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#me: it has no effect on the pain if i take it in smaller more frequent doses. i am happy to take it more often but then i need something
galedekarios · 7 months
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seeing a post that basically confirmed the obvious disparity in content made me think more about a scene i would have liked to see with gale and that i've been thinking about for a while now.
i always felt a bit sad that his condition is so often treated as a joke by the fandom and to a lesser extent by the game itself. i always thought that this is partially down to the fact that we don't truly get so see gale actively be in pain due to his condition, other than brief glimpses and hints:
we do hear the urgency in his voice when he explains when and why he needs an artefact and the relief in his voice when the protag chooses to help him.
we see it, too, when he is afflicted by the arcane hunger condition:
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we get glimpses of it when he consumes an artefact:
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he mentions it, too, in his dialogues, but it's very much downplayed by gale or phrased in such a way that is meant to overplay it with humour, or perhaps even to distance himself from it by using metaphors:
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that is until we actually get to see it through his eyes, if only for the briefest of moments:
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*Its teeth, its claws, it's unstoppable as it digs through and becomes part of you. And gods, it is ever-hungry...*
gale also has an idle animation where he--quite often--reaches up to touch the orb, perhaps because it flares with pain, like an old wound is wont to do:
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(gif by @bladeofavernus)
from the last conversation we have with gale, and after catching all of these little moments of things he says or does with how the orb affects him, we learn that consuming the magic from artefacts no longer has any effect at all. the only solution that tara and he were able to find no longer works:
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it would scare him and imbalance him, and it would finally destabilise the orb, make it more volatile.
but what happens in the game after that? the orb becoming volatile enough for the artefacts to no longer have an effect has no consequences at all: you are able to do the tiefling party, all quests in the underdark, the entirety of the grymforge, and, should you choose to do so, the entirety of the mountain pass and rosymorn monastery without an incident at all or any mention of the condition itself/any discomfort or fear it might cause.
there's no urgency here, no follow-up, to what the narrative set up... and then we meet deus ex elminster and the orb is stabilised, and the urgency that came before literally is handwaved out of existence.
what i would have liked instead to happen--or at least to bridge the gap between the artefacts no longer working and elminster stabilising it to be used on mystra's behalf--is the following:
i think it would have been nice to have a scene with gale where we do get to see--on a much smaller scale--him losing control over the orb, have the protag and the companions see what he is trying desperately to keep contained within himself, what gnaws at him, what continues to haunt him.
it could happen perhaps after a particular gruelling and intense fight--and there are enough of that in the underdark and at the mountain pass. it could have been a ! conversation, providing both friendship and romance content.
have the orb act up after expending so much energy to manipulate the weave to the fullest of his abilities, have gale manage to reign it in, but barely, show that it takes a lot of power and effort for him to do so.
that it hurts, with none of gale's metaphors to hide behind or jokes to play it off.
have the audience truly see the gravity of what he is going through.
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genderqueerdykes · 3 months
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is there anything that has happened since starting T that you didn't expect to happen? or that you feel you were not adequately informed about (by doctors, peers, etc), and that really should be more common knowledge?
that's such a great question, thank you for asking! that's a huge yes from me! here's what i experienced that i was definitely caught off guard by and not warned about that presented some challenges:
I was not told that because my body is changing, growing, and adjusting to a new balance in my endocrine system that i would be very exhausted for quite a while. i already have chronic fatigue but i basically struggled to get out of bed for about 2 weeks after starting T- i wasn't depressed, i was just exhausted. this is due to the fact that my muscles were becoming denser and rearranging themselves, my facial and body structure were changing, i was growing more hair, etc. that takes a lot of energy!
Similarly to the point above, no one told me that it would make you hungry as hell, and require you to eat a lot more. if you feel like you're "over eating" after just starting testosterone, you're probably not- your base caloric intake needs to increase because you are literally growing and changing, and also, high testosterone bodies tend to need more calories anyways
Body hair growth is ITCHY!!!! and sometimes even painful! growing hair in sensitive areas like your armpits, crotch and ass can be extremely uncomfortable if not painful at times. I've heard from even cis men who have told me that growing their ass hair was extremely painful and uncomfortable due to how that area is configured- if you find that hair growth is uncomfortable this is pretty normal, but always seek help if it becomes unbearable or you feel there are ingrown hairs. Also nose hair and ear hair become more of a thing, now
Testosterone will thicken your vocal cords and drop your voice, but you also have to teach yourself how to speak from your chest, or how to drop your voice to sit in a lower range naturally or else you will still sound pretty similar to your pre-transition voice, unless that is your goal. The effects are very strong, but many transmascs*, trans folk* etc. don't see as much change as they would if they also trained their voice at the same time while it's dropping
Your boobs will become flatter and sometimes smaller and a lot saggier. This is normal!
Whenever i re-start testosterone and when i started it for the first time, i had some pretty heavy menstrual periods for a while; sometimes your body reacts in the opposite way at first before totally stopping your periods altogether. it's almost like "rebound" symptom, if you know what that mean
Restless energy will very much become a thing, if you notice you're starting to get pissed off and can't place a finger on why you feel agitated and like you're going to explode, you might just need to do some physical activity for a while
that's all i could think of for now, but if i think of anything else, i'll be sure to add it to this post! thanks for asking, i hope this was informational! good luck out there in your journey!
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jazzyoranges · 5 months
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Recognizeable
Wednesday Addams x fem!shapeshifter!reader
Summary: based on this ask!
Words: 1.4k
A/n: this kinda doesn’t have a plot 😭 whoopsies
Warnings: blood, wounds, i swear it’s not angsty R just takes a small tumble lol
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“Did it hurt?”
“What, when I fell from heaven?” You crack a smile at your very hilarious joke, but Wednesday does her version of a huff and an eye-roll
“Apologies, I should have elaborated better.” You wince a little in pain as Wednesday disinfects the open wound on your knee and the smaller cuts around your body
The Addams girl was taking Thing and her pet bird, aka you, for a walk outside Nevermore in the forest that surrounded the academy as she watched you loop around in circles. She’d assume you were training for some competition if she didn’t know your personality enough, but Wednesday ultimately came to the conclusion you just had the bird equivalent of zoomies
You squawked at other birds as you passed them by in their trees, and Wednesday made a mental note to ask you if you could actually talk and understand them. Her hypothesis was that you couldn’t and you were just making animal noises for your own amusement
Either her hypothesis was true and you had no idea what you said, or you knowingly called a bird a slur. The previous was probably true due to the horrified expression on your face as a murder of crows you were “talking” to started chasing you down. You must’ve squawked something real bad for all of them to come after you.
You miss the smirk Wednesday has on her face.
The crows must’ve overwhelmed you pretty bad, because next thing she knew you were hitting every single branch of a tree in human form. Was that intentional? She’d have to ask you about it later. After she made sure you weren’t dead, of course
Wednesday arrived just in time for you to almost slam straight into her head, but a simple side step caused you to eat shit instead. There was a very noticeable and loud thump when your head hit a tree root. Wednesday would’ve been more concerned if you didn’t immediately curl into the fetal position, mumbling about how you’d take a nap right then and there
Either shapeshifters were gods, or you just had a really fucking thick skull. Wednesday internally smiled at the thought.
The Addams girl was well aware of the smelling salts in her backpack for times like these, but she looked at Thing for what he wanted to do to get you up. You could wait… probably.
After some inspection, Thing decided it was best to call Enid to carry you back to their dorm. The wound on your knee would only make you limp and cause more pain.
Wednesday made sure to keep you alive, though. She poked you with a stick here and there and gave you reassurance, which she saw you smile at.
You were prone to accidents. Both of the Addams knew you were fine. Truly, it was just another Tuesday. Wake up, go to class, take girlfriend and Thing on a walk, you break a bone, it was all a part of the schedule
It wasn’t even a shapeshifter thing either, you just refused to die. Which the Addams was ultimately grateful for, but your ability to visit death like a close friend had Wednesday just a little jealous
A groan of pain from the back of your throat brings the shorter girl back to the present
“Why did you turn human in the middle of the sky?”
“Whenever I shift I have to really concentrate on it the entire time, so I guess those crows just really fucked me up and messed with my focus” You sigh
“Is it hard? To keep concentration, I mean.” Wednesday starts to wrap the bigger wound on your knee with a bandage wrap
“I’ve been doing it forever, so it’s kinda easy. Not when you’re getting jumped by crows, though…”
“Could you not just shift a pair of wings for yourself?”
“I was already focusing on having the thick skull of a ram.” You knock on your head for effect. “How do you think I haven’t died yet?”
Oh so it was a shapeshifter thing. She was right about your thick skull, though
“Perhaps you should tell Enid that,” Wednesday gets up from her kneeling position in front of you. “She almost fainted carrying you on the way here and I have reason to believe it isn’t because you’re heavy.”
“Maybe I should get her something as compensation…” You mumble to yourself as Wednesday helps you out of the bathroom, using her as a crutch so you can flop onto her bed
The Addams girl sits beside you, your face buried in her sheets. Both of you fall into a comfortable silence as Wednesday continues to stare at you, her mind coming up with endless questions about your abilities.
If concentration was a constant concern, was Wednesday not giving you not enough credit? To focus on multiple tasks at once, surely it was hard for someone as air-headed as you. But then again, you have been doing this for your entire life. Did your concentration come as easy as breathing? Was it so natural you barely noticed it?
And surely the process hurt, right? Your molecules were repositioning themselves to fit the look of an entirely different being. What was there a difference between you and Weems?
What were your limitations? Wednesday would like to test them. Maybe if she’d ask kindly enough you’d-
“Ask your questions, Wens” You mumble into her soft bedsheets, your voice snapping Wednesday out of her thoughts
“Pardon?”
“We’re girlfriends. You can read my mind as much as I can read yours”
“And your logical explanation for that, is..?”
“Girlfriend magic.” You hold up your hands while shaking them, and Wednesday immediately recognizes the jazz hands you had quite an addiction to
“Another day, it’s best you rest.”
This makes you turn your head to look at Wednesday, a smile threatening to take over your face
“I don’t understand why people don’t believe me when I say you’re the romantic one” You gush
“Unless you want me to bombard you with questions until morning rises, I’d suggest you stay quiet.”
“Yes ma’am” You pull down Wednesday on her bed, shoving your face into the shorter girls collar.
From that day forward Wednesday asks you one question a day about your abilities, and you make sure to answer them as best as you can. It was something Wednesday appreciated about you.
Answers would span from 15 minutes to almost 2 hours long. There were some days you had to pull out the whiteboard that was collecting dust in the bee shed, writing and drawing out key information
At first it was casual, it really was. But a month later it was almost like class with how the Addams had a book and a half filled with information about you. A class Wednesday could actually get behind.
She’s learned every shapeshifter is different. Some turn into people, some turn into animals, and others can turn into both. So the book and a half was really just information about you, which Wednesday wasn’t exactly opposed to
Meditation seemed to be a pretty big thing to you. Whenever Wednesday was writing, you’d be meditating. At first the Addams questioned if you were compatible being in a room with her loud typewriter, but you insisted the noise was necessary for you to tune out
Another thing Wednesday learned is that you couldn’t exceed four limbs. Which, you made sure to voice your opinion on. The dreams of being a four-legged and two-winged western dragon was impossible, so unfortunately you’d have to make your peace with being a wyvern instead
Small snores came from you curled around Wednesday under a tree as a tiger. She could only focus on how you always somehow resembled your human face
Turning to a new page of her journal, the Addams girl starts to sketch the face of your tiger next to the one of your lion. No matter what form you’d take, Wednesday would be able to recognize it.
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2018-01-20 · 4 months
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hiii i heard you wanted some requests 👀 and I'm super glad you're back !! I missed you a lot lot <3
My head has been so full of post-dinner date Gojo ideas. The domesticity of getting unready with him and cuddling in bed right afterward. It's just so simple but so cute. oh oh and doing nighttime skincare with him :( having him sit down and rubbing in the different creams into his skin and the way he would lead into your hands. ahhh he has me so weak (_ _)
Feel free to use any of these ideas to write or take inspo from if you want! Gojo is such a cutie :3
Anyways, have a lovely day, and remember to take care of yourself!!
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pairing. gojo satoru × gn!reader
content. bunch of fluff + comfort, reader has smaller hands than gojo (in case that bothers anyone!!) & sits on his lap, sappy reader + gojo!! read slowly for maximum enjoyment <3
sticky-note. nonnie u are so goated for this idea, i think this might be my fav gojo fic so far 😭 I MISSED U MORE!! hope u have a wonderful day and thank u for sending this in 🫶
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satoru thinks your hands are pretty.
they’re smaller than his—of course they are. he can’t think of a single person who has bigger hands than him. he enjoys it, though. your touch is stimulating in a way; fingertips completely gentle as you rub the latest lotion that you bought onto his face.
“can’t keep your hands off of me, huh?” he leans back and grins, but you can’t even be annoyed by his teasing. there's a shine in his eyes that you haven’t seen a very long time—and you are more than happy to see it now.
“mhm,” you hum, softly kneading his cheeks like you would with a baby. his blindfold is off and his demeanor seems so relaxed, his face basking into your soothing touch. it’s hard to hold back your own smile. “you just have that type of charming effect, y’know?”
“you’re being awfully nice today,” he remarks suspiciously, peeking an eye open to look closely at you. you pinch his cheek in return. “what’s the occasion baby?”
you roll your eyes, pulling back your hand for a moment to scoop up a bit more lotion. you swipe it lightly onto his forehead. “what? i can’t give you attention? can’t i spoil my boyfriend for once?”
the tips of his ears redden at your words, making you giggle at the rare but pleasant sight. “....i mean, you can, but—”
“shh,” you shush him. he closes his mouth instantly. “no more talking! this is the most important part because i have to smooth out all the wrinkles in your forehead.”
he lets out a big gasp, being playfully offended—narrowing his eyes with an indignant look. the smile you didn't even know you were sporting grows wider at how cute he is. you wouldn't say it that out loud though, of course.
it is so beautifully quiet and peaceful. you can’t think of the last time you spent time with satoru like this: seated on the living room floor of his apartment as you slap your whole skincare routine onto his face. his back is against the couch with his legs sprawled out, but not too sprawled out so you are more than comfortable on his lap. it’s nighttime so the curtains are draped over the window, but you love the warm, dim lighting of his living room. gojo satoru is gorgeous, but is especially pretty in this lighting; with his head comfortably tilted back and eyes closed, but not forcefully or harshly shut as if he’s in pain.
for the longest time, you've been used to seeing satoru in pain. not in a physical way—but in an emotional and mental way that tugs at your heart strings just seeing him in that state. you know the burden that comes with being the strongest: there will always be a significant power divide between you and the people you love, which will never not be difficult for the other party to ignore. it also doesn’t help that he is so happy-go-lucky all the time, despite the jujutsu sorcerer duties that keeps piling rocks onto his shoulders.
but now in this moment, he is all yours. he isn’t the strongest, nor is he Gojo Satoru. he is just yours—just the lover boy who melts into your open arms whenever given the chance. just a boy who had to give up being a boy so he could be a man for others to look up to him. just someone you would want to depend on you, the same way you lovingly depend on him.
“i love you,” you suddenly whisper, in the midst of just simply applying lotion onto his skin. your slow, comforting movements make him want to fall asleep, but your words make him wide awake.
“out of the blue?” his head shoots up, eyes wide and visible despite being behind his messy bangs. he sits up and stares at you, the same glimmer back in his eyes. “i mean, i’m not complaining—”
you interrupt with a huff, “i say it everyday, jerk.” you place your hands on his chest to wipe away any of the lotion moisture left on your palms. he doesn’t bat a single eye. “what do you mean ‘out of the blue’?”
“i know, but...”
your jaw drops a bit. you actually cannot believe your eyes as satoru tilts his head a bit to the side, shyly averting his eyes as you see a tint of scarlet on his cheeks. “it just feels so intimate right now, so...”
good lord. you want to baby him so bad. you want to shrink him and keep him in your pocket and always protect him wherever you go.
“you’re too cute for my well-being,” you breathe, going back on your earlier words. “you know i always mean it when i say i love you, ‘toru.”
“stop,” he whines. he raises an arm to cover his face, eyes still unable to look at yours. “don’t compliment me. i don’t think i’ll be able to handle it right now.”
you can’t help but laugh, squeaking in surprise when satoru pokes at your sides with a little pout. you want to tease him, you think. you might as well with a smile permanently on your face now.
these are the type of moments you crave: moments when satoru tears down his walls and lets himself act like he’s a little boy all over again in front of you. it’s not like he necessarily had walls up with you in the first place, but being a jujutsu sorcerer has always meant protecting and guarding yourself at all times no matter the cost.
but now, you have him. and he has you in his arms, the one that sneak around your waist and warmly wrap around you to keep you close to his chest. it's cuddly but protective, both of your laughs drowning out any other background sounds.
and you are more than willing to protect him yourself.
