#other than I enjoyed myself immensely and it's a very fun show

[notbecauseofvictories]

what have you been watching/reading/listening to recently? i love your media opinions

I have terrible media opinions, but thank you for asking anyway!

WATCHING My latest fascination is with Netflix's 1670, a mockumentary comedy set in early modern Poland. There's something about a irreverent historical comedy that always finds me where I live---I loved season two of Miracle Workers for that exact reason, plus The Little Hours. Even The Court Jester, though that one is more just because I love Danny Kaye.

1670 is very funny, filmed Office-style with asides and pointed looks to the camera. Nobleman Jan Paweł is familiar, a trusty blend of ignorance, bluster, and unintentional comedy; rounding out the group is his ultra-devout wife, a lazy eldest son, his second son, a scheming priest who wants to climb the Catholic ranks and has a taste for torture, his over-educated over-liberal daughter, and a handful of locals---including Maciej, from Norway, who is apprenticed to the blacksmith on a study abroad program. There's a particularly good scene where his daughter starts crusading against climate change---but the people of the town stop listening when she announces it will happen in 480 years.

"Thirty years sounds more terrifying. We'd definitely do something then," one of them says, staring down the lens of the camera.

READING I think one of the strangest bits of growing older is the realization that the world is growing older with you. For example, I just read Mattie Lubchansky's Boys' Weekend, which is a charming, unsettling dystopian graphic novel in its own right---however, it also forcibly punted me back to about 10 years ago, when I loved Matt Bors and The Nib and was thrilled by the idea that the Sunday funny pages might give way for their 2.0 cousin.

That world has gone away, been eaten up---something the novel touches on, ironically. Still, it's surprisingly affective to think that Lubchansky and I have been moving forward all this time, each in our separate ways. That even now, a decade later, I can pick up a library book and know their lineart at a glance.

LISTENING Lately, I can't get enough of Larry & Joe---a fusion band, made up of a USian banjo picker and a Venezuelan master of musica llanera. Their music is a delight, and dovetails with some of my other favorites. (I do still listen to the album fusing Chinese folk music and Appalachian old-time, and I love that playlist of metal music from many cultures.) There's something that gets me about musicians swapping sounds this way---maybe because it's the same thing that created so many music genres in the first place. And if you've been following me long enough, you know I'm weak for a huge, weird, mess of people making noise.

#from the bookshelf #I also watched the entirety of Bob's Burgers while working on Christmas gifts #but I don't have more to say about that #other than I enjoyed myself immensely and it's a very fun show

[targaryen-dynasty]

Fandom can be overwhelming. And a ton of writers surely can agree that it puts an immense pressure on your shoulders you sometimes struggle to take care of.

And it was like that for me quite some time ago. Back when I started writing, I was a half-baked writer and even less experienced with fandom etiquette in general. I just stumbled into fandoms, not really knowing what it all was about. After posting my first fanfic that was based on a role play storyline a former friend and I had, and seeing how well it did, I got lost in the rush of attention and interaction as well in the people asking for a part two and what not. I am wiser now, and things like that don‘t affect me anymore (honestly), but back then, it led me to resort to shitty things to be able to post stuff as quickly as possible.

And that‘s plagiarism.

Many, many (traumatic) things have happened to me in the years before that, and while that‘s no excuse, knowing it might give an insight of what‘s been going on with me.

Just so you understand, it all has happened more than a year ago, I got called out by the original author and very quickly deleted the few things related to it. I have also not done it again since then, but it has still happened. I have lifted a good bit of that writer’s things of a series I truly enjoyed, yet it didn’t help with my anxiety. But I still received recognition for it and should feel good, right? It felt nice, right? No, no it didn’t.

I refused to say it out loud, because I was ashamed and afraid, and should have known better back then (although there was no way for me to know. I was inexperienced in writing, fandom, and some life things in general). But with all the fandom bullshit going on now, and these informations in the hands of the wrong people, I deem it most fitting to admit it now to free myself of that burden and take back my power. There are screenshots where these people admitted they wanted to call me out based on the apology doc I made to inform them, but couldn’t simply because they didn’t have any access to it anymore, and how they made fun of me for it — while they also called me nasty things. And on top of that, these people went around and told my secret to several people. While I trusted them to keep quiet, they always claimed there would be other people I told that would definitely spill the secret, but these people didn’t. It were them.

I am by now way justifying what I did, I don’t want to do that. But it‘s meant to finally show my responsibility for that mistake. I‘m an adult, yes, but that doesn’t mean I am immune to making them. I am still learning, and with this, I‘ll take a step back from writing for I don’t know how long. Could be a few days, weeks, months or until season two airs.

Thank you for reading, I’m sorry, and lots of love,

Laura.

Unfollow me, unlike my stuff, stop supporting me: do whatever feels right for you. I don’t blame you. But it‘s been done, and I’m sorry for it. There‘s nothing more I can do to make it better.

I won‘t shut down my anons. So, if you have something to say to me now — feel free to do it.

#laura talks 🐉 #I apparently have no grasp of English #so if there are any mistakes — idc #this is going to blow up on discord i just know

[soullessjack]

listen i get your frustration about how people treat jack, i hate when people reducd him down to just a destiel baby too. but as an autistic person myself, i really disagree with you calling people that like baby jack ableist. he's canonically 4 years old and had to have his childhood basically stripped away from him due to how dangerous it was. i don't think people enjoying the thought of him getting to have that chance at a happy childhood is as cruel and evil as you seem to think.

hi, I’m actually going to answer this differently than I did at first, because I feel like I missed the point and spent way too much time on the canon logistics of “giving Jack a childhood that he chose to skip and is never shown to want,” or that he’s actually pretty obviously portrayed as a teenager in the show, or that his character fundamentally revolves around autonomy & the struggle to have it, and not enough on the actual ableism. I’m also going to be a lot meaner this time, sorry.

honestly, you don’t get my frustrations. you don’t get that this isn’t some petty fandom drama about “muh fav being misunderstood” or “grr this content bad.” you don’t get my frustration if you think that’s all there is to any of this. this is something with an actual bearing on reality and the entire topic of representation in general, which you’d get if you took your head out of your ass and looked around for once. autistic people are still immensely underrepresented and misrepresented in most mainstream media. we are still seen and treated as circus animals, as punchlines, as lesser humans if not subhumans, and we have to face that alongside navigating a world that is wholly and systemically unnavigable to us. fiction and fandoms are an escape for many people, but especially marginalized people who long for community and representation.

the autistic community has a pretty long history of resonating with nonhuman characters in fiction over time, from robots to aliens to monsters in horror movies. because whether it’s their mannerisms or specific struggles or even narrative experiences, they resonate with us. jack resonates with us. he’s important to us as autistic people—and namely, as autistic adults who very rarely see ourselves represented in ways that don’t depict us as gross man-children, infantilized precious beans or emotionless geniuses. in fact, the very notion that autistic people are inherently childlike or mentally children directly leads into our sole representation being children, and even more into the treatment of us as “precious small beans.” does that ring any fucking bells to you yet?

jack might not have been intentionally written with autism or representation on mind, but this fandom literally builds itself up on coding and unintentional implications. he was also confirmed to be autistic anyways, so anyone still whining should just grow the fuck up about it. also, ironically, most accidentally autistic characters end up being the best kind lmao. but these discussions? these analyses by autistic fans —and even just fans who actually care about his complexities — only exist within our own little circles, and the idea of baby!jack is very much the fandom’s steadfastly going mainstream version of him—so much so that people are convinced it’s actually canon, they die on that hill like it’s some obligation to uphold. and any viewing of his canon character with nuance or complexity, or even his basic personality, is left to gather dust. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s over-saturating and supersedes actual canon. it stops becoming people having fun when it’s actually fucking harmful.

it’s frustrating as a general fan, but downright upsetting as an autistic fan who sees themself in him and has to witness every fucking day — in a community that prides itself on being a big found family no less — the infantilization of traits I and other autistic people express, and the stubborn justification of him being “actually a toddler” with even more autistic traits. There are literal scraps of canon adult Jack content to engage with; of any semi-intelligent thoughts on him to indulge in.

what you don’t get (or you refuse to get) that there is a direct correlation between all of this, the way jack is treated (ie ‘reduced to a destiel baby’) and the ableist infantilization surrounding his character. as in, this content directly feeds into his treatment, which then feeds back into the content made of him, which then feeds back again into his treatment in a horrible and exhausting cycle.

what you don’t get is that constantly regurgitating content where the baseline is jack being actively stripped of his identity and autonomy for the sake of becoming an accessory to Destiel/Sastiel/the Domestic Winchester Family is inherently rooted in layers of deep ableist rhetoric, and you can perpetuate all of that even without any intent for it. I’m not a fucking moron, and I’m not the big bad guy you’re talking to me like. I don’t think anyone who enjoys baby!jack is inherently “cruel” or “evil,” or turning jack into a baby while thinking “this’ll stick one to those retards,” and twirling their moustache, okay? and it’s really so funny to me that you’re trying to point the finger back at me. at least you tried.

