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#might as well tag this up wHY DOES THIS COMMUNITY NEED SO MANY TAGS
vellichorom · 8 months
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ONE, except...
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suzukiblu · 5 months
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Five headcanons from the obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU for Plot Bunny, which may or may not all make it into the actual fic itself. Headcanons are slightly leaned towards Kon’s powers because Plot Bunny was specifically interested in my headcanons for those in this AU, but also including Tim being a useless bisexual.
Kon brags constantly about the things his TTK does that are either Superman-esque abilities or that he thinks are either impressive or flashy enough to pass for impressive. He does not think to brag about things like “technically I have a 360-degree field of perception”, because he’s like “well it only works if nothing’s flying or hovering and it’s not like vision, so it’s just whatever” as opposed to being like “most things/people cannot fly or hover and it also accounts for things like people hiding behind cover, so actually it’s real fucking useful, isn’t it”. Frequently he just doesn’t think to mention little utility-specific uses of his powers at all, in fact. No, this acid isn’t touching him, he can be acidproof if he wants. No, he can’t actually choke on anything. Yeah, he can set bones and relocate dislocations on himself and others without needing an X-ray or an MRI involved. Sure, he could just stop somebody’s heart, but why would he?? 
Tim has gotten out of the habit of a lot of his hobbies in favor of Robin-ing. Robbies. He has Robbies now, not hobbies. It’s not like he never picks up a camera or a skateboard or a video game anymore, just . . . well . . . like, not never, that’s all. He’s pretty sure he touched his skateboard last week? When he . . . moved it to the other corner while he was cleaning his room . . . uh. Well. Still counts, right?? 
Kon has much better fine motor control over his TTK than he usually bothers to demonstrate in the field because he actually spends a lot of his time bored and understimulated in a lab environment, so he just fucks around with it to entertain himself. For him, it’s an extension of his sense of touch, which makes him incredibly tactile as a person. But he also thinks it might be a little weird how tactile he is compared to other people, so he is much likelier to be petting the soft silky thing with his TTK than his actual, oh, I don’t know, hands? Because people don’t even notice when it’s his TTK, obviously, but they definitely notice when he's doing it with his hands. He actually does a lot of little things with his TTK that people don’t usually pick up on, because it’s just things like adjusting crooked frames and plucking lint off people’s clothes and fixing their hair or tucking their shirt tags into their collars and picking inconvenient locks, and if Tim knew Kon could do that kind of thing so subtly and easily, he would immediately lose his ever-loving mind about it. And also teach him how to pick pockets and crack safes, probably. Kon, obliviously, does not realize just how fucking useful those little things could actually be in hero-ing, because to him they're just normal little tricks he can just do whenever, not anything special or impressive. And like, why would he pick the lock when he could just punch the door down? Superman would punch the door down, right? And punching the door down looks cooler! So obviously he's gonna do that! 
Tim accidentally developed his initial crush on Kon via constant exposure through stupid teen magazine posters. He will swear on his life it started when they first met and fought supervillains together, but no, it was definitely that Kon was hot in those stupid cheesy posters that Tim kept running into while he did research on the new kid in the superhero community. Also he read so many of those lame tabloid interviews. Just . . . so, so many. Ugh. And he actually does keep up on Kon's Twitter and probably his Insta too. 
Kon absolutely accidentally holds himself back from his full potential as a superhero without really realizing it because he thinks “what would Superman do?” while mostly knowing Superman through hearsay, information uploads from biased sources, and what few facets of his personality Clark is actually willing to show him. So he has a very skewed image of him, obviously, and is trying to grow up and be a person Clark isn't and no one really could be. But Kon identifies himself as Superboy because he doesn’t have anything else he knows how to be, and Superboy came from Superman, so he concentrates less on certain aspects of his powers and more on the Kryptonian-imitating ones. Again: he could just unlock the door, but Superman would punch it, right? Right??
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anystalker707 · 1 year
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Giving him silent treatment
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender neutral] Reader Words: ~ 1 400 Summary: You end up giving Sanji a silence treatment after the latest events. Tags: Sanji is very boyfriend / But also very dramatic / Just a little lack of communication
Requested by anon
A/N: i feel. nervous about this. ooc, maybe?
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• Sanji will notice it right away that you're a little different with him, not glancing at him whenever he is around nor making a comment about how his good dish tastes
• You even decide to go with Usopp, Luffy, Robin, Franky and Zoro when you stop at this new island instead of with Chopper, Nami and Sanji like the usual (Brook had stayed back to watch the ship
• You’re there watching Luffy get chased by a local animal while Franky and Usopp uselessly try to help him out—now you understand the reason they never get anything done—when you comment something about just helping them out at once
• At first, Zoro just hums in agreement as he was there along with Robin and you watching the three fools, but then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at you. "What are you doing here? Where is the shitty cook?"
• Your face twisted in a way Zoro decided not to ask any further
• You’re back at the ship and Sanji will ask where you were, met with no answer once again
• Maybe you're distracted? Busy with something else? So he will let you be for a while and later come by, more of testing the waters, asking you about what you were talking about with Robin or if stupid Marimo bothered you too much
• He will feel completely lost with you not answering and absolutely reduced to a shrimp size once you glare at him in a quiet acknowledgement of his presence because he needs to know you're aware of him and just not answering on purpose, otherwise he'd just be convinced you're distracted again
• Absolutely devastated. Will enter in collapse mode and go over every single little thing that he did because he can't handle (y/n)—his beloved (y/n)—stopping loving him under any circumstances, even more for something he may have done without conscience. He won't be able to live a single day without you giving him attention, he might as well die if you're never going to talk with him again—his mind does escalate that quickly
• Will be found obsession cooking for the next couple of hours because cooking helps him think and Luffy doesn't see any problem with it
• Later, he comes to you with your favorite dish and that lost puppy face when you're sitting at a table on Sunny's deck
• ...It’s hard to resist to it, but it's for the best, so you just send him a look before returning your attention to the sea and wait until he walks away so you can eat the dish he leaves on the table
• Okay, Sanji will give you a while longer, still trying to make up with you until the end of the day, but the fact he doesn't get any good night kiss nor good morning hug starts to drive him crazy
• Baby boy will fucking cry. He cries the same way he did when you were captured by Crocodile and then again by Enel, with this angst heavy in his chest with the sensation he will never again have you cuddling him to sleep or kiss your cheek when you sit on his lap or even receive an adoring look from you because he's just that insecure with finally getting a partner after many failed attempts
"(Y/n)?" You looked to the side to see Nami standing there; you were sitting at the same place as the previous day, messing with a book you fixed on the last island. She furrowed her eyebrows a little, scratching the back of her head. "Is everything alright?"
"...I would say so, kind of, why?"
"Well, you and Sanji seem a little... off, y'know." Nami pulled the other chair back to have a seat. "You weren't buying spices with him yesterday, he seemed pretty lost. Also, he is crying."
"He's what?" Your eyes widened at how she'd dropped the bomb with such casualty and no more explanation.
Nami nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Like, go talk with him! That's what I'm saying."
You cringed a little, sighing as you closed your book and leaned a little forward on the chair. Maybe giving him silent treatment wasn't the best way to deal with it in long-term; not only Nami had to approach the situation, but Sanji was fucking crying, also. Not that you weren't used to his dramatic behavior, but it was true it'd been a while since he last showed up and it usually wasn't a good sign if he was stuck in the galley like that.
"Take care." You slid your book to Nami with a sigh before you stood up and moved to go find Sanji.
The ingredients for whatever other dish Sanji was preparing received all the feelings he had supressed, being chopped quickly and with more force than needed while Sanji cried alone in the galley. You sighed at the sight, rolling your eyes half-heartedly before you closed the door behind yourself and approached him. Sanji looked over his shoulder and sniffled before he cried more.
"Hey, San, I—"
"I'm so sorry, my love, I don't know what I did, so maybe I'm not so worthy of your love anymore and..." He continued rambling without stopping chopping the vegetables.
You stood there for a moment, observing the mess he was in—you could ruin him just like that? Not like you wouldn't be desolated if you thought he happened to stop liking you, but knowing someone felt this way about you was quite different.
"Stop!" You grabbed him by the lapel of his blazer so he would finally stop what he was doing. "I never stopped loving you or anything, stop saying shit!"
Sanji blinked a couple of times and sniffled, looking at you. "Then what happened, mon amour? Every second without you feels like endless torture, I—"
"Sanji." You sighed, loosening your grip and playing a little with the fabric before you let your hands fall, fumbling with your thumbs at the lack of what to do under his confused gaze. "It's just that... You had..." Hell, it felt pathetic to say it out loud, to explain how your thoughts had twisted everything. "You promised me you would go with me to a clothing store as soon as we reached a new island, then you started making plans and didn't mention it. I thought you'd just not mention it to the others, but then asked Chopper and Nami to tag along as usual, and..." You paused to take a breath, swallowing dryly as your eyes followed along the buttons of his blazer. It would be shit if your voice started cracking and failing and got teary. "I got angry and frustrated, so I left because I didn't want to be rude to you because— because what if you didn't like me and everything I say doesn't matter? But then, what if you were just distracted and never noticed we had agreed on this little date thing? I didn't want to talk with you after that because what if I said the wrong thing? Did something I shouldn't just because I was angry and impulsive? I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to..." You sighed, shifting your weight, and motioned to him.
At first, Sanji didn’t know what to say, standing there with wide eyes. "No!" He mumbled, wrapping his arms around you to hug you close. "I didn't mean to make you feel like this! Didn't I tell you, my love?"
"Tell me what?"
Sanji blinked slowly as he looked at you then frowned, letting his gaze fall to the ground at the same moment his cheeks gained a red color—he didn’t really hug you anymore, more of just holding onto your sides with his hands balled into fists around your shirt. "I—I could swear I had told you to, um, wait until we got to a nicer island than the last one... There were many things to take care of, I could swear I had told you..." His eyes filled with tears again, and you hummed understandingly, wrapping your hands around his shoulders to hug him close and press a kiss to his head. "I—I didn’t want to m—make you feel that way—"
"Oh, no," you sighed as you cleaned his face, mentally cursing yourself. "No, c'mon, no need to sacrifice yourself at this, pretty boy, it happens!"
"But—"
The way you glared at him had Sanji falling quiet with a pout, making you grin before you pecked his lips in return.
.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.
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mint-yooxgi · 5 months
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Why you should tag authors in your fic rec posts
Hello again. It's me. Honestly, I've felt this way for years, but I've never wanted to say anything until now, but honestly, I think it's time someone does. Every author is different, I recognize that, but with the uprise in reposters and plagiarism in the writing community on Tumblr, I feel like this post is important to make.
Keep in mind this is vastly a post regarding my own opinions of this matter, but if you are an author, or even a reader that agrees with any of the points here, feel free to share this to spread awareness.
So, without further ado, here are a variety of reasons you should tag and properly credit authors on your fic rec posts.
Believe it or not, fic recs are actually a very great source of feedback. When we're tagged when someone recs our fic, we get told, 'hey, this person likes our writing enough to tell other people about it, and share it with others who might like it as well!'. Without that tag, we have NO IDEA that you liked it enough to share it with others. Instead, our fic just gets reduced to the name or title we've labelled it as, and not the writer - the person, the human - who spent hours, days, weeks, months, or sometimes even years writing said piece that is linked to a recommended post. Supporting authors is so important, especially if you want them to continue writing!
That being said, and I don't know how many others will agree with me on this point, but I've always personally felt that people that don't tag authors on fic rec posts are almost trying to take credit for those particular stories. By not putting the author, it gives the allusion that the person making the post could have been the author of said story. Like, you can spare enough time and energy to link the post, but not hit a little @ key which takes about a third of the amount of time to do as it does to link the post? Given the amount of reposters and plagiarizers that are also on the rise lately on Tumblr, it just never sat right with me. The author put in the time and effort to create that story you're recommending. The least you could do is credit them with a proper tag.
Additionally, I just feel like it's common curtesy. Without a proper tag, to me, you're saying that the finished product is more important than the person behind said product who worked hard to create such a work for you to enjoy. If you can spend the time to make your fic rec post 'look nice', you can spend the two extra seconds it takes to tag the author. It shows you respect the person behind the writing as much as the writing itself. At least, to me.
Not tagging the author is essentially the same to me as if you never made the post in the first place. We have no idea about it unless we're lucky enough for it to pop up on our dash and we recognize our own piece of writing. I can't speak for others, but it literally makes my day when I see someone has tagged me in a fic rec post! Like, you cared enough to share my stories! You cared enough to tell people about me. It's one of the biggest compliments you can possibly give someone.
I know there are probably a plethora of other reasons as to why you should credit authors on fic rec lists and the like, but I've said the main points I want to here. If any other authors want to add any more reasons as to why you should tag them on fic rec posts, then by all means! Please, be my guest!
This post isn't meant to be a debate. I just felt it needed to be said, again, due to the rise in reposting and plagiarism that's been going around Tumblr recently, and also since it's just something I've always believed in.
Stories are meant to be shared. It's just nice knowing that our stories are being shared.
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cafedanslanuit · 1 year
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☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚ HOW THEY SEE ROMANCE BASED ON THEIR MOON, VENUS & MARS SIGNS
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isagi, bachira, kunigami ☼ chigiri, reo, nagi ☼ rin, sae oliver
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why those signs? well, you see, those three are the most relevant in our charts when it comes to romance. our moon sign shows how we deal with emotions, how we express them and our emotional needs. our venus sign tells us how we approach romantic relationships and what brings us pleasure. and lastly, our mars sign reveals our truest desires, our instincts, and sexuality.
tags/warnings: gn reader + no pronouns, suggestive
note: i based my calculations on the birthdays shown on the egoist bible since they sometimes differ on different websites :) gOD im a sae whore but oliver's chart makes me wanna wreck him sgsksbs
masterlist
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RIN — libra moon + scorpio venus + virgo mars
Rin, as a romantic partner, is someone you can always count on. If he loves you, he will take care of you while remaining loyal and committed to your relationship. He’s very practical, so he needs his relationship to be able to work like that as well. Doesn’t do well with long-distance relationships since he needs physical presence and reliability when he’s sharing his life with someone. For him, sex is a physical expression of love, and needs it to reassure himself. He relies on his sexuality to feel loved and connected to you, which means he can’t go on without you for much time. He’s not very communicative, even if he can be very concerned about your emotions. Doesn’t take relationships lightly, and neither does he let go without being sure he did as much as he could to make it work. He’s really attracted to people that express loyalty paired with a little fragility. If he’s really into you, he’s willing to concede in order for the relationship to work. He likes relationships where he feels safe and reinforced.
SAE — pisces moon + scorpio venus + virgo mars
While Sae may have fun here and there, it takes someone special for him to consider a serious relationship. Sex is also an important part of him because even if he values his solitude, he needs physical proof of commitment. He takes his time, rejoicing in the feelings rather than achieving pleasure and calling it a day. He sees sex as a complex layer of desire, love and control; and he has the ability to feel confident in any level of control he wants. He may consider long-distance relationships and give them a try, only to quickly figure out he needs you close. He can easily become jealous and it can translate into either moodiness or the need to be alone for a quick minute. He’s not the best at communicating his feelings and, sometimes, he may expect you to understand them as they come. He grows to really care about you as a partner, especially if you can provide reliability and steadiness to his life and is really good at picking up what you’re feeling. He tends to burn out emotionally with ease, so a relationship with constant fights will tire him out.
