#and it paid great

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

#and know you know the rest of the story #when i was s younger man i had a good paying job at a factory plant as a temp worker #i liked this job #and it was easy clean indoor temp controlled light labor with a jovial #kindly and generally loving crowd of people all just trying to earn a living in this shit economy #and care for each get along with each other #it was a really nice atmosphere. there was only a little manager taking advantage of a woman's situation to force a relationship. #but she was petty please about the whole arrangement because she was lonely and he was kind and likable and #good looking younger guy #and it made her job impossible to get the boot #even as it got easier to boot #anyways i worked my ass off and just tried to get along with the boss #and it paid great #We could have been poor and happy working jobs like that for life if i really had to got some reason #but anyways this bossman manager sees me sweeping my ass off a clean floor and instead of telling me to go lean on a post for a bit #tells me I'm doing a good job #and that I'll make a someone s fine wife someday #i wanted to slap that smug mother fucker up there head w my broom. But i was laughing to hard at that fuckers joke because i liked the guy. #and i liked my job #anyway #here i am being a good little wife #and I'm living the life of Reilly doing it #i don't know the etymology of that phrase is. only my Dad says it in my experience #it might be good own little creation. #you're welcome #And the mother fucker just let me keep sweeping my dumbass all over a clean floor! #Union strong

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 179

“Pa, there’s a weird lookin’ cat outside!” 

 -Said by a sleep deprived Danny Phantom while in Clockwork’s Lair, about a hero displaced in time. Clockwork is in fact amused. Batman is simply confused about the entire situation.  

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #Danny uses the fact that other ghosts are afraid of CW to get some peace and quiet #Clockwork is happy to hold and snuggle his ghostling #He’d get out and visit his little baby ghost more but there’s these annoying speedsters in all these different timelines that keep making #knots that he has to detangle before his paid vacation time can start #Danny looks tiny compared to Giant Ancient Clockwork #Ghosts continue to grow with age and Never Stop as long as there’s space #Seeing as they control the amount of space in their lairs… #Batman is going to have the craziest time travelling incident ever #Clockwork decides that he’d make a GREAT babysitter #Here’s the list for the seven children and he’ll come pick them up once he fixes the speedsters mess thanks #(Said after Danny gets his nap and CW gets him to bring his sisters & friends)

[aimbutmiss]

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS SEQUENCE Zoro looks so concerned

#the new art style is AMAZING #it fits one piece so well #i love how much homage they paid to the history of op #the sequence with all of luffy's fits got me ngl #WE SAW VIVI HELLO #i miss her #this was great my mind has been blown #i need to catch up quick #the fact the singer is the same guy who sang we are 😭 #full circle moment #cross guild fans we are eating today #just a little snak #one piece #monkey d. luffy #buggy the clown #roronoa zoro #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #cross guild #egghead

[finzphoenix]

"I would have you by my side in Menzoberranzan."

Minthara and Kalius sharing an intimate moment above the lights of Menzoberranzan city, commissioned by @ilikedetectives!🖤🤍 Their inwoven braids representing the bond of marriage; symbolising memories, fate, and someone's personality/essence.

Kalius, OC © ilikedetectives

Minthara © Larian Studios

Art © FinzPhoenix

#Thanks again for the commission!^^ #If this comm taught me one thing then that I'm not made for planning out my backgrounds. #I tried so hard to be systematic. Tried to figure out the correct shape language and balance the focal point and composition... #paid so much attention to creating the right foreground middleground and background... #But nah nothing looked good. Then I just took a break said f this and instead went with my intuition and it turned out great!^^ #Nightwarden Minthara #Minthara #Kalius OC BG3 #Tav BG3 #Minthara x Tav #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #Baldurs Gate 3 #Finz art #Commission

[valdevia]

Lot 6: Indonesian Statue of Unknown Deity.

"In his journals, Moertono described the statue as "hideous" and "shapeless" and "malformed," indicating it was but a deeply-imperfect attempt at capturing something else, some shape beyond the mastery of human hands or human eyes."

This is one of the illustrations I made for the Dagon Collection book, along with an extract from the accompanying story, written by Nadia Bulkin! You can get the book here:

#unreality #horror art #photoshop #dagon collection #get the book it's great! (not a paid endorsment I just really liked working on this!)

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

You know, I'm a huge fan of mirkwood elves being considered creepy and downright terrifying by almost everyone on Middle Earth, even by other elves. Your headcanons of them being nocturnal and eating the fuckin spawn of ungoliant of all things add on to this, sooo, can I have some incorrect quotes about some scary elves?

