#my partner is perfect in so many ways. my best friend and the kindest and most compassionate person i know. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexiavettel · 9 months

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Fear is made of ice

there’s a thin layer of ice between love and hate

pairing: lance stroll x fem!reader (au)

word count: 8.3k+

summary: Montreal is basically the hockey capital, but for you? An ice figure skater? That’s your city, not the hockey’s guys. That has been a thing for years and years, which is more important, cool and remarkable? Most of the time hockey is the people's favourite but not for you, who spend too many years of your childhood training to be the best. Let’s say that money was never a problem, your family is one of the richest in the country and you were fortunate to receive so much support from them. But there’s the thing, you grew up with the Stroll family, basically the same conditions, same picture-perfect family but you and Lance have never been eye to eye. A stupid rivalry that kept up to today’s days, an ice skater and a hockey player, what a cliché. But these were until your skiing accident, when everything seemed too real…

warnings: explicit language, frenemies to lovers, near-death experience, near-death description, no use of y/n, cheating ex, from Lukov with love reference, poor use of hockey slangs, Claire-Anne Stroll being a distant mother (pls i know she isn’t but it’s part of the plot), Montreal Canadiens is the best one here okay (leave them alone), childish rivalry (they love each other), bit of anger issues resulting in a panic attack, Chloe and Scotty (cause i'm a sucker for them and they deserve a warning of their own), you are Scotty’s sister in this imagine (but it’s not really important and here he's canadian), alcoholic beverages, driving after drinking (pls don’t do it).

January- 2021

There was a day at the end of last year when you had a huge fight with your (now) ex-boyfriend ‘cause you found out that he was cheating on you with his own cousin, and decided to go skiing by yourself to let some anger out and think about the situation more freely. And let’s say that too much alcohol and skiing isn’t such a good combination, which resulted in a terrible accident.

You still remember trying to dig out but your fingers wouldn’t move at all, the suffocating and hyperventilating, the snow feeling like concrete, you remember feeling panicked, but also incredibly helpless. What a humiliating way to die huh? There was absolutely nothing you could do. The last thing in your mind, before it all went black, was the excruciating pain in your ankle.

When you woke up in the hospital your brother Scott was by your side, sleeping, but at least you weren’t alone right? He told you that he got a call from the hospital and they told him that an unknown skier had found and saved you. He asked you what happened and well… your ex got a restraining order on your brother.

The hardest part to hear was that you broke your ankle… one month before the winter tournament, you would lose this opportunity but you can handle yourself, you can handle the pain and the hard trainings you’ll have to do after all this, the problem is: Lukov, your skating partner and your childhood best friend.

Lukov is going to be alone this season and even tho he says everything is fine, you know it isn’t. He doesn’t have a partner, so you promised him that you would find someone. But you could never find someone with the same connection as you guys have, but with the same experience… Yeah, there was someone. The problem is that the only girl that can be a good partner for your best friend, is your enemy’s sister.

Chloe is the kindest human you ever met and one of the best ice skaters too. But she’s glued to the hip with her not-so-kind brother, Lance. And there’s where your desire to help Lukov die a little bit, to convince one Stroll you have to convince the other. And that will be painful, but since you were the inconsequent one and got yourself hurt you kinda owe your dear partner that.

•

“Oh my god, yes! I was dying to participate in this tournament but since they only accept pairs and y’know that after Elliott had gone back to Europe I haven’t got time to get a new partner. That would be actually perfect- like- I mean- I’m so sorry for your accident and I hope you get well soon” she simply blurted all out and smiled nervously in the end

“Yeah I got the cake you sent me and by the way thank you but I’m already good. And thank you so much for accepting the offer, I know that me and Lu always had this rivalry with you and Elliott in the competitions but you know how much I admire you”

“Don’t worry babes. But I’m going to be honest with you, even tho this is good for both of us I promised my brother that I would train with him since I didn’t plan on competing this season…” Oh great “I know you guys are not besties. Still, I need you two to give it a try, ‘cause I don’t want to disappoint either of you so I’m sure he’s going to understand me. But are you capable of it?”

“Pff for sure, I don’t like him but we can tolerate each other just for some training sessions…”

No, we can’t.

•

“Your posture is terrible, is actually impressive that you can skate with that awful balance” how is this man a hockey player?

“Ow shut-”

“About it girl, forgot to tell you how he is the “all muscles no brain” type” Chloe said smiling

“What muscles?”

“Hey I have much more than you” he flexed his arm clearly offended

“That’s what you said last night” you said smirking at his angry expression

“So I’m gonna let you two alone, love you both and don’t kill each other!”

Was always like this, you and Lance bickering over everything, Chloe trying to stop you both (until she got tired and started ignoring) and your brother saying that you two should just admit the unsaid love.

After Chloe left the silence was weird. Had been quite some time since you two spoke last, it was probably a discussion but it was at Christmas two years ago. Your families have this tradition, one year Christmas is on yours and the other on Stroll’s, it’s almost cool if it wasn’t for the talks about hockey and figure skating.

“You know you don’t actually have to “help” me, right?”

“I don’t want to but first: I’m not gonna disappoint your sister ‘cause she’s helping me so fucking much and second: you kinda need it, your posture is really terrifying I’m surprised you didn’t already hurt yourself”

“You still a bitch-”

“What do you thought would change that?”

“Since you were soo busy “out studying” last years’ Christmas”

“Did you missed me, pretty boy?” you said finally putting on your ice skates and giving him some pats on his hair

“Fuck you” he laughed

“I was actually out studying asshole, was in Germany preparing for the Winter Olympics”

“Do you really got to participate for Canada?” he asked while you were crossing through the ice rink

“Yeah, me and Lukov”

“Wow that’s incredible”

“Don’t be so surprised, Lance. I’m the best and Lu is the best, we obviously got it” you said pretending to be unbothered and attempting to do a single axel, but the landing was poor.

“Well, I’m sure you're not at your best right now…Are you even sure you can skate? You should be more careful”

“You are the one telling me this? Really? The boy who hurt himself karting and two days after is in a hockey game and being a total bender?”

“At least I could compete- Ouch” he couldn't finish ‘cause you got his lumber and slapped him with it to shut him down.

“Fix your damn back, Quasimodo! And those ankles!” you started hitting in the right places until he fix it.

•

You had come to the rink quite early to have some time for yourself, your physio is giving you a hard time in this recovery. Even with your overworked muscles and stabbing pain, the only thing in your mind is dance. This is your coping method, always has been. Angry? Dance. Happy? Dance. Sad? Dance.

You were in the middle of a spiral when you almost had a heart attack after seeing Lance seated on the bench, watching you intensely.

“Shit! You scared the shit out of me Stroll!” you recomposed yourself and started crossing to get to him

“It’s not my fault you are too deaf to not hear me coming in, ring rat”

“Rink rat? Me? You are the one who used to expel the little kids when you wanted to train in public!”

“This was years ago!”

“Still”

An uncomfortable silence settled before he said calmly:

“Your problem was in your ankle but your knees aren’t straight enough when you do your spiral…”

“I know. Thanks for confirming I’m not crazy tho, I was on the verge of filming to see my form”

“If you need help I can do it y’know?” Did you hear that right?

“You can do a spiral?”

“No dumbass, I can help you with it!”

“Do you plan on breaking my leg while doing it? Why are you offering help?”

“Because you clearly need… And ‘cause you’re helping me with my posture…”

“Seems suspicious…”

“First: That’s what you said last night. Second: let’s make a deal! We can train together since I need to practise my attack and you need to come back being good”

“That’s your attempt to convince me?” You deadpanned

“You know what I mean! And could you please go to my next game? I can help you with your routine since you don't have Lukov at the moment!”

“Why would I go to your game?”

“It’s a bet! Since your last discussion with Chris, they bet that you wouldn’t come back this year” Chris is funny but he’s the type of guy that thinks only about hockey and sex.

“And let me guess! You were the only one to bet on me, ‘cause you thought that you could convince me-”

“Yeah!”

“What would you win?”

“Beer, your favourite one by the way!” How does he know your favourite type of beer? Maybe from all the dinners? You don’t know.

“Okay then”

“For real?”

“Yeah, even if it hurts to admit I could use some help…”

•

“You gonna play as a goalie eh?”

“I swear to god that if you hit that fucking rubber in me I’m gonna kill you!”

“Calm down, sweetheart. Just got to practise some breakaways for tomorrow’s game” he giggled while helping you put the protections on

“You gonna pay all my food tomorrow if I hurt myself with this”

You did quite well actually, were able to stop some of it with your arms and legs, even if it got you a purple bruise near your shoulder. In the end, you both were too tired to talk while taking off your protections.

“I have to be honest, I underestimated your little game”

“That’s what you said last night! But I knew you always had done that! I told Scott but he didn’t believed me!”

“Looks like an easy sport, what can I do? Why would I care about it?”

“Your dancing looks very much easy, little one”

“Let’s see that after tomorrow”

•

“You are trying to kill yourself? You dumb bitch!” you said while putting a cotton pad in his nose because this idiot got himself hurt fighting another player.

“He insulted me!” he whined

“And what are you? A kid? You’re so fucking immature, that could’ve cost your team the game!”

“Y’know… for someone that says about “not caring” about hockey you’ve got pretty heated in the grandstand”

“You make me want to break your nose” you whispered while picking up another pad.

“I’m pretty much sure I saw you screaming at the referee” he was looking up into your eyes with a smirk on his lips.

“He almost gave your mate a penalty for nothing. What did you expected me to do?”

“You are something else, you know that?” he did not contain his laugh this time and you just hummed.

“I want a juice” you thought out loud after the talk has quieted down and finished cleaning his nose with a wet tissue.

“Let’s get one then” he jumped and picked up your hand on the way walking to the convenience store.

You went completely silent, by his action but went with it.

“Orange or strawberry?” you chose and he paid.

“You didn’t had to pay for it-” you started saying, going back to your usual ice rink.

“I promised”

“That didn’t hurt”

“You have a purple spot” he contested you while opening the front door for you.

“That’s what you said last night! And it’s nothing compared to your nose”

“He got the worse, honey” he joked sitting in the grandstand near your stuff.

“You are something else, Stroll”

“Wanna play something?” he uttered suddenly.

“Like what?” you asked, sipping your juice, desiring for only a second that would be something stronger.

“Truth or drink!”

“We have literally juices, Lance”

“So I’m gonna get us some beers, wait a second” What the actual fuck is happening was your thought while he was away.

“You want to ask me something boy?”

“No! I swear!”

“Hmm looks sus for me”

“Then you can go first”

“Why did you put so much faith in your team at the beginning if they were shit?”

“I felt it, I think. Why is Lukov your partner?”

“I felt it, I think” he gave you a death glare after you laughed at his question “He always had been there you know? We met on his first day here, the poor boy didn’t know how to properly speak in Russian let alone English or French so I helped with it-”

“Do you speak Russian?!” he was astonished

“No, but I helped him learn English and defended him from some dumb kids. When I think of me I think of Lukov. My childhood, adolescence, and every moment of my life he was there with me and for me. We always had this crazy connection and I am so fucking lucky to have found him…”

“When I was younger I thought you guys were a thing…” he silently gulped his beer

“WHAT-”

“I know! But don’t blame me you used to look like a couple, still do actually”

“It’s for the act! We need to have chemistry!”

“Still, every time you two are competing looks like you are about to kiss each other in the middle of everyone”

“Are you jealous, Stroll?” you lean over him smirking before laughing.

“Fuck you is your time!”

“‘M out of creativity, you go again”

“Okay… What were you actually doing in the last two years?”

“Germany I told you”

“If you not gonna actually tell me then drink-”

“I’m telling you! I was practising”

“But Lukov only had gone after you last year” You stop to think if you should actually tell him the truth

“I was thinking about competing alone… But after two weeks I gave up!’

“Why did you thought that was a good idea?” He sipped his beer and you noticed yours had ended.

“Was afraid if I was keeping Lu in the sport against his will… We haven’t got first place in quite some time so I got paranoid. I always thought that he stayed because of me since I kind of depended on him and the other way around. But then we had a discussion and we understood each other. Now everything’s good!”

“Okay… It’s your turn”

"Have you always wanted to be a hockey player?"

"No... I’ve always wanted to try being a Formula 1 driver, I really love the sport"

"And you don't love hockey?..."

"I learned to"

He passes you one of the bottles, ice cold and sweating, and as weird as it can sound the silence was painful but reassuring at the same time.

You opened your mouth then shut it again before saying "I hated skating at first... Thought it was boring, preferred volleyball in high school"

"Why did you stayed?"

"Why did you?"

"I asked it first" he smirks

"Even if skating is boring, dancing is amazing, I always loved it. It's art, it's a wonderful way to express yourself... And that's what I do. Oh and obviously if it wasn't my dad convincing me, I would be on a really different path right now"

"Pfft if it wasn't for my mother I would've never put my feet in an ice rink. But seeing her around at least for my games made it all the effort worthy, every time I see my dad smiling when I or Chloe win something it feels better than winning the prize actually"

"I think if it weren't for our families we would never even meet"

"And you would love that, right?"

"I don't think so, to be honest. Let's say that you changed a lot of things about me, things that I like now"

"Are you okay? Have you been cloned?" he touched your forehead to feel your temperature

"Don't be a dick now, for once please" you doe-eyed him

"Even saying please... I need to take you out drinking more times, huh?"

"Asshole-"

"That's it! That's my girl!" He laughs loudly.

“That’s what you said last night” You couldn’t contain yourself.

"But since you are being honest for once. You changed things in me too. I think I'm one of the best players in the world because of you..."

"Wow! Are you drunk already? Didn't think it would only take one beer to do that!" He gave you a playful punch in your arm.

"No, but honestly, you made me competitive. At the end of last season, like in the last game, the pressure was all up and I couldn't think straight but I saw you with Scott and Chloe in the audience and I clearly remember thinking how much you would roast me if I lose in the end"

“See I’m the best and I don’t even need to try” You laughed while he began to run after you threatening to pour his beer out in your hair.

•

“Nooo I’m hungover” he mourned when you pushed him inside.

“You were the one that made us drink yesterday plus you promised me” You started stretching.

“Okay, what do I do?”

“Well, since you barely can stand in a blade you’ll just gonna help giving me the impulse”

“Hey! I’ve watched your routines I can keep up with it” dear god

“Just do what I say, Stroll. Do you at least know the names?” the way he smiled gave you the answer.

“I know what an axel is. I’ve seen you doing it before”

You proceeded to explain to him the basic stuff, like the six main jumps (axel, salchow, toe loop, loop, flip and lutz) and your long program, which is the one you’re having more trouble with since the step sequence is harder.

“Oh my god are you okay?” he came running to you after you’ve done a perfect hydroblade

“Yes? It’s part of the program Lance” This is going to be harder than you thought…

“Okay, so you don’t need help with the loop jump but need it with the triple salchow?”

“Yes, you’ll need to swirl my waist and support me with the landing eh?”

He tried to do what you said but it took a few times until he got right. He was so scared of dropping or even touching you that he forgot to help you land. On the 12th try probably, he almost got perfect. The rotation in the air, slightly less than 360 degrees was just on point.

“You did this on instinct, right?” you say after doing a spiral, that doesn’t hurt your ankle anymore.

“Yes?...” Lance said as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Then try to synchronise with me”

“What? No! Have you gone mad? It’s too dangerous!”

“I know what I am doing, just trust yourself. My type of dance is based on trust and connection. I trust you enough to know that you’ll not let me fall and you have to trust me that I’m not trying something crazy. That’s already a type of connection, so follow my lead”

You showed him your and Lukov's most basic program but that included a lot of sync so it would be good to practice. He almost knocked you two down the ice twice before he got in the way and let’s say he wouldn't be a bad figure skater.

When the fourth try ended, it was perfect. He followed your steps gracefully, your feet in complete sync, he gave you the perfect amount of impulse when needed and the warmth provided from your bodies proximity was incredible. It was different than with Lukov, obviously. Your teammate is one of the best skaters in the world alongside you but the way your bodies connected as they were made for each other was weird but not a bad weird… A good one.

“Lukov and Chloe’s first round is tomorrow,” you blurted all out when you noticed how close your faces are, noses almost touching and his eyes burning into yours “we can’t lose it!” you finally were able to pull away from his firm grip on your waist, as you feel your cheeks burning.

“Uh, s-sure. They would kill us if we don’t go” he said, going to his stuff to drink something.

“You are great, y’know?! I mean, apart from looking constipated in the beginning like you have never touched a woman. You did an incredible job!” You stated in a low voice trying to regain your composure and got out of the rink with a hockey stop making him get ice in all his clothes.

“You look like you are about to fall anytime, what did you want me to do?” he says, taking away the ice while rolling his eyes.

“No, but for real. You did great. Your instinct is gonna take you really far…” you praise him while taking your skates off.

“You’re more flexible now, have you been practising outside of here?”

“Yeah, my coach is making me work harder than when I prepare for competitions”

“Don’t overwork yourself” he advises you before you coincidently almost trip over his bag “Careful there, girl” you hiss “Can I take a look at your ankle?”

“Sure” You sit down next to the bench where he is and Lance picks up your leg and starts to undress it near your foot.

“Your coach saw how swollen it is?” he started massaging delicately.

“F-Fuck” you hiss again “No, she hasn’t! It gets like this after a hard training session. It's okay, really. In less than two hours is going to be new” you tried to get your leg off his lap but he just scooted over even more.

“So you’re telling me your ankle gets this swollen every time you train?” His suspicious eyes got you right away, years of convivence and growing up together unfortunately get you to know each other better. Too much better, sometimes.

“No-“

“Don’t lie! You are overworking your ankle!” His eyes were always this piercing?

“Your words, not mine!- Ouch!” He squeezed one nerve harder making you wish for death.

“We are going to stop training if you keep up with that! You got me?” he was damn serious about it.

“What are you? My dad?”

“Wrong answer” he squeezed that damn nerve again “You understand me?”

“Yeah, Lance. Can you let me go now?”

“Not this early, darling. We gotta wrap it up” he gave your leg a weak tap before getting up and getting an elastic bandage. “You need to be more careful, for real. It’s too fucking dangerous, you plan to be back at competing no? What if it gets worse?” you could notice the genuine concern in his eyes, it almost made you feel bad for not taking enough care of yourself.

“I didn’t mean to… I just want to be at my best again. I finally got a place in the Olympics and now what? I mess up my entire fucking life because of-”

“Why were you there? Why were you skiing alone on Thanksgiving?”

“Jeremy cheated on me. I came back early to make him a surprise and he was fucking his own cousin in my house, in my room, in my fucking bed” You could feel the tears threatening to fall “How disgusting this can be? Oh, and I found out later that he was trying to get in my dad’s company. He always tried to pull me away from the family’s business, just so he could get near my place?” your blood started to boil again.

“H-Hey-” he tried to get your attention but it was all in the rage, all the pain from being such an idiot.

“I was fucking mad! I was furious, Lance! I was such a fucking idiot! A little son of a bitch can cost me my career because I let him! I let him see all the versions of me, all my sides, my emotions, my scars, my traumas, everything! I let myself be vulnerable and he took advantage of it ‘cause I let him! And I am so fucking stupid to let my rage and pain take hold of me and I almost died for it!-” he hugged you.

You didn’t felt when he moved your leg from the way and got closer to you. You could feel his breath on your neck and his shirt getting wet from the warm tears that had escaped your eyes. The comfort is weird. You never expected comfort from Lance Stroll’s embrace. It feels like he understands you, maybe he is not that bad.

“I am here” he flattened your shirt while patting your hair gently “I always have- Always will…” he indeed was always there, even if in the wrong circumstances. You two stayed like that for much longer than you could count properly.

It feels good, it feels right, it feels like home. But it shouldn’t. You try to remember all the reasons why you should hate him, all fights and discussions the multiple times he made you crazy, but nothing comes to mind.. Nothing, nothing but a pure childish rivalry.

“Thank you, Lance…” You sniffed trying to hide your face from him, but he pulled it up with his finger in your chin.

“You don’t need to thank me. And you’re not the wrong one. You just thought you could trust someone you loved, that’s perfectly normal. He’s the motherfucker here. And honestly? He’s such a fucking idiot for losing you.” he cleans away your tears with his thumbs.

“You don’t have to compliment me just ‘cause I’m crying” you chuckled.

“I’m not complimenting you, just saying the truth. He is the biggest asshole I know, and such a dumb one for letting you go. Considering how picky you are with relationships, he was lucky you even gave him a chance.”

“I’m not picky” you pout.

“You literally rejected everyone who asked you to proms in school, and that includes basically all the football team” he deadpanned.

“I used to want someone in particular who didn’t try his luck with me…” Stupid little you to think that he would ask you in high school like he would choose you when you two fought all the time, you thought to yourself while gathering your stuff and ready to go now.

“Who was it?” he asked, following with big curious-puppy eyes.

“Good night, Lance. See you tomorrow! We meet there” You ignored him and started strolling to your car.

“I can pick you up at nine?!” he yells.

“Nope! See you there!” Okay, maybe you started running.

•

“Oh dear, you look terrible” Yes, that’s your best friend’s first words when he sees you after weeks without each other.

“I told you” Stroll whispered behind you, holding both of your coffees and fighting his laugh.

“My god, what is my brother doing to you, honey?” Chloe arrived also looking concerned.

“I really hate you all” you flipped them off before hugging them.

“Really babes, what were you doing?” Lukov took you by your arm and dragged you to the rink’s background. “Interesting late night, huh?”

“Not the one you’re imagining, unfortunately. Spend all night thinking”

“Thinking about?…”

“So- Hm, the program we planned is still the same?”

“Don’t change the subject, lady!”

“Just answer”

“Yes, it is. But I had to change a bit since Chloe had gone almost one year without competing. Not gonna be easy, but at least, we will be at the podium”

“That’s what matters”

“What about you and Stroll-”

“Chloe!” You ran to her when you saw her passing with Lance.

“I’ll extract the truth from you or him!-”

“How are things going with Scotty, honey?” You started talking and planning her bachelor party. In the end, we plan to meet the next day to properly talk. While Lukov tried to “extract the truth” from Lance.

•

Lukov and Chloe were the last pair to perform and got the best score. The program we planned it’s perfect, even with the adaptations still an amazing choreography. Was an… experience to watch your teammate from outside the rink, imagining it was you with him. A bit distracting tho with Lance holding your hand every time his sister takes her feet off the ground.

“Have you ever watched your sister competing?” you said when he took your hand for the 5th time probably.

“I-I had but- I was young. Never thought about the risks- Like, she could actually die if he let her fall!”

“You are talking like a kid, Lance” you mourned.

“Already told you today how much I love when you call me by my first name?” he smirked leaning closer “Prefer when I talk to you like an adult, darling?”

“So what do you think?” Chloe asked euphorically, hugging you and her brother.

“Impressive!” “Great!” you and Lance said in unison.

“Just great?” She pouts.

“Great is wonderful in her translation!” Lukov nudges you with his elbow.

“You’re really tough,” Lance added.

“That’s what you said last night” damn your mouth, you thought to yourself as you watched Chloe and Lukov getting extremely wide-eyed.

“Really good timing,” Stroll said, holding his laugh and blushing slightly.

“That’s why you looked so tired, huh?!” “Spend the night ‘thinking’, right?” Chloe and Lukov said smiling to both of you.

“Are you teaming up against me?!” You whine while drinking your umpteenth cup of coffee.

“Just wishing you the best, honey” Lance’s sister gives you two taps on your back.

“And a hockey player is good enough eh?” Lukov agrees with her.

“I really fucking hate you both. See you next round!” You declared before going to the parking lot.

“So… My next game, the season’s final is in three days, right after their second round” You heard quick steps following you but didn’t need to turn back to know who it was.

“On the same day?” You leaned against the car, waiting for his response.

“Yep. Can you still train with me, then?”

“That was always the plan, no?”

“But I can help you more with your stuff-“

“Lance, I’m not following. That’s the whole point of our deal, is there something you would like to change?”

“No, just want to chat a bit, to be honest”

“Wow, how cute. But I need to go, my physio is waiting for me” you said entering the car, about to close the door.

“Can I go with you?” He quickly asked.

“Ah- I mean- If you promise not to tell her about the ankle thing, you can”

“I promise! When and where?”

“I’m gonna tell her and I’ll send you the info” You finally could close the car’s door.

On the way home you thought about his proposal and you don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Letting him see you more vulnerable than he has already seen, that would break down another wall between you two. Building an intimate one in the place.

•

“Hey-“

“Remember! Don’t talk about my ankle, don’t be too polite and most importantly, don’t talk about my dad!” You blurted out nervously.

“Can I ask you why all this? Do I really need to worry?” His face turns to the side like a confused puppy.

“One word about the ankle, I kill you. If you’re too polite she will just make fun of you, and if she does don’t talk back. If you talk about my dad, she kills you. Simple”

“Care to explain what happened with your dad?”

“Long story short they had a drunk fuck, turned into a fling and she fell for him and-“

“It wasn’t reciprocated, I assume”

“You’re absolutely right, handsome! Now please don’t be an asshole and in case she asks you to help me, refuse.”

“Okay-“ You yanked his arm and went inside the building walking fast.

“Good morning sweetheart, how’re you feeling?” Monica said hugging you and ignoring the boy behind you.

“Lance, this is Monica and Mo this is Lance”

“Just call me Dr.” She said rudely, clearly testing him.

“Okay, Dr. It's a pleasure to meet the woman who is taking care of her,” he pointed at you and offered his hand.

“Yeah it’s a pleasure to finally meet the boy who’s helping her stubborn ass to train even more” She smiled ironically and shook his hand “But anyway I need to get some things before we start, you arrived early so wait up” and then she’s gone.

“She’s a bit moody, isn't she?” He asked while you attempt to remove your boot.

“Just a bit and she doesn’t know you…” Lance watching your clumsy way to take your shoes off he seats by your side, gets your leg in his lap as he had done some days ago and does it for you “You didn’t need to, I could’ve done it”

“Stop being fucking stubborn, if I want to help I will!”

“And she technically works for your dad too” You ignored his last comment and the heat in your cheeks as he also removed your sock. Too simple, too intimate.

“My dad isn’t a bad boss!”

“But he is an absent one. He bought her family company and put one of your distant cousins to be the CEO, let’s say she is just not your dad’s biggest fan”

“You should have warned me that too-“

“It was way too funny to see you getting all riled up, not knowing how to act and shit” You giggle ignoring him leaning on your legs.

“Get your ass off my patient” Monica called him out loud while you laugh at his scared reaction.

“S-Sorry”

“Let’s get started!”

•

“Boy, can you be useful once?” Your physio asks loudly at an almost sleeping Lance.

“Y-Yeah, sure!”

“Push her lower back in the ground’s direction” you tensed under his gaze. You were with your dominant leg up, like a spiral position.

“D-Don’t-“ you tried to say.

“Shut up girl, do you want to skate or not?” Even if it hurts to admit, Monica is right.

His hands lay on your waist gently and go down to your lower back. He tried to push it down carefully but after a hard stare of your physio, he did as asked. You felt like your skin was burning, not from the pain of the stretch but from the man’s contact. His hands send shivers down your whole body, you felt like your heart was beating in your throat.

This isn’t intimate, you two have been much closer before but right now? It’s different. No one ever made you feel like that, maybe in different circumstances but not like this, no.

Being in such a vulnerable position makes you feel sick, especially him seeing you like this. But after that drunk talk some days ago there’s not much to hide. He opened up to you and you cried in him. Call it quits.

“Hold her like that for a sec, ‘gonna get a rope”

“What was the third rule, Lance?!” you grunt.

“What? I’m not listening you!” He pushes you down even more while you feel a stare on your back.

“If you stop staring at my ass for a sec you would listen to me, jackass! I know it looks good but not now, man” you joke feeling his hold faltering “Would’ve hurt you to say no to her? She has worked alone with me for years. She can do it, you don’t need to help. I told you, but you never listen to me, do you?-”

“Okay, lovebirds, I’m back”

•

We didn’t talk much after the physiotherapy, both of us were too focused in our own heads. We went out to eat after, but the lunch was just as silent as the way there. After quite some hours Chloe called you asking what time would you arrive and you just got in your car and went to her house.

“Hi girl! You got us wine? You know I’m competing but I’m not gonna refuse a glass” She smirked and let you in.

“10 things I hate about you?” You suggested, sitting in the couch.

(yes that was a link to my Daniel Ricciardo one-shot, check out in my masterlist)

“Oh my God, yes!” She sits down beside you and puts the film on. “So, how was your day? Heard Lance had gone with to physio, everything’s right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t actually know why he insisted on going with me, but it was quite good ‘cause he helped my doctor so it was faster.”

“‘Noticed you two are not fighting too much anymore…”

“Yeah, I think we just like to tease each other, y’know?! We have some good talks sometimes, actually” you start fidgeting your fingers anxiously.

“You guys have always been like this, you’re just noticing because you’re spending more time together” she smirks into her glass.

“And you and Lukov, how is it going? You two have great sync”

“He’s an amazing partner. I can see why you two always outdone me, you guys are incredible!” She answers you, getting some snacks.

“You’re awesome too, if you weren’t you wouldn't be with him honestly. You were the only one that came to mind when I needed to find another partner for him” you smile to yourself when she blushes to your compliment.

“How’s your skating? I know you have been practising more but how do you feel? Does it still hurts too much?”

“A bit, yeah. But only when I overwork myself and at hardest jumps”

“It must be hard, sorry girl-” she burped as the wine quietly got the best of her, she had always been weak for drinks “Especially when all we do is overwork ourselves, isn’t it? And you and Lukov are best known for the quad throw salchow, you think you can come to that?” She caresses your arm affectionately.

“For sure, I’m working hard for it. Lance is even helping me train the hard jumps. Even with that bad posture of his, it’s actually helping a lot.”

“That’s s-soo good to hear, sweetie” She says finishing her second glass and you take the wine bottle clearly away from her.

“Well, it could be worse, you know?! I felt like I was dying…-”

“I m-mean you could have, if it wasn’t for Lance founding you that day. H-He was so in shock when he came back from the hospital where he let you, the poor b-boy couldn't even speak p-properly” the blonde confesses between quiet burps.

“What are you talking about, Chloe?” You ask nervously. The movie, the wine, and the snacks are all long forgotten as you stop to think about the probabilities. It’s impossible, right?! What are the chances that he was the one that saved you? Why would he be there? How would he find you? Why didn’t he told you?

“S-Shit, I feel like I shouldn't have said that” she admits looking down at herself.