OLIVER — capricorn moon + leo venus + libra mars
Oliver loves to feel useful when he’s in a relationship, so he will always be looking out for ways to help you. When in love, he’s spontaneous and always open to new experiences. He’s very independent and tends to get straight to the point when it comes to saying what he needs. Very attracted to people with whom he can talk about everything and anything. He has the tendency to separate sex from feelings, even if he can be quite passionate and daring. He thrives on the idea of perfect love and might lose himself with many superficial lovers as he looks for this perfect and sometimes, unrealistic, ideal. This, however, only delays him from meeting the one. He’s very flirtatious and naturally attractive, and you just know you’re gonna have a fun time with him. For him, the perfect relationship is one where he can extend the thrill of courtship for the longest time possible while also basking in a sense of safety and security. He tends to keep his strong emotions under check and is very competent, but he will not wear his heart on his sleeve, rather waiting for the perfect person so he can finally let loose.
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I've asked myself many times over the course of three years about how would I react to information that comes to contradict a specific image I have about people. And the answer would differ, more or less, depending on a myriad of factors, such as my mental wellbeing, my attitude toward the fandom, the group, the members, etc. The truth is, I only knew how I would respond the moment it happens and I was pleasantly surprised in a way. I see it as a sign that I'm doing better or at least I'm on the path of doing better.
These are things that I didn't want to allow to come to surface in the way I used to handle the BTM blog. Perhaps because the point was to create a platform in which I could offer the rational, researched perspective which I considered to be the correct one. I'm not retracting any of that. I still believe that it is possible to offer a more complex perspective if I can back it up with knowledge from various fields, but it was also one of my defense mechanisms.
Without expanding on the personal reasons, it has become very easy for me to separate my rational and emotional side. So much, that even when I should be staying in the moment and let my emotions take space, I can't really do it, I need to come up with a rational explanation so it can make sense. I then applied this to BTS as well. I couldn't just say I like this group when someone would ask, I would have to tell them about all the studies I read and how my fascination is mostly intelectual, when in truth it was both. I used to talk about jikook only in the context of analysis, be it GCF through semiotics or various types of interpretations when it came to their performances or fandom reception in terms of their dynamics. It had to be in the context of rational fascination and curiosity because I was merely trying to justify myself on why I care that much about two strangers that I look at on my phone. Again, my intellectual curiosity is real, but that has always been only one side if the coin, but it was one that I pushed.
It's about shame actually. I can't actually accept that I have such an interest. It doesn't fit with the idea I have of myself. And sometimes I don't like it because it makes me question my intellect, my critical thinking. How can I be so good academically and at the same time I fear that I've fallen into a fandom trap? I'm smart, right? Right?
I'm sure a lot of people have dealt with or ar going through this process of cognitive dissonance. How does one deal with the mere idea that something they believe in based on their understanding of the world, their ability of decoding (not in a conspiracy sense, but in a Saussurean way) can turn out to be wrong? We see something that resembles a specific behavior that we are surrounded with our entire lives, sometimes we ourselves engage with, but we've identified it wrong on others? Of course, it's through the visual medium, one that is edited. It's a puzzle with large chunks missing, but we're getting a general idea of it. But we can be wrong. So how do we deal with that? Well, I don't have a correct answer.
Me in 2020/2021 would have been more affected because my mental health was not good. I was functionally depressed and I clinged so much onto BTS, Jikook and the small community that I found myself in at that time, that I would have felt a lot more torn than I am now.
A couple of years later and having to actually go through a situation in which my understanding of people's relationship might not be accurate, I realized I'm fine. And I think it's because it made me really register just now that I finally learned how to have fun with it. It took me three years. By having fun, I mean genuinely being able to simply enjoy the little things. I'm still on the path of not being ashamed for liking kpop or spending time talking about the dynamic/relationship of two people.
What prompted this post was reading what is currently being written in the jikook tag. Yes, I had this big introductory chunk that perhaps people won't bother reading, but I'm doing it for myself. If I can't be honest while writing stuff into the void for strangers to read, then what is the point?
I get frustrated very easily. I like debates and contradictory points of view, but not always. And that's because I like to be right. Almost all the time. So when I see something that I believe it lacks logic or I find it absurd, then my fingers are itching. I don't comment or DM people, I can control myself. I'd rather get out of the app and do something else.
What I want to say is I was surprised at how much fanfiction is being written. More that usual. Shipping contains a big deal of fanfiction by its nature. Gestures and events taking place at different times are interpreted and having information added that fills the gaps. People do that because they have to make sense of what they see.
They like to make relationship timelines. They speculate on first kisses and first sexual experiences. That's their imagination. None of us has any way of knowing. The element of fiction is heighted when people feel like they are losing control of the narrative. When they are unsure of what they are seeing. Which is what usually happens in the shipping community on a yearly basis. Anons flooding the bloggers' inboxes because they need confirmation or they didn't get any ship content in a month or two which means something is wrong.
There's this understanding that the shipper/supporter is delusional while the one who stops shipping is the rational one. From what I've observed throughout time and mostly now, that is a false distinction. The so-called rational fan makes use of fiction just as the shipper. The difference is in purpose. One talks about why the supposed romantic relationship is real and the other tries to refute that. But both categories seem to need fiction in order to build their arguments. That is because none of them have access to someone's private life and relationship, so the gaps need to be filled with speculation. There is no right or wrong version here, despite how much the idea is being pushed. And me writing about this won't make a difference. It's simply how the fandom works. The one who position themselves on the side of anti-delulu will always be seen as the less crazy one. The similarities will fade for the collective consciousness of the fandom.
I think it's difficult for a lot of people, regardless on which side they find themselves on, to accept that the option of simply not knowing is enough as well. Or knowing, but without getting anal about it. But it's hard and they write posts after posts, anons are sending asks over asks because there has to be a firm answer. Only a few allow themselves to be in between lines.
I'll bring back something that I always used to say. Shipping and involvement in the fandom is a lot more about us and less about the people we're talking about. It's about fullfiling some needs, of needing a community, of focusing on the idea of love. Those things can still be done in a way that still makes the experience enjoyable. But not everyone can and I'm not blaming it.
There's a way to just like how people behave with each other and imagine things without adding so much weight to it. Regardless of the true nature. It's our imagination, there's no need for a moral inquisition to tell anyone how to think or that they should stop thinking a certain way. Touching some grass is a cliche and an expression I ended up hating, but I do believe that being connected to discourse on a daily basis can really alter our sense of reality and what we consider to be real issues. We really should pay more attention to that and take some distance if necessary.
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dropthedemiurge · 4 months
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Got prompted by @pinkkop but also partially this might end up as the controversial Thai BL post because the range of characters I'd defend with the passion is very wide for me:D
8 BL BOYS I WILL THROW HANDS FOR
Uea (Bed Friend)
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This show isn't jokingly called 'A Tale of 1000 Traumas' for no reason, I mean – there is only so much one young adult can go through, and Uea has been through... well, almost everything. Tagging hurt/comfort fics on AO3 will result into red triggers all around. What fascinates me in this character is his resilience, too. He managed to go through everything with the sheer will power and knowing his own worth, what he deserves and what he does not. I am so glad the show made an active choice to send him to therapy and give him a considerate and loving boyfriend! He really needs both.
Sky (Love in the Air)
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Again, no surprise that everyone would want to protect Sky. The acting was also chef's kiss in this show, I know I shouldn't be but I absolutely enjoyed seeing Sky getting triggered and sent to the red-lit room in his mind because this was pure cinematography, but irl I would just hug Sky with consent and never let him go. And kick Gun until he never rises up again too. I think Rain should've been given full freedom to avenge for his best friend. But this is also why I'm writing all these skyrain fics – because they are safe space for each other and I want to keep seeing it.
Rain (Love in the Air)
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Ehem, like I said– the show has not declared it loudly but he's one of the most ADHD characters in Thai BLs if I ever saw one. He does not deserve to be mocked for his struggles and airheadness. I wish we saw more of him playing into his strengths beside taming a dom, instead of being infantilized by the show sometimes. Don't ask me to dive into full analysis though, I only could watch the PayuRain half of the show once so I'm going off vibes I remember, but I absolutely adore Rain and love reading fics that focus on his ADHD headcanon and how others understand and help him. And also those platonic BDSM tendencies he has with his best friend Sky.
Kawi (Be My Favorite)
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For this guy, I would not fight the show or narration because they treated both characters and viewers with care, gentleness, wise teaching and love (Max is a harsh brat but that's his personality). I would actually fight the fandom: from people who hate-watched this show and refused to acknowledge it was amazingly done further than 'i might've liked it but ew screw this actor and novel the show was inspired by amiright don't judge me for liking it jk lol' to some individuals who missed the beautifully developed and portrayed close bond (aspec on at that, I'll stay firm) that spread across >10 years and different timelines and reduced Kawi to immature whiny weirdo who's scared to fuck Pisaeng ten times a day instead of one, idk. This show is a gem with many life-lessons and Kawi has one of the strongest and fascinating character development in Thai BLs that I've seen. Hands are being thrown.
Boston (Only Friends)
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The creators of the show said the series didn't have any intentional message, but considering how many long discussions and poured out frustrations we had with some people, Only Friends definitely did Boston wrong. So what if he's a proud slut, should the show punish him for it while praising 'righteous' characters high on their horses? I don't think so. My guy was constantly filmed illegally and threatened by his hookups and friends, he's very hesitant about falling in love but he tried his best with clearly spoken offers, poly views and limits. I also see Boston kinda neurodivergent and/or demiromantic based on many lines he said about himself and his own view of people and relationships in the series. Nick might not be fully compatible with him, and I would throw hands for both of them, but if those two would communicate better, there would be no need for the OOC "twist" at the end. Their story could be beautiful, sad and realistic, instead Boston being kicked down in the street dirt by everyone after opening up about his heart and fears made me angry.
Akk (The Eclipse)
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These descriptions just keep getting longer and longer? Oops... I don't think I need to explain the desire to protect Akk – this guy has not stopped crying since a mischievous and passionate newbie managed to break through his 100m thick wall of composure, pokerface and sheer will to survive. And also through all the manipulation Akk faced from the people he looked up to. Akk and everything that he went through managed to rip my heart out, and I'm not kidding. If you're repressed, oppressed and/or struggling with money, desire to make your parents proud and can't help but feel 'disapproved' feelings for someone – meet Akk, he's very relatable. I'd protect him and you too.
Thua (The Eclipse)
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*clears throat* I did say this post would get controversial. I can and I will consider 90% of the people who hate Thua as lacking media literacy :D But without getting into useless fandom discussions, Thua is a poor teenager that needs love and support to be able to find himself and his own voice. He's stressed out by a harsh step-father, constantly facing homophobia and mocking in school, has suicidal intentions and the only good friend who opposed homophobic students and teachers, who showed him safe space and helped reach out to his mother, encouraged him to speak out loudly... went behind everyone's back, started dating the main "bully" of the school who threatened every queer for months and decided to support him while silencing students' and Thua's voices. At least that's what Thua experienced from his POV. Would you throw hands? Thua did, and while I may not agree with how he handled the situation, I can't hate him. He finally stood up for himself and his own, tried to change the system, and I'd fight Suppalo school for him too.
Black (Not Me)
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There's someone who doesn't need my protection at all! A second before turning into bloody merciless activist-fighter who doesn't shy away from murdering capitalists and cops, I would still want Black not to think he's better off alone. While antagonistic sexually-tense exchange of comas with his ex-best friend can count as one of the most delicious type of romance that happened in subtext not text, he still deserved to seek solace in his ex-girlfriend and (ex? they were so close, why Gram does not care about him at all when he returns? we'll never know) other activist friend's company. Also, fighting with his life to change something in how the country works and hearing 'nah, your twin is better, he knows how to fight with social media so we achieved more with him than with you' from his mentor and Black deciding that he should again ditch everyone he cares about...noo:( I need spin-off about him where he gets everything he really deserves.
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maypop-the-dragon · 3 months
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PSA: Free Software
Reading this may really save your time, privacy, and money! Reblog or share to spread awareness!
Folks often use software that’s expensive and sometimes even inferior because they don’t know there are alternatives. So to those unfamiliar: basically, free and open-source (FOSS) or "libre" software is free to use and anyone can access the original code to make their own version or work on fixing problems.
That does not mean anyone can randomly add a virus and give it to everyone—any respectable libre project has checks in place to make sure changes to the official version are good! Libre software is typically developed by communities who really care about the quality of the software as a goal in itself.
There are libre alternatives to many well-known programs that do everything an average user needs (find out more under the cut!) for free with no DRM, license keys, or subscriptions.
Using libre software when possible is an easy way to fight against and free yourself from corporate greed while actually being more convenient in many cases! If you need an app to do something, perhaps try searching online for things like:
foss [whatever it is]
libre [whatever it is]
open source [whatever it is]
Feel free to recommend more libre software in the tags, replies, comments, or whatever you freaks like to do!
Some Libre Software I Personally Enjoy…
LibreOffice
LibreOffice is an office suite, much like Microsoft Office. It includes equivalents for apps like Word, Excel, and Powerpoint, which can view and edit files created for those apps.
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I can't say I've used it much myself yet. I do not personally like using office software except when I have to for school.
OpenShot
OpenShot Video Editor is, as the name suggests, a video editing program. It has industry-standard features like splicing, layering, transitions, and greenscreen.
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I've only made one video with it so far, but I'm already very happy with it. I had already paid for a video editor (Cyberlink PowerDirector Pro), but I needed to reinstall it and I didn't remember how. Out of desperation, I searched up "FOSS video editor" and I'm so glad I did. There's no launcher, there's no promotion of other apps and asset packs—it's just a video editor with a normal installer.
GIMP
GNU Image Manipulation Program is an image editor, much like Photoshop. Originally created for Linux but also available for Windows and MacOS, it provides plenty of functionality for editing images. It is a bit unintuitive to learn at first, though.
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I've used it to create and modify images for years, including logos, really bad traceover art, and Minecraft textures. It doesn't have certain advanced tech like AI paint-in, but it has served my purposes well and it might just work for yours!
(Be sure to go to Windows > Dockable Dialogs > Colors. I have no idea why that's not enabled by default.)
Audacity
Audacity is an audio editing program. It can record, load, splice, and layer audio files and apply effects to them.
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Audacity is another program I've used for a long time. It is not designed to compose music, but it is great for podcasts, simple edits, and loading legacy MS Paint to hear cool noises.
7-Zip
7-Zip is a file manager and archive tool. It supports many archive types including ZIP, RAR, TAR, and its own format, 7Z. It can view and modify the contents of archives, encrypt and decrypt archives, and all that good stuff.
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Personally, I use 7-Zip to look inside JAR files for Minecraft reasons. I must admit that its UI is ugly.
Firefox
Firefox is an internet browser, much like Google Chrome, Microsoft Edge, or Safari. While browsers are free, many of them include tracking or other anti-consumer practices. For example, Google plans to release an update to Chromium (the base that most browsers are built from these days) that makes ad blockers less effective by removing the APIs they currently rely on.
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Aside from fighting monopolies, benefits include: support for animated themes (the one in the picture is Purple Night Theme), good ad blockers forever, an (albeit hidden) compact UI option (available on about:config), and a cute fox icon.
uBlock Origin
As far as I know, uBlock Origin is one of the best ad blockers there is.
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I was on a sketchy website with my brother, and he was using Opera GX's ad blocker. Much of the time when he clicked on anything, it would take us to a random sponsored page. I suggested that he try uBlock Origin, and with uBlock Origin, that didn't happen anymore.
Linux
Linux is a kernel, but the term is often used to refer to operating systems (much like Windows or MacOS) built on it. There are many different Linux-based operating systems (or "distros") to choose from, but apps made for Linux usually work on most popular distros. You can also use many normally Windows-only apps on Linux through compatibility layers like WINE.
