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stevieslittleslut · 2 years

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CHAPTER 3

Jenni sat a the table with Skyler,Marie and jr while Hank and Walter were at the grill cooking the meat, while everyone was passing around the food Jenni had only Coleslaw and the pasta salad on her plate “What are you feeding a bird” Hank laughed but no one else even acknowledged the Joke but instead Marie seemed serious “Jenni have more” Marie told but not in a “you have to” way more in a “if you want” way “o no im fine” Jenni played it off.

“I want a beer, '' Jr. asked and everyone laughed a little. Jenni noticed how tense Skyler had seemed but didn't want to get involved in adult business, “No” jr. laughed as Hank asked him if he was pulling any girls `` Dude girls are probably just too nervous your gonna reject them” Jenni said as she playfully kicked his leg “And you Jenni, I'm sure you have tons of guys lining up to date you” Skyler said “O nope nope She’s not dating till she's out of college” Hank said with a shake of his head to which everyone just laughed.

They had moved on and were now talking about how Hank would “stalk” Marie before a date which would always make Jenni laugh,Walt had started talking about how him and skyler had met, Walt had finished the story when she noticed Skyler had started crying and everyone started asking whats wrong but Skyler had continued to just keep crying, Jenni and Marie kept asking until Skyler got up and told them to “Ask him” referring to a stunned Walter.

“ I have cancer, lung cancer” was all walter had said when Marie asked him what was up, everyone sat there stunned until walter spoke up “its bad”

It was way later around 12:00am and Jenni had snuck out to hang out with jesse and be back before the sun rise, she was sitting on the couch with Pete, Jesse on the seat next to them as combo came back he sat down and said “Hey yo, what happened to your hallway man?” Comba pointed to the stairs behind him, Jesse tensed at the question bu tried to play it off cool by saying that “the house was caving in left and right and how it hit him in the eye” which Jenni didnt believe for a fucking second.

All three had almost pressured Jesse into letting get some crystal and he caved as usual “It's white” Jenni said as held up the bag “Ya the purest shit”he said proudly.

It was now morning and Maria and Hank thought Jenni left for school early because of the note she so intelligently left for when they wake up, just incase she didn't end up coming home, Jenni laid sound asleep on Jesse's couch as Jesse was freaking out because two bikers were “coming to get him” he tried to shake Jenni but she just stirred and didn't wake up so Jesse cowardly left Jenni and ran, little did he know it was only two boys on bikes who wanted to talk about Jesus with Jesse.

Jenni woke up not too long after to surprisingly no coffee or anything, she quickly got up and went to look for him “JESSE” “JESSE WHERE ARE YOU?” she realized he wasn't there and muttered a “asshole” angrily before getting her stuff and leaving.

Jenni had gotten a ride to school bye lucas, who was a close friend/hookup or hers who was surprisingly her age unlike most of the guys she hooked up with, Since Jenni had woken up that morning she felt extreme nausea and her body was in so much pain it was almost unbearable but she decided to just stick it out and go to school, Jenni was sitting in class when she felt like vomiting the nonexistent meal she had “ Can I go to the bathroom” she asked calmly though she felt her throat start to fill with the bile “Sure” the teacher excused her and she walked out of the classroom casually until she was close enough to the bathroom so basically bolt into a stall and hurle out whatever food she had nibbled on the day prior “Hey are you ok?” a timid blonde girl opened the unlocked stall door “Im fine get the fuck out” Jenni yelled almost embarrsed to that someone was in the bathroom “Ok sorry, here you go” The girl grabbed her a few napkins and left the bathroom.

Jenni went into the drug store and slipped a pregnancy test into her pocket, she quickly walked out of the store and made her way into the only place she could take the test without getting caught, Jesse’s place, she couldn't take it at hers because of the chance her mom uses her bathroom and sees the test or box or her dad takes out her bathroom trash and sees it , the possibilities were endless but if she took it as Jesse’s she knew no one would find out so it seems like the best option, she used the spare key under the welcome mat and let herself in and walked into the downstairs bathroom.

It was easy and straightforward, you pee on a stick and wait but Jenni felt like it was the hardest thing she ever had to do but she knew she had to so she did and those five minutes were the worst five minutes of her life she smoked a cigarette to attempt to calm her nerves but that didn't work so she turned to pacing around the small room.

Once the five minutes were up she consciously flipped the test to see two faint lines, so faint she had to bring it close to her eyes to see both but once she noticed both she threw it to the ground, she felt like the walls were closing, like they were going to crush her, in a fit of rage she threw anything in arms reach to the ground and once the anger wore off all she felt was sadness, she slid to ground and cried, she felt helpless and ashamed.

When she arrived home later she attempted to call him multiple times but there way no answer “Hey pick up you fucking phone asshole” she left him a voice mail hoping he’d hear it and call back.

Saying Jenni was scared was a fucking understatement I mean she was pratically shitting herself when she went downstairs to eat dinner with her parents, she wanted the floor to cave in but only take that thing and not her, later that night after doing her normal night routin(throwing up dinner, taking a shower and taking off her makeup) she opened up her computer and typed in ‘how do women misscarriage ”, she was already doing a lot of things that can make a women misscarriage, smoke,drink,drug use, not having a proper diet, so she just had to amp it times 2 and she should be good.

Jenni was awoken from her nap with the ringing from her phone “ya?” she said groggily “yo what are you doing” Jesse asked and it sounded like he was a in vehicle “umm im at home, so now you want to pick up your phone asshole” he seethes into the phone “I've been busy sorry” Jesse let out a sigh “whatever” Jenni hung up the phone and went back to sleep but no even five minutes later another ring was emitted from her phone “what the fuck do you want?!” she yelled into the phone “are you pregnant?”

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ruinikaidoexplodedbadly · 2 years

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WHERE can i find yanos backstory

when i get home i can give you the original japanese text if you can read japanese but unfortunately its untranslated at the moment (aside from like… you can put it through deepL and try deciphering it there but its messy because its written entirely im rhymes so) so if you cant ill try to sum it up under the cut major tw for child abuse and ptsd and abusive relationships and drug addiction + like typical yakuza shit also i am notoriously bad at keeping things concise so good luck reading this lol

basically it all starts with yano who grew up in shitty conditions like his mom left idk if she died or she was just like okay bye when he was little then he was left in the care of his incredibly shitty dad whod regularly do awful shit to him and this led to yanos ENTIRE back being covered with horrible cigarette burns <- to this day he cant handle the mentions of cigarettes rigt so and then one day when yano was 15 and just totally sick of everything so he took a knife and tried killing his dad but before he could the yakuza boss actually took him in and saved him from his situation and made sure his dad could never contact him again

so he like actually gave yano his own place to live like he did with odokawa but yano literally had no records of his existence because of the cutting contact thing so he couldnt get a job or go to school so from the ages of 15-20 he was left totally alone in an apartment basically fucking fighting for his life just barely surviving in the WORST state ever until he was allowed to finally actually join the yakuza and was appointed to work under dobu his new big brother/aniki type mentor figure

so dobu took care of him he learned him how to use chopsticks <- ya his life was so bad he didnt even learn how to do that and he bought the suit he wears today and he gave him good advice but he also purposefully triggered yanos ptsd a lot by mentioning his past a bunch and told him that one day hell be grateful for his parents and this bothered yano but he was still really attached to him to the point of wanting to kill his gf which is rlly funny but anyways so this all stopped one day when yano after going kind of independent recieved a letter from dobu and the letter contained his dads fucking address and nothing else so now he hates dobus guts for potentially putting him in a lot of danger and thats kind of where his hatred of him started even if he felt really uncomfortable around him prior to this its a whole thing i can elaborate later but basically

moving on to non backstory information found in the story around this time yano also met sekiguchi and they began working together yano also became severely addicted to prescription drugs and most likely stimulants in general (its implied dobu was his dealer and thats why dobu exclusively dates nurses <- thing we find out in one of yanos songs) but anyways and then one time sekiguchi and yano were chilling they had to go to an office to do yakuza stuffbut in the office they found YAMAMOTO and they didnt know who he was and yamamoto didnt know who they were and yamamoto was like wait holy shit are you guys from the yakuza idk anything about this i hate you stupid scum of the earth im just renting this office for my idol management stuff etc etc pissing thm both off then yano while being high on every drug in the universe almost slit yamamotos throat with a knife until sekiguchi stopped him and thats how they met up with yamamoto so thats one main story thing explained in the short story ^_^ and like ya

#additionally if youre wondering aboit yanos rhyming i couldnt fit this in the summary but its explained that he uses it as a coping #mechanism for not knowing how to socially interact properly it gives him a boost of confidence yknow #also anotjer coping mechanism i couldnt fit in is that he lists where his pain is localized and how much it hurts in graphic medical detail #and idk where this originated and this knowledge is only shown once in the anime but he probably developed it in his childhood #also he canonly has stunted growth and delayed puberty and thats why he looks like thay. okay tjats all the fun facts i couldnt fit

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princessdreamie · 3 months

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Divorced Billionaire Heiresses part 35

Few months have passed since the wedding and the Stanton's still have their own problems to deal with.

