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@justrainandcoffee Oh, Flor, this had me in stitches. I love them so much and you never disappoint in having Rose just destroy sexist, stupid men!

"It's not that bad, Al." "It's not that bad, Al," he mimicked her. "You know how many times you said that and it ended up being really bad?"

I am wheezing at their old married couple-style banter 😂

Them teaming up to just destroy Sir Nicholas made my whole day! Rose not backing down and continuing to make him more and more uncomfortable and ashamed of himself was just beautiful. Alfie better watch out, or Imma steal his wife from him! 🤭

How to train your wife (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)

Alfie Solomons x Rose Coldwell (ofc) - Masterlist

Summary: “To train a wife, first, you need a wife. Second, once you get one, keep her. It's easier than it seems. Like a dog, you know? But if I were you, I'll choose the third step: Run, because she's going to destroy you.” Or... How Alfie and Rose deal with that particular man during that boring meeting.

Warnings: Big doses of sass 😌. What do you expect? It's Alfie and Rose 😂 || Topics like sex, are also mentioned.

Words: 2.1k

1923.

"It's not that bad, Al."

"It's not that bad, Al," he mimicked her. "You know how many times you said that and it ended up being really bad?"

"I know, Alfie. But I don't have powers, love. I can feel it this time it'd be different, besides, I need you with me. It's important."

"It's really important?"

"To me it is. Baron and Baroness McBride are very wealthy people with many equally wealthy influences. She has been going to my meetings with other suffragettes and unlike other people of her level, she does take an interest in the cause. Financial support from someone like her makes a big difference. Not just there, for my school and all of Pebblebrook as well."

That site being the place where she founded a school for girls and also a women's shelter 12 years ago, financial help from anyone interested was always welcome. It helped keep the place up and running as it had from day one.

Alfie sighed. If there was one thing he hated, it was those kinds of eternal and boring meetings, disguised as cordiality and good intentions. For him the best meetings were in his office at the distillery, in the morning and with a gun in his waistband. No more than five minutes. Ten, if your last name was Shelby.

But his Rosie was special. Alfie knew Rose needed the support of someone like the baroness. So he agreed to accompany her. The smile she had given him, was enough for him.

"Besides, we're going to have a nice bedroom. The baroness left everything ready for us to enjoy our stay there. It's only one night and we can sleep there until the next morning."

"A bedroom? In that fucking place! I didn't know that. Look at my wife, surrounding herself with rich people."

"Your wife is well-connected, love."

"My wife is a fucking treasure, luv," he replied.

.

The place where the McBrides lived was literally a palace and everything screamed luxury. From horses with gold trimmed saddles, carriages with gems to the walls, floors and staircase of the finest marble.

Pretending to belong to that social class was something Alfie loathed and he knew she did too. But, unlike him, Rose had learned to pretend to be one of those elegant refined Brits since she was 18. And that hadn't changed even when she only belonged to the aristocracy for less than four years.

It wasn't the first time Alfie had seen her smile at those who in any other context she would have spat on their feet. And this was the case. If she wanted collaboration for her school, she had to be one of them. Rose was a wolf in sheep's clothing. Because Alfie knew that at the slightest wrong comment, the facade she put up at every meeting would go to hell. All it took was a spark to start the fire. But so far that had never happened.

The dinner may have been delicious and Alfie had to admit that the old baroness was an intelligent, perceptive and kind woman, but he also reminded himself to tell Rose that the rest of the guests were just a bunch of snobs who could tell the salad fork from the meat fork, but couldn't tell who the prime minister was or why there were clouds when it rained.

Alfie had often tried not to let the past get to him, but it was hard when he thought that when he was a kid he would go down the streets of those fancy houses selling bread and almost all of them would slam the door in his face. Those same people who were now sitting next to him, eating oysters from the Mediterranean Sea.

Rose must have sensed that something was bothering him because without stopping talking to the woman next to her, she placed a hand on his and Alfie gently caressed it. That simple touch had cleared away the haze that had begun to affect his mind at that moment.

