#many thoughts they r so meeee

[npdvelvette]

since the cluster b community has been identifying with hazbin characters i thought i’d share some hcs about vox & velvette ♡

i personally see vox as being narcissistic and histrionic. even his appearance could relate to this with the sense of him always putting on a show, literally. he’s performative and exaggerated and determined to remain at the top of the hierarchy and reinforce his status — shown by him constantly bringing out new inventions & feeling the need to compete with alastor.

even his fixation on alastor is related to npd, with him feeling threatened by al who is very similar to him (and npd coded too), so desperately needing to prove his superiority, or even that they are on equal footing. i know i experience this competitiveness with some other pwnpd that deep down i feel could almost be equal, which means they’re more threatening.

he also clearly hopes to provoke a reaction by streaming a live diss track all over hell, both from alastor and the public. his behaviour is rooted in maintaining status and fuelling his ego which despite the outwardly projected confidence is clearly unstable — his reaction at the end of stayed gone shows this.

he can’t stand not being involved and literally tries to inject himself into the hotel situation with pentious but ends up failing.

with velvette i can see her as being antisocial and narcissistic. i like the theories i’ve seen about her being a social media influencer when she was alive and perhaps even leading to someone’s death via online bullying, without really thinking about the effects of her actions on others. she clearly disrespects authority as shown by her behaviour in the overlord meeting, as well as being impulsive (quick to jump to starting a war with heaven after finding the exorcist head). her idea to fight with heaven also shows she doesn’t comprehend the reality of the damage it could do to both her own life and others in hell.

respectless is a great example of multiple npd traits: she displays feelings of high importance (referring to herself as the backbone of the vees), superiority (“i could eat you lot for breakfast”) and disregard for authority (her statements to zestial & carmilla who are a lot older). could also be taken as reckless behaviour since presumably(?) zestial is a lot more powerful, and she’s straight up insulting him.

this is just brief but i have a Lot more thoughts about both of them as well as alastor, so if anyone’s interested i’ll post more about it. and feel free to ask me questions relating to it<3

narc abuse believers dni this is for the cluster bs

#many thoughts they r so meeee #actually npd #npd #actually narcissistic #cluster b #cluster b pd #actually antisocial #actually hpd #actually histrionic #npd headcanons #npd safe #hazbin

[bingobongobonko]

i know i said i was going to bed but osmosis jones still holds up so fucking good. god thats sucg a good movie. peak

#fool's monologue #the designs are soooooooooooooooooooooooo #designs are fucking amazing the thought behind each setting is REALLY fun and cool #and the gags that come w/ em. like its gross out stuff but its COOL. I LIKE THE WAY THEY DO IT #and its still so fucking cool to me how many of the main characters r voiced by black actors #i should make my bf watch osmosis jones with meeee

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Boyfriend x GN Reader

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 , NSFW

Yan! Boyfriend who you thought to be a golden retriever only to have him turn into a Doberman the moment you are away from him.

Yan! Boyfriend who is the "all 5 love language combo" for you and you only!

Act of service? Fun, especially when his head is buried into your crotch. That aside, yes he does all those sweet ass stuffs. Anything you think of, he has done it, even to the very most downbad shit you could think of.

Physical touch? PDA if you are into that, else either a hand around your thigh, squeezing them with love or shit ton of pecks.

Words of affection? 'My love looks so gorgeous as usual! What a refined beauty my love is, no wonder I can't stop falling head over heels for you!' And you were on the bed with bad hair, drooling on your pillow.

Gifting? How many gifts have you received today from him? Starting from something little to something large? The most surprising would be him coming home with a pet for you.

"Ta-daaa! You've been saying you want a pet so I think you will like this!"

Quality time? Not a problem for him. He has a lot of time for you. Hm? Work? Better not question him further about it. All that matters is that it's enough to give the two of you more than enough, even allowing the two of you to laze around. (Unlike Yan! Lawyer Husband and Yan! Antagonist who barely has any time for darling pfft-)

Yan! Boyfriend who is practically on his knees like a dog waiting for his treat when you are about to do something ✨️ r o m a n t i c a l ✨️ on him. Say who's a good boy and you could have sworn you saw his non-existent tail wagging excitedly.

"Who's a good boy hm? Who's a gooood boy??"

"Me! Blue! Blue is a good boy!"

Well, at least he is now because he wasn't when you first met him. He's changed a lot just for you, didn't want to disappoint you the next time you see him.

Yan! Boyfriend is the guy who you can really depend on for everything. Financially? Yes. Wanna beat the fuck out of someone? Call him and that person will have a taste of all the martial arts he has learned back then, not to mention he was quite the delinquent back then. Mentally? Yes. He's always there for you, either making it worse or better.

Yan! Boyfriend who likes to show you off to his friends and co-workers so much as though you are his prized possession. The hand that never leaves your waist and the dagger he shot at the people who stared at you for a bit too long are threatening enough to scare them away. Will definitely have a separate chat with them later,

"The fuck you are looking at my love for hm?"

Ignore how their nose is red and bleeding okay? If only Blue was able to do more, he would have had his fist buried into their face even more and harder like in the good ol' days. Has no choice but to be good else someone might rat to you about his behavior again.

Yan! Boyfriend who really likes to sleep on your lap, being able to feel you this close just makes him feel all giddy like a teenager in love. Would litter kisses and licks if you are not wearing anything that covers your thighs.

Yan! Boyfriend who will almost have the same taste in music as yours because he's just like that. Sucking in everything about you and ends up liking it.

Yan! Boyfriend who will vibe with you nonstop. If you are the crack type person, he will just be as crack as you, making people think whether the two of you are high in crack or not. Will always make you feel like it's okay to do anything you want without having to be embarrassed. Too shy to sing? Well, watch him scream his lungs out (Lemon and Grape chilling with ear muffs) and his hand motioning you tag along.

"BABY WON'T YOU LOOOOVEEE MEEEE"

"What do you say we gag him up with the mic?"

"Great, I'll hold him by the neck."

Yan! Boyfriend who really loves watching you sleep. No, he's not a somnophilic bastard like Yulian. He just adores seeing you resting so peacefully. (while Eleanor panicking over darling sleeping)

Yan! Boyfriend who enjoys cooking breakfast for you. You'll wake up greeted with him standing by the kitchen or sitting by the dining table waiting for you to wake up. Hm? If the food has gone cold because you woke up late, he'll just reheat it. Nothing biggie so no need to feel bad about it ^^

Yan! Boyfriend who is always keeping his mental state in check just in case it cracks open the ugly side of him again. He's embarrassed of it yet he is grateful for it because it brought the two of you to meet. Just staying next to you is enough to keep him sane so try not to stray too far from him okay? He might really snap again and the place you once called home might be nothing but ruins.

"Love you... dear."

Yan! Boyfriend who hates being away from you! If his work suddenly requires him to be somewhere away from you, he will bring you along with him! (I might make a chart of the difference for all the LIfE Pro casts)

"Almost feels like a vacation eh? Let's visit this place once I'm done with work love!"

Although he always brings you along, there are times when he'll have to leave you with Lemon or Grape, either asking them to stay with you or you stay over their place.

"Try not to dent his sport car again yeah? He was yapping at me for hours ahaha! I will ask Grape to watch over you as well, she'll do well as your nanny. Hm? Not a little kid anymore? Oh no no, better be safe than sorry. Don't want those nasty ghosts keeping you awake during the night yeah?"

Afternote:

Blue is my second favorite! Yulian has always been the first so no one sees Blue that much... he's just so sweet... although the story he shares with Eleanor tangles everything up...

#LIfE Project #yandere male #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere imagines #male yandere #yandere insert #yandere oc #yandere headcanons #yandere works #yandere writing #reader insert #x reader #oc #x gn reader #yandere husband

[blingblong55]

Hello! I am new to your tumblr, so I would like to give you a request

So the one TF141 had come back from a real rough mission and reader gave them gifts to cheer them up (price and his cigars and ghost and his bourbon) what if that was reversed?

Reader had a solo mission and it was rough and draining and she comes back to the base almost looking lifeless and the 141 boys decided to come up with something for her. Either all together or on their own.

yessss this is what feeds meeee

Antidote- 141

Three days ago you had been assigned to a solo mission. Price would be on comms but all of your skills and training had to be on display. It was by far the toughest mission you've had to yourself, so many hours spent on the woods, hunting. When you encountered the enemy, it was far from being over. For two days you fought. Giving the enemy no rest.

Today everything was over, you eliminated the target and left no witnesses. "let's get you home kid." price's voice over comms interrupted your short nap.

You got back to base around 8 in the morning. The team waited for you at chow hall. But you never showed up. When price went to check on you, you had disappeared from your room. Eventually Gaz spotted you doing drills with some rookies.

Soap and Ghost didn't believe you were running around with rookies, they checked for themselves and there you were. Running along side, you a few steps ahead. "she needs to rest, c'mon tell 'em." Gaz nudged at Price. "I have something better." The three men followed price. They went to your quarters and started to fix you room, soap left to clean your equipment. Gaz had to go out and get some of your favorite meals,(snacks and what not) he had a whole list that the other men filled out.

Price was organizing your room, he knew how much you hated when everything was a mess, but then Ghost had the idea to build a fort, he had remembered that one time on a tough mission, you had told him how you and your siblings would build forts, eat snacks and watch movies. "it was our safe place. Free of everyone." Your eyes teared up and he for the first time ever, hugged you.

When Soap came back, he helped build the fort, he knew how to build them, unlike Price and Ghost. "you two get on her netflix account and start looking at films." he instructed.

Then Price with the help of Soap, snuck the projector and more pillows into your room. Gaz soon arrived, bags of your favorite foods, snacks and your favorite drink dragged his arms down.

The four men organized the pillows never leaving anything of the floor under uncovered. Gaz and Soap went to check on you, while Ghost was still deciding what movie felt appropriate for your mood today.

"C'mon, you can't tell me you don't have a favorite movie!"

"fineeee, its Matilda."

"thats a sad one." Gaz commented,

"its a comfort movie!, I love it for the fuzzy feeling it gives me,"

Matilda it is, Ghost thought. He and Price found their spots and waited for the other men to lure you in.

----

Back with some rookies, you stood there. Your soldier mentality still giving its last moments of life. It was all your training, once you had set your mental state to a soldier, it was hard to snap out of it. That's why you ran, did drills and sparred with them. Because deep down, your own mentality was awaiting to cry out for help.

Soap tackled you, then Gaz tried to grab you by your hips, but you fought back. They looked at each other, and made the perfect plan.

Gaz held you by your underarms, meanwhile Soap had a hold of your feet, and they walked back to your room. "seriously this isn't funny, put me down!" you said,

----

After a minute of struggle they made it to your room. You were let down, and as you slowly stood up they all watched you.

"What is this?"

"its r/n's day!" Soap hugged you from behind. His chin rested on your shoulder, "I don't understand."

"You always said you wanted a r/n day, where we pamper you and well, the day finally arrived." Price answering you.

And for hours until dusk you all stayed in your room, watching movies, telling stories and laughing at something the other says.

----

You never needed forts, or mountains of pillows, all you needed was your boys. Them being there for you. You did cry a little, the attention to detail they all had to your old memories was immaculate. You for once understood Ghost actually listened to you when you blabbered for hours on end.

"Thank you." you whispered as your eyes slowly closed. Gaz tugged on your waist as your settled around them all. Soap was there, his hands on your hair, so delicate, so sweet. "Anytime." Ghost said, his raspy voice, making you finally close your eyes.

Maybe it was the comfort they all brought to your life, or maybe it was the fact that you were sleeping in the most safest room in the world.

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!

