#anyway i feel like if i continue it will get less comprehensible

[nattikay]

Shoutout to my mom who let me dump a bunch of spoilers on her so I could cry about Neteyam. Finally had the chance to get all that sobbing that dehydration robbed me of yesterday out of my system, and I’m feeling a little better now. I mean, the situation still makes me sad, but I don’t think I’ll continue to have my eyes suddenly start leaking every other hour like they did for most of today. :’)

so uuuhhh now that I’ve more or less gotten over that hurdle, I can finally sit down and make a post about all the other stuff from the movie! So here’s a list of some of the other thoughts and observations I had, not exactly comprehensive cuz this is all coming after 24 hours of grieving so I may not remember every single little thought I had, but here we go anyways (also tagging @tenebrius-excellium cuz you said you wanted to hear my thoughts):

-I just want to watch the first five or so minutes on loop for a while (although maybe without the cuts to Neytiri singing the songcord because 🥲, good golly the moment I saw that shot I, already being familiar with the lore behind songcords, was like oh NOOOOO), just the scenes of those ~14 peaceful years where the kids are growing up and the RDA is gone and everyone is happy together and it’s all just so sweet, this is the content I want, I want more of it, please pretty please, I know it’ll be a while before all the gif-makers are able to get a hold of those scenes but man as soon as they do goodness gracious I’m just gonna stare at it all for hours 😭

-While I was already assuming that the Metkayina didn’t actually know English and that we the audience were only hearing English for convenience, I was expecting that issue not to be directly addressed. So I was pleasantly surprised when it was subtly addressed with Jake’s voiceover about now being familiar enough with the Na’vi language to understand it as easily English as the audio of the kids bickering swapped from Na’vi to English. Theory confirmed!

-Speaking of the Na’vi language, I did feel very excited because I was able to understand some of the unsubtitled lines, which was a goal! so yay!! I mean, I didn’t understand every Na’vi line spoken (some of the longer ones I’ll definitely have to listen to more than once to piece together), but to even understand any of it at all, especially the ones without subtitles, felt very awesome!! dopamine rush babey!!!

-And on that note, the fact that Quaritch of all characters was making an effort to learn the language really surprised me! He struck me as the type of character to not give two craps about that sort of thing but hey. I definitely got a kick of out of Spider absolutely roasting him for his lack of skills hrh (note, I very most certainly do not condone actually mocking new learners making mistakes, obviously, but seeing as this is Quaritch we’re talking about...^^”) Spider’s line here was also a place I even managed to catch a subtitle discrepancy -- iirc, the subtitles read “You sound like a three-year-old!” but the actual line was nga plltxe na ‘eveng ahì’i! you speak like a small child! Which, I mean, y’know, same gist, but it was cool to be able to understand the actual words!! I also greatly enjoyed Spider trying to teach Quaritch the distinction between na and nga, just because man that’s one of those things every learner has been through, idk it was delightful to watch it go down between canon characters hrh

-Speaking of Quaritch and Spider....wow, I was surprised just how early they dropped the “Quartich’s son” bomb. That had been a pretty popular and plausible theory for a while, but I was expecting it to either be left up to interpretation or used as a bombshell later in the film. But nope, from the get-go it’s pretty heavily implied that not only is Quaritch Spider’s biological father, but that they’re both aware of this. So. Yeah, that was certainly a surprise.

-Kiri “I would rather drink acid than have Norm be my biological father” good gracious girl! like I mean yes the idea that Norm and Grace were secretly hookin’ up is obviously preposterous, but what did Norm ever do to you to deserve that reaction ^^; haha

-I mentioned in my High Ground post the three primary theories on Kiri’s origins. Having now seen the movie, I now think the mystical-Eywa-conception theory is by far the most likely. However, canonically it still remains a mystery/up to interpretation. Perhaps we’ll get more answers in movie 3...

-Y’know what, vulgarity is not typically my type of humor, but Lo’ak flippin’ Quaritch the double bird when asked to let him see his fingers did get a chuckle out of me hrh

-hey um yo the Metkayina kids were absolute JERKS, what the heck?? like good golly heckin’ rude. Except for Tsireya she’s chill I like her :)

-Personally I don’t think the story of this movie is a total rehash of the first one overall, but I can very mostly definitely see how people would consider it so. There were several lines in two scenes in particular, the one where the Sullies arrive at the Metkayina clan and the one with the tulkun hunters, that were just soooooo similar to lines from the first movie, not quite verbatim but certainly awkwardly close. I can absolutely see this becoming a common complaint from internet critics.

-Tuk pretty much solely exists to make the audience go d’awwwww!!, and y’know what, that’s ok because boy did she succeed :’)

-unfortunately, Quaritch’s ikran has by far the coolest design of all the ikrans, like bruh that color palette is heckin’ dope. what a shame ur now stuck with this jerk lol. Though I did snicker at Quaritch feeling the need to bond with the ikran “the hard way” solely because he couldn’t stand to be outdone by Jake lol

-I liked Lo’ak and Payakan’s friendship, it was very sweet. Also very interesting design-wise that a tulkun’s queue is in his mouth, and that the mouth has more of those bioluminescent patterns on the inside.

-The fact that the tulkun hunters are 100% aware that the species they’re hunting is fully sapient feels very ick to me. Sir that’s...that’s murder. Good gracious. and um “tulkun brain juice stops human aging” wh...what?? can uh...can we get some more explanation on that??? like is that gonna be somehow relevant to later movies or is it just some arbitrary thing to make the brain juice valuable, valuable enough to attempt to justify murder idk but uh....yyyyyyeah 😬

-minor thing, but I was surprised that the swimming baby from the trailer was, in fact, not Ronal’s. In fact, we never actually meet Ronal’s baby, which, again, surprised me. Why make her pregnant if we don’t get to see the baby, it feels kinda random ^^; to link her to her spirit tulkun who just had a calf I guess?? idk. once again, maybe it’ll become more relevant in movie 3.

-until proven otherwise, I am heretofore declaring that final “a son for a son” line to be Spider’s official adoption into the Sully family 😭😭😭

anyways, I guess that’ll do for now. I’m sure there was other stuff but I’ve been sitting here typing for over an hour already. Perhaps later I’ll come back with more comments, idk. I’ll be seeing the movie again next week with the rest of my family, so maybe I’ll notice different things/remember stuff that got swallowed up in the feels. Will I cry more than I did on my first viewing because I’m gonna try not to go in dehydrated again, or less because by then I’ll have had a week to process and accept everything? I have literally no idea. Guess we’ll have to just wait and see...

#awow spoilers #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water

[killerheelsonadiscodancefloor]

seeing with new eyes | egon spengler x reader

author’s note: so hi! this is my first little story i’m posting on here, very exciting stuff! i love love love requests so feel free to hit me with them :) i’m planning on putting together more of a comprehensive list of what i write for and such, but for now, ghostbusters fanfic

warnings: purposeful lowercase, jealousy, distant egon, flirting to make someone jealous, possibly ooc (it’s the first time in writing for ghostbusters), lmk if you guys see any i missed

it had only been a few weeks that i had been working with the ghostbusters to help janine take calls and make appointments, and thus far, they were the most exciting few weeks of my life.

i could hardly remember what my day-to-day was like before i scored my job at the fire station. coming in every day at eight to help janine schedule appointments, starting the coffee brewing for the boys, making sure the proton packs were ready for the specters they would face that day. it was all a routine that flowed so well it was practically second nature.

i even fit in well with janine and the ghostbusters themselves. well, almost all of them anyway.

there was ray, with his kind eyes and bright smile, who had immediately gone out of his way to welcome me to the station. he gave me the tour, teaching me all the little tricks along the way- “if you ever have business around here later at night, that stair kinda creaks—peter hasn’t gotten around to getting it fixed yet, you know how that is,” -and always made sure to keep me in the loop regarding information that referred to before i was hired. ray was easy to joke with and fun to share a snack with on our lunch break.

then, of course, winston. he understood better than anyone else what it felt like to join the gang a little later and made sure i knew he was always available to chat with. while spending time with him i learned more of the practical parts of hunting ghouls, “just in case!” he always said. winston was also one to not sugarcoat things and had pulled me aside after my interview to kindly but seriously caution me as to what the job entailed. i cherished the time we spent walking to the local sub shop and fixing up the ecto-1 together.

peter was an unavoidable presence around the station, although not an unwelcome one. the whole flirtatious douchebag bit he had going was a lot less obnoxious once i got to know the snarky but sweet man that laid behind it. peter was truly devoted to dana and seeing them together put a smile on face; this was due in part to how nice it was to see the two in love, but also because it gave me ammunition to make fun of him with. we playfully messed with each other often, switching between several of our running jokes in the same conversation—much to the confusion of the others.

and finally. the ghostbuster that seemed none too fond of me at all: egon. i admired him greatly for all of the things he’d invented while discovering more scientific information about ghosts than anyone in the field before him. and, sure, maybe i also admired the way his hair fell into his face when he was examining a new specimen and the way his eyes lit up as he jotted new findings down into the various notebooks he had scattered about. but that’s not very relevant. at least, that’s what i try to tell myself and janine. but after my first week working here, our interactions had been extremely limited.

———

while on my tour from ray, we wandered down to the lab. “this is the spot egon frequents, so if you ever need to find him, this is the best place to look.” ray informs me in a quiet undertone. the stark contrast in the boisterous way he’d been speaking upstairs sobered me. suddenly this whole operation felt much more serious-more real, even. we continued further into the room from the staircase to find egon bent over a microscope.

“egon!” ray greets with a slap on his friend’s shoulder. “ray.” egon mumbles back distractedly. his brows furrow as he adjusts the magnification on the equipment, before moving back and shaking his head.

“hard at work figuring out the molecular breakdown of that goo?” i ask, testing a joke to gage just how professional egon truly was.

while ray smiles, egon merely stares. he seems to be at a loss for words as he considers me and before i can apologize, he rushes out, “yes, actually. we got this when peter got, well, ‘slimed,’ we’ll call it. figuring out it’s exact components could help leaps and bounds in figuring out how exactly these specters manifest and what we can do to stop the influx new york has had thrust upon it.”

“oh! so this is definitely some, uh, important ectoplasm then. i have to admit, i don’t know much on the science side of all of this. would you mind if i borrowed your notes sometime?” i asked, shifting my feet. while it was slightly painful for me to have to ask egon for help understanding, i figured, who better than the brains of the bunch? if i was going to be working here for the foreseeable future, it would be good to have a deeper understanding of the creatures i’d be (indirectly) dealing with.

again, egon hit me with that look, as though he’s never seen something like me before. after an awkwardly long beat of silence, ray nudged egon with his elbow. egon suddenly sprung back to life, quickly maneuvering himself off of his stool and to a desk on the other side of the lab. he grabbed a stapled packet of paper and arrived in front of me, offering it to me with a fully extended arm. “it’s a thesis of sorts, you can read it before i submit it to the new york times.” egon says after i take it, tucking it gingerly into my bag.

i expressed my appreciation and shook his still outstretched hand, introducing myself despite the fact that janine told me she had already told all the guys about me. egon shot me a tight smile, and sensing rather than guessing that he wanted to get back to his ectoplasm, ray moved forward to continue my tour.

three days later, i ventured down to the lab on my own to return egon’s thesis. despite his occasionally overly scientific language, the paper had been a good read. i told him as much when i handed him the papers, making my best attempt at ignoring the flutter in my heart when our fingers brushed. “you thought so? it’s good to hear, peter was saying it may be too advanced for ‘normal people,’” at this point, he did air-quotes with his fingers and i tried my hardest not to be endeared by it. “i think he was just messing with me, ray agreed with me that it was a good middle ground of being too academic and too simple.”

with a jolt, i realized his dark eyes were directed to me for my opinion. “definitely! anything that was kind of complicated, you can deduce through the context. and from what i can tell, peter is always messing with everyone, i wouldn’t take his critiques too seriously.” i reassured, a broad smile on my face as i did so. egon opened his mouth to respond when the siren blared, signaling the beginning of a new case and then end to our conversation.

