#oof i said a lot of shit this evening hold on man

[yngtort]

— Hate to love you

chan | lino | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

NSFW ★

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Xfem!reader • mdni • established relationship • cheating • choking • hate sex in which hyunjin finds out about your affair and decides to put you in your place

Anonymous : Oof I loooved your jealous fwb Felix fic ♥️ When you have time could you please make a jealous Hyunjin fic? It’s one of my favorite tropes 🥵

It had been two years since you got married. Two years of hyunjin having to deal with your complete and utter disrespect, and he’s just about had it.

You were a spoiled fucking brat. Spending all his money on obscene things, stuff that you didn’t even need. Designer clothes that you never wore filled up both yours and his closet.

and let’s not even get to that mouth of yours. Your tongue was always sharp with blonde, not holding back a single insult. You both argued like hell over small shit like breathing the same air. but y’all blew it so far out of proportion to the point where it becomes a full on war between you too.

And when you weren’t arguing, you weren’t talking at all.

But Hyunjin didn’t blame you for your attitude towards him. you were ripped out of your life in a matter of days Just to satisfy your parents expectations. trust him, he didn’t take lightly to the thought either. He ransacked the house when he found out, flipping out on his parents and tossing old relic vases into the walls. He was just as pissed as you were.

That is, until the day he met you.

Love at first sight, that’s what it was. You were a lot younger back then — your hair was shorter, face was warmer, and your voice was like silk as you begged him to call off the wedding.

“We both don’t want this.” You said with tearful and dejected eyes, hands trembling as you latched onto the hem of his dress shirt.

You looked at him the same way when you walked down the aisle of the church.

and during your honeymoon,

and at the birth of your kids,

You hated him with every fiber of your being and he knew it.

So he allowed you to be the snobby bitch that you are to him. It’s the price he’d have to pay for locking you away with a ring.

But there was one thing he could not stand the thought of, You deceiving him and going behind his back to be with another man. so he’s absolutely fuming as he stares at the photos on his phone. You’re seen walking hand in hand into a brothel with some long haired blondie. Had it not been for the fact that he’d just cut and dyed his hair, hyunjin would’ve thought it was him that you were with in these photos.

it was sickening, seeing articles alluding that you had been spending money —his money— on a male escort. Writers degrade the integrity of his character and your relationship— ridiculing his fathers company.

And it’s all your fault.

So you’re gonna pay for it.

It’s eerily quiet when you walk into the house. Not that it was ever loud or anything, but usually you could hear the faint sound of your kids playing in their room— tv running and soft giggles ringing in your ears.

But today, you were met by complete and utter silence. “I’m home,” you say to no one in particular, shrugging your jacket off your shoulders and hanging it on the coat rack.

You step deeper into the house, peeking in each room until you’ve reached hyunjin’s office. The door was ajar which threw you off completely. It was always kept locked unless he was here.

But he was supposed to be at the company today.

“Hyunjin.” You peeked your head in, immediately meeting with the man you wedded. He was leant on his desk, cigarette between his lips as his dark eyes stared back at you.

“What are you doing here? Where’s my children?"Hyunjin chuckled at the question, head shaking at you as you looked at him— trying to figure out what’s so funny.

He took a long, long drag from the cig, blowing the smoke out into the air right after. “I decided they needed a night away from their cheating mother,"

You sighed hearing his words, “I wanted to take them out to dinner.”

“You’re not even gonna deny it?” Hyunjin said with a scoff, clear disgust written across his face.

"There’s articles out about it now. There’s no point in lying” your shrug, “just buy off the writer or something. Your reputation won’t be tarnished for long.”

Hyunjin laughed in complete disbelief. You really didn’t care about any of this. It was all just a game to you, he was a game to you.

He put the cigarette before pushing off the desk and walking over to you, a tall figure towering down. “I can’t believe you.”

“I let you do what you want, walk over me and spend every dime…and this is what I get in return?” He snaps, voice laced with fire. “Had I known that you’d turn out to be a whore, I wouldn’t have married you.”

“I never asked for this, I never asked to be your wife.”

"And yet, here we are," Hyunjin countered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're married to me, y/n. You're the mother of my children. So, I expect you to act with some semblance of decency and respect.”

“And if I don’t?” You tested, taking a step forward as you pressed a finger to his chest. “just what are you gonna do about-“

It only took a few seconds, so swift and fast that you couldn’t even register the stinging pain of your back slamming into the wall and a hand wrapping around your neck.

“I’ll teach you how to respect me,” he growled as he held you there. your hands instinctively grip his wrist, nails digging into his skin. “You’ll learn your place in this house and you will never disobey me again.”

“I’ll never respect you, I hate you.” You bite, trying to fight your way out of his hold but hyunjins grip his firm— just barely enough to let you breathe.

"you hate me so much, yet you had to go find a man that looks exactly like me?" Hyunjin said, a smirk brewing on his face. “doesn’t seem like hatred to me.”

He watches in amusement as you visibly tense. Maybe the guy did resemble your husband, but so what? You didn’t pick him specifically for that reason….you think. All that sass your little body had, flew right out of the window as he closed the distance between the two of you.

“Tell me, was he even half as good as me? Or are you just a slut that enjoys sloppy dick?” He taunts as his free hand slides its way into your leggings and over your cunt.

“F-fuck you” you stuttered, feeling his fingers rub against your clothed folds— wetness seeping through the fabric.

“That's right. Fuck me, and only me.” Hyunjin whispers into your ear as his slinder fingers pass your panties into your sopping hole. He pumps them with ease, making sure to press against your cervix to draw out those loud moans of yours.

“Ngh, stop it..”you slur out, trying so hard not to submit but his fingers were working you good, your knees are just four more pumps from giving out. “hate you s’much..”

“That’s okay, baby.” He said, nose brushing against yours— “just gotta fuck you until you love me.”

With that, hyunjin latched his lips onto yours, eating up every moan you let out as he fingers you against the wall, thumb circling your clit in tight circles. N you’re like that for while, melting away with every thrust until your back arched— sending your chest against his.

Hyunjin smirks feeling you gush all over him, walls clenching and sucking on his digits for more, “such an easy little girl. Horny for anyone who bats an eye at you.” He teases as he frees his pulls back.

You’re so weak, almost sliding the wall— but your husband doesn’t let you.“S-stop it! Put me down!” You protest as He hoists you up, forcibly wrapping your legs around himself as he leads you to his desk.

He ignores your cries and places you there, pushing down on your back. Paper’s scrunching under you, pens dropping to the floor as you’re spread out for him to take.

Hyun hisses as he yanks your bottoms down, astonished at how your cunt glistened under his desk light. “so wet and yet you cry for me to stop.”

“t-that’s because-“

“Because you’re a whore? I know that already.” He said before kneeling down, coming face to face with your need. Gently he pushes his head forward, and in one swift motion, his tongue plunges into your slick heat, groaning as your taste coats his tongue.

Your head falls back, mewls leaving your lips as he devours your sensitive cunt. Tongue lapping over the bud, making you completely dizzy.

“Hyun, fuck, just like that, mm gonna cum” you cried, high just a few steps away.

“Don’t you dare.” Hyun grunts before pulling back, denying you release before two fingers plunging into you instead. “you don’t deserve it.”

“No, no, please.” You sob, legs closed around his wrist as he finger Fucks for the second time today. “‘Mm sorry,”

Hyun chuckles darkly, “you’re not sorry, but you will be soon.” He groans, replacing his fingers with his cock, slowly pushing in. Inch by inch he fills you up, nestling deep inside, his hands holding your thighs open.

He slams his hips forward, heavy girth railing you with no remorse, claiming your tightness as his own.

“Dumb girl.” Thrust, “Can’t keep your legs closed” Thrust, “needa wash your filthy cunt out with my cum” Thrust.

He growls lowly as he feels himself getting closer to the edge, his cock throbbing inside of you. "You’re gonna be a good loyal wife now, aren't you? Let me use you when I want?"

“Y-yes, I’ll be s’good.” you answer, barely even there— mind lost in a headspace you’ve never even explored before. “Yours, y/ns yours.”

“Say it, “ Hyun bites out, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulls back before slamming forward again, the force of his movements causing your body to jerk forward each time. “Tell me you love me.”

“Fuck, I-I love you..love you s’much hyunie.”

With a final thrust, Hyunjin hips slam against yours, pushing his dick as deep inside you as it can go before releasing his seed. His hands grip your hips tighter as he holds himself there, panting heavily as he fills you to the brim.

"That's it...that's it...gotta make more pretty babies” he rubs your tummy, slowly pumping his load deeper into you and making you whine.

Hyunjin slowly reels back, dick leaving your hole with a wet pop. “I love you so much, beautiful.”

“Love you more.”

:)

Nni : finally did my first request !! Whoop!! I hope you liked it <3 wanna do more, so start sending people !!

Tinytags (comment to be added) : @sydnerss @sunnyyangie @panjakes @foxinnie8 @inniescandy-01

#kpop fanfic #stray kids imagines #kpop imagines #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #straykids x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x you #hyunjin #nnipadz

[needle-noggins]

Time for Vol. 5: Meryl's very bad no good horrible day

Even though she saved the day by shooting Legato, breaking the craziest stand-off while also scared shitless. I love my wife. She can hold so much complexity in her. Now let's get into it:

First, a moment from Vash:

Our boy is in utter agony here, and the thought of Meryl is what keeps him going. Obviously she's in danger and needs rescuing, but come on. He's enduring this pain for her. He can't quit, for her. Yeah, this is par for the course for our anime jesus figure, but come on. Let me have this.

Quick moment of Meryl seeing Vash's feathers for the first time and she's terrified. It's interesting how Wolfwood and Meryl are both so deeply terrified of Vash, but Wolfwood saw a lot more up front at Jeunora Rock and from a distance. Meryl, on the other hand, is trapped. I also think Wolfwood processes it completely differently because he also sees himself as a monster, so to him it's recognition of the self through the other (deragatory). For Meryl, it's just all traumatic. She's just a 23 year old woman and she didn't ask for this.

I think these panels above explain my question from earlier - Meryl is definitely seeing Vash's flashbacks to July here. She sees the black hole gate, the destruction, and the angel arm; I'm not sure if she knows about the part with Knives, but based on some really helpful people on my earlier post today, I think she reveals that she saw that too (oof). I'm not sure what she's seeing in the bottom panel of page 95, though. If someone could explain, I would be super appreciative.

Like I said, she's just a normal person. What was it that someone said to Vash earlier, that he's endured more pain than any person possibly could live with? And now Meryl feels some of that - a lot of it, perhaps, considering that July was so traumatic to Vash that he lost his memory of it. Someone else pointed it out wonderfully that while Fifth Moon was Knives controlling Vash, July was 100% Vash aiming to kill Knives and everyone else was an unlucky casualty of Vash's fear and anger. Meryl sees what Vash is capable of - and that he has killed scores of people - not just second-hand through circumstance, but in actuality.

ANGEL MODE GO CRAZY GO STUPID! GORE GORE GORE!

I mean, Vash doesn't have great control of his power anyway, between hardly ever using it and feeling intense emotion that affects it. Thank god he doesn't use the angel arm here, but holy shit? Meryl just saw what that thing is capable of, and Wolfwood saw it in real time, and he's yelling at Meryl to escape but she's trapped underneath him. After she was also trapped in an elevator, and the elevator fell, and holy shit if i were her I would need extensive therapy to go into an elevator ever again, never mind all of Vash. And then as Vash's angel arm powers down it morphs again into this ungodly homunculus of body parts like it's fucking Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist (*Trigun predates FMA, to be clear) and he is apologizing profusely, knowing how terrifying it is and he has no control over what's happening with his body.

Huh. Between that and how Knives keeps assaulting him, that's a pretty painful running theme.

Thankfully, as Elendira takes the spotlight (my other wife) (she can do no wrong, I love her dearly), I think it gives Vash some time to cool down long enough to go back to "normal". And then he holds a dying Hoppered's hand, showing compassion to a man who tried to kill him but then re-experienced the horrors of July with him, showing that Vash still cares that despite how terrifying and destructive he can be when he loses it. And Meryl watches on.

