#once upon a time I was falling in love now I’m only falling apart

[geeks-universe]

Cooper Howard x F!Reader (not to spoil it, but you know I love my crossovers so…)

The Fallen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once, when the world was younger and you were still naive enough to believe in fate, you asked your father about love.

He’d laughed then- a deep, cheery kind, that spoke of a wisdom you could never hope to achieve.

“In time,” he’d promised, taking your hands into his, “You’ll learn that love comes in many forms, and the love you choose will always be the greatest.”

Even after everything, after years and years of disappointment, of cruelty and emptiness, you couldn’t forget his words.

So, in an act of rebellion, you chose love.

You chose the love of your brother, the brother who would lose everything, who would fall from Grace, just for defying fate.

You chose the human race, who turned their back on you, who hurt you over and over again.

You chose a better life, that seemed impossible most days- but sometimes, just sometimes, everybody lives.

And you chose wrong.

The world tore itself apart, and just when you wanted to believe it could find itself again, it would fall into the greatest trap in human history: greed.

The love in your soul turned to dust, like the cities you’d once roamed, crumbling until all that remained was an empty space and broken dreams. You’d held onto what you could of yourself, desperate to piece together the fragments into something that resembled the person you’d been, but there was no hope. The spark of hope you’d once kindled and raised to an inferno was doused, nothing but ashes in the ocean of your disappointment.

There were still a few things you couldn’t abide by, however, and Cooper Howard dragging an innocent woman through the desolate Wastelands was one of them.

You’d happened upon the scene by accident, just passing through, but the familiarity of the figure had you lurking longer than what was normally deemed safe.

“Coop?”

Your voice was gentle, like the beginning strums of a sweet song. Cooper wasn’t sure how the harshness that had etched itself into your demeanor never invaded your speech, but he would be eternally grateful. It was a goddamn godsend he didn’t believe he ever deserved.

“Well, now,” he drawled, careful to keep the smile that threatened to peek through hidden. “Last I heard, you were headed East.”

You had no such reservations, and even the years of guilt and pain couldn’t wipe away the upturn of your lips. For an action so small, it sure did radiate in a way the sun never could.

“I did, but it didn’t stick,” you shrugged, grabbing the straps of your backpack. Never one for subtlety, you gestured at the vault-dweller, who had been eyeing you with a keen interest.

She had been quiet, obviously, for the sake of herself and how Cooper might react to her asking for help. Now that you’d acknowledged her, though, she started speaking up, much to Cooper’s chagrin.

“I’m Lucy,” she said, tugging harshly at the restraints around her neck. “I’m looking for my father.”

You nodded, and the fluttering in Lucy’s heart slowed, fear mixing with her initial curiosity. You knew the ghoul holding her captive, the chances of you helping her were slim to none, but she tried to remain optimistic. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a good person on the surface.

“Might be hard to do with that,” your eyes flicked from her neck to Cooper, with a pointed raise of one brow.

He let out a low whistle, leaning back with the confidence of a man who’d lived long enough to not be afraid of shit. If it were anyone else, friend or not, he would’ve shot them dead and been done with it. He didn’t need to answer to anyone, but something deep in his chest forced his hands steady.

“She broke my vials,” he explained, cautiously avoiding your gaze. “Seems only fair she gets me more.”

“He used me as bait!” Lucy argued indignantly, trying to take a step towards you only to be tugged back by Cooper. “I had to do something.”

“Your father,” the word is strained, a haunting in your eyes Lucy can’t place, “Where is he?”

Lucy tried, once again, to walk to you. Coop, however, was keeping her on a tight leash, refusing to let her near you. It’s for his benefit, he tells himself, even if some small part of him does it for your protection.

Over the years, he’s run into you many, many times. No matter how hard he’s tried, it’s like fate keeps bringing him back to you. At first, he’d been downright horrible to you, terrified to admit that there was something in your eyes that made him feel human again. Slowly, ever slowly, like a stubborn weed you grew on him, and it’s been impossible for him to deny the way his body reacts to you.

“Coop,” you chide, your voice like velvet, enveloping his skin in a soft warmth. Fuck, he did love it when you used his name.

You gave Lucy a half smile, and the growl that threatened to leave Cooper’s mouth got caught in his throat as he realized you weren’t walking to her, but to him.

“I’ll get you the vials, just let her find her dad.”

He stood a little taller as you approached, planting his hands on his belt as he ran his tongue along his teeth.

“Darlin’, I ain’t doing this for the hell of it,” he replied, and then paused. “Mostly.”

You reached your hands out, carefully enveloping them around where he was grasping the rope. In all his years, he hadn’t recalled a single touch ever stirring his stomach the way yours did. You’d only ever touched him once before, and it was a brief graze of his cheek. This was intentful, and it felt a hell of a lot more intimate than it had any right to be.

“Please,” you breathed, and he could see the despair in your eyes - eyes that were far too old for someone who looked so young. He could never quite piece together how you fit in this world, or how you managed to look as if you’d stepped right out of the past just to have this moment with him.

He sighed, maintaining a scowl for all he was worth. Cooper Howard would not let you see the effect you had on him.

“Thank you, Coop.”

His stubborn heart skipped a beat as he clenched his jaw, his expression emanating annoyance. You weren’t perturbed, however, turning away to free Lucy.

“I’m (Y/N),” you introduced yourself, careful not to irritate the marks on her neck further. Cooper was rough around the edges, you knew that, but you saw the man beneath the armor in the little moments, the times he couldn’t quite hide who he was.

It intrigued you, made you think about yourself and the person you’d become. Perhaps, you had been too hasty in throwing that person away. Maybe, that part of yourself was still alive too, buried underneath layers of armor.

“Thank you,” she was sincere in her gratitude, and that tiny piece of yourself flared, begging to be remembered.

“I could help you too, you know,” you offered after a delayed pause, chasing the optimism she held tightly onto.

No matter how hard you tried, your soul fought back, demanded to be whole again.

“Really?” Her surprise morphed to joy, and you found it contagious.

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Cooper interrupted, not pleased with that development. “Your services are required elsewhere.”

“I’m capable of servicing more than just you.”

His leg twitched at the insinuation, at the way you looked at him from beneath your lashes with an innocence he doubted you possessed.

“But, since you asked so nicely cowboy,” your smile was devious, your tone far too sultry for the sweltering heat of the desert. “You first.”

Lucy’s brows were to her hairline, unsure what to make of the dynamic between the two of you. Her entertainment, however, was cut blissfully short when you threw a canteen towards her, which she caught instinctually.

“Now you’re coddling her, sweetheart?”

You took a moment to wrap the lasso Cooper carried around into a neat loop, your gaze locked with his as you approached once more. Lucy was too preoccupied with her water to notice the two of you sizing one another up.

“Don’t be jealous, Coop,” you grabbed the front of his belt roughly, forcing him a step closer to you.

He fell into the motion, tracing his eyes dangerously slow from where you gripped his belt to the soft curve of your lips.

“You’re still my favorite,” you promised on a breath as you tucked his lasso securely into his waist.

His hands snatched your wrists before you pulled away, and for a brief moment, the intermingling of your breath was all that interrupted the silence. His gaze was a challenge, and yours was far too playful.

It was damn near unfair how you could walk through the apocalypse and still look like you belonged on a fucking billboard. There was an unnatural allure around you, and he wasn’t sure if it was the twinkle in your eyes, or the smoothness of your skin, or the gentle bur of your voice- but holy fuck you looked like an angel that’d accidentally stumbled into hell.

The silence was interrupted by Lucy clearing her throat, an awkward smile as she caught your attention.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but-“

“It’s okay,” you assure her, grazing your fingers along Cooper’s palms as you step from his proximity.

“Vials first, daddy dearest after,” you reminded them, taking the lead.

Lucy was more than happy to walk beside you, while Cooper trailed a small distance behind. Where Lucy was insistent on speaking, keeping up a steady conversation through the long trek, Cooper preferred to observe.

First, he focused on the way your black jumpsuit hugged all the right areas, tight enough it could be considered a damn sin. That train of thought was dangerous though, and left him with an ache he knew he couldn’t satisfy on his own.

So, he instead focused on the way you effortlessly dodged Lucy’s line of questions, and redirected the questions to learn about her. It was curious, that. As much of a tight lipped bastard that Cooper was, you were doubly so. Through the years and the friendly encounters, he’d let some of his life slip in conversation. Nothing substantial, but you certainly knew more tidbits than anyone else.

He, however, didn’t know anything about you. He knew what he observed, but you never told him anything about your past.

It helped pass the time, sifting through your noncommittal answers to make assumptions about the life you lived.

It was difficult though.

Sometimes, you talked about things like you’d witnessed them, even though it would’ve been impossible. He didn’t know your age exactly, but if he had to guess, he’d put you at maybe mid-twenties, and that’s at the oldest. It was damn near a miracle you didn’t have any missing limbs or obvious scarring. You looked as unmarked as a damn vault dweller, and he was starting to think that perhaps you had been one.

“Have you always lived on the surface?”

He never thought he’d be thankful for the damn vault dweller, but it was nice having someone try to pry some answers out of you.

“That’s a harder question to answer than you’d think,” you laughed a little coyly, like there was a joke that only you were privy to.

When it was obvious you weren’t going to continue speaking, and Lucy had far too many manners to push any further on the subject, she asked another question.

“Why’d you help me?“

Your gaze turned toward the setting sun. It had been over half the day since you’d decided to help them both, and the sun was just now slipping below the horizon. The three of you would have to rest soon.

“It’s hard to forget the person I was,” you admitted lowly.

The symphony that was your voice turned decidedly melancholy, unnaturally so. Normally, it sounded more like a romantic string of tunes that captured the essence of life. This, however, was sad, dead.

“Maybe the world needs more people like that,” Lucy provided, and Cooper didn’t miss the flash of guilt that devastated your expression.

Curious, indeed.

“I’d reckon that’s the last place we’ll find ‘fore the sun disappears,” Coop states, pointing to a rickety, old house, somehow still standing against the desert in defiance.

“It’s as good a place as any for the night,” you shrugged, leading the small group to the rest spot.

Where Cooper was cautious, weapon drawn, you were careless, opening the door like you knew nothing was in there that could hurt you. He felt a twinge of annoyance that you would be that reckless, knowing the dangers of the Wasteland. He was many things, but a protector was certainly not one of them.

“Here,” Lucy tried to hand you back the canteen you’d gifted her earlier as you settled yourself down in a corner.

The building was definitely empty, and provided some amount of protection from both the elements and any creatures lurking about, but there wasn’t any intact furniture. You’d found a relatively comfortable pile of sand and laid your pack down, as if it were a pillow.

“Keep it,” you refused to take the offering. You were honestly a bit surprised she had even saved some for you.

“But you haven’t had anything to drink all day.”

It was an oddity that Cooper had noticed too. While both he and the vault-dweller had taken an occasional sip of water or a bite to eat, you hadn’t done either, and the brutal pace you’d set hadn’t reflected that.

“Believe me, “ you said, turning your back to your two traveling companions. “I’m okay.”

Obviously unsatisfied with leaving the conversation, Lucy frowned, but obeyed. Her probing look to the ghoul warranted no answers, and eventually she found her own patch of sand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed along in a similar manner, and the more of you that the two observed, the more confused they became. They didn’t voice their concerns, however, far more focused on the destination you had in mind.

“It’s…”

Lucy trailed off, side eyeing you with a questioning look.

“A lab,” you supplied.

“Right, a lab!” She echoed enthusiastically, deciding it best not to point out that it was very much in a state of disrepair and the likelihood of anything surviving the looting prevalent throughout the Wastelands was little to none.

“Sugar, I don’t have the time to be fucking around right now.”

It was the closest tone to anger that Cooper had spoken to you since his first year of knowing you. In the past two days specifically his coughing had grown more severe and more often.

You’d explained a generalized version of what would happen without help to Lucy after the first night, and since then she’d been a bit more apologetic to the ghoul, even if he was a dick.

“Stay out here,” you ordered, not waiting for their inevitable protest as you slipped into the decrepit building with a loud screech of the door.

At the very least, your traveling companions didn’t follow you into the descending hallway, which was more than you expected.

Whatever source had powered the underground facility had died years ago, leaving the bulk of the supplies sealed tight behind an impenetrable door. The bunker was lined with 2 feet of lead, and a door weighing many tons. It was nigh impossible to get in, and if you were anyone else, you would’ve considered it a lost cause.

Instead, you cast a glance back towards the faded light where the entrance was, ensuring that you were not followed while you grabbed hold of the door handle.

You sighed, yanking with a great deal of force until the door made a loud pop, coming unhinged and falling to the ground with a deafening thud. There was a hushed murmur from where Lucy had yelled down to you, but you didn’t bother replying, instead focused on the rows and rows of vials.

Most of the initial testing sites were still secret, a forgotten part of history that, despite their usefulness in the current state of the world, had fallen into the cracks of negligence. Luckily for you, and by extension Cooper, there was enough supply to last him damn near a year if he could ration and store it properly.

Just as you dropped the first vial into your backpack, which was in a convenient metal container, you heard a distinct whooshing noise. You didn’t need to look at the falling object to know who had decided to drop by, and with an exasperated sigh, you tilted your head toward the ceiling of the very dark, very cold bunker.

“Brother…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think we should check on her?” Lucy was having trouble keeping still, straining her eyes down the dark hallway. “What if she’s hurt?“

“She ain’t hurt,” Cooper shot back, leaning back against the dingy building and crossing his arms over his chest.

“She could be de-“

“Finish that sentence and you might find yourself there, sweetheart,” He threatened, his fingers reaching down toward his holstered gun.

Maybe it’d be better to keep her mouth shut, but after a tense silence, and quite literally nothing better to do, Lucy couldn’t help herself.

“So, you and (Y/N)-“

“Do you like breathin’? ‘Cause I’m getting the distinct feeling that you certainly do not.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you look at her with this-“

“I have no qualms with blasting a hole through your head ‘nd tellin’ her you decided to run off.”

“And then there’s the way she talks to you-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there, sweetheart. If one more word comes out of your mouth, it’ll be the last.”

The two met stare for stare, the threat lingering in the hot breeze between them. Lucy had no doubt she was beginning to grate on the ghoul’s nerves, but she also didn’t really think he’d harm her, not when it was obvious you’d know it was him that did so.

He wouldn’t risk you being upset with him.

Probably.

And because Lucy really didn’t know when to stop talking, she spoke one more time.

“I know that you think I’m naive, and maybe I am, but I do know that life is unexpected and people die, like, a lot.” She dragged in a breath, envisioning her last, and only, memory with her mother, surprised that Cooper had actually let her speak for this long without interrupting.

“Especially up here, so maybe, just… keep that in mind.”

The silence stretched, and for a long moment, Lucy was sure he was going to shoot her. Or at the very least, not answer.

Ever so quietly, however, in a low grumble she heard him mutter, “I know.”

The air felt significantly less murderous after that, and she left the ghoul to contemplate his complex feelings on the subject. She might not fully understand the extent of your connection, or even why you felt that way towards him, but she could appreciate the raw emotion that sparked in the conversation between you both.

If anything good came out of her coming to the surface, besides bringing her dad home, she hopes it would be them realizing the gift they have. Idly, she thought about the knight she’d met back at Filly. That was the first real connection she’d had with anyone, as silly as it was to think about.

“I’m glad nobody’s shot,” you interrupted the quiet contemplation, the smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes.

Whatever happened in the mysterious lab couldn’t have been good, but you seemed entirely unscathed outside the haunted, nervous look in your eyes.

“Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Cooper greeted, tipping his hat back a titch so he could inspect your person. If he took a little extra time to appreciate the curves of your body- well, who could blame him?

“It’s cleared out,” you rattled your pack in the air before you, nearly dropping some of the overstuffed vials.

Coop let out a low whistle, and Lucy commented, “That’s enough for a lifetime.”

“Not quite,” you laughed, passing along the top one to Cooper. “But it will certainly last a while.”

While the ghoul tended to his needs, Lucy and you wandered further into the Wasteland, eyeing the pipboy on her wrist with the directions to the head.

“So the head for your dad?”

There it was again. The sourness in your voice at the word “dad”. Lucy wanted to ask without being too terribly intrusive, but let the subject drop.

“Did anything happen in the lab?”

You bummed, shaking your head. It was clearly a lie, further proven by the frown that settled on your lips. There wasn’t a lot of yourself you trusted other people with, especially not when it came to your family, but your soul was burning with the desire to shed your armor.

“My brother’s name is Lucy,” you said suddenly, unprompted. “Well, his nickname.”

Lucy, at the very least knowing where the boundary was, decided not to press her luck. Despite seeming to be such a small piece of information, she could see the effort you put into sharing it nonetheless.

“Lucy?” Cooper echoed, having snuck up at some point to follow you.

You weren’t bothered that he’d overheard though. On more than one occasion you’d wanted to share pieces of yourself with Cooper.

“Lucifer,” you provided his full name, a twinge at the top of your shoulder blade, where your battered, broken wings began, ran down the length of your spine.

“Like the devil?” Lucy inquired cautiously.

A laugh crawled up your throat, and before you could stop it, you were giggling heartily, nodding your head.

“That’d be the one, yeah.”

She didn’t understand the truth you were telling her. You knew she wouldn’t, couldn’t possibly fathom the implications that ensued with that knowledge either.

Lucy casted one quick glance at Cooper, then cleared her throat and claimed she was going off the path to use the bathroom quick.

There was a tense silence that permeated the hot, desert air when she left, a new development that neither occupant knew how to navigate. Finally, Coop broke it.

“Ya know, you’ve never actually talked about… all o’ that.”

Your family.

He didn’t say it in so many words, but you could fill in the unspoken topic without much thought. You hummed, acknowledging your own secrecy regarding your past.

“Sometimes it’s better to leave the past buried.”

Coop breathed out a laugh.

“Don’t I know it.”

The smile you gave him was genuine, albeit small. Hesitantly, you reached out towards his gloved hand, grasping it lightly between your own. You didn’t have anything you really wanted to say, didn’t need to, actually. He could see it in your eyes, the gratefulness shining in your bright gaze, clearing some of the guilt that stayed stagnant on your person.

“The vaultie reminded me today,” he drawled, his voice even lower than normal. If you didn’t know him any better, you’d say he was almost flustered.

“People die.”

You waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, you raised a brow in question.

Cooper felt his heart jump to his throat. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bare himself- not now, maybe not ever. The world felt like it started spinning around him, and he pulled his hand from yours, cradling it to your chest.

“Just hope you’re not one of ‘em, darlin’,” he finished lamely.

You swallowed, deciding it was better not to push. Not today.

“You too, Coop.”

Words simmered between you. Dangerous, terrifying words. But Cooper couldn’t get them out, couldn’t get past the panic that played his heart like a damn fiddle.

And you, well you couldn’t let go of your guilt, couldn’t see past the pain of watching the world go to shit and not doing anything to stop it.

So those words stayed unspoke, utterances of the heart, but not of the lips. Maybe, if they were never voiced, they could freeze, and eventually crumble, like time did to all.

Lucy returned then, and the unlikely group continued on as before, leaving the forgotten words to decay away in the dry sand of the Wasteland

#cooper howard x reader #the ghoul x reader #fallout x reader #cooper howard x you #cooper howard insert #i love him #i warned y’all #anyways #bye I have no regrets

[hazel-rah]

Bring back Bonnie Tyler and pier ballads asap

#once upon a time I was falling in love… now I’m only falling apart #if u even care

[hannyoontify]

little stars - kwon soonyoung

member | non-idol!hoshi x illustrator!reader

genre | fluff, newly est. relationship

word count | 2k with some change

synopsis | soonyoung sees you without makeup for the first time, and he notices something he’s never seen before

warnings | reader wears makeup, reader has freckles on their face, reader is implied to have insomnia but it’s not prevalent to the plot, reader is ticklish, soonyoung has an extensive vocabulary of terms of endearment that borderline make me wanna hurl if they were used unironically, soonyoung makes a shrek reference

notes | i have freckles on the back of my hands and have always been insecure of them but i remembered how my ex used to kiss them and say they were beautiful

Soonyoung’s not a criminal. He knows that. The last time he committed a serious crime was back when he was seven years old when he stole a new pack of crayons from his sister’s friends’ house after a play date.

(Two seconds after leaving said friend's house and he could no longer handle the overwhelming and crushing guilt and ended up running to his mom and crying, calling himself a “tiger thief.”)

So when Soonyoung urgently texts your best friend to ask for the password to your apartment, he can’t help but feel a dull pang of guilt in his chest as he inputs the numbers he sees into the digital keypad. His hands are shaking as the door unlocks and he fumbles through the doorway and upon your quiet and dark apartment.

It’s well past noon now and yet, there wasn’t a single hint of you in the living room and kitchen. The sink was still empty, the drying rack was full, the throw pillows on the couch looked too pristine, and the curtains were still closed. Fearing the worst, Soonyoung quietly made his way to your closed bedroom door, his sock-covered feet padding along the floor. 

He softly knocks once. Then twice. “[Name]?” No response. 

“[Name]? Baby? Are you awake?” When he doesn’t get a response, Soonyoung pushes the door slightly open. “I’m coming in…” 

In the dark room, all Soonyoung could perceive was a lump amidst the lush pile of stuffed animals and blankets, your sleeping form slowly rising and falling. “Baby…” He pushed the door wider, letting the minimal light from the living room stream past your doorway, shedding light into your dark room.

The lump under the big fluffy duvet stirred, squirming around as Soonyoung approached the side of your bed. He turned on the mushroom lamp you had on your bedside table and you let out a loud groan. 

While you stirred in your sheets, Soonyoung glanced around your room. He’d only been to your apartment a couple times in the past few months but he was already familiar to the layout of your bedroom. In the corner, next to the window was your desk with your extensive, impressive PC set-up. Sheets of half-drawn and unfinished pencil drawings were strewn across your drawing board and your desk was a flurry of paper, reference photos, and pencils.

Soonyoung felt a pang in his chest at the realization that you had probably stayed up until ungodly hours trying to finish your illustrations. You were an artiste and you had a bad habit of working until you practically dropped dead when you were struck by a lightning of inspiration.

“[Name], love, it’s time to wake up. It’s already past 3 in the afternoon. Sleeping is for the nighttime.” You poked your head out of the blanket, the edge of the fluffy duvet resting right below your eyes and covering the rest of your face. 

You stared at him blankly with bloodshot eyes and Soonyoung swore he saw—and heard—the gears turning in your head. It took you a couple seconds to recognize your boyfriend. “Soonie?” You croaked out, your voice still hoarse having woken up just seconds before.

Soonyoung smiled at the nickname and affectionately patted your head. “Time to wake up, sleepy head. Don’t wanna ruin your sleep schedule. Late night, huh?”

You nodded and rubbed an eye. “Deadline was…” You yawned. “Last night. Couldn’t sleep either.”

Soonyoung nodded sympathetically. 

“What- what time is it?” You blinked at him with the blanket still covering the rest of your face. Your hair was a tussled mess that was fanned out on the pillow behind you.

“3 pm, baby. C’mon. Let’s get you out of bed.” Soonyoung gently pulled the blanket away, revealing the rest of your face and your matching tiger pajamas. Your boyfriend stared at your clothes, an ambiguous look in his eyes that made you unsure of whether he found your pajamas adorable, or if he simply coveted your clothes and hence boosting you up to top 3 on his rob list, next to his model friend, Joshua and his tiger striped patterned button-up.

(That button-up wasn’t even his, it was something his stylist had just put on him for one of his magazine photo shoots.)

