#nope sorry you just have a weird fucking child

[eldenringle]

My surgeon gave me medical grade honey to put on my problem nipple and the urge to lick the applicator after every dressing change is so so strong....

#top surgery #i very likely have a connective tissue disorder #so im more prone to complications and have a lot of delayed wound healing #so the edges of one nip graft didnt take in spots #and the stitches didnt hold it cause skin so flimsy #annnnnd its been taking way longer than average to heal cause ive got That Bad Collagen #but my surgeon and his team have been taking such good care of me post op #the whole thing was the best experience ive had with medical professionals EVER #and after so very many bad doctors its honestly been so healing #like even beyond the gender care its soothed my jumpy disabled ass so much #therapy for my cardiologist diagnosed white coat syndrome (medical anxiety from being disabled) #also they gave me a honey patch to try #i didnt end up using it cause it was gonna be hard to tape down #but it smelled so sweet i almost ate it #i could have #it was safe to eat and the discord server was being a bad influence #but i woke up my poor mom to be my impulse control #later i found out she thought it was a dream lmaooooo #nope sorry you just have a weird fucking child

[chaifootsteps]

Not necessarily Viv related, but I used to be a huge anti proshipper way back (Kinda still am but not as extreme, if that makes sense)

Granted, if someone does ship adults with minors or anything like that, yeah, I may not like that... but I'm not going to send them death threats or harass them. I simply block and move on. (Other times I don't even care. Do what you want.)

And as long as they're not going after kids or animals, they can do what they want, I suppose.

The only reason I was a big anti proshipper was because I once got an ask telling me to "clear the worms from my brain" because I said I didn't like adults being together with minors, etc. And I guess it kinda made me think "oh they're all gross people who want to see kids getting fucked with adults" or something like that.

While I may have different opinions on ships, it's not something to send death threats or get so heated about. And while people can care about more than one thing, I feel like real people getting hurt is more important than some lines and pixels. (Is it still weird to me? Yeah. But just don't go after real kids or anything, you guys. Thanks)

(Sorry if this made no sense. I'm bad at explaining my thoughts. Stay safe, Chai)

- Molasses Anon (I guess. First thing that came to mind)

That's an extremely fair stance to take, and that was a fucked up thing to say to you just because you didn't like something. I would have been bitter too.

My thinking is that everyone's got their story, and nobody knows what Rosebud moment led someone to like a particular ship. How they like a ship is something I might have a problem with...for example, I once saw someone say that a ship was fine because "14 years old is on the cusp of womanhood" and NOPE. Bail, bail, bail.

I won't lie and say that I've never been an asshole about shipping discourse, but one thing that's come of being so deep in the Viv critical world where a ton of people identify as anti is realizing that not all people who call themselves anti are gumming up the child predator tip line with stuff about Naruto porn and telling strangers that they deserved what happened to them as a kid. We're all just people, here to play with our paper dolls.

#Anonymous #Molasses Anon #actual blog post

[harrywavycurly]

Hi Sarah this is so random so don’t feel like you have to do it 🙈

But could you give us some random conversations with Eddie and the reader when they are pregnant? I just see them having super cute moments but also funny ones! Thank you xx

Hiii babes!! So just thinking of Eddie as a dad to be makes me wanna just turn to puddle of mush so thank you for wanting this and I hope you enjoy💖

*Eddie being willing to do just about anything to make you happy is what I live for also this is a mixture of fluff and like sassy realness lol*

“Are you allowed to do that while you’re with child?” “With child? What century are you in?” “I mean you’re…with a child.” “Don’t ever say that to me again.” “Got it.”

“Why do clothes that are so small cost so much money?” “Because they are extra cute and tiny so they have to charge more.” “You’re fucking with me.” “Nope it’s called the cute and tiny tax. Look it up Munson.” “It’s scary how convening you can be.” “What do you mean?” “Well come on, tiny tax? That’s not a real thing.” “Are you calling me a liar?” “Oh shit are you crying?”

“What about pizza? You love pizza.” “I don’t want that.” “Okay oh I’ve got it what about that weird sandwich you craved last week? I can make that for you.” “I will literally throw up on you if you even try to make me eat that right now.” “That’s a no then…uh pasta?” “That doesn’t sound horrible.” “Okay I’ll take that. Now what kind? We have like three different options.” “I don’t know.” “Please don’t cry sweetheart. I’ll just make them all okay? Let you pick and I’ll have whatever you don’t want. Just don’t cry baby.”

“Give me your hand.” “Oh no I’m not falling for that again.” “Eddie please give me your hand.” “What is that?” “You felt that? It’s the baby kicking.” “Holy shit.” “Are you crying?” “Yes. I just felt my baby kick for the first time I’m entitled to some waterworks.” “You’re so precious Eddie Munson.”

“Do you want to be called daddy or dad?” “I think I’ll save daddy for you princess.” “Why are you like this?” “Sorry. Dad is fine.” “Oh what about father?” “Too Darth Vader for me baby. But really dad or like what do babies say? Dada? That’ll be fine I’ll respond to anything they wanna call me.” “What if they call you Munson?” “They absolutely will never call me that.” “Oh oh what if when they are mad and they call you Eddie?” “You think they’ll be that mad at me one day to call me by my actual name? I didn’t learn Wayne’s name till I was like ten.” “I mean teenagers can be mean.” “Thank god we have time to prepare ourselves for that. But if they ever call me Eddie I’ll let you handle it.” “Me?” “Oh didn’t you know you’re totally the bad cop on this duo baby.” “No way in hell! I’m the good cop you asshole.” “You just proved my point sweetheart.” “You’re so annoying.”

“I feel like a whale.” “Am I allowed to tell you how beautiful you look or will that get me in trouble?” “You’re allowed.” “You look fucking stunning baby. I know they say pregnant woman have a glow and they were right. You…just take my breath away every time I see you.” “Laying it on extra thick today are we?” “Just being honest sweetheart.” “You like me all big and pregnant?” “Honestly I do. So much so I wouldn’t mind seeing you pregnant again after we meet this little metalhead.” “I’m gonna need you to slow your roll Munson. Let’s see how this pregnancy goes before we plan the next one.” “Fine. But really you’re fucking sexy as hell okay? If you ever forget it don’t worry I’ll happily remind you.”

“Thank you Princess.” “What are you thanking me for?” “For wanting to have a baby with me.” “Well thank you for sticking around.” “Oh you’re gonna have a hell of a time trying to get rid of me now baby.” “Oh god am I stuck with you for good?” “Yup I’m afraid so.” “I guess there’s worse things I could be stuck with.” “I feel the love princess.” “I love you Eddie.” “I love you too baby, both of you.”

“Have you ever thought about how you’re a walking party of two?” “I can’t say that I have.” “Like when we go to Benny’s we could say Munson party of three.” “Eddie is this what you think about while you’re home alone?” “I mean…yeah. It’s just really mind blowing knowing there’s a whole human inside of you right now.” “I know it is pretty wild to think about.” “Like you have two hearts inside you.” “I do. Yeah.” “That’s so fucking cool.”

“How’s this?” “It’s fine Eddie, I swear you’re not hurting me by putting lotion on my belly.” “I just don’t wanna put too much like pressure anywhere and make you have an accide-” “It happened one time and you swore you’d never bring it up again.” “Sorry sorry I didn’t mean to. I love you.” “I love you too.” “And I love you as well my little metalhead.” “Did you just kiss my belly? Why are your lips so cold?” “I don’t know? Wanna warm them up for me?” “That was smooth Munson.” “Hear that little one? Your dads still got it.”

“Baby? What’s wrong?” “I can’t sleep I’m having a hot flash.” “Okay let me get the fan.” “But then you’ll be cold.” “I’ll be fine baby I’ll just get an extra blanket. Besides I love sleeping with the fan on, the sounds are very relaxing.” “You hate our fan it squeaks too much.” “What are you talking about? The fan squeaking is the most soothing sound my ears have ever heard sweetheart.” “I can just sleep in the living room with the fan it’s fine.” “Baby please just get back into bed.” “You swear you don’t mind the fan?” “I swear.”

#boyfriend eddie munson #dad!eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson concept #eddie munson request #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x pregnant!reader #Eddie Munson #my little dungeon master baby #eddie munson fanfiction

[topguncortez]

“ my love, starting a family with you… it’s my greatest wish. but if you’re not ready, that’s okay. what will be, will be. ” and Pete Mitchell please but with a age gap sp younger reader please???

Start Up Family | Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x female!reader warnings: pregnancy, mention of an age gap, judgmental peers prompts list!

This wasn't how your life with Maverick was supposed to go. You weren't totally against the idea of kids, you just didn't want to actively try for them. You were young, freshly turned 28 about a month ago, and Maverick had turn 55 about two months prior. The topic of kids had only come up a couple times. Maverick had always thought his time for kids had passed, the one child he did have a hand in raising was all grown up now.

The ultrasound was burning a hole into the counter as you leaned against the sink, staring at it. A routine check up with your doctor ended up with you being seen by an OB and setting up your twelve week appointment. How you managed to miss the symptoms for the past ten weeks was beyond your knowledge, but here you were.

"So you gonna tell him?" Bradley asked you. You jumped forgetting that he was even here in the first place. You and Bradley were close, being roughly around the same age. Bradley was understanding of your relationship with his godfather, and didn't look at you any different for it. In this moment, you were very grateful for Bradley Bradshaw.

"I have to," You said, blinking rapidly at the ultrasound, "I have no idea how I could not. It's his kid too, Rooster."

"I know that was," Bradley sighed shaking his head, "That was stupid of me to say. How are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. I guess just be like 'hey, your swimmers are still strong.'"

"Ew, Y/N," Bradley said, and pushed himself off the counter, "Listen, I can't tell you how to tell him, but I can tell you that I will be by your side no matter what."

"Thank you Bradley."

"Hey, I've always wanted to be a big brother!" Bradley smiled and hugged you, "It'll all work out, sweetheart. I know it."

You nodded and walked Bradley to the door. You had about half an hour before Maverick came home. You had already gotten a frame to put the ultrasound in, and dug through the various closets in the house to find a box and wrapping paper. You had also started on dinner, making chicken and vegetables, and a salad.

"Oh! Smells good in here!" Maverick called out as he walked into the house. You smiled over your shoulder as Maverick walked into the kitchen. He was still in his flight suit, and looked as handsome as ever. He greeted you with a kiss on the cheek as you finished prepping dinner, "Looks good too."

"How was your day?" You asked him.

"Long and tiring. And Rooster was acting weird. . . he say anything to you?"

