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#maybe in my next life I'll have a chance
eroaneki · 19 days
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I don't think I would make a beautiful bride. I don't think I would make a good mother. I don't feel like I make a good partner. I don't feel like I make a good anything.
I just want to sleep. Maybe when I wake up I'll feel better.
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danwhobrowses · 8 days
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What's this? My skin, cleared? My crops, watered!? My heart, soaring!!??
Callowmoore softness, comfort and sleeping beside each other my FUCKING BELOVED!
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natreads · 9 months
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I'm in Greece! I'm visiting my grandparents and will spend the next two weeks working on my novel, reading books and doing some work while sitting in their garden or patio
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nopeferatu · 2 months
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😭😭😭😭
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zemnarihah · 2 months
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months
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knock on wood but already had the thought about how the potential What If winstuk of ostensible post-7x03/WDE could just be....boisterous. effulgent. vibrant.
#and it could Not Be. we could have tuk be like i; specifically; hate you; specifically. bit of a damper esp. not assuming further material#but if there's the setup for Contrast Surprise in ''everyone hates winston & has been assaulting him or not moved to make sure he's not#assaulted all day'' bad time & he ends up Unleashed. perfect time to meet just out of frame like knock knock it's me your actual friennd...#anyways i have boundless thoughts; feelings abt WDE Impends that i won't try to expound & enumerate via thirty tags limits#representative is how atm the vibe is [mild] but earlier did have an adrenal response to secondhand info. which is also just a tuesday but#winston billions#winstuk#it could sure just be everyone lining up for a last chance at telling winston they wish he was dead & then forget he exists next ep#like what happens when he's been offscreen for a moment all these five seasons lol#and of course i've thought abt ''well it's not even off the table he litchreally dies offscreen lol lmao''#it's just like 4x11 time to lose forty followers overnight#causing mpc problems? maybe someone will kill you for real.#then his life will have served its highest purpose: upping the stakes for people who matter (rian going ''hope that doesnt happen to me'')#but this would be as likely as anyone following up on winston ever to even realize if he's alive or not. maybe if they Had to ask him smth#billions probably wouldn't be that mean but who even knows. do you want maximal drama out of the winston sendoff or not#like thanks for naming an episode after him and his dick energy i guess....could've just written him out offscreen entirely#but i also have the standards of ''yes i'm gonna be pissed if/when they write him out w/o treating him like another Person in universe''#and even if they do at all in some ways. i'll also be annoyed if they stick to the tradition of not letting taylor talk to him#i know someone official liked my livetweet about that backpat. you all had better do any damn thing. sigh. anyways#only Some expounding. the winstuk setup potential could also be cuntrageous as it'd be great if winston could be more generally
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hauntedrain · 3 months
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For Years! | Max Verstappen x Reader |
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Social media AU Summary: Max and reader get criticism over the status of their relationship.
✮▹ A/N: So sorry for not posting for so long. Life has been BUSY. but hopefully i can post more and write more! Love you guys <3
✰▹Warnings/Notices: Not edited. nothing really. reader mentioned to write music
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Liked by Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, & 3,345,678 others
@Y/N: Lovely time lately.
view all 19,234 comments
user1: LMFAO MAX.
user2: Y/N you'll always been iconic
user3: sometimes I forget Max Verstappen is dating THE Y/N L/N.
↪ user4: SO TRUE. It completely passes my mind that they've been together before he even got to F1.
↪ user5: THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS?
↪ user6: YEA ITS WILD.
↪ user7: wait but they haven't gotten married or anything?
↪ user8: Yea no. They also avoid the questions around it. Kind of weird to me.
↪ user9: But hasn't Y/N written songs about marriage and getting married? Why haven't they?
↪ user10: Maybe they just don't want to. Or max doesn't.
MaxVerstappen: Why did you choose that photo of me.
↪ Y/N: You want me to post the photo from yesterday?
↪ MaxVerstappen: NO.
↪ user11: LMFAO. PARENTS.
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Liked by Y/N, Redbull, & 2,345,567 others
@MaxVerstappen: Great race and great win! Getting ready for next week. And thank you to @Y/N for making me but those glasses, best purchase.
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Y/N: I told you they were a good investment
↪ MaxVerstappen: I don't know if you would call it an investment.
↪ Y/N: I'll post that picture.
↪MaxVerstappen: It was a great investment! better than a house!
↪ user12: better than a ring?
↪ user13: STOP. but no fr, wheres the ring Max?
user14: Okay nice win but when yall getting married?
user15: everyone needs to mind their business, maybe they're just not ready to get married and that okay.
↪ user16: But its been 9 YEARS. NINE YEARS. Its a red flag.
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liked by 18,234 others
@F1GOSSIP: Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N have been criticized over the status of their relationship. The couple has been together for over 9 years however many fans have realized that there's been no movement in the relationship, family and marriage vise. Thought?
view all 5,567 comments
user17: I mean its their life but 9 years?
user18: Idk guys don't hate me but sometimes max doesn't seem interested in Y/N. Like all of the Monaco GP? seem happy around her.
↪ user19: Bro look at the pictures in the post. Does he seem unhappy in them? No he seems very happy.
↪ user20: Okay but lets be honest. Both only seem that happy in front of a camera.
User21: I mean for some of their relationship they were fairly young. Maybe they just wanna enjoy it little by little.
↪ user22: I think in 9 years you can enjoy a lot.
user23: I wouldn't marry her either. Max knows what's best which is why he hasn't done it.
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Y/N has posted to their story!
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liked by 6,678,567 others
@MaxVerstappen: happy 3 year anniversary @Y/N. love you much and cant wait for years to come. Also, people said I hated her? How could I?
view all 35,567,878 comments
Y/N: Guys my husband is kinda cool.
↪ MaxVerstappen: Kinda?
↪ Y/N: yea cuz im cooler than you.
↪ MaxVerstappen: Okay love.
user24: WTF 3 YEARS?
user25: max said hold my 3x WDC titles while I make everyone shut up about my relationship.
↪ Y/N: He just wins everything doesn't he?
↪ CharlesLeclerc: Yea its kinda annoying. you should distract him Y/N
↪ MaxVerstappen: Dont tell my wife to distract me, I'll lose.
↪ CharlesLeclerc: thats the point.
↪ LandoNorris: I just wanna win.
↪ user26: LMFAO WHAT IS HAPPENING
↪ Y/N: Im collecting them all
User27: And people said max didnt wanna marry her.
user28: Bro just keeps winning doesnt he. Y/N GIVE ME A CHANCE.
user29: if you look closely you can see me getting run over by an F1 car.
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⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: I hope you guys like it! I need to post more but ive gotten so busy and haven't had the time. But I'll try to post more often. Love you guys! hope you enjoyed.
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asterias-record-shop · 11 months
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╭════• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •═══╮
— fuck his brains out
╰════• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •═══╯
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In which you pretend not to know your boyfriend is Kick-Ass. maybe OOC characters, I got a little carried away, and maybe mixed timeline, I haven't watched the movies in a while... Also, Dave x Mean! reader because who doesn't love that?
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𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪
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“I think Kick-Ass is hotter,” you look over at Dave, licking your ice cream almost teasingly. “If I had the chance, I’d fuck his brains out.”
Dave blushed madly, rubbing his cheeks before you stand and tug on his arm. “Dave, I think we should start heading out. You’re walking me home, right?”
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Dave nodded quickly, as you thought that it was best because you had been taking care of him since his injury or said that because it had been a while. “Y-Yeah! I will, I’m coming.”
He waved at his friends as you tugged him out, throwing away the napkin that previously held your ice cream cone away. “I mean it,” you said abruptly, smiling over as you held his hand. “I would fuck him so hard he wouldn’t be able to talk.”