#trigunbookclub #i am fucking COOKING with vashmeryl thoughts #vashmeryl #many more of these posts incoming i just. this one i had to get out first #i will gladly pay for both vash and meryl's therapy thank you #ive been waiting for this scene #trimax

[forlornkiller]

I think this ending was so good for this show because it keeps everybody in a state of motion. We’re able to almost picture or envision what the future is going to be like for them because some cycles are destined to repeat but each character has such different destinies you know? this show is so amazing every scene has so much to unpack…. im only gonna choose a couple moments but I hope they resonate

comparing Kendall and roman……. I think we all knew that roman was abused by Kendall growing up but in previous contexts, it seemed like he had changed…. at least yelling at Logan for his direct abuse but to see Kendall do that to Rome was fucking heartbreaking man . tears in my fucking eyes like he does not. deserve this. nobody fucking deserves this and fuck Logan Roy and every fucking abuser that willingly and even gleefully chooses fucking abuse. kendall seemed resigned to his fate to abuse his brother but it’s just not true man. maybe there was more sorrow than glee in his abuse but only maybe. and either way it’s not fucking right. The acceptance of their nothingness is different yet the same…… so many things are different but the same do u know what I mean ?

Kendall, with protection, but never able to do anything again is a fate i can accept for him. It was really interesting to see how their relationships with other people were again and may I just say. I think it’s quite incredibly clear what Kendall and Stewy had and currently flirt with…… i love that but I hate that for them. As delulu it might be for Stewy to think he can save Kendall, he totally thinks that and who knows . maybe some cool fuck shit happens and Kendall’s able to keep one relationship in his life he cares about. but I guess we won’t see .

Oof going back to Roman’s dig about Rava and her kids…….. i think his relationship with them is so fucked and there isn’t enough time for repentance. He spent so long holding onto a dream that was never real and not even worth having in the end, and knowing that so much of his life was around this one thing. seven years old to now….. maybe some intense psychotherapy and retrospection for years is what he needs. it’s probably the only thing he’s gonna get

,, and in this sense I almost wonder if Connor and Kendall are closer than ever as eldest boys. Connor was never offered the dream, and he never became anything. Kendall is what happens when you offer it and it disappears, making u realize it was never really there in the first place. Might’ve been something, but definitely isn’t now. I also think reducing Connor to nothing is not a fair characterization but he’s not really something either.

Shiv……… i wish there was a way free for her. I’m not the greatest at imagining shiv futures but I somehow see purgatory yet nothing at all. She got the deal, she didn’t get CEO and her reputation got a bit fucked but she’s still married to the CEO. whose baby she’s pregnant with. And who she doesn’t like, i don’t think. Because hurting her has been the way she understands love, i think she’s more into Tom than ever and i think she needs him. He holds a lot of power but in the end he offers love one way, she doesn’t respond that way and they stay together but apart. I can’t tell anymore if it’s real or fake. I think Shiv believes what she said, that once you say all the worst shit to each other you can still be together but part of that is WANTING to be together. If you say all the worst shit and at the end don’t know if you want to come back, then I think you shouldn’t get back together. They just keep making bad decisions. Sometimes relationships are best when both people realize how close they are is not how close they actually want to be or should be. Tom offering his hand in the car…….. she called him a phony and I think I agree. There might’ve been love there.. an opportunity to win love but Shiv doesn’t fight for those things, she takes them as givens. A lot of the tragedy in succession is about timing. Bad things happening right when things were getting good, maybe. The consequences of their actions meet later actions and become perfectly destructive. Okay i got distracted back to shiv and Tom i can’t tell who is trapping who with this baby. I am incredibly sad for this future child and wish that Tom got out now, fuck waystar royco and take his piece of shit and go!!!! but they’re in too deep now.

Switching to tomgreg 🤩 sucking the dick of white supremacy, but maybe making changes internally about how things are done. Tom is better than Logan on most levels I think, and great at his fucking job. Will he be able to counter Logan’s legacy with his own consider his part in advancing Logan’s? Wash his hands free from sins?? i don’t really think so but I think he might want to…….. i always have hope like a dumbass hehe but yea I have been wanting Tom and Gerri team up since the beginning on season 4 and while it’s sad to not see that in action, im glad it’s a definite future. I think she’ll see that Tom can actually be competent. Okay sandwiching Tom and Gerri with Tom and Greg, that sticker shit was fucking cute and I totally thought they were gonna kiss before that. Their fight was so fucking funny LOL i did genuinely enjoy watching that. Fed my tomgreg soul for sure 😌

In regards to mattson (and then I’m going back to Gerri and then I’m gonna SLEEP!!) i think what he wanted with his numbers happened, them getting lost in the deal dazzle? It went through and now everybody’s fucking rich. The thing is idk all the legal business stuff so is this gonna fuck everybody over in a couple weeks to months? No clue but for now Mattson’s kinda on top of the world. I really don’t like him tho hehe i hope he gets smashed to death by a pile of his own blood bricks. I wonder if Tom will actually be his front man, or try to kill him at some point too? The urge to serve is so strong in him…… but do I firmly believe that with a healthy kinky relationship with somebody PERHAPS GREG. he would be able to fulfill that and also rule the world? Absolutely man it’s just abt balance 😌 my belief that the acceptance of bdsm would fix so many things in our society & in succession is unshakable okay don’t question me. ANYWAYS

Gerri….. a queen as always. Roman pining from afar is so sad so tragic reminding himself of her with every drink he drinks and thought he thinks. One of THE biggest regrets and him saying that he’s nothing, that all the sibs are nothing? I think in this moment it’s true. I can feel how that is truth for him. With Gerri’s brief flashes of emotion during the funeral ….. i have hope. Succession aside, i really believe have faith in love and its power to save lives & transcend death. I think what they had bw them was real, and with the scripts as well I don’t think that connection was faked. What makes my heart hurt is that in the past it seemed like Gerri was the only one in the room who cared if he was hurt. She can’t necessarily protect him but she sees him. He doesn’t have that, the three sibs don’t have anybody that really loves & knows them enough to be able to deal with this trauma but I don’t think hope is totally gone. I’m an optimist in the end

God this is fucking long I’m a wordy person but overall? GOD i love this show!!! I really think they ended it at a great spot in this way where things keep going. Nobody’s story ever really ends, it feels like it does and to the person living their story it might but being able to watch their lives? You realize that it doesn’t end. I think Jesse’s commentary on the fear behind ending Succession here is super valid though, because there is a message here that is ultimately anti capitalist. If we were able to really see, at length the way we’ve seen the first cycles, how their cycles continue I think it would really wake a lot of people up to how things operate in this society. The longer this nation goes on, the longer the abuse this nation was founded from goes on. I’m going to end here but wow this show has given me so much to think about when it comes to love, abuse, capitalism, society & American culture as a whole like goddamn. What a show man what a show

#succession finale #LONG ASS FUCKING POST OKAY #kendall roy #roman roy #logan roy #tw abuse #stewy hosseini #kenstewy #rava succession #connor roy #shiv roy #tom wambsgans #tomshiv #greg hirsch #tomgreg #lukas matsson #gerri kellman #romangerri #succession thoughts #thanks for reading my essay :)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

starting a tag game for writers

Hi, it's Asmi! Okay, so, I've seen so many people afraid to start/continue writing because they're afraid it'll be garbage. And it's so sad how much joy and creativity is getting lost because of that fear. I've written utter shit before, and looking back on it is actually hilarious, and also, it's a reminder of how far I've come as a writer.

I really, really want people to be less afraid of the written word and of creating, and to get rid of that aura of mystery and elitism that often covers the writing process. Writing is messy and it's hell and it's torture. And it's amazing.

So here's the tag game:

Give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you love [fiction, non-fiction, from different works or the same, from completed stories or poems or WIPs, from yesterday or ten years ago] that you love. If that seems hard, even one will do. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can just be something silly that gives you joy.

And give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you dislike and find shitty. Anything at all as long as you wrote it. If you think it's ridiculous or absolute fucking garbage, even better! That's the point of this game. To see that we all write good things and bad things. Yeah? You can do this. And remember that both these categories are subjective.

I'll start. It's not as scary as it seems, I promise.

Things I've written that I find shitty:

The first man grabbed him by his collar, pinned him against the wall of the cave in which they were standing, and spat, “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before. If the Queen’s not in the graveyard tonight, King Baza’s going to plan a most delightful execution for you. And even if he doesn’t, you being his nephew and all, I will arrange an accidental blowing up of your house when you are, tragically, inside.” [discount wall slam scene courtesy of 2016 Asmi, you're welcome]

“Overreacting?” said Dextor in disbelief, staring at Jay like, ‘What is wrong with you, dude?’ [sigh. my serious-scene-writing left a lot to be desired.]

“Don’t go,” I said, fighting tears. “Please, don’t leave me, too! You’re all I have left.” Strange thoughts for a child, but I meant every word. She looked at me with anguish. “I am sorry, Phil. Believe me, you are all I have, too, and this hurts me more than it does you. You’re like my son.” [I'm hysterical rereading this melodramatic shit, which was NOT the intended effect]

Things that I've written that I love:

He dropped the books onto a nearby chair and pulled her into his arms as he’d been longing to do all day, the smell of blueberries and hair product and her. The books she was holding were pressed against his chest, and he didn’t care. Why did he need to love the stars when he could love her, why did he need to look up at the sky for answers when they were right there in his arms? [I love this because when I first wrote it, I thought it was romantic, but I realised later that the boy, Ant, is aroace, and it doesn't change a thing about this scene, except that their love is platonic]

"Maybe being happy is the best that we can do. Maybe that’s more than most people manage, anyway.” They stood in front of the entrance, over puddles that reflected all the broken skyscrapers and the colours of the street and the grey-yellow sky. “Whatever you do with your parents,” she said. “Don’t let your guilt get in the way of doing ballet. It’s not wrong to be happy. It’s not.” [This is from the book I finished and I published, and I just really like this paragraph. It's not my favourite, but it makes me smile.]

The last you may leave wherever you please, wherever it is birds land to die. [A line from a poem I wrote in 2022, I like the rhythm]

(It took effort to find ones that I wanted to share, oof. If you find this difficult just know you're not alone. I usually like my writing, but turns out it's hard to take something you created and go hey, look, I'm proud of this. But we can do it.)

Alright, of course anyone who sees this is welcome to join, and tag the writers you know so we can all be uh writerly together :") but to start it off, no pressure tags @howmanyholesinswisscheese, @1800ineedshelp, @queermarzipan, @thescholarlystrumpet, @madfangirlontheloose.

Oh, and also tagging @neil-gaiman, @dduane, @drchucktingle just because maybe if you see this and join in, new writers will find comfort in knowing their role models have ups and downs, good and bad days too :")

Have a lovely day, everyone, and keep writing.

#asmi #weirdly specific but ok #writing #tag game #writers on tumblr #writerblr

[onevolon]

be my darling

Poe Dameron x afab!reader

word count: 563

warning: single parents au. reader has a uterus. little angst somewhere in there but actually fluffy.

part2 - masterlist

“At first, I wasn’t sure if I should come here or not. Since I break the first rule of the club… Don’t bring your child!” she joked, holding her big belly “But honestly, I need all the support I can get because I’m kind of losing my mind thinking about the future of this baby.”

Everybody nodded sympathetically.

“I planned to be fully blunt about everything, so here it goes… I’m sure you are wondering about the father. The piece of shit cheated on me, so I dumped his ass. Who could have thought it would have some consequences?”

She clearly joked when she’s uncomfortable Poe thought, smiling a little. He remembered his first time at the single parents support group. He was definitely nervous, feeling like everybody was going to judge his every decision about Shara’s life, though he was ready to defend himself. Then the others got to talking and he was shocked to realize how common his experiences were. How every parent’s joy celebrated and understood. Every challenge a parent was struggling provided with some solution by the other, even though that caused arguments among the group sometimes. It was all constructive, so helpful and Poe was immensely grateful.

“How about you, Poe? How is it going in the Dameron household?”

Hearing his name, Poe shifted on his seat.

“Honestly, it’s been ruff. Shara’s mom is keep making new demands to extend the process. It's driving me crazy... and I think she does that to make me look bad but it’s not gonna work. She did kind of stuff when we were together too and now, she drags Shara into this mess too. I’m not going to let her do that. I’m over it. Not going to give her the attention she oh so desperately craves. I have to win this case and have my child to myself… Ah, but everything is good with Shara lately. She just learned how to jump rope at her school and of course demanded I buy her one so she can teach how to her friends at home... referring to her toys. A lot of jumping, falling and slapping her shins with the rope.”

