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inka-is-a-stinka · 1 month
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Me rn because despite all the terrible, awful, shit he's been through, his favorite color is still yellow
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undergroundarling · 7 months
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Part of April, May, June, July and August: A summary of getting high on life.
I’ve been meaning to write nonstop about everything, but for one reason or the other I couldn’t get past any of the simplistic thoughts I created on the daily. My muse drives on failure, or the negative feelings I often stumble upon. I always come back when misery runs me over and leaves me gasping for air over the concrete. It would be disingenuous to paint my life as this constant pain and struggle to find a scrap of happiness. In May and June I felt the most alive I have ever felt, my body fueled by joy and the adrenaline I’ve been craving my entire life. I was floating through life, gravity didn’t apply to me, I wasn’t like the rest of the mortals, my feet couldn’t touch the floor, my body was as light as a feather and my dancing hair exuded floral smell day and night. I became gentle, my words, touch and gaze were as soft as a bed made of daisy petals. I was full of tenderness, couldn’t get any higher. I was constantly running from one place to the other: bus, train, subway, work, subway, workshop, train, home and repeat. I was in love with the turbulence of my little dreamy life.
From April to June I was attending a filmmaking workshop, met tons of talented people, the best teachers I ever had, got to be part of the creative process of multiple short films. I acted in a few, helped with the clapperboard in others, assisted and wrote some improvised dialogues and finally saw myself on a screen for the first time. Made incredible friends with whom I was able to have conversations, I only had with myself and my reflection. I also connected with others in a more superficial way but still important. Everyone was so passionate it made my soul vibrate to the rhythm of the cadence of their words falling from their lips. I didn't take long to realized I had found my people.
In one of the short films I played a deranged character, someone who gets crazy over a carpet and makes a full blown scandal. Very on brand if you know me. In another one I played a chainsmoker late teen who breaks a boy’s heart while wearing a vintage leather jacket with a shirt of The Smiths. At the end of the workshop I got to play a little role in another short film. I danced around with extras and then said one line. It was the best one we made. Everything was perfect to my eyes, from the lights to the camera’s movement to all the kids acting and setting the beautiful tone. At that exact moment I knew I wanted to feel like that for the rest of my life. I reassured myself “this is my path and I shall not derail from it.”
That day I met someone and developed an innocent crush, I don’t have much to say about it. Hang in there, there's a chance I'll become delusional or maybe this is my first time falling in love. Either way it will be interesting. (October’s correction: nothing happened and I think I’m no longer interested)
In the midst of it, more precisely in May I found a job after months of searching, I became a salesman for Chevrolet, it wasn’t what I wanted or even something I would enjoy but it was better than nothing. In the beginning I tried to avoid the obvious conflict of interests this job had on me. On one hand I had a book on the climate crisis and on the other I had a speech designed to convince people to keep on burning oil. I decided to play the part and do as I was told, to not rationalize it that much and take the money I needed. Turns out I’m great at convincing people to buy a car. Who would have thought? Not me or anyone who knows me. Everything was perfect, I was good at my job and the workshop was beyond everything I ever expected. 
It was in July, when sickness came around to remind me how much of a human I am. Days in bed flying in fever were the sign life was turning on me. The workshop had ended, there was nothing to be excited about, and now my body was suffering the withdrawal of the adrenaline creativity carries with it. I couldn’t sustain that elevated state and I fell to the ground, my hair didn’t smell like flowers and couldn’t dance with the wind, it was a brown mess, my body felt stiff and heavy as a piece of marble, and my words, touch and gaze went back to their furious state. I went through life raising fire in my surroundings , fighting, screaming and hysterically crying. It was then, when everything was painted red, that I remembered I used to have convictions and principles I was actively betraying everyday by going to work for a multinational that profits from the destruction of the planet and the end of humanity. I was part of the problem that not so long ago I was so passionately talking and warning people about. 
