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mellowsaturns · 2 years

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do you hear my heart? (don’t forget it)

BUCKY BARNES X READER

wc: 3.4k

warnings: past trauma, self-doubt, mild violence, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

summary: a fight in the office happens because of a broody super soldier which leads to said soldier coming to your apartment to check up on you

masterlist

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As if life doesn’t throw enough shit in your way, getting into a fight with your co-worker was the last thing you thought your week would end with.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t completely unexpected. One of the data analysts that works in the Tower was going to get their shit rocked one day or another. If not by you, definitely another fellow colleague who actually had enough decency to keep their thoughts to themselves.

As an intelligence analyst yourself, it was unfortunate that you had to share the floor with her. Usually, you don’t pay attention to what she says because it’s irrelevant to you anyways. But today, you coincidentally heard her talking about a fellow Avenger like she knows them.

She doesn’t.

So what gives her the right to say out-loud, in her annoying voice that Steve Rogers shouldn’t have brought Bucky Barnes into the Avengers Tower because it would be a threat to all of the people here and a bunch of other nasty off-hand comments?

God that infuriated you. It really infuriated you because the next thing you knew, her white blouse was soaked in the leftover coffee you had in your mug. Let’s just say she didn’t take it well and it took some time before the two of you were pulled back, nasty snares on both of your faces.

You got an earful from your chief, something about professionalism but you weren’t really paying attention. Your focus was on the stinging of your right cheek and how nice the ice pack felt against it. Yeah. So that’s how your Friday at the office went.

Driving back home to your little apartment in Queens, the traffic gave you time to ponder about what happened and what the fuck were you thinking? Throwing coffee at a co-worker and having a little wrestling match on the floor? What in the world possessed you to do something like that?

Oh right, it was Bucky fucking Barnes.

A few years ago, Natasha asked you to find information on a trained assassin (because she doesn’t trust anyone but you) and you happily did (because you loved her like a sister). Who would’ve thought the infamous Winter Soldier you told her about was actually Steve Rogers’ long lost friend? And as Steve’s friend you obviously helped him as much as possible, finding every piece of obtainable information about Bucky’s potential whereabouts after the Triskelion mess.

And you just happened to develop a stupid crush on him.

Grunting in annoyance, your steps were heavy as you walked up the stairs. Sorry to the neighbours.

“Any harder and you’ll punch a hole straight through the floor,” a low voice called out.

Whipping your head up at the familiar voice, a surprised expression adorned your face as Bucky leaned against the wall beside your front door.

"Heard what happened today, you okay?”

Oh god. He’s here. Did you get smacked so hard that you’re actually in dreamland?

His calling of your name snapped you back from your little trance.

“How do you know where I live?” you blurted out, almost too rushed and loud that you had to shut your lips in embarrassment.

He shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Got it from Steve.”

“Oh… yeah… right.” You shifted nervously, “you want to come in?”

A single hum from him answered your question. You opened the door to your apartment and turned on the lights.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you asked, opening the fridge to gulp down a bottle of cold water to cool your growing body temperature.

“M’ fine.”

You hate how your heartbeat can’t seem to control itself whenever you're around him. Even at the Tower, you had a hard time controlling your nerves around him, but at least there were usually other people around—Steve, Nat, Sam and even Tony when he wasn’t locking himself up building his suits—who made it easier for you to carry on the conversations and the rare times when Bucky would ask you something. The Tower was also big enough to run away whenever you saw him coming into a room you were solely occupying. Where could you hide in your 600 sq. ft apartment?

“S’okay if I sit down?”

You nodded your head, gesturing for the couch. Joining him a minute later, you cleared your throat. “So… What brings you here?”

Bucky looked at you in confusion before pointing to his right cheek. Furrowing your brows, you brought your hand to your face and flinched slightly from the small jolt of pain, bringing you back to reality.

Oh yeah, that’s why he’s here.

Bucky shifted closer to you—although you could tell it was with hesitation—and tilted his head to get a better look, and sighed.

"No big deal," you said, trying to assure him and yourself at the close proximity.

"Does it hurt?"

"No," you said softly, averting your eyes to the carpet.

He frowned and scooted even closer to you. Leaning so he could take a better look, his face was mere centimeters away from yours. He used his hand to brush off the hair that stuck onto your cheek and gently touched the area. You flinched slightly, not because it gravely hurted but because Bucky's fingers were so, so cold against your burning cheek. He mumbled a quiet apology before examining it more. "Doesn’t look too bad. Should get better in a few days," he murmured to you or to himself, you didn’t quite know.

He pulled away. “Be more careful next time, okay? You don’t have to defend me. I learnt to ignore those comments.”

You looked up at him and met his eyes—eyes you could get lost in if you weren’t careful, much like the endless depth of blue waters of the oceans. “But do you believe them?”

You know he’s aware of such comments. Hiding his metal hand with leather gloves, never wearing short sleeves in the summer despite seeing the sweat drip down the sides of his face, always wearing some kind of jacket, the way he would stand or sit at the back during meetings to make his presence as minimal as possible, averting his eyes whenever someone tries to talk to him, wearing caps in public to hide portions of his face, you knew his past still haunted him.

You weren’t a stranger to such comments either. When Steve first brought Bucky to the Tower after clearing his name, all everyone could talk about was the Winter Soldier being in the same building as them. Even a year later, there was still talk, still how they can’t believe the Winter Soldier is in the same building as them with a grimace, but never about how Bucky Barnes managed to stay strong despite all the hell he’s been through with admiration.

Sometimes, the screams from his nightmares still haunt you. As the Avengers most trusted intelligence analyst, Tony had a spare room for you whenever you worked overtime. You would never forget the first time you jolted up from your sleep, frantic at the dreadful, agonizing, and heart-wrenching screams that filled the empty darkness in the Tower. Nat stalked into your room to assure you everything was okay, that it was just Bucky having nightmares again. Again. God, how many times did he get such horrible dreams? It broke your heart. Yet, when you woke up the next day and walked into the shared kitchen, Bucky was there listening to Sam crack some inappropriate joke at eight-o’clock in the morning with a small smile on his face despite his dark circles and sullen complexion. You thought to yourself at that moment that he was the strongest person you have ever met.

That’s why you get so defensive whenever someone talks about him as if they know him. They would never understand what he had gone through, and from reading the intel you had once gathered for Steve, you don’t think just anyone could have survived being under Hydra. But it was Bucky Barnes. He was strong and tough and resilient, enduring for that day someone comes and finds him and saves him from his endless hell. His recovery was brutal too. Steve would tell you about it, but all you could think about was how admirable he was, never giving up on the journey back to a normal life despite the phantom torments and prejudices against him.

You wish he knew that.

“What?” he asked breathlessly.

“Bucky… It's easy to ignore those comments, but believing them is another thing. Do you… do you believe them? What they are saying?”

He didn’t know how to reply. With that much blood on his hands alongside being brainwashed for seventy years in the most inhumane ways, he just can’t help but to believe he became what they forced upon him.

There were times when he would accidentally use too much strength and break his toothbrush. There were times when he knocked Sam over a bit too hard during training. There were times when the fork in his metal hand would bend over like a folded chair without him realizing because his metal arm still had control over him. Then there were the times people side-eyed him and hushed whispers among each other as he walked across the lobby to exit the Tower. And there were the faces of his victims that haunted him in his dreams almost every night.

So, yeah. Bucky guess he does believe what they are saying—a small part of it was the truth anyways.

“I have seventy years of repentance, doll. The soldier doesn’t just go away that easily.”

You didn’t miss the flash of guilt and sadness in his eyes (or the term of endearment from his mouth). “I think you’re being too harsh on yourself. I know you probably get sick of hearing it but that wasn’t you. It was never you. How can you repent for something you didn’t do?”

“I still did it anyway.”

“And you also chose not to. You chose to trust Steve. You chose to trust the Avengers. I know you were still weary and not quite… Bucky yet. But you still took their help. Despite everything the soldier did, you chose to be good, you chose to cut ties with him because deep down, you knew you were still Bucky Barnes. The one who used to beat up Steve’s bullies.”

He smiled slightly at that. Maybe you’re right.

Bucky can admit that he has come a long way since the cold calculated assassin he once was. He would never forget the feeling of accepting Steve’s help, the uncertainty, the unknowns, the vulnerability. But he was so sick of killing, so sick of the blood, so sick of the demands, so sick of the torture, so sick of being on the wrong side. Bucky didn’t want any of it anymore.

Living at the Avengers Tower wasn’t easy. After being alone in a dark cold chamber for almost all his life, the big unfamiliar space was difficult to adjust to. But he had Steve, and everyone else who opened up to him to provide that normalcy he never thought he would have again. And there was also you.

He would never forget the first time he saw you at the Tower, perched up on the kitchen counter, dangling the vine of grapes above your mouth as Natasha tells you about her latest mission.

You were listening attentively until she called out his name out of nowhere, making you turn around and stretch your neck to see him lingering in the hallway corner. He met your eyes and wondered how they possibly could shine so brightly. And the smile you gave him. Bucky wasn’t an artist like Steve was, but at that very moment, all he wanted to do was capture your beauty and frame it in order to preserve the moment forever.

He saw you a few more times afterwards. Twice in the training room, three times in the lobby, six times in the living room, eight times in the meeting room, and ten times in the kitchen.

He should have been more careful around you. Despite being friendly with Steve, you were still a stranger. But after you left during his first encounter with you that day in the kitchen, Nat quietly told him that you were the one who spent hours digging up information to pinpoint his whereabouts, helping them find him and gathering enough intel to help clear his name. He thinks he has trusted you ever since.

He still found it difficult to talk to people like Tony or Bruce or Clint. But with you, it was so easy. It was so easy to talk to you. So easy to be around you. So easy to touch you—like he just did moments ago. Bucky wasn't a man of many words—that was a lifetime ago—but with you, he felt like the old Bucky could come back, the one who effortlessly charmed girls into a dinner and a dance.

But there were times he noticed you exiting rooms whenever he came by. He noticed how your voice sort of shakes whenever you talk to him in the Tower. And he thinks that the Bucky Barnes from the 40s who girls absolutely adored was long gone.

“So… why did you come here? Like really come here?” You asked once again.

Not that you mind, it was always a joy to see him. But there was no way he came because he was worried about you right? You were just some analyst that spent way too much time in the Avengers living quarters who free loaded their kitchen.

But he looked so worried. And he touched your cheek like it was no big deal, and it looked like it was painful for him to see you in such a state that it made your own heart clench.

“Just came to check up on you,” he replied.

During training, Steve came in to tell him that you got in a physical fight with one of your co-workers today. Bucky was confused as to why Steve would tell him this, but he couldn’t stop and began bombarding him with questions: if you were okay, if you needed to go to the hospital bay, if you needed emergency care, if you were at the hospital right now, who was the person who hurted you, what was their name. Sam came in shortly afterwards and told him the whole story—because of course Sam would know the details—and Bucky rushed out of the training room not before Steve gave him your address because somehow he knew Bucky would come here.

He knew he shouldn’t have come here. He knew you would have felt uncomfortable in his presence. Why else would you act the way you do around him? Maybe he should leave before he does anything stupid and scare you off for good.

But you had said all those comforting words to him prior. You understood him, you helped him, you were friendly to him, you reassured him—and he knew it wasn’t out of pity or a paycheck, it was out of the goodness of your own heart. And you sometimes looked at him with such sparkle in your eyes that he wanted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming.

“Thank you. But I’m okay, really. You should head back to the Tower, it’s getting late.” Although, what you really wanted to say was: “Thank you for coming here. It means a lot. But really, I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Why?”

Huh?

He must’ve noticed your confusion. “Why would you… hurt yourself to… defend me?”

You really said the latter out loud. Oh god… Might as well admit the truth right?

“Because… because I think you’re worth fighting for.” And that was the absolute truth.

Bucky knows you’re not a super soldier with enhanced hearing, but he wonders if you can hear his rapid heartbeat right now.

The Winter Soldier had hurt people and Bucky was hurt by people. But here you were, hurting people and getting hurt because of him—for him. He didn’t know whether to yell at you or hug you.

“I’m serious. You’re so… inspiring. I admire you a lot,” you added, just to make sure he knows.

Bucky released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “I always thought you were afraid of me. A bit, anyways. You’re so cheerful around others but whenever I come around… I would see you leaving and whenever I ask you for help on my phone, your voice sometimes shakes and I—”

“Bucky!” You called out to stop his rambling. Did you seriously make him feel like that because of your own inability to control your feelings for him? You wanted to smack yourself. “I am not afraid of you. Never. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m… I’m just not very good at hiding my feelings.”

“Hide your feelings?”

You laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? I like you. More than I should. It’s stupid. I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable by telling you this. I understand if you don’t feel the same. You’re healing and you shouldn’t be thinking about things like dating and love. And besides, I’m just some nobody analyst who Tony pays way too much for no reason.”

Bucky was speechless. Did you really think you were a nobody?

“You’re not a nobody… you’re you. The one everyone in the team depends on. You’re so important to the team. I’ve only been around for a year or so but I can tell they love you. Everyone in the Tower. You’re important. You’re family.”

You think you could cry. But then he continues. “You’re important to me. You make me feel… normal. As close to normal I can get anyways. When I look at you, when I’m around you, I feel like I can be… Bucky. I know I still have a long way to go, but everytime I see you, I feel like I have a reason to try harder. And if it's anything, I feel like I don’t deserve someone like you in my life because you’re this beautiful human being and I’m this—”

You were seriously crying now, and Bucky stopped. You were always doubtful about your skills and importance, but Bucky’s sincere words… you wanted to enclose them in a locket and wear it forever to make sure your heart always remembered them.

“What’s wrong? Did I say—”

You shook your head and wiped the tears away. “No, you didn’t say anything wrong.” You laughed, “That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you.” You knew he meant all those words from the bottom of his heart. And that subtle confession… you think you could die.

God, the two of you were absolute idiots.

“You… believe me right?” said Bucky.

You nodded, “if only you believe me.”

Bucky wanted to tell you that your words meant more to him than any kind of counsel and guidance that his therapist had told him. But the silence between the two of you was so comforting that he just wanted to stay like this. He will tell you another time. After tonight, he thinks he has all the time in the world to tell you—tell you everything—without the barrier of unsure feelings and hesitancy.

After a moment of serene silence, you looked up and met his eyes again and smiled. “You know. You just made me like you a hundred times more than I already do.”

“You like me?”

“Did you not hear what I just said earlier?”

He smirked. “Mm’ just wanted to hear you say it again.” There he was, the Bucky from the 40s who charmed girls out of their socks.

You snorted. “I like you. I like you so much that I think I would have exploded if I held it in any longer. Happy?”

He nodded, and cleared his throat once his eyes averted to your cheek again. “You should probably ice your….”

“I have frozen peas in my freezer.”

“I’ll get it,” he said, getting up and stalking towards your refrigerator. As you watched him from behind, you noticed he didn’t wear his gloves. He never forgets his glove before going out. And when he came back with the miserable looking green bag, he used his left hand to hold the bag against your cheek. The fact that Bucky chose to use his metal hand this time instead of his fleshy right one like you remembered him doing when he brushed your hair out of your face—it made your heart swell.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #originally posted on ao3

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chocopbwafer · 1 year

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[ general dating headcanons with fem!human!reader ]

Pairing : [m!voltron!chars x fem!reader]

TW? : None

Word Amount : 836

Originally Posted On : AO3

When Shiro gets stressed out he just likes to rest his head In your lap, or In the crook of your neck while he wraps his arms around your waist.

He finds your presence very comforting.

When you're worried or stressed out, he catches on Immediately.

Will give you a glass of your favorite beverage, maybe some snacks and hold you close to him, and you just bury your head In his chest enjoying the comfort.

"Want to talk about It?"

If you don't want to, then he'll respect that, he'll just try to keep whatever's bothering you off your mind.

If you do want to though, he'll definitely listen to whatever you want to vent about.

He's been In a few past relationships so he's decent In experience

He gives great hugs.

(Sometimes he likes to be the little spoon.)

Idk why but he gives me the vibe of somebody who can cook good waffles

He likes to kiss the bridge of your nose.

If you have freckles then he's definitely kissing each one he can find.

