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#maybe bc over active imagination and finding comfort in those characters
oscill4te · 3 months
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there is a serenity that comes with this hyperfixation dying down..... i used to be sad whenever this happened, but this time, im just thankful i had that intense hyperfixation when I really needed it.
now that my life is expanding a bit (as uncomfortable as it is, its been good that ive been seeing family more and talking to old friends), its like... i dont feel the need to mentally escape into this cartoon nearly as much anymore. Its a bit nice that there are other things make me smile now.
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dustofthedailylife · 1 year
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brainrot time. kaveh and alhaitham with a roommate that’s just a mix of them both
alhaitham’s logic, kaveh’s compassion, alhaitham’s academic inclinations, kaveh’s ‘artistic soul’ (as he would say), alhaitham’s observance and perception, kaveh’s charm, alhaitham’s intelligence, kaveh’s drive, etc. etc. idk
alhaitham’s laziness, kaveh’s impulse control, alhaitham’s sharp tongue, kaveh’s lack of self preservation, alhaitham’s apathy, kaveh’s meddling tendencies, both of their stubborness
they both have a love hate relationship with these traits of yours;
for one, you compliment and contrast them in the important ways, and it’s always a treat for you to show such similarities to them. it makes them feel less alone, more seen.
but then, it’s the same for their roommate, and you end up reminding them of the other.
and that in itself is also good and bad, because despite the fact that they hate each other, that’s still their ex(?) best friend, and those are still the traits that made them fall in love with each other all those years ago (platonically, if you’re not a poly enthusiast.)
anyways, time for fun stuff:
maybe roommate is a researcher that specializes in documentation— specifically, sketching down any relics, sites, fauna and flora etc. etc. that can’t be brought home.
so kaveh is always dragging you into art activities, like those wine painting classes, or simply finding a scenic spot and having a picnic while you do your individual art things together, and alhaitham taking you out to book stores and libraries and cafes.
alhaitham subtly brags about getting to reach his arm around you under the excuse of grabbing a book and sitting close (maybe even low key cuddling depending on how bold you are) to share a book, and hearing your soothing reading voice. and kaveh brags back about one of you holding the other’s hand to demonstrate a specific technique, or him cuddling up to your back to look over your shoulder so he can ‘properly critique’ your work, or the both of you sketching each other.
them trying to subtly influence you to encourage similarities and discourage whatever reminds them of the other.
you just letting them try with a knowing smile :)
you being the referee of their arguments. also saying that you’re staying out of it but instigating anyways
they’ll ask you to judge their debates, and get so smug when you approve or disprove one of their points
them letting the annoying things you do slide but immediately getting on the other’s ass for doing the same thing
teasing kaveh just to see him pout. being only (other) person that could get a rise out of alhaitham
you knowing the best ways to comfort them, show affection, stroke their egos, check their egos, fluster them, and most importantly, piss them off P;
even funnier if roommate is a chaos monger that uses their skills for evil. they will, very occasionally, form a truce just to get you back. y’all have fun.
anywho!! did you ever get a similar brainrot ask with a martial artist!reader? I was just curious, also bc tumblr will occasionally eat my asks
[Roommate AU brainrots]
Hiiii! Yes I got your other ask don't worry. I just haven't had time to reply to it yet since I am a bit on a tight schedule at the moment and wanted to take my time with your brainrots and read them properly 😭
I love this so much! You'd be the perfect counterbalance to either of them.
I'd love to just sit down to draw together with Kaveh. That seems so incredibly comforting and relaxing for some reason. (I also imagine he'd be a red wine guy and I'm a white wine girl so that would be also the perfect contrast for the wine taste haha!). He is my comfort character, don't perceive me, I'm daydreaming 🤭 Also makes me realize I need more artist friends... I have none ;_;
Also going to book stores with Alhaitham? YES. He'd have to drag me out of there at some point because I'm not leaving on my own.
And YES, they'd so brag about what they did together with you to the other guy. They love you but they also have to one up each other constantly lmao.
And about getting in their arguments and them letting it slide when it was you... yep, 100%. Reminds me of that one thing I wrote already called "Cookies". Completely how they'd act.
"Kaveh/Alhaitham did you do XY again" "It was me." "Oh, Y/N? Well, don't worry. I'll take care of it then."
They're down bad BAD.
Thank you for your ask! I loved reading it 🤭
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wow wow wow, i read redemption and tbh I was never a fan of the "dom" part of smut but you completely changed my mind omg. I literally love the backstory you gave on Carlos, it added so much to the tension for me and I also absolutely love it when authors make the reader part of the social media team. Idk, maybe that's my new career goal but it literally sounds like so much fun. But I just also wanted to type that before you posted the first chapter of flat spin, I was literally craving any Carlos content bc I had seen it all LMAO. I'm so grateful that you spend your own personal time to writing anything at all, like damn, I wish I could pay you for this omg. Sorry for ranting, I'm just glad that an author loves Carlos too and I'm also in my feelings lol. I wanted to ask, what made you start writing for f1 drivers?? Sending lots of love <3
Okay I'm sorry for making you wait a bit for this I wanted to be able to sit down and give you a proper answer so (also never apologise for ranting at me a long ask/comment is worth EVERYTHING)
Firstly thank you so so SO MUCH for this ask, hearing things like this make me feel so appreciated and valued as a writer it honestly makes me so emotional it's hard to express haha
Also I'm so glad you liked the backstory I went with, the idea hit me when I was in the middle of baking and I was like idk how people will feel but it was so fun to write and yes omg social media team is a very fun role to write. I think because theres a lot of freedom as we don't fully know what goes on behind the scenes??
Okay and then the last bit: what made me start writing for F1?
This is such an interesting question and it comes down to a couple things so I'm gonna try and break it down so it's not a rambling essay lol
So I've always been the kind of person who has a lot going on in my head. I have the "running commentary" voice in my head and paired with an over active imagination it goes a bit nuts sometimes. I often find myself inserting people or characters into my daily life that I find familiar or comforting and just like imagining they're with me or chatting to me etc and I also find myself daydreaming a lot and imagining myself in their universes and how I'd interact/where I'd fit in so most of my fic ideas spring from those moments where I'll be stewing on this one scenario for a while or repeatedly and then I find once I start writing it down it's really easy to start fleshing it out
When I got into F1 it was actually right in the middle of the revision period for my exams and I wasn't initially that interested but I kept getting F1 tiktoks and my dad has followed it since before I was born so it's always been a sort of background constant and I've always known the main names/championship fighters so it kind of came quite naturally. Especially when I started getting the funnier videos of like the radios and interview clips.
And then because I'm me and I'm out of control I started thinking this guy who kept singing Smooth Operator on the radio and making jokes about owning a Golf was kind of funny and because I'm quite good at putting 2+2 together and spiralling with the answer I quickly worked out he was called carlos and he was cute af
So I started reading a couple of carlos/reader fics and slowly getting my head around who the other drivers were and the sport side of it
Anyway that's all background, I started writing Flat Spin during my exams because I was getting really stressed and needed some comfort. The initial idea for it came from hanging out in bed alone and feeling a bit sorry for myself, which turned into "how would carlos comfort someone after a bad race?" And as you can see it spiralled from there. And then because I have an overactive imagination and poor self control by the time I'd done with exams and had a week off I'd accidentally knocked up a plan for a full fic scenario and I was really excited about it
I'm also not gonna lie and say I'm not inspired by other peoples works, I quite often read a fic and then am like wow I love this idea I love this universe and my own takes and ideas kind of blossom and bounce off those
And then Flat Spin blew up and I started getting a flood of new followers/comments/asks/notes etc which was hugely lovely and motivating
Couple that with me becoming fully invested in F1 and realising I'm fond of most of the drivers and also that the setting of the sport and the paddock is so diverse and interesting that there are so many different ways you can explore characters interacting, different jobs and relationships, places all over the world gives SO MUCH versatility and that's really exciting when you have the room to write and explore within a "universe" without things feeling repetitive, boring and recycled it was just a perfect outlet to branch my fanfiction into
I also just love RPF and real world based works over true fantasy. I'm actually in several other fandoms that I don't write for just because I feel they're too complex and I couldn't do it justice
I am aware that was huge so
Tldr; creating comfort content for myself, realising there was a very positive and active audience, the environment and aesthetic of F1 lends itself to so many different opportunities it's so much fun
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leejeongz · 3 years
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nsfw a-z BAE JINYOUNG (CIX)
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requested: yes, by anon
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
he sometimes forgets that you need to be looked after once it's all over but if you remind him, he’s gonna do whatever you need. his favourite tiny activity to do for you is putting on some fluffy slippers for you for comfort. he just thinks it’s so cute and it makes him feel relaxed too.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he really loves your legs! the way they wrap around him and pull him in closer when your about to cum is one of his favourite moments during sex. he really likes running his fingers up and down them, knowing it drives you crazy and turns you on.
his favourite thing about him is his tongue. he knows it works wonders and that you love it, anything you love he definitely loves it too. he’s the type of guy that will lick any exposed skin just to try and turn you on, and would you look at that, it works.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
this guy doesn’t think too much about it but when he does cum, it looks so fucking pretty on you. and he tells you how pretty it looks too, vvv sincerely. it mostly happens either on your tummy or over your lips (he likes to drag is dick all over your lips while he’s cumming, hence why his aim is so good). other, rarer places include all over your face, down the back of your hand when you’ve finished him off by hand and on your inner thighs.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he wants a threesome with you and another girl SO badly but he doesn’t want you to feel jealous and he’s happy with just you anyway. he just wants the experience.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
you cannot be bae jinyoung and not be experienced… that’s all i’m saying…
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
he loves sitting you on the edge of the counter/sink so butterfly is his favourite position. you can easily wrap your legs around him in this position which is absolutely something he’s into, especially if you’re close to cumming on his dick and he gets to feel them shaking.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
v e r y serious. he’s focused and he’s in the zone, nothing can make him snap out of it. the only laughs you’re getting out of him are ones when you do something “pathetic” that makes him wanna fuck u even more.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
pretty much clean shaven, if not very neatly trimmed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
despite being rather rough and seemingly distanced, it’s actually all very romantic. he loves being close to you and maintaining eye contact throughout.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he tugs one out in the shower at least twice a week. something about the hot and steaminess of the shower gets him all worked up, not to mention it’s private and he can take as much time as he needs. he also uses the wall for stability and imagines fucking you against it.
something that he gets off to WHENEVER it happens (like u could catch him off guard while he’s just chilling with his friends) is phone sex. he loves hearing your heavy breathing down the phone and will drop anything for it.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
corruption- this man loves turning you into his dirty little whore, he would love to see you change from a sweet innocent girl. he’s gonna teach you things that are beyond your imagination and that soon become a regular for you two. there’s always something he can teach you, even if you think you know everything. he giggles about how attached you become to the things he’s taught you too as he’s proud of what he’s done to you. the whole reason why he degrades you is so that you know your place and that you learn to be like this just for him.