Everybody chuckled to that and oof sound was also heard.

***

“So, we have something in common.”

Poe lifted his head from the cup he was filling.

“Douchebag ex partners.” The new woman said. Poe laughed a little.

“I guess we do.”

“Oh man, is that coffee? I would kill for some right now…”

“I thought you could have some, in moderation, no?”

“I went cold-turkey when I learned about the pregnancy because I have no self-discipline. If I have some now, I’ll come back and finish the whole thing.”

“I think going cold-turkey requires serious self-discipline.”

She smiled prettily to that and Poe felt his insides turn a little.

“How do you find the group so far?”

“It’s good, I like it here. Though I think I can’t be too picky, since not many would accept a pregnant lady as a single parent. Yet.”

“And that would be ridiculous. What kind of policy is that “no child, no support”? Anyways, I can’t recommend this group enough. We all are like friends here. They really helped me through out the years. I’m sure you will like them too.”

“You know I have a feeling I will enjoy this place.” She grinned, making him smile widely.

note: you can also read it on ao3.

#onevolon fic #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #star wars fanfiction #modern au #oscar isaac characters #oscar isaac fic #oscar isaac fanfiction #oscar isaac #single parents au #star wars #oscar isaac hernandez estrada

[saengak]

the Shimazus

Alright I'm giving in and making a post because I'm having feels about Koji and Akira's relationship.

They have such a strong bond. I love their banter and their little inside jokes about his concierge passing messages to and from his daughter. Akira teases him about having good karma. They even do their hair the same way with those shiny black wraps okay!

Look at how cute they're smiling:

Seeing each other is the bright spot in their day, I bet.

Then Koji gets triggered by criticism of John and goes full Asian Dad and oh boy Akira knows she's in trouble—

But he has either read some parenting books or seen enough movies to know what happens when you fight with loved ones while facing imminent danger, and catches Akira before she runs off to let her know that he loves her: "Please tell my daughter that I look forward to our dinner."

Look at this smile.

She's still worried, still upset, but the smile just comes out and she can't help it cause it's her dad trying to make things up to her by being funny. (Thank you Rina Sawayama for your great acting.)

She gives him a lot of puppy eyed looks throughout their appearance and I think Koji knows that, despite being all grown up, she still needs him a lot.

Then comes the wonderful Koji-John reunion scene with its banging one-liners. Whenever it comes to John though, Koji goes off his rocker a bit and drops all his parenting books.

Akira is basically begging him not to confront the High Table and he hardly even LOOKS at her before throwing off her hold on him and stalking off. Oofs.

Even John knows that he has stirred up some shit between father and daughter and he's never going to get out of Akira's bad books:

When Koji says, "Stay with Mr Wick", it's really kind of ambiguous whether he's asking Akira to protect John (haha I know but the Osaka Continental has to protect its guests and Akira can handle herself) or John to protect Akira (refer to John's "oh shit" face above). The point is, Koji puts his two most important people together and trusts that they will help each other make it out alive.

On a side note, I'm still laughing at how Koji and John actually fistbump each other before they part.

Once John is out of the picture, Koji picks up his parenting books again:

But he's reading from the samurai edition unfortunately. Akira knows that he's going off to die but not even the best puppy eyes will stop Koji from following his code of honour to the end.

Koji does that firm shake of their clasped hands like: You got this, Akira. Complete confidence in her. Then it's that fight... that amazing fight...

"Just take care of your daughter," Caine says.

"I am."

What do you mean, "I am"?? *shakes Koji*

Option 1: he's showing her the honourable way to live and die. I appreciate the spirit but that's not really taking care of your daughter Koji!! Caine definitely disagrees.

Option 2: he knows he's a dead man. He's been shot, he's been stabbed, and he's in so much pain he can hardly talk. If Akira's going to make an escape, she needs to do it without dragging his dead weight with her. She's never going to leave him behind willingly though, if there's even the slightest chance she could save him—so he has to die.

And he does.

I think nothing needs to be said about the way she holds him.

Time to write another fix-it.

#john wick 4 #john wick #koji shimazu #akira shimazu #john wick meta #that started off sweet and got depressing quick #john wick 4 spoilers

[wri0thesley]

I am so sorry if this is invasive and weird, but may I ask what you work as? I'm at the stage where I have to build my future and I know you don't have an age specified but you seem to be doing really well (at least from the posts we've seen, again I really hope not to be invasive) for yourself and your partner and 25+ is still young! Again, I hope this isn't mean or weird, I'm just curious. (and severely nervous. First year of college is ruining me harder than any fictional man.)

ahh anon i'm afraid that the answer is probably not what you're looking for!

for the record, i am 27, i just find getting fandom older a little scary, especially having it listed right there!!!

i actually intended to be a performer and a singing teacher (my degree was going to be in music & musical theatre); unfortunately, due to a plethora of reasons (mostly my undiagnosed autism, unmedicated ocd/depression/anxiety combo, a nervous breakdown and my partner's physical health declining) i dropped out of my degree before the end of my first semester.

for about three years or so after that i was severely agoraphobic. talking 'can't answer the door' agoraphobic; 'never left the house alone, and even when with someone only went to the doctors and therapy' agoraphobic, 'rotted in my bedroom in an absolutely non romanticised way' agoraphobic. i was on the equivalent of disability because i literally could not function. meanwhile, my partner, who lived with me and my parents was getting physically worse whilst i was mentally struggling (since then haz has been diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome, fibromyalgia, lipoedema, thyroid issues and a lot of other things; they have a lot going on). i DID access several therapies, had . . . a couple of very bad relapses, went under crisis teams and all of that stuff (i had occupational therapy too which was HONESTLY i think one of the most useful things and helpful things for me in the long run; i cannot imagine what i would be like if i hadn't had the occupational therapist the crisis team found for me).

(coincidentally, if you are an og jojo follower you probably remember how bad it was; i've said it a hundred times, but running this silly little reader-insert blog probably helped save my life at a time when i had almost no contact with the outside world. i couldn't leave my bedroom, but i had my blog and i had my little internet friends and discord server).

i have gotten a lot better.

haz, unfortunately, has not gotten better physically and probably never will. they need help with a lot of things most people don't even realise disabled people might need help with. brushing their hair, fastening clothes . . . when haz first moved in, they were doing the same dance-intensive college course that i was. we danced maybe three or four hours a day. nowadays, haz needs me to hold their hand and keep them steady when they go from our bed to the bathroom (the room next door).

so i don't really 'work' as anything. well, my therapist would tell me off for saying that; the uk government classes me as an 'unpaid carer', which basically means i am on call for haz literally 24/7 and they pay me the pittance that is carer's allowance (carer's allowance assumes you care at least 35 hours a week, and pays you the privilege of about 45 pence per each of those hours. if, like me, you live with the person you care for and do more than those hours, it gets . . . yeah. oof. the government unfortuately know that most unpaid carers are loved ones and family members of the person who needs care and won't just stop doing it, and they'd be in the shit if we did because trained carers are expensive, so they can get away with that - FUCK the tories, honestly.

i am EXCEEDINGLY lucky that i live in a cheap area of the uk, that haz and i are internet savvy enough to be able to access carers/disability discounts, that we are in rent-controlled social housing (which my crisis team helped find for us because living with my parents was taking such a toll on us both, woo!!!!), and that we've been able to access services to help on the nhs. i got my autism assessment and diagnosis; haz is under several pain management teams.

all in all, i'm happy. i'm so much happier than i was seven years ago when i'd dropped out of university and felt like a huge failure, because all of my life i was a gifted overachiever and i thought my self-worth was tied to my academic achievements (and as an extension, what roles i got in what shows and when and who saw me and so on). i don't have a lot of money (i am a bargain shopped fgbnkjgjnfb) but i know what i like and because i'm Older Now (tm) i've amassed collections of it.

i am absolutely sure that you'll boss college, anon! that you will find that thing that works for you (one day i would LOVE to go back and get my degree! pre-covid i had an acceptance for a creative writing degree and i was getting ready to go back to uni as a mature student, but haz's health got bad again and then covid happens - and now ofc i have my autism diagnosis i can access so much more help!). but even if you don't, you can absolutely find happiness without 'traditional' success.

i don't have a lot in the grand scheme of things. but you're right in that i am doing pretty well, in terms of where i am, and where i've been. i have my own little home. i have my partner of ten years who is my soulmate in every conceivable way. i've had experiences that make me feel so happy i sometimes cry when i remember them. i have my own little cat now!!! things still stress me out. but i have come so so far and when i feel down i remember that.

good luck anon! i believe in you <3

#nat.txt

[imtryingmybeskar]

Come Home Chapter Eleven

Joel Miller x F! Reader

Word count: 5555

The Winter Dance is finally upon us!

This is basically fluff. Start to finish. No spoilers really, except mention of a few characters who become important in TLOU 2 (Jesse and Dina). Ellie also calls Joel a fogey in TLOU 2 and it stuck with me. This is pretty dialogue heavy compared to most chapters.

Also please don't skate on frozen ponds. It's a good way to die. And definitely don't use 20+ year old make up. It's a good way to get eye infections.

Come Home

Chapter Eleven - Dreams Of Yesterday

“Come on, Joel!”

“I am really not sure about this!”

“Just…c’mon. Do it for Ellie!”

“Oh, that is a low blow.”

“Fine, then do it for the coffee.”

“That’s even lower!” you hear him bellow as you whizz past and you cackle to yourself as you do another circuit.

The journey to the lake was barely fifteen minutes on horseback, and when you had spied it through the trees you had given a sharp intake of painfully cold breath at the simplistic yet staggering beauty in front of you. The perfectly clear, deep blue sky arching above provided a stark backdrop to the bare bones of the trees and dark pines that lined it thickly. Their reflections would be beautifully mirrored at any warmer time, but the solid circumference of pearlescent silver blue that stretched ahead delighted you far more and is exactly what you hoped you would find.

Dismounting the horse, you had pulled two pairs of skates from your backpack and turned to Joel grinning wickedly.

“Wait, are you kiddin’ me?”

“I thought I’d give a pair to Ellie for Christmas, teach her how. But we obviously need to make sure the ice is safe. If it can hold our weight, it can hold hers.”

“And what if it doesn’t?” he had asked, jumping down from his own horse.

“It will,” you promised. “I used to skate like this a lot. Besides, you know I’d never put her in danger.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” he grumbled, fiddling unnecessarily with the saddlebags.

“Just…trust me,” you had said, thrusting the skates at him before beginning to put yours on. “It will be fun.”

Ten minutes later he was still prevaricating on the shore. You meanwhile had been delighting in the freeing feeling of speeding around, the freezing air ruffling your clothes and biting at your cheeks in a very pleasant way. You approach where Joel is hanging on to a tree at the edge of the lake, his skates finally on his feet. Your gloved hands seek his and you tug him toward the ice.

“I haven’t done this in years,” he protests gently.

“Neither have I. It’s just like riding a bike.”

“Well I haven’t done that in years either.”

“You’ll be fine,” you reassure him. “Just think of the coffee.”

“Are you bribin’ me?”

“Bribe is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as emotional blackmail.”

He laughs and it’s a warming, lovely thing amid the frosty air.

As he steps on the ice his eyes widen and he immediately begins to flail as his legs skid underneath him. For such a big man, he resembles nothing so much as a newborn giraffe on shaky legs and you try and fail to suppress your giggles.

“Its okay! Joel? Joel! Look at me, you’re oka-“

The last word is cut off as he finally tips too far and sits down hard on the ice with an “Oof!” He’s still clinging on to your hands for dear life so manages to drags you down too, and you land somewhat painfully on your knees in between his legs.

“Oh shit!” he exclaims. “You hurt?”

You shake your head, unable to speak around the laughter that spills out.

“Well, least we know for sure the ice ain’t gonna give,” he says wryly as you get up and help to pull him to his feet. “But I’m too damn old for this.”

“Aw come on. You’re not that old. And besides, you think Ellie’s gonna give up that fast? You’ll get back into it.”