Meanwhile, reality had finally begun to settle in for you as you just realized that your new, hot boyfriend was standing in your bedroom, fluffy hair galore. He was standing over you with a twinkling look in his eyes, clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a white tank top, his muscles flexing and rolling as he tugged the blanket off of you.

You then suddenly became painfully aware of your appearance. You were in your embarrassing tiger character pajamas and your face was painstakingly bare. Your hands flew up to your hands and you flipped over, burying your face into your pillow with a loud groan. 

“Soonie, can you wait outside for me?” Your voice was muffled by the fabric of your pillow. 

Soonyoung reached out for your shoulder and his eyebrows scrunched up with worry. “Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

With your hands still covering your face, you rolled back and peeked at your boyfriend through your fingers. “I’mmph mmm wmmph any mammphup.”

Soonyoung chuckled and gently grabbed your wrists. “Baby, I can’t understand what you’re saying.” 

“I’m not wearing any makeup,” you whined. “You’ve never seen me barefaced before, I’m embarrassed.”

“Nooooo, baby, lemme see your hot and sexy face,” When you wouldn’t budge, Soonyoung sighed in fake exasperation. “Then you leave me no choice.”

He crawled into the empty spot next to you in bed and wrapped his big arms around you, prying your hands away from your face. 

You giggled and wriggled away from Soonyoung, using everything within you to try and hide from your boyfriend who was now currently pinning you to the mattress jiu-jitsu style. You shrieked when Soonyoung’s cold fingers dug into your sides, causing you to writhe around under him, like a fish without water. You gasped for air as Soonyoung tickled you but your hands still firmly covered your face.

“Baby, babe, pookie bear, my sweet sugar plum, my snookum bear, honey bunch, sweet cheeks, pooh bear, pudding pie, my cutie patootie, snuggle bear,” Soonyoung gently grabbed your wrists again. “I don’t care if you’re the pretty princess version of Fiona or the ogre version. I’ll be the Shrek to whichever version you are, because,” Soonyoung placed a hand over his chest and spoke after a dramatic pause. “It’s the heart that truly matters.”

You snorted. 

“Are you laughing at me and my Shrek analogy? You know it took me a long time to think of that.” Soonyoung seemed to deflate and he pouted.

“Of course not baby. I think your Shrek analogy is genius,” You peeked through your fingers, just in time to see his chest swell again with pride–you had complimented his Shrek analogy! “But I’m still not showing you my face.”

“BABY NOOOOO,” Soonyoung dramatically threw himself against you, his fingers seeking refuge in your armpits this time, causing you to erupt into a fit of giggles. “LEMME SEE YO FACEEEEE.”

“Nooooo,” you whined. Despite your protests, you couldn’t help but giggle as Soonyoung tried different combinations of kissing and tickling to try and get you to open up.

Thanks to his stubbornness and his iron grip, he was finally able to pry your hands off your face and pinned them against the pillow next to you. In the midst of wrestling you, Soonyoung had ended up on top of you, his legs straddling your waist and he looked down at you with a triumphant grin. “Gotcha.”

His eyes were roaming around your face, evidently studying you as you tried to avoid eye contact. Your giggles slowly subsided, and you heard Soonyoung trying to catch his own breath. When he finally managed to lock his eyes with your own, there was a softness in his eyes in the way he looked at you that you had never seen before.

Breathless, Soonyoung spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You… have freckles…”

“H-huh?” You felt your cheeks burning as your boyfriend timidly brought a hand up to your face. His fingertips softly grazed your skin, his touch so light and gentle, you would’ve thought it was just a light gust of wind if you hadn’t been paying attention. Soonyoung’s eyes stayed trained on your cheeks, his eyes examining each and every individual freckle with a gentleness you had never seen from him before.

You’ve always been aware of the freckles on your face, but they’ve never received this much attention from someone before. It felt awkward, but it also felt… intimate. It felt nice for your beauty marks to be appreciated, and your heart swelled with affection at the sweet gesture from your boyfriend. 

Soonyoung continued to study the freckles, his fingers lightly tracing your skin with a feather-like touch. As if he was trying to commit every single detail of you to memory. Finally, his eyes meet yours and the corner of his lip tugs up, hinting a smile. “You’re beautiful.”

You feel the heat on your cheeks spreading across your face to the tip of your ears and you become unsure of how to respond. Sure, you’ve received compliments before, but not like this. No compliment you’ve ever received has ever been this intimate or vulnerable. The way Soonyoung said those two words made it sound like a secret. A secret that he uttered quietly into the void, whispering it into existence, just for you to hear. A secret only the two of you would know.

You thought your heart was about to burst. 

Soonyoung cupped your face with both his hands and his thumbs rubbed gently against the soft skin on your cheekbones. You blinked up at him, watching his big, dark eyes roam around your face. The light of your mushroom lamp reflected in his eyes, sparkling and shining with a child-like wonder. 

Your room was dimly lit, the muted colors in your room solely provided by the small lamp on your bedside table. It had begun to rain at some point, the dull pitter-patter of the rain against your window replicating the beating of your heart. 

After what seems like forever, you finally speak up. “Soonie?”

Soonyoung begrudgingly tears his eyes away from your freckles and looks into your own, shining eyes. “Yes, baby?”

“I–” you faltered, unsure of what to say. You pursed your lips and stared at your boyfriend who gave you a soft, loving smile. “Are my freckles that interesting?”

Soonyoung’s grin grew into a boy-ish one and he reached over and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “Yes, honey. I want to commit every part of you to memory. I want to learn the story behind every freckle and scar. I want to learn all of you.” 

You felt an unfamiliar warmth stir in your heart, that soon spread throughout the rest of your body, through your fingertips and every cell of your being. Your heart fluttered. Was this what poets and lyricists meant when they wrote of love

“They’re like… I mean, I’m not a poet but-” Soonyoung fumbles as he searches for the right words to describe the immeasurable admiration and love he felt for you. 

Your freckles were strikingly beautiful and Soonyoung felt the wind getting knocked out of him when he first saw the sweet brown sugar sprinkled on your nose and cheekbones. They were like April rain showers that sprinkle the green grass with yellow flowers and Soonyoung thought your face mimicked the night sky, your freckles glinting and gleaming like countless stars. 

“Your freckles… they remind me of beautiful constellations. They can create illustrations in the night sky by connecting the dots and they tell stories, your stories.” Soonyoung paused. “And I love them.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Was he-?

“I love you.”

Soonyoung gazed down at you with an uncertain look, his eyes searching your own for some kind of response. His heart hammered against his chest as he wondered if you felt the same way yet. 

You did. 

“I love you too, Soonyoung. And baby?”

“Hm?”

“That was so much better than your Shrek analogy.”

reblogs and feedback are always appreciated ^-^

#hannyoontify.works #caratlibrary #seventeen #svt #seventeen fluff #hoshi #hoshi fluff #hoshi x reader #hoshi drabble #hoshi svt #soonyoung fluff #seventeen imagines #soonyoung scenarios #queued

[won4ver]

✈︎a poet’s draft

↳ teaser

You were convinced that Sunghoon was incapable of loving, and he was prepared to sacrifice everything to prove you wrong.

pairing : streetracer!sunghoon x singer!afab!reader

warnings + genre : readers kinda mean. exes to ??. [warnings will be added to the main fic]

teaser wc : 1.1k | fic wc : ~10-15k

release date : ??

a/n : listened to vroom vroom by weeekly on repeat while writing the teaser… been so excited about putting this one out, it’s been brewing in my drafts for a few days. i’m almost done the full fic so it’s coming very soon

playlist [updated frequently]

“You know, I was in love with you” As the words tumbled from your mouth in a wisp of blue, it travelled throughout his bones drawing red where your words cut. His head snapped to you as his cuts cried, the familiar numbing pain crawling up his throat as it burned, swallowing itself as he attempted to speak. 

“I even thought we were going to get married” His heart raced like an invisible clock, ticking away in his mind as your love grew purple.

Purple, his favourite colour was now nothing more than the venom dripping from the teeth of the serpent wrapped around his fresh wounds, mocking him for his unfulfilled love. The purple streaks that once coloured your hair in the plethora of his love, were now dyed over with a striking blonde.

“You were my everything, Sunghoon”

His absence created a separation like water and oil, the reds and blues pulling apart as he broke your heart in a quick decision. He was red, of course, he took your favourite colour with him.

The comforting red that you once blushed across his cheeks was now staining his firsts as they dripped with blood, the comforting red was nothing but a distraction. You once loved red, but now you hated it more than anything.

“But then I saw that I was nothing to you”

You were red until Sunghoon touched you, until he made you fall in love with him by whispering sweet nothing in your ears under the morning dew beneath the pale blue sky. You were stained purple until the red dripped out like a faucet. 

The path left by your shed tears was an abstract of delusion, Sunghoon didn’t know how to love. He proved the point when he left without a word, the tears now dried upon your cheeks.

“And I foolishly believed that you responded with equally returned love” His mouth filled with the taste of copper, the red landing on his tongue as he bit his lip. The invisible clock froze, his body numbed as your words repeated in a record of self-doubt. 

“But then I realized, you don’t know how to love Sunghoon. I’ve always struggled with forcing myself to believe in a lie.” You turned your head towards him, eyes leaving the beautiful sunset to stare into the void of Sunghoon, his hypnotising eyes blurred with faux tears.

You let yourself scoff, shaking your head as you stared at the man beside you, his palms shaking as they twiddled with each other. “You're nothing more than a poet's draft, your rhythm fell out of touch with the one of the world.”

The invisible clock chimed as the red flames licked at it, unfrozen as Sunghoon’s tears raced down his cheeks. He couldn’t breathe, his chest filled with smoke as the fire of the clock burned him. “N- no that's not true, I loved you more than anything” He stuttered, shaking his head as the salty tears landed like lava on his hands.

“I love you like the wind-” You cut him off, “No you didn’t Sunghoon, you became the wind.” He shook his head back and forth, his lips trembling as his head began pounding, his heartbeat loud in his ears.

“You destroy everything in your path, like a hurricane tearing through my heart. You took everything I had, leaving me with nothing but your destruction.” You looked away from the man who left you in the wake of his timeless parallel of ruining everything he’s ever touched. Sunghoon wasn’t made to love but to be loved.

He found love in you, at one point in time he truly believed that you were the only type of love he’d ever experience, up until he fell into the blinding headlights of his soon to be downfall. He should've known he couldn't have both you and the races. 

Once upon a time, Sunghoon would've chosen you over anything, but now he had his entire career to lose. He lost you as he sped towards the finish line, his black visors blocking the blue waves washing off of him. He was rendered colourblind the moment he no longer had you, his permanent red-coloured glasses staining his vision.

Sunghoon needed you back, but would he risk everything he has now to get you back? He once built you a castle made of cards, long before he was consumed with the storm whistling inside of him. He wasn't always the wind, he was once a delicate flower being held in your palms. But things were different now, your shared clock ticking in your ears as the rest of your castle slowly tumbled down. The cards were scattered, ready for Sunghoon to collect them once again.

But as he looked down he could only see one card, the back side laid against the grass beside his feet. The jack of hearts. A smile rose on his lips as the haunting red colour shone brighter than ever.

“Hey, I have a race in about half an hour” Sunghoon looked up at you from beneath his lashes, a nervous smirk on his face, “can you, uh, come?'' The deadpan stare you sported on your face made Sunghoon sheepishly raise his hand up to scratch at the back of his neck.

“I mean- it would mean the world to me if you showed up” He picked at the grass in the exact same spot where the card was laid out, the long shards ticking his fingers as he held his breath.

“Are you going to win?” You ignored his question, your head tilting to the side as you watched him in a narrowed gaze. A teasing smile kissing your lips as you watched him excitedly nod his head.

“I’ve always won for you.” And Sunghoon did. Every single race you were the only thing on his mind, his scenarios raising with the speed of his car. He would imagine you waiting for him at the end, your arms wrapping around him as soon as his door opened. The loud cheers coming up as nothing as he was cradled in your embrace.

In his mind he would hold you, your soft encouragements softening his batted mind. In his mind he built a life around your absence, creating his own version of you in replacement of his loneliness. 

In his mind he never had to choose between you or his career, he wouldn’t have left you in the middle of the night because he knew he wouldn’t be able to go with your pretty eyes staring back at him.

“Today won’t be any different” But it would be different, Sunghoon knew it would change everything. You would no longer but just a fragment of his delusions, but you would actually be standing there- for him. 

“I’ll have to see if I can make the time” And for the first time ever, you lied to his face.

#lvlyhanni #enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen ff #enhypen fluff #enhypen series #enhypen angst #enhypen sunghoon #kpop fluff #enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen street racer au #park sunghoon fic #park sunghoon angst #street racer au #kpop street racer au #park sunghoon street racer au #park sunghoon fluff #enha sunghoon #enha angst #enha fluff #enhypen park sunghoon #sunghoon scenarios #park sunghoon scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #park sunghoon oneshot #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x afab reader #street racer enhypen au

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Our Home (Azriel x Reader)

Hiiii. This one has long been in the works. It's the follow-up part to this little one I did called "Why Are You Still Here?"

Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Some alcohol use. Angst. Discussions surrounding mental health. Suggestion of infidelity.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You were not where you wanted to be. And you did not know where you fit anymore.

Solace had once been the home you’d made your own. It had once been the warmth and security of your mate’s arms. A life. A belonging.

It was never supposed to be dark, dingy taverns and drinking yourself to oblivion. You were aware of your hypocrisy — that you were now no better than Azriel, himself, had been.

But you didn’t know what else to do. How else to keep patching over the wound that was opening you up from the inside.

Three days and nights away from Azriel felt like three centuries. Three days and nights spent on Amren’s couch, your ears barely catching the way she groused at you about making things up with your mate — and getting out of her hair. You knew that she only had your best interests at heart; a swarm of concern wrapped up in sharp, barbed words and orders. 

Stop sulking, girl, and speak to your mate. Wallowing on the couch and taking up my space doesn’t do either of you any good. If he knocks on my door and asks to speak to you again, I’m letting him in this time. Stupid, foolish children in love.

You knew that she was right. You’d asked Az to give you a few days…and for what? So you could get yourself into a clear enough headspace to talk to him.

So, no, the wisest choice had not been to end up in a bar on the other side of town — but here you were. If Azriel could spend months upon months pushing you away, indulging in self-serving vices…so could you.

You whiled away the hours on refills of whiskey and off-kilter music and the presence of numerous males coming up to you and offering to buy you another drink — all of which you politely turned away. You weren’t there for attention, or to feel wanted…the mere thought of looking at somebody other than your mate—

It took you right back to the possibility that Azriel may have done just that. That he’d come stumbling home after hours of unexplained absence, stinking to the high heavens of booze and cloying perfume. You wanted — needed — to believe that there was some other, reasonable explanation. That there was no way the male tied to your soul would fall into the arms of somebody else.

But the truth was that you just did not know anymore. He’d successfully pushed you away enough to fill you with doubt.

The feeling was far worse than any battle wound. Far more excruciating than the critical injury you’d received during the war with Hybern. This pain was like a sickness, spreading through you, slicing at you, becoming you. This pain could tear you apart, limb from limb.

“The same again, please.” You rasped, sliding your empty glass towards the pretty barmaid. She eyed you cautiously before fulfilling your request. The amber liquid didn’t burn quite as much this time. 

But it seemed that no amount of alcohol was giving you the desired effect. Drink after drink after drink, and you still didn’t feel it seeping into your bones and blood and carrying you off to a place that wasn’t as painful. You may as well have been pouring the drinks straight onto the floor, rather than down your throat.

Still, you remained sitting at that same spot at the bar, nursing your drink and studying the nicks and callouses of your weapon-worn hands as your heavy thoughts bombarded you. Where would you sleep tonight? You were sure Amren would growl at you if you turned up at her door again. You could go to the River House, but you didn’t want to cause any disruption or upset for Nyx. And it seemed that both the House of Wind and the Town House were a no-go — that Az could be staying at either. Something told you that he was unlikely to be at the house you shared together, but…you didn’t want to go there, either.

Perhaps you would just drink yourself so stupid that you’d eventually curl up on a bench and fall asleep without feeling the cold.

The cold. It swept in, encasing you from behind as somebody entered the tavern, their heavy footsteps carrying across the wooden floor. You paid them no mind, not interested in the various other punters around you. You hunched over your drink, tracing your finger over the rim of the glass, and you didn’t bother to look up even when the stool was pulled out beside you.

“Before you say anything,” you murmured, too used, now, to the sleazy routine of the males around you, “no, you cannot buy me a drink.” 

“Good.” Azriel’s voice came quietly from beside you. “I don’t think it’d be wise for you to have another.”

That voice — deep and smooth and rich. A voice that had spoken countless I love yous, that had breathed quiet laughs at your shared, inside jokes, that had moaned your name in peace and pleasure. A voice that had always been a comfort to you.

It now twisted your stomach. Filled you with a sickening anxiety. You no longer knew what words would be spoken in that voice. You weren’t sure you were ready for them.

Your body tense, you slowly turned your head to meet your mate’s eyes. The look that sat on his face, in his hazel stare…it was one of beautiful agony. Of stunning, twisted devastation.

A flawless face marred by pain.

Azriel studied you, and you couldn’t help wondering what he saw on your face. Besides your cheeks being flushed from the alcohol, and your eyes red-raw from days of weeping. Whatever he found there…it made him flinch.

“What are you doing here?” You willed your voice to sound strong, but it was weak. Pathetic. 

“I followed your scent from Amren’s apartment to here.” He swallowed. “And given that this was where we had our first drink together…”

You looked around. Pretended that such a thought hadn’t dawned on you, even though that exact spot in the corner was where you and Azriel had sat for hours that first night, drinking and talking and laughing. 

You’d known, by the time that he’d walked you home, that you were going to spend the rest of your existence with him.

Or so you’d thought. You weren’t so sure, now.

“Finish your drink.” Azriel nodded to your glass. “We’re going home.”

You snorted, turning back to your glass. The liquid sloshed as you lifted it to your lips. “That’s not been home for a long while. It’s just…bricks and mortar and pain.”

He paused. “That’s not true.”

“Is it not, Azriel? You can’t seem to stand spending any time there, either—”

“I want to talk to you about all of this, Y/N.” He stared at you seriously. Pleadingly. “Just…not here. Please.”

Because Azriel was a staunchly private person.

And maybe he didn’t love you anymore. The thought — though complete agony — was entirely possible.

But he wouldn’t end your relationship in the same place it had begun. 

So you drained your glass, savouring the feeling of the liquid sliding down your throat. And then you set it down on the bar, and turned to face him.

“Where is your coat?” He studied the thin tunic and breeches that did nothing to keep out the cold.

You shrugged a shoulder. “Left it at Amren’s, I guess.” 

“It’s freezing outside.”

“Oh, now you care—”

The clearing of a throat stopped you both in your tracks. You glanced at the young barmaid who stared between the two of you uncomfortably. She had the same look that most people adopted in Azriel’s presence — awe and fear at their High Lord’s spymaster.

“I’m sorry, but,” she cleared her throat again, straightening out her shoulders, “if you two are going to have a domestic, I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside…”

Beside you, Azriel’s cheeks pinkened. “We’re not.” He said brusquely. “We’re leaving.”

Before you could offer your own response, he was tugging you from the barstool and draping his heavy jacket around your shoulders. It swamped you a ridiculous amount, and when he actually stopped in front of you to fasten the buttons, you scowled and stepped out of reach.

“I’m not a child.” You said. “Let’s just…go.”

It was hard to not feel like a child as you meandered your way to the door in that preposterously large coat, the arms swinging and the material swallowing you up. Azriel remained a step behind, following you out into the icy night air. You walked a few paces in a still silence, only stopping to face him when you were well out of earshot of the bar. 

“So.” It was instinctive — the way you wrapped his jacket around yourself. Not something you were wholly aware of doing. Though you were certainly aware of the way you very pointedly sniffed it, looking for some trace of that sweet scent you’d smelled before. But…nothing. “Which house do you want to finish with me in? Ours? The Town House? The House of Wind? We could go to the River House, but I don’t think Rhys or Feyre would appreciate the performance—-”

“Is that what you think?” Azriel cut you off, the pain on his face moulding into something stiller. Icier. “That I’m finishing our relationship?”

You shrugged. And you hated — utterly hated — being so confrontational. This wasn’t you. And some small part of it could be blamed on the alcohol, yes, but…mostly…mostly, you were just at your wit’s end.

After months of trying to reach him calmly, compassionately. Months and months of trying to talk to him gently, to get him to open up to you. It had gotten you nowhere.

You felt your only option, now, was to shuck off that soft, soothing exterior, and go hard. Go real. 

“I don’t know what to think,” you retorted. “You don’t speak to me anymore — besides the occasional grunt. And given that I’m not a gods-damned mind-reader—”

“I am not finishing things with you.” Azriel snapped — so loud, so harsh, so unlike him, that you stopped in your tracks. “Not now, and not ever.”

You stared at him, already feeling your hard demeanour slipping. The words — though a small relief — were hard to believe. Hard to believe, when he’d given you no indication for a long, long time that he even wanted you anymore.

You shrugged weakly, begging your eyes not to tear up. “But what kind of relationship is this, Az? Months and months of silence. Of coldness. What am I supposed to think?”

“...I’ve handled things so badly. But I’d like a chance to explain.”

Perhaps it was the muted pleading in his eyes, the hunching of his shoulders. How he looked the smallest he ever had. Or perhaps it was just because he was your mate…whatever the reason, you found yourself relenting. You swallowed, crossing your arms over your chest and silently nodding towards a bench that overlooked the river. Az dipped his chin in acknowledgement of the request and promptly followed suit. 

You sat, leaving distance between the two of you. Az tucked his wings in as tight as he possibly could; uncomfortable for him, you knew, but he was respectful of the fact that you wanted space. A small glimmer of the Azriel you’d always known and loved.

He seemed to suck in a slow breath, twisting his scarred hands around each other. You could feel the nerves that rolled off of him in waves. This – speaking and baring his soul — was perhaps harder for him than outright combat. 

You cleared your throat. “Before you start…I need to ask you something.”

Hazel eyes turned to study you. Azriel gave a small nod. 

“I have to know if you…” The words tasted sour and wrong in your mouth. In your whole body, in fact. You were sure a shiver shot through you as you blurted in one breath, “I just need to know if you fucked somebody else.”

Azriel paused — and then blinked at you.

Gaped at you, like the suggestion in and of itself was utterly absurd.

As if he hadn’t come home stinking of perfume. As if he hadn’t lied about his whereabouts when you’d asked. As if you were wrong to so much as think it, let alone voice it.

He shook his head, still blinking. “What?”

“Perhaps you were too drunk that night to remember.” Your lips pressed into a thin line. “You disappeared on me for hours, Az, like you always seem to these days. Then you come home smelling of perfume and lie to me that you’d been with Mor when I knew you couldn’t have been. So tell me. Honestly. Did you fuck someone who isn’t me?”

“Of course I didn’t. I would never do that to you. Do you know how sick it makes me feel, just thinking of being with someone other than you?”

He couldn’t possibly have a clue how much you needed to hear that. But they were just words. He’d done nothing to back them up for so, so long.

Your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him. “But you can’t seem to stand being with me, either.”

His own eyes shuttered — as though he was trying to block out your words. He slumped back on the bench, wings awkward and limp around him. You could see his chest heaving, hear his heavy breathing. 

“I don’t—” His voice cracked. “I’m no good with words. I’m no good with…with talking.”

