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tickle-bugs · 1 year

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For the warmup prompts can you do Beetlejuice and Lydia (platonic! I do not ship them romantically in any way whatsoever) with the dialogue of “I bet I can get you to say my name.” If not, I totally understand!

So for people who haven’t seen/listened to the musical the vibe is completely different from the movie LMAO less “this is our weird uncle beetlejuice the family won’t talk to him he’s wanted by the feds and can’t come within 500 feet of the house” and more “cool but still weird cousin beetlejuice who collects strange rocks, is always in danger of being actively actively on fire, and is wayyy too into dark humor”. It’s a good show! If you like comedy musicals with a rock lean to the soundtrack, you’ll probably like it. It’s got a Little Shop of Horrors sensibility to it, I think.

If anyone tags this as ship w/ Lydia and Beetlejuice I will crawl out of your screen like the girl from the ring and gnaw on your bones I’m so serious

AU where the plot of this show doesn’t take like. A week LMAO. Basically Lydia hasn’t said BJ’s name yet but she also hasn’t decided what to do with her dad yet. So they’re at an impasse. Lydia regularly goes to hang out in her haunted attic and lament because Delia won’t go up there, thus making it safe. Beetlejuice keeps doing Say My Name-style ad pitches to get Lydia to summon him properly but he’s not very good at it.

EDIT: FORGOT THE BODY HORROR WARNING OOPS!! It’s very mild but just in case anyone needs it <;3

Full-Time Spectres

Lydia’s life is far from conventional, perfectly so, but she’s started to adapt to the strangeness in the walls of her house. She doesn’t have the one ghost she wants most of all, but she’s got three that do just fine for entertainment and scheming purposes. She’s gotten used to the cold spots, the occasional flicker of the lights, and Adam’s habit of walking through walls rather than doors--he figured out that he could and never wanted to stop.

Some things she’ll never adjust to, though, like her attic being strewn with scraps of brutalized board games.

Monopoly’s been pinned to the wall with a knife, Ludo sits perfectly still on a shelf with suspicious-looking green liquid in the shot glasses, and a chess board hovers in the air, eternally aflame. It’s a massacre and she doesn’t know where half of these things came from.

“What’s, uh…what’s happening here?” Lydia kicks the door shut behind her. The door creaks open. She kicks it closed again with a frown.

Adam looks up and squints at the door. His eyes dart around as if he can see the schematics of it and diagnose the problem from halfway across the room. Lydia allows herself a tiny smile.

“Adam’s teaching me to play checkers.” Beetlejuice beams, which is unsettling in itself.

“Well, I tried to reach him to play chess, then a few other things…it didn’t go well.” Adam pushes his glasses up his nose and surveys the board in front of them. He captures one of Beetlejuice’s pieces with a triumphant little ‘aha!’.

Beetlejuice takes a long, pensive look at the board. Very thin tendrils of smoke curl out of his ears as he tries to decide which piece to play. Adam, sweet Adam, goes to help him make an advantageous move, but Beetlejuice shushes him.

“What are you doing?” Lydia sidles over to Barbara, who fumbles with an old lamp. She sets it down before she can shatter it.

“Well, it was going to be a surprise but…” Barbara gestures excitedly to a small nook in the attic. She’s rearranged various boxes of her former belongings to build a shoddy sort of booth. A heavy, ugly floral curtain hangs precariously over the doorway.

“It’s a dark corner!” Lydia gasps sarcastically.

“No—well, yes, but it’s supposed to be a kind of mini dark room? I don’t know much about them but I know you’re always taking pictures.” Barbara shifts awkwardly.

Oh. Oh.

Lydia cradles her camera in her hands, running her thumb along the outside. The pebbled texture is a kiss to her fingertips. If she concentrated hard enough, she can remember the feeling of her mom’s warm hands over her own, showing her how to hold the camera.

“If you don’t like it—“

“You made this for me?” She whispers. She tries to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Still workin’ on it, but yes.” Barbara gestures lamely.

“You…didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got nothing but time. Might as well use it right.” Barbara shrugs. Lydia bounces on her toes.

“I’ve still, um, gotta clear out all of our junk. Adam and I don’t need it anymore, not really, and you need room to breathe. I know it’s not much, but--”

Lydia crashes into Barbara for a hug. She’s icy to the touch, but her touch is the most comforting thing Lydia can imagine. Barbara pulls her in close, cradling the back of her head with her cool hands. There is no heartbeat in her chest, but Lydia can feel that it’s not empty.

A memory of her mother prickles at the back of her mind. She pushes it down.

“Do you want help?” Lydia pulls away and looks towards the dark room, ignoring the twinge of grief in her gut. She can see its potential around the edges.

“It’s your surprise! You can’t help with that!” Barbara gasps, affronted.

The curtain falls heavily from the hooks and thumps into the ground. A plume of dust kicks up and Lydia coughs.

“Okay. Maybe you can.” Barbara scratches her head. Together, she and Lydia hoist the heavy curtain back into precarious-looking hooks embedded in the wall. As they back away from it, silently begging it to stay in place, Beetlejuice sits up ramrod straight.

“Adam, Barbara’s throwing away your coin collection,” Beetlejuice gasps and points over Adam’s shoulder.

“What? They’re vintage!” Adam whirls around. Beetlejuice moves a bunch of pieces around, making a bunch of captures, and eats a piece for good measure. He winks at Lydia. She fondly rolls her eyes.

“You know I would never.” Barbara says. Adam deflates. She kisses his forehead. He grumbles a little but accepts it.

When Adam turns back to the board, Lydia has the express joy of watching him go through the five stages of grief in real time. He looks from Beetlejuice to the board in sheer despair.

“Why do you keep eating the pieces?” Adam puts his head in his hands.

“Because, Adam dearest, it makes you mad.” Beetlejuice pats his shoulder solemnly. Lydia snorts.

“Well, I’m officially out of games.” Adam pats his thighs and stands. He ambles over to Barbara and appraises the curtain. He puts his hands on his hips and starts muttering about supports and tracks. Lydia tries to follow along but her eyes near-instantly glaze over.

“Sooooo, Lydia.” Beetlejuice slides over to her. “Have you given my offer any more thought?”

“You still haven’t given me a convincing argument. Calling yourself ‘the worst of the best’ isn’t exactly a glowing review.” Lydia wrinkles her nose.

“These two like me!” Beetlejuice points at the Maitlands. Barbara gives a teasing ‘meh’ gesture just to see him splutter in offense. She laughs softly.

“I’ll admit, I’m coming around on him.” Adam chuckles.

“Thank you, Adam. Mwah.” Beetlejuice blows a kiss in his direction. Adam turns a little pink and goes back to working on the curtain. Barbara whispers something in his ear that makes him turn even pinker.

“They like anyone. I’ve met cardboard with stronger opinions than them.” Lydia scoffs, then turns. “No offense.”

Adam and Barbara both shrug.

“Fair point. Counteroffer: you hate your dad, I hate your dad, let’s kill him.” Beetlejuice gives his most enthusiastic jazz hands. Lydia stares at him blankly.

“Denied.” She pushes his hands out of the way.

“On what grounds?”

“On the grounds that you suck. Your fate hinges on me and you can’t even get me to say your name. You spend all your time cheating at board games because you need me more than I need you. That’s pretty lame for a big, scary demon,” Lydia says mockingly, curling her fingers into claws. When Beetlejuice gives her the finger, she gives two right back with a smirk.

“Lydia, be nice,” Barbara chides, goosing Lydia’s side. She yelps and smacks her hand away.

Beetlejuice gasps. Lydia slowly meets his sparkling eyes.

“No.” Lydia points at him. Beetlejuice smiles slowly, wicked and full of mischief.

“I’ll kill you. I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you--”

Lydia steps back, Beetlejuice steps forward, and all hell breaks loose. Lydia springs over a pile of Maitland junk and ducks under Adam’s arm. She shoves him into Beetlejuice’s path.

Beetlejuice simply picks Adam up and deposits him elsewhere like a Maitland mannequin. He squeaks and leaps out of the way of their chase.