Once he gets his feet under him and remembers how to move on the ice, he ends up being pretty good. You are patient with him, first skating backward with both of his hands in yours and leading him gently until he feels confident enough to skate next to you holding on to just one hand. When he manages to do a wobbly circuit alone you cheer him on, and his smile grows wide under his flushed, cold-pinkened cheeks. To your surprise but utter delight, he slides his hand back into yours again to complete a few more passes across the ice, your voices raised together in laughter as you move joyously through the perfect winter scenery.

“So…when even is Christmas?” you ask an hour later as you lean against a pine to put your normal boots back on. “Tomorrow? Next week?”

“Coupla weeks,” he replies, grimacing as the cold hits his socked feet before he has a chance to stuff them into his own boots. “Maria somehow managed to keep an accurate calendar all this time. Thanksgivin’ was just before you came to town.”

“Oh!” you say in surprise. “Then…” You trail off.

“What’s up?” he asks as he bends to begin tying his laces.

“Nothing. Its silly really. Its just…that means that it was my birthday. Probably around the time I arrived in Jackson. I’ve not really thought about it. I know how old I am, obviously, and I knew since it was winter it was sometime around now. I just…haven’t marked it since…well, you know.”

“Hmm,” he grunts non-committally, and he touches the place on his coat where his watch lies underneath in a seemingly unconscious gesture. “Well, I’ll haveta get you a drink at the dance then.”

“Oh…yeah. When is that again?” You try to force your voice to sound casual. He hadn’t mentioned it since the clocktower the previous week and you had followed his lead, still not entirely certain whether he had just been neighbourly when he had asked you to go.

“This Saturday. Ellie hasn’t quit talkin’ about it for days. Some of the other kids will be there. Think she’s a little nervous about it all.”

“Understandable. I remember my first dance. I was terrified. Ended up having drinks with my best friend beforehand just to calm the nerves. Not that she needs that kind of courage,” you add hastily.

“If anyone has a way of winnin’ people over, its her,” Joel agrees, a begrudging admiration to his tone. “We’ll come by ‘round sundown if that’s okay with you.”

“Sounds great,” you say, and you hide your grin by bending over your pack to shove your skates inside.

Though you had been given clothes by Maria when you arrived and are grateful that they are both warm and free of any kinds of disgusting stains, at the moment you are cursing the fact that they are also all extremely practical. An hour before Joel and Ellie are due to come over, you stare at your reflection with a sigh and root around in your closet for the third time in the hope that something distinctly impractical and extremely sexy has materialised since the last time you looked. Strangely, it has not. So you make do with jeans, your boots, and a flattering and fairly low cut vest top with a more practical but still figure hugging long sleeved shirt over it. Most of the make up you had nabbed from the store is unusable, as you had imagined, but you manage to eke out a little eyeshadow and a little tinted lip balm. Just enough that you feel slightly more dressy than usual.

The knock at the door startles you, even though you have been anticipating it with nervous excitement all day, and you smooth your hair and pull on your coat before opening it. Ellie is bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet in front of the door, Joel lounging at the bottom of your porch steps.

“Hi,” you greet them warmly. “All set?”

“Yup,” says Ellie excitedly.

“Anyone would think you actually do wanna be around people,” you tease as you pull the door to.

“Pfft, I just don’t wanna spend another night playing cards with you guys,” she fires back. “Fogeys, both of you.”

You hold your hand over your heart and pretend to be deeply wounded even as Joel lets out a disbelieving scoff.

“You’re just mad ‘cause I always beat you at Go Fish.”

As you walk to the centre of town you look up to see that the sky is a perfect winter sunset – violently orange and pink and gold in the west and fading to a purple black up above where the first stars can be seen emerging. It seems like the whole town will be in attendance tonight. People are coming from every side street, stepping from porches after closing up their shops and houses and all are heading in the same direction – a largeish building that you have never been into before but that you have noticed on your wanderings around town. You had been slightly anxious about the prospect of being around so many people all at once after so long, but you found that with Ellie by your side and Joel next to her, it wasn’t so bad and you could focus on the excitement of the night building in the air instead.

As you approach the hall music swells and you hear whoops and cheers and clapping from within. A sudden burst of warmth spreads throughout you to join the pleasant anticipation you’re already feeling – despite everything, despite what lay outside, these people were being so very human, gathering together and celebrating nothing more than the fact that they were alive.

“Ellie! Hey!”

The girl who calls to her is with small group of teenagers up ahead. She is about Ellie’s age, dark haired and dark eyed with tendrils of hair escaping her high ponytail to frame her face.

“Oh, hey Dina,” Ellie calls back, and then gives Joel a sideways glance.

“Well go on then, don’t let us fogeys cramp your style,” he murmurs in an amused tone, and she leaps forward, rushing to join the group without looking back.

“Guess I don’t have to worry about drinking in front of her and being a bad example,” you smile.

The hall is packed with people and the warmth of their collective body heat begins to thaw your frozen extremities almost immediately. The walls are made of a cosy, rustic wood, with thick, dark coloured drapes across the windows to keep out the winter’s night. Metal-framed lanterns cast their patterns to the ceiling, strings of lights have been hung from the rafters above and splay in random bursts across the walls, tables and chairs have been pushed back to the edges of the room to maximise space to dance. People twirl, faces delighted and free in a way you haven’t seen in so many years. Your eyes rove over the scene feasting upon the sight of joy and happiness. When they flick to Joel he is looking down at you with an appraising smile, the low light making his eyes twinkle black.

“Its beautiful,” you murmur, though you’re sure your voice is lost in the music that stirs the room.

You and Joel make your way to the wooden panel of the bar, where several other people stand propping it up – watching the dancers, chatting, laughing, throwing back drinks.

“Lemmie get you that birthday drink. Whaddya havin’?” Joel enquires.

“What do they have?”

“Beer, whiskey, wine, some folk brew their own moonshine but even I’d think twice about that!”

“Wine sounds good. Thanks!”

As Joel waits for Seth to serve him, you take off your gloves and stuff them in the pocket of your coat before taking that off too, folding it and holding it against your stomach. You spot Chloe and Vanessa across the bar from you, deep in conversation. Chloe catches your eye and waves and when you return it Vanessa also turns to greet you. Once she spies Joel next you she raises a very suggestive eyebrow and grins widely, making the heat rise into your cheeks. They resume their talking, now smiling and casting occasional speculative glances in your direction.

Joel turns back to you, holding out a glass of reddish liquid and you take no small pleasure in his subtle double take when he sees you properly, his dark gaze taking you in before he passes the wine to you.

“You look…nice,” he offers.

“Thanks. It’s the lack of bloodspatter I think.”

“He snorts into his beer, almost choking on his laugh before he manages to swallow the liquid.

“Yeah, that’s gotta be it.”

He places his beer on the bar and removes his own thick coat. He looks much the same as he does day to day – you hadn’t been expecting a tux after all – but since you very much enjoy how he looks anyway, you allow your own gaze to linger briefly on the triangular patch of freckled skin that the undone top buttons allow you to see, the straining of the material across his broad chest and shoulders.

“You look good too,” you say simply and he inclines his head in thanks as he gently clinks his glass against yours. The slightly bitter taste of blackberry explodes on your tongue as you take your first sip of the wine and you both stand with your back to the bar, observing the spectacle in front of you. His arm brushes yours as he moves, and while you know it’s only accidental you still get a tiny tingle across your skin.

“So…you come here often?” he ventures and now it’s your turn to splutter into your drink.

“Smooth, Joel.”

“Look who’s talkin’. You damn near spat your drink across the dancefloor.”

“I’ll bet you were king of the cheesy pick up line in your day.”

“Thought you said I wasn’t that old.”

“I didn’t say when your day was now did I?”

“Hmmm…fine, fine, you’re pullin’ it back,” he mutters, taking another swig of beer. “But no, I never dated much. Havin’ a kid and workin’ all the time didn’t leave much over for shit like that.”

You cover your surprise and embarrassment with another gulp of wine. You hadn’t been serious with your comment and hadn’t thought it an invitation to actually get him to share anything with you. But since he had…

“It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be,” you sigh. “Not that I did much of it anyway. I guess I was lucky in that regard. Got married shortly after college.”

Your hand shakes a little as you make the confession, and you cover it by taking two large gulps of wine. You can see Joel facing you in your peripheral vision, but don’t feel able to meet his eyes right now. Instead you focus on the dancing, the pairs of people moving seamlessly together round and round the floor, their happy faces bathed in the soft glow of the lights. You spot Ellie standing against the opposite wall, chatting animatedly with a tall boy with a mop of black hair and the girl you had seen earlier and then hear the empty clink of a bottle as Joel puts it on the bar. He asks the only question you have any interest in answering right now.

“Another?”

Another goes down nicely, as does the third. After getting away from the insidious topic you and Joel had been skirting around earlier, you find yourself relaxing into the night again and enjoying the conversation that flows. Tommy and Maria come to chat, as do Chloe and Vanessa. Ellie ducks in and out, appearing suddenly at your elbow as you sit atop your barstool and disappearing again just as quickly.

The evening takes on a hazy, fuzzy texture after a while and you are very aware that you are treading the line of having drunk far too much, but the alcohol and laughter buzzing through you makes you unable to care.

Do you dance, Joel?" you ask him, drunkenly.

"You askin'?"

"Pfft hell no. Trus' me, you don't want my feet anywhere near yours. You'll have bruises f'r dayyyys!" you smile. "Bu' I want you to have a good time tonigh'. Not jus' sittin' here babysittin' me. If you wanna dance, go dance."

"Oh I'm doin' just fine here," he confirms, raising his beer toward you. Tommy's the dancer of the two of us. I just sing." He suddenly clams up at your overly delighted expression.

"You siiiing?" you ask, intrigued.

"Well, sometimes," he smiles.

“ 'm gonna haveta hear you one of these days. Set up Jackson's first karaoke bar jus' f'r you."

"Aw hell no," he says fervently. "I'll take my chances on the outside if that's the way you're gonna play it!"

You giggle before taking another sip of wine, allowing yourself to look at him much more fully than you would if you were sober. His big, strong hands are picking at the edge of the rounded paper that passes for beer mats here, the movement causing muscles in his exposed forearm to twitch hypnotically back and forth. You give yourself a little shake and try to focus on conversation.

“So…where did you get your coffee hookup before me ‘s what I wanna know,” you slur at Joel, resting your hand heavily on your chin as you look at him.

“Oh, I was jonesing for a while,” he smiles.

A thought strikes you and you voice it, ignoring the slight pang in your heart as you do.

“Wha’ ‘bout Chris?”

Even in your inebriated state you notice Joel’s face darken and then the shutters come down, his eyes closing off and his smile fading to nothing.

“What about her?”

“Well when she came b’fore? I know she traded some of it las’ time she was here.”

He laughs and you detect a note of bitterness. “Trust me, she wouldn’ta traded with me.” He turns to his drink, sips it and you study him. The realisation hits you like a thunderbolt and your lack of filter at this particular time makes the words that come next unstoppable.

“Ohhh, you’re asshole Joel!” you exclaim. Heat suffuses your cheeks immediately afterward and you begin to splutter. “Fuck! I…s-shit. Shit! I’m so sorry, that wasso rude! It’s jus’ she mentioned a guy called Joel who-“

“Was an asshole?” he supplies, a wry smile curling one side of his lips.

“Well yeah but…oh Christ, fuck I’M the asshole,” you groan hopelessly.

He turns back to you and holds up a placating hand.

“I’ll forgive ya if you let me tell my side of the story,” he offers.

You bury your head in your hands. “Maybe one day I c’n talk to you without embarrassin’ myself. Today is appar’ntly not that day,” you mutter half to yourself.

Warmth covers your hand and you feel a gentle tugging. You go with it, let him pull your hand away from your face and look up at him expecting to see at least some annoyance, but there is only indulgent amusement.

“I’d seen her around a coupla times before we spoke. She wasn’t usually here long enough for me to actually get to know her. One night she came into the bar, came on to me. Very drunkenly, very loudly and very publicly. I said I wasn’t interested in the nicest way I could, but that far down the whiskey bottle she didn’t seem to understand subtlety anymore. So…I rejected her as publicly as she had propositioned me. And she did not take kindly to it.”

