#moody weirdo

[tomsmusictaste]

NECK DEEP SELF-TITLED + Opening Lines

#neck deep #neck deep self titled #ndst #pop-punk #lyrics #pop-punk lyrics #album #record #opening lines #dumbstruck dumbf**k #sort yourself out #this is all my fault #we need more bricks #heartbreak of the century #go outside! #take me with you #they may not mean to (but they do) #it won't be like this forever #moody weirdo

[sorry-mydear]

Ride your own wave

Soak up the rain

Make way for the hurricane

#neck deep #moody weirdo #lyrics #photography #landscape #London

[primusliber-traduzioni]

Neck Deep - Neck Deep, traduzione testi

Hai detto che era l’ultima volta Per cui avanti, forza, vattene pure via come fanno tutte Io non ti trattengo mica Lo so che è tutta colpa mia

(da: This Is All My Fault)

1. Neck Deep – Dumbstruck Dumbfuck, traduzione

Rincoglionito ammutolito Quante cicatrici hai addosso?

Quante lacrime hai versato?

Sofferenza

Ti piace come sei?

Eh, ti piace come sei?

Faccio fatica a essere l’uomo che vuoi

Ma faccio quanto mi è possibile

Promesse

A me piace molto come sei

A me piace molto come sei Ma sono uno scemo inutile, sono sempre confuso

E non si vede nessun tipo di miglioramento

Le sue amiche dicono che può fare di meglio, per cui… Prima di arrendermi

Posso almeno avere qualcosina in ricordo prima che ci diciamo addio?

“Non sentirti così vuoto, non sentirti così morto dentro

Quelle magliette che mi hai prestato non le riavrai più indietro, addio” Non so mai quando fermarmi

Sto cercando di pensare, puoi evitare?

Un castigo

Io sto bene se stai bene tu

Eh, io sto bene se stai bene tu

Devo dire che lei è la cosa migliore che mi sia capitata

Mi crede un tipo strambo ma che sexy

Che fortunello

Mi sa che forse se lo toglie

Mi sa che forse se lo toglie Eh, sono un rincoglionito ammutolito, la testa tipo un camion da cantiere

Ah, e più parli meno io ascolto

Non riesco a non pensare a cosa ti perdi, per cui… Prima di arrendermi

Posso almeno avere qualcosina in ricordo prima che ci diciamo addio?

“Non sentirti così vuoto, non sentirti così morto dentro

Quelle magliette che mi hai prestato non le riavrai più indietro, addio” Allora, ti piace come sei?

A me piace molto come sei

E io sto bene se stai bene tu

Mi sa che forse la tronca qui Prima di arrendermi

Posso almeno avere qualcosina in ricordo prima che ci diciamo addio? Prima di arrendermi

Posso almeno avere qualcosina in ricordo prima che ci diciamo addio?

“Non sentirti così vuoto, non sentirti così morto dentro

Quelle magliette che mi hai prestato non le riavrai più indietro, addio

Non le riavrai più indietro, addio” 2. Neck Deep – Sort Yourself Out, traduzione

Mettiti a posto Ti sei accorta di come mi sento?

Ho pensato che magari ti sentissi così anche tu

Rivado indietro e perdo la cognizione, per cui mi ripeto di nuovo

Io ho commesso degli errori, tu hai infranto delle promesse

Potrei vincere una cazzo di medaglia per quello che passa più tempo a scusarsi, scusarsi, scusarsi Potrei prenderle dei fiori, ma non funziona mai, cazzo

È come una pistola carica, è come la dinamite e un fiammifero per lei

Mi sa che si può dire che lei è esplosiva

Mi fa “caro mio, sei corrosivo, mettiti a posto, mettiti a posto” Accorgiti di me

Sono qui che cerco disperatamente di trovare una certezza

Non so se posso essere io la tua tranquillità

Non sarò mai, non sarò mai quello che vuoi se non ti fidi di me

Quindi come sarà?

Dimmi chi sei, e dimmi cosa pensi davvero

Dimmi cosa pensi davvero Potrei prenderle dei fiori, ma non funziona mai, cazzo

È come una pistola carica, è come la dinamite e un fiammifero per lei

Mi sa che si può dire che lei è esplosiva

Mi fa “caro mio, sei corrosivo, mettiti a posto, mettiti a posto” E a essere sinceri, in realtà non c’entra granché coi fiori del cazzo

Quando resti in piedi per ore a non fare niente

A pensare al futuro, cazzo

È un karma-sutra mentale

Mettiti a posto, mettiti a posto Potrei prenderle dei fiori, ma non funziona mai, cazzo

È come una pistola carica, è come la dinamite e un fiammifero per lei

Mi sa che si può dire che lei è esplosiva

Mi fa “caro mio, sei corrosivo, mettiti a posto, mettiti a posto” E a essere sinceri, in realtà non c’entra granché coi fiori del cazzo

Quando resti in piedi per ore a non fare niente

Scolata tutta la mia kombucha, cazzo

Fai finta di niente solo perché ti va bene

Mettiti a posto, mettiti a posto 3. Neck Deep – This Is All My Fault, traduzione

È tutta colpa mia Prima di trarre conclusioni affrettate

Possiamo tenere a mente certe tendenze distruttive e il fallimento del nostro progetto?

Sto pensando di costruirti una nuova replica perfetta

Pensa e ha sentimenti come me, ma non è altrettanto patetica

Non voglio litigare di nuovo

Ho perso tutto il rispetto che avevo nei miei confronti

Il mio egoismo lo lascio fuori dalla porta Basta con le mie tristi scuse

Ti sto dicendo la triste verità

Tu l’hai sempre saputo, l’hai sempre saputo… Che a me non resta più niente

Non si può trarre in salvo quello che non si trova

E anche se ce l’hai messa tutta

Hai detto che era l’ultima volta

Per cui avanti, forza, vattene pure via come fanno tutte

Io non ti trattengo mica

Lo so che è tutta colpa mia Prima che mi fai a pezzetti

Sai dirmi perché sono sempre fuori di me?

E ho solo bisogno di un po’ di tempo per ripigliarmi

E dopo sicuramente torno strisciando

Ma se mi accetti o meno, non dipende da me I miei buoni propositi sul muro

Segreti raccontati nel bagno

Cosa posso fare?

