#my wierd wife | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lokideservesahug · 6 days

Text

Acceptable "Infidelity"

Pairing: Mark Webber x fem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of cheating (there is none, it's a big misunderstanding)

Notes: No one asked for this bi I hope you enjoy it regardless. Also with all the Pinterest diving I did for this, I have a massive urge to write for Jenson Button but no idea what do if anyone has any requests, please send them my way.

Summary: The 2024 Australian GP, the day of an incredible race, insane results and Mark Webber cheating on his wife?

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Yourusername

Yourusername: What a great Ausgp this year and I can not tell you how great it is to be back 🤍

Liked by aussiegrit, oscarpiastri and 343,897 others

See all 4,875 comments

User1: I'm so curious as to whether she saw the twitter threads or not because Mark is here not once but TWICE....

↳User2: You are freaking grilboss job photos... plus Mark

Aussiegrit: Great to see you back in the paddock.

↳Yourusername: And it was lovely to see you again Mark🤍

↳User3: Awwww... now kiss

↳User4: Woahman they're both married that's a bit wierd (frfr pls)

User5: I know Y/N read that twitter thread and then giggled with all the chaos she made with this photo

Liked by yourusername

User6: Aus GP photo dump but without Oscar!!! OUTRAGEOUS!

↳Yourusername: Sorry😔 But at lesst there is one Aussie!

↳User7: Y/N only had room for one Australian and it had to be her fav.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Aussiegrit

Aussiegrit: This isn't the way we wanted the world to find out but with the ever invasive paparazzi, I am finally able to show the love of my life off.

Liked by yourusername, Oscarpiastri and 2,897,543 others

View all 35,986 comments

User1: I KNEW IT!!!! I AM SOBBING RN MY BIGGEST SHIP (FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS IS AFLOAT)

↳ Yourusername: We've been married for 7 actually :)

↳User2: Have I just died and ascended into heaven? What is this that I'm hearing?

Yourusername: Love you, the love of MY life 🤍

↳Aussiegrit: Love you more🖤

↳Yourusername: Not possibleeee

↳Aussiegrit: It is because I said so (also when are you coming home?)

↳Yourusername: It doesn't work like that (half an hour, I've just need to finish one last thing and then I'm yours)

↳Aussiegrit; Yes I does (I can't wait to see you. Love you, more than you'll ever love me)

↳Yourusername: No🤍 (And no🤍 but see you soon)

User3: I'm I'm happy for them (I'm crying my eyes out)

User4: The white and black hearts omddd. Its like they complete each other!

Liked by yourusername, Aussiegrit

User5: I want what they have pls🙏

↳User6: Fr. I also want their secret jeering skills because 7 years if marriage and however long of dating being a secret is so impressive

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @minkyungseokie

#f1 x reader #f1 #formula 1 #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #mark webber x reader #mark webber #mark webber x you #mark webber x y/n #mark webber x fem!reader #mark webber smau #f1 smau #ldah's writing

204 notes · View notes

socksandbuttons · 3 months

Note

I didn't want to comment on it at first but I will now- Hearing the words leaving Eclipse's mouth made me raise an eyebrow so badly LMAO I was like "That's some interesting choice of words there, my guy"

...

I mean, I wouldn't mind Solar kneeling in front of me though What? Who said that? 👀

- Unhinged Solar lover

HE TRULY JUST fbvjksds Wild choice of words man, im sure there was aless wierd way he couldve said all that. anyway bbg male wife will kneel

#the king kneels before you instead vdbkjss #the talk of kneeling only remindd me of servant eclipse too but another day #its male wife hours #sams solar #myart #sun and moon show

196 notes · View notes

littlelightfish · 23 days

Text

We alredy know what's Chilchuck's worst nightmare. What if I told you that it was canon?

His daughters have alredy been eaten. His wife was eaten too. His family are all dead. His worst nightmare has come truth. And he for sure feels like it's partially his fault, because it's the Winged Lion doing, yes, but who helped Laios get here? Chilchuck. And who's daughters and wife are now dead because of it? Chilchuck's. The suggestion of recreating them tells us that they've alredy been eaten. The way he says it makes it feel like it's too late. They're dead. Because of him. Of his actions. Of his job. The irony of it all is actually quite cruel. He makes a union so he can prevent bad things to happen to his race, to his family, and then, and he works at the union. And now, because of his job, he got them all killed.

He doesn't even know how his daughters are until way later, I don't even know if in the manga they send letters to him during the feast, because I know they don't go to said feast. So Chilchuck doesn't know if his girls are alright until, again, way later. We know they don't die because, well, there's this comic of them going to meet Laios, the new king. But if not for that, who could tell us they didn't die on the monster appearances? I can imagine that after the feast Chil went stright to check on them. Because he loves his daughters, and he cares for his wife. He sucks at communicating it, yes, but he does.

He doesn't want to risk his family's safety. But he, unknowingly, unwillingly, indirectly, did. He got them eaten by those demons because he helped his friends achieve his goal. Because he cared about Falin and wanted her to be human again. Because he cared about Laios and didn'twanted to see him loose his sister. Because he cared about Marcille, Senshi and Itsuzumi. He cares so much about everyone and wants to help everyone (in his own way), that he doesn't think that the result would, inevitably so, be the worst outcome for him. The one in wich work and private life get mixed together. His job as a member of Laios's party ended dragging his family in, despite his best efforts. His job ended up, not only endangering the whole word with demons, but his family. His four precious girls. It ended up almost killing them (probably it killed them for some time because getting eaten by those demons works wierd).

Worst part? He didn't have the time to be mourn over what he 100% sure thought was the complete loss of his family. He was in a hurry to survive himself, so he pushed those sad feelings and tried his best to help who he had left. Later on he finds out that the demons spitted out people. And he seems shocked with some kind of surprised relief.

He looks how everyone that got eaten was alive. And he can't quite either believe it nor understand it. He is really confused. So they didn't die? Are my daughters ok? Is my wife ok? Did everybody survived? Are they alive? He dares to hope that they're all ok and pulls into a box his feelings again, saving it up for when he has the time to be overwhelmed about this all. He has a feast, trying not to worry, but worried sick. Then he goes home and checks on them.

Give this poor man a break and a beer...

#do not.#make him miserable #make him suffer #because #he is a father and a husband and is worried sick about his family well-being all the time #they are why he acts like he does #why he tries to keep family and work in separate rooms #but he fails so catastrophically its almost comical #like #luckily they were alright #but its a miracle his hair doesn't turn white right away #maybe he writed a letter to his daughters during the prepararions for the feast #that would explain why he doesn't have a single white hair after this #but we'll say he disnt for the sake of angst #dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #chilchuck angst #dunmeshi #dunmeshi angst #dungeon meshi angst #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #if you want to write something about this #dm me the fic #i NEED TO SEE THE ANGST #@ me if you don't want to dm me but i might not see it because it would get lost in my notifs :(#my shit

114 notes · View notes

reblogs-and-writings · 11 days

Text

Inspired by @chaifootsteps

Everyone's sending in their Hazbin character rewrites, and that looked fun so I want to toss my own hat into the ring. Sorry for the long post. What really bothers me most about Hazin Hotel is that it claims to be a show about redemption, but it seems to be a show about lack of consequence. The reasons why the characters are in hell are never really explained. There are things you can infer about certain people: Alastor's murder, Husk's gambling, Angel's drug use, etc. However, the show never explains why those behaviors are wrong and how they can improve. More often than not, those behaviors are used as jokes. It's funny to have a cannibal town. Angel Dust's name is a pun on the drug that killed him. It's just tonally very wierd to purport that anyone can be redeemed, ANYONE, even people in HELL, can be redeemed and then not continue that very messy and difficult ethical conversation.