“Yikessss,” you replied, grimacing. “Sounds messy. I feel like I should apologise for her but um…well, uh…” You trail off and to your horror feel your chin begin to wobble.

“Hey,” Joel says softly, his eyes raking your face. “Are you okay?”

“Uhhh yup,” you manage as you take a sip of wine and swallow hard, pushing the sudden pain of her loss down inside to be released at a more appropriate time. “So uh…why did you say no? Fuck! That’s…that’s also embarassin’. Sorry. I’ll shut up…jus’…jus’ ignore me.”

He lets out a short peal of laughter. “Between the coffee and the ice skatin’ and the bein’ next door neighbours, I’m not sure ignorin’ you is an option.” His smile fades once more but his face is still kindly. “It’s ok. I understand. It’s still fresh.” You raise your eyes to his again and nod, not trusting yourself to speak this time. “Well, to answer your question, I tend not to sleep with drunk women, especially not when I’m stone cold sober. And to be honest…not my type.”

Relief that he’s not annoyed with you, mixed with inebriation makes you a little giddier than you would ordinarily be, and you let out a loud scoffing noise.

“Oh come on! Chris is everyone’s type!”

The vision of her battered face suddenly swims into your mind, lower jaw broken half off and blood marring her smooth skin as she snarled mindlessly at you before you put her out of her misery. You shudder and your breath catches in your chest as you realise what you said.

“I mean…I mean was…”

You stand up abruptly and can’t quite meet Joel’s eyes anymore for fear that you might break if you are faced with any kind of kindness or humanity at this moment.

“ ’m drunk,” you announce, entirely unnecessarily. “And ’m about to bring down the mood. I should go home.”

It’s only when you begin to walk away that you realise he is still holding on to your hand and you look down at it stupidly before looking back up at him.

“If you wanna go, I’ll walk you. Told you I’d get you home safe.”

“No, you should stay. Ellie-“

“Ellie left twenty minutes ago with her friends. They said they’d walk her home. She’s old enough and smart enough not to get herself into too much trouble in the meantime. Come on.”

With one smooth movement he stands and places your hand into the crook of his elbow, steadying your steps as you make your way outside. The freezing night air hits you with force, and you immediately feel its sobering effects. The snow crunches under your feet as you traverse the distance to your house, Joel’s warmth extremely welcome on one side of your body.

“ ’m sorry,” you mutter. “You shouldn’t haveta look after me.”

“I knew what I was signin’ up for. And so did you.” You give him a grumpy look and he laughs. “Well, you did say you wanted this.”

“Urgh, so dumb,” you murmur, already feeling the potential headache start to form.

“You think those folk in there are gonna be feelin’ good tomorrow? Just…let yourself want things.”

His words strike a chord deep within you. It’s a dangerous, dangerous idea. To want anything in this world was to leave yourself vulnerable. Avoid unnecessary risk at all costs, that was the rule. But here in Jackson it was different, wasn’t it? You could count on four strong walls, warmth, food. You could count on not being woken by terrible noises, of people trying to batter down the doors you had fortified or infected seeking you out. And maybe…just maybe…you could count on him.

“You okay?” he asks beside you. “Gone awful quiet over there.”

“ ’m good,” you reassure him. “Just…thinkin’”

Of your thighs bracketing one of his, strong, muscled arms sweeping over your back, of his lips brushing over your neck, whispering in that deep, sinful voice that he wanted you right here and right now…Christ.

You pull your mind back with an effort and realise you are almost at your door. He won’t want you, you know that. He wouldn’t when you were in this state anyway, but you’re too much of a chaotic mess in general to be an attractive prospect to someone like him. But... you also don’t want him to leave just yet.

“Will you come in for a bit?” The question sounds reedy and feeble to your ears, less of an invitation and more of a plea.

“Sure. I wasn’t just gonna dump you on the doorstep you know,” he smiles.

“Yeah I know. You’re good like that. You take care of people.” Maybe the cold hasn’t sobered you up as much as you think because part of you is aware that you’re still far too loose tongued for your own liking. “Wish I’d known you ten years ago,” you mutter. “Coulda done with someone lookin’ out for me.”

You feel his arm tense up beside you, and then slowly relax. “Naw,” he says shortly. “I wasn’t the same person ten years ago.”

“I was,” you giggle stupidly. “A fuckin’ mess then and a fuckin’ mess now.”

He stops and turns to you, placing his warm hand on your shoulder. “If you were that much of a mess, you think I’d want you hangin’ out with Ellie?”

“Fuckin’…panic attacks-” you mumble, trying hard not to focus on how close he was to you.

“So what?” he interjects. “We all got our shit. You can take care of what needs to be taken care of when it matters. And-“ he takes a deep breath and sighs it out heavily, his breath hanging white and twisting in the frozen air. “-I’m sorry if I made you think that I didn’t think you could.”

The apology wasn’t asked for and you don’t even feel that its warranted, but you get the impression that he’s not a man to apologise often or lightly.

“Thanks. And s’ok,” you slur. “I’d be wonderin’ ‘bout you too if you freaked out over a dark room in your own house.” You smile up at him and your attention is suddenly drawn by what is above his head. “Wowww,” you gasp breathily. He follows your gaze upward.

Stars. Thousands of them. Millions. Clusters and swirls and galaxies in the crystal clear winter sky above you twinkling silver and pale blue and pink, the dusty green and orange cloud of the milky way running through it all. There were so many. There were too many for you to comprehend. You crane your neck too far, and dizziness brought on by the alcohol overtakes you and makes you stagger backwards. Joel clutches your shoulder a little tighter, steadying you on your feet.

“Come on,” he laughs. “Let’s get you inside.”

With the absence of a fire burning this evening the house is cold, and you realise just how much you’re looking forward to wrapping yourself in your duvet. The stairs in front of you look like an insurmountable foe, and the thought of being cosy is the only thing that gets your feet moving clumsily up them. You half stumble and Joel catches you again, stopping you from faceplanting.

“Okay, I’m gonna come up if that’s alright? I think I’d feel better if I knew you weren’t gonna fall down the stairs.” You nod, suddenly too weary for words.”

Staggering into the bedroom, you fumble with the bedside lamp a couple of times before you manage to flick it on, half blinding yourself in the process.

“Thanks, Joel. F’r everythin’. I had fun tonight,” you say. Being in your house has sapped you of any remaining giddy excitement of the evening, and all that was left was a drunken exhaustion that only sleep could remedy. Not that you wanted him to leave, especially. You just desperately wanted to close your eyes.

Instead of taking the hint, Joel frowns as he looks down at your bed.

“Where’s your pillows and stuff?” he asks and you can’t even find it in yourself to be embarrassed by the truth.

“Jus’ throw me in the tub, I’ll be fine.”

“What, you gonna take a bath now?”

“Not exacly,” you slur.

You fumble with the bathroom door and open it, showing him the nest you’ve made for yourself. He gives you a look of puzzlement and you sigh at the thought of the effort you have to expend to provide an explanation, keeping it as brief as you can when you do speak.

“House felt too big. Bed felt too big. Used to Chris nex’ to me. Can actually sleep in here. Sometimes.”

You expect an amused smile at your ridiculousness, but instead you see a flash of pity in his eyes and the wave of shame you feel is boosted to annoyance by the wine.

“Mus’ be hell on your back,” he mutters.

“S’fine. I’m makin’ it work,” you inform him tersely.

“Well…not tonight. Come on.”

Before you can argue he has scooped the pillow and duvet from the bathtub and has begun rearranging your bed for you. The annoyance you feel starts to soften around the edges into something else in the face of his concern for you and you try to pull it back, to hone it into something sharp again. You don’t want him to pity you. You don’t want him to think you’re incapable of managing your own shit. And now, perhaps, you do want him to leave.

“Joel if I’m sleepin’ in that bed, you’re stayin’ with me.”

His movements stop abruptly and he looks over his shoulder at you, his eyes wide with shock.

“Not like that,” you protest, hands on your hips. “Mind outta the gutter…wait what’s your last name?”

“It’s Miller,” he says, emphasising the last word in a rough and slightly put-upon way as he turns back to his task and begins to shake out your pillows.

“Mind outta the gutter, Miller,” you say as if you hadn’t interrupted yourself. “If you’re so hell bent on me sleepin’ there tonight, you gotta stay. Even with half the wine stock Jackson’s got inside me, soon as you step outside ‘m gonna have to get right back in that tub.”

His hands no longer busy, he turns to you, the soft light from the bedroom lamp outlining his broad frame as he puts his hands on his hips too.

“Okay,” he says softly.

“No funny business,” you continue grandly, your brain very slow to catch up with your ears. “Clothes on, shoes off and – wait, what?”

“I said okay,” he repeats, a small smile on his face. “I can witness that hangover you were so desperate to recreate.”

You freeze where you stand. You don’t know what to do. You actually don’t know what to do. You expected him to shrug and bid you goodnight and walk away to leave you to it. You never expected him to actually agree to this. To sleep next to you. All night. To wake up next to him. With your inevitable messy hair and morning breath and puffy eyes. Not that he hasn’t witnessed that before but not like this. Not so close. Not together.

His broad form is so casually relaxed only feet away from you. How can he be this calm, how can his eyes betray such amusement when you’re screaming so loud inside? Your brain is short circuiting again and you do the only thing it will allow. You blow a raspberry at him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make the coffee in the morning,” he laughs.

“You better,” you mutter darkly.

“I’m gonna go get you some water, okay?”

“Thank you,” you say in a small voice.

While he’s gone you take the opportunity to go to the bathroom, wash your face, brush your teeth and get dressed in your usual baggy t shirt that you use for sleeping in. Tonight, you add a pair of leggings but whether its to make yourself or him more comfortable you really can’t tell.

By the time you emerge from the bathroom he’s sitting on your bed and halfway through taking his boots off. You want to tell him it's okay, to not be silly, that you were only joking, that he doesn’t have to do this. You also really do want to sleep in that bed. Especially if you get to wake up next to him. So you say nothing. You allow yourself to want.

The bed itself is cold under the duvet and you shiver as you pull the covers tight around you. Joel lies down with a groan, closing his eyes and grinding his back into the mattress as he settles in.

“Uh, Joel?”

“Hmm?”

“You can…you can get under the duvet too you know. It’s…kinda cold.” Internally you roll your eyes at your unceasing ability to state the fucking obvious in front of him.

He holds your gaze for a moment longer than you find comfortable before getting into the bed properly, and relaxing back into the mattress again. You reach for the light, managing to switch it off first time this time before lying on your side away from him. The presence of another person - this person – is just as comforting as you knew it would be, and that in addition to the alcohol soon has you floating in a dreamy, near sleep.

“Hey.” Joel’s voice husks into the dark. When you turn on your other side to face him, he’s still lying flat on his back, but his face turns to you and in the dim light of the room you can see the hollows of his eyes and his facial hair standing dark against the rest of him. And you can see the smile as it spreads slowly across his face.

“I had fun tonight too.”