There was nothing able to calm me, my bed felt like it was made of thorns and my brain didn’t have a night of decent rest. Each night when the moonlight shined in my face I wondered: “Am I heading to eternal destruction?” I emphasize on the concept of eternal, because I can only hurt myself so much while still alive, but I can perpetuate the hurting with these words I’m writing beyond my last heartbeat. Will my soul keep on being torture every time someone reads the past and paints me in their head as this crying kid? I hope not. Either way July was the cruelest month. 
Now it’s the end of August and the workshop began again. I’m trying to reconnect to the original feeling without frustrating myself. I also shot a music video of someone I met while shooting one of the short films I mentioned before. He looks and sounds like a character that escaped the pits of my mind. I hope he can stick around and become part of my life. On a personal level I’m transitioning from cynical to delicate, I'm caressing the edges of my personality until they become softer to the touch. I'm filtering my words and choosing peace even in the cadence of my speech. I’m becoming more rational and patient with myself and surroundings, turning my back to envy and fury. I still cry, but not out of rage, rather sadness and logical frustration. I cried in front of others for the first time in a long time, it wasn’t humiliating, I felt validated and supported. I hope by the time we arrive in September spring also flourishes inside of me.
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owlandsword · 1 year
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my therapy notes.
keep healing, friends.
love, coco💜
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doll-poetry · 2 years
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Just My Person,Just You⭐🌙 @riah._doll ♡ ☆ ☆ #writer #mypoetry #picturepoetry #like #follow #comment #poems #personalwriting #canva #canvadesigns #poet#clickthelink #share #poetrywriter #writercommunity #poetrycommunity #selfpromo #explorepage✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CfHDg6cgCwS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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stringbeansstuff · 2 months
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A 2000s baby perspective
I had an mp3 player, VHS, CDs, DVDs, a blue d.s. I got my first phone at 12, being the oldest had its perks. Every 2-3 years I got a newer phone and in high school I got a laptop.
I spent lots and lots of time during my adolescence on social media. I was bullied, took way too many Snapchat selfies, had a secret Instagram, and stalked my exes. And everything else in-between.
Then I turned 20 and all of a sudden it changed. I started stepping away from social media and my technology.
Deleting mass amounts of pictures, simplifying my social media, and going without my phone. It was slow but the more I stepped away the more I didn't want to go back.
As I continue to be in the present I find peace in my life. I find myself not being strung to my technology. Maybe it's just me, but I hate to say it. Technology is overrated, and being here in the moment is so great that I invite you to join, maybe you can find peace too.
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ancientroyalblood · 5 months
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Finding Your Voice: Embracing Individuality in Writing
Each writer possesses a unique voice—a distinctive fingerprint that sets their work apart. Your writing voice encapsulates your style, tone, and personality, imprinting your narratives with an unmistakable essence. Discovering and embracing your voice is a journey of self-exploration that leads to authenticity and resonance in your writing. Let’s embark on this quest to find and celebrate your…
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thenomadinside · 4 years
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Soundtrack of My Life: 2020 (Mid-Year)
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In my junior year of high school, I enrolled in a honors creative writing course called ‘Search for Self.’ The class helped students discover personal identity, meaning and purpose through a series of creative writing prompts and literature. A few solid reads that I recall from this class include A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Snows of Kilimanjaro and The Pearl. My favorite assignment that came out of this class was one called ‘Soundtrack of My Life.’ Each student was asked to curate a music album composed of 10 select songs and write a paragraph for each song about its context to your life. It was an assignment that really complemented my “ikigai” and I’ve made a conscious effort to continue doing this assignment periodically over the years. Music is one of the few constants in my life and best illustrates my mental health and headspace in that time and moment. After nearly a decade, it is refreshing to go back and review the different genres of songs I was feeling during that time in my life, as well as which songs have truly stayed with me and still remain in my ‘top 10.’
