#or like odd number years would start bad but end good and the even number years would be the other way round | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charles-leclerc-official · 3 months

Text

Lewis Hamilton to Ferrari

All my thoughts about this 2025 historic transfer. I want to say that a lot of this is up in the air as there is no way to know for sure until we see tyres on the track, but here is what I think about the situation as it relates to all major players involved.

Why is Lewis leaving?

I think that even though the announcement was sudden it's not a total shock when you think about the reasons Lewis might not want to stay at Mercedes.

Yes, Mercedes has been his home for 11 years and gave him 6 WDC. However since 2021 he's been increasingly unhappy with the direction the team have taken the car. That in addition to the way management has been handling things over there it seems like Mercedes are not really doing what needs to be done to compete seriously with Red Bull in the coming years.

Not feeling listened to or properly valued at a team is really difficult for drivers. I think after so long Mercedes started taking Lewis for granted and expecting him to work miracles with a substandard car. He's done sim work in the 2024 merc car and it may be so far off his expectations that he realized he can no longer accomplish what he wants to at Mercedes.

The odd thing though is that he was seemingly pretty happy at Mercedes, at the very least talking about retiring with them, and a brand ambassadorship after. Whatever happened at Mercedes recently was enough to break his faith in the team and possibly his trust. Did Toto over promise and severely underdeliver?

There is a lot we are missing in terms of what was going on behind the scenes. There may have been one moment or race that was the last straw for Hamilton, but unless he tells us we can only speculate. I'd expect more specifics about this in the coming weeks. How Lewis talks about the split will tell us a lot.

Why Ferrari?

There are two big reasons why Lewis would want to join Ferrari as his next team

1 . Ferrari's upward trajectory and Fred Vasseur

Now for those who haven't been following Ferrari this may seem like a bad move. However Fred Vasseur took over as team principal at Scuderia Ferrari at the beginning of 2023 replacing Binotto. Since then he has been making big changes at Ferrari, hiring engineers from Red Bull and Mercedes, firing half the old team. He has been really doing the work to get Ferrari competitive internally.

Things are looking better for Ferrari under his leadership, in the next few years we have the possibility of seeing some very competitive cars coming out of Ferrari.

Also Fred and Lewis are close, they have history, that connection probably wasn't difficult for either of them to make.

So Lewis probably saw the appeal of the team that Fred is assembling and thought it looks a lot better than the current state of affairs at Mercedes.

2 . Ferrari's historic/legacy appeal

It's like they always say "Everyone is a Ferrari fan"

Ferrari is one of the greatest teams in F1 with the highest number of WDC and WCC wins. Many of the legends of the sport have done seasons at Ferrari. It is considered one of the dream teams to race for, with good reason. To drive with Ferrari is to add your name to a list of legends.

Lewis has always been a Ferrari fan. He's even said that he has thought about driving for them and even ending his career with them. The name carries prestige. And Lewis is probably thinking about where and when he wants to retire.

There were Hamilton retirement rumors not too long ago. I still think he has an idea of when he wants to retire, and he wants to do it in style(which in this case means in red)

Retiring with Ferrari carries this romantic grandeur to it. He's probably always wanted to do a season or two there and Mercedes just never gave him a reason. Well it seems now they have.

Even if he doesn't get his eighth WDC or even another P1 at Ferrari, it may be better to finish at a historic team he has respect for than to keep racing until Mercedes has used him up.

He has literally done so many things in F1 one of the few things he hasn't done is drive for Ferrari. It does make sense from the legacy career end perspective as well.

For new fans or DTS fans who think "Ferrari is a bad team they are terrible at strategy and always mess up" the times are changing. Forget everything you know/have come to expect, and wait for results. Ferrari aren't going anywhere, and will always be F1 legends.

Bonus reason 2.5: Lewis obviously wants to continue racing for a top team. If he doesn't want to stay at Mercedes where else is he supposed to go? No way would that work at Red Bull. Mclaren are already set, and Aston Martin aren't competitive enough. Ferrari is actually the only option that makes any real sense.

What about Charles?

Charles Leclerc just resigned with Ferrari on a multi-year contract(rumored to be a 2+2 deal, at this moment it's really hard to get accurate numbers on that) Fred Vasseur and the Ferrari team have said that he is the number one priority and that the technical development around the car is based on his feedback.

So what does this mean for Lewis?

Well Lewis is smart, he went into this knowing full well everything that Ferrari have been saying about prioritizing Charles. He isn't joining with the expectation that Charles is going to be his #2.

This is an area where we really need to see how the team manages two competitive drivers on the track in terms of strategy calls.

Charles is not going to tolerate #2 treatment. He sure as hell isn't going to back down from the challenge of having a WDC teammate.

There is the potential to see them being a real power duo on the track in 2025.

Charles also reportedly knew about Lewis, and wouldn't re-sign with Ferrari unless he really believed they were going to give him priority and had a chance of delivering a championship worthy car in the coming years(if not he has exit clauses) Charles isn't stupid either, he weighed all the options and decided that partnering with a multiple time WDC would be a welcome challenge and a push for his own career.

In 2019 when Charles joined Ferrari with Vettel he didn't back down from the challenge. In a competitive car we are going to see him shine on the track regardless of who his teammate is.

Charles also has battled Lewis and won, he's in his prime as a driver and he is certainly one for a challenge. If you think that Charles is going to be overshadowed by Lewis. Think again.

Lewis also has always been supportive of Charles and recognized his talents. I can see him potentially being a really great teammate for him. Charles also has always listed Hamilton as an inspiration, so these two do have a lot of mutual respect. The chemistry between them could really be legendary.

Let's be realistic. Lewis is the older more experienced driver. He is heading towards retirement, while Charles is in his prime. Charles is the future of Ferrari, that much is clear. This doesn't mean that Lewis isn't still an insanely skilled driver, and we may see wins from him at Ferrari. But at this stage of his career he isn't the one who is going to be shaping the team long term.

Another important thing to remember is that Charles has the experience specifically with Ferrari. He's been through it with them, he'll probably be helping Hamilton deal with some of Ferrari's possible shortcomings.

Looking at this driver lineup and assuming that this means Charles is no longer the top priority at Ferrari, or that he will be taking a back seat to Lewis is insane to me. He's one of the best drivers on the grid, and he does have to beat Lewis one way or another if he wants that first WDC.

If you don't think Charles is at the center of the future of Ferrari, you haven't been paying attention.

From Ferrari's Perspective

I mean the clear winner here is Ferrari. A Leclerc-Hamilton lineup is probably going to be the strongest on the 2025 grid.

If they are serious about Charles being number 1 and helping him get that first WDC, then Lewis' experience will be valuable in helping achieve that.

If there are times when Charles is out due to a DNF, or struggling with the car for whatever reason, Lewis is going to be able to really deliver on picking up points. It's almost a guaranteed at P2 in constructor's, and competitive when gunning for P1.

Ferrari probably want two drivers that will be consistently pulling podiums, and Lewis can sure as hell do that alongside Charles.

Charles is loved by Ferrari and the Tifosi, they aren't going to hang him out to dry in favor of Lewis. It would create a nightmare for the team. While Binotto might not have been smart enough to see that, Fred is smart enough to value Charles and his abilities. He knows that Charles will walk the moment he doesn't feel like Ferrari are valuing him.

Hamilton is certainly someone who could push Charles in the right ways to get him that first WDC.

But having a more mature multi-WDC driver in the second seat just makes a crazy strong driver lineup.

It's also one of the most brilliant moves in Formula 1 history. By getting Lewis from Mercedes Vasseur has crippled a rival team. They now have to scramble for a replacement, and no one is going to be able to really replace Lewis. The only driver who may come close is Alonso, and that is if Mercedes can get him(assuming Alonso isn't planning to retire at the end of the year)

This also throws the rest of the 2024/2025 driver market into further chaos. Red Bull likely didn't see this coming. They have a seat to fill in 2024 and now they have to consider that they will be going against a Leclerc-Hamilton lineup. Their expectations have been shattered and now they are probably re-thinking who is going to get that RB seat beside Max.

Now this may harken back to 2020 and how Ferrari handled Vettel. Well that was under Binotto. Fred has not given me a reason(yet) to think that 2025 and beyond would be similar. When talking about Ferrari and how they are going to manage things please remember A LOT has changed in the last year in terms of management.

With this move Vasseur revealed just how much bigger his plan for Ferrari really is.

This may be the ushering in of the next Ferrari golden age. We can only wait with baited breath to see.

What about Sainz?

It would not be right to talk about this without discussing Sainz.

This is not going to be a Sainz hate section, but I am going to need everyone to take a deep breath and be realistic with me here.

Over the last 2 months we've heard a lot of rumors regarding Sainz and Ferrari not being able to reach an agreement when it comes to his contract. Clearly this whole thing with Lewis has been coming for longer than we all realized.

It is possible that Sainz pushing Ferrari for a longer contract forced their hand to reveal that they'd already secured Lewis. It is also very likely that the rumors that they wanted to renew for one year are completely false and 2024 was always going to be his last year at Ferrari.

It's not really a contest when comparing Sainz to Hamilton. Who would you realistically rather have on your team? Sainz is a solid driver, but he has struggled with the development direction at Ferrari.

Additionally the dynamic between Sainz and Leclerc on the track and as teammates as a whole may be working out far worse than Ferrari had hoped. When Fred came in and said "we are going to have a number one driver" that is a big change in the philosophy of the team, very different than when Sainz joined. It may be that he simply isn't a good fit for the new direction at Ferrari.

Sainz also has not been handling things well in the press on his end. A lot of his attempts at negotiation may have really been detrimental to his position.

And yes he had the only non-Red Bull win in 2023. But the most important thing to remember about that win is that he didn't have to seriously battle Max to get it. Red Bull struggled unusually during Singapore, and that was massive in leading to a non RB victory.

The path to victory for Ferrari involves drivers who can compete with Max in equal conditions. Charles has proved multiple times that he can do that. He was one of the few drivers to seriously compete with Max this last season. Carlos simply hasn't been able to do that. In his own words he was scared that Max wasn't even pushing the car's full potential every race. A driver who is scared of Max because he has never really had to contend with him due to reasons outside his control is not "Take down Red Bull material"

This may seem harsh or like I am hating on Carlos, but I am being realistic. That is the way the stage is set. He isn't a bad driver by any means.

Ultimately it comes down to the fact that Sainz isn't the best fit at Ferrari in the long-term for a variety of reasons.

How the News Broke

This is where I am probably going to do the most speculation.

But I think based on the way this came out that this was not how or when any parties involved were meant to find out.

Ferrari didn't have anything prepared. They always are very considered about posts and press releases. To not have graphics ready to announce Sir Lewis Hamilton joining the team? No way. They weren't ready for the announcement.

Adding on to that they clearly weren't ready with how they were going to post about Carlos' last year. It may seem disrespectful, but they simply weren't ready with the posts, articles and team statements. I don't think that any of it was to intentionally disrespect Carlos.

I think it's very obvious that this leaked early. From which party I cannot tell, but it's pretty clear no one was ready.

Someone forced the news.

So that makes all of this come across way worse for Carlos and Mercedes. Rumor has it Carlos may have known for a few weeks now, so that would leave Mercedes the only party truly blindsided.

Timeline of Events

Based on the information we currently have here is roughly how I think things played out.

According to Toto he and Lewis were on the same page going into Christmas 2023.

Meaning something changed in a few short weeks for Lewis to make a change.

We keep hearing that roughly three weeks ago was when Ferrari potentially reached out again to Lewis.

So here is what I think might have gone down.

Ferrari had already secured Lewis for 2026, at the end of his new Mercedes Contract. This lines up with rumors that they were open to offering Carlos a 1 year extension.

However Sainz stalled negotiations, demanding a 2 year extension. Ferrari can't agree to that since they already got Lewis.

So Ferrari reached out to Lewis, possibly sweetening the deal to opt out of his Mercedes contract a year early. At this point Lewis has spent some time in the Mercedes simulator for the 2024 car and it may be well off his expectations. So he agrees.

Then the rumor starts spreading and eventually the inevitable has to be confirmed. Lewis is joining Ferrari in 2025 and Carlos is out of his seat at the end of the 2024 season.

I could be way off, but this at the very least makes some sense to me.

Final Thoughts

I am cautiously optimistic on what this means for Ferrari and Charles moving into 2025(this is a Charles blog you know I am most focused on his career) I am going to trust the team and vision Fred Vasseur has until he gives me a good reason not to.

Winners and Losers

There are some clear winners and losers here.

Winners: Ferrari, George Russell Losers: Mercedes, Carlos Sainz I say Ferrari because clearly this strong of a driver lineup is great as a team. I will wait to see if this ends up being a winning driver pairing for Charles and Lewis though.

George Russell is also suddenly the star at Mercedes. He is going to have the opportunity to really prove himself, after being #2 to Lewis for so many years I'm sure this change will be beneficial to his career(assuming he can step up and Merc give him a drivable car)

Mercedes just somehow fumbled one of the greatest drivers in the history of Formula 1. No way to really spin that as anything but a major blow to the team.

Sainz also is the victim of bad timing, a changing team, and not being able to compete with Lewis. It isn't fair, but this sport is brutal and we knew this was a possibility. Hopefully this means he will be able to find a team that better suits his goals/driving style.

However you want to view it, this is one of the biggest driver transfers in the history of the sport. It will be historic to see Lewis don Ferrari red alongside Charles.

Here is to a strong 2025 for Charles and Lewis.

Forza Ferrari

#charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #scuderia ferrari #mercedes #fred vasseur #carlos sainz #formula 1 #lucis essays #long post

31 notes · View notes

jaybutnotthebird · 11 months

Text

IMAGINE MEETING ROCKY ON THE ROAD

-Imagine meeting Rocky on the road when you were both homeless teenagers.

-Imagine being slightly bigger than him, since he's buildt like a noodle, and of more thought appearence, just 'cause you can't possibly be as cheerful as him

-imagine that you can play some short of instrument that fits fine with the fiddle, like a little flute or a guitar, and the two of you hit it off right away

-imagine Rocky telling Freackle about you in one of his letters

-imagine you two geting to know each other deeply, little by little. Soon there's a point where you know the sadness behind his grins, and he knows exactly how to tease you and when not to do it

-imagine one of you geting into trouble, and expecting the other to get away only to have them come back and risk it for you

-imagine that, for a while, its the two of you against the world, playing little songs and telling stories to earn enough to eat while on the road

-imagine the inside jokes, the hours spent just walking and talking together, the nights cold as fuck but good enough to make do, the feeling of compañerism between you two

-imagine the few fights and arguments between you, wich, no matter how bad they could get, were forgotten as soon as they ended

-imagine joining the cyrus together, maybe even starting a simple, fun musical number to entertain the audience

-imagine that one of you lost the job at the cyrus and the other doubted not a second to follow, to stick together

-imagine what may have been the reason you went your separate ways

-maybe (and this is just my imagination) maybe you two realiced what you felt for each other and panicked. Had an argument. Decided it was better to put some distance between you

-imagine regreting that choice, as you spent night after night alone on the road, wondering if the other is ok and if they miss you as much as you miss them

-imagine going back at one point and trying to find the other, but theres no use, so you just give up on It and keep only the memories

-imagine ending up at St Louis, doing odd jobs, from playing on the street to the more dangerous, ilegal kind

-imagine meeting by chance on the street, and its just sudden joy without second thoughts

-imagine Rocky just passing by, hearing the familiar sound of music. He knows what that instrument is but it didn't occur to him it would be the exact same, played by the same person. When he comes closer and sees you he just runs at you exclamig your name. You abruptly stop playing and return the hug, lifting him in the air, no matter who's watching

-imagine the sweet, exciting joy of a chance sudden reunion with an old friend like that

-imagine how you both have changed, becoming older, stronger... He looks good in blue. You are still dressed humble, tho not in rags like when you first met

-imagine talking for hours, catching up. He brings you to the little daisy café, gets pancakes, then takes you downstairs, introduces you to everyone

-imagine making a little demonstration of the songs you use to play. You havent done this in years, but one of you starts a familiar tune and the both of you fall right away into it, in sinc

-imagine you finding some odd job with the Lackadaisy crew, maybe somehow fiting your little instrument in with the rest of the band, but also joining Rocky on his dangerous runs

-imagine you two talking up to late hours like back in the day

-imagine finding a little place to bunk in together, at last. A place of your own.

-imagine geting upset with Rocky, and telling him to his face that his life is worth much more than three meager bottles of shit water. Imagine breaking them in a fit of rage just to drive the point home.

