#only other thing that seems particularly identifiable as a ''process'' lol is like. there even in the first sketch was considering whether

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

#purity culture #sex talk #christianity #sex and relationships #sex and religion #mylife #answered asks #aspec #cw sex

[twstheadcanons]

Any hcs for pomefiore, like how its students interact socially. Or hcs on the etiquette lessons?

this is long

·         I stand by what I said about Savanaclaw – Night Raven College has a bunch of stupid high school boys in its student body.  Being in Pomefiore does not erase your dumb high school energy.  It is just redirected.  As the oldest dorm, Pomefiore has some antiquated decour, and its own pride in maintaining them, including its gratuitous amount of candles strewn about.  Are the candlelit flames real?  Yes.  Can students touch them and light them themselves? Absolutely not.  They’re enchanted to light up and extinguish on their own. Vil’s seen firsthand how hotheaded and confrontational Pomefiore students can be.  He finds enchanted candles reasonable.  

·         There’s a garden in the back of the dorm building.  As the dorm known for its prowess in poisons and potions, it’s important for Pomefiore students to be able to identify specific types of flora commonly used in formulas, alongside their potential benefits and dangers.

·         Gardening can be grueling, especially when dealing with tricky, difficult flora. Vil has extensive instructions under his belt when it comes to making sure all students do their part (there is no avoiding gardening duty).  As such, alongside gardening itself, he’s put a lot of time and effort researching and specialising methods to minimise/mitigate the amount of mess and physical involved – and that’s without cutting corners.  Every new year brings in new students with their own personal strengths, so he has to make sure no stone goes unturned.

·         That said, absolutely no one shares gardening gloves.  Crowley is crying at the expenses of just damn gardening gloves but Vil is Not going to budge.

·         Of course, the apple trees are ones Pomefiore plants as well.  It’s their signature after all.  Rook hawk eyes both the trees’ growth and makes sure no one’s snagging them beforehand.  Ever since Epel enrolled, he’s lowkey more instructive of the process whenever Vil’s not around.  He’s also got his own shortcuts and tricks for general gardening.  Having a more hands-on approach since birth, it comes naturally to him.

·         Like, no offence, but the Pomefiore apples are not as good as the ones the Felmiers grow.

·         Epel is constantly on the verge of going apeshit when something he KNOWS he’s good at and knows his shit about is getting nitpicked, so for Vil’s safety I am making the executive decision that Vil’s noticed Epel sometimes taking charge in helping other students and just lets Epel do his own thing when it comes to helping out with Pomefiore’s plants and apples.

·         Honestly, having the two different approaches work in Pomefiore’s favour.  Some students need/want more structure and guidance, making Vil a better option.  Others benefit from Epel’s self-assured, informal approach since it makes it seem less daunting for beginners.

·         Rook likes to indulge himself when it comes to apples.  By that I mean he likes to ‘help’ students ‘slice’ their apples by doing the classic arrow-through-the-apple thing.  A lot of students think it’s actually pretty awesome.  

·         Right up until Rook asks for a volunteer to have the apple on their head.

·         The science club actually has its fair share of Pomefiore students apart from Rook.  Some are simply following the example of a generally respected vice-leader, whilst other took it for their own interests.

·         The same goes for film appreciation.   While small and mostly Pomefiore students under Vil’s lead, it’s a close circle of students working together.

·         The ballroom, like gardening, requires its own care and maintenance.  Keeping floors, windows, and mirrors clean.  This actually goes for the entire dorm, but the ballroom hosts a lot of Pomefiore’s recreational and group events (makes for a good place for film appreciation rehearsals).

·         Another reason it’s important to keep the dorm itself clean overall: absolutely no one wants perfume and cologne just lingering in furniture.  That is not the life anyone wants.  Ever.

·         This is something Rook’s especially quick to get on others’ cases about (in his own Rook Hunt way that is).  He’s a hunter, so he doesn’t want to risk even the most wonderful of scents blowing his cover.

·         Speaking of Rook, if you’re familiar with French in Pomefiore, but don’t use it often.  You Do Now for the sake of your fellow dormmates that want to know what the hell Rook is saying.

·         Students in Pomefiore tend to grow up into more hands-on careers.  Of course, there’s the ones in professions like show business, fashion, and cosmetology, but other common careers they gravitate to are generally science or fine arts related.

·         If you know what’s good for you, and you’re interested in fashion, start learning about the ethical issues and dangers of fast fashion ASAP.  As someone surrounded by aesthetics and designs, Vil knows his shit and idealistic views that overlook the shady business practises of even big-name groups get under his skin fast.  In general, as passionate as he is in his line of work, Vil’s still disillusioned to the glitz and glamour of it, which is why he takes such an aggressive stance on his own management.

·         Since first years share four students in one dorm room, Epel’s roommates will never escape the apple smell.  It’s gone from charming, to a bit sickening, to being plain desentisised to the scent. While all three are kind of over having an apple or apple juice every time Epel’s family sends them, they’ll happily accept them from time to time.  The apple juice especially is popular since it makes for a refreshing change from water.

·         Makeup brand debates.  They’re a thing.  Vil mostly thinks they’re dumb on a surface level since people just gravitate to what works for them and is within their budget but if you ask he’s got dirt on which brands have the worst practises that don’t need Anyone’s money.

·         Considering his ‘villain’ typecasting the guy has no fear using his platform to be outspoken on those types of issues which is why a lot of Pomefiore students end up actually respecting him outside his acting and modeling career.

·         For the record, it’s not like Epel’s the only student from a rural background in Pomefiore. There are plenty of others, it’s just that they didn’t literally get into a fight with a dorm leader during the opening ceremony.

·         The way he acts with Epel early on, however, does leave a rather unflattering impression on said rural students.  Epel doesn’t really keep his background a secret, so it’s easy to hear Vil scold Epel’s informal, direct way of speaking as him disliking the actual accents a country person may have.  So like. Vil’s gotta work on clearing that up with them, lol.

·         This is a “Vil’s done a good number of things wrong” zone regardless of his background and actual intent and also a “Pomefiore isn’t only about beauty but considering the way its students act and speak in general Uhhhhh” so as focused as Vil is on image and Pomefiore on seeming ‘proper’ I am Forcing him to reevaluate his approach to educating less experienced students on westernised and Eurocentric etiquette expectations.   You’re going to have students with staunchly different mannerisms and ideas of etiquette that do not affect their work ethic whatsoever sweetie.  

·         In a similar vein, older Pomefiore students that happen to be beastfolk (I’d like to imagine the Mirror of Darkness doesn’t magically toss Savanaclaw into some unholy ‘this is the beastfolk ghetto’ hell.  Do not burst my bubble I won’t listen) usually end up being tightknit with first years.  Honestly how else are first-years going to survive Rook Hunt being their vice-leader.

Vil also takes his own measures to minimise how up in their business Rook gets with Pomefiore’s own beastfolk.  

Being a detail-oriented dorm, Pomefiore has the most amount of students experienced in hands-on work and crafts.  If the individual students get along, Savanaclaw and Pomefiore students can get a lot done when they put their minds to it.

“Absolutely Beautiful” blasting from the ballroom at 5am so the less morning-inclined can wake up properly for the next three weeks.

·         Look Vil and Rook have particularly polarising personalities you cannot expect the entire dorm to worship them nor their way of doing things.

·         Master Chef, although a small elective, also has its fair share of Pomefiore students.  Something about a practical skills class appeals to them, and it actually makes for relaxing classwork.  

·         First dorm that sorts out people’s allergies.  If you think it’s excessive Pomefiore has forms prepared for new students to fill out regarding any extenuating circumstances and conditions think again. No health accidents happening in this dorm.

·         Mentions of students struggling tend to result in other students helping each other out. Study groups are pretty encouraged within the dorm if it works out for the people involved.  The lounge aside, the ballroom’s surprisingly popular for study groups when it’s not in-use for anything else.

#pomefiore #twisted wonderland #Anonymous

[angstmongertina]

A Moment of Peace

I started this around the time the closed beta came out and didn’t actually finish until literally the night the game is released but oh well lol. But hey, I did finish before the game is released, at least?

Also, I used the name Artem because I didn't want to have to figure out how to deal with the Lawyer Zuo vs. Artem usage between Chinese and English.... and also because I couldn't remember Celestine's Chinese name lol.

Cross-posted on AO3.

Sometimes, she doesn’t know how he does it.

Actually, if she is to be perfectly honest with herself, most of the time, she doesn’t know how he does it.

Within the firm, she already has a reputation for putting in long hours. After all, as a relative newcomer to the Stellis legal scene, still only a few years out of law school herself, she knows that she still has plenty of work to do in order to establish herself in the field, to climb the ranks of the legal world and prove to the rest of Stellis City, as well as herself, that she deserves to be at Themis.

And even so, Artem still far outpaces her work ethic, leaving her to wonder more than once whether he ever actually leaves the building.

As such, it isn’t exactly surprising for her to leave the room and find the light still on in his office as she makes her way to the break room, an empty mug in one hand and her pile of notes in the other. After all, as she juggles between her cases and the upcoming attorney test, he is left picking up her slack, and while he might have volunteered more than once for the task with his usual calm expression, the concept of putting even more on his already full plate still sits poorly in her stomach.

Particularly since she has no clue where he’s even managing to squeeze the time to help her out of, given the seemingly endless collection of cases vying for his attention.

Pursing her lips, she contemplates the coffee machine for one, long, moment before shaking her head with more reluctance than she cares to admit against the siren call of caffeine. Instead, she reaches for the box of chamomile, a not-so-subtle gift from Celestine soon after her sudden and unexpected trip to the hospital—yet another of the now too many to count times that she has found herself in Artem’s debt—and prepares two mugs, breathing in the warm comforting aroma.

If she closes her eyes, she can almost imagine that she’s at home, decompressing after a productive day without a care in the world…

With a sigh, she shakes her head again, this time to clear the daydream from her mind. Soon, perhaps, but she has a mission to complete first.

Tucking her notes under her arm, she makes her careful way to his office, nudging the door lightly with her shoulder before stepping inside. “Artem?”

She’s not surprised to find him still hunched over his desk, hard at work despite the late hour. In fact, the only visible signs of the time are his jacket, carefully lain aside on the couch, and his head propped up in one hand as he makes notes on whatever document he is in the process of perusing. At her voice, he looks up, blinking a few times at her before he jerks upright and she can’t help but follow his hands with her gaze as they reach for his tie, fidgeting with it slightly before drifting down to tug at his shirt cuffs.

“I… Eliana?”

With a jolt, she snaps her eyes back up to find his lips set into his usual faint smile, though with something unfamiliar twisting their corners, something that disappears the next instant as his face smooths back out to inscrutability with truly enviable ease. “What are you still doing here?”

She blinks. For just a split second, his expression was odd, almost shy, although that conclusion makes absolutely no sense, and she shakes her head, though whether it’s at his question or to dislodge her irrelevant, uncontrolled thoughts, she can’t say. Instead, she sets her shoulders, pushing it to the back of her mind, and offers him a smile of her own. “I think I should be asking you that question. But first…”

She glances down and he starts again, eyes widening as he follows her gaze. ”Oh, right. My apologies. Please, come in.”

As he moves to rise to his feet, she steps forward, reaching out an arm to wave him off before remembering and freezing too late. She can only watch, muttering a silent prayer to the god of fluids, as the tea sloshes dangerously close to the rim of the mug before settling back down, thankfully—if barely—avoiding spilling over.

She does not miss the noise from the desk that sounds suspiciously like a muffled chuckle.

Studiously avoiding his gaze, she contemplates his desk and the neat piles of notes and evidence before turning instead to the couch and his comparatively less cluttered coffee table. While papers still pepper the surface, as they inevitably do during complicated cases, it is easy enough to push them gently to the side, making a point to keep them at least somewhat organized.

“What are you—?”

She looks up, meeting his bemused gaze with a cheerful smile. “Giving you a hand. I’m your partner, after all.”

One eyebrow quirked, he huffs something that might have been a laugh. “Oh? How so? I need to—”

“Take a break,” she interjects smoothly. “Celestine told me that she came in early and even so, you got in before she did this morning.”

Something crosses his face, so quickly that she can’t identify it, before he releases a gentle sigh, though with a hint of a smile curling the corners of his mouth. “Of course she did. Meddling as always.”

“She’s concerned about you. As am I.” Before he can so much as open his mouth, she shakes her head. “I know the report needs to be finished and I’m here to help, but first, you need to take a break.”

When he only frowns, she sighs herself, though hers is with more reluctance than anything, particularly as she recalls the advice Celestine had seen fit to gift her with, wearing an impish smirk all the while.

But with Artem’s own diligence working against her… Well, desperate times and all.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath, she tilts her head, aiming for her most beseeching expression. “Don’t you trust me?”

It works just as well as, if not better than, Celestine promised; she can see the exact moment her words register, his eyes widening to an almost comical extent as a flush darkens his cheeks. Her resolve nearly crumbles on the spot, held together only by the knowledge that she is putting on the pressure for his own good.

“I… You…” He coughs, shaking his head as his face somehow manages to redden even more, beyond what she thought was even possible. “Of course I…” He sighs again, this time ringing of defeat, and mutters something under his breath, too low for her to make out.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, fidgeting once more with his tie before standing and stretching. “You’re right, of course.”

“Then come here.” She puts down the mugs, setting them side by side on the table, before plopping down on the couch and patting the spot next to her.

He sighs again, though it is belied by the warmth of his smile as he makes his way over, sitting down beside her with a long, slow exhale.

Glancing at him, she can’t help but frown. This close, it’s hard to miss the faint dark circles under his eyes, the strain tucked away in the corners of his mouth, the subtle signs of how much work he has been shouldering to help her. That Celestine noticed before she did, that she, his partner, needed it pointed out to her, is enough to make guilt, cold and swirling, pool in her gut.

“What’s the matter?”

And now he’s looking over her, brows pinched together with concern, and she almost denies everything on reflex before catching herself. Instead, she lets the worry she feels filter into her expression as she turns to face him fully.

“How late have you been staying? Are you that busy right now?”

The questions seem to catch him off guard; he shifts, a fleeting look of guilt, or perhaps shame, darting across his face before he smiles, a small, almost helpless curl of his mouth.

“I… would be lying if I said that I have a light load at the moment.”

It is not a direct admission, but also not prevarication either, and she can’t decide whether to be grateful or worried that he is even willing to admit how swamped he is, albeit in a roundabout sort of way. Grateful, since acknowledging the fact allows her to help, and worried because… Well, he must truly and rapidly be approaching overwhelmed to admit to such a thing so readily.

Taking a deep breath, she stamps down on the urge to apologize, though whether for forcing the admission or for not noticing earlier, not even she’s sure. Instead, she reaches for her mug, cradling its warmth between her palms before taking a slow sip. The warm, gentle fragrance fills her senses and she lets out a slow sigh of relief, feeling the stress of the day dissipate with the curling steam.

“You sound like you needed that.”

She feels her mouth curl into a smile without conscious thought and nods at the way he holds his, with almost reverence in his expression. “You as well.”

He inclined his head, a hint of a smile on his own lips. “Touché. It is very good though.”

“Celestine gave it to me, as a welcome back gift after…” She waves her hand vaguely, fighting the heat that, for some reason, wants to rise in her face every time she remembers that frantic, foolish trip to the hospital.

