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atyourmerci · 29 days

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☀︎To the light is to the darkness✩

Abby X reader X Ellie

Prologue to vengeance (can be read alone)

☀︎ ☀︎

Summary: Abby is your childhood best friend, you did everything together, taught each other everything. You were utterly infatuated with each other until Ellie Williams enters your world.

Warning: smut, MDNI, porn w lots of plot, innocence arc, mutual pining, lots of sexual tension, mutual masturbation (in the same room, together), fingering if you squint, useless lesbians, lesbian love triangle, abby needs a hug, phoebe bridgers as her own warning, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader

A/N: okay so holy fuck did I get carried away with this one. I didn’t want to leave yall on a cliffhanger but this dynamic deserves more and I don’t want to rush through it. I hope yall enjoy. This chapter is mostly just abby but there will be lots more Ellie in the next chapter promise :)

✩ ✩

“Someone you couldn’t lose. You said we’re not together, so now when we kiss I have anger issues.”

She asked when it had all started. The truth was you weren’t really sure. There was no definitive date or period of time that signified the beginning or end of it.

A relationship that felt more of interlacing two souls into one that resided in two structures. Shared autonomy of mind, breath, word, and body. Unspoken feelings, touches, and stares.

What started in green fields of pink flowers and brown roots ended in dark rooms and pining embraces. Hand shakes turning into interlaced fingers, laughter filled glances turning into tense stares, and experimental pecks turning into open mouthed pants.

The first time you meet abby was at school at 15. Bright eyed and bushy tailed still untainted from the reality of the world around you. You were quite shy in those years, keeping yourself away from the wild hairs of children ready to grow up and take charge. You were okay with the stability of childhood, the sticky sweet feeling of safety and uncharted terror.

Before Abby’s dad had died, before the muscles and long locks of golden blonde hair she was reserved too. Abby was wrapped in a bubble of comfort, a loving community that doted on her. She felt no need to join the crowd of chaos when she had everything she needed.

Well she thought she did…and then she met you.

In class you had your face shoved into a notebook doodling away of ferns and dandelions you had seen in the fields early that day. If it were up to you, you’d spend every last dying breath in the fields, soaking in sunlight and trailing your fingers through the rows of flowers.

Abby sat next to you in class, always too shy to speak up to you. You always seemed so busy, either reading, drawing, or with your head in the clouds, never truly listening to the lecture ahead. She admired your creativity, attention to detail, and the utter sense of unawareness to your surroundings. She wondered why you didn’t talk to the others, you were so inviting, so pretty. She once wished to look like you, how effortlessly magnificent you looked.

She grew too curious, over zealous at the thought of being close to you, understanding you. She knew she had to speak up.

“H-hey you draw pretty cool- I mean- it’s really good…what you draw.”

You had never taken more than a glance at the freckled girl until then. She always seemed just as busy as you, so you never bothered her.

You let out a bellied laugh at the now crimson red faced girl- completely embarrassed by her attempt at recognition.

And that was that. The two of you were inseparable, attached at the hip from then on out.

Abby seemed to understand your weird quirks and odd fascinations. Even when she didn’t, she was there open minded and wide eyed to hear your lengthy ramblings on about nothingness.

Sometimes it felt like you did most of the talking. Not that it was one sided or you wouldn’t let her butt in, but rather she was completely enamored by what you thought. Sometimes all she wanted to do was to hear you talk, you were her favorite person, the own mold of herself.

She wanted to think what you thought, feel what you felt, see the world through your eyes.

As the years went on you only seemed to grow closer to abby as she grew fonder of you.

Some could call it an obsession, the way you treated each other. Not a single thought went by that the other didn’t know. If you were there, so was abby. If you knew something, so did she.

Everyday she would follow you to the fields after school, your special escape you’d learn to share with the other half of your being.

You’d make her lay across the flower ridden fields so you could draw her glistening hair kissed by the whisk of wind. She let her hair grow longer since you’d ask to braid it for her every morning. She liked it short but she wanted to let you have room to make intricate designs and lace them with weeds you’d found.

Abby would playfully nudge you when you’d draw the hump on her nose in the drawings, but you loved it too much to not appreciate it. You loved all the things she couldn’t in herself.

You two spent hours out in the field daily, even when it rained you’d make her dance around like fairies as mud splattered across your shins. Anything you wanted, she’d do as long as it was with you.

That’s when you asked her to try kissing, she’d obliged.

“Have you ever…kissed anyone?” You ask staring off into the cloud painted sky, tall grass framing your bodies.

She lets out a breathy giggle, “no… you would know if I did.”

You shrug, shoulder crashing gently into hers, “I don’t know, maybe it was too embarrassing to say.”

She trails off, “h-have you?”

“No dumbass you would know…” you push your shoulder into her turning to give her a toothy smile, “what if I’m not good when a boy kisses me?”

Her eyes remained trained onto the pillowy cloud, “you can try on me- I-if you want to.”

It was a good idea, she wasn’t going to judge you, she was your best friend, she was only there to help.

“Okay.” And without a second thought your upper body shot up and lent over hers, pressing your lips into her plush pink ones. It was gentle, only a placement amongst the flesh, yet so charged. Butterflies fluttered through your stomach and up to your throat, something you had only felt once before when you and abby went swimming.

Closeness you thought. Being close to someone causes that. How nice it was to be so close to your favorite person, maybe one day you could feel close to someone again.

After that you continued to experiment kissing. At sleepovers you’d talk about the boys you wanted to kiss, then show each other how you would kiss them. It turned into an innocent routine, pecking her before she would leave, kissing her in the fields when you felt the butterflies.

You’d told her about them- the fluttering in your stomach. Whenever you felt them she told you that she wanted to feel them too. Transferring them through the soft pink flesh, she’d say she’d feel them after.

Soon she’d tell you when she got them, to which you’d return the gesture back. As time went on, the butterflies came more often.

People were starting to notice the relationship, started talking about how close the two of you were. You’d shoo off the irrational comments and over zealous accusations, but abby never did. She just didn’t respond.

“Who am I to ask for more? But you’re breathing in my open mouth. You’re the gun in my lips that will blow my brains out.”

Abby started spending the night daily, she practically lived in your room at that point. After her dad died your relationship grew stronger than ever. In such a treacherous time she clung to the only person who truly understood her. Many a nights she spent huddled into a ball in your lap weeping as you smoothed the hair behind her ear and rubbing circles into the grown muscles in her back.

Abby had taken to working her emotions out in physical labor. Now being a solider full time out of school she had grown muscular and more rough. Her heart was still the same for you, but had grown caged off to the people around you.

Her pleasantries for the rest of the community had grown stale, only allowing a few to get near her. But you… there was always an indefinite spot inside her for you.

Since abby was always around now, in the darkness of every night, privacy had flown right out the window. Not that you had minded- there wasn’t much of really anything abby didn’t know or hadn’t seen.

But when that eery sense of familiarity crept up, when the butterflies would come at night.

She had started out sleeping on the extra bed in your room. Before she had practically moved in she’d sleep with you, but since her stay turned to no vacancy she’d taken to given you the last sense of space, even when you hadn’t asked.

In the middle of darkness as the crickets chirped outside the window you’d tell her the feeling had come back, and she’d always agree, and the room would fall silent again.

“Abby?” You call out to a darkened room, illuminated by the shine of the moon.

“Yeah?” She’d call back from the other side.

“Do you ever…fix the feelings of the butterflies. Like make them go away?”

“Uh yeah- sometimes…when it gets bad.”

“I think mine are…bad right now,” it felt embarrassing almost, there was nothing she could do to help, fix your issue. Transferring the butterflies to abby only made them worse sometimes, and you were boiling.

“M-mine too,” she admits.

“You can fix it- if you need to.”

“A-re you going to stop yours?”

“Is that okay?” You say reluctantly into the tense air coating you. Every slight move felt with a million nerves.

“Mhmm,” she responds, a rustling heard coming from her direction.

Soft hums filled the air from the feeling of release you had allowed yourself in the presence of your best friend. Abby’s breathy moans would only follow quickly after your own, never before.

Dual release become a routine. Allowing the sticky sweet sensations of climaxing in the same bedroom of your other half. It became another thing you shared with her, another check on the list of the endeavors you’d participated in with her.

Talks of the butterflies and the unleashing of them never left those four chipping walls. Some things were meant for just Abby’s ears. All best friends must do the same. You’d never heard of others talk of sorts so you sealed your lips, a secret kept like a bird in a cage.

As you both had grown accustomed to the routine things gradually got more intense. Sometimes you couldn’t get the butterflies to fly away even when you tried for hours, panting out whimpers of frustration. Even when they would go away sometimes they would crept back in immediately, your body unable to be satiated.

Abby begun sleeping in the bed with you, to calm the frustrating unnerve you felt after no avail. She’d tell you she wish she could help you, make them go away. She’d do anything to make you happy.

That’s when you started touching yourselves next to each other. The routine was upheld for so long that it felt natural to do it even when she was right next to you. First fully covered, then in undergarments, to finally completely bare.

Seeing Abby’s bare flesh only made it worse. You weren’t stupid, the pieces were falling into place before your eyes. But you hadn’t seen anyone else naked before, maybe it would be the same. Her flesh so pale, her nipples shades of pale pink roses, and the hair that trailed down to her folds as golden as wheat. You had never seen something so magnificent, so beautifully crafted.

That was something you didn’t share with her. The drawings of her bare flesh. You made sure to memorize each chisel, line, and freckle to be as accurate as possible once you got to your notebook. With every piece of her revealed opening thousands of opportunities to draw her art. She was so fucking beautiful.

“When was the first time?” The auburn girl had asked you.

It all had meshed into a blur, what had happened and when it did. When you and abby had started sleeping together it started on opposite ends. Heat not close enough to sting your flesh but the air still tense enough to be cut clean with a blade. As time grew on and the routine becoming daily, the space between you started to close in. Knees brushing as your legs wavered, arms transferring sticky sweat in the blistering heat of arousal.

The inevitable placement of foreheads touching as you watched each other fall apart, watching the butterflies flutter out of her throat with every pant.

From what you could call the ‘beginning’ of sorts, rather an act of mercy, came from her.

You found yourself in the familiar position of unnerve. Rubbing aimless quick circles on your abused clit. It became a matter of principle at the point, needing to fulfill the urge even knowing the outcome would leave you more helpless than before. Abby’s butterflies were far gone, now rubbing lazy stripes down her slit in attempt to not let you feel alone. She never wanted you to feel like she wasn’t completely enthralled by your every move.

Your leg sprawled across her own, wide open, bucking your hips into the air as you let out frustrated grunts, eyes sealed shut in concentration. She just watched. She loved watching you touch yourself. Abby felt like the luckiest girl in the world getting to watch you, kiss you, feel you. She wanted to feel more of you, every atom in your body she’d kiss if you’d allow it.

“Let me help” she said, eyes trained on your open mouth.

Your brain was too fuzzy to even comprehend the depth of the act, so pent up and eager.

“Mhmm,” was all you could muster up. As her calloused fingers transferred from her skin to your abdomen, your body jolted up. You had never been touched by another. Not like this. She took her time running the tips of her fingers from your side to the mound, taking your hand and moving it your thigh so she could replace it with her own.

Something deep in your belly erupted when you felt her fingers meet your clit. A flock of doves released from their cage, a gasping goldfish meeting water. An exaggerated sigh of relief came out as a depraved moan. Every nerve in your body heightened by her gentle touch.

She drew cautious and attentive swipes across the newly swollen bud, watching for when your breath would hitch.

“You’re so warm,” she said studying your face as it contorted in pleasure. Your chin raised high, burying your scalp into the frilly pillows below. She had then studied the flesh around your neck, oh why had she never noticed that. How thin the skin was there, how close she could get to you in that space.

“I-it feels b-better when you do it,” you admit to her, water in her hands, hips grinding into the soft touch of her. “Y-yeah really?” She says, perking up, so pleased with knowing she could make you feel better. She’d do anything to make you feel better.

You let your stagnant hand run down her chiseled chest to meet her mound, her sticky slit pooling at her core. You meant to return the favor, an eye for an eye. “It’s okay- just let me help you.”

You shook your head in agreement, but let your hand rest on the pulsing flesh, you wanted to feel her like she felt you.

With every gentle circle she took you closer to release. It was so much faster when she did it. When you did it together before you would lie there for hours flicking at the raw skin to no avail, but in minutes she had you tipping at your edge.

Her strokes felt akin to the ones on your notebook, gentle and cautious direction, seeking a desirable outcome. You’d thought to picture this, able to recreate this on paper shielded from her eyes. What would she think if she saw them? Maybe you’d grown too fond of the other half of your heart.

“Abby!” You scream out, nearing your pending release.

“Y-yeah? D-does it feel okay- are you okay?” She perks up in concern, helplessly worried she had hurt you.

“Yes- Yes! It- it’s coming,” you pant out, body slick with sweat as your arousal pools below you. A sloppy mess of bodies interlaced with remorseless pleasure.

“Let me feel them, I want to feel them,” abby says inches from your face, intently watching the contortions of your face below her. The butterflies, oh how she wished she could flutter in your tummy as they do so effortlessly.

You cave shamelessly, pressing into the soft pink flesh. You try to keep them stable, but as you reach the cliffs edge you can’t help but moan pathetically into her throat. Your hips thrust into the calloused fingers, chasing the lasting feelings of her, escaping your doom and passing the burden through your lips onto hers.

You did draw of this, and every time after that. It became an obsession, mental images snapshotted to accuracy for replication later.

The routine increased in frequency and intensity. Exploring each other’s most sacred places. She would let you touch her sometimes, but only when she was touching you. Abby seemed more interested in your pleasure than her own. But she cared about you, she never wanted you unsettled. She wanted to be your salvation.

“I ask you how you’re doing and I let you lie. But we don’t have to talk about it, I can walk you home and practice method acting. I’ll pretend being with you doesn’t feel like drowning.”

“Does she make you feel them?”

She asked when it had all started. The truth was you weren’t really sure. There was no definitive date or period of time that signified the beginning or end of it.

Ellie Williams was so…vulgar, erratic, a ticking time bomb. The pieces of the puzzle connected at last when you lied eyes on the auburn haired girl.

She had entered the WLF as gentle as a bomb to a building. Fiery hot attitude, a chip on her shoulder, and drowning green eyes. At first glance she utterly captivated your ever fleeting thoughts.

When she first walked through the corridors of the stadium your eyes fixed on her, staring rudely at her every move. “Who is that, the girl?” You ask the unfazed blonde next to you, too busy working at sharpening a blade, “names Ellie, they say she’s trouble. By the looks of her, checks out.”

“What did she do? Why is she here?” You continue your glare, taking note of the pink scare rippled along the crest of her eye.

You had never drawn anyone other than abby, but the girls features were so strong, the strokes would come naturally in your grasp. A secret muse possibly, even from a far.

“I don’t know- stay away from her. She reeks of trouble,” she’d remark, finishing off the blade and leading you off to a pending mission.

You tried, you really did. She was so compelling, and you? You were a bee to honey. Was she soft unlike her features? Did she speak of the world beyond her? Did she like to watch the clouds mesh into unlikely objects? Did she know of the butterflies and their ever present existence in your lungs?

Your notebook grew of only her, the short frayed hair, the pink scare, the freckles that littered her face. So effortlessly magnificent she was, unknowingly your own secret work of art.

Until abby found them.

Related to this work

Song lyrics: casual , waiting room , cool about it

Moodboard

If you enjoy the childhood best friend trope with abby highly recommend this fic by @kieranscaren she writes beautifully and gave me great inspiration for this work:)

Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson5 @lookforthelight1 @fict1onallyobsessed @shewantstoknow @a-little-bit-of-everybody

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fxrmuladaydreams · 7 months

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use me (mv33)

max x reader

summary: max needs a way to take his frustrations out, you offer yourself to him

notes: !! contains smut minors dni !! i have other stories in the works but as a max girlie this took precedent, it had to be done after watching the singapore quali

You were on the edge of your seat watching the remaining 15 cars zoom around the track. Both the Red Bulls had been having issues during the weekend, not driving as fast as they had been in previous races.

You watched as your boyfriend, the reining world champion, made his final lap in Q2, scoring fairly low, and just falling further down the list as other drivers crossed the line. Liam Lawson of all people was the one to push Max down to 11th. You had to admit the kid was talented, but you knew Max was going to be very unhappy with the results.

You knew you were right when you saw Max get out of his car before they had even pulled it into his garage. He stormed away, pulling his helmet off his head as someone practically had to chase after him.

“He’s going to be pleasant.” A voice pulled your attention away from the scene in front of you.

Christian stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his headset now resting around his neck.

“He’ll be fine.” You tell him, however you know just how explosive Max can get when he doesn’t do well.

“You should go see him, calm him down. He won’t kill you.”

You snort. “Right.”

“Think you can calm him down in the next 30 minutes?” He asks.

“I can try.” You stand up to start heading in the direction Max walked off in.

You find him sitting in a corner, drinking from his water bottle, his eyes trained on the ground ahead of him.

You stand next to him and run a hand through his hair. While he would usually lean into you, craving more of your touch, he doesn’t react now, unmoving from his current position.

“How are you?” You ask, in an attempt to tread safely.

He scoffs, shaking his head. “I’m great, how are you?” He doesn’t hide the sarcasm in his tone.

You tilt his chin up so that he’s looking you in the eyes. You can practically see the anger swimming around in the blue eyes you fell in love with.

“You know the press are going to eat you alive if you walk in with that attitude.” You tell him.

He rolls his eyes, and looks back down ahead of him. “They’ll be cheering, dancing on my grave.”

You glance down at your watch. 25 minutes until Max will be needed for press. 25 minutes to bring back your happy Max.

“C’mon.” You take his hand, and slowly pull him up.

“Where are we going?” He asks, following you.

You lead him back to Red Bull hospitality, taking him up to his driver’s room. It’s small, a massage table sits in the corner, a shelf against the wall with more race suits and fireproofs.

“You need to get your anger out before you go do press.” You tell him as you lock the door.

“What, do you want me to throw things around the room?” He asks with his hands on his hips.

“I want you to fuck me.” You tell him, your voice completely serious.

He looks shocked for a moment. The two of you were always pretty private in your relationship, never showing too much PDA, and never having sex anywhere outside of your home. His shock soon dissipates, and turns into thoughtfulness, as if he’s thinking about the risk versus the reward.

You walk towards him in the center of the room. Your hands lift to his shoulders, softly massaging them before your arms wrap around his neck. You lean your head towards his, softly nudging your nose against his. He already looks like he’s losing his self control, his eyes watch your lips as you whisper to him.

“Use me, Max.”

He dives down to kiss you, his lips firm against yours. There’s no asking for permission for his tongue to enter your mouth, it pushes past your lips and tangles with yours.

You grip onto his hair as he hoists you up on the massage table. He stands between your legs, trailing his lips down your neck, leaving a trail of teeth marks on any skin he can find.

He tugs your shirt and bra off, flinging them to some corner of the room, desperate to have access to more of you. He travels down your chest, his lips wrapping around one of your nipples, teeth softly biting at it while his fingers find the other, pinching at it. After he’s satisfied he switches to the other, continuing his work.

Your pants and underwear are the next to come off as Max trails his fingers along your center. He smirks when he feels your hips move to meet his hand.

He pulls a whimper from you when his thumb brushes against your clit. He kneels down, pulling you to the edge of the table and lifting your legs over his shoulders. His hands press down on your abdomen to keep you still as his tongue laps over you.

His nose brushes against your clit, send a jolt to your hips. His hands press down harder on you as his eyes look up to meet yours. They’re a stormy blue now, his pupils enlarged and eyelids hooded.

“Stay still.” He says, his voice low and rough.

His tongue is quick to continue prodding against you, slowly pushing inside you as you let you a long moan. One of your hands flies to his hair, tangling itself in his light brown locks, as your other keeps yourself propped up.

Your taste is sweet, one of his favorite flavors really.

“You taste so good mijn liefje.” He softly moans against you as he eats you out, his nose now bumping your clit over and over until you cry out his name, cumming on his tongue.

This only encourages him, as he takes everything you give him. Your body is tired, exhausted from keeping yourself upright, ready to collapse on the table.

Max stands up and it’s only then you realize that he’s still in his clothes, his race suit still hanging off his hips, while you’re completely bare in front of him.

“I’m not finished with you yet schat.” He shakes his head as he pulls you upright to kiss you.

You can taste yourself on him, but it doesn’t matter to you, not when he’s kissing you the way he is. It’s all tongue and teeth and it’s messy, but still so good.

He pulls you off the table, your legs slightly wobbling beneath you. You’re surprised when he turns you around, keeping your body trapped between his and the table. You hear his clothes move around some more, the thick fabric of his race suit rustling around, then you feel him softly kick your ankle with his leg.

You spread your legs for him, wide enough to allow him room, but still close enough that you can stand comfortably.

He reaches a hand around you to feel between your legs.

“Think you’re wet enough to take me?” He asks. Max has always been a caring lover, even in his dominant moods he still checks in with you.

“Yes Max, please fuck me.” You lean forward against the table and push your ass back against him. You can feel his cock press against you as he grabs onto your hips.

He fists himself a few times before lining himself up with you then pushing in.

The stretch is a lot but feels so good. Max stills for a moment, leaning down to press a kiss against the flushed skin on your back.

His sweet demeanor quickly turns back to his dominant one though, slowly pulling out, then giving a harsh thrust back into you. You try to grip onto the table for dear life as Max pounds into you from behind.

Your moans aren’t quiet, yet neither are his grunts. The door being the only thing blocking you from the rest of the Red Bull team is the farthest thing in your minds at the moment.

He wraps an arm around your middle pulling you up so that your back is pressed against his chest. He’s still wearing his fireproofs, only having pulled the pants down far enough so that he’d be able to bury himself inside you.

The new angle causes him to sink even deeper in you. You feel so full, so consumed by Max.

He grins when he feels you clench around him. His right hand travels over your body, squeezing your breasts before stopping over your neck. He wraps his hand around it, putting a slight pressure on it as his other drops back down to where the two of you meet. He finds your clit, and rubs quick harsh circles into it.

He lets out a low laugh as you clamp down even tighter around him. He leans his head down, his lips brushing against your ear as he teases you. “You like that? Does that feel good?”

Your mind is so clouded over that you can only moan in response.

“Oh, you can’t use your words? You’re just dumb for my cock huh? It’s a good thing you’re so pretty.” He bites down on your neck, sucking a dark hickey onto it. “Are you going to be a good girl and cum for me again?”

You nod your head, feeling something tighten in your core for the second time tonight.

It only takes a few more rough thrusts before he’s got you cumming again, his name falling out of your mouth like a prayer.

The hand on your clit moves to your hip so that he can control his movements. His release follows as his thrusts become sloppy and erratic. You feel his warm cum fill you up as he holds himself inside you. He keeps himself there as you both come down from your highs. He softly presses kisses to your back as you catch your breath.

You hiss when he slowly pulls himself out. His hand falls away from your neck as he uses both to make sure you don’t collapse to the floor. He turns you back around and lifts you back up onto the table.

He finds a towel and spreads your legs to help clean you up. The sight in front of him causes his cock to stir with interest again, his cum is seeping out of you, trailing down your thighs. Your skin shines with the layer of sweat that’s coated your body. Your chest rises and falls with every deep breath you take. Your neck has several marks along it, fresh hickeys to show what you’ve been up to.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” He asks, throwing the towel away to a corner of the room.

You give him a lazy smile. “Not at all. I really enjoyed that.”

“I love you.” He says, helping you back down from the table.

“I love you too.”

You’re both quiet at you get dressed again. You still feel a little wobbly on your feet, but are beginning to regain your balance.

“So do you think you can handle the press without chewing anyone’s head off?” You ask him as you both head to the door.

“Oh definitely.” He grins.

He wraps an arm around your waist as you leave his driver’s room and head back to the main area of the paddock.

Max gives you a quick kiss before he separates from you to do his post qualifying interviews, leaving you with the rest of the team.

When Christian spots you he sighs. “Y/n… no…” he says as he looks at the marks along your neck and the way your legs shake if you stand in one spot for too long.

You shrug. “What? You told me to calm him down.”

Needless to say everyone was surprised when Max was calm cool and collected during his interviews.

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen smut #max verstappen #formula one #formula one x reader #mv33

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wlntrsldler · 1 month

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poisoned mercury | just friends

a/n: boys have debrief sessions too! a lot of pining! lovers who are blind! yippeeee!

series masterlist | previous | next

vii. just friends by virginia to vegas

“yo, castellan!”

luke was lying on your bed, head falling off the corner as he watched you scribble things down in your notebook on your desk. he’s been hanging around in your room more often. your bed was much comfier than his own, with a fluffy white blanket, silk sheets, and a million pillows that mostly end up on the floor when you go to bed. he cringes when he thinks of his usual navy, polyester sheets on his bed, and piles of scrap paper with wasted lyrics scattered around his floor.

the pictures you took at the photobooth were now taped with the rest of the decorations on your wall. you placed it front and center, giving him the perfect view of it from where he was. the boys had asked him about the sudden change in attitude between the two of you, but he never gave many details about what happened the night the two of you disappeared.

they cornered him once on his way to the gym, “what gives, luke? when did you and y/n get so close?”

luke shrugged, “i don’t kiss and tell.”

“you kissed?!”

“well, no.”