“W-Would you?” Dave finally speaks, looking over at you as you smiled.
“Hell yeah I would.”
Later that night, Mindy stared at him as he fixed his mask. “This isn’t a good idea, Dave."
In all seriousness, he really thought she would fight him to make him stay. What he was doing was stupid, but he was about to get laid. By you. The most beautiful girl in the world.
"This," he grinned back at her. "Is an amazing idea. I'm going to get laid so fucking hard."
"What if she wants to take off your mask?"
"She won't."
"What if she recognizes your voice?"
He paused, then smiled. "When I'm nervous, my voice gets higher. She won't recognize it. I'll see you later!"
He ran out, quickly going to your home. How was he going to get in? Would he sneak in through the window you always had unlocked that was right next to your dresser? Or would he throw rocks at your window, begging for you to let him up so you could fuck him?
He started to panic, how the hell would he sneak into your house?
In nervousness, he paced in the back alleyway behind your house before his phone buzzed, your name blaring on the screen.
Y/N 8:57PM come in through the window ;)
It made him pause before he looked at your window, gasping as you stared at him with your body lit in light of your bedside lamp. He could see your bright smile as you gave him a small wave, a gulp echoing through the alley as you opened up the window a bit and leave it open with a hairbrush.
He inhaled deeply as he slowly jumped over the fence, climbing up the tree that led up to the window, easily slipping through after pushing it up before carefully pushing it down. He gasped as he looked back, staring at his reflection through the mirror from where you sat in front of your vanity.
"It's slightly... perverted to sneak into a woman's house, right?" Your fingers rubbed moisturizer into your face like he had seen you do in the nights he slept over. "Dave knows that, but I'm assuming Kick-Ass doesn't."
Dave cleared his throat, pushing his hands to cover the front of his suit, specifically over his crotch. He loved it when you said his name. "I-I uhm... you know Dave as well? I know Dave too."
He watched as you giggled. "I do know Dave, very well. But something's telling me you know him a little better than I do."
He swallowed, humming before making his voice deeper. “I-I’ve known Dave a long time… Y/N.”
“Have you now?” You stood, slowly walking over and swaying your beautiful hips before you stood in front of him. “How long?”
“M-My whole life.”
You giggled as he slowly stepped forward to meet you in the middle, your fingers trailing down his chest as you pressed firm kisses wherever your fingers went and you slowly got down on your knees, your skimpy lingerie-like pajamas. "Did Dave ever tell you what I want to do to you, Kick-Ass? Hm?"
He whimpers, his false persona of confidence never even giving the chance to rise as you kissed over the bulge that he tried to hide. "H-He did... oh fuck, he did."
"Oh, well he didn't have to tell you, right? You knew it because you are Dave, right?" You licked over the material of his suit.
His head lulled back as he nodded, groaning. "R-Right, fucking hell, please! Please, please don't stop."
You scoffed as you stood, pressing your finger to his chest. "I knew it! I knew it, you bastard, why would you keep that from me?! Did you like me gushing over your alter ego?!"
He gasped as you shoved him, a groan falling from your lips. "What? No! No, of course not!"
"For fuck's sake, Dave! What, you're such a virgin that you loved the thought of some girl talking about her fantasies with your alter ego?! Fuck you!" You groaned as you sat on your bed, covering your face to hold back your smile. This had to work.
"No! No, of course not, of course not! I'm sorry, I am so sorry," he whined as he kneeled in front of you, holding your knees. "Please, you have to understand..." He takes off his mask, whimpering as he stared up at you. "I did it to keep you safe. I didn't... I don't want you to be a target."
You inhale deeply as you pulled your hands away from your face, glaring down at him. "You promise?"
"I promise."
He inhaled deeply as you squeezed his face, raising a brow. "Well then, what are you going to do to make it up to me?"
He paused, clearing his throat as you ran your fingers through his hair. "Wh-Whatever you want me to," he whispers, swallowing loudly. "Whatever you want me to do."
Oh, you knew it would work.
Maybe that's how Dave got here, laying on his back as he sobbed underneath your touch, the vibrating cock ring settled right at his base and your tongue licking at his tip, lapping and sucking teasingly. You giggled as he squirmed underneath your touch, your hand pumping him slowly. "I don't know if you've done enough to cum, Dave. I don't think... you've made it up to me."
He whined, shaking his head as he covered his mouth. "No, no please! I'll do anything you want, just please! I need- I need to cum inside of you."
You hummed teasingly, pursing your lips. "Inside of me? You want to ask that much of me? Do you think that you've done enough to get the pleasure of cumming inside of me?"
"Yes!" He whined loudly, groaning. "Yes! Yes, I'll make you feel good, I promise!"
You hummed, pumping him even harder. "No... I don't think you can. A virgin like you? Please."
"I promise! I promise I will, I promise." He whimpered, his hips bucking into the air.
He probably could, to be honest. His cock was bigger than you could ever imagine, his girth barely able to fit into your mouth without making your jaw ache and could barely go down your throat without choking. He had the prettiest dick you'd ever seen, definitely the biggest and girthiest too, just because the last few guys you saw were fucking assholes.
"Maybe I will let you cum inside of me," you mused, humming as you sucked on his tip to make loud popping sound echo across the room. "Maybe, if I'm feeling... nice."
He whined, nodding desperately. "Fuck, please! Please, I'll do anything!"
"Where do you want to cum inside of me, baby? Dave knows I'm on birth control, but does Kick-Ass?" You giggle, rubbing his thighs as you gagged on his cock.
"C-Can I cum i-in your... in your-?"
"You can't even say it, can you?" You giggled as you switched the ring into the highest power, humming. "You want to cum... inside of me, right? That narrows things down a little bit... you want to cum inside my mouth? Or... my ass, that's going to take a minute though. Maybe my pussy? Hm? It's already stretched out for you, Dave. Inside my pussy, inside of my cunt?"
"Y-Your cunt! I want... I want to cum inside of your cunt."
You giggled. "Just don't cum as soon as I take this ring off, alright?"
He let out a loud whimper, nodding as you slowly slip it off, putting it into your mouth to suck loudly, groaning as his taste filled your mouth. He groaned as you take it from your mouth, straddling his hips and holding his cock up. You could feel your eyes roll back, humming as he whimpered. "I-I'm close, I'm so close!"
You giggled as you sunk down onto him, yelling out as he screamed out, groaning with a strong buck of his hips to bottom out inside of you and his cum filling up your stomach. You gasped loudly, whimpering as you held onto his chest, your nails digging into his skin. "H-How are you still cumming?!"
"I-I can't stop," he groaned flipping you over to hold your thighs as he pressed his face into your neck, thrusting his hips. Your eyes rolled back, groaning loudly as the loud slaps of skin against skin filled your room. "Fuck, you feel so fucking good! Better than I could ever imagine, fuck!"
You whined as your nails dug into his back, Dave pulling away for just a second with a grin. "Who's fucking who's brains out now?"