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I don't have all four of these, so the images are from Wikipedia. I tried to show a variety of Linux distros made for different kinds of users.
If you want to replace your operating system, I recommend being very careful because you can end up breaking things. Many computer manufacturers don't care about supporting Linux, meaning that things may not work (Nvidia graphic cards notoriously have issues on Linux, for example).
Personally, I tried installing Pop!_OS on a laptop, and the sound output mysteriously doesn't work. I may try switching to Arch Linux, since it is extremely customizable and I might be able to experiment until I find a configuration where the audio works.
Many Linux distros offer "Live USB" functionality, which works as both a demo and an installer. You should thoroughly test your distro on a Live USB session before you actually install it to be absolutely sure that everything works. Even if it seems fine, you should probably look into dual-booting with your existing operating system, just in case you need it for some reason.
Happy computering!
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reasonsforhope · 1 year
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A wild about post appears!
Me
Hey! Call me Cactus. They/them, late twenties. I also run Direct Action for Hope, for petitions/campaigns/protests that don’t fit on a good news blog, as well as my own takes and activism.
Queer, trans, disabled, white, USian, for context. (Please let me know if I accidentally post something offensive, btw! I promise I have like. an actual ability to take that kind of feedback gracefully and work to remedy the situation)
 Some Info about This Blog
Actual good news only!
No heartwarming stories that aren’t actually news. No stories that other sources THINK are heartwarming, but that are actually super depressing and dystopic!
All websites/sources are at least preliminarily vetted by me
If I don’t think a source and/or a news story I find is accurate or reliable enough, I find a new, better source with a new, better article
Relatedly, any links that have the url web.archive go to an Internet Archive copy of a paywalled article. Usually this is the LA Times, NY Times, or Washington Post. Not a weird suspicious link, I promise!
All posts are cited and dated at the end!
All posts should be tagged, including for major/common content warnings. I can’t promise that I won’t miss any warnings, but I am definitely keeping an eye on this
Filter the tag “not news” if you only want to see the news articles/posts
Feel free to send me articles to look at or submit posts! I’ll vet these before I feature them. That said, you might be waiting A While, because despite many efforts to the contrary I am the worst about checking/answering messages. Sorry about that
Posts are generally long because I have Many Words And Endless Details Disease. Hopefully the thoroughness and the bolded highlights make up for that
A couple people have asked me if I could share their donation posts, so I wanted to pin this up: I’m sorry, but unfortunately, I will not be sharing any donation posts, because I don’t have the time or skills to vet all of them and weed out any potential scams. If you’re struggling, please check out this post, which lists communities designed for donation posts and mutual aid. You’re much more likely to get help there than on tumblr. You can also find other mutual aid resource lists and wikis here, here, and here
If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, especially around climate anxiety or climate grief, there’s a really, really thorough directory of crisis hotlines by country that you can find here. Seriously, they have so many countries I wouldn’t have expected them to list - try it, if it might help
Tip Jar
I put a lot of work and passion into this blog—and a not inconsiderable amount of time. Also, I’ve been too disabled to work much at all for most of the past year...rip. (but thankfully doing better now!) So, if you want to support my work, you can buy me a coffee!
Good News Source
You can find a comprehensive list of all the websites I’ve bookmarked as sources for this blog here!
Note about Gaza
I will be posting good news (as much good news as there can be in this sort of situation) about the ongoing genocide in Gaza, because one of the most important ways to help is to refuse to be silent. Palestinians in Gaza have asked us to please keep talking about it, that it really does help, so I’m going to listen.
And honestly, my disabilities significantly interfere with my ability to take irl action like going to protests, so using what platform I have here really is all the more important to me. (Though I am also setting a notif on my phone to remind me to call my representatives every few days, and I encourage you to do the same if feasible.)
All that said! It is completely legitimate to need a break from horrific news (a huge part of why I started this blog), and it’s also legitimate to say “I need to find out about this stuff Not from my tumblr dash.”
If news about the war/genocide (esp on social media specifically) is making you spiral and shit, then I genuinely encourage you to filter out these posts. I’m not judging. I have significant filters around what Israel/Palestine stuff I see on here myself, because I want to be very intentional about the times I do engage with it. (Which is every few days and via the Actual News.)
I’m committing to fact-checking this stuff before posting, fyi, even with reblogs.
So, tl;dr:
I will be posting about Palestine and Gaza
I will still only post good news, eg: about successful protests, aid reaching Gaza, progress toward ceasefire
I’ll only post actual, concrete news, not just Politicians Saying Words
If you need to not find about this shit from tumblr and/or my tumblr, then filter out the tags “Palestine” and “cw war”
If you don't want to see my posts on this blog about the Israel-Palestine War, then block the tags "Palestine" and "cw war"
if you need a break, then take a break
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letstalkwhump · 11 months
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Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host today. 
Here today to talk all things whumpy is the brilliant @whumpcereal!
It’s great to have you here! Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself  like your favorite color or favorite animal? 
My name is Kay, and I’m a high school teacher in my 30’s. Besides whumping unsuspecting gentlemen, my hobbies include reading a lot, belting out showtunes, cooking for people I love, hitting up new bars and restaurants with friends, and traveling. And since you asked–and as a teacher, I hate unanswered questions–I’ve recently realized that orange might be my favorite color, and I love gorillas. 
What does whump mean to you?
 It’s the sort of pressing-on-a-bruise feeling that is wrapped up in watching someone suffer and then be comforted. It’s the need for vulnerability and human connection. It’s watching Prince Philip get chained to a wall and not understanding why you find it so magnetic, but you do, haha! 
How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 
I was writing for the Newsies fandom (I know) during the pandemic, and one of my favorite authors tagged her epic work with “whump.” I clicked the tag on tumblr, and I found @lonesome--hunter’s Ezra almost immediately; I fell down the rabbit hole and never came out. After Ezra, I spent a good long time with @ashintheairlikesnow’s Danny and then @galaxywhump’s Wren. I realized that a lot of what I was putting in my own writing could be classified as “whump,” but I wasn’t sure how to join in the fun. I lurked for a while and then beta-ed for @darkthingshappen before I got brave enough to post my own stuff. But part of what motivated me to start posting was just how supportive and welcoming the whole community is. On AO3, you can get tons of hits but almost no real engagement; with whump, that’s totally different. It makes my little dopamine receptors ping. 
The whump community is amazingly supportive! Do you think your view on or the way you consume whump changed since you joined? 
 I am definitely a hurt/comfort gal. I can’t do the hurt without the comfort, and I need my whump to be strongly oriented in the characters’ feelings, whether we’re talking whumpers or whumpees. I struggle when a character is just getting the shit kicked out of them endlessly; I want them to have some relief, even if the relief is bittersweet or painful in its own way. I also find it easier to whump an OC than I do a fandom character, just because if they’re mine, I can build the kind of backstory that makes the whump reasonable. 
And your favourite whump trope?
 I do like noncon. Whump is a genre where I’ve really been able to explore scary things that have happened to me, and when a whumpee has an honest (and not needlessly gratuitous) nonconsensual experience, I gravitate toward it, especially if they’re allowed to explore the aftermath and how it makes them feel. I also love a mute whumpee–probably because I watched The Little Mermaid too many times growing up. Something about the helplessness of being trapped in your own body and at the mercy of others–hey, whumperflies! Captivity whump too, especially anything in the BBU. The BBU was one of my favorite discoveries when I found the community. It provides such rich opportunities! 
Captivity whump is so good! Would you mind sharing a favourite piece you've written? (the following pieces may contain non-explicit nsfw references)
Ooooh. Well, I guess I’ll choose one from each of my series. For Jack, my first and forever whumpee in Behavior Modification, and his caretaker, my wish-fulfillment fake husband, Joe, it’s this piece with their little girl. It’s something that I wrote in basically a single stretch one afternoon last summer, and I’m proud of it because it shows both how far Jack has come in his recovery and how much everything he’s gone through is still affecting him. It also shows how fierce of a protector Joe is, even though Jack’s got strength of his own. Plus, Hallie, their little girl, was super fun to create. She’s a feisty little thing, and I liked the idea of looking at such a dark, violent system through a child’s eyes. 
For The Kennel, it’s this piece which immediately follows my boy Will after his best friend Tommy is forced to assault him. It’s got the aftermath of noncon, plus it includes a lot of world building for my scary whumper, Doc, and his particular set-up. It really sets up the horror of the situation in which Will and Tommy have found themselves and also emphasizes the stories of other whumpees whose stories I’d love to explore (Justin and Tony, I’m looking at you). Plus, it gives Annie–who’s technically the caretaker in this story, even though she’s been abused herself–a chance to think about how she’s been raised and the way her father treats people. My favorite moment is when Will just breaks down completely, because we haven’t seen him do that yet. It’s a human moment, and he’s feeling so much less than human that it’s almost cathartic. 
And then, honorable mention to this piece where I crossover my two stories and let Jack help Will as his post-rescue counselor. I had so much fun with that reveal! 
Oh wow, I love the Kennel piece! You’ve broken my heart with Justin and Will! Would you like to share your writing routine  with us?
 I’ve actually been riding a bit of a block lately, but typically, I am an evening writer. No drinks or snacks, but usually movie scores that match the mood of what I’m writing. On good nights, it’s big blocks; on others, it’s just a sentence here and there (that’s been where I’m at lately). I try to write a little every day, but again, it’s been rough lately. Being a teacher at the end of the year is just as hard as being a student, haha. 
I can only imagine! Are some things easier for you to write? Anything you struggle with writing?
 I have an easier time writing recovery than I do straight whump, which is sometimes a bummer, because the whump community doesn’t seem to like recovery quite as much. So, I’ll pour myself into a recovery piece I have big feelings about, and then it won’t get quite as much traffic and engagement as when I’m roughing up the boys. I am very careful about how I write noncon. I think I do a decent job, but I try to approach it from a place of sensitivity to the person who is suffering versus engaging through violence alone. That can take a lot of time and thought and big feelings. 
And is there anything you're working on at the moment? 
I do have a fantasy crossover miniseries with Jack, Joe, and Ivan and @oddsconverts’ Josh and Felix that I’ve had a really fun time working on. I need to write a little intro before I post it. I need to go back to Jack and his intimacy consultations at WRU, and AU AU Joe and his reaction to the Drip. Poor Will and Tommy are in desperate need of attention; I need to get Will sold away so all the drama can increase. Maybe during summer vacation? 
Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today? I am only funny on accident. Just ask my students. ;-) 
Do you have any writing advice you’d like to share?
I’m great at giving advice to others, but absolute shit at following that advice myself. For instance, write for you. Don’t write for hits, likes, reblogs, etc. Just write what you want to read. Write as often as you can. During the pandemic, what got me back into writing after years of thinking about it was trying to write a little every day. Find you some writing friends who will get excited with you when there’s something you can’t wait to write about. 
Finally, would you like to give a mention to some of the amazing people in the whump community?
I already mentioned some of my favorites, but shout outs to @hold-him-down (whom I was lucky enough to eat very expensive risotto with this spring and whose Leo is one of my very favorite whumpees), @peachy-panic (58 Days is one of my VERY favorites), @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump (whose Wyatt has my whole heart), and @squishablesunbeam (I mean, Jesse? Come on!). My first friends in the whump community were @darkthingshappen (creator of my Benny baby), @oddsconvert (whose series are all so beautifully written that I can’t choose a favorite–she even made me like vampire whump–and who is my wonder twin forever), and @sparrowsage (go check out his new stuff!). 
Thank you so much for joining us, @whumpcereal ! It was a pleasure to have you here! 
And to all you lovely folks at home, have a whump-derful day!
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nothorses · 11 months
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just some thoughts on the whole "cultural Christianity" thing: i think many people use it to mean something I personally would call more like "Christian normativity", in other words the assumption that everything religious is Christian. Not every dickish antitheist i've encountered was raised Christian and hates all religions now because that's their only frame of reference, some of them were raised fully atheist but still assume that their (usually very stereotyped and not remotely true-to-life) image of Christianity is the only form of religiosity that exists because (white, evangelical) Christianity is the dominant form in the US. The whole "true atheism" movement of the mid-2000s (which was actually just antitheism and Islamophobia repackaged for the post-911 world) contributed a lot to the current popular view of atheists being synonymous with bad-faith antitheist cold takes in my view.
I have to say I don't really understand why atheists OR people of different religions get really into trying to debunk each other's beliefs/practices and I tend to see it as asshole behavior regardless of who is doing it, so this does color my impression of atheists when I see weirdly long twitter threads about how stupid Christianity is because X Y Z reductive descriptions of Roman Catholic theology, but no more so than when I open the Jumblr tag and every third post is complaining about Christianity instead of discussing anything actually relevant to Judaism 🤷🏻‍♂️
Yeah, I really think "Christian normativity" is a good term for it- and I like that it's kind of hard to slap that as a label onto individuals. A person is not "Christian normative", but they might have grown up under Christian hegemony, and the work of unpacking Christian normativity is likely to be long and hard.
But just like other forms of "normativity"- cisnormativity, heteronormativity- this is something everyone is influenced by, including the people who are erased by it. Trans people can still hold cisnormative ideals, and queer people can hold heternormative ideals. In fact, most do! Even after they think they've finished the work!
That doesn't mean they benefit from it, and there is no binary state of being or not being cis/heteronormative. It's something we all have to unpack over the course of our lives; being trans and queer just means it's generally more obvious that we need to start that process, and generally more obvious what to unpack.
Even then, a person with exclusively straight friends who realizes they're gay when they're 50 is probably still going to have a harder time of it than a straight ally raised by gay parents & surrounded by queer people.
Atheists are also not Christian, and there are things about Christian normativity that stick out to us because of that. Christian language in things like the pledge of alleigance, on federal currency, and in government documents, sticks out to most atheists! Mandatory prayer time in US public schools certainly stuck out to atheists, which is why atheists fought to end it.
The things a Christian-raised atheist notices are going to be different from the things an atheist-raised atheist does. Someone raised atheist in connection to a non-Christian spirituality/religion/culture is going to notice different things as well, and someone raised religious but not Christian will notice different things than all the rest.
Culture comes from everything from religion, to community, to family, to friends, to even the media you're exposed to. To imply that there is a binary state in which individual people are either Culturally Christian or Not Culturally Christian is reductive at best. There are trends, there are individuals who claim the label for themselves, and there is a cultural force that needs to be named and addressed.
But ultimately, it's always going to be more complicated than that. There will always be people who don't fit in one of those two boxes, no matter how you draw that line.
Best practice is generally to let other people decide how to categorize themselves.
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providing-leverage · 10 months
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The A-Team
(asexaul and aromantic Ted Lasso fic recs)
Let's be honest, half the reason for this post is the title. But also to shine some light on a couple beautiful fics I've found with aro and ace characters in this fandom. The purple heart indicates ace, green indicates aro content.
A is for Ally by starryeyedknight 3.8k💜
When Richard suggests a novel way for the Richmond boys to show their allyship, Colin ends up coming out to the team...just not in the way they were expecting.
In which the team gets distracted (multiple times), Isaac is overprotective, Jamie suspects Colin might actually be a Jedi knight, and Bumbercatch reveals way more about his sexual preferences than anyone was expecting. (And poor Will is inadvertently scarred for life.)
A cute little fic that I found perusing the asexual tag. I really enjoyed this au, and Colin's coming out/the guy's reactions to him as well as him not having it all figured out himself.
Love Stuck by @altschmerzes 6k 💚
When Keeley opens the door, Jamie bypasses any kind of perhaps typically-expected greeting. While this isn’t exactly unusual for him, what he says is.