when he’s feeling less dominant (it’s rare but it does happen) he likes using the term “mommy” but if you’re not into it, he won’t say it.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
his ultimate favourite place is in bed but he also likes to fuck you in the bathroom, in the shower. he likes fucking you passionately under the sheets, where it’s hot and sweaty and dark so you can’t see much, it’s all about feeling.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
lingerie, especially sets or pieces that he’s bought you (and hasn’t torn yet). you just look so good, particularly in lace, that he cannot wait to take it off you. it drives him c r a z y knowing that you’re feeling yourself in it too, the confidence is sexy.
not only seeing you in lingerie, but also just dresses that show off your legs. he’s a real big lover of your legs and whenever you show them off, he goes wild. this is why most “fancy dates” actually eventually just turn into you and him not even making it out of the house because he’s already got his head buried between your legs.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
absolutely no non con. he would constantly be asking if everything was okay with you if you didn’t stop him and tell him it ruined the mood. NO NON CON.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
he does love receiving but he prefers giving. he prefers making you cum on his tongue and getting you soaking before he fucks you. he’s not the type of guy who won’t eat you out after he’s fucked you either, he does not care, anything to make you cum. he loops his arms around your thighs so you can’t move or pushes your torso into the the bed/back into the mirror. he kisses you after so you can taste yourself on his lips.
when receiving, eye contact is a must. if you don’t look at him, then there will be consequences, yet idk how you can’t look at him while he’s pulling your hair in such a way that forces you to look up at him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
usually fast and rough but not without passion and love.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
not a fan. he just can’t throw himself into something like that just for the sake of it. it takes time to get you both so worked up, it’s not just something that can be done in a matter of minutes.
but if you consider phone sex a quickie (?) then sure he’s all for it
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he’s down to take risks if you are. he’d do pretty much anything, especially if you’re into it. taking risks is something he wants to introduce to you no matter who you are or what you want, there’s always something he can do.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
2-3 rounds if you want it, he’s up for it. given that he’s giving oral more than receiving, sex seems to last a long time, but he won’t actually last that long inside you.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
oh he LOVESSSS using toys on you to tease you. like using a vibrator against your clit and telling you not to cum is something he actively looks forward to, seeing you struggle and fight against it for so long.
he also likes when you suck his dick and use a toy on yourself at the same time. like it’s getting you wet for him and he’s getting pleasure too without even lifting a finger.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
his middle name is tease lol. he loves edging you and denying your orgasms until you beg him to let you release. he also enjoys it when you tease him but that is saved for special occasions when all the roles are reversed. if he was in dom mode, you are under no circumstances allowed to tease him.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
not that bothered about having loud sex, he’s more likely going to tell you to shut up (and that your mouth is meant for sucking not for talking anyway).
he himself doesn’t make much noise, it’s more about the facial expressions that let you know when he’s having a good time.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
(ok so i decided i’m not gonna do those mini scenario things for this anymore bc they aren’t that good lmao instead i’m just gonna write stuff that doesn’t really fit anywhere else)
this guy gets real sweaty while fucking you. this is super beneficial, which you both soon learn as it helps you slip between positions. not only is it great physically, but it also makes everything more intimate and you find it’s something that actually really turns you on when it’s him. he’s gonna run his hand through his hair and droplets are gonna fall on you and you ARE gonna like it.
this man absolutely adores eye contact in the moment. it really gets him in the mood and shows you that he’s focused on you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
you cannot convince me he isn’t packing okk? maybe he isn’t the girthiest but it’s definitely long and for some reason (idk why but go with me on this) i think he’s circumcised.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
he’s horny when you’re horny. well he’s gonna be horny whenever you want him to be really. he doesn’t want sex all the time, but if you want it it’s gonna make him want it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
honestly 🤭 pretty much as soon as he’s cleaned up and helped you he’ll be zonked. he likes to fall asleep on your shoulder while your on your phone because he knows that’s something you do most of the time after sex.
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anarmorofwords · 3 years
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I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me
In this version there would be:
Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships
Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die
Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer
The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that
Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia
No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object
Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time
Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at
Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help
Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know
Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic
Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him
Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles
Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time
Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance
Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out
Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things
The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him
The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something
Good tid parents
James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences
Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad
No fetishizing mlm/wlw
Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick
Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse
Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table
Tatiana dies at the end yay
It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have
The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot
hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time
DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀
In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT
Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS
ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so
yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too
yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves
that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!
ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.
could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk
yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character
ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.
ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him
then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)
Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse
Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...
Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?
Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed
Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?
yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them
It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.
I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group
no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss
yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.
Gracetopher bonding over science yes
obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!
ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:
I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this
if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that
...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"
Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU
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Hi I’m a menace and to remind y’all of that today I’ll be ranking the bnha boys by how likely they are to wash their hands after using the bathroom <3
Midoriya: yes but only bc his mom drilled it into his head that he has to (and because he saw a cheesy video about the importance of washing your hands that all might starred in, but mostly bc his mom told him to). Everyone say thank you to Inko. 9/10
Todoroki: yes. Every time. But mostly because endeavor doesn’t (& probably told him it’s gay to do so or smth which is why he knows this) so Todoroki decided that means he has to. Don’t know whether this one is a win or a loss, but the conclusion is don’t shake hands with the number two hero <3. 10/10
Iida: yes I don’t think he likes the concept of germs. 10/10
Kirishima: you know....I am so torn on this one. I really want to believe that he does but my brain is telling me that he doesn’t. Actually wait I subscribe to the headcanon that he has two moms so surely they would teach him the importance of washing your hands after using the bathroom. 8/10
Kaminari: not until his female friends find out and yell at him for his lack of hygiene (and even then he still doesn’t see the big deal). Gross. 2/10
Aoyama: yes absolutely. “How can I be the most sparkling if my hands don’t sparkle too?” 10/10
Shoji: yes. Takes a long time in the bathroom bc he washes All his hands meticulously. 10/10
Sero: most of the time. 7/10
Sato: ykw my brain’s telling me yes so we’re gonna go with that. He bakes so he probably takes washing his hands seriously. 8/10
Tokoyami: listen I have no earthly idea. Maybe Tokoyami stans have more input on this but to me his mysterious aura extends to his bathroom habits. ???/10
Ojirou: uh. Probably? 7/10
Koda: another brain telling me yes moment. 8/10
Bakugou: yes but only because of his quirk. He also has to wash them before he uses the bathroom for the same reason. 15/10
M*neta: oh you already know there’s no way in hell this bitch washes his hands like ever. He has sticky little child hands. This contributes to yet somehow manages not to be the main reason why nobody will willingly touch him. -17/10
Monoma: I’m gonna say yes and if he ever finds out anyone from 1a doesn’t he will make fun of them for it for months. 9/10
Awase: I think so...he has a touch activated quirk so I hope so. 7/10
Kaibara: ok so he’s one of the 1b students I know less about but I’m going to say yes as well just a slightly less confident yes. 6/10
Kamakiri: yes...? Since his quirk makes blades I’d say that his parents probably taught him it was very important to have clean hands in case he accidentally cut himself or someone else (he doesn’t want to cause infections). 8/10
Kuroiro: I don’t know? Based on vibes I’d say 7/10
Shishida: oh absolutely. He’s said to be intellectual and polite when not in beast form so yes. 10/10
Shoda: yes. He’s the class vice rep and seems responsible so 8/10
Tsuburaba: the vibes he gives off say no, sorry :/ 4/10
Tetsutetsu: he gives off the same “he might not” vibes as Kirishima but I don’t think he was raised by lesbians so 5/10
Fukidashi: I’m gonna say yes. 7/10
Honenuki: ok so yes he does wash his hands after going to the bathroom but I feel like due to the nature of his quirk he’s likely to have little pieces of earth and stuff he softened on him most of the time. However bc this isn’t a ranking of how clean they are, he still gets a 9/10
Bondo: yes. Sweet boy. I feel like he often has sticky hands bc of his quirk, but again that’s not related and I think he actually washes them a lot probably. 9/10
Rin: probably. 7/10
Shinsou: uhhhh I’m gonna say yes? He seems like a pretty reasonable guy. 8/10
Mirio: oh god uh. I’d really like to think so. However I am not sure so 6/10
Tamaki: yeah. 9/10
Shigaraki: yk everyone’s expecting me to say no & yeah that makes sense but because his skin is so dry I think that when he has the chance he over washes and showers so like...6/10??
Dabi: if he does it’s only bc he’s worried about infecting his wounds, but I’m still gonna say no (I’m sorry I swear I actually rlly like dabi but I can’t lie to myself). 3/10
Kurogiri: see based on his personality I’d say yes but based on a certain revelation about uhh. Why he’s Like That (iykyk) I’d say that it really depends (sorry I can’t go into more detail than that without having to tag this post as spoilers and I rlly don’t want to do that so that as many people see my awful takes as possible). 5/10
Mr. Compress: my irrational grudge against him (which literally doesn’t make sense bc he kidnapped bakugou, whom I dislike, and marbled ov*rhaul, whom I dislike, ‘s arm. There is NO reason for me to dislike this man but every time I see him my brain is like “bitch.” Sorry mr compress I literally have no justification for disliking you) says no but realistically I think he probably would. 8/10
Twice: yes. 9/10
Spinner: has a debate with himself on whether stain would wash his hands after using the bathroom and can’t come up with an answer. 5/10
Stain: on the one hand I want to say yes but on the other hand he will literally ingest anyone’s blood without worrying if it will give him diseases (and like maybe that’s part of his quirk but if it is it isn’t explained)...6/10
Gentle Criminal: ok so I hate this bitch too (sorry ik he’s not that bad but I think the British accent made me go rabid) but I think he probably would as part of his gentleman character? 8/10
Overhaul: I hate the bitch but he hates germs so he would. At least his victims can take comfort in the fact that when he kills them he has very clean hands. 10/10
All might: hm. I’m gonna say yes most of the time but only bc I can imagine him doing a cheesy promotion video about hygiene and because David Shield and Sir Nighteye would undoubtedly beat his ass if he didn’t. 7/10
Present mic: yes I think??? He must spend a lot of time on his hair so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he cares about personal hygiene. 8/10
Eraserhead: at first I was gonna be like “no <3” bc he gives off those vibes but then I thought that there’s a sink in the bathroom so he probably thinks it’s logical to use it. For that reason only aizawa stans are safe. 7/10
Kamui woods: ykw? No. If Mt. Lady ever finds this out she will clown on him for years probably. 3/10
Hawks: piss hands mc gee. 3/10
Gang orca: absolutely. King. He needs the water to hydrate anyways. 10/10
Tiger: yes. 10/10
Best jeanist: ...yes? Idk my brain says it would be funny if he claimed to be a fashion icon but then didn’t practice simple personal hygiene... 6/10
Rock Lock: ABSOLUTELY. HE’S THE ONLY ONE WITH COMMON SENSE IN THIS SHOW SO. 11/10
Gran Torino: no and every fact I learn about him makes me marvel at the fact that he isn’t dead yet (yes ik this isn’t an official fact but shhh). 1/10
Sir Nighteye: ok again based on his character I’d say yes, but how funny would it be if he didn’t. 7/10
Manual: yeah. 9/10
Endeavor: no. 0/10
Natsuo: Fuyumi would yell at him if he didn’t plus he’s in med school. 8/10
David Shield: this man is a globally respected scientist, and he has definitely made mistakes but not washing his hands after using the bathroom has never been one of them. 10/10
Can’t’cha-see-kun: yes and he’s DEVASTATED when he finds out that endeavor doesn’t (avsnsvsjwvjdbs yeah I only included this one as a joke) 9/10
Ok that’s not every bnha man but if I listed every bnha man this post would be way too long so I’m done for now <3
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mira--mira · 3 years
Note
Question from an aspiring writer:
How do you stay motivated on one project for such a long time?