Tu l’hai sempre saputo… Che a me non resta più niente

Non si può trarre in salvo quello che non si trova

E anche se ce l’hai messa tutta

Hai detto che era l’ultima volta

Per cui avanti, forza, vattene pure via come fanno tutte

Io non ti trattengo mica

Lo so che è tutta colpa mia E poi è diventato tutto nero

Nient’altro

Non ha scritto altro

No, non posso avercela con te per aver cercato di cancellarmi

Se fossi in te me ne sarei andato pure io A me non resta più niente

Non si può trarre in salvo quello che non si trova

E anche se ce l’hai messa tutta

Hai detto che era l’ultima volta

Per cui avanti, forza, vattene pure via come fanno tutte

Io non ti trattengo mica

Lo so che è tutta colpa mia

È tutta colpa mia 4. Neck Deep – We Need More Bricks, traduzione

Ci servono altri mattoni Un sintomo dello stato

Una conseguenza della follia

Un senso schiacciante di tristezza sottostante

La pioggia guastafeste inzuppa solo le votazioni

I ragazzi sono belli svegli e infuriano contro il palazzo

Qualcuno ci salvi Ti devi rialzare quando sei stato a terra

C’è una scintilla, c’è una luce, c’è una voglia, c’è una via d’uscita

Potrebbe essere una figata, potrebbe essere una bomba

Non è giusto e non è così che deve andare

Ci serve più fotta e ci serve più fegato

Ci servono altri punk e ci servono altri mattoni La prossima emergenza può essere una tragedia solo fino a un certo punto

Un’opportunità per la prossima tattica di distrazione

Si prendono la colpa le vittime quando gli stronzi vengono beccati con le mani nel sacco

E non cercare i tuoi figli perché questa barca l’abbiamo circondata

Qualcuno ci salvi Ti devi rialzare quando sei stato a terra

C’è una scintilla, c’è una luce, c’è una voglia, c’è una via d’uscita

Potrebbe essere una figata, potrebbe essere una bomba

Non è giusto e non è così che deve andare

Ci serve più fotta e ci serve più fegato

Ci servono altri punk e ci servono altri mattoni Già, ci servono altri punk

E ci servono altri cani che abbaiano

E ci servono altri cani che mordono

Solo perché non capita davanti a casa tua non vuol dire che è tutto a posto

Non vuol dire che è tutto a posto

Dobbiamo far andare le cose a posto noi

Dobbiamo far andare noi Ti devi rialzare quando sei stato a terra

C’è una scintilla, c’è una luce, c’è una voglia, c’è una via d’uscita

Potrebbe essere una figata, potrebbe essere una bomba

Non è giusto e non è così che deve andare

Ci serve più fotta e ci serve più fegato

Ci servono altri punk e ci servono altri

Ti devi rialzare quando sei stato a terra

C’è una scintilla, c’è una luce, c’è una voglia, c’è una via, c’è una via d’uscita 5. Neck Deep – Heartbreak of the Century, traduzione

Spezzacuore del secolo La distrazione sarà la mia morte

La supposizione è la madre di tutte le cappellate

E io sto supponendo che le cose stiano tutte funzionando

Ma non sarà la prima volta che mi sbaglio su di te Sei davvero intelligente

Ma il mio amore non basta proprio

Tesoro, non c’è problema

Tanto stavo già pensando di andare a farmi fottere Non è da me essere così debole

Mi hai proprio conciato, mi hai ferito gravemente

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo Con affetto, me l’hai proprio messa nel culo

La depressione è il tarlo che mi rode che non riesco a reprimere

E sento la disperazione

Non riconosco più la faccia che mi ricambia lo sguardo Sei sicura che non può essere come prima?

Ogni segnale che hai mandato non l’ho proprio colto e non ha centrato di nuovo il punto Non è da me essere così debole

Mi hai proprio conciato, mi hai ferito gravemente

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo

Scusarsi, scusarsi non funziona proprio

Lei se ne va

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo Mi hai proprio, mi hai proprio conciato

Mi hai ferito, mi hai ferito gravemente

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo Non è da me essere così debole

Mi hai proprio conciato, mi hai ferito gravemente

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo

Scusarsi, scusarsi non funziona proprio

Lei se ne va

È sinceramente, probabilmente lo spezzacuore del secolo 6. Neck Deep – Go Outside!, traduzione

Vai fuori! Dovrei uscire, prendere un po’ d’aria

Prima che entri tu e mi vedi ancora in questo stato

Dovrei far finta che non c’è niente che non va

Ma non sono così grande e non sono così forte

Mi sono tenuto tutto dentro fin troppo tempo

E quindi lo faccio uscire, mi metto in imbarazzo

E cerco di tener duro perché non posso mollare adesso Salvami, mi sono smarrito

Per cui ti scongiuro di dire il mio nome

Tiramene fuori

Riportami a quando mi sentivo io, quando mi sentivo io Dovrei fare un bel respiro, togliermi questo peso

Dovrei dirti tutto quanto, ma non sono ancora pronto

Dovrei aprirmi

Dovrei accoglierti

Non dovrei preoccuparmi di cosa pensano tutti, ma lo faccio

È la triste verità

Mi sento proprio trasparente Salvami, mi sono smarrito

Per cui ti scongiuro di dire il mio nome

Tiramene fuori

Riportami a quando mi sentivo io E ah, è come se fossi caduto nella botola

La mia ombra è lunghissima

Vengo risucchiato dalla marea

Non ci sono più posti in cui nascondersi

Forse dovrei uscire e prendere un po’ d’aria Salvami, mi sono smarrito

Per cui ti scongiuro di dire il mio nome

Tiramene fuori

Riportami a quando mi sentivo io 7. Neck Deep – Take Me with You, traduzione

Portami con te C’è nessuno là fuori?

Su una navicella dallo spazio

Eh, io lo so che ci siete là fuori

Vi vedo vicino ai laghi

Allora, avete intenzione di scendere quaggiù?

Avete intenzione di farvi vedere in faccia?

Perché io devo sapere che non siamo soli

Devo sapere che non è un drone

(È un drone anche stavolta) Faccio senza bici per portarlo a casa

Quando prendiamo il volo, prendila con calma

Da dove venga, questo non lo so

Tu però portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te che ne ho davvero abbastanza di ‘sto pianeta

Fa schifo, sì, tenetevelo pure voi

Io darei volentieri un’occhiata dentro al tuo UFO

Portami con te quando te ne vai C’è nessuno là fuori?

Perché se sì, io vengo in pace

Eh, io lo so che ci siete là fuori

Ma la cosa non mi crea problemi

Allora, venite e portate il culo quaggiù

Facciamo stralunare gli stralunati

E se per voi va bene resto con voi

Perché queste cose non sono da me

(Io so la verità) Faccio senza bici, faccio senza telefono

Questo non è un episodio di X-Files

Ha detto che ha spazio per il viaggio verso casa

Ti prego, portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te che ne ho davvero abbastanza di ‘sto pianeta

Fa schifo, sì, tenetevelo pure voi

Io darei volentieri un’occhiata dentro al tuo UFO

Portami con te quando te ne vai, quando te ne vai Magari possiamo saltare sulla navicella spaziale e guardare che salta in aria

Perché indietro non si torna

La valigia è fatta

Tanti saluti, sacco infernale di spazzatura in fiamme

Pigia il pulsante che fa esplodere tutto quanto

Portami con te quando te ne vai C’è nessuno là fuori?

