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gabriel-xander · 9 days

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Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

7: Your Mom Paid Me to be Your Friend (but She Forgot to Pay Me)

♪⁠────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You yawn dramatically, stretching your arms above your head but you end up knocking your knuckles harshly on the headboard above you.

Ouch.

That certainly woke you up. You reluctantly pull yourself out of bed, just sitting there for a moment with your eyes closed. You… You don’t feel like doing anything today, if you’re honest. You and Toriel made plans today to go buy groceries to try making a recipe you found in one of her books. Now that you’re actually awake though, you don’t want to do anything. You just want to waste away in bed for today.

You’re sure you’ll have more energy tomorrow-

Knock Knock Knock.

You cover your mouth with your elbow when you yawn again, “Yes?”

Toriel opens the door and enters the room with a smile, “Good morning, my child. Nice to see you are already waking up.”

“My body is getting into the habit of waking up at this time, I guess,” You reply, smiling at her, “Are we going out for breakfast again today?”

“I–Yes,” Toriel’s smile becomes a bit strained at your tone, “Take your time to get dressed as always, alright?”

“Mhm.”

She leaves the room swiftly and closes the door behind her. Her smile drops to an expression of sadness immediately. Toriel is sure that you didn’t mean to, but your tone was so exhausted, and not the type of exhaustion that came from drowsiness. You’re getting tired of routine already. You need something new.

Toriel takes a deep breath, nods to herself, and hardens her resolve. It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine. After all, there’s someone she wants you to meet (again) after breakfast.

⁠────

You tilt your head to the right.

Napstablook tilts his head (rather, the top part of his body) to the right.

You tilt your head to the left.

Napstablook tilts his head to the left.

You straighten up.

Napstablook also straightens up.

You grin, “Hey, man! You’re that ghost from my second day here, the one who’s really good at fake sleeping!”

The ghost perks up with a little smile, “you remembered me…?”

“Of course I did! You’re one of a kind, you know,”

A red, ghosty blush appears on his cute little face. As you and Toriel returned from breakfast, you were surprised to see Napstablook just waiting outside, lying down and (presumably) feeling like garbage while a song blasted from his headphones. When he noticed you two, he swiftly got up, and his headphones disappeared somehow.

Wow. That was pretty cool. You have no idea how he did that.

“um… i was wondering if… if you would like to hang out…” The ghost asks awkwardly, “but i understand if you don’t want to… no pressure…”

“Wait, really?” You smile wide, “Yeah, that’d be great, dude! Oh, I’m [Y/n] [L/n], by the way. But just [Y/n] is fine.”

Yep! Napstablook already knows, but he nods anyway.

“i am napstablook, but you can call me blook, or blooky…” He looks at Toriel, “if it’s okay, i’ll take [y/n] to my favorite music store here in the ruins…”

You expect your girl-dad to interject and say no, but to your surprise, she’s wearing a happy smile and nodding. “Of course! Though, I must ask you, Napstablook, to please take care of her. As you know, monsters might be eager to fight a human, and I cannot bear knowing she’ll be hurt.”

“of-of course… miss toriel…”

“Just Toriel is fine.”

“right…” Napstablook looks at you with a nod, “if you’re ready now, we can get going…”

You blink, “Oh, right! Uh, wait–my clothes…”

You’re not wearing your striped dress right now. Of course, during your time here, Toriel was more than happy to take you shopping and even made a few things for you as well. She understands you don’t want to be perceived as a child 24/7 so the only other striped clothing item you have are some ugly socks you got. Right now you’re just wearing simple dark leggings with an oversized purple sweatshirt.

If you’re going out with someone who isn’t Toriel, wouldn’t it be safer to switch into your dress? (The whole “it’s a monster’s custom that children wear striped shirts” thing and Toriel believing monsters might not be as aggressive if you’re a kid.)

“I think it should be fine, my child,” Toriel says, knowing your concerns, “After all, I’m sure Napstablook will make sure to take good care of you.” She gives the ghost a deadly glare, “Correct? You will make sure to do your best to protect my dear [Y/n], will you not?”

Poor Napstablook tears up, “yes! yes, i-i-i will…!”

“Hey, hey, hey! No need to be so strict, T!” You laugh nervously, stepping in between her and the ghost, “You’re forgetting that I’m a tough cookie! I’m not gonna hurt anyone, and no one is gonna hurt me. Besides, I think most of the monsters here in the Ruins have seen me with you and will know better than to try anything even if you’re not around.”

She sighs, “Yes, perhaps you are right. But still, both of you, be good, alright?”

“We will,” You’re about to put your arm behind Napstablook to redirect him away, but you remember that you’d phase right through, “Anyway, let’s get going, Blooky.”

He nods frantically, floating by your side as you two begin to leave back to the city. Toriel balls up her fists, trying to suppress her anxiety.

You’re right…You’re right, you are very resilient and you tend to stand your ground even with Toriel. It’s not so much that she’s worried the other monsters will attack you, they’ve all gotten to know your face, and even greet you casually now.

Toriel is just nervous because of that flower monster that almost killed you the first day you arrived here. There still has been no sign of it, and it’s the main reason why Toriel wants you to stay in the house if she’s not out accompanying you instead. Hopefully, Napstablook will take what Toriel asked of him yesterday very seriously.

⁠──

Toriel was outside, sweeping up the fallen leaves from the tree again. She knows that it’s an endless cycle of the leaves falling, so she focuses on making sure the leaves are neat and don’t look out of place. You had turned in early for the day, and are sleeping peacefully.

“I spent all day trying to do some personal research on souls from your books. Did you know that all human souls contain something called Determination?”

You were telling her yesterday, books scattered around you and the floor with your notebook (that she bought for you) in front of yourself. You were in the lounge area on the floor, scribbling notes while looking through the books. You never liked sitting in the big chair since “that’s Chariel, the beloved living room chair,” so Toriel had put out a rug on the floor to make it a little more comfortable for you.

“I wanna take a nap though. I know it’s annoying, but can you NOT clean this up?” You asked her while getting up, “I wanna pick up where I left off later, and I don’t wanna lose my spot. But I used enough brain power the last hour, I’ve earned a little nap.”

You did not take a little nap, you passed the fuck out. Still, Toriel respected your wishes and left the books on the floor. Since you slept so early, Toriel decided to take this time to tidy up outside.

That’s when a friendly little ghost sauntered up the house. He looked extremely nervous, but Toriel was more focused on her mystery friend finding the right ghost so soon! She straightened up and cleared her throat.

“Welcome, welcome. You must be the ghost from all those weeks ago,” She sets the broom aside against the tree, “I am Toriel, thank you for taking the time to come here.”

“oh… it’s no problem…” Napstablook purposely avoided Toriel’s eyes from anxiety, and if he had hands, he’d nervously be fidgeting with his fingers, “did… did i do something wrong…?”

“Oh, no! Not at all. On the contrary, I’d like to talk to you to ask for a favor.”

“a favor…?”

“As you know, there is a human that is staying with me. Her name is [Y/n] and she has been here for almost a month now.”

“ah, right…” Napstablook nodded, “that human child who believed in my fake sleeping… she was really nice…”

“Yes, about that. She…” Toriel took a deep breath, “[Y/n] is not a child, she is a grown woman. She and I both have our hesitation when it comes to her interacting with the other monsters for this reason. Not only that but there is a particular monster that has it out for her.”