“I’ve got great news,” he tells her, smiling like he really does have great news, which helps to somewhat offset the sense of foreboding she’d been starting to feel. “I am not in love with you. Can I come in?"
OR: Jamie Tartt is aromantic. This changes everything. This also changes nothing. A study in identity, defining your own relationships, and different kinds of love.
I am completely in love with this fic. Jamie having a bi panic before he realizes actually, neither is good/ref. It's very true to my own experiences and made me relate to him so much.
Such a Skeptic: or, Keeley Jones is Bad at Communication by ellarree 800💚
Keeley Jones is definitely not bitter about Shandy. Barbara is definitely interested in double dates and the institution of romance as a whole. Jamie Tartt definitely knows why he’s here. And Jack Danvers? Well, she knows that none of those three statements are true.
A short sequel to the above fic, with aromantic bonding and Barbara who quite honestly deserves so much more screen time in cannon. It has it's own sequel which you can find here.
A Simple Matter of (Mis)Communication by starryeyedknight 3k💜
For the past few weeks Moe Bumbercatch and Jan Maas have been spending an awful lot of time together, and everyone knows what that means. Everyone, apparently, except for Moe Bumbercatch himself...
Apparently I just need to binge read this author's whole collection of works because I didn't realize they also write A is for Ally until making this. Asexual Jan Mass which again I found myself relating to a lot. Technically part of a series and his asexuality was mentioned in the first work, but it's central to the plot of this one. It's also super cute.
Self rec: it's a rather touching notion by providing_leverage 5.7k 💜💚
“I won’t beat around the bush. We think you might be bisexual. You familiar with it?” A friendly team game of spin the bottle ends in a few revelations, some quicker than others. (AKA Moe Bumbercatch going through the unofficial aroace right of passage: adding no real attraction to men with no real attraction to women and coming up with bisexual, with a little help from his friends)
I really enjoyed writing this, even if the last 2k was just a fight against myself. It went through so many different versions and ended longer than I meant for it to be. I really neat part of the Ted Lasso fandom is how platonic so much of the content is.
If you've got any aspec recommendations of your own, please drop them here or tag me. Self recs are absolutely invited. Happy pride!
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unhappytimeleaper · 2 years
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how would crazy:b react to reader hanging out with a male friend? separate headcanons pls. 
Requested by anonymous 
Word count: 6,800+ 
So I’m the first to admit, I don’t really like crazy:b compared to other groups. I don’t hate them, but out of every group they are the one I pay the least attention to. Part of that means,, I don’t know the members very well— at least contrasted to other characters. Specifically for Rinne and HiMERU; Rinne is one of my least favorite characters and while I like HiMERU, he’s a hard character to write for due to hidden complexities he holds. Every time I thought I had a grasp on what to write I started second guessing myself, and you can tell Rinne’s is written differently to the others since I wasn’t sure what I was going for yet. Oh well. I tried looking through some old stories but it was a pain trying to dig some of them up, so I’m going off of what I remember. I hope this turns out okay. In the mean time I’m hoping to familiarize myself with some of the characters in crazy:b more.
Also, I started a new job which is why this [and many other requests] might be slower. Well, correctly, I did start a new job and after one day quit because it was such a mess. I’m looking somewhere else for another job but until I get used to the routine writing might be a little slow. 
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Crazy:B members; unedited. Gender Neutral reader.
Warnings; jealousy, stalking, threats, manipulation, guilt tripping, violence, implied murder, death. It’s the whole nine yards, go in with general warning.
This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.
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Amagi Rinne
One of the biggest things is how much of a pain Rinne can be. As direct as he is, life is a game, and so is winning you. He’s exceptionally possessive; it’s clear to everyone but knows with romance, that’s not how you win. Just as that, he wants you to come to him; only this often backfires if you have no romantic interest in him, although he believes it is just luck and sometime his plan will work out. Much like gambling, if he throws his affection at you enough times, the message will get across at some point, and you’ll submit to his love.
However, that’s not it. Rinne knows you can’t put all your eggs in one basket when gambling. One of the ways he does this is by acting as if he is pursuing others— while he never does it, Rinne knows how jealous he can get. He thinks if he says he does it enough, you’ll get annoyed or jealous that you’ll come running to him and confess.
Rinne can barely manage the effort you put in with other units and forget about interacting with other staff if he catches your sight. What is just a general friendship for you, Rinne sees as you getting back for his lies. Yeah, a taste of his own medicine, he guesses. Luck seemed to backfire this time, but that doesn’t mean you can just get away with it either.
For a while, Rinne becomes more overbearing and pestering, which is a feat you likely don’t want to unlock. Chaos follows you and what once was at minimum aggressive flirting [aka marriage proposals and arm wrapped around your body] becomes those you need to be communicating with avoiding you due to the clinginess Rinne exudes. Every person outside of the other units you meet he threatens as being your new ‘friend.’ Half of it is anger that he let you out of his sight for a few minutes, and now you’re basically dating someone else, which mainly comes off as passive-aggressive teasing. Thankfully Rinne doesn’t really seem to understand the concept of being quiet; even more around you, if you can manage to sneak away from his overbearing presence, you have a personal alarm letting you know when he gets close.
Durning what you considered to be the peak of his clinginess, you found it’d probably be best to try to minimize a friendship through texts or if you really wanna risk it, a call. Rinne’s possessiveness when simply talking to others at work is nearly palpable. Things would become very bad for both of you when Rinne meets the actual person you called ‘a friend’. One of the benefits you’ve had so far is him thinking you’re just playing the same game he is. A delusional mindset that you caught onto his attempts to make you jealous, and this was you playing his own game. Eventually, you’d crack and come clean, then he’d be able to properly punish you for tossing your relationship to the side to bring out his emotions. How cruel could you be to have him keep losing his luck? He knew the gamble of romance was hard, marriage being the ultimate win, but his luck shouldn’t be running this low.
If you do it in person, either try to explain why you can’t hang out anymore, or they worry and contact you again, so you meet again; things are gonna get messy. See, the nice thing about idols is they often have their own stuff. As poorly as he treats part of his idol life, Rinne does have to attend to it and can’t always drag you along. Plus, Rinne, no matter what, loves to live his life on his whims, and that will always lead him back to one of his favorite activities. Gambling. Typically you have a few hours in which it’s best to use this to grind out your work with other units, but they’ll survive. You’d meet your friend at your favorite cafe, try to quickly explain around the issue. That work was wild right now, and groups were pulling you left and right. There were a few co-workers you had demanding your full attention, and you didn’t want to just leave your friend hanging if you couldn’t answer messages or meet up anymore. The less you explained about Rinne’s clinginess, the better. Think of it as a protective measure since Rinne tended to be a wild card.
Don’t be silly tho, of course, Rinne would know your favorite spots! Seeking you out after having spent a few hours gambling, he likely would be wandering the street, peeking into all of your favorite shops/cafes for you. Upon approaching the cafe you and your friend had been chatting at, you’d probably be alerted to Rinne’s presence from the start. Loud is nearly his only mode; the second he steps into the cafe, you can hear his boisterous laugh– tho it’s quickly cut short seeing the man sitting across from you. This wasn’t a joke? You really were seeing someone, guess that’s why his toss of luck in romance was so poor. At least this was an easy solution; Rinne was an intimidating person and quite strong. An easy target to remove, once he’s out of the picture, things should appear in his favor.
Stomping up to the table, Rinne grabs your arm, pulling you up from the table and into his arms. Leaning over, he plants a kiss on your cheek– glaring at your friend and, frustratingly for you, gathering the attention of the rest of the cafe. Even asking for him to step back likely does nothing; rolling your eyes, you can try everything to explain to Rinne. You’re just meeting your friend on your break, but it’s hard to convince him of anything else once his mind is set. In the hope of not messing with Crazy:B’s reputation and calming down the fire head, your best luck is to drag him from the shop, profusely apologizing to your friend.
Due to his upbringing, it’s easy for Rinne to overpower you and drag you into the alley. It only takes a second for him to move you into a headlock, demanding you tell him everything. How long where you gonna keep sneaking around, dating someone behind his back? Did you really think toying with him was fun? Did it make you feel special getting attention from someone else? If you really wanted to date someone, why not him? Bigger than his anger, his sadness was tangible in his voice. For as bright as Rinne is, it’s strange to him to lose the wild joy of often held. It’s a quick reminder that you truly seem to not know much about Rinne beyond what he wants people to perceive. Although it’s hard to speak with the grip he has around your body, you’re able to squeak out that he was just a friend. Swearing that you weren’t dating– you never even considered it. Not like you had time, and you did care for your friend but couldn’t consider him a partner. Rinne heard what he wanted regardless; you cared for this other guy. Even now, if you didn’t like this other man, the more variables added a bigger chance for his loss with romance. Letting go of your neck, Rinne would grasp your arm and pull you to the ES building. Similar to before, it’s easier to go in silence– hopefully giving time to Rinne to calm down and for you to think. Frustratingly, you will have to figure out how to sort out Rinne’s outburst as part of your job, the gambling habits were terrible enough to tack this on as a ‘scandal.’
Once back at the build, Rinne would shove you into a meeting room, the walk doing nothing to calm down his running emotions. One final chance to calm him down, to have your friendship spared until you could sort this out with Rinne later. This wasn’t the time to ride the high horse or even try to be logical; you knew Rinne could take down your friend in an instant and wouldn’t hesitate to do so. You knew the second he was done dealing with your friend, you’d be on the side of his punishment. Wrapping your arm around him and mustering words into your dry mouth, you begin to plead to him. You’re sorry, really, you didn’t mean it. Just please… leave him out of it. He didn’t do anything wrong; you were the one playing him. Yes… you were just trying to make him jealous. After all he spends so much of his life on a whim– if you made Rinne jealous, then he’d stop running around gambling and spend more time with you. [Which isn’t a whole lie, as much of a pain as Rinne could be, you hoped with his infatuation you could use it to curve his gambling and focus into his idol work as more Crazy:B work meant more time you had to invest in their group.] It didn’t matter. No matter how much you grovel and throw away any pride for the sake of saving your friend, it wouldn’t change. Rinne ruffed your hair but pushed you off him. He told you not to move from the office, slamming the door behind him.
You never really learned what Rinne did to your friend. To be honest, you didn’t know if he even survived or if Rinne beat him to death. You didn’t know much about Rinne’s history, nor Hiiro’s, but you were well aware of how tough they were. You knew Rinne knew how to fight, and no matter tough your friend was, Rinne wanted to win and there was no stopping him once he started. Your heart ached; no matter what, it was easier to convince yourself that Rinne just scared them off with his personality than having done something permanent. Not like you could bring it up to him; Rinne wouldn’t stand you mentioning anything related to him. He considered it too big of a dip in his luck, a jinx if you mentioned it. Plus, the past is past for a reason– you must focus on the future to survive with him. Specifically the future you’ll have with him. It was also a great message to remind you that friendships like that won’t be treated as easily as you got off last time.
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HiMERU
There is one benefit HiMERU has over all his other unit mates, and it’s his mystery. Even with his more brutish and harsh speaking manner at times, HiMERU can be a great confidant for you. Especially with work, given how he presents himself as a veteran of the industry. Due to this, you really have become closer to the strange blue-haired idol. It does benefit both of you in a way, although HiMERU does seem to get the better end of the benefit. Mainly given, regardless of how close you’ve become, HiMERU remained an enigma at best. Really, you don’t know him at all as a person but rather a persona he shows off. It doesn’t matter what you gain from the conversation with him since merely speaking with you gives nearly all the answers he needs to gain information about you. And if it doesn’t, his personality and deduction skills allow him to easily manipulate others for information.
Even though some form of closeness has been created with HiMERU, you still try to try to keep some level of professionalism. Much like how HiMERU tries to keep his persona in front of you, you do your best to match the same energy. Of course, you have a bit more leniency, but for the most part, you don’t try to bring up your friends outside of the company to idols. It was similar with your friend, you had known him for a while now, but you tried to not talk about your work with idols. Mainly just so that you didn’t disclose anything personal or behind-the-scenes work going on. People knew what you were up to, yet not directly the idol groups you often associated with.
Really, HiMERU couldn’t be more content so far with his relationship with you. He likely couldn’t really consider something like a traditional relationship. Not when he is HiMERU. As much as it’s a battle between himself, his true self, he’s not going to ruin the life he had built just for a romance. Contentment is what he’s seeking. Content with knowing what you’re doing, with how much time he can squeeze in while you’re stuck at the company, and the details of your life he can pick up from conversations. You’d be surprised at how many little things he’s learned when you help out his unit and even more the things around the office. He didn’t love all of it; specifically, the attention Rinne would get from you at work, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Although you swore, HiMERU’s snarkiness came out far more than before when you had to do group work with Crazy:B.
Speaking to another staff member, HiMERU could see your joy on a particular topic. Not quite close enough to catch, but enjoy for the jealous go plant itself in his mind and heart. Was it this staff member you suddenly had an interest in? Or something else. He clicked his tongue and waited for you to run off after another project. With the opportunity, HiMERU could stride up to the other coworker and ask what was going on. It wasn’t fully clear, but from what he gathered, you had plans for the evening. Clearly not alone either by how your coworker phrased it. It was annoying, how you did talk to him reminded him you had a life outside of ES. Outside of idols… outside him. HiMERU played the idea of perfection anyway. What more could you want.
But it was true, your friend was meeting you after work. You hadn’t seen him in a while, both of your careers pulling in opposite directions. It wasn’t anything significant, just going out for the evening and wandering around, yet you couldn’t help but be excited enough to share it with someone. For the rest of the day, your excitement was nearly caught on by everyone in the building. For simplicity, your friend was just going to swing by the building where you would meet up with him.
HiMERU did his best to not let it bother him. He tried focusing on his work and off-handed tasks Crazy:B needed to get done while Rinne was off doing whatever he did. But every time he sat down, his mind couldn’t focus. What frustrated him the most was the worry of where his HiMERU started and where he started— one of his biggest fears of having others find out about his real-life identity beginning to collide with you being taken away. HiMERU wasn’t the type to get this way, but he was. Gladly his fears were kept internal, and his calmness could be maintained externally. Rumored had it that you were meeting this stranger in front of the building, a good starting point.
HiMERU managed to hang out in the lobby; for a building filled with idols, it was plenty of great hiding spots. Concerning, but useful. He found the perfect place to watch as some guy entered the building, and quickly you ran up to him. It was a tug on his heart; you running off with another man. Something he wouldn’t be able to experience, at least for years unless he wanted to disappear long enough for people to forget about HiMERU. At some point he knew you were bound to move on without him. Although he now had a face, one piece of the puzzle needed to stop this.
The rest of the night, HiMERU managed to get online and use what little he could find on you. Idols mainly weren’t permitted to have personal social media, but you were as long as you were able to keep the stuff with your career offline. It was luckily a small account, although easy to find despite HiMERU’s struggle with social networks. The stabbing in his chest started again, this time noticing all the fun you had without them— without him. How many times did this reminder need to keep coming back to haunt him today. It took a few tries, but soon enough, he was able to find that strange man you ran off with through mutal photos and tags.
There wasn’t much; he only bothered learning the basics. He was close to your age, met not long ago over a similar hobby, and had a job that kept him quite busy. The rest didn’t matter. He didn’t matter. You had everything you needed here at ES, right? The people here, him; weren’t they better? More interesting? HiMERU didn’t understand; he didn’t understand.
Honestly, it was a wonderful night for you. You couldn’t remember the last time you could take your mind off work (took your friend a few reminders) and simply relax with people outside of ES. As much as you loved the idols, it sometimes was nice to be around… normal people. Plus, you woudln’t give up the job for anything else, but it could be suffocating at times. You went home and could only think about the next time you could meet up. Crossing your fingers, you could only hope it was quicker than the last break.