Kiss his forehead while playing with his hair If you want him to melt Into a puddle

(♡)

You and Hunk have your own little cooking class with each other.

One part of you Is paying attention to what he's saying while he's cooking with you and the other part Is just smiling cause he's smiling too and his happiness Is so contagious???

He's been on a few dates before but this would be his first time In a serious relationship so he's kinda awkward at first

He eventually warms up and gets closer to you

He's a really good singer, like, you come home one evening and just hear him In the shower singing his lungs away

If you've had a nightmare he'll hum and sing to you while holding you close, and he sounds so nice you end up dozing off.

Kiss his cheeks and he's just gonna grin at you like a goof

(♡)

Self-care for Lance Is a very big deal, and If he notices that you're not taking time out to care for yourself he's putting that to a whole stop.

Ask him for face masks and moisturizers cause the boy stays stocked up

He'll definitely wash and braid your hair (If you let him that Is!)

Pampers you with love and affection every chance he can

He's clingy and needs kisses every five seconds

"Lance, I JUST kissed you"

"I want another one though!"

Despite his constant flirting he actually has never been In a relationship, let alone a date

So when he asks you out and you accept he's kinda confused

"Now what?"

Very sweet boyfriend

He likes to nuzzle his head Into your neck and sneak a peck or two there.

His jaw Is kinda ticklish but he certainly won't complain if you pepper a few kisses there

(♡)

Both you and Shiro are the only ones that can calm Keith down when he's agitated.

Just pull him aside and talk to him for a little bit

He'll calm down

Eventually

He's never been In a relationship before and he's kinda emotionally constipated so the whole dating and love thing Is kinda awkward for him

So when he asks you out, flowers In hand, his head averted and cheeks a dusty pink you already know he didn't do It on his own

Shiro, Hunk and Pidge helped him out

Coran helped too, but Keith was pretty sure the courting methods he was talking about probably only worked on Altean women

Goes to Shiro for advice occasionally

He does not understand flirting

He'll just look at you confused and then like, ten hours later he's like "oh"

He really likes to hold your hands, and just idly rub along the lines of your palms

He likes to kiss your knuckles

His shoulders are kinda ticklish

(♡)

Sometimes you'll tag along behind Coran when he makes improvements on the castle-ship.

While you help him with chores and whatnot he might talk about what Altea was like

He'll apologize for babbling but If you encourage him to keep talking about his home-planet and he will not hesitate to just talk about what It was like, and you end up smiling cause his eyes are literally sparkling the whole time

Tell him about earth dang it

Poor man doesn't know what snow is

If you and the rest of the crew ever make It back home you promise to yourself the first thing you'll do Is show your boyfriend how to make a snowman

Has been In a few relationships and dates before but with Altean women

He has no clue on how to pursue a human woman

Gets advice from both Pidge and Shiro

He's oddly warm

Like, If you cuddle or hug him he just feels like a fricking furnace

Very overprotective and sweet boyfriend tbh

He likes to sneak little kisses at the tips of your ear

fin.

#voltron x reader #shiro x reader #hunk x reader #lance x reader #keith x reader #coran x reader #headcanons #originally posted on ao3

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0skeleton-tears0 · 8 months

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Rosyln

[Jacob Black] X [Reader]

One shot

Prompt: Unwilling Imprint, ANGST

Pronouns: I tried to be gender-neutral but I may have messed up a few times.

TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND GORE. Read at your discretion. A little bit of mommy issues lmao. (laughing through the pain rn)

Notes: I don’t have the best grasp on what phones were like in the 2000’s so it’s probably inaccurate. Jake is fine y'all please don’t call paw patrol. JUSTICE FOR LEAH CLEARWATER. A little bit of simping for her because idc she's gorgeous and I love her.

I realized that the timing for this is a little confusing, so its supposed to take place in like the middle of New Moon but I wrote that Seth and Leah had already shifted, which doesn't happen until eclipse so pls ignore that.

THE FUCKING TITLE HAS BEEN SPELLED WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME ITS ROSYLN NOT ROSLYN

꧂☾✮☽꧁

Jacob Black had made it clear he didn't want me in his life anymore. Those last words I had heard from him burned themselves into my memory, into my very skin.

"It wasn't supposed to be you."

I cringed and tried to sink into the bed further, but the mattress wouldn’t let me in. My eyes traced the shapes in the popcorn ceiling of my room, and I tried desperately to think of anything else. Making shapes out of nothing—and stories to go with it. Yet my mind seemed to somehow circle back. Everything seemed to remind me of him. And the last time I saw him.

The rain pounded against the steps of my front porch, drenching my clothes in muggy water. The deafening sound almost tore me away from the boy in front of me. But he wasn't the boy I knew before. He was taller, bigger, and much meaner. He said nothing for a moment, he just stared at me. I couldn’t read his expression—it was many things all at once. There seemed to be some sort of realization, then confusion, and then hatred. A burning hatred that made me want to shrink away from him. It made my skin crawl. I was suddenly very aware of the way my clothes now hung to my skin, the rainwater adding an extra pound or two.

He shook violently, his breath hitching. His eyes darted around like they were searching for something.

I hadn’t expected him to change so drastically in the two weeks I hadn’t seen him. His long, dark hair was cut short. His formerly lanky figure looked like that of a man twice his age. And his dark skin bore an intricate tattoo located on his right shoulder. It was the same tattoo Sam had. Sam, the man he apparently hated.

"It wasn't supposed to be you."

That was the last thing he said to me, before storming away. Into his truck, and out of my life.

It hurt to think about it, I tried to convince myself that it was somehow my fault. That I had said or done something wrong. Something so vile that it would make him hate me enough to leave. But why would he be so angry with me? I had called him, I called Billy. I even tried calling Charlie. No one would give me a coherent answer. Charlie was the only one willing to give me anything. Saying something about how Jacob and Bella had gotten into a big fight, and she was receiving similar treatment. But to know that he had at least had contact with her while having ignored me completely. It stung. It made my skin crawl, and I felt a burning sense of rage. But it was overshadowed by guilt. Maybe it was my fault—or was it selfish to assume that everything in his life revolved around me?

I felt tempted to call Bella. It seemed like she knew the most about whatever had Jacob acting this way. I bit my lip, weighing my options. Bella and I were never close, I knew that Jacob liked her. Jacob liked her a lot—I bit my lip a little harder at that thought. I hated the way he would swoon whenever she breathed in his direction. How he would trip over his feet trying to please her. And yet he couldn’t take the hint that she didn’t want him. And she refused to let him go. Wrapping him around her finger and leading him on, only to pull back as soon as he got his hopes up. I stared at my phone, I had Bella’s number saved somewhere deep within my contacts. The last time I had actually used it was weeks ago when I tried to be friends with her—she had denied my advances of course. I reached for my phone hesitantly. My heartbeat quickened slightly. Would she even answer me? Was it rude to try and talk to her just so I could ask about Jacob? Especially while they were fighting? My finger hovered above the call button. I pressed it quickly, it was worth a shot.

The phone rang for an uncomfortable amount of time, enough for me to start regretting my decision. But before I could chicken out and hang up, Bella answered. She didn’t sound too great. Her voice was slightly hoarse, and it wobbled a bit. It sounded like she was forcing the words out of her mouth.

“Hello?” She answered. It took me a second to remember what I had called her for, though I should have expected this from her. She was almost in the same situation I was in. Almost.

“Hey Bells,” I used the old nickname we had for her when we were kids. I hoped that the friendliness would maybe help convince her to spill the beans about Jacob. “I don't want to pry into your guys’ business, but what's going on with Jacob?” I tried to sound like I was just mildly curious, forcing the worry out of my tone. But I didn't have time to explain my reason for asking before she cut me off.

“He's just not feeling well.” She spoke fast, too fast for me to understand at first. The words jumbled and rushed, slowly connecting in my mind. Not feeling well? He seemed fine to me.

“Oh,” That couldn't be all that was wrong. “Did he say if he was sick?” I questioned. I wanted to drag this conversation out. I wanted to pry as much information as I could from Bella.

She paused on the other side of the phone—I desperately wanted to know what was going on inside her head, to hear what she was keeping from me. There was no way she didn't know more than what she was leading on. “Uh, he said it was Mono. Yeah, he got pretty bad Mono recently so you probably won't see him for a while.” She spit the words out fast. Stumbling over them like the way she stumbles through life. I knew for certain that he did not have Mono. That was the biggest load of shit I had heard since Jacob told me he “didn't have a crush on Bella”. People got Mono from kissing someone else with it, and I knew that Jacob wouldn’t have kissed anyone but Bella. And she was apparently Mono-free.

“Oh that’s awful, when did he get it?” I asked. I had no idea whether or not she knew about my recent encounter with Jacob. Only her answer would tell.

She panicked for a second. “Um, I think it was three weeks ago. Yeah! Three weeks.” She sounded more sure of herself the second time she said it. Bingo.

Bella had always been a bad liar. She’d stutter over her words more than usual, and she’d start to get antsy the longer the lie went on.

“Huh, well that really sucks. If you get a hold of him could you tell him I hope he feels better soon? I haven't been able to contact him.” I didn't plan on telling Bella about Jacob's midnight appearance. She didn't know, which meant she didn't need to know.

“Yeah, I will.” She sounded eager to hang up, so I put her out of her misery. I tossed my phone back onto the bed. And began to calculate my next move.

Bella had no idea that I had seen Jacob, so she had no idea that I was certain he was not sick at all. Sick in the head maybe, but he seemed physically healthy to me. Jacob stood in the pouring rain with no problem, in a sleeveless shirt might I add. And showed no signs of any kind of sickness. From the sound of it, Bella knew he wasn't sick. It was painfully obvious that she was trying to cover for him. I had to come up with some plan of action. I needed Jacob to talk to me. It wasn’t fair that Bella was allowed to know everything while his “best friend” wasn’t.

I inhaled deeply through my nose and exhaled from my mouth. This wasn’t going to be easy. I had no idea where he was, and I knew no one was going to tell me. I could beg Billy to tell me what was going on, he could only handle so much of my puppy-dog eyes before he cracked. I could march my way to Sam’s house and demand to know everything. Both plans of action sounded terrible. It felt selfish. I wasn’t really owed anything, it felt wrong to demand that they tell me their secrets. Maybe once I found out I’d wish that I’d left it alone. Stubborn as always, I decided that I was going to find out. You can’t just shut someone out for no reason and then be upset when they want to know why.

I reached for the stale glass of water on my bedside table and knocked back a large gulp. I cringed at the funny taste. My thoughts flew a mile a minute. I came up with a new plan of action. I was going to go to Jacob’s house and wait for him there. He couldn’t stay away from his house forever and I was willing to wait as long as it took. He would talk to me, whether he liked it or not.

I marched to the other side of my bedroom and rifled through my closet. I picked out the first outfit I found, and threw on a jacket. I snatched my keys and marched to my front door. I didn’t care who I had to ask, I would figure this out. There was no way Jacob was getting rid of me so easily. The puddles on the pavement splashed violently as I stomped through them, soaking through the crevices of my shoes and dampening my socks. But I was too preoccupied to care. The car door creaked from the force that I opened it with, I threw myself into the driver's seat and slammed it shut again. I flinched from the loud noise. I need to slow down a bit. I inhaled, closed my eyes, and relaxed my shoulders. I shouldn’t be driving in such a state. I pried my eyes open and started the car, reversing out of the driveway once I heard the roar of the engine.

The long roads that led to the reservation were more familiar to me than the back of my hands. I had driven there so many times, for as long as I could remember. It hurt to think about every other time I had been here. When things weren’t so complicated. When it was Jake and me against the world. Without Bella. I bit the inside of my cheek, focusing on the pain from that instead of the tears threatening to spill. Breaking down crying while driving was not the best idea. I didn’t need to add a hospital visit and a wrecked car on top of all of the other shit going on in my life. I focused on my breathing, and not crashing the car. With every landmark, I knew I was getting closer. It wasn’t long before I was turning down the road that led to Jacob's house. A cozy, barn-esque house. Where I shared some of my most cherished memories. Though the memories were slightly bitter now. I parked the car in his driveway. Billy Black was sitting on the porch, his eyes bored into my very soul, and I fought the urge to avoid them. He huffed and wheeled himself back into the house.

I shoved myself out of the car and marched up to the front door. I pounded on the stable wood, he wouldn’t ignore me too. Billy swung the door open, looking frustrated and concerned.

“He isn’t here [Y/N]. I’ll tell him you stopped by.” He turned to close the door again. It hurt to have Billy turn me away. I had never felt anything other than welcome in his home, but I was treated like a stranger now, he was treating me like a girl scout. I grabbed the door before it could close.

“Then I’ll wait here for him,” I said in the sternest tone I could manage. It killed me to be rude to Billy. But I kept my guard up. I couldn’t show any sign that I would back down.

Billy sighed but made no move to let me in. He glanced behind him into the house, then back at me.

“I hate to do this to you kid, but you really can’t be here right now.” Billy looked me in the eyes again. His tone was stern but comforting. But I couldn’t give up so easily.

“Why not? Why won't anybody tell me what’s going on?” I was more desperate this time, my faḉade dropping. It took everything in me not to start hysterically screaming.

Billy cringed, it hurt him to shut me out. He obviously knew what was going on with his son but something was stopping him from telling me. He looked up at me again, opening his mouth to speak. But his eyes caught something behind me, and he stopped. I turned around. A red truck pulled into the driveway. Jacob sat in the driver’s seat and huffed when he saw me. I looked next to him, of course, Bella was with him. She bit her lip, and blinked way too many times, looking between me and Jacob. He stepped out of the truck and walked to the other side to open Bella’s door for her. He was just pouring salt on the wound at this point. The pair walked toward me, I opened my mouth to yell at Jake, but he walked right past me, Bella in tow. Billy looked disappointed but said nothing. Bella looked back at me with a look that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. It almost looked like sympathy, but there was venom to it. Not quite a glare, but not friendly. I scoffed. Who does this girl think she is?

“Hey!” I shouted. Jacob paused, his shoulders tensed. But he didn’t turn around to look at me. “What is your problem?” I continued, “What am I not good enough for you anymore? Not cool enough to hang out with you and your new friends?” This went much more calmly in my head. A lot less accusingly. Jacob still refused to look at me. But Bella did. She walked toward me and put her hand on my shoulder.

“[Y/N] I really think you should leave.” Bella insisted, but I shoved her hand off of me. I was even more frustrated that she had the audacity to tell me what to do after she tried to lie to me earlier.

“No! I’m not going anywhere ‘till he explains himself! He has no right to just cut me off.” I yelled, more at him than her. But she still flinched, and I felt a little bad. Jacob spun around now, jumping at the chance to protect Bella. He got in my face and pushed Bella behind him.

“Don’t you dare yell at her.” He glared at me. He shoved me back a bit, the force almost sent me flying, but I held my ground.

“I’m not yelling at her, I'm yelling at you, Jacob. Funny how you only speak to me when you want to protect her. And what the hell does “It wasn’t supposed to be you” mean?” I got right back in his face, confronting him about his last encounter with me. His eyes widened slightly, and he glanced back at Bella. She furrowed her brows and looked at him.

“Jake, what are they talking about?” She held onto Jacob’s shoulder and tried to turn him towards her. But he didn’t budge, only turning his head to look at her.

“Don’t worry about it, Bells.” The nickname made me want to barf. Wasn’t she dating that Cullen guy? Oh right. The Cullens had packed up and moved town a few months ago, the whole town had been so worried about Bella since she was so in love with Edward. I had felt bad for her too, her depressive episode was all too familiar to me. Though it seemed she had moved on and sunk her claws into Jacob now. Suddenly I wasn’t too sympathetic toward her.

“He didn’t tell you?” If he wouldn’t, I would. “He showed up at my doorstep in the pouring rain and told me the most cryptic bullshit I’ve ever heard, before disappearing out of my life!” I shouted. It seemed I had called out to some weather god because a light rain began to fall on all of us. But no one made any move to take shelter. At least this was more dramatic now.

Bella looked confused but didn’t press any further. Jacob turned to me again, he looked more frustrated than mad now.