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© asterias-record-shop
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flintbian · 2 years
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Well. The light show was a bust. RIP
#it's disappointing...to say the least#i've been back for almost a week now so I've had time to process before I write#we got unlucky. It was cloudy/snowing all but one day. the one day it wasn't the bz wasn't low enough and the kp wasn't high enough#the most we saw was what looked like white fog through the clouds even through a camera#apparently the day before we got there and the day after we left it was beautiful but were just unlucky#and social media algorithms know I track it and now after it's like it's mocking me showing the beauty I never got to see#i'll likely never get another chance...at times like these i feel like my life was just a massive failure in all regards#i know it's a game of chance but i had hoped maybe the universe would grant me one wish. One kindness. But I've never been lucky have i?#but you miss it if you don't try at all and I did. I did try. That's all you can do#i've been a bit depressed since but I'm determined to actually live a little and explore after all I live in such a beautiful place#i thought all the hikes would be inaccessible but I found some and I'm determined to see the beautiful things all around me#there are books I want to read and food I want to bake. Maybe if I last we'll try again#though extremely difficult the travel is#and there were some good things like I met some amazing people and cuddled with five dogs in a cuddle pile 🥰#they seemed to sense I was in pain and were gentle around my legs. Codiac always demanded More attention#even as he's already in your lap and you're already petting him 😂 even the shy wolf mix joined my pile 🥹#i got jokes that I'm a cyborg or biomech based on the scanner and x rays lol. saw and touched some Aspen trees and saw the big dipper#but overall a disappointment and I'm recovering now...not sure what to do next honestly#it's hard. How do you cope when you Know there's no purpose to the pain...to all this suffering. It was all for nothing. Why continue?#my dreams are all dead and I'm resigned to disappointment. hope is a curse#but part of me claws for breath saying I want to live I want to live if only for the hope of it getting better or finally experiencing...#but I never do. I just get worse and worse relegated to a solitary room resigned to disappointment and pain and failure#why continue suffering for suffering's sake? But I have to try. I hear hiccup's voice and remember my promise#idk why. Things are constantly downhill and my dreams die and I never amounted to anything and my body is a broken nightmare#I'm heartbroken but I'll pick myself up. Try another day as long as I can. And now I'm making mini goals#I wish to read The Lost Metal in November. That's what I'll do for now#but yeah my one chance failed. That's just the way of it I suppose. I just have to be resigned to that now. Maybe eternity will be kinder.#after all hope is painful. ive added much salt to the sea#to one more day then#p
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joonsytip · 1 month
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Only for Love || Mingyu [Teaser]
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Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au
Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?
Warnings: Reader is cold but also shy, Mingyu is gullible and impulsive, lack of communication, misunderstanding, miscommunication, reader is objectified once, hurt, crying, profanities, mentions of divorce, sexual intimacy, mentions of pregnancy, rest will be specified under the part when published
Main story out now checkout here!
[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]
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"Let's get divorced."
When Mingyu came home late at night to see you awake and waiting for him, there was an uncanny feeling that settled within.
Your hands are crossed, face void of any expression. If not for your next words, Mingyu would think he's hallucinating.
"We can decide on the terms and clauses, all as per your convenience.", you stress, "I do not expect any trouble from your side."
Mingyu finally registers everything you have said till now and everything hits him all at once.
"W-What are you talking about? Why do you want a divorce all of a sudden?"
Your monotonous tone rather asks him another question, "We have been married for over two years, nearing it's third anniversary. Do you want to be tied in this marriage?"
Though Mingyu thinks he doesn't know you well enough but he knows you enough to catch the wind of your words.
His gaze turns towards his office room and his suspicion confirms to be correct when he sees the door opened ajar.
"Why did you enter my office? I had clearly warned you about not doing so.", he says in a strict voice.
"That doesn't answer my question.", you say getting up, "Anyways it doesn't matter anymore, I want you to move out of our shared bedroom right now and shift to the guest room. I'll get a lawyer, you get one too and proceed with the divorce."
As you turn back, you feel your husband's hand wrap around yours.
"How are you so calm? Why are you not asking me anything? Do I really mean nothing to you?", you hear a string of questions falling out of his lips, "We are married for almost three years now and your cool headedness after, I'm assuming, knowing everything makes me aware of the fact that I really don't know you."
You jerk your hand out of his grip and turn back to look at him, "And how is that my fault? Maybe you've never tried to know me.", your voice drops another octave, "You can stop with the doting husband act, now that I know the truth."
Mingyu doesn't miss the way your eyes show vulnerability for a moment. Your words strike a chord within him.
"I'll sleep in the guest room.", Mingyu says in defeat, "And we're gonna talk it out tomorrow morning.", he sounds sincere when he says, "I'm sorry. I hope you'll give me a chance to explain everything."
But little does he know, you've already closed the room for any diversions, that you've decided to part ways with the person who has betrayed your trust.
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→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.
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ourg0dsal · 6 months
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Gideon Nav CANNOT Die. Hold on- I know... but give me one second and I'll explain.
So, as I said before Gideon Nav cannot die, or at least her body can't. Cause clearly (spoiler warning) Gideon Nav died at the end of Gideon the Ninth. There is no avoiding that.
But! If you have read all the books GtN, HtN, and NtN including all of the accompanying short stories (tho I will admit I have not read The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex yet) then there is a better understanding of the timeline of the whole story outside of just what the three main books give you. Specifically and especially with Gideon's body. But also there are many times In Gideons life were she has faced near death events or events that she should not have survived from and still was breathing on the other side.
To go in chronological order of these events, when she was first born she was found in a container held by the air depraved suit of her mother. And while ofc In the book it does state that her mother had redirected her air supply to Gideon, but it is simply being stated to cover all my bases.
Then the 200 sons and daughters massacre when Gideon was 1 (or 2 im not sure) when she inhaled poisonous air without dying. Which led ofc to the Reverend Mother and Father fearing the ground she walked. And this is a big one because, it literally creates waves in the plot. It's a defining point of Harrow and Gideons relationship. That Gideon did not die when she was supposed to.
Later in the story Gideon talks with Pal when she believes Harrow to be a murderer and openly admits to him that "she nearly killed me a half dozen times growing up" which obviously in context was to emphasize on the brutal relationship between her and Harrow. But this could also be other times where miraculously Gideon survived death when she shouldn't have. Because as we know from the first confrontation between Harrow and Gideon. Harrow doesnt hold back for her.
Finally of all the events where Gideon escapes death, this one actually happens within the main story of Gideon the Ninth. When Harrow siphons from Gideon to retrieve one of the challenge keys. And at the end when Gideon passes out, it is narrated ""ha-ha," said Gideon, "first time you didn't call me Griddle," AND DIED." Now, this could obviously just be the snarkiness of Gideon narrating. Or something incredibly clever left behind by Tamsyn Muir for a book series that is so clearly meant to be reread. But ofc to do my rounds the next line after does state "well, passed out. But it felt a hell of a lot like dying." But then immediately after "wake up had an air of ressurection." Which honestly feels like Tamysn Muir teasing the readers at this point. The question then becomes rather, which one was the tease and which one was foreshadowing/ evidence.
Now the point of listing all of these events is that in all of these cases the chances of death are so incredibly high that for most its a miracle she's alive. Ofc most notably for the siphoning trial and the poision gas, but none the less there is proof within the written story and and out that Gideon has looked death in face and moved on with maybe a headache. And it wasn't just in her child hood this is something she can just do. Some recreated in the written story! Because as Pal said. Even with the siphoning challenge done perfectly the chances of leaving Cam with severe brain damage was far to high. And Gideon didn't even suffer that.
Sadly, despite all these Gideon gets to the final battle and fights Cytherea and does die. At the hands of a particularly pointy fence. Or was it truly the fence that did her in? Rather than the lyctorship ritual that was started seconds afterwards.
My full theory, isnt just that Gideon Nav can't die. It's that Gideon Nav wouldn't have been able to die... If Harrow hadn't sucked her soul out. There are at the very least 8 seperate events that Gideon should have died, two of which were nearly gauranteed, but she was ended by a piece of metal. Yes, a very well placed piece a metal, but the point still up to that point she had faced worse a came out unscathed.
If Harrow had not completed the lyctor ritual, Gideon would not have died. Wether or not through resurrection or simply walking it off. Gideon's body has some sort of necromantic attributes to it that keep her alive. We see this in the Untitled Entry short story with Judith Deuteros that describes Gideons body, as it does not rot, cannot be injured, cannot be fed to animals forced or otherwise. And that is all before Jod ever gets a look at the body, because otherwise he would have known Gideon was his daughter before the later events of Harrow the Ninth.