“It’s true? You swear?”

“Cross my heart, baby” she drunkenly says.

“I need to go, Chloe. Let’s get you to bed.” You sit up and start to organize the stuff, while she sits on the couch pouting because-

“You already going?” She pouts even harder.

“I need to” You really do need time for yourself right now. How are you going to look at him tomorrow?

“Did I did s-something wrong? No! Did I said something wrong?!”

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. Now, come with me,” at the moment you set her in her bed she falls sleeps. You look for an aspirin and set on her bedside table, asking yourself how someone can get wasted so quickly.

•

You just got to sleep a few hours. You attempted to write him a few messages just to delete it before sending, rereading the last text he send. A simple “Tomorrow at 8 am, right? See you <3”, that makes your heart shudder with confusion. The way to the rink was weird. That’s exactly the word. All the questions that filled your head makes you a bit dizzy, you don’t even know if you will be able to practise today, since he’s gonna be soo near you.

“Good morning sweetheart!” he shouts from the bench excitedly.

“Why are you happy? It’s morning” you reply roughly.

“I watched a few programs on the internet yesterday and I’m feeling really inspired!” He got up twirling and following me from inside the ice.

“Good” you couldn’t contain yourself to not be short with him.

“Are you okay?” His worried expression got in your low point of view while you were lacing your skates.

“Yeah, yeah” ignoring is probably the best way to deal with it.

He was much more confident this session. The grip of his hands much more strong, the sync is good and his skating more balanced. But the connection you two found in the last practice seemed lost. It felt like he was searching for you while you were skimming away, every time he helped you in the jumps it felt like you didn’t want to be held, like his touch burned you.

It was an unspoken tension. His eyes asking you what happened during each break, and you ignoring him. The silence was uncomfortable, but thinking about yesterday’s revelation during the whole practice made you decide to postpone the confrontation. He needs to be focused on the season’s end game.

“Soo… you gonna tell me what happened? Did I do something wrong?” He seated beside you pouting.

“Sorry to mess up our session” you avoided through your teeth.

“Want to talk about it?” He puts an arm around your shoulder. It would feel comforting if you didn’t know he has been lying all this time.

“How would you feel if I didn’t tell you something really important about yourself?” You considered refusing his proposal but you couldn’t hold yourself.

“I don’t know… If it’s something really important to me I would be mad as fuck with you, but it depends” How can he act so clueless? Or Chloe was lying, which didn’t seem like it, or he’s just a liar. Both of them don’t have a reason to lie, but it’s just so confusing to you it hurts your brain.

“Huhum…”

“Want to tell me? You seem shaken. Does it have anything to do with Jeremy?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. And no, it was not him. It was just another asshole, but I gotta go” You got up, gathering your stuff and going home ignoring his thoughtful goodbye.

The air in your car in the way back home was cold with confusion and loneliness. Tomorrow is the hockey training and the next day is his last game. Then you can finally press him to tell you the truth. When you arrived home you noticed almost a hundred texts from Chloe and Lukov, but decided to ignore both of them.

•

Lance Stroll POV

I spend more time in the rink practising to loose my mind from her attitude, forgot to eat and it’s past midnight when I get home. She was so distant, like all the progress we achieved in this meantime got lost. It’s confusing because even tho she says she’s fine she avoided the question when I asked if I did something wrong.

I can’t think of anything that I could’ve done recently. She seems disappointed and confused, it’s making me crazy. We’re not best friends but we’re not enemies either. I don’t know what to think and this might be a very anxious reaction but I need to see her. I feel like she is slipping through my fingers.

“What the hell are you doing in my house at 3 in the morning, Lance?!” She opened her front door with nothing but a large T-shirt and short shorts.

“I know I’ve hurt you somehow, but please, only for today try to understand me, I’m not asking for your forgiveness… well, kinda, but-”

“What are you doing here, Lance?” She opens the door more and asks me again huffing.

“I don’t know what I have done to upset you or make you mad, but I am sorry” I enter her house without even noticing my leg moves “I’m really sorry, doesn’t matter why or what I’ve done I’m sorry. It’ll sound really crazy but I realised I miss you. And now this sound really weird! I don’t know what I’m saying anymore-”

I can’t finish the initial sentence that I don’t even know where it was going. I am interrupted by… lips? Her lips. Her lips pressing against mine in a gentle yet desperate way, pushing me harshly to the wall and making me whimper in a low tone, giving her the chance of sliding her tongue inside my mouth. When I finally have the opportunity to reciprocate the kiss she pushes away suddenly.

“Shut. Up.”

“That’s the first thing you say after kissing me?”

“I kissed you to shut you up. But you kissed me back.” She points at me cynically.

“That’s-”

“You saved me, didn’t you?! You took me out of the snow?!” The girl asked me with wide eyes. I don’t know which emotions her eyes are transmitting right now but maybe something between anger and something that I can’t put a finger on.

“W-What do you want me to say?” I absolutely don’t know how she knows that.

“The truth!” It had been quite a while since she last looked at me with that much annoyance.

“It was me, I took you out of the snow” I lean into the wall tiredly.

“Why were you there?” She asked indignantly, walking to her couch.

“I was trying to clean my head-”

“The truth!”

“Someone I was expecting to be there didn’t show up… The ice rink was closed and thought about skiing” Two years without you showing up made me worried and jealous, that was the other truth.

“Why did you take me off?” She sits on her couch, looking at her feet.

“What- It’s not like I hate you, I’m not heartless!”

“Yeah, sure” She huffs not believing my words.

“I can’t lie, I know we’ve been hating each other all these years, but I don’t think I hate you anymore, ‘cause every single good memory I have, you’re there!” I feel a single tear streaming down my right cheek as I scream at her “I was in the snow that night 'cause I was jealous of Jeremy, that fucking bastard that never deserved you! I was worried that he hurt you because you know what happened when he started living with his ex! You always show up at family Christmas and then two years in a row?!”

“I-I-I don’t know what to s-say. You were there because of me?!”

“And thank god I was!” I sit next to her exasperated.

“I wanted to wait until your last game, after tomorrow… That was why I didn't told you before, I was scared!” She finally looks into my eyes and god, this is so fucking weird. It’s different from the anger she showed before. Her eyes are probably the most beautiful thing I ever saw, I could spend hours looking at her in complete silence.

“I don’t know when it changed, to be honest. Probably when you started dating that asshole… Then I was too scared to tell you”

“Ownt you love me? I knew it, always did” The woman in front of me, the prettiest one and wittiest one too, mess with me even after all this situation.

“Fine, continue acting like you hate me” I sit back looking at her pretending I don’t care but if she really just makes fun of me I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

“Don’t you dare look at me that way! Not now, after every vile thing we’ve done to each other” She smiles scooting closer to my stretched arm.

“Why can’t we just let whatever this pointless rivalry is go?” I look down at her almost shining eyes.

“You lied-” She tried to reason with me but her eyes couldn’t lie.

“And… We should talk about what just happened…” I sneak my hand to her waist confidently.

“I refuse to talk about how I just lost control and kissed you” She wraps her legs around my hip smiling an inch away from my mouth.

“That's what you said last night-” I couldn’t stop looking at her lips.

“Shut up, Lance!” She laughs before smacking her lips in mine.

@honeyric3 hope you enjoy <3

#formula 1 #f1 imagine #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll #lance stroll x you #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll fanfic #lance stroll fanfiction #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 x female reader

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rosesandalfazemas · 1 year

Text

Aye aye, my Captain!

This is the final product of a whole story @greengreekeyes25 and myself did during all these months. We did so many Pirates AU's by now, I think all that energy and ideas deserve a good final tribute. And this is mine (the wip is here if you are curious.)

I wanted to take a break of commissions and to practice more this "realistic painting" style. By the way, they were based on rl pirates, the poses are from two anonimous individuals and they were perfect for each one's attitude.

Hope you like it!~

Headcanons (because I studied a lot for the roleplaying and for this) and closeups behind the cut~

They've got details sakjdnskjda.

About the story:

Arthur (James) Kirkland is called the Tiger of The Seven Oceans, because he's a ferocious, scared and invincible captain, very well respected in the pirate community. The nickname came because when they were younger, he made a bet with his twins siblings (the Irelands) about each victory for them would be marked on his body as a tattoo. The result is, in the end, he fulled his shoulders and arms, so his older brother (Scott) told him he looked like a malasian tiger.

Pirates had their vanity; when they were immotalized in paitings and portraits they used their best clothing and weapons. This composition is inspired in real pirate paintings, so it is a mix of the fandom looking and real ones. The green stripes in the red coat represent the marks of the tiger (in green because they're tiny emeralds). They're the same shape as in his body. And the green pins in the chest are each captain he decapitated.

Colors were chosen for Greek, and they make a good contrast about energies and the elements each one have; Port is more an explorer and teacher, apparently calmer, and England is more aggresive and direct. The pose and the way of looking mark that too.

We had a matelotage, a legal marriage between pirates - that's why the gold rings. And this is the only historical register of how they looked; this was painted the same day of the famous "weeding", in which there were present remarkable pirates such as Francis (Corsaire l' Terror of Le Havre ) , Sadiq and Yao ("The Kings of the East" / muluk alsharq / Dōngfāng zhī wáng ) and Antonio ("El León de la Iberia"). Big good party.

How the couple met? What happened with them? it's a mistery. You can find them in a museum )?

It's the said that a lot of pirates tought that love was no real, and it was all a big performance to ensure their names; but others were there and testifed the union: two lines remembered in the chronicles of that time: "My heart is in your hands now, love of mine." " Then I will keep it with me forever." ... But maybe it's a tale.

The couple and their love was legendary, beyond their pirate actions. They were the best example of partners, friends and lovers. Arthur was known as a very harsh person, brutal and mean; but with Gabriel he was the kindest lad in the sea.

#hetalia #aph portugal #aph england #engport #porteng #piratalia #aupirates #pirates au #hwsengland #hws portugal #hws england #these old ladies of the sea filled our hearts #so yeah those sassy poses are from real sassy pirates

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mindofharry · 3 years

Text

Be My Baby

In which Prince harry and Princess Y/N are set to marry and are more than happy about it. They celebrate in more ways than one.

AHHHH!!! ITS HERE!!! FINALLY! Prince harry is my guilty pleasure. pls treat him with the respect he deserves. these two are officially my favourite people ever.

fluff & FILTHY SMUT!!!!!! feedback is welcome as always! <3

“Princess Y/N is arriving soon, Harry” Anne, the queen of england said putting down her tea. Harry is the prince, next in line for the throne - Marriage is very important to the throne and for the throne. Anne has been very strict about that, preparing Harry for marriage. Princess Y/N of wales, is who Harry is meeting with today. Hopefully, to settle a deal. Harry has never cared for marriage or for a partner. He’s a lone wolf as his family would describe. But if he wants to be king, he needs to marry. And Y/N is looking like the only option at the moment.

Harry nodded putting the paper down and looking up at his mother. He pursed his lips leaning back in his seat.

“Is something the matter, dear?”

Harry shook his head “No, mother. Just tired” he lied, reassuring his mother. Anne didn’t press any further just got one of the servants to pour her more tea. She could read harry very well, she knew her son better than he knew himself. Y/N is perfect for him. Even if they do not marry, she will be a life long friend. But anne is sure they will marry within the year.

And Queen Anne is never wrong.

Y/N was late.

Harry was beginning to become bored, don’t get him wrong he loves his sister and mother. But he can only take so much. All he wanted to do was to be curled up with a book in the abandoned side of the castle - no one except for the young prince had been there. It was locked up for years before harry found the key, it was like a whole new world in there. It was dirty, messy, filthy - just how harry liked it. He decorated a room in there, and it’s like his safe place from all of this. All of these stupidly important responsibilities. His safe haven.

They were meant to be meeting, talking about their futures together. If his mother thought this was what was best for the country, then harry would push through. He hadn’t see Y/N in years, meeting when they were both much younger. No pressure, just the two kids playing in the fields. Y/N was beautiful, so care free. Harry wished he was like Y/N - the only think she seemed to care about were the moon, the sun and the stars. They never saw each other again after that, they have both obviously seen each other in papers and at events. But never talked. Y/N didn’t know why, neither did harry. They weren’t on the same chapter in life. But now, they’re both willing to do what is best for their country.

And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad marrying a soon to be king.

A servant comes into the dining room bowing at the styles family. Harry waits for him to speak - except a tall girl, bumps into him making the servant fall foward. Y/N (the tall girl) giggled, before clearing her throat and bowing at the styles family. Harry smirked and leaned back. Anne was standing a smile on her face as she saw her soon beaming for the first time in months.

“Your highness” Y/N said bowing, nearly falling down again. But she grinned covering it up. Her dress was long and tight - her mother made her wear it. She would much rather be in a nice flowy dress in the woods right now. Maybe reading about the sun. But her mother needed her to do this, so Y/N would.

Y/N’s father died a couple of months back, it was sudden and no one saw it coming. So her mother needed her to marry as Y/N is the oldest of four girls. They needed a man of the house and once Y/N married, harry would be that man. Y/N didn’t like that one bit. She could be the man of the house if she wanted to. She didn’t understand why they needed a man to pay for things, to do stuff for them. Women are just as capable. But there was no fighting with Y/N’s mother. And Y/N knew she was having a rough time without her husband and Y/N’s dad.

“Princess Y/N, it’s good to have you here” Anne said, as a servant helped her back into the seat. Y/N had the same treatment but she looked rather uncomfortable. She was seated infront of harry, which was glad of. It’s a nice view, she’ll admit. He had grown into his baby face, she thought. And that hair. Fuck, that hair.

“Thank you for inviting me, your highness” Y/N said smiling softly. “Your castle is amazing” She said and Anne nodded pointing around at the paintings. “I actually just got these new paintings in from a new artist in rome. Just beautiful, right harry?” Anne said, giving harry the look. His mother is giving him that look a lot recently, Anne just wants what is best for him and harry just doesn’t seem to care at all. It’s like he’s away from reality. In another universe half of the time. Anne was hoping Y/N would be able to bring him back down to earth, but from her entrance in here - Harry and Y/N are a lot more similar than she thought.

“Yeah, they’re beautiful” Harry said staring at the girl infront of him. Y/N blushed under his stare. She had never felt anything like this before for a man. Her stomach was in knots and her cheeks were getting hotter by the second.

The dinner was nice. It was quiet with Y/N trying to keep up the small talk - Anne was impressed with that. Everyone she had invited to the palace would only talk when spoken to, but Y/N had a certain way about her. She had manners of course, the kindest soul, but she talked. She could talk all day if she was allowed. She just never ran out of things to say. But the food was really good, so Y/N was quieter than usual. Harry had one question: did they feed her in the city? The way she was eating was like she had been starved for years.

“This is amazing” Y/N said putting her fork down. Anne grinned at the girl nodding to herself. She had found a keeper.

“Harry, why do you show Y/N around? She’s going to be staying here for the next couple of weeks” Anne announced and Y/N nearly choked on her water, she tapped her chest.

“I am?-“

“she is?”

Harry and Y/N both spoke at the same time, Anne tutted and ordered the servant to fill up her wine.

“Your mother and I have arranged it. Everything you have is here already, you’ll have your own quarters too. Your horse is being transported down here as we speak” Anne said making new room for arguing. “Y/N your mother said she would be happy for us to host you here if the dinner went accordingly. And i think it went more than accordingly” Anne continued sipping her wine.

Harry and Y/N looked to each other their eyes both wide with amusement and shock. Only their parents would do this.

“Now, run along. Gemma and I have some talking to do” Anne ordered, the servants came and helped the princess and prince up following them out of the dinning room. Y/N was rather uncomfortable with the servants being everywhere, she had a lot more freedom at home.

“Hey, you wanna do something fun?” She asked and harry raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Hey! Intruder” Y/N yelled and the servants looked around quickly, harry was startled when Y/N laughed loudly taking his hand in hers and running down the hallway towards the abandoned part of the castle. Harry grinned and laughed loudly as they ran together.

This girl, he thought.

The door was locked. Harry brought a key out of his pocket and Y/N laughed loudly making harry shush her as he unlocked the door. Quickly they made themselves into the abandoned quarters and giggled to themselves when they heard the servants feet making their way to this side of the castle - but immediately they turned away, knowing that they weren’t allowed on this side of the palace.

Harry was distracted with locking the door, but Y/N was amazed. She looked around at this place and couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her. This place is really fucking amazing, she thought. It’s obviously abandoned, that man she could tell - but it was still so beautiful. Paintings, upon paintings and books at every end. There was high ceilings and stained glass windows giving a nice hew to the room. Y/N brought her hands to her hips and spinned around her dress moving as she did.

“This place is fucking amazing!”

Harry laughed and finally got the door locked popping the key back in his pocket. He moved beside the beautiful girl and didn’t say anything. But Y/N knew.

“You come here often?” She asked and Harry nodded.

“Found it a couple years ago. Think it was my fathers” He said and Y/N sighed looking around.

“It’s beautiful” you’re beautiful, he wanted to say but he bit his lip instead walking in the direction of his safe haven. Y/N quickly caught up placing a hand on his, harry flinched at the touch. This definitely wasn’t allowed. If anyone saw they’d have to marry immediately. But nobody was here, he reminded himself. And with that he squeezed Y/N’s hand a little tighter.

Harry opened the door the room he had been coming to for years now. It had a few chairs, a huge window with curtains on each side, a fire place in the middle and blankets and pillows surrounding the room. Y/N smiled to herself as she saw harry become more himself. It was like this room allowed him to be himself.

“You come in here often?”

Harry nodded making himself comfortable on one of the pillows, Y/N soon followed sitting very close to the prince. Harry had no complaints at all.

“I come here most days. When i need to take a breath, escape my mother and the stupid royal family” Harry said and Y/N giggled leaning in to harry, their lips close.

“I can think of many ways we can escape reality. Why don’t we try one of them?”

Harry let out a sigh and placed his hand on Y/N shoulder, it fell down her arm to her waist. Harry had been with people before, he had kissed and pleasured many, many people. But never did he feel like this. He felt as if she was a goddess, and she would brake it the touch of his finger. She looked almost fragile, like a painting.

“Kiss me, Harry” She ordered and harry wasted no time, placing his lips on hers.

Her lips are soft and gentle, just as harry had expected. He moved his hands up her hips to her shoulders again, Y/N moaned letting harry's tongue into her mouth. Harry groaned and pulled away smirking at that flushed look on her face. He loved it.

Y/N bit her lip standing up, unzipping her dress. She turned around, the only thing she had was a small night dress and corset. Harry cursed under his breath standing up behind her. Everything felt so intimate. They both felt a lot of things, Y/N never wanted this to stop. Harry hugged her from behind, kissing the back of her neck. After a few seconds, Y/N turned around in his hold, holding his gaze. She began to take off her corset and night dress, now bare. She felt confident in Harry's glare, he made her feel good. He sucked in a breath looking down at her perky breasts, her nipples hard from the temperature of the room. He made a mental note to put the fire on after this, Harry knew you two would be in here for as long as you possibly could. He knew his mother would be beyond pissed that they had gone off alone together.

Harry placed a hand on Y/N’s breast, teasing her nipple with his index finger. His rings were cold on her skin making her whimper. Harry smirked at the sound, lowering his head and taking her nipple in his mouth his tongue swirling the nub of it. Y/N’s hands found harrys hair and she tugged on it hard.

“Fuck” She cursed and harry let go with a pop, again he smirked at the sight of the princess. So undone and flustered. Harry absolutely loved it. Holding her gaze, he began to undress unbuttoning his shirt and pants. Heat rushed to his penis, as Y/N watched him undress.

“Want to have you in my mouth” Y/N said, getting on her knees. She knew she would have bruises by the end of this - but she knew it would be worth.

“Don’t make me cum” Harry ordered, Y/N just smirked and pulled his underwear down almost drooling at the sight of his red, cock full of pre-cum. What a sight, she thought. And it’s fucking huge. Bigger than she thought that’s for sure.

She hummed, pumping harry’s rock hard cock. His head flew back, a moan filling the room. Harry wished her hair was pinned back, he needed some to grip. He took both of his hands and gripped the side of her head. Y/N spit on his cock, keeping eye contact with harry.

“Shit”

Y/N licked the tip, running her tongue over the slit, tasting the saltiness of his pre cum. Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head.

“You taste so good” She moaned, finally taking his full cock into her mouth. Her hands began pumping the base of the shaft, as she sucked him off. Harry moaned, but tapped the side of her head.

“Need to be in you, no more foreplay” He said and Y/N pouted whipping her lips.

“But i like having you in my mouth” Y/N argued, harry smirked pecking her lips, tasting himself on them. He hummed in agreement. “Next time, let me fuck you” He said kissing her neck, Y/N sighed and placed her lips on his before crawling over to the fireplace - there was a white sheet layed out. Y/N lay down and harry kissed down her stomach, teasingly kissing her thighs. “You’re definitely wet enough for me, aren’t you princess?” Harry said slapping her pussy, Y/N moaned and nodded.

Slowly, harry thrusted into Y/N making them both whimper. “Fuck, you feel so good” Harry said, kissing your lips. Y/N just moaned, gripping his back and putting her legs around his waist. Harry began to move faster, his hands either side of Y/N.

“Faster” Y/N said and harry complied, pounding into her. The moans coming out of the both them were enough to make them both cum within seconds. And that’s basically what happened. They both climaxed, harry falling down into Y/N’s chest. Y/N only felt pleasure and ecstasy.

Shit, her mother picked a good one.

***

“Fuck” Y/N panted into harry’s mouth as he took against the wall. They were left alone for ten minutes, and this happened. They were looking at the new paintings and architecture Anne had got, browsing around the hall. Harry had convinced the servant that his mother was calling and of course the poor servant couldn’t dismiss it, so they had a good ten minutes while the servant searched for the queen.

Harry pounded into her the paintings on the wall knocking loudly, Y/N laughed loudly making harry put a hand over her mouth.

“Don’t want to attract any attention, do we princess?”

They continued their hot and very messy quicky and then made their way to the gardens. Y/N and harry soon found that the gardens would be another safe haven. Beautiful flowers and when the sun is shining a beautiful place to sit and relax.

They couldn’t wait to marry - seen as harry wants Y/N in his bed, all the time. They fuck like bunnies, it’s amazing how they haven’t been caught as of yet. When they get their own palace, harry will christen to the whole place. They’ll fuck in every corner. Every room. Every library and garden.

Y/N looked at harry smiling as he lay on the grass. No one was around as the servant hadn’t arrived back. Y/N quickly looked around before pulling harry into what she could only assume was a place to keep all the fruit and veg away from foxes. It was closed off and you could lock it from the inside.

“Jesus christ Y/N” Harry mumbled kissing your neck as you leaned back on a bench.

“Another round?” You asked with innocent eyes.

“Another round” Harry confirmed lifting up the bottom of her dress and pushing her down so she was flat on the bench. He kissed up her legs, biting down on her thigh.

He pulled up her night gown and saw her bare pussy, wet and glistening just waiting for him. He could cum at the sight. He moaned kissing her thigh, teasing her.

Y/N tugged at harry’s hair, giving him a warning. “Stop, teasing” She pouted and harry smirked finally making his way towards your pussy.

Y/N closed her eyes when she felt harrys breath against her core. “so wet, princess” Harry said, the vibrations going right through her body making her jerk up a little. Harry loved the affect he had on her, the littlest thing would make her jolt with pleasure.

Harry spread her legs a little more, his tongue licking up her slit. Y/N’s tugged on harry’s hair, moaning loudly. Harry watched her unfold becoming so flushed, but Y/N looked so very beautiful in this light.

He pressed his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue up and down. Your hips moved with his tongue movements, harrys hands made their way to your hips trying to get them to stay in place. You wrapped your legs around his shoulders and began to shake and moan.

“Fuck me” You murmured coming down from your high.

“Oh, i will princess”

The days went on and more fucking occurred. Again they fucked like absolute bunnies. They were sure everyone knew by now, but the servants were way too afraid to say anything. Anne would have everyone’s head if she found out what they were doing.

“I can’t wait to marry you” Harry said laying down beside her in their safe haven. Y/N smirked rolling over on her side. He was so beautiful. His eyes, his freckles, that one dimple that came out when he laughed. She was so lucky to call him hers.

“You just want to have me in your bed everyday” She said and harry pretended to think about. “Hmmm, yeah” He said, making Y/N laugh loudly before pecking his lips.

“Can’t believe you’re mine” Harry said pushing her into his chest. Y/N grinned pecking his neck and looking up at him.

“Forever”

#harry styles #prince!harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles requests

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arianaagreyy · 3 years

Text

I Love You || James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Words: 2096 words

Warning: Fluff, Insecurity, Emotional talk, Panic attack

___________________________________________________________

Y/N was the talk of Hogwarts. Intelligent, Sarcastic, Funny, Athletic but most of all, beautiful inside and out. The kindest soul to walk the grounds of Hogwarts. Kind to the Slytherins that bullied her, kind to the children who adored her.

It was no secret that James Potter was absolutely head over heels in love with his amazing girlfriend. Both of them were the ideal couple. Quidditch players, smart students, attractive looks. Girls envied Y/N whereas boys envied James and he liked showing you off as well.

But despite being loved by boys and girls alike, Y/N always had trouble fitting in. The day she transferred from Durmstrang to Hogwarts, she was terrified of how she'll fit in. She was on the verge of a panic attack when a red-head girl had so kindly offered her a hand to show around the castle, thus starting the friendship between Lily Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.

Now, with her friends, Y/N, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas entered the Potions classroom, tired because of laughing so hard from all the way from the Gryffindor dormitory to the Dungeons.

"Welcome ladies. So very kind of you to grace us with your presence", Professor Slughorn's voice seized their noise of laughter. Slughorn had a very sour expression on his face whereas two rows away, James Potter was looking at his girlfriend in awe.

The way her deep blue eyes were glistening in the light and shiny from laughing so hard, the way her lips formed the most beautiful smile James had ever seen in his life, the way her Y/H/C hair framed her perfectly carved face. He was so in love with her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a paper plane hitting the back of his head and falling on the table. He lifted the paper to open it.

Whipped. -Signed Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail.

He turned back to see the three boys trying to muffle the sound of their laughter by putting their hands on their mouths. James rolled his eyes and mouthed "Fuck off".

"We're sorry Professor. It won't happen again", her beautiful voice spoke. James looked around the class to see the boys looking at her with such admiration, It made him want to hex them all into the next century. Only he could see his Y/N with those eyes.

At the same time, James looked back at her just to see she was looking back at him with a smile so warm, it almost melted him.

"It shouldn't happen again. Now get inside. We already lost a lot of time", Slughorn rushed the girls into the class. All of them took their places next to their respective partners, Y/N being paired with Lucius Malfoy whereas James was stuck with Snape who, once in a while looked at him, rolled his eyes and went back to doing what he previously was.

James glanced over Y/N's direction to see Lucius Malfoy laughing silently on something Y/N said, a smile on her face as well. She was too good to people, even if they were undeserving of her kindness.

As time went by, James started getting more aware of the laughing noises coming from where his girlfriend was sitting. There were many thoughts running through his mind.

What if she thinks I'm not good enough.

What if she's not happy with me.

They both look so happy.

She has the ability to see the goodness in even the darkest of souls.

What if I'm not enough for her.

Consumed by his thoughts, he was at the verge of a panic attack when Professor Slughorn announced that the class was dismissed. James quickly picked up his books in one hand, slung his bag over his shoulder and bolted out of the classroom, not even sparing a glance towards Y/N, who was looking at James with concerned eyes.

Y/N sensed something was wrong so she very politely excused herself from Lucius, packed her stuff and ran off to the direction James did.

They had been together for nearly a year now but neither of them had told the other that they were completely and utterly in love with them. Y/N decided to tell him today. Now.

She had been building up her confidence to say this to him for a while now and that's what she was discussing with the girls earlier in the day until Marlene had changed the topic into something too hilarious.

She climbed the stairs that led to the Gryffindor Common Room, hoping she would find James there. She entered the Common Room to hear the sound of heavy breathing alongside muffled sobs coming from the boys' dormitory.

A lump formed in her throat as she slowly made her way towards the source of the sound. She opened the Marauders' room to find James sitting in a corner of the room with his knees scrunched up to his stomach, elbows on his knees and hands in his hair. He was shaking violently from the pressure of his sobs.

Y/N stood there trying to absorb the situation. Her strong, smart, funny boyfriend was sitting in a secluded corner of a room crying because of God knows what.

She slowly took steps towards him and fell on her knees in front of him. He somehow felt her presence as he stopped shaking and tried wiping away his tears but Y/N stopped his hand from reaching his face.

"You should be in class Y/N", he said, his voice raspy from crying so badly. Y/N's heart broke at the sight in front of her. He didn't lift up his head as he talked to her.

"And you should be dropping me to class", she spoke in a calming voice, trying to soothe him. Whenever she talked in this manner, James' nerves always calmed down but somehow this time, they only grew. His breathing started getting heavy again but he refused to look in her direction.

He knew he was over-thinking. He also talked to girls but Y/N never reacted in this way whereas when Y/N talked to any guy, he would start feeling this indescribable feeling to break that guy's face.

Y/N detected his heavy breathing and placed her hand on his bicep. James felt her soothing touch and his breathing returned to normal. Y/N then placed her hand on his already messy hair and started massaging his head, something she knew James liked.

He looked up to see her eyes full of concern and tears at the brims of them. As soon as Y/N looked into his eyes, a tear escaped her eye. His hazel eyes didn't have that mischievous glint in them; they had a broken look in them, like he lost something very dear to him.

James' hand was quick to wipe away the tear that left Y/N's eye. She looked so concerned for him. Just for him.

"James what's wrong?" she asked, her voice so calm, so enchanting.

"Is everything ok? Are Mia and Monty ok? Did something happened to Sirius? Are you hurt?" she bombarded him with concerning questions.

He shook his head as an indication that nothing of that sort happened. Her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke in a low voice:

"Did I do something wrong? I messed up. Didn't I?"

James quickly stood up on his feet, ears ringing from anger. How could she think that she did something to sadden him. She's perfect in every way. A perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend, a perfect daughter.

Y/N also stood up quickly, her hand falling from James' head.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?" he practically screamed at her.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT YOU DID SOMETHING THAT COULD EVER SADDEN ME?"

By now he had lost all his senses. Nothing mattered more to him that his Y/N. His.