“dude.”

that was that. luke wasn’t going to share anything with them, partly because he didn’t know if there was anything to share. yeah, you two were hanging out a lot more now. you were touchier with him, a hand on his arm (he tried not to flex whenever you did that but it’s like muscle memory for him to do so.), a leg on top of his own when you sat beside him, a lingering touch on his back when you said goodbye. you were also more open to him touching you, a hand around your waist while you smoked together, holding your hand underneath tables, a hand on your thigh as you engaged in conversations with the group. but he didn’t know if he was reading into things. maybe you were just like this with everyone. he’d only ever seen you with clarisse and she wasn’t a very touchy person, so that didn’t help much. and you didn’t have many other people you were close to at camp for him to base anything on.

luke sat up on your bed, “in here!”

travis, connor, and chris popped their heads into your room, no doubt thinking of new ways to tease luke about his crush on you. they said hello to you and motioned for luke to follow them into travis’ room.

luke groaned, not wanting to leave you, but obliged. he got up and walked over to you, squeezing your upper arm, “i’ll be right back.”

“m’kay,” you replied, sending him a smile. you closed your notebook as he peeked over your shoulder, “you coming to the party tonight?”

he smiled, “wouldn’t miss it.”

the three boys were sitting around travis’ computer when he walked in. connor motioned for him to shut the door when he arrived. oh, luke thought, this is a band intervention. this only happened once before when connor was going through a tough time and he was taking his anger out on everybody. he’d just broken up with his girlfriend because long distance got to them and it seemed like he was upset at everyone he encountered. not the best situation to be in when they were all forced to live with each other in a small tour bus and hotel rooms.

“what’s going on?” luke asked, leaning against the door. “you guys look serious.”

“because this is a serious issue,” connor said, playing with his key ring, “we need to show you something.”

“well, we need you to hear something,” chris chimed in, motioning for travis to cue up something on his computer. “so this thing with y/n… is it serious?”

luke felt like he was put on the spot. he didn’t know how to answer that question. were you serious? what were you anyway? he didn’t know how to categorize what the two of you were doing. he felt like he was stuck in a limbo with you, maybe something more than friends but not anything more than that? it didn’t make sense when he tried to rationalize it. it kept him up more nights than he’d like to admit. but he let you call the shots. he didn’t want to scare you off.

luke’s jaw ticked, “i don’t know if we’re anything.”

“dude,” travis groaned, “come on. you’re something. i’ve never seen you act like this since…”

“ever,” chris finished travis’ sentence for him. he sat beside connor on travis’ bed, “i’ve known you for years, luke, and this is not something i’ve ever seen before.”

luke sighed, “look, i know you guys said not to fuck up our relationship with mr. d and it’s really not my intention to, but i dunno, guys. she’s just so–”

“i’m gonna stop you right there before wax on and on about how great y/n is,” travis cut off. “you do realize that we’re not mad that you have feelings for her, right?”

that caught luke by surprise. he’d been so focused on trying to figure out what the two of you were that he was kind of relieved to know where his friends stood on the situation. sure, he wasn’t the happiest knowing that his friends disapproved, but at least he didn’t have to guess about what they thought of it, but now he was more confused than ever.

“luke, man, we just want what’s best for you,” connor said, shrugging his shoulders. “did it have to be the daughter of the man who decides if we get a contract extension and the man who dictates the trajectory of our career? no, but we can’t stop the two of you from whatever it is you’re doing. plus, we like y/n.”

“i’m confused,” luke vocalized, walking over to the three of them, “if this is not what that’s about, what’s the point of the intervention?”

travis beamed, twirling in his computer chair to dig up some files, “we wrote a song.”

“you wrote a song?”

“yeah, we just recorded it without you because you’re too busy sending y/n googly eyes,” connor snickered, “wanna hear it?”

luke nodded, pulling up travis’ drum seat, “absolutely.”

“before we play it,” chris prefaced, “we mean these words in the most loving way possible.”

“is this fucking song about me?” luke asked, gobsmacked. he let out a laugh, understanding why they felt the need to call for an intervention, “you guys suck.”

“maybe,” travis smirked, clicking on an audio file, “but the song doesn’t.”

the song began with drums, followed by the sound of connor playing guitar. the bass came in shortly after with the three of them doing background vocals. travis seemed to take the lead on main vocals. luke felt connor tap his shoulder, sliding him a piece of paper with the lyrics to the song.

luke couldn’t deny it– the song was good. he looked down at the page, cheeks turning red as he read the words. the paper had three distinct handwritings, showing that this song was definitely a group effort. this was co-signed by the three of them.

“stop making up your excuses

call her up, tell her you forgot something

it's worth more than you are thinking

don't be a fool, tell her you think she's cool

stop waiting for a fairy tale to

take you away, don't wait for someday

she's thinking the same thing as you

don't be afraid, dreams aren't found they're made

'cause you've only got one chance

you've only got one chance

kiss her you fool.”

luke put his head in his hands, laughing uncontrollably as the song continued. the three boys laughed along with him, head bopping to the instrumentals of the song. it was insanely catchy. luke knew instantly that this song would be a fan favorite. it was definitely going on their second album.

as the song faded off, luke tossed the paper to travis, “you motherfuckers. did you write a song to try to convince me to make a move?”

chris looked at him with a straight face, “duh.”

“i really thought this was gonna be a whole thing,” luke smacked travis’ leg, shaking his head, “whole time you guys just wanted the dirt on me and y/n.”

“okay, here’s the thing, luke– there is no dirt to share!” connor whined. the three of them weren’t nosy per se, but they were curious. they wanted to know what developed between you and luke. he’d never been one to shy away from talking about his romantic interests, but this time, with you, it was like luke was suddenly a square.

they often saw you guys giggling with each other, sharing secret looks that you thought the rest of them wouldn’t notice, hands on each other at every possible moment. it was quite ridiculous, actually. luke didn’t need to have a finger hooked on your belt loop while you made cereal in the morning nor did you have to have the string of his hoodie wrapped around your finger when you were lying on him on the couch.

they’d tried to ask him about it many times, but luke wouldn’t budge. they didn’t need to know everything, but it became clear to them that luke’s silence wasn’t because he was keeping secrets from the band, but because nothing had happened between the two of you that warranted a conversation. it was like you two were playing a sick game with each other, pushing the envelope just far enough to avoid a conversation about what you were, but subjecting everyone around you to the brutal torture of watching you fall for each other without making a move.

okay, so they were nosy. sue them.

“i don’t know what to tell you guys,” luke got up from his seat, rubbing his neck, “i just– i’m scared that if i make a move, it’ll fuck things up between us.”

“believe me when i say this,” chris got up, placing his hands on luke’s shoulders, “you aren’t going to fuck anything up. trust me.”

he cocked an eyebrow, “and you know this, how?”

chris’ face flushed as he removed his hands from luke and stuffed them in his front pockets. he looked down at his feet, shyly, “clarisse told me.”

luke’s eyebrows raised, eyes twinkling with fondness, “you guys are so focused on me, but we need to talk about chris and clarisse!”

chris’ face morphed into a gigantic smile at the sound of his name next to clarisse’s. luke shoved him, motioning for him to start talking, while the stolls leaned in, locked in to listen to chris’ perspective. luke took his spot next to connor, giving chris the floor.

chris scratched the back of his head, red creeping down his neck, “i really like her…”

–

when you mentioned that there was a party happening, luke didn’t realize that it was a party just for the older campers. imagine his surprise when he walked into the woods with chris in tow to find lee fletcher with his entire dj set up blasting IDGAF by drake and bottles of liquor strewn about on a picnic table.

“hey, you see y/n or clarisse yet?” chris asked, looking around. luke didn’t comment on how chris seemed to spray a bit more of his cologne on his clothes tonight and how he hogged their bathroom to fix his hair a million times. they were late to the gathering because of chris. luke thought it was adorable how chris got so nervous around the girls he liked.

“nah, sorry man,” luke pat chris’ back, “don’t be so nervous. you’ll be fine.”

chris scoffed, fixing the pearl necklace around his neck, “easy for you to say, castellan.”

“chris,” luke stood in front of him, blocking his view of the party, “clarisse likes you too, alright? don’t stress.”

“no, i know she does,” the boy replied, shaking his head. he peered over luke’s shoulder to look for clarisse again. “she showed me what she was wearing for tonight and i know she’s gonna look so pretty. do you think i look okay?”

“you look good, rodriguez,” he chuckled, moving to chris’ side. the interaction brought luke back to high school, back when chris went on his first date with a girl from their chemistry class, adrianna. they’d been paired up to do a lab project together and it was the first time luke saw chris become a nervous mess. the two of them rode around on their bikes going to four different grocery stores to find the best bouquet of flowers for adrianna. in the end, they settled for an arrangement of poppies and sunflowers. adrianna loved it and they went on to date for a few months before she broke it off with him when he started to take music seriously.

luke always thought that chris was a better man than he was. chris never harbored any ill feelings towards adrianna, stating that the rockstar’s girlfriend life was just not something she saw herself in. chris said that adrianna wanted to be a teacher and had her own dreams she wanted to follow. as much as chris liked the girl, he took the breakup pretty well. even if he was younger than luke, he was always more mature than him, emotionally anyway.

“i think i see her,” chris said, fixing his shirt for the umpteenth time. “y/n is there too.”

luke’s eyes quickly darted to where chris was looking. you and clarisse were sitting on another picnic table, feet resting comfortably on the benches. beside you was a red cooler with selzters and beers perched on top of ice packs. you were laughing at something clarisse said, talking to two older, male campers who didn’t hide their attempts to check the two of you out.

luke couldn’t blame them. the two of you did look good. you were wearing jeans that hugged your curves perfectly with a long-sleeve off-the-shoulder black top. your hair was thrown behind your back, two small braids on either side of your head, and small gold hoops hanging from your ears. in the orange glow of the campfire not too far away, luke could see the hint of lip gloss on your lips. you wore your black platform converses and luke squinted to see if his little doodle on the side of the rubber was still there.

he tilted his head in your direction to signal chris to start walking towards the both of you. as he got closer, a warmth spread inside his chest when he saw his familiar handwriting on your shoe. in silver sharpie, luke wrote ‘5 star’ with an atrocious attempt at a star on the left shoe.

you two were in your room when he had the idea. he didn’t notice it before but you wrote little things on each of your shoes. you told him a story about a house party you went to years ago where you’d accidentally taken the wrong left shoe on your way out the door. you’d all taken off your shoes to jump into the pool and left a pile of shoes by the living room, stacked on top of each other. in the rush of things, you grabbed a pair of vans and slipped them on, only to realize when you got home that the left shoe was a different size than the right. since then, you always customized your shoes in small ways to make it easier for you to find them.

you’d never wore your converses before so you didn’t get to do anything to them yet. luke was happy to help you continue your tradition. he also wanted to leave you a reminder of him whenever you wore the shoes. a small memento of your time with him at camp.

“five star,” luke called as he approached you. the four of you turned your heads at the sound of his voice. the two boys paled at the sight of two members of poisoned mercury and scurried away before he and chris could even grab a beer from the cooler.

you unseriously rolled your eyes, taking a sip from the can in your hand, as you watched the two boys you and clarisse were talking to before leave in a hurry. not good for luke’s ego, you thought, though you were glad the boys left. you were on your sixteenth (and yes, you were counting) ‘oh really?’ with the boy who only seemed to talk of himself.

“castellan,” you raised your can to him in a greeting.

luke moved the cooler away from you, snagging the last bud light in it, before sitting beside you. clarisse and chris got to talking, choosing to move to another area away from the noise and left the two of you alone.

“who was that?”

“hm?” you asked, genuinely forgetting that you were talking to someone else before he got there. you were focused on the boy beside you now. he was wearing a red flannel, bunched up around his elbows, with a white shirt underneath. his black jeans complimented the silver jewelry he always wore. he looked good. you blinked, “oh, i don’t know. james or justin, or something.”

luke cracked open his beer, “you need to start remembering people’s names.”

“i remember the ones that matter,” you dismissed, turning to face him. the small studs on his ears were illuminated under the dim light. “you showed up.”

“told you i would,” luke smirked, bumping your knee with his, “you look good.”

“thank you,” you squeaked out, looking down to play with the ring on your index finger. luke’s eyes looked down at your hand, a wave of fondness crashing over him. “you do too.”

he grabbed your hand, running a finger over the silver metal, “is that my ring?”

your eyes widened, “oh, yeah. sorry you left it in my room and i wore it to remind myself to give it back to you.”

“keep it,” he said, keeping his hand on yours, “i have so many i didn’t even realize it was gone.”

that was a lie. the barbed wire ring was in his daily rotation. he always wore it on his ring finger along with his other two rings. he even had a ring tan that matched it. he’d been looking for it everywhere for days, but decided it was a lost cause when he couldn’t find it in time for the party. luke figured he could just buy another one, but now knowing that you had it, he didn’t feel the need to anymore. it was safe with you.

“what did the boys want earlier?”

“oh, nothing,” luke flushed remembering the song they played for him a few hours ago. the four of them got caught up talking for hours that by the time they ran out of things to say, it was nearly time to get ready for the party. the stolls headed out earlier, too impatient to wait for chris as he flailed around trying to find the perfect outfit for clarisse, and luke stayed back to wait for him. he didn’t see you after he left your room, too preoccupied with helping his best friend.

you narrowed your eyes, “didn’t seem like nothing.”

“well, they wrote a song and wanted me to hear it.” luke could never hide anything from you, not like he wanted to anyway. there was nothing he wanted to keep from you, except how he felt about you. but that was more of a complicated situation.

“i wanna hear it,” you said, excitement in your voice.

“absolutely not,” luke scoffed, playfully. he was not ready for you to hear that song. he knew you’d connect the dots quickly. “soon, though. maybe.”

“come on, castellan,” you droned, placing your seltzer on the table. “i wanna hear it.”

“i told you, soon, five star. s’not ready yet.”

“and? what if i wanna hear it unfinished?”

“nah, you’ll get to hear it when it’s perfect,” the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile, “gotta impress you.”

in the morning, you were going to blame the alcohol in your system, although you had been sipping on the same seltzer since you arrived. the drink tasted watered down and dull. it didn’t really have an effect on you at all, no red flush on your cheeks, no dizziness in your mind. but for now, you were going to blame it. perhaps, it was a placebo effect of some sort, encouraging you to be bolder with luke. “you always impress me, pretty boy.”

luke was glad that the beat dropped the same time he choked on his drink, the liquid getting stuck in his throat as the pet name left your lips. he played it off, clearing his throat as he looked at you. your lips were parted slightly, the ghost of the words you said prior still lingering in the air. your voice echoed in his head. you always impress me, pretty boy.

you were looking at him with hooded eyes, something foreign dancing in your irises. a dare, maybe, for him to succumb to you and let you hear the song he was speaking of. or maybe for him to do something else, something that crossed the line of friendship that he’d been tip-toeing around for weeks. is it too far to press his lips against yours right now? the voices of his band mates rang in his ears, begging him to finally make a move.

your lips were inviting. the remnants of your lip gloss was smudged haphazardly on your bottom lip, sparkles of glitter catching his eye. you were closer to him now, too, thighs pressed against his own, breath fanning over his face. it drove him wild how you were looking at him, patiently waiting for him to do something.

he decided against it. it took all his willpower not to kiss you then, but he didn’t want the moment to be tainted by the watching eyes that surrounded the two of you. he knew you didn’t like the spotlight, preferred to have your private business safely tucked away just for you, and he respected that. he wanted that too, to only have these moments for himself. what he envisioned with you was his own personal reprieve from the world. he didn’t want to share you.

five star, the girl who had him wrapped around her delicate finger, who teased him relentlessly, who carved a permanent space in his thoughts, who took his breath away with every stolen glance and concealed touch. he shared so much of his life with the world with his music and his status. he’ll be selfish just this once. this was just for him.

luke looked away, sipping the last few drops of his drink. your pull was magnetic. he sighed, voice hoarse, “you’re killing me, five star.”

it amazed you how luke still didn’t realize that he had the same effect on you, though you couldn’t judge him too harshly, you supposed. for the last two months, you’d given him nothing to work with but a roll of your eyes, snide remarks, and feigned nonchalance. you built your walls up too high. from the moment you’d met him at your smoke spot, you knew it would be dangerous for you to be around him, though you didn’t show it then.

an attractive boy who shared your vices, incessant on pushing your buttons undeterred by the fire in your soul, ready to argue back. he had his sarcastic replies that countered your defense mechanism that often left your mind scrambled when you thought about it at night. his proximity to you, living in the same cabin, giving you just enough space to leave you wanting more. you enjoyed your time with luke, much to your premature dismay. your biased perception of musicians was turned on his head the more you spent time with him.

people always told you that you liked a challenge, always searching for something to keep you vigilant, on your toes. and luke castellan, the bastard that he was, was exactly who you needed. he always had something up his sleeve, but never something that could hurt you. you didn’t know if he was even capable of the sorts.

it was easy to see why people were attracted to him. he was easy on the eyes, even if it took you weeks to admit it to yourself. but you pitied the people who didn’t get to know him like this– they’d never understand how it feels to know luke castellan. they’ll only get to know the luke that the tabloids wanted, and he was the furthest thing from it. he was wild and rowdy the way any teenager would be, but with his mom, his band, with you, he was something else entirely.

you were sure that anyone who was lucky enough to know him were unlucky enough to want him because when anyone gets to know luke, there is no denying that they’ll fall for him. and you were teetering dangerously close to the edge.

if gods existed in this world, will they make you one of the lucky ones to experience this? had you done enough good in this life to deserve this? you didn’t know and you were scared to find out, but with the way he was looking at you now, something between longing and tenderness, your patience was wearing thin.

before you could say anything, clarisse, chris, and the stolls walked over to the two of you. chris had his arm around clarisse, sending luke a wide smile.

“we’re ditching the party to grab food by the gas station,” connor explained, “you guys wanna come?”

you looked at luke. you loved your friends, but you didn’t want to be with them right now, not when all you wanted to do was talk to luke. he saw your pleading eyes and shook his head, turning to the group, “nah, i think we’re good here.”

“suit yourself,” travis shrugged, beginning to walk towards the main road. the other three followed, the murmurs of their conversations fading into the night.

luke got up from the table, dusting off his pants, “you wanna head home?”

“yeah,” you followed his actions, taking his outstretched hand to help you off the table. “let’s go home.”

the walk back to your cabin was filled with your usual banter, laughter that you both tried to suppress in fear of getting caught after hours, and excuses to touch each other, playful and teasing, but they lingered longer than what could be deemed as friendship. when you arrived at the cabin, you and luke stood in the living room, both unsure of what happens next.

you paused, scruffing the bottom of your shoes on the cabin floors. you motioned to your room, “this is me.”

he rubbed the back of his neck, every bone in his body begging him not to retire to his own room. “yeah. guess we should get some sleep.”

“yeah, g’night,” you turned around to walk into your room. luke watched as you opened the door, only beginning to walk to his own when he saw you enter. he was so caught up in his head that he didn’t realize the door never closed. it was the sound of your voice that made him turn around. “luke?”

he jerked his head so fast, he was sure he almost got whiplashed. luke’s voice was hushed when he spoke, “what’s up?”

you bit your bottom lip, “do you want to come in?”

his feet took him to you before his mouth could open to give you an answer. he was in front of you in record time, breaths uneven and palms sweaty. you placed your hands flat on his chest, feeling the racing of his heart. he closed his eyes as you wrapped your arms around his neck. when he found the strength to open his eyes, he found your face close to his. his hands found their way to your hips. he cautiously let his lips graze your cheek, placing a soft kiss there. “five star.”

“mhm?” you purred. “what is it luke?”

the sound of your voice like that, breathless and raspy, was enough for him to press his lips against yours. luke felt like his heart was about to burst in his chest when you kissed him back.

#frances writes #poisoned mercury #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke pjo #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfic

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eldritch-thrumming · 28 days

Text

is it casual now?, pt. two

pt. one

my friends call me a loser ‘cause i’m still hanging around. i’ve heard so many rumors that i’m just a girl that you bang on your couch. i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn’t lose. you said, “we’re not together,” so now when we kiss i have anger issues. you said, “baby, no attachments,” but we’re knee deep in the passengers seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?

around one in the morning, steve can’t take the tossing and turning anymore. he calls robin and she just says she’s coming over. she rides her bike all the way to steve’s house in the dark even though he tells her over and over not to do that. she just does.

he both loves and hates that she does.

steve’s on the couch in the living room again, moved back downstairs when he realized sleep wasn’t coming tonight. he’s sitting right where eddie had looked at him and rejected him. right where eddie had decided steve wasn’t worth the trouble. even in the privacy of his own mind, steve knows he’s not being exactly fair, but he can’t stop his thoughts from circling over what happened, over and over and over again, until the night is all smooth around the edges, all the good stuff rubbed away.

so that’s where robin finds him, wrapped in the navy comforter he’d dragged from his bed with the television glowing on mute. the house is dark and she just lets herself in like she always does.

“i take it the talk didn’t go so well,” her voice is light and steve can tell she’s trying not to add any inflection to the statement, trying hard so it doesn’t sound like a question.

“i don’t know, doesn’t every great love story start with someone storming out after the confession?” steve tries to make it a joke, to make it sound flippant, but his voice comes out flat. robin’s mouth quirks up a little any way and he knows it’s something like a pity laugh, but it does soothe the stabbing pain in his chest just a little.

“you wanna talk about it or you wanna let me take you to bed and big spoon the shit out of you?” robin reaches out to run her hand lightly through his hair, just once, before she lets it fall back into her lap. she’s wearing her pajamas, the wide leg of her flannel pants stuffed into her bright yellow rainboots, like she’d left the house in a hurry, couldn’t bother to change or find proper footwear.

steve sighs. “not a whole lot to talk about. i told him it would be kinda cool to maybe… date but he said he already told me he doesn’t really do that. and he’s right. i was just being dumb, i guess.”

“is that how you said it?” there’s a crease between her eyebrows now and she’s got that expression on her face that she always gets when she’s trying to solve a puzzle.

“i mean, not, like, word for word or whatever, but yeah, that’s the general gist of how it went.”

her expression shutters and her jaw sets. “right, well. he doesn’t have to be a super mega asshole about it.”

“he wasn’t,” steve tells her, earnestly. robin is eddie’s friend too and he doesn’t want this whole dumb thing ruining that too. they could all use all the friends they could get at this point, especially ones who get it, whatever it happens to be. “i promise. it was just… my mistake. he did tell me, from the beginning. i just misunderstood.”

robin’s face softens slightly. she reaches her hand out to lock her fingers with his and they sit there in the glow from the tv for a long moment, silent. “let’s go to sleep,” she yawns finally, standing from the couch. “everything will be better in the morning.”

~*~

robin is half wrong, but she’s also half right. things are better in the morning. steve doesn’t feel like his chest is going to cave in at every small wrong move and he doesn’t feel like crying every five seconds after his extensive cry sesh in the shower.

but eddie still isn’t there.

~*~

it’s been weeks since steve has seen eddie. steve’s not stupid. he’s aware that eddie’s actively avoiding him, despite the fact that steve has called the trailer multiple times trying to apologize. he’d left a confusingly vague message with wayne, one he’s sure had made no sense if it was even relayed to eddie at all. picking the kids up from hellfire at the wheelers is a newly torturous experience with the kids now waiting for him on the curb awkwardly instead of making steve wait an extra fifteen to twenty minutes on the wheeler’s gross plaid couch in their basement that perpetually smells like corn chips. everyone seems to be clearly aware that something is up. he’s sure he sees sympathy in mrs. wheeler’s eyes when she waves to him from their front door, thanking him for driving the kids home.

steve’s not exactly sure where it all went wrong. he knows now that he’d blindsided eddie; it was more than apparent now that eddie hadn’t even thought about what he was doing or how steve was feeling. steve spent hours thinking about eddie every day and it was clear now that that was not reciprocated. which is fine, he guesses, but he had thought he and eddie were friends first. they’d saved the world together after all. that tended to bond people forever, he’d assumed, just simply based on his relationships with robin and dustin and even nancy. he hadn’t really accounted for losing eddie completely. but steve was clearly fucking clueless when it came to eddie munson, so maybe he’d actually been wrong about everything all along.

he ping pongs back and forth between feelings of self-pity mixed with self flagellation and feelings of intense, white-hot anger at eddie. one minute, he’s sure this is all his fault, that he really is the dumbest person on planet earth and he definitely deserves to have people leave him constantly when he’s so fucking stupid all the time, can’t even keep his stupid fucking mouth shut and his stupid ugly feelings to himself for one time in his stupid fucking life. the next, he starts to blame eddie for what happened instead, blames him for not understanding steve at all. it’s eddie’s fault for not seeing what was right in front of his stupid fucking face. but after a couple of minutes of that, he’s back to being certain it really was his fault after all.

so after almost a month of no returned phone calls, no surprise visits at work just to say “hey” because eddie couldn’t sit around all day waiting for steve to get off his shift, no casual touches as they chat while eddie packs up his dnd gear, steve finally takes the massive fucking hint for what it is and stops calling. he begs jonathan to pick the kids up from hellfire, lying about a new shift schedule at work. he refuses to drive the kids anywhere that eddie might potentially be, even when the kids insist eddie really won’t be there. he’s trying so hard to convince himself that actually he’s the one avoiding eddie and not the other way around. he’s barely even hanging out with robin anymore, besides work. she seems to get that he needs time alone right now though. steve’s never been more grateful for a platonic soul mate.

but after this long, agonizing month of constantly rearranging his own life to help someone else avoid him, steve’s exhausted. he’s been having more nightmares than usual, ones where the people he loves all take turns dying in his arms. it’s a wednesday when he finally has the night off and he decides to treat himself with sixteen candles and a pizza. he orders his pie and fifteen minutes later he’s pulling his wallet from his pocket before answering the knock on the door.