“Look [Y/N], just go away. If I could tell you I would. But you shouldn’t be here right now.” Jacob started to shake, he wasn’t wearing that thick of clothing, so he was probably cold because of the rain. He turned to walk away again, but my hand shot out on its own to grab onto his shoulder. Woah. I was wrong, Jacob wasn’t cold at all. He was hot to the touch. It almost burned.

“Holy shit!” I pulled my hand back, and he turned around frantically, my cry alerting him. “Jacob you’re burning up! I think you need to see a doctor or something.” I looked down at my hand, thankfully it wasn’t burned, only a slight red tint was left behind. Even though I was mad at him, I couldn’t help but worry. As much as I try, I’ll never be able to hate Jacob. I looked up at him, my ‘angry face’ was gone now, a look of worry taking its place. His eyes softened for a moment. His shoulders relaxed, before tensing back up again. His gaze hardened, and he huffed.

“Go.” Was all he said, before turning again. He ushered Bella to follow him, leaving his arm around her shoulder. I stomped forward again and slammed my palm onto his shoulder.

“Hey! I’m not leaving without an answer, Jacob Black. If you think you can get rid of me that easily you are stupidly mistaken.” I let out a sarcastic laugh at the end of my sentence. Nothing was funny about this but I couldn’t help myself. Jacob shook more, and his breathing sped up. He let go of Bella and looked at me.

“I am not going to tell you again [Y/N].” He emphasized each word, “Leave now, for your own good.” For my own good my ass.

“No Jacob, not until you tell me WHY.” I emphasized my words, mimicking his. He shook so hard I was afraid he would combust.

And then he did.

Within a split second, the sounds of clothes tearing filled my ears. And I felt something tear at my arm. I was flung back from the force of it, landing on the muddy ground. White hot pain shot through my entire right side. I felt something warm run down my arm, contrasting with the cold rain surrounding me. But my focus was still caught on what was in front of me. Jacob was gone, replaced with a reddish-brown wolf. It was the size of a horse. Way bigger than any normal wolf should be. My mind felt fried. This couldn’t be real. This had to be some horrible dream or some hallucination. But the pain in my arm told me that this was all too real.

The wolf, presumably still Jacob, snarled and growled for a moment before its eyes caught sight of my arm. I looked down. I could barely see anything past the amount of red. It was my blood. The flesh was torn, ripped almost to shreds. Exposing the pink mussel beneath. I caught a small bit of white. Bone. My breath was rapid. The air entering my lungs burned, it felt like they were trying to rip open. I shook. It took everything not to start screaming. I was in shock. This couldn’t be real.

I looked back up at the Jacob-wolf. His ears flew back, and he shook and backed away slightly. His brown eyes, eyes I knew too well, flickered between my face, and my arm. His tail tucked between his legs, and he ran. With incredible speed, he ran into the forest. My ears rang.

All I could hear was the pounding of the rain and yelling. I heard yelling from all sides. A woman’s voice. And a few different male voices. I heard something thump on the ground across from me. But as my vision blurred, I was unable to make out what it was. Or, who it was. I felt something pull me from the mud. Two large hands grabbed me and held me tight. I was pulled into someone's arms, and I felt us move. The heat was almost unbearable. It was suffocating. I wanted to pull away. To be left on the ground. But I couldn’t pull together the strength to do anything. I felt oblivious to the world around me. Everything was blurry, and moving both too fast, and too slow all at once. I could make out only some of the words I heard around me. Most were panicking. But over all of that, I heard a calm voice yelling orders. I heard more clothes ripping, and two more giant figures ran into the woods. After Jacob.

I heard that same voice from above me, it was calm and reassuring this time.

“Everything is going to be okay [Y/N], we're gonna get you some help” It was distinctly Sam. I knew that tone. It was paternal, it was gentle. But it felt so firm, so firm that I believed every word of it. I let myself relax. Black spots entered my vision, everything was blurry again, and then there was nothing.

꧂☾✮☽꧁

The faint sound of beeping woke me, the shrill noise scraping against my ear canal.

I groaned. My everything hurt. I squeezed my eyes further shut, trying to block out the bright light that threatened to burn my retinas.

My opened my eyes reluctantly as I heard footsteps come through the door. Sam’s large figure came through the doorway. He looked calm, but his brow was slightly furrowed. He opened his mouth to speak, before shutting it again. He looked down for a moment, almost like he was having a conversation I couldn’t hear. Sam inhaled deeply, before stepping towards me. His heavy footsteps resonated through the nearly silent room. The only other sounds were the beeping of the machines next to me. He stepped cautiously towards me, before sitting down in the chair next to my bed. I looked at him anxiously. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t know how. There was no way I could explain what I had seen without sounding insane, “Why yes doctor, my best friend turned into a wolf and mauled my arm. No biggie though.” I bit the inside of my cheek nervously, but Sam gave me a knowing look that calmed me slightly. His look told me he could understand the silent words I was trying to speak.

“How are you feeling?” Sam’s commanding voice vibrated off the walls. I didn’t know how to answer, I assumed he was asking about my arm.

“Fine, the doctors gave me a bunch of meds to make it hurt less so I’m mostly just numb now-”

Sam raised his hand to stop me.

“No, no. How are you feeling.” He emphasized the word. He didn’t mean my arm. It was clear that he wasn’t going to try and cover up what I had seen. I knew there wasn’t much I could say to him. If anyone were to overhear me talking about my friend turning into a giant wolf and scratching my arm, they’d ship me off to the psych ward without a second thought. I bit the inside of my cheek. For a moment, I refused to meet Sam’s gaze. His eyes were intense—they always were.

I tried to think of an answer for him. But I just couldn’t put what I wanted to say into words. He seemed to understand my frustration, and he sighed.

“Look kid, I know that this is going to be hard to understand, but it's time you know the truth.”

I perked up at this. Finally, they were going to tell me what was going on. It only took a traumatizing and unexplainable experience, and my arm getting fucked up to make it happen. Worth it.

We sat there for what felt like hours, as he explained to me the deep, and extensive past of the Quileute tribe's history. How they could turn into wolves, and it was their duty to protect humans from vampires. He also told me about where Bella fit into all of this. The Cullen boy she was dating was part of a family of vampires. And, by proxy, she was now involved with the pack too. But everyone in the pack was sworn to secrecy. And that's why they couldn't tell me. Sam being the alpha made his word law. So they had no choice.

I felt guilt bubbling inside my chest, I was so mad at Jacob and the others for not telling me. But they couldn't whether they liked it or not. It felt like someone was grabbing at my heart and squeezing it. I felt so selfish, so arrogant. I demanded that they tell me everything, and then got myself hurt. I felt so bad.

Sam gave me a sympathetic look, it was as if he understood without me having to speak a word.

“It’s not your fault. Besides, we would have had to tell you anyway.” I looked up at that. But he paused.

“Why?” I asked. It was hard to find the words I wanted to say. I felt like I had so many questions, but forming them together in a coherent manner was impossible. These drugs were fucking with my head. I noticed that the lights were a bit fuzzy now.

Sam looked away and contemplated for a moment. But when he looked back, it was obvious he wasn't going to explain himself. Why does everyone have to be so cryptic all the time?

“I think Jacob should tell you himself,” Sam spoke with finality. There was no wiggle room to try and pry anything out of him.

I sighed. But I didn't try to push any further. I was exhausted. Taking in so much information was hard, especially while I was barely awake. Sam smiled at me and stood. He towered over my bed, making the giant machines look like children's toys. This explains why the Quileute men are all so big.

“I'd better let you rest kid, just come to the reservation whenever you're ready.” He smiled and made his way out.

I sunk back into the firm hospital bed. I ran through everything in my head again. Vampires? Werewolves? What other ghouls should I be worried about? Will I run into a troll the next time I cross a bridge?

I couldn’t pull together the energy to really care at the moment, the only thing I cared about was going back to sleep. I glanced down at my bandaged arm, moving it slightly, and wincing. I sighed, and relaxed my whole body. I tried my best to ignore the beeping, and clamped my eyes shut. I shifted slightly, and felt a jolt go through my entire right side. I grumbled and settled back down, being more weary of my arm this time. I rolled my eyes, this was going to be a long recovery.

꧂☾✮☽꧁

It took a week before they let me out of the hospital. But the stitches in my arm would take way longer to come out. And I wouldn't even be fully healed for a few months.

They gave me fresh clothes since mine were basically ruined. I had to wear a shirt that was way too big for me, and shorts that went down to my calves. My socks were a bright yellow, and the worst texture I’ve ever felt, with grips on the bottoms. This sucked. Stupid Jacob. Stupid wolves. Stupid me.

My mother helped me to the car, but I nudged her away slightly. My arm was hurt not my legs, I could still walk on my own. I half-expected her to try and carry me to the car.

I wasn't allowed to drive while my arm healed, obviously. But at least I got time off of school, and off work. At least one good thing could come out of this mess.

But having so much time on my hands gave me too much time to think. And of course, my mind went to every bad scenario that could happen. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to face Bella. She had seen everything. But I couldn’t really find it within myself to hate her any less. Hate feels like a strong word, but I can’t think of any other word to describe the way I feel about her. It felt like she had ripped my best friend away from me, and left a gaping, burning hole behind. But was it entirely her fault? He chose to leave me, for her. But at the same time, she didn’t make any move to stop him. I sighed. Obsessing over it wouldn’t change anything. My mom glanced at me from the driver's seat. I could see her reflection through the window, as I stared at the beautiful scenery. The rain cast a thick fog across the forest, giving a gray tint to the world around it. My mom's eyes scanned my face, before quickly bouncing back to the road.

“What’s wrong honey?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. So many things were wrong. Jake was gone, my arm is fucked, and I’m way behind on my homework. What was I supposed to tell her?

I sighed, “I just… I just miss Jake.” That felt right. It was the truth, but not in its entirety.

She grimaced, “I know sweetie, but… when people get older, they tend to drift apart. Maybe it’s just time to let Jacob go. Maybe make some new friends?” She always got over things quicker than I did.

“No. He’s my best friend. I can’t lose him.” But what would I do if I did? It was entirely possible now. He had his new wolf friends and… Bella. A shiver of anger rushed through me at the thought of her.

“I know it’s hard but-”

“No! I-” I cleared my throat. I didn’t mean to yell at her. “No, I- I won’t lose him.”

She didn’t respond, she continued to stare at the road ahead. The large pine trees cast a thick canopy above us, rainwater pouring through the gaps in the branches. I sighed and tried to relax. All this stress was bad for my health. I didn’t need to have a full breakdown and end up back in the hospital.

The pine trees gave way to a small path on the side of the road. I caught a glimpse of brown fur vanishing into the foliage. I gasped lightly, which alerted my mother.

“What’s wrong? Did you hurt your arm? You’ve got to be careful with those stitches in! And how did you even-” I cut her off before she could start ranting.

“No, no everything’s fine I just thought I saw something in the forest. Like a bear or something.”

Smooth [Y/N].

She looked hesitant, I couldn’t tell if she believed me, but I prayed she wouldn’t push me. I guess lady luck finally decided to cut me a break because my mom sighed and focused on the road again. I wanted to yell for her to stop the car. I wanted to jump out and chase after him. I didn’t care if I was injured, or if I could get lost in the forest. I wanted nothing more than to just at least talk to him. But after… the incident… would he even want to see me? I held back a sob.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I shoved myself out of the car. I needed to be alone for a bit. My mom waited a bit to get out, trailing behind me a few steps. I stood on the porch, waiting for her to unlock the door.

Memories flashed at me in waves. Pieces from my childhood, when Jacob and I would play in the grass, or draw in the driveway with our chalk. When Jacob would pull in with that loud ass truck after school to complain about all the homework he had. And when he struck the final nail into the coffin that was now our relationship. I cringed. Everything would remind me of him now. Ghosts of my past would haunt the hallway. Phantoms of what I had lost. My mother didn’t bother to hide her concern. I’m sure I looked like a mess right now. My hair was unkempt, my eyes dark and sunken in, and my skin drained of its warmth. I felt like a shell of my former self. A ghost walking amongst the living, trying to blend in. I sniffled and shook it off. I didn’t need to scream my anguish to the world. As far as they were concerned, everything was fine and dandy. I let myself in as soon as the door opened, and made a bee-line for my bedroom. I ignored the memories, and my mother when I was asked what I wanted for dinner. I let my legs give out and fell onto my bed. Just inches away from crushing my arm. I sighed, and ran my good hand over my face, trying to wipe the stress away.

I had no idea how long I lay there. Staring at the ceiling, without even bothering to make shapes in it this time. My phone rang, and my computer pinged. But I made no move to check either. Nothing went through my mind. It felt like time was moving at breakneck speed, and I was stuck. Unmoving. I was catatonic. I felt myself going through my nightly routine, showering, brushing my teeth, and taming my hair. But none of it registered. Like an automated machine. I was on autopilot. When I lay back down, I hoped to just pass out immediately. I should be exhausted. And I should be happy to be able to sleep in something other than a hospital bed. But I felt nothing. Something was missing and I knew it.

But minute after minute of laying there, I felt myself start to drift off. Maybe when I woke up, everything would have fixed itself.

꧂☾✮☽꧁

I was running. Branches and bushes whipped around me, scratching at my arms and face. They caught onto my clothes as if they were trying to slow me down. But my feet carried me through the thick forest. I heard howling, and the sound of something running. But they didn’t stop me. I had to keep going. But what was I running towards? I didn’t stop to think, I kept moving. But I was quickly halted, as a huge, black wolf appeared from the trees in front of me. I stopped as fast as possible, losing my footing and sending myself onto the hard ground. I scrambled back to my feet quickly, without taking my eyes off the wolf. It was as big as Jacob was when he turned into a wolf. More wolves emerged from the forest surrounding me. I could see now that I was in a small clearing, only a few feet big. I turned around, ready to make a run for it. But as I did, I came face to face with a brown wolf. This one was closer than the others. And its eyes bore into mine, nothing was threatening about this wolf. It took a tentative step towards me, and I stepped back. It bowed its head and continued to approach me. But before I could move, its head snapped back up. It growled and snarled. The wolf took a step back. It wasn’t looking at me anymore, but something behind me. I didn’t have time to look before the wolf pounced. Jumping high above me. I screamed and ducked. And then, I was in my room.

I sat up in my bed, panting and sweating. My heart was beating so fast, I feared it would fly out of my mouth. I tried to slow my breathing, I wasn’t in the forest anymore. I was home. I was safe. It was a dream. A really weird dream. I fell back into my bed.

It was clear to me now that the brown wolf in my dream was Jacob. The reddish-brown fur, and the deep brown eyes I had known my whole life. But what did it mean? What was behind me? Why did he attack? Maybe it was just a weird dream, maybe it had no meaning. I assumed that the first wolf was Sam, it seemed a tad bit bigger than the others, and it just felt like it commanded authority. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I rolled over to my bedside table and grabbed at my phone, eventually, my hand made contact, and I turned it towards my face. I recoiled from the intensity of the phone's light, my eyes having been adjusted to the dark. I squinted, 2:45 a.m. Great. It’s not like I was going to school in the morning, not while I was healing. So I could just go back to sleep. But what if I had another weird dream? I could only handle so much weirdness at a time.

The door to my room slammed open, and I flinched at the sudden sound. My mother stood in the doorway, still clad in her nightclothes. She looked frantic, and her eyes studied me.

“What happened?! I heard you scream!” My mother yelled, breathless. I guess when I screamed in my nightmare, I must have actually screamed. That was kind of embarrassing.

“Oh sorry. I had a nightmare.” I looked at my hands, they were shaking still. My mother sighed a breath of relief, but when she looked back at me, she was concerned.

“Honey, what’s wrong? You still won't tell me why you were in the hospital, and now you’re having night terrors? Why can’t you just tell me?” Her voice started to waver, I knew I was hurting her by not telling her.

It pained her to see me like this, but since she didn’t even know what was wrong, she was unable to help me. I felt so bad. But I knew I couldn’t tell her, Sam had sworn me to secrecy, and I wouldn’t betray his trust. Or the pack.

I didn’t really know the boys too well, of course, I knew Embry and Quil, as they were Jacob's other best friends—I didn’t know if I was even considered his best friend anymore, it felt weird to call myself that. After… everything. So of course I knew them well enough. But after the whole shift, and then Bella's situation. We grew apart.

I blinked, snapping myself back to the present. I think I just made mom more concerned.

