#oc: chloe winters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyswan · 4 months

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summary: in which leaving the past behind is not as easy as forgetting, and you want to be everything jungkook wants to know.

idol!jungkook x f!reader, est. relationship / angst, fluff / wc: 7.9k

playlist: strange by celeste / sinking by clairo / manta rays by chloe moriondo / ceilings by beabadoobee / iris (cover) by phoebe bridgers & maggie rogers

content/warnings: [deep breath] no one will know the violence it took to become this gentle / it’s their first winter as a couple / oc’s ex bf slaps oc / jk beats up the ex / blood and bruises / crying :( / mention of cheating (not in our main’s rs we don’t tolerate that in this household :]) / mention of s*x / jimin as both their older brother and friend :(

in which masterlist!

note: greeting 2024 with angst woopsie… i literally ugly sobbed writing a particular scene T_T… anwww i hope it’s a good read <3 as always reblogs and feedback are appreciated! i’d love to hear your thoughtsss 🥺

—

the word VICTORY flashes across the screen.

with a proud smirk adorning his lips, jungkook pushes down his headphones to hang around his neck.

he rises from his seat, resting his crossed arms over the partition dividing the computer that you’re renting from his.

“hi, baby. are you almost done?”

he chuckles to himself when he realizes that you didn’t hear him, not with the music blasting from your headphones. you direct your attention upwards when endless song by no reply is abruptly put on pause; the cushions of the headphones are pressed up against your cheek by your boyfriend’s doing.

“what?”

“hi, baby. are you almost done?”

“oh, yes…” your focus returns to the screen, fast fingers dancing along the keyboard without an ounce of hesitation weighing on them. “i just… need to… send the file to my email.”

jungkook blinks at the long rows of words you’re masterfully curating, thinking to himself — how the hell do you think and type that fast at the same time?

it was his suggestion to stay at a pc bang tonight so you could be together while you each do your own thing. he spent his half of his day-off playing games, and during that time, you worked on your research paper and finished an essay that isn’t even due for another week. you took a break every hour, munched on some snacks, and cheered him on while he was diligently playing. perhaps he could’ve done something more productive today, but it couldn’t have made him happier.

he holds out the last slice of gimbap in between chopsticks, lightly poking your lips, and his heart flutters when you offer him a sweet smile after welcoming the big bite with some difficulty, cheeks full and nose scrunched.

“is there anything else you want to eat?”

you shake your head, and unable to speak while chewing, you gesture for water as if you’re playing charades.

a kiss is granted to your forehead.

when he comes back with a bottled water, all your tabs have been closed and you’re wearing your white beret again, re-organizing your belongings in your backpack.

“ready to leave?” he inquires as he hands your order.

you hum as a reply, standing from your seat as you swing the backpack over your head to wear it with little to no effort.

jungkook thinks you’re so cool.

you visit the restroom as he settles the bill. when you come out, he’s already pulling out a credit card from his wallet. you decide to head straight for the door then, wait for him outside as the air inside the room has started to feel a little too stuffy after you stepped away from the computer.

you’ve always thought about it— how time stands still when you experience something traumatic, how that moment feels stretched for eternity… how utterly barbaric that is. you’re forced to memorize frames of the origin of your scars, relive it over and over again, eyes closed and open. moments of happiness, on the other hand, are fleeting. they are sand slipping through the gaps of your fingers. getting out of bed is scooping them in your hands and praying that they will hold on to you in the following rotations and revolutions of the earth. they never do.

there he stood at the bottom of the stairs, just as horrified as you.

his face is the last thing you want to see on a winter night.

because you still recall the amalgamation of emotions in his eyes two winters ago. his skin was flushed from the cold, but he turned redder with anger and your stomach coiled in shame.

“juwon?”

the name felt odd in your mouth. it’s like when you eat a food you haven’t had in a long time, and it doesn’t quite taste like you remember it.

and to be honest, you didn’t know what you expected to happen when he carried on to climb the remaining steps that led to you. but it definitely wasn’t… this.

the first hand to carress your bare body, as if it was in disbelief of its existence, and the rings you used to blindly adore— they collide with your cheek with a sound that resonates in your eardrums.

the slap thins out into a ringing noise.

“are you insane?!”

it continues to assault your hearing even as you scream and hit him back.

it ends when someone bumps against your shoulder in a haste, and the next thing you register is juwon lying on the ground with jungkook sitting on top him, balled fist throwing unforgiving punches at your ex-boyfriend’s face. juwon is held hostage by the shock and is unable to reciprocate jungkook’s aggression. he attempts to fight back but your boyfriend dodges easily.

“jungkook! stop, stop, stop!”

you run down the stairs with panic thundering in your chest, nearly in tears as you forcefully grasp at the back of jungkook’s coat to pull him away, but with his strength and the adrenaline flowing through his veins, your efforts prove to be fruitless.

“you fucking bastard! i’m gonna kill you!”

“that’s enough-” you cry out. “please!”

“how dare you lay a hand on my girlfriend like that, huh?!”

he is furious, gripping the collar of juwon’s sweater and slamming him to the ground.

“your girl?” coughing, juwon faces the side to spit out the blood in his mouth, which then shapes into an arrogant smirk. “didn’t you know? ____ was mine first. i was the first!”

the next punch he receives cuts his lower lip open, and a stronger metallic taste assaults his tongue.

“jungkook!”

before jungkook could inflinct more permanent damage, you resort to holding back his arm with both of your hands.

your gazes connect, and your heart drops to your stomach. he is seething with anger. your blood runs cold and a thick haze clouds your thinking. you can’t move your limbs. what do you do? what do you do? what do you do?

“____, let go. i’m not fucking finished with him.”

“please,” you beg, ignorant of the tears that have begun to slide down your cheeks. “that’s enough. look at him!”

“and why should i care?” he spits out as he shrugs you off.

“ah, jungkook! i said that’s enough! why won’t you listen to me?!”

your desperate tantrum falls on deaf ears. you squeeze your eyes shut when he re-assumes his stance, tucks his thumb over his folded fingers, exactly what he taught you about making a proper fist to avoid injuring one’s self when boxing.

“stop it! you’re scaring me!”

that throws a bucket of ice over jungkook’s head. the anger in his eyes is replaced by vacancy, and with that, juwon seizes the opportunity to finally strike him with a jab and escape from underneath him. jungkook finds himself pushed aside on the ground with a throbbing cheek, mostly likely to be noticeably bruised in the next hours.

“love-” you gasp, and you rush over to him but your path gets rudely obstructed by your ex.

“is this the guy you cheated on me with?”

he is extremely near that you can feel him panting on your face. two years later, your stomach coils in disgust. your glare is venomous, and if only looks could kill, if only looks could kill…

“just leave, won’t you? what’s the point of all this?” you roughly push him away with your remaining shred of energy, driven by exhaustion and frustration. “it was so long ago! get a fucking grip!”

he huffs in disbelief as he wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth. it also drips from his nose and eyebrow. strange enough, you do not feel guilt nor compassion for this man. not anymore.

“are you seriously crying just because he got punched one time…? isn’t that a little unfair? you loved me too. once.” he snickers, but he is visibly pissed off. he can no longer look at you in the eye. “shit, is he that much of a better fuck than me?”

your skin crawls. bile creeps up your throat. technically speaking, this is the consequence of your own actions, but you can’t help but to be resentful.

“you are…” your voice trembles, but your glare remains unwavering. “still as despicable and shallow as ever… and i don’t regret what i did.”

and it may have been a long time ago, but you still know how to hit him where it hurts the most— his ego.

you purposely bump against his shoulder as you make your way to jungkook, leaving him speechless as he stares at the ground. the night the two of you broke up, you were crying and begging him for forgiveness… what the fuck happened?

“let’s go home.” you demand quietly while refusing to meet jungkook’s stare— a mix of confusion, offense, and rage.

but the thing about juwon? he always needs to have the last word.

“you better keep a close eye. you might think you know ____, but whores never change. especially those who became one so young.”

“dude, how are you still speaking?!”

it’s too late when you realize that jungkook has left your side. he swings at juwon’s face with a force that sends the man stumbling backwards. he completely loses balance then collapses on the ground with a curse that almost misses your ears.

“don’t ever go near ____ again! don’t even think of it! if you show your face to me again, i might really end up fucking killing you. you hear me?!”

—

jungkook doesn’t recall a time when he felt a rage this intense and consuming. witnessing you get slapped, his vision went dark and he was shaking with fury. everything was a blur after that, but he knew one thing: this man violated the most precious person to him, and he won’t allow him to get away with that unscathed.

and that must be why he feels restless until now. neither one of you has dared to utter a word for the past couple of minutes. he can’t see your face as you’re walking ahead of him, leading the way with his wrist in your cold hand. however, he can hear your sniffles, and he can see you wiping your tears dry with the back of your hand. he thought he has experienced heartbreak, but this pain cuts deeper than anything he has ever felt.

“baby, let’s go back.”

he breaks the silence, standing infront of you to stop you on your tracks. he almost reeks of desperation as he intertwines your fingers together.

“please? there should be a cctv camera infront. we can sue him.”

“are you even hearing yourself? you’ll also get into trouble!”

his insistence only fuels the urge to cry and scream and break things. it’s an understatement to say that you’re ashamed. it was foolish of you, really, to assume that leaving the past behind would be as easy as forgetting. it may be out of sight but it is everywhere, and it sneaks up on you without tell and mercy.

“you attacked him out of nowhere! he can sue you for that too!”

“out of nowhere?” he repeats your words slowly, hurt flashing across his face. “i was protecting you, ____! who knows what else he could’ve done? and the shit he was talking about you? was i just supposed to stand there and do nothing?”

“and i’m protecting you too! why did you even have to punch him again?! he was obviously just trying to provoke you! god, i-” you release the air in your lungs you didn’t realize you’ve been holding. “thank god he didn’t see your face.”

that struck a nerve for some reason. he harshly rips off the mask that has been concealing half of his face all along.

“he hit you! look- fuck, you’re bleeding-”

oh, his rings must’ve grazed you.

jungkook brings out a clean white handkerchief from the backpocket of his pants, pressing it softly against your cheek. the sharp sting forces you to grit your teeth. it’s not only the wound… your skin is still warm and tender from the assault. you’re terrified to look at the mirror. you don’t want to feel sorry for yourself.

“and that’s what you’re really worried about right now?”

“okay, then i’m sorry for caring about my boyfriend and his career! i’m sorry, okay?!“

he dies a little inside when you harshly push his hand aside.

so this is what it feels like to be at the other end of your anger… shitty. it feels really shitty. after what happened, there is no sadness or fear. the twinkle in your eyes have been replaced with sharp daggers and it is gutwrenching to watch. it clicks for him then: you weren’t scared of him. you were scared for him.

he doesn’t allow you to go further than ten feet away. he seizes your arm before sneaking his hand on your waist to tug you closer to his body.

“you think i’m letting you out of my sight again? it’s not happening!”

you click your tongue in exasperation, left with no choice but to admit defeat as he hails the approaching taxi. you cover your face to hide from the blinding headlights.

ever the gentleman, jungkook opens the door for you.

“get in, ____.”

and the first thought that enters your mind: the air freshener is nauseating. it has to be something mixed with lemon.

you roll the window down as your boyfriend dictates the address of your destination to the taxi driver. not yours, but his. you send him an unimpressed scowl, but he only looks back at you challengingly under the warm dim light. the soft cloth is placed over your wound again, rudely snatched as you turn away from him. you hold it on your own as you watch the world outside the window, streetlamps with blurry light streaks and homes you will never set foot into. in the midst of your musing, you register the weight on your head, or its lack thereof. your beret landed on the ground in the aftermath of the first strike. what is there left to lose?

you thought you could be happy at last, but beside you is another soul you’ve stained with your bloody hands.

juwon was right, you never change.

—

“i still don’t think it’s right that i know the password.” you whisper as you push the door open.

“but i have a key to your house. what’s the difference?”

“i don’t know…” you begin removing your boots, carefully placing each one in the middle level of the shoe rack. “you live with six other people.”

“namjoon-hyung and yoongi-hyung are in their studios. the others went home.”

you enter the living room with jungkook hugging you from behind. his cheek rests on top of your shoulder, and he doesn’t want to let you go. the ride here was suffocating. he thought you wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of the night anymore.

you blink at jimin who is sprawled out on the sofa, a gray blanket that matches his sweatpants is covering his naked torso.

“why does he sleep here? doesn’t he have a bed?”

“the sofa is more comfortable.” he mumbles loud enough for you to hear as he opens his eyes halfway, but then he gives up and closes them again, curling in on himself to resume his slumber.

“okay… now i know what to get you for your birthday.”

for a brief second jungkook assumes that you’re joking, but you sounded way too nonchalant.

“a sofa?”

“a new mattress,” you blankly stare back at him, before proceeding to break free from his embrace to search for the bathroom.

he follows you like a lost puppy, whining. “why does he already have a birthday gift and i don’t?!”

“quiet!”

he winces. “sorry, hyung!”

—

you’re perched in the space between jungkook’s thighs, legs swung over one of them as he tenderly presses a cold compress against your left cheek. you’ve changed into the pair of pink cooky pajamas he wore a few times and has kept in his closet specially for you. sinking into his mattress, drowsiness has also begun to seep into the depths of your bones. it’s been an arduous week, and you’re exhausted of fighting in every sense of the word.

“he deserves more than what he got away with.” he mutters through gritted teeth.

“jungkook, enough.” you chide at him with a sigh. “let’s just forget about this.”

“your face is going to be bruised for atleast a week! how am i supposed to ‘just forget’? are you hearing yourself?”

your rhetoric question from earlier comes back to gnaw at your thread-like sanity. you feel backed into a corner. you can’t think of a solution that will put this issue at rest, much less make either one of you feel better.

“he’s not worth it.”

“you are to me.” he declares.

it’s impossible to argue with that. you want it to stay true. you want him to keep believing in you.

“i’m tired.” you whisper, removing yourself from his lap. “let’s go to sleep.”

he gazes at you with longing.

you are lying on his bed but you have never felt so far away.

“are we really not going to talk about this?”

“not now. i’m tired, jungkook.”

“baby…”

“juwon is a terrible person, but i had it coming…” you mumble. “that’s all there is to it.”

foreboding silence falls upon the bedroom. you can’t bring yourself to look at jungkook, so you close your eyes and pray that when the sun rises, this night will simply turn out to be a nightmare orchestrated by your wicked mind.

“whatever that is, it doesn’t warrant what he did.” he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, and it takes everything in you not to fall apart into a thousand shards. “and i’m sorry that i couldn’t stop it from happening.”

—

jungkook returns after his shower, not yet done with drying his dripping hair with a towel. you’ve drifted off to sleep in the time that he was gone, lips slightly parted open as you breathe out puffs of air in a steady rhythm. your hair is a halo and you’re an angel snoozing on a cloud.

he heard it loud and clear, and you haven’t denied it either, but there’s not a part of him that believes it. is he blindly in love with you? is this what he was warning him about? are you not an angel, but a siren?

wary of waking you up, he attaches a bandaid to your cheek. he flicks the lightswitch but he turns on the night lamp so you won’t have to manuever the dark incase you wake up in the middle of the night in need of the bathroom.

shit, shit, shit. he curses in his head when you begin shuffling as soon as he settles himself on the bed, but it’s just you unknowingly seeking for warmth in your sleep. he gathers you in his arms and your pillow is abandoned in favor of his naked chest. it always feels fitting, like his heart is the stuffed toy that you can’t go without at night.

he swallows the lump in his throat, brushing your hair away from your face to gently caress your soft skin. you look so serene. but your ex’s fingers can be traced on the red bruise that has tainted your cheek and his jaw clenches, hand momentarily balling into a fist to release the leftover anger still boiling in his blood. everyday, you feel the need to act tough because of people like him, and you are… but deep down, he knows, that you just crave to be loved.

“you loved me too. once.”

however, that has lost its meaning when juwon didn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved.

and jungkook admits it’s not as easy for him to do in a whole different dimension. he leads a kind of life not everyone survives, but that never stopped him for trying his damn hardest.