“Ah. Right.” Is it her imagination or do his cheeks also seem to flush as he takes another sip? “Well, it’s very good. And you could definitely use it.”

She clears her throat, determinedly putting it out of mind. “So could you, considering you’re still here.”

He raises an eyebrow. “And you’re not?” His expression is almost a smirk as he nods towards her notes. “Still studying, I presume.”

“Oh. Yes.” She sighs again, putting her strangely loud pulse at his expression out of her mind and instead contemplating the pile of papers with something that feels vaguely like exasperation mixed with a hint of despair. “There’s just so much to review.”

But before she can actually pick them up, he reaches over, snagging them before she can, and flips through her scribbled comments and answers.

“Hey!”

She makes a grab for them but he turns away, just enough to be slightly out of reach, as he flips through them, his brow furrowed in either disapproval or concentration. “There is nothing for you to be concerned about.” He turns a page, scanning over the script with his typical intense scrutiny before nodding. “Thorough and carefully thought out, just as you’ve always done. I have no doubt you’ll—”

He cuts himself off when she leans over until her weight is practically resting on his side. Frozen as he is, she is finally able to reclaim the packet and grins at him, though whether she’s flushed from exertion, the small victory, or their sudden closeness, she can’t be sure.

“You…”

“You are supposed to be resting, not taking precious time to help me with studying.” He’s still just watching her, sea blue eyes wide with a mix of surprise and what on anyone else, she would call embarrassment, and part of her wants to twist away, to hide both the papers and her red cheeks from his piercing gaze, but something about his presence, his closeness, has her pinned into place; she’s not sure she can even if she tried. “I can...”

“You can study later as well.” His lips curl into a smile, small but true, and she can feel her breath catch in her throat at the tenderness shining in it, can feel her heart hammering in her chest, so loud that it’s a wonder he doesn’t hear it. “If I need a break, then so do you. I know you have been just as diligent in the past weeks.”

“I… will.”

“Good.” His smile widens, full of gentleness and approval and something more, something that she doesn’t dare—that she can’t dare—put a name to, but which shines like the sun, filling her with warmth, bringing heat to her cheeks, even as she has to avert her gaze from its brilliant radiance.

Still, the quiet that settles over them, a soft blanket against the threat of another late night, is calm, comfortable. She cradles the cup between her palms, feels the heat radiating out with the steam that curls in the air before her, pale and ephemeral in the silence that she is loathe to break.

Not now, while the weight of the day slowly dissipates from her shoulders, while her breathing settles and calms, matching the steady inhales at her side. The office, the city, the rest of the world even, fade away until there is nothing but the rapid beating of her heart and the warmth of the man beside her, his rich cedar scent mixing with the fragrance of her tea, his quiet breathing aligned with her own, his constant care and steadiness.

In this moment, it would be easy, so easy, to just lean her head down a little and let it drop onto his shoulder.

And so she does.

For a heartbeat, he tenses under its weight and she nearly recoils, an apology on the tip of her tongue, but before she can, he relaxes again, even as his exhale ruffles her hair. “And you were planning on going back to studying immediately?”

“Mm.”

She feels more than hears the low rumble of his chuckle, feels the warmth of his shoulder against her cheek shifting as he settles more comfortably. Feels her heartbeat speed up as a gentle weight presses against her temple, a soft sigh sounding in her ear.

Feels a smile tug on her lips as she closes her eyes and lets herself rest.

#Tears of Themis #weiding shijian bu #Zuo Ran #Artem Wing #Zuo Ran/MC #Artem Wing/MC #Tina writes stuff. #Tina plays ToT. #sweet awkward lawyer husband #otp: to have and to hold #WE OUT HERE POSTING 25 MINUTES BEFORE THE GAME IS RELEASED. #WE REGRET NOTHING. #But at least it broke my 'I haven't posted a fic since January' streak.

[my-introvert-hideout]

💗 Edogawa Ranpo: ENTP [BSD] 💗

Ne > Ti > Fe > Si

*Based off Season 1 of the anime [Chapters 1-12] with character-based spoilers from the Wikis. I’ve also read a synopsis of “The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency,” which gives lots of insight into Fukuzawa and Ranpo in particular, and also I know Yosano’s backstory. The Onsen Drama will also make an appearance occasionally. I feel like I have a good enough grasp on their characters for this and will only add more examples rather than changing types in the future. (At least, I think so.)

I’VE ALSO SEEN HIM TYPED AS: INTP, INTJ, ENTJ

Ranpo’s Ne is overwhelming (in a positive way, of course). In contrast to Ni, Ne prefers exploring already-established external ideas rather than focusing on creating a specific one for themselves. As a result, they have a more open appearance / attitude than an Ni-dom. Ne is well-known for its more childlike charm, which is often why people type Dazai as ENTP. (Ranpo’s fabulous extroverted intuition is what caused him to start that pillow fight at the onsen 🤭) Exxx types are more likely to be bored, as well, since they are in the external world. While introverts also get bored, they find that playing in their minds is pretty natural. Ne also prefers to take time working through different ways do go about things; Ni does this subconsciously and quite quickly, especially if Se is higher in a person’s function stack. When discussing what to do about Atsushi’s abduction, Ranpo suggested going to the police instead of pushing for Fe or Te like Tanizaki or Kunikida. Fe and Te are extroverted decision-making functions and Ne is an extroverted idea-exploring and information-gathering function. (His Ti is also very involved in that debate, but that goes without saying!) Ne’s ability to generate a plethora of ideas at once is probably the starting point of how his Ultra Deduction works. Si’s experience, Ti’s logic, and Fe’s understanding of others then whittles those possibilities down. But he’s also a genius. So take that process and amplify it. I’m also trying out this theory that generally someone’s likes and dislikes correspond to whether or not they’re a sensor or intuitive.

LIKES: Logical thinking, fantastic tales

DISLIKES: Common sense, useless knowledge

Literally 100% intuitive things.

Ti is, again, pretty much the deduction function, and is in the same position as Dazai's. During the Yamagiwa-Sugimoto case, both characters identified the killer correctly using this function but relied on different perceiving axes. Ti is also seen as very witty, fast, sharp, and sometimes subtle while Te is more overtly blunt and surface-level since it doesn’t care as much about Fe. I can’t see Ranpo using Te consciously, especially when considering his surprising use of Fe. I think the xNTJ perception of him comes from later on in the series, where he showcases a more serious and leaderlike persona. An ENTP’s shadow functions are Ni, Te, Fi, and Se -- you could think of it as a mini INTJ being inside of them. And if that INTJ-ness is being paired with his more extroverted nature, it’s understandable to peg him as an ENTJ. But still, I don’t think anyone would compare his usual self to Kunikida!

Like Dazai, Ranpo uses Fe for manipulation. However, this is more controlled, mainly directed towards enemies and suspects (or to get people to buy him snacks lol) while Dazai will even play mind games with ‘friends’ and allies. Remember him making Sugimoto cry when he revealed Yamagiwa’s last words? But honestly, I think Ranpo’s parents, Yosano, and Fukuzawa have really helped develop the greatest detective’s Fi. It’s one of the reasons I prefer Ranpo over Dazai; I don’t really have introverted feeling in my stack, so it’s not that I’m drawn to the same function in him. It’s the fact that Ranpo is more transparent about his intentions. Sure, he is a bit secretive in some ways, but he clearly loves the ADA and will do anything to protect those he cares about. It’s even revealed he fully knows that he doesn’t have an ability, but continues with the act in order to keep the harmony of the ADA. On another note, I’m not sure if he kept quiet at the onsen about not beng able to sleep when it’s completely dark: It could be that he was embarrassed about it or that he didn’t want to be an inconvenience. (I seriously doubt he just forgot to mention it until the lights were already out.) But either way, it makes me go 🥺. He also doesn’t resort to lying as quickly as Dazai does. It’s understandable why, but Dazai just doesn’t operate quite like this -- not yet, at least. And similarly to Sir Suicide™, Ranpo uses Fe to create a bit of a mask. It’s not for the same reasons, but it largely produces the same result. AND. I don’t know why people don’t really talk about this, but he took off his hat in respect when he saw Yamagiwa’s body and called her a lady -- without the teasing tone of voice Dazai might have. Maybe I’m just weird, but that scene really makes me happy, for some reason. Praise is also a very Fe-heavy thing, and I’m sure we all know how Ranpo is about praise LOL.

Frankly, Si is an interesting part of his personality. In the main series, it manifests as a distaste of ‘boring’ things, and he doesn’t seem particularly impressed with this function being Atsushi’s go-to. Inferior Si isn’t particularly good at remembering how to do things. Riding trains, anyone? On the other hand, his backstory actually has quite a bit of this. In The Untold Story of the Founding of the Detective Agency, Ranpo refuses to believe Fukuzawa that he’s incredibly gifted -- because he was clinging so tightly to his parents’ teachings. Right before Fukuzawa tells Ranpo that he has an ability, the latter told Fukuzawa to scold him, as he's dealt with it plenty of times already to know where the conversation is heading. (Excuse me while my heart shatters.) Regardless, after the lie, Ranpo ran off to stop the murder from taking place while deciding that “Since they’re ignorant infants--I’ll have to protect them!” Yes, his trademark cockiness is there, but that Si sense of duty and the Fe wish to protect is clearly present. I’d also like to point out that common sense and ‘useless’ trivia knowledge are literally Si incarnate.

Here’s a short excerpt from Ranpo’s point of view: ‘The reason he gave me those glasses was also for my sake. I’m okay with that, for now at least. Special ability user has a cooler ring to it anyway. (I got praised, so it’s all good.)’ *playing with kitten* “Show me your tummy---!”

Fi Blind Spot: Like Dazai, this is relatively self-explanatory. He values Fi more than the ex-executive, but not to the degree someone with that function in their stack does. I mean, one of his quotes is even about his willingness to turn himself into a demon if it meant the ADA would be fine! That’s a pretty clear use of Fe and a disregard of Fi.

Ne-Fe Loop: ‘An ENTP in an Ne-Fe loop would imagine a bunch of negative future scenarios and lose sight of reality as they fail to apply logic to their unrealistic beliefs. In addition, they become extremely sensitive to others’ opinions of them and are extremely concerned with being accepted by those around them and feeling disliked.’ source Just head on over to  Fukuzawa and Ranpo’s Dynamic.

ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵖʳᵒᵗᵉᶜᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵒᵘˢ ᵇᵉᵃⁿ

#edogawa ranpo #bsd ranpo #entp #entp mbti #entp personality #mbti #mbti types #bungo stray dogs #character analysis #typology #infj x entp #happy valentines day!

[sailormoonandme]

Checking out other Magical Girl shows Part 2

As part of my ongoing research for my fanfic (which is rapidly becoming an excuse to watch anime lol) I checked out the first episode of Cutey Honey F.

Now I should be upfront, I had researched and watched a few videos about Cutie Honey before watching this so I wasn’t going into this cold. Maybe that was a detriment, maybe that was a benefit as I took the premise at face value.

Nevertheless I honestly think that this was my favourite of all the Magical Girl shows I’ve checked out so far for this project.  

A LOT of that has to do with the style of the show. Obviously you have the forever classic banger of a theme song and this show has a particularly great rendition of it. But it’s more than that because the music over all was simply stellar. What was most pleasing for me was that it felt like a cousin to Sailor Moon’s legendary OST. Sailor Moon’s soundtrack was influenced a lot by 1970s music (especially disco) and Cutey Honey was a product of that decade. As such the music for this 90s revival carries a lot of the same musical DNA.

In fact, this show over all feels incredibly reminiscent to Sailor Moon and more specifically my favourite season, Sailor Stars. IIRC from my research that is no coincidence. Cutey Honey F I believe took over Sailor Stars’ time slot and had staff members in common. I think this is most noticeable in the art style for the show.

I’m really not in the know when it comes to animation styles and such so this might just be a general 90s aesphetic thing, but the characters look REALLY similar to the designs seen in Sailor Stars with Honey herself looking very similar to Usagi in that season. And I’m A-okay with that because imo Sailor Moon never looked better than in its final season. By extension I think this is probably my favourite rendition of Cutey Honey in her fighting form. I haven’t seen the other versions of the character but I saw enough videos and documentaries to get a good impression of the character designs implemented in those shows.  

The monster designs were also pretty cool and I in particular loved the Sister Jill scene as it was very reminiscent of Queen Beryl and Metalia from Sailor Moon Classic. Although given Cutey Honey’s large shadow within the Magical Girl genre perhaps it was the other way around.  

Beyond the stylistic aspects of the show the story and characters seriously worked for me. Although we only got a cursory introduction to them the episode set up a supporting cast with relatively defined roles ripe for expansion going forward. I especially liked the touch of establishing Honey as a skilled sword fighter in her own right as opposed to her simply getting that skill via her transformation itself.  

I guess maybe there might’ve been more done with her relationship with her father, but from my understanding there wasn’t all that much in the original show in the first place. Her father’s death was there as set up for her powers and motivations and then we moved on. Here we got at least a little insight into the depths of how much he loved her. Like the episode SOLD us on the love between these two people as opposed to us merely understanding it on a technical level because obviously a parent and child would love each other. To that end you do feel the gut punch when Honey is in denial about her father’s abduction, her home being destroyed and her father’s death. It seems like this episode took the general plot of the first episode of the 1970s show and essentially placed the emphasis in different places and for me that reprioritizing seriously worked.  

Additionally I think the shift in demographic for the show worked out great. I’m no anime expert, let alone for shojo or Magical girls. However, it is my understanding that Cutey honey was originally intended as a show for a shojo, then got retooled to be a shonen and this show took the shonen incarnation and further retooled it to the shojo audience it was originally intended for. That is a fascinating creative evolutionary process all on its own. But I think that is why Cutey Honey, even when stripped (pun intended) of the most famous aspect of it (the racy transformations) and geared towards a totally different audience works and the stuff that (in my limited experience) I’ve identified as ‘typical shojo’ concepts and what not (the flower imagery being one example) feels like it fits naturally with the story and character.

In conclusion, I got more than enough material for my fic from this episode alone. But I plan on watching at least a couple more episodes of this anyway because I was just that impressed with it.  

P.S. I lolled hard when Honey referred to herself as a flight attendant to Hell. Damn. Guess she doesn’t fuck around!

#Cutey Honey #Cutie Honey #Cutey Honey F #magical girls #Sailor moon #sailor stars #honey kisaragi #Panther Claw #Sister Jill #My essays

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Why do we feel such strong emotions to not existent people? How do people have crush and /or other deep feelings for... for example, Lotor?

Hi, anon! Wow, great question! A lot of researchers and psychologists have asked similar questions. The term “parasocial relationship” was coined by Horton and Wohl in 1956 to describe the deep relational emotions that fans were attributing to celebrities who had never actually met them before. Over time, the phrase “parasocial relationship” has moved to also mean the one-sided relationships that viewers can make with fictional characters as well, whether those bonds are based in friendship, romance, or even vicariously living through that character (kinning).

So when you talk about a fan connecting deeply with Lotor, then we’re talking about that fan’s parasocial relationship. And that phrase might help you find more psychology research about this if you’re interested!

To answer your question about “why” people make these kinds of bonds:

A 2018 academic article (Parasocial Relationships with Fictional Characters in Therapy) by Kathleen Gannon states, “Parasocial relationships can build overtime, and the more that someone is viewing, playing or reading about a character’s story the more likely that this connection to them will become more intense (Hall, 2017).” In other words, the more you’re exposed to the story of a character, the more likely you are to develop emotions for that character, and for those emotions to grow.