“It was a dog. I saw some stray dog and I was gonna give it some food, but it attacked me.” I lied, I had to make it up on the spot. She didn’t look convinced, but I’m sure I looked rough enough for her to leave it be. She sighed, and gently grabbed the door handle, contrasting to how she had slammed it just a few minutes before. She glanced at me, before shaking her head and leaving. I sighed, relaxing my shoulders and flopping onto my bed. I thought back to the pack. So many of them were so young, too young to be fighting vampires. I thought back to Embry and Quil. Quil still hadn’t shifted, but Sam told me that they knew he would soon. I thought about how much Embry had changed. I didn’t even really talk to him anymore, but any time I saw him he just seemed different. I glanced at my phone. I probably still had his number somewhere. Maybe I should call? I still had plenty more questions about the pack. Why did they cut their hair off? Why did they go through a growth spurt that drastic? Why was Jacob so mean now? I held my phone in my hand and hovered over the call button.

“Hello?” Embry’s distinct voice echoed through the silent room. I almost forgot what I was going to say, he was still so different, but he sounded the same as he did before shifting. Into a werewolf. The word felt wrong. Like it wasn’t the right way to describe them.

“Uh hey, Embry. I’m sorry did I wake you up?” I tried not to stutter over my words. I had completely forgotten what time it was. I felt bad for waking him.

“Oh hey [Y/N], no it’s fine I wasn’t asleep yet.” Embry’s voice picked up in volume. The tired tone from his voice had vanished, leaving the excited boy I was familiar with.

“I uh, just wanted to ask you a few questions.” It wasn’t like that’s the only reason I called, but it must have sounded like it. Because Embry sounded upset like he audibly deflated.

“Oh, yeah. Of course, uh go ahead.” His enthusiasm from before was lost.

“No! No! I wanted to talk to you too, I didn’t just call for that. It’s just that since I know about you guys now, I can really talk to you again.” I reassured him.

I could hear him perk up at that. “Oh! Of course! Well uh, what’d you wanna know?”

We talked for a long time, and he told me a lot more about the Quiluete boys. How their hair translated to how long their fur was, which seemed stupid to me. That their bodies had to rapidly grow to accommodate their new wolf abilities. But when I got to my third question, Embry stopped. He didn’t answer when I called his name. But in a few seconds, he shook out of it.

“Oh uh, well, Jake’s been going through a lot more hormones than the rest of us, and he… He uhm…” He stuttered over his words, it was painfully obvious that there was something he wanted to tell me. But something was stopping him. I’m getting pretty sick of people being all cryptic and keeping shit from me. “He’s just, well… I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.” I was quickly reminded of my conversation with Sam in the hospital.

“So who should I ask?” I was getting frustrated at this point, but I didn’t let it show through my tone. After all, it wasn’t Embry that I was upset with.

“I think you know the answer to that [Y/N].” Embry finished. Before I could say anything in retaliation, he said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. I glared at my phone as it flashed CALL ENDED across the screen. I resisted the urge to chuck my phone across the room in anger. Breaking your phone is counter-productive [Y/N]. I went back to my contacts, gazing at one familiar number. I shouldn’t call him so late.

Waiting overnight and thinking about what to say is probably the smart decision. But I didn't doubt that he would ignore my call anyways. At this point he probably had me blocked. I didn’t know if I should be mad at him for that or not. I was calling excessively, and that was bound to get annoying at some point. I thought about going back to his house, and waiting there for him to show up. But that didn’t go too well last time. But if I was calmer this time? My thoughts trailed off. I thought about every scenario possible. I thought about every possible way he could try and dodge my advances, and I thought of ways to make sure that he couldn’t run away from me. I don’t know when I managed to fall back asleep, but sooner than I thought I had drifted away. I was ready to face my problems. Tomorrow.

꧂☾✮☽꧁

“Come on, get your lazy butt up.” My mother barged into my room, ripping the blanket off of me and shaking my shoulders. I winced from the cold air hitting my newly exposed skin and tried to pry it away from her. “Wake up, you have a visitor.” That woke me up. My thoughts raced, was it Jake? Embry? Bella…

I heard a voice from the other room, “It’s okay Ms. (L/N), I could just come back later.”

Bella.

I sighed, slumping back down into my bed. I let my entire body go limp, hoping that I could somehow mold into the mattress and avoid all of my problems. But unfortunately, reality came like a harsh slap to the face.

“No, it’s fine hun! I’ll have them up in just a minute!” My mother called back, making a promise that I really didn’t want to keep.

I groaned into the pillow. My mother grabbed my shoulders again and started to pull. After a couple of seconds of pulling and tugging, I gave up and sat up fully.

“There you go. Now get dressed, we’ll be waiting in the living room.” My mother chirped and flitted to the doorway. “And fix your hair. You look like a mess.” She threw out one last comment on my appearance, shutting the door before I could respond. I sighed, did she expect me to wake up with perfect hair?

I shook off the last of my blankets and forced myself out of bed. I stumbled a bit, letting my legs get used to the feeling of walking again. I dragged myself around my room, grabbing whatever clothes I could find. To be honest, I was tempted to go out in my pajamas, was Bella really worth the trouble of getting dressed? I contemplated it for a minute, but I knew my mother would chew me out as soon as I stepped out of the door. I got dressed sloppily, not caring if I looked presentable or not. I ran my fingers through my hair, taming it as much as I could. I tied it back, hiding most of the mess. I didn’t bother with shoes.

I carefully opened the door, trying to refrain from making too much noise. I slowly shut the door and made my way down the hall on light feet. I rounded the corner into the living room, my mother's back was turned, but I had a clear view of Bella. She didn’t look too much better than me, but it was clear she had at least tried to hide it. Her hair was tied back, but the chunks that framed her face had escaped. Her eyes were dark, with deep bags hanging underneath. Her clothes were too big for her, hanging off of her small frame. I felt big just standing next to her. I felt like if I walked by her too fast she’d crumble. Her emotional state didn’t seem much better either. A small frown permanently occupied her light pink lips. Her eyebrows perpetually furrowed. I almost felt sorry for her.

It only took a moment for her to notice my presence, she looked up and gave a half-assed smile. I formed my lips into a tight line, I could be civil. But she was on my turf. It’s free range here. I smiled a little more at that thought. I made my way to the couch where my mother was sitting and plopped myself next to her.

She pushed me away slightly, “You’re sitting too close.” She murmured.

I made a show of scooting to the other end of the couch, exaggerating my movements as much as possible. She scoffed and looked back to Bella. Her expression brightened drastically as she looked at the girl across from us. Way to make it subtle Mom.

“So what brings you here Bella?” My mother chirped, she took a sip from her mug without breaking eye contact. Bella squirmed under my mother's intense gaze, fidgeting with her fingers and the hem of her jacket.

“Oh uh, I hope it’s not too much trouble but I’d really like to talk to [Y/N] alone.” She stuttered. She avoided eye contact with me entirely. I hoped that I was intimidating her.

My mother deflated as if she was hoping that Bella was here for her. No doubt I would get a lecture later, ‘You should be more like Bella! She’s so much better than you in every way blah blah blah’ etcetera etcetera. I rolled my eyes and shifted around.

My mother straightened again and smiled at Bella. “Oh of course honey! Why don’t you two go to [Y/N]’s room?” I snapped my head toward her, my room? It felt wrong to let Bella in there. As if she was trespassing into my domain like she was tainting my sacred grounds. I huffed, and my mother shot me a deadly glare. I winced and lowered my gaze. I held back a sigh as I pushed myself off the couch, gesturing for Bella to follow me. As soon as my back was turned, I grimaced. She shuffled behind me, watching her every step. Like she was afraid she’s break something if she stepped on the wrong floorboard. I rolled my eyes, knowing damn well I was the same way.

I shoved my door open and waved my arm in front of me in a ‘ladies first’ motion. She gave an awkward smile and walked in. When she was far enough into the room I walked in after her, shutting the door behind me. Every inch of my body was screaming. Screeching for me to shove her out, to get her out of my room. My brain itched and scratched, I wanted nothing more than to scream at her to leave. I smiled, at her and gestured toward the unmade bed.

“You can sit down.” I tried not to sound upset about it. Her sitting on my bed.

She glanced at the bed and hesitated. But she didn’t sit down. She continued to stand in the middle of the room. She bit her lip and blinked too many times.

“Oh, it won't take that long.” She started, “I just… wanted to talk to you about what-” she paused, “What happened.” I knew exactly what she was talking about. And I grimaced, taking a look at my arm. I chewed the inside of my mouth, debating my response.

“Oh yeah… That.” Wow. Absolutely amazing. 10/10 conversational skills [Y/N].

It was silent. Neither of us dared to say anything. Bella opened her mouth for a moment, presumably to say something, but she closed it just as quickly. I shuffled my feet, taking notice of the fact that I wasn’t wearing any socks. Kind of weird to have my feet out right now.

“It’s fine.” I blurted. “My arm I mean, it’s healing all right.” I clarified.

“That’s good. It was uh, pretty bad…” She trailed off, grimacing as she remembered that night. I thought about it too.

I felt tingles run down my arm as my skin remembered the feeling. The feeling of being torn open, the warm blood coating my skin and clothes. Lying on the wet ground with my former friend in front of me. My stomach lurched, and I resisted the urge to double over and empty my guts on Bella’s shoes. I shook my head, shaking the thought away.

“Yeah. But I’m getting better so.” I gave an awkward confirmation, was this all she came for? She could have just called or something.

“Um, [Y/N]... I dont mean to pry but…” Oh god, here we go.

“How are things with you and Jacob.” She asked shyly, shuffling her feet and picking at her fingernails.

I knew this question was coming. I guess it was only fair she wanted to know, but something in my gut told me that it wasn’t just innocent curiosity. I sighed, thinking about my answer for a moment.

“We haven’t spoken since then.” Putting it bluntly seemed like the best idea. I didn’t know if there was a way to sugarcoat it, but I didn’t bother to try anyways. Bella tried and failed, to hide her excitement. I guessed that was the answer she was hoping for. She tried her best to hide the way her back straightened, and her eyes lit up. But as always, Bella was a shit liar.

I gave an awkward smile.

“It’s fine though, I think it’s best to just give him some time before I reach out again.” I ignored the shiver that ran down my spine. I tried to ignore the way that she deflated a little. Maybe she was hoping that I would never speak to him again. She smiled and took one last look at me. Before she politely excused herself. Hopefully to leave my house altogether. As soon as the door was closed, I breathed a sigh of relief. And let myself fall back onto my bed, being careful not to land on my arm this time. I stared at the ceiling. I find myself in this position a lot huh? Whatever. Going back to sleep sounded really good.

꧂☾✮☽꧁

I was only aware of the events that took place in the next few days secondhand. And surprisingly, I made a new friend.

As usual, the sky was covered in a thick layer of clouds, creating a blanket over the trees. And the air was moist with the promise of rain. I walked briskly, I was completely out of snacks and that would just not fly. What was I supposed to eat? Real food? Absolutely not.

The posters covering the walls of my favorite convenience store brought a smile to my face. The door opened with a loud ding, alerting my presence to the man behind the counter. A sweet old man smiled at me through bushy eyebrows. His big handlebar mustache moved up with his smile.

“Hey, Mr. Barker!” I chirped, making a beeline for the snack aisle. As expected, it was recently stocked, and colorful plastic littered the shelves, drawing me in. What I wasn’t expecting, was Leah Clearwater standing in the middle of the small space. Right in front of my favorite chips. I paused, not wanting to alert her. I didn’t feel like getting on her bad side and getting my head bitten off today. But, as if she could sense me, her head turned quickly. Her beautiful dark hair was cut short, as were her sleeves and shorts. Her russet skin bore the same tattoo Jacob had. I had heard of her shifting recently, and of her father's death. I tried not to let the wave of pity I felt show on my face. I avoided her cold gaze and pretended to check out the other snacks. I would have to wait until she’d moved.

After a few seconds, a hand made its way into my view, holding my favorite kind of chips. I followed the arm upwards until I found the face of the owner. Leah held her hand out, without making eye contact.

“Here, you like these right?” Her voice was assertive like she wasn’t asking me. She was telling me.

I’m sure I looked really confused because my silence made her turn to look at me.

“Pack mind-reading. Jacob doesn’t keep much to himself.” She explained. I grimaced.

I was trying not to think about him. She must have noticed because her lips turned up just slightly.

“He still hasn’t told you huh?” She teased, but I could hear underlying sarcasm in her tone. She sounded upset about it.

“Oh god,” I rolled my eyes, “Not you too.” I groaned.

It took me a second to realize what I had said. And I slapped my hands over my mouth. I snatched the chips out of her hand and started to speed walk out of the aisle. But, to my surprise, Leah laughed. Not like the sarcastic one before, this one sounded genuine. It was a quiet, small laugh.

“I know what you mean kid,” I’m pretty sure I’m older than her. “I felt that way before I joined the pack.” She opened her mouth to say more but stopped herself. She peeked her head around the aisle to look at the old man behind the counter, and the various other shoppers. Mr. Barker was blissfully unaware of us, too occupied with his game of solitaire. She turned back to me and grinned for a split second, it threw me off for a second.

“Do you wanna talk about this at my house?” She gestured behind her with her thumb. Her face was unreadable again.

Oh.

OH.

I felt my heartbeat speed up, just a little. A pretty girl just invited me to her house. What do I do?! I felt my brain moving at lightning speed, trying to come up with a response that didn’t make me sound like a total dork. I prayed that I wasn’t sweating.

“Uh, sure!” I beamed. Nailed it.

She gave a small—noticeably strained— smile, I was sure that she saw through me without any trouble. But to be fair, she’s very intimidating. I mean, she could tear me in half like wet paper—the same went for all of the pack to be honest— and she’d look pretty doing it. I cleared my throat and tucked the chips under my arm. Being careful not to crush them. We went to pay for our stuff quickly, I’m sure the old man could sense my internal panic because he sent me the most heartwarming smile. Stupid old man and his silly mustache. I smiled back of course, before hurrying to meet Leah at the door.

She opened the door, stepping out into the cool air. The rain must have started when I went inside, it wasn’t pouring thankfully. I watched as Leah stepped out into the cold rain with no trouble as if it didn’t even phase her.

I suppressed a gasp as I watched, the water was evaporating as soon as it touched her skin, coming off as mist.

Incredible.

I guess I hadn’t paid much attention to how warm all the members of the pack were. Thinking back on it, I’m pretty sure Jacob did the same thing in the rain. The water had evaporated from his skin as soon as it had touched him. I hadn’t processed it then, with my mind being so preoccupied, I thought I was just seeing things.

I pried my eyes away from Leah. It was rude to stare. But as soon as I did, she laughed quietly to herself, before leading the way to her house. I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought.

The walk to her house was quiet, with nothing but the rain and the sound of cars filling the air. It was hard for me to tell if the silence was awkward or not. I couldn’t see her expression, as she was a few paces in front of me. Damn, she walked fast. She didn’t say anything for the duration of the walk, but thankfully it was short. We made our way up to the front door, she unlocked it quickly. It took a harsh shove for the door to open, it creaked loudly in protest. Leah groaned and held the door open for me. Waving her arm as a gesture for me to go in.

I was getting a lot of deja-vu from when Bella came over. I’m pretty sure I did the same thing. And just like Bella, I sheepishly made my way into the home. Taking in as much as I could, I watched my every step. Leah walked past me, and I followed her instinctively.

She led me to the living room, I repressed a sigh of relief. I didn’t know if I was ready to go into her room. That felt a little too personal. She gestured for me to take a spot on the couch next to her. I carefully sat down, feeling the couch creak a bit. She sighed, before turning to make eye contact with me. I resisted the urge to shy away from her intense gaze.

“So, Jake still hasn’t told you huh?” Leah started, “I guess it makes sense since he’s still got that obsession with the leech-lover.” Her tone was malicious, she didn’t try to hide her disdain for Jacob, and whoever the “leech-lover” was.

“Leech-lover?” I questioned, why would someone like leeches?

She paused and looked back at me. A sense of realization crossed her features, and she grinned.

“Bella, the vampire girl.” She explained. I nodded my head, humming in affirmation. I had almost forgotten about the fact that vampires existed too. And that Bella used to date one.

