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youcantproveiexist · 1 year

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Since the new Matilda movie came out I thought it was time to post this fan fiction I wrote a long time ago about @danielhowell and Phil Lester. It’s a parade story but I think it’s pretty decent! Enjoy!

Phil Lester had been performing on the west end for 9 years now. Before deciding he wanted be on the stage, Phil had been a YouTuber but after a year of working hard he only had 100 followers and he decided it was time his work was appreciated. He quit youtube and began training in the musical arts and less than a year later he got his first role. He fell in love with the arts and decided he was never going back to YouTube. Phil thought he was not going to be missed but among those few subscribers there was one who was so dedicated, that he followed Phil into the theatre business and vowed he would make Phil return to his past life no matter the cost. This is the story of the Phandom of the Opera.

Chapter 1

In the year 2016, the play Matilda was very popular on the West End. Emily-May Stephenson was in the middle of rehearsal of her very first professional show Matilda. For someone so young, she was very good, which is why she was Matilda. She was rehearsing her favorite song, Silent, when her singing was suddenly interrupted by the director, Matthew Warchus.

“Gather round thespians, I have some very important news!” Everybody eagerly rushed on stage, “It is with great sorrow that I have to inform you all of my official retirement.” There was a gasp of horror at this announcement. They no longer felt eager. However, their attention was captured by a man dressed in a smart suit wheeling a cart with a computer out on stage.

“This is your new director Mr. Tumblr de Chagny.” The man stepped forward, and cleared his throat. The actors stood, anxiously awaiting a speech from their prolific new director. However, their curiosity was heightened as the man turned, and pressed a small button on the computer, and promptly walked off stage. The computer began to make a soft whirring noise as the actors looked back at the computer quizzically. A small bell sounded, and the pixels lit up. “Hello” the computer said in an automated voice.

“He plans to direct this musical so that everything will run like a machine...Literally like a machine.” Mr. Warchus bowed his head and stepped back, giving all the attention to the new director.

The stage turned into a riot. Some wept silently at the loss of their beloved director. Some shouted demanding a better explanation. Others simply walked off stage in frustration. One thing was for sure, everyone was upset by Mr. Tumblr de Chagny. Everyone except Phil Lester. He was too busy thinking to complain. This computer was the same computer that he used to edit on so long ago. He knew it was his computer because there was a distinctive cat sticker on the back. The rest of the back was covered in all different stickers but he knew this cat sticker was his.

Phil was lost in the thought of his university years and all the videos he filmed. A pang of regret hit him. He almost felt bad for leaving that lifestyle behind him. With the pang of guilt came a pang of cringe. Some of those videos were inspiring while others were just plain bad. He could never go back to filming YouTube videos, especially since his own computer was now his new director.

Mr. Warchus interrupted the chaos by announcing that Mr. Tumblr de Chagny would like all the singing voices in his data before the director left. “Emily-May you first.” Obediently she continued her rehearsal of Silent. Her voice filled the room, as she looked smugly around at the actors, as if to say ‘ I am better than you ever will be!’ Suddenly as if struck by lightning her singing stopped, her eyes glazed over, and she fell face down on the floor. She was barely moving. When Mr. Warchus rushed to check for her, she was mumbling strange things like “What is my purpose? Is this reality or will I wake up in a new world? In all of the universes why was I put here?” There was no hope in snapping her out of it. The actor next to Phil yelled out almost in pain.

“It was the Phandom! The Phandom of the Opera. He roams backstage and causes tiny disasters but never has he caused a disaster such as this.”

“I don’t think she will recover in time for the next performance.” The director exclaimed in rushed panic.

“Is there an understudy for her?” Tumblr asked in his automated voice.

“Of-course there’s not! Emily-May has never missed a single rehearsal and is vaccinated for all types of illnesses!” The director was almost in tears, “We will have to cancel tonight's performance!” Arguments began again in the crowd of actors “ We already sold out!” “The people would never forgive us if we cancelled tonight’s performance!” “This is the most people we have ever had coming to our show!”