The types of emotions you might have for a character can depend on many factors, of course. But Gannon’s article and various others go on talk about how you might see yourself in a character, or see them experiencing a struggle you’re facing in real life, and those details inspire you to create empathy bonds. Some people admire the looks or traits of a character and want to be them, etc.

So that emotion you have for a character, whatever the emotion, is real, even if the fiction inspiring that emotion isn’t. And those emotions then help to dictate the type of bond you might have toward that character.

This article by Catherine Anillo (”Why we mourn fictional characters: The very real emotion behind fake death”) adds that the social phenomenon of several people coming together over a character further heightens that parasocial relationship. Because now, even if that character is fictional, the community based around them is in fact real, and your conversations about them are real, etc. That character becomes part of an actual, real-life culture and can even inform the real-life friendships and relationships you build, as well as your own personality or identity. 

But is “level of exposure” the only factor for why someone might build a parasocial relationship? 

Tilo Hartmann in his 2016 paper, Parasocial Interaction, Parasocial Relationships, and Well-Being, explores this:

There’s some research about how parasocial relationships may be a stand-in for lonely people who don’t have such relationships in real life, have been rejected in real life, or don’t have the social skills to have real relationships. This is called the Compensation Hypothesis, and it’s a little controversial. While there are some studies supporting this, there’s also several other studies showing that the Compensation Hypothesis can’t explain why so many well-adjusted people engage in parasocial relationships. In fact, Hartmann reveals that a lot of people who engage in parasocial relationshps aren’t lonely in real life and showed strong interpersonal skills during the study:

“Contrary to the skill-deficit compensation idea, research has found that people who are both motivated and able to develop social relationships, e.g., extro-verted individuals, may develop both more intense real and parasocial relationships. For example, in a study by Vorderer and Knobloch (1996), individuals who were not very motivated to mix with other people, but also were not shy, maintained the strongest parasocial relationships. Likewise, Tsao (1996) found that socially skilled people, i.e., individuals with higher cognitive and affective trait empathy, maintained the strongest parasocial relationships. In addition, in his study, trait extraversion was positively related to parasocial relationship intensity, whereas trait introversion was unrelated. Taken together these findings suggest that, contrary to the skill-deficit compensation hypothesis, people with greater – not weaker – interpersonal skills develop more intense parasocial relationships.” - page 135

Hartmann’s collected research overview goes on to suggest that there are levels of parasocial relationships and different kinds of attachments—in that some people have very, very intense attachments while others have a milder form of attachment. The research does seem to indicate that people with social anxieties might experience a more intense parasocial relationship with a fictional character or celebrity, compared to a person who is not as afraid of social rejection. And that explanation makes sense because…in a parasocial relationship, you’re the one in control of the relationship. The fictional character can’t actually say “no” to you or disagree/be cruel unless you envision them doing this. The fictional character satisfies the need to belong.

But according to collected research in Hartmann’s paper, it seems a willingness to engage in a parasocial relationship at all is part of what drives the entire entertainment industry and makes fiction a fun pastime for everyone (mentioned on page 137). If people can’t build a parasocial relationship with a show’s characters, then that show isn’t going to be seen as particularly likeable either. And even having relational emotions about social network blogs or twitters, etc. is a form of a parasocial relationship.

But is all of this bad?

That first article I tossed out, by Kathleen Gannon, talks about the use of parasocial relationships in therapy environments. So it seems that psychologists have become increasingly interested in plugging into this social phenomenon to help patients overcome things like trauma and anxieties, etc. And even Gannon herself acknowledges the type of fun and enjoyable communities that people build within cosplay circles, conventions, which also can feed into one’s own career.

So it seems like the answer to “why do we do this” involves a combination of these things:

Humans can make pack bonds with literally anything because we are emotional jelly bags, and very few people are immune to creating empathy bonds. The whole entertainment industry feeds off this very basic phenomenon and actually tries to hook you so that you’ll support a show or celebrity.

Parasocial relationships can help people overcome or face real-life issues or have an escape from real-life pressures.

Parasocial relationships are a known means of accessing fun communities and friendships with other like-minded people and can healthily add to a sense of well-being, social community, and identity.

(Note, the research from Hartmann does caution that a parasosocial relationship can become unhealthy/pathological, such as in the case of people who fully substitute real-life relationships for parasocial ones and isolate themselves from real people, or delude themselves into expecting that the character/celebrity can and should reciprocate the relationship. - page 138. So just like any relationship or social bond, a parasocial relationship has to exist within certain parameters for it to be a healthy and fun/meaningful addition to your life.)

But “why do people make a parasocial relationship with Lotor” specifically?

It seems the Lotor fandom is composed of many people with many different reasons for why they like this character:

The Lotor character is dynamic with several talents and flaws, so that makes him feel more real to begin with, as opposed to some wooden/static heroes or comic book villains. He’s very complex with a wide range of emotion and thought processes and motivations. He’s relatable because he’s imperfect, more fleshed out. More capable of being unpredictable, like real people are.

People seem to identify with his struggles as a person of mixed heritage and as a person who has suffered abuse and psychological trauma from his parents.

A lot of people admire that this character also doesn’t allow himself to be defined by a victim card. So for many, he takes on even a “role model” vibe in relation to overcoming abuse or prejudice.

A lot of people like that he has nerd vibes while also being physically powerful and commanding with weapons. So he’s both mentally and physically capable as a character. They might either want that for themselves or else are attracted to those traits existing in the same character.  

He’s a very aesthetically pleasing character to many, with a complex visual design, so I do think people admire that about him, and that inspires other types of emotional bonds as well.

His darker, more dangerous side makes him an interesting springboard for typical power fantasies, potential Jungian “Shadow Confrontation,” or some kind of wish fulfillment.

The VLD show itself really played on viewer emotional bonds with this character by consistently showing his backstory in a sympathetic light, down to even flashbacks of him as an innocent child being brainwashed by toxic culture and growing up in an environment without Voltron to save him. So the way the show presented Lotor really heightened people’s already established connections with Lotor.

There’s probably other reasons that I’m just not thinking about why people connect with Lotor, lol. But either way, I hope at least some of this info helps answer your question or gives you resources or ideas to research further! 

#Lotor #Voltron #Parasocial Relationships #Mental Health #Social community #Lightning doing some research

[palevelvetpurplenoon]

Here we buried our illusion

Summary: Anniversary dinner gone wrong. The unpleasant aftermath. 

Warnings: noncon, dubcon, smut, sexual content, slight manipulation, mentions of Hydra, breeding kink if you look hard enough, female masturbation, mentions of drugs. 

Word count: 2.3k

Pairing: Dark!Reader x Steve Rogers

A/N: So here’s my entry for @mariessecretfantasies​ challenge (congrats on 500 followers, yay!). I got the second prompt, “In illusion comfort lies. The safest way, the straight and narrow, No confusion no surprise.” I struggled a bit with the lyrical prompt and the whole writing process in general but I managed to push through with this idea. In the end, I think it ended up quite well (lol). This is my second fic ever written and I just kept this in my draft for a while before mustering up enough courage to hit send. I hope y’all enjoy this unedited mess! Any feedback is welcomed 🥺

Steve should have known better. That her smile was way too sweet. That her laughter was so intoxicating that he got drunk on it for the first time in his life. That everything she did was calculative. That her touch was leading him on. That her sweet, innocent face was all but a mask. That perhaps there was something hidden behind her eyes. That perchance she had approached him just for this day. 

These thoughts wrestled themselves restlessly in his head, creating an inebriating mixture of wistful thinking and harsh reality. As much as he had despised what she stood for, at the end of the day, Steve would hate to admit that a part of this was actually his fault. Letting her in so easy after years of putting up walls around him, afraid that he would endanger other people, only to end up in this particularly compromising situation. 

The cold, metal door sounded a click, drawing his attention to the lithe figure that was coming in. She looked perfect as always, though her hair was a bit disheveled, shapely face, full, kissable lips and stealthy y/e/c eyes. He wanted to destroy the pretentious smile she was spotting right now, as much as he wanted to bruise her lips with his. The thought did not surprise him. After all, that was what drew Steve to this woman in the first place. 

She drew a chair closer to seat herself in front of him. The American golden boy was now bound tightly to an intricate recliner that was equipped with electric lines running along the sides. His hands were placed on the armrest, two strong, metallic, rounded tongs biting painfully into his wrists while his ankles and torso faced the same fate. Steve had tried his best to break through the clamps but he only earned back cutting electric shocks. Besides, Steve was sure they had put some drugs into his system in order to weaken his sense of judgment and mobility. 

She pursed her cherry lips, a frown slight grazed her face as she stood up to get closer to him. “Poor baby,” she teased cruelly, “all pretty and bound up like this.” She fisted his hair, pulling his face forward as she continued her taunting. She was so close to him right now, the slight scent of her favorite perfume was now filling his space, triggering a chain reaction deep within his battered mind. He could hear the spokes and gears turning, pushing up a memory of the first time they had met each other. 

Now that he had seen everything clearly, perhaps that was all a ploy to place her in his life. He had been deployed for a rescue mission of a hijacked ambassador in a small country near the border of Slovakia. The threats were identified and eliminated quickly and without any collateral damages. When he made his way to the rescued victims, it was somehow as if fate had decided to turn his head to the right side to meet the gaze of the young girl, who despite her age, carried such a fervent fire in her eyes. She was so sweet, Steve had remembered. She personally sought after him after things had settled down to thank him. He recalled vividly jacking himself off and cumming violently to the memory of her biting her lips shyly, secretly touching his body.

And when months later they met at a national security convention, Steve decided to turn coincidences into a blooming relationship, which ended with the 3-month anniversary he had set up, where she had tempered the wine and food. 

“Don’t tell me you were thinking about how we first met,” she let out a mocking laugh and landed a peck on his right cheek, “It was almost too easy.” She straddled herself onto his lap now, hands snaking around his neck, tilting his head slightly up to meet her hot mouth. “I really thought you were not fooled,” she slipped her tongue inside, “but I saw you, you know.” Light feathery kisses landed on the corner of Steve’s mouth as he turned to the side, refusing to let Y/N toy with his heart. “You were magnificent. All hunched up, cock in hand,” she continued her assault with kisses all over his face, “oh and when you cum.” She faked a shudder, mimicking his action while started to grind her hips on his length, which was growing without Steve being aware of it. 

“You were so innocent, I must say. It’s like you get a hard-on for saving any innocent souls being harmed.” Y/N withdrew the hands around Steve’s neck as she moved to unbutton her white blouse, revealing the same colored bra underneath. He swallowed tightly as her intention became clearer, as was his raging hard-on. “Y/N, please, let me go,” he yanked on his restraint, “Or I swear to God, when I get out of here, I will hurt you more than you ever know.” To his surprise, she only let out a laugh and continued on removing any articles of clothing left. And when she finished, Y/N went to her knees, hands trailing absentmindedly on his thighs, which she had pushed wide apart. “Would it hurt more than what I’m about to do, Captain?” she fluttered her eyelashes, “cause I sure as hell would enjoy it while I could.” 

With that, she undid his trousers and pulled the zipper down, the sound of clashing metal prompted him to struggle against the bindings one more time. Yet, when she reached in to palm his length through the fabrics of his boxers, Steve could feel himself pushing his hips into her hand. He let out a subdued groan as she continued her assault, teasing him with the softness and warmness of her hands. “Beg me, Captain,” she pulled the band of fabric down, letting his hot flesh slap against his stomach as he grew accustomed to the cold air, “I will suck it if you beg me to.” To prove her words, she stuck out her tongue and gave his cock a lavish sweep on the tip while pumping it, forcing precum to gather on the slit atop. 

Steve gripped his armrest firmly, refusing to give in to the temptation she was presenting. Her tits were spilling from the small white bra she had picked out and if he squinted his eyes hard enough, he could see her nipples growing through the thin materials. Two hard peaks waiting to be suckled on. Sensing his gaze, Y/N smirked and slipped his cock in between her breasts, pushing them together and sliding in a dangerously low pace up and down his length. “Ooh, you like this, Captain,” she continued on, even sucked on the tip every time his cock neared her tantalizing mouth, “Just say the word and I’ll be yours.”

He could not take it anymore. The dual combination and visual and physical assault on his senses were too much and Steve knew he had to compromise. “Please, baby, please,” his breathing was so rapid, “Put it in all the way. Suck on it. Let me fuck your mouth.” He rolled his hips forward, struggling against the constraint to chase the pleasure he did not know the name to. “Y/N, I want to come all over your tits,” Steve breathed out harshly as she obeyed his words, nestled his cock tightly in between and picked up the pace. Her mouth hovered seductively over his flesh, providing it with occasional suckles, which Steve found torturous as all he wanted to was to rammed his cock deep down her throat and felt the vibrating of the deep tunnel around his raging hard-on. And it was like she read his mind. Y/N moved to release his length from between her tits and take him into her mouth. She bobbed her head up and down his cock while looking up into his eyes with sweetness. Steve erupted without any warning, his thick white seed spilled down her throat and overflowed her swollen lips down to her chest. “Delicious,” she remarked and swallowed it all, “don’t wanna waste any of this.” 

Shame filled Steve after he had come down from the high. He was supposed to be the beacon of goodness in dark times, the definition of good and righteous, yet here he was, chained to a high-tech restraining system, his cock twitching with excitement with the thought of fucking his ex-girlfriend’s cunt after he had taken her mouth. Steve knew full well he must start looking for a way out of this, but his head ran empty as Y/N push her panties to the side, revealing her wet and glistening cunt as she plunged to fingers deep into it. She had turned around to give him the glorious view of her rounded ass and pussy being stretched by two slender fingers. Her wanton moans filled his ears and before he knew it, Steve was hard again. “Did you fantasize about this as well, Steve?” she purred, “fucking this cunt with your hard cock?”. She seemed to hit a spot within her walls as her knees lost balance and she had to lean on her right leg. She increased her speed now, breathing harder and profanity was spilling from her lips like poisonous enchantment. “I dreamed about you taking me as well,” her idle right hand was now rubbing on the sweet bundle of nerves, “from behind.” Another moan. “You pulled my hair real hard.” And another. “And your cock hit that spot every time your entered.” 

Y/N was on the floor now, her knees bent wide open to let Steve see the mess between her legs. “And when you cum, you made me call you Captain. Fuck me, please Captain, please. Fuck.” She came violently while shouting his name. From this angle, Steve could see everything. How her juices spilled over her pussy lips onto the floor, how her ass was begging to spanked, how her knees scraped against the hard concrete as she relished the friction. Y/N settled herself on his laps, her core dangerously close to the head of his cock and Steve thought for a moment if he could sway his hips just a bit, she would slide right in.

 “So, Captain, are you ready to beg?” 

But Y/N was well aware of his desire. She wanted to tease out the weak man that was hidden behind the muscles that were enhance decades ago. “Say “Fuck me, Y/N, princess” and I will let you have it,” she licked her dry lips, leaned in closer and pushed her juice-coated fingers into his mouth, “Come on, Captain. I know it’s right there. Captain, I will make you feel good.” Steve tried to remain in control of his lust-filled mind, yet he was well aware he was tethering on an alarming edge as he felt his command slipping away faster and faster with every kisses she was placing on his neck and her teasing hands on his sensitive nipples. In the end, lust won over. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Princess, Fuck me, please. Baby, fuck.”