“what do i owe you?” he asks after the door swings open. he’s got his eyes on his wallet in his hands, fingers moving over the bills folded together.

“oh, um,” a familiar voice stutters. steve’s eyes snap up. “i—“

steve feels like he can’t get any air for a minute. eddie’s just standing on his front step, staring.

steve’s throat feels dry. he has to swallow a few times before he can get any words out, but eddie beats him to it anyway.

“can we, uh. talk?” eddie looks nervous, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. steve steps out of the way, silently letting eddie pass him on his way into the house. the door swings shut and it’s the loudest sound steve’s ever heard in his life.

they stand in the small foyer with its huge ceilings and steve can feel the cold of the tiles through his thin socks. eddie makes no move to enter further into the house, so neither does he. steve shifts on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest, suddenly uncomfortable in the silence of his own home.

“i’m sorry,” steve says quietly, after a long stretch of silence that makes it clear eddie’s not actually about to speak. eddie’s eyes keep flitting around the small space, landing everywhere but steve’s face. eddie shrugs, looking over steve’s shoulder into the kitchen behind him.

“it’s not—“ eddie shakes his head, cutting himself off. steve wants desperately to hear how he’d finish that sentence. almost as desperately as he doesn’t.

“i ruined it.” steve runs his hand through his hair. “i tried calling the trailer… to apologize. left a couple messages with wayne but.” he shrugs.

eddie grunts. steve wishes he knew how to make this better. he can’t tell if the grunt means eddie got his messages or not. he’d thought he was good at deciphering eddie’s noises by now.

“look,” steve says, finally frustrated with the whole thing. “we were kind of friends before we started… hooking up or whatever. i get that you wanted something casual and that i ruined it. i get that i fucked it up and i made you uncomfortable and—i just get it, okay? you didn’t do anything wrong. you were always honest. i was just seeing what i wanted to see and i let myself believe something that wasn’t real. so. i would really like for us to be friends again. i hate this, eddie. it really sucks. i don’t like not seeing you around. i just—this sucks.”

eddie nods, swallowing thickly, but he doesn’t really seem like he’s hearing steve.

“yeah,” eddie finally agrees. “this sucks.”

steve gets the sense that eddie means more than just this whole dumb thing between them, but he’s trying not to be in the business of making assumptions about what eddie means anymore.

“i have a pizza coming,” steve sighs. “if you want to stay?” he can’t help but feel hopeful and he knows this is too much, to invite eddie to stay when they haven’t even really made up yet, but he doesn’t know how to fix this. he’s never been good at this.

eddie glances into the living room and steve’s not entirely sure what he sees or what he imagines, but he watches as eddie swallows again, eyes darting quickly to steve’s face, just once, before he gives his head a small shake. “no, i don’t—i should go. but we’ll see each other, okay, harrington?” and he says it like a question but steve thinks he knows it’s not really a question at all. steve will see eddie any time, anywhere, whenever eddie asks.

steve tries to smile before shuffling toward the door and watching eddie go.

~*~

it’s another ten minutes before his pizza even gets there and when it does, steve’s feeling even more sorry for himself than he has in the last month since he’d asked eddie out. he makes it halfway through the movie and the pizza before he starts to consider calling robin. it’s been a while since they’ve just hung out and that’s been entirely steve’s fault. she hasn’t said anything because she knows steve inside and out, but steve is really missing her right now.

he’s just about ready to pull on his shoes and pick up the phone to tell robin he’s on his way to get her when there’s a knock at the door. half of him is confused, the other half is convinced it must be robin, having sensed his desire for her company. he stands and makes his way to the door, a half smile on his face as he swings it open for the third time tonight.

“look, what happened before is not why i came here, so wait and just let me talk and then you can say whatever you want but if you don’t let me just get this out, i’m never going to say it and i… you deserve to hear it so i need to say it, for real, right now,” eddie’s practically panting as he pushes past steve.

“um okay,” steve tries to get out but eddie glares at him.

“shut up, shut up for real, okay.” eddie crouches down in the foyer of steve’s house, his head in his hands between his knees. his voice comes out a little muffled, but steve can still hear him pretty clearly. “you didn’t ruin anything. you didn’t. really. i ruined it. i ruined a really good thing.”

steve feels like his chest is being hollowed out but he bites his lip, desperate not to interrupt.

eddie groans and steve can see his fingers tense and release in his own hair. “you were so sweet, on the couch. the last time.” he says it like steve could’ve forgotten and steve feels a blush rise on his cheeks. “you… you looked so soft and gooey and hopeful and i—i fucked it up. because back when this whole thing started, it seemed like a miracle that you’d even look at me. like. you’re… you and i’m just me. what the fuck.” eddie laughs almost hysterically. steve feels his fingernails cutting into his own palms with how hard he’s trying to stay still and silent. eddie still hasn’t looked up from where he’s holding himself tight. “and it kept happening and happening and happening and i—i’ve never… i’ve never.”

“oh,” steve can’t help but breathe out in surprise.

eddie shakes his head a little, seems to forget himself and look up and then he’s just staring at steve’s face. he swallows again and steve can see his hands shake. “no, i mean, i’ve… but never… more than once. never all the time.” now that eddie’s looked steve in the eyes, he can’t seem to look away. his eyes look so huge and glassy from where he looks up at steve from his place on the floor. steve feels his heart clench. his fingertips ache. “never like that.” steve nods. “and then you didn’t leave. you didn’t run or pretend it didn’t happen. and you let me pretend it was something it wasn’t, like we weren’t… like it wasn’t… important.” steve’s brows furrow in confusion. “because i was lying. obviously. of course i was. it wasn’t casual. you’d never be casual. not for me.”

“i don’t—“ steve suddenly can’t breathe.

“wait. please.” eddie’s eyes go soft around the edges. “i fucked it up, stevie, because i was lying the whole time. and i thought you were just letting me lie because… i don’t know. i don’t know why, because i know it wasn’t casual for you either. it was all over you. and that was really, really scary.” steve falls to his knees on the foyer tiles, vaguely aware of the dull ache, before sliding closer to where eddie is crouched. he whimpers, just a little, when eddie holds out his palm, presses it to the center of steve’s chest to keep him from getting too close. “hold on, baby, i just. i have to say it, please. gimme a second, i’m just…” eddie gives his head another small shake, as if he’s trying to clear it. “i’m sorry, i guess, is what it really all comes down to. i’m sorry i let you think you weren’t important. i only realized you didn’t know that night on the couch and i… i guess i saw some plausible deniability. a way to walk away without getting, like, totally annihilated. and that’s, you know. my whole issue.” eddie swallows again, hand fisting into the fabric of steve’s shirt. “i was scared. i ran. because… because i love you, stevie. i was falling in love with you this whole time and trying to act like i wasn’t. because i was an idiot. and i couldn’t be the one to break first. but what a stupid, fucked up way to think about it, huh? i love you, man, and you deserve to hear it and feel it and have it, is really what i’m trying to say. i just love you.”

somewhere in all of that, eddie had used his grip on steve’s shirt to pull him in closer so their noses are practically touching. steve can feel the prickle of tears in his own eyes, can feel eddie’s breath on his lips.

“you love me?” even steve can hear how incredulous his own voice sounds.

eddie huffs out a laugh and steve can feel it on his skin. “yeah, dude. of course i do. how could i not?”

“dude,” steve repeats, cause like… really?

“is that all you have to say?” eddie slides his nose along steve’s, nuzzling, skin warm. steve’s eyelids go heavy.

“you left me hanging for, like, a month, bro,” steve tries to joke, but his voice sounds too breathless.

“yeah,” eddie murmurs. “i’m so sorry, baby. can i kiss you?”

and all steve can do is nod.

~*~

the next morning, steve wakes up to soft sunlight filtering in through the blinds he forgot to close last night. he feels hazy, all syrupy and warm, before he bolts upright in his bed. or tries to. because just as he’s moving, he notices the heavy presence on his right arm.

“too early,” eddie groans, shuffling naked under the covers. “turn it off.”

“turn what off? the sun?” steve smiles as he turns to spoon his equally naked body behind eddie. he drops a kiss to eddie’s bare shoulder.

“mmhmm,” eddie hums, and steve can hear the smile in it.

“hey,” steve says, before they both fall back into sleep for a few more minutes. “i love you, too, by the way.”

“oh yeah, by the way?” eddie snorts.

“better than ‘i love you, dude.’”

“oh, you think so?” eddie shifts in steve’s arms until he’s somehow gotten on top of steve, holding steve’s wrists above his head. steve can’t help but thrust his hips upwards in eddie’s direction. “yeah, okay,” eddie concedes, breathless, grinding his own hips downward. “you’re right. whatever you say, beautiful. can’t argue with that. super compelling argument.”

steve has to kiss him just to shut him up.

#steddie #is it casual now? steddie au #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steddie ficlet #steddie blurb #steve x eddie #steddie au #steddie angst #i haven’t slept and also a little high rn so if there are typos don’t tell me lol

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euphemiaamillais · 3 months

Text

cry, kill, die part 2 - coriolanus snow

peacekeeper!coryo doesn’t like you talking to other men. you’re his, and he’s going to show you exactly what that means (ft. commander hoff finding out you’re a little more than friendly with private snow)

cw: 18+//piv sex//oral (f. receiving)//degrading//slutshaming//spanking//unresolved anger issues and a masssive ego (that’s just coryo for you)

part 1 here

you couldn’t help that private plinth was taking such an interest in you. he was sweet, not like the other peacekeepers who whistled as you walked past, not paying any heed to the fact that your father could have them shot for daring to touch his darling daughter. private plinth, you found out, was a very good friend—or so he liked to think—of private snow. this frustrated coriolanus more than anything. you were his property now, whether you liked it or not—and god forbid sejanus plinth, who really was district, touched his property.

it was hard to escape either of them, really, and on one particularly sultry summer’s day, when the ground burned from the sun and shimmering rays of heat danced across your vision, private snow decided that he’d had enough.

the way you were twirling your curls around your finger while private plinth leaned close to you, laughing as he told you a bad joke, likely. he can see the way plinth is undressing you with his eyes, and the fact that you’re wearing a tiny sundress, leaving little to imagine, made his blood boil. of course plinth of all the other peacekeepers took your eye—that boy was always out to get him.

‘you know, maybe one night we could catch a show at the hob—i hear the covey are performing soon,’ he hears plinth say with a smile.

you giggle, a blush creeping upon your cheeks. he wonders if plinth knows you’re a little whore who just weeks ago, was completely fucked out on his cock. plinth probably thinks you’re as fresh as a daisy, no doubt. you’re good at keeping up facades, he knows for a fact nobody else thinks you’re such a whore in spite of the way you flirt with everything that can talk.

you bat your thick, dark lashes and reach out to brush plinth’s arm playfully.

‘you’re so sweet, sejanus,’ you coo. coriolanus stands upright at the use of his friend’s first name—he didn’t know you were so close.

perhaps you were offering him favours too—he wouldn’t put that past you. getting on your knees for plinth and showing him what it meant to love a woman. he knew nothing about pleasing a woman, coriolanus knew that for sure. he was a virgin when he left the capitol and no doubt he was still one, even if you’d helped to ease his nerves one or two times.

‘will your father be okay with it?’ he inquires, hands fidgeting nervously. oh poor innocent sejanus, always trying to be the perfect gentleman.

coriolanus clenches his hand into a fist, heart pumping blood viciously around his body. if he could drive his fist into plinth’s jaw right now, he’d feel so much better. but he doesn’t do anything, merely stands there and continues to watch as you paw over his friend.

‘oh, daddy won’t mind. he likes you a lot, you know,’ you grin, swaying about on your feet. if only he could show you what happens when you dare to speak to another man…

you’re all his, you cemented that when you let him ravish you the other week. and yet, you still hasn’t been back to retrieve your panties. he kept them in the box at the end of the bed in the hopes that you’d come waltzing into the barracks one day or another, begging for him to show you what he could do with his tongue. or perhaps you’d get on your knees and help relieve him on a particularly stressful day.

but that was all a fantasy now. a stupid, lust-filled reverie.

‘i’m glad to hear that,’ sejanus brushes a piece of hair behind your ear and you can’t help but lean in to kiss him in the cheek.

‘you’re really sweet, sej, you know that?’ you say in a sickeningly sweet tone.

coriolanus could just about hurl. sej? what the fuck was that? some stupid nickname no doubt. but it suggested closeness, and admiration. he’d fucking crush plinth’s skull if he could. how dare he lay a finger on his girl.

coriolanus approaches you two, and sejanus, ever so lovely, offers his friend a smile. you can’t meet the eye of coriolanus, and instead stare at a piece of flotsam on your dress. you hadn’t seen him in weeks, but he’d been the subject of all your dreams. you were however, as per your father’s instructions, being particularly kind to private plinth. something about his parents’ wealth and how you needed to find a suitable man to settle down with.

it wasn’t horrible; in fact, sejanus was very sweet and had good intentions, even though you were itching to be fucked. he had barely so much as kissed you, and when he did it was on the cheek. your thighs burned at night with want, and yet you found yourself thinking only of private snow and the way he had you desperate for more. not that you’d admit it.

‘i see you’ve made a friend in miss hoff,’ coriolanus remarks, a little snide undertone in his voice.

sejanus grins, casting a look of ‘we’re more than friends’ to coriolanus. he’d get him for this, coriolanus thinks. the fucking bastard.

‘yes, private plinth has been very kind to me—he’s offered to take me out to the hob sometime,’ you perk up, seeing the jealousy in snow’s eyes. two can play at that game.

‘oh, no doubt he’s been kind to you. sejanus is well known for his sweet disposition,’ again, that voice laced with jealousy. how pathetic. private snow falling at your fucking feet.

‘quite,’ you retort, a snide look crossing your face.

you’ve had enough of him, and excuse yourself from the boys. sejanus is a little perplexed, sensing some sort of underlying tension, though he assumes it’s because his friend has a rather bad attitude. he’d never in a million years think you were getting ploughed by snow in the barracks. no, a girl like you would never stoop so low.

you begin tramping your way across the gravel path to your house, which is situated within the camp. it’s one of the nicer homes in district twelve, maybe besides that of the mayor’s, though one downside was the constant dawn disturbances of your father’s drills, which made for a very disgruntled you in the mornings. you soon learned to wear ear plugs and shut your blinds.

you made it to the door when you felt somebody coming up behind you. you turn to see snow, glaring at you with his icy eyes—and baring a look similar to that of a stone-faced gargoyle.

‘private snow,’ you address him, feeling his body heat radiating from how close he’s standing.

‘miss hoff,’ he seethes.

you fidget with the keys in your hand, and he notices this, wayching as you attempt to unlock the door from behind. you look foolish, fluttering about like a little bunny, trying to escape his net. it’s pathetic, and you know you’re already ensnared.

‘i don’t like how close you’re getting with private plinth,’ he remarks, stroking your arm in an attempt to feign friendliness.

‘oh, really?’ you inquire, getting the door open finally.

you’re glad your father isn’t home, he would have come out with his rifle and shot private snow for daring to set foot on his doorstep. you slide inside, attempting to shut the door in snow’s face so he can’t bother you, but he’s too swift and you find yourself inside your home with no one but an angry peacekeeper.

‘you can’t get away from me now, bunny,’ he says, pulling you into his arms.

‘please…’ your voice trails off, because you’re unable to find a good reason as to why he should leave. part of you wants him here… part of you is longing for him to just bend you over and fuck you senseless.

‘oh bunny,’ he sighs, shaking his head. ‘you can’t just flirt with another man like that. i didn’t think you were such a whore.’

the insult stings, more so than when he was calling you it in bed. at least then he had good reason to be calling you that. now, you couldn’t help that your father wanted you to let private plinth take you on a few dates. there was no harm in that, you figured. it’s not like coriolanus paid any attention to you after what happened. you thought he’d merely forgotten and had moved on to another girl.

‘private plinth is good to me,’ you remark, feeling your mouth go dry.

his grip on you tightens, fingers hardening their grip n the crook of your elbow. he clenches his jaw in fury, attempting to keep his anger at bay, and yet there’s only so much he can do to stop it from unfurling.

‘oh yeah, how good?’ he taunts. ‘bet he doesn’t fuck you as good as me. or do you just suck him off while he cries out for his ma?’

you raise your brows, quite shocked at his rudeness. you could understand jealousy, but these insults felt so direct. you had been under the impression that they had been friends back in the capitol. now all you saw was a one-sided facade. plinth was too naive to notice that snow was more interested in his pretty trust fund than a genuine friendship.

‘i resent the fact that you think i would be so easy,’ you spit, and he laughs in your face, a ridiculous wolffish grin scampering across his lips.

‘oh, i know you’re easy, bunny,’ he lets go of your arm and gives your ass a squeeze. ‘i know you’re fuckin’ easy because you were begging for my cock the other week.’

your cheeks burn at the memory of him pounding into you in the barracks. you clench your thighs together, attempting to quell the urges. he can see this clearly, the way you’re squirming about, begging yourself not to give into lust. but you can’t help it. he’s just so handsome and his cock is oh so big… who could resist him?

‘please… snow…’ you sigh, aware that his hand is still planted firmly on your ass.

‘come on, bunny. show me your bedroom. i think you need to be taught a lesson,’ he commands, nudging you down the hall.

you lead him to your room, which is decorated with all sorts of girlish paraphernalia. he can’t help but laugh at how innocent it all is, with the pink bows and floral bedspread which is covered with all sorts of stuffed animals. who would’ve thought that a girl like this, so sweet and innocent, would take his cock so well?

‘god, no wonder daddy thinks you’re a little angel,’ he sneers, shoving you down onto your bed.

‘look at this shit…’ he can’t help but touch the knickknacks—little porcelain dollies and painted ladies. ‘of course daddy wouldn’t think you took cock from his peacekeepers when you’ve got little dollies on your nightstand.’

your face is flaming with anger and embarrassment. how dare he scrutinise you in such a manner. you couldn’t help that you were insatiable, or that you were surrounded by such willing and handsome young men. who could’ve expected a pent-up teenage girl to stay a virgin when there were so many toned, and shirtless men roaming the barracks?

you had only slept with two other peacekeepers, one when you were sixteen—he was your first everything, but he mysteriously got shipped off to two to become an officer, leaving you heartbroken. the other one was a while ago, and you’d spent many an evening sneaking into the bunks and having to keep quiet while he spoiled you. somehow your father never found out, and you preferred to keep it that way.

coriolanus towers over you know, two hands placed on your thighs as he looks into your eyes. they’re brimming with fear, and at the same time, want. you want him more than anything in this world, your cunt is throbbing and slick with desire.

‘are you gonna be a good girl for me, bunny?’ he asks, hot breath pressing against your cheek.

you nod, giving into his whims. it’s so hard to resist him when your body is practically dripping with need.

‘gonna show you who you belong to, bunny,’ he murmurs.

coriolanus presses hot kisses down your neck, nipping softly at the skin. you wonder how many bruises he’ll leave this time—last time you were left wearing your mother’s scarf for weeks until the hickeys had yellowed. you toss your head back, body waiting to surrender itself to him.

‘so fuckin’ needy,’ he says, pulling away from your neck, hands still firmly planted on your thighs.

you mewl, bucking your hips forward with want. your panties are completely soaked, and you want nothing more than to touch yourself, but you don’t want to find out what he’ll do if you dare to start rubbing at your sensitive spot.

‘please,’ you gasp, rubbing your thighs together, completely ravenous and desperate for his cock.

coriolanus removes his hands from your thighs, and sinks down to his knees, prying your legs apart. one hand creeps up the smooth expanse of your thigh, edging towards its apex. your heart thrums in anticipation.

‘i never want to see you talking to sejanus again,’ he spits, finger reaching inside your soaked panties. ‘i can’t believe you thought you could get away with it—fuckin’ whore. i bet you want his cock in you, huh? did you let him fuck you? bet he wasn’t even any good. his dick is tiny.’

his taunts are personal and deeply rooted. you can see the disgust in his eyes, glistening with revile at the thought of his so-called friend. poor sejanus, he didn’t deserve any of this.

you are left at a loss for words as he slides a finger inside your cunt, feeling the wetness of your folds. you’re aching for him, and let out a cry as he touches you.

‘so wet…’ he muses. ‘and all for me.’

he slips another finger inside and you clench the sheets between your hands, rutting your hips a little to increase the friction.

he uses his free hand to slap you clean across the face, and you gasp, the imprint of his slap stinging your cheek. any other man would’ve warranted a slap in return, but you remained still, watching him in wide-eyed awe.

‘don’t fucking move. i’m going to teach you a little lesson in obedience. do you understand, bunny?’ he asks, brow cocked in expectation.

‘yes sir,’ you murmur, eyes fluttering shut. you’re too bent on your own pleasure to argue.

he bows his head and nestles it between your thighs, lips trailing along the warm skin of your inner thigh. he takes his time, sucking and biting his way up the apex, all the while his fingers are slipping in and out of your wet hole. your clit throbs, suffering from a lack of attention, and you let out a desperate whine in the hopes that he’ll hurry up.

‘mhm,’ you gasp as you feel him lick your wet folds.

his tongue is deft in its ministrations—he licks around the glossy folds, coating them in his saliva, and then parts your lips to find your clitoris, which is inflamed with the desire to be touched.

his lips circle around it, and he begins to suck, causing you to let out a breathless sigh. the friction of his tongue and his fingers makes your cunt clench and body hum with pleasure. you root one hand in the short strands of his hair, lamenting that it isn’t long enough to pull, but nonetheless you clutch at him as he continues to lave his tongue over your sensitive bud.

‘so good,’ you murmur, toes curling with delight.

it doesn’t take long for your body to start tingling with arousal, his tongue is so careful in its ministrations that you’re left gasping for air. he eats you like you’re his last meal.

your walls are pulsing with desire as you feel yourself unfurl, his lips sucking at your clit. your heart is racing, and you feel the slickness gushing out of your wet hole. he moves his tongue down to lap it up, savouring the sweetness of your slick.

‘oh…’ you sigh, lips tingling with the pleasant sensations of your orgasm.

coriolanus doesn’t leave much time for your respite, though, and in your post-coital state, he grabs your hips roughly and turns you over, ass facing him.

‘i’m so fuckin’ hard,’ he groans, palming the bulge through his trousers.

you’re still wet, and when he pulls his cock out of his pants, he presses the tip hotly against your hole. you let out a gasp, wiggling back in an attempt to coax him in further, but he slaps your ass.

‘oh bunny,’ he laughs. ‘you’re not being very good now, are you?’

you shake your head. you can’t help it, you want nothing more than him filling you up, stretching you out with his big cock.

he grasps your hips and guides himself into your hole, sheathing himself fully inside of you. you let out a moan—he’s so fucking big that it hurts. but you like how roughly he handles you, how he treats you like you’re nothing more than a fuckdoll for his pleasure.

‘so fuckin’ tight,’ he grunts as he bucks into your tight cunt.

you grind your hips a little, feeling your cunt taking him in, walls expanding around his cock. he’s gripping so hard at your hips that you can feel little bruises forming—a reminder of who you belong to.

‘bet sejanus couldn’t fuck you this well,’ he scowls as he pounds your hole. ‘probably can’t even make you cum.’

you mewl as you feel his cock press against your most sensitive spot, causing a wave of pleasure to wash over you.

‘is that right, bunny?’ he reaches down to grab a fistful of your hair, yanking you up to meet his face. his breath is hot with frustration. he can’t believe you dared to flirt with fucking sejanus of all people.

‘y-yes,’ you stutter out, unable to form words without your teeth clashing together with the way he’s pounding your cunt.

he pulls himself entirely out, still clutching your hair. your scalp tingles as the strands are tugged away from it. coriolanus rams his cock back into you, causing you to cry out in a mottle of pain and pleasure.

‘don’t fucking stutter!’ he spits. ‘can’t even take a simple order. you’re so fucking stupid.’

you gasp as he pistons his cock out of your hole roughly, seemingly not having a care for how you feel. it does make your body dance with warmth—you like being punished, going out of your way, in fact, to displease him.

‘i’m sorry,’ you murmur, clutching desperately at your bedsheets.

‘i’m sorry what?’ he asks, mouth pressed flush against your ear.

he slaps your ass again, this time harder, causing your knees to buckle. how pathetic. you can’t even take a hit.

‘i’m sorry, sir,’ you manage to muster up.

‘good girl, bunny,’ he grins, and lets go of your hair.

his cock is throbbing from the way you begin to clench around him, body surrendering itself once again to pleasure. you don’t know how he does it—in fact, you’ve never finished like this before. his tip is pressing flush against your g spot, and your legs begin to tremble as you feel yourself unfurl.

‘so good,’ you gasp out, lips pressing together in satisfaction.

it only takes him a few more thrusts to finish—and he’s not gentle with them, pounding you like the little whore you are. you can’t help but pant and gasp as he fills your tight hole with hot, sticky spurts of cum.