Bullet Train Fantasy by Ibrahim and Luvbird Considered as part of the “chillhop” lofi family, this song is perfect for one of those days when your head is in the clouds. It is very much a song that I can imagine myself listening to while riding the Shinkansen bullet train while casually eating a bento box and sipping an iced green tea. The past few months have all blurred together and sort of feels like riding a bullet train with no destination in sight (think Snowpiercer). The question in all of our minds is just when will the train stop and we’ll be finally let out to breathe?
“From Now On (앞으로)” by Kim Min Seung (김민승) When shelter-in-place first took place, it had me (along with many others I’m sure) spiral down into a dark rabbit hole of binge watching K-dramas. The first drama I binged was ‘Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo,’ which stars Lee Syung-Kung and Nam Joo Hyuk. Highly recommend this one to anybody looking for a lightweight drama as it is an innocently adorable, quirky and easily consumable slice of life series. “From Now On” was one of the drama’s main theme song that brought an upbeat and optimistic energy whatever scene it was overlaid over. I can confirm that my mood definitely perks whenever I hear it playing!
“Heartburn (Jarami Remix)” by Wafia Very few people know this about me but I actually suffered from constant heartburn during my adolescent years. I never had it diagnosed but my assumption was that the pulses were triggered by a poor diet and lack of exercise. It has since disappeared but was always a mystery to me growing up and I’d always ask myself, “Tell me, why does my heart burn this way?” That being said this time around the relapse is a different sort of heartburn.
“Yummy (Summer Walker Remix)” by Justin Bieber Seriously, don’t even bother asking. I am ashamed to say how weirdly obsessed I am with this song because it’s just so…damn… catchy. And yes, I am well aware that the lyrics are horrendous and the meaning behind the song is pretty disturbing. I do think I gain a few redemption points since I prefer the Summer Walker Remix over the original. Summer’s voice adds just a touch of sophistication and balances an otherwise repetitive song.
“Airplane Mode” by Younha I first heard this song in 2019 but it has since resurfaced. This song helped me build a deeper connection with a person who had a completely different taste in literally everything than me. It was truly a monumental moment to be able to identify commonality. I truly value the importance of turning on airplane mode both literally and figuratively. The song reminds me to disconnect from my phone which seems to be spewing nothing but bad news across the world recently as well as investing in self-care time. A minute detail, but I love how the intro to the song starts with the raw shutter sound of a DSLR camera.
“Crashin” by Saint Wknd & Dirty Radio If there was a song that gives me all the “start of summer” feels, it would be this one. This song had already convinced me that this summer was going to be an amazing one and surprisingly, it was! When I listen to this song, I feel as if I’m ready to go somewhere and gives me the confidence and swagger to go about my everyday routine. If you see me walking around with a bit more pep to my stride, chances are I’m probably listening to this song.
“Paper Hearts” by Tori Kelly I first heard of Tori Kelly from her “Rocketeer” cover with AJ Rafael way back in the day before her rise to fame. From that cover alone, I was sold and convinced that she would eventually blow up. I love Tori’s angelic voice and she’s one of the few artists that sound just as good live (if not better) as online. Last year, I organized at a dance series workshop and the choreographer chose this song which made me fall in love with it. The choreography felt very fitting with the lyrics and definitely challenged the class to “feel” the song more and be more interpretive with the movements.
“If You Were Here I’d be Okay” by David Choi This was one of those songs that I distinctly remember binge listening to in the car during my adolescent years. It would give me the energy to get me through the morning grind (clearly this was before I discovered coffee). I’ve recently been on a mission to clean out my files and just happened to stumble across this song amongst my old journal entries. To this day, I’m still shocked that this song didn’t blow and gain the recognition it deserved. The only live video I could find of David performing this song is here – check it out. (skip to 1:18)
“Less of You” by Keshi Yes, yet another lofi song has made my top 10 list! I love all of Keshi’s songs but this one in particular really captures the rawness of his voice which is complimented with the guitar instrumental. There is a sentimental quality to the undertones that really add to the “pain” of the song that is very relatable. I would also like to call out the looping gif on Spotify of this song because it’s truly a mood.