C’è nessuno là fuori? Portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te che ne ho davvero abbastanza di ‘sto pianeta

Fa schifo, sì, tenetevelo pure voi

Ti andrebbe di farmi guidare a me l’UFO?

Portami con te quando te ne vai

Portami con te quando te ne vai 8. Neck Deep – They May Not Mean To (But They Do), traduzione

Magari non fanno apposta (ma lo fanno) Buona fortuna, piccolo peccatore

Mi hanno trascinato in chiesa a mangiare Gesù Cristo

So essere un po’ pessimista

So essere un po’ critico a volte

Non riesci a dormire, per cui bisbigli

Adesso mi accorgo di tutte quelle piccole bugie

Ma io cosa ne sapevo?

Ma adesso ho capito Scusate se vi ho fatto piangere quelle volte che sono venuti gli sbirri

La mamma ci ha provato, la mamma ci ha provato Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno Non avete tirato sù uno che molla

Ci sono ancora sotto e mi sa che mi ucciderà pure

Mi sono visto allo specchio

E per un attimo avrei giurato che fossi tu

Mi avete visto sbagliare un colpo banale

Non mi sono perso una partita per tutto questo tempo

Non me ne fregava niente di chi vinceva

Non ha importanza, basta che siete orgogliosi E anche se litigavamo, so che avevano ragione, so che avevano ragione Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

Fai quello che dico, non quello che faccio

Quando avevo la tua età ero proprio come te Ma quindi hanno dato troppo amore?

Oppure non abbastanza?

Lo sai che non è colpa loro perché siamo tutti incasinati Quei ragazzi saranno la vostra morte

Erano così dolci, ma poi sono cresciuti

E adesso sono incasinati proprio come voi Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Magari non fanno apposta, ma lo fanno

Ti incasinano la vita i tuoi genitori

“Ti voglio bene, figlio mio”

Sì, anch’io ti voglio bene

Quando diventerò grande sarò proprio come te 9. Neck Deep – It Won’t Be Like This Forever, traduzione

Non sarà così per sempre Sai che non sarà così

Non sarà così per sempre

Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi la solitudine Sto cercando di avere un po’ di fiducia e di mantenere la calma

Ma non sono sicuro di poter dire che mi sento meglio

Dai, non fare così il pessimista

Poi tutte queste cose ti mancheranno

Tesoro, io spero che ti calmi e che ti tiri un po’ sù Sai che non sarà così

Non sarà così per sempre

Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi la solitudine

Sai che non sarà così

Non sarà così per sempre

Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi la solitudine Magari un giorno posso stare come stavo prima

Un lunedì io sono la pioggia e tu sei il petricore

Dai, non fare così il solipsista, non sei mica l’unico al mondo

Tesoro, io spero che quello che era un tempo non sia andato perduto Sai che non sarà così

Non sarà così per sempre

Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi la solitudine

Sai che non sarà così

Non sarà così per sempre

Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi, che si consolidi la solitudine Sai, ci potrei provare a spiegarlo, ma è che è troppo complicato

A volte mi sembra una maledizione

È il male, Dio se lo odio

È un azzardo, tesoro, ma secondo me ce la facciamo

Ci arriveremo un giorno

E giuro che non sarà così

No, non sarà così

No, non sarà così

No, non sarà così Solo un tuo bacio potrebbe evitare che si consolidi la solitudine 10. Neck Deep – Moody Weirdo, traduzione

Strano lunatico Bambino interiore, trappola difensiva

Contrattaccare il tuo assedio

Gatto smunto, peli del collo irti

Mordere le mani che sfamano

Un vero peccato, uno spreco tremendo

Che diavolo di modo di salvare la faccia

Bambino interiore, tranquillo, tranquillo Devi fare un passettino ogni giorno

Non resistere al cambiamento

Tu di’ quello che hai da dire

Cavalca la tua onda

Assorbi la pioggia

Fai spazio per l’uragano Uomo vuoto che morde il proprio dolore, fa una scenata

Non riesce a dormire

Il treno ad alta velocità fa perdere la pazienza al temporeggiamento

Il settimo giorno passato a litigare col bambino nella cornice della foto

Me la prendo io la colpa

Se tu potessi sentirmi, io dovrei dire che… Devi fare un passettino ogni giorno

Non resistere al cambiamento

Tu di’ quello che hai da dire

Cavalca la tua onda

Assorbi la pioggia

Fai spazio per l’uragano

Un passo ogni giorno

Non resistere al cambiamento, non resistere, non resistergli

Cavalca la tua onda

Assorbi la pioggia

Fai spazio per l’uragano Non ho ragionato

Sono stato uno stupido

È stato per paura

E non penso di potercela fare senza averti qui

Cosa ci vorrebbe per cancellare tutti i miei sbagli e farti cambiare idea?

Non penso di potercela fare, ma penso che devo farcela Devi fare un passettino ogni giorno

Non resistere al cambiamento

Tu di’ quello che hai da dire

Cavalca la tua onda

Assorbi la pioggia

Fai spazio per l’uragano

Un passo ogni giorno

Non resistere al cambiamento, non resistere, non resistergli

Cavalca la tua onda

Assorbi la pioggia

Fai spazio per l’uragano

Fai spazio per l’uragano

#neck deep #dumbstruck dumbfuck #dumbstruck dumbf**k #sort yourself out #this is all my fault #we need more bricks #heartbreak of the century #go outside! #take me with you #they may not mean to (but they do) #they may not mean to but they do #it won't be like this forever #moody weirdo

[batgeance]

that time during quarantine where rpatz almost burned down his kitchen in the middle of an interview. yeah.

#the way that rpatz is weird is exactly how battinson is weird #everyone thinks he's cool and aloof and moody and tall/dark/handsome #sure but he's also a fucking weirdo #in case you haven't noticed i'm weird. i'm a weirdo. i don't fit in and i don't want to fit in. #have you ever seen me without this stupid cowl on? that's weird #the accidental tism rizz goes hard!

[rottentiger-art]

What if Quinn is pregnant so maybe stress of big wedding and just finding out she is pregnant maybe is reason she possibly runs

this is the second ask I receive with this theory, omg staaap I'm gonna get my hopes up.

It's unproveable, but I would take that before them fighting or not being dure about wanting to marry each other. Like, c'mon, they've been together for 15 years, and I hate the runaway bride trope so much, specially when it's a long term relationship, like you were committed to each other already what does a piece of paper change?

Besides Logan and Quinn had been from the very start of a relationship a prime example of a healthy relationship that knows how to communicate and problem-solve together, and that was while they were just teens, you mean to tell me they backtracked on maturity as adults? c'mon

Like yea, I'd take the pregnancy before that.

And I'm tired of everyone wished to go back to HS or has a 30 crisis trope, like yea it happens, but ppl thrive at 30 too, and Quogan were the most probable of the cast (along with Lola) to have their lives figured out and thriving at that age. I don't wanna see Quinn or Logan being like "ohhh life was better in high-school", like it's clear Zoey is the loser here okay? not my ship.