-imagine threatening him with burning the speakeasy down if he gets hurt. Imagine his face.

-imagine him being pensive and quiet after this

-imagine the two of you finally acting up on your feelings after years of constant struggle and distance

-imagine your life together from there

#lackadaisy #rocky rickaby #fanfiction #imagine #ocs #reader #rocky rickaby x reader

109 notes · View notes

reinathevocaloid · 3 months

Text

A Sladick Playlist

(Bc these two have been living in my head rent-free these days lol)

Animals by Maroon 5 (Cover by Living in Fiction)

Baby, I'm preying on you tonight Hunt you down, eat you alive Just like animals

I Don't Know Why by Imagine Dragons

Dangerous Your love is always dangerous And now I'm lost in us We're livin' in a lying trust

damn. by Rei Ami

So tell me why you're back again Say what you mean, mean what you say 'Cause what you give is what you get And I don't forget

Killing Time by Infected Mushroom

In my dreams (I can kill you) Close to me You open the cage and he sets you free

Amsterdam by Daughter

Heavy eyed crawling on the roadside Swinging from the street lights I hope by the morning I will have grown back

heart of steel by sanjay.

What would I do with a heart of steel Protect what I love when I don't even feel Taken the chance to fix what I need Nothings right I need a chance to breathe

Maybe by Flower Face

You're the one who's in my body, ripping at the seams And you're the one who's crashing on the highways in my dreams Maybe I won't, maybe I will I haven't slept so easy since you left me in the wild I wish I could've loved you right, but I was just a child Maybe I won't, maybe I will run back to you

Psychobabble by Frou Frou

Do just what I tell you And no one will get hurt Don't come in any closer 'Cause I don't know how long I can hold my heart in two Make no sudden movements And no one need get hurt You're making me nervous If you know what's good for me why would I be loving you?

Knee Socks by Arctic Monkeys

When the zeros line up on the 24 hour clock When you know who's callin' even though the number is blocked When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste And your knee socks

Turn Off The Lights by Panic! At The Disco

I got so sick of being on my own Now the devil won't leave me alone It's almost like I've found a friend Who's in it for the bitter end

Just Pretend by Bad Omens

I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I can wait for years if I gotta Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

Invisible by Plumb

I cannot see you But I can feel you I just wanna be with you I've nowhere else to go I've nowhere else to go

Red by BEAUZ

I know all your little secrets Did you think that I'd forget? The first cut always goes the deepest You ain't seen nothing yet

Waiting Game by BANKS

Baby I'm thinking it over What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? What if it only gets colder Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart 'Cause lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are

The Walk by Imogen Heap

No, it's not meant to be like this Not what I planned at all I don't want to feel like this So that makes it all your fault

The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez

The bed's getting cold and you're not here The future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call And I'll bet the odds against it all

Hold Me Like A Grudge by Fall Out Boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, whoa Faster and faster, can't do it on my own Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah So hold me like a grudge

Strange Birds by Birdy

You've always loved the strange birds Now I want to fly into your world I want to be heard My wounded wing's still beating, You've always loved the stranger inside Me, ugly pretty

Coming Down by Halsey

Now we're lost somewhere in outer space In a hotel room where demons play They run around beneath our feet We roll around beneath these sheets

Death Valley by Fall Out Boy

But we are alive Here in death valley But don't take love off the table yet 'Cause tonight It's just fire alarms and losing you We love a lot So, we only lose a little But we are alive

The Definition of Not Leaving by Hands Like Houses

I want you to follow and find me Howl like its us and no-one else We could keep out the sadness and stand so tall We could run like wild things, and lie right where we fall

Undisclosed Desires by Muse

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask I want to exorcise the demons from your past I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Disciple by IAMX

Disciple, I absolve you So forgive yourself enough to obey the naked truth That you need to be owned And you beg to be controlled

On The Run by Kayou.

I guess you're back Are you gonna tell me where you went? All the messages I sent, with no reply It's like that You're just gonna walk into my room I hate how you assume That there will always be a place for you By my side Day or night You know that it's killing me

Raw Raw by K.Flay

I came up from the depths of hell with a golf club in my hand You disarmed me, no defense My armor turned to sand It's hard to escape the wounds of the past Every time I feel something real, I wanna take it back

Red Lights by Stray Kids

I'm going crazy now, out of control, I I'm staying up all night again The moment when I close my eyes All I see is red lights

All About Us by t.A.T.u.

They say They don't trust You, me, we, us So we'll fall if we must 'Cause it's you, me And it's all about, it's all about It's all about us

Heaven, Iowa by Fall Out Boy

Scar-crossed lovers forever I'm checking myself out forever I'm saving this all for later Scar-crossed lovers forever Here we are, untouched forever I'm saving this all for later, oh

Spiracle by Flower Face

And I want your parties, the shark in your water The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow

#sladick #shut up anya #my playlists

39 notes · View notes

ageofevermore · 2 years

Text

Believe In Her

Summary — Natasha Romanoff went from being your biggest headache to your baby mama, and you wouldn’t change how it happened for the world, even if it broke your heart and almost your body a couple times

Natasha Romanoff x Reader ( 2k )

Authors Note — Moved from another blog.

When you first met Natasha Romanoff, she was just an employee for Pepper Potts; the same as you. You had been envious of her tight red ringlets and easy wit. Everything you wanted was just handed to her. For months the two of you went head to head on everything. Natasha thought the drapes in Peppers office should be blue, you thought they should be red. You were quite easily the most infuriating person Natasha had met. Maybe that's why she fell for you so hard.

Those first few months of your relationship are buried deep in your memory. You hate how petty and insecure you’d been. Natasha however, loves reminding you. Even after the two of you had smoothed out your kinks and traded in being hot headed rivals for loving girlfriends, she’d get on your case about it. Natasha Romanoff let nothing go. Ever.

It had taken her years to open up to you about her past. You’re thankful for that. If you’d known her story earlier, you wouldn’t have been shy to the idea of putting a bullet in Dreykov's head by yourself. You were impulsive, irrational, led by your emotions. As much as Natasha thought your lack of clarity was cute, had she told you about her past when you’d first met, you wouldn't have lived to your twenty-sixth birthday. What Natasha had never been shy about, was wanting kids.

She’d always said she wanted four. Three was an odd number, and two wasn’t enough. On nights when you couldn’t sleep, she would pull you in by your waist and tell you about her childhood. She’d tell you the bad things, but she’d dwell on the good things. She told you all about Yelena and Melina. About how good of a mother you’d be if you were given the opportunity. She told you about how when she was sterilized, during her recovery she thought about holding an innocent baby in her arms that was half her and half somebody she loves. She told you that she wished for a daughter. A daughter with her green eyes and the hair of somebody she loves. She told you that she would’ve named her Luna. She never cried about it. She’d just smile fondly, holding back her tears as she twists your hair around her fingers.

A year before things had somehow gotten worse for Natasha and yourself, you started your journey in trying to get pregnant. Two months before the both of you fled the states and almost died (multiple times), you’d attempted your first shot at pregnancy. You wish you’d known that it was successful when her little sister held you at knifepoint in Budapest, or when you’d finally gotten your chance to hurt the man that spent his life hurting your girl. You would’ve done things differently. Natasha had already been hurt so many times, you’d never forgive yourself if this good thing had been ruined by your eagerness to end her lifelong fight. If you’d lost your baby, your heart would’ve broken in a way that wasn’t fixable. Even after falling out of the sky and being shot by mind controlled women, suffering broken bones and lacerations, you were still pregnant. There was still a baby growing inside of you; a baby that although wasn’t technically half Natasha and yourself, was already a stubborn little fighter like your partner.

You’d found out a few months after being detained by Ross. After suffering near paralyzing headaches, bouts of nausea and intense food aversions for almost an entire week with no explanation, you had reluctantly let Natasha take you to the doctors. It was a Monday, just after three in the afternoon, and you were days away from entering your sixth month of pregnancy. Your sixth month of pregnancy with a little girl that you hoped would have Natasha’s heart.

You’d been forced to tell Natasha’s family over a phone call. After nearly fainting at breakfast with the team, your doctor had advised for a temporary bedrest. Natasha, already being overprotective without the encouragement from a professional, had placed you on lockdown for the better end of your pregnancy. Only when you started contracting did she let you stand on your own, hunched over the bed and wincing with every tight squeeze in your lower back, wanting nothing to do with her or anyone else.

Just after ten in the evening your baby girl joined your earthside with a scream like her mothers. Natasha had only rolled her eyes when you’d made that comment, bending down to kiss your sweaty forehead as the both of you watched the doctors clean her up and take her stats.

Natasha had taken to motherhood like she hadn’t grown up being abused and trained to murder. She’s gentle with her. Devoted to doing everything the best way she can, even if it means that at times she’s gone almost six days without a decent block of sleep. She was so worried about keeping the stress off of your shoulders, she’d let herself feel the brunt of having a newborn baby alone. You wished that she wasn’t so headstrong, that she hadn’t waited until she broke to tell you she was scared. You hated that in adding love to your relationship, Natasha and yourself had become so disconnected.

“She’s okay.” You whispered against Natasha’s shoulder. She’d finally come to bed after getting the baby down for a nap, but at every whimper she was threatening to leave your side to calm your daughter. “I promise, baby. She’s okay.”

Natasha huffs, twisting around so that her face is buried in your chest. She ignores the smell of spit up on your top, and the dried milk that’s seeping through your bra, and just lets your warmth, and your body, and your whispers comfort her. She’s exhausted. You both are exhausted. But the both of you are also so completely in love.

“How are you so good at this?” Natasha whines. You laugh gently, combing your fingers through her knotty red hair. You don’t remember the last time either of you has had time to take a shower, and her greasy, tangled hair is enough proof of the neglect you both are feeling.

“I’m not.” You shake your head, bottom lip downturned as you wonder how Natasha had ever let herself believe that. You’ve cried yourself to sleep in her arms almost every night for the last three days. Nothing about this transition had been easy for you. “Why do you think that?”

“You’re so good with her. You make it look so easy.” She sniffles. It breaks your heart watching Natasha cry. You can count on your ten fingers how many times it’s happened, but it doesn’t get any easier. Her chest rises and falls almost too fast for you to count each shaky inhale, and with every gasp for air you’re rubbing her back, encouraging her to keep going. To finally let you in.

When she doesn't elaborate any further, only presses her head into your chest, your lips fall to her forehead. “Honey.” You say softly, “You are the only one I would’ve wanted to do this with. You’re the best mama.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” Natasha sniffles, and you wipe a tear that falls down the side of her face. You knew that it would be hard, especially for Natasha. You knew that her own childhood would pose setbacks for her, but you’d never anticipated her being so blind to how good of a mother she is.

“Then what does it feel like?” You asked, beginning to braid a strand of her red hair. She’d been thinking about dying it blonde; thinking about changing yet another part of your lives. That’s all that seems to be happening lately. Change. Even if most of it was planned, you hadn’t realized how hard it would be to keep yourselves afloat. You could fight aliens, and androids, and supersoldiers, but being human would always be the hardest part of your lives.

“Like if I make one wrong move, what makes me any different from him.” Natasha sobs. Her cries shake her body and she clings to you. Every wound that she’s been working on closing and healing has just reopened all at once, and now her heart is outside of her body in a perfect little girl that doesn’t know how loved she is. She’s trying so hard to put herself back together, but nothing about this is easy or quick. “I want to be good for her.”

“And you are.” Your tone leaves no room for Natasha to say anything. You know she wants to. She always has something else to say, but hearing her talk so harshly about herself is soul shattering. “Natasha, you are the absolute best thing that has happened to me or that little girl. You’re as much of her mother as I am, and I couldn’t do this without you. You’re already her favorite person, baby. You’re the one that soothes her, and gets her down. She doesn’t want me until she’s hungry.” Light laughter follows what you say, and the heavy, burdening weight on Natasha’s chest lessens a little. It doesn't fix everything, and you hadn’t expected it too, but it’s reassured her that she’s not the only one with faith in herself. You believe in her more than you believe in yourself.

For this one, quick moment in what’s felt like years, you felt like Y/N and Natasha again. No life threatening enemies attempting to control mankind, no crippling exhaustion and vomit covered clothing. Just you and her. And then the baby started crying.

Natasha giggled a little through her teary eyes, pulling away from your warmth and your willingness to be her person. “I’ll get her.”

You smiled, watching your girls through sleepy eyes. Ten years ago, you never would’ve thought that you’d be sleeping with your enemy in a two story house that you own, let alone making her your baby mama. But, you would trade this for anything. Natasha Romanoff is the best thing to have ever come into your life; even if just knowing her has almost killed you too many times to count.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fic #mom!natasha romanoff x reader

605 notes · View notes

f1-birb · 7 months

Note

Honestly feel like I need to take a break from F1 altogether as a Lando/McLaren fan because that's how bad the hate has gotten. Like you can't even look at the comments/replies under his 100th race posts without "heHEHE no win" (which is funny because like look at all of the coincidences that had to happen for George, the only 2019 rookie to have a win, to get his first. And I say that as someone who likes George but without the Max and Lewis contact, odds are he would not have a win right now either). I don't know. F1 used to be something fun as an escape from the stresses of work and life but the fan spaces have become so toxic its frankly more stressful to engage with than just going to work would be. Which is a shame but given how they market themselves now, that's clearly what F1 wants F1 to be now too so it is what it is, I suppose.

I actually totally get that. I'd say maybe just take a break from the social media side, unfollow or block so you have to do specific searches if you want to see stuff, avoid comment sections on literally anything, curate your online space to cater to just you for a while, or equally if you need to fully step away do that too

sports are meant to make you suffer (mostly affectionate) not the online spaces around them

I will say that the thing that does genuinely make me laugh about the "haha 100 races and no wins" is like, it's not even a good diss? how many drivers even hit 100 races? especially over the last few years where we've seen teams be ruthless when it comes to driver performances, let alone hit 100 at only 23

this has gotten very long so adding a read more - more on the Lando hate under the cut if you want to

since F1 started, as of Qatar there's been 775 drivers and only 113 winners. 662 drivers have never won a race. That's more than 85% of the total number of drivers that have never won a race. Some of it is reflective of talent, but let's be real, in this sport machinery is a massive factor. Dominance has always played a role in the sport, look at Schumacher, look at RB in the early 10's, the 8 years of Mercedes, look at RB again now

specifically to Lando/McLaren - until this year, realistically, McLaren haven't had a car capable of winning races based on the car's own merit. As good as the MCL35M was and I enjoyed the 21 season, with multiple podiums and the 1-2, it wasn't a race winning car without a helping hand, and yes as unpopular as the opinion is that IS Monza. I honestly do not believe either McLaren would've won had Lewis and/or Max still been in the race (hate that if you want, it's my opinion and I'm allowed it)

Sochi is still a sore spot, it was a combination of a driver only in his third season, being fed information from his team that ended up being the wrong call, but even with the outcome, again it wasn't a race winning car on its own but it would've been if not for the wrong call, and only an idiot would say that the pole in qualifying and the race before the incident were not the result of an incredible performance from Lando

talking about this year, the leaps and bounds of development and the actual installation of said development is phenomenal and probably the most improvement I've seen made across a single season. and part of that is what's boosting Oscar's rookie year (again probably an unpopular opinion, not me saying Oscar's not great because he is, just it's giving Lewis 2007) and causing more heat onto Lando than is necessary or justifiable and last weekend proved it because they were exceptional circumstances (I won't go more into my thoughts on the weekend I don't want to get shot so I keep them to me)

even if we ignore everything above, and some people will, at the end of the day, the anons going round spewing Lando hate at Lando blogs are just at this point irritating, they're not upsetting, they're not big or clever or funny, it's pathetic and borderline concerning behaviour that says more about them than it does anything else 🤷‍♀️

#lando norris #<- am tagging this as i talk about him A LOT #sorry anon this was probably not what you were expecting #birb writes an essay #birb speaks

18 notes · View notes

oscarwetnwilde · 7 months

Text

The Stage - Thursday 01 December 1994

In Jimmy Nail's Crocodile Shoes James Wilby plays a music business Machiavelli, but his own rock'n'roll fantasies are played out well away from the public eye. Wilby, who plays Adrian Lynn in the seven part series, says that he is a passionate piano player and loves all music "from opera to rap."

But he would never dream of imposing on a wider audience the music that he and a group of friends belt out when they get together. "I play the piano and I have a friend I met at university who plays a guitar. We get together with some others as often as we can, four or five of us," he explains.