As asked for, some incorrect quotes:

Legolas: *starting to gut the spider carcasses after a skirmish*

The twins, who are visiting: what are you doing?!

Legolas: look, we can share if you want-

~~~~~

*in Imlardis*

The twins: *throw the curtains wide open* good morning!

Legolas: *hisses* wHAT DEVILISH CONTRAPTION-

~~~~~~~~~

Elrond: *talking about how food is scarce atm in Imlardis*

Thranduil: *pauses* you kill dozens of orcs on the regular, and you still don’t have enough food?

~~~~~~~~~

Faramir: I heard that those elves of Mirkwood will eat anyone and anything they deem an enemy.

Aragorn: oh, that’s an exaggeration-

Legolas:......

Aragorn: that’s an exaggeration, right legolas-

~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: you two are like the sun

The twins: awww, thank you-

Legolas: a nuisance.

~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: look if you’re stupid enough to challenge my people, you get eaten if you loose. That’s the rules of engagement.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil: nighttime is Funtime

*silvans cackling in the distance as they slaughter all who cross their path*

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thranduil: of course I would never hurt a tree! They are Eru’s gift to the universe!

Thranduil: you, however-

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Galion: oh, the noldor are always like “oh no! The darkness! By god what will we do when there are no farms! The night is so scary”

Galion: bitch, what do you think life was like before ya’ll came?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: Eru may judge me, but honestly, fuck him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas: *dragging a spider corpse* life’s too short to care about other people’s opinions-

Aragorn: you’re immortal!

Legolas: fine, life’s too long to care about other people’s opinions. Happy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Glorfindel: alright, looks like- wHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?

Arwen:*snacking on a spider leg* this is really good!

Legolas, vibrating with excitement: I know, right!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*in valinor post lotr*

Gandalf: ok, Thranduil has finally sailed, which means I need to get out of here before he catches me because he will definitely eat me for endangering his son-

Thranduil: hello, Gandalf!

Gandalf: *incoherent screaming*

#silvans #silvan elves #incorrect tolkien quotes #lord of the rings #thranduil #lotr #legolas #mirkwood #the hobbit #greenwood the great #the silvans genuinly don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions #they aren’t mad at the noldor for the silmaril debacle #honestly they aren’t that cross with them at all #they are a bit peeved at how they came in and said ‘mine now’ about the land #without consulting literally anyone though #but eh #they believe karma has paid it’s due #except for Galadriel #honestly the silvans of Greenwood do not like her #anyway #the silvans are half a step away from being eldritches #Legolas will fight Eru and the valar in the back parking lot of a Denny’s with no hesitation #the valar: we are the gods #the silvans: sounds fake

[krasnyel]

one thing that literally burned a hole in my chest was how kendall, roman and shiv were talking about the deal at the rehearsal, at the bar, at the karaoke, and all the while you could see a blurry, out-of-frame connor sitting next to them, waiting for them to stop.

#even after they paid attention to his state they still proceeded to talk about the deal #‘hey con are you ok?’ ok great now let’s talk business for another 10 minutes straight #it’s okay because he sure can live without their love #connor roy #succession #krasnyel post

[snackugaki]

one orrrr

two?

#not a perfect return to posting art #but fuck if my pettiness isn't a great driving force #lol about what snack?? #some ole bullshit i saw on the whassit... insta or twitter #one of those two where “FaNs” go to pretend they got no fucking manners #oOoOh you're a this that whatever artist because look you draw like this one OoOoh #fuck outa here #literally I'm gonna post going through my whole goddamn style rolodex #also? #personal art style is not as big a deal as some of these new/young artists think it is #like maybe in commercial or children's book illustration #since they look for a specific vibe #and you're doing yourself an artistic disservice by focusing so much on “creating a personal style” #and this weird fucking self-imposed boundary of like appreciating how an artist renders this or that aspect of their drawing #because they think the plagiarism police are gonna SWAT them #like... it's pretty and you like it bcoz it speaks to you so #fucking just #try it out #try out that type of line weight #try out that color palette #try out that way of lighting a person or a scene #try it #listen everyone is out here being an aesthetic frankenstein's monster #the minute you try out xyz in your art it becomes “your style” because how you interpret it replicate it will be #influenced (altered you could say) by how you draw #unless your ass getting paid to draw on model or your art lead's style or you wanna get on a show/game so you're cobbling a quick portfolio #but that's not this #also lol next mutation still got fans #my childhood nostalgia says hello #tw eyestrain