what you don’t get is that whenever autistic fans voice our perspective on baby!jack, we’re fucking ignored. we’re fed the same rotten slop over and over and over again. “But we want him to be happy!” “But it’s an AU, it’s not canon!” “But he actually is a baby because XYZ!” “But, but!” Buts are not an argument, they’re the thing you still haven’t found a way to pull your heads out of. maybe the lack of oxygen from so many people in one small dark space is why you’re so fucking stubborn to understand this.

you wanna know what is cruel? being told that you are doing something hurtful, something harmful and something that painfully reflects real life struggles a real community goes through, and shrugging it off. being aware of the value something brings to someone else, and stripping it away simply because it doesn’t matter to you personally. finding another But or a corner-cut to excuse yourself from blame. you didn’t have the decency to listen when general fans said “hey this is kind of annoying can we treat him like an actual person,” and you don’t even have the decency to concede when autistic people are saying this is a deeply wrong thing to do.

if you have to ignore an entire community’s voice to feel better about the content you’re making that directly hurts them, if you don’t personally think it’s harmful or even real because autistic struggles are never real, then I am well within reason to assume you’re not a good person. it’s one thing to do something wrong because you’re uninformed, and it’s another thing entirely to continue to do that when you’ve been informed, and simply decided that it wasn’t worth changing or stopping.

believe me, as an autistic person I am well used to being isolated, to not being anyone’s priority in this capitalistic circle of hell. I am ready to expect my struggles and existence to be tokenized for somebody else to feel good, or squeeze money from. Im used to seeing movies portray my experience as some Manic Pixie Star-seed or creepy overgrown child. I know the world doesn’t care about me. But I don’t think I’m asking too much for this, the big found family fandom that’s been shown to care so much about every other problem, to care about me. To listen when it’s hurting me, or uplift something I care about.

I don’t think I’m asking for anything less than this family to actually treat me like I am part of it. But can you even do that?

#holdthypeace.txt #spn #supernatural #jack kline #autistic jack kline #spn fandom #baby jack #baby jack au #team free will 2.0 #tfw2.0 #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #dadstiel #destiel #deancas #domestic destiel #supernatural fandom #fandom criticism #jack kline supernatural #jack spn #autistic characters #sorry this got so long lol I hope it isn’t too much for you to read #not even going into how jackgirls in general have no fandom presence that isn’t self contained #the autistic experience is being isolated everywhere forever for something everyone knows except you. #sastiel #toddler jack kline #spn family

[yajuachi]

So I’m reading Pandora Hearts seriously this time and hopefully i don’t decide to take a break only for that break to be indefinitely long because i have new content anxiety and get scared when i enjoy things, ( as seems to happen with many things i start.. ) But anyways wow these bitches are all so damn cute, I love Alice Oz and Gil so much. I love Gil and Alice’s bickering and, i can tell they will definitely get to care about each other a lot in the near future. I always find it really sweet observing how much affection is displayed between Jun Mochizuki’s characters. And its subtle and not always made a fuss about but i notice it and it makes them all feel that much more real and connected to each other. Silly things like Gil putting his hat on Oz or Sharon drying Gil’s hair is important to me and i appreciate that sort of subtle relationship building especially when i know I’m in for a series with a bunch of characters and interactions. If i had to pick a favorite so far, Break is definitely stealing the show as the absurd and morally questionable weirdo. He’s insensitive as hell and i love it, very old man of him. And despite his coercing i trust him simply because he’s a very honest manipulator. He’s a watch it play out and explain later kind of guy cause it would ruin the fun otherwise, he is the ¿mad hatter?…after all so he’s chaos for the sake of it. Alice and Oz are tied for now but i have a feeling Alice is gonna win my heart. Its the impression of a girl who really needs a hug and i have a soft spot for that sort of destructive loneliness i sense in her. Oz intrigues me to no end because he’s trying to be the typical optimistic smiley main character except he’s just a little more aware than i’m used to seeing and i love it. It’s the kind of attitude that’s not completely fitting for the world circumstances and even tho its used to liven up the mood it fails to convince you or the other characters. I don’t get the sense that he’s like that for other people as much as it’s for himself. His optimism is disturbing to everyone and that’s something i love to see be leaned into for a main character. “I’m curious about what it was that warped you so,”. I know there’s going to be a lot to him and i am not ready. As for Gilbert, he is so incredibly sweet that it almost guarantees immense suffering in his future. If someone has not drawn him bargaining gum with Alice and Oz like Aki from csm i might have to because they’re both in the big brother club to me. Or Oz might even be the gum dealer just to get the two to stop fighting lol.

Thats enough for now and I’m really enjoying everything so far, i will update again when something rattles me. I’ve started avoiding fan content like the plague and its real hard considering how many ph artists i’ve followed beforehand. Now that i have context for things spoilers are harder to fly over my head. There’s a lot I’ve had spoiled since forever and am aware of, just not in how its applied in the story. I’m the worst spoiler dodger ever because i convince myself i don’t care until it’s something i care about but that’s on me, and i usually enjoy stuff regardless.

#pandora hearts #pandora hearts reading #thoughts #spoilers #no further spoilers #my list of messed up blondes is getting updated with this one huh

[tearskillstardust]

[ for the "genshin december game" ]

hiiii cherry! i would like to participate in this fun game, please! hopefully the info below is sufficient <3

INFJ. pisces rising, taurus sun, leo moon. i like writing, drawing, cafe hopping, sampling tea and coffee and various kinds of food! my faves in genshin includes zhongli, al haitham, and wriothesley. personality wise, i'm not one to initiate conversation so i can be seen as shy, but i get very talkative and chaotic once i feel comfy with someone! i dislike confrontation, and i'm a big empath by nature. i elaborate myself well in writing, but i'm weak with verbal speaking. i have my goofy moments but i can switch to serious in a blink on an eye. my preferred aesthetic regularly switches between normcore and stealth wealth depending on my mood. lastly, i'd like to participate in event 1, 2, and 3!

please take your time in answering, and i'd like to thank YOU for feeding us with such amazing content!! i hope you'll have a relaxing end of the year!

ps. hydration check! meal check! get your hydration and nutrients! v v important! ✧(•̀ᴗ•́)و

- ✼

1] STELLAR UNION ! ░ you get along the best with ...

ALBEDO !

—albedo would like your company because of your quiet yet vibrant presence. he would love to see your artworks and that would be the first thing about you that would catch his attention. he would genuinely want to be with you because of how serene you are by disposition. he would find you a suitable company for his own quiet nature. he would love how you don't always feel the need to talk and still manage to ascertain your presence. he would share art with you and teach you more about art in detail and want to pursue your own favourite artform too. he would adore your empathetic nature and learn from you about being more sensitive towards other's feelings.

—he wouldn't mind initiating conversation with you. he would like to learn your outlook on things and learn your philosophies. he would adore how you can adjust to situations of crisis and happiness alike. he would want you to understand that there is so much more to life than always being proper and elegant. he would want to spend time with you and be alone with you. if you're ever unable to express yourself in words and get shy, he would hand you a piece of paper and tell you to write it down instead; feeling more than glad to read your small message and respond appropriately to your feelings. he would feel special if you were to show only him your chaotic side, and in return, he would show you his sarcastic and amusing humor. he would enjoy being trusted with your vulnerable side and would make sure to never break it.

KAVEH !

—kaveh has an eye for value, he believes. in his eyes, it does not matter how much someone speaks if their presence is loud enough to catch attention. he would think you are bright and would want to speak to you right after having caught your gaze. he would love your creative yet aloof nature and would want to be close to you. the idea of being trusted by you would make him very happy and he would want to confide in you. as someone immensely loyal and emotional himself, he would strongly believe that you're the best companion he can have.

—he would want to learn from you and teach you. he would like to explore your interests and even though coffee sampling or cafe hopping aren't his interests, he would get into it so that he could share interests with you and speak to you about something other than everyday things. he would enjoy small adventures with you and would want to introduce you to his close friends. he would urge you to be more open and confident. he would stand up for you and fight on your behalf if someone disrespected you, ever. he wouldn't mind your quiet moments, being someone very talkative himself, he would feel taken care of in your presence. he would like to be close with you.

NINGGUANG !

—much like the others here, ningguang has a strong eye for value. she knows it when someone is worthy of admiration, and you would certainly catch her eye. it isn't necessary that you would right away catch her eye, but after a conversation with you, she would certainly think of you once again. she would want to be close with you, and get to know you more in a personal manner. she does not feel the constant need to speak, in fact, she avoids it, so you would be a relaxing presence for her. when she would be tired of having dealt with so many people, she would want to settle down with you over your favourite tea and enjoy the quiet.