I personally have the attention span of a goldfish, and whenever I have an idea I either have to write down everything my brain can spew immediately or have it be lost in the void for eternity.
Never mind going back and turning my outline into a fic or gasp editing.
Do you have any tips and/or tricks you use?
Ok, I got completely carried away with this just fyi, but hopefully I ended up answering your actual question 😂 tl;dr at the bottom.
To be honest, staying motivated is a tricky thing, one that I feel I'm still learning how to do even now and varies a bit between shortfics/oneshots and multi-chaptered fics/longfics. For a bit of background, I've been writing fanfic for about a year and a half, but I've been writing original fiction since I was seven, over a decade and a half, and I still wrestle with it. It's definitely a learning process.
One thing I wish someone would have told me when I was starting out was the power of ~scenes~ in either multi-chapters or one-shots. All writing is ultimately made up of scenes, but if you're struggling to put things together, focusing on an individual scene, or multiple short scenes, might help you focus on getting something completed, and it's something that eventually can be applied to longer works as well. Writing has been a snowball process for me and once I started getting anything completed, I felt more secure in knowing what I could write comfortably and what was out of my comfort zone, eventually getting to the point where I felt comfortable tackling bigger and longer projects and knowing I could stay with them.
OoT's interlude chapters and the snippet series are both good examples of scenes because I wrote them with that intention...even if most of them are actually two or three scenes combined. "Gai meets Hashirama and Madara", "Hashirama gets revenge on Kakashi", "Tatsuki and Hashirama pick flowers for Madara, then give them to him" etc. were all my starting points.
If you're first starting out and feel comfortable with outlines of some sort before you start writing I would encourage you to try and write down a bullet point list of your scene(s) and what you know you want to happen in it.
"Gai meets Hashirama and Madara"
* Hashirama meets Gai first, mistakes him for Lee.
* Madara is shopping for a gift for Hashirama
* Madara finds Gai and Hashirama, they spar, Gai kicks his ass, both of them love him.
This is how my initial outline looked for the first interlude chapter, technically each one of these "points" are their own scenes stuck together. Outlining is different for everyone, some people like super specific points, others even less detail than this. For me this is a nice middle that gives me a roadmap for the chapter, but allows plenty of room to naturally diverge and add detail. Play around with outlines and see what you're comfortable with/what gives you the best results.
I'm not sure of your individual situation, but if you're struggling to put together fics in general something like this might help. Doing this process again and again personally helps me stay on track and gives me a sense of progress.
This sense of progress is ultimately key and why I think motivation differs slightly between one-shots/short fics and longfics. If you confine the individual scene to a one-shot, that might give you the motivation to complete it. Even if you start writing and you get interrupted/can't finish having in one setting, bullet points sometimes help inspire me to finish because I'm not starting from scratch when I return to writing. The whole "eat an elephant one piece at a time" thing was difficult for me to learn, but ultimately proved true. Learning to chip away at something bit by bit is going to be the only (healthy) way to write longer projects you can't complete in one sitting.
For longer projects, it's a similar beast just on bigger levels and with an added dimension. I would actually suggest something similar to OoT for a starting project because it is ultimately broken up into arcs that you know and can reference, instead of making a lot of og content for a fan setting. Maybe not go into it thinking, 'I'll do a complete rewrite' but once you feel like you're ready for a longer project 30K+ or so, the rough outline method and the ability to follow arcs was what got me started when I eventually decided to make the fic multi-chaptered. Try writing one arc and keep yourself contained in that. Now the added dimension aspect in general for longfics is that you eventually want to plot individual chapters in a multi-chaptered longfic and individual arcs (character, plot, etc). This comes with practice. I honestly don't think there's a way to get around that. It's something that I'm still trying to work on and I can look back at my early work and see how I've improved, how I can recognize where things didn't go well in certain places, and how I would change them if I was writing today. That's a good thing to be able to do, it means you've grown! The other thing I find that helps with staying motivated week after week for longer projects is to roughly know where you're going and to try to be excited about a plot point/scene/chapter/etc that you're going to write. Really try to hype yourself up. For me, it's a moment that comes at the very end of the chunin arc and I start grinning even thinking about it because I know it's going to be awesome. It's always what gets me through the rough days, imagining the moment I'll get to actually write that scene in its entirety (it's definitely already outlined and I mentally play it out at least twice a week lol) and is a big motivating drive.
So far I think this is pretty standard stuff if you're an outliner and you've been writing for a few years, but the other thing motivational-wise for me is having a schedule. From reading this message alone, I would not suggest it for you right away. Get comfortable finishing small things and feeling confident that if you let an idea sit for a week or two, you can pick it back up and continue. But if you eventually dip your toes into longfics (and don't plan to pre-write everything before you publish) that routine and rhythm really helps keep me going. I've made a commitment, I've posted it online, I'm going to stick to it. No one is going to jump down my throat if I fail to keep it (this is still a hobby and having fun is the most important thing) but in my mind I should commit to it unless something irl prevents me from doing so. Don't put a tight deadline on yourself, I'd start with once a month or if you write shorter chapters every three weeks. This also would help you build up and get a readership, interaction being another big motivational key.
Also, it's important to accept that sometimes you bite off more than you can chew, and when you feel completely demotivated from a fanfic project...it's okay to drop it. It's okay to take a step back and work on something else. Maybe you'll come back to it, maybe you won't. If you can, try to pinpoint what it was about that project that made you demotivated, were you pushing yourself too much and you got burnt out, was it an ongoing series and your interest for canon lagged and so did the fic, was it just too stressful to keep juggling plotpoints, etc. and keep that in mind moving forward. Every experience can be a learning one and eventually make you a better writer that can eventually tackle those bigger projects. Don't be afraid to take on big aspirational projects, but don't walk into them blind either. Above all, and this is repeated a lot because it's true, enjoy what you write. Some days you might not. That's true with anything, but any project you take on the good should outweigh the bad.
This is my wrap up of the motivational section but I also wanted to throw my two-cents in about editing because "oh no editing" is a perspective I've seen from a lot of writers, and used to have myself, but I think is going to stifle your progress in the long run.
Here's the thing: you need to look forward to editing.
You don't have to be jumping for joy, but editing, imo, should be a positive thing. You have all these great ideas, you made it into a fic, something you wrote, and now you get to go back and make it even better! This is a tough attitude to adopt. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. It took me a long time to unlearn the negative attitude and even then sometimes I still wish the editing was already done once I type in the last period. But I've learned to at least appreciate what editing does and I try to think to myself as I'm going through and making changes things like "wow, this suddenly became so much better. X plot point that I thought of ten pages from now is suddenly being hinted at and doesn't come out of left field. The transition points are a lot cleaner, it's not so jarring anymore. I bet the readers are going to love this little detail. Here's some foreshadowing that I hope someone picks up bc it's going to come back in like 5 chapters from now" it's hard, especially when you start, but this is something you made, and now are actively making better and that's something to celebrate.
I hope this helps anon! I know it's a lot and I'm by no means an expert but I've been doing this for more than a decade because I love it and I want to help others get into writing to! I have no problem answering any writing questions you may have if you find this helpful!
tl;dr
-motivation is slightly different between short/long fics.
-starting out, learn to outline by scenes and focus on finishing small projects and getting to a point where you feel like you can put something down and come back and pick it up again in a week. Completion is key and will help you feel satisfied/know your limits.
-long projects also can work on the scene-to-scene outline but now with individual chapters and individual arcs. It's tough to balance both but comes with practice. Bit-by-bit is key, as is having 'one moment you can't wait to write', possibly a schedule if it works for you, and reader feedback are all huge long-term motivational points.
-editing is tough but learn to look forward to it instead of dreading it.
edited: added a bit more/few typos fixed
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cielcius · 4 years
Note
Okay okay but imagine. Not even an AU, it's legit us from the real world, THIS world, one day waking up in the MHA universe.
Somehow the reader already knows all their names, quirks, what they like or not like. And the rest is so sus of her like, she just woke up and she literally knows everything?? She gets her own dorm and everything since she needs a place to stay, and one day bakugou/todoroki/kirishima (oh, and uh if you wanna make this a scenario then just choose one, but if you're more comfortable with HCs, mind doing at least two of them? If three's too much, separate :0) finds out that she doesn't belong there in the first place. She tells them how in her world's eyes, all of this is just a show, the one that'll make everyone fall in love that is lmao. I feel like bakugou would demand to know who's the main character is, or who's gonna be the number one hero, and once you tell him that it's probably gonna be deku.. Ooh boy. But then he knows that millions upon millions of people loves him, and would probably preferred him over Deku (at least i do) and then he just calms down lmao,
LANDING IN THE BNHA UNIVERSE | HEADCANONS
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includes: bakugou k., kirishima e., & todoroki s.
from the writer: Hello love! I guess great minds think alike bc I was previously working on another fanfiction on wattpad before starting my blog which had this same idea. Have a lovely day/evening and thank u for requesting! Hope u enjoy!
notes & warnings: cursing, reader has a weather quirk, angst but you gotta get those expensive microscopes to see (todoroki)
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“So you’re saying that all of this is just a show?” You purse your lips and nod. Mr. Aizawa sighs tiredly for the umpteenth time in his life. “I knew it. My whole life is a joke.” Feelings of panic start to flare up inside of you as you open your mouth to say something until Present Mic interrupts you. “Don’t worry about him. He’s fine. But now that, that’s sorted out, you need a place to stay don’t you?” Present Mic asked and you nod timidly.
“Alright so it’s settled. You’ll stay with Class 1-A!” Mr. Aizawa seemed to grow even gloomier which made the guilt in your stomach grow exponentially. As a teacher and a pro-hero, Mr. Aizawa already had enough on his plate. You doubted that he enjoyed having another student added into the mix. “Alright L/n. I’ll show you your dorm then.”
Even with Mr. Aizawa’s seemingly irritated aura, he didn’t mind having you added to the class. Maybe you’d be a better influence on his current problem-children and talk them out of causing trouble. You followed Mr. Aizawa out of the teacher’s office and stopped at the field. “Before we head to the dorms, I want to test out whether you’ve received a quirk or not.” He explained and you nodded.
“Even if I do have a quirk, I’m not sure how I would activate it.” You voice your concern and Mr. Aizawa only reassures you with the fact that it will come naturally. You were hesitant but eventually, you found out that your quirk was one that was able to control the weather. Mr. Aizawa had you continue to test out your range until someone walked by.....
Bakugou:
who was this person Mr. Aizawa was watching and why are they so fucking powerful?
that was Bakugou’s first thought of you until he scoffed to himself
you were probably just another extra looking for an open spot in the hero course
he brushed it off and went back to the dorms only to see the same person he saw out in the field, cooking in the dorm’s kitchen
he figured that you had just been admitted into the hero course and decided to ignore you
“oh hi Bakugou. how was your day?”
who the fuck—
“who the hell are you and how the fuck do you know my name?!”
probably wasn’t the best way to greet your anime crush but too late
highkey sus about you since you somehow already knew everything about everyone
but.....