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promptsbytaurie · 5 months
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anything with wing clipping. i once tried to do research on it for a fic and,, it is SO angsty
i got u fam <333 (i have way too much brainrot on this bear with me LMAO)
tips for writing ✨wingfics✨
!!please credit/tag me if you use this!! i'd love to see what you write!!
physical differences:
area where wings connect to their back is insanely sensitive!!
feathers falling e v e r y w h e r e
wings are big!! if the wearer hasn't had them for long, or is younger/inexperienced, they're gonna knock shit over
~birb noises~
they're actually really good singers with insane lung capacity, a lot of them are/could be opera singers
thin bones, so they're super light and even though most think it's embarrassing to be picked up so easily there's always One Dude who's like 'carry me everywhere'
smaller birds = smaller people. most wings correspond to a specific species, and hummingbird varieties are notoriously short (though never say that to their face, they will probably murder you <3)
unless the avian is a kind of waterbird (penguins, sometimes eagles) going into water will clog their wings and they could drown!! adding onto this i imagine that avians have special bathtubs and brushes and stuff so that they can properly clean their wings
on the flip side if an avian does NOT clean their wings they can get tangled or matted which a) is super painful b) could impact their flying and c) could cause sickness !!
dislocated wings >:(( this happens about as often as dislocated shoulders do with regular people. this can be caused by a couple things like blunt force, trying to manuever/twist wings in ways they aren't supposed to go, or flying too often/straining wings.
psychological differences:
preening!! it's intimate, but doesn't have to be romantic/sexual. obv there is room for very fluffy and romantic moments but it can be either way
flock!!! it's kinda like a family or a pack
the urge to Make a Nest and Only Let the Flock In
once the Flock is In the Nest then the Flock Will Not Leave Ever
molting!! old feathers fall out to allow new ones to grow in !
molting is basically the bird version of a period except all birds have it once or twice a year. they're more emotional, super sensitive, and extra clingy during molting!!
if an avian gives you one of their feathers it's basically a version of marriage, except it doesnt have to be romantic. its essentially a promise, like a 'we're with each other forever' kinda thing.
just as humans have discrimination, i imagine that avians have it too. more common species like songbirds, ravens, or crows are probably valued in society way less than those like eagles, doves, or parrots, and there could also be stereotypes against species like vultures or condors.
on wing clipping:
in my mind wing clipping is a lot like trimming your fingernails realllly sloppily, except the difference is that you should NEVER clip an avian's wings.
what i mean by fingernails is that the nails themselves don't hurt but if you do it sloppily there are Consequences: clipped too short -> irritated skin. clipped inconsistently -> sharp edges, snags on everything INCLUDING other feathers
huge violation of boundaries/self!! clipped wings -> can't fly. flying is integral to avian health and if they can't fly their mood and mental health will fall drastically.
clipped feathers take a long time to grow back, and therefore clipping has long-term effects. it also damages the feathers themselves (obviously) in ways that sometimes can't be healed
if an avian's wings are clipped their trust goes DOWN and their insecurity goes UP. its likely that if someone else tries to touch their wings they will freak out
clipped wings also make avians more jumpy and paranoid because they've lost their major way to escape/protect themselves: flying away.
angst potentials in wingfics (spoiler: there's a lot):
like i said, clipped wings -> can't fly. write about an avian's first time flying again. (not super angsty but still)
SUPER angsty: write about the actual act of wing clipping.
an avian is neglecting their wing care and tries to hide it.
relationship between a 'noble' avian (eagle, dove, etc) and a 'basic' avian (crow, raven, etc) and society's dislike of the relationship.
or maybe avians are a minority in a human world, and an avian has to hide their wings to be safe.
hope this helped!! <33
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barbika1508 · 1 month
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A dead man, a criminal. Prisoner. Murderer.
Word Count: 14,1k
Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x F! Reader
Genre: Action, Romance, Smut
Summary: Your typical-ish ‘breaking Sebastian out of Azkaban’ fic with a bit of angst sprinkled in, but also porn with some plot to put a cheery on top.
Authors Note: Use of MC. I’m sure there are mistake but oh well, otherwise please enjoy my twist on a classic Sebastian Sallow fic. I say classic as it feels like one to me.
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Steady breaths. Steady breaths. Steady. Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out.
‘’It's rather odd.’’ a pause follows ‘’They usually send tougher blokes for these things. No offence.’’
I don't bother turning to the guard and his comment, feeling his eyes run up and down my body, the extra layers I've put on doing their job making me look more robust. Even with the Polyjuice potion I’ve drank, resembling a man of a smaller stature with added weight to look as non-threatening as I can, having chosen a muggle I’ve passed two months ago selling newspapers in London.
''None taken.’’ I offer a fake smile snorting, keeping up the acting letting my eyes shift around, the lack of my wand only slightly concerning the guard the only one armed between the two of us ‘’Happens a lot.’’ I grumble coughing as the muggle is a smoker it reflecting in my breathing as it’s becoming heavier the more we walk. My body is aching for rest.
‘’I can imagine.’’ he shrugs, not seeing the glare I send him, being offended in the nameless muggle’s name instead. I flinch as someone suddenly screams at the top of their lungs, the voice carrying around the hall, the cell doors after all wooden with small windows carved in them, bared by metal bars not leaving them open.
The shout is coming from a criminal and yet they are still made of flesh and blood like I am. It sends a nasty chill to run down my spine. It's going to follow me I already know it.
Incredulous as I was before - silently of course - I observe the guard who is completely unphased. He unlocks metal barred doors with a regular key, not using any magic letting us pass into the third section of the prison. The further in we are making it into Azkaban the worse the conditions are. Shouts, screams of pain, manic laughter are the few sounds that have been accompanying me since setting foot on this gods forsaken island.
Taking the moment as the auror wrestles with a new key, I look around the surprisingly lit corridor. With torches on the walls providing light, we’ve reached a section where there’s lack of natural lighting. So, following along the spaciousness my gaze takes me upwards.
Something I was warned against. Of course, curiosity killed the cat after all.
I sallow uneasy at the sight of what seem hundreds if not thousands of dementors swirl near the ceilings, their attention set onto us. Even with good distance between them and us, their mere presence is shattering. Ugly creatures. I feel my own will beginning to falter, bad memories itching to surface to the front of my mind. It’s hard to resist and has me putting in great effort and a deal of concentration to keep my thoughts blank.
‘’They must be sensing you.’’ the guard comments, his voice sounding unnatural in the once more quiet space. Glancing at him with a raised eyebrow he nods stopping to stand next to me ‘’You are faring a lot better than most blokes that come through. I’ll give ya that.’’
‘’In what sense?’’ I manage out following him, his words leaving me uneasy. But not rattled.
‘’Ahh even the biggest of the meatheads that do their bosses biding retrieving poor saps…’’ he glances back at me to which I nod furrowing my brows ‘’...tend to lose it for a few moments on different sections. Fear is a powerful thing.’’
Narrowing my eyes his words hold something deep to them. I’m getting his hint. Other than that, the man besides looking rather bored at times is quite unreadable I’m certain this place leaving effect on him as well. Keeping my observances to myself I trail along as I have been from the beginning, trying my best to ignore this body’s strain which I am putting it through.
‘’It can make you do bizarre things.’’ I say under my breath playing the character I envisioned for the man I am portraying.
The guard hums taking a turn to the right hands back on another keychain containing a few bizarre, shaped keys. Unique to the cells.
‘’It is your lucky day number 18031.’’ he speaks up unlocking the door ‘’Or unlucky given your future is still rather grim. From what I can deduct.’’ he looks back at me giving me a once over once more, along with an unnecessarily creepy and cruel smirk that I have to force out too to fool this lunatic.
The guard per instruction from before makes his way into the cell chatting happily with the prisoner leaving me alone outside. The warmth from the many torches is non-existent, a dangerous type of chill that rattles my bones begins to settle. Once more glancing up the dementors are itching closer in what I can describe is interest.
Cocking my head, I try not to focus on them too closely, clearing my mind of distractions, trying to stop jittering or the need to clack my teeth together. I’m already feeling like life is pointless, the weight of the world set on my shoulders once more. But that is the extent of it, the thrumming in my blood keeping me collected.
The lullaby I call it of my ancient magic is a soothing whisper in my ears.
‘’Ah there we go.’’ comes the guards voice pushing out the man not roughly but enough to get him moving. It takes everything in me from not reaching out watching as the bearded youngster catches himself from falling, his hands chained.
‘’Are the chains necessary?’’ I ask frowning, looking at the guard as he smiles locking the door.
‘’Moreso for you than us Mr. Blane.’’ his reply is of amusement ‘’He is a criminal, but I’m sure you’ve heard that from your boss already.’’
‘’A wandless one.’’ I raise an eyebrow checking the young man over, seeing his hunched form. He’s hiding his face behind long brown hair, the stripped ‘uniform’ he’s forced to wear too big on his form, full of tears. Barefoot he looks like he hasn’t bathed in forever.
‘’You’ve not seen a man brought to their knees by despair yet, have ya?’’ the guard chats as if we’re talking about the weather leaving the prison doors open turning towards the same way where we came from. I subconsciously fall in step with the prisoner giving the prisoner a few seconds of time, watching, and waiting for him to take the first step which he does.
‘’I have.’’ I admit the last 10 years not exactly easy.
‘’Different kind of despair then.’’ the guard hums beginning to unlock the doors ‘’Not to give any ideas but think of basic instincts Mr. Blane. Primal.’’ again the creepy smile is back, the guard’s eyes portraying cruelty he I’m sure has gotten scarily good at hiding. His change in mood is due to something he saw in me, I’m sure. A mannerism I did or an answer that made him switch from apparent boredom to genuine emotions. Which isn't reassuring.
I return the grin trying my hardest not to gag, the emotions swirling in my belly strong.
‘’Hmmm. Thank you for the lesson. I’ll keep that in mind for future encounters.’’
If I was in my own skin, I’d be jumping out of it. The cruelty of the situation the darkness, this prison the capital of corruption and soullessness, insanity sounding blissful even.
Even if the people here are the worst of the worst of wizard kind it’s all too inhumane. As we begin trekking forward with the guard whistling a song, I follow behind the two. The prisoner not having uttered a word, his whole-body showing defeat as he drags his legs, shoulders that are wide and filled slouched. Taller than me for a whole head.
Satisfaction brought the cat back.
The thought crosses my mind my gaze taking me upwards again, to the new dementors who are hovering above us as we make way. Unsettling. Anyone would be unsettled with dark creatures doing so.
I’m no different.
Curiosity after all is not always worth it. Satisfaction even less. So, I redirect the impulsive thought of releasing some magic out to the corner of my mind, the dementors still presenting mystery to this day. In that regards we are similar. Because even though they present fear that has spread to every witch and wizard, here I stand walking beneath them still confident and reassured even wandless they wouldn’t harm me unlike my wizard kin.
My magic is telling me much.
Reaching the last doors takes us a while, our trek unhurried but briefed before we entered the first corridor. I have a hate/love relationship with patience. And the closer we are to the exit the carriage with which I’ve arrived in my sight the more my magic buzzes along with my excitement which I’m desperately trying to keep at bay.
The guard that accompanied me goes to talk to his buddy that’s keeping post at the entrance, the man looking even more uninterested sending us a brief glance only once as he signs scrolls, transfiguring a stone table from a rock nearby.
Glancing at the prisoner he’s still motionless standing next to me like a statue. His hair has grown long, past his shoulders, beard also overgrown. His skin like I mentioned is covered in dirt and grime some clear spots revealing faded freckles. Hmm.
‘’Alright Mr. Blane.’’ the guard cheers still in a jolly mood trotting over to me, presenting the scroll wide and open ‘’The paperwork and the prisoner as promised are all delivered in one piece.’’ and back comes the unsettling grin. The man is too proud of himself and his wrong doings.
‘’Ah that’s a good man.’’ I cough squinting as I read the death certificate bringing my left hand from the pocket of my coat bringing out the handkerchief, I’ve been holding to wipe my mouth as I read the entirety of the page, making sure of the details ‘’Splendid.’’ I continue letting out another cough a hiccup following. Oh no.
‘’Well at the end of the day, we’ve gotten quite the stroll out hey. Besides getting jobs done.’’ I cheer still wiping my mouth that’s beginning to tingle as are my fingers, the potion starting to waver.
‘’A lovely one at that admittedly. I’ve pegged you wrongly at first. You’re quite the brave man Mr. Blake.’’
I laugh with him fishing out a small bag of coins handing them over to him, his eyes practically sparkling as well as the bored guards as he comes over giving the prisoner a disgusted look but makes sure to stand away from him ‘’The amount is as promised lads. And this…’’ I reach for the trouser pocket and bring out 6 more coins splitting them between the two ‘’For your troubles and help.’’ I smile gratefully ready to puke my guts out, my skin literally crawling, my left leg beginning to itch unbelievably.
‘’Ahhhh Mr. Blane. How generoussss.’’ the overly joyed guard cheers, the bored one looking impressed ‘’The pleasure was all ours.’’
‘’Indeed.’’ the bored guard adds handing over my wand which was also made to look different, the redness of the wood of my wand masked into black wood along with the handle being switched into a plain one.
‘’Gentlemen.’’ I nod in acknowledgement ‘’Business calls. Have yourself a pleasant day onwards.’’ I greet and begin to walk ignoring the prisoner as the guard eagerly steps to him. I hear them both follow to the carriage, the Thestral’s patiently waiting.
Not entirely used to the big belly of this body I stumble and practically climb into the carriage. Beginning to sweat and not only from fatigue I start to wipe my forehead, smiling as the “nicer” guard ushers the prisoner into the carriage with me, making him sit opposite as I’ve sat with my back to the Thestral’s.
‘’Until next time Mr. Blane.’’ the guard greets looking up as I cover my mouth the trembles happening all over my body. I play it off with a nod and another cough, the guard getting the message and closing the doors. Not wasting any time, I wave my wand magic the Thestral’s neighing in reply pulling us forth, the movement rough having me grip onto the seat as we practically launch into the air.
Waving my wand, the tinny curtains of the doors close shut as I try to catch my breath sitting back feeling very uncomfortable in this body, the grumbling getting louder and obnoxious, brown eyes peeking at me.
My breath gets caught at the sight of them. And my smile is instantaneous.
‘’Sorry about this…’’ the change in my voice is noticeable getting higher pitched, but lowering quickly as if one was changing the frequency on the radio ‘’...this will probably be uncomfortable for the both of us.’’
And with that, I attempt at shrugging off the oversized coat I’ve got on, barely managing it as my skin begins to morph, my eyesight sharpening from the dullness it has fallen into. The weight from the male anatomy is the hardest to disappear leaving me without air, the more my body reforms, hair prickling as it grows and regrows. Bones and limbs twist, organs readjusting. The heaviness in my lungs disintegrates and I’m left feeling like I’m breathing clean air after a long time.
The transformation back into myself leaves me winded and a bit lost for time. Because what feels like agonizing minutes, I’m sure it was seconds that passed. Sitting slumped against the carriage seat I look back up to meet my favourite pair of brown eyes, still unchanged in these 10 years.
I can see the bafflement in them.
And recognize the way his mind is working - a million miles per hour.
‘’Alright so we don’t have much time.’’ I find my voice clearing it by coughing a few times, simultaneously beginning to wrestle with the tie I’ve put on and the white shirt underneath ‘’The Ministry’s lookout is bound to meet us at one point. It’s routine for them to fly around to check any unwanted visitations near Azkaban…’’ I ramble undoing the clothing I’ve put on realizing how hot I’ve gotten as I strip down to my own simple shirt and blazer, along with pants and shoes that have already fallen off my feet.
‘’...so, let's get you into something more comfortable for the time being. And less obvious.’’
I begin to pick up the clothing placing it next to him, for him to wear as intended ‘’Gods, we should've been off already.’’ I grumble standing up, pushing open the seat grabbing my boots, along with another wand.
Turning forward I meet his eyes again offering the wand ‘’It's not yours I’m sorry I couldn’t retrieve it. But it's the next best thing until we can find you a new one.’’
But unlike how I imagined it, he doesn’t react. Still silent, a bit frighteningly so he stares at it mouth remaining shut eyes coming back to meet mine.
‘’Okay then amm…’’ I stumble dropping onto the seat ‘’No rush there, Sebastian. I’ll take care of you don’t worry.’’
With my boots on, I automatically reach forward but stop myself quickly realizing the boldness of my action, watching him scared for a second that he’s going to freak out. He doesn’t. He remains motionless staring at me unbreaking eye contact.
‘’I’m sorry I’m rushing you into this. I really am sorry. But I need you to change, okay? I didn’t break you out of prison to see you sent back. Can you please dress??? Do you need help?’’
He shakes his head at that and lifts his hands wordlessly ‘’Oh fuck, I’m so stupid I’m so sorry.’’ I rush reaching for my wand the concealing charm falling away revealing my wand properly ‘’Alohomora.’’
And just like that the chains fall from his wrist, his hands defined and a bit scarred.
‘’I’ll go outside okay, give you a moment.’’ Receiving back the faintest of nods and a completely unreadable Sebastian, I open the carriage door, the wind slamming into me but unmoving me as I make quick work of climbing onto the empty seat, another illusion charm breaking to reveal no one driving the carriage. Sparks of blue like magic visibly to my eyes only.
Checking the surroundings luckily clouds are beginning to gather, a storm brewing the smell of it thick in the air. Turning back seeing nothing but ocean underneath us I let myself smile a little, as I pick up on thunder grumbling.
A knock to the ceiling of the wood brings me back to reality, setting me back into motion of sliding back into the carriage. Instead of entering I rest one foot on the second step, holding onto the railing atop of the carriage hanging from it practically as I peek inside taking Sebastian in.
The clothes are lost as was his prison uniform but makes him look less, wild in a sense. His eyes hold more intensity to them.
‘’Okay.’’ I begin noticing he hasn’t reached for the wand I let for him picking it up ‘’You’ve got no reason to but, will you trust me?’’ I ask his eyes going to the wand then back to me ‘’Trust me Seb??’’ I try, sliding the wand into the sleeve of my blouse where I have my own wand holster.