Meanwhile, Br had moved on from Fi (sort of) and got with another student from another school.

They met at one of the celeb parties she gets invited to from time to time. They spent time at the event and started dating after some time.

Mt & N didnt know about their daughter having a boyfriend nor did she plan on telling them.

Na started to hang out at Lo's place with the others. His aunt's home (the younger one) was pretty big for a woman alone. But the lady explained that she gets visits from her work friends, that stay overnight.

Lo's mom stayed with her new partner, until they got a bigger apartment for the 3 of them.

The boy didnt have much to say about the new guy, just that they knew eachother many years prior.

But it was not too bad, he liked staying at his aunt's house and have friends over, not like when he used to live with his parents.

He didnt invite anyone back then for his parents bickered for the most time when they were home.

Speaking of his dad. He still sits in jail but his sisters drive him to him to talk for a bit. It might take a while till he gets out though.

Just bc he was locked away doesn't mean his doesn't want to see him regardless, much to his mom's dismay.

While her pals played with Lo's stuff, Lo asked Na to talk in private. She obliged his request and what he had to say didnt come as a surprise to her.

Lo confessed that he thinks that he likes Le and wonders if she could help him getting closer to her.

Na realized his change whenever he and her hearing impaired friend got together. He even invited her to things. Either in a group or alone. Mi noticed that as well, but had no obligation to tell Le since in her opinion, they were still to young for this.

Na assured him that he had nothing to wory about, but still wait for a few years to ask her out. Begrudgingly, he agreed to her and both came back to play with the others.

At the Ferguson place

C got a text from his friend, Sandra, asking to meet up.

His reply came quick and asked her when he should arrive. Sa gave him the time and place shortly after. While he would like to know more he was sure that he could just ask her when they see each other.

Next day at the park

C waited on Sa at the agreed upon place. She was running late which was uncommon for his old friend.

All of a sudden his name was called out from behind him.

Thinking that his pen pal finally arrived, his happy mood turned sour once he saw Fi.

He had not seen him in ages and still was not much of a fan of his. His eyes scanned for Br, in case the 2 of them were together. To his luck he didnt see her anywhere.

Fi stared to talk to him like they were old friends. Which was not really the case. B4 he left their country, both of them hit heads with eachother. Was no matter what it was, school subjects, hobbies or anything really, thay could never go along.

The other teenager noticed rather quickly that C was not in the mood for false acquaintanceship. So he stopped and apologized to him for the things he had said and done to him in the past.

He explained: „I know we didnt get along back then. I was still believing that you liked Br. But it should have been obvious to me that it was not the case.”

C didnt say anyhting but listen to what else he had to say.

„I actually got married overseas. And sufficed to say, that it was the best decision i had ever made. You should meet her. Petra, my wife, is very nice. You might like her too.”

C raised his eyebrow but declined his offer. But not b4 he congratulated him to getting married at his young age.

B4 Fi could say anything, Sa finally arrived and apologies foe being late.

Looking back and forth at C & Sa he expected her being C's girlfriend. He patted the boy on the shoulder while putting a thumbs up as he stupidly grinned at the confused teenager.

Sa asked him what that was about but he just brushed it off and offeres her a drink while they took their walk.

#dbh #divorced billionaire heiress #eric ferguson #chance #eric #billionaire heiress #better ending #alternative ending

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odetoagirl · 3 months

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'bipolar' she said, '2. i think youre hypomanic right now actually'. oh. is that what this is?

i see now things i said to her that i thought were evidence to the contrary played right into her hands. i basically listed symptoms. long, long periods of abstinence met with brief periods of hypersexuality, excessive sleeping and constant exhaustion usually, until intense bursts of energy and not sleeping for a few days at a time. i told her my self esteem is not low, that if anything i am arrogant - i since know such grandiousity is characteristic. very funny. dancing myself sweaty and sick into a crash. the tunnel vision i feel now even writing this where i cannot really remember how i felt or imagine being back there. indeed what a testament my writings are to such a diagnosis, prior to the new year my tone reads completely differently, as though i were entrenched in misery.

it frustrates me now with knowing that it had not been flagged before, as though my time in college of self reference as 'the happiest person alive' and in school my half joke of being 'the second coming of christ' did not scream mania in barely acceptable english, brief bursts between intense misery surely someone ought to have picked up on.

i went to the doctors for extreme exhaustion, endless tiredness, i got incredibly sick after having been awake for 4 nights straight running between london and brighton. WHY did no one see!

my inability to attend university for months at a time or do work, holding out for the few days i can stay up for nights and do it all at once and pull myself together to attend.

i want to cut my hair and spend money and come out to my mum right now and tell her about grace and about this. but now is not a good time for those decisions i know i am not thinking clearly. the hair will grow back and the money will return but i know they are words that cannot be unsaid, so i must swallow them and let them calcify into shame instead.

i cant keep my own secrets, this will be hard for me. i told toby, he called it, he has it, he keeps secrets. i do not return the favour. i told otis when i didnt think it was true. i will keep it down now. it will be hard to not tell anna, eventually i will, but i know it will effect her perception of me and i hate that, i dont want everything i do to be put through the filter of bipolar dysfunction even if it is, there is no escape from this cycle, which also makes it me.

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 2 years

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this is the entire story of me and one of my best friends and our roller coaster of a relationship so buckle up, its long and i need help

the summer camp i worked at had a christmas party with everyone from the cub scout camp and the boy scout camp and 2019 was the first year i knew a lot of people from both but i remember one kid i didnt know that this one said looked like someone we worked with, not too long after i realize this new kid is the kid that followed me on Instagram a few months prior, now i wasnt used to people following me that i didnt know so i took notice of that and i had talked to the kid and my group that i was hanging out with had come to the conclusion that this kid was annoying, for some reason, i started talking to him afterwards on instagram and eventually over snapchat and facetime and phone calls and a whole bunch of stuff to the point where i was calling him regularly and anytime i was on the phone my mom assumed it was him, he was friendly with my mom and my cat before he even met them

now he lives a little under an hour away so the first time we hung out was october 2020 and we went on a hike and i think that was it then i had my first oa weekend with scouts and he was there and took me home from it then we hung out again in december with two of his friends where we did a little hike and lunch and got ice cream and aside from when we were eating, everyone always had a mask on, and as he was dropping me off after this day, he asked me out and i said something about how its not a great time for a relationship, which was true, but i also just never saw him that way, he took it well but shortly after that i ended up blocking him on like everything, here included im sure, because i woke up to a text that said something like "i cried myself to sleep and its all your fault" i think there was an additional text but i dont remember and i had a lot going on and just didnt need whatever that was so, instead of dealing with it or asking or anything rational, i blocked him, for like a solid month until i processed it and asked him what actually happened because thats out of character for him

well what had actually happened was he facetimed me on my ipad and i didnt see it bc i wasnt on it, there was no other context and i didnt know he had called so i thought he was just being a dick really but we got over that once we talked about it and kinda went right back to where we were before but in that september, the month before we first hung out, i developed a crush on this guy at my school, we started dating in april, earlier in april was another scout weekend with him and then again one in may and they were both good we were on good terms and i got my brotherhood in may and between the may weekend and the june conclave weekend, i told him i was dating the other kid and at this point, for months though, i had people telling me i think he likes you and all this and whenever i talked about the bf he got pissy and would straight up end conversations if i even alluded to him, but it was now six months after he asked me out and five since out big fight and i thought he was over it and he would make jokes about the fight that i never thought were funny but the june weekend i told my friend the shortened version of this and she was like my buddy all weekend and one of the few people around who knew him and didnt hate him (i have a habit of being friends with people that a lot of people dont like, i can name five off the top of my head)