And ofc during the first challenge when Harrow uses Gideon as her eyes to be able to see the construct in the other room and Gideon is able to see the thanergetic signatures that Harrow remarks should be impossible. (I assume because the process is Harrow extracting information (Gideons eyesight) from Gideon and so Gideon should not also be receiving information (the ability to see the signatures)) unless Gideon had some form of necromantic abilities, which she was tested for as a kid and apparently did not have. Alongside not having the correct attitude to be a nun of the ninth. And so we can round it out to be her body being naturally necromantic leaving Gideon without the ability to use it. (Which Is a jump from the actual point we are attempting to use, but for now this stops us from assuming Gideon as any sort of necromantic ability which is a theory all on its own. One that I personally have no evidence for or against)
Now, that I have hopefully made both my Ap Lit and Lang teachers proud with my 3 am essay, I must give you the real tragedy of Gideon the Ninth. Had Gideon not died, had Harrow been unable to complete the lyctor ritual for emotional reasons or otherwise, had Harrow not become a lyctor and killed cytherea. Gideon would have had to watch Harrow and Cam be killed, possibly even Corona, Judith and Ianthe. And then to be used for Cythereas own motives. Tamysn Muir beautifully set up the story so that the best possible outcome could have happened. Had Gideon not died. Everyone else would have. And "Camilla the sixth was no idiot" cam knew and accepted this whereas Harrow never would have. And so the unkillable Gideon had to die, and forcing Harrows hand was the only way to do it.
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rene-darling · 1 year
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WHEN- you leave them without release
...as it says, something comes up and you leave them rock hard...
Tighnari...xiao...gorou...ayato
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Tighnari
You've stuffed an aphrodisiac mushroom in his mouth with has left him a drooling mess you fucked deep into him as he clawed your back while arching his own
Suddenly your akasha terminal let out a noise and you heard a message from your boss, it was something along the lines of not coming now or you'll be in big trouble
You roughened your pace as tighnari bit onto your shoulder drawing out blood, he soon came for the first time but as soon as you finished you rushed to go grab your things you mumbled about being back soon and quickly left
In his state tighnari couldn't quite understand your words, but soon, as his mind cleared a little he realized that you had just up and left! Leaving him still hot and bothered by the aphrodisiac!! He's about to run after you but the effects of the aphrodisiac are too strong and he falls flat on his ass
Be prepared for the lecture of your life because when you come back he's gonna give you an ear full! "ah- hey babe-" the glare he gives you shuts you right up now you're not afraid of many things- except when you're faced with a cock hungry tighnari
After he's done giving you an earful he makes you fuck him while he just lays on his back not moving a muscle!! But hey you owe him for leaving him like that!
Overstimulate him till he's crying "aw, baby why are you crying didn't you want this?"
Ayato
You don't get much time with ayato since he's always busy with work and stuff so when you finally do see each other you're both exhausted by the day and just fall asleep
But he was determined to push away the exhaustion to get some private time with you he was enjoying himself blindfolded and tied to the bed it had been a while since both of you had done something like this, it was good stress relief
The ropes weren't too tight yet if he really wanted to he could break them but he didn't he was your good boy after all
Suddenly a low knock was on the door you mumbled something like "one sec" and went ayato knew you would be back soon- and that you wouldn't let anyone into the room either, his delicate body is for your eyes to see and no one else's
But um... you're still not here.. it's been a couple of minutes but you're still not back, he's started to grow worried especially since he's rock hard with no clothing on and he's tied to the headboard of the bed
With minimal struggle, he's able to get himself out of his tied-up position, then he removes his blindfold ayato looks down and- he's still hard... Where the fuck are you
He puts on a silk robe to hide the obvious hard on and leaves his room in search of you roaming the halls he comes across thoma and decides to ask him about your whereabouts
"thoma, have you seen y/n by chance?" "ah my lord, yes, the people from fontain that we're supposed to arrive next week arrived earlier since they wanted to get lady ayaka's dress ready as soon as possible, my lady rushed to go and greet them since it would be disrespectful not to."
Archons, he can't believe this. This is the reason you left him in such a sorry state? God. You're such a workaholic
Be prepared to be ignored the rest of the day, when you come back he's laying down on the bed with his back to you you try shaking him and asking if he wants to continue but...no response 'maybe he's asleep...' leaving him alone you got in the bed and went to sleep
The next morning no matter how many times you tried talking to him he kept looking the other way, the next day he started making snide remarks whenever you tried spending time with him
' alright that's it tonight I'll make it up to him!" you made sure to shower and wear ayato's favorite fragrance he was giving you the cold shoulder- again he was pretending to have fallen asleep on his work table
You weren't going to be defeated this easily though so you grabbed him by the waist and lifted him up princess style, his eyes shot wide open "w-wha-... What are you doing y/n put me down!! What if someone sees" " I don't give a fuck if someone sees tonight is all about me and you." you exclaimed as you gently laid him on the bed "i-..um- a-alright...just, be gentle okay.." "alright"
You did not stay true to your word for long
Gorou
Poor poor gorou's heat is here but luckily you're here too!! And as his lover, it's your duty to fuck him through these rough times, is what he thinks
So as soon as you get home he's immediately clinging to you, his ears twitching and tail wagging as he desperately drags you too the bed
You were very amused with his desperation and how could you say no to his puppy face!
Things were getting steamy- fast as you were leaving apparent hickies on his exposed stomach while he moaned in euphoria
Soon a knock came from the door and before you could speak up a soldier spoke from the other side informing you that kokomi was urgently calling for you
Since this was something to do with the war you couldn't just not go so you told him you'll be there and got off gorou, who immediately noticed the weight of you leaving, but he was expecting you to go get some toys or lube or whatever so he didn't question you
You just assumed that gorou heard the soldier he didn't. And went rushing out of the tent to kokomi
A minute passed. Two. Then three, four, five, and soon it had been ten minutes since you left and gorou was left wondering, ' Where the heck are you??' he's left panting cuz his heat sure as hell isn't gone
He doesn't even try to make himself presentable and just goes out and to the nearest guard he sees "general gorou!...um are you okay you look a li-" "Where. Is. Y/n" "O-oh um- uh hah um- last I heard the divine priestess called for her-" Before he could even finish gorou stormed off leaving the poor guard in shambles
"So back to the topic at hand y/n-" Before Kokomo could even process her sentence the doors slammed open with a very annoyed-looking gorou "wha- gorou, babe why are-" " I get if you weren't in the mood but you could have at least got me my heat pills!!!" gorou was pissed.
"um- ill leave you guys to settle this lovers quarrel" Kokomo quickly rushed everyone and herself out since she did not want to be a third wheel
Safe to say it was good that she left since otherwise she would have witnessed gorou breaking his back while he stabbed his nails into your back making you bleed
You've advised gorou to cut his nails cuz for damn you were fricking bleeding with the scratches he left you! ...At least if someone saw that they knew you fucked good?
Xiao
It takes a lot of build up to get Xiao in the mood but it's always worth it, seeing his back arch while he claws at your back in ecstasy truly a sight to behold
You were on the couch xiao in your lap while you made out your hands were on his hips while his we're around your neck suddenly a knock came on the door and you both parted your lips and he panted in your lap "go sit on the bed xiao ill be back" you said quickly giving him one last kiss he shyly nodded while getting of your lap
You opened the door and it was the inn over verr "Did we make too much noise?" you asked getting straight to the point- or so you thought "wha- no why would there be noise- anyways a letter has come from the jade chamber saying there's been an emergency and you are needed"
"..fuck- um alright thanks verr" She left soon after wondering what 'noise' you were talking about
You quickly fixed yourself in the nearest mirror and yelled out to Xiao "Xiao! Somethings come up let's continue this after I come back" you yelled and then you rushed out the door assuming Xiao heard you...he didn't
Xiao waited and waited wondering what was taking you so long?? He stayed in the room for close to half an hour because he wanted to be your good boy but he just couldn't wait any longer so he looked his head out the door and saw...no one
After Xiao explores the entire house and doesn't find you he gets really embarrassed and teleports away he thinks he's done something wrong and you're mad at him!