The rest of the dinner went rather better. But not better than when the McBride couple invited the rest to go to the lounge where they had arranged everything so that the guests could relax and converse more at ease, and more informally than during dinner as well.

From one of the armchairs, Alfie watched Rose talking to the baroness and really hoped that what she was looking for would work out for her, because she deserved it. He had left her alone at that moment because there he would do nothing but get in the way and secondly, because his back was beginning to bother him.

Alone and with no one to bother him, he felt at ease. But perhaps, life had told him he was already too comfortable so to Alfie's displeasure, a man sat down next to him ignoring the frown he had been wearing for the last half hour in the hope that he would be left alone.

"Good evening, Mr…"

"Solomons."

"Mr. Solomons!" The man held out his hand and Alfie, with no other choice, took it, "I am Sir Nicholas Reynolds. Old friend of the McBrides. You know them too? I haven't heard your name before."

Just as well.

"I don't know them, Sir Nicholas, but my wife does. She is a friend of the baroness and it is because of my wife that I am here."

"You are not interested in politics?"

"No. Not at all. I am a man of another kind of business."

"Which?" Sir Nicholas settled back in the armchair, looking at Alfie with interest. He looked at him as if he had never seen a man who could wipe his ass with politics, if he could have. Alfie scratched his beard.

"Bakery," he replied simply.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rose saw how her husband was visibly uncomfortable with the man sitting next to him. Excusing herself to the baroness for a moment, she took a canapé from the table there and carefully carried it over to where Alfie was.

"Are you all right, love? I brought you this."

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'm fine, yes." Alfie and she looked at each other, too many years together served as telepathy. The woman averted her eyes to the stranger and smiled as she extended her hand to him. "Rose Solomons, wife of Alfred. My pleasure."

Sir Nicholas, kissed her hand. Lovely woman to be next to someone as brutish looking as that Alfred Solomons.

"Pleasure is mine, Mrs. Solomons," Sir Nicholas smiled at her as well.

"I don't want to interrupt your man talk, but, Alfie, do you need anything else?"

"No. I'm fine. Thank you, Rosie."

"All right, anything at all, let me know."

Both men watched her walk away. Sir Nicholas seemed to be fascinated by her and Alfie was beginning to notice. It didn't bother him, quite the contrary when that happened he used to enjoy how she simply shoo them away. And this seemed to be one of those occasions. And it was, only Alfie had never heard what the man would say next.

"How did you train your wife?"

No. Alfie looked at him thinking he'd misheard. He couldn't have said that.

"Sorry?"

"I said how did you train your wife. To be at your service. If you want this or that or reaching for food when you didn't ask for it? I was married three times, Mr. Solomons, none of them I could train like that."

Alfie chuckled. He'd heard right at last. Oh, that was going to be fun.

"How did I train Rosie to wait on me? Easy. Bit by bit. First I got married, because as I always say, to train your wife you must first have one and I didn't have one. Rosie is wild by nature so sometimes she wants to rebel, but you don't let that happen. Like that dog that wants to run away but then doesn't know how to get back. Second, to keep a wife, you have to know what can go wrong if you make a mistake in training. Like giving vegetables to a cat, it will go away because it's a carnivore… and third, have fun. Like me now. Rose!" Alfie called to his wife and she came over again. Only this time he invited her to sit on his knee.

Oblivious to the man's question, she looked at her husband. There was something in Alfie's gaze. She had known that look since they were children. And it meant only one thing: trouble. But trouble the good kind, the kind she used to enjoy.

"What is it, love?"

"My friend Sir Nicholas is interested in our relationship. He wants to know how I went about training you to be at my beck and call."

Rose raised an eyebrow and looked at the gentleman who had blushed slightly. Training a woman? That was something she hadn't heard before and that was saying a lot considering she'd heard everything in her job. From that you had to lock all women in a kitchen or the bedroom to only have children to something much worse like how to kill them. But she had never heard anyone say that a woman should be trained by her husband. So that was why Alfie had called her? To finish his job? Rose wss ready.