@thisshipwillsail316 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @elegantduckturtle @dihra-vesa @midwesternwitchery @just-here-for-the-moment @eri16 @readsalot73 @littlemisspascal @princessxkenobi @harriedandharassed @pagannightwitch @tentacruels @kirsteng42 @shirks-all-responsibilities @deadhumourist @pedrostories @abbyhaslongshorts @celebrtyskinz @majahu @sanscas @myloveistoolittle

Next chapter

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel tlou x reader #joel tlou x you #joel tlou x f!reader #joel tlou x female reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou fanfic #joel tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #joel the last of us x reader #joel the last of us x you

[demiesworld]

What demon/slayer boy (demon and human) do you think got the fattest ass

not including the minors bc obv they're minors so no tanjiro, inosuke, none of that no no.

hmm lemme see what demon boy i think got a fattie?

there's literally no one else i can think of besides from my baby girl enmu. i mean, have we all seen his figure and how this mofo arches his damn back? like bro you can't tell me the backshots on this man won't be loud as hell. baby girl got THE clappers!!! the shape of his ass is a perfect fucking peach too. that's why i headcanon he can pull off wearing thongs and shit bc of it.

second place to enmu (demon-wise) would have to be douma. only bc he has a more muscled figure and while i may find muscled men attractive, when it comes to the body i like to squeeze on some meat. and douma to me, looks like he don't got meat anywhere else besides from his ass and his dick.

there's no one else in third, fourth or fifth bc *head shakes* none of the others demons that i can think of can compare to these two. not even my bby aizetsu :(

BUT FOR THE HOOMANS-

i gotta say that daddy tengen has a fat ass out of the humans. ALSO WITH HIM BEING THE SOUND HASHIRA- YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT HIS ASS DOES NOT CLAP WHILE HE'S IN IT!!! YOU JUST CAN'T! FOR ME IT IS CANON THAT IT DOES THIS!!! he has a round, firm ass with just enough fat on it for it to jiggle like jello. i headcanon that it's perky like that bc you know my daddy works out a lot and he never skips leg day oof-

second place is my loml kyojuro. since he is a bit of a foodie like my bestie mitsuri, i headcanon that the weight he gains goes to his thighs and to his ass. kyojuro has a square butt shape going on, but it ain't flat. it is soft, squeezable, nice to hold on when you're like laying down in bed together. plus you get the bonus of his thick toned thighs to rub on.

i was gonna add on haganezuka as like a third place, but you said SLAYERR and not you know just human lol though if there was a spot for hotaru it would be third place. im not gonna elaborate whytho-

#demies asks #tengen uzui #uzui tengen #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #enmu #douma #hotaru haganezuka #haganezuka hotaru #haganezuka #demon slayer #kny

[sarcastic-kaz]

akaza’s backstory

heyo so i decided to do live notes on me reading this guys backstory. my mom says she literally cried when she read a year before me, and that its really sad so i wanted to keep my live reactions bcs this isnt my first time screaming at the plot twists in demon slayer. i start the live notes in the beginnings of chapter 154 and im also reading the manga in japanese so i might have mistranslated/misunderstood some things lol

SPOILERS BELOW THIS IS YOUR WARNING

initial thoughts on akaza: idk hes pretty fruity like the mugen train arc “oni ni nare, kyoujurou” in japanese was omg just. so fucking fruity. and he said the same freaking thing to giyuu omgs- also he hates douma and wants to kill kokushibo but idk what to really feel about him. anyways ive seen the little hints at the girl holding his hand and he tried to punch it, and his head grew back bc he said he had to get stronger???

live notes start here (just jot notes):

- damn she pulling out the existential crisis on akaza

- oh his dads sick boo hoo

- woah wait is he a pickpocket?

- oh my fucking wait is that why he looks like a basketball???

- holy shit is this where he becomes a basketball?

- like every time he gets caught stealing he gets a mark as punishment

- damn how many times did u get caught bruh

- welp idk how hed steal without his hands

- oof he just got called a demon child well hes a demon moon now

- oh wait my mom specified for me it means a kid who was born with teeth

- HOLY SHIT NAME DROP DUDE THATS A NICE NAME

- OMG HIS DAD KILLED HIMSELF JUST LIKE ZENITSUS TEACHER

- dude this suicide letter like ‘i cant take medicine bought by stolen money sorry for making myself a bother for you live a good life’

- oh hes mourning by hurting himself fighting people

- “even if it took 100 years for my dad to heal” and he kept half of that promise

- damn akazas backstory is just him getting beat up by everyone he meets

- and hes just like taking the beatings bc he wanted his dad to get medicine

- well fuck medicine for special diseases does cost a lot poor akaza

- and his dad just killed himself anyway

- still dont know who the girl is

- damn i wouldnt be able to stand getting whipped and bones broken for my parents

- huh he beat the living shit out of seven adults

- and he didnt get a scratch and hes also a kid

- who tf is that guy it seems akaza also has the same question

- oh is this guy who applauded akaza some sort of sensei i mean he has a dojo

- why does akazas personality sort of remind me of inosukes ‘fight me bitch’ type thing

- oh shit theyre gonna fight

- that wasnt so much of a fight than a man slapping a kid silly

- nother name drop keizou

- OOF AKAZAS FACE LOL

- oh akaza is gonna take care of a girl?

- HOLY SHIT ITS THAT GIRL I THINK WAIT HER NAME IS KOYUKI

- I SMELL BUDDING TEEN ROMANCE HERE JUST SAYING

- OMG ITS SO AWKWARD AND CUTE

- and akaza has someone to take care of again!

- aww cute moment between them

- also fireworks! yay! hes saying he can piggyback ride her there that so sweet

- oh shit shes crying

- oh thats so cute that their only purposes are to protect those they love

- omgs and akaza on his little training arc with keizou like how tanjirou did with urokodaki and both are taking care of a younger girl who is bedridden- the parallels

- holy shit three year time skip

- oh ok koyuki is better now

- OMG THEY DO LIKE EACH OTHER AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO SWEET AND SHES SO NERVOUS AND HES SO NERVOUS

- OH HES GONNA SAY YES TO THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

- HES GONNA FOLLOW HIS DADS SUICIDE NOTE AND LIVE A GOOD LIFE

- HE EVEN VISITED THE GRAVE HELP

- WAIT SHIT NO HES A DEMON SOMETHING GOES WRONG

- NONONONONO WAIT SHIT I WAS ACTUALLY SORT OF STARTING TO LIKE THESE TWO 

- OMG HES ADMITTING THAT THEYRE HIS TWO FAVOURITE PEOPLE

- wait whats this abt poison

- WAIT WHAT POISON

- THIS IS TURNING VERY FAST WHAT THE FUCK

- WHAT THEY WERE BOTH POISONED AND FUCKING DIED WHAT

- BECAUSE OF THE FREAKING DOJO WTFFFFFF

- I- I NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS

- ok were back and ready to react

- wait what promise

- CALLBACK TO THE FIREWORKS

- ohh shes saying she wants to watch the fireworks with akaza next year and the year after too... oh shit she died.

- damn so both their parents killed themselves bc of their kids

- ohhh this is so sweet but sad knowing she just died

- AND HE PROMISED TO PROTECT HER BUT OH NOOOOOO

- OH SHIT HES KILLING THEM ALL WITH HIS BARE HANDS

- DAMN THATS BRUTAL AND TWISTED OF AKAZA

- BUT DAMN THIS IS HIS WAY OF MOURNING HOLY FUCK

- EVERY SINGLE STUDENT OF THE RIVAL DOJO?!?!?!?!!??!

- HOLY SHIT ITS MUZAN JACKSON

- DO THE MOONWALK PLS

- OH SHIT THIS IS WHEN MUZAN WAS THINKING ABOUT MAKING THE TWELVE KIZUKI

- OH SHIT AKAZA RLY SAID MOVE BITCH TO MUZAN

- HE PUNCHED AKAZA I REPEAT HE PUNCHED THROUGH AKAZAS SKULL

- i feel like this is sad because it wasnt even muzans fault that the two of them died it was just poison

- he even admits it out loud himself that his own story is sad help

- hes even completely ok with the fact he wont go to the same place as the three most important people in the world to him

- and giyuu is just standing there

- lmao tanjiro is just always yelling for demons to stop

- wait what tanjiro ur sword-???

- oh shit it slipped from his grip

- sorry i snorted at the fact that tanjiro decked akaza in the face instead

- i think im gonna stop there the backstory is over

- i feel horribly empty inside after finishing that chapter

- think i might just go cry

current thoughts on akaza: damn i understand why ppl are so sad about this, holy shit this is so sad like i have no words im probably gonna have to come back to this post tomorrow to give my thoughts after thinking about this all night

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #akaza #upper rank three #backstory #live notes #japanese #spoilers #demon slayer spoilers #infinity castle arc #tw #mentions of suicide #mentions of murder #mentions of death #kibutsuji muzan #tomioka giyuu #kamado tanjiro #keizou #hakuji x koyuki #koyuki

[boxwinebaddie]

cfpom fight tier list GO!

HELP SDHLKSKHS BESTIE!!!! this made me laugh so much more than it should have oh my gooooood ( also the fact that y'all are also calling stan gang the cfpom like i do in pep is so cute to me i love u )

but ohhhhhh yes...this is my moment. i'm so ready, my friend. *cracks knuckles* i was born ready.

s

ok kenny is s tier obviously. like he has been swinging in these streets since he was six. like yeah...he's kind of malnourished, keeps fkn dying/coming back and isn't that bulky, but he has that survivor's strength, i would not fucks with kenny!!! he is STRONG! also he riles people up and gets into fights for fun. i feel like a kid was like "haha mccormick hows it feel to be poor and have no money" and kenny just punches him dead in the face and is like "idk how does it feel to be ugly and have a broken nose" sihdladl !!!!! king! he will leave u lying bloody in the street and go fuck ur mom ur dad and ur sister

a

ok i guess kyle is a...but he totally could be s. like if it's specifically involving cartman ( like half of kyles fights ) regards protecting the honor of sweet stanley marsh ( the other half of kyles fights ) or is rage boosted for some reason kyle is s. i feel like the only reason he would be a is he might need his inhaler and can't run that fast. BUT HE CAN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DESTROY YOU! the emotional devastation part is so powerful omg. ALSO HES GIGANTIC HOLY SHIT THAT ALONE IS TERRIFYING.

like 100% drunk kenny and rage boosted kyle as a team are both s. if i could pick the entire us army or k2 i would choose k2. like kenny will put you in the regular hospital and kyle will put u in the psychiatric hospital oof like....if i saw kenny and kyle and i didnt know how to run...ID LEARN HOW TO RUN REALLY FAST HELP

b-c

ok hear me out here me out....marjorine is b or c. like i know she is a sweet sugar pea but she is like 5'11. i think she sports a lot of 'ladies dont start fights -- but they do end them" :) <3

like lives on the side of pacifism most of the time but...if u randomly grab her ass i know she is knocking ur ass out with her purse. if u say something rude to her or her friends ur getting cracked so hard across the face ull need ur jaw rewired...like omg if someone said something to kenny i just knoooo hed be like marj just let it go its cool and shes like Kenneth Hold My Earrings :) absolutely DECIMATED! i swear she put that little rat man on her back and has never looked back

d

cartman is d....i guess. i hate you fartman. like he definitely built to be able to deliver and withstand blows like he is a fucking unit. but hes such a big spoiled baby. all bark no bite. he would definetely get his shit rocked in a fight. like he could get poked once and he'd start crying and running home to mommy ( me too...hey miss liane ;) ) but...but...unfortunately he is a better option in a fight then...

f

stan. god bless him. my sugar sweet pacifist crunchy granola boy angel. that entire exchange in chapter four where tolkien tells stan to hit him and he...literally cant. like it goes against everything he stands for. he is a nonviolence king, he cant hurt people im so!! AAAAA

also that part where when he tries to work up the nerve to punch tolkien he forms his fist wrong and puts his thumb inside so if he were to punch it would totally break his thumb upon impact...thats how little baby boy is fighting. the only things he's fighting are his demons, bisexuality and thinking unclean thoughts abt his bestie.

on the bright side...the entire cfpom would ride and die for stan and roll up on any motherfucker that fucked with stanley marsh. even cartman i feel like hes gotta rep the crew, u know? but like specifically kyle if you said something that hurt stans feelings OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF I WOULD START RUNNING BITCH! TELL UR MOM U LOVE HER BC IT WILL B THE LAST TIME!!!

it could be over stupid shit too bc stan is a cry baby like some diner employee just tells stan theres a stain on his shirt to be helpful and stans like :( this guy told me there was a stain on my shirt :( im so embarrassed :( i should go home i feel stupid n ugly and kyle stands on the booth like ALRIGHT COCKSUCKERS WHO TOLD STAN THERE WAS A STAIN ON HIS SHIRT HES FUCKING CRYING YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS BEFORE I SET THIS WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE and stan is like no no no kyle its fine he was just being nice and hes like HE CAN BE NICE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

tadaaaaa~ this is it...this is the right answer. this ask was so real thank u oh my god haha

-uncle nina

#this was so funny pls #out of pocket #i love talking abt the whole squad they are so funny #but yeah kenny s #kyle a #but drunk bar fight kenny and rage boosted probably stan related kyle as a duo are s and are HORRIFYING #b-c marj bc shes all af #d fartman i hate u cry to mommy #f stan...sorry pacifist king jus say behind kyle pookie he'll protect u #he can kill em with kindness tho and is really charming so that helps #cfpom

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. My new AU, +Max and then Max and her Moms)

Pt 8

Murray adopting Robin

Murray: Remember, Robin, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Robin: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

(well he just got roasted)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *running towards Murray with open arms*

Murray: *moves out of the way*

Robin: Hey, why'd you move?!