The two of them circle each other around an unbuilt dining room table kit, Lydia just barely keeping out of arm’s reach. She bolts past a dilapidated spin-your-own-yarn kit and dives through Barbara’s legs to hide behind her.

Beetlejuice stops and visibly considers the consequences of doing the same. Barbara gives him a withering look. He tries to circle around her, but Lydia’s excellent at moving her around like a meat shield. Beetlejuice visibly starts scheming.

Barbara looks at Lydia, looks back at him, and slides out of the way.

“Barbara!” Lydia screeches in outrage but there’s not enough time to screech and run. He grabs her and pulls her into a bear hug.

“Thank youuuu, Babs!” Beetlejuice grins at her. She shakes her head fondly and honorably discharges herself from the battlefield.

“Hey Lydia…I bet I can get you to say my name.” He cackles evilly. Lydia hisses at him, but damn it, she’s already giggling nervously. He swoops his hands over her stomach, wiggling his fingers but not quite touching.

“B-Beetlejuice!” She squeaks and rocks up onto her toes in lieu of running.

“That’s one!” He singsongs, finally touching down on her stomach. She folds into his hands—unwise, really—and curses Beetlejuice to the high heavens and below.

“Think we should help her?” Adam leans over to Barbara. They both watch Lydia worm around in Beetlejuice’s arms, not making much of an escape attempt despite the volume of her threats.

“Nah.” Barbara moves a crate of nearly-unused embroidery hoops out of the way with tender care. The curtain collapses again. Both Maitlands sigh.

“Beetlejuice, you fucker!” Lydia growls, but quickly loses it to laughter. He’s doing this infuriating little pinchy-thing to her sides, one that makes her leap clear off the ground each time. She tosses her head back and cackles, her whole face scrunched with the force of it.

God, she hasn’t laughed like this since…well, it’s been a while. She’d forgotten that she could.

“Eh, that probably counts. One more!” Beetlejuice finds a deathly spot on her lower ribs and decides not to leave it alone.

“Beeeeeeeeeeeee--AHHH!”

“Hm, yeah. See, now we’re gonna have to start over.” Beetlejuice tasers her sides, right at that spot, and feigns disapproval. Lydia makes a noise at a pitch audible only to dogs and demons.

Crunch.

Lydia’s foot connects directly with his face in a frankly-stunning high kick. He drops her roughly. Something goes flying across the room and hits the wall with a quiet thump. Barbara gasps sharply and covers her mouth in shock.

Beetlejuice touches his nose—or rather, the space where it used to be, and a thick hush falls over the attic. Everyone’s eyes drift to the nose, now fallen among jars of the most rancid-looking kombucha on the face of the earth. It twitches plaintively.

He laughs, loud and boisterous. His lack-of-nose whistles as he does. Adam picks up the fallen nose and gags before tossing it to Lydia and wiping his hands on his shirt.

“Got your nose,” Lydia giggles weakly, depositing it into Beetlejuice’s hand.

“Nice shot.” Beetlejuice chuckles, uncomfortably nasally, and shoves his nose back into place with an awful crack. He takes a long, wheezing inhale and gives her a thumbs up.

“So…” He sidles close to her, bringing back the jazz hands.

“No.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” He sighs.

“Lydia, are you alright?” Delia’s voice curls faintly up the rickety staircase. She climbs up, but not all the way—Lydia can tell by the shuffling of her awful shoes.

Everyone freezes.

“Lydia?”

She opens her mouth to answer Delia and Beetlejuice squeezes her sides. She yelps and whirls around, but he doesn’t even have the decency to feign innocence. He just does it again, waiting for the precise moment she goes to speak.

“Y-Yeah, I’m o-okay.” Lydia wrestles with Beetlejuice’s hands, her voice shaking with barely-restrained giggles.

“Oh god, please don’t make me come up there.” Delia’s ‘whisper’ is anything but. Beetlejuice snorts.

“I’m fine! Just, uhm, doing spring cleaning.” Lydia calls back, stomping on Beetlejuice’s foot. He doesn’t even flinch.

“Okay.” A long, heavy pause from Delia.

“You can go now!” Lydia yells. Delia’s heels click quickly down the stairs, back towards the dreary living.

“You’re insufferable,” Lydia hisses at Beetlejuice, punching his shoulder. He holds his hand over his heart and gives a grand, sweeping bow. When he stands up, he smacks his head against the dagger in the wall. Lydia snickers at him.

He turns around like a penguin, never one to do things normally, and makes a delighted noise at the pierced Monopoly board. He pulls the knife out of the wall and pokes his finger with it a few too many times, fascinated with the sharpness of it.

He stretches, makes a bunch of vague measurement and aiming gestures, then lobs the knife straight upwards. It lodges into the ceiling with an enthusiastic ping! The blade warbles with the force of it.

Beetlejuice slaps the Monopoly board down on the floor and plops down in front of it. Adam bemoans the state of the attic ceiling as Barbara consoles him.

“Wanna play?” Beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the board changes, shifting into black, whites, purples, and greens. Graveyard moss creeps along the edges of the board. Monopoly components spawn into existence on the board, appearing in puffs of fog and comically-quiet wails of the damned.

“Sure.” Lydia sits opposite him. She pokes at some of the moss. It sprouts to meet her touch.

“If you get stabbed, you lose?” Beetlejuice casts a cursory glance to the still-wobbling knife. The blade shifts slightly out of the ceiling.

“Deal.” Lydia sticks her hand out to shake. Beetlejuice takes it with gusto.

“You guys wanna play?” Lydia turns to the Maitlands. Barbara and Adam look at each other, communicating in that telepathic way of theirs. Barbara grins and leads Adam over to the board to sit.

“I call thimble!” Adam reaches for it. Beetlejuice swats his hand. Adam reaches again. Beetlejuice swats him a little harder.

“You can’t have the thimble. I’m the thimble.” Beetlejuice pinches it between his fingers.

“Can I have the thimble?” Barbara leans close to Beetlejuice and looks up at him through her lashes. Lydia never would’ve guessed that a demon could blush, but sure enough, Beetlejuice’s face takes on the slightest bit of color.

“I sense that I’m being manipulated.” He narrows his eyes.

“Is it working?” Barbara smiles.

“Yep.” He slaps the thimble into her hand. She passes it to Adam. He beams. Beetlejuice rolls his eyes but his gaze lingers on them for just a bit too long.

“Well played, Babs. Well played.” Beetlejuice scoops up the racecar piece and frowns at it. Its tiny metal form melts and reconfigures into a small hearse. Satisfied, he places it right next to the cat piece—Lydia’s, of course. Barbara takes the top hat with pride.

When Beetlejuice jumps Adam for his extra get out of jail free card—of which there are a suspicious amount in Beetlejuice’s version of the game—Lydia laughs and swipes a bit of Beetlejuice’s money. Adam’s hiccupy cackles are the backdrop for Barbara robbing the bank in broad daylight, taking as many bills from the tray as her heart desires.

Lydia’s life is certainly very strange and painfully unusual, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. She can only hope that her mom will love being part of the attic’s menagerie of ghosts and ghouls as much as she does.

#this...this got out of hand #rewrote it twice so it might be a bit of a mess but i think i got to mash together the concepts i was leaning between #hope u enjoy it anon!! thank u for this!!!#my fics #beetlejuice musical #ticklish!lydia #lil bit of adam at the end too but im not gonna tag it #lydia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #beetlejuice #not gonna tag delia either but bless her heart #not explicitly ship but. i think adam barbara and beetlejuice hold hands sometimes idk #tried to include a couple easter eggs/references i hope ppl enjoy those hehe #also bj is just so much fun to write. funky lil freak

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hanelizabeth · 16 days

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Hi !! I was wondering if you planned on doing Charles Fairchild's and Barbara and Eugenia Lightwood's flower cards ? I know you finished the TLH ones but I would love to see those ☺️ please !

in all honesty - i forgot about them, oops! so yes, once i've finished the rest of the flower cards i'll probably go back and do ones i missed out!