—not to say that she wouldn't enjoy listening to your worldview, though, she would share her thoughts with you and admire how you spoke in a calculated manner. your diplomatic and professional nature would be a cherry on the top, career-oriented as she already is. she would like how you can have fun and also know how to be serious. your duality would be interesting in her eyes because she struggles to balance these two things and gets way too serious. she would find you an interesting person because she shares interests with you and would love to recommend her own favorite cafes and coffees to you.

2] ENCLOSED KISS ! ░ please mention the character you'd like to write a letter to you! send in another request without your details but please do use your symbol - ✼

3] ❝DEAR DIARY❞ ! ░ the genshin child who adores you is ...

YAOYAO !

—yaoyao has a zest for life and its components. she can't describe it in words, but she wants to see the world and its various aspects and learn new things, and explore and grow. but the problem is, she wants to do it while holding a firm hand as guidance in this world's abyssal darkness to not wander too far. she would see you as a reliable and trustworthy figure. she would think that in your presence, it is so much easier to learn and be herself. she wouldn't pressurize herself into being poise and would admire your creativity a lot.

—she would want to learn from your peaceful nature and stable mind. she would love being treated with your kindness and your softness would make her feel very safe in your presence. she would think you are an ideal adult figure and would want to learn from your experiences. she would urge you to tell her more stories or talk to her about the randomest of topics. she would find your interest in food sampling yet another reason why she feels so connected to you, and would love to share her own hobbies with you too! she would like to mess around with you and would like how dependable you are. she would want to be guided by you and would love how you never scold her, just gently put her on the right path.

i hope you have an amazing year ahead too! do get your nutrients as well; hopefully, this was good <3

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #event #anon <3

[davy-zeppeli]

So I don't own a diary so I'm writing my thoughts here because it's my blog, fuck you.

The past month has been absolutely hellish. I've changed teams at work, had immense pressure put on me following this due to other managers in my area feeling the need to hound and scrutinise my team's work, and then I broke up with my partner, essentially throwing away any and all financial and home security I had in my future.

I separated with my partner for my own independence and freedom, to put it bluntly. 4 years together showed me we were perfect for eachother - same music taste, sams interests, many great and fun adventures together - but after 4 years, little things built up. Not being able to take the bus without scrutiny. Not being able to buy things I want in the shop due to it 'wasting money'. Stopping drinking because he didn't like it. Not being able to stay over at a friend's house without giving him dates and times I'd be back, as well as who I'm staying with and where. One of our last discussions was him asking me if I still loved him, which I did and do - but he also asked me if I'd been seeing other people. I didn't know it at the time, but it was a level of insecurity and fear expressed by him that was the primary indicator that something wasn't right.

About a week or so later, I suggested I move out and we try being friends.

This was not easy. Jesus Christ, it was hard. He took it well, and I can say now after a few more weeks we've both made peace with it. We're still best friends. He always will be! But it feels good now knowing that we're classifying our relationship as what it always was - best friends who live together. I've been told on numerous occasions that we really did just seem like roommates who happen to be together, and it only took until now to see it. But, despite it all, I feel a lot happier following my decision.

I have a flat pretty much secured for May - he has a new flat mate lined up for after I leave. I have my freedom, and now it's a case of getting used to it.

Then comes my other crisis: Daniel.

So, I really hope he doesn't ever see this. He won't.

I've worked with Dan for over a year now - occasionally saying hello in the office after bonding at a work's party. Separate teams, never had much reason to interact past that. Until I moved teams - onto his team.

When I say this man has been a crucial anchor for me, I mean in wholeheartedly and with such sincerity that I can't put it into words in a way that would do it justice. He was the one who made me realise, yeah, my situation isn't great at the moment, is it? Yeah, I enjoy going out, don't I? Yeah, the anti-depressants aren't nuking my libido, are they? It's something else. He's one of the most chill, sarcastic, and real people I've met in a long time - and he's got his own trauma to show for it. We've made the joke we're similar - both in therapy, both play instruments, both love music, etc. But as such, we both know how to read eachother too well. And boy, he read me like a book.

After going to his open mic (with his family, might I add. I thought more people would be going, but no - it was me and his family) and one gig with him, I'd realised I like him. A lot. A painful amount, actually. Yes, getting over my failed relationship was definitely contributing to it, but I can say now as well, with the beauty of hindsight, I do still like him. If he asked, I would. If he does ask, I will. He's very important to me. I like him very much.

It then became evident he liked me back.

I won't sugar coat it - we've slept together. At this point in time, about 6 or 7 times. That's more than I did with my partner in 4 years. I should feel like dirt for my quick 'turnaround' but I just can't bring myself to care about it. I thought I was broken, man, and that the anti-depressants had fucked me. Evidently not. He's told me after several heart-to-hearts that he cares about me a lot and trusts me. And I've echoed the same sentiment to him in return. I've stayed at his flat, we commute to work, I've met his family for christ's sake. You'd expect this to lead to us being together.

It has not lead to us being together.

To put it bluntly - he's not looking for a relationship right now. He has his own baggage he's trying to handle from a freshly broken relationship and moving house, so I am understanding. Does it make it hurt any less? Nope. When he told me this, aware I felt different, he put a boundary in place to protect me. No intimacy, just friends. I knew it was for the best, I trusted him and respected his needs. We moved on.

Now, the week following that decision? Torture. I wanted to be near him all the time, but had to make sure I respected him and his limits. It was for the best, in the end, because he was right - I was infatuated with him given my circumstances. So I can say now I'm not as head over heels for him as I was. He said it best himself: "I treat you with a little bit of respect and decency and you think I'm Jesus. You're just not used to having more than one of your needs met at once". Does that mean I don't like him any more in that way?

Absolutely not - but I know that it's something he doesn't want, so I'll put it on the back burner indefinitely. I love him too much as a friend to risk losing him over something like this.

Then comes last night.

The boundary was in place. We went out following a particularly stressful work day. We drank, we listened to live music, we had fun! Near the end of the night, he asked me how I felt towards him. Unprompted, almost. So I answered honestly:

I like him. Can't deny I like him. But I'm able to see that it's not what he wants, and I'm fine with that. I respect his boundaries. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted to him. His reaponse?

He nods. He asks me how I'm getting home. I say I haven't planned it. He asks if I want to go back to his. I agree. Once most people have left the bar and we're two of the few people left, he kisses me. Good fucking god it was like being hit with a bat. I'd missed it. I missed him. Needless to say, we went home, played some Guitar Hero, and then slept together. Our situation is friends with benefits and I'm happy with that.

Now, why am I typing all of this out? Like I said, I have no diary. I haven't been able to articulate these thoughts for a month in a way that would cause significantly reduced collateral damage. My therapy has been cancelled the past two times. I needed somewhere to speak.

If for some reason someone has read all of this - thanks? Feel free to ask questions. I don't mind. It might help me figure stuff out.

Until the next time, adios.

#me #ramblings #long post #read more

[rebeccathenaturalist]

My apologies for the radio silence, folks! The past couple of weekends have been super busy--but with a lot of great stuff!

Weekend before last was Wings Over Willapa, the birding and nature festival that happens on and around Willapa NWR in the very southwest corner of Washington. It's one of my favorite events throughout the year, and I have been involved from the very beginning back in 2018. This year I actually got to be a tourist in addition to a tour guide, getting to explore the old growth cedar forest at Ellsworth Canyon with a Nature Conservancy employee. it was incredible getting extra perspective on this special place. I also got to guide tours through even more old growth cedar at Long Island on Saturday, someplace that I never, ever, ever get tired of. I love how the thousand-plus year old cedars have crowns on the top, since the storm winds often shear off the trees' leaders, so another must then sprout. It gives them more personality.

Right after that I hustled on over to Loomis Lake State Park to lead my beach tour. We explored the dunes, and I showed the participants how to tell the difference between the native Leymus mollis dune grass, and the invasive Ammophila grasses that have taken over that habitat. We found some neat things while beachcombing, like marine snail egg casings, and had some great wildlife sightings, like lines of brown pelicans coasting over the waves, and a lone Hudsonian whimbrel picking its way along the beach in search of food.

That evening we were treated to the keynote speech by author and conservationist Paul Bannick, who spoke on how woodpeckers and owls are very often keystone species in their habitats. I had just enough time that night to get some sleep before peeling myself out of bed for an 8am tour that I led around the Art Trail and Cutthroat Climb at the old Refuge headquarters. I am in love with that place, and I am overjoyed the trails are open to the public after extensive improvements were made earlier this year.

