#oh and yeah this crew is gay as all hell

[coolcattime]

On one hand, I don’t need to write any more AUs, but on the other hand… Mianite Cursed Pirate Crew AU. The basic concept of this AU is based on a TTRPG called Rapscallions which I haven’t played but I love the concept of.

Basic setup is just that the cast are all members of a pirate crew and each one is cursed in some way.

The Crew: Capsize, Tom, Jordan, Redbeard, and Sonja

Capsize is the captain of the crew, though she’s rarely seen off her ship making her co-captain more known to the general public. Once during a particularly bad attack, she called out to the sea goddess to save everyone’s lives. Her calls worked, Capsize became one with the sea, being able to turn the ocean itself against their enemies. However this connection came with a price, her being forbidden from stepping foot on land. Notably she will always insist that she is forbidden, not unable, to step foot on land. She has never said exactly what’ll happen if she goes against this rule, just that the goddess wants to keep her close and she isn’t going to go against a goddess.

Tom is Capsize’s co-captain, a position which everyone else on the ship is definitely very happy about. He got himself cursed when dealing the final blow to a leviathan, an encounter that technically killed him. In his dying moments he swallowed leviathan blood, which revived him with a couple of consequences. Notably, he looks slightly off with no light in his eyes and an odd green tint to his skin. However, he also gained powers, though he’s still figuring out exactly how to use them, with one of the few he’s sure of is his new found ability to communicate with the giant sea beasts that once caused his death. 

Jordan would very much insist that he isn’t cursed, seeing that his actual abilities aren’t the things giving him trouble. However the others note that being touched by the gods in a way that gives him no special powers, but has inspired multiple groups to try and track him to to fulfil his apparent “terrible destiny” counts as a curse as they’re fighting to stop him from getting kidnapped or captured seemingly every other week. Despite his insistence that he isn’t cursed, he always gets quiet when asked when his apparent destiny is, not wanting to reveal what he is apparently destined for, especially not when he’s finally figured out who “the rival” and “the love interest” described in the terrible tale are supposed to be.

Redbeard, much like Tom, got cursed during a fight, but not one that killed him. During a raid on a cargo ship, a strange creature was unleashed on them, managing to claw and bite him before they took it down. This very quickly proved to have consequences as the body of the creature is identified as a lycanthrope and they realise what Redbeard being bitten by it means. They manage full moons as best as they can, making use of the brig and any magical locks they can get ahold of. They haven’t had any incidents thus far, but Redbeard still fears what will happen if he ever gets loose.

Sonja was the only to get cursed before joining the crew and she is the newest member of said crew. She was a researcher of many different kinds of magic and legends, though she tried to keep her activities on the down low due to attitudes of the town guard towards magically powerful people. However, one night while lost in her studies, she discovered  a creature claiming to be a djinni locked within one of the books she was studying. Not quite understanding what she was dealing with, she made a wish releasing the creature and binding herself to her journal. Now she has powers, the ability to gain knowledge just from writing questions in her journal as well as the odd power to bend luck, but she also cannot roam far from her journal and if anyone but her gets ahold of it, she has no choice but to do as they say.

She found the crew after writing in her question asking for somewhere safe to flee, knowing that if anyone in the town caught wind of what had happened she’d never have freedom again. They took her in without question (they can’t exactly turn down more hands on deck), though her sudden departure was noticed by a friend, who isn’t sure what to make of the news that she apparently was taken by a pirate crew.

#mianite #mianite cursed crew #i have loose ideas for other characters namely tucker being sonja's friend trying to track them down #and rupert the grey being a ghost processing the ship #but i didn't have full ideas for them so i didn't write them #captain capsize #tom syndicate #jordan captainsparklez #skipper redbeard #sonja firefox #oh and yeah this crew is gay as all hell

[harmonictechnicality]

model!steve and voice actor!eddie

part 2 here | ao3 link here

Eddie chose a career in voice acting to avoid shit like this.

Forced socializing. Schmoozing with hotshot directors who are used to everyone kissing their ass until their lips bleed. And Eddie doesn’t do that shit. 

… Okay yeah sure, Eddie kisses asses. But only in the literal, consensual kind of way. Usually after a few mediocre dinner dates, at least.

But this particular fuckhole of a director is insisting that Eddie attends the production shoot of the commercial that he’ll be narrating for. Which is weird - that’s not how this process typically goes. Eddie gets the script and records it in his studio. Easy peasy.

“I do things a little differently with my projects.” The director sneers into the phone’s speaker. Eddie silently gags at the oozing amounts of ego on this guy. “I want to immerse you into my vision.”

Ew. Eddie would rather immerse himself into a nap, but whatever. A job is a job.

“Understood.” Eddie agrees with minimal teeth-clenching. “I’ll be on set shortly.”

The phone clicks dead with nothing but a chuckle from the guy. No ‘goodbye,’ no ‘thank you.’ Rude… but that’s kind of an industry standard, so why did Eddie expect anything different?

He folds the script into his back pocket, throws on a shirt that screams ‘Los Angeles disaster gay,’ and makes his way to the studio lot.

Fucking yay. 

Upon arrival, the director immediately escorts Eddie into the green room. Rambles on about needing him to meet the lead model for this commercial.

“Isn’t he just posing with the product?” Eddie lets his snarkiness run loose with that question, knows it right away.

Luckily, the guy is too busy snapping at a crew member to notice. “You’ll be voicing his character’s inner narrations.”

“Right.”

“And I want your tone to be seamless with the energy that he’s giving in this shoot. Got it?”

“Loud and clear.” Mostly loud.

The director swings open the door and reveals maybe the most cosmically beautiful person that Eddie has ever seen.

“Eddie, this is Steve.” The director says. “Steve, this is Eddie.”

Models are beautiful people, that’s the goddamn gig. Makeup, no makeup. Photoshop, no photoshop. They just look better than the general population and society accepts that as a fact.

But Eddie is a grubby little voice actor that burrows himself up in his boxy apartment for days. Very little sunlight, very little human interaction, and a shit ton of takeout.

Long story short, he doesn’t get out much. So this? Seeing a biblically hot heartthrob in the flesh? With his own two eyes? It’s knocking him into deep space. Sending him into an astral projection without sticking a tablet on his tongue first.

“Nice to meet you, man.” Steve holds out his hand while someone brushes more powder onto his shiny, glowy skin. God, that’s the best damn skin Eddie has ever seen. Powder be damned, Steve doesn’t need it’s chalky finish.

Eddie shakes himself out of this spell, takes Steve’s hand like he’s somehow worthy of touching him. “Yeah, you too.”

Lame. So lame. On a scale of one to Star Wars prequels, his response is the CGI in Attack of the Clones. ‘Yeah, you too?’ Ugh, what a dumbass.

The director tells them to get acquainted and to be on set in ten minutes. Ten minutes. Eddie has to be convincingly normal for ten whole minutes. Pfft, that’s laughable, but he’ll give it a shot.

“That guy’s a total asshat.” Steve grumbles.

Oh. Eddie could smother him in kisses for saying that. Lick Steve clean of all that stupid powder and probably die of talc poisoning. Death By Licking a Model is one hell of a way to go.

“Yeah.” Find some new words, Munson. “Major asshat. But he happens to be paying my bills this month, so technically, he’s my favorite major asshat.”

“Oh, same.” Steve laughs. It’s fucking glorious too. Eddie kind of wishes he had brought his microphone so that he could capture such a wonderful sound with high quality recording software. Is that creepy? Maybe he should dial it back. 

... As if. This guy’s hair is sculpted with effortless perfection and his shoulder blades could slice through a French baguette. No way Eddie can dial it back or keep it together.

“So you’re doing the voice work on the commercial, right?” Steve asks.

‘Yup.” Eddie shoves both hands into his pockets. “Indeed I am.” 

Okay, that was borderline Yoda. Get a grip.

Steve seems unfazed though. “That’s cool. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with.”

“Thanks.” Eddie smiles warmly. Nerves mellowing out. “And I can’t wait to see you in action out there.”

“Hope I can give you some good inspiration.” And Steve winks, legit winks at Eddie. Does it like it’s normal too, like he winks at everybody. He probably winks at nuns just to see if he can get them to consider conversion.

Eddie is so hopeless. Fucking tragic at this point.

They walk into the studio and are greeted by a somber, archaic set design. There’s a massive throne in the middle that is draped with fur. 

It’s… tacky. That’s the nicest adjective Eddie has to describe it. Tacky bullshit.

“I thought this was for a cologne ad.” Eddie says, eyeing the snowy backdrop.

Steve nods. “It is.”

“So what’s with the secondhand Game of Thrones set?”

“Mr. Asshat thinks this is his cinematic debut.”

Eddie snorts. Loves that he already has inside jokes with this beautiful, beautiful creature. “Someone should tell Mr. Asshat that this is visual plagiarism.”

“Nah.” Steve runs his hand over the tacky fur piece. Smirks to himself as he speaks. “I say we let him suffer.”

Eddie’s legs wobble. “Damn, you’re hot.”

He sounds ridiculously uncool, so breathy and gone. But Steve shrugs in a non-pitying kind of way, so maybe Eddie's uncoolness is excused. Or expected.

While the camera and lighting crew finalize their positions, Steve takes off his robe, revealing his costume.

Torn, muddied pants. Ripped and clawed to shreds. A billowy white top that’s completely unbuttoned. Un-laced? Eddie’s not entirely sure about the mechanics - just knows that Steve’s chest is out, that’s all he can focus on.

There’s a dented crown that the stylist places next to the throne, right at Steve’s feet. It’s shimmery yet tarnished, catches the light in a kaleidoscope effect.

The product is called The Fallen King, so deductive reasoning tells Eddie that Steve is meant to be the physical embodiment of this scent. He recalls something in the script about his title being slandered by promiscuity and forbidden love. Apparently they’ve bottled up that smell into a cologne. 

Do people really want to smell like a dethroned monarch? That’s a thing? Huh.

Just to make the sexual torture even more unbearable, Eddie gets to spectate alongside Mr. Asshat himself. Which also means that Eddie almost has a center view of Steve’s performance.

Cause that’s exactly what he’s giving. A performance. A full display production of his body, his face. His whole godlike essence. 

It’s unfair how fucked Eddie is from watching Steve pose. He can hold the oddest positions without budging a single tendon. So still. Durable. Strong.

Every last thought in Eddie’s head is impure from that observation. He wants to wrap his fingers around Steve’s muscles until he finally moves, twitches. Eddie wants to watch as Steve’s pretty lips part, falling open with sighs. See how long it takes for those sighs to turn into moans.

Steve slumps back into the throne, legs spread obscenely far apart. His gaze droops low and dark, practically eye-fucking the camera. It’s crazy how jealous Eddie is of that stupid inanimate object. The things he would do to get eye-fucked by that golden sex god up there…

His internal porno gets interrupted by a new pose. A wicked one. Steve is on his knees now, looking up into the camera lens. He sinks into the dreamiest expression. Looks dazed, all spaced-out and helpless. Eddie kneads at the growing heat in his pants with the heel of his palm. Hopes it’s not fucking obvious that he’s so horned up right now.

The director clears his throat and yells over the camera’s constant shuttering. “Can you tilt your head back, Steve?”

And Steve does. So obedient, so exceptional at his job. His head rolls back on his neck, shoulders sagging with the shift of weight.

