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#peter x wade
bored-skid · 24 days
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Miau
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hedonistbyheart · 5 months
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Secret rendezvous
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forgetful-nerd · 1 year
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Matt: How did you two meet?
Wade: I was walking home when I locked eyes with him across the street, and I fell head over heals for him.
Peter: I noticed him staring at me and then he walked into the middle of the street, and got hit by a car.
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emmedoesntdomath · 10 months
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wade, loudly clearing his throat and shaking out a VERY long sheet of paper: my dearest petey-pie
peter, glancing up: yes?
wade, assuming a strong stance like he’s about to serenade him: my dearest spidey-poo, words cannot express my adoration for you, nor my dedication to your side. nay, but I shall attempt anyways. your hair is silky like a really nice pillow, your eyes as deep as a river. your nose was drawn by the gods, and your mouth was painted with a rose. 
peter, turning to wade’s literal girlfriend, eyes wide: you aren’t going to stop him???
vanessa, wade’s aforementioned literal girlfriend, turning the page in her book: if I stop him now, he’ll just start over
wade, getting louder: YOUR HANDS-
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Peter: I need your help. Wade(immediately): Great, who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.
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Love it that when Felicia is out committing crimes Peter is like 'nooo don't do this 😭😭 I know you know better than this Cat 🥺🥺 this isnt the life you wanna live 😞 babe stop fr'
Then when it's Wade he's just like
'what the fuck is wrong with you?'
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itsagentromanoff · 23 days
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Steve: We came here thinking our kid was in some sort of a depression, and it turns out he's dating someone. And he's actually pretty sweet and harmless.
Tony: Are you, Wade? Are you harmless?
Wade: Please don't, don't.
Tony: He kissed me.
Peter: You kissed my Dad?!
Steve: You kissed my fella?!
Wade: Dude, I thought I had to or I would lose my job, okay?
Tony: That's not... mnh-mnh.
Wade: That's for real. We were working late. It was just the two of us. He reached over to grab - a spring roll, I guess...
Tony: Yes...
Wade: But he got right in my face, and he whispered, "Mmm, Daddy's hungry."
Steve: [pauses] I have to say, Tony, this one might be on you.
Tony: Like I would abuse my position to take advantage of you and not James from the warehouse?
Steve: Who's James from the warehouse?
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amaranthmori · 3 months
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Ladies Night in the Realm of Midgard
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thelittlestspider · 8 months
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the fact that peter was looking at the selfie they took together right before wade kills him makes me sick.
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3twindragons · 7 months
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Part 1
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bored-skid · 2 months
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This is so stupid its my best spideypool art yet
Original down here
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hedonistbyheart · 4 months
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Romance in Red.
Thanks to Mr. And Mrs. Dechart and Neil Newbon for an impeccable reference.
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forgetful-nerd · 1 year
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Peter: so does this mean we’re married now?
Wade: only if I get to keep the dog and pinball machine in the divorce.
Peter: well dang, if you’re already planning for a divorce… I don’t know man.
Wade: ok since you wanna have an attitude. I get to keep the squirrel proof bird feeder as well.
Pater: How DARE YOU go for the bird feeder-
Wade: I was trying to keep things civil. But if you want to raise your voice too, then fine! I’m taking all the spoons to.
Wade: enjoy the inconvenience of not being able to eat your cereal in a normal way.
Peter: I don’t eat cereal because I’m not a child.
Wade: AND THIS IS WHY WE’RE GETTING A DIVORCE!
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emmedoesntdomath · 5 months
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peter, facedown into a pillow: I hate him
mj, reading next to him: I thought you wanted to have his children?
peter: I can be multifaceted!
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(Peter, who is now going out with Harry, is over at Wade’s. Wade is extremely jealous but trying not to show it)
Peter(Wade has just turned off a porn film when Peter walked in:….You know who doesn’t even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend, Harry. Wade(snorts): Yeah right… Peter: No, really! He says he likes it better left up to the imagination. Wade: Oh, and does he also say that the music is kinda campy and that the dialogue is corny, not sexy? Peter: Yes! Wade: Yeah, he likes porn.
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