.” 
“I-I don’t know... I just,” you hesitated, not knowing exactly how to put it into words. 
You didn’t know why sex intimidated you. It should be as easy as 1-2-3,  just him putting his member inside you, right? But you weren’t really scared of doing the act itself, you were scared that once you did it, he would leave you because he already got what he wanted. Losing it to the wrong person sounds like a nightmare and that was why you were having trouble coming into terms of losing your virginity before marriage. 
You could feel the hardness on his crotch pressing against your core and you didn’t expect a moan escaping your lips when you moved at the slightest. The fabric of your shorts were thin enough for you to feel the outline of his hardened member, displaying a prominent bulge on his sweatpants. You haven’t seen how big he was, but you could tell just by looking at his bulge that he was huge. Could you even take that? 
He held your waist and guided you to move again, this time urging you to move your hips back and forth, allowing you to feel the friction from his hard erection. Lust was clouding his eyes and it made you feel weak. 
“How does it feel?” he asked, his hot breath tickling your ear. 
You continued grinding on him with your lips parted, releasing your silent moans, “G-Good.”
He leaned forward to kiss your neck, eventually sucking the soft skin to leave his beautiful marks. “I wanna eat you down there, baby,” he growls under his breath, squeezing your right breast, “You’re gonna taste so good, I bet.” 
“Suku—” you whined, gripping his hair while he started matching your movements with his own. It was a foreign feeling for you to feel his bulge rubbing against your untouched core. 
“Fuck,” he cussed in a low voice, squeezing your ass with his huge hands in growing excitement. “Let me get a condom.” 
This was it. 
It was happening. 
Or was it?
Your eyes widened in panic as you pushed him back onto the couch. It was as though all of your senses were awakened and your body was telling you that you shouldn’t be doing all this. “N-No, I... I’m not ready.” 
You didn’t mean to always chicken out when you two were almost about to do it. You just didn’t feel confident enough to give yourself yet and even if you badly wanted to, you just couldn’t make yourself do it.
You could see the hint of disappointment on his face and he was trying to hide it. 
“Right,” he exhaled deeply with his head thrown back on the headrest. “It’s alright. Maybe next time,” he convinced himself. 
“I’m sorry,” you softly mumbled, hand gripping on his shirt. 
He gave you a quick peck on the lips before pulling you out of his lap and getting up from the couch. “Yeah, yeah. It’s fine.” 
You stayed seated as you watched him walk away. “Where are you going?” 
“I have to finish this off on my own,” he answered without looking back. You realized he was referring to the act of touching himself because you just couldn’t do the job for him. It was obvious how frustrated he was and for goodness sake, you did feel guilty, but then again, he didn’t act like this before. When you told him you didn’t want to do it further, he would simply laugh it off and say he would wait for you. 
This wasn’t the same Sukuna that said that. 
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You became a little paranoid. 
Considering that girls would still pay your boyfriend a visit at the tattoo parlor, you always ended up overthinking about what he was doing while you were supposed to be busy at the floral shop. In the middle of arranging a bouquet of beautiful peonies, your mind was on haywire. You just didn’t feel at ease. You felt like anyone could easily snatch him away from you because you weren’t particularly a striking girl to begin with. You were leaning on the simple, conservative side rather than the rebellious, liberated women that swarmed his shop in hopes of sleeping with him. 
Because your thoughts were eating you alive, you decided to head to his tattoo parlor after closing the shop to make sure that he wasn’t doing any funny business. 
And you were somehow right. 
About three girls were in there this time, two of which you had already seen a couple of days ago, and they were already leaving the parlor just as you arrived. 
“You’re really amazing, Sukuna,” one of the girls told him in gratitude, “I might get another one soon.” 
You watched them walk past you with a smug expression on their faces as they left the shop. Sukuna had then seen you standing by the door with your arms crossed. 
“Really?” you questioned, walking inside with a frown. “They’re here again?” 
He sighed and walked back to his station while cleaning the mess from the tattoo session. He wasn’t even trying to win you over anymore. “I can’t just ask them not to come anymore. They’re still clients.”
“Let me guess,” you continued, “Did one of them get naked in front of you again? Did you let them put their hands all over you again? Did you perhaps forget that you had a girlfriend again?” 
His brows, now furrowed in annoyance and his mouth, thinning in displeasure. “No. We talked about this.” 
You held your breath, raising a brow in return. “I’m starting to think you’re doing more for them than just giving them tattoos.” 
“Like, what? Sell my body?” His question was clearly a taunt. A spasm of irritation crossed his face, but he still managed to display a mocking smile. “Is that what you’re suggesting, angel?”
“That’s not what I—”
“Then, what?” 
“You know what I mean,” you replied, trying to get your point across while keeping your composure. “You’re an attractive man and they’re the type of women you would willingly sleep with.” 
“Jesus. You’re so insecure, it’s crazy,” he retorted, rolling his eyes at you. 
Insecure? You couldn’t believe, just couldn’t believe he called you insecure. The air crackled with tension as your jaw tightened, muscles twitching with every suppressed urge to lash out.
“I wonder why!” Your voice rose hysterically. “If you weren’t busy flirting with those girls, maybe I won’t be so insecure.” 
“I said I’m not flirting with them!” he argued, slamming his gloves on the floor. His face contorted into a mask of rage and he looked at you with frustration that you had never seen before. It hurt. It certainly hurt. He had been acting distant since the night you didn’t give in to him and you knew that his exasperation towards you was rooting from that. 
Your breathing became unsteady. “But you know you’d sleep with them if given the chance. Since I couldn’t do it with you.” 
“Then, just fucking do it with me instead of bitching about it every day!” he snapped, voice thick with insinuation. “I don’t wanna be stuck acting like I give two shits about your interest in flowers and whatever nonsense you like to talk about. I wanna be with someone I can have sex with, not sit on the couch all day with a boring person like you!” 
His hurtful words left you frozen like a statue, unable to move while being dominated by the shooting pain inside your chest. 
You knew this day would come—that he would eventually get tired of waiting around for something that he could easily get from others. However, what hurt you most was the fact you believed he wasn’t that type of guy. That he wasn’t with you solely for what you could give, but rather, for what you just had. You thought he sincerely understood your boundaries and respected your choices the very same way you respected his, but it seemed that he had another thought in his head all along. 
After seeing the look on your face, Sukuna had softened his gaze and walked closer to you in reproach to his words and actions, “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean that.” 
A tear fell from your eye as you looked at him with both anger and pain building inside of you. Your eyes glistened with unshed tears. “You wanna have sex? Is that what you want?” Your voice cracked in the middle of your sentence. “You wanna do it so bad, let’s fucking do it, then!” 
Your fingers forced their way to spitefully unbutton your blouse despite his desperate efforts to stop you. You must be going crazy. But also, he drove you to this point. 
“Baby, no,” he said in remorse, grabbing your wrists tightly. “No, I’m sorry. I’m content with you. I really am, I’m sorry. Please.” 
Your chest heaved as you cried, unable to stop your emotions from exposing all of your vulnerabilities. “It’s obviously not enough for you.” Your voice quivered, each word a fragile whisper trembling with the weight of unspoken sadness as you sniffled and wiped your eyes. “You knew what kinda girl I am when you dated me.”
He pulled you for a hug and kissed your temple way too many times that you lost count. He felt absolutely sorry for ever hurting you with his words, but they just hit you so painfully to the point that your gaze grew distant and your face was clouded with resignation. 
“I know what kinda girl you are and I’m in love with you for it,” he reaffirmed, as if trying to get it through your head but his words were beginning to feel empty. “Please, believe me. I really didn’t mean what I said. You’re enough for me, baby. You’re all I want.” 
You didn’t feel comfort from his words, but you still returned his embrace because you loved him. Because you knew, even if he said more hurtful words, that you would still love him. Sure, you would be angry, but your love for him ruled higher than your pride. 
You were just scared of losing him over something like this. 
“I love you so much,” he whispered in your ear before placing a soft, apologetic kiss on your lips. 
When he pulled away, your heart still felt heavy, but you managed to conceal your face with an agonizing smile. 
“I love you, too.” 
He ran his thumb across your cheek and held your waist on his other hand. You just couldn’t get his words out of your head even after he apologized, because you never knew he was seeing your relationship that way all along. 
The girls were right. He was a man after all and he had needs. 
The fact that he was staying with you despite not fulfilling his needs must be a work of charity for him, and eventually, he would get sick of waiting around. He would desire you less and less the more the days passed by and it wasn’t absolutely crazy to think that he could potentially meet another girl he liked that was willing to give it all. 
The mere thought of it scared you. 
“I’ll do it with you tonight,” you offered, your voice breaking, hoping that you could finally break the barrier and be enough for him. 
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jewishvitya · 2 months
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I remembered this essay from years ago when I was unlearning what I knew of Israel and zionism and I couldn't find it again, and now I see it in a Shaun video, with the source.
Ze'ev Jabotinsky, "The Iron Wall." I downloaded it from the Jabotinsky Institute.
These are the titles he gave this essay:
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I said that Zionist leaders explicitly talked about Zionism as a colonialist movement. This is an example of what I was talking about.
Some quotes:
There can be no voluntary agreement between ourselves and the Palestine Arabs. Not now, nor in the prospective future. I say this with such conviction, not because I want to hurt the moderate Zionists. I do not believe that they will be hurt. Except for those who were born blind, they realised long ago that it is utterly impossible to obtain the voluntary consent of the Palestine Arabs for converting "Palestine" from an Arab country into a country with a Jewish majority.
My readers have a general idea of the history of colonisation in other countries. I suggest that they consider all the precedents with which they are acquainted, and see whether there is one solitary instance of any colonisation being carried on with the consent of the native population. There is no such precedent.
He's saying openly: no land was colonized with the consent of its indigenous population. So we have to do it without that consent.
Every native population in the world resists colonists as long as it has the slightest hope of being able to rid itself of the danger of being colonised.
That is what the Arabs in Palestine are doing, and what they will persist in doing as long as there remains a solitary spark of hope that they will be able to prevent the transformation of "Palestine" into the "Land of Israel."
He said that any zionist who depends on the Arab population accepting a Jewish state on their lands, might as well withdraw from zionism because that's impossible.
Zionist colonisation must either stop, or else proceed regardless of the native population. Which means that it can proceed and develop only under the protection of a power that is independent of the native population – behind an iron wall, which the native population cannot breach.
And then he says that this Iron Wall is the British Mandate and the Balfour Declaration - they're the power that stops Palestinians from resisting us.
He says that despite this, zionism is moral and just, so justice must be done, zionism must move forward. He just wants to be honest about what it takes. He wants to discourage talks of an agreement to avoid signaling to the British that they must try to reach one between us and Palestinians. Just stop them from fighting us, we'll colonize the place.
Zionism was openly colonialist until this language was no longer politically useful.
Editing because I was kinda shocked by the response this got, in several moments. When the slavery of US founders was brought up to dismiss this whole thing. When First Nations reservations were brought up on the same list as the United States as equivalent to Israel, because I said I oppose the existence of a country that prioritizes one ethnic group at the expense of others, and I support democracy that protects everyone equally.
But another thing that's still nagging at me is the idea that this whole essay can be dismissed based on semantic arguments, like sure this uses the word colonialism, but is it actually the colonialism that we talk about and oppose? And what if this word is only used to appeal to the British for support?
