#personal-ish?

[starrattlerofprydain]

I feel icky lately. The idea of cutting ties with people hurts. Sometimes it's for the best but the guilt remains, you know? At least in some cases.

Other times, I'm kinda glad I dodged those bullets asjlkdgsd

I just hate that I've been having trouble vibing with people lately. Idk if it's them or if it's me. Thanks, anxiety 👍

#personal-ish? #ramblings and scramblings

[superwavesmasher]

So I’m afraid I’ve been a little biased on what I post on this blog and I’m curious if I should change the username and let someone else take on the community name.

#ronin warriors #samurai troopers #yoroiden samurai troopers #personal-ish?

[fence-time]

I think the very few interactions they have together are so silly

#fence posts #skizzleman #ldshadowlady #secret life #trafficblr #traffic series #life series #thinking about Lizzie being like the only person ever to remember Kevin bubbles’ full(ish) name #also. creature skizz confirmed??? #/silly

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[zukoshotleafjuice]

and if i say that aang and katara's romance overshadowed aang and katara's relationship, would that make any sense to anyone other than me?

people are so used to viewing this show solely through a shipping lens (a flaw that is almost entirely the fault of the creators) that it hardly leaves space for examining the frankly incredible katara-aang interpersonal dynamic. like, for katara, aang is almost akin to a god. especially in the beginning, for her he symbolizes hope and love and admiration and he is almost larger-than-life. a child and a god. she will protect him and rely on him because through him suddenly, suddenly there's a chance that maybe her mother's sacrifice wasn't for nothing. maybe if she can help aang, love aang, then kya dying was worth it. and for aang, too, katara is his whole world. sokka too, of course, but katara's are the first eyes he saw when he woke up a hundred years after everyone he loved had vanished. it's her that keeps him grounded when he's overwhelmed with grief that he doesn't even know how to begin to process, because it's almost impossible for a child's mind to comprehend the scale of loss he's experienced. he loses his family, and she becomes his whole world. yes, he is saving the world for the sake of the world, but really he's saving the world for katara.

idk. upon rewatch, it's almost like love isn't really enough to capture what these two have going on. it's sheer devotion. it's a strange amalgamation of worship and adoration and mutual deification. it's fucking fascinating and regardless of whether you ship them romantically personally i don't, really , the relationship is so so profound. the depth of their love for each other is really on another level.

romance is secondary to what katara and aang have. they're each other's person first.

#no matter WHAT you ship katara and aang are each other's person! they adore each other! #atla #avatar the last airbender #kataang #ish? #katara #aang

[ellis-reblogs]

Nonbinary and genderqueer folks of tumblr

Feel free to tag your name (and gender identity if you please)

#personally i altered my middle name and later found out it was a real name #and i’m agender ish. mostly i stick to ‘nonbinary’ because I like the flag #nonbinary #genderqueer #genderfluid #genderfuck #lgbtq #queer #poll #chosen name #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #lgbt+

[niinnyu]

SNOWBALL FIIIGHTTT!!

#I adore that picture of yuuji so much have it framed in my mind rotating it at all the time #look at his >:))) energy!!!! #gosh i miss them #itadori yuuji #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #tokyo trio #jjk tokyo trio #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk art #redraw #panel redraw #ish ig #YUUUUJIIIIIIIIII #i just felt like bullying megumi just a bit #don't worry he looks back at this fondly #as do i... a fourth person not in the equation #anyway #nobara came out so cute in the first-second panel gaaahhhh #ok #niinnyu arts #niinnyu comics

[uncanny-tranny]

I love love love when trans women* give advice to trans men* about """manly""" things and when trans men* return that kindness with advice about """womanly""" things. I love the intracommunity commitment to supporting each other <<3

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #obviously it's better when that advice and guidance is consentual #if you ever want to give that advice do be sure that that person is even seeking that out #i have made advice posts which i try to state as neutrally as possible to ensure that whomever wants the advice can read it #but by no means are those posts intended to force you to change or to do things outside of what you want y'know? #ANYWAY thank you to trans women for unironically teaching me how to shave when i didn't know how #(i read the book Nevada partway and that was how i started to learn how to shave my face) #(and i've gotten a decent-ish close shave though i do admit i'm not that good at it. i'm kinda lazy actually LOL) #chin stubble is genuinely one of the worst sensory things for me and i'm so grateful that i was taught by trans women about it :)!!! #genuinely me when other trans people: 🥰

[jinaxxo]

memory no. 8 redraw ☀️🌿

#a little weird to mention this here #also spoiler-ish?? #but #zelda's memories in totk always remind me of that one tiktok with the encanto memojis #😭 sonia and rauru are just like: you have every single one of our gifts. you are the true miracle #and zelda's like: OH MY GOD!!!!!! #lucky girl has both light AND time powers 🥹 #ANYWAY #my art #personal #digital art #totk #zelda #tears of the kingdom #princess zelda #queen sonia #the legend of zelda #nintendo #fanart #digital illustration #digital painting #redraw #zelda fanart

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

joking aside, I love this site. I have learned so much from this site. I have received so much love and support from this site, and I hope to be here for years to come (especially now that we accidentally won Least Worst Social Media Platform, despite our very best efforts)

that being said, taking a break was really helpful for me mentally. it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to keep people entertained so they would like me. I'm talking like, 'rereading & editing a single dumb shitpost a dozen times a day' levels of overthinking.