"Nope," You said rather quickly and Maverick looked you up and down. Your back was still to him as you messed with the food on the stove, but you could feel his eyes burning into your skin.

"Okay. . . Hey, what's this?" Maverick said, noticing the wrapped box on the counter.

"For you," You shrugged, still not looking at him. You heard the wrapping paper rip open, and him taking apart the the box. You froze as you heard the lid fall, and his breath catch.

"Honey, is this-"

You turned around and smiled shyly, "Surprise?"

"Yeah, wow," Maverick said, looking down at the framed picture of the ultrasound, "Wow this is-"

"I'm sorry," You said, bursting out into tears. Maverick was startled at the sudden shift in mood, and set the frame down, "I know you didn't really want your own kids, you kept saying how Bradley and the Daggers were your kids and that you never settled down and you liked how life is. And honestly, I don't really know if I want kids yet, but it's sort of growing on me, but I just don't know. And I don't know why I'm fucking crying right now!" You sniffled and Maverick had to bite back his laughter, as he walked to you and caressed your face.

“My love, starting a family with you… it’s my greatest wish. but if you’re not ready, that’s okay. what will be, will be," Maverick said, his green eyes looking into yours, "I will be by your side, no matter what you chose."

"I just don't know," You said, truthfully, "I don't know what's going to happen next or what to do next."

"Well that's why you have me, and Bradley, we'll help you and be by you in whatever you decide. It's your choice, honey."

"A part of me always did want to be a mom," You sniffled and smiled, "And I think you'd make a pretty hot daddy."

Maverick chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist, "So. . . we're doing this? I'm about to be a dad at fifty-five?"

"We're doing this."

#top gun #top gun imagine #top gun fan fic #top gun fan fiction #top gun blurb #top gun maverick #top gun maverick imagine #top gun maverick fan fic #top gun maverick blurb #top gun maverick fan fiction #Pete Mitchell #Pete Mitchell imagine #Pete Mitchell fan fic #Pete mitchell fan fiction #Pete Mitchell x reader #Pete mitchell blurb #maverick #maverick blurb #maverick imagine #maverick fan fic #maverick fan fiction #maverick x reader

[shannonsketches]

ok but do you think ganondorf was actually prepared to go through with marrying ruto for the sacred stone before he learned that she was like 10. like would he fuck a fish is what im asking here. also whats his beef with the tree

Oh my god nonnie I was thinking about these scenes for my comic the other day, about him trying to acquire the stones through peaceful means and just lying to say he’s taking them on behalf of Hyrule, and just. God.

Obviously the deku tree knows he’s a liar, and Ganondorf knows when to fold his hand, so that conversation doesn’t last long. How’s he gonna stop a bug from getting into a tree? It’s over for Deku Tree. Ganondorf thinks the forest is weird anyway, he really doesn’t have any sympathy for the creepy tree children. He doesn’t really have beef with the tree, he’s just in the way.

But the Zora, right, he goes there and is like ‘hi zora king so sorry to bother you but I need the sapphire in the name of Hyrule you understand.’ And zora king’s like ‘damn I’d love to help you out but unfortunately it’s our tradition that it’s only to be given to someone our princess intends to marry’ and gan’s like ‘ahaha;;; okay that can’t be right surely you don’t entrust such an important artifact to the whims of a child’s heart’ and zk’s like ‘sorry man it’s the law. Nothing I can do’ and Gan’s like ‘you…you’re the king. You make the laws.’ and zk’s like ‘I mean you can ask her if you really want to marry her’ and Gan’s like ‘no, that’s not-’ and zk calls ruto in and he’s ‘honey Lord Ganondorf here wants to marry you’ ‘nope! No. No I do not’ and ruto’s like ‘EW he’s old and he looks weird’ and Gan’s like ‘I look weird?? Wait no I’m not doing this I’ll come back another time’ and Ruto’s like ‘good im gonna go play with lord jabu jabu’ and Gan’s like ‘wtf is lord jabu jabu’ and they explain their fish god they keep in the backyard and Gan’s like ‘mhm yep sure okay noted see you later’ and the rest is history

nothing will ever convince me the zora king in oot is not deliriously incompetent it WILL be a point of comedy any time I involve him in anything

#lozhc #oot eidolon #silly hours

[deadless-corpse]

December 26, 2023

I adjusted my shirt collar, it fit nicely, it looked nice. It was your typical business casual outfit. I tried to pretend like I wasn't stalling as I stared at the massive building, The Agency.

I took a deep breath and walked through the tinted glass doors. A secretary sat at the front, clicking through emails. I recognized her, Abigail, sometimes I'd bring donuts to work, I always let her get first pick. We didn't talk often but I've always respected her.

I cleared my throat, "Uhm, I'm here to get my license, may I speak with the man in charge?"

She didn't even look up from the screen. "Nope, I can put your name in if it's something important. If you want to get your license you'll have to take the exam after paying a fee and filling out some paperwork."

I sighed, thought something like this would happen. The man is always busy doing nothing. "Well can you tell Mr. M that Chad Harrison is alive and well and that Sunny-D is ready to get back to shining?"

Her head snapped up "Logan!? But you died!"

"Let's just say I got better." I smiled at her and she held her face in her hands. She was snickering but also sounded on the verge of tears.

"Just give me a second." She turned back towards her screen, pushed up her glasses and quickly emailed the boss.

We made small talk while waiting for a response the topic of kids came up eventually.

"I'm sorry we can stop talking about this if you want, I know what happened to your son..." She says apologetically and I quirked an eyebrow. What is she talking about? She's acting like he's dea-

Oh.

Ohh!

Of course she would think that! To them Bennett has been missing for 3 years and the police gave up on his case. Considering he was taken by the same people who killed me, it would only be logical to assume he's likely dead as well.

Now how do I go about explaining that my son is alive and well?

"Don't worry about it, Bennett's okay." I said carefully.

She gave an odd look, "But wasn't he...?" She trails off.

I haven't spoken to her much, I don't know if she's the type to run off and tell somebody what I did. I know she's a mother as well though, if anyone is a half decent parent they'd break the law for their kids. I gave her a serious expression.

"He was taken, not killed. I wasn't going to let my son be taken away from me." All I can do is hope she understands where I'm coming from.

She nodded once, an agreement to keep quiet between two parents. I sighed in relief. She perked up as she saw a new message in her inbox. It was him and it was about damn time as well.

"He says to send you right on up." She chirps, and I grinned.

Finally, my days of relying too heavily on others comes to an end. I can finally help my daughter find out who she is and provide for all my kids. Fucking finally!

Well...that is if the man will take me back...

I told her bye and that it was good to see her again before I made my way up to the elevator. I pressed the button to the top floor and then the close doors button. Deep breaths, Chad. Don't let your anticipation make you impatient.

I then realized I had been non-stop pressing the close doors button until they had finally shut. That's always a good sign.

I audibly groaned, I have too much energy. I have to be professional when I get up there. Stop! Pacing! In! The! Elevator!

I could have kissed the ground when I finally got out of that metal confining hell. I made my way to the back office, I saw a few people turning to others and whispering. Just say something if you want to say it! Ugh... I'm too riled up for this.

I put on a decent performance as I walked into the bosses office. "Hey! Christ, it's been forever!" I spoke to him like an old friend. Get him to remember why he liked having me around. Be nice, don't rock his shit again.

"I really can't believe you're alive, Mr. Harrison." He looked at me with the same awe and wonder as a child looking at an elephant in the zoo. It felt weird being looked at like an exhibit rather than a person.

"I can hardly believe it either, sir." I sat down in the seat across his desk.

"I take it you're ready to get into your old line of work?" He asked nonchalantly as he started filling out some paperwork he had on his desk. Maybe he was good at putting on a show of things too.

"Yes sir, if not for myself then for my kids." That was one thing I was completely serious about. Except I was partially doing this for Noir as well.

I'm tired of him risking getting arrested to provide for everyone. He says he doesn't care but I sure as hell do. I'm not going to see him behind bars as long as I'm alive.

"It's always been a bit of a mystery, Mr. Harrison. So if you don't mind me asking, what did happen to you that night?" He was just curious I'm sure. He doesn't really care what happened to me he just wants to know.

It was just me and Bennett, Noir had been out at an interview. I was watching his interview on TV, I always had taken a bit of pride in how far he had come. It was nice to watch him laugh and talk and answer questions. I wanted to know just as much as any viewer.

I heard something shatter, Bennett was crying. I stood up before I realized what I was doing. I began to run to his crib but I was stopped by a Blonde in the kitchen.

Fast. Fast. Fast.

Everything was going so fast. I was angry enough to kill them with my bare hands. No one was going to take my son from me. But they did. And I'll never forgive myself for letting it happen.

It was late, there wasn't much light to use. They got the jump on me and suddenly I'm lifted off the ground. I didn't have time to think about what had just happen. I look down and I'm bleeding like a fountain. A spike of earth jabbed through my stomach and then pulled out leaving me bleeding out on the ground.

"Th- That smarts." I grimaced and tried to pull myself back up.

I couldn't stand.

I couldn't stand.

I remember trying to crawl, with what strength I had in my arms I wanted to at least make an effort to save him. "Bennett! Don't worry buddy I-I I'll get you!" A boot into exposed flesh and I can hardly breathe.

They picked me up by the collar and grinned at me. "Thanks for babysitting but he's ours now." They dropped me back on the floor. I grasped at the gaping hole in my stomach and I wheezed. Behind her was Noir, in a stunned silence.

They left and Noir ran over to me. He was hysterical and I couldn't blame him. I tried to comfort him, tell him how much I cared with what little I had left in me. Blood loss makes your brain think in strange ways because I do remember thinking about how handsome he looked. I was bleeding out, I should have been thinking about that.

I could see the guilt and panic in his eyes, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. My vision was slowly going dim and black around the edges. Dying. I was dying.

It felt odd but sorta nice. Every bit of me was shutting down, losing my last bits of control. It was cold and warm at the same time. I could feel Noir's arms around me. I just wanted them to be okay. That was my family as far as I was concerned.

"Harrison."

Then it was all gone. Black, deep nothingness, feeling like I was swimming through an endless pool only to resurface three years later. Gasping awake in–

"Harrison!"

"Ah- Sorry. You were saying?" It happened again, those moments I get so lost in thought I lose sight of what's going on around me. Happened a lot after my parents died. I mean I watched them get blown up. That was definitely not the McDonald's they promised.

"What happened to you? Who killed you?" He pried. I hate this guy so much.