Eddie is chewing the inside of his cheek, nearly ready to take the horny loss and go jack off in his car. Steve is in the most ideal position now, totally vulnerable. Eddie could fuck him so good like that, let Steve melt into his touch. He’d treat him like treasure, spoil him with dick and praise. Eddie would catch him if his legs give out. Would lick Steve’s kiss-bitten lips until the swelling goes down.

God, Eddie is so sick in the head for conjuring up x-rated scenes like this. In public, surrounded by strangers. Literally on the clock. He seriously needs to get his head checked for having such a whorish imagination.

The shoot ends shortly after that last pose, the one that rocked Eddie’s world. He closes his eyes for a minute, takes a few deep breaths. Tries to inhale some goddamn decency.

“How was it?” Steve heads his way, snaking his arms back into the bathrobe.

Eddie blinks hard. “It was… you were…” And the words stop. Nothing else comes out, his throat is strangled and bare.

Steve gives a soft laugh, nudges Eddie’s arm with his elbow. “Guess you do better when there’s a script in front of you, huh?”

Oh. So he’s pretty and darkly playful? This is too good, too delicious.

Eddie wets his bottom lip, recovers quickly. “I do better when there’s not an earthbound angel in my presence.”

“Wow.” Steve raises both eyebrows. “That’s quite the compliment.”

“Oh come on - you must get compliments all the time.”

“Not like that one though.”

“No?”

Steve takes a step into Eddie’s space. “Definitely not.”

They just stare after that - mostly because it’s Eddie’s turn to speak but words are so secondary when there’s this much beauty to behold. Gazing becomes his top priority.

And before the conversation can lead to an exchange of last names or phone numbers, Steve is rushed off by his agent. Maybe his publicist. Maybe his mom, Eddie has no fucking clue. Just someone taking away his shiny new toy. He sort of feels like reenacting that scene in Cast Away when the volleyball drifts into the ocean. Be dramatic as all hell about this ending.

Eddie doesn’t actually jack off in his car, although he really wants to. No, he decides to use all of his adrenaline and pent-up hormones for the voice recording. It gives his vocals this strained, chesty sound. Sinful and corrupt. Cracking with emotion in certain spots, spiking the volume in all the right ways.

It might be too much, a little bit too suggestive for a lousy cologne advertisement.

But as he listens back, Eddie can’t help but picture Steve. Imagining snapshots of him from every angle, especially the unspeakable ones. The recording barely sounds like a script anymore. It almost sounds like Eddie whispering the lines directly into Steve’s ear. A dirty secret between them.

This is it, he thinks. Sends the audio file to his sound mixer without a second read-through, without a retake. This might be the best voiceover Eddie Munson has ever done.

#steddie #steddie fic #this is inspired by the unhinged ao3 tag generator #so there will be two more parts - fairly short like this one #not sure if I should put this on ao3... we shall see #anyways thanks for listening xx

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

I’ve returned from my sketchbook quest , and here’s a drawing for dauntless-daffodil , who came up with the idea for the spear baby au.

THEM HAS COOKIE!!! ;A; <3 <3 <3 <3 SMOL WITH COOKIE!!!

AWWWWWW~

oh gods looking at that cute little innocent face i can just FEEEEEEL baby spear watching as chaggie and the hotel all stand around them hotly debating What Food Is Even Healthy For A Baby Spear Spawn Child To Be Eating

Charlie: "A cookie??"

Angel Dust: "They don' need cookies, ya useless gays, they need milk!"

Charlie: "We had cookies in the hotel??"

Vaggie: "Why would they need milk? They've got teeth already! Fangs, even!"

Angel Dust: "That ain't how nutrition an' shit WORKS toots!"

Niffty: (shakes jar full of money) "SWEAR JAR!"

Angel Dust: "Fuck. Shit." (hands over three dollars)

Charlie: "Since when are there cookies in the hotel that I don't know know about???"

Cherri: "If they've got fangs and like chewing stuff, maybe they need meat or something?"

Niffty: "OR BLOOD!!!"

Vaggie: "We are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Ain't no baby under my watch gettin' fed steaks and BLOOD!"

Charlie: "Where did the cookie even COME from?!"

Husk: (coughs)

Charlie: "Husk! You gave them-?"

Husk: "....bar's always got snacks. And they were just. Staring at me."

Angel Dust: "Husky noooooo....!"

Vaggie: "How? I did a double sweep for undeclared cookies just two days ago- you KNOW what Charlie does to your bar if she goes snack hunting in the middle of night and actually finds something. She's like an adorable cookie gremlin."

Charlie: "Heheh!"

Husk: "Yeah well, she's not the only one allowed to like f- fffffffudging cookies. And your kid seems to take after her, so whatever."

Angel Dust: "Baby cat, that's no reason ta- oh for cryin' out loud, now what Vaggot?"

Vaggie: "...what? I didn't say anything."

Charlie: "Vaggieee, you're smiling~"

Vaggie: "Huh?"

Husk: "Like a dumb... dumb."

Niffty: "Beaming! Grinning! AS WIDE AS A SLIT THROAT-"

Cherri: "-fuck fuck fuck, shit shit, damn crap hell- here, take my money and don't fucking talk like THAT in front of the kid either, what the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Sickening."

Niffty: "Thanks!"

Angel Dust: "I meant Darth Vaggie getting all googey eye'd over her an' Charlie chip having a kid."

Charlie: "Oh so you think they're my kid too, huh?"

Angel Dust: "Are ya gonna let Vaggie raise 'em without ya?"

Charlie: "No~pe~!!!"

Angel Dust: "Then congrats on parenthood ta both of ya, it's already going to hell."

Vaggie: "Okay, uh-"

Husk: "You're gonna fffffeathering cry again."

Vaggie: "-no I'm not, I'm just glad the... my kid isn't still crying. Our kid. They, really are pretty happy with the cookie aren't they?"

Charlie: "Of course they are! It's CHOCOLATE CHIP!!"

Angel Dust: "It's not. Baby food."

Charlie: "It is if it's my baby, and they get milk to go with the cookie!"

Angel Dust: "V-gal, stop her! Use ya dang mom veto!!"

Vaggie: "Eh. Charlie was a hellborn kid and she grew up fine. I trust her."

Charlie: "AWww!!!"

Angel Dust: "Unbelievable."

Husk: "Whipped."

Vaggie: "Yeah? My kid didn't even have to say anything to get a cookie out of you, fluff boy."

Cherri: "Uh, guys.... gays...?"

Husk: "What."

Charlie & Vaggie: "What?"

Angel Dust: "Both and speaking, baby."

Cherri: "Where did..... the baby go...?"

Hotel crew: "....."

Place where baby was: (empty except for crumbs)

Spear Baby: (gone)

Vaggie: (wings bristling) "The-"

Charlie: "OUR!"

Vaggie: "Our-"

Demon Charlie: "-BABY!?"

Niffty: "MOTHER OF FUCK." (throws down swear jar) (tries throwing herself onto the broken shards but angel dust and husk grab her)

-meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel-

Alastor: (walking quickly)

Spear Baby: (crawling after him)

Alastor: "....shoo."

Spear Baby: "Guh!"

Alastor: (nervous sweating) (walks FASTER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #chaggie spear baby au thing #incorrect quotes #silly stuff #Alastor: here. this is yours i presume #charlie: oh thank f- ALASTOR! WHY IS MY KID HANGING OFF YOUR MICROPHONE BY THEIR TEETH??? THEY'RE NOT A F- FIDLING FISH!! #vaggie: ...are you scared of our kid? #alastor: wha-ha-ha-hy! What a marvelously strange suggestion! Don be absurd~! #vaggie: (holds kid out at them) #spear baby: (starts crying) #alastor: (static hiss) (summons husk in front of him as a living shield) #charlie: vaggie /no/. don't weaponize our child please #vaggie: (giving her the kid) (Grinning) aw babe it was only just a LITTLE bit of weaponizing them... #alastor: for the record- I was NOT scared ha HA! #husk: then why the f- fandangle am /i/ here? #alastor: (tight-lipped smile) (banishes him) #vaggie: (SMIRKS)

[weirdmageddon]

yesterday i wrote a scene where jade wasnt a plot device and was left the hell alone in A6A5 because this being dave and jade’s last proper conversation in years made me sad and i wanted to see them reunite properly. i mixed a bit of narration in too even though it was rare around this point in the comic but its just to paint a better picture. also i wouldnt mind feedback on character voice (it’s important to me that the dialogue sounds believable)

[3 years are over, everyone is in the new session. The prospit ship is on LOMAX, as is everyone who arrived on the meteor, safely warped by Jade onto LOMAX as well. Jade has banished B2 Jack to the Furthest Ring already. She hasn't seen her friends in 3 years, not to mention she never met the trolls in person yet.]

[Jade teleports to LOMAX where John was talking with the meteor crew. Her eyes widen when she sees the trolls, giving everyone a greeting. Jade waves to the trolls.]

You’ll have time to catch up with them later. First you want to reconvene with Rose and Dave.

> ==>

Dave... Oh my god! DAVE!!! That’s right! The last time you saw him, he died in your arms after Jack redirected the bullets from your gun into his body!

JADE: dave!!!! DAVE: hey DAVE: this has been three years coming hasnt it DAVE: cmere

> ==>

[Dave hugs Jade with a slight grin on face. He notices her… sniffing him?? but doesn’t even bother to question it.]

JADE: it is so nice to hold your body when its not a corpse :) DAVE: ok DAVE: weird thing to say DAVE: actually who am i kidding who gives a shit DAVE: i almost forgot how much i missed the enigmatic riddlefuckery that is your phrasing DAVE: fortunately i have context for this so i know what youre saying DAVE: humor me for a sec and imagine that i didnt DAVE: but first DAVE: are those dog ears JADE: yes! i am part dog now JADE: because i prototyped my dreamself with becsprite JADE: jadesprite became part of me! and so did her doggy traits from bec DAVE: got it DAVE: oh yeah john mentioned that on the back of his dumb poster inside that bucket that appeared out of thin air DAVE: right before we had to haul ass out of there before jack caught up to us DAVE: karkat had a complete fucking meltdown over that btw i wish you couldve seen it DAVE: damn it feels like so long ago now JADE: heheheh i remember JADE: john realized it at the last second but it was too late! DAVE: of course it was johns idea only he could do something that gooberish DAVE: you know what this means though JADE: yup!! woof woof DAVE: it means youve done it harley DAVE: youve finally done it god damn it DAVE: the evolution of humankind is finally upon us DAVE: the scientists said it would never happen in our lifetime DAVE: but look what we have here DAVE: before me stands mans first legitimate furry subspecies DAVE: homo canis DAVE: as the name implies theyre gay as fuck btw DAVE: its too bad all those scientists are dead and cant witness this phylogenetic breakthrough DAVE: rip to the science community yall wouldve lost your collective shit DAVE: hey jade lets pour one out for the science community for being real ones

> ==>

You are still nestled into Dave’s shoulder. He’s taken a sort of protective position over you. Your perceptive barkbeast ears can hear his formerly bullet-riddled heart beating a mile a minute with the regularity of quartz beneath his time-branded pajamas, all the while he continues to ramble to you about certifiably dumb shit. You can tell Dave is psyched to see you again, even if he expresses it in his OWN bizarre way, which means extended metaphors and topical tangents. What a hypocrite, calling YOUR phrasing perplexing! You sure missed this guy.