"It's not a band, we just play for ourselves. It's one of the most enjoyable things you can do, to play music with other people. But it has never occurred to me to do anything else, and even when I was younger I never wanted to be a rock'n'roll star."

As he prepared for his role as music manager Lynn, Wilby was given even more cause to maintain music as nothing more than a hobby. He immersed himself in the real life music industry spending time with record producers and A&R talent scouts in a bid to understand Lynn's world.

"I researched A&R men. One of the problems in the music industry over the last few years has been that everything is so short lived. There is a new little phase or fad every few weeks," he says.

"It changes very quickly. I think it's a tougher industry than mine, I think we can afford the odd failure. It does seem to discard so many people. I could really sense the pressure the A&R man I met was under."

His role in Crocodile Shoes is a departure for the actor whose best known roles have been far removed from gritty realism. In 1987 he won international recognition when he starred as Maurice in the Merchant Ivory adaptation of E M Forster's story about a Cambridge homosexual.

The film also starred Hugh Grant, Denholm Elliott and Billie Whitelaw. A year later he starred in another production of an English literary classic, A Handful of Dust alongside Angelica Huston, Alec Guinness and Rupert Graves and the Oscar winning Howard's End followed in 1992.

On television too he has been associated with a number of costume dramas including A Tale of Two Cities, Adam Bede and Lady Chatterley. So Wilby sees Crocodile Shoes as a perfect opportunity to broaden his repertoire of roles and change people's perception of him as an actor permanently in period dress.

"I like what I have done but as an actor I want to have the biggest possible range. I have done quite a lot of modern, middle class men like You Me and It for the BBC, but the big hits have been period films and people remember those," he says. "You need-in this profession to be in a good high profile film or series to change your image. That's what I'm hoping this will do. The profession does not like to make risky casting too often. There's a thin line between inspired casting and bad casting. And we've got a lot of good actors in this country."

He says that he enjoyed working with Jimmy Nail, not only in terms of acting but also because Nail wrote the series. "I've never worked with someone who has actually written something. It means that you cannot start changing things left, right and centre not that I wanted to, I don't think I changed anything my character said," he says.

"I'm very choosy about what I do and one of the things that appealed to me about this was the writing. I thought Jimmy was absolutely spot on with the words that Adrian Lynn had."

Crocodile Shoes' central characters travelled to America and Nashville to pursue their dreams but Wilby has yet to fall for the temptation of heading west to Hollywood in pursuit of the bigger roles.

"I will go there when I am invited but I am not going there to sit around for three or four months," he says, adding that he will wait "with interest" to see whether Crocodile Shoes wins him any new admirers.

#James Wilby #James Wilby Interviews #Crocodile Shoes #1994 #Today I learned that James Wilby liked rap #Archived newspapers

18 notes · View notes

fairly-fairy-shampoo · 3 months

Text

“In Every Universe”

⭐️Summary: Everything about your situationship with Yeonjun seemed perfect. There were no rules, no romantic feelings, and you stayed friends. But when jealousy leads to a falling out between the two of you, Yeonjun is forced to look inward and reevaluate his feeling for you as well was what kind of relationship he wants with you. The question is, are his feeling more powerful then fate?

genre: NSFW, FLUFF, ANGST

pairing: yeonjun × fem!reader × Soobin

Warnings: none

Chapter 9

Confidence is something that everyone associates you with. But that wasn't always the case. You were 17 when you started as a trainee. A foreign girl hoping to make it in another country. As anything at that point. A model, an actress, an idol. You didn't care as long as you were front and center. Your dream was to be a person and be involved in the arts no matter what they were. You were always complimented on being kind, easy to get along with, funny, and the one thing you hated the most. Beautiful. That compliment always made you feel worse about yourself. Even as a girl you were always obsessed with the idea of love and romance. Reading stories and watching movies and tv shows with the theme of it. That mixed with your creative imagination (and love of daydreaming and fanfiction LOL) caused you to have what your friends described as an unrealistic view of it. But regardless, all you wanted was to have some beautiful love story. All you friends had one, whether they ended up bad or not they still had it. And yet you never did. No first kiss no, no first boyfriend, no nothing. But you were beautiful. Stunning even. And yet never pursued. Hence why you hated the compliment. It only got worse as you grew older into your teen years developing a quiet figure. Sexy and hot were the ones you heard the most. Giving you the attention you desired but in the wrong format.

School had become too much socially and the idea of applying to college heavy on your mind. When a friend of yours was talking about an audition in the city looking for models, singers, dancers, and actors you thought this would be a good option to see if you’re cut out for this business. Not having much experience in bigger auditions, more of the local stuff (and your school shows) you went to. Preparing how you would for a regular one. Your one mistake was not really researching the company in detail. Nothing seemed shady so you prepared to sing a song and do a monologue.

When the day of the audition came you vividly remember going to the city with your dad, since your mom couldn’t. That was your first problem. Your mother - being a performer herself - always commanded you. You adored your father but he didn’t work in this industry like your mom did. He was claiming then that your mom could come in handy. The whole ride over you kept going over and you material, feeling anxious and scared but also slightly confident. You knew your abilities. And your father always said the grass will still be green, the sky will still be blue, and your family will still love you. Everything felt right as you hopped off the train and walked through the city with your dad and you took the elevator up to the studio floor. But as you opened the door, you immediately felt your stomach drop. It was painfully obvious you were the odd one out. Everyone there was Asian. There wasn’t a single other person here, let alone black. All eyes fell on you as you stood in the door frozen, not sure what to do! Maybe you had the wrong floor? Maybe it was the wrong room? But everything checked out. You felt exposed and like an alien with the way people were looking at you. You felt the tears coming until your father grabbed your hand and gave you a look. A look that said I'm confused too but let's just go. The two of you walked through the sea of people all with numbers and names on their shirts to the fold out table with a lady and a man. You wanted to immediately go to the woman but the way she looked you up and down made you switch to the man with a kind smile. He asked how he could help you and if you were here to audition. You nodded which made the women scoff. He gave her a look and handed you some paperwork to fill out and asked what you were doing for your talent. you responded with singing and acting to which he said…

“Oh? Not modeling ( you shake your head no with a shy smile )...well you’d be perfect. You're very pretty. Just fill this out and come back to hand it in. Then I'll take your picture ( you handed him your headshot ) ohh prepared are we?! Well I'll still have to take your picture and give you a number okay. You'll have two. One for acting and one for singing. Sounds good ?”

You felt a little more at ease but overall giddy he called you pretty. You're sure he had to but he seems so genuine. You ended up waiting a long time just to get into the room. And due to the overflow of people you had to do your vocals and monologue one after the other. They also cut your bars from 32 to 15 which sucked. When you finally got called in you were part of the last group of people. You really had to be good now they were probably exhausted and wanted to go home. As they call in the last group, you hug you dad and he kisses your head and tells you you’re gonna be great, as well as his mantra “the grass will still be green, the sky will still be blue, and your family will still love you.”

You were so anxious you were shaking. Sitting outside the door. Hearing the faint sound of voices singing and acting. Sneakers squeaking against the floor but little to no talking. You held your paperwork close to your chest as you closed your eyes and took deep breaths to distract yourself from the banging in your chest going to your ears.

“Okay you ready?”

The second you opened the door you were met with a table of men looking down at their paperwork speaking in a different language. A young woman who took your paperwork and came to lead you to the X on the floor and smiled walked to a small table left of the big one. There was also a man standing behind a camera. It was quite for a moment as they did not acknowledge you. The woman looked over at the men and cleared her throat, causing them to look up. Their expression quickly changed to shock. You smiled, said hello and stated

“Um hi …My name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm 17 years old….(silence) “ And given your expression probably not what you were expecting.” You smile and they start to chuckle with you which makes you feel a little more at ease.

The center man, the youngest of the table, starts to ask what you're doing. And you go over your material. You start with your monologue causing them to start laughing a lot. Afterwards you go on with your song. You pull up your tracking music and began singing. Really getting into your emotional headspace and just singing. Feeling every word and riff. By the time you're finished you realize they let you sing the whole song. You come down off your high and look around the silent room, you say thank you and prepare yourself to leave. Like you would normally audition. But then the older men ask two questions. “Can you dance?” “And do you speak Korean?” The first one you answer right away saying that you can learn! And that you're a hard worker. Honesty is not your strong suit but when you learn the choreography you can do it. Now the second question takes you off guard quite a bit and it was evident on your face. “Um no I don’t I'm sorry… Was that a requirement?” One of the older men goes to speak with a disappointed face but the younger one stops him. “No, not at all! Just wondering. Thank you so much, we'll be in touch.” He smiles and you go to shake their hands and leave. But as you head for the door you stop and turn around walking back over to the X.

“I can learn” The men look back up at you. The younger one asking you to repeat yourself. “I said I can learn.”

The first thing you did as you got home was properly look up the audition and company. Your mouth was hanging wide open when you realized there was a Korean performance company. You felt like such an idiot of course they were surprised they were looking for Korean-American to recruit. You’d listened to BTS and listened to K-pop songs here and there but not enough to know about this. You unfortunately heard bad things about the K-pop industry which made you weary. Especially since the company seemed small. Which also makes you wonder why so many people come out for such a small company. But it didn't matter much, there was no way you were getting chosen. You’re not exactly their target audience. Which made the call and email asking to meet with you via video call surprised you. After a few meetings and emails. You were asked to meet in NYC again. They finally revealed that it wasn’t a small company but a smaller branch of a bigger company BIG HIT. You did some research and you knew about them. That was the BTS company. This was a big deal and it was becoming too real. The story was they found you not only talented but very unique and they were looking to set themself apart from other companies. Wanting to Debut a new boy group soon and girl group but instead they thought of a female solo artist instead. This was all exciting but they wanted you to move to Korea to start training.

#choi soobin #choi yeonjun #jealous yeonjun #perv!soobin #soobin #soobin smut #soobin x reader #tomorrow by together smut #fwb #fwb couple #txt x black reader #black reader #idol reader #love triangle

11 notes · View notes

eriexplosion · 4 months

Text

Clone Wars - Rookies

Now that I've got a laptop I can actually type on... time to get back into the rewatch with AN EPISODE THAT WILL PAIN ME.

'The best confidence builder is experience' yeah assuming that you get to have that and don't just get brutally killed on your first assignment. If you get past all of that, then you can get confidence building experience.

Unfortunately, because of the relentless demands of battle, many young clones must join the struggle before their intensive training has been completed.

LIKE COME ON. I'M FERAL. THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET TRAINED FULLY AND WERE SENT OUT ANYWAY. Tragic how that Just Has to Happen, there's no other way we definitely can't recruit people that aren't clones and have volunteered for this. That's impossible, sorry.

*checks time* we're at about 40 seconds now, I'm going to be so normal about this. Sooooo normal.

God though do I love Echo. I LIKE THAT IT'S SO QUIET OUT HERE :D GIVES ME TIME TO CATCH UP ON THE REG MANUALS :D what a nerd. A precious, precious nerd. Who knew that in a few short years they would be running around with a squad full of unadulterated chaos like the batch?

Shout out to Sergeant O'Niner for extreme handsomeness, I just love the greying look, so sue me.

Also Obi-Wan getting after Anakin for not sleeping, this is likely such a long running argument. I seem to remember the ROTS novelization said something about how Anakin didn't sleep for pretty much the entirety of it. BAD HABITS WILL GET YOU IN THE END. One day you're skimping on sleep to find General Grievous and the next you haven't slept in five days and you've murdered the younglings.

I love "Good man, that Cody" how often does Obi-Wan just randomly compliment Cody the instant he hangs up?

Hevy is so unimpressed by the meteor shower, in one last bit of humor before clone boys start dying. O'Niner's death is particularly brutal with the POV shot of three blasters gunning him down, but I hate all of it 😭Wasting absolutely no time cutting the clone numbers in half, including poor, unfortunately named Droidbait. (I can't get over that name, I simply can't. Nothing says awkward like memorializing your comrade Droidbait, who was murdered by droids.)

Also the specific way the droid changes its voice, the grabbing at its neck and apparently physically forcing its voice module into a clone voice. Upsetting to look at! But worth it for 'we do not need an inspection! Everything's fine! :)' Maximum suspicious behavior. And Cody's main reaction is just 'you know what? I need this to not be my problem. Rex is in charge.' I feel like we underestimate the amount of Little Shit Cody can be when he feels like it.

Mid typing of course, Cutup got eaten by an eel. RIP. I do feel like this part is played a little too lightly, they call out Cutup's name and say poor Cutup and all but no one seems all that like, distressed, that he's gone. At the very least that's 25% of their remaining manpower! Show some concern guys!

Moving on though, this lighting is doing Cody's paint job no favors.

I do love how unnerving the droid pretending to be a clone is though. Droid like 'how do clones act? Gestures? They gesture right?' and proceeds to do it in the worst way possible.

Rex is showing off a great dichotomy here, with Anakin and Ahsoka he always comes off as the cool headed one that tries to do things by the book, but when he hauls off and shoots the suspicious 'clone' in the face, Cody is HORRIFIED AND CONFUSED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? One squad's voice of reason is another squad's absolute lunatic.

Speaking of characterization notes, I still find it a little odd that Fives has gotten the full party boy characterization of the Echo & Fives set in fanon when he's almost as rigid as Echo here, at least when set against Hevy. He introduces himself to Rex and Cody by his CT number and it's Hevy that fills in their actual names. I feel like he loosens up over the show, but he's definitely more by the book than people give him credit for. The real difference between the two as set up seems to be that Fives is a little more assertive (but kind of quieter) to Echo's soft spoken but chatty personality.

HANDPRINT THOUGH, HANDPRINT HANDPRINT. Literally if I could change one (1) small thing about TBB it's that I would give Echo back their handprint. I hate that they don't have it, it's integral damn it.

Rex breaking back in is still one of my favorite parts. Holding up the severed head up to the camera while Cody just goes THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. Give him some credit, Cody, he knows what he's doing.

"Permission to take point, sir?" "I'm always first, kid."

Every day, Rex is just out here being unspeakably attractive. (And Echo is being unspeakably cute. "I GOT ONE :D")

Rex yet again showing his insane levels by going straight to 'guess we blow the whole place up' as his battle plan. No chill in this man, none at ALL.

Also, the detonator not hooking up with the handset. I can't believe that Hevy gets killed by fucking. Bluetooth issues. Imagine that your life rests on getting two pieces of technology to fucking communicate with each other. And Rex and Cody's immediate reaction is they need to GO BACK AND GET HIM RIGHT NOW, no one wants him to sacrifice himself, that wasn't what he was supposed to do when Rex left him to fix the detonator. I'm sure he gets hella survivors guilt from that. He left the rookie behind, it probably feels like his fault that Hevy is gone. Just pile the problems on him, just do it.

Echo having a tendency to make questionably timed jokes is. Certainly something. Like, Cutup gets eaten by an eel - that's why the regulations say don't go outside! Hevy gets blown up - Hevy always did hate that place! Like. Baby. Do you have to say that NOW? They perhaps have some filter issues.

Triumphant ending! Everyone except these two has died horribly! But they have medals you see!

It's still one of my favorite episodes though. All clones all the time, lots of chances to fawn over my boys, I can never turn that down. Echo my beloved ❤️

#the clone wars chrono rewatch

8 notes · View notes

nicklloydnow · 7 months

Text

“For the generation of Americans who came of age in the shadow of the September 11 attacks, the world America had made came with a question mark. Their formative experiences were the ones in which American power had been used for ill, in Iraq and Afghanistan. In the Middle East more broadly, and for much longer, the United States had built a security architecture around some of the world’s most repressive regimes. For those on the left, this was nothing new, and it was all too obvious. I spent my college years reading Noam Chomsky and other leftist critics of U.S. foreign policy, and they weren’t entirely wrong. On balance, the U.S. may have been a force for good, but in particular regions and at particular times, it had been anything but.

Blaming America first became all too easy. After September 11, U.S. power was as overwhelming as it was uncontested. That it was squandered on two endless wars made it convenient to focus on America’s sins, while underplaying Russia’s and China’s growing ambitions.

(…)

Russia’s unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation, in Europe no less, has put matters back in their proper framing. The question of whether the United States is a uniquely malevolent force in global politics has been resolved. In the span of a few days, skeptics of American power have gotten a taste of what a world where America grows weak and Russia grows strong looks like. Of course, there are still holdouts who insist on seeing the United States as the provocateur. In its only public statement on Ukraine, the Democratic Socialists of America condemned Russia’s invasion but also called for “the U.S. to withdraw from NATO and to end the imperialist expansionism that set the stage for this conflict.” This is an odd statement considering that Russia, rather than the United States, has been the world’s most unabashedly imperialist force for the past three decades. But many on the anti-imperialist left aren’t really anti-imperialist; they just have an instinctive aversion to American power.