The director stopped the shouting by saying, “We simply cannot perform Matilda without Matilda! Is there anyone else who could possibly play Matilda?” This was a rhetorical question because the rest of the cast were adults but a mysterious voice from the crowd answered.

“Phil can sing!” Everyone looked around confused; it appeared as though no one had said it. Tumblr de Chagny immediately recognized the name. Phil nervously walked to center stage. He could hear his peer’s criticism “Can he even sing? You can't have a man replace a little girl!! I bet he has a cordless power drill.”

Phil channeled all these harsh thoughts as he began to sing. The crowd was taken aback at the smooth flow of his vibrato. The longer he sang, the better he felt, his voice filled the empty house like an angel's chorus. It was so great that it even seemed the computer was shedding real tears. Of-course Phil was immediately cast as Matilda and with lots of makeup and hair extensions the 6 foot 3 man-child had become an actual child. That night’s performance was the most successful performance the west end had ever seen. Everything was going Phil’s way and for the moment everything was perfect.

Chapter 2

Phil was enjoying his night very much. People were complimenting him and practically singing their praises of his beautiful voice. The person who was most surprised was actually not a person at all, but a computer. The Tumblr de Chagny was exceptionally pleased with Phil’s singing voice and how much it improved. He remembered when Phil had done a cover of Toxic and didn’t even use his real voice. Phil had obviously taken voice lessons but the question was who was teaching him. Tumblr was intent on finding out so he followed Phil up to his dressing room. Tumblr waited outside the door for a good hour but heard nothing. He heard nothing because the invention of earbuds was designed just so creepers couldn’t hear what you were listening to. Phil was listening to his teacher, who was in fact a tutorial channel on YouTube called THe_Angle_oftutorials. It was supposed to be Angel of Tutorials but that name was taken so angle had to do. Phil had no idea who ran the channel; the videos were simply black screens with a mysterious voice that instructed Phil how to sing properly.

Tumblr de Chagny soon grew bored of listening to nothing and had his owner wheel him away in the cart. But just after Tumblr left a voice filled Phil’s room “ How dare this incompetent peasant take all your glory! It was you who made tonight's show so special and yet his computed mind believes that it was his slow hard-drive that made everything run smoothly!” Phil recognized the voice immediately. It was his angle from the tutorials. He looked around the room but no one was there. The voice began to speak again,

“You were the star of tonight and you made your angle very proud. I am not here in your room but if you look inside yourself I am there. I control your very being. I am the Phandom of the Opera!” Phil looked into his mirror and saw The Phandom. He was a bit taller than Phil and was very lanky. A black mask covered half of his face. (It would have been a white mask but the black mask fit the Phandom’s aesthetic better.) Mist filled the room as Phil took the stranger's hand from the mirror and was pulled into a long hallway.

Phil thought the hallway might lead into a sensible cave decorated in velvet and skulls and candles but it instead Phil found himself in a modern apartment. The Phandom lead Phil into a room that was decorated quite brightly with a green bed spread and many other silly decorations.

“My room is across the hall and the kitchen is down that way. Do not try to leave this apartment. It is not an apartment at all. It is merely a model of an apartment inside the basement of the theatre.” The phandom’s voice was higher now than it was in the videos.

Phil stayed in his room for a while taking in everything. Phil hadn’t had a real bedroom in 10 years. He had only had hotel rooms and dressing rooms. He liked having his own bedroom for a change. Everything reflected his personality from the posters to the lion and even the fake hamster reflected his inner sunshine. It was like Phil had decorated it himself. How could the Phandom know all of this about him? It was a strange feeling that someone he didn’t know, knew him like this. He began to grow curious and decided some questions needed to be answered. He ventured into the Phandom’s room.

The bed spread was pretty similar to Phil’s except it was black. The room’s only source of light was a lamp and some fairy lights, so the room was pretty dark. The Phandom was sitting at his desk watching a video over and over again. On one wall there was a massive collage like one you would see on a crime show. Phrases like Phil is not on Fire, 7 seconds, Obama Llama, Phil Trash #1, and Halloween Baking were all pinned on the wall with question marks around them. The Phandom became aware of Phil and approached him.