—

you’re awoken in the middle of the night by jungkook’s forehead accidentally knocking against yours. his snoring doesn’t cease, however, and you had to remind yourself that this is the same boy who continued sleeping despite rolling off his inflated sleeping bag on camera.

you slowly sit up as you rub the sleep from your eyes. you spend an unknown amount of time spaced out, barely blinking. afterwards, you force yourself to leave the comfort of the bed, taking the cold compress along with you. you drain the melted ice over the kitchen sink before opening the refrigerator to refill it with ice cubes. you can’t help but to allow your eyes to wander around, which then leads you to contemplate on whether to cook ramen or not… but then again, it’s already 3am and most likely, you won’t be able to sleep again if you do.

“yah! why are doing just standing there?”

the deep voice echoes throughout the kitchen. you yelp in shock, nearly dropping the ice bag as you tap on your pounding chest.

“i told you to stop doing that!”

jimin bursts into a fit of too delighted giggles, hunched over the kitchen counter as he places a hand over his belly. he’s fully clothed this time, fresh from the shower, judging from his hair.

“it’s not funny!” you whine. “one of these days i might be holding a knife when you do that!”

“ey, what would you be holding a knife for? jungkook never lets you lift a finger while you’re here.”

that’s just because he knows you’re not very talented in the kitchen.

the wide smile on his face then fades, expression morphing into one of concern as he studies your face bathed by the refrigerator light.

“what happened to your face?”

fuck, you’ve completely forgotten about that.

“it’s a long story.” you sigh, closing the refrigerator.

“it’s alright. i have all the time in the world to listen.”

“you know that i really appreciate that and i’m grateful but…” your smile borders on a wince. “no, you don’t. get some more sleep, please.”

your unexpected response causes jimin to scratch his head shyly. the two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before laughing at the same time.

“oh, that’s right!” you pause on your tracks when an essential item pops in your mind. “do you have healing ointment? for cuts and bruises and stuff?”

“it’s for jungkook,” you add.

“doesn’t he have that?”

“it’s not here,”

your sweet smile tells jimin everything he needs to know.

“ah, that kid really comes home to different houses now. he’s all grown up.”

“…and how many exactly?” you arch an eyebrow.

he purses his lips together, jokingly pretending to think hard. “the dorm… and then his family… then there’s you?”

“anywhere else?”

“nope!”

“sooo, do you have it or not?”

“i’ll go downstairs and buy it right now.”

he offers you a kind smile and pats on the head. a protest dies down in your throat as he goes straight for the front door.

“thank you!”

“you’re welcome!”

—

despite your active efforts to avoid making any sort of noise, the door produces a small ‘click’ as you cautiously close it behind you. you discover that jungkook has flipped over to face your side, his arm outstretched as if he was reaching out for you. you almost feel bad for leaving him alone in bed, so you sit next to him, positioned on the lower half of the bed since he took up your space.

a short snore escapes him, one that rises then falls so abruptly, like a note on the piano pressed on accident. you cover your mouth to muffle your giggle.

how adorable. you have grown to tolerate, and even adore, his snoring.

stolen kisses on his bruised knuckles, tiny and featherlight, apologetic most of all. their bad condition brought upon by boxing worsened when he used his dominant hand bare, knuckles of his two longest fingers ripped. it seems that he did the bare minimum by putting a stop to the bleeding then washing them clean, then nothing else. he didn’t even tell you, didn’t complain or show any sign that he was in pain.

you hold the cold compress over his bruises, switching between his cheek and knuckles, mindful of not touching the wounds as to not aggravate him in his sleep.

you’ve been stripped down bare— your pride and dignity dismantled into pieces that create a picture of you that you do not like… but could be the love and sincerity in your heart be enough to live by? even if no one is awake to witness it?

you’re saved from drowning in your thoughts by the front door being unlocked. for the second time, you tiptoe your way out of jungkook’s bedroom.

“this is for wounds, and then…” jimin returns the tube inside the paper bag to grab the other. “this one, for bruises.”

“thank you. i’ll pay you back.”

“yah!” jimin expands his eyes threateningly, which you mimic in challenge as you hug the paper bag to your chest. “i’m also your older brother, okay? i should do these things for you.”

you scrunch your nose, to express disagreement at first, but later on it only makes your smile appear brighter.

“doesn’t it hurt you to smile? please use them well too, ____. do you understand? that’s why i bought the biggest ones!”

it does hurt.

“thank you…” you reply shyly.

you’ve forgotten how it feels like to be taken care of by family.

—

“baby, where did you go?”

jungkook’s raspy voice is music to your ears.

he woke up a mere minute ago, caught in the middle of sitting up on the bed once it caught up to his sleep-muddled brain that you’re no longer beside him.

“nowhere,”

you sit at the edge of the bed without another word, putting his hands over your lap to apply the healing cream to his afflictions.

his eyelids flutter in sleepiness as he watches your every movement.

a small dollop at the pad of your finger, transferred over his torn knuckle and smeared with the lightest of touch. occasionally your finger pauses, unsure, calculating— the last thing it wants is to hurt him.

he kisses your lips— he feels suspended in time—hasn’t quite reconnected with reality and with his body. wide-eyed, you seem taken aback by the display of affection. his mouth then softly curves with fondness.

“i love you.”

“i love you, too.” you whisper timidly.

your actions have become hurried, but jungkook is far too drowsy to notice your discomfort.

for the final part, you rub the cream on the bruise on his cheek. you press a kiss on the corner of his lips. “all done. go back to sleep.”

“let’s go,”

he hooks his arm under your knees, eager to carry you over to your side of the bed, but he gets interrupted by your protest.

“wait, wait, wait- i need to pee first.”

“wha- hurry!” he complains with a peeved frown, which you fail to catch a glimpse of because he has squeezed you taut against his body. “i won’t be able to sleep without you here.”

—

eternally cursed with the ability to feel too much of everything.

you push your back against the bathroom door, breathing heavy and labored as you blindly pat around for its lock. the click serves as the cue for your salty tears to drip from the edges of your eyelashes, cascading down, down, down your chin. some of them crash on the collar of your pajama top, the rest on the white tiled floor. this room is a stranger to your shipwreck, but old habits die hard.

the intense pressure of the water collides with the porcelain sink. rain and thunder and the gusts of wind being your gasps for air. an isolated storm undetected in the city of seoul you’re forced to brave alone, on the floor, tucked into yourself to protect the beating sacredness inside your ribcage. the sobs claw their way up your throat rather than soaring like exhales do.

no one has ever raised their hand at you. not even your parents. not even when you broke your grandmother’s precious china, or lost their big paper bills to the wind, or cursed at them for embarrassing you infront of your friends.

you want to be mad and say that juwon deserved what he got. you want to say that you hope his nose is broken. but you don’t know how one is supposed to react when something like that happens. you don’t know if it justifies everything after that. if the roles were reversed and you slapped him, won’t no one bat an eye?

…and you know jungkook has questions you still haven’t figured out how to answer. you know he now has reasons to doubt you. you know in his eyes, you may now be a hypocrite and not the advocate he adored. these days, you don’t really want to be seen as anything less or more than who you are, but you so desperately wish to be someone he is proud to love.

you feel mocked for even daring to dream of it.

“i’m tired, i’m tired, i’m tired.”

incoherent mumbles further stirs the unbridled chaos.

“i’m so sick of this. why… why do bad things keep happening to me?”

you don’t expect an answer but you yearn for some sort of meaning. you don’t mind suffering but you wish it could only be to an extent where you don’t have to fear.

echoes of rumbles and thunder. you’re nearer the sky but farther from heaven.

—

it’s been more than a week. you’ve been waking up with a gaping hole in the middle of your torso. you climb out of bed, cover up your cheek with make-up, good as new, and go about your day as if nothing happened. life on its own is already too much of a burden for you.

jungkook checks up on you everyday, though, despite his busy schedule. mostly through the phone, and whenever he can, he goes straight to where you are after work to dote on you no matter the time. he kisses you on the cheek, claims himself to have healing properties, and says i love you. and during those periods of time you were together, he hasn’t said another word about the incident. and it has been driving you absolutely insane.

you glance down at him, sat on the floor with an ipad balanced on top of his propped up knees, wearing one of your anti-radiation glasses as he finds himself absorbed in drawing the view a foot away from him. you.

“why do you keep looking at me?” he scolds you lightheartedly. “go back to studying so we can go to sleep.”

“can’t help it,” you mumble as you reposition your pen over the paper. you’ve been reorganizing your notes the whole night for your upcoming tests, but your mind keeps flying everywhere else. “my boyfriend’s too pretty.”

“ah, it can’t be helped then. sorry about that.” he smirks cockily, pulling the dramatics by switching his eyes between you and his back. “should… should i turn around then?”

“did you box again?”

the accusation is spat out before you can think twice.

“oh, you did. your knuckles are all messed up again.”

he pouts, crossing his legs. “but baby, i have to train... i wrapped my hands properly!”

“still,” you sigh. “can’t you just let them heal for a little while?”

you turn to the cabinet on your other side to bring out the pouch of healing ointments you’re now suspecting he brought and didn’t accidentally leave behind.

you lay out your hand, and jungkook puts his on top of yours, dragging himself close.

you both smile when you see that he has laid his hands over your thighs like he’s getting a manicure. silly boy. you pull them closer by his fingers so you can reach his red knuckles.

“why are you trying so hard?”

your finger is stained with his blood. your voice is as gentle as your touches, and that’s why it hurts.

jungkook doesn’t know either. he’s been trying to extinguish his leftover anger and bitterness through work and boxing— suppressing the onslaught of negative thoughts threatening to poison what the two of you have. jungkook doesn’t want to know. he doesn’t want anything to change. right now, he can’t afford them to.

“there’s no one to fight.”

“turns out there is,” he argues.

he regrets it as soon as your hand trembles.

“it’s okay… to ask. we’re in a relationship. you’re entitled to know things like that.” your eyes are unafraid again, and it scares him, like you’re always prepared to let him go. “i won’t get offended, or anything like that. if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“i trust you,” he says simply. “so i don’t need to know. especially if talking about it makes you uncomfortable. it’s okay… we’re okay, baby.”

stillness washes over the room like a tide that swallows everything up, and for a moment jungkook is convinced that the two of you will never bring it up again.

but the words you utter next are a punch to the gut.

they almost sound like a plead.

“but i can’t live my life that way, jungkook.”

strands of your hair descend to your face, framing it perfectly, but your eyes become hidden from view. you rip a bandaid open and blanket it over his two knuckles, still wounded as before, if not worse.

“if you intend to be with me for a long time, then i need you to need to know…” because there will be things i’d want to tell you, but wouldn’t feel the need to.

“then tell me,” he replies, prompted by a renewed determination. “i don’t just intend to be with you for a long time. i want way more than that.”

—

jungkook fiddles with the hello kitty bandaid using his thumb, mind reeling and grappling to process the overload of information told by your storytelling voice. all of a sudden, he’s grateful that you decided to lie down on the bed for this conversation.

“juwon was your boyfriend before me, no?”

“no, no, no. he was…” your lips part as if you have something more left to say, but you eventually give up. “yup, no.”

“so you found out that he’s been cheating on you for-for two mo-”

“three-”

“three months, and you…” he blinks. “slept with a stranger and let him catch you?”

“i was really petty. i was seventeen after all… my pride couldn’t take it. my friends- they tried to stop me but… but all i could think of was how to make him feel the way i was feeling.” your voice sounds small, smaller as you squeeze yourself into his side and curl up to hide your face. “so i let him think i was the bad guy.”

he understands that you were vengeful, but he doesn’t know if you comprehend the scale of what you have done.

“he looked so sad and hurt that i started to feel guilty. i don’t know if i was still acting when i was apologizing to him.” you scoff with eyebrows knitted together. “i felt so dirty… i still feel like a bad person, you know?”

you took the face of juwon’s demons and he didn’t like what he saw.

“i had it coming,” — he now has a grasp of what you meant before.

“so how has he been doing this to me for such a long time? how does he stomach it? knowing what i was going through? that’s what i thought… it makes me so upset…”

jungkook doesn’t try to assess you as you speak. he only listens, until your voice cracks. his heart is split into two as tears flood your eyes, escaping past the corners and slipping down to soak the fabric of his t-shirt.

you sniffle. “and the sex wasn’t even that great. i regret it even more.”

he flinches, abruptly squeezing his eyes shut. not that great? okay… okay. the mental image of you being physically intimate with someone that isn’t him definitely doesn’t sicken him to his core. at all. nope, nope, nope.

“fuck, baby, please,” he groans as if he is in pain, putting an arm over his eyes. “hearing about you have sex with other guys is making me want to punch something again. fuck.”

“that’s what you took away from the story?”

“yes!” he exclaims with conviction. “we should’ve met a year earlier. i would’ve let you use me!”

you gasp, scandalized. “oh my god! jungkook!”

“argh-” he animatedly clutches at his chest that caught your fist.

“you’re crazy!”

“uhuh, about you.” he proudly replies, pulling you closer to his side, as if that was still possible.

the subtle upwards of the corners of your lips gives him a sense of relief. he tenderly cups your cheek, his thumb ghosting over the bruise that has turned a darker shade of blue and purple.

“listen to me, i- i’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong. i’m not that type of person. but what i can do tell you is that this…” he briefly shakes his head. “didn’t change the way i see you at all. he hurt you. he cheated and you were hurt, ____.”

your eyes gleam with uncertainty, a fresh wave of tears threatening to escape. “are you sure?”

“of course i am. why wouldn’t i be sure?”

“because you’re crazy about me.”

the sweet innocence of your eyelashes fluttering elicits a chuckle from him. you’re so fucking cute.

“that’s the reason i’m sure.” he tilts up your chin to plant a kiss to your lips, mumbling. “i’ve never been wrong about anything i’m crazy about.”

“thank you,” you say quietly, melting into his embrace. you nuzzle your face against his chest, and at last, you grant your eyes rest. “i can finally sleep peacefully again.”

fuck, it’s been weighing on you this whole time and he didn’t know.

“i’m sorry i only dated assholes before you.”

“aish, why would you be sorry about such a thing?” he kisses the top of your head, gentleness contradicting his following sentence. “i’d crush each one of those assholes for you.”

and he’d beat himself up the worst if he ever becomes one of them.

you yawn, sniffling right after. “mhm, i bet you will.”

he carefully rolls over to the side so he can wrap both arms around you, and you keen in contentment.

“jungkook?”

“yes, baby?” he coos.

“i… really… love you so, so, so much. you are… the one person i’d die for before i hurt.”

goddammit, it’s an angel sleeping in his arms.

“that’s a relief to hear. you’re very smart and scary when you’re mad.”

“eh, jungkook! i swear i’ve grown up! i’m not like that anymore!”

“okay, okay!” he laughs at your childish whining and squirming as he ushers you back in his embrace. “i believe you! i trust you! i love you too!”

—

although you spend more nights together in your apartment for your safety and convenience, in all honesty, you like staying over at jungkook’s more. his smell evokes the sentiment of home, and when you stay long enough, it becomes a temporary part of you. you’re gradually more well-versed in the organized and unorganized corners of his room. you like that you know where he keeps the safety pins and you know to be careful when walking so you won’t trip over his dumbbells he leaves lying around. and it’s a little ridiculous but… you like that his mattress is on the floor and you don’t really know why.

your boyfriend is still blissfully asleep as you climb over him, landing on the floor without a sound like a veteran spy. however, you rush to step out of the room before the rumbling of your empty stomach could wake him up.

“yah, thief! what do you think you’re doing?!”

“fuck!” the pack of ramen hits the floor when your hands fly to your chest to clutch at your painfully pounding heart. “i swear to god, you’re going to kill me one day!”

and unsurprisingly, your chagrin is countered yet again with jimin’s all too pleased laughter.

“____, you look so suspicious! why are you using a flashlight? we have electricity! we can pay for it!”

“i don’t like it too bright, okay?” you grumble as you pick up your supposed midnight meal.

“let’s just turn on this one then.”

“uh-” the objection dies down in your throat when the light over the dining table was switched on.

“i’m hungry, too. grab two more packs of ramyeon, please.”

“who’s the other one for?”

jimin fills the pot with water from the sink while you pick up two more of the same pack from the pantry.

“just us. don’t you agree that one pack is too small for one person?”

“it’s just enough for me though?” you rip open the packs one by one to retrieve the packets of seasonings. “with your job, though, i’d definitely have a bigger appetite.”

“alright,” he pouts, pretending to be upset. “let’s have just two then.”

“no, no, no-” you chase his hand, tightly gripping the last pack that he stole. “let’s have three! let’s have three! i didn’t eat dinner!”