This past weekend was just as much fun! I have been very excited to see the development of Snow Peak's new campfield in Long Beach. For those who aren't aware, Snow Peak is a quality outdoor supply company based in Japan, analogous to REI or Patagonia. Each of their flagship stores has a campfield within a couple of hours which has camping and events. The Long Beach location is associated with the Snow Peak store in Portland, and is just about ready for a soft opening!

I have been hoping to get in touch with folks there since I really, really want to see more ecotourism out in the Long Beach and Willapa Bay area. We're so lucky to have so much beautiful nature out here, and I want to see more people getting to enjoy it. I was thrilled when a representative contacted me some weeks back inviting me to teach a couple of mushroom foraging classes during this year's Snow Peak Way, an annual camping event that draws hundreds of people and which was held this year over on the east side of the Cascades in Tygh Valley.

To say that I had a great time would be an immense understatement. I have been to a lot of festivals, conventions, and other events over the years, and this had all the things that I love about these events, without the things I find obnoxious. I made a lot of friends and connections, was fed VERY good food, and if my experience with borrowed gear is any indication, Snow Peak is well worth the hype. I am very much hoping to get to partner more with these folks once the campfield is open and running.

There's no time for downtime right now, though. I'm back in Portland later this week for several classes, and I have less than three weeks before I'm on the road to Missouri again for my fall visit. In between now and then I have several writing projects due, including the first deliverables for The Everyday Naturalist, plus various other tasks around the home and farm. Things will slow down once we get closer to the holidays, but for now it's all go, all the time!

#camping #forests #Wings Over Willapa #Willapa National Wildlife Refuge #Washington #Oregon #Snow Peak #Snow Peak Way #old growth forest

[stackthedeck]

Can I ask what you thought of the flashbacks in the new Good Omens season? They felt narratively unnecessary to me and I don't fully understand why they were included- the latter two, anyway, I did very much like the Job flashback. But the Blitz and grave robbing flashbacks felt to me like they didn't do anything that wasn't already established somewhere else in the show. But I do recognize that I'm not particularly skilled at media analysis and could easily be missing something, and you're SO good at analysis, so I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Can I tell y'all a secret? I did not want a season two of good omens and maybe it's because I'm a massive fan of the book, but I just felt like the story was complete and anything more would feel like fluff and filler. And season two did feel like fluff and filler, but that's not necessarily a bad thing because I enjoyed myself immensely and it did explore aspects of Aziraphale and Crowley I was curious about, but like it wasn't as good as season one

oh god, this got very long so I'm putting it under the cut. TL;DR, the flashbacks were fun, but not as interesting as the season one flashbacks and they felt a little redundant in establishing information that we already knew from season one.

And the flashbacks (to actually answer the question lol) were definitely the most fluffy and filler-y. Season one had that excellent cold open of Aziraphale and Crowley throughout history and that wasn't in the book so it's definitely possible to add really interesting things to the source material. And I agree with you anon, I really didn't love the addition to the blitz and the grave robbing, but I did like the other two so let's unpack why this might be

So first we have the before the beginning flashback. This is the flashback that's doing the most narratively. It is Chekov's gun for the ending. We are shown that Aziraphale remembers who Crowley was before the fall, how happy he was doing heaven's work, and as an extra bonus for fan service, we also get the confirmed headcanon that Crowley helped make the stars. This flashback sets up exactly why Aziraphale still believes in heaven and why he still thinks Crowley could be happy in heaven. But it also sets up how Crowley sauntered vaguely downwards, showing us exactly what was wrong with heaven to Crowley. To Aziraphale this time shows the miracle of creation but for Crowley, it's the oppression of obedience. To Aziraphale heaven is what you get to do, for Crowley heaven is what you can't be. (I also wrote a fanfic that's the reverse of this flashback, Crowley remembers Aziraphale from heaven, but Aziraphale doesn't remember him but I wrote it in 2019 so idk if it's still good)

I adore the Job flashback, but that might be because Job is my favorite story in the Tanakh, mostly for the wide variety of interpretations of the story. What I found really interesting about this season was that it was deeply uninterested in what God thought of anything, even more so than the previous season. Crowley takes the cynical approach that all the misery Job is cursed with is simply God trying to win a bet and we don't really get any confirmation if that's true one way or the other. Job's relationship with God is the background to Aziraphale finally experiencing doubt. What felt weird about this was that Job's kids were the catalyst to him doubting which I don't know, Aziraphale and Crowley never seemed to care about humans specifically, rather what they create. Like in the book and season one, I always thought Crowley and Aziraphale were saving Earth—meaning everything on it like books and wine and cars—but like specifically humanity. This flashback made me feel for the first time that Crowley and Aziraphale comprehend life enough to grieve it. Maybe for others, they always felt that way, but I really liked the idea of an Angel that is in love with the earth not because of the inherent beauty of humanity, but because of materialistic worldly things. But the role this flashback plays for the larger narrative is that it establishes the first time Aziraphale goes against the plan—or at least bends the rules—and gives into the "temptations" of Earth. This is when the angel becomes the person we're familiar with. And it also leads us to end because it establishes that Aziraphale does not want to be just a soldier, he wants to make decisions, to lead, to make things better. This looks like doubt to Crowley and to us the audience, a signal that the two of them are on their own sides. But it also doubles as Aziraphale having a very strong sense of justice that he wants to implement.

And then we have the continuation of the Blitz flashback. I'm of the opinion that less is more in storytelling so the fact this massive moment in Crowley and Aziraphale's lives was so short and concise gave it so much weight. The extended flashback was used to give more context to Aziraphale's fixation on magic and also to show that Crowley and Aziraphale can trust each other without the power of heaven and hell behind them. But I liked that the magician thing makes no sense and it's just a random detail, we don't need it explained. And like wasn't the agreement(tm), raising the (fake) anti-christ, and stopping the end of the world proof that Aziraphale and Crowley trust each other enough to lose their connection to heaven and hell? This flashback told me that they're really close and trust each other with their lives and like...I knew that already. Also, I didn't like that the nazis came back as zombies and then weren't tortured for all eternity. And like I guess there are zombies running around and it's just never come up or caused problems?? (I need to watch that episode again, maybe I missed how they handled that). The whole magic show was a fun and cute moment and I did enjoy it, but idk maybe they could have done it in a different time period like the 1920s?

And then there's the Victorian street urchin whose digging up bodies to sell. And again this was fun, I enjoyed it, but it felt like filler. So what Aziraphale learns from this adventure is that it's hard for poor people to be good because they're trying to survive and the web of morality is complicated because sometimes bad things have to happen in order for good things to happen. Which is the thesis of The Good Place, but nonetheless, it's interesting and more than one tv show can explore it. But this idea is really complicated and frankly they could have written the entire season around it, in my opinion, this revelation to Aziraphale felt and little rushed and a little clumsy. Like you're telling me in Aziraphale's thousands of years on Earth and hundreds of years of having the agreement with Crowley, he's just now realizing that actions have consequences. Like grave robbing is bad, but medical knowledge is good so therefore grave robbing also has to be good. But like Aziraphale, you watched the crucifixion, you know that bad things lead to good things, this is like a mandate from heaven. I think this flashback could have been more interesting if Aziraphale tried to make the urchin spend her money on more holy things or something and then like Aziraphale's hypocrisy around "temptation" could have been examined. I'm not saying this is what the show should have done, but it would have been funny if Crowley and Aziraphale tried to turn people into murderers so they could kill them for the urchin could sell the bodies guilt-free. But the meaningful part of this flashback was Crowley saving the girl from killing herself and then being punished by Hell. This explains why he wanted the holy water and gives it an extra layer of angst, but I'm not sure how much this changes about season 2. Crowley was already running from Hell after season 1's events what does Crowley being punished add to this? There is certainly something there but I think I need to rewatch the show to piece it together. (also this is 100% nitpicking and I think that's bad faith criticism, but Crowley gets swallowed up by the earth immediately after doing a good thing, but he keeps the holy water in a safe in his apartment, so like if the holy water was to stop that punishment from happening again, shouldn't Crowley keep the water on him?)

#asks #good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens 2

[storytime-reviews]

Romantic Comedy Book Review

With a series of heartbreaks under her belt, Sally Milz - successful script writer for a legendary late-night TV comedy show - has long abandoned the search for love.

But when her friend and fellow writer begins to date a glamorous actress, he joins the growing club of interesting but average-looking men who get romantically involved with accomplished, beautiful women. Sally channels her annoyance into a sketch, poking fun at this 'social rule'. The reverse never happens for a woman.

Then Sally meets Noah, a pop idol with a reputation for dating models. But this isn't a romantic comedy - it's real life. Would someone like him ever date someone like her?

Rating: ★★★ 1/2

So my main problem is that there were some aspects of this book that I loved and some that I really didn't like, although I will admit that the narrative gets better along the way. Most of my issues with Romantic Comedy occurred in the first third or so, so it's surprising that I actually continued with it. I guess you could say that I saw some promise in it, and I am glad that I kept going.