Nifty is boy-crazy. Taken to its extreme, what can that mean? What causes attraction so vile it sends you to hell? Was she was one of those "Boy Moms" who excuses his son's horrid actions at the expense of women's safety? Did she cover up a rape her child committed, because Mother's special little boy couldn't possible do something so vile! Or maybe she didn't love her children enough. Maybe her obsession with "bad boys" comes from being forced into an extremely suffocating and unhappy marriage. Maybe she ran off with some 50s biker. Maybe she abandoned her children because she was too obsessed with being loved herself that she couldn't love her children if it meant not having a man's attention. Maybe her boy craziness evolved into a raving jealousy if she didn't get her feelings reciprocated. She's a maid, right? She wants things clean and tidy. Did she murder a man? Did she spend hours scrubbing the floor so none of his blood would remain? Then maybe her arc could be about loving herself and not needing a man to define her identity. Maybe it could be unpacking internalized misogyny and coming to terms with the real pain she caused other women.

Mimzy is opportunistic. She only comes around when she needs a favor. She has no loyalty and only uses Alastor to get her out of problems. Why is she like that? Who taught her that relationships were transactional instead of committal? Maybe she was once a naive young girl who got 'used' for something, and it soured her opinion on other people. I mean, she's plus-sized during the FLAPPER era, where thin was like 1990s level of in. But there's a lot of plus-sized women who talk about being some guy's sneaky link, because he wants to prey on her insecurity and get her into bed, but then never be seen with her, because she's not a socially acceptable dating option. Did Mimzy get her heart broken, and now she doesn't trust anyone? Now she just uses people for what they're good for, because hurt people hurt people, and she's continuing a cycle she herself was a victim to? Maybe Mimzy's redemption could be about letting people in, about not letting trauma turn her into a bad person.

Husk is an alcoholic and a gambling addict. Most people don't just pick up those hobbies for the fun of it. Husk is a miserable little man, and he was probably driven to drink because of his own unhappiness. He was pansexual in the 1970s, right? Maybe he couldn't accept himself or he was forced to not accept himself. Maybe he was forced into a loveless marriage, and he started to go out to the casino to get away from the wife and family he never wanted. But more and more and more he spends time over there, because he doesn't want to go home. And soon he becomes dependent on booze and gambling because it gives him a little joy in his miserable life. But addiction doesn't hurt just the addicted person. It hurts everyone around him. He starts skipping work to gamble. He loses his job. He steals money from his wife. He bets the car. Then the house. He leaves his family destitute, and he's convinced he's the victim because he never wanted to be a husband and father in the first place. When he dies of alcohol poisoning, his family doesn't even claim his body. His redemption could be about how when your own life sucks, it's not an excuse to hurt others. You have to find better ways to cope with a bad hand.

Angel Dust is too many things. He's a prostitute and a porn star and a gay man in the 30s and a gangster and a drug-addict. But if we were gonna try and make all of that make sense, Angel Dust is very family-oriented. He grew up in a mob family. Loyalty is EVERYTHING. So in his mind, killing people was a lesser sin than "betraying" his family by not getting rid of their enemies. His family is everything to him. So he can't be gay. He can't. He can't. He's SO repressed. He refuses to acknowledge it. He spends his entire, short life, trying to fit the mold of a perfect, loyal son. But… he did kill a LOT of people… So when he dies in some shoot out, he goes to hell, and he snaps. He did EVERYTHING he thought was right. He did everything his family told him to do. He was the perfect son, and when he dies he gets sent to hell. He immediately loses all inhibition. He's still a sex/drug addict, but only after he winds up in hell. He's going to spend eternity giving into every single base desire he denied himself while alive. It's destroying him. He's selling himself to men, but deep down he's still ashamed and wondering what his family would think. He drowns out those thoughts with more sex and drugs. Angel's redemption arc is about balance. Yes, he should have been able to be true to himself while alive, but complete indulgence is just as hurtful to him as complete denial.

Sir Pentious… why is he even in hell? I mean, he's a little annoying, and in the pilot he was involved in a gang war, but what did he do in life to justify being sent to hell? Well, he was a Victorian Englishman, so I'm gonna say racism! Horrible racism and colonialsim. He was raised in a time where those were the dominant thought patterns, and he did not analyze them one bit. Conflict can come when black-coded characters like Alastor and Husk expect to be treated like human beings. And Charlie has to face the difficulty of believing a person can change, but how to deal with the current harm they're causing the people she cares about. Maybe Sir Pentious isn't a recorring cast member. Maybe he came to the hotel because he thinks he should be in Heaven. He brought glory to the British empire. He was a kind gentleman. He donated to charities. But he leaves the hotel because he doesn't think "those people" are good enough for Heaven. He refuses to acknowledge his behavior as needing to be changed, but Charlie tells him there is a spot at the hotel when he's ready to change. His character is about how you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. He can be offered all the chances in the world to be better, but until he can come to terms with his own capacity for evil, he can't be redeemed.

Cherry Bomb doesn't exist, because she's a superfluous character that doesn't fit in my rewrite. Sir Pentious doesn't get a love interest, and Angel Dust's friend is now Vaggie.

No fallen angel crud. Vaggie was a prostitute that got murdered like Viv originally planned for her to be like 10 years ago. I think Vaggie shows some really codependent traits in the show. Charlie seems to be her entire world. She sings about being her armor. She's willing to put herself in harm's way to defend her, even die for her. She doesn't seem to care much about the other patron's of the hotel apart from them being facet's of Charlie's dream. Maybe Vaggie was one of those poor women who gets trafficked by their boyfriend (or maybe girlfriend in her case). A single person becomes her whole entire world, and she's willing to do ANYTHING for them. Even put herself in dangerous situations that lead to her death… But she did it for love! <3 She hurts herself for love.. for approval. And maybe the show can get into a conversation about what sin really is. So many people define sin as harmed caused to others, but what about harm caused to yourself? Viv originally stated that Vaggie's feelings for Charlie were one-sided, and I think that detail would be even more poignant in this interpretation of her character. She's trying so hard to be noticed and to be loved, and Charlie's become a goddess in her eyes. She puts her on such a pedastal she has no room for her own worth. Her arc is maybe a bit too similiar to Nifty's depending on how we choose to interpret her character, but it's also about finding identity outside of others and being able to set boundaries. Because loving someone and wanting to help them and wanting to protect them are not bad impulses, but like anything else, when taken to extremes it becomes something bad. Dependency can twist love into obession.