Days passed, then weeks. At first, you hoped that things had just gotten busy for him, you have also become a lot busier in the last few weeks too. Yet you couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed that he didn’t reach out. At all. Everything seemed to go radio silent. Nothing had been off that night you hung out; even when you said goodnight, everything had been on good terms. It was pretty easy for the idols to pick up on how upset you were, even with trying to keep positive morale around work. It was nice to have the sympathies from the majority of the idols you worked with, but nothing could shake the aching you felt. You felt some comfort when HiMERU approached you. A calming presence surrounded you, something you felt whenever he was around. As his hand placed calmly on your shoulder, he sat beside you, extending a certain level of peace to your frantic mind.
You groaned, as much as you tried to keep things separate from work and personal life, you carefully leaned into HiMERU’s touch. You complained about this friend you were close with suddenly dropping contact. How even the few messages you sent were being completely ignored across every platform. He never seemed like the type to just downright drop you, sure, there had been periods where you didn’t talk, but generally it was only a week at most and always followed with an explanation. It just hurt to feel so disposable. You apologized for rambling— HiMERU said it was fine, just a cruel comment directed to your friend that you’ve only heard HiMERU refer to Rinne. But HiMERU did his best to use the calming persona he held to soothe your emotions. Couldn’t this be for your benefit as well? Things have gotten so busy here, and there are so many groups that need your help, especially Crazy:B. Not that you were only a tool for work, HiMERU didn’t want to imply that. It’s just you have so many great friends here… and there are always other people you can meet. Shoudn’t you focus on that instead?
It wasn’t like there was anyone to come help find out that HiMERU decided to interfere. That the next day HiMERU went to your friend’s workplace for a quick chat. No, he didn’t go so far as to threaten your friend; HiMERU did have an image to uphold. It was easy though, to convince your friend that clearly there was a reason you two rarely saw each other, right? Maybe you just weren’t as interested in a friendship with him anymore; being surrounded by unique idols every day makes it hard to connect with such average people. He was just weighing you down. Maybe it was best if he gave you some space, at least until after the next set of events were finished. HiMERU was glad, problem-solving could sometimes be so easy with his deduction skills to manipulate others, he was just pleased that with a few words, a simple rift would form. It was so remove the threats to his perfect image of how it should be.
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Shiina Niki 
Dealing with Niki had always been the easiest part of working with crazy:b. Still is. As long as you provided snacks, he’d sit still and get the work done that you needed. Although you knew that this wasn’t a career path he wanted, Niki did seem a lot more cooperative when you were involved. Part of you assumed it’s because you actively indulged in your own funds for Niki’s snacks, he seemed like the type you could easily by your way into his heart with enough food. You did care for Niki as a friend, but the snack funds mainly the fact that you need all the focus you could get from three-fourths of Crazy:B if you wanted to get anything completed.  
Even if Niki didn’t fully understand the emotions lurking inside his heart, you did. He was an intense person, constantly seeking you out for new food or snacks to try. The constant dazing out in conversations, even halfway through eating— clearly something not related back to his food issues. You sure it wasn’t your imagination either, yet you could swear that he took every chance he could to become closer. Not that Niki minded; he was nervous to admit the new feelings that started to appear, but it was fairly apparent that the chef had a more than a small crush on you. Thankfully as silly as it was, it was something he didn’t quite get, which made it easier for you to pretend you didn’t know. Niki wasn’t necessarily an idiot with love, but it was even with his previous shuffle unit it was not something he was familiar enough with to act on it. Idol and staff weren’t supposed to mingle in that way to start, but you didn’t want to overcomplicate the work you had to with Crazy:B anymore than it already existed as.
Luckily, as much as you appreciated Niki’s company [and food he made], it was a stroke of luck that you rarely had to interact with him at work. You often ended up seeing him more when you would go to Café Cinnamon, but since he was on the clock, he rarely had time to stop by and chat. Until his… little crush… passed you assume this method was for the best. As if it could last forever, Niki, as sweet as he was, tended to have a one-track mind with food from experience, and eventually with enough space, you could redirect him to that. Or at least reign him into his idol career. Not the best thing you could do but some things have to be done.
Through all the stress and exhaustion, you were most thankful for one of the friend you had made in school, who had followed you as you transitioned into your career. It was something you were highly grateful for as the majority of your friendship had fizzled as you entered the workforce. Despite not having the same amount of time to meet, you did your best to meet for lunch as often as you could— a tradition started in school that you tried to keep up with every few weeks. The plan was to meet up at Café Cinnamon; not your first pick, but your friend pleaded and pleaded to try their food.
Somehow, the idea of taking your friend to where Niki worked made your stomachs do flips. It’s not like you had anything to hide or worry about; you weren’t dating him nor your friend. You weren’t leading either on too, so it shouldn’t be an isse. You had every right to go to Café Cinnamon as everyone else! Besides, Niki might not even be working, and even if he was a chef rarely came to the front of the house for long periods of time. Not like he was allowed to stop and overly socialize with you then.  
Niki was busy, sitting at the table for an upcoming meeting for Crazy:B. Not only was Rinne running late as usual; you weren’t here, giving little reason for him to give a damn about whatever the needed to complete. All he could think of was his next meal and, if anyone knew where you were— two birds with one stone if he could grab you for a lunch ‘date.’  He had been thinking of a new recipe all day just for you. It wasn’t until a sharp tug of his hair pulled him from his thought. Whining, Niki glared up at the redhead for ruining his daydreams. Of course! Rinne should have picked up on it sooner; his dear friend had a crush on that staff person who always brought snacks.
Crush? A crush? No, no, that seemed complicated and… Niki wouldn’t know how to even go about handling it. Rinne let out his piercing laugh, pulling his dear friend into a tight hug, digging his hand into his locks. Ahh,, stressing the simple stuff. Niki could feel his cheeks burning up as Rinne went on, but as much as he hated taking advice from someone like him, there was some logic to what he was saying. As the meeting finally was able to start, Niki was able to one problem solved, but as his stomach grumbled, he just couldn’t wait for his shift at Café Cinnamon to begin so he could snack on some food. Meetings really sucked when you weren’t around. And once his shift was over, he could make something special to share his feelings with you! It was a perfect plan, though Niki would die if anyone outside of Crazy:B found out he was getting romance advice from Rinne. Having to rely on him so much was always something he hated showcasing.
Cooking today, Niki was more excited than usual. He was always his brightest when he was in the kitchen, but even today, the other co-workers noticed something was different. When asked about it, all Niki could say was he had an extra special dish to make. It wasn’t until he heard your voice very faintly from the seating area. Niki could feel his heart beat even more erratically; he wasn’t sure if he could do this yet. He peeked his head, catching your frame as you followed someone to a table… wait. Someone else? Was he already too late? Was all that kindness you extended just to mess with him? Lead him on? Rinne did say there was likely some competition he’d have to face [just like with gambling]. He wished Rinne would use a different metaphor… if he equated it to food maybe, he’d understand it all a little better. He could feel his heart pull and twist seeing you here with another man. Seeing you smile and laugh at someone else. It was almost like a trance. For the first time, he didn’t feel the aching hunger he usually did— rather, just an emptiness. All his daydreams for the morning had been of going out to eat with you… you bringing him snacks at practice… him cooking you special meals [ones he’d never share for anyone else]. Everything was collapsing.
Like a ghost, he moved through the kitchen. If the other staff thought he was acting strangely before, the sudden switch in moods was far more concerning. If being honest, Niki wasn’t even necessarily sure what happened. It was like when he didn’t have enough to eat, and things became hazy, only this time he was sure he was full from snacking on scraps from his earlier dishes. Before he knew it, the dishes for you and… that person… were wished and ready to be taken out. Niki grabbed the two plates and moved to the front of the house, gliding across the room to your seats.
You tried to play off seeing Niki as normal as you could, but even with a slight glance, it was easy to tell something was throwing him off his game. You tried to be friendly, something that instantly made him light up. You still paid attention to him. He was still in this game! Trying to play things off, you did your best to introduce Niki to your friend. How he was so excited to try Niki’s cooking. So you weren’t dating now, just friends. But how long before friends turned into going out to his favorite place to eat and you coming in every day with this man rubbing it in that you were with someone else eating the food he was pouring all your love into cooking! You did your best to ignore his sour glance, but it seemed to come as quickly as it went. Once more, you thanked him for the dish and apologized for taking up so much of his time while at work. You could see him linger for a second, quickly adding that you’d see him around soon— right? You agreed, of course you’d seem him around at work. That seemed to work as the grey-haired man slinked back into the kitchen. It was such a strange sight to see the once cheerful man so deep in his emotions, but you worried anything you got involved in would only make things worse given the circumstances.
The rest of the lunch seemed quite uneventful. Niki didn’t make another reappearance, but you thought it was for the best. Hopefully, today’s issues could pass, and tomorrow, the fun, bright, albeit hungry Niki would be back. You’d give it a few days anyway before you sent Rinne to talk to him. Although that plan may need some revisions, you still had time to think about it. But it never seemed to follow through, it appeared quickly you were pulled in plenty of directions. Work suddenly picked up, Niki, when not at the cafe, seemed to be following you around even more with random food-quest, and worst, you’re friend seemed to have gotten quite sick. You knew it had something to do with the lunch Niki served the other day. Not on purpose– never on purpose. Food was Niki’s life, literally, and no matter how he felt, he never would have done something to ruin a dish.
Another day, another invite. Niki came running up to you with a lunch he had made. You knew at some point you couldn’t keep running away from him. Beside, what was the chance him having another… episode… like that one day and giving you some sort of food posioning. Accepting, you were surprised as Niki took you out of the building to a secluded area of the rooftop garden. It felt as if it came out of no where, but somehow the plethora of food he had made lined the area you were taking up. All of this felt strange. That you shouldn’t have accepted. Niki was sitting closer than usual anyway, leaning in and offering you to try bites of the dishes he had made. Made just for you! As you nibbled on what he provided, Niki quickly devoured the food. A positive sign that he was going to accidentally poison you– though Niki seemed to have an iron stomach, so maybe it wasn’t a good sign. You had to ask; for confirmation for of your worries. Did Niki have something to do with your friend’s sickness?
He was so sad, nearly in tears. He promised it was an accident. Niki didn’t even know what happened! Like something possessed him. He promised, swore, practically throwing himself on your lap. Niki was back to that strange attitude from a few days ago, and all you could do was comfort him. You promised to not tell anyone, he didn’t need his cooking career damaged by one faulty mistake; Niki just needed to be more careful. A lot more careful. Niki knew it was only a temporary solution. Your friend couldn’t stay sick forever, but by then, he could make his move and a more permanent reminder that you were his. Soon enough, all his daydreams were coming true. This was just the start of his perfect life…
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Oukawa Kohaku
Working in two groups had a lot of struggles. Double the work, double the hours, double the meetings, double the practices. Though there was one positive Kohaku could place. Double the time with you. After all, work did drag the two of you apart far more often than he would appreciate, but unlike others he had more reason to seek you out for help.
It was sorta cute, at least in the sense of how friends tend to complement each other. Or a sibling. You knew Kohaku didn’t need a lot of saving or protection, despite his lack of knowledge of the real world, but some part of you did worry about him more than you let on. Sure, Kohaku was mature. Likely one of the most mature idols you worked with, yet that maturity seemed to the only extent so far from the everyday world. Every time the old-fashioned pinknette did his best to locate you [something you swore he a knack for], you caved and did your best to help him with whatever task presented itself. Was it the best for you to play favorites… probably not, but it didn’t get in the way of your actual work, so you assumed it was fine.
Besides, just as much as you felt you needed to help Kohaku, you also felt the need to watch him. Not in a creepy way, but rather, the mysterious background you came from made it feel like you had to pay extra attention. He wasn’t the only one— Hiiro, Rinne, Mayoi… all of them you felt the need to make sure their complex pasts kept them out of trouble in the modern world.
Kohaku wasn’t necessarily dumb; he knew his upbringing affected his social skills. He knew he didn’t understand things the same way as others, but all of this had to mean something? The way you treated him was different than others. He cares about you too, in a way that is different from others. Kohaku knew it was wrong. The life of an idol and staff shouldn’t overlap romantically. Even if he was freer now from his childhood, he was expected to follow the rules. To obey. Though he didn’t want to stop. If anything, it could be like one of those classical plays of forbidden love. The ideas made his heart race.
Kohaku knew precisely how this would play out. Traditional stories and his family all had generational romances, sure, it would need to be adapted a little to the modern era, but most things could be kept the same. His first task as he was taught was learning about the target. It wasn’t hard for him to sneak into your company files, and social media was a great tactic to learn more about your casual life that the documents wouldn’t provide. When he could squeeze it in between jobs, he did his best to follow you around and gather in-person information, small things he could surprise you with. Gift-giving always won the hearts of many of the beloved in his stories, perhaps it would work on you too. It wasn’t until following you around one day the worst could have happened. You were out, sitting on a bench on the phone. Due to work, you often had to pick up calls from other companies or employees, but this one was different; Kohaku could tell based on your reactions. He knew you weren’t dating anyone, that was a benefit, but his heart burned with anger at the idea of competition. Two pursuers weren’t uncommon in stories, but it posed a threat he couldn’t bear to try to beat out in his current state.
Lingering, he was glad to be able to pick up on some more information. By how you spoke, you knew this person for a long time, you two rarely saw each other despite it only being a half-hour commute between each other, and you spoke to them so fondly. This went beyond the usual kindness seen at ES or those you worked with. You were often happy at work, or at least put on a facade you were but never like this. It stung; you were supposed to talk to him like this. Not like how you spoke to Mama… to Niki and HiMERU… to him…
Both of you returned to ES not long after your call had ended. As Kohaku approached you, it took everything he could manage to bite his tongue. Who were you on the phone with? You knew Kohaku had a snippy side, but it was rarely directed at you. How did he know you were on the phone as well? That was a good two blocks from the ES building, something you tried to do on purpose. It was easy to play it off, there was something that needed to be picked up from a shop a few blocks away for something Crazy:B was working on and Kohaku was the only one free. He had gotten lost on his way and instead just decided to come back to the building, having someone else pick up the order later. He saw you on the phone and was just wondering— there wasn’t any harm in his curiosity, right? It wasn’t the first time you indulged Kohaku in your personal life, you tried to not make it a habit, but every once in and a while couldn’t have lasting damages. Besides, Kokahu was mature; he knew not to blab about it to everyone. You explained one of your long-time best friend was going to be coming down to the area near here. He didn’t live far but working late into the night had caused some problems with . It was great to think of things to do, places to take him. Sure, things had to be kept a little strict, given you still had work but that didn’t mean you couldn’t make the most of your time with him.
Kohaku blanked out the second you said his name and that he was coming down for a week. A week of you distracted from work, even if you were here. Thirty minutes wasn’t long. It would be easy. Man, Kokahu was so thankful for the internet.
The following days seemed to go smoothly both for you and Kohaku. Well, it was until you got a call at work about your friend. His mother was calling, and for a second, you froze up. Everything went blank in your mind… all you could remember was sobbing on the floor with a few idols rushing to your side. Honestly, you couldn’t recall who was there; even now, all your thought were filled in a hazy fog. His mom had called to inform you of his passing, but they weren’t sure how or why. He was a standup guy, well-liked both in and out of school. Apparently, walking home from work, he was attacked, dragged into an alley late at night. Someone had found his body the following day which was swiftly identified. The company had offered a little bit of time taken off to gather yourself, but work was just too busy… no… this was for the best. Something to take your mind off it. And it was nice to be surrounded by friends, well, coworkers, but you were close to many of them and you could feel all of them doing their best to cheer you up.