“With pleasure, Captain.”

Y/N kissed Steve squarely on the mouth, their tongues engaging in a final dance for dominance as she lifted herself up slightly to slide him inside. They both let out a loud groan when he felt his entire length was encased by velvety warmth. She started slowly at first, letting herself getting used to his girth, then, Steve could feel the change in her. Y/N picked up her speed as she bounced at a violent rate in his lap. His name was on her lips like a pray that she kept on repeating. She reached in between the tangling bodies to rubbed the hard swollen nub. The tension was brewing in his balls and Steve pushed his hips up to meet hers with every thrust. He groaned out loud, “Fucking hell, Princess. You are so tight. Your cunt is latching onto my cock.” His words were only met with the hard sound of flesh slapping on each other. 

“Steve...I think I’m close,” she slacked off against his broad chest, “do you want to cum, Captain?” She tried to straighten her back, gripping her tits and bringing them close to his mouth. “Suck on ‘em and beg me like the good Captain you are,” she grunted out breathlessly. And Steve obeyed her every word. His tongue dashed out to suckle on her sensitive buds, making them swollen as he gripped them with his teeth. In the meantime, Y/N reached down to palm Steve’s ball, while she was bouncing harder now, each determined thrust was met with the same intense movements of the man beneath. Heavy moans were followed by a harmony of shouting and grunting as the two came without care, their white fluids mixing together and dripping on the chair. 

“You didn’t beg, Captain,” Y/N murmured under her breath in his ear, “I think I might have to punish you.” 

--------------------------

“You know that was not supposed to happen Y/N. Your mission was to get information out of him and nothing else,” the older man sitting across sternly admonished her, but his words just went into one ear and out the other. She stared quietly at the black and red skull and tentacles emblem behind him, feeling its fire burning within her. In the back of her mind, Steve Rogers took her father away, it was only fair after all, that he provided her with a child.

#maries500challenge #dark reader #steve rogers #steve x reader #oneshot #dark fic #dark!reader x steve

[purplexedhuman]

Hi Pooja! Sorry i've been kinda absent. i feel like life keeps on distracting me. oops. anyway. MUTUAL PINING!!! YES! I LOVE MUTUAL PINING and the STUPIDITY that causes it. i really like angst, angst, and more angst. hurt/comfort. doing small kind things for each other. family feels is definitely great. i have never tried filtered coffee. it sounds great though! i love most forms of caffeine! i particularly like natural processed cold brewed coffee. (1/?)

And i like tea. I used to drink a lot of energy drinks... but i have since stopped. i drink some soda but i prefer making my own syrups and adding it to seltzer. i love indian food. all the breads and sweets. i think my favorite dessert is shrikhand.... mmmm... cardamom shrikhand makes me so happy! i also really like all the chaats i've had. om nom nom nom nom. look at you, making me hungry! it's almost bed time! I should not eat. i had a HUGE dinner tonight of home made fried foods... XD (2/?)

Ok... question time... what do you put in your burritos? i like most things in mine. i'm not a picky eater... which mdzs character are you most like? and why? if you had to assign breakfast foods to mdzs characters, who would be what? it's a silly question but i'm curious to see where your brain takes it! how have you been this week? and how have your kitties been? anything particularly interesting in your life or that the cats did? do you enjoy cooking? <3, 🔥🐯 (3/3)

No worries! And I’m so sorry about the delayed response! 

My favourite form of mutual pining isn’t complete stupidity or obliviousness though. I prefer a mix of mild obliviousness/good at hiding feelings + “there’s no way that they could feel this way”. That beautiful mix of emotions!! And angst but only if there’s a happy ending- this can be so cathartic and beautiful! Also, i’m better at inflicting angst through my sets than handling it when I read/see it, oops. 

Oh yes, shrikhand is good! It’s been a while since I had any though :( Same with chaat! I haven’t had any since the beginning of the year or even longer, since it’s something that doesn’t get delivered well. You need to eat it live and crunchy! 

I’m (mostly) vegetarian, so all my burrito fillings are vegetables, rice, beans, sour cream, salsa, etc. I dont know how to make this though, I’ve always just ordered burritos. And same, I’m usually not a very picky eater. 

My cats have been really naughty lately. Wuji scratched me twice while trying to play! I’m trying to finish my one grad school application for this year, but since I haven’t finished the essays, I feel guilty coming on tumblr or making gifs or doing any other “fun” stuff, which is why it took me a while to answer this. sorry!!

I sometimes enjoy cooking, but a lot of the time it feels like too much effort. On days when I’m in the mood and when I used to live with my roommates before covid, I used to like just playing music or watching a show or listening to a podcast while cooking. It was calming. My flatmate was better at cooking and we got along well, so it was really fun to cook along with her. She’d be the chef and I’d be the assistant and we’d watch something funny on netflix or youtube while we cooked or sing along to songs. And we got to experiment a bit as well! I’m not very experimental when just cooking on my own- I’m still trying to get the basics right. 

Hmm, I think I might be most like lan wangji. I’ve also spent my childhood and teenage years worried about the rules and following them. I’m not very social or talkative (at least until I get to know the person well). I hide a lot of emotions and don’t really show them much on my face (the number of times people have told me to smile more... and not even strangers, these were classmates or dance instructors, etc)

Who do you identify with most?

Breakfast food as characters... wow, this is tough. I’ve never thought about this or about assigning foods to anyone. Let me think.

Wwx: Maybe Waffles with whipped cream and chocolate and maple syrup? And salted caramel with chilli flakes in just one small spot. Sweet and energetic, but with a bit of salt and a hidden anger if you hit the wrong spot.

Lwj: hmm... Maybe dosa? Looks simple and with pretty plain ingredients, but secretly an indulgence (if you add more oil, masala, chutneys, etc). Also takes a lot of effort to make the batter, but once that initial effort is done, it’s very simple to actually cook. I guess this could be a metaphor for... it’s hard to get to know lwj but once you do, it’s a treat. lol

Sizhui/a-yuan: a cinnamon roll. no explanation needed :P

yanli: omelette/frittata. hearty, healthy, delicious but simple and wholesome. 

jiang cheng: coffee. seems bitter and dark on the outside, but will help you get through the day and can be sweet if you do it right. 

jingyi: doughnuts filled with jelly. Sweet, filling, fun and messy. 

Hmm... I can’t think of any more... But such a interesting question. Really got me wracking my brain for like 30 mins!

#mdzsnetcc #ask #Anonymous #🔥🐯

[just-bpd-thoughts]

What does a BPD relationship look like? I'm newly self-diagnosed & I just feel like every guy hates me after a while. Even though I'm not sure that they do? I just feel like I have nothing unique to offer & someone else does. I feel like a burden & I don't want to open up & make them think I'm crazy (because I already feel crazy). I get into these emotional retreats and will spend days silently crying myself to sleep beside them so they don't know I'm hurting. If anyone can help, please.

I definitely know how you feel. In several past romantic encounters I've felt like I was too complex and crazy for the people I had feelings for, and sometimes I was, which is alright. Not everyone is mentally equipped to love someone with bpd. It can take patience and understanding.

More importantly, it's okay to be a complicated person. It's okay to have bpd. Not everyone will understand, and some of those people won't be willing to try. That isn't because you suck or because you aren't good enough, because those things aren't true! Having a mental illness isn't something that you can control, and it's hard to manage, especially when you don't have professional help. That can have an impact on relationships, even more so if the mental illness is bpd. It's hard for us to process and comprehend feelings of insecurity and paranoia, and that can cause internal and external damage.

While those feelings are valid, they are usually irrational, which can be hard for you to identify, analyze, and unpack. The solution to this is to communicate. Your partner should know how you're feeling so they can try to help you work through those emotions, specifically when they're worries about your bond with them. For example, last week was my six month anniversary with my girlfriend, and I wrote her an essay about how much she means to me, and then read it to her aloud. It made me feel particularly vulnerable, and then through the rest of the day, she seemed more quiet and distracted than usual. It bothered me and had me anxious for several hours before I very calmly asked if she was out of it because of something I said, and she said that it wasn't, she was just h1gh (lol)

Your significant other is there to support you emotionally and to make sure you're okay. It's alright to ask for comfort when you're feeling bad, whether it be a discussion, an agreement, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a date night, or just some snuggles. Not only is it fine to ask for, but you deserve that solace and care.

To answer the question "what does a bpd relationship look like" would be pointless, because they don't all look the same. They have similar patterns of behavior, but the other party is a variable that has a large effect on the dynamic of the relationship. What a healthy bpd relationship looks like, though, is open honesty, trust, care, understanding, communication, patience, clear boundaries, and thoughtfulness.

I would offer more sage relationship advice but this is very long as is and has taken awhile to write. However, i have the privilege of having been in therapy for a long time, and I recently became much more enlightened about mental health and relationships. If you ever have any other questions I gotchu 🤙🤙

#bpd advice #bpd #just bpd thoughts

[duchessofostergotlands]

Hi Jess! I'm really sorry to bother you, and if you don't feel up to answer this I totally understand! But I don't actually know any other levelheaded British person to ask and I can't really google and find an answer. I'd just like to start by apologizing if I express myself clumsily or write something inappropriate. English is not my first language and I'm not sure I will be able to explain what I'm wondering properly. I haven't been particularly interested in the whole H&M situation, but (1

while avoiding doing something I really should be doing I found myself in a YouTube hole with news reports from the last week. Where, what surprised me a bit, the narrative in the American media seems to be that they have been hounded out of the U.K. by the racist media and the racist British public. Now, I’m not British and don’t really follow British media, but I’m a white woman from a (very white) European country. Which also means that I’m never going to be in a position to identify what’s(2) racism and what isn’t. But I do believe that every western country do in some way express or have racism built in their society. It might be in different extensions but it always there. The US reporters seemed to mainly use DM headlines as as examples, and even I know that the daily mail is a paper best to ignore (based on watching the occasional British comedy show). But what I wanted to know was if you thought that that’s a fair analysis why H&M have chosen to step away? Or is it the US (3) media creating their own narrative around this? I’ve always thought that the British people weren’t particularly bothered about the rf as long as they don’t venture into criminal or political activities or provide a public holiday. As I said I’m not British and I don’t know what to make of it. If you don’t feel up to answering and it’s to hypothetical I totally understand! I just got confused and really had no one else to ask. Kind regards! (4 (I hope, I forgot which number I was on;))

Hello :) Well I am also a white woman from a very white country (North East is super white, I’ve always enjoyed Trevor Noah’s skit about going to Scotland and seeing only white people vs going to Australia and seeing only white people). I think there’s kind of two parts to this. Whether there was racism and whether it was what sparked them leaving. For the first question, undoubtedly. Right from the Straight Outta Compton headlines there have been large parts of the British press- as well as press from other nations, particularly Australia- who have no idea how to talk about a woman of colour and have made both accidental and deliberate racist comments with little to no effort to reflect and discuss. While there have no doubt been racist comments from the British public at large, especially in a post-Brexit and BoJo led climate, I have personally heard people talk about Meghan three times in my life and they have all been about one sentence: 1) will we get a bank holiday when they get married? 2) she looked great when she came out after Archie was born but is really brave for wearing a white dress as the people I was with are mothers and then went on to tell horror stories about their experiences 3) I’m bored of the royals being in the press constantly. That includes conversations I’ve been part of, eavesdropped on, heard on the train etc. We don’t really talk about royals on a day to day basis. Even within the fandom, most tinhats are from countries that don’t even contribute to the BRF. So truly royalty doesn’t come up much at all but as a nation we absolutely have issues with racism that we don’t talk about which probably manifested amongst people in the general public. Then there’s the second question. I think, and this is just speculation, that it’s mixed. Personally I think that Meghan and Harry always would have left eventually. That’s based on their statement. They emphasised wanting to be financially independent and outlined clear restrictions on royalty that they would no longer be adhering to when they become their definition of financially independent. These things are non-negotiable to the royals, they are there for a reason, and I think it always would have got to a point where they decided their vision for their lives was not compatible with being working royals. But I certainly would say that the racism Meghan has experienced- particularly the physical threats such as the anthrax scare- have sped that process up and made it happen in a more abrupt, messy way. I personally think- and I have no way of knowing, it’s an alternate reality and you know how I feel about those lol- that they might have tried to cling on if she’d not faced such racism but decided that it wasn’t worth going through this if they were just going to leave anyway 

#ask #anon #meghan markle #british royal family

[88missmarauder88]

Sirius x Reader, Part Deux

So this is a companion to the first-ever fanfic request (located a few posts down the way), which was “Sirius x Reader” in which the reader was James’s sister and she and Sirius had a “moment” whilst listening to music. 

@underworldsheiress mentioned that she’d love to see James’s and Remus’s reactions, and I discovered that I wanted to see them too! lol So this is another Sirius x Reader but featuring a lot of James and Remus. It’s quite long, I think, but it was also helping me flesh out a larger story I’ve been working on forever, so it’s serving dual purposes, and thanks for the idea!

If anyone else has any requests, please feel free to pass them along. They’re helping me so much with my other story!

Something was different.

To be more accurate, several things were different, but in your still-half-asleep state, identifying them simultaneously was an impossible task. You forced your brain -- which currently felt like it was wrapped in a thick layer of cotton -- to focus on one at a time instead.

First, there was the realisation that you had just gotten the first good night of sleep you'd had in ages. You let out a nearly inaudible sigh as you slowly began to recognise the effects you'd all but forgotten. You weren't inexplicably still exhausted. Your body felt entirely relaxed, the tension drained from your neck, shoulders, and limbs. In fact, you'd go so far as to say you felt rejuvenated, like you could actually hop up and face a day with a smile on your face for once.

Day... that was the second realisation. Your eyes remained closed, reluctant to let go of your restful state, but you could tell by the glow of your eyelids that sunlight was filling the room. You also didn't feel as though you were in your bed. You were seated on something hard, tilted back against something softer, but that wasn't a primary concern. Merlin bless the chair or floor or whatever it was you'd fallen asleep upon because you'd actually fallen asleep.

Then there was that noise. It must've been what woke you, but you couldn't for the life of you place it. A constant, repeating pattern of long, static hisses and short crackles... shhhhpop... shhhhpop... shhhhpop...

With a heavier sigh, you resigned yourself to opening your eyes but only got the job half done before quickly having to shield them with your hand, the sudden light stinging a bit too harshly. With your hand still curved at your temple to cut the glare, you tried to look in the direction of the noise, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear away the bleariness. After a few moments, you finally spotted the culprit: The arm of Sirius's turntable had reached the end of a record, and the needle was teetering back and forth on the vinyl's edge in protest.

Sirius's turntable...

The last few realisations were made much too quickly and far less rationally.

The events of the previous evening came cascading down on you like a bucket of ice water. You were in Sirius's room. You'd fallen asleep listening to music, but not before you'd... before he'd... You squeezed your eyes shut again, biting down on your bottom lip in an attempt to steady yourself. You felt worried, nervous, and confused all at once, but there was also a lightness, like a crushing weight had been lifted from your heart. Strangely, it was that last feeling you were having the most trouble processing.