“That’s the wall of all the things we could have done together. It's what could have been.” His voice was so melancholy, Phil almost felt sorry for him.

“What could have been? What happened?” Phil could barely speak; his mind was so full of questions.

“You quit YouTube. I was your biggest fan and all I wanted was to be your friend. We could have collabed and lived together. I needed you to become who I could have been.” The Phandom pointed at his computer and the video he was watching began playing at full volume. It started off with a younger Phandom his head peaked a little on screen and after a painful jump cut “ Hi, so my name is Dan” His hands looked like they wanted to display a name but Dan’s editing skills forbade them to hold it.

“ I could have never posted this video without a friend so it has stayed on my computer as a constant reminder of what could have been.” Dan’s rage was very obvious, “ You could have helped me become great! Instead you left me alone and depressed with no one to be my friend and no videos of my own!” At that point Dan realized the fear he was causing Phil and changed his tone “ But what could have been can still be done. You can quit this silly lifestyle and we can live together. Not just in this dungeon but in a real apartment. I… We can be happy.” Happy. The word was so strange. Was Phil Happy? Could Dan make Phil happy? All these questions swam in Phil’s head and suddenly Dan’s room melted into darkness.

Chapter 3

Phil awoke in his room. Well it wasn’t his room, It was his room in Dan’s apartment. Everything felt familiar to him even though he was in a completely strange place. Everything felt normal except for Dan lurking in the corner.

“I was waiting for you to wake up.” Dan led Phil into the living room. The two ate breakfast together and watched some anime. Phil had never been more confused. Why did this feel so normal? There was a part of Phil that wanted to stay here forever; he wanted to live like this. Waking up with Dan and watching anime together. Filming videos and stealing his cereal. Phil could imagine himself living happily like this with Dan. He might even come to love Dan.

This was not real though. This was a fake life. It seemed normal but there was no sunshine and no windows. It dawned on Phil that he was living underneath his real life. Phil might come to love Dan but he loved theatre more. He couldn’t let Tumblr de Chagny down no matter what Dan promised him. What Dan promised was not real. Theatre was real.

“Dan?” Phil asked nervously

“Yes, I know what you’re going to say and yes you can go back. I’m proud of you and I got you that role for a reason.” Dan cut Phil’s celebrations short “But you have to promise to think of me and when the end of Matilda comes I want you to think about the life we could have and know if you don’t take my offer your role will be cursed. You will never be able to get a role and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are unhappy doing the thing you love.”

As Dan took Phil along the path back to the theatre, Phil’s entire life was crashing down. The only thing that made Phil happy was being taken from him in exchange for this stanger’s happiness. The walk was pretty long and Dan explained all their future plans.

“...of course we’re going to have to include a llama somehow. Then there will be this huge microwave with a ton of stickers because you put your laptop in the microwave and broke the internet. Then we realise a book about how we never go outside and the dangerous things we did while we were in the land of freedom.” It was like Dan was speaking a different language. He had obviously spent way too much time alone in his dungeon. Dan was insane and was forcing Phil down his insane whirlpool whether Phil liked it or not.

“We’ll be happy Phil,” Dan concluded. There that word was again. Happy. It didn’t seem real. Phil wondered if Tumblr de Chagny felt happy ever. Of course the computer didn’t because computers can’t feel but Phil wasn’t in the best state of mind.

They finally arrived at the theatre and Dan said his farewells but Phil couldn’t pay attention; he was too deep in thought. He didn’t even notice when Dan left. He was thinking about the events of the past day. Phil thought it might not be that bad with Dan and they could get a real apartment and be best friends. Maybe Phil could get back into YouTube. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a faint tap on the door. It was Tumblr de Chagny. He informed Phil that he received a letter from the Phandom and knew was Phil was safe. Tumblr continued talking about Phil’s future in theatre after Matilda was over. Phil felt very guilty he knew he couldn’t tell Tumblr the truth about his or rather Dan’s plan.

