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#mike hears will listening to him and is like ‘wtf is that? who is holding you at gunpoint?’
gaysforbyler · 2 months
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I have a controversial head canon that modern!Will would be a Conan Gray fan. Hear me out— no, it’s totally not his music taste whatsoever. BUT he would have a celebrity crush on him and listen to his music in secret. It’s his guilty pleasure, he hella relates to the lyrics. Conan’s entire brand is getting his heart broken by one-sided crushes. Will cries to Heather. Special shout out to Yours, The Story, Fight or Flight, Footnote, with a heavy emphasis on People Watching, and secretly Lookalike, because he’s actually really petty and bitter. HE CRIED TO FOUND HEAVEN, THE gay anthem. (the song, but the album as well)
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wheeier · 3 years
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no taking back
summary: it was only fun and games. but steve had other plans.
warnings: modern au, tooth-rotting fluff i guess, little but of swearing
+ olivia rodrigo’s sour album (stream besties), the movie tangled at the end because it just radiates as a comfort movie
yes a modern au !!! i just saw this on tiktok (the sour part, but the rest was my idea!) and thought it was so cute so it gave me an idea to make it as a fic, enjoy !!!
steve harrington x fem!reader
olivia rodrigo’s new album just released and you were thrilled to listen to it and stream it the whole day.
when you finally got to listen to it, you asked your friends—robin, nancy, and the party, if they listened to it and which ones were their favorites.
robin told you that her top three were hope ur ok, jealousy, jealousy, and brutal.
nancy said she really loved favorite crime.
max said hers was also brutal.
el told you that she played good 4 u and traitor on repeat that hopper had to go into her room to turn it down.
when mike comes over to the cabin he can assure that el does indeed play them on repeat and get pissy about it (but he secretly loves the album, but he wouldn’t let her or anyone know that).
and lastly lucas and dustin are fans of deja vu and 1 step forward 3 steps back. max even told you that they would sing the bridge of deja vu on the top of their lungs.
you slightly laughed at the memory of them telling you about it.
however, there’s one more person that you haven’t talked to about it yet.
steve.
your smile faltered and faded when he came across in your mind.
your feelings for him had deepened over the time and listening to the sour album made it feel like you two had broken up, which in fact, is not true because you were never together in the first place.
suddenly, an idea popped in your head. instead of being sad about steve, you thought about texting him, although it’s almost 1AM, you knew he’d still be up.
Sailor Man
You: hey
You: u up?
Sailor Man: duh
Sailor Man: this has been our nightly routine u always bother me when i’m about to go to sleep
You: fuck off
You: don’t pretend that you’re not binge watching outer banks until 4am
Sailor Man: i’m not?!?
You: yeah right
You: anyways
You: can u do me a favor
Sailor Man: will i get free pizza afterwards
You: no
Sailor Man: k
You: what the fuck
You: fine
Sailor Man: hehe
Sailor Man: what’s the favor ;)
You: dont get me started with that winky face i swear ure so dead when i see you at the wheeler’s house tomorrow
You: have you listened to olivia rodrigo’s new album
Sailor Man: ohh the bitter album?
You: ITS SOUR DUMBASS
Sailor Man: I DONT KNOW?!?
You: I CANT DO THIS HJAGSK
Sailor Man: shut up
Sailor Man: i’ve heard some of the songs but i haven’t fully listened to them
Sailor Man: why
You: can you like
You: ask me to be ur girlfriend then break up with me right after so i can experience and actually feel the whole sour album
Sailor Man: what
You: just do it !!
Sailor Man: you’re so funny (y/n/n)
Sailor Man: okay
Sailor Man: will you be my girlfriend?
You: yes !!!
You: ...
You: hello
You: dont tell me u fell asleep
Sailor Man: i’m not doing the last part you might as well forget about it
You: wjat
Sailor Man: :D
You: wtf
You: okay steve cut it out i’m not doing this anymore u’re not funny
Sailor Man: nope
Sailor Man: go to sleep we’re dating now that’s how this works
Sailor Man: okay i dont know if you’re still reading this now and i am terrified to say this to you in person like TERRIFIED. might piss my pants if i did. so (y/n/n), my favorite dumbass, my favorite person to talk to at night even if it interrupts my binge watching marathon, you make me so happy to the point that even when i sleep you’re still in my dreams. i like you. i have like the biggest fattest crush on you. and thank you for doing that sour album thing or whatever, because of that i get to finally ask you out
you rolled on your back after you read the message, facing the ceiling as your mind processed what just happened. was he playing with you? was he actually serious about asking you out?
Incoming video call...
Sailor Man
you took a deep breath before tapping the green button and placing it back down on the bed.
“hey,” you can tell that he was tired based on his voice. “can you show your face, please? i miss you.”
ignoring the butterflies in your stomach, you hesitantly lifted the phone and shifted your position to lay on your side. “hey.”
“hey yourself.” steve grins. that stupid grin that makes your stomach turn, that grin you always want to see everyday.
“what’s..up?” you avoided looking at him and started to admire your surroundings and the posters placed on your wall. this was the only time you were glad you weren’t with him in person.
“i just wanted to see if you’re okay.” of course he will ask that. he's steve. he cares about other more than himself.
“i am, thanks.” you showed a smile that doesn't reach your ears and steve knew something was bothering you. “hey, look. i'm sorry about my confession- if it made you uncomfortable i'm sorry-”
“no,” you cut him off, looking back at his face on the screen. “i’m fine, really. you don't have to apologize. i was just, surprised.”
there was silence between the two of you for a few seconds, before you spoke again. “did you mean it?” you voice was only above whisper but steve managed to hear them. “of course,” he answered almost too quick, without any hesitation. “i've been trying to find the perfect opportunity and had been asking god for signs because i can't make a move myself-”
“asking god?” you chuckled and steve smiled hearing them, glad that he somehow lightened the mood. “well, more like begging.” he continues and you giggled.
once your laughter died you both fell into silence again. you still couldn’t believe that out of a fun joke, it would turn into a whole another situation. “so, um.. just so you know, i’m not mad, or upset, or anything. i really was just surprised. it felt like a dream because i didn’t know that you like me back and all i did was just supposed to be a fun joke but—”
“hold on, back?”
“what?”
“like you back. you said i like you back.” steve sat up on his bed and fixed his hair as his eyes widened. “i did...” you said slowly, not catching up.
“does that mean you..”
then it hit you. “oh, right. yeah. i- i like you..too.” you waited for his reaction and once you saw him smile you couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.
“i knew it. and well, i guess that confirms it. we’re dating now. no taking back.” he smirks then laughs when your rolled your eyes. “don’t flatter yourself, harrington. i did not say shit.” you pointed your index finger on the screen, barely containing your giggles.
“based on your beautiful smile i think you don’t need to say it. i like you, and you like me. we’re dating.” steve gives you a teasing smile. you tried keeping your serious face but it won’t last longer so you finally smiled again. “alright, fine. no taking backs. we’re dating.” you said then laughed as he whisper-yelled ‘yes!’ while fist pumping the air.
he soon joined your laughter and you stayed like that until your jaw was pretty much in pain because of your smiles. when it was all quiet again, you both just admired each other’s presence through the screens of your phones. “i wish i was there with you.” he mumbles. “yeah, me too.” you hugged your cold pillow beside you, closing your eyes for a moment and imagining it as steve.
“are your parents home?”
you snorted at his random question. “i’m actually alone right now, they’re out because dad got promoted at his work so he and mom and i think a few friends went out to celebrate. they should be home by an hour or two. why?”
“nothing.” was all he said before hanging up. you were left confused but then he’s your best friend after all, so you knew right then and there that he’ll do something stupid. after you turned your phone off you suddenly felt watching a movie so you went to the kitchen to make some popcorn.
when it was finished and had been put in a bowl, that’s when you heard your doorbell rang—in a pattern which you recognize, and only one person does that.
you let out a quiet laugh when you realized who it was and set the bowl on the counter before opening the door.
“hi!” steve greeted you with a smile. “uh, hi?” you laughed nervously and stepped aside for him to go in. “i smell popcorn, are we having a movie night?” he says as he steps inside and shrugged off his jacket. “actually yeah, i’m planning on watching—”
“tangled.” he finishes off, you subconsciously smiled upon hearing your favorite movie. “how’d you know?”
steve snatches a few popcorns from the bowl as you both arrived in the kitchen. “(y/n), you have watched that movie 7 times this week and always gush to me about it.”
“well, you’re the only one that is around my age that i can talk to with that movie. robin and nancy aren’t that into it.” you replied, grabbing the bowl and making your way back to your bedroom, steve following your heels. “and you think i’m the best option to talk to about that?” he asks, plopping down on your bed and resting his back on the headboard.
“you’re not complaining.” you shrugged as you grabbed your laptop and sat beside steve.
“yeah, probably because i like you.” it came out of his mouth casually. you froze in place and felt your cheeks heat up, finally nodding your head slowly, “..probably.” as you typed in the movie in your laptop you felt steve scoot closer, making your breath hitch.
you were both in a comfortable silence while watching the movie, except for a few jokes and comments that steve makes and him explaining how similar he was to flynn rider.
“you know, since i’m eugene, you could be rapunzel.” he suddenly says. you eyes were still on the screen but your eyebrows furrowed. “why? i’m nothing like her.”
finally looking at steve, you almost screamed how he was already looking at you. “oh, you are so rapunzel. you may not have the longest hair in the world, but you are pretty much similar.” he replies, smiling and not taking his eyes off of you.
you paused the movie and shifted your body towards him, intrigued by his explaination. “how so?”
“well, first off,” steve starts, resting his hands on the soft mattress. “you’re both sweet, you’re both a huge ray of sunshine, have gorgeous eyes and smile, and eugene is head over heels over you — and since he doesn’t exist in real life, i’d like to be the substitute.” he finished with a confident smile.
after about three seconds, you burst out of laughter. you laughed. as much as he loves the sound of your laugh, he can’t help but pout. “(y/n), i’m trying to be sweet here!”
“i’m sorry!- it’s just- i can’t help but laugh at your flirting.” you managed to say between your laughs. you know he’s kidding but he looked at you like he was offended.
your laughter died down and held steve’s face. “it’s cute, sorry.” you mumble with a little laugh. when he finally smiled you turned to your laptop and continued the movie.
steve gazes at you for a few more seconds before watching the movie with you again. “thank you.” you whisper, glancing at him.
“you’re very much welcome, my rapunzel.” he says smiling before he slides a bit down on the bed so his head could reach your shoulder and rests it there.
you giggled as you heard him whisper,
“thank you, olivia rodrigo.”
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lesbian-in-leather · 3 years
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So I was watching Too Hot to Handle (it's awful but I like laughing at straight people don't judge me) and I was like... what if the WWDITS characters were on this show
(If you haven't seen THtH, the concept is that a bunch of hot, horny and single people rock up on an island and then are told they aren't allowed to kiss, fuck or touch themselves - when they inevitably break the rules a lil robot deducts money from the final shared prize fund. They also all have to sleep in the same room and must share a bed with someone else)
Either as a Human AU or just a normal 'they're vampires' but slight plot AU, here's how I think it'd go:
Nadja, Laszlo and Jeff!Gregor are there from the start
Guillermo is the narrator who judges all of their choices and DEFINATELY has a thing for Nandor
In a Human AU he doesn't know them and is just SUPER creeped out and intrigued. He also questions why no one else is concerned by the red flags they all keep throwing out in every conversation
In a Plot AU he would have to keep them supplied with fresh blood so they don't commit murder and have all compulsory activities take place at night so they can avoid the sun. He gives a set of rules they keep being added to as the show goes on. The main one is Don't Kill People
Colin is the equivalent of Lana (Lana is the robot who stops everyone having sex and calls them all out on rule breaks resulting in SO MANY awkward and uncomfortable situations that Colin would love)
In a Plot AU they come in wearing their usual clothes and holding parasols to hide from the sun. After that point Guillermo makes them wear modern clothes to fit in which they hate until they realise that all anyone wears are swim suits and they are VERY easy to remove
In a Human AU Nadja thinks Jeff is hot and is CONVINCED they knew each other in past lives. She hypnotises him to remember and he suddenly starts acting differently. Guillermo is absolutely losing his mind trying to figure out if it actually worked or Jeff is just in it for the long con. Laszlo is super jealous and everyone is confused because both he and Nadja flirt with everyone on the island but it's just this ONE GUY Laszlo has a problem with. Guillermo is genuinely concerned Laszlo is gonna fight him
In a Plot AU the events of WWDITS haven't happened so Nadja and Jeff have never met. She recognises him immediately and tells the camera crew all about Gregor in a talking head interview and very quickly hypnotises him to remember when she realises Jeff is bloody boring. Laszlo is contantly trying to make Jeff meet with an "accident" and Guillermo keeps trying to stop him without actually ever appearing on camera
In a Human AU Mike (the bad orgy guy) would be there and would be SUPER insistant on following all the rules. Nadja and Laszlo do not listen and instead piss him off on purpose
No one knows Nadja and Laszlo are married, even the producers. They use this to get with basically all of the other contestants (and each other) repeatedly. They argue and flirt near constantly and treat the whole thing like a weird game to make each other jealous. Laszlo calls Nadja "my darling" all the time but he also flirts with and has petnames for everyone so no one thinks anything of it
Nadja breaks Robot!Colin about three days in when he calls her out for making out with Laszlo (again). Colin then appears in person for the rest of the show, which is worse for everyone accept him. He keeps walking in on everyone whenever they're breaking or are about to break rule
The three contestants added in later are Nandor, who felt left out (and was asked to stop Laszlo from killing Jeff on camera); Simon, who wants to steal both Laszlo's hat and Nadja (but mainly the hat); and Lilith, who just wants to cause problems
In a Human AU it's the same people with different backstories. Nandor is still Nadja and Laszlo's friend but they didn't know he'd be here and vise versa. Simon is Nadja's ex and Laszlo's "arch enemy". Lilith is just a random girl. Guillermo cannot BELIEVE that 2/3 are people that Nadja and Laszlo know. He's made a goddamn conspiricy board about these two
In a Human AU Nadja befriends Lilith until she takes Nadja's place in Laszlo's bed. Laszlo claims he didn't realise it wasn't Nadja because it was dark and swears nothing happened. Nadja calls bullshit and it's confirmed by Colin. Guillermo is losing his mind
One of the contestants is called Steve and he's a very straight himbo that doesn't realise Nandor is flirting with him. Nandor thinks they're dating, Guillermo is Definately Not Jealous
Nadja and Jeff get sent to the Special Bedroom (I don't remember what they call it in the show but it's just a private room with a double bed and a bunch of sex toys) for a night. They can all hear them fucking
In a Plot AU Laszlo gets sick of it and interupts to kill Jeff. Nadja's mad, but then they share his blood and fuck because that's just what they're like. Guillermo claims Jeff just left the show and Nandor is mad they didn't share Jeff with him and keeps going on about how they broke the rules. The other contestants are like "buddy those two have broken every rule in the book why are you suprised" because How Would They Know
In a Human AU Nadja goes back to Laszlo immediately after and Jeff gets pissed and actually does leave the show early
Nandor and Laszlo end up fucking. Nadja fucks Lilith in retaliation but then they actually start to like each other (again)
Nandor feels like he has to confess this to Steve. Steve congratulates him on getting some but is suprised Nandor likes guys. Nandor thinks Steve is just playing hard to get
At the end of the final episode when the prize money is announced someone insults Nadja and says it's all her fault there's nothing left, to which Laszlo is obviously like "how dare you insult my good lady wife!" And everyone just freezes like wtf
In a Human AU Nandor is super suprised everyone else didn't know they were married. He's just Himbo and he genuinely thought it was common knowledge. Guillermo loses his shit like "what do you MEAN those two are ALREADY MARRIED what the FUCK"
Anyway there's my dumb thoughts that I lowkey think would make a good funny bad comic
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wall-maria-fritz · 3 years
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The Wingman (Erwin Smith x Marie)
Chapter 5: The Territory
Reposting this because I am officially overhauling my @levi-lives blog, in lieu of this one because SOMEONE Tumblr won't let my posts show up from there anymore! grrrr.
@levi-lives blog is still up tho, if you would like still see my original posts
The Wingman MASTERLIST
A/N: HELLO! YES I STILL PLAN ON FINISHING THIS BABY So much has happened these past 5 months that’s cost me my peace of mind and caused me so much heartbreak (haha i hate boys but what’s new? lol) But hey! At this point, I’m just choosing to see all this as new material to source my inspirations from now on  :P This chapter was written while listening to Pretty Please by Dua Lipa, Laisse-moi t'aimer by Laurie Darmon , and There You Are by WHAT THE DUCK. I actually made a playlist for all the songs I use, and ya’ll can find them HERE! I’ve written you lovelies a looong one for the looong wait! (4K words wtf XD) Enjoy!
Chapter 5: The Territory
Dearest Marie,
The moment you walked in the room, all blazing curls and bright hazel eyes, I knew you had me wrapped around your finger. And what is a man to do, when the most gorgeous woman he’s ever laid eyes upon, makes his heart stop the second she blesses him with her tinkling laugh and charming wit?
Truly Marie, you may very well be the death of me. But if that’s what it takes to keep your heart, then what a wonderful death it would be!
And I do swear, by my soldier’s honor, to offer up my heart to you, for you to do with as you wish. Break it or take it, I am at your whim’s mercy. But I do trust that a woman as gentle as she is beautiful, would never deny a dying man’s wish.
Forever Yours,
Nile
~
The Titan Territory was at the peak of its happy hour. Chock full of drunkards, lechers, soldiers, and the occasional vagabond. Most nights like these, Marie would be at the tips of her toes. Keeping alert, and focused on getting her work done without attracting trouble. She was a woman in a room full of inebriated men, after all. And it wouldn’t be uncommon for a few of these men to get… more handsy than usual. And it certainly isn‘t new to Marie either
But tonight, the barmaid did not seem to mind all the boisterous men nor the stench of ale. In fact, she looked rather flushed and chipper as she placed another mug of ale in front of a bucked-tooth man. She even smiled sarcastically when yet another man old enough to be her father used yet another recycled pick-up line at her. As opposed to straight up telling the old bloke that the age must be getting to him if his eyes couldn’t tell that she was no angel, but a person who definitely knows how to call the MP’s for harassment.
“Who is he?”
Marie paused pouring a mug to glance at Elena, confused by the sudden question. “Huh? Oh, I don‘t know, another dirty old man clearly.”
“Nooo,” Elena looked pointedly at Marie, her ruby red lips plumping into a tight ‘o.’ “Who’s got you daydreaming and out of it like that? I haven’t heard you give some poor drunk a good smack talk all night.” Marie pursed her lips. Elena immediately pointed a long, equally ruby red fingernail at her. “And that! You keep pursing your lips like that!” Elena’s amber eyes widened exaggeratedly. “Who did you kiss?”
Funny you would ask that, Marie thought sardonically. For the hundredth time that night, her mind reels back to the taste of strawberries and cigarettes, and carefree eyes so blue, she could drown in them. All at once, she is once again engulfed by strong, sure arms, and the heady smell of sandalwood.
And the lovely sight of the woman in front of her pressed against the very man she can’t seem to shake off her system.
Then Marie remembers the letter she received just that morning. Nile’s remarkably careful handwriting, and his smitten words resurfaced in her mind’s eye. Despite the cheesy—not to mention incessant—flirting. Marie certainly never thought Nile had such profound emotions for her. She’d be lying if she said that his confession wasn’t affecting her opinion of him.
Marie smiled, conniving. “I have an admirer.”
Elena was extremely intrigued. “Well? Spill! Who is it?”
The ginger girl smirked. “Guess.”
Before Elena could even speak the name, Marie went ahead and sashayed away from the ravenette, a tray of ale on hand. She knew what name Elena would answer. And she’d be right.
But she didn’t want to think about Nile, nor his tall friend’s irresistible dimpled smile.