Wait, so you’re not a kid? But what about that striped dress you were wearing? Don’t you know only kids wear striped shirts? Well… Yeah, okay. You’re a human, you wouldn’t know that. Still, it makes sense why Toriel was giving him the stinky eye when he first met you. If monsters have no problem killing a child whenever one falls into the Underground, then of course they might be harsher when it comes to an objectively scarier adult.

“[y/n] isn’t a mean human, is she…?”

“No, she is rather kind. She has her… eccentric moments, for sure. And perhaps her humor can be… not for everyone, but she is a kind human,” Toriel shook her head dejectedly, “Which is why I cannot fathom why there is a particular monster who is after her so violently.”

Napstablook, for some reason, can only think of Sans.

“wha-what do you mean…? what monster?”

“There is some type of flower monster that nearly killed her were it not for me interfering just in time.”

Phew. Oh, okay. So NOT Sans.

…

That is still concerning, though.

“I can’t be too careful when it comes to her safety, so I made sure to only allow her to leave the house as long as I accompanied her. But… As you may be able to guess, the lack of new companions and staying indoors so often can be rather lonely for a human like her. Not even my companionship can help her.”

Toriel took a deep breath, “So if it’s all the same to you, I would appreciate it if you could spend some time with her out in the city–here in the Ruins. And make sure she stays safe as well. She expressed once or twice that she was interested in getting to know you, so I figured if I were to ask anyone, it would be you.”

…

Huh?

Is… Is Toriel basically asking him to be your friend and your bodyguard?? That’s all she wants from him? Sans made him think something super serious was going to go down, or that he’d have to be careful of the human trying to murder his face. Toriel has no reason to lie to him about the human’s nature. And just like he suspected, you’re kind and Toriel agrees to it, too. That thing about a flower monster wanting you dead for no reason though…

Napstablook has some (self) doubt.

“you… you want me to hang out with the human-”

“-Her name is [Y/n].”

Napstablook winced, “right, sorry… but… you want me to hang out with [y/n], and… protect her…?” He looked away, “i don’t know if… if i’m strong enough… i can do my best, though…”

She sighed, “[Y/n] is not so weak that she needs a demanding presence over her shoulder, but there is only so much she can do by herself. I just don't want anything to happen to her, but I cannot have her stay inside all day, either.”

Napstablook nodded slightly, “yeah… i’m not very social myself, but i still go out and talk to other people because i know it’s good for me…”

“Then please, tomorrow once [Y/n] and I have breakfast, come by and take her out to have some fun.”

“yes, miss toriel… i can do that…”

“And Napstablook?”

“ah, yes?”

Toriel looked at him with desperation, “Please… Please don’t share this information about my dear [Y/n]. There’s no telling what might happen if word got out that an adult human is living in the Underground.”

⁠────

Napstablook smiles at your eagerness, and content as you take a seat on the piano stool. This place is small and doesn’t have a lot of variety in instruments. But you don't seem to mind at all, in fact, you were super excited to go to the different instruments going “Lookie!”

“Not to give myself a congratulatory slap on the ass cheek, buuuut I’m pretty mediocre when it comes to the piano.” You… gloat?

“aw, i’m sure you’re great…”

“Oh, I was just joking, Blooky.”

“oh……. so-”

“-If you apologize one more time, I’m gonna sing your praises passive-aggressively. Want me to do that again?”

Oh, God. 10 minutes ago you had stopped him in the middle of the street and started yelling nice things at him! It caused a scene (only 2 monsters were watching) and your kind words brought him to tears! You said things like: “Oh, look at me! I’m Blooky! Everyone is always so happy to see me, and the room gets brighter when I float in!”

THAT’S… THAT’S SO??? NICE? BUT CONFUSING?!

So no, Napstablook is not looking forward to that again.

He frantically shakes his head, “n-no…! no, i’ll stop apologizing…”

“Aaanyway! I can play a few songs on the piano. I only bothered learning when I was in my Theater Kid Arc™.” You tell him, “I think I know just the one, too. Ready to hear my tunes?”

“yeah, let's hear what you got…!”

You make a show of popping your fingers dramatically before playing…

“It’s Raining Somewhere Else.”

Yep. You’re hella corny like that. You know a few Undertale tracks because Undertale was at its fucking peak while you were in high school. And no, the Undertale OST is not the only music you bothered to learn, but how are you not going to play absolute banger?

You never managed to learn “Megalovania,” though. You learned the other variations of it, such as those really sad piano cover versions that people go crazy over. You don't know if you remember it well, though. Ah, but one of your other favorite ones was always “Waterfall” since they were just lovely.

Anyway, short story long, you know how to play piano originally to woo your old love in theater club, and guess what mother fuckers?! It fucking worked so it paid off!

In any case, Napstablook looks like he’s really enjoying it! You guess you could say…

It was…

Resonating with his soul!

Ahh, you’re so funny!

Anyway, it seems some monsters are coming closer to listen in. Oh boy, guess you’ll have a chance to show off those songs too if they think you’re here to perform.

⁠────

After getting you back to Toriel and agreeing to visit again tomorrow, Napstablook leaves the Ruins with a smile on his face, and a pep to his ghostly… floating? He left in a good mood, and for once, he was looking forward to hanging out with someone again. He’s humming that first song you played on the piano, wondering if you’d appreciate him trying to replicate the tune to make into a remix-

“napstablook.”

“AHH!!”

The ghost spins around with fear and tears in his eyes, clutching his invisible pearls close. He sighs heavily in relief and slight irritation when he sees who it is. The skeleton monster is sitting casually by the big bush right outside the Ruins’ doors. Sans’ grin widens slightly while he pushes himself to stand.

“ah, sans… it's… it's just you…” Napstablook wants to cry, “were… were you waiting for me the whole time…?”

“nah, i got here a short while ago and took a nap,” Sans answers honestly with a shrug, “so? what happened? what did the lady want from you?”

Oh, right. Napstablook was supposed to be some kind of double agent. But now that he knows the situation is different, he can’t help but feel bad that he originally had ulterior motives.

“uhm… i’m not sure if it's okay for me to say…” Napstablook looks away.

Sans feels his eye socket twitch. “oh, come on, bud. was it really that bad?”

“it's not that, but i was asked not to tell…”

“it’s a little too late for that, don’tcha think? I already know there’s a human in the ruins.”

“right…”

The ghost sighs heavily. Well… it should be fine if he just doesn't tell Sans too much, right? He doesn't think Sans is malicious and will abuse this information, but Toriel specifically asked him NOT to share about you.

“well, miss toriel wanted-ah, toriel is that monster lady who asked for me.”

“huh? oh, uh, good to know.”

“all miss toriel wanted was… she just wanted me to hang out with the human…”

“…? and?”

Napstablook shrugs the best he can, “that’s it. we went to the small city in the ruins and hung out at the music store… she’s really good at playing piano, you would’ve liked it, i think…”

…HAH?

“huh…” Sans furrows his brow-bones together, “did toriel say why?”

THIS part Napstablook feels like he really shouldn't share at all. Maybe he can lie by omission.

“uh… just that she’s lonely…”

“…uh huh…”

“this human is really nice, you know…” Napstablook continues to say, feeling as if he should defend your honor, “she said she doesn't wanna leave the ruins any time soon, so i don’t think you have anything to worry about…”

Sans snorts, “i’m not worried about, anything, buddy.”

“but yesterday you said you were worried…”

Curses! He’s been caught!

“meh, things change.” Sans shrugs, “so, what's the human’s name, huh?”