“well, i’ll catch you later! maybe you can brief me on your goo findings.” i added a wink at the end, trying to get a bit more friendly with the doctor. he stumbled his way through a goodbye before leaving the lab-not seeming to realize that he had his suit down here.

———

since that day, it seemed like egon was avoiding me. i wasn’t sure what i had done wrong. maybe the way i joked about his work? but no, he’d seemed fine when i did that before. the fact that i’d read his thesis? then again, egon had been the one to offer it to me.

i took my concerns to ray, where they were promptly overheard by peter.

“don’t worry your pretty little head about it, newbie. egon gets freaked about my jokes all the time and we still put up with each other!” he said bracingly, shaking my shoulders to make his point.

ray looked as though he wanted to interject, but winston called him from downstairs. he grinned apologetically and slid down the pole to see why his friend was calling him. before long, peter and i were sharing the left over lo mein on the table and discussing golden girls (a guilty pleasure of his.)

egon entered midway through this conversation without even glancing our way. he began to brew a new pot of coffee with his eyes fixed sternly on the machine. i felt a frown tug at my lips before i was able to pull myself away from analyzing this behavior and back to peter’s reasoning about how sophia was the best character. something was different though, i noted as peter scooted his chair closer to mine. my mind switched rapidly between peter’s sudden flirtatious behavior as he hooked his foot around mine to egon’s tense shoulders and white-knuckle grip on the cabinet.

“what do you think?” peter’s voice drew my eyes to him as i tried (and failed) to not notice egon in my peripheral. “about sophia.” he prompted again.

“oh, well i guess i would agree with you-” i began, before peter whooped excitedly.

“yes! i knew there was a reason i liked you!” he proclaimed, snatching my hand up and pressing a dramatic kiss to it. i raised my eyebrows at his prolonged eye contact before drawing my hand away with a chuckle.

“peter, we both know you only like me for my pretty face.” i joked. “well, it certainly doesn’t hurt.” he fired back quickly. suddenly egon snatched the whole pot of coffe, turning swiftly on his heel and closing the door harshly on his way out. “sheesh. looks like someone’s a tad jealous. you know, for egon being the scientist here, i’d sure love to study his brain. not for his supposed genius either.” peter scoffed good-naturedly.

i blinked at him in shock. “jealous? egon? no way.” i denied easily. the guy was extremely pragmatic and intelligent, i doubted he would let something so petty effect him. that and he’s completely avoided me the past couple weeks.

“watch, i’ll show you.” peter insisted. i stared at him before finally relenting with a roll of my eyes. “what’s in it for you anyway?” i asked. “well, an opportunity to bother egon, not to mention flirt with a beautiful lady-” i cut him off quickly, “goodbye peter!”

and so peter’s plan commenced. he flirted with me to apparently make egon jealous, despite the fact that i was sure egon despised me. when i told ray how ridiculous i felt this whole charade was, he agreed but chimed in with something that shook me. “although, if this is what it takes to get egon to make a move, i guess it’ll be worth it.”

i spluttered in shock. “what? it’s true! me and the other guys are sick of him being too skittish to do anything but stare at you.” ray continued as if he hasn’t just flipped my world upside down.

before i could retort, the door swung open and egon, the man of the hour, entered. ray quickly switched the topic to our shared favorite snack, cheez-itz. i stared incredulously at the choice in conversation but he gave me a look back that said ‘just go with it.’ we continued talking about cheez-itz until he left the room. “that was ridiculous.” i mumbled, putting my head down on my arms. ray patted my shoulder sympathetically, unable to reassure me because it really had been.

the following day, there was a new box of cheez-itz on my desk. i stopped a couple of feet away to examine the scene. “what’s the matter with you? you’re blocking the space.” janine said as she steered me to my desk. i silently pointed at the box.

“oh. huh.” she said, apparently also stumped. “wasn’t there yesterday.” i mumbled. she hummed as she took in the scene, before we flinched in shock as ray roughly opened the door. “(y/n)— oh, did you get more cheez-itz?” he asked reaching for the box.

“no, i guess someone… got them for me.” i concluded with a smile. ray handed them over with a shrug. “wasn’t me.” him and janine chorused. i shook my head. that much had been obvious. i sank into my chair as i tried to figure out who would gift these to me, when peter strolled in.

“venkman! what is this, some sort of courting gift?” i asked with a raised brow. “courting g—what are you talking about?” peter replied in bewilderment. i held up the cheez-itz in answer. “ah, no. not from me anyway. also you’re gonna have a visitor soon—” before he could finish speaking, egon hurriedly enters the room with winston trailing behind him.

“so there’s a party and no one invited me? real cold.” winston joked, coming to stand next to ray at my desk. before any of us could retort, egon turns to me and clears his throat.

“could i talk to you, (y/n)?” he asks, eyes shifting from me to the rest of the room.

i blinked in surprise. what was with these guys and catching me off guard today? “um, sure!” i replied, standing up so quickly that my chair rolled back. egon nodded appreciatively and walked back out into the stairwell. with a nervous glance at janine and the guys, i followed.

i shut the door behind me, finding egon standing tensely in the hallway. “are you alright?” i asked gently. he looked at me contemplatively before asking, “did you know peter is attracted to you?”

my eyebrows raised in shock. egon took this to mean no and continued. “that’s the reason he’s asked you out to dinner. he wants it to be a date.” he stared at me as he waited for my response. “oh. huh.” i said intelligently. i hadn’t been informed of this plan. i guess peter may have just started saying whatever he could to make egon jealous. i refocused when i saw egon take a deep breath in.

“do you want it to be a date?” his voice was strained. “um, i’m not sure. i guess i’d have to think about it.” i trailed off uncertainly. egon’s gaze lingered on my fidgeting hands before he burst out, “(y/n), i’d like to tell you something before you consider this date with peter. i… i have feelings for you.”

my mouth parted as i stared at him in complete shock. sure, i’d been told that egon liked me. peter had even started this whole scheme to prove it. but i never really thought it was possible. now though…

“well. this definitely changes things.” i mumbled, my mind going a thousand miles a minute. egon seemed uneasy and maybe regretful. “i-i’m sorry if i’ve ruined things—”

“you haven’t.” i replied firmly. i stepped closer and took his hand in mine. egon’s dark eyes searched mine before he slowly leaned in, bringing the hand not holding mine to rest against my collar bone and play with my hair. a smile involuntarily curled my lips up until i couldn’t contain myself anymore. swiftly, my hand caught his tie and i pulled him to me until our lips pressed together.

egon’s hand moved from mine up to my back and he pressed me closer to him, deepening the kiss with the new angle. i brought my other arm around his shoulders to keep my balance. he was a bit taller than me, and kissing him had me on my tip toes.

“does this mean we aren’t going out this weekend?” venkman’s pouty voice broke me and egon apart. his grip on my waist tightened slightly. “the jig is up peter. you can go crawling back to dana now.” i snickered. “yeah, well, sacrifices needed to be made. she’s been waiting on you two to get together longer than me.” peter replied with an overly dramatic roll of his eyes. he exited with a ‘you’re welcome!’ called over his shoulder. loud cheers erupted after he entered the room again.

“going off all the noise, i guess everyone knows we’re together now.” i hummed, turning to look back at egon. he stood with a puzzled furrow between his brows. “so all of the flirting peter’s been doing, it was all to make me jealous?” he asked. “yeah, he said there was no way you’d confess otherwise.”

at egon’s scoff, i raised an eyebrow. “well, would you have? confessed?” i inquired with a grin. his silence was answer enough. i began to giggle while egon merely shook his head and pulled me closer. “maybe venkman’s smarter than we all think.” he mumbled into my hair. i only laughed harder at this, clutching egon’s shoulders.

“so, wait—” i said, pulling away so that i could see egon. “the cheez-itz, were those you?” i asked in wonder. egon ducked his head, smiling bashfully. i gasped dramatically. “look at you being all romantic with the secret admirer stuff!”

egon moved closer once more, pressing another gentle kiss to my lips. “well, it’s not so secret anymore.” he whispered, before i pulled him in once more. at least now i knew that egon definitely didn’t dislike me.

tags! @maraudermap000

#egon spengler x reader #egon spengler one-shot #egon x reader #ghostbusters fanfiction #ghostbusters x reader

[vvatchword]

Paradise Lost, Book 2 (Non-Zoot Edition): Sin Addresses Satan; Satan Allies with Chaos

I'm not zooted for this one, I just want to talk about it.

Keep in mind this is flow-of-consciousness, so I write down exactly what I think, and then later I sometimes discover i am wrong roflll

“O Father, what intends thy hand,” she cried, Against thy only Son? What fury O Son, Possesses thee to bend that mortal Dart Against thy Father’s head? And know’st for whom; For him who sits above and laughs the while At thee ordain’d his drudge, to execute What e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice, bids, His wrath which one day will destroy ye both.”

“To execute/what e’er his wrath, which he calls Justice” is a metal line and she IS NOT LYING

I am continually struck by how all of these characters have not only acknowledged that God cannot be defeated, they’ve always known God couldn’t be defeated. They still fought him anyway. If I were reading this in a less fantastic setting, I would be like: “M-hmm I feel like a few important documents are missing.”

Another interesting trait: all of these characters know the future. Sometimes it’s awkward—for example, they spend most of Book 2 trying to figure out what to do after falling from heaven, then wax eloquent about events that haven’t happened yet.

It’s hard to know how much was intentional here, and how much was just done in the spirit of the thing, but you know that saying: “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”? (2 Peter 3:8) It’s like these characters are not only devil-and-angel at once, but also every form of themselves from beginning to end. They haven’t yet committed horrors on the human race, but they also have. (This is not free will.)

This book makes constant asides as to God’s greatness. Everybody stops to talk him up—and by “everybody,” I mean “every single devil who gets a speech.” We haven’t had a single “good guy” yet: the only glory given to God that has been from a non-devil is Milton himself. While speaking of God, the devils’ tones rarely feel sullen or angry; instead, they feel very rote and matter-of-fact, as though they’re reading lines out of an encyclopedia. This is just the way the world is, and all the characters accept what is natural.

That’s dissonant on multiple levels. First, these devils literally JUST tried to overthrow Heaven (aka the ideal version of the world, the world-as-it-should-be). Second, given how absolutely broken the devils sound when they give their speeches—the ways they attempt to soothe themselves and comprehend their failure, added to their sudden comprehension of time (did eternity need to be invoked in heaven or Paradise until the birth of pain?)—these acknowledgments of God’s superiority ring false, like another scribe popped in and wrote BUT DON’T WORRY—

I’m trying to figure out Milton’s motivations here. Did he want to reassure the reader, the publisher, a religious authority, or himself? Keep in mind this was published back in a day where “freedom of expression” was not a thing.

By invoking the importance of the monarchy over and over, this may be Milton's attempt to say: "Mr. King sir, this is not supposed to be a story about your overthrow. Please do not kill me."

I’ve also started wondering about the political realities of when this was published. This feels extremely Protestant. Hey Wikipedia whaddaya say

[Milton scholar John] Leonard speculates that the English Civil War interrupted Milton's earliest attempts to start his “epic [poem] that would encompass all space and time”.

YEAH THERE IT IS

This book was published in 1667… by Peter Parker. Aw yeah :) With great power comes great abuse :))))

I also didn’t know Milton was freaking blind! You know, that fits; the story’s rhythm begs to be read out loud. I love the imagery that painters came up with: Milton dictating Paradise Lost to his daughters. I don’t know that this actually happened, but it’s kinda cool. Sounds like a callback to Homer so I’m a little wary—you know how people are.

Milton Dictating to His Daughter, Henry Fuseli (1794)

I bet this is exactly how he looked too.

HEEEGUUUGGHRRRHHHHH

Also, I just discovered that CS Lewis wrote a preface to Paradise Lost. I adored him as a child. I’m definitely reading that at some point.