After two heart beats Sebastian nods, to which I mimic him turning sideways.
‘’Alright. It’s just you and me.’’ I repeat the words automatically, this having become a mantra the past 10 years before I did anything foolish and dangerous. Scooting to the doors preventing them from closing I reach back with my hand offering it to him.
‘’Place your foot behind mine and hold onto me, okay?? Really tight!’’
Focusing on what I must do next, I don’t pay him mind. I don’t even know if he hesitates or not. Not even the way he slides his hand in mine. I only know for sure when I feel his hand, I grab onto him firmly switching to holding one hand with my right, left keeping us upright as he presses himself behind me. He’s a lot taller than I remember beard scratching the back of my head.
‘’Okay.’’ I say to myself more so, grasp on the bar of the carriage beginning to morph as I feel what I can describe is a pleasant heat of my magic coming to life, the support of the carriage disappearing as if a balloon was popped.
And just like that we are falling.
For a few moments that is. Sebastian’s hold tightens impossibly so crushing me onto him. And as ridiculous as it is, bizarre in the midst of the chaos, of the fear, anxiety, happiness, everything bubbling in me I can feel butterflies.
Upkeep his trust, and proceeding with the plan like I’ve said the carriage disappears. What’s left is my modified broom, which was the rod I was holding onto. Bending my knees, I twist it in front of me and slide it beneath us both.
It’s a move I’ve been practicing since my first flying days back at Hogwarts, the thought of falling of a broom instilling a weird fear into me. So, this move has been years in the making.
Successfully I slide it both underneath us, catching onto the foot holders I’ve readjusted to the front. It does pull us roughly forward and Sebastian lands on it to the side. But I’m prepared. I’ve literally obsessed over every possibility of this.
With a nudge forward and hold my iron grip on him, his hand intertwined in mine I pull him flat against me, twisting the broom to right our positions.
On a normal day the manoeuvre would call for a loud cheer, the accomplishment unseen by wizard kind. But not today. It’s not an occurrence in anyone’s lifetime to break people from Azkaban. And yet here we are.
So, upkeep focus is the priority. Flying Sebastian to safety is the next agenda of business. And with the cover of clouds and budding lightning, that’s the easiest part of today.
***
‘’Well…’’ I pause taking half a step back to observe my handiwork trying my hardest not to make any faces, as I continue running my fingers through his hair, the newly chopped strands sticking in all kinds of directions ‘’...given my limited experience in sheering a sheep once, I’d say it looks rather good.’’ I praise myself satisfied with Sebastian’s now short hairstyle.
Trying to remain positive I stand in front of him, his eyes unmovable from me not once fleeting elsewhere ‘’Hm.’’ I mumble and place my hands on my hips meeting his pretty brown eyes ‘’Feels better huh?’’
He doesn’t reply. He hasn’t spoken a word since the carriage. No scratch that since his cell. I’m not sure exactly what to think of it reminding myself over and over again to keep calm and give him time and space. Which reminds me.
‘’Ah yeah, the bath.’’ I point out the tub that I’ve filled almost to the brim with lukewarm sinking the tips of my fingers in it to test it out ‘’Alright. I’ve got many shampoos, over there…’’ He merely glances to where I point to the small stool, I’ve placed next to the tub ‘’...I remember you liking more woody scents, but I didn’t know exactly the brand you liked, so I bought a bunch for you to try.’’ I smile as I step over to him sitting in the middle of my bathroom, covered with an old towel as I’ve cut his hair leaving the beard up to him.
‘’There are fresh clothes for you, the one’s I gave you were for show and more of a universal size. We’ll get more to fit you better and to your liking when you’re ready.’’ I pass him over to the sink, letting go of the scissors on the porcelain surface, my own products neatly stacked to my liking on the free space of the shelving unit I built one day.
‘’And yeah.’’ reaching for my wand I wave it at the tub, speaking the incantation in my mind watching as the water begins to bubble and steam, trying not to let Sebastian’s deep gaze unhinge me ‘’That’s about that.’’ I smile wider backing towards the door ‘’Take as much of time as you like. I’ll go prepare us some food in the meantime. If you need anything I’m right behind the doors.’’
With that I’m grasping the doorhandle opening it but find myself hesitant with taking a step onwards turning back to the still mute Sebastian that doesn’t move a muscle. It’s as if he’s trying to tell me something while I’m stuck on a level of not being able to understand him. With a softer smile, I step outside with a heavy heart closing the door gently making my way into the kitchen from my bedroom.
My cottage is on the smaller side only having the basics, the addition of a study heaven sent. I send a glance around the spacious room that is the kitchen, entrance, dining room and living room all combined.
It’s a cozy little place to live in, with no noisy neighbours, or busy streets my location being on the edge of the village ensuring peace and quiet.
But tonight, for the first time since moving here the silence is deafening. Knowing who is on the other side of the wall. My body begins moving on autopilot peeling potatoes by hand instead of using magic, my mind keeps racing. It’s hard not to think of more scenarios, more what-ifs. Honestly its quite bloody hard trying not to spiral. Guilt always finds a way to interfere.
Before I know it, I’ve prepared the veggies and precut chicken setting it into the oven it firing up normally. It only comes after the tiredness from my actions as I slump into the chair at the head of the table facing the kitchen, so I’ll be able to see Sebastian emerge from my dimly lit room.
It feels unreal. Reality not sinking just yet - he is here. He is free. I’ve freed him.
The commitment of a crime - breaking a prisoner out of prison - still doesn’t sound bad in my ears. Logically its illegal yes, but I feel that I did the right thing. Because I did. I know I did. I’m just regretful it took me 10 fucking years to do so. Laws cannot help you even when proven right and wrong. Alliances are fickle matters. Money can’t buy you everything.
Shadows moving in the corner of my eye have me tense up, left hand shifting towards the movement, my wand forgotten on the clean kitchen counter. I keep forgetting it in places, wandless magic having gotten easier with training and life experiences. I somewhat relax at the sight of Sebastian emerging from the other room.
He leaves me stunned. With damp hair slicked back, and a clean-shaven face I’m able to see the progress of time on him. It’s not much which is why it strikes me all that more at how all the same he looks. He is on the skinnier side, eyes cheeks sunken, the boyish look gone and replaced by the serious and still wordless man that cautiously walks into the light, eyes fleeting towards the oven - or my wand - then back to me.
The clothes I’ve gotten him hang loose but not too much. They look a little short. He’s taller than I anticipated. But clothing is an easy fix. So is hair.
Despite the sullenness he’s still Sebastian. It's hard to explain it, but I see that spark in him even in the emotionlessness he’s portraying. Makes my heart ache so much more.
‘’You’ve made yourself a cozy home.’’ are the first words that he speaks. His voice is gruff giving a hint of not being used as the tone is low and raspy.
I glance around memories of frantic deep cleaning marathons I’ve spiralled into before setting out on getting him free, going through my mind as I shrug turning back ‘’Ehhh. A recent purchase.’’ I glance around again trying not to look at the trinkets I’ve picked up from adventures and work-related tasks.
At his silence but inquiring eyes I continue ‘’The quiet has its advantages. Or maybe it’s the old age in me, craving some alone time.’’
At this his eyebrows raise as he looks around again, observing the furniture, decor, pictures ‘’No significant other to keep company??’’
I want to snort at the obvious question: his train of thoughts is very similar to the old Sebastian I knew. I shake my head rolling my shoulders back as I lean against the chair, relaxing my feet and body getting comfortable ‘’Wasn’t on my list of priorities to be honest.’’ I scrunch up my nose watching as he walks over to the table, still putting distance between us.
‘’Hmmm.’’ he hums in thought eyes looking over my ringless fingers as if to confirm it ‘’You were always too brilliant for mere mortals.’’ he jokes my smile easily rising at the jab as I chuckle my heart fluttering at the soft smile that he graces me with.
‘’Ah it’s not even about that, and you know it.’’ I reply bringing my hands on the table together starting to fidget as I timidly look at him ‘’Did you…’’ I pause adrenaline and confidence having truly left me ‘’Did you by any chance get any mail?’’
He remains silent eyes breaking away as they look around the room more, the shift from one foot to another prompting him into walking slowly over, hands that previously rested on top of a chair, moving along touching the wood as he comes closer.
‘’You wrote me?’’ he counters with a question, face not giving anything away even if he looks relaxed.
‘’I did.’’ I say calmly ignoring the rise of my heartbeat as he pulls the chair out on my left and with caution sits himself down, body turned towards me.
‘’Sadly, I wasn’t granted those kinds of privileges.’’
Defeated at that, the comfort of Sebastian hearing from me all these years is slightly defeating as I’ve hoped my words would bring some form of comfort. When my owl kept returning with no letters, I’d assumed that he got them.
‘’I tried.’’ I begin licking over my lower lip ‘’I wrote to you.’’ I pause again looking at my hands not able to meet his serious face ‘’I tried opening an investigation for your case.’’ I send a glance to my right the cabinet containing all the documents I’ve gathered during the 10 years to free him. ‘’Even with the right connections I – I’ve had to resort to other measures.’’ I frown raising my right hand reciting the right levitation charm watching as a thin brown folder levitates into the air and makes its way over into my hand.
I finally turn to Sebastian trying not to backtrack at the intense look he’s giving me. The emotionlessness has me on edge, but even more so it’s his stillness. I know him as being animated always full of life and mischief too, his cunning knowing no bounds. Its why I was always drawn to him, so easily agreeing to stupid plans.
‘’You’ve heard us talk. I think you’ve picked up on what transpired.’’ I turn the file over and slide it to him, his eyes unmoving from me as silence stretches between us.
And the more it goes on the more I feel like a little girl again. Uncomfortable, lost, anxious but the feelings I hate the most are insecurity and helplessness. With a look he’s drawing that out of me. Lucky or unlucky my employment has provided me with years of practice, and a ton of experience to leave nothing out as I hold myself composed, straightening up even sitting proper in anticipation for an attack. I don’t exactly know how else to hold myself by, the work of an Unspeakable wrapped in mystery for sure, but also layers of let’s call it character development that had shaped me into the person I am today.
Yet with the reminder of the last few years the trails tribulations, the triumphs, falls, accomplishments, deaths I’m being brought to a dangerous level of crumbling. Under those watchful brown eyes, empty but overwhelming at the same time.
‘’Last time I saw you, heard you – your cries were quite remorseful.’’ He taps his fingers against the table quirking an eyebrow. The memory burns freshly in my mind, aurors taking Sebastian away, Ominis holding me back with surprising strength as I protested and pleaded, begging for them to stop my cries falling on deaf ears.
‘’I think any 15-year-old would react like that when she saw the love of her life being taken away like that.’’ the truth pours out easily the quirk of his brow signalling I’ve caught him of guard.
‘’That’s quite the statement, Mc.’’ He observes, his posture giving hints of something akin to curiosity.
‘’It happens to be truthful.’’ I lower my chin a little still maintaining eye contact.
‘’Even after all that happened. After all I’ve done? After I’ve taught you the dark arts. Got you almost killed?’’ the words pour out of him the collectedness cracking.
‘’They say love is blind.’’ I smile at my own statement relaxing back into the chair.
‘’Mc.’’ He speaks my name seriously leaning forward for the first-time showing anger and frustration shifting in his seat ‘’I’ve manipulated you into doing my biding. Played on your nice heart, taken advantage thoroughly. I didn’t even think about consequences. You’re not daft. You’re aware of all of this.’’
I simply nod at his words smile still present ‘’I didn’t care about your feelings or wellbeing.’’ He adds on my shrug seemingly rising more out of him ‘’I would’ve done anything and everything to find a cure. Anything.’’
At this I tilt my head watching him. I’ve imagined him going of like this in my mind many times. My own imagination a lot more hurtful than the real thing truthfully. Even if his words are baneful, I find myself being okay.
‘’You never lied very well to me.’’ I find myself stating his lack of anything prompting me to go on ‘’I could always read you. I knew you better than you did yourself.’’ I hum after that Sebastian shaking his head.
‘’And here I thought I’ve been freed from the looney bin.’’
At that statement my smile disappears my fingers tapping on the table to rein him in ‘’No need for that, Seb. We both know what anger makes you do, your regretful-ness always leading you to grovelling.’’ I spit back. His jaw clenches, fingers curling into fists stance tense.
‘’I think between the two of us you’re the fool in this equation. You used to tease anyone to never underestimate me, and yet here you are.’’ I pause reaching for the pocket of my pants ‘’You know I’m not the one who put you behind bars.’’ Confidently I go on ‘’Somehow even with little privileges you’re a Slytherin after all. Its why you didn’t protest or react when the Polyjuice potion wore off in the carriage.’’
His breathing is becoming deeper, chest raising and falling noticeably ‘’You knew something was up. You’re not one to throw in the towel. Even after – after the circumstances.’’ I pause not wanting to mention Azkaban directly ‘’I have it on good authority that you’ve gotten some of my letters.’’ His breathing hitches my smile rising ‘’Like I said you can’t trick me Sallow. We’ve had it worse in our 5th year in some regards.’’
I get completely serious waiting for him to protest, waiting for him to raise an uproar as I’m sure he’s easily recollecting the events in our Hogwarts days. The thought of us being kids and definitely the definition of luck as the dangers we’ve faced would leave anyone else traumatized or dead.
I’ve been in the presence of dementors before, the ministry having random outbreaks, some of my missions having sent me to meet even worse creatures than them. Sebastian might have been alone for these past years dealing with happiness and joy being sucked out of him – for a fact I know especially now that he’s going to be okay. He has changed yes, grown as I did, but he has also managed to adapt to his surroundings. He didn’t let them take him entirely apart.
‘’Even with this…’’ I rest my hand on the table, knuckles against the wood opening my palm up we both watch as a fire like shape raises, the tingle of my ancient magic humming comforting to be brought to the surface ‘’…with what life has thrown at me…’’ I shake my head the magic rising ‘’…I’m…’’ the words die on my tongue.
Magic retracts itself disappearing into thin air leaving behind a warm feeling my offer to the once more stoic brunette a sad smile as I pull my hand back but place the small box from my pocket on the table ‘’You’re not alone.’’
My voice is strained as the oven begins to beep annoying loud providing the opportunity to look away and blink tears into nonexistence as I will myself to calm down, waving my hand in the familiar and automatic pattern as I watch the over, turn off its doors opening. The dish floats without a hitch onto the stove, the oven doors closing.
Glancing over at Sebastian his gaze is stuck on the unopened box and file. I sigh deeply steadying myself as I reach over and flicker the velvety box open revealing a simple silver ring pushing it to him. I tap the table twice, the indication for him to open the document. Which he slowly does reach for, opening it as if it’s going to attack him at any moment.
Placing both of my hands back on the table, I summon the wand I’ve gotten for him his declination of it before still a mystery to me. Catching the unfamiliarly weighted wand, I gently place it on the table right in the middle between us, the offering going unsaid.
Retreating my hands I reach for the other pocket of my pants, pulling out and putting on my own wedding band which is a fairly recent accessory I’ve started wearing.
Looking over at the silent man, his eyes are taking the paper in rapidly. Reading. Re-reading. Re-checking. The certificates. The ring. The wand.
‘’Nothing is set in stone.’’ I softly begin Sebastian still unmoving ‘’Except for the death certificate. That was tricky to arrange, more so than the wedding document. Oh, Merlin that was ridiculously easy.’’ Once more I shake my head letting out an empty laugh, surprised but not showing it as he has picked up the wedding ring his silence stretching for longer than I’m used to from him.
It slides me right back towards the edge, anxiety picking, the knot in my stomach twisting to a painful degree.
‘’L/N?’’
I nod immediately as his eyes meet my own ‘’I think my surname is rather nice.’’ I blur out ‘’No that Sallow isn’t but, it kind of defeats the whole ‘you’re publicly dead’ purpose.’’ I rant his face not changing ‘’I’m sure the daily prophet will mention your passing tomorrow.’’ I glance to the left at the clock ticking away, signalling its way later than it feels. It still feels surreal to have Sebastian in front of me.
He opens his mouth but closes it just as fast something bothering him, twisting his pretty face into a frown. It would be weird if he wasn’t bothered.
‘’Like I’ve said nothing is set into stone.’’ I raise my hands in surrender, Sebastian’s attention on the wand now. He’s watching it and not picking it up.
‘’I’ve used you.’’ His statement catches me of guard as anger sparks ‘’Need I repeat all the misdeed’s all the faults I’ve made you dealt with? I saw how scared you were of the ancient magic, I saw how it drained you and still I’ve pushed and pushed you, into exhaustion and numerous shaves with death without a pause. Heck, in the scriptorium after casting Curcio I left you behind in favour of exploring. Mc. Why?’’ he deadpans ‘’Anne my own twin sister sent me to Azkaban. Ominis my best friend didn’t hesitate to betray me. You…this is madness. You are mad.’’
He stares at me incredulous clearly having run these questions through his mind before. He rehearsed these words. Before me doesn’t sit a ‘notorious prisoner, a criminal from Azkaban’ anymore. Before me is sitting the Sebastian I know and love. With the same scared expression, same sort of desperation eyes pleading for things to make sense.
Hence why getting up is so much easier body moving on its own the scared boy I was infatuated with having the same effect on me, pulling me in towards the wildfire that he is. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t particularly react in any way as I step around the table and in front of him rising my hands.
Meeting his eyes my palms land on his cheeks. Gentle to touch thanks to the shower and shave they feel familiar in my palms and yet different. His body tense from emotions and racing mind going gradually into a relax state as he hunches forward, eyes blinking away tears.