Also omg I'm imagining a quogan baby and crying, so cute.

#ask box #anon #quogan #sorry for the little ramble but I'm kinda moody and the runaway bride trope really get's on my nerves #logan x quinn #quinn x logan #logan reese #quinn pensky #zoey 102 #zoey 101 #I found out about JLS book and I'm moody bc now I know what kind of person she is #and found out she is a producer on the movie so that demotivated me a bit about the movie #like she is so self centered ofc she would try to make q and l look like losers too or smth bc she wants Zoey to save the day and shit #ughhh #can't stand that blonde weirdo this is now a JLS hate account omg #like seriously her own book made me despise her #like omggggg HOW DO YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK BAD ON YOUR OWN BOOK #this is so unrelated to the ask and i'm so sorry but OMGGGG

[whizpurr]

#this now a mood that will happen friday-sun since thats when papa is off work and would be best for baby to show up #sucks that weirdos ruined daddy so it sounds weird when i am talking about my childs father cutely #but my man likes papa more anyway so its okay 🤗 we at week 39 now and i am grumpy and moody 🥲 #and stressing out about room situations and moving stuff around wahhhgggg #i think ima end up w some peak irony and go into labor on labor day tbh tho bc thats smack in between the 2 predicted dates i was given

[adlamu]

new neck deep album fucks so hard. fuckin' love the wrecsam bois.

#newtrabble #go outside! and moody weirdo are the best tracks

[mainfaggot]

I wanna kill myself

#in both a serious and unserious way #the serious way is bc i feel like i keep massively fucking myself over which affects my parents and sisters too and i cant get myself to be #realistic and healthily optimistic like im so fucking pessimistic it's a major concern #the unserious way is way more funny im so fucked guys 😭😭😭😭 #this crush is so pathetic. more dire than last time #i just stopped functioning i couldn't get more than ONE SENTENCE out to her even tho i ended up sitting across from her holy shit she #probably thinks im some moody weirdo bc last time i was malfunctioning but super enthusiastic and this time #i was like . quiet. and just. shy in a way that made me feel uncomfortable so why wouldn't it extend to her #this morning i was like idk what the point of anything is. why am i even trying to befriend her #wont this just end stupidly like last time i had a crush in uni? like the time before that in high school? #i have nothing to offer like lets say by some grand miracle she and i study together we get friendly we become #acquaintances and then it turns out shes also Interested in me #then what???? what do i have that she doesn't already have in her life??? #i feel like i cant GIVE anything all i do is impose myself upon people #like deal with [this] -> me and all my baggage #and its like okay if she likes You she'll gladly deal w the rest but thats the thing why would she even LIKE ME #what. do i have but a shell. #an image. #i have nothing but neuroticism and depression underneath #thats what it feels like although realistically that cant be fully true #and also isnt it superficial of me to have a crush on her? all i know is that shes beautiful she speaks spanish so well and that shes quiet #in the way thats charming and im kind of afraid of disturbing her peace #z.post

[rayvern-sheep]

Oh Keevan ;-;

#shut up ray #I got attached to the evil purple weirdo #he’s just so moody and look at them eyes

[timkontheunsure]

Queer secondary adolescence and Stolas

(I keep forgetting to put this up here)

Ok, so Stolas being teen dad is one of the reasons I get annoyed when people say he's too horny with Blitz. Or that his relationship is too dramatic and teenager-y.

He's a queer guy who never got to be a teenager, didn't get to have a first boyfriend, or explore who he was. Or do any of the normal stuff most straight teenagers get to do.

His family stuffed him in the closet, forced him to have child, and gave him an abusive wife as jailer.

(He around 36, with a 17 year old daughter. 36−17=19 when Octavia was born. Likely married at 18).

He's got some chatting up to do.

Up till now his whole life's been about Via, and mitigating Stella's abuse to hid it from Via.

That's left him barely hanging on, taking an increasing amount of antidepressants; and singing lullabies about not being sure he'll make it till Via's grown up.... 🙁

There's this thing called second adolescence that alot of queer people experience, when they come out later in life.

It happens when they're weren't allowed to do normal teenage things at the right age. So things like having crushes, go on first dates, have extremely anxious dramatic relationships. As well just be a normal horny teenager.

Stolas got to do none of that. So he's doing it now.

He's also pretty obviously an autistic guy (separate post ), who didn't get well socialized as a child.

Blitz appears to have been his first and only really friend.

Stolas is not great at social cues. (He's so happy to be able to help with his special interest, but does realise his tone is upsetting Ozzie).

Even with Via he struggles to understand her. She needs to tell her dad flat out what she needs.

When she tries to be subtle, and snark he assumes it's just her being a moody teen. And that she'll enjoy loo loo land when she loosen up a bit.

Because of this lack Stolas mostly fills in gaps in his social experience with masking.

Such copying Gabriel hairstyle from helluva novella to get ready for his first ever date.

Following Blitz's lead of what to do in an uncomfortable situation.

And trying to match the energy of how Blitz first came on to him.

(He's definitely getting better at it from Blitz reaction).

There's also an idea in CBT called reparenting your inner child. Which about giving yourself some the support, and experiences you missed out on because of abuse.

Stolas needs to go through his secondary adolescence as part of his recovery from his abuse.

So let Stolas be a little horny weirdo. 😛

PS this one will brake you heart. Stolas is standing fully in both these pictures.

You can see how much he's grown by her light switch.

Kid hasn't even reached his full adult height yet when he had to have a kid.

#helluva boss #blitzo x stolas #stolitz #Mostly rambling but this does bug me #Youtube

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Pregnancy Dramas

—Things you faced when you were carrying their child

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Fyodor, Kunikida X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Mainly Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Pregnancy, Pregnancy problems, Cravings, etc

Word Count: 1.4k

↳Osamu Dazai

If anyone had told Dazai that he would eventually settle down with someone, he would have merely laughed at them; but there he was, standing next to the infirmary bed while looking at you, his beloved wife, who was carrying his baby.

You were now three months pregnant, your belly shaped into a cute bump. You both agreed to not know about the gender of your baby till it finally arrives, therefor, whenever you went to a sonography you only asked the doctor if the baby was ok and refused to gain any more information. You were feeling sick a while ago so Dazai hurried to the hospital to show you to a doctor, and now you were waiting for the result.

The doctor smiled at Dazai's worried face and put the sonography results on the desk. "You're very attentive toward your wife's health condition, but these kind of problems are common during pregnancy. I'll give you some medicine to kill the pain, though I assure you, all four of them are fine"

"Thank you so much, doc—"

You suddenly froze. Looking at your husband and catching a glimpse of his shocked face, you turned your face toward the doctor. "How... How many?"

"Ah, you're carrying triplets, right?"

Shit.

"T-there has to be some kind of mistake, sir" You were now stuttering over your words and Dazai was still silently staring at the doctor with the same expression. "I mean we didn't want to know anything about our baby until it's born but— TRIPLETS? MY FUCKING VAGINA IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"

"I'll... give you a minute..."