You realize you started tuning him out while thinking about all this.

DAVE: jade JADE: umm homo is the species name JADE: so wouldnt that mean were all gay? :p DAVE: yeah that sounds about right DAVE: anyway enough of this bullshit

> ==>

[Dave motions to retract his arms since he doesn’t want it to get too weird, but Jade squeezes tighter. Dave immediately yields to the movement]

DAVE: jesus wow ok DAVE: really happy to see you too DAVE: like if you had a tail it would be wagging so forcefully youd be knocking over all the fucking furnishings in the room DAVE: just slapping it so hard on the owners thigh that it feels like theyre being flogged DAVE: talk about getting bitch slapped JADE: :D DAVE: so howve you been JADE: really really excited to see you guys all again!!! JADE: and to meet the trolls! DAVE: yeah theyre pretty weird DAVE: and im still not used to it DAVE: but it gets more manageable the longer youre around them DAVE: by the way JADE: ?

> ==>

DAVE: sorry you had to go through that JADE: through what? DAVE: seeing me die and stuff again DAVE: except that time right in front of you JADE: .... DAVE: when we were gathering up all those frogs i knew jack was going to appear DAVE: i was waiting and waiting to play it out DAVE: mentally rehearsing my fucking torso getting turned into swiss cheese and knowing you would have to watch on top of it DAVE: i had to make sure it happened to protect the integrity of the alpha timeline DAVE: but if you knew this was going to happen you wouldve tried to prevent it and created a doomed one DAVE: and so i didnt say anything DAVE: i couldnt DAVE: so DAVE: sorry for putting you through that JADE: oh..... JADE: dave D: JADE: well im here JADE: if you ever want to talk about it DAVE: its cool DAVE: you just deserve to know what happened there DAVE: but thanks DAVE: so am i JADE: yeah i know JADE: i guess i should be glad you did that then... JADE: even though i was freaking out when it happened ._. JADE: otherwise you wouldnt be here will us now dressed in your red god tier time pajamas DAVE: yeah these magical rags really are comfortable arent they DAVE: and they stay like perma clean JADE: they are! i would wear mine over and over for days on end JADE: id take a nice shower and put it right back on JADE: and you know how much i love cycling my outfits through my wardrobifier JADE: by the way dave your cape is sooo cool! :o DAVE: thanks DAVE: yeah i love it its hella soft DAVE: its like ive got a portable snuggle blanket with me in case i ever need to drop to the floor like a tired sack of shit and get my snooze on DAVE: ive got a permanent personal reservation at club bed featuring dj pillow and mc blanky JADE: heheheh JADE: can i touch your cape? DAVE: of course go nuts JADE: yaaaay!!

#hs #homestuck #davejade #dave strider #jade harley #my hs dialogues

[harleyification]

Can I talk about Avatar for a second?? Lemme talk about ATLA/ALoK for a second.

Like, so, I have many, many...many....grievances and hangups about A:LoK. I have tried to watch it twice, and while the first season is okay, the second season made me so mad that I dropped it. Twice. I have not watched the third season or got to see Gays In Action in 4k, because I was that disappointed.

I remember a hell of a lot about ATLA...but I can barely remember anything about Korra. That’s mostly due to my disappointment, but the fact remains that I barely remember the show, after watching it twice, and it’s the latest installment. That being said, I remember one thing that stuck out to me most....

Vaatu.

I am so, SO disappointed that they really just!! Made up this AMAZING concept of an Avatar counter-spirit, and they were just like!! “Oh yeah, his concepts are chaos and darkness, he’s EVIL, dudes.”

The one thing in the world that could possibly rival one as strong as the Avatar, would have been Another Avatar. They could’ve done something amazing with that!! They could finally have a balancing act!! A great leadup to this bigger enemy, with a twist at the end - like how ATLA did it with Ozai, with Aang refusing to kill him and instead taking away his bending!! The outcome wasn’t expected, but it still led to the same ending, with a better meaning behind it because it didn’t force Aang outside of his boundaries!! But...LoK didn’t have that. It was “Here’s this sketchy guy, we all Know he’s sketchy, but LOOK, THE TWIST IS THAT HE’S SKETCHY!! BUT ON A MORE EXTREME LEVEL!! Haha!!”

The only thing that LoK managed to twist was the lore of the world, by expanding on the Avatar, how it came to be, and by introducing a spirit of EQUAL POWER to the Avatar. I love Wan’s and Raava’s story, that isn’t my problem with this twist. My problem lies in the fact that Vaatu was merely made to be the Evil Avatar Spirit, in a world where balance and equality mean everything. I think Vaatu being the spirit of Chaos and Darkness would’ve been so cool to explore, if the creators had time to explore him - because Chaos and Darkness aren’t evil, they’re nature. What is morality anyway to a spirit?? Why make an Evil Spirit?? Why not explore WHY Vaatu is the way he is rather than say he just is??

Does that mean that Tui and La are merely good and evil, then?? They’re supposed to represent Yin and Yang, quite literally. Is Tui, the moon, evil simply because they can only thrive in the darkness?? Is La evil, because the sea is unrestrained and takes innocent lives, being a chaotic force?? Shouldn’t Tui and La be CLOSE, or at least GRATEFUL to Vaatu for giving them the darkness they need to remain balanced?? I don’t know too much else about the spirit gods in Avatar, so idk if there’s a Spirit of the Night, but my point still stands - the moon can’t prosper without darkness, and the ocean needs the moon. How can that be constrained to an idea as simple as “evil”??

Was La in the wrong or the in the right for destroying those fire nation ships, for taking control of Aang, for taking Zuko’s crew away from him after their other half died??

I just think that the world of ATLA/ALoK would have been so much better if Vaatu wasn’t just...Evil Bad Guy Spirit. The balancing act would’ve been restored if there are two Avatars (and Raava should be seen as something that can become Too Much - too much light, too much serenity/complacency, too much order means that there’s no room for self-identity, chance, risk, and the ability to look inward. If Raava can go too far, but be held back by their Avatar, then why can’t the same be held for Vaatu??). For a world that says that balance and equality is the true guide to peace, it seems really, really desperate to keep only one Avatar.

Vaatu would have been an excellent twist, if he just wasn’t so one-sided, and if it was anyone else but goddamn Unalaq.

That being said, I think Tui, La, and Vaatu (and maybe Wan Shi Tong, that giant Owl bitch) would’ve been/should be Ride or Die.

#Vaatu #Avatar #avatar: the legend of korra #avatar: the last airbender #Vaatu Headcanons #Lamenting the fact that I dislike ALoK despite trying so hard to love it #FUCK THE MCU AND TONY STARK THIS IS NOW A MULTIFANDOM ACCOUNT #No shame in having 20+ fixations!! #This is mainly me complaining about the writing choices used for Korra but also #This is me pointing the potential in Vaatu #BITCH GIVEN THE CHANCE I WOULD BE A DARK AVATAR #MY EYES WOULD GLOW RED!!! THATS SICK AS FUCK!! #ATLA #ALoK #I read Avatar fics for 3 days straight and YES it was mainly Zukka

[chungledown-bimothy]

Top 5 Ally PCs?

oh hell yeah let's fuckin go

1- pete conlan my best friend. he's such a disaster but is trying his best. fant-asma knuckle tattoos. wild magic sorcerer. he's never done anything wrong in his entire life, actually.

2- margaret encino. she's such a disaster but is trying her best. society if her INSANE call to the guards play in battle of the brands had worked. diet boston cream pie yogurt. found out the best friend she's definitely not in love with is engaged, so she became the sugar mommy for a hot dog-shaped space ship and its crew of people who are as fucked up as she is.

3- liam wilhelmina. he's such a disaster but is trying his best. seed guy. his best friend is a pig. he's peppermint batman, and before that his body "was like a walking apology". he must have known preston was almost certainly going to die with lapin, but he sent him any way just in case. he was the first to say slammed down big-style. aroace king.

4- kristen applebees. she's such a disaster but is trying her best. okay look. i'm exmo and gay i Understand Her. if i roll a nat 20 can i be alive. of course a 14 is good enough to ribbon dance to the ground safely. worst inspiring speeches of all time. created a buzzfeed god. raised worshipping a sun god and then started dating a werewolf cleric with a moon goddess. 1d4 gay spit damage.

5- timothy goose. he's less of a disaster but definitely doesn't have his shit all the way together and is trying his best. old man who just wants to save his son and go back to his husband, but gets roped into babysitting... them *gestures vaguely to the rest of destiny's children*. he's the gander.

#dimension 20 #ally beardsley #pete conlan #margaret encino #liam wilhelmina #kristen applebees #timothy goose

[shesalewa]

Wanna know what type of comedy happens in my fanfic of Dad Gun?

Incorrect quotes

1.

Gun: sometimes I wonder how the hell I ended up here.

Daniel: ACHOO!

Gun: bless you DanDan.

Daniel: thanks dad.

2.

Gun: mind if I get excited for a little bit? Have any of you seen a grown man smile? *Smiles very creepily*

Everyone but goo and Daniel: *visibility shocked and sacred*

Gun: every time I show emotions, it disturbs a lot of you.

3.

Eli: which one of you was gonna tell me that Tea tastes different if you put it into hot water?

Olly: you're putting it in... COLD WATER?!

Jake: ELI. ANSWER THE QUESTION ELI.

Eli: yeah? I thought for like 5 years that people just put it into hot water to speed up the TEA-IFFICATION process, didn't realize there was an actual reason.

Olly: YOU DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO BOIL WATER IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 3 MINUTES!?

Johan: WHY. ARE YOU. BOILING IT. IN THE MICROWAVE.

Olly: DO YOU THINK I HAVE THE PATIENCE TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON A STOVE!?

Johan: it. takes. LESS. THAN A MINUTE.

Olly: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVETOP POWERED UP BY THE F-CKING SUN?!

Johan: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON A STOVE!?

Olly: LIKE 7 MINUTES!

Samuel: JUST STICK THE MUG ON TOP OF THE STOVE ON MEDIUM HEAT. AND IT BOILS IN LIKE 2 MINUTES, LESS THAN THAT AND YOU USE A SAUCE PAN!

Daniel: *laughing at the drama, somehow he knows how to make tea* YOU'RE PUTTING THE WHOLE MUG ON THE STOVE?! ON MEDIUM HEAT?! ... Your stove is enchanted!

Goo: every single person in this room is a f-cking lunatic.

Gun: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A F-CKING KETTLE?! (Gun an expert Japanese man who loves tea more thsn himself, legit KNOWS how to make tea)

4.

Gun: ... How the hell did I get here.

*the four major crew legit Reeking chaos in his f-cking household*

Daniel: ... I THINK I'm the cause of all this.

5.

Goo: I'm sometimes asked how I'm associated with Gun so often. To the point I just pull out a Marriage certificate, and shut them the hell up.

Olly: hold that sh-t up, you're married to Gun...?

Goo: see what I mean?

6.

Jake: someone told me not to piss off Daniel. What's he gonna do with his short a— kick me in the knee?

Jake: HEY DANNY!

Daniel: oh hey Seonbae what's up-

Jake: *legit pushes Daniel*

Daniel: ...