"It was.." I remembered what me and Noir talked about but still I didn't want to say it. "It was Noir... my old sidekick, yah'know? And the Belle's were with him too." It made my stomach churn just saying.

Noir is so sweet, he's hardly a villain. How could anyone be so stupid as to believe he would do something like that?! Fuck them, seriously. As a friend he was always doing some weird thing to help me out and as a partner he's been the most affectionate person I've ever been with.

How many people tell you you're their favorite person every night before you go to sleep?! Or! Or! Tackle hug you everytime you get home and threaten to kill anyone who harms you? Has anyone ever told you that even if the mask is hard to take off they'll always see who's underneath it? Hmmmm???? Don't think so.

He's a wonderful person, he just has a hard time realizing it.

"Ah... I see. That's what the everyone suspected. He made quite the show of 'trying to find the real killer.' Honestly though I don't know why if he was just going to revert right back to villainy."

You need your job, Chad. You have kids, Chad, you need your job.

"That's precisely why I need my job back. I want to be his nemesis and of course money never hurt anybody."

He gave a small chuckle, good.

"We never exactly fired you. We'll have to figure out the logistics but we'd be happy to work with, Sunny-D again." He gave a wink. I could vomit on his face.

"Sounds great, can't wait to be back on the field."

January 14, 2024

I walked out to the mailbox. I wasn't wearing anything special, just some shorts and a T-shirt. It was cold out but not bad. Noir begged me to put on a jacket, even offered me his cloak, but I was only going to be out for a minute or so.

I grabbed a few envelopes, a newspaper (who still reads those?), and a magazine. Walked back in, it was nice and warm. A bit warm for my liking but Noir was cold blooded or something so I didn't mess with the temperature.

"I came back alive!" I called out. I thought it was funny, he didn't.

"Oh shut up." Noir emerged from wherever the hell he was. You could never tell with him, I wouldn't be surprised if I found him hanging upside-down on the ceiling. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time he'd done it anyways.

"I don't mean anything by it, love." I set the mail down on whatever was closest to me and gave him a hug.

"I know..." He murmured quietly as he rest his head on my shoulder. "I just don't like thinking about it."

"I'm sorry, I just– I cope through humor." I tried to explain. I should really be more thoughtful. "I'll try not to do it again." I kissed him on the cheek – it always felt nice to be able to do that. "But hey, I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to kil–" I cleared my throat. "politely and democratically send me away if you ever want to get rid of me."

He gave a small laugh. "See! It is funny sometimes." I said with a grin.

"Stoppp!" I knew it was half heartedly said though.

I picked him up and he laughed and kicked around as I spinned him in the air. "Put me down you scandal!" He softly hit me on the arms.

"As you wish, my lord." I then proceeded to toss him on the couch. He screamed, more out of amusement than terror. I pounced on him and tickled him until he was weeping and yelling mercy.

Bennett and Cresent peaked around the corner in a bit of fright, I suppose Goon was used to this stuff already.

"What is you doin' to him, Daddy?" Bennett asked, it occurred to me that this might look a bit odd from an outside perspective. To a child it might look like I was doing something dangerous but to an adult...

"Torture!" Noir exclaimed dramatically.

Bennett gasped and I waved my arms in defense. "No! No. There's no torture going on here."

"I think they were just tickling each other." Cresent says, calmly.

"Yes! Thank you, it was just that." I sighed with relief. I'm so grateful that kid has an ounce of sense.

"What's tickling?" Bennett made a weird expression and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Essentially torture." Noir said, that little bastard!

Bennett gasped again and Cresent shook her head.

"No it's not, he's just being dramatic as usual." I explained with a groan.

Cresent took my side but a bit more politely. Regardless of who was correct though, somehow, Noir managed to convince the kids to all tackle and tickle me.

It was hell, in a really fun way. Goon ended up joining in on the chaos too. It was nice to be there with my family even if I couldn't breathe 90% of the time. After a while they all left me alone so I could catch my breath.

I couldn't quite remember where I had set the mail. I knew I had set it somewhere but I didn't really pay attention to where. After a while of searching, I finally asked Noir who pointed to where it was, in obviously plain sight. I faced palmed but thanked him and he laughed at me.

I picked it up and sorted through it. Not important, not important, magazine, newspaper, not impo- wait that's from the agency.

I ripped it open and there it was, an official document and my license down at the bottom. Work starts the week after next.

Yes!

YES!

"Cresent!" I called out for the girl, she'd want to see this for certain.

@vaporeon2010317 @boredgoon @sirlordevil @the-belle-siblings

#((I finally finished this)) #((writing is hard))

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

No bc Frank hitting Debbie was literally so upsetting

Like she loved her dad in the first seasons, and always thought he could change, and idk him hitting the person who once loved him the most made my heart break :((

ok hi hello hi i was trying to respond to this and then LIKE A LITTLE BITCH tumblr deleted it soooo yeah ik this isn’t relevant but i want to bitch about it so i’m bitching about it so sorry if this post isn’t my best it’s a remake kinda

ANYWAYS

i was already sad about this, but then you said that, and now i’m even sadder. like, “hitting the person who once loved him the most” 😭😭

frank and debbie are so fucking complex… i’m writing about them right now and when i post it i’ll link it to this but like… god. they’re one of the saddest duos in shameless, in my humble opinion.

debbie fucking loved frank so much. she cared for him so so fucking much. she made sure he was safe at night, she waited for him, she joked with him, checked on him, fucking took care of him more than he took care of her because at this point, she was parenting him more than he was parenting her and in return she got empty promises.

i am a firm believer that what set debbie on her season 4 downfall was 3x02. she had already lost hope in monica from 2x12 (and kinda 2x11 but not really), but she still had hope in frank. she knew he was a shitty, abusive alcoholic who would never change but she still waited for him, still prayed for his return, still let him into their house and let him sleep in her bed. but then he and his friends destroyed and pissed in her room, and frank destroyed her project (that he refused to help her with) and suddenly… she’s just changed. like, a part of her dies and she just goes fucking crazy on him.

i think that for every gallagher child there was a point in their life where they just officially lost hope, and that was debbie’s.

and then in season 6 their relationship is mended almost? like, they spend a lot of time together, he’s the only one she has at the moment, and they go to that weird-ass place with queenie together (i forgot what it’s called sorry LMAO). like there’s a moment before she’s gonna give birth to franny where she says, “no daddy, please. i’m scared. i want to go home” and i like sobbed because she’s his fucking daughter and i ASSUMED that they might have a bond or something after that but… nope!

in season 7 he hits her.

and it’s like… okay, that’s your sixteen year old daughter. the one who waited for you. the one who brought you a pillow every night. the one who loved you the most. the one who named her daughter after you because she loved you. she gave you everything and you gave her nothing.

it’s giving, “he takes what he pleases and offers nothing” (fiona gallagher, 3x07).

and if we’re going to talk about frank hitting his kids, what about ian also? i don’t want this post to be about every character but since we’re on the subject i’ve gotta bring it up. he’s hit ian multiple times, and he’s done it off screen before too, apparently. i don’t even wanna hear y’all say “i think frank was a good dad he just-” like no. yeah, he got abused growing up, and i get the cycle of abuse, fuck peggy gallagher, yeah, yeah. but you guys know that’s not an excuse… right? frank is still a piece of shit. he’s a drunk and an addict, as well as a narcissist. he neglected and abused all of his children. don’t even try.

fuck frank gallagher.

i can’t believe some of y’all think debbie is worse than frank is. unbelievable.

#shameless #debbie gallagher #frank gallagher #wow this is longer than i expected it to be #ian gallagher #fiona gallagher #debbie and frank #i have so much more to say about tnem #shameless us #shameless meta #meta #meta post #character analysis #kind of #not really #i just need tags lol #she named her fucking kid after him for christ’s sake #franny gallagher #frances gallagher

[these-conquered-woodlands]

a few incorrect quotes for the Gang™️

luna: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

-

harry, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

-

luna: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- hermione: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FRIENDS NIGHT OUT FOR ONCE?!

-

ginny: You don't need my blessing to go kiss neville. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing neville! luna: Nope. ginny: In that case, as the archbishop of luna's fully awakened and pining heart, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss neville right on the lips!

-

ron: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

-

ginny: Hermione said it's my turn with the brain cell. luna: Alright, square up.

-

hermione: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* ginny: Where did you get that? hermione: My pocket. ginny: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? hermione: Skillz.

-

harry: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-

ginny: *chokes on something* neville: Oh no, Ginny, don't die on us! ginny: *purple in the face* Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

-

hermione: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? neville: "Addict-ionary"? hermione: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better. neville: ...

-

luna: My gender is in a constant state of flux.

-

ginny: Shh, here comes Seamus! harry: Quick, Hermione, start talking about boring nerd stuff! hermione: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. harry : Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

-

hermione: Ron annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow. neville: There is nothing special about tomorrow. hermione: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

-

neville, watching harry and ron fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? hermione, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. neville: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three? hermione: Me.

-

ron: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points at his chest* harry: We have a cardigan? ron: A cardigan? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

-

hermione: Do you take constructive criticism? neville: Not without crying

-

hermione: Let’s write Harry a friendly letter, shall we? Dear... Darling... Dumbass...

-

neville: You have Crayons? luna : Yes, I have— neville: You're— how old are you? luna : Yes I am a grown woman and I have crayons, I have a box of emergency crayons in the medicine cabinet because everybody needs crayons sometimes, okay? Everybody needs crayons.

-

luna: Are you reading fan fiction? ron, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. luna: Oh, is it on AO3? ron: This is CNN.

-

harry: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

-

neville: This totally sucks, man. ron: This is horrible. neville: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news. ron: No, it’s not that, it’s Hermione. ron: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pain in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that little shit!

-

harry: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of the class and horrifying Neville and Hermione. snape: You just said it again. harry: I am not a role model.

-

ginny: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Ginny lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

#i agree with luna about the crayons tbh #harry potter #luna lovegood #ginny weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley #neville longbottom #golden trio #hp incorrect quotes #silver trio #nuna #romione

[tobiasdrake]

Chapter Vivia! I half expect him to spend the entire chapter lounging in the fireplace, and the whole thing is just one long Spectral Projection sequence.

Y'know, I didn't anticipate that Vivia would start us out with a dissertation on his life philosophy, but I probably should have. That's on me.

Vivia is a man with one foot in the grave. He's spiritually sensitive and his Forte is astral projection, during which he may encounter the souls of the departed. He has a different relationship with mortality than the rest of us do.