Lucifer is the Devil! He's evil! No sad-man, Dad-trying-his-best nonsense! He's evil! The big twist of Hazbin Hotel is that they're not in Hell! They're in Purgatory. There are no sins that cannot be forgiven, but sin can also not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Purgatory is a place where your sins are burned away so that eventually you can join God in heaven. In Purgatorio, Dante depicts Purgatory as a place of effort. People are in constantly motion striving to get closer to heaven. Purgatory in Hazbin could be a place where people get a second chance to work on their vices. If they couldn't be a good person in life, then they have all of eternity to try again. But Lucifer, the prince of LIES, has convinced everyone they're in Hell. There is no redemption. There is no getting better. He causes the sinners to fall into a great despair. Why try getting better if there is no hope? So when people learn they're in hell, they dig in their heels. They lean even further into vice. They cannot experience love or laughter or joy again. So they settle for booze and sex and violence, anything to numb the pain of knowing they're trapped forever. But is a hell of their own making, little do they know. By tricking generations of sinners, not a single soul has redeemed itself and gotten to heaven in centuries. That's why no one believes it's possible. That's why when Charlie suggests it, he's furiously disapproving of her. He doesn't want people to get better. He doesn't want to improve. He wants everyone to be as miserable as he is, because misery loves company. But he can't tip his hat too much or the older souls might get suspicious. He is the Prince of Lies. His power comes not from strength but from manipulation. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. In Hazin, the greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing people there's no hope for themselves. I was once told that Judas's great sin was not betraying Jesus, but his own suicide after falling into despair. How glorious it would have been to go to a church named after Judas the Repentent. But alas, it is not so. The greatest sin you can commit against yourself is thinking you're too far gone.

And that's why I think Alastor is the central sinner to the narrative. Because he shares Lucifer's viewpoint. People can't get better. Nothing ever gets better. People are bad or people are good, and you can't be both. And who could blame him for having that idea? Let's just pretend that Alastor's lack of visual black-coding is because he is a VERY white-passing creole man. And because of that, he was treated so differently than his mother. And he was treated differently when people found out about his heritage. He became a big radio host. He was popular. He was famous. But he wasn't seen as an equal human being. He was a performer to be enjoyed, but never a person to be respected. He was "one of the good ones" at BEST. And he believed in the good of people. His mother was such a kind soul. She instilled in him that everyone has good inside of them. So he waited to see it. He waited and he waited, and he only saw increasing racism and violence towards his people. One day he just snaps and kills someone, and he considers it a justice. People like that are never going to change. The world is better without them. So he just keeps murdering racists until he gets shot in the head. And when he finds himself in hell, he believes even LESS in the good of people or God or heaven or whatever. If killing racists sent him to hell, then God is evil, and the idea of objective morality in and of itself is perposterous. Positioning Alastor as a vigilante killer would also make some of his comic depictions make more sense. Like he's a really nice guy to Rosie and other women, but he's also a violent murderous man. It's because he thinks people are good or bad, and if you're bad it justifies whatever he does to you. The cannibalism might also be like a power thing. Alastor's arc is about believing in Charlie's mission, genuinely. Eventually, it's not about watching people stumble and fall, because there's a cosmic humor to the cruelty of the universe. He starts to genuinely see people improve, but he fights against the idea, because his life was defined by static, perpetual, instituional evil. Maybe a soul gets redeemed before his very eyes, and he still doesn't believe it. Because to admit a human's capacity for moral growth is to completely restructure his entire understanding of the world, and that's scary.

Finally, Charlie. Princess of Hell. I've always been rather fond of Tolkien's sentiment that evil cannot create, only corrupt. So I don't think Lucifer is her real father. I think Charlie was like… a baby angel. And when Lucifer was leading his rebellion he stole children and forced them to fall to hell with him. It was just another way to bring misery, forcing the innocent to share the burden of his punishment. I think he got a sick pleasure from raising her. He "loved" her, or at least she thought he did. He was very, very good as playing Father. Prince of Lies and all that. He gets a chuckle knowing she's so happy here rotting in hell and has no idea what she's missing from her true destiny in Heaven. But that goodness inside of her can't be extinguished. She's an angel. She has a natural instinct to help human souls and fight evil. But because she was raised in Hell, she doesn't understand the complexities of sin that the elder angels would have informed her about. She's naive, and she certainly has to learn how to help guide people towards a brighter path, but she doesn't change her stance. So many times characters who believe in the good of people end stories with some pessimistic maturity where they realize that some people can't be helped. But Charlie doesn't change. Charlie stands firm at the end of the series believing that EVERYONE can be redeemed. It won't be easy, and you could argue it's not even fair, but she believes it. Lucifer chastises her, saying it'll take an eternity to change a sinner's mind, but she just smiles. Because an eternity is what she has, and she'll spend it helping people.

Also Chalastor is canon.

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazin hotel rewrite #adam and lute don't exist because heaven is actually good in this rewrite #also the vees might exist but definitely not in the form they do now #the extermination is done by lucifer and the other demons #they get their kicks watching sinners scream and run and beg for their afterlives #it also causes a false sense of scarcity which makes them act even worse to each other

48 notes · View notes

denial-permanente · 22 days

Note

Good afternoon,

I am a long time follower of your blog and have learned a lot from your writing. My wife is interested in a more realistic faux penis for use in me, I showed her the Vixskin website that you recommend. They are not prohibitively expensive. However, it is pricey to try and possibly miss. Can you be a bit more specific in your recommendation for model of faux penis?

Best regards and thank you!

🔏 I have no idea what you and your wife might enjoy in bed; that's something that the both of you will need to discuss. However, when we were initially looking at them, I determined that a model with the flat round base would be easier to position in the harness than one with testicles. Further, the flat base allows you to have it sit lower on your hips for a more natural angle of entry. The testicles would likely sit atop the cage, making it award or uncomfortable.

The Tex is sized like the "average" man. Most women are less concerned with length, and get more enjoyment from girth. If you're going to size up a bit, go with something a little thicker instead of longer.

They come in different skin tones, and you might want to think about how that fits into your dynamic. Some coues choose a black or dark brown one because it points up the disconnect between the caged equipment and the one being used. In our case, we went with the natural vanilla to blend in with my body, as Mrs Edge considers it to be "me" now, and a different skin town would have made it wierd for her.

Finally, remember to have fun picking one out together. These are quality sex toys, and will give you literally years of pleasure. Don't go with porn star huge right away; you want your wife to be comfortable, not sore and bruised.

#chastity question #foxing

46 notes · View notes

shadesofdeviant · 11 days

Text

Random 9-1-1 Thoughts

Listen, I love Buddie. I've been a Buddie clown since Eddie's very first episode. Buck made a face at Eddie getting dressed, Whatta man played and I went "...well shit" as my fingers took a life of their own and started writing fic.