“But I can’t take the silence or the loneliness anymore. Azriel, please—”

“I was with someone that night.”

He blurted the words in such a rush, you almost didn’t catch them. His hands squeezed into fists at his sides, as though the mere feeling of speaking so earnestly was like peeling his skin off.

You fell so, so still. Stared at him. Your stomach plummeted, twisted, and your voice didn’t sound like yours as you croaked out, “who?” 

“That night, I…I was with Madja.”

It was all you could do to stare at him. And as Madja’s face floated through your mind — the old, withered, beloved healer of Velaris…you could do nothing but stare. 

“Is that supposed to be funny?” You demanded.

Az stared down at his hands. “Of course not. A little while ago, I started regularly visiting Madja.”

“...Why? Are you injured?” Your eyes immediately searched him for anything you might have missed. And yet — nothing. 

He shook his head. “Physically, I’m fine, but…in here?” He tapped a finger to his forehead. Moved that finger down to sit over his heart. “And here? I’m…I’m not. I’m not fine.”

Those cold, hard walls you’d thrown up to get you through this conversation…you felt them falter a little. You swallowed, studying your mate. “I don’t understand, Az…”

Finally — finally — he angled his body towards yours. Faced you. And the raw emotion that lay in his eyes…you almost couldn’t bear it. It could cut you. Cut you into pieces and scatter you to the wind. 

Tears were clouding his vision, muddying that hazel into a watery run of colour. He blinked, his lips quivering as those tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks. It was second nature for you to reach out and wipe them away, but he stopped you in your tracks. Allowed his tears to run free as he held onto your hand like he may never get another chance. 

“When I try to sleep at night,” his voice cracked. “When I close my eyes — do you know what I see?”

You swallowed down your own emotion, shaking your head. You’d known of him sleeping fitfully, of course — if he bothered to sleep in the same bed as you at all. But you’d never been overly aware of it.

He blinked another wave of tears away. “I see you in that healer’s tent after the war, covered in blood. I hear—” He cut himself off, voice once again hitching with his emotion. “I hear your screams of pain. Your cries. I hear you begging someone — anyone — to make it go away. I see your face turning far too pale. And I hear, over and over and over again, the moment that Madja told me there was a chance you wouldn’t make it.”

You were unable to stop your own tears forming again. You squeezed his hand, face creasing with pain. “Azriel—”

“It haunts me.” He whispered. “Because what you and I have…I never thought I’d have this. I never thought I’d find my mate. I never thought I’d be able to have such happiness. So when Madja told me there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to save you…I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know how I was going to go on.”

“But she did save me, Az.” You scooted closer. “She did.”

“I just…I came so close to losing you. To losing the love of my life. It sent me spiralling into this mindset of being scared all the damn time. Every time you left the house, or I had to go on a mission…I was losing my mind with it, Y/N. And I was so terrified of ever feeling that way again that it seemed so much easier to push you away. I was too selfish to let you go completely. I thought if I could just…have you at arm’s length…at least until I sorted myself out…” 

You stared forward. Everything seemed to click into place as you rasped, “which was why you distanced yourself from me.”

Az nodded. And he was unable to stop the sob that broke from him. “But I just ended up hurting you. And I’m so sorry.”

You couldn’t bear a second longer of it — of seeing him so crushed, so defeated. And even though you, too, were a crying mess, you found the strength to slide into his lap. To wrap your arms around him and allow him to rest his head on your shoulder.

“You should have just told me how you were feeling.” You whispered, stroking his hair. His body heaved beneath you as he cried, raw and unguarded. “I would have listened. I would have helped. I love you.”

“And I love you.” He shook. “More than I could possibly put into words. But I was so scared of losing you. And ironically, in my efforts to avoid that…I’ve come so, so close to it happening.”

You shook your head. Lifted his until he was looking at you. And it was like that, his face inches from yours, that you promised him the same thing you’d promised long ago. “You will never lose me. Ever. You are my mate, and I am yours. We love each other, when we’re happy and fine, and when we’re not. This is our life, Azriel. We can’t avoid living it in some pointless bid to outrun death.”

For a moment, he just…studied you. As if your words cleared months and months of accumulated fog and cobwebs, and helped him to see what was right in front of him. That you were right in front of him.

You had survived the war. So had he. 

The two of you deserved to live — together. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am. A little while ago, I started to visit Madja for help with these feelings. I knew I couldn’t go on like this.” He explained. “But I don’t — I swear to you, I never went near anybody else. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.”

And you knew that. Gods, you knew it. You almost felt foolish for even thinking it, but…you supposed, like him, you’d gotten so far inside your head, you didn’t know the way out.

One thing did linger in the back of your mind, though. Torturing you a little. You swallowed, wiping Az’s cheeks free of tears as you asked, “what of the perfume you smelled of?” 

Again, his eyes shuttered. He bowed his head slightly to touch yours. “Check my jacket pocket.”

Frowning, you paused. And then slid your hands into both pockets of the jacket you still wore. It was in the front left one that your hand enclosed around what felt like a small, glass vial. You plucked it out, tilting your head. 

“Smell it.” Az instructed softly.

Your eyes met his. And slowly, you pulled the stopper out of the vial and lifted it to your nose. 

The smell hit you immediately. That same smell — undoubtedly — that had clung to his clothes that night. A little too sweet for your liking, slightly floral…you grimaced, stoppering the little bottle once more. “What is it?” You asked. 

“Madja has been helping me to open up…to get better at voicing my thoughts and feelings.” Azriel explained quietly. “And along with that, she made me this tonic. It has soothing properties that help me slip into a state of mind ready for a more peaceful sleep. That night you smelt it on me…it was the first time she’d given it to me. I’d applied it right before I’d entered the house, because I wanted to see how well I would sleep. If I could truly get past my nightmares.”

It was your turn for your eyes to shutter then. Guilt swarmed you, brash and unwelcome. “And I ruined your sleep by starting a fight and storming out.”

Azriel’s face turned serious. “You had every right to confront me the way you did that night. I should have told you sooner what was going on. That I was seeking help. I should have avoided hurting both of us like this.”

You sighed softly, tugging him closer once more. Your strange, complicated mate…the male you loved happily and proudly.

He’d been hurting. Struggling. You should have known.

But then…you’d been hurting and struggling, too. The aftermath of war wasn’t easy for anyone. It wasn’t a case of slipping back into your old life before you’d almost perished on that battlefield. 

You’d both become chewed up and spat out by your own respective grief from that time. And instead of communicating…you’d both taken your eye off the ball. Allowed deep feelings to fester. 

Never again. Never again would you allow this to happen.

“I think we’re all a little broken from the war, Az.” You brushed his hair from his face, staring at him earnestly. “But now that we know what we’re dealing with…we can heal. Together.”

His eyes threatened to well up again. And before you could see the tears form, he was leaning forward and planting a firm kiss against your lips. “I’m so sorry.” He apologised a third time. 

“Shh. No more of that.” You whispered, rocking him. “From this moment on, we move forward.” 

His arms held you tightly against him, warmth seeping into you. You didn’t know how long you sat there for, in each other’s arms, but as a breeze whipped over you, you felt your home calling. Coaxing the two of you back.

“Let’s go home, my love.” You kissed Azriel’s forehead.

He stared at you through wet lashes. “...To our home?”

Not Amren’s apartment. Not the River House or the Town House or the House of Wind.

“Yes.” You laced your fingers through his. “To our home.”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ azriel tag list:

@hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @emturtles @lostpirateinwonderland @kammsinn @localhopedealerr @pee-stachio @tobifeemo @torchbearerkyle @honeycriess @shadowsingersmate24 @azziessidehoe @camillo-420 @aztheshadowsinger

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #acotar fanfic #azriel #mating bond #a court of thorns and roses #azriel fluff #acotar fandom #acotar series #shadowsinger #spymaster #fluff #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #acotar smut #acotar writing #acotar fluff #acotar x reader #acourtofwhatthefuck

[coldfanbou]

Upon Approval

Day 17 we reach Day 17 with Rose and Jisoo. Who would've thought Rose would be so dominant.

Length 1.5K

Rose x Jisoo x Mreader

After a long day, you get home from work to an utterly dark house. Rose should’ve been home by now, you think to yourself. She had told you in the morning that there would be a big surprise for you waiting at home. A light turns on, and you spot Rose leaning against the wall while wearing a sheer nightgown. “Welcome home,” She says with a smirk. Rose begins walking over to you, swaying her hips with every step. She wraps her arms around you before giving you a kiss. “I have a surprise, but I need you to get out of these clothes, Mister.” You think about the possibilities; Rose had only a couple of hours after work to get things set up. Obviously, this was going to be sex, but you wondered what she had planned. She says, tugging on your shirt. Rose helps you undress; she walks around you. You feel her hands on your shoulder as she gets on her tippy toes to whisper something to you. “I’m going to blindfold you now; just follow along.” Rose blows air by your ear, making you shiver as she places the blindfold on you. You are led into your bedroom, where Rose has you sit in a chair. She takes hold of your hands and places them behind the chair, where she ties them together with a piece of fabric. You’re already hard; the anticipation is killing you as you wait for Rose to remove your blindfold.

“Ooh, you’re so hard already.” You feel her hand grasp your cock. She strokes it quickly, making precum leak. “Aww, it looks like you’re already gonna burst.” She says, teasing you. You hear her get down on her knees. “Do you want me to lick your big hard cock?” Rose says with sarcasm.

“Yes! Please!” Rose laughs as she hears you beg. 

“Alright, but you can’t cum until I tell you so.” You nod vigorously. Rose’s continues to stroke your cock, making you leak more precum. You feel her lips press against your cock; they’re slowly spread apart as she takes you inside. Rose stops once the head is in; her tongue drags itself along the head, slowly swirling around it. You moan loudly; her skilled tongue didn’t miss a spot. Rose just began, but you already feel yourself about to blow. She begins to bob her head, slow and rhythmic. Her tongue sits at the bottom of her mouth, sliding along your shaft. You can feel Rose rub the head of your cock on the inside of her cheek before she returns to bobbing her head. You let out a loud moan as you feel her suddenly swallow your entire cock. She’s pressing against your pelvis; you can feel her warm tongue against your balls. She pulls back slowly and coughs a few times. “Did you like that?”

“I love it.” 

“Good, let me do it again.” You feel Rose ram herself onto your cock repeatedly; her throat squeezes your cock tightly. You continue to moan and tell Rose you’re going to cum soon. “It’s okay, baby. You can cum. Cum inside.” You moan again and feel your blindfold coming off. Rose continues to slam herself on your cock; you can hear her gag on it. Your blindfold comes off; Rose had been loosening it with one hand. You look down and see her friend Jisoo being facefucked. She was the one giving you a blowjob, and currently, Rose was slamming the woman’s face into your crotch. “She wants your cum. Give it to her.” You let go and release the floodgates, pouring your cum down Jisoo's throat. It feels heavenly cumming down her throat. You always thought Jisoo was sexy, but with you dating Rose, you thought there would never be the chance to fuck her. She struggles mightily, cum fills her mouth before spurting from the corners of her mouth. It falls onto her body, coating her small breasts. Rose keeps Jisoo’s head by your crotch until you’re done. Once she removes her hand, Jisoo immediately pulls back and takes a deep breath. “Aww, look at the mess you made her,” Rose says, pulling Jisoo up by her hair. You see cum and saliva covering her mouth and running down her chin. Rose lets go of her, and Jisoo falls to the floor. She’s licking her lips, and one hand plays with her slit. You get hard again, watching her finger herself. “I don’t think he’s tired of you just yet.” 

Rose picks up Jisoo and places her on your lap, straddling you. Standing behind her, Rose reaches down and spreads Jisoo’s lips for you. “I know how much you always wanted to do this. I thought I’d give you the best gift.” She says while aligning Jisoo with your cock. She presses down on Jisoo’s shoulders, pushing her onto you. You feel your cock split her walls apart as her cunt swallows you in one smooth motion.” You both moan loudly. Jisoo’s walls squeeze your cock; her thin frame causes a visible bulge to be seen. She starts to bounce on your cock, and she drops herself onto your cock with force, wanting every inch inside. Rose turns Jisoo’s head and kisses her, their tongue clashing before Rose forces Jisoo to submit.

You begin to reach your climax, and Jisoo is reaching her peak, too. Hearing Jisoo’s whimpers grow louder, Rose lifts her friend off you just as you are about to cum. You feel robbed of your orgasm, and you’re desperate for it. Rose places her hand on your cock and strokes you quickly just as you're about to cum. She let’s go, denying you again. Rose walks behind you and undoes your binding. “If you're going to cum, it’s going to be in me.”  She whispers before kissing you. Rose turns you around and strokes your cock again, and denies you yet again. She smirks at you. “I have to let this guy calm down. I don’t want you to cum the moment you put it in.” Rose denies you any pleasure; you turn your head and see Jisoo kneeling on the floor, waiting patiently. “Don’t worry about her. I broke her in already.” As you turn back to Rose, you see her throwing off her nightgown. You consider Rose’s words for a moment before immediately forgetting when she touches your cock. “I think you’re ready.” Rose faces away from you.

Rose aligns your cock with her cunt and pushes her ass against you. You feel her tight cunt; massage your cock. The pleasure makes you groan as you rest inside Rose. You snake your hands around her body. That’s when you notice the mirror Rose had set up. You see her smirk, “Do you like it? You can even see Jisoo acting like a good girl.” Rose says in moans as you thrust into her. “I love watching this.” She says with a smile. Rose focuses on herself, watching her small breasts bounce, and her nectar begin to leak from her cunt. “Jisoo, come.” 

Jisoo crawls before Rose and kneels back down in front of her. “Eat me.” Jisoo follows her orders and begins to eat Rose. Her tongue circles Rose’s clit, and Jisoo laps at your cock, cleaning it of Rose’s nectar. You moan louder; you are enjoying Jisoo’s tongue, but you’re also nearing your climax. Rose has a satisfied smirk on as she revels in the feeling of Jisoo’s tongue and your cock flooding her with pleasure. She shouts at the top of her lungs as she cums. Rose’s wall tightens around you.

“I’m going to cum.” You moan loudly. Rose pushes herself off your cock. 

“Not like that.” She turns around and lifts her leg up. You get the hint and hold it while she presses the head of your cock against her cunt. “Do it, fill me up with your cum.” You ram your cock inside of Rose once more and immediately cum. You’re buried inside her as you explode; your seed shoots into her womb. You groan, happy that you finally got to cum after being teased for so long. You pull out slowly and head to your bed, where you fall. 

Rose stays standing and commands Jisoo to eat her out. Jisoo attaches her mouth to Rose’s cunt. Her tongue pushes in, cleaning the younger woman’s cunt of your cum. Jisoo savors the taste. She holds onto Rose’s thighs as the younger woman pushes her head forward. “That’s a good girl; clean me up,” Rose says. She has her head tilted back, and eyes closed as she focuses on the pleasure. “I’ll make sure you can have your orgasm some other time. You needed to do better with your blowjob.” Rose pinches her nipple and rolls it between her fingers. “I think that’s enough for now.”

Rose looks back at you and smiles before climbing into bed. “Did you like your birthday gift, baby?” You nod your head.

#kpop smut #male reader #m reader #blackpink smut #rose smut #jisoo smut

[hotchgirlsummer]

i'm a mess but

⤷ aaron hotchner x reader

summary ⤷ Aaron has this date all planned out but things seem to fall apart and they're forced to improvise.

pairing ⤷ aaron hotchner x fem!bimbo!reader

warnings ⤷ fluff! slight angst - reader opens up about her horrible dates. aaron mentions haley, her death, and how he feels about it (briefly). not a warning but jack and jess make an appearance!

word count ⤷ 7k words

a/n ⤷ HELLLOOOOOO! i wasn't really expecting the first part to blow up but the support and love i received in my first bimbo!reader fic was so overwhelming 🥺🥺🥺 thank you to everyone who read the first one and i hope this second part lives up to your guys' expectation and to your liking. i received three requests involving aaron and bimbo!reader so i'll be working on the two before incorporating the third request in part three of this saga! also i have a possible plot for spencer reid x bimbo!reader and i'm trying to gauge if you guys would be interested in that? as always, feedback is appreciated. have a day as fantastic as yourselves!!! ❤️❤️

masterlist | part one: mess of mine

✪

“And just as a reminder, we will be having the weekends off for this month as Strauss has deemed we deserve a break after the continuous cases that took away most of our time,” Hotch reiterates before they end their final meeting for the week. This announcement was met with cheers and applause by the rest of the team. “Anyway you can have them extend our weekends off for the next, say, 12 months?”

This time Hotch cracked a smile as he gathered his files and into his folder as he shook his head, “Only way you can have that is by making a wish to a genie.” The team looked among themselves, each of their faces etched with surprise and amusement as they rarely got to witness their unit chief ride in on their jokes; behind their entertained expressions, they were curious as to what prompted this change. Rossi schooled his expression as well, despite knowing about the cause for Aaron’s welcome change in demeanor, he knew that his friend wanted to share the little ray of sunshine he found on his own terms. “If there’s nothing else, you all are dismissed for the rest of the week. Have a good one.”

As the team slowly dispersed out of the room, Hotch found Rossi smirking at him to which he raised an eyebrow at him, “Penny for your thoughts, Dave?” To which the mentor looked around the round table to ensure that everyone but them had left, “So, I’m assuming tonight’s the first date then?”

The faintest shade of red littered Aaron’s cheeks as he nodded and exited out of the room, “Tonight is the first date, yes. I’m picking her up after her shift at 7.”

Rossi looks at his watch and smiles upon seeing that their unit chief had a solid hour prior to picking up his date for the night. “Normally I’d wish someone good luck on their first date,” Hotch appreciated in that moment how Rossi leaned into his ear to whisper that as to not catch the attention of the nosy profilers, “But something tells me you would not need it in this scenario. Have a great weekend, Aaron.”

“You too, Dave. Try sticking to one jazz club this time, yes?”

Chuckling when Rossi flipped him off, Aaron hurriedly packed all of his things in his briefcase before heading out of the office. As he waited impatiently for the elevator to bring him to the floor of their parking lot. Turning on the radio, Hotch found himself smiling upon hearing a pop song — that he once was not familiar with until he started talking with Y/N. What started as constant texts, transitioned into hour long phone calls where their topics of conversation ranged from her opinions on how the internet’s influence on fashion trends have both been good and bed, her singing him the new song she had stuck in her head — which explains how he was now familiar with a lot of the songs that were played in the radio — but the one thing that seems to be a constant subject is how he would look good in certain styles of clothing.

Once home, he was delighted to see that Jack had been all cheery from his day at school and soccer practice. He indulges in his son’s excited recollection of his day, relishing in the giggles he let out everytime his son praised the dinner that was prepared for him; though it was just chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, and some fries, he supposes that if it were made with love it would taste like a fine meal. It was like time passed by quickly after their meal as Jack was already bathed and dressed in his jammies before 6:45. After a quick chat with Jess, he was out the door and anxiously driving to the boutique. Once parked right out by the store, he was just in time to see his sweetheart exiting the front door and closing the aluminium security shutters. Jumping out of the car, he surprised her by gently pulling her back and lowering the shutters. “Aaron!” Came her surprised giggle, hugging his arm and looking at him like he was her whole world. “You’re here!”

“I did promise to take you out on a date, right?” He teased once he was sure the chutters were secured. Chuckling, she nodded her head as she smiled widely, “You did! And I was so excited for our date, you know? Phoebe got so annoyed with me talking her ears off about how handsome you were and how nice you are.”

Grateful that she was too busy rambling so she couldn’t witness Aaron blushing, he walked her to his car, opening the passenger door to reveal a bouquet of pink and white flowers; handing them to her with a smile he spoke, “For you, sweetheart.”

“Aaron! They’re so pretty!” She squealed excitedly and threw her arms around him, nuzzling her face in his shoulder, “Thank you, thank you! You’re spoiling me way too much already!”

“Well I have to, sweetheart,” He explained as he helped her in the car before quickly jogging to the driver’s side and continuing on, “Have to treat you like a queen, you know?”

“Does that mean you’re my handsome king?” Her question had him reciprocating the sweet smile she had on before reaching for her hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles and affirmed, “I’ll be whatever you need me to be, sweetheart.” And in turn, that made heat spread throughout her face.

The drive to the restaurant was short yet filled with so much light and conversation. Stepping out of the vehicle once Aaron opened the door for her, she smiled at him, “Thank you, Ay-ay-ron.”

Before entering the restaurant, the couple were met with views of disgruntled customers, some of them having wet stains on their dresses while others seemed to have  food stains on them. Puzzling her, she looks up at Aaron, “I wonder if they’re alright.”

They were about to find out for themselves upon reaching the host’s stand and announced their arrival, “Reservation for Hotchner, please.” The host who had their back turned faced them with an uneasy smile as they too were trying to rid the blemishes and food stains that unfortunately clung onto his work clothes; he looked down on the their tablet that served as their scheduler and frowned upon looking up at them, “I have to sincerely apologise, Mr. Hotchner. There has been an unfortunate incident, one of our servers tripped which caused this domino effect to the other servers, causing them to drench our customers and staff in food. Not to mention that one of our new chefs in training caused an identical chaos at the back.”

“You can use a butter knife to get rid off the food there,” She pointed to both the host’s shoulders that had some food residue that looked very well edged in the fabric; next thing she noticed wine stains by their chest, “And for the wine, putting hydrogen peroxide and dishwashing liquid in the stain for about ten minutes will get it out.” The way she shared the information so casually paired with the way she tilted her head to the side and pursed her glossy lips made it all the more surprising that she new what to do; but beside her, Aaron felt nothing but pride swell in his chest as he pressed her closer to him by her waist. 

“I appreciate your advice, ma’am,” The host then faced Aaron once more before saying, “Unfortunately we are not in any capacity to entertain our beloved guests for the rest of the evening. We’ll put a note to put you in our priority list for next time if that sounds fair?” Nodding as he held back a frown of his own, the unit chief understood that things were past their control, “That would be much appreciated, thank you.”

With that the couple then left the restaurant, Aaron tried to school his features as he tried to hide the panic in his face; however as Y/N looked up to see him she pouted as she saw that there was a slight furrow in his eyebrows. Reaching up to rub the skin between them she cooed, “Don’t frown, Aaron. Why are you even frowning?”

Almost immediately a smile replaced the mentioned frown as he explained, “Well since the restaurant is a bust, I’m sensing that I’ve just wasted your time, sweetheart. The date’s pretty much ruined already.” Her offended gasp took him aback, causing them to stop just as he was about to open his car door for her, “Well good thing a dinner is not the only you go out for a date! Plus, you just saved me, you know?”

“Saved you from exactly what, sweetheart?”

“From having a fancy dinner! Don’t get me wrong, the décor looks amazing and all, but sometimes their menu is so hard to pronounce too! Like just say roasted, why use sweltering? And don’t get me started on their alcohol — bordeaux, wine, brandy? It’s all just so confusing,” As he walked her to the passenger seat and helped her in, he just chuckled lightly as he tried to console her, “They do tend to differ in ingredients and alcohol percentage.”

“Even you get it,” She whines out to which he now smoothed the furrow she had which quickly disappeared upon feeling his touch in her skin. Swiftly moving to the driver’s side, Aaron looked at her with a soft expression before asking, “Why don’t I get your mind off of it then? How would you like to spend our time together?”