As the doctor left the room, you covered your mouth with your hand. "Aren't you going to say something...?"

"I... guess we'll have to ask Kunikida to be the godfather..."

"So that we raise the kids with his money?"

"Yeah"

"Well, sounds like a plan"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

"Sob* this cake is sob* delicious..."

Chuuya had always had a hard time understanding people around him since they were all a bunch of weirdos, and ever since you showed him the result of your pregnancy test, he couldn't really get you either.

"Yeah... I would have believed you if you weren't crying while eating it" He shook his head with disappointment as he reached for the cake tray, but you snatched it away and shot him a threatening look. "DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY CAKES. THEY'RE ALL MINE!"

"Ok ok, geez..."

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Nothing! Eat your cakes!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I eat my cakes whenever I want to!"

"Do whatever you want y/n"

You shoved the rest of the cakes in your mouth, and your sobs got even louder. "I'm sob* gonna get nom nom* fat... Waaaa this is so tasty... sob*"

Chuuya thought of leaving the room, but that could make you even angrier.

"It's all your fault that I'm fat since you're the one who got me pregnant in the first place!"

"I'm not complaining baby doll, you look even prettier like this..."

"SO NOW YOU WANT ME TO BE FAT?"

"My god that's not what I fucking meant!"

During these few months, you had become overly sensitive and moody. He really was the one to blame— Chuuya did knew that; but sometimes he lost control and snapped out, like now. Though the second he saw your teary eyes, he sighed and leaned to plant a kiss on your cheek. "I'm sorry honey... What can I do to make you feel better?"

"...More cakes please?"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

You were lying on the couch and Fyodor was sitting on the floor with his head on your belly, wearing a soft smile that made your heart flutter. He had become extra sweet with you since the day you got pregnant, so despite all the pain and trouble you were going through, you didn't want these days to be over.

"Are you sure she's going to kick?" he held your hand gently and lightly kissed your palm.

"Positive. I mean, I kinda have the feeling... You know, motherly instinct and stuff..."

"Then I shall wait a little longer" He closed his eyes and started stroking your hand with his thumb. You couldn't help but to reach out for his cheek with your free hand to caress it, and you almost died when he leaned to your touch.

"Fedya..." "I love you too, my darling"

Then it happened.

A light kick indirectly hitting his head, announcing her presence to her daddy.

Fyodor smiled, a dazzling one that was rare and charming to the eye, and looked at your belly. "My... Our baby is a wild one. That was one aggressive kick"

"I'm sure she's just impatient" Giggling softly, you patted your belly. "She's not aggressive, she only wants to arrive soon. Our baby will be an angel"

"She will be; she takes after her mother, after all"

You closed your eyes at the feeling of his lips pressed against your forehead, thankful for your lovely family. You went through a lot to get to this moment, but you could never regret it even one bit. Not when you have Fyodor, and your soon-to-be-born baby.

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Safe and sound sleeps had always been a stranger to Akutagawa. Growing up in the slums, he had to sleep with his eyes open so that he would be ready when a threat came along; and even though he was not living in the slums anymore, he still couldn't get much of a sleep.

You wouldn't let him.

"Ryuu" You shook him lightly, watching as his nose scrunched up with annoyance. He seemed put out and he didn't even open his eyes, talking to you with a low, husky voice. "What?"

"I want fried chicken"

You observed him as his eyes shot open and stared at your serious face with disbelief. He looked kind of shocked, and you wondered if he was familiar with the term "Craving".

"Y/n it's 4am" He sounded unsure. "All of the stores have closed by now"

"I'm pregnant with a seven months old baby Ryuunosuke, I don't care if it's 4am"

"Well I'm not going out right now either" He closed his eyes again, trying to go back to sleep; but your sudden remark suddenly sobered him up.

"Fine then, I guess I'll just have to eat you instead of the chicken"

Your tone was not humorous, nor it was threatening. It was more like you were announcing your next steps if you don't get your way.

"I don't think I'm enough to satisfy you. I'm all bones, barely any flesh"

"Then I'll eat your sister. She's not as skinny as you. She's living next door, isn't she?"

Looking at you again, Akutagawa searched for a hint of humor in your eyes to confirm that you were joking; but all he saw was a dangerous gaze, shooting out of a hungry, pregnant woman's vicious eyes.

"...I'll go get my coat"

↳Doppo Kunikida

"Y/n? Where are you?"

Hearing your husbands voice, you get up and exit the bedroom to greet him at the front door of your apartment. You announced your pregnancy to him last night, making him thrilled to bits. After celebrating with you, he had started planning out the ideal schedule for the nine months ahead. He had left you hours ago to go shopping for necessary items, and now he was finally back.

"Welcome home, Anata" You pecked him on the cheek. "So? What did you buy? Lemme see them"

The blonde smiled and took your hand, dragging you inside the living room to sit on the couch. He then started taking his purchases out of the shopping bags, explaining about them with slight excitement.

"This is a medicine to help you stop vomiting, this device is baby sleep that would inform us when the baby wakes up in it's room, and these are some clothes that I bought for the baby. I tried to buy neutral clothes since we still don't know the gender of our baby"

"Oh Doppo, I think it's still too soon to buy some of these" You chuckled and took the small shirt to have a better look of it. Its small size made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were having a baby that probably looked like your husband. You finally had a family of your own. Nothing could stop you from being happy. Nothing...

"And these are for when your body gets bigger"

You looked at the pregnancy pants in his hands. "When my body gets bigger?"

"Yes"

NOTHING CAN STOP YOU FROM BEING HAPPY.

"Your ankles are gonna swell, your breast are gonna get bigger, even your face might get a bit out of shape in the last month. Your cheeks might bloat as well too. There will also be stretch marks on your belly, and your vagina might dilate if you choose not to have a caesarean... ARE THOSE TEARS IN YOUR EYES??"

All rights reserved © 2023 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bungou stray dogs #bsd scenarios #bsd fluff #dazai x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor x y/n #fyodor x you #akutagawa x you #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa x y/n #kunikida x reader #kunikida x y/n #kunikida x you #dazai fluff #chuuya fluf #fyodor fluff #akutagawa fluff #kunikida fluff #dazai imagines #fyodor imagines #chuuya imagines #akutagawa imagines

[sorry-mydear]

You gotta take one small step every day

Don't fight the change

Just say what you have to say

Ride your own wave

Soak up the rain

Make way for the hurricane

#very rare sighting of me #probably will delete #selfie #neck deep #moody weirdo #excuse my wonky photos #pop punk

[puppetwoman17]

I’ve been wanting to talk about this but I thought it would sound weird and kinda Mary Sue like! Glad to hear that I’m not the only one.