This place looks fucking haunted. Are we in Silent Hill right now?

I've said it before, but Vivia would hate to be a homunculus. Never make a homunculus of this man. Why would you do that to him?

Honestly, that's on you for climbing into an elevator in what was clearly a haunted spooker building. Nobody lives here but the undea--

...

Actually, I don't know if I can make that distinction in Kanai Ward.

Nobody lives here but predatory undea--

...

Ghosts. I'm talking about ghosts. This is a ghost house.

Vivia's plan is to hang out until we die.

It feels weird to play as him because. Like. I wanna be like, "Hopefully the lady in red has a better plan" but 'better' by whose definition, exactly? If Vivia doesn't care about escaping then. I guess. We're fine, then?

I feel bad for red-coat lady already. Imagine being trapped in an elevator and your only company is saying shit like, "It's fine. Death is coming to get us. Be happy."

Who even are you, lady? How did we get here?

I love you, Viv, but this is not helpful.

You and me both, man. This is why protagonists are the characters I'm often most critical of. If you don't like the story's main character, it becomes that much harder to enjoy the rest of it.

Well, I guess we're both fucked, then. This elevator has nothing for us to read and no life for you to observe. Sorry you got stuck with the one man in Kanai Ward more haunted than the fucking homunculi.

Oh shit, you were a nurse? Are you familiar with a girl named Alessa Gillespie? No reason. Just the vibe I get.

I still have no idea why we're here, and especially no idea why she's here. What are the odds we're talking to a ghost right now?

I would say the value of a life differs depending on context, myself. But there is also a value difference, person to person.

For instance, would I support executing Yomi for his crimes? That depends on context. I think he should be removed from power but I support rehabilitative justice over punitive justice. Being made to live a civilian life, no better than anyone else, is better than killing him.

But if Halara had snapped his neck in the midst of the heated Peacekeepers vs. Nocturnal Agency battle during chapter four, would I be the slightest bit bothered? Nope. Fucker was trying to kill us. The consequence of violence are what they are. Once you start shooting, you don't get to complain if you get shot.

And if I had to choose between Kurumi's life and Yomi's, I wouldn't even hesitate. That is a piss-easy decision to make. Does that mean Kurumi's life has more value than Yomi's? I dunno. But it does certainly mean that I value it more. Value is, after all, ultimately subjective.

When you say you "look at people", are you talking about haunting? Do you haunt people and analyze their lives

Also, if you are a ghost, did you die before the Blank Week or were you eaten by homunculi? Can you give me a first-hand account of the homunculus massacre? I'd be super interested in that.

Well, whether you're a ghost or a homunculus, you are killing that red and black color scheme.

Oooo, Ryo. An etymological neighbor to Ryu or "Dragon". I like you already, Ghost Lady!

You can also put a -ko on it to make Ryuko or Ryoko, The -ko suffix is a popular add-on for girls' names. It literally means "child" but is generally used for female names, demonstrating in a literal sense the way femininity and childhood are conflated in Japanese culture.

It's kinda like how -ette is used in some Western names. Like Paulette or Claudette or Jeanette. Stick on -ette on the end of it and it's an unmistakably female name.

So Ryuko or Ryoko basically mean "Dragon Girl". I bet most people reasonably versed in anime can think of a Ryuko or a Ryoko that fits that bill.

But Ryo over here gets to be a grown-ass dragon woman. And possibly deceased. Good for her!

Flashback time. Hopefully now we'll get some context on how we got here. And hey, if we've met before, then that improves the odds of Ryo being alive!

#master detective archives: rain code #drake plays rain code #vivia twilight

[theharlotofferelden]

Someone pretty popular in the dragon age fandom blocked me and even made a callout post about me back in the day for me saying that Cole getting a romance path with the minstrel girl Maryden, if you make certain choices, was in fact not paedophilia. Their reasoning was that because he was autistic coded he was not able to consent to a relationship and sex and that it was the same as having a relationship with a "literal child". Having autism does not mean you suddenly can't consent to a relationship and as an autistic person myself I told them as such but that was very "problematic" of me according to them. The DA fandom is just fucking wild at times.

I'm sorry you went through that, anon. Idk how common it is for the DA fandom to participate in callout posts these days, but in my experience I've seen TOO MANY in this particular fandom since 2014. It's just so unnecessary and just demonstrates that the person doing it doesn't know how to communicate with the person they're calling out and instead want to make their personal issues our fucking problems. Ugh.

RE: That Specific Sentiment About Cole -- Again, dunno how common it is these days, but this was an extremely common talking point back in 2014 that only seemed to get worse after Trespasser came out. And over the years I've come to view that talking point as a red flag, because it's specifically something TERFs are always pulling when it comes to trans autistic people.

More specifically: JK Rowling pulled out a bunch of random statistics about how many autistic women transitioned in the UK one year, with the implication being that autistic people aren't capable of making informed choices about their bodies and should have the choice stripped from them entirely. Which is why you'll occasionally see an allistic TERF have a weirdly informed opinion about Autism Speaks and ABA therapy. They know enough about the issues that affect autistic ppl because they not only have this ableist view of them as people, they also want to recruit them.

Anyways, by relation, you have people in the DA fandom claiming that a spirit with an adult body isn't capable of consenting to sex because they're autistic, and for some weird reason, autistic people aren't capable of making informed decisions about who they have sex with. Which is a very normal and informed opinion to have about fictional characters, let alone Actual Autistic People /s.

Over the years I've seen autistic people try to dismantle this viewpoint and be like "Hey, this is actually a really ableist thing to say about an autistic-coded character, and is actually really offensive and alienating to autistic people within the fandom". But as usual, none of these people actually care about autistic people (let alone ND ppl as a whole). They just want the brownie points for fighting against all the pedophiles in the Dragon Age fandom. Because the DA fandom is exactly the fandom predators gravitate towards, and not the ones that are specifically geared towards children. Nope, it's the fandom full of women, POC, and queer people that's a minefield of pedophiles /s.

All of that is annoying on it's own. But it also distracts a lot from how Weekes wrote Cole. Most of his "autistic" coding is in his speech patterns, not understanding social cues, lack of eye contact, and being overstimulated/having meltdowns. All of that is fine (imo anyway) until we get to the moment between Varric and Solas pushing the Inquisitor to decide for Cole what he should become: human or spirit?

My core problem with this has always been with the implications of how the "autistic coding" carries over between these choices. But analyzing this further would require me to replay DAI, and that's not on my radar atm.

What I will say is that the choice alone strikes me as Cole not having much agency in the situation. Which, if he's autistic-coded, is a big problem with how that quest was written.

#personal: replies #personal: meta #c: cole #dragon age: critical #sorry this got long #i have a lot of shit to say about this lmao

[crowtrobotx]

Let your followers love you and write us a ficlet of Karl trying to get Lottie to eat her least favorite food.

This is my first time posting one of these, pls be gentle lol. But thank you very much for sending this, and thank you for your patience! I am old and always tired. And sorry for any bad/weird formatting, I am having a Boomer Moment™️ on mobile and can’t figure out how to do anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beets Me

Characters: Karl Heisenberg, Original character (daughter)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, unless you count swearing and an old man negotiating with a child.

Word count: 1068

Humiliating.

That was the only word that came to mind - Karl Heisenberg was a Lord, a nigh indestructible and powerful demigod who instilled awe and terror in all who stumbled across his path. He could make life from death, had built machines the likes of which no one in world had seen or would ever see again, and for God’s sake he could wield a fucking lightning hammer. He had worked incredibly hard for all of these things, for his reputation, which made the fact that he was currently being bested by his own personal tiny tyrant all the more miserable.

“Lottie,” he called not for the first time, his tone even but with a twinge of desperation. His latest soldat was due to wake up soon, and he preferred to be present lest the stupid things felt the need to have a destructive existential crisis upon realizing they were decidedly not dead anymore. He searched about what passed as the living room, grimacing internally at all of the not-so-childproof items carelessly strewn about.

Is that a rusty bone saw— nope, better not think about it.

He’d already checked all of the kid’s usual hiding places, and it would have been a lie to say there wasn’t a twinge of panic beginning to worm its way up his throat. Most of the horrors that lurked outside and below couldn’t reach her here, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t leave of her own accord - and there was one person he knew he couldn’t stop, not until his army was finished. Not that he trusted a damn thing dearest Mother said, but she’d sworn she wouldn’t take Lottie - she wasn’t a suitable vessel, she’d made that abundantly and infuriatingly clear.

At last, two little grey-blue eyes appeared from beneath a milk crate stashed under one of the many workbenches that littered the factory. Karl quirked a brow, amusement and relief playing on his lips. After a small squeak of alarm, Lottie disappeared just as quickly back into the shadows - as if it would change the fact that she’d been undeniably caught.

Karl snorted, his knees cracking in protest when he begrudgingly knelt to her level. It was fortunate she was cute - the frankly embarrassing amount of shenanigans she got away with made him feel ridiculous. He barely remembered his own father but he knew that he sure as shit wouldn’t have taken this lying down from his own son. Lucky Lottie, he wasn’t his father. He tossed his hat aside and ran a hand through his wiry hair, waiting for her to reappear.

And reappear she did, squishing her nose up against the plastic to get a better view. Stifling a laugh when he saw the rebellious and familiar expression his daughter boasted, Karl knocked politely on the top of the crate. “Anybody home?”

“No.”

“No? Then who’s talkin’?”

A pause. “…Not Lottie, that’s for sure”

Heisenberg sighed, removing his trademark glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Well, Not Lottie, you still have to eat dinner, I’m afraid. I’m running behind already and don’t have time for hide and seek right now.”

The little demon glared out in defiance from the baby jail of her own design. “I hate beets.”

Ah. So she’d seen the cans he’d set on the counter earlier in the day. Observant.

“Yeah, not my favorite either,” he conceded, “but Duke ain’t due back here until tomorrow and it’s dark out. I don’t want to go stomping out there to shake down the village grocer just because you’re being picky.”

Not that he hadn’t been conned into doing that before. Not that there hadn’t been at least three separate occasions where he’d found himself crossing the ancient bridge that separated the Heisenberg Factory from the rest of town and audibly yelled “What the fuck am I doing” to no one in particular. Not that he hadn’t always found it completely worthwhile to see Lottie’s little face light up when he returned with a bag of goodies for the two of them.

“It’s not just beets, y’know,” he attempted to reason with her. “I’m not a monster. There’s some, uh…. Meat of some sort, too.”