so i knew she was unbiased and she also just a great person but anyway later that night i ran into him with her and a younger scout that had been puppy dog trailing us (he was like twelve or smth and we were nice, it wasnt a problem but he was annoying be he was a kid and we were older teenagers) now i hadnt seen him for most of the weekend and i was starting to think he was avoiding me so i see him alone and no where to run from my questions and i start talking to him and he had been having a bad night and this kid did not pick up on that or the fact that he was poking every single button available and i could tell that he was starting to get pissed at this kid so im standing next to him and start slightly brushing my fingers up and down his arm to try to calm him it works but my friend who i told the background to ended up making a joke about when i had blocked him, which he had been doing for months now, but this time it was funny, he loses it, i dont know what he was going to do but he yells at her and raises his arm and i step in because even though he has never been threatening i am hardwired to protect people, especially those i care about and especially from bigger men, now he doesnt hit her or even come close but i saw his arm go up and i reacted and i got angry, at the way he reacted, at the way he got angry for her doing the same thing he had been, at myself for never saying anything sooner, i got angry and he mustve realized his mistake because he had back up quite a bit and i cant remember what i said but i said something and he acted as to throw his mostly empty tea can at me and he didnt actually throw it but there was still tea it in and it splashed all over my shirt and some on my friend so i said fuck you and started walking away then he said something and i just flipped him off as i kept going, my friend and the younger scout followed and halfway back to camp i felt bad about kinda living her with him so i stopped to let them catch up and we finished the walk together and i sat with a bunch of friends that had gathered but i kept thinking about it and was getting upset so i ended up going to my tent and thinking more on it and crying so i texted him asking what happened and can we talk because that was not like him at all and i know he was already having a bad night but what the fuck and i had already changed for bed but we meet up anyway and talked for a few hours where i learned for the first time that he thought all those times we hung out the year prior were dates when i thought they were just hanging out but we wound up holding hands and getting into shenangines and planning a day for me to see his town and everything was alright again

later in june i visit his town and meet his mom and his dog and see his dads shop (i had already met his dad at scout weekends) and we got had dinner at his favorite place and they gave us this strawberry dessert because hes friends with the owners and they thought we were on a date and afterwards we got boba, my first time, and we walked around his town more bc its adorable and we met up with his one friend and we took his friend home then he took me home and it was really fun

well july i was in italy and i got stuck in portugal by myself on my way home and it was only my third trip on a plane and my first time ever international and i was really upset for a while about it and was on the phone with a bunch of different people, one being him and i stayed up most of the night that i was stuck there and he was talking to me for a lot of it which kept me calm really but at one point he had asked me where my bf was and why i wasnt talking to him and i didnt give him an answer but in actuality i didnt want my bf to worry and had told him i was going to sleep, i knew that even if he was worried about me he wouldnt worry to me and would talk to me and keep me calm exactly like he did i could trust him to do that, i couldnt trust that bf to

a few days after that i had gotten full of it, of him being childish and weird about the bf, for months he had been calling the bf "that boy" or "that guy" or anything but his name really and he had been ending conversations right after he was mentioned and i was sick of it, i was sick of walking on eggshells around him so i asked him to call me and i was prepared to tell him that he had to get over it or we couldnt be friends because i refused to keep part of myself hidden just to make him comfortable and all this and really i talked a big game and i had felt all of that in the moment but when we actually got on that call he started talking first and he had said that he knew he was being childish and a dick but he couldnt be just friends with me at the time, he didnt know how, and i was crying but i agreed because i didnt know what else to do and we decided that we would just be scout friends, we could talk about scout stuff since we were both still involved but we couldnt hang out anymore and we couldnt talk all the time anymore and we kind of cut eachout out of our lives and that sucked, i hated it, he was one of my best friends and all the sudden we werent friends at all but i was still thinking of him, i had gotten him something from italy and when my family visited seneca falls in august i got him a pamphlet and i had a bunch of things for him but i couldnt give them to him so i ended up writing a letter, but i didnt take a picture of the letter and i dont remember what was in it but i know on the back i had written "im sorry i cant love you the way you want me to" because i did love him just not romantically and it was hurting me to lose him but i still wanted him to have the things i thought he would like so i sent him this little package of stuff with the letter

i heard nothing about it until like december, at which point i had since broken up with the bf, and we had talked a few short times but nothing even within a hundred miles from how we used to so nothing really changed, i think we called once but it was just talking about scout stuff

so when i was home for spring break in march, the very last day before i went back to school i went to a court of honor, it was for the girl who made the joke back in june and had been his director at summer camp that same year, so were both good friends with her and were both there, it was the first time i had seen him since that time in june and the first time i really talked to him since that time in august so it wasnt much but we had gotten a little back since we were in person and we made some of the same kind of jokes and we had talked about our lives and everything but we didnt fully snap back to how we were, we only started regularly talking again at the beginning of this month and it wasnt the frequency or familiarity we used to have

now, this weekend was another scout event, a full year since i got my brotherhood, 11 months since the june event, and nine months since we basically cut ties, we shouldve known

he didnt get to camp until friday afternoon because he was at a friends prom the night before but once he got settled in he was with my committee, the one im in charge of, and he was helping out and hanging out and basically with me the rest of the day, including dinner where he asked me to save him a seat and ice cream after where the four main people of my committee went out and the several hours afterward that we had talked

so after ice cream, the one person in my committee went to sleep since the three of us had gotten up at 5am, its important to note that i couldnt for the life of me fall asleep that night and ended up getting about 45 minutes of sleep total, but we got back to camp around 11:30 and went to the dining hall to hang out for a bit where three of our other friends were, we all talked for a while and things between us had fallen into our usual pocket of jokes and nudges and talking and it was like nothing had ever happened, well eventually people petered off and probably around two or three am it was just the two of us in the dining hall and we kept talking, hes one of my best friends and i trust him entirely and i hadnt been able to tell him anything in months so both of us had poured the last nine months into a couple hours and again ended up holding hands and it was similar to the june night and i around 4:15ish which was when i had fallen asleep the night before, i started falling asleep on him, so he suggested going back to go to sleep and it had been pouring for hours and got windy enough that it shook the dining hall windows and i was so worried that my little $20 3oz tent from amazon was going to be soaked so instead of walking all the way there for it to be wet and me to walk back to bear paw lodge to sleep in an unused room, we just went to bear paw, and i was so damn tired and i just took my shoes off, took my rainjacket off, took the hard objects out of my pockets and laid down, he had brought in two sweatshirts, one for him and one for me, and something else to use as a pillow and we just went to sleep, i was out like immediately and only really woke up when his alarm went off for seven thirty something

i remember the time being 4:43 a bit before going to sleep so i got a bit less than three hours that night, but i was in bear paw, bear paw was housing males for the weekend, scouts bsa is very particular about males and females sleeping apart and gets into age ranges and everything, they are very serious about sleeping arrangments and i was very seriously not supposed to be there, so, like any good teen movie, i was snuck out the back, the second that door closed i look up to see two of the girls from the site i was staying in, they didnt say a thing to me but i clearly was not supposed to be where i was and all the girls in my site knew that i was not in my tent for wake up and i havent yet got in trouble for not being there so i dont think they told any adults so thats nice but also it was a bit embarrassing because i knew that i hadnt done anything but they didnt and i couldnt tell them without admitting i did something wrong, also theyre like two and three years younger than me and might not understand i dont know them that well im not sure but i said nothing and as far as i know, they said nothing but one of them is very close with one of my other best friends whos tent was next to mine and who was the first to know i wasnt there that morning and who had driven me to camp and who is the number one Not Fan of the friend that i was with, so when shes upset with me that day i think i might know why, we still havent talked about it but hopefully will when i see her tomorrow