This isn't the the first time that prominent zionist thinkers talk about zionism as a colonialist movement. I saw it in old publications, things like magazines, I'd be posting them too if I found them again. I did my own deconstructing years ago, I don't remember where I found all my sources.
I do remember that they talked about the two concepts together - the idea that we're here to colonize, and that we're here to come home. So nowadays there's the arguement that people can't colonize their own homeland, but to them there was no contradiction. I saw it again looking at Herzl's diary last night.
I say I define colonialism through actions and tactics, through the harm that's done to the victims of colonization. Because if we knowingly repeated the actions of colonizers and used the help of an imperial force to conquer a land, having a historic connection to it shouldn't absolve us.
Jabotinsky didn't write to the British in this essay. He wrote to other zionists who wanted to aim for something more collaborative with Palestinian Arabs. And it's true that word choice can mean different things in the context of the time, but there's a reason I chose those quotes. What is he actually saying in this essay?
Consider colonization throughout history - the native population never agreed, so we must do the as colonizers did in the past.
Palestinians will never agree to a Jewish state - so we must do it by force. We should use an imperial force as an "iron wall" to prevent them from resisting. Stop talking about an agreement because then the British will try to reach one instead of holding them back and letting us do our thing.
He's comparing the zionist movement to other efforts of colonization, to talk about emulating them.
This isn't a game of semantics. I'm not just bringing this up just because he used the words.
What he's describing - conquest by force, preventing a Palestinian state, forcibly creating a Jewish majority - is what happened. And it's still what's happening.
This is the branch of zionism that went into practice and founded Israel.
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tinfairies · 8 months
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Bounty Girl
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Koby x Female!Pirate!Reader
Summary: You're an infamous pirate with a hefty bounty on your head. The marines have caught you once again, Koby is tasked with guarding you.
Word Count: 4k
Part two
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"A pirate with a 100 Million berry bounty. I didn't think you'd be easy to catch, but I certainly didn't expect the impressive fight." Vice Admiral Garp spoke with a light amusement in his voice. A cadet with pink hair stood by his side, eyes wide as he took in your appearance. Poor thing hasn't seen many pirates, if any, you assume.
The Vice Admiral turns to the cadet, shaking him from his trance.
"Koby, you take the first security shift, you have the cell keys, and the alarm if they break free."
Without another word the Admiral exits the room, leaving you and the nervous cadet alone. It's silent for a few moments, Koby stands dutifully by the desk.
"So, Koby. What are you doing after this?" You joke with a smirk, making sure to annunciate his name, and lean against the cell bars.
Koby's face hardens at your jest. "I have no desire for small talk with pirates." He says, crossing his arms over his chest.
The Vice Admiral had spoken highly of Koby in his reports of your capture. However, Koby was clearly bitter about the assignment he had been given, regardless of the bounty on your head.
You give Koby a fake pout, "I'm just trying to make conversation, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?" You wrap your hands around the cool metal of the bars and press your forehead against them. You stare Koby down from his place across the room, making him shift under your gaze.
"No pirate is worth conversing with." He says coldly, his eyes locking to yours. His confidence wavers and his gaze moves to study the floor.
As you stare him down, you notice his fingers twitching. Your presence has clearly riled Koby, and you get the sense that the Vice Admiral had a reason for choosing him to oversee your capture.
You lick your lips and watch Koby's fingers drum lightly against his thigh. You look him up and down once more, deciding he'd be a fun play toy.
"Is this not how you expected things to go? You seem pretty pissed that you're down in the cell blocks like some rookie and not with your Admiral making plans for my execution." You tease, trying to get under his skin.
You push at the edges of Koby's composure, his eyes narrowing as he suppresses the flash of anger in his expression.
As you continue to goad him, his right foot begins to tap in cadence with the trembling of his fingers. The longer you push at Koby, the more you can see him struggling to maintain his cool demeanor. You smile at this.
"Unless that's all you are to him. A rookie that he uses for the boring, miniscule work he doesn't want to deal with." You walk to the other side of the cell, closer to Koby, and lean against the bars once more.
"I think that's it, every boss has that one employee they use. Make them think they're important, just so they don't complain about the work."
"I have done more in this past year than you have in your entire life." Koby says, his tone turning sharp. The mask has fallen, and Koby has lost whatever reservations he had about speaking candidly with you.
"The Vice Admiral didn't have to assign me to oversee your capture, but it suits my career goals. That being said, I'm not wasting my time chatting with you." He says, turning his back on you.
At this point, it's clear that Koby has little interest in entertaining you. The two of you stand in silence for a few moments.
You chuckle at his outburst in amusement. "Oh you really don't like pirates do you? Is it a childish prejudice, or did a pirate hurt you? Come on, you tell me." Your eyes burn into his back, but Koby ignores your continued taunts.
Silence fills the cell as he struggles to control his emotions. His hand curls into a fist, then falls open just as quickly. Koby's shoulders remain tense as he takes a deep breath.
As he regains his composure, you get the sense that he is still in a state of extreme tension. He seems ready to lash out again at the slightest provocation.
"Don't wanna tell me? That's okay, but just know that I'd never hurt you. Not unless you want me to, that is." You continue your teasing, trying to get him to come close to the cell.
Koby slowly spins in your direction. He eyes you menacingly, but he remains where he stands, out of reach from inside the cell. The tension in his shoulders seems to fade slightly at your continued attempts at flirting.
"You wouldn't hurt me, huh?" He asks. His face gives away no emotion, but he is clearly intrigued.
The smile on your face widens, happy that you've finally gotten his interest. "No, how could anyone hurt someone with a face like yours?"
Your continued flattery finally breaks through to Koby. His facial expression breaks for a moment, as he is caught off guard by your comment.
The tension that he was holding evaporates, as his shoulders drop. He looks away from you, as if not wanting you to notice how much your flirtation affected him.
"How could someone with a face like yours be a pirate?" He mumbles, returning the compliment in kind. His gaze shifts back to you, meeting your eyes for the first time since he arrived.
"Are you calling me pretty, cadet?" You feign a blush, though you can't deny the butterflies in your stomach. Your eyes lock with his, and you can finally see just how gorgeous they are; Made even bigger by his glasses, you could easily get lost in the blue.
Koby smiles nervously as you flirt back at him. The butterflies in his own stomach become a maelstrom of activity as you take in his striking eyes. He knows it's wrong, but he's enjoying the tension of your flirtation.
"Am I?" He asks, he lets out a trembling chuckle, realizing the weight of what he's partaking in.
"You never answered my question. What are you doing once you're off duty for the night?" You look him up and down again, trying not to let him notice that you're eyeing the cell keys on his belt loop.
"I'm meeting with Vice Admiral Garp. There's an event on a nearby island that requires his attention and he wants me to be there." Koby says, turning away from you, a slight blush creeping the back of his neck.
He remains oblivious to your continued glances at the keyring. His uniform looks crisp and well-maintained, however, and he seems the type of person who keeps a tight grip on everything he owns, including the keys to your cell.
"Oh? Is it a fancy event, or just a room with stuffy old marines complaining about their jobs and reminiscing about the old days." You walk to the corner of the cell, getting a better look at Koby.
"More of the latter, unfortunately." Koby says, turning back to look at you. The corner of his mouth curls in an endearing small smile.
As he turns back to you, you hear the faint jangling of the keys. He quickly and subtly covers them with the hem of his jacket as you shift and press your body to the bars.
You look down as he covers the keys. "Have you always been Garp's lap dog, or is that a new position you've taken up?" You begin to tease him again, hoping to get him closer and closer to the cell
Koby narrows his eyes at your dig. "The Vice Admiral has put in a good word for me with Admiral Sengoku." He replies flatly, not willing to rise to your continued taunting.
Koby opens his mouth to speak again before you get the chance. "If I may ask, what's with the flirtatious facade? I thought you pirates had no time for that sort of thing."
As you continue to tease him with your smile, he slowly begins to back away from your cell.
"No time for romance, but that doesn't mean we don't bring people into our beds. You'd look so pretty laid out on my bed." You smirk even wider, your words may be manipulative but they're true. Your stomach flutters at the image of him naked beneath you.
Your compliment draws a flush to Koby's face as he steps further back. Your words have cut through his barriers, and he doesn't seem to know how to respond.
"I can't imagine a pirate like you has much need for romance." He says, his voice slightly quieter than before.
His eyes flit to the cell keys hanging from his hip, but then quickly shift back to you.
"I like romance though, I just haven't found anyone I actually want to put that effort into." You tilt your head, studying Koby further. Your confession causes a flash of disappointment on his face.
"Well, until tonight that is." You glance at the keys, then back to his face. His face has a pink tint and his eyes are wide, he looks absolutely gorgeous. Your stomach turns slightly and your cheeks warm up. The plan wasn't to catch feelings for the cadet, but that's starting to change.
Koby remains silent, mulling over your declaration of interest. The tension in the air between you both is thick, the silence punctuated by your steady heartbeat. Your eyes remain on him, your heart fluttering in your chest.
Koby's eyes shift to the keys hanging from his belt, and you sense the moment of weakness in him. His breath becomes more rapid, and his eyes dart back to your face.
His words are barely a whisper as he asks "Can I trust you?"
"I'm a pirate, that's up to you. I won't hurt you though, in fact I might make you feel really good if you'd let me." A devilish glint flashes in your eyes as you anticipate his weakness
Koby's eyes lock with yours, and he seems to weigh your words. His lips begin to form a small smile as he considers your offer.
"I know you won't hurt me." He says, his voice a whisper.
He holds your gaze for a moment longer, and then quickly reaches for the keys on his belt. His hands visibly shake as he turns the lock, you can see the smile creep back onto his lips as his eyes flicker with anticipation.
You pull the cell door open, and quickly grab him by his uniform tie. His breath catches in his throat as you pull him into your embrace, holding his tie in a vice-grip. The tension of the moment threatens to overflow, your lips mere inches apart. You can feel his nervous breathing and you smile as you await his next move.
Koby's breath is labored as he leans forward, his lips parting as he prepares to meet your own. His eyes are lost in yours, and he seems intent on forgetting his position as a marine and instead meets you as a man.
You press your lips to his, he's warm and soft, unlike any man I've kissed before. You place one of your hands on his jaw as the other releases his tie and settles on his chest. He tastes like mint, and smells of bamboo. Once again, unlike any man you've been with. You can feel his heart hammering in his chest, and you hope your own heartbeat isn't noticeable.
Koby's lips mingle with yours in a slow dance, his breath coming in short bursts as he adjusts to the feeling of the kiss. It's a completely foreign feeling for him, but he loves it. His hands settle around you, gripping the fabric of your shirt. The muscles in his arms clench, as he nervously rests his hands on your waist.
As your fingers explore his chest, you can feel his heartbeat pounding against your palms. Koby seems lost in both the feeling and the passion of the moment, his eyes closed tight as he continues to embrace you.
You begin to push him back, slowly moving until his lower back bumps the desk behind him. You pull away from the kiss and look down at him, his glasses are fogged and slightly crooked. Koby's eyes open as you move away, taking in his surroundings. He seems as though he's disappointed with the reality of the situation. You giggle and reach up to fix his glasses, pushing them back up the bridge of his nose, giving him a clear view of you. He is frozen, his breathing still heavy, as he takes you in. You're chest is pressed to his and he can feel your beat against his own.
He glances down your shirt, completely entranced, and you chuckle lightly at his boyish stare. He is broken from his trance by your laughter, as he chuckles nervously alongside you. His face is flushed with redness.