Tags: @technically-not-a-loner

A/n: I have to confess this is made my sad little heart jump with joy, I just need someone to illustrate the four men around reader...pleassee

#mw2 141 #cod 141 #141 x reader #task force 141 #141 #captain price #mw2 #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod modern warfare #ghost cod #cod x reader #cod #soap cod #simon ghost riley #modern warfare 2 #ghost mw2 #price mw2 #mwii #mw2 fanfic #call of duty mw2 #gaz mw2 #soap mw2 #soap x you #soap x reader #john soap mactavish #soap modern warfare #simon riley #soap call of duty #johnny mactavish

[master-of-stupidity]

Fuck it gonna put all my Tangled rants into a single thread that I'll just continue on if needed-

Oldest to newest btww (also spoilers most of these r about Eugene btw ik ik I'm a lil autistic spare me 💀)

That one part of Bruno is Orange but Eugene coded-

"Did you hear about that Father

Sent his own infant son away

And said "It's to *dangerous* for

you to stay so, I had to *save* you" "

I may be cringe but I am FREE

Yo omg ok so my brother is singin a Into the Woods song while I look at Tangled stuff n it made me remember a scene from the play where Gothel yells at the Prince "Rapunzel can think for herself!" n like- dude Cass said the same thing in Cassandra's Revenge to Eugene! Ooo girlll-

The way I would kill so many ppl if it meant getting a series about Lance n Eugene as kids like broooo imagineee-

Its crazy how like I'll be enjoying my day than suddenly I'll see a post of a mf going "Hey what if Eugene thought he was a yr younger cuz he was like a rlly scrawny kid?" Yeah ok sure n what if I hit u with a *metal pole*

My tangled ocs r so random its hilarious- like it goes from a bodyguard,a greedy businessman,a ringleader,n than that one serial killer who turns ppl into meat pies like how did we get here???? 😭🙏

I just remembered like just a few days ago my brother randomly said "vase" while playing Fortnite n my ass just said "vAHse" just to fck w/ him n like that kinda reminded me of that one scene of Eugene n Cass like damn they were sibling coded frrr lmao I miss em

Wdym there was a scrapped Eugene n Lance childhood episode??🧍And WDYM it's literally everything I ever wished for and more???????? 😃

Would love to see Eugene n Martin Kratt interact solely to see Martin be appalled n slowly lose his mind over how Eugene knows jackshit about animals 💀🙏

I think the Eugene genderbends look so weird to me because none of them kept the infamous goatee like cmon man don't be a coward give that girl some facial hair 🗣🗣

I should not be relating Heather's music to scenes from Tangled the Series yet here we r 😭

Omggg thinking about how Eugene proposing to Rapunzel in tts came from his abandonment issues n him literally not being able to see a life without Rapunzel omgg shut upppp leave me ALONEEE

Literally despise with every fiber of my being how the writers of the shitty Wreck it Ralph 2 movie had fcking RAPUNZEL of all ppl say "Do ppl assume all ur problems were solved just because a big strong man showed up?" They fcking HATEE the movie Tangled *so much* bro istggg

OMFG THE VOICE OF KING FREDRIC FROM TANGLED IS MR. FCKING KRABS WHAT?????

The way I wanna be bold n talk more about the "Over the Corona Walls" ep- esp about Staylan n Eugene n all the icky implications of that but I'm also so scared too cuz I fear ppl won't take me seriously or think I'm overanalyzing too much 😭🙏

Lowkey not over the fact Eugene was willing to trap himself back in an abusive relationship, "leaving" the one person he HAS died for n would die for again, all to save his best friend like bro don't TALK TO MEEEE

As u can tell I am totally normal n not at all ill about Eugene or this show 😁

What if I gave Eugene like- slight wedding trauma after the whole "Beyond the Corona Walls" incident??? I think it'd be kinda cool n in character ngll 🤭🤭

No but that prompt for the unaired Lance n Eugene episode STILL makes me so fcking ill bro stg can't STAND those mfss bro 😭😭

"And if I gave up on being *pretty* I wouldn't know how to be ALIVE" is SO Eugene coded idc idc idccccc

You think if I put Eugene Fitzherbert in The Amazing Digital Circus he'd be a walking dumpster fire considering he needs an identity to function n in TADC u like- quite literally don't have one??? 💀

Was listening to an audio last night n now I kinda wish we knew like- what Eugene's mom was actually *like* in a way considering I don't think her character was ever explored :((

Why is this plushie literally Eugene Fitzherbert omgg I want it nowwww

To the ppl who only see others as their pfps lowkey rlly hope y'all just see me as jester Eugene Fitzherbert cuz that'd be rlly funny n I'd love that 💀🙏 like yes I truly am just Eugene in a jester fit yappin my ass off on twitter dot com LMFAOOO (btw follow me @/theratbatjester)

#martin kratt #wild kratts #tangled the series #tangled series #tangled #tangled oc #tts eugene #tts oc #tts cassandra #tts rapunzel #tts lance #tts edmund #new dream #tts #into the woods #heathers #im so normal #so so normal #eugene fitzherbert #lance strongbow #tadc #the amazing digital circus

[fukia]

Fionna & Cake final thoughts , opinions and nitpicks lol

This will be unorganized and random and stinky, sorry

• great pacing first 2 eps

• good ideas

• ignoring multiverse saturation, is p decently done here!

• I miss Neil Patrick’s take on Gary/gumball- he sounded so freakin princely :(

• marshall sounded kinda less mischievous than he used to? Like vocally more down or something- I’m super glad he had the same actor tho lol Donaldddd

• I miss old Prismo voice too but I know why these didn’t work out

• Hunter’s voice either could’ve gone for a deep gravely stoicism or could’ve just been w/ the same actor as Huntress Wizard

• Scarab is ehhh- decent design but feels kinda out of place for adventure time- voice is similarly the same offness too, reminded me of kinda bad anime dub voices, it doesn’t feel intentional to the right extent —- either make a more surreal villain or a funnier one, his presence was rather generic

• the spooky faces and scurrying beetle of scarab was kinda funny

• lemongrab. Why justnonce roiland.

• I will end my life a million aeons over for Orbo - bluey’s dad: “say goodbye to your legs!”

• mmmarceline dress

• bubblegum mmmmilitary

• I wish we saw the fucking MOON vampire

• MOON vs STAR (super cool naming if the uh tarot thing is carried on here I legit don’t know if star is an actual tarot card lemme check)

• ORGALORG WHYYYYYY

• marshall n Gary was sweet- but I really wished they played up the bitter exes part before they did just the fluffy dating, bring a bit of parallel consistency

• fionna was good acting! The crying bit made my heart ouches- Character herself was a tad frustrating at times admittedly

• cake is great still - cake and vampire king hilarious

• why no “the star”’s actual dad :(

• BETH SHERMY GIBBON YES YES YES- back to old adventure time: I love the intro theme for Beth and shermy, it’s so melancholic and desolate, cold, with backgrounds that make this so fascinatingly depressing a turn for the land of oo (happy endings impermanent- life goes on kinda deal, so cool, so consistent with adventure time’s own concepts & “everything stays”)

• Simon and Betty made me emotional

• uhh how old was Betty when she starting dating simon? Just offhand lol I’m sure it was fine

• Golbetty had beautiful scenes

• way better simon and Golbetty than that weird adventure time published comic I’m sure some of you read

• the animation is great on some places, other times while well made, feels out of place for adventure time; like it’s trying too hard to be pretty (not the Ice Prince song, stuff like that made sense for adventure time)

• like some bits reminded me of Steven universe’s inconsistencies (same bits that made me really really dislike some of adventure time distant lands’ execution)

• [funny nitpick incoming] like there were points where the characters had really big eyes even tho they r supposed to be dots (not when exaggerating certain emotions cartoonishly, I meant prolonged); adventure time’s deal is keeping them small and kinda hard to decipher

• some bits were just a tinnny too anime that it bothered me, just some! Anime is cool!!!

• I was really expecting or hoping for a Korra styled multi-season just with lesser episodes

• the resolution was… kinda haphazardly handled

• same with some of the final themes, like w/ simon n betty

• adventure time is kinda known for being almost ambiguously optimistic so the whole super happy thing was kinda strange to me

• I know like it shouldn’t have to be the same as adventure time obviously, but that was the general identity of adventure time; the cosmic ambiguity with absurd humor delivered nonchalantly

• like I think of patience st pim’s ice domain during elements and the melancholic quietness of it - also PATIENCE ST PIM WHYYYYY I LOVED YOU (patiencevstheempresscough)

• ORGALORG COME BACK TO MEEEE

• yes it was a great thing to have this miniseries I enjoyed many parts

• the music was fucking fire!!!

• where was the dr two brains reference ? -3-

#adventure time #fionna campbell #simon x fionna #fionna and cake #golb #golbetty #orgalorg #Beth and shermy #marshall lee #fionna the human #adventure time fionna and cake #opinions

[paranormeow7]

Sooooo ive been wanting to Write smthn abt my oc Gavin and his backstory bc he makes me SO INSANE. This has been in the works for maybe like 2 weeks and ITS FINALLY DONE SO Without further ado, here’s this lmao (this is my first time tryin 2 do smthn like this, any critiques r very welcome!!)

CATSKIN

an oc story. by meeee :3

tw: parental abuse, detailed depictions of gore, disturbing imagery, death, animal harm, substance abuse, vomiting, possible dermatillomania trigger, religious trauma, etc

disclaimer!! Part of this story takes place in a fictionalized, static version of the 1950s-60s where racism/transphobia/etc don’t really exist/exist as they do now. Putting that there to clear up any confusion. I swear there’s a worldbuilding reason for this I’m not just doing it to get away with having a trans MC in a story set in the past i prommy-

word count: WHO KNOWS but its kinda long lol strap in

What would you do if you found out everything you thought about how the world worked was was wrong? Would you freak out and retreat back to your comfort zone? Or would you take it as an opportunity to escape, no matter how much pain it caused you?

A sunny April afternoon in a cookie-cutter American suburb. Rows of houses, some with trash cans kicked over, or dented/nonexistent mailboxes. Egg stains on the brightly colored vinyl siding. Lousy teenagers.

The house on the back end of Maple Street, in the sleepy old town of Lockroot, Who-The-Fuck-Cares America was a tiny yellow shack with a beat-up blue roof and dark stains running down the siding. Behind that wooden door with its chipped, blood-red paint, a calendar on the wall read April 14th, 1956.

The buzzing fluorescent kitchen lights shone down on an eleven year old child with wavy brown hair and sunken black eyes. It reminded him of divine light, but there was no god waiting for him that day. All the lights did was accentuate the frown painted across his pallid face. His mother sat across him at the table, looking livid, as per usual. She was always mad at something.

“Chie, do you appreciate all that I do for you?” He stared at the dusty white lucky cat on the shelf, its eyes vacantly staring into space, golden coin growing dull, a painted grin upon its wooden face.

Mocking him.

He always hated cats.

“Yes, Mother.”

She stared him down, her perfectly ironed poodle skirt and white blouse a betrayal of her anger. God, please just let me leave. Let this go fast today. “Are you sure, Chie? Because last I recall, attempting to go into the forest that I specifically told you not to visit wasn’t the way to show it.”

He suddenly became hyperaware of the dirt on his knees. The forest was on the edge of town, blocked off by a barbed wire fence. No one thought about it. It was like it didn’t exist.

“Do you want us to look like a family of ruffians with no self control? Do you want to disgrace our name? Does that sound like fun to you?”

The child shrank back in his cracked leather chair, suddenly finding a great degree of interest in his scuffed brown shoes. He’d gotten them for 3 dollars at a neighbors garage sale, the very same sale they’d gotten the chairs at.

“Rich of you, calling us a family since Father’s gone.”

The child knew he’d made a mistake the moment the words came out of him. He didn’t even know why he’d said anything to begin with. Me and my big mouth. However, what was said could not be taken back. He would just have to live with it.

The color immediately drained from his mother’s hollow, freckled cheeks. Her eyes narrowed into piercing blue slits. “What… did you… just… say to me…?”