I’m very adamant on Cap being a pillar in not only the magic community(cause of his Champion role obviously) but the hero community as well. He’s well-known for his heroics and impossible stories about battling sentient worms and being diplomatic with alien dinosaurs.

He’s also loved for the advice he gives. All Billy wants to do is bring smiles to these peoples’ days. He dishes out advice like it’s candy and always sees the good in people. He’s great at looking at situations through multiple viewpoints and understanding everyone’s thought processes. This in particular helps with the Superman and Superboy problem. He tells both of them individually that both of their hardships are valid. Clark is allowed to feel violated because his DNA was stolen and mutated in a way that was against his consent. Connor never asked to be created, always wanting Superman’s love but never receiving it.

They reconcile, and Billy doesn’t think much of it, because it’s what anyone would do, right? No biggie. He even does something similar with Red Arrow, convincing him that he’s not just a clone. He’s his own person. He built his own life. He has his own achievements. He shouldn’t feel bad for any of this because none of it was in his control. And Roy is so damn grateful because it feels like a weight has been taken off his shoulders.

Marvel just shrugs. No biggie.

He talks Leaguers through both personal and professional problems and guides them onto a simple, honest path because adults make everything so damn complicated so why can’t you just sit THE FUCK DOWN—

Ahem.

So he helps with that too. No biggie, right? Just another good deed.

He expands his one-way business to other teams too, like the JSA, the YJ team, the Teen Titans, etc. Spends time with each of them, helps them solve their own problems whether they’re big or small.

No biggie, right?

Fucking. Wrong.

The world of heroes absolutely adores him! The other hero teams look to him like he’s the cool uncle. Despite no one knowing jackshit about his personal life, they trust him wholeheartedly. They know he’s got their back.

That’s actually what hurts, tho. Whenever anyone asks him about his life outside the cape, he gets tongue-tied. Panicked. Silent. Doesn’t say a word until a new topic is brought up and then changes wheels like it’s nothing. It hurts, knowing he doesn’t trust them. They know it’s stupid, he never had obligations to tell them anything about the real him, but it stings. Where does he go when he isn’t Cap? Does he have family? A lover? Hobbies? Pets? Why is he like a brick wall with them? Did they do something wrong?

Things get especially annoying when characters like Booster Gold(from the future) and Doctor Fate(Lord of Order, basically on the same pedestal as the Champion) know his identity and don’t even bother to hide that fact. Leaguers will frequently catch Booster making knowing jabs at the Captain, winking and saying strange things that get the Captain riled up and shaking his head profusely. Nabu is no help either, with Leaguers catching him and Marvel quietly conversing. When someone, say, Barry, shows up, Marvel stops talking.

It fucking hurts. A lot. And Billy doesn’t even notice the looks of jealousy cast at his future teammate and fellow Lord by his coworkers. The YJ team is not taking that shit because that is their den dad. Diana doesn’t appreciate that these strangers know more about her brother than she does. Flash is all confused and slightly annoyed because when are they gonna play another prank on Hal? Is he just gonna keep talking to those weirdos all day? And the next?

Billy’s honestly just happy to be here. He never thought he’d get past the age of ten, so doing all of this, helping these heroes while learning more about himself, is just great. He’s speedrunning his way through every moody, self-righteous, hurt, traumatized hero with no sweat on his back.

So yeah, he is beloved and he doesn’t even know it. You betcha that when Cap’s identity is revealed, everyone goes full mama bear/papa bear/protective older brother or sister on him. No way is he leaving without supervision.

Nabu and Booster are rolling their eyes cause hello? That’s the Champion of Magic. If anything, he’s the one they should be worried about.

Yeah, they are politely asked to leave after that. Anyhow Billy, wanna go get some hot chocolate 😘😍

Excuse the word vomit.

#billy batson #justice league #captain marvel #dc universe #shazam #doctor fate #booster gold #protective justice league #young justice

[we-fancy-you]

Weirdo

Kuroo tetsuro x f!reader We all know how childish Kuroo sometimes may be, but just know that you won't take his shit every time. NSFW 18+ only established relationship, unprotected sex, creampie, riding, teasing a lot, overstimulation, timeskip!kuroo it's pretty vanilla smut

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t push like that!” you said while walking to the bathroom. “I’m sorry.” He said with a lying smirk on his face. “You’re not sorry at all! It’s written all over your face!” He gave a soft snicker before groping your but. “Tetsuro! I am serious! You can’t just do this to me when we are having a serious conversatio- “he was mimicking you with a lousy expression while his hand is mocking your mouth. Knitting your eyebrows together you planned on calling him out for it. As a small feeling of rage bubbled in your stomach and you could almost see red.

For some annoying reason he always did this. Whenever I pointed something about the past week that I didn’t like, out. He would start acting like a horny moody teenager.

“Babe, you take life too seriously. Can’t you just let it go?” “You know what you should do. You should grab the spare blanket and pillow because you’re not sleeping in the same bed as me tonight.”  You puffed out. The burning heat in your veins hadn’t cooled off yet and you were stomping out of the room.

“Ahh, don’t say that. You know you can’t sleep without me.” Even though that’s partly true, your pride didn’t give in. He was being a total jerk and you needed to put him in his place. “I am going to give you a nice one to the jaw. Then were going to see what you need.” “I honestly think you can’t even reach my shoulder from down there.”

That’s it, you couldn’t do it. As your face flushed beat red and felt like had gasoline on it waiting to be lit and set everything a blaze. “You.” you slowly turned around on your heels and looked him dead in the eye. He didn’t flinch a bit and only had that stupid fuck boy smirk displayed on his face. The one that says ‘hey to yah sexy ladies. If anyone want some good dick tonight. Hit me up.’

“What did you just say?” Even though everything of your body was burning. Your voice could make Antarctica gasp. “See you have to even bend your neck to look at me now. How are you going to hit me?” Even though this bastard had the same height as a windmill you weren’t scared off by his petty insults. You pushed him as hard as you could against the wall and pulled him down his collar. “You listen here you little shit, I know you have a hard life with all your work and sport on the side but guess what.” You pulled him so close. Your breath was dancing against his. As much as you hated him, he knew how to turn you on and that ruined hairstyle was doing it.

“I too have a job, and yes work out.” He laughed at that part, the hard and ha! Type of kind. “You working out? I think I have a bigger chance of winning the lottery than to see you working out.”

Another vein in on your forehead pulsed with irritation.

“How did you get so full of yourself? Huh? Was it the old ladies that called you handsome? Because I can promise you, they are blind.”

“No, it’s the fact that you always get wet when we fight.”  As you two were in such a heating argument you didn’t notice his long slender fingers travel to my lower parts. The tip of his index finger suddenly pressed on your clothed clit, and a jolt of pleasure hit your body. Gasping and closing your eyes, his other hand brushed the hair out of your face. “You really are the worst.” You huffed out.