"Have you ever kissed anyone before, cadet?" You trace your nail along the edge of his rank patch, using his formal title to tease him. He's so cute and innocent. You open your mouth to let your thoughts flow "I'm just thinking of all the ways I could ruin you."
"Of course I've kissed someone." He replies, clearly lying. As you stroke your finger along his chest, he shivers in response to your touch.
You watch as Koby's brain short circuits while he struggles to maintain his composure in your presence, his face glowing like a sunset.
"And just as an FYI, I'm not that green." He says defensively, his face reddening even further. He turns away from you, trying to regain some control of the conversation.
"You can't ruin me. What do you even mean by that anyway?" He asks, his curiosity getting the better of him as he looks at you again.
"Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean by that." You slide your hands lower, gripping his hips and pushing him harder against the desk. He's completely trapped by your body and you press your hips into his. A wave of shock runs through your body as you feel, or rather don't feel, what you expected.
Your grip on his hips sends a flush of arousal through him as your hands caress his body. He inhales sharply as you push yourself into him, sliding your hands back up his chest. His face goes from red to deep crimson, as the rush of blood fills his cheeks. He struggles to maintain his composure, his jaw clenching in a vain attempt to suppress his libido.
"I don't know what you mean." He finally says breathes out, but the flustered inflection of his voice belies the truth he knows inside.
"Did the person you kissed before make you feel this way? Did she make you feel this good, or are you going to lie to me again?" You whisper against his jaw, rubbing your hips harder. You narrow your eyes a bit as you study the feeling of his arousal. Your whisper has a soothing quality to it, but it also brings a wave of emotion as the moment builds between you both. The look in Koby's eyes shows that you've struck a chord within him.
He's not disinterested, there's no way his cock wouldn't be at least a little hard. Unless he doesn't...
Oh– Oh.
He shakes his head, his answer finally coming out in a rush. "No. I- No one has ever made me feel like this. O-Or kissed me." He looks down at your hands as he lets the truth spill out, his breath catching in his throat when he feels your hips grind against his sweet spot.
You kiss him again, licking at his lips, begging to be let in. He gladly parts his lips, you delve your tongue into his mouth. This drives Koby wild, and he groans quietly against you. He uses your waist to pull you in further, his legs trembling ever so slightly.
You moan against him and move your hands back up to his chest, curiously searching for the feeling of a binder. You whimper as your expectations are shifted and you feel the faint outline of what you can only assume are surgery scars. Jagged and poorly done, from what you can feel. You pull back once again, and look into his eyes. "You're such a pretty boy, you know that?"
You catch your reflection in his eyes, he looks as though he's on the verge of tears. Koby looks over your face in return, taking in your hair, your eyes, and your lips. His gaze seems almost too close, as if he is attempting to analyze every detail of you.
He blinks rapidly, shaking his head. "T-Thank you." He stammers. "But that's all I can give you." The words come out as if he is fighting them. "Please stop this."
Disappointment swells in your heart, you hide your pout and pull away from him, taking a few steps back. He begins to straighten his uniform, not daring to meet your gaze.
"If I wasn't a pirate would I have a chance at having you all to myself?" I barely glance up at him before staring at the door.
The look of disappointment breaks through the facade of Koby's emotions. His eyes are drawn back to you, his expression one of sadness.
"I'm a Marine. You are a pirate. This could never work." He says that, but you know his words have a different meaning.
"I'm not a real man, you wouldn't like me if you knew" are the true words that echo in his head.
He's trying to sound firm, but your shared moment has eroded his walls. He continues to stare at you, a faint blush still creeping across his face.
"Then I guess we'll just be a game of cat and mouse for each other." I push Koby further back against the desk then make a break for the door, striding across the room.
Your words sting, and his heart is telling him one thing, but his duty is telling him another. His lips press into a frown, as the conflict plays out internally.
As you rush for the door, Koby quickly follows after and grabs your wrist, pulling you back with surprising strength. Your movement is halted in an instant, and you feel no give in his grip. Even though you stand taller in height, you are no match for his strength.
"Where do you think you're going?" He asks, his eyes hard with resolve.
"Sorry cadet, but I have date with The Grand Line I really can't miss." You try to twist out of his grasp, trying to break free, but to no avail. He grips your wrist with unrelenting determination.
"You know that I can't let you escape," he says, his words clipped and his face neutral. The words are not empty or contrived, he truly wants to keep you here. He can see something in you that he is attracted to, and it is pulling at his heart.
"If I stay, they'll execute me at the next marine port this ship docks at. Is that what you really want?" You ask, fear seeping into your voice knowing the weight of its truth. You don't know Koby, and he doesn't know you. Though, from what you can tell, he wouldn't like for anyone to be executed, not even a pirate.
Koby looks down at your wrist in his grasp, and his resolve falters. He looks up at you, his mouth moving as if to speak before it closes again. The guilt on his face is palpable, and the conflicting feelings play out on his face. He knows that he wants you to stay, but he also knows that he has the responsibility of handing you over to justice. He doesn't have an answer for the moment, as he stands frozen.
You feel his grip begin to loosen ever so slightly, you take the opportunity to pull your hand free from his grasp and begin to make your way to the door again.
"There's no way anyone will be able to convince the Vice Admiral not to kill me, the crimes I've committed are beyond life in prison for a civilian, let alone a pirate." You speak flatly, you're not ashamed of what you've done. Being a liar, a killer and a thief is just part of the job description.
"W-Wait." He exclaims suddenly. His words fill you both with surprise, and you pause to turn back and look at him.
"The Vice Admiral is a good man. He understands that you are more than your crimes. We can work something out. Please, just… I can't let you leave."
You can see the hope in his eyes, as he is begging for you to stay. You know that you can't get much further with him standing guard over you, but your own curiosity has kept you here thus far. You need to break the sudden infatuation you have for each other. Your mind is filled with ridiculous notions that you could get you killed if you pursue them.
"Do you think that if I stay, we'll be able to have something together? Some wild fantasy where you can kiss me every night and call me your girlfriend? Koby. I'm a pirate, a criminal, the very thing that the marines swear to eliminate." Your words are sharp and Koby feels like a child being scolded. He feels stupid for letting a fantasy take control of his mind so quickly. He just met you, in a jail cell of all places.
"I... I don't know." He replies, his words weak as he struggles to form a response. His gaze shifts to the door, and then back to your face.
His voice wavers as he speaks "You're right, there's no way we can be together. Not while I'm a Marine, and you're a pirate."
His eyes search yours for something, anything he can use to keep you in this room. He doesn't want you to run, but he also doesn't want you dead. As he stares at your face, his eyes move back to the door.
You turn from him again and pull the door open, slipping out into the hall, leaving Koby alone in the cell block.
"If I escape, there's a chance I can meet with him later. Perhaps even kiss him under different circumstances." Your thoughts ramble as you sneak through the lower decks, the emergency alarm cuts through your thoughts.
"Damn, I knew he wouldn't let me leave without a trace."
You can already hear marine voices nearby, racing to the security room to find the cause of the emergency. You can barely take in the path of escape in front of you, your mind running wild as it takes in the chaos of the situation.
It's not until the voice of your beloved cadet pierces the air that you take in that your escape can't be as simple as you had thought.
"Escaped prisoner on the lower starboard deck! In pursuit!" He bellows, his voice filled with determination.
You smile at his loyalty to the marines, but you have to leave before they get any closer to Loguetown. You sprint up the steps and push through the doors to the upper deck. The marines there are rushing to prepare for a battle. It appears that Koby is not the one that sounded the emergency alarm. There, out in the water is a pirate ship. Your pirate ship, it seems your crew has come to rescue you.
The voices of the marines follow behind you as they man their stations. You are the least concern for them right now, and stare out at your large ship barreling towards the marine vessel. Your crewmates are waiting for you, with eyes shining and weapons at the ready.
This is almost routine, many times you've been captured, and many times you've escaped. You'd started to get tired of it, but when you saw that young cadet by the Vice Admirals side, you figured you could play cat and mouse a bit longer.
You rush to the edge of the ship's railing, slipping your shoes off in preparation to jump into the water. If you can swim to your ship, you'd be able to guide your crew away from the marines with little to no fighting. You won't dare sink the marine ship, you won't risk Koby like that. You want to see him again, under very different circumstances that is.
As you approach the edge of the railing, you hear a voice calling out to you from behind.
"Stop her!"
It's Koby, and he is determined to stop you from escaping. You can see the desperation in his eyes as he races for the railing, his arms outstretched in the hope that he can catch you before you can escape.
Your feet dangle above the water, as you look from him to your ship.
"I'll be waiting for you at the next port you stop in! Trust me, you can't get rid of me now, not even if you wanted to!" With that, you jump into the water. As you swim the choppy waters to your ship, you hear the marines making a commotion. They fire cannons at your ship, and your own crew fires back.
You kick out at the surface of the water, your feet propelling you forward in a quick effort to make it to the pulley rope on the stern of your ship
Finally, you break the surface of the water and emerge before your shipmates, who quickly drag your soaked body onto the deck. You laugh as you look out on the ocean, watching the marines fail to catch your ship as it disappears out of their sight.
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veenxys · 8 months
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「Gentlemanly gestures BNHA Boys would do for you」
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⤷ Bakugou
he always opens the doors for you: sometimes you are walking hand in hand or arms intertwined and it always leaves you a little confused when he leaves he takes his hand from yours only to walk a little faster towards the door and open it for you. you. he also always gets out of the car first just to open your door. it's become such a common habit for him that he only realizes what he's doing when you thank him or tease him about it. he smiles nonchalant, but with a warm heart.
⤷ Deku he always walks outside on the sidewalk: it's a way of protecting you that he does without even thinking. he likes to wrap his arm around your shoulder or waist, always pulling you close. he is also careful with puddles or anything that could get your clothes dirty; he cares about you so much that he would do anything just to protect you.
⤷ Kirishima he always carries the umbrella for you and always takes you home, no matter what; he loves walking with you and loves taking you home, both to ensure your safety and because he wants to spend more time with you. and, whenever it's raining, he takes great care so that you don't get wet or dirty; then he pulls you close and you intertwine your arm with his as he holds the umbrella for you.
⤷ Todoroki he always gives you flowers: it's become a routine for him to go to the flower shop every friday and buy you a bouquet of flowers - and also leaving a cute note that leaves you smiling every time. the flower shop employees have even become familiar with him, finding it strange when he doesn't come at the usual time. they also always leave the most beautiful bouquets reserved for him because they know him and know that he is a loyal customer; and that couldn't make him - and you - happier.
⤷ Denki he always offers you his seat (or invites you to sit on his lap); the moment he sees you standing or without a place to sit, he gets up and offers you to sit in his seat. he gently pulls out the chair for you and, when you sit down, he gives you a kiss on the top of your head and on your temple, making you feel at ease and comfortable there.
⤷ Tamaki he always turns off his cell phone when you two are together; he wants to have complete focus on you, paying attention to everything you have to say, your mannerisms, your jokes, your expressions, etc. he wants to be fully present there with you, enjoying every second by your side, which, for him, is very precious.
⤷ Shinsou he always gives you his jacket: at the slightest sign of cold, he takes off his own jacket and puts it on your shoulders with the intention of keeping you warm - sometimes you don't even want to or you're not feeling cold, but you'll break his heart if you refuse his jacket. he also places the jacket over your legs when you're sitting in a skirt or dress so you're not uncomfortable.