Her son braced himself, making himself small, preparing for what he knew was soon to come.

“What did you just FUCKING say to me? You ungrateful little RAT?”

The cold, bony hand came at him like so many before, grabbing him by the hair, yanking him up. His scalp felt like it was on fire, his long brown hair coming out in chunks. pleasestopimsorryiloveyoumommy. After this, he’d chop it all off in front of the spiderweb cracks of his bathroom mirror.

“I do EVERYTHING for this family! I buy your food, your clothes, I send you to school, I brought you into this world!”

Thank you, Mother.

“What have you EVER done for me? NOTHING. ZIP. All you ever do is take from me. Youre just like your no good, mangy dog of a father.”

He thought back to the family portrait that had stood on the mantel of the house, until around 4 years ago, when his dear Father up and sped off in that shiny red Mustang convertible. God, how the child had loved that car.

Afterwards, Mother had taken all the photos of him and burned them in their backyard with the trash. He suspected she wanted him to forget what he looked like. Well, too bad, since in the bottom of his junk drawer, he’d saved the family photo, from their mantel. Aiko. His fathers name was Aiko Nakamura.

At seven, he failed to notice the wild look in his eyes, and how much he tended to glance at the fenced-off woods. But at eleven, it was all he could think of as he nursed his brand new shiner and stared at the cracks in his bedroom ceiling. He knew he’d seen a shape in the darkness that day. It almost looked like a matted, skeletal gray cat. Smiling at him. Just like the lucky cat in the kitchen.

Father got out. He knows the secrets of the woods. Of a life beyond this. Maybe one day I will too.

7 years later, the child, now called Gavin, opened his eyes to that very same ceiling, covered in posters for horror flicks, stolen from the newly opened theatre. No matter, he liked the old drive-in more anyways. His mother was always threatening to take them down and throw them out, but she knew that even if she tried, he’d always bring home more anyways. At any rate, she wasn’t home right now. He rolled out of bed, taking a moment to stare at the autumn leaves outside his window. Orange was always his favorite color, but he didn’t have a time to linger. The phone was ringing.

He wandered out to the living room, picking up the shiny red rotary telephone. “もしもし, Nakamura household.” His mother never answered the phone with this greeting, but his father had taught it to him as a child, and he liked it. “Gavin, babe! Hows tricks?” He could hear the smile on the other end. “Hi, Valley.” His face lit up along with hers. They had started dating almost a year ago. “That doesn’t answer my question, but its no matter, you can answer it in around 10 minutes from now!” He was puzzled, for a moment, but hearing sound of a key jangling in the background, he got it. “Val, you don’t have to. There’s barely any food in the fridge, hasn’t been full for weeks. You got your own posh little house to sit up in, don’t ya?” Gavin didn’t like Valley coming to his house. Its not like there was anything to do outside of watch their outdated cabinet television or throw his old baseball around, and Val was rich. He didn’t want her to feel like she owed him anything.

“Too late, doll! I brought snacks for the both of us, anyways. Catch ya later Gav!” “Val, wait just a-“ She blew a kiss into the receiver, and the call disconnected. Gavin rolled his eyes, hung up, and threw on his favorite brown bomber jacket. Val had always been so caring.

I don’t deserve her.

He didn’t have time to wallow, hearing the sound of a window opening. He ran up to his room and opened the door, right as Valley fell through the window, landing on her butt with a loud thump, along with a case of strawberry soda. My favorite… At the sight of the chubby, dark skinned girl in his bedroom, Gavin ran to help her up. “Ever the gentleman, ain’tcha?” She set down the basket she was holding and situated herself on the bed. Her matching red skirt and cardigan, and floor length locs that must’ve taken ages to style, were already gathering dust. Why’d she have to come here?

Gavin suddenly became aware of the mess in the room. Dirty clothes on the dresser, books stacked near the bed, and dozens of loose papers strewn across the floor, each adorned with sketches, paintings, collages, poems, anything his mind could conjure up when he couldn’t sleep. Blushing, he attempted to sweep them away, but not before Val took notice, and picked one up off the floor. “Your art is so lovely, Gavin. What’s this one?” Taking it from her and stashing it away, he responded “Nothing in particular, just couldn’t sleep. You know me, haha!!” He was bright red this point. Change the subject, will you, dear?

That she did. “Sooo, what are we gonna do for your birthday this weekend? You’re gonna be eighteen! Far out, huh?” Oh. Right. Eighteen. He didn’t know how to feel, if he was being honest. “I dunno, maybe we can go out and see a movie.” Val put her head on his shoulder and laughed. Gavin winced. The shoulder was bruised. However, thats what love was. Wasn’t it? “That’s what we always do!” Val chirped. “Ain’t much else in this town, is there?” Gavin quipped. But, if he was being honest, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

Gavin sat up and stared out his cracked bedroom window, past the pretty orange leaves, past the cheesy Halloween decorations, past the shops and diners and gas stations. All the way to the forest surrounding their little town.

Nobody thought much of it, which was true. Nobody that is, except the kids. While the adults were content to sit back and live their monotonous American dream, the children would whisper across the town, stories of what could possibly be on the other side of that barbed wire fence. “My cousin said there’s monsters out there. He says they have no skin, and they’ll cut you up and eat you bit by bit while you’re still alive. They start with your eyes.”

“My sister said that if you fall asleep out there, you’ll never wake up again and have horrible nightmares for the rest of your life. The spirits out there keep you asleep so they can eat your dreams.”

Run of the mill horror stories. But among the bolder, or perhaps the more beaten down, those with less to lose, the woods offered something else. A fortune beyond comprehension. Godlike power. Freedom. A new life, a new start. All sorts of wonders, waiting for those who knew where to look.

Maybe that’s what the adults were afraid of, because every once in a while, a new person would get this look in their eyes, like they knew a good secret. They would become more and more withdrawn, or excitable, or any suspicious change that could happen in a person. Then, after a little while, around a few days to a year, they would disappear. Sometimes it was a business trip, an inheritance, a need for a change of scenery. And sometimes they would just.

Vanish. Without a trace. They were there, and then they weren’t. Of course, they would send out search parties to comb the town for them, and reassure everyone who asked that they were doing the best they could. But of course, everybody knew. The seductive call of the woods was not to fall of deaf ears. After a while, their “MISSING PERSONS” posters were taken down and discarded, and they lived in the town only through the gossip of the children. Gavin had quite a collection of salvaged posters on his bedroom wall, hidden behind his dresser. His mother would blow a gasket, he thought.

When his mother wasn’t reading him the Bible, Gavin’s father used to tell him old Japanese folktales about fox spirits, yokai, kaibutsu. He recalled his stories of creatures known as Kaibyo when-

“Hey, spaceboy. Whatcha thinkin about?” Valley waved a hand in front of his face, bringing him back to reality.

“Nothing, doll. Absolutely nothing.”

Laughter. Then, a kiss. Warm hands caressing his cheeks, on his waist, through his short brown hair. It was 1963, the love decade was soon to kick off, there was a girl in his bed and the world was beautiful, if only for a little while.

At some point, Valley left, and Gavin picked up the piece of paper that she’d asked him about. Clinging to his tarnished silver first communion rosary, a chill ran down his spine, for no reason he could discern. On the paper was a sketch of an emaciated gray cat, with a wide, yellow toothed grin.

Two days until his birthday.

He fell asleep rather quickly that night, which was unusual for him, but it was a shallow sleep, dreaming of nothing but black water, fur, and two piercing, blue eyes.

CAUTION-CUIDADO-ATTENTION

あなた以外に神はいない

Waking up in a cold sweat, Gavin rolled over in his creaky bed. He looked over at his alarm clock. 2:18 AM.

for fucks sake.

Staring at his beat-up wooden desk and the piles of paper and pencils sitting at it, it occurred to him that he didn’t feel like drawing that night. It was a pretty night, with a lovely moon in the sky.

Some fresh air would do me good.

He’d fallen asleep in his clothes. Motor oil stained white T-shirt, frayed black pants, and of course, his brown leather bomber jacket. It had seen a lot in all the years he’d owned it. It had been patched twice, one on each elbow, in different colors. He wanted to paint something on the back, but he didn’t know what he wanted yet. He hadn’t thought about it.

Tiptoeing as not to wake his catatonic mother, who was sleeping on the couch in front of the TV, Gavin almost stepped on a shard of broken glass.

Beer bottles.

The living room floor was carpeted in them, in sparkling amber and green, casting moonlight all over the room, in the multifaceted reflections of the tired faces residing within it.

Beautiful… so beautiful…

He’d never drank alcohol before. He knew a lot of kids at his school who would. Theyd throw big parties at their parents houses while they were away, cut into Daddy’s brandy, and go rampaging around the neighborhood, TPing trees, streaking through the park, smashing windshields, all kinds of juvenile delinquent shenanigans. It was always the worst on Halloween, which was coming up. It was October, the month of playground rumors, teenage pranksters, and a chill of anticipation in the air.

Gavin put down the bottle, grabbed a bolt cutter and walked outside.

A cold wind immediately blew into his face, making him shiver and sneeze. A shower of damp orange leaves fluttered into his hair. As he plucked one out, he glanced toward his favorite thing he’d ever owned, his escape from all of his troubles.

A shiny motorcycle sat in the driveway, waiting. He’d rescued it from the scrapyard a few years prior and had it painted red, just like his father’s old car. His mother was always telling him to scrap it.

“Lets go, old girl.” Revving the engine, stepping on the gas, and taking flight. Wind in his hair, leaves in his face, he drove, and for a little while, he forgot all of his troubles. He passed by each and every cookie-cutter house, with their perfectly trimmed lawns, covered in tacky Halloween decorations. Bright, glowing jack-o-lanterns. Wispy plastic spiderwebs. Cartoon witches and ghosts.

Snarling black cats with brightly colored eyes.

Blue eyes.

Gavin looked away and kept driving all the way up until he reached his destination.

The edge of town, and the entrance to the forest, the sign-covered fence surrounding it, like a dare.

CAUTION-CUIDADO-ATTENTION

It had an eerie air about it. While the trees in town were decorated in all the fiery reds, oranges, and yellows of fall, the trees of the woods were all painted in the strange shades of evergreen leaves. They seemed to fade from green to what looked like blue the further you looked. The bark was white, like birch wood, but with an odd, almost pearlescent sheen if you looked too hard. And were those… eyes…

Hello.

Jerking him out from his troubled thoughts, was a voice, from behind. Human. What else would it be, silly? He turned around and almost fell backwards at the sight of a silhouette of a woman, we standing over him. “SHIT!!” he declared. A giggle in response. Oh…

“Hi, Valley…” Gavin exhaled. It hadn’t occurred to him that he was holding his breath at all. She took his hand and squeezed it. He smiled. Her hands were warm. “Why do you look so afraid? Did you think you were the only kid who came out here?”

His heartbeat slowed. Maybe she would understand. Maybe she wants to go with me. Maybe we can see whats on the other side together.

He glanced at his motorcycle, at the bolt cutters, and began to speak.

“Remember when I told you i didn’t know what I wanted to do for my birthday?” A puzzled expression danced across Valley’s face. Exhale. “Val, how would you like to see whats on the other side with me? We can get away from all this. Together. Just like we wanted, right?” His eyes shined in anticipation.

Valley’s expression changed to a warm smile. She leaned towards him and kissed him. Her lips were soft and she tasted like the strawberry soda she brought him the day before.

His heart fluttered. His face got warm. Was this happening?

She pulled away.

His hands felt so cold all of a sudden.

“Oh, Gavin, doll. You know theres nothing out there, right?”

“what…?”

“There just isn’t. All the folks that go out there just die. Everybody knows. Please don’t tell me you believe all the stories the kids tell. I love you and I support you, but I can’t agree with you on this.

Don’t you remember what happened to your father?”