Wait. Vampires. Does that? Mean what I think?

“Wait, the Cullens were vampires. Did they… eat people?” My voice wavered at the thought, were they responsible for the unexplainable deaths in the area? How many people of Forks had they eaten?

Leah noticed my concern and shook her head.

“No, the Cullens were… vegetarians. They ate animals instead.” She said that like she didn’t believe it, as if it were blasphemy.

“Oh. Okay, that’s a relief.” I sighed, “So there aren’t vampires running ramped through the streets anymore?” I giggled. Leah’s eyes darted away from mine. Oh god.

“Well, not the streets.” She sounded very reluctant to say that. I felt the color drain from my face, my eyes widened, and my breath hitched. There were still vampires? That wasn't the Cullens. They weren’t vegetarian. Leah saw my face and quickly retracted her statement. “No! No! It’s just one and we’ve got her under control.”

“Under control? So what you’ve got her like locked in your basement or something?” I barked out a strained laugh, trying to deflect my anxiety with humor.

“No,” she laughed, before fixing her face to look stoic again. “We’ve managed to chase her off the border, but we can’t figure out what she wants.” So she wasn’t just trying to kill everyone in sight? Good. Great. Cool.

She inhaled and shook her head lightly, “But that’s not what I brought you here for.” She started.

I perked up at this. Finally, I’d get some damn answers. I was confident that Leah wouldn’t be as cryptic as the others. Her blunt nature gave me a sense of security. I knew she would tell me the truth.

“So, did Sam,” she paused at his name, but I didn’t question it. She cleared her throat and continued. “Did Sam ever tell you about imprinting?” She asked.

“Imprinting? Like that thing ducks do to their moms?” What did that have to do with me? The last time I checked they weren’t ducks.

“Sort of. But it’s kind of different in our case. So, well- I… ugh” She stuttered over her words for a moment, “How do I explain this?” She sat there for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Before she inhaled and started again.

“When we imprint, it’s like, the whole world stops. As soon as you set your eyes on your imprint, the world stops rotating for anyone else. They are the only thing that matters, you would do anything, be anything for them. It’s a kind of devotion like no other. And there’s no escaping it.”

She didn’t sound too happy about it, now and then her eyes would narrow. I really wanted to see what was going on in her head.

I was starting to connect the dots in my head, so did this mean Jacob imprinted? On who.

Bella. Of course. Obviously, it was Bella.

I barked a laugh, “Of course.” Leah looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

“Jacob imprinted on Bella!” I could faintly hear her groan, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to care. “He imprinted on Bella, but he’s mad she doesn’t like him back so he ended up taking it out on me! Ugh, it all makes sense now.” The way Bella clearly didn’t want me around Jacob, the way he’d always protect her, the fact that he wouldn’t stop pining over her even though she didn’t want him. Of course, it was so blatantly obvious to me now.

Leah sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose disappointedly. I was taken aback, was that not what happened? I glanced out the window, it was getting late. I sighed and picked up my stuff. I got up to leave but Leah stopped me.

“Hey wait, that’s not what happened.” She started, then who was it?

“Jacob didn’t imprint on Bella, he imprinted on-” She was cut off by a loud BANG.

We both whipped our heads to the door, where a young Seth Clearwater stood panting. He barged in frantically and started to shake Leah.

“Leah! We gotta go one of the Cullens is back and Bella’s gonna go to Italy and get them back and Jakes freaking out and, Oh hi [Y/N],” He stopped for a second to acknowledge my presence, but I was still trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

He opened his mouth to continue, but Leah held up a hand and got up from the couch.

“[Y/N], you go home. I’ll catch up with you later.” She ordered, I didn’t have time to say anything before she and Seth hurried out the back door. I jumped from the couch and watched as they ran into the forest, I could see clothes tearing, and fur sprouting. I marveled at the two new wolves, watching them in awe as they darted into the trees.

I grabbed my stuff and hurried out the front door. The rain wasn’t quite pouring, but it would be a pain to walk in. I hurried down the street, trying to avoid the puddles. They splashed violently against my shins, dampening my pants. I cursed but continued.

It took me a long longer than I liked to make it back to my house. I was regretting not just taking my car, but walking was good for me and I needed to save gas. Courtesy of my mother. I stomped to the front door, my wet shoes making small puddles on the porch. I fumbled with my keys, and hurriedly unlocked the door. The house was dark and noticeably empty. Mom’s car was gone, and all the lights were off.

I flicked on a few lights as I made my way inside, but as I set my keys down my eyes caught something.

A brown leather jacket was hanging on the coat rack, it was way too big to be my mom's. And I knew it wasn’t mine. My heart raced, my eyes widened, and my mouth fell agape. Someone was in my house.

I scanned the area around me before my eyes landed on the hallway closet.

Bat! We had a bat in there just in case, and mom called me paranoid. I opened the door as quietly as I could, grabbing the bat quickly. My cold hands wrapped around the hardwood tightly. My knuckles turned white with the death grip I had on the poor stick. I slowly made my way through the house, turning corners quickly, with the bat raised to swing.

I felt a presence behind me, I was sure whoever it was could hear my heart pounding, and my breath hitching. I felt a large hand touch my shoulder gently.

I whipped around and swung the bat with all my strength. It made a sound CRACK as it met its target.

“Hey! What was that for?” I recognized that voice. I knew that voice so well, it was the voice I was praying to hear for weeks.

“Jacob?!” My hands fumbled for the light switch, I squinted as I turned it on. But I was able to see the boy in front of me now. Lo and behold, Jacob stood in front of me, like a giant brick wall. But he didn’t look like Jacob. His eyes were darker, heavy bags hanging beneath them. His skin was de-saturated, giving him a sickly look. His hair was messy, and his clothes were raggedy. I stepped back a bit.

“Jake, what are you doing here? How did you get in my house?! Why were you just waiting with the lights off?!” This didn’t make any sense, he avoided me for weeks, and then shows up in my house all creepy? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand this boy. I untensed my shoulders, and sighed.

He looked away for a moment, he looked embarrassed. “You weren’t here, and I heard Leah say you were at her house so I thought I’d wait here for you. I didn’t think you’d let me in soaking wet.” Of course, Jacob knew where the spare key was. So he wouldn’t have had any trouble getting in without committing a crime. I sighed and looked him in the eyes.

The air was tense, we both just stood there for an uncomfortable amount of time. Neither of us knew what to say.

“I heard what you and Leah were talking about.” Jacob blurted. It caught me off guard before I remembered about their whole wolf telepathy. I huffed. I had so many things I wanted to say, but putting them into words was impossible. I thought of everything at once, before just meshing them all into one.

“Why?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so vague, but Jacob looked at me with a guilty expression. It was clear he understood, he knew exactly what I was asking without me even having to say it. I tried not to let it show, but I was trying not to cry. I thought of everything that happened the past few weeks, it felt like it had been years since I saw Jacob. Really saw him.

Within a month I had lost my best friend, fucked up my arm, had my perception of reality shattered, and now my long lost best friend broke into my house. And I still don’t know who he imprinted on.

I sighed and shook my head. “Why did you cut me off, Jacob? What did I do? Was it something I said? Or did I make you upset? Whatever I did I’m sorry-” I started to ramble, I couldn’t even look at him as I choked the words out of my mouth. I had told myself I was ready for this confrontation, but just thinking about it made my eyes swell with tears. I tried not to let my breath hitch.

Jacob looked guilty again, grimacing and looking down. When he looked back at me, he sighed. He held my face gently and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“[Y/N] I’m sorry please dont cry.” It was clear he didn’t know how to comfort me, but he was trying his best. I pushed his hands away harshly and wiped my face with my sleeves.

“I’m not crying, you’re crying.” I hid my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I heard him huff and take a step back. When I was ready, I made eye contact again. I didn’t care if I looked like a trainwreck. My hair was frizzy and messy from the rain, my eyes were now puffy from the tears, and I could only assume the bags under my eyes were prominent.

“Well? Are you going to answer?” I demanded, I don’t think it was wrong of me to want some damn answers.

He grimaced, and looked away. His eyebrows furrowed, scrunching together in thought. I watched the way his eyes darted around for a second, I analyzed his every move to try and figure out what would come next. I was waiting for the bad news, for some terrible fate to come crashing down on me. I was waiting for him to look me in the eye and tell me he hated me.

His gaze hardened, and his eyebrows scrunched up. The way they moved seemed harsher this time, more hostile.

“I had no other choice. I won't get you wrapped up in this.” His voice was firm, unwavering. His eyes were dark, completely unreadable. I felt them burn into my skin even as I looked away.

“It’s a little late for that Jake.” I mumbled. His huffed, and I saw his jaw tense. His upper lip curled up slightly, in a menacing snarl.

It was frightening.

I told myself I wasn’t going to be afraid of him. He didn’t hurt me on purpose, I just happened to be standing too close.

But as the boy in front of me shook again, I shook too. My heart pounded against my ribs, I pulled air into my lungs violently. My lungs burned from the force of my breaths. My eyes widened, and I took a tentative step back. I tried my best to hold a tough exterior. But it was obvious how easily Jacob saw through me.

He stopped, and blinked. His cold exterior fell for a second, showing the warm, sweet boy I knew before.

But as soon as it was dropped, he caught himself. I blinked and it was back, sending a shiver down my spine. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, holding his breath for a few seconds.

He let out a long exhale, and opened his eyes again. His calm and cool mask was back, no doubt hiding the anger I knew he was feeling.

But he deserved to be upset, after all that transpired. I failed to see where I could have possibly been wrong. What I could have possibly done to piss him off this much.

“I came to say goodbye.” He spoke, his voice didn’t waver for a second. His eyes didn’t move from mine, his unrelenting gaze intimidated me.

“What? Wait why are you leaving?” I asked, I didn’t try to hide my emotions this time. I was baffled, he’s leaving again?

“I just… have to. I’m sorry but this is the way it has to be.” My fat fucking ass it is.

“No it’s not, Jacob stop trying to run away from your problems!” I shouted, “What did I do to you? Why are you doing this to me?” I was frantic now, raising my voice at him.

“Goodbye.” He gave a curt nod, and turned around, making his way to the front door. I tried to grab at his shoulder to stop him but it was no use. He pushed forward, completely unaffected by my feeble attempts to hold him back.

He didn’t so much as glance at me as he opened the door, it gave a loud creek in response to being ripped open so suddenly.

I watched as he walked down the front steps of my porch, into the pouring rain.

I was vividly reminded of the first time he did this to me.

The first time Jacob had ripped my heart out of my chest, crushing it beneath his big stupid feet.

I stood in silence.

Not this time. I wouldn’t chase after him this time.

#jacob black #the twilight saga #angst no comfort #jacob black x reader #bisexual panic #mommy issues #jake is being an ass #originally posted on ao3

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hope-to-hell · 2 months

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The bedbug. Originally posted on ao3 waaaaay back in 2020. August Walker x Reader. Smut, noncon, blood, gore, dead dove do not eat, knives, restraints. August learns about the mating habits of bedbugs. He’s going to have a great time, but you? Not so much.

———

He comes out of a Wikipedia black hole with a brilliant fucking idea. Fucking brilliant? Either way it’s the same and it starts with knives and ends with his seed spattered in the ruins of your abdominal cavity.

And it’s just, he looks at you where you’re tied down, spread open and still sticky; he looks from the knife in his hand to his dick to your belly and back the other way. Lines the blade up alongside himself and sighs, twitches, the jerk and pulse of blood reflected in the knife. It’s sharp, so fucking sharp; he cares so for his toys. And he’ll care for you as well, if you survive this. Might not, though. It’s a process.

He’s working out the logistics, you can see it; he tells you all about the bedbug and its penis, how it stabs straight into its mate’s belly. And he can do some real damage with his, he has in fact; he’s left you bruised and bloody, left you aching, but even this is beyond him. For all his awful hardness, he still can’t stab into you. Not really. Hence the knife.

He holds himself parallel to the blade, presses himself right up along the flat of it and lucky for him, he’s big but the blade is bigger. And there’s fear coiling in your gut because he’s serious, he’s really fucking serious about this. He presses the tip of the knife to your belly, walks it just a little farther past the end of his cock, a little dead space between penetration and fucking.

He’s got a two-handed grip, keeping himself absolutely steady along the flat of the blade, guiding the entire fiendish apparatus to the softness inside your hipbone. The fourth and fifth fingers of his right hand come up to steady himself against your skin, considering. And then he shifts to a sharp and sudden angle and stabs inside.

The first thrust is sharp agony, and he cannot quite get inside that slender slit left by the end of the knife so he withdraws, shifts a little, cock pulsing in time to your screams. He adjusts the angle and tries again, making a line that intersects the first cut and now he’s inside you, now his hands are slippery with blood where they hold his cock against the knife, where his fingertips too disappear into the wound.

His hands slip; the knife twists wetly in his grip and he nearly loses his cock to it but lucky for him it’s only you who’s cut, the wound growing wider and more ragged by the moment. And he throws the knife away because he is wanton but he is not stupid; now he plants one hand on your belly and the other wraps around himself to line up, to guide himself back into the meaty mess of you.

And he is silent, so perfectly silent, teeth bared and eyes narrowed, not watching the twist of agony on your face even though he loves it so; he’s watching himself disappear inside you by inches, smearing blood all around the hole, leaving handprints and cock prints and unidentifiable smears all over your skin. He’s torn something inside, whatever keeps your organs in their proper places, and he has the freedom to slide slickly wherever he pleases. He goes shallow to see the outline of himself through your skin; he curls over you and thrusts deeply to feel your guts part around him. And all the while your kittenish moans and mewls are weak and growing weaker; they fuel him to drive in harder with every decrease in your own strength.

And you can’t feel it when he comes, there’s just too much other sensation between the tearing and cold-burning pain and the plain and pure fear of it, but you can’t miss the way he stills all of a sudden. You can’t miss the drips and spatters that fall back into the hole when he withdraws, or the self-satisfied look on his face as he sits back on his heels to watch you live or die. It’s much the same to him.

#henry cavill #august walker #august walker x reader #august walker x you #august walker fic #august walker smut #gore #sex and blood #dead dove do not eat #originally posted on ao3 #eons ago

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dinogoose · 2 years

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but this is getting good now

“Bucky… Psst… Wake up…” small hands are currently shaking him back and forth, jostling him awake. He immediately knows it’s Christopher, and despite being woken up so early, he warms with pure happiness.

He cracks an eye open, “What’s up buddy? Is something wrong?” Chris sits down on the edge of the couch, nestling into his warmth.

“…My leg hurts.” Hearing the way his voice trembles in pain causes Buck’s heart to crack. He wishes he could take any and all hurt away from Christopher.

(or, buck and christopher stretch, then make pancakes. eddie is in love.)

He cracks an eye open, “What’s up buddy? Is something wrong?” Chris sits down on the edge of the couch, nestling into his warmth.

“…My leg hurts.” Hearing the way his voice trembles in pain causes Buck’s heart to crack. He wishes he could take any and all hurt away from Christopher.

Another part of him is glad Chris is coming to him about this. Buck had told him he was always going to be there for him, and he meant it. Buck would do anything for Chris.

“Okay. Sometimes my leg hurts too, the doctors told me the best thing to do is to stretch it out.” He turns to the boy meeting his eyes. “Do you want to do some stretches with me?”

Chris looks down at his hands before looking up, his eyes crinkled with sleep, his movements a little shy, then he nods.

Buck smiles, untangling himself from the couch that has been trying to swallow him whole all night. Standing up, his legs giving a loud pop! Chris giggles at the noise, some of his anxieties seeping out.

It’s never wrecking asking for help, but Buck wants to make it clear to Chris that he always can. No matter the time or reason. Buck’s there for him.

“Alright kid, I’m gonna move this table over, giving us more room to really loosen our bodies!” Buck wiggles around as he’s saying this, drawing peels of laughter from Chris.

He’s now aware that it's roughly five-thirty, and Eddie is still asleep after their long shift, so he carefully moves over to Christopher, pressing a finger to his own lips.

“Let’s play a game, whoever can do the stretches the quietest, gets ice cream today.” Chris mulls this over, stroking his chin in thought.