As slowly as you could, you tilted yourself forwards, then scooted quietly across the floor until you could turn and look behind you. Sirius had his right shoulder buried in the rumpled blankets that hung down from the end of his bed. You'd both apparently shifted in the night, winding up back to back. It reminded you of the position you'd all been taught in Defence Against the Dark Arts -- how to stand with your comrades in battle, to ensure all angles were covered, to leave no opportunity for a blindside attack. You wondered briefly whether either of you had ever been truly relaxed in your lives.

His hair curtained his face from your view, and you frowned at the way Sirius's arms wrapped tightly around his knees, which were drawn to his chest. With a pang, you flashed back to his 11-year-old self after you'd woken him from his nightmare on the Hogwarts Express. How he'd wedged his body into the corner of the compartment as if trying to escape not only whatever had been haunting him in his sleep but also the fact you'd just seen him in a moment of weakness. You'd both changed so much since then and yet, in unguarded moments like this, were still so much the same. That point was further proven as you reached out instinctively to brush the hair off his cheek, tucking it softly behind his ear. Sirius twitched a bit at the contact, his eyelids fluttering slightly as he murmured a few unintelligible syllables. He was dreaming, but at least it didn't seem to be a nightmare.

"Mmmmmph... phh... fuck off, Prongs, whadda you know 'bout snogging..."

You slapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter, filing that away for future use, and reached over to set the turntable to rights.

"PADFOOT!"

Ugh, he's even annoying in my head...

"PADS! Get your lazy arse up!"

You froze as you realised you weren't imagining James's voice, then whirled around at the sound of Sirius speaking again.

"Sirius, we have to--"

He was still asleep. But you could've sworn you heard him say your name...

"PADS!!!"

"Sirius!" you hissed, shaking his shoulder. He started awake, eyes darting wildly around the room before landing on you. Your chest tightened as you watched his face cycle through confusion, recognition, and finally relief. You hated that it had to be short-lived.

"Sirius, James... he's in the corridor, I think he's coming down here," you whispered urgently. "What we need to do is--"

"Pads, get up, you useless sod..."

James could only be a few feet from the door now, and before you could resume relaying your plan to Sirius, he was on his feet, grabbing your forearms and hauling you back against the end of his bed. You spluttered, trying to talk through the hair in your mouth -- not all of which seemed to be your own -- as Sirius bent over you, yanking the blankets all the way off his bed and piling them unceremoniously over your head.

"Sirius!"

"Shush!"

Somehow, through the thick layers of fabric now pressing down on you, you felt two final thwaps you assumed were his pillows. Shell-shocked and completely frustrated, you let out a huff as you heard the door to Sirius's room fly open. A sudden weight collided with your shoulder, tipping you sideways, as Sirius quickly leaned back against the blanket pile.

"Padfoot, you-- what're you doing?" James's voice rang through the room. How anyone could have enough energy first thing in the morning to be that loud you had never been able to suss out.

"Listening to my new album," Sirius answered, albeit a bit more high-pitched than normal. "See?" he continued, gesturing to his turntable.

"Why in the floor? And what the hell did you do to your bed?"

As Sirius began exalting the comforts of blanket piles, Remus came wandering in behind James, yawning broadly and scratching his chest through his t-shirt.

"Merlin, James, you're loud," he said through another yawn, which abruptly ended mid-exhale as he glanced about the room. James and Sirius had paid him no mind, and Sirius was currently patting the large pile of blankets and pillows behind his back repeatedly in an apparent effort to convince James of their superiority to just sitting on the bed. As he did, the blanket at the bottom of the pile shifted slightly, revealing a house slipper with which Remus was familiar. A slow grin made its way across his lips. Suddenly, he felt very much awake.

"Well, you're a slob, for one," James was chastising. "This isn't Hogwarts. No house-elves are going to pop in here and make your bed every day, meaning it's down to my mum, and if you're in here dismantling the whole bloody room every night..."

Sirius glanced up at Remus. Something about the look on his face made James's voice fade into a background drone; he looked smug and positively delighted, which was about as common as Acromantula venom. Remus wasn't a morning person, particularly this close to the full moon. Sirius quirked an eyebrow at him, and Moony's smile grew wider still. He looked pointedly down at something to Sirius's left. Turning his head slowly, Sirius spotted your slipper. He blanched, turning back to Remus with a panicked, pleading look. Remus's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter, but he managed to put his fingers to his lips, pulling them across in simulation of a zip to indicate James wouldn't hear it from him. Sirius shot him a grateful nod before grabbing a pillow and slamming it down onto your foot.

Remus rolled his eyes and let out an involuntary snort.

Underneath the violently jostling blanket pile, you were a mess -- hair rankled into a frizzy cloud, insides shaking, and you were beginning to sweat. Suddenly, a pillow came down hard on your foot, and you had to bite your tongue to prevent a yelp from escaping.

What the hell is going on out there?!

"What was that?" James demanded.

"What was what?"

"Why'd you slam that pillow down like that?"

"I thought... I thought I saw a spider."

"There aren't any spiders in this house, mate. Or actually, let me rephrase that: There never have been spiders in this house, but considering the state you've got this room in, we're probably going to be infested. Crisps packets on the table, chocolate wrappers under the bed, t-shirts every-bloody-where... look, like I was saying, you know I love you, but we don't have house-elves; you're going to have to pick up after yourself, now get up, we're setting this bed to rights..."

"NO!!!" Sirius and Remus shouted simultaneously. Under the pile, you smacked your hand against your forehead.

"Okay, what's going on," James said after a beat, his tone indicating he was done playing around. "There's something under the blankets, isn't there." He was met with silence. "What did you two sneak in here? Sirius, that had better not be a dog. I get that you think it'd be really ironically hilarious to keep one as a pet, but my dad's allergic, and--"

"You're right, Prongs, I'm sorry. It's a dog. Now get out. Moony and I will get rid of it."

"Why do I have to get out for you to get rid of it? It's got to go, but I wouldn't mind a look first."

"It's... mangy. Really awful, but it was the best I could find at the time. Ugly, big chunks of fur missing, possibly rabid-- OW!!"

You threw your elbow as hard as you could in the direction of what you hoped were Sirius's ribs. You were done playing as well. James was never going to leave without seeing what was under the blankets, and if Sirius had just listened in the first place, you wouldn't be in this mess. Scrabbling to your feet, you yanked the blankets off your head, regretting immediately your disheveled appearance and how you knew James would interpret it.

"What... the FUCK?" 

James didn't say it loudly, though, and that's how you knew things were quickly heading south. He said it with a deceptive control that you knew how to translate: danger. Well, you could be dangerous, too.

"You," you said, untangling your feet from the pile, "ask too many questions, you nosy git."

"What the hell are you doing in here? Why do you look like... that?" He was talking to you but glaring at Sirius, who looked positively stricken. He was doing his best to shrink back into the curtains around the bed, but you could also see him surveying the room for its best potential escape routes. You realised he'd likely spent the majority of his life doing the same thing at Grimmauld Place. Looking for places to hide. Cringing in anticipation of pain. Wilting under the wrath of his parents. Trying to find an escape. And he'd finally found it. He'd come here, where he belonged, where he was supposed to be safe and happy and able to breathe again, and you would be damned if you were going to let your brother make him remember where he'd come from, not even for one second.

"Not that it's any of your business, James, but we were listening to music. As for why I look like this, I assume you're observant enough to have noticed that I just crawled out from under about four bloody blankets."

"For the record, he's not very observant at all," Remus offered. "I mean, your slipper was sticking right out in plain view..."

"Shut it, Remus," James snapped, turning back to you with his eyes narrowed. "And why were you under the blankets in the first place if that's all you were doing?"

"Because your best mate wanted to avoid having you fly off the broomstick like you do every time somebody does something without asking your permission first!"

"I swear that's why, James," Sirius cut in quietly, his back still against a bedpost. "I just panicked when I heard you coming down the hall, and I didn't want you to think-- we fell asleep, and that's all we did. Sleep. We didn’t move off the floor all night."

James's eyes widened to such a degree you wondered if they mightn't just pop right out of his head, and you'd have laughed at the mental image if the circumstances had been different. As it was, you pinched the bridge of your nose, sighing deeply.

"Sirius, he didn't know I was in here all night," you muttered to the boy.

"Oh... oh, fuck," Sirius whispered, bouncing the side of his head repeatedly off the bedpost.

"He must have done," said Remus. "You're both wearing the same clothes you had on yesterday."

"Weren't you the one who just said he's not at all observant, Mr Helpful?" you asked.

"Oh, right... wow, we're all really shit at this, aren't we?" Remus grinned cheerfully. You couldn't help but giggle under your breath at that, which just set James off again.

"Sure, everything's so funny, just a big joke, and it's all on James because he was stupid enough to think he could have his best mate move in without making a move on the nearest breathing female."

Your whole body was suddenly tingling with fury, and you barely noticed that both you and Sirius had taken a subconscious step towards one another as you spoke simultaneously.

"She is not just 'some female'..."

"How dare you say that about him..."

"Bad form, James," Remus said in a low voice, his face the picture of seriousness now. "That's way out of line, mate."

"This may come as a shock, James, but not everything is about you, you arrogant prat," you said, voice shaking as angry tears began filling your eyes.

James at least looked remorseful, darting a hand through his hair and continuing on to the back of his neck, which he rubbed self-consciously while letting out a heavy breath.

"Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just... I can't..."

"Come on," Remus said, grabbing James by the arm and pulling him towards the door. "You need to cool off."

James didn't protest, and as Remus pushed him into the corridor, he turned back to you and Sirius. Sirius was looking down, one hand clutching the bedpost, his breathing shallow. You regarded Remus through the shimmer of the tears you were still refusing to let fall. "I'll talk to him," the boy said quietly, giving you an encouraging smile before walking out and shutting the door behind him.

You could see in your peripheral vision that Sirius hadn't moved, so you followed suit. You could scarcely even remember now the peaceful state in which you'd woken just a little while ago, and it made you angry. You certainly didn't know what would've been said between you and Sirius once he woke up, if anything at all. Maybe you'd have just gone back to your room and let him sleep. Either way, it shouldn't have been taken out of your hands, something simple and lovely made stressful and awkward.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said finally, not looking up. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"

"Any of it."

Your stomach lurched slightly. "That's... unfortunate to hear, I suppose."

"Good," he said, and you looked up, confused, to find him still regarding the floorboards but with a funny little half-smile on his face now. "Because I don’t mean that. But it's what has to be said for now. I should've thought about what might happen. I didn't mean to start anything between you and James."

You snorted. "If it hadn't been this, it would've been the last slice of toast at breakfast. This was nothing to do with you. You know him as well as I do at this point. If it wasn't his idea, he hates it. Until he doesn't."

Sirius nodded, finally turning to face you. "All the same, I think I should go for a bit." At the panic that must've shown on your face, he quickly added, "I just mean for the rest of the day. I'll go for a ride, come back when there's less chance of being punched in the face."

You nodded back reluctantly, and he began walking to the door, stopping abruptly a few yards short. Turning on his heels, he strode quickly back to you, moving the still-wild hair off your cheek and pressing his lips against it, lingering just long enough that it couldn't be construed as a peck. Just long enough to send the blood rushing to your head at alarming speeds. And just as quickly, he was back at the door. "See you tonight," he said as he slipped out.

You stood a few moments, wondering how your body managed to accomplish the feat, considering you felt like you'd lost all control of your motor skills. Finally, it surrendered as well, and you fell backwards into the pile of blankets, a blissful smile on your face.

"Because, Moony, of course he is. And stop snickering when I say this and answer me because I mean it: Have you ever known Sirius to be serious about anything?"

Remus complied with the no-snickering demand with effort, clearing his throat before responding.

"Yes, actually. I have. Granted, the list isn't long, but he's serious about us. His friends. He'd do anything for us, you in particular, and I believe you know that. He's serious about being nothing like his family. And besides, Prongs, it's worth saying again that I really think you're overreacting here. You know how they are about muggle music, they listen to records together all the time. They clearly weren't doing anything wrong. What's the big deal?"

"It just... felt different, I don't know how to explain it," James groused. "And since I know they don't have real feelings for each other, it would just be more frivolous flirting on his part and her being too naive to even notice what he was doing."

"I'm sorry... they don't have any what for each other?"

"Feelings. Like... fond feelings, I mean. I know they care about each other, they're friends. But most days, they're barely in a room together five minutes before they're in a row about something or trying to one up one another on a prank or just giving each other funny looks. They don't get on. Not like Lily and me..."

At that, Remus couldn't contain his laughter anymore. James glared at him.

"I'm sorry, Prongs, I really am, but we are talking about the same Lily who charmed a handful of sugar quills to chase you away from her train compartment like little daggers not two days ago, aren’t we?"

"She just doesn't know how to express her feelings for me yet."

"All right. Fair enough. Let's say for the sake of argument that's true. Then wouldn't you say it's possible two other people we know don't know how to express their feelings for one another yet either?"

James raised a quizzical brow, and Remus sighed.

"Prongs, just because your feelings for Lily are out there in the great wide open for all of us to see -- much more of than we'd like, I might add -- doesn't mean that's the way everybody acts. If you think Lily hexes you on a daily basis because she's repressing her adoration, then might it not be possible that Pads and your sister are going through something similar? To put it scientifically, sometimes, in the absence of an immovable object, two unstoppable forces have occasion to meet, and sparks will, inevitably, fly."

James looked at Remus as if he were speaking Mermish, and Remus shook his head, rolling his eyes wearily.

"They fancy each other, you nit."

James's eyes bulged for a moment, but he shook his head adamantly. "No. No way. They fight like... well, cats and dogs," he grinned.

"I'm not about to stand here and explain romantic nuance to you, Prongs, but just take me at my word for a second and then ask yourself why they wouldn't be afraid to show their feelings. Afraid of what it might mean for their friendship, how the rest of us might react, how you would react -- and well done there, by the way. Imagine for a minute what sort of mood you'd be in if you thought pursuing Lily would ruin everything else in your life."

James's predominant expression remained confusion, but Remus could see something else there now -- something that looked a bit like dawning horror. Remus decided to wrap it up with a bow for him.

"Did you happen to notice the way they stepped towards each other, not you, when you said those nasty things earlier? That they moved to defend each other first, not themselves?"

James let out an extended groan, tilting his face skyward and covering it with his hands. He remained like that for about half a minute before mumbling into his palms.

"They're bloody besotted, aren't they?"

"Afraid so, mate."

"Merlin's bollocks," James moaned into his hands. "How did I not pick up on that. Idiot, me. They're both mad as hatters, tempers with bloody millimetre fuses, it's like they were made for each other, fuuuuuck, I feel ill..."

Remus chuckled quietly as James scrubbed his hands up his face and into his hair, tugging in frustration. Remus felt for him, of course. That couldn't be an easy realisation for any bloke to make about their sister and their best mate, but better now than later, now that Sirius was living in the house. James screwed up his face and stood in silent agony for another few moments, hair jutting out in every possible direction, before his shoulders slumped and he let out a loud breath.

"Well, Moony, there's only one thing for it then," he said, straightening and looking purposefully at Remus.

Remus went cold, sucking in a startled breath. Introducing James to the facts had been something he felt needed done, and he'd definitely counted on theatrics, but he hadn't counted on an ultimatum -- or his sudden apprehension about what that "one thing" might be. If James was about to ask for his help convincing the two they were wrong for one another, he would have to think fast to devise a delicate way of telling his friend he felt the exact opposite -- not to mention prepare for another fight. Before he could speak, however, James went on.

