no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.
too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.
2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?
but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.
as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.
which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.
the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.
so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.
and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.
but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.
people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".
but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.
but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.
a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.
i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.
and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.
it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.
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I can't believe I have to say this, but:
If you are a nazi blog, please fuck off. Fuck so far off you leave the planet. Fuck off right into the sun. And then keep fucking off. You are unwanted in every conceivable way that someone could be unwanted.
Fuck you. Fuck off.
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still seeing far too many "reblog to piss off terfs" "fuck terfs" sentiments and not enough encouraging and supporting and loving trans people. yes fuck terfs but if you're reblogging their hateful takes bc there's an epic own or whatever in the notes you're still subjecting your trans friends to seeing those takes and still giving them the reach and attention they crave. it seems like some of you are so distracted by and just salivating at the thought of Potentially making a terf cry that you'll expose your real trans friends to the hateful rhetoric they spit without a second thought.
right now especially we need to be prioritizing supporting trans people when their identities, their expression, and their Lives are being litigated and legitimately threatened everywhere.
to my trans friends and followers and anyone who sees this, loving you and supporting you and ensuring you feel safe will always be more important to me than dunking on a disgusting, hateful, miserable wretch of a human being. i'm proud of you and rooting for you always.
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if you need, or want, to block someone, don’t ever doubt a single bit in doing it.
Especially, if it’s someone that was a friend, or mutual, and they overstepped your boundaries.
(what’s in italics is a little anecdote that made me want to do this post, so feel free to skip it until the letters are normal.)
I wanted to make this post mainly because I think there are a few people that might need this. Yesterday, I decided to (finally) make the decision of blocking someone I knew for almost a year, to whom I had been very close; but a series of uncomfortable events had made me want to lose all contact with him.
He sent me things I told him several times that made me feel terribly uncomfortable, but he continued sending them to me trying to reassure me they were cute and pure, and insisted that surely deep down inside I thought the same, when in reality it was the weirdest, most fetishist content I had ever seen and always avoided because it made me feel uncomfortable.
No matter how many times I told him that as much as I respected his likings, that content wasn’t for me and it ACTUALLY made me feel terribly off-put and not comfortable at all. Yet, he kept shoving it down my throat, and wanted me to go along with it.
Not only that, but when he contacted my close friends, he could NEVER act like a normally decent person, he wanted everyone to go along with it and made my friends feel terribly uncomfortable, and weirded out. Plus, he asked me to be his girlfriend TWICE this year, and first he said he was drunk (which he clearly wasn’t, as he had sent videos and audios and all; merely an excuse because i politely rejected him as i could only see him as a friend), and second time it seemed as if he was about to cry. And not only that, but as well insinuated several times that we would eventually meet up and HAVE SEX, LIKE ???
To which, yesterday I decided to finally send him a rather long YET polite message explaining how I didn’t want to talk to him anymore due to all these things I just mentioned, how uncomfortable and disrespected I felt, and that I would proceed to block him... And I think, I was far more polite than I actually should, as I should have told him to fuck off. And right after that, a friend told me he had deactivates his accounts. Too bad for him, but that was straight up immature to react that way. I literally feel freed away from this.
So, the point is, if you want to block someone no matter for how long you have met them, or if they are your friends or not, do it. Especially, if you told them several times that certain things made you feel uncomfortable and they kept going on with it, or even thought that any particular way you genuinely felt was funny (like in some cases in this situation).
You should never let yourself be walked over as a doormat. You should have a clear set of boundaries established, and you should always focus on your mental wellbeing. Setting boundaries can be rather difficult, but you should know when to establish them with someone in the early stages of what should be a friendship if you want to avoid these situations.
And if you already are in a situation such as this, talk to the person. If you have no need of blocking them then just straight up have a serious conversation, don’t go along with it merely out of politeness as uncomfortable as it makes you feel. Don’t let someone screw up with your thoughts and feelings, or make you feel uncomfortable. Speak out your mind to them.
Anyways, take care of youself, lovelies. And if you need someone to talk to, I will always be here active through askbox or dms. 💕
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imagine owning a website that you actively market towards a specific crowd and then don't do anything about the very real threats to the lives of that specific crowd and have even been sued because of your moderation tendencies that actually actively and unfairly target that specific crowd, and then when you're supposed to be on vacation you go out of your way to cause a giant stir by chain-banning a specific person belonging to that specific crowd for inoffensive reasons and then you go stalk and harass that specific member of that specific crowd on a completely different site and then victim blame that person, then whine and cry about how nobody likes you even though you are the cause of all your own misery
is being a giant manchild just a necessary qualification to be a tech company ceo or something
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Honest to God starting following you for your art cuz I loved the dynamics, the AUs, the fact they feel like siblings. (The art with Cass climbing on Jason is currently my favorite) it wasn't until you called yourself out that I'm like "Oh, their hands are weir" but the Lanterns AU with Star Sapphire Jason shit talking Bruce is my favorite comic ever.
It's the palms I keep making them longer then they should be and I don't know why your palm should be the same length as your middle finger just another example of me being lazy, I think the reason I like drawing the batfam specifically tho is bc I understand their sibling dynamic and relate to it alot like them my family also all hate each other and is the most dysfunctional toxic thing you've ever seen
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