...

Eli: I'm back- whoa. What the actual f-ck happened here.

Johan: Daniel is beating up Jake, and is kicking his knee and breaking his ankles.

Samuel: what? Why?

Johan: Jake thought Daniel couldn't do sh-t because of Daniel's height.

Olly: Gun would be proud.

7.

Daniel: GUY'S A BOMB IS ON THE TRAIN!

Goo/Jake: OBAMA'S ON THE TRAIN?!

Daniel: NO A BOMB!

Goo: oh good I f-cking hate Obama but I'm not racist or anything.

Jake: I am(joke)

8.

Zack: I'll fight off bad guys and earn money from it! Then I'll become FILTHY RICH HAHAHAH-

Daniel:(you know... It's kind of sad how I'm living most of his life for him...)

9.

Jace: so what's this game about?

Vasco: is about an assistant detective who works as a Gumshoe to help Zack Lee solve a case.

Eli: why Zack Lee?

Vasco: I do not know.

Jace & Daniel: (so it's a fantasy game)

10.

Gun: IM BRINGING. YOU WITH ME. TO GO OUT. SHOPPING. FOR FOOD. *Olly is in trouble but we don't know what trouble*

Olly: I'm not hungry anymore! I have Cupcakes hidden under my bed!*Olly sleeps on the floor in Gun's house, on the floor with Samuel, so where the hell is he hiding his cupcakes.*

11.

Daniel: ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS!

Olly: IF SHE BREATHES. SHE THOOOOOOO-

12.

Jay: ...(in every family there's the older brother, who has problems but won't talk about it.)

Kitae: hi...!

Jay: ... (The girl who's desperate for a boyfriend)

Joy: HELLO!!! HI!!!

Jay: ... (And the gay Mysterious awkward socially isolated member of the family)

Jay: ... (Oh wait that's me.)

13.

Eugene: STOP LEACHING OFF MY MONEY!

Beakgyeol: (you were broke until I came...)

14.

Samuel: ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU CAN BE ANNOYING SOMETIMES!!! sigh... I'll be in the dinning room.

Jake: WAIT!

Daniel: (there they go again...)

Johan: I think they broke up... *Whispering*

15.

Gun: which is fine because you're a thief anyways, first peoples limbs and now a stupid video game.

Dg: ...!?

16.

Random woman working as a hotel register: here you go sir. When you leave please return this back to me.

*room number 96*

Johan: huh. It's almost my favorite number.

17.

Goo: so do you have anything?

Jake: if I had I wouldn't be the one calling you! So sadly I legit have no clue on how to help take down the 1st affiliate.

Goo: no. You must have something.

Jake: haah...??????

Goo: and you're taking it to me. *Has a voice recorder out,*

Jake: what are you saying-

"WHAT THE HELL DO YA THINK YA DOING TO MY SAMUEL!"

Jake: ... YOU PROMISED TO DELETE THAT!

Goo: *professional blackmailing b-tch*

18.

Crystal: DG! Look at this mess! No wonder you haven't gotten any work done! This place is like a pigs Isle!

19.

Gun: that was some good coffee baby! I'd get another but I'm too damn lazy.

20.

Daniel: I'm going to search what Slay means.

Daniel: *saw the meaning of slay* WUHA, I PROMISE YOU ALL I DO NOT SLAY.

#lookism #lookism webtoon #goo kim #gun park #dad gun #gun lookism #gungoo #daniel lookism #daniel park #jay hong #euntae lee #zack lee #samuel seo #jake kim #jake kim lookism #olly wang #eli jang #jace park #johan seong #kitae hong #joy hong #eugene lookism #Beakgyeol lookism #james lee #crystal choi

[krash-and-co]

haven't done this in a while, so here !! l&co as stuff I've heard/said in the past few months, bc I don't remember exact exchanges before then 👍👍

arguably more unhinged for reasons unknown. fate of Gods favorite clown idk

Lucy: I thought Billie Joe Armstrong went to the moon for a long time, honestly.

~

Lucy: [calling Barnes] there's a stranger at our house. she tried really hard to get in, and--

Lockwood, in the distance: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

Lucy: we broke all the stranger danger rules.

~

Holly: Lockwood, you have the coolest style.

Lockwood: thanks!

Lucy: what?!? she just tells me I look gay.

Lucy: and homeless.

~

holly: I want to help disabled kids ride a tricycle. wait, I meant to say horses.

lockwood: you want to help disabled horses ride a tricycle??????

~

Lucy: I don't have mommy issues I just don't like my mom.

~

Lucy: you gave me a framed photo for my birthday

Lucy: and within thirty minutes you stepped on it.

Lockwood: but then I bought you a new frame!!!

Lucy: and then I opened it, and it looked like you stepped on it.

Lockwood: well I'm not buying you another one.

~

skull: ugh, theyre so obsessed with how they look.

lucy, nodding: yeah, they're all "oh I'm so perfect!" preps. they definitely shave their legs.

~

Lockwood: I need to work on my swearing problem, cuz there are adults around and they don't li-- *drops thermos* ow FUCK

~

Lockwood: shut the windows. shut the fucking windows, I feel like we're being watched.

Lucy: hahaha, this is fucking terrifying.

Lockwood: here are the knives.

Holly: do you have any baseball bats? I don't want to stab people.

George: no, but we have crutches. we can hit people with them.

Holly, nodding: that's good.

~

Lockwood: I'm stupid.

Kipps: no you're not- yes you are. I don't know why I said you're not, so I had to correct myself.

~

holly: if we kill someone, we'll get in.... trouble.

~

George: shit!! I mean fuck!!! I mean crap!!!

Lucy, hitting him repeatedly: stop CURSING YOU FUCKING-- DANG IT!!!!!

~

Holly: do you ever get the urge to be randomly violent, like-

[loud clatter as lockwood and kipps beat each other up in the background]

holly: yeah like that.

~

Kipps, on searching for Bobby: I used to just grab any kid I saw about his height with brown hair, but that caused problems.

~

Lucy: what's your biggest fear?

Lockwood: what? spiders.

Lucy: no the other one

Lockwood: change.

Lucy: no the-- the other one.

George: what do you WANT FROM HIM-

~

lucy: you're going to make me have a gambling addiction.

skull, nodding: that's the idea.

~

George: pff my mom says im special.

Lockwood: im also special! they put me in classes about it.

[Lockwood and George burst out laughing while everyone else stares]

~

[Lucy and George are punching each other, screaming, and spewing out profanity in sign language]

George: literally nobody even looked up

Lucy: we're at the point where it's normal

George: yeah, haha!

Lucy: haha!

[a moment of heavy breathing and grinning before they begin fucking attacking each other again]

~

George, to Lucy: ugh im so sore. why do you keep punching me.

[Lucy punches him]

~

ok last one but this was a hell of a fucking convo and it was so funny everyone just jumped in with random twists 😭😭

[kipps crew, l&co, and flo are all sitting in barnes otherwise empty office]

George: kipps sounds terminally online, but I can't figure out yet if it's the normal kind or if he has. like. a kin list.

Lucy: the two extremes. normal or homestuck.

George: I read all of homestuck but it's okay I'm normal now

skull: im-

lucy: skull YOU'RE terminally online, but like the video gamer kind. kipps sounds like he had a my hero academia phase.

Lockwood: I was friends with someone who would roleplay mha all the time.

George: like pretend to have powers or something?

Lockwood: no, like pretend to be the characters. interact as them.

bobby: I don't roleplay, but I like to imagine I'm a different person with powers sometimes :)

ned: ha, furry.

flo: furry? one of my friends knows a furry who got her tail stolen, and she's in the office right now.

Lockwood: like today??

flo: yeah today. she's there right now.

Lockwood: [silence] oh.

flo: yeah they just. yoink.

[silence]

bobby: .....im not a furry but--

Lucy: aaaand gonna stop you right there before you make things worse for yourself

kat: why can't we EVER have normal conversations

#pov the most insane person you know has friends and theyre just as bad #bonus points if you can guess who was me bc a lot of these things i said some of lol #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #holly munro #quill kipps #george cubbins #george karim #bobby vernon #ned shaw #kat godwin #flo bones #montagu barnes #lockwood & co #incorrect quotes #sort of lol

[sydsaint]

Idc he's hot 💛💚

Summary: After months of listening to Rhea and Dom, the reader snaps and leaves Judgement Day. Lucky for her, Jordan is an old friend and more than willing to assist with her new problem.

Raw is about to go on air and Judgement Day is all grouped up backstage.

"I think that Dom and I are gonna start the show." Rhea grins to herself. Dominick hanging off her shoulder.

"Oh, what a surprise!" You mumble under your breath from next to Finn.

Finn nudges you gently on the shoulder, warning you not to start something. But Rhea managed to hear your little comment. "What was that, Y/N?" She asks you with a raised brow.

"Nothing." You reply dryly. "Have fun out there." You fake a smile.

Rhea stares down at you for a moment through her thick false lashes but does not say anything else. She walks off and beckons Dominick to follow her.

Once Rhea and Doninick are gone, Finn turns to you with a stern look on his face. "Really, Y/N?" He scolds you.

"What?" You huff. "I'm right, aren't I?" You defend yourself. "Just because she's a champ doesn't mean she's got to act all high and mighty."

"Just, don't start anything with Rhea, Y/N. Please." Finn begs you.

You roll your eyes at your best friend but give in to his demand and nod. "Yeah yeah." You grumble.

Rhea and Dominick come back through the curtain a few minutes later after both of them managed to stir the pot and get Dom booked for a match. They walk over to you, Finn and Damien grinning at themselves.

"Now that'a how you open a show." Rhea laughs with Dominick.

"Yeah, being bitchy and entitled to the crowd until someone wants to come out and finally shut you up. Real original." You just can't help yourself.

Finn clenches his jaw next to you and rubs his forehead. He knows a fight can't be far out, now.

"What was that?" Rhea glares at you with a hand on her hip.

"Yeah! You can't talk to Mami like that." Dominick steps in.

You roll your eyes and shoot daggers at Dominick. "Fuck, you are so annoying!" You sneer at him. "Are you even capable of doing anything but dickriding Rhea like your life depends on it?!"

"Hey!" Rhea steps in.

"And you! God, I cannot stand you!" You point a finger at her. "We get it! You're every teenage boys and gay girl's fantasy woman! No one cares! Try getting an actual personality and fans that aren't horny teenage boys!" You fume.

The room falls silent as you and Rhea size one another up. Rhea goes to speak up finally, but you stop her. "Don't!" You warn Rhea. "I'm sorry, Finn. I love you, but I can't spend another second pretending to care about those two. I'm out!" You turn sharply on your heel and dismiss yourself.

You storm out of the backstage area fuming to yourself. People duck out of the way as they see you coming down the hall. But one person doesn't budge when you cross his path. Finn's old protege, JD McDonagh. Aka Jordan Devlin.

"Woah, who are you headed out to kill?" Jordan puts a hand out in front of him and stops you from advancing down the hallway.

"I'm not in the mood, Jordan!" You growl.

Jordan chuckles but doesn't budge. "Well, I can see that." He chuckles. "Where's Finn at? Or the rest of your crew?" He asks you.

"Ugh, don't even get me started." You seethe. "If I have to hear about Rhea or that idiot Dominick again I swear I'm gonna lose it." You grit your teeth.