The mention of his father made his blood run cold. Sure, he left him and his mom to fend for themselves, leaving them poor and hungry, but whatever was on the other side of that fence had to be worth it, right? He wouldn’t have done all this for nothing, right?

He can’t be dead. He’s out there somewhere. He has to be.

He hadn’t noticed that that familiar haunted look had passed over his own face, the way Valley had. He felt a strong, warm hand gripping his sleeve.

“Gavin, please. I know you want to find out what happened to your dad, but I’m really worried about you. I’ve been trying to support you no matter what, and I know you’ve been going through a lot, but I can’t let you go in there-“

“let go of me.”

“w-what…?”

“please, I-“

“Gavin, you’re scaring me. Please come back with me, I love you-“

“I SAID LET GO.”

Gavin pulled away with such ferocity that Valley fell backwards against his motorcycle, toppling it over. Breathing hard, he turned back towards his girlfriend. The look in her eyes was indescribable. There was so much hurt, so much fear, so much worry for him.

He couldn’t handle it. He had to run. Gavin knew he probably should have just turned back and ran home, but he just couldn't deal with the anger of his mother, the worry of his girlfriend, and everyone, all of Lockroot watching, knowing. Seeing the look in his dark brown eyes.

There goes another one.

He dropped his bolt cutters and clambered over the fence, ignoring the barbed wire digging into his hands and the warm blood gushing down his cold wrists. Ignoring the sobs and begs of his girlfriend. Ignoring them as they stopped completely. Getting to the top of the fence, he threw himself over, no hesitation. Landing hard on his side, a shot of pain burst through his hip, causing him to let out a moan. It didn’t matter. He just needed to get away. Gavin got up with a pained grunt and took off, deep into the mouth of the dark, cavernous woods, not daring to look back.

As he ran, searing pain throbbed in his side and the deep gashes in his hands left an obvious trail of blood behind him. Gavin’s injuries were getting harder to ignore, threatening to throw him back into the rotten leaves and worm infested dirt. He had to keep going. He didn’t know what he was running from or where he was trying to get. He just knew he didn’t want to fall. He was afraid that if he did, he’d pass out, never wake up, and rot alone out there in these God forsaken woods, his lean, sallow body slowly falling to pieces and filling with maggots, beetles and flies. Picking at his soft flesh. Eating him, bit by little bit.

The air had grown moist, tepid and suffocating. Gavin started to gasp and heave for breath. Wasn’t it October? The eyes on the tree bark were growing sharper and darker. Scrutinising him.

Stop looking at me.

He couldn’t fall. He couldn’t surrender. There were whispers in his ears, so faint that he didn’t know if he was really hearing them. The voice was indescribable, neither male nor female, young or old, but filled with desire, desire for something beyond what it had. Something it shouldn’t be allowed.

lie down here with me, will you? you’re a handsome one. why don’t you stay a while…

He felt paws all over him, grasping at his thighs and his stomach, pulling at his hair. It felt familiar.

keepgoingkeepgoingdontstopyoucantquitnow

In the end, his undoing was a regular old, run of the mill, medium sized gray rock. The kind you’d find in your backyard. His foot hit the stone hard and he went down, right on his bad hip. Crack. He lay on the ground for a few minutes, not even mustering up the energy to scream. The only thing that came out of his dry, cracked lips was a soft, pathetic moan, followed by a choked-back sob. What had he been thinking? Valley was right, there was nothing out here, and now he was lost and all alone. His girlfriend was gone, his mom was gone, and now he was going to die out in these horrible woods just like his father.

Blood gushing from his hands and tears flowing from his eyes, Gavin slowly sat up and tried to brush the dirt off of his soiled leather jacket. At that moment, he noticed a horrible smell.

Like a garbage dump. Like rotting meat. Like death.

The stench was overpowering. It assaulted his sinuses and made him gag. Gavin swayed, doubled over and vomited what little was in his stomach. The smell of it mixed with the nauseating air, threatening to make him throw up again, when all of a sudden, a shadow fell over the forest.

Gavin looked up, and his eyes met with a monster.

ねこまた nekomata

It was hard to discern in the pitch dark woods, but it must have been around 15-20 feet tall. The space around it rippled with what looked like dark, matted fur, two impossibly long, mangy tails danced behind it, and its drooling, slavering mouth held rotten, yellow teeth the size of small trees. A deafening buzzing noise could be heard near and around the monster, with Gavin realizing that this demon was shielded in a dark, undulating cloud of flies.

The worst part was it’s eyes.

Two soulless, pitch black holes, deep as an abandoned well, with two piercing pricks of bright, nuclear blue in their centers. The creatures gaze was blank, filled with nothing but hunger. Staring at Gavin like a bloody slab of steak. Like a tiny mouse in a trap.

It began to move towards him, calmly, and ever so casual. Gavin couldn’t cry out. All he could do was sit, stunned, in a rancid puddle of his own vomit. This can’t be real. God wouldn’t let this happen. At that moment, he realized that he had lost his rosary. The monster drew closer, until it’s head was just inches away from Gavin’s, it’s breath blowing into his face. He noticed large chunks of rotting flesh festering between it’s teeth, being fed on and burrowed into by the army of insects surrounding the creature.

I guess that explains the smell…

Gavin was frozen. He wished he had a weapon, wished he could attack the thing waiting in front of him. He wished he could move, so maybe he could try to escape. But instead, he was still as a stone, unable to do anything. How many times have you been in this position?

Gavin tried to brace himself for his death as the monsters mouth began to open. He waited to feel claws to rival his monster movies on his body, cracking his bones in half. He waited to feel teeth ripping his skin away from his muscles. He waited for the feeling of bodily fluids mixing and flowing and filling his lungs and his eyes and smothering him.

It never came. Maybe it would’ve been better than what followed.

Instead of devouring Gavin and leaving his bones for a stray dog to chew on, the monsters eyes rolled back into its head, and it’s face began to split down the middle. A viscous black liquid gushed out of the seams.

It almost looked like motor oil.

Gavin almost gagged as the creatures face slowly tore apart and peeled away, revealing a shiny white skull filled to the brim with millipedes. The oil-like substance dripped onto his clothes, further staining them, the black mixing with the red and green of the blood and vomit. One of the millipedes crawled out of the monsters gaping mouth and fell onto Gavin’s arm. He watched in horror as the insect burrowed into the gash on his hand. He could see it moving under his skin. He could feel it’s little legs poking at his muscles.

あなた以外に神はいない

do you understand?

Gavin promptly blacked out.

The next morning, at the end of Maple Street, the sun shone through the small yellow house’s windows. The birds were singing, and the paper boy was making his rounds as if nothing had happened, nothing at all. The calendar read October 16th, 1963. A certain young man’s 18th birthday.

Gavin woke up, at home, in his own bed, with his mind full of fog and the worst headache you can imagine. It felt like a jackhammer was being drilled into his brain.

Was it all… a horrible dream?

His jacket and t-shirt were lying on the floor next to his bed, but his jeans were still on. I need to stop sleeping in my clothes.

His side hurt. His hands hurt. It's nothing. I probably just fell, maybe cut myself on one of Mother's beer bottles...

As he rolled out of bed to get a shirt on, he noticed his drawings, rather than being scattered across the floor, were stacked up next to his desk. Looking through them, he saw they were all of shadowy, grey cats.

"Ugh..." He wondered if he'd been drinking, and that was why his head hurt so bad. Never mind that he didn't drink. That was his mother's habit. It's just that there was no other way to explain what had happened the night before.

Speaking of which...

"Gavin. Get down here. We need to talk."

A "Happy Birthday" would've been nice.

Ambling down the stairs, Gavin braced himself. Did she find out where he'd been, somehow? That would mean he'd actually ended up going, and the events of last night had actually played out. He wasn't ready to accept that truth.

His mother met his face, standing in the middle of their glass covered living room floor, which no one bothered to clean up. Her auburn hair looked like it hadn't been combed in weeks and her green sweater was covered in stains. She looked like she hadn't slept a day in her life.

"The sherrif found your motorcycle down by the outskirts of town, and your little girlfriend wouldn't say anything, but she seemed pretty damn shaken. Is there anything you'd like to say for yourself?"

no... it was a nightmare... nothing more...

"I don't know what you're talking about."

under his skin, something moved.

"Oh, i think you do. For eighteen years now, i've fed you, clothed you, provided for you and the ONLY THING i've asked in return is for you to STAY AWAY FROM THE WOODS. This is how you thank me? For EVERYTHING IVE EVER DONE FOR YOU?"

The woman was livid, blue eyes burning with rage, face locked in a snarl. She grabbed Gavin by the hair and pulled his face up close by hers. There was a distinct stench of alcohol on her breath. He'd heard this song before, many times over.

"You were looking for your father, weren't you."

He felt something running down his scalp. Blood? Something more viscous, perhaps? Motor oil?

Your father is dead. Maybe the "evil spirits" in those awful stories he told you did him in. At any rate, it doesn't matter anymore. Go into the woods if you want, because you're not welcome in my house anymore. If you want to be like your father, then be like him. Leave. Don't ever come back."

"Mama-"

"JUST GO!" The woman threw her son backwards, landing hard with a sickening CRUNCH into the floor's coating of broken glass and booze bottles. His mother's sorrow would find yet another way to hurt him, he thought, as he felt the shards dig into his back. This was it. Gavin would need to find someplace else to go. Wincing as he got up, blood rushing down his back, he limped back upstairs, grabbed his jacket and was just about to leave before he noticed several full beer bottles from her mom's stash. Nothing left to lose...

His mom couldn’t punish him for anything anymore. It was oddly freeing. He took a couple bottles and stowed them away. With everything he needed stored in his bag, there was one more place he figured he could try. If it didn't work, he would have to find someplace else.

Valley had spent the entire day up until that point talking to the police. They wouldn't get anything out of her, she didn't even know what had happened herself. Besides, everyone in town knew that these investigations were for show anyways. No one ever came out of the woods, and after a while, everyone forgot. Valley would have to as well.

At that moment, lying on her blue silk sheets, the doorbell rang.

"Listen Officer, i already told you i haven't got anything for you-"

Her eyes met not with a blue clad member of the force, but with a ghost. If possible, Gavin looked even worse than he did the night before, when she watched him jump the forbidden fence like a man possessed, seemingly sealing his fate. His clothes were covered in bloodstains, some looking old, some looking new. Valley couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"H-how? You’re not... no one is supposed to... I saw..."

"Hey again, Val."

How could he just show up on her doorstep like nothing happened at all? This wasn't how these cases were supposed to go. The posters would stay up for a while until they got taken down, and no one would ever talk about the missing person again. Maybe it was messed up, but that’s how it had always been.

"Gavin, i can't believe you're..."

"Alive? Yeah... i'm having some trouble believing that too."

Valley rubbed her temple and sighed. It was obvious she was very stressed. And why shouldn't she be? Her boyfriend of almost a year had seemingly gotten himself killed right in front of her, she'd spent the entire day talking to the cops about the incident, and now he'd showed up on her doorstep out of nowhere? Maybe it'd have been better if he hadn't come back at all. Maybe he should've just stayed gone. All he ever did was hurt others anyway...

Valley looked up, finally. "Okay, what do you-" Nothing. He'd already gone. It was like he hadn't even been there to begin with.

I’m such an idiot.

Val walked back upstairs to her room, flopped down onto her expensive silk sheets and screamed into her pillow. “That fucking ASSHOLE! How could he be so casual about this? I thought he died!! And now he leaves me all over again, with no explanation??” Valley was tired. This wasn’t the first stupid thing Gavin had pulled, and now he was crossing into genuinely dangerous territory. “That’s it. I’m done. I don’t need to worry about him anymore. Let him go back into that forest. See if I care.”

She decided it would be best to try to go to sleep, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

“You wouldn’t actually go back there… would you?”

