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crazyunsexycool · 2 months

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My Little Love

Chapter 32

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Word count: 5.7K

Warning: Some tears, little bit of angst, Sad Henry, Some seperation anxiety, some fluff

A/N: Our favorite family is back. Also it's the first official introduction to Steve's Honey. Although it's only for a brief moment. This also happens before all of the holiday one shots for this series.

Series Masterlist

There was fire in your veins. It traveled from the top of your head to your toes. The burning sensation wouldn’t stop even as you begged for some mercy. Leather straps dug into your flesh, cutting your skin and drawing blood. The more you struggled the worse it got.

A voice, familiar, cold and harsh made impossible demands. You begged some more. The only response you received was that same voice, mocking you and a stinging sensation across your cheek.

You couldn’t place the voice no matter how much you tried to remember. Where had you heard it before? A choked sob escapes you as the group of people around you move to ‘work’ on you.

****

Shallow ragged breaths fill the otherwise quiet room. Slowly a voice calls out to you. Dripping with love and innocence and concern. It pulled you out of the deep dark memories that were weighing you down.

“Mama, is kay now. No cwy.” Charlotte’s reassurance was spoken in a calming manner.

“It’s just a nightmare.” You heard Henry say as you finally opened your eyes.

Your body ached, your muscles were tense and sore but you realized that you weren’t in the living room anymore. At some point someone, most likely Bucky, moved you to the master bedroom. Immediately your mind went back to the nightmare, a memory really. You couldn’t shake that feeling of knowing who that voice belonged to.

“Mowning mama.” Lottie’s sweet sleepy voice pulls your attention as she gently caresses your cheek. She wipes away the tears that had fallen.

“Morning sweet Angel. Morning my sweet boy.”

It was a delight for them to hear those nicknames. They sat at either side of you and when you opened your arms they didn’t hesitate to snuggle up to you. You kissed the tops of their heads and just enjoyed being with them again. It was obvious by the sleepy looks in their eyes that you had woken them up. The door opens slowly and you manage to look over to see Bucky pop his head in. His smile is breathtakingly soft as he watches the three of you all cuddled up in bed.

“Daddy come on.” Henry patted the empty space beside him.

Bucky’s smile widened as he walked in and closed the door. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants which meant that he had just woken up too. He had no problem taking up the empty spot next to his son. Instinctively Bucky’s hand finds yours, your fingers intertwine with his. Soon enough Henry starts telling you about the video games he and uncle Sam and uncle Josh played. Lottie tells you about her sleepovers with Olivia. You listen and ask all kinds of questions and for those few minutes you forget about the hell you lived through and the three months you had been separated. The four of you joke and laugh, share cuddles and kisses. Your heart feels light and it erases any memory of your nightmare.

There’s a knock on the door and when it opens it’s your dad. He informs you that your siblings are here. Reluctantly you let the kids go and got up, sitting at the edge of the bed. Henry took Charlotte’s hand and led her out to the living room, you could immediately hear your siblings greeting them.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked. He knew from experience that asking if someone was ok after a traumatic experience wasn’t the best way to get them to talk.

“Tired.” You murmured. “I had a nightmare, a memory really. I hate remembering.”

He shuffled around and sat next to you. Bucky’s arm moved behind you until it settled around your waist.

“I know Sugar. I hate to say it but it won’t always be easy. But I’m right here with you. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

You gave him a sad smile before resting your head on his shoulder. The two of you stay like that for a few minutes before you get up and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

****

Bucky had already joined your family in the living room. He’d advised them that you had woken up from a nightmare, that from the events that happened the day before you were probably still on edge and that it would be better to not get too excited or loud around you just yet.

“Hey.” You said as you stood at the edge of the living room. Unsure of what to do next.

“Y/N.”

Luke got up first and he made his way towards you. It was slow and cautious, almost as if he was afraid to scare a wild animal.

“Can I hug you?” He asked, although he kept his hands in his pockets instead of holding his arms out and not really giving you a choice.

“Yeah, that would be ok.”

Gently Luke pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head. You clung to him. The moment felt all too familiar. It brought you back to your childhood when you would get in trouble way before you had been alienated from your siblings. You realized you were crying harder than you meant to because Luke was swaying side to side and reassuring you that you were safe.

Next came Josh and Sofia, followed by Molly. All of them telling you how happy they were that you were safe. Olivia was the last to come up to you. Still shy around you but you couldn’t blame her, you had barely spent any time together.

“Hi auntie Y/N.” She says shyly, halfway hidden behind Molly’s legs.

“Hi Oli. Lottie told me you had a lot of sleepovers.” You had gone down to her level and she loosened her grip on Molly’s leg and shifted a tad bit closer.

“Yeah, she was sad a lot because she missed you.”

“I missed her too, but thank you because you kept her company.”

“I missed you too.” She reveals as she walks even closer to you. “You’re fun.”

“Yeah? I missed you too.”

Olivia is finally standing in front of you, her hands behind her back and she squirms around a bit. You play with her curls and smile at her.

“Can I hug you too?”

“I would really love a hug from you.”

She gives you a toothy grin and then her small arms wrap loosely around your neck. You pull her in and pick her up.

“Thank you for helping Charlotte and Henry while I was gone. You are the best cousin ever.” You whisper in her ear and she giggles. With a kiss to her temple you set her down.

There’s an awkward silence. You knew that they wanted to ask you about what you went through. There was no way you’d tell them. Some of it you didn’t even really remember.

“What do you need from us?” Luke asks as everyone settles down.

You blinked at him, confused at his question.

“We don’t want to overwhelm you.” Molly adds. “So whatever you need us for, we're here, just let us know.”

You nodded but you were at a loss for words. It was a lot to take in, in the last few hours. It hadn’t even been a full 24 since you were found so suddenly having so much control of yourself and freedom you didn’t know what to do.

“Shouldn’t you be meeting with Shuri?” Ed offered.

“Yeah we should. Are you ok with waiting here?”

“Of course, whatever you need.”