so her and her boyfriend had given me a ride to camp and they usually do and they always say its not a problem and that they actually like doing it but theyre friends with this one guy whos birthday it was yesterday and they wanted to stop for lunch with him and do a birthday thing and all this and i dont like that guy that much and i really just wanted to go home, shower, and take a goddamn nap, remember that i got approximately 3.5 hours of sleep total that weekend so i was not in the mood to play nice for lunch and wait an additional hour or two hour to go to sleep and i was complaining about this to him and he said him and his dad could probably take me home because im on the way and theyre not really planning on stopping anywhere but i didnt want to ditch my best friend for the guy she hates so i said let me talk to her, maybe, and i asked if they were still going to lunch saying i was really tired and just wanted to go home so i might go with him and his dad but i just said their last name because its less of a mention of him and idk but i could tell she was upset even before i said anything so i was asking what was wrong and she said she didnt want to talk about it she didnt want to lash out, i should just go with them, i tried to press she said the same thing and i left with them

today he texts me saying hes been feeling conflicted and do i think hanging out again is a good idea and i asked to call so there wasnt so much stress on getting the words right and everything ya know things are just easier to understand straight from someones mouth and really we've gotten no solutions and only ended the call because i promised someone else i would call when they got off work but we know that we cant do that not talking thing again and thats all we know

hes telling me he wants to be there supporting me as i go through things and wants to hear me rant about womens rights and wants to tell me everything and hes telling me that im important to him and that he really cares about me but he doesnt expect, nor want, me to change anything to be with him and im just now realizing how much this reminds me of gilberts letter to anne but either way it would make an incredible love letter except for the fact that i dont love him that way and i never have but at the same time theres this magnetic quality to him that no matter how angry i get or how much time has passed i keep going back to him and we fall into this same dance and everyones asking if were dating or when we will because of the way we look at each other and have conversations with those looks and the inside jokes and how ill lean on him or him on me or how we inevitably end up holding hands and its not in an intertwined way its usually like how regency couples would hold hands or how one might take up the offer to dance and i always end up close to him both physically and emotionally and i dont understand how i can be not attracted to him and magnatised to him at the exact same time and i cant help but feel that if i was any other girl i would say soulmates, i would say theyre in love your honor, i would say just kiss already but i havent ever felt that sort of attraction to him and i feel bad because i can tell, for the first time ever, i can tell exactly how he feels by the way hes speaking, the way he wants to tell me everything and the way he wants to tell his best friend everything is not the same way, he doesnt want to show his town off to me he wants to show me off to his town, he told his friend that everything he does is better when im there, the prom he went to was with a friend of a friend and they made a deal that they would go to each others proms but he had an awful time with her, the friend saying he should take me so hes guaranteed to have fun, hes tried going out with other girls and they just arent for him, i cant help but feel horribly selfish for not wanting to let him go while i know i must be hurting him

#i dont know what to do #i dont even have half of an answer #i need help #if i had a therapist i would be telling them this #also this took me like two or three hours to write #so i wouldnt be able to get through the whole story in one therapy session #let alone talk out a solution

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stagemanagerssaygo · 4 years

Text

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said “I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater

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uweresaying · 3 years

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final goodbye - Shouto Todoroki x reader

In the dorms of UA high school, class 1-A had settled into their rooms for the night. Deku was probably up practicing his quirk, while Katsuki and Iida were probably fast asleep, like most of the class. It had been a long day of vigorous quirk training, pushing the limits of how far they could go. But here you were, wide awake, sitting out on the balcony of your dorm. You had a cig in one hand, and in the other, you held your worn copy of Fahrenheit 451. You had problems with falling asleep, especially since the LOV attack at summer camp, so most nights you would just end up in this exact position. As you read, you caught a glimpse of your door opening, and the air was knocked out of you when you saw the heterochronic eyes of one of your classmates looking back at you. You raised an eyebrow as you took another drag, watching him close the door behind him, and shuffle over to the glass door in front of you, taking his time to take in the scenery of your room. There he stood, the same plaid sweatpants he'd worn the first night in the dorms when Mina insisted you guys all hang out in the common room to celebrate "moving in with one another". That had been 2 years ago, so you had wondered whether or not they were the same pants, but let that thought exhale from your mind along with the cig smoke. "I thought you quit that shit." the boy said, inviting himself to lay down on the mini couch across from where you were sitting. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes at him. "I did. for about a year and 5 months." you said, taking another drag and turning your attention back to your book. Shouto let out a heavy sigh, turning away from the sky to look at you. "You know, I didn't give that key to you. It's pretty rude for you to use it." you said, not looking up from your book. "What are you talking about y/n, you did give it to me. plus, you never asked for it back. It was a gift." You let another half-assed laugh escape your lips, looking over to him with a look of surprise. "No, I didn't give it to you. I gave it to the person that you used to be. You're a stranger to me." As you met his eyes, you could see the hurt your words had caused. if you weren't about to take another drag of your cig, you would have probably smiled, but your drag was cut short when a firm hand grabbed the smoking stick from your mouth and put it out with his right hand. "Hey! What the fuck, do you know how hard it is to find a pack of-" "menthols around here?" he cut you off to finish. You felt your cheeks warming up as he sat down on the floor against the railing, looking up at you. Words were swimming in your head. You were angry. You wanted to slap him. But you also wanted to jump into his arms. Hold him close and let his strong form wrap around you and indulge in the safety only he could provide you. But instead, your muscles were stiff, water forming in your eyes, your face betraying you by letting him see a hurt expression start to cross it. "I don't know what you want from me." you finally uttered out, looking down at your chipped toenails that were crossed in your chair. "I want you to lie to me and tell me that the person looking back at me wasn't created because of the hurt I caused." he said, drawing your eyes back to him. You laughed a little, rolling your eyes before licking your lips and looking up at him again. "Well, I'm not a good liar, so I think you're shit out of luck." you said, making him smile a little. "Yeah, a good liar has never been high on your resume. I remember when you came to my dorm reeking of whiskey, thinking you had convinced me you hadn't been drinking with Mina and Ochako." he said, letting a small smile cross his lips. You smiled too, leaning back and looking up at the sky. "Yeah, and you bitched them out for encouraging me to drink on a school night while all three of us were hungover." you said, watching a plane fly by in the distance. You both sat in silence for a bit, in fact, you had let your eyes fall shut, just enjoying the sounds of nighttime. "I never meant to act the way I did." he

said, causing you to look at him, a lazy look over your face, before rolling your eyes and looking back up at the sky. "It's all water under the bridge at this point. It happened. I let it, and you go." you lied. "It honestly surprises me you feel anything about me, let alone remorse for how you treated me." you said, beginning to feel fed up with this surprise visit you knew shouldn't have been allowed in the first place. "Y/n, I felt a lot of things, I just didn't know how to express them, I didn't know-" "How to communicate your feelings. Look, I know okay. I preached that shit to everyone who tried to talk shit about you when I was sobbing my eyes out to them, trying to figure out what the fuck I had done wrong." you said, your mind not able to stop your mouth before it was too late. Shouto looked at you, and he looked hurt, but he also looked, to you, pathetic. "And you know what, I treated you fucking amazing. I got clean for you. I stopped smoking weed and cigs and stopped drinking, I worked on my quirk that you insisted I was 'throwing away', and worked my ass off to get good grades that I didn't give a shit about until you. I had gotten better. I was doing amazing. and then out of nowhere, you break up with me." you said, letting your words sink in before continuing, "And you know, at first, I was sad, but figured we could have somewhat of a good friendship. I fully intended to continue to get good grades and be the little perfect angel that I expected myself to be to feel like i was enough for you, but then you pretended I didnt exist. You acted like even looking in my direction would kill you. And don't even get me started with you saying you had been thinking about leaving me for two weeks before you actually did it." you said, tears spilling from your eyes, but you kept your voice and face stern. "So don't. just please don't. Just let me live, Shouto. You had no right to come here tonight. You should have thrown that damn key in the trash just like you did with me." you spat, not even bothering to look at him. You knew you'd regret everything you said if you saw him hurt by it, and you didn't want to apologize. All you had wanted since he broke up with you was for him to feel even a fraction of the pain you had felt. But your eyes wandered to him anyway. He was looking at you, dumbstruck. "What?" you spat, more hot tears streaming down your face. He said nothing as he stood, and pulled the key from his pocket, a chain attached to it, with a familiar locket clanking against the key as he held it out to you. Your eyes were blurry from the tears, and you were frozen as he set the chain in your hand. Before he left, he choked, saying, "You're right. You deserve to be allowed to move on. I'm sorry I came." He then kissed the top of your head, before walking back in, leaving you alone once more. You pulled the necklace out from under your shirt, the same locket from his key necklace around your neck. You poped the two of them open and out them side by side. Inside were pictures, in his, was your smiling face with his arms around you, and in yours, the same picture, only the other half, with him smiling with your arms around him. on the opposite side, carved into the gold medal in small letters, the words "私の愛" stared back at you.