So the barmaid bent down to serve mugs of ale and beer at a particularly loud table of drunk garrison soldiers—clearly drinking on duty if the presence of their uniforms were anything to go by– when she was startled out of her reverie by the bawdy laughter of drunks and the hard smack of a man’s hand against her rump. “Is this ass on the menu, girly?”
Marie whirled around, flinging an enraged hand to slap against the wretched bastard’s head, when the surly red-faced soldier caught her hands. They were unbelievably small and weak against his bruising grip. Marie gritted her teeth against the man’s sour ale-breath, and her own pounding heart. She could feel the lecherous eyes of the drunk’s buddies, laughing like predators baring their teeth. It was a busy night, and no one would bat an eye at a barmaid getting harassed in a tavern. She felt like a trapped deer, surrounded by lions in their very lair.
The soldier leaned dangerously close, almost like he’s sniffing her fear out. He tutted at Marie’s stricken face. “Tsk. Tsk. Good little girls don‘t hit their betters.”
Marie, very much a woman of spunk and grit, steeled her resolve.
She was going to give this motherfucker a nasty head-butt.
But she was never able to. Many things happened all at once– a sudden, strong force pushed the man back, making him crash against his group’s heavy wooden table.
He stumbled back, shocked and winded. Her harasser’s friends all shot up from their seats at the commotion, barstools clattering to the ground from the sudden movement.
Marie was pulled back into a solid chest, a firm arm anchoring her there; safe.
“The sign was right. This is Titan territory. This place stinks of one.”
The ginger girl strained her neck up to gape at the tall, imposing form of the very man who’s been haunting her thoughts all night. Erwin’s blue eyes barely even acknowledged the woman nestled against his chest. They were solely trained on the bastard coughing on the floor. Marie shivered. Erwin Smith looked cold and wicked.
Like the Devil passing judgement.
The drunk man whipped his head up, a menacing snarl distorting his red face as he clambered up off his ass.
“What was that, boy?”
“Just an observation.” Erwin sounded almost like he couldn’t care less if he was talking to a drunk gang of trained Garrison soldiers. Much less that he just shoved one.
The soldier guffawed. “Ho ho! You got some wit to ‘ya, pretty boy! But didn’t your momma teach you to never mess with a Titan’s territory?!” He moved to reach for a disgusted Marie, when his hand was abruptly grabbed and halted by an unshakeable grip.
Nile Dawk’s face was painted with a scowl. His dark eyes shooting daggers at the drunkard.
“Well she ain’t yours, Sergeant Kemper.”
Kemper spluttered, and tore his hand away. “Did we guess that right, sir?” Nile taunted, his eyes alight with the adrenaline in his system pumping for a fight.  His gaze briefly caught Marie’s wide-eyed stare, and winked. Marie’s cheeks went hot.
“And?! I’m a known soldier! What’s a couple of backwater punks gonna do, huh?” Kemper and his friends were just about ready to start a brawl, when Mike stepped in—knuckles cracking, nose sniffing out blood, his massive bulk intimidating. One look at the giant told them that he could sweep them all out, no problem.
Mike just grunted. “A hell of a whole lot, actually.”
Kemper very nearly whimpered like a kicked dog.
“I’m sure Captain Brezenska* wouldn’t like to hear reports of his men gallivanting around with barmaids, while drunk on duty and in uniform, yes?’’ It was Erwin who dealt that final blow. And just like that, the men trudged up and out The Territory, a slew of empty threats trailing in their wake.
Marie sighed. Relieved that what would have been a messy fight, was diffused.
Then Marie broke out of the arm holding her, and turned on Erwin. “Are you out of your mind?! You could’ve caused those men to seriously hurt you! Those are full-fledged soldiers. What if a brawl broke out? We’d all be banned from here!”
Erwin was taken aback. He certainly didn’t expect this response from a girl he just saved.
Nile immediately stepped in, holding his hands up. “Relax, Marie! My wingman here was just making sure those bastards knew not to mess with my girl!” Nile had an arm hooked around Erwin, and was grinning flirtatiously at her when Mike joked lowly.
“You better pee around her then, if you don’t want the wolves scenting your territory!”
Erwin and Nile froze, wide eyes boring into Mike’s careless, smirking, stupid face.
Marie straightened up, like a feline rearing her claws. A single perfect eyebrow arched high on her forehead.
Mike immediately choked on the booming laughter bubbling up in his throat, and stuttered out a cough and an apology– clearly forgetting that he was in the presence of a lady.
Although Nile and Erwin didn’t miss how Marie—this feisty, pretty little thing—singlehandedly brought a man who just threatened a group of drunks with just the sight of him, to a sheepish stutter. Marie decided then to let the comment slide. The man did just drive her harassers away.
Then like a cruel reminder, Elena’s full voice rang out. “Looks like my favorite customer decided to pay a visit!”
As is usually the case where Erwin and Elena are involved, Marie resisted the urge to roll her eyes back into her skull. The voluptuous brunette sashayed over to Erwin, who had one of his cheeky smiles playing around his lips. His dark blue eyes sending a naughty promise.
Mike brotherly clapped Erwin’s back. “Guess that’s my cue too.” He asks Elena, “Is that cutie Charley around? I heard I’m her favorite customer,” Mike smirked. Elena laughed, and pointed to where the tiny blond barmaid Mike was fooling around with last time was. When Mike left, Elena turned to Marie with a knowing look in her eye. “Let Erwin and I leave you two alone,” her red lips purred.
Marie was beginning to loathe that shade of red lipstick.
And was it just Marie, or was her perfume more nauseating than usual?
Nile stepped towards Marie, and nodded at his friend. “Go ahead man, knock yourself out, I got her.”
Erwin chuckled at the heart eyes his poor friend was making at the girl beside him, who was none the wiser.
None the wiser, because Erwin knew that longing look on  Marie’s face only meant that her mind was back at that charming apartment of hers too.
His calloused hands around her waist, her moans in his mouth.
Bright hazel eyes met deep blue ones. For a flicker of a moment, neither Marie nor Erwin wanted the other to go.
But just for a flicker.
“We’re not carrying you home again if you get shit-faced, Nile!” Erwin called to his friend, before he left with his hand against Elena’s back.
And like a bad omen, Marie watched Erwin’s broad back go.
~
“Again?”
Marie turned to Nile, her arms crossed, and one hip jutted out in amusement. She was smiling prettily at the man, whose rugged looks blushed crimson under her bright hazel eyes’ scrutiny. Nile rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, “Smith doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.” Marie laughed; a carefree, happy sound.
It absolutely captured Nile’s heart.
“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow, walking back to the bar to settle more orders. Nile followed her, leaning against the countertop as he watched the pretty barmaid go about her work. “Heck yeah,” Nile flashed her a megawatt smile. “That bastard doesn’t even get back to the barracks until after sunrise whenever he makes a go for one of his chicks.” Marie’s heart sank. “Is he always chasing after girls?” she huffed.
Nile blinked, then looked to where Erwin was. Marie followed his gaze, and found Elena all but giving the handsome blonde a lap dance.
Erwin seemed to be enjoying himself.
Marie’s eyes went to slits again. Nile saw this, and took it as another case of girls being so oddly protective of their girlfriends. The ravenette shook his head, “Erwin is a good man. He’s like a brother to me. He likes to play around sure, but I’ve never met a man with more honor. He’s much too gentlemanly to fuck your friend like a common whore.” Nile chuckled, “And besides, it’s the girls who chase after Erwin…”
Nile trailed off, his lips setting into a line when he saw the warmth that came over the look in Marie’s eyes.
Nile’s long fingers held Marie’s chin and moved her gaze back to him.
“But I’m not here to talk about Erwin.”
Tender hazel eyes became playful.
Meanwhile, Nile’s silver ones crinkled at the edges at the sound of Marie’s sweet voice saying, “What then, Cadet Dawk?”  Marie hadn’t realized how close Nile was. And just like the last time she was this close to the man, she could see the thick dark lashes framing the Nile’s light eyes. Except that now Marie saw how those eyes, paired with his high cheekbones, made Nile look like a dark elven sprite come to cause mischief upon mortals.
Marie recalled the letter he sent her, and thought it fitting that this dark sprite would write such enchanting words.  She still didn’t know what sorcery came over her that she was half-bewitched by this man’s one letter.
Nile carded his hands through his unruly dark locks, willing his beating heart to calm down. Sweet Sina she’s adorable, he thought.
There was so much Nile wanted to tell Marie. How he woke up every single day looking forward to the next time he’ll see her, thinking of all the little details of himself he wanted to let her know…
As much as he’d like to know all the little details she could ever offer him.
Yet, the poor guy could only splutter out a shaky and ineloquent “I-I… uhh, did you get my letter?”
Marie’s lips quirked up to a girlish giggle. If his letter was anything to go by, Marie knew Nile’s intentions had far more depth than that. Marie grinned while a lingering thought remained in her mind—this is a far cry from the Nile she read in that letter.
Perhaps Nile Dawk is more of a poet than a Romeo, Marie mused.
“I did. And you really are too sweet, Nile. I don‘t know what to say. I didn’t know you felt that way.”
Nile immediately sucked in a breath, gasping out, “Of course I do!  I—I couldn’t get my mind off of you. ” He winced. He sounded like an idiot. Like a desperate schoolboy talking to his first crush.
Not at all like the charming and suave man those letters made him out to be. It got Nile thinking that maybe he overestimated Erwin’s way with words a tad bit too much. But instead of making him feel like an absolute fool for it, Marie laughed good naturedly at his response.
“Cat got your tongue?” Marie teased, grinning at his antics. There was something Marie found really quirky about a man being so bold in writing, but so tongue-tied in person.
He’s kinda…cute, Marie realizes.
And like the fates deciding a destiny sealed shut and done, Nile felt his heart give a finalizing beat that this woman would be the woman he’d spend the rest of his days with.
Nile gave a relaxed, even relieved smile, and took Marie’s soft hand.
He brought it to his lips, and kissed the delicate, milky flesh.
Marie bit her lip as her cheeks burned red at the feel of his stubble grazing her hand. Nile’s silver eyes flashed up at her, and grinned boyishly, “I‘m more of a man of action.”
~
I got her.
The words echoed in Erwin’s head like a threat.
I got her.
The Territory’s lowlighting only accentuated the sharp planes of Erwin’s scowling face. Elena had left to get him his fourth glass of whiskey—on the rocks, just the way he liked it—after the very welcome distraction the minx gave him. If it weren’t for the woman draping herself all over his lap, her luscious dark hair entangled around his fingers, he would’ve probably not have stopped himself from moping longingly—not unlike what he was doing now– at the sight of his best friend making his Marie giggle.
His Marie?
Erwin dragged a hand over his face. His thick eyebrows scrunched together, as he felt a dull throb slowly form in his head. He needed a cigarette.
She isn’t MY Marie, Erwin scolded himself. He took out a joint, lit it up, and held it to his lips like muscle memory. He took in a deep drag, and watched Marie throw back her wild ginger curls in a fit of laughter, her freckled cheeks blooming almost as crimson as her hair.  She’s been amusing herself with Nile’s puppy dog flirtation for a good hour now.
“Go ahead man, knock yourself out, I got her,” Nile’s voice intruded his thoughts like a restless conscience.
No, Marie was never his. Erwin narrowed his eyes at the indulgent smile on Marie’s lips, as if she were cooing at his friend like a child, and wondered—
Perhaps Marie did not belong to anyone.
Erwin’s mind reels back to when he and Nile were just writing that first letter he left in Marie’s doorjamb….
~
It was an ungodly hour to still be awake in the barracks, but Nile took it upon himself to invade Erwin’s bunk with a pen and paper and a candle enough to last an hour. So now Erwin found himself with his copy of the Blue Book* against his thigh, the piece of paper atop it, and Nile practically moaning to him all the sappy little details of his love for a certain freckled ginger in the candlelight.
Mike was in his own bunk above Erwin‘s, pretending to have fallen asleep.
There was no way in hell he was gonna volunteer his ears for Nile’s emotional masturbation.
Erwin groaned, “Nile, do you know how physically painful it is to listen to you right now?”
“Why can’t I just tell her how much I wanna kiss her? How much I wanna give her the moon and the stars? How she’s literally my dream girl and how I swear to Sina, I’m gonna marry her?” Erwin rolled his eyes at that; Nile wants to marry every girl he ‘falls in love’ with.
“…Isn’t that the sort of thing girls want to hear?” Nile was truly perplexed, the poor bastard.
Erwin winced at his friend.
Mike couldn’t help it. “Sure, if she’s a goddamn fifteen year old virgin!” he called down from his bunk.
“Oi! I thought you were asleep!” Nile hissed, prompting Mike to start fake snoring again.
Erwin gave an exhausted sigh. It was late, he wanted to sleep.  “Didn’t I tell you? Marie’s a full grown woman. That sort of flattery isn’t going to work on her anymore. She isn’t going to entertain just because you tell her how much you want her, you gotta make her realize how much she wants you.”
Nile looked skeptical. “Alright then, Eyebrows. How would you do it?”
Blue eyes looked into the dancing flame of the candle at his trunk, his pen poised upon the paper.
“I would tell her how I notice all her little details—her curls, her eyes, the way she throws her head back when she laughs—and how they made me feel like a fool the first moment I saw them.” Erwin’s lips quirked up as he continued to look into the flame, “But most of all, I’d talk about her mind, her heart…”
Nile felt his teeth grind, and the muscles in his jaw twitch.
Mike stopped snoring; wide awake now.
They waited. Erwin continued, a glazed look still in his eyes.
“…How a woman like her makes me want to devote my very life to her.”
~
“Woah, don’t lose your cool, Wingman.”
Mike’s gruff voice pulled Erwin out of his reverie, as his friend joined him where he was leaning against the bar top.
He probably already got bored of his girl, Erwin thought.
Mike was already holding his own glass of bourbon in one hand, cigarette in the other. The larger man nudged the hand holding the joint at Erwin for the lighter.  Erwin wordlessly held out the light, and Mike placed the stick against the flame.
It’s always been like this with Mike. The two moved together with a wordless sense of trust and understanding; as seamlessly as a well-oiled machine.
“What happened to ‘Tomcat’?” Erwin chuckled, as he smoked with his friend. Mike just smirked, “Nah, you’re the Wingman now. Derek’s the Tomcat, more like. Müller certainly thinks so. Besides,” his green eyes slid over to Erwin’s hunched over form. “I think you’re losing your mojo.”
Erwin laughed out loud at that, a few curious heads turning to the handsome man throwing his blonde head back. Erwin’s broad shoulders straightened into their usual confident set. “You’re full of absolute bullshit Zacharias, that’s what I think.” He cocked a thick eyebrow at Mike’s scoffing, shaking head, “And it’s Müller’s daughter who thinks that. Müller thinks Derek’s a rodent he has to kill.” Erwin inhales a drag, “And like most pests, he’s a bitch to get rid of.”
Mike just hummed observantly, taking a sip of his bourbon. “Well, can you blame him? Your brother’s fighting for the woman he loves. That’s more than you seem to have the balls for.”
Erwin was silent.
The two men continued to watch their friend try to make Marie take a break, and sit down for a drink with him. She only just deflected him for the fifth time that night.
Mike sighed and placed a firm hand on Erwin’s shoulder. “Look, a bastard like me is in no place to tell you how to love– that just isn’t my thing. And Marie’s a special girl, I can tell.”
Erwin glanced sharply at the taller man.
Mike rolls his eyes, “Don’t worry!” Then hastily adds with clear exasperation, “She ain’t my type! But writing those letters?” Mike motions his head to Nile and Marie across the room.
“It’s going to hurt you, brother.”
Mike started swirling the bourbon in his glass, contemplating. “I understand that you do it out of love for our friend, but this can hurt Nile just as much. You had better pick a side, Smith. This woman, or your friend?” Mike threw back his drink in one swift gulp.
“But either way, it’s going to break your heart.”
Erwin blinked at Mike.
Then he chuckles warmly, a hand flicking away his blonde hair.
He’s always known that Mike was as keen as they come, but…
“Since when were you so wise, Bloodhound?
A/N:  AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE I RAMBLE AND DON’T HAVE TO WRITE PROPERLY LMAO
Captain Brezenska - I always had this headcanon that Rico comes from a military family, considering how seriously she takes her job as a Garrison soldier compared to her peers. Not to mention how she seems to have risen through the ranks as Captain despite looking quite young. I imagine, unlike the Survey Corps, you’ll need YEARS of experience to become an Elite Squad captain in the Garrison, since well… a third of the regiment doesn’t die every three months lol. So the Captain Brezenska mentioned here is Rico’s father!
The Blue Book- Another headcanon! The US Army calls their official guide to military training and maneuvers as “The Blue Book.” I think it made sense for the Cadet Corps to make use of a ‘Blue Book’ for its trainees as well.
That’s all for now! I’m working on a shit ton of other projects rn (I’m a commissioning artist hihihuhuhu) Not to mention c o l l e g e (ugh.) So Chapter 6 might take a while huhu.