I crowd into his personal space Sebastian making room by spreading his legs, welcoming as I brush my fingers into his messy hair, the motion making me feel 10 years younger as I’ve used to do this on the regular whenever we were alone together.
My heart all but leaps from my chest as his hands find themselves above my hips in a respectful place sliding over my back drawing me into a hug which I happily succumb to, holding him close to me only slightly self-conscious if he can hear how my heart speeds for him.
Otherwise, the surrealness returns, the overwhelming joy of finally putting my plans into motion of them being fruitful hit me. Closing my eyes I attempt at holding back tears, but it’s an impossible task with the way he’s holding onto me, guiding me as if I’m made of glass to sit in his lap rearranging us and yet not parting a millimetre away from one another, as he buries his face into my shoulder and stills, big hands splayed over my back as if I’m the one who’s going to disappear.
To be honest my hands are doing the same, grasping his clothes rougher than needed the reassurance not quenched entirely. So, I let the tears flow I’m sure dampening his shirt in the process, alerting him of my state only after a while since he makes the first move, calloused hands this time cupping my own cheeks, thumbs attempting to wipe away tears.
‘’I’ve not seen you cry ever dearest Mc, and I’m the one who makes you cry so easily??’’ a spark of mischief fizzles in the end his hesitant smile words causing me to huff an awkward laugh, as I look up towards the ceiling trying to will away the tears.
‘’It’s merely a side effect of a heartfelt reunion.’’ I let out some air looking back at him feeling hope creep into my heart which is unnerving ‘’Long distance and all.’’ My voice cuts off in the end the humour not at all humorous.
He hums in response I think feeling the same sentiments as I am, preoccupying himself with getting acquainted with me again. I know I’ve changed, its only logical. We are not kids anymore. I let him indulge as one hand continuously caresses up and down my back, the other touching my lose hair, temple, nose, cheek and so forth meanwhile I do the same taking my own selfish time in admiring him so up close, blissfully ignoring reality the bubble we’ve fallen into, serenity. A slice of Eden dare I say.
Its once his hand parts from my face and find my left hand, that he speaks again ‘’This is not how I’ve imagined my marriage would start.’’ He begins softly voice still containing raspiness to it, fingers tracing and rotating the wedding ring on my finger ‘’Rather unorthodox.’’ He muses in the end blessing me with a genuine smile.
‘’It’s quite fitting for your brand.’’ We both grin and my tease ‘’And like you’ve mentioned before. I’m not meant for mere mortals. Let alone being one for tradition or normalcy.’’ I let my ancient magic sparkle watching as he stares in wonder at our joined hands the blue like flame illuminating his face into a pretty blue colour.
‘’And yet you’re bestowing the sacred privilege of not only honouring me with your last name but taking me rather shamelessly as your husband?’’ he looks incredulous the more he speaks sort of holding his breath in a sense to see if I’m suddenly going to change my mind ‘’A dead man, a criminal. Prisoner. A murderer.’’
His handsome features twist into a frown showing disgust and what he’s thinking about himself I’m sure holding more vile words back. Unphased and already having expected this I keep calm, and with my right free hand reach for his occupied hand retaking the wedding ring I’ve picked for him twisting it between my fingers a trick I’ve learned from a muggle magician, slight of hands handy even in the wizarding world.
‘’To me you are just Sebastian.’’ I admit smiling watching his eyes glossing over lower lip trembling briefly ‘’I’ve obviously made my choice haven’t I. I’m giving you a choice of your own. You can accept it or refuse it, regardless of my actions and feelings because this is about you and your life from this point onwards.’’
The pause is heavy in the air, the coldness from the dementors making a fleeting appearance as I’m reminded of where he is coming from after all. He’s not the Sebastian I know not entirely, even if I am drawing him out slowly. Hence my fears are justifiable.
‘’You’ve taken one life, Seb.’’ I whisper lowering my hand searching his eyes ‘’In self-defence.’’ I pause again gulping down the knot in my throat ‘’You’ve no clue what I’ve done since you’ve been gone.’’ I give him a sad smile, looking between us at the way he’s holding my hand ‘’You have not paused to think that I might be dragging you back onto the wrong path. That I’m not who I appear to be. That I might be the bad guy here.’’
His relaxed body tenses the more I talk, expression once more dropping all emotions as he hardens eyebrows furrowing as intensity sparks behind his eyes ‘’You could never be.’’ He’s quick to hiss, gentle hands tightening the shake of his head warming me.
‘’Oh, but I am.’’ I drop both my hands in my lap, his own not leaving me for a moment ‘’I’ve earned many names in the years of my employment at the ministry.’’ He gets taken aback by that my smile lighter ‘’Professor Hecat had an eye for detecting certain potentials in students. Even the ones with good intentions.’’
I wait for him to figure out, to make the connection which he does brilliantly fast ‘’Mc…’’ he speaks my name sweetly to which I shake my head.
‘’I hold no grudges or ill against you Sebastian. I never had.’’ I straighten his hold unmoving ‘’I had this feeling ever since our youth that we were always meant to be.’’ His eyes widen ‘’It may be delusion from my part, but I do not regret the things I did with you, or the things I had to do to get you out.’’ Its frighteningly easy to slip into the serious persona I tend to wear as an Unspeakable. I hate that I’m doing it to him, switching up emotions not really comforting him as I should be.
But he needs to know the truth.
‘’You’ve always been on my m…’’
Unable to finish the sentence I’m startled into silence as his lips meet my own. Of course, it’s a rather surprising move I think for the both of us, as he doesn’t entirely commit to it his slightly chapped lips moving shily. He retreats as quicky as he came, eyes panicked as they search my own.
He meant the kiss I know that much. Its written all over his panic-stricken features and eyes. This is where the prison has left a mark on him, turning the flirtations and overconfident Slytherin to an insecure man holding me firmly and yet blushing at a mere peck that he so clumsily delivered.
Breaking the poor man’s torture, I end up closing the distance initiating the kiss gently, timid lips still unsure as they follow my own, a tremble to them prompting me to wrap my arms around his shoulders to hold him closer in reassurance. Or it might be my own insecurity still gnawing at my subconsciousness. Emotions are a tricky business.
For the moment being, the sweet slow drag of our lips is enough to keep me grounded. To appreciate the sacrifices made, the overthinking and panicking at times, the survival methods the both of us had to resort to. It matters not in the end as long as we are back in each other’s arms. And if that makes me bad, morally grey as the whispers in the ministry are floating around – I’ll be the villain. Gladly. As long as I get to see Sebastian. As long as he’s alright. Dare I hope for him to be happy finally.
Slowly parting he follow suit chasing me for a fracture of a moment. The small action has me smiling as I lean my forehead against his, running one hand through his hair trying to hold back, and calm my breathing and the beating of my heart.
‘’I’ve missed you.’’ my voice comes out unfiltered ‘’I’ve missed you so much, it ached.’’ I grasp his hand with my other one placing it over my heart ‘’Hurt. It hurt so bad, Seb.’’ Blasted tears make an appearance as I give space to look at him his own expression crushing as he looks so sorry and dejected.
‘’Oh darling…’’ he whines gulping, thoughts I’m sure all over ‘’Just you and me yeah??’’ he whispers upkeeping eye contact ‘’Remember? I made a promise.’’
I close my eyes at the memory. The memory holds joy as it does tragedy. The stupid fool that he was, he followed me one night when I stumbled upon a camp of poachers. The hero he wanted to act just got in the middle of things. It took one second of distraction from my part, one bloody second that he got struck with a nasty hex that left him instantly bleeding and unresponsive.
That brough a whole another aspect to my ancient magic as a thunderstorm raged for the rest of the night. He narrowly escaped death only thanks to me finding the by then deceased wizard’s wand, breaking it to relive him of pains, and a good 2 Wiggenweld Potion’s to get him semi-conscious.
Having had to reveal the room of requirements and thankfully learning enough healing charms to ‘mend’ him together his promise befell through a fervour he had. But his smile was bright, genuine a bit aloof. He meant every word he said.
And right now, he’s being deadly serious waiting for my response.
‘’Even after all this time?’’ my voice comes out unsure, Sebastian immediately nodding bringing our joined hands upwards to which he presses a kiss to the top of my knuckles.
‘’I could ask you the same thing.’’ He smiles with ease drawing out a blush to flush over my cheeks ‘’You’ve waited all these years, haven’t you?’’ he hums as I nod not trusting my voice ‘’Found impossible ways to keep giving me hope. To keep me alive. Sane.’’ I can merely stare at him, ignoring my own trembling lips letting myself enjoy his touches and proximity ‘’Only you. It has always been only you.’’
Unlike the younger version of Sebastian who had shown his fire-y passion usually through kisses and rather daring touches now and then, this Sebastian still handling me like glass pulls me into his embrace, resting his head onto my shoulder hiding his face in my hair and momentarily from the world.
So, I follow suit, running one hand over his back caressing, the other finding its way into his curls the feeling of them, having imagined it to many times to count, currently a blissful affair.
‘’Let me see that ring.’’ He speaks up as I’ve seemingly lost my own voice, doing as he wishes parting only slightly to watch him accept the ring I’ve been holding onto this entire time, doubts nasty little critters as I like to not so affectionally call these emotions, piling and adding weight.
With a held breath, he examines the silver ring turning and twisting it around looking at it from all the angles, his lips painted with a faint lopsided smirk of amusement and mischief. He looks up at me the side of his eyes crinkling a bit.
‘’No flashy jewellery.’’ He quirks an eyebrow, cupping my ring bearing hand raising it to which his gaze falls into my own ring which he gently rolls around my fingers ‘’Always the one for practicality.’’ He chuckles retreating his hand to put his wedding band onto his finger. Only when it slides fitting onto his digit perfectly do I release the breath I’ve been holding.
‘’It’s not even about practicality.’’ I pout watching as he flexes his fingers, rotating his hand as if testing the feel of the band his definitely mischievous eyes landing on my own ‘’I’m not one for rocks it’s all.’’ I shrug attempting to cross my arms waiting for the onslaught of his teases giving in immediately as his hand intercepts both of my own.
‘’Just sturdy, powerful and extremely rare metals then?’’ again with the quirking of his eyebrow his comment reminding me how brilliant he still is. It didn’t take him long at all to figure out that our wedding bands, silver in colour have been made from like he said extremely, nearly extinct pieces of metal that took quite the ventures to get to them.
Not only have they meaning in the eyes of everyone as being symbols of our love and devotion to one another, but they provide us with certain magical enhancements.
‘’Not meant for mere mortals.’’ Once more I throw at his face wanting him to understand how much he means to me, his playfulness lowering a notch as he looks at me with affection. With more confidence in his actions, he leans in capturing my lips with his, the kiss syrupy as he takes his time as if to explore my mouth anew, hands finding themselves over my thigs where he grips onto my flesh and pulls me even closer.
I sigh into the kiss letting him take the lead, not minding his touches that grow bolder kiss paired with teeth and tongue reminding me of his teenage self actually who wasn’t afraid of trying out new things.
What has my brows furrowing is the thrust of his hips coming at random the full feel of his manhood clicking in my brain I shift in his lap in such a manner that has me wrapping my legs around his hips, the back of the chair providing an annoying blockade preventing me from wrapping around him.
As if he reads my mind – making me briefly wonder if he has become a legitimus – his hands slip underneath me his touch daring as its on my bottom. With a bite to my lower lip, he lets out a shuddering breath shifting getting up all the while holding me against him. The damned chair falls over causing a racket in the quiet house but leaves him and myself unbothered as his lips find their way under my jaw teeth grazing against my jugular the action arousing in some odd way.
‘’Oh Seb…’’ I groan as he presses a wet kiss to a ticklish area, his swaying prompting me to open my eyes, seeing the sunrise outside the window.
‘’You sound so beautiful.’’ He groans continuing with his ministrations ‘’And I’ve merely begun.’’ Cheeky is what he is, hands grasping my backside squeezing even.
‘’Oh.’’ I squeak ending up giggling at my own response, Sebastian ending up laughing with me, momentarily stopping his ministrations ‘’Ah Merlin. You’re still obnoxious.’’
On purpose I’m sure he delivers a slightly stinging bite ‘’Ouch Sebastian!’’ I try to scold him, his lull into a step side-tracking my thoughts as I cling onto him.
‘’And you are still, sensitive dear wife.’’ he smirks as I look down at him, his grin almost the same one that promises nothing but trouble. But his use of title, has a blush hitting me all over, heat practically washing over me. I see how my reaction pleases him, as he continues walking carefully. A hint of my old Sebastian is showing through the sparkles in his pretty eyes.
‘’I’m not sensitive.’’ I pout trying to keep calm and my head clear ‘’You always imagined that.’’
He chuckles as we walk past the doorway, the sun outside casting gentle rays onto the floor. It’s quite the miracle for it has been raining for months, and today out of all days it’s miraculously sunny.
‘’Ah. Sure yes. As your dutiful husband I shall agree on that and apologize darling.’’ He exaggerates making me muse as he stops and hovers over the bed.
‘’Now you are exaggerating Sebastian.’’
‘’Happy wife…’’ I put my hand over his mouth to stop him from finishing the sentence, as I giggle looking at him in astonishment.
‘’Don’t you even dare.’’ I warn letting go of his mouth in favour of grabbing him by his shoulders as he dips down ‘’Seb…’’ I gasp in fright as it begins okay, him bending forward but it ends up in me falling on the bed and him crashing into me leaving me winded from surprise but not the impact.
He burst into laughter whilst I do the same, covering my face for a moment looking at the ceiling above me, Sebastian shaking in my arm from laughter hanging half off the bed.
‘’That was rather…accurate for the two of us.’’ I mumble running my hands up and down his back as he begins to calm down, the corner of his eyes crinkling slightly whole expression lifted and joyful.
‘’Excuse me then dear wife. This was not in my plans.’’ He giggles still greatly amused, only now readjusting himself off me, and manoeuvring the both of us onto the bed sideways still as he doesn’t put any distance between us.
‘’I would sure hope not.’’ I smile cupping his cheeks ‘’Fear not dear husband, I am not made of porcelain.’’ I raise my eyebrows ready for his teasing. He takes a different course, in the form of closing the distance kissing me with more vigour, remaining soft in his ministrations his hand oddly in place.
I kiss him in return trying to calm down my shuddering breath as he steals it literally. Even as I cannot uphold my head upright and fall to lie down, he follows eagerly pressing pecks, kisses over my jawline cheek, cheekily kissing the tip of my nose eyes half closed as he admires for a moment and then returns to reward me with the slow drag of his lips.
I let my hands drop in the meantime, rubbing them over his clothed back. He’s still wide like he used to be, but he has lost his muscles that were built thanks to Imelda’s rigorous training for quidditch. And our adventures too. Not only did he lose his bulk, but also his strength which was proven a few moments ago. A reminder that he has gone through something traumatic.
So due to his hesitant touches, and to be honest my loss of patience I bring my hands forth, over his arms to the front, finding the buttons of the collared shirt I’ve got him to wear. Luckily, he didn’t bother with the waistcoat, so my intention gets quickly realized as I undo the garment.
He breaks the kiss due to my touched, his breath hitching as my hands come in contact with his chest, one of his hands grasping my wrist gently stopping me in my ministrations.
‘’Mc I…’’ he pauses looking between us instead at me, his cheeks, and ears flushed pink.
Wordless I understand him right now. Pulling my hands back I offer a big-closed lip smile his eyes turning to look at me in fright.
‘’It’s okay.’’ I speak softly grabbing the tucked part of my own collared shirt. He shifts in a way that allows me to pull it over my head which leaves me in my chemise, Sebastian looking something between frightened and aroused as he watches me.
‘’I understand, okay?’’ I say slowly as if I’m talking to a frightened creature grasping his hand. I bring it over to my left shoulder pushing the sleeve of my chemise lower to reveal the ugly burn that stretches over my skin ‘’We don't have to do anything. Don't force yourself. We can stop. It's okay. But know that I don't want you any less. You're still you, and I'm still me. Nothing’s changed.’’
As if weak he bends down, resting his forehead against my own. His hand still on my shoulder begins to gently caress my skin whilst I bring my own back to his chest listening watching him intently for any sign of rejection. Not showing any, I proceed to touch him with utmost gentleness tracing over his stomach, chest feeling his bones all the more. This time around I kiss him in distraction, as I push the shirt over his shoulders.
Half expecting him to freeze, I’m left pleasantly surprised as he gets up and begins to push off the material, discharging it behind us. As he sits on his knees above me chest noticeably moving as he’s breathing heavily, I’m the one who’s left admiring him.
Even covered in tiny scars, scraps and hair, he’s still my Sebastian. Even this fragile and tired looking I see the fire in his eyes.
‘’Ohh Sebastian!’’ I exclaim following with a fit of giggles as his veiny hands, which I notice only now reach for the belt of my trousers. I leave my hands to rest next to my head smiling at the manhandling that he is doing.
‘’You said you weren’t fragile.’’ He taunts licking his lower lip, as the belt comes undone and is pulled off, his hands clumsy as he tears the button of my trousers off.
‘’I am not.’’ I agree watching him delighted in how he begins to pull down the clothing along with my winter socks ‘’Are you in a rush darling?’’ I bite onto my lower lip, watching as he gets rid of his own pants, rather clumsily kicking them off ‘’My, my what a pleasant sight to be blessed with.’’ I arch an eyebrow looking him up and down.
He’s quick to climb back atop of me this time nestling his hips between my legs, delivering a kiss to my shoulder the action surprising me making me blush ‘’Hey that was my line Mc.’’ He swops down to kiss me but briefly as he rolls his hips into me leaving me lost for words and my thoughts derailed at his sudden boldness.