"Oh," Rose said accepting the invitation to sit on Alfie's knee. "That's interesting."

"I didn't mean training," Sir Nicholas began to say feeling her gaze on him. "I meant…"

"Out of three marriages he had," Alfie interrupted, "no one could be trained like I trained you, love."

"Well, because you're special," Rose continued to look at the man, despite the fact that she was talking to her husband. "You haven't confessed your secret to him, have you?"

Alfie didn't answer and let her continue speaking. "The answer is easy, Sir Nicholas: sex. Are you comfortable with talking about sex, Sir Nicholas?"

"Ehm… yes."

"Yes or no, Sir Nicholas? Because if you want to train your future wife you should be able to talk about sex openly. About dicks and vaginas and sex positions and orgasms. Are you comfortable?"

"Not in front of a lady."

"Oh, but I'm not a lady. I was trained. Like a dog, sir Nicholas. My mind is empty like the void and I can only think about Alfie and his dick the same way a dog thinks about food when he hears the ring. That's all I have in my mind because I was conducted. Have you heard about Pavlov?" The man nodded "well, that's the answer."

Was Sir Nicholas was expecting that conversation when he put his eyes on Rose? Clearly not. But he should have known better.

"So," Rose continued ignoring him. Alfie hid his face on her shoulder to cover his smile, "we're in 1923, I married Alfie in 1911. That means 12 years. If Alfie and I we have sex five times a week that means 20 times per month. Each time I came at least twice. And that's only an average. I'm sure there's more."

"I should…"

"I didn't finished, sir Nicholas. Let a woman finish if you want to keep her happy and being your slave. So, twice each time. I'm not counting all the times I visit him at his workplace, if that desk could talk… nor the times we had sex when we were teens. That's are two years more. Back then, we were like rabbits, Sir Nicholas. Doing the maths…" Rose stopped a moment to think, " about nine thousand orgasms. Maybe more. 10? Ten thousand orgasms is a good number, don't you think? And you asked yourself how did he do to train me to be a good wife? Well… I must be stupid if I let him go. Which I am, apparently. Because you know better than me that a woman should be trained by a man to be someone, don't you?" Now the sweet look she had, was replaced by a cold stare. Sir Nicholas gulped and decided that was enough. Without words, he stood up and go to somewhere else. Maybe, next time he could choose his words more carefully.

"Fucking loser," she said sat now where he was, next to Alfie.

"Indeed." He looked at her and raised his hand. Rose did the same and high-fived him. "One less."

After a moment in silence, both of them contemplating the rest of the guests. Rose finally talked again.

"You owe me two, Alfie."

"Darling, if we leave this fucking boring meeting right now, I'll give you four."

Rose looked sideways and smiled naughtily. "Deal."

.

"What if I write a book? 'How to train your wife'" said Alfie later that night in bed, when neither of them had more energies "it'd be a best seller."

"You're not talking seriously." Rose lifted her head from the pillow to look at him.

"Well, maybe I am."

"Really, Alfie? Well, I have an advice for you: buy 'how to train your husband' first. And read rule number one: let him believe he's in charge. In fact, that's it! there's only one rule, that one. Write the book, Al. Good luck, sweetheart."

Alfie chuckled. She won and after all, he never wanted to write that book.

#rose coldwell #rose coldwell x alfie solomons #peaky blinders #flor 🖤

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*sees a beloved mutual in the notes* hi honey

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Jared Harris as Professor James Moriarty in A Game of Shadows

Mathematical genius. Celebrated author and lecturer. Boxing champion at Cambridge […] feral but experienced.

#jared harris went SO HARD in this role and i love him for it #james moriarty #sherlock holmes: a game of shadows

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#good god this scene #listening to holmes scream...i forgot how haunting it was #sherlock holmes #james moriarty #sherlock holmes: a game of shadows

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@evita-shelby Thank you, Juli! 🖤 This was one of the first smutty pieces I wrote, and I'm still quite proud of it!