In the meantime, I would love love love to interact with you lovelies, since I missed ya’ll sooo much! You can go hit me up here anytime! Or even at my ig: @artexmaria where I post a lot of my art, AND where I may or may not post my Derek Smith art if anyone’s wondering about Erwin’s hot old brother *winkwink.*  Y’all can also find me on AO3 as RosemaryTumbleweed <3
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123abcdrawwithme · 5 years
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all spg albums poorly described by me bc i can
album one: steam man band: michael reed voice: GUYS HOLY HECK LOOKIT MY ROBOT FRIEMDS THEIR SO COOL OHMA G AD clockwork vaudeville: now when you say you bought yourself a pickle- sound of tomorrow: the jons audible lenny face as he says “in the nude” on top of the universe 2009 ver.: RABBIT FUCKED A TOASTER AND UPGRADE KILLED THE SPINE THE GIRLS ARE OFF THE SHITS on top of the universe 2011 ver.: alternate timeline where the jon and rabbit kill the spine and deny him ice cream i am not alone: poor one out for upgrades 1 (one) song, shes trying her best ice cream parade: i don’t even know where to begin with this one brass goggles: LOCAL ROBOS ARE FEELING EMO SO THEY HAVE A SING ALONG out in the rain: splish splash they was havin’ a bash electricity is in my soul: okay but whomst the hell is that electronic voice who sings the “la la’s”? serious question who tf is it???? steam man band reprise: michael reed voice: GUYS MY COOL ROBO FRIENDS ARE GETTING AN ENCORE HOLY HECKIE blind minstrel’s ballad: ominous captain albert alexander: listen,,,, he beat spider hulk in an arm wrestling match,,,, hes really cool,,,,,, the 2¢ show: steamboat shenanigans: some say they sang so hard they really did make it to the moon and across the stars ;) one-way ticket: CHU CHU I LOVE U ju ju magic: jonathan giraffe what tHE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT HONEY? ARE YOU OKAY? me and my baby (saturday night): the spines a hopeless romantic and he loves to treat his girl and his siblings support him little birdie: jon makes friends with a bird or some shit idfk rex marksley: the spines a hopeless romantic and sings about his cowboy crush and his siblings support him automatonic electronic harmonics: they want to feel cool,, let them feel cool,, prelude to a dream: hey michael i thought you were supposed to be the human friend whats all this about not being a human being?? mike? m-mike?? make believe: FUCK SOCIETY, TRANS RIGHTS BITCHES *EPIC KAZOO SOLO* honeybee: ah yes that one song we won’t ever let them forget bc were all emo scary world: the morse code says spoopy the suspender man: rabbit voice: yeah theres this guys who sold his soul or whatever how fucked up was that, anyway i want to wear a dress :3c that’ll be the way home: THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL the ballad of lily: oh boi we about to have another character song on this album airheart: character song 2 electric boogaloo circuitry: y’all good? mk iii: curtain raiser: beebop voice: STEVETHY SOMEONES TRYING TO PLAY THE ALBUM   steve voice: oh fuck steam powered giraffe: HEHE NAME DROP mecto amore: this is some rabbits in love again shit but with WHAMST hatch fever: hatchy is here and the album version does not capture how feral hatchworth performed this on stage a way into your heart: spg as a whole @ their fans: we love you all so much thank you for the support over the years :) <3 me through tears: bitch,,,,, <3 ghost grinder: rabbit and the boys on their way to the graveyard at 3 am to party with rabbits dead gf please explain: i stg everytime i hear hatchy sing “gum in my gears” i think he’s saying something else and i’m sure you can fill in the blank, but the thing that gets me is thats so on brand for him to say dsfdfg she said maybe: rabbit is just young old dumb and full of love these days isn’t she? go spine go: almost 6 minutes of hatchworth and rabbit being two year olds and poking fun at spine roller skate king: everyone sleeps on how good this song is wtf i’ll rust with you: me knowing full well this song is about rabbit outliving her gfs throughout the decades bc shes a robot: oh,, so thats why theres so many love songs by rabbit on this album,,, rabbit you good?? wired wrong: the spine you good?? fancy shoes: hATCHWORTH YOU GOOD??? steam powered giraffe reprise: we interrupt your regularly scheduled robot angst hours with that good weeb shit™ turn back the clock: okay back the robot angst bleak horizon: our lovelys saying goodbye saying they’ll be back to bring smiles on our faces soon as we close out to some ominous as fuck shit teasing vice quadrant the vice quadrant: the vice does tight: okay so the vice quadrants fucked up and the robots are very concerned by this on a crescendo: ominous foreshadowing thats so ominous i had to look up what this song meant lore wise bc i just thought it was the robots just dancing and having fun steamjunk: my dear sweet honey darling is traveling through space and I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM starburner: low-key robo angst bc their worried about their souls being damned or some shit but its cute  progress and technology: david YOUR RANGE wink the satellite: wink voice: YOU WAS MY BABY MY FUCKIN CINNAMON APPLE burning in the stratosphere: oh fire fire: this is the most haunting shit i have no joke for this sky sharks: hoo boi the sky sharks certainly won’t be killing us all today, but climate change sure will daughter of space: PREBBY SPACE GODDESS HNNNGNNGNG star valley night: honeys you know you can just wait for it to be night time right? then you can go play in the star valley at night- commander cosmo: BITCH YOU GOOD? where is everyone?: THERE SHE IS MY BABY gg the giraffe: MY DARLIIIIINNGGG SING IT HONEY  the pulls: wink my darling y’all ok? soliton: corpse man and space goddess sing a really nerdy analogy about love and its gorgeous where i left you: wink seriously are you okay? over the moon: rabbits just done but shes gotta sing it and go all out with how done she is bc shes extra it’s cosmic: is the “alright!” rav?? also is this love song supposed to represent them causing more fuckshit and destroying the universe and just not realizing it bc their in love?? idfk man it bops hold me: whether from the perspective of holly or rabbit i weep openly at this song the speed of light: david: this is where the astronaut turns evil won’t tell you why tho ;) literally every lore buff: *listens to this song and tries to theorize wtf happened* rav to the rescue: local green space twink rescues his space bf more at 11 starlight starshine: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the space giant: three steampunk robots fight a giant starbaby in guitar hero to save a satellites crush; a planet thats a huge apple i have zero jokes for this is already too absurd  oh no: oh OH OH? O H. OOOH OH??????????? o  h... oh no.... necrostar: evil pissrock possessed evil dead guy and is ready to cause fuckshit while the robots sing about how scared they are at the end super space blaster centi-asteroid invaderpedes 2: cute interactions with the robots! i hate this title tho whale song: wholesome shit to distract you from all the lore and foreshadowing at the end Music from steamworld heist:  automatonic electronic harmonics, on top of the universe, electricity is is my soul, honeybee, and brass goggles: me minding my own business playing steamworld heist: *walks into a bar where spine rabbit and hatchworth are performing one of these songs* me: HOOOOOGH heist ho!: yeah thats piper for ya starscrap: hi i’m in love for rabbit? prepare for boarding: GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GONNA OVER THROW THE PATRIARCHY  the red queen: capitalism? demolished. what we need are some heros: the spine projecting his love for cowboys onto the player characters the vast frontier: hatchworth: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME the stars: they made it lads they made it over the moon and across the stars.... also how’d they keep singing for that long aren’t they tired? quintessential: malfunction: wow i can’t believe spg ended transphobia i don’t have a name for it: love? i guess??gd fgdsghfdg blue portals: the idea of hatchworth going through the blue portals when i know they’re made out of blue matter is terrifying  overdrive: they want to seem cool please play along and pretend their green screen work is cool the ballad of delilah morreo: this came right the fuck out of nowhere but fuck its here now and its fantastic love world of love: wonder what other balboa park songs they’ll bring back, like never gonna give you up :) only human: i’d die for you hatchy salgexicon: they deadass wrote a song about their dnd campaign  sleep evil sleep: i guess we’re all evil BC WE KEEPING SLEEPING ON HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS TOO photographic memories: walter worker chelsea? come get ur mans- leopold expeditus: hatchworth: hey guys checkout my fursona dream machine: this song keeps me up at night with the endING I JUST WANT RABBIT TO BE HAPPY AND ARTSY BUT THE WAY IT ENDED WITH THE VICE QUADRANT RELATED TEASER MAKES ME THINK RABBIT PICKED UP A SATELLITE FREQUENCY FROM WINK ABOUT HOW NECROSTAR WILL KILL RAV IN THE FUTURE DEADASS I’M NERVOUS WHAT HAPPENED
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omfgtrump · 5 years
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A Beautiful Conversation
Come on people, why is everyone so apoplectic about the most recent scandal of The Don. You know, the Dog Whisperer, oops, I mean whistle blower thing. After all, he and his Pitbull pal, Rudy G, have been saying for months that getting intel and opposition research from a foreign government is like vaping, it’s just so cool.
Rumor has it the Rudy was miffed that he wasn’t included in the new Roy Cohn documentary entitled: “Where’s My Roy Cohn?” “It’s not fair”, he purportedly whined, “I have done so much for the president and Barr has the limelight. I mean come on, I’m almost as evil looking as Cohn and could play him in the biopic!”
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Here’s what The Don had to say to ABC’s, George Stephanopoulos, a few weeks ago when  asked if he would take information from a foreign government:
“I think you might want to listen, there isn’t anything wrong with listening,” Trump continued. “If somebody called from a country, Norway, [and said] ‘we have information on your opponent’ — oh, I think I’d want to hear it.”
The issue of Rudy G. and his shenanigans with Ukraine, have been in the news for a while. After the whistle blower information leaked, he was interviewed by Chris Cuomo of CNN:
Chris Cuomo: Did you ask the Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden?
Rudy Giuliani: No. Actually, I didn’t …
Cuomo, 24 seconds later: So, you did ask Ukraine to look into Joe Biden?
Giuliani: Of course, I did.
Didn’t we have the Mueller report already prove that The Don and his immoral cronies would work with a foreign government to win an election? Oh that’s such old news. Russia, remember that?
So a whistle blower gives the inspector general for the intelligence community, Michael Atkinson (who was appointed by Trump) information that is of great concern.
The inspector general does a thorough review of the information and deems it to be legitimate and urgent.
Following protocol, he turns it over to the Acting Director of the DNI, Joseph Maguire, who is required by law to turn it over to congress and the DNI says, nah, not going to do that. (Update: As of last night he says he will. We will see.)
Startling, right? Not really. What is startling is that everyone who is in The Don’s administration, and the entire Republican Party, has decided that they will protect him at any cost. It’s like the political version of Handmaid’s Tale: In this version, the dystopian world is not women forced to procreate for a master race cult, but white men whose minds are controlled in a Manchurian Candidate manner; but instead of the evil doer being played by Angela Lansbury, it is played by The Don.
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In the scandal of the week, The Don tries to bully the president of the Ukraine in to doing an investigation in to Joe Biden Jr.’s work in the Ukraine in order to bully Biden, who The Don fears will defeat him in the 2020 election. And it’s a total coincidence that the $250 million earmarked for Ukraine, money that helps shore up their military to protect Russia, is taken off the table leaving the Ukraine more vulnerable to Russia?
Take that, Ukraine. No one denies The Don. He asked you eight times to do his bidding. (I think the whistleblower got his information because by the 8th time The Don was screaming so loud you could hear him in the Starbucks down the street!)
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And you didn’t give him the toy he wants? Well then, The Don will just shut down the playground and let The Russians bulldoze it. So exasperated, The Don declared a tariff on Ukrainian Paska, Borscht, and Varenyky.
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BTW, do remember Paul Manafort- God, doesn’t he look sexy, a real beast in that orange jumpsuit or what? When he was The Don’s campaign manager and was responsible for modifying the Republican National Committee platform at the Republican convention to remove language to come to the defense of Ukraine.
When that happened everyone was: WTF? Weird? Something fishy going on here?
So we are back to Russia again. Sanctions and the Ukraine. Two intertwined plot lines.
What does Putin want from The Don? He wants sanctions lifted that were imposed on him for his appropriation of Crimea.
Remember Don Jr’s infamous “I’m loving it” Trump Tower meeting to get dirt on Clinton? That was about exchanging opposition research for the U.S. lifting sanctions. And there was Mike Flynn- soon to be on the cover of Behind Bars Magazine– and his shenanigans with Russia and sanctions.
If I sat down with a third-grader and relayed the facts I have laid out here, their response would be: How come the president loves Russia so much? Are we best friends with Russia? Does he owe them something? Yes, he does you smart 3rd grader. Me thinks when the truth is told he owes them a lot of money in the form of loans through Deutsche bank that were co-signed by rich Russians.
Now that the details of the whistle blower’s info is leaking, the great spin machine, that is The Don, is on the move. The Don is incensed that anyone thinks he did anything unsavory in his conversation with the Ukranian president. According to The Don, his conversation was appropriate and beautiful. (Most recently it was “perfect,” a perfect conversation.) As far as The Don is concerned, the word appropriate is an oxymoron. Now beautiful is a word that is Donesque. He has used it dozens of times to describe many things. Here are some of my favorites: Chocolate cake during air strikes, sleeping gas, Confederate statues, his temperament and beautiful clean coal. So when The Don says he had a beautiful conversation, well?
So once again, faced with another jaw dropping, egregious act of law breaking, what will the democrats do? (
Here’s my suggestion: When the Director of National Intelligence goes before congress to testify about the whistle blower affair, the head of the House Intelligence Committee, Adam Schiff, should hold up an orange jumpsuit and ask him if he is a small, medium, or large. Then, if he refuses to reveal the information the whistle blower provided, declare him in contempt of court and have the court authorities take him to jail. And after that, do the same for anyone who defies a subpoena or is in contempt of Congress. No more Corey Lewandowski nonsense.  Maybe then we can finally have the beautiful conversation we need and get the truth.
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Exciting new development: Nancy Pelosi has finally started an official impeachment investigation. Finally, the democrats can start backpedaling and take our law breaking president to task!
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Rec This Thing: Panic! At The Disco Pray For The Wicked Europe Tour at AFAS LIVE
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Panic! At The Disco Pray For The Wicked Europe Tour at AFAS Live 
My story: Look, in the span of less than a year I became a huge fan, so when they announced their show at AFAS Live, I was in.
Story: It’s a concert.
Rating (1 to 10): 10
Why?: After Hayley, and Troye, it was time for Panic! and lemme tell you something.
This was my favourite.
Once again, I was on my way to Amsterdam with Sammy in tow. We originally planned on going with Maikel, but tickets were sold out in seconds and he didn’t manage to grab them.
The road towards Amsterdam was wonky due to a possible terrorist attack in my country and due to faulty trains. On our way, we met up with two strangers who were also on their way to the concert. We talked about fake vegan burgers and airport security fails and of course Panic! At The Disco.
We parted ways at the entrance. It was packed. We were lucky we got there after the doors opened, because the line was so damn long that they added a second line. That line also happened to be shorter. That was our line. We still queued for a small half hour (and the police kept driving by because... y’know... possible terrorism) (it really was a terrible day for my country).
We bought merch and I got the long sleeved white shirt with High Hopes lyrics and then it was time to find a spot in the venue. Eventually, we got great balcony seats. Third row, close to the middle aisle. We had an amazing view.
*record scratch*
Wait. Hold on? You’re telling me that you could’ve found a standing place almost up front, like you did with Troye Sivan’s concert, and you didn’t?
Nope. I didn’t. For a few reasons actually:
We didn’t have to use the wardrobe.
The show was a very visual show and you could see it best from the balcony, since you could see the entire stage.
After all, Sammy and I are relatively small, so we wouldn’t be able to see shit unless we were completely front row.
I don’t like being stuck in crowds.
And the crowd was massive. It’s really confusing, cause both Troye and Panic! played sold out shows at AFAS Live but Panic!’s crowd was double the size. Ever since it got announced that Panic! got AFAS, I was very confused, because if you look at other venues of the PftW tour, they have massive venues sold out. Panic! easily could’ve played Ziggo Dome or whatever, but nope, they got AFAS. Hmmmm.
Anyway, I did consider going all the way up front so that I could hopefully give Brendon an ace flag to wear during Girls/Girls/Boys, cause that would mean the world to me, but the cons outweighed the pros and besides, I have nothing to complain about my seats. 
Especially now that I’ve seen YouTube videos from the people down at the standing room. It got hectic and loud and woah, at least I could still hear Brendon Urie himself.
The opening band was A R I Z O N A. The band, not the state. They’re from New Jersey. I wasn’t familiar with them, but by now I’ve listened to their entire discography and they’re good.
Then, it was time for an half hour long break and it was time for people to get annoying. Yup, as I mentioned, I had a great seat on the third row on the balcony. I was the first seat of that row, so no one blocked my view. It was wonderful.
But during A R I Z O N A’s set, people started leaning against the banister (is it called a banister?) of the balcony and people were crowding the steps in the aisle, aka people were blocking our views.
Sammy and I got so pissed.
Luckily, we weren’t the only ones cause the man in front of me actually told some people to leave, because they were blocking our view, but the moment those people left, new ones arrived.
So yeah, Sammy and I were pretty annoyed and then the countdown started, so we had a “well, shit, if we have to” moment, but three minutes before Panic! came on stage, security wiped the entire aisle. Everyone had to go all the way to the back to stand there behind the rows of seats.
A part of me felt a bit bad that all those people got pushed to probably the worst places in the entire venue, but man, on the other hand, Sammy and I were so damn glad.
And so, the countdown counted down (wow) to zero, while Toto’s Africa was playing, and the show started. I actually took a small video of all numbers and I put them together in a complication, excluding Girls/Girls/Boys and Bohemian Rhapsody. Those were long enough to have videos of their own.
Now, if someone’s reading this (hi), get something to drink cause this is gonna get long. When I talk about concerts, I write down the entire setlist and my thoughts on the performances, and wow, Panic!’s show was almost two hours long. 
How long? Well, someone put the full show online and it’s 1:48:20 long.
So yeah, the gorgeous purple lights turned on and Nicole (I’m gay), Mike, Dan, the horny boys and the wicked strings (I’M GAY) started playing and then Brendon arrived to start off with...
F**k A Silver Lining: We had one of those smaller stages (cause again, Ziggo Dome who??? I don’t know her!) so all those extras like Brendon jumping out of the stage didn’t happen. Luckily, the wonderfully beautiful visuals and lights were there. Silver linings came out of cannons and the show started. It was a beautiful sight, although it took me a while to realise that the images on the projections were supposed to be “motherfucking” cherries, not dicks.
Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time: Ah yes, Brendon Urie showing off his vocal range by singing random parts in falsetto. I love it and I sang along.
Ready To Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind): So delighted to hear this one, since it’s my favourite V&V song and once again, Brendon killed everyone with those high notes. They also put Mike in the spotlight, and it wasn’t the last time they did that during the show.
Hey Look Ma, I Made It!: Ah yes, Beebo. He actually showed up before the countdown. He was just chilling on stage. Anyway, I fucking loved the song.
LA Devotee: Nicole and Mike got front stage and bam LA Devotee, my favourite song from Bachelor, started playing. It was awesome.
Hallelujah: The girls in front of us lost it when the first note started playing. Brendon did his classy falsetto again and it was great.
Crazy = Genius: Hey look, fire. Anyway, this song is amazing and is it underrated? Idk? I love it so much.
The Ballad of Mona Lisa: People went apeshit when the first notes started playing. I really liked it.
Nine In The Afternoon: Where did Brendon go? Oh, he’s at the piano, aka it’s time for Nine In The Afternoon. I loved that you could hear the strings at the end so clearly.
One Of The Drunks: Ah yes, they added this song for the second leg and boy am I glad they did, since I absolutely love this song.
Casual Affair: Wow, okay. The visuals and the lights were amazing in every damn song, but Casual Affair had by far one of the best. AFAS Live became a big laser show. And nearing the end, a laser circle appeared on stage and Nicole and Mike joined Brendon in the circle. And then Brendon started singing very, very high. Probably the highest notes he’s had all evening. I was in absolute awe.
Vegas Lights: I am also so happy they did this song. I’ve loved it ever since I first listened to it and the energy in the room was so high.
Dancing’s Not A Crime: Annika from Plurk said that this song was so much fun live, and I am inclined to agree with her. This was so much fun! They did change the lyrics from “MJ up in the clouds” to someone else and the ending was also done in falsetto, which was great. Yup, yup, yup, Annika was right.
This Is Gospel: Brendon got a guitar and it was time for This Is Gospel. Now of course, this song is great and the added high notes were wonderful, but the very end was the best. After the song ended, Brendon, Nicole, Mike and Dan just jammed for one whole minute. Just music. I knew it was coming, so I filmed it.
Death Of A Bachelor: No surprise here, but Brendon told everyone he wrote it because he wanted to be Frank Sinatra. Since this is a smaller venue (... still... why...), he didn’t have to do the Death Walk, which is a good thing. It was just him and the horny boys on stage and the funk part was so much fun. Heh, horny boys. What a great pun.
It was time for a silent moment. The horny boys left the stage and Brendon started talking about he tried to learn Dutch at 3AM but he couldn’t get very far. Well, he got “Hartelijk bedankt” and “Ik hou van jullie allemaal”, and he thanked Google Translate. Anyway, he moved to the piano and he talked about how he hated it that his mum tried to teach him piano, but that he learned this song. The wicked strings returned and he started playing.
I Can’t Make You Love Me/Dying In LA: In the middle of the song, it transitioned into Dying In LA. Again, smaller stage (wtf), so the whole floating piano thing wasn’t there, but the music was obviously the same.
The Greatest Show: From a slow piano ballad to BAM this. I was not as disappointed by Panic!’s version of The Greatest Show as others, but I definitely agree that the song is much better live. Brendon sounded a bit raspy, which was great. He’d been raspy the entire show and it was great, but here it was amazing.
Girls/Girls/Boys: YES. IT’S TIME TO GET GAY. THE ONE I’VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO. Sure, I didn’t get to show off my ace flag, but Brendon still got flooded by flags, including 2 pan flags, 1 bi flag, and 1 trans flag. He commented on how it was the most flags he’s ever gotten. I saw even more flags in the audience, so he didn’t even get all of them. The Panic! Hearts were lovely, even though there was no rainbow. There was no assigned seating, so colours were everywhere. I had an orange heart and Sammy had a blue one. It still rained glitter and I almost cried when the rainbow love banner appeared. After the song, the rainbow laser lights appeared and Brendon gave a small speech. I want to relive this moment again.
King Of The Clouds: Smoak clouded (pun intended) the stage and it was time for King Of The Clouds. Not much to say, apart from the usual: it was great and the visuals were beautiful. The purple/green/blue colour scheme at the end was mesmerising.
High Hopes: CAN I JUST SAY THAT THAT MOMENT WHERE THE WICKED STRINGS BEND BACKWARDS IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS EVER? And also, oh boy, there were some high notes at High Hopes.