America’s low opinion of its own capacity for good — and the resulting desire to retreat or disengage — hasn’t just been a preoccupation of the far left. The crisis of confidence has been pervasive, spreading to the halls of power and even President Barack Obama, whose memorable mantra was “Don’t do stupid sh*t.” Instead of thinking about what we could do, or what we could do better, Obama was more interested in a self-limiting principle. For their part, European powers — content to bask under their U.S. security umbrella — could afford to believe in fantasies of perpetual peace. Europe’s gentleness and lethargy — coaxing Germany to commit even 2% of its GDP to defense seemed impossible — became something of a joke. One popular Twitter account, @ISEUConcerned, devoted itself to mocking the European Union’s propensity to express “concern,” but do little else, whenever something bad happened.

(…)

The coming weeks, months, and years are likely to be as fascinating as they are terrifying. In a sense, we knew that a great confrontation was coming, even if we hadn’t quite envisioned its precise contours. At the start of his presidency, Joe Biden declared that the battle between democracies and autocracies would be the defining struggle of our time. This was grandiose rhetoric, but was it more than that? What does it actually mean to fight such a battle?

In any number of ways, Russia’s aggression has underscored why Biden was right and why authoritarians — and the authoritarian idea itself — are such a threat to peace and stability. Russia invaded Ukraine, a democracy, because of the recklessness and domination of one man, Vladimir Putin. The countries that have rallied most enthusiastically behind Ukraine have almost uniformly been democracies, chief among them the United States. America is lousy, disappointing, and maddeningly hypocritical in its conduct abroad, but the notion of any moral equivalence between the United States and Putin’s Russia has been rendered laughable. And if there is such a thing as a better world, then anti-imperialists may find themselves in the odd position of hoping and praying for the health and longevity of not just the West but of Western power.”

“The “rules-based world order” is a system of norms and values that describe how the world ought to work, not how it actually works. This aspirational order is rooted in the idealistic aftermath of the Second World War, when it was transcribed into a series of documents: the United Nations Charter, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the UN Genocide Convention, and the Geneva Conventions on the laws of war, among others. In the more than seven decades since they were written, these documents have frequently been ignored. The UN Genocide Convention did not prevent genocide in Rwanda. The Geneva Conventions did not stop the Vietnamese from torturing American prisoners of war, did not prevent Americans at Abu Ghraib from torturing Iraqi prisoners of war, and do not prevent Russians from torturing Ukrainian prisoners of war today. Signatories of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights include known violators of human rights, among them China, Cuba, Iran, and Venezuela. The UN Commission on Human Rights deteriorated into parody long ago.

Nevertheless, these documents have influenced real behavior in the real world. Soviet dissidents used to embarrass their government by pointing to human-rights language in treaties the Kremlin had signed and did not respect. Even when fighting brutal or colonial wars, countries that had signed treaties on the laws of war either tried to abide by them—avoiding civilian casualties, for example—or at least felt remorseful when they failed to do so. Americans who mistreated Iraqi prisoners of war were court-martialed, convicted, and sentenced to time in military prisons. The British still agonize over the past behavior of their soldiers in Northern Ireland, and the French over theirs in Algeria.

The Russian invasion of Ukraine and Hamas’s surprise attack on Israeli civilians are both blatant rejections of that rules-based world order, and they herald something new. Both aggressors have deployed a sophisticated, militarized, modern form of terrorism, and they do not feel apologetic or embarrassed about this at all. Terrorists, by definition, are not fighting conventional wars and do not obey the laws of war. Instead, they deliberately create fear and chaos among civilian populations. Although terrorist tactics are usually associated with small revolutionary movements or clandestine groups, terrorism is now simply part of the way Russia fights wars. Although a sovereign state and a permanent member of the UN Security Council, Russia first began deliberately hitting civilian targets in Syria in 2015, including power stations, water plants, and above all hospitals and medical facilities, 25 of which were hit in a single month in 2019. These attacks were unquestionably war crimes, and those who chose the targets knew they were war crimes. Some of the hospitals had shared their coordinates with the UN to avoid being hit. Instead, Russian and Syrian government forces may have used that information to find them.

(…)

The Hamas terrorists paid no attention to any modern laws of war, or any norms of any kind: Like the Russians, Hamas and its Iranian backers (who are also Russian allies) run nihilistic regimes whose goal is to undo whatever remains of the rules-based world order, and to put anarchy in its place. They did not hide their war crimes. Instead, they filmed them and circulated the videos online. Their goal was not to gain territory or engage an army, but rather to create misery and anger. Which they have—and not only in Israel. Hamas had to have anticipated a massive retaliation in Gaza, and indeed that retaliation has begun. As a result, hundreds if not thousands of Palestinian civilians will now be victims too.

To explain why one permanent member of the UN Security Council and one quasi-state have adopted this kind of behavior, it is best to start with the nature of their own totalitarian regimes. But there is plenty more blame to go around, because the rules-based order, always pretty tenuous, has actually been dying for a long time. Autocracies, led by China, have been seeking to undermine or remove language about human rights and the rule of law from international forums for years, replacing it with the language of “sovereignty.” Not that this is just a matter of language: The Chinese have carried out atrocities against their Uyghur minority for years, so far with impunity, and openly conducted a successful assault on the rights of the population of Hong Kong. They, and others, have also indulged in deliberately provocative behavior, designed to mock the rule of law outside their own borders. Belarus got away with forcing an Irish-owned airplane to land in Minsk and then kidnapping one of its citizens who was onboard. Russia has organized murders of its citizens in London, Washington, and Berlin.

(…)

During its lifetime, the aspirational rules-based world order and the international community that supported it were frequently mocked, and rightly so. The crocodile tears of the statesmen who expressed “profound concern” when their unenforced rules were broken were often unbearable. Their hypocrisy, as they opined on distant conflicts, was intolerable. On Saturday, Russia’s deputy defense minister parodied this kind of talk when he called for “peace” between Israel and Hamas based on “recognized agreements,” as if Russia accepted any “recognized agreements” as a basis for “peace” in Ukraine.

But like the equally outdated Pax Americana that accompanied the rules-based world order—the expectation that the U.S. plays some role in the resolution of every conflict—we might miss the Geneva Conventions when they are gone. Open brutality has again become celebrated in international conflicts, and a long time may pass before anything else replaces it.”

“The history of Armenians in Nagorno-Karabakh was ended in the old manner of conflict resolution: siege, conquest, expulsion. After a 10-month blockade, Azerbaijan launched an attack on Sept. 19, claiming the enclave in a day and causing nearly the entire ethnic Armenian population to flee. Give war a chance, as the saying goes.

For Armenians, a classic relic ethnic minority whose Christianity and peculiar alphabet date to the epic struggles between the Romans and the Parthians, it was another genocide. For the Azerbaijanis, Turkic in language and historically Shia Muslim, a great triumph. Yet despite appearances, the conflict is not a Samuel Huntington-style clash of civilizations. Instead, in its emboldening of traditional regional powers like Turkey, scrambling for geopolitical spoils after the retreat of superpowers, it’s a harbinger of the coming world disorder.

(…)

In the chaotic aftermath of Soviet collapse, the Armenians undertook to defend Nagorno-Karabakh by force. Instead of poetic intellectuals, the wartime generation of Armenian leaders became militia commanders. They proved earthier and, soon, brazenly corrupt. Defending the country became their sole means of legitimacy, ruling out the concessions that peace would require. By 1994 the Armenians, mobilizing around the traumatic memories of genocide, succeeded in expelling scores of Azeris from the enclave. Last month, Azerbaijan got more than even.

In that project, it had a powerful backer: Turkey. President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, a master of vertiginous visions, has already tried Islamic liberalism, joining Europe, leading the Arab revolts, challenging Israel and negotiating peace in Ukraine. He now has another dream: opening a geopolitical corridor from Europe through Central Asia, all the way to China. This is the “Zangezur corridor,” a 25-mile-long strip of land to be carved through Armenia as part of a peace deal imposed at gunpoint.

Iran is not happy with Azerbaijan’s victory. As openly as the Iranians ever do, they’ve threatened to use force against any changes to the borders of Armenia. Iran, a millenniums-old civilization central to a whole continent, cannot tolerate being walled off behind a chain of Turkish dependencies. India, similarly, is on Armenia’s side and has been sending a regular supply of weapons. One spur for such support, no doubt, is Pakistan’s joining the Azeri-Turkish alliance. In the jargon of American lawyers, this opens a whole new can of worms.

Then there’s Russia, whose absence from the denouement in Nagorno-Karabakh was striking. Even after the 1990s, Moscow still remained by far the biggest supplier of weapons to both Armenia and Azerbaijan. Their economies and societies, above all the elites and their corruption networks, were until very recently molded together. What we are seeing now, as both nations slip out of Russia’s orbit, might be the second round of Soviet collapse.

(…)

That brought nearly all the perimeter of the former Soviet Union into Russia’s sphere of influence. Rebellious Belarus, its dictator dependent on Russian support, was in hand; so too the war-torn Caucasus. The large and oil-rich Kazakhstan itself requested Russian peacekeepers during a bewildering bout of street violence in January 2022. Strangely, the elite Russian troops soon departed from Kazakhstan. A month later, the whole world realized that they had been dispatched to Ukraine, the last sizable piece of Mr. Putin’s post-Soviet gambit. And there his plan broke down.

History has a habit of serving the same lessons with changed variables. In 1988, it was the dreamer Gorbachev stumbling over Nagorno-Karabakh that unwittingly shattered the world order. Today, Mr. Putin could become the second, much darker incarnation of the Kremlin aggrandizer going awry on all fronts. The consequences — from emboldening international aggression to reanimating the West under the banner of NATO — will be profound. As events in Nagorno-Karabakh show, the fragile post-Cold War order is giving way to something else entirely.

The Caucasus might seem strange and distant. Yet it might prove the wedge that turns the fortunes of world order. Trieste, Smyrna, Sarajevo, Danzig and Crimea were all such places. Let us not have to relearn history at the cost of yet another ethnic cleansing.”

#russia #ukraine #israel #gaza #hamas #nagorno karabakh #armenia #azerbaijan #geopolitics #world order #pax americana #war #wwiii #anne applebaum #shadi hamid #war crimes #genocide

9 notes · View notes

hockeylvr59 · 2 years

Text

Collide Part 3 || Sidney Crosby

Summary: Life as a single foster mom and a pediatrician didn’t leave much time for dating. But when Dr. Erin Lancaster becomes the pediatrician for Pittsburgh Penguins Defenseman Brian Dumoulin's baby boy, her association and quick friendship with his wife Kayla turns her crazy but quiet life upside down.

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: I am determined to finish this series and these two are finally making some progress. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see for them moving forward.

Warnings: Sexual tension? Word Count: 3,284

*******

After weeks of dealing with a slushy sleet mix over the city of Pittsburgh, I finally woke up to the start of a powder fresh snowfall covering the ground. It was clean and bright, and the sun’s reflections made the ground shimmer.

Just like the weather had turned, so had the gloom that started creeping into my life. And it was all because of Maisie.

That was the name of the little blue-eyed, curly blonde-haired girl who had cleared the clouds from around my heart and brought light and laughter back to my house.

After talking with Sidney at the Dumoulin's, the thought of stepping away as a foster parent had lingered in my mind for a day or two. Deep down I knew I couldn’t but it was so hard saying goodbyes over and over again. Knowing that this kind of pain was always waiting somewhere on the horizon. Then I had gotten a call about Maisie.

She was three and a half and had been living with her grandmother since shortly after her birth. But her grandma had been battling multiple sclerosis for the past few years and had finally reached the point where she just couldn’t handle taking care of the bubbly little girl all the time. On her good days, she could get by but on her bad days, it was just too much. With no other family to step in, she had made the difficult decision to seek alternative care arrangements. Maisie would still get to spend time with her grandmother, she would just be living with me. And the odds that she would end up leaving...well they seemed lower than what I was used to.

The first time I met her my heart just melted. She had been so reluctant to leave her grandma’s side and shy to say hello but once she had a few minutes to assess and observe, she had warmed up to me and begun chattering away. Foster kids, especially those who had been in the system for a while, generally had a hard time letting down their walls. They were often ill-tempered and didn’t trust easily. But with Maisie who had only known a loving home, once she warmed up she was loving and affectionate almost instantly.

In order to protect Maisie and ease her into things, we’d taken it slow. Starting with me just spending an evening with her and her grandma. Then we’d progressed into an overnight when her grandmother was having a bad day. It was almost Christmas by the time we had transitioned her to living with me while her grandma came to visit as opposed to the other way around. Over the course of a few weeks, Maisie had shared with me all of her favorite things. Her favorite color was purple, her favorite food was mac and cheese, her favorite animal was a cow, and her favorite holiday ever was Christmas.

Wanting to keep the little girl’s Christmas spirit alive, we did a number of fun holiday things. I had taken her to go meet Santa and we’d driven down to Oglebay to see the lights. We decorated my house with all of the lights and garlands and the tree that I hadn’t expected I’d put up this year while listening to Christmas music. When her grandma came to visit we baked cookies and drank hot chocolate and watched classic Christmas cartoons. Through it all, the smile on Maisie’s face was the real holiday magic.

And with snow falling outside, now just a few days from Christmas I was starting to finally feel whole again. I couldn’t linger watching the snow as long as I would like though because even on a Sunday, Maisie and I had somewhere to be.

~~~~

I’d lost track of time lately with my focus being on Maisie’s transition and was working through lunch to try and catch up on documentation paperwork before the weekend when my phone rang on my desk. Seeing ‘Kayla Dumoulin’ flash across the screen, I had closed the file I was working on and picked it up, asking her what was going on and how Brayden was with a smile on my face. She had quickly assured me that her seven-week-old baby boy was doing great and regaled me with his latest little quirk before changing topics.

“What are you and Maisie doing Sunday afternoon?” She’d questioned. I’d had to rack my brain trying to figure out if we had anything planned but there was nothing I could think of. “I don’t think we have anything going on.” I’d replied, reaching for my water bottle to take a generous drink.

“Good. Then you can come to PPG and skate with us.” Her declaration had made my heart race and I nearly spit my water across my office.

“Wait what?” I’d questioned.

“The team Christmas skate is Sunday. You’re bringing Maisie.” She’d stated, her voice bright and cheery. Pausing for a moment, I’d cleared my throat.

“I don’t think we’d be invited to that…”

“I just invited you.” Kayla declared, her tone becoming amused. “So you’re coming with Maisie. Noon. Sunday. PPG. I’ll text you directions on the easiest way to get into the parking garage.”

Before I’d had the chance to push back, she’d murmured hurriedly that Brayden was waking up and she had to go before hanging up.

~~~~ As I pulled away from the window looking out at the snow, my phone buzzed on the kitchen island. Checking it, I saw a message from Kayla providing directions into the player garage and reminding me that the skate started at noon and she would see us there.

Checking the clock, I knew that by the time I got Maisie’s backpack ready with snacks and drinks and got both of us ready after having breakfast that it would be time to get on the road to head to PPG. Moving to the bedroom Maisie had made her own with purple bedding and curtains and artwork taped to every surface, I gently woke her, accepting her good morning hug and laughing when she immediately asked if she could have pancakes for breakfast with snow on them. Maisie loved pancakes with snow, or powdered sugar, on them, and though it was not an everyday breakfast, we could make an exception this morning.

Breakfast finished, I sent Maisie to brush her teeth and hair while I cleaned up the kitchen and then moved to help her get dressed for the day. Though she wanted to wear a dress, we were going to an ice rink which required warmer clothes. She protested about how the clothes I picked weren’t girly enough, but eventually, she’d relented and got dressed before sitting to play while I got everything else ready to go.

In my own room, I’d thrown on the outfit I’d picked out last night: jeans, a green shirt, and a red cardigan, an outfit that was simple but Christmassy. Then I moved to pack Maisie’s bag and checked in with her grandma to see how she was feeling today. I frowned hearing that it was another rough day and reminded her that all she had to do was ask if there was anything that she needed.

With everything ready to go, I moved to get Maisie from her room, interrupting her playtime with a few dolls to get her in boots and a jacket. She repeatedly asked where we were going and I replied that it was a surprise not sure how she would feel about the day’s plans being that she was a somewhat shy little girl.

