aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)
37 notes
·
View notes
y'all ever wanna be loved so badly but you know you never will be so you read things like fanfic and daydream scenarios where someone actually loves you and they're supposed to be sweet and they are for a while but then you keep thinking about the actual reason why you're making these scenarios is because they will never be true for you and you will never experience anything close to it and suddenly you're crying and then nothing helps make you feel better about it anymore?
cuz like same 😜
22 notes
·
View notes
When [Ken’s] eyes had regained their focus, there he stood, the pale ghost of vengeance, his unbound hair a dark halo around his ashen face. His eyes, as always, seeking above all to understand, as if the world had somehow wronged him. - @pharawee
A scene from our rp in which Big and Ken both live and have to deal with ... that
» you can now read it on ao3! ✨
828 notes
·
View notes
Listening to Lana Del Rey lately makes me think of Quackity and Schlatt and their lavish lifestyle in a reimagined version of Las Nevadas. The parties, diamonds, drugs, and the like. Some of her songs fit them so well, one of those being Cinnamon Girl off of NFR. Reading its lyrics makes me picture Quackity and Schlatt on opposing sofas in a small smoking room with one side being a full window pane wall overlooking the beauty of Las Nevadas, Q gazing over Schlatt, who was suited in a black blazer and crimson dress shirt with a gold feather pendant on his neck, sprawled across the furniture drunk and asleep with a hand dangling around the neck of a half-drank whiskey.
Quackity would be in his silver gown glistening more than champagne ever could, freshly high and pondering of their sexual affair and desiring things beyond that, wishing to Schlatt that he would stop keeping him at a distance through alcohol, cigarettes, pills, or powder, and instead further embrace Quackity wholeheartedly, which in their sober minds they'd think it's ridiculous and impossible. Besides that, sex was one of the ways for them to cope with the pains that haunt them throughout their lives, but for once he wanted to find another way to cope or rather to ease his bruised and troubled soul with a mere embrace, something he never thought he'd yearn so badly for Schlatt to do.
Just because at the moment Quackity strongly wondered, 'would we be better had we become more than what we are now?' He doesn't want to feel orgasm, he wants to feel a love that's just as physical; whilst stoned, such feeling is of desperation heavy to the chest. It's that desire to be touched, gentle and delicate, for the sake of doing so or as a subtle confession. That desire to be held in his beloved's arms without it proceeding to harm or fucking but just to thaw the ice that walled his self in aching cold. That desire to be acknowledged less as a hole to fill and more as the one who's been there for someone else. He could only imagine how good that must be.
24 notes
·
View notes
we're back with another episode of husband watches hockey with me. he asked me to say hello to the 'people on my forum' (that's you). he has No Taste bc he said he's enjoying the national broadcast 'because it has the uk football updates at the bottom of the screen'
9 notes
·
View notes
ok now u got me thinking. aki coming back as the Cold devil. or the Winter devil. or the Snow Storm devil. and he looks the same as he did when he was human but his irises are like a powder blue and there’s always snow in his hair and his lashes. and contrast that with falling in love with you again who he thinks of as so warm and kind and loving….. thawing him….. much to think about - 🍊
the same year the gun devil was eliminated, japan experienced a particularly hard winter season — perhaps that's why he was reborn as the snow devil. when he first opened his eyes, he was met with a dark and cloudy sky, he could hear the lull of the ocean, his ears were still ringing from the hum of a chainsaw and the only thing he can remember is his first name, and particularly not his last.
public safety is quick to follow through on the reports of a humanoid-looking devil wandering the outskirts of hokkaido, leaving a trail of frozen water and dead trees in his path. upon capturing him, since he seemed to not pose much of a threat, he's escorted to the headquarters in tokyo rather than slain.
once the devil gets there, he's apathetic, quiet. doesn't speak unless spoken to. his skin is pale, his lips are chapped, his eyes are a pretty shade of blue and his eyelashes are pure white. he'd pass as a human if it wasn't for the twist of icicles sticking out from his head like horns, covering his hair and his shoulders in tiny droplets of snow, or for the intricate marks on his skin, faint tattoos in the shape of snowflakes.
he looks familiar. like someone who's face was in the obituaries a while ago.
in the mail, you get an unexpected letter from public safety. it includes train tickets, and it's telling you to come to tokyo on urgent business. the minute you've arrived, some devil hunters explain the situation: you need to have a look at this devil — the snow storm devil — and tell them everything you might know about it.
of course, you've never heard of such a thing before. you don't know anything about devils, how are you supposed to give them any valuable information? but when the hunters unlock the cell for you, when you take a step inside and they tell you, don't worry, just keep your distance and you won't get hurt right as they flick the lights on, you realize exactly why you were called here.
it's him.
it's aki, this devil looks exactly like aki, his hair is long and dark and messy, he's got the same face as aki and the same voice as aki when he opens his mouth to ask who you are. he doesn't get to finish his sentence and tell you how damn familiar you look to him because you're already running over, reaching out to touch him even though the devil hunters are yelling at you from the other side of the door, telling you it's too dangerous.
and his skin is cold, he's freezing. you grip his hands, you wrap your arms around him and hug him and it's aki.
aki isn't sure why, but right then, he feels like crying. he's felt nothing but coldness since he came to this place, but you feel so, so warm. his heart twists in his chest, he hugs you back even though he doesn't really know why. he could kill you, he could press his palm to your back and watch you freeze until you're nothing but dust and ice. but he doesn't.
he holds you close, he breathes frost-filled air into the nape of your neck. his body shakes, you mutter into his ear that you've missed him. you pull away, and there's a look in his eyes that's familiar, it's one you've always known.
and yet, when you nervously ask him if he knows who you are, if he remembers you, aki answers honestly, and it's the most the devil has ever spoken: "I don't. But I feel like I should. I'm sorry."
61 notes
·
View notes