Miss Jackson: Brendon lost his golden jacket and Miss Jackson started playing. He did a backflip as well.
Roaring 20s: Another song that got added for leg two and just like One Of The Drunks, I welcome this change. Yup, I was one of those “*shoves 20$ to Brendon* Add Roaring 20s to the setlist!” people. NOW ONLY THE OVERPASS AND OLD FASHIONED LEFT.
Bohemian Rhapsody: How can you not sing along with this song? It’s iconic. I love the “ending”, so I filmed that (see link above). It’s 3 minutes long.
Emperor’s New Clothes: This is the one song in all of Panic!’s discography that I have mixed feeling about. Like, there are some songs I just dislike, and some I like, and some I love. But this song? Bruh idk. I sing along from the top of my lungs, because I like the energy, but do I like the song? Well, this time I fucking did cause it was a blast to hear it live and the lights were beautiful.
Then it was time for the encore. Some poor unfortunate souls behind us left. I heard another woman saying: “Don’t ever do that. Oh, this is so stupid.” The band slowly came back to the stage and Brendon lost his shirt.
Say Amen (Saturday Night): HE HIT THE HIGH NOTE HECK YEAH. I LOVE THIS SONG.
I Write Sins Not Tragedies: Ah yes, Sammy’s favourite song, since it’s a banger according to her. Well, she’s right. I am kinda glad that Brendon didn’t ask an audience member to sing with him.
It was time for the last song. Brendon said that he’s not the smartest guy (”I didn’t even go to college”), but that he knows that everyone is important due to, well, biology. He gave one of those inspirational celeb speeches about how everyone is important to him, but also to themselves. We were all born as winners, and that stuff.
Victorious: I knew they were going to end with Victorious and it’s the perfect song to end the show. It rained confetti and it was time for them to go. I didn’t want it to end.
They all waved goodbye and Mike and Dan threw stuff to the audience (probably guitar picks and those things). The girl in the seat behind me dropped her heart before Girls/Girls/Boys and she couldn’t find it. I found it after the show. I wanted to return it, but she was already gone, so I now also have a yellow heart.
And yeah, that was it.
Overall thoughts? Well...
I can’t go into detail about the visuals, but they really added something to the overall experience, so I actually recommend getting a seat that allows you to see the full stage in its glory.
Also, Sammy said: “I can no longer listen to the recorded versions now that he’s added all those amazing high notes” and that’s a big ass mood.
To quote Sammy some more, she said something about the beautiful intermission instrumentals between songs and how she’d even buy an album filled with those. That is also a big ass mood.
To continue this trend of quoting Sammy, I agree with her that watching Brendon dance was so much fun. I like that he’s having fun.
Anyway, it was time to go. Some girls complimented me on my ace flag, which was so fucking cool. Just like with Troye, the train station was flooded and there were still many flags.
Sammy and I got the train back home and we briefly saw the girls from before, so I said hi.
And that was it. What a day.
Recommend?: Please.... I want to do this again... oh god....
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milquetoast-on-acid · 6 years
Text
I watched By Any Means (six months after it aired) so you don't have to.
Here's what happened...
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This post is for you @xbleeple and all of the other Major Crimes fans that couldn't bring themselves to watching the series finale. I'm making this recap for you so that you don't have to waste your time watching. Even Sharon Raydor alive couldn’t save this terrible excuse of an ending. Along with a huge side of salt to keep you entertained.
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Provenza threatens to kill Stroh about five times per episode. To anyone that will listen including Mason. Despite that Mason still lets Provenza  and Co. chase the case until the bitter end. How's that for objectivity? 
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Stroh has a partner a Hacker, who is a British version of Rusty. Seriously this could be Graham P. Martin's twin in a look alike contest. When people told Duff that Rusty was annoying he said hold my beer: I've written you someone that is about a million times worse. 
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They end up setting up shop in Brenda's old house and spy on the MC squad via a virus they sent to their cell phones. British Rusty Hacker Boy spends the majority of the four episodes spying on the squad while making hilarious comments like he’s at the movies. And eating popcorn...I really wish I was kidding about that...
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What’s a movie without popcorn? 
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Emma Rios reappears for the sole purpose of being killed by Stroh. And @blossom--of--snow wonderfully pointed out that Emma is killed in the exact same way as the victim in her very first case. Wow what a cool thing to kill another major female character (who i know hasn't been on the show in years but still) and have that death be just as needless. 
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Provenza realizes that only he can keep Rusty safe (spoiler alert no he can't) because Emma's guards fucked up and let her be killed in her own swimming pool. So he becomes Rusty's guard and that comes into play later. 
The squad think that Stroh came back to kill everyone connected to him because he was dying. Turns out that was complete bullshit and Stroh only wanted money. His mother who had Alzheimers or Dementia. Which means that power of attorney for her fell to her step son and he decided to cut off Stroh's mega supply of money. So in the end, Stroh's main motivation to kill everyone who was ever involved with him is solely about money. Money that he could just as easily stolen from somewhere else. Also he had no real reason to actually kill any of these people except for his step brother who was the one to cut him off. Talk about being dumb and letting everyone on a trail straight to you!
The squad learns that Stroh was always a psycho and his mother helped him cover up his first murder. The squad hears about this from Mrs Stroh who has dementia or Alzheimer's (I really can't remember which) and suddenly remembers everything that happened in her past just long enough for them the hear about this. We learn more about Stroh's past than we do Sharon Raydor's. And her monolithic monologue descends into a campy flashback that rivals American Horror Story at it's worst. 
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The squad feels sorry for Stroh because his mom was the only person he trusted ended up betraying him in the end. Also it's the reason why he hates women so much is because his mom betrayed him. Even though her continued relationship with him destroyed her marriage. Even though she helped him cover up multiple murders. And even though she betrayed him years after his first murder (who was a girl he liked). 
Stroh kills some people including his stepbrother (but not his mother) and his own partner's partner (who is a prostitute because Rusty parallels). 
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Threatens that Rusty is next but never actually comes after Rusty. I honestly don't think that he ever really intended to come after Rusty. Rusty has nothing to do with his money and that was his main motivation. 
Rusty tracks down a Stroh lead because both Rusty and Ricky (who make breaks in their case) are better cops than the elite detectives who have had decades of experience under their belts. You know realism bro! Provenza chases the lead and lets Rusty and Gus go with him and of course it leads them to Stroh. 
Provenza goes alone to visit Stroh on some boat behind the house, while Buzz calls in a dead body they find. Leaving Rusty and Gus all alone, unattended so that Stroh or anyone else can find them and kill them. Great protecting Provenza!
Rusty sneaks away onto the boat because no one is babysitting him. Meanwhile Provenza finds Stroh. He is suddenly overcome with some common sense and decides against killing him. But then common sense leaves him and his dumb ass throws his hand cuffs to Stroh so that Stroh will willingly handcuff himself. 
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You know instead of calling for reinforcements and just waiting it out with a gun trained on Stroh. 
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Suddenly Rusty pops out of nowhere from some hiding spot. Because he got that that area before Stroh and Provenza. Because he knew where Stroh would be before Stroh knew. He shoots Stroh five times with no provocation what so ever. There is zero conversation between Rusty and Stroh. The reason why Rusty killed Stroh? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he was a prostitute. 
Provenza does the 'right' thing (just like Stroh's mother did for him) and pretends that he shot Stroh. Even though Stroh was not killed with Provenza's gun. Even though Rusty has GSR on his hands and Provenza doesn't. Even though Provenza is a buck shot and would kill him with one bullet. Remember that Provenza killed Wade Weller from a few hundred feet away from him right between the fucking eyes. Oh and hey it's all okay because it turns out that Stroh had a knife in his boot. Because justification. 
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I.A. clears Provenza (no way in hell). Everyone *wink wink nod nod's* to Rusty that they know he was the one who killed Stroh and they are all totally cool with it. From Fritz to Julio. Totally cool you killed someone today, we're proud of you! Keep up that good work! 
Andy is the only one who didn't pick up on Rusty having killed Stroh. And no one tells him that his step son is a killer. Maybe one day Andy will be killed by Rusty. I don't know what is worse. Living with a person that you don't know is a killer who may one day snap from trauma like that because shit like that doesn't leave a person. Or knowing that you couldn't keep your wife's son save from himself. Even though her last dying wish was for her kids to be taken care of. 
Now time for everyone's happy endings. Provenza starts his tenure as (Lieutenant) in charge of Major Crimes as a criminal. You know trying to keep the world safe from all of those pesky criminals. Rusty starts his law career as a killer. He really made sure to make Sharon proud of him for being an adult who takes responsibility for his own actions. 
Rusty and Gus get back together after Gus heedlessly harassing Rusty who wants nothing to do with him romantically. There is zero resolution (no conversation of a reconciliation or forgiveness)  in their relationship. I mean hey, Gus as a cheater isn't that bad when you compare him with Rusty who is a killer. Also Andy is totally cool with them sleeping together, Gus asked him. And hey, their relationship is totally not toxic or anything. And they aren't bound to breakup about five times before they die but hey what is true love but dis-functionality?
Julio left them all behind for another squad because he doesn't want Mark to grow up without a father. Buzz became a real cop, but not because it was what he wanted. But because it's what Provenza said so. Wes and Cami are maybe a couple. Amy is as disgusted as I am about them in the deleted scene. Where they flirt over comparing serial killers to cereal. That leaves me scratching my head with: WTF happened to the writing?
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Mike, Amy and Andrea got forgotten about and had no ending. Andy became the angry bitter widdower that Julio was and even takes over his desk because being right next to where his wife died is just too fucking painful. Oh and Ricky is actually Sharon's first born not Emily, Sharon said so. 
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Not to mention that Sharon was replaced by a vase of roses that everyone stares at. 
The End.
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richie-txzier · 6 years
Text
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This (Who Am I To Disagree?)
Request: Can you do a Stenbrough soulmate story?!! I loved the Reddie one so much it was great.
Requester: @kylieee827-blog​
Pairing(s): Bill Denbrough x Stan Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak x Richie Tozier
Warning: Lil sad, but Richie’s there so it’s okay
Author: Admin Tozier
Note: A lot of you were wondering wtf Bill wanted in Paraprosexia (Spoiler Alert: He was having a gay crisis), so consider this a prequel/sequel/add-on to not only answer that question but give you a Stenbrough Soulmate AU as well! I started to write this and suddenly it was 3k words later and we hadn’t even got to Buttercup’s yet and I was like yikes so consider this Chapter 1!
Extra Note: GEORGIE IS ALIVE BECAUSE FUCK YOU STEPHEN, THAT’S WHY
Actual Useful Extra Note: The basis to this Soulmate AU is that on the night of your 17th birthday you have a dream featuring your soulmate. You see their face and hear their name, and for every consecutive birthday after that, you have a dream featuring them again and again until you find them. I’d say I created it, but most likely it’s a mash-up of every other Soulmate AU other there, so feel free if you’d like to use it! (:
Paraprosexia , Chapter 1 (YOU ARE HERE), Chapter 2, Chapter 3
23:58pm
23:59pm
00:00am
Bill let out a deep breath, the panic-inducing feeling of tears, a constricted chest and frozen limbs ebbing away in the early morning darkness. As his eyes met the ceiling, his hands coiling together to relieve the lingering anxiety, he first figured that he didn’t really feel any different. He was 17 now. 17 years of waiting for this exact night. He figured the worst was over, the rest he really didn’t have much control over. All he had to was sleep and there his soulmate would be.
Bill wondered what they’d look like. Would they be like Bev? With badge littered leather jackets, heavy dark make-up around crystal eyes, crimson-painted lips circled around a cigarette while one foot stayed propped up on the pedal of her motorbike. Or would they be like Mike? With big warm smiles, floppy straw hat casting a kaleidoscope of sunspots across his face as he looked up at him from fluttering his fingers through the field of flowers, a few of them tucked into his overall’s pocket. Or would they be like…
No. Bill couldn’t get his hopes up. There were 7 billion people on the planet, what are the odds his soulmate would be his best friend? His best friend with soft blonde curls, almond shaped brown eyes that when turned to him made him feel like he was the only person in the room, the rare and bright smiles that graced his lips and creased his eyes-
No. He couldn’t get his hopes up.
Exhaling another breath, Bill closed his eyes, his nerves betraying his determined desire to sleep and he fidgeted with his fingers. Eventually, he rolled onto his side in an attempt to get more comfortable while simultaneously facing away from the taunting ticking clock that recorded each minute he was away from his soulmate. He curled up under his blankets, bringing his knees to his chest in a fetal position he hadn’t slept in since the night Georgie went missing. Why was he so nervous? His heart was beating frantically as if it knew something Bill didn’t, his mind only rationally telling him the unlikeliness he would recognise his soulmate, let alone ever meet them.
With a determined, frustrated and familiar courageous coiled feeling in his stomach, he put on a brave face and decided he was going to face this head on. The universe wants to give him a soulmate? Get fucking on with it.
And with that, Bill huffed to himself, squeezed his eyes shut, and focused on sleeping until he drifted off into unconsciousness.
He was in a woodland. Stood tall, but so short against the towering trees, the foliage rippling under the soft summer breeze, the pale yellow sun shining through the gaps in the leave with angelic curtains of light. They fell like a spotlight to glimmer and shine again blonde ringlets, the tight curls swaying delicately like loosely twirled golden ribbons.
The figure slowly turned, chirping of birds causing them to hesitate for a moment to flutter through the book they held with graceful slender fingers, pale arms exposed by the sleeves of his cotton shirt folded at his elbows. His skin shimmered, the pearly expanse interrupted by faded freckles that he could only make out by the sudden proximity he found himself to the figure.
“Bill?” A silky, sharp voice interrupted his gaze on the figure’s body and Bill flinched, eyes lifting to meet the face of the figure.
Almond irises. Focused solely on him. Mouth curled into a rare smile, creasing his eyes.
“Stan?” Bill breathed. Stan cocked his head, closed his book and made his way closer, but Bill only stumbled backwards, eyes blown and jaw dropped into a pure state of shock as he stared into the angled concerned features of his best friend.
Stan’s eyebrows knitted together, his hand laying gently on Bill’s bicep and Bill resisted the sudden urge to jolt it back. His touch was too kind, too tender, too loving. Bill’s breath quickened and Stan’s mouth only tightened in anxiety.
“Hey,” Stan murmured softly, and Bill could only let him, his body frozen, as he wrapped a gentle arm snugly around his waist to draw him closer. Stan entwined their hands together and brought Bill’s to his lips, kissing his fingers softly. Their eyes met again, Stan’s warm brown eyes staring at him with a genuine clear emotion that Bill had never seen lining them, “I love you.”
Bill’s cheeks twitched into a smile, cheeks flushing a little as he pressed their foreheads together, vacant fingers curling into his shoulder to keep him as close as possible, the actions and words acting automatically; the pessimistic voice in his barely conscious brain telling him that this may be his only chance to say it, “I love you too.”
Bill woke up with the words sculpted into his mouth.
OH FUCK.
Bill felt like he wasn’t attached to his body as he scrambled out of bed, the clock on his bedside glaring 8:53am out the corner of his eye. His mind was telling him he was drifting over to his pile of shoes, but later he would realise he was probably clambering and stumbling over, pulling on the first pair of trainers he saw, not bothering to change out of his sweatpants, grabbed his phone, keys and hoodie before thundering down the stairs.
“Billy?” A small voice wavered into his focus and he looked down to see Georgie staring up at him, one flesh and one plastic hand holding a bowl of cereal as he was still dressed in his pyjamas, “Where’re you going?”
“I-I’m juh-j-just going t-to Beh-Beverly’s for b-b-breakfast.” He managed to spit out, his tongue feeling heavy, his mind clicking at a mile a minute. Georgie’s face brightened and he bounced on the balls of his feet, head reaching Bill’s chest now.
“Can I come? I wanna see Bev!” He asked, cocking his head and Bill got a sudden reminder of Stan doing similarly in his dream and another wave of panic crashed over him.
“Suh-sorry Georgie, not t-tuh-today.” Bill’s gaze was distant as he ruffled Georgie’s hair and quickly circled around the barely-teenage boy to rush out the front door. Georgie frowned at his retreating form, but quickly shrugged it off, happily walking into the dining room with his bowl of Lucky Charms.
Bill slid into the front of his car, tossing his phone into the passenger seat, plugging his key into the ignition and then paused for a moment to catch his breath. What was he doing? Where was he going? His head fell on the steering wheel and the car honked loudly. He jumped back, head falling into his hands with a depressed groan.
He needed to tell someone. Someone who would understand. Someone who was close to Stan as well, so they could help with how to tell the boy… what they were. Bill bumped the back his head against the car seat, groaning at his own cowardice to even think the word.
Soulmate. That’s what he is Bill. Stanley Uris is your soulmate.
Bill’s breathing was picking up, his heart beating painfully in his chest and his brain feeling like it was being wrung like a wet sponge. He needed to tell someone, get the pressure off his shoulders so he can focus on how to tell him.
How to tell him, oh my fucking god, how am I supposed to tell him?! Hey Stan, how you been buddy, listen, I had my wacky soulmate dream last night and guess what? WE’RE SOULMATES. Oh, and by the way, I’ve been in love with you since I was 15. Isn’t that cool? Haha! Wanna make out?
He smacked himself on the forehead. Out the corner of his eye his phone lit up as he got a notification from his messenger (Three in total; each a birthday message from Bev, Ben and Mike) and his background photo, that Richie had changed of him and the meddler with Richie smacking a kiss on his cheek while Bill was laughing, the alcohol evident in the redness of his cheeks, blared up at him. Richie.
Bill thanked God for the existence of Richie Tozier.
He snatched up his phone, pulling up his messenger and typed out a quick text:
Big Billiam: Meet me @ quarry in 20
He hesitated and then sent another:
Big Billiam: It’s important
He got a reply after a few seconds of typing:
Tozmanian Devil: omw
Bill puffed out the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding, his whole body slumping into his seat as a minute piece of stress lifted from his shoulder, allowing the feeling to come back into his fingers so he could start the ignition with a flick of his wrist. With a determined foot pressing on the pedal, he drove out of the parking spot and on to route towards the Quarry, hoping the wide open area would at least relief the squeezing pressure in his temples.
Pulling up he spotted Richie’s bike discarded carelessly on the ground a few feet behind its owner sat in the fire pit the seven of them had gradually created with a few rotting logs placed around the clearing in a circle to frame the social clearing. Richie was looking a little messy, as if he had just got out of bed, which earned a rightful pang of guilt in Bill’s chest, as his shirt was untucked from his jeans, glasses askew and glinting on the mid-Sunday morning light and his dark curls a mop across his face so thickly Bill wondered if he could even see.
“Rich?” Bill called, slamming the car door shut and locking it. Richie tipped his head back to shine a sleepy grin, eyes still a little bleary but the straightness of his posture held the concern he held for his best friend. When Bill came to sit beside him, in front of the log, leaning back against it, as Richie was obviously too cool to sit properly, he placed a friendly hand on his shoulder to silently assure him it wasn’t as bad as he knew he was blowing out of proportion in that wild head of his.
As he settled in next to him a whiff of antiseptic, wool and vanilla hit him, making Bill smile and laugh lightly, “You smell luh-l-like Eddie.”
“Well I’d sure hope so,” Richie replied, stretching long legs out to stare at his converse clad feet contrasting against the dark dirt they sat on, “Given that you dragged me from the sleepy and warm hold of my adorable boyfriend with your cryptic message. So what’s the hullabaloo about, cockblock?”
Bill only stared at him, terrifying Richie as his bright blue eyes held him down with an emotion he hadn’t seen pouring from them since they were 13: fear. Richie leaned into him, his hand falling to his knee, tone falling soft and concerned as he ducked to stare up at his friend, “Hey Bill, what happened? Talk to me, buddy.”
“What huh-happened in your s-suh-soulmate d-dream?” Bill suddenly asked. He didn’t know why he needed to know, he just did. Maybe it was because he needed reassurance it would turn out okay, that his feels could be requited. Or maybe he was just stalling, wanting to have his best friend here to do what he did best and just talk to drown out his thoughts.