"That so?" Jordan replies. "Hell, say the word, darling. I'll head over and kick some manner into Ol' Dominick's ass right now." He suggests.

You shake your head, finally coming down from your outburst. "If I wanted that idiot's ass kicked, I'd do it myself, Jordan." You insist.

"Fair enough." Jordan nods. "You can always hang out with me tonight, darling.  I'd love your company tonight if you're not hanging with Finn and the crew." He offers.

You think for a moment. The idea of hanging out with Jordan again doesn't sound terrible. The two of you used to hang out often back when Finn was still training him.

"I guess hanging out with you might not be so bad." You tease Jordan with a sly smile. "So, what's up? Got any plans for tonight?" You ask him.

"I've got one that you might like, yeah." Jordan nods and slings a casual arm over your shoulder. "I'm sure that you're aware that your bestie Rhea got Dom scheduled for a match tonight?"

You nod and turn your head to face Jordan as the two of you walk. "No, you didn't." You are quick to realize what Jordan is implying.

"Oh, but I did, darlin'." Jordan nods with a mischievous grin.

"No way!" You laugh. "Oh, this is perfect!" You clap your hands together. "I could kiss you right now, Devlin!"

Jordan laughs with you and holds his arms open with an inviting smile. "Lay one on me then, darlin'." He offers.

"I was kidding." You roll your eyes with a playful giggle. "Maybe if you win though." You tease him.

"Against Dominick Mysterio? Easy." Jordan scoffs confidently. "Come on. Let's go score ourselves an easy win for me and some sweet revenge for you."

You and Jordan head down to the curtain. Dominick is already out in the ring with Rhea at his side. And neither of them has any idea what's about to happen to them.

Jordan's music hits and he heads through the curtain. You wait a few seconds so he can get his full entrance done before you head out and shock the crowd.

You lock eyes with Rhea as you make your way to Jordan's side and he slings his arm around you again. She stares daggers at you and you return the look of disdain. Dominick is a little surprised to see you with Jordan. But one whisper from Rhea and he's ready to go.

"Go kick his ass." You offer Jordan a last word of encouragement before he climbs into the ring.

The match begins and you stalk around the ring to where the commentary table is. Rhea sneers at you as you pass her, but you just keep on walking.

"Y/N! This is certainly a surprise." Corey greets you when you walk over to his side of the table. "Tell us, why exactly are you out here with JD Mconagh instead of your Judgement Day colleges?" He asks you.

"I am no longer affiliated in any way with Judgement Day, Corey." You explain with a smile. "I joined Judgement Day when it was a group for people that wanted to be dominant and on top." You add. "Not some rat tag group of wannabes and glorified social media stars."

Rhea turns around when she hears your statement. The two of you stare at one another for a moment before you casually go back to chatting with Corey. You voice your displeasure that Finn won't be joining you. But besides that, you show no remorse for your prompt exit from the group.

Around the end of the match, Rhea takes it upon herself to help Dominick out so he can pull a win. But you are there just in time to stop her.

"Why don't we let mister Latino Heat, handle this himself, Rhea." You stand directly in her path.

"Ha! You think that I'm scared of you?" Rhea laughs.

You stand your ground with a cool smile on your face. "I know you are." You grin at her. "You're scared of me, Rhea because I have the one thing that all those other girls didn't. A partner."

The bell rings again and Rhea's head snaps to the ring just in time to see Jordan's hand being raised. You laugh as she fumes and slip into the ring and over to Jordan's side.

"Nice work, distracting Rhea for me." Jordan grins as you raise his hand in victory.

"My pleasure." You grin at Rhea outside the ring with Dominick. "You won. So lay one on me, ace." You tap your lips gently.

Jordan cracks a larger-than-life grin. "Yes, ma'am." He wastes no time and you find yourself in a dip before Jordan's lips are on yours.

#wrestling #wwe fandom #wwe fanfiction #jordan devlin #jd mcdonagh #the judgement day #rhea ripley #dominick mysterio #monday night raw #finn balor #wwe x reader #x reader

[eldrigeonsss]

ahh, but consider,,

FnC Goose Enforcer of Destiny soulmate au??

Dude,,,,,, oh my god.

No bc i can work with this actually- ignore the fact I had to google what the fuck a Goose Soulmate AU was, read a couple articles, and realized it’s exactly what I thought it was. You’re telling me there’s an ENTIRE trope where a goose gets the love interests together?? HELL YEAH

okokconsider,

The Albatross docks on an island to resupply, thinking this would be a normal stop. But when the crew steps off the ship, they instantly notice an overabundance of geese, just absolutely everywhere.

Gillion is a bit spooked by the sheer amount of “cobra chickens”, and is entirely convinced that they’re venomous, to which Chip and Jay reassure the geese are (mostly) harmless. And then Chip promptly gets chased back up the ship by one.

After a little dialogue with some locals, the trio comes to learn that this island has a deep-rooted love for geese, as there is a legend surrounding them. They learn that the main village used to be two failing townships, owned by two nobles who absolutely hated each other, who’s hatred bled into the entire island, and made the two townships completely incompatible. It was said that if the two worked together, they could save their people from starvation and sadness, but their pride stood in the way of the good of the people. For whatever reason, though, a goose appeared one day, and began harassing the noble to the leftmost township, chasing him and biting him and making his life completely miserable. Eventually, that goose chased him to his enemy’s homestead, and despite his pride he pleaded with the other noble to let him in. He complied, on the condition that the other apologize for all his misdeeds on his life. And after that, the two began talking. It was slow, and rocky, but whenever it looked as if the two were going to part ways, the goose would return and harass one of the nobles until they folded and apologized, and communicated.

After years of this goose’s antics, the two nobles did something that no one expected, and fell in love. Soon after, they combined the two townships into the village they see today, and wrote a decree that all geese be cherished and protected.

Chip did not know why these feisty things ever needed to be protected, but whatever. He’d be bit by that same goose from before when he voiced that opinion.

The legend continues on to say that if a goose takes particular interest in a person, it is because their soulmate is nearby and that person is past due their confession.

Chip also thinks that’s ridiculous, but he mostly keeps that to himself.

The rest of the time spent on that island would be sprinkled in with Chip getting harassed by a particularly feisty little goose named Marco, an adorable little creature with a bell around its neck and a bite force that should not be on a bird. Chip often times finds himself hiding behind Gillion from Marco, because for whatever reason, whenever the little prick is around Gill, it gets all lovey dovey and sweet, and that sure beats the alternative.

Cue gay moments.

Once their time on the island comes to an end, Chip is washed over with relief as they pull away from the dock, now equipped with a new fear of geese, free from the ire of the birds. Until he turns around and sees Marco sitting on the deck, watching him with those evil beady eyes. Cue the goose.

Not sure how it ends buuuuuut you see the vision, hopefully :> what do y’all think?

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #just roll with it riptide #Jrwi fnc #jrwi fish n chips #just roll with it fnc #chip x gillion #jrwi gillion tidestrider #gillion jrwi #gillion x chip #Jrwi chip #chip jrwi #chip bastard #chip lastname #fic ideas #jrwi fic

[the0retically]

114 Thoughts

- I wrote down almost every thought I had while watching this episode and I already want to go back and rewatch it, but if anyone wants to read my descent to madness here it is!

- Jay and Chip peak siblings this episode though

- IT’S GILLY SKIN??

- “That’s gilly skin.” “Well….hope he’s alright”

- Why do I feel like Goobleck is about to come back

- Also them talking about the ways they’ve thought about dying is So sad

- God fuck RAFT, they’re studying the hollowed to use it??

- Oh god other triton skin, is edyn here??

- Also when I said I wanted another Chip and Jay session of them doing stuff I didn’t want this

- Bizly and Condi need to deafen and leave for this?????

- That’s gotta be Edyn in this room with Gill right?

- WAIT IS IT ARLIN?? IS ARLIN UP ON THE HOOKS WITH GILLION?? Ok no it’s a triton

- KUBA KENTA?? He always said rats, is it him?? HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD IT IS

- GILLION YOU PUT THE HELMET ON??

- Oh god this helmet device is Not good, Gillion :(

- HE FEELS THE NEED TO BE A MORE OBEDIENT SOLDIER WHAT THE FUCK??

- Charlie rolled a zero on initiative goodness

- 20 ON STEALTH LETS GOOO GILLION!!

- HES BACK WITH THE GROUP!

- Also Gill please tell them about Kuba, good job that they know about his thoughts about the prophecy now but please they should know about Kuba

- “Fuck my fucking gay ass stupid life” CONDI PLEASE

- Fish and chips I hate you /j what the hell do you mean you dock your poles together??

- I do love that Chibo is still a nickname that’s just fun

- Oh god please tell me the crew didn’t follow them into the stronghold

- Chip is going through it

- “Praise the solar mother” ???? Ok grandma ferin

- But also I cannot believe they split up and left Jay alone

- And now Condi has to deafen while we’re with Gill and Chip goodness

- WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT GILLION IS NOT GILLION

- “They didn’t make me with all of his memories; you didn’t really think I just grew the skin back did you?”

- God and Condi is deafened for this oh not Not Ferin Well OH NO

- “I took the fireball for you” “yeah and that’s when I knew I had you”

- Charlie you’re too good at this

- My face is numb oh god chip please be ok

- “You hear in your head: chip is about to die” NO NO NO NO

- I have never felt dread like this before for a piece of media oh my god

- “…I don’t know how chip works?” “I don’t either dude!”

- Also I really want the riptide dice whenever they come out

- God Gillion seeing himself again must be Difficult

- Gill still has 1 HP goodness

- They’re gonna die, I’ve never been this scared for them

- THANK GOD THEYRE OUT THEYRE BACK TOGETHER

- oh god a chase now

- I JUST CHOKED OH MY WATER “oh yeah guys Kuna Kenta is downstairs! :D”

- Literally had to get up and pace for a few minutes

- “Do you think we can befriend doppel-Gilly?”

- Thank god doppel-Gilly can’t use prophetic screwup

- “Hey dopple-Gilly it is your destiny to jump into the hole” OH MY GOD??

- This has become some looney tunes shenanigans and I love it

- “I killed you once and I’ll do it again!” “I’m gonna go down with a smile and fuck you up and change the trajectory of your life!”