His heart melted at the excited grin she had as she thought deep about how to spend their date before rambling, “We could go bowling in this place on 6th Avenue, oh but they have league games today. Oh! How about we go to this drive-in theatre just by the outskirts of town?” Just as he was about to agree to her suggestion she pouted once more, “But wait, their movie for tonight is a kid’s one, Megamind, I think.” Her excited gasp accompanied by her light taps to Aaron’s shoulder made it evident how excited she was by her current idea, “We could go right into the city centre! They have different kinds of food trucks this day of the week!”

“You sure that’s what you want, sweetheart?” He got her affirmation as she buckled her seatbelt up and nodded, “Sure do, Aarbear! I heard there was a food truck that would sell raspberry and cherry cotton candy.”

“Aarbear?” He questioned the nickname although he could not deny the warm feeling that washed over him upon being granted to him. She hummed, “Ever since we last saw each other, I’ve been thinking of cute nicknames for you; since you call me sweetheart. Aarbear is my favourite just because you remind me of a teddy bear. Just so snuggly and cute.”

“Snuggly and cute? Sweetheart, have you taken a good look at me? I’m the farthest thing from that don’t you think?” Aaron playfully countered as he relished in their playful banter. “You know what? Yeah, I have taken a good look at you and if I say so for myself you always look dashing and,” Her train of thought was cut off when she gasped out loud and saw the coat he was wearing, “And I thought I told you to wear the pink suit I got you! Why didn’t you?”

By that time, they had already reached the public parking that was allocated for the food truck event, Aaron looked at her chuckling as he thought she wasn’t serious about her little plan for the pink suit she gifted him; but upon seeing her expression which consisted of a frown with her wobbly lips and a furrowed brow, he knew that it was serious and important to her. Hoping to appease her feelings, Hotch then lifted his hand up to rub on her cheek gently and as she nuzzled herself deeper into his warmth, “I’m sorry, sweetheart. But I might have mentioned it before, but I don’t really know how to pair up clothes, you know? That’s why my suits and slacks have always matched.”

Placing her chin centre on his palm, she shoots him a smile as her upset expression now melting into an excited one as she speaks, “Does that mean I get to dress you up? I get to rifle through your wardrobe?” Removing herself from his hold, they both tried to ignore how empty it felt when they were not within each other’s reach; but to help diminish the emptiness they felt Y/N then laced her hand with his large one and grinned, “Next time we go out for a date, we go to your house first so I can dress you up and make you even more handsome! Oh there’s this new sweater line that came out and I wanna see how the sweater brings out the brown in your eyes.”

“Already planning our next date, sweetheart? You already want me around you that much?” Unsure of whether he can handle the truth of her answer, Aaron kissed her knuckles as he made his way out of the car and opened the passenger door for her. Leaping out to wrap her arms around his large figure as she hummed against his shoulder, “I sure do, Aarbear. So hopefully you don’t get sick of me right away.”

“I don’t think I could ever get sick of you, sweetheart,”  Aaron reassured her as they began walking towards the plethora of food trucks that were present in the little festival going on, “Besides, the only thing I plan on getting sick on is a ton of cotton candy. Was raspberry your favourite flavour?”

Failing to hide how giddy she was at his sincere revelation, she smiled as she laced her fingers with his and dragged him to where the food truck that sold cotton candies were. “I do like the grape-flavoured ones, do you have a favourite?” It was in that moment that Aaron wished he had a camera permanently lodged into his brain so he could capture the way her eyes sparkled as she inquired more about his interests. He hummed as they stood in line in front of the food truck, “I don’t think I’ve explored enough of these flavours to have a definite favourite.”

Her gasp paired with the soft tap on the shoulder was another thing that was quickly becoming a favourite of Aaron’s. Upon reaching the front of the line, Y/N took charge and ordered three kinds of cotton candy. As she reached down for her wallet, she was caught off guard at how quick her date was in tapping his own credit card against the machine. 

“Aaron! Why didn’t you let me pay?”

The two walked a few feet away and sat down on the bench nearby before he smiled and pinched some cotton candy and offered it to her, “Now what kind of man would I be if I even let you touch your wallet throughout our date?” 

Returning the favour by feeding him some cotton candy as well, she pursed her lips as she concluded, “A handsome gentleman, still. And don’t ever think differently.” From there on they fell into an easy conversation which ranged from childhood shenanigans to workplace happenings. For Y/N this was a complete 360 switch to see Aaron’s eyes crinkled in joy and his posture relaxed; seeing him so serious and stiff on their first meeting gave her the impression he’d be too uptight. In her mind, she’d do anything to keep the beautiful smile on his face. “Wait, so Garcia was able to access the file that I didn’t know the password to?”

“Took her less than five minutes to do that, sweetheart,” Aaron informed her as the two wiped their mouths of any crumbs and threw the container in the trash before strolling once more to get more food, “What else are you in the mood for?”

“Can we get some tacos? It’s been quite a while since I’ve had some,” With that Aaron led the way as he spotted the specific truck sooner, “So Garcia can hack into anything?” As they stood in line in front of other patrons, Y/N made sure to only whisper her question so as to not attract any unwanted attention from curious ears, something that did not escape Aaron’s observant nature and something he appreciated.

“Absolutely, it only takes her about ten minutes to do so. There’s rarely anything she can’t crack,” He answers, however he’s left more puzzled as she stands on her tiptoes and whispers in his ear, “Do you think she can hack into something for me?”

“What exactly do you need to get hacking into, sweetheart?”

At that, her glossed up lips — which compared to last time that was a soft red shade, this time around she had a flushed pink hue with a slight shimmer to it — formed a pout as her eyebrows furrowed in frustration as she recounts, “Because I signed up for Snapchat a year ago and then now I forgot which password I used to it, it reached to a point where I’ve tried so many times that they told me I’m no longer allowed to try guessing. And I wanna get access back to it because everytime I take a cute selfie of myself I send it there.”

 By the end of her story, they reached the front of the line and Aaron paused their conversation for a while to order for the two of them; his heart fluttered when Y/N patted his shoulder gently as she whispered, “Extra cheese on mine, please.”

Once they were handed their food, the two stepped away and once again found a bench to give them privacy. Before even taking a bite from her taco, she faced him and her face was once again etched with concern, “So? Do you think Garcia will help me? I can give her a cute little outfit in the boutique if she does. Or whatever else she wants, promise.”

Smiling at her as he allowed his first bite to go down before replying, “I’m sure she’d love to assist you even without the promise of repayment.” She was midbite when she looked up at Aaron, cheese at the side of her mouth as she seemed confused with what he meant before he clarified as he wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin, “I’ll let her know you need help, sweetheart.”

Shrieking out of excitement wasn’t the only way she expressed her relief but also with the way she tried her best to wrap her arms around him without causing both their tacos to crack as they hit the ground, “Thank you, Aar! Can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that! Do you think Garcia will like cupcakes or cookies more? I’ve been meaning to bake since it’s been a while, you know.”

“I know for a fact she wouldn’t mind either one, sweetheart,” He leaned closer as if he was sharing a secret and whispered in her ear, “But I do know you and her will get along well.”

Her nose scrunched up in excitement as she shimmied her shoulders in a little dance, “You did mention she likes little quirky gadgets and she dresses a lot like I do. Maybe she and I can go shopping sometime? You mentioned you work with other ladies too right? Alexa and GG?”

“Alex and JJ, sweetheart,” He gently corrects her as threw his napkin after finishing his taco in the nearby bin, “But yes, I’m sure they’d love to meet you. Maybe in the near future we can set that up?”

Her excited nod caused some of the taco sauce to spread past her lips, prompting Aaron to wipe the sides of her mouth as she replied, “Do you think they’d like me though? Some people I’ve met before say I’m too much or you know,” The slight pause between her train of thought made him worry about what previous perceptions were about her so he encouraged her on, “Know what exactly, sweetheart?”

Perhaps it was the way he gently coaxed her or the way he rubbed her back was full of care but it got her talking as she mentioned, “It’s just, people like my friends say that I’m dumb, that I’m no fun to be around with,” She sniffled a little which proved to be the wrong thing to do as it accidentally got some sauce on her nose, to which she scowled a little and threw the wrapper away and she felt a sudden wave of shyness take over her as Aaron was quick to wipe by her nose, “I don’t have very many people who stay — except for my family, I guess, but they don’t really have that much of a  choice — so I don’t know,” She looks up at him and it was only then that Aaron got a good look of her eyes that had a glimmer of both hope and sadness, “I’d really like for you to stay, Aar.”

“I’d like that too,” Came his immediate reply as he brought her into his warm embrace, tucking her head underneath his chin as he tried to get across every ounce of affection he had had for her, “I promise I’ll keep you close to me, sweetheart.”

Slightly detaching herself from his hold to take a good look on his face, she smiled up at him, “Have I ever mentioned that you’re one of the most handsome men in the world? If not the most? Like, inside and out,” She pulled away fully from his embrace and frowned as she recalled her statement, “No wait, I don’t think it works that way. Do you mind being called beautiful? I know some guys are uncomfortable with that. Or maybe I can call you a pretty boy?”

Shaking his head at her silly antics he just kissed her forehead and teased her, “I thought Aarbear was the nickname you had for me?”

“I guess that’s just one of the struggles for when you’re the most perfect man in the world, hm? Having too many options for a nickname since you’re everything good,” she giggled. 

Just as he was about to reply with some sort of a witty comeback, the shrill tone of his phone broke them out of their trance. Dread filled his gut immediately at the thought of a case whisking him away from a great date; he shot her an apologetic expression before saying, “Sorry,” And answering the phone and being pleasantly surprised that it was just Jess calling, “Jess? Is everything alright?”

Deciding to keep herself preoccupied while Aaron tends to his call, Y/N mindlessly grabbed for his free hand and slowly traced over the lines on his hand and smiled upon noticing how much larger his hand was and when she lined up her hand against his, she rubbed the skin of it and realised that she could get used to the warm feeling of his touch.

“I’m sorry about that, sweetheart,” Aaron apologised as he pocketed his phone and that seemed to break her out of her trance as she looked up at him and mirrored the small frown he was sporting, “That was Jess, she’s the aunt of my son. She said he awoke from a nightmare and won’t calm down. Apparently, he’s been asking for me and refuses to go back to sleep until he sees me.” 

“Then you should go to him,” Was her instant reply as she stood up on her feet and held out her hand for him to take, “Let’s go to your sweet boy, Aarbear.”

Taking her by the hand, he smiled at her as he led the way back to the car he decided to check in with her, “I’m sorry to spring this on you, sweetheart, but I’m a single father to a five year old.”

Upon being helped into the passenger seat she waited for Aaron to buckle himself in beside her before asking, “So what’s he like? And what’s his name?” The unit chief could not hold back the smile from how sincere she was in her curiosity. “Jack is a talented soccer player, he’s slowly getting into music and he can’t wait to audition for their spring play. I will say though he takes a lot of traits from his mom, which might be a good thing for him, honestly.”

Scoffing in offence, she gently scolded him, “Do not talk about yourself in that way, Aarbear! You’re smart, kind, funny, always keeping alert and all that. You have a lot of good qualities, you know.” There was a comfortable silence that took over for a few minutes before they were at a red light where it got Y/N thinking, “Wait, so if you have a son he has a mother, right?”

“I do believe that is how biology works, sweetheart,” His lighthearted joke was his attempt to soften the upcoming difficult conversation they were definitely going to have  in light of her recent discovery of his son. 

“Where is his mom then? Wait,” She panicked as she looked at him and gently held onto his forearm, “Oh God, please don’t tell me I’m making you cheat on your wife. That I’m not the other woman.”

Her somber pout while adorable made his heart clench as he realised she was concerned about what Haley meant to him as it shows how serious their relationship is to her. So he reached over the console and rubbed her knee comfortingly, “You’re not the other woman, sweetheart. Jack’s mother, Haley, is not in the picture.”

“Why not? Is she okay?”

Her kind nature came through once more and every time Aaron has a glimpse of it, it makes him feel like he’s in this trance-like dream where his dream woman came to life by merely manifesting it. “She unfortunately passed away. We had this unsub — bad guy — who went after me and my family.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Aar,” Y/N sympathized once Aaron was parking his car in their assigned stall. Once parked he looked at her and there was a slight tremble in his lips as he shared with her, “She was killed, and he was about to go after Jack but I was able to put a stop to it before doing so.”

“You saved Jack,” She reminded him of his heroic act as she smoother over his trembling lips with her thumb as she tried to comfort him the same way he did her everytime she nearly spiralled into overthinking negatively, “You didn’t kill Haley, the bad guy did. That’s not your fault, okay?”

Slightly rotating his head so he could press a quick kiss to her palm, he smiled at her, “Thank you for that reminder, sweetheart; I needed that.” 

Feeling the heat creeping up her cheeks she smiled too and grinned before gasping out, “Wait, we’re here already, right?” At his confirming hum, she then quickly said, “We need to get to your boy!”

Aaron found himself frowning not because their moment was cut short, but he was unable to open the door for her and escort her out of the vehicle. Upon reaching the elevator of the building, he noticed Y/N was bouncing on her heels as if she were nervous. Just as he was about to check in on her, the elevator had a soft ping and opened the doors to reveal that they were on their floor. Gently placing his hand behind her back, he led her to their apartment and he hated that his sweaty hands slightly dampened her dress; but she didn’t seem to mind it and instead unknowingly calmed him down by smiling brightly at him.

Upon entering their living space, Aaron could vaguely hear Jess keeping Jack occupied by talking to him. “Jack? Buddy? I’m home,” Aaron called out gently as he made his way by the hallway while Y/N settled by their couch as she didn’t want to intrude any more than she already had.

Almost instantly the sound of pitter patter of tiny feet, “Dad!” Jack ran towards his father’s embrace and Aaron opened his arms as he allowed his son to nuzzle into his neck and carry him. “How are you feeling, bud? Aunt Jess said you couldn’t go to sleep?”

He rubbed his eyes with his hands as he frowned, “Yes, had a nightmare, dad. I was so scared I couldn’t get back to sleep with you.” As Jack laid down his head on his father’s shoulder that’s when he noticed a pretty girl sitting. “Who is she, dad?”

Y/N smiled warmly as she waved, Aaron sat him and his son on the armchair near the sofa she was sitting at and mentioned, “This is Y/N, she’s my friend, Jack.”

“Nice to meet you, Jack,” She held out his hand for a shake and while she understood that kids are naturally shy, especially around people they’re unfamiliar with, she was thoroughly surprised when he shook her hand and had a shy smile on his cute little face.

“Hi Y/N, I’m Jack,” When he retracted his hand she took a good look at him before mentioning, “You look like a princess.”

Indulging him she then leaned a little closer and playfully whispered, “Don’t say it out loud, this princess just snuck out to meet with her prince.” Jack giggled at her silly reply and mirrored her actions and came a little closer, “And? Where is he? Did you get your happily ever after?”

“Not yet,” She replied as she shyly smiled and took a quick glance at Aaron, “The story isn’t done yet. But you do know what a princess needs? A knight of shining armour who can be her best friend! Can we be friends, Jack?”

Looking up at his father, he shot Aaron a questioning look and inquired, “I know Y/N’s your friend but can I be her friend too?” Feeling his heart warm up at the way how gentle and considerate Y/N was to Jack — knowing that she couldn’t automatically assume Jack will see her as a friend and instead she’d have to earn it — paired with Jack’s interest in getting to know her, he smiled down at his son as he steadied his grip on his growing toddler who seemed to be wiggling a little at the excitement of having a new friend, “I’m more than alright with that, Jack. But it’s up to you, okay, bud?”

Nodding at his father before facing Y/N once more, Jack showed her his toothy grin that came out every time his father told him a silly joke before concluding, “I’d love to be your knight friend, Y/N. Does that mean we’ll go on adventures?”

Giggling and clapping her hands in delight, Y/N nodded before calming down and saying, “We sure can, Sir Jack! But maybe after you’ve had a good night’s sleep? That way we both will be energised and ready for whatever adventure comes our way?”

Right on cue, Jack let out a little yawn that Aaron partially thought Y/N induced out of him by mentioning he had to sleep, “Okay, I can’t wait for our adventure already!”

“After a good night’s sleep, okay, bud? I’m gonna put you to bed now,” Jack didn’t fight his father much and instead curled his arms around his neck, signalling that he wanted to be carried back to bed. As Aaron stood up, Jack unclasped one of his hands and waved at Y/N and smiled, “Bye, princess Y/N.”

“Sweet dreams, Sir Jack.”

Once the two men disappeared into the hall, Jessica came into view and walked towards her. Taking initiative Y/N reached out for her hand and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Y/N. Aaron mentioned you were Jack’s aunt.” 

Shaking her hand, she confirmed, “Yeah, I’m Jessica. I’m Jack’s mom’s sister. Did he mention Haley to you?”

A sincere, sombre expression washed over her face as Y/N pulled Jess in for a hug, “He did, and I’m so sorry about what happened to her. From what he’s told me, Haley was such a lovely soul.” Noticing that Jess tensed slightly at the hug but relaxed because she didn’t realise how good a hug can be from someone earnest; which is why Jess was puzzled when they pulled away and Y/N had a frown. “I didn’t ask first before hugging you, sorry ‘bout that. My family did always say I was such a big hugger.”

“Don’t worry about it,” The blonde woman reassured her as she reached out and held Y/N’s hand, “I appreciated the hug and your kind words.” Beaming brightly at that, she looked down at their hands and her sharp eye couldn’t miss the blouse Jess was wearing and noticed, “Are you wearing Nanette Lepore?” Taking her aback, Jess then had her mouth open in surprise as she was unsure how to respond to that. Y/N, however, took this opportunity to babble on, “You have a good eye! She really shocked everyone when she revealed that her fall spring collection was mostly going to be perfumes but I was really excited to buy one, but shipping costs are a pain in the butt.”

“I’m sorry but our conversation took quite a turn here,” Jess tried to steer their conversation and Y/N smiled as she explained, “Oh sorry, I get so excited when the topic is fashion and all that. I work at a boutique, always thinking about designing my own clothes, but I don’t know.”

It was then that Aaron walked in the room, “Sorry for the delay, Jack requested quite a few stories tonight.” Placing a hand on his date’s shoulder and facing Jess with a tight-lipped smile, “Jess, I appreciate you looking out for Jack tonight. I was out on a date with Y/N earlier and I hope that it won’t  cause too much of an issue between us.”

Jess appreciated Aaron’s vulnerability at the moment as she knew how bad her brother-in-law’s mindset and confidence was following Haley’s passing. He was deep in his belief that he was unable to open up to someone and if he ever did, they’d walk out on him after having a good, long conversation with him. Reaching out to rub his forearm that she couldn't  help but notice was colder than usual before smiling, “I know, Aaron. And can I say just how lovely Y/N is.”

“Oh oh, before I forget,” Y/N reached for her bag and fished for something and made her way back over to them and handed a card to Jess, “Next time, please do swing by in the boutique. I’d love to give you some clothes that will really go well with your style! Plus, it’d be fun just chatting up with you and there’s a cute little cafe nearby too.”

Taking the calling card and looking at it first before pocketing it, Jess smiles as she hugs Aaron and gives the same affection to Y/N before parting ways, “I’ll definitely give you a call when I can swing by, okay? Enjoy your evening, guys.”

As she was putting on her coat and slinged her bag over her shoulder she looked at Aaron, “Oh and Aaron?” The man raised his eyebrows and just as he was about to ask what’s wrong Jess winked at her, “I think you found yourself a keeper.”

With that, Jess allowed the two lovebirds their privacy, the two snuggled with each other on the couch but just as they made each other comfortable Y/N looked up at Aaron and had another confused pout, “What did Jess mean when she said you found a keeper? Did you lose a tupperware container?”

Aaron chuckled lightly at her question before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead and shrugged, “I’m not too sure too, sweetheart. I’ll ask her the next time she swings by.”

Deciding to let go of the topic, she then nuzzled her cheek into his chest as her hand mindlessly drew random shapes on his chest; it was Aaron that broke the silence by apologising, “I’m sorry our first date didn’t exactly go as planned. I’ll make it up to you next time, I promise.”

Looking up at him through her lashes she smiled at him and gently shook her head, “It’s okay, Aarbear. I had fun at the food truck festival. If I only knew I was going to be meeting sweet boy Jack, I’d buy him a few cotton candy flavours.”

“I’m sure your sweet personality made up for the lack of treats you gave him, sweetheart,” He tickled her sides gently to elicit giggles from her and when she did he wished he recorded it as it was such a joyous sound, “Besides, he will be looking forward to some princess-knight adventures you two will be having.”

“Is that okay with you though? I’ve read some stories where kids don’t like it when their parents date someone else. I don’t wanna come across as evil or anything,” She worried and now she stopped her movements and just looked at Aaron with worried eyes. 

This time it was Aaron who had his hand rubbing her back gently to coax her back into her relaxed state, “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t worry about that. Did you see how at ease Jack was when you were talking to him earlier? I don’t see any scenario where he would treat you unkindly and you to him.”

Nodding her head softly she then leaned against his shoulder once more as she said, “Okay, but if he ever tells me or you that he needs some space from me, I’m gonna do it. And you can’t stop me from doing it.”

Humming as a reply, Aaron appreciated how Y/N was respectful of Jack’s boundaries. They were basking in a comfortable silence before Y/N asked, “Did you really have a great time with me, Aar?”

“Of course,” Came his immediate reply, “Did I give the impression that I didn’t?” He felt calm when she gently shook her head and sighed out before sadly recollecting, “No, you didn’t. But I just went on dates before where it ended up with them just calling it a night right away. They’d mutter under their breath that they can’t handle being around me for any longer.”

Her quiet sniffles had him fearing that she thought this was how their relationship too was gonna go; choosing to reassure her, he lifted her chin with his hooked finger and looked serious yet loving as he spoke, “I’m sorry to hear you’ve been on terrible dates with terrible boys. But let me reassure you that I do not, in any way, think of you in that way. Can I tell you a secret?”

Looking at him with curious eyes she nodded as he took his queue to reveal to her, “You bring so much happiness and joy in my life. I don’t think you can ever be those mean things that they said. In fact, I think you’re all I could ever need and want.”

Having to bite back her smile as she tried to not show how his words affected her she smiled and leaned in to press a kiss on his cheek, “You’re too sweet to me, Aaron.” She bit her lip before continuing her train of thought, “Would it be too soon to say that I like you a lot? Like, I know it’s only been nearly two weeks since we’ve talked to each other but you make me so happy. Whenever I get a text from you I smile so wide, it even got to the point where Phoebe has to tell me to stop smiling and giggling too much because it might creep out other customers.”

Laughing along her story as she did so, he shook his head as he shared, “I feel what you mean, sweetheart. I have to be careful of my reactions everytime my phone rings because of you. Which is hard to do around profilers.”

“Wait, profilers? Is that the ones who try to understand the bad guys or the ones who just do the research on how to find the bad guy?”

Chuckling as he found her confusion unfortunately adorable he clarified, “We do a little bit of both, sweetheart.” She gasps out loud as she frowns, “You do both? That sounds exhausting!”

“Well thinking of you does make me feel less tired, sweetheart,” Rubbing her cheek softly as he took in her features led him to focus on her lips that he had thought about kissing ever since they met, “Would it be too soon if I told you I wanted to kiss you, sweetheart?”

“Not at all,” Came her instantaneous reply, “I’d love for you to kiss me, Aar.” 

And with her consent he gently pulled her in softly by the cheek, tightening his hold on her without hurting her and slanted his lips overs. Feeling her smile into the kiss as she held onto his shoulders, bringing him even closer to her. Their lips felt warm and like puzzles fitting into place, after both of their initial shyness they both opened their mouths and allowed their tongues to entangle in a sweet dance as their hands took in every part of themselves that were new to each other. 