*bonus*

only 10 minutes after Sho had left, you found yourself curled up in your bed, sobbing into your pillow, tugging the sleeves of the old sweatshirt he had given you months prior, closer, before eventually drifting off.

#angst imagine #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #shouto x y/n #mha x y/n #mha x you #boku no hero academia #todoroki shoto #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki angst #shouto angst #mha angst

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nikrangdan · 3 years

Text

classmate!sunghoon

pairing: classmate!sunghoon x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: you felt like park sunghoon was way, WAY out of your league... what happens when the teacher tells him to move seats and sit next to you?

*didnt proofread

————

becoming friends with park sunghoon was not something you expected to happen this year

throughout high school you had a small group of friends and never really stuck out

so when your teacher told sunghoon to move seats..

the seat happened to be the empty one next to..

guess who *cue the evil laugh*

YOU!!!!

your first thought was

‘this entire year is just gonna be him completely ignoring my existence or awkward interactions’

now you’ve heard of park sunghoon.... its basically a guarantee at your high school

he has this group of friends and theyre labelled as the popular kids i guess you could say

and the only reason he had to move seats in your two hour long class was because he and his friend jake goof off in class too often and your teacher deemed them “too distracting”

so eventually sunghoon was forced to move all the way across the classroom

right next to you

you were shocked to say the least

obviously he was handsome

too handsome to the point where you questioned how someone as good looking as him went to your school

he sighed and got up from his chair next to jake

but he still had a small smile remaining on his face indicating he wasnt that upset about him having to leave his friend

your heart began to beat quicker automatically as he walked towards your desk

even if you didnt have a crush on him like alot of people did, you still felt nervous around popular students like him for some reason

he ran his hand through his hair and sat down next to you, setting his bookbag on the floor next to him

he didnt look at you, nor acknowledge you

Awkward....

but nonetheless the lecture began again and the class sat in silence

taking notes on their laptops or sleeping

there were around 30 people in your class and your seat was in the middle row next to the window so you often gazed outside from the 2nd floor during class

you glanced to your right and noticed sunghoon slouched back in his seat, twirling around a pencil in his hand while his laptop remained open on his desk

it was just a white screen so he didnt take any notes

you were surpised because you knew he had fairly decent grades

you ignored your thoughts and continued taking your own notes

soon enough the bell rang and sunghoon stood up immediately and walked over to jake

‘yup’ you thought. ‘we are definitely not going to be having a single conversation this year.’

fast forward a couple days!!!!

you were sitting in class next to the boy

as normal

and you still have yet to talk to him.. mainly because you never initiated conversations ESPECIALLY when its a really really cute boy

anyways

ur teacher is like

Ok class im assigning a project and ur partner is the person sitting next to u

yay!!!!!! (can u sense the sarcasm)

welp

you sit in silence while everyone in the class starts discussing with their partners

the project is you have to make a presentation on a world issue of your choice

“um...” u start

sunghoon starts pulling out his laptop and binder

“what do you wanna do?”

he doesnt even look you

well!!!!!!

u didnt know sunghoon and his group of friends very well but u definitely thought they were more... friendly than this

its silent for like 5 seconds

“huh? oh sorry did you say something?”

“uh yeah.. i asked what you wanted to do for the project.”

“project?”

God u tried so hard not to laugh

you think he noticed because his cheeks turned a really light shade of pink

he looked so innocent

“yeah we have to make a presentation” you lightly chuckled

he was very amusing without even trying

“oh sorry haha.. i zone out easily”

“its okay.. but its due in less than 2 weeks so”

so you two spent the next hour choosing a topic and working on the project

it was kind of awkward for the first 10 minutes but then you warmed up to eachother

u were lucky that he was an extrovert too

(sunghoon is an extrovert for the sake of this story OK)

u were also lucky that he was smart

it was easy for you to talk to him.. he just felt comfortable

contrary to ur prior belief.. sunghoon was actually a really really cool guy

u used to think he was just a guy

now u think hes a really really cool guy

“can you please stop putting penguin clip art on the slides” you giggle

then he puts parrot clip art instead

“do your work!!!!” he was supposed to keep researching but he was trying to balance his pen on his nose

“shhh y/n... im doing something important.”

you roll your eyes

he was always doing something that was Not work

but you found it entertaining

and he’d make dumb little jokes that made you both hide your faces in your arms on top of the desk to hide your laughter

“hey y/n”

“what”

“what do you call an old snowman”

“i dunno.. snowgramps”

“no.. water”

you both made eye contact before bursting into laughter and then forcing yourselves to be quiet before u got in trouble

but that made everything funnier so you both were just covering your faces while trying so hard not to make a sound

this was so weird

u have never clicked with someone so fast before it honestly felt exciting

you were talking to sunghoon as if you’d been friends with him since birth

Very Very weird because you had only talked to him an hour ago and now u two are acting like besties ?!?!

jake noticed from across the room too

hes like ‘Why is sunghoon having fun without me🙄🙄’

the bell rings and so far you only have 2 slides

“we didnt get anything done” you note as you pack your bag

“yeah yeah i know. we can work on it more tomorrow”

“right.. see you tomorrow” you’re about to head out until jake walks up

“hey bro” he and sunghoon do some kind of made up handshake before he turns to look at you

now you know jake

everyone knows jake

you used to think he was the sweetest out of all their friend group

and he definitely lives up to that!!!

“hey y/n!” he gives u a smile

AWE hes so adorable

“hi” u reply

you were trying to speed up this conversation though so you could go eat lunch with your friend

“hows the project going?” he asks

“bad. sunghoon doesnt know how to do anything.” you deadpanned jokingly

sunghoon looks at you with an offended look that makes you wanna snort

“hey! you’re the one who doesn’t know how to add text to the slide!”

“what the hell sunghoon?! don’t tell him that, it’s embarrassing!” you give him a dirty look before walking out the classroom door with a smile on your face

days passed and you and sunghoon would only speak during that class but whenever you did it would be a mess

“sunghoon, y/n, quiet down! there is no reason for my classroom to be this loud!” your teacher scolds you two after sunghoon slapped his desk after you accidentally snorted

u two had such a weird relationship

u were almost strangers outside this one class but besties when u were in it

jake noticed too

one time he asked sunghoon during lunch why ur relationship was what it was

“i dont know.. thats just how we are” he answered

but jake kind of suspected sunghoon had a crush on u

*wiggles eyebrows*

it had only been a week but jake was determined to set u up together

“y/n you look cold, heres sunghoons jacket!”

“y/n sunghoon needs help with his homework, can you maybe do something about that..”

“sunghoon, y/n looks sad go give her a hug”

needless to say it worked!!!!

because a week after you presented your 2 weeks worth project

sunghoon asked u on a date

YUPPPPPP

let me recite how it went

u were walking out of class together because jake wasnt there that day

sunghoons bookbag was slung over one shoulder and u were stood next to him with both hands on ur straps

“hey.. do u wanna maybe go grab something to eat with me for dinner..? or something” he quickly asked

“what, like a date?” you joke

“uh.. yeah” he replied looking down at u

u stop in your tracks

WHA

No way

“wait what? seriously?” you look up at him with wide eyes

“yes u little munchkin” he pinches your cheeks exaggeratedly and pulls them to make your face sway everywhere

u swat them off so fast

“um.. okay” u answer and ur face heats up

you cant even look him in the eye

like u cant say u DIDNT see this coming but it was still a shock

“awe is y/n blushing” he teases

“go away stupid”

yeah he doesnt go away

ANYWAYS u are the cutest couple ever

everyone wants to be u two so bad!

couple goals literally

jake is so proud of himself honestly

whenever u get into a silly little argument his rebuttal is always

“remind me who got u the best boyfriend ever? thats right, me. dont try me y/n”

and ur like

“ooohhh jakey im so scareddd”

he cannot stand u

but Yeah sunghoon bestest bf ever

takes u on dates whenever u want to

makes u laugh very much

almost too much

and ur parents LOVE him

mhm sunghoon very awesome guy

#sorry this one was short and quick #cries #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon #enhypen blurbs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen headcanons #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #enhypen reactions

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goopyartiste · 3 years

Text

New Years Kiss

Summary: Sero, after getting rejected, finds a new way to spend the a New Year’s party, especially if he found a special someone to help clear his head and begin the year anew.