‘you’re so good to me, bunny,’ he pulls out of you, cock dripping.

he watches as his cum dribbles out of your hole, and moves to press himself back in. you both sigh at the overstimulation—you more so, you can barely take it, it’s too much for you.

‘coryo…’ you pant. ‘please, no more.’

‘oh bunny,’ he clucks his tongue. ‘i don’t think you get much of a say in that…’

he laughs, pleasure coursing through his veins as he pushes his cum further back up into you. you’re all his. how dare you think you can just betray him for sejanus—nobody else can have you now, not when his hot sticky load is filling you up.

‘such a little whore,’ he groans, rubbing a hand over your ass.

you feel him pull out, finally, and he sits down next to you on your bed. you’re still exposed, and he takes advantage of this, rubbing his hands over your thighs. you squirm, still throbbing from excess stimulation, and he only laughs in reply.

‘what would your daddy do if he knew you were taking peacekeeper cock in his house?’ he teases, watching as you attempt to pull your panties back up.

‘but he won’t know,’ you sigh, not wanting to fret too much.

coriolanus chuckles a little, glancing out the window. he can see your father heading up the path, disgruntled look drawn upon his features.

‘you’re about to find out,’ he remarks, and you shoot up, making your way over to the window.

your heart pounds in your chest, hands trembling as you attempt to figure out how you’re going to cover this one up. you can’t believe coriolanus is laughing—it won’t be funny if your father decides he should be shot.

‘fuck,’ you breathe heavily, attempting to make yourself look presentable.

‘he won’t be happy,’ you tell him, opening your bedroom door and forcing him out in the hopes that it will appear as if he was just paying you a visit.

‘and who’s fault is that?’ he cocks a brow, standing now in the hall.

you shut your bedroom door behind you, still able to hear the crunch of your father’s feet on the gravel. you had about two minutes to come up with a lie—not that you were sure that coriolanus would go along with it.

‘it’s not funny at all, coryo,’ you say in a hushed tone. ‘he won’t hesitate to shoot you.’

you usher him into the living room, and fix your dress—half of it had been caught in your panties. he’s watching you with hungry eyes, not failing to see that the situation was far from humorous.

‘what are you going to tell him?’ he asks, wrapping an arm around your waist. ‘that you were receiving a peacekeeper in his home?’

you scoff at the innuendo, not having time for crassness. you can’t let your father find out. it would be the end for both of you—he wouldn’t know how to take it if his darling daughter was in the arms of one of his men—especially private snow. perhaps he would’ve taken it better if you’d gone to the hob with sejanus—at least that relationship was of mutual benefit.

‘don’t you dare say that,’ you gasp, shaking your head at the thought of your father hearing the words come out of coriolanus’ mouth.

‘don’t you think he should know that his daughter is a little whore?’ he says snidely, and you shove him, eyes blazing with fury.

‘please,’ you beg him, watching as he laughs cruelly.

you can see your father at the door now, and you distance yourself, attempting to keep up the appearance that it was just a visit, nothing more.

when he enters, you can see a look of confusion cross his face. a peacekeeper, in his home, with his daughter, and not private plinth at that? you watch as he goes to rest his hand on the holster of his gun.

‘to what do we owe a visit from private snow?’ he inquires, looking you two up and down suspiciously.

‘oh it’s nothing, daddy,’ you say before coriolanus can speak. you keep a watchful eye on his movements, but surprisingly he is completely still before his commander.

‘nothing?’ he inquires, slight anger in his tone. ‘what does he have to say to you that he can’t say in front of me? you know my rules about this.’

your lip quivers, but you can’t show your guilt. you have to pretend as if he is there for good reason—not that he practically chased you into the house to fuck you.

‘daddy i promise, private snow was only coming to speak to you,’ you bite your lip nervously, hoping coriolanus will say something sensible to vouch for you.

your father glances at coriolanus, who is standing tall, towering over him, and yet he does not appear to have all the authority, you can tell he thinks it. your father is only district, after all. he really had more power than the both of you, being capitol and the son of general crassus snow. not that he wanted to incur the wrath of a commander when he was only a mere peacekeeper in 12—something which he resented.

‘your daughter is right, commander hoff,’ coriolanus says cooley ‘i came to report an incident to you.’

your father nods, and you feel a wave of relief wash over your body. he seems to believe it, for he’s not looking at you with much suspicion anymore. you want to thank coriolanus—it’s the kindest thing he’s done for you, and that itself stings, but you’re too cock-drunk to fret too much over it.

‘you must excuse us, sweetheart,’ your father says, signalling for you to leave them.

your heart pounds in your chest as you turn away, now left to fret over whether or not coriolanus is going to betray you to your father. you can only hope that his egoism doesn’t get the best of him.

#coriolanus snow #tom blyth #tbosbas #coriolanus snow x reader #hunger games #smut #coryo x reader #the hunger games #coryo smut #coriolanus snow smut #the hunger games smut #the hunger games x reader #fanfic #tbosbas x reader #tbosbas smut #x reader #female x reader #tom blyth x reader

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s-4pphics · 4 months

Text

click!: in frame. 2 (e.w.)

SYNOPSIS: you crave redemption more than love. [idk au]

WORD COUNT: 11.5k

WARNINGS: professionalphotographer!ellie, strugglingartist!oc who’s black, ANGST!!, daddy issues, SA/victim blaming :(, homophobia LOL, anger issues\violence, bad parenting, anxiety, joel standing on bidness, FLUFF!! :3, SMUT… MDNI, ellie bottoms YAAAS, virginity mentions, jealousy😂, dubcon (they’re high), more fingering, brief mentions of cunning lunning, squirting, mult. big Os, err dassit

A/N: YYYYAASSSSSSSS hi… bye

APRIL, 2014

Happy birthday, babe, you whisper in your girlfriend’s ear, arms wrapped around her neck from behind. Ceniyah’s giggly thank yous fill your ears and heart as you press smacking kisses on her cheek.

I made you something… You reach behind and grab the rolled-up poster paper sticking out of your backpack, making sure Ceniyah doesn’t turn around. She seems giddy and your heart soars. You hope that all-nighter was worth it. Please, you pray to yourself, please love it.

Close your eyes and gimme your hand, you say and she listens, palm open in front of your face. You place the scroll in her hand and she gasps. She whips around to face you, shock written all over her, and you giggle. She unrolls the painting and her head instantly falls back, tears jerking behind her glasses.

Are you seriously crying right now! You pull her tight to your chest and she sobs into your neck, C’mon, baby, stop cryin’! S’okay. You coo and her arms tighten around your waist.

D-D’you like it? Your face burns when you whisper.

Are you fucking serious! She squeaks into your neck, It’s beautiful, baby, I love it. T-Thank you—

I love you so much, you mumble, and she says it back.

You haven’t slept at all. Your body’s going to collapse soon. You hope it’s not during this phone call.

You ogle at the small card in your hand, pressing the digits into your device before hitting the call button. It rings twice before a bright voice answers.

“Hello, this is Lisa Meyers speaking. How can I be of service?”

… Interesting intro. “Good morning, um, Professor Meyers?”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“I… we spoke at the coffee shop yesterday. About the… assisting art professors alumni thing.”

“Oh, of course! How are you, dear?”

“I’m good. Um… I was wondering if you’d have some time to speak with me about it... If that’s cool.”

You can hear her wide smile through the line, “More than cool! Would you be able to come into the office tomorrow?”

An extra day in the city wouldn’t hurt (it would), “No problem. What time were you thinkin’?”

“My mornings are always open! How does ten sound?”

“Sounds like a plan. Uh, thank you,” you say with twitchy fingers.

“Course, hun! I’ll put you in and I’ll see you tomorrow!”

You never expected to end up back here.

The campus art studio looks exactly the same, only now the old portraits, sculptures, ceramics that were lined up on shelves of the display case are all replaced with new, nameless ones. You’re not used to seeing projects that you couldn’t attach a name to in the classroom. Your university years never feel that long ago, but the randomly placed structures are proof of your long-term absence.

Time is an illusion… Or you’re getting old as fuck and about to be lowered into the ground. Freshmen make you sick(affectionately).

Professor Meyers explained the position well enough for you to manage on your own. The work you’re doing isn’t difficult: oversee, assist in grading, oversee some more, oversee, and guide. You’re practically getting a check for being the already observant individual that you are. It’s a steal!

The position only lasts around a month, but Professor Meyers was convinced that it would only take someone as talented as you (her words… although you agree) a week to get on her toes. You vowed to bring your sketchbook every day from here on out, both to yourself and to her, in case you get the inkling of inspiration that you desperately need.

The job’s a small win. That’s all you could ask for right now.

Fuck all that shit you said at the start of the week. TAing fucking sucks. And you still haven’t had any inspiration despite all the efforts from the students! Whenever you pick up a utensil, you stab through your paper. You’ve officially lost your touch. You’re a regular bitch with no talent! What the fuck is going on!

You’ve had numerous breakdowns in bathroom stalls since Monday, and you’re bound to have another one in the next fifteen seconds. Why the fuck did so many students leave their filled water cups on the fucking tables. Guess who has to clean all that shit up! You! Fuck freshman(unaffectionately).

You’re so happy the halls are empty in between rotations. No one needs to watch you sobbingly wipe down tables splattered with paint.

After Professor Ronson’s room is tidy, you start prepping the board for the next rotation of students. They’re learning about anatomy today; There’s bound to be at least three students that scribble tiny dicks in the corner of their starter pages. You hate it here.

You open the drawer to retrieve all the sharpeners, only to find the container completely empty. You’re sick of the animators not putting shit back. You begrudgingly make your way back down the hall and into Professor Lacey’s room… You should’ve never left.

Your lungs constrict with your gasp and you almost drop your keys.

A just as shocked Ellie gawks back at you, laminated name tag with YEARBOOK dangling from the camera strap around her neck.

What the fuck.

Ellie’s either hallucinating or dead. Yeah… She has to be dead. The haunting of your email was too much and she died and now she’s seeing shit—

An angel disguised as you is staring back at her, fist clenched under the sleeves of your sweater, brown eyes just as stunned as hers. Ellie barely has time to gather words before the chains hooked onto the pockets of your jeans jingle as you step out of the room and scurry down the hallway. Ellie’s feet are flying before she can even register their movements, hot on your trail as her camera bounces on her chest.

She manages to get close enough to grab your bicep, ignoring the stuttering in her heart when she sees the former light in your eyes replaced with something darker. The flourishing storm in your pupils is uncontrollable.

Ellie drops your arm when she realizes you won’t run, “W-What are you doing here?”

Your gaze is locked onto the tile squares on the ground. “I-I’m, uh… just enjoyin’ the weather— “

Ellie’s brows pull downward, eyes flicking towards the badge wrapped around your neck. Do you work here? “We’re indoors.” She mumbles dryly.

“Nothin’ like… the spring rain hittin’ the windows, am I right?“ You huff with a nervous smile, eyes flitting around the hallway as you search for an escape. Ellie’s not having that.

“We needa talk.”

You sigh, “I can’t. I’m working.”

“So am I. Take your break,” Ellie grabs your wrist and drags you back down the hallway, leading you to the bathroom and pushing you into a stall, locking the door behind her.

Her voice is quiet when she presses, “The fuck are you doing here?”

Ellie expects you to snap, to push the same questioning back onto her, but you don’t. Your mouth gapes like a fish as you stumble over words. Ellie’s eyes soften when she sees a shaky hand come up to pin a loc behind your ear. You’re shaken up and she instantly notices something off. Your demeanor has shifted immensely since she last seen you and it’s making Ellie’s stomach twist with discomfort. She's never seen you this stunted.

“What.” Ellie asks when you mumble to the floor.

“I’m sorry about the email,” You sound winded, “I thought… I dunno. I’m sorry about everythin’.” Your lip starts to quiver as you ramble, “I would’ve never come if I knew, I’m sorry— “

… What the hell are you talking about? And why are you crying?

You sniffle and wipe your tears with your sleeves and Ellie’s fingers itch to comfort, to dry your face herself, but she doesn’t. She watches you weep into your palms for what feels like hours, the air of the restroom suffocatingly tight.

“I didn’t mean to ruin anything you h — had going on, okay? I’m sorry… I’ll leave right now! You’ll never have to see me again— “

Your sobs are stressing her, “G-Gimme your phone.” Ellie blurts.

You're already digging in your pocket for your device to unlock it, “W-Why— “

Ellie snatched it from your hand, heart pulling when she sees a photo of younger you being carried by a woman shoved in your case. The same face that was littered all over your apartment, “You wanted to talk so bad, right?” Ellie presses her new number into the pad and calls herself, “You have my number. My…”

When she looks up, her words get swallowed up; Your eyes still manage to glow under the… horrific bathroom lighting, glittering like stars in the late night. She clears her throat to catch herself, “My shift ends at four. Call me any time after that.”

Ellie hurries to unlock the stall before leaving you in the bathroom, heart in her throat as she heaves all the way down the hallway to the lounge, shaking her hands to get the jitters out.

She knew she should’ve never accepted a call from the alumnus association. Fuck the yearbook.

You clock out with a heavy, anxious heart.

Three students came up to you and asked for advice on their starter shapes. They were a bit upset when their circles didn’t come out perfect, and you almost cried. It was too sweet. Your bag bounces off your back as you descend the staircase to exit the building. The droplets hit your hood with fever as you skip to your car. You jump into the driver’s seat to turn the heat on, teeth chattering from the evening breeze.

You check the time on your dash and… it’s way past four. You hope Ellie’s willing to meet. You dial the most recent number and tremble as the phone rings. She answers after the second tone.

“Hello?”

She sounds so relaxed, and your shoulders unlock, “… Hi. It’s… me?”

A lengthy pause, “… Me who?”

You hide a snort, “Um… ex-roomie?” She chuckles lightly. “Hi.”

“… Hi.” You whisper, “Did you, um… still wanna talk to me?” You think you hear the click of a lighter.

“Mhm. I’ll send you where I stay at.”

“Okay… I’ll see you soon?”

“Yup.” And with that, the line goes dead. Ellie’s location delivers not even a minute later. Her hotel isn’t far from here. . . and fuck, it looks like wealth. Your nerves are nowhere near settled after your last attempt at reconciliation, and paranoia is itching beneath your skin.

You open your GPS and blast your screamo playlist, hollering your way down the street with your windows down, rain be damned.

You’re burning holes through Ellie’s hotel room door.

You haven’t knocked, you haven’t rang. . . you're not even sure if your text of arrival went through. You just stare at the peephole with a clenched jaw. This big bag of Cool Ranch Doritos is doing an excellent job as a stress ball. It’s bound to pop from your grip soon.

Your bladder almost lets loose when the door gets pulled open, nostrils instantly hit with wafts of that forbidden flower. You’re pulled through the small crack by a strong grip before the door is shut and locked behind you.

Ellie faces you, bare arms on display, and leans back against the door… in those fucking grey sweats. After all this time, they still cause damage to your soul, “Sorry. I don’t wanna get kicked out.”

“It’s… you’re good.” You point behind her, trying not to gawk at her tattoo, “How’d you know— “

“You breathe loud.” She says simply, tone hushed and raspy. She nods behind you, “Sit down.”

She follows you to the lounge chairs that face each other. You sit, still tense, suddenly back in therapy, “I-I brought you somethin’.” You push the crumpled bag of chips towards her as she relights her joint.

Her pink, doe-eyes flit between yours and the bag before she mumbles, “Thank you.”

“No problem…” You awkwardly set them on the windowsill, swallowing your guilt and deciding to take initiative, “I… I know you have a lot of things going on and I don’t wanna take up too much of your time… I’m just…”

The loud splattering of raindrops is nerve-wracking, “I wasn’t… I didn’t treat you well. College was a very hard time for me and I didn’t really know how to deal with it without being a bitch—”

Carbon leaves her nose, “Is that your excuse?”

“N-No, no! I’m not… I’m not tryna avoid blame. I was terrible and you — no one deserved what I put them through… I-I’m really sorry, Ellie… From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.”

Ellie’s silent. You have no idea what she’s thinking; She could be plotting to get you kicked out of her room right now and you wouldn’t know. Her stare isn’t angry, it isn’t anything… she just watches you. Every squeeze of your hands, bounce of your knee, every tic photographed in her memory. Just like before.

“Why're you back on campus?”

You exhale the breath you’d been holding, “Um… I gotta, like, TA job, I guess. With the art profs.”

“Still doing art, then, I guess.”

You stare down at your lap, “Yeah. Trying to.” You croak.

“Trying?” She asks, brows furrowed. Your shoulders bounce in a shrug. “I, err, hadn’t made anything in a while so… yeah. I thought it’d get me back into it.”

“Are you?”

“Hm?”

“Are you back into it?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Why were you so upset when I moved out?” Ellie’s tone shifts into something much more delicate, ready to crack and bleed open at any given moment. You can’t tell her, your brain bellows over the pleads from your heart. You can’t tell her how much you missed her!

Your jaw slacks dumbly as you search for a believable explanation, mind blanking under her scrutinizing stare.

“I was drunk. I-I don’t remember…”

“You were drunk and don’t remember.” You cringe at her tone.

“Ellie… I don’t wanna— “

“Don’t wanna what? Actually be fucking honest?” Your babbles are silenced as she rants. “You reached out to me and you can’t even answer one question honestly. Why’d you even come?” She seems so disappointed in your response, but what can you do? Tell her how every part of your body yearns to be next to her? How you almost collapse when you saw her for the first time in what felt like an eternity? How manipulative would that be after everything you’ve done?

Ellie’s index finger jumps on the armrest as silence takes over once more. She’s deep in thought, it seems, teeth nipping at the skin of her lip.

“Ellie— “

“When I moved out…” She repeats sternly, “you told me you didn’t want me to go. Why did you say that?”

It’s on the tip of your tongue: because I’m weak and I like you! I’m sorry I didn’t fight! I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I’m sorry!

“B-Because I didn’t want you to go…” You whisper between sniffles, wiping your nose with your sleeve.

“Why's that?”

“I… really liked having you around…” You chose your words very carefully, but they’re not a lie. “You’re… you’re really nice.”

That seems to satisfy her a little, “I’m really nice?” Ellie’s brow quirks, a tiny smile blossoming on her face.

“And funny.” You sob, “Like, I laughed a lot.”

“You’re funny, too,” Ellie says awkwardly while scratching her ear. Your heart pulses.

Her eyes search yours, “I didn’t know how I would react when you got here. The thought of seeing you really… fucking freaked me out.” She scoffs to herself, and your shoulders begin to droop. “But… um...” She pauses and your pulse pounds in your neck. Tears brim in your ducts. This is when she tells you to leave. To fuck off. To drop dead, for fucks sake—

“I’m glad you reached out.”

You gawk in disbelief before your bottom lip trembles, “Really?” You ask meekly. She simply nods.

“Me, too.” You’re really trying not to cry right now, but the softness in her gaze isn’t helping. She’s too sweet. You change the topic before you say something you’ll regret. You point to the bag of chips, “I really hope you like that flavor. I just grabbed it because I was overthinking.”

“I don’t know why you bought those. I still owe you a bag from what I remember,” She grabs them, squeezing the end until the other side pops open. She grabs four ships and crunches them all at once before extending the bag to you. You follow her lead and munch to your heart's content.

“I was never mad at you, y’know.” Ellie sets the bag down and reignites her roach. “I wasn’t, uh, innocent, either. We both fucked up,” She puffs and hands it to you. You've never smoked bud before, only stole a couple of Abby’s edibles a while back. She vowed never to smoke with you since you’re a tweaker.

You accept the charred-to-hell baby jay and stare at it. You shrug, “Wasn’t worse than me. How do I do this without burning my finger off?”

“Err… just breathe in and hold it.” She instructs. “Have you never gotten high?”

“I have. I don't— “

“Oh, yeaaah. Non-smoker. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you mumble before bringing the remnants up to your lips and sucking in. Nothing happens. Ellie snickers, “Not like that. It’s not a fucking lollipop. Just, like, fill your cheeks up and hold it.”

… Are you an idiot? “I don’t know what that means.” Ellie cackles like a witch at your lost expression, nearly falling over in her chair. Your cheeks burn and you try again, cheeks expanding to fill in the smoke. The second you inhale, you start choking, eyes bulging out of your skull from the burn in your chest.

Ellie finds your near-death experience fucking hysterical as she hollers from her seat. Tears stream down your face and the veins in your neck are bulging as you gasp for air. You’re never doing this shit again. Your lungs finally decide to spare you when Ellie passes you water from her dresser. You gulp that shit down like no tomorrow as Ellie’s giggles dwindle.

“What the,” cough, “fuck— “

“Fucking baby lungs,” Ellie mumbles with a grin. “You’ll be fine after a couple tries.”

You chug more water, “Girl… fuck you.” You gasp. Ellie’s grin turns cocky when her head tilts.

“Fuck me?” Her voice lowers and goosebumps rise on your skin. Your heart stops in your chest and your gaze falls to the floor as your tummy swirls in delight, cheeks fiery. You stand and Ellie sits up at your sudden alertness.

“Um… Like I said, thank you for taking the time to talk to me today. I really appreciate it.” Ellie stands to grab your arm when your feet slowly start backing towards the door.

Her smile drops, “I-I’m sorry. I was just kidding—”

“No, it’s fine! It’s not you! I just, uh… y’know what I mean?”

“… No.” She mumbles, “You don’t… have to go yet. You just got here.” She chuckles weakly.

“I just… don’t wanna… pry.” You whisper like it’s shameful. Ellie’s head shakes in denial, “You’re not! I’m… inviting you.”

Your eyes beg her to understand where you’re coming from. It’s not like you don’t want to, but the two of you just got back cool three seconds ago. The last thing you want to do is force yourself back into her life. Your relationship needs time to marinate and heal before anything else happens… if she allows it.

“I… I still miss Pickle?” You suggest with bright eyes, and Ellie’s soften despite her confusion. “Would it be okay if I see her?” You ask quietly.

Her mouth turns upwards, “How long are you in town?”

“I don’t know… These hotel bills are runnin’ my credit in the fucking mud.” You sigh.

“She’s with my dad right now. Come this weekend. I’m outta here on Friday, anyways.” She suggests, cheeks glowing in the dimming room. You hope Ellie doesn’t notice your dejection at the mention of her father… It still stings. Her eyes are so hopeful, meadows flurrying with excitement… and you can’t say no.

“…Okay.”

“Yeah?” She confirms, smile widening. You nod. “She misses you like crazy.” Ellie notes and tears get to cooking. You think about Pickle every day. Little munchkin.

“I miss her, too.” You sniffle. The hand that rests on your bicep slowly slides down your sleeve, closing around your wrist. Not strong, but her hold is steady. Ellie whispers your name.

“Hm?”

“I’m glad we’re… okay.” Your heart soars with adoration. Her eyes explore your face in admiration, and your body glows.

“Me, too. Thank you.” Ellie’s gentle gaze drops to your lips and you stiffen. Your hands clench when she moves an inch closer. It kills you to move away, and an inkling of hurt overcasts in her forest. She lets you go and backs away, “Sorry— “

Your head shakes desperately, “S’okay, I just think we should… move… slower?” You never fail to sound like an alien who just arrived on Earth, but Ellie seems to get it.

“Yeah, I… yeah.” Ellie stares at her sock-covered feet, red dusting her cheeks. You try to hide a smile while she walks you towards her door. She opens it for you, propping up against it.

“See you Friday?” You throw over your shoulder and Ellie grins. “See you Friday.” She parrots. You can’t stop cheesing even after she closes the door. You make your way back into your driver’s seat, heart bleeding with relief.

MAY, 2014

Her record is clean! I would’ve never expected this from such a great kid, your professor says to your father, But violence, especially to this extreme, is completely unacceptable—

What about what he did to me! You shout, and your father glares at your tone, He put his hands on me first! H-He—

Your body shudders in disgust at the recall of your classmate touching you the way he did. You were on your way to class when hands enclosed around your chest in a tight squeeze, all oxygen leaving your body. It was abrasive and made your skin crawl, and you swung. Your arms moved on their own until you were on top of him, his nose gushing blood while his friends attempted to pry you off.

There was laughter when he groped you. So many people — students that you see every day — all watched it, and no one came to your defense.

Your principal sighs with his palms up, I’m just trying to get to the bottom of what happened—

No, you’re not! I already told you what happened and you’re tryna make it seem like I’m lying! You stand and grab your bag off the floor, stomping towards the door to the office, Y’all can choke—

Your dad calls out for you, and your fingers twitch at his tone, but you keep walking, pushing past the double-doors of the school and towards the bike rack. Tears flood your eyes when the double doors slam shut, your father berating you about making a scene in public. You unlock your ride, blocking out his rampage that draws the security guard’s attention.

He put his hands on me, dad! You shriek as loud as you can between your cries, He put his hands on me! Why’re you yellin’ at me?

I’m not yelling at you! I’m yelling in general! You scoff and swing your leg over your bike, strapping your helmet on, I’m tryna understand what happened! You broke his goddamn nose! They’re boutta suspend you!

Imma be at Maya’s, you say, monotone. I’ll see you later.

Amaya isn’t even home. Your dad’s hollering his lungs out as you ride down the sidewalk, but you block it all out until the wind fills your ears like a monsoon. You’re not sure where you’re going, but it’s somewhere.

Hopefully somewhere you can cry to yourself without disturbance.