"You're the reason I smile everyday. You are the reason I wake up everyday. Just to look at you. You bring joy in my life, happiness that I never knew existed. Everything you do is so bloody perfect. You are so perfect", he spoke in a hushed voice but loud enough for Y/N to hear.

"And I can't even begin to thank you for all that you've done to me, for me. But me? What did I do to you besides showing you public affection? I never talked to you in class. I didn't buy gifts for you. I didn't stand up for you in class. I don't deserve you", he spoke, his eyes no longer connected to Y/N's.

She looked at the boy standing in front of him. That confident, arrogant toe-rag who looked so vulnerable right now.

"I see how the other boys look at you. With such admiration in their eyes. Whenever I find them staring at you, it just makes me feel as if I'm not good enough for you. I'll never be able to-"

He was cut off by Y/N throwing a pillow at his face. He finally looked up to see her face stained with tears, similar as his. Her eyes weren't glistening with happiness, they were glistening with sadness. Sadness that he could think he's not good enough for her.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?" It was her turn to scream now.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME", she shouted, tears falling from her eyes.

James was staring at Y/N with wide eyes. She was such a calm-spoken person and hearing her shout was new. But some part of him calmed down hearing her defend him.

"James, none of those boys were there for me when I needed help, none of them comforted me after my nightmares, none of them helped me catch up to my studies, none of them defended me from bullies. It was you. It was you all along", she said in a calm voice yet tears were still silently flowing from her eyes.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me James Potter. I don't care how those boys look at me. I care about how YOU look at me. You make me strong Potter. You make me happy", she said with a smile. I teary smile made its way to James' face as well.

"And I have absolutely no idea why you're so insecure about yourself because-", she stopped and took a deep breath.

"Because I love you James Potter. And even if I have to remind you that, I'll do it every single day, I will. Because I'll go any lengths just to be with you", she ended with a sniff.

James stood frozen, staring at her. Looking into her eyes.

Love.

He saw love in her eyes. Love for him. Not Lucius, not anybody. Him.

Before he knew it, he was taking fast steps towards her and slammed his lips to hers. This felt right. It felt as though they were home. In each other's arms. A comfortable warmth spread through their bodies as they held each other close with an intention of never letting go. Y/N was his drug and he gladly surrendered to her.

They broke apart with a smile etched on both of their faces.

"I love you Y/N. I love you more than myself", he said, sincerity in his voice.

"I know. I'm just too irresistible", she said, flipping her hair off her shoulder and looking at James with a smile that he wished he he could see everyday.

James pulled her into a comfortable embrace. Her hands rested on his neck and his on her waist, pulling her close. He dug his face into the crook of her neck.

"I'm never letting you go Mrs. Potter", his voice came out muffled. She let out a small chuckle which made blood rise to James' cheeks.

Suddenly, she pulled apart and looked at him with a glint in her eyes that meant trouble.

"Did you get jealous because I was talking to Lucius earlier?", she asked with a raised eyebrow. James didn't reply, just looked down, his face getting redder. she let out a laugh.

"Oh my god. I absolutely have to tell Pads and Moony you got jealous of Lucius", she shouted as she darted towards the exit, looking at James one more time before winking at him and left.

Too surprised to do anything, he let out a laugh of his own. A laugh of happiness, a laugh of love.

#james potter x you #james potter x reader #marauders #harry potter #hogwarts #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #gryffindor #lucius malfoy x you #angst with a happy ending #hp text post #marauders x you #sirius orion black #marauders x y/n #lily evans #atyd marlene #x y/n

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some-dr-writings · 3 years

Text

SDR2 guys x intimidating looking but sweet S/O

Hajime Hinata:

· You had been Hajime’s best friend for as long as he could remember. You were always so smart and the top in your class. Truthfully Hajime expected you to be invited to Hope’s Peak, but… you were always rambunctious. As smart as you were, you didn’t care for rules that existed outside ones of safety. You were labeled the school delinquent, getting into fights, breaking most rules for the sake of breaking them, doing whatever you could to get a reaction from others, all the while smiling and laughing away having the time of your life.

· “Ah! Hajime! That’s amazing!” “Y/N!?” You scooped him into your arms, lifting off his feet, spinning around and around. “MY boy, going to HOPE’S PEAK ACADEMY! This is amazing!” Suddenly your spinning came to a stop, stomping a foot on the ground to do so. “Hajime. Hope’s Peak is far, so you’ll be moving right? If that’s the case, you better text me every day! Okay, you don’t have to if you don’t want too, but at least keep me informed of the big stuff like how your first day was or the school festival or at least the sports day! Or, OR! If you’d like, maybe I could move with you, somewhere close to the school and I’ll just get a job in the area so you could just talk to me in person! I would visit, but even by train it’s a two-day trip and I’d probably get board at some point and get kicked off, and there’s also studying for school or work or whatever I do.” A light pink dusted Hajime’s cheeks, feeling a bit flustered at how excited you were, still effortlessly him closely, high off the ground. He swore his heart began to race seeing your absolutely beaming smile which seemed to shine brighter than the sun to him.

· When with his friends he’d speak of you often, not to the point of annoyance, just enough for them to know he clearly missed you. From how he described you, you seemed to be the sweetest, most wholesome person in existence despite being a bit rowdy. So when Kazuichi caught Hajime holding hands and appearing to be going on a date with a person covered in scars exposed by your unbuttoned shirt, haired dyed a bright blond, scary tattoos, spiked jacket and boots, even having a mask covering you face, nobody believed him till Hajime walked in on the conversation, saying that was you. After that they insisted on meeting you, wanting to know such a seemingly contrasting person existed, and when they did meet you, they gave Hajime their approval, even if he didn’t want or need it.

Izuru Kamakura:

· Many things Izuru found boring, but if he had to choose one thing he found more boring than anything else, it’d have to be the baseless rumors surrounding you, his partner, all because you had a scary face. It was so ridiculous he couldn’t even entertain the idea of you secretly being the heir of a yakuza gang or something so off the wall even he couldn’t recall. Whenever he heard such rumors as he walked down Hope’s Peak’s halls, he thought he may just fall asleep from how tiring it was, thinking about the mental gymnastics people had to go through to even come to such conclusions.

· It was another day and again he heard of your imaginary exploits of having killed a man in cold blood for money or some such and instantly he just felt exhausted. He continued to walk till he stopped before a door and knocked. “Oh, hey Izu-baby. What brings you here?” “… I just found myself here.” You chuckled, simply opening the door, taking your boyfriend’s hand and leading him in.

· You promptly plopped him into a seat, going off to get something, Izuru had the chance to examine the many brushes, hair products and hair accessories spread out on the counter. There were even several sticky notes on the edges of the large vanity mirror, neat writing noting some appointments you had. Seems like he had come in when you were cleaning between appointments. “I found a new brush and I think it should work well with your thick long hair.” You placed your a hand on one of the back rest corners of the chair, leaning a little over him, smiling as you held said brush before him. “Then test it.”

· You giddily collected his hair, your touch occasionally grazing across his skin. Your hands though covered in cuts, slightly dyed from all your hair styling work, and probably tired from having worked for almost six hours straight according to the sticky notes, they still were ever so gentle, making sure to not get caught on or pull any knots. Then you began to brush, starting from the bottom and working your way up. “Izuru, you have a few split ends, and it’s been a while, mind if I give you a light trim while I have you here?” “You have an appointment in forty-three minuets.” “Hmm… Yeah, I can get this done in time.” Once you reached the top you gave his hair a few extra strokes from top to bottom, making sure you got everything. “Oh, I also found a new shampoo which can help your hair. It’s still so dull, but at this point it might be because of your diet since I can’t seem to find anything that can work for you. Have you been eating? Has the staff been testing you on talents again and not feeding you?” “No.” You were going to ponder for a moment, to try figuring out what your boyfriend’s problem could be when said boyfriend placed a hand on your cheek, lightly pulling you beside him. Closing his eyes, he leaned in and kissed you on the cheek. “You’re so exhausted you forgot we spoke of this very subject yesterday.” “Huh?” Your entire face flushed a bright red, still unused to Izuru’s sparce displays of affection. Then to your confusion he pulled you onto his lap. “I-Izu-baby?” “You are taking a nap.” For some reason in that moment of seeing you so flustered he recalled the rumors. The thought of you even harming a fly was laughable, you were the absolute sweetest, kindest, caring person he had ever met. Holding you close he simply leaned into you, thinking you could both use a nap together.

Nagito Komaeda:

· You made your own rumors. The ones about you secretly being an assassin, you started it. The one about how you once were an international thief, you did it. The one about you selling drugs, that one was actually an accident, you were just getting a friend their pain meds, but you spread about a few more stories like it not long after. Why purposefully spread rumors many would wonder… well… there were two reasons.

· The first, you found most people annoying and simply didn’t want to deal with them, content with your small, very close friend group. It was the perfect way to get people to back off so you wouldn’t have to deal with them in their first place. You also found some fun in seeing people run from you from your presents alone, made you feel like some cartoon super villain which you found quite amusing.

· The second reason… You had always told your boyfriend the first one, but to his confusion, you’d always avoid telling him the other reason. Nagito knew you’d had to have your reasons for not telling him, but… well you were his partner, of course he was going to worry a little even if it seemed you knew what you were doing.

· But he could ignore it no longer when you took the blame for him. Nagito came up with a plan to blow up a building, forcing the exams to be delayed so his classmates could have more time to prepare for them… and you took for the blame for it, being expelled for a time, but not forever. You couldn’t even stay on your dorm on campus, winding up staying in some cheap hotel paid by the school.

· “Why did you do it?” “Eh, Nagito?” “WHY! Why did you take the blame for me!? I was trying to get you more time so you could show off in glory, but now you’re stuck here. Why did you do it?” Nagito was always so calm and composed, likely from facing disaster after disaster caused by his bad luck, but he was actually troubled, he was upset, but not even at himself like he always did thinking himself trash, no, he was legitimately upset with you. “… Normally people greet their partner with a ‘hello’ or something.” The last thing you were expected to be greeted by your first morning exiled from school was your boyfriend in such a state. “I- No. Y/N, tell me, why?” “… I…” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, this new side you had never even thought existed, yet you also couldn’t bear to look at him either so instead you looked to his feet. “I don’t want to lie to you, but… I don’t want to tell you the truth either. But! What I can tell you, is that this is fine, I chose this, I wanted this. So, you don’t have to worry about me, this just means I have even more time to develop my talent.” You tried giving him a smile, but it just ended up strained seeing that didn’t placate him. W-why? He always saw everything ultimates did was amazing and respected even the worst of decisions, yet… he was mad, and sad, and so many other things you couldn’t pinpoint not being able to bring yourself to study his expression for long.

· “No, this is not fine. What you did is not helping you. This is only a detriment. I-I-I, I just can’t understand! I can’t understand why. How did this turn out so wrong?” “… the other reason.” “Huh?” You spoke so quietly, it was but a whisper, Nagito had just barely caught it. “The other reason… It’s why I NEED a bad reputation, not just something I want for the fun of it.” You sighed, preparing for the inevitable Nagito calling himself trash and you trying to comfort him song and dance. “You’re such a volatile wild card. I never know what you’ll do next. Nagito, you literally tried to blow up a building with people inside, I know your luck probably would have saved them or something or you assumed the ultimates inside would save the day, but… that’s not healthy! You’ve been through so much and need help. I, I want to help you, but I just don’t know what to do. So… to me, the best I can do is try to protect you.” Even as his eyes widened, realizing what happened, you continued. “With a bad reputation, rumors of all sorts, both extreme and little, it can be expected that I can do anything without it being out of character. I can take on anyone’s bad actions and call it my own and all will believe it… Even if I can’t protect you from the insanity that is our life, the very least I can do is protect you from yourself, the consequences of your actions. I can’t get you to at last see yourself as decent, I can’t stop your luck from torturing you, this… this is all I can think of for what I could ever do for you… it’s the only kind of affection I can give without you saying or thinking you’re unworthy of it… though I guess I don’t even have that now, but… I don’t know, maybe this was-”

· …

· He hugged you. He didn’t know what to say. He took in everything you said, yet his mind was just blank. He had so much to say, yet he just could… All he could do was just nuzzle into you, one who was just so sweet and kind, and… he needed to better for you, Nagito at least new that for sure.

Imposter:

· Imposter wondered how they ever were lucky enough to find a partner like you. They never thought they’d find anyone who could get them to see themselves as a person even without the disguises, let alone a whole class at one point. Yes, they still disguised themselves, but when they were just with you they felt okay to not keep the make-up, wigs and costumes. They were just… whoever they were without being someone else. Their own identity was something they still struggled with but working on it with your helped.

· Individuals who could stay true to themselves no matter what were people they respected highly, that was probably what got them to fall for you in the first place. No matter who avoided you, the children who cried from seeing your large, buff figure, no matter the sports nuts who insisted on you joining their team, you always were the shy Super High School Level Flower Shop Keep who loved exercising.

· When they first met you, they were masquerading as Beyakuya Togami, not exactly the most sociable of personalities, so they thought they scared you away. When first meeting a person you didn’t speak much, instead you’d gift flowers and spoke through flower language. “Oh, well… there’s a lot you can say with flowers. I’ve just always liked them. I just like being outside, so I exercise a lot! But then I got toned, and already being on the bulkier side some people find me scary… Ah, but if I give the children flowers, they usually stop crying… unless a bee comes by, then they cry again.” Even though you were so soft spoken when you did speak, it was still rather intimidating. There was just so much power in it.

· They rather enjoyed how you’d decorate them with your beloved plants, whether it be placing them behind their ear, in their hair, or in their breast pocket. They also adored each bouquet you gave. Very quickly their whole dorm room smelled of fast-food and a light floral perfume. They pressed and kept every last flower, preserving them all even the ones from when you first met.

· You were so open and honest, even though you tried hiding it they knew when you had a crush on them- or well Beyakuya… They had no identity outside of whoever they were impersonating, but… the thought made their heart ache. So, when you came up to them with giant bouquet filled with tulips, purple roses, red roses, alstroemerias, and baby’s breath they could easily see even as you hid it behind your back, a bright blush on your cheeks, they knew what was happening, and rejected you before you could give them the flowers and confess. You hugged the bouquet close as they explained their situation, and even after, you still held out the flowers to them. “So, your identity is more complex than I knew, but all our time together still happened. And if you change identities, it’ll be like a change in color. Definitely different, even changing the meaning, but the base is still the same, you’ll still remember our time together even as someone else.” And since that moment, no matter what came, you never left them.

Gundham Tanaka:

· The moment Gundham met the Super High School Level Vet, Gundham fell head over heels for them. They were an intimidating, brutish, scarred from battles past, every last feature was terrifying, their features sharp, everything about them commanded the respect of all, even getting his Dark Devas to be weary of them at first sight.

· Caring for animals was a tricky job, it often involved getting scratches and bites, but you also needed to be patient and kind. You needed to be respected but also not appear hostile. A balance you embodied, looking fierce, yet you were so gentle and sensitive to others around you.

· The pair of you always spent time looking after his many animals, tending to any injuries or illnesses they possibly could have gotten.

· You also tended to Gundham Tanaka himself, much to his flustered, blushing protest. “I have no such injures of which you speak!” “Tanaka, you can’t even hold a pencil you hand is hurting so bad. Please let me at least look at it.” He kept refusing till some students came by asking if he were alright, fearing the scary looking person who kept looming around him all day. “Pathetic! Of such a low level you can’t even decern one’s true nature!” Then he stomped off till finally he found you. “My Emperor!” “Hey Tana-” “I seek thy aid, for only one of your caliber could even remotely stand a chance of resisting my poisoned skin, let alone tent to the curse that plagues this mortal form!” You just silently stared at him for a moment before you started fussing over him, clutching his jacket since you wanted to hug him. “What happened!? Did it get worse!? Tell me EVERYTHING about how you feel! Do you think it’s infected!? How does it hurt!? Does it sting or burn, or what!?” Gundham himself began to panic, unsure as to how to calm and put you at ease, never before seeing you worried to the point of tears forming in the corners of your eyes! However, you did quickly settle down, getting serious tending to his wound…

· And even as you did so, you avoided touching him. If you needed to apply ointment, you’d use a q-tip, you’d do anything you could to not touch him… Even you tending to him sent his heart racing, showing vulnerability, he was used to giving the care, not the other way around. He felt vulnerable in a way, he showed you he was hurting, but you were so gentle with him, so aware of him, even stopping and giving him a moment to pause and collect himself.

· Someone so attentive and understanding… He groaned, embarrassed at how giddy, and excited, and nervous even the mere thought of you made him.

Kazuichi Soda:

· He was terrified of you at first, even going so far as to actively avoid you. But then he met you. The moment he did so he was so confused as to how he found you scary? After actually taking to you, he found you, looks and all so adorable! He’d gush to anyone and everyone about how kind and amazing and sweet you were. He’d defend you to the death if a person even made the smallest negative comment about you, much to your complete embarrassment.

· After becoming your boyfriend Kazuichi would always hang around you, cooing over everything that was you, shattering any intimidating precents you had with the man hugging your arm, speaking in such a sickeningly sweet tone with sparkling eyes.

· Feeling like the world was against you, Kazuichi spent all his time with you to make up for it. No matter how many times you told him he didn’t have to he insisted on giving you all the affection you so rightly deserve!

· When you weren’t embarrassed by the man’s antics you’d be just as affectionate in return. As he tinkered on whatever you’d hug him from behind, sighing, and nuzzling into the nape of his neck, tickling him, distracting him from his work. He’d giggle, giddy out of his mind at having someone so sweet and adorable love him almost as much as he loved you!

· If Kazuichi caught even one person giving you a funny look, he’d just hug and snuggle you with a pout, glaring at others.

· “Kazu, you don’t have to defend me from everyone. I know I’m not exactly the most approachable looking.” “What!? No! You are gorgeous! Adorable! Beautiful! Don’t self-deprecate yourself!” “I’m not, I just… I know you’re affectionate, but you don’t have to be so protective, I appreciate it, but you don’t have to do this every time. I just want you to enjoy yourself not feel like you have to be my knight in shining armor or something.” “Well, I can’t enjoy myself if others are being jerks!” Kazuichi would never admit it to you, but he felt guilty. He knew what it was like to be bullied, for others to make comments. He also felt guilty for judging you so much before meeting you. he was once scared with a person he instantly fell in love with after finally talking to them. He just wanted to make up for that, he wanted to say he was sorry… And feeling you hug him, thank him for being your knight, he was reminded all over why he loved such a sweet person so much, and he was determined to give you all the love he could to make up from being so cruel before.

Teruteru Hanamura: part 1

· Teru had a rather interesting relationship with the new delivery person. You weren’t mean, but your whole aura was rather intimidating with your cold demeanor and with how muscular you were. Yet of all people, you were warm and kind to him. You merrily chat about your day, or about anything. You’d get a laugh out of his flirting, even try and miserably fail at flirting back, something Teru found endlessly endearing. Whatever made Teru special he honestly didn’t care, just enjoying your company so much.

· After your hard work, well hard for most but for you it was just seemingly light stretches, Teru would cook a hearty meal for you to keep you going for the rest of the day! It was his favorite thing to do before opening the restaurant, just that single quiet moment of enjoying a meal with you.

· Teru could find something attractive about anyone, but with you… well you were certainly attractive, a stallion, a ten out of ten to him, but he found he so quickly grew feelings for you. True a person’s personality or voice could be sexy but there was something different about it with you. But whatever it was, didn’t matter to him, all he knew was that he just wanted to spend more time with you, and whatever you did together didn’t matter to him, as long as you were together.

· You sighed, taking another bite. “Is something the matter?” “I’m just going to miss this.” “What?” You didn’t even glance his way, simply continuing to enjoy your meal. “Yeah, I gotta move soon. I’ve actually stayed here much longer than I should, but… I just couldn’t resist sticking around longer ‘cause of you… again.” “Ah, well… that’s too bad. It’s been rather fun having you around.” “It’ll be alright. I know you’ll be fine without me. Actually, I’d like to ask you to make a promise to forget me.” “Forget you!? How in tarn- AH I- Ahem- How could I do that!?” You simply smiled and laughed, just as you did before. You placed a hand on his cheek, gently caressing him with your thumb. “You’re the only person I can call a friend. I know you can keep this promise, that’s just the kind of person you are. Sure, you’re a bit raunchy, but you truly are kind and care for others. You could never let me feel guilty about leaving you behind.” Teru was silent for a moment, just taking in what you said. “When will you be leaving?” “Uh… I should say tomorrow, but I’m thinking a week.” A week? Teru could work with that!

· “Please go on a date with me!” “… Huh?” In complete bafflement you just let Teruteru take your hands into his, a determined glint in his eyes. “If you’ll be leaving I want to make the most of the time we have left!” “…oh… uh… o-okay, we could do that.”

· And so, the week was filled with date after date, going all out with no inhibitions doing anything you could think of from watching a movie to sky diving. Wherever you went Teru always had a packed meal on hand for the pair of you to enjoy. It was honestly the best week of either of your lives. And all too quickly it had already passed you by.

· Standing on the bridge in the park you stood side by side watching the sun rise. “Well, that’s it, I better get going. I really enjoyed this, just as always. Thank you.” “Now hold on a moment, you can’t go just yet!” He held out a small plastic container to you. “You need a good meal for the road! Don’t know where you’re going, but wherever it is, it’d be a downright shame if I left you hungry along the way!” You simply stared at him for a moment before the softest, most earnest of smiles he had ever seen creased your lips. So tenderly you took the container. “… Some things never change I suppose… At least I know you can still keep that promise.” Then without so much as explaining your strange words, you disappeared as if you never even were there. It was sad for Teru, yet something in him knew he’d see you again, and that thought let him go back to his everyday life as if you never appeared, yet after that life just seemed more lively to him, just like those later years back in Hope’s Peak, though as to why that time seemed livelier he couldn’t quite remember.

Nekomaru Nidai:

· Being a rather intimidating looking guy with a heart of gold, Nekomaru took to understanding your situation quickly. Both of you being athletic and getting rather larger builds it just kinda naturally happened.

· Being the exceedingly kind individual you were others often took advantage of that. Even if you knew it was bad you couldn’t bring yourself to not help others in need for even the smallest of things. This was not something Nekomaru could stand, but finding you standing out in the rain for two days straight was the last straw and the man insisted on training you! You were a bit nervous at first not wanting to take up so much of your best friend’s time, but with some reassurances Nekomaru managed to warm you up, both literally and metaphorically to the training.

· At some point the training turned into days out, going hiking up mountains, or jogging on beaches, swimming in lakes and doing crossfit, sometimes going out for walks in the night, exploring the city looking for things to do, perhaps some karaoke, some slow dancing by moon light, and yeah you two just ended up dating without meaning too.

· The pair of you always came up with excuses like the slow dancing was training in balance, no you totally did not want to dance because it was a beautiful night and you could hear ballroom music not far in the distance, no that was totally not it, that’d be dumb… or so you kept telling yourself in these moments so you would not confess to the man fearing he really did only see these outings as training and nothing else.

· That was till you overheard Nekomaru chatting with his classmates, one of them asking how his ‘date’ with you went and he spoke of your beautiful hike up the mountains, not even batting an eye at their wording. Did… did he not notice, or just not care? Did this mean he liked you too? Or did you mishear? Quickly getting frustrated with this line of thinking you decided to just settle this!

· “There you are-” “I have something to tell you!” The man silently stood there, just waiting. Okay, this was it, and you took a deep breath. “I… I REALLY LIKE YOU!” “I REALLY LIKE YOU TOO! YOU ARE A CHERISHED FRIEND OF MINE!” “NO, I MEAN- I-I-I LOVE YOU, I THINK!? I DON’T KNOW!” “I LOVE YOU TOO, A LOT IN FACT!” “N-NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU!” “OH YEAH!?” “YES! SO MUCH!”

· Screaming your feelings for one another was a very common occurrence in the relationship. Even if one of you simply caught sight of the other off in the distance you’d yell ‘I love you’s, which more often than not scared or startled the people around you hearing such loud, booming voices out of nowhere.

· Life with Nekomaru could be a bit much at times, but it was well worth it for such an amazing guy.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:

· You were perfect for him.

· You didn’t have any reputation really, but wherever you went people knew not to mess with you. Your mere presents not much but if one got close, they could feel this unsettling air about you making them go away. You, being the Super High School Level Street Fighter knew how to defend yourself from most attackers so Fuyuhiko didn’t have to worry about your safety like he’d have to with most others like the majority of his old classmates like Hajime.

· You were also the most kind and sweet person he had met. Behind closed doors you’d always have you arms open for Fuyuhiko. You’d hold him close, just let him listen to your steady heartbeat and make him feel so safe and secure. His favorite thing was to just cuddle with you.

· He also liked you being by his side, it served a dual purpose. One: if somehow when meeting some rival gang his reputation didn’t precede him, you were enough to intimidate them at a glance, despite his own baby face. The second and much more important to him, just being with you. True you were well equipped to handle yourself, but you were still human can had come back home to him plenty of times with new scars not from your usual fights, so by your side he and Peko could protect you.

· He also liked how you were with his subordinates. You were strict, showing no signs of weakness, more than willing to put them in their place should it be needed, yet that didn’t stop you from being kind. You’d do research for days on end trying to find the perfect birthday gift them. You’d train their kids by hand in all ways of fighting, but not for attacking but self-defense, their parents were in a dangerous job so your ‘day job’ of being a children’s fighting instructor helped to place their minds at ease a little.

· If he could he’d go on for hours singing your praises. You were perfect for him in every single way without a single doubt.

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bookstantrash · 3 years

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A/N: Who’s in for more Nessian Pride and Prejudice? This is now going to be a multichapter fic so I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I do! This is also almost 4K (3.997 words to be more specific lmao), the most I’ve ever written, so you can tell how obsessed I’m with P&P.

You can check here Pemberley’s Lake , part one of this fic.

Once again, huge shoutout to the gc for always being so encouraging. I love y’all 🥺 and special thanks for @perseusannabeth for brainstorming this fic with me 💜

Hooked on you

“The baskets?”

“Yes, my Lord”

“And the refreshments?”

“Yes, they are cool and ready to be served”

“And the table was set in case the ladies prefer its comfort to sitting in the picnic towel?”

“The fluffiest and silkiest one has been chosen and is in place, along with the table, chairs and parasol”

“And what about—”

“My Lord,” Mrs.Potts firmly said, interrupting Cassian’s nervous rambling “Everything has been double checked and ready since my lord inquired about it during breakfast”

Cassian exhaled, running his hands through his hair. Nesta and her companions were to arrive at any minute now, and he had to make sure everything was perfect. She deserved nothing but perfection, and Cauldron blast him if he ended up offending her and her friends in any way.

“Forgive me Mrs.Potts,” he said with small smile “My nerves are getting the best of me”

“You have nothing to worry about my Lord, the staff and I will not disappoint” the elderly head maid assured him. All of Pemberley’ staff had noticed how much their master’s encounter with Lady Archeron had raised his spirits, and they had made their life purpose to make sure his smile never disappeared.

Cassian had to be one of the kindest masters Mrs.Potts had ever served, and most of the staff agreed with her. He always made sure to make all of them comfortable and inquire about how their family was faring, if they were in need of any assistance. He showed a care towards his personnel that went beyond the common care of a master towards his servants, but rarely appeared to be truly happy, wearing a mask that concealed a deep sadness and loneliness within himself.

They had taken upon themselves to organise the most elaborate picnic in the history of Pemberley, in hopes their lord’ smile wavered no more.

And that a certain lady decided to accept his heart.

“The guests have arrived, sir” Cogsworth, Pemberley’s major-domo and head of the household staff, announced “They are waiting in the parlor”

“Thank you, Cogsworth. I shall be with them in a minute”

The butler gave a small nod and left them, going back to tend to the guests.

“Mrs.Potts,” Cassian said, turning in his head maid’s direction “How do I look?”

“Quite dashing, sir, if I may say so” she replied with a motherly smile.

“You may. And the compliment is most welcome” he replied, a boyish grin on his face.

Cassian had taken the utmost care getting dressed that morning. His hair alone had taken him two hours to achieve its natural messy and ruffled appearance, he wore one of his best fitted clothes, and his shoes were so polished he could see his reflection on them.

He could not allow himself to ruin this second chance fate had given him. Even if Nesta had not accepted his heart, he would do anything and everything to be of assistance to her and make sure she had the most enjoyable time in Pemberley.

Cassian quickly walked to the parlor, possible dialogues with Nesta going over his head, from polite greetings to teasings and inquires about her sisters and trip.

But it all went flying from his head the moment he laid his eyes on her.

Nesta Archeron possessed a beauty that took Cassian’s breath each time he saw her, and her current attire did little to help him breath.

She wore a light blue one piece gown, but what had him mesmerised was its off shoulder design, allowing him a clear view of her clavicule and showing a little bit more of skin than the current fashion allowed. White flower shaped buttons added a nice touch to the design, and her elbow length gloves acted as the perfect element to balance the daring dress.

“My Lady,” Cassian greeted, boldly reaching for her hand to drop a chaste kiss on it, wishing those stupid gloves were not in the way “I hope you did not wait for too long?”

“Not at all, sir” Nesta answered, a slight blush in her cheeks “May I introduce you to Miss Gwyneth Berdara, Miss Emerie Carynthian and Sir Balthazar Oristian?”

Cassian looked at both ladies, greeting them as he had with Nesta.

“It is an honour to finally meet the most sought singer in all England” he said, raising the opera singer’s hand to kiss it too, her pale constitution allowing him to notice how much she blushed.

He had thought it better to greet all ladies in the same manner, for it would be impolite and could arise assumptions of his feelings towards Nesta.

Miss Gwyneth Berdara was a petite woman, but Cassian knew that once she sang one could not help but be drawn to her, who shined the most brightly on the stage. Her copper chestnut hair was free, pinned back from her face by a dark blue ribbon, allowing a perfect view of her teal coloured eyes and freckled face. He could not help but wish that Nesta had followed her friend’s example and let her hair down too, which was fashioned in a coronet braid.

Cassian had not been able to stop thinking of Nesta with her hair unbound, that look of surprise on her face in the back of his mind.

He was always thinking of that look on her face.

Miss Berdara held a dark green parasol — no doubt to protect her fair skin from the sunlight — and a matching dress in similar fashion to Nesta’s, although hers had long sleeves.

“And you must be the famous business woman who has been driving society mad with your beautiful designs” he eyed the lady in question and tried to hide his surprise as he greeted her.

Because Miss Emerie Carynthian was wearing high waisted black pants and a long sleeved white shirt with ruffled laces, her curly brown hair in a high updo.