I also adore BuckTommy, Or TEvan or whatever wierd name we're going with. The chemistry was beautiful, it felt natural and passionate in a way none of Buck's previous relationships have and I am HERE for it.

But if we are going to get Eddie having a sexuality crisis of his own...

Do you know what I'd like to happen? For Eddie to be somewhere on the Ace spectrum. whether sexual or romantic or both.

The man who has only really felt comfortable both romantically and physically with his late wife who was his high school sweetheart.

Who forms strong platonic friendships that to most outsiders might look romantic or flirtatious in nature, but the concept of which never crosses his mind.

Who moves too fast and fails to let that bond develop, or pushes himself into doing what society/family expects of him and then wonders why he ends up having literal panic attacks.

This man says he hates being forced to date, who stresses about performing normally on them. He judges his eligibility with women based on how much time he wants to spend with them, based on the idea of them, how much his kid likes them, not because they're attractive or he feels a connection with them. Who complains that sex complicates things, who gets teased mercilessly by the others for not being good at dating or knowing what to do. Who freaks out at the idea of being set up on dates and then promptly drops said blind date like a hot potato and yet somehow ends up with a new friend.

I'd adore for Buddie to go canon.

I'd adore for BuckTommy to remain canon.

I would go feral for Queer Platonic Buddie (maybe with extra Tommy) where Eddie comes to terms with the fact he's not broken or weird, that he's perfectly fine just the way he is, that he doesn't need to follow societal norms and can get everything he needs from those around him without having to throw himself into something alloromantic/sexual.

I also really feel like I need to write this so...I guess it's on the list haha.

#rintrash #9-1-1 #Eddie Diaz #Evan 'Buck' Buckley #Buddie #Tommy Kinard #BuckTommy #I am an acespectrum!Eddie truther #Whether thats ace or aro or demi or gray etc.#I see so much of myself in him at times #This is just me rambling haha #Feel free to ignore me

43 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

Hey !

About stark reader and daemon, can you do one where they are drunk and tgey go to theire quarters and just straight up start dancing ?

Im talking about the twist and those wierd 50/60 moves and maybe they are singing and the fam wanders whats going on and when they peep throw the door

Merry christmas 🎄

Milk Punch

[Blurb V for the Stark!Reader Universe]

Daemon Targaryen x Stark!Reader

Summary: You were drunk out of your mind and your husband is loving every second of it.

Word Count: >800

Warnings: fem!reader, wife!reader, mentions of heavy drinking/drunkenness, daemon simp, heavily implied sexy times, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: lol merry new year i only got back to this now T_T but i hope it was worth the wait aslfhaslfhlashflaslfashf i did change a few things i hope thats ok im luv u nonnie this is set before they have kids so this gif is so large but who cares i love him look at him look at my evil meow meow i want him so bad also milk punch is apparently the older name or an older name of egg nog soooo the more you know Tagging: @deniixlovezelda @pinksirensong @targeryenmoony also the lovely @nyctophilic0vitnir i hope this will suffice for now since i have not gotten to writing your req yet Part IV

"Daor, daor," I slurred "nyke daor, daor, daor-"

Daemon grabs me, one hand on my waist the other on my cheek, saying something impressively long and eye-wideningly hard to understand in High Valyrian.

I burp in my mouth as the prince asks, "did you sneak yourself some wine?"

"Daor." No.

His narrowed eyes scrutinize my face, "did you drink milk punch?

"Daor."

Daemon sighs, knowing that was in fact, not true.

"Daor," I say.

"I didn't say anything."

"Daor..."

He sighs. 100% inebriated.

"Daor-"

"That the only thing you know, love?"

I sigh, relaxing fully against his arms. Daemon's eye widens when I begin to fall back. His hands quickly dart to my sides, propping me up, gathering me into his chest, "alright, that's enough."

I pout, brows knitting, "daor!"

He rolls his eyes, "if you can tell me--" he bends down. I squeak when he grabs me below my hind and throws me over his shoulder. Daemon huffs, beginning to walk off, "--another word in High Valyrian other than no, I'll let you drink to your heart's content, pup."

I hiccup, then sigh in pain due to the involuntary tightening of my chest and throat. I think for a long while as the sight of the table where a bunch of stuffy royals were seated quickly becomes smaller. I wave at Rhaenyra when she says good night.

"Last chance," Daemon says right before he reaches the door, "ȳdragon naejot nyke, ñuha jorrāelagon."

Speak to me, my love.

I think, "daor."

Daemon rolls his eyes, promptly exiting the dining hall.

When he sets me down, I'm shocked that we're in our chambers, "when did we get here?"

Daemon spins me around and begins to undo the laces on my back, "what do you mean? We never left our chambers."

"What?!" my jaw drops as I gasp. I move to turn to him, but he holds me back, muttering something incoherent in another language.

Daemon pulls my dress down and I step out of my dress, dashing across the room, throwing arms up in the air, making my thin shift dress flow with my movements. I begin to spin and giggle, stopping only because I begin to lose my balance and fear falling.

"What are you doing?" the man across me asks. When my line of sight is not so blurry, I blink twice and run towards him.

My husband's face contorts, he settles me on my feet, "that is not dancing, little girl."

"Easy!" he snaps, lunging forward to catch me before I face plant.

I look up at him, blowing back the dark streaks of my hair, reaching out to brush back his light ones with a grin, "dancing!"

I twist my face in offence, grabbing him by his waist to pull him towards me, "I'll have you know I'm the-" I cut myself off when I trip on Daemon's feet.

"Gods help us," he sighs, setting me back up.

I huff, tightening my grip on his clothes, "-premier dancer of the North."

Daemon rolls his eyes, hands slipping down to the small of my back. I begin to lead us into a slow dance and he steadily picks up on my movements. He says, "I do not doubt you, beloved," but I am uncertain if he doubted me.

I sigh, leaning my head onto his chest, "Cregan made fun of me whenever I danced. He said I was trying too hard to be a lady."

The sound of his hum echoes in my ear, "I can emasculate him," he mutters, hand coming up to my head, "castrate the only thing manly about that dog."

I close my eyes, sighing as I feel the combing of my hair.

"I'll make sure to make up for his loss by breeding plenty pups into my bride," he rests his chin on my head.

I spin myself in his grip then jump towards him, throwing my arms over his shoulders as I continue to lead us to the music in my head.

"Kepa," I mutter pulling away from him.

He grabs my hand, pulling me close to him, "what was that?"

"Did you just call me kepa, my lady?"

I purse my lips in thought.

"Kessa ao mazverdagon nyke iā kepa, jorrāelagon?" Daemon smirks.

Will you make me a father, love?

I yawn at the sound of the words I do not understand.

Daemon recoils, "you smell like you drink for sport."

I knit my brows, "I drank as much as you!"

"And that was your mistake."

Daemon pushes me back to spin me around. I do not enjoy it because I feel the sloshing of my stomach. I hold back the liquid that threatens up my throat.

Daemon snatches me forward, lips curved into a smirk, "you don't look so good."