- This is insanity

- Also ok but both Chip and Gillion trying to convince Jay to get the other out of that room and save the other was Heartbreaking

- DOPPLE-GILLY IS PULLING FROM THE DECK?????? BIZLY WHY DID YOU SUGGEST THAT

- Prophetic screwup playing during this is so funny

- Condi just losing it and then everyone else just laughing is killing me

- This episode has been incredible holy shit

#jrwi #jrwi thoughts #jrwi spoilers #gillion tidestrider #Jay ferin #jrwi chip #riptide

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e3 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

squeezing this one in riiiiight before the next two eps drop lol. anyway these posts are about me processing these episodes and if you want to read them then that's cool too. but fair warning this is gonna be a fucking mess.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

show opens on zheng leading a raid and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. this might be the first time we've seen a raid where like. the background music is kinda moody. and what's odd is that it has like the same level of comedically over-the-top violence and characters just having a casual conversation as like, the e5 cold open. but there's sad piano and strings doing tremolo in the background. i have no idea what this means.

god. zheng is so fucking hot.

i love olu's "no, no, sorry, bruv." and the FACE HE MAKES AFTER!!! so good

olu's a feminist

ZHENG IS SO FUCKING HOT

~champers?~ stede you are such a dork. i need to pinch ur cheeks.

yeah fuck the english!!

zheng saying "everyone's cracking down on the little guy" makes me wonder if the show is gonna do anything abt how the end of the golden age of piracy was like. a year off. which i only know from reading a few fics where the authors incorporated that into the plot. and there was the one trailer where we see zheng in jackie's bar while stede's giving everyone a speech so yknow what that might be where all this is going. big pirate battle at the end of the season, right?

another thing ive been wondering abt tho is just how much is this show gonna completely fuck with history. because like. is zheng yi sao gonna conquer the fucking caribbean. are we just going completely off the rails re: historical accuracy and inventing entire major historical events?? like crocs and pinocchio and pirates from different historical periods all existing at the same time and in the same place is one thing but if the characters like. overthrow england. then ofmd just straight-up exists in an alternate timeline at that point.

stede "the gentleman pirate kills with kindness" bonnet being so impressed with zheng is so cute to me tho

fhsjkgdhfushl oh my god when zheng snaps her fingers and stede hurries to refill drinks the other captain guy grins and flashes finger guns at stede and this is SO fucking funny to me

zheng being like "noooo it's stupid teehee" tucking her hair behind her ears ALSO very funny to me

whose job was it to make the letter N out of caviar for the title card in this episode bc it looks fantastic. got little serifs and everything

stede taking his towel duties VERY seriously and just. dropping them on zheng's desk for no reason. even olu is like "stede what the fuck are you doing"

obsessed with the running gag of stede being like "i always say that!" and other characters being like "no you fucking dont"

stede having zero impulse control and seeing the abacus and just being like "hey what the hell is this thing" and shaking it around. me too, king.

i wont lie tho part of me wonders if stede like. going overboard with towel duty and messing shit up is on purpose. like is he playing dumb so zheng lets her guard down just in case he needs her to think he's completely helpless?? bc at the end of the episode he does get one over on her and i assume it's partly bc she underestimated him. or am i just reading too much into it lol.

but idk it's weird that olu's like "ok stede zheng is busy" and stede's just like "im gonna shake this thing now teehee"

WAIT ALSO backtracking a bit. why were stede and olu shadowing zheng at the beginning of the episode. i mean olu i get, it's bc she has a crush on him (who can blame her) but what's the in-universe justification for zheng being like "yeah alright white boy u can come too"

stede's gay little run out of the room. GO GET YOUR MAN!!!!

awww the crew all look so sad at how messed up the ship is :( THAT'S THEIR HOME!!!

I KNEW THE GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 WAS GONNA KILL ME WHEN IT SHOWED UP IN S2 BUT THIS WAS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THE WAY IT TRAILS OFF AND WE JUST HEAR THE WIND ECHOING. FUCKINGGGGG CLAWING AT MY EYES

i love that there's knife stuck in the painting guy's dick. stupid gags like that never get old. also if that was izzy it's extra funny like what the fuck did he even do that for

also have we ever actually seen the outside of the door to stede's cabin like this before??? we saw those dutch guys get chased down this hallway but idk about. the door.

the crew is too busy feasting on raw bird like they're extras in a zombie film to hear stede calling for ed. love that.

the two people that the camera focuses on individually are jim and izzy. makes sense bc these are the characters who i think are gonna have the most important shit going on re: the fact that they all tried to kill ed.

stede's painfully awkward smile after "um... hi." i mean honestly tho what the fuck else do you say to walking in on this

oh shit jim was totally about to tell stede what happened tho. and then archie interrupted with "oh shit, you're stede?????"

this must be so fucking funny from archie's perspective tho. must've heard so much abt this guy and now she finally gets to meet the main character of the story she stumbled into about a third of the way through. and he's kinda just some blond guy.

stede sounds so defensive too tho when archie's like "i thought you'd be taller, charismatic, muscly" bc god that's exactly what he thinks he should be. i mean ok stede is charismatic in a very unique way but his whole e1 fantasy of having a beard and being all macho and badass was just putting all his insecurities on blast. and now archie is like "this is the guy blackbeard was so fucked up over?? really????"

shoutout to archie saying "got tired" when theyre all saying ed retired

also why was wee john in this shot. like not even just in the shot he's just sitting RIGHT behind stede listening to the whole thing. he doesn't have a single line.

stede rolling his eyes and ignoring izzy is so good. yes king dont take the bait

oh ok wee john was there so that we can see frenchie go over to him and give him a fist bump in the background while stede walks away to stare off into the distance

eddie on tha beach

piggie!

cave! remember when we were all like "CAVE KISS???? ARE THEY GONNA KISS IN THE CAVE??????" it would be funny if this is it for the cave. just off in the distance for one shot. cant actually tell if this is the cave they were posting pictures of last fall tho and idrc enough to try and figure it out

pig's name is ruthie. ed why did your subconscious name the pig ruthie.

why did ed's subconscious make hornigold tell him "open up for the cargo ship" ed your daddy issues are fucking insane

hornigold fully like rubs ed's chest for a second there. kinda a weird choice there.

"last time i saw you, you said you were gonna flay my skin and feed it back to me" man what is it with these pirates and forced autocannibalism, huh? i think getting flayed would hurt more but skin's probably easier to eat than toes so idk which i'd prefer. no i dont know why im pondering this either

smthng abt how this is ed hallucinating this whole bit where hornigold pinches his nose and force-feeds him soup is so funny to me. it's a metaphor for ed dragging himself kicking and screaming to therapy.

frenchie telling fang to stfu scjgdfchjxgk

fucking incredible line delivery from joel fry through the whole "it's quite hot, im burnin up here! should we go and get some coolin' bevvies?" bit. love it.

uhh line break

also bro auntie is dead-on about the guilt. i dont blame the crew at all for what they did but this + the whole bird-eating sequence bro. they all liked ed. they cared abt him. other than archie, they all knew him as a pretty cool person. like BRO im gonna have to make another post abt this but the trauma of like, someone you liked becoming so suicidal that he puts you in increasingly miserable situations hoping you'll snap and kill him and he keeps escalating it until you have no choice but to kill him for your own safety. but you know he was a funny and chill person before this. and you know he only did this bc he wanted to die. dude this shit is fucking heavy.

anyway cut to jimolu lol

bro what IS going on in towels. i love how stede just passes around towels for smelling. is this something people have done literally ever or is this just so we can have chloroform towels at the end of the episode

sorry i know in the last post i was sort of squinting at the bit where olu forgot how to pronounce china but the was he mispronounces eucalyptus is just so satisfying to hear i cant even be mad abt it

awwwwgh u can tell jim was scared to tell olu abt kissing archie

lmaoooo when jim says "i saw her boobs" olu's head WHIPS around and he's like "oh??" all wide-eyed dbhjgkhdfyjsk

naw im sorry this is cute. this is a cute tealoranges scene. yes it's jim telling olu abt how they hooked up with someone else but bro i LOVE relationships with this kind of comfortable discussion abt sex and abt relationships in general. i mean there's a lot more for them to talk about still but in a worse show this wouldve been a whole screaming match. instead we got jim saying "you're kinda the best friend i tell everything to" and joking about boobs and UGH. it's so cute!!!!

it's also so fucking funny tho. "i saw her boobs" "oh?? okay, nice" "both of them" "nope, too much" WHY IS THAT WHERE HE DRAWS THE LINE HFKHSGJKFKKJFHK

also when did jim see archie's boobs tho. like ok realistically they've seen each other in varying stages of undress just bc it's not that big of a ship and there's only so much privacy. but the funnier answer is that after ed kicked them out of the secret room and a few minutes later a gunshot went off (who did the rest of the crew think pulled the trigger, i wonder) and they think izzy's dead probably. and then jim and archie decided this was a good time to hook up.

wait i forgot abt the nebulous amount of time between the mutiny and stede walking in on them all eating a dead bird. who fucking knows how much time that was tho. but they could've hooked up then i guess

GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. IM SOBBING.

the song gets to play out more in this scene and ohhhh baby i missed this piano piece. also stede looks more annoyed than upset. he's just casually yoinking things out of the wall. and then he sees the ones on the ceiling and is like "really, ed?"

i think i said this in the tags of a gifset but izzy says "don't cry, bonnet" when stede's back is to him and i just think it's funny bc stede literally wasnt crying. he just looked kinda pissed off. izzy continues to not understand ed or stede even a little bit.

also i love how the music changes by just playing a minor chord and then there's like a spooky echo and then. no more background music.

i just realized izzy's crutch is literally just a mop he's holding upside down. this is funny to me for some reason

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one" izzy hands racism moments

why does izzy even lie about this. why does he say "no i could never do that" when literally he did. he looked right at ed's face as jim hit it with a fucking cannonball. like. what fucking purpose does lying about this even serve. in what way does that benefit izzy. idgi

also ive heard that apparently ppl think he did this to spare stede or something but 1. why would he not want to specifically torture stede as much as possible 2. this is literally not sparing stede bc stede would spend the rest of his life scouring the entire caribbean hoping to find the island where they dropped ed.

RANDOM fucking idea tho but what if they did maroon him but it was on the island from 1x02. that wouldve been great for ed probably. get therapy from the old guy. have some coconut rum drink. chill out. oh well instead they shoved ed into a secret closet and left him there to die from a traumatic head injury.

hornigold calling ed "bro" was such a dead giveaway for me that this was a dream sequence or whatever. like from trailers and stuff i had already figured that this guy was hornigold and that he was probably a ghost or something but i think i mightve been questioning it a little bit at this point. but yeah anyway ed says "bro" and while obviously we dont know exactly what hornigold was like, he didnt sound like the kind of guy to say "bro"

i do love how hornigold's like "you worried you're insane?" and ed's just like "yeah a little bit!"

hornighost: you gotta move on or blow your brains out. or... we can make some soup. ed: yeah let's do soup.

wait stede told zheng that they marooned ed. and then zheng is like "well it's at least mutiny-adjacent" like no im pretty sure that's literally just a regular mutiny

bro rubio qian is so good at making faces

i love how ed's like "you ever thought about selling these shoes?" like who the fuck is hornigold going to sell them to. where does ed think they are.