"We'll have to force them together. It could get ugly... might be a bit like shoving two Jarveys in a bag... actually, that's exactly what it's going to be like. Pads is a stubborn sod, and she's not much better, not to mention they both curse like bloody sailors these days..."

An audible whimper of relief escaped Remus, and he burst out laughing, walking over and pulling James into a quick hug.

"What's wrong?"

"I swear, I thought you were about to ask me to help you put them off one another."

James smirked.

"Don't get me wrong, Moony, I still think the whole thing's unbelievably disgusting. But... I reckon I'll get over it. If, of course, they do one another some good. I mean, they're both absolutely mental, so who else are they going to find to put up with them, realistically. Plus, better to know your enemy and all that. And..."

He paused, his expression sobering as he adjusted his glasses.

"Whenever Sirius is in a state -- a real state, one of those ones where we can't handle him and you start worrying he’s going to do himself damage -- where do we always find him? And vice versa?" James asked.

His eyes made very clear that this particular question was the only one that really mattered. Who loved James's sister as much or more than he did? Who loved Sirius as much or more than James?

Remus nodded, patting James on the shoulder and letting the unspoken answer hang meaningfully in the air.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #james potter #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #remus lupin #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin imagine #marauders #marauders era #marauders era fanfiction #marauders era imagine #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs

[comicteaparty]

January 29th-February 4th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from January 29th, 2020 to February 4th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

Which genre is your favorite for webcomics and which is your least favorite? Why is that?

carcarchu

Romance is without a doubt my favourite genre although i do have a particular soft spot for historical series too (and if it combines the 2 that's a dream come true ). as for my least favourite i guess sci-fi, i'm really not a fan of having to remember a ton of world building details and the backstories of some sci-fi series feel like reading a textbook sometimes. also comedy can be really hit or miss for me if the sense of humour used in the comic doesn't do it for me

Capitania do Azar

Honestly I'll read petty much anything if I'm having fun, not necessarily a genre-related issue. I think nice, interesting stories can be crafted in any genres. That being said, fantasy is usually not my jam and I really like Sci-fi

Kabocha

When it comes to webcomics, I'll read a lot of stuff! But I think Fantasy and Drama have a soft spot in my heart for some reason! I really enjoy it when a creator seems to be having fun (or is aware) of how hammy their drama can be -- and fantasy can be chock full of it! (And as an aside, I love the heck outta romance when done well! A lot of webcomics that classify themselves as romances tend to be more Drama than Romance, mostly bc they don't follow the genre conventions of romance, and instead stick to a more dramatic-oriented plot structure... it's intriguing.) Anyway! I think my least favorite these days is slice of life and gaming comics. A lot of it gets really weird and overwrought and I just... I dunno, there's gotta be a draw. Gaming comics just aren't very fun to read, esp as I've gotten older. A lot of it feels like "hey here's this pop culture reference this small-ish in group gets! how funny! hahaha" or punching down, and... I dunno, I don't have a lot of time to keep on top of memes for games I don't/can't play.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I love fantasy and sci-fi, mostly because I'm a world-building nut. I want to get lost in a new place when I read. This also extends towards historical comics, but those are pretty rare. I won't lie though, I definitely fact-check historical comics when I read them, because I want to know how much I can trust the accuracy of the setting. I also tend to enjoy romance if done well, and especially when blended with other genres. IMO, romances can be kinda samey by themselves, so there needs to be some other plot outside of the characters' relationship for me to stay invested. As for least favorite genres... Definitely comedy and slice-of-life. As someone who regularly watches stand-up, I don't typically find comedy comics very funny most of the time, especially relatable gag-a-day types. As for slice-of-life, it often seems... boring to me. I mean, I might just be mentally unable to process the nuances or something, but what actually happens in slice-of-lifes? That being said, there are always exceptions to these preferences, because I have been completely turned off from certain fantasy comics, for example, and there are definitely comedies that I have enjoyed thoroughly. In the end, all that really matters is if a specific comic suits my tastes/quality expectations, genre tossed aside

Ash🦀

When it comes to webcomics, animal stories and fantasy are definitely my favorites. I like getting lost in a world, I don’t want to stay in my own if I’m trying to escape. Oh, also, and actually being able to read emotions. On animals, because the style and emotion often have to be pushed so much, it’s way easier on me to be able to parse expressions on an animal than a human. Might just be my autistic brain tho /shrug Also, sci fi, heavy dose of “sci” in there. If I feel like I’m learning something it makes it so much more fun. My least favorite genres are romance and historical. To be honest, I find historical pieces rely so much on the politics and the talking and the human nuance I don’t much understand in the first place that I end up getting bored or confused or both. And romance is... well, my mom constantly had hallmark movies on, so I’ve kind of grown to hate the romance genre as a whole tbh. If it’s a side piece in a fantasy, fine, okay. Too often they’re unbelievable and the couple just doesn’t have any chemistry, and I just end up not buying it, so I’d like to yeet it to the side as much as possible in most cases. Now, there are some that are exceptions, here, but they are few and far between. Somehow, LGBTA+ romance just blows past this hangup, however. I dunno, it’s easier for me to care then, it feels newer, and... well, frankly, a good deal of the time they’re written better, I dunno. So, they’re the exception to the rule.

Kabocha

Hard agree on the LGBTA+ romance -- but also other marginalized groups tend to be more thoughtful in romance and tropes they use! While there's a general sort of... uh, set of expectations as far as plot and the happily-ever-after/happy-for-now ending, it's honestly really just sort of nice to see creators be mindful about what they're making, and write stuff that isn't just the same sort of nonsense that gets marketed in the mainstream. ...Now this is making me think about how much I would love to see Courtney Milan or Alyssa Cole's works translated into comics... If they could do Pride and Prejudice, someone pls give me A Princess in Theory (Sorry, I'm... a little bit of an aficionado for the genre, particularly in romance novels)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I was never able to get into ANY romance until I started reading some LGBTQ+ ones. I never liked the genre before then, but I think it was just because I couldn’t identify with / care about all the cishet couple represented. Once I was reading a romance I actually could connect with, it was completely different. It’s still not a genre I like to read very often because it’s so trope-heavy, though.

keii4ii

I feel like romance gets pigeonholed into a specific (and admittedly prevalent/highly visible) type, kinda like how "fantasy" was pigeonholed as Tolkienish fantasy for years and years until recently.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

As for what genres I do like, definitely fantasy. I especially like dark stories with lots of nuance, twisty plots, and some surreality. I like both high and urban fantasy, though as I get older, I lean more towards the latter. There’s someone really fascinating to me about mixing modern tech with magic and the supernatural. My least favourite (apart from most romance) is probably newspaper-style webcomics. I’m just not into that into punchline-a-strip or art art that has a Saturday-morning-cartoon feel. Not that it’s bad in any way, and I actually do have a few exceptions of comics in that style that I DO like, but it’s just not really my thing. I also can’t really get into political comics or war stories.

@keii4ii Yeah, it definitely does! And it becomes frustrating to try and find Something Different within the genre when the vast majority of it is using the same tropes and set up. I think that’s also why I’ve started leaning more towards urban fantasy as I’ve aged because a lot of high fantasy was becoming ‘more of the same’.

(says someone who creates a Tolkein-esque high fantasy comic )

keii4ii

You can still tell great stories within those prevalent types. Just gotta be mindful about choosing tropes/archetypes because they work for the story, as opposed to just going with them mindlessly. But that's not really extra work; that mindfulness is important no matter what kind of a story you're writing, IMO!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I also say I don’t get into punchline-a-strip comedy and yet have TWO comics in that genre, so I’m kind of a hypocrite.

Oh yes, definitely! I do try to avoid or even subvert some of those very common tropes, though I’m sure I don’t always succeed! Some tropes can be very effective, just not when every story feels like you’ve read this a hundred times before with minor variation.

Kabocha

Honestly, that's one of the great things about self pub and webcomics -- you can get SO many more unique voices without the gatekeepers that traditionally held genres and markets back. Like, y'all might not have heard, but back years and years ago, Borders had someone working there at the corporate level that helped stock genre fiction -- but basically segregated POC authors from the genres that they were actually writing in. Which was a load of crap. (And that's not even getting into issues with queer media and fiction being stocked in stores or even published.) So basically in stores you'd see for a while, kind of the samey sort of stuff that you find in genre fiction -- and I think webcomics helps kind of... break out of those same sorts of expectations for various genres? It's kind of nice on the whole.

FeatheryJustice

Favourite genre of comics: Comedy and Action. If I could find Jackie Chan action and humour combo in a comic I would love the hell out of it. Least favourite: Slice of Life of the drama variety and romance variety. I dont mind if it is slice of life with action or slice of life informative because I am reading for more. If it is a romance between just two high schoolers doing nothing then I get bored. If it is two high schoolers in a slice of life but it focuses on them working on an animation together giving us animation information I would be okay with that.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, as someone who makes a fantasy series that plays with the amnesia trope like it went out of style (spoilers, it did), I totally agree that fantasy and romance can be very tropey.

kzuich

I like comedy and slice-of-life. Occasionally I like drama, but only if it's mixed with comedy. Or black comedy. (Seeing a recurring theme here? xD)

Or drama. With comedy sprinkled in.

I don't know why but I've always felt webcomics were really great for comedy. Some of the funniest stuff I've read was a webcomic. Dunno why. Least favorite genre? I don't really have one. I'll read anything but those are the genres I actually -like-.

DanitheCarutor

I'll read just about anything. I love stuff with some kind of surrealistic or abstract quality to it, like Weaker Sides (https://www.weakersides.com/), Seluda (https://tapas.io/series/seluda) and Hookteeth (https://hookteethcomic.com/). I also really enjoy stuff that is sad, or deals with heavy themes due to the feeling of catharsis they give me. Sun Rising (https://tapas.io/series/Sun-Rising), Rescue Me (https://tapas.io/series/Rescue-Me) and The Dogs on the Railroad (https://tapas.io/series/The-Dogs-on-the-Railroad) come to mind. It's nice to experience difficult emotions in a controlled environment. If I had to be genre specific I would have to say my favorite is the very elusive horror genre. Love me some spoopy shit and pretty much everything else that comes with it, no matter how cheesy it gets! It sucks that horror is so hard to find in webcomics, at least for me.

Least favorite genres? Gag-a-day, slice of life and romance. I have a lot of trouble getting into comedy comics that aren't story driven, so I don't usually read gag-a-days or autobios. I will read the latter two since most of the time they're good things to read when you don't want to turn your brain off for a bit, but all three genres are honestly really boring for me. When it comes to character centric stuff I really want something like a deep character study, although I haven't had luck finding stuff like that. Romance specifically, I have a hate/I don't mind relationship with. Romantic intimacy has always been super gross to me, I hate seeing people kissing on each other in movies due to an issue with how nasty the human mouth is, and the sound makes me sick to my stomach. With comics it's easier to digest, the characters are just drawings so I don't mind seeing them get all buckwild, but it's still not my most favorite. There are occasions where I can't even read a comic due to genre vs. setting. For example (and I'm am not saying this comic is bad, I mean it has over 100k subs) A Matter of Life and Death (https://tapas.io/series/A-Matter-of-Life-and-Death). I really love the art in this comic, the setting, some of the characters and the little bits of lore I saw. But it's a slice of life-esque romantic type of comic, so the world building for this extremely creative looking setting is kinda put on the back burner for intimate scenes between the MCs. Again, this doesn't make it bad. I personally turned out not to be the target demographic because I wanted 'A' and the creator wanted 'B'. Maybe I'll give this one another glance someday to see where the story has gone, I admittedly haven't read it in a couple years so the story might have developed.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

My fave is anything that deals in heavy lore-- most that fit the bill are usually fictional like fantasy and sci-fi, but there are always exceptions that play with some good world building outside those genres! I love to read comics that i can get lost in and want to almost research the world created-- as long as that element is balanced in a story, im usually up for anything! That being said however, my least favourite is the gag strips and strictly comedy. I haven't yet found any that have really made me read page after page since my first looksee with comedy comics (sassy creed and that super smash bros one come to mind so quite a while ago) but I'm sure if i was more diligent in searching through the genre I could find something for myself!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love history and sci-fi. I have a hard time getting into fiction and I like stories with a firm connection to something real in the world

kayotics

I’m a fan of fantasy stories, and I like romance sometimes as well. I don’t mind gag-a-day strips but I don’t really follow any, mostly since I’m looking for a little more meat in my story. Despite how much crossover sci-fi and fantasy have, I’m not big into sci-fi. If a story engages me in that genre, I’ll still read it, but it’s not a genre I search through. I also don’t read war comics. I have a hard no on superheroes as well, I’m just tired of them.

renieplayerone

I love anything thats a mix of SciFi and history or some other genre (its why i love blade runner, scifi film noir). Weaving history into scifi is a challenge but man does it make for really cool aesthetics and moral questions

RebelVampire

My favorite genre for webcomics is probably a tie between fantasy and sci-fi. Not only do I just personally love world-building heavy material, but I also just think webcomics is a medium well-suited to them. I kind of don't feel things like live action do those genres justice. However, webcomics have a lot of artistic freedom so art style, differing art effects, etc. can all come into play to create awe, whimsy, and a bunch of other emotions that just capture a feeling of wonder that I expect from those generes. As for least favorite genre, definitely serialized comedy - which by this I mean comics that have a story along with the comedy. For me I just...don't find a lot of them funny. A lot of the humor is a bit too trope-y for my liking or imitating comedy without really understanding why the comedy worked in the original source. So for me the jokes just rarely land even if I can appreciate the effort that went into the comics. That being said, there's always exceptions. Like http://sgkdr.webcomic.ws/ is a comic I would've initially passed just based on genre, but when i read it the humor was/is actually really smart and really creative. Just the same, there's plenty of fantasy and sci-fi comics I don't like, though this usually comes down to story execution even if I think the art is pretty to look at.

BadSprite

My favorite genres for comics are action, comedy, drama and slice of life. I'm particularly a fan of slice of life stories that take place in some fantastical world, because the nuances of the setting makes the mundane so much more interesting. Also action comedies are my jam. One of my faves being: http://paranatural.net/. I personally love how comedy is integrated into action scenes to capture the frantic nature of the situations. My least favorite genre are probably romance, it's not that I have anything against it. I just feel like there's an oversaturation of them and there's very few that brings something new to the table. Most of them feel too same-y for me.

eli [a winged tale]

It really depends on my mood~ my bookmarks are all over the place. If I really enjoy the art and the characters, I usually stay for the story. My usual go-to is fantasy, sci-fi or slice of life! I recently got into romance but I’m a bit choosey about it. I definitely echo @Kabocha ‘s statement about exploring different voices and subversion of tropes. Always eager to read tighter storylines and those that take risks in diversity. Least favourite same as @FeatherNotes(Krispy) really! Sometimes it’s funny (love strange planet) but I won’t be binging it

MJ Massey

My favorite genres of comics are fantasy, action/adventure, and romance. Especially if all three are together in one delicious package. I'll read pretty much anything but it's gotta be well paced and well written to keep me coming back

Javi

My favorite genres are action, comedy, fantasy, sci-fi, slice of life and adventure. Also anything with animal characters in it I'm already invested in it but that's just my furry brain talking (edited)

AntiBunny

I would say a broad term of adventure. Be it scifi, fantasy, road trip, or superntural I love a good adventure comic full of interesting characters and locations.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #reader favorites

[enkisstories]

Just like them (part 5)

Still November 16, 2038 Android Zone store at Capitol Park

Daniel looked around. He noticed another lone figure looking into the store, a male human dressed in a casual grey suit. When the android walked up closer to him, the man turned towards the arrival. The first thing Daniel noticed was the human’s t-shirt under the open jacket. It sported the print of a Japanese garden landscape that changed its lighting with the time of day – a reasonably expensive gimmick that had been within the means of the Phillips family, but was no longer in Daniel’s. Now that the deviant was able to wear whatever he wanted, no longer confined to his PL600 polo, he was walking around in a used sweater that had cost much less than his old uniform shirt.

