#not all of them are there yet tho

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[soranker]

HAPPY DUNMESHI DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #ERM sorry too lazy to tag all of them #me lying thru my teeth tho. the show hasnt dropped for me yet. #im pulling my hair out in agony waiting. HELLP

[acetier]

new hyrule, old friend

((it's been a hot minute, pls have this humble lil totk drawing :'^D))

#tloz #totk #tears of the kingdom #link #zelda #light dragon #ace draws #srry for going awol lol #a lot of stressful things happened all around the same time #in other news i've been spending all of my spare time playing both totk and elden ring #i have not finished either of them yet tho lol

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

#zutara #atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #katara #zutara fanart #Wip #First page of three is done!!! #Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!! #It's been ages since I started this project omg #But it's worth it #Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho #I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you #Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that. #Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first... #... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol #Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits #And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one... #And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts #So uh #Yeah #Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay) #Dema out #(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious) #(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#boothill #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr incorrect quotes #hsr memes #honkai star rail memes #hsr meme #honkai star rail meme #hsr textpost #hsr boothill #boothill hsr #hsr spoilers #hsr 2.2 spoilers #hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them #still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving #anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord #i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case! #i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now #i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post #but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well) #speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest #i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end #he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops #i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He. #also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak #anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now

[mattodore]

playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

#river dipping #dionte duval #lykos #ts4 #i do really love how dionte and nicholas kinda have a b4b (bald for bald) thing going on.... but that first hair........ #he looks so good... the urge to keep it is gonna make me develop a twitch under my eye... #i love the shadows the locs add btw like i personally loveee when hair creators add shading #like the DRAMAAA it adds!!! #also don't look too closely at him here bc i actually haven't updated him yet hence no proper edit of him (tho i probably won't change much #i'm really just supposed to be cleaning out the hundreds!! of duplicate households in my library dkhjnkfgh i just. get so distracted #i also have to fix mattodore's households bc i think i accidentally deleted the updated version of them at 20... #like there are multiple other saves?? but they're all with matthias's old chin??? like literally WHERE did the updated version go #so i need to clean out my library from the top down and fix their sims #i really messed my sleep schedule up the day before yesterday when i was working on those edits of delphi btw #but i did enjoy rewatching secretary and watching charade while staying up all night to do them <3 #also listened to the first two chapters of freedom is a constant struggle! editing may take me forever but i do do other things as i do it #...........talking a lot in these tags bc i'm seriously procrastinating jdkhnf i do NOT ! want to clean through my library it's a mess #OH. ALSO GOOD MORNING I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ‼️ #seeing this again two days later and seeing the amount of notes....... y'all weren't meant to reblog this kjhdkfjhndkjgnh #now i'm like damn... is there any reason to make his intro edit like i did for ria and delphi 😭😭😭😭😭

[kenchann]

i drew these last year but im posting em now cause portfest

#twisted wonderland #twst #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #mmarts #also i posted the others before and just including them to compile em all heh #yep... im p sure i didnt post some of these yet #jack howl #ruggie bucchi #floyd leech #rook hunt #twst oc #twst grim #twst yuu #oc: noah #his old look tho lol #azul ashengrotto #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #twst silver

[shima-draws]

I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a fucking sucker for unhealthy dependent relationships. There’s just something about them that is so. Chef’s kiss 👌

Anyway I’m still thinking about how Law was so attached to Cora and was so traumatized by his death that he literally devoted thirteen YEARS of his life to revenge killing Doflamingo. Even though all Cora ever wanted was for Law to just be free and live his life happily. And Law spending all his time in a hateful revenge spiral is literally the exact OPPOSITE of what Cora wanted for him. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. If the thirteen years of endless devotion to avenging his savior wasn’t enough Law 1. Named his pirate crew the Heart Pirates in honor of Cora, 2. Covered himself in permanent heart-themed tattoos in honor of Cora, and 3. Fashioned his Jolly Roger to be a mockery of Doflamingo’s and ALSO to honor Cora. Homie is a walking memorial for a man he only really knew for six months and again crafted the most intricate plan known to mankind to murder Cora’s killer. Because losing Cora fucked him up THAT much. Because even though Cora set him free, the moment Doflamingo shot him Law was chained to the memory of a man who no longer existed. Law literally fashioned his entire life down to his own appearance after Cora and it makes me so insane. I cannot even imagine what went through his head after Dressrosa I mean how do you move on after a thirteen year grudge is put to rest. What is he supposed to do now. Avenging Cora was literally his entire existence, his entire reason for living for half of his life. He needs therapy probably. If Cora somehow ever did come back to life Law would lose his fucking mind. The dependency is SO unhealthy and I am SO here for it