Lottie groaned. “But what if the beets touch everything else! They’ll ruin it! Can’t you call the supersized bi—”

“No, absolutely not,” the Lord had never answered a question so quickly in his life. “Although it would be pretty funny to piss her off with a takeout order from those ridiculous kitchens of hers, I think I got on her last mega nerve at the meeting yesterday and she might actually try to kill me this time. Then what’d you do? You might have to live with her. And wear dresses.”

Lottie gasped in horror.

They sat in silence for a moment after, clearly at a standstill. The ambient noises of the factory were much fainter here, amounting to little more than distant humming. Karl could practically hear the gears in that little head of hers overheating while she tried to think of a way out of Beet Hell.

“I’ll tell you what,” he said at last, “you suffer through this hideous torment tonight, and I’ll make it up to you with extra good stuff from the Duke tomorrow. Sound good?” He threw in a good natured wink for added effect.

Lottie drummed her fingers on the floor, her nose scrunching while she considered the offer. “Five donuts this time,” she declared firmly.

“Three,” Karl countered.

“Four.”

“Three and I’ll throw in that new bright ass pink screwdriver you were eyeing last time.”

“Hmm,” Lottie was making an obvious show of trying to sustain the suspense. “I dunno… Maybe… I guess we have a deal.”

“Perfect,” Karl grinned. “I’d shake your hand but you’d have to come out for that.”

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’,” she grumbled, the sounds of shuffling now audible from beneath the crate.

Karl rose with a grunt, satisfied with the negotiations. He returned his shades to their proper place and glanced at the grimy old clock that hung sadly in his makeshift living quarters, relieved to see that he still had plenty of time to feed the little gremlin and get back down into the bowels of the factory.

He hadn’t made it but two steps toward the kitchen when he heard an uncertain voice call out from behind.

“Papa?”

“Yes, princess?”

“I think I’m stuck.”

#I can’t believe I’m putting this in the tags I have truly lost my mind #my mediocre writing #karl heisenberg #resident evil village

[liennalei]

What ruins the RTC revival

So i’ve been brainrotting over RTC these last weeks and. watched both bootlegs. while the original holds a dear place in my heart, the revival simply isnt as good. So Im going to rewatch it and write down the reasons why. 

DISCLAIMER: LONG POST

AN: please watch the show before reading this. it wont make sense otherwise.

Also. R! is used to talk about the revival character. Likewise, O! is used to talk about the original character. Cause holy shit they are completely different characters.

1. Humanoid Karnak. i refuse to elaborate. 

2. “Virgil shall play— the bass”. I loved that delivery, and now it’s gone

3. When explaining the rules about the armrest, Karnak goes a bit too fast, which ruins the comedy for me

4. “I assure you, none of the calls you are about to receive will have life altering consequences (pause. looks down) except for one of you”. THE PAUSE IS GONE. THE PAUSE WAS WHAT MADE IT FUNNY.

5. THE CHOIR FACES THE PUBLIC. 

I will elaborate. In the original version, the choir is on the other side of the stage, facing backwards, and only face the public when dead. This helps establish that the stage is the afterlife. THIS VERSION DOESNT DO THAT. 

6. R!Mischa looks old. The entire cast looks old, but R!Mischa looks like a 40 year old. Thats a grown ass man sir.

7. No Penny foreshadowing in the newspaper.

8. The segment of "something doesnt feel quite right–" is gone. I loved that segment. I feel its fundamental to introducing us to the characters.

9. No friendly banter between Ocean and Noel during the song :(

10. RICKY ISNT SUPPOSED TO SING YET. Even if hes already dead, the others arent supposed to know he can already talk.

11. On the subject of R!Ricky. The crutches are gone. What the fuck. I know why but i hate why.

12. R!Ocean is the one asking "where are we?". And its not scared, its not confused, its just... a question. O!Constance's delivery is far better.

13.

DEMOCRACY ROCKS!

I hate this delivery. R!Ocean's "Democracy rocks!" was perfect: preppy, upbeat... this singy-songy democracy rocks sucks. O!Ocean wouldve never.

14. I hate R!Ocean. I refuse to elaborate.

Sike! I will. She's doesnt look the "overachiever golden girl" part. I dont mean her looks, i mean her attitude– she seems normal. She seems like a normal girl, shes not even half as annoying! Thats what made O!Ocean great– her being annoying yet lovable!

15. Mischa doesnt grab his crotch :(

Okay i must elaborate. The crotch grabbing may seem weird but its part of the gangsta persona. The psoture this Mischa adopts is simply... not it.

16. That was emasculating...

After the "i am naked child in the wilderness" introduction, O!Mischa says "that was whack". Not emasculating. Hes surprised that hes said that, but he doesnt say that it doesnt represent him. He knows he is vulnerable, and he embraces it. R!Mischa seems embarrassed of this side of him. WHICH IS NOT MY DEAR MISCHA.

17. Instead of giving the discourse, Ricky simply says "Level up". There is no character.

18. On the topic. The choir realises he can speak only now. There is no "The twilight zone" moment, no "It certainly appears that way. Badass" moment. Fuck this.

Sidenote: we're at the 13 min mark

19. R!Jane Doe is less autistic coded. Shes just creepy. Inherently bad.

20. "Playing games where people"s lives are on the table is

Super illegal"

This delivery makes no sense. Why would she say it like that. Why would she move her hips alongside that line.

21. This monologue's delivery is shit. It reads like a comedic monologue, and not a "debate team" monologue.

22. The improv thing. Why would you add that. I mean i know why but why.

23. "IT TAKES TWO WINGS TO FLY–" R!Ocean is a theatre kid in the bad way. O!Ocean was a debate team kid. O!Ocean was better and more in line with the character

24. Instead of singing the "Oh nooOOOooO" she says "Nope. Nope." Why. Oh, I know why!

25. This Ocean can't sing. Im sorry. No offence, but this actress isn't fit for this role. Her voice doesnt adjust to Ocean's registry.

26. Instead of the euphoric "WHAT A RUSH" we get a full of soberbia "What a rush~". R!Ocean is meaner.

I have to note R!Constance is one of the few good things in here. Her delivery is great and her dialogue is good.

27. "And then i got to get on that ride. Thanks" got replaced with a line that makes Ricky seem like an incel

Okay i know that ricky IS horny but hes NOT an incel. "No one wants to make out with the tambourine guy". O!Ricky wouldnt complain about that. He complained about riding the cyclone and DYING.

28. Instead of trying to get a hug, Jane tries to offer up her doll. I just loved that part :( it gives her character.

R!Noel is also good. Not as good as O!Noel, but good. The nativity scene is awkward, but it fits. So im not counting that.

And the transition from Noel to Monique is amazing.

29. But, as much as I like this Noel's acting... the singing is mediocre. It sounds like a karaoke performance. It looks like a karaoke performance. It feels like a karaoke performance.

Its been half an hour. I need help.

31. The dance during "THAT FUCKED UP GIIIIIIIIIIRL" changes and its worse.

32. Again, I hate R!Ocean

33. Every Story's Got a Lesson. Again, she cant sing.

34. The porno bit is gone. It gave Ricky some depth.

35. The Saw V bit is gone too. It was so funny :(

36. The improv thing..... sucks. Constance lets to, and she is supposed to be the restrained girl until her song. It breaks the character. It ruins the surprise.

37. The transition to Mischa's turn is rough as fuck

38. Mischa's backstory here makes him seem like an asshole. The original was this sad story, this one is just angry. Its reductive.

39. He says "Mostly positive feedback" as a bad thing, says it /neg. Doubting. O!Mischa was amazed, loving, said it /pos.

40. It was HILARIOUS when he said "Good for hot dog (raises index, as in "1"), but not so good for Ukraine (raises middle finger too, as in "2") so THANK YOU FOR KILLING MY MOTHER (leaves middle finger up)". GUESS WHAT. THATS GONE AS WELL.

41. The pause before "Autotune will never die" is gone too

42. To put it simply, R!Mischa didnt slay. O!Mischa slayed.

43. Why does Ricky have a box in his head. What the fuck. I know why but why.

44. It takes too fucking long for Mischa to get his. Uh. Thingy around the waist (fajín in spanish).

45. The Talia projection on the sheet/skirts is bad. Im sorry. Its just bad. Not as creative, not as perfectly-timed...

46. I miss the bit where Talia appears in Mischa's chest. As if it were his heart. It was so emotional yo

47. The dubstep part is not as good. I loved the circle with the fortnite dance.

48. Mischa is off tune by the end of the song

49. THE PART WHERE OCEAN IS SPED UP IS GONE.

50. The transition to Ricky is shit. Its just "yo why dont you go next"

51. R!Ricky not smooth. Ocean is weak to her knees for no reason.

52. The backstory changes for no reason???? Hes not disabled he just wont speak????? There truly was no need.

I'll admit it: this man Can Dance

53. UNDERWEAR JUMPSCARE. WHAT THE FUCK.

54. R!Ricky is less autistic coded. Hes just WEIRD. Inherently bad.

55. The space jesus line is delivered badly

56. R!Jane Doe doesnt fly.

Thats my only complaint, and its justifiable. R!Jane Doe is one of the few things done right here.

57. The New Birthday Song is less awkward in the beginning. Less like theyre making it up on the spot and more like they all knew it already.

58. I just realised the bit of LOVE CONQUERS ALL IS GONE.

59. Retroactively, NO PART OF "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT WOULDVE HAPPENED IF TALIA AND MISCHA HAD MET?" . That was so poetic,,,,,, and now its gone,,,,,,

60. Ocean's breakdown isnt much of a breakdown.

R!Constance. Wow. I love her. She is the only other good thing in here.

61. I HATE R!Ocean

62. R!Ocean doesnt elaborate on why it shouldnt be her. She isnt self aware as the original.

63. The final montage doesnt show us her entire life. Sure, it shows her POV, but theres no old Penny.

64. Karnak breaks and talks normally afterwards.

65. They dont smile profoundly as they disappear. Thats the saddest change.

My final thoughts

It is a great show. This is not a decent show. Most of the songs sound off, except for Sugar Cloud and The Ballad of Jane Doe, and the acting is mediocre at best. 

Maybe it’s not as bad. Maybe the original is so good that it simply can’t measure up to it. 

Heck, maybe i’m conditioned after having watched it thousands of times.  Hate and love are two sides of the same coin: perhaps, had i not loved the original so much, i wouldn’t have hated this rendition as profusely. 

Regardless, I did not like the Blue Bridge version. 

Your lucky number is 7. Be sure to Ride the Cyclone. 