—

“my mom brought a lot of kimchi yesterday. there’s an entire box in the fridge. i’ll pack you some before you leave later.”

“put some more in,” you say cutely as you peer down at the pot of ramen beside jimin. “please?”

he chuckles, adhering to your request before handing the container to you.

“thank you!”

you hop on the counter infront of the stove, chewing on a mouthful of kimchi with a joy akin to a child receiving a sweet treat. leaving the ramen to cook for the next five minutes, jimin sits a few feet away.

“aigoo, are you that hungry?”

“this is so delicious!” you praise his mother’s cooking instead of answering the question. “i can really eat this on its own.”

“ey, don’t fill yourself up yet! we have a lot of ramyeon to eat!”

“sorry, sorry!”

your giggles fill the apartment with warmth during this freezing winter. jimin didn’t doubt it when jungkook said that you light up every room you enter, he just didn’t expect that he would also gain a friend.

“how’s your cheek?”

“as you can see,” you motion at your face. “yellow. soooo… uglier.”

“that means it’s healing well.”

“i know,” the apples of your cheek become plump as your lips curve. “it no longer hurts to smile.”

“that’s a relief to hear,” he returns your kind smile. “jungkook has been worried about you.”

that’s the end of what he can tell you. jungkook won’t be pleased if you learn that he cried when he talked about the horrible thing that happened to you.

“thank you,”

“huh? for what?”

“being jungkook’s happiness.”

from his peripheral vision, he perceives your surprise. however, he is too flustered to meet your eyes while he is speaking from the bottom of his heart.

“the past year was physically and mentally draining for the team. as you know, we… we were considering giving up and disbanding. and of course it’s hard on all of us, but i’m really, really worried about jungkook. but!”

he chuckles at the dramatic rise of his own voice.

“i’m less worried now that you’re in his life. and i’m not saying this to put pressure on you or anything! but you see, when he’s tired, he bounces back quickly because of you. he’s smiling more because of you. and i know it goes it also goes the other way around. mhmm… i-i guess what i’m saying is that i hope you can continue being each other’s strength? be each other’s cheerleader?”

you have begun to feel emotional as you listened to his sincere and heartwarming words, but you can’t help but to cackle at the fact that you just witnessed the park jimin say the word ‘cheerleader’ while daintily waving his hands around as they were holding pompoms. how awfully endearing.

“…or something like that.”

uncontrollable giggles vibrate his body, dramatically slipping down the counter and onto the tiled floor to enshroud himself in extreme sheepishness.

“ah, ____! this is driving me crazy! don’t laugh!”

“what are you doing lying on the floor?” you playfully scold him, recording with your phone in secret. “why do i suddenly feel like the older one?”

“what’s with the noise?”

you whip your head around, wide curious eyes greeted with a shirtless jungkook who is still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“is that ramyeon…? i want some too.”

jimin groans when he feels your foot poke him lightly.

“mister, can we add more? my googie is hungry too.”

—

“hyung, ____ told me something recently that really put a lot of things into perspective.”

and with that, jimin pours another bottle of beer in his and jungkook’s ice-filled mugs. “let me hear it.”

“if you intend to be with me for a long time, then i need you to need to know. at first i didn’t understand what it meant? then after we talked, something clicked for me. ahhh, i see it now. ____ didn’t want us to trust each other blindly… because that… that isn’t a good… foundation? for something that i want to last for a very long time. you, me, the members… don’t we all trust each other because we know that we’re good people to our core and we’re good at what we do? isn’t that why we have come this far, and why we keep going? besides army, of course!”

jimin blinks lazily, glossy eyes from the alcohol underneath it all. “that’s right. we wouldn’t have started this anyway… without that kind of trust. i don’t think it’s a connection you can just build with anyone too.”

“oh, that’s it. that’s right!”

“living together for a long time doesn’t guarantee it.”

“exactly.” jungkook nods repeatedly, probably too passionately, a guaranteed ticket for a hangover later on. “we talked about that last time too.”

“right? so we should protect it… maintain it… never lose sight of our purpose…”

the lack of words that follow does not equate to silence. glasses clink against each other and teeth rip bags of chips open and noodles are slurped. they’re overseas and they can’t go to a korean restaurant and grill their own meat. the hotel steak would take forever to arrive and quite frankly, they had it yesterday and it was not good. this is not exactly ideal, but it has its own charm.

jungkook takes another swig of the bittersweet alcohol, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand afterwards.

“____ has become an important part of my life that i would do anything to protect too. how do i say it…?” he exhales to relieve the heavy weight on his chest. “i feel like i gained more purpose in life, hyung… to be honest, i might have a harder time because of that. i know it but… i’m happy. seriously, i’m happy.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook one shot #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook smut

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g-xix · 5 months

Text

Chaos Crew MASTERLIST

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ: ᴀʀᴛʜᴜʀᴛᴠ, ɢᴇᴏʀɢᴇ ᴄʟᴀʀᴋᴇʏ, ᴀʀᴛʜᴜʀ ʜɪʟʟ, ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴍᴅ, ᴀʟᴇx ᴇʟᴍꜱʟɪᴇ, ᴄᴀᴍ ᴋɪʀᴋʜᴀᴍ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛᴀʟɪᴀɴʙᴀᴄʜ!

☁️= fluff, 🔞= smut, 💢 = angst

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! Send litr anything in thru the inbox n i'll write it (or not)... No promises it'll be done any time soon tho :DD

Arthur ATV Frederick

☁️"Pub golf forfeit" - Chippo catches wind of your little YouTube crush on ArthurTV and decides to put you in a team with him to try and set you up- but when Harry, Chris and the rest of the boys do their best to embarrass you in front of your crush, how will the night really end as you fight the cameras, pints and awful pub gold forfeit cards... | ChrisMD half-sister!OC x ATV 💢☁️"Caught" - Months of sneaking around behind your brother's back with his best friend gets exposed as you and Arthur get a bit too careless and get yourselves CAUGHT... 🔞"Submissive" - pwp (porn w/out plot), desperate, whiny, sub!Arthur x dom!reader ☁️Head Scritches" - Short 800 word blurb of Arthur just kinda realising that he likes the feeling of your hands between his hair a lot. 🔞"Locked In" - Xtra long 7.3k word smutshot set in S3 locked in house. Y/n is set the strenuous task of ignoring Arthur all day by Sugarlips - yet when Arthur realises this, he does everything in his power to break her... Will you successfully pass your challenge or succumb to Arthur's antics? 🔞"Eating Out HC's" - headcanons of what the Chaos crew would be like giving head ☁️"Return from Sri Lanka" -inspired by Chip's Sri Lanka vids w ATV, a hyper-fluff oneshot of what it's like for gf!reader, seeing Arthur after a whole week of being apart "Harry Potter x Chaos Crew HC's" - what these goofies would be like in a Harry Potter/Hogwarts Alternate Universe ✨

Chris Chrismd Dixon

🔞"ChrisMD NSFW alphabet" 🔞"Threesome" - W2s x reader x ChrisMD in a post-pub drunken mess of horny brains and hard cocks 🔞"Eating Out HC's" - headcanons of what the Chaos crew would be like giving head 🔞"Piercings" - in which gf!reader gets nipple piercings as a surprise for Chris, which leaves Chris battling his inner demons and resisting all urges to pull or touch those sensitive buds to see you scream whilst he pounds you | part of [KINKTOBER] "Harry Potter x Chaos Crew HC's" - what these goofies would be like in a Harry Potter/Hogwarts Alternate Universe ✨

Alex Imallexx Elmslie

🔞"Eating Out HC's" - headcanons of what the Chaos crew would be like giving head

Cam Kirkham

<tbc!>

Arthur Hill

🔞"Eating Out HC's" - headcanons of what the Chaos crew would be like giving head "Harry Potter x Chaos Crew HC's" - what these goofies would be like in a Harry Potter/Hogwarts Alternate Universe ✨

George Clarkey

🔞"Rodeo Ride" - Something about George riding that bull machine at the pub just looks so sinful, and the alcohol gives you an extra buzz of confidence when you're talking to him afterwards, leading to a good night with George...

☁️"Nights out" - Just a plain, fluffy cuddles n kisses style oneshot reflecting on what it'd be like when George came home after a night out- a huggy, touchy drunk bf ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

☁️"Christmas Imagines" - A note-form story of getting Christmas decorations out and celebrating alongside boyfriend!George... V fluffy and wholesome :)

☁️ "Snow!" - Friends to lovers, featuring ATV, ChrisMD, WillNE, Mia, Immallexx, Alice, Cam n Chloe all celebrating in the apartment when the snow starts covering the London streets which they race down to play in. Super fluffy G Clarkey x y/n festive Winter vibes

Isaac ItalianBach Smith

<tbc!>

ALL!! - silly little drabbles "Chaos Crew as lawyers" "Chaos Crew on a Roadtrip" "Chaos Crew Cooking" Cutesy lil platform roulette moments (1),(2),(3)

looking for someone you can't find? Head back to the main masterlist to check out the other masterlists to see if the person you're looking for is there! Don't be scared to send a message via DMs or thru the inbox if you need any help xx

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#arthurtv #atv #arthur frederick #arthurtv x reader #george clarkey #george clarkey x reader #george clarke #g clarkey #cam kirkham #immallexx #arthur hill #alex elmslie #chris dixon #chrismd #christopher dixon #commentary crew

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pitconfirmbutton · 1 year

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petals and peaches (II) | lance stroll

lance stroll x reader

wc: 7261 words

warnings: controlling relationship (not an f1 driver, oc), physical abuse, emotional abuse, eating disorder/not eating, smoking, SMUT, estie being the comedic relief

wildflowers and fruits (part i)

petals and peaches (part ii)

summer roses and winter strawberries (part iii)

carnations and clementines (part iv)

____________________________________________________

He couldn’t breathe. In less than 5 hours, Lance had gone from hopeful to hopeless. He had left the venue, storming off to the lift with Mick and Charles, before a taxi ride in silence back to the hotel. His friends were trying to comfort him despite their own shock and sadness regarding your engagement. Pierre had even noticed a tear escape from Lando’s eye, his face mirroring that of a young child finding out about their parent’s divorce, confusion, anger and sadness all present as he questioned everything he had thought to be true in the world.

Lance had gone straight to his hotel room, ignoring his father’s calls, shoving his clothing and toiletries into his suitcase, not bothering to fold them. As he zipped it up, squashing it closed with his arm, his phone began to ring again. He went to hang up for a fifth time, not wanting to talk to his father, angry at him for the hand he had to play in this, starting the butterfly effect that lead to you being trapped with Harry. Lance could live with you not choosing him, it would hurt and he knew he would never move on, but he would survive. But you with Harry, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to make it through this, knowing you were in trouble.

Looking down at his phone, he was met with a picture of his sister, holding tightly to Daisy in her arms, pulling a funny face, Chloe’s name across the top of the screen.

“Hey, Chlo” Lance muttered. He assumed she had heard from someone what had happened, why else would she be calling him when she knew it was 3 am in Singapore?

“Hey Lance, I heard what happened. I am so sorry.” Chloe was the first person Lance had ever told about his infatuation towards you, sitting with his sister in an Italian restaurant after the third round of the F4 season, describing the kind-hearted, speed demon that was his teammate.

“What am I going to do, Chloe? I have nothing left, I truly lost my chance.” Lance had finally let himself utter his new reality, one where you never ended up as his, not his best friend, not his partner, not his wife one day.

“I know you don’t want to talk to Dad, I understand but he has a jet for you to go wherever you want before Suzuka. I would take it if I were you, escape and clear your head for a bit.” Chloe hoped her brother would take it and allow himself a tiny part of the joy he fully deserved.

“Ok. I’m coming home, Chlo. I miss you and Monaco right now. I need a Daisy hug too I think.” The siblings both chuckled at that, Lance allowing himself to smile, even just for a second.

“She is here actually, let me FaceTime you.” With that Lance’s screen changed, and a bright, smiling face with tiny little teeth appeared before him. “Say hi Uncle Lancey.” Chloe cooed to her daughter, as she gurgled and babbled as she reached for the screen showing Lance’s face.

“Cute little suit there Daisy, a good number too.” His niece in an Aston Martin green onesie with a big ‘18’ on the front. “She watched your whole race, Scotty did too. He is off training now though. But we are all so proud of you.”

“I am going to head to the airport, I will see you all soon.” Lance waved goodbye, putting on his best happy disguise for the little girl and hanging up.

He sighed as he stood from the bed, looking over the notifications he received throughout the duration of the call before his eyes fell on an important-looking email.

Lance swiped more tears from his eyes, turned his phone off, threw on his sweater, pulled the hood over his head and headed for the airport, avoiding the paparazzi that were lurking around, attempting to see the newly engaged couple.

---

“You were such a good girl for me tonight, it looks like you finally learnt how to behave, hmmm?” Harry was towering over you as you lay on the bed beneath him, dress and heels still on from the event prior. Your makeup, however, had travelled down your face, staining as it went, washed by your tears. “You really didn’t think this was ending, did you? Me being engaged to the only female Formula 1 driver is the best business move I ever made. You are going to make me rich, sweetheart.” He whispered in your ear, kissing your cheek with force. Maybe it was the fact that you had been given a few too many celebratory glasses of champagne or because at that moment you were at rock bottom, but you bit back. “I thought you were already rich, isn’t that the point of a sponsor, you give me money, not the other way around?” You raised your eyebrow at him, feeling slightly more powerful than you had in a while before a sharp sting spread across your cheek.

“Don’t you fucking dare! Remember what happens when you get too cocky? You don’t want little Lance losing his-” Both of your heads jerked towards the hotel door, a knock echoing through the suite. “Clean your face up, I will answer it” With that Harry pulled himself off you and headed to the door, not bothering to fix his hair or tie, hoping the person knocking might get the hint and leave.

“Ah! Sebastian, Mrs Vettel! What a pleasant surprise!” Harry was a bit awe-struck standing in front of a 4-time world champion and F1 legend. “We just thought we would come around to celebrate our little one’s engagement,” Hanna said cheerily, however, her hand trembled within her husband’s grasp, fear soaking over them at the plan they had come up with. “She is like a daughter to me so it felt only right that I come and size up her partner, you know?” Seb clapped him on the shoulder, chuckling at the threat he had disguised as a joke. “I mean, it’s not just me, she has about 7 world champions that would make sure you never hurt her, HAHAHAHA!” Seb’s laugh was over the top and he was using all his energy to relax his jaw and look jovial. Harry chuckled back, trying his best not to show how the words rattled him.

“There she is!” Hanna said loudly, pulling you into a hug, hands clutching to you tighter than they ever had before. “Hey, sweetheart!” It was Seb’s turn to pull you into his arms and it took everything in both of you not to burst into tears again. “What are you guys doing here?” You asked, panic and happiness radiating through you. “Well, we have a little present for you, as part of your engagement.” Seb looked at Hanna. “I have planned a little girl's trip to Nice for us. I had a look and the wedding dress shops there are phenomenal and I know you always said you wanted me to be there when you got your dress.” You quirked your eyebrow slightly. You’d never once said that, in fact, the idea of wedding dress shopping stressed you out, but you knew what was happening. Your heart fluttered at the fact that they hadn’t given up on you, that they knew you didn’t want this.

“Oh my goodness, Hanna, you didn’t need to do that! I am so excited! How amazing is that, Harry?” You turned to him, the presence of the Vettels once again filling you with more confidence. “Oh, but that means I wouldn’t be with you. I don’t know if I could do that.” Harry half-joked, trying to signal with his eyes that he was unhappy with it. “Nonsense Harry, you and Peaches will have your whole lives to be together. Take it from a married man, you will regret not taking the peace and quiet while you can.” Seb chuckled in order to stop himself from throwing up, the misogynistic joke tasting like cough syrup in his throat, but he knew his target audience well. “Ok, but only for a few days,” Harry said, sighing.

“We’ll wait here, Blossom, go and grab your luggage, I even got us a private jet,” Seb explained, resting against the doorframe, allowing him to see into the bedroom where your bags would be. You quickly threw everything in, watching as Harry silently stalked you around the room, trying to find an area where Seb couldn’t see him but it was no luck. “I will see you later, honey!” You gave Harry a kiss on the cheek while Seb grabbed your bags and off you went, the Vettels flanking you as you walked down the hallway.