“……………i can't say.”

“oh-really?”

“sorry, sans,” Napstablook says immediately at the other's deadpan tone, “but miss toriel asked me not to say anything, to begin with…”

The skeleton monster resists the urge to run his hand down his face. He supposes he should’ve expected this. Napstablook is a good egg and willing to help out, but he’s too straight-laced. And the thing is, Sans could easily find a shortcut into the Ruins to see for himself, but he’s sure the other monsters would say something about a mysterious skeleton sighting.

“nah, i get it. thanks anyway, bud,” Sans gives the anxious ghost a friendly wink, “i gotta stay out here anyway, but you’re free to go.”

“oh… okay… see you later, sans…….”

“see ya.”

Napstablook doesn’t think he can handle it any longer, and just straight up fades away to avoid being looked at. Ugh, he was having a good time, but now he wants to go home, lay down and feel like garbage.

Tag List

@lemonboy011

#fanfiction #reader insert #female reader #don't forget fanfiction #sans undertale #sans x reader #undertale #sans #toriel #napstablook

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thegreathomestuckreread · 7 months

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so i'm rereading homestuck2 because when i read the new update i could hardly remember what it was referring to

and i just got to the yiffy reveal and read the whole page where jade and rose explain it to john (pg. 234)

and look i know there are so many problems people have with this whole ordeal on like a moral level or whatever but rn i'm just like............ god it's just fucking stupid? and not in a 'haha omg that's so stupid i love it' way, but in a 'genuine befuddlement at what the actual fuck thought process could possibly lead someone to make such bad stupid writing decisions' way

it just does not make sense on a character level for anyone involved, to not talk to kanaya at all in the first place and then just keep this whole child a secret for 15 years tucked away at a boarding school when the explanation given for having it in the first place is that jade was feeling lonely and left out and wanted some of the normalcy she perceived in her peers and had generally ached for her whole life

jade's reasoning for wanting a child in the first place and all those complicated feelings, that mostly checks out, that's not what i think is stupid, it's just the execution of it all, up to and including the child's name

like if she was deeply aching for this child and sense of normalcy then having the child secretly, giving it the dumbest name known to bipedal sentient life, and hiding it so she could basically never see it seems like the antithesis to the solution here

i also skimmed the recap page for the epilogues at some point, which reminded me that this sort of mind-twisting what-the-fuck garbage is par for the course here and especially in the candy universe. i haven't reread the epilogues since i finished streaming them, which was over four years ago, because at that time i decided that i didn't really want to put myself through that again, and as i skimmed the recap and physically cringed at the events described i am now recalling why i never touched it again

to clarify i'm not like seething with deep rage at any of this, i'm just kinda like. oh. well that's fucked. and just like generally bad :/ why would you do that

and i'm still excited to continue following what comes next, as i generally enjoy the creative vision of the new team like james roach and kim quach and floralmarsupial and haven vintagefoods

i don't remember how i originally felt about any of this stuff but it's been interesting refreshing myself on the tonal shift between hs proper and hs2 (which i really should start referring to as hsbc because they have formally removed the 2 from the title)

there's absolutely still parts i have enjoyed about hs2 as i reread it this is just. very very far from being that. yeah

#homestuck #homestuck2 #hs #hs2 #personal

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wishchthumblr · 10 months

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time for long and not re read vent post aha

i am genuinely so fucking mad at my mom rn

im crying over twitter because it seems like it’s actually breaking this time, more than last. and i know its “the shit site” and it’s “garbage” and whatever but i dont care because its my home. its the only social media (before now maybe tumblr too) that ive felt good using. insta made me feel so terrible and nothing else really worked before i got twitter.

i’ve always been more of a lurker than poster and twitter made that possible for me, its where ive spent over a year. its the first social media i actually enjoy using. and then that dick head bought it and is just breaking it on purpose at this point.

i went to my mom almost crying because my mental health has been so terrible recently that ive barely been able to bring myself to even use my phone, let alone twitter and the thought of Being Perceived brought me physical pain. and then im finally okay enough to go on it and talk to my friends and see the people i admire and the first thing i see is everyone leaving. and my mental health just goes down again.

im telling her about the new limit shit and how everyone is leaving and that //im scared// and she just. makes some joke about how “im sure that doesn’t apply to the musk supporters🙄” and something about musk’s relationship with chinese government

what. just WHAT

does she not see that im saying this with tears in my eyes? does she not hear that im about to cry in my voice? does she not see that i dont fucking care about the politics of it because im losing my friends and my outlet and the people i look up to and im losing the place i used to go to make myself feel better after dealing with everything in my real life and im losing the good memories.

she keeps doing this again and again and im so tired of it. your daughter is terrified of losing her friends and her safe place and you’re joking about chinese bots and politics? i feel like my mom doesn’t care

im literally crying while writing this and she’s posting on her facebook about some “oh but im sure the pro chinese gov and elon support accounts will still be able to tweet🤔🤔” bullshit

im so tired of her and other people disregarding my feelings and genuine heartbreak over losing my online support system because “oH iTs juSt TwiTtEr LOOLLLL itS alL ShiT anYwAy!!!!”. i hate you. i genuinely hate people who say that. how dare you just throw aside other peoples support systems and livelihoods like that just because its on a website you dont like. how fucking dare you. it doesn’t matter if the website comes back because you directly told me you dont care about my fear.

idk im just so tired of it. idk tumblr etiquette about venting or whatever but i needed to get this out. might delete later if i feel better idk. just. be nicer to people. just because you don’t relate doesn’t mean your dismissal isn’t breaking my heart and my trust in you. this is why i never tell people anything and just hide away whenever i feel terrible

#personal vent

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dragynkeep · 2 years

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Man fuck youtube, I was going about my day in blissful ignorance. Blessedly unaware of some jackass called andrew tate. Suddenly I'm getting video recommendations every few days of video essays about this punk bitch and why he's the worst thing to happen since the inception of tik tok. So fine I gave in and am watching a video essay and oh my god I'm now seething in rage and if I ever have the extreme unfortunate curse of seeing him in public I'm gonna grab the nearest solid metal maybe a tire iron or a metal pipe whatever's available beat him until his skull is splattered on the floor crush his dick into a tiny hole set his body on fire and dunk him in the nearest garbage dump where he belongs.

People like him are why right-wing fascism is on the rise again. Because their perceived social power is threatened by women gaining rights, independence, equality, and respect. It makes me sick that so many kids are tuning into him and he's possibly raising a new generation of violent hateful misogynistic entitled abusers. Seriously what will it take to get the collective male population online to understand women and afab are not the enemy, inferior, or a threat? They're human beings and just because we're now finally starting to gain prominence in society like men have for millennia that doesn't make men's roles and participation in society pointless.

This bitch better watch his back because it's on sight and I'll use his decapitated head as a volleyball to punt other women-hating bitches into the ground.

Pretty much why I dislike Youtube on a principle lmfao.

If you feel threatened by people evening the playing field, you should stop and examine exactly what is making you feel threatened.