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blamemma · 7 months

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oops forgot to do my monthly book post, anyway here's everything i read in september!!

a week of sunny weather spent in parks reading and having fun meant i got through a few more pages than i usually would on an average month!! a mixed bag, two new 5*'s and two disappointments ://

tokyo express by seichō matsumoto - 3* a weird little murder mystery centred on a lovers suicide!! nothing remarkable in the prose or the characters, but the descriptions of the scenery were really captivating...predicted the twist when a certain character was introduced but still a fun quick read!

young mungo by douglas stuart - 5* the open-ending really left me thinking for quite a few days, and i ultimately settled on the ending that sparked me joy and contentedness, but either way you interpret, the book is heartbreaking, achey and horrid portrayal of growing up as a young gay boy in scotland. many scenes in this caused me to grimace, a few tears were spilled, but stuart just has this natural gift of displaying humanity and emotion that you simply can't turn away from. the small nod to shuggie in this book as well was really touching.

the poisonwood bible by barbara kingsolver - 3* almost a reluctant 3*'s if this had caught me on a really bad week, it could have been 2*'s. i just feel it a) could have been about 250 pages shorter and b) some of the paths that the girls followed really didn't suit their characterisation or their past actions. something between me and this book really didn't click, but there were some beautiful passages and i think it's discussion on how far your love can go for family was very interesting.

those who leave and those who stay by elena ferrante - 5* ferrante's strongest novel in the neapolitan quartet so far. spell-binding, visceral, fast-paced, stunningly explored. "She answered: 'Each of us narrates our life as it suits us'" ooooooooft. many moments in this book that i simply wanted to scream at either Elena or Lila. You really begin to see the quartet take shape in this book, as the most nonsensical parts of Book One and Two seemingly reappear to become areas that shift the story along and make waves and impacts in the girls lives. You really begin to see the planning Ferrante has taken to mould these books here

yellowface by r.f. kuang - 2* a big disappointment for me. it all felt a bit meta and like kuang was taking out a personal vendetta and addressing everyone who had ever critiqued her and her work, not creating a clever novel. something just didn't hit here and it left a funny taste in my mouth after finishing it. also the twist was so obvious and the ending so dumb and cringy to read imo....

#books #a fun month :D

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librarian-lisa-official · 6 months

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idk if you saw but i thiiiink barbara replied to your ask? the mod forgot to tag you i think.

//Oh! I’ll go check it out right now oops

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dairy-farmer · 2 years

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Long ago I read an analysis abt women in comics and how they're relegated to be the gf of, the wife of and everything, even wonder woman or black canary. And for example they use various heros like superman or nightwing and says something like "I they were girs, they won't have so interesting arcs or historys". And they use timy for example saying that if he were a girl he would end up being Jason's or Kon's love interest. And I think that's beautiful. i can't thinking abt a plot:(

that sounds like an incredible analysis!!! and it would definitely make sense given how comics themselves were very much created with only male protagonists in mind. women, as is what often happens in media, are afterthoughts, and therefore given more support roles.

i remember seeing one those 'top ten worst things this hero has done' and it was between superman and lois lane and the worst things she's done. today lois has a much better reputation, she's been "modernized". but when the audience was meant more for boys, she was treated very poorly and it was framed as being justified because she was a woman behaving "above her station", by being incredibly nosy, getting herself into trouble and having to be saved. honestly you could make the original lois into a 10-year-old and nothing notable about her personality would've changed because she was written to be this bratty woman who greatly overestimated her place in the world and desperately wanted to 'chain' superman to her by making him marry her.

and characters like catwoman!! she was originally a villain, like just a straight-up villain! until they wrote her to become bruce's love interest. it'd be like if in fifty years they wrote poison ivy to be what catwoman is today. catwoman couldn't exist as just a 'villain'. just like how lois will never really shed the 'i need superman to save me' she is the OG "damsal in distress". she is the butt of the joke when people call someone a damsal in distress. and that will never really go away from her portrayal (even if it becomes a throw away or a punchline).

i fully agree with what you say about superman or nightwing not getting nearly as interesting arcs if they were women. sure women in comics, even old comics have gotten very interesting characterizations but nothing like what superman and nightwing have gotten.

and tim!!!! he'd absolutely be in a position where he'd be someone's girlfriend if he were a girl and that would become his entire identity in comics. you can see it becayse barbara has some impressive accomplishments in comics but yet a lot of people aside from some bat and barbara stans regale her as just nightwing's 'on again off again' girlfriend who loses relevance without nightwing or she's simply there to be eye-candy for the audience (much like catwoman).

the same thing would happen to tim.

for example if he was, say, hit by some beam or magic that permanently changed his sex. he was now physically female and there was no way to alter it. dc writing would jump on that immediatly and change so many of his established relationships in a second.

like if there's one genre of fic that i'd say i really dislike it's the genderbend/transformation ones.

maybe it's because i saw than in like the 2010s and they were all 'character A has become a girl now through some quirky hijinks!!! he is now a SHE and everyone changes the use of pronouns instantly with absolutely no one apologizing for it aside from some 'oops! i guess i just forgot! it's just...you look like a girl now! :) so that is what i will call you :) ya know? even though you were raised a boy :) socialized as a boy :) very much have a boy brain :) and were a boy 20 minutes ago and still consider yourself one '.

every single time without fail that's how the fic would pan out and at 10 years old it pissed me off to no end and i had no idea why until a few years later.

within those fics there's this common thing that happens, i guess you could call it a 'trope'. and it's where every single female character will band together and steal character A's clothes and replace it with dresses and ribbons and even lingerie. maybe they'll even kidnap character A for a 'makeover' and all the male characters they were either friends with or who hated them as a boy are now *blushing* and embarressed like they've never seen a girl before. or worse, they'll undress in front of character A because he's 'one of the girls now!' much to his GREAT discomfort because even if they call him a girl...he's not. he's still a boy. and he's getting essentially hazed and humiliated by women that he was previously friends with, respected, and treated very well.

now don't get me wrong dysphoria can very easily be written as something erotic and maybe sex/gender transformation fics have changed from...THIS.

one scenario i CAN imagine is tim being permanently turned into a girl (he can't reverse it) and now has to struggle with all his sudden gender and sexuality issues. (is he still a cis boy? is he trans now? is he still straight? gay?) but what's worse than the identity issues he's now facing is the shift in treatment from his friends, family, and acquaintances. he thought they'd be mostly normal about this change because their lives are weird and they've learned to roll with the punches but he learns that's not true when he goes to hang out with kon for the first time since the transformation.

they've always been close friends. they'd have frequent sleepovers and mess around with each other but now people treated their dynamic...differently. ma didn't let him and kon share a room anymore when he'd stay the night. bruce made him keep his door open when kon came over. even though nothing had ever even happened between them before!!!! but now he had a pussy and what? HE can't be trusted? KON can't be trusted?

if he and kon were going to fuck they would've done it ages ago and not now that tim had a pussy!!!!

the frustration tim would feel is unimaginable.

then changes occur with jason too!!! before the change, he'd smack tim around just for the sake of it. he'd show up during tim's patrol schedule and beat the shit out of him just cuz he was having a bad week. or just because he felt like it.

now???

jason won't lay a finger on him. even when tim mouthes off to him and says something that would normally earn him a punch.

stephanie 'jokingly' (but not really) takes tim out underwear shopping much to his discomfort (tim is still using his 'old' clothes) and tries to get him into girl clothes. and tim knows she doesn't have a lot of friends who are girls, HE KNOWS THAT. stephanie was always too brutish and loud, and 'insufferable' for most girls and he knew that hurt her because her only friend was cass. but that doesn't stop him from snapping at her and leaving her in the middle of a busy mall because he got irritated for the fifth time in an hour with her trying to get him to buy a dress so they could go clubbing together.

he feels for her not having any friends who are girls, he does. but it's not his job to fill that hole.

damian's insults are less about his skills and more about him being a 'woman' now even though tim's never claimed to be one and doesn't plan on ever being one.

even dick is weird about it. and that hurts more than anything because he wasn't. at first.

but then they were wrestling on the couch one day like they sometimes do and his hand coasted over tim's abs and squeezed tim's tit.

tim hadn't even noticed.

he was too focused on trying to get dick into a headlock but dick had frozen and leapt away from him like his skin was made of acid.

tim didn't use bras. why would he?

tits have been free since the dawn of time. so it's not like it was vital to his health or anything.

but...after that slip up on the couch dick stopped doing anything that required too much...hands on interaction between the two of them. hugs were now squeezes on his shoulders because if dick tugged him close he'd be able to feel tim's tits squish between them and that....made him uncomfortable now.

just tim being forcibly transitioned and now having to navigate the change in dynamic and power in all his relationships!! i think it'd be an absolutely fascinating character study and analysis on gender, sexuality, and society!!!!