Pairing: Sero Hanta x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None at all (except extreme fluff)

A/N: OKAY SO I KNOW I DIDNT DO SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS AND I STILL HAVENT FINISHED THE 100 EVENT, BUT THIS IDEA CAME TO MIND AND I REALLY WANTED TO FINISH IT! other than the fact that i meant to have this done by new years eve, new years day seems better and not to bad 😗 so we’ll just post it now. better “late” than never.

Sero had never been rejected before, mainly because he never tried to ask someone out. Going to a party was not the way he insisted on making himself feel better, especially not how he wanted to spend his last night of the year, more so after getting rejected by a girl from the general studies course. While he sat moping around his dorm, his friends couldn't stand to see him so distressed considering he was usually one of the more jovial, laid back of the bunch. His usual confidence wavered, jokes didn't land well. Sero’s groove was thrown off, and his friends were determined to fix him. It was Mina’s idea to take him to a party, one that Kirishima and Denki agreed with wholeheartedly. Using her relationships from her old school, she reached out to a friend of hers that she managed to stay in contact with. Considering her luck, Mina hoped her friend would at least introduce Sero to some different people and hopefully make him forget about the one girl that turned him down.

As the group individually began getting ready for the New Years’ Eve party, Sero couldn’t help but be nervous. As someone who rarely feels the usual nerves others feel, this was a strange new sensation for him. Could it be caused by feeling rejection from the first girl he asked out? Or was it some late reaction to something prior? He really had no clue, but man did he not want to find out. Sadly though, Sero was quickly brought out of his daze by frantic knocking at his door. His friends stood on the other side, already decked out in their black and gold glory with cheesy accessories signifying the start of the next year. Oh how he wished he could share in their excitement, but he could at least make an effort to pretend to be happy, especially for them. As they walked along the halls of the dorms, all was quiet. Instead of teasing or banter, Sero was pensive, stuck in his own thoughts and in his head to make sense of the world around him. Everyone was quick to realize how much a good party could help bring up his spirit, especially one where he didn't really know anyone.

The party, however, only really served to make him even more of a downer, sticking to becoming a wall flower instead of his usual antics of recording whatever stupid thing Denki was doing at that moment or shamelessly daring Kirishima to do some idiotic dare. Mina tried to get him to dance, while Denki performed some stunts that he knew would ultimately cause chaos. All this for their friend, who clung to the wall with an indifferent look on his face. That is, until someone caught his eyes.

You floated past him, like an angel coming down from up above. The body spray you had spritzed earlier made his way up his nostrils and into his lungs, filling him with the scent of you. To say Sero was enamoured was an understatement. He blamed his quick infatuation on his broken heart, but the only way to really find out was by talking to you. However you didn’t turn to him. Instead, you made your way to his friend, a certain bubbly pink haired student.

Sero couldn't help but stare. To him, it seemed like you were the only person in the room, brightening it up while only serving to draw him closer towards your blinding light. His heartbeat rang loudly in his ears, almost drowning out the boosted bass of whatever party song was currently playing as it seemed to match the beat of the blaring speakers, the thumping and bopping only adding to his shaken demeanor.

Sero had to talk to you, he just had to.

He shifted his body, moving away from the wall and slowly walking towards you and his friend. One step. Two steps. It was all so sudden for him. Wasn’t he just moping about some girl? Why was he falling for someone so quickly? A third step. Then a fourth. What if he didn’t know what to talk to you about? What if he just made a fool of himself?

Soon, he found himself at least three feet away from the pair, already drawing the attention of his eccentric friend and yours. One look from you was all he needed to be sent into a stupor, feeling the air in his lungs leave him. He subtly gulped, clearly a little nervous but retaining some level of confidence, although he could chalk that up to the energy drink he took before this. Sero could have stayed admiring you for who knows how long if Mina hadn’t spoken up.

“Sero! It’s good to see you walking about!” Mina started, clearly yelling in an attempt to be heard over the booming music. “This is my old friend, Y/N! We used to go to middle school together. We were just catching up.”

You looked at Sero once again and stuck out your hand. “It’s good to meet you Sero. I’m Y/N! Hope you’re enjoying the party so far,” You responded, quickly introducing yourself to the stranger.

Sero was taken aback, a little scared that his voice might fail him, yet he pushed on through. Taking your hand, he flashed one of his signature smiles before replying, “Well it's been a pleasure to meet you. Y/N sounds like a lovely name, and suits you well.”

You slowly felt your cheeks begin to redden and flush with heat, although you quickly chalked it up to the cold winter weather. The two of you took a few moments of silence together, almost as if trying to determine what made both of you so special and intriguing to the other. Well, at least that was the plan until Mina spoke up and startled the both of you.

“I see both of you are getting along well! I’ll leave you to it!” she exclaimed, before running off in Denki’s direction.

In an attempt to ease the blossoming tension, Sero popped a question, too desperate to stay with you that his thoughts jumbled as he asked, “Ah- um… so do you want to go dance?”

His face felt hotter as soon as the question left his mind, already wondering why his mouth had to speak faster than he could think. However, you quickly alleviated his nerves by your quick answer.

“I mean, sure! It seems like fun,” you began before you grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor, “Come on! We don’t want to miss any good songs now don’t we?”

The night seemed to pass in a blur, Sero quickly forgetting his past worries and anxieties while you began to fill every small corner of his consciousness. Your confidence and spunk drew him towards you, almost as if you showed him how to be someone else free from his own worries. He almost forgot about the ticking clock counting down the passing minutes until the start of the new year. He almost forgot about his friends, left behind in the kitchen doing whatever they thought was fun. But he never forgot you and your face, like sickly sweet and viscous honey trapping him. He barely even noticed you dragging him to the balcony as the countdown signified one minute left.

With labored breathing and a creeping soreness spreading, both of you let the coolness of the snow fill you up. You both chuckled, already breathless for dancing and drunk on euphoria. From inside, the cheers and yells of people counting down with the timer rang out into the open air.

Five. You took Sero’s hand, interlacing it with yours as he looked up at your face.

Four. He moved to grab your other hand, but you didn’t let him.

Three. You instead gently placed it on his cheek, caressing it softly and running your thumb across.

Two. Sero looked at you quizzically, almost as if trying to trick you into thinking he didn’t know what you were about to do.

One. You closed the gap between the two of you, except instead of your lips finding his, they found his other cheek. The cheers of friends and strangers clashed with the mellow and tenderness of your kiss.

As you pulled away, you began to speak.

“There. Maybe if you’re lucky, you might get a kiss somewhere else later on.”

Sero grinned, simply savoring the atmosphere, “Does that mean I get to take you out on a date?”

“I mean, if that’s your way of asking, then I guess I’ll have to say yes.”

Sero didn’t know where this new year was going to take him. He didn’t even know if this year would be better than the last. But at least he did know that with you alongside him, it was bound to be a new adventure he would be willing to take.

Taglist (Open!):

@peach-pops @kirislut @deephasoceanmagic @katsushimaa @hannahalanib1 @estridries @art0saurus @yee-harr @shoutamajiki @spookykiri @animatedarchives @meliorist-midoriya @sugas-sweetheart @suggiebabe @justamultifandomfan16 @ohno-grapes

#sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #sero fic #sero fanfiction #sero hanta #mha sero #bnha sero #mha x reader #sero x y/n #sero hanta x y/n #bnha x reader #sero fluff #Stories from the Galaxy; — 🌌

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hiiro-writes · 3 years

Text

single dad au part 3!!

heya!! hiro here bringing more zhongluc single dad au brain vomit

i apologise in advance for the inconsistent posting about the au but i'm thinking for part 4 would be on father's day! because hehe single dad au

without further ado here's part 3!