"I want to go to bed."

His nostrils flare in amusement, "I agree."

I yelp softly when I am swept off my feet and carried to our bed. I tense from where I was sat down when Daemon walks away. I relax only when I realize he was only putting out the lights. When my husband walks back, I bite my lip in anticipation of his movements.

He catches this, lips quirking upward as he rids himself of his clothing. He tilts his head in thought, "does this excite you?"

I nod.

He licks his lips, "do you want to play then, wolf?"

I nod once more, shifting in my place so I could reach out to him.

Daemon walks forward, pushing my black locks back as he allows me to take over the task of undressing him. He hums, "such a sweet girl for her dragon."

I nod again, looking up at him.

He chuckles, "iksan jāre naejot qogralbar ao sīr qopsa."

I'm going to fuck you so hard.

#daemon targaryen x reader #daemon fanfic #daemon targaryen #daemon x you #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x you #house of the dragon fanfic #hotd fanfic #daemon targaryen fanfic #daemon fluff #daemon targaren fluff

535 notes · View notes

arc-misadventures · 11 months

Note

Rebirth AU question: does Jaune still have his white streaks in the new life? I think it be pretty cool if he did and since there is a real life condition called Poliosis it wouldn't be considered that wierd.

Family Bonding

Jeanne: Uhh, Jaune, is your hair turning white?

Jaune: Seems so…

Jeanne: Doesn’t that only happen when you’re old?

Jaune: Well, it was a side effect after I returned from the, Ever After. Maybe I just picked it up?

Jeanne: Well, while it’s a bit weird that, that’s happening to you, since everything that has happened to you. But, you looked absolutely great with those white streaks in your hair in our past life.

Jaune: I know, Rin absolutely loved it.

Jeanne: Rin absolutely loved you. Hell she had a daughter with you. Even if she knew you couldn’t be there for you, she loved you enough to conceive a child with you, and what a wonderful child she was.

Jaune: …

Jeanne: Jaune?

Jaune: …

Jeanne: Jaune, are you okay?

Jaune: This world is our second chance at life… my second chance of living a happier life. A life without the pain, and all the rage I endured in that life. And, if there’s anything, anything in this life I want more than anything else… I want the life I could have had with, Rin. I want to live my life with the daughter I never had… I want that happy life…

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: I thought you were fine with not being there for them?

Jaune: Not really… I was okay that I couldn’t be there to help her, but… I wish I was… I just wish I could have been there for the both of them. See her grow up, and become the fine woman, and huntress you said she became. I can’t help but feel like the deadbeat dad who abandoned his pregnant wife, and child. We were okay with what we did, but…

Jeanne: Don’t worry, Jaune, you’ll find her, and get to live that life you never had.

Jaune: I hope so… I know I plan to do that with, Pyrrha, and May if she’s here to. I want to live those lives I could only dream of.

Jeanne: Tell me… Is there… Anyone else you want to live those lives with…?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Maybe, Nora?

Jeanne: Jaune! You know I was talking about me!

Jaune: Hehehe! I know, Jeanne. It’s just…?!

: Ohhhh~!

JJ: …

: Mmmm-AH~!

Jaune: …

Jeanne: That’s not mom, is it?

Jaune: No… I think it’s…

: AHHHH~! That’s it darling, right there~!

JJ: Willow Schnee.

Jeanne: Well, that didn’t take as long as I hoped.

Jaune: Couldn’t wait until we were…

: Ohhh~! Right there baby~! Right there~!

Jeanne: Oh there’s, Mom!

Jaune: They’re having a threesome, good for them. We’re leaving now!

Jeanne: I’ve already sent a message to the others, they’re already heading to the storage house, and grabbing their gear.

Jaune: Okay, lets grab our usual stuff, and get the hell out of here!

Jeanne: We should also grab an extra sleeping bag, and at least a four person tent.

Jaune: What, why?

Jeanne: For, Winter. We aren’t leaving her here with that are we?

Jaune: No, that’s a good point, I didn’t even think about her. Lets go do that, but uhh… where is she?

Jeanne: I don’t know, do you have her number?

Jaune: Nope. You?

Jeanne: Me neither. Shit. We need to find, and quick. Before…

Winter: Before what?

Jaune: Ah! Winter! What fortuitous timing! We need to go, now!

Winter: Why?

Jeanne: The less said the better. Come on we have to go!

Winter: Not until I talk with my mother, then I’ll go on whatever it is you want me to go with you for.

Jeanne: That’s not a good idea.

Winter: Why not?

Jeanne: Well…!!

: OHHH YESSSSS~!

JJW: …

Winter: W-What… Was that…?

Jaune: By the gods! Were on the pouch, and we can still hear them!

Winter: Wait! Are you parents having sex; Was that your mother?!

JJ: That wasn’t our mother.

Winter: W-W-What…?!

: That’s it dear! OOOHHH YEAH~! Just like that~!

JJ: That’s our mom.