#rtc #ride the cyclone #karnak #ocean o'connell rosenberg #constance blackwood #mischa bachinski #noel gruber #ricky potts #rant #Im sorry for the long post but i simply love this show too much #rtc fans you shall be fed today

[elysiuminfra]

Alright tell me your complaints about the Jekyll and Hyde fanbase, because if you don't my brain is going to subconsciously project mine on you since you mentioned you had them, and that's not very nice. I want to hear your actual thoughts

OH BOY i have a lot of them. i dont think they're necessarily controversial tbh but i do have quite a bit.

my biggest complaint is the woobification of hyde. he's a grown man. he's a grown man that murders someone, and feels good about it. he drinks and has sex (probably) and does all sorts of things. he's not a baby, he's not a chaotic gremlin, he's a grown ass man!!! i also dont like it when ppl liken him to a child/give him child-like characteristics/make him too short. its weird imo. i dont like it. i think ppl should treat hyde like an adult with agency who's responsible for his own terrible actions instead of going oh woe is hyde / he's just a baby or whatever (and tbh i blame tgs a lot for this. no hate towards sabrina i just dont like that hyde is seen as "cutesy" in canon. i think that man doesnt shave his [censored])

the insistence that jekyll and hyde is about good/evil, or that jekyll is secretly bad and hyde is good/vice versa. jekyll sucks, but hyde isn't any better, the end. i don't think jekyll is a good person but he's not like, irredeemable i guess. he just sucks. he just uses hyde as an excuse to kill a guy. fuck alot. do cocaine. i mean who doesn't wanna go nuts sometimes. he can be self destructive as a treat if he wants

that jekyll and hyde are completely separate people. once again i blame tgs for this (sorry sabrina) which is like. its not the point of the story i guess. im a strickler for keeping the original themes, though, so that's just me. but also what comes with that is ppl shipping the two which i just. nope. nope!! i cant do it. in my mind's eye jekyll and hyde, though there is a degree of separation at the end of the story, are the same person. its weird and i dont like it. its only made worse when ppl woobify hyde/make him much younger. it genuinely makes me gag like stop that!!! stop it!!! :(

i dont like the musical. i just dont. im sorry to musical fans everywhere but i dont like it. :( please dont get mad at me for this. i will give them this bring on the men does go hard as fuck though (also anthony warlow's voice. hot damn)

i also dont like tgs as much. i just have issues with the writing (bc once again i love the original book too much) and also utterson isnt even there :( this also brings me into my next point is that UTTERSON!!!! he's funny and lovable and not enough ppl like him and just ignore him in favor of jekyll/hyde or lanyon (once again tgs) and im like :( no.... please....... he's funny and i like him

i think tgs is a fine enough story on its own, putting it nicely at least, but i dont like that it's greatly influenced a lot of ppl's perception of the original story. and this is coming from a former fan. it's led a lot of ppl to woobify hyde/ignore utterson/act like jekyll and hyde are separate/etc etc. just a lot of stuff that goes against the original.

idk what else to put here tbh i probably have more but cant think of any rn. i just think that we need more nuance in our discussions of these characters, shouldn't ignore certain unfavorable facets, and be open to criticism of media we enjoy. and we should also treat grown men like grown men. and be nice to eachother i guess. peace and love.

#answers #jekyll and hyde #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #btw i noticed your tags on a previous post and YES it is shayfer james. i saw that comment. i see everything #also thank u for liking a bunch of my stuff and sending me an ask <3 i appreciate it

[joshscrookednipple]

Cupid Screwed Up: chapter 1

Summary: What happens when two rivals who chants even be in the same room together get paired up as soul mates for the rest of their lives..one thing they do know is that cupid screwed up.

Pairing: Josh Kiszka/female OC

word count: 2,300

Warnings: Language, Angst, Blood, kinda cringy writing.

this is the first chapter and the longest fic i’ve ever written!! edits will probably be made soon!!

there are three things you need to know before you read this.

1- C.U.P.I.D is a world renowned matchmaking company, and to actually matter in society you have to be paired with your match…sound familiar?

2- i was not the one who named my cat Clawdia, she named herself. don’t ask questions about it.

and probably the last and most important thing you must know..

3- i. hate. Joshua. Kiszka.

why do i hate him you may ask?

how much time do you have?

Josh Kiszka has been determined to make my life a living hell since the eighth grade, we are rivals in every sense of the word. i got a 100% on a test. he got a 101% (how is that possible..i have no clue. i’m convinced Ms. Harrison had a twisted up crush on him)

i get a date to prom he gets 2

i get sick with the flu, he gets pneumonia and gets hospitalized

the nerve of that motherfucker.

the point is he always has to one up me, and now he’s touring the world with his band great value fleet (greta van fleet but i think my name fits it better) with his two brothers who aren’t much better than him and his youngest brothers best friend, Danny Wagner, who is objectively the best and only tolerable person on that band.

Josh loves to rub his band in my face like the time he-

“TARAAAA OH MY GOD TARA”

i’m snapped out of my thoughts by the shrieking voice that belongs to no other than my roommate maggie. me and maggie have a weird dynamic. by that i mean she annoys the living shit out of me and i hide anywhere i can to avoid speaking to her.

Maggie bounds into my room and jumps on my bed which coincidentally knocks off my colored pencils i was using to color in a sketch i was working on, which i quickly slip into my folder to avoid any teasing from my worse and more obnoxious half.

“Tara i got my match!”

“Let’s hope it’s perscription sedatives” i mumble hardly loud enough that you had to be really listening to hear what i said.

“what?”

“nothing, who is it?”

that question clearly makes her excited because she sits up and slaps her hands on her knees in a child like sense.

“so you know the band greta van fleet?”

i roll my eyes.

“unfortunately”

“well i got paired with Sam Kiszka!!” she practically screams as she shoves her phone into my face with a screen that reads.

Pairing: Sam Kiszka.

great. this is absolutely fabulous. if it wasn’t bad enough having to see their band every time i open any fucking social media app, now i’ll be FORCED to interact with them. why couldn’t she be paired with Danny. he’s nice and calm. sam on the other hand is the equivalent to a drugged up hamster who was just fed three monster drinks.

“that’s so..great” i give her a forced smile and flip my phone over hoping that maybe a notification from C.U.P.I.D was blessing my phones presence.

instead all i got was a message from team snapchat.

I’m 23 years old and probably the only one 23 year old to not have been matched yet, and trust me i’m reminded of it.

at family gatherings “oh you’ll get your match eventually, you’ve always been a late bloomer”

at parties “sorry you can’t come in, only people who’ve gotten matches can”

at the grocery store when people see that i don’t have the gold plated ring on my finger. they refused me my discount for my goldfish. i was really looking forward to eating those.

maggie falls back on my bed and smiles to herself and rests her feet in my lap to which i notice she’s wearing my wool socks, and my grey sweatpants, at least she’s wearing her sweater. wait. nope that’s the sweater she got me for christmas last year. i really need a padlock on my closet. I stand up with my notebook and place it on my cluttered bedside triable before bending down to pick up my colored pencils.

“i invited him and his brothers over tonight” she hums staring up at the ceiling.

i freeze and drop the colored pencils.

“you. what?”

“i invited them over” she repeats as she sits up crossing her legs over one another “really you should thank me, im really the only person you interact with”

“that’s because i’m forced to interact with you mags.” i state before recollecting the colored pencils and placing them in a glass jar by my notebook and turn back to look at her “plus i also have to study for my midterms, you know this.”

“come on you can’t hide from them forever!! i know you left Frakenmuth because of them, but it’s time to make amends”

i huff and shake my head “i didn’t leave because of them, they’re just the reason i never wanted to come back.”

“and look where you are, back at Frankenmuth! see everything happens for a reason”

it’s true i left to pursue a career in digital art, but after that ship sank i had no choice to move back. i moved back when i got offered a internship with an amazing cartoon artist who happened to be only two years older than me. his name is Dylan and for a quarter of my life i had a huge crush on him, and he coincidentally doesn’t have a match either.

i choose to ignore her as my cat, clawdia comes strutting in and rubs her head against my feet. i smile and pick her up cradling her like she was my new born baby, which in a way she was. not the new born part though.

Maggie rolls her eyes and sits up “well they’re coming in two hours so put on something presentable, and try not to embarrass me”

“anything for you, your majesty” i give a dramatic bow as she leaves and closes my door. i look down at Clawdia with my hands on my hips.

“what should i wear, clawdia?”

she however is not much help because all she does is meow before propping her self onto my pillow before drifting off into one of her many naps of the day.

i sit on my bed and stare at my closet, i usually wear the same four articles of clothing everyday, it’s either my mom jeans that make my ass look spectacular or my black leggings, and a long sleeved form fitting V-neck and a state of michigan crew-neck. i’m assuming neither of those things will live up to maggie’s standards but i honestly don’t care. i pull on my faded mom jeans with my crew neck before pulling on warm toned wool socks and my Boston birkenstocks. good enough.

i turn and look at myself in the mirror before shifting my eyes to the messy knot that’s tied up on the top of my head. my hair is what you would describe as in between wavy and curly, never quite one or the other. i grab my brown translucent claw lip before skillfully (or so i like to think) putting it in my hair and pulling a few stray strands out. i settle for some mascara and chapstick before i hear the door open and the sound of four pairs of feet walk into our apartment.

i hear a murmur of greetings as i walk out and my breath catches in my throat when i see him. Josh definitely grew into his unruly hair, with it being once again shaved off at the sides. he always grew some facial hair, which usually is a turn off for me but for him..he definitely makes it work. but all of that doesn’t change the burning hatred i have towards him.

Tara interrupts my train of thought by dragging me over to the boys.

“This is my roommate Tara, Tara this is josh, sam, ja-“

she’s cut off by the cocky voice that sounds exactly identical to his twin brothers. jake motherfucking kiszka. “we’ve met”

jake is a cocky son of a bitch, not as much as his other half, but very very close. he had teamed up with josh in highschool to get me voted out of being prom queen. just because i accidentally broke his pencil.

i give him a tight lipped smile before i turn and see danny’s warm eyes and my face lights up.

“hey bunny” he speaks before giving me a hug

i had gotten that nickname when i refused to dissect a bunny in my freshman year biology class and made Danny do it for me.

i loop my arms around his tires and smile into his chest before mumbling just loud enough so only he could hear “why couldn’t you and sam just have came, why did you have to bring dumb and dumber”

he lets out a quiet laugh before letting go and i turn to look for maggie only to see she was clinging to sams side throwing her head back in laughter to something he said. gross. i pad my way to the couch and much to my distaste josh follows me and sits on the other side of the couch.