Something that stood out to me with the first third or so of the book, much of which occurs at the studio in which Sally works as a comedy writer (clearly inspired by Saturday Night Live) is that for a book about a comedy writer, Romantic Comedy is just not funny. That's not to say it has to be, the problem is that this book is definitely trying to be, and it just isn't. Especially when it focuses so heavily on the comedy sketches at the beginning. I also didn't like how Noah spoke in that first pitch meeting, it sounded so fake, like when you can tell a character is written because it just doesn't feel realistic.

Sally is incredibly preoccupied with the appearance of other women to the point it's incredibly noticeable and felt uncomfortable for me to read. In using her point of view here I understand it's meant to get the point across that she's different, and really emphasise she's not someone that a musical star would typically fall for, but it felt like too much. Something else that just didn't work for me in this book is how some of the 'issues' mentioned feel very performative, especially with the two white main characters discussing racism and BLM protests.

However, once Romantic Comedy switched to the emails format, I found myself enjoying this book immensely. It was fun to be a little bit different, and a great way to showcase the perspectives of both Sally and Noah and get them interacting a little more directly. I loved this approach because it allowed them to develop their banter and chemistry and kept it interesting as they dealt with constant miscommunication, defensiveness and jealousy issues.

Their interactions feel realistic, especially the ways in which they respond negatively and then have to work on their communication to address their feelings. Of course they make plenty of mistakes and assumptions about each other, but I loved watching it play out as they struggled to stop letting their own issues impact on the other person. There is plenty of chemistry between them, especially in those emails. In fact, I think Sittenfeld did her best writing with these emails than in any of the other scenes.

Sally in particular gets combative and aggressive when things get real and become emotional, and I love it so much because it makes her real to me. Because this is exactly what I do. So as much as some aspects of her characterisation drive me nuts, there are other parts like this that make me so glad I read this book until the end. The characterisations of both Sally and Noah are deepened throughout the narrative and pulled apart and put back together. What I also enjoy about their relationship is that they call each other out on their shit.

Warnings: sexism & misogyny, references to racism, references to drug use and addiction, references to eating disorders and suicide, sex scenes

#booklr #romantic comedy #curtis sittenfeld #tbrbusterchallenge2023 #bookbanditchallenge #reading #books #book review

[holygroundgone]

Starting my Case Files Compendium liveblog here, starting with chapters 1-6

I'm definitely enjoying myself already, I love how immediately He Yu is revealed to be a completely sociopathic manipulative little nepo brat- it's reminiscent of the way meatbun introduced mo ran immediately establishing him as a contemptible and cruel idiot (which he isn't) so it has me wondering how meatbun will develop him from here.

I like how both male leads are absolutely immediately immensely less objectively likeable than mo ran and chu wanning (I'll be comparing bab to 2ha repeatedly btw), between being homophobe4homophobe, He Yu's demented and careless prank to Xie Qingcheng's genuinely frightening and violent raging at Xie Xue and his (horrible) date... I Love Them.

(YUWU CRIT AHEAD) I definitely like them a lot more off the bat than I did Mo Xi and Gu Mang, though I did end up really warming to Gu Mang when he WASN'T lobotomized. Mo Xi is kind of just nothing to me unfortunately, even less character and intrigue than Lan Wangji (who despite people's complaints I find very enjoyable- his silent daddyisms once he's grown up and found his man again, the way he's kind and generous and chilled out from the complete narc he used to be, the way he's overwhelmed and distressed by his own violent lust, the way he acts when he's drunk, he's a fun character) and nothing in the story really changed that for me. I understood why he was so upset with Gu Mang but the way Mo Xi treated Gu Mang when he couldn't remember anything was not charming. He lightly fits into the meatbun mold of younger gong that needs to be taken care of by his older shou but he has none of the charisma or cuteness or charming naughtiness of Mo Ran and He Yu. He provides no textural quality to the constant misery and stifling sweet potato pain of yuwu, and the most unforgivable sin? He's just not mentally ill enough. Neither is Gu Mang- they just don't have the compelling push and pull of complicated mental states that mr&cwn have nor what hy&xqc are very much evidently showing to have. The most mentally ill character I can think of in yuwu is murong lian but i find him completely contemptible for where he allowed gu mang to stay after he got wolf spirit lobotomized. Honestly the way gu mang, my favorite character among the cast gets treated is one of the biggest reasons yuwu falls flat for me. I don't want him to suffer i want him to be a fun and happy daddy and maybe he gets that by the end but wow did he get treated horribly by the two people he ends up happily living around. (YUWU CRIT END)

Back to bab, He Yu and Xie Qingcheng are both saying and doing a lot of things that make me feel like I'll get to laugh at them in the end, in particular Xie Qingcheng's inner monologue about not believing in or understanding love, that it's a disease. You're going to catch that disease eventually my brother. You're in a danmei. You're a homophobe? My dear friend, you are in a danmei. If the sirens aren't blazing for you they soon will be.

One of my biggest points of enjoyment so far with all the danmei I've read so far (mxtx, yuwu, 2ha) is the way that they're love puzzles. How will these two characters end up together with everything resolved? In what ways will they find what they need and love in each other? In bab meatbun presents quite a twisted puzzle so far it almost feels like a challenge: how are this demonic homophobic nepo baby who hates doctors and this cold paternalistic homophobic doctor going to end up together?

Well, I can already see the roots of He Yu's derangement towards xqc beginning especially most prominently in the insane words of "he basically belongs to you, so if you don't help him be successful he might take you as his wife) his mom said to him which I have to imagine warped his mind with simultaneous feelings of ownership and terror towards him- as well as the derangedly florid descriptions of xqc's cold and devastating beauty.

Anyways, Xie Qingcheng is absolutely a daddy, a fussy and mean daddy. Compared to his contemporary meatbun shou (and i do feel that gong and shou distinctions are more meaningful to the actual characters and their temperaments in meatbun's works) Chu Wanning who is a fussy and only really incidentally mean failmommy, Xie Qingcheng is by far more of a daddy (repeatedly being referred to as paternalistic)- he also seems more socially competent and outspoken about his morals but similarly just as incompetent in understanding his own feelings. He's a cute fussy princess of a daddy.

Whereas Chu Wanning's mommyisms have a counterpart in Mo Ran's (esp Mo-Zongshi) daddyisms, I can't help but suspect He Yu is just going to be Xie Qingcheng's bratty baby boy and I'm excitedly rubbing my hands together for that dynamic. I already like the intimacy of "he's seen me at my worst and already knows i suck so i'll lose my manipulative outer front in front of him and end up showing him my more authentic self". I kind of want to see He Yu calling him daddy while rearranging his guts

I don't think at this point that Xqc harbors the same feelings towards He Yu that Chu Wanning did towards Mo Ran, but I also suspect his thoughts about him are more benign than He Yu thinks. I really love the "don't bother me i'm homophobic" "OH YEAH? IF YOU'RE HOMOPHOBIC THAN I'M WAYYY MORE HOMOPHOBIC THAN YOU THAT IT BASICALLY MAKES YOU LOOK GAY" nevermind the paragraphs he yu spends thinking about xie qingcheng's urethral cold beauty and the paleness of his skin and the way his brows are so dark and his lips thin and perfect and like red blossoms frosted over-

I'm also betting against the house that Xie Xue is genuinely just a kind dummy and not a demented mastermind like the last two effeminate false romantic leads.

I'm writing this while eating fried rice because the description of Xie Qingcheng's cooking made me drool. An entire page of fried rice decadence. I like that between him and He Yu, he's the one who can cook well- He Yu, Mo Ran is going to laugh at you for having nothing to charm your ethereal and bitchy old man with

#case files compendium #truescholar.txt #liveblog #i need to find the mini theaters because the book doesn't include them. this being the case both with this and 2ha disappoints me #once i get hooked and run out of book i'll probably resort to machine translating the spanish translation which i've heard is quite good #bab liveblog

[thebadascetic]

Small Steps Towards Big Goals

This week has been a mixed bag. I've been able to mostly keep to my dairy fast. Getting to finally have cheese again was such a rewarding experience. My fiance made me gnocchi, a perfect Lent meal that I had never had before and I enjoyed it immensely. I'll have to learn to make it myself for him one day. I also bought dairy free butter to allow me to at least have toast, one of my staples for this past week. But let's move on from food.

I finally finished my skirt on Tuesday. I had begun making it several months ago and had finished most of it by Christmas Day so I was able to wear it then but it took me until Tuesday to finish off the last section. It still needs a good iron and it's not the most skillful work ever done but it's only my second ever sewing project so I'm going to go easy on myself.