⤷ Hawks he always carries your bag or backpack; you don't even need to say anything, he just gently takes it from you and carries it to you everywhere. sometimes he jokes about you buying a bag that matches his clothes or something because he always carries it for you. he never complains about it though, in fact, he loves doing little things for you.
⤷ Dabi
he always puts you first, regardless of everything; it takes him a while to come up with the mindset of 'you before him' but once he does, there's no going back. he always puts your needs, desires and wishes before his because he loves to see you happy. it’s as if your joy was his joy. he doesn't feel bad doing it, quite the contrary, he loves you and would give you the world if you asked.
⤷ Shigaraki
he always gives you the last bit of what he is eating or drinking; It's an act of kindness and care that he shows towards you that always makes you happy. he wants to share with you what he likes, and he wants you to enjoy it as much as he does. sometimes you don't want to, and he just looks at you seriously for a few seconds before raising his eyebrow as if asking “are you sure? are you absolutely sure?” and when you agree, he sighs and finishes eating - but deep down he wanted you to eat.
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moondirti · 7 days
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featuring: ghoap x nanny! f!reader. parenthood. adoption processes. fluff. slice of life. reader is given an age range
hear me out: simon and johnny transferring to reserve duty – i.e., serving the military on a part-time basis rather than being on active call – once they make the decision to become dads. it comes after a long period of deliberation (and healing on simon's part), but after they're absolutely sure that they want to start this next phase of life together, they call price to get it sorted.
who is thrilled for them, naturally, but warns that they still have a specialised commitment to the task force. if he needs them, then they best make sure they're there. the world isn't a better place yet, and no one can do what the pair does.
fine by them.
so it begins. instead of the complex and ethical choices that come with surrogacy, they opt for adoption and work with an attorney to facilitate the logistics. months of searching come up with a young mother, whose unwanted pregnancy has interfered with her life thus far, and is unwilling to make the further sacrifice that comes with keeping the baby. they must be more understanding, or otherwise less overbearing, than the other candidates – because two months later, they're in a hospital waiting room, anxiously lingering to meet the new addition to their family.
isla riley-mactavish. named after the river where johnny realised he'd be much happier with his lieutenant by his side.
the first few months are bliss. exhausting bliss, but a type of contentment that neither man has known since they first confessed to one another. isla's fussy through nights but they take turns settling her down, and if they have military duties to attend to then it's usually never at the same time. she's spoiled rotten – not just by them, but by the captain and gaz as well, who visit more often than not with bags full of toys they have nowhere to put. a little princess in the eyes of everyone who knows her.
by month five, she's teething and can hold her head up unsupported. simon reads somewhere that it's one of the most pivotal points in her development.
of course the call has to come then.
in the middle of the night, no less, and loud enough to wake her up from her crib. johnny scrambles to calm the bairn down as simon answers, price's grave voice crackling in from the other end. expected to be a long haul. a month at least. state security's at serious risk here, simon. i wouldn't ask you to come out otherwise.
and they made a promise. no matter how much it aches them to leave their darling girl behind.
rdv on base in a week.
he knows that one week is a matter of grace. he can feel the captain itching to hatch the operation as soon as possible, but has staved off to give the boys time to order their affairs. that doesn't mean simon's happy with the timeline, though. seven days is not nearly enough to find a sitter they can trust, especially given their own hindrances.
regardless, they send a job posting for a live-in, 24/7 nanny to close friends – no way in hell are they advertising it to the open internet – and hours later, johnny's sister lets them know of a girl who substitutes at the same primary school she works at. a real darling, apparently. honest 'n' stowed oot of energy, th' weans love her, and she haes experience with bairns too!
promising, but word of mouth isn't enough. they get a name and ask laswell to run a thorough background check. to their relief, it comes out squeaky clean. no arrests, no dui's, no shady travel history. modest socials with only a handful of followers. it's in line with what they know so far, solid enough to encourage them to reach out. so they do: just a brief email, asking what time and place would be best for a face-to-face interview.
they bring isla with them to the agreed meeting spot. a cozy cafe nestled in one of the safest parts of town. it's an early saturday morning and they're scheduled to leave in three days. so far, they've put all their eggs in this basket. johnny has to hold onto simon's hand when he notices the nerves dancing behind his partners usually void eyes. but if he were being honest with himself, he's just as scared.
they notice you as soon as they walk in.
sitting at a table for four, mug of coffee steaming as you bend over a well-loved book. despite your preoccupation, you're observant – they inch in your periphery and your head snaps up, a brilliant smile parting your lips as you spring up onto your feet. simon tallies a point on the ledger in his head. good. alert is good.
as is true for them, it's abundantly clear that you're who they're supposed to meet. johnny can't imagine anyone but a children's educator dressing like that: a gingham babydoll dress over a pair of blue tights, which carries over to the bow in your hair and is juxtaposed by the white oxford lace-ups on your feet. he startles when you extend your hand to shake his and he finds a painted fruit on each of your short nails. positively adorable. and so unlike anything they know.
simon shuffles next to him. isla reaches out from her bugaboo stroller, the colours having caught her eye.
"well hello there! aren't you just the cutest angel i've ever seen? do you like my dress?"
that's another point for immediately engaging with the object of your soon-to-be care. simon watches as you pull out a rattle from your purse, handing it over to the cooing baby. warmth blossoms in his chest, and his apprehension fizzles out in the heat. they hadn't told you they'd be bringing isla – opting to catch you off guard and seeing how you'd deal – so he assumes you carry the toy around for emergency purposes, like anyone else of their ilk would carry a gun.
something about that quirk just screams safe.
"it is a nice dress." johnny pursues, voice smooth in that way it gets when he's flirting but doesn't want it made clear. it took weeks for ghost to attune himself to it – he always just thought the scot spoke like that – but now that he's able to hear it for what it is, he shoots him a cautionary look. not so much mad as he is cautious. wouldn't want to scare her off.
"oh! thank you very much. it's my grandmother's design." you straighten up once isla gains a proper grip on the rattle, patting the skirt like you're basking in the praise. "shall we sit? i assume you have a lot to discuss, and i promise you'll want to try the maple scones they make here."
"please. after you." simon nods.
an hour later, you're giggling into your palm as johnny deviates into a story of the time they took isla to the hospital because they didn't know the soft spot on her head could pulse. simon is quiet in contrast, though not displeased. rather, he's focused on keeping the tally of all the green flags you've exhibited thus far. he doesn't mind that the conversation hasn't followed a typical interview format. in fact, people are more likely to show their true nature when in relaxed settings such as this, which is perhaps why johnny hasn't stuck to the script of questions they'd prepared beforehand. the man is better at social manoeuvring than simon is, anyway. he trusts him to direct this where it needs to go.
"it can be freaky! especially if you've never been around a child that young. i had a similar reaction the first time i babysat my neighbour's infant at sixteen. did you know that they can break out like teenagers? i noticed the poor thing's skin erupt in acne at just a month old and called his parent's crying." you wheeze, wiping the tears along your lashline.
"have ye worked wi' many bairns?"
"oh, yeah. it's been my primary source of income since secondary, all the way through uni. i just finished a master's degree in early childhood education, actually! and i wrote a list of referrals you can call if you need to double check on any of that." you rummage through your purse and pull out an apple-shaped sticky note. "do you mind if i ask what you do? people don't usually look for a full-time nanny unless they're really busy. not that i'm judging! i would ne–"
"military." simon interrupts, ensuring his tone is gentle enough to reassure.
"that makes sense! i mean, for an indefinite amount of time, the pay you're offering is more than perfect. above industry standard, really." you pause, brows furrowing like you're doubting whether you should have said that. "ah– whatever. anyway. isla is wonderful, just the sweetest. and the provided accommodation is an added plus. if you guys have no other qualms, then i'd love to accept the position."
"does i' bother you that there are cameras on the property? porch, kitchen, and living room. jus' for security's sake." simon tests, though he knows he doesn't need to, for extra measure. to someone with bad intentions, CCTV is a massive dealbreaker.
you don't hesitate before answering. "makes total sense! you guys are well within your right to check in at any time."
and they don't have to consult each other to know. johnny is practically buzzing in his seat, muscles flexed with enthusiasm as his gaze flits all over you. lingering on your chest in particular, before he looks over to simon and smiles in an offensively handsome way. simon can't help but smile back, crinkling his eyes more than necessary so the both of you can tell what's going on behind his mask.
it feels a little too good to be true, hopeful in a way that sets off the alarm bells in his head. he's stable enough to recognise that it isn't your fault, though. stable enough not to pin his distrust on you. this is likely the best shot they've got at ensuring their daughter's safety while they're away, and it's come in the form of a vivid, bright little blessing.
(with great tits.)
he'd be a fool to sabotage it.
johnny beats him to the cause. "ye'r hired."
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chlorinecake · 1 month
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I was thinking about illegalracer!jungwon as your bf. He takes you for late night rides on his motorcycle that finish with him fucking u on his place, it's like a normal routine now...
Imagine Illegal Racer Jungwon…
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Who had a frisky side since the day you met him, living for the thrill of the night and earning himself a name of admiration and infamy on the streets as an underground racer…
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Illegal racer Jungwon who turned every road into his personal racetrack, drowning out his thoughts with the roaring pulse of his motorbike engine.
Illegal racer Jungwon who never expected you to become a part of this side of his world, but enjoyed having you around regardless… internally smirking at the startled look on your face whenever his wheels took off in a race, or the labored breaths you’d let out once he returned to greet you with a victory kiss in front of every one watching.
Illegal racer Jungwon who made you sit on the back of his bike one day, inviting you to fully understand his love for the wild life, and you’ve been hooked ever since.
“If you hang on tight enough, I might reward you with something once we get to my place,” he’d say, revving the engine but refusing to take off until your arms were wrapped securely around his waist, nearby neon lights blurring into both your peripheral visions as the smoky wind whipped through your exposed hair.
Illegal Racer Jungwon whose eyes sparkled like onyx as these late night joy rides became a part of your normal routine, adoring how you learned to trust him when he’d speed down narrow alleyways, or come a mere centimeter from colliding into destruction.
You two had even been chased by the police before, but Jungwon always had a way of outrunning them, especially when he had a certain goal in mind to get you alone with him for the night…
Illegal racer Jungwon who with every harsh drift, loved it when you held onto him tighter, stealing kisses at red lights as silver rain painted the streets and your dewy leather jackets.
Illegal racer Jungwon who would park his motorbike under a tree, helping you take your helmet off with his protective hand at your hips, finger playfully linking in the hoops of your jeans as he buried his face in your neck, kissing you desperately in between whispering how badly he had missed you…
Illegal racer Jungwon who usually left the back door to your little secret place unlocked, mostly because it was reserved for one thing and one thing only.
Illegal racer Jungwon who always looked especially attractive in his damp biker suit, watching with lust-ridden eyes as you stripped him of his leather layers to grant you better access to his broad shoulders.
“Love it when I take you out just so I can fuck you, huh?,” he teased, almost cooing at the way you rushed to take off his belt.
Illegal racer Jungwon whose sultry voice tantalized your ears whenever he spoke dirty to you, taking your face in his free hand to force your glossy eyes back on him.
“That’s my good girl- shit… keep fucking yourself on my cock,” he’d grunt in between having you bounce in his lap, sounds of skin against skin filling the room, “does it feel good, baby?… hmm?”