The couple poured all of the unspoken feelings they both were too frightened to share — all the premature love and companionship — was made evident by their sweet kiss that felt natural. Despite her unwillingness to do so, she had to slowly detach herself from his lips as she had to gasp for breath. Her fingers ended up playing with the short hairs at the nape of his neck and while she separated from his lips, she couldn’t pull away from his hair as she looked up at him, “That might be the best first kiss I’ve ever had with someone.”

Pleased with her conclusion, Aaron quickly littered sweet pecks all throughout her face before placing a long, loving kiss on her lips before nodding in agreement, “And the best part about it is that that’ll be just the first of our many kisses, sweetheart.”

#aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x bimbo!reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x you #cuddlebug jack <3 #jack hotchner

[collisvng]

RED ROSES.

1.3k words, and a whole lot of fluff.

Red roses were your favorite.

He knew that.

They reminded him of you.

Anything that had to do with roses—it was made for you in his eyes.

That is how he won you over in the end.

Han Jisung gave you roses.

He would leave them everywhere for you.

You’d find pedals in your bag, roses on the windshield of your car with little notes on them wishing you a good day… and those few times he would leave them at your doorstep or hand them to you directly.

Most people would find his kind of thing strange, but you knew better.

Especially since you knew what it meant.

Han Jisung was your best friend.

The two of you had been inseparable since you both were kids and you had no intention of ever letting him go.

Once when you guys were in the first grade, Han brought you a rose. 

Jisung spent a week or so trying to figure out what you liked in order to properly ask you out. It got to the point that he went to ask his mother for help, and she found the whole ordeal of her son having a little crush to be adorable. She would go out of her way, taking Han to the grocery store to buy flowers.

When he asked the cashier if he could have just one rose out of a bouquet, the lady looked at him confused. His mother whispered the explanation to the girl, and she just laughed. Jisung stood there with his little boba eyes filled with hope and the woman couldn’t say no.

“Just take it,” she would say, taking a flower from one of the bouquets and handing it to him. “Just don’t tell anyone, okay? It’ll be our little secret.”

The next day he walked into school gripping the rose stem with all the might his little body could—holding his head up high.

Han Jisung asked you if you would be his forever and ever. But of course you said no, I mean afterall you were like seven years old and most boys had cooties at that age.

But when six-year-old Han went back to class after recess and you saw him almost cry… something inside you decided to cut him a break.

As you both waited for your moms to pick you after school, you went up to him and made a promise.

“I'll do it when we’re older,” you said. “My parents tell me I’m too young to have a partner right now. But when we’re older I promise I’ll say yes.”

He held onto your words for 17 years.

At first it was just childish hope. And by the time you guys got to high school and you got your first significant other, Han had already accepted his fate. He thought maybe he was holding onto some kind of impossible dream, but still held onto your words with a heavy heart.

Eventually he got a partner.

And another… And another… And another…

But no one was ever right for him.

No one was you.

Han Jisung was stuck in an impossible unrequited love circle forced upon him by no one else but himself.

That was until you both were adults and the dating pool became a little dry for you.

You were going on dates but every person was the same; they all wanted one thing. And when you found solitude at Jisung’s dorm one night after crying your eyes out, all he could think about was your promise as children.

That is when his rose brigade began, and your heart began to swell.

You started to dream of roses and all things beautiful and red.

You’d soon dream of Jisung too, not knowing what it meant.

Did you like him? Did you love him?

I mean of course you did but… was there something more?

Han Jisung appeared in your dream one day while you were napping.

You had just gotten back from work. You were tired, exhausted even. Another rose was found on your doorstep as you walked into your apartment.

You’d clutch onto it, falling onto the couch and practically cuddling up to it as you fell into a deep slumber.

And there he was; Han Jisung laid out in a field of roses in a sea of darkness.

You walked to him slowly. Every flower you stepped on as you made your way in front of him would regrow in your wake. It was like because Han was there, nothing could die or disintegrate—only flourish and grow. He was like a magnet, attracting him to you with such a mysterious yet comforting aura.

When you made it to him, a hand of his was placed on your cheek. You’d close your eyes and lean into his touch… Only opening your eyes when you could feel him start to lean in.

It was in that moment you knew. The burning feeling inside your chest everytime he laughed at one of your jokes, the mesmerizing stars you’d love seeing in his eyes whenever you’d compliment his music, how with each rose you received you could never ask him to stop giving them to you…

Just as you were about to give into instinct and kiss him with the intensity of all the love in the world combined into a singular molecular being—he began to fall.

He slipped right through the roses, falling into an abyss while looking at you with the most longing eyes.

What was this? What was happening? What did this represent?

Were you too late? Was the universe trying to tell you something? Did it take you too long to figure out your feelings and this was signifying that he no longer could feel the same towards you?

You had awoken from your dream due to the sound of thunder. 

Heavy breathing and a quick clutch of the rose in your hand brought you back to reality with a bizarre conclusion.

You loved him. You were in love with Han Jisung. And hopefully he would love you back.

For the next several minutes that was all you could think about, until you saw a hooded figure holding a skateboard walk up to your door in the pouring rain.

You knew that hoodie, you’d bought it for Han for Christmas last year, and within seconds you rushed to the door.

When it opened, Han flinched immediately. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be home.”

He was drenched head to toe from the rain but seemed as if he could care less about it. He looked down at the rose you were gripping onto for dear life in your hand and sighed with relief.

“Oh thank god. When it started raining I got worried the flower would get ruined. I literally rode my board all the way here hoping it wasn’t destroyed yet. I almost got you a new one. I mean I still can if it got too wet. I don’t know when you got home if it started raining yet. If it got messed up in any way I can run down to the grocery store and—”

You kissed him.

His pretty little lips wouldn’t shut up so you kissed him. You kissed Han Jisung.

It was so abrupt Jisung almost dropped the skateboard he held under his arm due to the surprise. You don’t know what came over you or how you gained enough confidence to just do something like that, but you knew you couldn't let him slip away. Not again.

When you pulled away, all Han could see were stars. His eyes were so big and full with confusion and lust. His lips followed yours out of instinct and you let out the softest little laugh. God how he loved your laugh.

“Come in,” you whispered, tucking the rose in your hand behind his ear. “I’ll let you leave once you're dry. Plus I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You grabbed his hand, leading him into your home. And as he walked in and saw every rose he had given you—some new and some older and starting to wilt—all placed in a big vase sitting on your kitchen table, he knew.

Han Jisung loved you. And you loved Han Jisung.

#➴collisvng writes #han jisung #han jisung drabbles #han jisung thoughts #stray kids imagines #han jisung imagines #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #stray kids #stray kids drabbles #stray kids thoughts #skz fluff #skz x reader

[hearts4hughes]

trouble in paradise | luke hughes

(luke hughes x fem! reader) + (jack hughes x platonic! reader)

a/n: finally finished it!! i feel like i write so much for luke now, but hey i’m not complaining!!

request: hi, could i request an angsty fic with luke dating jack’s best friend? maybe they have an argument and jack is caught inbetween? thank you! <3

you stand before luke, your heart racing and your voice trembling with a mixture of anger and hurt. the room feels smaller, suffocating, as the weight of your argument hangs heavily in the air. the person you saw as your rock, your confidant, now stands before you as a source of frustration and disappointment. this is a moment you never thought would come – arguing with luke.

every word you say is laced with frustration, each syllable a knife cutting deeper into the fabric of your relationship. your once shared dreams and laughter seem like distant memories, overshadowed by the mounting tension that has consumed you both. he stares back at you, his eyes a mix of defiance and pain, his own words a response to your accusations.

“it’s like you don’t even care anymore,” your voice is cold, the warmth it usually holds nowhere to be found. “it’s like i’m no one to you, luke!” your voice cracks, showcasing your insecurities.

“i’m the one who doesn’t care?” he huffs out a sarcastic laugh, causing your heart to crack ever so slightly. “you’re the one who spends more time with jack than her own boyfriend!”

your senses are overcome with betrayal. your relationship with jack - your best friend and luke’s brother - was anything but romantic. you were best friends from birth. ellen and your mother always joked you two were ‘attached by the hip’; however, you never thought anything of jack in a romantic way. your friendship was strictly platonic, and you made sure to tell luke that when you began dating.

in this anguished moment, you wonder how it came to this. how the person who once brought you joy and comfort has become a source of turmoil. you question whether love alone is enough to sustain a relationship, or if it takes something more, something you fear may be slipping away.

“jack is my best friend. i’ve known him since i can remember, and you’re going to use that against me? fuck you, luke!” you yell, your feeling of betrayal quickly turns into rage. “you’re just insecure because jack and i have a healthy relationship without even trying, but you and i can’t because you ruin everything! that’s what you do, luke. you ruin everything you can touch.”

the hurtful words flow freely from your lips before you can stop them. silence consumes the room. your mouth hangs agape. you never thought you were capable of saying something like that to luke - your soulmate, the love of your life, your everything.

your words hit him like a sledgehammer. shattering both his heart and his confidence. his once angry features have now fallen into sadness and anxiety. did you really think that about him? did you really think he destroys everything he touches?

he opens his mouth and you expect to be yelled at or even scolded, but he only manages to croak out, “why don’t you go date jack instead, then!”

before you can even process what had been said, he exited the shared bedroom and the apartment, making sure to slam the door. you’re left standing there, the weight of his departure pressing against your chest. tears stream down your face, a mixture of regret and longing. the house feels empty and the reality of his absence crashes down upon you. for a moment, you're overwhelmed by a wave of uncertainty and fear. the weightiness of the dispute bears down heavily on you, leading to doubts that stain your thoughts. have you crossed a line that can't be undone? is this the point of no return? uncertainties whirl in your mind as you struggle with the potential of losing him.

as sobs leave your tired body, you fall to the floor, tucking your knees to your chest and hiding your face in between them. your cries almost drown out the soft knocks against your door. “i don’t want to talk to you, luke. go away.” you say, your voice holding utter exhaustion.

“it’s jack, not luke,” his voice is muffled from being behind the door, “can i come in, please?”

in the midst of the heated argument, you had completely forgotten jack was home, listening to the whole thing. a few months after you and luke started dating, you both talked of moving in with each other - considering you were at jack and luke’s apartment everyday anyway. with open arms, they both invited you to move in with them. jack even redid the guest bedroom for you (even though you claimed luke’s room as yours too).

you rise from your place, wiping away your tears, and open the door to find jack standing there, concern etched across his face. he doesn't say anything. he simply steps forward and envelops you in a tight, understanding embrace. you find comfort in his arms, feeling the weight of your burden begin to lift ever so slightly. you know that you can trust him with your pain, your fears, and your deepest vulnerabilities.

“he’s not coming back is he?” you say in between uncontrolled breaths, “i ruined everything, didn’t i?” you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck as he tightens his hold around you.

“he has to come back, y/n. his airpods and phone are still here.” he jokes, trying to cheer you up and break the tension. you pull away from his neck, shooting him a glare that reads ‘not the time’. “ok sorry but he’s definitely coming back. he just needs time to cool down and chill out before he talks to you. and, you didn’t ruin anything. all relationships have their ups and downs.”

“but what if this isn’t just an up or down? what if we break up?” your voice is barely above a murmur. voicing your insecurities is something you don’t do often. you were taught at an early age that it’s best if you keep your doubts to yourself instead of showcases them for everyone to see.

jack rests his head atop of yours, “believe me, you won’t break up. luke loves you too much, y/n/n,” he pauses to take a deep breath, “however, you did say some pretty hurtful things. i’m not defending luke by any means because he was being a total dick, but you should apologize as well.”

you nod softly in agreement.

-

luke came home a few hours later. he went out fully convinced he would get drunk, but he didn’t - he couldn’t do that to you. instead, he ended up driving around, attempting to forget the words that cut through him like a knife.

the bedroom door swung open, revealing a exhausted luke. his eyes met yours, and a mix of relief and sorrow washed over his face. his once happy and confident demeanor now showed signs of sadness, his shoulders slightly slumped, and his gaze filled with remorse. the tension between you hung heavy, suffocating, as the weight of your argument lingered.

the bedside lamp illuminated your tired features and tear stained cheeks. guilt washed over him as he looked at you. hesitantly, he walked over to the bed, sitting besides you. silence continued to fill the room.

unable to bear the silence any longer, you took a hesitant step forward. your voice was barely above a whisper as you said, "luke, i... i didn't mean those things i said. i'm sorry."

his eyes met yours, searching for sincerity. slowly, he closed the distance between you, bringing you into a bone crushing hug. the room seemed to hold its breath as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his touch sending a jolt of warmth through your veins.

“do you really think i ruin everything?” his voice cracks as he asks. your heart breaks at his vulnerable state. if only you didn’t say such hurtful things, this wouldn’t be happening. if only you dropped the disagreement instead of turning it into a fight

“of course i don’t, lukey.” you coo, bringing your hand to entangle with his curls. “i was just angry and saying things i didn’t mean. if anything, you do the exact opposite of ruining things.” you pause you take a deep breath, “you can make anything better no matter what. that’s why you’re the perfect boyfriend and i love you so much.”

"i’m sorry too," he finally spoke, his voice filled with remorse and regret. "i shouldn't have said hurtful things either. i love you, and i never wanted to hurt you." the weight of the argument began to lift, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and the promise of healing.

every relationship has it’s own bumps in the road; however, what really matters is how you overcome those bumps with the strength of your love.

#hearts4hughes #new jersey devils #hockey blurb #nhl imagine #luke hughes blurb #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagines #nora's writings 💐

[kittenofdoomage]

Let me take you back...

.... to when this happened:

I'm still not over it. Naturally, I wrote something for it. It's below the cut. Happy Friday! 😘

Carnal

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x fem!reader

Word Count: 1651

Warnings: smut, blow jobs/oral sex, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, drunk!Sherlock, dirty talk, slight breeding kink, slight cockwarming, unbeta’d (we die like heroes)

You had been surprised to open the door to Enola and a very drunk Sherlock when you’d not been expecting either of them. Getting him up the stairs had been a challenge; Sherlock weighed about the same as a small elephant, and you had to hold your giggles at Enola’s repeated remarks about his ridiculous size. Once he was inside the apartment, he managed to move under his own power - just about - refusing assistance when it came to removing his coat and allowing it to hit the floor with an ungracious thud. He quickly landed on the chaise longue with one arm slung over his face, mouth half-agape as he got himself comfortable.

“You can sleep in the guest room,” you whispered to Enola. “I’ll deal with him.”

“Are you certain?” the younger girl asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m certain,” you replied, shooing her off, well aware she probably hadn’t slept in a proper bed for weeks, and you knew Sherlock wouldn’t actually mind. Despite his outward exasperation at his little sister, he adored her, and wouldn’t deny her one night of comfortable sleep. Enola smiled and headed off, content to leave her big brother in your capable hands.

Sherlock grunted as you unlaced his shoes, pulling them off one by one, offering no resistance but no assistance either. As you moved further up, going for the buttons on his waistcoat, he grabbed at your wrist, lifting his arm from his face to shoot you the most inebriated grin you had ever seen. “You should buy me a drink first,” he slurred, and you smirked at him.

“I think you had enough to drink,” you scolded. “Now let me get you out of this before you fall asleep and strangle yourself with your tie.”

He pursed his lips, blowing out a puff of air in irritation, but his grip on your wrist loosened, allowing you to pluck the buttons of his waistcoat undone, yet he gave no indication he was going to move for you to actually get it off of him. You clicked your tongue in impatience, lifting your hands to get his tie undone, only to find your fingers encased in his much larger ones.

“Sherlock -”

“You’re so gentle with me, my lady,” he murmured, kissing your fingertips. “Why do you take such good care of me?”

You smiled despite his intoxication. “Because someone has to,” you chided gently, attempting to pull away. “And you know very well why that someone is me.”

“Mmm, yes,” he chuckled, “because you love me.”

“Yes, dear. Now will you let me get -” His lips brushed your palm, and lidded lust-drink eyes flitted up to you. “Sherlock -” He grinned again, pulling your hand down to cover the bulge in his pants, and you sucked in a breath, glancing towards the door to make sure you were alone. “You’re incorrigible.”

A low chuckle greeted the slight, but you were already kneeling beside him. “Yet you remain,” he breathed, releasing your hand. “Let me feel that pretty mouth on my cock, sweetling.”

You glanced backwards again, letting your fingers find the fastenings on his trousers; he was already achingly hard underneath the material, springing into your palm as soon as it was free. Sherlock moaned when you stroked him, clinging to the low back of the chaise as he closed his eyes in bliss. “You are a bad influence, Sherlock Holmes,” you hissed.

“As I recall,” he mumbled, “you did not require much influencing.”

With a scowl, you leaned in, swiping your tongue across the thick tip, tasting the first beads of his essence, and when you looked up at his face, his teeth were buried in his bottom lip, an expression of pure ecstasy covering his handsome features. Once upon a time, you had believed such carnal indulgences belonged only in brothels, or at a stretch, in the wedded bed chamber - this was neither, but you’d quickly found that there was pleasure to be had in someone else’s enjoyment. The sound he made when you took him into your mouth was enough to prompt a rush of warmth between your thighs.

“Yes,” he groaned, hips undulating as you began to take him deeper, letting your saliva ease his path. One large hand came up, resting against the side of your head, guiding without pressure, and you moaned around him, squeezing your legs together to try and stem the throb growing there. “Don’t stop,” Sherlock hummed, arching on the chaise. “Mmm, your mouth feels perfect…”

Your neck was beginning to ache with the odd angle and the height of the furniture, so you pulled off of him to adjust yourself, only to find yourself pulled up and onto the chaise longue with him, manhandled until you were straddling him, skirts bunched around your hips. He grinned up at you, clearly still inebriated, though you didn’t protest when his large hands made their way underneath your skirt to the thin fabric hiding your skin.

“Too many layers,” he grumbled, tugging at the material, and you yelped as he gathered it in both hands and pulled hard, smirking up at you when the satisfying tear followed. Your protest at the loss of another set of undergarments was lost when his thick fingers prodded at your sex, and you gripped the back of the chaise as you slumped forward, gasping in surprise. “That’s better,” Sherlock muttered, arching up to kiss you suddenly.

A single digit sought out your entrance, finding you already wet, and you whined into his mouth as he used one hand to torment you, using the other to make the hole in your clothing bigger. His cock was trapped underneath your bottom, twitching and hard enough for you to feel it through the layers; you tore away from his mouth to breath, and he moved again, lifting you easily to force two thick fingers into your slick channel. The penetration knocked the breath out of you, and you bit your lip to stop yourself screaming and disturbing anyone else - the last thing you needed was to be caught in such a compromising position.

“That’s it,” Sherlock grunted, watching your face with a satisfied grin as he worked his fingers inside you, coaxing out your arousal until your body began to tremble. You couldn’t stop the way your hips worked against him, your traitorous body seeking out more friction, and you closed your eyes as you felt your walls clench around him, unwilling to see the smug look on his face.

Your orgasm was slow, a shudder that ran through you over and over. Sherlock murmured his approval, withdrawing his fingers, manhandling you until you were poised with the thick tip of his cock at your entrance. No amount of protesting would stay his enthusiasm, and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself crying out as he pulled you down, splitting you open in one hard stroke. He paused then, chest heaving, clothing disheveled, that one unruly curl falling into his eyes as he allowed you a moment to adjust. You shivered as you forced yourself to relax, feeling him press deep, almost missing the smile spreading across his lips.

“What?” you whispered, self-conscious under his heated gaze.

“This may not be the best place for this,” he muttered, reaching up to grope your chest through your dress. “I should conduct myself better.”

You smiled shyly. “Would you like to move? Perhaps to the bed?”

“No,” he exhaled, pulling you down to kiss you. “I shan’t.”

His free hand snuck back underneath your skirts, cupping your bottom through the ruined fabric of your undergarments, and you moaned into his mouth as he began to force your hips back and forth, creating the smallest amount of delicious friction inside you. Fresh moisture coated his cock, allowing him to increase the movements, and you found yourself panting when you pulled back, held in place by his hands.

“We must be quiet,” you whimpered, pressing your cheek into the palm of his hand.

“Mmm,” he agreed, staring up at you hungrily. “Yes, you should be quiet.” His hand moved, covering your mouth, and your eyes went wide at the rush of heat that filled you. “That’s it, sweetling -” A grunt followed the affectionate term and his face twisted in pleasure just as your pussy began to tighten around him. You could barely keep your eyes open, silenced and forced to breathe through your nose by the hand covering your mouth, unable to move more than he allowed by the hand on your rump. It took embarrassingly little to wring the pleasure from your body, and all you could do was gasp into his palm and quiver around him.

He didn’t slow even when you went a little slack, using his superior strength to manipulate your body on top of his, spearing up into you over and over. Usually, he would withdraw before the crucial moment, but this time he didn’t stop, and you found yourself suddenly craving it, falling into a final climax of your own as he spilled into you, warmth filling your insides and leaking out around him. Even when he was done and he pulled you down into a last kiss, he didn’t seem to care for the consequences of what you had done - his eyes fluttered shut, a ghost of a smile on his lips as his cock continued to twitch inside you.

“Sherlock…” You tapped his face lightly, and his eyes opened with a second of bewilderment before he smiled at you. “You finished… you… inside…” The heat in your face was unbearable, but he kept on smiling, closing his eyes again, apparently unconcerned that he was still buried inside you.

“Oh dear,” he drawled, sounding anything but upset at what he’d done, sighing happily as he wrapped his arms around you. “Then perhaps I shall make an honest woman of you.”

It would be remiss of me not to tag @deandoesthingstome (though I don't know if you even read Sherlock, I just don't wanna get yelled at for not tagging you 😅)

#sherlock holmes #sherlock x reader #henry cavill sherlock #ao3 link in the title #fanfiction #smut #fanfic #not spn

[mlbigbang]

2023 Marichat & Ladrien Fic Rec List

It’s the end of the year which means it’s finally time for the ML Big Bang’s yearly fic rec lists! We’re really excited to bring you our contributors’ favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you’re waiting for the Big Bang fics’ publication in January.

Boulangérella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

It's a creative Cendrillon retelling with the kwamis as fay, Adrien as the kingdom's prince and most wanted thief, and Marinette as the seamstess and superhero partner stealing Adrien's heart twice over.

Scary, like a little black purring kitten by @h-sunnywet-d

The calendar just turned into October, and Chat Noir has to make sure that his Good Friend Marinette appreciates the new season wholeheartadly. It sure won't backfire on the long run.

Just An Ordinary Girl by @kasienda

Chat Noir and the other heroes are in a bit of trouble, and Ladybug wanted just one weekend off! But luckily they know someone who can help. Someone who is just an ordinary girl…

you will never sleep alone (i'll love you) by @ladyofthenoodle

Marinette had saved up for months to be able to afford this vacation. Not only that, but she’d spent months trying to convince herself that it was okay to even take a vacation, that Monarch was really and truly gone. Which was why Tikki was at home with Alya, so that Marinette could actually relax and enjoy the plush amenities the hotel had to offer, such as a bed that looked like it cost five times her monthly salary. Or, she would be able to enjoy it, if she wasn’t standing in the middle of the villa she’d booked over a month ago, fighting for the bed with freaking Chat Noir, of all people.

May I introduce myself, Your Highness? by @chocoluckchipz

Whether picking up a stray animal off the streets or saving a dying child at the market, Adrien had always strived to be the best version of himself. Truly, he would've been the perfect candidate to be snatched up by a kwami, were he an orphan, dying somewhere remote after a short life full of nothing but suffering and misery. Yet as it stood, the sole heir to the French throne had little to complain about. Apart from, perhaps, a complete absence of a love life. That is until a mysterious girl, wandering around his gardens at night, catches his attention.