Wednesday was by far one of my most fun days. My friend and her brother took me to a carpark so I could learn to drive for the first time! I was there for about two hours, mainly going around this carpark over and over again but was eventually able to drive up the road and go around the roundabout. I feel very proud of myself for taking that first step but am still somewhat apprehensive for my next time driving. Towards the end of my two hours, one of the tyres hit something and had to be changed over. We were fine, it didn't affect the drive at all. Just created a bump in the tyre is all.

On Thursday, our Catholic young adult group started back up. I may have mentioned before but this year, I want to try and be more sociable at this group and become better friends with everyone. I was able to have a good conversation with a couple of people that I think I'll have the best chance of developing a friendship outside of the group with.

Towards the end of this week is where things became a little more sour. Five Uber Eats transactions that I didn't make showed up in my bank account, all from Thursday during a one hour window in the afternoon. I didn't see them until I began work on Friday. They added up to $82. I reported the transactions to my bank and then filled out a form on the Uber Eats website the next day. Fortunately, they are planning to refund the charges. Two of the charges have since disappeared and the other three are still pending so I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Sunday came with a beautiful Divine Liturgy, as it should. The priest that came down to say the Liturgy is the one organising my Catechism. He brought with him a book for me: Christian Initiation of Children. It's a book all about baptising children. Obviously I'm not a child, but it still has a lot of good information on why we baptise, what will happen during my baptism, the role of sponsors, and how to prepare for my baptism. And the parts that pertain purely to infant and child baptism, as our priest said, will be useful to my fiance and I in the married life. It's a beautiful book, filled with prayers for conception, pregnancy, before and after childbirth, and for new mothers and fathers. I'd like to add some of those prayers to my intercessory prayers for my friend who herself is pregnant. The book is also presented in both English and Ukrainian, which will be useful for language learning. I've already picked up on the word for baptism (Хрещення). I've been told to read it with my fiance and we've already started it. I'm eager to continue. I've started reading the youth catechism I was given some months ago. I know a bit more than I knew then so it's starting to make more sense to me.

Today has been quite a calming day. I went to a psychology appointment that has left me feeling more comfortable with the direction my life is heading and what I'm focusing on. I also got to see the therapy dog again and was able to get some pictures of her. She's a lovely, albeit sleepy, lady. I've finally brought the bins to the curb. Someone was taking them up each week when we moved in but recently they stopped and our apartment building has gone a few weeks with no bins being emptied so I've taken them up tonight.

Lastly, I ordered some books for my fiance's birthday last month but they still haven't arrived. I had contacted the monastery that printed them last week and have been in contact with one of the nuns. She's all but prepared to print the books again for us, free of charge, but asked to wait two more weeks to make it a full month due to frequent delays in the Australian Post Office. My fiance agreed and wouldn't you know it: tonight, I found a warning in my mail box telling me that I'll need to pick up my package or they'll be returned to sender. All this for a package that I've gotten no update or notice about at all 🙃. Hopefully, it'll be my fiance's books.

Glory to Jesus Christ!

#catholic #catholic women #christian faith #christian living #christian women #christianity #eastern orthodoxy #jesus #jesus christ #orthodoxy #eastern catholic #catholicism

[ganymedesclock]

greetings! do you have any advice for crafting new characters with life and personality?

First and foremost:

there's no silver bullet for any artistic process. This is because art is highly subjective and the majority of standards for what makes something Good are going to be immensely personal to you.

in explaining my own process I am going back and secondhand attaching theory to stuff that I do mostly by instinct- this is not a statement of arrogance, it's a statement of "I'm self-taught and focus on enjoying myself most of the time I write, and I progressively built refinement and theory on top of that"

Those things in mind!

My character creation process tends to look like this, when I'm making a character to fit into an extant story. (if I'm not, I tend to basically just spitball concepts until one hits me)

Once I reach a part where I need a new character- I will use an example of a character I just wrote for a personal project, Duke Indrick of Lamentation- things go something like this:

In my outline, I had the introduction of a very specific character who's going to be important. This character would show up, and have a contentious, charged exchange with a local nobleman. That gave me a framework to work in- I already have a bunch of topics that are relevant to this. This exchange is about elitism, and 'merit', and in a broader sense this whole story is about Heroes and Villains and what leads someone to be deservedly-or-not categorized as one or the other.

The main character, Argent, is someone artificially trying to hold the high ground when he's actually heavily at a disadvantage. A big part of this is that during the entire conversation, he's talking to a guy on a horse, but he obviously came here on foot, and is continuing on foot- he doesn't even own a horse, because he can't afford the upkeep of one himself. I decided to make that worse by having the Duke be part of a hunting party, so there's a whole posse of characters, all on horses; Argent is surrounded and outnumbered by horsemen, even if this is not a fight or he's under attack, it makes the dynamic more distinct.

If anything, he can't argue that they're unfair or that these horses shouldn't be there if he's the one who barged in, and these guys are busy with other stuff- they're a hunting party, of course they have horses! It's not fair for him to suggest he feels outgunned (and Argent is a defensive pill, so it's informative to his character to put him in a situation that sets his hackles up but he got himself in here so he's gotta personally get himself out)

I'm also drawing heavily off of JRPGs such as Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, and thinking about what qualities I tend to like and dislike in those games. One of the things I tend to dislike is when it's super obvious who's an important character and who's not, and especially how in these kind of games, there's usually a bunch of nobles around and you can often tell if the nobles are trustworthy or not at a glance- if they're pretty and charismatic, they're Good Kings, and if they're ugly or mean to you personally right away, you know not to trust them.

So I thought, well, okay, I'm gonna confuse those tropes.

This is something I like to do a lot! There's nothing new under the sun but you can rapidly synthesize really fun organic-feeling characters by grabbing well-traveled concepts and fiddling with them.

In the case of the Duke, a big thing I wanted to attach to him, load-bearing with the story's themes, is that he's charismatic. Physically, he's good-looking, he's got cool fantasy stuff attached to him that makes him more exciting and interesting (he rides a unicorn!) and he's a smooth talker with a temper that doesn't break easily.

But he's also not a Good King- he's calculating, corrupt, and deeply entrenched. He's more contemptuous of others than he lets on, because he knows it's not useful to present that way and he doesn't have the stereotypical raw nerves of a standard Evil Usurper. In this sense, giving him Good King traits make him actually pretty scary- this is nobody the protagonists are in a position to tackle at the time they meet him. They have to work around him, and he's smart and on the ball and has a lot of supporters, both "good" and "evil".

At this point, these traits help me inform a third character- a subordinate who is outraged at Argent on the Duke's behalf- and I can pull into them further by just reasoning about what I've already set up about this setting and its environment.

The great thing about character, narrative, and setting design, is they're cumulative. Threads of worldbuilding and setting detail and other characters can all come together and get reinforced by making a new character. I can figure a lot of who Indrick has to be just by knowing what situation he's in, in a big sense. I made him a Duke arbitrarily, and then looked it up, and traditionally dukes and duchesses are only relatives of the royal family- which works for a lot of his personality, making him the queen's uncle. That even ties in nicely to the whole, "good king / evil usurper" thread, since Evil Aristocratic Uncles are a dime a dozen in fiction.

From this alone, I have a good profile of Indrick to draw from. He's an older man who's held power for a long time. He clearly has an eye for the finer things in life, which lends to his casual corruption, and threads nicely with that the city he rules over is a major trade export close to the capital, that has a lot of good farmland and- in particular, precious vineyards and distilleries that make a unique, magical wine that's a luxury many people are demanding.

Because Lamentation is also an old city characterized by a lot of grief and melancholy (the wine itself is so celebrated because it effectively tastes like "nostalgia"- people are literally and figuratively drinking to remember the good times that they idealize in their memories), and the Duke is an old hand at the reins and has this very noble, charismatic reputation that he does work to maintain, him being smart, calculating, and even-tempered makes sense; this is a guy whose reign made it intact through an extremely tumultuous and dangerous time.

Which itself threads nicely back into, of course people idolize him! He's playing the role of Good King for power and profit, but to a desperate populace who were faced with total catastrophe, he weathered them through the storm. Making him good-looking (and making a point that's not reflective of morality) threads in further, that he's right there ready to be framed for a painting of his heroic valor. And I can even introduce him in the process of living up to the legend while he's also protecting his assets- riding out to personally hunt down an out-of-place monster that's threatening his people's livelihood and making plans to commemorate the hunt with a public feast.

Sure, I didn't need to go this far by any means. Just introducing some noble guy for Argent to play off of would've sufficed easily- but by building Indrick up the way he was, I now have a great character to use for future events, raise the stakes on my protagonists (who are eavesdropping on this and need to go through Indrick's city and not get caught), and can condense a lot of information about Lamentation and how it's doing by having this moment of the hand at the wheel. It also lets me characterize the Queen a bit, because both Indrick and Argent have a connection to her.