She for sure was the one responsible for Gwyn’s and Nesta’s daring attire.

“How flattering, sir. At least one gentleman here knows how to talk to ladies” Emerie said, glancing at their only male companion with a smirk.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, sir” Balthazar ignored Emerie, quite used to his business partner’s teasing “I heard incredible stories about your feats in the War. Shame I was placed in a squadron so far away from your or else I could have seen you in action.”

“You participated in the Battle of Meinir Pass?” Cassian asked, surprised, shaking the other man’s hand in greeting.

“Aye sir, third squadron. After the War I invested some money in business, being fortunate to make a big deal. The unfortunate side being that said deal was with Miss Emerie here”

Cassian laughed. They were a curious group, with only Nesta actually having a place in high society, but still befriending those of different status. It was not something usual, and he felt even more wonder towards her.

“Shall we move on? There are refreshments and we were graced with wonderful weather.” escorting his guests outside, Cassian asked Balthazar about his time in the army, all the while keeping an eye on Nesta, that damn dress threatening to undo his sanity before lunch time.

~•~

Fishing was supposed to be a nice activity. Calming. Relaxing.

Harmless.

Except nothing was truly harmless if Nesta Archeron was involved, because Cassian could not care less about catching fish.

Emerie and Gwyn — she had insisted to be called Gwyn instead of Gwyneth, “We are friends now, you cannot call me Gwyneth, it is too serious” — had gotten bored of fishing after twenty minutes and were now eating strawberries in the blanket laid near the lake. Cassian was really glad they had liked the blanket and ditched the table.

It meant they were comfortable around him.

It meant that he was one more step away from ruining his plan to make today perfect.

Balthazar had promptly prepared his things and in no time had caught three fishes. Emerie had bet he could not catch ten until they left for their inn, so now he was making his goal to catch not ten but fifteen.

Cassian could only wonder how their partnership was if this is how they usually behaved around each other.

Nesta, on the other hand, had been busy reading a book, completely lost in her world.

Until Gwyn and Emerie thought it would be a good idea to splash water at her.

Cassian thought she was going to be angry to have her clothes wet — or to risk getting her book damaged — but he was taken by surprise when Nesta threw her head back and laughed, cheeks flushed and the sun shining in her hair.

It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, and he was so mesmerized by it that he almost hooked his finger instead of the fishing bait.

Cassian lost all interest in fishing once they started splashing water at themselves, watching them play with a small smile on his face, no doubt appearing to be a fool in love.

Balthazar, however, was not so happy.

“This must be a plan from Emerie to ruin my fishing” he muttered a little annoyed “I was about to catch a big one but they scared it away”

“They will get tired soon, my friend” Cassian tried to assure him “It is quite hot today to be moving around, even if they are splashing water at each other”

The sun was indeed high in the sky, and Cassian could not help but wonder how the ladies managed to appear so composed and fresh despite the many layers they wore. He and Balthazar had long ditched their coats to stay only in their shirts, Cassian going as far as rolling his sleeves.

He had failed to notice how Nesta had been eyeing him as he rolled his sleeves, her eyes tracing every new piece of tanned skin being exposed.

“It must be the sun” she thought to herself as she felt her mouth getting dry looking at Cassian’s bare forearms “Surely I am not attracted to him. I am just thirsty because of the weather.”

Nesta had been feeling strangely anxious since they had arrived at Pemberley, her heart threatening to burst out of her chest when Cassian kissed her hand. Oh, how she had momentarily wished she was as bold as Emerie and Gwyn to not bother with gloves — Nesta had been offered by Emerie to wear one of her newly designed pants, which she politely declined, stating that the off shoulder gown was as daring as she would allow herself to be — so she could finally know how Cassian’s lips would feel against her bare skin.

She was not proud to have thought such an improper thing, and even more ashamed of the ugly feeling in her heart when Cassian greeted her friends in the same manner.

How delusioned she had been to think he was showing her some preference.

That his feelings had stayed the same since her sister’s ball.

Cassian was a gentleman, and as such was only showing proper courtesy by greeting them all in the most dignified manner.

“Oh, it is so hot” Gwyn complained, their water game interrupted to get some refreshments “Even your light designed gowns cannot keep it away, Emerie”

“If only we could go for a dive” Emerie sighed, eyeing the lake.

“It would not be proper” Nesta mumbled, still distracted as she watched Cassian.

“Proper” Emerie snorted, taking off her shoes and rolling her pants until her ankles “I almost regret wearing those pants, if only they did not look so good on me”

“Emerie what are you doing, for the Mother!” Nesta exclaimed, watching as her friend dipped her feet in the cold water.

“I am refreshing myself dear, what does it look like?” she waved her hand in dismissal. “Balthazar could not care less about seeing some skin, he is too busy trying to win our bet. Whereas Cassian is too polite to stare. Besides, I dare say he would not care either, as he seems to be used to female attention.”

Nesta found herself with nothing to say in face of Emerie’s remarks, except her annoyance that Cassian would have ladies falling left and right at his feet.

That strangely bothered her.

“Pardon me then, I will agree with Emerie on this” Gwyn declared, dipping her own feet in the lake and sighing in delight “Join us Nesta, please. You must be feeling quite hot”

“Oh well, stop rushing me” Nesta replied, faking annoyance. She promptly dumped her feet in the water, even going as far as taking off her gloves and unbuttoning the first two buttons of her dress, letting the fresh air cool her warm skin “There, all relaxed and improper.”

“Bravo!” Emerie exclaimed, and the three of them laughed loudly.

Nesta had to agree that the cold water was indeed very refreshing, soon not even caring about Cassian or Balthazar’s presence. It was good to let off some steam and forget proper etiquette for a moment. She imagined her mother rolling in her grave in ultrage at her eldest daughter's attitude, which filled her with smug satisfaction.

A fish came up to swim around Nesta’s feet, and she giggled at the sensation.

“Do not move” Balthazar said, eyeing the fish “I have my sights on this little fella”

“Balthazar! Let it go! It’s not bothering me” she exclaimed, feeling protective over her new aquatic friend.

“But Nesta, I have caught twelve fish already. If you let me— “

“I do not allow you to dare and hurt it. You have more than enough time to attempt and win yours and Emerie’s bet” Nesta declared, leaving no room for argument.

Balthazar cursed quietly, but he knew better than to try to go against Nesta. Even if it was over a small thing as a fish.

Nesta asked Gywn about her mysterious sponsor, which had made it possible to fulfill her dream of singing in the most renowned opera houses in England. Gwyn informed she had yet to meet her generous patron, but that recently she had been receiving flowers every new performance.

“You think they are from your patron?” Nesta inquired “Or from any of your mass of admirers?”

Gwyn blushed at her friend’s teasing. Her dressing room was usually crowded with gifts after her performances, be it with expensive jewelry, chocolates, dresses and even love letters.

“I do not know. All I have as a clue are the lovely ribbons used to tie the flowers with” she indicated the one currently tying her hair.

They kept talking about who possibly could be her sponsor, lost in their gossip.

If they had paid attention, both ladies would have spotted Cassian — a small blush that could pass as a result from the hot weather adorning his face — gazing at Nesta.

More specifically, at her ankles.

His hands were tightly gripping the fishing rod, his eyes moving from her ankles to her bare arms to the two open buttons of her dress.

Cauldron, the places Nesta Archeron made his thoughts wander to.

He quickly looked back at the lake, shaking his head to try and think of other things, glad they were too busy to notice his blatantly staring.

Only that Emerie had seen him and the way he looked at one of her dearest friends. She tucked that information for later, both to tease Nesta about it and to think of more scandalous clothing to make her wear.

She knew a look of love when she saw one, and she was sure Cassian held it.

Nesta, on the other hand, would need a little push to realise her feelings.

And to Emerie’s joy, it appeared that until the end of the day she would have plenty of teasing material.

Both Cassian and Balthar took a break from fishing to have lunch with the ladies — although the latter kept eyeing his fishing rod while he ate, no doubt wanting to get back as soon as possible. Mrs.Potts and the rest of the help had really outdone themselves, there was enough food to feed at least twenty people.

“This has to be the best chocolate cake I’ve ever eaten” Nesta declared, already in her second slice “Please deliver my compliments to the cook”

“I am sure Chef Ramsay will be most pleased to hear that” Cassian said, knowing his chef would most probably scream something along the lines of ‘Of course she liked my food, I am the one who cooked it!’ but be secretly happy with the compliment.

“Elain will be sad to hear that” Gwyn teased “To think her cooking talents are viewed in such poor manners in your eyes….”

“Hush now. My sister’s cooking is exceptional, but even her would have to agree with me on this”

“You certainly enjoy it, I have never seen you so unlady like” Emerie said laughing, indicating the chocolate sauce that had gotten on her fingers.

Proving that she could be even more unlady like — by that time her mother would be almost resurrecting to hit Nesta with a whip for her horrid attitude — and shock her friends even more, Nesta licked her fingers instead of using a napkin, promptly cleaning her hand. That action brought fake gasps from her friends, who feigned horror at her action. Even Balthazar got in the play, saying no man would now dare to court her after such behaviour.

Little did he know that Cassian was thinking of proposing to Nesta again. He had tracked each lick, each portion of the chocolate sauce being eaten, his heart beating faster and faster, feeling his body warming and his mind wandering to unspeakable places not for the first time in the day.

“Get a grip Cassian” he thought to himself, drinking some lemonade in hopes of calming down.

Nesta chose the exact moment to glance at him, wanting to see his reaction at her attitude.

Not that she was anxious he would find her repulsive or unworthy of having been invited to this outing.

Rather, what she saw was Cassian drinking lemonade, the sun making his dark hair shine like obsidian, her mouth suddenly dry as she watched him swallow.

“What sorcery is this? Why do I feel that way even with the smallest things he does?” Nesta asked herself. feeling her cheeks getting warmer and looking down at her empty plate.

She made her best to try and avoid looking at him again, jumping at the opportunity to make flower crowns with Gwyn while Emerie sketched some news designs in a small notebook she carried everywhere.

Soon she was lost in the calming motion of twisting and knotting the flowers together, all thoughts of Cassian momentary forgotten.

It was Emerie’s voice saying her name that brought her back to reality.

“I think Nesta may have something”

“What?” she asked, looking up to find both Cassian and her friend looking at her.

“I was wondering if any of you would have anything I could tie my hair with” he brushed his hair back, a few curly locks falling in front of his eyes “I forgot to bring my usual leather strap with me”

“I have a ribbon” Nesta said, fumbling in her purse for the spare she always carried.

Handing him the red ribbon, her heart skipped a beat when their hands touched. She could swear his touch lingered for longer than necessary.

She watched as he gathered his hair in a bun, failing again and again at tying it with the red piece of silk.

“Is the General Commander losing against a mere hair accessory?” Nesta could not help but tease.

“This is quite different from what I am used to” he sighed in defeat “I’m withdrawing from this fight. It seems I will have to bear with the sun for a little longer”

“I could tie it for you” she blurted out before she could hold her tongue back.

Cassian only blinked at her.

“I mean, if Your Grace allows and is not bothered by me touching your hair or—”

“I would be most honoured” he cut her nervous rambling, moving to sit in front of her.

"Pardon me then” Nesta breathless said, taking his hair on her hands.

His hair was much softer than she had imagined and she dared to wonder if had she accepted his proposal, Cassian would have let her brush his hair.

If her making those small braids to make it easier to tie his rebel locks would have been a frequent occurrence.

“Oh, how lovely Nesta!” Gwyn exclaimed and placed one flower crown on Cassian’s head “There! Now he’s perfect!”

“The General Commander of the British Armies wearing a flower crown and with braids on his hair! Ha! No one would believe me if I told them!” Balthazar exclaimed, having grown tired of fishing after his eighteenth catch.

Cassian’s land really was blessed with an abundance of fish.

“What are you laughing for? I also made one for you!” Gwyn said, dumping one crown with pink flowers in Balthazar’s head, making Emerie roar with laughter.

If Cassian appeared to be bothered, he did not let it show, and Nesta could not help but think he looked adorable, nothing like the famous Lord of Bloodshed, who had killed many enemies of the Crown in battle.

“Your friends are rather charming, my Lady” Cassian pointed out, watching Emerie and Balthazar bickering while Gwyn laughed at them.

“I hope we are not causing Your Grace much trouble”

“Not at all” he assured her “This is the most fun I have had in a long time”

Nesta hoped he was saying the truth and not being excessively polite.

The afternoon went on, the group deciding to call it a day and gathering their things. Nesta stayed a little behind the group, too busy trying to button her dress again to keep up with them.

“Those beautiful unpractical buttons” she muttered angrily, failing to put the flower shaped buttons in their place.

“Lady Nesta, is something the matter?”

Nesta almost let out a scream when she saw that Cassian had not left.

“I was just— “ her words died in her throat when Cassian got closer, his hands hovering over her dress.

“May I?” he inquired softly.

Nesta could only nod and pray to the Mother he could not feel her heart beating faster than racing horses. Up close and with his hair tied back neatly — the small braids suited him more than she would have liked to admit — she could pinpoint every scar he had, from the one on his left eyebrow to the small cut near his mouth.

Her fingers itched to trace them.

To kiss them.

To kiss him.

“There. All proper now” Cassian said, his voice a little hoarse.

“Thank you, sir” Nesta managed to say despite wanting to scream and melt inside.

They walked silently back to the main state, a comfortable silence between them.

Cassian desperately wanted to hold her hand, using once again the excuse of helping her get on the carriage to do just that.

“Shall you pay Pemberley a visit tomorrow?” he hopefully asked “I could show you the rest of the state”

“I shall be waiting for your call, sir” Nesta replied.

“And please accept this,” she added in a rushed tone, dropping a small object on his hand “ it is not much but I would like to show my gratitude for today.”

“I am most thankful” Cassian said, the carriage leaving before he could say anything else.

Looking at his hand, he realised he held a delicate daisy chain, no wonder made by Nesta while she and Gywn were making the flower crowns.

“I will treasure this forever” he said looking at the carriage turning smaller and smaller as it got away from Pemberley.

Tags: @sayosdreams @thewayshedreamed @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @arinbelle @caotica-e-quieta @vidalinav @swankii-art-teacher @ireallyshouldsleeprn @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @thegoddessaltenia @dayanna-hatter @verypaleninja @awesomelena555 @courtofjurdan @valkyriewarriors @moe8 @illyrianwitchling13 @silvernesta @bri-loves-sunflowers @queenestarcheron @imwritingthesewords @vasudharaghavan @rainbowcheetah512 @darkshadowqueensrule @letstakethedawn @starlightorstarfire @city-of-fae @thalia-2-rose @nestaarcher0n @rowaelinismyotp @julemmaes @dontgetsalmonella @alinaleksanders @lysandra-tiara9 @inardour @hikari274 @fatimafares123 @angelina-figjam @castielspelvis @illyrianundercover @firebirdofscythia

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#nessian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #cassian #pride and prejudice AU #sarah j maas #sjmaas #sjm books #sjm fanfic

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writeswheneverpossible · 3 years

Text

Perception, perception.

Perfect. Jeno was perfect. Despite all his imperfections, he was perfect. You didn't know anyone else who felt so right for you as he was. You had met many boys before, but none like him. But, would he even feel the same? You kept asking yourself that question ever since the day you knew you had fallen for him. That was a few months ago. Things changed when a new girl moved into your class. You still remembered that day clearly. To say she was pretty was an understatement. She was beautiful. If you could describe another person as perfect, you'd say it was her.

Your eyes had trailed on the pale girl then as she walked past you to the empty table next to the one by the window at the back of the class. You still remembered the way your breath got caught in your throat. As she sat down gracefully on her seat, Jeno’s face came to view and you could have sworn that he looked like an angel had appeared before him. That was the day you realised how silly it was for you to like him. After all, the two of them looked good together sitting side by side, like jewels crafted by the same hands.

The days went by with you trying your best to act normal around Jeno, no matter how badly you were hurting inside. The new girl had made friends with him and you saw them together around school most of the time, which had been your intention all along, wasn't it?

When your batch was done with the exams, a long holiday awaited all of you. But you spent most of the days alone with a heavy heart. After all, your current life was going to change once the results were out.

One day before the official release, the sadness in you got so overwhelming that you decided to take a walk around your neighbourhood. There was a small playground nearby which you used to play at when you were younger. At one point, it had become your comfort place. Anytime you needed a good place to cry, you would head there first, with a cap and the hood of your favourite oversized jacket to shield your face when necessary.

When you got out of your house, the sun was setting. The dark orange hues made you feel nostalgic. You took in a shaky breath before shaking your head and smiling sadly. You decided to savour how cosy your jacket felt that day and how it was similar to a comforting hug as you began to walk, trying your best to soak in the picture-perfect scenery around you. You took out your phone and clicked the camera icon. How ironic, you thought.

The walk to the playground was a seemingly short one, but one thing was different that day. Lee Jeno was standing in front of you. You looked down immediately. The two of you were a few metres away, but that only made you feel even worse. You felt like disappearing. You couldn't stand having him look at you. Especially not then. Not at that moment. Not when you were certain you saw him entering his house before you even went out. How? Before you could think of a possible explanation, he spoke up. You realised that you hadn't heard his voice in a long time and your heart wrenched inside you. It hurt.

“When are you going to tell me?” his voice was soft, but stern. You knew what he meant immediately. He began to walk towards you, but your eyes remained glued to his shadow, which was growing bigger by the second. “Y/N,” he called. No answer. “Y/N!” he shouted, grabbing you by the shoulders. Something inside you broke before you raised your eyes to look into his. They were glistening, and you couldn't tell if it was because of their usual spark or his tears.

“There is nothing for me to say, Jeno,” you said, smiling sadly. His grip on you tightened. “What’s wrong with you, Y/N?! Why are you like this?”

You could feel your bottled up frustration burst at his words. “What's wrong with me? Do you really want to know?” You asked him, getting teary yourself. “Yes!” he exclaimed, letting go of your shoulders, watching as you looked down, not missing the few tears that trailed down your cheeks, making his heart ache.

Jeno realised that you had been distant sometime in March. It was odd of you, considering how close you two were. Things only worsened when Irene, the new girl, moved into your class. Sure, Irene was interesting, and she was a great person, but that did not stop Jeno from noticing the way you would refrain from coming in between them, as if you were some outsider the two of them probably did not want to have around. You weren't. He initially shrugged it off when you repeatedly rejected his offer to study as a group with Irene together after school, choosing to believe that it was because you preferred to study alone since he knew how important the final year was to you. It was a determining point after all, as everyone would walk on their own paths afterwards. But that did not mean you should also stop walking to school together. The two of you lived next to each other after all. That was when he knew something was wrong, but you were so unreachable that he could never get the chance to confront you. You had stopped hanging out at his house during the weekends as well. It seemed the more Jeno tried to see you, the more you drifted away. You barely looked at him at school and talked to Jaemin instead whenever possible. Yet, you weren't your usual self even when he wasn't around. He didn't know seeing you act this way would affect him this much. But nothing compared to the pain of finding out you were going to move. To somewhere far, far, far away. And he didn't know, until the night before, when your mom went to have a drink at his place with his mom since they were best friends. That was how the two of you were able to grow up alongside each other. You were his childhood friend, his basketball buddy, his partner for all the imaginary adventures you guys went on as kids. So yes, it hurt to find out through catching the word ‘move’ in his mom’s sentence when he went down to get a drink in the kitchen. It hurt to realise that you were planning to leave without telling him. It really hurt. Yet he had no clue as to why you were acting this way.

You took in a deep breath before looking him straight in the eyes and said, “It’s because I hate you, Lee Jeno.” You looked away when you realised he didn't show any reaction. “I hate you for making me fall for you.

The way his eyes looked like they held the stars of the night sky on New Year's Eve as you two laid down in your backyard after you told him your resolution for the year flashed before your eyes. His eyes...they were understanding and comforting even after you insisted that your wish was silly. Falling for him was never your intention, but you went back to your room that night with butterflies in your stomach.

I hate you for making me feel pathetic for it.

The scene of you staring at Jeno as he slept replayed in your mind as it made you realise that he was beautiful all the time, even if his mouth was open and his face was squished. You, on the other hand, could never compare.

I hate that seeing you with Irene would only make me pity myself more.

Thinking about Irene and Jeno standing next to each other, talking and smiling only made you feel small every time.

I hate you for affecting me this much...for hurting me,” you cried, the sentence trailing off.

Tears streamed down your face. You wiped them away with the sleeves of your jacket. You took in a breath and calmed yourself. “But most of all, I hate myself for liking you,” you continued, looking at him then. “I mean, look at me. I'm nothing compared to someone like Irene. When I first saw the two of you sitting next to each other in class, something inside me broke and I realised it was pointless to even have feelings for you. You're my best friend after all, but you're also the most amazing person I've ever met and known. Who am I to even like you? Nothing is what I am.”

You turned to walk away without even giving Jeno a chance to speak. Yet he didn't stop you. Not even once. When you reached home, you realised that this was all probably for the best. You were going to leave tomorrow anyway. Even if Jeno did stop you, you knew even him couldn't prevent you from flying to the United Kingdom, your soon to be new home. As you were about to enter through the gates, a figure ran past you, coming from Jeno’s house, and you knew straight away who it was. Jaemin. Instinctively, you knew something was going on, but you were too tired to even come up with anything.

Jeno’s entire system broke down the instant you said you liked him. He was too shocked to even react. Irene and Jaemin had been right all along. The two had been trying to convince him you felt the same whenever they could sense he was worried about you or wondering why you had been behaving differently lately. It was wrong of him to doubt them. Deep down, however, he was certain you wouldn't like him. You were way beyond his league after all. You were the strongest yet kindest person he had ever known. He swore he had never seen anyone who smiled through their pains as much as you did. Even during the period of your strange antics, Jeno had never seen you lose your beautiful smile, which looked sincere all the time. The beauty of your entire being was and had always been clear to him for as long as he could remember. If you had only fallen for him recently, Jeno had liked you for years, masking his feelings by joking around whenever he accidentally blurted out things he admired about you. To Jeno, you were someone he could depend on. Someone he knew would believe his words even if the whole world insisted he was lying. Someone caring, patient and understanding. It was as if your heart had never been tainted by this harsh world, even though that wasn't the truth. Any guy would be lucky to have you because he already knew a few who actually thought the same. That was how he truly felt.

Shaking, he took out his phone and tried his best to type a short text before feeling his knees give out and beads of cold sweat form on his forehead. His breathing turned heavy and his vision was slowly darkening. He hoped to see you again when he opened his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next day feeling lifeless and numb. You looked into the mirror of your vanity and noticed that your eyes weren't as puffy as you anticipated. You only cried during your talk with Jeno anyway, so it was expected. You brushed your brown hair, looking at yourself with utter distaste. If only you’d realise how beautiful you actually were. From your eyes to your lips, from your ears to your cheeks. You may look nothing like Irene, but to Jeno, you were something else entirely.

When you walked down the stairs with all your things in your luggage, you were surprised to see Jeno’s mom standing beside yours at the end of the stairs. You smiled weakly. You looked behind them in case Jeno would be around. He wasn't.

“Y/N!” Jeno’s mom cried, sounding worried. She rushed forward to clasp your hands once you reached the bottom. “Do you mind looking after Jeno for me? He came home looking so pale last night that he woke up with a fever this morning. I swear that boy can never take good care of his health...” she muttered the last part to herself, before flashing you her signature puppy eyes. “Please?” You were taken aback, uncertain that Jeno would even want to see you and whether you would want to see him too, after what happened. You looked at your mom for help, but she only nodded at you. You slowly nodded at Jeno’s mom as a result.

The walk to Jeno’s room was a difficult one. Your whole body felt heavy with reluctance. You prayed with all your might that he'd still be asleep as you hesitated outside his door for a moment. You twisted the doorknob, revealing a dark room with a figure laying on the bed. The curtains were still close and he was indeed still asleep. You closed the door. You grabbed the wet towel on his forehead and wet it in the warm bucket of water on his nightstand, before carefully placing them on his forehead again. He squirmed when you did, before fluttering his eyes open. Your heart stopped, before it began beating like crazy when he held your wrist. He felt extremely warm and his grip was soft. “Y/N?” he mustered. You hummed, not moving a muscle. You see him smile a little before a tear streamed down the side of his face. And another. He held his other hand to his face as he began to silently cry. You stiffened at the sight. It had been a long while since he cried in front of you since he mostly kept his feelings to himself, so you were uncertain of what to do.

“Please don't leave me, Y/N. You don't know how important you are to me.

When he first found out from your mom that you were hospitalized due to a bad fever, he had stayed by your side the entire time, missing out on school and getting his video games confiscated by his mother. Yet, he'd do it again in a heartbeat.

How beautiful.

Jeno found you the most beautiful when you talked from your heart because that was how he got to know the real you. Ranging from politics to the latest movie you two watched together, anything that came out of your mouth was beautiful. Not just that, but the way your eyes reflected your emotions as you spoke was equally breathtaking. You could be frowning, huffing, sighing, or even running a hand through your hair out of frustration and he wouldn't look away for even a second. In fact, they were all some of his most favourite looks on you. But, your smile? The one that never failed to make his heart race, but also calm him down at the same time? He would do anything to see it. Your laughter? He'd set it as his ringtone if possible. The giggles that escaped your mouth whenever he did something weird? He wished he could keep them in a jar forever.

How precious.

The first time you told him the story about your father, you had broken down crying. You rarely cried, just like him. You preferred keeping your negative emotions to yourself, which gave you the tendency to explode at unprecedented times, Jeno noticed. Nonetheless, the sight of you that day made him cry as well as the need to protect you from all the bad things in this world suddenly became overwhelming. He was unsure if he could do it, but one thing was certain: he wanted to be there for you, always.

Please,” he sobbed, eyes still closed.

You clenched your fists. You wanted to stay, you really did. But your plane ticket had already been bought and you had completed all the procedures necessary for you to study at your chosen university. You couldn't possibly go against your mom's words when this move was her job’s latest requirement.

Jeno let go of your wrist when you remained silent, and that was your cue to leave the room. You were more than surprised when you were met with your mom’s serious expression outside, her stern eyes boring into yours.

“Y/N, tell me the truth. Do you love this boy?” You gulped. You weren't sure if you loved Jeno yet, but having to leave him would surely wreck you in ways you never thought was possible. That much you were certain of. She crossed her arms when you didn't answer. “It appears you do.” She sighed. “If having you move with me would affect the two of you this much, I would have never accepted the request straightaway.” You shook your head. “It’s fine, mom. We'll both grow past it,” you lied. She sighed, placing her hands on your shoulders, and looking into your eyes. “It's not, though? Y/N, listen to me. When someone you love loves you back, you should realise that this kind of thing doesn't happen every day. Heck, people would do anything to have what you two have. Yes, your future is important, but if you can't even chase for who your heart wants at the moment, have you even the heart to chase for your dreams?” You were silent. You didn't know what to think. “Boy, are you stubborn,” your mom chided, straightening herself. She waved a hand as she turned to walk down the stairs. “By the way, I've asked someone else to replace me so the two of us won't be flying to the United Kingdom anytime soon. And I've also enrolled you to Seoul National University, which has been your dream university since you were 15 by the way,” your mom called back. Your eyes widened. How did she know, you thought. But she was your mother after all and that alone was reassuring enough. You couldn't believe what you just heard. All at once, you felt better. You twisted the doorknob behind you once more and promised to stay by Jeno’s side for as long as possible.

