#my wife got jokes

[shurislover]

letitia is too funny

“ yeah sing that song bruh “ “ tomorrow my birthDAYYYYYYYYYYY”

found on twitter : wrightbrasil

#letitia wright #letitia x reader #my wife got jokes

[ecto-stone]

HC- Jack like people with long curly hair.

#hachi doodle #danny phantom #so this is kinda base on a joke my science teacher used to tell us #where the husband really love his wife long hair but got super devastated when she style it into one of those short modern bob

[restinslices]

Some of y'all ain't thinking about being Ares' favorite mortal lover and him watching as you get in a new relationship with a guy that treats you terrible so he pulls up on the guy and reveals he's a god and goes over all his titles and ends on him being the protector of mistreated women then asking "have you been mistreating my woman?" AND THAT'S WHERE WE DIFFER

#I started obsessing over him as a joke but it ain't a joke no more #The soulja boy cranked me #is this something you'd hear in a cringy ass wattpad book? yes #but bitch let it slide this once😭 #HE'S A GOD not a mafia boss so technically it's not as bad #I say in denial #Adam Copeland got me in a chokehold #RELEASE ME #during BHM too. The ancestors are not happy with me #ares pjo #ares percy jackson #ares x reader #or or or hear me out- #“have you been mistreating my wife?” #LISTEN- #I gotta stop fucking around and do requests 😭

[scoliosisgoblin]

I'M QUITTING ART‼️🗿

MY FRIEND SAID MY YB LOOKS LIKE ANIMATED ADAM SANDLER‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I HATE THAT GUY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO YOU SEE IT ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ I DONT 🙏🙏

#I think I only liked him in hotel transylvania but it's not even for his performance as Drac #ALSO FUCK YOU DUDE!!! YOU DONT HAVE TUMBLR BUT FUCK YOU #if he ever got tumblr I think I'd make an account just posting animated Adam Sandler every day as a joke #OR.. OR I'D REPLACE ALL MY PETER STUFF WITH ADAM 😭😭😭 THAT'D HE A PAIN IN THE ASS TO DO BUT IT'D BE SO FUNNY #peter dunbar #peter yb #also fuck Adam Sandler. he supports the genocide #him and his wife I think #SAME WITH JACK BLACK BTW THEY'RE ALL ZIONISTS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW #my art #your boyfriend game #yb fandom #yb peter #yb game #yb fanart #yb #your boyfriend fanart #your boyfriend peter

[lowvintagesims]

@funkiesims and i saw john mulaney last night and this is the front and back of the shirts we made for the occasion

#john mulaney hate is more than welcome in the replies #his set was remarkably unfunny #he’s always had questionable jokes about jewish people but how DARE this man use the phrase ‘jew me down’ #when his whole justification was haha my wife is jewish. like ok buddy #you cheated on her and got another woman pregnant robbing her of her child bearing years #left her for that other woman. put her in the hospital. all while you get to flit around being famous #his last bit was about how he thought his tour bus driver was an idiot redneck but that he was actually autistic #i hate him with my whole heart #i can’t believe there were people who paid $800+ to sit in the front #i planned to buy some of anna marie’s art of equal or greater value to the ticket price but everything on her website is sold out :/ #i want a print of dinner in march so badly #john mulaney #big mouth #textpost

[ilikedetectives]

I'm all ears about bottom Minthara.

I keep thinking how nice it would be if there was a second scene for her romance when you reach act 3 and get together with her. And for it to be softer and more tender in comparison to the scene at the goblin party. I desperately need it and to have Tav take care of her please

I'm so normal about bottom Minthara, not because of the smut, but it shows her ultimate trust in Tav as their relationship evolves from Act 1 to Act 3. Given what she's been through, it's understandable for her to want to be in control, because let's be honest throughout the centuries under Lolth and then the Absolute, when was the last time her mind was her own for her to make a choice, for herself? (hint: "Tonight, I wanted this - for myself.") So for her to willingly trust Tav to let that go, even just for a few moments. Alurlssrin is unselfish, deep, unbreakable love, but do you know what Tav is? Tav is her tri âm tri kỷ (know the sound, know the self) in both romantic and platonic ways, do you understand?!?!?!? Her scars are invisible and Tav is the only one who sees through them, that is why she only cares for how Tav sees her through their eyes *go outside and scream*

Between "Tonight there will be no voices, no orders, no gods... I belong only to you." (Act 2/3) and "Minthara is my home." in the epilogue, I'd say there's nothing but soft between them as time goes on and it gets softer as each night passes.

The dream is a very soft romance scene after "I belong only to you." which is a total contrast to Act 1 (bonus is including the alurlssrin dialogue during aftercare). I wish Tav could also comfort her after saving her from Orin because that level of trauma coming back, ooof.