“Tumblr, I’m quite tired would you mind if I rested a bit before the next show?”

Phil did not rest, he stayed awake pondering his misfortunes. He had a choice to make: he could leave the theatre and be “happy” with Dan or he could stay with Tumblr. If he stayed with Tumblr he still had to leave theatre but he loved Tumblr. Did he really love Tumblr de Chagny though? He had known Tumblr longer but his new friendship with Dan seemed to be clouding his opinions. He finally fell asleep on the happy thought of being with Dan in that cozy apartment.

Chapter 4

Phil had made up his mind. He would continue performing in the Matilda shows. He was absolutely sure of that. But he was not sure what he would do after Matilda closed. He had a lot of options. He could stay in theatre but never land a job because Dan would never let him be in a show or he could join Tumblr de Chagny and quit theatre and live a happy life with his computer or he could join Dan and live an almost happy life in an apartment somewhere in London. His future was unclear but at least he knew what he was doing in the present.

Eventually Emily-May recovered from her existential crisis, and Phil was once again pushed to the ensemble but he found that he didn’t mind that much. Being a main character was hard and Phil realized that being a main character had only brought him trouble. His minor role brought him less attention from Tumblr de Chagny and Dan hadn’t contacted him for a while. Phil didn’t really need voice lessons anymore and Dan wasn’t posting anymore videos so Phil had no use for Youtube.

But one day there was a note taped to Phil’s dressing room mirror. It had a number on it and as the days went by that number got less and less. Phil realized that it was counting down the days left of Matilda. The number seemed like a death count down to Phil. Yes he had once enjoyed the thought of staying with Dan for the rest of his life but the more theatre he did the more he realized maybe leaving wasn’t the best. His real love was for theatre. Not for Dan and not for Tumblr de Chagny. Phil had made his decision for the future he was going to stay in theatre. It didn’t matter what he had to do. He was going to stay and nothing could stop him.

The strange notes on the mirror counted down menacingly. Phil only had 10 days to figure out his escape plan. He was thinking of just leaving the theatre but Dan kept a close watch on Phil and Phil could tell. He could pull the fire alarm and leave unnoticed. Dan couldn’t keep Phil inside if Phil just happened to want to go outside for some groceries. There were so many ways out and all Phil had to do was leave… yet something stopped him everytime he got close. It wasn’t dan or Tumblr de Chagny it was himself. Could Phil be happy all by himself? The world seemed so lonely without two people fighting over Phil’s happiness.

Phil finally came to the conclusion that he had a family and there was at least one person at home to fuss about his happiness. He also missed home a lot. The problem wasn’t who was going to be there for him outside of the theatre but how could he continue theatre if the Phandom would stop the progress of his career. The answer of course was America. Phil could live in New York and the Phandom would never know he was continuing theatre. He decided to leave after that night's performance. Phil thought he owed it to Dan to do one more performance since it was Dan that got him that big role as Matilda. Phil began to pack as secretly as possible but he had no idea that Dan was lurking behind his mirror watching Phil.

Chapter 5

That night’s performance was one of the best the show had ever had. Phil sang his heart out knowing that Dan was listening. Tumblr de Chagny was in his usual spot in the theatre listening and watching Phil. Tumblr loved Phil. They both had grown up together. Phil updated him and Tumblr helped Phil edit his videos no matter how cringe worthy they were. Phil was giving his best performance that night and Tumblr knew that it was not for him. There was somebody else in Phil’s life and Tumblr knew it. But he didn’t let that bother him, Tumblr was content listening to Phil sing.

When the end of the performance came and all the actors came on stage, there was something missing a gap in the lines of actors. It was Phil he was nowhere to be found. The actors bowed as usual. None of them seemed bothered by the disappearance of Phil. Actually only one person was bothered by the missing actor. Tumblr de chagny was in complete panic. His amazing Phil was not there and he wasn’t backstage or in his dressing room. Phil Lester had dropped off the face of the planet.