When you finally do come back you see the whole house is empty with no Xiao insight
You call his name a few times to no answer it's when your voice starts to become panicked and desperate does he finally show up
"Xiao! Thank God I was worried- wait..have you been crying my love...?" you said noticing the red under his eyes as well as the wetness
"n-no.." he says in a broken tone which makes your heart shatter
You question him, to find out why and he finally spills telling you how it's because you left him! And he thinks he did something wrong! "aw..my darling you didn't do anything wrong something came up, that's why I left.." you kissed away any tears that threatened to spill from his pretty lashes "y-you mean..that...?" he asks you in such a gentle tone
"ya...come ill just show you how much a I mean that.." you grabbed his waist and pulled him into the bedroom
Next morning it's xiaos turn to be mad at you! You guys got a noise complaint from verr
"it's not like I was the one making noise.." he throws a pillow at you while you laugh at him "aw xiao you've gone all red..wanna go another rou-" y/n was never heard from again :)
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everlastlady · 4 months
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Husk Boyfriend Headcanons.
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✦- Author's Note: I'm still trying to upload 400 Hazbin Hotel Icons on Pinterest. And those 400 Icons are just from episode one of Hazbin Hotel and Pinterest has an upload limit so I hit that upload limit for the second time today, so until I can upload the rest of the icons, I decided to post the Husk boyfriend hcs. Husk is my favorite character from the show; it's an absolute delight that David Keith is voicing him since David Keith was important in my childhood and he's my favorite voice actor, so him voicing Husk makes me love the character even more. Also update! I have medicine for anxiety and medicine for sleeping finally, so I'll be adjusting my schedule, I'm sorry that I didn't update Bloody Legend but I will soon, I promise my little roses. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡
✦- Important: Reader is gender neutral, Protective Husk, Husk can sometimes be an ass, Reader is a singer at the hotel, & Just Cuteness.
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✸- Husk was a loving and caring boyfriend. But sometimes he can be an ass from time to time. But at the end of the day you know that your fluffy boyfriend can be a sweetheart. He loves it when you sit at the bar while he's drinking or serving drinks. He'll listen to you talk about your day or songs that you have been writing. When he's talking about his day or people that pissed him off, you'll listen. The bar is likely where you two are mostly seen when it's not your rooms or the streets of Hell. Husk isn't afraid to tell other guests to fuck off if they come up and try to flirt with you. And you aren't scared to do the same if people try to hit on Husk or disrespect him if he refuses to serve them another drink.
✸- When it comes to laying in bed, Husk doesn't mind being the big or little spoon. But he very much prefers being the big spoon. He likes it when you run your fingers through his fur or use his fluffy chest as a pillow. It's hard for him not to let out little purrs because of how you play or stroke your fingers through his fur. He'll rub gentle circles on your back or hips. He'll watch a nice movie or show with you. Maybe even rock you to sleep, he'll whisper sweet nothings into your ear and tell you how much you mean to him. He'll place kisses along your face and cover you up a bit when you finally fall asleep, don't worry he's not going anywhere because he'll fall asleep next to you.
✹- You're both losers! You and Husk both know that you are losers. You both need through painful things when alive and when in Hell. Maybe you are both still dealing with painful things but you both know that at the end of the day. You have each other and can yourselves around one another. That nothing will stop you both from living through the shit streets of Hell. To never be scared to express oneself or speak your mind.
✹- You find it fascinating that Husk was once an Overlord. You ask him so many questions and he'll happily answer all of them. When you ask him if he ever had a chance to go back to being an Overlord would he? And his answer is always no because he isn't sure if the happiness he had as an Overlord was truly real happiness. He doesn't want to be an Overlord but he also doesn't want to be on Alastor's leash. But you promised to find a way to free him from Alastor one day.
✸- Husk favorite thing to do with you is taking you on a romantic dinner then having a night stroll in the park. Hand in hand the two of you will walk and Husk will sing a song to you. He'll pick a flower and had it to you. Tell you how grateful he is to have such a beautiful and special demon in his life.
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brodieland · 16 days
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.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 Royal Rivalries !! ´ˎ˗
Luke Castellan x Fem!Zeus!reader Synopsis: It was the day of your 'contest for suitors' but a recurring man, one you detest, wins the contest Tags: Royalty AU, cursing, a suicide joke but nothing to crazy Word Count: 2592
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"Ouch," you cried out. "I can barely breathe here!!"
"I'm so sorry princess, but we need to tighten your corset just a bit further" your maid, Margaret, apologized. You rolled your eyes and inhaled as much as you could, finally allowing her to finish tightening your godforsaken corset.
"Never been happier to give up the life that was completely laid out from me," your older sister Thalia laughed from your bed. "Fighting is so much cooler than being a baby factory."
"Hey! I'm not becoming a baby factory, just one for the kingdom to continue. And be glad I so graciously stepped up on your behalf," you crossed your arms.
"Yeah, yeah, love you too," she smiled as she stood to stand next to you in the mirror. "But you know you don't mind being married."
"I want to marry someone for love, not from some 'contest of suitors,'" you groaned. "Doubt I'm gonna fall in love by the end of the night, probably gonna start hating more people if anything."
"Stop acting like you hate so many people, you so cute and loving!!"
"Oh my gods stop. You know I hold my grudges, like Leo and Jason stealing all the lamb puffs!! Let's remember I only forgave Jason because he's our brother," you exclaimed. "And don't you laugh at me you know those are my favorites."
"Hey," she raised her hands. "No laughing here, I love those too."
You both stood in the mirror admiring yourselves. Thalia didn't like wearing dresses, but she still dressed nicely for your big day. You on the other hand were absolutely dressed to the nines. You had a long and poofy dress, it white and covered with Greek inspired gold accents. Despite how cute the dress was, the corset was stopping your circulation while simultaneously making your boobs look amazing, yet still classy. It was the pure definition of give a little - get a little.
"My gorgeous sister, anyone of those bogus princes will be lucky to have you."
"I mean isn't this just a formality? I don't actually have to marry any of them, right?"
Thalia gave you one of her looks, and you already knew the answer. You sighed as you hear a knock at the door, "Come in!"
The door creaked open, revealing your younger brother Jason. "C'mon Y/N, its time."
Thalia squeezed your shoulder before you both walked towards Jason. The three of you made your way to the entrance of the ballroom. Jason stood to your right as Thalia was on your left, the three of you had your arms interlocked as you listened to your father, Zeus, announced you to the suitors below while you walked down the stairs.
As you made it to the bottom, they left your side as the room clapped and you curtsied. Everyone went to their conversations and princes would slowly approach, one you recognized, Leo Valdez!
"Aw, are you and my little brother here to steal more lamb puffs," you joked, though were you really joking?
"C'mon, we were just kids, can we be excused," he laughed.
"Maybe one day, but do it at this party and all bets are off," you pointed your finger in his face. "Anyways, you too young to marry me, what're you doing here."
"I'll take any chance to hang out with my boy Jason, you know how it is. And we'll try not to eat all your food, princess fa-"
"Watch yourself," you playfully glared as you fluffed around his hair and walked off. The rest of the night consisted of many different men coming up to you trying to flirt and claim your hand in marriage, and it was tiring. They come up to you as if they were entitled to, for your time and effort, but not once did they ever ask you about yourself!! It was all me, me, me. YAWN!!