‘what is this fuzzy feeling that’s making my heart go doki doki?’
that's what we call a ✨crush✨ my Bakubaby
ya’ll were like two to three months in when he found out you actually weren’t from their world
*insert surprised Pikachu face*
its only because he was eavesdropping on you and Aizawa smh
“wait, so this is all a show?”
“yup”
“who's the main character? who’s the number one hero?”
“Deku”
“DEKUUUUUUUU!”
he calmed right down after you told him he had the biggest fan base though
smh this boy’s ego is bigger than his need for anger management istg
Kirishima:
omg they’re so pretty and powerful?
bby was fascinated with you from the start when he saw you popping’ OFF on that field
like YAZ idk who you is but you is beautiful *mwah mwah*
he was your first friend
but he was lowkey kinda questioning how you knew everyone’s names and quirks before they managed to introduce themselves
“oh, hi Kirishima”
“hi I’m Kiri-- wait what?”
you and your anime crush got close pretty quickly and soon enough, you were dating
“I’m sorry Eiji but I can't hide it anymore, you’re just too baby”
brother was so confused but he went along and you told him everything
“wait, so like, I have fans already?!”
just imagine his baby shark teeth as he smiled though🥺
“yes Eiji you have a lot of fans”
“It’s okay, I only need you :)”
<3
Todoroki:
brother straight up just walked right past the field where you were smh
but when he saw Midoriya talking to you at the dorms, he was officially intrigued
even if he was kinda wondering who you were, he isn’t exactly one to approach others easily
so naturally, you came to him
“hi Todoroki!”
he said brb gotta get muh shades
looking at you was like looking at the sun
“hello”
“I’m L/n”
“oh”
“.....”
“.....”
not very good at holding conversations I see :/
over time he opened up
omg when he confessed to you, he asked the nearest person what to do
and who was it?
mf Bakugou
“idk watch some of those romance movies or some shit. why are you even asking me? we’re not friends”
they’re friends
best friends
but uh let’s just say Todo had the right motivation, just not exactly the right direction
he made an ice sculpture of you
he gave you a letter in front of the school, red cheeks and everything
but he only managed to find out you didn’t belong there when he heard you crying to yourself
“I miss the real world. I miss my family”
real world?
you had to tell him before he told anyone else
but he’d actually be curious about your world
wonders if he’d be happier growing up in that world
but right now, he's extremely content with you :)
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kittybellestark · 3 years
Note
Hi ! I don't know if this is where you send requests, but maybe a fic where peter gets all jealous of Morgan and Harley, and its fathers day, but he feels like he shouldn't be there and stays in the room the Stark's have for him- (Tony lives) OH! and maybe Mays dead idk whatever ya want thank you ! <3 Oh! and can I be on the taglist?
hi milove sorry for taking literal months to do your request i recognize you requesting this on nov 18th and it is now February so i hope this is smth that was worth the wait !! 
So I played with the timelines a lil bit bc i suck and i also just kinda took this to a place i don’t think you were asking me to do whoops, it’s not just some cute sibling jealously
also not very irondad based, like sprinkle amounts. also no comfort. my bad 
Post-endgame, Tony lives, Harley & Peter are the same age, Peter got snapped Harley didn’t 
TW: Grief, implication of suicide(minor character), suicidal thoughts,  
-
There wasn’t many things Peter liked. He remembers liking a lot of things, life, school, home, himself. But that was years ago, and yet it was only a few months for Peter. The world was different now, older.
Those who survived held grief in their eyes, they moved slow and while they have grown since the loss of their world, they also had survived the return. They mourned and grew older, making new family and friends. But some who survived couldn’t hold the weight of their loss, and in the 5 years their family was gone, they went to be with them.
The returned came back, and lived in denial. Their eyes were empty, and every movement was carefully thought through. They were left behind, monuments in their place. Those who returned saw how the survived struggled to cope, and in turn they struggled as well. There was no place for them anymore. Especially when they didn’t have a family to go to.
Like Peter.
Peter returned to the world five years later to find May was gone. She was one of those who survived the initial snap, only to not be able to carry the grief. He hated that he came back to life and had no home, no family. Peter was alone.
Tony was nice enough to offer Peter a place to live with his own family. But they couldn’t relate to him, they didn’t know what it felt like to be left behind like this, to be dropped in the future and expected to be okay. Tony had a family now. A child born in an empty world, and another kid, Harley. He was barely a teenager before the snap and now he was 17, just as old as Peter.
He couldn’t help but hate living with them. Harley’s family had returned, but he wasn’t going home. Morgan was a child who was scared by Peter. Tony and Pepper sometimes forgot Peter was there, after spending so long without him they would act as if they’ve seen a ghost when Peter rounds the corner and into whatever room they’re occupying.
Peter missed May. He wished that he could still be in Queens, living in their apartment. Peter missed Ben and he missed the idea of his parents. He should have never returned. There’s no room for him in this world.
He hated how Harley took advantage of their situation. He hated that Harley had a family, a mother and a sister who returned and are alone and he didn’t go back to them. His family returned to him and yet he’s here with Tony. And he hated how Morgan took her family- her full, completed family for granted.
If Peter’s family came back to life there wouldn’t be anything stopping him from being with them. He would cherish every single nano-second if they were alive again.
And yet they all expected Peter to be okay. Adapted. Used to the future like he didn’t just blink and find himself lost and alone. He brings up that he misses May and someone frowns and tells him how long ago she died. How was that supposed to help him? No one even brought him to the cemetery. How is Peter meant to move on from a life that was stolen from him?
It’s not like any of them were okay. Tony and Pepper and Harley all crumbled as whenever there was a reminder of everything that they lost. Peter, unfortunately happened to be one of those reminders.
Tony and Pepper tried their best. They involved Peter in family bonding time and they tried their best not to flinch when Peter is unexpectedly there. Because they survived, they didn’t understand and talking to them led to dead ends.
He tried communicating with them. Cried over May’s death, had been confused about these new things that are actually years old. For them it was so long ago, a literal lifetime ago, so they never really saw the point in talking about these things. It wasn’t that they thought Peter would figure this out, they just assumed he already knew.
Talking to Harley didn’t really work that well either. He didn’t want to talk about the things Peter missed out on and when asked about his family he would shrug and say that he’s moved on.
And, well, Morgan was a kid. She was born in an empty world, told stories of people that she never should have met and now faced with the world doubling and not understanding any of it. Peter Parker was just a character is bedtime stories and now he’s a ghost who wants her home. She used to cry whenever Peter is around and still tries to hide behind people’s legs. 
God, he hated being this kid. Never wanted to be the one who envied others. Before- when it was still just May and Peter, he didn’t feel this gnawing inside him, while they didn’t have much Peter still had someone who fit all the rolls he needed. He hated being jealous, he didn’t feel this when he used to look at anyone who had two living parents.
He shouldn’t be here. Not in this room, which came decorated with everything Peter had loved before he died- and not alive. He didn’t fit. Not into this family who struggles with the idea he’s alive and not on this planet where the world is still mourning the people who came back. 
“Are you coming downstairs?” Harley asked.
Peter can’t be here. He had no right.
“I have a taxi coming to get me.” 
That wasn’t a lie. Something he scheduled last night at some point, between the tears and holding his breath. Peter didn’t think anyone would be awake at this time, Sunday’s were always the day that everyone slept in and Peter could just be alone outside of his room.  Sometimes he would just sit in the living room and other times he’d wander around the property, often ending up by the lake. By the time everyone would start waking up Peter would be back in his room with some breakfast and try not to bother anyone. 
“Okay, well it’s fathers day, so I think they might be expecting your presence in some form. We have plans and all that.” 
Of course they do. They always make plans where Peter only finds out the day before or day of. Maybe Peter has plans. They could consider that. Okay, maybe Peter never really has any plans, nothing more than trying to understand this new world. And maybe he didn’t make the active effort to find where he fit in this home, but he is the child and it shouldn’t really be up to him. Harley probably didn’t have to engage with the adults first. Tony and Pepper more than likely got input from Harley on their plans. 
With a sigh Peter nodded. “I’ll cancel the taxi.”
“Cool! I’ll tell everyone you’ll be down soon.”
Harley made sure to give a big smile, before heading downstairs, a bounce in each step he took. Peter really hated Harley for his happiness. 
Taking a moment after canceling the taxi, Peter tried to pull himself together. He forced a smile and pulled his shoulders back. All that needs to be done is sit and nod, occasionally laugh. Pay no mind to the way Morgan looks at him in fear, and don’t see the look of mourning on Tony and Pepper’s face. He needs to not remember Harley’s family alone in Tennessee. 
He went down the stairs and followed the noise to the kitchen. There was laughter and the sounds of dishes clinking against one another. It smelt of pancakes and cinnamon and hash browns and coffee. Standing here Peter could close his eyes and pretend this was seven years in the past, with him and May and Ben. He could imagine Ben making the food and singing along to the radio with May dancing along as she sets the table. But this wasn’t 2016, this was 2023. Instead it was a finished family forced to bring him in, a harsh reminder that he doesn’t belong.
Peter stepped into the kitchen, Pepper was just finishing up breakfast and Harley was setting the table. Morgan was sitting on Tony’s lap whispering into her fathers ear. Food was laid out ready to be served, with orange juice, iced tea and coffee all in their own pitchers waiting to be poured. He moved through the room, trying to not to intrude before sitting down at the table. It didn’t take much longer for Pepper and Harley to sit down as well, Tony moving Morgan into her proper chair. 
Everyone around Peter fell into easy conversation while he stayed silent, trying to focus on his food instead of the way Morgan was starring daggers at him. They talked about their favourite family vacations and laughed at their own jokes. Peter couldn’t help but feel like he was actually sitting out on the porch. This family had five years together, five years of memories and laughter, of love and pain, and Peter wasn’t apart of any of it. He wasn’t a part of any family, his own buried and far too dead.
“Peter, what about you? Did you have any Father’s Day traditions?” 
Hearing Harley address Peter pulled him back to this world, and welcomed in his deep rooted desire to have his family back. Harley had two families now and he left one completely. Abandoned them when they came back to life. And Morgan was sitting here glaring at Peter completely oblivious to the fact that she has her entire family and how privileged she was for it.
“Well I don’t have any memories of my parents, so I don’t think there were any traditions with them. The only people I could ask about that are now dead. Unless you consider going to the cemetery to go visit your dead father you can’t remember a father’s day tradition, then no.”
The entire table stopped eating, all sounds coming to a complete end. Everyone stayed still as if Peter was some volatile bomb that would explode if anyone nearby breathed too hard. He could feel his jaw clench, as he tried to breathe in and out. It wasn’t working.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Should I not bring up my very dead family? Was that inappropriate to say that my father is dead I have no memories? My absolute bad! Next time I’ll consider how uncomfortable it makes everyone here. I mean jeez, Harley has a whole family in Tennessee he hasn’t seen since they reappeared. You’ve got two whole families to choose from, Harls! What an accomplishment. And Morgan, well she’s older than I was when my parents died, so she’s definitely on the right track. And wow, I got a whole second set of parents out of May and Ben. Which was great until I watched Ben die. Until I die and find out while my death was temporary, May’s wasn’t. Whenever I want to be with my family I have to go all the way back to Queens and visit the cemetery. But you all just live in the same house. So genuinely, I’m sorry for not considering your emotions about my dead family.”