“Feels s-so good, Wonie,” you hummed with a broken moan, throwing your head back as he continued guiding your hips, “gonna come… f-fuck- gonna come so hard for you, baby…”
Illegal racer Jungwon who let his eyes roll in the back of his head every time you clenched around him, his pouty mouth leaning forward to suck, bite, and lick on your skin anywhere he could.
Illegal racer Jungwon who would always finish on your stomach because he never remembered to bring a condom, once again, enjoying the subtle risk of potentially forgetting to pull out of you.
Illegal racer Jungwon whose soft “I love you’s” after a reckless night never failed to make your heart flutter, taking a short cut to bring you back home even if it was past two in the morning.
Illegal racer Jungwon who liked kissing you goodnight at your doorstep on nights like this, his hand playfully smacking your ass as he whispered in the cool air, “You better call me first thing in the morning, alright?”
Illegal racer Jungwon who chuckled to himself whenever you waved at him like he wasn’t the guy you fucked every night, driving off into the distance with his final thoughts being your pretty face, a flushed red hue from the love he made to you...
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took me forever and a day to answer this ask (my sincerest apologies, anon), but hopefully you get to read it sometime soon !!
𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ( 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 💌 ) @squoxle @wonbinisbabygurl @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy @addictedtohobi @ot7sevenlvr + the link to my masterlist ~
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rinneverse · 2 months
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cw. gn!reader x wriothesley drabble, just a wee bit of being comforted by him, suggestive towards the end, minors dni please and ty :)
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“baby, what’s wrong?” wriothesley asks, pulling the covers of your bed away from your face.
“nothin’, honey.” you frown as you're pulled from your cocoon and attempt to tug the covers back over yourself. he's stubborn though, only pulling them back when you try to cover yourself up again.
“nothin’ my ass,” he gently counters. the bed dips under his weight as he takes a seat on the edge, gently brushing his hand along your shoulder when you burrow into your pillows instead.
“seriously. just feeling a bit down, that’s all.” you sigh in defeat, voice muffled by the pillow you clutch tightly to yourself.
wriothesley gently coaxes you into his hold, settling against the headboard as his strong arms wrap around you. despite your grumbling, you nestle further into him.
“it’s okay if you don’t want to talk,” he starts, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. his usually gruff voice is soft, a tone reserved for you and you only. “but i’m here for you regardless. i want you to tell me if there’s anything i can do for you, alright?”
“okay. i will.” you mumble. your ear presses against the warmth of his chest, his steady heartbeat lulling you into a relaxed state as broad hands stroke your back.
“that's my baby.” you can hear the smile in wriothesley's voice, a soft murmur against your temple. he tilts your chin up with a calloused finger, trailing kisses along your cheek, the slope of your jaw, ending with a slow kiss against your lips that has you forgetting what was making you upset in the first place.
when you pull away, you catch his gaze, icy blue depths filled with such love and adoration for you that it makes you feel love-drunk. you pull him in for another kiss, soft and sweet, curling yourself into the warmth of him as he holds you close.
“i can fuck the sad out of ya, if you need,” he murmurs against your lips, chest rumbling with a chuckle under your palms as you rest them there.
you press your lips together to suppress a giggle as you look up at him. “you're a horndog, you know that?”
“only when it comes to you, dear. now, does that sound good? need me to fuck you better?” there's a glimmer of hunger in his eyes as he watches you, cool hands dipping under your shirt that make you shiver.
you press another chaste kiss to his lips before you reply. “okay. but i'll be real upset if this doesn't make me feel better.”
“oh, i promise you'll be satisfied—” wriothesley grins wolfishly, the glint in his eyes your only warning before you're being flipped, pressed into the bed by the delicious weight of wriothesley settling on top of you.
he kisses down the slope of your throat, gently nipping at your pulse point before he continues: “—you know i don't disappoint.”
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please don't repost on other platforms. rbs and comments are super appreciated ♡ !!
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lxkeee · 3 months
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A rrequest if that okay. I want Lucifer x Angel daughter figure!Reader. Like before he fell, he had a share close bond with a child angel who look up to him like a father figure (she does look up to the other angels like they're uncles and aunt for her too but Lucifer is closer). Like sharing his ideas with ideas, teaching her to fly when she was a still a newborn, helping her with her powers (I vote for ICE POWERS ❄️), doing hobbies together like art. Kinda like Morgan x Tony Stark or like Scott Lang x Cassie
Her personality : Shy, kind, dreamer too but reserve, well-behaved, sensitive, and never like cussing
And aafter he fell in hell with Lilith, she was alone in heaven, growing up to be a well mature messenger of heaven .
While in hell, Lucifer tell the tale of a small angel who could have been her sister
What do you think, is it a good story
IT'S BEEN SO LONG
—PART ONE
pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Adopted! Fem angel! Reader [platonic!]
fandom: Hazbin Hotel
genre: fluff and cute
notes: will be making a male version of this. Someone remind me.
PART TWO | NAVIGATION
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“Luci, throw me up again please!” a childlike voice giggles and Lucifer smiles, his angel wings fluttering behind his back. In his hand is a small angel, no older than six, a bright smile on her face, a small halo above her head. Chubby baby cheeks he just wants to squish forever.
The older angel chuckles softly, “Alright, alright... 1, 2, 3, and up we go!” he cheers, throwing the small child up in the air making her giggle loudly, her small wings fluttering behind her back in excitement and Lucifer effortlessly catching her. Soft and gentle chuckles escaping his lips as he places a gentle kiss on the child's forehead making the small girl laugh, a childlike giggle escaping her lips.
She was one of the recently created angels and the older angels are tasked with watching over one child. Lucifer, one of the older angels was tasked to watch over a little one and he was paired up with this sweet child. He needs to guide her and make sure she won't have any trouble living in heaven.
“Luci,Luci!” the small girl calls out to him excitedly in his arms, Lucifer raises an eyebrow and looks down at the smaller angel that's on his arms.
“What is it little [y/n]?” he asks softly, booping her nose with his pinky finger. A small giggle leaving the girl's lips.
“Look! Look! I can do this!” [y/n] says with a small giggle, showing her tiny chubby hands to him and slowly it glowed a pale blue and accidentally shot him a blast of snow... To his face.
Laughter was heard coming out of the smaller girl's lips as Lucifer stood there in shock. Still caught off guard by the snow attack on his beautiful face.
Regardless, he wasn't mad. It wasn't strong yet to hurt him but boy, it was so cold. He was amazed that the child's powers have already developed at this age, he can tell she'll be strong in the future.
Using his hands, he wiped off the snow from his face before chuckling as he looked down at the laughing girl that was in his arms.
“Meany little lady, shooting me with snow.” he says with a small pout making the smaller girl giggle, “'m sorry, I was supposed to make a snowflake...” she murmurs softly and apologetically.
Lucifer smiles softly and ruffles her hair, “It's fine little [y/n]. You didn't mean to.” he says with a smile, making the girl's frown disappear as she returns back to smiling brightly at him. Lucifer eventually helped her in slightly controlling her powers and the girl managed to finally create snowflakes.
Lucifer started calling her 'Little snowflake.'
And [y/n] eventually started calling him dad.
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All throughout her life, she spent it underneath her father's wings. She shared the same beliefs as him, as his influence.
She was just 11 years old when her dad fell from grace.
The small child sobbing and cried in Michael's arms, as she watched Lucifer falling down and away from heaven. Lucifer crying silently as he watched his daughter's crying face, her tiny arms reaching out to him but Michael held her back. They don't know when they'll see each other again.
She was later on educated why he was cast out of the heavenly city, she didn't fight or argue with the higher angels, choosing to be obedient while deep down, believing that her father was a good man and still is.
She was taken underneath Gabriel's wing, the older woman guiding her how to use her powers.
But she misses Lucifer, her dad. She misses his warmth and comfort.
She grew up to be one of the most powerful archangels. Both she and Gabriel are God's messengers.
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Timeskip. The reader would be somewhere around 27,000 ish years old but looks like in her early twenties.
[Y/n] chokes on her tea as Gabriel announces the news to her, the tea splashing out of the cup. Thankfully not spilling on the important documents that are on the desk in front of her, they were in the messenger office doing paperwork.
“Excuse me? Adam is dead?” [y/n] asked in disbelief and the older woman nodded, “Apparently.” Gabriel says with a shrug.
It has been millennia since then, where she has last seen her father. She grew up without him but his guidance continues to guide her all throughout her life.
She grew up to be a strong and mature woman, has risen up the ranks, a rank below the Seven Virtues.
[Y/n] places down the cup of tea on the table before looking at her mentor, Gabriel.
“And you're telling me because?” [y/n] asked with a blank expression, already fully prepared for a new job to be placed on her shoulders. Gabriel deadpans at her, “Unfortunately the exorcists failed to bring his body back here and we don't have any detailed report on what happened and I want you to go down there to do those things.” Gabriel explained, a hand on her hip.
[Y/n] deadpans back at her, “Do I look like Hu Tao to you or something?” she asked and Gabriel raised an eyebrow at her, confused who this Hu Tao is.
“Who?” Gabriel asked with a confused tone, “Tao.” [y/n] answers seriously.
(10/10 comedy right there)
Gabriel still couldn't understand her, please someone end her misery.
“Anyways, I want you to go down there okay?” Gabriel says sternly, [y/n] sighs very loudly.
“I am not a funeral director nor a press. I am a messenger of God!” [y/n] says a deadpan, her lips pressed in a thin line. Gabriel sighs. How did Lucifer manage this kid?
“Besides, why do we need to bring his body back here? Can't we just leave it there to rot or something? Dude is finally where he belongs.” [y/n] asked flatly with a raised eyebrow, Gabriel sighs once more. She was not amused.
Eventually, [y/n] didn't get to escape the new responsibility as she was pushed into a portal by none other than Gabriel, a portal to hell.
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In hell, specifically the pride ring. An angelic portal can be seen opening at the red skies of the city. The portal closing briefly after a figure emerged from it. The phenomenon catching and sparking the interest of the hell dwellers.
[Y/n] sighs softly as she falls, falling backwards making the tip of her wings pushed in front by the pressure of the wind. Closing her eyes for a few moments, she could recall the day Lucifer, her dad fell from grace.
Is this what he felt during that day? She asked herself before opening her eyes, turning her body so she could face the approaching fiery red grounds of hell, extending her wings to its full size, fluttering as she finally stabilized herself and kept herself afloat.
Once she was close to the ground, she straightened her wings so she could dive faster.
Landing on the ground roughly but gracefully, a crater formed underneath her shoes where she landed. Extending her arm in front of her, a golden hologram forming above her palm.Time to look for that damn body.
In the distance, up in a small hill was a hotel called Hazbin Hotel.
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TAGLIST:
@adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @yukichan67 @apple-pop @akiralovespenguins @storydays @kaurochika @amphiroxx @lil-writer-523
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e-hibiscus · 2 months
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Pairing: GP!Acheron x reader
Warnings: NSFW, sub! Afab reader, GP!Acheron, slight angst, reunion se.x(?), not proofread, pre-release Acheron
Minors DNI! | NSFW! under the cut
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Acheron has always been elusive from the day you’ve met this strange woman. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact you had known her for so long (and slept with each other before), she probably wouldn’t ever come back. But the galaxy ranger always finds her way back to you like a moth drawn to a flame. 