This fic has it all - Ladrien, royalty, fairy tale elements, magic and disguises! It's an enthralling read and one of my absolute favorite fics from 2023.

The Perfect Date by @peachcitt

“I dare you to ask this special someone on the date you just described.” “I totally will,” Adrien says with confidence, looking into the camera and nodding resolutely. “Scout’s honor.” He holds up the kitten as if swearing an oath. There is a space of silence. “Right now,” Hanna says. Adrien stares at her. “I’m daring you to ask that person out right now,” she says. or adrien has a little slip up during a live interview, and ladybug hears. for the golden hour zine!!

reserved by @luckyyoyo

“Don’t you think,” he coughed, a blush creeping up his cheeks, “this kind of thing should be.. reserved for my girlfriend?” He gestured to their poses. A squeak came from her mouth and her knees buckled, but surprisingly still had no struggle keeping Adrien up. “You know, you could always be my girlfriend.” Ladybug, saviour of Paris and local damsel-in-distress Adrien Agreste, suggests he gets a fake girlfriend to ward off his zombie fans. While lovingly holding him in her arms, of course. Adrien, far too comfortable in her arms, suggests it could be her. Introducing your superheroine pretend-girlfriend to your strict, uninterested father is a bit harder than Adrien realises.

Displaced by @kasienda

Adrien loosened his tie and dropped his suit jacket unceremoniously across the back of the sofa that was already cluttered with unopened boxes, mail, and unfolded laundry. He really should have listened to Nino and hired a maid or cleaning person of some sort. But well, he still had a secret to keep, and keeping that secret was more important to him than ever. He moved to his bedroom on autopilot without turning on the light, intending to collapse into bed immediately. But when he tried to slip into his space, he found it was already occupied. He flipped his phone flashlight on towards the ceiling to light the room in a soft glow. In his wife’s place, Ladybug lay sprawled diagonally across the bed.

here comes the rush before we touch (come a little closer) by @ladyofthenoodle

When an akuma attacks during Adrien Agreste's beach themed photoshoot on a dreary day in Paris, Ladybug is on the scene immediately. Unfortunately, with a glimpse of Adrien's alluring abdomen and without her partner, it's not long before she's hit, and Adrien with her—but maybe Ladybug can afford a little vacation with the boy she loves. He's certainly not complaining.

On Borrowed Time by @miabrown007

The life of Paris’ Golden Boy is all shine and glamour; blindingly bright smiles, neverending parties, bargaining for just a shard of time for being happy. But that’s alright; Adrien has long given up the false hope that someone will get it. That is precisely why it’s a spectacle when she does, when she barges in like a hurricane in crimson and turns his life upside down. Heaven knows, it’s time for the wind of change.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marichat #ladrien #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #love square #ml big bang #ml big bang 2023 #fic recs #ml fic recs

[saylorsaysstop]

Scared | Stephen Strange x Fem!Reader

a/n: i needed a lil bit of angst and also wanted a first-time dad!Stephen fic so... i combined them. here you go 😭

warnings: bit of angst, talks of childbirth (nothing explicit), anxiety

The hours seemed to tick on forever. Another few nerve-stricken paces and Stephen Strange was positive he’d burn a hole into the linoleum floors. 

As a surgeon, he had never been nervous performing a procedure. He was the greatest neurosurgeon out there and no one could take away his title. His calm reserve, his steady hand. He was quintessentially perfect. Anxiety didn’t grip him in its vice. 

Until the accident. He finally was made aware of his emotions and how delicate he truly could become. He discovered his unwavering ability to exhaust emotion; tears, sadness, happiness, love. It all came like a tidal wave upon his metaphorical shoreline when you happened. When you walked into his life, he discovered that he could feel all of those emotions, sometimes all at once. But fear was the least felt. 

Until today. Today he felt fear. He never wanted to experience such a cruel emotion but as he watched you writhe in pain and cry for him to make it stop while knowing this was one problem he couldn’t solve with the wave of his hand, that nature must take its course, he grew scared. He had been waiting for this moment ever since those two lines appeared on the pregnancy test, after the initial shock of oh wow, I’m going to be a dad after not wanting kids, and today in the delivery room, mournful that he couldn’t be more for you than just a hand to squeeze and a shoulder to cry on… and bite. He wasn’t expecting teeth marks on his skin today, but he’d let you do it a million times over if it meant he could get you through this.

“You’re doing so good, baby. I promise. It’s almost over.” he had encouraged you with both hands clasped through yours, his body leaning over the edge of the bed as you worked through every single ache and pain. You held him like a vice until you were dizzy, his voice the only thing holding you to the bed. You blocked out the voices of the doctors, nurses, you only desired Stephen’s encouragement through such a trauma as this.

And when the pain ceased and you felt a sudden emotion of emptiness, the one thing that only you had held on the inside for nine months was extracted from your being, you felt numb. 

Stephen held you tightly, awaiting that glorious sound all parents mewled about. His hands were trembling in yours as he waited, and waited, and waited. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Cry.” Stephen whispers to a little girl who couldn’t hear him. “What’s going on?” he demands, using the voice he reserved for the operating room. 

He hears the doctor and nurse's correspondence. 

“Fluid in the lungs” - “Can’t breathe” - “Lips are blue”. 

Quickly, his mind whirred and he knew what was happening. His baby girl had entered the world essentially lifeless. He turns to you, feeling as you force yourself up in the hospital bed by way of his arm. You clutch his forearm in a death grip despite your strength having been drained, the wave of adrenaline pulsing through your veins as you struggle to overhear. 

“What is going ON?!” you scream at the top of your lungs, pain surging throughout your limbs. You were a brand new mother who hadn’t got to see your daughter’s face and more importantly hear her cry. 

“Honey, I need you to lie back down,” Stephanie coaxes, kissing your forehead that was slick with sweat. You look up at your husband whose eyes are fixated on you. “Take some breaths for me, alright?” He knows you’re on the verge of panic so he quickly reaches above the hospital bed to grab the oxygen mask. 

“Stephen!” you exclaim, lungs aching. He shushes you and closes his hands around yours. He wouldn’t dare let his resolve down, not now. You needed him more than ever and he couldn’t let you see him fall apart, even though he wanted to bombard those working on his baby and the cause. 

“She’s going to be okay. We’ve got to let them look at her.” He smothers his face against your hair, reaches up, and strokes your scalp, “That’s my girl, nice deep breaths. I need you to stay calm for her. Can you do that for our little girl, sweetheart?” 

You nod your head. Your ears were ringing so loud after she came out that you didn’t overhear what Stephen did. 

“I-I’m scared,” you blubber. 

Stephen can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes. I am too, baby. I am too he thinks to himself. 

“There’s no need to be scared. I’ll be scared for us both.” Stephen kisses your temple before moving to your lips, tasting the saltwater tears that had fallen to your mouth. 

That was hours ago. Stephen continued to pace the floors. The last he heard was that his daughter was being taken to the NICU for further observation and to be stabilized. Fortunately, Christine had stopped by a few times to check in. She of course had no updates for the two of you, but she was there as a means of emotional support. Each time she snuck in quietly, she’d find a pacing Stephen who she only sighed at. 

“Have you sat down?” Christine whispered, seeing as you were finally asleep. Stephen shakes his head as Christine grabs his hand, forcing him to stop. “Stephen. You need to sit.” she leads him to the chair but he shakes his head.

“No, Christine, I need–,”

“To be a supportive husband and great father. You can’t do that when youre footprints are embedded into the floor.” she chuckles quietly but turns serious upon seeing his wary expression. She licks her lips and sighs. “If that little girl is anything like you? She won’t give up. She’ll be a fighter. But she needs a father who can remain strong for her… You can’t stay strong if you’re exhausting yourself. The same goes for her,” Christine looks over at you. “She needs you to lean against during this which means she needs you relaxed and alert. But pacing won’t do anything.”

Stephen draws in a sharp breath and finally takes a seat upon Christine’s pushing of his shoulders. She smiles at him and pats his shoulder. 

“Everything’s going to be okay, Stephen.”

He sure hoped so. “Thank you,” he nods his head, appreciative of her friendship despite their past. He squeezes her hand just before she removes it from his shoulder. 

“Try and squeeze in a cat nap. You’ll feel better.” 

He chuckles, knowing sleep was out of the question entirely. But rather than arguing with her, he nods his head in agreement. When Christine left and Stephen was left alone with his thoughts, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine him finally holding his daughter, and how relief would wash over him the moment he could see her. That’s how he managed to close his eyes and relax. He did it for his two girls. You and that precious little one fighting upstairs. 

An hour or so later, when the door to your room opened, Stephen’s eyes bolted open and he was up on his feet in seconds. The woman who delivered your daughter enters the room, pushing a tiny glass cart. Stephen’s heart thudded wildly in his chest, realization washing over him at just who this sweet little visitor could be.

“Hi, Dad,” the doctor whispers. 

Stephen gasped quietly at the sight, that relief he clung to after Christine left washing over him. “How is she?” he asks. 

“She scared us there for a little while.. she came so fast that she swallowed some fluid on the way out, but she’s perfectly healthy. I didn’t want to wake Mom up. I know she’s been anxious, but would you like to hold your little girl?”

Stephen felt a rush of emotion. He never wanted kids. He thought they were irritabilities, tiny humans who would annoy him forever. He was one of those people who when the kid ran around the dinner table in a restaurant after being told to stop, would smirk when they finally smacked their forehead against the surface. Christine normally always kicked him in the shin under the table and then you started doing it when you began dating. But that all changed the morning you approached him with trembling hands and a positive pregnancy test. 

“Yes, please,” Stephen whispers, looking over at you. He was grateful you had finally succumbed to the clutches of sleep. He wasn’t sure how much longer you could keep going, as you were nearing 48 hours of no sleep at all. 

The doctor smiles and motions him to sit in the chair beside your bed. She rolls the glass cart over to him and looks down at the sleeping bundle. “She didn’t get to have skin-to-skin with Y/N so would you like to do that? She can do it also when she wakes up, but we find that skin-to-skin holds many benefits.”

Stephen nods his head as the doctor lists the positives such as bonding, regulation of body temperature, and heart rate, among others, tears burning the corners of his eyes. He quickly unbuttons his shirt and pulls it open, his heart racing even faster when the doctor carefully picks up his daughter and leads her to his chest. She rests the baby on top of him and immediately, Stephen feels like a brand new man. The softness and warmth of her skin against his made his serotonin level skyrocket and caused more tears to freely fall. 

“Congratulations, Dad,” she whispers in the dimly lit room. “We just fed her in the nursery but when Mama wakes up, we’ll let her try feeding her. Call if you need anything,” 

Stephen nods his head and watches the doctor leave, gently closing the door behind her. He looks down at the new life snuggled against him. Her eyes peel open, naturally blue irises glassy as she moves her lips. Stephen could already see you within her. Her sweet little nose, the curl of her lips. He took a small peek under the hat, the tiniest wisps of brown hair visible, sending the new father into a chokehold. 

“Oh, my darling girl,” Stephen coos. “You gave Mommy and I quite the scare today… Yes, you did. But I’m so glad you’re here. Do you know who I am? You’ve heard my voice every single day… Whether I was telling you and Mommy how much I love you or bickering with Wong. You’ve heard it. I’m your Daddy,” the words fall like water from his mouth and his chest tightens as he dubs himself with the title. Daddy. He’s a father. 

The baby girl gently closes her eyes, lips smacking as she remains rested on his chest. Stephen ran his fingertip up and down her spine, bewildered by how soft she was. He glances over at your sleeping form. He smiles, being the proudest he’s ever been since the day he proposed and the day he wed you. He had you to thank for all of this. His little family. The only family he’s known other than those he’s encountered on his journey. 

“My sweet Tessa… Yes, you’re my special girl, aren’t you? I promise. I may not do everything right in life but I’ll do right by you. Thank you for changing my life,” the tears flow without warning as Stephen presses his quivering lips to the side of her head, squeezing his lids shut as he snuggles her closer. You stir gently and awake to the sight of your husband holding your newborn, your heart fluttering. 

“She’s okay?” You ask hoarsely. 

Stephen’s head lifts at the noise and a smile of relief greets his face. He looked exhausted and you felt bad that he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep except for his small power nap. He wouldn’t dare miss out on anything. 

“She’s perfect, sweetheart. You did it.” 

The look of utter pride glows on his face. You feel your lungs refill with fresh air as you wince, moving to sit up gently. “Can I?” 

Stephen chuckles quietly. “How could you ask me something like that? Of course, you can. Tessa, let’s meet your beautiful Mommy, yeah? I know, I know,” he shushes her as she starts to pout her lips, a pitiful cry on the verge of slipping. Your body felt like electricity had just been shot throughout it, the excitement bubbling. 

“Here, let’s unbutton this,” Stephen holds Tessa in one arm while he helps you unbutton your hospital gown. Once your chest is exposed, Stephen places Tessa on you and you fall apart the moment you touch her. Your lips quiver and the tears spill.

“Oh my God,” you whisper, kissing her. You drew in a deep breath, Tessa’s scent making you cry even more. Stephen slips into bed beside you and carefully puts one arm around you while holding his other hand over yours that’s currently on Tessa. “S-she’s perfect,” you cry. 

Stephen wipes his eyes through a sniffle. 

“She is,” he can’t help but agree. “I’ve never seen someone so little,” 

You giggle softly, kissing her head as you lean into your husband’s chest. “We’re parents, Stephen. We have a daughter.” 

He smirks, his eyes resting on you. He leans in and kisses your lips tenderly, savoring the taste. As he pulls away, both of you turn your attention down to your newest addition, your hearts soaring over the moon.

#doctor strange #dr strange #stephen strange #marvel #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #doctor strange fluff #stephen strange fluff #doctor strange angst #stephen strange angst

[sprout-fics]

Fix loses her memory. All of it.

It’s a miracle she survived what she did, but as a result the brain injury she suffered at the hands of Makarov means she wakes up in the hospital, looks at the faces of her team, and quietly asks who they are. 

They’re devastated, of course. Simon most of all. The wedding band she’d exchanged with him now sits cold on his finger, and he summons the strength to explain to her why she owns a matching one. She doesn’t remember, she says. Not the mission, not the gun levied at her skull, not falling in love with him, none of it. The day she wakes up is the first day of her existence. 

It’s not a question of who will care for her. The whole team ensures Fix is well taken care of during her recovery, but in private they grieve the loss of a friend, of their medic, of their sister. They spend time with her in her hospital room, earning her friendship and trust as if for the first time. Yet when they joke about memories Fix doesn’t have, she goes quiet, sad, eyes glassy as she tries to remember- and fails. 

Eventually Fix is discharged. Simon takes her home, helps her learn to live a civilian life as best he can, knowing he himself was never a fit for it. She doesn’t return to the military. She can’t. She still has episodes from her brain injury, terrible headaches that leave her prone for days, the occasional seizure that has Simon so afraid he locks himself away in the bathroom and shakes. Yet they do the best they can, and eventually Fix is stable enough to mostly manage on her own, with the exception of a nurse that visits a few times a week.

It’s only then that Simon returns to the taskforce in order to hunt down the bastard who took his wife away from him. He doesn’t want to leave her, but channeling that anger, that fury about what was done to her into action is the only way he knows how to move forward. Simon becomes an absolute menace on the field, gets dragged into Price’s office more than once for the way he rips men apart with his bare hands. Yet it doesn’t stop him. He’s angry, scared, and the pure force of it has him succumbing to instincts he can’t find himself to be ashamed of.

He comes home to Fix, to his wife, and refuses to tell her the things he’s done. Once upon a time she would have understood, but that’s not the person she is anymore. She’s gentler now, somewhat fragile, will sometimes get a strange, distant look in her eyes if he makes the mistake of telling her anything about his work. He holds her to him in his bed and tries to tell himself he still deserves her.

Fix is lonely while he’s deployed, but tries to make the most of it. She joins community organizing, helps with fundraisers, goes to her doctors appointments and make friends. Her greatest distraction while Simon is gone is to sit in her usual seat at a cafe and read her own collection of books she doesn’t remember. The owners know her well, even if they do whisper about the strange scar on the side of her face while they think she doesn’t hear them.

Then, one day, a man sits across from her. 

He has dark eyes, short hair, and his smile doesn’t seem entirely genuine as he asks her in a Russian accent: “Is this seat taken?”

“No.” She blinks, and smiles politely as the fellow sits. “But before you say anything else, I’m married.”

The man looks surprised at that, and oddly delighted. It’s an unexpected expression, and Fix tilts her head a little nervously at him. 

“Do I know you?” She asks.

“Maybe in another life.” Makarov chuckles, and nods at her book. “Faulkner?”

“Yes.” She brightens. “Are you a bibliophile?”

“Of a sort.” He responds, eyeing her, looking for something she doesn’t understand before extending his hand. “Vladimir.” He offers, and Fix hesitantly accepts. 

“Joan.” She tells him. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh trust me.” Says Makarov, eyes glimmering. “The pleasure is mine.”

#fic: snowblind #this isn't canon to the storyline it's just a fun idea #simon ghost riley x oc

[spiriteddreams]

to lie, to lose

—“your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in” Pairing: Neuvillette x Reader Warnings: self deprecating thoughts, angst, hurt/no comfort (for now) Word Count: ~1k A/N: no thoughts just angst for every character i've ever loved

in which you you watch your relationship with neuvillete fall apart day by day, bit by bit, crumbling to dust and falling through your fingers. words cut just as deep as actions and by the time you realize the extent of both your wounds, there is nothing left to do but mourn. 

you hate that you’ve let these thoughts brew in the depths of your mind for the longest time. it is those cruel whispers that remind you that at the end of the day neuvillette is the hydro dragon, the chief justice of the court of fontaine, one of the most revered men in the country, and archons where do you fit in amongst his immortality, his great achievements, his long-lasting, never-changing life. 

you cherish the memories shared and what still remains, but after years of the same routines with little to change despite your shared attempts to work it out, you feel as though fate was cruel enough to give you the card right person, wrong time, with neuvillette. 

the house you live in is cold when you enter. shaky hands go to shut the door softly, your shoulders tensing when the sound of locking the door seems to echo throughout the room. the conversation is inevitable, but after years upon years of memories, of happiness, of loving neuvillette, you still try to grasp at whatever remains. and all that is there for you to hold onto is the dust that floats around you, settling on the carpet as if trying to preserve these last moments. 

the light from the living room is on, artificial light pooling into the entrance of your home as you swallow the thickness in your throat and take each step towards a conversation you had once hoped to prolong. you search the room, eyes scanning the walls and trinkets delicately placed on shelves that haven’t been touched for archons knows how long. you search with your eyes, looking for a reason to stay. 

“you know this isn’t working anymore,” the words are heavy on your tongue but you force them out nonetheless. he sits while you stand, head low and fingers clenched. you’re not sure what hurts worse: neuvillette’s silence or the feeling of your own nails digging into your palm. both are numbing. “we’ve tried again and again but it doesn’t feel like things are changing.”

neuvillette inhales, then exhales softly. you wonder how long he’s been sitting here in this cold room, waiting for you to return. “darling, i—“ he hesitates. the silence roars.

“i don’t know how else to convince you,” neuvillette admits. 

if feels as if you’re standing on the cliffs, staring out at the endless ocean of life, memories, and restless thoughts that is neuvillette. both of your words rise and fall and you feel as you cry out, “give me a reason! please, lie if you have to, but just give me a reason!”

neuvillette is silent and he looks away, hiding the emotions you’ve learned to read on his face. you wish he’d turn to face you so you can see if his lip is trembling in the same way that yours are. you want to see if his eyes are lined with tears in the same way that yours are. you steal a glance at the darkening sky and for a moment you appreciate that neuvillette is home early for once. that is washed away when you turn back to the man in front of you. he still refuses to look at you, but when he speaks, you hear him loud and clear.

“i have, and always will, love you. and i know i’m not the best at showing it. i can only apologize for how long i have allowed you to feel stifled—“

you inhale sharply.

“—but i too, can acknowledge the distance that has grown between us,” he finally looks at you. there are no tears, no curve to his lips, just the same, empty, expression that you once admired sitting at the top of the opera epiclese. you hate that he’s blaming himself, but you know you’re guilty of the same thing, and as your pride slams at the door, begging to be let out, you turn the knob and allow it to make its exit. then you follow, apologies on your lips, empty promises of seeing one another again, knowing damn well that when you walk into work the next day, you won’t look at neuvillette the same any longer.

and neuvillette takes the fall of your relationship with grace. he sheds his tears in the privacy of his seemingly empty room before donning the facade that the public has grown to be so accustomed to. he sits in the silence and dust of a room devoid of your warmth, festering in the guilt of two people whose pride held them from speaking up. he turns away as you pack your things, ignoring the sound of drawers pulled in and pushed back in, of clothing hangers knocking against one another, and of the sound of your sniffles and choked cries that you can’t quite hold in.

you still love him. the thought plagues you, driving deeper with each personal item that you put into your bags. it's impossible not to love him, but when you've let your own thoughts and guilt drive you to the door, you have no one but yourself to blame. you hate the thought of neuvillette grieving when you pass on. so, better draw the line early, before you are truly torn from his grasp. you can't help but wonder, wallowing in hurt, what makes you worthy to love him?

neuvillette watches the expressions change on your face, the invisible stings that seem to dig deeper and pull you further and further away. you need space, he knows that, but this isn't what he imagined.

he embraces you one last time at the door, holding you tighter than usual until you untangle yourself from his arms. when you finally arrive at a friend’s place, their door clicking shut behind you, storm clouds begin to roll in.

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 a/n: tbh i'm not the biggest fan of this work despite being so excited to write it :// but that's okay cause i'll just go write angst for another character :D

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette #favoniuslibrary #genshin impact neuvillette #spiriteddreams writing #spiriteddreams

[wintaerbaer]

things we don’t say: part 3 (kth)

banner credit: @itaeewon

summary: Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

pairing: Taehyung x Reader (with some VERY brief Seokjin x Reader and Yoongi x Reader)

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genres: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slooooow burn, angst, fluff

word count: 9.0k

chapter warnings: kook has literally zero chill (i’m so sorry about him), jimin channels his inner dominic toretto, taehyung is so sweet he’s giving me cavities, discussions of infidelity, swear words, namjoon still gives the best hugs

a/n: thanks for the patience in waiting for this one! for those who may have missed it, i ultimately opted to split this into two chapters, so now we’re looking at seven parts and an epilogue. :)

PREVIOUS // SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST

Read on ao3

"I can make you a drink?"

"It's noon."

"So?"

You sigh, slumping on the couch. "I appreciate it, Kook, but I'm just…" You stretch out, pressing your toes into his thigh. "Tired."

The week has gone by in a blur of tears and sleep. You'd taken the rest of the week off, thankful both that you had been carefully banking your PTO in case of an emergency and also for having a manager that prioritizes empathy and mental health. When you'd practically had a breakdown explaining your situation over the phone, she'd quickly granted you the time off—no questions asked—and told you to take care of yourself.

It's been mostly your friends taking care of you, however. After the night you came back from the beach house, you'd been whisked away to the guys' apartment to stay with them, camping out on their pull-out couch, which they’d insisted you could have for as long as you want (Taehyung had pushed you to take his bed, offering to stay in the living room, but you'd begged him not to make you feel worse by displacing him, and he'd eventually acquiesced). Maya and Taehyung had then gone back late the next day to pack you a bag with no Jace encounters.