#minthara baenre #nightwarden minthara #bg3 #I know I joke harder than Dribbles the Clown about her sitting on Tav's face in Act 1 #but what got me by the throat is actually her choosing to cuddle afterwards #then wifes Tav on the spot #then the “I only heard your breath and your voice” #and “Tonight I wanted this - for myself.” #“I prayed that you would but there are no gods left to me” sealed my fate #isn't she the only one with aftercare cuddle scene? #I GOT A TYPO IT WAS MEANT TO BE UNSELFISH NOT SELFISH OH FISH #once again 髮如雪 Hair Like Snow and Sleeping Sun playing in the background asdasdas #Imma post this now cuz if I wait any longer this is gonna be a 5k word response asdasasddsa #anon #answered #minthara brainrot #bg3 babbles

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

#and know you know the rest of the story #when i was s younger man i had a good paying job at a factory plant as a temp worker #i liked this job #and it was easy clean indoor temp controlled light labor with a jovial #kindly and generally loving crowd of people all just trying to earn a living in this shit economy #and care for each get along with each other #it was a really nice atmosphere. there was only a little manager taking advantage of a woman's situation to force a relationship. #but she was petty please about the whole arrangement because she was lonely and he was kind and likable and #good looking younger guy #and it made her job impossible to get the boot #even as it got easier to boot #anyways i worked my ass off and just tried to get along with the boss #and it paid great #We could have been poor and happy working jobs like that for life if i really had to got some reason #but anyways this bossman manager sees me sweeping my ass off a clean floor and instead of telling me to go lean on a post for a bit #tells me I'm doing a good job #and that I'll make a someone s fine wife someday #i wanted to slap that smug mother fucker up there head w my broom. But i was laughing to hard at that fuckers joke because i liked the guy. #and i liked my job #anyway #here i am being a good little wife #and I'm living the life of Reilly doing it #i don't know the etymology of that phrase is. only my Dad says it in my experience #it might be good own little creation. #you're welcome #And the mother fucker just let me keep sweeping my dumbass all over a clean floor! #Union strong

[bubba-draws]

How Shroomie met their future wife Fefe

(also jsyk the thing on Shroomie's head is a weird ass hoodie, not hair hakdhajd)

#i was joking to my friends about giving Mushroom a mushroom wife that looked like Connecticut Clark and welp #not longer a joke #they have the same development those other two got #bubba doods #hollow knight oc #bubba ocs

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

> Rose: Confess to Kanaya!

Rose: I love you.

Kanaya: Y Yo Ati, Rose.

> Rose: Get swallowed by something that looks like Venom.

> Rose: Get sent to super hell!

> Kanaya: Have something very gay and homophobic happen to you.

Kanaya: ...

What an absolute diversity loss. You find yourself thinking "love loses!"

#Okay this is my highest possible effort post so far; please spread it around like it's the flu or something #I put so many hours into this like actually lmao I surprised myself with how late I stayed up #going on a content hiatus soon so I suppose that fits that I put out a high effort destiel meme & scene recreation as a last hurrah #send in requests though; i'll get around to them when I get around to them! love to see what you folks come up with! #the sprite assets are up on my main but I'll reblog them here later; not sure if I'll have a tag system or not for it yet #new supernatural & homestuck memes format dropped along with a couple of spn AU designs & beyond canon too #yes I even included a shot of super mega turbo hell; it's got a little bit of everything as it should 🔥 #rosewheresheshouldntbe #kanaya maryam #rose lalonde #rosemary #homestuck #originals #hs rose #hs kanaya #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #please don't expect me to commit to the bit this hard every time because that's absolutely not realistic; I just got super into this 😂 #I can't believe I designed entire new outfits around rosemary just for the bit of doing this joke; just for this little side blog #the rose outfit is just an edited version of her hs beyond canon outfit; but still! I'm happy with how she & her wife look 💜

[qualityrain]

love how shinpei can say the most insane off putting weird intense yandere bullshit and all it takes is for satoko to give this specific look for him to backpedal like crazy

#when ur an insane yandere but u love your wife soooooo much u cant make her unhappy so u got to try take back all ur yandere bullshit #it is so funny to me. look at him. #hes like shit my wife is mad how do i go back #and then kotaro is like pointing out his obedience and mitsueda is saying oh did satoko tame him #why do u have to point that out. #have u guys heard abt respecring women (JOKE #funniest thing to me in hny is the instant change from like the page where shinpei is sooo scary #and the next page is satoko being like hey cut it out and he just goes back to being the most normal boy ever #shinpei youre so off putting and silly #firefly wedding #hotaru no yomeiri #the 24 one is so funny because hes like. abt to try justify his attempted murder of kotaro #then shes like >:/ and hes like………………....yeah u said to wait 3 days

[sen-ya]

if u ever spot law wearing a huge cardigan in one of my comics know that that is his emotional support cardigan that he inherited from Bepo as kids after bepo grew out of it that is all

#it started as one comic #i kept joking that the cardigan was a paid actor #and my wife was like “he loves it so much cuz it was bepos” #and i was like welp thats true now #i slowly got more purposeful with when i put him in it #so in more recent ones it's clear that hes wearing it cuz hes upset #not that im posting things in the order i drew them whoops lmao #my hcs #one piece #trafalgar law

[frozenhi-chews]

Small reminder that I'm not comfy sharing Starlo so, just keep that in mind

#got an ask and I mean no ill will to them at all #again this diesnt apply to current moots #but i didnt exactly like seeing “my wife” coming from someone else when referring to Stars #i didn't know how to respond to it so I deleted it. probably not my best move tbh #the cake doth speak #tbh it couls have just been a small joke but it still somehow upset me. i. need to lie downZ #-*

[chemicalarospec]

Picture of Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester. The caption is "me and the ugly short baddie I pulled by being autistic." Either of them could have written it. Do you see my vision.