“The Space Between” by Cleopold I find myself more often than I’d like to admit “dancing in the space between” in my everyday life. It can be difficult to get out of and I find it a major blocker when it comes to decision making. Sometimes it works in my favor but other times it doesn’t. This song was perhaps one of the first songs that I started listening to towards the beginning of the year and it gets my juices flowing which is perfect for a good run outside of home workout.
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sxyce · 7 months
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With how often the world moves around you often forget how still the ground is.
- To the busiest of bees, take a break.
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prompt responses 260223
what is the biggest challenge you will face in the next 6 months
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digging digging and digging digging and not knowing what I will find wanting to scream wanting to cry and roll my fists into the tightest balls and myself unto and screaming until i hear myself in the ditch screaming until hearing becomes listening i will listen to myself i will listen because nobody ever has. -sophiaemilyanthony II
does he love me does he not does he even want to know me i question this every time i begin to love
abandonment mistrust and abuse subjugation emotional deprivation
my biggest challenge will be to let that go. let it go and breathe. let it go and leave. they say that it is easier to dance with the devil you know but lets suppose that you hate fucking dancing its not easy its ruthlessly savage its a foxtrot with a headbang and a rollover backwards its nobody realising how scared you are its every body belittling that you feel it.
but he doesnt, he doesnt. he never has. hes never paused in silence with nothing to say. he's never heard me, walked away and not returned...like every past love has. he has listened to me and told me that it is hard to heal in the place that you have been hurt.
he has made me want to go to Berlin he has made me want to go to Melbourne he has made me want to see McQueen the NGV is waiting my life is fucking waiting and while i dont stare at the past but i've realised i let its hand rest on my shoulder and i let its cruelty seep through my skin letting that go. letting that go. -sophiaemilyanthony
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Short Fiction- Untitled
In the backyard sat a camper van, spacious enough to fit a family of eight, a trampoline, and a large above-ground pool. Their house was one of those rich, suburban houses, with a white mother and father and their three children- two boys and a girl. Seven bedrooms, three bathrooms, a decked-out kitchen perfect for hosting holidays, and a special living room for hosting Bible Study on Wednesday nights. Toys piled up and the latest video games were always around. It was a house my family dreamed of living in, and we did live in it. Downstairs sat an uninhabited basement, fully finished with a small kitchen and living space, and three of the house’s bedrooms. This was where my family of seven moved. The best part about the house wasn’t the pool and it certainly wasn’t the trampoline; it was that we were not homeless for the five months that family allowed our stay.
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6feettall · 1 year
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Living in The Big City
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Living in a big city has its own perks and benefits. I live in suburban area that is quite close to the big city and I am familiar with the way the city lifes are. I have to disagree with the statement above because I find living in a big city is very colorful and very accessible. Everything and everyone that you want and need are here for you to discover. There are many foods, stuffs, and activities that you can try. People who live in the big city are coming from different background and cultures. This what makes big city are very dynamic and unique. It is easy to find what you are looking for in the big city, everything is provided to meet everyone's needs. Big city is usually never sleeps that means many stores and shops are open almost 24 hours. You will never find the difficulties in fulfilling your necessities. Big city is also very connected and well designed. There would be no problem to go from one place to another with public transports and better sidewalks. Parks, libraries, coffeeshops, restaurants, and many more places to go on your weekends. Those many advantages of big city can spoil people who get used to live in the big city. However, the downside of living in the big city is that it is expensive to live in. It is also very competitive job market to enter to and because all of the crowds and festivities in the city, people can be easily feeling alone and fall into the pit of depression. This what can make city life loses its appeal. It is when people are too overwhelm to handle a big city and they fail to live up to their dreams.