The information Shuri had for you was worse than you thought. There were several microchips implanted in your brain. Those along with a chemical component were being used to control you. Half of the issue was resolved when Yelena sprayed the antidote in your face a few hours ago. The other half was going to be complicated. You were going to need literal brain surgery to be completely free of hydra’s hold.

Bucky took you aside and for a while he just held you. It was overwhelming. The decisions you’d both have to make were difficult.

“Look at me Sugar.” Bucky murmurs as he pulls back. Your red rimmed eyes meet his bright blue ones. “I know it’s a lot more to ask of you. You’ve been through hell, I get it. But we have to do this. We have to go back to Wakanda and make sure those things are out of your head. I promise I’ll be right there with you. Then this will all be over.”

“What about the kids?”

Bucky sighs.

“But you just got back, you can’t leave mama.” Henry argues, he’s on the verge of tears.

“I know, sweet boy. I don’t want to go but the bad men hurt me and I have to go to Wakanda to get better like you, daddy and Lottie did.”

“But we were gone for so long.”

“Shuri thinks that it will take less time, bubs.” You tried to soothe him and run your hand up and down his arm but he pulled away.

“Why can’t we go with you? You went with us last time?”

“Bubba, mama needs to get bettuh.” Lottie speaks up for the first time. You had noticed she had been lost in thought, you’re sure she was having a vision.

“But daddy is going.”

“I’m going to be there to watch over mama during and after her treatments.” Bucky added.

Henry threw his arms around your neck and cried. He pleaded with you to take him but in reality you weren’t sure if your memory would be affected after the surgery or worse if you’d die because of it. You didn’t want either of them to see that and Bucky wouldn’t be able to watch them and take care of you at the same time. That’s what you tried to explain to Henry but he wouldn’t accept it. After going back and forth he just stepped away from you.

“Fine leave again then. I don’t care.” He all but yelled before running away, turning invisible as he did.

His reaction had you crying. He had been anxious while you were gone and now that he had you back you were leaving again. Henry’s reaction was completely understandable but it still hurt you. Lottie stood in front of you and offered you a smile. Her hair was much longer and she had it swept over her shoulder to one side as she played with the ends.

“Is kay mama. Bubba just scared. I make him not scared.”

“You’re gonna take care of him while we’re gone?”

“Mmhmm.” She nods as she places her arms and crosses them over your legs propping her chin on one of her free hands. “No be scared mama.” She taps her temple. “Mama be kay. I see it.”

You make a sound between a laugh and a sob before you pick her up. Lottie smiled at you and leaned into your chest. Leaving them again wasn’t going to be easy. In fact you were sure that the tightness in your chest had everything to do with being away from them.

****

Shuri and the Dora Milaje that stayed to protect her were already on their jet. You and Bucky would be leaving with them. There was not a lot of time from when you told the kids to when you’d actually leaving so you weren’t able to talk to Henry again. You didn’t want to leave things like that with him but the clock was ticking and you weren’t sure what hydra would be able to do to you. After you said goodbye to your family you and Bucky were at Bruce’s lab, getting some last minute information.

“This is a very awkward conversation to be having.” Bruce sighed.

“Is something wrong with Y/N?”

“No, not exactly.” Bruce cleared his throat but was going slightly red at the mere thought of having to discuss this. “I think you should um not- do certain things for the next three weeks.”

“What things Bruce?” You look at him confused. “No training or using guns?”

“No. I mean you shouldn’t do those things either.”

“Then what?” Bucky was getting irritated.

“Don’t have sex.”

You and Bucky turn to see a woman walking up to you.

“I’m sorry what? Who are you?”

“I’m Dr. Banner’s new assistant.” She offers you and Bucky her name. “I started a few weeks ago. Anyways, while running some tests on your blood samples we found high doses of medication used for fertility treatments.”

The reality of what this meant sat heavy in the air. They were preparing to use you for another winter soldier child and who knows what they would have done to you once you gave birth.

“She’s right. I’ll have Shuri monitor your levels but from now until you get back it’s best if you abstain from those activities. Unless of course you’re ready for more kids.”

“Bruce, just tell us not to have sex.” Bucky shakes his head and holds back a chuckle.

“Fine, don’t have sex. Now get out of my lab.” He chuckles. “I know you’re in very capable hands but good luck.”

“Thanks Bruce.” You also thank his assistant before heading out.

****

“So brain surgery, upset kid and now no sex. Things can only go up from here.” You tell Bucky as you sit back in the jet.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“They will. They have to.”

“I haven’t had the chance to say it but I’m glad you’ve let your hair grow out. I always wanted to play with your hair when you had it long like this.”

“You’re welcome to play with my hair as much as you want.”

You sigh and lay your head against his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Sugar?”

You take a moment and tell him what’s bothering you. That voice in your dream and how you felt that you were supposed to recognize it. That there were things that you didn’t remember but that it was more than that, it felt that there was a wall blocking those memories. Bucky takes your hand and reassures you that everything will be ok. That most likely you just need to remove those microchips in your brain and everything will fall back into place. You can only hope that he’s right.

For days Shuri worked tirelessly to undo what hydra had done. It was difficult the first time you woke up to find out that the surgery was being done in sections. After two weeks of going between surgery and recovery, Shuri was finally done. It was complicated to say the least but it had been successful. You took one week to fully recover thanks to the serum.

****

It was a brisk night in Wakanda. The nightgown you had on did little to keep you warm but with all of the memories coming back to you it was a welcomed change. Some peace and quiet was exactly what you needed as you thought about how you would tell Bucky who had been hurting you and what you had learned and remembered.

“Sugar? Everything alright?” Bucky’s gravelly voice cuts the silence.

“Yeah, just another nightmare.”

“Mmm.” Bucky walks up and places his hands on your hips. You can feel his body warmth against your back. “Want to talk about it?”

Turning around you look up into his concerned blue eyes. You knew you had to tell him but you were scared at his reaction. Bucky pulls you into his chest, his hand running up and down your back in a soothing manner.

“I remember everything.” You mumble while blinking back tears. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“It’s ok Sugar. I know this part is difficult, remembering any part of it. Just tell me what you want, if you want too.”