With his big arms he picked you up and walked to the bed. He gently placed you down and was about hover over you when you pushed him back. “You know” he looked confused but listened because he obviously wanted to do something about that tent set up in his pants. “Why do you think you are allowed on top? Hmm. You have been very rude and now all of a sudden you want to use me? No.” you slowly whispered in his ear. You got up pushed him down once more on the bed. “Don’t move.” You said while slowly opening your blouse. He was whistling at your action, but it didn’t faze you. You trailed your hand over his shirt from his neck down to his chest that lingered a bit before you pinched his nipple. He tensed up and you s straddled his lap after that. Slowly rocking your hips just to get the smallest amount of friction between the two of you. His hands were at his sides, and you could feel the pent up frustration he has. “I want to be on top tonight.” you said. Your bedroom experiences usually consist of him being on top or behind. So, you being on top is something special. After you said that his smirk deepened.

“You know you’re hot when you are angry right. My dick is so hard.” you blushed harder and tightly held his face in your hands. “Listen boy.” Rubbing his lower lip. “Tonight, we will do all the things I like. And you can’t complain, can’t whine, or cry.” I brushed my lips to his ear and bit his lobe and blowed lightly. “Yes ma’am” he said while he swallowed big time. “I want to tie you up, but since that takes too much effort you have to promise me to keep your hands behind you.” He slowly nodded as you got of his lap and took off the rest of your clothes, leaving you in a black lace under garments. As you untied your hair you saw his eyes drift to your mounds and licking his lips. But that’s not going to happen yet.

You knelt down between his legs not breaking eye contact and undoing his belt. He was hard and you could feel the light twitching through his trousers. While getting it all off and rubbed his big thigh you could feel goose bumps forming beneath your hand. Softly kissing the muscular part up and down making sure to leave hickeys while making your way up to his centre. His eyes were closed, and he now was laying on the bed with his long legs dangling off. I got up and turned him vertically so I could lay in between his legs. He sighed at your cold hands touching his warm stomach and I teased him more. I missed the touch of his lips him, but you couldn’t give up now.

 Tugging his boxers down for the show to start. You were going to make this painfully long for the both of you.

After many times of him cumming on your face and mouth. And seeing the masterpiece of hickeys you left behind on his pelvis and v-line. You took off your own panties and pushed his, still hard surprisingly, dick inside you. It felt good and God you were wet. So wet. The slick sound of him rubbing your walls filled the room. Maybe it was because you where on top or maybe the long-time spend on foreplay, but it felt so good. Tears filled your eyes, and you were just slowly moving up and down. Keeping a steady pace so this was going to take a while, but you were right on the edge. If you opened your eyes right now and look at him the sight of him alone could give you your release. Secretly opening one to look at him. Both your hands were on his abs making small marks from your nails, but his Oh, his were giving you an ego boost. One of his hands was between his teeth and the other was pulling his hair. A hard moan escaped your mouth, and you couldn’t even recognize your voice in it. Your stomach was all tingly and skin was set ablaze, the sweat coating your body and his was making you dizzy. Just to get that push you rubbed your clit and your jaw dropped, back arched, and eyes rolled back. You moved your fingers to his nipples and rubbed them making him twitch inside you he was letting out muffled groans all the time this time a hoarse moan left his mouth, and it was so sexy. And you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed him, to touch you, you needed him to fuck you. “Touch me, Tetsu.” You gasped out and at the exact moment he shot up his hips. Sending ripples of sensations and all types of pleasure through your body. And now loads of sexy moans filled the room, the ones you see in movies. You came but he didn’t quit you tried to tell him to slow down but he didn’t the overstimulation was killing but you couldn’t stop it felt too good at the same time. His warm calloused hand grassed your skin as he found the clips of your bra and threw it to the corner of the room. “Finally.” He muttered as his mouth connected to your nipple. The pleasure and pain messing with your brain. “Tetsu, ah, it’s to-ah, much.” You got out. “Oh yeah? Well, I don’t think you’re seeing these hickeys because they also were too much.” He gave one more thrust when he came again. Delicious warm fluid painted your insides and he finally got soft. The smell of sweat filled your nostrils as you saw him pull out.

Your thighs were shaking, and your insides were spasming. Slowly pushing yourself up you felt the warm mix of your fluids run down your thigh. “You look so hot right now with all my cum down your legs. I just want to-.” He scrapped some of it with his fingers and pushed it back in. The sudden touch on your sensitive area made you see starts. Too braindead to form actual words other than a simple “eh” your half open eyes looked at his golden ones as you tried to caress his cheek.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we.” He picked you up kissed your lips on his way to the bathroom.

Bonus:

The next day Kuroo had his weekly volleyball game with his friends and was walking into the changing room.

A few of his friends were already changing into their jerseys.

“Hey guys.” He greeted them and started changing himself.

“Damn Kuroo, I see yah.” Bokuto snickered. “Hmm?” “Yah got laid good didn’t yah.” He pointed to his stomach. Deep purple bruises were visible as he had removed his shirt. “Oh this.” He scratched the back of his head and laughed sheepishly. “He made her real mad this time.” Kenma said while shaking his head.

#haikyuu #haikyuu smut #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #hq #hq x reader #hq smut #hq fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo fluff #timeskip!kuroo #haikyuu fluff #hq drabble

[starsmacabray]

“the slytherin skittles were mean and scary” okay but did you know that they are all actually nerds and weirdasses

regulus is the nerdiest boy out there, books and poetry and potions are you kidding

pandora? don’t even get me started on her special interests in magical creatures

barty was incredibly talented with magic (even canonically) that doesn’t just happen to someone who isn’t a n e r d

evan too- it took alastor moody to finally take him out, and that was AFTER he did serious damage. hc that he has a love for herbology and plants

dorcas meadows mckinnon? she was so much of a genius that volds had to take care of her himself. she is the brains behind the operation

i hc that they act all spooky on the outside but as soon as they get back to their room they unmask to reveal the biggest group of weirdos you’ve ever seen.

i’m talking “oh my god you’ll never believe the species of butterfly i saw today” and “..so that’s when i tried to explain to him the chemical properties of the patronus charm” and “okay but the way that he uses color and lighting in this painting conveys complex emotions”

of course people are going to think they’re scary- they’re social outcasts, misfits, nerds.

#mini rant of the day #harry potter #marauders era #slytherin skittles #marauders fanfiction #marauders #regulus black #regulus & pandora #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #dorcas meadows #the slytherin skittles #regulus black kinnie

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

what if peaches (unexpected) had already been pregnant from colin by the time lloyd met her?

Unkind

Note: this got out of hand.

Warnings: Lloyd being a jerk yet again, mentions of cheating, pregnancy, bodyshaming.

Please provide thoughts and feedback! I had fun doing this and hope to do some more in response to your guys' asks! Thank you for all your support. 💜

You stare through the glass, so clean and clear, it’s as if it’s even there. You wistfully admire the fine leather and silver, the gleaming watch faces with their ticking slender arms. Sparkling, shining, expensive. Too expensive for you.