---

You had passed out from exhaustion as soon as you got on the plane, your body realising that you were finally safe and making up for the 3 months of lost sleep. When you awoke, a warm glow was coming through a curtain and your body was wrapped in a fluffy duvet. You shot up, not knowing where you were, your survival instinct kicking in. You froze, listening as you heard voices softly chatting in another room. You hopped out of the bed, making your way to the mirror, your make-up was off, no doubt thanks to Hanna and you had been put into your pyjamas, a pair of long pink polka dot pants and an old Schumacher championship shirt. Your eye was looking rather purple but you didn’t care right now.

As you opened the bedroom door, following the voices, you were greeted with a pleasant surprise. Walking into the living area you were met with your loved ones. Seb and Hanna were in the kitchen, cutting up some cheese and placing crackers on a board. Mick was attempting to help but was being shooed away by the Vettels who were telling him to relax. Charles and Pierre were sitting on the couch playing Xbox, trying to smack-talk each other. Esteban and Lando were watching, standing behind the couch, telling the boys to ‘go to that one’, ‘shoot it, shoot it!’. You looked over to the balcony, the door was open, letting the beige linen curtain dance in the wind. As it moved you could see Lance, leaning against the railing, staring out at what you recognised as the Yacht Club of Monaco. Well, this wasn’t Nice.

“This is definitely not Nice, Hanna.” Everyone in the room turned to you, smiles dropping as they took in the purple spot around your left eye. “Good morning!” Seb wrapped his arms around you, holding you longer than he ever had. “How are you feeling?” He asked, holding you at arm’s length, looking you over, trying to pay as little attention as possible to the bruises forming on your skin. “I feel the best I have in a long time, thank you.” You smiled warmly, looking up at him.

“You slept for like, 18 hours straight, ma marguerite,” Charles said, pulling you from Seb into a hug. You could feel his body relax as he held you and you realised how worried your friends were for you. “I think we all should talk,” you said. “Can I make us all some tea first though?” you asked, knowing that the favour wouldn’t make up for the shit show that was abandoning them all but nevertheless felt like a start.

After everyone had flowed into the dining room, finding a seat at the long table, you got to work putting the kettle to boil. As you moved around, grabbing tea bags and sugar, you heard footsteps. Spinning around, you were face to face with Lance who was leaning on the kitchen counter. “I like your shirt,” he said, pointing and chuckling. You looked down at it while attempting to smooth the creases. “Thanks, me too” you chuckled back. All you could do was stare at him, he was wearing a pair of grey tracksuit pants and a white t-shirt and with the glow of the Monaco sunshine behind him, he looked like an angel. He was an angel, a guardian angel that you just might let save you this time around.

“Would you like to, um, maybe have dinner with me tonight? Like just the two of us?” Lance scratched the back of his neck, looking down at the countertop. You felt your facial muscles instinctively lift. “I would love that but considering Harry doesn’t know I am in Monaco I don’t think getting spotted by the fans or the media is the best idea”. You genuinely wanted to say yes, sit across from him under candlelight while you both quietly whispered imaginary stories about passers-by to each other, just like you used to, his hand perched on your knee, rubbing calm circles with his thumb.

“Well you’re in luck, my mother always insisted I knew how to cook homemade pasta in case I ever needed to impress a pretty girl and it seems today is the day.” It was hard for you to ignore the way your cheeks heated, a feeling you had missed. “You have yourself a deal, 18” and with that, you extended your hand across the counter to shake his jokingly.

---

“Je m'en fous, Charles ! Je vais le tuer. Couper la conduite de frein de sa voiture ou tenir sa tête sous l'eau de cette fontaine stupide et odieuse chez lui.” (I don't care, Charles! I am going to kill him. Cut the brake line on his car or hold his head under the water of that stupid, obnoxious fountain at his house.) Pierre had stood from his seat at the table, having enough of Charles trying to calm him down. “Ich kann das nicht glauben, Hanna.” (I cannot believe this, Hanna) Seb was at a loss, feeling as if he might throw up any moment.

“Guys! English, please. I can’t understand you at all.” You were shaking from your explanation. You knew telling them would hurt more than living the last 3 months of your life. While everyone continued to discuss and process the revelation, you felt a hand appear on your knee, a soft squeeze and circles being traced upon your pyjama pants. You looked up to see Lance, who was looking across the table at Mick and discussing a plan of action.

A sense of nostalgia flooded over you and at that moment you felt like you were all younger again, back in the junior categories, sitting around a large table on race weekends, the novelty of travelling not yet lost on you all as you played card games, drank soda and stayed up later than you should after races, every weekend feeling much like a sleepover. It felt nostalgic because you knew that you had looked at Lance like this at age 14 and here you were, 10 years later, still looking at him with the same sense of admiration and love. Unbeknownst to you, Seb and Hanna had stopped to watch, allowing the view of young love to wash away their sadness for a second. No one in the room, well except for Mick and Esteban who had sworn to secrecy, knew still about your relationship that was ripped away from you. But the Vettels knew young love, they had also met at 14 and recognised the glances from themselves years prior.

“I don’t know if I am even allowed to speak about this,” Lance started, the rest of the room dropping silent and turning to him, subconsciously understanding the importance of his words. “My father mentioned that something was happening behind closed doors in regard to Harry. I don’t have any more details than that but it sounded bad for him. Maybe we should wait and see what he says. Can you wait? Will you be alright?” Lance shifted his gaze from the group to look down at you sitting next to him.

You were terrified, and the idea of having to go back to Harry scared you but the look in Lance’s eyes told you that he wasn’t letting you get away so easily this time. “As long as you all save me before October 15, I can wait.” You smiled at Lance before extending that smile to everyone. “Did you have any control over the guest list?” Esteban muttered, again focusing on a rather unnecessary topic. You shook your head, thinking back to how he selected who should be there. The only reason Lance got an invite was because of the sponsorship. “Ok good. Because I didn’t even get invited.” You laughed, a full-bellied, closed-eyes laugh at his response. You weren’t sure why, it wasn’t that funny but it felt good to be around everyone and the laughter felt like sunshine surrounding you.

You all chatted for a while before people started to excuse themselves, promising to be back tomorrow around lunch. It was Mick, Lance and yourself who were left before Mick was standing up and hugged you goodbye. “Is this your place?” You were surprised, you had assumed it was a hotel or the Vettels. You knew it wasn’t Scotty and Chloe’s place where you and Lance usually stayed when you visited Monaco. He finally got his apartment here, it made you smile.

“Penne Alla Vodka still your favourite?” He glanced at you from the pantry. Your coy smile returned again knowing that he remembered your favourite pasta. He smiled back and nodded, taking your smile as an answer. “Can I help with anything?” You felt a bit useless just sitting at the kitchen counter watching him cook for you.

“Actually yes you can. I have a little wine cellar cupboard down the hallway, can you go and grab one you like for me, please?” Lance smirked at you, knowing that the task he gave you wasn’t at all strenuous or helpful in making the pasta. You sighed and shook your head before standing up and walking down a hallway you hadn’t seen until now.

As you left the kitchen, you saw that the hallway was lined with photo frames. As you walked, you paid close attention to them.

Lance sitting on the tyre of his Williams car before his first season in Formula 1.

Lance winning his first race in karting, his Tony Kart suit swamping him.

Scotty, Chloe, Lawrence, Claire-Anne and Lance together at his sister’s wedding.

Yourself and Lance at your first FIA gala, leaning into each other at the table, toothy grins on your faces and silly peace signs being shown.

Lance, Esteban, Mick, Callum, Marcus and yourself sitting around a table playing Uno at a Ferrari Driver Academy training camp.

Little Daisy, his niece and your god-daughter, falling asleep in his arms the first time he met her, you sitting on the back of the couch, looking at them in awe.

You stopped at a picture right before the wine cellar, the butterflies erupting inside you. It was a picture of mostly the Canadian snowscape, pine trees and snowy mountains but in the corner, you were decked out in a snow jacket, boots, beanie and gloves. It took you a moment to place it but you remembered that trip for your 17th birthday. Lance had taken you to Canada and you had stayed in a quaint cabin. You had both drunk way too much wine and ended up in Lance’s bed together, confessions of love spilling out of your lips as you shared your first time with each other. It ended in both of you agreeing that it would be too complicated to date a fellow driver and so you both squished your feelings down low, dating other people. The picture held a weird sense of youthful excitement and a sense of sadness at what could have been if you had decided to get together then.

“Etno Rossa?” You questioned, holding up the bottle to Lance who was stirring the pasta on the stove. “God you are good. Perfect!” He took the bottle, opened it and poured a rather large glass for each of you. You weren’t going to complain, in fact, you thought you both deserved it.

You had sat at the table, eating pasta and drinking wine. Lance was scared that things might feel weird or different, but they didn’t and he was thankful. Thankful that you hadn’t become a person he didn’t recognise. Thankful that Harry hadn’t taken away everything that was pure and good in your heart and soul. “I am going to get us another bottle” Lance had said, quickly getting up and almost sprinting down the hall, not wanting to be away from you for a second longer. He came running back, sliding along the wood floors, bottle in hand with a focused look on his face, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he drifted along. You laughed and clapped for him, impressed that he stuck his landing as he poured some more for you.

After 2 bottles of wine between you, you were both ready for bed. “Do you mind if I have a shower?” Lance gulped, trying to keep the image out of his head out of respect. “Of course, Petal. It is this door here, there are towels in there. If you need anything though, this is my room here” he said, pointing down the main hallway to the left. “Thank you so much, goodnight Lance.” You propped yourself on your tippy toes and wrapped your arms around his neck for a hug. He held you back and you knew neither of you wanted to move. You pulled away first, muttering a goodnight before heading into the bathroom.

As the warm water fell over your face, you thought about Lance. You thought about how you had never gotten the chance to say sorry for breaking up with him via a letter in his driver’s room. An envelope addressed to him with a kiss of your red lipstick on it, containing your short letter of how you had to leave him, confessing that he was too good for you and he would be better off without you. You hadn’t lied but you knew he was heartbroken.

Drying yourself off, you put on a fresh pair of pyjamas you had found in your bag while hyping yourself up to apologise. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to say sorry to him, apologise a million times for the way he got roped into all this but apologising meant that he had the chance to say it was for the best or that he didn’t want you again. It felt all too real now.

Lance jumped out of bed at the knock on his door, his heart racing that you might not be ok. Seb had warned him that you may experience nightmares or have trouble sleeping, a common side-effect of the situation you'd been placed in.

“Are you alright?” he said as soon as the door flung open, making you jump slightly in place. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He mentally smacked himself. “Yeah, I uh, I actually just wanted to apologise to you, Lance.” Your eyes met the floor, unable to look at him. “No, that's ok, you don’t have to.”

“No, but I do. I left you with a note that didn’t even explain what was going on and then you had to see me turn up to the next race with Harry of all people by my side. You were never once rude to me, you defended me still to the media and you looked out for me. That was so sweet of you and I owe you an apology. I am so sorry Lance. I didn’t want to do it. I never did.” He studied your face, an apologetic smile on his.

“Can I ask you something?” He was nervous again. “Of course, anything.”

“Why did you do it? I mean obviously, he is a controlling…” He let out a sigh to calm himself. “He is an awful person but why did you decide to date him, why didn’t you try and tell someone? I am not blaming you, I never could, but I just need to know.” He grabbed your hands in his to hold them gently. “He threatened that you’d lose your seat, he said he has control over the team lineup next year and he knew that you were my biggest weakness. I had to protect you.” Your voice cracked at the end and your hands broke from his to wipe at your eyes quickly.

When you looked back up at him, he was smiling softly, studying your face. His eyes flicked down to your lips and back up again. Before you both could think about it, his hands were on your waist, pulling you into his chest and your arms were wrapped around his neck, your lips meeting in the middle.

Despite the haste to connect to each other, the kiss was slow and passionate, Lance bringing a hand up to hold your jaw softly. You thought for a second about the fact that you had a fiance and that he wasn’t the man you were kissing right now but you felt no guilt. The man you were kissing right at this moment was who you had always loved and who you wanted to marry one day instead.

You both broke apart with a gasp, filling your lungs with the oxygen they had been missing, resting your foreheads together. Lance chuckled to himself, unable to believe that he had you in his arms again. “God, I have missed you,” he said softly into your ear as he kissed your neck softly over and over again. “Lance, I have thought about this every day, dreaming that I would get to do this again.”

You let your head fall back, exposing more of your neck to him, a soft moan escaping from your lips as he found the spot he knew you liked. Lance groaned back, hearing the sweet sound he was able to elicit from you. “Jump” was all he said and you did just that. He carried you over to his bed, laying you down gently before almost taking a step back to take you in.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” You grabbed his hand pulling him back onto you, his hands catching him on either side of your head as he lay over you, careful to put no wait on your healing body.

Your lips locked again but this time you both weren’t taking it slow. Lance softly bit down on your lip, a moan parting your lips for his tongue. You held onto his cheeks, wanting to feel as much of him at once.

His kisses trailed down your face to your neck. Lance had always been happy to pepper your skin in soft love bites but you could sense his concern now, not wishing to purple anymore of your skin, being gentle with you.

Your hands found the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head, quickly breaking your kiss before throwing it to the side. It was your turn to be on top, you thought, quickly flipping you both over so that you were straddling him now.

“I forget how strong you are sometimes.” Lance let his hands rest on your hips as you ducked down to repay the favour, kissing and sucking the skin along his neck before dipping to run kisses down his sternum and abs. You could feel the muscle contract under you as you went and you felt your core heat at the feeling. You sat up again and looked at Lance, his breath heavy. His hands danced at your shirt hem, silently asking permission. You nodded.

“My god, you are so fucking gorgeous.” His hands travelled up and down your sides and he found himself mesmerized by you, the moonlight making you glow. “Can I… can I touch you, ma fleur? I want to make you feel good.” “Please, please touch me, Lance.” It had been three months since you had been pleasured and while Harry fucked you nearly every night, you couldn’t remember the last time you had your own release or even felt any joy while in bed.

“Lay back and let me take care of you.”

Lance trailed down your chest, kissing and sucking each breast as he went. You were unable to hold yourself together any longer, a string of moans leaving your mouth, your fingers tangled in his long hair as his tongue flicked over your nipple.

“You’re so sensitive to my touch, angel. So good.” The praise was new for you again and it went straight to your pussy. “I want to taste you, Mon Ange.” Lance was kneeling on the floor in between your legs and just the sight alone made you see stars.

“Please, I need your mouth on me, Lance.” He moaned back, making short work of your pyjama pants. As you lay there, finally naked again in front of Lance, your cheeks began to heat and the embarrassment of how your body looked now overtook you. Lance noticed you close in on yourself and was right back up beside your face before you could blink.

“Hey, hey. Are you ok? Do you want me to stop? We can stop right now, at any time, I promise.” He cooed softly to you, wiping some strands of hair away from the sweat that had started to form on your face from the weather and from the way Lance had been kissing you.

“No, I don’t want to. I Just… I know I look different and I’m sorry.” You looked up into his eyes, an apologetic smile on your face. You couldn’t deny it, the way your collarbones now protruded from your skin and your hips had lost their fullness, you were a complete 180 to how Lance had seen you on your last final night together.

“Hey Petal, that is ok that you look different. You have been through so much and with that your body has changed. However, I have never looked at you once in 10 years and thought that you looked anything other than breathtaking, even now.” His words moved you and you grabbed his jaw, showing him the importance of his words through a scorching kiss. “Thank you.”

Lance trailed back down your body before hooking your legs over his shoulders, kissing your inner thighs up to where you needed him the most. Before you could even beg, his tongue was on you, soft kitten licks making you inhale sharply, throwing your head back against the pillow.

“You taste like heaven,” was all Lance muttered as he continued to fuck his tongue into you, his nose rubbing over your clit, evoking growing moans from you. Lance was eating you like a starved man and you guessed that in a way you both were starved from this. Looking down at him, you made eye contact and just the look in his eyes made you nearly unravel right there. He had made you a mess, as he always had but there was no lust inside you. When you looked at him, butterflies erupted in the very pit of your stomach and all you could do was breathe his name out.

“I want you to say my name like that again. Please.” His cool breath against you was all you needed to say it again, the word repeatedly tumbling louder and louder from your mouth as he brought you closer. “That’s it, good girl. You sound like a dream. Come for me. Want to see you cum.” Lance was as breathless as you and you knew you were so close. His hands gripped onto your hips tighter but never hurt you, he would never hurt you.