Days and months pass, and you’ve long since grown accustomed to her absence and surprise visits. It’s been a while, but you don’t forget her. Her touch, her smell, and the way she makes you feel, emotionally and physically. Simply thinking about her fills you with a sense of longing, as if a part of you is missing without her presence by your side. It’s a hole in your heart that is only filled by her, and her alone, so you cling to hope that you’ll see her again soon.
Penacony’s dreams were said to make anything into reality, yet it was the last place you thought you would ever meet her. Of all things, she’s here but what for? You could hardly grasp a tangible reason for this encounter nor would you have ever accounted that the reason she would give was, in part, to see you.
**
“You’re back.” A voice spoke as you’re finally returning to reality once more. You know that voice anywhere, that much was unmistakable. When you turned your head, it wasn’t much of a shock seeing Acheron standing a couple of feet away from the pool.
You’ve caught glimpses of her in the dream. Acheron knew someone had been watching her, and she was quick to realize it was you. There’s no harm in it, but you’re surprised the woman came because she seemed occupied with her agenda.
“How did you-“ Your question was quickly interjected by the Galaxy Ranger.
“There’s no need to go into that.” Her voice cut through the air, her lust evident in her one “It just matters that I’m here now, with you. I know you’ve missed me. Those too are my feelings in turn.”
The only sign of the woman’s eagerness was the way Acheron barely allowed you onto your feet. A strong grip takes you by the hip, guiding you to the sofa. Her arm guides you on your back onto the cushioned seat with a light thud.
Acheron was moving quickly, today she’s far more eager and less reserved than normal, but you would’ve welcomed her with open arms regardless. Her lips hastily met yours without warning. She presses you deeply into a kiss, her desire evident by the way her lips move against yours in reckless abandon. A fight of dominance that she easily won, only pulling away as a whimpered plea leaves your chest.
A string of saliva connects the two of you once she pulls away. Looking up at her face, her eyes burn with need, but she doesn’t proceed further. Until you give her your full permission, she stays hovering above you, waiting for your consent for her to continue.
“Can we…?” 
Her fingers drag down your side—prepared to loop around the hem of your skirt if you let her. You gave Acheron a nod, however, she shook her head disapprovingly. “I need you to say it. I want to get your full verbal consent, and I don’t care how many times you’ve said yes before. Tell me you want it, just as much as me.”
Acheron’s hardened gaze softens as you say yes. Piece by piece, one article of clothing is shed and discarded someplace in your room until you’re left in nothing but your undergarments. Her fingers work at your clit through the material of your panties. This time, you share slower and more intimate kiss.
You couldn’t shake the overwhelming sensation of her fingers beginning to prod your sensitive hole. Acheron’s embrace soothes your nerves as she coats her fingers with your arousal. Already your panties are damp with excitement, and she has already taken the liberty of sliding down your legs and discarding them somewhere in your room.
A low moan escapes your lips as waves of pleasure wreck your body. Gentle strokes gradually build up as her fingers send waves of ecstasy throughout your body. You watch as her fingers effortlessly stretch you out– arousal making it easy for her digits to glide in and out with little resistance. Two quickly turned to three as she prepared you for what would come next.
Her intense gaze never left your core. Acheron was practically salivating at the sight of your pussy clenching around her fingers. Oh, how she can’t wait until it’ll be her cock buried deep instead of her fingers. She has to be patient though and ease you into taking her length again.
Acheron bites her lips as she palms your clit, watching you buck your hips with pitiful whines escaping your lips. A loud moan leaves your lips and your grip on her back tightens. Acheron groans out when your nails dig into her skin. 
She swipes her thumb over your clit swiftly. Your eyes roll back as your body tenses– clenching around Acheron’s digits as she works through your orgasm, only stopping her ministrations when you push her away.
You don’t know when exactly Acheron removed her pants, but you can feel her cock rubbing between your thighs, coating it with the remnants of your cum. She slowly grinds against you, letting the tip catch your clit.
Her breath tickles your skin, her voice heavy with desire. “I’ll try to be slow.” Her words came as the fat tip of her cock parts your folds.
With how wet you were, it makes Acheron’s gradual penetration come quickly. Tossing your head back, you can't help but moan out as you struggle to take all of it. When she finally bottoms out, a guttural groan leaves Acheron’s chest– nails digging into your plush thighs because of how tight your walls cling to her so tightly.
Acheron starts moving once you’ve grown adjusted to her size. Her hips pull back until only the tip remains before bottoming out and grinding her hips against yours. Your quivering entrance accepts her in full, gripping her length as she sinks deeper.
“Fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed having you here like this.”
The tip of her cock slams into your sweet spot. Your body trembled as Acheron pulled back before thrusting back in with a relentless pace. Seeing your expression and feeling you squeezing her tighter, Acheron doubles her efforts until your eyes roll back into your skull.  Your back arches up towards her while she pins your hips down.  
Acheron lips hungrily met yours, silencing your scream as you cum on her cock. With one final thrust, you feel the warmth of her cum flooding your womb. Every inch of your walls along to her length; causing waves of ecstasy to run down your spine. Your walls milk her release until she slowly slips her cock out giving you a moment to catch your breath.
You feel a gentle kiss on your brow before Acheron pushes aside the strands of hair sticking to your skinー a gentle and welcoming caress as you feel her cum slowly dibble from your quivering entrance.
Acheron’s voice was soft yet filled with desire. “Your body is just asking for more. You’ll give me one more, right?”
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infamous-if · 1 year
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✮ DEMO (238K) ✮ FAQ ✮ PLAYLISTS ✮ PATREON
Latest update -> 12/01/2023
You're going to be a superstar, no matter what it takes.
You and your friends have been in a band since high school, when all you were was a lead singer to a band that played out of someone's garage and did occasional birthday party gigs for the neighborhood kids. after years of grinding, your band has yet to make it big, but has managed a small and dedicated cult following. All you and your bandmates want is to see your names in glittery lights, traveling the world to perform for millions of fans.
Your chance comes in Misfit Alley's Battle of the Bands. After auditioning every year with no success, your band has finally gotten the opportunity to tour across the United States and open for the biggest band in the world, performing against other bands in the hopes that you win and get signed.
As you perform, your fame rises and you can see the dream coming to fruition. But with fame comes problems of its own, some that might just ruin you and the band you swore to take to the top.
Infamous is rated 18+ for explicit language, explicit sexual themes, drug and alcohol use, violence, morally questionable behavior, and more.
✮ FEATURES ✮ CHARACTER INTROS ✮
Customize your MC (the lead singer of your band)'s appearance and personality, as well as their public image and persona. Are they loved or hated by the public? Controversial or appeasing? Humble or arrogant? Fame and money-hungry or simply there for the music?
Following that, work on your band's public image and whether they're mainstream or underground, depending on the choice of music you release and what kind of promo you do. Is your band hated by parents due to its explicit content or is your band squeaky clean, perfect for a mainstream label?
Engage in fiery romance with an array of wild characters, including some that may just get you into hot water with the rumor mill.
Create your own lyrics and decide whether you want to be a genuine artist or the face of a brand.
Get rich and famous ! Isn't that what you're here for?
✮THE BAND + ROs✮
The Band Manager: Orion/Oriana Quinn ✮ he/him or she/her, 35 ✮ [RO] -- strict and reserved, O is the antithesis of what a rockstar is. Some call their cold and uptight demeanor having 'a stick up their ass' but they call it being business focused. O is all about bringing the band to the top, which includes being professional at all times.
Special romance route: you can choose to have been chasing O for years, to no success (until now?)
The New Addition: August Pierce ✮ they/them, 26 ✮ [RO] -- With the exit of your bandmate, August has taken her place as the band's drummer. Usually shy and reserved, that all goes out the window once they start playing. You wonder if their isolation is less a personality trait and more the fact that they're in a band with longtime friends. Doesn't matter--seems like it'll take a while for you to get close to them regardless.
The Idol: Griffin/Gina 'Gigi' Reign ✮ he/him or she/her, 28 ✮ [RO] -- the spunky, charming and controversial lead singer of Misfit Alley and now your mentor, G Reign is currently the most famous person on Earth. Everyone either hates them, wants to be them, or wants to fuck them. Of course, this means a slew of trouble if one gets close to them...that is if they even allow it.
Special romance route: engage in an affair / engage in a strictly physical relationship (that can lead to a romantic one) // poly route with Victoria Valentine
The Rival: Seven Lawless ✮ he/him or she/her, 27 ✮ [RO] -- once your best friend or ex, they are now your rival and the lead singer of Soft Violence, another band competing for Battle of the Bands. They hate you. Still, the line between love and hate is a whole lot of passion.
Special romance route: can either be an ex or a former best friend, enemies to lovers.
The Girl Dad: Sebastian Holland ✮ he/him, 33 ✮ [RO] -- a normal and friendly data analyst, Sebastian isn't about the music scene....but his daughter is and she's a superfan of your band. Sebastian is your typical 'nice guy' almost too nice, sometimes, and has been dragged along by his daughter to follow the Battle of the Bands for her birthday. He's just a normal civilian. The last thing you should do is get to know him, right?
The Eye Candy: Victoria Valentine ✮ she/her, 27 ✮ [RO] -- G Reign's wife, she's an upcoming actress and model. Victoria has been G's eye candy since they came up on the scene, but you can almost sense the tension between them. And the way Victoria seeks shelter in someone else...that could be you.
Special romance route: engage in an affair // poly route with G Reign
✮BAND MEMBERS✮
Rowan Hart (he/him) -- guitarist
Iris De Luca (she/her) - keyboardist
Devyn Powell -- (they/she) bassist, background vocals
reblogs appreciated! and thank you for your interestttt
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murdockparker · 27 days
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Roses and Regrets Part 2
Anthony Bridgerton x Reader
Summary: What a pleasant life it is, to be a widow with no obligations. Getting new dresses, making unlikely friends, what a treat.
Word Count: 3.9k
Rating: 18+!!! MINORS DNI (I will haunt you)
Warnings: female masturbation, yearning, Reader decidedly hates Anthony (what's new??) , maybe a bit of angst
A/N: oops my hands slipped and this is what happened. sorry bout that, bruv!
first part - next part
“You should have seen him, Meg.”
Her lady’s maid nodded along to Lady Barlow’s rant, having heard the interaction in nauseam since she returned from the park. From his appearance to his demeanor—Meg assumed she might as well have been there. Carefully, she continued to remove the pins from the dowager viscountess’ hair, the very same that she had placed in the morning. 
“I am sure Lord Bridgerton was certainly unagreeable,” Meg droned, accidentally snagging her lady’s hair. “Sorry, ma’am.”
“You know, you don’t have to do all that, I am a perfectly capable woman,” (Y/N) laughed, looking at her maid in the mirror. “And he was, unagreeable, if you must know.”
“He is alway unagreeable,” Meg said, exasperated. “My lady, please take no offense, but I think this talk of Lord Bridgerton must cease.”
“You do not have to ask me twice,” (Y/N) snorted. “I wish for nothing more than to stop speaking about that oaf.”
Meg blinked. “Right. Of course.”
“You… you do not believe me?”
“I believe you believe it to be true,” Meg carefully stated, hands by her sides. “We have a good friendship, ma’am, and I am ever grateful that you allow me to speak my mind—”
“So speak it,” (Y/N) said, voice tittering on a giggle. “I shall not take offense, I swear it.”
“You have done nothing but speak of Lord Bridgerton since you arrived from your visit to the park,” Meg began, choosing her words carefully. “Save for when you had your meals, hard to speak over soup and the like. I, for one, am exhausted hearing about it. Perhaps a respite from the topic?”