Murray: I thought you were going to attack me.

Robin: I was going to hug you!

Murray: Why would you hug me?

Robin: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(Honestly the "why would you hug me part" is the best and also sad 😂😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Thank you for not saying "I told you so."

Murray: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

(After Ronance started dating and Robin didn't believe him that Nancy liked her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

Robin: Why start now?

(when he tries to help her with the Nancy situatio lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I'd roast you, but my dad says you can't burn trash.

Robin: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

(I just imagine her and Steve doing that old tik tok trend🤣)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, to Murray: You're not Mario. Lets get something fucking straight, you're Luigi at best.

(I don't even know how to comprehend this)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: When was the last time you cried?

Robin: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Murray: really? That recent?

Robin: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

(if you saw my recent post about this AU, you should have an idea of why she's crying)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?

Robin: *sighs*

Robin: I killed a man.

(She finally is in this quote ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Pick a card, any card.

Robin: Fine.

Murray: Wait, that's my credit card!

Robin: You said any card.

(Ye Murray, you said any card)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: You believe me?

Robin: Murray, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

(This is so funny and wholesome. I love it, but it's also sad 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.

Robin: Aww, thanks—

Murray: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

(Cute but also oof)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I’ve only had Robin for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

(now this. This is adorable)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I made tea.

Murray: I don't want tea.

Robin: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Murray: Then why did you tell me?

Robin: It's a conversation starter.

Murray: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Robin: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

(She would do that with everyone so they wouldn't just sit in silence)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Murray: And you came to me?

(Well you're her dad now, so yes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[+Max]

Murray: I hate you sometimes.

Robin: Well according to this picture Max drew of us holding hands that's not true.

Murray: Robin, you drew that.

Robin: It doesn't matter.

(She drew herself with her dad and her daughter 👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Hey, Murray. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Murray: To get to the other side?

Robin: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“

Murray: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?

Robin: To get to the idiot’s house.

Murray: ...Ok?

Max: Hey, Murray. Knock knock.

Murray: No.

Max: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”

Murray: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?

Max: The chicken.

Murray:

Max:

Robin:

Murray: Listen here you little shits-

(He secretly loves them, but he hates it just as much)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: How high are you?

Robin: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Murray: No, they’re asking what drugs are you on.

Robin: Oh, antidepressants, why?

(She would definitely do that tik tok with that achievement thing and then "I don't take birth control, I'm a lesbian")

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Something crashes*

Max: Shoot-

Robin: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!

Murray: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

(panicked Mother, Calm Grandpa)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin & Max: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Robin: We need an adult!

Max: Robin, you are an adult!

Robin: We need an adultier adult! Get Murray!

(She is, but she isn't)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Max: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Murray: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Robin: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

(No, she got a point. I mean if it's a full on block of cheese and not those samples, than what the hell 😂 i mean I'd love to do that but I wouldn't)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Max: You left me and Robin in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Murray: I did that on purpose, try again.

(Grandpa and Granddaughter bonding✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Max and her Moms]

Nancy: *yawns*

Robin: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Nancy: Then you must be exhuasted.

Max: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

(well then go ask out El or Lucas)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Nance.

Max, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Robin: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Max: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Robin: You wanted fake blood?

Max:

Robin: I’ll go call Nance.

(Nancy, a Vampire??👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy, about Robin: They're covered in blood again. Why is it they're always covered in blood?

Max: Well, it looks like it's their own blood this time.

(Robin, a werewolf??👀 Who is hurt🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Nancy, I know you love Robin. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Max: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

(What did she do this time)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Max's birthday invitations.

Nancy: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Robin: "Max's birthday".

Nancy: So, what do they say instead?

Robin: "Max’s bi".

Nancy:

Nancy: Works out either way.

(It does)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.

Robin: Cool.

Max: Do you know who Joe is?

Robin: JOE MAMA!

Nancy, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

(It did)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin & Nancy: Surprise! We're having a baby!

Max: What?!

Robin & Nancy: *pull out adoption papers* It's you!

(I've finally got it.. unless it's in one of the others already I don't remember lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed.

Robin: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it.

Robin: But who's to say.

Max: I think France isn't real.

Nancy: Max, you've been to France.

Max: And???

(I don't know what going on, but it involves France so I kept it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Robin: The final boss.

Nancy: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Max: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

(Honestly, they just make fun of her Dad)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Robin: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Nancy: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Max, on a walkie talkie: This is Max, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

(Sometimes she hates her Moms)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: There was a motor close to where I am right now.

Nancy: A motor- a motorcycle?

Max: Oh sorry, a murder.

Robin: That escalated quickly.

(if they had phones and Max texted her Moms in S4 after Chrissy died)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: I will find us a covered wagon and horses.

Max: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.

Robin: Oh, please. We're not children.

*Max leaves*

Robin, casually: ...Eat shit and die.

Nancy, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

(enemies to lovers ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

Max: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

Nancy: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

Robin: W-what’re donuts?

(not that dumb)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Max: Nancy is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Robin.

Nancy: I feel like Robin is the more responsible one of us two though.

Robin: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Nancy: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

(🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy, at Max: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Robin, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

(Ronance lives together and Robin wants to adopt Max)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, to Max: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

Max: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*

Nancy, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Max cute or small.

(Big mistake, only El is allowed to say it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: *sneaking in through their window*

Robin: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?

Max: I was with Nancy?

Nancy: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

(dum dum duuuu)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The next one is gonna have Dustin and his Dads (idk when I'm gonna post it tho)

(I love that the first letter is the same, Dustin and his Dads, Max and her Moms 😂)

Also Sapphic Senate while be in the next one.

#long post #robin buckley #murray bauman #Murray adopting Robin #max mayfield #nancy wheeler #ronance

[a-canceled-stamp]

🦋Summer Fanfic Recommendations🦋

I am still grappling with the fact that summer is, in fact, over. In order to say goodbye to arguably my favorite season of the year, I've decided, completely unprompted, to make a rec list of my fav fanfics I read during (and slightly prior to) the summer of 2023. Cause why the heck not.

(The first time I'm doing one of these, apologies if the format is a bit wonky or if there are any other errors!)

⊱┄┄┄┄𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 𓋼 𖤣𖥧 𓋼𓍊┄┄┄┄⊰

God of War - 🪓ᛏᚺᛖ ᚲᚤᚲᛚᛖ ᛖᚾᛞᛋ ᚺᛖᚱᛖ🏹

Bear Necessities by rosysoleil Summary: Atreus becomes trapped in his bear form and Sindri reluctantly agrees to help turn him human again. Comment: Set after God of War: Ragnarök which, if you’ve played the game, should tell you all you need to know lol. Am absolutely obsessed with this one, y’all. Characterization on point, intriguing plot, incredible writing. The one God of War fic that refuses to let me go. (WIP)

Malevolent - ⛥⛧this too shall pass⛧🕯️

It would be a long drive home by Croik Summary: Arthur Never Makes the Deal with Kayne AU Comment: *Incoherent noises.* Holy moly, this one is good. Amazing writing, captivating plot, just an overall joy to read. The ending made me crave more.

Lacuna by Calamitatum Summary: After Addison, John gets a body and Crazy Shit Happens (not necessarily in that order) Comment: *increased incoherent noises.* BITCH. This fic broke me. And it ain’t even finished yet. Such excellent content, an absolute must-read. (WIP)

Tuck me in by Croik Summary: After getting his own body, John finds it difficult to adjust to one of the most basic and most anticipated new options for him: sleep. Comment: Cuddles. Solve. EVERYTHING. Am so in love with this fic. I hold it up gently for everyone to see.

formaldehyde (or, The Case of the Missing Lilly) by SupposedToBeWriting Summary: Prohibition with a hint of demons and detective-ing Comment: If you could see my reactions as I was reading this fic you’d understand the hype. Absolutely fantastic piece of art. Just. Aaaaah I love it. Quite long but I barely noticed. Hooks you in and refuses to let go.

Batman (DC) - 🦇we live in a society—🃏

HOPE THE LOVE WE SHARED CAN RESURRECT THE LAST. by orpheusaki Summary: Jason survives Ethiopia and returns home; this is the beginning. Comment: The ending made me cry and demand a refund, but like, in the best of ways. Major Character Death. This one HURT y’all, proceed with caution.

Papa Whiskey Bravo by PsychedelicBumblebee Summary: Dick almost dies while on patrol, and Bruce quietly loses it. Comment: aaaah urgggh this one hurt. A LOT. Which seems to be the ones I end up enjoying the most. Beautifully written. ScaredShitless!Bruce is always a win. Gets you right in the feels.

Don’t hold your breath, I don’t think we have much time left by Chemical_Processes Summary: On a quest to rid Harvey of Two-Face, Duke gets critically injured, forcing Bruce and Harvey to work together to keep him alive. Comment: This ficccccc omg. Absolutely obsessed. Love me some Duke content, and the Bruce & Harvey dynamic is to live for. Protective!Bruce is best Bruce. You might be cautious after what I just said about this author’s other work, but don’t worry! This one sparks joy.

And we’ll be carry each other by FishFromMars Summary: Timmy goes to a safehouse after a mission ends with the death of two of his best friends. Comment: what can I say? Reverse Robins AU is an immediate win in my book. Also Damian being a Good Brother makes me feel stuff, man. Something something poetic cinema something. Really well written as well. Very sad, I love it.

my shoulders are heavy already by a_alene Summary: Damian is not sick. Dick is not having a crisis. Also, freezer pops. Comment: Sickfic, which already tells you it's gonna be some good soup. So incredibly sweet but also very oof. My heart constricted several times while reading this. Damian and Dick’s dynamic and relationship is just so…🥺 I love them, your honor.

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie Summary: Jason and Tim are forced to work together when they’re trapped inside a murderous labyrinth. Things get crazy, y’all. Comment: !!! this. fic. It’s one of those fics that’ll stay with you long after you’ve read it. The longest fic on my list, but oh my god it’s so worth reading. And that’s coming from someone who doesn’t usually read longer fics. Seriously, this shit SLAPS

⊱┄┄┄┄𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 𓋼 𖤣𖥧 𓋼𓍊┄┄┄┄⊰

And there you have it. This was so fun! I'm thinking of doing one of these at the end of every month, starting in September. But then again consistency ain't a strength of mine so I make no promises :3

I'm always looking for new fics to read (especially ones with a father & son duo and a sprinkle of h/c - emphasis on the comfort part) so if you know of a fic you want to recommend (your own work included) you can leave the details in a comment!

Stay readin' my dudes

#fanfiction #fic recs #fanfiction recommendations #god of war #malevolent podcast #batman #Faye's recommendations

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

BHAH CHAPTER 12 IT'S TIME TO CRY

just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart, buzzy and roman I would die for you thank you for my LIFE

NOT NANS COTTAGE. maximum emotional damage hours right off the bat

god the hill house vibes jamie get out before this place tries to eat u

"Thought for the longest time that I’d never get either of you back.” bruh

Jamie fixing up her old bike for Mikey's birthday at the O'Mara's house. specifically designed in a lab to make me cry

"put out of its misery with a thousand blows to the head with a shovel" is so gruesome I read it like 3 times until I remembered that Jamie actually did that in the middle of some serious grieving jesus

mike calling jamie dani and mikey 'the family' hold on a minute man hold on a minute

dani and mikey snoozing together HOLD ON A MINUTE MAN HOLD ON A MINUTE

god jamie is such a softie this whole chapter is just her trying not to cry with how much she loves people (and is loved in return)

oh boy the eddie jamie showdown

oof my poor son boy

holy fuck this whole confrontation is intense

"After all, why bring home a haunting, a gutter rat from the wrong side of the tracks, half feral and half broken, when the golden boy was right there." how dare u use the title against me like this

"I was mad for her from the start." “We were her best friends. If you fell for her, then how could I not?" hooooooly feelings

jamie saying all this to eddie and not dani. lmao. lol. rofl, even.

grocery shopping together............. intimacy...........