You weren’t hungry. Really your appetite had been struggling the last few days, but you knew you had to keep taking care of yourself. You found an empty office room and prodded at your food. It even came as a shock when something touched your arm, pulling you from your daze. Kohaku had rested his hand gently over your poking at the dish. He didn’t feel bad. Even seeing your tear-stained face, he was just glad that that pest wasn’t coming. And this was his moment. What better than to be the hero that jumps in and saves the love interest. Heart pounding against his ribs, he knew things would all work themselves out with time and that he could remove anyone [within reason] who could come between them. Cupping your cheek in his hand, he leaned with a chaste kiss against the corner of your lips.
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vampyrsutton · 1 year
Text
ShinMonoKami~Cuckholding
Summary:
Monoma, being from a different class, doesn’t know the purple hair boy is taken and confesses. He’s not expecting to be invited in, let alone asked to help with a kink on the other blonde’s list, but sure, why the fuck not!
Ao3 Tags:
Cuckolding, Master/Slave, Kinktober, Kinktober 2022, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyamory, Hypnotism, Consensual Hypnotism, Kink Negotiation, Praise Kink, Kaminari Denki Has ADHD, Bottom Monoma Neito, Switch Monoma Neito, Top Shinsou Hitoshi, Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Anal Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Kaminari Denki is insecure, Shinsou Hitoshi is Insecure, Monoma Neito is Insecure, Insecurities, Mild Angst, Dick riding, Voyeurism, Masturbation, After care, post-sex cuddles, Banter, dorks being adorable, Dorks in Love, Getting Together
"So, what do you think?" Monoma asks, glancing between Shinsou and the floor in an unusual bout of shyness.
Shinsou blinks slowly, having not expected this. One can see the gears turning in his head as he thinks it over, feeling bad that it's obviously making the blond's anxiety worse. Eventually, he comes to a decision, waving for Kaminari to come back over.
"...so I am dating Kaminari…" Shinsou finally answers as he throws his arm over Denki's shoulder, wincing when the copycat visibly deflates. "But." The blonde perks back up, hopefully. "What are your thoughts on poly relationships or at least three ways?" 
"Wait, babe, are you asking about what I think you are?" Denki asks excitedly, looking to the other blonde hopefully. "...And you said you don't have a type." He snickers.
"Shut up," Shinsou mutters, messing up the darker blonde hair. 
Meanwhile, Monoma might as well have borrowed the other's quirk as he desperately tries to get his brain back online. 'This...is not how I expected this to go???' 
"You good, dude?" Denki asks, waving his hand in front of light blue eyes. 
Monoma blinks, a wheeze leaving him before he shakes his head to gather his thoughts. "Sorry...not how I expected this to go...I- uh- I don't know? I've never considered it before?" He glances at Denki. "Plus Class 3-A…"
Denki rolls his eyes as Shinsou raises an amused brow. "You do know I'm 3-A, right?" 
"You don't count. You clawed your way in." Monoma mumbles, ears pink.
Shinsou smirks proudly before looking at Kaminari. "You said you're okay if they only want to date one of us right?" 
"Hmm? Oh yeah, babe. Not everyone is gonna vibe with both of us." He shrugs, waving it off before smirking and giving the other blonde a wink. "Though I might still play-flirt."
Shinsou smiles, kissing his forehead before looking back at Monoma. "Well, what do you think? Or would you like some time to think it over?"
Monoma is back to flabbergasted, but after a moment of thinking, slowly nods. "Uh, yeah, can I get back to you on that?"
"Yeah, take all the time you need." Shinsou hums with a lazy smile and a ruffle of the, by now shorter, boy's hair. "Just let us know." 
Monoma can't seem to decide if he likes how red the insomniac can make him with such a simple action, but nods before taking the out that the bell ringing allows him to run from the attention. He does decide that he's at least allowed to flip the chuckling boy off as he makes his retreat.
~~~
"So about that offer?" Monoma mumbles in the same spot just over a week later. "I wouldn't mind trying this out." He says with a wave of his hand, trying to act more like his usual self than he was last time. "Are there any rules to know orrr?" 
The two share an amused look before Shinsou nods. "Not many. Communication is of top importance. If at any time anyone feels jealous, neglected, uncomfortable, want to try a kink, or wishes to change the dynamics in any way, speak up and talk it through. Got it?" 
Monoma nods, ears darkening at the mention of kinks. "Sounds easy enough. I'm known for running my mouth after all." 
Shinsou nods in return before continuing. "Cuddling will usually include all parties involved, but if you're having a particularly bad day and just need one on one time, let us know."
"And if you ever need extra affection and can't find Shinsou, just come to me and I'll give you all the platonic hugs, kisses, and cuddles you need with no judgment." Kaminari grins. "And even I can see the superiority/inferiority complex you have going on so again if you need to vent it could help to have someone who can keep up with what you're saying ya know? Whatever you say will not leave the conversation. I'll keep my mouth shut."
Monoma blinks at the offer but finds himself smiling a little. He didn't really have it in him to be obnoxious about such genuine kindness. "Thank you I think?"
"It's not unusual to find the Bakusquad in a big cuddle pile so he has a lot of love to give." Shinsou chuckles. 
"Do let me know if it's too much though. I have ADHD so while it lets me keep up with what you're saying during your rants, I am not the best with social cues, and you're generally aggressive around my class anyway so seriously just let me know." Denki assures.
Multiple things suddenly click for Monoma and his eyes widen. "So I'm not going to explain what I'm apologizing for, and this is the only time I will apologize to someone from A-class, but sorry for being ableist as shit." 
Much to Monoma's surprise, Kaminari just grins. "No problem, dude. We've all got our issues. Thanks though."
Shinsou smiles slightly. "Doing good already. Now I know this is fast and it doesn't have to happen soon, but do consider how you want sex to work? I really only top, Kami loves bottoming, but you don't have to tell me or us right now." 
The color makes it across Monoma's face this time as he looks around the abandoned hallway. "Um...switch. ...I'll get back to you on the sex." 
"Wow, literally fits in perfectly." Kaminari laughs. "Hey, can I tell him what made us talk about open and poly relationships, to begin with?" He asks excitedly, grinning when Shinsou nods before looking at Monoma questioningly.
Monoma blinks but nods slowly. "Sure?"
Shinsou chuckles in a way that suddenly makes Monoma concerned, but Kaminari is already talking. "Okay, so the Bakusquad writes and draws fanfics and fanart, though I actually dabble in some original stuff and am mostly the beta reader, but anyway, one of us has this list of kinks that he finally shared with us when we convinced him to drink-"
"Wait, 3-A drinks?!" Monoma gasps.
"Really? That's what you focused on? Dude, this school doesn't even have a counselor, and we got attacked by high-ranking villains like a month into our first year and it still hasn't slowed down and will only speed up when we graduate. You were in that room with us at training camp. Can you blame us?" Denki scoffs.
Monoma winces at the memories and being so casually called out, but nods. "Fair enough...continue I guess." 
"Cool, anyway. He shared the list with us and we were all going through it and there were a few I didn't know obviously so I Boogled them, and one that caught my attention was something called cuckolding." He snickers when Monoma seems to choke on his spit. "You're familiar then. Anyway. So, we've used Shinsou's quirk before during sex, and I kinda wanna be forced to sit and watch and not even be allowed to touch myself while my boyfriend fucks the brains out of someone else. You're already really vocal and I think you'd make some really hot sounds if you're interested?" 
Monoma blinks at the info dump, suddenly glad he talks just as fast sometimes so could keep up easily, but his face is fully red now as his eyes shift to Shinsou then back to the floor. "I-uh- I'll think about it?" 
"All I ask, dude. No pressure. Anyway, if you don't want to date me, too, can I at least try to be your friend?" 
Even Monoma is finding himself weak to the complete openness of the other blonde's grin and looks to Shinsou. "How often do you actually manage to say no?"
"I'm getting better." Shinsou sighs tiredly as Denki giggles.
"Is that a yes then?" Kami hums teasingly.
"...I'll try to yell at you less I suppose." Monoma relents, sighing at the fist pump this gets from the electric boy. 
"Dope! I'll leave you two alone for now then! It's Squad night and I'm already late. Later, babe!" Denki cheers, standing on his tiptoes for a kiss before looking back to the lighter blonde. "Can I hug you, dude?" 
Monoma blinks, not expecting the whole thing to start so quickly but it somehow made sense for the energetic blonde. He wasn't quite ready to be touched yet though. "...a high five?" 
"I'll take it!" Kaminari grins, high-fiving the awkwardly offered hand before running off after another round of goodbyes. 
"I think that was the longest I've seen you be civil to one of us." Shinsou smiles softly.
"I feel like I just got spit out of a tornado," Monoma admits, staring at his slightly tingly hand and sighing when he realizes he unconsciously copied the other blonde’s quirk.
"You get used to it." Shinsou chuckles, walking closer and holding out a hand. "Would you like to go watch a movie in my room as an impromptu date? Sato has a part of the counter sectioned off for treats we're all allowed to take if you want snacks." 
Monoma blinks, cheeks flushing again but nods, taking his hand. "Yeah, sure. ...I'm a bit of a talker though." 
"I've been dating Denki since the beginning of second year. You're fine. We'll count it as getting to know each other more." Shinsou smiles, leading the still processing blonde away to the dorms. 
~~~
Within a month of being around fairly regularly, class 3-A has grown as accustomed to Monoma's personality as his own class with some of the calmer ones actually managing conversation, all managing to keep up thanks to 3 years of keeping up with Denki. 
Speaking of Denki, on a night of especially bad insecurities, Shinsou does come back from patrolling with Aizawa to find his boyfriends curled around each other as Denki runs his fingers through light blonde hair. Moving closer reveals puffy eyes and a red nose on the sleeping face, and Shinsou frowns in concern. 
"Bad night. He can tell you if he wants when he wakes up, but I promised at the very beginning that I won't say shit. I think he mostly just needed a cry and some kind words though." Denki hums, shushing lightly when the copycat whimpers in his sleep.
Shinsou nods, moving to get out of his hero gear so he can join the cuddle. "Thank you for taking care of him. You know how bad I am at that." 
Kaminari snorts, smiling fondly. "You are truly awful at it, but you try. Not a problem though, us loud blondes gotta stick together." He grins.
Shinsou smiles, disappearing momentarily to at least wash his face and brush his teeth before climbing into bed on the other side of Monoma and pulling the blondes close. "I'm glad you do." He hums before chuckling. "Speaking of loud blondes, Kirishima and Kuroiro have been side-eyeing me around Bakugou and Aoyama." 
Denki has to hold in his laugh to not wake the sleeping boy between them. "What? Do they think you're trying to collect 'em all or something?"
"Well, I am already dating a Pikachu and a Ditto so maybe," Shinsou smirks. "The funniest thing is if they think I have the social skills or energy to steal either." 
"A Pika- oh my god I hate you." Denki scoffs despite the amusement in his eyes. 
"Love you too, Sparky." Shinsou snickers, closing his eyes. "Now sleep."
~~~
"Mnmm, Shin~ too much! More! Gods, please!" Monoma practically sobs as Shinsou takes him apart. 
Between the purple-haired boy's sleepy personality but sinful smirks and teasing, Monoma had expected him to be either frustratingly gentle or completely break him. He hadn't prepared himself for this twisted combination that melted his mind and left him unable to think. 
"Come on, Mon. I haven't even put it in yet." Shinsou hums, chuckling in a way that sends electricity down the light blonde’s spine. "You're already this sensitive?" 
"Well if someone would let me cUhh-Ahhh~! Shinsou!" Any snark was cut off by whatever Shinsou just did with his tongue and fingers that left his head fuzzy and knees weak. 
"You're the one who keeps saying it's too much~" Shinsou teases, rubbing his middle and index fingers against Monoma's prostate. 
"Nahh~ Fuck! Don't listen to me then! Mnmm~just do whatever you want just please, Shin! Just let me cum already!" Monoma squirms, trying to get the angle he so desperately needs. 
A dark chuckle seals his fate. "If you insist. Just don't complain to me when your body feels like jelly tomorrow."
He does, in fact, not complain. About anything for that matter. All Shinsou can do is smirk as Monoma's classmates ask the blonde if he's okay and all he can manage is a dopey grin. 
Yeah, he's gonna be a fun one.
~~~
"So you wanna try it? For real?" Kaminari grins excitedly. 
Monoma is currently looking as awkward as when he first asked the purple-haired boy out as he shifts from foot to foot, nodding shyly. "I did some reading, and don't think I would mind…" 
"Midoriya reading or Bakusquad reading?" Shinsou asks with a teasing smirk. 
Monoma flushes, looking at the floor. "...a bit of both?" 
Shinsou just chuckles while Kami is practically vibrating with excitement. 
"This is going to be so awesome. When do you wanna try this?" Kaminari grins. 
"Friday I guess? Monoma shrugs. “Relax some after the exam?” Shinsou and Kami smirk at each other and Monoma suddenly fears for his ass. “I’m going to die aren’t I?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll like it.” Denki snickers through his grin before enveloping the other blonde in a hug. “Thank you thank you thank you!”
Monoma tenses, still not used to the over-affectionate blonde, but he is getting better at it as he slowly pats his back. “I may have been considering it more than I’d like to admit.”
He’s straight-up avoiding looking at the smirking purple-haired boy so doesn’t notice him move behind him to wrap his arms around him and whisper in his ear. “I can’t wait to hear what noises you’ll make, Mon. Though, maybe sometime this weekend in general so it’s a bit more of a surprise?”
Monoma squeaks, nodding slightly in agreeance before suddenly all contact is bokeh as the bell rings and he’s left standing there red-faced. 
“Come on, Mon.” Shinsou hums over his shoulder. “Don’t wanna be late~”
~~~
“Hey, guys! I was returning that book to Present Mic and-”
“Sit boy.”
Denki blacks out for a second as Shinsou’s voice echos through his head before he’s suddenly sitting in the beanbag in front of his door, unable to do more than squirm. “Fuck, I love when you do that.” He groans.
As he fights to gain his bearings, he finally looks up only to throw his head back with another groan. “Fuck. You two look so good.”
“Like what you see, baby?” Shinsou teases as he pulls Monoma back onto his cock by his hair so he’s still forced to look at Denki as drool forms at the corner of his mouth. “Fuck, Mon, you’re tight. Fucking milking me aren’t you?”
“Shinsou~!” Monoma moans as he tries to hide his face. “Let me come already!”
“Nope, not until I do so unless you want to give Denki a real show and-shit!” Shinsou groans as he’s reminded that Monoma is in the hero course too when he finds himself on his back with Monoma hovering above him. “How do I keep beating you in practice?!”
“You’re distracting.” Monoma shrugs as he peers down at Shinsou with one of his shit-eating grins. “Now about that show?” 
Shinsou snorts, smirking as he helps Monoma line himself up. “You were acting so shy a moment ago.”
“How-nmgmm-How else was I supposed to pull this AH! Off?” Monoma groans as he sinks down on Shinsou’s cock. 
“Little minx. I’m gonna have fun breaking you in.” Shinsou chuckles lowly as he bottoms out inside once more. “Gonna fuck that smug look right off those pretty little lips.”
“Looking forward to IIIIt! Nghnn~!” Monoma taunts as Shinsou starts moving, cutting off any snippy remark. 
“There you go. Just like that, Mon.” Shinsou smirks as he brings the squirming blonde down on his cock.
“Shiiiin~ What happened to putting on a show?” Monoma whines between trusts, clenching his hole so Shinsou’s head thumps back.