“Oh my god, Lance, I’m… I am going to come,” was all you could get out in between your flurry of moans and whimpers. “I’ve got you, let go.” And that was all it took. With that, your head dug into the mattress, your eyes rolled back and Lance grabbed our right hand, thumbing small circles on it as you came. H helped you ride your orgasm, soft licks to you before you were squirming.

Lance came back to lie beside you, stroking your hair and kissing your lips softly. “I don’t think I can ever get over you, Princesse,” he said, smiling down at you, his stubble and lips glowing under the moonlight and it made your core begin to tighten again. “That was amazing, thank you so much.” With that you sat up, dropping to your knees in front of Lance.

He chuckled and for a second, your heart sank, had you gotten it all wrong? He didn’t actually want you? He saw your face drop and he reached down, two fingers pushing your chin up to look at him. “We can worry about me later. It’s all about you right now.” Your smile returned before he pulled you up, lying you back down again.

You watched as he stripped his pants off, finally matching your level of undress. You had to stare, you didn’t know when you’d get to see this again and you didn’t want to take any chances. He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but he was substantially taller than you. You used to tease him when you first met as you were just taller than him back then but he caught up and surpassed you quickly. He had let his hair grow out a bit more this season and it reminded you of watching him race in 2020, a pastel pink suit and luscious hair as he stood on the podium twice that year, you watching him from below, Prema shirt adorning your body.

He was ripped, there was no denying it. You all had to be, it came with the job but it was an added perk. His skin was not as tan as you remembered it but we all hadn’t been getting to sunny destinations as much as the season grew closer to Abu Dhabi.

“Lift your hips up for me, mon amour.” His request pulled you from your thoughts and you complied, feeling one of his silk pillows come to support you. “Are you ready?” and you nodded, pulling him down to kiss you again.

“You tell me if you want to stop at any time and we do ok? No questions asked.” He kissed your jaw as he whispered in your ear. You nodded again, already feeling too dazed to answer.

Lance lined himself up with your slip, his lip between his teeth as he tried to compose himself. He was slow and gentle despite the way he looked like he needed all of you at once. “Merde” was all he hissed as he bottomed out, bending down again to kiss your cheeks over and over, giving you time to adjust.

“Lance, please move, please, I need you.” That was all it took for Lance to begin thrusting into you, the sound of skin slapping and both of your moans filling the otherwise quiet room. Your nails dug into Lance’s back, trying to keep yourself grounded. He groaned at the sensation and picked up his pace, strands of hair falling near his eyes from the momentum.

You don’t think you had ever felt so good and so beautiful than in that moment, your cheeks were flushed, your eyes fluttering shut and your hands gripping at any part of Lance’s skin you could find. And then it all stopped. You opened your eyes to find him looking over you, chest heaving as he looked at you with so much admiration.

“Why did you stop?” “Just… let me look at you.”

Just like you, he was taking in everything, worried that he may never get to do this again. You both pushed the thought from your mind as he started again, leaning over you this time, your legs wrapped around his toned waist as you brought each other closer to orgasm.

“All yours. Only yours.” The phrase fell too easily from your lips and Lance moaned loudly at it. “I know baby, I know. You’re all mine, always have been.”

His pace was unrelenting and you could feel yourself falling apart more and more. His words were like magic on you and his praise made up for your lack of talking after the last few months. Every breathy gasp, every throaty moan and every mention of your name from his tongue was like pure gold.

Lance felt the same, looking down at you, he felt his heart swell as your cheeks flushed and lips parted so beautifully to make way for your pleasure to be voiced. His hands were laced in yours, pinning them just above your shoulders as he thrust into you.

His hips began to stutter, not from exhaustion, he could never tire of you below him, making the sounds that you were but because he knew his orgasm was only moments away.

“God, you feel so good around me. I’m getting so close, baby.”

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted so bad, Lance. I am never leaving you again. Please baby, please.” Your mind was intoxicated on him and it had loosened your lips, all the things you had to keep inside for so long, coming out.

“Darling, you have… fuck, you have no idea. You’re the only thing I think about at night when I am alone in my hotel room, you are my only release.” The brutal honesty may have seemed over the top or too much but for both of you, it was the confirmation that you were meant to be. That all those years of friendship, of pining, had meant to lead you here, to each other’s arms and hearts.

“I’m really close, angel. Where do you… where - fuck!” He wanted to come inside of you, the animal part of his brain wanted to claim you as his own, send a signal to Harry that he only temporarily had you, that you had always still belonged to Lance. But the only thing that Lance wanted more was for you to feel good and so he asked and would never force you into anything, he knew you had been for 3 months and he never wanted to be like Harry.

“In me, I want you to come in me, Lance. Please!” Your eyes were watery, the pleasure becoming too much and you knew you needed him. It seemed like the rawest form of intimacy and that is all you ever wanted with him. Harry never had the privilege and Lance was the only one who ever would.

“Marry me, please - oh fuck - marry me, ma belle.” “I will, I will, I promise. Fuck, Lance, I’m going to-” and before you could finish your sentence, you were seeing stars and high-pitched moans leaving your lips and you could feel Lance riding out his orgasm, moaning your name over and over.

He came to lay softly over you, still inside you, pressing small kisses over your face again and again until you knew there wasn’t a square centimetre that hadn’t been touched by his puffy lips.

“You were so good, blossom. So good for me. Are you alright?” He was stroking your hair, looking down on you like you hung the moon in the sky every night. “I am so much more than alright. Thank you. You were amazing, you are amazing.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up, eh?” you giggled as his Canadian accent became more prominent. It always had when you were together when he was his most relaxed.

Lance watched as you relaxed, your eyes fluttering closed and your body melting into the mattress. He left to the bathroom, turning on the water before coming back to you. He placed an arm around your shoulders and an arm under your knees, hoisting you up, carrying you bridal style to the shower. He set you down, making sure you were steady on your feet before grabbing a handful of soap and washing you. You stood there, completely still, eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of someone looking after you. He massaged your shoulders before washing your arms, breasts, stomach and legs, carefully avoiding every sore spot on your body.

Your eyes fluttered open at the loss of touch, Lance guiding you under the water to rinse you. As he reached for his shampoo, you stopped him, reaching your hand out expectantly. He sighed and handed it over to you. You reached up to Lance’s hair, before depositing the shampoo on it, pulling a face as you had to quickly stop it from running into his eyes. He chuckled at you and pulled you closer as he watched you concentrate on lathering his hair. You giggled to yourself as you made it into a mohawk before trying to recreate Elvis’ iconic hairstyle.

Lance was exhausted from the last few days but he would have stood there all night, or morning, he didn’t know what the time was, if he got to watch you smile to yourself at your antics.

“Did you mean it?” You said calmly as you finished washing his shampoo out.

“Mean what?” Lance had a suspicion but wanted to be sure before making a fool of himself.

“Marrying you.” You laid your head on his chest, letting your finger trail over his freckles, giving you an excuse not to stare into his eyes. The warm water enveloping you both in that moment together. After a few beats of silence, you looked up at him, a look of expectancy on your face. You had read his silence as rejection when it was really composure.

“Yes. I mean every bit of it.” He kissed you on the forehead tenderly. “I guess young boys don’t really think about marriage or their soul mate or even love that much but I still remember when I knew. It was Mugello I think, I was really down because I hadn’t managed to put it on pole all weekend for the first time that year and you tried to cheer me up all weekend. We had gotten rained out for the first race and it was cancelled and everyone was just so down but you went back to the trailer and dragged out those silly little drift karts you had gotten for your birthday. We reeked so much havoc that day, you, Robert and I just speeding down the paddock. René was chasing after us yelling for us not to get hurt and we got back to the trailer we were absolutely soaked from flicking puddles at each other with our wheels. We couldn’t stop laughing and I remember looking over at you.” He stopped and shook his head, smiling.

“You were standing outside the trailer, squeezing the water out of your hair, your suit was around your waist, soaked and René was jokingly scolding you and your laughter just sounded like the most beautiful music I had ever heard. I guess that was when I knew I was going to marry you. I still am going to marry you.” You reached up and kissed him tenderly.

“Take me to bed, my love. I want to lie in your arms and pretend that everything is ok for a while.”

“Anything for you, ma rose.”

____________________________________________________

part 3 will be out soon

a huge thank you to @tinydancerjj for all her hype on this! she is the bestest <3

#lance stroll #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll x you #lance stroll angst #lance stroll smut #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fic

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cchickki · 5 months

Text

My Fanfic Masterlist

My fanfics through the years from both ao3 and fanfiction.net

thinking about opening requests for some one shots soon! i also have more ideas for some shorter fics, but i want to try and catch up on what i'm already working on first

complete - story is finished

in progress - story is among my wips/currently being worked on

incomplete - not sure if i'll ever finish this story

Image credits for headers: (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Thank you all for the support <3

Spiderverse / Marvel

HBO War / Band of Brothers

Uncharted (video game series)

Mass Effect

Beyond the Deep - Kaidan Alenko x (Custom) Fem Shep ao3 | ff.net | chapters: 11/? | rating: M | status: in progress

More Stories (misc)

Movies

Serenity - Shu Lien x Mu Bai (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) ao3 | ff.net | chapters: 1/1 | rating: G/K | status: complete

Video Games

Television Shows

#fanfiction #fanfiction masterlist #spiderverse #band of brothers #uncharted #mass effect #hbo war #long post #x reader #x oc #my fanfic

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saiilorstars · 1 year

Text

Darkest Before Dawn

Ch.20: Beyond the Avenger

Steve Rogers x OFC fic

taglist: @ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @gloryekaterina @averyhotchner @foxesandmagic @lenonizi

Story Masterlist // Seren’s Masterlist

If you’d like to be a part of this OC’s work/edits, let me know!

What followed after capturing Loki was rough, and perhaps a bit chaotic, but Steve didn't really think too much of it. All he knew was that one moment, Seren was fine and helped them retrieve Loki from the Tower and then suddenly, she was found unconscious on the floor. Steve blamed himself for leaving her unattended. It was messy; he had no idea how anything worked, especially in Stark's ridiculously high-tech tower, so he got lost here and there.

They hurried Seren over to a specialized hospital run by S.H.I.E.L.D. since they were the only ones who had Seren's records and knew what to give her and what not to give her. Apparently, Seren was deadly allergic to Penicillin.

"It's a Celessian thing," Chloe informed him when they saw Seren rushed off by the medics, leaving them in the waiting room, "Their biology can't handle it. Atria says it's like a Kryptonite thing. You know Superman, right?"

Steve barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes," he muttered.

"Well, it's like that except clearly Seren can be around it but, you know, not ingest—"

"I understand, Chloe. I just want to know that Seren will be okay. I mean..." Steve looked towards the double-set doors where the medics had taken Seren, "Not that I'm not glad that Stark's okay but...he's human. He's completely human and yet he's okay and...Seren's not?"

"It was probably those powers she used," Chloe shrugged, "That thing she did in the air with the whole colors? I've never seen that. It was probably too much."

"So, what, she's between life and death now!?"

"I hardly think that's what's going on," Chloe said, looking much too calm for Steve's taste. Chloe smiled lightly at him, bringing a hand on his arm. "She'll be okay. Seren's a lot stronger than you think."

"I got a taste of how strong she is, remember?" Steve said, bringing a hand to his cheek when he remembered the fight he had with Seren while she was under Loki's control.

Chloe laughed. "Yeah, you never want to be on the receiving end of Stardust's hits. My point is, she's biologically stronger, so she'll be okay. Maybe she'll be a little more tired for a few days but...it'll be fine."

Steve nodded fervently, choosing to trust Chloe and her judgement. She knew Seren way better than he did. "Is, um, is there someone we should call for her? I know she mentioned she had parents in Hudson?"

"Mm..." Chloe swayed her head, dropping into an empty chair, "I wouldn't. Seren's relationship with her parents is kind of tetchy. Besides, they've probably already seen the news and everything so...they're either 'a'—" she jerked a thumb up, "—going ballistic seeing what Seren did, and or b," she raised her index finger, "getting ready to argue with her and Atria."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Steve came to sit down next to Chloe.

"Seren should tell you this—"

"Chloe, please," Steve would resort to begging if he had to. He needed to know how to help Seren. For that matter, Chloe took pity on him.

"Seren's parents have never been okay with her working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and as an adult, it's worse. And if they saw what Seren did, I'm sure it'll be just lovely meeting with them."

So don't call them, Steve decided. That was fine. He could stay with Seren all the way through her stay at the hospital.

Chloe let out a sigh, still feeling tired herself after the days they had. She felt her phone buzz and pulled it out of her back pocket to see a message lighting up her screen. "It's Stark..." She read the message as quickly as she could. "Says he and Thor are still at S.H.I.E.L.D. with Loki. Thor's asking about Seren."

Steve appreciated the knowledge that at least somebody else besides him and Chloe were concerned about Seren's state. He wasn't that surprised with Tony's lack of concern, preferring to ignore Tony's comments about "twinkle star" and whatnot. He watched Chloe text Tony back but his gaze soon drifted towards the hallway ahead of them.

"Oh, Natasha's checking in too," he barely registered Chloe's mumble. He was growing more anxious by the minute.

Why wasn't anyone coming out to tell them how Seren was doing? This was supposed to be a better hospital!

Chloe once again sympathized with Steve, though she felt that a part of his concern stemmed from something she wouldn't be able to understand. Bearing that in mind, she walked over to the reception desk and spoke to one of the nurses. Steve didn't even notice she was gone until she was walking back to him.

"We can see Seren for a couple minutes," she announced, leaving him to gawk. "What?"

"How did you get that to happen?" Steve asked, looking over Chloe to the reception desk.

"The power of persuasion," Chloe shrugged.

Steve's eyes flickered back on the blonde. "You have the power to persuade people too?"

Chloe snorted. "No, but I did use my 'I work directly with the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. so you better let me do what I want' card. You'd be surprised how much that works for me."

Steve didn't know what to say to that and he didn't really care. All he knew is that he would be able to see Seren for a bit. He was right behind Chloe when they headed down the hallway.

"I would just, uh, brace yourself..." Chloe warned him when they stopped in front of Seren's room.

"Why?" Steve felt a knot in his stomach. Had Seren's condition grown worse?

"Seren's resting, don't worry," Chloe said first, presuming where Steve's thoughts had gone to, "But you do remember that Seren's got a fear of doctors, right?"

"Yeah, hard to forget the cuffs..."

"Well, that was just a tiny bit of restraints they used because Seren asked for them..." Chloe scrunched her face, "But when Seren's against the doctors, more measures need to be taken." With that, Chloe opened the door to the room and stepped inside.

Sure enough, Seren was resting peacefully...but she was practically strapped to her bed. Once again, she wore the power-cancelling cuffs around her wrists, along with thicker metal straps over her chest, waist and legs.

Steve was horrified with the sight. "This is barbaric!" he exclaimed.

"No, this is pretty accurate," Chloe told him, crossing her arms when she approached Seren's bedside.

"It's this bad?" Steve asked, unable to take his eyes off Seren.

Chloe nodded fervently at him. "Seren hates this stuff. I once saw her blast an entire flock of nurses away from her, and that was by accident. For all of Tony's jokes, if Seren was a bad guy for real, we'd be thoroughly screwed. She's strong, Steve, and all of our doctors are human. If she's not restraint, she can seriously injure someone during a rampage of fear."

Steve heard the honesty in Chloe's words, felt it too. He sighed. Seren would never willingly hurt someone but when someone was terrified and hurt, they did things without thinking it through. He stepped up beside Chloe and gazed down at Seren. "How many times has she been like this? With...with all this stuff around her?"

"Usually, she's not seriously injured or anything so a mild sedative does the job but there are occasions where she's outcold so they need to take precautionary measures for when she does wake up. They're not hurting her, Steve. I promise you that."

"I'm choosing to trust you, Chloe," Steve confessed, "Because right now, I feel completely powerless."

Chloe rested a hand on his shoulder. "You can always trust me," she assured him. "I'm no Seren but I do try my best to be good."

Steve smiled lightly at her. "You were pretty brave out there too. In general. Taking charge on behalf of Seren?"

Chloe smiled back. "What can I say? I learned from the best." She gestured to Seren. "Everything I am now is because of her. So whenever she needs me, I try to be around."

"How long have you known her again?"