So yeah: I love it here, I plan to keep making people (and myself) laugh, but going forward I'm going to be putting less pressure on myself to be as entertaining/active as i used to aim for. Less "I choked on my gogurt" levels of humor, more "sensible chuckle." (sometimes I may even indulge in a joke that purposefully fails to resonate with the audience! it will be quite a mischievous little treat for me 🤭.)

anyways please be patient if my posts lack a certain pizzazz going forward. the pizzazz is out of stock. no there is none in the back room. the pizzazz is on back order ok. no I'm not paying for expedited shipping. our supplier is experiencing a shortage. pizzazz is a controlled substance, do you have no understanding of the paperwork involved? piss off with your piddling pizzazz

TLDR if you think my posts were mediocre before just u wait sweetheart you ain't seen nothing yet. (they are going to get worse. what I'm saying is they are going to get even more underwhelming. i feel good about this.)

#serious post #ish #do i have tenure? is tumblr tenure a thing? #either way from here on out i am PHONING IT IN MY BABIES! #you get a reblogged post from 2021! you get a rebloggrd post! you get a reblogged post! #and you! get a piece of horrific fanart! that's been containly secured in the ask box since 2020 #and YES it contains the Grinch x Tony the Tiger in delicisio fragrantance #ps I lied there IS a small supply of Pizzazz left on the top shelf but i am hoarding it for my own personal use

[timeladix]

Friends with benefits but the benefit is giving each other societally unacceptable long hugs and generally being more touchy while literally being friends and not actually a couple

#the person i had a crush on told me that she already knew i liked her like that bc of how long i used to hug her.. and like... #No???? #i want long hungs with most of my frinds?? i just don't feel safe enough?? like what if it gets misinterpreted?? exactly like she did?? #i hate it here #i just wanna hug and hold hands and it to not be deemed as flirting or 'giving signals' or any other bulshit #i'm tired and i want a hug #mine #personal stuff #ish #queer stuff #?? #hugs #friendship stuff #autistic #actually autistic #aromantic #asexual #aroace #and it doesn't apply only to us aroace spec people but to most people like I M SURE OTHERS STRUGGLE WITH THIS TOO #mental health

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 107

“Hey uh pal, what you got there…?”

Grundy hummed a rumble, blinking slowly as he turned slightly towards his… what were they… Not an enemy, not a threat… they were… friend! Yes, they were the friend that didn’t mind that whenever he came back he came back different. 

He uncurled his arms slightly, proudly showing his friend what he’d found splashing in the water growling angrily. His friend blinked, mouth opening and closing for a few moments as he waited patiently, careful not to drop the squirming duo. 

“Babies,” he proudly declared as they let out squeaky roars. 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #solomon grundy #vlad plasmius #danny fenton #prompts #why yes those are definitely roars and not grumpy yells #Grundy found a pair of cores after a strange magic spike #He is Dad now #Waylon is friend so he can be... uncle #Waylon is part of his Fright now no take backs #Sure do hope the bats aren't freaking out too much #Grundy staring down at the pair of undead toddlers that formed in his arms #Grundy slowly doing lady math meme: Babies?? My babies???? #Sure do hope no one goes and enters his haunt when he's feeling broody #Grundy can beat up superman so a normal-ish person is getting mauled #Grundy: This baby is Sunday and this baby is Friday :) #Waylon still freaking out over the fact there's a pair of undead toddlers now:

[excali8ur]

Die already.