It’s your first day back at school since being suspended. Fuck everybody… except Amaya and Ceniyah. You probably would’ve switched schools if it wasn’t for them. You can’t wait to see them during lunch and tell them how fucked up it’s been staying at home.

Today has been weird as fuck, to say the least. Friends that you’ve grown used to talking to in the hallways have either disappeared or ignored you. It’s quiet around you, now, and you’re on edge. What the fuck is going on?

Walking into the cafeteria is frightening. It’s always loud, rowdy, hectic, but the minute you step foot inside, everything seems to stop. You grip your tray so tight; you think it’s about to snap, frantically searching for your girlfriend.

But your two favorite people are nowhere to be seen. You wander and come up empty-handed. Where the fuck are they—

Your thoughts are cut when a shoulder shoves right into yours. You throw your tray onto the nearest table. Laughter surrounds you before a snarky voice shriek in your ears.

Watch where the fuck you’re going,

No, you watch where the fuck you’re going. Dumb ass bitch, You spit. You're about to get suspended for knocking this broad out. Who even is this?

Coming from the slut who cheated on her girlfriend! Are you sure you’re a lesbian? Or are you going back to dick?

The entire room seems to collapse from top to bottom, crushing you beneath clutter in attempts to suffocate. You freeze when everyone turns to stare at the scene, some standing to surround you, hoping to see a fight. You release a shuddering breath as your fist clench.

… Cheated on your girlfriend? You love your girlfriend. You’re in love with your girlfriend, and she’s in love with you! What the fuck is this bitch talking about.

I think she’s going back to dick! One of them laughs, and the rest follow, and the entire room glows red.

Your knuckles are drenched in the color when your dad comes to pick you up.

PRESENT

Maybe being a TA is helping. You’ve finally pulled your sketchbook out of your work bag.

The point of your fine liner hovers over a blank page of your sketchbook. You can’t stop thinking about Ellie, and you don’t have many distractions.

It’s been so long since you’ve created anything, and frankly, your ass is clenched with anxiety. Never in your life would you think that creating art would wrack your nerves in such a way, but your insecurities are working hard. Probably the hardest they ever have. Once upon a time, your sketchbook was your safe haven, and now the feeling of blank pages feels like needles.

What if you’ve… lost your talent? You can see everything you want to make clearly in your head but your pen isn’t moving. The attempts at reigniting your passion would be pointless if you can no longer fucking draw. Your fingers are itching.

Maybe you should try that corny shit from the movies where they close their eyes and move their utensils on pure muscle memory… Maybe you should do fucking shrooms! Visuals always peak on psyches, according to the experts. At this point, why the fuck not—

“Son of a fucking — this is fucking stupid, bitch, jus’ fuckin’ draw,” you mutter to yourself in agitation. Just fucking draw! You do this! You do this, you do this!

Minutes pass and your paper is mussed with smudged, small ink marks from constantly moving your pen around, trying to find the right angle. Another piece of paper gone to waste. You fucking suck. You slam your pen down on the table.

You stand and start to pace, “Positive affirmations only,” You remind yourself aloud, “You got this shit, like, what the fuck. Everything’s gonna come back to you. You’re in a funk and tha’sit. It’ll pass, it’ll pass— “

Whoever your hotel neighbor is… Praying for their sleep schedule.

It’s going to be a long night.

“Hello?”

“Hi, kiddo. Sorry I missed your call. Your pet knocked out on my hand.”

Ellie giggles, “It’s cool. How ya been?”

“Fine… She’s a rascal, ain’t she? I found her head first in one of my flower pots. Her tiny legs were wiggling tryna get herself out,” His chuckles are like warm hugs, “How’s work?”

Ellie’s cackles calm, “Also fine… Err…Um… speaking of Pickle…”

Her dad hums, and Ellie sighs, “Remember when I told you about how I found her?”

“Yeah… You and that girl found the poor thing freezing to death outside… Why?”

“… Would you believe me if I said we somehow reunited by the grace of God and she’s coming back with me tomorrow?” Ellie squeaks, and her confidence drops when he exhales. It sounds heavy.

“Um… for what?”

“To see Pickle…”

“…Alright.”

“What’re you thinkin’,” She nips at her nails.

“Nothin’…”

“Dad…”

“I dunno what you want me to say, darlin’… Everything you’ve told me about her so far wasn’t… great to hear.”

Ellie rolls onto her back, “Yeah… I dunno. Something’s different about her now.”

“How so?”

She can’t tell him how badly your shielded eyes have taken a toll on her. How desperately she wants them to revert to the shining rivers they used to be. How badly her chest ached when you left her room last night, “I dunno. It just is…” She mutters weakly. Another heavy sigh.

“I mean… You’re an adult. I can’t tell you what to do anymore.”

“Don’t be like that, please.”

“Not being like anything. I can only accept.”

Ellie’s hand drags down her face in exasperation. The rants she relinquished onto her dad about you are making her nauseas.

“Just… be nice to her, please.” He hums begrudgingly.

“Dad, I’m serious. I feel like we… could be friends.”

“Friends… Alright.” He sounds skeptical, but he isn’t combative. She hopes he’ll keep it together when he sees you, “How should I plan for this friend when she gets here?”

Ellie smiles sadly, “Make eggplant parmesan…”

Her dad snorts, “… Since when do you like eggplant?”

Ellie grins, “I don’t.”

Why can’t black roses be real?

Ellie doesn’t seem like a flower girl, but she has a gigantic leaf imprinted on her arm for the rest of her life; She must appreciate the autotroph kingdom. Your mother always told you how fucked it is to enter people’s homes empty handed. Walmart usually pulls through with the awkward housewarming gifts, but they’re slacking in their garden selection today. Fuck your life.

You’re forced to settle on peonies… They’re pretty and all, but you’d prefer alliums for her. Maybe even a carnation. Plus, Amaya always told you to never buy flowers that sound like penis.

Amaya… Are you really about to break down in the frozen food section? Maybe. It’s time to go. You're shocked to find out you have more than ten dollars on your card. Fuck hotels, from the depths of your soul.

You set your purchase in the passenger’s side and pull up Ellie’s pinged location. She left way earlier than you. You would’ve carpooled, but you couldn’t miss these hours for this paycheck. How are you a struggling student and not even in school?

The drive is going to be long.

At least you have time to scream out your frustrations.

“Hey, Siri.”

… UH HUH?

“Play This Cold Black by Slipknot.”

PLAYING THIS COLD BLACK BY SLIPKNOT.

Your head thrashes as you back out of your parking spot.

“WELCOME HOOO— “

The ride wasn’t long enough, actually. Ellie’s dad’s house is right there. Like… right fucking there, and your voice is almost gone. Clouds are beginning to roll in over the neighborhood. The universe is fucking with you. Great.

You dump the last bits of water into the thirty-dollar, peony-stuffed vase before exiting your car, backpack strapped over your shoulder. You climb the brick staircase with a pounding heart.

“Okay,” You croak, “Hi. Nice to meet you, Mr. Miller. I heard my — our cat was with you—“ You rehearse and cringe. Why are you pressing him about a cat in his domain?

“Fuck, okay, wait,” You try again, “Hi, Mr. Miller, I’m Ellie’s, uh, friend. We were roommates some time ago— “

Some time ago? Who the fuck are you? Shakespeare? Emily fucking Brontë? Get a fucking grip.

You almost drop the fucking vase when the door opens. Your coughs are uncontrollable when you see Ellie, eyes flicking between you and the ring light camera. Why the fuck does she look so good? Cartier watch, black button up and slacks, hair… neat. She’s about to trigger your asthma!

“Uh… you okay?” She questions flatly. You’re still choking on your own esophagus, but you send her two thumbs up anyway. You’re great! Terrific! Immediately scared shitless when a… big ass man holding a black furball creeps up behind her. He’s not as dolled-up as Ellie and it makes you less insecure. Why the fuck do you have this hoodie on? You should’ve at least worn some trousers!

“Nice to meet you.” His voice sounds like grovel. Gravel? You can’t fucking think right now! He adjusts Pickle in his grasp so he can extend a polite hand out to you, “I’m Joel. I’m Ellie’s father,” He sounds courteous, but there’s something simmering beneath his pupils as he stares at you.

His grip is strong when you accept it. You’re going to vomit, “I-I’m — I mean, hi, I’m, uh… Me’n Ellie used to live together—“ You sound like a frog who just learned how to speak.

“I’ve been told.” He hums.

Meow!

You almost start bawling at your baby’s cry. She's so big now and her coat is so shiny! She’s eating well. Ellie accepts the flowers with dusted cheeks before stepping aside and allowing you entry. You’re instantly hit with the smell of garlic… Can the whole bloodline throw down in the kitchen?

“Nice home!” You crack and cringe. You cringe so fucking hard. They both say thanks in unison, but her father’s is gruff while Ellie’s is delicate like petals. She can’t stop staring down at the flowers. Joel finally sets Pickle down so he can head back into the kitchen, and she follows him without hesitation.

She doesn’t remember you. Your heart shatters.

“Thank you for the flowers,” You hear Ellie say from beside you. You swallow the lump forming in your throat with a smile. “No problem… You look, um, great.” And you smell like heaven. Like clouds before the rain.

Her face gets redder and she grins behind petals, “Thank you. I got called in today. For… editing and whatnot.”

You snicker, “Whatnot?”

“Shut up. C’mon.” You follow her into the kitchen where she sets the vase in the middle of the dining table before waddling towards her dad, who stands over the stove. You stand back and watch as she playfully punches his upper arm while he stirs the simmering pot, cracking jokes amongst themselves while Pickle paws at Ellie’s calf. Your doting smile vanishes at their laughter; What a little happy family. Are you breathing?

You turn to face the living room and breathe in as deep as you can, eyes glued to their maroon couch. You crack your knuckles and release the wind in your lungs before repeating.

“You’re okay, it’s okay. You knew what it was before you came,” you whisper to yourself. Ellie mentioned how close her and her dad were way before you got here, so why is the pain in your chest so sharp?

A hand comes down on your shoulder and you jump, “Sor — fuck, sorry — “

“Are you okay?” Ellie asks, concerned.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Jus’ looking around,” You laugh shakily and note the large paper crane on the TV stand. You point at it, “That’s so cool! Did you make that? I love origami.”

“No, my dad did— “

Fuck, “Oh— “

“Yeah, um— “

“D-Do you have a restroom?”

She observes with worry, “… Yeah, right down that hall, to the left— “

“Thank you, BRB,” You’re practically running to the fucking bathroom. The door closes and locks and you pace. They have a nice shower curtain: black and white stripes. You count them all from top to bottom.

“Your dad’s dead, fucking relax, it’s been like that, it’s been like that,” You exhale shakily, tremors building in your hands, “You’re fine, you’re fine, calm the fuck down.” You unzip your hoodie and ball it up before shoving your face in it. Your screams into it are muffled.

You come up for air and stare into the mirror, “You’re fucking fine. The food smells good as fuck and you’re gonna eat and you’re fine.” You open the door and… kitty’s staring at you. She’s sitting pretty and inspecting your disheveled appearance.

“Hi, baby. Remember me?” You squat and stick your hand out to her. She sniffs curiously before nipping at your pinky. “Ow,” you coo with a smile.

“She remembers you.”

Ellie’s leaning against the wall with her arms folded over her chest. You need her to stomp the fuck out of you with affection; She looks so fucking good, fuck—

“I hope,” you squeak and cough. It scares the shit out of Pickle and she runs.

Ellie’s gaze lingers on your bare arms. “Can we talk for a sec?”

“Yup.” Sound casual, you think. You sprinkle a shrug in there. She nods before heading down the hall and entering the last door. You can’t hide your shocked expression at the scenery.

Every inch of the room is covered in posters, most of them about galaxies and all their intricacies. There’s a red racecar bed covered in Regular Show sheets and pillowcases and a bunch of stuffed animals, dresser covered with discarded sticker papers and seemingly empty polaroid cameras. There are fairy lights dangling from the ceiling before coming down and around the bed frame, across the closet, and finally slung over her dresser. There’s little action figures and trinkets everywhere.

The door closes behind you, “… Is this your room?”

Ellie snorts, “It was. Not anymore.”

You laugh, “I’m fuckin’ with it. That bed is crazy, though.” Ellie joins in, scratching at her ear. She takes a few steps until she’s in front of you, still at a distance. Thank God; Any closer and your celibacy goes down the drain.

“Sorry I only brought flowers. I would’ve brought fucking… cake or something if I knew y’all were gonna cook.” Ellie waves you off.

“The flowers were pretty. Thank you.”

Your entire face is on fire, “Y’know what I mean…” You cough.

“Um… I just wanted to talk to you about something. About my dad.”

There’s a hole in your chest that’s expanding. She takes your silence as attentive, “He can be really overprotective… like, he’s kinda stubborn.”

“Oh… I see where you get it from,” You laugh weakly, clearing your throat when Ellie doesn’t. “Sorry.” You mumble. Ellie looks down at her feet, “Does he not… like me?” You ask quietly, embarrassed out of your fucking mind.

“It’s not that, he’s just… I told him a little of what happened between us. Not everything, just some of it!”

“The… bad part, I’m assuming?” Her silence is enough confirmation.

Ellie looks like Pickle when she’s guilty. You remember when she hopped onto the counter and knocked over your water cup, eyes large and pleading for forgiveness over the mess she caused.

“M’not mad,” You mumble, “I probably would’ve done the same thing.” Probably is used very strongly.

“I’m sorr— “

“It’s okay— “

A knock comes from the other side of the door.

“Come eat, you two!”

“Coming!” Ellie yells back before rubbing her hands together. “I’m really— “

“Ellie, it’s fine,” You reassure her with a light slap on her bicep… It’s quite hard. “C’mon, uh… I’m hungry?” You brush past her and head towards the door, holding it open for her. “After you?”

Ellie reminds you of a strawberry milk squishmallow when she eases past you, trying to hide her smile and pink cheeks. Your cheeks puff as you release the air in your lungs, shutting her door behind you.

This is the best eggplant parmesan you’ve ever tasted in your goddamn life. Too bad you can’t enjoy it due to Ellie’s hardcore mobster dad sending you deadly glares from across the table. He hasn’t said a word this entire meal, and you’re not anticipating the minute he does. He’s going to blow a gasket.

“D’you like it?” Ellie says lowly from beside you. You nod your head with two thumbs up. You can’t hide your smile when you notice all the gooey cheese and noodles eaten off the pieces of eggplant.

“It’s delicious. Thanks Mr. Miller.”

“Don’t mention it.” He sounds like he means it. Your heart drops and Ellie scowls at him. Your fingers clench around your fork and you scarf down what you can. It’s so good and you’re so scared and you want this meal to be over.

You're the last to clean your plate so you stand in a rush, gathering all of the plates and spoons off the table before scurrying to the sink.

Ellie pads close behind you, “Oh, you don’t have to— “

You cut Ellie off with a nervous laugh, “The least I could do.” The dishes clatter and you grab a sudsy sponge. You waste no time, scrubbing the living hell out of these dishes.

“Go sit down, Ellie.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stand at his stern tone, “Wha— “

He slices through her refute, and still manages to sound calm, “Go.”

You continue to scrub, sighing at Ellie's descending stomps. Joel creeps into the open space in front of the sink, grabbing a dish and another sponge.

“Ellie told me you’re an artist.” He mutters over the running water.

“Yeah. Sorta.” You reply as calmly as you can.

“What are your intentions with my daughter?” He gets right to it, it seems. You scrub harder.

“Just… tryna make things right between us.”

“Why's that?”

Word vomit. You can’t help yourself. You’re so fucking nervous. “I-I fuc — sorry — I screwed over someone that was… really great. Your daughter’s a sweetheart and I feel awful with how things left off.” You stumble with a heated face. You catch the arch in his eyebrow and back pedal, “Not like we were — we weren’t dating or anything! Like, not like that! We just — “

“I was a student once upon a time. I know how these things go.” He snickers humorlessly. Your shoulders relax a smidge before he asks, “Why now?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you wait so long to talk to her? The two of you graduated forever ago.” His tone is much calmer than it was seconds ago, but anxiety surges in your gut at his questioning.

“I didn’t wanna reach out without being in the right headspace. I had… a lot going on and I had to handle it. Therapy’s hard as fu — heck,” You sigh, “I still don’t think I’m doin’ a good job, but… I dunno, it earned me a Michelin star eggplant parm. Must be doing something right.”

You don’t expect Joel to laugh, but he does. It’s hearty and deep. Very dad-esque. Your heart crushes to dust all over again.

“Look, kid,” Joel sets the clean plate in the rack before grabbing another, “I wasn’t gonna say much, but Ellie seems to like you… a lot. More than most people.” Your heart flurries back into shape at his observation. You want to ask what a lot means exactly, but he continues.

“She’s… she gets very attached to people. I know it’s hard to believe but she’s very… sensitive,” His voice is low, but he’s not bullshitting in the slightest. The protective aura has returned and it’s radiating back onto you, pushing you back. Keeping you at a distance from him. From Ellie, “I’m never gonna shit on anyone’s journey, but frankly… if you’re not here to stay, I’d suggest leaving her alone now.”

This is definitely a threat. But you don’t feel threatened. You feel… sad. Joel is doing what any great dad would when faced with an outsider: armoring his cubs by any means. Something you’ve never experienced. If meeting Joel has shown you anything, it’s been what you’ve missed out on your entire life. Little does he know the last thing you want to do is separate from Ellie a second time. Another breakdown is bound to crash into you very soon. You forgot where the bathroom was.

You’re not going anywhere. Your heart won’t allow it. “I’m— “

You’re interrupted by a loud rumble, instantly followed by the heavy droplets of pouring rain. It sounds like pebbles are being thrown at all windows of their home; Is it hailing?

“Holy shit,” Ellie calls from the living room window, “Was it supposed to storm tonight?”

“Yeah, it was on the news,” Joel confirms. Ellie rushes over and points her eyes to you.

“You’re not driving in that.” She breathes out. Your heart fist pumps, but you maintain nonchalance.

You shrug awkwardly, “I don’t wanna pry— “

“Nah, she’s right. We have a guest room.” Joel sighs, “Ellie, show her where it is. I’ll finish up in here.”

Ellie’s hand closes around your wrist before guiding you down the hall. The bathroom’s right across from the guest room. On the left side, you note.

“Fuck a guest room. You’re staying with me.” She mumbles and opens the cupboard. She grabs you some sleep shorts and presumably her father’s sweatshirts. You try to convince yourself that the strong pounds in your chest are from fear of the storm, and not at all from a lesbian slumber party.

… Fuck.

The storm is roaring outside. And Ellie’s chiefing in neon astronaut jammies. This feels like a fever dream.

“They glow in the dark.” Ellie hums around a cloud of smoke from where she sits across from you on the bed. You pause your gawking, “Huh?”

“My pjs glow in the dark. Wanna see?” Her eyes sparkle and your heart sprouts legs and sprints around in your ribcage.

“Fuck yeah.” You gasp. Ellie’s teeth shine before she puts her joint between her lips and leans across her bed to shut her lamp off. Every fiber of your being tries to not lock onto the smidge of skin that appears from under her sweatshirt when she stretches. The room goes dark around the neon pink and green outlines of the design. You choke out a laugh at the pigmentation; How the fuck are they so bright!

“Sorry if this is boring. I’ve never had a sleepover before.”

“Shut up, that’s cool as fuck! You gotta battery pack in there or somethin’?” Ellie giggles out a no. A smile stretches wide across your face when you look up at her, hers just as bright. “Are you sleepy?” You ask.

“Not at all,” she hums as she switches the lamp back on.

“We could play a gaaame,” You suggest sing-songy.

“Oh, fuck. Like what.” Ellie huffs a laugh.

“Truth or dare is a sleepover classic— “

“I’m not licking a toilet seat.” Ellie states flatly. Laughter explodes from you at her face. “I’m not a crazy dare-er like that. The most you’ll have to do is prank call an ex or some shit.”

“I don’t have an ex.”

“Oh… Well, a family member.” Ellie nods in acceptance. “Can I ask first?” She asks.

“Mhm. Lay it on me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Show me what’s in your backpack.”

“…Fuck.” You sigh, and Ellie cackles. “Were you planning this shit?” You ask and stand, walking over to the dresser where your bag sits. You grab it and hand it to her. She wastes no time, stubbing her joint out before rummaging through your shit, sifting through loose-leaf paper and markers used for coloring. You plop down onto her bed and she pulls out your sketchbook.

“Is it okay if I look?”

“I dunno,” You smirk, “Can I finally see your fucking portfolio?”

“Come home with me tomorrow,” she says instantaneously, “It’s there. You can see it.”

“… Then yes.”

She flips through pages and pages of visuals you’ve created before your father’s passing. They range from sloppily scribbled orchids, to immaculately shaded depictions of eggplant farms. Ellie giggles when she finds a small comic of Pickle playing with her favorite mouse toy.

“She still has it.”

“Good,” you whisper. You watch as she studies each page to her heart’s content, fingers dragging across lines that catch her attention. “You’re so good,” she says softly, awestruck and eyes sincere. Your gaze drops to your lap.

“Thanks,” you match her volume. She hums and flips to the next page. You eye the ashtray on her bed before snagging it, snatching her lighter and igniting the joint. Ellie eyes you like a hawk.

“I watched a tutorial on how to become a professional pothead… I think I got it down.”

“Show me.” She whispers and your stomach jolts.

Smoke leaves the lit end of the J and you flick the lighter off. You bring it to your lips and puff your cheeks full of smoke, inhaling as deep as you can before your lungs squeeze. You cough and heave tearfully and Ellie leans in to rub your back.

“That was better.” She says softly. “I was gonna dare you to hit it anyway.” Your coughing fits calm and you swallow.

“Shit,” You say. Ellie takes the joint from you and hits it like a fucking pro. She's much closer than she was seconds ago. You examine how her lips curl around the roach, cheeks expanding around carbon before inhaling, allowing the remainder to leave in a bunch of circles.

“You really blowing O’s right now?” You think you hit it right this time. The jitters you’ve had all day are beginning to dwindle.

She smiles mischievously, “Mhm.”

“Truth or dare?” You mumble.

“… Truth.”

“Did you think about me… after you left?” If you were to lean forward an inch, Ellie’s nose would touch yours. Nose hug. Her face spots are so adorable.

“Yeah. A lot.” She passes the J back to you and you accept it boldly. You’re releasing your stress with every exhale. Ellie was right; Smoking does feel good.

“What’d you think about?”

“Isn’t it my turn?”

“No.” You smile.

She shrugs, “I dunno. Just…” Her gaze falls onto her stuffed tabby cat.

“I feel like you’re boutta say something nasty.” You snicker.

“Wha — no! The fuck— “

You mock her, rubbing all over yourself, “I thought about your hands, ooo, aaa— “

Ellie smacks your arm a bunch of times before pushing you back onto the bed. You’re howling laughter over her whining, “Bitch, that’s you! Don’t think I forgot about that shit you pulled in the car!”

“You have nice hands! What can I say,” You slur with a dumb grin, “You have, like… classic lesbian hands. All you need is some Hot Topic rings and all the hoes gon’ flock to you.” You take one last toke before the lit end can reach your fingers, stubbing it on the ashtray.

Ellie seemingly ponders with the theory, “… Is that why a milf ate me out at the club?”

Your neck almost snaps when it cranes to look at her, “What the fuc— “

“Yeah. Craziest experience I ever had. Like, in my life.”

“Fuck, Ellie…” Your head flops back onto her Lightning McQueen blankets. “Was it good?”

“I… I guess. I came.”

You stare at the star stickers on her ceiling. “You guess?” She only hums.

“But…”

“Hm?” You urge her to continue.

“She didn’t… kiss me.” She whispers like it’s dirty to say out loud. You slowly blink at the opaque walls. “I mean, she did, but it wasn’t a real one.”

“Shame on her.”

Ellie maneuvers so she’s lying on her back beside you. “Yeah…”

“Ellie?”

“Hm?”

“Were you a virgin before I touched you?”

You expect her to slap the shit out of you again, but she doesn’t. She takes one deep breath before muttering, “Yes.”

You stop yourself from melting into her bed, turning on your side and propping yourself up on an elbow, gazing down at her. Her eyes are wide as saucers as she looks up at you. You can see her fingers twitching around her pillow, squeezing the fabric of the case. Right on Rigby’s nose.

“A-Are we still playing truth or dare?” She whispers, her breath hitting your face. She smells like oranges. You shake your head, tongue rolling over your lips. “No.” Your free hand lands on her hip and squeezes. Her jaw slacks around a gasp.

“… Oh.”

“Oh?” You want — need to kiss her so badly. Steal all the oxygen from her lungs so that she has no other choice but to breathe from you. Only you. Your vision is hazy with each travel over her face. She looks so soft, so pliant, so ready and prepared for you to take from her. Just like you hoped.

Your hand travels, pushing her sweatshirt up just above the waistline of her pants, fiddling with the knot right under her bellybutton.

You pull at the string until it loosens, “She gave you head?”

“T-The milf?”

“Yeah. The milf.” Aggravation seeps through your tone. Ellie’s hips twitch.

“… Yeah?” She coughs. You hum and hook your thumb under the band and inch them down. They aren’t even off all the way and you can tell she’s naked underneath.

“How good was it?”

“I don’t… know?”