“Two scoops.” Buck opens his mouth to respond, “In a cone.” Buck loves the kid to death, but give him an ice cream cone and he becomes a monster of destruction. Buck chuckles, extending a hand out.

“You drive a hard bargain. Deal.” They shake on it, causing Christoper to laugh again, but Buck presses a finger to his lips and Christopher nods, understanding the game they are now playing.

Buck slides the coffee table over, mindful of his noise.

He sits down on the floor, patting the spot next to him. Christopher sits next to him.

They begin the list of stretches Christopher’s physical therapist gave to him. Hamstrings, wrists, his heel cord, quadriceps.

Buck does each of them with him, coaching Christopher through them, easing any pain or discomfort he has.

By the end of it, they’re both hungry, but feeling much better.

“I think that earned us pancakes.” Buck announces getting up. Chris reaches out a hand, allowing Buck to help him up.

“Thanks B-Buck. I feel super strong now!” Buck smirks at him, ruffling his hair.

“You’re the strongest person I know, Superman.” It’s the truest thing Buck has ever said. This kid is incredible, and Buck’s just lucky he met him at all.

“Come on Bucky, I’m hungry!” He whines, and Buck just laughs trotting into the kitchen.

He’s very comfortable in the Diaz’ home, especially the kitchen. It’s more his than Eddie’s these days.

He gets all his ingredients out as his Sous Chef bullies him for being slow. He’s whisking the batter, when footsteps pitter-patter behind him.

“Sleeping beauty is awake!” Buck exclaims, not even turning around. Christopher throws his head back in laughter earning the reaction Buck was hoping for.

The man behind him makes an offended noise as he steps closer.

“Why do you two have so much energy this morning?” Eddie rasps out, voice deep in a way that gives Buck butterflies.

“My leg hurt so me and Buck did stretches!” Chris tells his dad, kicking his feet from his spot on the counter.

“I’m glad you did your stretches, are you feeling better now mijo?” Worry bleeds into his words, a father caring for his son.

“Yeah! We’re gonna get ice cream!” Buck just knows Eddie raises his eyebrows at that. He can practically feel the burn of his stare.

“Are we now?” Chris rolls his eyes from beside Buck, making him laugh.

“Yes.” And that’s that. They’re getting ice cream.

“Sorry Eds. You know how it is.” Buck tells him, finally turning around.

Eddie’s gaze is way too intense for seven in the morning. Buck has to look away before it melts him.

“Yeah. I do.” Eddie says. The words whispered out- a confession. Buck feels wrong-footed, like he’s missing a major part of this conversation. And from the way Eddie is looking at him he’s sure he is. Maybe he blacked out.

“Eddie, can you set the table?” Buck asks, turning around again, facing the stove, escaping Eddie’s eyes.

***

He finishes cooking and they enjoy laughter and pancakes, before Chris has to get ready for school.

Buck cleans while Eddie rallies the boy into the car.

It’s incredibly domestic. Maybe Buck is getting too comfortable, falling into the ‘ready-made family’ thing that Eddie was so terrified of.

Buck should take a step back. He doesn’t want to hurt Eddie by overstepping. By being too needy.

He sighs, scrubbing away at the pan. He always hand washes the non-stick pans, believing it helps them last longer. Buck wants to give them that extra care. Plus doing the dishes has always soothed Buck.

The repetitive motions, the warm water, the feeling of success when you finally finish.

He’s so focused on his task he doesn’t hear the door open. Or the sound of Eddie toeing-off his shoes. Doesn’t even acknowledge the man until he’s sliding up behind him, breath fanning Buck’s neck.

Buck shivers, setting the pan down. He steps to the side- not wanting to give himself the chance to do something stupid.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, head tilted. None the wiser to Buck’s panic.

“Nothing. I should go, I’ve been overstaying my welcome.” Buck doesn’t want to suffocate Eddie. Exhaust the man just by being him.

“Overstaying? Buck you could never ‘overstay’. You’re always welcome here.” Eddie steps closer, hand placed on Buck’s shoulder, giving the blond a strange sense of deja-vu.

His eyes are intense again, reflecting the same emotions they were earlier. Buck still doesn’t know what to make of that.

“Thanks Eddie- it’s fine, I should leave already.” He tries to back away, but Eddie’s hand remains firm, holding him down.

“Buck. I want you to stay.” Buck’s eyes scour his face for any sign of a lie. He finds none.

“Okay.” Buck thinks there’s a lot more to this talk then just him saying, and when Eddie leans forward Buck knows he's right.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Eddie tells him, face inches from Buck’s.

“Okay.”

Eddie cups Buck’s jaw before leaning in, head tilted to get the best angle. When their lips finally meet, it’s perfect.

Buck has imagined this moment a million times- although the real thing is greater than anything he could’ve ever thought up.

It’s fiery, it’s soft, it’s emotional, it’s love.

Love has always felt like, Eddie bumping shoulders with him. Smelled like aftershave and pine. Looked like brown eyes and brown hair. Tastes like pancakes in the morning.

Eddie backs up, not going far, just resting his forehead on Buck’s.

“You got up and did stretches with my- our kid this morning.” Eddie whispers, his voice reverent. Buck blinks.

“..yeah?” This makes Eddie laugh, tickling Buck’s face.

“Then you made us breakfast.” Buck is getting a little concerned.

“Yes. Are you okay?” Eddie laughs again, the sound bright.

“Yes. God- yes. I love you.”

Oh.

“I love you too.” Has it always been this easy?

Eddie just leans in for another kiss, just a soft press of his lips to Buck’s.

“And I forgive you for promising Chris two scoops on a school night.” Eddie says right against his mouth.

Buck has never been happier.

(I quit whumptober. sorry. I’m never going to change. :])

#buddie fic #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #911 show #911 fox #911 fic #911 fanfic #tv: 911 #buddie 911 #buck x eddie #originally posted on ao3

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steam-powered-chaos · 4 months

Text

SPG Villain Au (Chapter 2)

I’m almost there… Im almost out- did this place get… bigger?” Violet kept running, the exit getting closer and closer before their ankles were grabbed and they were dragged down back into the workshop through a portal. Violet’s head hit the stone floor with a crack and they fell silent, passed out on the cold, hard floor.

They slowly blinked awake, hissing in pain as they moved their arm, which felt heavier, as they are around at the room they were in now. A small collection of hats were hanging up on one wall, what looked to be blood and a corpse hanging in another corner. Violet shuddered, sitting up and taking note of the reinforced, but still soft, bed, slowly standing up. Maybe it was all just a bad dream… They leant their head against the door, listening to the hushed voices outside.

“Spiiine made a mistake!” The Puppeteer teased his companion, The Spine growling at him in frustration. Violet ducked away as he prowled past the door, slamming it, which narrowly missed Violet’s fingers. They leant against the door again, their arm lowered. “It was not a mistake! It was… a calculated error! Very different things.” The Spine protested, and Violet couldn’t help but let out a feeble giggle at his attempt to defend himself. He spun on his heel, and Violet ran back into the bed, pretending to sleep. The door slowly opened,The Spine sticking his head inside to stare at their seemingly sleeping form, before going back to his conversation.

Violet froze as hands gently reached down to touch their cheek, starting to violently tremble in terror. They couldn’t help it anymore, they shoved whoever was touching them away, staring into those deep, staring blue eyes in fear and running. They blasted past The Spine, narrowly avoiding his attempts to grab them, darting and weaving past the other robots as loud, metallic footsteps thundered after them.

The chase was on. And as Violet ducked around a corner, they started to step back, as the copper automaton slowly walked towards them, her hands outstretched to grab them. Their lip trembled as they turned and ran, just as she closed in to grab them, managing to slip away from her at the last second.

”Wait! W-w-we aren’t gonna hurtcha! Co-come back!” Violet snorted, shaking their head in disbelief. They had seen firsthand what those bots, what those monsters could do, and had done. They weren’t looking where they were going, running headfirst into another automaton, this one being gold and silver. He scooped them up, surprisingly gently, and slung them back over his shoulder, carrying them back to that room, where Spine and a bronze robot where arguing.

”Hatchy, you promised that if we were to let them stay in your room whilst they recovered you would keep them from escaping!” The Spine hissed at Hatchworth, who gave him an uncharacteristically fierce glare in response. Violet squirmed and grumbled, the automaton holding them gently setting them down and pushing them to sit down on a chair, flinching as their arm was jostled. They glared up at The Spine as he gave them a cold, but gentle look, and he walked closer. “Thank you for retrieving our… newest occupant Zer0, very much appreciated,” Zer0 beamed at him, “Now- oh stop struggling, you’ll just hurt yourself more- do you know why you’re here and still alive?” The silver automaton asked, and Violet spat in his face with a shake of their head

He wiped the spit off his jacket, scowling and let Hatchworth step forward. The copper automaton from earlier and Zer0 shared a mischievous grin with each other, and Violet couldn’t help but feel the corner of their lip curl up slightly. Only a little of course. Their legs tensed slightly, ready to bolt as soon as they could, waiting patiently for just the right moment and taking in their surroundings as the bronze automaton explained.

”Well you see… we don’t have many rules here, apart from listen to The Spine, but we… well we- we don’t harm children.” Violet’s eyes widened as they let out an indignant hiss of outrage. “What? I’m not a kid!” They snapped, and he moved back. “You’re… sixteeen correct?” Violet nodded slowly. “Then you’re a child. And you know far too much for us to let you go, so I’m afraid… you’ll have to stay here.” Hatchworth didn’t dare look at them as realisation dawned on Violet’s face.

”You…What?!”

#spg fanfic #fanfiction #Spg villain au #Originally posted on ao3

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simperoniandcheese · 1 month

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this one is nsfw. read at the risk of your own sanity lmao

enjoy : D

#mine #tj x cora #the good cop #ao3 fanfic #tj caruso #cora vasquez #oh boy here we go #rating: e #originally posted on ao3

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rarastmblr · 8 months

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Garam and Nari both have a taste of (Name)'s cooking for the first time. Nari doesn't know what to say.

(Male!reader)

When Nari had waited for her dear friend, (Name), to finally finish cooking she expected to have a whole buffet on the table. The image of cakes and overall other desserts we're already making Nari drool.

In fact, Nari was even able to vividly imagine herself stuffing the delicious food in her mouth with some crumbs left on her cheeks as she tries to eat them all up quickly in fear of Garam eating the ones she likes.

You can't blame her for expecting SS class food, (Name) was an amazing person, Not like Nari would admit that though. He was skilled with his fighting techniques and to top it off, he was rather attractive. Surely his cooking would match with that too right?

To be honest, Nari was actually quite sure she made a fool of herself for thinking that. Seriously, was this dish in front of her even edible? Nari could feel herself turning blue just by looking at it's appearance.

Okay, okay, that might have been an exaggeration.

Garam didn't seem to mind the appearance of the dish, rather, he was smelling the aroma of it. To him, the smell was new. It was unfamiliar but he concluded that it was to be expected since (Name) is someone who spends more time surrounded with humans. This must be a new recipe of some sort.

Garam eagerly took in more of the aroma of the dish his friend had prepared for him and Nari; a fragrant smell he had never experienced before. His lips curved into a wide smile as he put his fork into the food in front of him, and before he knew it, he had taken a bite-- almost forgetting that he had yet to ask (Name) what the dish consisted of.

As soon as he tasted it, his smile faltered ever so slightly; it was undoubtedly the strangest thing Garam had ever placed in his mouth, and truth be told, it wasn't particularly pleasant. The ingredients featured in the dish included some unknown combination of mushrooms, a few questionable vegetables, and a mysterious green substance that neither Garam nor Nari could identify.

"Uh.." Nari hesitantly gripped her fork as she looked at the food in front of her. Should she also eat this? Perhaps it was better if she didn't but she also didn't want to make (Name) upset. Wait, since when did she care so much for him!?

After several lengthy moments of contemplation, Garam had finally recovered from the first taste of (Name)'s cooking.

"It's.. not one of my favorites." Garam admitted, (Name) didn't seem to care too much about his opinion. Despite Garam's words, he decided to take a bite again, much to Nari's surprise.

A few moments later and it was just Nari staring weirdly at Garam as he was about to finish the last bite of the food.

Was Garam okay? Did Dallae's death that happened years ago take a toll on him that much to the point that he would even decide to finish this horrid-looking food just so he could catch a glimpse of that child again?

Garam took the last bite, savoring it as if it were the world's finest delicacy. After he had finished, Garam turned to look at (Name) who was seated beside him.

"Thank you for making this." Garam said, his voice melodious and sincere. Didn't he literally just say that the cooking wasn't one of his favorites? To Nari, Garam will always be a mystery.

"You‘re welcome," (Name) said as he proudly grinned. "It‘s no problem at all."

Garam and (Name) exchanged a look that Nari couldn‘t quite understand. She felt as if she was intruding in a private moment, so she decided to give them their space and try the food for herself.

"Garam," (Name) called out. "If you ever get hungry again, you know where to find me!"

"I'll.. keep that in mind."

(Meanwhile, Nari is planning to have (Name) try to get cooking lessons from the innkeeper in heavenhold).

"Hey Garam," (Name) called out to the Nine-Tailed Fox again, the both of them shared a similar expression, "You can't help yourself huh? You finished the food so quickly!" (Name) teased as they scooted closer to Garam.

Garam softly smiled and let out a hum, already used to (Name)'s teasing. Nari huffed out and told (Name) to stop bothering Garam, making the said male whine and complain to Nari that he wasn't bothering Garam at all.

#guardian tales #guardiantalesgaram #guardiantalesnari #originally posted on ao3 #guardian tales brainrot #I am in love with Garam #guardiantalesxmalereader #Garamxreader #Narixreader #platonic or romantic #ガーディアンテイルズ #가디언테일즈 #GaramKnight

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wizardmaster94 · 7 months

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Hard To Grasp Without My Webs Ch. 1 'before the bite'

Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, Regulus Black/James Potter, and other background relationships (Spider-Man AU)

Summary: Remus had a good life, a fantastic life actually, until he was bitten by a radioactive spider. Ever since then he had to lie to his family and his friends about almost everything, saving the entire city of London didn't come without a cost. A very heavy cost at that. He'd do anything to turn back the clock and stop himself from being bitten but there was nothing he could do but learn to accept his double life and still try to hold onto his life outside of the mask. Remus was never very good at juggling.

Word Count: 3k

Note: idk if shari's exists outside of washington but it is basically like denny's!!! also, i start my fall classes literally in like 7 hours so idk how often i will be able to update sorry :[

Warnings: none in this chapter

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Remus sighed as he chewed on one of his many pens, his leg bouncing out of anticipation. Nervousness ran through every single of him of systems, giving him the false sense of wanting to throw up all over the place. The nerves weren’t for himself, for once, usually they were but not this time. They were for his best friend, in the entire world mind you, Mary. She was in the middle of a very important meeting with the Dean of the school, Dumbledore, discussing her future plans after she’s finished here. Mary always dreamed of getting into a high-end University but the chance of getting in on an essay and submissions of her work alone was very slim so she needed the help from as many people she could possibly get. The Dean seemed like a good choice, and that was the matter they were speaking about at the current moment. They attended a quite fancy private school called Hogwarts, it was for particularly gifted students, mainly in the arts or sciences, though they had quite the impressive rugby team that swept the floor with all the other ones in the area. Many students ended up going to an arts University, which was Mary’s dream to do one day.

It had been over 10 minutes before Mary quietly stepped out of the office, a slight frown o her face as she hung her head. Remus immediately knew what had happened and he sprung to his feet, wrapping his arms around Mary tightly to comfort her. She let out a small and quiet sigh before pulling out of his grasp and pushing her hair back with her hand. Suddenly she wasn’t frowning anymore but rather- she was laughing. Remus was confused, she looked like she was on the verge of tears just a moment ago and now she was grinning and holding onto Remus for support from how much she was laughing. “Oh, Remus- how I love you!” She managed to speak between giggles.

“Sorry- I tried to pretend like things went bad but you’re just too adorable and sweet! Remus,” Mary suddenly placed her hands on Remus’s upper arms, who was still very confused at the moment. “I got an interview with them!”

Suddenly it clicked in Remus’s mind, and he too sported a wide and manic grin as he wrapped his arms around his best friend once more, picking her up and spinning her in circles. “That’s fantastic, Mary! I’m so happy for you,” he set her down gently. “We have to go tell everyone the good news!” He beamed.