#This is 2012 Raph but ngl. Mirage vibes #blood #art #2012 raph #raph #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2012 #Was gonna do more with this but I liked the sketchy stuff so I left it #Song is barely related but I like it and it's on my Raph-ish playlist so here we are. #If I had a dollar for every time I drew an angry person wiping blood from their bleeding nose I would have 343624792498546783458748 dollars

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

happy pride here's a compilation of sokka's queerest moments

#god sokka just has a crush on so many random one-off book 2 characters huh #anyways let me know if i missed anything #sokka #nina's personal log #my fanvids #ish

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Bard-aby <3 except he's only loosely a bard bc i don't subscribe to absolutes <3

rambles:

BARNABY WITH PANTS??? BLASPHEMY!!! however this is a (dnd-inspired) fantasy au so. pants! loose pants tucked into modified boots because no one can tell me No!

based off of Clown's pokemon au human Barn, it seems like he might be a bit of a jewelry guy! he was wearing rings! and had an earring! also i think Barn just looks great w/ some extra shinies, yk yk

since ties aren't really a Thing in fantasy settings, i combined the iconic pattern w/ his vest for a two-in-one. then suspenders bc they fuck severely! his belt buckle is a bone both as a nod to the pattern on his tie / house decoration, and to go along with how Wally has an apple buckle! besties stay twinning!

you can't see it but on his other side he has his pack & his smoking pipe holster, which attaches to his belt! it's very high quality leather that he spent so much money on. his pipe is important to him - he carved it himself out of wood from an important tree from his childhood, so he wants it to be properly stored & protected! he has two kinds of tobacco for it - normal, and magic tobacco that essentially allows him to cast minor spells w/ the smoke

the feathers on his hat are from Ms. Beagle! in my mind he left the farm to go adventuring on a bit of a bad note, but his mama made sure to give him a couple feathers to take with so that she'd always be close <3

he keeps his claws blunt so that he doesn't accidentally scratch people/things, and so that he can play stringed instruments without cutting the strings. while i imagine for this au he plays a wide range, he prefers Loud Handheld Instruments that allow him to sing along. so in mind he has an Accordion here! loud! jaunty! but i imagine he also keeps a recorder in his pack for when Frank needs annoying. (he did have a lute, but he broke it over someone's head in the act of defending Wally's honor)

im still trying to pin down the right balance of colors for his outfit, but! for a little au tidbit - all of his spots are the same two blues as his ears. in this im imagining that he, at a young age, learned a very basic cosmetic spell that allowed him to change his spots color to mimic Ms. Beagle's! he wanted to look like his mama! but by the time he's in his late 20s he no longer changes his spots

ohhhh i forgot to add his pockets. Oh Well

#i wanted him to look um.... Put Together? #barn strikes me as a character that likes to look a lil sophisticated in a way! #and i wanted that to come across in this fit... dont know if i succeeded #i still wanted to have Bard-ish / Barnaby Vibes #i can easily imagine him reclined by a tree absentmindedly playin his accordion... smokin... in this outfit hat tipped down over his eyes #barnaby my beloved <3 #and bardaby my beloved <3 #also ill admit!!! #that lute is traced from a real image lmfao there was no way in hell i was scribbling that thing from scratch #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #i lowkey feel bad for barnaby when he finds out about the whole warlock thing #bc hes been traveling with wally for Years #barnaby likes to think that he knows everything about his little buddy #and then wally has to be like 😬 #yeah im actually not technically a real person #also there's this 'demon' i have a pact with & also a weird kinda non-platonic Cant Be Accurately Labeled intimate relationship with #oh and i sometimes sacrifice innocent people to it in a pinch. the rest of the time we eat enemies' souls #and barnaby just has to! deal with that! like oh great! his bestie has been lying to his face since they met! #ands its been Seamless Lying! #suffice to say barnaby has a crisis #and now since wally can be more open about home #there's a sort of... pointless Rivalry for wally's attention/affection #even though barnaby definitely misjudges the situation and how home feels about wally... #oh switching gears back to the instrument thing! #in my mind barnaby also knows how to play the harp really well #and howdy's tavern has a corner for live music - which includes a permanently placed harp <3 #so i think on quiet days barnaby will go play the harp while howdy cleans glasses & the others do their own quiet things #maybe its raining outside! or Snowing! but the tavern is cozy and warm & there is beautiful music <3

[ruporas]

only human

[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.

The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #<-- should i add that to the original post... if it's effective? #anyway this was a direct sequel to the previous post... i had a lot of thoughts when i drew it but my brain is failing me rn #something something about being granted that bit of mundanity and then running into some situation that whiplashes u back into the identity #u were built and trained to be. that at the end of the day its not possible to just be without dirtying your hands again #he's used to it but ww will forever be someone too kind too tender hearted to really be eased out of the cold lifestyle he's forced to live #and i personally dont think trimax vash could look at wolfwood with disdain or disappointment when catching him after the fact #he knows where wolfwood's heart lies he's seen the way wolfwood killed to protect and he thanked him for it too. i think him understanding #ww deeper in that way would just make his heart wretch so all he can offer is a comfort and arms to return to. #to reassure that he can still be loved even with the blood on his hands #i also think i drew an illustration when i first got into trigun depicting this same ish message.... #i'm just very particular about this Subject. i need ww to be loved i need him to be reassured even if he'll still refuse to believe he's #worthy of it like AUGHHH. ok. #ruporas art