Meanwhile, Gavin knew he needed to find his motorcycle. It could have either been taken by the police, or it was still out there by the woods. Somehow he doubted the cops had touched it. There was probably yellow tape around it or something. He didn't want to go back to the forest, but somehow, some way, he knew he had to.

His hand itched, and there was still something squirming beneath his skin. It felt like it was trying to get out. To go back into the forest, and take him with it.

Was he marked?

At that moment, Gavin remembered the bottles he’d taken from his house, if he could call it that anymore.

Maybe it could help me get my courage back.

He took one swig, then another. The first drink was awful. It tasted like hatred and burned his throat, but he kept forcing it down, because he was desperate to feel SOMETHING. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea…

He kept going anyways.

After a while, it started to get better. Or maybe this was what being drunk was like. Before he knew, he'd burned through nearly half of the bottles he'd stolen, and each sip sent fire down his throat, burning away his inhibitions. How did i never try this? How do people not do this every day? His head swam and his thoughts blurred, and all he knew was that he felt good, and that a new chapter of his life was about to begin.

Follow me.

A voice rang out from seemingly nowhere in particular, taking his hand, dragging him along for the ride. Whatever was under his skin felt like it was trying to tear it’s way out and lead him to the woods. Maybe he was marked. Marked for this journey.

Follow. I know what you’re looking for. I can take you there. You’re going to see something beautiful…

And what else could he do? The alcohol in his system was preventing him from thinking straight anyways. Gavin felt himself almost being pulled forward by some external, seemingly invisible force. He felt fur all around him. It was almost nice. Comfortable. He could hear disjointed voices, seeming far away.

“Hey, isn’t that…” “It can’t be. He should be dead...” “They never come back.” “Is he okay?”

Pay them no mind… we’ll be here soon.

Two glowing blue pinpricks. Jack o lanterns outside of cookie cutter houses. Follow the lights. This is your destiny.

Destiny?

Gavin had never thought of destiny before. When he found his motorcycle, that felt like destiny. When he started dating Valley, that felt like destiny.

I guess none of that matters now.

Everything itched.

Suddenly, he was back by the fence, in the outskirts of town. Didn’t it usually take longer to get here, especially by foot?

There was a hole in the fence, seemingly cut out just for him. Did I do that? And right in front of it, there it was.

His motorcycle. It hadn’t been moved since the night before.

There was a path slicing through the forest. He didn’t remember that from the last time he was there.

The bike was fueled up and ready for him. Gavin knew what had to be done. Whether or not this was real or an alcohol induced haze didn’t matter to him. Getting on the bike and finding out what was on the other side of those woods was all that mattered.

Any horrible monsters or demons be damned.

He revved up the motorcycle and back through the woods he went, and with his inhibitions drowned out of his body, Gavin could finally see how pretty it was out there. The almost supernatural blues and greens of the tree leaves complimenting the pearlescent bark. He could see the shadows of impossibly large creatures rustling behind the trees. This time, the atmosphere of the woods felt less like a warning and more like a new beginning. But sometimes, new beginnings can be just as terrifying.

He didn’t see the cat until he’d already hit it. He’d been swerving through the path, and had come pretty close to a crash several times over, just barely missing any stray trees or rocks. However, his drunken reflexes weren’t going to be enough to save him for long.

A jingling bell. Glowing, fearful blue eyes on gray fur. A animals shriek. A thud, a splat, and a swerve. Too late. The damage had been done, and both the bike and the boy were thrown aside by something that seemed far larger than a roadkill cat. Something that threw them a long way before they landed, and they landed hard on what seemed like pavement. why would there be pavement way out here in this forest?

Gavin skid across the ground, feeling something pop out of his face theysaidmyeyesweresobeautiful, well, what was left of his face, as he felt his skin scraping off the side of his body pleasemommyitburnsitburns, and as he felt the shattering of bones upon impact that’smorethanjustmyhipisn’tit and the broken glass shards embedding in his flesh feelslikehome, it all came to him. It came to him as he realized his bike was pinning him to the ground, as he felt his limbs bend the wrong way, as blood and piss and oil flowed from seemingly every opening on his body.

I guess this is it. I’m dying.

I didn’t even get to see what was on the other side.

Was there even anything on the other side?

Was this what happened to Father?

I can feel the glass in my back.

All I am is glass. I want to go home.

I want to see Mother. God, maybe, if I’m lucky. Something tells me if I’m not lucky.

招き猫 maneki-neko

All I am is glass.

The last things Gavin heard as the black washed over him were a pained, stilted meow, a blood gurgle (my first victim’s? my own?), and the skittering of something crawling out of the cavity where his eye used to be.

all for nothing…

all for...

Fur. Fur, all around him. Again. He was beginning to get sick of this feeling. Or was it becoming comfortable? He didn’t know. The feeling reminded him of his mother’s old habits. Not like he had any time to dwell on her, because the moment he opened his remaining eye, he was met with a massive feline skull, seemingly coming out of and from the darkness around him, with two blue pinpricks for eyes.

Welcome, old friend.

I know your voice. Who are you?

That doesn’t matter. You want to get out of here, don’t you?

Yes. I never got to see… I never got to see what was…

I can do that for you. I can bring you back. I can get you out.

How?

A massive paw with claws like butcher knives materialized in front of him. What was the saying? Don’t deal with the devil?

Was this even the devil? Or was this something else entirely?

Take my hand. Your transformation will come with pain and hardship, but it will help the both of us. I promise.

Gavin didn’t want this to be for nothing. He didn’t want to go back into the darkness. He really didn’t.

You don’t have to. You can always just stay where you are. Forever.

His journey, his pain, his losses, his discoveries. He wanted to know where it all would lead.

What is your final decision, old friend?

He needed to know.

He put out his hand, hesitated for a moment, and then forcefully connected it with the gargantuan paw splayed out before him. No going back now.

So it shall be. Thank you, Gavin.

The gray fur melted around him and gathered into his hand. It began to spread and grow from there, covering each inch of his body. His arms, his legs, his torso, his face. It blinded him, and as he lost his senses one by one, he felt it flow into the cavernous empty eye socket left by his recklessness.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But satisfaction brought it back.

After hours, or days, I can’t tell anymore, Gavin woke up changed, someplace else. Everything hurt. He felt like every part of his body was bleeding. His injuries might have healed by some supernatural force, but it sure didn’t feel that way.

He opened his eye and the first thing that struck him was that instead of a forest, he was met with a sprawling junkyard, filled to the brim with piles of garbage as tall as buildings, against a stark red sky. An all manner of dilapidated mechanical gadgets. People’s weeks-old trash. Horrible smelling organic matter that Gavin didn’t want to look at or even think about. Salvage heaven? He couldn’t tell, but it felt like everything anyone had every thrown away ended up here.

Have I been thrown away, too?

Gavin attempted to get his bearings and try and survey his new surroundings, but every move he made felt like a thousand knives as hot as the sun were being inserted into his flesh. He knew he had to do SOMETHING, though.

I need to see what happened to my body. I need to see the results of this “transformation.”

There was a reflective pool of a familiar black, viscous liquid seemingly a few feet away from him, his estimate as his depth perception had all but disappeared. Maybe that would work. Abandoning all dignity he might’ve still kept at this point, he put his death-razed arms out in front of him and dragged himself to his goal.

Is this what I’ve come to? Is this the culmination of all my 18 years of life? I never even saw my senior prom.

Gavin would see something else, however. Mustering up all his strength, he made it to the metallic puddle and attempted to stand. A thousand sickening cracking noises resonated out of his body, as if he was 81 rather than 18. The pain was so unbearable he almost puked his literal guts out into the looking glass puddle he’d just worked so hard to reach.

However, what he saw in it made him hurt in a different way. He didn’t know whether or not it was worse than the pain of all the injuries he’d agreed to endure. Whatever I just struck a pact with must not have been powerful enough to get rid of any pain I might be feeling, even if I’m now able to live through it.

Before him was a face he didn’t recognize, a face he might’ve expected from the horror movies he used to sneak out to see. His skin appeared ash white, like all of his blood had drained from his body. The skin he had left, anyways, as the right side of his body, the side he’d landed on after the accident, had barely any at all. He’d never really thought of what human muscles looked like underneath skin, but now was as good a time as ever to find out. If he could even still be classified as “human”. His teeth were an odd red color and had seemingly all been replaced by canine incisors, giving him a terribly offputting grin on top of everything else concerning his new appearance that might scare a person off.

His jacket sleeve was completely torn away, his black pants ripped to shreds, and his hair had turned that same familiar shade of gray, with no trace of the brown his loved ones had run their fingers through. His remaining eye was glassy and pale, with a jaundiced yellow look to it, and the cavity where his other eye used to be was so badly shredded that some of the bone could be seen. His eyelid seemed to have suffered the same fate, leaving the gaping hole in his head open for all to stare at and wonder about. His limbs had grown bushy, tangled gray fur, and at his fingertips were retractable, cat-like claws.

The most noticeable new features, however, were marked by new weight at his back and on the sides of his head. Two large, alien looking, cat-like ears had grown over Gavin’s old human ears, with lumps in places were imperfections seem to have occurred. His right ear was deformed and stunted, seemingly due to the damage he had suffered in that area. It gave him the look of a stray cat that lost the tip of it’s ear in some kind of turf war. And at his lower back danced two long, ratty, almost mangy gray tails. They seemed somewhat non-Euclidean, appearing longer and shorter depending on where you looked at them, and adorning them were two concerning markings that looked a bit like teeth.

As the boy stared into his reflection, the heavy realization settled over him like a wet cotton blanket. The old Gavin, the one that had listened to his fathers folktales and eaten at the local diner and gotten into fights at school and drawn on his arms and snuck his girlfriend into movies, was dead. He had died in an accident in the forest like so many others before him, and his replacement was this ungodly chimaera-like creature.

For the first time since he was in elementary school, Gavin knelt to the ground, threw his gaze to the red, smog-filled sky, and let himself cry. Heaving, painful sobs. The culmination of all of his life’s mistakes. No one would be there to see him, anyways.

Who’s going to love me, looking like this?

Will God forgive me for becoming something so unholy?

Was any of this even worth it?

A familiar voice rang out inside his head. Something told him that this was where it lived now.

You’re not ungodly, my disciple. In fact, you are far from it. You came back from the dead, something many saints couldn’t accomplish. There’s something divine in that, is there not?

Is that who you are? Are you God?

Laughter. And with that, the voice in his head, in his heart, went dormant.

Gavin strained and threw up a little, but managed to get up. Looking around the endless expanse of the junkyard, he noticed something, standing out from the rest of the wreckage.

A cherry-red Mustang convertible, smeared with long-dried blood. Laying next to it, a page out of fairly recent looking calendar, with the date reading April 14th, 2163.

Suddenly, the junkyard didn’t seem so endless anymore. Gavin could see what looked like a cityscape in the distance. Mustering up all the strength he could, he began to walk.

I guess this is my new beginning.

For a brief moment, the spirit’s voice came back into his head.

あなた以外に神はいない

There is no god but you.

A young girl tacks a missing persons poster to a telephone pole. What have you seen? What have you found?

Would she ever find out? Who else did?

the end LMAO ✌🏻 I hope you liked this I worked my ass off on it. If you didn’t that’s okay!! I’m not sure if I like it, either!! But at least it’s done. YIPPEE. Now go drink some water.