#discourse #answered #luke.txt

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quintiliusheartripper · 1 year

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⏳ for quint as well as vytt and kytt >:3

"my mother got rid of me a week after i was born" quint laughs at this "she had me in secret...didnt want anyone to know she had a child with a gladium. She always was narcissistic. So with that, my earliest memories are of the fahrar and other cubs didnt like me because i got some preferential treatment and softer punishments sometimes thanks to the primus having known me since i was new born and not even able to eat meat yet when i was put in their hands. With that i grew up with a warband that took me in reluctantly because the primus told them to" he leans back as he thinks about it, rolling a ring on his fingers "not that it mattered when i became 8 years old"

---

"If you couldnt tell I was born sick" vytt shuffled the cards and dealed "but that is obvious with how thin i am" he smiles as he looks at his cards "but since you asked about my past its a key thing to know about me...especially when you know how charr culture is like towards whatever is perceived as weak. I was ash legion, as my dame was, and while that thinness was sometimes useful the other cubs wanted to see when id finally expire. They would even try to make it happen themselves. " You both show your hand, vytt wins. "I was particularly close to my dame, honestly. She was one of the two people who were kind to me and she would for years after sending me to the fahrar come and see me. She would give me new pets with my interest in animals whenever she was back from missions. But one day she just stopped coming to my fahrar as she got busier and busier..." He dealt another hand "im sure Id be a different man if she hadnt abandoned me"

----

"oh yeah me and vytt were childhood friends" kytt let out smoke from his mouth, looking at his cigar "we were the two little runts. Vytt was...well look st him! I can hold his waist in my palms! And i sucked at using weapons, sucked at making anything, was shit at being sneaky, and bad at remembering how poisons were made. Pure and simple i was the garbage in that years fahrar and all the cubs made sure i knew" his hand snakes onto your thigh "but vytt...vytt always defended me. Always watched out for me. I made sure to be by his side and be the one to hold him when he realized his dame wasn't coming back. " He licks his lips and puts the cigar to his lips"and now he stays by my side no matter what i do"

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citrus-feline · 2 months

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theres a part of me thats like "oughhh i should make a blog just for my writing" but oh my god if anyone who ever talks to me found that i think i would blow up and die 1 million deaths. already bad enough with them knowing what my ao3 account is. the nature of tumblr is i would just post what the fuck ever including the stuff that as of now is forever locked away into my docs. its too open man i think i would cry if one of my more teasing friends found that shit and started to read aloud my cringe ass reader insert smut. like infinitely more cringe than the shit i already post. you dont understand how much of that garbage stays locked away for just me and me alone. makes me sick to think about the potential of people perceiving that side of me. every mental illness inside of me would be dissected down to the atom i swear to god. like i dont even HAVE friends that do that kinda shit but i am still fearful of it hsjkdffhksjdhfksdg

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randomclam24 · 4 months

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It feels like just yesterday I got up when I had my first memory in life thinking, what am I going to do with it? All of a sudden the imposition is being completed that America is dead and so are you, so to speak, when, generalistically, the mechanisms to do whatever treadmill-running having an actual government has is already happening en masse - like it's not hard; it is demonstrated by all *these* people, who are losers, still making it, fundamentally proving that fun and games is all it could *be* - that is, when being compared to the kind of grief *I* have that, once started to become explained, always gets the response, it's because you're botching the whole thing and you should start *over* when that's projection - it's just supposed to be according to the spreadsheet Trying hard functions only unconsciously as incitement to the onlooker to interventionism to what they will explain they have explained they had perceived in calm terms as in the phrase, insanity is trying the same thing repeatedly expecting different results, even though this is dead false and projection in its founding premise, this action of disingenuity proving that higher effort than letting the instructions guide you unconsciously in a psychosis is fundamentally forbidden If that *weren't* the case throughout all human existence, we could have started fresh, as in that "no time like the present" at any times. But I realize in the fact that even in writing this out, to be read, it has to "pass", as they call it, what they call "passing" really is the first and foremost priority undergirding society than all this rubbish about practicalism and garbage, because practicalism in the end is about finally *passing*, after the fact of all this inevitable thought leaking in And in editing it further, you quickly realize starting fresh all but in the first few immediate moments requires quite literally shaking the populations of different factions *off* before you can quietly finish the sentence as to what you *weren't* saying to the effect of their garbage in the founding premise, but what you said (at that point it becomes apparent that dead culture weighs like the weight of the whole earth, and thoughts start to inevitably leak *through* the "relative superficiality" of your "fresh start" in that you're better off not *associating* with other humans You're never really in for a fresh start. Thoughts leaking in in an inevitable way *precede* consciousness (always has

Despite this being a means to turn a potential means to more of the same on its head, I don't know why I even put *in* my two cents. There is no one out there to be reciprocating anyway. There *are* none.

And I hate how the thing that you're saying always has to come *into* the conversation, even when it's not even said and it's only in their head, that's already been told and then tweak the terms like, oh, no, this isn't

But in reality, if we didn't have major belief complexes built on falsely-tweaked details in the founding premises

I see no other means because talking about it only gets caught in the web, efforts then finding themselves having no other means

With America being currently pronounced dead, am I just supposed to shut up? I was busy, and then they were just like, *no*

Most of what mankind needs is handed down by what are known as instructions. You don't *know* how to do things like plant crops and so forth unless you have specific paths to fulfill only after the fact and nothing active

Going against the grain after the fact of the elements making their hardships known is what is known as abusiveness - that's why you can tell, when someone intervenes on me trying to do interventionism with the way they do it, they're correct

But what Common Filth calls these hardships of the elements making themselves known is this "foregone conclusions" - specifically it's because it's being said in the way that everyone expresses this: they really believe that the elements making things hard is trying to tell you something

But of course, all my life I've had people who say for instance it wouldn't matter if the soil is ruined forever, we just (we? specifically you(because the will to do it is legitimate and not just being faked so I don't get in trouble as is the base stance)) gotta keep running the treadmill because that's what our forefathers did, those being boomers - I don't know if there *is* any merit to this nation Yeah, in reality, there *is* no material in work outside of the compartments made under Industrial Revolution

In life, I tried to do something, and they *stopped* me - hardships in life can *only* be what was allotted under the compartmentalization of Industrial Revolution

People making statements regarding the state of the state always have this assumption like it's going to be a lasting truth pushing forward - when posed specifically, it's the meta-game of what you yourselves have to go through immediately

What I think Common Filth is putting on, and I've put this off for years on end, is that America the nation as a modern development was one founded under the Industrial Revolution. The way things are compartmentalized, people are meant to have their freedom I mean office space Under this method, things aren't working - but already again I'm forgetting America wasn't *built* with my non-compartmentalized method in mind that's un-American and I will be very-focusedly *chastised* (I don't know what the very-focusedly part is about because they never know what exactly they're saying - I just find a lot of projection)

"God" doesn't really have a place for "sinners" - you're just supposed to compartmentalize

I'm crashing - I'm not going to *make* it next year

I always wanted, since like college, to have a robot replacement to stand in for my education and employment and so forth, because it's all a compartmentalization

Update The way people think of hopes and dreams is like there's going to be a sky from a poster that says "The sky's the limit" with people mid-air on it In the modern specific moment, what constitutes "hope" is contained in the way the nature of people's jumps to assumptions is like interaction with a system of vacuum tubes fixed deep in cement, osmosis happening instantly, and how we're not supposed to let the guilt by association that has nothing to do with us happen, where it would just otherwise I don't know why people apply good feelings to the future. They're fundamentally not applicable. We just have more of these [In real life, the best moments you're going to get are spent *otherwise* from the constant onslaught of the future being gated. That's what's considered the *present* - the future as a glacier being picked back is *always* going to be bleak]

Sitting on that, you do realize, with all these associations coming to a head all in their due time like a conveyor belt of absoluted consensus, in reality we all just sit in our block-ass houses perpetually? How in the hell would any of all that even apply to anything, given it's the first and foremost assumption of life that we just not do anything

https://imgur.com/sihJS3z

1/06 It's the thirstiest time of the year, and it is a foregone conclusion that you will submit your souls to the world governance

https://imgur.com/IsKMrcP

I figured I was previously going too many layers deep with this, so here's a new one

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stardust-in-my-mind-blog · 5 months

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letter to mother in law

I'm writing this shit

in epic poetry

written in my own

fucking writing voice

calligraphy

and it would be

just your luck

if I got famous

just because

you bitches

slay me

like the knights

used to slay dragons

and you fucking know

those dragons were way

more awesome

than any

of those fucking knights

maybe not for humans

or civilizations

but just to take a moment

in collected and concentrated

awe

and imagine

those mythical creatures

in our lives

around our hearts

isn't that where you really

and secretly

and truly

dream?