“I remember the voice.” You start by saying. “I remember everything she told me, it was horrible.”

“She?” Bucky racked his brain trying to remember any high ranking female hydra officers but he couldn’t.

You pulled back to look at him, the truth was on the tip of your tongue but the weight of it kept you from talking. Bucky cupped your face and tilted your head so that you would look at him again. Your gaze was starting to unfocus and he called your name softly. One warm and one cold hand grounding you in reality. You weren’t strapped to that table anymore. There wasn’t a room full of men ripping you apart and figuring out the best way to put you back together. No, you are safe now. In the arms of the man that loved you and who might despise you in a moment.

“You’ll hate me.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed in confusion. There was a chance you weren’t coherent due to the surgery and medications.

“I could never hate you, Sugar.”

You blinked up at him owlishly while studying Bucky’s face. It might be the last time that he looked at you with so much love. With your hands wrapped around his wrists you take a deep breath. It was now or never.

“My mom.” Bucky tilts his head but waits for you to continue talking. “She’s the voice. She was the one in charge.”

You felt him stiffen.

“Your mother is hydra? Is your father? Your siblings?” A bit of panic in his tone.

You shook your head as he pulled away. He paced back and forth on the balcony.

“How? Why? I don’t understand.”

“Apparently all of the family on her side was hydra. But that’s not all.” You started crying then. Bucky stopped and looked at you.

“My great grandfather and grandfather they were both-“ you struggled to get the words out. It hurt to think that two of the people you loved the most were created at the hands of your family members.

“They what?”

You flinched slightly at the sharpness of his tone.

“They were both part of the winter soldier program and of developing the program for Henry, Charlotte and the boys.”

Bucky stared at you with slight horror. He takes a step away from you and then another.

“She was horrible. The things she told me.” You start to sob. “What she did to me as a kid was nothing compared to what she did this time.” You turn away from him and lean on the railing again. “The plans she had for me were evil. Having me hurt Charlotte and Henry was a fail safe plan. She knew it would kill me if they were hurt.” You hide your face in your hands and continue to cry over everything.

The sight of you crying over the things your family has done breaks Bucky’s heart. You flinch when you feel his hand on your back.

“Sugar, it’s over.”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “She’s still out there. It’s not over until she’s dead.” You turn to look at him again with a pained expression. “As long as she’s alive we’ll never have peace.”

“We will. I promise you we will.”

Bucky pulls you into his chest and lets you cry until you can’t anymore. He had to put his feelings aside for the moment, this wasn’t about him and it wasn’t your fault. Deep down he knows you aren’t like the monster that your mother is, and neither is your family.

From the moment you told Henry you had to go to Wakanda he had been anxiously awaiting your return. He felt bad for not saying goodbye. It didn’t help that Charlotte called him out on ‘being mean to mama’ when you were already scared. All he wanted now was for you to come back so he could tell you that he didn’t mean it. He was scared too.

It also happened that he was sad at the thought that you would miss his first official birthday. It’s not that a party was the most important thing to him but Henry wanted to spend it together as a family.

So on the actual day no one could coax him out of his room. Not Eddie, Luke, Molly or Steve and Sam. Not even Lottie could convince him to go up to his party.

“But bubba is so nice. You habe fun.” Lottie rubbed his back in a comforting manner as he lay facing the wall.

“I don’t want to have a birthday party. You go and have fun baby.”

Lottie huffs in annoyance. “Kay.” She says as she walks out and closes the door.

A few minutes later there’s another knock and the door opens.

“I said I don’t want to go to the party.” Henry’s tone is stern.

“That’s ok sweet boy. What if we do something else, just the four of us?”

Henry sits up, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open as he turns towards the door.

“Mama, you’re back.” He says between choked sobs. Henry hops off the bed and runs into your waiting arms. “I’m sorry mama, I didn’t wanna be mean.”

“I know bubs. We were both scared.”

“I love you mama.”

“I love you too.” You kiss the top of his head and hug him for as long as he needs too. Pulling back, you cup his face with both of your hands. “Happy birthday.”

Soon he pulls away and moves to hug Bucky.

“Happy birthday bubs.”

“Thanks. Did you know they were coming back today?” Henry turns to look at Lottie who is giving him a mischievous smile.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Is a suwpwise. Duh.” Lottie rolled her eyes.

“When did she learn how to do that?” You whisper to Bucky.

“She spent way too much time with Nat and Sofia.”

“Oh great.” You mutter. “So what do you say sweet boy, party or family hang out?”

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you rest?”

“I had all the rest I needed for now. Besides your dad and I made sure to pick a good theme for your birthday. Are you sure you don’t want to go see it at least?”

“You picked it?” Henry asks while looking at both of you wide eyed.

“Of course. Well it was your dad’s idea. I wish I would have been able to plan it though.” You gave Henry a sad smile.

“I wanna go to the party.” He says excitedly.

“Let’s go then.”

****

As always Tony out did himself. The largest of the shared living rooms had been turned into a fully functioning arcade. All types of retro arcade games were set up around the room, one of the bars had been turned into a prize booth and even the lighting was perfect. Anything you could find in an arcade you found here and there were even some of Henry’s favorite things available too.

There were banners hanging up that said ‘gamers don’t age, they level up’. Henry was wide eyed as he looked around and found that all of his favorite people were there including Sam’s nephews and Clint’s older son. Still it wasn’t packed with people which you greatly appreciated.

“Can I go play?” Henry looked up at you and Bucky.

“Of course bubs, it’s your birthday.” Bucky nods.

“I’ll find you later. C’mon baby let’s go.”

Bucky slips a hand around your waist as you watch the kids run further into the room. He leads you a bit further in but you stop him and nod in the direction of the bar.

“What in the world is going on there?” You were referring to Steve talking with Bruce’s new assistant.

They looked like complete opposites. Steve was animated and smiling while she was a bit more guarded, a bored expression on her face. Still there was a bit of lightness in her eyes as she looked at Steve. You wondered how it started and what it was in the first place.

“Don’t worry Sugar, we’ll find out soon enough.”

“You can’t tease him about it.”

“I won’t make a promise I don’t intend to keep.” Bucky says with a chuckle.