#Anyway this is not me promoting unhealthy relationships irl #If you are that dependent on someone that you can’t bear to live without them. Get help! Therapy!! Actually!!! #In fiction tho it is a wonderful treat. Haha yes I love to watch my faves suffer. #One Piece #Trafalgar Law #Donquixote Rosinante #Donquixote Doflamingo #Doflamingo #Cora #One Piece Cora #One Piece spoilers #Dressrosa #Shima speaks #I AM SO. HNNGHHH. I AM UNWELL. I probably also need therapy. LMAO #Oda why did you do this why did you kill Law’s dad (again) #Law: Feel like shit just want Cora-san back #Also I didn’t even get into how much Cora influenced Law’s life VS how his actual blood family influenced his life #Flevance was traumatic as FUCK and yet all of Law’s notable trademarks are still Cora-themed… #(Bc Cora saved him. Bc Cora gave him a reason to live after he thought he’d lost everything) #Slams my head into the wall and howls

[makiswirl]

jolyne..... but LITTLE

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jolyne kujo #jolyne cujoh #my art #i'll rb this in the morning i do realize that i am posting this very late. except the first one. i drew that like Right Now. #i technically drew the rest when i started reading yotsuba soooooo.... SLIGHT inspiration....... (ignores the panel redraw) #i pictured her like this prior tho ^_^. i've heard the comparison made a lot and every1 was right #yotsuba is such a good cute little series you all should really read it #jean pierre polnareff #kakyoin noriaki #noriaki kakyoin #jotaro kujo #kujo jotaro #etc etc being thorough with the tags again. as one does #ft. hierophant green. dying. sorry little dude #slowly but surely chugging out my (effort-y) doodles i haven't posted yet #i have sloppier art and ideas on the matter to ramble about please god ask me about them................................... o_o #dadtaro #??? #smolyne #those are their tags i think. idk i just got here pls god correct me if wrong

[svtskneecaps]

i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:

aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart

goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop

ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds

crow team's egg taking 0 damage

pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second

shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)

badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream

wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao

tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit

theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment

theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time

seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic

kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1

the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)

lgbtiba

i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory 2 #qpurgatory 2 #there hope those filter for u fuckers #(/affectionate) #shut up vic #block game brainrot #if you can't tell my povs went something like this: #crab -> raccoon -> panda -> capybara -> goose -> crow #so i didn't watch all of them lmfao #i only spent a few hours with raccoon and crab; panda i caught all of #capybara and goose i mostly watched on their elimination day #crow i hopped into on the final day as well tho i'd been keeping some tabs on them previously #just not concentrated watching #i like purgatories :D #to be clear though i hope they don't run purg 3 until like november 2024 at the absolute EARLIEST #the staff is NOT at the point they can handle it yet lol not for a while #the fact that one of the ex devs said they were already talking about purg 3 was crazy #like i'm patient i'm not nuts let's cook this one #this is neglecting to mention the post-server close calls which are my favorite part of the event no contest #oh yeah and i also have issues w how some of the special events work #those need some tweaking it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination #but i enjoy it :) it has good moments

[soultiio]

my god my god why have you forsaken me

wasn't I good to you?

#shizaya au #shizaya #heiwajima shizuo #orihara izaya #drrr #durarara #fallen angel izaya #priest shizuo #shizuo is having moral dilemma #hes having a hard time with his faith too #if god so good why evil exist hm? #MIREN LES JURO Q TENGO LA TRAMA Y CARACTERIZACION MASOMENOS HECHA PERK NO SE INGLES #also sorry if u see me posting so much i dropped out #btw the wings are definitely wrong like the anatomy #but it doesnt matter izayas gonna lose them anyway #bc hes a fallen angel so he doesnt need them anymore #god really said ha fuck u *rips out your flying ability from you even tho it's all you've known and now you are stuck with these legs* #imagine izaya like those newborns animals that dont know how to walk yet so they keep falling

[sysig]

Two big softies(?) (Patreon)

#Doodles #Handplates #UT #Fellplates #Gaster #Flowey #Flowey is still my favourite UT character so honestly a lot of this was just self-indulgent doodles lol #But then - as always - it did turn into Thinking A Lot about [thing] lol #Starting with the classic tho! Flowey friendly-like coiled around whoever he's talking to ♪ It's too fun hehe #I love Flowey getting just a liiiiittle too close and personal to a discomfort degree ♫ He's just being friendly! It's a hug! A snuggle! #He's your best friend so you don't mind right? :) Why would Fellplates!Gaster mind ♪ #He's always posed to stage right when I draw him haha - I'm still fond of the one Gravity Falls/Undertale crossover piece I made with him #Anyhow lol - yet more fluffy wings! It's just fun if they're expressive I want real feathers lol #Gaster's face completely neutral but his wings all puffed up and freaked out hehe #Flowey would definitely be able to tell if those are when he chose to wrap around! #If they were just the decorative version he'd fall right off from his own weight pulling them loose lol #Absolutely thinking of the one of Gaster screaming while being vine-wrapped by Flowey haha - he's totally innocent here! ♥ #And then a little idea of how each of them react to humans - UkaGaster talks a lot about his general positive feelings for humans #And Fell!Flowey is.....well I have my own thoughts about how he might react to humans now that he's been...himself for a while #There have been Fallen Humans in the time between being locked in the Underground and [now] even in Underfell hasn't there? #I guess none of them would've made it as far as meeting up with Gaster - bit of a dark thought heh - but Flowey would know #Is it selfish? To wish for humans or to keep them a secret from the rest of the Underground? What might happen? #It's interesting to think about! If there were humans then surely Gaster must be aware of the Souls? #But even if not - even if this could be before all that - Flowey would still know about human Determination to an extent - being what he is #It wouldn't turn out well for anyone :) That's what makes it interesting ♪