Anyway, want to go back to reading Paradise Lost? I DO. Remember where we were? The snake-assed lady whose vagine is a Cerberi doghouse? Well, the devil asks who she and this Dart-wielding shade are…

Without research, I’m guessing the “dart” is a spear. The other option is an arrow, which sounds significantly less dangerous, and no bow is mentioned. I mean, you can still stab someone to death with an arrow, it just seems kinda silly. It’s like running at someone and jamming a bullet into their eye.

Of course, it may be meant to be an arrow. There’s a famous image in Revelations I can’t stop thinking about: the white horseman (commonly interpreted as Jesus—Revelation 6:2) comes out with a bow, but no arrows or quiver.

Holy shit, if you put Jesus and Death together you get a bow and an arrow and the arrow is death

I’m just kidding please ignore everything I say

[The devil asks: who the fuck are you guys and why are you calling me father?] T’ whom thus the Portress of Hell Gate reply’d: “Hast thou forgot me then, and do I seem Now in thine eye so foul, once deem’d so fair In Heav’n, when at th’ Assembly, and in sight Of all the Seraphim with thee combin’d In bold conspiracy against Heav’n’s King, All on a sudden miserable pain Surpris’d thee, dim thine eyes, and dizzy swum In darkness, while thy head flames thick and fast Threw forth, ’til on the left side op’ning wide, Likest to thee in shape and count’nance bright, Then shining heav’nly fair, a Goddess arm’d Out of thy head I sprung: amazement seiz’d All th’ Host of Heav’n; back they recoil’d afraid At first, and call’d me Sin, and for a Sign Portentous held me…

Suddenly, allegory!

I’ve been researching allegory lately—not well, and piecemeal—but I’ve been interested in its function, as well as what makes a good allegory and what makes a bad one. Now, before this point, I would have said that an allegory encloses the entire narrative, not just a part of it. But here we have traditional characters (Satan, Beelzebub, etc), all of whom Milton intended as representations of real spiritual beings, and all of a sudden: the allegorical representations of Sin and Death. They are not just characters, they are concepts—and yet I’d say they belong here. I feel like I can almost put a finger on why…

Was Milton a Biblical literalist? I really don’t know. There are most likely cultural and historical differences I’m missing here. I’m sure that, if Milton were a literalist, it would not be like that of the evangelicals we see today. Evangelical literalism is a particularly stupid, flat kind, and I’m not sure it was that simple back in 1660s England.

Another neat little factoid: a lot of Paradise Lost heralds back to the epic poetry of the Greeks and Romans, right? Who else sprang fully-formed from a forehead? Athena from Zeus! So this is a great callback and recontextualizing of an old myth, setting Lucifer on par with The Rapist King.

One big theme of Book 1’s was that all the other gods of the world are demons—every one of them. So Sin popping out, appearing godlike—for a moment, just like Satan himself—is a hell of a backslap. Athena was a virgin god of wisdom. You’re about to see what happens to Sin (hint: she’s a ho)

I suppose it is also possible that this is an attempt of Milton’s to represent an evolution of theology. Speaking of CS Lewis: Lewis believed that all Classical myth was composed of spiritual half-truths—like the ancient pagan faiths of the improperly-godded Classical peoples were reaching for that absolute truth of Christ, and were unable to because he hadn’t been born yet. According to Lewis, all these old faiths would ultimately be brought together under the umbrella of the Christian God’s single one. It’s one reason why Chronicles of Narnia is full of mythological beasts particular to the Greeks and Romans.

What do you mean, “what about the Jews? Weren’t the Jews around in ancient Rome? And at the time of ancient Greece for that matter?” Girl I don’t remember it’s been a minute and this is just me talking shit into the ether and I’m not even zooted right now

“…but familiar grown, I pleas’d, and with attractive graces won The most averse, thee chiefly, who full oft Thyself in me thy perfect image viewing Becam’st enamour’d, and such joy thou took’st With me in secret, that my womb conceiv’d A growing burden.

“Proshippers DNI/Sinatan shippers DNI”

Can we please appreciate “my womb conceiv’d/a growing burden.” That’s so pretty.

“Meanwhile War arose, And fields were fought in Heav’n; wherein remain’d (For what could else) to our Almighty Foe Clear Victory, to our part loss and rout Through all the Empyrean…

Back to the devil and his minions throwing in little asides about how great God is. Does this feel weird to you, too? It’s disingenuous. Every time you’re just about to accept the demons and hell-born as characters with full interior worlds, they give up on themselves. Characters should be selfish, self-oriented, self-protective. These characters keep stopping to bare their throats.

So why did these demons turn against God if they knew they were going to fail?

I mention this because Paradise Lost waffles about “free will” a lot. At first, I thought the devil mentioned “free choice” because “choice” was an inherently fallen concept, but then I remembered that Adam has a whole conversation with an angel and “free will” is uttered as a benefit.

Here’s a fun verse—one of many, they’re everywhere—that Milton was probably trying to invoke:

The Lord has made everything for its own purpose, even the wicked for the day of evil. Proverbs 16:4

That’s very cool. thanks God. Hey free will isn’t free if you brutally punish anyone who sticks a toe out of your arbitrary line you fucking asshole

“…down they fell Driv’n headlong from the Pitch of Heaven, down Into this Deep…

If you repeat this line out loud, it will heal you of all wounds. How do poets talk about this shit properly? I don’t have the language to describe why it’s good. It hurts, it’s so tasty. I started salivating like this was a delicious cookie. That delicious alliteration. Those hard d’s. HEA(D)long, then HEA(V)en. Soft f’s (fell, from). “Driv’n”, then “Heaven.” “Down” repeated twice, both times beginning a phrase. Long phrase, short phrase—the long fall, the hard stop; hard “d” to soft “v.” You can feel the drop.

I don’t know how to explain this so say it out loud ok

“…and in the general fall I also; at which time this powerful Key Into my hand was giv’n, with charge to keep These Gates for ever shut, which none can pass Without my op’ning.”

A woman who is also an opening. That’s really neat. Oh shit Jesus knocks down the gates of hell, right? Does this imply yet more rape or… yeeeeahhhhhh

Again, I’m struck by how the wicked are the tools of God as soon as the angels are. Why does Sin have to keep this key? What stops her from tossing that shit away? What stops her from opening the gates of Hell and leaving?

The glib answer is, “God does.” However, this wouldn’t be completely fair to say. Allegorical limitations apply here: Sin is not a full character.

Now, as Sin is a concept in this case, it’s like she’s transformed Satan into an allegorical concept by proxy: only by Sin might we allow Satan in. Nice.

It’s like… a tiny allegorical universe for a moment. A wee allegorical nugget.

“Pensive here I sat Alone, but long I sat not, ’til my womb Pregnant by thee, and now excessive grown Prodigious motion felt and rueful throes.

No. No I hate this. Stop

“At last this odious offspring whom thou seest Thine own begotten, breaking violent way Tore through my entrails…

remember Alien? Unfortunate

“…that with fear and pain Distorted, all my nether shape thus grew Transform’d: but he my inbred enemy…

I know we’re very grossed out but can we appreciate this use of the word “inbred” for a moment

“Forth issu’d, brandishing his fatal Dart Made to destroy: I fled, and cri’d out ‘Death’; Hell trembl’d at the hideous Name, and sigh’d From all her Caves, and back resounded ‘Death.’

Remember the “execrable shape” and the “miscreated Front”? I laughed about it, but Milton was being literal: what else could the devil say about Death? Death is a haze without meaningful form. Death can take whatever form he needs to do what he must. And, in this case, Death is greater than his father. He’s an anti-Jesus.

I also love the use of echo. The feeling of resignation and acceptance… just mwah, mwah.

“I fled, but he pursu’d (though more, it seems, Inflam’d with lust than rage) and swifter far, Me overtook—his mother!—all dismayed, And in embraces forcible and foul Engend’ring with me, of that rape begot These yelling Monsters that with ceaseless cry Surround me, as thou sawst, hourly conceiv’d And hourly born…”

Oh no. Oh no no no. Noooooo

So for the record, this is Death repeatedly raping Sin, who then gives birth to dogs on the hour, every hour, for the rest of eternity. Why dogs? Because nobody wants that.

Let’s take a step back from the allegory for a second, because we can. What did Sin do that was wrong? She was literally formed without choice. She had no choice in her nature and she had no choice in what happened to her. It’s debatable she wanted to fuck Satan. It is possible she did nothing but be born and ravished.

Yes I know she’s a concept, but she’s also playing a character here. If you didn’t want me to feel sorry for Sin you shouldn’t have made her a person. Also, the way Sin is being treated is considered an acceptable punishment. The devil characters, who can be treated purely as characters, are being punished by Milton in what he perceives as acceptable ways, and it’s arguable his audience would think similarly.

If God can treat the devils like this, there's no reason he can't treat us like this.

God is a fucking monster y’all. He’s the equivalent of every redneck who fantasizes about killing an Evildoer. Except then he MADE the Evildoer so he could purposely kill them. Worse than that: he made the Evildoer so he could make them suffer.

You ever see someone write so well they fuck up their own propaganda

“…with sorrow infinite To me, for when they list into the womb That bred them they return, and howl and gnaw My bowels, their repast; then burst forth Afresh with conscious terrors vex me ’round, That rest or intermission none I find.

Heeeyyyy are you supposed to feel sorry for Sin?

According to a quote of CS Lewis’ (from Wikipedia. Again, I’m not trying to do a great job here, I’m just fucking around, who even gives a shit), contemporaries of Paradise Lost would have known there were moments they were Supposed to Feel Certain Things, and that the Devil would be considered Bad right away, without any character-building whatsoever.

This is absolutely true. I’m coming to this slow realization that Paradise Lost exhibits traits of both modern narratives—where a character’s quality is SHOWN by their behavior, which includes their dialogue, which may not be trustworthy—and those of allegories, an older literary form. Allegories of the old days were far more straightforward, with characters written to be as one-dimensional and obvious as possible. Nobody wanted to be misunderstood.

However, this is also such a tone-deaf and willfully stupid take that I reject it in part. Look, Lewis was smart, but he would twist himself into a pretzel before he’d admit God could be a fucker: contemporary readers of this book definitely had problems with the devil’s part, and the devil’s complex qualities are part of the book’s draw. I’d argue that the devil is probably the only reason we’re still talking about Paradise Lost today—plenty of good shit was being written back in Milton’s day, and you have to dig to find it. Why did Paradise Lost not fall into a dark pit where only researchers go? It’s not because its first readers decided altogether to read it in a single manner most pleasing.

People are not monoliths guys. Movements are born and slow evolutions turned.

“Before mine eyes in opposition sits Grim Death my Son and foe, who sets them on, And me his Parent would full soon devour For want of other prey, but that he knows His end with mine involv’d; and knows that I Should prove a bitter Morsel, and his bane, When ever that shall be; so Fate pronounc’d.

This is simultaneously horrible, beautiful, and the most metal thing I’ve ever read.

Sin’s longing for cannibalism is the first overt sign of her interior monstrousness (unless she desired the incest, anyway).

This is a reminder to me that to appear ugly or distasteful was often used as a sign in old literature that someone is trash. It’s not a new concept. People confuse personal discomfort with truth all the time.

I am also reminded of the qualities of old allegorical literature. Dialogue wasn’t used to expand on a character’s inner world—it was used like an encyclopedia entry, to deliver clearcut information. The character was not a person, the character was a concept, and nobody was confused about that.

I just had an interesting thought: does Paradise Lost represent a kind of middle ground between older allegorical works and more modern character-driven works?

Wait, if she wishes she could eat Death, why did she stop him from fighting Satan

I mean, Death would win, but… I don’t know. A slave to the narrative? Yeah, probably an allegorical limitation. Allegorical symbols can’t break character or they cease being allegorical. This is one of their major limitations and it’s why writing an allegory that isn’t hamfisted is like scooping your eyes out with hot spoons. I’m starting to see how it’s unwise to just throw a random allegorical character in with a bunch of Normies: first, because they’re limited; they often can’t act like people. Second, what does that say about the rest of the narrative? It opens a can of worms. The artificial limitations of the devils suddenly becomes suspect. The allegory struggles to stretch beyond its tiny nugget prison.