Part 1: These Devilish Intentions

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Matthew told her no one would ever want her after what he did to her. He couldn’t have been more wrong. 

Word Count: 4,621

Notes: Warnings for depictions of smut and references to past sexual assault. Also Tommy being the biggest softy when it comes to his girl.

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 8: Dancing with the Devil

“Ha! I win!” she set her cards down on the table, leaning back smugly. Tommy snorted, the amusement for once unhidden in his eyes as he scooped up her cards and dealt another hand.

The celebrations at the Garrison were in full swing, laughter and the clinking of glasses thundering throughout the pub. Even Polly seemed to be enjoying herself, her serious features relaxed into a laugh as she listened to John ramble drunkenly. At one point, Arthur leapt up onto the bar, glass of whiskey sloshing. 

Keep reading

#comment reblog #juli 🖤

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@evita-shelby Thank you! I knew that had to be her nickname once I gave her the red hair!

Part 1: These Devilish Intentions

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Lucy earns herself a new name and a fearsome reputation.

Word Count: 3,170

Notes: Warnings for depictions of blood, violence, murder, and drugging.  

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic 

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 7: The Red Demon

There was a new woman working behind the bar. A tiny thing, with black hair and shining green eyes, light freckles doting her nose. Jeremy could have sworn that he’d seen her before, but he couldn’t place where. Not that it was of much concern; here barmaids tended to come and go.

He kept his eyes trained on the door, forever prepared to sound the alarm should a familiar face obscured by a newsboy cap appear across the threshold. There was almost no one else in the pub aside from their little group of rebels; just two women smoking in the corner and giggling.

Keep reading

#comment reblog #juli 🖤

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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

#unfortunately yes #polls

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Naomie Harris as Eve Moneypenny in Skyfall. 2012. dir. Sam Mendes

#i would stab someone for her #eve moneypenny #skyfall #james bond

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SOME THINGS I LOVE: [6/20] Scenes Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

“I will be free. And when I am, I would give you my heart and we would be together always, if only you had a heart to give.”

#i will refrain from again going on a multi paragraph nerd rant about cgi in film and how these films still LOOK SO GOOD #in comparison to so many modern films despite being made in the 2000s #davy jones #calypso #tia dalma #pirates of the caribbean #pirates of the caribbean: at world's end

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Oh Lucy would LOVE this! She would 100% make puns about 'killing people with love' 😂

A flintlock rifle with a twisted barrel and heart shaped bore from 1765, formerly owned by George IV, now part of the Royal Collection Trust

More: https://bio.link/museumofartifacts

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@evita-shelby Thank you, Juli! I'm so glad to see you're enjoying it! 🖤😄

Part 1: These Devilish Intentions

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: A brewing situation gives Lucy the chance to prove herself, but only at the risk of her own life.

Word Count: 2,661

Notes: No warnings this time.

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic 

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 6: Black Heart

“Do you think I should dye my hair?”

Tommy looked up from where he’d been rolling a cigarette between his fingers, digesting the report Lucy had just given him on her findings surrounding the man she’d been following for the past few weeks.

Keep reading

#comment reblog #juli 🖤

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@evita-shelby I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I took way more joy out of writing this chapter than I probably should have 🤭. Lucy's habit of castrating rapists is so much fun to play with 😈.

Part 1: These Devilish Intentions

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: A situation involving a local girl dredges up Lucy’s past traumas.

Word Count: 3,040

Notes: Warnings for depictions of violence and references to sexual assault.   