OUGH RETURN OF ED'S HAIR ALL UP IN A BUN!!!!

ough... return of ed's trauma :(

ughughghuhguhughughgffffff every time i hear ed's voice in the bathtub scene i want to cryyyyy SOMEONE HUG THIS MAN I SWEAR TO GOD

also hornigold's mouth definitely moves in this shot where ed climbs off his body lol

hnnng... ed arm

oughuhgu and a strand of the wig came out of the bun WHY IS HE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

i cant believe for months i had my fingers crossed for the "person A thinks person B is dead" trope with ed hearing about the fuckery but instead i got it THE OTHER WAY AROUND. AAAAAAAAAAAHH

yo is hornigold wearing like. a flag. idk why i just noticed this but there's like a giant metal rung with rope tied through it holding his whole robe-ish situation together. is that a flag

very random thought but i love how tv shows just cut back and forth btwn plots and one plot might basically be one conversation but every time we cut back theyre in a different setting and we dont see how they got there. like the cut from stede walking in on the crew eating a bird to all of them back on zheng's ship eating soup. and now we went from ed yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" at hornighost's hut and now they're on a beach talking abt what the fuck is going on. why did they go there. who knows. doesnt matter.

ed is so fucking stressed abt being in the gravy basket. poor man is nervously playing with the big stick and trying so hard not to lose his cool.

damn he threw that stick really far tho. good arm.

im sorry but it's SO fucking funny how zheng is trying to seduce olu in this scene and she's like "whats the status of your boatmance is it... ongoing?" *unsheathes sword* like girl that's not seduction that's a full-on threat. i mean it's still hot dgmw but it's unclear what exactly you're going for here

YES STEDEY-BOY

loving the jaunty little escape music

archie and jim holding haaands

stede: you always say you have perfect aim black pete: ive never said that roach: you always say that lucius, throwing his beloved boyfriend under the bus: you said it today

buttons is so fucking loud fhjkhgyejkthfjkhg. ngl i relate tho

obsessed with the noise button makes when he slides across to the Revenge

and they use tea towels to slide over!! god stede really made the most out of his time in towels

~~

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE how olu is the one sitting on the desk with his legs dangling and kicking during this makeout session

also obsessed with how theoretically olu could've seduced zheng out of killing the crew and it's possible that none of this was necessary

wait i literally just realized that they stole the wheel not just so that zheng couldn't follow them but bc the Revenge didnt have one lol

ugh ed's tits look so good what the hell

ed in his head instantly associates the phrase "calico jack" with someone going "WHOOHOO" at the top of their lungs

oughu FUCK i did not fucking realize this but ed is taking hornigold's presence here as confirmation that he's not loveable. earlier hornighost said "you're afraid you're unlovable" but then when he's on the cliff and he's like "you brought me here because you hate yourself" ed is like "im not loveable." ohhhhhh fuck

and then hornigold is like "and you're afraid to do anything about it. but im not" and then throws the rock off the cliff. this is the shittiest part of ed's brain calling him a pussy for not killing himself and telling him he deserves to die. fuuuuuuuuck me.

oh boy okay. ed got yanked off the cliff. stede is heading into the secret room. idk if i even have anything to say about the mermaid sequence like i cant believe this shit is real. fuck. this is a fever dream. they really just... wrote this. filmed it. put rhys darby in a fish tail. FUCK

ok the two things i have to say about this. first: the fucking flashback montage in this sequence makes me stop breathing like every single fucking time. secondly: when theyre face-to-face in ed's mermaid fantasy there's a split second where ed sort of jolts forward a tiny tiny tiny half of an inch. and i have no idea if it's intentional. but it makes me think of how in the "you wear fine things well" scene ed TOTALLY STEPS IN THINKING STEDE'S ABOUT TO KISS HIM.

WRITTEN BY ALYSSA LANE AND ALEX SHERMAN. SHOUTOUT TO THOSE GUYS.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #score #alyssa lane #alex sherman #txt #mine #og #s2e03 #blackbonnet #crew of the revenge #tealoranges #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

[meteor752]

Episode 8 thoughts

I’m scared

Philosophy with Edward, good start

He looks strangely cute honestly, like a very happy boy

Alright, random guy just aggressively “HMMMMMM”

You indoctrinating them into your sea cult Eddie?

Random guy being more aggressive, aight

At this point I had to leave for class, so like tbc for me

Okay I’m back!

Aww they hugging :)

Mans name is pop pop?

Okay it’s not

I adore Ed’s hair, but I think that’s a given here

Yeah okay mans is strugglin

Bye bye Eddie!

Prince boy is back…hurray

Spanish Jackie is absolutely slaying, I adore her

Aaaaaaaand, I have class again, jolly good

If I get called away again I’m gonna loose it

Oh great the stupid nose jar is back

Oh no Swede!!

Oh the bridge is back!

This is a strange friendship, but I kinda love it. The gay loser and bisexual girlboss is back

Let’s go Stede! Save your bestie!

Eddie nooooooooooooo

Eddie yessssssssssssss

Goth Ed is back, ready to avenge his bf

My god he looks fucking cool

OH THE KRAKEN

Izzy keeps on being the best character of the season

I think Prince boy has a crush on Izzy, just like the rest of the fandom

What you trynna do prince boy

“It’s about belonging to something when the world has told you you’re nothing” pirating keeps on being an allegory for the queer community, and it keeps being so sweet, especially to Izzy’s story

Wait when did Roach and Fang even get here?

THOSE LETTERS ARE NOT FOR YOU MISTER

Casually reading the letter while stabbing a guy, he just keeps on winning

The fanfics were right!!! He did find the letters!

“YOU WROTE ME A LOVELY LETTER!!” gurl saaaaaaame

THE BLACK BEACH!!

Girlboss is helping!!

STEARD!!!

Smooch!

I’m so soft…

That reunion is all I ever wanted out of this show actually

“For love!!” Stede we don’t deserve you

Don’t ya dare touch Lucius scarf!

Oh Auntie is alive!

When did Jim become the crew doctor? They are somehow worse at it than Roach I’d say

New trio to obsess over

Edward Teach canonically did a flip during a fight, my baby

They are both so supportive to their golden retriever friend/bf

Babe!!

“But you’re not a man. You’re soft” alright auntie

Trans Oluwande?

Izzy keeps saying eat the rich, and we stan him

Izzy!!!!!!! Hell yes!!!!

Oh oh my god

Please don’t tell me Swede died for that!

Oh okay no he’s like that princess bride dude, aight

Olu is a great support system

Ed is slaying in his gay ass sitting way

I DID NOT CONSENT TO HAVING A FULL BARE ARSE JUST DISPLAYED IN FRONT OF ME

Stede looks surprisingly sexy in that outfit

Alright, a little Archie Jim action, hell yeah

How come every time they kiss Izzy is just, in the background

THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD!!

Frenchie!

Girlbosses, all of them

HOLY FUCKING SHIT JIM

Aww, Eddie cares <3

Aww, Izzy does not care <3

Frenchie helps Izzy! Fuck do I ship that now?

If Izzy dies I’m gonna throw my computer

Izzy remains the best even while on deaths door

Wait he called him Eddie?

Okay I don’t have captions, so I have no idea what Izzy is saying here

WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?!?!

Okay I heard Twat

Something about family?

Oh my god…

Okay I’m not throwing my computer because it’s technically my school’s computer but like bruv

NO!!!

IZZY!!!!!!!!

Why him??????

Zheng apart of the crew? Ayo?

Stede don’t push it

WEDDING!!!

Why is Wee John officiating?

Maybe it’s because he’s Calypso

Oh no they’re all officiating that’s sweet

Mateys!!!

Roach is a doll

Frenchie is officially the first mate? Ayo???

INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!!!

Does that mean Frenchie is the captain??

The cravat!

Hi Buttons

Frenchie!

I think this is the first interaction Wee John and Frenchie has had all season, which is sad honestly

If we get a season 3, it better switch povs between The Revenge and Stede and Ed’s adventures as innkeepers, together with their pet bird Buttons and the ghost of Izzy

#ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stedward #Black Pete #lucius spriggs #Lupete #Ofmd roach #Spanish Jackie #The Swede #zheng yi sao #Izzy Hands #jim jimenez #oluwande boodhari #Ofmd Archie #Oluarchim #wee john feeney #Ofmd fang #the crew of the revenge #Ofmd Frenchie #Ofmd Buttons #Ouizzy

[worm-in-a-trenchcoat]

Yeah, okay Mattel 💀.

If they actually are going to make MH more inclusive, then hell fucking yeah, do that shit. But why wait until Pride month to do it?? Like come on, we aren't stupid. This is just screaming "oh look it's gay month, let's take their money and give them false hope that we changed" like every other big brand this month and it's annoying as hell.

The MH crew tries so hard to make the brand as inclusive as they can, but Mattel just won't let them and it's sad. I highly doubt anything is actually going to come from this "inclusive message".

(ID- "A message from the official monster high facebook page reading 'We all deserve the freedom to explore and express our most authentic selves. At Monster High, we’re starting in our own halls. True pride begins when we stand with each other – because fur, fangs, stitches, or claws, we ALL belong. In our mission to create a safer world for LGBTQ+ youth everywhere, we’re partnering with GLSEN, an organization that works to ensure that LGBTQ+ students are able to learn and grow in a school environment free from bullying and harassment. This month and always, be yourself, be unique, be a monster. Happy Pride!' With a rainbow emoji at the end. Pictured underneath the text is am image of Clawdeen, Lagoona, Deuce, Draculaura and Frankie from the knees down, and all of their shoes are colored to be the gay flag in different color gradients"- END ID.

-

And of course me being me, I made a comment about their lack of inclusiveness and how every time Garret proposed a gay character, Mattel would shoot it down and claim it "wasn't the right time". I'm just waiting for them to delete it like they always do when someone calls them out lol.

#monster high #clawdeen wolf #frankie stein #Draculaura #lagoona blue #jackson jekyll/holt hyde #pride month #image described

[iwanttoleavethisblankbuticant]

little collection of my brain tangles, relating to my OCs that I previously abandoned… part 1

Yooo I actually wrote something! Bare with me because I’m not a good writer and I’m a visual thinker. So when I think of these stories, they’re in WEB/TOON form in my brain. Then I have to translate all that into words. It’s a painful process for me. But I actually wrote and it feels good

I’m sorry if the story makes literally no sense. It’s hard for me to get the world I built down.

TW: swearing, male arousal, sneeze, slight mess, gay. It’s not letting me add a cut again I’m sorryyyyy. ——————————————————————— the whole crew (Vex, Mackie, Knox, Asher) all being going out to eat. They get seated, order there food and drinks, and just bask in the coziness of the little diner they’re in. Mackie, being unable to sit still to save his life, begins the fidget with the condiments on the table. “the hell are you doing?” Vex asks him incredulously, cocking an eyebrow at him. “deciding what condiments I’m gonna use when I eat your knee caps.” Replies the gremlin with a happy smile. Vex just scoffs and looks at the other two people at the table. Knox is looking over at Asher’s phone as Asher mindlessly scrolls. Vex doesn’t particularly like talking, but he wishes someone would say something. Or something would at least happen. He shouldn’t have wished that.

Mackie, in his fidgeting, knocks over the pepper shaker. No damage seems to be done. Nothing spilt, so Mackie just picks it up, puts it back with the salt, then continues fidgeting with a ketchup bottle. a few minutes pass until they notice that the pepper shaker did have some effect. “*hih*” the tiniest, breathy-ist hitch comes from Knox. It flys right over Mackie’s head. But Vex and Asher are both hyper aware of it immediately. “you good there, big man?” Asher asks tentatively, wondering if he’s in for a show. He can’t help the smirk that pulls it’s way across his face.

“yeah. Nose itches a bit.” Knox mutters, not paying much mind to the question. But those words fill Vex full of dread. And Asher full of anticipation.

“oh? Why’s that? What’s bothering your nose?” Asher presses, smirking. “I don’t fucking know. That pepper shaker dust whatever. When Mackie knocked it over. Sent little bits all up in the air. It just makes my sinuses buzz.” Knox says with a shrug. Vex wanted to curl up and die. All this nose talk had his mind going places he wished it wouldn’t go. Especially over Knox! He hated Knox. But fuck. That kinda talk was doing something to him.