Richie’s whole form softened and Bill was fascinated. A slow and painfully genuine grin took over his mouth and the words he spoke flow from his lips like he’d thought about it a lot, telling it over and over in his head until he could describe it perfectly. But the disbelief was there, the edge of shock that still hovered over him, stemming from his intense insecurity of never being good enough for the Eddie he was destined. It warmed Bill, a platonic and full glow that had him mirroring Richie’s smile.
“We were in the back of my truck, Eddie sat next to me, and I was playing my guitar. We were singing Africa,” He laughed, shaking his head, “Singing is not the right word actually. We were yelling more like. So off-key, so goddamn loud, and he was smiling, Bill, beaming, at me. His eyes were so big and full of love and he was grinning, his face gold in the setting sun and I could feel the love he had for me. For me. And then the song ended, but the giddy loving buzz stayed. Eddie leaned his head on my shoulder and he murmured that he loved me. It was so genuine that I remembered waking up crying.”
Richie was grinning dazedly, his eyes soft as he stared above the horizon with the pale blue sky reflected in his glasses.
“How did you t-tell him?” Bill whispered as he scuffed his free against the ground.
Richie shrugged, carding a hand through his mussed hair, “It all just kinda came out one day. I knew I had to tell him but couldn’t find the right moment. I kept putting it off and off until I couldn’t take it anymore. I climbed through his window, like the Romeo I am, and told him. Bare and clear, for him to take or leave.”
Richie smirked, “And boy, did he take it.”
“Beep fucking b-beep Richie, fucking heh-hell.” Bill hissed, spraying him with dirt and Richie only laughed. Bill could feel the bind on his chest loosen a little.
The two of them calmed; Richie laughs softening to a chuckle and then simmered to a gentle grin full of Eddie, Bill collecting his knees to his chest for the second time that day and placed his chin on his knees. Richie’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in the vulnerable position Bill had curled himself into and shuffled closer to him, leaning his head on Bill’s tense shoulder, hand rising to stroke Bill’s unbrushed reddish hair softly. Bill leaned into the touch and Richie sighed.
“Bill,” Bill knew what he was going to ask, Richie’s thumb pressing firmer into his temple, “Who’s your soulmate?”
What surprised Richie the most after that was not the name Bill muttered, it was not the absence of his stutter, it wasn’t even the sniff that followed; it was how Bill dropped his head to his knees and he sobbed. Broken, confused and scared. And what Richie thought was surprised, felt a hell lot more like pain.
“It’s Stan.”
And now it was real.
“Buddy,” Richie honestly didn’t know what he was going to say after that, so he was ironically thankful that Bill had flung his arms around him after that, burying his soft cries into Richie’s shoulder that smelled so strongly of Eddie. He stroked his hand down Bill’s back, dragging to trembling boy into his lap to hold him securely, his mouth aching to make a joke, diffuse the tension, do anything to interrupt the scene of the best friend he’d looked up to for so long, break down in his arms.
The moment was interrupted by the melodic singing and the low buzzing of Richie’s phone from his pocket into Bill’s thigh. Bill sniffed deeply, wiping at his nose as he pulled away from Richie with an embarrassed wet chuckle.
It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you~
“Sorry, Billy, it’s the ball and chain,” Richie remarked, smiling lightly, reaching into his pocket with the intent of muting it, but Bill shook his head and sat back further, waving his hand.
“Ah-answer it, it’s oh-okay.” Bill tried to smile but it came out more as a grimace. Richie gave him a guilty look before he pulled out his phone and swiped to take the call, his thumb swiping across the picture of Eddie scowling up at the camera, but he hadn’t been able to stop the sweet smile that pulled at his mouth as Richie had no doubt said something stupid behind the phone.
“Hey Spaghetti-baby,” Bill caught a shrill sharp phrase of ‘Don’t call me that!’ and the two of them chuckled.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Yeah, I’m with Bill. He’s uh, he’s fine.” After another moment, Richie tilted his head to face Bill and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and Bill felt responsible and guilty for that, “Eds says Happy Birthday.”
“Tell him thanks,” Bill replied softly, his fingers twiddling with the soft material of his sweatpants.
“He says thanks. Mhm. Okay, baby, I will,“ He paused for a moment as he stared at Bill fidgeting, sniffing lightly, the pale light reflecting off the tear smudges across his cheeks and his overall slumped demeanour had Richie desperately wishing to see him smile, "Hold that thought Eds. Meet me and Bill at Buttercup’s. I’ll tell you when you get there. Mhm. Aw, you looove me? Okay, okay, I love you too, bye!”
Bill tilted his head to stare up him, eyebrows drawn together and mouth pressed into a line, “Wuh-why’re we goin’ to Buh-B-Buttercup’s?”
“Because, dear Billiam,” Richie began softly, standing up and offering a hand to Bill, which he gladly took, their hands linked as they walked towards Bill’s car, Richie squeezing it comfortingly, “Number one, I’m hungry as fuck. Number two, we need help from someone way better at this emotion shit than you, me and Eds. Number three, I miss Eds,”
Bill scoffed, chuckling as he leaned against the car door, watching Richie fit his bike into his trunk, “You suh-aw him an hour ago.”
“AND NUMBER FOUR,” Richie said loudly as to purposely ignore Bill’s teasing statement. He walked back to Bill to squeeze his shoulder, smiling so tenderly it made Bill’s heart clench, “You look like you need pancakes.”
When Bill smiled Richie considered his wish fulfilled.
BONUS: An aesthetic collage of the three people 17-year-old Bill knows he’s fallen in love with: 
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liv324 · 6 years
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Waking up in my Dream Life
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I woke up with a dreadful calling of mom saying “GIRLSS TIME TO WAKE UP ITS 9″ Oh how i hated those words, i was so tired. All I wanted to do is go back to my amazing dream! My dream life to be exact ! So I fell right back to sleep not caring about my "real life"... next you know I'm woken up again but with a satisfying smell.. it smelt like pancakes and bacon !! I wondered to myself did my mom make some good breakfast for once or is it all in my head.. suddenly I hear my annoying alarm go off , I snoozed it. I noticed i had a different phone. I was confused because the rest of my room was the same. I had my cheer accomplishments on one wall and my collection of my ceramics crafts on my dresser. So when I got up I put on my pink Nike slides and headed toward my door cuz boy was I hungry! Tht smell really got me up. When I opened the door I gasped! "Wtf where am I?" I questioned to myself. I looked around the hallway which was sooo different like I mean DIFFERENT. The mirror on the wall was gone. Lulus crate was not existent. And The bathroom was 2 doors down from my room instead of across my room. I lowkey got scared so I quickly went back to room with my eyes closed to hopefully go back to where I from. But when I opened my eyes my room was totally different! It was my dream room ! It was beautiful!
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I spinned around my room so happily and on my door there was a mirror it showed me and screamed in happiness when I looked at myself.. I was beautiful and perfect in my eyes. I was still wearing the same thing from when I got up but my body was totally different.. I was literally slim thick my stomach was flat my boobs were perky and my ass was toned. My hair was straight and a nice brown color instead of streaky blonde highlights. I was so happy. I opened my closet to see what I had and I hate such cute clothes! I grabbed a cute floral dress and some cute sandals and went out the door to find a bathroom. When I saw an opened door I looked in and it was a bathroom so I stepped in then I got pushed out from some boy. "To slow hun" said the Mike and he slammed the door in your face. You were shocked on who you saw but lowkey mad at what he did. Aria came behind you and said "Why aren't you using your own bathroom Eve?" You turned around and looked at her happily "Oh I umm I don't know actually I'll be right back" you said while you go back to your room and try to find the door to your bathroom which was in the corner of your room. When you went inside the bathroom you took off what you had on and examined your new improved body . Your skin was flawless and tan no dark areas just one color. You took a quick rinse off and you didn't have to shave anything was already shaved for you from a previous time. So once you got out of the shower you fixed yourself up and put some light makeup and brushed out your hair and put on your cute outfit . You noticed your stomach was growling so you grabbed your phone and headed downstairs for breakfast. When you checked your phone it's said you had 2 missed calls and 15 missed messages. I didn't know who they were from but shortly I found who the 2 missed calls were from. So I headed downstairs to be greeted with a great smell of food and my parents and my siblings and ZACH DEMPSEY!! I didn't know why he was there but hopefully it's what I think it is.
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When you looked into Demseys eyes you couldn't help but smile. You loved the kid from his daring eyes to his toned ass. "Hey babe I called you a couple of times to let you know that ur mom invited me for breakfast I hope Thts fine" said MY MF BABE!! "Of course honey it's fine" said my mom.. "yah of course Zach" I said smiling. I sat right next to Zach and grabbed some pancakes and a sausage. We ate all together which was super nice. We all talked and laughed. Zach grabbed my inner thigh which caught me off guard. He was watching me suck on my sausage before biting into it and zach whispered in my ear saying " you know what else you can suck if we leave rn?" He looked at me seductively and I looked at him smiling and I nodded my head and told my parents "we have to go because we are gonna be late for school". I stood up and grabbed my babes hand and he dragged him off his chair and we headed to the door. "Okay be careful now" my dad said and then mike stopped us at the door to give my backpack. "Hey where are you going so speedy fast" he asked all nosy and shi .. " to school now beat it mike" I clapped back. When we headed out I saw Zach's BMW waiting for us.. he opened the door for me like a gentleman.. I was soo excited for what was gonna happen next.. Dempsey speeded away and I was holding his hand on the way to school. I was lowkey getting impatient because cmon it's zach and all I could think about was pulling his damn pants down and sucking the life out of him. Zach saw how impatient I grew and he grabbed my thigh and kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear "we are almost at our spot" those words killed me. "OUR SPOT!" We had a spot!! I was so excited! When I looked out the window I noticed a lot of trees and a nice big lake. This must be our spot I thought to myself. He stopped the car in front of the lake. I was getting nervous cuz this would be my first time giving head tht Ik and I didn't know what he was gonna do to me.
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Zach grabbed my neck and pulled me into a deep kiss and then I got up and straddled him on the car seat.. he kissed down my neck and took off my dress revealing my bralete he removed tht too and started sucking on my nipples the sensation was amazing i literally rolled my head back.. it feels like iv done this before but in this life. It was great. He gave me a hickey on my neck and whispered in my ear saying " You are so hot babe.. please suck my dick" you giggled at tht and you pulled the seat further so you had room to go down on him. You accidentally put ur hand on the wheel to get steady and a loud honk came on. We both got scared and jumped he grabbed me and I looked out the window and I was pretty sure i saw someone out there I saw a blue jacket in the distance but zach started laughing and i looked back at zach and started to laught still curious who tht was out there . He kissed me again and then I got back into the mood. I went down on the car floor and pulled down is pants and his huge cock flew out and my eyes grew wide I was surprised how big he was I was lowkey scared I couldn't handle it but idk how but myself just started going at it and I  did it really good cuz zach was definitely pleased and I heard his cute ass moans. And it made me smile but I was shocked on how good I was doing .. he busted in my mouth but I didn't mind cuz he tasted so good. After tht session was over I put back my clothes on. And I  kissed zach and left a little mark on him as well. After We headed to school.
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When we got out of the car he held my hand. I felt secure and happy with him. And everyone was looking at us. When zach opened the doors to liberty hs he yelled " what's up my boys !!!" Looking over to Justin,Bryce,Jeff,Monty,and Steve mf Harrington! I couldn't believe he was friends with them but I mean look at Steve he is so hot with his hair and tht blue liberty high varsity jacket on.. I would fall for him in a heart beat but I snapped out of it and remembered I had a great boyfriend. And then I looked back at Steve and he gave me a wink. I was surprised he would do tht especially in front of ppl. And I heard a few familiar voices from a far calling my name. I turned to see who it was and it was my best friends. Spencer,Emily,Hannah,Aria,and Ali... I walked to them and they grabbed me in a huddle "hey eve are you okay ?!" "Is everything okay?" They asked.. I was super confused on why they were saying tht .. "yah ofc why ?!" I asked super curious but nervous as heck. "Oh no she doesn't know yet" said aria .. "wtf is going on!" I asked "ummm so there is pictures going around with you and Steve at a party hooking up" said Emily "I don't think zach saw yet cuz someone just uploaded them like 20 mins ago" said spencer.. I was so scared at what zach would think cuz I honestly don't remember anything tht happened tht night.. they showed me the photos and they were crazy bad.. I looked over and saw Bryce showing zach the photos.. zach looked at me disgusted.. I tried to go to him but he walked Away. I was no confused and hurt.. I went to class and he was in the same class. I saw him and he looked down mad and hurt. Ppl were looking at me disgusted and some jealous looks tht I got both super hot guys. I sat down and I kept looking at zach to think of what I should say after class.
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When the first period bell rang I watched him pack his stuff up and I quickly got up and grabbed his arm letting him tht I had to talk to him. "Zach please listen.. let me talk" I said . "Evelyn you fuxking lied and cheated on me there isn't much you can say" he said. "No the thing is i don't even remember doing those things with Steve like at all.. i would never want to hurt you Zach" I told him. "The thing is you still hurt me and Idk if I can forgive you for this" he said. " No babe please ! I honestly don't even like him and I don't remember a damn thing!" I explained. "Well it doesn't look like tht on those photos" he said walking away. I tried to hold back my tears but I couldn't and I ran to the bathrooms and went into a stall and wiped my tears away. When i was doing so I heard girls giggling and talking. I ended up listening to what they were saying. "I can't believe that Evelyn girl got caught cheating on her hot ass boyfriend" said one girl. "She is so dumb to think that she wouldn't get caught!" Said another girl. "Well let's hope Steve Harrington knows what he's doing to stay out of this drama.. he is so hot and shouldn't be with a girl like Evelyn.. it's literally not fair I mean like almost all the guys at liberty try to freaking hook up with her.. I guess she made that mistake with Harrington" both girls giggled and walked away. You heard everything and that made u cry even more but then you realized tht your the hot shot at the school and shouldn't care what ppl think. All I cared about was getting zach back !
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After school I tried to find Steve cuz I had to talk to him and get some answers .. I figured he would be up at the field practicing so I went up and there and I saw him along with many other guys I even saw zach and his face said it all .. he look bummed as ever and it hurt me to see him like .. so as I waited for the practice to be over I grabbed steves attention and I called him over. He saw me and got super happy to see me and ran to me.
"Hey beautiful wanna finish where we left off last Friday ?" Steve said
"Steve what are u talking about and why is all this happening?!" I told him
"Wdym I thought this is what you wanted..clearly you wanted me tht night. And I honestly don't know who took those pics and posted it. But all Ik is tht I want you with me" Steve said as he got super close to my face and tried to kiss me. I pushed him off
"Steve I'm sorry but we can't do this, I can't do this! I love zach and I don't want to hurt him anymore" I said to Steve
"Fine whatever do what you want be with him but Ik deep down you want me." Steve said and running back to the locker rooms. I stood there thinking to myself. After I gathered my thoughts and my belongings I headed to Zach's car to wait for him.
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When I saw zach heading to the car my stomach started to hurt cuz i was soo nervous on what was gonna go down .
"You ready to go" he said bluntly and got in the car
"Uh yeah but zach can I please talk to you" I said
"What about ? I told you there isn't much to say" zach said
"ZACH I LOVE YOU AND I DONT WANT TO EVER HURT YOU AGAIN!" I yelled to get in his head.
"Eve Ik you do. And Ik you were beyond drunk and I forgive you.. just make sure it doesn't happen EVER again !" He said . I was so happy he said tht .. I gave him a kiss and closed my eyes to rest.
When we got to my house he asked me if I wanted to go to a party.
"Hey babe before you go there's this party tonight at Bryces. Do you wanna go ?" He asked
"No thanks babe I rather spend it with you. If your down. I checked the movies that are playing at the crestmount and there's a good one i think you'll like" I told him
"That sounds way better babe! I'll pick u up 7" he said . I agreed and kissed him goodbye.
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Wanna Bite (Dean x Reader)
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sorry the pic is so effin’ big. tumblr hates me today...
Characters: Dean Winchester & Reader Summary: One-shot, where the reader is going on a diet and Dean wants to make sure she’s okay. Works for Plus-sized reader (like myself lol), but really we are pressured into body insecurities? Tried to keep it racially open, as well. Wordcount: 2100-ish Warnings and Ratings: Fluffy, romantic flirting, sexy talk; Body insecurity, little bit of angst A/N: This was fun to write. Would love to hear your feedback - pushing myself to finish and share more of my SPN story ideas. 
**** "Wanna bite?" Dean's voice nearly echoed through the quiet of the Bunker Library. He holds out a fork full of pumpkin pie to your mouth, playfully teasing you with the creamy harvest orange creation, daring you to give in. You want a taste of something alright, but he's not offering that just now. You do get a tiny thrill from his little wicked smile, as you make him wait. "Nope. I'm on a diet," you announce. "Since when? Come on, I need your opinion." Dean had bought 6 different pumpkin pies, including Patti Labelle's brand, for taste testing. You can not break his Pie-loving heart. You open you mouth for Dean and catch the pie on your tongue. "Mmm...I give pie number three 4 stars outta 5...I know, you probably can't tell..." He must be surprised in some part because of the pizza you chowed down on with him last night. And now this. You couldn’t resist - you have to live, right?! You ignore the tiny bit of guilt that is clinging to your conscience. "But yeah, I have to do something." "About what? What’s wrong with you?” His eyes scan your body from head to toe, for the thousandth time since you’ve known him. He catches your eyes and frowns in disapproval. He's not co-signing your dieting decision.
"Isn't it obvious?" You reply in confusion, why did you decide to even discuss it with him? It was a sensitive topic that you never discussed with anyone. "What's obvious is that you are too hard on yourself," Dean replies. "Takes one to know one." "Yeah, you told me before. Now, I'm giving the favor right back, Sweetheart. 