In the car, we played Christmas carols with Maisie singing along the whole way as best she could. Driving into downtown never failed to send a wave of emotions through me - marvel at how pretty the city I lived in was, but also annoyance and stress at navigating to the proper exit and down busy city streets.

Peeking into the backseat, I could see Maisie’s amazement at all of the big buildings around us from her wide eyes to her fingers gripping the windowsill tightly as she looked out.

Thankfully, Kayla’s directions had been really helpful and it wasn’t long before I was approaching a garage. There was a security guard there and upon pulling up I gave him my name before being let through.

Once in a spot, I texted Kayla that we were there and by the time I got Maisie out of her car seat and had her bag draped over my shoulder a familiar voice was calling me with a ‘hey Doc!’. Looking up I spotted Brian and let him pull me into a hug when he approached.

“You made it!” He greeted smiling his boyish smile.

“Don’t think your wife was going to give me much of a choice.” I quipped back, causing him to nod and laugh.

“And you must be Maisie.” He added, squatting down to the level of the three-year-old who was already trying to hide behind the leg of my jeans. ‘She’s a little shy.’ I mouthed to him before urging her that it was okay to say hi.

“You’re tall.” She whispered softly while taking him in. I could already see that she was going to be a little intimidated by the size of the hockey players she was going to be surrounded by today.

Brian just smiled however and shrugged saying the view was better from up there. Maisie looked at him with perplexed eyes before looking up at me.

“Would you like to see?” Brian asked and when Maisie nodded, he turned in front of her, still in a squat, and told her to hop on. After checking with me that it was okay, she climbed onto his shoulders and let out a soft ‘woah’ as he stood bringing her more than six feet into the air.

With Maisie settled, Brian led us through the halls, bending through doorways to avoid Maisie’s head until we reached the locker room. There was a bustle of activity in the room as he guided us to his stall where there was a few extra pairs of skates.

“Hey, doc!” A few of the guys greeted as they made their way out to the ice and I acknowledged them with a wave before watching as Brian spoke softly to Maisie explaining hockey skates to her and asking if she wanted to give them a try.

“That’s why we’re here,” I confirmed when she once again looked to me to check that it was okay. Carefully, Brian helped her get skates on her feet, tying them tightly before he moved to put on his own.

“You gonna join us doc?” He asked seeing that I was still standing in the middle of the room.

“Uh maybe later,” I replied. Focused on Maisie, Brian didn’t fight just motioned to the pair of skates beside him for me to at least take out to the bench.

“We ready?” He asked Maisie and after gathering her on his hip when she nodded, we headed down the tunnel and out to the ice. There, Kayla and a few of the other partners were standing on the bench watching as players and kids and staff all skated around the rink.

Beside Kayla was a car seat with a baby boy bundled up inside. Giving her a hug as she greeted me, I peeked inside and smiled seeing the baby sleeping despite the hustle and bustle around him. Looking back at the ice I saw that Maisie seemed a little nervous for Brian to put her down.

“He won’t let you fall,” I assured her softly. “But even if you do, it’s okay. Falling is normal.”

“I don’t want to,” Maisie murmured. Hoping that we were going to have a meltdown on our hands I tried to think of ways to soothe her.