“Peter...” Tony whispered, reaching his one hand out to Peter.
Peter shook his head, pulling away, he didn’t want to see the empty eyes starring back at him. He didn’t want to acknowledge the way Tony looks at him with regret and how Pepper looks at him like he’s lost. He didn’t want to see how the three that lived through both snaps always held pain in their eyes. And Peter most certainly didn’t want to see Morgan, who had no idea how lucky she is, that she was born never knowing loss.
Peter didn’t want to see a family who was pulled together in a time of pain. He wanted to see his family. Peter wanted to look across the table and see Ben and May throwing little balls of napkins at each other. He wanted to be Harley and be able to go home and see his family whenever he wants. He wanted to be Morgan and do science experiments with his parents. Peter wanted the one thing he didn’t have, something that Harley and Morgan had an abundance of.
“I don’t have a family anymore. I never got to say goodbye to May. I would give up the rest of my life to see them again. And you guys just can’t understand that. You have you family. You get to see them whenever you want. I can’t ever see mine again. I can never go home. They’re gone.”
After all, Peter was just a ghost, another person who returned, who had been dead for too long. He didn’t belong in a world of survivors. Peter was just another person long gone who no longer fits into the world around him.
-
Taglist: Ask/DM to be added
@peter-is-a-bean @jean-and-diet-coke @dead-inside-pt2 @they-were-cloudsinmycoffee @parkersjiggle @7peternotparker7 @thatonecrackheadshipper @kevinthewoman @faline4you @lynxshinon @narutoyaoifan @pastelwheeler @thecrazymarvelfan @bonjour-gays @thebestqueenoftheworld
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.
ah yeah ty, good suggestions.
hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(
ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)
hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)
cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe
thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track
domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*
ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album
the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy
sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha
silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either
secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it
STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.
red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved
surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?
gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining
wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)
hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha
<3 w.a. 🐺
i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.
oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.
man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d
okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!
> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)
back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.
i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.
i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.
PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)
i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!
wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ
and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA
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acespec-ed · 3 years
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hi!! I was wondering if u could help me? I’m alloaro and I just discovered the term aromid… and it makes me question myself. I’m very unsure if I’m on the asexual spectrum or if I just experience sex repulsion sometimes? I’ve looked at so many acespec labels and cannot find one that actually fits me. literally I’ve seen them all. I haven’t really felt comfortable calling myself ace and I do enjoy saying I’m alloaro but I wonder if I’m actually on the ace spectrum as well… how do I differentiate between sex repulsion and asexuality? For one, I’m hypersexual and feel the need/pressure to be sexual or I’m not good enough… and I do want sex I think? I fantasize about it and I enjoy smut and some art .. but when I visually see nakedness or irl sex… it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t enjoy that. I enjoy the thoughts and fiction and when people are only partially clothed…. but I just have this feeling of repulsion and fear of actually doing it irl (what if I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable?) and when I think about it I do imagine myself and this other person but it’s also hard to actually see us and not just faceless non existing people… and idk how much of me wanting sex is just pressure from hypersexuality or me genuinely having sexual attraction … idk if I really have much of a libido or want for sex?? would I be able to call myself alloaro AND aromid.. as in I’m alloaro but possibly SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum?.. or maybe I’m just sex repulsed and fully not ace at all? I feel like my situation here makes me unable to call myself alloaro but I AM alloaro and I love being alloaro… I don’t wanna stop saying I am but it also feels like there’s more to it?
same anon from before! I read a post of yours about the umm “allos see ‘cake’ and immediately know they want to eat it” and it confuses me … idk what I experience? I see fictional characters and I can go “they look sexy I am attracted to them maybe if want to have sex with them?” I see people and ??? idk sometimes I get unwanted thoughts of having sex with friends when I don’t actually want to or find attractive…I can see people and think they’re sexy/attractive .. but idk if I’d think “yeah I’d have sex with them” I mean it depends bc I think someone can imagine having sex with someone and enjoy it and want it but would they actually wanna seriously have sex with that stranger without having any connection with them…? Sex is scary so I’d need to know and trust them maybe… be scared to show my body..but I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling myself demi? Idk I don’t get this .. do I look at someone and immediately think whether I’d want to have sex with them or not? I really don’t know … also.. so…. Libido is just wanting sex in general and sexual attraction is wanting specific people?… how do I differentiate all of this it’s so confusing! I guess MAYBE I do look at peopl and go “wow they’re pretty/sexy id want sex” BUT I DONT KNOW LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT… am I not allo WHATS going on here .. can you explain what it would be like to be sex repulsed AND allo instead of ace? and the difference between that and being ace and sex repulsed? thank u
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I’m so sorry I’m saying so much I just have no one to talk to :C … but um… someone told me “if you’re sex repulsed .. you’re still allo unless you feel like u don’t relate to being allo anymore” and I’m honestly so confused because…. do my weird feelings towards sex influence my sexuality? do I still feel connected to being allo? personally I feel like these feelings are ones allo people don’t typically have ..plus I’ve always felt bad for not being sexual enough or feeling the same sexual feelings as people/ (also why do I have sex repulsion I don’t think I rlly had much sexual trauma going on.. some little incidents but still??) and if I told allo people these feelings… they would not relate and would think I’m weird for it ..but an ace person might relate and would understand … I feel like it does influence how I see my sexuality/attraction and complicates things…however.. I feel like I can’t call myself acespec bc often I want sex (even with a specific person.. although they look different when I imagine them and also don’t exactly have a Look/face/body in my head..same with me) often and I’m hypersexual so I like over sexualizing myself …plus I like saying I’m alloaro and don’t want to let go of it… nor do I want to ID with a specific ace spec label.. I’d like to just say I’m ace (just like how I call myself aromantic even when I’m specifically gray romantic) why can’t I just be ace and not ace at the same time or in between I don’t know 😭…. what do allos experience how is their life like with sexual attraction and how is someone’s life like without sexual attraction … I don’t get it at alllllll
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I saw you sent three asks and decided to combine them all in this post to make answering this easier. Just reading these asks are making my head spin, so I can only imagine how confused you must feel. And it's fine that you're sending so many asks- I know what it's like to have no one to talk to about things.
I'll start this off by saying you can call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable calling yourself. And if it's alloaro, then of course you can keep calling yourself alloaro. You do sound like you could fit somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I couldn't tell you where.
A lot of what I'm about to say you might already know, since it sounds like you've been doing your own bit of research, but here I go.
Whether or not you desire sex on its own doesn't determine if you're asexual. If you've never felt any urges to have sex with anyone specific, then you haven't experienced sexual attraction. So it's helpful to remove your interest in sex itself, along with libido, when questioning. Focus it all on if you've wanted sex with anyone in particular. If the answer is no, or very rarely, it's likely you could be on the asexual spectrum. You mentioned you've experienced it towards someone specific, so it sounds to me like you'd be in the gray area, if on it at all.
I will say, it is totally normal to be nervous, and even scared, of having sex at first. A lot of allos are able to get over this fear- possibly because of sexual attraction. I first felt sexual attraction towards my boyfriend, and though I was repulsed, I wanted to do sexual things with him so bad I was able to get over the fear and disgust through slow exposure. So I think sexual attraction on its own is a huge motivator to "get over" sex repulsion and go for it.
Of course, you should never do anything you are not comfortable doing. And never force yourself into doing any sexual activities. A lot of aces have ended up with trauma over that sort of thing. The reason I went for it was because I naturally became comfortable with things escalating as time went on. Kinda like exposure therapy, I guess.
I'm not sure if you already saw it, but I did write this post on an experience I had where I was sex-repulsed by someone I was sexually attracted to. So it is possible to be sex-repulsed and sexually attracted to a person, but I understand how hard it can be to tell for sure.
I can't tell you what it's like to be allo. But other than the few times I've experienced sexual attraction, I lived my life with a libido directed towards no one, fluctuating between being sex-indifferent and repulsed, and occasionally getting a crush I had no sexual attraction towards. 
As for what it’s like being sex-repulsed and ace: I can’t imagine having sex with anyone. I just can’t. Every time I get a crush, I try to imagine sex with them, and my brain just shuts that off. It wants nothing to do with those thoughts. Sex-repulsed with sexual attraction: It’s only happened twice and the first time (with my bf) I had no idea wtf was going on and it was 10 years ago so I can’t remember enough to tell you aside from what I’ve already said. The other time though, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was sexual attraction at first- but my body became aroused at the sight of him, and the arousal went away when he left. But when I thought of sex with him, I was grossed out. But I kept forcing myself to think of sex with him, and grew more comfortable with the idea. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured, “hey, maybe I am sexually attracted to him.” 
Every person is different though.
I can totally understand your confusion because some of your experiences sound like you’re allo and some sound like you could be acespec. I honestly don’t know what else to say or what answers to give. I will say this though: I strongly doubt any allo has had to question their allosexuality as much as you are.
But circling back to what I first said: you can label yourself as whatever you feel most comfortable with. It’s okay if you don’t fit the exact definitions of an identity 100%. Every person is different, even those sharing the same label. And if you decide your experiences are just too complicated for a label, you don’t need one either. 
Sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it was somewhat helpful!
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ambitionsource · 3 years
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hi can we get some zaley friendship headcanons whenever you're free? ☺️
im not the best at headcanons just bc of the way my brain functions but im gonna do my best for you, sunny my friend. let’s go zay and riley let’s go!
thrift shop buddies!! one of the most common ways that they hang out is definitely going thrifting. considering they arguably have the two most eclectic wardrobes on the show, this makes sense. esp i fully believe they’re the perfect people to thrift shop with where they encourage each other to try on everything, even if it seems outlandish (and sometimes even more in those moments). that’s the only way to really get some good finds! and i feel like, beyond S1, when they wear items for performances in the show that are clearly unique / seem thrifted, it’s more than 50% likely the other helped them pick it out at some point
on this note, i think that they both have really good senses of what looks good on the other bc they spend this time together, probably better than anyone else (yes, including their significant others. not that that’s hard, since both of their significant others have notoriously bland fashion). like even when theyre not out together i can totally imagine them seeing something and being like “oh this is so riley / zay” and getting it for each other. they know each other’s sizes and have like an ongoing swap credit system gfJSKHJDLFH
riley and zay usually run performance by the other person before they perform them for the class / at an audition. like they find a specific time (usually during breakout sessions during class) to get in front of the other person and run them through their concept + do a run-through for them. they just really appreciate the other’s perspective, especially since they tend to complement each other -- zay is able to identify places where riley could heighten things or add some flair or just like... assert her talent more lmao, whereas riley helps zay pull back on some of his more overwhelming instincts when necessary or find the moments to truly lean in emotionally rather than blowing us out of the water the whole time
if we could actually Watch the show, i guarantee 9/10 times when riley or zay is performing, we would cut to the other enjoying the performance. like theyre always bobbing their head along and truly feelin the other’s performances. excellent vibes luv!