Just then Steve turns around just to take in the room and his whole face lights up when he sees you. You watch as he excuses himself and walks over to you.

“When did you get back?” He asks as he gives you both hugs.

“A few minutes ago. We wanted to surprise Henry.”

“So I’m assuming everything went well.”

“Yeah. I remembered everything. There’s-“ you sigh, your features darkening for a moment. “There’s someone from hydra still out there.”

“You sure? We haven’t gone through all of the files yet.”

“Trust me, there’s someone missing on the list of detainees.” Bucky adds. “But we’ll worry about that tomorrow. Right now we are here to celebrate.”

You smile up at him. Although the serum had healed all of the surgical incisions your body was still exhausted from the three months of hell you lived through, the surgery and the emotional rollercoaster too. So you decided on taking it easy. You walked through the room, finding your family or the team and talking. Sitting and just enjoying being back home.

****

“I’m going to win you a prize Sugar. Pick whatever teddy bear you want.” Bucky says with a smirk.

“I want that teddy that looks like you.” You point at the stuffie that had a black and gold arm.

“You got it.”

Bucky heads to the basketball game and shoots nothing but net. He ends up getting so many tickets he can get you the bear.

“Is this how you used to woo the girls you dated back in the 30s?” You asked as you hugged the bear to your chest.

“Maybe.”

You smile and kiss his cheek. “Thanks for my new sleeping buddy. I’m sure he’ll keep me safe.”

“What? There’s no way a stuffed bear is replacing me.”

“But he’s so cute and cuddly.”

“Sugar.” He gave you a halfhearted glare.

You kiss his cheek, laughing before you disappear between some of the arcade games with Bucky grumbling behind you. Charlotte and Olivia run past you, each of them holding some cotton candy and giggling. Henry is sitting at a racing game with Sam in the seat next to him, both of them competing for first place.

“You can’t use your own hammer, Point Break.” Tony tells Thor.

“But the objective is to hit these creatures.”

“You’re supposed to wack, not obliterate.”

You chuckle and shake your head as you walk past them and find your dad hanging out in the lounge area with a drink in hand. He pats the empty seat beside him and you take it, immediately resting your head on his shoulder. After making sure you’re ok, Bucky leaves to find Steve and challenge him in a game of pool.

“How are you feeling, kitten? Do you need to go up and rest? I’m sure Henry wouldn’t mind if you went and had a nap.” Eddie said.

“No, I'm ok. As long as I’m not pushing myself physically I’ll be fine. I’ve already missed so much.”

The two of you sit there for a while just watching everyone enjoy the party. Eddie just says something once in a while but mostly you sit in silence. It was nice but it felt surreal. Now you had a better understanding of why Bucky hated crowds. The space felt suffocating, as if all eyes were on you and every whispered conversation was about you. Maybe they were waiting for you to break. But it wouldn’t happen tonight. This night was reserved for Henry and he deserved a good birthday.

****

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.” Everyone stood around the birthday cake which was made to look like a huge video game controller, singing.

Bucky held Lottie while you had your hands resting on Henry’s shoulders.

“Happy birthday dear Henry, happy birthday to you.”

“Blow out your candles and make a wish.” You whisper.

Henry looks back at you with a smile. An innocence you’d barely seen in him since he was rescued. There was pure joy on his face as he turned to look at his dad and sister. He turns back to the cake and blows the candles out. Everyone cheers and you kiss the top of his head. You pull him back as Molly and Wanda begin to cut the cake. Soon enough everyone has a piece.

****

“You have a mess on your face sweet angel.” You say while trying to wipe Lottie’s face clean with a napkin.

“No mama.” Lottie pulls away, sticking her tongue out to try and lick away the frosting around her lips. Then she takes another spoonful of cake and shovels it in her mouth. “Habe some, mama.” She takes another spoonful and holds it up for you.

“No thank you, baby. I already had some.”

“Is kay mama. Habe some, is so yummy.”

You huff a laugh and accept the spoonful Lottie had offered you. She smiles before turning her attention back to her slice. This was very reminiscent of the night she called you mama for the first time. She was sitting on your lap yet again with a huge mess on her face. Everyone sat around talking and having a good time. This time though, Henry sat next to you and your family was here. Memories like this is what you would cling to in order to keep the nightmares at bay.

After a while the party calmed down. People were still playing video games but the atmosphere was more relaxed. You couldn’t fight the exhaustion anymore so you went to find Henry. He was waiting his turn to play dance, dance revolution.

“Hey birthday boy.” You tousled his hair to get his attention.

“Hey mama. Do you want to play this?”

“No it’s ok. I am going to go upstairs and lay down. I’m tired.”

Henry looked at the game and back at you unsure of what to do.

“I’m not saying you have to leave the party, baby. I’m just letting you know so you don’t think I left you, ok?” You caress his cheek and smile.

“Are daddy and baby going with you?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m just going to lay down for a little bit. Your dad and Lottie will still be running around. I’ll try to come back down later.”

“It’s ok mama.” Henry gives you a hug. “Thank you for coming back for my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” You kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you later.”

“Ok mama.”

You watch as Henry gets up to select what he wanted to dance to before looking for Bucky. You find him with Luke, Olivia and Charlotte on the balcony. The girls were admiring the twinkling lights of the city as night fell while Bucky and Luke had a conversation. You go up to them and let them know you’re going to be leaving the party. Bucky takes your hand and gives your knuckles a quick kiss before watching you walk away.

At some point after you had fallen asleep Bucky joined you in bed. The weight of his arm around your waist and the soft rise and fall of his chest against your back brought you comfort. You couldn’t, however, fall back asleep. As quietly and quickly as you could you slid out of bed and out of the room. You needed some fresh air so you slid the door to the balcony open and stepped outside.

“Mama?” Henry asks from the door.

You turn, surprised to see him awake at whatever time it was. He walks towards you, rubbing the sleep out of his eye with the back of his hand. You open your arms for him.

“I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” He asks as he leans into your warm embrace.

“I’m sorry sweet boy, I guess I was just thinking too much.”