Winter: What?! What’s going on?!!

~~~

Winter: …

Winter: So… Considering how you had all this camping equipment just sitting there, you’ve had to do this before haven’t you?

Jaune: I think we were six the first time we did this.

Jeanne: Four; it was after Angela was born.

Jaune: Really? I don’t remember that.

Winter: Wait, this has been happening since you were four years old?!

Jeanne: Yeah pretty much.

Jaune: Yeah, if, Saphire’s pregnancy didn’t end up with, Mom being infertile, we would have at least six more siblings.

Jeanne: Luna’s probably already started a betting pool that we’ll have another one.

Winter: But, if your mother is infertile, that means what was that betting pool, Luna mentioned was all about?

Jeanne: That the betting pool, Luna made is on when it is born, if it’s a boy, or a girl, and if it’s twins.

Jaune: Good gods… please tell me she didn’t do that. Luna seriously didn’t make a betting pool on that!

Winter: WHAT?!! You degenerates are betting on whether, or not my mom gets pregnant?!

Jaune: Not me! I never take part in these bets. But, the rest of them are. And, if you think that’s bad, then I would love to hear your opinion on the betting pool involving me.

Winter: Do I want to…?

Jaune: Actually, I don’t want to hear your opinion on that..

Winter: Okaybthen.

Jeanne: The pool is on which sibling sleeps, and/or takes, Jaune’s virginity~!

Winter: What?!

Jaune: Jeanne?!

Jeanne: I’m currently holding the lead~! While you coming into the top ten, Winter.

Winter: I’m in the top ten…? No wait! I’m on the list?!

Jaune: And, you wondered why I wanted to shank one of my sisters with a rusty spoon.

Winter: Oh good gods… I thought dealing with, Weiss, and Whitely’s antics was a nightmare. But, the rest of my siblings are worse… So, so much worse.

Jaune: Siblings…? You referred to us as, ‘siblings.’

Jeanne: Do you see us as your siblings, Winter?

Winter: …

Winter: I’ve only been around you guys for a week… I’ll acknowledge that we are siblings by blood, but by bond… I… I need more time…

Jeanne: Take your time, we’ll be here when you need us, Oneesan.

Winter: Grk! Good gods why does that hit so hard?!

Jaune: You’re not used to genuine love, and affection.

Winter: You heard me?!

JJ: Yep!

Winter: You two are unnerving in how surprising you can be… You two are exceptionally skilled students, too skilled in fact. You have incredibly strong, and versatile semblances that you know the ins, and outs of by heart. You seem to have extreme knowledge about me, and my family. Even about things I never told you about… None of this makes sense. What are you…?

Jaune: We get that a lot… Were just a pair of hunters-in-training, nothing more.

Winter: Nonetheless, you two know quite a lot about me, especially you, Jeanne. Why is that??

Jeanne: Even if we told you, you wouldn’t believe us. I wouldn’t believe it, and I was a part of it.

Winter: Try me.

Jaune: Should we…? She is family after all.

Jeanne: By blood, but not by bond.

Jaune: She must earn the rights to our secrets then?

Jeanne: Yep, and I have the perfect way she can earn it!

Winter: How?

Jeanne: Specialist have a special program that allows you to take on a protégé, correct?

Winter: It does, why do you…?! Wait, you want me to be your mentor?!

Jeanne: Yep, I shall become your beautiful little protégé~! What do you say?

Winter: You can’t be serious.

Jeanne: Why not? You’ve seen how good I am, I wouldn’t be a burden to you.

Winter: …

Jeanne: Come on, it would be a great learning experience for me! Imagine all the things you could teach me!

Winter: I don’t know…

Jeanne: I’ll give you a hug if you say yes~?

Winter: You seriously think that would work, on me no less?

Jeanne: Yes.

Winter: …

Winter: Haaa… It will take some explaining to my superiors. But, fine… I will take you on as my protégé.

Jeanne: Whoo! Thanks, Winter!

Winter: Yes, yes, you’re very welcome… Please let go of me…

Jeanne: No~!

Winter: Grrrrr…!

Jaune: When did you decide on doing this, Jeanne.

Jeanne: A while after our first duel. Since you’re leaving to, Vale to do some training with our uncle. I thought, why can’t I do the same with my, Oneesan?

Jaune: Fair, but are you really okay with this, Winter. Jeanne can be a bit of a handful, especially when using her semblance.

Winter: Jeanne will be an exceptionally skilled, Huntress. The skill she has shown me will prove that to be true. While she does seem a bit unruly, I think she will go far. And… Why not spend more time with my little sister?

Jeanne: (Gasp!) Oneesan~!

Winter: Grk?! Jeanne?! Let go! You’re chocking me!

Jaune: Well, everything seems fine then. Now come on, we got a fire going, lets have ourselves some smores!

Jeanne: Yes! Smores!

Winter: Uhhh… what’s a smore?

JJ: …

Jeanne: What blasphemy is this…?!

Winter: W-What?

Jaune: No wonder she’s so uptight; she doesn’t even know what a smore is!

Winter: Excuse me?!

#rwby #jaune arc #jeanne arc #juniper arc #acheius arc #willow schnee #winter schnee #roman torchwick #lie ren #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #may zedong

146 notes · View notes

oizysian · 22 hours

Note

Hi, I normally don't do stuff like this but I just think it's really wierd and mean to hate someone just because you like their partner, like robbie literally seems like the sweetest man and a really good husband in all the interviews they do together so why hate and not just be happy that Lizzie is haply and in love instead of being jealous?

Hi! I don’t hate him, he seems very nice and I’m very happy that she’s happy, but I will forever be jealous of him because he has the most perfect wife and I do not.

But realistically, I’m very happy for them and all of their joint success. That doesn’t mean I see what she sees in him (plus I’m not much of a man lover if you catch my drift lol) and I like to poke fun at him a little bit.

Irl he’s soft spoken and seems very kind so I’m happy Lizzie found someone she could love and trust in him.

#oizysian talks #anon ask #anon answered

8 notes · View notes

sunsetsmakemesad · 8 months

Text

The Tsugikuni twins make me so-??? I love them so much. They're so sweet yet so tragic and it hurts my very soul.

From birth they were separated and not allowed to see each other even though they were literally t w i n s. This would have been sad already if it were siblings, but twins???

Granted, they couldn't form much of a connection, but they met with each other every now and then. Michikatsu pitied his brother, and Yorichi admired his. Though they were somewhat starting to create a bond, it all came crashing down because of how different they were.

Yorichi was a natural with the sword, yet he was sensitive and didnt like hurting others.

Michikatsu was average at best, but he didn't care much for how his opponents ended up and in the end only cared about being the strongest.

Now imagine you are Michikatsu, youre training like usual, then you see your brother. He talks, and then smiles, things you've never seen him do. Then he says he wants to be a samurai alongside you, asks if he can try wielding a sword, and then OBLITERATES, the man you struggled to beat, with a literal bamboo stick. I'd be shocked, and him feeling jealousy isn't at all unnatural.

Then, to top it all of, his little brother DOESNT CARE. He did what you were trying to do for years WITH EASE, and HE DOESNT CARE. He's asking to fly kites. Kites. As if the situation isn't bad enough, apparently he can see through bodies. What.

Now let's look at it from Yorichi's perspective. He's been quiet for years, too afraid to stand out too much because he might bring demise to the whole family(this was mentioned in a sengoku rumour)(like taisho rumours but for the sengoku era) and now hes feeling very happy and carefree, so he speaks up to his brother, he wants to play with him, like any 7 year old would, so he wants to do something his brother likes: sword fighting. He soon learns that he doesn't like it, because it involves hitting people. He thinks it's boring, so he asks to fly kites. He also finds it wierd how his brother is asking about simple things like the see-through stuff. Everyone can see through bodies, right.

There's a LOT of misunderstanding in this relationship. Anyway, as we see from these two scenes, each twin values something different. Michikatsu wants to get better at wielding a sword, because it's all he's ever known, Yorichi wants to spend time with his brother. It's kinda sad, honestly.