“Imagine how I feel,” (Y/N) finally laughed. “That man makes me insane.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I pray whenever he marries—oh that poor woman—I hope she can teach him some manners.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Perhaps I should send him a book on it? Manners, I mean.”
“Good idea, ma’am.”
“Meg, you are not hearing me.”
“Oh I am hearing you,” Meg nodded. “I am just choosing not to listen.”
She bit her lip, eyeing her friend’s faraway glance. Glassy, almost. “Perhaps… I suppose I should drop the topic for now?”
“It is late,” Meg shook her head, nearly dropping out of a trance. “I have mending to attend to, if you do not mind.”
“You hate the mending.”
“Picking and choosing my battles, ma’am,” Meg smiled politely. 
“Admirable,” (Y/N) said. “I suppose it is late…”
“Might I fetch you some more tea before you retire?” She set the last pin down amongst the vanity. Covered in expensive oils and products, it’s a wonder that anyone could find anything at all on the surface. Thank God Meg knew the contents like the back of her hand.
“No… I fear it will keep me up all night, but thank you, truly,” (Y/N) said. 
“Goodnight, my lady.”
And then, she was alone. 
Snuffing her candle, she hopped into her bed. Thankfully she never shared this one with Lord Barlow—that was reserved in the wing across the estate—leaving this bed untouched by such a soiled man. It was pleasantly plush and covered in endless pillows, she wondered if the royal princesses slept in beds as nice as this one—nicer, probably. More pillows, if she had to wager.
Sheets pulled up to her chin, eyes focused on the ceiling, she tried to chase sleep. Her mother had taught her a trick when she was young, imagining rabbits chasing around the room and counting those—perhaps it was sheep? Regardless, she tried counting. She only made it to twenty nine before flipping onto her side, exasperated by the count. 
Sleep never came.
The covers melted off of her body in an instant, floating over to her door to ensure it was locked. Quietly, oh-so quietly, she turned the latch. No need for the staff to interrupt her… sleep. She hardly had to turn to such matters, but when exhaustion cycled her brain and not her body, leaving her tossing and turning all night, she really had no other choice. 
No other choice, she reminded herself. 
She laid on top of the covers this time, rabbits and sheep all but forgotten.
If there was to be one positive of marrying, it was the sheer fact that she was able to fully understand her body as a woman. While the marital act itself was entirely loathsome—a chore with Lord Barlow that happened infrequently during their marriage to try for an heir—the act of doing it alone? 
Why the idea alone just got her heart pounding. 
She never had anyone to teach her these things, her mother passed before her marriage, so there was no ‘wedding night talk’. Everything that Lady Barlow had learned was from her sheer will and determination—a chase for something she never quite knew she was racing towards. Her husband? He had never been any help. A few grunts and thrusts before he would spend himself inside, collapsing on top of her for the night. 
She refused to give her late husband much thought—not when her hands were on her breasts, one slinking lower to touch a more delicate area. 
No. She needed to focus her thinking on something else. Something to get the job done, send her to sleep sooner than later. 
The gentleman. The faceless one that she imagined in place of her own hands. It usually sped things along if she focused on a generally well-looking fellow and how he’d touch her instead of just chasing her own feelings with her fingertips. Saved her wrists a lot of pain too—occasionally she felt like she was back practicing her penmanship, writing lines all day with her governess—the ache was fairly similar. Although, one pain caused a higher embarrassment than the other.
Decidedly happy with her diversion of thought, she made quick work on the bottom of her nightdress and pulled it up to her stomach. (Y/N) had never the need to sleep with drawers, feeling a dress was more than enough. Besides, it gave her easy access on nights like tonight. Her fingers danced with her lower lips, already damp with arousal. 
She sighed at the first contact, the pure ecstasy of running her fingertips across her glistening folds. In her mind, he was doing this to her, the nameless man who wanted nothing more than to give her what she needed. With slow and tantalizing circles, she teased her clit, gasps leaving her lips involuntarily, her eyes rolling shut before she could even think. Her non-dominant hand continued to grasp at her breast, squeezing and rolling the flesh until she was utterly mindless. 
The climb was thrilling, it was suffocating and all encompassing. How she dreamed she could experience this with someone, feel this pleasure with another, both giving and taking exactly what the other needed. She groaned again, feeling herself getting closer to the edge, her circles faster now, the gentleman making good work on her neglected center. 
“Gods,” (Y/N) cried, trying her very best to keep her voice down. She didn’t need Meg inquiring about her, not when she was so worked up and so, so close.
And then… the fall. Everything was white and her heart felt like it was bound to beat out of her chest.     
Brown eyes.
As she fell into a peaceful slumber, for no reason in particular, she decided her faceless gentleman had brown eyes. 
Breaking her fast was usually rewarding, the chefs at Barlow Estate were some of the most talented in the ton—of course, only in her humble opinion, not that she had much to compare it to. When she first married Lord Barlow, having such fulfilling meals first thing in morning was almost worth marrying such an oaf. Almost.
“Did you have a good sleep, ma’am?” A butler asked, taking (Y/N)’s empty plate, replacing it with one full of fresh cut fruit.
“Oh!” Her face flushed. “Y-yes, James, of course. I always have a pleasant sleep.”
“You look well rested, ma’am,” he nodded.
“My lady,” Meg spoke up, gaining the attention of Lady Barlow from her fruit. “You have an appointment at the modiste early this afternoon.”
“I don’t recall making an appointment,” (Y/N) held her hand still, half of an apple tight in her grasp.
“I made the appointment, ma’am,” Meg said. “You are in need of new dresses—” 
“Is there something wrong with the way I dress?”
“Of course not,” Meg said quickly, her face growing slightly pink. “It is just, since the late Lord Barlow passed you have been in mourning attire—blacks, blues, the entire dreary ensemble. I figured it would be best to get dresses that suited more the colors of the season.”
“I am unsure if you noticed,” (Y/N) said, taking a small bite of her apple. She chewed it quickly. “But my dress today is green.”
“I did notice,” Meg nodded politely. “It is a lovely color, but perhaps a lighter blue would be nice? A purple?”
“Perhaps you should listen to her, ma’am,” James interjected. “The family account has not been used since after your wedding and the mourning attire—”
“And I can use that money elsewhere,” (Y/N) raised her brow. “I’m sure the new viscount will be pleased I am not blowing his money so frivolously, I do not see the need for new dresses.”
Meg sighed, giving James a trying look. He shrugged. “Humor me. Just one dress.”
“Fine. One dress."
Somehow, between the carriage ride to the modiste and the tailoring of a beautiful purple display piece, Lady (Y/N) Barlow was talked into three new dresses. A sharp pinprick to her left leg brought her back to her senses. 
“Oh! Lady Barlow, I do apologize,” Madame Delacroix said. “You must keep still as I pin your hems."
“I will try my best,” (Y/N) smiled, glancing down at the woman working hard on her new dress. “How fortunate the display dress you had fits so well.”
“Oui, how fortunate,” Madame Delacroix nodded. “A few pins and stitches and it will be perfect. And this color is very flattering—I am certain the men of the ton will turn their heads at this.”
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. “I have no need to turn heads, Madame,” (Y/N) said curtly. “I am simply just refreshing my wardrobe.”
“Oh, no one has the need to turn heads, save for the young ladies,” Madame Delacroix giggled, it sounded almost fake, forced. “But my work will do that regardless, so do expect that Lady Barlow.”
“Joy,” (Y/N) sighed, tilting her head at her reflection. While it hadn’t been an extraordinarily long time since she debuted—a shake over three years at the most—she was no longer the young girl from her first season. Her curves have filled out, her features more defined, so this particular cut was suiting her just fine. Madame Delacroix was the best modiste for a reason, knowing just how to make the ladies of the ton sparkle.
The front door swung open, a sea of blue flooding in the entryway. “Ah, Lady Bridgerton, I shall be with you in a moment!” Madame Delacroix called out.
(Y/N) froze at the mere mention of the Bridgerton name.
“Take your time, Madame,” Lady Bridgerton cooed, practically shoving a book of fabrics in her daughter’s face. Eloise, (Y/N) recalls, the second eldest daughter of the brood. It was her first season. “We’ll be patient.”
“Shall I pull another dress, Lady Barlow?”
“No,” (Y/N) shook her head wildly. “I rather think I am finished for this afternoon. Please add the dresses to my account—”
“Lady Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton said kindly. “How lovely it is to see you.”
Fuck.
“Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) curtsied, feeling far too proper. “Likewise.”
“What a lovely color that is on you,” she said, eying the girl up and down. “I take it you are out of mourning then, yes?”
“Have been since the Danbury Ball,” (Y/N) nodded. “But I gather Lady Whistledown has already made that public knowledge.” 
Lady Bridgerton's cheeks flushed, like a child with their hand caught in the biscuit jar. “I cannot say that I find myself reading that gossip rag often, but—”
“Oh Mother,” Eloise groaned, looking up at the ceiling in frustration. “You read Whistledown just as often as I.”
“I do not blame you, Lady Bridgerton,” (Y/N) quickly added. The older woman’s shoulders relaxed. “For the many months I was in mourning and not socializing, Whistledown was my way I could keep up with everything. I very much would like to thank her, should I ever get the opportunity.”
“Yes, well,” Lady Bridgerton cleared her throat. “In any case, if you happen to be free tomorrow afternoon, would you like to join me for tea?”
“Tea?”
“I remember how it felt when—” she stopped herself, eyes becoming glassy. “Becoming a widow so suddenly is difficult. I would like to bestow my wisdom upon you if you’d allow it.”
“You are not quite old enough to be bestowing wisdom,” (Y/N) laughed lightly.
“I beg to differ,” Eloise mumbled.
“Flattery, Lady Barlow, will get you everywhere,” Lady Bridgerton smiled, elbowing her daughter lightly. “And you already have the invite, no need to lay it on so thick.”
“That is very kind of you, but—”
“So, shall we say noon tomorrow?”
The Bridgertons, as Lady Barlow gathered, were a difficult lot to say no to.
“Noon. Sounds perfect.”
It felt odd, being in the drawing room of Bridgerton House. She only ever had the fleeting thought that she’d ever sit here the once—ages ago during her first season. Now? Now she was sitting and drinking tea with Lady Bridgerton as if nothing was wrong in the world.
“You have a lovely home,” (Y/N) said, holding her teacup a little tighter than she should. 
“Thank you,” Lady Bridgerton said voice full of appreciation. “Tell me, Lady Barlow, how is your family?”
“My family?”
“Oh, forgive me for asking,” Lady Bridgerton clarified. “I just had realized that I know very little about you, you were only in the season for such a short time before you married. I figured your family was a good place to start.”
“No, no,” (Y/N) put the cup down. “I understand. Seeing as everyone knows about your family,” Lady Bridgerton chuckled at that, “I should only fill in some blank spaces, I suppose.”
The elder dowager nodded her head, tipping her cup at the younger widow to continue.
“No family, I’m afraid,” (Y/N) said, her voice wavering on sad. “Mother passed a few years before my debut, Father just last year. No siblings, so… just me I’m afraid.”
“Goodness,” Lady Bridgerton pressed a hand to her heart. “Your father and husband in the same year? I am truly sorry for your losses.”
“My mother was the true loss,” she said honestly, her voice practically lifting. “Kindest soul to grace this Earth, I mourn her every day. The others? I do not doubt anyone has missed them.”