[king-crawler]

Have you seen the Disney speed storm king candy model yet. Like don’t get me wrong I’m happy to see my lil dude bro get more attention but also he looks like a bald chipmunk

(He also kinda reminds me of silver in sonic x shadow generations?????)

☹️ Who is this clash royale creature devoid of all character. Where are his clever little candy & royalty motifs. Even his bow tie. GONE . Nowhere to be seen. DISNEY‼️ GET YOUR GRUBBY PAWS OFF OF HIM. YOU DISOWNED HIM. REMEMBER⁉️ HES OURS NOW.

YOU HAVE LOST KING CANDY PRIVILEGES.

👈 OUT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#I’m sure the developers are doing their best and I hope they’re getting paid enough but this design is Not Great. #DISNEY HATE TAG #you know what I’m starting one of those #ask #also if you like the design that’s okay I will not destroy you but I . will question your taste #KING CANDY

[kagoutiss]

“what does sheik actually do in this au” fair question. everything

#tloz #ocarina of time #oot #sheik #zelda #ganondorf #undercover sheik au #sheik is a 1. ranch inspector #2. scout #3. the entire department of wildlife #4. royal security consultant #5. human/monster resources #6. guy who collects whatever the king of all evil needs without asking questions #also gets paid at irregular intervals but in obscene amounts of rupees. which mostly goes to refugees in kakariko #and then balancing all of that with covertly reporting back to impa on everything sheik has gleaned while working for ganondorf #and sometimes having to compromise between what sheik tells who because he cannot be 100% honest with ganondorf and impa all the time #due to the Circumstances #its great. sheik is doing great

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad. #so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon. #i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen. #i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it. #< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles

[m-kyunie]

mi esposo 💜💜💜 I'll save u from square my beloved ur going back in the lifestream

#ffvii #ff7 #zack fair #final fantasy 7 #honeybee au if ur new around here! #Zack takes Tseng's “We're paid much better than you are.” comment to heart & deserts. #Got 2 diff variations of my own AU where Cloud is concerned tho so don't pay too close attention lol #added 5 more doodles to this post on my Insta [@mkyunie] #i dont like posting messy uncolored things to tumblr the formatting isn't great here 4 that

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

they were insane for this. btw

#like. people were paid to animate this!!! hello!!!!!!! #the anime is called great pretender btw #it's mostly action comedy and drama. it's great #and that blonde man is one of the most bisexual bitches i ever did see!!!!!!!!!!!!! #how do i even tag this!!!!! #hello??? #suggestive #i guess #great pretender #don't mind me i just remembered this scene and had to inflict it on others

[crismakesstuff]

everytime I see someone bitch and moan about “the animation in invincible sucks” “they should treat the animators the same way MAPPA does”

i just ,,,,,

maybe we should sit YOU down in front of the computer and id like to see YOU animate smoothly and cleanly at 12-24 fps since y’all want that so bad !

#I’m so so fucking tired bro #YES I KNOW INVINCIBLE HAS LITTLE MOMENTS IN THE ANIMATION #I’m not saying it doesn’t #but anime does this shit all the time and no one complains about it ! #i personally think invincible’s little animation quirks are kinda cute #yes I would like to see more fights like the atom eve special bridge fight ! but I’m not gonna say the animation is bad #bc it objectively isn’t! #i just want more of the budget to go to animation instead of high profile voice actors ! #even tho they’re all great va’s I think no one would mind it if they used less expensive talent so the animation could be more flashy #i just want the artists to get paid well whenever they do do very action heavy shit that looks good! #ok bye #cris rant #invincible #invincible show #text post

[cerealforkart]

I want to see my little boy!

(But like… only after an appropriate amount of time and money has gone into him looking right)

#opla production team take your time #and get paid #y’all deserve it #one piece #monkey d. luffy #tony tony chopper #doodly #I really chose a great time to get into one piece a couple months ago #opla #opla spoilers #because y’all won’t know my little boy

[lordoflightning]

DOROHEDORO SEASON 2 OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED!!! WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK GANG!!!!!

#ALL OUR MANIFESTING PAID OFF LETS GOOOOOO #USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THESE LMAO #SCREAMING CRYING TEARING MY HAIR OUT THROWING UP ETC #RAAAAAAAHHHHHGHHHHHHHHH #ahem anyways #but fr genuinely so excited this is fantastic news #great start to the year #only for infinite wealth to undoubtedly come and ruin it #ANYWAY #dorohedoro #drhdr #ドロヘドロ #kaiman #nikaido #shin #noi #drhdr kaiman #drhdr noi #drhdr shin #drhdr nikaido #dorohedoro s2 #drhdr s2 #if this ends up being fake i’ll die #i really don’t think it is coz every big anime account and even q’s official twt have reposted the announcements