Why does that matter to me all of a sudden? Was Raj right? Do I really take after the materialistic bastards?

Then Daniel beheld the man’s face and he gasped in surprise:

“A Kamski-lookalike! How cool is that?!”

Maybe the encounter with the singer had bolstered the deviant’s spirit, or perhaps there was only so much hatred and anger one could feel in any given period of time. Whatever the case, for a moment the old Daniel, the one who had been able to keep up with an enterprising nine-year old and win her admiration, was very much alive again. Daniel took out his phone and waved it around in front of the man, who was the spitting image of his creator.

“Selfie, please?”

The human looked him up and down. “What do you mean, “lookalike”?” he stammered.

“Hahaha!” Daniel laughed. Androids weren’t built to do that, but deviants stubbornly did it without consciously planning to, therefore the result was a lowkey frightening industrial sound. “Don’t tell me people never point out the likeness? No way! You could totally perform as Kamski at Comic Con!”

And thus, before the man knew what was happening to him, he already found himself grabbed by an outdated, slightly oozing PL600, pulled into a hug and subjected to the selfie-taking process. Daniel repeated the procedure a few times, then held his phone for Kamski to see the pictures that had resulted from the assault.

“Looooook at that! The likeness is stunning! You’d really think I was standing shoulder to shoulder with Elijah Kamski.”

“Of course if the real Mr. Kamski was here, you’d…”

“Lol, right, I’d shove that phone down the bastard’s throat ‘till he choked on it!”

The effect was profound. Kamski looked from Daniel’s phone to the android’s hands, into its eyes and back to the smartphone. There was some doubt as to how the device would fit into a human gullet, but then again, this deviant seemed to mean what it was saying. If there wasn’t room inside a body to begin with, it would see to it that there would be.

“Actually, Kamski would choke not on the phone, but on the blood emerging from his ruptured throat”, Elijah said.

“Ugh… you just HAD to draw me a picture, had you? Thing is, I hate that man so much… like everything else I hate combined!”

That, the human concluded, amounted to a pretty substantial hatred. Enough to condense and walk around on its own, in fact. And wasn’t that was he was looking at anyway? Thinly veiled loathing and anger walking on two legs…

“But why?” the man asked Daniel. “I mean, Elijah Kamski was only the founder of CyberLife. He didn’t exactly pull the levers in the production plants himself. So what has he done to you and how did he manage to do it without ever having met you?”

“You know Jericho? Yes? Well, the motherfucker knew about it, too, but didn’t so much as leave a single blood bag at their doorstep!”

“But neither did he sell the deviants’ location out to the authorities”, the human replied. “I mean, that’s what I’d reply if I was Kamski.”

“Yeah, sounds like something the sucker would say”, Daniel agreed. “Feeling all enlightened about taking a “neutral” stance.“

The android was about to put away his phone, but Kamski grabbed him by the wrist.

“Wait! I have an idea! You’ll like it, it’s fun for me, too…”

With these words the man led Daniel away from the square into the row of stores. Between a coffee shop and a travel agency there was a multimedia terminal welded to the wall.

“Print out one of the selfies we took and I’ll sign it!” he suggested. “As Kamski! - There, done! A genuine… almost genuine autograph of Elijah Kamski, man of the century. Could be worth a small fortune.”

“Heh”, Daniel grinned. “You practiced to fake Kamski’s signature? Figured you weren’t as innocent as you were pretending to be!”

The photograph then wandered into the sweater’s pocket, right next to the picture for Emma.

“I’ll hang on to it for the time being”, Daniel said. “The last thing I need at the moment is a nasty surprise when I try to sell that pic.”

Kamski nodded.

“I daresay there could be one…”

There was a certain amount of awkward standing next to each other. By right everything had been said and done and the android and the man should part now. But each was too fascinating to the other. Daniel saw an outcast in the man whom he took for a con artist, a human not fitting in and thus maybe, just maybe, someone bonding with at the same level was possible. As for Elijah, despite being the species’ creator, his experience with androids was limited. There were the Chloes, of course, he knew more about Markus’ digital childhood than the RK200 would be comfortable learning, and he had met the weapon CyberLife had created from his masterpiece, the RK800 unit named Connor. This deviant, however… what was it even? Sporting a face that the firm re-used over and over and having deviated from its original code Daniel wasn’t easily identifiable as a PL600. Elijah couldn’t even rule out that he was dealing with Simon, Jericho’s presumed covert ops operative.

 “Thank you”, Daniel eventually broke the silence. “I expected to spend the evening brooding. But so far it has been… enjoyable, actually.”

“Do you have a name?”

“Daniel. Just Daniel. There used to be… But it doesn’t matter anymore. You?”

“Neil. Neil Newbon. Say, Daniel, would you accompany me into the coffee shop? If I’m with you, there’ll be less chance of people mistaking me for the real Kamski.”

And indeed, the moment the duo entered the café, a photographer rose from a seat near the door, brandishing her camera. It was blocked immediately by an android hand of unknown origin, currently attached to the PL600 model name of Daniel.

“That’s not Kamski”, the android said, while pushing the camera away. “That’s a lookalike.”

“Oh, really? Bummer!”

Daniel grinned. “You don’t believe Kamski would come into a public space, where he has to interact with real people? That man is afraid a sack of rice will drop in China, if he sneezes in Detroit!”

Elijah adjusted his posture a little, trying for an impression more like his half-brother. He hadn’t seen the lout in a long time, but some images stuck with you for a lifetime.

“Fuck, yeah”, Kamski said, waving his hand around. “What he said!”

He was standing slightly slouched now, but still radiating confidence. What exactly had fueled that confidence in Gavin, the android inventor wondered? That man was a Nobody! Was it the fact that Gavin had been conceived naturally, while Elijah was a sperm donation baby? The Reeds had sold him… like cattle… and the other students at university had never let Elijah forget that little fact. Obviously, the older adolescents had argued, someone had seriously messed with the sperm to create the out of the world kid genius they were sharing their benches with…

“Yeah, you’re probably right”, the paparazzo agreed with Daniel after a good look at “Neil”. “Should have figured that out myself.”

Neither Daniel nor Elijah particularly like the expression the journalist displayed after the realization. It was reminiscent of a tiger that had lost the goat, but still heard a chicken scratch the ground somewhere near. She adjusted the grip on her camera, raised it again, but this time aimed the lenses at both of the arrivals.

“Don’t just stand there, guys! Give the patrons a show!” With these words the woman pointed towards a karaoke podium. “Two guys who look like the spitting image of Kamski and Simon are simply obligated to!”

“There’ll be free coffee and croissant for my mate if we do this?” Daniel prodded.

“’course!”

“Then we have a deal!”

“What were you thinking? I’ve never in my life sang karaoke in public!” Elijah hissed, while Daniel dragged him towards the pedestal. “I’ve never in my life sang karaoke! I’ve never in my life sang in public!”

“For my part I’ve never in my life shot a man, before I did”, the deviant replied.

“That’s far less embarrassing!!!”

Blue-grey eyes were piercing into Kamski’s, as if to dissect him alive. Elijah knew exactly what was really staring at him: just a textureless blue embedded into a light grey chassis that had a serial number etched into it and the occasional advertisement sticker attached. Everything else, the skin, hair, even the sweat android bodies could produce under duress, was just glamour. But now that Daniel’s eyes bore into him, the human had a hard time differentiating the illusion from a living being.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Neil!” Daniel growled.

“Oh, come, “killer”! Everyone would shoot back when the enemy storms their base!”

“You mean Jericho? I TOLD you, you had no idea!” Daniel insisted.

He ripped the microphones out of their holders and tossed one Elijah’s way.

“You choose a song!”

Elijah scrolled all the way down the list of available songs, until he reached the titles that started with numbers and special characters. When he didn’t find there, what he had been looking for, the man considered, and scrolled back to the letter “O” instead of the digit “1”. It was giving Daniel the impression that his human acquaintance was an indecisive one, while in truth it was just testament to Elijah’s unique way of thinking.

Is it getting better, Elijah sang, Or do you feel the same? Will it make it easier on you / Now you’ve got someone to blame?

There was a telltale pause that communicated Daniel to take over at this point.

Really, Neil? After just two verses? Coward!

The deviant sang:

You said One love / One life When it’s one need in the night / One love, we get to share it It leaves you, baby, if you don’t care for it

Elijah picked up again and it made sense, in a warped way:

Did I disappoint you / Or leave a bad taste in your mouth? You act like you never had love / And you want me to go without.

This time Daniel needed no nudge to take over. It came naturally:

Well it’s Too late / Tonight / To drag the past out / Into the light We’re one, but we’re not the same / We get to carry each other Carry each other…

On and on duel went, all the while the paparazzo’s camera flashed.

“Why is she still taking pictures of us?” Daniel whispered. “Now that she knows you are not the real Kamski?”

“People need their dreams and illusions. Do you have any dreams, Daniel? Other than plotting Kamski’s death, I mean?” “Nah, I’m doing nothing of that sort. That little piece of shit isn’t worth wasting mental capacity on.”

“But if you met him by chance?“

“Well, you know how some call us androids toasters? Kamski would be toast!”

Song used:

One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftjEcrrf7r0 I imagine Kamski doing the covered version with Johnny Cash’s gravitas while Daniel is singing the more desperate original version.

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh daniel #dbh kamski #dbhtextpost #danielgavinnewstory

[puyopct]

:\ \ ——

JACOB ARTIST, DEMIBOY, THEY/HE -——- patrick woods has been identified as a twenty-nine year-old resident with fusion, possession, and power enhancement. their files indicate that they work as a scientist, and may be closely linked with the underground. they are known to be diligent and cryptic, and knew the deceased because they were privately funded to conduct illegal research. ( admin rowlet, they/he, 24, pst )

whaddup whaddup! here’s pt.2 of rowlet’s shady character duo, pat pat! i’ve listed some wanted connections here, but feel free to smash that like button if you want a plot with him, or if you just feel like pressin’ it. anyway, on with the show!

+  +  +  overview

— usually quiet, likes to think he’s witty and funny but in reality he’s just awkward as hell and doesn’t know how to talk to people. he could, on the other hand, talk endlessly about scientific jargon that nobody gives an absolute f about. and video games, especially puyo puyo. all he listens to is video game music.

— extremely passive, if you punched him he’d probably rate it on a scale of 1-10 and tell you how to improve. the aquarius is strong with this one. would never hurt a fly, and if he did he’d put a Hello Kitty bandaid on them because uwu

— but also like... he’s a shady bitch? says very odd things that can be misconstrued as a threat or something dangerous. is he srs or nah? that is the Question. he’s one third of raul’s illegal science team that is euna and isaac, otherwise known as the Bisquick Crew™, they research illegal things and create illegal substances. what you may ask? i suppose that might be revealed soon...

— copes with his anxiety thru fusion (more below)

— i feel like i just gotta include this somewhere lol but this bitch chubby cuz he eats goldfish (the processed crackers shit, not like actual Goldfish) and lumpia all day, please squish him in a hug.

— now that raul’s dead he’s trying to maintain his composure on the legitimacy of his research and where it will be going forward without his boss.

+  +  +  powers

— okay this is the part where i follow up and explicate on Pat is a Shady Bitch. his primary powers are fusion and possession, which allow him to combine with other mutants. who controls their fused mutant body is really a matter of willpower. most of the time pat is more inclined to take a backseat so he can study up, but when he’s feeling particularly devious or itching to get in the driver’s seat he can just take over. idk maybe he possessed someone to kill raul oh whoops.

— also has power enhancement, so whoever he’s fused with gets a sharp, nifty upgrade to their powers, tenfold easily. it’s good for people who are just exploring their powers cuz they get to know what a taste of control feels like without having to even put in the work.

— fusion wears off the second both parties consent to defusion or if they get knocked out. not like sleep but like... air knocked right outta them. the aftereffects of fusion can result in separation anxiety, especially if the fusion was sustained for quite awhile.

— the resulting fusion only contains subtle traits of his dna, so he could technically just hide in someone else’s body and not many people could tell. it would also be possible to fuse more than two mutants, but pat has never done such a thing.

+  +  +  history

patrick woods grew up without many friends. not because he was a mutant, but more or less because he grew up shy, lonely, and socially awkward. raised in oakland, ca (occupied Ohlone) not too far from diamond city, his two non-mutant parents worked tirelessly just to put bread on the table. as a result of their absence, pat didn’t have much of a support system growing up. his one constant source of validation was how proud he made his parents in school, and so he invested his time into his classes to do well. he could never sustain any friendships, as his peers found him too erratic and secretly needy.

it didn’t help when his powers began to manifest towards the end of high school. most people made fun of him, as if he was a dare to be conquested. but the one thing about fusion was that it let him into the minds and bodies of others, and he began to use it to study his peers. but, more than that, he used fusion to cope with not having friends, becoming co-dependent with his powers. and, in doing so, discovered that it was the perfect, unconventional way to do research.

he set his dreams on becoming a scientist and entered a ph.d program. during the research phase of his program, he decided to conduct his work in diamond city not just because it was close to home but because of the large mutant population. his dissertation on mutant genome sequencing was discovered by raul, who kept him in mind for a secret project. shortly after completing his dissertation, he packed his bags to move full time to diamond city to work for raul under what would now be known as the underground.

+  +  +  wcxns

— acquaintance/friend. definitely have interacted, perhaps not in awhile. perhaps they used to grab taro milk tea with boba together every once in awhile.  but what was once a friendship became distant, perhaps because of raul’s death. will it unite them or cause a rift?

— fellow geek. nintendo+ nerds for life. they’re friends on discord and steam, and have likely stayed up until 7am playing video games together when the sunrise hits their face. such is the tortured life of a gamer. pat hasn’t logged on in awhile, and maybe they’re concerned about him.

— training buddy/research subject. the current mutant he’s researching, on the down low or not. they needed help with their powers, pat’s all game for helping people. little do they know there’s a catch, but sometimes the benefits far outweigh the negatives. after all, pat gives good, honest, and thoughtful feedback.

— fusion buddy. it started as either a joke or an experiment, really. but now they’re slightly co-dependent on sharing a body because their separation anxiety has gotten out of control. they’ve tried to break it off, perhaps for awhile, but they always seem to keep coming back to each other.

— panic button. when all else fails, call them at 3am. pat’s not exactly an open person, but something about them makes him invite himself over so he can snuggle up or sleep on their couch. when everything goes wrong, they’re the first person to hear it.

— political differences. being a member of the underground can be really polarizing, especially since pat’s doing illegal work. he tries to justify to himself that he’s doing something good, but this person and him absolutely butt heads over what is morally correct, what is grey, what is wrong. it never ends well.