“just blow your fucking nose, dip shit” Vex hisses. “stop being an asshole. I don’t need to blow my nose. You can shut the fuck up if your getting mad at me for just existing.” Knox growls.

Vex just rolls his eyes and turns his head to his left, facing Mackie. Vex hoped that would be the last of it. A new conversation would pick up, he’d calm down and soon eat food then go back home where he could sulk. But of course that wish didn’t come true. Soon vex could hear the faint squelching sound of someone, Knox, rubbing his nose. Curiosity killed the cat and Vex looked up at Knox, only to find him rubbing circular motion into his irritated red nose. Vex was all too aware of Knox suddenly. He forces his eyes back to Mackie. He forces his eyes to stay on Mackie even when he hears another hitch come from Knox.

“hehh… hii.. fuck me” Knox groans under his breath.

“My dick would like to” Vex thinks to himself, very much annoyed at Knox and his sensitive nose. I mean, who even sneezes because some peppery air exists. And why must it drag out so long? If it was a one and done sneeze then Vex could manage himself. But no. He just doesn’t have that luxury.

“Daddy chill~” Asher says in response to Knox’s murmuring. Asher smiles cheekily at Knox who just rolls his eyes. “shut up. Both y’all” Vex says through gritted teeth. “both of us?? What the hell did I doooo heh! Hiiihhhh mmmm, fuck. Heh.. heeh. Ah!…nhg.. shit, fucking lost it..” moans and groans Knox.

Vex wants to not exist. Even more he wishes Knox didn’t exist. He could feel the urge for his hand to go to his crotch. But he refused to palm himself here and now, especially to Knox.

“Aww, what’s your nose doing? Can’t handle the mildest spices” Mackie teases.

Knox huffs and goes back to rubbing his nose. “I guess. This stupid tickle just won’t leave.” Knox moans. With a thick sniffle that makes Vex want to decapitate himself even more, Knox sniffs back up the mucus building in his sinuses that’s trying desperately to roll down his upper lip.

“just go to the fucking bathroom and blow your nose and get your shit together” Vex growls.

“yeah? I ought to drag you with me and beat your ass while I’m at it.” Knox says back with a scowl. “…” Knox’s words put a whole plethora of ideas in his head, non of which he wants to do with Knox. “no.” Vex says finally. An awkward silence falls amongst the group. But it’s quickly filled with Knox’s hitches.

“heh hiiii… hehehe! Hehh. Ahh.. ahhh.. he-hehhhh…. Ngh… heeehhh. Hiiihhhh. Mmmm~ fuck… ehhh… hih-hih-hhheehh.” Knox hitches, sounding an awful lot like something else. Vex can’t help but rest his hand on his pent up member. The weight of his hand mixed with the noises Knox is making, Vex uses all the self control he has no to buck his hips. “heshhhuu!” Knox sneezes finally, not covering his mouth despite all the warnings the sneeze gave him. Droplets off spray land on the table. None reach Vex, but they still drive him mad. A tendril of snot clings to Knox’s upper lip. Knox wipes it away as Mackie whines about getting sneezed on. Apparently some of the spray had gotten on him. “I’m gobing to thd bathroomb.” Knox says, punctuating his sentence with a thick sniffle. “oki, bless you Chico~” Asher says as he gets out of the booth so Knox can get out. Vex is just glad it’s over with. At least he is until he hears Knox sneeze again from a distance and the problem on his hands gets bigger. Or more like the problem between his legs.

#snz kink #sneeze kink #snz fic #snzblr #sneeze blog #sneezefucker #snz things #blank strikes again #snz fet #I actually used my oc’s #who am I?? #actually writing??

[apocalypseyoshia]

kaido x male reader

As a part of December celebration I am doinghere’s day 4

Miners,Female or anyone who uses she/they pronouns mdin

Warning: Gay sex, kinky sex ,possessiveness ,nipple piercing ,usage of toys very very briefly ,slight size difference let’s just be honest here it’s a size kink ,degradation, name calling,collar kink, Captain kink, punishments including paddles, demon devil fruit user

First person POV

It was a simple day in Wano or at least it was supposed to be but of course kaido had to do something to tick off a nerve and what better way to do that and make an alliance with some pirates Lord knows why he wants these specific ones but they’re annoying loud and obnoxious constantly wrecking everything in sight and of course on my one day off the day that King was supposed to fill in for me but nevertheless I’m here I’m being forced to have fun

“why are you so gloomy you should be enjoying yourself”

said a very already drunk kaido

“It’s gonna be hard to do that seeing as we’re gonna have to pay for all the damages the stupid pirates are making”

“Did you forget we are pirates as well”

king tried to tell me off

“No I did not it’s just these ones are stupider than the normal batch kaido brings in”

King sighed and give me a look of defeat dealing with an already drunk kaido I can understand that look

“Just try to be nice”

“Ok ok but I make no promises”

I went to the bar in hopes that I’ll find something good to drink I was never really a people person so I wonder how the hell I got in this mess in the first place and then I remember it’s all because of that idiot

Flashback

You see me Kaido and Linlin along with Edward we’re on the same crew unfortunately ,don’t get me wrong that crew was absolutely amazing being on the same crew as them it was like being on a human roller coaster fun at first but it slowly gets more and more exhausting ,we started out as cabin boys eventually became an actual part of the crew me and kaido Were specifically close because he would always create a mess and I would always be the one that had to help him clean it up I swear up-and-down that the minute we turned our backs the captain had a sadistic grin on his face from seeing my shocked face because I would always have to be the one to clean up kaido’s mess but over time we grew closer and eventually when he started his own crew I was his first mate

End of Flashback



I didn’t even noticing but I started grin at my drink and eventually someone walked up to me

“ why someone as handsome as you drinking all alone“

“ got bored of my boss and this party that’s why“

“ maybe I can make this party worth your time“

“ thanks but you’re not my type“

“ that I could be“

” I assure you that you couldn’t“

“ what is your type“

“ bat shit crazy“

“ check“

She tried to lean closer and tried to grab my tall oh yeah then I mention Devil fruit user literally fortunately my fruit turn me into a literal devil with horns  A tail and wings I tried pushing her away but I guess some people just don’t get a hint

” Black hair“

” I am Downstairs“

She said this she grabbed onto one of my horns and I had just about enough of her bullshit

“ Packing 30 inches”

She looked at me with disgust and then angrily stomped away guess someone didn’t tell her I’m in to dudes

I laughed myself until I feel tap on my shoulder and turn around and see who’s who

“Boss wants you and he’s drunk out of his mind”

Oh goody gumdrops

 of course I walked over to see that he was pissed and fully sober might I add something he rarely is especially one of these times

“ what do you want Captain”

He cleared his throat for a second

“ meet me in my Chambers”

Fuck

This wasn’t gonna end well at least not from my poor back

How’s he walked in front of me I slowly walked behind him he said to get in and he had some business to do as he open the door to his room

“ I want to completely stripped and prepared by the time I get back“

“ understand“

I tried not to make eye contact with him or slowly nodding

“ I thought I said“

“understand”

“Yes kaido”

”that is not my name”

He looked at me angrily I know it was in for tonight

“Sorry caption I understand “

“Good finally acting like the whore we all know you are”

And with that swollen closed the door behind him

I wasn’t stupid I know I need to be fast it wasn’t like he was gonna be gentle slowly stripping out of everything I went up to the top drawer and grab some lube and a dildo how do I know where everything was oh come pirates on the ocean for maybe months at a time you expect not one of us to be into dudes slowly squirting a generous amount I start to push past my entrance

Ah” a lust full moan came out of my mouth and then another another another so slowly started to rock back-and-forth on the rubber toy

Trying for even a second to imagine the real thing

As I did that I slowly start to play with my nipple piercings trying to drive any pleasure out but before I cum I remember kaido’s words with me our first time doing it

Flashback



”look at me I’m the only one that gets to grant you release you do as I say or you will be severely punished “

End of flashback 

 don’t get me wrong the punishments were amazing but I still had work to do in the morning so I sucked it up and held it in slowly I took the rubber toy out and grabbed another thing from the top drawer a collar with The engraving whore and a vibrator

“Fuck”

how many times have I wore that without anyone noticing that sadist would see it as a game pushing it in my entrance right after I gave him blow job right before meeting while taking on my collar in hand and telling me to be good and then purposely turn on the vibrator as I’m giving my mission reports how many times have I had to wear a collar as a choker or a very large T-shirt to hide it because he would not let me take it off

Nevertheless I put the collar on the vibrator up just enough to stretch me out before he came

And as I got lost in the pleasure i start hear faint stops on the floor quickly things vibrator out and putting in a black butt plug in it’s place The very same one that drove him mad every night hopefully if he was too keen on fucking me he would forget about my punishment

as I was kneeling on the side of the bed he came in

“ ha I see some whores do you know their place”

” now tell me why aren’t you on the bed“

“ because only good boys are allowed bed”

” and where are you good boy“

“No”

“ well what did you do that was so wrong“

“ I let someone touch your property“

“That’s right “

He said circling me like I’m some sort of pray to him and as he grabbed one of my horns from the tip of the base I moaned

“ these sensitive little things are mine“

“ and so is this“

He said slap my ass I slightly toppled forward due to the impact and he laughed

He’s slowly open the top drawer and took something out it’s only when he turned around and I saw it was

“n-no no I promise I will be good please just not that”

He laughed holding the Paddle up to my ass

“ you said that last time and look where we are“

“ I promise I tried to stop her but“

He cut me up off

“ I know you did and she will get her punishment but right now I’m more interested in yours“

” normally I would give you 20 but because I’m feeling generous today I’ll only give you 10“

“Now count”

He said grabbing both of my arms with his one hand

“One”

I said as he learned the first shit eventually reach to 10

By the time it was done I was panting and sweating murmuring out sorry after sorry I slowly start to grid on the bedsheets to get any sense of relief unfortunately he caught on rather quickly and threw me on the bed face down ass up keeping his hand and hold of both my hands before getting handcuffs and handcuffing me to the bedpost

” now now and here I thought you were starting to actually become good boy and I was even thinking of getting you some new jewelry”

He said well playing with my nipple piercing

As his Hand grabbed on to my horns and his elbow press on my back making sure I won’t move And his other arm grabbed onto my tail while slowly sliding himself into me

thank God for all the preparation I did earlier or else I would already be split in half but even then I wouldn’t have minded it’s not like I could actually think in the midst of all of this one thing you need to know about demons are tails and horns are weak points and he damn well knew that

“Fuck you like this don’t you you like getting used like a whore we all know you are and getting treated like nothing more than a sex doll “

“Y-y”

” look at yourself you can’t even finish a simple word pathetic“

He kept fucking me with the ruthlessness his thrusts making whole hallways echo but his degrading words making it only more pleasurable

“C-cu”

“ do you wanna cum”

He said In a fake empathetic and a mocking tone as if he was actually trying to be nice

I nodded my head

“ well do it because I’m not stopping until I cum”

Eventually he came and so did I for the Fifth time that night

“ you know you will be Repaying me with blowjobs for the rest of the week you came five times and I only came once“

“Yes captain “

I didn’t wanna argue with him I know it only get me In to more trouble

#one piece smut #male reader #gay #smut #kaido x reader #one piece x reader