Oh that's just me

talking about the things

that spin and dance around

in my brain

while all you can do

is listen to the garbage complaints

of the son you obviously

didn't raise to think for himself

just obey

and avoid the consequences

I don't play that way

always had to as a kid

I'll say whatever you need to

slip into whatever role

you think you're

manipulating me

into

see where you take this

wonder where it will go

then stop

change my mind

and do what I please.

It's my life.

I get to.

I am raising three young adhd children.

I say that because it matters.

It's a condition diagnosed by people who

spend years

learning about emotions

document the data

that has been collected

then studied by researchers

over years

with a motivation to

understand the behavior patterns

of humans who seem

to have an issue of extra energy

and a different way of

perceiving the world

and how you can make their lives

and your own life

raising them

more harmonious and enjoyable

for all of you

just by educating yourself a bit more

about how mental health works

it's like you think mental health

is a thing

and not an intentional

maintinannce

of not raging out

when everything and

everyone you care about

seems to see

is how you're failing to be

the kind of human

they want you to be

because you came here to be you

and they want a different version of you

but you're you and

you're me

and all our relationships

are mirrors where we

recognize parts of each other

and have to either

integrate it or

absorb it

or take it into your heart

without any kind of filter

because they are the ones

who teach you how to

write love on your heart

and some of them

choose to brand you with it

and tell you not to

scream when it burns

because that means you're

not tough

and only the strong

survive

some of them buy

brushes and ink

and write it in

permanent color

and the older hearts

get the love

lovingly tattooed on their heart

if they want to

and it's sharp

and it also burns

but not like the brand

and some hearts

carve the names

who branded them

off of themselves

with lightsabers

or talons

and find a way to

make the scar tissue

beautiful mess

a mural of

a journey tapestry

with a tragic beginning

but those were hard lessons

all of us end up learning

along the way

they just got it faster

I guess

because life is nature

and nature is here to

grow stuff

and see what kind of

wild things survive

so we survived

with the names

we love

on our hearts.

To me you are the woman

who taught Ben that

Meet Joe Black

is the right way

to think about love.

I know that he will

watch The Mask Of Zorro

by my side

with Theo

who was a cowboy

for Halloween

and Ben was a cowboy too.

You have a picture of

Fiona wearing

a pink cowboy hat

in your bathroom

and a pegasus on the shelf in there

with so much stuff about horses

I always felt a little at home.

It's okay that I changed your feelings

about me when I

lashed out

with the fourth draft

of hate poetry

raging at your husband

because he's critical as fuck

as a pattern of behavior

and it's annoying

I've mentioned this

politely in prose

hate poetry

is the second warning

I'm just making up

arbitrary rules here

but follow them

or else you get

my creative hobby

of making my

grievences

into poetry

and you can literally

sue me

because I'll never stop

advocating

for myself

in a way

that pleases me.

But only if you ignore my direct communication.

Or try to abuse me with your mean judgements and words.

Also, I respect reasonable boundaries.

I also like to approach conflict and not avoid it.

I also give you the option of having me not come to Ben's stuff at your house. I won't take it personal and I am completely fine staying home alone. I don't need to be a reason of conflict or something that keeps the family separated.

I know what it's like. I am separated from my two of my kids for some holidays. It is what it is.

You don't have to like me. I don't have to be part of things. I just don't want Theo to miss out.

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queen-mabs-revenge · 5 years

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oh also? besides peter nearly adopting a ginger cat, pptss annual 8 can go die in an actual fire.

GWEN AND MJ WERE FRIENDS, TOO

and the story acting like they only ever related to each other as romantic rivals, and that would be mj’s only emotion when she sees clone!gwen, who’s scared and in distress is stupid, wrong, and uglie bye.

#as if clone!gwen showing up would only concern mj in relation to peter fuck off with that nonsense #and that mj would only be concerned about helping clone!gwen because peter was so distressed #FUCK OFF IT'S GARBAGE #how was the writing for women as characters so much better in the 70s or am i just having some weird projection issues?#like obv there was petty jealousy btw the 5 but it was all of them #they were all little drama queens #but mj and gwen were shown as genuinely loving and caring about each other #and bonding outside of the dumb boys #like am i making this up in my mind??#the 90s has *so* much to answer for with how these characters are perceived today #bc i was like ??? why do people think these stupid things while i was reading the original run #but now seeing how it's being handled 20 yrs later i'm like...oh haha here come the incels #garbage bullshit #proportionate thoughts of a spider

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other-peoples-coats · 2 years

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noodling around, as one does, and just thinking about how like, there's So Many Fic about people (clones, Anakin + Ahsoka, Other Misc Characters, combinations thereof) Finding Out About Obi-wan's Terminally Fucked Padawanship, in all the varied flavours from "damn bitch, you LIVE like this?" to "Jesus Christ why did no one call space!CPS", mostly depending on the author's scale of how much they like/dislike Qui-gon and/or the Jedi as a whole.

but not one of them (that I've seen! please,please link me if I've missed one) digs into, like. the violation of it? like it's always 'Oh, This Explains Some Things' and/or 'this raises So Many Questions', but there's never even really acknowledgement that...they're learning this stuff, this usually traumatic stuff, entirely without Obi-wan himself actually having a choice about it.

And like, yeah, usually the people in question don't really have a choice about it, when Kenobi is deaged/you're sent back in time to baby-wan/door number three, you basically have to roll with it, but...idk, I kinda feel like at least Someone would eventually feel kinda weird about it.

like it's one thing for your best friend/brother/dad/commanding officer/lover delete as appropriate to disclose, say, he has wildly untreated medical PTSD because he and his teacher-dad were experimented on by Evil Scientists, this is why he Doesn't Medbay, or whatever, in the course of a conversation he is actively choosing to have

it's another thing to Find Out your best friend/brother/dad/commanding officer/lover delete as appropriate has Wildly Untreated Medical PTSD from etc etc by 1)watching it or the very near aftermath Happen 2)while he's Very Much Not Choosing To Say Shit

especially since Obi-Wan, of all people, is generally shown to be A Private Sort Of Guy. it's what makes the story, often; Secrets Which None Knew! Obi-Wan would Never Have Mentioned It under Normal Circumstances, etc etc, which, don't get me wrong, love me some baby-wan innocently explaining to everyone in earshot that his life is Several Flavours Of Hot Garbage and/or people being like 'oh fuck pre-war years were pretty fucking wild huh (extremely derogatory)'.

idk just. feels like a space ripe for awkward trauma and fuck-shit-now-I-know-things-I-both-can't-unknow-and-also-am-not-meant-to-know angst and moral quandary.

on the one hand, you can't not learn things, you have to perceive! on the other hand, you know that Real Adult Kenobi would rather chew glass than admit this/be seen like this/etc

#obi-wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi #starwars #Star Wars #coats chats #am writing #bonus points for #tbh #Obi-Wan the adult #who is unable to explain to baby-wan #that 'hey yes your trauma now #but also #shut up shut up people will PERCEIVE YOU #and by you I mean ME'

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birdbrain90 · 3 years

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Lost and Found - a Sylki Story

On a lighter note than recent ones, this one's for @sheherlocked I'M SORRY IT'S GARBAGE THO LOL I WROTE IT IN 2-ish HOURS. Sylvie had long since lost the ability to be surprised. Sleeping with one eye open for as long as she had, constantly needing to look over her shoulder, to be prepared to run at a moment's notice, it was all standard practice for Sylvie.