Michikatsu wanted power, but he was always beneath his brother, who DIDNT EVEN CARE about what he yearned for so much. He had family, but oh well, not more important than samurai stuff.

Yorichi HAD power, but he didnt want it. He wanted to bond with his brother, later on, to spend the rest of his days with his wife, hold his unborn baby, he didn't get to do either of that.

I love them so much they make me so sad.

Lol sorry for my ramblings, anyway this is my first analysis(ish?) so I hope It makes sense.

#kny #demon slayer #yorichi #michikatsu #kokushibo #kny yorichi #kny kokushibo #analysis #kny analysis

25 notes · View notes

defaultnaming · 5 months

Text

WARNING: COULD BE CONSIDERED CRITICAL OR ANTI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE DW CRITIQUE

First thoughts:

I'll be honest, I went into the episode a bit biased, 10 is nowhere close to a good doctor for me and I dislike the RTD era. But open minds and all that.

I DON'T like the mcu logo. MCUification of DW on main.

I need an in-depth explaination on what regeneration energy does after that ep. Like, how does it make a suit and long coat, ties, a new sonic screwdriver, perfectly fitting glasses and a judges wig (he didn't know he would need it so he would have to have it on him so... how??)

Okay, why the big exposition cold open if you're going to exposit the info in conversation, feels a bit like you wasted time there I'll be honest. Could've went to solving the ep problem cause that was rushed.

The old doctor is back.... and apparently has a personality like at least a couple thousand years haven't passed... okay....

The part about 'Why does everything have to be a big goodbye?' I mean, it seemed really wierd that he would refuse coming for a cuppa because he CAN do that. We've seen it over 15 years, the doctor has developed to do that stuff. Also, bar a few phrases, didn't really see much of 13's personality there and it's shame. DT is a good actor, he could pull it off (I mean, he also could've pulled off the outfit but....), you didn't need to do 10 on repeat .

I like rose! But is she 15 cause.... no? Also, how to tell your trans character is written by cis people: 'DiD YOu jUsT AssUMe tHEIr ProNOUnS!?'

Love the starting her business, didn't like that they made Donna a mum who doesn't respect boundaries but still the support and the plushies were cute and I guess being nosy is in character for her.

Meep was cute! Feel like the meep was suitably menacing and it was peak cheese. Also, Miriam Margoles was perfect for the voice. I also love the bit where the meep was clinging to Donna, brilliant. Also, tactically landing in a steel mill and not being really contrived was good! I also loved that 'living sun' hypnosis, it made sense to me. I also loved the cheesy bug things, they we cute as well and I love that they took the time to explain why the cab never got hit properly cause I was wondering.

Also, Sylvia wanting to KO the doctor on site to keep him from seeing Donna... accurate, funny and I wanted her to do it I'll be honest. Saun temple, absolute king, just drinking respsct wife juice. Like, if my partner gave away that much money I'd divource but he's just better than me.

I love UNIT as this alien first responder force, that was neat. I love that they were inclusive to disabilities and the characters were still suitably badass.

I love the (albiet clumsy) trans positivity in the episode. But let's not give them too much credit, the doctor has been trans and trans positive (with timelords mind) since about 2014.

Didn't like the implication that transmascs are inherently more dim/stupid than transfemmes. Also, that is literally what they said because the text was literally 'if you were female (still a woman) presenting, you'd understand'. I won't lie, as a transmasc person, it kind of hurt. I feel like we should be past the feminism that drags men instead of uplifting women but yeah.

I feel like they undercut the tradgedy of Donna's sacrifice by having her just... be alive. I get she... shared?... the metacrisis but it kind of ruins why Donna was such a tragic figure in DW. Also, gee DoctorDonna, why didn't you just think 'get rid of it' before? Could've saved a lot of trouble. The cracks through London just kind of disappearing when the ship was stopped was wierd but I get it, they need to move onto other things and that would be too big of a distraction.

Also, they're going to visit Wilf yay! Why did the TARDIS redecorate? Why did you then give a workable reason why she would need to reconfigure immediately afterward? I love the design, very retro but again, felt a bit contrived.

All in all, a cheesy, old nu!who episode vibes (I clarify, not my thing) that has some great building blocks and despite the problems, I am looking forward to new episodes to come!

#dw spoilers #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #doctor who special #dw critical #doctor who critical #donna noble #10th doctor #star beast #14th doctor #the doctor #possibly anti?#possibly critical #anti doctor who?

15 notes · View notes

raleighcarreras · 1 year

Text

perfectus

Part 1: and I know I said go slow

Pairing: wanda maximoff x black!fem!reader

Rating: M (language)

Wrd Cnt: 1.5k+ maybe?

Warnings/Tags: friends to lovers, angst, slow-ish burn, eventual smut

Part(s): 2,

Summary: You're determined to be in a committed relationship by Valentine's Day. So what if it's a capitalistic holiday that holds no real significance. In your 25 years of life, you've never had a Valentine and if you make it to 26 the same way, you might just jump out of a window. So, you and your best friend Wanda have 60 days to accomplish the impossible.

Little do you know, your Valentine has been right under your nose the entire time. And Wanda has a plan of her own. Sorta.

Notes: trying my little hand at a rom-com because I get to do whatever I want around here. here's the playlist for this fic. the title song is 365 by Katy Perry & Zedd. Translation done by Google translate of course.

Falling deeper than before. Say that you are ready, lock it up in a heartbeat.

How early was too early for stores to start prepping the shelves for Valentine's day? Christmas was still a week away. Certainly, you would have thought that would be too early.

But the Walgreens closest to your and Wanda's apartment had other ideas. They were shoving the teddy bears with hearts sewn to their paws right next to the teddy bears with santa hats sewn to their heads.

Even worse? They blended together seamlessly because everything was red!

You had crossed your arms and pouted severely as you recounted the blasphemy you had encountered (while trying to retrieve your daily vitamins and a bag of baked cheetos) to your best friend, Wanda Maximoff.

"Are you even listening, Wands?!" You shrieked something serious.

Wanda only peaked one of her eyes opened, "Yeah."

You flopped onto the couch heavily. You threw your feet to one end and laid your head in her lap, "Then what did I say?"

"You said that it was stupid to put the V-day stuff out so early but you only feel that way because it reminds you of how lonely you are."

You stared up at her, "That isn't what I said in the slightest."

"No, but it's what you meant."

You scrunched your nose up in offense, "I don't like you."

Wanda smiled softly, "Liar."

"You smell like smoke."

Wanda laughed out loud at that. She gestured for you to get off her lap so she could extradite herself from the couch, "That's what happens when you're a volunteer firefighter. Sometimes, you encounter fires."

Wanda stretched dubiously, as if to empathize her point. Her wife-pleaser raised above her midriff. You made it a point not to look. You had always been envious(?) of her body in a wierd homoerotic way that you rather not explore.

"Did you save everyone?"

Wanda walked over to the kitchen, probably in search of a Nutri-Grain bar, as was her routine.

"No one to save. Some teen thought it would be funny to light a match next to a newspaper stand."

You stretched your neck over the edge of the couch to see her. She was upside down in your vision, but you would make do.

"My brave bestie."

Wanda mumbled something that you couldn't hear.

"What was that?"

"I said it wasn't really about being brave. I could have thrown a cup of water on it and it would have been fine."

"Well, I still think you're brave. Even though you didn't run into a burning building today, doesn't mean you haven't before. And you're doing it for free? You're a hero in my book."