“Yeah you do. How good was it?” You snip, and Ellie winces. “I-I squirted.” She trips over her words and your clit jumps. You don’t say anything, and she seems sad.

“… Are you mad at me?”

“No.” Your tone says otherwise. You’re not mad. You don’t know what you are. You don’t like what she’s telling you, though. Fuck milfs… You love them with your entire heart, but fuck them.

… Yeah. You’re high as shit.

You sit up and she moves to follow you, but you push her down and she goes limp under your touch.

“Don’t move. Just lay there.”

She pouts and you almost kiss it, “Don’t be mad.”

“I told you I’m not.” You swing a leg over her waist and she sighs dreamily. “How many times did you come.” You’re not asking; She’s going to tell you. You raise her sweatshirt up over her breasts.

“T-Two — Two.” She moves to throw her sweatshirt over her head but you snatch her wrists, pinning them right on the cushiony mattress. She doesn’t fight you.

“I want you quiet. Your dad’ll kill me if he hears you.”

Her eyes go glossy and twinkle, “Okay— “

“I mean it. Don’t say shit.”

“M’not gonna,” She whines before her mouth clamps shut. You give her overlapped wrists one last threatening squeeze, watching her fingers go lax before releasing her. You cup her tits and her eyes flutter shut, teeth sinking into her lower lip. You mouth at the valley between her tits and her back arches to follow each swipe of your tongue.

You kiss all over her ribcage, almost feeling each erratic thump of her heart under your tongue. She keens when your tongue flicks over the rising bud of her nipple, thighs squeezing around your hips. Your mouth latches onto the skin right above her areola, teeth sinking into it before sucking. Her hips raise and she’s breathing like she’s about to faint, and you grin like a fox.

You don’t let up until a wet maroon mark is left on her tit before swiftly switching to the next one, leaving a much harsher spot on the raised skin. An eager hand scratches down her torso until it brushes the patch of hair that peeks out from under her pants.

You shove your hand beneath the light cloth and your fingers are drenched in seconds. Your walls squeeze around nothing when you feel her clit jump in excitement. Her squishy lips spread around your middle and index fingers, her throbbing bundle of nerves cinched between them. She keeps making fucking noise and the walls seem to shake.

“What’d I say.”

“I — m’sorry, can’t h-help i— “

“Be quiet, Ellie.” Your fingers slip over her messy clit in slow, teasing circles. You release her skin until it’s blistering and bruised, quickening the pace of your fingers and she pulses in your hand. Your tongue swirls around her nipple once more, cheeks hollowing when you suckle.

Your eyes search for hers but her head is thrown back, neck strained and veins popping from beneath her skin. Your lips release the skin and your drippy hand leaves her pants. Your nipples harden under your tee when she reaches for your retreating form, fingers digging into your sweats.

Her pants are yanked down and tossed across the room, her toes curling in her rainbow-striped socks when your hands hook under her knees to push them up to her chest. Her arms entangle under her bent legs to hold them out of your way.

“I could fuck you right now with no problems.” You exhale in a daze, “S’fucking drippin’.” You envision how good her pussy will swallow whatever pops in, how easy it’ll stretch around something thick—

Ellie’s eyes shine like you offered her candy and her hole clamps down hard. You chuckle. “You want that?”

Her head bounces off the pillow in rushed nods. If your mouth wasn’t so fucking dry, you’d be slobbering all over her pussy. “Remember what I said?” You remind her, and she plants a heavy hand over her mouth. You kiss her ankle in appreciation.

Your fingers move on autopilot, massaging her clit a few more times before inching down, your index pushing past the tight, gripping muscles. Your finger’s swallowed whole in an instant and Ellie’s trying her hardest to mask her squeaks. “Fuck me,” you sigh when she takes another finger with no hassle, walls engulfing your digits in wetness. Her scent is surrounding you and it’s intoxicating.

“Missed you s’bad— “

“Missed you more, baby. Missed this pussy,” You’re pussydrunk and you’re slipping. That spot in her cunt becomes plumper with each press of your fingertips, “She fucked you better than me?”

Ellie’s denial is convincing, but that sick part of your brain doesn’t believe her. She loved being touched by someone, wanted by someone. Someone who wasn’t you, and you’re livid, “Nooo— “

You slice through her whine, “No?” Your smile is sadistic and your fingers are relentless, “You said her name like you said mine?” You grit and her eyes cycle into her skull, her hair sticking to her forehead. She’s trying to keep her voice down when she whispers how she only thought about you when she made a mess. She wanted you there, she says, she needed you there to take care of her.

“Y’fuck me s’good, fuck— “

Your eyes are dead, “I’ll hurt you. Be quiet.”

Fear flashes beneath her desire and she listens, keeping her sobs to a minimum. The sloppy, wet sounds of her pussy overtake the entire room the harder you fuck in, her nails tearing into her Pikachu stuffie on the corner of her bed. A string of drool dribbles from her bottom lip to her sweatshirt, her eyes glowing under the dimly lit lamp.

Her walls shake and throb on you, “Gonna cum, baby?” You grin manically at her dumbed-out expression, cheeks wet and eyes droopy. You coo at her and force in as deep as you can, curling your fingers up, fighting against the tight contractions of her walls.

“Make a mess on me, baby, I gotchu, c’mon— “

A long, drawn-out moan escapes Ellie’s lips, and you’re so hypnotized by the heavy spray of juices that lands on your thigh that you don’t even bother to shut her up. She’s drenching her sheets and blankets and you and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You’re fucking wave after wave out of her and she’s practically riding your hand, groaned curses and dazed squeaks of your name bouncing off the walls.

It feels like minutes pass when her orgasm slows, inner thighs drenched and dripping with slickness. Ellie’s entire body shakes and her thighs squeeze around your hand as she attempts to catch her breath, but you’re not done. You’re not satisfied. She didn’t give you enough.

You climb onto her and your lips connect in a simmering kiss, her wet mouth smacking against yours. Her cold hands land on either of your cheeks and your hips roll downward on hers. She whines into your mouth and tries to meet your hips but you force them back onto the mattress. She yanks at your shirt in attempts to rip it off but you don’t let up, lips slipping down to connect with her neck.

Your wrist twists downward until you're met with her sticky bush once more, spreading her lips apart and shoving your fingers back inside her. She chokes a wet gasp when they hit right where she needs, her arms wrapping around the back of your neck to hold you close. You’re babbling nonsense in her ear as you work her, telling her how she’s stuck with you, how you’re never leaving her side again, demanding that she says you're the best she’s ever had. And she does, and either you’re fucked out of your mind, or she means it.

You barely catch how your hips move like you're fucking her, driving into her as hard as you can and she takes it, stretches her legs wider so you can reach the spots she’s never been able to on her own. She’s saying your name like a prayer, like it’s all she’s ever known, and it’s breaking you down, only to build you back up so you can crash back into her. You missed her so fucking bad and you’re unleashing all of your feelings on her body and she eats all of it. How could you leave her when she fucking needs you this badly? You’ll never forgive yourself.

She’s warning you, crying about how you’re going to make her squirt again, begging you to slow down because she can’t take what you’re giving her, but you feel so good and you know she does, too. You can’t stop even if you want to. You want to drain her, live inside her for the rest of your days on Earth. You’re forcing space for you inside her.

Her nails dig into your shoulders as she cums. She’s unapologetically loud and it flows directly in your ear, and your own noises leave your mouth and land onto the clammy skin of her throat. The jets of fluid that leave her are stronger than the last, and you laugh. Laugh in ecstasy and joy and pleasure that you can’t even feel, but it’s there. Right in your chest.

You’re not done. You’ll never be done with her.

The night evaporates with you in between her legs, slurping every bit of cum and stress that you may have caused since knowing her from the source until the sun shines through her blinds, drinking from her like you’ll die without her taste on your tongue. She lets you do whatever you need to feel satiated, but it’ll never be enough now.

You’ll never be done with her.

Ellie’s naked form jolts awake when ticklish breaths hit her shoulder.

You’re beneath her, slumped, pantsless legs entangling hers and arms twisted every which way as you slobber and snore. A smile grows on Ellie’s face at your peaceful expression; She’s never slept that good in her own bed. She doesn’t want to wake you, but she has to pee so fucking badly.

She shifts in her position and instantly cringes at the soreness in her legs. Warmth coats the crests of her cheeks when she sees the discarded sheets and pillowcases that were changed only hours ago on the floor, head plopping onto your shoulder to hide in your neck. Your snoring gets cut by a guttural cough and Ellie laughs to herself when your snores pick up again.

She’s not a morning person in the slightest, so why the fuck is she so happy? Is this the post-sex glow that her friends always tell her about? Is she still considered a virgin if you only used your fingers and tongue? She doesn't feel like one… Sex rules are fucking dumb. She stops stressing before she ruins her morning.

The pangs in her bladder are getting on her nerves; She wants to cuddle. She sighs and shifts on top of you, trying her hardest not to disrupt your deep slumber. She manages to separate and clothe herself before waddling down the hall and into the bathroom, trying to ignore the aches in her thighs. You wrecked her shit… What the hell.

The second she leaves the bathroom, she smells coffee. Her dad’s up. She might vomit.

The two of you weren’t that loud. Definitely not. He couldn’t have heard. He didn’t hear! Ellie’s stealthy as she tiptoes through the hall… until the fucking floorboards croak from beneath her and she nearly faints.

“Come out, dipshit. I know it’s you.”

Her eyes squeeze shut and she curses to herself. She reluctantly appears from behind the wall, her dad sitting comfortably on the couch with a filled mug and newspaper, Pickle napping on his lap. He peeks from above his reading glasses.

“Think we needa talk.”

“… Fuck me.” She whispers before shamefully limping into the living room. She flops onto the couch and glues her eyes onto the decorative rugs under the coffee table.

“She seems nice.” Her dad sips his mug. Ellie’s face burns.

“She is.” She mumbles. You took such good care of her after last night. You got her in the shower, brushed her teeth for her when she was damn near sleepwalking, watched her down two bottles of water. Her heart flutters at how soft your eyes turned when you kissed her to sleep.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“… I dunno.” He hums and sips.

She doesn’t know. You’re not dating, but Ellie thinks you like her… She thinks. She likes you… a lot. She bites at her nails.

“You like her?” He asks lowly; She knows he knows.

“Yeah…” Ellie whispers, cheeks rising on their own. She covers her face when he smiles.

“Just… take your time.” Joel advises gently, “Did she tell you she’s in therapy?”

Ellie’s ears perk and her brows furrow, “No.” She sits up. Her dad’s gaze softens, “Wait til she brings it up, then. Y’all should talk before things get serious. It’s only been a couple days.”

Ellie knows her dad is right, but it’s hard to control herself when she’s around you. She naturally gravitates towards your aura; It’s comforting and she doesn’t want to lose it again.

A gentle clatter comes from her bedroom and she stands. You’re awake.

“I love you, kiddo,” Joel says, and she smiles softly. “Love you, too.”

She scurries down the hallway and enters her bedroom, seeing you sprawled out on the floor, all wrapped in sheets.

Your eyes are droopy when you croak, “Hello.” Ellie snickers.

“Hi. What happened.”

“I was reaching for, like… an orb in my dream and I guess I did it in real life,” Your voice gets so raspy in the morning, and it tickles her ears. Ellie can’t stop laughing. She helps you stand before kissing your cheek.

“Good morning,” she wraps her arms around your neck.

“M-Mornin’,” You squeak, eyes flitting around, “Uh… How'd you sleep?”

“Good.” She’s lost in your brown eyes. They’re warm like the sun. Why won’t you look at her?

She follows your line of vision down to your fiddling hands before whispering, “You okay?” You simply nod. Ellie’s heart stutters nervously.

“Do you still wanna come over later?”

“… Yeah.” Your attempts to disguise your stiffness fail. Ellie feels a lump forming in her throat when she detaches from you, and you search for the new pair of pants she gave you before you went to bed. Ellie watches silently, crestfallen. Something she did triggered your aloofness, so she turns to leave the room.

Her voice cracks, “I’m gonna… shower again— “

“Ellie.”

She turns, “Yes?”

Her fists clench when you walk until you’re standing in front of her, warm hand coming up to hold her cheek before kissing her. It’s soft and makes Ellie’s fingers thrum with excitement. It only lasts seconds before you pull away, and Ellie chases your mouth.

“I’d love to come over. I think we… should talk about some things.” You say quietly, and Ellie silently agrees. You let her go and she wants nothing but for you to pull her in once more, shrouded in your warmth.

You’re making her bed when Ellie leaves for the bathroom, body falling against the door to calm herself down. You’re not upset with her, and you want to come over… to talk, whatever that means.

The hot water burns her skin; She spends her entire shower thinking about how she can make you as happy as she feels.

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dilfl0v3rss · 10 months

Note

poly basketball player ony and aran

YES

having two very successful professional athletes as your boyfriends was a blessing and a curse. they were caring, smart, passionate about what they were doing, and gave you everything you could ever dream of having. there hasn’t been a day where you felt any less of the queen you already are and from the outside looking in, these men were calm and delicate when it came to you. always around to keep you safe and happy. you were as happy as can be with them, but every relationship has their issues. the main one in yours was their competitiveness.

“i won nigga get off the sticks and go wash the dishes” aran yelled, pointing to the kitchen where you were standing. you had told them an hour ago to wash the dishes and instead of just doing it, they decided to bet a game of 2k on it. the yelling and screaming coming from the living room irritated you so much that you washed them on your own to try to drown out the noise. as ony walked up to you, his tall figure already saw over your head that the dishes were done. a remorseful look on his face as he leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek. “my fault mama, thank you” you rolled your eyes, ignoring him before walking towards your room.

this was a constant thing in your house whether it be who dressed better, who was smarter, who should get the bigger plate during breakfast, and the most common, who loved you more.

“i love her so much, i bought her a plane when her flight got delayed” ony smirked as he talked, his big hands rubbing on your back as you laid your stomach on his thighs, the rest of your body laying on aran’s lap. his big hands rubbing all over you ass while he replied. “that ain’t nun nigga. i love her so much, i bought her a house in every state so she don’t ever gotta worry about sleeping in a hotel when my matches are far away” ony rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, giving him a “duhh” look before replying. “how you think she be getting to the houses nigga? she takes the plane….dumbass” aran looked away, an embarrassed look on his face as he thought about what ony just said.

“well my dick is bigger nigga, now what?” the dark skin male laughed, his hand leaving your back to cop a feel of aran's manhood. he gave him a knowing look. “be furreal nigga y'know my shit bigger. that was cute tho” you rolled your eyes, sighing loudly as you got up from the both of them. “ohh my goddd do y'all ever just shut up?” you spit before walking away to your room. before you reached the door a small smirk graced your features as you came up with an idea to help them get along. “both of y'all dicks is little so ion even know why y'all arguing furreal”your words brought a mix of confusion and anger to both of their faces before ony and aran turned to look towards each other. silently communicating there next actions before getting up and making their way towards you. “we gon see about that”

your boyfriends argued almost everyday, using there bantering as a way to show their love for each other. you knew they'd never downplay each others love for you for real, always in the others defense in the media when different blogs would try to put them against each other. they always saved their arguing for when they were in private or in the comfort of their home and when at home there was only one way to shut them up.

“mhmm i know ma” aran mumbled as he listened to your pretty whines. his big hands outstretched on your ass while you made out with ony. all three of you sat on your knees as aran fucked you from behind and you stroked ony's dick in front go you with your pretty hand, your other hand on ony's his shoulder to keep yourself from falling over. “how she feel baby?”he moaned as he felt your hand tighten around him. aran matched his boyfriends moan with one of his own. “good...fuck...real good da” his dick twitched inside of your wet walls as he watched his the darkskin male tightly grip your neck before giving you a sloppy kiss. ony's eyes never left aran's as he let his tongue slide in and out of your wet mouth.

aran knew was ony was doing, purposely teasing him to bring him closer to his orgasm, but he had just the thing for that. his big brown hands gripped your hips before he started deepening his strokes, his pace increasing to get you to moan into ony's mouth just the way he loved. "aauughh fuck papa m'finna cum" you whined, your hand slowing to a stop on ony's dick as you felt your orgasm approaching. before you knew it, there was a hard slap brought to your ass by aran, his thrusts never faltering as he spoke. “don't stop touching him mama, daddy gotta cum too” a smirk grew on ony's face at the interaction, his dick twitching in delight at your obedience when you brought your hand back to him.

you were enjoying every minute of this. letting the men you love take control over your body and bring you to some of the best orgasms you'll ever received. ony squeezed your neck, pulling you from your thoughts as he brought his lips to your ear. “throw that shit back mama, make em feel real good so he can fill you up. you want papa to fill you up right?” you quickly nodded your head, listening to his command instantly. the feeling of your ass meeting his thrusts made aran moan, his release getting closer and closer as he felt your arousal begin to drip to the sheets. your walls fluttered repeatedly as you felt your orgasm begin to rush through you. "m'cummin oh my god m'cumminnn" your pretty cry brought ony to his orgasm as well, his dick pushing out thick streams of cum that rolled down his tip and onto your hand.

aran began to deepen his thrusts, using your release as lubricant to move quicker inside you. “fuck mama ima give you all this nut, hold still f'me” you tried your best to listen, stilling you body from shaking in overstimulation as you felt all of his inches move in and out of you. as aran fucked you, you watched ony make his way to his side, letting you fall to the bed before giving aran a sloppy kiss on the lips. his hand rubbed up and down aran's chest just the way he liked as he continued to let his tongue dance inside his mouth. in no time he was cumming, his thick load shooting into you had he slowed his thrusts. “thank you da” aran sighed as he caught his breath. ony gave him another slow kiss on the lips, his hand still on his chest as he spoke. “of course baby”

as they brought their attention to you, they noticed that you were already asleep. chuckles flew from both of them as they got off the bed to clean up. “where you goin?” aran asked as he watched ony begin to carry your towards the bathroom. “we finna take a bath while you clean the sheets” the brownskin man sucked his teeth before walking towards your sleeping form in his boyfriends arms. “you took a bath wit her last time, you said you was gon take a shower wit me this time after we bathe her together” ony rolled his eyes, before turning back around to go in the bathroom. “that was before you made me wash your dishes nigga” aran opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by your sleepy, annoyed voice. "if y'all don't shut up y'all gon be together on the couch" the two men looked at each other, silently communicating that they did't want to have to share a couch between their big tall bodies.

“my fault ma”

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

Note

AITA for venting to my friend about my fiancée?

I (24M) have been with my fiancée (26NB) for about 3 years now. I try to avoid venting to my friends about it when I’m having little relationship annoyances because I used to do that for a while and it ended up with them just getting a horrible image of her because when good things happen that make me happy I would be responding IRL with my fiancée or gushing about it publicly e.g. on Twitter which most of my friends don’t use, vs when bad things happened I’d go to them to vent directly so they were only seeing the shitty moments. They would just always tell me she sucked or to break up with her which just wore on me because I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t think I need to. Our relationship is super affectionate, has helped me massively in improving mentally and socially and in my confidence, makes me genuinely happy, and is for the most part, with certain problems we’ve been working on aside, healthy.

It’s not a communication issue or anything, I’ll address any issues with my fiancée directly as well and we’ll resolve it between us, just sometimes I’d feel the need to vent out my upset first while calming down or talking through what to say to her before I brought it up etc.

However this changed recently. my fiancée has always been a very physical person, she’s cuddly and loves kisses and just general touching, and that also translates into her playfully hitting me a lot, which I’ll do as well. Smacking each other on the ass when we pass each other, jokingly hitting each other’s arms (gently) when we’re making fun of each other, stuff like that. Very occasionally this will bother me (the other day she pinched my face hard enough that it hurt for like 20mins afterwards) but for the most part I genuinely could not care less and I take it as all in good fun.

She has never hit me in anger before, until today. She was playing a video game and died, and I laughed while sitting next to her when I saw it, and she just turned around and hit me full force. Like, harder than she’s ever hit before, and causing genuine pain. Usually I would just brush it off because like I said she hits me in a joking way a lot, but when I kind of gave a startled “ow” she just looked at me and hissed “Don’t laugh” through her teeth and she looked genuinely pissed off, and the force behind the hit just caught me completely off guard. It was also very very sudden because we’d been talking normally and light-heartedly, had even been cuddling a few minutes before, and although she was pretty clearly exasperated at the game (sighing, saying “oh my god” when the fight was going downhill) I didn’t think it was serious anger, so her abruptly whipping around and hitting me like that was so sudden and whiplashy I didn’t even have time to register it.

I have PTSD (C-PTSD? don’t remember what the specific diagnosis was) from my last relationship which was abusive in pretty much every way you can think of, and one of my biggest triggers that has been relevant in this relationship as a result of it is raised voices/anger around me (not necessarily At me, just like when my fiancée is getting frustrated or stressed and she’ll start hitting her keyboard or shouting and it’ll make me start panicking), but this is the first time I’ve had to confront being triggered by a physical violence thing. I started dissociating like hell so I left the room when she was distracted by the game and ended up slipping out of the house to call one of my best friends via Discord and lowkey cry about it

I genuinely don’t really remember what I said, the gist was just that I’d been triggered by my fiancée hitting me in anger and that I needed to calm down before I went back. This may have been a dick move because this friend is a mutual friend of me and my fiancée - I knew her first and am closer to her, but she recently met my fiancée in person for the first time and they seemed to get along well, and we’re in several servers and stuff together.

After I was done I went back in and my fiancée apologised for hitting me so hard. I said thank you and we moved on

But afterwards she confronted me because my friend had sent me a message after that basically just checking in on me and my fiancée had seen the message on my laptop that she was using to game. I usually have my Discord on Do Not Disturb when she’s using my computer just so she’s not bothered by notifications beeping at her constantly so I’m not sure if it wasn’t on for some reason and it popped up on-screen or if she minimised the game and saw it somehow, but she was incredibly upset with me because she said I’d made her out to sound physically abusive. I did explain that I’d made clear to the friend she’d never seriously hit before this, but she said that didn’t matter because it was still giving off that impression and that it was unfair because her hitting me was done in a moment of frustration/anger and I shouldn’t have laughed at the game.

I apologised and we dropped it but I do notice that since then she’s been on my computer/phone more often and she’s slid into a few of my friends’ (and I mean My friends, not ones she talks to or knows and not ones I’d said anything about this to) asking if I’ve ever spoken about her and if she can give her side of the story. My friends came straight to me about it because they felt uncomfortable with what they saw as being prompted to talk about me behind my back.

Reasons I don’t think I’m TA: She hit me, and I know she vents about me to her friends too, and although it does bother me that her friends don’t like me because of it (for I assume much the same reason some of mine don’t like her for, AKA only hearing about negative stuff) I’ve always maintained she has the right to do it. I think everyone should be able to vent to friends about partners or family and vice versa in private because venting is normal and as long as it’s not dishonest or just pure shit-talking them I think it can be helpful and even healthy.

Reasons I think I might be TA: I went to a mutual friend so she also has something to lose if this friend forms a negative opinion of her, I laughed at her dying in the game even though I know she gets incredibly frustrated and competitive in games, and I’ve never had an issue with her hitting me more playfully before so she may have just misjudged how hard it was.

So AITA for telling my friend my fiancée hit me / getting so upset about it or is it just PTSD acting up and making me overdramatise something that is basically on the same level as the joke hitting?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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quinnsadilla · 3 months

Text

fluff alphabet |clarisse la rue

author's note: Hi lovelies, please send me requests! I don't know what gave me the confidence to think I can write, probably delusion. Also, this is according to my personal views of Clarisse so don't be mad if it's different from what you've imagined. Leave a comment, I love interacting with people, xx.

warnings: I tried my best to keep it gender/race/cabin neutral for the most part but there are still some feminine coded things here and there. English is not my first language so excuse any grammar mistakes.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Starting off strong because with Clarisse sparring is a must. Although she doesn't like to think there will ever come a time in which she won't be there to protect you, it's still an essential part of life as a half-blood. And who better to train you than the daughter of war herself? And in case the apprentice becomes the master and you happen to beat her or pin her to the ground or even hold your dagger to her neck? Oh boy, she's done for. Actual heart eyes.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She pretty much loves everything about you, she can't really just choose one aspect. Though, if she had to, she'd probably say she loves you for being supportive, understanding, and patient with her. You understand her better than anyone. That's what made her know you were the one for her. You can control her anger issues and calm her down when she's on the verge of exploding and she thinks that's beautiful.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc?