“Shit, Mon. Sorry, you feel too good.” He groans, loosening his grip to give Monoma some control. 
“Finally.” Monoma snickers, planting his hands on Shinsou’s thighs for extra leverage as he lifts himself before grinding himself back down with a groan.
“Gods, you are going to be a brat every chance you get are- AH! -aren’t you?” The purple-haired boy scoffs jokingly as he reaches up to pull Monoma down into a panting kiss that makes the blonde whine when it changed the angle just enough to grind Shinsou’s cock into his prostate. “Oh? Did we find it, baby?” He chuckles darkly.
“Why do you have to almost growl everything like this?” Monoma whimpers as he grinds himself down. “Do you want me to come before you?”
“Hmm, maybe?” If I get to keep going when you do?” He hums with a tilt of fluffy hair and a Cheshire smirk that has Monoma considering. 
“Fuck, how does he ever say no to you?” The blonde groans, outwardly acknowledging the other blonde’s existence for the first time since he opened the door. 
“He doesn’t, we just work stuff out beforehand and he uses his safe words. Which you better use too if you need.” Shinsou warns, tugging at light blonde locks in a way that had the smaller moaning earlier and still holds the desired effect. 
“ShIT!” Monoma moans, trembling a bit on his next glide up. “Yes, Si-shit- I mean Shinsou.”
“Oh? No, you were more than fine. Go on, baby. What is it you wanted to call me?” Shinsou prods with another harch tug that earns him a keening whine.
“Ah! Sir! Please~ You are pulling a line straight to my dick. Please, sir!” He ends up babbling as he shakily tries to continue riding the other.
“Fuuuck~” Shinsou groans as his head flops back in the pillow. You two are going to ruin me. Still wanna be on top?” A teary nod is all he needs before he’s grabbing pale hips once more and planting his feet to drive the lighter blonde to absolute madness.
“AHhh~! Shin! Sir! Fuck, please! Please! Please! PlEEE-AHH~!” Monoma rambles, crying out when Shinsou finds his prostate again and starts abusing it. 
Meanwhile, during all of this, Kaminari is sitting impatiently in his beanbag, squirming and whining as he fights against the hypnosis trigger keeping him from touching his leaking cock.
“Toshiiii~!”
“Hm? Do you hear something, Mon?” 
“Toshi, please!” Kami whines, desperately trying to get friction.
Shinsou glances over before focusing back on Monoma with an exaggerated sigh. “What do you think, Mon? Should he cum?” 
Monoma let his head lull back to look the other blonde over before slowly smirking. “From over there maybe?”
“Sure! Please, just let me touch myself, please!” Kaminari whimpers, trying to grind against his forearm.
“Aren’t you nice?” Shinsou chuckles, eyes rolling back to the smaller boy across the room. “You can get off, but stay over there.”
Kaminari feels like he could sob as his body releases enough to let him gather his pre to take off the edge. He doesn’t notice how Monoma leans forward to whisper in Shinsou’s ear or the smirk this spreads across his tired face in response.
He doesn’t notice until there’s some shuffling before Monoma’s calling for his attention. 
Denki finally manages to pry his teary eyes away from his own dick only to almost cum on the spot. Shinsou and Monoma had readjusted themselves so Kami now had an unrestricted view of where Shinsou’s cock disappeared into Monoma and how every brush against his prostate made the lighter blonde’s back arch beautifully.
“Guuuys~” Denki whimpers as the sight makes him fist his aching cock faster and bring himself closer to the edge. “Fuck, why are you two so gorgeous?” He doesn’t miss how color spreads down Monoma’s neck at the compliment.
“Does he always drop comments like that so easily?” Monoma mumbles, ears and neck flushing pink.
“You get used to it.” Shinsou chuckles in confirmation. “Do you really think I got like this on my o-Oh-own?”
“I- Ah~ You just always gave off this air of confidence.” Monoma whimpers with a squirm. 
An eyebrow is raised knowingly in response. “With my quirk? Same as you, I imagine.” 
“Touché.” Monoma can’t help but chuckle. “I’m guessing I have no choice in the self-love department?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get to return the favor every now and then.” Shinsou huffs, eyes showing he’s not annoyed at Kaminari but a murder plot or two has been made in the past.
Monoma frowns, remembering an obviously fake smile trying to cover teary eyes and runny eyeliner as he’s asked for a movie night when Shinsou was on patrol weeks ago. He figured some lingering anger issues are to blame when Bakugou was at his door with a Pikachu plush the next morning, refusing to make eye contact with anyone as he shoves the plush into Denki’s grateful arms. “I plan tOh! ShIN~!” Monoma cuts off with a whine. 
“Sorry, Mon. Feelings later. Let’s finish this scene for him, hm?” Shinsou prompts as he tweaks one of the blonde’s pretty pink nipples. “You still good?”
“Mnmm~ Yes, sir~” Monoma moans, trembling now as he gets close to the edge. “Close…”
“I am too, baby.” Shinsou pants, snapping his hips where he thinks the lighter blonde’s prostate is, and smirking at the moan he gets. “How's he looking back there?”
Monoma whimpers as he glances over his shoulder just in time to see Kaminari tense and cum all over his hand, chair, and floor as electric gold eyes roll back in his head and he moans loudly before falling slack, panting hard. 
He’ll unpack the way his own dick twitches and his stomach flutters at a later time he decides. 
“Beautiful.” Is what he says instead, turning scarlet when he realizes. “I- uh- I mEA~! SHIN~!” He cries out when his realization is cut off by a warm hand stroking his cock. “SHIN~ I- cu-Ah~ Cumming! I’m-”
“Come on, Mon~” Shinsou coos, suddenly much closer to the blonde's ear than he had realized. “Cum for me, sweetheart”
Monoma has no clue where the whine that rips itself from his throat comes from, but the next thing he knows, he’s cumming hard across their chests and fighting to not blackout as he screams. “SHINSOU!”
“Fuck~ Sweetheart, huh? Fuck, so good. You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart. Fuck, you’re squeezing me just right. In or out, sweetheart?” Shinsou rambles, forehead dropping to rest on a pale shoulder as he strokes Monoma through his orgasm. 
“In, Shin. Fuck, cum in my please~” Monoma whines, doing his best in his delirious state to help milk the tired boy to completion. “Please, Shin~”
There’s a low groan as Shinsou goes rigid and Monoma whimpers when hot cum spills into him. “Fuck.” Is the only gruff response he gets.
Shinsou continues fucking Monoma through their highs until he falls back and starts making grabby hands to Kaminari. “Come here, baby.”
Monoma sees movement out of the corner of his eye and watches as Denki makes his way over, washcloth from the bowl on the desk in hand as he helps with basic clean-up for the night. 
“Fuck you two. That was unfairly hot.” Kaminari groans as he finishes wiping off their chests. “Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to that, Monoma.” 
Monoma just hums, offering a squeeze to his hand as acknowledgment, too tired and embarrassed for more. 
“Am I okay to clean down there, or would you prefer you or Toshi?” 
He thinks for a second. “I can get it. …Thank you for asking.” 
“Of course!” Denki grins as he passes over the freshly dampened cloth. “Do you want this side to yourself, or can I snuggle you, too?”
Monoma looks at him in confusion now as he shyly cleans up. “It’s your room? Your bed?”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Denki shrugs, the goofy, post-orgasm grin never leaving.
“Denki, you just saw our boyfriend split me in half. Get your twink ass down here, du-dork!” Monoma huffs out in a laugh, catching himself last second after observing how the other wince when dumb related nicknames are made even jokingly. 
Kaminari either doesn’t notice or doesn’t want to unpack it right now as he returns the cloth to the bowl before koala-clinging himself to Monoma who Shinsou big spoons in return. “Yay! I don’t know if it’s from some of the quirks you have to copy but you’re really warm!” He cheers.
“Okay, I thought I was going crazy. Right?” Shinsou finally chimes in with a chuckle. “Much warmer than my poor living habits keep me.”
Monoma doesn’t know why but he feels the need to hide in the darker blonde fluff in front of him. “‘M not that warm.” He mumbles, embarrassed for some reason.
The other two chuckle, letting the topic drop as Shinsou pulls the blanket over them. “We’ll get cleaned up properly later.” He yawns.
“Yes, sir.” The sleep blondes mumble in response as they all snuggle closer to each other.
“...Damn, is this gonna be a thing now?” Shinsou snorts quietly. 
“That better be one of the Pikachus from the corner, Shinsou, I swear to the gods,” Monoma warns when he feels something rubbing against his ass. “Denki, how are you not dead? He’s insatiable.” 
Kaminari just giggles as he pulls the other blonde closer. “Don’t worry, Monoma. I’ll sacrifice myself to the horny house cat.”
“Ah, yes. Such a noble sacrifice when I’m the one who had to work up to matching your stamina.” Shinsou scoffs dryly. 
“Gods, I’m gonna die. Sleep! Both of you! Get a different room if you’re gonna go again.” Monoma huffs, burying his face in darker blonde locks.
“So much for it being my room.” Denki giggles teasingly.
“Sleep!”
“Yes, Mon!” The other two chuckle.
For all the teasing, it’s not long before they’re all asleep in a tangle of limbs and relaxed smiles on their faces.
79 notes · View notes
questforgalas · 1 year
Text
Hidden in the Moonlight
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Summary: After weeks of Brynjolf dodging the dragonborn, Lorienna, after they took down Mercer, she's ready to throw him in the cistern herself. With some pushing from Delvin, Lorienna confronts Brynjolf about why he's been avoiding her all this time
Notes: Apparently I write Skyrim fanfic now??? Meet my OC, Lorienna :) Also, writing Scottish accents is hard so I'm sorry if the dialogue spelling detracts from the story! Enjoy!!!
WC: 4k
Tags: BrynjolfxFemaleOC, Delvin, Vex, love confessions, fluff, gentle kissing, idiots not communicating
On AO3
“Sorry, lass, I’ve got important things to do. We’ll talk another time.”
It took a lot for Lorienna to lose her temper. During her short time in Skyrim, she’d been attacked by cultists, fought more dragons than she could count, was hunted down by the Thalmar, and survived a drinking game with Sam, though that last one was a close call. That’s not to mention the many guilds she stumbled upon that all oddly were in need of a leader so badly they just let the newest recruit fly through the ranks and quickly become their master, but who was she to question the rules. At least that’s what she told herself each time she was handed a hideout master-key or a centuries old set of armor with more enchantments than an arcane table.
Yet, here she was, ready to throw one flowing-haired ginger into the waters of the cistern if he brushed her off one more time. There were layers to her frustrations, of course. First off, she was the dam guild master. What in Sovngarde could be more important than talking to the guild master? Lorienna may have been new to this, but she was pretty sure that in the “Priorities of the Thieves Guild” mental-handbook, speaking with the guild master was number 1.
Second, if the distractingly rugged nord really had such important things to do, shouldn’t she, again, the GUILD MASTER, know about them? Wouldn’t that be something her second-in-command should keep her in the know about?
Third, and the one that stung more than she wanted to admi, was that she wasn’t just the guild master to the infuriatingly handsome thief. Or at least she had thought.
Yes, many members of the Thieves Guild have been victims to Brynjolf’s easy charm. There wasn’t a day that went by without a new recruit ending their first job with star-filled doe-eyes focused on the good-looking man, but Lorienna had been certain she felt the shift between Brynjolf and herself during the whole mess with Mercer.
When she wasn’t lying to herself, she could admit it started shifting well before that, well before he ran up to her in the cistern, disbelief in his eyes, relief in his voice, telling her he’d looked for her. Too lost in the moment, both of you had missed the knowing glances passed between Delvin and Vex, silently smirking at what you two didn’t know yet - that you were well beyond the safety of the shoreline of this river of emotions.
But right now? She was lying to herself as she stared daggers into Brynjolf’s broad, rippling back hugged by his Nightengale armor in the most deli…
Ok. She had it bad.
Too distracted by her warring thoughts of plunging a knife in Brynjolf’s armor to either make him bleed or to cut it off of him in offense for blocking him from her view, Lorienna didn’t notice Delvin sliding into the unoccupied chair to her left, thunking his mug onto the table. “Ya know, I don’t think actin like that mug is Brynjolf’s throat is goin to help ya at all.”
Jerking back, Kandri blinked Delvin into focus, shaking her head of the cobwebs occupying her mind. When Delvin’s words registered, she looked down, noticing ghost white knuckles strangling the tankard in hand. “I wasn’t imagining strangling anyone,” she mumbled.
“Might be more convincing if ya hadn’t been starin at his back without blinkin the past 10 minutes.”
“I was not staring.”
“Miracle he hasn’t looked over at ya, honest.”
“Can I help you Delvin? Or are you just here to archive my movements?”
A chuckle shook the guild-veteran’s shoulders. “Just wonderin when ya’re gonna talk to him, boss.”
“Who? Brynjolf? There’s nothing to talk about. He’s obviously content with moving onto the next chapter with no regard of who he’s leaving behind in the pages.” Lorienna wanted her statement to drip with venom, leave no question for the disdain she was obviously feeling, but Delvin caught the melancholy lilt sucking all the poison out of her words and replacing it with an ache only the hear knew.
“Listen, boss, I ain’t here to tell ya what to do. But, well, listen, I’mma be blunt. Ya’re walkin around here like a kicked puppy, and it’s obvious to err’one why. Well, maybe not err’one, hence why ya’re mopin around…”
“I am not moping...”
“Ya’re. And it’s pathetic. Ya’re lucky I’m givin ya this talk and not Vex, she’s been wantin to throw a dagger at ya the past two days.”
“I don’t know how a dagger wound is going to help anything…”
“It’s Vex. Probably best not to question it, yeah? Either way, either ya talk to him or we lock ya both in the vault.” While Delvin spoke, their subject of conversation rose from his seat, emptying his tankard with a long gulp, setting it down on the table for Vekel to clean, and made his way out of the flagon to the cistern.
Lorienna didn’t realize she’d been watching Brynjolf’s every move like her eyes worked completely on their own agenda until Delvin jabbed her in the side, causing a startled yelp and an arm to flail, knocking the wooden plate in front of her to the floor. The clatter only interrupted the Ragged Flagon’s din for a beat, everyone going back to their conversations once they were satisfied with what could’ve caused their leader to cause such a ruckus.  
Rubbing the fresh bruise, Kandri pointed a daggered look at the man now becoming a quite literal pain-in-her-side. “Why do you care so much? What’s in it for you?”
“Figure it’s best for err’one to have our two leaders be happy. Not gonna be verr’ good with both ya actin like draugr around here. Morale and all that. Not to mention Brynjolf’s been messin’ up job details, so that’s not helpful.”
Kandri took a beat at that last bit. Brynjolf messing up jobs? She’s never heard of him missing a speck of dust on the vault door, let alone pass along faulty job information. This guild was new to her, but it was Brynjolf’s family, and he knew better than anyone that bad information meant risking a member of that family. He’d rather cross Maven Blackbriar himself than risk sending any thief on a half-assed job.
“What’re you getting at Delvin?”
With uncharacteristic softness, Delvin met Lorienna’s gaze, “Ya both deserve happiness, boss. And right now? Ya’re both wading through each day like Sovngarde’s already takin’ ya. Bryn’s too blind to see his own feet, so he’s probably got no idea. But just talk to him. It’ll be alright, ya ‘ll see.”
He gave a comforting squeeze to her hand and downed the rest of his ale before moving over to join Vex and Dirge in their game of cards at the next table. Vex caught Lorienna’s eyes over Delvin’s shoulder, giving a knowing smirk, and coked her head in the direction of the cistern.