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inka-is-a-stinka · 3 months
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Fawn
Glowing yellow eyes peer down from the trees. From the grass. From the horizon. There's no counting how many pairs of eyes can see the same thing. A small fawn. Lying alone in a vast grassy meadow. Looking down at her just like the eyes in the trees is the moon. And so it is. A vibrant life to be lived hidden in the trees, overlooked by the ones that gaze upon her now. And so it is a fragile, naive thing lying in the dark, focused on tomorrow rather than what could be the end of today. Perhaps she was born something else and given the wrong legs to stand on. But perhaps it doesn't matter because her flank is peppered with snow-like spots. And even when those spots fade, she'll be the same thing she was as a young one. Prey. But where is the shame in feeding the hungry?
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beautouslysandy · 1 year
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Character and Setting Descriptions: A Baker’s Touch
This is a story that I have created the prologue for and typing up the first chapter for! So excited!
Here is a little backstory with main character descriptions along with setting descriptions.
By- Sandy <3
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Robin Everly Bishop:
• A piette short brunette with shoulder length hair often found in a clawclip with siren-like grey eyes. •She is around the age of 29 and has the occupation of a baker. She is well known for her wedding cakes, cinnamon buns and suprisingly her tea . • She currently lives in her hometown of the rainy, uptight, and bustling London, England. She lives on Castle Bridge Lane at the address of number 6458. Which is where a small cozy cottage lays. • She owns a bakery called “The Sweetest” with her twin sister, Ruby Kings, who manages the bakery’s finances and such. •Ruby is married to ,Christopher Kings, he is 31 and is an Sales Regional Director. I know fancy, right? Not as fancy as their house though. They have a 1 year old son named, Potter Oliver Kings, who is Robin’s nephew whom Robin adores. •Robins hobbies consists of baking, cooking, writing recipes, the rare stop to play pickle ball with friends, and the occasional wildlife preserve trip. • Robin’s love life at the moment isn’t worthy of spot light but there is a blossoming waiting to bloom.
•She met a dashing and highly competitive blond named Everett Cullen’s a couple of months back. He is an CEO at Cullen’s Sports Equipment. He fancies pickle ball and late lunch tea. He’s the age of 30 and is good friends with her sister’s husband, Christoper Kings.
•Robin also met a charming and funny man named, Sebastian Banks, he is a Wildlife Researcher. He is from Australia and is very flirtatious when he is around Robin. He is the brink age of 32 and has been almost everywhere imaginable expect outer space and Florida. He spends his free time writing stories about his latest adventures and fixing old cars.
• Robin fancies both of them, she has too chose before it’s too late. But Robin tends to have second thoughts on decisions which in this case isn’t allowed.
•She smells of sugar and flowers, the flowers are often daisies and sunflowers.
Ruby Eva Kings:
• A flattering and bossy bob-cutted brunette who is the age of 29 the same as her twin sister, Robin Bishop. • She is a very organized and intelligent woman who loves her life, family, friends, and of course sweet treats. • Ruby is a very sentimental person, she keeps birthday cards, photos, you name it and Ruby most likely has it.
•She is married to a lovely and handsome 31 year old man named Christoper Kings. Who is a Sales Regional Director. They have been married for 2 years. She gave birth to their child Potter Olive Kings on January 11th, 2022. • They live in a white painted wooded house in a safe suburban neighborhood. With the white picket fences and they well-managed hedges out front and the old sturdy oak tree with a swing hanging from an extended branch. On Birch Drive and are number 1490. • She enjoys Jazz Music and making her grandmother recipes. And spending lots of time with her twin, Robin.
•She is quite the chatter and wants her sister to be happy even if that means intervening. •She smells of lemonade (her specialty), sometimes crayons and citrus.
Everett Cullen:
• A blond, fit, and competitive young 30 year old man. Who has started a company from the dirty bottom to the polished top. He owns Cullen’s Sports Equipment. He is very proud of his work as one would expected to be in his position. • He likes pickle ball and horse races as he has plenty of money to throw at them. He is close friends with Christopher Kings, they have been friend since high school and have been close ever since.
• He fancies Christopher’s sister-in-law, Robin Bishop, he is often a confident lad but with the women he is all over the place. He feels foolish after he speaks to her as he often stutters or gets pink in the face.