《♡♡♡♡♡♡♡》

after a few days of gathering information, bennett consults his friends during lunch

he's...quite stumped. nothing about his notes make sense no matter how much he reads them again

the only conclusion he can come up with is that mr zhongli (he heard his dad and uncle kaeya mentioning him a lot) is the reason why his dad is acting so weirdly

they're just friends?? right??

when bennett arrives at their usual table he goes to chongyun first to tell him what happened before explaining his situation to the rest of his friends

razor and chongyun are deep in thought while xiangling, hutao, and xingqiu are all laughing to themselves

bennett lowkey gets upset by this because hey it's his dad and he cares a lot about him

xiangling explained that they meant no harm by it but they just find the whole thing cute

....cute?

xingqiu continues by saying that his dad developed feelings to this mr zhongli

this only causes bennett to become even more puzzled but hutao rolls her eyes with a smile and explains that his dad may have a crush on mr zhongli

chongyun wonders if that really is the case while razor gave up on thinking and went back to eating his fourth sandwich

bennett tries to connect all the dots and comes to another conclusion: ask uncle kaeya because he certainly knows what's best

right?

they all carry on to the rest of their classes but by the end of the day he's approached by ganyu...in the clinic

bennett tried helping a cat get out of a tree only for it to scratch his hand...again

the school nurse was busy tending to another student and so ganyu volunteered on helping which was perfect since there was something she needed to talk about to him

after patching him up she asks him if they could talk on the way out (with xiao but technically he just followed behind)

she explains to him about their plans to get their dad and his dad together since they obviously are interested in each other

with this bennett finally understands and is incredibly happy to help them out (and his dad of course)

bennett explains that he never had another parent figure

though kaeya, jean, and lisa filled that in of course it wasn't exactly the same

diluc happened to adopt bennett since he was abandoned one day by his original parents

apparently a few days prior his dad crepus died in a car accident and then later found bennett as a baby and decided to adopt him as his own

this brought a smile to ganyu's face (xiao as well but he's walking behind them...coward)

she's glad to know more of the kind of man her father is interested in and since they were on the topic of their parents ganyu decided to talk about her mom as well

her mom guizhong used to be gentle and kind. really witty too as their dad would describe when ever he reminisces about the past. he even comments they got their wit from their mom

unfortunately she was quite sickly and died of an illness years ago. ganyu and xiao were a lot younger back then so they don't remember too many details of what happened

when ganyu felt sad remembering about her mom bennett smiled and said that she sounds like a lovely person and that he would definitely love to meet her

as ganyu was about to reply she recognized childe and...his boyfriend kaeya??

turns out the two of them decided to pick up the kids from school and head to the cafe for their top secret mission of getting zhongli and diluc together

bennett gets all excited and punches the air, ganyu chuckles to herself, while xiao rolls his eyes at this

they all discuss in the car since it was a lot safer that way instead of discussing it in the cafe where so many people can hear them and it's too risky

childe updated them on zhongli's schedule saying that he moved all appointments this saturday to different dates

kaeya asked his friend eula to work part time to cover diluc's shift (he asked if she could just work in the cafe instead but she explained she had other things to do first)

ganyu decided on a restaurant with the help of her girlfriend keqing and it was all set

now all that's left is for bennett to encourage his dad and for xiao to invite his father (along with aether) on a little cafe date

the only problem is...it has to happen today

as much as childe wanted to free up zhongli's schedule for the rest of the week that man was way too busy

ningguang was already taking a few of his responsibilities but it was too much on her plate (she overhead childe on the phone with kaeya talking about the plans and she wanted to help out)

kaeya mentioned he made diluc run some errands so that he could join childe in picking them up today so that he could explain the current situation

thankfully it worked since kaeya mentioned he "rarely gets to pick up bennett from school"

but deep down diluc knows his brother all too well and believes that kaeya just wanted some time with his boyfriend

he's not wrong tho

after going over their plans, they're 5 minutes away from the cafe, xiao is currently calling aether whereas bennett was thinking of ways of encouraging his dad to ask mr zhongli on a date

once they arrive at the cafe there current plan was set in motion

kaeya goes back to his shift, bennett runs to his room to get ready and xiao patiently waits for aether to arrive

ganyu has somewhere to be and it was up to childe to picl zhongli up from a business meeting

it's all running smoothly since diluc arrives with a bag of groceries 10 minutes later and bennett drags him away (and creates a mess but that's fine) and talks to him about mr zhongli

while they talk, aether arrives after being dropped off by his sister lumine and her girlfriend amber

xiao explains that he wants to introduce him to his father to which aether turns red immediately and swores under his breath

xiao tries to question it but aether only explains that he lost a bet with his sister

meanwhile diluc is blushing furiously when bennett mentioned having a crush on zhongli

how??? how do people know is he that obvious???

bennett starts to encourage his dad saying to grab this once and a lifetime opportunity!

diluc is hesitant about it but his son comments that sometimes he looks a bit lonely looking at all the other couples

before diluc was able to ask a question bennett fell off the chair he was sitting on,,,

zhongli arrives and sees xiao and aether together

after simple introductions zhongli orders for all of them and greets kaeya

kaeya mentions that diluc is just at the back fixing the groceries to which zhongli just smiles at him

behind the counter, diluc is taking deep breathes to shake the feeling of nervousness

but first of all why is he so nervous??

for many reasons you idiot!!

one, he doesn't have any relationship experience

two, he has never asked nor has been on a date before

three, he's afraid of ruining his little friendship with zhongli

he tries to remind himself of the things bennett told him which calms him down a lot

he prepares the orders of zhongli and noticed that his son xiao keeps...staring?

is he watching him or something??

because when diluc prepared he tray xiao mentions something to his father before standing up and walking away with aether, leaving their things behind

this only made diluc more confused but that's besides the point right now

when he places the orders on the table zhongli offers if he would like to join him

he explains that since his companions are busy buying something elsewhere, zhongli doesn't have any company and insists that diluc should join him if he wasn't busy

diluc takes a seat in front of zhongli and at first it was quite awkward since nothing was happening between them

until zhongli mentioned the type of coffee beans diluc used to make his coffee and the conversation went well from there

they talked about coffee, work, their kids (and shared a few photos) and some other random things

diluc discovered they had a lot of common interests and that hey, zhongli is a really nice guy

they were talking for a while they didn't realise xiao and aether coming back, nor how late it was

before going their separate ways diluc asks zhongli if he was free and if maybe they would like to have dinner together

"to get to know each other more of course!" diluc frantically says before turning as red as a tomato

zhongli chuckles at this and mentioned that he's free on saturday

this...shocks diluc because wow

holy shit

HE HAS A DATE??

the only thing he could do is nod and zhongli seemed to acknowledge it and tells him they can decide on a place later on since they exchanged numbers

what they didnt know is that xiao was listening carefully on their conversation and smiled to himself

EDIT:

link to part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5

#its...so long i...#also i just had to mention guizhong pls omg i love her so much #as you can see im slowly adding everyone bc why not right #brainrot #genshin impact #zhongli #genshin diluc #zhongluc #single dad au #hiro.wips #hiro writes

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castiels-majestic-wings · 3 years

Text

HISTORY

Paring - Loki x Reader

Word count - 2,124

Warnings - None

This is my first fanfic so please don't be too harsh, but I would greatly appreciate some of your opinions on how i can improve my writing. Thank you.

It had been three days since you came to Asgard. Thor had offered to take you after hearing that your thesis was on Asgusrdian History. He had explained that the library was full of ancient knowledge. Of course it was mostly in Old Norse, but he showed you the section you would be able to read and understand.

Being an unofficial member of the Avengers came in handy when it came to your University papers. Of course you helped them when the time came but you weren't a true Avenger, you were neither trained in combat nor held any special gifts. But you were a tactician. And a good one at that. You already knew Tony and when he had asked for your help on a mission, you had to accept. Of course school came first but you could never refuse Tony of the help he needed. Especially when his life was on the line. And you helped save his life. On many occasions. He had asked you so move into Stark tower after that. Of course then the Avengers came and you became friends with them all.

Steve was easy to get along with, he didnt understand most of the references you made but he's always there for you. It was easy to tell Natasha anything and everything, her being the only other girl on the team made it easy for you to open up ro her. Bruce was smart, you didn't understand most of the things he said but being around Tony so much made you understand a little more than the others. Clint was a father figure to you. You knew about his family already, so you always went to him for advice Steve couldnt give you. But you never really understood Thor, after all he came from a different realm. And after witnessing first-hand what his brother did in new york you had found it difficult to trust him, thinking if Loki was capable of doing that then the other god could obviously do so much more.