“How about we skate just like this. I’ll hold you.” Brian suggested, chuckling softly when Maisie nodded slightly like that would be okay. With the two of them off, I settled down onto the bench just looking around. This was certainly a view.

~~~~~ Maisie skated with Brian for about twenty minutes before his arms clearly grew tired from holding her and he skated back over to the bench. Distracting Maisie with a snack, Brian disappeared back to the locker room to check on Kayla who had gone to go feed Brayden.

Maisie and I hadn’t been sitting there long before a broad body skated over, grabbing a bottle of water from the bench before looking up.

“Doctor Lancaster.” Sidney greeted, his voice a little breathless from playing with all the kids out there.

“Just Erin.” I reminded him. He nodded and swallowed another swig of water before looking back at me.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” He stated. “And who is this?” He asked, his voice growing softer.

“Kayla can be insistent,” I replied. “This is Maisie.” Again the little blonde next to me played shy and tucked herself into my side. “Maisie this is Sid. He’s friends with Mr. Brian and Miss Kayla.”

“Have you done any skating Maisie?” Sid asked, leaning against the boards. She just gave a little shrug and I sighed shaking my head at her.

“She let Brian skate her around but I think she’s a little nervous to skate on her own.”

“And what about you Erin?” He asked looking down to see that my feet were still in my outdoor boots.

“She hasn’t skated,” Maisie stated softly, slowly warming up to Sid.

“Do you think she should?” He asked her, whispering conspiratorily. Maisie paused before nodding looking back and forth between us.

“How about we make a deal…” He suggested to Maisie. “You come skate with me, I promise you won’t fall, and then we can get Erin on the ice. What do you think?”

“Promise I won’t fall?” She asked quietly and when Sid nodded she agreed, letting him hoist her over the boards to the ice.

“Lace-em up.” He murmured to me as he carefully set Maisie down, holding onto her hands before talking her through skating on her own. At first, he did more gentle pulling to propel her but eventually, Maisie started moving her own feet, her lips pouted in concentration.

I was busy watching her when Kayla and Brian returned, the latter stepping onto the ice with a small bundle pressed against his shoulder just skating tiny circles close to the boards.

“Is Maisie with Sid?” Kayla asked curiously. “So she won’t skate with Brian but she’ll skate with Sid…oh he’ll get a kick out of that.” She laughed.

As Sid and Maisie skated past he looked over at me.

“Are your skates on yet?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow when my face showed that they weren’t. “Come on. If Miss Maisie can do it then so can you.” He prodded until Kayla joined along, pushing me to put the skates beside me onto my feet.

Maisie skated with Sid for another few minutes before he picked her up and carried her back to the bench, carefully setting her over the boards.

“You ready?” He asked turning to me.

“Go, I’ll watch Maisie.” Kayla insisted, gently shoving me to urge me up off the bench.

Meeting me at the gate, Sid held a hand out to help me onto the ice. My first step was wobbly but solid and I took a deep breath. It had been a long time since I’d been skating, hence why I hadn’t chosen to get on the ice.

“Relax,” Sidney murmured reaching to take my other hand. His grip was gentle but firm as he slowly glided backward, easing me forward step by step. As the feeling slowly came back to me, he loosened his grip a bit more and we slowly skated around the rink doing first one lap and then another before my skate blade caught in a divot in the ice unexpectedly and my balance tipped flying forward.

Immediately, an arm wrapped around my waist as I hit a firm chest and Sid’s voice reached my ears assuring me that I was okay. Looking up, Sid’s face was mere inches from mine and his warm brown eyes glinted with concern. Breathing rapidly, I watched as Sid’s eyes flicked down for a moment before meeting mine once more. My heart pounded feeling his body pressed up intimately against him and after a moment I pushed back just a hair before swallowing hard trying to find my voice.

“I feel like that was my signal to get off the ice.” I declared. “And I really should get Maisie home for a nap.”

Sid hummed for a minute before nodding and wordlessly pushing me over to the bench.

“Thanks.” I breathed, stomach doing somersaults. For a minute it looked like he was going to say something but then he just started skating backward, waving to Maisie and thanking her for skating with him.

I could feel Kayla’s stare as I quickly untied the skate laces and slipped back into my normal shoes.

Gathering up Maisie’s things from the bench I mentioned getting her home to Kayla and thanked her for inviting us. Wishing them a Merry Christmas, I guided Maisie back to the locker room to change shoes and gather up our coats before we headed back to the garage.

Even as we stepped back into the cold, my body still felt overheated and I tossed the bag into the car before stepping to help Maisie buckle up.

Licking my lips, the flash of Sid’s mouth, pink and inviting filled my brain and I mentally shook my head trying to stop my brain from going down that path. It didn’t matter that I was attracted to him, half of Pittsburgh and most of Canada were attracted to him, he was an attractive man after all. He’d only gotten out of a serious relationship a few months ago and he was only being polite.

As I shut Maisie’s door the sound of the garage door slamming echoed through the garage and as I opened my door rapid footsteps approached.

As I looked over my shoulder, the rapid footsteps slowed.

“Erin…Erin wait.” A voice called out, correction, Sidney’s voice called out.

Pausing, a million thoughts ran through my brain all at once before vanishing into an abyss.

By the time Sidney had reached me, his hands were in his pockets and an unreadable expression was settled on his face.

Neither of us spoke and then he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“Shit.” He mumbled. “I’m really not good at this.” His sandal-covered feet scuffed against the floor of the garage.

“I uh…would you maybe want to grab dinner with me sometime…or lunch even if you’d prefer that.” He questioned.

It took everything in me for my jaw to not hit the floor and I blinked a few times. Was he asking me out? It certainly sounded like he was asking me out.

“Are you asking me out?”

Sidney stared for a moment before nodding.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to.” He added quickly, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink.

“No…I…yes…dinner would be better,” I stated.

“Great!” Sid stated, a smile growing on his face. “I uh…you should get Maisie home for her nap, I’ll get your number from Kayla if that’s okay and give you a call?”

Nodding, I froze as Sidney took a step closer, his lips moving to press a quick kiss to my cheek.

“It was good to see you again Erin.” He whispered softly, his voice warm. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Sid.”

Outfit:

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #pittsburgh penguins #pittsburgh penguins imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #ppenguins #019

131 notes · View notes

anonymousad · 10 months

Text

crowdfund review: Shelterwood

Shelterwood has been on my radar for a while, since last year when they were casting (I think it was last year, but at this point we're over midway through this one so it may have been more recently). there have been rumblings about it for a while, lots of people intrigued by the initial pitch of "suburban gothic horror", so it's already gotten a bit of traction. I was unsurprised to see it announce a crowdfund. even more unsurprised to see certain aspects of it weren't up to snuff.

as usual, the link: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/shelterwood-a-suburban-gothic

so let's start as we always do...

(Un)Realistic Goals

what is with this $26,000 number, I'm serious was there a memo that went around to all of you saying this was a magic number???

genuinely, I find it especially odd when you consider that this is the exact same amount that Arden season 3 was asking for, and that is a show that is very established with prior crowdfunding success to base it off of. and I still thought it was a lot to be asking for them as people who had proven to their fans the quality they would provide.

Shelterwood is a project helmed by Stephen Indrisano (he/they), sometimes known as Indrisano Audio. I believe this is his first project as a writer, but on their website you can find other credits for both acting and sound design. of note, he is part of the team for Re: Dracula. suddenly why they think that giant number is acceptable makes a lot more sense, doesn't it? has Tal advice written all over it.

you know we will come back to this number in the budget section, but once again I will say that a "flexible goal" is not a bad thing, but maybe it's a sign that you should set a more realistic goal and then have stretch goals on top. I went pretty in-depth on the reasoning behind that in the Arden crowdfund review (that none of you read), but again.

we'll come back to this number.

Video Time

exactly 1 minute long, a reasonable ask of any prospective backer's time. but it's not about the campaign. this is a teaser trailer that goes on the podcast feed with a video component. honestly, the video aspect is not bad, it's a live action attempt to show off the general vibe and energy with actual clips of the show playing. has the same amateur energy of a lot of short films I would say, but sometimes that's charming. and the clips used are good, they tell the story of what to expect and the framing of it.

but it's not about the campaign.

a brief mention at the end with a link is all you get, and honestly that should have just been saved for the text portion of the post. most ideally, that's the INTRO of your video and after that first minute you have a call to action that actually says more.

good information to include:

time frame of the campaign

amount looking for

mention the passion of the team working on it

you can even mention influences here, but like one or two. keep it brief if you're going to

technically the video never even asks you to support the campaign, just that it is "crowdfunding now" and you can follow the url for more details. not much of a call to action to actually get people to take a look.

the ideas they executed on in the video are done well, but you can tell it wasn't really thought about how to make this work for the crowdfund so much as it would for just making me follow the RSS feed ahead of launch.

The Story and People

What Is Shelterwood: A Suburban Gothic?

as stated in their description, Shelterwood: A Suburban Gothic is a 16-part "Docu-Horror Podcast" (not sure why they capitalize those words to be honest). up front this is really good important information that will be immediately helpful in telling someone whether they will be interested in the project. there are plenty of people in the community with strong feelings one way or the other on the "docu-series" style, and being this clear about it is a good thing. for some they'll be more excited, and others will know this isn't worth their time and be able to move on (which isn't really a loss because even if you got them to read further they wouldn't likely give money anyway).

also love to see the length of the series being stated clearly here. "a 16-part" length tells me the most important information I need about the scope of the campaign. in part because it implies that this money will cover the production of the ENTIRE series, rather than later having them come back and go "hey, we actually are doing two seasons of 8 episodes each so we need another $26k to finish the story". that better not be what fucking happens, I swear

moving on, we are introduced to the writer/producer I mentioned above, Stephen Indrisano (he/they) (along with a link to his website, thank you for showing that people can very easily add hyperlinks in these sections). this section doesn't say anymore about Stephen or their personal qualifications to be asking for this much money and trust, but if you follow through to the website you can see credits for things they've been involved with on the production side. it would be better to not have to go elsewhere or dig for this kind of thing, when you are asking for a sum this large in any setting there is an expectation of proving that you can be trusted with it. and that comes down to more than the people you bring on board to help, it matters specifically with regards to the showrunner themself.

so why should I trust that Stephen can create a product so professional it needs $26,000 USD? at this point there's no reason. but let's keep going.

very brief one sentence description of the plot, not a bad thing to have but it could be fleshed out a little more to have some of the interesting details that were alluded to in the video trailer. again, not everyone will watch your trailer, sometimes when I see a campaign I'm in public or otherwise unable to listen to something and so will skip something with sound. plus it's less accessible to not have a written component (though it does look like care was taken to make sure the youtube captions were accurate, something very easily overlooked by even full-time video creators), but that does still require someone hitting play on a video they might not be able to.

we get a short list of inspirations, including two other well-known podcasts and an iconic horror video game, and then a description of "one part Gothic, one part Found Footage, and one hundred percent terrifying." which is not a bad tagline, but I'm still thrown by the weird capitalization going on here, that might just be a me thing.

Who Is Involved With This?

here's where we get some cast and crew and the standard name dropping you might expect from this type of production. it isn't necessarily trying to coast on the people involved and their success, buuuuttttt kind of a little it is. honestly I don't blame campaigns for doing this to an extent, even fans of a thing don't always remember the names of the people behind it.

it is always a bit suspicious to see name drops without additional context however.

we all know you put The Magnus Archives first as an attention grab, even though you only have one actor from that show who did a very good job but wasn't at all responsible for it being so beloved. Alasdair is great, but people need to stop coasting on his willingness to do smaller projects as a way to make themselves look more important.

of the 8 people listed in the crew section (which when it comes to quality of the finished product is who tends to matter more), I recognize and can connect 3 of them to other projects, and only two of those in a significant aspect. now that doesn't have to mean anything, but for me it does make me ask questions and want to dig into what the rest have done before to get a sense of the quality of the final production.

a small thing: it is also weird that within the crew section Stephen is the only one not with a crew related credit. obviously we've already been told he wrote it, but I'm not sure why it isn't still included when two other people in that section have both a cast and crew role listed.

I will say that the graphic looks nice, but I've brought up before how IndieGoGo doesn't seem to have any kind of alt text feature and so when you have an image with a lot of information you should keep that in mind. all of these people are only listed on the image, not in the text. the only thing that gets the text with links out treatment is the shows that Shelterwood is bragging about their talent being from. just something I thought I'd point out, if it's about the people then you should highlight the PEOPLE.

as much as I would like to, I'm not gong to dig into each of the credentials of the people listed here, cast or crew. people deserve to be given chances even if they're new to the scene (every gig is someone's first gig), and my personal desire to know how "qualified" each of them is is ENTIRELY coming from the amount of money being asked for. for even a $10,000 goal I would not be asking all these questions, there is just a threshold after which I get really suspicious and feel that justification is necessary. which they try to do a bit in the budget section.

but let's move onto the next bit, I don't think there is all that much to comment on as far as actors except what I've already said about clout.

Campaign Rewards and Goodies

let's talk tiers and perks.

the Shelterwood campaign has a total of 9 tiers, ranging from $5 at the lowest up to $1,000. you already know what's coming when we hit that one

so first of all, I think the sidebar tier scroll is REALLY good. the images for each level are unique and eye-catching, and help add to the general feel that the show is going for. scrolling through them really helps paint the picture for the Stepford energy to expect from this fictional neighborhood. each image also good theming, relating to the different aspects of being part of a neighborhood, from "Architect" to "Licensed Realtor". very good job on that, it adds to the fun of the experience and telling your friends about the level you backed at. especially if you want to make jokes about this being the only homeowner adjacent status you can afford.

the tier descriptions are a little more verbose when you are actually looking at the options for selection, so I'm going to be referring to what is written there. I will point out if there is any substantial difference between that and the main text of the campaign, but for the most part it seems to just be an additional sentence and small wording tweaks.

NOTE: every tier includes all the rewards that are part of the prior tiers, I will not be pointing this out for all of them because that just gets repetitive and makes this even longer than it needs to be.

$5 PROSPECTIVE BUYER - a reasonable intro tier, and honestly anything lower doesn't seem to get many people on board anyway. a tip jar type $1-3 tier always seems like a good idea, but I doubt it's making up enough of the funding to justify itself when it comes down to it. but let's look at what's in this first bit of goods:

a pack of digital wallpapers - could be interesting based on the types of images we've been shown so far in relation to the campaign, and honestly it's a nice extra at this basic tier that a lot of campaigns will reserve for $20+

supporter updates through development - this is very vague and will probably come down to the way that all crowdfunding campaigns post updates. something that can usually be seen by people whether or not they backed your campaign, so I don't actually think this an exclusive anything for being a supporter. but at this tier price that's fine enough honestly.

supporter exclusive discord - perfectly reasonable to place here, helps even the backers who can't give much to feel like they are able to be part of and support the project as it becomes reality.

$15 NEW NEIGHBOR - the jump from $5 to $15 is a little odd to me, but I guess if you are trying to keep the number of tiers lower and already know your high point it is okay. personally the difference between offering $5 and $10 is a much easier choice to bump up as a supporter than going all the way to $15.

personalized shout-out on Twitter and/or Tumblr - to be fair, this was before the latest Twitter meltdown, so offering that was not quite as pathetic a couple weeks ago. BUT this is still a pretty sad upgrade for tripling your pledge?

$30 LONG-TIME RESIDENT - this has the same price increase issue as the last, there's just something about going up to $30 versus $25 that feels odd? harder to justify, sometimes numbers don't feel linear when it comes to money

curated recommendations - "everything you need to understand who we are and why" is a very vague description of what this might contain. I'm assuming we're talking books, movies, tv-shows, video games, other podcasts, and music that helped inspire the show. which honestly is fun, I don't mind that, it's just being extremely vague about it. $50 says House of Leaves is on there (no hate, it's a very important piece of architectural horror).

Haunted House micro-zine - UH OH. we all remember what this means, right? we all saw the absolutely PITIFUL micro-zine that went out to Re: Dracula supporters and with many of the same people involved here that is definitely the level of quality to expect (shoddy folding, clip art ass looking artwork, copy-pasted stuff from the web vs original content, misaligned printing, etc). granted, I think this is a PDF version (not that it specifies that itself, just based on the full tier description that says "a printable first step into the neighborhood"), but still. that zine was also at the $30 level and there were people really disappointed with it. I am not going to link to the Twitter thread in which one of the people involved with the campaign actively searched for and found a post with no hashtags or tags and proceeded to put them on blast to their own thousands of followers. but I want you all to know that I remember that happening, and it IS going to become relevant again at some point in the future.

UPDATE: right has I was doing my final checks of the campaign to make sure my images were up to date for this and things were still as I expected, an update was posted. an update that in part pertains to the micro-zine. I think everything I wrote above (and below about the physical version) is still relevant, BUT specifics of that will be revealed and discussed right before the end of this post if you want to jump down there and take a look at what I have to say now.

$50 LICENSED REALTOR - jumping up another $20 so that they can print out two sheets of paper and add 3 random stickers to send you

printed versions of the curated recommendations and micro-zine - you know what, they did at least learn that a printed copy of their zine was NOT worth going at the $100 tier. so they did make one improvement.

3 random stickers - stickers are nice and easy and can be sent worldwide for pretty cheap. a good thing to have, I just also usually like to see what these stickers might look like. in this case, that would be especially helpful because you are only getting 3 of the 5 designs, and it might actually help a backer decide to up their tier level because they really want to make sure they get the ones they want.

$100 DEVELOPMENT INVESTOR - for adding $50 to your pledge (doubling it) you can get some really boring shit:

all 5 stickers - adds the other two stickers! wow, thanks. totally worth it...

a signed, printed script page - a.... single page? for $50??? I'm sorry, but what the fuck are you doing. this is an INSULTING reward for someone giving you $100. that may not be a lot of money to some people, but especially right now during a huge economic downturn? that's just pathetic.

UPDATE: while it isn't listed here (which should be updated by them when they see this), as part of Campaign Update #2 (which I cover near the bottom of this behemoth post) there was an additional perk added to this tier and above: "a unique page of blackout poetry from a book that influenced the show" - I have no strong opinions on blackout poetry. I still don't think that this makes this tier worth it, but at least they recognize how pathetic it is that it needs a little more of a boost to look appealing.

as an aside: here's some examples of $100 backer rewards that I've seen on campaigns and think ARE worth it:

Syntax - both an annotated full script AND a personalized voice message from any cast member AND credit shout-out (not even counting the earlier included rewards such as an exclusive enamel pin and AMA)

Red Valley - a signed and bound FULL SCRIPT

Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason - an autographed FULL episode script AND a t-shirt

juuussssttttt some food for thought.

but let's continue on, I'm sure nothing else will be questionable here. can you feel the sarcasm coming off of me in waves, even across an ocean I hope you can sense it

$150 HOMEOWNER'S ASSOCIATION MEMBER - add another $50 for an exclusive poster (which honestly seems pretty reasonable especially when you consider how much international shipping is and production costs of a nice print. assuming the print is high quality, but you never know with this stuff until someone gets it)

an exclusive poster - again, would love to see a design. and maybe measurement details would be nice? I am really glad to see that the artist is named and linked to. the lack of credit I've seen on some campaigns for things they've hired out for is a really disappointing thing, so I am genuinely very happy to see a link to the artist's gallery. it gives a good idea of the style without giving away the mystery (if we want to give the benefit of the doubt that it is supposed to be a fun "mystery" what you will receive) as well as introducing people to an artist who may have other work they would enjoy and like to support. big A+ for that, seriously. the bar is really low on some of this shit.

$250 ARCHITECT - fucking hell, we're jumping up a full $100 now, time for the big leagues benefits

limited edition t-shirt - honestly I can't believe that they decided to put the t-shirt behind a $250 paywall. absolutely absurd, especially after I pointed out that it was included at the $100 tier for a campaign like Two Flat Earthers. I'm serious, do you know how cheap it is to print on demand a t-shirt? it's not dirt cheap, but it is NOT $250 tier level. I am unsurprised that at this point only one person has backed at this tier.

personalized thank you note from writer/creator - this is a nice reward, but again why do you think it is worth enough to be a $250 tier perk? especially when we all know that a "thank you note" can just be a one sentence thing with your name plugged into it. doesn't even say anything about being an exclusive postcard design or anything else that might make it worth it. Stephen might just go to Sam's Club or Costco and bulk buy a box of generic thank you cards to fill out.

$500 CHAIRPERSON OF THE ASSOCIATION - here's where things get a little more interesting

name a character or location in the show - this kind of thing is fine, my one hang up is just that sometimes these things are so fleeting or hidden that they barely qualify as a fun easter egg? we all know that this isn't going to be naming something important, and that's okay, I just hope that it's going to be naming something that is actually audible and noticeable at some point in the show.

one-of-a-kind "production ephemera" - this is a very neat perk that could also be really fucking disappointing. I think to make something like this appropriately exciting you need to give a specific example, more than saying "such as a prop from the video". especially when you use a term like "ephemera" there is an implication of it being something really neat and unusual and you should want to be selling that idea more explicitly. I do genuinely like this reward though, I think it IS relatively appropriate for this level of contribution and could be something really special. could be.

NOTE: this is the first tier where I feel the need to bring up that there are no limits on the number of backers at each level. I think for most physical goods that can get produced it isn't a huge deal to leave it open because a lot of that stuff is going to be made to whatever number is needed without much issue. but when you get into the territory of a "one-of-a-kind" good, there are going to be limitations on what is classified as being good enough to give away. if you get 30 backers at this level, but only 10 of the items are really worth it, you are doing a huge disservice. capping these numbers can also entice people to jump on them for fear of missing out on the one-time opportunity, so it can in fact be beneficial. for example, the Red Valley campaign I posted earlier capped their 3 highest tiers (10, 10, and 5) and sold out of ALL of them. granted, their highest tier was $328 USD (£250 GBP) and not $1000, but still.