(sorry im in the middle of an essay for class so i've got a more academic brain on tonight)

#anonymous #asks #answered asks

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teyvampt · 7 months

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Full Open Character List

Aether

Paimon

Albedo

Amber

Barbara

Bennet

Diona

Dorian

Eula

Fischl

Jean

Kaeya

Klee

Lisa

Mika

Mona

Noelle

Razor

Rosaria

Sucrose

Vanessa

Baizhu

Beidou

Chongyun

Ganyu

Hu Tao

Keqing

Ningguang

Qiqi

Shenhe

Xiangling

Xiao

Xingqiu

Xinyan

Yanfei

Yaoyao

Yelan

Yunjin

Zhongli

Arataki Itto

Gorou

Kaedehara Kazuha

Kamisato Ayaka

Kamisato Ayato

Kirara

Kujou Sara

Kuki Shnobu

Sangonomiya Kokomi

Sayu

Shikanoin Heizou

Thoma

Tomo

Yae Miko

Yoimiya

AlHaitham

Candace

Collei

Cyno

Dehya

Dori

Dunyarzad

Faruszan

Jeht

Kaveh

Layla

Rana

Nahida

Nilou

Freminet

Lynette

Lyney

Neuvillette-Reserved

Wriothesley

Navia

Chlorinde

Furina

Siggwinne

Childe

Dottore

Pierro

Panties

Arlechino

Damslette

Marionette

Capitano

Signora

(may have forgotten some oops)

Rhinedottir

Alice

Azdeha (Let me spell things wrong)

Durin

Dvalin

Apep

If the character isn't listed we either forgot or they're taken feel free to ask.

#genshin impact #genshin impact roleplay #genshin rp #genshin impact characters #genshin roleplay #discord rp #discord server #character list #open character list

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girlwifteef · 2 years

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“I’m sick of it” James Hetfield x Fem!Reader!

TW: Mentions of abuse, toxic ex, threats, language, and fighting.

Circa 1984 James

Part 4

Description: This is the part you’ve all been waiting for (all four of you that is). In this part, Y/N and James Hetfield meet at Richie’s bar and walk to the record store. While walking back to the car that night, you encounter your ex but this time, James is by your side. (Also, not my gif this time) <3

I forgot how many people lived in this city. There had to have been over 400 people that came and went in the emergency room. Could humans just be a little careful every now and then? We would probably have flying cars by now if this were the case. Well nothing can go anybody’s way so as I clocked out, there were still people pouring in through the doors with code blues, yellows, oranges, and pretty much the entire fucking rainbow. I felt a little bad when they asked me to stay for another hour but I had a date. I had to look my very best, even though I don’t really own anything that project’s confidence like James said. It was almost 3 and I had an hour to get ready.

“I’m sorry Barbara, but I really need to get home.” I said in a hurry to the head nurse. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to tell her that I was blowing everyone off for a guy I just met. “I promised my mom I would check on her dog while she’s away!” I’m usually good at making excuses on the spot for not wanting to do something. Well I’m guessing you already know who made me learn this trick.

“Ah, no worries, Y/N. I’m just glad you didn’t call out. I’ll see you in a couple of days, yeah?”

“Oh! Yes, you will! Bye Barb!” Fuck yeah! I forgot I had a couple days off. Oh man I’m so happy today is today.

I headed to the back of the nurses station to get all my stuff from my locker. Without realizing it, I had practically slammed it shut because of the rush I was in creating this long echo through the hall way. Oops, oh well, I thought scrambling to get everything in my hands. Once I had managed to not drop anything, I had grabbed my car keys and headed for the employee exit. I sped walked to my car and basically threw all of my belongings from my hands into the backseat of my car. Maybe I’ll get them later, after my date. In all honesty, that wasn’t going to happen.

Once everything was out of my hands, I hopped into the drivers seat, and turned the car on with the A/C on full blast. I then threw the car into reverse, backed up, put it in drive, shifted into first gear, and floored it out the parking lot. When I got on the road, I realize it is now 3 o’ clock and let’s just say I’m the luckiest person driving right now because I deserve a lot of speeding tickets. I could imagine the conversation now with the policemen that managed to catch up with me, ‘Please officer, I have a date later with a guy from a band!’ I’ll plead. ‘Miss! You were going 70 in a 45! You are going to jail!’ The officer would yell back. Making myself laugh a little, I slow down enough we’re I’m not passing every poor sole that I manage not to hit. I guess it really didn’t matter because I was only 5 minutes away from my apartment now. At least I made good timing? Man, time really does fly by when you’re having fun.

Driving into the parking garage, I find the “residence parking” and threw the car in park. I grab my purse and head up the flight of stairs to my door and unlock it with my keys. Then, I through my stuff down and shut the door behind me, quickly picking out an outfit the screams me and turn on the water to take a shower. I wasn’t even able to enjoy the hot water because I wanted to have time to actually let my hair dry. So, as I quickly finish up, I put on an Iron Maiden shirt with black jeans and Dr. Martian’s. Then, the hair. It’s wet so possibilities are endless. I gave it some thought and should blow dry curl it. It usually takes me a little while to dry my hair since it’s so thick. My aunt was a hair stylist a long time ago and taught me how to do it without burning it. After each strained of my hair was perfectly placed, I put on some eyeliner around my eyes and mascara. For a minute, I looked in the mirror with my shirt tucked in and pretty much just black clothing from head to toe. Well, if he doesn’t like this, that bites. I then looked at the time, 10 minutes till 4! I have just enough time to make it to Richie’s bar!

I put on just a tad of perfume and grab my purse from when I threw it on the floor earlier, swung the door open, slammed it, and then locked it behind me. Practically flying down the stairs, I jog to my car and get in. I turn on the car and put it into gear to start heading to Richie’s. Oh my god, I’m too nervous. My hands are shaking the steering wheel. What if he changed his mind? Well, I thought the same thing about the phone call, I think it’ll be fine. I think. As I’m pulling up to the bar it’s not really that busy, considering it’s a Saturday. Although, that’s Richie’s bar for you, it’s an underground establishment, that’s why I love it so much. Now, the sleezy people that come in from time to time, I can deal without.

I pull up to the bar parking lot and this time easily finding a parking spot. I put it in park, having 2 minutes to spare, and turn the car off. I got out and locked it then headed inside to wait on the stools. To my surprise there he was. Sitting on my bar stool that I’ve claimed over the years. Seriously, my name is written underneath it. I didn’t realize that he would get here before me, I usually hear people from bands are never on time. Huh, I guess they were wrong about one. I walk up behind him and give him my cheapest, worst pick-up line I have;

“So, come around here often?” I said with a smirk.

He turned to see who I was talking to and oh my. I never thought he could get any cuter. His hair seemed like it was freshly washed, his eyes where a deep blue, his smile began to grow as I finished my line, everything was just like a dream.

“Hi, Y/N!” James said while reaching over for a hug. “How was work? Mr. Richie had mentioned yesterday that you had to ‘save lives’. Are you a doctor?” I think this is the first guy that I’ve met up with who was genuinely curious about my day. It was refreshing, not to mention that he also pays attention to most of the conversations he’s in. So far so good.