‘’You’ve grown daring over the years.’’ He notes breaking the kiss, returning to leave kisses over the other side of my cheek, descending down my neck ‘’Shameless?’’ he asks beginning to roll his hips against me, the lack of clothing much more revealing obviously.
It’s not that our undergarments are see through, but they are made of light materials. Which enables me to fully feel him against my core. And o my gods…
I groan at a particularly prominent thrust, which pushes me higher up Sebastian not leaving for a moment, simply continuing with whatever he has in store the deviant now proceeding to mark me above my collarbones.
‘’Fearless.’’ He speaks up pressing kisses against my scar, his lips his touches making me flinch initially. But he’s holding me down tenderly, pushing the chemise lower revealing more of my skin. Revealing more of the imperfections – scars I’ve earned in his absence.
‘’You are giving me too much praise, Sebastian.’’ I frown a little, letting my fingers dance over his chest, and to his sides, his hipbones.
‘’Not nearly enough.’’ He raises above me, looking like a man entranced re-connecting our lips together, this time letting his tongue run over my bottom lip making me hum in appreciation. Growing confident due to his actions, I wrap my legs over the back of his thighs attempting to press him harder against him, his rhythm now stuttering as I grab his arse, squeezing.
He breaks the kiss offering a mischievous smirk ‘’Diabolical. Absolutely diabolical.’’
I grin at that, showing him my tongue to further entice him. Which works perfectly. He grasps my hand like a gentleman actually, prying my hands away from his still perky ass pinning my arms to the sides of my head smirking down at me not breaking eye contact.
‘’You are the love of my life.’’ The statement has me blinking a few times as I look up at him stunned ‘’My everything.’’
Unable to respond Sebastian takes the lead, taking the approach as he did in the beginning. His hold, his closeness, his kissing all gentle and slow. It gives me the sense as if…as if he’s imprinting this into his memory. Because the more we progress, and his hips begin to rut against me harder, the more I have this feeling as if he is plagued by something.
And I understand it. Giving into him, relaxing on the bed letting him take what he desires even if that means my lips will remain bruised, and climax delayed. It’s all about him.
‘’Oh Seb…’’ I moan into his mouth, shifting my hips to accommodate him further seeing the need in the glare he offers. His freckled skin is so prettily flushed, hair messy, and skin slightly damp as the room grows hotter ‘’You feel so good against me…’’ I encourage nodding pulling my right hand away to push the lose strands from his forehead smiling as he kisses my wrist in the progress, panting softly.
‘’Missed you…’’ he says strained, moving us his hardness I’m sure throbbing as it makes a mess out of me rubbing against my clit on and off again rising tingles under my fingertips ‘’…my pretty girl.’’ I smile at the compliment, dragging the top of my nails down his chest his shudder loud as he intakes breath quickly, his left hand grabbing a hold of my thigh twisting it higher the change in position making me throwback my head, as he parts my soaked folds even through the now ruined fabric.
‘’So pretty…’’ he pants biting into his lower lip, head falling next to my own. He keeps moving, and my hand keeps progressing, finally reaching the band of his undergarment, slipping my fingers inside the dampness ‘’Oh MC!’’ he suddenly grunts, as my fingers barely touch his hot and leaking manhood.
His hand like before is quick in catching and stopping my own from progressing, as he convulses and twitches, hip stuttering regularly.
Caught off guard I merely watch him dumbfounded as something warm and wet grazes against my fingers and palm, his hold preventing me from doing anything else. So, I remain still and accommodating until he slows to a gradual stop, still twitching now and then even as he releases my hand, letting me examine the fluid.
‘’I think I’ve died.’’ He utters into my neck, his breath ticklish making me smile as I bring my hand to my lips and taste him ‘’Oh I’m definitely dead.’’ His voice dips lower.
Peeking at him he’s looking at me as if I’ve put the stars in the sky, while I click my tongue ‘’I don’t think so husband dearest.’’ I smile affectionally, pushing him lightly of me and to the side, rolling on my left to face him, fingers wiped on the comforter.
‘’This must be it. The afterlife.’’ He dramatically chats ahead rolling onto his back sighing whilst I get up following him, pushing down the chemise further revealing my torso entirely, sitting next to him. He peeks at me, eyes taking me all in blush returning immediately ‘’You fair maiden, like a siren coating me into a demise I’ll gladly plumet into.’’
I grin at his poetry dipping down to kiss him gently, his right hand warm as it settles over my lower back resting there ‘’That would make us both dead.’’ I point out musing ‘’I for one am enjoying my married life very much.’’ He perks at that.
‘’A dream come, true.’’
I remain close bend over, half resting on his chest admiring him ‘’Oh its very much so a reality.’’ I begin sighing contently tracing his face with my left and free hand ‘’You and me, together again.’’ I pause to let it sink in ‘’Never to be separated again.’’ I silently promise, certain of my words as I know I will stop at nothing to protect him ‘’You are my everything too.’’ I admit seeing how his eyes slightly widen.
‘’My whole reason of being.’’ I whisper as I lean down, staring into his pretty eyes, my gaze slipping only to his lips and back up to capture them. He moans breathlessly into the kiss which is neither slow nor speedy. I keep it simple and rather, light as I focus on pushing the chemise lower whilst I climb onto his lap, my hair falling around our faces like a curtain.
‘’My Sebastian.’’ I break the kiss, imitating him from before but taking more time almost torturously so but in the best away possible as I kiss the corner of his nose, his temple, above his relaxed brown, then begin my descend down his cheek ‘’Handsome as ever.’’ I let my tongue dart out teasingly ‘’Drawing me in with your mere presence. Enough to keep me wanting you for years.’’ I groan, as I trace the side vein in his neck, still merely kissing him feeling how his hands push away the fabric of my chemise hands resting over my hips, trembling as I put a hold under his chin, directing his head in the way I want to. And he goes along with it.
He lets out little sighs, at the contact of my lips over his skin, specially whenever I ghost over a scar. I buckle my hips against his abdomen, his body jerking automatically which raises chuckles from him his whine loud.
‘’You even sound pretty.’’ I praise happily sitting up looking down at him. Seeing him breathless already, pleading eyes staring at me hair messy heart racing. Oh, how I’ve longed for him.
‘’Dashing.’’ I drag both hands, using my blunt nails to run down his chest watching as goosebumps arise over his skin ‘’Stunning, dapper, noble. There are not enough words to describe how amazing you are.’’ I lean down to steal a kiss giggling like a schoolgirl as I pull back Sebastian following. With a hand planted onto his chest I stop him in his tracks, winking. Lowering myself over his thigh I raise an eyebrow which I’m sure makes me look menacing as I can see his Adam’s apple bob.
‘’All I say it’s true. I’ve left you speechless.’’ I tease grasping the waistband, and without a second though pull down the fabric, watching as his manhood bobs up onto his stomach, body twitching again, his legs obviously in place as I’m settled on him.
‘’N-not true.’’ He gets out rising onto his elbows, as I observe the remnants of his release. Seeing there is to be a lot more movement and manoeuvring to get him rid of his undergarment, I grab the material and with some strength put into it tear it apart, Sebastian left with his mouth parted in a small ‘o’ shape.
‘’Ah it’s all very true.’’ I continue letting the now ruined material fall of the edge of the bed as I lie myself between his legs, my own hanging of the bed. Meanwhile I let my hands run up and down his thighs, smiling up at him ‘’I was never able to lie to you. I don’t see the appeal of trying it now.’’ I cheekily say, dipping down to press a kiss onto the side of his inner thigh, the muscles tensing at my ministration.
‘’Shhh relax, my love. Relax.’’ I encourage, looking up at him. I run my nails over his other thigh, whilst starting to suck lovely marks that will bloom later for a reminder.
‘’Enchantress.’’ He grinds through his teeth ‘’A divinity.’’
Thanks to his high praise I let my tongue out, dragging it over his thigh making a show of it ending up moving up like a predator keeping my gaze as such, chin tilted downwards as I lick at his half-hard cock the twitch immediate.
‘’It’s merely me, Sebastian.’’ I say in a low tone, grasping his manhood with my right hand rising it up taking it in, the veins, the head, everything only after looking at him. He looks destroyed already, something I always dreamed of seeing ‘’Only me.’’
And with that I experimentally suck on his tip, the groan he lets out sounding like someone is strangling him whilst his body tenses hands grasping the duvet underneath us twisting it.
With some focus I pry my left hand from his thigh, taking his hand in my own his hold tense. It doesn’t deter me, as I run my tongue over the mushroom head licking the excessive precum, not enjoying the taste but enduring it gladly, seeing how he keeps trashing – and I’ve barely done anything.
Giving him some mercy thanks to the pleading look he gives me I relent, and begin to sink on his cock, flattening my tongue as I descend, closing my eyes as I concentrate on my breathing. I barely get him in my gag reflex already making my throat contract, so I help myself with my right hand, droll dripping from my lips.
Ignoring the tears in my eyes I push forward sucking once, making it my mission to please him further by sinking more.
‘’No, no, no stop, Mc please…’’ he raises up hands gentle as they cup my cheeks pulling me off him. I gasp for air, not minding the spilled tears or droll. Neither does he as he’s quick to wipe them.
‘’I’m sorry I didn’t mean…’’ I begin to panic thinking I did something wrong, and that didn’t like, even as he shakes his head his smile shaky at best, the kiss that follows not so reassuring.
‘’You did wonderful.’’ He breaks away to reassure me holding onto me firmly, readjusting his hold so he can manhandle me this time to sit back, higher over his thighs and to be level with him ‘’You’re a minx, a temptress you are. More perfect than I ever imagined I swear it.’’ He grins happily pressing a chaste kiss ‘’But I don’t want to cum so soon.’’ He looks at me in despair mixed with hope.
‘’You…wow…’’ it daunts on me his extreme reaction, as I observe his face needing to make sure he is telling me the truth ‘’Okay.’’ I find myself saying his smile winning over my heart all over again as he pulls me against him, his cock right underneath me, hot and hard.
‘’I simply cannot resist you.’’ He confesses hugging me for the moment being ‘’You are truly everything to me. You’re too good to me. I want to make you feel good too.’’ and with those words and his strategically placed hands on my chemise he rips the pants portion at first, ending up destroying it with more ease than I did pulling the material away from us.
‘’You already make me feel good.’’ I state planting my knees into the mattress, my right-hand dipping between us, and through my slit collecting the wetness which I then raise up ‘’See?’’ my tongue lowers again. I hold his chin with my left hand, offering two of my fingers. He gets the hint opening his mouth tongue peeking out to which I let him taste me ‘’Hmmm.’’ I moan lightly smirking, pulling my fingers out.
I grasp his dominant hand dipping both of our hands to my folds, the astonishment on his face one I shall remember forever, as he does a double take, his fingers departing from my own making me shudder and groan as he touches my clit.
‘’See what you do to me?’’ I begin my breathing slightly unsteady as he doesn’t pull away ‘’Feel how wet I am for you. What you do to me Sebastian.’’ I gasp as one finger prods at my entrance, entering me gradually his face one of concentration and observation.
A face I’ve seen many times before when we were studying. But never have I seen it in this context which sheds a whole new light on him. He nods at my words slowly ‘’Guess what?’’ I grin close to press my lips against his ear to be a tease, while he wiggles in a second fingers making me sigh at being finally touched ‘’This is all you. Noone else can do this to me. Only you. Always you.’’
He moans at that, ending up groaning as he pulls his fingers out, rolling us on the bed, time for laughter over as I’m once more on my back, but with him spreading my legs wide open making a place for himself between them, his manhood hot as he rubs it against my wet folds.
Bent over, one hand reaches to hold the back of my head angling me however he wants me, his lips bruising as he demands all of my attention. And it’s what he gets as I moan helpless as his cock begins to push inside me. He breaks apart as if in disbelief, gasping for air the bravado gone the more he pushes in, the stretch pleasant and exciting as I want him to hurry along.
But lost in the way he’s handling us, the way he feels, I get lost in the way he looks how intense this is for him, how taunt he goes once he bottoms out, looking at me incredulously.
‘’It’s not a dream.’’ I find myself saying grasping his head forcing him to stay grounded ‘’It is all real.’’ I grin seeing the wobble in his lower lip ‘’My husband.’’ I remind by showing him my ring, ending up dropping onto the bed, as he thrust catching me of guard.
‘’Whow.’’ I say in awe blinking up at him and then glancing down to see us connected.
‘’My wife.’’ He finally speaks ‘’Mc.’’ He says my name clearer to which I nod.
‘’Yours Seb. Only yours.’’ I reassure my body this time jerking as he pulls back and rather harshly thrust back in. It’s proof of inexperience and the fact that he is driven by need mirrors our days in school perfectly. We’d fool around, take risks, we’ve explored each other’s bodies, and have been each other firsts. But it sadly didn’t go further as he was taken prisoner soon after our night of love-making that resulted in some tears but unbroken promises.
‘’M-mine. Only mine Mc.’’ He nods vigorously repositioning his hand, one on my hip one on the bed a look of determination drawing itself across his features ‘’Mine.’’ He says like it’s a matter of fact, pulling back only to set up a rather ruthless pace. Having imagined our reunion in these kinds of circumstances as well – because I have needs to duh – I’ve not imagined him to be like he is.
To just take from the get-go in such a manner. He was always delicate when it came to the more intimate matters, even with his eagerness and firey passion. I can see both of that here, I can feel it in the way he’s changing and angling his hips differently, eyes focused solemnly on my face as I hold onto the bed for dear life, the feeling of what were merely tingles before now turned into live sparks, that are zapping through my body.
It has my toes and fingers curling, the need to curl in on myself great as my thighs begin to shake, my lower abdomen pooling with insane amount of heat. It has tears gather in my eyes once more but this time for other reasons as I feel good all over it being overwhelming.
I practically shout as something brushes my clit. It has me forcing my eyes open as I see Sebastian lick his fingers and drop it to my clitoris, his hand calloused and rough but oh my gods its perfect and exactly what I crave for. What I need.
‘’That’s it, Mc.’’ He approves a small smile forming on his lips ‘’You feel so good.’’ His jaw goes tight as he clenches his teeth, suddenly pinching my clit.
‘’Ah fuckkkk Sebastian.’’ I yelp shaking my head ‘’Harder, fuck me harder, I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum…’’ I repeat like a broken record suddenly hugging myself keeping my breast from bouncing as an electric current is running all over.
‘’And who is making you…ugh…cum huh? Who is the one…ahhh, cherishing you like you deserve…ugh to be?’’ he says through his teeth, his gaze wild as he stops for a moment twisting my left leg over his chest and shoulder changing everything entirely the new angle, making my eyes cross over one of Sebastian’s hands pushing my arms away as he grabs onto my boob, squeezing it.
‘’Y-y-you.’’ I reply shakily having a death grip on his arm not knowing what else to do. It’s hard to process that I need to breathe at the moment, my body doing things on its own.
‘’I didn’t hear you, dear wife.’’ He barks with an edge in his voice. His eyes. His demeanour.
But it’s not enough to make me realize it, as he leaves me absolutely dumb on his cock, the only thing on my mind selfishly is to cum.
‘’You, you, you, you Sebastian.’’ I speak strained my muscles contracting, as his hand resumes circling my clit sealing the deal ‘’My Sebastian, mine.’’ I babble, eyes closing tight as white noise fills my ears barely registering the noises I’m still making, only feeling how he rocks against me, how he moves so precise and hard the orgasm washing over otherworldly as it keeps going on.
Faintly I am aware of Sebastian manoeuvring me into another pose, continuing past the shakes and trembles that overrun everything else. Sooner or later something in my brain kicks it into gear to pump air into my lungs as I breathe heavily, enjoying the tingling but otherwise spent.
Feeling an arm settle over my stomach is what encourages me to come back so to speak. I raise a hand up to wipe away the corner of my eyes only then prompting them open. Looking around I acknowledge we have been turned to lie comfortably on the bed with our heads cushioned against the pillows.
Or well…mine. Glancing down feeling the heat radiating on my right it’s Sebastian. Instead of backing away like I’d assume men would do, he has plastered himself onto my right side, using my bicep as a cushion, one arm thrown over my mid-section, one leg over my right.
Dropping my arm, I’m surprised to find he is awake and has come to his senses quicker than I have as he grasps my left hand, fingers dancing with my own. It doesn’t take him long to feel the outline of the wedding ring.
‘’I didn’t even get you an engagement ring.’’ He mutters bending my hand holding it above my chest as he examines my hand and the piece of jewellery.
‘’Technically that would be on me too.’’ I think aloud my voice slightly hoarse. Must be the screaming ‘’I did propose and marry us.’’ I snort ‘’Did all the heavy lifting, didn’t I?’’
I turn to look down at him, just as he peeks up at me, fingers intertwining with my own as he rests our hands next to me for comfort.
‘’I did have a ring.’’ Is what he says, the statement leaving me bewildered which I’m not quick enough to hide as he sighs, looking away ‘’I had a few ideas for proposing. A few spots to choose from.’’ He quiets down again. Bending my right hand, I start to caress his back in reassurance.
‘’Knowing you back then, you had the most rageous ideas, didn’t you?’’ I smirk looking ahead of us at the painting I have above the dresser. It’s a muggle painting so it doesn’t move, but it depicts a castle in Scotland. A castle that’s very similar to Hogwarts. It was too charming not to buy.
‘’You’ve no idea.’’ He blows air looking up at me ‘’I think you’d flat out reject me at some of the propositions I had in mind.’’