$1000 TOWN FOUNDER - who could have guessed that the big $1k tier was once again a vanity Executive Producer credit.

Executive Producer credit - wow. I'm so shocked by this. truly this is the fallback reward of so many campaigns and is so fundamentally USELESS. stop trying to sell people a vanity title, it's gross and doesn't mean shit, and muddies the waters when it comes to the actual creatives who are involved. stop making me point this out. the fact that some people are willing to pay for this does not make it less of a skeezy scam.

[listed] in all show notes and transcripts - there is a typo here that says "listen" instead of "listed", not a huge deal it just made me do a double-take and wonder if I was in fact correctly understanding this reward. initially I read it as "oh cool, they actually get to listen in on some production stuff maybe?" only to realize that no. it's just more shit for the vanity title.

verbal thank you at end of all episodes - generally this is a nice tier reward, but again is it worth $1000? I also pointed out above that the Syntax campaign had this as a $100+ reward, which feels much more reasonable. this does again also bring back the thought of putting limits on the number of backers, because do you really want to potentially be reading dozens of names at the end of every episode? granted at this high of a tier that was never likely, but I did point this out for my Arden write-up which had it included at a tier far too low to leave open.

notably missing things:

any images - literally anything to show off potential rewards. I pointed it out at those tiers, but having a reward for 3 out of 5 random stickers and not showing ANY of the stickers? why would I even think about backing higher to get all of them when I have no idea what I'm missing out on.

any mentions of ad-free episodes - maybe they aren't planning to put ads on the podcast anyway, but worth pointing out that it isn't mentioned anywhere

early access to episodes - this one is usually a staple, weird to find it absent when it's such an easy draw

behind the scenes content - currently there is no indication that they have any kind of platform where they might share behind the scenes stuff, and it isn't a required thing. but I know a lot of people ARE interested in this stuff so I would think that maybe it could have a place. if there is supposed to be an implication that these things will be in the supporter-exclusive Discord server, then that should be clearly said because it is something that could convince people to support.

no add-on rewards - this isn't a super common one and I kind of get why they didn't include this, but when you have some of your physical rewards like a t-shirt locked behind these hugely expensive tiers no one is going to have them. but if you add a $30-50 t-shirt add-on people will buy it. and that's publicity when they wear it, when they post about receiving it, and when they see it in their own closet and think about your show. the ongoing Tell No Tales crowdfund has an add-on option for their very cute mug design, something I personally know people have added to their contributions

some general thoughts on these rewards:

mostly unenticing and overpriced, with nothing that really is selling them as a worthwhile investment. for all the money that they are asking, none of these tiers (particularly the high ones with the possible exception of the $500 one) have anything that would make me pledge above $15. things are either too far out of reach and expensive like the t-shirt or just plain not enticing like the micro-zine.

now that THAT is dealt with, let's move onto the imaginary world of how this money would be parsed out if the campaign were fully funded.

Where Will My Money Go? AKA The Budget

NOTE: because this is a flexible goal campaign, for calculations I am going to use the $26,000 USD being asked for to demonstrate the cost breakdown of the provided budget. this is reasonable given that by asking for this much they are claiming that this is the amount it would take to produce this audio drama. whether or not they receive that, that is the implicit claim.

here you can see the budget pie chart provided by the campaign (I would like to say that visually I am a fan of this weird kind of tv psychedelic thing they have going on in the background of their images). it is... a thing. not a good thing.

Before the Dive

but let's start with what the campaign says in this section because that is also very interesting for other reasons. let's highlight what I think are the most important things:

270 page script

3 years of development already

"we are striving for nothing less than fair wages for all parties involved"

this breakdown applies AFTER crowdfund and reward expenses are accounted for

that last one is particularly important, because my first reaction to this chart was wondering if they were rolling the crowdfunding fees and reward expenses into "production" since they definitely didn't fit anywhere else. this does also slightly complicate the math because I do not know what those expenses will come out to apart from the standard 5% fee that these platforms usually take.

I do also think that the 3 years of development is really important to consider, especially when you combine it with the claim of "fair wages for all parties involved". as it stands, this budget breakdown does NOT do this, because it does not take into account those 3 years of writing and development and pre-production in terms of compensation. this problem of not paying the writers is something I keep seeing, and I think it keeps happening because the writing has already been done and it feels weird to some people to ask for retrospective payment. but if you pitch a script to a director and a studio picks it up, you get paid for that time! you get compensated for the thing you wrote that was a gamble, and if this campaign is making money off of that 3 years of work, why should that not be compensated to an extent?

in a lot of cases this would be the most important thing for me to call out here, that discrepancy between claiming to want fair wages for everyone, but that only seeming to apply when it comes to the production and post-production stages.

now, 270 pages is not nothing. that's a lot of script to write. but it's also not that much script to write if we're being honest. there are shows I listen to that have hour long episodes and their transcripts are 80-90 pages EACH. so comparing that to Shelterwood could have you thinking this is only going to come out to about 3 hours of content.

I actually had to come back to this section and make some adjustments because it's only in the FAQ (where most people forget to look) that episode length is mentioned (40-50 minutes).

now then.

Let's Get Into the Numbers

it's time to crunch some numbers.

it's going to be a bit difficult to divide based on anything except the cast/crew list and the number of episodes that will be produced, but I will try my best to break it down like that.

there is also a bit of really useful information hidden a little further down in the stretch goals section of the campaign (which I am glad I made note of before doing all of my math).

in the "How Much Do You Need to Raise?" section is the following:

For this project to get off the ground, we need to raise $26,000, with a green light to start production at $20,800. But don’t worry, we’ve got some exciting milestones to hit before then! For every $5,000 of our total goal raised, we’ll be releasing a micro-sode in the world of Shelterwood

this has some VITAL information for our calculations, namely that the ACTUAL goal to start production is $20,800 USD, not $26,000 USD.

there is a slight problem with this however, in that a "green light to start" can mean a few things. because the campaign is still a flexible goal, even if they don't hit this number they will get the money, so I am assuming it does NOT mean that they have to hit it to start production at all. I think what it is meaning to say is that it's either hitting that number or the campaign ending that will be the green light.

however, there is an alternative.

this is a group of podcasters with some significant pull and connections, something we've seen some of them deploy for other projects. namely, Re: Dracula.

yeah, we're back at this one apparently.

the reason I bring it up at all, is because that was a project that IN ADDITION to their crowdfund had a $10,000 investment from Seed & Spark. now why might that be relevant? there is a chance that when Shelterwood says it needs $20,800 to green light the production, that is an absolute statement. but that they have plans to try and find other investors to help them hit it if the crowdfunding doesn't get them there. I don't have any real reason to believe this would be the case, Re: Dracula was very upfront about their outside investment. but it does feel like something to point out with regards to how this is worded.

either way, I am going to be doing the calculations for 1. reaching the full goal, 2. reaching the "green light" goal, and 3. as a per episode cost. hopefully these three ways will give a good insight into the actual budget being proposed here.

there is also something in this text about promised "micro-sodes" at each $5,000 hit. that isn't about stretch goals, it's about the whole campaign. so we need to factor it in somehow. luckily there is already the first one up on the Someone Dies In This Elevator feed (another perk of having Tal on your campaign is getting some of the promotion they only seem to reserve for friends) and so I can see that it is 7.5 minutes long (which, side note, it's kind of weird that Shelterwood isn't referenced in the name of this one? it's in the show notes, but I scrolled past it without realizing and then had to take a closer look as I was going through again to figure out which it was).

most of this feed seems to be populated by a variety of micro-sodes, lengths ranging from as low as 4 minutes to as high as 11 minutes. so this one is actual bang on the money for average length. additionally, we know from the FAQ that the actual episodes will be 40-50 minutes apiece. now, I did not know that when I DID the calculations because I didn't check that section until the end.

as a side note, before we get into it: I really appreciate it when campaigns do some of this for me and include their own actual numbers along with the percentages. maybe you don't want to make my life easier, I am in fact largely writing about campaigns that I think are not good, but still. even as a prospective backer it's nice to see the 1 to 1 of "oh if I give $100 that is paying for half of an episodes acting!"

so let's break it down with first the big percentages as numbers:

here's where that little bit of info about the micro-sodes is useful. I was going to use my calculations to basically guess at how comparable all of these were compared to a full episode, before I realized the actual expected episode length was in the FAQ. but then I realized that the phrasing of these goals is that they are already completed and just waiting to be published, about 37.5 minutes of content based on the one we currently have access to. only the stretch goal mini-sodes have NOT been written and produced. so I am actually NOT going to factor them into the costs, because I've already pointed out that we are seemingly ignoring work that has already been completed before the campaign went live, and this is definitely that. so thank you for making my math a bit easier I guess by not having to factor those in.

additionally, I did point out how the campaign says that the percentages will be applied to the number leftover after campaign related costs, but that is an impossible amount of money to guess. so for ease I will be ignoring it entirely.

(I actually just forgot to calculate what 5% of the total goal removed would change the numbers to, and I really don't want to redo all my math now that I've realized this. sorry if that makes me seem less professional with my breakdown, but I can only do so much and don't have all the time in the world to make this perfect. an impossible task as-is.)

so. let's see these numbers in full (in USD):

PRODUCTION - 10% - $2,600 (at the $26k goal) or $2,080 (at $20,800) - $162.50 or $130/episode

so first of all, "production" is a very vague term. to some creators this may or may not include sound design and other aspects of editing, but since sound design is accounted for separately it makes it less clear what this bucket means.

I think that we can get a better idea by looking at the involved crew, but there will still be some guesswork involved.

first up, I think we can assume that this does NOT include payment for writing the script. we've already covered that I think, but I just to explicitly address that since in my mind that would be in the "production" bucket for this categorization of budget.

next we have the producer. again, this is fucking vague as hell in terms of titles, means different stuff to different people. I do however think it is part of this section of payment, given the name, so there is one person.

we also have 2 directors for this project. now, I think a case could be made that the directors are getting paid from the actor pool, but what it really is is part of the production side of things so I am going to assume it is here. that brings us up to 3 people.

lastly we have the graphic designer, a role that definitely falls into production as it almost certainly entails stuff like promotional material, marketing, and unique cover art for episodes (if they go that way, plenty of shows don't).

so we have a total of 4 people to split this money, though not all of these roles are equal. but as an average payment, we're looking at about $650 or $520 per person. I do think that the rate for the directors compared to the graphic design work is not going to paid the same, though I don't really have a clear idea how either of those costs will compare to the role of the producer here.

however.

even if we were to divide this in a way that was VERY generous to the co-directors, up to $1000 each even, that is really fucking low.

if both are taking part in directing all episodes, at 16 total that is $62.50 pay each.

if they are splitting the directing work and each taking 8, that is $125 for the episode in question.

either way, it comes out to the same amount overall, which is not really fair compensation for what will come out to what I would guess is around 25+ hours of work.

that estimation could be really off, but based on my own experiences I think I'm even being a bit conservative on that point. maybe not everything is being directed, some of the smaller parts might be recorded asynchronously, but still.

for a budget this massive, to only be setting aside less than $3000 is kind of ridiculous.

moving on.

MUSIC - 10% - $2,600 (at the $26k goal) or $2,080 (at $20,800) - $162.50 or $130/episode

again, I'm a little confused by the crew list here. we have listed both a "composer" AND someone doing "in-show music". given the context of the framing device as a docu-series, I'm still left pretty confused? this designation of "in-show" kind of implies that there will be a separation between the more professional production investigative documentary-esque side and some other place that music would be. the only things I can think that that would exclude are intro and outro music, which is not hugely significant compared to the main content of the show that will be given original music as background.

it makes it a little harder to distinguish these roles, though I do believe that the "in-show music" is going to be a larger portion of the production, so will likely get a larger chunk of the funds allocated here.

but let's assume for a moment that these are equivalent roles, and look at how much each will be paid:

for the full project, that comes out to $1,300 or $1,040 each (or approximately $81.25 or $65/episode.

now I don't think that the per episode cost here is that valuable, considering music is most often something that is paid a flat fee for. additionally, it's unlikely that every episode is going to have unique music; a certain number of compositions will be done to cover the broad themes needed (i.e. music for action moments, for investigative moments, for emotional moments) and then reused throughout the series. it's not really possible to make a guess at the amount of music that is going to be produced, so whether or not this is a fair pay rate is unclear. I will point out that there is a stretch goal involving an album, so we're probably talking about more than 10 distinct compositions.

even so, let's remember that this is the same amount allocated as for Production, but only split between 2 people. which is interesting. as I said, music can have re-use, but things like direction and production usually cannot, so I would expect those things to take up more time overall. and yet the same amount of money is being split more ways too.

again, this is all educated guesswork. it isn't super common for podcasts to have entirely original music and it's also very nebulous in how many tracks are required to keep things from feeling repetitive and to match the varying tones in a story. this leaves us to kind of just take this section of the budget as a gut check, one that I wouldn't really think much about if not for the fact it is being valued at the same price as "production".

I do think it's also worth asking a question about the need for original music. for a theme and credits track I definitely get it, having something that is 100% solely identifiable with YOUR production is big and helps it feel special. but when we're talking about background music, these are things that are arguably not that important in terms of being completely original?

I do think this isn't that much of an issue here, the music budget is still very tiny compared to the rest of the proposed costs, but it is still over $1000 for something that could be achieved by using a more cost effective solution like a sound library. as an example, Epidemic Sound is $239.88/year for a commercial license, and you could possibly get away with the personal subscription at just $119.88/year (I don't endorse this service, it is just seems to be the one most commonly used). there are a huge number of tracks, more than enough to tackle sound design for a documentary-style horror podcast.

let me be clear: I love music, I love musicians, I think people should have opportunities to get paid for their talent.

but I think it says something about how highly that this production sees itself that they are pursuing costs that are arguably not NECESSARY (we will get back to this, have faith). the more the cost of the campaign climbs, the more you should be evaluating what is most important. if the music isn't integral to the story, how are you justifying that additional cost?

like I said, I don't think it necessarily applies here in the context of the percentage of the budget, but $1,040-1,300 is still a LOT for most campaigns.

but let's keep going, we're about to look at the majority of where the budget is going.

CAST - 40% - $10,400 ($26k) or $8,320 ($20,800) - $1,625 ($26k) or $1,300 ($20,800)/episode

from these numbers we can also break down approximate actor pay.

what we know for sure from the cast announcement is that there are a total of 27 actors (3 of whom are also crew). obviously there are going to be varying levels of supporting vs main, but at this point there isn't anything I can say about the breakdown of that besides a guess (in a cast this size I would personally guess that probably 5ish roles are considered main characters, with 5-10ish as supporting and the rest as flavor characters).

but let's just look at breakdown as though every role were somehow equal in terms of compensation:

that gives us about $385 or $308 per voice actor across all episodes, or an average of $24 or $19.25 per actor per episode.

again, I don't think this is an accurate breakdown, obviously our perspective character is going to be speaking for most of every episode and just from looking at character names in the cast list you can tell quite a few will only appear once or twice.

but when you factor in that over half of these actors are likely doing minor characters and getting paid probably around $25 for their entire contribution, that leaves a lot of money left.

as a quick guesstimation, let's say 15 of the actors are in this group, accounting for only $375 of this budget. that leaves over $10,000 on the table to be split among 12 people, most of whom will not be main characters and probably only make $100-250 each. even if I were to be generous with these numbers, there is still a lot of money left on the table going to the main actors in the group. more than there needs to be for it to be fair compensation.

I want to reiterate that it's difficult to do anything definitive with the information we have, but I think it is somewhat useful to do this exercise as there are some somewhat standard rates of pay within audio drama, at least for smaller sized roles.

I believe in fair pay, but there is a difference between what that means in audio drama and what that means in other voice acting career spaces. I think there is a larger conversation to be had about that, particularly as we keep seeing crowdfunding campaigns of this size that seem to be trying to make their project something that provides a "living wage" to the actors. this is not really a sustainable or reasonable expectation given the amount of work being done, especially when compared to the value that is being given to other aspects of the production process (again, why are the directors getting paid from a bucket that is so much smaller than this one?).

what this seems to be doing is trying to fit a wage mold that isn't really applicable. these are not union actors getting paid industry rates, these are just not those kinds of professional productions. there is something very off about the amount of money being asked here for a project that is not even that large.

but let's move on before I go on an even larger tangent about this side topic.

SOUND DESIGN - 40% - $10,400 ($26k) or $8,320 ($20,800) - $1,625 ($26k) or $1,300 ($20,800)/episode

finally let's address the elephant in the room.

Shelterwood is a project with 1 sound designer. just the one.

Brad Colbroock will be receiving around $10,000 just for this 16-episode project. which is a ridiculous amount.

the claim here is that Brad is worth 27 actors, and 4x the musicians and rest of production team.

oh, but what's this interesting note here at the bottom of this section?

look at that, there is an amount of recognition at the ridiculousness of putting 40% of their budget towards a single sound designer. let's dive into it.

okay, so first of all. this is an extremely unimpressive list of events. I know SEVERAL sound designers who are capable of delivering these specific scenarios in a couple hours each, MAX. if this is meant to show the justification by being the most impressive examples (excluding stuff that would be too spoilery obviously), then I am not very excited for the intensity and weirdness of the show's sound design.

this feels really basic for stuff you are trying to say justifies this high of a price.

I'm serious, this in no way convinces me that his work is going to be worth this much money.

standard sound design rates in audio drama are nowhere near $1,300-1,625 per episode, that is RIDICULOUSLY high. the most I've heard is probably around $500, and that was for an actual play which is significantly more work than your average audio drama episode.

I would like to know how on earth this is a justifiable number.

I would ALSO like to know if "sound design" includes as much as you might think it does.

there are a lot of shows where things like doing the dialogue cut is separated from the sound design aspect. I don't know if that's the case here, but as I'm still struggling to determine what the Producer is going to be in charge of if not the editing, all I can do is try and guess at what tasks are being left on the table.

"sound design" does not necessarily imply all parts of the editing process, and at a price this high that is majorly concerning.

THIS was the reason I decided to do a write-up.

there are a lot of things in this campaign that I think are suspect or just outright bad, but this was the moment that I went "holy fucking shit, these people have completely passed the point of being reasonable in their crowdfunding goals."

I am SO tired of seeing goals placed this high, the only thing it does is take away community funds and resources that could be better spread to a variety of diverse projects.

I'm not saying that Shelterwood doesn't deserve funding and to be made, I AM saying that Shelterwood asking for $26,000 when other campaigns struggle to raise even $2,000 is a big part of the fucking problem with audio drama crowdfunding right now.

this is a form of resource hoarding.

and it's the same people who keep perpetrating and benefitting from it.

I'm just really fucking tired of seeing so many interesting and diverse voices not be given the benefit of the doubt the way that people like this with connections to more established names do. because being friends with people who have a lot of sway DOES make a difference in the long run.

RANT OVER.

before we move on to stretch goals, just a couple small things:

I find it insulting that this team is justifying some of these expenses while still not compensating the writing that Stephen already did. I know I've already brought it up, but having crunched through all those numbers and had to see just how much more they are valuing the sound designer than the person who created the damn thing (which likely included already thought through notes about what the sound design should be), it is a spit in the face of all of the writers in the community. sound designers are very important, yes. but so are the actual minds and writers behind these stories.

Shelterwood is an interesting project because of its concept, NOT because of the promise of the sound design. I would listen to a low budget show with this concept and pitch because it sounds interesting, even if the production quality were barebones. because the actual value is in the story, not the presentation. I think these people have forgotten that.

I would also like to say that as part of a good budget section for a flexible goal campaign, I would expect to see something addressing if there will be changes to the breakdown if that goal is NOT met. before you address stretch goals you really need to talk about this.

now, it IS addressed, but not right here where it should be. it is in the FAQ section (where no one ever looks), so we will be dealing with it there.

I'm not doing a great job at holding back the salt, am I. out of practice forcing professionalism I guess, it's been a bit since I did one of these.

Stretch Goals

I briefly touched on this earlier during the budget section as there was information revealed here that was important for that.

but now let's take a look at it in full and talk about what's left.

Shelterwood has outlined 5 stretch goals:

at $28,000 is promised "off-week micro-sodes with extra scares added to the release schedule". this is an odd one to unpack, but it does reveal a small interesting tidbit in that Shelterwood will not be releasing weekly, most likely every other week. not hugely relevant, just good to know.

what I think IS relevant is that there isn't really a claim to how many of these bonus micro-sodes will be made? the use of the term "off-week" could imply that it is filling every gap in the schedule (i.e. there will be 15 micro-sodes added, one for between each major release and not counting the 6 that would already be out in the world as a side effect of hitting this level of funding).