“It’s ok. Why are you out here? Aren’t you cold?” Henry presses himself closer to you.

“Not really but let's go inside.”

You head to the living room and get comfortable on the couch. Henry lays down and rests his head on your lap. Immediately you start playing with his hair while he holds your free hand.

“When do you know if a birthday wish worked, mama?”

“Well I think it depends on what you wished for. If it was something big then it could take some time.” You look down at him. “Why?”

“I just want my wish to work fast.”

“What did you wish for, sweet boy?”

Henry sits up and faces you. “I wished for you to not feel scared like I was when I got here.”

“Oh baby, you didn’t have to use your wish on that. I’ll get better little by little I promise.” Henry’s revelation made you tear up just a bit.

“I know. I just wanted to help you like you and daddy and baby always help me.”

You smile at him then pull him in for a hug.

“You are helping me, sweet boy. Just by being here with me right now and giving me some cuddles.”

“I can do that.”

“I know you can. I love you so much my sweet, sweet boy.” You kiss the top of his head before getting comfortable on the couch.

“I love you too mama. I missed you so much.” Henry whispers.

“I missed you too.”

Henry ends up cuddled up on your lap. His face is buried in the crook of your neck. Soft snores fill the quiet room. Your hold on him is strong and you struggle to not think about the things he must have gone through now that you have experienced some of them.

The two of you stay on the couch until the morning when you’re woken up. Charlotte, wanting to be included in some cuddles, hopped up on the couch and found a spot on your lap before practically falling asleep again. For the next few weeks it’s the same routine. You wake up due to the nightmares and someone always finds you. The kids comfort you by cuddling on the couch, Bucky by letting you cry on his shoulder.

It was true what Bucky had said, it wouldn’t be easy but you would manage. Your life would be slightly different now but you had a reason to keep pushing forward. You had good days and you had bad days but you pushed through it all. There was lost time you needed to make up with the kids and you intended to do just that.

Ch. 33

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#My little love series #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #bucky fanfic #the winter soldier #dad!bucky barnes x mom!reader #girl dad!bucky barnes #Boy dad!bucky barnes #Charlotte barnes #Henry barnes #Bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes series

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crazyunsexycool · 19 days

Text

My Little Love

Chapter 34

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 4.8k

Warning: fake medical scenario (you'll see), So much fluff, this is so fluffy!!!!!

A/N: If you haven't done so I suggest reading this ONE SHOT before you read the chapter because it will be referenced in the chapter. All I can say is that I hope you guys like this chapter...

Series masterlist

Bucky sat completely still. He only moved or answered questions when he was told he could do so. The people he was with were bossy and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Bucky had no choice but to comply.

“Deep breath.”

Bucky takes a deep slow breath.

“Say ‘aahh’”

“Aaahhhhh.”

“I’ve found the issue.”

“What is it doc?” Bucky asks worriedly.

“You have a cat in your belly.”

“A cat? That’s not possible.”

“We’re gonna have to remove it. Nurse, get the patient ready.”

“Kay.”

Bucky tried to not laugh as Henry and Lottie played doctor with him being their only patient.

“Be a good boy, dada.” Lottie pats Bucky’s cheek.

“Please lay down, sir.” Henry instructs and points at the couch. “Baby it’s not dada, it’s sir.” He whispers to Lottie.

Bucky does as he’s told and gets comfortable on the couch. Lottie stands by his head and takes the toy stethoscope that had been resting around her neck and checks his heart.

“Is stwong, dada.” She says, referring to his heartbeat.

“It’s sir.”

“It’s dada.” Lottie sends Henry a pointed look, hoping he would drop it.

Ever since you started working exclusively at the medbay the kids had been fascinated with the idea. They still didn’t like the actual hospital portion of the tower you worked on but they liked visiting your office. In an effort to show them what you did, you got a toy medical kit and explained what everything was. You even used Bucky as a patient and showed them what you did with each item. Now they loved playing hospital. Unfortunately for Bucky he was usually their patient and Henry and Lottie loved to play for hours. They even switched on who got to play doctor and nurse.

“Habe to gibe shot dada. Be bwave.” Lottie says before giving him a so-called shot with the fake syringe from the play kit.

“Wow nurse, you’re so good at that. I didn’t even feel it.”

Lottie smiles as she places a pink princess bandaid on Bucky’s metal arm. Then she leans in and places a kiss on top.

“Is bettuh.”

“Definitely but,” Bucky fakes a yawn. “I’m so sleepy now.”

“Quick nurse, we have to get the cat out now.”

Both kids ran around giggling and supposedly performing surgery. Bucky just laid back with a smile on his face as he listened to Henry and Lottie talk amongst themselves.

You walked in just as Henry was holding Alpine above Bucky’s belly. Lottie was pretending to listen to Bucky’s heart again.

“Is good.”

“Sir, everything was a success.” Henry informs Bucky.

“What is going on here?”

Both Henry and Lottie turn their heads to you. They start laughing when you narrow your eyes at them and then they run off.

“I had a cat in my belly, apparently.” Bucky explains. “They were removing it.”

“Oh. Well I’m glad they caught it on time, you know, before Alpine had kittens in there.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but chuckles. He opens his arms as you walk over to him, inviting you to cuddle with him on the couch. You gladly accept and lay over him. Bucky pulls you closer and you sigh once you’re comfortable.

“Bad shift?” He murmurs.

“Kind of.”

“I heard about the agents that came back.”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad. They’re hanging in there but it’s very touch and go at the moment.” You sigh as Bucky moves his hand up and down your back. His body heat and soothing movement are slowly lulling you to sleep.

“They’ll pull through. I mean they have you taking care of them.” Bucky says but doesn’t get a response. He shifts a little and realizes you’re already asleep.

Henry and Lottie walk back into the living room to find their parents cuddled up. When Bucky sees them he presses a finger to his mouth so they know to be quiet. Henry nods and runs off, coming back a few seconds later with a blanket he drapes over your sleeping form. He even places a gentle kiss on your cheek, which Lottie repeats. They leave the living room quietly and head to their shared room to continue playing.