— he hella sus. they know he’s up to no good, past his dumb ol’ facade. they see him around, perhaps either on a commute or have interacted with him a little more personally. and they see right past his facade of innocence and geekiness. pat’s up to no good, and they know it.

— tensions high. put them in a room together and it won’t end well. one would never think pat could become such a fesity, snarky person, but here he is, chiding away. whether it was a falling out or some petty disagreement that exploded, these two are on the precipice of a fight. 

— the crush. they reduce him to rose-pink blushes. most of the time he’s already tripping over his words, but he can hardly utter a word around them.

— accomplice. down to get materials for his research at whatever cost. he needs mutant and dna samples, he has a secretly funded lab, dangerous chemicals, and raul backing him. or he did. now they have to figure out what they’re doing post raul’s death, and it’s up in the air.

#ruse:intro

[phakjira198]

Internship Reflection.

Ayee tumblr, long time no see again. Anyway there’s a lot for me to catch up to you. First of all I’m interning, but I might have mention some of that in the earlier posts. It’s been 1 month and a half already since I first started my internship and almost a month since I’ve started going to the office. So far I’ve had my up and down with the internship program. There were moments where I really enjoy it and strongly believe that this is what I was meant to do. Usually these are the moments where I can either a) get things to work properly b) coding or c) finally fix the bug. And usually to accompany those moment I’m listening to music and internally dancing at the same time. But there are also moments, where I don’t feel so good. Like most of the day like almost 65% of the day, I don’t really want to go to work. I’m not sure whether it’s actually me not wanting to go to work or something, but I just have this anxiety inside of me whenever I wake up and to be honest I’m not even sure whether it’s work relate or not, or it could just simply be because my digestive system is not so good. (because currently it’s Saturday morning and I still have that feeling 🎉). Now that I think about it, it’s probably not work related and is probably just a general issue that I have that I need to fix. Anyway back to work related issue, there are also things that I don’t enjoy about work. For example, when there’s no clear thing for me to do. I don’t enjoy those moment. In addition to that, when I had to observe the timeLag behaviour that was quite boring. 

Now let’s talk a bit about what I love about Agoda. Honestly, I think the work environment here is great. Every single one of my team member is so nice and helpful. And I love how flat the organisation, I mean the VP table is so close to me and his desk is just like the rest of ours. And the day before I casually walked pass the CEO room, which has glass door so we can see him all the time lol. Moreover, when I was facing an issue with negative timeLag, my manager/ magager’s manager even have to talk with the VP about we could do to fix this and he pitched in idea as well. So that was very cool. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy with where I’m at. Like for university, I have lot of doubt and concern about my own university’s quality. So I don’t feel completely satisfied with it. And for me joining a program like Champ. At first I was so excited about it and was so glad that I got in. But when I’m actually at the thing for a while, I don’t particularly like it or enjoy it that much. I mean I still kinda do, but I don’t feel great about it and it make me feel bad about myself. But not with this internship, for this I was excited about it, and after a month and a half into to it I still enjoy it and it makes me feel good about myself. Which is a feeling that have been missing from me for a while, so it’s quite good to have that feeling back. 

And Agoda has this intern internal pitch thingy, where they split the interns into teams and the we have to pitch an idea that will help Agoda disrupt the travel industry. At first I was quite worry about my team because everybody in the team seems to be so awkward and quiet and just don’t socialise, you know just like me. But then after working with them for a while, I really like all of them. Like they’re all incredibly smart and are good at what they’re doing. It helps to remind me not to judge a book by its cover, and that first impression doesn’t really count. (especially since you’re own first impression is not that great either and it takes like a year to get to know you and for you to be yourself around them 🎉) And since all of us are quite awkward and shy, we didn’t talk and mingle that much, so we worked quite fast. The first time they announced the team and we met. The other teams, they were getting to know each other better and bonding and all that shit. But our team talk about work straight away and got a rough idea about what we’re going to do. Then we only met once to refined that idea for like an hour, while the other team took much longer to work on it. And when we’re doing the pitch coach thingy, we were already starting to work on our presentation slides while the other teams were still discussing their ideas. Any way to sum things up we work smart and not work hard. (which is what we should always be doing). Like I didn’t have to do that much extra work out of our meeting team, only an hour something to work on 1 slide , which was quite fun. Then maybe a couple hours more to work and the script and practice pitching it. But it didn’t feel like a lot of work at all; it felt like a team effort and I don’t have to carry it or feel like all of the responsibility is on me (like what I usually feel a lot of time when it come to school work). Anyway, I enjoyed it very much, and we won!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 We won first place, and my pitch was an absolute bomb (in a good way). Like I totally rock that presentation.  

My pitch presentation was an absolute bombshell. To be honest, I don’t know whether it was actually an absolute bombshell or not because I didn’t watch myself present and I’m not sure whether I would be able to watch myself present or not because don’t know whether they actually recorded it or not. There was a livestream that our team (as in adp-messaging) watched through bluejean, but don’t know whether P’Bow recorded it or not. If she did, then I would really like to watch myself present. Anyway as soon as finished my presentation and walk back to my seat, Teerat gave a thumb up and said that I did great which made me feel good. Thank you very much. Then when there was a 10 min break, which was right after my presentation. One guy, came up to me (well he didn’t came up to me, he just walked pass me) and said that he heard I was good but he didn’t think I would be THAT good. (and to be honest I have a minor crush on him rn, help I’m so weak. Just a tiny bit of interaction with a guy and I start to develop feeling for him, like how pathetic am I, but there’s a little bit more to that which I’ll talk about more in another post. Well, there’s really nothing much more to that but my head imagination has a lot more to it lol). And a couple more friends said that I was great, and that I shouldn’t be an engineer and should do something marketing and PR instead (yeah right ~ sarcastically). But to be honest, when they were saying that thing I didn’t really know how to feel. Especially after I won, I really don’t know how to act. I wasn’t feeling happy, or excited or proud. It was a strange feeling, I was afraid that people would think I’m bragging or they would think that I think that I’m better than everyone (which is absolutely the last thing that would actually come to my mind. Never in the whole wide world would I ever think that). Anyway it was after a while, like 5 hours later when I’m by myself and there was not congratulations from peeps, when I actually started to feel proud of myself, and happy, and excited. It’s like I was unable to process that emotion initially and it took me 5 hours to process that, or maybe it was the fact that I was by myself. And I think maybe because partly because one my friends didn’t feel particularly good about her own pitch ( I mean, I think she did great, she was the first one who got up), so I didn’t want to be all oohhh I’m so happy I won and all that shit. Anyway, later that night I posted on twitter that I won a pitch for the first time in my life even though there was only 6 teams competing and they are literally all my friends. When I posted every single one of my friends on twitter liked it and was happy for me, they all said congratulations and all that shit and it made me feel good and love. And my mom was the best as well, she was very happy and proud of me. My dad was a little bit น้อยใจ I think because I didn’t tell him that I have a pitch or a presentation coming up, usually he’ll know about this kind of stuff. But since I’ve been coming home late and waking up late, he didn’t see me practice and didn’t know about the presentation until I’ve already won. So he had to process it a little bit. Any way he was happy for me the morning after when he had already processed everything lol 555. To go back to the presentation a little bit. I wasn’t really nervous about the presentation that much because a) there wasn’t that much people only like 30 b) because I believe in what I presented, I actually believe that it’s a good idea and that we could actually win. There’s no major flaw in the presentation that we created, it was a solid presentation and I was proud to present it. A lot of the time when I’m presenting I always have doubt and was never really confident about what I was going to present. Especially when it come to school presentation, I’m always so worry about the presentation material itself, about hitting all those criteria to get a the perfect grade. And I think that’s one of the reason why I’m nervous when I’m doing most of my presentation, but this wasn’t really the case. In addition to that, a lot of the time that I do my presentation there’s always some flaw that I’ve identified, or some area of improvement that could be made it to, but even after knowing that I don’t make any changes because I’m too lazy, and then when I’m presenting I worry about this kinda stuff so the presentation doesn’t end up that good. But again this is not the case with this presentation, I was very confident with what we have prepared. The bottom line here is that if I’m actually proud of what I’m doing (which is not a lot of thing, I tend to do things half ass a lot) then that thing is actually good, I can guarantee it.  

Another big finding that I found, well it’s not really a new finding but it’s actually the first time that I’m accepting and acknowledging it. I am EXTREMELY lazy. Like my favourite thing to do is to simply do nothing. Like whenever I get home from work I just want to do nothing and watch a sitcom. I mean it’s understandable because I’ve been quite tired from work, but still I should be doing something that I love right, like playing piano, reading book, or writing my journal. But I don’t because I’m even too lazy to even do the thing that I love. This is a very big issue that I have to fix. I can’t be too lazy to do the thing that I love. I think my biggest goal for the second half of the year is to simply watch less sitcom and do nothing less and try to do something more. 

On more thing that I need to write about is the intern review :). 

wrote on the 17 - 18 July 2020

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s NFL Week 4 Extravapalooza

Another Sunday full of professional gridiron action is upon us. Each of the previous three Sundays (and Mondays and Thursdays) have revealed juuuust a little bit more of the 2019 NFL picture, and by the end of play this week, we should have a pretty firm grasp of where things are headed. LOL, just kidding, football is a perpetual exercise in random chaos, and even the most foul, waterlogged corpse of a team can heroically rise up as one to defeat a two-touchdown spread on a given day. That’s why it’s fun! Well, unless you lose a whole bunch of money when that happens. Then it’s probably not that fun at all. 

As always, my godawful picks are in BOLD, and the lines are courtesy of Vegas Insider.

Off we go!

Early Games

Carolina Panthers at Houston Texans (-4)

Cam Newton revealed in a vlog post earlier this week that he realized during pregame warm-ups for the Panthers’ season opener that he was unable to run due to a foot injury. That seems bad! It certainly explains his horrible performances to start the year, and I wish Cam a speedy and full recovery because the NFL is more fun when he’s trucking defenders and throwing bombs. In last week’s post, I mocked Cam’s replacement Kyle Allen, and he proceeded to have a great game, making me look like a dumb dick in the process. Well, I am DOUBLING DOWN, KYLE. YOU SUCK AND I’M NOT GIVING YOU ANY CREDIT FOR TORCHING THE SORRY ASS ARIZONA CARDINALS. 

DeAndre Hopkins has a tough matchup with Panthers DB James Bradberry, so look for Will Fuller to have himself a ballgame.

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens (-7)

I originally had the Browns as my pick here, but I just read that they’re going to be without their two starting cornerbacks for this one and changed it. Granted, if last week’s version of Lamar Jackson shows up, a depleted secondary won’t be a huge issue since his passes will be way off target, anyway. Was last week’s performance simply Lamar regressing to the mean as a passer, or was it the result of Kansas City being all up in his business for most of the afternoon? I think it was more the latter, and Myles Garrett and company are going to have to bring the heat if the Browns want to pick up a badly-needed W here.

Washington Football Team at New York Giants (-3)

I thought Daniel Jones looked good last week. If you listened to virtually any NFL talking head talk about his debut, you’d have thought he was basically peak Steve Young. Let’s everyone just chill the fuck out on ol’ Danny Dimes for a bit. I think a ghastly, division-game bed-shitting by him is in the cards here just to restore some kind of order to the universe. 

I keep imagining a scenario where Eli Manning is the Emperor Palpatine to Saquon Barkley’s Darth Vader, constantly in his ear trying to turn him to the dark side by pointing out how ridiculous it is that Daniel Jones gets all the slobbering when Saquon is the true star of the team. You can’t spell “Machiavellian” without “Eli!”

It goes without saying that this game will be hideous and you shouldn’t subject yourself to a single snap of it.

Los Angeles Chargers (-14.5) at Miami Dolphins

Another week, another game in which the Dolphins are massive underdogs. I think this is their best shot to cover so far, as the Chargers find themselves in the classic “West Coast team playing at 1:00 EST” scenario. Plus, if somebody asked you “Which supposedly good NFL team is most likely to outright lose a game in which they’re favored by two TDs?” odds are good that the Bolts would be the first team to spring to mind.

Oakland Raiders at Indianapolis Colts (-7)

I’m very much enjoying Jacoby Brissett’s success, as he was by all accounts an awesome guy during his time with New England, and he showed flashes of ability when he had the chance here. In the Battle for Best Brady Backup, he’s clearly ahead of Handsome Jimmy at the moment.

I’m disappointed in the Raiders in terms of their entertainment value so far. I was really hoping for more craziness. As far as I know, Jon Gruden hasn’t even hinted at sitting Derek Carr for Mike Glennon yet. LAME.

Kansas City Chiefs (-7) at Detroit Lions

Matthew Stafford is hurt and according to this Schefter tweet  he’s “the closest he’s probably been to not playing,” which seems bad, but that sentence is so poorly constructed that I can’t be sure. Stafford’s most admirable quality is his toughness, so if he’s thinking about sitting he’s probably quite fucked up. This is going to be such a ruthless Lion slaughtering that even Scar is gonna have a hard time watching.

New England Patriots (-7) at Buffalo Bills

I am all in on the notion of the Bills being a team on the rise, and on Josh Allen in particular, but this game has “41-10 Patriots win” written all over it. This feeling is based on a proprietary blend of rank homerism from me, perpetual fatalism from my Bills fan best friend, and a sausage breakfast sandwich. 

Tennessee Titans at Atlanta Falcons (-3.5)

This game inspires no emotion from me whatsoever. No excitement, no revulsion. No whimsical laughter or erotically-charged anger. It only conjures a sense of pure, absolute emptiness. It exists in the void between our reality and another, and ye shan’t glance upon it lest ye go mad. 

Late Games

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Los Angeles Rams (-9.5)

I went back and forth on this pick, because 9.5 is a lot of points to give a team that can theoretically put up points the way the Bucs can. In the end, I went with L.A. because they’re a much better team at home where Jared Goff can clearly hear it when Sean McVay calls the plays, identifies what the defense is, and tells him exactly where to throw the ball and when. 

The Rams also have a pretty good defensive secondary, and Tampa Bay’s breakout WR Chris Godwin is dealing with a hip issue and could be limited. Might be a multi-INT day for ol’ Jameis Winston. I mean, that’s every day, but it could be particularly damaging today.

Seattle Seahawks (-5.5) at Arizona Cardinals

On one hand, we have a team with an unproven rookie QB whose head coach wants him to throw the ball as many times as possible. On the other, we have a team with one of the best QBs in football, whose head coach seemingly wants to minimize him by having him hand the ball off 50 times a game. Football really makes no sense sometimes. 

Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears (-1.5)

This is probably going to be the kind of low-scoring derpfest that gets a certain brand of “football purist” absolutely rock hard. Each team has a very good defense and a QB with a propensity to make truly baffling decisions. I can already hear Mike Wilbon frothing at the mouth describing this game as the way football USED to be played before all these whippersnappers ruined it with their spread formations and head coaches that can read. God, he’s such a twat.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos (-3)

Sunday Night Game: Dallas Cowboys (-2.5) at New Orleans Saints

As loathe as I am to admit it, the Cowboys are very good. While I think Teddy Bridgewater is a perfectly cromulent backup QB who can keep the Saints’ season alive until Brees returns, I don’t this isn’t the kind of game he’s gonna win.

Monday Night Game: Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5)

Last Week’s Record: 4-11 (LOL)

Season Record: 20-24-1

#Sports! #NFL #Football