He'd only texted you once—to provide a weak apology and to let you know he'd clear out of the apartment.

Still, your plan is to stay with the guys for a while; you don't think you could bear to be in your apartment alone right now, especially knowing that Jace has been with someone else in your bed. It's like the image is seared behind your eyelids, tormenting you every time you blink and pushing your mental fortitude to its absolute limit. You haven’t made it a single day without a breakdown, feeling as though you’re constantly trying to walk an emotional tightrope.

Except the tightrope isn’t pulled taut and is also on fire.

That being said, you welcome the distraction of having your friends around. Between Jimin working days, Jungkook working nights, and Taehyung having a flexible schedule with the museum and his photography gigs, someone is always around to spend time with you. Maya’s also taken it upon herself to pop in almost every night with wine, chocolate, or some other variation of breakup food and hang out for a while. You'd feel bad about their attentiveness (you feel sometimes like they're babysitting you), if not for the fact that it's the only thing keeping you remotely sane as you fluctuate between sobs and an overwhelming numbness.

This Sunday afternoon, it's Jungkook's turn to babysit; Taehyung left to run some errands an hour ago, while Jimin slept in late and is currently taking a shower. Jungkook's reclined on the sofa next to you, longs legs stretched out in front of him with his fingers laced behind his head. You'd thrown on a TV movie—some bullshit about a woman who goes through trials of love, only to realize that her perfect man was hidden in plain sight the entire time.

If only life were that fucking easy.

"Do you want an ice cream sundae?" Jungkook suggests as the credits roll. "I can make you an ice cream sundae."

"Are you just suggesting things that make your twelve-year-old brain happy?"

His lower lip pushes out in thought. "No, if I was going to suggest things that cheer me up when I'm sad, I'd offer to go down on you—"

"What the fuck, Kook."

"Which I'm game if you are, but I didn't think you liked me like that."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."

"Leave her alone, idiot. She's fragile." Jimin steps into the living room from the hall, fully dressed but still towel drying his hair. He takes in your relaxed forms on the couch—you, halfway burrowed under multiple blankets—and frowns. "You're not dressed yet?"

You blink slowly at him. "Should I be?"

"Yeah, Kook and I are taking you somewhere." He looks over at the man sitting beside you. "You didn't tell her?"

Jungkook's mouth stretches into a wide grin. "Surprise!"

You're still processing what the hell is happening—your plans for today were to park yourself in this spot and not leave—when Jimin strides over and yanks the blankets off of your body.

"Chim!"

"C'mon, get dressed. We have an appointment," he says. "And wear something comfortable. You're gonna love it, I promise."

A half hour later and you’re sitting in the back of Jungkook’s black Mercedes, watching the city pass by outside your window. Now that you’re up, it does feel nice to be out of the apartment instead of wallowing inside on the couch with a tissue box in your lap (which had been the general trend of the past week). Even listening to Jungkook and Jimin bickering about navigation up front helps to distract you from the dread that lingers like a blanket draped over your shoulders. All-in-all, you feel like you’re managing the fallout of your relationship as best as one can—at least when they find their almost-fiancé in bed with another woman. But grieving the loss still means that you’ve barely eaten, barely slept, and it’s not long before you’re dozing off in the backseat, dreaming of college—of sandy brown hair and green eyes.

You wake to Jimin’s hand on your shoulder gently shaking you out of your nap.

“Hey, we’re here.”

You’re on the outskirts of the city, it seems, in front of a squat, gray building that looks almost like a tiny warehouse. Peering up at the neon sign, you read, “Smash City Rage Room?”

“Cool, right?” Jungkook says, leaning against the side of the car.

You can physically feel the lines stretching across your forehead. “I don’t get it. We’re going to…?”

“Break stuff!” He takes your hand to pull you along. “Let’s go!”

You're led into a small, unassuming lobby—flat gray like the outside. Jimin gets you checked in with a burly-looking man behind a desk, who (after you’ve all signed some suspicious-looking release forms) promptly brings the three of you to a back room where you're fitted with protective jumpsuits, helmets, and goggles and instructed to "choose a weapon" from a rack filled with baseball bats and sledgehammers. At this point, Jungkook is practically bouncing out of his skin, the absolute picture of a golden retriever waiting for a ball to be thrown.

"You guys are really trying to distract me by taking me to Kook's version of Disneyland, huh?"

"That depends, is it working?" he says, grasping one of the hammers and weighing it in his hands.

"I'm skeptical but open-minded."

"Perfect!"

He hands you a bat, and your brawny host leads you to your final room—a wide, concrete space with a sturdy table in the middle and piles and piles of objects. Wine glasses, dinner plates, a computer monitor, and even a flat screen TV sit in heaps along the walls amongst some broken shards from previous visitors.

"You're free to smash anything in the room," the muscle man says in a gruff voice, "just no intentional damage to the building's structure. If you need something, you can flag us down through the camera up there," he points to the device in one of the ceiling's corners, "and someone will come check on you. Otherwise, just be safe and have fun. We'll come get you after an hour." Then he's swinging the door shut behind him.

You look blankly at the two men in front of you. "Now what?"

"We smash!" Jungkook says happily, already dragging the flat-screen onto the table. Then, before you can even respond: "Not like that, Y/N. Get your mind out of the gutter." He swings the sledgehammer down onto the TV screen, and it caves in on itself as Jungkook giggles maniacally.

"We thought this might help to let off steam," Jimin says, cracking a smile as he slams his bat into a propped up picture frame. "Try it!"

The two of them watch with wide, expectant eyes as you gingerly pick up a small drinking glass and place it delicately on the table.

"So now I just…?" You halfway lift the baseball bat, peering down at the poor, unassuming glass in front of you.

Jungkook leans forward, eyes eager, gesturing with the hammer in a light swinging motion he's clearly wanting you to mimic.

So you swing, bringing the bat down onto the lip of the glass with a moderate amount of force. It shatters, pieces flying outwards like little slivers of shrapnel.

It feels good.

The guys cheer, and Jimin reaches down to grab a champagne glass, setting it in front of you.

"Now pretend this one is that asshole's balls."

You hesitate, the mention of Jace causing the fist that's been around your heart to squeeze. You're angry with him, sure, fury simmering in your belly even now. But your biggest struggle and the source of all of your pain this week has been wrangling with your lingering feelings. Four years of loving someone are not so easily erased.

But you wish you could wipe it all from your mind.

You wish you could hate him.

"Let it out," Jimin murmurs, as you continue to stare, your hands gripping the bat. "This is the place."

You visualize Jace's face in your mind. His bright green eyes, his crooked smile, the tiny scar on his forehead from when he fell off his bike when he was nine. You can practically hear his voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

And then you see him in bed a week ago, his lips pressed to another woman's neck.

The champagne glass explodes like a small bomb into a million tiny crystals.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Jungkook yells, and it’s then that you realize that you were the one who swung the bat.

Your body is a live wire, pumping with adrenaline and a newfound rage. Before you know it, you don’t even have the patience to pick up the objects and place them on the table. Instead, you’re spinning around in a whirlwind, destroying plates and glasses and small kitchen appliances indiscriminately.

“This is for all of the lies about late nights!”

BOOM.

“This is for the fact that I’ve barely been able to breathe this past week!”

CRASH.

“This is for that dumb-ass crooked smile like he thinks he’s the star of some shitty movie!”

WHAM.

“And this is for that stupid, fucking green jacket.”

You channel all of your anger through the bat—every tear, every minute of lost sleep turned into shards of glass and debris. The tears come at some point, but you barely feel them as you scream out your frustrations, Jimin and Jungkook cheering you on the whole time.

It’s not a magical cure-all by any means, but you do feel a tiny bit of relief ease itself into your shoulders.

An hour later, you embrace both men in the parking lot. “Thank you,” you say, “for everything you guys have been doing for me. I needed this.”

Jimin shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Hey, I owed you for that time when I got passed over for promotion, and you brought me to Bar 613 and paid for all my drinks.”

“I just wanted to smash stuff,” Jungkook teases with a grin, but he rubs playfully at your upper back to let you know he’s kidding.

Jimin’s phone chirps with a notification, and he pulls it out of his pocket, squinting at the screen before muttering, “Hmm, Tae’s not ready yet.”

“Ready for what?” you ask, a feeling creeping in that your day of surprise distractions isn’t quite over.

“You’ll see soon enough.” Jimin’s knowing smile twinkles with mischief. “In the meantime, what do you say we get some ice cream?”

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

You’d returned from your rage room and ice cream outing only for Jungkook to swing his car into the “No Parking” zone outside the apartment and promptly kick you out to the curb, a pair of impish smiles flashing at you from the front seats.

“We have strict instructions to stay clear of the apartment for the next several hours,” Jimin chimes. “So we’re going to entertain ourselves for a while.”

You narrow your eyes at them, knowing they’re not going to spill but making a feeble attempt anyway. “What did he do?”

“Go find out!” Jimin says, just as Jungkook shouts, “Bye!” and rolls up the window right in your face.

You enter the building with a sigh, swinging the plastic bag from your wrist that holds the takeout container of rocky road that you’d gotten for Taehyung. A part of you wants to be whiny about your friends making such a fuss for you, working so hard to cheer you up, but at the end of the day, you just feel loved. Tomorrow, you may wake up with a hollow chest, your heart scraped out in the middle of the night as it has been for every day the past week, but for now, you let a little flame of happiness warm your insides.

You do hope, though, that Taehyung didn’t go through too much trouble for whatever he has planned for tonight. He’s already spent a majority of the past week hovering, holding you when you cry, and otherwise keeping a close watch on your moods. And in spite of him trying to be subtle, you’ve noticed how he doesn’t close his bedroom door all the way at night so he can listen for you.

He’s a great friend, the best, but the fact that you care about him, too, means that you don’t necessarily want to burden him, don’t want to be the source of his worry.

It sucks that you’re doing a shit job of it.

Probably just a movie night, you think during the elevator ride up. Like we’d do in college.

But when you slip the key into the lock and slide the door open, your heart immediately leaps into your throat, the bag of ice cream almost slipping from your fingers.

The apartment has been positively upended, furniture rearranged, flipped, stacked, and draped with blankets to create a massive pillow fort in the middle of the living room. It has to be almost eight feet tall, and you wonder what the rest of the rooms look like as you spy all three of the guys’ desk chairs incorporated into the structure—clearly, the entire apartment was raided to create this behemoth. Around the dining room and kitchen, dozens of candles have been placed and lit to give the open space an ambient glow, accentuated by the lowering sun dipping down outside the massive windows.

When the door swings itself to latch shut with a soft click, there’s a rustling sound before Taehyung’s head pops out of the fort, and he beams as he comes to stand in front of you.

“What do you think?” he hums as you continue to stare incredulously at the scene behind him. You try to say something, you should say something, but tears begin to flow over your cheeks instead, causing the room to blur and Taehyung to pull you into a hug. “Okay, I have to admit this is the opposite of what I was going for.”

You press a watery chuckle into his chest. “This is incredible,” you gasp, shifting back to look at him.

“I’m glad you think so,” he says. “And that’s not even all. Come look.”

He guides you to the kitchen, where you now notice the counters are littered with all of your favorite comfort foods alongside the snacks you used to share growing up: sugar cookies and popcorn, potato chips and pretzels, brownies and bite-sized chocolates.

“Just like old times. And—“ He lifts the lid off a pot on the stove, and you’re quickly enveloped in the soothing scent of tomatoes and basil. “Spaghetti for dinner.”

It was the first meal you ever made together. In retrospect, the lumpy, acidic sauce you concocted in your parents’ kitchen that day was far from perfect. But at the time, you’d called it the best meal you’d ever eaten, and Taehyung has spent the subsequent years perfecting his own recipe. He doesn’t make it often, but when he does, it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia and warmth.

“And to think, all I brought you was this,” you say sadly, dangling the bag limply from your hand. But Taehyung snatches it from you in a flash, digging in like it’s a Christmas present. When he pulls out the papery white container, he grins like it’s much more than just half-melted ice cream.

“Rocky road?” he asks, smiling even more widely when you nod. “This is amazing, Y/N. Thank you.”

You study him quietly as he puts the ice cream away in the freezer—just to soak in this beautiful, home-shaped human being—and he raises his eyebrows at you when he turns back around.

“What?” he asks, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying to hide yet another smile.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you glance away. “Nothing.”

But the truth is, standing here in his kitchen, observing his tender movements as he carefully rearranges the snacks on the counter top—it’s the first time in a week that you’ve been able to breathe. And maybe it’s just because it’s been days of suffocating pressure around your chest, but the air pushing through your lungs now feels sweeter, richer as he looks up to capture your gaze again and gently takes your hand in his.

“Come see the inside.”

He pulls you to the mass of furniture and blankets, sweeping back an opening in the fabric to usher you in, and you gasp as he reveals the pillow fort of your childhood dreams.

It’s massive, tall enough for you to stand comfortably in, with wide walls and a tented ceiling that seems to suggest Taehyung has somehow tethered it to the apartment’s actual ceiling. The floor is absolutely packed with pillows, cushions, and heaps of additional blankets, and if you aren’t mistaken, there’s a literal mattress (maybe two?) buried underneath it all.

But the part that has your throat constricting on a sob, tears streaming once again, is the tiny side table he’s placed to the side, your star lamp glowing on top.

“How did—“ you choke, still taking it all in. The fort, the snacks, the lamp. “How did you—?”

“Found the lamp in your closet when we went to get you that bag of clothes.”

“And,” you wave a weak hand at the scene around you, “all of this?”

“Chugged a couple energy drinks,” he chuckles. “And Maya came by for a bit earlier to lend a hand.”

“Tae,” you say, wiping at your cheeks.

“Y/N.”

“This is…” Beautiful. Magical. Extraordinary. No single word seems adequate enough to describe what you’re feeling, his recreation of your childhood tradition to the nth degree tipping you into a state of practical euphoria after the hell of a week you’ve just had. You’d swear you feel like you’re about to combust with the amount of relief that’s flooding through your body in this moment, anger and grief giving way to joy and an overwhelming sense of fondness for the man in front of you.

You never complete your sentence, but Taehyung still seems to grasp your meaning, reaching out to squeeze your fingers one last time in a gesture of acknowledgment and understanding before he simply says, “Let’s eat.”

The two of you gather yourselves heaping bowls of pasta before burrowing into your pillow fortress, backs pressed up against the couch, which is being used to support one side of it.

“How was the rage room?” Taehyung asks, tomato sauce staining his lips.

“Surprisingly cathartic. But…”

“But?”

You rub at your temple before letting your hand fall in a huff. “Temporary. It all is. Every time I think I’m getting a moment to catch my breath, I feel like I’m being punched in the chest a second later.”

“It’s only been a week,” he says. “You’re grieving. It’s going to take time.”

“I don’t want it to though,” you snap, immediately regretting your tone, even though Taehyung looks unfazed. “I just want to turn it off. He did this terrible thing, and I should hate him for it. I want to hate him for it.”

“But you don’t,” Taehyung says, jaw clenching.

Throat swelling, you choke on the words as they find their way out. “I thought I was going to marry him.” The all-too-familiar pressure in your chest rears its head again, suffocating you from the inside. “We had all these plans.” Your breaths turn shallow, coming out in short, rough pants quickly joined by tears that Taehyung rushes to wipe away.

You’ve never known love could hurt like this until now, and for all intents and purposes, Jace was your first real love. You’d had a smattering of boyfriends in high school, but never anything long term until him—nothing that ever made your heart feel like it was going through a shredder, a blender, and a hurricane all at once when it ended. And it’s not just your idea of him or your relationship that you’re mourning, but also the future that you thought you’d have together. The dreams you had dared to dream when you’d traded ideas of rings and children and white picket fences while tangled together in bed.

Sensing an imminent panic attack, Taehyung pulls you into his lap and loops his arms around you, coasting his hands up and down your back in long strokes. He’s done this every time you’ve broken down around him over the past several days, the physical sensation giving you something else to focus on when the thoughts and memories of your now-ex come flooding through the mental barriers you’ve been trying and failing to construct.

You concentrate instead on the ministrations of Taehyung’s hands, the warmth of his large palms resting over your shirt, the glide of his fingers tracing your spine over and over. His fingertips trail up to your neck (inhale) and back down to your sacrum (exhale) on a loop as you clutch the soft fabric of his own shirt. And as the dread looming under your skin begins to ebb away, you notice how your breathing has synced up, pressed chest to chest like you’re two halves of one whole. It’s calming, the light press of his ribcage expanding against yours, and it serves as enough of a distraction to get yourself under control, your feelings stuffed back into their box for the time being.

When you lean back to look at him, his dark brown eyes map your face, steady as ever.

“Better?”

“Better.” You nod weakly. “But life would still be so much easier if love worked like a switch.”

His brow tilts downward a fraction, a touch of melancholy passing over his face. “If only.”

“That makes me an idiot though, right?” you ask. “To still feel for him even after that.”

“No, it makes you human,” Taehyung says, before his expression suddenly turns grave. “Has he contacted you?”

You sniffle, rubbing at your nose. “Nothing besides that one text saying he would clear out of the apartment.”

“Good,” he murmurs. “Listen, I think everything you’re feeling is normal, and you shouldn’t put any pressure on yourself to process it any particular way.” A pink tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “But please, Y/N. Please promise me you’ll never take him back if he asks.”

Truth be told, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind until now—imagining a teary Jace on your doorstep, begging you to give him just one more chance. In spite of your lingering feelings for him, the image only stirs up a dull rage, disgust burning like acid in your stomach.

“Not a chance,” you say, twining your pinky around his for a brief moment, and he visibly relaxes, leaning back against the couch. “I don’t think I ever want to see him again. But it…it hurts.”

You struggle to pull in a breath that doesn’t want to come, chin dipping down to your chest before Taehyung begins to move. Long fingers reach out to squeeze your hips before nimbly dancing down to your ankles bracketing his legs, where they give you another squeeze. He works his way up your body from there, moving his hands to your knees. Squeeze. Your ribs. Squeeze. Your shoulders. Squeeze. Elbows. Squeeze. Wrists. Squeeze.

He’s pinching each joint of your fingers between the pads of his own when you finally ask, “Tae? What are you doing?”

He doesn’t even look up, zoned in on his task. “Putting you back together.”

“Is that how it works?”

“Yeah, Hobi and Joon have been giving me lessons.”

You snort, and it appears to be the reaction he was hoping for because he beams up at you as you keen forward with laughter until you’re practically sharing breath, faces mere inches apart.

Time freezes; something in the universe shifts.

Your eyes wander over his face, tracing the paths between details that you subconsciously know are there but which you’re not sure you’ve ever truly looked at: the deep brown of his eyes, the mole on the tip of his nose, the plush curve of his lower lip.

He’s beautiful. It’s something you’ve always been aware of—an obvious fact of life in the same way the sky is blue—but you’re also lucky enough to know that his beauty goes beyond a handsome face. It’s also in the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs with his whole body, the way he always carries crackers in his bag for photo shoots at the park so he can toss some to the ducks.

The way he’ll upend his entire apartment to help heal your broken heart.

Artificial stars dance around the fabric walls like fireflies as you become hyperaware of how his hands have drifted back to your hips, barely there but warm. It’s soothing, you think, to be held between the boundaries of his palms, as if nothing and no one can touch you here. But it’s always been that way, hasn’t it? He’s always been your primary source of comfort, your north star at every turn, propping you up within the safety of your own little world like he does now.

His warmth is a siren’s song that has you shifting closer, your hands sliding from his chest to his shoulders, when his grip on your hips suddenly tightens as he breathes out your name.

“Mmm?”

“We have snacks to get to.”

The bubble pops as Taehyung shifts you off his lap, darting away to the kitchen. You, however, stay firmly rooted to your spot in the blanket fort; your mind whirs, an unfamiliar tingling sensation gently working its way through your nerve endings and making your stomach dip. It’s not at all unpleasant, but you don’t know what to make of it, thoughts turning without reaching any kind of foregone conclusion until Taehyung ducks back under the blanket and into your space, arms overflowing with snack bags.

He smiles at you and your stomach dips again.

But your mind quiets.

He’s your person, you think. Undoubtedly now more than ever as he settles back down next to you like the rock he’s always been.

“Story time?” he murmurs, the light passing across his face as he hands you a bag of your favorite chips. You gently place it in your lap without opening it, still jittery from the way he held you only seconds ago. Watching you with hooded eyes, he frowns at your lack of movement, the way your fingers have stilled on the plastic. “Something wrong?”

“No,” you say, sitting up straighter so he doesn’t feel like you’re ignoring him. “Wouldn’t be a blanket fort without a story, right?”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the light on the walls is now radiating from Taehyung himself as he launches into a clearly premeditated narrative about a princess and her devoted, best friend of a knight. After being betrayed by a prince from a neighboring realm, the two embark on an epic journey to restore their own kingdom, traversing mountains and crossing oceans together to retrieve the enchanted crown jewel that the thieving prince had stolen away. Another handsome and charming prince captures the princess’s heart during their adventure, and, once her power is restored, the two marry in the most beautiful and romantic ceremony the kingdom has ever seen.

“And they live happily ever after,” Taehyung says with a flourish. He reaches over to steal a handful of potato chips before slipping a hand behind his head and settling deeper into the mattress. You frown down at him.

“But what about the knight?”

He slides a potato chip between his lips, lifting a dark eyebrow in confusion. “What about him?”

“Where’s his happily ever after?” you ask, almost annoyed on the fictional character’s behalf. “He climbed a mountain and fought a dragon for her. What did the prince do? Just stand there and look hot?”

His expression changes, eyes widening in subtle surprise. “It’s not his story.”

“But—“

“It’s not his story, Y/N.”

He says it with finality, so you drop it, left to grumble internally about what you feel was an unjust ending for the caring and loyal knight.

It was a sweet tale, but you can’t help but think that you would’ve written it differently.

The return to work isn't as bad as you anticipated. Your boss, Jia, noticing your frayed nerves, has been easing you back in slowly with a handful of softball projects just to get you going again. As much as you think you needed that week to cry and wallow, it feels good to get back to some form of normalcy and have work to focus on and keep your mind off of things as much as you can.

The shadows linger though, anxiety grabbing hold of your chest every time you remember you'll be going home to a different apartment that night instead of the one you shared with Jace.

Jimin's been joining you for lunch every day, hanging around outside the office cafeteria before you get there like he's staking you out. You call him out for it on Thursday, and he looks sheepishly down at the table with a nervous chuckle.

"I kinda promised Tae I'd make sure you eat."

"Of course," you sigh. Taehyung's been getting up early every morning to cook both of you breakfast, insisting that it's part of his normal routine.

He forgets that you used to live together, and you know he's more of a granola bar guy in the morning, eager to get himself out the door and moving as soon as possible.

"You're all doing too much for me," you murmur. "You shouldn't have to babysit me like—"

"We don't have to do anything," Jimin says forcefully. "We want to be there for you. We do these things because we care about you."

"I know, but I just…" You swallow hard. "I don't want you all to see me as this broken thing that you need to protect."

Jimin's whole demeanor softens, and he reaches across the table to take your hand. You'd be worried about how this looks—two coworkers holding hands at lunch—if you didn't feel the tears welling up again, the urge to cry sticking itself in your throat like molasses as you try to choke it down.

"Y/N, that's not what we think," he says softly. "You're our friend. And you're hurting. And after the trauma you went through, it's perfectly understandable for you to need a little more attention and care than usual. Honestly, if anything, I'm worried that you seem to be taking things better than expected, and I think that's because you're trying to put a brave face on for us sometimes."