Bucky kept his arms around you and couldn’t help but think that this was heaven. He could hear the kids playing and laughing in their room. He also enjoyed your weight on him as you napped. Lottie’s question kept playing in his mind over and over. Bucky already had a plan; he was just waiting for the right day to do it. But the more he thought about marrying you the more excited he got about finally asking you. So the moment you woke up he’d start actually planning the proposal. Everything would be perfect for you, it’s what you deserved.

For the past two weeks Bucky had been acting weird. He was secretive and jumpy whenever you walked into a room. He’d always give you a lopsided smile but his eyes looked slightly panicked. Like he was about to get caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Half of you found it funny but the other half was curious as to what was going on. Whenever you’d ask he acted like he had no clue what you were talking about. You wanted to laugh, he made the same face Charlotte and Henry did when they were caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

“You should never play poker.” You tell Bucky while stares at you like a deer caught in headlights. He had been in the living room typing away on his phone when you found him.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re being very secretive.”

“Again, no idea what you’re talking about.” Bucky shrugs.

“Alright then, keep your secrets.”

His eyes narrow and lips part slightly. “Did you just quote the Lord of the Rings?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Bucky chuckled. “Fine, I might be planning a surprise. But that’s all I’m saying.”

“A surprise? When do I get to see this surprise?”

“Soon. Now, I love you very much and I love being with you but you have to go.”

“Fine. I’ll go. I have plans with the kids anyways.”

Bucky gives you a kiss and gently pushes you out of the living room before grabbing his phone again. Everything was almost ready, he just had to finish writing out what he wanted to tell you.

It was time.

Bucky had chosen what he thought was the perfect date, the day Charlotte was found. He had help from everyone to get this right. There was nothing that made him more nervous in his life than this but it was the good kind.

With Wanda, Nat and Sofia’s help he bought you a red dress and accessories. The dress was similar to the one you’d worn on your first date. They’d also help you get ready. Molly and Luke had agreed to watch Lottie and Henry. Clint had advised Bucky to just speak from the heart. Steve had been so giddy that Bucky had to keep reminding him to not accidentally say anything. Sam wouldn’t stop teasing Bucky but it was all in good fun. Tony was of course Tony and said he had a surprise of his own if you’d say yes to Bucky. Bruce, Josh and Vision had congratulated him and kept Steve busy. Eddie was the last person Bucky spoke to right before the date. Eddie gave him some much needed fatherly advice.

And it would be, it had to be.

****

You’d taken his breath away when you walked out of your shared bedroom. The dress he’d chosen fit you like a glove but that shouldn’t have been a surprise, Bucky knew your body well. He looked just as handsome in his suit and white button up shirt. The top two buttons were open and his hair was styled to perfection. As soon as you were close enough Bucky pulled you into his arms.

“Absolutely beautiful. What did I do to get so lucky?” He asks before placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Me? What about you? You look very handsome.”

“Stop.” Bucky blushes but can’t hide his smile. “We should go or we’ll be late.”

“Ok. Lead the way.”

Bucky pulls away but takes your hand and heads out of the apartment. He was so nervous and as the elevator took you both down to the private garage he kept going over his plan. Bucky knew everyone was already where they needed to be. All he had to do now was get you there.

You were confused when Bucky pulled up to the compound. Tony had said that the renovations had been completed and that soon enough it would be up and running at full capacity. It still didn’t explain what you were doing there now when you should be on a date.

“I’m sorry Sugar, I should’ve told you I had to stop by before we went on our date.” Bucky says as he opens your door. “It’ll be quick I promise.”

“Ok.” You said softly as you looked around.

It felt like a lifetime ago the last time you were here. That last day at the compound started the three worst months of your life. Being back felt surreal. You decided to wait outside for Bucky. From where you stood you could make out the small playground the kids used daily, the training grounds you’d use with future agents and the area that Tony loved to use for outdoor events.

“Agent Y/L/N?” A security guard called you. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too, Smith.” You smile.

“This is for you.”

He hands you a piece of paper and walks off before you could ask him anything. Opening the note you saw Bucky’s handwriting asking you to meet him at the main hangar. You were growing more confused by the second. Still you headed into the main building to meet Bucky.

At the door you find a sign that says ‘wait here’. You do what you normally would and lean against the doorframe. Walking in from around the corner you see Steve and Bucky heading straight toward you. Steve looks way too excited to be here while Bucky gives you a coy smile.

“What’s going on? I thought you were on a mission.” You ask Steve.

“I am.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This is my mission.”

“This is where we were standing about three years ago.” Bucky starts as he looks between you and Steve. “Yeah, it’s just about right.”

“Ok?”

“This is where I truly met you for the first time.” Bucky admits. “It was the middle of the night and I was coming back from Wakanda. I was nervous and a bit scared that I wouldn’t be welcomed by the team. And there you were waiting to welcome me.”

“I think she was waiting for me, Buck.” Steve jokes.

“Don’t be a jerk.” Bucky elbows Steve playfully. “I’m doing something here.”

“Focus, I’m still not sure what’s going on.”

“As I was saying, you looked so beautiful that night. I thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live here.”

“That night was the first time I saw a glimpse of my best friend for the first time.” Steve adds. “I was worried about him but when I saw the way he looked at you I knew there was something special going to happen.”

You smile at that. Bucky pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to you. It gives you instructions on where to go next.

“Go.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“Nope.” Bucky smiles. “I’ll see you later.”

You narrow your eyes in his direction but turn around and head to the next location. When you get there, to Steve’s office, you’re surprised to see him sitting at his desk. He was acting as if he’d been working.

“How did you get up here before I did?”

“I ran.” He says coolly.

“Ok then. What is supposed to happen here?”

“I was sitting right here and,” Steve assesses where you’re standing. “Take two steps back.”

You do as he says and stop at the doorway.

“You were standing right there. It had been a few weeks since Bucky had been back. I was trying to keep him in and you were arguing that he should be going out.”

You smile, remembering that conversation.

“I think you also told me to go get laid.”

“I still stand by that.” You joke and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Anyways, even since then you’d been looking out for Bucky. I still stand by what I said, I knew something special was happening between the two of you.”