Like I said, a lot of my mentality is that character and setting-building is cumulative; I tend to like to sock a lot into it before I necessarily need it, coming up with more details than fit into the story directly, because I think this helps a lot. It can even help if you've got just one standalone character you're building and you don't have much of a setting or story to put them in yet- just take the details you put down because they already tickled you, and then look at them and ask, "what kind of setting does this person fit into?"

A character who feels like everybody's out to get them probably has something going on that makes them feel justified- they may not have many close friends, or there may be larger forces that are batting them around, and it may not be actually about them, but they'll sure feel like it is. Meeting one person gives you some sense of what their usual stomping grounds are like- and that'll, in turn, inform other people, and then both the setting and those other people inform your character.

The biggest thing that makes characters feel lively and full of personality to me, is this kind of building off organic bonds. I try to avoid playing to traditional traits, because if I give my audience a bog standard evil uncle who's just an evil uncle doing commonly acceptable evil uncle things, they will not really admire my hard work; it's very easy to turn off your critical think and flow right through. Which can be desirable and useful sometimes! One of my favorite things to do is set things up just stereotypical enough that I can lull my audience into a sense of security and then surprise them. Half of why deconstructions and reconstructions of concepts are so fun is that it requires speaking to people in a language they already understand, and then stopping them at the right points and going "but why is this, what does it mean? Why did we believe it in the first place, and why might we choose not to believe it anymore?"

#writing ruminations #readmore #I think the best character concepts are dynamic #like a piece of cloth or a glittery prism #putting them in new lighting and playing them off new people makes them much stronger #it's good to give multiple dimensions to characters you don't think will need them

[numetalpuppygirl]

WILT 1/8/2024

spotify//youtube

Limp Bizkit - Leech: trying to get some of my friends into lb and this is the song that sold it for at least one of them

Nirvana - Been A Son: may well be my favorite nirvana track. every single lyric is like. owwww

Daniel Johnston - Walking the Cow: i have been on my bullshit about this whole album for like a full month. trying to learn this one on the piano

Daniel Johnston - Keep Punching Joe: i like the slightly more upbeat, almost kind of bluesy feel he put into this one. it feels very character-driven and humorous while still being a... unique exploration of victimhood

Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous: this seems like it would be soooo fun to sing live. i just love all of ben's little enunciations and syllables here, his unique voice is so dear to me bc of how long i've been listening to bb. also god forbid poly bitches do anything

Suicidal Tendencies - Suicidal Failure: have also been on my bullshit with this album. i don't really want to talk about this track though, i don't feel like getting too personal

Nirvana - Rape Me: this one also feels weird to talk about publicly. but i've been listening to a lot of in utero tracks, not necessarily the album front to back but just my favs and this is definitely up there. an infamously raw and real record at perhaps its rawest and realest

Gene Wilder - Pure Imagination: i saw the new wonka movie in theaters and was surprised to find i actually enjoyed it a good bit. that nice warm feeling led me to listen to some of the soundtrack of the original and remind myself of how much i love it. i could have easily put the scary boat song on here too

Suicidal Tendencies - Subliminal: i don't really care that much about the actual message of the song pertaining to subliminal messaging in media, i think there are other takes on that subject that have done it a lot better than mike's clumsy rambling. but i do identify immensely with just the feeling of sickening paranoia that the song captures. maybe it's not coming through the television but SOMEBODY is fucking with me. subliminally...

Daniel Johnston - I Am a Baby (In My Universe): okay i won't lie this one is kind of funny. like openly funny and ridiculous rather than the more layered playfulness of the rest of the album. oOoOoOoh i'm only 22........ i'll live forever ^_^ idk. it's still real as fuck though, i feel like a dipshit baby all the time

Kurt Cobain - Rehash: when you listen to home tapes like this, i feel like it really gives such greater dimensions to who kurt cobain was as an artist. in a way, it feels not dissimilar to something like the scrappy brilliant work of an indie pioneer like daniel johnston, which makes sense considering kurt was a fan of the guy's work. at the same time, this particular track is kind of silly and has him doing that voice that i hardly even recognize as his. i've been wanting to watch montage of heck, and this one is here as a marker of my love for the sounds of these home recordings more generally

Korn - Faget: there's a lot of discussion to be had around when it's okay for artists to use this word, but in general i tend to find that alternative artists who use it in a way that identifies with it is something i can't really be mad at. korn, and more specifically jonathan davis, is a freak show of alternative music that appealed to other freak shows. the fact that jd chose to identify himself with the word "faggot" in this song due to his experiences as an outcast and victim of bullying is at worst misguided, and i bet it made a lot of other outcasts and victims in 1994 feel seen, feel less alone. i think that's worthwhile. however it is also funny that a few years later korn would release "all in the family" which is like if someone decided to drag out the meager concept of a homophobic slur into a full album track

The Romantics - What I Like About You: was rewatching pat finnerty videos and got this stuck in my head from the bit where he talks about this song in the dani california video. not much to say except it's a tune! also goes in the file of songs that seem very fun to sing live

Metallica - Wherever I May Roam: oh yeah now we get into the rock adn roll babey 🎸🎵 i mentioned in an audio ask that i've been really indulging in the dumb rock music and 90s metallica is like the prototype for all meathead rock that followed. it's solid though, there's a reason why it got so popular. this is a good track, i really like the prechorus

Puddle Of Mudd - Blurry: possibly the dirtbaggiest of all the dirtbag rock. that's not true actually there's still shit like theory of a deadman and fuckin buckcherry and whatever, stuff that even i don't touch. but idk puddle of mudd just hits now and then with the scratchy yucky vocals and stupidass riffs and this is hands-down one of the best songs off the album. it's at least kind of about something. and ngl everything is pretty blurry nowadays

Tom Petty - Love Is A Long Road: shoutout tom. was listening to full moon fever again and realized how much of a tune this was. big chorus with the good good blend of new wave and americana rock that he always brought

Muscadine Bloodline - Me On You: with country being as big as it is right now and me trying to connect with that sort of honest and grounded feeling that rock and roll gives people, it seemed natural that i would make another attempt to properly get into country. i came across this one on a country rock playlist i was exploring and took to it because of the nice growl in the singer's voice and the rapidfire delivery of lines with some tasty internal rhymes. nothing special but it rips. i am a little wary of the "bloodline" part of these guys' band name but i looked them up and couldn't find anything that immediately sent me running? idk i hope they aren't shitheads

The Offspring - D.U.I.: the drunk driving fandom is dying, can't imagine why. discovered on the soundtrack for "i know what you did last summer" which i picked up on cd at a thrift store

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite: okay these guys actually do suck major shit. and so does this song actually. but it's on here bc i've heard it a million jillion times and have been listening to it a lot again, after watching the pat finnerty video about this. man i feel like i'm cheating on todd this month or something wtf. anyway i discovered not long ago that i've been mishearing the lyrics to this song my entire life in a pretty major way. honestly it's overdue for its own installment in my little series where i explain my misheard lyrics and the much better implications i derived from them. basically i always heard the chorus as "i'll keep you by my side, you're my superhero man/my aching kryptonite" which is WAY more words than are actually in the chorus. the singer just chews on the syllables so much that i always heard them as separate words. but i always thought it was a song about a kind of shitty guy who was trying to be better and act like a superhero for his partner who he viewed as his own super savior, as well as his weakness (kryptonite) because of how much he loved them. i thought it was a really sweet song. but it's just about a douchebag guy who acts like a douchebag to his partner who he doesn't seem to actually like very much. it's not a good song. but again, butt rock. sorry

#*char noises* #talking pop

[martenarts]

"What're YOU gonna grow up to be?"

"...Happy?"

I must admit, the Lion Guard is a show that I didn't really enjoy, personally speaking. I was certainly not the target audience. For an obsessive nerd such as myself, I felt as though many interesting idea's were missing, such as expanding on the Outsiders or the effects of Scars reign. There are many idea's I do love from this show, though! Such as expanding on the role of the King/Queen, attempts to add some culture (even if it is as simple as using the Swahili language more), and showcasing the residents of the Pridelands. I believe the expansion on the Hyena characters and the idea of the Lion Guard were probably my favorite idea's to come out of the show.

And honestly... I thought I was losing my mind when Kion got a literal cutie-mark on his shoulder! I've since grown much more appreciative of the supernatural elements thanks to some amazing fan interpretations over the years. (australet789 and Kaikree are personal favorites of mine recently)

The show still has good things to offer, though, and I love getting new things to develop in my humble little AU. The whole magic roar thing? Yeah, that isn't real here. Instead, the entire Lion Guard show is nothing more than a fantasy conjured up by Simba's youngest and most aimless son. Kion has an immense amount of free time in his cubhood. The only responsibilities he really needs to fulfill is staying close to Pride Rock and playing, as play is the only real way for any cub to prepare for their adulthood. Although many times his adventures do end up leading him and the animals into trouble that they must navigate.