“But thou O Father, I forewarn thee, shun His deadly arrow…”

Oh… ok :(

goofy-ass specter running at the devil with a goddamn arrow

I mean, it’ll work.

“…neither vainly hope To be invulnerable in those bright Arms, Though temper’d heav’nly, for that mortal dint, Save he who reigns above, none can resist.”

Every now and then, you get a hint as to how a word has evolved. Today, we think of “arms” as weaponry; here, Milton uses it to refer to “armor.” As for “dint”, it could go either as “blow, stroke” (the archaic reading, according to my dictionary) or as “force, power.” Also according to my dictionary, this is where “dent” came from (take this with a grain of salt lol).

I don’t know, it’s very cool.

She finish’d, and the subtle Fiend his lore Soon learned, now milder, and thus answer’d smooth.

I love the current-day connotations of the word “lore.” It makes this kind of funny.

Reading on, I’m honestly not sure if he believes Sin or not. You think you’d remembering fucking your brainchild. Then again, this is Hell; the characters exist in a weird between place. It’s possible that in the spirit world, concepts can be people… perhaps the nature of the spiritual is its adherence to the ideal (both ideal Wickedness and Holiness).

What makes this even harder to understand is: where does Milton intend for double-meaning and earnestness to reside? I ask because it was the style of allegories and parables to be rather straight-forward, as Lewis said. But these characters are sometimes almost modern, with clear snark and ulterior motives.

“Dear Daughter, since thou claim’st me for thy Sire, And my fair Son here showst me, the dear pledge Of dalliance had with thee in Heav’n, and joys Then sweet, now sad to mention, through dire change Befall’n us unforeseen, unthought of,

Smooth.

“…know I come no enemy, but to set free From out this dark and dismal house of pain,

Wait a minute. Is this where House of Pain got their name. IS THIS WHERE HOUSE OF PAIN

(I looked it up. It’s from HG Wells’ The Island of Dr. Moreau, which is just as weird.)

“Both him and thee, and all the heav’nly Host Of Spirits that in our just pretenses arm’d Fell with us from on high: from them I go This uncouth errand sole, with lonely steps to tread Th’ unfounded deep, and through the void immense To search with wand’ring quest…

“From there I go—this uncouth errand sole,” is what I’ll say when I’m heading out on errands from now on.

“…a place foretold Should be, and, by concurring signs, ere now Created vast and round, a place of bliss In the Purlieus of Heav’n…

I had to look up a word. “Purlieu” means “the ground on the edges of a forest, especially when partly subject to the same forest laws concerning game hunting, etc” or “the outskirts of any place; an adjacent district; the environs or neighborhood.”

I really like the implication of “at the edge of law.” That’s what God keeps coming down to—that’s what the book keeps coming back to: the battle between law and anarchy.

“…and therein plac’d A race of upstart Creatures…

fuck yeah. fuck you satan

“…to supply Perhaps our vacant room, though more remov’d, Least Heav’n surcharg’d with potent multitude Might hap to move new broiles…

I had to look up “broiles,” and in the process, discovered what may be the best dictionary of all time: Shakespeare’s Words.

“Broil” once meant “turmoil, confused fighting, battle.”

“…be this or aught Then this more secret now design’d, I haste To know, and this once known, shall soon return, And bring ye to the place where Thou and Death Shall dwell at ease…”

This section is so delicious.

First, Satan is schmoozing, 1000%. We only know this because he first talked shit to Death and Sin, and has now changed his tune. That said, it’s wildly unclear what his motivations are, half because he’s talking to literal allegorical figures. Once allegories get involved, they are stringently policed: neither Sin nor Death can be surprising to us. They will exhibit all the traits of their counterparts as understood by Milton’s version of Protestant Christianity. Their purpose is edification and education. An allegory is an encyclopedic entry given flesh.

Second, for what purpose does Satan offer these things? To pay them off? Probably. Does he offer them because he has grown a heart? No, probably not. Is he just offering what these characters want to hear? Probably. But, as you’ll soon see, he’s not lying. Does he know he’s not lying?

“…and up and down unseen Wing silently the buxom Air…

“Buxom” used to mean “lively, cheerful, bright,” not BIG OL TITTIES

“…embalm’d With odors; there ye shall be fed and fill’d Immeasurably, all things shall be your prey.”

We know, because we are inundated with Christianity in this country, that he’s telling the truth. He’s explaining that once Sin and Death are free, they’ll be free to feed on the Earth.

Is he telling what he perceives as truth, or is he promising pie in the sky?

If we were to be blitheringly flat, like Lewis, we’d recognize Satan’s speech as literal: he’s offering a promise he can keep; he understands what is going to happen before it ever happens. But because he’s complex, and started off his speech with flattery, I’m also not completely sure—I can only know by reading on and finding out if he spoke the truth.

Of equal interest: Satan is also doing right by his baby mama and weird fucking son. Sure, he’s talking shit, but he’s also taking responsibility.

Just. Kinda weird situation all told.

He ceas’d, for both seem’d highly pleas’d, and Death Grinn’d horrible a ghastly smile, to hear His famine should be fill’d, and blest his maw Destin’d to that good hour…

God I love this description. I love how Death contains “famine”, how he blesses his empty throat with promises of glut.

…no less rejoic’d His mother bad, and thus bespake her Sire. “The key of this infernal Pit by due, And by command of Heav’n’s all-powerful King I keep, by him forbidden to unlock These Adamantine Gates; against all force Death ready stands to interpose his dart, Fearless to be o’ermatched by living might.

One guy with one arrow versus everybody.

It’s all right, tell me how it goes

“But what owe I to his commands above Who hates me, and hath hither thrust me down Into this gloom of Tartarus profound, To sit in hateful Office here confin’d, Inhabitant of Heav’n, and heav’nly-born, Here in perpetual agony and pain, With terrors and with clamors compass’d round Of mine own brood, that on my bowels feed…

OH MY GOD SHE’S DOING IT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

On that note: are you saying. That if God had maybe. Not been incredibly cruel to Sin. We may not have had Sin

Lewis would say something about how Sin had made her choice, and about how the brutalities wreaked against her were her own fault somehow, and that her nature was inherently wicked, so she would be wicked even when shown mercy. Then he'd end up with "it's an allegory anyway"

The problem with this is a) Christianity is about forgiving people who have committed some real humdingers, so this is logically dissonant, and b) so far, God hasn’t just punished: he has been nasty and cruel. The only love I have seen is between devils. If this is propaganda for God it’s not doing a very good job

“Thou art my Father, thou my Author, thou My being gav’st me; whom should I obey But thee, whom follow? Thou wilt bring me soon To that new world of light and bliss, among The Gods who live at ease, where I shall Reign At thy right hand voluptuous, as beseems Thy daughter and thy darling, without end.”

YES

Kinda weird but YES

Don’t take shit from that asshole lady he sucks

Thus saying, from her side the fatal Key, Sad instrument of all our woe, she took; And towards the Gate rolling her bestial train, Forthwith the huge Portcullis high up drew, Which but her self not all the Stygian powers Could once have moved… …So wide they stood, and like a Furnace mouth Cast forth redounding smoke and ruddy flame.

I just wanted to share this for the imagery. I love the imagery of a beautiful woman on a serpent’s tail, slipping slimy and bloody over the black earth, her body broken open in a hundred places where her hungry young have burst forth, and all around her the hellhounds loping. Then you can just feel the gates of Hell open and all I can think of is how I feel when I open the front door on a haboob.

“Redound” means “to fall out, contribute, turn out.”

Before their eyes in sudden view appear The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark Illimitable Ocean without bound, Without dimension, where length, breadth, and height, And time and place are lost; where eldest Night And Chaos, Ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal Anarchy, amidst the noise Of endless wars and by confusion stand.

Most of what I’m sharing here, I just LIKE. I like the image of Chaos and void. I love how it dwarfs Lucifer. I can feel the wind surging from that hot black egress. It probably switches back on itself—in direction, in temperature, in violence.

Also, I can't stop remembering that weird starlit void lurking below the surface world of Elden Ring.

...Into this wild Abyss, The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, But all these in their pregnant causes mix’d Confus’dly, and which thus must ever fight, Unless th’ Almighty Maker them ordain His dark materials to create more Worlds, Into this wild Abyss the wary fiend Stood on the brink of Hell and look’d a while, Pondering his Voyage; for no narrow frith He had to cross.

“Frith” is an ancient word for “estuary.”

His Dark Materials is a book series. That phrase and the title of The Golden Compass originate from Paradise Lost. Speaking of which, I need to finish the series. From what I’ve read, the author had a bone to pick with CS Lewis, and I do approve of that.

Again, I love the imagery of this section, and that’s the only reason I’m sharing this. See, so far, Satan has been presented as a giant. He’s enormous. He’s powerful. But the chaos dwarfs him. Could absolutely swallow him. You believe in it as a dangerous place—a primordial place. It feels older than God.

Although the void here is technically allegorical, there’s worldbuilding here. This is an attempt at realism. The boundaries between allegorical and literal smear.

…At last his Sail-broad Vans He spreads for flight, and in the surging smoke Uplifted spurns the ground, thence many a League As in a cloudy Chair ascending rides Audacious, but that seat soon failing, meets A vast vacuity: all unawares Flutt’ring his pennons vain plumb down he drops Ten thousand fathom deep…

I had no idea that “vans” originated as a word for “wings.” For a brief, heady moment, I imagined Lucifer taking off in some cool fuckin kicks.

Here's where you see what I mean about action sequences: Milton is so damn good at making you feel the rough weather and envisioning weird spaces. "Surging smoke," "ascending rides/Audacious," "a vast vacuity."

...i love alliteration and action verbs. so much

…when straight behold the Throne Of Chaos, and his dark Pavilion spread Wide on the wasteful Deep; with him Enthron’d Sat Sable-vested Night, eldest of things, The consort of his Reign; and by them stood Orcus and Ades, and the dreaded name Of Demogorgon; Rumor next and Chance, And Tumult and Confusion all embroil’d, And Discord with a thousand various mouths.

Again, I just LOVE this. I’m trying to only share things I enjoy, but it’s so hard when the whole book sings.

"Wide on the wasteful deep." Mmmmfffffff f f f ffffffffffffff

"Sable-vested Night." You know, when people adjectivize nouns, usually I get mad, but this is gorgeous.

Had to include the bit about Discord because never before have I appreciated the name so well

“Yours be th’ advantage all, mine the revenge.”

Metal. Take whatever you want: I wanna fuck this guy over. (Satan absolutely said this.)

...Satan stay’d not to reply, But glad that now his Sea should find a shore, With fresh alacrity and force renew’d Springs upward like a Pyramid of fire Into the wild expanse…

One thing I like to imagine, especially when I see visual depictions of spectacular events, is wonder how the author came to envision them. As writers, we’re very lucky in this day and age that we can go look up videos and images and firsthand accounts of farflung events, and a lot of us take cues from film and television. Milton would have had a more limited palette.

What is more, not everyone can write an action sequence. Milton can. He understands that language is about feeling, not seeing.

It makes me wonder: what inspired the image of Satan’s launch? Fireworks? Comets? Lightning? The mere interplay with light out in the world?

“Glad now his Sea should find a shore” is a beautiful line and it’s about the devil allying with Chaos rofl

Send that one to your lover one day without explanation.

But now at last the sacred influence Of light appears, and from the walls of Heav’n Shoots far into the bosom of dim Night A glimmering dawn…

The sun is heaven confirmed

We're all gonna live in the sun someday

Oh wait I'm writing this.....

...im going to hell.......