“And I was standing right here.” Bucky’s voice startles you.

You step out of Steve’s office to find Bucky leaning against the wall not too far from you.

“You heard?”

“I did. I was actually on my way to Steve’s office to tell him I needed to get out. You beat me to it. Always looking out for me.” Bucky holds his hand out. “Next stop, c’mon.”

You take his hand and he takes you down to one of the common areas. Girls just wanna have fun is playing but it’s Clint singing. When you turn the corner the living room is set up similar to the bar you’d been at that night. Bucky’s hand falls to your waist as you laugh at Clint’s dancing.

“That night at the bar, Steve told me you would have said yes if I asked you out on a date. I wanted too but I thought you deserved better. I still do. It was the first time I admitted to myself that I liked you and wondered what it would be like if we had a family.”

“Baby.” You felt a lump of emotion form in your throat. “Really?”

“Yeah, I was crazy about you then. I’m crazy about you now.” Bucky kisses your cheek. “We should keep moving, we have a few places to see.”

Bucky takes you to a few places across the compound and recounts all the memories he’s had with you. Along the way the team keeps popping up with their own little stories about watching you fall in love.

The next stop was the medbay. Specifically the room where Lottie stayed when she first arrived at the compound. Bucky opens the door and you step in. To your surprise the crib is still there and a special guest too.

“Hi mama.” Lottie greets you from inside the crib.

“My sweet Angel, what are you doing here?”

She looks over at her father who places a finger to his lips. Lottie nods as she sports a knowing smile. She waves you over so you lean in.

“Is suwpwise.” She says before covering her mouth with her hands and giggling.

“It has been exactly a year since we found Charlotte. This is where you spent a large part of your time once Lottie was found. You stepped up when she needed someone. It’s also where I heard you tell her what you thought about me.” Bucky says as he gets closer and picks Lottie out of the crib. He sets her down and she runs out of the room.

“Will you tell me what’s going on now?” You were starting to get suspicious but didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“We are almost done.” Bucky takes your hand and brings it up to place a kiss on your knuckles.

There were a few more stops. Like the waiting room where Bucky sat, desperately waiting for news when he thought he’d lost you. Twice. The conference rooms where you flirted and the staircase where you had full make out sessions. The last stop was your apartment. Well what was left of it. Bucky gently moved you so that you were standing with your back to the door. You looked up at him curiously as he placed his hands on your hips.

“This is where we shared our first kiss.”

Bucky leans in and gives you a quick kiss so as to not mess up your lipstick. He reaches around behind you and opens the door. The apartment was bare. It was completely redone but all of your belongings were missing. There wasn’t a single thing that reminded you that it was yours. Of course this had been the target for the missile so nothing would have survived the impact and subsequent fire.

You take a tentative step inside and a slew of emotions hit you square in the chest. This apartment had been a witness to the love you’d had for Bucky from the very start. It held many good memories and even some bad ones. Your eyes welled up with tears at the memory of your last time in the living room, it was the night Lottie had her vision. Still that didn’t diminish every happy moment.

“Hi mama.” Henry stood by the kitchen counter.

“My sweet boy.”

He smiles at you. “This is where you taught me how to bake. We had a lot of fun times here.”

“Yeah we did.”

“We habe tea pawties he-uh mama.” Lottie poked her head out of her room and smiled.

Henry ran past you and into his own room. You followed closely behind.

“You read me lots of bedtime stories here.”

“Me too mama.” Lottie adds. Henry leaves his room and takes his sister’s hand as you and Bucky follow.

“Habe seepovers.” Charlotte says when you get to your room.

“Yup. You would pick us up and lay us down right in the middle when we were having nightmares.”

“Mama and dada gibe us cuddles.”

You took a deep breath to try and keep the tears at bay then turned to look at Bucky. He only smiled before looking past you and toward the bathroom.

“I believe you were in this room when I called you once. You’d been back from a bad mission and had been hurt. I was ready to drive down here but you told me Bucky was taking care of you.” Eddie says from his spot.

“Dad?”

“You’d talked to me about him before but it had just been in passing. This time though, I knew something was either going on between you or something was about to happen.” He smiles at both of you. “And I was right. You sure do know how to choose them kitten, Buck here is one of the best men I’ve ever met.”

You smile and take Bucky’s hand, giving it a small squeeze.

“Go on ahead.” Your dad says and you look at him suspiciously.

When you walk out into the living room your siblings, Molly and Olivia are there. Luke is the one that speaks up.

“This is the first time we had an actual conversation with Bucky for the first time. You were still sleeping after Lottie’s birthday party. After he welcomed us in he sat us down. He warned us that he wouldn’t allow anyone to disrespect you in any way.” Luke looks between you too. “He protected you and I knew he was meant to be at your side.”

“It was low key hot.”

“So hot.”

Sofia and Molly agree and you laugh.

“Will you tell me now?” You turn to look at Bucky. Your family walked out quietly.

“One last stop.”

Henry takes Charlotte’s hand again and runs back out ahead of you. This felt like old times. The good memories outweigh the bad in this place. You let Bucky lead you out of the building and on to a golf cart. He drives past the training area and he admits he used to always check you out while you were training. The playground is next when he reminds you that it was where Henry first laughed. The jet where you watched Lottie take her first steps. You weren’t sure where he was taking you until you went further into the tree line. Bucky reminds you of the second date. One that you planned. It was just the two of you, the back of a pickup truck and music. That was the night you’d asked him to officially move into your apartment. It was also the night he asked you to adopt Lottie.

“When the hell was this built?”

“You know Tony.” Bucky replies as he stops the golf cart.

There was a huge two story house there. A dance floor took up the front yard. Fairy lights were strung up above and around the dance floor. There was a dj booth on one side, speakers surrounding the dance floor and your favorite flowers all around. You walked toward the center of the floor and looked around in awe.

“We haven’t had any memories here.”

“Not yet.” Bucky says from behind you.

When you turn to look at him he’s down on one knee. Your breath hitches as your hand rests on your chest. In one hand he holds a small box, the other reaches out to you. You take a step closer and put your hand in his.