The art of intimacy or comfort never came easy to Clarisse. Her relationship with her mother isn't the best and hasn't been for a while now and her father is a grade A asshole. Her first instinct when you're feeling down is to fix it, to ask you who or what happened and give them a physical piece of her mind, but that's not always how it works. She'll pull you to her lap and hold you through the night or for as long as you need, wiping your tears and kissing your cheeks. She'll let you vent your heart out. You can tell her anything. Or nothing, if you prefer. She's not the best with words but her actions speak much louder.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

She's never thought that much ahead if she's being honest. Never allowed herself to daydream too much into the future, choosing to live off the present for now. Sometimes, however, she pictures what could be only described as an utopia; to go on such a fantastical quest that the gods can't help but grant the both of you immortality, that way you'd bask in the glory of your love forever and ever.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

On the outside looking in it would seem Clarisse is the dominant one for sure. And in some ways she is; she likes that you can rely on her, she wants to provide for you, yearns to prove herself capable of such. Still, you're the one in charge. Clarisse is completely devoted to you, and your relationship means more to her than anything she's ever felt before. She cherishes it like no other, always at your beck and call.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Clarisse is intense, that much we know. Her anger runs deep and her passion burns red. She's not perfect, and doesn't try to hide it either. She's hot-tempered, arrogant, she's got a short fuse and she holds grudges. Her fatal flaw is pride, which sometimes gets in the way of her good senses, so you'll most likely be the one apologizing first. Despite all that, she can't bear the thought of you being mad at her and absolutely hates fighting with you. It's like it's tearing her apart, especially if you're sad over something she said or did in the heat of the moment. Truth is, she is a fighter at heart so when all is said and done she'll try and make it up to you in some way, somehow.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

She is so appreciative of everything you do and are. As previously stated, Clarisse didn't get much love growing up so any semblance of that is something she clings hard to. She notices everything, every little thing you do for her and the underlying of your words. How you treat her and others is always stored in the back of her mind and she loves to be loved by you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Clarisse is a very closed off person in general, she doesn't like feeling exposed and being possibly seen as weak. She'll tell you things but there's still some matters you have to pick up on your own and know how to approach them, especially regarding her feelings and personal struggles. She's very honest though, she feels like she owns you that much and appreciates you if you do the same for her. The more your relationship progresses you'll notice being able to read her like an open book because although she does her very best to hide it there's an underlying vulnerability to her behavior in certain moments you'll take proper notice of the more you know her.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Clarisse has definitely become more gentle since you. It still doesn't extend to your friends and family but more so how she behaves around you and knowing she doesn't have to put up that though front all the time. Her sense of self worth has improved as well, especially when you reassure her through her insecurities and doubts (never being the son her father wanted etc.)

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Oh, boy. Clarisse’s jealousy is very fuelled by… Well, anything really. She doesn't necessarily need a motive to go toe to toe with someone, just staring at you for a second longer than she deems them worthy of and she's ready for a fight. It's hard for anyone to get close enough to flirt with you because she's always there, by your side, kind of like a guard dog. But only because she knows how amazing you are and her insecurities do blurry some lines on what's acceptable. She's working on it though.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Clarisse is definitely a good kisser. She doesn't have much experience, if any, but she's a natural. It sounds cheesy but the first time she kisses you was like butterflies and church bells dancing loudly in the wind. The way she cups your face so uncharacteristically soft and how she breaks off the kiss with a series of small pecks only to smile one of her beautiful smiles so close to each other's faces… Magical. It could be at the fireworks on the fourth of July or it could be in your favorite spot in the woods, soaked in lake water during a midnight swim or after a heated argument. No matter how many times Clarisse kisses you, she'll never not feel electricity similar to her spear’s sharp edge digging into her body and soul.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Clarisse does not have a clue what she's doing. I feel like she'd say something in the heat of the moment; either confessing her true feelings or masking them by saying something hurtful she doesn't actually mean. In the latter scenario she'd storm off and berate herself over it but her pride and fear that you'd never look at her again made her put off her apology for some time and let it all sink in to talk to you when she's ready. That is until you start properly ignoring her and she nearly goes crazy with longing, just missing your overall presence and having her stomach turn to knots at the way things were left between you two. That's one of the few times Clarisse sucks it up and reaches for you. The apology is awkward but overwhelmingly honest and she tells you she's an idiot but you're content in forgiving her and giving her a second (actual first) chance.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Again, Clarisse never thought she'd live to see the day she'd actually have a marriage prospect. Her life just doesn't seem complete without you anymore and the moment she realizes that she's done for. It would probably be while you're laying in bed together, your head on her chest while you play with her fingers. Your eyes are heavy with sleep but hers are wide open, thinking. “Will you marry me?” said while staring into the distance and you probably think she's joking except Clarisse is not one to joke about that sort of thing. “Not now. But eventually.” and whether you ask if she's serious or just accept it right away, she'd look at you seriously for a beat and then tackle you into a bear hug, crushing you underneath her. She doesn't see the point in a big wedding, but if that's what you're into, she won't mind.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

She is not immune to babe or baby but would still like to keep some variety. Things like sunshine, gorgeous, angel or others (I'm looking at you, person who created the “mama/s” HC). She does like your name very much, or probably a shortened version of it. Don't expect her to not tease you if any of these make you flustered.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Clarisse likes to think she's good at hiding it when she's absolutely not. As Taylor Swift once said, you can hear it in the silence. Just the way her eyes soften when she's looking at you speaks millions, but people also get whiplash at how fast her mean attitude changes whenever you're around. Her love giving languages are probably acts of service and physical touch. She loves to do things for you, feeling all big and mighty whenever she can make your life just a little easier. Touching is also a must but we'll get to that in a second.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Clarisse is not very comfortable with public displays of affection, because she is afraid of being judged or mocked by others for being weak or soft. She prefers to keep her relationship with you private and intimate, but doesn't mind the little things. She does gloat about being with you as well as showing you off, so that everyone on camp knows you're hers. She brags about you all the time and I mean, seriously, all the time. She's not a big hand holder but she almost over compensates by grabbing at your hips and thighs, throwing an arm over your shoulder or hiding her face in your neck. She especially loves bonfires when you sit on her lap and she can hold firmly onto your waist while she's talking to her siblings or just press her forehead against yours when her social battery is low.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

She's very perceptive. She may not know what has changed right away but she's also persistent so she'll figure it out in an instant. If it's the way you did your hair or something that happened along your day, even if you change your usual greeting. She notices and she'll definitely ask you about it.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Clarisse wants to be loved, that's all she’s ever wanted, and she has so much love to give, therefore I believe she'll do just about anything to make you happy. That includes being an absolute sap. She honestly doesn't mind how cliche it is, if it works on you, you bet she's using it. If anyone cares to say anything remotely negative about you or your relationship she will promptly glare them into oblivion or give them something to really worry about.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

She is your absolute biggest supporter. Especially if you don't believe in yourself, then she's trying even harder for you to see just how well you can do something if you put your mind to it. With something like sword training she is more than willing to help you, rewarding you with kisses and cursing you for distracting her with your pretty face.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Clarisse doesn't mind change, she rolls with it. If you have a certain way of doing things, a routine you like to follow, that's fine by her. If you're unpredictable, even better. She just loves to see what comes next in terms of your relationship, not necessarily needing anything to amplify her love for you. It's already hardwired into her.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She knows you like the back of her hand. Even the slightest furrow of your eyebrows or tilt of your head and she'll be there in a second asking what's wrong. She does learn to be more empathetic towards your own struggles, which was hard at first because she wasn't sure how to see things from someone else's point of view. Though road but you make it work.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

She doesn't have much to look forward to so Clarisse values her relationship with you very highly, as you are one of the few people who can see past her tough and aggressive exterior and appreciate her softer and more vulnerable side. She is fiercely loyal and protective of you, and would do anything to keep you safe and happy.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I actually read this one on a Wattpad story a while ago so credit to the original creator but, Clarisse has a teddy bear named Mr. Muscles she's had since she was like, nine and she cherishes it like it's her most prized possession. When she introduced this piece of information to you, you just found her so incredibly adorable you couldn't contain the giggles and she gets so hot in the face she pushes you off her bed and it's honestly one of the most memorable moments in your relationship.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I headcanon Clarisse as your personal furnace as well as a koala bear so kisses and cuddles are a must, especially if it's cold outside. She loves to take naps with you, it gets to the point where she has trouble sleeping without you (so you give her a vial of your perfume to spray on Mr. Muscles for when you're away).

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Clarisse with you: 🥰

Clarisse without you: 😡

She gets snappier than usual and easily annoyed but she'll also get really sad because she's never had to deal with being away from you. Her siblings try to cheer her up by shoving some kid's head into the toilet but she's so disinterested in anything that does not involve you she just goes about her days training until she can see you again and show off her muscles.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

The answer is yes, one hundred percent. “Touch her and you die” trope goes so hard. Not only that but she would willingly sacrifice the world and herself for you and your relationship. She would go out of her way to make sure you are okay, that you are fed and hydrated and well rested, even messing up her own sleeping schedule in order to take better care of you.

#* ༄ ꒰ effy's works ꒱#clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue fluff #clarisse pjo #clarisse x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo

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brodieland · 2 months

Text

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 Can we finally call a Truce? ´ˎ˗

Percy Jackson x Fem!Hades!Reader Synopsis: After the years of hating each other (secretly pining), you're finally together !! Now how does your dad take the news..? Warning(s): some swearing Word Count: 2342

╰➤ MASTERLIST pt5

2 weeks later

[11:39] AM

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝜗𝜚

＠seaweedbrain • 10 min

Liked by Styxgirl and more.. ＠seaweedbrain: embarrassing the way me and my girl eat all y'all up🤦🤦 View comments..

＠StyxGirl: ughh who is that girl and why is she so finee😭 →＠seaweedbrain: ＠StyxGirl she not allat fr (im horrendously down bad) →＠deathboynico: ＠seaweedbrain take it to the dms😬👋 →＠seaweedbrain: ＠deathboynicoo I will spam about my gf as much as I dam well pls !!

＠wisegirl: we did itt🙄 ＠BeaurengardOnTop →＠BeaurengardOnTop: ＠wisegirl only took like five years brooo 😭👋 →＠seaweedbrain: ＠BeaurengardOnTop better late than neva‼️ →＠StyxGirl: ＠BeaurengardOnTop mb im a little stubborn😛 →＠seaweednbrain: ＠StyxGirl make up for it by coming over !

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝜗𝜚

And there you were, on your way to meet up with your boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend. Percy Jackson was now your boyfriend. When you told your beloved friends Silena and Annabeth, they weren't as shocked about it as you thought they would be.

"Finally."

"It's not like we weren't expecting it."

Maybe at least pretend. Let's all hold hands in a circle and jump up and down and chant of happiness. Okay maybe that's too much, you had just thought that after all the screaming at you to get it together, they'd have more of a reaction for when you finally got it together. Whatever, moving on. Finally you made it to Percy's, aw he left the door open this time. Now what if you just scared him a little.

You slowly walked through the door to be sure not to make any noise. After you did that you tip-toed your way to his room and ran through the door, the loud sound of it combined with your screaming scared the shit out of him.

He threw his phone in the air and sat there like the soul left his body. "Did I scare you?"

"I think I saw the stars" you started laughing at Percy as you walked toward him. "No like never do that again please."

"Hey," you sat on your legs in front of him on his bed. "No promises" you smiled as you leaned forward and kissed him, which he happily did back. You pushed back into him, laying down on top of him. After a few minutes your phone started ringing from your back pocket. You went to reach for it when Percy grabbed your hand.

"Come on just ignore it" and went back to kissing you. You ignored the phone till it stopped ringing. You went and continued on with what you were previously doing, at least that's what you wanted to do. Right after it stopped ringing it started again. You leaned up from Percy and let out an exasperated and dramatic sigh as you got up and answered the phone.

"Hello" you said harshly.

"Sorry to interrupted you" Nico said. "Jeez."

"Nico did you need something" you said trying to get him to talk quickly.

"Did you forget what day it is" Nico asked.

"Enough with your little riddles what is it?" SPIT IT OUT.

"Its parents day" Nico stated.

"So what, our moms are dead, who cares." Percy almost laughed at your bluntness but he didn't know if it was the time for that.

"Not those parents, godly parents. Dads here." You almost dropped the phone out your hand when he said that.

"Dads there" you asked, voice sounding a little high-pitched.

"Yup, so you might wanna hurry up. Bye." Shit. See the thing is, you weren't necessarily scared of your dad. Maybe a little, he has anger issues. Despite him being Hades, him being your father made him less scary, but you guys still weren't the closest. The only problem is Percy, your boyfriend, and guy you are currently sitting on. He has a hatred for Percy one would not understand and you don't want to know how he would react to him now dating his daughter.

"My dad's here" you said once more. You looked down at Percy who looked a little nervous. "Why are you suddenly nervous about Hades' presence?"

"Because he hates me and I'm sleeping with his daughter."

"Haha. Well, I gotta run, literally. Bye" you said as you quickly pecked him and ran back to your dorms. Not even noticing Poseidon chillin the couch relaxing, and knowing of your presence. It only took 6 minutes to make it back home, that may have been record time. You summed through the door and opened it to see your dad and Nico sitting on opposite sides of each other in the living room.

Nico and your father never had the greatest relationship and it really showed. Ever since his his real sister Bianca died, their relationship was strained. You wondered if she never passed, would your father had liked him more? All you knew was that it was better for everyone if you were around, less awkward. Kind of.

"Hey guys" you said as you slide in the seat next to Nico. He looked kind of nervous, expected when your sitting in front of the god of death, even if he is your father.

"Hello Y/N, me and Nico were just.. talking." It was silent when you walked in.

"Really? About what?" You played into it. You turned and saw Nico suppressing a small smile.

"you know, the usual" Nico said. Code for nothing by the way. You wanted to laugh a little but you didn't let that show.

"I didn't realize my kids were little jokesters" Hades said seriously. "Y/N, did you forget the date today?"

"Um, no" you lied.

"Then why is it you weren't here. What was more important that seeing your father? Hmm?" Your father questioned you. It felt like he knew, but its not like you or anyone you know would've told him. They know his feelings about Percy. And there's actually no way Hades uses instagram. As you were in thought, you may or may not have been quiet a little too long.

"Did you know Aphrodite hasn't shut up about this little love show of hers? Do you know how it felt to find out she was speaking of my daughter and Percy Jackson of all people? And the pictures online on that weird app she showed me? Despicable." Your father rambled while shaking his head. You turned to Nico in shock while you watch him try not to laugh at your possible despair.

"Um, surprise? I guess.." you said unenthusiastically and nervous.

"I'd kill that boy, but it'd be a whole thing with my brother. I'm not in the mood for that family drama." Hades rolled his eyes while speaking. "You have a rather ill choice with men in my opinion. You must hope I don't have a run-in with that boy. And lastly, if he even dares step foot in my realm once more, just remember I don't care if he's your.. boyfriend." He didn't elaborate on what would happen if Percy stepped foot in the underworld again, he didn't need to say another word for you to get the picture of what would happen to him. You were sure he didn't even want to go back in the first place. Unless maybe his mom got kidnapped again, but you know, fat chance.

"Yeah.. gotcha." You said simply. That actually went easier than you thought it would.

"Always, nice to see you both, but I must head out" Hades said as he stood up from his seat.

"Bye dad" you and Nico said at the same time. You both sat in silence as you watched your father walk out the room and disappear back to the underworld. You let out a sigh as you lifted your feet on the couch and leaned over on Nico's shoulder. He leaned his head on yours.

"Next time I'll remember the date and not leave you too alone again, I know its awkward" you said.

"At least he was just focused on you" Nico sighed.

"Yeah, blame Aphrodite for that I guess." You sat up. "And why didn't you get grilled about Will" you said jokingly annoyed.

"Well for starters, maybe because Will isn't like, his mortal enemy." Oh okay.

"Alright bro, no need to get snappy with me."

"Sorry Y/N, just stating facts here" Nico shrugged. "Anyways I was in fact planning to hangout with Will so.." Aww, wait..

"Are you kicking me out again?"

"Sorry, he has to many siblings" Nico said.

"Whatever, I was gonna head back to hang out with Percy anyways" you said as you got up headed it out. Nico shouted a bye from the couch and you shouted it back as you shut the door and made your way to Percy's.

Finally your back. You are currently standing at the door pounding on it like there's no tomorrow. Fifteen seconds later Percy opened the door looking at you wide-eyed.

"How'd it go with your dad" he asked quickly making you laugh. He moved to the side letting you in.

"Oh it went fine, just make sure to stay out of his way and the underworld or, you know" you said knowing you didn't need to continue speaking.

"Sounds just like my brother" you stopped in your tracks. Poseidon, Percy's dad, is currently sitting on the couch.

"Oh, um... hello." You said. Percy chuckled at your awkwardness.

"Don't worry, just cause your dad would like to blast me to bits doesn't mean my dad feels the same about you." you rolled your eyes as Percy said this. Poseidon just laughed at the two.

"I would've said hello to you earlier but you were running out quite fast" what was he.. oh.

"Oh, you were here?" You were just thinking about what if Nico never called you getting to to go home. Now THAT would've been more awkward than having a conversation with your own dad. And for the record, its very awkward.

"Yes I was. Aphrodite would've had a field day" Poseidon joked. You and Percy got a little warm in the face. "Anyways I must be off now, things to do and kingdoms to run, you know how it is." Poseidon walked up to Percy to hug him, he pulled away and ruffled his hair before walking out the door.

"I wish Hades was friendlier like Poseidon."

"Me too."

"Wanna have a movie night" you asked.

"Oh my gods let's go. I'll go make popcorn" Percy said excitedly.

"We're having a Harry Potter movie marathon" you stated as you went to get the first movie ready.

"Yo low-key I could take him in a fight. He's not all that." Percy said as the microwaved beeped letting us know that the popcorn finished.

"That's really interesting Percy"

"You know I could why are you the way you are" Percy was sitting down next to you on the couch, moving close under the blanket.

"You mean why am I so amazing and cool and sexy and hot" you joked.

"I think we should just click play"

You guys stopped paying attention after the first movie.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝜗𝜚

＠StyxGirl • 5 min

Liked by deathboynicoo and others... ＠StyxGirl: someone tell me why Aphrodite is showing my dad my instagram💀💀 ＠seaweedbrain View comments...

＠BeaurengardOnTop: bc we knew Hades was on instagram💀 →＠seaweedbrain: ＠BeaurengardOnTop are you trying to get me killed?? →＠BeaurengardOnTop: ＠seaweedbrain perchance. →＠wisegirl: ＠BeaurengardOnTop YOU CANT JUST SAY PERCHANCE??

＠deathboynicoo: she almost got ur boyfriend killed🤦 →＠StyxGirl: ＠deathboynicoo ur boyfriend could be next if u don't watch out🤷‍♀️

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝜗𝜚

[10:35] AM

When you woke up you were now alone on the couch. You sat up and looked around for Percy when you smelled waffles. The delicious smell gravitated you toward the kitchen.

"Good morning" you greeted Percy. You walked over behind him while he stood at the stove as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Good morning sleepyhead" Percy said. You kissed him on his back and jumped on the counter next to the stove.

"What a gentleman, cooking me breakfast." He looked at you confused, making you confused. "What?"

"What makes you think this is for you, I was the hungry one who took initiative" he looked at you like it was obvious.

"You're saying" you swung your arms around "all of this food is for you? You dam near big as hell you know that?"

"Oh I've heard" he winked. You just looked up at the ceiling and sighed, wondering how you got yourself here. "I'm just messing with you, obviously this is for the both of us."

"Thank gods, I was so hungry I wasn't even going to mention the blue waffles." you said as you just picked one up and stuffed it in your mouth.

"Okay, last time I checked we weren't barbarians. Grab a plate" Percy said.

"Ugh what are you my dad" you joked.

"Erm no. I think your dad would actually start a war if he heard you were comparing us" you both just started laughing. After you composed yourself you went and grabbed a plate for your waffle, you proceeded to drown it in syrup, earning a glare from Percy.

"Hey Y/N, don't freak out when I say this but I think there's a waffle hiding in your syrup."

"Oh my god thanks for telling me, I had no idea" you said sarcastically. "Gods forbid I eat the way I like."

"Your allowed to do what you want as long as its not.. never mind. I just forget your so.. special" he paused before he said special, clearly not calling you special the way you would've like. These men.

"Sorry you don't enjoy cuisine the way I do" You rolled eyes as Percy finished getting food and you both sat at the kitchen island to eat. The waffles were really good and didn't need all that syrup by the way. You just liked bothering Percy. You also just liked Percy himself but you didn't need to inflate his ego more (ur dating its okay to say you like him).

..............................................................................................................................

No clue if there's going to be a pt.6, but if have ideas for it lmk🫡

Taglist: @damdemigodishness @katiepotatie @loony-loser @mxtokko <3

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson pjo #percy pjo #percy series #percy jackson fluff #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x you

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cannellee · 4 months

Note

HIII cannellee!! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) it’s 🍓 again!! i have another super cute abo idea, could we have the tr boys with a very clumsy but cute omega who has bruises all over her legs from bumping into objects because she keeps running into things like chairs or low tables… maybe how they react seeing injuries for the first time? or how they try to “steer her away from danger”? ty for reading, i hope you have a amazing christmas!!!!!! ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆

alpha! tokyo rev x omega! reader

— their reactions to a cute and clumsy s/o (pairing : mikey, mitsuya, kazutora, chifuyu, izana, kaukucho, angry, baji)

my masterlist : ☆

I reaaally love this, it's so cute! I hope I did a good job, but I'm not really proud of this one sorry. I hope you had a great Christmas too thanks<3

ALPHA! MIKEY

upon noticing your bruises and bumps all over you, mikey gets immediately concerned and harbours a deep frown when he asks you about it.

his alpha instincts command him to make sure you're well and assess the situation to know what's wrong.

when you admit it's because of how clumsy you are, he's relieved it isn't anything more serious and finds it even endearing.

of course, his protective nature doesn't take long to kick in and he's paying even more attention to your surroundings.

rather than being upset about your lack of care, he's understanding and gently inquires why that is, so he can identify the issue behind your clumsiness.

now, when you're together, he offers you his support. whenever you fall and if he hasn't prevented that before, he'll be quick to help you up on your feet, pat your head to assure you it's okay and check your knees to look for any new bruises.

he'll tease you about it, but just to lighten up the mood and show you that he doesn't view your clumsiness as a source of frustration. it is made to make you feel comfortable around him.

ALPHA! MITSUYA

mitsuya is very observing, so he did noticed your tendency to fall and trip early on.

he won't mention it to you though, he'll provide a silent support and watch you carefully.

he'll offer to do certain tasks if he thinks it might harm you. if you need to reach something which is put high in a cupboard, he grabs you by the waist before you even finish climbing and gets it for you.

he tells you to rely on him, he's your alpha and he wants you to trust him and let him act like your partner.

when you're taking a walk, he takes your hand and gently guides you, replacing you so that you don't step into a bump on the road for example.

he does everything so that you don't have to injure yourself, but if it was to happen, his reaction is quick. he'll profusely scent you to prevent any stress or anxiety troubling you and will patch you up.

you'll end up cuddling with him inside your nest!

ALPHA! KAZUTORA

now kazutora is really worried.

what do you mean his omega is getting injured on a daily basis ?

when he first saw your bruised legs during summer, he felt an immense amount of anger.

kazutora is the type to act on impulse and in his head, those were the result of some bad people with malicious intentions towards his sweet omega.

he was furious and checked for more injuries, it was a hard task to calm him down and you thought it wouldn't be possible unless you gave him a couple of innocent names (that had nothing to do with the situation, he was just so sure you were a victim of crazy alphas).

luckily, upon smelling your calm pheromones, he figured you didn't lie to him out of fear and he eventually let his guard down.

now he's even more vigilant. it actually hurts him to know you're this clumsy and it troubles his mind.

he's the type to kiss your bruises though, and act overly reassuring and protective even when you don't actually need it.

ALPHA! CHIFUYU

although stressed at first, chifuyu is quick to approach the situation with a calming demeanor.

he's soo gentle with you, he'll rush to you each time you hurt yourself and shower you with his reassuring pheromones while making sure the cut on your finger isn't too deep.

if the fall was hard he asks you if you're okay, eyes full of care, telling you soothing words to drive away any distress.

chifuyu's touch is tender and he'll softly remind to be more careful whenever he's not here because he can't assist you.

he'll try his best to create a safe space for you : his omega can't get hurt if she's under chifuyu's watchful care!

if it was really serious, he will crack a joke to lighten up your mood and distract you from the pain.

he will offer you a comfortable place to sit afterwards ; if you're out, he's bringing you snacks from the shop next to you and if it was at your place, he's tucking you inside your nest. all the smells make you instantly relax!

ALPHA! ANGRY

angry is concerned.

once he learns you're this prone to injure yourself, it's over for you.

he was already worried sick about you going outside alone, as an omega you're often a target for other alphas and people who might know you're affiliated to him.

but now? now that he knows you don't even need to go outside to be at harm's length, he's constantly trying to check up on you.

now your dates consist of you both staying at your place, watching a movie inside your nest, cuddling and playing games, overall very calming activities.

angry might overdo it, but you need to understand that his instincts are shaking now knowing his omega is jeopardizing herself.

he carries band aids everywhere with him too.

ALPHA! KAKUCHO

he is prepared and reliable.

yes, you can hurt yourself alone, it happens, but it never does in his presence.

he's careful, even if he looks focused on something else, and will prevent anything from happening to you, from the tiniest cut to the most absurd fall.

if your clumsiness appears because of stress, you can be sure his scent is always enveloping you.

he tenderly kisses your forehead and praises you whenever you successfully stop yourself from falling.

he slowly kisses your bruises and healed scars with sweet patience, you absolutely love his kind nature.

you sometimes feel guilty for the way he seems genuinely upset and apologises for not being able to look after you better.

you tell him it's okay but he feels a sense of responsibility for his omega's wellbeing. he's committed and as your alpha he has to shield you from anything hurtful.