Kion has endless energy and a healthy thirst for fun, always eager to include anyone in his games, lion or otherwise! Simba encouraged this friendship with other animals- after all, the King himself had been raised by a meerkat and warthog. He knew the value of befriending other animals, something that Kiara had never quite understood beyond showing respect to the animal tribes in their kingdom. Occasionally, Simba would even play the role of the "antagonist," insisting that Kion couldn't possibly form a Lion Guard of other animals! (In reality, Simba loves the idea's his son comes up with, and regrets being unable to play more often with his cubs) His game took many of the young, neighboring Pride Land animals by storm, and very soon, Kion had an entire group of playmates to meet up with day after day. He's popular, far more popular than Kiara, and he knows this.

The siblings have tough moments sometimes, like any siblings would. While neither would ever admit it, both cubs are very jealous of the other. Kiara has never stopped craving freedom and fun since before meeting Kovu (contrary to her Lion Guard alternative), even after nearly getting eaten by crocodiles, she only came to crave more adventure. Or at least the chance to befriend another lion cub that wasn't aware of her royalty. Still, she has not quite shaken the feeling that she doesn't want to be queen… Yet she grows to work against this instinct for the sake of making her father proud. Kion does a very good job of hiding his insecurities, but in truth, he craves a purpose or role within the pride. Even as a cub, he is aware that he will eventually become a migrant, as is expected of every male lion that grows to adulthood. Leaving his home to explore the world certainly isn't the worst fate, but leaving his friends and family behind? Abandoning the exploits and treasures that the Pride Lands had to offer? Being all alone…?

Unwilling to share his insecurity, Kion taunts his sister instead. Putting on a front for all to see, and letting almost no one know about the doubts that secretly poison his dreams.

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#Neither really want to hurt the other #But kids... people of all ages can be complicated #lion king #lion guard au #kiara #kion #fanart #lion king au

[shadowcovcn]

2,6,7 and 9 !

spread the love // @spynorth // accepting 

What’s a roleplay blog whose writing style you admire?

@trickstercaptain - One of my oldest rp friends and someone who’s writing I have always admired. Lottie is simply a very talented writer. I don’t even know where to begin, but I guess the biggest thing that comes to mind is that they are excellent at ‘show don’t tell’. I’m obviously most familiar with their portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow. He’s not the most emotionally honest character but they manage to portray his complexities in such a well fashioned manner. They do that for all their muses though. They’re someone who prefers to do deep dives on their muses and really get into the nitty gritty of what makes them tick. Aka my kind of person. 

@hlsng / @cravensw0rth - It can be especially hard to capture a characters voice but this is something I’ve seen jayne do very well. When I read the dialogue of their replies I clearly hear the characters voice behind each. Furthermore, each muse they write is made distinct in their replies. You can sense Guillermo’s apprehension or Laszlo’s passion through their writing. I don’t know, they’re just someone who has been a more recent (but very welcome) addition to my dash. 

@munsontm / @goldenngore - I’ll admit, sometimes I read Frankenstein’s thread replies just for inspiration. They’re an excellent writer but what stands out most to me is that they do a great job of setting the scene and having the environment interact with their muse. So often if feels like two muses are interacting in vague black hole, but Frankenstein knows how to color in their threads and really pull you into the scene. 

What’s a roleplay blog who’s an absolute joy to talk to ooc?

@lighthouseborn - Hannah is a really fun person to talk to. They have so many ideas about Henry, Shipwreck, and the PoTC universe at large. I always love to pick their brain and read their dissections of Henry. They just have so much passion for their muse and it can be contagious. 

@musecraft / @harringtontm + @trickstercaptain -  The two people I talk to on a near daily basis. Lottie and Rosemary are the bomb-diggity

What’s a roleplay blog you love whose character you didn’t know until you started writing with them?

@spynorth / @piraticalwit - I still have no fucking clue who Lucas North is or why you occasionally call him John Bateman. I technically knew of Hook but not your Hook and at this point I feel like anything OTHER THAN your Hook would be a disappointment. I don’t know what the point of this is other than me saying that I love you, Lucas, and I hope one day you’ll rp a muse I’m actually familiar with (but also I hope you don’t because it’s funnier this way).

@azmenka - LISTEN I’m on the wrong blog for this because technically Maron has only interacted with Teague, but I wanna say that Hannah has done such an excellent job with Maron Greyjoy. Technically he is dead in the books so it was impossible to know the character. But at this point I don’t care. They have saved Maron from GRRM’s grimy clutches and developed him into a splendidly smarmy character whom myself and Teague have grown to enjoy immensely. 

What’s a roleplay blog whose dedication you admire?

@musecraft - Rosemary is one of the most creative people I’ve met on this platform. They have quickly become one of my favourite people to plot with and their ability to mold different muses into a variety of verses is unparalleled. Like, they do such an excellent job with developing each muse in a variety of verses and seeing how it all turns out. It’s like watching master chef Gordon Ramsey except instead of hurling insults at you, they’re throwing words of encouragement and hugs. Truly a fabulous person and a fabulous writing partner. 

@matriiiarch - Someone I’ve admired from afar for a few months. I’m a sucker for muns who are able to weave cohesive plots across a thread and set up established timelines, lore, canon, etc. They’ve managed to do that with their Gomez and I find it really splendid to read/watch their threads together develop. I think they’ve built something very unique on their blog and it’s a joy to have them on my dash. 

@therelentless - I’ve said this before but pluto has taken a comedic character and given him layers while maintaining his character voice and overall personality. They have kept Nandor funny while fleshing out his backstory. They have expanded his character while not shirking away from what makes Nandor such a mess to begin with. They have really dedicated themselves to keeping Nandor at his most authentic self and it’s always nice to see someone so dedicated to developing their muse without changing them for the sake of plots or ships or whatever else. Pluto is someone I would want to follow even if I wasn’t a fan of WWDIT because I simply admire how much they care about their muse and doing him justice (which they do).

#⌈ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ⌋ ➝ (mun.) #ooc / mun.

[dbluegreen]

caffeine high and trying to bore the world

this post is kind of embarrassing,but more importantly i just want to share a little about my life.

yesterday and today,i worked my ass off. it is not obvious, and i have to laugh about it myself to make myself feel better. yesterday,i put the new filter into the britta,and did the dumping of the first three pitchers to get rid of the carbon dust. that uses my energy. then i went downstairs -we live on the second floor and luckily not the third-to get the cat's order of food from chewy in the lobby. my sister usually does that,but she was too tired and i had a little bit left borrowed from some spoonfuls of haagen dazs coffee ice cream. (it gives me energy,but then i crash. i love caffeine and the coffee flavor,but i don't do that very often,because of aforementioned crashing effects and also digestive affects.) funny that it was spoonfuls that gave me the energy,considering 'spoon theory' for those with chronic exhaustion and/or limited energy. i'm kind of tired of the theory...though it has been helpful to many...but i prefer the battery charging image.

my sister, who lives with me and who works part time online.to pay for her food and other things that she can,also has chronic illness,as i do. she has a bit more energy than me,but has a lot of medical stuff which can flare pretty seriously and often,as well as the chronic stuff, and we have a geriatric cat whom we love very much but is not too healthy. so we jokingly call each other 'disasters' because,you know,laughing helps and we are both fortunate to have compatible senses of humor!

anyway,so that was yesterday. today i payed a bill by phone. i try to do one thing a day,which is ridiculous,and i have a few chores i do but my sister does most of what is done,which is not enough but is as much as we can manage. yes,we need a butler and a maid and wish we were rich so we could pay what that would be worth! tomorrow,i have to take out the trash to the dumpster,down the stairs,up a little hill which i have fallen on recently...i have to be careful with my old bones and i have tinnitus to go with my lifelong klutziness...and then back upstairs. i usually check the mail to make sure it's not piling up in the box. never hear from ed mcmahon,unfortunately,and that is an archaic reference. probably not that interesting,but i make myself chuckle.

between my chronic exhaustion caused by various things,including chronic depression along with seasonal depression and slightly bipolar ups and downs, it is hard for me to do much of anything except sleep,eat,use the computer to read,listen to podcasts and music, and watch occasional movies or shows, and then force myself to do the absolutely necessary things.

the other thing caffeine does is it makes my brain happy and i write stuff like this. maybe it is just as well that doesn't happen often,but i enjoy it immensely when it does. i usually use that energy to write overdue communications to family and friends,but today i felt like making a post for myself,and anyone else who might care to read. this was fun for me,though i know it is boring. no shade on anyone who does not really want to read the personal stuff.

#personal #low battery disaster #caffeine! #my little life