As I embraced James, I felt his hair and how broad his shoulders actually were. Now that I’m really looking at him, I’m pretty sure James stood at least 6ft (182.88cm) tall. I felt those stupid butterflies at the worst of times.

“It was alright. Incredibly busy but at least there was no fighting this time. Also, no I’m not a doctor, that’s my dream, I’m a nurse at the local ER. When people come through the front I’m the first one they see to help them.”

“Oh wow! That’s amazing! How long have you worked there?” James asked.

“Just over a year, I drove to this town just before I got this job from Nevada.” I don’t want to tell him about Chris yet. “How have you been, James? Seems like only yesterday we’ve seen each other.” I said jokingly, of course, he chuckled. God, I can’t get enough of his laugh.

“Well, I’ve been rehearsing with Lars and the gang for hours on end getting ready for our next gig. Maybe the occasional drink here and there.”

James perspective after he called last night:

“Ok, I called her.” Stated James.

“Well?? What did she say?!” Asked Lars very enthusiastically.

“Are going on that date with Y/N?” Asked Kirk.

“Yes.” Said James.

“That’s how you do it, man.” Cliff said to James giving a high five and a pat on the back.

Lars had caught onto James’ worried expression and quick responses. “Dude, what’s the matter? Are you nervous or something?”

James, not being able to muster the words to express himself, nodded.

“Come on, man. Don’t be nervous it’s obvious that you guys have a lot in common. Just talk about that stuff.” Cliff advised. The other band mates quickly agreed.

“Yeah, just be yourself!” Lars said.

“But, what if she decides not to come? What do I even wear. I mean we’re meeting at a bar first and then walking to a record store, should I wear something nice?” It had occurred to James that he never asked his band mates about fashion, he had always dressed comfortable no matter what he was doing.

“Listen, I don’t want to see a different James when you come back to this room. You shouldn’t have to change for anyone, if she liked you on stage wearing regular shit, then there should be no problems wearing what you want to wear.” Kirk suggested, though, making it very firm that James should listen to him.

“Ok.” He simply said.

“Ok!” Lars said sipping the last of his beer can. “Now that that’s out of the way, can we focking finish practice?”

“Yeah.” James said still a bit nervous but a little at ease now that he was playing again.

Back to original time:

“Ooo, where are you going to play next?” I asked. I think I caught him off guard with the question because it seemed like James didn’t want to answer the question. In the dim lights of the bar, I saw him turn with a growing redness.

“W-well- uh, we’re still deciding but I kind of want to come back here.” He said looking back and a little more hushed, but I heard him.

“So I can watch you play again?” I said leaning on the bar with a smirk looking up at him. James simply nodded his head rapidly like a little kid.

“Hah, I wouldn’t miss you playing for the world.” I said very sincerely. I did mean it, he’s badass with his rhythm guitar and his vocals really amp up a crowd. After my comment, we both started at each other for a solid 2 seconds. His eyes were a deep blue every time the light had caught them. They bounced back and forth to each of my eyes probably debating on what he should to next. I wonder was his pretty head is thinking about. One mississippi. I had caught myself as I glanced at his lips and a grin grew on his face now looking at my lips then back to meet my eyes. Though we didn’t speak, we both knew we liked each other. I felt a warm smile creep across my face once we locked eyes again. Two mississippi.

“Hey guys! What’s goin’ on?” Richie said greeting me and James breaking our emotional contact with each other.

“Nothing much. Just hanging out” James said smiling while looking at me. Ok, seriously, fuck you butterflies. You do not belong in my stomach for this amount of time.

“Hey, Rich. Busy tonight?” I asked a bit annoyed but I didn’t want to be rude. Well, can you blame me?

“Nah. Ever since this guy’s band played here, it seems as though a lot of the fans have moved on.” Richie said pointing jokingly to James.

James caught on, “Ah, I’ll put in a good word for the guys if you want us here again.”

“Absolutely! You guys are one of the most polite bands that I’ve invited here. Of course you can come back!” Richie exclaimed.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Richie. You wanna head out to that record store, Y/N?” James asked me.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” I said quieting my excitement. I love going to record stores but this time I get a bonus of going on a date with James Hetfield.

“Alright, lead the the way. Here you go, Mr. Richie.” James said handing him a 20 for his drinks

“Thanks. And call me Rich!” Richie yelled to James as I was already almost out the door.

“Will do!” James yelled walking to catch up with me. “So, you live around here?” He asked now walking beside me.

“Yeah, I live in a little apartment about 10 minutes away. I hope you didn’t wait too long for me.” I figured I should be truthful. I feel confident enough that he’s not going to stalk me, seems like a nice guy.

“Oh cool, I’m actually from a town south from here, and not at all I was there for about 10 minutes, I didn’t want to be late.” James said. “Where are you from?”

Oh. I guess it’s time to talk about our pasts. “I’m from Central Florida.” We had turned a corner and I felt James eyes get wider.

“Florida?! What the hell are you doing all the way out here?” Ack. Why didn’t I just lie. This would have been so much easier if I didn’t feel so comfortable sharing everything with him. As I walked thinking of an answer, there was this ally way that was all beat up and run down. I’ve never noticed it out of the many times I’ve been to the record store. Shit, he’s still waiting, focus! Think of something, anything. Damn it, I can’t think when he’s starting at me like that.

“Uh job opportunity. Oh! Look, we’re here! It’s also a comic book store, did I mention that?”

“Oh! And no you didn’t, Kirk would love this.” Phew, ok he bought it, he better not ask about anything else, I really don’t like lying.

We walked into the store opening the door and alerting the front with the bell that was attached. That sweet smell of cardboard and teenage hormones really brought back memories. I glanced for a minute to find the hard rock section. Ah, there it is. Since when did that move it to the back of the store? Oh well. I walked towards the area with James following close behind me and went up to the shelves, then started to rummage through them looking for an AC/DC album I’ve had my eyes on for a while. A, A, where the hell is section A?? I threw my hands up with out even thinking, fucking finally, I thought.

“You look beautiful, Y/N. I had forgotten to tell you earlier. Well, I imagine you always do.” James said with the sweetest smile looking down at me.

“Aw, thank you. I’m sorry, I really don’t own nice clothes, I really like wearing what I want, you know?.” This answer really seemed to set him at ease.

“Y/N, don’t be sorry, I wish more people were like you. I don’t own anything nice either. I wear what I want like you! I listen to what I want at all times of the day. I love your jokes, they make me laugh and I still think about them from time to time. I want to make you laugh. I want to listen to music with you all day. I want … you.” James said staring intently for my answer. I guess I didn’t really pay attention to the distance between us because now he was probably less then 3 inches (roughly 7 cm) away from each other. I can strongly smell his cologne now, like the beach and warm sand. It was getting really warm here in the back of the store.

“I want you too.” I said as I moved in filling the gap to kiss him. Without hesitation, James wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back. I had wrapped my arms around his neck enclosing the space between us even tighter. His lips were so soft and despite his size, he was so gentle with his grasp. Every second was like heaven and non existent angels were singing. We stayed like this way for a couple of minutes and released to catch our breaths from the exhaustion of nerves and tension, James still held onto me. We looked up at each other and chuckled a little bit while I moved a few strains of hair out of his face. Something had caught my eye and I looked over at the AC/DC album I’ve been looking for, funny how he puts things into perspective.

“Ah, found it.” I said while James still had his arms wrapped around my waist. I reached over and grabbed the record.

“Found what?” He asked

“AC/DC’s album ‘For Those About to Rock’. I’ve been looking for this one but they keep selling out.”

“Well, I’m glad I could be of assistance.” James said, I laughed and gave him one more peck on the lips before I hugged him and asked, “Did you mean that?”

“What? What do you mean?” He asked loosening his hug to look at me but still held on.

“That you think I’m beautiful. I’m just wearing regular shit.” I said blatantly chuckling.

“Yes I do. I think you’d look gorgeous even in a trash bag.”

“Oh my god, you’re fucking ridiculous, James.”

“Haha! It’s true!” He said hugging me again. The smell of his hair was so nice and warm. I felt so at home, like I was meant to do this.