i also think they harmonize well with each other, which is why its kind of a shame they dont do more performances together within the context of assignments (as for why, couldn’t tell you... it might just be a weird psychological thing of like i have These people i perform with when it matters and these who are just for fun... like maybe zay and riley tend to see each other as easygoing comfortable duet partners and thats why they try not to overdo putting pressure on it). but yeah they absolutely have days where they just hang out in one of the rehearsal studios and play around on the piano and try to find ways to harmonize on their favorite songs. this is some of the best singing riley ever does, bc its so low stakes and fun
i also think that honestly, zay really helps strengthen riley’s vocals over the time they’re friends -- especially early on. riley is someone with good raw talent but she’s never thought about honing it seriously prior to joining aaa, whereas zay has been on a career mindset since he was little. so he is good at teaching her like small technique things or helping her expand her range and she really values that esp bc hes so selfless about giving it, but it doesnt come off naggy or unnecessary like maya’s advice often does
sometimes it can be hard for them to find songs they both wanna sing though bc their music taste is so different. i think they have like three small categories where their favorites overlap -- select big names (sza, chloe x halle), jazz / old-time crooners (frank sinatra, nina simone, and the like), and select musical theater. but i think this is mainly on zay, bc he’s much more picky about music than riley who will give anything a listen without much nudging. as we know zay likes to pick on his friends’ music taste (like charlie and harry styles / 1d) and i don’t think riley would escape this affectionate teasing. they exchange song recs and riley gives him like her usual piano ballad-y sara bareilles tswift rachael yamagata energy and shes like oh yes, another piano ballad and hes like STOP!!! JUST LISTEEEENNNN GFSJKLHJFDSKLHKDLFH
that said though, they’re definitely go-to friends when it comes to like checking out a new local artist or coffeeshop open mic nights. this is probably a typical zay / riley / yindra outing
zay doesn’t spend a ton of time watching tv bc “he has better things to do with his time,” but riley and zay are definitely the type to watch a show together. like not always Together, but they’ll try to keep up with each other so that they can talk about it (and riley has to try really hard not to keep binging and get way ahead of zay). theyre good at this bc they can have really intense and opinionated conversations about it but in a way where its like safe and neither of them feel like theyre actually being judged / are stupid if they disagree (something thats not common for riley, and zay usually is trying to discuss media with super strong personalities who aren’t great at Debating).
in general, though, they tend to agree on favorite characters / relationships. for example, they both hate rachel berry -- which always gets maya and farkle extremely heated if they’re around. i can only imagine why...
they’re also definitely safe-space vent people for each other. they don’t use the privilege all that often bc i think both of them try to like keep their cool and not get hung up about things, but if they really just have to pop off about something they know they can go to the other person and they’ll actually Listen and keep it under wraps rather than either spilling it to everyone else and/or immediately trying to problem solve rather than just listening to the Emotions. and it’s helpful bc for the most part, their friends don’t actually really overlap that much, so they don’t really like harbor the emotions the other person unloads on them or let it affect their dynamics with other people? like riley can talk about dasher and zay can talk about yingel without it having any ripple consequences bc theyre different circles.
for example, i can totally see riley talking to zay about how she feels like -- at first -- asher doesn’t really like her and won’t really let her in and like he doesn’t want her to join the friend group (even tho that isn’t really true). like she can’t talk to dylan about it bc she’s not going to put him in that position and she’s not foolish enough to think that’s a good idea, she can’t talk to lucas about it bc he like doesn’t get stuff like that gFJKHGLFJSDLH and also he has such a set impression of asher it would be hard for him to understand it from her perspective. zay has none of that, so hes a good person to listen to her nerves about it.
the only times this gets kind of complicated / janky is in the midst of zay x charlie stuff where riley is kind of unintentionally (or, sometimes, intentionally) in the middle. like, zay trusts her not to go telling charlie what he says about him, but he knows they’re good friends too, and its an awkward position to put her in. but still, i think when zay is really hurt or frustrated he’ll snap sometimes and just vent out all his anger about charlie to riley in one foul swoop, and she’ll just absorb it like a sponge without judgment and then not bring it up again. but you can also see little ways where this puts pressure on their friendship, like how when he was drunk in 304 zay expressed resentment towards the fact that riley also talks to charlie and sometimes he feels like she puts him first, even though that isn’t true. it’s just..... a very very complicated (and interesting, if emotional) situation with that trio.
that being said, when things are Good, i think that zay feels comfortable talking about his significant others (including charlie) with riley. he doesn’t really get too Detailed about anything personal or anything, but they definitely discussed charlie in s2 in the small window of time where riley knew and zc wasn’t actively imploding LMAO. on the flip side, riley doesn’t really talk to zay about her relationships, but only bc her relationship is lucas GJFSKLJHLKDJHFLDSH. like anyone else she’d be like okay sure this is fine but she knows zay finds lucas annoying 65% of the time and talking about him in a romantic context grosses him out so she respects that LMAOOOO. hysterical
in general, if they’re gonna hang out, they usually go to either a local coffee shop they like (like svorskis) or each other’s houses. its kind of a relief to have a person they can just take anywhere and have around their parents with no trouble at all, considering both of them are used to having a boyfriend who cant be seen in their house (for different reasons). and theyre comfortable enough that like i think when they hang out at their houses, they just spread out in the living area of both bc theyre not hiding anything, its like very lowkey and comfortable
that being said, riley doesnt spend much time in zay’s usual studio at school. most people don’t, its a place zay now likes to be alone (and it feels weird with someone else being there who isnt charlie)
as for how they come off to their families, the babineauxs love riley. jada has met her a couple of times and thinks she’s super sweet + zay could afford to learn a thing or two from her like how to chill the fuck out (cue zay going shut the fuck up). donna is excited that zay has another friend who isn’t batshit intense about stuff like maya / farkle, she figures yindra has the diva best friend role covered and zay needs more friends like nigel and riley to ground him. she’s right about this.
cory likes zay, but he also does have some prejudices from the teaching perspective about how zay doesn’t pay attention in class half the time and blows off his assignments -- but this isn’t partially because cory isn’t a great teacher and his assignments suck. so the feeling is mutual, tho zay gets along better with cory in a neutral, polite sense than say, asher and dylan, where it’s like guerilla psychological warfare. topanga has no opinion about zay bc riley doesn’t introduce her friends to her (wisely).
they’re still very common lunch buddies. essentially when riley isn’t eating with the techies (which is only when lucas is there usually) or bothering lucas in the booth once a week, she’s with zay (which usually also means nigel, yindra, and farkle, though not always)
ultimately, i think that when someone asks riley who her best friend is, her mind will always jump to zay first. not even because theyre necessarily the closest at any given time, but because he really was her first life raft at aaa and he extended that kindness to her in a moment where she was so used to being brushed aside, talked over, ridiculed -- and you don’t forget that. it stays with you. so when she thinks about her Best Friend, speed round answer, he will always come to mind first. i think she greatly admires his skillful balance of confidence and compassion, his sarcastic sense of humor, the way he gets so passionate about dance and music and how these elements come together, and his inarguable kindness that is at his core and so fundamental to everything he does (even when his more known reputation is a bit more barbed and witty).
on the flip side, i think riley came into zay’s life at the exact moment he needed it. we know he felt isolated in s1, and even though i think he thinks of nigel and yindra as his first-to-mind best friends, riley was a breath of fresh air who allowed him to be himself with someone who wasnt going to judge him on past decisions or impressions. just like he gave her the chance to define herself in his eyes with his extension of company on that first day, she does the same for him by not making assumptions about him and learning who he is on their terms. i think she’s also just a really great, measured system of support -- she’s not busting his balls or keeping him in check like yindra and nigel do (except when its really needed, like 304), but she isn’t as in awe / romanticized with him like charlie. i think he appreciates that he can go to her for an honest perspective, but she’ll take the care to deliver that honesty in a gentle way. it’s like, he’s tough enough to take a hit, but sometimes its nice to know you have someone who will be kind with you even then.
that’s what is at the core of their friendship overall. kindness.
-- Maggie
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lochroma · 4 years
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*slams fists on the table* YO. that ask meme has so many good questions for ships... You know what I'm about to ask, man. Please do da ikemarthz! ✌️😎✨
IM SORRY IM LATE BUT YOU GOT IT 💖💖
when I started shipping it if I did: somewhere around 13-14. gonna be honest, i'm pretty sure fan art is what got me into the concept, and then my own thoughts took me into like. no return area, lmao. that's when i found out i was really interested in character concepts, storytelling, and apparently romance?? so this pairing was a first attempt at many things, which makes it the fondest to me.
my thoughts: they are GOOD they are WHOLESOME they are!!!!!! GAY!!!!!! something abt ike and marth, whether together or apart, just makes me so happy. immediate serotonin. both characters are a comfort for me so putting them together is just. immediate softness.
What makes me happy about them: okay if i had to pick one part to talk about, it'd be that they're similar enough in ideals and troubles that they'd have a lot of things to bond over (like their sisters, sword training, troubles of war) while at the same time keeping enough difference in personality and lifestyle that its a completely new experience. refreshing!! also leaves much to the imagination. i just really love how the differences between them are more endearing than anything else, okay?
What makes me sad about them: that it ain't ever gonna be canon ✊😔. okay really tho, that (like most crackships) there's nearly no actual "canon" (read: not fanmade) content where they're interacting. outside of smash bros brawl, that is. every day i am thankful for sse, like SERIOUSLY.
things I look for in fanfic: honest to god?? just anything portraying a nice, loving relationship. you wouldn't believe how hard that is to find.
things done in fanfic that annoys me: LITERALLY SO. MUCH. between the constant objectification of marth, the general fetishisation of gay relationships, or the drastic mischaracterization of one or both characters, there's virtually no good written content out there. and that's not even setting foot into the Weird things i've seen.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: ike/ranulf and marth/caeda or marth/kris. really, [insert one of many marth ships here].
My happily ever after for them: finding peace and comfort with each other!! also bc i'm a complete sap for domestic fluff, perhaps smth along those lines. is that why i created a fan kid? maybe so.....................
who is the big spoon/little spoon: they alternate!! marth is a very holdable man, but he also loves to hold his large bf. ike deserves to be the little spoon sometimes, yknow??
what is their favorite non-sexual activity: sleeping... there's nothing more comfortable than taking a nap with your s/o.
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pcssessicn · 4 years
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☆ . · . miguel bernardeau, twenty-one, male, he / him . · . ☆ fitzwilliam 'fitz' phénix-alvarez lives in that huge mansion over there! no, not that one. look for white stucco walls & terracotta shingles and that’ll be it. the nhl defenseman has offered occasional glimpses of soft yellow walls and an impressive collection of plants in the background of social media posts, but all of that is nothing compared to seeing the opulence in person. they’ve remained protective as ever since moving to tercet court two months ago, but it seems like they might’ve gotten a little more mistrustful too. maybe that’s why they’re rumored to have such a distant relationship with everyone else who lives on this street. ☆ . · . ooc info: ollie, they / them, 21, est . · . ☆ career claim: cale ma/kar.