Okay, try this one." He lifts up another bit of pie to your lips. "How dare you use my words against me," you joke, to smooth over the awkwardness. You had no idea you would be discussing your health and body issues with Dean Winchester, but here you were. You taste pie number four.“Mmm...This one is better. Might be my favorite of the bunch.” "I'm just sayin' there are things about you to appreciate," he says. "Well, I appreciate that, but..." "No buts...There are things that I appreciate about you," he said firmly."But since you started it... You definitely have a great butt," he paused when he saw your wtf look. "If you don’t mind me saying so." "I'm strangely...not offended," you admit carefully. "Okay then, Y/N has an amazing butt. It's law." His hand slammed the library table to make it official and reaches for pie number five. "I thought you were a boob guy," slips out of your mouth before you can take it back. You had accidentally found one of his "special magazines" in one of the bathrooms once before. You said nothing, and but later that day they were gone, never to be seen in public again. "Not going to lie, I do. But when I see your body...It's like...You're into Art, right? You appreciate each painting for different reasons...Just because you like the Van Gogh, it doesn't mean you don’t enjoying Caravaggio." So he actually listened when you babbled on about Art? "You want me to go into detail about your frame? The background, the foreground, the color scheme, body placement...?" Shit, he was paying attention. You felt a bit more self-conscious, out of habit. You were so used to downplaying your body and staying away from the spotlight. You couldn't argue with Dean's "art theory" though. He went on before you could accept or deny his offer. "This wasn't because of the other night, I hope?" Oh that….You were hoping to forget what happened and was hoping he had as well. You get up quickly. "Can I get a drink before you stuff more pie down my throat? A beer maybe?" You make an attempt to change the subject as you head toward the bunker kitchen. Dean follows you. "Oh we are definitely talking about this. You don't even like beer." "Well, I'm thirsty. And someone has been drinking my wine faster than I can." "What can I say? You inspire the softer side of me." You try to ignore this comment, one of his many flirty remarks toward you. Was he staring at your "amazing butt" as you tried to get away? You definitely would be locked onto his backside if the roles were reversed. You reach for the orange juice, the one beverage outside of the consistently well-stocked beer arsenal in the Winchester fridge. Dean is so close on your heels, you bump into him when you turn around, the orange plastic juice jug hits his chest. It doesn't even faze him, he's like a dog with bone.   "...Now back to the other night..." He says. You let out an involuntary groan while you sit a glass down at the table and pour. Now that you've finally stopped moving, he catches your gaze, keeping you hostage. He would be so pissed if you were doing this to him. But usually, he would consider what you said and you had to do the same. You didn't have to like it though. "Okay, you mean when we were at The Rusty Fork and I made a fool of myself? That place? That night? That's what you want to talk about?" "I knew it bothered you more than you let on! That hipster douche was just a drunk asshole and I took care of him." Whatever Dean said or did, didn't take away the sting you still felt. That jerk had been stealing your attention all night, talking to you, laughing at each other's jokes. You thought there was a connection. "I only remember the part where he admitted to talking to me just to get to my "hotter friend" aka the much taller and skinnier, Talaya." Talaya was a sweet girl, but when you were around her, you felt invisible, or worse. She even got Dean's attention. That hurt the most though you had no rights to him, technically. The facts were that you two were getting closer, he practically made you move into the bunker since the Wraith had killed your roommate, and he openly flirted with you. It all just watered your growing crush until your feelings bloomed into scary level of intensity. The only way forward was down, the only direction you expected any romantic attachment to Dean to have. And that night had been a huge learning experience. No one should go after someone who doesn't feel the same. It was emotional suicide. "You conveniently forgot some of the facts," Dean said. "Like that other douche you exchanged numbers and social media accounts, and who knows what else with early in the evening." "You mean Barry?" "Yeah, Barry. Another bearded, hipster that you were attached to, before the other stuff went down." "Well, we there was a lot to like there," you admit, sheepishly. "He's an illustrator, he has two cats - AND his apartment might be haunted by some ghost kid. So I got us a case as well.. I was working, multi-tasking." "Honeybunch, you were working it alright. And I had a front row seat." If you didn’t know better, you would think Dean was...jealous?! You had nearly forgotten about Barry, his sweetness was overshadowed by later events. Plus, you thought he was just being nice, nothing more. "We just played pool," you say defensively. "And he lost because he was so distracted by you." "First of all, he was just sucked at pool. And wait - how did you see everything? You were busy with Talaya." "Don't you know by now that I always keep my eyes on you? Nothing's going to happen to you on my watch." "Well, I wasn't in danger and you were pretty busy." Why was he challenging your memories, what was his point? "I don't trust anyone around you, especially at a bar. And Talaya - We drank and we talked. What else did you see?" It had been simple just minutes ago. Jerk Douche pretending to be interested in you but really wanting to meet Talaya. Jerk Douche calling Talaya "the hot one," to your utter embarrassment. Later, Dean left the bar with Talaya.  Barry had been long gone and forgotten by then and you got out of there as fast as you could and into your own car. "You left with her!" You considered that your mike-drop and walked to the tv room, "Her friend that does Uber picked her up. She so was wasted. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. When I came back you were gone. How did you get pass me?" "I went out the back way." You sat your glass on the coffee table, and the two of you sat on the brown leather sofa that was more comfortable than it looked. "I called you! I even called Sam." Shit. He had called you. You didn't know until the next morning. You had been too embarrassed to bring it up. "I came home and saw you were in bed, got outta my clothes, and binge-watched Luke Cage until 4 in the morning." "Good show choice," you approved. You were a little distracted. The visual of Dean stripping off his clothes was fighting for attention. "So Dean...What are you trying to tell me?" "What I'm saying is don't feel bad, because of one fucker who doesn't deserve you anyway." "Thank you. That's very sweet." And you mean it, he's so serious and earnest about it, you accepted his compliment, for once. It seemed important to him. "Also, Confession Time: I'm doing it for myself. Heart problems run in my family and losing the weight helps. You know being around you guys is enough of a health risk!" "True that...So it's not about Bearded Douche? \”
“Nope. fuck him.” “Good. If that's what you want. I'll support it. I'm proud of you." “So you support me fucking him?” you play dumb. “Fuck no. I support your thing - your diet thingie. I want you to be around a long time.” You beam in the light of Dean's encouragement. There was one more thing that was bothering you though. "So who deserves me? I'm almost afraid of your answer!" He turns his body towards you. He took a moment to think and then said: "No one. “Ouch!” “No, silly. I mean you’re up here…” He lifted his hand in the air, above his head. “So I’m some cold bitch who’s destined to be alone?” “Jesus, will you stop looking for something negative, Woman?! The space between you gets smaller as he moves a few inches closer. “Look, the guy who always looks out for you….The guy who likes you right now, the way you are...The guy sitting here who wants to do some taste-testing on your lips...down your neck... travel  to some other places, many other places. Maybe you can give him a shot?" You feel thoroughly chastised, and it is a good thing in this case. "Well, that guy should come over here so we can work this out." Then he's leaning into you, no more space between the two of you. It’s like a light switch went from dim to full light, bright, electric energy. He brings a hand to your back, works up to the nape of your neck, messages the sensitive skin there. His other hand slowly rubs your thigh. "How will you support me? I don't need the food police, okay?" You enjoy the delaying him a bit more. "Nah, Sam is good with the healthy eating. Now, me....Cardio is good for the heart, right?" "I believe so.” Your thinking is fuzzy, nothing insightful can get through now. "I'm sure I can get your heart rate up." "Show me," you whisper into his waiting lips as they hover over your own. "You sure you ready? I don't want you to quit on me, when things get nice and hard, and deep..." "I’m all in." You barely know what you’re saying anymore. "It's better if I show you." He demonstrates in the most convincing way possible. The kiss began slow and sensual, but only heightens your mutual thirst and hunger. "Aren't we skipping a few steps here?" You weakly protest between smooches. "We can stop now..." "No!" You said louder than you intended to... He smiles into your mouth, lips still attached to yours. Now I can teach you the rest of my workout program. We have to get these knees up first..." THE END.
@trexrambling @roxyspearing @babypieandwhiskey @hot-craving@mango-blogs @jensenhandsome @cravingrichonne
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myrealityloveaffair · 7 years
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The Real World: Bad Blood
Season 32: Episode 7 & 8 & 9 & 10 & 11 & 12
Review
EXIT after EXIT after EXIT
How it all ends
Theo :“Do you know what it’s like to wake up every morning with a hard ass boner?”
hmmmmm this sounds like the either coming together of a kingdom, or the queen turning mad.
Lets visit this real world sh#t storm
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BTW I doubt they would air a guy jerking off, but then again... they did show Jordan being dry humped by the boogeyman (Mike)
Theo and mad queen Tyara had an undefined relationship that they blamed on each other......cute
How does Tyara go about the trials and tribulations of a relationship. A relationship specifically built on talking in circles and casual ass grabs?
Tyara: “My guy, that I was dancing on, he was a professional soccer player”
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Really b#tch? you are semi cheating on a ya man with a professional athlete.... aka that dream that was ripped from your man #Trauma aka what ya man has been crying about the whole time while filming on The Real World #DIED
Theo: “She is friend-zoning me”
She’s friend-zoning the kingdom, fam
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Tyara I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU! Girl wtf?!
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Theo: “She can bring buddy back, she can f##k him right next to me, Imma wake up, give him a high five and tell him pound harder”
LMAO Their history be like:
Theo&Tyara: We like each other Tyara: You gonna be the one that rides me no one else Theo: So are we something or nah Tyara: THAT IS WHAT I ASKED YOU! Tyara: *sees pro athlete, lets him ride her in front of Theo* Theo: ummm what is this? Tyara: nah, it seems like that..and it is..but nah. Hold up that’s my other man  Theo: bruh Tyara: WHAT MF?! Theo: BUT WHAT ABOUT US?! Tyara: THAT IS WHAT I SAID!!! Theo&Tyara: Well if he/she is moving so am I !!!
good times
No hard feelings right?
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Dang bitter again
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LMAO
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Dammit Gio stick to your show.
I wonder how Tyara feels about Theo
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BTW Mad Queen Tyara illegitimate pregnancy is no more... not sure what happened... don’t care
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The shade the crew had tho.... lmao
Did anyone catch this?:
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Sooooo.... she doesn’t know for sure?
anyway what’s Theo’s take on this?
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THEO WASN’T SUPPOSE TO MUTHAF##KIN LEAVE!!! It wasn’t suppose to be like this!!! 
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Theo and F##kBoy Kassius couldn’t live under the same roof anymore, keeping both would have been a safety liability.
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I guess production thought that F##kBoy Kassius would bring more drama to the show. 
F##kBoy Kassius, did Orlana dirty tho. 
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According to F##kBoy Kassius this was all in the name of friendship
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F##kBoy Kassius: “Obviously she was making it out to be something that it wasn’t” 
OMG yass F##kBoy Kassius,  deny,  blame, and deny again. Sounds a little familiar *cough*
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Look there is no smooth way of bringing up..... *barfs*..... *barfs some more*
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Peter: “Mike’s Mike. I know how he his. You know he tells people stories, and it would be like half true half not true and you know... do I believe it, probably not”
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Mike: ”Black guys love that sh#t? I bet. You guys can rub coconut oil on your ashy-ass skin together”
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His lengthy ass periscope on his controversial comments 
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Queenith CeeJai blesses scumbag Mike with a tweet.... little does she know
Mike bolted off the show (for the second time in his reality tv career), WITH Peter’s shoes
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so that’s how he stole $2000 dollars lmaooo
Well he just left single......
Wait...
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YES GURL ME TOO
So it turns out, Jordan KNEW about Tori. It was confirmed on the After Show (Finally they made some use to it). They were playing a game called “Who’s Side Piece Is This?” This was Mike’s:
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Jordan..... NO
But damn, Mike dropped her and everything like a hot rock
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Jordan: “He told me he was following in love with me, like, three days ago”
hmmmm sounds familiar ....
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Speaking of affairs....
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Jenn’s boyfriend Travis: “I hope this 5 seconds of fame was worth it”
LMFAOOOO 
So Jenn cheated on her boyfriend with *rolls eyes* Peter. The same dude that violently screams at her and hits objects....but what for? 
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Peter: “I clearly hate Anna... and I feel like Jenn has to stop talking to Anna...” whine whine whine ugh #paranoia 
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The shade the production crew threw at Peter was ... art. He had such bad editing... or is that just the way he is?  
Anna: “All we hear is Peter screaming. The entire house is upset.”
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Mike: “pete does this and he’s been doing this for years. He meets a girl that he finds attractive and if the girl finds him attractive at the same time, it’s like balls to the wall 100 mph... you think this is a one time thing?  this is the first step to the process. The second step is when she comes out with us and we get there he is going to sit there and if like one look to like another dude and that’s when sh#t is going to go off...”
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Peter: “I wasn’t even yelling, it’s not even yelling. Listen you wanna see me yell? I’ll scream”
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Um .... Jenn.... I don’t know about this one....
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Jenn: “The problem is, like, the fact that like no one f%%king knows what I’ve been through, I have been through an abusive relationship...” 
*cough* According to statistics, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you might wind up in another one, consciously or subconsciously.*cough* 
This behavior is down right demented... Imagine how Anna felt when PeterTheScreamer randomly asks to talk to her alone...
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LMAO this passive agressive b###h!! Of course Peter wants to take control of Jenn’s situation *cough*
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If she said more she would be feeling the wrath of PeterTheScreamer #Props 
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Oh she Peter now huh?
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here is a rare moment: Robbie being honest about how he feels about people... nice
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Jenn: “I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt. Peter was pissed at me that night and the reason why he was yelling at me is because he can’t stand you two, that’s why he was yelling at me”
I mean.... I don’t think there is any good reason why he should be abusive towards you but.....  
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same.... same
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There is no other way to handle this trash ass situation, tbh
Katrina: “Peter is just crazy, he like he just so annoying... and he is blowing something so little out of proportion he’s not a man he should not be in a relationship he needs to get help”
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LMAO She legit ditched him and he got so mad.... they live together....  #Psycho
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I wish I could say Jenn Peter came to her his senses
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TIME FOR COMBAT
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Peter: “STFU WITH YOUR FAKE ASS TITTIES”
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Production: “What are you trying to accomplish by commenting on her boobs?”
YASSSSS PRODUCTION CALL HIS ASS OUT!!!!!!!! DRAG HIM
Orlana: “Peter looked like he was about to fight them, like He got very close”
Production: “We have decided to send you home and end your experience in Seattle the punch to the refrigerator and the punching of walls are demonstrations of angry outbursts u have had in the past. You were told by Matt that those sort of aggressive outbursts could not be tolerated you agreed and told him that these sort of incidents would not happen again. Last Sunday your behavior was hostile intimidating and was the spark that led the fight between Jenn and Anna. You pushed Jenn away several times in an effort to get her to stop restraining you. After the altercation between Jenn and Anna you physically imposed security and you got into Anna’s face in an imposing and physically threatening way. You antagonized Anna. Due to your continued instigation and hostile behavior with your roommates you are being sent home tonight you must leave the house by 8 pm.” 
LMAOOOOOO YASSSSSSSSS YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
“you good?  any last words? you sure? its your last moment?”
Prince charming storms away hoping to rescue his long lost lover, trapped in his enemies lair....
Peter: “she doesn’t think like us dude, she is dumb....“
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Peter: “If i wasn’t with her, i would probably fight Robbie... just because”
Damn .... no allies 
Mike: “She’s not that hot”
Peter asks.... haha yeah right, not with them demonic eyes. Peter tells Jenn...
Peter: “I need you to leave with me” Jenn: “That’s not fair Peter” Peter: “I don’t care”
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Oddly enough this PeterTheScreamer session wasn’t started by Anna-Katrina or Jenn. The night was .... dare I say... instigated.... but by whom?
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None of this would have ever have happened if he just stuck with his act of “Everybody is cool with Robbie persona” 
Robbie: ““Domestic abuse verbal.” Who could be Googling that?”
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Why does he have animosity towards that stack sisters?
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Robbie: “....Every night? separating yourself from the group?”
but nah that wasn’t the real issue... the real issue?
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Robbie: “Honestly I am a little annoyed about this... I wanted everyone to enjoy”
They Betrayed Robbie’s MEATBALLS
Robbie does have a mean streak, this is the same guy that burned all of his ex-gf’s (Jenn) belongings and sent her a video of it .... like bruh you were the one that missed the single life not her
Robbie could have been... dare I say... a production puppet. After all he was the only one that got filmed at the end for his arrival at home
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Little moments from this terrible show about 7 (or more) strangers:
Peter’s removal from the house:
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The house banding together against racial inequalities:
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Will and his... issue: 
Will: “Yo, could you grab me some toilet paper”
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Dueling cousins, dueling on literally everything:
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UPDATES
MTV did their after the show update here . Tyara declined (or wasn’t asked) for an after-real-world-update. Maybe she was bitter about MTV outing her pregnancy... perhaps she had more in common to Theo than we thought. It’s safe to say her ass ain’t coming back to mtv. 
Theo and Whats-Her-Face-Anika competed on “The Challenge: Invasion Of The Champs”. You blink and they are gone. 
TORI FINALLY SPILLS THE TEA
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“Are You The One” after show of season 5 episode 6
“The Aftermatch: No Bro-Code”
Tori: “So Mike went on another reality show called the real world, and he cheated on me with a girl named Jordan, who was also on the show, and obviously that aired, and then that blew up our relationship, and I found out and now Mike, and I absolutely don’t talk. I have a restraining order against him, and it ended really bad... and it was the worse mistake of my life”
RIP: To all the beefs, pranks, and funny times MTV felt compelled to edit out -_-
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Wanna Bite (v.2)
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sorry for the big-ass titlecard!
Characters: Dean Winchester & WOC!Reader Summary: The reader is going on a diet and Dean wants to make sure she’s okay. Works for Plus-sized reader (like myself lol), but really we are pressured into body insecurities? Wordcount: 2100-ish Warnings and Ratings: Fluffy, romantic flirting, sexy talk; Body insecurity, little bit of angst A/N:  I made a few changes to my racially-neutral version. This was fun to write. Would love to hear your feedback - pushing myself to finish and share more of my SPN story ideas.
Happy Reading, shoetingstar*
**** "Wanna bite?" Dean's voice nearly echoed through the quiet of the Bunker Library. He holds out a fork full of pumpkin pie to your mouth, playfully teasing you with the creamy harvest orange creation, daring you to give in. You want a taste of something alright, but he's not offering that just now. You do get a tiny thrill from his little wicked smile, as you make him wait. "Nope. I'm on a diet," you announce. "Since when? Come on, I need your opinion." Dean had bought 6 different pumpkin pies, including Patti Labelle's brand, for taste testing. "Plus, I told you where I'm from we eat Sweet Potato Pie." But you can't bring yourself to break his Pie-loving heart. You open you mouth for Dean and catch the pie on your tongue. "Mmm...I give pie number three 4 stars outta 5...I know, you probably can't tell..." He must be surprised in some part because of the pizza you chowed down on with him last night. And now this. You couldn’t resist - you have to live, right?! You ignore the tiny bit of guilt that is clinging to your conscience. "But yeah, I have to do something." "About what? What’s wrong with you?” His eyes scan your body from head to toe, for the thousandth time since you’ve known him. He catches your eyes and frowns in disapproval. He's not co-signing your dieting decision.
"Isn't it obvious?" You reply in confusion, why did you decide to even discuss it with him? It was a sensitive topic that you never discussed with anyone.