“so, tara have you gotten a match yet?”

“Have you”

“That’s not my question”

i roll my eyes and cross my arms. josh has also never been matched, which leaves millions of fan girls to believe they’re his possible match.

before i could respond jake and sam and danny join us

“so tara” sam starts “how’s the- what do you do- coloring?”

“i work as a intern at a illustrators office”

“so coloring” josh smiles smugly and tilts his head

i’m not even going to argue with him. nope. not happening.

instead i slam my cup down on the coffee table and go to my room before slamming the door

sam looks at maggie in confusion “what was that about”

tara sighs and shakes her head “she’s been acting different lately”

josh, being the genius he is pushes himself off the couch “i’ll go check on her”

and he did exactly that. he goes to my room right when i’m pulling down my pants and i’m left in light yellow cotton underwear with the word “wednesday” in light pink writing across the back and my crew neck

“actually it’s saturday bunny”

i scream and quickly pull on cotton shorts to try to preserve as much modesty as i possibly can and turn around as i see him roaming around my room, searching and touching everything like he’s fucking inspector gadget.

“get the hell out of my room Joshua” i say pushing on his chest in an attempt to get him out of the room. this back fires when he pushes me back into a wall and smirks down at me.

“bunny this is why you don’t have a match”

i clench my fists as i look up at him “neither do you dumbass”

he rolls his eyes at that and pinches my chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilts my head up so i can get a perfect view of his eyes.

“but unlike you bunny” he starts “people would pay their lives to fuck me and you..well you probably have to pay a guy to even get close to you”

i don’t remember what happened next, all i remember is my hand colliding across his cheek and my silver ring on my index finger cutting his cheek causing a trickle of blood flowing down his cheek.

i freeze and i’ll never forget that look in his eyes..but i’m not going to get him win. so did something completely stupid and i run my thumb along the trickle of blood and put it between his parted lips and to my surprise he actually starts sucking it, god his lips are so soft.

my cheeks are flushed pink as he pulls away and he smirks “do i make you nervous bunny”

“get. out.”

he throws me a shit eating grin before leaving and slamming the door and that’s when the tears are about to start falling when i hear another knock and i throw the door open

“Josh i said get the-“

but it’s not josh behind the door. it’s Jake. what the hell?

“i uhm-“ he starts “i heard what josh said- and i just wanted to apologize”

i roll my eyes and start closing the door but he puts his hand flat on the door to stop me. “just listen to me Tara- in highschool i was just trying to be cool- i shouldn’t have said those things. you’re not worthless or-“

“jake” i interrupt him “i’m appreciate it but please go, we can talk later okay?”

he sighs and nods before leaving and i turn out my light after closing my door and i plug my phone in when i hear a notification. THE notification. i quickly open my phone and see the notification from cupid

C.U.P.I.D

Hello! you have been successfully paired with your perfect match, you will meet up with your significant other at 7:30 pm december 1st at Honey B’s Eatery. down below is your perfect match.

Maybe it’s a NFL player.

Or a professional chef.

Or maybe-

Oh.

Oh god no.

Pairing: Joshua Kiszka

little did i know that on the other side of Frankenmuth josh was in his bathroom after a particularly messy one night stand, leaning against the wall, looking at his phone with the same exact notification but with her name on it.

and for the first time in history they were thinking the same exact thought.

Cupid.

Screwed.

Up.

#danny wagner #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #gvf fic #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #josh kiszka fic #gvf fanfiction #fan fic related #fanfiction

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Get to know me :) In a very detailed manner and all of this totally unnecessary and unneeded

(I found these random questions/"get to know me" thingies from Pinterest and left out a few things) I just wanted to do this because I'm hella bored and definitely shouldn't be studying

Definitely not

First name: Guess 📚

Middle name: Maria

Nickname: My friends call me Grandma, Gran and gran-gran.

Age: 16 soon seventeen omg

Height: 165.5 cm

Birthday: 31 of July

Zodiac sign: I'm a Leo ♌

Sexuality: Pan 🍳

Fave color: light pink, light purple and dark green

Fave animal/s: dogs and cats, foxes. Red pandas are cool too and reindeers. Oh oh and turtles

Pets: three dogs and four cats (in two different places tho)

Shoe size: 38-39 EU

Hair color: dark red

How long is your hair: down to my shoulders

Eye color: blue green brown ish something I really don't know, they're weird. They like often change colors weirdly idk what's up with them. So, I usually stick with saying they're green

Do you have glasses: I do 🤓

Any siblings: half big sister and half big brother, so technically one right?

Where are you from: That there is a mystery 🌎, unless you're fucking Sherlock, or another fictional detective, or a stalker

Last dream: A nightmare of my grandma trying to kill our whole family

Fave book/s: One of the harry potters and heart stoppers. Also I love this Norse mythology book I have

Last book you bought: Loki: where the mischief lies

Favorite hobby/hobbies: writing and crochet 🧶. Also I really like DND 🎲

Favorite game: Sims 4

Fave song/s: We made it - Louis Tomlinson, Hated - YOUNGBLUD, Call your mom - Noah Kahan and Boy in the bubble - Alec Benjamin (I'm sorry I couldn't pick just one)

Favorite artist/s: Louis Tomlinson (he's mainly on my play list) and I also like Harry styles

Last song you listened to: Family line - Conan Gray

Fave movie: Harry Potter Goblet of fire, I don't really watch movies 🎥

Religion: I'm a Christian, like I belong in the church but I don't really believe into anything, but I respect everyone who does <3

Have you been to the hospital: A lot when I was a child, last time was because of my knees

Ever gotten in trouble with the law: Nope

Met any celebrities: I've met a few YouTubers, does that count?

Baths or showers: Showers. Definitely showers 🚿

What color socks are you wearing: white with light purple stripes at the top

Would you like to be famous: not really no

How many pillows do you sleep with: Two, well one the other one just is kinda there but it's never under my head, it's to prop the other one up

Do you own stuffed animals: I do 🧸

If you do, how many: Six, can't sleep without one of them (it's a bunny). I lied there's seven

What position do you sleep in: The Superman position, y'know? 🦸‍♂️

What do you eat for breakfast: I don't eat breakfast, sometimes coffee though, coffee with oat milk is the best

Ever tried archery: I actually have, was my hobby for a year or something, spoiler alert; wasn't very good at it 🏹

Ever fired a gun: Nope and won't

Favorite clean word: fluffy, it's nice to say

Favorite curse word: Fuck, I say that way too much someone help me

Longest you've been without sleep: 23 hours

Have any scars: I do, a surgery scar on my knee, one on my upper lip from my teeth going through it, small one in the corner of my eyes, a lot on my knees from falling down as a kid so much, and then some others

Are you a good liar: I think I am

Can you do any accents (besides your own): Not really and I don't have that much of an accent, I think

What is your personality type: from the 16 personalities INFJ-T 🌛

Can you curl your tongue: I can, I can also do the flower thingy

Left or right handed: right handed

Are you scared of spiders: Sort of, I don't mind them as long as they're not near me

Favorite food: lasagna and tortillas

Are you a clean or a messy person: Messy but in an organized way 📦

Most used phrase: "No shit Sherlock" "no wayyy" "just...why?"

Most used word: Probably some curse word... Or "what" "why"

Do you suck or bite lollipops: Bite 😬

Do you talk to yourself: all the freaking time

Do you sing to yourself: I do, everytime I listen to music alone 😶‍🌫️

Are you a good singer: I'd like to say that I am, but I don't actually know

Biggest fear: someone murdering me (during the night with a knife), dislocating my knee, or any other part that can be dislocated (it hurts so fucking much, cannot recommend)

Can you name all the states: Maybe probably, haven't tried

Favorite school subject: Psychology or English 📖

Least favorite school subject: MATH, and chemistry, physics is sorta alright but I don't like the math part

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

Have you been scuba diving: Nope, probably never will go 🤿 deep waters scare me

What makes you nervous: Literally everything

Are you scared of the dark: not anymore, unless it's outside, sometimes it's scary inside too, but not too often

Do you correct people if they make mistakes: Sometimes but not to be mean to them, but not like minor mistakes, unless I wanna annoy someone

Are you ticklish: Not really 🪶

Have you been in a position of authority: I've been a scout leader for the past three years, can't do it anymore tho, does that count?

Have you ever drank underage: Once because my sister forced me to, A glass of champagne how rebellious of me

Ever done drugs: Nope

Ever smoked anything: Nope x2

How many piercings do you have: I have earrings and snake bites 🐍

How fast can you type: Somewhat fast, I'm faster on my phone than on a computer

Are you a fast learner: Depends on the subject, but usually yes

Can you roll your R's: No I cannot 🐐

Do you keep a journal: Every now and then, I'm not very consistent

Do you like your age: ✨Sweet sixteen✨ It's fine, I don't really care I'd honestly rather be older ⚰️

Do you like your name: I think it's very pretty, I used to hate it tho when I was young (still kinda do, most of the time). It's fine but I just don't like using it with people

How did you get your name: From my mom and dad lol. No it "tells a story" and it suits well for English which my mom wanted, it's somewhat rare here where I live. With the spelling I have

Dream job: I have zero clue 🔎

What was your first job: A week at a daycare. But my first actual job (something I got paid for) was in a coffee shop for a summer

What places have you worked in: In a daycare and a preschool and two summers in that cafe, never going back there it was horrible

Last show you watched: Chicago med 🩺

Last show you finished: What we do in the shadows

Favorite show ever: Big bang theory, Chicago med and 911. Oh, heartstopper :)

What is your earliest memory: Sitting on a dresser and my dad telling me to wait for a bit, or being on my mum's shoulders while she was doing something outside (I'm not sure which one is first)

Happiest memory: Moving away, getting into the school I wanted with good grades

When did you start this blog: May-June 2022

When did you start writing fanfic: January 2022 (Rhe next few ones a writing related because they were in this one list of questions I found)

What was your first fic: Fred Weasley/reader definitely not with a self insert *cough cough.