I laugh ‘’I probably would.’’ I agree looking down to meet his gaze amused. We fall silent.
‘’I tried to tame a dragon…’’
‘’Oh, Seb noo!’’
‘’Heyyyy I was head over heels! I’d do anything! You deserve the best!’’ he rambles as I laugh in amusement observing as he raises onto his left elbow looking at me adoringly ‘’I swear.’’ He chuckles ‘’I was foolish at times and even stupid. But crazy? I was crazily in love with you. And that has not changed.’’ His smile is exactly the smile he used to have back then.
And it slowly daunts on me. Reality sinking in. That he is here to stay. I have finally freed him. He is in my grasp. He still loves me.
‘’Oh hey, no tears. Why the tears?’’ he jumps as they gather quickly and are instant to fall down my cheeks ‘’Mc.’’
Instead of answering I kiss him softly.
‘’I’m just so happy.’’ I admit smiling widely ‘’You make me incredibly happy it’s all.’’
At this he is taken aback features softening, and I’m sure his own eyes filling with tears ‘’Me too Mc. Me too.’’
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// Masterlist 2024 //
Copyright 2024© by barbika1508. All rights reserved.
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poproccks · 4 months
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John Dory Headcannons!
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★ Glove is a compression glove for an old injury; a major burn scar that lines his fingers, palm, and paw pads on his left hand. (Inspired by @teaOwOstache’s comic – I am currently writing a one-shot for them based on their amazing comic.)
★ Has about an inch of white hair from the sheer power of Crimp’s vacuum. I, personally, believe that the vacuum’s power accelerated the talent-leaching tremendously and caused physical effects to show sooner. (Also shown on Bruce and Clay)
★ Various scars from his years of camping, foraging, cooking, hunting, and other things related to the nomad life.
★ He is the third tallest of his brothers, being almost the same height as Bruce. Second shortest of Brozone.
★ He was left-handed before the burn incident – and had to reteach himself how to write with his right hand instead since his left hand shakes too badly to write properly now. His handwriting, while improved, still isn't as good as it used to be.
★ Has nightmares occasionally like Branch. I like to imagine they bond slightly over that fact once they do get closer – obviously, it's still nothing like Branch’s and Floyd's relationship.
★ Building off the last point, JD tries not to feel too bitter about the close relationship they have. He realizes that the fractured relationships he has with all of his brothers are his own doing. He’s doing his best to get to know them all now and learn about their interests and hobbies. JD still walks on eggshells around them all about 60% of the time after a few more major blow ups between them. He is John Dory, however, so he still crosses lines many times by accident.
★ Thickest and fluffiest tail of Brozone (more of a general HC but, tail hair/fur can move like Troll head hair/fur.)
★ Very active, and regularly takes walks, runs, etc around Pop Village to keep up his fitness.
★ Found Rhonda when he was in his early 20’s and she was a much smaller bug bus. (Inspired by @ohposhers) She grew rather quickly after that and they became inseparable. John Dory handles all of her repairs and anything to do with her healthcare. He becomes very anxious when he has to pass that responsibility to anyone else. Branch took care of an ailing Rhonda once because he was the only one in the village with the needed materials and ingredients for the medicine. (“Who's crazy now? Me. Crazy prepared,) The dull-toned troll basically had to beat John off with a stick to get him to listen/let him help the poor bus, basically like a Helicopter parent. I genuinely believe without her, John Dory would absolutely crumble. Troll dust.
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★ Stay’s in Branch’s bunker the most of the four others, besides Floyd who decided to move to Pop Village. When he’s feeling especially bad or wants to be alone, he will still retreat into Rhonda. She is basically an oversized security blanket.
★ Smells like either dust, fresh dirt, or rain. Definitely smells like something naturey. Branch smells like things similar, but it’s noticeably different.
★ Usually ALWAYS has something stuck in his hair or tail, no matter how small. Dust bunnies from exploring or helping clean, leaves, branches (ha), and other miscellaneous things.
★ Usually has the following in his hair pocket dimension; 2-3 bandaids, an extra glove, chapstick that he always loses, granola bars, and a small thing of water; just in case. Oh, and treats for Rhonda.
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★ Carries an old family photo of his brothers and Grandma Rosiepuff from right after Branch hatched. His parents were also in it, but have long been torn out.
★ His goggles, past and present, were from his father (Also inspired by @teaOwOstache) and so he takes begrudgingly good and meticulous care of them.
★ Definitely a victim of parentification/older sibling syndrome. (I’m not projecting, you are.)
★ The order of brothers he bonds or reconnects with the easiest to hardest; Floyd, Bruce, Clay, Branch.
★ Suffers from aches and pains when it's cold or rainy out. He refuses to admit it is because of age.
★ Self soothes by pulling at his jacket, running his fingers along the zipper teeth, or adjusting his goggles when anxious.
★ If he doesn’t want to make eye contact or is crying or about to, he’ll pull his goggles on. It’s easier to hide than to explain. He gets better about talking about it but emotions are always a sore subject and difficult for him.
★ Like most Trolls, John Dory can hiss, growl, and purr.
★ Dark blue paw pads, with blunt nails with chipped polish.
★ When he went back to the troll tree pod, after mourning what could have been, he collected mementos of his brothers and his grandma; Branch’s old baby blanket, Floyd’s old plushie, Bruce’s old hoodie, One of Clay’s old books and a blacket Rosiepuff knitted long ago. They’re hidden in a box on Rhonda.
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idkfitememate · 4 months
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I am CRYING. FURINA MY BABY YOUR TEAPOT LINES MAKE ME CRY. SHES SO INNOCENT BUT SHES BEEN SO TRAUMATIZED IT HURTS ME. WHY FOCALORS WHY.
😭😭 Furina asks us to dress up as a duo with her. And she said she’d even do our makeup. She’s trying to take back her stolen childhood. MY EYES ARE PUFFY FROM TEARS.
DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE ‘the more you let someone in the easier it is for them to hurt you’ LINE. SHES SCARED TO LET PPL IN AND IM WAILING.
I wanna give her all my love and affection!!! 😭
-🦌 anon, who is curled up on the floor crying
Forcing Furina on a bed wasn’t easy. The entire day was spent with and you having a “bonding day” and spend the day inside.
Makeup and clothes whirled past in a blur of blues and makeup was pressed into your fur. The entire day was fun, eating snacks and overall just having fun.
At least, it would be if you didn’t notice the sadness behind Furina’s eyes.
Every time she looked at you in your frilly little dress with a big blue bow around your waist and a smaller blue and gold bow around your head.
Now, you’d be a little ticked at being forced into an outfit, but seeing her on the verge of tears when you began to shake your head no - no matter how much she would deny it - you forced your pride down your throat and and put it on.
Her smile was worth it.
The entire day you could just feel her off-ness, and you’re pretty sure you know why. The events pertaining her curse and the death of that bi- I mean Foçalors had just passed and Furina was finally free.
Free to be human once more.
You, knowing the lore, knew that she had suffered with being alive - unchanging and never aging - for five-hundred-years. You knew that both Foçalors and Neuvillette understood that that would have and has had lasting effects on the poor girl.
But you knew they’d never understand. How could they? They were immortal. They had to get used to the passing of the ones they knew if they were mortal because they were literally built for it. Furina wasn’t. She never was.
And now that she was free, she was coming. Crashing down.
The curtain had fallen and the star of the show has fallen to her knees. Her tears stain the floor as the crowd leaves and her wails echo through the empty halls.
To be honest you haven’t seen much of Neuvillette around. You understood that he had new issues to attend to as the new overseer of the nation of Fontaine. But you barely see him in the halal’s anymore.
Your thoughts were immediately halted when you heard small sniffles coming from your friend.
Your head whipped in her direction only to see tears pouring down her face. You rushed over as fast as you could, wiping those tears away as you gently chittered at her, pulling her crumpled form up so she could face you. At your concerned expression, she only cried more.
“I-It’s just,” she started, “… Did she ever love me? Was I ever even worth anything to her? I played my part and danced till collapse and I didn’t even get a thank you! I don’t understand… I watched my friends die… I watched my f-family die… I outlived all of them! And I didn’t… even… get a thank you…” She broke down back into sobs, holding onto herself as she rocked back and forth.
You could only watch as she shattered in front of you. Pain and guilt rose in your stomachs as you stared. Huffing, you jumped off the bed, and grabbed your stuffed jellyfish, dragging it over and throwing it up before climbing up after her.
You gently nudged it towards her and made sure she grabbed on before jumping back down and racing through the halls.
You ran out the building as fast as your little legs could carry you, the winds of Teyvat boosting your form farther. You continued on until to made it to the Opera Eclipse and ran through there until you made it to Neuvillette’s office.
You didn’t even bother to knock before shoving to door open and rushing up to him. He stopped his writing and looked down, his eyes softening at you. He opened his mouth to speak before you grabbed his sleeve. You yanked and pulled and he finally stood up, allowing you to lead him.
Making it back home, you all but forced the man into Furina’s room, and forced him on the bed. She had stopped sobbing by this point, but silent tears still ran down her face.
She looked shocked at Neuvillette’s appearance and he looked shocked at her dishevelment. You shuffled up to her in the ridiculous dress you had on - you would later find out it perfectly match the dress Furina had on when she came into being, after being separated from Foçalors - and part her lips.
“Do you… wish for me to repeat myself?” She whispered, looking at the slightly panting Neuvillette with worry. But at your nod she sighed, realizing why you did this.
And if her Otter wanted something, who was she to deny them that.
When she parted her lips you leapt from the bed, and walked out of the room to give them privacy. You could tell she hesitated at your lack of presence, but hearing her start to speak after you closed the door, you wagged your little tail in relief.
Staring towards the kitchen, you planned on getting them both nice tall glasses of water.
And by the time you got back and managed to open the door, you were met with Neuvillette holding the girl close and shushing her, a light patter of rain outside.
“Of course we’re grateful. I’m grateful. I am so sorry my Lady that I had neglected you. I will say it until the stars and the moon itself command me to stop that you are appreciated. That I care. And though I cannot speak for her fully I can say that my Ar- … Foçalors did care for you. And she loved you. I love you. I care for you. I will never understand the trials of being human and I know that what she did is irreversible, but I do want to be there.” He continued to speak to the crying child in his arms, neither noticing you walking in while dragging the glasses of water in.
Making a small noise, the Sovereign looked down and smiled at you, though you could see the tears in his eyes. He picked you up then the glasses, handing one to Furina who was still clutching your plushy.
“And I can also say that our darling here loves you and cares.” Neuvillette mused, running a hand quickly through your fur.
You chuffed in response and licked the girls face causing a giggle to escape her throat.
Here she was wanted. Here she was needed. Here she was loved.
And you were going to do your damndest to make sure it stays that way.
Wanna hug her and hold her and give her kisses on the cheek and UGH- My baby໒꒰ྀི ╥﹏╥ ꒱ྀིა
I personally think she’s like… a teen. She looks like a teen. So imagine being in a mental state of an adult with the emotional state of a child and being forced to watch everyone you know and love die. I couldn’t do it she is so strong but I STILL WANNA HOLD HER MY BABY!!! ૮꒰ ˶꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ˶꒱ა
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justagiantpotato · 12 days
Text
Okay, hear me out; G/t massages.
The people who have recieved massages know how good it feels and I personally also like giving them.
Now make that g/t.
A tiny having aches or a pulled muscle; complaining to their giant (or not), the giant offers a massage. It depends on the size difference, but; giving/recieving a massage by a finger, or a large hand, the gentle pressure slowly easing their pain and discomfort. It takes such control to be able to push enough but not too much and they’ve done it perfectly.
Or the other way around. Giant complaines about discomfort, tiny offers to help. The giant might laugh that it might not do much for them, but they're willing to try. With a smaller size difference the tiny can be quite effective; small hands massaging the groove of large shoulders, sliding down their spine, continuing to the small of their back. Pressing down hard, the giant’s discomfort eases. A contented sigh erupts out of them and they might suggest to do this more or to repeat the same for the tiny.
For a bigger size difference, face massages are an option. The giant has a splitting headache and they don’t know what to do. They are tempted to bash their head into a wall. Tiny to the rescue; begs giant to lay down and let them help. They easily find the pressure points on the upscaled face, between the eyes and on the temples. They sit on the giant’s nose and talk to them in a soothing voice as they press and rub circles on their forehead. The giant’s pain eases.
Ah, being touch-starved hits me like a train some days.
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secret-sturniolo · 6 months
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scars to your beautiful - matt sturniolo
summary - When Matt has a sinking feeling about y/n, he takes matters into his own hands to make sure she is okay.
warnings - discussions of self harm, eating disorders, body image (no super graphic details)
a/n - this is based off of some of my own experiences and mental health issues. there will be no graphic imagery or details, but please do not read or interact if this will be a trigger for you.
Matt's POV
I had been asking our friend y/n to hang out with us for weeks now, and in that time my brothers and I had only seen her a handful of times. This was extremely out of character for the bubbly, out going girl that we knew. I had brought this up with Chris and Nick, but they figured that she just needed some space. While that may be true, I still had a bad feeling about y/n that I couldn't shake. I finally decided to call her.
Y/n's POV
I had been holed up in my room for the past few weeks, just idly scrolling through pictures of skinny, beautiful girls on Instagram. I had hit an all time low. Baggy clothes covered my shrinking frame and my red striped arms. It had been days since I had something proper to eat, and my body was feeling the effects. Even though I was so dizzy I could barely stand up, I repeated the mantra in my head. Beauty is pain, beauty is pain. And I would do anything to be pretty. I was past the point of feeling sadness. I was completely devoid of feelings, numb to the world, including my best friends. I knew they were probably worried about me, but I didn't care. I was too focused on the pictures and the razors. In the darkness, my phone screen lit up with Matt's contact.
A facetime call, dammit. I couldn't let Matt see me like this, so ignored the call and just let it ring, not worried about the possible consequences.
y/n, i'm worried about you. please call me. 7:45pm
I stared at the screen, my fingers frozen. Guilt washes over me as I realized how worried Matt was. More thoughts come flooding in.
You have to be pretty for Matt
He'll never like you if you look like that
I toss my phone aside not noticing my new notification, mind made up about what I was going to do next as I walk to my bathroom.
if you don't answer me, im coming over 7:57pm
alright, im coming over. be there in 5 8:00pm
Matt's POV
"Damn it!" I say out loud after there is no answer. I sent her a text, hoping she would call me back. When she didn't respond, I sent a few more messages, silently begging her to respond. Still nothing. My stomach was in knots as I walked out of my room to the living room where Nick and Chris were watching a movie.
"I'm going to y/n's place. Something's wrong, I know it." I say in a panic.
"Woah, Matt, hold on. Did you try calling her?" Nick asks me.
"Yeah, and I sent her texts and shes not responding. It's not like her, Nick."
"Do you want us to come with?" Chris asks me.
"No, I think it's better if I just go," I say, grabbing my keys. "I don't know when I'll be back but I'll let you know."
The drive to y/n's apartment is short as she only lives a few blocks away from our place. I find her spare key from my keychain and unlock the door.
"Y/n?" I yell, with no response.
Wasting no time, I walk towards her bedroom. The room was dark, only illuminated by the light from the bathroom creeping under the door. As I get closer to the door, I could hear faint crying. I say her name again, knocking softly on the door.
"Y/n, its Matt. I'm coming in."
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I opened the bathroom door. She was sitting on the floor, back against the wall with a sharp object in her hand. I took in the red on her arms, the arms that looked smaller than I remembered, and the pill bottle in her other hand. Her eyes were dark and sunken in, she looked so sick and fragile.
Where do I even start? I thought.
Y/n's POV
I had no idea anybody was even here until the bathroom door opened, and I saw Matt standing there. His face was filled with worry as he took everything in. I burst into tears, finally feeling everything at once. Without saying anything, he moved to sit down on the floor next to me, pulling me into his chest. I breathed in the scent of his cologne as I tried to match his breathing, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner. I had no idea..."
"You weren't supposed to know, Matt!" I sob. He lets me cry into his arms for a few more minutes before speaking again.
"Y/n, you need to tell me what's going on. Have you been eating?" he says gently but sternly.
I buried my face in my hands. "Matt, I can't tell you!"
"You know you can tell me anything, y/n. Talk to me, please." he pleads.
I broke down and told him everything.
"I don't know what to do, Matt! I can't stop. It just feels so right!"
"But why, y/n? Why did this start, did something happen?" He looks into my eyes.
"I just want to be pretty for you, Matt!" I sob.
He pauses. "For me? Y/n, I've always thought you were the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. You shouldn't change yourself for anyone, especially not for me."
"Can you help me Matt? Like, help me get better?" I ask him genuinely.
"Of course, y/n I will always be here for you." he says. "I want to get you cleaned up, do you have a first aid kit anywhere?"
"There should be one in that drawer." I point with a sniffle.
I watch as Matt gently cleans and bandages my wounds. As he finished up, I grabbed his hand.
"Matt?"
"Hm?"
"I - I love you." I stutter out.
His lips form a smile. "I love you too, y/n. So much."
We both lean in for a quick but passionate kiss, not wanting to go overboard in this moment.
"Can we go to bed?" I ask him.
"Of course, let me text Nick and Chris so they don't worry."
He sends a quick text to his brothers saying he's spending the night at my place, and then helps me up off the ground, carrying me to my bed. He slides his hoodie and shirt off before climbing under the covers with me. I lay my head on his chest, feeling the soft rise and fall of his breathing. He must have sensed my anxiety.