#actual sugar post #beetle writes #first time trying something like this #hope you enjoy #I am NOT an experienced Writer i am SO SORRY #sugars ocs #gavin #long post #writing #original writing #original story #oc story #original characters #original work #original fiction #fantasy story #oc #my oc #original character #horror story #horror writing #horror #horror oc #yokai #idk #gore cw #death cw #alchohol tw #insect cw #abuse ment tw

[icedhoneyy]

I’m glad I got the reaction I was looking for with baby miya II. I checked my phone after work v e r y pleased. 🌝💅🏼

I LOVED DOINF THE UNCLE IDEAS WITH YOU AND WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN SOON MWAH MWAH MWAH❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

YOU TOTALLY DID!!! I AUDIBLY GASPED WHEN I READ THAT!!!! god i'm so in love with the miyas, emmy 😭😭😭 they're everything to meeee

AND HELLO YES LETS!! I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT VOLLEYBABEZ AS UNCLES!! We even have CANON uncles, like Semi Semi and Tendou are total simps for Reons bby girl, i know bc furudate told me! But sadly for them, baby Ohira has a fave and its uncle Wakatoshi 🥺❤

And in my mind, the story of how tendo got his buzzcut directly relates with the story of how he got banned from babysitting AND got labeled as a fire hazard by the miyagi fire department, all on the same day.

#i have too many uncle hq and its ALL your fault #but I LOVE we both freaking out about it together #we SHOULD do oit again #anytime u want bby just summon me #🌼✉.beehive mail #🌼.from the hive: [ emmyrosee ] #🍯💛. bee's knees: [ emmy♡ ]

[cottoncandiesss]

AWWWW 🩷🩷 first u don’t need to feel bad because i’m spamming you either way i thought you were dead once i still spammed you there is not a possible way to respond SECOND… giggles… THIRD see keysmashes is a valuable currency it shows that u r even responding.. many poepl just either don’t respond or say something weird NSJGNNTKDUEHTH all i wish is that u would text first sometimes 😔😔 to me i prefer if people spam me with every through they have bc at least they thought to meeee

HSHDJSJXJD HELPPP but YA glad our silly keysmashes are ok <3 we're trying to work on tht but our brain goes insane sometimes SO - an

#💌 ; asks! #☆ ; oxxyx

[un2poken]

Love Addiction

A condition that causes a person to develop an unhealthy and obsessive fixation with a love interest.

Looking back on my life and taking time to reflect, clearing my head and processing decisions over the years I'm brought back to this every time. "Love addiction" like what, you're addicted to being in love, who isn't.. It's deeper than that, the feeling of being wanted or needed by someone drove me to make poor decisions in my life with partners, friends, and even family.

What caused that...was it:

The abuse

Parents fighting, and verbally abusive

Being raised in a separate house than my sisters

The way my family talked to me

Neglected in my childhood

Friends that truly didn't like me

Wanting to be accepted by family or peers

Never experiencing love

Maybe all of the above honestly

Where do I stand now..confused, trying to find myself in life before it gets too late and I'm stuck in this cycle, constantly ripping my tainted heart out of my chest and handing it to the next person.

I envision in my head, a young man, sitting on the ground with his head down and palms raised. He is well dressed, clear skin, and groomed. From his back you can see there is a hole that pierces all the way through to the front where his heart should be. Many have come and tried to fill the hole with their own hearts. Sacrificing their happiness for his and getting none in return. After some time spent with their hearts the space gets larger, more demanding. Never fully satisfied, as this love addiction continues to consume him.

I found a woman that has an overwhelming heart and love that is unfathomable but I'm trying figure it out. She has placed me in a need to know mindset...like how do you love in the way that you do. A bit of regret fills my mind because I took her innocence for granted thinking it was just another game from another woman. Things that she would say to me she felt as though it was one of a kind and I had heard all of the lies before from previous women. For her she was being real, but to me, I saw it as a persona, so I played the game as I do. I was waiting, waiting for the day she would say "boom, I fooled you" and I would respond with "oh no you got meeee" when in reality I knew it all along.

Days turned into weeks, months began to feel longer and over time it was becoming more and more convincing. Every time when I felt myself believing her I just thought "keep your guard up it's coming". A bit of self sabotaging if you will. The love just got stronger and those words she spoke to me at the beginning were still present and being shown with greater affection as the days continued.

Fast forward to where it all got me...

Alone.

Hurt people hurt people and there is no truer saying.

A happy spirited, loving, beautiful soul was hurt by me. The heart broken, self sabotaging, narcissistic loser. She told me that when she first laid eyes on me she knew who I was, she saw through everything, the innocence, the happiness, the child in me that wanted to be loved. Did I see it? I was trying for years not to, I always said that side of me was dead, I'll never love a soul and put my heart on the line again. I thought I was protecting myself and in reality I was only making things worse. Making my need for love stronger, to the point where it became an unhealthy addiction.

Who is it that you want to be...A lover or an abuser?

In all honesty I've always wanted to be a lover. The first time I spoke to her I started to envision my life with her. Thoughts of how nice it would be to wake up to her every morning and give her all of my love. Morning forehead kisses mixed with the sweet smell of breakfast and the sounds of r&b playing to start our day. Lunch time walks and cafe stops in the city sitting under the sun. Hands intertwined as we swing our arms back in forth laughing and smiling without a care in the world. Nights with candle lit dinners in the house as we talk about how we met. That's the life I always envisioned with her. So I tried to show it as much as I could the short time we were together.

I really saw that but my judgment clouded my vision like cataracts.

But now I see her and I see what she wants, but it's too late, she's gone and I'm alone...how you wanted right? No. You wanted to be hated before you ever get hurt again, right? No. But you said that, those were your fucking words? No. You said that you never wanted to give your heart to anyone and all girls are the same, telling lies and getting what they want from a guy and then they show who they really are and you felt she was doing the same, RIGHT? No, I mean yeh but it was different. So why didn't you treat her different, why did you wait to hurt her to give her the innocent you? Idk. Surely you do, you seem to know everything. I was messed up ok. No you weren't messed up, you still are, you can't change who you are. Yes I can and I am, just leave me alone. Yeh that seems to be the only thing you do well, being alone...

Communicate to her. Communicate what? You know..what you see in her..For what it's no use, it's over..Well you got nothing to lose now do you, say it..okay..

When you saw my true identity, after time I started to see yours. You were tired, tired of fake, looking for something real. You have always had eyes on you, popular, wanted by everyone, but untouchable. You could get anything you wanted from any man but that's not what you wanted. Everyone has always bowed down to get your attention but were too shallow for what you wanted to give. You wanted real, genuine, love, from someone that has never given it to anyone else. Someone that would hold you closer to their heart and protect yours. A provider, someone to lead you the right way. When you are overwhelmed and you're down on your luck, ready to quit, somebody to pick you up and brush the dirt off of you and put an immediate smile on your face and say "you got this". When you are angry at the world and ready to explode on someone. You need someone that lets you yell at them, get out all your frustration to, and then puts you back in your place in a calm caring voice. You need someone that you know whole heartedly that when the world is against you, they are right there standing in front of you defending your honor.

Did you see that in me, I believe you did..

I'm afraid now that I have become apart of the crowd. Just another notification, a dm from a shallow minded individual, just another guy that can't handle what you have to offer...someone that's not real. What does that leave me to do? Prove you wrong..keep messaging you with the hopes to rekindle something I destroyed..count my losses and erase the memories and rewrite my future from scratch..honestly I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it out. I don't think it's a message I could write, a letter that I could send, a feeling that I could express, that would leave you saying something other than "boring, i've heard that before".

Where I'm at now...I stand in the middle of a field. Straight ahead is you, headed towards the sunset. With every step I take towards you, you take two steps away from me. When I stop I feel a pain in my chest, looking down I notice a chain wrapped around my heart that connects to yours. You look back at me and you are crying slow tears. But you are dragging your feet as to say, I'm not giving up on you but I need more.

But I'm just writing for the drafts, otherwise these thoughts would eat me alive. One of these days I'll reveal this to you, but for now they just sit here piling up on top of each other.

#spilled thoughts #i miss you #for you #life lesson #i love you

[tddyhyck]

I’M SORRY THIS IS LIKE 700 WORDS, i don’t know how to shut up 😭😭😭😭 ok first. i didn't mean to make u feel bad for not replying “quickly enough”, just got worried that i might’ve said something weird ejsjdkwjsa. i’m glad that was not the case, and i am sorry i projected my insecurities onto u and hurried u 😭 that said, ur replies brought much joy. 😌

i have not seen the recording yet 😭 i’ve barely been able to watch anything 😞 i’m sure u’re more than “okay” with it, wink wonk, and yes omg,, truly so nice. U’RE EVIL… the “you” was such an unnecessary attack, u knew what u were doing with that 😭😭 (unless u don’t nd i read too much into it, like i often do 🫶🤪) our fruity fighter 🥺 our fruity fighter protecting us 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 why r u getting me so soft for him!

re: renjun. change ur mind from what.. am i forgetting something 😭 i love this though 🥳 i was reading something the other day and it went like “do u like renjun? are u a masochist?” and aurgh that hit,, idk what it is about him but something about him is so !!!!!!! 🥵 CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE PATTERN… NGTAHGHHGBGRGGAABNHNHNN i’m so normal. that’s such a gigantic brain idea u have.

i screamed when i saw u say “i don’t make the rules but i will enforce them” because in a totally unrelated thought i was thinking yesterday about how i’m the type who may not make the rules but follows them (sfw thought LMFAO) and it was so amusing to read what u wrote. BUT YEAH U’RE SO RIGHT… normalise panty stuffing ‼️ 😠

u can change font size by selecting the text and going through the million options tumblr gives, the little <s> button 🥰 but wahhhh okay i’m glad 🥺❤️

NAURRR the anime lover in me thought of that too when trains got mentioned 😭😭 except like. a cute version of that, let’s say hjsgshrjba. jeno doing god’s work <3 thank u for sharing ur beautiful thought with the world though, the song hasn’t left my head LMAO i haven���t even heard it in… 8 years?!

RIIIIIIIGHT U GET MEEEE, “doing everything to make u cry” RIGHT RIGHT… so many thoughts. like he does it because it makes him hard (going with ur headcanon of him) but he also does it cus he just wants to be mean so bad at first and not let u think he’s nice or anything… taking out all his anger on poor u. then he makes u cry because he wants to convince himself that he’s not falling for u. then he finally admits he’s whipped for u and both of u are crying lmaoooo

“he’s all grown up and obnoxious and breaks my heart 😭😭” WHY IS THIS SENDING MEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the way u worded that is SO funny. also idk what u’re talking about because i read mean dom chenle in 2022 and i never went back to normal after that 💗🦋 i’m kidding, i get what u mean. he’s positively adorable in the best way. i keep having my dream phases every single year the past 4 years before i stop keeping up? (some context; i’m also rlly bad with consuming content from my favourite groups. more context; none of my friends are super into them so i just never get to Talk about them) but i feel i might finally be ready to commit 🤩 because i like this album so much and it made me feel A Lot.

re: lipgloss. that was NOT the image in my head but it is definitely an image i can work with 🤩🤩🤩🤩 he gives u a little kiss on the lips right after that.

thank uuuuu i’m doing okay 🥹 i hope u are too, and work isn’t being too tiring ❤️ (random but ur cousin post was so cute. u’re a nice cousin 😔 i hope ur cousin appreciates u! and they’re a funny little kid for the permission thing.)