Phil was in fact not off the planet but deep in it. He remembered finishing the show and then falling and waking up in his apartment bedroom. Dan was not there by his bed like the last time he had woken up here. Phil knew the way out of the apartment and he planned on sneaking out but when he got to the door it was locked and no matter how hard he tried he could not get it to open. He snuck back into his bedroom and tried to think of a way out. He could be here forever since going to buy a house in London was no longer an option for the phandom. Houses are too easy to escape especially with bystanders all over.

Phil finally decided to go confront Dan. If Dan was a reasonable human being he’d understand why Phil wanted to leave so bad. But when Phil got to Dan’s room he was met with anger.

“How could you? I trusted you and all you did was try to leave me alone. What was I supposed to do with you gone? Live down here forever and regret our future?” Dan was close to tears, “All I wanted was to be happy! Is that to much to ask for? “

Phil had enough of this, “Yes that’s too much to ask. Don’t you ever think about other people. You were willing to take away my happiness for yours and as soon as I tried to have a happy future you were willing to kidnap me.” Now Phil was the one with the anger “How could I do this to you? No! How could you do this to me? I can’t believe I once considered being your friend.”

Both Dan and Phil were softly crying. Tears rolled down their cheeks. Dan opened his mouth to speak but miraculously Tumblr de Chagny walked into the room. You must remember Tumblr was a computer so how he got down to the basement and through the door is amazing. Also the fact that he was walking was a miracle in of itself. Dan’s sorrow was overcome with renewed anger.

“So this is your so called happiness, Phil. A lowly computer. There are hundreds of computers like this one. There is only one of me. This computer cannot give you happiness; it only distracts you from the pain. How many years have I tried to be happy with a computer.” He picked up the computer and ,with Phil following, ran it into the kitchen.

“You may not remember my mentioning of a tour. The one where you put a computer in a microwave and broke the internet.” Dan slammed Tumblr into the microwave,“Let’s see what happens if you really put a computer in a microwave.” Phil’s screams were drowned out by an awful sound. The microwave exploded into flames. Dan’s body was thrown back against the wall. Everything was on fire.

Phil rushed over to Dan’s lifeless body. He may have tried to destroy everything Phil loved but Dan was still a human being. Dan was still alive but barely. He had a nasty gash on his forehead. He regained consciousness and realized Phil was trying to help him.

“Phil? Why are you still here? I destroyed everything you love so why should you be helping me”

“I believe every life is important even if that person is a twat.” Phil replied, “I also want to find out why. Why me? Why am I so important to you?”

“Phil when I saw you on YouTube I saw someone who had potential. Not only for my future but for your own. There was so much light within you and even watching your videos made my life a little bit brighter. But your videos stopped and the little light you gave me left. You gave light to so many other people and could have given it to so many others. I guess I thought it was my job to bring back the light that so many people lost the day you quit.” Dan smiled weakly with these words. Everything was burning and Phil could tell the house was about to come down.

Dan reached out and touched Phil gently. This small act allowed Phil to understand why Dan wanted so badly for Phil to be his friend. He saw Dan growing up with Phil by his side. He saw all the wonderful things they could have done together. He saw them laughing together and enjoying each other's company even if their joy was shared with millions of other people. Phil saw himself and Dan traveling the world and writing books together. He saw himself forcing Dan to do silly and things and he saw himself eating Dan’s cereal. He saw a happy life that he could have had. A life that now he could not get. A tear slipped down Phil’s cheek. This is what Dan had to feel every day, extreme sorrow that he could not get what he so desperately wanted.

“Phil?” Dan whispered, “Don’t allow your light to be hidden because I tried to force it out of you. You’ll always be my sunshine.” With these words Dan was gone. The fire seemed to be burning more than the walls. Phil felt empty as if his entire world had been reduced to ash. But he could not forget Dan’s words. He could not let his light be squenched.

#dan howell #daniel howell #phil lester #phantom of the opera #fandom of the opera #phan #ao3 #phan fanfic #fanfiction #matilda #opera tag #youtube #tumblr mobile #writing #funny #it’s my first fanfiction so I’m not really sure what the tagging protocol is #let me know what you think

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