You saw Thalia standing off to the side with her friend Reyna, as you approached them you called out, "Thalia, Reyna."
"Whats up," you sister asked as they both turned to you.
"Please cover me, I need some fresh air without some 'bogus prince' up my ass for three seconds," you pleaded as the two girls laughed.
"We got you," Reyna smiled.
"Yeah go away sis," Thalia shooed and you silently thanked her. You slightly lifted the front of your dress, allowing you to scurry off a little faster. You tried being secretive about your dismissal, but being dressed like a giant snowball (if the gold was yellow snow, that sounds gross), made it quite difficult. Though of course you managed.
You dashed down an unreasonably long hallway till you made it to the balcony that overlooked the massive garden behind the palace. The greenery was absolutely serene, what would you would give to be down there right not, not looking from above on a terrace.
As you stood leaning over the edge, you felt the cool air running through your hair as the moonlight glinted off your tiara. Being a princess was cool, but you didn't know if you were ready for marriage, you were freshly 18. You were knocked out of your thoughts as you heard the door open from behind you.
You dropped your head, "Sorry dad, I just wanted some fresh air."
"Dad? Don't think I'm old enough for an 18 year old daughter," you recognized that voice as you internally groaned. You slowly turned your head and saw a figure standing just behind you. He was tall, with dark curly hair and big brown eyes, but oh my did you wish it was your dad.
"Luke," you said firmly as you turned back around.
"Princess Y/N," he stood next to you, staring off at the garden just as you were. "Now why are you out here and not with your suitors?"
"I wanted a breathe of fresh air away from all the heinous flirting, but as it seems," you looked at him up and down, distastefully, "it follows me everywhere."
"Oh, so you think I'm here for your hand in marriage, that's quite an audacious take is it not?"
"Your in my territory Castellan, one wrong move and I push you off this balcony and claim suicide," he let out an elegant laugh that made an imaginary irk mark appear above your forehead.
"Wow, you really still don't like me?"
"Nope."
"C'mon, we were just kids, you know that."
"And you humiliated me, you know that," you spat out.
Why did you not like Luke? While the two of you were younger, around 14, the both of you were betrothed by your parents. Luke was one of your closest friends, but when it came to the topic of marriage, he was cold and distant, and you couldn't help your adolescent self. You had a minor crush on the boy, 'nothing too serious,' at least that's what you told yourself. Except when a princess of Aphrodite played a foolish tricked, and got him to kiss her, the two were deemed to have more chemistry and better potential for the future of the kingdoms, whatever that meant, and your engagement was nulled.
Most people knew of your crush on Luke, and everyone who did also watched as he completely ditched you for a princess of Aphrodite. You were the talk among kingdoms, and pitied for months. 'Oh poor, princess Y/N, how that Hermes prince completely broke her heart.' It was enraging, that day you decided you didn't want another arranged marriage for convenience, but a marriage for love, thought at this point life didn't seem to be going in your favor.
"Why are you even here," you asked coldly. "You know I don't want to see you."
"Maybe I just wanted to stop by, say hello," you looked at him, you face contorted in a manner that showed him that this was a confusing thing for him to do, considering the history.
"I meant why are you here at all, as in you're already engaged. Isn't you wedding coming up soon?"
"The engagement was broken off," he said. You looked at him and smirked. "Well don't look too excited about it."
"Karma is truly a bitch, is it not?"
"She fell in love with a Hephaestus prince. Sucks, she was gorgeous was she not," it was now his turn to smirk, causing your anger to bubble to the surface as you glared at him.
"You haven't answered me," you shoved his chest. "Why. Are. You. Here."
"Hey no pushing," he looked down at you. "I was just wondering if we could give this whole engagement and marriage thing another shot?"
"You're unbelievable, you cheat on me and manage to get my name dragged through the 12 major kingdoms, and still have the audacity to come back when things don't work out the way you planned??"
"C'mon, we both know you had a crush me back then, why bother going through more insufferable trial and errors with other princes when you've already gotten to know and fallen for this prince right here once before," he question as he raised his hand, rubbing his thumb on your bottom lip in a kindly and romantic manner. "You know, you've grown into a beautiful woman, in many different ways if I may add."
You stared as him through your eyelashes as your boobs were threatening to spill from your corset, which was what he was referring to in his 'many different ways.' The nerve of this man.
"The past is the past," you swatted his hand away. "Screw you, you royal courtesan."
You heard him whistle as you threw the doors open and left him behind. You suddenly felt that the party was better than being stuck alone with the insufferable Castellan boy. Except he ran up to catch up to you.
"My dear princess, why can't you just forgive me," he cooed as you tried rushing off, finding great difficulty in your dress and heels.
"I will not be seen as an easy woman with no backbone, just because you may think you have a way with your words, I have no issue throwing you down those stairs," you said as you pointed toward the stairs, then you realized, you were pointing at the stairs. You were now back in front of the party, but your anger could no longer be contained, no matter how many eyes were beginning to dart your way.
"Calm down princess, you're supposed to stay contained in front of your suitors, you may scare them aware," his words were dripping with arrogance, the bastard. You couldn't help yourself, you slapped him, leaving a red hand mark on his cheek. Gasps erupted from the crowd, some small chuckles here and there, though they quickly died.
"I don't care whom I scare aware, I don't know who you think you are, but this is my Kingdom, you conceited harlot."
You then threw off your heals and picked up as much of your dress as possible and ran up the stairs, no longer caring about the party. You knew you were gonna catch hell from your father, but you didn't care if he struck you down with his lightning, you could no longer stand to stay in the room with all these thickheaded princes, especially one in specific. Thalia ran up behind you, helping drag your dress as you rushed to your room.
You slammed the door behind you as she started, "What the hell happened?"
"That stupid Hermes prince, thinking he could just waltz back into my home and act like he can "reclaim" me. After what I was put through??" You were pacing the room as you grabbed a pillow to shove your face into, and yelled.
"That little dick," Thalia shook her head. 15 minuted passed when the door slammed open, it was your father, Zeus.
"Now what made you thinking slapping prince Castellan in front of all those people was appropriate in any way, shape, or form," he bellowed, but you couldn't be bother to bring yourself in, or to speak with respect.
"I did what I felt was right, its not my problem he's an absolute bitch!"
"That language is unbecoming of a princess! And I will not stand by as you disrespect your now fiancé."
"Excuse me? What the fuck, are you talking about?"
"It was the only way we could fix your outburst," he reasoned, though he didn't sound like he cared about reasoning. You knew he wanted to marry you off, and how upset he was about the engagement first being nulled.
"Yeah, the only way without paying, you're just greedy and you use your kids to take the easy way out," you argued. Thalia just sat back, mouth agape at the scene in front of her.
"Who gave you the right to speak to me this way, I give you everything, and I can take it away at the snap of my fingers if you even dare to try and back out of this marriage. Be. Careful."
You both stared at one another in anger, you hands were balled into tight fists as you knew what your father was capable offend you knew you had to back down. You didn't want to seem like a woman with no backbone? Pathetic, if the crowd could see you now. "Fine."
You felt weak, that's how your fathers presence always made you feel. "Now," he started. "Your going to go back down and apologize."
You softly nodded, with the feeling of defeat washing over you, as you walked back toward the party. People seemed to be going back to talking, but quickly shushed as they noticed you making your way right back down the stairs. You scanned the room, and saw Luke standing by his father, Hermes, with a shit eating grin on his face.
You were tempted to not be bothered to apologize, but you had no choice. Time to go apologize to your new fiancé!!
"Hello to my new fiancé," he said in such an egotistical manner. "Anything you'd like to say to me?"
Gasps were heard among the crowd upon hear the word, 'fiancé.' "I'd like to apologize for my earlier actions, they were unbecoming for a princess, and disrespectful to do against my future husband."