“Everything that you saw before was just the start of us. It’s led us to this moment. Y/N, you mean so much to me. When I first left Wakanda I asked myself what reason did I have to keep fighting, to be better and there you were waiting at that door. For the first two years I tried to deny my feelings for you because I thought you deserved better, you do deserve better.” Bucky clears his throat, his eyes filling up with unshed tears. “You push me to be better, so that I can be the man you deserve. A better father and friend. You’ve been an amazing friend, girlfriend an even more incredible mother to our children and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

A few tears had already rolled down your cheeks as you waited with bated breath for what he would say next.

“Y/N will you marry me?”

“Bucky-“ you whispered, unable to get another word out you nod enthusiastically.

Bucky immediately shoots up and takes you in his arms, lifting and spinning you around as you both laugh. He sets you down and you pull him in for a hug. Bucky rests his forehead against yours.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

For just a moment you’re in your own little happy bubble soaking up the moment.

“Mama, did you say yes aweady?” Lottie called out from somewhere. You and Bucky laugh at her innocent impatience.

“Yes, I did.”

The door to the house flies open and Henry and Lottie run out. They both reach you as the rest of the team, better yet your family, walks out. You and Bucky each take turns hugging them before you turned to receive your congratulations from the group.

“Let’s see the ring.” Sofia asks as she holds your left hand only to find your finger bare.

“Oh right.”

Bucky opens the small box to reveal a beautiful gold ring. It had an oval diamond in the center with smaller stones around it, reminding you of a mosaic. Bucky takes it and slips it on your ring finger.

“Baby it’s beautiful, I love it.” You pull him in for a kiss before everyone is looking at the ring and complimenting Bucky on his choice.

“Actually I have to give credit to Charlotte. She was the one who picked it out.”

“You did?” You looked down at your daughter and she nodded excitedly.

“When did you even get this?”

“Towards the end of July. I snuck the kids out to the jewelry store in town.”

Your mouth dropped at the information.

“I was going to propose the night when we were at the restaurant on the roof of that hotel and got called back.” Bucky informs you.

“The night it happened?”

Bucky nods and you’re left speechless.

“I actually found the ring in my go bag a few days later, I’ve been holding on to it since.”

You hug him again and he holds on to you for dear life.

“Let’s celebrate the two love birds!” Tony announces as the music starts to play. He walks over to you and turns to look at the house.

“It’s lovely Tony. I didn’t know you were building yourself a separate place to live.”

“I am but this one isn’t mine. It is my engagement gift to the two of you.” Tony informs you. Both you Bucky turn to look at him better. Tony just shrugs. “I’ve been working on building houses on this land. You know, so that we can have somewhere outside of the main building to live. The apartments can be used for our most trusted agents or employees if they need it.”

“Tony, this is amazing, thank you so much.” You give him a quick hug and Bucky shakes his hand.

“Don’t mention it. I think the kiddos would love all the space to run around too don’t you think?”

“Definitely.”

Tony winks at you and walks away to find Pepper. Steve quickly takes his place.

“It was about damn time, you too.” Steve smiles brightly as he hugs first Bucky and then you.

“I’m surprised you kept it a secret.”

“Since July I might add. This is amazing, I’m so happy for you too, really.”

“Thank you Steve.”

You can’t stop smiling as your siblings and then the rest of the team come up. Eddie is the last person to congratulate you.

“My little girl is getting married, I can’t believe this.” He places a hand over his heart. “I’m so happy for you kitten. You have a good man. I don’t have to worry about you being happy.”

“Thank you daddy.” You hugged him and for a moment you felt like you were little again.

“And you,” Eddie points at Bucky. “Remember what he talked about. I won’t hesitate.”

“Yes sir. I’ll spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make her happy.”

“And yourself, Buck. Your feelings are just as important.”

“As long as I have my Sugar and my kids are by my side I’ll be as happy as can be.” Bucky said as you tucked yourself under his arm. One arm around his back the other on his chest.

“That’s all a father can hope for. But how about a dance for the newly engaged couple.”

The music changed and it was slow. Those eyes by New West starts playing. Everyone steps off of the dance floor Bucky can’t stop smiling as he leads you in the dance. You can’t help but mirror his beaming smile. When the song comes to the end Bucky dips you and connects his lips to yours. There’s whooping and hollering from all around.

The music changes again to something more upbeat. Lottie and Henry come back and the four of you dance together. Then all the women pull you away as they gush about the ring and celebrate with you.

You however can’t stop looking over your shoulder at your fiancé. It was heart stopping to think about. You’d be getting married to the love of your life. By the twinkle in his eyes it seemed like Bucky was thinking the same thing.

“Wow.” You said as you walked into your new home.

Your new home wasn’t furnished, which was fine by you, but it was incredible. The wraparound porch alone was more than enough. Immediately when you walk in is the living room to the right. On the wall is a recreation of the collage of pictures you’d had in the apartment that Bucky had made for you for Mother’s Day. The kitchen was of course state of the art and had been equipped with every gadget you could only dream of. Henry was ecstatic when he saw all of the baking supplies. There was also a breakfast nook, a formal dining room, a half bathroom, an office space and what you knew would become a playroom.

Upstairs were the bedrooms and there were plenty to go around and just in case you wanted to have more kids, which you did. Henry and Lottie chose their rooms, right next to each other of course. Everything was perfect and you couldn’t wait to make it your own.

****

Standing on the porch, Bucky had his hands on your hips and his chin resting on your shoulder. You were leaning into him completely as you watched everyone dancing and talking. All of them coming together to celebrate you and Bucky. You sigh happily. Henry and Charlotte’s laugh draws your attention. They’re in the middle of the dance floor holding hands with Olivia as they jump and dance around. You smile, seeing the pure joy on their faces. The kids call out for both of you to join them. Bucky takes your hand and leads you down to the dance floor.

Raising Henry and Lottie together only brought you an overwhelming amount of happiness. The love and joy was there. Through the ups and downs you and Bucky were side by side. You had each other’s back and there was no one else you’d rather spend the rest of your life with.

Ch 35