~🪄

omg you didn’t rush me!! do not fret 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i hope u get to watch it soon it’s so good like one of my fav things is the recording bts jeno’s part ,,, was saur good ,, maybe i did add the you 🤭🤭

LOL i just meant if i thought of renjun and dumbification on a random afternoon i would be a changed person 🤭🤭 DO YOU LIKE RENJUN ARE U A MASOCHIST LMFAO,, those go hand in hand tbh thinking he has an album on his phone with just pics of your skin after some rope activities…

i miss him sm my little babie 🫳🫳🫳

omg anime lover i must know what you’re watching currently 🧐

oK but fwb!jeno who never gets mad so he keeps his anger all pent up and takes it out on you when you fuck,,, and it’s the best sex of your life lbr,,, like maybe he has a shit day at work and spilled his coffee and missed the bus and he texts you to link up and ,,, just ruins you GRRR but then he realizes he really goes over because you make him feel light and comfortable and it’s easy being with you,,, but he isn’t ready to admit it yet 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

he’s just annoying and pretty and obnoxious and talented and i want to enemies to lovers with him fr omg i know what you mean i have 1 kpop friend and she isn’t super into nct but she kinda keeps up for my sake but not to the point i do lol,,, def time to commit i am team commit to dream 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

he SO would smooch and pat you on the head 😵‍💫

work isn’t too bad! it’s our event season so a little busy but that’s better than being bored lol,, my cousin is so funny he’s 10 and i think he thinks i am too 🤣🤣

#tddyhyck ask #🪄<3

[livecharliereaction]

Ill probably make charumiq2 for next ep for easier navigation for meeee But yeah thats done now thats um aaahahahha

- bernkastel showed up i am so happy. YAY! So many mentions of this lambdadelta i kind of thought shed be satoko somehow but im not seeing it rn well see when she shows up

- i rly hope the witches wont stay as only ????? characters n get weaved into the main story but guess what im like 100% sure thatll happen at least somehow but i dont know how. Miss bern said shed help me YAYYY! So nice of her

- i can rly see what ppl mean when they say it starts slow though it wasnt a problem for me bcs i liked the characters in the family already but i can totally see it being a problem for someone else Bcs like i knew theres witches. So theres the whole "ooh u think itll be a regular murder mystery but its fantasy" "is there a 19th person ooh" Well that just doesnt happen at all. However smth ive been noticing about wtc that although theres always secrets and thus always reveals theres SO MANY mysteries that the story doesnt rly lose THAT much if u know smth (But its still important to me that i get to know things in the order the author wants me to like in general so spoilers r still being crazy avoided...)

- i had the theory that beatrice was very young when kinzo met her and was traumatized by his "love" and then died and her spirit is sort of haunting the mansion but its not entirely clicking what that would be so im ditching it for now

- i know tea party and ????? cant be taken tooooooooo seriously but theyre the main reason i dont think that anymore See Im kind of doubting the existence of a human beatrice altogether. Sure bernkastel was kinda rikaing around but it seems too complicated to compare it to that so no way

- I still cant forget lambdadelta sharing some resemblance to satoko (from the shit that i saw BEFORE i was avoiding spoilers Im talking very very slight like rly just hair n eye color) but i feel like we wont see her in the next ep at all. Im imagining (hoping) each ep might have a new witch in it. I cant imagine the gold thing going all the way through 8 eps so... (Bcos What riddle takes that long.)

- Favs r still maria and natsuhi from the human side at least Like that didnt change. And i doubt it would I also like jessica a lot i do

- motherhood goes crazy Natsuhi and Jessica i could die and also marias lack of motherly love rips me apart

- Im very curious about the physics of this though or i mean like What now? Are we going back in time? If so how much????? Im kinda imagining its just kinda similar all over again but with different sacrifices each time but the ways that can be done r hmm. Someone else might try to do as the epitaph says and thus killing people but yeah.

- Not to be battler but if ep1 were to actually be a humans doing itd be maria (u know) natsuhi (absolutely not sorry for even saying it queen but she was running around w the rifle and all and had a lot of control over some situations) or kinzo (its easiest to believe that corpse wasnt really Him out of the corpses The toe thing isnt convincing to me but theres the problem of Ok whose body is it charlie? and i wouldnt know)

- Excited and baffled it was 12 hrs i feel like i started it what maybe this week idfk School starts again so i have to slow down the pace but thats ok...

- I thought the role of "the witchs messenger" might change too but i kind of hope its just marias job each time i liked the way she did it shes so fun

- no clue abt the rules of this world yet but im excited bcs theyre spelling it out to Think about it so u know it wont be obvious I dont even think i Can make a good guess rn

- natsuhi save me

#charumi1

[s3plan]

ive had the “i should let myself have fun w being Fictional Guy bc whenever i think too hard abt it i get miserable” thought so many times & i never stick to it bc it kinda isnt fun paired w the fact that im convinced things r happening 2 meeee:3. i think the way i thought of it a few months ago was that ive never rlly had a steady sense of identity to begin with, and that there is comfort in letting yourself merge with a preexisting mold with defined traits so that you know How and What youre like, but when that mold is also quite empty, also clinging to something other as a defining factor of the self, that mold begins to crumble, the shell begins to crack. & i still stand by that, it becomes more true the more i think of it. sometimes i think theres nothing left of who ive been & sometimes i get the feeling im the same person after all. i think appearance is one of the few things i do let myself actually have fun with, ppl see it i feel seen they let me know i exist even if only as the shell we’re symbiotically obsessed with

[mandoalorian]

This is super random but I got onto thinking about pet names the boys might call you? Terms of endearment? Sorry it's not a fic request I was just curious what you thought.

Terms of Endearment

Hehe okay thank you for the request! This was kinda hard but even still it was fun :) ... sorry it took so long to get out but there’s only so many nicknames/pet names out thereeee. Tell me what your fave ones are!! 💓 this is also super subjective so if your opinion differs from mine tell meeee and we can discuss! 🥺

Din Djarin

I need to brush up on my Mando’a but ‘mesh’la’ (beautiful) and ‘cyar’ika’ (sweetheart). I’m sorry I know that’s an obvious one but I couldn’t really go for anything else.

Javier Peña

Javier is Spanish and I’m not fluent in that language but I do remember from school that ‘cariño’ roughly translates to darling/dear. And that just sounds really cute and I can definitely imagine him calling you that. Also ‘beautiful’.

Jack Daniels

Oh my god. Things like ‘cutie pie’, ‘pumpkin’, ‘cupcake’, ‘sugar’, ‘darlin’’. Think of food... and sweet treats. He’d name you after those and it would fit him so well with that thick Southern accent.

Ezra Prospect

Ezra is so articulate, he literally speaks in cursive and my brain cannot comprehend that. But maybe like ‘honey’ or ‘moonshine’ or... ‘darlin’’ because that southern accent again!

Oberyn Martell

‘Angel’, or like... I wanna say ‘dove’ but that’s ONLY because Dove by @honeymandos lives rent free in my mind and that’s what he calls the reader. It’s so good you should all definitely read it.

Frankie Morales

He’d call you ‘love’ or ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey’. Especially in the mornings when he just wakes up and nuzzles his nose into your neck. And his voice is kinda gruff and he whispers “good morning” and then one of those nicknames!

Max Phillips

I hate this but he’d call you ‘sexy’. Any pet names he’d have for you wouldn’t be sweet or romantic. They’d be to do with your appearance. That doesn’t mean Max can’t be sweet or romantic. He just doesn’t show it through his pet names.

Maxwell Lord

Hmmm. Maybe ‘doll’, or ‘my treasure’. He’d be like “be a doll and fetch me a cup of coffee”. The inner Max Lord simp in me would want him to call me ‘princess’ tehehe that’s cute. My knees would go weak I think I’d faint just a bit.

Dave York

No. He’d just call you by your name. Your FULL name. Sike! Dave York would call you ‘babe’ or ‘baby’. OR ‘babygirl’. Oh to be called one of those names by Dave York. I’m yearning.

Pero Tovar

Tovar grabs you by the collar and growls ‘mine’ in your ear. That man is feral. F E R A L. That’s what he calls you. He’s possessive and he wants everyone to know that you’re his. You belong to him. His native language is Spanish though so he’d most likely use Spanish terms of endearment.

Dio

I don’t even knooow. Something scary I can imagine. But if you’re dating Dio you’re probably into that. He would never admit to it but I think Dio would looove it if you called him “baby”. He’d straight up be blushing.

Marcus Pike

‘Babycakes’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘sunshine’... the list goes on. Every nickname ever. Especially the sweet and wholesome ones. Marcus Pike is the kinda guy who saves your number into his phone and writes your contact name as ‘wife’.

Permanent taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!):  @supernaturalgirl666 @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #maxwell lord #din djarin #the mandalorian #agent whiskey #frankie morales #oberyn martell #dio nypd blue #max phillips #ezra prospect #pero tovar #dave york #javier peña #request

[not-a-christmas-tree]

i watched the dallas theater company les mis and here are my observations part TWO

i recently watched a modern adaptation of les mis from 2014! i took hella notes bc les mis being set in modern day has a LOT MORE than you would think! i just posted my act one notes, so here are the ones from act two. enjoy! :D

ACT TWO

(Building The Barricade)

oh javert,,,you and your red beret-scarf combo

everyone shakes hands the same way?? they all like. half bro hug. young people ig 🤷‍♀️ 

oh on my own is gonna hurt me huh

éponine has her hands up when she goes to take the letter to cosette that’s an interesting take

jvj looks so done lmao “really bruh just give me the letter i’ll give it to cosette it’s FINE”

omg first time i’ve ever seen éponine not take the money after the letter!! that actually makes so much sense bc she doesn’t take marius’ money when he asks her to find cosette’s house either. that,,,yes that’s good

the modern era begs the question... why didn’t marius just ask for cosette’s number?? i’d assume it’s just a thing that jvj doesn’t allow her to have a phone bc The Cops, but. maybe marius and cosette are the straight version of cottagecore lesbians they just write letters for ~The Aesthetic~

(On My Own)

i was right on my own was gonna hurt me

first time i’ve ever seen an éponine disguise where she actually passes as a boy lmao 

FINALLY A VERSION OF OMO WHERE ITS NOT JUST FORLORN SELF-CARESSING THANK YOU

surprisingly i have less notes here that’s fun i thought i’d have more

(Javert at the Barricades)

WOAHHHHH THEY DID NOT SKIMP ON BARRICADE SET PIECES THAT SHIT IS COOOOOL

oh the barricade scenes are already hitting too hard 

cops are in riot gear cops. are in. riot gear.

oh the javert spy thing that also hits funny because obviously

gavroche is armed with a bat i love you son

FULL VERSION OF LITTLE PEOPLE AT THE BARRICADE AYEEEEE

(A Little Fall Of Rain)

wait hold on why is marius not,,,singing to éponine on “why have you come back here?” he’s like. scolding someone,,, huh??

oh enj goes to help marius with ép!! and he calls over who i assume would be joly i STAN

MARIUS CRIES AFTER ÉP DIES KILL MEEEE

(The First Attack)

i like how jvj does the second confrontation here. he looks less angry and more like,,,compassionate and that MAKES SENSE bc yk. he’s telling javert he’s wrong but he’s not doing it out of spite he’s doing it bc this guy NEEDS to know what he does as a cop and realize that being a cop isn’t just enforcing rules, and it never was just that. 

i do love the exasperated “gO” from jvj that’s kinda great ngl

(Drink With Me)

i’m very sad that there won’t be any exr from these boys

v e r y sad here

i do see grantaire looking PRETTY sad though

bold of y’all to assume that the modern day amis would all be straight

okay i can tell that grantaire really is going hard on the Existential Singing like,,,sure he’s just standing there but like. damn bro

SO THERE A R E LADIES ON THE BARRICADE WHY TF ARENT THEY FIGHTING

BETTER SEE SOME CHANGE THERE

i just realized that the cockades are buttons that is the BEST

(Bring Him Home)

jvj actually looks kinda happy in BHH and tbh i kinda like it?? it’s only on the “he’s like the son i might have known” line but i like it

oh those vowels oh boy they TALL

(The Final Battle)

enjolras is for some reason, still angry...why...why bro....

the staging for gavroche’s death is INTERESTING bc he’s reaching up at the sniper on the tower. hm. i dont hate it

OH SOMEONE ON THE BARRICADE IS RECORDING I THINK!!! GOOD ADDITION!!

i can’t imagine how many blood packs they went through 

oh enjolras’s death okay so. he’s in a like. No Man’s Land almost, and the riot cops come in after him. it’s an interesting take because it almost mirrors the scene in the book, except obvs grantaire isn’t here. they also have an added scene after he dies where cops are checking out and using radios that is. that is EERIE.

jvj walks over to enjolras’s body 🥺

HE ALSO FUCKIN S C R E A M S WHEN HE SEES MARIUS ON THE GROUND GODDAMN MAN O U C H

thenardier steals combeferre’s glasses wow thanks for that added pain

thenardier and jvj have a mini fight oh that’s kinda cool hm

(Javert’s Soliliquy)

javert opens his soliloquy with some SPICY SADNESS OH B O Y he sounds broken already!! start strong!!

emotions go broken - anger - confusion? - mAJOR confusion - hopelessness 

javert can FLY! no legit he’s on ropes

(Turning)

turning is. turning is almost a funeral. 