And then there was Loki…

The fool demigod managed to shake her to the core with something so simple as a tilt of his beautiful face, a shimmer of magic across his body.

She had been following him for weeks, not wanting him to find her. No, that was the lie she told herself. The real reason was the fact that she was terrified to reach for him. Every time she would get close, desperate to touch him, something in her brain would not let her. However, she did not want to lose track of him, so she followed, like a tigress stalking her prey.

She had been steeling her nerves the past few days, finally finding it ridiculous that this had gone on for so long. She was going to go talk to him. She had to. It was the only way to find out why he had spent so long searching for her. She had watched him interrogate, search, interrogate some more in order to find her. He had described her as a “beautiful blonde woman in black and green.” having no more to go on than that, because common people wouldn’t understand much else about their crazy journey they’d been on.

She had felt bad, watching him fall to his knees and weep, far away from the world where no one else could see him, or so he thought. She wanted to reach out and hold him, to tell him he would never be alone again, but why should she? He was supposed to be by her side until the end, to stand with her when her life’s mission was complete. And yet, when the time came, he chose rational thought and logic instead. Why was she even following him? Why, when He Who Remained lay dead at her feet, was he the only face in her mind? Somehow, hearing his cries, watching his shoulders heave as he let his fist collide with a nearby tree trunk, she found it hard to be upset about all the rest.

Eventually, she managed to lose track of him. She had drifted off to sleep unexpectedly, and he was gone when she woke up. What followed was a search that took her days. Days of tracking his footprints and asking around for a beautiful man with black hair in an old, collared shirt that desperately needed tailoring. She eventually found him again, sitting on a rock by a river, someone else next to him.

A woman with long blonde hair and dressed all in blue, sat near him. She looked older, with much wisdom on her face as she ran her hand along Loki’s back.

“My darling, do not lose hope.” The woman muttered. “You will find her. I know this because I’ve never known you to give up when you want something. I was there the night you ate all those freshly baked biscuits. Do you remember?”

His mother. Sylvie had never met Frigga, and she barely remembered her own mother. She crouched behind the nearby foliage, listening to Frigga’s words and looking every inch like the lost child she truly was. She watched Loki lean against the woman, who put her arms around him and held him tight as he began crying again. Sylvie could already tell when Loki was crying without even seeing his face, his stuffy nose a dead giveaway.

“Mother, I’m so tired of being alone.”

“You’re never truly alone. Surely you know that. I am always with you, sweet boy.”

Loki’s cries intensified as a clarifying thought tore through Sylvie’s mind, almost knocking her over. Loki’s mother was long since…. “Loki... what are you doing…?” Sylvie stepped out into the clearing, scaring at least three centuries out of the God of Mischief as he frantically waved the illusion of his mother away, stumbling in the process and falling straight into the river.

Oh. Oh shit.

Sylvie didn’t even realize what she had done. She had no plan for this. She had let her heart get in the way and now she had revealed herself. She had no choice but to move forward now.

“S-...Sylvie?!” Loki exclaimed, his voice cracked from crying and landing in cold water. He hauled himself out of the river, stumbling toward her as she walked up to meet him. “Surely I’ve gone mad. It can’t be.” He reached out a hand as if to touch her arm, but retracted it immediately.

“Hi. Sorry. About that I mean.” She gestured to his soaked clothing. He shook his head, and a green shimmer ran the length of his body, drying him instantly.

“Sylvie. I’ve been… I mean, I thought I’d... You okay?”

“I should be asking you!” She was suddenly irritated by the fact that he continued to put her first. “Your mum is dead, Loki, yet I saw her sitting by you. What’s that about?”

Loki didn’t have words for quite some time. Sylvie watched his face flush, and his eyes water. However, no tears fell this time.

“She was always the one to comfort me when I was upset. No one else has tried since.” Loki spat his words out with more bitterness than he intended. Sylvie did not deserve to bear the resentment he’d carried for centuries.

And it damn well broke her heart…

All of a sudden, she rushed for him, throwing her arms around his waist and squeezing as tight as she could. She couldn’t find words. There were none to be had in this moment. All that mattered was how warm and firm his body was under her arms, and how equally firm his arms were when they came to rest on her shoulders. It took him a moment to wrap them around her, but she felt him melt against her when they did. Somehow, they didn’t need words. In this moment, the chaos of two hearts racing against one another was enough.

Loki sunk to his knees, taking her with him, holding her like she was going to fade away. Like she herself was an illusion he had unknowingly conjured to comfort his aching soul. She felt real though, as she clung to him, so he had to believe she was.

“I’ve been searching for you.” He finally spoke, his voice small and fragile.

“I know. I’ve been following you.” He snapped his head up at that, searching her face and smirking. Of course she was two steps ahead of him. She always had been. “I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I didn’t know what to say.”

Sylvie slowly removed her glove, running her bare hand along Loki’s face. She took note of the way the breath hitched in his throat, his eyes fluttering shut.

“How long has it been since someone held you like this?” Curiously, she removed her other glove, cupping his face in her hands and drawing her thumbs all over his soft skin. He was beautiful, and there had never been any question about it, but to see him like this, mouth open, eyes shut, it was otherworldly. His head rolled from side to side, unsure of which way to lean in order to maximize the feeling of her skin on his. His breaths had grown more shallow, and he was quietly panting against her as she held him. “Years? Centuries?”

“A bit of bo-” His words died on his tongue as she pressed her lips to his throat, her hands tangling in his hair. “Oh, don’t stop…” His words were almost a moan as she continued. It was just as bad for her. She had had several flings in the past, merely to keep herself going, but she had made it abundantly clear that nothing was ever real. Not until she met Loki…

Sylvie squeaked as she felt herself lifted and flipped over, a large weight suddenly on top of her. Her senses were scrambled by the feeling, the scent of citrus and spice, and a pair of warm lips suddenly devouring her own. Her mind was addled with the feel of him against her, and she lost all ability to perceive the world around her as she kissed him like her life depended on it.

Eventually, someone would stumble upon them, kissing in varied stages of undress. The story of an entangled couple who disappeared in a flash of green light was one that would echo through the town, sending search parties into that very woods for a short period of time until the next place they had been spotted cropped up on the internet. Chaos always suited them better, anyway...

#pro sylki #loki and sylvie #touch starved Loki #hug him please

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 years

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#4: There's totally character development, you guys! You just don't see it!

A common critique of Miraculous Ladybug is the lack of actual character growth and development in three seasons, a sentiment most of the fandom agrees with.