#nct 2021 #nct #nct x reader #nct jeno #lee jeno #jeno angst #jeno fluff #jeno x reader #nct dream

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binunus · 3 years

Text

college bf!jinjin

a/n yes yes yes 100x yes, here's the next installment of the college bf!astro series hehe, hope you enjoy it love 😙

{request: Would it be possible to get a college boyfriend Jinjin too?? I super loved the Bin one you did!!!! Thank you in advance 💜}

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 3k

_________________________________________

alright theydies

jinwoo–like everyone else in astro–makes me hella hard and soft at the same time so this is gonna be fun

major: music engineer technology

i saw that one ddoca where he was directing all the members for his song and just !!! grr bark bark

literally a fucking sweetie

one of the kindest people you will ever meet in your life

his face is so gentle, especially when he smiles

and then you hear his voice and you're like woah why is it so deep and raspy hey

and then he laughs or giggles and you're like ahh that looks more like you hehe

roommates with university famous dancer!rocky bc i love rap line

such a good roommate and hyung omg

will always make sure rocky eats dinner or takes a shower before going to bed even though he’s exhausted from dance practice or whatever

always shows off how talented rocky (and the rest of the boys) is

very chill

which is a bit of a surprise to everyone bc one of his best friends is literally myungjun

anyway, how do you two meet??

you're a vocal performance major

coincidentally, the same major as myungjun

oh god so you can bet he really played matchmaker for you two

you and myungjun were doing a duet together for one of your final projects during your second year

and you two were joking around like

damn, we should record this, we sound pretty fire

*cue myungjun immediately calling jinjin*

mj: ARE YOU AT THE STUDIO?? ARE YOU FREE RIGHT NOW??

jin: hyung why are you yelling it's literally 6 pm

anyway, it was spontaneous but you and myungjun end up going to one of the recording studios in the music building where jinwoo very often frequents at

you're like a bit shy, like wtf myungjun you didn't tell me that your friend was cute?? you would have worn something better than sweats and a tank

jin's so nice ugh, just imagine him smiling at you as he introduces himself

literally you melted

his fit? bucket hat, glasses, shorts and a tee

it was so casual, but why did he look so cute??

myungjun convinces jinwoo to let you guys record in the studio

it took him just 10 minutes to set up the equipment and everything

you were just looking at him like ooo looks so professional

sksksk im gross

myungjun goes first bc you were nervous

and yeah duh he was a natural, but you couldn't help but admire jinwoo in his prime

he looked so attractive in the producer chair just like instructing mj in the booth

he didn't even know what kind of song you guys were singing, but he directed him so smoothly so that the best parts of myungjun's voice came out

mj joking around: why's your mouth open, y/n? amazed at my voice?

you roll your eyes: sure if that's what you want to believe

your thoughts: ah haha i was totally not oogling your best friend myungjun, totally not

and then it was your turn to go in the booth

you don't know why, but you were hella nervous singing in front of them–or more so, in front of jinwoo

which is dumb bc you're literally a vocal performance major, you sing in front of strangers all the damn time

but you really wanted to impress him for some reason??

okay, you had no reason to be nervous because as soon as you opened your mouth?? jinnie?? literally awestruck

he's heard a lot of singers, obviously bc he's had to record so many of them

but you?? your voice?? a literal siren for him–but in a good way!

your singing entranced him

and then you looked out of the booth to see him just staring at you and your throat went dry

your voice cracked, you've never felt more embarrassed in your life

you: ah! oh my God I'm so sorry, that was horrendous

myungjun's laughing at you, what a nice duet partner

but jin just smiles bc you're whining and hiding your face in your hands

you were so cute??

jinwoo: it's okay y/n, you were doing really good. let's try that again, okay?

he was so sweet about it, ugh you were blushing

you end up recording again, and this time you made the smart decision to close your eyes and just try and focus on the lyrics

and shit, if jinjin wasn’t already a bit interested in you before, he definitely was now

because the way you looked completely immersed in the song and lyrics

his heart skipped like ten miles i dont know

myungjun just knew from the way jinwoo was staring at you

you didn’t get his number from the first meeting

bitch you were too shy, you just squeaked out a “thank you, hope myungjun and I weren’t too much of a bother”

jin: hyung’s always a bother, but you were totally fine

mj: hey!

anyway you leave with a bit of regret, like you should have at least gotten his snapchat or social media or something

or make a dumb excuse to try and see him again

ah but mj was already ten steps ahead of you and jinjin ;)

when you get back to your apartment, there’s a text from myungjun like

“come back to jinwoo’s studio tomorrow for the final mix of our duet”

you immediately jump at the opportunity: okay! what time?

damn could you be any more obvious??

this time you actually tried to look cute, like you were going to see jinwoo again, you couldn’t look like a rat

you get to the studio at the time myungjun told you and you’re like?? oh it’s just jinwoo here?? maybe myungjun’s running a bit late??

jinwoo: oh hey y/n! wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon

you: ???? myungjun told me to come here to listen to the final mix...

jinwoo being shy: he didn’t tell me about that haha

you’re embarrassed, about to turn on your heel and book it

maybe also thinking of murdering myungjun on the way back to your place

but then jinwoo grabs your wrist before you could leave

and you literally felt a spark at his touch, it made you jump a little bit

jin: you can stay if you want–I mean, you came all this way already, I’d be a bit of jerk if I just make you leave

you: I-uh-don’t wanna intrude

he just shakes his head with a smile: you’re not, don’t worry. besides, I’m actually working on your song right now, you can tell me what you think

and that’s how you end up hanging out with jinwoo alone in the studio

you were obviously very awkward and nervous at first

what do you say to him? should you ask him questions? what if you’re bothering him? god you don’t want to sound like an idiot

jinwoo noticed your nervousness––and yes he was nervous too, but he just hid it better than you

he hands you a pair of headphones: here, listen to what I have done so far

you’re like pleasantly surprised??? you and myungjun sound so professional?? like damn put this out on spotify or something

you’re smiling and jinwoo just feels like a huge sense of relief like phew okay you like it so far

and then you two just get to talking while he’s still mixing

you ask him how he got into music and his major and all that fun stuff

you find out that jin’s always loved music and the actual producing aspect of it, he hopes to be a music producer one day and he just flirts with you like

“hey maybe one day you can sing my songs on stage”

and you’re like ??? me???

jin: you have one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, it would be an honor for me

ugh jinwoo stop im blushing

you two end up ordering food and eating at the studio bc he promised himself that he wouldn’t leave until he finished your duet and you didn’t wanna leave him alone tf

you and jinwoo exchange numbers this time hehe

before you leave, he’s like “this was nice y/n, you should come over and keep me company more often :) if...you want of course”

you: i’d be happy to! just text me any time :)

internally you’re screaming like yes !!

you can bet that you start spending a lot of your free time with jinwoo in the music studio

sometimes it’s just you two

sometimes myungjun and their other friends make appearances too

and that’s how you get introduced to their friend group

myungjun to either of you: you’re spending a lot of time with jin/yn lately ;)

about a month after meeting each other, jinwoo asks you out on a date

with the encouragement of astro

it was all expected let’s be honest

cliche first date at the movies, but like you both loved it

wouldn’t be surprised if astro was spying on you two, sitting like a couple rows behind and watching your every move

but shhh if they did, you and jinwoo didn’t notice

the transition from liking each other → going on dates → making it exclusive went so smoothly

you and jin were hooked on each other after the first couple meetings that it just seemed so right

myungjun will never stop saying that he’s the reason why you two are in a relationship

you and the other boys grow very fond with each other–particularly sanha

and that was important for jinwoo bc the guys are like his family and it’s basically a dream for him that his partner and friends are close too

sanha is his child do not @ me

so by osmosis, sanha becomes like your baby too

the two of you literally coddle sanha, it’s cute okay

they all go to you and jin for relationship advice sksksk

bc to them, you two just seem so made for each other :’)

the !! sweetest !! most perfect !! boyfriend

will walk you to class in the morning even if his class is all the way across campus

and you’re like: jinwoo it’s okay, i can see you after this class, you might get late!

jin being pouty: i just wanna spend more time with you :(

im in love with jinjin

loves holding your hand, even when you two are in the studio and he’s mixing something for class or just for fun, he’s still holding your hand

whenever he makes a composition, you’re the first person he shows

really values what you think of his work

vice versa, when you have a song you need to sing, you always ask him to listen to you first

you don’t sugarcoat with each other when it comes to music

will ask you to sing literally all the time

jinwoo gives the best hugs :’)

it’s just so comforting, one of his hands strokes your hair, while the other one rubs your lower back

you know what kind of picture im creating?? yeah

ooooof baby you go with him when he gets his tattoos

you hold his hand through it the entire time even though he probably didn’t feel much pain from it

and like his big ass chest tattoo??? are you drooling??? 1000%

when jinwoo realizes that you get ??? turned on?? by his tattoos, you bet he begins to walk around shirtless in your apartment

is this my transition to down and dirty? yes it is

your first time with him was mmm rough and it’s all thanks to that chest tattoo

you and jinwoo have been steamy before, like makeout sessions and dry humping, and oral (both receiving), but the actual action of fucking? y’all haven’t done it before that night

ofc he’s being a little tease and walking around shirtless

he was always touching you though, not explicitly, but like say you were washing the dishes, he would walk past you and brush his hand passed your waist and he’d whisper in your ear like: sorry baby excuse me

and like he’s done this the whole day so just at one point you lose it and literally push him against the wall and start making out with him

ah he knew you were gonna crack

and god you were so turned on at this point that you were not having any of that soft shit, like you needed him to fuck you asap

jinwoo fucks you so hard your first time together that you couldn’t walk the next day

hehe

oh boy he likes to bite

yes he’s the sweetest, but in the bedroom?? lowkey a bit of a masochist

it’s okay bc you don’t mind a little bit of pain ;)

daddy!! kink!! i dont make the rules

will call you baby girl/boy

he’s the dom, like will very rarely let you dom him

very private with your sex life, you won’t catch him teasing you in public with other people around

and if you try, like say if you whisper daddy in his ear or something while you are hanging out with the guys, oof it’s gonna be a rough night for you

alright but studio sex

has he recorded your moans before?? or you two having sex in the booth?? yes

debatably, studio sex happens more than bedroom sex, but that’s only because most of jinwoo’s time is literally in the music building

jinwoo dirty talk !! with his sexy ass raspy voice !!

ugh jin moaning in your ear what a good girl/good boy you are for him while he’s just fucking you

will slightly degrade you?? like yes you are his cocksleeve

but he also praises you a lot during sex too

ooh you better hope you don’t have a gag reflex bc he’s all into throat fucking

favorite position is actually missionary, believe it or not

he loves seeing you come undone for him

eye contact during sex?? yes

like he will make sure you’re looking at him when you cum, periodt

favorite place to cum is your face oops

also very much into cockwarming

most of the time, your sessions are rough just bc your vibes are like that

but when they’re soft and slow?? and like making love??

literally the most passionate man ever

jin makes it all about you and your pleasure when he’s being gentle

after care is full of kisses and cuddles and I love yous

always makes sure you drink water after having sex

stay hydrated kids

and jinwoo’s back to being the bestest boyfriend :’)

first i love you was when you two were in bed together

you both just woke up and were cuddling

jin was watching the video you sent him of you practicing this one song for an upcoming performance

and you were still drowsy, so you were literally drifting in and out of sleep while he was listening to your video

and jinwoo was just awestruck, he’s always been in love with your voice from the get go, but the way you executed this song? even though it was just practice? his chest was constricting

you’re like mumbling when the video stops: i still need to work more on the bridge, my tone gets a bit flat during it, right?

and he just smiles softly at you even though your eyes are closed and you can’t see him

he thought it was perfect already, you were perfect already

and he just calls your name: y/n

you: hmm??

jin: I love you

and suddenly you’re awake and meeting his eyes

they were so genuine and serious and full of love, you don’t even hesitate to say it back

honestly not the jealous type, he’s so patient and trusting and knows that you’re crazy about only him

will constantly reassure you about any of your insecurities: body, voice, school, your relationship, anything

jinwoo just has such a calming aura around him that you can’t help but feel like, as long as he’s by your side everything will be okay

the two of you have many deep talks together, especially at night before going to sleep, it’s what makes your relationship so solid

jinwoo just knew that he wanted to marry you, even early on into your relationship

there was no one that supported him more in his dreams, no one that he’s ever truly felt connected with, no one that he’s shared all his deepest fears with than you

and like after a year of dating like he couldn’t picture a future without you in it

he’s a romantic :’)

shortly before graduating, he makes a song about you and he’s actually singing in it

ugh main vocal jinjin rise

and he shows it to you in the music studio where you first met

and it’s about how much he loves you and admires you and treasures you

basically a proposal but not really

and you’re so touched, like literally moved to tears because it was so beautiful

and lowkey he was cringing at hearing his singing voice but you still loved it nonetheless

and afterwards, jinwoo was like: I wanna spend the rest of my life with you y/n, I’m not asking you to marry me right now, obviously I’ll propose to you in a better way in the future, but I’m serious about you and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

you jump into his lap and kiss him and just keep saying I love you in between kisses

and jinwoo’s all smiley and giggly like: do you feel the same??

and you hit his arm all jokingly, yes of course you do

you just sit on his lap and he’s hugging you while the two of you are listening to more of his projects and jinwoo’s just thinking like wow I love this person so much

maybe the two of you do owe it to myungjun for playing matchmaker

i guess mj can be the best man at your wedding

y’all this was so soft??

but yes jinnie’s the best bf/husband material out there

im in love with him

_________________________________________________

2-8-21

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salazarslytherin · 3 years

Text

player, heartbreaker (wolfstar)

requested: nope! written for @acosmis-t ’s writing challenge! send in your own request here

summary: in which sirius breaks remus’ heart- not for the first time, but definitely the last.

prompts: 6. “i love you.”, “no you don’t” 8. “how was i such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” 13. “maybe they were right. you never did change.”

cw/tw: angst, cheating, just tears, and a whole lot of em

word count: 2.4k

🃛 masterlist!

a/n: if you enjoyed this oneshot please consider reblogging and/or dropping me a follow! it’ll help me out a lot :)

I love you.

Those three words meant so much to Remus. Shunned by so many throughout his life, coming to Hogwarts and feeling the warm embrace of friendship and the overwhelming amounts of love that came with it made him lightheaded, feeling as if he were floating on air.

Those three words had made Remus excuse so much. Times he’d gotten in trouble with McGonagall because of a stupid prank Sirius had pulled and blamed on him.

“She’ll pull me out of quidditch for this! You’re the perfect student, she’ll let you off the hook! I love you Moony!”

Remus wasn’t let off the hook, but he never held it against Sirius.

Dangerous and idiotic pranks were forgiven- like the Full Moon Incident with Snape in fifth year. The Black heir had grovelled and apologised, spending many nights on his knees, begging for Remus’ forgiveness.

“Moony I’m so sorry, I was just, infuriated by the sheer audacity of Snivellus. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I love you, and I would do anything to prove to you that I can make it up to you.”

It took another full moon for Remus to forgive him, but he never forgot the heartbreak and betrayal that the incident had brought him.

Yet, he didn’t hold it against him. Because it was Sirius Black.

The first boy to show him friendship, the first boy to show him affection, the first boy to show him love.

⚔︎.

Not long after the Incident, the love between the two had blossomed- growing from a platonic, brotherly love to one that was more complicated.

One was the Prince of Gryffindor; the biggest player and heartbreaker that Hogwarts had seen in decades. Flirting and fucking girls and boys alike, Sirius Black left behind him a trail of tears and heartbreak. Yet he was never resented for it, because that’s just who he was.

Sirius Black, the serial heartbreaker.

The other was quiet. The most unassuming member of the Marauders- studious and always willing to help others regardless of house and year. A Werewolf littered with scars, but the gentlest person you could ever meet. Remus Lupin was the kindest soul you could find, but vicious when you needed him to be. Although quiet, he was charming and outgoing, the kind of person you could have a beer with, but also come to for your troubles.

Remus Lupin, the kindest boy at Hogwarts.

The two were best friends, but perhaps there was always a little bit more.

Sirius was openly bisexual, flamboyant and flaunting of his sexuality, he flirted with anyone and everyone.

Rumour has it he tried to flirt Filch out of detention once.

Remus was gay, but only told others when asked. He didn’t think his sexuality was anyone’s business, perhaps except his and his partner’s only.

As a result of these two polar opposites that were too similar for their own good, there was always an underlying sense of attraction. Remus would watch Sirius from behind a book, smiling at his jokes, laughing at his antics.

Sirius always admired Remus’ scars, equating them with bravery and beauty.

One day, the attraction had just clicked, and the words “I love you Moony” became “I’m in love with you, Moony.”

The stolen glances turned into shared, lingering looks in classes after a make-out session in an alcove- Remus turning red when he realised he was wearing Sirius’ shirt instead of his own, one that was just a tad bit too small for the Werewolf, then vermillion when someone pointed out a hickey Sirius had left on his neck.

Nights were no longer lonely– neither of the two was plagued with nightmares anymore as, much like the year before, many nights were spent with Sirius on his knees- albeit under very, very different circumstances.

⚔︎.

Not long after they had gotten together, Gryffindor won yet another quidditch match against Slytherin, and a Marauders party had exploded in the Common Room. Students from every house, save for Slytherin, partied the night away with bottles of firewhiskey and cake from the house elves, which ended up more on people’s faces than in their mouths.

Remus, not one to “party hard” like Sirius or James, found himself sitting on the window seat, chatting with passersby, sipping on a cup of firewhiskey while watching his friends on the dance floor.

“Hey there Lupin. Not out there with the rest of your marauders?”

Lily sat herself down next to Remus, clutching her own firewhiskey as she watched her boyfriend dance with Remus’, Peter bouncing awkwardly between the two.

“Not really feeling up for it. Why aren’t you out there yourself? Thought you’d be out dancing with James, you two seem awfully close these days.”

A blush graced Lily’s face, coughing slightly to cover her embarrassment as she turned to face her fellow prefect.

“Well, you and Black seem awfully close yourselves. Are you actually dating him?”

From anyone else, Remus would’ve thought the question rude and blunt, intrusive, even. But over the years, he began counting Lily Evans a friend almost as close as the Marauders, so he shrugged, and let it slide.

“Maybe. What’s it to you?”

The redhead shrugged, looking out onto the dance floor where a Ravenclaw had grabbed onto Sirius, grinding onto his front as the Gryffindor seemed to welcome him, holding his hips close to his own, the pair lost in the music.

“I just worry about you, Remus. I know you two are best friends, and you should always trust the people you’re with, but, we all know what Black’s like. I don’t want to see you become one of the ones he leaves behind.”

Remus clenched his jaw at the sight of Nathan Sulzer grinding on his boyfriend, his heart clenching slightly as Sirius did nothing to stop him.

“I’ll be fine Lily.”

James wandered towards the two of them, pressing a kiss to Lily’s lips as he shoved Remus lightly on the shoulder.

“Alright, Moony?”

Remus felt his heart break slightly as Nathan peppered kisses on Sirius’ neck, the same spots he had kissed that very morning before the quidditch match. James followed the werewolf’s gaze as he failed to reply, his own fist clenching in response.

“Merlin Moony, I’m so sorry. I swear I thought he would’ve changed for you. I love that man but I swear he can be so thick somedays.”

Remus shook his head, feeling tears well up that he willed away, putting down the cup and pushing himself off the seat.

“It’s fine. I’m going to head upstairs first. G’night you two.”

“I love you Moony.”

“Love you too Prongs. Night Lil.”

⚔︎.

That was not the night Sirius Black broke Remus Lupin’s heart for the last time. Later that night, the beater had come up, small hickeys staining his neck and collar overturned as he begged Remus for his forgiveness.

“I was so drunk baby I didn’t even realise what he was doing. Just celebrating, I didn’t even know who I was dancing with! I love you so much Re I’m so sorry. It will never happen again.”

Remus forgave him. He always did.

After all, this was Sirius Black he was faced with.

And if we know anything, it’s that Remus Lupin always forgave Sirius Black.

Later that week, when Nathan Sulzer came to Remus to ask for help with a transfiguration essay, he merely turned and walked away, causing Nathan to wonder what he’d done to earn the ire of the kindest boy in Hogwarts.

⚔︎.

It was the last day of exams in sixth year. Remus and Peter, being the only ones in the Marauders to take NEWT level Ancient Runes, were the last to finish their exams. Excitedly discussing what was to come in the summer as well as the final weeks of school, the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower.

“So what are you doing over the summer Wormy? Have your parents settled on a vacation spot yet, or are you going to finally stay around for once?”

Peter smiled softly, shrugging as he clutched his books to his chest.

“I’m not really sure, but I think we should be around for the last few weeks. You’re staying with Prongs and Padfoot for a while, right? I think I’ll probably be able to join you if you’re still there by the time I get-”

The pair’s conversation was cut short as they ascended the stairs to their dorm, hearing a piercing feminine moan coming from their room.

“Merlin, never pegged Lily for the vocal type.”

Peter frowned, uncomfortable.

“Clearly you’ve not been around the Potter household when she stays with Prongs during Christmas. ”

Shuddering, their soft laughter was cut short as footsteps thundered up the stairs behind them, muscular arms landing on the two Marauders’ shoulders.

“Alright, lads! Finally finished with your exams?”

James Fleamont Potter stood behind his two fellow Marauders in all his glory, making the boys freeze in their actions.

“I- you-”

Remus’ mind was moving a mile a minute, the reality clocking in but he refused to admit it. This had to be some sort of a sick prank.

“If you’re out here, then who’s that in there having sex with Lily?!”

Peter pointed at the door, the confusion and adrenaline running through the three boys making them miss the soft moan of ‘Sirius’ coming from behind the doors.

“What?! Nobody better be having sex with my Lily!”

The heavy wooden doors flew open as James kicked it with all his might, revealing Emmeline Vance naked and on top of the one and only, Sirius Black.

“Padfoot?!” emerged out of Peter’s mouth at the same time as the words “That’s not Lily!” came from James’, before reality dawned upon the two, turning to face the werewolf.

“Get out.”

“Moony I-”

For the first time in a long time, Remus felt a fire rise in his stomach, his temper snapping as he threw his books on the ground.

“All of you, get out!”

The werewolf’s head snapped up at the naked boy on the bed, who was stealing fearful glances at the girl quickly redressing next to him.

“Except you, Black.”

⚔︎.

Sirius had awkwardly finished putting on his clothes as Remus stood beside his own bed, feeling nothing, his previous anger had sizzled out and left him hollow.

“Moony I-”

“I don’t want to hear you speak. I don’t, I just,”

A memory flashed by Remus’ mind, that party after Gryffindor’s first win of the year. Lily’s words echoing in his mind: we all know what Black’s like.

“Maybe they were right. You never did change.”

A cold laugh emerged from the prefect’s lips, looking up at the ceiling he’d become so familiar with over the past year. The one he’d studied night after night with Sirius in his arms, the one he’d memorised when he wondered whether he did anything wrong when Sirius apologised to him for this thing or that, breaking his heart bit by bit, day by day.

“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, of all people, could ever love me? Sirius Black, prince of Gryffindor. The biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen, the biggest heartbreaker there’s ever been!”

Remus continued laughing his emotionless laugh, one that made Sirius wince and shudder. It was so unlike him, so hollow, so cruel.

Nothing like his Remus.

“Of course I love you Moony. I love you.”

Sirius made his way over to Remus, his calloused hands reaching out towards Remus’ scarred ones.

“No you don’t.”

Remus’ hand was enveloped for a mere second, the familiar warmth begging him to stay before his sinking heart reminded him of the hurt he was pushed under by those same hands, and ripped himself away.

“If you loved me, you would never have done this. If you loved me, you’d never have made me doubt whether you really wanted to be with me. If you’d loved me,”

Remus looked at Sirius for the first time since James and Peter left the room. As their eyes met, Remus felt the tears welling in the grey eyes he loved so dearly pulling at his heartstrings, clenching his jaw before continuing, willing his own tears not to fall.

“We wouldn’t be here. I was in love with you, but you were in love with the idea of me. The chase, the excitement of a relationship you couldn’t flaunt all across the halls.”

Muted ‘no’s and soundless protests were made as Sirius fell to his knees in front of Remus for the umpteenth time that year, but this time out of desperation, an attempt to salvage something that couldn’t be salvaged.

“But you got tired, and you found the excitement in sneaking around with others. Pushing the boundaries to see how far you could get without being caught.”

Tears fell freely from Sirius’ eyes now, clutching onto Remus’ trousers as he cried out.

“That’s not it. Please Re, I love you, I love you so much. You’re everything for me, my home, my only. Please don’t do this.”

Remus’ own eyes flew shut, but he continued, tears escaping as rapidly as the words did.

“And now you’ve gotten caught. I hope it was worth it, because I’m done forgiving you. I’m just so, so done. I’m tired of not being good enough for you, I’m tired of second guessing myself and wondering why you end up in other people’s arms.”

Sirius shook his head fervently, incoherent words and sobs wracked from his throat as he hugged Remus’ legs with more strength than he knew he had, shaking his head at the werewolf’s words.

“You know, I would’ve done anything for you. I forgave you each and every time you crawled back to me. No matter how many times you broke my heart, I turned to putty in your hands every time you told me ‘I love you’.”

Remus’ hands landed on the boy’s shoulders for the last time, a motion so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time, pulling him away. He took Sirius’ chin into his hand, tilting his head up to meet his tearfully hopeful eyes.

“I love you Remus.”

Desperation dripped from the animagus' voice, his eyes searching Remus' face for one last bit of mercy, one last "I love you".

“I love you Sirius. But I don’t want to love you any longer.”

#writing #mine #wolfstar #marauders #harry potter #wolfstar angst #angst #hp angst #hp imagine #wolfstar imagine #wolfstar oneshot #harry potter angst #harry potter imagine #harry potter fic #hp fic #wolfstar fic

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jalapeno-princess · 3 years

Text

A Love For The Ages

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 5.7K

Genre: The fluffiest fluff that I have written in a while and it makes me sad that this isn’t my reality :(

Summary: Being an executive researcher, Mark has a lot on his plate as it is. He has one of the highest positions at the company he’s employed at, which means he has a huge responsibility in bringing the company success. Unfortunately, the more time he spends trying to win over other businesses in to becoming clients and partners, the less time he has to spend with the love of his life. You.

A/N: Hey guys, slowly but surely I am getting back in to the rhythm of writing again but I still have a tendency of starting a story and not finishing it so please be patient with me. This story is based on “Groovy Kind of Love” by Phil Collins and I highly recommend you listen to it it’s so good @God why am I single? Happy reading!

When I'm feeling blue All I have to do Is take a look at you Then I'm not so blue

When you're close to me I can feel your heartbeat I can hear you breathing in my ear

Wouldn't you agree? Baby, you and me Got a groovy kind of love

Any time you want to You can turn me into Anything you want to Any time at all

When I kiss your lips Ooh, I start to shiver Can't control the quivering inside Wouldn't you agree? Baby, you and me Got a groovy kind of love

This is a very big deal, it can bring millions of dollars to our company. The success of our company is in your hands Mark. We’re all counting on you.

Those words repeatedly replayed over and over in his mind like a broken record, taunting him—making him feel as though such a heavy burden was placed on his shoulders. It had already been such a long day at work; he was coming up with multiple proposals, contacting potential clients, checking up with current clients and doing his research on a business deal with one of the biggest tech companies in the world.

Minutes felt like hours and the day went by agonizingly slow. One hour before he was supposed to leave—with the very tiny amount of energy he had left, he reached for his phone and re-read the messages you sent to him at the beginning of his shift. Honestly, your sweet and heartfelt words were what kept Mark going throughout his exhausting and frustrating days at the office. You were his motivation; just looking at a photo of you or hearing your gentle and extremely calming voice could break him out of any dejected state. The thought of arriving home to you is what prevented him from having a nervous breakdown.

Unfortunately, to Mark’s dismay, right as he put his phone down, both the director of his department and his manager walked in to his office to talk about the business deal your boyfriend was assigned to. Just a few months ago, Mark was given a promotion to marketing executive—a position that was usually given to employees that have working at the company for many years.

Your boyfriend was extremely intelligent; he graduated from the University of Southern California with his Master’s degree in business and communication at the prime age of twenty-three years old. He had only been working at the company for a little over seven months when the CEO of the company himself told Mark of how proud he was to have such a hardworking and extremely talented employee working at his company.

Mark was a very humble and soft-spoken individual; he was never one to gloat nor did he ever talk highly of himself. But his colleagues and his higher ups were extremely vocal about the fact that he was one of the best people who worked at the company. As grateful as he was to have been given such a prestigious position, it was also a lot more strenuous and draining work he had to accomplish. It also meant spending more time at the company—working ten to twenty hours overtime and less time with his favorite person in the entire world. You.

He had a hard time understanding how someone could be so selfless, patient and understanding. Not once have you ever made him feel bad about not being home as often as he should and you were so supportive. You did things for him without being asked and you sacrificed so much of your time, effort and energy to make sure he was well taken care of.

You’d wake up an hour earlier than you needed to just to make him breakfast, prepare a nice, hearty lunch, iron his clothes for the day and to make sure he had everything he needed in his suitcase. Some days, he regretted taking on the position. Sure, it was nice getting to call himself an executive, he had a spacious office with a beautiful view of the cityscape all to himself and the pay was pretty good for someone at his age. Yet, none of that mattered to him. He would rather be making less than half of his current pay check and be cooped up in a tight cubicle if it meant getting to be around you more often.

To Mark, you were so much more than just his girlfriend. You were an angel—an otherworldly being sent in his life to be a hiding place; a place of solace, happiness, comfort and love. The two of you have been together for almost three years now and he could confidently say that these last few years have been some of the best years in his entire twenty-seven years of existence.

You were his person; his soulmate. A best friend, personal chef, comedian, nurse, teacher, therapist and shoulder to cry on all in one. Even if he was taught from a young age that nobody was perfect, to Mark—you broke that cliché entirely. Not only were you the most beautiful girl he has ever laid his eyes on; you had one of the most generous hearts and kindest personality someone could have. Everything about you was simply breathtaking and it made him feel like such a terrible boyfriend that he was unable to cherish you and give you the attention that you never failed to shower him with—the attention you deserved. When the two older men explained that the company’s reputation was on the line, he wanted to scream.

There were more than a thousand employees working at the company and he had five other colleagues assisting him in this project, so why were they expecting so much out of him? Mark understood that they believed in him and they were sure he was capable of such great things, but they were only making him feel a lot more pressured than he already was.

He went in to work that morning with a huge smile on his face after waking up an hour earlier to cuddle with you and to catch up on your life since he hasn’t had the time to really talk with you. It was relaxing; he allowed you to do the talking and leaned back so he could really take in your effortless beauty, award winning smile and contagious laughter. Your boyfriend was a simple man. Moments like those were when he was his happiest. Hell, he was his happiest whenever he was in your presence.

You meant the entire world to him and Mark was very good at thanking whatever higher power brought the two of you together on a daily basis for allowing him to be the lucky man who got to love you and be graciously loved by you. His mind was filled with the thought of you and getting to be back in your arms again but eagerness to leave for the day was now ruined.

Their unwavering hope and huge amount of trust in him led him to stay back a couple hours longer. He sent you a few apologetic text messages, claiming that he wanted nothing more than to fall apart in your arms and have you hold him as he cried from how worn out he was but that he really needed to make sure his proposal was one that would impress their aspired business partner and make his management proud. You replied back within seconds, telling him that it was okay and that he should think about taking a vacation to get some well deserved rest. You also told him that you were extremely proud of him, that you loved him with every fiber of your being and that you would wait up for him no matter what time he ended up coming home.

His heart fluttered and he could physically feel his cheeks warm up as his eyes grazed over your love confession. God, he couldn’t even fathom in to words how madly and irrevocably in love with you he was. Your words motivated him; any ounce of fatigue that he felt disappeared and he soon began typing away at his computer. He dug deeper in to his research and made sure to analyze and re-read his proposal to make sure everything was grammatically correct and that there weren’t any spelling errors.

When he felt content with his finished product, he decided to call it a day and mentally groaned when he saw what time it was as he punched out. 11:42 P.M. He was supposed to leave more than five hours ago and it didn’t even matter that he wasn’t as tired as he should be. The image of you sitting on the couch or lying in bed—waiting patiently for him to arrive made his stomach churn.

He came to the decision that once this entire business deal was over, whether the company decided to sign with his or not, he was taking a break and he was determined to make up for lost time by taking you somewhere you have always wanted to go. After packing up and making the journey to the parking lot, he got in to his car and briskly made his way back to your shared apartment—but he came up with an idea out of the blue and made a quick stop at the grocery store to pick you up some flowers and a quart of your favorite ice cream.

Since it was so late, there was hardly any customers and he was glad; not being able to wait any longer to finally be in your embrace again. Although he saw you earlier that morning, any time spent away from you felt like a long, gruesome day—sometimes it felt like weeks. His friends would tease him about how clingy he could be whenever it came to you and that he was whipped beyond belief to which he would immediately respond with a smile.

He didn’t care what anyone had to say about him and the way he was quite the lost puppy because of you. He loved it—it just proved that he loved you more than anyone in the world could possibly love another person. So whenever one of his friends would joke around about how big of a hopeless romantic he was, Mark would shrug them off and boast confidently about how much he adored you and how you were the reason for his existence.