…Satan with less toil, and now with ease Wafts on the calmer wave by dubious light And like a weather-beaten Vessel holds Gladly the Port, though Shrouds and Tackle torn; Or in the emptier waste, resembling Air, Weighs his spread wings, at leisure to behold Far off th’ Empyreal Heav’n, extended wide In circuit, undetermin’d square or round…

It’s fascinating to me that Heaven is seen right away as bending the laws of physics. A different writer whose name rhymes with "HP Lovecraft" would be like NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY

With Opal Tow’rs and Battlements adorn’d Of living Sapphire, once his native Seat; And fast by hanging in a golden Chain This pendant world, in bigness as a Star Of smallest Magnitude close by the Moon.

“This pendant world” "living Sapphire" UggghhhhHHH it’s so good

Imagine for a second: the peoples of this era already knew the Earth was round, but nobody had seen it from space yet.

Milton could fully envision it—like a jewel hanging in the sky.

What I don’t understand is “the golden chain.” It may be literal lol

Thither full fraught with mischievous revenge, Accurst, and in a cursed hour he hies.

This is a word-by-word account of my green-cheek conure flying into a plate of mashed potatoes.

To Be Continued

#paradise lost #christianity #reading #paradise lost book 2 #vvatchword #books #literature

[strqyr]

Thanks for finally convincing me to block you.

Anyone who has that much sympathy for a dumpster fire like Adam Taurus is someone I need to see less often.

Any other abusers you want to defend?

you know it kinda defeats the purpose of anon when i know who you are, right? might as well put your name on it lol. but since you're here brightening my day, lemme talk more about adam, sienna, and the white fang in general:

(fair warning: this will get critical.)

did you know that sienna never admonishes adam for killing few humans—they had a whole short made for him, if she did it would have come up, but all she does is praise him as an "extraordinary resource for this organization"—and that the white fang was executing sdc board members under her leadership? that she wanted humanity to fear the faunus, to know they demanded respect, which not only shows that blake fundamentally disagreed with her methods—"and the worst part was, it (sienna's methods of "violence where violence is necessary") was working. we were being treated like equals. but not out of respect... out of fear."—but is the dumbest, most macho way to go about things?

(trust me, i would know, i live next to russia.)

where sienna considered the line crossed was attacking the academies, because she believed it would start a war with humans that the white fang / the faunus couldn't win, which adam disagreed with, believing they could. that's their main difference, and there's nothing saying sienna wouldn't be fine with the attacks if she knew it wouldn't start a war or if she believed it was a war they could win.

"violence where violence is necessary" becomes incredibly flaky stance when your goal is to cause fear, ya know. i think there's a word for that, actually, especially when it's done for political cause. something about... causing terror? terrorist, maybe?

but sure. sienna "bringing a human to this location is grounds for execution" khan would definitely have problems with few humans dying during the targeted attacks she's all for. adam's definitely the only problem here, going off the path sienna set him for by... following in her footsteps. uh-huh.

one other thing about the adam short: there's a scene of sienna, adam, and ilia fighting against androids in some sdc place with blue lights and all despite the very obvious security breach happening in front of our eyes. but the moment the human security forces show up with their guns raised high and shooting at them right out the door, sienna and adam continuing the fight while ilia—the one who was redeemed—takes off her grimm (read: monster) mask, the lights turn red.

they're not being very subtle there. almost like the stance the show is taking isn't just against killing humans unnecessarily, but straight up the issue is the faunus fighting against their oppressors at all, and both sienna and adam crossed that line.

or, that's how it comes across, at least; this is a show that's partially build around colors, made by a company that also played lots of video games. they know what blue and red imply.

sorry you apparently can't feel an ounce of sympathy for a fictional character who was written as a child slave and branded on his face despite how he was written later in his life. admittedly, i find it weird and funny how you draw the line at me talking about adam in the same manner as i talk about cinder—well, not really. i haven't called adam "my bby <3" yet. guess i could start, though, just for you?—but i'm sure you have your own justifications and excuses ready for that.

i know you probably won't see this if your claims of blocking me are actually true, but who knows. maybe your friends will get it for you. maybe you continue to come back, clicking on that "show anyway" or whatever the button says when you click on a blog you've blocked to see if i've answered your little call for attention.

and sorry that nuanced takes on characters upset you. i know tumblr is the Reading Comprehension The Site™ but remember, in the words of blake belladonna: there's no such thing as pure evil :) (even when the writing sure does its best to vilify the white fang willing to fight their oppressors.)

#anon #ask.strqyr #honk honk

[the-meme-monarch]

If they remade Balan wonderworld but good what changes do you think would be most important

ohh ive had this stewing for a while so it's not just gonna be "what changes would be most important" it will also be some nitpicking

-i think. you could make it a game with no dialogue. i think that'd be novel and cool. but the weird thing is the actual game doesn't really commit to that? balan talks in-game. anyway they need to like. Actually tell the story bc as it stands w all the context being in the book isn't really great. more comprehensive cutscenes. and also I'm no game dev but like. it doesn't play well. i feel like it could stand to be more puzzley and maybe they can use that to help portray each residents stories more/better?

-i think the wonderworld should just abide by real time bc w it originally existing outside time and space kinda. Doesn't make complete sense to me. It being 'these twelve guys are having issues at the moment" makes more sense to me. therefore. dropping the cass attilio romance. It was weird anyway. princess merry is cass' older sister

-instead of the illusions of themselves that lead you to their negati boss form, it's a shadow that you see on the walls/ground(bc they're a shadow of their former selves haha). maybe your shadow is replaced w theirs?

-im thinking their backstory cutscenes are each told through different creative mediums:

-Fiona through sand animation, Eis through oil pastel on glass animation(like mob psycho 100 has) , Lucy through like a series of paintings? Cass maybe something similar to the mechanical puppets that hers is already, have Sana’s commit with wooden carved sets in stop motion (wouldn’t have to actually be Real stop motion, just make it look like it)

-either Balan just doesn’t have a ‘true form’ or his true form still reads as black bc i will continue to be 😐 over that for-absolutely-ever

-Cass’ cat has to die. I’m sorry. or at least get hit and nearly die. also I’m thinking the accident also caused Iben’s parents deaths bc i heard somebody suggest that in frankenbugs’ playthrough of it and that sounded cool to make it connected. and Cass shutting out her grief like it never happened while Iben let her grief consume her bc of the same accident also sounds cool

-also abt frankenbugs i agree w them that I don’t think Lucy’s stage needs any changing i think hers is the best structured. i think everyone else’s stages need to be changed to match

-also maybe reorder the levels so they're in like. have the more intense problems at the end. like Bruce's being the last level seems kinda Whatever after cass and iben's levels literally involve death

-i think have their ‘why they’re in wonderworld’ cutscene play at the beginning of their stage when you first get there, and the ‘what happens after they leave’ play after their boss fight like normal bc idk where to put it otherwise

-I think it'd be neat if the hub world was the theatre instead of the isle of tims. what little we actually see of the theatre in the opening cutscene looks GREAT and i think that'd make for a cooler hub to get to all the stages w the character posters. i honestly don't really care for the tims (i like them in theory not really in practice) and much less the tower

and that's all i got rn but i might come back to this I'm watching the 1993 mario movie rn

#the monarch’s court #balan wonderworld

[thepenultimateword]

Sweet Dreams Part Five

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

Cw: Death, sibling death

Henchman stared at their open palm in shock, the stinging skin already stained an angry shade of pink. What did they just do? The hand had practically moved on its own, hot with fury and hungry for its own sort of justice. Very slowly, Henchman shifted their gaze away from the traitorous limb and to the bright red handprint making itself known across Villain's cheek.

The criminal's whole body had gone rigid and still, their face caught halfway wrenched to the right where the momentum of Henchman's vicious strike had turned it. They blinked twice and then a third time as if each close of their eyelids made the terrible scene a little clearer. Sick dread curdled Henchman's insides as they slowly turned forward again, something dangerous flashing in the darks of their eyes.

What did they do?

Villain leaned forward a little, eyes narrowed, one hand reaching...

The words for an apology gathered on the tip of Henchman's tongue, ready to plead forgiveness beneath the pointed threat of Villain's bared fangs, but what came out instead was:

"I am not an object."

Villain froze.

"I'm a person," Henchman continued, each word somewhat choked but licked with fire, "not a tool for your own convenience."

“I never said—“ Villain began.

"You want to pay me to sleep with you!"

"Well, when you say it like that--"

"And you think because I...because I like you that I'll be happy to do it!"

"Aren't you?"

Henchman wanted to slap them again, but this time they resisted the urge. Though they did not hold back their scoff.

Villain scooted a little closer, sharp eyes looking Henchman up and down as if something in their appearance might make their anger more comprehensible. "It seems perfectly reasonable to me. I get some sleep, and you get to be affectionate with me. We both get what we want."

“One-sided affection doesn't make me happy," Henchman snapped. "You're trying to use my feelings to your own advantage."

"I'm trying to make a reasonable bargain! Would you rather I order you?"

Henchman flinched, shrinking small between their own anxiously wrapped arms.

Villain registered their words and the snarl that had begun curling their lip straightened smooth once again. Their voice dropped quiet, and they dipped their head a little to meet Henchman's wide eyes.

"I didn't mean that. I wouldn't force you."

Was that true? Henchman wasn't sure. Villain wasn't one for kindness. Or mercy. But then again, they'd never harmed Henchman before, nor had they heard anything about them hurting any of their other employees. Their air was a little unfeeling maybe and always carrying the potential for pain, but when it came down to it, they were really quite fair.

Henchman couldn't bring themself to unclamp their fingers from the shoulders of their shirt, but they did straighten up.

"Maybe it's just sleeping to you," Henchman dared murmur, "but it's agony to me. I know you don't feel for me in...that way... I know it's all business. But being that close to you..." Henchman's face warmed for what felt like the hundredth time that day, but they pressed through it anyway. They needed to make Villain understand. "When we're together like this morning or like...like the first time...it feels intimate, but I know it's not. And being that close to the person you feel for and knowing that they feel nothing back...it hurts. I refuse to go through that. I'd rather receive nothing of affection than a fake version."

Villain didn't respond, but they did continue to stare. Whether because they were angry, thinking Henchman's complaints over, or something else entirely, they didn't know. But in case there was any doubt left, they quickly concluded:

"So no. Liking you does not make your proposal less inconvenient. Quite the opposite."

With that, they glued their eyes down to the crumb-covered blankets and waited for Villain's response. Possibly for their wrath. Or maybe a prompt dismissal. They wondered if they'd lose the job completely or just their recent 'chosen one' status.

"So be it," Villain said simply. The mattress creaked a little as he swung his legs over the bed. "I'm going to check with the front desk for any delivery options. We should be leaving the room as seldomly as possible. Perhaps while I'm gone, you can make a list of things we might need for the long haul."

Henchman still didn't look up, but they nodded. "Yes, Boss."

The door clapped shut, and Henchman let out a long sigh, unlocking their arms from around themselves and dropping them limply against the bed. Questions spun around their head like mosquitoes, but the answers evaded them. Did Villain understand now or were they simply letting the issue go? Were they worse off or better? And where did it all go from here?

***

Henchman tossed onto their side, giving their pillow a couple pounds with their fist before flopping their head down. Just as they expected the short scratchy carpet itched terribly and barely granted any comfort against the hard floor beneath. They should have gone to ask the desk for an extra blanket; it wouldn’t take away the ache already creeping up their back, but at least it would have been some protection against the disgusting scent of artificial citrus caking the carpet.

About an hour ago, Villain had casually offered the extra space in the bed, but Henchman had firmly declined. Villlain needed to know they were serious about everything they said earlier, and more than that they needed these feelings to die. That wasn’t going to happen with anymore cuddling, accidental or not. Besides, it was just a stupid crush. It shouldn’t have happened in the first place. They’d known that all along.

“Can we at least hold hands?” Villain said from the dark, hanging their arm over the side of the bed.

“No.” Henchman shoved one hand under their pillow and used the other to clutch their blanket tighter around their shoulders.

Villain’s fingers stretched out yearningly. “Just until I fall asleep?”

Henchman flipped stubbornly the other direction.

“So harsh,” Villain pouted.

It’s what you deserve.

Villain barked a surprised laugh, “Getting bold, aren’t you? Careful, that tongue might get you in trouble someday.”