"Couple years now. I was seventeen when I met her. She's like my big sister..." Chloe's smile widened when she glanced at Steve, "And now I can say I also might have a big brother nearby...?"

Steve couldn't help but chuckle. He could live with that. Chloe was the youngest of the "team" they had formed for this mission. He could see her as a younger sister, especially with the way she tended to act around him.

"You sticking around, then?" Chloe asked him, moving around him towards the door. "I have to check in with Fury about this stuff."

"He's not coming?" Steve frowned. Seren had nearly killed herself on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the director wasn't even going to stop by to see how she was doing?

"Probably not. S.H.I.E.L.D. is in a big mess right now," Chloe said, stopping by the open door, "It's got the FBI and CIA on its back right now, not to mention Fury's also chewing the World Council out too. They almost nuked New York, for God's sake!"

Steve heard Chloe perfectly but in his perspective, none of that mattered. "Seren is here, and he's not coming to check in on her?"

Chloe smiled softly at him. "Seren's got you. No one else matters. I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

Steve nodded silently and turned back to Seren. He grabbed a chair nearby and pulled it close to her bedside, ready to wait as long as he needed to. Ironically, that's what she had done for him when he was discovered under the ice.

~ 0 ~

Seren would spend the rest of the day and the following one fast asleep. In that time, Steve had not left her bedside. Chloe had returned and spent the first night with him. Natasha stopped by in the morning, announcing she would be leaving soon on another mission. Thor wanted to come as well but leaving Loki unattended was a risk he knew Seren would not want on her behalf. Tony checked in every now and then from a distance.

When Seren did wake up, she did it only half an hour after Steve had been begrudgingly pulled away by none other than the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. himself. Chloe was the sole witness of Seren's messy wake and even helped the doctors and nurses calm the Celessian down. By the time Steve was able to make his way back to the hospital, Seren's room looked very different from before.

The metal straps were gone, so were the IVs and practically anything else medical-related. Furniture had also been removed except for the bed and the television. Even though the bed remained, Seren was not lying down on it. She was sitting in the visitor chair tucked away in the corner of the room furthest from the door. She had her legs pulled up in front of her chest, her arms tightly around them. The cuffs were still around her wrists. Her eyes were wide, still heavy with fear, and maybe the noise coming from her was her breathing.

"What happened?" Steve whispered to Chloe, gaping at the empty room.

"I told you it gets bad," Chloe hissed at him, brow furrowed. "She's fine now, but she needs to stay another day for observation."

"And how'd that news go?"

Chloe smiled sourly. "Your turn, Captain." She wouldn't say it but Seren had bruised one of her arms in the fight to calm the Celessian down. She was going on a hunt for an ice pack. "She can't bruise you..." Chloe eyed Steve for a few seconds, "I think...?"

Steve rolled his eyes at her. He waved her off then walked towards Seren, albeit cautiously. "Seren?"

Seren latched onto him the moment he was close enough. "Steve, get me out of here. I need to leave! I need to leave now!"

"I know," he bent down in front of her, letting her grip his arms as tightly as she needed (which was pretty tight). "But you need to stay another day."

"Noo..." Seren's eyes widened again, "No, no, no, please don't let them—"

"Seren," Steve brought his hands on her arms, "It'll be okay—"

"No!" She shook her head. "I want to leave—"

"It's just for observation—"

"I don't need it!"

"You do. You went into space—"

"I'm from space!"

Steve managed a small smile. "No, you're from Earth right now and you need to rest."

Seren's eyes actually teared up, a novel sight for Steve. He almost let her do what she wanted because of it. She let him go, looking betrayed as her gaze fell downwards. Steve didn't know that was enough to hurt him more than the punches Seren had thrown at him. He was learning new things with her every day.

"Seren," he spoke gently, wanting to show her that he was still her friend trying to help her, "I get that you're scared. I used to be in these rooms all the time. And you know what happened most of the time?"

"What?" Seren's voice was hard, an unusual tone for her.

"Bucky was always with me. I'm going to do that with you now, okay? I won't leave until you get to leave."

"I don't want to stay here," Seren muttered. "I'm okay."

"You are," Steve agreed, "But the doctors need to make sure. You went into space, Seren. Let them make sure, okay?"

Seren did not look convinced at all but she knew when her options were limited and since she was still wearing the damn cuffs, her options were very limited. She wasn't going anywhere until the cuffs were taken off. "Fine," she mumbled.

Steve smiled lightly but Seren never returned it. That also hurt him; something new he didn't know could happen.

"Do you want to lie down for a bit?" he asked her.

Seren leaned back in her chair, eyeing the bed with newfound fear. "No," she hissed.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you, Seren," he reiterated, "Don't you trust me?"

At the question, Seren's eyes flickered to him and her anger seemed to wane. "...yeah."

"Then trust me when I say that no doctor is going to hurt you. Come rest. It's got to be more comfortable than this chair. Bucky always said that it made his bottom stiff."

Seren smiled for the first time. "You need to tell me more stories about him — you and him."

Steve seized the opportunity as soon as it presented itself. "I'd love to tell you anything you want to know. Come sit on the bed, yeah?" He held a hand out to Seren and put all of his faith that for once, the world would be kind to him and he would keep his friend.

"Damn you," Seren mumbled under her breath as she took Steve's hand. He gently pulled her up to her feet and guided her to the bed, though once they reached it Seren made a step backwards.

"You'll be fine," he assured her, resting a hand on her back as he encouraged her to sit down on the bed.

Seren gulped when she sat down and even then she only sat right on the edge of the bed. Steve still took it as a win.

"How far the mighty have fallen, huh?" Seren said, swallowing hard again.

Steve chuckled as he sat down next to her. "Everyone has fears, Seren. Why shouldn't you?"

"Because I'm..." she sighed, "Because I'm supposed to be strong and invincible. I'm S.H.I.E.L.D.'s best agent. I should act like it out in the field and in here."

"You are the best agent, and you're allowed to be scared too." But Steve knew that wasn't going to happen so freely. "Why are you so afraid of doctors?"

"Asks the one who knows what doctors tend to do," Seren spat then winced at herself. "Sorry."

Steve laughed. "Don't worry. It's a very true statement. Bucky tended to tease me by saying I could play connect-the-dots with all the shots I got."

Seren burst into laughter when she heard that. Steve counted another point for himself.

"That one's funny," she admitted once she was sober enough to speak, "Did you ever play connect the dots with the shots?"

"No!"

Seren chuckled again. "Had to ask. Please know that I will be holding that against you now."

"Alright, well, tell you what? If you tell me why this place scares you so much, you can make fun of me however much you want."

Seren lowered her head. She sighed.

"Seren," Steve called her again, gently bumping shoulders with her, "I was in your place too," he reminded her. "More times than I can count." When Seren still didn't speak, Steve tried a different tactic. "I was afraid of the doctors because I never knew if that time was going to be the last time I'd ever see the outside again." Seren's hands grew white when she began gripping the underside of the bed. "I wondered if it was going to be the last time I got to see the sun, or the park, or my mother…Bucky. Doing that takes a toll on you."

There was a long stretch of silence before Seren finally spoke. "It's not a fear of dying. It never has been. The line of work that I'm in — I'm not afraid of dying. I got over that early on." Seren bit on her bottom lip when she finally raised her head. "When I was born, my mother had to go to a special hospital, a S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital, because no one could know what kind of child was on the way." A sour laugh came out of her mouth. "Even before I was born, my identity was already being kept a secret. And when I was finally old enough to understand why I needed to stay a secret, the unsettling fear never left me. Dying isn't a fear for me. If anything, it would be like a release. Wouldn't matter if anyone found out what I was; I'm dead. So the reason I'm afraid of doctors? They're the people who know what I am and can betray me at any moment. S.H.I.E.L.D. can't control everything. The sad truth is that almost everyone has a price."

Steve heard Seren perfectly, even the things she had not said out loud. "And you've lived with the crippling fear that those doctors claiming to save your life will one day out you." Seren nodded silently. " I get that, I do, but what I don't understand is why you would be so afraid of that. What is supposed to happen if someone finds out that you're half alien?"

Seren appreciated Steve's genuine blissfulness. "There are plenty of underground organizations who would kill to get their hands on anything humans enhanced or alien. And their families."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Steve said, sighing before he spoke his next words, "But you do realize that after what happened with the Chitauri, your face is everywhere now." Seren's eyes widened, clearly not having thought of that until now. "You've been outcold for a while. The news have been going nonstop."

Seren was still processing when Steve got up from the bed to turn the television on. He picked up the remote and started flipping channels until he found what he was looking for.

'Despite the devastation of what has been confirmed as an extraterrestrial attack, the extraordinary heroics of the group known as the Avengers…'

Seren watched the report intently. Her heart would beat so fast each time she heard reporters and witnesses decide whether they sided with the 'Avengers' or they blamed them for the battle. This was the first time ever that the word 'Avengers' even made it to the public. And they had reports on everyone. Even Steve's identity had become publically known.

"Oh my God..." Seren brought a hand up to her mouth. It wasn't long before she saw her own face on screen, and multiple witnesses either blaming her with the Avengers or cheering her on. "I'm public now..." Her voice shook with fear.

"But it's not all bad," Steve pointed out, trying to encourage her to pay more attention. He got lucky because a few seconds later, one witness came to help him.

'...Stardust illuminated the street with this big ball of light,' a young man was saying. 'She saved the building I was trapped in. We saw her fall too...I hope she's okay. If she's watching, if you're watching, thank you.'

Seren lowered her hand from her mouth and leaned forward, looking pretty startled with what she had heard.

"Yeah, I felt like that too the first time I actually saved someone," Steve said, turning the screen off and walking back to her bed. "The cheering, the compliments — it's all weird. But you see? Not everyone is bad, and you deserve to feel comfortable with who you are."

"I don't know if I'll ever feel like that," Seren admitted, still eyeing the television as if it were on. "It's not just me I worry about. My family, my father's human. If anything were to happen to him—"

"Constantly thinking like that is a never-ending whirlpool of feelings," Steve said, once again speaking from direct experience. "But I'm sure that if you';re that worried about it right now, S.H.I.E.L.D. can put up a security detail on them."

Seren scoffed. "Yeah, like they'd ever let that happen. My parents despise S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Maybe they don't have to know about it."

Seren managed to smile at that. She side-glanced Steve. "You're kind of sneaky." Steve chuckled. "Tactical. I like it."

Steve felt a slight flush cross his face. He cleared his throat. "Well, according to Fury, it's one of the assets that would make me valuable to S.H.I.E.L.D. He asked me to officially join S.H.I.E.L.D. That's why I wasn't here when you woke up. I was talking to him about it."

"Oh," Seren blinked, shifting to face him, "Well, I hope you think about it. It's...it's a good place."

Steve nodded silently. Whether it was good or bad, fighting is what he did. For the good side, of course. The sad reality is that right now it was all he had. There was nothing to "go home to". At least in S.H.I.E.L.D., he would see familiar people, starting with Seren. Maybe he could even say Chloe and Natasha too now.

"You obviously don't have to tell me what you decide but…" Seren tried her best not to look so awkward. "It'd be nice to have you on board."

"I'll think about it," Steve said earnestly.

Seren nodded, her blinking growing slower. She still needed to rest.

"If you sleep, I'll stay here, I promise," Steve told her, standing up from the bed to give her the space she needed.

Seren warily eyed the bed. She visibly gulped.

"Trust me, Seren," Steve said, holding his hand out to her again.

Seren hated that she lost the battle against a yawn which just further proved the point that she still needed to rest. She took Steve's hand and let him gently pull her towards the pillow. She laid down on her side facing Steve, looking both exhausted and frightened (again). "Please don't leave," she whispered.

"I won't," Steve promised her. He didn't let go of her hand until she fell asleep, which honestly hadn't taken very long.

~ 0 ~

Central Park is where Thor and Loki would be departing from. Loki had been bound and gagged with a muzzle and was being personally walked by Thor. Tony was behind them carrying an empty briefcase in his hands. The others were beside him, all walking in silence until they reached the designated footbridge.

Seren couldn't stop staring at the Tesseract as it was transferred into a secure glass cylinder for the transport. "I can't believe it's finally leaving Earth," she said quietly. Steve, Chloe and Tony stood on either side of her. "It's been here since 1995. she remarked then glanced at Steve and Tony, "Well, you know, after the 40s. Danvers left it in Fury's care. I really doubt that she meant for S.H.I.E.L.D. to try and weaponize it." There was a tone of shame in her voice, like she was at fault for what happened with the Tesseract.

"It's where it belongs," Steve tried to make her see it wasn't being taken because she hadn't guarded it, but because it's where it should be at.

"If she comes back, you want to explain that to her? Stories said she's incredibly strong."

"I will," Tony said with a careless shrug. And Seren thought he really would.

Once the Tesseract was safely transferred, Thor approached the group. He smiled at Seren, happy to see her doing much better than before. "You're going to take it easy now, right?"

Seren playfully rolled her eyes. "I've only heard that about a hundred times after leaving the hospital."

"What did you expect?" Chloe immediately jumped on the opportunity to continue the conversation. "You went into space! And you literally destroyed those Chitauri crafts like a ping pong game! You're going to take it easy now. You had your Avenger moment, now it's time for a vacation."

"What?" Seren laughed.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Your Avenger moment! You know, like the moment? Doing all that was it. Congrats. Vacation time now."

"Oh Chloe," Seren shook her head fondly at the woman.

"She is right," Thor said, "You deserve to take a break. Your body asked for it back in the Tower. You collapsed."

"Honestly, that whole thing is a blurry moment," Seren admitted to the group, "It's kind of fuzzy after the whole portal thing. For a moment, I swore I saw multiple of you guys."

"See? Vacation," Chloe said firmly.

"Thank you, Lady of the Stars" Thor said. "I have a big debt to pay you since the last time we met. If you would like, I could arrange a visit to Celessia. Perhaps carve a star of your own."

Seren's face lit up at the prospect of actually carving her own star pendant like her grandmother and ancestors had. "Really?" Her smile could crack her face in two.

Thor nodded. "Of course. I think you have very well earned it. We could make it a, uh, a trip of days if you'd like."

Chloe beamed. "Now that's a vacation!"

"Oh my God, I'd love that!" Seren brought her hands to her face, nearly squealing out of excitement. "I've never been to Celessia. It's always been impossible!"

"Do S.H.I.E.L.D. agents take vacations?" Tony asked curiously.

Chloe shrugged. "Not that I'm aware of but who cares. Seren should go for weeks after all this crap!"

Weeks? For some reason, that didn't sit well with Steve. He looked at Seren and saw how gleeful she was at the idea; he couldn't tell her anything that would dampen her mood.

Thor smiled sweetly at the young woman and promised her it would happen soon enough. He then took the cylinder with the Tesseract inside and gestured it to Loki. The two brothers grabbed hold of its ends. Thor spared his new friends a last look, a parting wave, before he and Loki vanished altogether.

"Glad that takes care of that," Chloe said in the end, her legs backtracking from the group. "I gotta get to Queens, make sure my cousin is okay. Stark, wanna give me a ride? I saw you got a new car."

"I think not," Tony pointed at her to stay where she was. She was backtracking for his car with a big smirk on her face.

"You're a child," Seren sighed.

"Which one?" Clint said when he and Natasha joined them.

"Doctor, are you ready?" Tony turned to Banner, the only wanted guest he would take happily.

"Yeah," Banner nodded. He was more than in need of a little getaway to clear his head again.

"Alright then," Tony clapped his hands and shifted towards Seren. "Twinkle Star?"

Seren groaned. "You're not letting that go, are you?"

"No."

Seren wanted to look mad but she just couldn't, not anymore. Once you go into space with a man, ready to give up your lives...things sort of mellowed out between them. "Thanks," she said to him. "Thanks for helping me back there...with everything, actually."

"Ah, you know," Tony shrugged, attempting to be casual about it, "Gotta help a, um, fellow Avenger. Even though I technically am the first."

"What?" Seren laughed.

"I am the first Avenger," Tony said then shot Steve a look before he could argue the opposite. "I mean Capsicle over here may have been fighting before but it was for the war so that doesn't really count."

"I was fighting Hydra, Stark. I think that qualifies as Avenger terrain," Steve reminded him. "Like it or not, I'm the first."