OH THEYRE N U N S !

nuns are visiting the barricade 🥺 

OH DAMN “what’s the use of praying if there’s nobody who hears?” THAT CERTAINLY HAS WEIGHT NOW THAT THEY ARE N U N S

it has just occurred to me that people have been dead on the floor for like. a solid five minutes 

(Empty Chairs At Empty Tables)

“now my friends. are dead. and gone” he pauses like he’s realizing it just then oh OUCHIE

wait is marius,,,at the barricades? is he legit singing to his friends dead bodies? oh shit oh NO

OH N O OH NONONO THIS IS WORSE

THE BARRICADE BOYS RISE UP FROM THE FLOOR OH N O OUCH OUCH

they group up and salute him and wALK OFF NO OWWWW

*cosette and marius kiss* jvj: *COUGH COUGH*

marius and valjean’s lil conversation is interesting in the way valjean seems to ask marius “who am i?” rather than ask himself. he phrases it in a way that makes me think he’s like. quizzing marius lmao 

(The Wedding)

omg i think baby cosette and éponine are flower girls 🥺🥺

“go away thenardier” *madame mouths ‘dammit!’*

thenardier your boat shoes hurt me

madame: “get up! get up!” thenardier: “stop—STOP IT!” 

TWO GUYS ARE DANCING TOGETHER AND WAVE AT THENARDIER ON “this ones a queer, but what can you do”

yeah i think i found my new favorite thenardiers thank you dallas theater company

fantine sits on the bench when cosette comes by, cosette sits on bench next to her, and fantine tries to touch her but can’t 🥺

jvj just gave a hand-over-heart head nod to cosette but fantine gave it back i,,,ouch

ENJOLRAS AND GAVROCHE ARE WITH FANTINE AND ÉPONINE FOR JVJ’S DEATH

the chain gang is in the epilogue i repeat the cHAIN GANG IS IN THE EPILOGUE

the orchestra rests on the last “say do you hear the distant drums” and that was the coolest thing i’ve ever heard

that final harmony is MONEYYYY and i want to cry

OVERALL NOTES:

this javert has the most interesting interpretation because up until his FINAL SCENE he is the stone cold police officer, and he plays it SO WELL. like i have never been truly angry at a javert up until this guy, and whether that was because it was modern and resonates A LOT in 2020 or he just looks like a cop i want to punch, I DON’T KNOW but he plays it SO WELL and i love it so much!!

these thenardiers are the fucking BEST NGL they are the perfect mix of funny and cruel. madame t is also funny as HELL and i wish i had her talent lmao

i said it before but the police costumes in this show are. woosh. kudos to the costumer i took one look at those guys and was like “haha, no!.” vaguely related to that, i think this was the first time i nearly cried at Look Down like. the first song at the show, simply because of the convict getting the SHIT beat out of him on the floor. that hurt me and i hate that it is completely accurate to what happens in prisons today.

lovely ladies was,,,a LOT and tbh, i feel like it didn’t need to be. obviously it does show how horrible it is for sex workers, but that is why the music is there. the music and lyrics is there to tell what you don’t show visually. (though i do love the male prostitute lmao he took no shit)

i also said this before but the fact that there wasn’t bigger of a relationship between enjolras and grantaire kind of annoys me simply because they are revolutionaries in the present day. you can’t tell me that ALL OF THEM WERE STRAIGHT. with how many people i know now that identify under the queer and trans umbrella, and also how queer they are (to me) in the brick, the absence of any exr in a modern interpretation hurts a little.

in conclusion, this show was fucking FANTASTIC and even though i’m six years late, it still resonates hard given the time we live in today. i think i nearly screamed when i saw the cops in riot gear on the barricade because that is LITERALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. this just reminds me how timeless the story of les mis is because you had to change LITERALLY NOTHING from the story to make it make sense in the modern age, and that is really the lesson you should learn from les mis; these things happen everywhere, and they need to be fixed. 

thank you for listening to my rambling, i am sure i forgot something because there was just so damn much but i hope you enjoyed otherwise! not-a christmas-tree out! :)

#les mis #les miserables #les amis #les amis de l'abc #dallas theater company #jean valjean #javert #fantine #cosette #marius #enjolras #grantaire

[catbotbrian-archive]

PLEASE tell us about scenepunk partyghoul

you do not know what you have askd for. i have so many thoughts. you are getting an entire not!fic/fic outline here (also its 4am prepare fr typos this took so long to write my wrists hurt)(also put it under a cut bc it got LONG)

so basically it started with me Hating the pastelxpunk trope and making it Better. that is not important context but i also want it to be known

party is. Obnoxiously scene. they can and will pretend it is still 2007. the world past 2012 does not exist in their eyes. absolute king of kandi bracelets and neons you WILL get a headache from looking at them. they are the reason their school changed the rules about what hairstyles arent allowed and they r proud. did i mention this is sorta hs au. anyway they end up goig 2 a lot of local shows bc when it comes 2 alt music you cannot pick and choose in a relatively small city. reminder they are WILDLY scene they CAN and WILL glow in the dark from the amount of glow sticks they wear

ghoul is PUNK. and i mean he is properly PUNK he has the aesthetic the mindset the music. all r nothin baybe! and also. Doesnt like scene kids. bc headache inducing. he always has a shitton of patches on everything and makes most of them himself r they were gifts and like. hngh i just think he is Neat. patches nd denim jackets and doc martens that are falling apart nearly. so hes from the Big City and jus moved 2 party/kobra/jets town (they r childhood frendz) at the start o summer (YES TIMING IS IMPORTANT U WILL SEE) and is getting in2 the local alt scene.

and at one of these super cool shows he sees party poison fr the first time and is. Woah. theyre BRIGHT. and party is like used 2 ppl staring bc theyre the only super scene kid around but GOD, that guy doesnt seem 2 b staring in the GOOD way bc ghoul is fucking blind but refuses 2 wear glasses and cannot see anything other than Neon Blur (i am projecting here. also thats a cool kj name) but he KNOWS thats a scne kid so hes glaring bc this is a misfits cover band Why Are You Here kinda thing i guess? and partys all “whats up with you, fucker?” bc theyre defensive and impulsive and ghoul flat out punches them (he swears he was aiming fr their shoulder. but he also couldnt see very well. so he hit their face) and they end up getting thrown out fr fighting and they hate each other now.

and then. one day. kobra jet and party are all chillin sewhwere public. and party goes off probably to claires bc theres a sale and they Need more gloves and when they come back That Kid from the show is there???? talking to kobra and jet???? and party is like “kobes wht rh FUCK???????” and koba nd jet r just like. uhm. s this is fun ghoul? the guy? we told you about him? and party is like OU DIDNT SAY HE WAS DOUCHEBAG PUNK GUY!!!!!! and ghoul is like gay panicking bc they can actually See party now and Fuck Theyre Pretty but also PARTY POISON YOUR SIBLING AND TRUSTED FRIEND IS ANNOYING SCENE KID?????????  ANDALSOREALLYCUTEOHDESTROYAHELPME but kobra and jet catch on and are like “nuh uh ur both coo people no fighting when we r around keep ur dumb little spat between urselves” and ghoul nd poison r like “>:( fine >:(” except secretly ghoul is :flushed: :pleading: :flushed:

so we fast forward 2 school starting in september and since i dont fuking understand the american school system, kobra is a year below ghoul&party and jet is a year ahead but somehow ghoul has classes w kobra bc i want them to and it is plot relevant. so ghoul and kobra bcome friends bc obviously they do and ghoul jet nd kobra hang out a lot bc party is Busy With Things i guess?? but like ghoul and party have a class 2gether and even tho they both have 2 tone down the aesthetics fr school they still intentionally annoy each othr in discreet ways

nd they sorta? keep that up? but ghoul and poison both realise “aw fuck, theyre actually. super cool” but both have chroic Cannot Admit My Mistakes disease so they resort to no longer plotting murder but PINING bc “oh noooo they hate meeee how sadddd” but theyre BOTH pining and think the other hates them. so to compensate thy keep doing little flirts in their own ways? party special orders darker kandi beads so they can make ghoul a bracelet that matches their aesthetic but ghoul of course knowns nothing of kandi and just. accepts it. and kobra and jet are like :bonk: bc WHAT THE FUCK???? cause they have baincells sorta kinda. and of course ghoul flirts by handsewing a patch fr party with ALSO special ordered neon thread and party is ALSO oblivious. this happens bc i think it is hilariously adorable that in their own subcultures thy r basically shoving signs saying DATE ME!!!!! I LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!n each others faces but they dont know enough abt eachother to know that. miscommunicaion and gay pining. mmm yummy.

nd at this point they r Very Close 2gether and ghoul hands party the choker back ad is like ,,,csn you,,, help me put it on,,,? and it is very very charged as ghoul moves their hair out of the way for party to reach up and fasten the hoker and ghoul KNOWS they should TURN AOUND so party can see better and party KNOWS they should move their hands away from the ghouls neck even when theyve fastened it and they BOTH know theyr standing Very Close and partys hands r sota half holding ghouls shoulders nd partially his face and ghoul is just. Staring. and then they both sorta lean in and :)))) kith. and jetndkobra are like THANK FUCKING GOD FINALLY and party nd houl r like WE WERE HAVING A MOMENT also wdym FINALLY i totally couldnt tell they liked me! then they look at eah other like. HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I LIKED YOU??????? HOW???? I GAVE YOU PATCHES/KANDI BRACELTS THATS BASICALLY A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL and then kith more. :)))) liddol homos

then,,,,,,,, one day the four r at the mall and the tension is THICK bs ghoul has an Extra Special patch they spent ages on and party has a very awesome kandi/chain? choker they spent ages designing and they r both convinced This will b the gift that shows the other how they feel (spoiler alert It Does Not) and jet and kobes r like. right fuk this WE are gonna go. to the food court. or something. somewhere Not Here. and ghoul nd poison r just :heart eyes: yeah sure,,,,,  and they both like,,, shyly reach in2 their bags,,, nd are like :flushed oh? you uh :flushed: u got me smth too? :flushed: bc gay idiots. and party is like OH MY GOD GHOUL THIS IS SO COOL WHERE D YOU GET ALL THESE PATCHES THIS IS LIKE MADE FR ME I LOVE IT andghouls like ,,, i made it,,,,, for you,,,,,,,, uhm,,,,,,, and party gives him the choker nd is like ,,,oh,,, well uh,,,, i also,,,, made this,,,,, for you,,,,,, like you specifically,,,,,,,,

anyway. you were not expecting this. it took almost an hour. its 5am. this was very fun though cant wait for the day (never) that i write this as a real fic

jet and kobra watch every interaction with amusement and horror bc they like. understand what the two are doing. and they both TRY talk 2 party nd ghoul bc party nd ghoul are convinced the other hates them bc theyre fucking idiots.

#lickthatbattery #im sorry if u werent. expecting this. but i needed 2 get my thoughts down #scenepunk au #partyghoul #killjoys #mypost #myfic #long post #edit: made it my pinned im very happy w this i love this au #i know kobra nd jet arent in it much... its partyghoul. if i wrote it fully there would b scenes w them more #danger days #ttlofk #ttlotfk #ages later i noticed two paragraphs are out of order im so sorry oml