• He needs to come up with a plan to ask her to dinner or tea time. But will his nerves get the best of this fine young man?
• He smells like freshly opened pickle balls, coffee, and cologne.
Sebastian Banks:
• This dashing, olive-skinned, and intelligent gentlemen is one of a kind. He is a Wildlife Researcher from the deep ends of Sydenham, Australia who finds peace in cars and writing about his latest adventures into the wilderness.
•He is the created of a non-profit called “The Wild Is Better” it’s an organization that takes in injured animals and try’s the absolute best to return them to the right full home if they cannot they send them to “Truly Wildlife Preserve” which is also owned by Sebastian. He has worked at many preserves and company’s that he can truly profit and learn from his company and such. •He knows what he is doing.
•He can be very flirtatious if he so chose to, it can often cause a havoc. He has grown a crush on an owner of a favorite bakery of his where he spends quite frankly any of his past time there. Her name is Robin Bishop.
•He owns a Saint Bernard named Louie. He often brings to the bakery, the bakery is pet friendly.
• This lad smells of freshly cut grass, ink, and dogs.
BAKERY- “The Sweetest” :
•A corner bakery nestled into a town square. It it busted by many. You will find people of all kinds. University students, business people, families stopping by for a snack, tourist, and many more. •It’s walls are painted an off white and are filled with photographs of places around the world. It’s food shelf are full of the sweetest and homemade treats that you come up with. They have a range of sconce’s to tiramisu. They have two chalkboards filled with popular treats and todays special. •Once you go once, you will keep coming back. Which you find is the case with many of the customers.
•They have a book center with tables surround by book cases full of classic to the newest releases of Jenn Bennett.
• The tables have different unique flowers in a clear vase in the center. The place is spotless and well-loved by many. • The back of the bakery is the kitchen which is in view of the customers to prove that the baker uses the freshest of ingredients. It’s a wooded countered kitchen with a large island and a generously sized fridge
•Smells of freshly baked bread, mixes of perfume
and cologne, and tea.
Ruby’s Cottage:
• A cozy and small cottage located outside the loud and busy main streets do London. •It is packed with nick nacks and filled to the brim with recipes Robin has made and/or discovered. It has a very warm and homey feel to it. With blankets and comfy arm chairs. •Classic story’s and poetry lace the book shelves that are up on the walls. • Lots of natural light fill the rooms of this tight-fit and homey cottage. With a garden out in the backyard. In the front a white SUV is parked, the trunk is full of cooler and containers that often are full of sweets and goodies. •The cottage is Robin’s safe place, a place to go when she wants to escape her chaotic and often messy life. • It’s her space, her bedroom is full of plants, she finds plants intriguing. They are beautiful and have different quirks and needs. • She has a king bed that is covered by a fluffy sage green comforter and is piled with fluffy and satin pillows. With knitted blankets. She is in there a good amount of time that she isn’t in the bakery. • She has a cat named, Muffin, who likes to cuddle when Robin is home. He is a black cat which fits her unique personality just right. •Her home smells of cinnamon buns, freshly cracked books, and newly watered plants.
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owlandsword · 1 year
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“Those who are born in fire will burn in death.”
Fear & Fire
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doll-poetry · 2 years
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Twilight Love♡ @riah._doll ▪︎ #writer #mypoetry #picturepoetry #like #follow #comment #poems #personalwriting #poetryoflife #POL📖 #Amazon  #amazonbooks #podcast #canva #canvadesigns #podcasting #poet #book #poetrybook #clickthelink #share #poetrywriter #writercommunity #poetrycommunity #selfpromo #kdp #kindledirectpublishing #explorepage✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce3pKgwOwfX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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sealedwithmusk · 2 years
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I was used to this idea of—Let them have their vessels be filled first and you can have the last shot if you deserve and if they ask for more, you can squeeze a bit, pour unto them and have the last drop, you'll be fine dear, you'd always be fine. As I repeated these words to myself.
-Sldnctr
#personalwriting
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