He’s not off-base. Especially after your Distraction Day, you've been doing your best these past few days to bottle everything down so your friends don't worry as much, taking your time to cry in the shower or quietly at night when everyone else is asleep.

"All I'm saying is that you can lean on us. That's what we're here for. And if your tough face can't fool me, you're definitely not fooling Tae. Let him help before he goes crazy with worry.”

Honestly, relying on Tae has been the least of your problems, even though you’re a little concerned about how he’s been waking up earlier than usual for you. That man has been your rock for years, and receiving comfort from him is almost second-nature at this point. It’s how the two of you operate. Everyone else, however…

“I’m fine with Tae,” you tell him. “But I’ve never felt this…vulnerable around the rest of you. It used to just be Tae and I, hiding away from our problems in my room, and now—“

“You have us!” He beams. “That’s a beautiful thing, Y/N, can’t you see? You’re not alone anymore. Not you, not Tae. You have us. All of us. We’re going to get you through this. And if you need a silver lining, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Jungkook and Maya this united against a common enemy before. I could’ve sworn I heard them the other night trying to figure out the best way to slash Jace’s tires without getting caught.”

“Don’t make me cry at work,” you say, blinking furiously to try and clear the sudden moisture from your eyes. “I think Jia is already prepared to send me home if I don’t stop sounding like I’m learning how to breathe for the first time.”

He laughs gently, giving your hand a squeeze before relinquishing it. “It’s going to get better, Y/N. I know I just called you our friend, but really, we’re family.”

The summer presses on in a haze as you focus on just getting through one day, one step at a time: get out of bed, go to work, come home, shower, try to get a few hours of fitful sleep, eat somewhere in between all of that. And before you know it, an entire month has passed.

Taehyung continues to make you breakfast every morning and insists on taking you to your favorite ramen place at least twice a week for dinner, watching you with concerned eyes from across the table. You’d give him shit for it if his worry didn’t feel so justified. If he wasn’t so persistent in making sure your base needs were being met, you’re not entirely sure you can say you wouldn’t be starving yourself in grief. And you know it makes him feel better to see you eating—how happy it makes him to care for others—so you don’t resist when he pushes an extra pancake onto your plate or orders you a second helping of noodles to go.

It’s one of your scheduled ramen nights when you get back from work a little later, a particularly emotional day preventing you from getting your tasks done on time. You drop your bag in the living room with a sigh, thankful that no one is around to ask you how your day was—you’re really not in the mood. Taehyung had sent you a text letting you know that he wanted to take a shower before you head out, needing one after a long day of photographing clients in the baking July heat. You can hear water running in the bathroom, so you assume he must still be in there.

The living room makes you feel vulnerable with its vaulted ceiling and tall windows, like you’re laid bare for the whole world to see. Because of this, you decide to wait for Taehyung in his bedroom, hopeful that you might be able to find some reprieve in his tucked-away space.

You’ve been in Taehyung’s room before, of course, but you’re not sure that you’ve ever taken the time to really peruse. Unlike Jace, Taehyung’s space is neatly organized, and you’re first drawn to the large bookcase that dominates the wall adjacent to the door. He’s stuffed it full of art anthologies: Van Gogh, Renoir, Monet, and Pollock giving way to old photography textbooks on the bottom shelves. About halfway down, you spot the bound collection of his own work that you’d had made for him as a college graduation gift (you got one for yourself too, and he’d blushed beautifully when you asked him to sign it).

Across the room, his bed is carefully made, dark bedding tucked cleanly under the mattress. In place of a nightstand and opposite the dresser, he’s set up a series of box shelves for his photography equipment—you spot lenses and tripods placed alongside gadgets you would have no idea how to use. His desk sits to the left, an impressive PC setup backed by a large cork-board brimming with post-it notes, business cards, and a photograph that has you stopping in your tracks.

The first photograph Taehyung ever took.

It’d been the spring right after you both turned sixteen, and Taehyung had finally saved up enough money from his newspaper job to buy his first camera at the secondhand shop. You’d gone along, bouncing up and down with excitement for him so vigorously that the shopkeeper kept giving you strange looks over the counter.

New toy in hand, Taehyung pulled you to the park, where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom—clusters of pastel pink contrasting wonderfully against the bright blue sky. You bought yourselves some kkwabaegi at a nearby food stall as Taehyung sat on a bench figuring out how to operate the camera. Distracted by the numerous dials and buttons, he didn’t even realize you had returned until you dusted his cheek with a bit of cinnamon sugar, teasing that his cheeks were just as fluffy as the donut you subsequently handed him with a smile.

Snacks finished, you strolled along the petal covered path, chatting about everything and nothing as Taehyung continued to fiddle with the controls.

“Are you going to be able to figure it out?” you asked, skipping ahead to pluck a wildflower out of the grass after several minutes had passed without him taking a single photo.

“Actually, I think I’ve just got it.”

“Really?” you said, turning around to face him and freezing at the sound of a click and the sight of the camera held at the ready in front of his face. His grin was full of mischief as he dropped his arms at your stunned look, and you rushed back to his side to give him a joking shove. “I wasn’t ready, you jerk. I’m going to look like an idiot.”

But Taehyung was still smiling widely, already striding down the path to line up his next shot. “Don’t worry. You looked perfect.”

You’d forgotten about the photograph after that day, as Taehyung never actually showed it to you. You figured that it probably didn’t turn out right, a blurry candid, and was scrapped. Now, looking at it, it’s not his best work, but it’s not nearly as bad as you’d pictured in the moment.

It’s you, backdropped by the pink of the blossoms, with delicate petals dancing around your form. Your eyes are bright and eager as you turn to face him, the corners of your lips upturned in the beginnings of a smile and the small purple flower raised halfway to your chest.

In spite of the struggles you know you were dealing with at home, you look content. Happy.

“Oh, you’re home.”

You jump, spinning around to face where Taehyung suddenly stands just inside the doorway, and you feel something flip low in your belly.

It’s not that you’ve never seen him shirtless—years of going to the beach house together have taken care of that—but here, in the low, intimate light of his bedroom, the sight of his mostly naked body strikes you in a way that it never has before. The veins in his arms and hands pop from the heat of the shower, skin tanned by his time spent outdoors. His dark hair is still wet and, as if on cue, a drop of water falls off the end of a ringlet, your eyes following as it rolls over sharp collarbones, down a toned chest and smooth stomach, and into the towel sitting low on his hips.

Taehyung clears his throat, and one look at his flushed face tells you that your perusal of his torso hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Why are you even looking?

“I—uh—sorry,” you mumble, snapping out of your trance also flustered, words spilling out in a jumble of unexpected nerves. “I had a rough day and just felt so exposed in the living room, and if Jimin or Kook showed up and asked me how I was, I was going to lose it so I came in here as a distraction, and I promise I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything—“

“Y/N, hey.” He crosses the room to where you stand, smiling gently down at you. “I don’t mind.”

You swallow, still looking for something to distract from the fact that you were very obviously just checking him out. “You still have this?” You point at the photo of yourself, and he looks at it, expression overcome with sentimentality.

“Yeah.”

“A reminder of how far you’ve come with your work?”

He turns his eyes back to yours, slow and warm as they settle on you. “A reminder of a perfect day,” he says, voice low, before creases form at his brow. “But your day wasn’t so good?”

Your gaze drops to the floor, and you suck your lips between your teeth in a gesture that is answer enough for him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He doesn’t push; never pushes. If you told him no, you know that’d be the end of it, and he’d spend the rest of your night together coming up with different threads of conversation to divert your attention. And perhaps it’s this awareness—his consistent and mindful respect of your boundaries—that makes you so willing to open up.

“I just can’t stop asking myself if I missed signs. If I could’ve done something different. Something better.”

“Y/N—“

“We were together four years, Tae. Four fucking years.” You pull in a breath, fighting off the stinging of tears in your eyes. “And in the end, I meant next to nothing to him.”

It’s the part you’ve been struggling with the most, how you gave him years of your life—nearly half of your twenties—and let him dig his fingers into your heart only to pull it apart like clay.

Revealed bits of yourself to him that you’ve only ever showed one other person.

That man stands in front of you now, gently scrutinizing your face as he considers your words. His hands drift your way as if of their own accord, hovering into your space without ever truly touching.

“Would you want to though?” he finally asks.

“What?”

“If you could’ve done something differently. Knowing what you know now.” A pink tongue darts out to lick his lips. “Would you?”

It’s a fair question, and you know what the right answer is supposed to be. You’re supposed to say that no, that son of a bitch can burn in hell for what he did. He’s trash, you can do better—all of the empty platitudes that are supposed to be expressed when a betrayal like this takes place.

But his actions don’t erase the years you spent together. Don’t mean that what you yourself felt wasn’t real.

And you loved him. You really did.

“I don’t know.”

Taehyung doesn’t exactly seem thrilled by that but nods nonetheless, his fingers wandering back to his sides to fidget with the edges of his towel. “You must know that none of it was your fault, though.”

“But if it was?” you question. “If I could’ve been a better girlfriend, a better partner—“

“It still wouldn’t have justified what he did.” There’s an edge to his voice now, a hint of anger. “Don’t you dare let that asshole make you feel like you deserved it.”

“But—“

“No. No buts,” he says roughly, hands shooting up to grip you around the elbows. “What he did is inexcusable. There’s no making sense of it, and there’s no one to blame but him.”

You know in your heart that what he says is true, but your newfound insecurities have had you questioning your sense of self—that maybe you had a part to play in what happened. A relationship is two people after all, maybe he wouldn’t have cheated if you had—

“You did nothing wrong,” Taehyung continues, reading your mind. “He made an active choice to sleep with someone else. If he had an issue with your relationship, he had a hundred other ways to approach it. He chose to do what he did.” His hands slide up to your shoulders, appraising. “You are kind and thoughtful. Fiercely loyal. Always want what’s best for those around you. You still get breathless for the first snowfall each winter and make the most delicious triple chocolate cake.” Fingers give you a gentle squeeze. “And you never take shit from anyone. Especially people who don’t give you the respect you deserve.”

His words are a balm sinking deep into your skin, but his voice sets something alight in your core, your veins thrumming at the spots where he holds you.

What in the world is this?

“Don’t let him convince you you’re anything less than the incredible person you are,” Taehyung continues, oblivious to your perplexed state. “And if he couldn’t value that, someone else will. Lots of other fish in the sea.”

He holds your stare, gaze boring into you like he can telepathically eliminate every doubt and insecurity rattling around your skull, and a stray voice at the back of your mind thinks that whichever woman eventually gets to wake up to those eyes every morning is going to be so damn lucky.

He frowns, licking his lips again as he finally notices that you’re not altogether with him. “Are you okay?”

Y/N, what the hell?

You give yourself a little shake, playing back what he just said. “I don’t know about that.”

“You’re not okay?”

“No,” you say, taking a step back so you can loosen his grip and clear your head. “About the whole fish thing. I kind of get it now.”

He’s clearly not following. “Get what?”

“Your break from dating,” you say. “Why you wanted to stop for a while.”

He raises a long finger to rub at his bottom lip. “That’s…not quite the same.”

“Why not?”

“There were…” He tilts his head as he considers his word choice, and another drop of water slides down his chest. “Underlying circumstances.”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means it’s a story for another time when you’re not trying to deflect by turning this around on me.”

“I’m not deflecting,” you argue. “I’m just saying I understand where you’re coming from now. Dating sucks. People suck.”

He chews at the inside of his lip, studying you. “That wasn’t my intention when I told you that.”

“Yeah, well when you told me that, we didn’t know that my boyfriend was fucking another woman,” you scoff.

He sighs at your crude reminder. “There is a third option, you know.”

“What’s that?”

“Just let yourself be,” he says. “You don’t need to rush into anything either way. If something happens, it happens. If not, then no pressure to look for it. But maybe don’t close yourself off from opportunities entirely just because one bastard made a terrible decision.”

“Tae,” you begin with an exhausted, rattling breath. But he cuts you off, already anticipating your protest.

“I just know you, and I know you’ve always believed in love. Dreamed of finding ‘the one’ and settling down.” He wrinkles his nose. “Made that whole wedding mood board after Haneul kissed you for the first time when we were fifteen.”

That makes you laugh. “Hey, you helped me cut out the pictures.”

“I did.”

You look at each other for an instant, twin smiles reflected on your faces before yours falls. “I just don’t know.”

“And that’s fine,” he says kindly, gently. “It’s okay to need time, and it’s okay to want to step away from dating for a while. It would just be awful if he ruined that part of you, you know?” His voice lowers even further. “It’s a wonderful part of you.”

You feel warm all over, like the comfiest, fluffiest blanket has been draped around your shoulders.

Honestly, what would you even do without this man?

“You’re a great guy, Tae. Do you know that?”

He blushes, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, and a tingle runs down your spine before he finally looks away.

“We should get going,” he tells you. “Namjoon and Hobi said they’d meet us.”

You dip your head, the moment gone. “Okay, but I’d recommend putting on some pants first.”

His face turns a deeper shade of red.

“Over here!”

Hoseok waves you down from a table at the back of the restaurant, pulling you in for a hug once you get there, just as he has every time he’s seen you since the incident with Jace. You’re then passed along to Namjoon, who embraces you with almost bone-crushing pressure.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, swaying you side-to-side. You just nod into his chest, giving him a tight squeeze before he releases you so you can slide into the seat next to Taehyung.

Aside from the hugs and the fact that the entire dinner is a ploy by Taehyung to get you to eat, the night feels relatively normal, and you’re grateful for it. Hoseok and Namjoon dramatically complain about the perils of medical school, regaling the two of you with stories about catastrophic anatomy labs and exam mishaps to your and Taehyung’s delight. The first blip comes when Hoseok absent-mindedly mentions an all-nighter of studying for boards while simultaneously working on seating arrangements before he immediately cuts himself off, throwing you a remorseful look.

“It’s fine, Hobi,” you say. “The world doesn’t just stop because my relationship did. And I’m still excited for you and Sunny.”

He nods but still looks apologetic, causing Namjoon to hop in with a change of subject. “Oh, by the way, I have my roommate situation settled.”

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh, I’m moving in with my friend Yoongi at the end of the summer.”

“Your childhood friend?” Taehyung asks.

“That’s the one,” Namjoon confirms with a nod. “We’re planning on having a little housewarming party once we’re settled if you’ll be up for it.”

“Sounds fun,” you say. “And I’d like to meet him.”

“He’s a great guy. Musician. He’s moving into the city for work.”

“Well if you vouch for him, I’m sure he’s wonderful.”

You don’t notice it, but Namjoon gets a glint in his eye. Sipping on his water, he glances between you and Taehyung before saying, “Speaking of great guys, I’d also like to introduce you to someone.”

Taehyung stills beside you; you freeze in equally stunned silence.

Hoseok’s eyes nervously dart to Taehyung then you as he says, “Ah, Namjoon, I don’t think—“

“If you’re up for it, of course.” Namjoon looks only at you, his tone casual as if he doesn’t notice the sudden tension. “He also just got out of a long-term relationship and is kind of a mess about it. I’m thinking it might do both of you good to get back out there in a low pressure situation, especially with someone who understands.”

“I…” You don’t know what to say. You’d meant what you said to Taehyung about taking a break from dating, but you also trust Namjoon. He wouldn’t set you up with a creep, and maybe he does have a point about a low pressure date to at least take that first step.

But isn’t it too soon? You and Jace were together for years, and it’s only been a little over a month. Are you supposed to take more time? Or should you just get that first date over with? It hits you suddenly that you don’t even know how to meet people now that you’re out of school. How do capital-A Adults even find dates? Maybe it would be better to meet up with someone that’s already been vetted by one of your friends instead of some random on a dating app.

Namjoon speaks up again as your mind spins. “It’s entirely up to you. I can give you his number, and if you decide to reach out, great. If not, no harm, no foul.”

Still undecided, you turn for a second opinion. “Tae, what do you think?”

But he’s staring intently at Namjoon, expression indecipherable. Namjoon finally shifts his attention from you to engage in an intense staring contest with Taehyung across the table, the two of them clearly having some kind of silent conversation while Hoseok looks on in obvious discomfort.

You’re sitting there—just trying to figure out what the hell is going on—when Taehyung abruptly faces you, slipping a hand over your knee.

“I think you should go for it.”

His eyes are sincere, his hand hot where it rests on your skin.

“Other fish in the sea, right?”

You blink at him. Well, that’s that then. If there’s anything in the world you have complete faith in, it’s that Taehyung would never lead you astray.

Turning back to Namjoon, you shift so Taehyung’s fingers fall away. “What’s his name?”

Namjoon smiles.

“Seokjin.”

NEXT

a/n: the next two parts are my favorite, and part 4 is already around 85% written so i'll be looking to get that out asap! in the meantime, please consider leaving a like, reblog, or feedback!

taglist is open!

#taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts x reader #bts x you #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #taehyung #bts fic #bts fanfic

[ksnfangz]

COOL WITH YOU ★ SIDE A !

★ ₊˚ paring: Cupid!Ni-ki x Human!Reader

★ ₊˚ Genre: Fluff , angst(?) , unrequited love

★ ₊˚ Warnings : None?

★ ₊˚ word count: 1.2k

★ ₊˚ A/n : my brain turned off for like a month but i randomly decided to write this! hope it isn’t to shitty lol. Enjoy <3 ( yes there will be a part two aka side B !! sorry for any spelling / grammar errors.

Couples. Ni-ki hates couples, which is pretty ironic since he’s the reason half of them currently exist. Thought it was not like he had a choice seeing as he was born as an angel a cupid at that.

At first, it was fun being able to make two people fall in love and watch how some relationships blossomed while others fell apart, but over time it grew repetitive The constant matchmaking and shadowing had taken a toll on the boy.

When he first told his mother how he felt she just brushed it off as the boy not liking the idea of love… which wasn’t surprisingly not that rare writhing cupids but what she got wrong was that Ni-ki does want love.

He’s just tired of helping everyone else with their love lives when he can’t even help himself. As he continued to trail behind his new match he couldn’t help but wonder when would cupid shoot him with an arrow if that were even possible.

“ Don’t you ever get bored?” Ni-ki questions looking away from the couple-filled streets “What do you mean?.” Jungwon asks looking over at the boy.

“ Of watching people fall in love, of being invisible, stuck in the shadows.” the younger explains, jungwon simply shakes his head.

“ Not I think it’s quite amazing actually…” Jungwon replies smiling as a couple walks past holding hands. Ni-ki scoffs. “You don’t get it.”

“ It’s okay to not like your job Ni-ki Lots of cupids hate their job.” Jungwon says

“But this is a job that I can’t quit I’m stuck doing this until… I don’t even know when.” Ni-ki whines slamming his head down onto the table. Jungwon softly patted the boy's head.

“ I mean you can quit…” a new voice spoke causing Ni-ki to sit back up. It was Jay another angel.

“But there’s consequences, have you heard about Heeseung?” Jay asks, Ni-ki shaking his head.

“Who is that?”

“ he was my friend, and once a cupid like us… a few years ago he gave up his wings to become human, all for some mortal he’d fallen in love with.”

“But isn’t falling in love with a mortal forbidden?” Jungwon says confusedly. There were a lot of things angels couldn’t do.

“Yes, which is why he’s no longer here It’s been said that he is still human… but his lover was taken away,” Jay replies causing the younger's eyes to widen. “They killed the mortal?” Ni-ki asks loudly.

“No of course not they just wiped heeseung from their memory, I heard they ended up falling for someone else.” Jay states the two boys letting out sighs. “ Heesueng tried to come back and beg for forgiveness but a fallen angel never regrows their wings.”

“So what was the point in telling me all that?” Ni-ki questions. “To show its better to be an angel and live in the shadows than be a mortal and have everything about your life out in the open.”

“But what if I’m tired of the shadows?”

“That's on you Ni-ki, since only you can stop yourself from stepping into the light.”

Walking along the busy streets Ni-ki mindlessly trailed behind the latest couple, who were making their way to an art museum.

Normally when Ni-ki grew tired of one couple he’d leave and find a new one but despite his boredom, he knew these two were a good match and wanted to make sure they’d succeed.

Their names were Eunjin and Daesoo and they’d been friends for years now silently crushing on one another. Well, that was until Ni-ki stepped and in used his magical powers to get the two idiots to confess. Now his job was to protect their relationship until it was stable enough for them to handle on their own.

Upon entering the art museum Ni-ki watched as the couple showed their tickets and joined the crowd of people waiting for their tour guide.

The crowd seemed like your average group of people couples here and there, a few college students and critics. However, one person stood out quite a bit. Or at least in Niki’s eyes, though he couldn’t see his face the girl seemed much brighter than everything surrounding her.

While everyone else seemed to wear more Dark attire the girl wore a bright blue cardigan hanging loosely on her shoulders, paired with a white skirt matching the headband on her head.

Ni-ki watched as she stared up at the painting as if she were in a trance her curious eyes shining under the museum lights.

Neither of them realized that the crowd had now moved on to the next piece. Ni-ki also eventually found himself staring at a piece of art but it wasn’t the painting on the wall.

“ Y/n.” called out a voice pulling the girl— y/n out of her trance.

“Come on before you get left behind.”

“Okay coming! Heeseung.” she replied voice bright and cheerful as she skipped off toward her … friend?

wait Heeseung? Lee Heeseung, the fallen angel.

Watching as the two walked off and joined their group, Ni-ki averted his eyes from the painting that the girl had been captivated by moments ago.

He could see why she stared for so long. Psyche and Cupid.

But Psyche can’t see Cupid.

So what’s the point?

It was now a few days later and it was safe to say he still didn’t get the point, even after days of following the pretty human around, The boy could probably tell you every detail of her face from how long he’d stared hoping she’d eventually look back at him. Though it never happens he still hopes.

Sometimes he finds himself thinking of what Jay said. “Only you can stop yourself from stepping into the light.” he repeats to himself as he watches the girl read next to her window, The soft taps of rain hitting the glass echoed over the soft sniffles coming from the girl.

“ If I give up my wings will you finally see me?” Ni-ki asks and of course, receives no answer. He sighs having an internal battle with himself.

“ I don’t wanna give up my wings if it means I can't have you.”

He thinks back to Jay's story about Heeseung, how his lover was taken away from him when he left. Was Ni-ki willing to risk it? Was he ready to risk losing something he didn’t even get the chance to have?

As he watched the girl climb into her bed and fall into a peaceful slumber looking effortlessly beautiful despite the dried tears on her cheeks, he realized he’d do anything to make sure he’d be there to wipe away her tears. Whether she loved him or not.

“ Jay! You idiot I told you not to tell them the story about heeseung!” Jake shouts shoving Jay's chest. Jay stumbled back confusedly shocked by Jake's aggressiveness.

“ What are you talking about? What’s going on?” Jay asks. “ The story about turning human to peruse love” Jake reminds. “ You told Ni-ki and jungwon about it right?” Jay nods

“ Well Jungwon found a letter from Ni-ki this morning and it says that he’s going to give up his wings for some girl from a museum,” Jake explains, all the color drains from Jay's face.

“ As long as the higher power doesn’t know why Ni-ki is giving them up he should be fine.” Jay states.

“ Yeah but what if they find out?”

“ Another cupid will be sent down to make her fall for someone else.”

“ and what about Ni-ki?”

“ he stays human but will not be able to have a lover unless a cupid uses their powers to form a connection”

“ Shit…”

as always likes and reblogs are appreciated but not required thank you for reading ily <33

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