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic 

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 4: The Devil’s Embrace

There was dirt in her mouth. All around her it was cold and dark. Her body hurt; the ache so deep and profound that she couldn’t even remember what it felt like to not be in pain. Shivering, eyes able to open only a sliver or else risk getting dirt in them, she scratched her hands upwards, attempting to dislodge the soil pressing down on top of her. Pushing her hands upwards again, it was hard to tell if she had made any progress. Dirt wedged underneath her fingernails but she kept going, legs also flailing as she grew more desperate, kicking as if she were trying to swim. On the next sweeping movement of her hand she disrupted the tiny air pocket around her head, and now she couldn’t breathe, the soil seeming to weigh twice as much as her lungs fought to gasp for air. She thrashed wildly, attempting to force her way upwards, but the movements just dislodged more dirt onto her. How did she even know that they had buried her facing upwards? For all she knew, she was just deepening her own grave. And now she couldn’t breathe, movements slowing, thoughts crumbling away…

Lucy woke up in free fall, hitting the floor with a yelp of surprise as, in her wild thrashing and turning, she rolled herself clean off the bed. For a moment she just laid there, half covered by the blanket she had taken with her in her fall. Eyes fixing up at the ceiling, her chest heaved with each grateful breath as her body remembered that it was no longer trapped under the ground.

Keep reading

#comment reblog #juli 🖤

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@evita-shelby Thank you, Juli! 🖤 This was such a fun moment to write with them just have a nice, quiet moment together and being able to connect regarding their similar traumas.

Part 1: These Devilish Intentions

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Tommy and Lucy realize they may be more alike than either of them could have thought.

Word Count: 2,769

Notes: Warnings for references to past sexual assault.

Masterlists: Main • Series • Fic

Previous Part • Next Part

Chapter 3: Where Secrets Lie

She rode without a saddle, well experienced in riding bareback thanks to her time spent with her Romani cousins in the mountains. Beside her, Tommy sat astride a beautiful stallion. He looked nearly regal, like he had been made for the sole purpose of riding horses. 

The Lees were camped out not too far from town next to a small stream, shaded by the huge trees growing nearby. Little wagons dotted the area, men and women milling about, doing assorted tasks around the camp. There were a handful of children running around, but they were quickly ushered inside wagons or tents as soon as their parents noticed her and Tommy’s approach. 

Keep reading

#comment reblog #juli 🖤

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Hi, Laur!! For the oc game:

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

Thank you for the ask, Flor! 🖤

I'm answering these for Lucy from the Love Me Where I'm Most Ruined series!

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

She loves and is an extremely accomplish horseback rider, and takes her horses out whenever she gets the opportunity. She also loves wood whittling, often making little figurines to give as gifts to people. And she enjoys playing cards or chess.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Two faced. While she often makes an effort to be warm and friendly to everyone, that sometimes is not a reflection of her true feelings about them, and she is known for telling secrets told to her in confidence to Tommy.

Emotionally avoidant. She has horrible fears of being annoying or a burden, and often doesn't want to trouble others with her emotionally issues, including feelings like insecurity or depression. She prefers to just keep them to herself and not tell anyone how she is actually feeling, which of course then means that no one can reassure her or help her to feel better. This gets progressively worse for awhile as the series continues.

Ruthless. She is not merciful at all, and is particularly violent when she needs to be.

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

Loyal. I've always felt that Lucy's best and worst trait is her loyalty to Tommy. She loves and trusts him so much, and no matter what he does, she'll always support him and be by his side. But that also means that she ends up excusing away some of his terrible behavior, and dismissing some genuinely legitimate issues that some people have with him.

Friendly. She's a sweetheart, and is generally very thoughtful and emotionally intelligent. She tries her best to be nice to others.

Dependable. There's a reason Tommy trusts her more than anyone. She's competent in her job and can be relied on to get things done.

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

She's somewhere in between being open-minded and stubborn. Probably leaning a bit more towards stubborn. It depends on the topic.

She's incredibly inquisitive. She loves to learn, and is constantly reading books about new topics that interest her and seeking out new knowledge on things. Almost always, she's teaching herself a new language.

Details about OCs!

Send me an ask

#lucy winters #my ocs #laur replies

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“I hadn’t spent a day without thinking about you.” — PEAKY BLINDERS

#my babies i'm sobbing #tommy shelby #grace burgess #peaky blinders

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Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

#oooo #saving these as refs for lucy's arena in the hunger games au! #caves #references

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which is definitely not an omen