"What if I want more?" Dani being able to ask that now is so important to me that's my baby she's doin so good!!!!!! letting herself love people!!!!!

dfgkjhfkjghfkjh Jackie my beloved

"Jamie made an explicit gesture with her hands" screaming this whole interaction is so fucking funnyyyyyy. in the GROCERY STORE. fucking commedians the both of u

Dani Clayton picking a car by colour and nothing else she's so relateable

horny in a car dealership lot so true! i mean jamie with these practical car skills is v hunky u are so right dani

DANI HAS HER OWN CAR AGAIN. FREEDOM HAS NEVER BEEN SO SEXY

they're so domestic ugh (affectionate)

"I WANT YOU TO WATCH" FKSDJFKJDFH YEEHAW

“I think it would’ve been nice learning with you.” is so soft excuse me while I get emosh in the middle of this sex scene

every day this fic gives me my horny rights *pray hands emoji*

fgkjdfhgkjhdfkjh Judy telling them to take some alone time she said go work out that sexual frustration u horny lesbians

“Just because I didn’t realise it, doesn’t mean I didn’t have romantic feelings.” awww

dangerous dani clayton!!!! she needs to focus on the road!!!!!

"“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jamie said." SAME GIRL

lmao holy shit I love these idiots

nan..... jamie..... ouch

mikey meeting Dani's dad........ gotta go sob for 45mins hang on

Jamie growing Nan's favourite flowers just for her...... the amount of Nan that's in Jamie makes my heart cry

this fic is so like, full of love and really sweet moments but I love that you infuse these little moments of horror imagery in a 'life can be good but we carry around so many ghosts of troubled pasts in us' kinda way. good soup

“You be good. I love you.” i am crying.

sdfjdhfgjdghfjg how is jamie in shock don't tell me u didn't already know u enormous idiot.

I LOVE THE WAY WOMEN LOVE

pls they're so fucking cuuuute

not 'with every piece of me left' ow my heart

i can't believe what them telling each other i love you is doing to me. the power of live laugh lesbians

oh my god Judy i love u

dfjkgdfkjghdfkj Dani dressed for maximum Jamie short-circuiting is my favourite nuclear weapon

Dani "smiling at her as if trying to hold it back" top 10 anime victories

Dani finally getting her horny art room fantasies sfkjghfkjghfkjg oh boy

“You could have brought me here.” I AM LOOKING AWAY THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. bold dani you will be the death of both of us

“I want to fuck you at home.” wholesome <3

whew I too need a cigarette rn Jackie

ooOOOOooooOo Eddie's got a girlfriend

oof poor eddie and dani though I hope they can be friends again one day they deserve it

jamie in full simp mode is so fun good for u babe

God these necklaces I'm obsessed with Dani wearing hers actually. and these two getting to go out together n be gay n in love in public!!!

jamie oh my god???!? horny rights

i am shaking like a chihuahua

“Surprise," sdfkjghdfkjghiudfhgiuerhgkjdhkjfg

"Jamie: suffering" FUCKIN SAME BRO

aww everyone singing happy birthday to the best girl!!! deserved!!! just as deserved as I'm sure the rest of this night is going to go lmao

DFGKJDFKHG ROBIN. doesn't miss a beat huh?? also i hear she's single can I get her number

jesus christ dani clayton I'm about to drive off the road and I'm not even behind a wheel

Jamie Taylor u are a stronger woman than I will ever be

“You wanna make out for a bit?” pls they're so cute

dfkgjkjdfkh princess. iconic

the "nice" that just left my mouth at Dani in lingerie who are u making me become

“I’ll be whatever the fuck you want me to be, love.” so true! me *handshake emoji* jamie

losing my got dang mind

i love that these two are so comfortable with each other it's so so so lovely to see after all the yearning bruh look at them go

“At my mercy.” i feel drunk. i need to go build a hammock

a thousand points to jamie taylor for being strapped and ready for anything and Dani for being outrageously bold and horny this whole scene was so iconic

oof Karen Clayton

Mikey seventeen the dancing queen? they grow up so fast

oof Dani bby getting into it with her. god she's so poisonous

NOT THE LETTERS

Jamie just patiently loving her while she works her way through this oh love

oh my god the box

dfgkjhdkjhgkjfh the mixtape. heart on your sleeve softie jamie taylor

wait was dani wearing Jamie's half dollar necklace earlier??? cute bastards

“They’ve always been yours.” JUST LIKE DANI'S HEART OH I AM SHATTERED

“You kept me here, remember?” This is like The Notebook level romance but better bc lesbians

and now I'm crying bc they get their happy ending. so much heartache but they still found their way back to each other

"My sweet Jamie" 😭😭😭😭

they just love each other so much how am I supposed to cope????????????

they way they've created this little family full of so much love after coming from broken homes and rough pasts makes me ache so much

sdfkjdfhkg god Jamie is such a tease lmao. have fun girls!

THESE PHOTOS!?!??! OH MY GOD

good for themmmmmm

loving the vast array of fucking we get in this chapter!!!! giving the people what they want (Jamie's |redacted| in Dani's--I am forcefully removed from the premises)

this is not the point but oh my god Jamie building Dani a bookshelf....... romance

Jamie providing Mikey with such a nurturing and stable environment that he excelled academically like this.... my boy..... my beloved Jamie. aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

also SO fond of Jamie Carson shenanigans more more more.

god but Jamie's so scared to let go of her not so baby brother. bigger AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

crying again bc I'm so close to the end and this fic is almost over :(

both of em having to talk to their boys dfkjhgkfj godspeed

genuinely not doing well Jamie and Mikey's relationship is so special and I'm so glad they found each other and they have each other and I can't cope!!! with all these emotions!!!!

EVERYONE COMING TOETHER TO EAT. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. THIS WONDERFUL WEIRD LITTLE FAMILY.

the kids all still fighting like they're teenagers though dgkjdfhkjhdg iconic

the simple intimacy of doing the dishes together....

ANOTHER MIXTAPE??? GIMME THE LINK. also that's cute as fuck love is stored in the carefully curated playlists

Jamie is her home..........

BITCH HOW AM I MEANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THIS FIC. Ok I'm gonna go cry to Jamie's Mixtape (1993)

"if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more" - me about this fic (however many words of silly waffling this post is doesn't count!!! I'm hiding the real feelings behind humour!!!!). but actually really sincerely genuinely buzzy and roman thank you so much for sharing this fic with us all and making us yearn and laugh and cry and fall in love with them all over again. unmatched.

#bhah #this was pure emotional torture thanks x

[sunflowersand-bees]

me watching tua

@forevereternally-janedoe here's ur update!

i finished the first ep yesterday and my thoughts were: holy fuck i love klaus, five is such a smartass but I'm living for it, i dont like this allison x her older bro whose name i forgot thing they're pushing, allison is so pretty, im so glad their father is dead, i knew diego would be the most likely to have killed him, i feel so bad for vanya, it's so sad that klaus is still talking to his brother, i feel like he's probably a little bit insane and who can blame him, oh shit the world's gonna end.

starting ep 2: i wonder if any of the kids ever found out their mother was a robot. definitely not diego, he's a real Mama's boy (oof).

ew no you're adopted siblings, omfg klaus lmfao.

i mean the old man isn't exactly wrong. five was only 13, even though he's been through a lot as a 13 year old. i wonder if any part of him regrets the jump. so does five just not have any other name? oh holy shit this is a sick sequence, the transitions, the music, yes. why do vanya and five seem to be the closest? are his other sibs jealous? or are they just closer on an intellectual level?

oh shit that is a fucking eyeball? a glass one, obvs, but why?? and he left. of course.

damn those masks are some fnaf bullshit or smth. him putting away that case is gonna come back to bite those two in the ass.

this detective is a fucking badass i love her don't date diego you're above him.

love hazel just eatin the ice cream like a crime scene is a movie.

yeah, claire should meet you, /as her uncle/. YES FUCK SHE SAID THE "U" WORD.

holy shit i knew i loved ben. his and klaus' interactions >>>>

is five ever gonna learn that he's bound by his appearance? who was five stabbing in 1938? oh god i knew i would love klaus as five's dad holy shit. klaus canon bisexual fuck yeah i called it.

leonard boy get out vanya is aroace bc i said so.

please fucking tell me five did not fall in love with a mannequin and it's just a placeholder omfg.

oh fuck why was luther holding someone's ripped out eye and i just wanna hug five y'all know he fucking needs it after finding all his siblings' dead bodies.

god I love the soundtrack for this show. what a great episode

#i cant live blog this shit bc of post limit #so have this #tua #riv watches tua #the umbrella academy #riv rambles

[omgellendean]

Thinking back to what Kripke said in an interview about Soldier Boy's trauma being a metaphor for "toxic masculinity", don't think that he's kinda sending the wrong message with Soldier Boy and Butcher that being traumatized/victims of abuse and engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms equals "toxic men"? Especially since men don't have monopoly on being abuse and trauma victims? Big fucking Oof there, Kripke.

I'm not sure if the story blames Butcher for being traumatised. Writers clearly are making a point about the cycle of abuse and the consequences of childhood trauma, both for him and Homelander, and usually portray his struggles sympathetically. However, some moments give me a pause, like Mallory saying Billy is just like his father because he wants to finish his vendetta against Homelander (can we talk about Mallory probably being the biggest hypocrite of the show, btw), or the narrative seemingly supporting the idea that Billy was partially responsible for Lenny's death.

Soldier Boy's situation is weirder. If I understand correctly, you mean this quote:

“Similarly to Hughie, it’s, what is the metaphor for Soldier Boy? And he’s like this bottled up toxic masculinity,” Kripke says. “He bottles up all of his pain and he bottles up all of his trauma and then, quote unquote, loses his temper and explodes outward, literally. It’s the pattern of so many macho dudes, they can’t express themselves and so then they explode and in really inappropriate ways. So he literally explodes.” (x)

The interview was referencing the events of 3x05 Holy shit, I was absolutely sure it was about Soldier Boy blowing up the building during his PTSD flashback. But they, in fact, talked about 3x04, aka Soldier Boy blasting Kimiko at the lab. This makes even less sense. He just woke up from stasis after years of torture, surrounded by armed people, with a bunch of dead soldiers on the floor. He doesn't know if they are friendlies (they aren't); he doesn't even target Kimiko specifically — he just tries to escape. Oh my god.

But even if we apply this quote to 3x05 or even the entire season, it still doesn't work. It's the season finale tomorrow, and yet we only saw Soldier Boy "exploding" in two types of situations: he has a flashback during which he blackouts and cannot control himself, or he deliberately uses this new power against his target. Neither fits the idea of a "toxic macho man losing his temper". Unless, of course, Kripke thinks having untreated PTSD is a sign of toxic masculinity.

This brings us to the second option: unhealthy coping mechanisms = toxic masculinity. I think you're spot on about this being the show's idea, tbh. I mean, writers certainly try to make a point by showing us MM, who is Soldier Boy's foil this season and arguably one of the most well-adjusted people on the show (which doesn't say a lot, but still). MM is open about his emotions, takes medication and tries not to let his trauma affect Janine. Here's an example of how to handle your trauma properly, right? Of course! But also, eh.

Sure, Soldier Boy is a vile, abusive man that pretends he doesn't have feelings, and his response to the idea of PTSD is "fuck you". He certainly holds back a lot of his emotions that aren't anger. And his (and Butcher's) idea of self-medicating is clearly unhealthy. But here's a thing: according to the show's timeline, he's been free less than a month, I'd say about two weeks. He barely had any time to deal with everything that happened. He doesn't have friends, his only allies are two shady guys who want to use him as a weapon, and one of them has already tried to back out of the agreement. Who exactly has Soldier Boy to trust with his emotions and ask for support, even if he were self-aware enough to do that? (though he did open up to Hughie for a moment in E6.) And it's not like Billy and Hughie can take him to the therapist for help. And of course, we still circle back to the showrunner comparing PTSD episodes to losing your temper.

And Billy doesn't really fit into this idea either because he supposedly spent a year of hiatus trying to get better and be a father for Ryan — only to be told in the end that he still failed. For me, his arc this season is about desperation, not toxicity.

Oof indeed.

#answered #fullysowerewolf #long post #sorry i got carried away and don't know if i even answered it properly #i should stop reading showrunners interviews #at least for this show #they only manage to piss me off lol #the boys #writing