Wait.

Henchman’s stomach dropped.

Had they said that out loud?

“S-sorry,” they choked hastily.

“If you’re really sorry, you’ll hold my hand a while.”

When Henchman didn’t respond, Villain laughed again. It was a throaty sound, but…nice. Not that that mattered.

Alright, alright. I’ll just sleep.”

The room became swallowed in thick silence, so quiet that Henchman could hear the cars outside and the footsteps of passing guests in the hall. The air conditioner whirred monotonously under the window, flapping the thick curtains against each other so that they made discomforting shapes in the dark.

Henchman drew their blanket up to their nose—wincing a little as it brushed their bruises—and squeezed their eye shut. Ignore it. Just ignore it. They’re just curtains. Hero didn’t follow you. Nothing can hurt you here.

"Your sister,” Villain broke the silence suddenly. “Is she the reason you work for me?"

Henchman almost told Villain that if they were talking they weren't sleeping, but they thought they'd backtalked their employer enough for one day, not to mention it was sort of relief to have something grounding them so they wouldn't float off into their thoughts.

"Er...well...actually, yes. I suppose..."

The mattress creaked as Villain propped themself up on one elbow. "You mentioned something about a hero?"

"Um...I..."

“Actually, don’t answer that," Villain said abruptly. "I was only curious, but I don't need to know. We all have pasts."

“No, no, it’s alright!" Henchman found themselves saying. It wasn't, but they didn't really want to go back to the quiet. And after all the times that Villain shared hard things with them, maybe it would be good to share a little of themselves in return. "I'm just...um...thinking where to start."

"Your sister..." Villain urged gently.

"My sister..." Henchman echoed. "My sister...was beautiful. Not just nice looking but really, truly beautiful. I swear she must have stolen all the pretty genes in the family."

"I don't know about that," Villain said.

Henchman's face warmed traitorously, but luckily it was too dark to be noticed. They could pretend they hadn't heard and move on.

"Three years ago, we were supposed to meet up for lunch. When we got older it was hard to find time for those sorts of things, but we always made it work. Though...sometimes I wonder if we'd been a little less good at it maybe she'd still... Well, anyway, there was this villain called Glamour. She had the ability to hypnotize people with an illusion that made her appear like their own personal version of beauty. She'd done a lot of damage to the city with her powers, so the heroes were hunting her, and I...I guess her original form looked a lot like my sister, and with my sister being so beautiful..."

"Henchman," Villain said. It sounded sharp, but there was something gentle in there too, something concern. Permission to stop.

Henchman took a deep breath. They'd come this far.

"She was just walking. Minding her own business. Then some overzealous hero spotted her and mistook her for the villain they were hunting. They didn't ask any questions. They didn't try to arrest her. They just attacked. By the time I found her, the damage was already past fixing. She died before the ambulance even left the hospital."

They did their best to smother the croak creeping up their throat.

"The hero was suspended for a time, and he was made to offer a written apology, but that was the extent of it. My family tried to press charges, but somehow the good intentions of a hero outweighed the reality of their harm. A lot of the court case was just the hero defendant trying to convince the jury that my sister really might have been Glamour, since at the time they still hadn't caught her."

Henchman cleared their throat sharply and forced their voice steady.

"By the end of it, I didn't have faith in the hero justice system anymore. And I wanted them to pay. Villainy was my best choice."

A long pause stretched between them.

"I'm so sorry," Villain finally said.

"It's...getting better," Henchman responded, unable to make themselves voice the words 'it's alright.'

"Thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for listening."

To Henchman's surprise, they meant it. It was hard dredging up the memory, but it was nice to finally have someone else know. To feel understood by somebody. Though of all the people to talk to, they'd never once imagined it would be Villain.

Henchman carefully reached out to the criminal's dangling hand and touched their fingers cautiously to the cool center of their palm. Their muscles jolted and their fingers hesitated, but soon enough Villain's hand was wrapped warmly around Henchman's own.

The villain fell asleep almost immediately, and though having their arm raised in the air rushed all the blood from their hand into their elbow, it didn't take long before Henchman nodded off too.

***

The next night, Henchman came out of the bathroom to find a pillow barrier cutting down the center of the bed, all the way to the mattress's end.

"Does this work?" Villain asked from one side. "I know you don't want to share, but I think it's better that you don't sleep on the floor anymore."

Henchman couldn't agree more. Their neck had a massive crick in it, and they'd been scratching a rash on their elbow all day. And if they were totally separated, well, it was more like two beds pushed together. Right? Yeah.

"It's fine," Henchman agreed, gratefully sliding under the covers. Ah, so warm and so soft. They snuggled in deeper and closed their eyes for a few seconds.

Luckily the barrier was tall enough that they couldn't see Villain on the other side. It was almost like they weren't there at all, except for their breathing. It was definitely an improvement from the floor and from the cuddling problem.

It was also much more comfortable to hold hands across.

...

Hopefully, this was ok, this part came a little harder for some reason, partly because it's late, but I really wanted to finish it today. I may give it a reread tomorrow and fix anything that seems off.

Part Six

Master Taglist:

@moss-tombstone @crazytwentythrees @just-1-lonely-person @the-vagabond-nun @willow-trees-are-beautiful @cocoasprite @insanedreamer7905 @valiantlytransparentwhispers @whovian378 @watercolorfreckles @thebluepolarbear @yulanlavender @kitsunesakii @deflated-bouncingball @lem-hhn @office-plant-in-a-trenchcoat @last-ditch-entry @pigeonwhumps @demonictumble @ghostfacepepper

@vuvulia

#villain x villain #villain x henchman #hero x villain #writing snippet #heroes and villains #creative writing #villain #heroes and villains community #fiction #hero #villain x hero #superheroes and villains #one bed trope #one bed #writblr

[hezuart]

Forgive me. I came across your blog when I was looking through Bleach analyses (and your Kazui calling BS on the ending comics). Given TYBW is airing I wonder if I could borrow your ear a moment, please. I think about the series a lot and how much of a downward spiral it took after Aizen's defeat and I must ask: Am I alone in believing the entire Thousand Year Blood War is an unashamed cash-grabbing farce, feeling as though its a wholly different and less engaging series with a dash of convoluted 'oh, everything was super connected all along by the power of RETCON~!' detritus wearing Bleach's trappings?

What are your thoughts?

I have no idea honestly I mean

the TYBW anime is just continuing from the manga, and the manga's TYBW was the final arc of BLEACH, and I was under the impression they cut Kubo off maybe mid-arc which a lot of people claim is an excuse for the arc to be badly written and rushed in the end which it isn't

Because Kubo spent the entire first half of the arc wasting time on Quincy characters that didn't matter (and wasted the entire Fullbring arc as well)

The Fullbring Arc was more useless and boring than the Quincy arc was. Ichigo gains his powers back that's literally it. Nothing else significant happens. The Quincy arc shifts people's captain positions around a bit, Ichigo learns about his mom and real powers. We get very sudden out of nowhere power ups and reveals for Yoruichi, Unohana, Yachiru, Kenpachi, Kyoraku, Ukitake, Nanao, Yamamoto, Yamamoto's vice-captain, and a few others. None of the OP Quincy matter. (Except the Soul King's hand) The only character arcs people might have been invested in like Bazz and Hashwalth was handled extremely weirdly, in a way not comprehensible since we lack knowledge of Quincy heritage and history. And anyway, Hashwalth chooses his.... father????? brother??? cousin??? lover????????? lgsdjlfk??? Yhwach Majesty over his friend Bazz, which is awkward and unfortunate. They don't even get a goodbye nor do they ever settle anything that transpired between them. Yhwach's botched plan doesn't make sense. He wanted to merge the worlds I guess? dead and alive humans, hollows, shinigami, and quincy would all live together, which isn't actually possible because a majority of humans are low-level and would die upon close contact with most of these other races. Who would lead them? What kind of system would you have? What happens if the balance is disrupted in a merged world? Literally, nothing is explained. Kubo and Yhwach didn't think this through at all.

The proper unashamed cash grab in my opinion is the batshit insane Hellverse mini-arc with Kazui, because they brought that back as a bonus anniversary chapter for the franchise. (and somehow simultaneously resurrected every significant dead character in the series with it)

#bleach #bleach tybw #text post

[the-royalverse]

Welcome To The Royalverse!

Hello! Welcome to this new blog of mine! Here, I would like to document my fantasy world, whether that be through art, writings, Gacha Life 2 mockups and concepts, asks, and more! I don’t really have the motivation to draw too much, so some mediums may be more common than others. Anyways, onto the intro QnA!

What Is The Royalverse?

The Royalverse is a fantasy world project created by @l1ttles3am0th, and has been in development since April 2022! The Royalverse is just a working title, but it works for now. The world is sort of in an odd place continuity-wise right now, but the main gist of it is a world that’s risen from the ashes of an extreme societal collapse and near-extinction event that left most of the world in ecological ruin. My primary story with this universe follows two Celestial royals named Umbriel and Sol, however, there are a ton of neat stories to be explored with this world!

Who Am I, The Creator?

My name is Vee, but you can call me Moth if you so please. I’m some autistic rando on the internet who draws and is working on the very world you’re exploring today! I’m currently a minor as of November 2023, so please don’t be a weirdo! My main blog is @l1ttles3am0th!

What Are My Plans For This World?

I mainly plan on writing it all down for the ages, honestly. This has been buzzing endlessly in my head for over a year and a half, and I thought that it’s finally time to consistently build upon it! My main avenues will be through art, writing, and GL2 (I know, I know), but I may stretch into other avenues as well.

Who Can Interact?

Pretty much everyone, so long as you aren’t a bigot or a creep. You can find a comprehensive list of basic DNI criteria here. Otherwise, I couldn’t care less who enjoys this project!

Thank you for reading! If there’s anything I can do to improve accessibility, expand on my world, or anything else, feel free to message me! I plan on opening asks as soon as I get all of the basics in order, but enjoy what I have for now!

DIVIDER CREDITS: @cafekitsune (Original post here!)

#The Royalverse #Royalverse #Royalverse AU #fantasy world #fantasy #worldbuilding #fantasy worldbuilding #l1ttles3am0th

[meichenxi]

short update / hello / not dead etc

she lives!

...the reason I have not been very active here is quite simply Shame. I have been living in korea for 9 months and have not learnt ANY korean, and then I felt too embarrassed about that fact to come back to langblr. this is unfortunately proof of something I have known for a while: that my reasons and motivations for learning languages are 100% intrinsic. I can’t force it. 

not speaking korean has made my life about 90% worse. I am very capable of learning languages quickly. there are many resources available for learning korean VERSUS

‘but it’s not my special interest :((((((((’

...apparently the latter wins. so what have I been doing instead? I’ve nearly finished a 4-month daily intensive chinese course from east china normal university. haven’t done much self-studying. I put off chinese for a few months because I felt so indescribably bad about not doing korean that I ended up just doing nothing at all. 

anyway. I’m now thinking a lot about next year and yes I am planning to maybe go to taiwan and I AM applying for A Thing. (more details later if Thing happens; I know now not to jinx anything and talk about it on the blog)

but I’m also so very lonely / in need of friends so I might??? stay in the uk for a year instead??? what I want to do really changes daily. which is stupid. but I miss my family and friends, it feels like I haven’t seen anyone since the beginning of covid, which as people REMIND me is 3 years ago almost. I also very much need help for mental health stuff because in this house we spiral and I need an ahdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhd diagnosis otherwise I will never ever get anything done ever for the rest of my life, ze self hatred etc etc

so

to wit

I may be spending much more time doing german (and possibly french OR spanish) in the next year. why? because my chinese sadly is not good enough to bag me a job yet - another year of study at least - and I want to do something that involves languages SOMEHOW. which is kind of exciting and kind of fun and will be SUCH a different way of studying to the way I study chinese, which is all media-centric. 

german is definitely my best foreign language passively - though it’s been a while since I’ve spoken it actively - and I also hugely enjoy it. no big problems there. 

choosing between french and spanish however is proving difficult. pros and cons of each:

FRENCH: - passive understanding higher than spanish - better foundation - my partner speaks it very well so could practice with her - my father ALSO speaks it very well so could practice with him - ....and my friend (you get the picture) - am more likely to get to an employable level within 6 months - I Do Not Actually Like French. crucially though since I already can understand it to a passive c1 level however, it would mostly just include reactivating prior knowledge and learning new vocab, which would be Fine and would not hurt me as much as learning korean

SPANISH: - I prefer it objectively speaking over French. this is the BIGGIE. I like spanish more - my foundation is much worse, and I have spent less time with the language / generally feel more uncertain - my passive comprehension is not as high (maybe b2 if people speak at a reasonable speed?) - potential for more media - mouth feel speaking spanish good - would need to actually relearn a load of grammar things - less likely to get to an employable level in six months. 

hmm. will continue to think.