How do you come up with ideas for writing: They just come up when I try to sleep, or am doing something random, or something happens so I just write it out. I hate brain storming with all my heart because nothing good comes up when I try

What character/s do you enjoy writing the most: Sirius and Remus <3, but lately I've fallen in love with Percy and Oliver and starchaser is always fun to write

What character do you not enjoy writing: Any authoritative figure because it's hard and when there's multiple characters because it's hard to keep track

Is there a fic you regret writing: Not really, I mean I'm embarrassed of some of my writings, but it just shows that I've learned and I can write better now :)

Favorite thing you've written: "When I..." A long fic about a suicide attempt and it was very comforting to write, but then I think I've written a few good hurt/comfort fics. There's like very small bits of the stories that I absolutely love, and loved to write

What do you like to write: Hurt/comfort and just sad things, I feel like I'm good at it. I like descriptive writing too and I've been trying to work on it lately

What don't you like writing: Smut, I feel a little cringe when I write it, and like longer fics, I feel I can't come up with a good enough idea for a one 🤔 Also, I don't have the patience for that

Favorite characters: Sheldon Cooper from the big bang theory. Sirius and Remus obviously, regulus, and then I like the Weasley twins... There's honestly too many that I like. But to mention a few more: Nick, Charlie, the art teacher I can't remember the name of from heart stopper. Loki <3. Will Halsted and Sharon Goodwin are the best characters in Chicago med, fight me.

Do you keep a journal: I have a few pages in the back of my calendar for bullet journaling

One bad habit: self deprecation, I apparently do that too much. Source: my friends

What did you want to be as a child: I really wanted to be a chef or a baker

Who's the last person you held hands with: My friend when dancing, if that doesn't count, then with the same friend at a school Christmas party cause I almost lost them in the hallway 'cause there were a lot of people. Before that, no clue

Are you outgoing or shy: Shy with new people. I'm shyly outgoing lol

Who are you looking forward to seeing: My bestie haven't seen her in over a year

What does your most recent text say: "Alright :)" Another one cause it was around the same time but to a different person. "It's just a little guy"

Do you have trust issues. Oh yeah

Favorite part of your daily routine: Everything cause it always goes the same way. We love structure over here

What do you do when you wake up: Turn off my alarm if it's on, then I go through the notifications on my phone and just lay there doing random things before I gotta get up. Usually reading actually if I have enough time and oh, always listen to a podcast/music

Do you like your neighbors: I don't really know our neighbors 👀 except the ones I dog sit for. Oh at least one of our neighbors thinks I'm creepy. (Literally steered their kids away from me while I was coming from school.)

Is your hair long enough for a ponytail: it is, I just often don't keep it in one. Unless it's dirty or I'm alone and need it to get it out of the way

How many languages can you speak: Two (actually three but I'm really bad at the third one) I picked french for next year tho :)

Can you cook: Yep, I'm quite good at it. I can bake too

Last time you cried: A few days ago because I was feeling like an absolutely horrible human being

How long does it take you to get ready: Like 10 minutes lol ⏱️

Favorite number: 5. Five is the Ultima number, and everything either ends in five or is divisible by five. I've always liked the number five :3

Alright 😮‍💨

That was quite long, Sorry about that, I just like questions :)

If there is something you wanna know for some reason, feel free to ask. Like I said I like questions.

I might write more things here, if I think of something or find something fun

Feel free to use these if you want, I just want to note that most of these I did not make up myself and I don't know who did.

Enjoy this I guess I just got inspired and stopped studying for this, anyone I can blame on my English grade after this 👀

Also there's almost hundred of you following me, that's so weird....

<3

#get to know me #questions #get to know the blogger #get to know the person behind the blog #get to know you #fanfic writing #writing #thoughts #this was my procrastination #i'm procrastinating #this was fun

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Okay, so in order to accurately read my review: first imagine a good 15 minutes of incoherent screaming/babbling/gesticulating while I tried to calm my brain down enough to explain why it was reacting like that.

Then imagine me carefully selecting "the best lines" only to realize I'd "selected" a good 90% of the fic.

Now:

"He was quiet and still for a moment, and Matthew thought that particular enough to frown.

"'What's the matter?'

"'I forgot my question.' Jack gave a sheepish grin. 'Sorry.'"

I love them, your honor. Poor Matt's just trying to sleep off a migraine, but Jack Has A Question and will be satisfied... oh, nope, he forgot. And "Jack sitting still is weird enough that something's wrong" is just... it's this little touch of knowing his brother, and also the lead in to "he forgot his very important question," and I love it.

"'Where's Father?'

"'Drunk,' Zee chirped, and Matthew startled. She had appeared in the doorway without him even hearing when the swish of her skirts should have been as loud enough to alert him, but he really was out of it. Oh God, were both of them on the same mission? He sat up. Jack could be distracted but Zee? She was a bloodhound. And she never forgot anything."

Again, I love them. Zee's matter of fact statement (Arthur, quit getting drunk in front of your weans), and "oh shit, I can't get out of this if she's on the case." The little juxtaposition between his reaction to both of their appearances and how he thinks of them... I love it, I love it so much.

"'Oh, right! That's what I wanted to ask. Olly's head.' said Jack. 'The one that Father says he keeps up on the mantle in that fancy box,' He pointed at the carved mahogany box on the mantel, etched with what he'd bet was Uncle Rhys spell work, but they didn't talk about that."

Okay, so to insert my own question, because Jack and I are kindred spirits in that regard: if the skull was in a glass case before the house was Jack-proofed, does that mean the box was made recently? Did the previous display include any spell work, or was there a reason to add it for the box specifically? Either "it's been warded since the day it came off" or "it was added well over a century later" would be fascinating looks into Arthur's mindset around the thing. Also, the image of Arthur asking his big brother to help him with magic... I'm so obsessed with the moments when, even at the height of the Empire, Arthur leans on his brothers.

"She lifted her chin and stared right back. 'You've seen it. So if it isn't in the box, show us the box.'"

This is such a small thing - I loved Matt trying to lie to get out of it and immediately getting outsmarted by Zee. Do not lie to the small child, Matt, she can best you.

"Arthur had made him look at it. Back then, before the house had been Jack-proofed, it had been displayed behind glass. The horrible shrunken skull with tight, parchment-mummified skin and a grinning jaw that wiggled when the display cloche over its base moved at all. It was a French flag over his land back then. Arthur had only closed one hand over his neck and made him look. The implication had been clear. That's where you'll end up, too, my boy, if you're not careful."

Aaaaaaand I am immediately snapped out of the cute sibling interaction and into the fucked-up-ness of their "family" and its existence. I just... fuck. Arthur deciding to threaten the small child under his care, and Matt understanding the threat... And the way you worded it absolutely drives the terror and the... power? Control? home. I can see it happening and feel the emotional tension between Matt and Arthur in that moment. And you did it in three sentences.

"At home… the head is powerful." She said carefully, as if translating a concept she'd never spoken about into English was difficult. Perhaps it was. Matthew didn't know what to say to that.

Once again crying over Zee. She's part English, sure, and in many ways the most like Arthur - but there's this whole other side to her that she can't talk about or represent the way she wants. Something about this bit is really driving home what she, Jack, and Matt are and the inherent fucked-up-ness of their existence.

"'Then why's Father got it?', Zee asked. They drew nearer, and Matthew stood, pulling them with him, needing out of that room, away from that box and its half-forgotten contents. He walked them to the door, remembering a day when he had been the problem, the opponent, the obstacle in father's way.

"'Because he made father his enemy.'"

[Cue my brain bursting into flames trying to process the emotions]

It's a lot. Like, Zee and Jack are just after "ooh, the creepy skull!" (with some cultural hesitation on Zee's part), but Matt's thinking about "the skull the man who calls himself our father used to communicate that I need to watch my step or I WILL be removed from the equation." But at the same time - sure it hasn't been said to the other two because they've been under the English flag since birth (well... legally), but they live under that same threat. The dichotomy of them being kids after something creepy their dad has, but also colonial holdings asking about the proof that the empire is vindictive and will end an enemy no matter where he finds it... it's doing things to my brain.

This fic was both extremely entertaining and gave me a LOT to think about, thank you so much for sharing it!

My brain just screams joy at me for like two days straight every time you comment I can't even express how happy it makes me. Everything I'm trying to do comes through to someone and it... it works???? A miracle. And god, yeah, Arthur in all likelihood wouldn't have hurt Matt because generally children are the one thing that can stay his hand in most contexts but if he'd been an obstacle threatening Alfred in a way that Arthur could tangibly see, it would have been done. He's generally more interested in protecting his children even before he properly claims them but they are possessions before they're people in so, so very many ways. Collected like the stuffed birds and the contents of the green house. Zee is trying so hard to articulate these concepts that have no English translation, unite these aspects of her that are utterly at odds and Jack's still young enough his questions don't have bitter unsatisfying answers yet and Matt already knows what they'll grow up to understand someday. There's just so much bullshit that lives in my brain and I'm so happy it got out on paper!

Okay, so to insert my own question, because Jack and I are kindred spirits in that regard: if the skull was in a glass case before the house was Jack-proofed, does that mean the box was made recently? Did the previous display include any spell work, or was there a reason to add it for the box specifically?

So this is something I'm kind of adding into established works because I audited a course on the history of magic and folklore to make a reference collection for those students to use and I got drop kicked back into my teenage pagan phase so now the hard core realism I've always liked sticking too is more and more turning into a very annoying attempt at magical realism I am so sorry lmao.

So I actually had 3 versions of the Cromwell head. One where it was as somewhat recorded in history. Just dried out, spooky, and sitting on the mantel. The second was that Arthur actually fused Cromwell's soul in there and actually talked to the thing sometimes. But that felt weird so I went with the third. That the skull, as was often thought of skulls through early European history acts as a kind of conduit. Arthur needs it because of all his siblings I think might actually be the weakest in whatever kind of magical ability there may be, I haven't decided how far I want to go in that direction. But being the youngest, he learned the least from their mother and didn't much care to learn much later. So the spell-work he did on the glass and cloche started wearing off about a century or so after Cromwell lost his head. It was keeping in the bad vibes from Cromwell's skull and keeping out the curious (like Jack) so Alasdair made a box and Rhys enchanted the thing to contain Cromwell and keep the curious (Jack) out. When the weans got older and Arthur no longer has servants and what not it just sits on the mantel. Zee puts an elf hat and fairy lights on it at Christmas and bunny eared headband at Easter just for maximum disrespect.

Rhys really just put so much overtime in when the kids are young, carving and enchanting various hex traps and witch boxes to keep shit contained. Wales and Scotland were among the first victims of English imperialism but also certainly participated it in it. So while Arthur quite literally probably has skeletons in the closet, they all are a part of this fucked up imperial mess.

#lmao the last time i dabbled in this it was the viking time travel story from like 6 years ago #so bear with me #why i write #historical inaccuracy? in my historical fantasy? more likely than you think #the ask box || probis pateo