"Well technically you're both wrong," Chloe inputted herself into the argument. "Seren's the one who's been training since she was a child for this initiative. You boys just got lucky. Seren has specifically trained to fight for this initiative therefore, she's the first Avenger."

Natasha rolled her eyes at them. "You're not seriously going to argue about this, are you?"

"Technically speaking, Carol Danvers is the first Avenger," Seren started to say pensively.

"I think they are," Clint said to Natasha, both of them looking back and forth between the group who were getting more animated by the second.

"I mean, the Initiative was literally named after her!" Seren continued.

"Yeah but she's not even in this galaxy!" Tony exclaimed.

"It's not you, Tony," Steve shut Tony's next argument before it even happened.

"You're both delusional," Chloe waved them both off. "Seren's the first! Seren, c'mon, don't be shy!"

"I'm not! I'm just being honest!"

"Oh boy," Clint looked over to Banner who was patiently waiting by Tony's new car. "Doctor, you might want to wait a bit longer!" He called over, leaving Banner puzzled.

~ 0 ~

When Tony finally agreed to drop Chloe off in Queens, the rest of the group headed back to S.H.I.E.L.D. for the last briefing. They learned quickly that, as of now, the Avenger's Initiative was in place but on hold until the next time they were needed.

"Agent Soul, you did well," Fury told the woman after the meeting when everyone else had filed out of the room. "Atria would be proud."

Seren smiled lightly. "I should probably talk to her now that this is over."

"Now for your next missions, I'm just going to need Agent Soul and Stardust like usual. Think we can downplay it for now?"

Seren nodded. "Of course." More than the Initiative, she did love working as a regular Agent.

"And I've spoken to Rogers about a permanent place for him in S.H.I.E.L.D."

Seren beamed. "I know, I think it's great!" She missed Fury's studious stare as she went on. "I hope he accepts. He seems a little bit uncertain still but I'm sure that he can find his place here too."

"I hope so too…" Fury said slowly. "That is all."

Seren dutifully nodded and hurried out. She didn't know why but it felt like there was something else Fury wanted to tell her. She figured if it was important, that important, it would come up later.

On her way down, she came across Natasha who was carrying a manila folder in her arms. She looked ready for work, not unusual for her.

"Got my next mission," she announced in the elevator.

"Already? Don't you ask for breaks?" Seren asked her with a playful smile.

Natasha matched it with her own. "Not all of us can snap our fingers and have a God take us off planet...nor a super soldier whisk me away." That playful smile turned into a smirk fast. "Look at you, go get 'em."

Seren's smile disappeared altogether as she groaned. "Not this again."

"You should know that Chloe left a present for him downstairs in the hangar."

"What?" Seren flipped her head in Natasha's direction.

"Don't worry, it's platonic!"

"Stop it!"

Natasha laughed lightly. "Couldn't resist. But it's there...if you want to walk him…"

"Romanoff, I know we just dealt with aliens but keep it up and it won't be anything compared to what I'll do."

Natasha patted Seren's shoulder. "Of course…" The smirk came back, giving Seren a moment to dread what was coming. "...lovey." The elevator dinged open, allowing Natasha a clean leave while Seren tried making sense of what she heard.

She decided Natasha was crazy and that maybe Chloe might have finally lost it. That last one would depend on what she thought would be a good idea for a gift. She had some odd tendencies. She eventually found Steve in the front entrance, look I'll be more than ready to go. It was rather amusing telling him that Chloe had left a present for him in the hangar.

"For me?" He asked even when they had already started their way.

"Yes," Seren chuckled.

"But why me?"

"Because Chloe is Chloe. She's unpredictable. I'm rather curious what she got for you, aren't you?"

They paused outside the hangar. While Steve didn't answer, his expression said it all. Seren pushed the doors open for them and walked in. It was a little tricky figuring out what was left as a present but as soon as Seren spotted it, she knew it was meant for Steve.

"Over here!" She called to him, waving him over.

Steve did a quick sprint to see what Seren was looking at. "Oh wow…" He breathed in at the sight of a new motorcycle.

"Do you even know how to use one?" Seren was watching his dumbfounded face, barely able to hold her laugh in.

"Yeah, yeah, in the...war…" Steve was still trying to wrap his mind around this present. It was actually really nice and he could use one. Now that he thought about it, he had mentioned to Chloe - while they watched over Seren - that he needed to start finding a car or something to use instead of having a S.H.I.E.L.D. car at his disposal. She must have taken his words to heart.

"Well Chloe outdid herself this time," Seren said. She would give Chloe credit where it was due. "It's really nice. And look," she reached over to point at a white card sitting between the handles, "She left you a note."

Steve had only just seen it and picked it up. Sure enough, there was Chloe's cursive writing.

Cars are too used. Hope you like this instead! You could even use it to take a pretty girl on a ride! - Chloe.

A warmth flourished through Steve's face when his eyes drifted to Seren. Why his eyes immediately went to her, he didn't want to think about.

"What she say?" Seren asked curiously.

"Uh, just, uh…" Steve shoved the card into his pocket fast. He cleared his throat. "Hopes that I like it."

"I think you do," Seren smiled.

"But I can't…"

"Can't what? Accept it?"

Steve nodded. "It's really nice but I imagine it was also expensive. She didn't have to do this."

"Chloe does whatever she wants and sometimes she does good things with that. I think she really likes you and that's rare considering she doesn't really do people," Seren folded her arms. "She's not that great at it, apparently."

"She's amusing," Steve said, smiling as he thought more about that blonde. "Like what a sister would've been like."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I recruited her when she was younger and I just sort of took her in as a little sister. But I'm glad she found a big brother in someone like you."

God, that warmth was here to stay wasn't it? Steve awkwardly cleared his throat and attempted to fixate the longest stare on the motorcycle until his face returned to a regular temperature.

Seren mistook his silence for a continued conflict over the motorcycle. "C'mon Steve, just take it. You deserve it."

"I mean…"

Seren bumped his arm and smiled encouragingly at him. It was at that point that Steve noticed how big her green eyes were. When they batted, they were even prettier.

Stop it. He stiffened. That voice was probably right.

"You're taking it," Seren decided for him, unknowingly sounding a lot like Chloe. "Done deal!"

"What?" Steve laughed as she dropped the keys into his hands. There was apparently no going back. "Alright, alright, but now I guess I owe Chloe."

"No, you don't. When you save the world, you don't owe anyone."

"Well, you saved the world more than I did...more than anyone actually."

"It was a team effort, Steve. None of us did more than the other," Seren said that believing it with all her heart. It's what made Steve smile at her. She really had the makings of a fair hero.

"Seren, you know what you said...before you went up…" Steve languidly pointed up with a finger. He had wanted to bring it up since the first time she woke up in the hospital but thought it would be too imprudent. Seren's mind wasn't completely there at that point.

The guilt was pretty quick to fill Seren's eyes when that moment came back to her. Now that more time had passed by, she was remembering more clearly what happened in the battle. "I shouldn't have said anything about Bucky, I'm sorry."

"I brought it up," Steve corrected, "You know back when I was trying to join the army, he told me so many times that I didn't have to prove anything. I was cocky, I didn't realize it before, but I was trying to prove something in my own way. I had to do because it's what I felt was expected. And yeah, it was, but I didn't have to. What you did...you didn't have to either, especially when you were a child. What I did wasn't any better but at least I was well over the age of adulthood. Seren, you were child when S.H.I.E.L.D. brought you in. I don't know what the 90s were like but I know that it didn't include that."

Seren lowered her head, shaking it almost. He wasn't the first one to tell her something like that and he wouldn't be the last. "They needed help and I could do it."

"But you shouldn't have had to and you definitely shouldn't feel like you needed to prove anything to S.H.I.E.L.D." Steve sighed heavily. He didn't know the full story and he suspected that even if he did, he wouldn't like it and it wouldn't change his stance either. "I was too late to see what Bucky meant. I don't want that to happen to you too.:

"I'm okay," Seren shrugged, "It's part of the job. I did what I was trained to do."

Steve wasn't surprised with her kind of language. It was a version of the soldier language he knew well. "You are the first Avenger," he said with the utmost certainty that he was right. However it was said in such a soft manner that Seren couldn't do anything but blush. "And it's not just the soldier-esque skills you used. It's the fact that you care for others beyond the scope of the battle." Seren raised an eyebrow at him. "You helped me push through when that bomb threw me out."

Seren nodded slowly. Her face flushed with warmth when she remembered that moment. She broke all boundaries the way she handled it. "I'm sorry..."

"No," Steve smiled lightly at her, "You helped, Seren. That's what you do, and I really appreciate it."

Seren found herself smiling back at him. The only thing capable of pulling her out of the odd moment was her cellphone ringing, and it did. It was her grandmother and she was waiting. Seren quickly ended the call, promising she would stop by that same day. "Sorry," she apologized to Steve. "I'm taking a few days to, uh, visit my grandmother and my parents. Make sure they're alright."

"Of course," Steve nodded.

Seren made a move to leave, though she felt like there was something missing but she couldn't figure it out. She ultimately settled for something else. "That job offer from S.H.I.E.L.D. — I think it would be great if you and I were on the same team but I would also understand why you would say no to it. I would never want you to feel like we're throwing you back into the world that's responsible for putting you in our Time. Whatever you decide, I'll always be here for you, okay?"

"Thank you, Seren," Steve said. He had truly gotten so lucky when he met her, hadn't he?

Seren flinched when her phone went off again. "Dammit, she really is psychic. Knows I'm not on my way yet." She fumbled to answer her grandmother in a quick text. "Gotta run, literally." She turned to leave in a hasty sprint.

"Seren?" Steve called before he knew it. She stopped midway and looked back. Why were Chloe's words coming back to him right now? ...Pretty girl for a ride…

"Something wrong?" Seren asked after he went silent.

"Uh...no...no…" Steve quickly shook his head, hoping that thought would shake away in the process.

"Okay," Seren waved goodbye and headed for the door.

"Actually…" Steve hated that she had to stop again just because he couldn't make up his mind. "When you get back, we should do curry again."

Seren beamed at the idea. "Oh yeah!"

"My treat, you know, since you went into a portal into outer-space…"

Seren chuckled. "Okay, I'm holding you to that."

"Promise," Steve raised his hand.

"Okay," Seren felt like she was smiling too much. She hurried off before she did something too much. Later on in her car ride, she started to wonder what 'too much' even meant.

She never found the answer.

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bratshaws · 2 years

Text

goodness gracious 75. brb x oc

a/n: I'll be honest I kinda based Chloe's whole schtick on a reddit thread I saw ages ago and it stuck to me. Does it make sense?? I hOPE?i t's just a sprinkle of angst yall nothing more uwu

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: light angst, FIRST FIGHT KIND OF???, then fluff

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

Marcus did pay her, the exact amount he said he would and she was more than happy. Now she could not only get her car - the red Jeep wrangler she saw weeks ago - but she could also save this money for the moving day! Everything was running so smoothly, so nicely she could barely believe it. She’s been having a great week and when Friday rolled around, she was all smiles, so much it hurt her cheeks.

But one thing she found odd that day was how Rooster barely messaged her, well, less than normal, she knew he couldn’t talk much during work so this wasn’t so off. But it was fine! He was probably very busy!

This Friday she had to show up at the Hard Deck earlier since they were going to reorganize some bottles that arrived later than Monday, it was fine to Beatrice, she could talk to Penny and Shells while working which was always fun. She wondered when she could tell them she was moving in with Rooster, since they did think about going out this Saturday to visit some places and check them out…so, Monday! Monday would be a good time.

Penny asks Beatrice to take some of the trash out and she does with a huge smile, Shells commenting how she had never seen someone so happy to take those giant black bags outside like Bea was. The brunette just ignored, humming all the way over to the trash bins down the sidewalk, her peripheral vision noticing a different car in the parking lot, a white one that she couldn’t identify because it was a bit distant.

But her eyes would wander back towards it every now and again, furrowing her brows as to why it’d be there in the first place considering it was so early in the afternoon – too early for any other cars to be there - considering the bar wasn’t even open yet. She did see a woman with brown hair step out, which in turn makes Beatrice blink, seeing her get closer and closer.

Maybe she was lost? It has happened before, people usually stop by the parking lot because they don’t know the region and they need help finding where to go. So Beatrice, with that assumption in her head, prepared her mind to remember street names and known spots for localization in the surroundings. What she didn’t expect was the woman coming closer, stopping a few steps away from her and suddenly saying her name, “Beatrice?”

She’s surprised, her brain then wracking all the memory files trying to remember if she knew this woman or not. “Um…yeah? Can I help you?”

The woman pulled out her sunglasses, they were the same height, with the same brown hair color but the differences were that the woman had light brown eyes and was skinnier than Beatrice, “...I was just curious,I’m Chloe.” That name brought nothing from her mind, which probably showed since Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows even more, “Chloe Ritzer.”

Again, nothing. Nothing appeared in her mind, “Oh…um…okay? Can I help you?” she repeats and the woman’s expression soured just enough to make Beatrice worry a bit, “I…I’m sorry, did we go to school together?”

“No.” comes her sticky sweet reply, “We did not, but I know someone that you know.”

Oh! Oh she probably knew her siblings or something like that, that explains why she couldn’t identify her name. “I’m surprised Rooster never told you about me.” Suddenly all the noise around Beatrice disappeared and a cold feeling took over her stomach, her confused look only worsening.

“Oh…you were, friends?” Why would Rooster never tell her about this woman? The goblin voice in the back of her mind started to cackle menacingly, whispering doubts in her brain that she knew it wasn’t true.

Chloe, who had this weirdly smug look on her face after hearing that question, smirked, “Oh no, we were more than friends.”

Wait, what? Bradley didn’t say he dated anyone before her, no he didn’t because Phoenix and Halo confirmed it too back when they got together. Beatrice’s mouth opens then closes, trying to digest this brand new information with her body going into fight of flight mode. “What do you mean more?”

“I’m just surprised,” she completely ignores the question, dropping her eyes down on Beatrice’s body and the brunette immediately feels like she needs to cover up, “That Rooster would…well, I didn’t think he was so desperate.” The words hit Bea harder than a slap.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, you don’t really think he’d be interested in you right?” The pure venom coming out from this woman who she had never met nor seen before was already chipping in her confidence walls. She was acting like a bully already. “He just did because I moved out and he had to find a rebound.”

Rebound.

Beatrice’s wide eyes got even wider, her breathing turning erratic, “That’s not true.” she whispers, “How do you– why are you–”

Ohohoho what did I tell you? You knew I was right, all along. You were nothing but a rebound, that’s what you are. Maybe that’s why he didn’t talk to you too much today, because he was seeing this woman again. She’s beautiful isn’t she? Skinny and model-esque. Not like you, you pathetic girl.

No. No this wasn’t happening, this wasn’t true!

Beatrice’s deep inhale was shaky but she licked her lips before speaking, “...I’m not a rebound.” she whispers, her eyes slowly meeting the other woman’s “I-I don’t know who you are but if you two were together before, that was then and this is now.I am not a rebound.”

Neither the goblin voice nor the woman expected that response, with Chloe’s lip curling into a disgusted snarl, “Listen here, tubby,” Beatrice tried not to jolt at the insult, “I don’t know what sort of lie he’s been spewing your way but he’s not interested in you at all.”

“He doesn’t lie to me.” she snaps back, “...you don’t know him, if you did you’d know Rooster doesn’t lie.”

Shells steps out of the bar when her friend takes too long to come back, stopping by the doors when she sees the two brunettes face to face, “Aunt Penny.” she calls and her aunt appears right next to her, wrinkling her brows and muttering ‘who the hell is that?’ to her niece. But she holds Shells back when the blonde tries to step closer, ready to defend her friend from this random strange woman they’ve never seen before.

“He’s a man, he’s going to lie.”

Beatrice feels her fury getting worse and worse, “No.” she snarls, “He’s not, you–how long were you two together?” Chloe opens her mouth to reply but Beatrice cuts her off, “If it’s more than one day you’d know that Rooster doesn’t lie, he was raised right, he is loving and he’s kind…”

Realization hits her immediately.