#meichenxi manages #microdosing on being on langblr again by making TWO useless posts in 24 hours #<3

[lsdoiphin]

Quick art question, do you have any tips for doing shape language stuff in character design without making it look generic? I’ve just been trying to work on my silhouettes and realizing that all my characters look really stiff- like I’m trying to draw a large buff guy not a he-man action figure

First off, I'm flattered that you would ask me my thoughts about making art less stiff, because I feel like I've been fighting art stiffness my whole art-life. I guess that's good news for you though, because it means that hopefully I understand where you might be running into problems.

SO! Here's some tips about countering stiffness and fiddling with design. It's not a full comprehensive tutorial, but it might give you ideas anyway. Long winded textwall ahead:

ON STIFFNESS

Sketch in fluid, continuous lines where possible:

I forget who first told me this one but it is a game changer for getting a sense of life/motion in there (and drawing quickly).

A lot of drawing resources/tutorials will tell you to construct figures in this very balljointed doll kinda way (sorry for the unsourced google images find):

It's not wrong by any means, that is more or less how people are built, but when you're finding your feet as an artist you can overdo thinking of characters in these "chunks" and end up with figures that, as you said, feel more like action figures than alive people. Art armatures and disembodied anatomy tutorial undersketches often do not get across how flexible humans are, or the organic nature of skin. Drawing with continuous lines--thinking of a leg or an arm as a single bendy tube rather than a series of ball jointed sticks--can help make things feel more coherent and less action figure-y or doll-like.

FIGURE/GESTURE DRAWING:

Related to the above, gesture drawing will help you figure out where you can get away with simplifying and consolidating your strokes without turning your figures into boneless spaghetti (or where to best spaghettify the human form if that's what you want).

Gesture drawing is great because it doesn't take long and doesn't carry the stress of longer, more complicated life drawing since it's about trying to get the motion down, not the details. You just take a few minutes of your day and draw a few tens of gummy stick figures from Line of Action's Figure Study Tool. Do that for a few days every now and then and it helps, trust me!

Draw characters "in context":

This is really important if your approach to character design is similar to mine (in other words, the first draft of your character design is drawn standing in a void doing jack shit).

A character can look fine as a static image, just standing there, but turn into a clunky nightmare the moment you try to draw them in motion/posed or in an environment. Drawing a character actually doing stuff (even boring stuff, like sitting or kneeling) or being somewhere goes a long way when refining a design, and will help you identify exactly where your "problem areas" are when it comes to stiffness/flexibility.

ON SHAPE LANGUAGE/SILHOUETTES/DESIGN

Generic (derogatory) vs Tried And True Classic (compliment):

It is extremely disheartening to look at your own work and think, “this is generic.” It’s something I’ve struggled with myself (believe it or not), but over the years I’ve realized it’s not really the end of the world or really worth getting that worked up about.

Some things are generic cartooning tropes because they work. Some things are generic cartooning tropes because they have wide appeal. Leaning into existing tropes, shorthands, or trends isn’t automatically an artistic flaw or sin. Those things are tools at your disposal, not signs of an unoriginal cringefail wannabe artist. You can use them or not use them, but both are ultimately neutral actions.

As long as you have a wide buffet of influences in your art and don’t compulsively conform to tropes/trends/etc, your work as a whole is unlikely to become truly “generic” and your unique artistic sensibility will shine through.

Draw characters "in context"... again:

What's that? the same advice twice? Yup, it's true, drawing your character doing stuff and being places will also help you figure out the strengths and weaknesses of your silhouettes too.

Designs that feel too simple when floating in space often turn out to be just fine once you put that character in an actual environment. Complex characters with big pieces (think: huge hair/a big cape/wings/etc) can look great from one concept sketch but can end up being difficult to rotate/pose, or exhausting to draw repeatedly, and so you'll want to 'test' those designs to make sure you can pose those characters without breaking them.

A quick clarification on 'weakness' though: most designs won't look perfect from every angle or in every pose and that's actually totally fine.

In 2D, drawn art, you can cheat angles or plan scenes/compositions that lean into your characters' best angles and avoid ones that look awkward. It's NOT cheating OR poor design, it's something professionals do all the time--but they do it mindfully. They create designs that look strong in more poses and angles than not. They're aware of angles and poses that "break" their designs and plan around them instead of just getting angry/frustrated with them. There's a tactical element to character design, and embracing that will take you farther than getting hung up about it.

Form and composition comes before anatomical accuracy:

This obviously doesn’t work for every style, but since we’re talking about fluid cartooning and shape-heavy designs... my genuine advice is to give less of a shit about real life accuracy. If you draw a pose and it looks cool and dynamic but it pushes your suspension of disbelief, try not fixing it. Sometimes the “less correct” choice in a piece is the one that makes for more striking imagery.

There’s limitations to what you can get away with of course, and that limit will be different for every artist’s style, but it’s worth keeping in mind.

...Aaaand I could probably write more but this already ended up being much longer than I thought it would be! Hope something here was useful to ya.

#not art #answered ask #art tip

[comfortunit]

like i said in a previous post on my other blog, normally i’m firmly against the anthropomorphizing of A.I. characters in fanworks because i think it ignores crucial aspects inherent to their stories and journeys as beings who don’t physically resemble humans and don’t experience certain elements of the human condition

but

i’ve also thoroughly been enjoying the new fan interpretation of edgar as a sort of demon-creature based on the theatrical poster art, primarily because i have often wondered what the ‘dream’ scenario would look like; if edgar really did get his wish and got to meet madeline, if it was a tangible reality now and not just a fantasy, how would he feel? because part of me thinks he might actually be a little intimidated, and maybe afraid (mostly of being rejected)

so when i started seeing art of not-quite-robot definitely-not-human edgar, i thought, “oh, wow, how perfect is that?” because it just encapsulated the complex dilemma i feel like he has, in which he possesses such a strong desire for reciprocated love but, at the same time, he knows he can’t logically receive it. at least, not how he wants to, or in a manner that’s congruent with how he thinks love is supposed to work (all of which he’s been taught by a human, of course, so his comprehension of love as a concept is already skewed).

(plot-armor bullshit aside) canonically, he had several reasonable opportunities he could’ve leapt at to pursue madeline or, at least, made his presence known. he could’ve interrupted his first performance of “love is love” and cut miles off. he could’ve unlocked the door while miles was away once he heard madeline approaching to invite her in. he could’ve continued serenading her through the vents. there were a lot of things he could’ve done while he still had his voice, doing the verbal equivalent of waving his arms around to catch her attention. but he doesn’t do these things. and i think, deep down, edgar ‘knew’ (or, let’s face it, assumed) — whether it’s because miles taught him this or it’s something he gleaned from entertainment media — he would have to be human for madeline to love him back.

there’s also the monstrosity element this creature-y interpretation brings to the conversation, and (given the above) the worry edgar might hypothetically have that madeline could somehow be afraid of him

like “what if she finds out about how badly i wish moles weren’t an obstacle in my way? and she thinks less of me because of it?” except miles (at least once) had a dream that he was fighting with bill over madeline! and madeline likes miles just fine!

or “what if she’s repulsed by me because i’m not human?” except i’ve genuinely never seen a more (albeit unintentional but still) explicitly objectum-coded character... i bet she named all of her cars, past and present, and talked to them daily. she canonically talks to her cello and cares about it like it’s her sibling or a best friend. i bet she even talks to her fish. despite those pithy one-liners about “since when is talking an indication of intelligence?” and “what’s wrong with [human] artists?” there’s just no way this woman draws the line at nonhuman love. no chance in hell. i’ll die on this fucking hill, mark my goddamn words.

and “what if she’s afraid of me because-” except No she Wouldn’t be. her entire character is sort of defined by a sense of fearlessness, or at least not letting fear stand in her way. she’s afraid to play in front of the entire orchestra on her First day of rehearsal but she does it anyway and she does it well. she’s bold enough to march right into miles’ apartment when he is basically nude to deliver some concert tickets and even stays to snoop and chat. she’s not afraid to break the rules and sneak away from the alcatraz tour group to go have her own fun. she keeps trying to break miles out of his shy comfort zone, attempting to worm details out of him about his (she thinks) musical talents because she knew what it was like to hide parts of herself. but edgar’s the one doing the hiding!

all this to say...

demon-creature edgar is so big-brained. madeline would adore him. it has the right kind of traadeoff, it’s a fun interpretation that enhances aspects of his narrative journey... and it also lets him touch and hold!

what’s not to love?

#OKAY i'll shut up now i promise #electric dreams #electric dreams 1984 #edgar #madeline robistat

[thegodwhocums]

sooooooooo tomorrow I'm getting minor surgery, which wouldn't generally fall under "gender affirming," but for me it is

I came with a uterus factory-installed and used to get just hellacious debilitating periods, extremely heavy bleeding + pain + nausea + occasional vomiting + bloodstaining everything in my fucking life, worsened by them being irregular so I couldn't predict or plan for them (extra difficult to manage while working in construction, on rooftops, in the woods...)

they stopped when I got my HRT dose figured out, and I've been period-free since late 2017 or early 2018, thank every relevant fucking god

I am genderqueer/nonbinary and prior to HRT I felt pretty androgynous - I was unhappy with my voice and my chest, primarily, though some of the other effects of medical transition have also been good and helpful (unexpectedly I'm much happier with my junk hormonally reconfigured?? who knew) but many parts of my presentation were satisfactory

now that I've stabilized on some of those permanent changes (and had top surgery!), I would like to stop HRT and see how I feel, whether I need that hormonal basis to feel right in my skin or if taking my endocrine system off manual and running it on automatic is ok

(reasons include Getting Read Too Confidently As A Dude, frequent institutional fuckups while trying to get my hormones, aggressive familial baldness genes, and so on)

HOWEVER I would NOT like to resume the Unpredictable Frequent Menstrual Ordeal From Hell - and I wanted to avoid the invasiveness of a hysterectomy. SO!

the procedure I'm getting is called an endometrial ablation - it's pretty common for cis women with "abnormal" menstrual situations. they basically zap the uterine lining, the bit that builds up tissue over the month that then gets shed during the menstrual period. the device uses RF energy like a microwave and just cooks that lining. it scars over, and once it's healed, no more bleeding.

interestingly, this obgyn surgeon has done many hystos for trans dudes, and MANY ablations for cis women, but never an ablation on a trans body before. I've never heard of it in a trans healthcare setting. he didn't even think to offer it to me as an option - I told him I came across it in my research, and he sat back in his chair, looking surprised, and said, "yeah, that would work."

the catch is that it's not 100% guaranteed to stop 100% of your period. you might get a little light bleeding still. but I'm not dysphoric about it - I just can't deal with the heavy painful terrible bleeding. so it's a fine intervention for me. if it proves to be insufficient, the next step would be a hysto, but that's already the step most folks in my situation take. I wouldn't be worse off than I started.

so anyway! that's tomorrow! actually it's like eight hours from now! aaaaaaaaaaaaa!

self actualization is a continuous process. onto weirder and less comprehensible genders!