The guild master let her head fall back, eyes closing, as a small groan escaped her lips. “Sovngarde take me. These bunch of idiots are going to be the death of me.” Pinching her nose, she took one last deep breath as she steeled herself and finally pushed from her seat.
To her surprise though, the cistern was mostly empty, many members still in the Flagon given the early hour. Steady “thunk” “thunk” thunk”s told her someone was by the archery dummies, and she wandered in the direction of the sound, fingers crossed that she’d catch Brynjolf practicing archery for the first time in their friendship, but Stendarr wasn’t on her side today as Rune came into view.
Seeing the guild master approach, Rune loosed one more arrow, satisfying “thunk” meeting their ears, and lowered the bow as he turned to greet her.
“Lorienna, what can I do for you?”
“Hi Rune. Any chance Brynjolf came through here earlier?” Lorienna hated the sheepish tone of her voice and was praying that her cheeks weren’t an telling shade of crimson while she spoke. Either Rune had the soul of an angel or he was none-the-wiser to her plight because his face never changed as he kept his attention on her.
“You just missed him. Exited out the entrance just a minute ago.”
“Outside? To the town?”
“Yup.”
“Huh, ok. Thanks Rune. And keep up that practice, your shooting is already greatly improved.” Now it was Rune’s turn to blush as a shy smile crept on his face. Easing his suffering, Lorienna brushed past him, giving a pat to his shoulder as she did. Moments later, the crisp night air of the Rift touched her face while the stone door ground behind her.
This was Lorienna’s favorite hour to wander the city. Not many found Riften beautiful, with it often considered the underside of Skyrim, but Lorienna found the opposite to be true, relishing in the beauty that hid beneath the cracks and creaks of the fishing port. The surrounding mountains kept the air cool, even in the summer months, while the steady water below them offered a mask of tranquility to a city that lived in bedtime stories to keep naughty children at bay. During the day, the sun reflected off the mountain snow, bringing out the colors of the foliage as if they were freshly painted on the branches. And at night? Oh, the night in Riften was magic.
Running water replaces the bustle of the market, crafting a spell of calm to all who wandered the streets, making their way to the Bee and Barb or to rest their weary heads. The moon casts a shimmering blanket on top of the water, stars appearing in the air, reflecting off the windows and lamps as you passed by. You could feel completely alone and surrounded at the same time. It was Lorienna’s happy place.
When she started rising through the guild ranks, duties piling up and stress multiplying with each new member, Lorienna would escape their underground home to the quiet streets of the city above, basking in the moonlight on top of the temple roof. It wasn’t surprising when Brynjolf started following her there, attempting but failing to hide the worry in his eyes as he claimed he just happened to be scouting the area when he caught site of her up there. She didn’t bother pointing out that scouting the area he knew like the back of his hand when sleeping didn’t make much sense; instead letting him ease down next to her, always settling into comfortable silence.
That rooftop, in the spotlight of the moon, became their hideaway. So she knew exactly where her instincts were pulling her as she turned from the Thieves Guild entrance and looked up, finding him right where she knew he’d be. At first, it appeared as if he didn’t notice her standing just before him on the ground, but then she saw the slight tilt down of his forehead. “Should’ve known ya’d find me here.”
Oh, how she missed that voice.
Her usual route to the roof was imprinted in her brain, and she was approaching their spot in less than a minute, but as she walked closer, she felt her steps get smaller. Just steps away from him, back still facing her, she paused.
Weeks. It had been weeks of hearing his sorry excuses. Of hearing him brush her off over and over again. Of watching her best friend move on without her. One more exchange and she was going to break. But standing here, preparing to confront him, her heart was in her throat. Every doubt, every fear, every reason for her to turn around and run bombarded her brain as she stood frozen, feet unwilling to take the final steps, because she knew. She knew once she started the conversation, there was no going back. To before. To their easiness. To their companionship. Was this worth risking all of that?
Brynjolf didn’t even bother to turn around to interrupt her spiraling mind. “Just sit down, lass. I can hear ya’r thoughts all the way over here.”
That voice. That voice was a balm on her soul when she returned from a job, weary, exhausted, ready to collapse. That voice was her guiding light as they confronted Mercer. That voice was just one part of a man who plucked her off the streets and became her home. Lorienna closed her eyes, taking one more steadying breath.
Much to her chagrin, the descent onto the rooftop was more of a “plop”, foot slipping on moss slick with the day’s rain, and the “oomf” she let out didn’t go unnoticed. Shoulders shaking, Brynjolf didn’t bother trying to hide his chuckle while Lorienna got herself situated, rubbing her arse in an attempt to ease the pain. Leaning on an arm for leverage, her shoulder brushed his, and Brynjolf turned his head at the contact. For the first time in weeks, since they took down Mercer together, Lorienna and Brynjolf held each other’s gaze.
Familiarity settled in her chest before unease and fear gripped her heart. She swore she caught a glint of sadness in Brynjolf’s brown eyes before he turned away again, focusing his attention on the mountains over the wall. Well, it was now or never.
“Where’ve you been, Bryn?” Lorienna asked him, eyes never leaving his face.
“Only been here a minute before you got here, lass.” He answered.
“That’s not what I mean. I mean the last few weeks, since Mercer.”
“I told ya, lass. I had important thin…”
“Brynjolf. Talos help you if you say you had important things to do. I am the guild master. Master of the Thieves Guild. Top of the top. What in Sovngarde could have been more important than talking to me? Especially if you were doing ‘important things’ for the guild! Please enlighten me because I have been losing my mind the last few week!”
Lorienna’s gaze never faltered, staying focused on Brynjolf’s temple since his gaze on the mountains seemed as determined as hers. For a few beats, he remained frozen, not even a twitch of his jaw to be seen. It took every ounce of Lorienna’s will to remain patient, letting him sort through what was flickering through his mind, instead focusing on calming her pounding heart.
Agonizing seconds passed before he closed his eyes, letting loose a sigh she felt in her own bones, and turned to face her. His eyes met hers. Brown eyes that could flash with mischief and then compassion and then steel determination in the span of a second. Eyes that always held a softness for his family in the guild, and a softness that grew a little more noticeable only when he looked upon one particular member. Eyes as deep as the treasure troves of Skyrim that Lorienna loved to get lost in.
Hope bloomed as she watched the sadness in his gaze transform to fondness, holding her breath as he seemed to settle on whatever thought he’d been arguing with.
“Lorienna, lass, I’m sorry. I – I wasn’t truthful over the last couplah weeks.”
“No shit.” Brynjolf tilted his head, rolling his eyes at Lorienna’s lack of decorum, giving her a bored look as if to ask if she was done.
“Ok, ok. I’ll behave now,” she relented.
“Aye, I like it better when you don’t.” The mischievous glint in his eye left as soon as it appeared, somber softness settling in again. “It’s a sorry excuse, and an ever sorrier way to go about it, but I was scared. That whole mess with Mercer, I thought I was ready to handle it, to come out of it same as before, but I was only foolin myself.”
He returned his gaze to the mountains beyond, resting an arm on top of one bent knee, the other placed behind him on the roof to keep himself upright. Sitting patiently beside him, Lorienna listened as he put his thoughts forward.
“I knew it well before too. When ya came back from Goldenglow, eyes shinin brighter than any emerald, bouncin on the balls of your feet with adrenaline. Mara herself could’ve descended, and I wouldn’t’ve questioned why. But I lied to myself. Tucked that feelin down and buried it, tellin myself you were a new recruit, probably not gonna make it the month. Can’t get attached now. Yet, insufferably determined lass you are, ya kept comin back. Nose down, gettin jobs done. Gradually takin in my family like they were ya’r own. Slowly, a kernel of worry would always form when ya left for jobs. ‘Ya worry for everyone, don’t overthink it,’ I’d tell myself.
Then the kernel would stay, plantin itself as soon as I’d watch ya leave the cistern, and not makin itself scarce until my eyes were on ya again. Didn’t take long until I’d ask Delvin or Vex where they sent ya off to. Thought I was bein subtle, but they know me too well. Wanted to punch Delvin right in his smirkin mouth every time it popped up.
But I am nothin but a man of my word so I kept tryin to bury it, kept tryin to lie to myself. Thought I was goin crazy when givin ya your next job was my favorite part of the day simply because it meant I’d get to talk to ya.”
Lorienna’s cheeks were flaming as she listened, nuzzling her face in her knees in an attempt to hide the affects his words had on her. Never in her life could she fight the smile that was taking over her face, basking in the moonlight, listening to Brynjolf’s confession.
It seemed that this next part wasn’t coming to Brynjolf so easily though. Pausing, he shifted his gaze to the shingles underneath them, scratching at the wood like it was the most important thing for him to do in that moment. Just as Lorienna opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, he planted his hand flat on the roof as if grounding himself and continued.
“Then Mercer sent ya after Karliah. As I watched ya walk out of the cistern, my instincts were yellin at me. ‘Tell her, tell her. You’re in love with her ya fool, tell her.’ Like they knew something was goin wrong. But the fool that I am, I stood there, feelin that seed of worry take its usual place. Weeks went by. Somethin started to nag at me. I’d look at the entrance to the cistern everyday, pleading with it to open and ya’d walk back in. Finally, Mercer returned, alone. As he approached me, my mind was screamin. Every fiber of my bein kickin at me that this wasn’t real, that this was a trick. Ya were right behind, comin in any second. It all went silent when he told me ya were dead.”
At last, Brynjolf lifted his head, brown eyes meeting Lorienna’s green. Small tears began to form in the corners, and she allowed herself to reach out, wiping one away before it fell to his cheek. For a moment, her hand lingered there, her palm lightly scratched by his stubble, relishing in being in front of him and not a corpse left in the snow.
“I acted on pure will and muscle memory, grabbin my gear and equipment I needed. I didn’t hesitate, immediately makin my way to Snow Veil. Nothing would’ve stopped me. I dared any imperial or stormcloak to get in my way, blocking my path to ya. It wouldn’t’ve ended well for ‘em. By the time I got there though, ya were gone, and there weren’t any tracks for me to follow. It was a dead end, nothin to tell me what Mercer said wasn’t true. Nothin to wake me from the living nightmare I was trapped in. As I trudged back, I grieved. Grieved the love I had been too stubborn to accept. Grieved the fiery dragon who burned her way into my life. Grieved the thief who was the sole owner of my heart.”
Lorienna knew this story, but this was the first time she heard the depths of Brynjolf’s pain. Heard the crack in his voice as he relived that grief. For a brief second, in the back of her mind, she cursed her inadequacy with necromancy not letting her bring Mercer back from the dead just so she could kill him over and over again for eternity.
A hand found its way onto Lorienna’s check. One she nuzzled into, eyes closed, humming at the contact. Brynjolf’s thumb gently stroked back and forth, coaxing her to meet his gaze. “I hadn’t realized my world had stopped until ya walked into the Flagon weeks later, casting my life in ya’r fiery glow once again.  Mercer’s plot be damned, I wanted to grab ya right there and hold onto ya until the divines separated us. Durin that whole ordeal, swearin to Nightengale, takin down Mercer, restorin Karliah, I swore to myself I’d tell ya as soon as we were back. I couldn’t go another day without ya knowin how I felt. And then we got home, and well, I ran.
Not literally, of course, but any time I dredged up the courage to talk to ya, I’d look in these gorgeous green eyes with the ability to make my brain stop, and I’d get scared. What if ya didn’t feel the same? What if I read everything wrong? Could I date the Guild Master? Was that even allowed? Would the other members reject it? Every cowardly question would roar in my head until it was all I heard, and I’d run. Throwin that half-arsed excuse at ya every time ya approached me. I’m honestly impressed ya hadn’t punched me right in the mouth.”
Lorienna rolled her eyes. “You were one more excuse from getting thrown into the cistern.”
That earned her a hearty laugh that she found contagious, the tension built upon for weeks dissipating into the Rift night air. There on their little hideaway, laughing like schoolchildren, Brynjolf and Lorienna took each other in for the first time not as guild members, not as friends, but as the sole protectors of each other’s most precious possession.
Brynjolf moved the hand resting on Lorienna’s cheek to snake his arm around her waist, tucking her into his side. As she went to nestle her head in the crook of his neck, he stopped her with a gentle tap to her chin. Tilting up, she blinked up at him, catching him glance down at her lips before meeting her eyes again and closing the space between them. A ghost of a kiss touched her lips, one that had her angling her neck to deepen it, chasing whatever she could. So gently she barely registered the movement, Brynjolf moved away, looking at her like she was the greatest treasure he’d ever beheld.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a right arse, lass, but I promise ya. I’d fight every divine if it meant havin ya by my side. No one is takin ya from me again. I’m honored to be your second-in-command, rebuilding a life for our cozy, little family, but if ya ’ll have me, it’d be my greatest honor to be your partner.”
“Until my dying breath, Brynjolf, you and I will go through this life together, no matter what the divines have in store for us.”
Conveying the conviction in her words, Lorienna leaned up to seal her oath with a kiss, one that Brynjolf returned eagerly, trying to deliver every promise he could offer to her through such a simple act. Breaking apart, they rested their foreheads, trying to imprint this moment in their memories to hold onto for eternity.
Hearts settled, Brynjolf moved to make room for Lorienna in the crook of his neck, resting his cheeck atop her head, his thumb tracing small circles along her hip. Together, they took in the view in front of them – snow-capped mountains glistening with the stars in the moonlight, gentle waters lapping underneath the city, and the cemetery below cast in silver light, a single moonbeam shining on the hidden entrance to their family.
Was this worth risking their before? Lorienna could feel the answer wash over her as if the divines themselves were handing over their blessings.
Because he was hers and she was his, and even when they find themselves separated in the darkness, they would always find their way back home. Back to each other.
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mirastudiesphysics · 10 months
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Hi! I'm someone who's never been able to study in anything close to the traditional sense, and I was just curious what sort of the appeal of running a study blog is to you. It's so far from how I process things that I just cannot tool together how or why, so I figured I'd ask! Like, does it help you steel yourself against your tasks? Is it a sense of community with other people? Something else? Thanks!
This is such a fun ask, because it's something I'm still trying to solidify for myself, so I might ramble a bit. I have a lot of little reasons for having this blog, and many of them I discovered after I had it for some time.
I originally made this blog during the height of the pandemic. It was an especially isolating time (as I'm sure everyone knows), since I was just getting into the physics community within my undergrad, and I really wanted/needed interaction with other students, even in an online space. What I was looking for exactly is hard to say. Maybe it was accountability, inspiration, motivation. I think I mostly wanted to know that I wasn't alone.
A big part of it for me is outreach into the general studyblr community. It's very hard to find other physics phds doing these kinds of blogs, and I like being open about what grad school is like for those thinking about it. I vent about the bad parts, and I celebrate the good things, too. I've learned a lot from my experiences, and will continue to do so. I'd rather share those lessons and let people decide if it resonates with them.
I think the hardest part I come across is experimenting with how I can use this blog to help me be productive. I tried doing a few posts of small, recent accomplishments so I had some record of making progress, but tumblr is tumblr and tagging doesn't do much for organizing anything. I might still try doing that, but keeping my own copy for personal use, and posting here so people can see what a grad student does on smaller scales.
One thing I'm thinking of doing is writing up summaries of different topics, because I find that those are helpful for my own understanding, and if I write it I may as well share it (something akin to the style of @anarcho-physicist, who has some fun posts of soft condensed matter, even if it's not in my wheel house). My only hesitation with that is if my understanding is wrong, I'd rather not post that and mislead people (and I don't think tumblr is the place to write up any math).
Anyways, I hope I've answered your question somewhat. I feel that I haven't answered it for myself yet, but the experimentation will continue, because I'm curious to see where it goes.
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