Mark ran at least three red lights and he thanked God that no policeman was around because at the speed he had been driving, your boyfriend was sure to get a ticket or two. The second he pulled in to the garage, he made a beeline up to your unit and prayed that you were still awake. Though, if you just so happened to fall asleep even if you stated that you would wait up for him, he couldn’t blame you.

You were just as much of a hardworking person as he was and you were extremely dedicated to your job as an elementary school teacher. Your boyfriend envied you. It was obvious that you loved your job—you enjoyed working with children from a very young age and even if the pay wasn’t all that great, you didn’t seem to care. One of your characteristics that Mark appreciated the most about you was the fact that you cared about helping others in any way you possibly could, not caring about what you would receive in return.

Plus, unlike a lot of people working nine to five, you genuinely found delight in being able to help enhance the minds of little ones and to teach them everything they needed to know. He’s visited you at your school multiple times and he’s been able to sit in while you taught your students. It was more than just a job to you—Mark knew that you would be a teacher without getting payed if there was ever a situation like that.

He wasn’t being biased because you were his girlfriend but your bubbly personality, the way you would spend your hard earned money to buy your students supplies, gifts and anything you needed for the classroom and just the way you talked with so much excitement in your voice as you’d tell him some stories from work, he knew you were the best teacher your students could have.

When he walked in the door, his heart fluttered at the sight of you in nothing but one of his shirts; your long, smooth legs clad of anything—dancing along to the playlist he made for you of songs that reminded him of you. You were currently standing at the kitchen counter and he could tell you must have been too busy looking at the recipe book while swaying along to Bruno Mars to realize that he was now home.

He bit his lip watching your hips move ever so gently and although his clothes could be a little baggy on you, your curvaceous figure he was obsessed with was on full display. In his opinion, you looked amazing in every single item of clothing you wore. A blouse and a pencil skirt, a little black dress, sweatpants and a hoodie—it didn’t matter, whatever you wore caused his mouth to water. But whenever you’d wear one of his shirts, Mark was sure that’s when you were the most lethal. He wanted to give you his entire closet just so he could see you in his clothing.

Your boyfriend couldn’t really put his finger on it—maybe it was because you were just so beautiful and you matched everything you put on or because seeing you in something that was his reminded him that you belonged to him—that you were his just as much as he was yours.

You had yet to acknowledge his presence and as much as he wanted to continue drinking in your effortless beauty, he was sure the longer he were to watch you, the closer he would get to the brink of insanity, and he just really wanted to kiss you. He attempted to tip toe towards you; he wanted to surprise you and when you jumped as he brought his hands down to your lower waist and placed his chin on your shoulder, he was confident that he succeeded.

“Hey baby. I’ve missed you so much. How was your day?”

You spun around and beamed up at him with your adorable cheesy grin; Mark could feel his heart rate increase. You really were the best thing to ever happen to him. What war did he fight in his past life to deserve you?

“I’ve missed you more my love. Today was great. The kids had a math test and most of them passed with flying colors. There’s also a book fair that started on Monday and they were all so excited to explore the many books on display which gave me a nice break from teaching. I would ask you the same, but by the dark circles under your eyes alone, I can already tell that you had quite the rough day.”

You brought your hands up to his cheeks and cupped either side of his face; grazing your thumbs right under his eyes. He gave you a sad smile before leaning down to place a sweet kiss upon your lips.

“Baby, you know it’s okay to ask for help right? You don’t need to suffer all alone. You already do so much for them and I can totally see why they are putting so much faith in to you, but you’re only human Mark. You’re going to burnout at this rate and I’m afraid that you’re going to end up in the hospital if you keep overworking and stressing too much. I know you want to make everybody happy, but sometimes it’s okay to be selfish if it means putting your happiness first. I made you your favorite; it’s in the fridge, you just have to heat it up. I also pre-ironed your clothes for tomorrow, I did a load of your laundry, I took Milo out for a walk and I’m currently making you some chocolate chip cookies because I know how they’re your weakness and there’s a bath with your name on it—oof—“

He gave you no time to say anything else before pulling you closer to his body if it were even physically possible. Mark’s friend Jackson called the two of you magnets; your boyfriend had the tendency to hold you very tight. Wherever you would go, everyone who knew the two of you could expect Mark to follow along.

This meant grocery shopping, doctor’s visits, family and friend outings, he would even go shopping with you and Mark was the type of boyfriend who followed you around, giving his opinion on what he thought would look good on you—both makeup and clothing wise although he made it clear that you were one of those girls who did not need makeup at all. You were already a sight for sore eyes bare-faced and he’d admit that makeup only enhanced your beauty, but he found you even prettier without anything on your face.

Hearing that you completed all these tasks for him; especially after coming home from work even if you didn’t consider teaching all that burdening—he was sure you were equally as tired—it made tears build up at his eyelids. Mark thanked you on a daily basis for all that you’ve done and continue to do for him. You were so thoughtful and your actions only proved to him that he was your main priority. If only he could say that you were his.

If there was anything Mark could change about his life, it would be the amount of time he’d spend in yours. You never showed nor did you tell him that his lack of presence bothered you, but he had a feeling you probably desired more time with him. The two of you were a couple and even if you’ve been together for quite some time, you both were still in the honeymoon stage. You were practically obsessed with one another, so it was natural that you’d want to be around him more often.

Mark only ever saw you on the weekends; in the morning before work and right before you’d go to sleep. He’d give you gifts and write you letters to show his appreciation but there was so much more he wish he could do to explain just how grateful he was for you. Your boyfriend didn’t even notice that he started to cry until he felt your delicate fingers swiping along his cheeks. Right as you were about to say something, he reconnected your lips together and kissed you fervently. His lips were now smashed against yours; the need to have your mouth against his own was driving him crazy.

Out of everything the two of you did in your relationship, kissing you had to be his favorite. Your boyfriend made it his duty to tell you how he thought you were a goddess and worshiped your body as though it was a holy temple every time he had the chance which was almost always. He adored your facial features and God took his time with you. Every curve, every freckle, beauty mark and birth mark—he could locate each and every single one.

Right after your passionate love making sessions, you’d fall asleep because the two of you normally would go multiple rounds for at least two to three hours. He’d stay up and gaze at you in awe of your gorgeousness—basking in all of your beauty.

Yeah, he was definitely whipped.

Out of all your body parts though, your lips had to be his favorite. Well, other than your breasts, your thighs and your ass. But your lips were so cute; they were heart shaped along with being the prettiest shade of bright red. Plus, they were his own personal drug and to say your lips were addicted was an understatement.

Once he began kissing you, there was no stopping him. It was understandable knowing that make out sessions would turn in to love making sessions not too long afterward. He couldn’t help himself. Your lips molded perfectly with his. It was as if God actually made the two of you for each other and it was a huge honor to call you his significant other.

The older boy lifted you up on to the counter as if it was the easiest thing to do, but it wasn’t something he wasn’t used to. He didn’t even pull away to take a breath or anything, he wanted to continue kissing you—he moaned when you sucked on his bottom lip and brought it in between his teeth. When you pulled away to take a quick breather and to recollect all your sanity, your boyfriend let out the most adorable whine and placed his forehead against yours.

“Wow—um—Hi.” You giggled softly at his choice of words but it was typical Mark to have this kind of reaction after you literally knocked the wind out of him.

“Hi.” He brought his thumb up to your bottom lip and gently glided it—giggling as you brought it in your mouth.

“I love you. There’s nothing else I can say but that and I need you to know that the love I have for you is genuinely indescribable. There aren’t even enough words in the dictionary that can form a sentence that can describe the impact you’ve had in my life. You—you are a marvel. You are everything I could have ever wanted in a life partner and more. So much more. I know you hate it when I say this, but you are perfect. I mean it y/n. Every single thing about you is just simply perfect and I just—thank you for allowing me to be the extremely lucky person who gets to receive your love and affection on a daily basis. You’re my entire universe, you mean everything to me. You are everything to me and I will spend my entire life giving you the world on a silver platter. Today was shit, I don’t even need to go in to detail about it but it fucking sucked. I was supposed to come home to you six hours ago. Six hours—you know how much sex we could have had—ow, what? I’m deprived baby, it’s been an entire week since you got my dick wet but I’ve been fucking hard every single day. Anyways, before you give me bruises and not in the ways I would prefer, all I could do was think about you. You would think my mind would be clouded with this stupid proposal but no. My beautiful baby was all I could think about—what you were doing, what we would be doing if I didn’t work so much, how your day was so far, if you are all your meals, if you were staying hydrated, if you were thinking about me the way I can’t seem to stop thinking about you—“ He brought back some of your hair and placed it behind your ear while playfully poking your nose in the process.

“No matter how shitty work or even just life in general can get; my whole world could shatter and I couldn’t give less of a shit. I could lose my job or get demoted back to my previous position and I wouldn’t care. They could take away my car and force us to move out of this place and I wouldn’t even bat an eye at our misfortune. I don’t need anyone or anything on this hell forsaken earth but you. You’re a need. I need you. I’m nothing without you. I think I would die of a broken heart if I were to lose you and I’m going to make sure that I never end up in a situation where you’re no longer in my life. I hope you know you are stuck with me forever. You’re the reason I wake up with the biggest grin on my face every morning. Whenever I’m feeling sad or I have no energy, I just take a look at you and I remember why I do all that I do. Why I suffer through so much unnecessary bullshit, why I don’t end up in a mental institution—I remember why my heart is always so full and feels as if it’s about to leap out of my chest. You are my reason. You and I, we have a love that people could only dream of experiencing. Fairytales can’t even compare to what we have. My bosses, they always tell me how proud they are of me and they’ll congratulate me about my hard work but I really do not give a shit about anyone else’s opinions other than yours. Oh—before I forget, I um—I bought you some flowers; they didn’t have your favorite but these ones reminded me of you and I also got strawberry cheesecake ice cream to which I’m sure is probably a milkshake now and the flowers are probably smashed but—“

Mark should have expected the kiss as a way to silence him and his insecurities or doubts, it was a reoccurrence whenever he talked negatively about himself or the way he did things. The way you and your boyfriend always reassured each other and complimented one another so frequently was one of the many reasons why the two of you were so perfect together. He was surprised to say the least; most of the time, he took the lead in initiating kisses or your love making sessions because he was the more dominant figure in your relationship but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have your fun every now and then.

Slowly, his hands made their way in to his shirt that you were wearing; gliding his fingers along your hip bones and running his hands down your sides. Both your lips and his were swollen to the tenth degree. The kiss was soon growing sloppy and intense; Mark felt as though his body was on fire and he was being consumed by the flames caused by you and just your presence alone. It didn’t matter that the two of you kissed every single day, he’d get butterflies in his tummy on the daily.

He could be on the verge of falling asleep but the second your lips are on his, Mark would get a burst of energy that he didn’t think he was physically capable of and it would last for the entirety of your late night romp. His dress pants were extremely tight at this point and the frustration he felt from work was now turned in to sexual frustration. Once he was done pouring his heart out to you, he was going to make his way inside of you.

“Mark, you didn’t have to get me anything at all, but I’m extremely grateful. You’re so thoughtful; you sounded so tired and you could have came straight home but you didn’t. They’re beautiful—thank you. I—I’m at a loss for words. I’m still taking that all in. God, we’re so cheesy but I love it and I love you. So fucking much. Everything you just said, the way you feel about me is the exact way I feel about you. Whenever I hear someone say the word “perfect”, my mind automatically wanders off to you. One of my students actually asked about you today, wanting to know when Mr.Mark was going to visit again. I swear, those kids adore you more than they do me and they’ve only met you three times. I don’t blame them though, you’re exceptionally wonderful. I’m not going to lie, I do wish that we could see each other a lot more often. You’re one of the only sources of happiness I have in my life. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining and I’m fine with any kind of communication with you—just hearing your voice keeps me going throughout my day. But I would rather see you in person than through a phone screen during our lunch breaks. I went out with my friends the other night and they were all talking about their relationships and how it’s healthy in a relationship to go on dates frequently to keep the spark alive. I didn’t think about it until they brought it up but we haven’t been on a date in almost two months. We’re both so busy and so exhausted, so I brushed it off. I miss it though, I miss doing cute and domestic things with you. I miss how life used to be like before we entered the real world and had to start adulting. I miss seeing you smile—genuinely. I miss hearing your childlike laugh, it takes a lot more to get a reaction out of you these days but I can understand why. I just—I miss you. You’re here in my arms, yet you feel so far away. I’m sorry, I’m being selfish and I shouldn’t have said anything—“

“Y/n, you’re not being selfish at all baby. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a terrible boyfriend—don’t give me that look, you know it’s the truth. You never fail to make me and our relationship our main priority yet I can’t do the same for you and I hate sitting in my office after hours, thinking about you eating dinner by yourself or having to do errands by yourself. I hate the thought of you being alone. God—you need to know that there is nothing more I want in life than to spend every single minute by your side. I really don’t mean to be so down in the dumps all the time, I’m trying my best to not show how much work is tearing me apart because I don’t want you worrying about me. You already have so much more to worry about. I knew I was neglecting you, but hearing you describe how the distance makes you feel—I’m so fucking sorry baby and I’m sure you’re tired of hearing me apologize but I am sincerely so sorry. I can’t promise you that things will go back to the way they used to be before my promotion but I will promise you that I’ll try harder. I’ll be more involved, I will make sure you never question my feelings for you ever again. I will make sure that you feel loved—cared for—I will take care of you the way you so diligently do for me—to the point where you will get tired of me. You know, if you want me to ask if I can return back to my previous position, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just say the word and I’ll go back to being a researcher—“ He frowned as you shook your head in disagreement at his proposition.

“There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you lose the job you’ve worked so hard to receive. You’ve worked your ass off for so many years to become the extremely talented and hardworking supervisor of your division you are now. Plus, they were already working you to the bone when you were in research and you were getting paid less than even a fourth of what you are now. I’m sorry baby, I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want you feeling bad that we hardly ever see each other or that your a terrible boyfriend. You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for my love. I love every single thing about you; the way you would sacrifice your food for me if I didn’t end up liking mine, the way your eyes crinkle whenever you laugh, the way you put your heart and soul in to each and every single one of your endeavors, the way I feel so safe and sound in your arms. I will admit, yes, I used to reminisce on what our life used to be like before we both grew so busy, but it’s not like we’re far apart. I know couples who barely even speak to one another and they see each other throughout the entire day. I think the distance makes our hearts grow fonder in a sense. I miss you for hours on end, but the yearning is all worth it once we go to bed together. What’s a couple of years getting to see you only a couple of hours a day when we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together—well, I mean, if that’s what you want but—“

“Don’t finish that sentence. No buts. Unless it’s yours. I swear I went over this with you many times, you’re stuck with me for eternity. I’m going to marry you one day. God, you’re so fucking wonderful. I don’t ever want to stop reminding you of how amazing you are. Those words aren’t even enough to describe how enraptured I am by you. You would think my confession of how madly in love with you I am and how I would rather die than to live in a world without you would be enough to describe just how deep my love for you goes.”

He brought your left hand up to his mouth and kissed the tip of each and every single—letting his lips linger on your ring finger. He giggled as blush soon appeared on to your cheeks in shyness.

“Soon. I promise you. I’ll give you the wedding and the ring of your dreams. Every single guest we invite will be able to witness the love story of a lifetime. Our love is one they’d write novels about. You and I were made for one another. Your soul and mine are one. Every beat of my heart, every breath that I take, it’s all because of you. I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle—even more so for you to take my last name. Y/n Tuan, sounds perfect to me. I’ve been secretly attaching my last name to your name since the beginning of our relationship. Even only after a month, I knew in my heart that you were the girl I wanted to settle down and start a family with. Forget seeing you in my future, you are my future. After everything you just said to me and all that you prepared for me earlier, I think I might just skip a step and give you a baby. I can’t wait to see you swollen with my baby inside of you. But until then, why don’t I show you just how much I love you while I’m inside of you?”

#got7 imagines #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 #got7 mark

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 3 years

Text

Reggie//everyone loves a cliche

Request: Can I request a reader/Reggie with sort of the cliche footballer/cheerleader stereotype sort of fluff plot wise

hey! i hope this is what you wanted! i had a lot of fun writing this!

- At first, you and Reggie don’t like each other

- Which is kind of a cliche in itself

- He’s too arrogant

- You’re to ‘preppy’

- Whatever the hell thats supposed to mean

- But its not like you hate each other

- You never go out of your way to make the others lives miserable

- Just if there’s a mention of one of you, the other will roll their eyes

- Any other time, you just try to avoid each other.

- But that becomes a bit more difficult when your best friends start dating

- Veronica and Archie become a thing

- Meaning there is literally no escape from each other

- Queue an endless amount of third and fourth wheeling

- ‘you’re the fourth wheel’

- ‘isn’t that better than third?’

- ‘no because you’re last’

- ^Just a snippet of the arguments you would have while Veronica and Archie shove their tongues down each others throats

- So now you’re forced together regularly

- And because you usually have to spend time at Pop’s, you either have to sit next to or opposite each other.

- God help anybody who thinks you’re a couple

- Or even just friends tbh

- ‘you think we’re dating?’

- ‘you think i would go anywhere near him?!’

- ‘exactl-hey! if anyone is rejecting anyone. its me rejecting you.’

- ‘you keep telling yourself that.’

- ‘i just asked for your order...’

- But one day something changes

- Archie and Veronica are late

- How? You don’t know because you left practice at the same time

- And she’d specifically told you during practice that you were all going to Pop’s straight after.

- So now you and Reggie have to be alone for a while

- As soon as you walk into the diner and see Reggie sat alone, your smile vanishes

- You’d already had a rubbish day

- And now you have to drag yourself over to sit opposite him

- ‘hey pom-poms. i thought cheerleaders were supposed to be happy all the time.’

- ‘i’m not in the mood reg. where’s veronica?’

- ‘probably wherever archie is.’

- ‘...’

- ‘whats up?’

- ‘do you actually care or do you just want something to gossip about in the locker room?’

- ��do i look like cheryl blossom to you?’

- You’d crack a smile at that which would spark something unfamiliar in him

- ‘no...thank god’

- ‘i’ve heard a problem shared is a problem halved’

- ‘and where exactly did you hear that?’

- ‘its just something my mom used to say to me’

- ‘used to?’

- ‘we don’t really talk much anymore. but come on, tell me whats wrong.’

- ‘i’ve just had a bit of a crappy day. everything just got on top of me and then i ended it with a really rough practice.’

- ‘well, good news is that you’re crappy day is over, and you survived it. plus, i’ve seen you practice and you’re great.’

- ‘you’re just saying that.’

- ‘when do i ever just say things...especially nice things...and especially about you.’

- ‘true’

- ‘don’t tell cheryl, but i think you’re the best on that team.’

- Both of you would blush and look away, not really sure of what to say and praying for Archie and Veronica to turn up soon.

- A few minutes of some very awkward silence, they eventually turn up

- And both of you would be extremely thankful.

- After that you start to look at him differently

- And he starts to notice small things about you

- Things shift between you ever so subtly

- Instead of rolling your eyes, they would light up at the mention of the other

- And instead of avoiding each other, you found yourselves looking for the other

- If one of you told a joke, you’d look at the other to see if they were laughing

- And small looks would be shared between the two of you whenever Archie and Veronica were doing something gross

- Both of you would start to look forward to being the third and fourth wheel

- Because now it doesn’t really feel like it anymore

- And slowly your friends start to notice the changes

- Subtle and not so subtle

- Especially when you start hanging out with each other, without the need of anyone else being there

- So now its just a matter of time

- Which thankfully isn’t that long

- A month later...

- Veronica and Archie are late...yet again

- But you don’t mind

- Sometime you and Reggie go to Pop’s early so you can spend some time together before they turn up

- By the time Reggie gets there, you’ve already ordered his food and he feels his heart skip a beat because you actually remembered his favourite

- ‘archie text me and apparently something has come up.’

- ‘i don’t want to know whats up.’ You’d reply with a scrunch of your nose.

- He’d chuckle softly and your mind would go blank for a few seconds

- Because you made him do that!

- You could happily hear that noise every single day for the rest of your life and never get sick of it

- Oh crap

- Do you like Reggie Mantle?

- Like more than a friend???

- Maybe even love him?!?!

- ‘y/n? are you okay?’

- ‘what? yeah...just thinking.’

- ‘remember, a problem shared is a problem halved’

- ‘i’m good, really.’

- But you’re really not good

- Not at all

- You’ve fallen for Reggie Mantle

- Arrogant footballer

- But also so much more

- He’s got the kindest, purest soul ever

- He’ll do anything for his friends

- And he’ll do anything to make you laugh

- Little do you know

- As you’re having your small freakout

- Reggie is doing the exact same

- He’s just realized how in love with you he actually is

- All it took was a crude joke and a scrunch of your nose

- Now what does he do?

- He’s always so confident

- Thats what made you dislike him in the first place

- But right now, he isn’t sure if he’s able to say hello

- So he blurts out the next best thing

- ‘goodbye’

- ‘what?’

- ‘i mean i love you’

- ‘what?!?’

- ‘what?’

- Now he’s standing up and trying to figure out the best escape route

- ‘reg? where are you going?’

- ‘away. i don’t love you. i like you. i mean not that i couldn’t love you. i could definitely love you...very easily. maybe i do love you. can i kiss you? wait what?’

- ‘yes. you can kiss me.’

- That surprises both of you

- But he doesn’t waste anymore time and leans over the table to kiss you

- Its awkward because of the position he’s in and definitely a little embarrassing

- But its perfect

- After a few dates you’d make it official

- And then the real cliches would start

- Quickly you’d become the couple of the school

- Everybody knows who you are

- Probably because he gave you his letterman jacket after your first date and you haven’t taken it off since

- ‘it just looks better on you babe’

- Speaking of ‘babe’

- The nicknames...

- So many

- ‘babe’

- ‘baby’

- ‘sweetheart’

- ‘my love’ (which is a personal favourite)

- ‘darling’ (another favourite)

- And your nicknames for him where just as cute

- ‘reg’ (obvious, but he likes it because its the one you called him before you even liked each other)

- ‘mantle’ (for when you wanted to tease him)

- ‘love’

- ‘babe’

- ‘sunshine’ (his secret favourite. he pretended to hate it but you noticed the soft smile on his face whenever you said it)

- You definitely won prom king and queen

- ‘you’re by far the prettiest queen this school has ever seen’

- Your Pop’s dates would become more and more frequent

- Now its Veronica and Archie’s turn to share looks when you kiss

- He’d walk you to class every chance he got

- And he’d always carry your books for you

- If you had a class together, he would always sit beside you

- And days were assignments were given and you could pick your partners were his favourite.

- When you didn’t have classes together he’d leave cheesy notes in your notebooks

- Or even just in your locker

- He’d always kiss you goodbye

- He’d also pull you into empty classrooms/corridors to make out

- Even if you were going to be late to something

- Mainly Bulldog/Vixen practice

- Much to your coaches annoyance

- Sorry Cheryl

- If you were free while he was practicing, you’d watch him from the bleachers

- And if he was free while you had practice, he’d definitely sneak in to watch

- Again, sorry Cheryl

- And at games you would always cheer the loudest

- Sometimes you’d come up with your own cheers that were just about him

- ...sorry Cheryl

- You were a constant distraction to the other

- Everybody would act so annoyed

- But they secretly all thought it was cute

- Because everyone loves a cliche

- And this one was by far your favourite

#reggie mantle #reggie mantle x reader #reggie mantle x you #reggie mantle imagine #riverdale #riverdale imagine #reggie #reggie imagine #reggie x reader

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tillthelandslide · 4 years

Text

The Perfect Trio: Henry Cavill / Anya Chalotra Fake Instagram

A/N: Hi everyone, this is a little bit of a different fake instagram post that I’ve made. I hope you like it.

Tag List: @harrysthiccthighss @thereisa8ella @magdelen69 @henrythickcavill @hc-geralt-23 @kissthatlifeaway @darkbooksarwin @august-w-princess @speakerforthedead0 @pixie1484 @constip8merm8 @tigerbroadwaybaby @agniavateira @summersong69 @aestheticallywinchester @stephartrave @al-wiisa @henrycavillfanpage @intenselikes @anat2507 @ellixthea @aguspalazzo @1ookatthestars00 @wintersoldierslut @michelehansel @cavill-sass @thecavillstache @xelizabethvalentinex @sesamepancakes @tumblnewby @thefangirlsblog @sugarmelonwater @madbaddic7ed @bakika @abundanceofsoph @noisymist @mis-lil-red @runawayolives @kellbell44

(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)

your_username:

your_username This was the moment Henry found out that the Witcher got picked up for another season! Beyond proud of you @henrycavill and also excited for everyone, I know it’ll be amazing. The Witcher Season 1 is now out on Netflix and I highly recommend you watch it, you’ll get to see the amazing work @laurenhissrich has done and the amazing characters that @henrycavill @anyachalotra @freyaallan and @joeybateyofficial and many more have brought to life

Liked by henrycavill, laurenhissrich, freyaallan, joeybateyofficial and 329,928 others

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henrycavill So excited!!

↳ your_username me too baby!!

anyachalotra Thank you so much for all of your support and love, so glad to have a friend like you

freyaallan Thank you! ALSO this is so cute

fan8 The way he’s squeezing her, adorable... literal definition of a bear hug

joeybateyofficial This is sweet

laurenhissrich woohoo!

your_username:

your_username Happy Anniversary @anyachalotra you absolute beauty. No we are not dating to those who do not know us 😂. But exactly one year ago today, I met you on the set of the Witcher... Henry had told me all about his amazing co-stars and about how lucky he felt to be working with such talented and upcoming actors. I met you and my life changed, you became my best friend quicker than anything else. I am so lucky to have a friend like you and I am so grateful to my love @henrycavill for introducing us

Liked by anyachalotra, henrycavill and 376,419 others

View all 4,593 comments

anyachalotra I love you so much. Thank you @henrycavill

↳ henrycavill You're welcome, but please don't take her from me

↳ anyachalotra No promises

henrycavill I love you

↳ your_username Love you more

freyaallan Beautiful 😍 happy anniversary 😂😘 @anyachalotra @your_username

↳ your_username Love you 💙 @freyaallan

↳ anyachalotra Love you 💜 @freyaallan

user902 This friendship is so stupid wtf. Who would want to become best friend with someone their boyfriend kisses ??

↳ user1 I 100% agree, so stupid, I dont like her anyway, would rather anya and henry get together

anyachalotra:

anyachalotra Today marks one year of knowing the absolute beautiful, wonderful, amazing, phenomenally talented and caring @your_username. The Witcher truly changed my life, I not only got the opportunity of a lifetime to play such a fantastic role, but I met some of the best people I have ever met. Working with Henry was an absolute joy but when he introduced me to you (whom he loves very much🥺) I knew I had met a lifelong best friend💕

Liked by henrycavill, your_username, freyaallan and 432,117 others

View all 4,792 comments

your_username So glad I met you 💕 also I love this picture 💕

↳ anyachalotra Me too 💕 best wrap party ever

Fan8 There friendship is cute don't get me wrong... But how can Yn be okay with Henry having to kiss her (now) best friend

↳ your_username I trust them both very much and its there job 💕

↳ hoeforhenry We stan a trusting queen

lovehenryandyn SO SO cute

user902 not really... so weird... bet henry is cheating on her with anya

↳ lovehenryandyn this is so rude, they trust each other, stop hating on them

anyachalotra:

anyachalotra two peas in a pod. @your_username forced Henry to take this 😂

Liked by freyaallan, your_username, henrycavill and 872,782 others

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your_username My wife 💕

↳ henrycavill excuse me?

↳ your_username metaphorically speaking. You're my one and only Hen💕 sorry @anyachalotra (you're my wifey still dw)

↳ anyachalotra Jealous much @henrycavill 😂

↳ henrycavill I mean yeah? Have you seen her? Met her? She's the best

henrycavill You're welcome @anyachalotra

↳ anyachalotra For the photo or for introducing me to the @your_username

↳ henrycavill Both

↳ your_username @henrycavill you're the best

freyaallan So cute. Wish I was there with you guys 💕

↳ your_username Me too 💕 we love you and miss you

henrycavill :

henrycavill As you all know, there are certain things in my life that I like to keep private. One of those things has always been my relationships. But then I met @your_username and I wanted everyone to know her, I wanted all of my fans to see how amazing she was. I wanted everyone I worked with to know that I was the lucky guy that got to call her my partner. One of the things I love most about her is her laugh and her smile. This week I haven't seen much of that smile because some people have left her, the love of my life, some truly awful messages. This is my Yn, she is beautiful, loving, caring, talented, a good friend, truly supportive and the most important person in my life. Please love her as much as I do and stop the nasty comments. Yn has taught me that everyone can be a little kinder 💕

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truefan The fact he had to post this in the first place, breaks my heart. I don't think people understand that by hurting his loved ones, you're hurting him

↳ fan19 Why did she get hate?