That would be most things these days. With a baby on the way. You can’t afford luxuries. You can’t even save up and surprise Colin. That one. The silver and blue. That’s the one you would get him, if only.

Your vision shifts and you see your reflection across from you. Your bloated cheeks, your tired eyes, the tiny bump peeking out from your unzipped jacket. No, you’re not here to buy a gift for your husband, just to exchange his new shoes for the right size.

A shadow darkens through the window of the jewelry shop and your sight pinpoints on the man inside. He looks up from the watches with a smirk. Slicked hair, a rather bold choice of facial hair, and bold blue eyes. They fall down to your stomach as the muscles in his cheeks tense. He gives half a smirk.

You frown and back away. Strange. You wouldn’t call it a look, more a leer. You feel your phone buzzing and reach into your pocket. You fish out your phone as you waddle away. You’re not that pregnant, not yet, but there’s no hiding it now.

You answer and suppress a groan. Your back is killing you. It doesn’t get better, just less or more agonizing. 

“Hey,” Colin meets your blunt greeting, “so sorry, babe, I’m caught up at the office today. Looks like another late night.”

“Really?” You sigh in disappointment, “I was hoping… I was going to cook you dinner before I went to work.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he insists, “really. You should try to relax.”

“You’re right, I guess,” you find one of the long pleather sofas they have along the wide walkways of the mall and sit. The stiff cushions aren’t meant for comfort. “I just gotta exchange your shoes,” you set the bag beside you and reach to rub your lower back, “and uh, go home, I guess. I’ll leave dinner in the oven.”

“Ah, don’t worry about me. I’ll probably just order in here.”

You nod as you teeth your lip anxiously. A figure sits further down the sofa and you do your best to ignore it.

“Uh, yeah, alright,” you mutter, “love ya.”

“You too, babe,” he replies. 

The call ends. You look at your phone glumly before tucking it away. You go to grab the back but it crinkles as the stranger beside you pulls it open to peek inside. You turn to sneer at him and snatch it up by the handles.

“Hey,” you snip.

“Nice shoes. Bit big for a newborn,” he muses. It’s the same man, from the shop window.

You shake your head and slide to the edge, standing with some effort and a grunt. You don’t need to engage with this weirdo.

“You’re out here buying the baby daddy new shoes while he’s stuck at the office fucking his secretary, huh?”

You scoff and roll your eyes, “excuse me?”

“Ah,” he slaps his thighs before he stands, “I read somewhere that the most likely time for a husband to cheat is during the pregnancy. You see, you got all these changes going on. You get moody, you get whiny, and your ass gets fat.” He leans to the side and eyes your butt, “fatter.”

You wrinkle your nose in disgust and try to sidestep him. What a fucking creep. You didn’t ask and you don’t want to hear it.

“I say you take those shoes back and treat yourself to something nice down at the jeweler. I’d suggest a pearl necklace,” he snickers as he blocks your path, “you got a great neck for it, toots.”

“Get out of my way.”

“Look, the truth is hard. It hurts. It pisses you off. I heard your phone call, doll face, he’s not staying late at the office. Trust me.”

“I don’t fucking know you.”

“Oooh, and with a mouth like that, how is he not absolutely obsessed?” His voice grits in a way that makes you shudder.

“I didn’t ask and I don’t care,” you rebuff, “now excuse me.”

You elbow past him and he lets you. You realise, if he wanted to, he could easily corner you there. Especially since you can’t move very fast.

“Think about it. You know, I’d even buy you diamonds for a good blow job,” he taunts, “you got a pretty mouth.”

“Yeah, and you got a big one,” you toss back over your shoulder as you hurry away, lowering your voice to mumble beyond his comprehension, “jerk.”

💎

You get the right size of shoes after waiting nearly forty minutes in line and at the till as they searched the backroom. You check the new receipt and nearly blanch. Wow, that’s a lot for shoes. Only last weak, Colin reamed you out on how much you spent for the good toilet paper. Well, you suppose they’re a necessity for work. He just got that big promotion.

You take the new pair and head out. You search for a sign and find the bathrooms just past the food court. With the pressure off your bladder, you come back out and resist the temptation of the Cinnabon that greets you. You set off on your escape from the materialistic maze and ignore the jewelry shop as you pass it a second time.

You come out to the parking lot and deflate as you remember how far you had to park. God, your back is fucked. You need to lay down. You don’t know how you’re going to make it through work.

You head down the row and find your beat up car. You open the back door and put the bag on the floor. You swing the door shut and open the driver’s, turning to sit sideways on the seat as you wheeze and cry out. The twinge in your back as you shaking as you grip the interior.

Fuck!

You huff through the pain and steel yourself. You can make it home. Then you can relax and save your energy for work. You can’t call in again. Colin will flip.

“So,” a voice startles you before you can turn in the seat, “what do you think?”

The man with the mustache appears again, stepping out from behind the nearby SUV. He pulls a string of diamonds out of his sleeves and lets them dangle. He wiggles the necklace and gives a wink.

“You deserve something pretty… and I deserve my dick sucked,” he cackles, “you know, you could even pawn it so you have money for diapers.”

“Ew,” you twist in the seat and hold back another groan, “not interested, weirdo.”

“Come on, when’s the last time he fucked you?”

“Get out of here,” you reach for the door.

“No, I’m serious. Those funbags are already fucking huge and they’re only going to get bigger. He should be motorboating them like he’s on the goddamn lake–”

“Stop,” you go to pull the door open but he’s quick to strut forward and grab the top, holding it open. “Hey, let go, you fucking–”

“I’m offering you what you’re not getting anywhere else.”

“Speak for yourself,” you sniff. Things have been tense but they’ll get better. Besides, you don’t know this man. You don’t care what he thinks.

“Ah, well, how about I buy you dinner first. You must be starving and I can play the gentleman–”

“Not interested–”

“It’s a good deal–”

“You’re a fucking creep,” you snap and wrench on the door.

Caught off guard, his arms slackens and you manage to pinch his fingers in the door. He yelps and recoils as you let the door open just slightly and slam it once he rescinds his hand. He shakes out his fingers as he bends and growls.

You hit the locks and shove your keys into the ignition. He stands straight, clutching the diamonds and his injured hands as his eyes blaze in your direction. You shift into gear and grip the wheel, foot hovering over the pedal.

“Oh, this isn’t over, sweet cheeks,” his voice is muffled through the window, “you wait. You’ll be begging for this when you catch that fuckboy with shooting his swimmers into another slut’s pool–”

You stomp on the gas and veer out of the spot. You tremble as your ears ring and your eyes water. He’s wrong. He doesn’t know you. Or Colin. 

Maybe you could still surprise Colin. Maybe you can bring dinner to him. Eat with him at the office before you go off for your shift. Just like when he first started there. Maybe it will remind him of how things used to be, not what they’ve come to.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #drabble #what if #unexpected #unsolicited #au #the gray man