BASICS
Full name: Fitzwilliam Phénix-Alvarez Nickname: Fitz Birth date: September 29th Languages: English, Spanish, Quebecois Francois Hometown: 
PHYSICAL
Age: 21 Weight: 196 lbs Height: 6′2″ Body build: athletic, lean Eye color: grey-blue Faceclaim: Miguel Bernardeau Glasses or contacts: neither 
Tattoos: a raven in flight over his left shoulder blade, monochromatic vines winding up his left bicep
Scars: most predominantly a thin scar near the base of his neck where a skate slashed him when he was fourteen ; several other smaller scars of less note, especially on his hands --- much less noticeable
PERSONALITY
Good personality traits: observant, calculating, protective Bad personality traits: mistrustful, dishonest, aggressive 
Fitz comes across as very confident and in control, and at ease in his skin. The truth couldn’t be farther from it. He works hard to put forward the easy front he does --- and some days he can’t tell which one is more real. He has a dishonest smile that masquerades as honest, and a tendency to manipulate those around him when necessary to shed suspicion off himself. He can be almost charming at times, at least extremely amiable. Despite all this, Fitz is not rash or impulsive -- in fact everything he does is carefully calculated, though he goes to great lengths so it does not come across as so. The one place he feels truly effortless is on the ice.
He finds it hard to truly allow people close to him and to really see beyond the most superficial layers of himself. Furthermore, there is a deep-seated fear of not being enough and being forgotten ; he finds it easier to not let anyone close so there’s less chance of this happening.
THE STORY ( i rly was gunna try to write this nice and eloquently but... u get this instead 😔 )
— fitz was born to up and coming spanish actress reyna alvarez in chicago. the result of a messy one-night stand, but reyna ultimately decided to keep the baby. he is indeed named after fitzwilliam darcy from pride and prejudice bc his mother’s first breakout role was in a film adaptation of the book and she loved the book after reading it. how unfortunate for him.
— his birth father was never in the picture, but the man he would come to know as his father came into the picture a year or so after his birth. already one of the top architects in north america, paul robert phenix was in chicago for a conference and he and reyna fell in love. fitz has been told it’s was all very romantic. so then the happy family moved to pittsburgh where his father’s architecture firm was based.
— despite growing up with two parents who raked in a fair amount of cash, they made sure nothing was just given to fitz. they’d both had their humble beginnings and big believers in tough love, they made sure not to spoil their son. they did however make sure he was sheltered from the media when it poked around and the two things they did pay for without question were his education and sports.
— he started playing hockey when he was six after seeing a pens game on tv while they were out at dinner and knowing he just had to do it --- and never stopped. he got recruited to the us national team development program when he was sixteen and spent his last two years of high school in michigan living with a billet family most do who are with the program, which gave him a huge sense of “normalcy.” but really he was far from normal, his development taking great steps over those two years leading up to his draft year.
— queue the cale ma/kar career claim lads aka all the hockey development & logistics u can probably skip if u don’t care laksdjf: 
 one year before graduation and a draft, he vocally committed to playing at university of massachusetts - amherst. he went fourth overall to the la kings in the 2017 draft ( yeah technically irl that pick belonged to the avs but sh ), and proceeded to remain loyal to his commitment and play two years at umass despite his new top five prospect status. he was put into a first pair role from the start of his freshman year ( 2017-18 ), was a huge part in bringing the umass team up from the bottom of the standings. he plays for team usa in world juniors 2017 and 2018.
his sophomore year ( 2018-19 ), they make it all the way to the frozen four. fitz gets announced as the hobey baker winner and the day after they get knocked out of the tournament. not long after that he signs his entry contract with the kings and finishes out the season with them. he scores his first nhl goal on his first shot in game 3 of the first round of playoffs irl the kings don’t make playoffs but again shh. they get knocked out in the first round and fitz goes home and trains harder than ever.
he come back to kings training camp the next season ( 2019-20 ) more determined than ever to make the team. he does so out of camp and has an incredible rookie campaign. he gets injured in december and misses a few games but is back mid-january. fitz is given the calder ( award that goes to the best rookie in the nhl ) at the end of the season. technically cale hasn’t won this yet but we all know he will.
— la is a bustling city and fitz is a fan of one night stands : he just doesn’t feel like he has time for a relationship and hookups scratch that itch. he’s not an asshole about it, really. there is typically that understanding that this is a one time, no strings attached thing. but this one girl he sleeps with in march obviously does not get this memo and continues to not get the memo. she starts seriously stalking him in the following months and eventually he gets a restraining order against her ( use ur imagination kids ). he’s not really comfortable staying in his own apartment downtown for the time being though after he still sees her around. he stays with a teammate until the season ends, which then brings us to his connection to tercet court.
— paul robert phenix, now world reknowned architect, had a hand in designing several of the homes on tercet court, including one in the style of old money spanish mediterrianian villas that he designed with his wife in mind to be their new home. fitz’s mother had loved the house and moved in for a few years after the court opened but with her taking fewer roles up in the movie industry and getting exceedingly more lonely, she decided to embrace the more nomadic livestyle of her husband and moved out about a year and a half ago. since then the home stood vacant ( though certainly still cared for by several paid landscapers and maids ) until fitz’s dilemma arose a few months ago.
— a few phone calls and a begrudging agreement to pay the extremely steep taxes on the place for the year ( again, tough love and fitz may be a pro-athlete but he’s still making less than a million a year with his entry level contract ), and fitz moved in about two months ago ( say mid-may ).
MISC
— tri-lingual. father is french-canadian and his mother is spanish. needless to say he grew up a little confused. that worked itself out soon enough though. uses he uses quebois french in-season kind of frequently to talk to a couple teammates. really only uses his spanish to talk to his mother and family.
— since moving in fitz has filled the mansion with plants. he absolutely does not seem like a plant guy but he is... absolutely loves it. his major at umass was kinesology bc he thought it would be the most helpful and knew he wasn’t going to graduate but he snuck in some out-of-major classes on horticulture. truly just likes plants a lot. they don’t judge him.
— probably set up his own puck shooting pad in the backyard. why not there’s enough space. he had to retrieve a couple pucks from the bottom of the pool though which has been good incentive to not miss the net lmao. he also has revamped one of the rooms in the house to have synthetic ice.
— runs in the morning before it gets hot. skates a few days of the week in the afternoon. home gym in the house is definitely a perk but he prefers to work out with others because it feels more productive.
— probably drives like. a range rover.
— offensive defenseman. likes to jump up in the rush and is good at break out passes as well as zone entry. earned his place quarterbacking the first powerplay towards the end of the season. he can be quite physical when he needs to be though and don’t ever go after his goalie. ( his nhl.com player page )
— he’s not a recluse by any means, but he has no desire to built connections in tercet court so probably hasn’t actively reached out. they’re likely to have met outside of the small community or if your character forcibly came and introduced themselves. or if they knew each other already mayhaps??
— oh and he’s bi. like really really bi. obv not advertised given his career path but he’s not having some crisis over it either. it just is. probably has a stack of nda’s next to the condoms ready to go at anytime alsdkfj.
OOC
hey lads. i’m ollie !! for those around for round 1.0 of this rp i played alya ( the sports photog ). i am back and this time going back to what i do best : playing hockey boys 😔😔😔.
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Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)
i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........
Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.
Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.
Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.
Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????
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diveronarpg · 5 years
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Congratulations, LINA! You’ve been accepted for the role of TROILUS with an FC change to Henry Golding. Admin Rosey: I am absolutely HOWLING. So, when I was writing Troilus, I was having an amazing time -- he’s so nuanced and seemingly superficial, but there are so many detailed facets that contribute to his happy-go-lucky attitude. He’s so utterly disarming and charming that, from the interview alone, I couldn’t help but swoon over him. Your development for him promises so much, from the sought-after revelation of Celeste’s infidelity to turning him into a hollow and hungry creature. I’m absolutely over the moon to be putting my precious boy into your hands, Lina. By all means, ruin us all. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.
WELCOME TO THE MOB.
Out of Character
Alias | Lina. Age | 26 Preferred Pronouns | She/her Activity Level | 5 – Med school honestly wipes the floor with me most days, so I can’t promise daily activity but as I’ve said before, I promise consistency and communication. I’ll request a hiatus if needed, and I won’t disappear or drop-out without warning.   Timezone | Finally back in EST (UTC-5:00) Current/Past RP Accounts | —
In Character
Character | Tomas Sabello -> Could I request an FC switch to ether Henry Golding or Godfrey Gao? I love Bob Morley to pieces but I’ve used him as an FC for long enough that I really struggle to dissociate him from the role I played. I think Henry fits Tomas’ gentle disposition best, but Godfrey has more versatility in terms of acting roles/expression which seems more in line with the mood in Verona and what he may eventually become… I dunno! I’ll leave it to you guys to choose the preferred alternate FC in the event that I do get accepted. I’d be happy working with either one.
What drew you to this character? | I really liked how opposite he is to Viv, honestly. He’s so enamored with emotion, and despite the fact that he’s an actor by trade, he’s an open book when it comes to anything that inspires feeling within him. I think Tomas loves the idea of love to such an extreme that there’s no thought to guarding himself from it. No amount of pride could keep him from offering his heart up, not even the threat of rejection. He takes and he takes, but he also gives to the people around him, indiscriminately; even to the most insignificant of passersby who’ve touched his life or inspired his creativity in some brief, ephemeral way. While Viv absorbs and safeguards whatever light she finds, Tomas reflects it freely back into the universe, and I really like that dichotomy.
What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?
*∆* - Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s oblivion: I’ll keep this point short and sweet; I want Tomas to find out about Celeste’s infidelity and for his heart to get absolutely shattered in the process. It could be sooner, later or whenever, but I think we’re all holding our breaths for that to happen in the story, and I’d love the opportunity to portray that.
*∆* - To fight one’s nature is a losing battle: This is a plot contingent on the arc of his relationship with Celeste and details pertaining to their marriage (how long it takes for him to find out she’s cheating on him, what they do with that information, if they divorce, etc.). But essentially, I’d like to show Tomas’ struggle with his own fidelity because in his bio, he strikes me as the sort of character that doesn’t settle on one lover easily. And he loves Celeste with every inch of his being and right now that’s what’s keeping him faithful, but I think that even if her infidelity isn’t revealed, eventually Tomas will start to feel the strain. He’ll notice the little signs along the way that hint that she doesn’t quite love him the way he loves her. I think those would put cracks in the marriage even if Isabella wasn’t in the picture. I’d like to explore those, and how little micro-tensions crop up in chronic relationships when one partner feels like they’re pulling all the weight. I want to dig into that and cast the lens on a quietly troubled relationship, and I want to see how far it pushes Tomas in response. Does he grow colder?  Does he seek intimacy elsewhere? Does he fall into the same temptation and cheat on Celeste, whether physically or emotionally? Let’s find out!
*∆* - Any way the wind blows: I’ve always imagined Tomas to be the unsettled sort, in all senses of the word. His loves have always been transient and fleeting, his decisions (both in leaving Rome and marrying Celeste) seem rash and impulsive… I think capriciousness is a trait of his that extends to all facets of his life. So one headcanon I have for him is that now that he’s on sabbatical from acting, he’d want to try his hand at something new. Activities or careers that he gets excited by every few weeks and actively chases until something changes and then he drops the ball and moves on, certain he’ll find his luck elsewhere. I think it’d be interesting to see him get into all sorts of mix-ups while catering to this instinct, and maybe unintentionally making himself a nuisance to other characters in their line of work in the rp. Just this over-excited dude picking up positions and then dropping them as if life’s his own picnic… It’s definitely going to rub some people the wrong way and I’m here to see it happen!