“Ok whatever.” I said rolling my eyes chuckling. Next thing I knew he had his lips pressed against mine once again. As I kissed him back I explored him with my hands, running them through his hair and down his neck. Then, I moved to his shoulders and chest as he was touching me. We did this for another couple of minutes and then let go of each other as we realized we’re in a public area and really shouldn’t put on a show right now. He looked into my eyes and brushed his hand against my cheek. As he did, I smiled brightly at him and caught the record slipping from my grasp.

“You know, I think I have to pay for this.” I said a little sad that I have to leave this moment, but there will be more time for this later.

“Nah, shoplift it. You gotta live a little, Y/N.” James said flashing a little sarcasm which made me laugh. I then kissed his cheek and walked to the front counter. I placed the new record onto the counter and waited for the clerk to scan it.

“Is this all?” The clerk asked a little tired and couldn’t really give two shits if this was all I wanted to buy.

“Yup! That’s it.” I said cheerfully wanting to hurry the process along.

The clerk sighed. “That’ll be $11.50.” I handed him 12 dollars.

“Here you go, have a good day.” He spat out.

“Thanks!” I grabbed my 50 cents and walked out with James. After I heard the bell from the door, James reached for my hand to hold it. With the reaction I imagine he was hoping for, I held his. We were both blushing as we shared a comfortable silent walk for a couple of minutes back to the bar with our hands being held safely by one another.

“I really like you, Y/N.” James said looking at me while walking.

I smiled widely and said, “I really like you too, Hetfield.” After that we continued walking in comfortable silence in the dark on our way to our cars with our hands intertwined. It had gotten significantly darker since we entered the record shop, I didn’t realize how much time really passed. We had walked passed the same ally when we walked to the record store and I got a cold chill. Weird. We walked past the ally and I was on a high from just confessing my feelings toward James. And he returned those feelings! Crazy how people work sometimes.

“Well, well. What the fuck is this?” A voice echoed from the ally.

I felt my grip tighten on James’ hand as tears started to well up in my eyes. I had stopped dead in my tracks. Oh no. Please no. If there’s a god out there, fucking help me. This can’t be real, I must be dreaming, wake up! I should run, yell, scream, for the love of god do something! It’s dark, maybe it’s not him and they had mistaken me for someone else. I don’t know though, that voice. I can’t feel my legs. Fuck, what do I do? Oh how I wish those butterflies would comeback. I squeezed his hand tighter for some sort of comfort.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” James asked worrying about my sudden tension. I turned around to see if my suspicions were true.

“Ah! I thought that was you, Y/L/N.”

“Oh god no.” I tried to say quietly to myself but James heard me. I was hyperventilating and on the verge of crying and passing out.

“Y/N, who is that guy?” James now acting very protective stepping ahead of me as Chris stepped forward.

“No, James! Stay away from him!” I yelled worried of what Chris might do. I grabbed James’ shirt to try and pull him back but he wasn’t backing down.

“Y/N, who the fuck is this guy?” James asked standing tall in front of me like a soldier.

“I see you had a little fun while I was away!” Chris snapped coming perfectly into view only 6 feet (2 meters) away.

James was now confronting Chris, “Dude, who are you?”

“Oh! Y/N, you never talk about me to your friends? This saddens me.” Chris said with his two faced words. “We’re together.”

“N-no! W-w-we are not!” It’s all I could muster out. I was shaking with fear and it felt like there was a stick stuck in my throat. I couldn’t move and all I could do was look at James with this terrified puppy dog look. Please, go away. Save us all time Chris and go away.

“Yes, we are. You just don’t want to stay with one person at a time, isn’t that right, Y/N/N?” He spat out inching towards me. James stepped forward.

“Look, if she wanted to be with you she would have said so. You need to leave her alone.” James said very sternly standing his ground.

“Pfft- Y/N, who’s this guy again?” Chris peered over to the side to see me.

“N-none of yo-your business!” I really didn’t mean to sound meek but I wasn’t looking to get slapped today. I guess it’s inevitable now.

“Ha, you little sh-“ Chris lunged forward to get me but James stood in the way pushed him away a couple of feet (meters). Chris leapt toward James landing a hard right hook on the side of his temple. *crack* I jumped back to get out of the way and they both hit the ground.

“Chris! S-Stop it!” I squeaked out but he wasn’t in the mood for listening. James managed to get a hold of Chris, pinned him, and punched him square in the eye then his nose almost knocking him out but not quite. Stumbling to get back up, Chris held on to the brick wall of the side of a building. Holding is noes that was profusely bleeding now.

“God damn it. You don’t know what you’ve done, kid.” Chris said to James out of breath then, he turned to me, “Next time I see you, Y/N. I’m gonna kill you and your little boyfriend.” Chris said stumbling back into an ally from which he emerged from.

James, out of breath holding the side of his face, turned to look at me. “Are you ok?” Was he seriously worried about me?

“Wha- Am I ok?? James, your bleeding! Come on, Richie’s bar is only a block away. I’ll take you too the back and clean that cut.” I ushered him across the street to get to the bar as quickly as possible in case he followed us. “I can’t believe this. I’m so embarrassed. I’m so so sorry, James. I should have told you before, I just didn’t know the right time!” We had made it to the front step and I swung open the bar door and saw the shocked expression of Richie.

“Look, I’ll tell you later Rich, I have to help him first.” I quickly said making sure not to disturb the already drunken patrons.

Richie looked at us both, “Was someone trying to rob you?”

“No, he’s back.” I said a little more ominously than I intended. Richie was the only person that knows about Chris. And not having contact with any of my family over the years because I the fear that Chris would get to them, Richie was all I had left.

I threw open the doors to the staff office where I new there was a first aid kit. “Ok, sit tight and I’ll get the first aid kit.” James was just silent but he nodded. He hadn’t said anything after the fight other than ask me if I was ok. I looked up on the top cabinet knocking a few things over to grab the kit. “Ah! Found it.” I then ran over to James and knelt down because there wasn’t another chair nearby which didn’t really bother me. I yanked open the first aid box and grabbed goss, hydrogen peroxide, and butterfly stitches. “James, I need you to move your hand, please.” He slumped his hand onto his thigh and now I could really look at the cut in the light. It was deep but didn’t need stitches, his temple was black and blue, and blood streamed down his face. I gasped.

“Oh my god. James, I’m so sorry.” I said knowing that my apology didn’t make a difference for the damage I’ve caused. I poured the peroxide on the goss, “I’m sorry but this is going to hurt a lot, you might want to hold your breath and count.” I said truthfully. He obliged and I reached up and slowly pressed the peroxide onto his open cut. His face got tighter and groaned showing his teeth, “I’m sorry, but this is the only way to properly clean it.” I said looking up at his cut trying to stop the bleeding as gently as I could. God, why do pasts always have to come back and fuck things up? Why do creeps, especially Chris, manage to ruin so many lives? This has gone on for too long and I need to stop this. Oh no, please not the water works in front of my patient. James looked at me as I was thinking and cleaning his cut. He saw that I had tears streaming down my face, only I wasn’t sobbing but silently crying. I noticed he was looking at me and I met his dark blue eyes. The only thing I saw was rage and vengeance with a little bit of empathy. He wiped a single tear off of my cheek and I looked away. Wiping the dried blood off of James’ bruised temple, I put on the butterfly stitches. I started to throw the used goss away to avoid the next conversation when he stopped me and cupped my face.

“Y/N. Are you ok?” James finally said.

Taking a moment to really think about how I want to answer the question I finally said, “No. I can’t believe I let this happen.” I said with tears filling my eyes again.

“This is not your fault, please don’t blame yourself for other people’s actions! He’s the psychopath, Y/N.” He said pulling me to hug him. The sudden comfort pushed me over the edge and brought me into perspective. Now, I was softly crying and holding onto James for dear life. He calmly rubbed circles my back until I had felt comfortable to let go. It was so soothing I had stopped crying within minutes. Wiping tears away and loosed my grip on James to look up at him, before I could say anything James spoke.