At the time of this post, Miraculous Ladybug has been through three seasons with 78 episodes, and nothing has really changed. Sure, by the third season, new villains were introduced, and the season finale shook up the status quo a little bit by exposing the identities of the temporary heroes as a result of Chloe's damnation arc that was obviously planned from the beginning, but despite one of the main plotlines being the relationship between the two, Marinette and Adrien are still at square one. She's still a stammering mess around him, he still doesn't get she has feelings for him, while Cat Noir still can't take a hint that Ladybug isn't into him.

Sure, you could make the argument that they're in relationships with other people now, but not even the show wants to acknowledge it, as a big part of the recent New York City special was about Marinette and Adrien's friends forcing the two to spend time together, even though Marinette said she was trying to move on from him. Even the synopsis for the fourth season says that Marinette still has feelings for Adrien, so now we're wasting even more time on this subplot that's starting to rival Ross and Rachel in terms of tediousness.

Honestly, a good representation of the writing process can easily be summarized like so:

youtube

But enough of my rant, what you're here for is what Astruc has said in response to this kind of criticism in this (now deleted) tweet.

Okay, first of all, who unironically uses the term “haterz” to describe someone who criticizes them? What is he, Taylor Swift?

Second, in order to properly analyze this tweet, I'm going to have to talk about Luka and Kagami first. They were introduced during the second season of Miraculous Ladybug to complicate the Love Square, sort of like Jackie and Tom during Star vs. the Forces of Evil. Their reception was... mixed, to say the least. Part of it had to do with how the show first portrayed them.

Now, I like both of these characters, as well as the ships associated with them, but I want to make things clear that this is based on fan interpretation of these characters. If you like Luka and Kagami, or the associated ships with them, that's fine. Same goes for the ships in the Love Square between Marinette and Adrien. While I will be criticizing the writing of the romantic subplots, I am not trying to start a ship war here. This is all about the way Astruc views the writing of Luka and Kagami. So let's please try to keep any comments here civil.

Luka first appeared in the episode “Captain Hardrock”, and was instantly infatuated with Marinette. Fans really didn't like the episode. In addition to the boring villain and horrible animation on display, some viewers simply found Luka to be a boring character. Don't get me wrong, there were still some fans who loved Luka in his first appearance, but for others, it took until his next appearance, “Frozer”, for them to warm up to Luka. The thing is that was because of how Adrien had been for some of the season.

See, mid-Season 2, people had started to question the way Adrien was being written. He had been much more assertive in his attempts to get Ladybug to fall for him, like setting up dates, offering flowers, and supporting the media shipping the two together, claiming they're “meant to be”.

This ties back into why people stated to like Luka more. Unlike Adrien, who was more intrusive of Ladybug's boundaries, Luka was much more calm and understanding of how conflicted Marinette was when she was caught between him and Adrien. By Season 3, a lot of fans found Adrien was only getting worse and basically abandoned ship (no pun intended) to start shipping Luka with Marinette.

While I believe there are some problems with the way Adrien is being written (which I will get into in a later entry), I don't think all hope is lost for the Love Square, as there are some generally cute moments between Marinette and Adrien, and there have been a lot of great fanfics featuring the two as a couple. So it's safe to say I don't think the Love Square is a lost cause.

At the same time, I can understand why people would start shipping Lukanette instead because of the way they viewed Adrien's behavior during Season 3. I also think they have some nice moments in the show, with one of the few good episodes in the garbage fire that is Season 3, “Silencer”, being all about Luka and Marinette growing closer.

Here's the thing. The way the fanbase perceived Luka? IT ISN'T CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

A big reason fans started to ship Lukanette because of how poorly the other romantic subplot with Adrien was going. Hell, people started to ship Marinette with Damian Wayne because of how much they hated Adrien. Some fans have also cited how Marinette looks much more comfortable around Luka compared to when she’s an anxious mess around Adrien, allowing for better interactions with the former.

And Astruc is acting like the fact that more people are shipping Lukanette like it's all part of his brilliant plan. It's hard to explain how ridiculous this sounds without starting a ship war across Tumblr, so let's move onto what he said about Kagami.

Kagami's first appearance in the episode “Riposte” didn't really give the audience a good idea of what she was like, as she was the Akuma of that episode. All we really knew about her was that she was a fencer, her mom was incredibly strict towards her, and she hit it off with Adrien. It didn't help that she didn't have another appearance for almost an entire year.

Her next appearance, “Frozer”, really didn't portray her in a positive light. Because Kagami had a crush on Adrien, she was a lot more cold to Marinette (even though they hadn't met before and when Adrien told her about her at the end of “Riposte”, she sounded eager to meet her) and basically told her to move her ass or Adrien was hers. Oh, you think I'm paraphrasing? That is literally what Astruc said when someone asked the meaning of that line.

Because all girls do is fight over cute boys, right? Such a good message for a “girl power” show.

Her next appearance in “Animaestro ”made her out to be the threat in the first half of the episode for the crime of hanging out with Adrien. This motivates Marinette to team up with Chloe of all people to embarrass Kagami in front of Adrien, and neither of them are ever called out for it. Yes, Marinette and Chloe both have a crush on Adrien, but the show is demonizing Kagami for daring to spend time with him when Adrien honestly looks much more comfortable around her compared to when Chloe or Lila (another character I'll talk about later) force themselves onto him.

So here's a fun fact: If you write a character as a threat to the protagonist in a completely irrational way, all while perpetuating the cliche stereotype of girls fighting over boys, people aren't going to like that character.

It wasn't until the episode “Ikari Gozen” that Kagami and Marinette finally became friends, and people actually warmed up to her because the show stopped trying to portray her as a romantic rival on the same level as Chloe and Lila.

So while you could call Kagami becoming friends with Marinette character development, it just comes right out of left field, I don't really think it was planned out. But even if, congratulations Astruc. You finally wrote some character development for two supporting characters. Now if only you could do it for your main characters too.

(Sorry if this isn’t my best work, I’ve been focusing on another entry that tackles an... interesting example of how poorly Astruc can respond to criticism.)

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kalle-and-lita · 3 years

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My half of the art trade with @tagedeszorns featuring their OC Doriel. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a joy it was to work with the mun and their muse!

Lita cast a furtive glance down the long halls of the palace. It was so quiet she could hear the beat of her heart thunder in her ears. Perhaps it was because she was leaving work so close to curfew. Only the foolish would dare to walk the empty streets lest they incur the wrath of the Night Haunter.

Maybe it was the fear of her mistress, whose rage was easily incited these days. Several members of the staff had already gone missing. Lita wasn't fool enough to believe they had just left.

Or perhaps, her nervousness was due to the large platter of food she clutched to. Taking food, even uneaten, was akin to stealing from the barons. If she was caught she'd be killed without a second thought.

But she was on a mission, and she would not be deterred. So Lita steeled her nerves and made her escape as quiet as she could. Every step was carefully planned, every corner scrutinized until she was sure she was safe and alone. She didn't breathe easy until she passed through the servants entrance and out onto the streets.

There was the faintest drizzle pouring from the sky. A cacophony of lights twinkled in the perpetual dark, reflecting off dirty glass windows and pools of stagnant water in the broken streets. Above the familiar hum of the city Lita noted the blessed silence. No screaming, no gunfire. Orderly silence since the whispers had begun.

Whispers of a silent stalker in the night. A savior to the weak who suffered beneath the heel of the barons and their crime lords. Night Haunter they called him, and his was a name revered with fear and awe. Rumors persisted of his speed, his ferocity. While she had not seen his handiwork for herself, Lita knew the tales of the flayed criminals he left out as warning. To take caution because if you caught his gaze there would be no one to save you from him.