She wasn’t one of his girlfriends. She was one of the hookups he said he had before. “...that’s why you don’t know, you were with him for one day.” Chloe’s face turned angry, Beatrice struck a very visible nerve apparently, “...You– are you serious? You, you think that making up stuff about my boyfriend,” again another flinch coming from Chloe,”About how he’s apparently never loved me when we’ve been together for seven months and are currently thinking about moving in together?? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Chloe’s smug attitude dropped slowly, no doubt she was thinking she could manipulate Beatrice into thinking Rooster wasn’t interested–which backfired immensely- “I–you—”

“What the fuck!! What the fuck are you doing?” she hated how her personality reminded her of the Bitch Trio, maybe that was also why she was getting so fired up about her. That and the goblin voice trying to repeat over and over how it was right. If this was a few months back, maybe she’d be leaning towards it, maybe she’d doubt herself and her place in their relationship…but not now. Not now. “...You think he doesn’t love me or are you projecting your own fears on me? Because what you guys had was nothing more than a one night stand?”

“It was a great–”

“If it was he’d done something else about it,” Beatrice snaps, straightening her back and holding back a smile at how she was now taller than Chloe, “If it was why wouldn’t he be with you?...I am not a rebound. He loves me and if you have a problem with that I am sorry, I am so sorry but nothing will change it.`` Another car pulls to the parking lot, an SUV she knows too well and Evelyn’s body is already out and marching over.

“Listen tub–”

“No! You listen! My name is Beatrice. My name is Beatrice Schiavoni and” every word she gives a step forward and Chloe a step back, “And you dare, you fucking dare to come out of the woodworks accusing my boyfriend of being a liar when you know him for less than a few hours??” Chloe’s shoes hit the edge of the sidewalk, almost losing her balance, “And a one night stand??A hook up?? Rooster would never, he would never say what he doesn’t mean and if you– how fucking long was this? Almost a year ago? Two? And you kept the thought he wouldn’t move on?”

Chloe was looking smaller and smaller, Evelyn sending Shells and Penny a surprised look, “How fucking dare you??” Beatrice looked ready to beat the shit out of Chloe, not even because of her but because she was saying stuff about Rooster, “I don’t know what your plan here was, Chloe Ritzer.” Evelyn’s head snaps up when she hears the name, this time really getting closer to the two, “But you–”

“Chloe Ritzer?” Evelyn repeats, “You are the data analyst who was transferred out of state.”

Beatrice’s chest heaved with her intense breathing,looking back at Evelyn with her eyebrows furrowed then to Chloe whose eyes were now doubled in size, “Yeah,yeah I remember my dad saying something about you, about how you were asked to transfer because you pulled some bullshit around the base.”

“How the fuck does your dad know anything about me??”

“He’s a vice-admiral.” Chloe paled, immediately, her eyes now only focusing on Evelyn, “And if I call him right now and let him know that you are here and he contacts your superiors, they would know you are here now, right?”

Beatrice watched with wide eyes, not believing what she was hearing. The fact this woman came from out of nowhere just to get something out of Rooster was insane. How did she even pull this off? Better yet, what did she think it’d happen? Chloe just looked surrounded, which she was, especially when Penny and Shells got closer too, the three women forming a barricade behind Beatrice that signaled that Chloe was at a huge disadvantage there.

Seeing that this was a battle she could no longer win, which honestly she never did, Chloe slowly backed away, muttering she was ‘sorry for bothering them’ and ran to her car, almost hitting another one when she reversed out of the parking lot, disappearing from view. “What the fuck just happened?” Shells asked, looking at Beatrice, “Did she threaten you or something?”

“She was just badmouthing me and telling me lies…just,trying–I don’t know what her endgame was, but it was…weird.”

“Should we call the cops on her?” Shells asks Evelyn who is looking down at her phone, typing something quickly - undoubtedly letting her father know what just happened.

“No. I just texted my dad, he can deal with it for us.” Evelyn’s eyes softened, “Are you okay Bea?”

Was she? She was a bit…she didn’t know how to feel about what just happened. Yes, she was nervous at first but then she was so angry, she was so mad because this woman who had nothing to do with her life nor Rooster’s wanted to…intrude? Act up? For what? “I’m…I’m fine…It’s just, I feel a bit dizzy.” all that anger and fury probably dropped her blood pressure or something because she was feeling really woozy. Penny stepped up to Bea and ordered Shells to hold her other arm as they brought her back inside the bar.

They sat her down in one of the booths, Penny rubbing the back of Beatrice’s hand as Shells rushed out of the area to get some sugar water. Beatrice rubs her forehead with her palm heel,clenching her eyes and enduring the heavy toll her body had to deal with emotionally, her head pumping with a violent headache that only made things worse, “She’s done this before.” comes Evelyn’s voice, which makes both Penny and Beatrice turn their eyes her way, “According to my dad, she was interested in another guy before, didn’t work out, she tried showing up again and getting him back. It was never violent, she was never violent, but this shit isn’t going to go over well.”

Shells come back with a white mug filled with water, her aunt giving her a confused look but accepting it anyway, ‘There you go,Bea. Take…little sips.” she waits until the brunette brings the mug to her lips, scrunching her face at the pure sugar hitting her tongue, setting it down after just a few gulps. While the other women talked amongst themselves, Beatrice couldn’t help but repeat the weird events that happened seconds before.

This woman, this Chloe, showed up as if she was Bradley’s ex-girlfriend or something serious like that and tried to belittle her, belittle Bradley saying he was a liar and making her think he was with her out of pity?? The goblin voice crackled in the back of her mind, whispered growly voices making it’s way over her ear, planting doubt after doubt inside her brain. But it made no sense, because Rooster wasn’t like that, he wasn’t like that at all and he has proven that time and time again!

Then why was she having weird thoughts about it? Why was the goblin voice of doubt being louder than every other? Why was she questioning this? She hated it, so much and she knew she’d have to talk to Bradley about it because he'd definitely see if something was off with her. Would he be upset? How would he react? God she was so nervous, she only hoped that later tonight when they went back to his apartment they could have a good talk about this.

He wasn’t so different when he got to the bar, he greeted her as he normally would, he smiled at her like he normally would…but when they got back to his apartment, he got very quiet and his face seemed to stone in a mid frown that never disappeared. Even Jolene’s presence there didn’t seem to ease it and it got worse every time he looked at his phone.

Beatrice only stood by a distance, biting her lower lip watching his back move as he pulled his Hawaiian shirt from his body, folding in his hands, “Brad,” she calls and he stops, looking back at her with an inquisitive glance, “Are you okay?”

He inhales deeply, his smile not quite meeting his eyes, “Long day, gorgeous.” he says in a clipped tone, “Long, long day.” she chews her lower lip again, watching him rub his hands over his face and sighing against his palms. Beatrice wrung her hands together, unsure on how to tell him without making his day worse so she chose that it’d be better to help him unwind a little bit.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bradley rolls his lips into his mouth, his hands propped on his hips with another inhale going down his nose, “You know, I don’t think so.” that was weird, he usually wants to share if something is bothering him, “I don’t–” he shakes his head, not finishing the sentence.

Oh I wonder what could’ve happened to him. Maybe he saw that girl again and noticed he still had feelings for her and doesn't know how to tell you about it.

That wasn’t true. Bradley isn’t like that. “Are you sure?” she asks softly, watching how his shoulders tensed up and his body went rigid, but his face wasn’t turned towards her.

“I am very sure.” he says curtly, “I really don’t want to talk about it,Bea.”

Beatrice swallowed her saliva nervously, the sharp claw of fear and anxiety climbing up her spine as she watched Rooster disappear into his kitchen to get something. Maybe it was just work stuff he couldn’t tell her. Maybe that was why he was like that. She follows him into the kitchen, a glass of water being chugged down in harsh gulps until he thunked the glass on the sink, leaning his weight on it.

She didn’t know what to do and the doubtful voices in her head weren’t helping. “Do you want to order something?” she asks softly, stepping closer to him and disliking how he was walling himself up but choosing to not prod about it, “I know it’s late but I think that we can get some pizzas.”

Bradley clears his throat, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose where he rubbed it in slow circles, “Yeah. Sure.I can do pizzas.” his clipped tone was unnerving her more and more, it wasn’t helping her anxiety and fear with him acting like that.

Because he’s thinking how to break it to you that he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you…tubby.

No. That wasn’t true. It wasn’t true.

“Okay…I’ll…order it then.” The silence usually wasn’t uncomfortable like this and Beatrice didn’t know what to do. Her emotions had flared up ever since that afternoon and she felt she wouldn’t be able to keep it in for long. She didn’t want to make him even more upset with the information that…his ex-hookup showed up and tried belittling her like that. His ex-hookup that was…tall and skinny, looking like a brunette Gisele Bündchen with how perfect she was.

But wait, no she wasn’t perfect. She was just skinnier than Beatrice was and that didn’t mean that Beatrice’s body was wrong. She just did a photo shoot using swimwear and other clothing she’d never admit she thought about wearing before, so she wasn’t wrong. Her body wasn’t wrong and he loved her and her body.

Oh, but what if you’ve been mistaken?

She wasn’t mistaken, not about Rooster…not about how he feels when it comes to her. But the way he was acting right now was…really bothering her too much. He was never this quiet, he was never this brooding with her, “Roos.” she calls softly, following him out of the kitchen, where he stops by the hallway, “You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you,right?”

Bradley’s jaw moves, but he doesn’t speak, “I know.” was all he said, “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s just…well you are very quiet and I worry–”

“There’s nothing to worry about,Beatrice.” he doesn’t raise his voice, but he does sound snappy, ‘Whatever it is I’ll resolve it. There are some things that I have to do alone and I don’t need your help with.”

Oh.

“...oh.” was all she could reply, her mind going hundred miles a minute with all the fears and possibilities. He changed his mind about them, everything was right, she was wrong, everything was falling apart, she wasn’t deserving of happiness nor deserving of him, “...okay…”

Bradley sighs,running his hand down his face and muttering a ‘be right back’ as he steps into his room and then the ensuite bathroom, locking the door behind him. He puts his hands over his eyes, pacing around his bathroom as he tries to control his temper, trying to forget that Chloe showed up out of nowhere and decided to message him. He was sure he blocked her, he was sure he cut all contact.

God he was so pissed when she started suggesting things for them to do, as if they were just on a ‘break’ and he wasn’t dating Beatrice. He walked around his office just like he was now, trying to ease out the anger and annoyance. It took him so long to finally cut her off he didn’t even talk to Beatrice - lunch break was over and he was still getting rid of Chloe’s constant messages since just blocking her clearly wasn’t going to work.

Then he got mad because he wasted so much time getting rid of her he could barely say two words to Beatrice and then he fucked some stuff up - he also lost his favorite pen - and he had to take a few breathing breaks. Then at the bar, while he was still angry, seeing his girlfriend helped him calm down a little but he just kept thinking on how to tell Beatrice about Chloe and how to deal with this.

…speaking of which, he shouldn’t have acted like that with her. Beatrice wasn’t at fault for what happened and he should’ve just told her about it instead of locking himself in his bathroom and leaving her alone, “Fuck.” he groans against his hands, thinking how much this Chloe just bothered him to the point he was getting angry at people who had nothing to do with it, instead of her.

He took a few more calming breaths, hoping that Beatrice wasn’t too upset for him snapping at her like that - God, he never once did that to her, what was he fucking thinking? He gives him a look on the mirror, then leans down to open the faucet and wash his face the best he could, breathing out by his mouth before he steps out of the bathroom, “Bea,” he calls, walking past his bedroom’s threshold, “Bea, baby I’m sorry for–”

Where was she?

She was right in his living room when he went inside. Matter of fact, where was Beatrice and Jolene? The pittie wasn’t in her favored spot on the couch either. Bradley moved his eyes anxiously, she was probably in the kitchen, yes, she was going to order pizzas- she’s not in the kitchen either.

He tries not to panic, he couldn’t see her bag there either so…wait, did she leave? “Fuck, no,no no no.” he stomps his way to his front door, looking down the hallway and towards the elevators. His eyes widened seeing the numbers going down, “No, no no!Fuck! “ he doesn’t even bother to wait for the other one, he slams the fire escape door open and runs down the stairs, checking every floor to see if he still had time to reach her.

No, no, this couldn’t be happening. Beatrice couldn’t be leaving. Not like this, he had to tell her what happened! “Please, let me reach her. Please.” he ignored his throat burning and how his chest ached from running down the steps all the way down to the lobby. He has to take a quick break before he reaches the last door, yanking it open to check. Someone else was entering the elevator now, both of them, so Beatrice already left!

He had to hurry. He ran all the way outside, breathing heavily and looking around in hopes to see her down the street. She didn’t have a car, so she probably called an uber…but there were no cars, well, there was one, but it was now driving away from him– his keys, he needed to get his keys, “Fuck!” he once again didn’t take the elevator, going all the way back by the fire escape stairs, shouldering the door to his floor open.

His white tee was sticking to his back and chest, but he couldn’t care about it right now. He just inhaled shakily once he got to his apartment door, leaning on his hand to regain his breathing, “Okay,” he says between gulps of air, “Okay, I need my keys.” he wipes some beads of sweat that traveled down his temple and his cheekbones. He was starting to panic, what did he do? God, what did he do? He shouldn’t have said that. Why did he say that?

Where the fuck were his keys? He patted his jeans, then his tee - that had no pockets - cursing high and low. “Where the fuck are they, where the– excuse me a minute Jojo.” he steps over the tail wagging pitbull to reach the other side of the room…then he pauses. He pauses and slowly looks back to where Jolene now was, seated on her favorite spot in his couch, his eyes widening, “Wait, how are you here?”

“Roos?”

Was he dreaming? Was he imagining things? Because that was Beatrice’s voice. He looks up to the hallway, seeing Beatrice holding her bag in her hands, her eyebrows low and confused, “...Bea.You are here.”

The brunette’s eyes turn sadder, looking away from him, “...s-should I not be?”

“What? No!” He crosses the room in two strides, wrapping his arms around Beatrice so tight she drops her bag to the floor in surprise, her hands slowly coming up to touch his damp shoulder blades.

“Roos, why are you so sweaty? What happened?” she asked against his neck, blinking her big green eyes in surprise when he pulled back to smack her lips soundly, over and over, the girl’s face turning such a violent shade of red she looked ready to melt. “Roos- Roos what’s happ-” but his lips kept on hers, cupping her warm cheeks in his big hands, before he drops them to her thighs where he picks her up and carries her back to his bedroom. She barely has time to speak, between his lips on hers and the sudden shock of being carried over, she presses a hand to his wet and warm chest, pushing him the best she could.

He does break the kiss, but he keeps his face right above hers. “...Roos…wh-what is happening? Why are you drenched with sweat? Are you sick?”

“I…” the weight of his sudden workout finally hit him and he felt his chest heave out breath after breath “I…I thought you left, so I…I ran in hopes to get you. I’m sorry.”

“Rooster…why would I leave? I’m not understanding…”

“I snapped at you and you had nothing to do with what happened.” realization shone on her eyes, the same eyes that looked away from his ashamedly, her hand dropping from his chest to land on her stomach.

“I shouldn’t have pestered you–”

He shakes his head negatively, closing his eyes, “No. No this isn’t your fault.” he says gently, “I shouldn’t have done that. I…I was mad about something else and I just let it out on you and it was unfair.” her eyes return to his, hesitantly so, but he’s glad she’s looking at him again. “Pretty girl, you know I don’t get mad at you for worrying about me.”

Beatrice chews her lower lip, he could see the worry still in her eyes, in those big green eyes he fell in love with, “It’s just…you were acting weird and I thought…I thought I did something wrong.” that I was no longer good enough, she thinks, “And I…I guess my day has been kinda messy too so…”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, gorgeous. You didn’t, hey,” he cups her chin when she looks away, arching both of his eyebrows for emphasis, “You didn’t do anything wrong…I’m sorry for snapping at you. I really am.”

Beatrice takes a long while to reply, so long he almost feels she won’t do so, but she nods “I forgive you.” she whispers, which makes Rooster sigh out in relief, dropping his face to her neck where he breathed in her lavender scent - calmness and devotion - kissing the curve of her shoulder. “Do you want…to tell me what happened?”

He lifts his head from her neck, then looks over his shoulder to his bathroom, “Yeah but…maybe I might need to take a bath first…join me?” he didn’t like how she seemed to go back to hesitation, “If you don’t want it’s okay.”

“No,no I do.” she whispers, ‘It might help me get my mind out of things too.” she replies, giving him a small smile and following him when he stood up, offering her his hand. She grabs with the same smile, closing her eyes when he leans closer to kiss her forehead, then her lips one more time, leading them to the bathroom.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

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