↳ truefan Not 100% sure. I know some of it was about her and anyas friendship. Some people were hating on her for being with Henry and being best friends with anya which is so stupid.

anyachalotra The best person around 💕 @your_username

joeybateyofficial The kindest person I had ever met. You're a lucky man and she deserves to smile like that everyday

henrycavill thanks man 💙

freyaallan Will never forget the day I met you, you were so supportive, kind and sweet and not a single day goes by when you are anything but that 😘💕

hoeforhenry Makes me so sad to see this post. And then you look at the amazing comments and Yn hasn't replied to any of them, probably because she's too upset to come on here now. Wishing you the best ❤️

↳ henrycavill She's taking a little break. Appreciate the support though 👍🏼 and so does Yn

laurenhissrich I will always remember when I met Yn, we spoke about her obsession with the Witcher books and games and she told me that she was beyond excited for the show to come out. She said that from what Henry had told her she knew she was going to love it and love our interpretation of it. Since that day she has showed me and everyone working on this project, nothing but support and love, she is always the first to be complimentary and honest and she deserves the very best 💜🤗

fanofhenry These comments are so adorable. Everyone just telling there own stories of her 💜 the haters can f off

your_username:

your_username

My wonderful Henry and my amazing best friend Anya. Nobody will make me feel bad for having these two gems in my life. Thank you everyone who sent me lovely messages and comments. The support means the world to me and I’ll never forget it

Liked by henrycavill, anyachalotra and 653,271 others

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henrycavill Proud of you my love

anyachalotra Stay positive and remember you are the best

fan8 So glad she’s back on here now, the haters are rude and nasty and their comments are ridiculous. This is the perfect trio right here

your_username Glad to be back! Thanks for this sweet comment

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muffledcries · 3 years

Photo

Jahmil French (July 29, 1991 – March 1, 2021)

We worked together on Soundtrack, and every single time you entered the room we all felt it get brighter. You were shiny, magnetic and so so kind. RIP and fly with the angels Jah. – JENNA DEWAN Really hate that this is real. @JahmilFrench you will be missed my friend. Thank you for your talents that pushed me, your energy that kept our little family on @soundtracknetflix glued together. I’m happy I was able to get to know you. Our work together def made an impact on me & You and your Mom felt like family back home. Today and everyday we will remember you and continue to be inspired to live and be great for you. Rest In Peace Jah. – CHRISTINA MILLIAN Honestly been at a loss for words since I heard the news. This doesn’t feel real. Jahmil, was one of the most talented actors I’ve ever worked with. One of the funniest kindest people I ever met. The life of the party, every room he would walk into he would always be dancing and making people laugh and smile. Too many good memories. Thank you Jahmil. Rest In Peace King. – AJ SAUDIN Heartbroken over the loss of our friend Jahmil French. We started on Degrassi the same year and I’ll never forget the day I met him. Jahmil was so full of energy and absolute joy to be around. The video on the last slide is how I always think of him, always dancing. He was such a special person and I’m so grateful for the memories we made. I still can’t believe it. Gone way too soon. He will be so missed by us all. – ANNIE CLARK My heart is so heavy.. Truly one of a kind. Rest In Peace. – CRISTINE PROSPERI I’m sick with the news of Jahmil’s passing. He performed Dave with such sensitivity and thoughtfulness and could make me laugh so easily. It was a pleasure to work with him and he will be missed. This is a real loss. Rest In Peace. – STEFAN BROGREN Jahmil had such talent and charisma that it would have been intimidating were he not also a real gentleman. He would show up to my house-parties with a crew of dancers and they would elevate the mood immediately. When life got messy he would handle himself with grace and levity. He was precocious. And his love for music (and dance) was contagious. He showed me Section 80 by Kendrick Lamar, made me appreciate Drake’s Houston sound… Wish I’d gotten the chance to catch up with him one more time, hear where his mind/dreams were at. – SAM EARLE Jahmil, your talents and energy will never be forgotten. One of the best smiles with the most beautiful soul. Jahmil, you will always be such a bright light in this world. – SARAH FISHER This one really hurts. Jahmil French was a truly kind soul and one of the most talented actors around. He inspired me with his confidence and support from the first day we met and will continue to do so forever. Thank you for everything you gave to this world through both your art and your humanity. Rest In Peace my friend. – CRAIG ARNOLD Much love to the entire Degrassi family on this difficult day. It was a complete honour to write for and work with Jahmil, an incredible actor and talent gone way too soon. – RAMONA BARCKERT An extraordinary talent and a bright light on and off screen. Rest in peace, Jahmil. – MICHAEL GRASSI So sad to hear about the passing of Degrassi cast-member Jahmil French. An endlessly talented & charming performer who was always fun to write for. Last time I saw him, he was nominated for a CSA for his work in the movie Boost and I was certain he was only getting started. RIP. – MATT HUETHER Jahmil was always such a kind person. My heart is heavy for him and his family. Thanks for all the good memories Jahmil, you really had an impact. I’ll cherish all the fun we had dancing at basement parties all those years ago. Still in shock. Jahmil will be missed. He was an integral part of the Degrassi family and certainly a huge part of my degrassi days. He always wanted to make people laugh and smile, a true joy to be around. Rest in Peace. – CHLOE ROSE Rest easy, my friend. Your talent, kindness and shining bright light will never be forgotten. – JESSICA TYLER Wanted to pay my respects to an incredibly kind, funny, and talented individual; Jahmil French. One of the first people I met on Degrassi, he immediately made me feel welcome. He disarmed you with a smile and his confidence and energy was infectious. You’ll be missed, brother. – DYLAN EVERETT Jahmil was one of the most gifted and effortless performers I’ve ever met. His vibrant personality lit up the room. Rest easy my friend. – MUNRO CHAMBERS I am heartbroken to hear about the loss of Jahmil. Jahmil was an extraordinary talent and a bright light on and off the screen. He was a joy to work with on Degrassi: The Next Generation. He brought an authenticity and burst of life to every scene he was in and infused his character ‘Dave’ with an airy lightness. Off screen Jahmil would always make me smile. He will be deeply missed. – LINDA SCHUYLER My heart goes out to the entire Degrassi community., but particularly of course to those who were closest with Jahmil. We have lost one of our own. Jahmil was kind, intelligent, extremely talented, and just a wonderful person. He was also of course an incredible dancer, and since I am the exact opposite we had a running joke that I had taught him all his dance moves. When I would completely ineptly do the Moonwalk, Jahmil would cheer me on, while everyone else would beg me to stop! RIP Jahmil French, your soul and presence are sorely missed. – STEPHEN STOHN A sad day for the Degrassi family. With a heavy heart I thank you for all the times you made me laugh, taught me dance moves, and gave me confidence as Adam. Thinking of all the memories we shared on and off of set. - JORDAN TODOSEY Thinking of Jahmil French & the entire Degrassi family today click here for the full post - LYLE LETTAU This one hurts me deeply. When I found out yesterday I refused to believe it! I wouldn’t except it and to be honest I still don’t quite believe it’s real. I love you and the energy between us was always genuine. Working with you was always a blast and you were always the coolest man in the room. Till we meet again my friend. – CORY LEE Terribly sad to hear about Jahmil’s passing. Whether I was his scene partner, or just a viewer, I was in awe of his sheer talent. A room was brighter because he was in it. A true performer, a great guy and a huge loss. #RestInPeace – JUSTIN KELLY I’m so shocked and saddened to hear this news about Jahmil. Jahmil was and is such a kind, fun loving, hilarious, full of life, hard working and professional person. He was my first real scene partner on a series I got to be a series regular on. I remember the day my agent sent me the casting for Degrassi. It said I would be playing Dave Turners love interest. So the first thing I did was pull up the good ol IMDB machine and find out who Jahmil French was. The same day as my audition a few mere hours later I got the call that the role was mine (pretty rare in this industry) I went in to do my fitting and thats when I met Jahmil, Spencer and AJ for the first time as they played an iconic trio on the show. They were all super friendly and nice to me and made me feel very welcomed to be joining the cast. I was nervous and 15 at the time. Jahmil was the integral glue that held the circle together and its would lead to an amazing friendship that I got to have with Spencer. I had only been slated to do 3 episodes on the show but I believe it was the on screen chemistry Jahmil and I had that lead me to stick around for longer. Jahmil always had a smile on his face. I would come in at 5am for our call to do prep and be so tired, but there he was hanging out in the green room dancing so full of energy and life. Jahmil LOVED dancing and he was really good at it too. And I’d ask him “How do you even have this much energy this early LOL” and he’d just laugh and smile. Any time we went down to block he’d be word perfect on his lines, hit every mark and bring such an amazing professionalism to the set it was mesmerizing to watch. He played every scene with a new beat that always kept it interesting and fresh. Jahmil was and still is such a kind hearted dedicated person who eventually really went on to flourish in his career and he will be deeply missed. Heaven really gained a new angel today, Rest In Peace and say hey to all the other pals up there. Spencer and I will pour one out for you - ALEXX BENOIT Rest in peace my guy. An amazingly talented actor who had such a presence on and off screen. – DEMETRIUS JOYETTE Jahmil was such a wonderful person to be around. so funny, so charismatic, so talented. and my god he loved his work. I’m devasted. Sending my love to his friends and family. In a year full of grief, it’s hard to comprehend how there can be room for more. And yet. Jahmil French was an incredible person, so full of talent and passion for his work. He lit up a room with his energy and dance moves. An easy smile and a natural charisma. He will be so missed. My heart is broken. I feel strange, announcing these things I wish I had told him more often. Reached out more often. The regret is acute. He deserved his flowers when he was here. I hope he knew how much love & admiration there was for him in this world. – AISLINN PAUL One of the most talented, kind hearted, funny spirits I’ve had the pleasure of building a friendship with. Jahmil is an icon. My love for him runs deep. Jahmil you will always hold such a special place in my heart. Thank you for being one of the most talented, compassionate, kindest, funniest friends I have. You were so loved. I’ll miss our dance offs. #Bhandurner forever. Jah literally won the title of most competitive goofball. What joy he brought to my life and to so many. So grateful for memories and deep convos with you, beautiful angel. Blessed that we got to be part of a big dysfunctional family together. Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. I just hope you knew how loved you were. I learnt so much working with this talented dedicated soul. Please send a prayer for his soul to go directly toward the light. – MELINDA SHANKAR Such a beautiful soul & a light to everyone around him. Rest in Paradise Jahmil. – JOELLE FARROW This moment will live in my mind forever. A beautiful soul, thank you for the years of memories and laughter. You’re a light my brother and I’m so happy we got to experience this crazy life together. I’ll always remember you dancing down the halls of the green room. Rest In Peace. – LUKE BILYK I’m devasted. My man, I swear I was just thinking about you not even a few days ago when I was making my new demo reel, watching all the old Degrassi episodes. So talented. So unbelievably wise beyond your years. You made one of the best times of my life even better. I’m so crushed. I should have called you. I dont deserve to miss you as much as I do now. I would always say my favourite actor on the show was Mr. Jahmil French. I would always watch his parts when going thru Degrassi material to either study my tech or to cut demos or whatever else. Not 4 days ago was I daydreaming about making some kind of new production with all of those talented people. My hearts broken. – DANIEL KELLY Jahmil was always the brightest light in the room. Smiling, dancing and making all of us laugh till we cried. Rest In Peace you beautiful soul. You will be missed… - ALICIA JOSIPOVIC This is absolutely heartbreaking. While I never worked directly with Jahmil on Degrassi, our paths did cross a few times. All you needed was 5 minutes with him to realize what a beautiful, talented, bright soul he was. My sincerest condolences to his family and loved onces. Rest In Peace Jahmil French. – ANA GOLJA Shocked & saddened to hear of Jahmil’s passing. Loss of such a talented and bright soul. Rest in Power cuz, I’ll pour one out for you, am so wishing this was a dream. – JAJUBE MANDIELA I join thousands of people around the world thinking about Jahmil today. A beautiful, joyful person to be on set with, truly intimidating on the dance floor, an all-around wonderful person to have known, gone just way, way too soon. Sending love to everyone who loved him. Jahmil, I hope you feel it too. – CHARLOTTE ARNOLD I didn’t know Jahmil very well, but in the few times we met, he was so explosively kind, charismatic and truly interested and invested in every interaction. I immediately felt accepted and got a sense of the deep compassion that so many others had expressed was within him. The impression I had always stuck with me and from all I have heard he was such a beautiful and loving person, the special kind that makes everything a little lighter. Thank you to everyone who has been sharing stories of their time with him. Sending love to Jahmil and all of you. – ERIC OSBORNE Jahmil was such a special human. A long-time acting student of mine, & my mentee. He was fearless and brilliant in his pursuit, and I’m so sad we won’t get to see more of his gift. I’m so grateful to have crossed paths with him, and I wish him eternal peace. – SALVATORE ANTONIO So sad to hear of Jahmil’s passing. He was so kind and so funny. I’m glad I had the chance to know him. You will be missed. Rest in Power Jahmil. Gone too soon. Will never be forgotten. – TAYSHA FULLER Even though I only worked with Jahmil for a little while he made a truly lasting impression. I remember when I first came back to set as Tori and I was incredibly nervous those first few weeks, but Jahmil was so welcoming and treated me and the other new cast members like we’d been a part of the cast the whole time. If he gave you a compliment or even said something as simple as “it’s so good to see you” you knew he genuinely meant it. It seems like a small thing but it’s hard to find that kind of authentic honesty in most people. He was an incredibly talented actor and always such a positive energy on set, and I’ll remember him for all those vibrant moments. Rest In Peace. – ALEXA STEELE This smile. This spark. This spirit. Jah I am missing you from this earthly plane we all love you. – MEGAN FERGUSON there never seems to be enough time… I don’t know if words can describe someone like Jah. He really was too special for this world. A true artist to his soul. I was lucky to call him my friend. Rest in Peace and Power Angel. you will be so dearly missed. – PAUL JAMES I guess I thought if I refrained from making a post, it would ease some of the pain.. but the more hours that pass, the more it sets in heavier. JAH. Mi familia. My brother. I am crushed. I have believed in you since the moment we met, and it makes me smile to know the feeling was 100% reciprocated. The purest soul. Always himself no matter WHERE he went. It takes courage to be that way you know? To have that strength. From Antigone to degrassi, to LA to NY you had EVERYTHING in you to shine. All the power, all the talent, all the intelligence the drive, the fearlessness. Your smile made me smile. Sweeterman jah, I miss you so much already. – SHANICE BANTON Dance on, old friend -through the clouds. I will see you on the other side. click here for the full post – SHANNON KOOK

#jahmil french #this took me forever but i wanted to make it pretty #he will be forever missed #:(#edit*#degrassi #idk why the scroll box isn’t showing up sigh I apologize for it being so long #dave turner

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jebazzled · 3 years

Text

troubleshooting: common quandaries and thots to overcome

It's no surprise that people whose major hobby involves writing, the internet, and fandom are often people who carry a lot of anxiety and tension around with them. For many of us, writing is something we do to escape, relax, unwind, and flex creative muscles we might not get to use at work or school. I get it.

For many of us, however, it also seems like forum rp is a stressor, a cause of great anxiety and insecurity. We've all seen or known people who go through a major rp-related crisis.

Sometimes, these crises are truly major - catastrophic falling-outs and permanently damaging rumor mills and etc etc. But a lot of the time? Well. It's not that it's "in your head," because obviously what you are feeling is very valid. But I think sometimes the way we think of internet spaces fuels dysfunctional thinking.

This isn't quite a tutorial; it's more in the vein of my tough love re: writer's block. I'm going to talk through some common scenarios, anxieties, and other issues I see in the rp community, and offer my (fully unsolicited) thoughts and advice. As always, your mileage may vary, but I'm trying!

Topics covered, because this one is a LONGBOI:

Insecurity & thread reactions

Insecurity & completionism/ Being Liked

Jealousy (especially ship-related)

The server is not therapy.

So here's the thing about the internet: for better or worse, it's for everyone.

On the far end of the spectrum, this means that the internet is a great incubator for toxic garbage. See: right-wing radicals, etc. But for most of us, this means that there is room on the internet for weird little me and my weird little hobby. You can find a community to talk about virtually any interest. You, for example, found the rp community.

So here's the thing about the internet: for better or worse, it's for everyone. This means that while you can find a community to talk about virtually any interest, you are never going to find a community that is completely without flaws.

There will always be people who annoy you, rub you the wrong way, or who you think are mean-spirited and negative. There will always be someone you don't get along with. There will always be people who disagree with you.

I have been in servers where members come to me time and time again to complain about other members, as though I am going to boot someone for wanting to talk about x just because they, personally, are sick of hearing about x. I am not going to tell someone to change their personality because someone else, personally, finds it annoying.

Offline, you wouldn't tell your manager at Starbucks to fire Susie because you don't like talking to her. You would simply not talk to her outside of a professional context. You would simply not take your break at the same time as her. You would simply not make small talk with her when the store is quiet and would instead, like, read the liner notes on whatever CD is at the register. (Does Starbucks still sell CDs?)

There will always be people in your community who you do not like and whose logic does not make sense to you. If they are not doing anything genuinely abusive, they have as much right to be in your community as you do. There is, in fact, likely someone in your community who finds you somewhat annoying. C'est la vie.

A community is not an environment custom-curated to your exact specifications. It is a community. You are not entitled to it being perfect. You are entitled to a space free from harassment and bigotry. If the space is free from harassment and bigotry and you cannot enjoy the space because someone else in it is existing harmlessly in a way that you dislike or find irritating, you have the option to leave the community. Discord server links are not a binding contract!

This is all to say: I think a lot of us expect far more of our online communities than is fair. Remember that every single person in your server is an individual human being with an interior life as rich as your own, and a list of neuroses possibly as extensive. None of them, yourself included, are perfect.

Oh, speaking of that list of neuroses! Let's tackle it, babe.

Your neuroses are not anyone else's problem.

It is on you to work through and overcome your anxieties and insecurities.

It is kind of other people to accommodate your growth, or to modify their behavior so as not to trigger your anxieties and insecurities. They are by no means required to do so.

Note: they do need to respect your triggers, if you have them and list them.

So here we go: troubleshooting frequent freak-outs. Buckle up!!!

Insecurity & thread reactions (or lack thereof)

Some people experience a lot of anxiety and insecurity around how their writing partners react to their threads. This might surface in the form of feeling unappreciated/disliked if the thread partner doesn't drop an emoji react on the link in your server's tag channel, or in feeling like no one likes your writing because they aren't swooning over it in #affirmations/ #thread-shoutouts/ #quotables/ etc.

You are serving as both texters in this meme.

So... you don't actually know what's going on with your thread partner at any given moment, you know? Personally, here are some possible scenarios with me as your thread partner:

You tag me and I put a passage from your post in #thread-shoutouts: I am at my desk, on my computer, not engaged in active DM conversation with anyone, and your post either made me cackle or it made me emo

You tag me and I DM you to gush about it: there's a lot happening in the server right now/ I don't want to derail a public conversation

You tag me and I react with an emoji: I am at date night with my girlfriend and she is in the bathroom. I have had time to read your post. I probably haven't put it in my tracker and will try and remember later, when I find it in one of 100 tabs open on Safari on my phone.

You tag me and I don't react at all: I am swamped with work and read your post in between emails. Instead of taking a second to react I immediately jumped into my tracker to log your reply, and now I am back to emails.

You'll notice none of these rationales are: "I don't react at all because I dislike you as a human." "I actively chose to quote Susie in #thread-shoutouts and not you because I want to hurt you." "I don't DM you about our thread because I hate our thread."

It doesn't have to be that deep! Stop hurting yourself. Let yourself assume the kindest option. After all, don't you want people to assume the best of you, too?

If your thread partners know you value emoji reacts or thread shoutouts, it is kind of them to do them. But it isn't inherently unkind for them not to, either. You're better off trying to kick that need for public validation.

Overview for addressing thread reaction insecurity:

If your server has a thread shoutout/quotables/etc channel, mute it. Don't look at it. Stop giving yourself something to fixate on.

When you are worried that someone hates a thread because they aren't giving emoji reacts, instead of building a narrative in your head that may or may not be true - communicate! "What beats do you want us to make sure we hit in this thread?" is a good introductory question to see if a thread is doing something for either or both of you, and gives your partner a chance to say something if they do want it to go in a different direction and would be more excited.

If someone is continuing to write with you, regardless of whether they post an emoji, it is probably because they enjoy writing with you!

Be deliberate about your thread premises! In my experience, threads done "just because" without a specific purpose (e.g. building chemistry between ship partners, introducing a subplot about a cursed hairbrush, kidnapping a house elf) are the first to lose steam and lose interest. It's entirely possible that someone likes you, likes writing with you, and simply doesn't prioritize this thread above their others because there's nothing meaningful to prioritize!

Keep your eyes on your own paper and stop reading so much into what other people do or don't do. It's probably not that deep!

Insecurity & completionism/ Being Liked

You would not be the first person to exacerbate their own problems because of a sense of duty to the spirit of completionism. Here's the thing, friend:

You do not need to write with every member.

You do not need to plot with every character.

You do not need to be in every subplot.

You do not need to have a character in every member group.

People fall into this trap thinking that if they can be everything to everyone, it will make them popular/important/beloved/a truly included member of the site.

But quantity is not the same as quality. You might have a thread with every character onsite but if half those threads are under a "they're on the same bus" premise, then yeah, people aren't going to want to keep up with that thread, and it's going to contribute to your thread reaction anxiety!

Write characters you are excited about. But more importantly: write plots you are excited about. Write threads you are excited about. You can be friends with people in your server without writing with them! You are better off writing a smaller number of really well-plotted, juicy plots that everyone involved feels heavily invested in than in writing a lot of watery threads for the sake of writing with every single person. It's hard to believe, but many people would rather NOT have a thread and wait until there's a juicy reason to than write a thread that doesn't have any development relevance simply for the sake of it.

If you're finding that it's hard to find juicy or plot-driven reasons to thread with many people, that might be a hint to write different types of characters. While yes, people exist who are very self-contained and isolated, the purpose of rp isn't to be a direct mirror of real life. It's to have fun while writing with other people. If your character is not fun to write with other people, they are probably not a good fit for an rp setting.

RP is not a popularity contest. This is not high school. No one is voting for prom queen. Be kind and be open to ideas and collaboration and people will like you. People will enjoy writing with you! People might even go out of their way to write with you. And they will be writing things that matter to both of you. That's winning, dude.

You might be tempted to pinpoint a "popular group" in the server and fix your sights on becoming one of them. This is also a failing proposition: often the "popular group" you might first identify is incorrect, and you are mistaking "exclusivity" for "importance." Sometimes sites have a small, tight-knit group with intricate inter-group plots and a very visibly closed-off dynamic. Since that dynamic mirrors the popular girls you were raised watching in teen movies, I can understand why you would assume that these people are the most important people to befriend on a site. They're not. They're cliquey and exclusive, and trying to get them to make room for you when they have intentionally and performatively set themselves aside from many other members is like... lmao, dude, it's not going to work.

Not only that, but the fact that these people are hard to pin down? It's not a selling point! The most beloved members on any site are not the ones who make you beg for a scrap of their attention. The most beloved members are the people who are friendly and kind. THAT is who you want to Get In with.

Overview for addressing completionism tendencies and "what if I'm Left Out" woes:

This is not a popularity contest, and you are a grown up. Focus on having fun and enjoying writing. That is not something you can do if your first priority is Getting In with the people you think are a site's "Popular Crowd."

You do not need to be everything to everyone. You cannot be everything to everyone.

In fact, everyone will appreciate you more if you do less and you do it well.

Focus on the positive. Who cares if Susie and Sally won't write with you? Sarah and Sam love writing with you! Yes, it would make sense for Susie to plot with you because your characters work together - but again, this is a hobby, not real life, and if you and Susie don't vibe, your characters don't need to interact! Why write with people who make you feel insecure? Trick question; there's NO reason to!

I understand the drive to be well-liked. Trust! I, too, desperately want to be well-liked. You'll have better luck if you don't try so hard. Be yourself and make friends with people who genuinely like you. Stop worrying about what the site's yearbook will look like. There isn't going to be a fucking yearbook.

Jealousy (especially ship-related)

Do you ever find yourself feeling a spike of anxiety or resentment when one of your favorite writing partners writes with someone else?

This reaction is especially common where ships are concerned: when one partner writes AU ships with their character, or has a plot with their character's previous partners before their OTP, etc.

It's a bit territorial, and it's not a good look, friends!

Your writing partners get to write with other people. How much they enjoy writing with other people has nothing to do with how much they enjoy writing with you. How much they write with other people has nothing to do with you. What they write has nothing to do with you. It's not all about you!

It truly doesn't matter how anxious you feel when your writing partners write with other people. They are entitled to write with whoever they want! What makes you nervous about them writing with other people?

In a forum rp environment, the best way to secure fulfilling, satisfying character arcs for your character is to plot with multiple others. That includes you, on both fronts: your writing partner needs you for their character's development as much as you need them! They aren't going to just stop writing with you arbitrarily.

If they do stop writing with you, there is probably a reason! Are they still on the site? Are they still writing? Are they going through something in real life that might impact their muse? There could be a hundred reasons why they are writing more with Susie now than they were with you, and they could be anything from "Susie is out of town this week so I want to give her a lot of replies to come home to" to "a ladder fell on my head and I am recovering from a concussion" to, possibly, "your territorial behavior makes me uncomfortable, and I would rather write with people who do not make me feel bad about writing with other people."

This behavior is especially weird in a ship context, and is something worth unpacking. When you write ships, do you resent/get anxious about your ship partner writing AU ship threads? About their character having previous partners? About their character having crushes that they do not act on?

An AU ship is an alternate universe specifically because it is not real. Susie and Sally shacking up in a space AU has no bearing over whether or not Susie and Marco end up together as finals.

Just like human beings have romantic history, it makes sense for characters to have romantic history, and these plots give your writing partner an opportunity to write plots that they might not get with you. For example, your writing partner might want to write a breakup plot with weird friendship tensions, which might not be a relevant vibe for Susie and Marco. But your partner can explore that with Marco and Sally. Again: it's not all about you, and your writing partner gets to write what they want, and you do, too.

Sometimes I think we can trace the territorial side of ship-oriented plotting to toxic monogamy culture, as described here. Particularly relevant are the below:

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

Your writing partner is not cheating on your ship by giving their character other ships. If it feels that way to you, you are getting too emotionally invested, and you should probably back off of ship-oriented plotting for a while to unpack why you are feeling this way.

That said, of course be clear about boundaries. This applies both to M-rated content and to parameters of plotting. For example, you might tell your partner that you are not interested in a plot whose core conflict is "will they or won't they." You want to write these characters with the longevity of their relationship never in doubt. You might not want a plot where one character is cheating on the other. You might want these characters to be monogamous. That's fair! It's not fair for you to expect your writing partner to limit the plots they do that do not actually involve your character to avoid triggering your insecurities.

Overview for dealing with jealousy:

It's not all about you! Your writing partners deserve to have a good time as much as you deserve to have a good time. They can enjoy writing with you AND writing with someone else.

Be very clear with your boundaries. If there are plots between your character and another character that you cannot write, let your partner know before they accidentally step in a minefield.

Be willing to step away from ships. There are plenty of plots that do not involve ships. If ships make you a jealous and anxious mess, you should stop writing ships and work on that journey. It is more important to be a good writing partner than it is to write romantic ships.

Writing is such a personal thing, and we all of course connect very deeply to our characters - it only makes sense that we be invested in their outcomes! But if your gut reaction is one of jealousy, this is something that you need to work on, not something your writing partners should need to tiptoe around.

The server is not therapy.

Because rp is an online hobby, it can be easy to forget that every person you interact with in the server or forum is also a whole ass person on the other side of the screen. Which is to say, your rp friends do not exist to be your emotional support.

Of course they can be supportive - some of my closest friends are people I have met through rp! But online as in real life, you need to remember that everyone is always going through something. You are never the only person in the world who needs support, and you need to be thoughtful in how you engage with your friends here.

Do you listen when they share their problems, or do you immediately change the subject to talk more about your own? Do they not share their problems at all - is this a one-sided close friendship? Are the majority of your DMs to them seeking comfort, advice, affirmation, validation?

If you need a text-based counseling service, BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist. A therapist is a person whose job is to listen and ask nothing from you for their own personal emotional needs.

Your friends - online as in real life - are not therapists. They will not always have the bandwidth to help you. They will not always feel comfortable helping you. The internet breeds a sense of intimacy, the idea that regular chat conversation makes for a deep knowledge of another person. And of course this is sometimes the case! But in many cases, the person you are asking for psychoanalysis in the DMs on Discord doesn't actually know you very well. And if you have been relying on them for emotional support, you might be wearing them out.

Overview for not treating your rp friends like therapists:

Be thoughtful. If you have something heavy you want to talk about, first ask if they have the bandwidth. For example: "Hi Susie! Do you have the energy to give me some advice on x work issue?"

Listen. If your friend wants to talk about their issues, stop thinking about how you can relate and it sounds just like that time you... and just LISTEN. If you want to offer advice, keep it about them. If you don't know how to help, commiserate. "That's rough, buddy."

Self-check. Look at your chat history as though it's between your friend and someone you've never met. What do you think of this person? Are they a good listener? Do they reciprocate the support they get from your friend? Do they remember things your friend tells them about their own life? Or is this a one-sided conversation? If you're realizing that you're leaning too much on this friend, give them some space. If you're realizing you've gone way overboard leaning on this friend, maybe apologize and promise to be more conscientious going forward.

Be considerate. Remember that every person you know from the internet is so much more than what you've seen - I don't mean that in a "all internet users are creeps" way, I mean that in a "even if you've chatted in a server with some every day for six months, you still don't actually know them super well." Think of other people you've spent Some Time with. Think of your lab partner in 8th grade bio. You shared a desk with them for an hour a day five days a week for two thirds of the year. How much of your life did you share with them?

This tutorial got LONG - sorry, friends! Lots to talk about. I'm always happy to give Real TalksTM like this one. Feel free to drop into my askbox if you have a topic you'd like me to cover. I'm full of thoughts and feelings, and it would give me great joy for y'all to ask for them for once.

I hope this is helpful, and wish all y'all the best. Happy writing!

#rp guides #resources

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thesassenachswiftie · 3 years

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Lover - Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”

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Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12

Summary: Claire and Jo go Christmas shopping; Claire gets a call at work that Lamb’s in the hospital in Boston where she fears she will need to spend the holidays without Jamie. In short: angst, but make it festive.

" This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to

Ooh-ah, you'll get better..."

CW: cancer, hospitals, illness of a loved one,

Notes: First of all, if you’re still here, thank you for reading, and thank you for bearing with me as I took a small hiatus. Hopefully I will be getting back to a more regular posting schedule, but work is really draining right now and it’s hard to find enough hours in the day to do everything.

As you know, each Chapter of this fic is based off a Taylor Swift song by the same name. This one was particularly difficult to write/approach because I actually haven’t listened to this song in over a year. In early Summer 2019, a tumor was found on my grandfather’s brain. This was also the summer I discovered Outlander, and the summer Taylor Swift released Lover. The day after Lover came out, I broke down sobbing in my apartment listening to this song and thinking about my grandfather, knowing his condition was worsening. That night, I recieved the call that my grandfather had passed. He was the kindest, purest soul and I write this chapter in part as a tribute to him. Many of the experiences Claire and Lamb share are based on my own experiences with my grandpa that summer, and this version of Lamb is very much based on my Grandpa Jim.

That being said, you may want to grab a box of tissues before reading, but hopefully not all your tears will be sad. I’m hoping to post again before Chistmas, but in case I don’t Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays--and Happy Hanukkah to any Jewish readers I may have--here is a Hanukkah present for you!

Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”

“All I want for Christmas is yooouuuuu” the sounds of Mariah Carey rang out throughout the small boutique gift shop in the heart of the village of Northport.

“Good God, we’re only a week into December and I swear I’ve already heard this song three hundred times. I’m not exaggerating either. Two hundred and eight-four at the very least.” Jo scoffed exasperatedly.

“Are you complaining?” Claire asked in reply. “It’s a great song--a classic really.”