"What's obvious is that you are too hard on yourself," Dean replies. "Takes one to know one." "Yeah, you told me before. Now, I'm giving the favor right back, Sweetheart. Okay, try this one." He lifts up another bit of pie to your lips. "How dare you use my words against me," you joke, to smooth over the awkwardness. You had no idea you would be discussing your health and body issues with Dean Winchester, but here you were. You taste pie number four.“Mmm...This one is better. Might be my favorite of the bunch.” "I'm just sayin' there are things about you to appreciate," he says. "Well, I appreciate that, but..." "No buts...There are things that I appreciate about you," he said firmly."But since you started it... You definitely have a great butt," he paused when he saw your wtf look. "If you don’t mind me saying so." "I'm strangely...not offended," you admit carefully. "Okay then, Y/N has an amazing butt. It's law." His hand slammed the library table to make it official and reaches for pie number five. "I thought you were a boob guy," slips out of your mouth before you can take it back. You had accidentally found one of his "special magazines" in one of the bathrooms once before. You said nothing, and but later that day they were gone, never to be seen in public again. "Not going to lie, I do. But when I see your body...It's like...You're into Art, right? You appreciate each painting for different reasons...Just because you like the Van Gogh, it doesn't mean you don’t enjoying Caravaggio." So he actually listened when you babbled on about Art? "You want me to go into detail about your frame? The background, the foreground, the color scheme, body placement...?" Shit, he was paying attention. You felt a bit more self-conscious, out of habit. You were so used to downplaying your body and staying away from the spotlight. You couldn't argue with Dean's "art theory" though. He went on before you could accept or deny his offer. "This wasn't because of the other night, I hope?" Oh that….You were hoping to forget what happened and was hoping he had as well. You get up quickly. "Can I get a drink before you stuff more pie down my throat? A beer maybe?" You make an attempt to change the subject as you head toward the bunker kitchen. Dean follows you. "Oh we are definitely talking about this. You don't even like beer." "Well, I'm thirsty. And someone has been drinking my wine faster than I can." "What can I say? You inspire the softer side of me." You try to ignore this comment, one of his many flirty remarks toward you. Was he staring at your "amazing butt" as you tried to get away? You definitely would be locked onto his backside if the roles were reversed. You reach for the orange juice, the one beverage outside of the consistently well-stocked beer arsenal in the Winchester fridge. Dean is so close on your heels, you bump into him when you turn around, the orange plastic juice jug hits his chest. It doesn't even faze him, he's like a dog with bone.   "...Now back to the other night..." He says. You let out an involuntary groan while you sit a glass down at the table and pour. Now that you've finally stopped moving, he catches your gaze, keeping you hostage. He would be so pissed if you were doing this to him. But usually, he would consider what you said and you had to do the same. You didn't have to like it though. "Okay, you mean when we were at The Rusty Fork and I made a fool of myself? That place? That night? That's what you want to talk about?" "I knew it bothered you more than you let on! That hipster douche was just a drunk asshole and I took care of him." Whatever Dean said or did, didn't take away the sting you still felt. That jerk had been stealing your attention all night, talking to you, laughing at each other's jokes. You thought there was a connection. "I only remember the part where he admitted to talking to me just to get to my "hotter friend" aka the much taller and skinnier, Talaya." Talaya was a sweet girl, but when you were around her, you felt invisible, or worse. She even got Dean's attention. That hurt the most though you had no rights to him, technically. The facts were that you two were getting closer, he practically made you move into the bunker since the Wraith had killed your roommate, and he openly flirted with you. It all just watered your growing crush until your feelings bloomed into scary level of intensity. The only way forward was down, the only direction you expected any romantic attachment to Dean to have. And that night had been a huge learning experience. No one should go after someone who doesn't feel the same. It was emotional suicide. "You conveniently forgot some of the facts," Dean said. "Like that other douche you exchanged numbers and social media accounts, and who knows what else with early in the evening." "You mean Barry?" "Yeah, Barry. Another bearded, hipster that you were attached to, before the other stuff went down." "Well, we there was a lot to like there," you admit, sheepishly. You could feel yourself blushing, if you were paler Dean would see it too. "He's an illustrator, he has two cats - AND his apartment might be haunted by some ghost kid. So I got us a case as well.. I was working, multi-tasking." "Honeybunch, you were working it alright. And I had a front row seat." If you didn’t know better, you would think Dean was...jealous?! You had nearly forgotten about Barry, his sweetness was overshadowed by later events. Plus, you thought he was just being nice, nothing more. "We just played pool," you say defensively. "And he lost because he was so distracted by you." "First of all, he was just sucked at pool. And wait - how did you see everything? You were busy with Talaya." "Don't you know by now that I always keep my eyes on you? Nothing's going to happen to you on my watch." "Well, I wasn't in danger and you were pretty busy." Why was he challenging your memories, what was his point? "I don't trust anyone around you, especially at a bar. And Talaya - We drank and we talked. What else did you see?" It had been simple just minutes ago. Jerk Douche pretending to be interested in you but really wanting to meet Talaya. Jerk Douche calling Talaya "the hot one," to your utter embarrassment. Later, Dean left the bar with Talaya.  Barry had been long gone and forgotten by then and you got out of there as fast as you could and into your own car. "You left with her!" You considered that your mike-drop and walked to the tv room, "Her friend that does Uber picked her up. She so was wasted. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. When I came back you were gone. How did you get pass me?" "I went out the back way." You sat your glass on the coffee table, and the two of you sat on the brown leather sofa that was more comfortable than it looked. "I called you! I even called Sam." Shit. He had called you. You didn't know until the next morning. You had been too embarrassed to bring it up. "I came home and saw you were in bed, got outta my clothes, and binge-watched Luke Cage until 4 in the morning." "Good show choice," you approved. You were a little distracted. The visual of Dean stripping off his clothes was fighting for attention. "So Dean...What are you trying to tell me?" "What I'm saying is don't feel bad, because of one fucker who doesn't deserve you anyway." "Thank you. That's very sweet." And you mean it, he's so serious and earnest about it, you accepted his compliment, for once. It seemed important to him. "Also, Confession Time: I'm doing it for myself. Heart problems run in my family and losing the weight helps. You know being around you guys is enough of a health risk!" "True that...So it's not about Bearded Douche?”
“Nope. fuck him.” “Good. If that's what you want. I'll support it. I'm proud of you." “So you support me fucking him?” you play dumb. “Fuck no. I support your thing - your diet thingie. I want you to be around a long time.” You beam in the light of Dean's encouragement. There was one more thing that was bothering you though. "So who deserves me? I'm almost afraid of your answer!" He turns his body towards you. He took a moment to think and then said: "No one. “Ouch!” “No, silly. I mean you’re up here…” He lifted his hand in the air, above his head. “So I’m some cold bitch who’s destined to be alone?” “Jesus, will you stop looking for something negative, Woman?! The space between you gets smaller as he moves a few inches closer. “Look, the guy who always looks out for you….The guy who likes you right now, the way you are...The guy sitting here who wants to do some taste-testing on your lips...down your neck... travel  to some other places, many other places. Maybe you can give him a shot?" You feel thoroughly chastised, and it is a good thing in this case. "Well, that guy should come over here so we can work this out." Then he's leaning into you, no more space between the two of you. It’s like a light switch went from dim to full light, bright, electric energy. He brings a hand to your back, works up to the nape of your neck, messages the sensitive skin there. His other hand slowly rubs your thigh. "How will you support me? I don't need the food police, okay?" You enjoy the delaying him a bit more. "Nah, Sam is good with the healthy eating. Now, me....Cardio is good for the heart, right?" "I believe so.” Your thinking is fuzzy, nothing insightful can get through now. "I'm sure I can get your heart rate up." "Show me," you whisper into his waiting lips as they hover over your own. "You sure you ready? I don't want you to quit on me, when things get nice and hard, and deep..." "I’m all in." You barely know what you’re saying anymore. "It's better if I show you." He demonstrates in the most convincing way possible. The kiss began slow and sensual, but only heightens your mutual thirst and hunger. "Aren't we skipping a few steps here?" You weakly protest between smooches. "We can stop now..." "No!" You said louder than you intended to... He smiles into your mouth, lips still attached to yours. Now I can teach you the rest of my workout program. We have to get these knees up first..." THE END.
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Ali & Carly
Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense 😒 sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise
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roseisread · 7 years
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Top 25 Movies of 2016
I saw 51 of the many more films released in 2016, so naturally this list suffers from the usual incompleteness. But of those 51, the movies listed below are the ones that really stuck with me, entertained me, moved me, or made me see the world through a different lens after the credits rolled. Some of them are deeply personal and hold great meaning; others are just a great excuse to laugh or shudder or sob about something that doesn’t matter so you don’t have to think about the things in real life that might evoke that reaction for a couple hours. 
If you saw something amazing that didn’t make the list, be sure to let me know so I can add it to my watchlist (or defend my choice to leave it off the list of faves). 
25. Zootopia (Netflix) At a time when the world was finding reasons to divide itself into fractious subgroups, along came a winsome little animated film about tolerance and eschewing stereotypes. The animation is top notch, the story is funny and action-packed, and any scene featuring the sloth from the DMV threatened my ability to breathe because I was laughing so hard. If you missed it in theaters, be sure to catch up with it on Netflix. It’s a real gem. 
24. The Conjuring 2 (Amazon/iTunes rental) The first Conjuring got a ton of acclaim but I wasn’t that enamored with it. This one, on the other hand, totally delivers. Once again, Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson star as paranormal investigators who are plagued by dark forces. This time, the action centers on a family in England (inspired by the somewhat infamous Enfield Poltergeist) with an unwanted apparition who interacts with them in all kinds of upsetting ways. Rather than relying solely on jump scares, there’s a lot of great suspenseful sequences and practical effects that use the atmosphere and physical space to masterful effect. Plus, the characters are likable and we are rooting for them which goes a long way toward making this a better than average horror movie. 
23. The Edge of Seventeen (Theaters) Hailee Steinfeld plus Woody Harrelson equals brilliance. Add to the mix the savvy direction of first timer Kelly Fremon Craig and the charming supporting cast (particularly Hayden Szeto) and you have a winning combo that leaves other teen dramedies in the dust. The story is relatable for anyone who experienced high school: Nadine feels alienated at school and at home, partly because high school sucks and parents just don’t understand but also partly because she sees herself as just a little bit superior to her peers and family members. She’s a classic Holden Caulfield type, really. When her best friend starts dating Nadine’s brother and mortal enemy, she takes it as a personal betrayal. Between this, her crush on a bad boy type, and her tentative steps toward romance with a nerdy but sweet classmate, she’s got a lot on her plate. Naturally, she takes solace by venting to her favorite teacher, the bemused Harrelson who takes all of her abuse and whining with stoic aplomb. 
22. Jackie (Theaters) I was born in 1981, which means I don’t have any personal connection to Jackie O. the way people of my parents generation did. I don’t have recollections of seeing her on TV or experiencing the Kennedy assassination, but I’ve been hearing about it all my life and thus feel like I know the story. This movie took me by surprise by showing me something new, something I’d never considered: The personal grief of a tremendously public loss. Natalie Portman embodies the carefully manicured public persona as well as the private devastation of Jackie Kennedy in the days surrounding JFK’s death. It’s not a traditional biopic, and not a traditional historical drama. That makes sense coming from Chilean director Pablo Larrain, who also gave us the excellent political thriller/comedy No a few years ago. He captures pivotal moments and edits them together into a kind of fractured consciousness befitting the recently bereft Jackie. 
21. 10 Cloverfield Lane (Amazon/GooglePlay rental) I’ve still never seen the original Cloverfield (I know, I know), but I do love me some John Goodman being a possible creeper so I had to see this movie. The title really was an afterthought; the story was written independent of the horror franchise and marketing decided a built-in audience and some name recognition would boost ticket sales. All of this to say, you don’t need to know or love Cloverfield to know and love 10 Cloverfield Lane. Essentially it’s a chamber piece, modeled on some of Hitchcock’s techniques (Lifeboat/Rope/Dial M for Murder).  Oh and also the original script got a once-over by a certain Damien Chazelle, who was once slated to direct it as well until Whiplash got greenlit and then he got a little busy making a movie called La La Land which may or may not be definitely coming up later in this list so... yeah. But anyways. It’s got that breathlessness and intensity Chazelle brought to life in his other movies, but this time in an actual horror/suspense setting. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Gallagher, Jr. play Goodman’s reluctant houseguests in his underground bunker. Goodman claims to be protecting them from something horrible outside; they’re not sure whether to believe him or to trust their instinct that the something horrible is Goodman himself. All three performances are excellent, and your nerves will be frayed little bundles by the time 103 minutes is up. 
20. Certain Women (Theaters) Just watching this movie made me feel physically cold. It takes place in Montana, and is essentially a triptych that follows three different women in the same small town. The first, played by Laura Dern, is an attorney with a particularly high maintenance client (Jared Harris). The second is a woman (Michelle Williams) who feels alienated from her husband and their teenage daughter, even as the family is working on building a house together. The final story, and by far my favorite, focuses on a farmhand (the glorious Lily Gladstone in a breakout role) who chances upon a night class taught by Kristen Stewart and becomes transfixed. This is a quiet film, about women who yearn for more than their lives so far have given them. Each one deals with the small injustices and tiny victories that ordinary events bestow, but one senses beneath the surface a lingering question of “Is this all there is?” In that way, it’s totally relatable. There aren’t a lot of major plot arcs here, but that’s exactly the point of the film. In watching this movie, you realize that Henry David Thoreau’s quote about the masses leading lives of quiet desperation might well be answered by Simone de Beauvoir: “I think that where you go wrong is that you imagine that your reasons for living ought to fall on you, ready-made from heaven, whereas we have to find them for ourselves.” 
19. Don’t Think Twice (YouTube/GooglePlay rental) If you listen to podcasts at all (especially This American Life, WTF, or You Made It Weird), you should know the name Mike Birbiglia by now. He’s a comic turned actor/writer/director and this is his latest original work. This time, he enlisted fellow talented comics to join him onscreen: Chris Gethard, Gillian Jacobs, Keegan Michael Key, Kate Micucci, and Tami Sagher play his friends and fellow members of an improv troupe. They’re all people you know or have been--starving artist types who are holding onto a dream that comedy will one day pay the bills and take them to the next level. When that actually happens to one of them, the group dynamic shifts considerably. As Morrissey so accurately sings, “We hate it when our friends become successful.” But really, the truth is we hate ourselves when our friends become successful. It makes us question whether it’s a matter of deserving it or working hard or random chance.  The great thing about this movie is the blend of truly hilarious comedic moments and stirring emotional honesty. It’s about friendship, it’s about surviving your thirties, it’s about figuring out if the dreams you’ve had your whole life are the dreams you still actually want to come true. If you can get through Gillian Jacobs’ incredible solo improv performance toward the end of this movie without tears, you get to be the new Clear Eyes spokesperson instead of Ben Stein. 
18. Love and Friendship (Amazon Prime) This movie features one of the funniest characters of the year, an immensely clueless rich dolt named Sir James Martin (Tom Bennett), who marvels at the existence of peas and struggles to arrive at the correct number of commandments. Who could be responsible for such a creation? Well, who else but the writer whose best work pokes fun at social climbers and wealthy nitwits: Jane Austen. Whit Stillman adapted her little known work Lady Susan into this charming and hilarious period piece starring Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Stephen Fry, and Xavier Samuel. Beckinsale does her absolute greatest work in this movie--I had no idea she was capable of this kind of performance, and she absolutely slays. As far as Austen adaptations go, this one is my favorite since Clueless--and that’s about the highest praise I could offer. 
17. Don’t Breathe (YouTube/Amazon/Vudu Rental) The premise of Fede Alvarez’s sophomore thriller is simple: A trio of young Detroit opportunists break into the home of a blind veteran (Stephen Lang) after hearing he’s got a lot of cash in the house, figuring it’ll be an easy score. But they underestimate this particular blind man and his ability to protect his home and property. The result is a fast-paced cat and mouse game that will definitely have you holding your breath for long chunks of time. I had a blast watching this movie, even if it should have ended a few scenes earlier than it did. 
16. Hell or High Water (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) One of my favorite pieces of music, classical or otherwise, is Aaron Copeland’s Fanfare for the Common Man. This composition was directly inspired by a speech delivered by Henry Wallace in 1942, which outlined the cause of freedom and the stakes of World War II while also setting a tone for the whole century as one in which ordinary people--the common man--would share the same standard of living, of educational and economic opportunity, of scientific discovery.  An excerpt of this speech reads thusly: “When the freedom-loving people march; when the farmers have an opportunity to buy land at reasonable prices and to sell the produce of their land through their own organizations, when workers have the opportunity to form unions and bargain through them collectively, and when the children of all the people have an opportunity to attend schools which teach them truths of the real world in which they live — when these opportunities are open to everyone, then the world moves straight ahead.” Well, the world has continued moving since those words were spoken, but those opportunities are certainly not yet open to everyone despite promises all around that anyone in America should be able to succeed on grit and good will alone. When grit and good will fail to deliver, some people give up and some people become outlaws. That’s where we find our protagonists in this movie, Toby and Tanner Howard (Chris Pine and Ben Foster, respectively), as it opens. They’re robbing banks out of perceived necessity, and also out of a sense of Karma not acting quite fast enough for their liking. Meanwhile, a pair of Texas Rangers (Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham) get assigned to the case and aim to catch up with whoever’s responsible and give ‘em hell.  The film is beautifully shot by cinematographer Giles Nuttgens, and the screenplay contains scintillating dialogue and the kind of characters you might find in a classic Western, plus a final showdown for the ages. On the performance side, there’s not a weak one in the bunch. Chris Pine proves he’s more than just a pretty face and Jeff Bridges sheds his Dude persona to give an even better performance here than in his Oscar-winning turn in Crazy Heart. If you need a movie to watch with your Dad that you can both enjoy, this is that movie. 
15. De Palma (Amazon Prime) Sisters. Carrie. Dressed to Kill. Blow Out. Mission Impossible. Body Double. Scarface. The Untouchables. Casualties of War. About 20 other films--all directed by Brian De Palma, the subject of this documentary. For some, he’s alienating. For me, this guy is legendary. His films pick up where Hitchcock left off and go running off in their own bonkers directions, oozing style and excess and delivering tawdry and thrilling twists along the way. I’m convinced that one day he’ll be revered by film students and not just genre lovers, and at that point this doc will serve as a Hitchcock/Truffaut type text.  The doc is really just De Palma going through his filmography chronologically, shots of him talking edited together with clips from every one of his movies and archival behind the scenes footage. That might sound boring but I promise you it is not. He tells lots of stories, does not shy away from pointing out the flaws and issues in his movies, and reflects on the reception his movies have received from critics and cultural scholars over the years. He also tells some fascinating stories from his youth that shed light on the types of movies he grew up to make. He also talks a lot about his techniques and the way his shooting style developed. If you are interested in filmmaking or De Palma or both, this movie will have you riveted from start to finish.
14. Manchester by the Sea (Theaters) For a meditation on grief and loss, this movie made me laugh a lot. That might sound inappropriate, but if you’ve ever experienced loss yourself, you know it’s not linear and doesn’t follow rules or codes of conduct. Sometimes you laugh at inopportune times. Sometimes you want to cry and can’t. Sometimes you melt down at the sight of frozen food (see what I did there? Melt/frozen! Ahh I kill me sometimes).  Casey Affleck and Lucas Hedges make a great onscreen team, with Affleck playing Lee Chandler and Hedges playing Patrick, Lee’s teenage nephew. They’ve both lost someone important to them, but neither is great at opening up on the subject. Lee does his best to take care of his nephew, but he feels ill-equipped to be the stable parental figure Patrick needs. For his part, Patrick would prefer to keep things the way they are. “I have two girlfriends and I’m in a band!” he points out, and who is Lee to argue with that kind of logic? 
Of course I can’t finish discussing this movie without highlighting the luminous presence of Michelle Williams, who owns every second she’s onscreen (which isn’t very long). Her final scene with Affleck broke me right in two. 
13. Born to be Blue (Digital Purchase) Every year springs new musical biopics upon us, to varying degrees of creativity and critical acclaim or derision. My favorite one from 2016 was Robert Budreau’s nonlinear narrative inspired by incidents from the life of Chet Baker as portrayed by Ethan Hawke, who gives his best performance outside a movie with “Before” in the title. For the unfamiliar, Chet Baker is best known as the singer of “My Funny Valentine” today, but he was also a prominent jazz trumpet player and part of the West Coast jazz scene in the 1950s and 60s. As so many artist types, his genius was often threatened by his dalliances with substances and people whose momentary glamor gave way to decay and destruction. 
Hawke captures Baker’s charming qualities as well as his tendencies toward self-sabotage, and the movie does not feel like a typical biopic as it incorporates a more meditative approach than a chronological one. There’s also a movie-within-the-movie which adds to the novel feel and keeps this from just hitting all the major events in Baker’s life in order. Carmen Ejogo is excellent as Baker’s primary love interest, a complex and well-drawn foil for the troubled musician. Her character is an amalgam of real life people, but she stands out as more than just your typical long-suffering wife/lover trope. 
12. Fences (Theaters) August Wilson’s intimate play gets the cinematic treatment at the hands of Denzel Washington, who both directed and stars here. Troy (Washington) is a garbage man who drinks a lot and talks a lot more to his wife Rose (Viola Davis), his friend Bono (Stephen Henderson), his son Cory (Jovan Adeppo), and others who show up at his doorstep.  The story is simple, but the characters are anything but. This may be my favorite ever Denzel performance, and certainly my pick for Best Actor in a Leading Role of 2016. Davis is phenomenal too, in a quiet but steady way. And not as many people are talking about Stephen Henderson, who played Bono in the play as well as the movie, but he’s excellent.  If you want to hear beautifully written dialogue (and monologues), see some of the year’s best performances, and be moved by a family drama that feels relevant even though it was written and set in a bygone era, go see Fences. 
11. Midnight Special (On Demand) In the first of two Jeff Nichols-directed movies that came out in 2016, Michael Shannon (a frequent Nichols collaborator) is a father trying to protect his son. The boy has some unique abilities, to say the least, and everyone from cult leaders to government agencies wants to exploit those abilities. It’s part superhero origin story, part Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and all about the joy, terror, and unbridled love that come with being a parent.  The movie features memorable visuals as well as supporting performances from Joel Edgerton, Kirsten Dunst, and Adam Driver. The ending may leave you with more questions than answers, but the emotions it evokes are unmistakable.