[cryptid-condor]

the deer prince and the golden doe

from chapter 34 of Salt00's fic Chick Magnet

please click for HD tumblr is killing this one

#what's up nerds #fire emblem three houses #claude von riegan #fe3h #chick magnet took over my life for like 2 months #i've never managed to get through any fic over 150000 words before but uh..... here i am #i'm on chapter 79 #its like really damn good #i haven't even played the golden deer route yet but i would die for all of them #i feel like the shading on this one is way better than what i did for Dogs of Heaven #i'm getting better! i need to learn how to not do soft shading tho jeez #on the plus now i know how to make glowing molten gold which is the best part of the whole picture tbh #the working title was 'dear deer prince' which is very fun to say #i am going to TRY 52 pieces 52 weeks again but i'll see what happens #but this is week one! and pic one #all my rat

[elbdot]

So, you and white haired boys, huh?

Oh don't even get me sTARTED...

Somehow they just keep getting worse and worse EACH TIME, I DON'T KNOW H O W

#ASTARION TOPS THEM ALL THO LIKE OH MY GOD - NO ONE CAN REACH THAT LEVEL OF TRAUMA #And EVILNESS QUITE FRANKLY #The most twisted fcked up sassy asshat of them all #of SOUL YOU GUYS WEREN'T AWARE OF YET #THAT ONE IS O L D #Lil' teenage me's first anime crush LMAO #At least I am self-aware enough about my TENDENCIES TO FICTIONAL MEN #And I DO mean FICTIONAL #I WOULD NOT WANT THIS IN REAL LIFE #“I CAN FIX HIM” NO BICH YOU CANT!!!!!! YOU CAN'T FIX A SINGLE ONE OF THEM #IT'S ONLY FUN IN FICTION BECAUSE IT'S FICTION!!! YOU CAN FIX'EM ALL IN YOUR FIX-IT-FICS HOORAY! #With Astarion I am just here for the show #He is so terrible it's funny as heck #And when he ISN'T nasty Neils voice performance for vulnerable gentle Astarion??? Goes down like BUTTER #OH YEAH THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT #I'M HERE FOR THIS #mod #reply #soul evans #guzma #astarion

[ganondoodle]

so, its pretty rough and by far not complete but this is a rough layout for the map of destiny (my zelda fancomic), i mainly took it after skyward sword but added parts of botw into it (like lanayru street, the twin mountains that were one mountain until ch3, the gerudo highlands, akkala ref; among more general map overlap)

this ones with some super rough chapter markers and some descriptions, the circle doesnt mean the chapter doesnt go to multiple places but the main happening of it is there, its again, pretty rough and lacks the correct order yet too, ill prob add that with time as i write out the scripts for the next chapters, so far i got the order until chapter 6 (chapter 4 is mostly at hylias temple and since there are alot of chapters happening there its not marked seperately)

chapter 1: demon (complete)

chapter 2: a dance of ice and fire (script done)

chapter 3: moving mountains (name not final)

chapter 4: starry night

chapter 5: a wound for a wound (placeholder name)

chapter 6: curiosity (possibly placeholder name, forgot to mark it on the map even tho i know where it goes)

most other chapters i know where and whats happening but i cant remember the exact order, i gotta make a structured chapter chart soon so i dont have to think over everything every single time i need the order

this is probably not very interesting but, even tho it is just a rough layout more for myself than anything else, i thought id share anyway, i know my handwriting when i write fast and tired is hard to read but uh .. feel free to send me an ask about it if theres anything youd like to know (do mention if you are ok with spoilers for the story)

#ganondoodles #zelda #art #tloz #skyward sword #wip #making maps is hard #in general i pulled the map of skysw apart since its not evne really connected on its own map #and put some botw refs into places that arent too far from where they are in botw but also so they make more sense for skysw #also lanayru is not a desert yet tho that process has started due to hylia building what she is supposed to #... in my hc the mining of time stones takes the life out of the land since those stones are made from concentrated spirits- #-that slowly give out their energy and its all a delicate balance #which is destroyed by hylia+ mining them en masse to create the portals #that hc is also based on my hc that luminous stones eventually turn into timeshift stones bc spirits of the dead and all #anyway #yes there are actual cities and towns in skysw #its before the game anyway but like #the handful of people in the sky are not enough for me lol #and gerudo already existed too #maybe bado(groose) is like a half gerudo and thats why hes got red hair