“Do you know how many incredible, amazing, beautiful, jolly Christmas songs there are in existence?” Jo was gearing up for one of their famous rants, “Yet, the radio stations only ever play the same eighteen songs, I swear!”

“It must be more than eighteen.”

“Fine. Twenty. Take this song for instance: Ingrid Michaelson has the most hauntingly beautiful cover of it--do you ever hear it? No! You only ever hear Mariah!”

“I, for one, like Mariah!” Claire interjected, playfully defensive.

“Who doesn’t? But she’s not the only powerhouse female vocalist out there! I’d just like to see a little diversity in my holiday music, is that so much to ask?”

Claire giggled. Her best friend always had an opinion on everything and she loved them all the more for it. “Do you think Jenny would like this candle?” Claire unscrewed the lid a locally-made jar candle, taking a sniff before placing it under Jo’s nose. It smelled like Lavender and Sage with just a hint of Eucalyptus.

“Does Jenny keep a lot of candles around, with all those children?” Jo chuckled back. “It does smell nice though.” Jo had only met Jenny a couple times when visiting Claire, but they had a knack for reading people and Claire was glad to have them along as a shopping partner.

“I suppose candles aren’t really her thing. Jenny seems very practical, but I don’t know what she would need that she doesn’t already have, and Jamie’s been no help!”

“I think you’re on the right track with the self-care/relaxation vibe, but maybe not something the children can use to burn the house down. What about an artisanal lotion set?” Jo inquired, gesturing at a nearby display.

“Oh that might work!” Claire took a squirt from the bottle labeled ‘tester’ inhaling deeply as she rubbed it between her palms. “Ooo that’s nice, I would appreciate this if I were a hardworking mother.”

“If things keep going the way they are with your man, LJ, you might just be before you know it” Jo made a lewd gesture with their hands, raising their eyebrows to make it clear exactly what they were implying.

“Jo! You’re terrible” Claire shrieked, smacking her friend playfully on the arm. Besides, not much of that happening these days if you haven’t noticed, Jamie is literally across the ocean.”

“Well, at least you can’t get knocked up from phone sex,” Jo replied. “What are you getting him anyway? I’m thinking something lacy and strappy, with little bows on it of course, to be festive. There’s a place down the street that might have something like that.”

“Hmm” Claire exhaled. “We’ll see.” Claire knew lingerie was definitely going to be part of Jamie’s Christmas gift, one she would be most excited for him to unwrap. God, she missed him. It had been over a month and they were settling into a routine, video chatting every night, sweet texts back and forth throughout the day, the occasional phone sex when they were both sick with desire for one other--but nothing was the same as the feel of their bodies pressed against each other in the heat of the moment, chasing each other’s climax. Claire couldn’t wait to be reunited with him in every way.

It was two days before Christmas break, only a few days left until Claire would find freedom for the next ten days and, most of all--the comfort of Jamie’s arms. Claire was sitting in her school nurse’s office, inhaling deeply during the first quiet moments she’d had all week. There was an uptick of student visits in the past couple weeks--a few were legitimate concerns tied to cold and flu season: students whose parents sent them to school when they weren’t quite well enough, overachievers who wanted to maintain their perfect attendance dragging themselves to school despite their bodies protestations. Most of her patients however, were suffering from something much more insidious: the eagerness to start their winter break early by skipping their classes. This time of year the air of the school felt different, students and teachers alike were burnt out, apathetic, and ready for a break. This attitude in the students fed into the teachers’ attitudes--overworked with the end of the marking period, trying to squeeze in Christmas shopping and decorating between grading. Claire did not envy Jo nor any of the other teachers during this time, but their exhaustion was so palpable in the air of the school that she was starting to feel it too. By tomorrow, most teachers would be shutting their doors and playing a holiday film, giving up on instruction all together--hopefully that would make for a quiet day for Claire. Really, if she could just get through the rest of the day it would be smooth sailing until Christmas--until Jamie.

Her silent musings were broken by the blaring sound of her office phone. She was expecting a teacher, calling to send a student down, but instead it was the school clerk, Glenda. “Hi Nurse Beauchamp, we have an outside call for you, it seems like it may be a personal call so if there’s any students with you we can send someone down to watch them if you’d like to take it privately here in the office.”

Claire's heart sank to her stomach. What could it be? She took a deep breath and swallowed to brace herself before replying “last student just left.”

“Alright, I’ll transfer you now.” The click of the call transferring sounded through the phone.

“Hello, this is Miss Beauchamp”

“Hello Miss Beauchamp, I’m Tammy, a nurse at Mass General we’re calling because you’re listed as the emergency contact for Quentin Beauchamp” a nasally voice croaked through the phone speaker--the voice was impersonal like that of a cashier saying “have a nice day” for the thousandth time, not fitting of a potential harbinger of death.

“Yes…” Claire replied, nervously, questioningly.

“Mr. Lambert was admitted this morning after showing signs of cognitive distress. An initial cat scan shows a mass on his brain. He’s currently undergoing testing to see if it’s cancerous.”

Claire’s lungs felt like they were about to collapse. Lamb had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago, but had been able to live with it through treatment. Claire also knew that cancer was insidious and could spread throughout the body rapidly and without warning. She knew it was very likely that the mass was cancer. She tried to find her medical professional voice, but a diagnosis was different when it was someone you loved. Instead, she croaked out, “when will you know?”

“We should have the results by tomorrow. He’ll stay here overnight for monitoring and we’ll decide whether to admit him long term from there.”

“I’m on Long Island, should I drive up?”

“I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell, it could be nothing, but--” Claire cut her off, knowing exactly how bad it could be.

“I understand. I’ll drive up this evening.”

“Alright, he should be back in his room by then, he’s out getting his tests done now. It’s room 713 when you get here.” Claire wrote the number on a bright blue sticky note on her desk as the nurse spoke. “Have a nice day Ms. Beauchamp”

“Hmm” was all she could reply, as if she could possibly have a nice day. She hung up the phone, and finally let the deluge of tears she’d been holding back free.

She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes to get it out, but she knew she had to get to Boston as soon as possible. She picked up the phone again and dialed the main office.

“Hi Glenda, it’s Claire. I need to take the rest of the day off--I have to go to Boston, my uncle…” she couldn’t say it out loud for fear of unleashing the tears again “Is Principal Gowan there, I need to let him know.”

“Oh Nurse Beauchamp, I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if you need anything. Mr. Gowan’s in his office, I’ll transfer you to him now, if he doesn’t answer just pack up your things and go, I’ll take care of it”

“Thanks Glenda, I really appreciate it”

----------

After getting the ok from her kind and understanding principal, Claire rushed back to Jamie’s apartment, hastily packed a bag (likely forgetting several things), informed Jenny where she was going--which was met with sympathy and genuine concern--and hopped back in the car for the journey to Boston. She entered the hospital doors several hours later, the buttons of her coat were tangled in her hair as she rushed, breathless, to the front desk to receive her visitor’s pass.

When she arrived at Lamb’s room, he was asleep. She didn’t want to wake him, but she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze to let him know she was there before settling into the armchair beside him to await his awakening. He looked so frail and small in the hospital bed, not at all like the strong, spirited man who had raised her. He had left the television on--some sports channel was playing a highlight reel of various golfing moments. No wonder Lamb fell asleep. Claire was staring at the screen, but her thoughts were elsewhere: worried about Lamb, wondering if she’d remember everything when she hastily packed, wondering what the future held. Would she have to spend Christmas in this hospital room? A golf ball soared across the Scottish Highlands on the screen. Jamie. Jamie was coming home Christmas Eve, she was supposed to pick him up from the airport, supposed to spend her holiday break with him, experience her first Hogmanay with the Murray family, be surrounded by love and laughter and family. Lamb was supposed to be fine, he was supposed to take the train down, spend Christmas with them. Every plan they had made was shattered into a million pieces. Would she even be able to see Jamie? She thought about the presents she’d bought for him, not yet wrapped, piled in the closet but definitely not hidden, especially considering it was his apartment. Of course he’d understand--she could tell him where they were, but the magic of unwrapping would be lost, it would feel entirely unsentimental. It was bad enough that she felt her gifts weren’t sentimental enough--what could she possibly get him to show how special he was to her? How could she communicate that with an object? If she were a painter she would paint him a painting, if she were a songwriter she would write him a song, but she was simply Claire, and practical gifts were all she knew. She had purchased a cozy blue sweater to match his eyes and keep him warm in the brisk London winters, a cool multi-tool the size of a credit card that would fit in his wallet and help him solve a variety of problems, a protective case for his phone, and a box of artisanal beef jerky. She had also procured a complicated piece of lingerie with a big red bow across the chest for him to unwrap the night of Christmas, which she knew he would enjoy. Everything was thoughtful enough and mostly practical, but she longed to be able to give him something truly special--a grand gesture to match her feelings for him. Claire glanced back at her uncle and immediately felt guilty being so selfish. I hate to make this all about me. Lamb always had a knack for helping her realize what was important when life’s situations overwhelmed her. She needed him for perspective, but how could she talk to him about this? How could she tell him how she felt? She knew it was wrong, but she was mad at him for getting sick so close to Christmas. Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there’s no you? The tears were welling up in her eyes as she watched her most beloved uncle sleep--hooked up to machines, pale and listless in the hospital bed.

Claire slipped into the adjoining bathroom to try to compose herself--she didn’t want her uncle to wake up and see her upset, she knew he would try to comfort her, to be the rock he always had been for her. She was here to be his rock this time, she needed to stay strong for him. She looked at herself in the mirror, telling herself it was going to be ok--her uncle was strong and he’d been fighting a long time--he’d continue to fight. Soon you’ll get better. She had to convince herself it was true, pretend it wasn’t real, it wasn’t so bad. She knew it was a delusion, she could see it all over her glass face when she looked in the mirror. She was genuinely afraid that this could be when she lost him, if not physically right away, he could be lost mentally. She’d been hoping for years he would get better, but now it seemed he’d taken a turn for the worse. She took a few deep breaths and offered up a prayer. She wasn’t usually religious, but they say desperate people find faith, so she decided it was time to try. God? Jesus? Whoever is up there. I know I don’t much deserve anything from you, I’m not sure I’m exactly on good terms with you, but I’m inclined to believe you care and you are good. Besides, I’m not really asking anything for myself, not really. I just pray my Uncle is ok, I pray he gets better. He has to. Please don’t take his brilliant mind away from him. Please let him be ok. Please, I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever it takes to help him. Just please, please, don’t take him away from me. I need him. Please let him get better. Please let him get better. Claire continued to repeat the words like a mantra as she returned to her bedside chair. She stared at the collection of orange bottles on the tray table. Please let them help him get better. Please let him get better. Please, please, please let him get better.

Claire had no idea how long she sat there, repeating those words to herself, but her silent appeal was interrupted when a nurse entered the room to check her uncle’s vitals.

“Hi, I’m Brenda, I’ll be the nurse on duty tonight.” Brenda erased a name on a small whiteboard in front of the room and replaced it with her own.

“I’m Claire, I’m his niece.”

Brenda had made her way over to the other side of the bed and was checking the monitors beside the bed, making notes on the chart in her hand. “I hate waking them up, but I’m going to have to.” Claire was glad that she was much kinder than the nurse she had spoken with on the phone earlier—had that really been earlier? It seemed much longer since that phone call. “Excuse me, Quentin? Sir?” Brenda gently nudged his arm to awaken him. Lamb’s eyes fluttered open and he looked disoriented, Claire watched him carefully hoping that his disorientation was solely from being awoken mid-sleep and not from any neurological damage.

“Hi Uncle Lamb” Claire stammered, hoping she sounded cheerful anyway.

“Claire! My girl! You came all the way to see your old uncle!”

“Of course I did! How are you?” she replied warmly.

“Oh, I’m fine, they’re taking good care of me here.” Lamb’s voice sounded genuinely content and Claire felt comforted for the first time since the hospital had called her earlier that day.

“Hello sir, my name’s Brenda, I’ll be your nurse tonight. I just need to ask you a few questions and check your vitals.”

“What is your name?”

“Quentin Lambert Beauchamp”

“Good. When is your birthday?

“March 23th, 1939”

“Good, and who is the president?”

“Well, unfortunately…” both Claire and Brenda giggled at how Lamb began his sentence. Claire was well aware of Lamb’s opinions of the current president of the United States, and was glad to see he hadn’t lost his sly sense of humor or his disdain for the man. She was also glad he knew who the president was, hopefully his mental capacities were more promising than the worst-case-scenario her mind was conjuring.

----------

Claire stayed by her uncle’s side for the rest of the night, only leaving the room twice, once to find something to eat from a vending machine, and once for her nightly call to Jamie. She allowed herself to break down when talking to Jamie, sobbing over the phone. Jamie did his best to comfort her through the speaker, desperately wishing he could be there for her in person. Claire wished the same, longing to curl up in his strong embrace, and bury her swollen face in his chest. She couldn’t bring up the fact that she might have to spend Christmas in Boston. She was enough of a mess without facing the reality that they wouldn’t see each other, and when Jamie promised they’d see each other soon at the end of their call, Claire hung up quickly as another wave of emotion overtook her and she buried her face in her hands to cry some more.

The next morning, the doctor came in with Lamb’s results. Claire grasped Lamb’s hand, unsure of who was holding onto whom for comfort as the doctor explained that the mass on Lamb’s brain was in fact cancerous, but it was still relatively small and had been caught early. He explained that they could operate on it and remove it, however there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t come back or that they’d be able to get it all out. It was moments like these where Claire desperately wished she was already a surgeon, that she could feel in control of the outcome--though could she operate on her own uncle? Would she be able to hold her hand steady enough to do a good job? No, perhaps it was best left to the veteran surgeons in Boston.

After discussing all the details and options with the doctor’s, Lamb decided to go through with the surgery. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas and Claire resigned herself to the sobering fact that she’d be spending the holidays in the hospital. As the florescent hospital lights lit the room with an unnatural glow, Claire couldn’t tell him she was scared. She had to stay strong, she had to keep it together and remain positive and supportive.

----------

Claire spent the next few days devoted to her uncle, rarely leaving his bedside. Lamb had forced her to spend the nights at his apartment, which was probably for the best. She wasn’t sleeping well to begin with and the recliner at the hospital was only making matters worse. Claire was present and doting on him from morning to night though, helping her uncle order his meals, assisting him when he needed to use the restroom, adding and removing pillows and blankets as needed, or anything else he needed or wanted. Lamb had been moved to the cancer floor, and the window of his new room had a nice view of the Boston skyline. Lamb was making the best of a bad deal, he bragged about his ‘luxury accommodations’, he cracked jokes often, he liked the nicer nurses, he ordered extra dessert with all his meals and was in generally pleasant spirits. Claire could see the cracks in his cognition though. Sometimes he would change the topic he was discussing mid-sentence, and he couldn’t seem to keep time straight. Whenever anyone would mention Christmas, he would act surprised to know that it was coming up, and at one point he hinted at Claire that she might just get those roller skates she wanted for Christmas, a gift she had not asked for since she was eleven years old. He didn’t seem to know what year it was or how old Claire was. He did know who Claire was though, and for that she was thankful. He also knew who the president was whenever the nurses asked, always beginning his answer with a short preamble to make known his disdain.

Before they knew it, it was Christmas Eve and Claire couldn’t hide the sadness she felt on her face. She was glad to spend the evening with Lamb, but she had been looking forward to her first big family Christmas. She had filled in Jamie about Lamb’s condition and her subsequent stay in Boston over the course of their phone calls that week. She had also describe the Christmas gifts she had purchased for the Murrays, Jo, and Lamb, so Jamie would know the rest were for him. Jamie had agreed to put the Murrays gifts in gift bags and distribute them for her. They were meant to exchange family gifts that evening, the morning being reserved for Santa, and Claire was heartbroken to be missing out. In a matter of hours, and for the first time in two months, her and Jamie would be on the same continent, yet they wouldn’t be able to see each other. There was no way Claire could get into the Christmas spirit under these conditions. The hospital, despite being modestly decorated, was not the most festive atmosphere. Even a troop of Girl Scouts caroling their way through the hospital halls did nothing to assuage the weight of losing everything Claire had been looking forward to for the past two months.

“What’s a matter, my dear?” Lamb asked, showing genuine concern for his niece.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I promise, I’m just wishing things were different today.”

“Why today? Is it something special? I can’t seem to remember.”

“It’s Christmas Eve. You were supposed to come to Long Island and meet Jamie. We were going to spend the holiday with his family.”

“Yes, I remember, that’s today? Oh dear, I haven’t gotten your gift yet I’m afraid.”

“That’s fine, Lamb, I’m afraid I left your gift at home, so we’ll have to do that part later. We can take a raincheck on gift exchanging. I was just really looking forward to you getting to know Jamie.”

“I’m sure I’ll meet the lad soon; he seems really special to you.”

“He is; I know you’ll like him.”

“I already do.” He patted the top of her hand and turned his attention back to the sitcom on the television, providing humorous commentary to try to cheer Claire up.

----------

It was late Christmas morning. Uncle Lamb was napping again and Claire had switched the television to the Hallmark Channel--usually her guilty pleasure this season, today it was simply reminding her of how her Christmas was proving to be less than magical. For her there would be no Christmas kisses, no magical snowfall, no saving the small town family business or learning to love Christmas again. All that awaited her this Christmas were fluorescent lights, beeping monitors, and nurses visiting every 6 hours to check her uncle’s vitals. This Christmas would be decidedly the most un-magical she had ever experienced. She had had her share of unconventional Christmases in the past, in fact, she never really was a Christmas person, but it had started to feel special to her when she was living in New York. This Christmas though--this was one she was looking forward to more than ever before. Claire spent most of the morning crying, grieving over all she was missing. She should have spent the morning curled up in Jamie’s arms, watching the children open presents. She could picture the Murray’s living room, trashed with colorful wrapping paper from end to end, each child in their own private world fascinated by their latest favorite toy, Jenny and Ian beaming through tired eyes.

Claire was surprised Jamie hadn’t called her to fill her in on the details yet. He had called yesterday when his plane arrived--groggy and jet-lagged, his communication skills were not the most eloquent, but he tried his best to make her feel better. She hadn’t heard from him at all this morning though, not even a Merry Christmas text. Surely the jet lag would have woken him up as early as the children, and they must have been done opening presents by now. Claire tried to rationalize that Jamie was just spending time with his family, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt and ignored. She thought she was important enough to him that he could take a moment away from his family to at least text her, or to find some way to make her feel included from afar. Had his feelings changed in their months apart? Did coming home to a messy apartment turn him off? Did she find his Christmas gifts and come to think she didn’t care enough to get him something more thoughtful? She thought about calling him, but a mixture of pride and fear kept her from acting first, not to mention she couldn’t stop crying over these sappy Christmas movies.

Suddenly, a voice from the doorway rang through the room, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Claire looked up in confusion, momentarily unable to comprehend her surroundings and the disruption that had just entered them. Santa? No. The tall figure filling the door frame was dressed like Santa, beard and all, but the unmistakable Scottish burr gave away his true identity. If Claire hadn’t already been crying, she certainly was now. Jamie was standing in the doorway, dressed in a Santa suit, carrying a large, blue IKEA bag overflowing with wrapped presents and what appeared to be Christmas decorations.

“What?” Claire could hardly believe he was there, she rose from the chair and the couple met in the middle of the room for a hearty embrace. Claire buried her face in the soft, fluffy suit covering Jamie’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Perhaps the setting wasn’t a snow covered street in a small town, but this was her own Hallmark movie moment--and to be honest, those Hallmark guys had nothing on James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. Jamie held her close, and tight, planting kisses in her curls and whispering softly to her.

“I’m here, mo nighean donn.” He caressed her shoulders with his thumbs, not releasing his embrace in the slightest, breathing in her scent, trying to absorb her fears and pain.

All of the commotion had awoken Uncle Lamb and after witnessing the couples’ embrace for longer than was comfortable, Lamb loudly cleared his throat to remind them of his presence in the room.

“Uncle Lamb!” Claire unfolded herself from Jamie’s embrace, keeping one arm around his back. Jamie sheepishly pulled the fake beard down around his neck to reveal his face and removed his Santa hat, clutching it tightly in the palm that wasn’t holding Claire. “This is Jamie, my Jamie. Jamie, this is my Uncle Lamb.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad it’s not Santa Claus, or we’d have a lot of explaining to do to the lad!” Lamb chuckled back.

“A pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” Jamie reluctantly released Claire from his grasp to step beside the bed, extending a firm but gentle hand to Lamb. “I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”

“Pleased to meet you as well, lad” Lamb replied, patting Jamie’s hand with his before releasing their handshake. “And don’t you worry about me, I have the best nurse there is taking care of me.” Two sets of proudly smiling eyes met Claire across the room.

“Oh I dinna doubt it for a second. Your niece is a rare woman.”

“Glad to see we’re in agreement. Now what’s all that?” Lamb gestured towards the large tote discarded near Claire’s feet.

“Aye, I thought I’d bring you two a bit o’ holiday cheer.” Jamie pulled a large cardboard box from the bag and extracted a small tabletop Christmas tree from it, unfurling each branch carefully and placing it on the countertop across the room, plugging it in to reveal fiber optic lights changing colors dreamily. “I usually insist on my Christmas trees being more, well, alive, but under the circumstances this’ll have tae do.” Jamie and Claire spent the next half hour or so festooning the room in garlands and placing tiny ornaments on the small tree. Claire tried to ignore that more than half of the bag was filled with brightly wrapped gifts, not sure whether she was hoping they were all for her, or hoping that they weren’t. After all, she didn’t have anything to give him and she didn’t know if he had looked through his gifts yet nor if he had appreciated them.

While they decorated, Jamie filled Claire and Lamb in on the events of the last few days. Jamie had called Jenny to tell her not to bother picking him up from the airport. He had planned on renting a car there and driving straight to Boston. Claire could hear Jenny’s voice loud and clear through Jamie’s imitation “ya clotheid! Have ya gone daft? Yer barely able to form coherent sentences amidst the jet lag from yer Christmas Eve flight, and ya wanna drive five hours tae Boston in that state!?! Claire willna appreciate ya ending up in a ditch on the side of the road as a Christmas present ya eejit!” Jenny had made a fair point, and Jamie had agreed to sleep at home and left shortly after he awoke that morning, staying only long enough for the children to open their stockings, and to watch their faces alight with surprise at the sudden appearance of piles of presents under and around the tree.

“I’m glad you took Jenny’s advice, but most of all I’m glad you’re here.” She embraced him again. “You didn’t have to do this though, Jamie, I know how important your family is to you.”

Jamie stepped back and lifted Claire’s chin with his thumb, looking into her eyes. “You are important to me, Sassenach.” he replied, with a sincerity that penetrated Claire’s heart. Claire responded by kissing Jamie chastely on the cheek, knowing her uncle was only four feet away--politely trying to ignore them and watch the television which he had flipped to an all-day marathon of A Christmas Story on repeat. Jamie’s welcome intrusion broke up the monotony of hospital life and seemed to give Lamb a better sense of what day it was.

“Now that we’ve got the place looking good and festive, I believe it’s traditional to exchange gifts on Christmas day.”

“Jamie, it’s too much, I--”

“Oh? Thought they were all for you, didja Sassenach?” he teased. Claire blushed. Of course; she hadn’t really--but who else would they be for? Surely Jamie wouldn’t spoil Lamb, a complete stranger to him, quite so much, and no one else was there. She looked dumbfounded as she tried to come up with a defense but Jamie stopped her. “Dinna fash, Sassenach, Jenny wrapped your gifts for me and Lamb before I could see and I bought them along too. She thanks ya for the wee lotions, by the way.”

“God bless Jenny! That woman is a Saint.” Claire also silently thanked God that she had left the present she was planning on wearing for Jamie that evening in her dresser drawer, that was not a gift she wanted Jenny to see, and was definitely not something she wanted him to be opening in front of her uncle.

The three exchanged gifts, save Lamb, who had nothing to give but smiles and approval for the young couples’ thoughtful gifts. Jamie was genuinely appreciative of Claire’s gifts, although she kept insisting that she hadn’t finished shopping and there was more to come; to which Jamie humbly rejected, claiming it wasn’t necessary. Jamie’s gifts to Claire were thoughtful and meaningful, the most touching ones being a print of a painting of the rose garden he had ordered from the Botanic Garden’s gift shop and a bracelet engraved with the words perennis amor, which caused Claire to tear up and embrace him tenderly in spite of her uncle’s presence.

The three enjoyed the rest of the day thoroughly. A Christmas Story played in the background and they laughed and shared stories with one another. Jamie was a born storyteller and Lamb was elated to have a fresh audience to recount his many adventures to, so conversation flowed naturally between them, with Claire occasionally interjecting. Claire mostly just sat back and admired the two men who were most important to her, filled with joy that they were getting along, that Jamie was there, that it was Christmas. For the first time in several days she had hope and peace. She was surrounded by love in that hospital room as well. She had all the things Christmas was said to bring, and for that she was grateful. Jamie had made her greatest Christmas wishes come true without her even asking and she felt lucky to be alive.

The hospital staff served their version of Christmas dinner for the small family, and while Claire was sure it paled in comparison to whatever Jenny had made, it was quite delicious, especially considering it was hospital food. Jamie ate in the armchair next to Lamb at Claire’s insistence, since the two were deep in conversation, and Claire sat in the chair on the other side of Jamie, taking in her magical Christmas scene, better than any Hallmark movie could depict.

After dinner, Jamie was fading fast, listening to one of Lamb’s stories with heavy eyes. She took one of the spare blankets and covered Jamie. “Looks like you’re still not over your jet lag”

“Hrmmphh, I ‘spose not.”

“Do you want me to go get you a coffee? I doubt the cafe downstairs is open today, but there’s a cappuccino vending machine a few floors down that isn’t terrible.”

“Aye Sassenach, that’d be bonny. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“None at all, my love, I’ll be back soon.” Claire squeezed his hand before leaving the two men alone.

Jamie listened to her footsteps down the hall, and waited until he heard the ding of the elevator before he cleared his throat to speak frankly to Lamb. He sat up straight in the chair to ward off the sleepiness, having a few important things he wanted to say before Claire came back.

“Lamb, I need you to know, Claire is the most important person in my life. I love her sae much and I’d do anything for her.”

“I’m glad to hear that, I can see how happy you make her. She lights up when you’re around, it comforts my old heart to see.”

“I need you tae know, I’m very serious about her. I ken we haven’t been together that long, but I know--I know deep in my wame that I’m meant tae be hers. I want ya to know that I intend on spending the rest of my life making her happy, and while I havna bought a ring or ennathing yet, I wanted to ask yer blessing” Jamie paused for a moment before adding, “just in case.”

“Of course you have my blessing, son. I couldn’t be more glad to know that Claire will be so well cared for after I’m gone, truly.” Both men looked somber, knowing full well that this could be their last conversation, hoping dearly that it wasn’t. Claire returned with three cappuccinos in hand, surprised by the mood in the room.

“Everything alright, gentlemen? Don’t tell me Ralphie shot his eye out!”

“Och! Everything’s fine, Claire! I’m just tired is all, I’m sure this wee cappuccino will cure me in no time!” replied Jamie, eagerly taking a cup from Claire as she set another on Lamb’s tray table. The rest of the evening was quiet as Jamie took a nap, while Lamb and Claire watched A Christmas Story more intently then they had all day. Claire didn’t want to leave him alone so early on Christmas so she let Jamie nap until Lamb was asleep soundly for the night. The sense of joy she had felt all day was still present, but the nagging worry she felt about Lamb’s coming surgery was starting to settle in as well. Claire woke Jamie gently and Claire whispered softly to Lamb that they’d return in the morning, squeezing his hand before the couple quietly left the room.

----------

They walked out to Jamie’s car, since he still had his stuff packed in it, but Claire drove them back to Lamb’s apartment where she’d been staying. The cappuccino was helping Jamie stay coherent, but he was in no state to drive. They were quiet on the drive home, but kept their hands locked between the seats, grateful just to be in the presence of one another.

When they arrived at Lamb’s apartment, Jamie was so tired, he didn’t even want to brush his teeth, let alone do any of his usual nightly routines. However, he had spent the morning sweating in a polyester Santa suit over his clothes, and although he took it off shortly after his surprise arrival, he felt in need of a shower. Claire showed him where the bathroom was and made sure he had everything he needed, and got herself ready for bed.

Jamie showered quickly, not bothering to wash his hair, and only cleaning the parts of his body where any stench would be most concentrated, figuring the water would take care of the rest. A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, ready to collapse into bed, but not before embracing his sorcha. He scooped her into his embrace and she buried her face in his bare, firm chest, warm from the shower. He smelled clean, and fresh and most of like Jamie. “I’m so happy you’re with me, Jamie. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re here.” the emotions of the day hit her again and her voice caught at the end of her sentence as tears filled her eyes once again. Jamie kissed her forehead softly, down to her nose, and landed on her lips, giving her the firm, passionate kiss they’d both been longing for all day--and for months before that.

“Mo cridhe.” Jamie breathed when they separated. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll no’ leave you alone when ya need me.”

“Oh Jamie” Claire was still crying, “I’ve been so worried. I’ve been trying to stay strong for Lamb, but I feel like this won’t go back to normal--if there ever was a normal with him. I’m scared he’s going to get worse, or--” her sentence dissolved into a fit of sobs, which she tried to stifle on Jamie’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to stay strong when you’re with me. I’ll be here to help you shoulder the burden. I’ll be here to soak up your tears. There’s two of us now, Claire.” He pressed a kiss into her curls. “You can feel your feelings now, mo cridhe. Lay your cares on me. Come now, let’s get ya tae bed. I’m no’ sure how much longer I can stand myself.”

Claire fell asleep wrapped safely in Jamie’s embrace, free to be herself fully. Free to be vulnerable she felt safe, she felt loved, she felt comfortable, and most new to her--she felt she had the hope and strength that she could carry on, no matter what was to come. She slept better than she had in weeks, secure in the embrace of her eternal love.

End Notes: Thanks again for reading!! By the way, the Ingrid Michaelson song Jo mentions is hauntingly beautiful and you should listen to it. Also, I hope you liked Jamie's surprise. This was going to be a lot more angsty of a chapter but Jamie refused to let Claire suffer and had other plans. I know this was full of a lot of emotional ups and downs, and hopefully we can all find some comfort in the fact that just because Christmas/the holidays may look different for a lot of us this year, it can still be special, and there's still light, joy, love, hope, and peace to be found in the midst of the darkness.

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