ALPHA! IZANA

he's devoted. he offers you his entire support and will do anything to keep you far from harm, even if you're the one bringing it to you.

he doesn't get mad nor annoyed, he just wants to make sure it won't happen again.

if you thought you weren't protected enough by him, expect an even more on edge izana. you're so important for him, he can't help the creeping worry he's feeling.

he now ensures that his physical presence is a constant source of protection. whether it's standing close or wrapping an arm around your waist, he establishes a boundary to both claim you and reassure you. it keeps you steady and he's there if you ever were to trip.

izana wants to have control over the situation and does his best to react accordingly to ensure your safety.

but he's still gentle and have a careful touch despite his alpha assertiveness.

if he didn't know you often bumped into furniture, you better tell him fast because he won't calm down as easily as kazutora.

izana won't believe you at first, and will definitely not tolerate anybody touching his precious omega. that's why he's a menace.

he tends to be overprotective, doing his job as your alpha a bit too well and literally preventing you to live normally.

he calls you regularly and checks for any new bruises everytime you meet up, he made you swear you would be more careful!

ALPHA! BAJI

the first time he noticed your bruises, his face was livid while he lifted your arm into his gentle hands.

he's terrifyingly calm and you know it would only take a name before he completely lashes out.

luckily he's a very great listener and really attentive. once you tell him about how you hit your elbow in a door, he gets reminded of all the times you tripped and easily connects the dots.

you're a very clumsy omega and you trigger his instincts like never before.

he softly nags you, praying you to be more careful while also being completely clueless as to why you're so uncoordinated with your movements.

why do you have to drop everything? and the most dangerous things at that?

you give him literal heart attacks.

but he'll joke about it so you never feel bad about that part of yourself. he will sometimes sweep you off your feet and carry you himself so you don't fall down. he will condemn any sharp items and challenge anybody who might make fun of you for it.

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mhahaikyuus · 6 months

Text

Manipulative

wc:; 5.3k

tags;: emotional reader, bakugo being the opposite, reader has mental health issues, established relationship, pro hero bakugo, fighting, angst to fluff, reader and izuku are friends, mentions of death, mentions of bad childhood

a/n: I said I was gonna post like two weeks ago but this draft kept getting longer and longer. it's like half edited but I just need to post something atp. thanks for your patience. I love you all

reblogs and likes appreciated

“Why do you always do this it’s so manipulative.”

You two were in the middle of an argument with your boyfriend. At first it was expressing how each other felt but no one was understanding making it more frustrating. Leading up to you both raising your voices. You hated fighting with him and you felt an upcoming headache.

His loud booming voice was hurting your ears and making you shrink back. Feeling your eyes water you started crying.

All you wanted was to talk about it and not let it get this far. You were sniffling and tears were right down your face.

Mid sentence he interrupted himself, “Here you go again with the tears. Every time we fight here comes the waterworks. Always so sensitive. Why do you always have to be so manipulative.”

The words were dying out of your throat.

What?

He thought you were manipulative because you were emotional. Out of the two of you, you were the most expressive. You were a crybaby and he always teased you.

Books, movies, even a 2 minute youtube video could have you bawling as he laughed at you holding you as you cried. You loved the Notebook it was your favorite movie and you watched it constantly always crying so hard it was as if a loved one died. A fluffy animal on your phone could have you wiping your running mascara off. Someone was mean to you in the store and your eyes would water. It was just who you are as a person since you were a baby. Your own family laughed at you as you waved them off with bloodshot eyes. Katsuki would snicker at your tears and roughly wipe your tears with his thumb. Kiss the top of your head and rubbed it to calm you down. You never thought he had a problem with it. Once at a party a guy in passing called you an ugly bitch and Katsuki had snatched him up as soon as he saw your wobbly lips forcing him to apologize for making you cry.

But he thought you were manipulative for crying?

“You think i’m manipulative?” You said in a small voice.

“Yes! Look at you right now sobbing when we’re in the middle of the fight to make me feel bad.” He barked at you red eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t mean it to be…I just cry easy.” You said unable to look him in the eye, your vision blurred with tears blinking sadly at the floor.

“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”

He was right, “I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said not even remembering what the fight was about.

Katsuki saw how defeated you were looking and all the anger in his chest disappeared. He wanted a fight not for you to be his punching bag.

Both of you stopped the fight and tried to move on so neither one of you went to bed angry. The next couple of days you reminded yourself to keep your emotions in check. You had a terrible day at work, a supervisor yelling at you for a co-worker's mistake and a customer screamed at you not even 20 minutes later over the same mistake. You were crying over the stove, cooking dinner for the both of you. Katsuki came home with a groan and the door shut signaling he was back from work. You quickly wiped your face hearing him enter.

“Baby are you in the kitchen?” He called out

Clearing your throat you answered, “Yea i’m here.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist placing his face in your neck with a kiss.

“What’s wrong?” He said in a gruff voice tired from when work. He could tell from your back something was wrong.

You wiped your face again, “Nothing I was just chopping onions.”

He looked down at the meal and saw no onions but didn’t say anything. “Okay, thanks for cooking.” He said, “I’m getting undressed.” Pressing two hard kisses on your cheek before walking off.

You finished dinner and tried to splash some water on your face to stop the puffiness.

You came back to the table emotions in check and face straight with him across from you. Playing with the food you could feel his eyes on you but you ignored him still feeling how watery your eyes are.

“How was your day?” He said moving seats from across to next to you. Pulling your legs over his with a cheek kiss.

“It was fine how was yours,” you said picking at your food trying to not think about your day. Offering him a small smile.

Fortunately Bakugo was in a talkative mood talking about one of his rough villians today. You nodded along happy that he was the one talking.

He stopped talking to study your face and he frowned, “Are you sure you’re okay? You have this look on your face. You look sad.” He stroked your face with his large finger trying to warm you up. You froze at his reading of you when you promised yourself you would be better, you straightened your back out pulling from him. “No nothings wrong im glad you came back safe.”

He studied your face but let it go. You cleaned up the kitchen as your boyfriend stretched and walked out the kitchen.

Bakugo flopped on the couch arms open for you to crawl into.

“Do you want to watch the notebook it’s been a while since you’ve seen it I know it’s your favorite.” He said trying to cheer you up. You did cry but you always had a small smile on your face for the rest of the night.

"Why are you smiling, weren't you just bawling," Katsuki asked looking down at you with his red eyes as you snuggled into his chest now wet with your tears.

"I dont know...it's sad that she forgets. But love is so beautiful and they have it. He never gave up on her and loved her no matter what. They got to build a life together and grow old and die together." You mumbled looking up at him your chin gently resting on his chest as he rubbed your back.

"I love you." Katsuki said squeezing you extra tight and rolling on top of you making you groan.

"Youre so heavy."

"Shut up."

Your lips pressed together as you tiredly stared at the screen. It was your favorite but it also made you bawl and Katsuki had to hold you as you calmed down.

“No I’ll watch by myself later I know you don’t like it.” You said moving the cursor to a different genre, more his speed.

There was definitely something wrong, Katsuki thought.

You never said no to The Notebook and you would always cry to him about how he better spend his days with you when you’re both old even if one of can't remember. You switched to an Allmight movie he loves and laid back down cuddling him. As emotional as you were you were also very observant. Knowing what ways to distract your boyfriend and fake a poker face. It had just been a while and you were easing back into it.

Bakugo with his arms smothering you with his large biceps telling you facts about Allmight that made you smile as the movie rolled.

“See right there, in the corner that’s the same design i had in my room for my action figure.”

“I had this one poster when I was a kid that was made from this scene.”

You nodded along humming to let him know you were still listening.

No one else got to see him be so dorky about his hero except you and it warmed your heart. Eventually you dragged him to bed and held him close as you both fell asleep. The next couple weeks it was unnatural to you. Burying your emotions down in an exhausting time. It was hard but you would do anything for your relationship. Bakugo had taken notice at you not expressing emotions with him and it freaked him out but he was unable to say how. You could cry up to 3 times a day just crying or complaining to him going to him for comfort. Now you would just stare off into space in your own world around him. The only time he did hear you cry was on accident. He had woke up to clamor out of bed to go pee and hop back into bed. As Bakugo returned he noticed you weren’t there at 3am. Before he thought to panic he walked out to the living room to see your guest bathroom light on. The door was closed but he could hear you crying your eyes out.

He knocked on the door, fully awake to your noises now and ready to cuddle you until you felt better.

“Baby what’s going on?” He said in a gruff voice with sleep still mixed in.

You froze from the bathroom floor at your boyfriends voice.

You quickly wiped your tears and swung open the door, “A nightmare I didn’t want to wake you.” You said with the saddest eyes too tired to try and put on a neutral face.

Work was getting to you, badly. And you had no one to talk to anymore. So you ended up sneaking out of bed to cry on the other side of the house to not wake him.

He rubbed your arms up and down pushing you into him. “Cmere baby.” He said kissing your head.

You leaned into him for a minute before remembering.

“I’m..okay now.” You said weakly, moving away from him and walking to the bedroom.

Katsuki frowned and grabbed your hand to pull you to turn.

“Yes?” You asked

“What’s wrong?” He said trying to get you to talk to him.

“…I’m fine I’m just dramatic.” You said, “A nightmare let’s go to bed.”

He sighed not believing you but following you back to bed extremely tired from patrol.

He trapped you in his arms so you wouldn’t escape him again and both of you drifted off to sleep. Katsuki became buried in work for the next couple days and you missed your boyfriend. It was like you were falling into a deeper and deeper hole as time went on with no escape. Even if you couldn’t express your emotions around him anymore didn’t mean you didn’t love him any less. You decided to stop by the agency after a really hard shift just to see his face hoping it would make you feel better. Walking through the lobby to his receptionist only to be told he was pulled away for an emergency.

Feeling your eyes burn you blinked back tears of frustration.

Katsuki’s receptionist was scrolling on her computer trying to figure out when he would be back for you and you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You turned and Izuku was smiling down at you. One of your good friends since Katsuki introduced the both of you.

“Hey y/n how are you?” He said with a warm smile.

“Izu! I missed you,” You said avoiding his question and giving him a hug.

He happily accepted hugging you back. “I know you’re here for Kacchan but he’s on an emergency right now, but you can always come back to my office and wait for him. We can catch up?” He said. He noticed how fidgety you were at the receptionist’s desk knowing something was wrong.

“Thanks that’s really sweet of you.” You said taking his offer and walking with him to his office.

Izuku and you talked about his girlfriend he had just started to date and how it was going as you sat next to him on the couch he crashed on during late nights.

“It’s going really good I can’t believe she said yes to me, still.” He admitted rubbing the back of his neck with a blush dusting his cheeks at the thought of his girlfriend.

You couldn’t help but smile at how cute it was, Izuku being so bashful about the girl he was starting to fall for.

“Izuku she said yes because you’re a great guy and from what I’m hearing you’re a good boyfriend so stop thinking like that. You two like each other and that’s all that matters.” You reassured your friend already knowing all those doubts were swirling in his mind.

He let out a sigh of relief, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“What are friends for,” You shrugged

Izuku studied for a moment before speaking, “What’s wrong y/n.”

Eyebrows furrowing you were confused, “What do you mean?”

“I saw you at the desk, and I know you better than most. There’s something wrong, and if you want to discuss it with Kacchan i’ll respect that. But know that i’m also here for you.” He said gently putting a hand on your shoulder.

You pressed your lips together trying to stop your chin from wobbling but the tears started to fall against your will.

Damn it

You were doing so well

Stop crying it’s stupid

“It’s that obvious huh,” You said with a cracking voice.

Izuku brought his hand from your shoulder to around both pulling you into his chest as you cried, shaking.

You pulled away after a minute or two wiping your face. “I’m sorry, I’ve been doing so good I thought I had it under control but it’s just…so hard.” Mumbling but Izuku caught every word.

“What’s wrong what are you talking about.” Izuku said gently

“I…if I tell you can you not tell him please?”

Izuku nodded, “It’ll be just us I promise.”

You rubbed your face in your hands letting tears run before taking one solid breath.

“We got in a fight a couple weeks ago. And I was crying while we were…yelling. Kats said I was manipulative with my emotions and crying. I said I would work on it and I was sorry I didn’t know my crying and emotions had that effect on him, and it’s been…s-so hard. Everything in my life is terrible right now, my job, my family and I can’t even talk to him anymore. It’s been so difficult keeping my emotions in check around him. I can’t talk to him or be expressive; be myself around him but I know it’s the only way the relationship will work. I never, ever wanted him to feel like I was manipulating him. I just feel so guilty about it.” Tears stream down your face, “I’ll get over it soon though, it’s a hard transition.”

Izuku watching your body look so hopeless and small as you cried he felt terrible.

Izuku had seen you and Katsuki together and understood the dynamic. Katsuki was known for having a tough exterior and any emotion other than anger was difficult for him. You on the other hand were very emotional. Izuku thought you two were a good match balancing each other, but as of recently, that wasn’t the case.

“I’m…i’m so sorry y/n. But you know he loves you, maybe if you talk to him about how you’re feeling.” He suggested.

You shook your head, “He has enough problems without that. It doesn’t matter how I feel. And he already told me how he feels about the situation, there would be no point…I just need to adjust no matter how hard it is.” You felt your phone buzz underneath you and it was your boyfriend letting you know he was back in the office from an emergency.

His receptionist obviously calling him that you were here when you had left her desk.

You wiped your face again, “He’s back I gotta go.”

Izuku nodded unsure of what to say and walked you out of his office.

You hugged him and he hugged right back feeling worried

“I’m sorry I’m talking about my problems. You’re a good friend.” You pulled away and Izuku wiped a tear falling down your cheek. “Anytime okay? Know that i’m here for you, even when you want to cry your eyes out on my couch.” He lightly joked

A tiny laugh escape you, “Bring your girlfriend over soon for dinner! I would love to meet the girl you’re falling for.” You said and he nodded.

Watching you walk away Izuku could feel nothing but worry and sadness for you. Your entire aura was sad and tired.

Katsuki was stretching in the locker room of the agency with Kirishima walking in the door surprised to see him here.

“What are you doing here man? I thought you’d be with y/n.”

Katsuki frowned at his words, “What do you mean?”

“I just saw her crying with Izuku in front of his office. Thought she would go over to you?” Kirishima innocently said confused.

Katsuki immediately got up and left to find you. He texted he was back but he thought you would be in his office.

Why were you crying?

Why were you with Izuku?

Not even knocking on the door he swung open Izuku’s door to find you scaring his green-haired friend.

“Where is she?” He said with a scowl and angry red eyes.

Izuku recovering from his door almost ripped off the hinges blinked at him, “She went to go find you after you texted her”

“She was crying? Why?” He said seething at the thought of you upset

“Um…I don’t know.” Izuku said keeping his word to not tell Katsuki.

“Useless fuck.” Katsuki grumbled slamming the door behind him to go find you

He called you and you picked up on the second ring, “Where are you?”

“I’m in your office stealing your snacks.” You said causally on the phone and it confused him.

Weren’t you crying?

" Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

He walked into his office and you were sprawled out on a chair on your phone.

In the time you took to go to the office, you forced yourself to calm down, wiped your running makeup, and became ready to see your boyfriend

He leaned down kissing your head lifting you from the seat. To have you sit on his lap as he held you.

“How was the emergency?” You said.

“Dumbass villians but I took them down.” He said.

“You’re not hurt are you?”

“No im not babydoll.” He said gruffly. Katsuki trying to bring up you crying but not knowing how.

Why were you crying to Izuku but fine with him?

“Good, I missed you. Thanks for the hug.” You said giving him a kiss ready to move off his lap but he moved his big arm around you keeping you in place.

“What’s wrong?” He said studying your face

“What do you mean?” You said confused

“You were crying earlier Kirishima saw you.” He said his red eyes going back and forth with your own.

“Oh…it was stupid it doesn’t matter.”

“But i want to know,” He insisted

You felt your heart squeeze, you couldn’t tell him you were sobbing to Izuku because of him and how unhappy you were. “A rude client today at work,” You said with a sad smile.

Katsuki could tell you were lying but didn’t say anything.

“Okay I gotta go to the store and pick up for dinner. Do you want anything?” You wanted to leave.

He sighed, “No and it’s my turn for dinner remember.”

You moved to get up again and he trapped you in his arms.

He began kissing up your neck and face, “I love you, you know that? You can talk to me.” He said seriously trying to pry whatever was bothering you out of your tight grasp, to let him in.

You brought both your hands up to his pale face and kissed him, “I love you more.”

You had to, to be destroying little pieces of yourself for him.

After dinner, you climbed into bed with him next to you. He was reading a book with his reading glasses when your phone was buzzing from an incoming phone call. You picked up the call to your sister crying her eyes out making you alert.

“What’s wrong?” You asked worried trying to comfort her

“Luna is dead, she died in her sleep but she’s dead.” Your sister sobbed and you felt your heart drop.

The childhood pet you’ve had since you were 5 was dead.

She was your favorite thing in the world.

“What…” You whispered feeling the pit in your stomach widen.

“I know she’s old but I thought we had more time.” Your sister cried.

Feeling stuck, like all the energy in your body was gone you hung up the phone.

Bakugo at this point heard screaming on the phone and put down his book to see you staring off into space with a drained expression on your face.

“Y/n.” He said softly touching your arm.

Humming a small noise to let him know you acknowledged him.

“Y/n what’s going on baby?” He said rubbing your back.

You forced back the tears in your eyes, “My childhood dog died.” You said in the most monotone voice.

“What? Jesus i’m sorry.” He said sitting up to try and hold you. But you were stiff and leaning away from him, “I have to use the bathroom.”

You locked yourself in the bathroom and quietly cried. After 20 minutes Bakugo got up and gently knocked on the door.

“Baby come on. Please come out. I can hold you like you love.” Bakugo said in an almost begging tone.

It had been little things he had observed of you being less emotional but he never thought it was this bad. You couldn’t even cry in front of him or let him hold you? Even when it was this bad? You were shaking on the floor in a ball crying,

“I’m fine please…just go away.”

You wanted, no needed, to just cry. Not feeling guilty about how that affected him. Bakugo reluctantly left and you slept on the floor of the bathroom that night only wanting to be with your baby who you would never see again. Bakugo barely slept just watching the bathroom door and realizing how badly he had fucked up. Around 7am when his alarm went off you woke up to crusted eyes on the floor.

You finally crawled your way out of the bathroom to your boyfriend walking in with a coffee in his hand. Not even having the energy to stand.

Your order from Starbucks in his hand. His hand engulfing the large cup.

“Y/n- oh you’re out of the bathroom.” He placed the cup on your nightstand and pulled you to your feet. He gently put his hand on the back of your head to hug you. Leaning into him before pulling away. You fell back into bed throwing a cover over your head.

“I got you your drink.” He said slowly rubbing your back and you let out a small groan.

He hated Starbucks but went to for you to make you feel better. Loathed it as he had told you many times complaining whenever you made him go. Hated the lines, your fancy drink order, and the number of people but he went for you.

“I…i have to go to work but i’m coming to check on you at lunch okay? Breakfast is on the counter and I already called your work that you wouldn’t be coming in.” He said.

One thing about Katsuki is he was great at acts of service. He pulled back the blanket to see your face. Broken expression and a blank sad stare in your eyes focused on the wall. Katsuki stroked your hair and gave you a kiss. “I love you okay? Try to get out of bed today for me.”

You shut your eyes at his words, just waiting for him to leave.

He sighed and left the apartment.

You slept most of the day not wanting to be up. Wanting to wither away into nothingness, never to be bothered again. Letting sadness that at most times was a small wave at your feet turned into a deep dark hole where you struggled to not drown.

Katsuki came in to work in a sour mood that everyone could tell to steer far from him. That is except his best friend who was so used to his moods. Izuku saw that Katsuki wasn’t angry even if that what appeared. He was frustrated and he looked worried. Izuku knew he only sported this look when it came to you.The only person Katsuki cared about more than anything.

As the briefing for the next big mission came to a close Izuku caught up to the foul mouthed blond.

“Hey Kacchan.” He said expecting a frown at his greeting

Katsuki was in his head so busy thinking about you, he didn’t even manage to turn down his lips at Izuku.

Only focusing on what he could do to help you.

He had noticed the change in your behavior in the recent weeks and it concerned him. Now dealing with death he was worried for you. You weren’t in the best place mentally and seeing you so drained this morning not even able to walk to bed was scaring him.

“What is it.” He sniped at Izuku as they walked down the glass hallway.

“How are you? How’s y/n. I talked to her a couple days ago and just wanted to check in.” Izuku said trying to set up an open discussion for Katsuki to help him talk about his problems. To help you.

Katsuki scowled at Izuku’s mention of you remembering that you cried to him.

Him

Izuku

But you locked yourself in the bathroom these days and pulled away from his hugs when he tried to comfort you. He walked into his office knowing Izuku was following him and sat at his desk, sucking his teeth. Izuku sat down across from him waiting.

“She’s shutting down on me. She won’t talk to me or let me comfort her. I don’t know what I did.” Bakugo admitted

“What happened?” Izuku asked

“I don’t know you tell me. She was crying to you last week. What the hell was that.” Katsuki almost barked at Izuku

“She felt bad and needed to cry. So I let her. She just needed someone to be there for her. I didn’t do anything.” Izuku said carefully not wanting to give away what you had begged him to not say.

“When did she start to pull away?” Izuku said trying to make Katsuki see the connection of his words and your actions.

Katsuki pressed his thumb and finger in between his eyebrows trying to focus on when the change started.

“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”

“I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said

Bakugo froze at the memory. Oh god what had he done.

“We had a fight. And I told her… I told her she was manipulative for crying. And she said she would stop” He said feeling his heart drop into his stomach.

Winning that one fight had caused this much damage? Bakugo felt his stomach twisting.

Izuku sighed, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with you anymore.”

Bakugo let out a shaky breath at his words. “Get the fuck out.” He said bitterly and Izuku got up and left without a word.

Bakugo picked up the phone filling his eyes sting.

Come on baby pick up

Please

Reaching your voicemail, Bakugo looked up at the ceiling shaking his head.

You stopped. Stop crying. Stop talking to him.

Stop coming to him.

Bakugo wanted nothing but to be there for you, protect, love and cherish you.

And he had pushed you away. He knew how sensitive you were and how everyone diminished your feelings constantly since you were a child. And he called you manipulative making you recoil.

He felt sick at the thought of you needing him and he wasn’t there for you.

Leaving you.

It was his fault.

He looked at the clock and saw it was lunchtime. Bakugo rushing to the apartment as he had promised earlier. Seeing the untouched breakfast sitting on the counter. You were sleeping, taking a nap, exhausted from crying so hard.

Gently shaking you awake he saw you open your puffy bloodshot eyes.

“Y/n. Baby.” He said softly.

You blinked at him tired. Your boyfriend was home.

“Can you sit up for me.” Katsuki asked

You shook your head pounding from a headache. You were dehydrated from crying.

Katsuki sighed.

He walked out of your eyeline and you closed your eyes. Katsuki coming only to check on you. He was leaving.

When you felt a weight on the other side of the mattress and Katsuki wrapping his arms around you engulfing your body with his.

You didn’t move just taking shaky breaths.

Katuski feeling how you trembled in his hold.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m fine.” You said in a shaky voice staring at the wall. Squeezing your eyes shut hoping he would just go away.

You felt guilt swimming in your stomach at him holding you.

You promised yourself you would work on your emotions.

“I know.” He said behind you but not moving snuggling closer to you holding you in his arms.

You began to hyperventilate at his touch.

“Please. Stop. We agreed…I would work on this.” You said beginning to breakdown unable to stop. Tears streaming and shaky breaths racking your body as your boyfriend held you ignoring your words.

He knew you better than anyone. These walls you were putting up were no match for him and how much he loved you.

Katsuki gently turned your body to face him and held the back of your head to his chest. You sobbed into his chest until you tired yourself out

You woke up to Katsuki stroking your head holding you in bed as the tv played on a low volume.

Stiffening in his hold you pulled yourself away from him.

“I..I’m sorry it won’t happen again," You said realizing what you had done, "I meant what I said. I’m working on it.”

He looked at you, confusion flashing over his features before sadness.

“Baby…you don’t have to. I don’t mind-. You can come to me you know that right.” Bakugo said struggling to find the words at your fragile state.

You shook your head feeling tears coming but forcing them down. “No…no, I can’t. I don’t want to manipulate you even if I don’t mean to.”

“You’re not.” He said heartbroken at your shaking form. Seeing you punish yourself with your thoughts of coming to him was hurting him. He slowly tried to reach out his hand and you almost flinched.

“I am and I…I can’t lose you. If that means I can’t come to you anymore I’ll do it. I never wanted to hurt you and I have. And I keep making mistakes but I can’t do that with you, with us. I can’t lose you too. I slipped up. I promise I’ll do better.” You said holding yourself from him

Bakugo watching you destroy yourself because of him. In shock at your words.

He grabbed you before you could protest hugging you into him.

And words he rarely said left his lips.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

“What did I do?” He whispered into your scalp as you shook and hyperventilated.

“I'm not leaving you, and I was mad when I said it. I love you I’m not going to leave you if you act emotional. You can cry to me forever if you want. I love you no matter what and I need you to come to me when you feel bad.” He said, feeling like the worst partner in the world.

“You don’t think I’m manipulative, you’re not going to leave.” You said with wobbly lips and the saddest eyes he had ever seen.

As if he could ever leave you.

“No baby, I'm not leaving. I can’t. I need you.”

That broke the damn and you cried even harder as he held you closer rubbing your back.

“I missed you.” You said in between shaky breaths into his chest.

“I'm sorry baby. I'm here now.”

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