*∆* - The hardest of hearts:  … I’m intrigued by Tomas’ deep resentment of Roman Montague. His bio implies that it’s his acting experience which primes him to look at Romeo as if he’s also an actor, playing a part he doesn’t deserve. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think canonically, even, Tomas’ character seems to have a lot in common with Romeo from Shakespeare’s original, or at least, the earliest version of Romeo that we see. Lovelorn and lackadaisical, an innate predisposition for goodness, and yet undoubtedly leaving lovers a little carelessly in his pursuit of love, etc. So the way I see it, beyond his judgment of Roman as being unfit to rule, I think Tomas doesn’t like him bc he sees in Roman all of the same flaws he recognizes subconsciously in himself. It’s always easier to see our flaws through a mirror. I’m interested in seeing how far Tomas would go to spite Roman in order to avoid having to confront himself. The fact that Celeste is still tied to the Montagues would also be a continuous dilemma for Tomas, who dislikes both mobs. Depending on what plots come up, I might even entertain the thought of getting Tomas tied up in Capulet business, with the singular goal of bringing down Roman Montague.
*∆* - … Destroys itself in the end: In his bio, it’s alluded that Tomas took from both his parents when it came to his nature. He loved as frequently and as persistently as his mother, but destroyed those in his wake as surely as his father; leaving his path littered with broken hearts. I want to see that side of Tomas again. Except this time, instead of it being an accident of youth and of too much ignorance, I want it to be intentional. I feel like heart-break would leave him hollow and hungry, and I want to experience that side of him. I think his capacity for hurt is almost equally potent to his capacity for love, and that’s what makes him such a compelling character in my eyes.
Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Through a well-developed plot, yes.
In Depth
These interview chairs are always so stiff that Tomas has to wonder whether it’s intentional. Maybe it’s to keep him from falling asleep, but he’d never do that. He likes giving interviews for the most part. Of course, it was easier in his early twenties; when he had very little in the ways of a filter but was blessed with the circumstances in life that permitted him to get away with it. Oh, and an adoring audience. That always helped of course. These days, as a married man in a new city, he has to be more careful with his tongue.
That doesn’t make him any more careful with his smiles, however. And right now he’s aiming one of his most brilliant at the interviewer who’s already started asking him questions. They’re three minutes in, but she hasn’t returned any of his good cheer so far, and that’s uncommon. He’s remembered all his pleasantries, he’s been considerate enough in opening doors and waiting to be seated - but still, nary a smile. He doesn’t mind too much, but it makes his job so much more enjoyable when they do. And as a result, Isabella Gagliano is both a damper and a challenge. But before Tomas can engage her into lowering her defenses, she’s presented him with the next in a series of fan-chosen questions.
“What is your favorite place in Verona?”
”The Two Gentlemen. Certainly the best bottle of pinot grigio that I’ve ever had.” Tomas tells her, lips pressing together as sweetly as the juice from those sticky wine grapes. “You wouldn’t be remiss either if you tried the risotto al tastasal. That’s a real recommendation, you know?” He stage-whispers with a grin, “Off-the record.” But if Isabella takes note, he can’t tell.
The truth is, it’s a lie. A white lie, he consoles himself, because sometimes, the truth is too heavy a price to pay. The truth is that his favourite place in all of Verona is the recently abandoned Multisala Rivoli. It’s a cliche, he knows, an actor finding his second-home inside of a rundown movie-theatre. But it isn’t for the movies that he goes, nor out of any misplaced vainglory. Rather, it’s the promise of nondescript privacy that draws him like a bee to to honey. There, he can meet his new friends beyond the prying eyes of the media. There, he has a clandestine spot to escape the humdrum of the city for a few hours, alone with his thoughts. But it’s not a truth he’s ready to share, and moreover, the Montagues will like this answer better. It’s a nod to their territory; a little more promotion for their best-boasted restaurant. He refuses to join them, he refuses to share in their cause, but maybe sliding in such harmless tips will convince them to lay off of Celeste’s case and stop pressuring her to pressure him to join. Truth and politics don’t mix. Every time a video begins recording, Tomas is well aware of that. But above all, an actor must always remember his part.
“What does your typical day look like?”
“What, like a twenty-four hour play-by-play?” He asks playfully. “No one’s that interesting,signorina, I promise. I remember I was asked a similar question in an interview two or three years ago. I think it was for Sorrisi e Canzoni? Or maybe GQ…. Either way, it was a much more exciting answer back then. Plays, parties, private jets… ” Tomas reminisces fondly, but not fond enough to want to trade it in for his present. “I hate to disappoint, but it’s not the same anymore. I’m a married man on sabbatical now, remember??” He says, directing the question towards the camera before letting his gaze find Isabella once more. His life is quieter now, but happier too. “Not that it’s boring by any stretch. I’d recommend marriage, actually. I know it’s done wonders for me! But if I start talking about her and all the ways she’s changed my routine everyone will be rolling their eyes and complaining about cavities before this interview’s over.” Tomas chuckles, thinking of the myriad of ways his daily life has become synonymous with Celeste. What time she wakes, what time she leaves, when she comes home or when he gets to persuade her out of the house on little dates… He has a life outside of Celeste to be sure, but it’s only around her that he’s really reminded of what he’s working towards. Like Eros and Psyche, he thinks. He loves, but she sets fire to his love and gives it true sustenance. A future, a family, a very happy ending - That’s all he wants these days.
“What has been your biggest mistake thus far?”
He laughs at that, taken aback by the girl’s directness. “Is that really what it says on your sheet??” He cocks a brow, leaning forward as if to sneak a peek. “Damn… That’s harsh.” Sometimes, his fans seem like tiny mosquitoes; hungry for every teeny-tiny drop of his blood as they submit questions as invasive as these. “I have to think about that one…” Tomas admits with a bemused shake of his head. “I try not to think of my experiences as mistakes. Even the ones that might feel like it initially. Everything happens for a reason, doesn’t it? Don’t you believe that?” He looks to his interviewer as though hoping to coax another answer out of her, but she doesn’t indulge him. He’s always preferred dialogue to monologue, despite his choice of career. It takes an exchange of ideas to see the world through new lenses, and he can’t do that while talking continuously about himself. But another pensive, stolen glance at Isabella tells him that she probably won’t care what his answer is, so long as he gives one. He could make it up right here on the spot - something like ‘I’ve started a third gang in Verona to spite the Mobs‘ or ‘I kicked a dog once’, and she probably wouldn’t bat an eyelash. He wonders why. He wonders why she’s so determinedly expressionless.
“Do you play Poker?” Tomas asks without warning. He hadn’t meant for that to come out of his mouth but somehow it does and it takes another laugh and a wave of his hand to dismiss it. “Sorry. But you could! It’s impressive actually - in a good way. To answer your question, I think I’ll have to keep this one to myself.” It’s apologetic but firm, because his biggest mistake is failing his parents. Of all the roles he’s played thus far, that of ‘son’ has always left him most wanting. He couldn’t fix their marriage. He couldn’t inspire their divorce… To this day, his adulterous mother and destructive, ill-tempered father remain tethered to each other. Two rusting anchors, weighing themselves down to the bottom of the sea-bed… Most days, Tomas tries hard not to think about it. But there are some moments, moments when he’s feeling low, that he wonders if he’s responsible for their unhappiness; wonders if he couldn’t have done more to help them find happiness, along the way. Today is one of the predetermined no-thinkdays though. The days he’s giving interviews always are. “Sorry about that… Got anything else on your nifty list?” He prompts her, hoping to move on to a happier topic.
“What has been the most difficult task asked of you?”
This question too, gives him pause. More than he’d like. There’s the shadow of fleeting suspicion as he steals a glance at Isabella, wondering if they’re posing these questions on purpose to throw him off. But what cause would a reporter have to do that? You’re being silly,he chides himself, mulling over the question. Again, he knows the real answer.
Commitment.
It isn’t easy to choose a single person in this life, Tomas thinks. To narrow his expansive romantic inclinations and promise them to one individual and one individual only. But it’s a choice he reminds himself of every morning when he wakes up, when he cracks an eye open only for his gaze to fall on the familiar comfort of Celeste’s blazing red hair, like a halo around her cherubic face. It’s a choice he must remember when he’s comparing paintings with Juliana and hears the clear-bell tone of her laughter echo in the museum. A choice he must remember when his fingers find the soft, unwritten skin beneath Santino’s wrist as they look for stars in a midnight sky. A choice he recalls even as he listens to Paola recount the tales he’s missed in her life; eyes dancing with ferocious passion and he thinks what if, what if…
… But it’s a struggle he dares not reveal. It would insult his beloved wife, it would make a mockery of the vows they took in front of that altar, all those months ago. Worse still, it would surely garner derision from the audience, especially from his most die-hard fans; some of who still count on the failure of his marriage in order to regain the bachelor fantasy they’d attached to their idol. But idols were effigies of gold and silver. He was not an idol, he was a man of flesh and blood and feeling. Do you understand?… You will never understand me like she has, he wants to rebuke them. But there’s an old fondness that he can’t help when it comes to those who loved him first. And so his countenance softens as he answers the reporter’s question. “The most difficult task for me, has been leaving behind all my loved ones in Rome. My friends, my family, my fans…” He presses his fingertips to his lips for a moment before waving them towards the camera, sending the kiss to those who’ll hope for it most, when the interview airs tomorrow night. “I send my love, and I’m humbled by your continued support.”
“What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?”
“It’s-… It’s insanity.“
Now the Montagues won’t like that. But he feels the answer so strongly, and with so much conviction that he thinks the glassy brightness in his eyes would betray him anyway. Some lies are too big to swallow, even for an actor. “Brutal and unnecessary - do they even remember what they’re fighting for?” He asks Isabella, though he thinks she’s probably no closer to answering that than the other Veronesi. “You know, the stories say that it’s been so many decades now that no one knows any more… Isn’t that silly? To fight over something that you can’t even remember?” But deep down, Tomas knows it’s not that simple. Because mobs don’t need an impetus; not when there’s so much profit to be made in criminality. All the rest is just stories, to play on the sympathies of a winsome public. He should know… He played on that same, guileless sympathy, night after night after night on a front-lit stage. But art is one thing, war is another. And Celeste is tied up in this war, much as he hates to think about it.
“Maybe I’ll go back to Rome one of these days,” Tomas announces abruptly, shifting upright in his chair. There’s an ardent gleam in his eyes because he likes thinking in maybes. They’re so much more satisfying than the limitations of what is or isn’t strictly possible. “I’d like to take my wife with me. She’s never been… Can you believe it?? Never been to Rome… We could start there, then maybe a tour of Europe. Maybe a second honeymoon. I’m sure she’d like that.” He doesn’t know if that’s true, he doesn’t know if he can ever return to Rome, but it has a romantic ring to it nonetheless. And when has Troilus ever been able to deny the sweet-nothing whispers of romance, even as a city tears itself apart around him?….
Never, he thinks… Not even then.
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(Thank you for Reading!!)
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