“Now, I know you’re not in the best mood right now, but do you mind telling me who that guy is?”

END OF PART 4!

A/N: Ahhhh! I am so sorry that this took me so long but this is what you all have been waiting for!! This part is very long but I hope you like it. Part 5 will be coming out this week. I can promise you that but for now, that’s all from me. Please lmk what you thought about this one and don’t forget to leave a comment if you think I should do someone else that you like. I do my research so just lmk! Thanks guys, ❤️ have an awesome day! :3

#cliff burton #heavy metal #james hetfield #james x you #kirk hammett #lars ulrich #metallica #x female reader #x reader #x you #x fem!reader #james hetfield x you #James Hetfield x reader

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televinita · 6 months

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Goodreads Choice Awards but the nominees are just the books I've personally shelved

I have a lot of thoughts about the options as they exist (mostly not that bad, except when it comes to the total elimination of children's literature, about which I am furious), but per usual I can't really articulate them in a coherent way SO I sorted my shelves by publication date, ignored the GCA requirement of a minimum 3.5 average rating, and am doing this instead.

[update: oops this did not turn out coherent either. but it got typed!]

Important Reminder: These are not all books I consider equal contenders for "best." I simply wanted to highlight every possible option I actually knew about and have read or am interested in reading.

After the Sirens - Sharon Farrell

Begin Again - Emma Lord (forgot to add this one before)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes (actual nominee and I'm gonna vote for it even though it seems like it may be more of a filler book. The Davenports is the only other official nom to intrigue me, and its lower average rating + hideous cartoon cover isn't enough to flip me unread so sorry, we're going Basic Popularity Contest Pick)

Cleaning Up - Leanne Lieberman

Five Survive - Holly Jackson (definitely not a winner)

Gather - Kenneth M. Cadow (edit: National Book Award finalist?? like with the adult fiction??)

Good as Gold -- Candace Buford (definite contender for fave so far)

Holly Horror - Michelle Jabès Corpora

The Island - Natasha Preston (lol. lmao even. but ridiculous fun)

The Lake House - Sarah Beth Durst

A Long Stretch of Bad Days - Mindy McGinnis

The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway - Ashley Schumacher (here on author loyalty only)

Three Rivers - Sarah Stusek (THAT'S RIGHT. HER.)

Summer Rental - Rektok Ross (why am I this aware of brand-new ya horror??) (because I love horror and it's usually better paced and spookier and less shock-gory than the adult brand? fair)

YA FANTASY / SCI FI

Dream to Me - Megan Paasch (I think it would go here, anyway. but maybe it's just regular YA)

The Eternal Ones - Namina Forna (I gotta remember this series exists)

FANTASY

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries -- winner winner pick!! (no like officially)

Starling House - Alix E. Harrow (though this is a close second, and honestly, if they weren't both actual nominees I'd think The Unmaking of June Farrow has some potential intrigue)

ROMANCE

Hazel Fine Sings Along - Katie Wicks (no comment on its Wattpad origin. I didn't notice until just now. have not read it.)

Famous For A Living - Melissa Ferguson (popular enough for Once Upon a Book Club! but not for for an official nom, despite my hopes, in this fiercely competitive category. boooo)

Out On a Limb - Hannah Bonam-Young (damn I actually saw this one making rounds on BookTube, thought it might be here)

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly (can't believe there's actually a queer romance I want to see show up and it doesn't)

(Bonus: legit nominees I am considering for validity include Happy Place; Yours Truly - I really need to figure out if Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez are in my wheelhouse or not - and Hello Stranger, though as much as I like Katherine Center this one does not call to me)

FICTION

This Bird Has Flown - Susanna Hoffs (might also have been under romance if picked for the actual GCA? feels more mainstream than that but idk. anyway HATERS 2 THE LEFT.)

^ also my pick for debut

The Lost Manuscript - Mollie Rushmeyer (dunno which category this would officially go in either. probably romance? maybe mystery? but it's got a lot more plot than the average romance)

HISTORICAL FICTION

The Echo of Old Books - Barbara Davis (holy crap this one's actually in the nominations?! Instant vote. Almost disappointing because there are some other candidates I would have felt fine voting for to block the worse ones, but this is the only one on my acute TBR. If I don't give at least 4 stars I will be shocked)

MYSTERY/THRILLER

Forgotten Trail - Claire Kells

The Hike - Lucy Clarke

The Only One Left - Riley Sager

Homecoming - Kate Morton (crisis alert! the latter two are both official nominees and I am equally interested in both/both have equally good track records with me) (probs. gonna vote Kate on the principle of female solidarity. even though this is really stretching the definition of "mystery")

HORROR

A Haunting on the Hill - Elizabeth Hand

(How To Sell a Haunted House is a hard maybe but also the only one I think I'd even consider trying from the official noms)

MEMOIR

Paris: The Memoir - Paris Hilton

The Woman in Me - Britney Spears

Grimoire Girl - Hilarie Burton Morgan

Tell Me Everything - Minka Kelly

If You Would Have Told Me - John Stamos

Goodbye to Clocks Ticking - Joseph Monninger (forgot I just stumbled upon this one recently! it's on my library list but not my GR account)

and one more except GCA put it in a different category hang on

Three of these - not Burton's, alas - are actually nominees. Britney is gonna win but not without a fight from me. Do I go with Paris, whose memoir impressed me even though I still don't care much for her as a person, or Minka, whose memoir I haven't read but whose reviews sound excellent and whom I like more?

HUMOR

Being Henry - Henry Winkler (there is absolutely no reason for this not to be nominated in memoir btw. I hope it wins Humor because nothing else appeals in that category and I have multiple vendettas (SAMANTHA IRBY), but it would be as misplaced a win as the Office Ladies book was last year. fully deserving of an award! actually the best of the given nominees! but also like an adult beating a bunch of children in a footrace.)

MIDDLE GRADE

(no longer a GCA category but it fudgin' should be)

Just Gus - McCall Hoyle

Falling Out of Time - Margaret Peterson Haddix (actually glad I don't have to choose between these two because like. dogs - but also boy MC - or author loyalty ft. sequel to my childhood fave??)

Rosie Frost and the Falcon Queen - Geri Halliwell The Spice Girl (no. 😔) (and yet it is still on my shelf)

I have no strong opinions for any categories I skipped.

#I am actually very familiar with a lot of options this year thanks to my new BookTube obsession but still haven't read that many #(and probably won't)#so instead I present to you: books I have actually read or at least am excited to read someday #also excited to come back in the future and see how many better options from 2023 I have since found and read #...ooh maybe that should be my next post: actual picks or top 5 contenders from 5 to 10 years ago?#also: rats. i should have done cover image collages to break up the text walls...oh well #GCA related

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allkinds-oftrash · 1 year

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The Crown S5E10 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Review: That was so underwhelming. It just sealed to me what an uneventful season this was. I feel like Peter Morgan only went off on Ep 3, 4 then 7 to 9 then called it a day. I don’t know what exactly went behind the scenes to make him chicken out of going full on with the punches like he did in S4. Anyways here’s my live reactions as I watched it but I’m too annoyed to do a proper season review so lemme direct yall to my lovely mutual @mermaidsirennikita Caro’s post that outlined everything I felt about the season (I do disagree on some points but I’ll cover that in my post tomorrow or something when I’m done being mad - also hi Caro its viscountessevie’s side acc lol)

Spoilers Under The Cut

Dodi and Mohammed!! I've missed them Shksjs Dodi is officially an LA producer Not him bidding against Michael Douglas for a house

The way I really thought it was gonna be Diana 🤡🤡 But it's just Barbara Gordan Sr (Erin Richards played her in Gotham) bdjdjdk

LMAOOO DIANA VOTING NO FOR THE MONARCHY Isn't this a lie tho?? I'm pretty sure she wanted William on the throne eventually... Oh well fiction wise it's fucking funny This voting scene is brilliant I love it so much What a great cold open!