#sorry i'm so worreid i'm going to get called out for making up autistic jane eyre now. okay she's not VERY autistic it's a difficult #argument to make it's more a headcanon due to small moments far outnumbered by allistic jane eyre moments ok #autistic mr. rochester is like completely made up even more btw. but like. obviously. #jane eyre #classic literature #none of my classmates are going to understand this book like i do when school starts (60% joking) #we're reading wide sargasso sea too so it's all going to be attic wife discourse #classic lit #classical literature #i said this #i keep going back and forth on if there's more evidence of her being autistic or allistic #like am i just seeing what i want to see. because there ARE neurotypical moments from Jane and Mr. Rochester. but i just love #the idea of them getting along so well because they autisticly get each other. full disclosure i am allistic. i think. #but either way Autistic Jane Eyre is a cool headcanon/interpretation i enjoy #jane and mr rochester are an iconic double short couple this is simply facts #jane is literally ai qiong chou #oh i got the order wrong. why did they switch the order of the adjectives compared to gaofushuai. it's 矮丑穷

[jichanxo]

bitches will say "pride and prejudice kuwagami" half seriously and then get WAY too into drawing it

#kuwagami #lost judgment #judgment #kuwana jin #jin kuwana #yagami takayuki #takayuki yagami #jichanart #yagami is lizzy of course #rich guy kuwana feels a bit cursed SO it's gotta be kitakata. he's prissy enough for it. and he's got the ego. #here i am back in highschool english class sketching pride and prejudice art in the margins of my workbook #and making exaggerated jokes about being in love with mr darcy #(i like him a normal amount but i got silly with it so i could make my friend laugh) #ANYWAY. isn't yagami beautiful #it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of an unwavering belief must be in want of a wife #....or something. someone else come up with a funnier joke about this au #yagami WOULD get mud all over him walking an incredibly long distance in his dress #yeah sorry i was the kind of nerd who did the assigned readings in school AND enjoyed them

[trivialbob]

My wife is prepping for a scheduled colonoscopy. She's now in the midst of 24 hours of a Gatorade and water diet.

That's too bad for her, because she won't be able to eat any of the pizza I ordered for lunch. It's a big pizza. Don't worry, there will be a piece leftover for her tomorrow.

#I'm kidding #I made a simple salad that my wife can't even smell #But the joke is on me now because I'm seriously craving a big pizza #But I'm too nice to order a huge fragrent delicious pepperoni and sausage pizza and eat it in front of her #I have got to stop writing about big pizzas

[dootznbootz]

Do you have Diomedes eventually being immortalized by Athena in your hcs like he is in some versions of his mythology?

Honestly, I don't really know? 😅 He kind of only "exists" in my writing until he meets once with Penelope at like, 13-14 years of Odysseus being gone. Sthenelus is, ofc, with him. :D And he tells some stories to Penelope and kind of hangs out with Telemachus before they're off again. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After that, I don't think much or plan much for him 😅 "You played your narrative purpose, now you are free to do what you please, little dude."

Maybe I'll have it mentioned or something? but I don't know for sure :'D

#I'm sorry dear anon. I know I'm kind of “Not the norm” with Diomedes and while I find him interesting. he's also the most #“He's just some guy. A very good fighter guy but still just a guy.” to me😅😂 #The only reason why I DO have thoughts on him is literally because I feel like I kind of HAVE to by the fandom :'D #It was kind of a “Oh shit. I'm supposed to have this guy be a big deal? Oh. uh...Odysseus and him are teenage exes who have beef.” #I'm fascinated by his “I'm Athena's windup toy soldier” aspect and his relationship with Sthenelus but honestly even then I find Sthenelus #more compelling than him to be honest lol #I don't even know why??? I mean Odysseus is my special little guy (Penelope moreso which is why Diomedes gets the privilege #to meet her. He will be grateful.👀) but for the male characters then it's Menelaus then Agamemnon then Patroclus then Dio #Lol in order to get me to like a character they gotta compliment and hype up Penelope xD #Menelaus? Calls her clever and “Godlike” to Telemachus. Good lad. #Agamemnon? Calls her a good woman and good and clever wife. Good lad. #Diomedes? ...Nothing. No praising Penelope. That's a crime in my book.👀 /joking #I wish I had more to say but that's all I got :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #ask #anon #my headcanons