Mary nodded enthusiastically before letting her feet touch the ground again and followed Remus to the cafeteria where all of their friends certainly had to be. Remus practically buzzed with excitement, but Mary was radiating it, even causing a few random students to smile as they saw how happy she was, it was so contagious. The two quickly made their way to their usual table inside, pushed far into the corner of the cafeteria so the group could gossip without the fear of the said ‘gossip’ didn’t overhear. All of their friends looked up, they’d all been impatient to hear the news already, but now they were squirming in their seats as they waited for Mary to spill the obviously good news.

Their friend group consisted of Remus and Mary themselves, they’d been friends since forever it felt like, growing up right next door to each other since they were born, the two quickly formed a bond like no other, platonic soulmates if you will. Then there was also Lily, who was one of the prettiest girls you could ever have the pleasure of seeing with your own eyes. She was sweet as can be, but also rightfully downright terrifying when she needed to be and her and Mary made the best couple in the history of the entire world, at least to Remus. Marlene was someone he was quite close to as well, though they didn’t get to hang out often due to her being in such an important position of the rugby team, always out at practice it seemed like these days. And of course, there was James and Peter, they grew up next door to each other just like Remus and Mary did, the two got along great, practically the same person just in different fonts and one was in big bold letters while the other was a calm and soothing italics. Then there was Sirius, Sirius Black, the boy Remus was so madly infatuated with since the day they met. He too was childhood friend with James and Peter, but they didn’t meet until the three of them were all around 7 years old and were superglued at the hip ever since.

But Remus met Sirius when he was 13 and couldn’t get him out of his head ever since that day in English and he walked in with James and Peter, laughing and smiling that gorgeous smile he’d grown to love so much. He knew then that it would be his life’s mission to make Sirius smile and laugh like that until he died, thinking of that beautiful sound and face as he did. Of course, Sirius didn’t know this. No way would Remus ever dare to confess his feelings, he knew how it would go. He’d confess and then he’d hear that perfect laugh, but not out of shock, but out of disgust and horror that Remus would ever think he’d have a shot with Sirius.

Remus wouldn’t dare ruin what they had, he’d rather have him as a best friend then to not have him in his life at all. So, that was the way it was going to be, and he tried to make peace with it, but every time that laugh rang through his ears the peace would get disrupted more and more. Remus tried to not think about it too hard these days.

“So?! How did it go?!” Sirius beamed, almost standing up fully from his seat from excitement.

Mary chuckled and smiled before doing a little jump while laughing. “I got an interview!”

Everyone immediately started smiling, clapping, and cheering for their friend, they knew how much she wanted this and knew how much she deserved it out of all of them at the table. It caught the attention of a few nearby tables, but they all shrugged it off, this was usual behavior from them. “Congrats, Mary!” Peter smiled.

Lily got up and wrapped her arms around Mary, pressing a kiss to her cheek and leaving a faint red lipstick kiss on her cheek. “I’m so happy and proud of you, sweetheart! That’s amazing,’’ Lily looked like she was on the verge of tears out of happiness for her girlfriend.

Sure, an interview sounded like nothing, but that meant they read her essay and looked at her designs she submitted, and they liked her creations enough that they wanted one final check before accepting her into the school. Mary was attending a fashion school to be a designer; she was aiming for this goal since she was 3 years old and she got her first Barbie doll and went to work making her dresses from colored paper and markers. Remus vowed to be her personal photographer at every runway show she had, that’s what got him into being a photographer actually, that was the reason he attended Hogwarts, also because he was one of the brightest minds at the school when it came down to science.

Everyone congratulated Mary until lunch was over, but even then, they didn’t even really stop there. “It’s Friday, why don’t we all go out tonight to celebrate? We can go to Sheri’s; it’s been far too long since we last all went together.” Peter suggested, mouth almost watering at the thought.

“Mate, we were there just last month before school started back up.” James laughed, wrapping an arm around Peter.

“No, he’s right, James. That wasn’t all of us, Marlene has that rugby meeting, remember? So actually, it’s been around 3 months since it was all of us.” Remus added matter-of-factly.

“That’s right! Yeah- Merlin, that meeting was so useless. Me and Dorcas were the only ones who showed up and coach still made us stay and then, made us sit through all the information a week later for all those who missed it!” Marlene huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“At least you got some time with Dorcas, eye?” Sirius giggled and wiggled his eyebrows, nudging Marlene with his elbow.

He was met with a glare that sent shivers down his spine, if looks could kill, he’d already have a tombstone planted in the ground above him. Everyone knew how badly the two girls wanted each other, except the two girls themselves of course. They’d been rivals for many years now, even though they were always on the same team every time, no matter what sport either did. Plus, they would never stop talking about each other to their own respective friends, always ‘her and her stupid legs! I mean- who needs that much leg? It’s unfair, that’s what it is!’ that, and ‘her hair is so long and flowing through the wind when we play, it’s so distracting’ that. No one spoke for a few moments, all of them remembering the time they felt like they just died at the hands of Marlene’s cold stare. Soon after though, it was settled then that they’d all get picked up by James with his mum’s car around 6 that evening, he was the only one with access to a car that could hold all of them. It was a mini-van, and even though James didn’t have any biological siblings, she still got it because of just how many friends James had. Plus, someone had to haul around the junior football team to games every weekend.

***

Around 7 o’clock was when the group of them showed up at their beloved favorite restaurant, a heap of giggles falling out of the car doors and through the entrance, not stopping until a waitress walked up to them and started asking what they’d like to drink. She was quite gorgeous, her dark tan skin and long white dreads reaching her hips, decorated with cute beads and other charms, matching the few silver piercings in her face. “Good evening, my name’s Pandora and I’ll be your server this evening. May I get you lot started on anything to drink?” Her voice was soft and calming.

Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed; he knew this girl, but it wasn’t quite clicking. “Pandora…” He mumbled to himself before his eyes went wide.

“Pandora! You go to Hogwarts, right? You and Reg are mates,” Sirius snapped his fingers together as if he just solved some huge mystery.

Remus placed his hand over his mouth to hide his slowly growing smile, he couldn’t control it! Anything Sirius did sent butterflies to his stomach, even when he was behaving like this. “Mhm,” Pandora hummed before snickering a bit. “Since we were 11, I was just over last weekend, Sirius.”

Sirius flushed as he suddenly remembered. “Oh- well, uh…yeah no, I don’t have any excuses for that other than I might actually be part goldfish.”

Everyone at their table and Pandora laughed at this, even Sirius, though he was mainly laughing out of embarrassment. “Oh, Sirius, it’s a good thing you’re gorgeous.” Marlene giggled, patting his hand from across the booth.

That’s how their evenings usually went when they all hung out, they’d laugh, smile, poke fun at each other, and just everything and anything else they could think of. These nights were what they all always looked forwards to, especially after being so stressed with school starting back up a month ago and just dealing with annoying classmates, they needed this. They didn’t leave until past 09 o’clock but no one wanted the night to end quite yet, it was Friday, what did they have to lose? “I reckon we go to the park, maybe play on the playground! I doubt there is any little kids hogging the swings like usual,” Mary suggested as they all climbed into James’ mum’s car.

“I’d pay to see Remus ride the rocker!” Sirius laughed, already enjoying the mental image.

“Oh, come on, those thigs are made for toddlers! I’ll bend it half backwards if I get on it,” Remus whined, really not feeling like causing destruction to a playground tonight. “Make Lily do it!”

“Hey! Who said you could volunteer me?” She barked before going back to her phone, taking pictures as they drove so she could add them to her story later.

“Oh, come on…it’ll be funny! You’re literally a giant, come on,” Sirius dragged out the ‘n’ both times as he nudged Remus with his shoulder, giving him the puppy dog eyes.

Unable to resist Sirius a second time, he just sighed and gave in, instantly feeling grateful for the choice as Sirius beamed and whispered a little ‘yes’ under his breath excitedly. He didn’t get why Sirius wanted to see him on the rocker so bad, but if it made his best friend happy, then so be it. Thinking about it, Remus would probably do anything Sirius asked him to do if it meant even making him happy for just a split second. Remus would do it without hesitation. Unless it was getting on the rusted, old, child sized rocker on the even more ancient and probably haunted-ass playground. Remus would probably aways hesitate to that if he is ever asked again.

The group soon pulled up to the park around 10 minutes later, immediately climbing over the measly little fence as they shared giggles amongst themselves. It wasn’t the first time they had done this, and they hoped it wouldn’t be the last time they got to do this all together as a group. Certainly not though, they all still had a year of school left before they all moved on to get higher educations, even then, they all swore to never loose contact with each other, no matter what. Even if they don’t speak anymore, to at least keep each other added on Facebook, at least. That was a promise they made their first year, and it just grew as more people got introduced into their tight knit group.

A few minutes later all 7 of them were running around like little kids, it wasn’t cold enough yet that their time in the night had to be cut short. They played tag, hide and seek, pushed one another on the swings, and of course, all took an endless number of selfies and pictures of each other doing stupid things someone over the age of 7 should be doing at a playground but no one cared, they were just having fun! James eventually did hurt himself through and so did Peter, at the same time of course, because they weren’t looking and ran into each other head on, knocking foreheads together as their backs hit the harsh wood chips. “Ouch! Potter- why is your head so hard?” Peter groaned, rubbing his head gently with his hand.

James couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, his preteen boy humor slipping out as Peter spoke. He watched as Peter rolled his eyes and groaned even louder as he realized what he had said and done. “Why do I even bother with you anymore,” Peter laughed finally, standing up slowly and trying to wipe the wood chips off his back that stuck on annoyingly.

Lily walked over and helped him out, she found herself giggling a bit too, though she hated it when she actually laughed at James’ stupid jokes and this time, he hadn’t even said anything but laugh! That was the most embarrassing part to herself was that fact. Sirius helped James off the ground who was still laughing, though it was less about the joke now and more about the fact he’d been running and crashed into Peter, that was the funniest bit now. Remus kept laughing, barely able to keep himself steady as he lost his footing over the lip in the concreate, in an attempt to save his face from planting into the sidewalk he twisted sideways, landing in a very thorny bush. “Ow…” he moaned, feeling dozens of tiny thrones scratching and nipping at his skin through his sweater.

Sirius and Mary both immediately rushed over to Remus to help him get out of the bush, both wincing as they saw little spots of blood forming in some spots around his skin and hands, surely throughout the rest of his body too. “Okay, I think we should call it a night, huh? Before anyone else gets hurt,” Lily spoke softly, giving both James and Peter a once over before doing the same to Remus.

Everyone nodded, all of a sudden feeling quite tired and uncomfortable in their outside clothes, all craving to get into their comfy pajamas and curl up underneath a blanket until late morning tomorrow. Amongst all of the chaos that unfolded quite quickly that evening and the pain still attacking Remus as he slowly walked and shuffled back to the car, he hadn’t noticed, well he did but didn’t care, the sharp pain at the nape of his neck, it had to have been a thorn stuck in his clothes or a wound just now opening itself up to the surface, obviously not a bite from an extremely radioactive spider that had taken home in the very bush Remus fell into. Obviously not that, because that would be the worst thing to happen to Remus in his entire life, all because that damn spider.

Remus would never be the same after tonight and neither would his friends and family, they’d never be able to live a normal and happy life all because that stupid spider lived in that thorn bush. And Remus of course, had to have fallen into it. If he had known what would soon follow the bite, he’d taken the possible broken nose any day, he in fact often fantasized about it late at night. Just what his life way have been if he wasn’t cursed that forsaken night.

this is also posted on ao3 under 'starloulou' !!!

#the marauders #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #peter pettigrew #spiderman au #wolfstar #jegulus #regulus black #lily evans #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #marauders era #originally posted on ao3 #fanfic

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sheepiemc · 5 months

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your touch (a craving)

part 2: arm (first)

You were on Diavolo’s mind again.

This seemed to be happening more often than not these days, especially after that infamous bus ride a few weeks before. The warmth of your thigh on his still made him crazy whenever he thought about it. The strength of his willpower was astounding; how he didn’t end up just pulling you onto his lap because of that touch was beyond mortal comprehension. Such were dangerous thoughts for the future King of the Devildom.

Something you had said that day kept bringing him back to that conversation. Somehow, you got on the topic of Devildom flora and he mentioned the Flowers of the Abyss in the school garden would soon be in bloom. You said you hadn’t gotten to explore the gardens much, as it wasn’t a part of the very brief tour you got from Mammon that very first day.

“We’ll need to rectify that immediately,” he remembered himself saying, leaning ever so closer - just as you did to him earlier on the bus.

You tilted your head as if you were surprised by the prince's sudden boldness. “I would really appreciate that, Diavolo. Thank you.”

The way your eyes brightened with your genuine smile made his heart soar; he'd been riding that high ever since. And he definitely clocked you dropping the honorific in his name. He had never been so excited to be disrespected (something to unpack at a later time).

And so, it was time to fulfill his promise.

He had finally cleared up his schedule and worked some magic behind the scenes to make sure you had the same time off. He texted you as soon as he was done to ask if you were available for the tour (even though he already knew the answer). You texted back almost immediately that yes, you were free and you would like to cash that rain check now.

Diavolo looked out the window. It wasn't raining.

You texted back, “I'll meet you at the garden gate.”

He tried to control his excited gait as he made his way to the garden from the student council office, but if anyone saw how fast he was hustling through the halls, they would know something was up.

Approaching the garden gate, he stopped when he saw you - close enough to observe but far enough away for you not to notice him yet. You were looking away from him, leaning against the fence that surrounded the perimeter of the garden.

He admired the way your hair looked in the eternal Devildom starlight, though it made him wonder what it looked like in your natural environment. What did it look like in the sun? Did it feel as soft as it looked?

You looked down at your phone and he could see your face in profile. He leaned against the fence now too, gently enough so as to not alert you to his presence. He wanted to memorize that profile, to become so familiar with it that he would be able to recognize you by its shadow. You smiled so fondly at whatever you found on your phone, and it made Diavolo's chest tighten. It was a stunning sight, to be sure - but he felt a sting of envy that he wasn't the reason for that smile.

“MC!” He waved and you looked at him, only a little bit startled.

“Hello, Lord Diavolo.” You put your phone away and turned to him, smiling wider.

He stopped short at the formality, leaving a respectable distance between you. Of course you would use his title here, in the hallowed halls of his very own institution, but that didn't make the blow land any softer.

He schooled his features into his “jovial prince indulging another of his whims” mask and asked, “Are you ready for your first official tour of our gardens? I can't believe it took this long for you to get to see them. We'll have to fix that for the next group of exchange students we bring in.”

“Yes, well,” your smile faltered infinitesimally, so minutely, anyone else might not have seen a difference. But Diavolo did. Demon that he was, he felt slightly vindicated but it didn't make him feel any better. In fact, it only reminded him that your stay here was temporary. “I'm glad you're the one that gets to show me, My Lord .”

He was startled by the emphasis on his title. Could you really see right through him? He almost shuddered at the thought before fully turning away from you to open the gate, allowing you to walk inside. “It's a huge garden and we have much to see so let's get on then, shall we?”

You walked past him, your smile ever so slightly morphing into a smirk. Diavolo released a breath he didn't realize he was holding and closed the gate behind him.

You wound the serpentine trails of the garden at a decidedly uncomfortable distance. Diavolo kept you at more than arm's length, a distance he maintained every time you stepped a little bit closer. He named every interesting plant you pointed out because what else is a prince to do for millennia if not memorize every plant name in his domain?

When you arrived at the section affectionately called “the flower fields”, you couldn't hold in your enthusiasm for all the strange, beautiful, and entirely unfamiliar flowers that populated this part of the garden. Your glittering expression softened Diavolo’s heart, reminding him why he chose to bring you here in the first place.

“Those would be the Flowers of the Abyss.” He gestured to some flowers with dark purple petals with a black gradient and blood-red stamens, a combination you had certainly never seen on any flower on earth.

“Can I touch them?” you asked.

“Smart of you to ask,” he smiled. “If you wish.”

He watched you, standing on the other side of the trail, as you tentatively reached out for the plant, rubbing its petal between your fingers. Your lips parted in a near-silent gasp. Diavolo gasped too, albeit involuntarily, his attention oscillating between your fingers and your face.