"Hey, it's all gonna be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen between you and I, I promise it's all for the better. Just go to sleep, and we can talk in the morning." He places a gentle kiss on my head.
God, it's like he can read my mind I thought to myself. I trusted his words, and for the first time in a long time, I finally felt safe.
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babydollmarauders · 11 months
Text
HAUNTED — NICO HISCHIER
nico hischier x fem!reader
part of the Speak Now Fic List
summary: in which y/n struggles through the aftermath of the end of she and Nico's relationship, when she thought it would never end.
specific lyrics: “come on, don’t leave me like this. i thought i had you figured out. something’s gone terribly wrong. you’re all i wanted.” and “stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had.” and “he will try to take away my pain, and he just might make me smile; but the whole time, i’m wishing he was you instead.” and “something keeps me holding on to nothing.”
notes: i’m gonna be honest, going into this, i had absolutely no idea what to do for this. so, i’m sorry that it’s pretty short and if it’s boring. anyways, this is for kei!
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my breath hitches in my throat, the walls of the apartment suddenly feeling so much smaller than they actually are.
“i’m sorry, y/n.” Nico’s accent cuts through the silence, effectively shattering my frozen state.
i blink furiously, attempting to push back the tears that have risen to the surface of my eyes.
“just like that? you’re just, ending us?” my voice is meek. frail. “don’t leave me like this, Neeks, please.”
“i’m sorry.” he repeats, lifting his duffel bag off the floor and slinging it over his shoulder. “i just think we’ve run our course.”
i watch in a state of despair as the man i love walks away, leaving our relationship broken behind him.
four years of dating, six years of friendship altogether, and he left it all behind so easily.
my knees buckle and i drop to the couch cushions, my mind racing.
we got each other so well. sure, our relationship has been a little rocky lately, a few small fights here and there, but i never thought i’d live to see us break.
the last thing i expected when i got home from work was to see my boyfriend, now ex, packing his things.
but he did it all so smoothly. there were no tears from his end, no stuttering, no doubts. just a simple ‘i’m moving in with Jack for now. i think we should break up.’
all the ‘i love you’s, and the thoughts about marriage and our future; they all seem fraudulent now. as if he never meant them at all. and if he ever did, then i don’t understand how ending our relationship could be so easy for him.
*** 1 MONTH LATER ***
my keys jingle as i push open the door to the apartment, dropping my purse on the entryway table and slipping the flats off of my feet.
i breath in a deep breath, attempting to calm myself before i walk further into the apartment. what used to be a home to me has become nothing but a living quarters now. nothing, or more specifically, no one here to make it feel like an actual home.
i steel myself. bracing myself, as i do every night, to walk into the room that it all went down. a month has passed since Nico left me in our living room, but i’m still haunted by the memory of it all. every time i come home, i’m tormented by the recollection of our break up.
i no longer come home to the sound of the tv on, or pots and pans clashing as my boyfriend cooks dinner. instead i’m welcomed by silence. darkness plagues the house as i walk throughout, flipping on light switches as i go.
my feet pad against the cold wooden floor as i make my way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and retrieving a water bottle. i hold it in my hands as i lean over the kitchen island, laying my head down on my arms.
i can’t keep doing this. still hoping, a month later, that he’ll come back. that this was all just a sick prank. that he still loves me. i can’t keep holding onto a relationship that’s no longer there. i’m holding onto nothing.
a knock echoes through the apartment and my head pops up. i wasn’t expecting anyone.
a little thought at the back of my mind can’t help but wonder if it’s Nico. if he’s finally come back. but i try and suppress that thought as i fast-walk towards the door, trying not to get my hopes up. but, it doesn’t work and my hopes are severely crushed when i open the door to find John on the other side.
“hey, John. did you need something?” it’s not unusual for me to still see a few of the Devils players; many of them live in this apartment building and i’ve known them for years, the product of dating their captain for so long.
“i brought pizza.” the defenseman holds up a pizza box, giving me a smile.
“okay?” i open the door wider, allowing him to bypass me and walk into the apartment. “what are you doing here?”
i sigh, following slowly behind him as he walks into the living room, setting the pizza on the coffee table as he takes a seat on the couch.
for a brief moment, my mind flashes to one of the multiple times Nico and i had the team over for board games and movie nights. when pizza boxes overtook every surface in the place and the men all piled onto our furniture, some on the floor. the thought leaves a ghost of a smile on my lips before i frown again, remembering that’s all over now.
“i haven’t seen you since…” John drifts off, obviously not wanting to finish his sentence.
“since he broke up with me.” my voice breaks slightly. “you can say it. i need to hear it. i need to register that it’s real and not just a nightmare.”
i drop onto the couch beside him, tucking my knees to my chest and averting my eyes to stare at the chipping red polish on my toes.
“i’m sorry, y/n/n.” his hand comes up to rest on my knee, his thumb rubbing in circles in an attempt to comfort me.
“don’t.” i tell him. “don’t apologize like you’re the one that did it. i’m fine.”
it’s not entirely true. i’m fine in the sense that i’m not emotionally debilitated anymore. but i’m not completely fine. i can’t guarantee i ever will be.
“you’re not.” John sees right through my lie. “and that’s okay. no one is saying you have to be.”
his words bring tears to my eyes and i lean into his side, letting him wrap his arm around my shoulders. his hand rubs up and down my arm as i cry into his black t-shirt.
“i just don’t understand.” i confess. “he’s all i ever wanted, he can’t be gone.”
“it’ll be okay, y/n/n. you just gotta give it time.” he tells me.
“i hope you know, i have to ask.” i start, and i know he knows exactly what i’m about to say. “did he say anything to you? did he ever tell you why?”
“no.” he whispers. “he didn’t say anything to me. but even if he did, would you really want to know?”
“do i want to know? no. but, i think i need to know.
“if i ever want to work past it, i think i need closure. which would mean getting more of an answer than ‘our relationship has run its course.’”
“well that sounds like a generic answer if i’ve ever heard one.” he jokes, making me let out a small huff of a laugh.
“you’re telling me.” i jest back.
“well, as much as i love watching you cry-” his sarcasm is obvious, making me roll my eyes. “i didn’t come here to wallow. i came here to take away your pain for a night and remind you that there’s more to life than Nico.
“which means; pizza, tequila, and horror movies.”
i laugh at the combination, sitting back up from his side and looking over at him.
“and where are we gonna get the tequila? because i see pizza, but no alcohol.” i tell him.
“you’re telling me, you don’t have tequila?” he raises an eyebrow in my direction and i send him a joking glare.
“in the freezer.” i grumble, crossing my arms.
“that’s what i thought.” he smirks. “i’ll be right back.”
he pats my knee twice before rising and making his way to the kitchen. he returns with a bottle of chilled casamigos and two shot glasses.
“let’s get this party started.”
he hands me a poured shot, and i down it before he can even finish pouring his own, making him chuckle when he turns back to clink our glasses together.
“okay!” he drags out, making me laugh. “couldn’t even wait for me?”
he sets his shot down, taking my glass and refilling it before picking his back up and handing mine back to me. we clink our glasses together, knocking them back down on the coffee table before throwing them back, the liquor burning our throats.
it feels nice, being able to laugh and smile again with my close friend. but i can’t help the guilt in my heart. the way that i wish i was doing this with Nico instead.
maybe John is right, and in time, i’ll be okay. but for now, i’m still haunted.
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lackablazeical · 4 months
Text
💙🥀Leonardo Hamato🥀💙
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Specific Trigger Warnings -
Stalking, harassment, manipulation, physical/mental/emotional abuse of a partner, objectification of others, threats/acts of violence, yandere-like actions and behavior, violation of consent/boundaries (specifically to actions such as hugging, kissing, snuggling, grabbing, etc.), child neglect
Specific boundaries w/ this character -
Do not glorify/romantize/endorse Leo's actions ("I wish someone cared about me this much" etc etc.)
Do not ship Leo with anyone. At all.
Do not treat Leo as 'fixable' or anything of the like, or imply that he could/should be 'forgiven'.
Do not imply romantic/sexual intention when Leo is touching someone. He just likes physical touch, that is all.
General info -
Leo's birthday is October 27th. He is a Scorpio ♏️
Leo's main love language is physical touch, but he can give love through all five.
Leo is a sex-repulsed Panromantic Vincian man. He can feel romantic attraction but only feels any type of deeper attraction/connection with non-women.
Leo has combined-type ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).
Leo has ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
Personality traits -
Leo is loyal, protective, obsessive, slow-to-anger, charismatic, controlling, manipulative, forgetful, strategic, and vengeful.
Leo doesn't get angry easily. He may get annoyed, but genuine anger is rare and hard to bring out. Often, it's a build-up of small things that makes him lash out, usually violently.
Leo is extremely loyal to those he loves. He will absolutely kill and die for his family, and for Usagi. Family is the most important thing to him, and he will choose them over anything else.
Leo, as a strategist, rarely ever does things without a plan in place. While his actions may seem impulsive or non-sensical, they are often to drive people apart, cause fear/pain, etc. Leo is extremely smart, and knows how to twist situations into his favor.
Leo is a control freak. He can't stand not being in control, and will do whatever it takes to maintain the power he does have. If that means violence, then that means violence.
Leo will spiral and be sent into complete delusion and panic if he's left without affectionate physical contact for too long. He needs it to feel grounded, and he will force the contact if he must to stay sane.
Important details -
His insomnia -
Leo has extremely intense insomnia. This is a result of an error when he was mutated. Originally, Draxum intended for all the brothers to require less sleep, so they could spend more time fighting wars and such. Instead, Leo got an overdose of that specific chemical, resulting in the state we see today, whereas his brothers got off with no ill effects.
He is physically unable to sleep for around a month, but Leo is able to force himself to stay awake for just under around 3-4 months before his body begins to shut down. Leo can't control this, and he is likely to pass out mid-conversation or while doing something because of this.
This insomnia has extreme physical effects on Leo. It results in glassy vision, sluggish movement/behavior, extremely bad memory issues, delusions, inability to concentrate for very long, and carelessness. Leo also has a lower natural heart rate because of this, and his eyes strain more easily. He also has extremely shakey hands, which mostly present themselves when he is typing/drawing/writing.
Leo's siblings don't care for Leo's behavior after being rested, so they often make attempts to keep him awake/wake him up faster. Without intervention, Leo can sleep for days. With intervention, he may get 6-8 hours max.
After being freshly rested -
After Leo has recently gotten sleep, he is noticeably more helpful, respectful, withdrawn, and thoughtful. He is more likely to notice smaller details, remember things better, etc. He is also nicer, and will better listen to things like 'no'.
This state lasts around 1-3 weeks, depending on how much sleep he got previously. He may revert back to his regular behavior faster if exposed to a catalyst (someone made him angry, he gets a look/smell/taste of blood, etc.)
His relationship with Big Mama -
Leo hates Big Mama. He distrusts her and her motives, and hates how she treats Splinter, Mikey, and Donnie. Game recognizes Game, Manipulative recognizes Manipulative.
Leo keeps BM alive exclusively for Splinter and Mikey. He is willing to kill her the second either of them gives him the word.
Leo will be courteous to her if he has to be. He will accept her gifts and call her Mother, but he makes his absolute distain of her very clear. He refuses to be alone with her and will silence anyone trying to tell her personal facts about him violently.
BM was the one who gifted Leo his sword as a sort of peace offering. It didn't work, but he took it anyway. Now, he never goes anywhere without it.
Leo is very strict about BM not knowing about Usagi. He regularly threatens his and Usagi's brothers to stay quiet about Usagi, and makes it clear that it is their necks on the line if he finds out they told her. BM would use Usagi as a pawn to get Leo to listen to her, and Leo refuses to give up his control.
BM is aware of some of the other Miyamotos (specifically Kenichi, Ishida, and Riko) but does not know about Usagi specifically. She just knows that they have more siblings. She also does not know that Leo has a connection with Usagi.
Leo and BM are actually quite similar, with their controlling and manipulative natures. Never tell Leo that, though. Unless you want your head cut off.
His stalking -
Leo began stalking around 10 years old. Most of his targets would only be interests between 1-3 months, before Leo got bored/they died/etc.
Leo has had 36 victims, including Usagi.
Leo does not have a preference when he stalks. Age, gender, species, etc has no effect on who he fixates on. Though he is likely to be more violent/intense towards male/masc people if they are his current focus.
Leo typically treats any death similar to a breakup. He'll cry, stew in his feelings, etc. It annoys the hell out of his entire family. Leo often gets over it quickly.
Leo fixated on Usagi differently because he was introduced to Usagi differently. Leo actually saved him from being mugged, which is the first time Leo had ever felt like an actual hero. This sent him into a complete spiral of obsession, and now Leo only and will only ever have eyes for Usagi.
His dynamic with Usagi -
Leo is an abuser. He is Usagi's abuser. He manipulates him, physically/mentally/emotionally harms him, etc.
Leo does not insult, slap, punch, or put down Usagi. Leo is very verbally affectionate to Usagi, which is one of the reasons people do not pick up on what is really happening.
Leo will bite, shove, pin, yank, choke, throw, or restrain Usagi. He is very controlling of Usagi's movement.
Leo does not explicitly put Usagi down, but will make Usagi feel powerless, dependent, etc. As example, Leo would NEVER say "You're nothing without me", but he WOULD say "where would you be without me?"
Usagi barters time and affection with Leo to get Leo to let him do what he wants. Leo often only properly upholds these deals around half the time. This could be holding hands for 10 minutes so that Usagi can go to the store with his brothers, etc etc. Leo is very much giving "changed the terms at the last moment" vibes.
Leo would become a husk of a person if he lost Usagi. He would slaughter anyone in his way if they tried to take Usagi (except his brothers, ofc.) Everyone is very aware of the fact Leo would act out violently if Usagi tried to leave him.
This is not to say Leo will always pick Usagi. If it is a life-or-death, no other option situation, Leo will pick his family over Usagi instantly, no hesitation, nothing. He will mourn afterward, though.
Leo's favoritism -
If Leo loves someone, in his mind, they can do no wrong. He will make excuses, ignore facts, and twist the narrative to remove blame from that person. He may also find a scapegoat to blame the behavior on instead.
If two people Leo loves are fighting, he doesn't pick sides. He will completely ignore the problem and say that it doesn't matter.
Leo is very much of the opinion that 'its in the past, so it doesn't matter.' So what people say, actions they take, past trauma, etc. Doesn't matter to him. This could be contributed to his memory problems as well.
After a fight, Leo will comfort the one that he thinks is more upset, aka more 'in need of support.' Typically, this will be Usagi.
Leo's power level -
Leo is the most dangerous of his brothers, WITH his sword. He could easily take any of his brothers down with it.
Without his sword, Leo is the weakest of his brothers. Leo is not good at hand-to-hand combat, and his fighting style completely relies on his sword and portals.
Fun facts -
Leo's favorite food is candied strawberries. He loves anything sweet or fruity.
Leo loves play wrestling and will often get very invested in any fights he gets in with his brothers or Usagi.
Leo has an extremely good pain tolerance. He would be able to walk on a broken leg and barely even register it.
Leo is a mystic prodigy, and his teleporting ability is entirely self-taught. It is much more sporadic and 'glitchy' than Rise, but Leo is still able to get things where they need to go. Leo's swords can split, and be either 1 or 2 weapons. 1 sword can create solid, doorway-like portals. 2 swords mean Leo can teleport between them, if he throws or embeds them in something.
Leo loves pop music, as well as 60s-90s Spanish music. He has an antique radio that he loves to listen to. Leo will also listen to rap/dubstep/hip-hop for Mikey and Don.
Leo loves rom-coms, and that is where Leo gets most of his ideas of love/romance from. He does not watch good rom-coms.
Leo babies his brothers quite a lot, but it is out of genuine care and adoration.
Tags that include Leo -
#addams! Leo, #addams! Leosagi, #addams! Hamatos, #addams! Disaster twins
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tklpilled · 6 months
Text
complex
(aether, albedo)
summary: sometimes side effects are more prominent than the actual product.
a/n: this is kinda romantic implied bc i wrote albedo sort of crushing on aether but it could be read as platonic so i'm just keeping it vague lol. more lee aether who is surprised.
[this is a sfw tickle fic!]
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
At this point, Aether is used to being a test subject. He came to Teyvat to find his sister, yet now he’s going to leave an unwilling hero and guinea pig — and, by the looks of it, still sisterless.
He can’t count how many times he’s gone through Lisa asking him to try a new spell, or Charlotte telling him to stand still so she can work on her photography, or Lyney practicing a magic trick he’s just come up with. He doesn’t mind it, really, not that much — it’s better than trying to fix all the Archons’ problems for them.
(He’s still hoping for Diluc to join the ‘ask-Aether-to-try-every-new-thing’ club, but considering everyone thinks he’s a teenager and not thousands of years old, he doesn’t think he’ll be doing a wine tasting any time soon.)
Point is, this whole thing isn’t just because of his own stupidity. He made a very understandable assumption, alright?
“Come here,” Albedo says, writing down some notes. “I want you to try this elixir out for me, if you wouldn’t mind.”
Aether nods, although Albedo can’t see it with his head bent down. He walks over to the table and sees two bottles, both filled about halfway. On the right is a pale green, glistening substance, and the bottle on the left contains a much more appetising blue-purple liquid. Albedo doesn’t look up from his notes, so Aether takes a 50/50 chance and picks up the left bottle. He downs it in one go.
Albedo looks up, then tilts his head. “That wasn’t the right one.”
Oh.