(I forgot I watched the cold open last night before falling asleep and am rewatching this bit again for my commentary and GOD IT'S EVEN MORE HILARIOUS A SECOND TIME)

Oooh it's Lizzie's birthday Lmaoo not her getting gag gifts from everyone BUT CHARLES Between the boring ass book he got for Di and this, he really is the worst gift giver huh Not Chucky being jealous of Pedodrew's stupid gift Damn Charles really is a masochistic always watching these programs that make him upset Lmaooo not Edward and Pedodrew taking the piss out of him

God Queen Mother shut the fuck up you racist bitch "The Great Chinese Takeaway" 🙄 For fuck's sake and everyone laughing. God fuck these racist asses. Yeah this might be a fictional scene but YOU KNOW these bitches have said worse things behind closed doors. I cannot WAIT til the Queen Mother dies; she's so insufferable. Yall did not compare the liberation of a former colony to an ex attending a wedding jfc yall are the worst Charles is gonna fuck up the Hong Kong trip just watch

Random tangent but Fly Like An Eagle is on Glen Powell (Hangman in the Top Gun sequel)'s playlist for his character and now there's a plane while the song is playing, I fully expected Glen to come out of that plane why am I like this 💀💀

Anyways hiii Dodi what a cutie Is Barbara Gordan Sr playing his wife? Nope she is not. Who is Kelly?? Why do we need to know her Is this scene necessary Peter Morgan?? OH?? HE'S SLEEPING WITH HIS ACTRESS?? Dodi wtf don't be one of those gross producers Oh wait is that his fiancee he dropped for Diana oop Also why did I think she was his ex wife that happened way back in the 80s dhdjkd I'm sorry but I did not need to see that scene lmao it could have been an email Dodi really has a type huh Ew he's doing coke God he really became a Hollywood cliche huh I mean I never knew much about him so I can't say if this is accurate or not but if it is, bro why did you become a Hollywood cliche

I never followed Tony Blair's politics but we like him right?? In that case, Charles you're nothing like him How has the second Mrs. Al Fayed not aged at all 👁👄👁 It's been at least a good 7 years since Ep 3

Don't be fucking crude Mou Mou Let them speak their native language Kelly Yeah it's rude but you're giving White Woman rn djdkkdkd Heini is right lmaooo Okay actually they did do well with her make up to age her a little

WHAT?? His only talent is women??? "One day you'll hit the jackpot"???? What does that meannnn Mou Mou Peter Morgan are you implying Dodi was a golddigger omg This is so uncomfortable pls Kelly is like ???

Damnn let's go Labour Party let's gooo Ohmygod that's Tony Blair?? Huh the one time the irl person is more attractive 💀💀 the actor is fine but Tony Blair was a DILF back in the day come on

Tell me why I feel sad John Major lost 😭😭😭 He was just so nice this season dhkdjd Lmao this historians convo is so meta especially since Peter seems to have a bias for John Major and have given him a hot actor and made him really chill and cool this season Lmaooo Lizzie you did not just say he's your favourite PM LOL bro it's fine the Brittiana is old af time to decomission her

"The youngest Prime Minister since Lord Liverpool in 1812" WELL Rishi Sunak is coming for that title 25 years later yall "And you're still a young man too" LIZZIE STOP LYING HE'S GOT A FULL HEAD OF WHITE HAIR Johnny Lee Miller playing him doesn't make him less old djdkkd

Can you imagine if the note to Blair had said "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN" lmaooo Johnnn why you lying "A great job" as if you didn't spend this season just babysitting the royals

This boat nonsense plot line is so fucking stupid and pointless. Peter Morgan THIS could have been an email. I do not care for this shit at all They just sound like rich brats which we already knew they were So you could have used another example to show that

NEW BRITAIN SHDJJDJS This is so stupid omg It's just a fucking boat Lizzie let it go

Like I get sentimentality and all but don't anchor (pun absolutely intended) yourself and your sense of self worth to a old piece of metal Like That I would be alot more sympathetic (because we all have sentimental things tied to our memories)1 if they weren't old rich white people who caused so much pain whining about a luxary no one else can afford and expecting the government to keep funding it

HAHAHHAH HE'S IN BUSINESS WHILE THE REST ARE IN FIRST CLASS PLEASEEEE I CACKLED "You're going to have to be very brave" 💀 Camilla it's just business class yall need to calm the fuck down

What the fuck is this visual Mans is not left out of anything This visual metaphor falls so fucking flat when he's literally usually the one drawing the curtain on people Peter Morgan what are you doing

Omggg the Cantonese burning the British flag What icons They're so right for THAT

Okay Heini has grown on me Girlie really grew into her place in the Fayed family huh Good for her "You were so much more than a model. You were a socialite" MOU MOU WHAT This is so cringey pls

I have gone 20 mins after the cold open without Diana WHERE IS SHE Oh lmao here she is I missed you bby Awww her friendship with Mou Mou is everything I wanna h u g her Her voice is always on point I'm shook

God the flashes give me such anxiety The foreshadowing really gives me the deepest pit in my stomach Oh gosh the offer to Saint Topaz,,, the beginning of the end 😭😭 I don't want her to goooo Yeah Elizabeth took a few eps but she finally grew into the role as Diana we love to see it!

We hate Charles but damn doesn't Dominic look good in a uniform God I hate it here Also booo let Hong Kong be it's own country just passing it off to another country I can't even I get so anxious seeing the rainfall on everyone's head they're gonna catch a cold Dominic lost the Charles voice, it needs to be steeper bud

Charles don't be fucking weird Why did you link the ages to her relatives and husband and now son Don't say it Nope yall are not brothers stfu He said it 🤡 Welll he made Blair say it

Lmaooo Blair sick of the yacht talk too hsjjdkd Why do you feel bad sir?? Bruh it's just a boat 💀

YALL JUST GOT DIVORCED A YEAR AGO - Chill the fuck out Chucky Lmaoo Blair is right he was going behind Lizzie's back and briefing against her They always do this They brief against one another It's messy af

The amount of Charles cocksucking happening in this episode is gross Peter Morgan WHAT did he threaten you with Why are you trying to make him out to be this modern innovative man Was he??? Was he really??? Charles so self serving I cannot LMAO NOT CAMILLA WITH THE KNOCK OFF REVENGE DRESS YOU WILL NEVER BE HER

"Friendly invasion" Okayyy China whatever helps you sleep at night

Helloooo Martin,,, I really am a simp for Martin huh. Listen this season hasn't given me a single person in the main Royals other than Diana to feel anything for So Martin's hotness it is I can't believe I'm saying this: but Lizzie should have said No 😭😭 Martin snitching on Chucky hsjdjdk She's gonna TEAR HIM APART

There's 12 minutes left and this is such an unimpressive finale wtf Peter Morgan bruh what are you doinggg I told myself I won't follow press after the mess than is the Bridgerton production team But I NEED to know what Peter was thinking outlining this season The potential was there and yet it flopped Only Eps 3, 7 to 9 were solid episodes

Lmaooo affair "Divorced man whose wife is still alive" I'M SCREAMING Can't believe I'm agreeing with Charles abt his rls rn Oh never mind fuck you Charles No one brought up Diana why you gotta drag her name through the mud K Chucky sureee Camilla has Did their spin doctor write this episode??

SCREAMS "I don't think it's my behaviour threatening its (the monarchy) survival" Rip him apart harder Lizzie come onnn Yesss throw the whole monarchy away Yeah they yeeted yall cos you OPPRESSED THEM FOR 50 YEARS, idiots

I feel nothing for this stupid ship and her farewell God this is so depressing and underwhelming This ep should have just been the cold open only tbh If you aren't gonna commit to the end of the Diana era then leave it all completely to S6 which is so disappointing, I thought they were finish Diana's story this season I was mentally prepared for that And now I gotta be sick again worrying about it and then mentally prepare for it again before S6

That's it??? That was so underwhelming???

40 mins of white people whining abt their boat and losing a country to independence Then 15 mins of Diana's death foreshadowing?? 5 mins of Dodi being a Hollywood producer cliche and Mou Mou being a dick to Kelly??

That's all??? Bruhhhh

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown Spoilers

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