“It's so soft,” you whispered reverently as you gently cupped the flower in both hands. You leaned in, bringing your face closer to the bloom. Diavolo swallowed hard. Was he really getting jealous of a flower? In trying to feel the petals against your cheek, you managed to get some pollen on the corner of your mouth. “And they smell delightful,” you sighed, standing up straight, and releasing the flower from your grasp.

“MC, you have-” he couldn't finish the sentence, so he only vaguely gestured to his mouth, wishing he could get it off you himself.

“Oh,” you wiped it off with your thumb and looked at it quickly before sticking your thumb in your mouth. “Mmm, sweet, too.”

At that, Diavolo had to look away or else he might end up doing something he would certainly regret. That's when he noticed all the Hell Jasmine growing on his side of the trail. Stepping away from them, Diavolo cleared his throat, saying, “Yes, well, there is still more garden to get to so let's-”

“Of course,” you interrupted, “I know you're very busy, you must have something more important to attend to today.”

Anyone else listening to you might have taken that statement at face value, as someone being considerate of a prince’s schedule. But if you could read him, then he could read you just as well.

He heard the subtle hurt.

And it crushed him.

“That's not-” he started.

That's when time slowed down. As Diavolo approached you to try to assure you that you had his full attention, you stepped toward him as well. What you didn't see was the creeping vine that caught your foot as you stepped away.

You were falling.

You reached out for something - anything - to steady yourself, to catch yourself before you hit the ground. That something just happened to be Diavolo. His arm to be exact. The desperate grip short-circuited his brain and all he could think was please, don't let go. Long dormant synapses were firing in his brain and his eyes were only focused on where you two were touching. When you looked up at him, you realized just how close your faces were. You could've been standing there for an eternity, or only a few seconds - the Prince was absolutely transfixed.

You could've been standing there for an eternity, or only a few seconds. “You saved me, Diavolo. Thank you. I almost got your uniform dirty,” you joked in an attempt to snap him back to reality.

He looked at you.

You looked back at him.

“Yes, well,” he said, his voice a little strained, “we couldn't have that now, could we?”

You nodded and straightened out, releasing his arm at the same time. He mirrored your posture and placed his hands behind his back, out of sight, so you could not see the vice grip he had on the arm you were just holding. “Shall we continue the tour? We haven't even seen the restricted part of the garden yet.”

You smiled at him again, “I would love nothing more.”

And you walked side by side with only a few inches between you.

(next)

A/N: Hell Jasmine is a pale blue, glowing flower with a sweet aroma. Breathing in its fumes makes demons extremely needy and affection-craving. (Obey Me Wiki)

#obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me diavolo #diavolo x reader #diavolo x mc #i couldnt figure out how to make a fake chat screenshot easily so just the stickers are all y'all get #originally posted on ao3 #OP #fic

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shadow-bringer-ao3 · 8 months

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If, Perhaps, They Were Less Idiotic, Things Would Go Smoothly

Madara was, admittedly, too disoriented to have bothered checking the remains of whatever ritual the students decided to set off in the middle of breakfast. He’s tired, cranky, and near blind from the explosion. Not an actual explosion, thank the Sage, but a sudden relocation of all of the light, natural or otherwise, to one point. Jarring, to say the least. Anyway, rituals and sketched seals aren’t his area of expertise, fire is. That’s Mito’s area. And Tobirama, but that’s more of a hobby for the water elementalist than anything else.

So, instead of checking the ritual or for injuries, like Itama and Tsunade immediately went to do, he headed for the prime suspects. Namely, Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto and his squad of annoyances. They even drag the upper years into their messes, sometimes, but Kakashi generally has more impulse control and can hold all of his idiot friends back. Namely, Uchiha Obito. His own nephew, who gets himself in more trouble than Madara ever knows what to do with. Almost as bad as Minato and Kushina’s spawn.

He never gets all of the co-conspirators from the main suspects (Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura, because it’s always those three, isn’t it) but that’s hardly surprising. The trio is admirably tight-lipped and loyal, Sasuke more out of general stubbornness than anything, but the end result remains the same. The three get detention (under Hidan, the sadistic bastard, because he and Kakuzu are pretty much the only teachers immune to Naruto’s natural charm) and Madara gets a drink. The next day everything is fine and the trio are suitably traumatized.

Well, except for one thing. Something is off with Tobirama.

At first, Madara doesn’t think anything of it. The Senju have always been a little odd and Tobirama is no exception to that rule. Hashirama is bipolar, Tsunade violent, Kawarama... weird, Itama downright terrifying, and Tobirama closed off, distant, with no rhyme or reason attached to his actions. That’s how it’s always been. This, though, is a different kind of weird. After he first notices (a flinch away from contact, not usually odd, but this time it was away from Kawarama and Tobirama has never been shy with contact when it involved his brothers, particularly the younger ones), he doesn’t stop. He can see Itama and Tsunade are clued in on something, their eyes tracking Tobirama whenever he’s in the same room as them but the albino astutely avoids the pair of healers. Mito too, if her narrow-eyed glances and heated, whispered arguments with the healers or Tobirama himself are anything to go off of.

An injury, he thinks, but that can’t be right. Nothing in his movements belay any sort of injury and Tobirama has never been shy about healing, regardless. It must be something else.

(He keeps going back to the idea of an injury time and time again as Tobirama seems to almost wane over the next several days, even if he’s cast it aside.

He realizes, with a start, that he’s doesn’t like the idea of Tobirama injured and not seeking help.

He buries the emotion as soon as it surfaces, resolutely ignoring it.)

Madara doesn’t hate paperwork. He really doesn’t. It’s tiring, but he doesn’t hate it. No, he hates how much he gets or, as in this situation, the absolutely horrid conditions he has to work it. The conditions being, of course, Tobirama’s presence. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. Then again, Tobirama isn’t quite acting normally, is he? No, no he’s not. So Madara is stuck doing paperwork with Tobirama, trying to simultaneously ignore the albino and scan him for any sign of injuries or curses or seals.

That also leads to lingers looks at pale skin or vibrantly red tattoos or soft snow-white hair that Madara would love to run his fingers through- he tears his eyes away, glaring down at the field trip form in his hands. It’s Uzumaki Karin’s, for Hashirama’s annual trip to the relatively nearby ruins, preserved and owned by the school. The Mountain Graveyard, they call it. It’s chalk full of magic and the resident Zetsu(s) hang out there. A dangerous place, if the students don’t follow the strictly enforced rules. Karin is less of a troublemaker than her year mates, so long as Hozuki Suigetsu doesn’t antagonize her into doing anything stupid. He signs off on the form and moves it aside. In a separate pile, since the field trip is coming up rather quickly and he doesn’t want to have to deal with Hashirama’s panicked searching like last year. His eyes move up to Tobirama again, unbidden. The man is frowning down at what looks to be their finances, his mouth moving to silent words. Madara watches for a beat too long and pulls his eyes determinedly back to his own work. A parent complaining, as always. Honestly, if parents don’t agree with their teaching methods then they should pull their kids out. No one is going to kick Hidan out for being a third-tier vampire despite the complaints against it and like hell would Minato put up with it anyway.

The blonde is almost annoyingly kind but that means nothing when you draw his ire. A true force to be reckoned with, that one. Especially with those annoying spells he and Tobirama are always working together on. And Orochimaru, when the mood strikes their resident snake expert (but seriously, that level of adoration for snakes is not natural). Tobirama meets his eyes when he looks up again. He grimaces, ignoring the way his face flushes, but doesn’t back down.

"You’ve been staring," Tobirama offers up, his (beautiful, vibrant red) eyes narrowing further. Madara leans forwards slightly, letting his head rest on his hand.

"If you offered a picture, perhaps I could stare at that instead," he returns, never one to let a chance slip him by. The albino disregards the comment without more than a slight bristling, like usual. Honestly, the Senju is very incredibly oblivious. It seems to run in the family. Kawarama hadn’t noticed Hikaku’s flirting for a week and Hashirama hadn’t noticed Mito’s for a year and a half. Hashirama still misses rather obvious hints and clues from Mito (who is now, somehow, his wife, he doesn’t understand why she would lower her standards so far).

"I’m afraid I have no such photos in my possession," Tobirama says dryly. "Nor do any of my brothers, I can assure you." ...Madara wonders just how many threatening words and actions it took for a Tobirama to get any and all pictures of himself from his family and destroy them. He’s tempted to say a lot but, beyond Itama, Tobirama has been voted as the most terrifying staff in employment by both parents and students. Hidan and Kakuzu may both be creepy and Tsunade may be terrifying in her own right but all three have a lot to learn.

"Well?" Tobirama prompts after a moment. Madara hums, shrugging.

"You seem... off," he says truthfully. You can’t lie to Tobirama, after all, and redirection is nigh impossible. The only ones able to do it are Itama and Touka, as far as he can tell, and that’s only through intense embarrassment. Mito, sometimes, through sheer stubbornness.

"Off?" Tobirama arches an elegant white brow, clearly unimpressed.

"Yeah. Ever since the idiot trio’s most recent back-firing experiment, actually." Oh and there Tobirama tenses. Something is wrong, then, it’s not just his imagination. Tobirama turns his attention back to his paperwork.

"Don’t be a fool, Uchiha, no matter what comes naturally to you. I am unharmed." Madara stares at Tobirama for a moment longer, wondering if he should take offense. He decides not to because it’s probably what Tobirama wants. A genius plan to- wait. Oh. Madara stifles a smirk, pushing himself fluidly to his feet. Tobirama twitches but doesn’t look up, working determinedly on whatever he’s decided is more important than his own welfare. Madara walks around the table, stopping next to Tobirama.

"Say, Senju," he purrs, putting a hand over the paper Tobirama is staring at. "I don’t believe I mentioned injuries or harm in any way." Which side has Tobirama been favoring?

"You implied it," Tobirama retorts coldly, turning to glare up at him. Madara moves so he can bracket the albino, rather than merely looming. Which side had Kawarama brushed against?

"I gave a timeline but I didn’t imply anything," he corrects. "You inferred it." Tobirama stands. His chair clatters to the ground, skidding out of Madara’s circled arms. He pays it no mind. Ah, yes. It had been Tobirama’s right.

"What do you want, Madara?" It comes out as a growl. Madara grins, stepping closer so that Tobirama’s back is touching the table and his front is pressed against Madara. We can’t be having the Senju escape after all, can we? He leans closer yet to whisper in Tobirama’s ear.

"I want you... to take care of yourself." And with that, Madara presses one hand into Tobirama’s right side. The albino hisses in pain, almost crumpling in Madara’s arms. Madara steps away from the table with a frown, taking Tobirama with him. There’s no way the man will let Madara take him to Tsunade or Itama and even in pain, Tobirama’s control over water is a bitch and a half to deal with.

"Bastard," Tobirama snarls. It would be scarier if the Senju wasn't half keeled over in Madara’s arms. Madara gives him an unimpressed look and carefully leads Tobirama over to the staff room couch. He pushes the Senju into it, kneeling in front of him. He lifts Tobirama’s shirt without a word, scanning the man’s right side. It’s not pretty- a patchwork of bruises and nasty black marks. He feels over it gently with his meager diagnostic magic, on hand on Tobirama’s other side to stop the man from instinctively flinching away. A broken rib too, it seems like.

"Why hasn’t Itama healed you?" He demands, glaring up at Tobirama.

"The magic that caused the injury rejects any interference. I simply have to let it heal on it’s own," Tobirama grumbles, apparently realizing that Madara isn’t just going to let the matter rest.

"Why are you working, then? Minato would give you payed off time, if it’s a problem with money." Tobirama stares at him like he’s an idiot. Madara glares back, because everything he just said makes sense. Rest is a necessary component of healing and, by the sage, if Tobirama refuses to take care of himself, Madara will force him.

"What do you expect? For me to just laze around doing nothing?"

"Yes? That’s generally what people do when they get a rib broken. You’re going to mess up the healing process! The fact that you haven’t done so already is luck, pure and simple,” Madara snaps. Tobirama rears back, like he’s surprised that Madara’s worried. He really hopes that’s just his overactive imagination and not an actual worry. He might be... grumpy, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like Tobirama (just the opposite, in fact, and if the other man thinks Madara dislikes or, Sage, hates him, he’s not sure what he’ll do).

"I will not be useless-" Madara snarls, cutting Tobirama off harshly.

"For fuck’s sake, Senju! Being injured and not taking care of yourself properly will lead to you being a burden more than if you took a few weeks to fix yourself." They fall into an uncomfortable, tense silence when Madara finishes. There’s so much more he’d like to say (yell at Tobirama for thinking like that, demand the names of those that made him think he needed to be useful, assure Tobirama that he’s the most important person in this school and likely the only reason it runs in any sort of workable fashion), but now isn’t the time. Tobirama hardly trusts him and wouldn’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth that isn’t an insult in some way. He sighs, leaning back to sit on his haunches. This conversation would be more comfortable if he wasn’t on the floor in front of Tobirama but he’ll make do.

"Is there anything we can do to remove the magical infection?" He asks after a moment. Tobirama looks at him long and hard, trying to discern his purpose. Or so Madara would guess. Even after all this time, the Senju is a mystery. Probably part of the reason Madara is so enamored.

"A few," Tobirama finally says, his eyes never leaving Madara’s (and isn’t that odd, when the Uchiha are so well known for the magics they can channel and use through their eyes?). "Many are too dangerous to attempt or too..." He trails off, clearly searching for a word. "Intimate," Tobirama finishes with a helpless shrug. Madara arches a brow.

"Too intimate?" He prods. Tobirama’s lips twist into a grimace and he looks away with a hum.

"If I were to have my magic completely flushed, or switched out by another’s, the invading magic would be forced to dissipate due to losing anything to ground itself with. It would work but..."

"But it would result in a magical bond," Madara finished for him. He swipes a hands over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He should just force the Senju into bed rest to heal the normal way but with a magical infection like this, it’s possible that the injuries won’t ever heal. The most logical thing to do would be to flush out Tobirama’s system. That’s a level of intimacy far past anything the Senju has partook in, far past anything even Madara has done.

"Of course. The one lauded as unfeeling, regardless of evidence to the opposite, is the one stuck in this situation," Madara grumbles. "I don’t suppose you have anyone you wouldn’t mind being bonded to?" The question is rhetorical, verging on sarcastic, but Tobirama responds seriously anyway.

"I... do. But I am unsure if he feels the same way or whether he is simply like this around everyone and I have horribly misread him," Tobirama confesses, voice tight as he studiously avoids Madara’s eyes. Well, that was certainly unexpected. He wonders who it is. Madara resolutely pushes down the pang of hurt the echoes through his magic itself. Why should he care that Tobirama likes someone?

"Well, I suppose the first step would be asking them." Madara bites down on the near instinctive addition that he wouldn’t mind being bonded to Tobirama. In fact, he would love it. The Senju, though, clearly doesn’t feel the same way. Tobirama stares at Madara again, frowning. The he sighs and gets to his feet. Madara scrambles to his feet as well, steadying the Senju when it looks like he’ll stumble.

"And here it’s my family that is said to be oblivious," Tobirama says dryly. "Now move. We’ve wasted enough time and the paperwork certainly isn’t going to do itself." Madara doesn’t move and that earns him a glare but now it’s personal, damnit.

"What did you mean by that?" He challenges. Tobirama rolls his eyes and, with the speed he’s infamous for, drags Madara into a short, slightly awkward, but very much amazing kiss. Oh.

"Oh," he articulates dumbly. Tobirama hums again. "You like me?"

"Clearly." That was dry enough to give Suna a run for it’s money, dear lord.

"Then... you wouldn’t mind me helping with your, ah... infection?" Suffice to say, the answer is a resounding 'yes'.

(They get on stopping the magic infection right away because it's a very dangerous situation that shouldn't be allowed to continue any longer. It’s definitely not because they, realizing how stupid they’ve been, decided to emulate horny teenagers. The bonding and flushing and everything was definitely at the front of their minds. The entire time. It was the entire reason.

Fuck off Izuna, you’re just as bad!)

#nart fic #if they were less idiotic #tobimada #magic #magical au #originally posted on ao3

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