If Paimon were here, she’d panic and begin asking every question she could think of — but she’s not here, and Aether doesn’t know how to panic for himself. So, all he says is, “Am I going to die?”
“No,” Albedo says, sounding a little amused at how flat his voice is. “But—”
“Will I be in pain?”
“No.”
Aether shrugs. “Alright then. I don’t see a prob—LEHEM!”
His hands shoot up to cover his mouth, his eyes widening as a sudden sensation washes over him. Albedo looks on with a mixture of pity and curiosity as he sinks to his knees. “Maybe I should have warned you better…”
Aether curls in on himself, arms wrapped around his middle now instead of his mouth. “M-mahahake it stohohop!” he pleads, scrunching up his shoulders to protect from invisible, non-existent hands.
Albedo kneels down beside him, admiring the grin adorning his face. He’s never heard Aether laugh quite so freely before, and it’s very endearing. He finds himself staring for longer than he had intended. Aether is the one being tickled, yet Albedo is the one blushing — that doesn’t make any sense.
“In my experience, it stops after a short while,” Albedo finally says, blinking away from Aether’s incredibly pretty face, “although I took a much smaller dose than you. I’d estimate ten minutes at most.”
“T-tehehen?” Aether squeaks. “I cahan’t — too muhuhuch!”
Albedo can’t help but smile. Aether’s laugh is far too contagious. “Calm down, you’ll get used to it soon enough. It won’t feel nearly as bad in a couple minutes.”
Despite his words, Aether whines through helpless laughter, although he keeps any more complaints he may have to himself. From what Albedo had experienced, the tickling wasn’t intense at all; merely a step beyond tingling, just enough to make one laugh. For someone as ticklish as Aether, he supposes it might be a bit worse, but the overall outcome should be mostly the same.
“It was supposed to be a strength enhancer,” Albedo says, carrying the conversation while Aether is too busy cackling beside him. “It still is, technically. It just has some…very strong side effects. I’m sure if you could manage to stand, you’d find yourself a bit better with that sword of yours.”
“Plehehease,” Aether begs. “Mahahake it stohohohop…!”
“Hm.” Albedo reaches around him to scratch at his side, sending him scrambling away with a shriek.
“I hahate yohou!” he wails, then returns his arms around his waist protectively and kicks against the floor a little. “Yohou’re cruhuhuel!”
“I could leave you here until it's over,” Albedo suggests, making Aether frantically shake his head. “Maybe even make some more for you.”
“Y-yohou wohouldn’t!” Aether cries, although they both know he absolutely would. 
Albedo pokes a spot on his tummy that his arms fail to cover up. “If you say so.”
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angry-trashcan · 10 months
Text
Promises With a Fae
Part four to Hair Holds Memories
Warnings: Mentions of selfharm, canon typical violence
2K WC
(First)
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Your grandmother always warned you about fairies and fae-folk.
She would tell you that they were cunning, wicked tricksters. She would tell you that they would make you fall into their traps with beautiful eyes and heartwarming smiles. She would lecture you for leaving pies in the window for fear of luring one in with the sweet smell. But the one thing she would always reiterate was simple.
Never make a promise with a fae.
“Y/N?”
“Hmm?” You hummed, looking down at Hyrule’s head in your lap.
“You seemed lost in thought, I wanted to pull you back in.” He muttered, reaching up and caressing your cheek. You leaned into his touch with a gentle smile. It was a nice day. The breeze was cool on your back. The two of you were in a field full of flowers and butterflies. You had your legs crossed and he laid with his head in your lap, legs out in front of you both. Your hands played with his fluffy hair, putting little braids in before taking them out and doing them over. He simply laid watching the clouds pass, occasionally pointing out an interesting shape in them.
“Well thank you, I was rather reaching there.” You laughed lightly to yourself, picking a small white and blue flower and tying one of the braids with it.
“May I ask what you were thinking about?” He hummed curiously.
“My grandmother, she’s an interesting woman. I think you would be fond of her. She makes this one cake that is absolutely delicious.”
His eyes lit up at the sound of cake, “I can’t wait for the chance. I bet I would like her.”
“I fear she may not like you.” You laughed a bit.
“Why not? I’m likeable!” His head shifted back so he was looking at your face.
You shook your head, “It’s nothing against your personality, I think in that aspect you two would get on swimmingly actually.” You tried to push his head back up so you could continue with his hair, but he wouldn’t budge. You sighed. “She has a… thing with fairies and fae-folk.”
A slow nod came from him before he looked back up at the sky.
“A lot of people do. We have a bad reputation for some reason. I guess a few bad apples ruin the bunch.”
The two of you sat in silence for a few moments, just letting the breeze wash over you, watching the light pour over the trees at the each of the field.
“Ya know, someone once threw salt water on me to try to get me to go away?” He laughed at the memory.
“Salt water?!” You couldn’t help but laugh as well.
“Yeah! I guess they thought it was the opposite of sugar water so I would, like, melt or something? I don’t know. It was weird.” He laughed a bit more, shaking his head.
“I can’t say my grandma would do all that. Probably just give you some evil eye and say some prayers a bit too loud at the dinner table.” You snickered a bit, looking down at him. “I would hate to be the one to tell her you are closer to Hylia than she is.”
“You too, apparently.” He gestured to the field.
“Four’s Hyrule is a lot smaller than Wild’s. It was a strange jump.” You mentioned.
“Every jump is strange.” Rulie added, he always did take them the hardest.
You nodded, and continued playing with his hair. More time passed with relative silence. You picked nearly every flower near you so you began reaching down and around him, asking him for help for ones you couldn’t quite reach.
You reached for one on your left, your left sleeve rising up as you did so, showing the full effect of the night at the inn to the daylight. As well at Hyrule. He grabbed your hand as you pulled the flower from the earth.
“What are you-“
“Let me heal these.” He whispered, hands already glowing that familiar pink.
You pulled your hand back to yourself.
“No. No, I don’t want you to.” You held it to your chest, almost defensively as he looked up at you.
“Y/N, I’m not going to ask any questions about it. I just don’t want you to be in pain, or to get an infection in them. They are open burns and it can easily happen out here.” He sat up, sitting crisscross as well, turning so he was face to face with you.
You couldn’t meet his eyes, “What if that’s what I want.” You whispered, barley audible over the wind and crickets.
“…What?”
“I don’t know!” You put your hands over your face, ducking it to the floor as you heard him sigh.
“I understand wanting to cause yourself pain. But this is more than that. You’re being careless…” He put his head on top of yours, “Please, I just want to help you.”
You tried to breathe right as you removed your hands from your face and sat up to look him in the eyes.
“Okay…” You reached your hand out, pulling your sleeve up to allow him access to them. They were already getting a bit yellow and crusty. It was possible an infection could start any day.
He closed his eyes for a moment before putting a hand on top of your wrist, a pale pink glow illuminating it for a moment. With the other hand he reached up and held your cheek. You could feel the magic tingling off of his skin, the bulk of it in the warmth of your wrist. It only took a moment before he removed his hand and the skin was healed, only the old faded scars remaining.
“They were so old and deep I couldn’t do anything about them. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really. Than-“ He put his finger to your lips.
“Don’t thank me. I wanted to do this, it’s my job to take care of everyone, that includes you.” His thumb on your cheek rubbed lightly, “Besides, you’re not supposed to thank faes.”
This brought a smile to your teary face. When did I start crying?
“I don’t want you to do this anymore, but I understand I can’t stop you. If it does happen again, please tell me so I can help you.” He wiped a tear from your eye before it could fall.
“Actually… I don’t think I will do it again.”
He smiled a bit but you could tell it was ingenuine. “I know it’s hard to just stop something like this.”
“It is. But I know what I’m going to do.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Continue.”
“I will never intentionally harm myself again. I prom-“ He put his whole hand over your mouth, his eyes wide.
“Don’t finish that.” He was now on his knees, that same tingle of magic in his palms. “You don’t make promises with faes. No matter what, not even me.” He slowly removed his hand, sitting back slightly.
“Why not even you? What happens?” You were now intrigued and concerned. That was kind of your plan, you knew you couldn’t break a promise to him so you were going to make it to him specifically.
“When a non-fae and a fae make a deal or promise then they are soul bonded. They can quite literally feel each other’s presence. The fae can feel if the promise is being strained. It feels like a tug in the chest. They are both also physically marked, to show the world of their transgressions. If the promise is broken…” He trailed of, looking at the small pile of flowers you had accumulated. “Then the fae goes into a frenzy of sorts.”
Your eyes joined his on the flowers.
“I want to do it.”
His eyes closed as he took a deep breath, looking up at you. “Only if you are absolutely sure.”
Your eyes met his and you nodded. “I am.”
His hands reached for yours, holding them tightly. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“I will never intentionally harm myself again. I promise you, Link.” A flurry of magic rushed from his hands into you, a tingle rose in your right hand before it began to hurt. It felt like a hot brand was being pushed into your flesh. You began to cry out, he held your hands even tighter as tears flew down your cheeks.
“What-is-that?!” You called out between cries and sobs. Your head fell forwards and your nails dug into his hands.
“I’m so sorry, my love. It’s almost over.” He cooed into your ear, his head laying on top of yours.
And all at once, it was over. The tingles of magic, the pain, the nail gripping fear. All of it was over. You slowly looked up as he moved his head away from yours. Your eyes were bloodshot and still full of tears as you looked down at what was sure to be a mutilated hand. But all that was there was a white scar. It had the slight shape of a circle with wings.
“A fairy…?” You whispered.
He sighed, “That’s our mark.” He lifted his sleeve to show one on his arm in the same shape. “That means it worked. We are now soul bonded through your promise.”
You let out a nasaly laugh, putting your hand back into his. “I won’t break it. I pro-“ You cut your own self off at the realization at what you were saying at the horrified look he was giving you. He began to pull down his sleeve when you noticed something on his arm, you grabbed at his hand, pulling it back up. “What is that?”
His eyes grew wider. “It’s nothing. Just an old scar from a fight.” The tips of his ears grew red.
“You’re a terrible liar, what is it?” You asked a bit more harshly, pushing his sleeve up so you could see it more clearly. A gasp fell from your lips. “Link, what did you-“ Right next to his first mark was a second. “Did you make another deal with someone else?”
“No! No it’s nothing like that I-“ He closed his eyes, looking back towards the flowers. “I made a deal with myself.”
“I didn’t even know you could do that…”
“It was a bit of a long shot. But it worked.” The flowers began to blow away as the breeze blew harder but neither of you cared.
“What did you promise yourself?” You asked after a moment. He stayed silent, chewing on his words. “Rulie, Link.”
“I promised myself that I would never let anything happen to you. That way if I broke it, it would be… handled.”
You sat back a bit, startled by his words. “What do you mean handled?”
“I mean whatever threat but you in danger would be handled.” His words were harsh and stern, a side of him you rarely saw.
“Tha- I appreciate that.”
He smiled a bit at the use of your words. “I appreciate you.”
(Next)
Sorry this is such a weird cut off I had to stop somewhere for the next part
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cosmica-galaxy · 4 months
Text
Mimic oc submission
Hai it’s heaven😁
Name: Televise & Channel Image:
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Mimic species: TV mimic (Mutant).
Friendly or Hostile: Hostile? Yes.
Where can it be found: Dark alleyways, at night time, dimly lit open areas.
What does it eat and how does it hunt: Anything it can get its hands on, scraps of metal, flesh from humans/Skibidi’s, Mimics, etc.
Televise hunts by luring prey with Channel, using Channel as a puppet and fooling anyone who happens to fall into its path. Using Channel to bring the prey close enough to Televise where it can rip it to shreds with its’ claws and or bite the prey in half.
Does it have any special abilities: Being able to mutate its skin to show four wires that come from its back and being able to kill prey before putting it under its control (like the parasite Skibidi’s, TV woman, Titan tv man, etc).
Personal backstory:
Televise: Once a regular TV mimic-- one day it went off on its way to find food and water, suddenly it had encountered a Skibidi who could shoot acid. Getting caught in the crossfire and getting shot at with the cannon, instead of their skin burning and pealing off, it instead soaked into their body. Soon making its way to his nervous system and bones. It ended up infecting him and slowly taking effect mutating him after he ate his first alliance member, then its body demanded more metal to slowly turn himself into a half organic half machine monster, becoming half the size of a large unit and a real danger to everything around him. Although he doesn’t kill everything in his path, and sometimes likes to toy with his prey.
Channel: Prey is what this TV unit was to Televise before it wasn’t…thinking that it was his Large unit, Channel followed Televise into an alleyway corner. Confused, the TV unit looked back at the large unit questioning why he was led to an corner and cocked his head to the side before starting up his voice box. Speaking in his reversed language ` “ ⸮ɘɿɘʜ γʜW “ ` asked the smaller unit now almost dying of curiosity before he realized something…it was a simple touch but he realized that The other units coat was buttoned. He swore it wasn’t like that, but before Channel could leave as the smoke started up, is when everything crashed down for Channel. A long slim wire had a quietly made its way out of sight for Channel to realize before it was too late. He was hit in the back of the head with something that had disrupted his teleportation process, a jolt of electricity was ripped from him and slowly felt something he didn’t know he was capable of…pain. it flooded his wires and nerves as it tried to send something back to his home base, anything! But whatever had just hit him was working quicker than him. Before he knew it, parts of himself was being wiped and erased. Like the pain of organs being removed from inside of you when you are awake, feeling everything in the moment before…it all faded to black for him.
His screen had shut off before turning back on again, it took Televise to a few tries before he was able to operate Channel the way he could now. A lifeless puppet controlled by a vile beast that has done nothing but use his body to lure in unsuspecting people or things right into the jaws of danger and death.
(I know you don’t understand walls of text so I would be willing to break it up to you via discord, you know my username just text me if you need anything.) -- And here’s an entry from @angelwolf89 (Aka Heaven)! I adore this concept and idea! It makes me think of an angler fish hunting in the deep dark zones of the ocean and I am HERE for it! Amazing job with your idea and lore, Heaven! : D
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thatgirl4815 · 8 months
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Narrative Framing and Setting; Ray's Psyche (Ep 4)
I've seen a lot of discussion over this already, but the metaphor of the record store scene fits so well symbolically alongside the scene of Ray in the bath immediately before. It got me thinking about both the use of setting to portray Ray's loneliness and how it pairs with the subtle dialogue pulling him towards Sand.
Setting
To start with setting, there's a very notable contrast between the gloomy, cold hues of Ray's bathroom and the comparatively bright, welcoming atmosphere of the record store. I don't think it's any coincidence that the episode starts with Ray in the bathroom and ends with him there, indicating how--while he's clearly in a better mental headspace than he was two years ago--his pain is ceaseless.
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Interesting that out of every character we've seen so far, Ray has been solo in the ending credits twice. He also takes center stage with his narration this episode.
Bathtub
I don't think it's any coincidence that Ray is in a bathtub. It's confining, for one, a match for the plain hues of the bathroom and the absence of natural light. Despite the limiting aspect, there's also something to be said about the sense of security and comfort Ray could find in this kind of space. Someone like Ray who dreads loneliness might feel less lonely in a smaller area because he isn't forced to consider all of the unfilled space. Ray lives in a huge, luxurious house, but I think that's a curse as much as a blessing, because it reminds him of all the unoccupied space in his life.
In terms of bathing itself, the act is typically viewed symbolically as a way of "cleansing one's sins"; this could be Ray's subconscious effort to wipe his guilt away.
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Another point of note--we see Mew and Sand both assume a place in the bathtub as well at various points. It's almost as if Mew and Sand's presence there directly thwarts all of that pain Ray has welling up inside. If the bathtub represents confinement and loneliness, then the addition of Mew and Sand threatens to change that.
At the end of Ep4, we see Ray with a drink in one hand and Mew's gift in the other. The gift itself is a reminder of what Ray doesn't have (Mew), but it's also ironic because of its own symbolism--sun rays. This is, of course, a callback to Ray's name, but it also contrasts with the setting once again and the grimness Ray exudes. Also interesting: we see a brief flashback to Mew giving Ray this gift, and it notably occurs outdoors in another bright space. Also, I don't think it's any coincidence that Top and Mew's shower scene occurs right before this, highlighting how they are together and Ray is alone.
Record Store
As viewers, the sight of the record store is even more bright and jarring coming right out of the oppressive, comparatively cramped space that is Ray's bathroom. It's open, but it's filled with warmth and light. And, importantly, Ray and Sand are never far apart from each other. They might be the only ones visible in the store, but the entire room feels occupied and livable. Compared to the single shot of Ray in the bathtub, this final scene sees them both standing side by side the entire time.
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The dialogue compliments this atmosphere as well, with Sand inviting Ray to try out new music, almost as if he is inviting Ray to give him a try (*cue Let's Try*). We know from the previous scene that Ray is at least beginning to see Sand as someone who could occupy Mew's role. But this setting with its inviting tone and promise of companionship is where that truth becomes even more prominent. It's especially important because we can infer that Ray is reflecting on this scene while contemplating his loneliness, making it all the more alluring to him.
The lyrics of the song are effective. There are nature references with the stars, moon, and sea. Tonally, the song is warm, yet another distinct contrast to the cold silence of Ray's empty house.
This line in particular--
There is only us and the cold wind
--strikes me, as it calls upon the existence of space--space that has been filled because the speaker and their lover are together.
~ X ~
I'd be super curious to know anyone else's thoughts on this--I was rewatching those last two scenes and couldn't help thinking about all the contrasts between them. There’s so many cool things going on in terms of setting, chronology, and colorization. I’m anxious to see how these elements could coincide with Ray’s developments in the future.
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