10. Tower (iTunes) In 1966, a lone gunman stood atop a tower on the University of Texas campus and opened fire on the unsuspecting people below. For the next 96 minutes, chaos and carnage took over the scene as law enforcement and campus officials tried to devise a way to stop the shooter without endangering more lives. This documentary tells the story of that day from the perspective of people who were there, using interviews and re-staging events using rotoscoping animation.  The result is one of the most powerful documentaries in recent memory (outside of Joshua Oppenheimer’s The Act of Killing and The Look of Silence). Hearing from victims, bystanders, police officers, journalists, and students who experienced this firsthand reveals so much about the nature of trauma, the way we react in extreme circumstances, and the contrast between what was then a first-of-its kind incident and what is now an all too frequent occurrence: The campus shooting spree. It’s never preachy, just lets each person tell their own story. Always, the focus is on the people on the ground rather than the person behind the violence. It’s a must-see film.
9. Arrival (Theaters) Denis Villeneuve has become one of my favorite directors of recent years, and it’s great to see a film of his get embraced so widely by audiences as well as critics. In case you haven’t yet seen it, this movie features Amy Adams as a linguist and Jeremy Renner as a scientist. Both of them have been recruited to help the government communicate with the aliens who have recently parked giant pods all over the world.  The movie opens with a much more human story, and if you cried at the beginning of Up you will certainly shed tears here too. I won’t give more away than that, but what happens informs the emotions and decisions made throughout the film in interesting ways.  I love the visuals of this film, and the emotional arc of the story. I also adored all the technical linguistic things that were going on, and I don’t know enough about science or language to know whether they were plausible so I’m just going to assume ignorance is bliss and aids in suspension of disbelief. There is one scene that seems to create a divide in audiences between loving and hating this movie. I won’t explain beyond saying it involves a phone call, so if you’ve seen it you know what I’m talking about. I can understand the criticism, but for me it was not enough to derail all that came before and after.  If you haven’t seen this yet and you like your science fiction with a few tugs on the heartstrings, this is definitely worth your time. 
8. The Lobster (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) I adore this movie, but that does not mean you will. I have to put that caveat right up front. In fact, at least one person I recommended this movie to absolutely hated it. So, take my opinion with a grain of salt but I will try to convey truth in advertising.  Yorgos Lanthimos, whose previous films were Dogtooth and Alps, makes his English language debut with this dystopian romantic comedy. Colin Farrell, John C. Reilly, Rachel Weisz, Ben Wishaw, Lea Seydoux, and Olivia Colman are the human subjects who populate the story. In their world, if you find yourself without a partner, you go to a hotel where you have 45 days to pair up with someone. If you do not find a suitable match, then at the end of 45 days you get turned into the animal of your choice. You can extend the time of your matchmaking opportunities by going out to the forest and hunting “loners,” people who have escaped from the hotel in the past and choose to live lives of solitude.  It’s a wacky premise, but leads to numerous laugh out loud scenarios in addition to the more plaintive moments. I should warn you that there is a scene or two of violence involving an animal, which may be tough to watch for some. That may be one of the reasons people hate it. But as a critique of human behavior and society’s obsessions, it’s quite an effective parable. 
The latter half of the film takes a different turn, and while I don’t want to give away what happens, that’s why I called this a “romantic” comedy. You may not want to watch it with your date on Valentine’s Day, but if you do it should certainly give you much to discuss afterward.
7. April and the Extraordinary World (YouTube/Vudu/GooglePlay/Amazon Rental) This animated steampunk French film features a talking cat and a whipsmart girl and an underground lair and a bunch of other wondrous things that I don’t dare attempt to describe. It’s an alternative history film, it features the voice of the marvelous Marion Cotillard, and it should’ve been nominated for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars. Alas, it was not. But if you want to watch a gorgeous, funny, charming film that might inspire a generation of girls to go into STEM careers, watch this. 
6. The Neon Demon (Amazon Prime) I feel intoxicated every time I even recall this sumptuous film. If you missed my review of it earlier this year, go check it out and then go watch this film... if you dare.
5. Sing Street (Netflix) This is, hands down, the feel good movie of the year. Written and directed by John Carney, who gave us Once and Begin Again, this film is set in Ireland in the early 1980s. The premise is simple, really: A boy starts a band to impress a girl that’s out of reach. Not only does he hope to impress her with the music, but he convinces her to star in their music videos since she’s seeking a career as a model. Then he has to actually form the band, and learn how to play instruments and write songs. Along the way, his older and cooler brother educates him on the cool musicians of the day: The Smiths, Duran Duran, The Clash, The Jam, Hall & Oates, The Cure, Spandau Ballet.  The original songs in this film are super catchy and fun, and serve as homages to the great bands referenced above. If you’re a sucker for the films of John Hughes, the music of the 80s, and stories about brothers and coming of age and following your dreams, this is the movie for you. 
4. The Handmaiden (Theaters) Take a novel  set in Victorian England about pickpockets, conmen, and insane asylums that’s been referred to as “lesbian Dickens” (Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith), and set it in colonial South Korea, and make sure it’s directed by the guy who made Oldboy. This is a recipe for the most gorgeously photographed, erotically charged, bonkers in the best way movie of the year.  I don’t want to get too far into the story which has so many delicious surprises, but the quick version is that an orphan pickpocket goes to live with a rich but possibly mentally ill young woman to serve as her handmaiden. This is all in an attempt to con said rich young woman into a marriage plot with a smooth talking ne’er do well man. And there’s also the added wrinkle of the rich girl’s creepy uncle, who collects banned erotic books and holds readings in his library for men who pass through. It’s a very unsettling atmosphere for two young ladies, and they form a bond with one another in spite of themselves.  There are moments of horror, laughter, and blush-inducing romance in this unrated film (don’t watch it with Grandma unless she has a very open mind and you have a very comfortable relationship). Its runtime is 145 minutes but I wanted to stay in this world forever. 
3. Green Room (Amazon/iTunes/GooglePlay Rental) We lost too many good people last year, and Anton Yelchin was one of the losses that hurt the most. In this movie, he gives arguably his best performance as a member of a punk band that gets in way over its head when they take a gig for gas money that takes place in a remote area where most of the audience is neo-Nazi skinheads. They get through the performance, uncomfortable as it is, but the real trouble happens later when one of them witnesses something their hosts really don’t want them to see. From there, it’s a tense stalemate as the band members have to improvise and evaluate who can be trusted. The movie is directed by Jeremy Saulnier, who gave us the excellent and underrated Blue Ruin a few years ago. This one has a similar blend of regular people in irregular situations, with plenty of blood and gore but also a fair bit of humor and a whole lot of real raw punk rock, both on the soundtrack and in the aesthetic. It helps that Saulnier was in a band himself back in the day, so he brings a real authenticity to the characters in the movie.  This stayed atop my “best of the year” list all the way into December, when I finally saw the last two films on my list. I’ve watched it multiple times and would watch it many more. If you took delight in a video of a Nazi getting punched a few weeks back, you should definitely watch this movie. And if you didn’t, well, you should still watch this movie. 
2. Moonlight (Theaters/Digital Purchase) Barry Jenkins (director/co-writer) and Tarell Alvin McCraney (co-writer) have created a moving, timeless piece of visual poetry in this film that captures three significant chapters in the life of a young man named Chiron. When we first meet him, he’s maybe six or seven years old and people call him “Little.” He hides out in an abandoned house to escape from neighborhood bullies, and is discovered by Juan (Mahershala Ali), a local drug dealer with a complicated moral compass. Juan and his wife Teresa (Janelle Monae) become de facto surrogate parents to Little, whose mom (Naomie Harris) works late and brings random men home and sells their belongings off piece by piece to afford the drugs she craves.  In the second chapter, Little is now “Chiron,” in high school and life hasn’t gotten easier. He’s still quiet, still has a troubled relationship with his mom, and feels pretty alone in his peer group with the exception of his friend Kevin. He and Kevin share an unexpected but life-changing evening on the beach that is intimate and believable and raw. The next day at school, however, another life-changing exchange takes place between the two young men and this one is even more visceral in its immediate and long lasting impact on Chiron’s future. Finally, we see him as “Black,” a little older and transformed from the skinny vulnerable teen into a muscular, physically intimidating presence. He’s clearly fighting against his past by embracing everything he can to seem larger than life and untouchable, in both his physical appearance and his lifestyle. He gets a phone call one night that reconnects him with a part of his past he could never quite shake. I won’t spoil what happens next, but the final twenty minutes of this movie are a perfect encapsulation of long-suppressed feelings finally forcing their way out into the open. It’s such a personal story, but the specifics make it so relatable that it feels universal in its specificity.  The performances in this movie are wonderful, the cinematography is gorgeous, the score is amazing--I could go on for years. To me, this movie showed a story I’ve never seen on screen before, from a perspective that’s completely underrepresented in pop culture. It never feels manipulative or stereotypical or preachy--just real and achingly human. Some moments in this movie have replayed themselves over and over in my mind hundreds of times, and even having seen it twice in the theater I can’t wait to study every frame of it on multiple viewings once it’s available on Blu-Ray. I want it to seep into my bones the way it seeped into my heart. 1. La La Land (Theaters) “This is the kind of movie that just fills your heart up,” I texted a friend the second I exited the theater after seeing La La Land the first of three times (and counting). And every time I watch it, my heart overflows a little more. Here’s a film that will resonate differently depending on your frame of mind when you watch it, the same way Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind can feel funny or sweet or tragic or dark or romantic depending on your current relationship status.  At first glance, Damien Chazelle may seem to be showing off in his follow up to Whiplash, tapping into an easy sentimentality that short circuits our center of reason by throwing in references to Singin’ in the Rain, Casablanca, West Side Story, and an LA that probably only ever existed in the imaginations of the people who never actually visited the City of Stars but fell in love with its many portrayals on the silver screen. And yes, Hollywood does love stories about itself and yes, the novelty of an original movie musical does scream “anachronistic film school prodigy.” So I get the skepticism, I truly do. I can’t promise this movie will live up to the hype of a record-tying number of Oscar nominations for you, but I can tell you that it means so much more than that to me. It’s not just another charming but forgettable throwback (I’m looking at you, The Artist).  In case you haven’t yet experienced this movie, a quick breakdown: Sebastian and Mia, portrayed by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, are both in LA chasing their dreams of artistic success. He’s a jazz pianist; she’s an actress. Neither has quite made it, and “making it” to them means doing something authentic on their own terms which makes success even more elusive. Compromise may be part of real life but neither of them is quite ready to give up the fantasy yet. Their relationship starts off adversarial, then tentative, then before you know it they’re literally floating into space so carried away are they with love and visions of a future together. The stages of their lives and the story are divided up by seasons, and sure as summer follows spring, you can’t get through the year without the fall. Fall in this movie has a double meaning, and the cute flirty interludes give way to frustrated sighs and changing priorities. Other seasons follow, which I will not spoil, but I will say that the final five or ten minutes of this movie could stand on their own and still be my favorite film of 2016. People compared Whiplash to The Red Shoes, and I would make the same comparison to this film although for different reasons. The ballet sequence of The Red Shoes and the final sequence of La La Land share an artistic splendor the can induce wonder and catharsis in equal measure. I’m prone to quoting Charles Bukowski, so I’m going to close by quoting him again. I think the following poems explain the core of this film, and why it resonates so much with me: “the area dividing the brain and the soul is affected in many ways by experience – some lose all mind and become soul: insane. some lose all soul and become mind: intellectual. some lose both and become: accepted.” --You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense “if it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. if you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. if you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. there is no other way. and there never was.” --So You Want To Be a Writer?
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UM Interview: Mike Ruby
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Canadian pop artist Mike Ruby is just getting started. The toronto native moved to New York to attend school and study music, where he began  playing sax with Brooklyn based synth-pop band St. Lucia. This experience led Mike to pursue music as a solo artist, resulting in the release of his debut single “Close” last year which as over 1 million streams on streaming platforms and broke top 40 radio in Canada and on the Billboard Charts. On June 26th, 2020, Mike will be releasing his debut EP ‘You Wrote These Songs’.
Amandah Opoku sat down with Mike to discuss his debut EP ‘You Wrote These Songs’. Check out the interview below!
Amandah Opoku: Mike, thank you for doing this interview today! Before we kick off please tell our readers about yourself and one new artist you've discovered in the last month. Mike Ruby: Thanks for having me. My name is actually Mike Ruby, I was born in Toronto and started my music career as a jazz saxophonist living in NY. I made a U-turn into the singer songwriter lane after playing with some pop bands in New York, spent some time in LA and Nashville writing songs, and am now releasing my first album/EP on June 26th as a pop artist. That’s me in a nutshell. Hmm new artist – she’s really not too new but she is new to me. Fletcher. Her new song “Bitter” is so well written, I heard it for the first time and was a fan. 
AO: What inspired you to pursue a career as an artist? And what drew you to create Pop music? MR: I was always a musician, but I wasn’t moving people with my own words, and I guess I just needed that fulfillment in my life, so picked up a guitar and started writing songs. Being a sideman and a front man are two totally different experiences and connecting with my fans now means everything to me. As a sideman, I played and opened for some pretty big pop acts and fell in love with that type of music and culture.  
AO: In college you played saxophone with synth-band St. Lucia, what did you learn from your experience with your band? Do you think your time playing with the band has directly influenced the music you create? MR: I learned a ton from the front man of that band, Jean. His energy on stage is unparalleled, and every song is so tightly rehearsed, so on stage the band can take it to the next level and interact with the crowd. It has 100% indirectly influenced my music. Jean and I write very differently, and of course come from very different places, but I think he’s one of the most brilliant writers I’ve come across and am honored to have been a part of his project. 
AO: Would you say there are any artists or songwriters that have inspired the music you create and the way you write? MR: I wish I could say one artist, but I really can’t. It’s been a mix of my favorite artists that have their own strengths that find their way into my music subconsciously. For example, I love the way Lauv writes melodies. I love the inflections Julia Michaels and Jessie Reyez put into their songs. The lyrical depth of early John Mayer records and the subtle messages Frank Ocean has in his songs, and not so subtle pockets that Jon Bellion has in his music. Even dating back to the jazz musicians I used to listen to like John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Joshua Redman and Brad Mehldau. They all play a role. 
AO: You'll be releasing your debut EP, You Wrote These Songs on June 26th. What was the writing and recording process like for the record? MR: These were all songs I couldn’t give away as a writer – I had to sing them for myself, so they hold a lot of meaning to me. I got to work with some incredible producers on this record in Toronto, Vancouver and Los Angeles including Ryan Stewart (Carly Rae Jepson) Jamey Heath (Andy Grammer) Joel Stouffer and Ben Nudds. They’re great guys and incredibly talented musical minds, so they made the recording process easy. We had a great time making these songs and hope you have some fun listening to them.
AO: When you began working on You Wrote These Songs, did you have any idea/plan of what type of record you wanted to make? MR: Not. At. All.  I wasn’t even writing for a record, EP or anything to be honest. I was writing songs for other artists, one offs here and there, and before I knew it had written almost a thousand songs in three years between writing songs daily myself and doing lots of cowrites. At a certain point, I had a handful of songs that were written about very important people in my life that I couldn’t let go of, and that’s when the EP/record idea hit me. I needed to say these things out loud, so naturally the title You Wrote These Songs made a lot of sense. 
AO: Thinking about the songs on your EP from a lyrical standpoint, what is your favorite lyric you wrote and why? MR: That’s a tough one to answer. Just took a moment to myself to think about it and there are actually three that come to mind, all with extremely different meanings. One, the heaviest, is from a song I wrote about my dad who passed away when I was in high school. The lyric is “And I get pissed cuz I’ll have kids one day and I know you’ll miss it all. Can I be angry even though it’s not your fault.” It’s blunt and to the point, and the truth in it speaks volumes. Another is in the last song on the record called “The Story Never Ends” and that lyric is “I don’t know when you became my friend, when pencil changed to pen, when every cut began to sting” talking about being in a relationship with someone and then all of a sudden feeling their pain like it’s your own. The last I’d say is from the feature track “Don’t Want You Back (wtf).”  It’s the lyric I love singing the most from the whole record. The song sounds super sweet and melodic, and at first the lyrics are too, but by the end of the first chorus you know what’s up. “What the f%^# is that, I don’t want you back” is the line. It’s about an ex that didn’t deserve you, and we’ve all been there.
AO: “Close” was your debut single which will be included on your upcoming EP. Did the success of the song inform your sound and what you've created on the EP? MR: All the songs were written a year ago, so the sound had already been formed. I’m definitely happy “Close” was the first single though – once you hear that one, you get a good sense for how the record will sound. 
AO: On the EP, what song do you think truly captures the essence, theme and/or message that you want people to take away from the record? MR: I’d have to say the feature track to the record, “Don’t Want You Back (wtf)” because it’s about realizing your self-worth and moving on. The whole EP is a journey about moving forward.
AO: I recently had a chance to listen to the record and “Not Your Fault” is one of my favorites. It's very personal and deep. Can you take me through what the writing and recording process was like for the track? MR: Thank you so much. It’s definitely the most personal on the EP. I co-wrote it with Jamey Heath at his studio in LA. To be honest, a few days before I was in his studio co-writing a pop song for another artist’s project as a writer. It was a great song but nothing too deep. When I went into the studio to work on my own record with Jamey, he said “let’s write something deep today. What’s your muse?” I mentioned a few things like some ex relationships, moving city to city, etc. and he said “OK” with a high pitched voice like yeah we could go there but what else you got? Haha. I told him about my dad, and he said “Yep, we’re writing that.” He started playing voicings on the piano and after we got the chord progression, I started pouring out the words and to be honest trying to hold in the tears. It was a very traumatic experience for me in high school with a lot of unresolved emotions that I’ve since dealt with, so writing about it was difficult and rewarding at the same time. I spent a lot of time refining the lyrics after the session to the point where I finally felt everything was said in the way I wanted, then I went back in for a couple more sessions to record the vocals. “Not Your Fault” is the song on the back of the record that means the most to me, and I think I’m most proud of this one for its vulnerability. 
AO: Going into the release of your debut EP, You Wrote These Songs, what do you want people to take away from the record? MR: I want each of these songs to be about someone in your life. The “You” in the EP title can be about anyone – whoever comes to mind when you listen to each song is meant to be about that person. 
AO: I know we're sitting in an interesting time, given what is going on in the world right now. Were you hesitant to release the EP now? Or even contemplate pushing the release date back? MR: I wasn’t due to Covid-19. It’s such a terrible unfortunate tragedy and pandemic, and no I can’t tour, but I think people are still listening to music online and checking out music videos, so I’ve always been of the mindset to keep pushing forwards. After the video of George Floyd came out though, that’s a whole other story. I was outraged and so hurt. I stopped posting about my project and started posting about equality, human rights, and racism. Today marks 10 days since I saw it, and I have not posted about my own project since, and although I will start to as the EP is coming out soon, I will continue to donate, inform myself and others, and be a part of this movement. We are in the middle of making history for the better right now, and we’re starting to take baby steps in the right direction. We need to continue pushing forwards to see equality and justice and I don’t intend to stop until we do. 
AO: Mike, thank you for sitting down with me! Before we close this interview, is there anything you want to say to your fans and our readers? MR: Thank you for reading! I feel truly blessed to have the best fans out there, and I’m always open to talking to all of you guys about anything. You can find me on all socials @mikerubymusic. I have lots of new music videos and news coming your way, so make sure to follow me on Spotify or your social media of choice. Hope to see you soon at a show after Covid-19 settles down!
Connect with Mike on the following websites: www.mikeruby.com www.twitter.com/mikerubymusic www.facebook.com/mikerubymusic www.instagram.com/mikerubymusic https://www.youtube.com/user/mikerubymusic
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