in conjunction with that, this is only $2k above the fully funded goal, the implication there being that this is enough additional money to cover the cost of what is being promised. which seems pretty impossible at the prices we have been led to believe are needed by the budget section, the math just seem like it would work out to cover that.

at $30,000 the 7th micro-sode is written and released. I would hope that this work includes paying Stephen for their time writing, but the rest of this campaign has made me suspicious that he is not in fact paying himself for that work so I won't hold my breathe on that point. especially since we know that the mini-sodes will require sound design, and that the sound designer is very expensive.

at $32,000 we see "actor payscales increased!"

hm. well that's interesting. there are people involved in this campaign who have been VERY outspoken about how actors should NOT be paid more than sound designers and other parts of production. and yet here we are with a stretch goal that is only going to apply to actors getting paid more?

at $34,000 there is a Shelterwood Album. that's all it says, no clue if that means anything specific as it relates to campaign supporters? might just mean uploaded to Bandcamp for you to purchase if you'd like. to be clear, this isn't a bad stretch goal, I'm just unsure if it's actually going to be something that people get to enjoy "for free" after they've paid enough to the campaign to unlock it.

and finally,

at $35,000 the 8th micro-sode is written and released. I don't have anything to say about that that I didn't say about the $30k stretch goal.

moving on, I promise we're nearly done and all the hard stuff is out of the way now.

Other Ways To Help

always a good thing to have, though to be honest I don't know if it actually ever does anything? I think people are more likely to retweet or reblog a post they see naturally on social media, rather than getting to the bottom of a campaign spiel and deciding to write something up fresh.

giving some examples is a nice touch that makes it much easier, I hope that it is intentionally that they are all somewhat cringey (cringe can be a good thing).

I also this it's really great that there are already crossover episodes lined up with a few other podcasts (though I can't say I'm familiar with any of them apart from Someone Dies In This Elevator, and several seem to be non-audio drama and even nonfiction in aspects, which is an interesting choice for this project?)

I would also like to say that I genuinely LOVE the "more uncanny way to help" section. it is honestly the best part of the campaign and is a model for creative and interesting marketing. I don't know how effective it will be, but this is the kind of fun interesting shit that makes a campaign stand out. it's also a great opportunity for spreading the word if people actually do it. not because I really think people will go to a url on a random flier (I think if you want actual throughput that way you need to add a QR code instead of just the typed web address though, much easier for people to follow through), but because those people will post on social media which will get attention and then you can reblog with some in-universe type response and get free marketing that is engaging.

FAQ

we're done looking at the main bit of the campaign, let's jump over for a look at the FAQ, aka the most frequently ignored part of a campaign.

How long will the show be?

here is the only place that there is mention of the length of the episodes, which gives us a good idea of the full length of the finished product. we are told 40-50 minutes per episode (not including any micro-sodes) so if on average it's going to be 45 minutes each we can math that out to around 12 hours of content. pretty solid amount, I'm not sure why that is buried here though? to me this is important information, I would have expected it to be proudly presented at the top of the campaign when the 16 episodes was first stated.

What makes Shelterwood different from other horror podcasts out there?

honestly this is a good pitch, so good that it shouldn't be hidden away here. move this to your introduction, you want to be sure that people read this when deciding whether to give you money. there are a LOT of horror podcasts, and it's really important to set yourself apart from the get-go. talking about being horror and Gothic in passing isn't going to be enough, you need to really emphasize it.

this is ALSO important in that it is the justification given for the music budget that I was looking for earlier. granted, the necessity of this as being vital to the show will remain to be seen, but "in-universe songs that haunt the whole show" is the kind of thing that would make me more excited to give. highlight that in the main body of the campaign, make a point of clearly calling out why these things are so necessary to the fabric of the show. it helps you stand out and it helps you communicate their importance.

How scary will the show really be?

I honestly don't think this is really a provable thing, people will know if it's scary once they hear it. usually I would lean on the creator's previous work, but we have nothing here to look at for that. so like all things, it will come down to personal taste whether listeners find it scary. hard to quantify something like that, honestly I think the only reason this is here is to try and bolster Stephen Indrisano's experience and why you should trust them to make a good horror show.

the problem being that this isn't being put where we as a prospective backer are introduced to him, but somewhere most will never look.

What happens if the goal isn't reached?

now as I said earlier, I really feel like this should be addressed in the main body of the campaign because most people won't look here.

but here it is, and here we are. so let's talk about what this says:

If we cannot reach our goal, we will have to go back to our budget and start making tough decisions about pay scales, characters, and whether the show can be made at all while still fairly compensating our team. If we cannot raise the funds, there will be large delays in production until we can determine outside funding. We are dedicated to paying our cast and crew what they deserve for high-quality work.

overall, the way this is worded and framed is kind of vague? yes, there's no reason to get into details here about what would need to change, but it feels like a dangling threat that you are meant to fill in with your own worst case scenario "what-ifs". it's also a bit concerning in some aspects, because which pay scales are we talking about here?

while going through the budget earlier, it was very clear what work was valued most of all: the sound designer. now, it's also important to note that he is probably being paid a fixed rate that will be non-negotiable, most sound designers have a per hour rate they give and you don't really haggle that. so I don't believe any of that shortfall would come from his budget.

the next obvious pool is actors, which makes sense given it also calls out whether characters will need to be cut. this is kind of shitty, as all of these people are already promoting this project they got cast in and might get removed from without warning. this is a FLEXIBLE GOAL, so to get cut after putting in time and effort to help get more money means that you just did that labor for free that you would have been compensated for in some way before. just because you aren't paying cast and crew to do promotion doesn't mean that their actual pay isn't in some part FOR that. this is true in any job, if you were organizing a money-making event and then got fired right before it happened, the money that the company made off of the thing you planned is not benefiting you.

I think in a lot of these cases, it's production that takes the brunt of these cutbacks first. these are the people who feel the most investment in making the project happen, and the most willing to undercut themselves to try and make sure it does.

now then. the most egregious part.

we will have to go back to our budget and start making tough decisions about pay scales, characters, and whether the show can be made at all

"whether the show can be made at all".

this is a "flexible goal" campaign. that means that any money they raise is going to be kept by them, whether or not they decide they can actually make the show "at all".

a charitable reading of this would be that in that case they will refund all the donations and not keep any money.

but it's weird not to say it outright because all that does is make you look like someone who will try to get away with keeping the money, even if the project falls apart.

there's also something else I think we should talk about with regards to this:

I think that by creating a flexible goal, you are implicitly saying "we don't think we'll reach the full goal, and we'd still like to get some money if we don't."

if this is the case, then why aren't you creating the initial budget with that in mind?

I think I touched on this in the Arden post, but you should be presenting your "minimum viable product". what this means is that you are stating that for the project to exist it MUST have at least this. and I don't mean in terms of money, I mean in terms of cast and crew and episodes and time that can be given to create the most bare version of the thing that will get to the goal.

that might mean no original music, that might mean fewer side characters, that might mean half as many episodes.

whatever it means, THAT is what you need to be thinking about when you start asking for money. especially if you are already approaching it from the stance of "we will take whatever we can get", you need to know going in what that looks like. it is NOT something to be decide later if you don't hit the goal, it is something that needs to be known upfront and used as the basis for your decision-making.

doing anything else is irresponsible to all parties involved, including those trusting you to put their money to good use.

Campaign Updates

you thought we were done?

so did I god fucking dammit why are we not done yet.

since campaign launch there have been 3 updates.

the first is from about 2 weeks ago, just sharing that the first bonus micro-sode was released with a link and reminder that at every $5k another one will be released.

the second was posted at the end of the first week of crowdfunding (just over a week ago as of right now).

this update actually has something interesting that I pointed out earlier. at this point, the campaign decided to add another reward at the $100 tier and above, a unique page of blackout poetry. which is fine, except that again this is hidden away where most people won't see it, and the actual tiers and body of the campaign need to be updated to reflect this additional perk for it to do any good in convincing supporters to give money at that level. right now it's basically just a hidden easter egg reward.

however this post also alludes to something in the 3rd update. something I fucking hate.

can I just say how much this reminds me of those Instagram "follow and tag 2 of your friends!" contests? I can't be the only one.

but let's actually look at what this is:

We are pleased to announce that, effective immediately, we will be running a referral contest. What does that mean? In a nutshell, we will be offering one of three very special, unique perks to the top three individuals who can gather new pledges through referral links: 1. A walk-on part in the show, to be recorded when production starts 2. A personalised list of horror recommendations from the cast and crew 3. A character named after you, who will die spectacularly in Shetlerwood The rules of our contest are simple: whoever gets first place gets first pick of the rewards. 2nd place gets 2nd pick, and 3rd place gets 3rd pick.

so there is a lot about this that I think is bad, some of which might just come down to personal ethics and what I would be willing to do as part of a fundraiser?

I hope it's at least clear why I find this kind of thing gross and exploitative. in a way you are dangling rewards that are reliant on someone having a relative position of privilege. referrals only count if the person follows through and donates, which means that you need to be friends with people who can afford to do that.

I will say that I am VERY thankful it seems to be based on the number of referrals and not the AMOUNT that is garnered by them, but there is still something very gross feeling about this that I can't shake.

part of it might be that these feel like backer rewards that were withheld for the sake of this contest. like they were going to do this no matter what and they looked at the things they could offer and went "let's hold back these enticing things specifically for that". especially when the actual campaign rewards are really lackluster, to hold these back and have fans compete to try and get them is gross to me.

I fully accept this might just be a "me thing" that I find this to be icky, but none of us are original so at least one other person is going to agree with me. that doesn't make it the right opinion, it just reinforces that it is a valid one.

I don't think that contests are a bad thing, there is just something about a "referral contest" that makes me think of MLMs and other financially exploitative systems.

but now let's talk about the fun part of this update, which is the reveal of the "Haunt-Your-Own-House Micro-Zine".

I am happy to report being right about the quality of this "micro-zine". allow me to draw your attention to the fact that the printed "shingles" are not oriented correctly. you cannot convince me this was a design choice, I'm pretty positive it's just sloppiness.

would just like to point out that this is not a zine of any kind, this is just papercraft. which is fine, but that's a REALLY different thing. I don't want a bit of papercraft taking up space, a small zine that can slip onto a little bookshelf is much more desirable to me.

as an idea, it's not a bad one though. like this is a fun little thing for you to put together and maybe customize, but you should advertise it for what it is, which is NOT a zine of any kind.

but also, the ghost shown in the image is NOT part of it. I thought that was another bit of papercraft when I was writing the image description above, but no apparently it isn't even part of it, they just stuck it in there to make the thing look less boring. if it can't look impressive as the thing you are giving, maybe that's a sign it isn't a good reward.

before we move on from this, they also say the following:

The PDF for these will be sent out to all backers at the $30 level and above within the next 48 hours, so be on the lookout for that!

now I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that backers haven't actually given money yet. they can still cancel their pledge, but you are already looking to fulfill the reward?

I can understand this as a marketing move, get the thing in people's hands so they can make it and post on social media to help the campaign gain traction. but you are jumping the gun and if I wanted to I could back, get the PDF, and then fucking bounce now that I have it. just thought I should point that out.

no, I will not be doing that, I don't need this kind of clutter on my desk and I don't even own a working printer.

okay, one last part of this update: "even more bonus audio!"

here we get an acknowledgment that the campaign is not really on track to hit full funding, so they are adjusting their goals in terms of releasing additional content to try and attract more support.

Unfortunately, our funding has been a bit too slow to reach many of those [$5,000 micro-sode] goals... which is why we're lowering the bar and releasing new audio on our YouTube channel every $1000 instead! This will include exclusive micro-interviews with some of our iconic cast and crew about all things horror podcasting, as well as other terrifying glimpses into the world of Shelterwood

can we stop using "micro" as a prefix on everything?

so I am a little confused by the wording here, in the sense that "lowering the bar" is a phrase usually used to talk about a change to something, rather than the addition of new things? so I'm a bit unsure of whether this is going to impact the existing every $5k micro-sode goal, or if this is something entirely separate that is being introduced to try and get more excitement.

I think it's fine either way, I was just a bit confused by the wording and curious if they are considering adjustments to the micro-sode goals to ensure they will get to release all of them (since I think it's pretty clear the first 6 are completely produced and ready to go).

as for the actual content being promised here, it seems fine enough? I'm assuming that they are having to dig into some stuff they were hoping to save for later, and I hope that the "micro-interviews" are at least somewhat substantial enough to justify their existence.

as a note, it's weird that they hyperlinked to the first micro-sode, but not to their YouTube channel where these new things are going to be posted? there's nothing up yet (unless you could some Shorts) so I'm assuming they mean every additional $1k after the update was posted.

that is all for the updates because I am determined to publish this before they can put another one out. I need this to be done, and we are NEARLY there.

please bear with me, the last section is extremely important.

The Catch-All Section

here's just random stuff that I noticed or thought of but didn't have a real place anywhere else:

in the Cast and Crew graphic, why is Karim Kronfli the only person who's name is at the bottom of the image rather than the top? just a weirdly random inconsistency that bothers the perfectionist in me

please more images and pictures, they don't need to be much (especially since as I stated before we unfortunately don't have any kind of alt text feature for campaigns to utilize) but they keep people from getting bored staring at a massive wall of unbroken text

there were more than a few typos across the campaign (the show's name on one occassion). it's a good idea to put all your text in a word processor first to catch these things, you just aren't going to see it yourself the 5th time you are re-reading the campaign before publishing. let a computer check your work.

it would be nice generally to see more creativity when it comes to rewards. things don't have to be expensive or extravagant to be interesting, even at lower tiers. think about the world you are creating, think about what works within it. as an example, the WOE.BEGONE patreon has a tier at which the creator writes in-character postcards to patrons that when put together reveal a larger story (this is an example of something that I find really creative and like. I know it's not a crowdfunding campaign but whenever I think about rewarding listeners for their support I think about this). and he does this every month. that is an incredibly clever use of the world that show has built and connecting the fans to it in a unique way. you only have to figure out something like that once for your campaign, I believe in you.

Conclusion and a Larger Conversation

so why am I once again talking about a high profile campaign that is asking for a lot of money?

I think there needs to be a recognition of the importance of the context surrounding when you launch a campaign as well. because the financial situation right now is very different from the financial situation a year ago is very different from the financial situation of 2019.

as an example, let's look at the Afflicted Season 2 crowdfunding campaign that just ended in failure.

this was a FIXED GOAL campaign. they were asking for $23,500 USD and they only made it to $13,283, just over 50% of the way there. so they got none of it. it was all or nothing and the result this time was nothing.

and that really sucks for a lot of reasons.

I had some criticisms about that campaign that I kept to myself at the time, in part because diverse voices in audio drama is really important. Afflicted provided a lot of opportunities for marginalized creators to get established and share their unique voices. so often the campaigns that are getting met are the ones that continue to prop up the same types of voices and experiences as we've all heard before.

I am much more interested in the unique horror that a show like Afflicted is bringing to the table as a production driven by a Black woman than I am with hearing from the same types of voices we are used to. we have a lot of similar people making stuff in the community, and frankly a lot of our "diversity" is mostly driven by being white and queer. these voices are important too and there's a lot that is good, but that is the majority in this space. that's why we need to make sure we are getting opportunities to the people who don't have the privilege or connections.

this is a personal opinion, not one everyone will agree with. but we are better as a community when we do extra work to make sure that more varied diversity is highlighted and supported.

Afflicted planted their foot saying "this much or nothing" and took the gamble that most of these high number campaigns are unwilling to do. a gamble that they succeeded in last year to fund the first season.

the difference is partly that the economy looked really different last year. disposable income, rent prices, general cost of living. it wasn't great, but it was better than it is now and that MATTERS. we all know how fucking bad it is right now, especially in the US, so to be asking these massive amounts of money is tone deaf. in this case, Afflicted was even asking for MORE than they raised for season 1. you could argue some of that is because they already managed to prove themselves as creators who were good for the money and deserved that kind of chance.

but the fact of the matter is that people just don't have that kind of cash to give over and over.

which leads into my main point.

every time I see a campaign with this high of a goal I think one thing:

"this is hurting the community."

now, that may not sound reasonable to some of you, especially if you are one of the people who believes that numbers this high are justifiable.

when we talk about supporting each other from a audio drama creator standpoint, it is done so freely and with an understanding that new listeners isn't really a thing we're going to run out of. if I recommend 10 podcasts I like, that doesn't hurt MY show. it just helps the community by sharing things we generally enjoy and care about it. this is how you end up with the networks of support that we've seen in newer places like the Audio Drama Lab.

unfortunately, money is not the same.

the amount of money that each of us has to give to support the things we like is limited based on our individual situations. anyone recommending a specific crowdfunding campaign to give money to DOES have an impact on the amount of money left in the pool for others.

so when something like Shelterwood or Arden or Afflicted or Among the Stacks or The Magnus fucking Protocol asks for these amounts, this is ACTIVELY impacting whether other campaigns will succeed.

while The Magnus Protocol raised over £700,000 (or about $940,000 USD), DOZENS (probably more) of smaller projects were struggling to get less than half a percent of that.

that was money that could have done a lot more community good than supporting a blatant RQ cash grab.

we're looking at a different scale here, obviously. I do not think that the absolutely disgusting amount raised for one of the most beloved audio drama's sequels is directly comparable to what these campaigns are asking.

but it certainly did help them when trying to legitimize those numbers.

$26,000 is a LOT of money.

there are a lot of people who would be able to change their lives on even just 20% of that, be able to create new and interesting things if given just a little bit of support. and most of them are not asking for much.

but repeatedly having these large projects that position themselves as more worthy and better is hurting us all.

I think we also need to talk about what it means to pay "fair wages"? because a lot of people don't even make that at their day jobs. a "fair wage" is a capitalist idea that most don't benefit from, and it isn't necessarily applicable to every industry.

most voice actors do not get by doing projects they care about, they get by doing commercials and audio books and training videos for random corporations. because a "fair wage" in voice acting is not necessarily a set thing where hours and effort given always corresponds to money received.

all creative industries have trouble supporting that, this is a capitalism problem that you are trying to fix with more capitalism. you can't force the concept of "fair wages" into a space that monetarily cannot support it.

because what you are doing is creating an ecosystem where only YOUR cast and crew will get fair wages for their work. everyone else will have to do the compromise for YOUR sake.

there's that phrase, "a rising tide lifts all boats". I think people cling to this when they see these kinds of things, especially when they are successful. "isn't that good for all of us? doesn't that mean everyone will get more?"

again, no. money is a resource that is limited (for us as non-rich oligarchs).

the "rising tide" is not the ocean that freely gives and takes water in cycles. where we actually are is a dam, where water levels are carefully controlled and directed and distributed during times of drought. campaigns like this are part of that, they direct the water towards the richer and more privileged neighborhoods, the people who already have connections and opportunities.

there is less water left for everyone else.

THAT is what these campaigns do, THAT is why it is important to really assess what is necessary.

I don't think think that people shouldn't be able to make a living off of what they love, but I think that there are exploitative ways to do it and non-exploitative ways. these campaigns are exploitation in a way. crowdfunding in theory shouldn't be that, but it becomes that. especially when you start to enter the territory of these numbers, both in what is being asked for and what tiers are being presented as "normal and reasonable amounts for a single person to be giving".

we need to fucking stop this before we let these kinds of campaigns empty the dam completely.

that's it. that's all I have to say on this.

this is a conversation, one that I want us to have. I am tired of watching people who are already privileged continue to hoard the resources.

we can do better.

anyway, I think this campaign is a product of a larger issue. it is NOT "the problem", but it is a symptom of it. one that you are making a statement about in deciding to give or withhold money. it's not in my hands, it's in yours.

just keep what I said in mind, and maybe search the terms "audio drama" on whatever crowdfunder you like best.

take note of all the other projects you see, projects that have promise and talent and don't have connections that make them feel like they deserve to take half the pie home.

#anonymous ad #crowdfund don'ts #shelterwood crowdfund #I shouldn't have to keep saying some of these things #like c'mon #this took too long #oh my god and then I saw the updates and had to go back #obligatory magnus archives reference #the magnus protocol gets a mention too #and WOE.BEGONE #and Among the Stacks because I can't escape the only reason anyone cares about what I say #exploitative crowdfunding #“a rising tide lifts all boats” is bullshit #trust me because I pay attention to all this shit #even when I don't say anything about it #I am watching because I care about this community #go look up what small campaigns are running right now

13 notes · View notes