You didn't meet his eyes once, keeping your eyes to the side or the floor. You knew if you looked at his face, no matter how hot, you'd try to leave behind a black eye. He then took your hand, and planted a light kiss on it, "Why thank you, princess."
You took the moment to pull him into a hug and whispered in his ear, "Disrespect me, and you'll be sorry. I'll strike you down with my lightning till there's absolutely nothing left and no one remembers you."
You separated and he looked at you with his classic, mischievous smirk. "Noted."
"Now if you all excuse me," you addressed the room. "I will now be calling it a night. Goodnight and thank you for coming."
You curtsied and walked off as you noticed Jason walking with you, with your discarded heels in his hand and he helped you back to your room. You were truly getting tired of these ungodly amount of stairs.
"Congratulations on the not-so-new engagement," Jason tried to sound upbeat, but it wasn't working. "No more boring parties I guess."
"I think I'd rather suffer through the parties at this point," you smiled as you leaned on his shoulder.
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oliviaswrldd · 4 months
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𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 ✰
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Hi guys, it's me again i i didn't knew that i'll share with something here again, but i am so take this info as you want. I hope it helps at least one person :))
I just scrolled through tumblr as i usually do and one post made me realize something. One girl said that she entered void state within 30 minutes. 30 minutes.
Let's skip manifestation, subliminals etc. - everything what we ""use"" to enter the Void State. We all know that all we need is OURSELVES and our own mind, but i won't repeat the same things that you probably heard 19993728 times.
When you are "trying" to enter the void state how long you're doing your method or non-method and then eventually fall asleep or give up and roll over to sleep?
All we need to do is simply Relax, Relax, Relax.
I admit, so many times when i'm "trying" achieve void i'm far away from relax, because i'm thinking when i'll enter? how long it takes yet?maybe i should try tommorow or other shit which turns into overthinking about me being mad how i can't enter the void state... Which results in me finally falling asleep (ik you can enter by waking up there) and the cycle repeating. You get me, right?
Reason why i'm saying about it is because i know there's so much more people thinking and doing like this. Even if my self-concept about void is actually good and i don't get distracted about 3D (of course sc doesn't matter at all when it comes to void!) i still see what i'm doing wrong.
The next time when you'll be "trying" to enter the void state just RELAX. You can let thoughts come and pass - just simply stop give a fuck about what if? when? how?
And don't look at the time. You are laying and doing ur method and thinking oh, i'm trying to enter the void almost 20 minutes, nothing is happening. What i'm doing wrong?
THAT'S THE POINT
Just simply Relax and don't care. Maybe give yourself chance to enter? (i'm talking about me as well) What's the point how long it takes when it comes to finally living your life from wildest dreams and making all your dreams come true!!
Of course ik you don't have to enter the void to have it everything but i'm kinda void state girl hehe
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I'm seriously considering posting more here because i have actually so much to say (not about void actually, because most of things has already been said) about shifting, my own journey and dr.
And thank y'all for the good reception of my previous post, I'm glad it reached more people
Have a nice day/night 🖤
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acowardinmordor · 6 months
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You Left Me - You Miss Me - Six
Sup, I finally wrote the next part. Mostly because of someone trying to find it via the fic finder blog, which gave me a big ol spike in anxiety about the lack of update.
Part One .... Part Four - Part Five
---
“Rob, no.”
“Don’t you tell me ‘no,’ Steven Dingus Harrington!”
“You can’t drive to Hawkins and kill the guy.”
“Oh yes I can! I'll take your bat with me!”
“Babe, you still don’t know how to drive, and I have work in the morning so I can’t take you.” 
“I’ll figure it out on the way!”
She wouldn’t. She wasn't going to drive to Hawkins. She would definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent kill Munson if she had the chance and Steve didn’t talk her out of it, but Robin wasn’t going to leave him alone when he’d had a breakdown an hour earlier. She wouldn’t let him sleep alone for the next few days, and she would go to work with him in the morning, and she’d probably skip her Stats class so she could stick by him after work too. 
It took Robin about thirty seconds to realize something had happened. 
That was the gap between her opening the car door, and Steve speaking. All he said was “hey, Robs” and she cut off her ramble about chlorofluorocarbons. The same way he could tell by the sound of her stirring soup, or which color eye shadow she wore, she knew immediately something had happened. 
She touched his arm.
And he had a breakdown in the college parking lot. 
Steve updated the tag on the side of the box and put it back on the shelf. He was,technically, working. Robin was ranting and using a tie-dye shirt as a prop. 
“You don’t need to crash our car trying to go kill a guy I’m not even mad at.”
“Ugh,” she flapped the shirt at him and slouched against the edge of the shelving unit. “Why not? Why are you not mad at him? How? I’m mad at him! He took the kids away from you! They’re annoying little shitheads but you loved them and he jus---”
“Rob,” he interrupted softly. He couldn’t get into that side of it right now. 
“Sorry. Sorry. But you’re not this nice, Stevie. You’re wonderfully bitchy and petty and it’s one of my favorite things about you, and I don’t get this. He sucks! This was super shitty! Why aren’t you mad at him for being an asshole?”
“It’s not his fault.”
“He said it was his fault!”
Eddie blamed himself, and maybe it was his fault, but it didn’t matter. Not in comparison.
“Are you going to inventory anything tonight, or is this just going to be me?”
“No! And why are you working?”
Because if he stopped, if he let himself turn his full attention towards it, he was going to fall apart again, and stupid as it was, checking inventory used up just enough of his focus that he couldn’t drown. Steve flicked through the stack of size smalls, and wrote it down on the list. “Uh, because we’re at work?”
“We both work tomorrow tonight and there is no way that Mary or Nick have ever looked at the stock sheets in their life, they aren’t going to look tomorrow either. No one will know.”
“I’ll know.” He glanced up to make eye contact for a second, and she caved with a groan. 
“If you were anyone but my soulmate, buddy…” She folded the shirt terribly, shoved it into the gap between the cardboard and the other shirts, and finally closed the box. 
Letting the silence settle gave Steve a minute to breathe, and reset himself without the rising tension. She knew that, and waited until, unspoken, she knew he was ready to keep going. 
“Steve.”
“I am mad, Robs. I am. You know that it’s.. At the kids, and at Hopper, and at myself for agreeing to this stupid idea, but I’m not mad at him.” 
“Why does he get special treatment?”
Hearing how that sounded, he tried again, “No, uh. I’m mad at him, but, like, the same way you get mad when the grandma in the crosswalk is going really slow and then drops something and goes back, and you end up stuck waiting again even though you should have made it through the light before. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s not like grandma was doing it specifically to fuck with you. She’s just, you know, shopping or whatever. 
“It wasn’t like there was a friendship there that he betrayed. He did something for his own life and it was sorta sucky, and it sucks for me, but he feels really shitty about it, so I don’t think he meant for them to, you know, vanish.”
Robin thumbed down the stack of Levis, whispering the count as she went. Three more sizes got counted before she responded. 
“You carried him out of there. You saved his life.”
Steve hummed absently. “He wasn’t bleeding that bad. His trash lid kept most of them off. I panicked when I saw blood and picked him up.”
“And that doesn’t make you friends?”
“It’s not like I only saved him because it was him. Not like I stopped and thought about whether I should get the bleeding guy to the hospital. Lifeguard, remember?” 
The other half of the thought, he bit back. He’d had nightmares about Billy after Starcourt. Dreams where he could have saved him, and didn’t. Where he could have saved Max from having to see that, having to recover from that. He saw Eddie bleeding, he saw one of his kids screaming, and there wasn’t a thought in his head. Just the need not to let it happen again. Not again. Not Dustin too. 
He kept his eyes on the inventory form so she didn’t see that part. 