“Lord Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton dropped a spoonful of sugar into her cup. “He was an odious man. When I had heard he had taken another wife—it was quite the story around the ton. I was beside myself.”
“I happen to be number three,” (Y/N) said matter-of-factly. “Number One and Two both died in childbirth, trying to give that man his beloved heir. Never worked out, and I cannot say I am crestfallen I never came to be with child, either. The new Lord Barlow is quite well suited for the role regardless, I am told, so I suppose it has worked out for the best.”
“Yes,” Lady Bridgerton had a small smile against her lips, “I can imagine so.”
“Does your son,” (Y/N) coughed, correcting herself, “Lord Bridgerton, does he know I am here for tea?”
“Oh my son is not always privy to my social calendar,” the older woman winked. “He is probably out galavanting and trying to find a wife.”
“A wife?”
“Oh, yes,” Lady Bridgerton nearly beamed. “Lord Bridgerton is finally looking to marry—even after all these years of begging him. Something just clicked last season, I suppose. Perhaps Daphne, the duchess, marrying finally gave him the right idea?”
(Y/N) nodded politely. “I’m sure you’re thrilled.”
“I only wish for the best for all eight of my children,” she nodded, “so seeing him look to marry makes me ever hopeful.” 
“Mhm,” (Y/N) sank into more of her cup, polishing it off.
The grand clock ticked away. 
“I apologize if this all makes you uncomfortable Lady Barlow,” Lady Bridgerton started. “It is just… when Edmund passed, I had my family and wonderful friends to support me. I figured, perhaps, having another friend would not be the worst thing?”
“Lady Bridgerton, you are very kind for checking in with me, and I very much appreciate this tea,” (Y/N) said honestly. She felt like she could jump out of her skin with anxiety, but tried her very best to keep it under control. “But… as you had alluded, it is no secret that Lord Barlow and I were not a love match. There is no need—”
“Being a widow is hard,” Lady Bridgerton cut her off. “It is rotten work and you feel like a shell of yourself, only having a title such as ours because of who we married and not in our own right. Tell me, do you plan on remarrying?”
“No.”
“No?”
“I am quite content with my life,” (Y/N) said thoughtfully. “Widows have all the freedom in the world, I am allowed many opportunities because of it—far more than when I was simply a little thing on the Marriage Mart.”
“I suppose that would be… correct,” Lady Bridgerton treaded lightly. “However, do you not wish for a family? The support of another?”
“It is not that I do not wish for a family,” (Y/N) said truthfully. “I am sure part of me does, but it is more the matter of everything that comes with it.”
“I could never imagine going about life alone,” Lady Bridgerton said. “After Edmund… I am just grateful my children were here to keep me sane, grounded, even.”
“Children can be a blessing…”
“But children,” Lady Bridgerton added quickly, “they are not for everyone. I hope you find happiness in whatever you need.”
“Thank you,” the young viscountess said sincerely. “You have such a wonderful life, Lady Bridgerton.”
“Violet,” she corrected. “Please, call me Violet.”
“Oh,” (Y/N)’s cheeks darkened. “Violet, then.”
“We are friends now, after all,” Violet smiled kindly, the kind of smile only a mother possessed. She waved for the tea to be replaced, a butler practically rushed to fulfill the viscountess’ request. “More tea?”
“I would love some more,” (Y/N) said, feeling lighter than air. Perhaps having a friend was a good step forward, a leap into the right direction.
The door to the drawing room slammed open.
“Mother, I just received our balance from the modiste and—”
Much like he owned the place—and in a way, he did—Lord Bridgerton took command of the less-than-quaint room and had all eye on him. His own eyes—his brown eyes—were trained solely on the widow sitting beside his mother, his mouth agape.
“Oh Anthony, you cannot just barge in here,” Violet scolded, “we have a guest.”
“I see that,” he seethed, shoving his hands behind his back in faux-decorum. “Lady Barlow.”
“Lord Bridgerton,” she nodded stiffly, not bothering to raise from her seat.
He ignored her, turning swiftly to his mother instead. “May I have a word alone with our guest, Mother?”
Feeling the tension in the room rise, Violet sighed, giving into her son’s request. “I believe I should check on the governess, anyhow,” Violet said, rising from her seated position. “Behave.”
Anthony brushed his mother’s whispered warning off, tilting his head to the staff, all leaving the room at his command. The door had barely clicked shut before he stepped forward. “Since when are you friends with my mother?”
“Since when do you care about who I spend my time with?”
“Since that company is my mother,” he said cooly. “I would have thought you were just so turned off by the Bridgerton name that you would ignore all of my family—”
“She is a nice woman,” (Y/N) rose, crossing her arms. “How you managed to turn out the way you have despite that is beyond me.”
“You are in my home,” Anthony pointed. “You insult my character and you dare try to befriend my mother?”
“Dare?” She laughed. “Am I not allowed to have friends?”
“Not with my mother,” he stepped towards her. 
“Your mother,” she smiled forcefully, “Violet, has been nothing but kind to me today. She was merely looking out for me—offered me some good advice.”
“Advice?” He laughed. “On what planet could someone many years your senior offer you helpful advice?”
“You could not settle with just insulting me, so you had to insult your own mother? She is not yet elderly—”
“Yet she is older than you,” he corrected, his cheeks pink from his mistake. “Do you not have friends your own age?”
“Do you not have something better to do?”
He huffed, squeezing his wrist in restraint. “I came here to speak with my mother—”
“Yet you shooed her out of the room and decided to speak to me instead,” she countered, stepping closer. “To insult me? To threaten me? Whichever, I suppose, I will never understand. I decided to take tea with Lady Bridgerton because she offered it—offered advice on being a widow, something you have already known about me.”
“I wouldn’t wish for her to hear our conversation, besides, her advice could not have been that helpful,” Anthony snorted. “My parents were in love, her trials of being a widow pales in comparison to your situation—”
“The one in which I also lost a husband? The sole definition of being a widow?” She said, her arms tight against her chest. “That situation?”
The grand clock—that damned grand clock—chimed in the uncomfortable silence, a new hour beginning.
“I may not have loved Lord Barlow,” she admitted. “He may not even have been a friend to me, but I still am a lady who has lost her husband—a lady who has so much as lost her way in this fucked world, a world where a woman cannot simply be without one. Your mother was simply being kind.”
“I did not mean…” Anthony’s posture softened, even just a bit, words caught in his throat.
“But you did,” she pointed. “If you hadn’t meant it, you wouldn’t have said it. My, Lord Bridgerton, you certainly have a way with words, much like you always have, it seems.”
“I beg your pardon?”
She looked at the clock. “I must take my leave. I am expected to be back home soon, the estate certainly cannot run itself, seeing as my husband,” she nearly spat the word, “has left it to my care. What a thoughtful man he was.”
“I—Lady Barlow,” Anthony started, unsure of where he was going with it. “Please accept my apologies.”
“Keep them,” she smiled. “They are nearly as useless as you are. Excuse me.” Lady Barlow opened the door with haste, nodding to the staff members who were waiting outside. Her lady’s maid, Meg, followed only a few steps behind her, her attention caught on the wounded viscount in blue.
Anthony practically dissolved into the arm chair, unsure of what to do next. He had half a mind to go to his study to drink, to pour over the invoices that had him enter this room in the first place. His interactions with Lady Barlow usually left him buzzing, his blood boiling and his ego only partially wounded. How he was left feeling so defeated was beyond him.
“A way with words?” He mumbled to himself. “I never wish to understand that woman.”
Yet, a part of him nearly screamed the opposite.
How peculiar.  
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windvexer · 3 months
Text
the Chicken furthermore tries to convince you to practice sorcery in a fun and fulfilling way
There is a difference between practicing goal-oriented practical sorcery, and placing the entire value of your sorcery on whether or not you achieved the goal. One of these things is soul-crushing.
Practicing sorcery should be it's own reward. The actual steps you are performing should be stuff that you like, or thrills you, or captures your fascination. As an activity, practicing sorcery should be satisfying regardless of whether or not the spellwork manifests properly.
If the sorcery on your plate is not satisfying, compost it and return to the endless buffet and try a different type of sorcery.
If you do not have the things you need, your first step to a spell becomes innovation. What is the purpose of the thing in the spell, and how can it be replaced?
A spell can be cast with a length of string, or a paper and pen. Or with a bit of crayon. Or a dead fly. Or with just you.
Sorcerous knowledge tends to reveal itself when the clutter of correspondences is placed aside, so having few things to practice with is not a curse.
You do not need an interpersonal spiritual friendship with every single spirit you want to work with in magic. YOU DO NOT.
Interpersonal friend relationships with spirits should probably be reserved for very special spirits in your "inner court," the beings with which you choose to share your life and that you honor as teachers and guides.
Many spirits are pleased to assist with magic, but have no interest in getting to know us personally.
Imagine if everyone in your askbox wanted to ask you for help on something you're knowledgeable about, but instead of just asking for help, they first wanted to DM you for a few weeks to make sure you're comfortable with being asked for help, meanwhile on your correspondence chart pinned post it says "I can help with [topic]! Just ask!"
Asking spirits for help in magic is a good, valid way to start building a relationship with them.
Repeatedly calling on the same spirit or type of spirit over and over in spellwork is a fantastic way to deepen your relationship with them.
Working with a spirit in magic does not mean you are obligated to build a shrine to it, venerate it, talk to it outside of spellwork, or any of that.
Practicing sorcery is not the same thing as casting a spell. Practicing sorcery also means practicing the composite skills which come together to make a spell.
A spell is like a completed painting. But to make that painting, the artist needed several skills: the ability to sketch the scene, knowledge of how to apply and work with their paint, color theory, an understanding of how to render landscapes, and so forth. As a sorcerer, your skillset might be imbuing intent, raising energy, centering and grounding, practicing trance, practicing psychism or divination, etc. As you gain familiarity with these things, spells become less like an imposing stranger, and more like someone you're sure you've met before.
Practice can be it's own reward, but discipline is often required for progress.
Raising energy once a day, forever? I think not.
Raising energy once a day for seven days? Or, dedicating to doing it a total of ten times this month? Perhaps so.
An artist may not be in love with every single step of the process, and sometimes a sorcerer may have to get good at a skill that's not their favorite. But if no part of the process sparks joy, then something is wrong.
Sucking at something is the first step to being kind of good at something. Be reasonable with yourself: does the beginner artist doodle a landscape, then look at their work and declare that their art "doesn't work"?
Not every witch is talented at every sort of sorcery. Not creating a potent prosperity spell after five tries doesn't mean you're bad at magic. It might mean that your current understanding of prosperity magic precludes good results, or that you are casting on one very intransigent situation, or that your true talents lie in destruction and chaos instead of peaceful growth.
Set practice goals, give it an honest go, and move on when the time is right: "I am going to practice raising Fire energy and putting it into this stone using the Pore Breathing method. I'm going to do it fifteen times." (3 months later): "That sucked and it never worked, but I did it all fifteen times. Next I'm going to do a grounded roots visualization and use it to channel water energy to cleanse my room." (10 days later): "That was awesome, I want to do it more than 15 times."
Play around and be silly with it. Taking your path seriously is not the same thing as taking your path somberly.
Sports teams practice drills to be ready for game day. Sorcerers are wise to take a page from their book, because when real-life game day arrives, it feels much better to deal with it when you know you've been having pretty good success with channeling water energies, so maybe it's best to do something with that, because you can't move fire for dick.
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