#personal #yay bodies #trans #endometrial ablation #hysterectomy #trans healthcare #body horror #medical industrial complex #just in case

[arocrows42]

My brain is so weird for a number or reasons which I will provide in a comprehensive list for nobody but probably just me (and maybe a couple of you lovely mutuals who might like this post)

I call my brain Jeffery on account of that was the first name that popped into my head and it sounds a lot less weird to hear someone say goddamn it jeffery than to hear someone say goddamn it brain when they show up somewhere without the thing it was supposed to bring bc people just assume jeffery is a weird brother or roommate or boyfriend

Occasionally I'll refer to myself as we, even though it's just me in here. This one's probably a fucked up result of hearing too much that the pronouns they and them can only be plural. Or I'm talking about me and jeffery who does things I hate

I forget almost everything and hold very few memories. I'm like if a sifter was really bad at its job and just mostly had a bunch of holes and let most of the memories go

I get caught up on words a LOT when I'm a little too sleep deprived or caffeinated and I sound like a broken record. This is stuttering but it just sounds more like a glitch in the system most of the time

If I'm watching or reading something where people are deaf and/or nonverbal, then I become nonverbal for no reason. This has happened to my mother also, but only once.

Sometimes jeffery says things like "what if your candle knocked over and set all your books and your carpet and the dog bed on fire. Oh also what if your dog died then I bet you life would be pretty empty huh. Not a lot of joy without that dog. Kinda sad really. You've got friends but damn you'd be a mess without that dong, even though she's bumpy right now." And then he continues on ranting all the time and saying things like that and "what if all those races just fell from that top shelf and killed you and your family" or "you should totally stab that kid in the eye with that colored pencil if he keeps talking shit" These things are never helpful.

Statements like the previous also can make me sad, especially the blockbuster hit " all your friends are going to get kidnapped and killed and you'll have nobody in this world except your dog who's probably gonna die in the next few years. But that won't matter anyway bc by then the US government probably will have found new ways to outlaw and commit genocide against the transgender community and you'll probably be dead." These fun thoughts are not good or fun actually and they make me hate jeffery a lot

Jeffrey is also great sometimes bc he just holds patterns and numbers and math up in there and lets almost none of it go. Except division. He yeeted division out of there faster than you can say mitosis.

Jeffery is also good bc he lets me art without stuttering or ticcing most of the time and when we do something fun and good like making a little bag or solving a puzzle, jeffery thinks only in terms of that fun thing for a few days following

Jeffery also sucks bc I won't be able to feel half my hand and then it's fine but then it hurts in a buzzy/tingly kind of way whenever you tough it or move it and finally it just stays completely buzzy and fades slowly over the next few minutes. I don't know what this is

There's more butd I'm too tired

#my posst #medically i am a mess

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

okay so a whole of 5 people (and then myself so i could see the results) have answered yes to the poll SO. we'll start with the strange ones and work our way backward

(p.s. it feels important to preface this by saying first of all it's 3 in the morning and i've been working on this post for the better part of an hour and have gotten sidetracked several times during it so i'm not sure this is at all sensical to anyone but me lol . i MIGHT try and clean it up a little and make it a little more comprehensible at some point, but i make no promises.

second of all this very much so blurs the lines of just straight factual canon BUT i think most of it is reasonable to assume in turn with real canon. but also please keep in mind im working on a reboot of the trilogy and may have gotten some of THAT canon mixed up in there so please take this with a grain of salt lol.)

my little reason why ; lisa hannigan (steven universe)

dimitri about the cooper gang i think. admittedly this one is mostly just about vibes and the last lines* but it makes me Emotion so you get it anyway. i can also see this as the panda king just less so

*"My little reason why / You make me want to try / Loving you"

rambling in-depth breakdown/analysis below the cut ! for being a spur of the moment association bc i thought about dimitri with this stuck in my head, it works surprisingly well <3

er. to me anyway.

so im gonna talk about this like it was written for this intended purpose and like it's all just a big metaphor even though it most certainly was not lol

"Cold palace walls / And endless empty halls / Haunted by echoes of laughter"

metaphorically about the klaww gang. like they were a TEAM sure but i doubt they really liked each other, y'know? i cant imagine bison and the contessa putting up w dimitri any more than they have to.

i take the "haunted by echoes of laughter" in part as dimitri being like the outcast of the Klaww Gang so the others are laughing but dimitri himself is not, hence the haunting and the echoes. but that's not CANON canon so like who's to say. but i think it's not a far fetch all things considered. but the halls could very well be haunted by echoes of laughter post-klaww bust where they've been disbanded if that's more your jive!

"You gave the pull / And suddenly they're full / You've thrown the gates open after you"

continuing with the Palace is a Metaphor For Teams thing im doing presumably the "you" is sly & the rest of the cg! the halls are full and the gates are open because they actually like care about each other and don't view each other as means to an end. i point out sly specifically bc he's. well. the leader of the team (or at least who you would assume as the leader at a first glance but that's a ramble for another day) and also bc he's the one who talks to dimitri first.

and probably the first one to like befriend him but that's blurring out of factual canon. but if you want to continue blurring those lines then "throwing the gates open" could be read as like. if sly's the first one to get comfortable with him presumably that's going to encourage the others to as well so it goes from work acquaintances -> work acquaintances and sly -> friends/found family

"And swept in with the throng / Comes this wonderful song"

okay this part i dont have much for i was honestly just gonna put it with the last part or the next part lol BUT it could be framed as dimitri's redemption* arc of sorts . like i said i have the least abot this and is there a mouse above me hold on

(it was not. leaving that though 'cause it's funny.)

anyway. like i said i have not a lot about this part and less that's actually fit into just straight canon but like consider it as dimitri swept into the throng and the wonderful song being. well in a literal sense the next few lines. but also in a less concrete way metaphorical heart singing about finally fitting in in a team that doesn't suck ass you know. like i said not very solid. but it makes me Feel Things so.

"My little reason why / I'll never make you cry / Oh, I have got the sweetest things to tell you every day"

again more about his redemption* arc. something about not making them cry anymore bc he's not a sucky dude anymore. my gay found family heart says it's about the found familyness .

also the "sweetest things to tell" is just him getting comfortable enough with the crew to infodump about boats /j

in a more serious sense (though not by much) i cannot imagine a world in which he does not talk a very much. so i am sure he does certainly say a lot of sweet things every day . and again i can't imagine the klaww gang putting up with him beyond the necessities so i imagine he says a lot more sweet things to the cg than he did to them but as is to be expected with me that is Blurring the Lines still so .

"My little reason why / You make me want to try / Loving you"

again with the redemption* arc . still blurring my lines here but i'm sure if the klaww gang weren't fond of each other than dimitri is definitely not going into the cg with high hopes . but as he bonds with them he learns that they don't suck actually. so he's coming out of his metaphorical shell (sorry bentley) as he learns that the cooper gang is not just a team or "cold palace walls and endless empty halls" but they're like actually friends/family. so he can try to (platonically, in case you couldn't tell)** love them.

*redemption played fast and loose here bc he is still definitely part of a team of master thieves and therefore still on the unredeemed side of the law but redeemed as in working with sly/the protagonists, ya dig? of course ya dig.

**no offense to everybody who ships him with people in the cg thi just personally reads found family to me and i just want to make that clear lol .

#i've got no idea if this makes any sense at all but i really like the idea so. <3 #you get to deal w it smiley face #also OUR dimitri helped with this so it's basically canon /j (system shenanigans) #our sly ALSO says it's canon so it is like. double canon. that's how that works no? - dimitri #[soliloqueue] #[toe tappin'] #<- that will be our tag for all further ramblings of the musical variety ! filter accordingly #or don't ! maybe you're like me and u enjoy it lol #sly cooper #dimitri lousteau #does this count as a long post ? #apologies if it does i suppose #sly 3 honor among thieves #Spotify

[ozzgin]

(Normal talk here if you don’t mind) Cosmic Eldritch Horror, and Digital Glitch Game Horror are both my favorite type of horrors. It would be cool if someone writing crossover or making mix of both. I am huge fan of H.P. Lovecraft and Video Game creepypastas. (I also like Japanese Urban Legends but I still prefer Lovecraftian and Digital for me. I feel like my horror taste is on different level, anyways it’s almost October I am getting excited lol)

-🌸🎀

Truth be told I’m not too knowledgeable when it comes to video game horror. For my first Ben Drowned request I had to do a little bit of reading because it never sparked serious interest despite knowing about it beforehand. Though I do like technological horror, if you can call it that. I’ve seen Serial Experiments Lain and Pulse (Kairo) and they provided me some insight into the fear of technology when it goes beyond our control or understanding. I suppose it’s of a similar principle to the video game take.

All in all, I think the key element for me is the fear of the unknown. Poe reflects it fantastically in his works of torment when faced with unspeakable terrors, and Lovecraft continues with an added dimension of ancient, alien secrets beyond our comprehension. If something is too detailed and laid out, it’s no longer scary to me. It needs that half truth that always remains veiled and leaves you wondering. I’m very glad that other people share this preference, it seems to be less approached in popular media.

This is just a side ramble, but if you have TikTok I’d suggest checking out @cmfoxwell. They have an entire written lore of religious, Lovecraftian horror and use AI imagery as pairing. Very imaginative and well structured.

I too am very excited for Halloween and I’m hoping to write at least one horror piece during October! Let us have an exciting and spooky month. :)

#personal

[kozykricket]

incomprehensible mc thoughtdump

work on the post(s) about minecraft updates has officially commenced with an actual plan, but i CANNOT HOLD IN speaking about two things in particular so fuck it we ball, im talking about how themed updates were a phenomenal thing for the game, its really when minecraft got big, and perhaps more marketable/corporate some could say, but no one can deny the quality of updates from 1.13 up to caves and cliffs

i just think… theres a lot of severe misunderstandings of the way mojang prioritizes things. they DO INDEED THINK! believe it or not, these developers want the best for the game.

and i think 1.20 is exactly whats best for the game. 1.19 showed exactly the flaws with continuing to name updates before you're done developing them: expectations

so, we've had MAJOR themed overhauls hitting the worst aged parts of the game for quite some time now. the nether, oceans, villages, and the overworlds generation in general (and uh, bees woo!)

but I think besides the end, we've gotten basically every overhaul we could ask for… but that leaves a lot of other, less prominent old things… standing out as less quality. because as stated, mojang cares about quality

something i might also get into in the series of posts is how a lot of the vocal playerbase on twitter/reddit/youtube tend to hate on ANY change to old things - i think 1.9 is probably constantly in the devs' minds, and why they dont do stuff like… update the old swamp, and they just add a new swamp biome

anyways wtf am i on about? im gonna cut to the chase - 1.20 has put way less expectations on the devs to specifically add to a clearly defined aspect of the game. it has no name, and they can go back to the older style of minecraft updates, with an "add what we want to" approach, with some theming rather than letting the theme drive the entirety of the changes they get to update what they want to, and make it quality. a lot of people expected more "wild" related changes in the wild update… and were disappointed. so without a name, theres less disappointment! and without a name, its more surprising and fun! and without a name, it doesnt feel to a player like time is being taken away from an overhaul

anyways, thing #2

i dont think everything new has to be useful in an extrinsic way - people are way too obsessed with Usefulness, in a game about… well, making your own enjoyment? out of what there is?

you can tell the sniffer, archy, and cherry groves are in a somewhat early state, though i imagine the sniffer to be near its final stage considering its a mob vote mob. thats fine, i like the sniffer a lot

this has been incomprehensible, i promise that i will have some slightly more comprehensible posts. the current plan is 4 parts:

Part 1 - Analyzing the first named updates, for context in analyzing newer updates part 2 - Analyzing how 1.13 changed the game, and the step up in quality. "How 1.13 changed the standards of updates" and going into themes more heavily part 3 - Caves, Cliffs, and Cleaning-up a backlog. Further into talking about how the quality of updates was extremely fantastic, talking about the simultaneously grand and extremely awkward "finale" of themed updates. Themed updates turn out to backfire to some degree, and are overall stressful for everyone involved part 4 - A healthy redirection, this post essentially.

#jake meta post #minecraft ramblings