“Still think it should have mattered more. Life saving creates friendships.”
“He was unconscious. I know you don’t know much about how guys act with each other, but generally both dudes are awake when they become friends.”
She snorted at his weak joke, throwing her pencil at him. It wasn’t anywhere near her. 
“New record, champ,  that one wasn’t even close enough for me to pretend to dodge it.”
“Ugh, I hate you.”
“Love you too, Robs.”
He got through a full set of kids dress shirts in peace, counted and listed. Then he pulled down the crate of kid’s dresses, next on the list to check. 
The whole can of worms would tear open when, if, when Eddie showed up with something from the kids. There was no version of that day that wouldn’t end with him falling apart. If he skimmed them, if he burned them, if he read them, if he wrote back, if he refused to take them at all, it didn’t matter. He was going to fall to pieces. 
If they wrote and it was real, if it was petty, if it was anger, if it was grief, if it was gloating he was gone, if it was begging him to come back, if it was proof that it was always fake, always a temporary placeholder until they found someone they actually like. The imminent breakdown was going to be bad no matter what. 
Like those safety videos in school about seat belts. 
Like knowing the car crash was coming, knowing it couldn’t be stopped, and knowing that nothing he did was going to make it any easier to bear. Slow motion, watching a car come -- a beat up old van come towards him. No time to put on a seat belt, no way to brace for it, just accept that it was going to happen and hope you survived.  
Robin cleared her throat to get his attention, and Steve blinked back to himself. 
“Did, uh, did you say something?”
Robin watched him for a minute. He let her this time. It was easier to let her see what he was feeling than try to turn it into words, and he needed her to let it go for now.. 
“I’m going to skip my bio lecture on Friday afternoon.”
“Birdie, you don’t--” 
“You are going to call in sick at the skate rink. We are going to make snickerdoodles and brownies and the cracker bark thing, and order pizza, and we’re going to make ourselves sick eating too much, and we’re going to watch some random movie on mute and make up our own story and dialogue. Got it?”
“Got it,” he smiled.
And it wasn’t going to make it all better. Eating two pounds of butter in a day wasn’t going to make it easier when Eddie showed up, but it was like hitting pause on that video. Car crash was still coming, but he could look away for a while. 
***
Steve clung to the pass shelf from the kitchen as the expected car crash hit him on Monday. John, always eager for the chance to throw someone out of the diner, looked over Steve’s shoulder. It was a nice moment. A nice little thought before he had to face what he’d agreed to. If he asked, John would throw Eddie out. Literally. Nice image, but not the one he got to see.
Instead, he declined the offer, and grabbed the plates. 
“Gimme a minute,” he mumbled to Eddie, heading to the sweet elderly couple celebrating the birth of their second granddaughter with a leisurely breakfast. If he spent an extra minute talking to them, complimenting the polaroid of what seemed to be some kind of mashed potato swaddled in white and pink, it was to get a good tip, not because he was stalling. 
Eddie hadn’t moved when he got back. He was a step back from the counter, stiff, holding a paper grocery bag under one arm, eyes trained on the ugly teal of the stool’s seat.
“Well?” Steve asked bitchily, “Did you bring milk and eggs and bread, honey?”
He put it on the counter, clutching the folded top hard, like he was making sure it stayed shut. 
Like it was full of spiders or something. Mutual sentiment.
Steve grabbed it, tossing it onto the shelf where they kept personal belongings and the leftovers they’d called dibs on. He hadn’t expected Eddie Munson to be up to Franklin at eight am on a Monday. Eddie wasn’t a morning person. Steve thought he’d have a few more hours to brace. Now he had to deal with customers while that bag burned a hole in the back of his head. 
Luckily, Rebecca was serious when she said he could get mean with guests if he wanted to. Today wasn’t a want. It was going to be a necessity. 
Eddie was still standing there. 
“You can tell them I got it, or whatever,” he tried to dismiss him.
Something that looked like the tortured remains of a smile flickered on Eddie’s face. He gave up after a second and nodded too many times. “Thanks. Thank you. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, right?”
It took a minute for Steve to catch up to the question. 
“I haven’t said I’m going to answer them. Or open them. Or keep them.”
Eddie was quiet for a minute, still not looking up, and Steve’s Travel-Size-Robin was vibrating with the need to make him so they could guess what the hell he was thinking. 
“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday mornings?” he repeated. 
“Yeah. Sure, yeah,” Steve gave up. 
Eddie left, and Steve did the entire day’s front of house prep before Susan got in, trying to keep his head away from that damn bag. 
***
Steve didn’t open it. 
He fell asleep in Robin’s bed, grateful he didn’t have other work that evening, and doubly grateful when she made him eat some crackers and drink some water before they passed out for the night. 
If he was waiting for the impact the day before, seeing Eddie again the next day was so unexpected that the crash whooshed past him without an impact. He didn’t sit down, and he looked a little rough, probably from driving to Franklin in the early morning twice in two days. 
“Do you have…?”
“No? No,” Steve boggled at him, “How could I have anything for you to even -- No. Man, no.” 
Eddie nodded. 
Eddie left. 
***
Steve stared at the bag instead of taking a nap before their shift in the stockroom. Didn’t open it, that was way, way beyond him, but he did manage to look directly at it, and it was only a few saltines, but he did successfully eat. 
Robin, angel, light of his life, soulmate and perfect person got in the car after class, handed him a kinda gross protein bar that she stole from an athlete in her class who she didn’t like, and made him eat it. 
She didn’t make him talk about the bag shaped elephant in their apartment, and she spent the entire shift explaining the way Ann Carson’s translations of Greek plays had totally shifted how people read them, making them more accessible, and how the push to do the same with Shakespeare was incredible. 
When he went to crawl into his own bed that night, she grumbled, brought her favorite pillow, and climbed in after him. 
***
Eddie walked in at quarter to seven, right after three four tops seated.
“No.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Eddie looked small, probably because he was speaking at a normal volume, sounding like a normal human, which ran opposite to how Eddie was in Hawkins. He also looked like crap. 
“Why are you here, dude? You hate mornings. You don’t have to leave that early, I work until one.”
Eddie scrunched his face, but didn’t answer that. 
“No?” he asked instead.
Someone at table six shouted ‘waiter!’ 
“I’ll bring your coffee in a damn minute!” Steve yelled back, half turning with the carafe in his hand.
“Steve?”
“Look, I don’t have anything for you. Nothing. You don’t need to waste your time. I haven’t opened it.”
“There’s more than one -- oh,” Eddie scrubbed over his face. “Okay. Yeah. Okay. Do-- Are you going to? Open it.”
Thinking about opening it made him want to run away to Canada. 
Thinking about never knowing made him want to puke. 
Whatever weird face Steve made was something Eddie could translate. He only raised his head for a moment, just long enough to look. But then he covered his face with both hands, taking a deep breath that shuddered on the exhale. 
“See you Monday,” he said as a goodbye.
“Where’s my coffee?” the same guy yelled. Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with customers and whatever the fuck was going on with Eddie’s early morning emotional mess. 
“Wait a second,” he complained to both of them at once. Steve grabbed one of the big mugs, the ones they used for the expensive hot chocolate, filled it with coffee, and set the pour jar of sugar next to it. He looked from Eddie to the cup, pointedly. “Don’t crash. Bring the cup back with you.”
The asshole yelled for him again, and Steve turned on the terrifyingly polite smile that Robin had helped him hone. Then he deployed it on the asshole at table six. 
---------------
We are headed towards Steddie, on a path that will, hopefully, not feel like I brushed off all this to get there. However. Wow, they're hurting right now. You can't have Eddie's pov yet, it would spoil things, but. just. trust me. ow.
Still don't do tag lists. Once I know how many parts it'll be, this will go to Ao3, promise.
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