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loveabledirtbag · 2 years

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….good.

#comedy #satire #chaotic queer #political satire #news satire #news #politics #usa #marjorie traitor greene #marjorie taylor greene #pride #pride month #newsweek

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indecisive-canadian-news · 1 year

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Witnesses say the Florida Governor muttered something about needing to pull a Bane and becoming one with the darkness and rats in order to defeat the supreme rat himself: Mickalodean ("Micky") Mouse

Ron Desantis Fires Back at Disney by Descending into the Rat-Infested Sewers of Miami for An Entire Season-Long Training Montage

MIAMI — Residents of Miami have been getting restless after reports emerged that the state's governor, Ronald "McDonald's" Desantis has apparently left on a journey into the Miami sewer system to 'train' himself.

Governor Desantis was last spotted by an elderly couple outside Key West. The pair, Doreen Chavez, 45 and her husband, Hugo Chavez, 62, were out on their yacht.

"All of a sudden I noticed there was a man in the distance, trying to crawl into one of the sewer pipes. I couldn't believe my eyes. At first I thought it was a plumber but as I got closer I realized it was none other than our governor."

The only thing worse than seeing the clown from IT in the sewers would be seeing Mr. Ron Desantis.

Mr. Desantis reportedly told his staff that he was going on a month-long spiritual retreat. However staffers became suspicious when they noticed him loading a shotgun, two rifles, a pistol, and 10 pounds of rat poison into the trunk of his car.

According to two sewage department employees who ran into the governor while on their shift 'down in the depths', the Governor was attempting a Rambo-inspired one-man assault on the rats' central base underneath the Central Business District.

A working-class Floridian forced to use the city's public transit after a DUI conviction suspended his license.

While some residents are increasingly worried over the governor's prolonged disappearance, others, who have been the continued targets of the Governor's merciless 'war on woke' saw cause for celebration.

On Monday evening, a gathering of minority groups came together downtown for a large parade. A chance to enjoy and commemorate the momentary peace.

Among them included: transgender athletes, transgender youth, pregnant women, environmental activists, and the kind of people that always show up when there's free food.

When reached for comment, DeSantis' office stated that the Governor's governing training is progressing slowly albeit hindered by their inability to obtain the rights to any of the songs used in the montages of the various "Rocky" films.

"My new bros for life! Ride or Die motherhonkers, KAWCHOW!" - @Ronald_BigD_Santis (Instagram)

"Rome wasn't built in a day," said one senior aide. "Even now, Mr. DeSantis is working hard, fighting the mutant rodents under our city. Why? Because he cares about America and he loves his people."

At time of publication, another senior aide was overheard admitting that the governor had gotten a bit sidetracked, having began befriending a tight-knit group of turtle siblings from whom DeSantis hoped to learn some martial arts.

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mengjue · 4 months

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Ūropi (Europe)

Ūropi, also known by its indigenous name “Europe”, meaning “wide-gazing” or “broad of aspect”, is a small continent first discovered in 1806 by Moehanga of Ngāpuhi, although indigenous Europeans had been living there for many thousands of years. Modern researchers believe the indigenous Europeans originally migrated from the Middle East, and over time split into separate tribes or “kingdoms,” with many retaining their ancient rangatira (called “monarchs” or “nobility”) to this day.

While many see Ūropi as timeless and exotic, indigenous Europeans have actually adapted well to the modern economy, often exporting cultural products like baguettes and vodka, the former of which may be recognisable as the basis for bánh mì.

#this is how so many things sound #Europe #colonialism #Aotearoa #New Zealand #satire

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madame-helen · 8 months

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#meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #humor #funny #lol #satire #funny memes #funny humor #funny meme #video games #war thunder #minecraft #virginia #news #us military #irony #joke #parody

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politijohn · 6 months

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Screaming. The Onion did it again…

#Kissinger #war criminal #politics #us politics #government #war crimes #end all wars #news #current events #satire #the onion

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thenewdemocratus · 9 months

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Sugar Poultry:Whose Line Is It Anyway- Chris Walken Doing The News

. Source:The Daily Press ABC use to have a show called Whose Line Is It Anyway, the American version of the BBC Whose Line show. And what it was five comedians including the host Drew Carey who would be given scenes and characters to play, but the comedians would have to act out the scenes with no script or lines. The comedians would have to act out the scenes off the top of their heads, almost…

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#ABC #ABC&039;s Whose Line is it Anyway #Christopher Walken #Christopher Walken Impersonations #Drew Carey #Jeff Davis #News Satire #Satire #Whose Line is it Anyway

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chaser · 1 year

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#trans #lgbt #satire #news #lgbtq

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z34l0t · 1 year

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#the bugle #andy zaltzman #comedy podcast #news satire #british comedy #Youtube

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blogbasslakebeacon · 1 year

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Bass Lake Elementary Lunch Menu 3/6/2023-3/10/2023

Johnny Wen, the proprietor of Beijing Bait and Tackle, located conveniently on the sunny and oddly mountainous south shore of Bass Lake, says, “Let’s go fishing!” (Photo courtesy of the PRC.) MondayWorms or noodles?SeaweedRaisin wedgePerch cream pieRoof leakTuesdayLate-stage hot dogCauliflower stemDeep-fried peach pitSanitizer slushyVase waterWednesdayBurger barKetchup skinPineappleFudgcicleNut…

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#Elementary lunch menu #News Satire

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dad-headlines · 6 months

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#breaking news #satire #jokes

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teesmine · 2 years

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Welcome To Night Vale Sweatshirt For Men and Women | Teesmine.com

This sweatshirt is Made To Order. We use DTG Technology to print onto Front Welcome To Night Vale Sweatshirt.

Welcome To Night Vale Sweatshirt description:

8.0 oz., 50/50 cotton/polyester Reduced pilling and softer air-jet spun yarn Double-lined with matching drawcord (adult style only) 1×1 athletic rib knit cuffs and waistband with spandex Double-needle stitching throughout size: S,M,L,XL color:black,gray,white

Washing Instructions: – Please turn the sweatshirt inside out and wash it on a COLD cycle. – Do not use bleach or any fabric softener.

Please feel free to contact me, thank you for visiting!

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loveabledirtbag · 2 years

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i want to preemptively apologize to disney adults. i refuse to apologize to ben shapiro

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indecisive-canadian-news · 1 year

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Former Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, Announced Today That He Would Not Be Competing in the 2024 Olympics men's Division 100m Sprint

WASHINGTON — The announcement shocked many of his supporters who saw the former Trump Official's path to both the White House as well as gold in the 2024 Olympics as a sure-fire guaranteed win.

At press time, members of Mr. Pompeo's team were noted distributing tomorrow's press memos which indicated he would also not be running in this year's star-studded Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards for worst on-screen career.

Secretary Mike Pompeo, above, warming up for the 100m sprint at an practice heat in April was widely seen as the front-runner of Team USA's track and field team.