Wanda's cheeks reddened, "Thanks."

You hummed, "Where's Kaiser?"

"Who? Oh! I locked him in your room."

You gave a scandalized gasp and jumped up. You ran to your room, opening the door to the saddest puppy you have ever seen in your life.

You picked up the german shepherd and husky mix, cuddling him into your chest. You walked back into the livingroom with a scowl.

Wanda huffed, "What? He screams for you when you leave and I was trying to take a nap before I go to the bar."

"Your mommy is so mean, isn't she, my little kaiser roll?" You're 76% sure he nodded at you in confirmation.

"I'm not his mommy. He hates me! Despite having saved him from a tree. He's a dog, why was he in a tree!?"

"He's adventurous and he can smell your fear." You thought back to the day Wanda seemed to reluctantly come back home with a random puppy, despite not having left with one.

She told you that she had to boost Natasha into the tree during one of their shifts and in the process Natasha had stepped on her face to retrieve him. No one else could take him home and they didn't want to drop him off at a shelter because he was clearly not that smart. Wanda drew the short fire hose.

"He's the size of my shoe, I'm not scared of him."

"You're still a bad mom. Say sorry to our son."

Wanda turned to you with an incredulous look that quickly turned exasperated when she saw you were serious, "I'm sorry, Kaiser."

Kaiser gave her a look that was clearly meant to be perceived as triumph over Wanda.

"He said apology accepted."

Kaiser barked.

"No he didn't."

You placed Kaiser down on the floor and watched as he curled into a ball at your feet.

"Anyway, back to the problem I brought up earlier. I refuse to be without a Valentine next year. Tony is inevitably going to rent out your bar for a stupid little love day party and if I don't have a date I think I might explode."

Wanda returned to the livingroom. Kaiser nipped at her ankle when she got decidedly too close to you.

"Who cares if you have a date or not? You normally don't."

Your groan forced you deeper into the couch, "Exactly! All of our friends probably think I'm a loser and unlovable. And...and fuck, I just don't want to spend another year alone."

Wanda's brows furrowed, "You're not alone. You have me. And I know for a fact that you're not a loser and extremely lovable."

You pressed the palms of your hands into your eyes, "You're supposed to say that. You're my best friend. If you didn't think that the bestie police would like arrest you or something."

"That's not a real thing."

"Sure it is. And so is me needing to be boo'd up in the next 60 days." You crossed your arms over your chest.

"I'm still not understanding the rush-"

"Wanda, when was the last time I brought someone home?"

Wanda wished she didn't have to think so hard, "Oh! Three nights ago!"

"That was Pietro. And I definitely didn't fuck him. One, because he's gay, and two, because we were in here the whole night and you were with us!"

"Yeah...okay, last week?"

"That was Natasha." You deadpanned.

"The week before that?"

You rolled your eyes so hard Wanda feared she have to catch them when they fell out and rolled to the ground.

"That broad was here for you!"

Wanda sunk into the couch cushions, "Damn. It has been awhile."

"See?!"

"But that doesn't mean you need to fall over yourself to find someone by Valentine's day. Besides, we always do Galentine's instead. What about that?"

"Technically, I need to find someone before then because I want to be in a committed relationship by V-day. We can still do Galentine's with Nat and Carol. It'll just have to be earlier in the day." You said easily. You didn't notice the miffed expression Wanda was giving you.

"How are you going to even do any of this?"

You smiled brightly, turning to face Wanda, "With your help, of course! And probably Nat, Tony, Carol, and Sam's too. You guys will find me suitable dates. And we'll go from there. I'll even reactivate my Tinder account."

Wanda's frown deepened even further, "But you hate Tinder."

"That's how you know I'm serious about this."

Wanda watched as you frantically typed away on your phone. Informing your friends of your plans and setting up multiple online dating profiles.

"There's no talking you out of this, is there?"

You only shook your head with an infuriating smile.

"Fine. I'll ask around I guess."

"Yay! Thank you, Wands!" You threw yourself into Wanda for a hug. Wrapping your arms around her neck as much as you could.

Wanda patted your back.

"Youre welcome, Detka. At least this way I know they won't be the losers you normally have an affinity for."

You pulled away, "I do not have an 'affinity for losers'."

Wanda raised an eyebrow, "Which one of your exes has not been a loser?"

"Carly!"

"We were 16 when you dated Carly. She was definitely a loser."

"Jackson?"

Wanda's eyes widened, "Jackson tried to cheat on you. With me!"

You shrugged, more than over that by now, "Yeah, but he was so hot. And his dic-"

"Okay. You win. Moving on."

Kaiser hopped up onto your lap.

"Your mommy is so easy, Kai."

Wanda just scowled.

"And your dumbass agreed to that?"

Wanda huffed for the fourth time that evening.

This little coffee break with Natasha and Sam was not going well. She thought they'd be on her side when she explained the crazy episode you had the day before.

But instead, they were just staring at her like she had three heads. She wasn't the crazy one. You were!

"What do you mean? I had no choice. She volunteered me!"

Sam blinked. Once. Twice, "Did it not occur to you to just say 'No'?"

"Of course it did. But I couldn't!"

It was Natasha's turn to blink blankly, "And why not?"

"B-Because!"

Natasha and Sam shared a glance.

Natasha shook her head in astonishment, "Oh my God."

"What?" Wanda asked softly, thinking something was wrong.

"oH. My. GOd." Sam, for his part, looked just as confused as Wanda.

"What, Natasha?!"

"YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH Y/N!" Natasha exclaimed with a half shriek half laugh thing that caused her to choke. Sam patted her softly on the back while looking at Wanda in shock.

"Заткнись на хрен." Wanda said through gritted teeth, looking around the fire department's lounge like you would pop out from behind a light fixture at any second.

Sam pouted, "Hey, no Russian. Bucky still won't teach me anything. Not even the cuss words."

"She told me to 'shut the fuck up'. Which obviously means I'm right, Sammy boy."

Sam turned to Wanda, "Then why did you agree to this!?"

Wanda blew out a latte scented breath. The cat was out of the bag and there was no getting it back in. So, she might as well have leaned into it.

"Because she asked." Wanda shrugged.

"You simp. I'm so ashamed of you right now." Sam said with a shake of his head.

Wanda rolled her eyes, "When was the last time you said 'No' to Steve?"

"This isn't about me, Wanda."

"Anyway, so you're actually going to let her go on dates and potentially find a life partner even though you like her?" Natasha asked with a concerned grimace.

"Yes. As long as she's happy. If she liked me back she wouldn't always put me in second place."

Natasha shook her head, "That's not fair! You're always in second place because she doesn't even know you're in the damn race."

"And you're not going to tell her, are you?" Sam said with a soft, sad smile.

"No. I'm going to help her get ready for her dates with a big smile on my face. And if she finds the love her life. I'll be happy for her."

"Wanda?"

"Yes?"

"You looked like you were going to burst into sobs while saying that."

Wanda scratched at the side of her head, "Yeah. I'm-uh-still working on that."

Sam was silent for a moment, "Can we make a deal?"

"Depends?"

"If she still hasn't found a Valentine by February 13th, you ask her. And not in a 'besties gal pals BF4EVA' way. In a 'if you took off literally any peice of clothing even a sock I would have to change my pants' way."

Wanda dismissed her blush with a breathy chuckle, "Deal. But we all have to take this assignment seriously. I'm a last resort. No setting her up with losers."

Natasha and Sam both looked reluctant to shake hands on those terms, but they did anyway.

"Deal."

#wanda maximoff #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel female reader insert #marvel fanfiction #wanda maximoff x you #perfectus #jessicas fanfic

68 notes · View notes