Lita's reverie was broken by the sound of shoes scuffing cobblestone. Just like the nights before they came out of the shadows like pale little spirits. Four in total with the youngest looking no older than five or six. The oldest approached first, crossing the street once he was sure they were all alone. He was strange for a Nostromon; his hair was the color of a fire blazing away in the adamantium furnaces. Though he still possessed the pallid complexion and the hardened, steel black gaze of his kin.

"Hello," Lita smiled, "I'm glad you boys are safe. I brought the good stuff from the kitchen."

The redhead eyed her sharply, a frown etched into his features. The smaller shadows of his gang pressed at his back threateningly,

"Ah," Lita warned, waving a scolding finger at them, "Unless you want to go back to eating garbage and refuse I suggest you play nice."

"Fuck off." The redhead snapped over his shoulder. His mates backed off, though they still possessed a hungry look in their eyes. Sure that they weren't going to cause trouble, the young boy turned back to her, "What you want for it?"

"We have this conversation every time." She sighed, she popped the lid off one of the bowls of food. A hearty, and savoury aroma filled the air. If the boys looked hungry before they were absolutely ravenous now. "I don't want anything more than the satisfaction of you boys being well fed."

The redhead shot her a venomous glare, "I still say it's bullshit. Ain't nobody that nice."

"So you don't want the food then?" She teased, the younger kids hissed at their leader,

"Shut up, Doriel, before you ruin it!" One hissed. The young boy, Doriel, scowled right back,

"I ain't ruining shit! Look, bitch, just hand over the food and we'll get out of your hair."

Lita chuckled but pointedly ignored Doriel's rather colorful language. The large bowl of stew was all but yanked from her hands and she happily watched as the children ate. More than once the young redheaded boy thumped one of his mates on the shoulder, a silent admonishment for taking more than a fair share.

And they scampered off just as quick as they came with Doriel offering a cursory glance back at her. She nodded a farewell and tossed the now empty bowl, all too eager to navigate the eerie streets of the upper districts. Her feet pounded against hard stone as she ran, a desperate bid to get to the shops before curfew descended upon her.

Luck was not completely on her side tonight, however. Lita cringed as the shop door slammed shut behind her and locked tight. Lights flickered off, leaving her alone on the dark sidewalk. Her gaze flickered to the shadowy corners around her, their long tendrils closing in on her.

She didn't make it a habit to be out past curfew. A nervous tension settled in her belly as she set off for home. Her footsteps echoed loudly, bouncing off the high buildings ominously. Each passing minute was like agony, the eerie silence fraying at her nerves until there was a burning itch between her shoulder blades.

Lita tensed at the feeling.

She was no stranger to this sensation of being watched. Years of service to the barons, and even her years on the streets, had refined her sense of awareness. All the better to know when to run or hide.

But this was not the first night she felt the piercing gaze of the unknown stalker's eyes. For weeks she walked home with the proverbial dagger aimed at her back, ever nervous for an attack that had yet to come.

Lita turned a sharp corner in an effort to evade her stalker. A stupid idea to turn into the pitch black of the alleyway, but she knew it to be a shortcut home and she was desperate. Her heart thundered away in her ears even as her footsteps echoed on the walls. Save for the drizzling of the rain there was nary a sound above the hum of quiet.

Then, just behind her, she heard something hit the ground. If she hadn't been listening so keenly she wouldn't have heard it. Lita froze with a gasp, a chill ran down her spine and the burn in her shoulder blades grew hot. There was a presence at her back, she could feel its hot breath on her neck.

Against her better judgement she turned to look, oh so slowly spinning on her heels. She came face to face with a monstrously large Nostromon man, the pitch black of his eyes drawing her in. His thin strands of black hair stuck to his face, and fell over his shoulders as he sat nearly hunched over her. Lita blinked dumbly, mouth agape in terror.

All at once her sense of self preservation kicked in as a smile crossed his face. A set of wicked sharp teeth gleamed at her and the fear in her gut rose well past the point of control.

So Lita did what any normal person would do and panicked. And in her panic she did the very first thing that sprang to mind, and she threw her grocery bags at him. She didn't bother to stick around to see his reaction. She was far too interested in running as fast her poor legs could carry her.

And she didn't stop running until she was safely back in her apartment. The keys clattered to the floor and her back hit the door. Her lungs burned and her legs gave out, and Lita hit the ground with a hard thud while her mind tried to wrap around what just happened.

He'd been so quiet. That thought scared her more than she cared to admit. How was it possible that someone so large could be so silent?! And she was fairly certain that the only reason she'd known he was there was because he let her see him.

Just who was he? Why was he following her?

Cold realization hit her hard as she came down from her adrenal high. The whispered tales of the few who'd seen the Night Haunter and lived. Of the man draped in shadow and blood, larger than life who took no qualms in spilling the blood of the guilty.

"Oh gods," Lita's hands flew to her mouth, "Oh gods!"

And she had just hit him.

In the face.

With her grocery bags!

She sprang to her feet and ran to check her windows, futile as it seemed. If the Night Haunter wanted to get to her windows were not going to stop him. For the better part of an hour she paced the confines of her apartment, awaiting retribution despite her own perceived innocence. Fixated on the fact that she had thrown her food at the Night Haunter in blind panic.

Lita resented the fact that if she was going to die, she was going to do so hungry.

The burn eventually came back. Fear turned to trepidation as she paused at her living room window. The balcony was empty, wet with the rain. She took a few deep breaths before she opened the sliding glass door. Before she could second guess herself she leaned onto the railing and took another deep breath.

"I'm sorry!" She shouted into the night. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked. "I swear I didn't know it was you. I wouldn't have hit you if I had. I'm so sorry!"

A long moment of silence passed until she picked up the sound of something dragging on the roof behind her. She turned her gaze up to find the Night Haunter casually perched on the roof edge, black eyes boring right into her skull. She averted her gaze in embarrassment.

"I am so, so sorry." She repeated, "I wasn't expecting to be followed, and you appearing out of nowhere startled me, and I panicked..."

She was bumbling like an idiot, trapped between him and the railing. But his silence was making her nervous. Lita felt the hot flush warm her face.

Then, something hit the ground. Lita jumped then stooped over to find her grocery bag, albeit missing some of its contents but still intact. She looked up, still under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Uhhm," she stuttered, awkwardly collecting her bag and shuffling towards the door, "Thank you."

He blinked at her, expression neutral even as he watched her slip inside and close the door.

The itch in her shoulder blades didn't cease as she put away her groceries and started dinner. She tried to ignore it for the most part, though she couldn't help but wonder why he was sticking around. Surely there were more interesting things to do than watch her?

She found her way back to the balcony door eventually, after setting her stew to a simmer. The Night Haunter now perched on the railing so he could peer in. She slid open the door to poke her head out.

"Hi." Lita muttered, he blinked again and let the awkward silence stretch out, "Uh, I made food. Did you want some?"

No answer save for his endless staring. Lita swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped back,

"I'll, uh, leave the door open for you then."

She retreated back to the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand. The minutes passed as she slowly stirred the stew, lost in the rhythmic motions. That was until she felt a presence hunched over her shoulder. Lita dared not look up, instead she simply muttered under her breath,

"I think I need to get you a bell."

#art trade #warhammer 30k #konrad curze #lita #warhammer40k #night lord #Doriel #my writing #night haunter

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