But these past three days have been very helpful, you have been stuck in the Library reading non stop. The history of Asgard was a lot more than you expected. Thousands of years worth of wars, protests, evolution. It wasn't much different from the history on earth. The development was the same. The first war was about taking land and Asgard had claimed it. The second was about beliefs and claiming the opposing opinion was always wrong. The third was about a king who couldnt rule. So the Asgardians fought against him until his son took over the throne and ruled over Asgard better than his father ever did. It intrigued you greatly to find that you weren't that much different.

But it was today that you found out Loki was in Asgard. It scared you of course. After seeing the genocide in New York you never wanted to face him again. But Thor had pleaded about Loki's change of heart, explaining that he wouldnt hurt you or anyone again. He gave his word. So you trusted him. But when Loki entered the Library, you couldnt deny the fear that had crawled its way up your back. He sat down across the room facing you but his eyes were focused on the book in his hands.

Looking at him, seeing him again. It brought back the memories of new york, the way his eyes darkened whdn he found you in Stark tower. Powerless and scared. You heard Tony speaking to you in the earpiece, asking for your next move. But you couldnt speak, Loki had his eyes on you. You knew you had to tell Tony somehow. So when he came close enough you muttered to yourself.

"L-loki." He heard the fear in you voice, saw it in your eyes. And he grinned. He enjoyed placimg fear into peoples hearts. And you despised him. You heard Tony yelling at Thor to try and get eyes on you from outside. You hears the panic in his voice. But Loki didnt do anything to you. He went back to the portal device to talk the professor he had under his control. You told Tony quietly where in the tower you were and that is what gave them the upperhand.

But looking at Loki right now. It shocked you, he looked so peaceful. Like New York never happened. You didnt understand. But Loki felt your gaze om him and looked up, his eyes meeting your own. Your eyes widened and you shot your head down to resume your reading, trying to hide away.

His gaze lingered trying to recall why he recognized you, and when he remembered he felt remorse. You were the only human he didnt try to hurt in New York. He didnt know why he couldn't, maybe it was the look on your face. Or the knowledge that you couldnt move in fear he would do something. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him. He could tell you were struggling to be in the same room as him so he took his book and left to his chambers so he wouldnt bother you. That action put many questions in your head. Why did he leave? Did he recognize me? Was he trying to be kind? You couldnt comprehend his actions, but were thankful none the less.

It had been a week and you had read most of the books you used to help with your thesis but the last one you needed you couldn't understand. It was in English but it was very confusing to you. You knew Thor couldnt help because he had other things to do. And the only people you really spoke to during your time here were the servants who Thor had sent to give you meals and remind you to sleep.

That gave you one more option that you dreaded to even think about. Loki. He obviously loves reading, he came in daily to change his book and left immediately after, and he was Asgardian so he knew the history. But you just didnt want to face him. Your history wasnt a good one. But you knew you needed help. And he was academically smarter than Thor. You knew which room was his, you asked just so you could avoid it. He had avoided you to make you feel safer - or that's what you presumed at least. It was the last bit of information you needed for your paper so you had to do it. The sooner you did, the sooner you could go back home.

So you bravely got up and headed to the side of the palace you avoided at all costs. The layout was almost mirrored so it was easy to get around. Then you found his door. You hesitated for a moment. Contemplating if you should even do this. You hand was balled into a fist ready to knock, before the door opened by itself. You looked up to see Loki's radient blue eyes looking down at you in confusion with a raised brow. You dropped your hand to your side. There was a silence between you before you spoke.

"I need your help." An amused grin appeared on his face his eyes never leaving your own.

"Oh? And what could i possibly help you with that my dear brother cannot" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, obviously amused at your request for assistance.

"I need help learning Asgardian history and no one i know is academically smarter than you. You-you come to the library daily to change your books, so- its obvious you like to read" You were surprised you could form a sentence, let alone two. He broke you away from your thoughts with a chuckle.

"Yes i enjoy reading, it would be a pleasure to help you darling" Darling? The way he said it made your heart skip a beat. Was it the intimating tone? Or the fact he gave you a nickname. You couldnt tell. But for the first time ever you gave him a genuine smile.

"Thank you very much. I left my stuff in the Library, i didnt think you would accept my request." This time it was a lot easier to talk. His eyes weren't as dark as they were that day in New York. They were calmer, at peace. They were bright and full of hidden stories you wanted to read.

"Why would i refuse the request of such a beautiful midgardian" Your breath got stuck in your throat. He complimented the very woman he had frightened years prior. That fear that had been knawing at you for years suddenly disappeared. He felt lile a different person entirely. Thor was right, he has changed. Tony wouldn't believe it though. He would never trust Loki, you knew him well enough to know that. But your opinion of him has completely changed.

"Lets go then, i only have two more days to complete my paper." He nodded and closed his door leading the way even if you already knew where you were going, you didnt mind. You stayed by his side holding a small conversation until you made it to the Library. You sat down and explained what you didnt understand, he simplified the context so I would be able to gather the information I needed. You were just about finished when Thor came to check up on you. He was shocked to see you not just near Loki but speaking to him. He knew of your dislike for him so he didnt know what to do. You were facing the pages of the book so you didn't see him enter. He made his presence known by closing the door he had previously left open. You looked up and smiled as you saw him. You hand automatically gave him a snall wave before returning to your notebook.

"What are you doing here brother?" Thor obviously wanted answers so you didnt give Loki a chance to.

"He's helping me learn about Asgardian history! He simplified it so I was able to understand much better. Plus hes very knowledgeable."

"So you're okay? Being with him after last time i thought-"

"Yeah I mean I hesitated to even ask for help but I'm glad I did. Plus he has some very funny stories fron your childhood too. The stabby snake one is my favourite." You saw Thor's frown deepen knowing that Loki shared embarrassing stories of himself. But he was happy nonetheless. You were able to talk to his brother without the fear if getting hurt.

"How long do until your research is complete? Tony has asked me to escort you home once your done with your studies." You shrugged in response.

"Not long, about two hours or so." A smile made its way to your lips knowing youll be able to go home. But you heart ached at the thought of leaving Loki after befriending him so suddenly.

"But will Loki be able to come with us? He taught me so much about Asgard I want to show him earths history. I can take him to the museum I took you to when you were first curious." Thor was pondering your request to take his brother to the avengers tower alongside you. How would Tony react knowing you feared his brother? Would the rest of the avengers be okay with it.

"Theres a spare room across from mine he could stay in durin his visit. C'mon Thor. Please, its not very often that i get over my fears." You're eyes pleaded to him. Begging for him to say yes. You needed to talk to Loki about the modern literature on earth. You had plenty of books in your own room you could let him borrow. And it seemed like Thor knew he couldnt win this fight.

"Alright, Loki can you escort her home once you're done?" Thor had put every ounce of trust he had into his brother. He knew you weren't capable of combat but he also knew how similar the two of you were.

"Of course brother. I shall take good care if her, you need not worry." And then Thor took his leave. It was a good idea to bring Loki with you. Once you got home Tony was less than pleased at the sight of Loki, he begged you to hate him again and make him leave. But you wouldn't. You had to many things to show him. You had so much in common plus, in the short amount of time that you trusted him, he may have found his way into your heart.

#loki x reader #mcu loki #loki #loki odinson #loki lafeyson #loki imagine #loki x you #cazza writes

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tthankstoyou · 3 years

Note

Platonic hevans how would Sam and Kurt comfort each other after all their breakups on glee

I love this omg thanks for the ask! It’s all under the cut cus this got kinda long. Sam deadass dated like every girl on the show 💀

(I’m not doing Samchel bc I didnt watch any of their scenes. I feel like I shouldn’t talk about a ship I know nothing about haha)

Fabrevans breakup: Kurt isn’t at McKinley but he overhears Finn on the phone with Puck bragging about how he got Quinn to make out with him after school even though she’s with Sam. Kurt is like ��HUH?’ and subtly asks Rachel and Mercedes about it at their next sleepover, which Fabrevans broke up earlier that day. Mercedes and Rachel tell Kurt all of the drama, including how they had a date to Color Me Mine planned for that night that Sam was looking forward to.

Kurt is looks at the time and see’s that there’s still two hours before Color Me Mine closes. Without much thinking, he gets changed into his clothes (since they’re wearing pajamas) and starts texting people for Sam’s address. Mercedes is like “and where are you off to?” Kurt says “I feel bad that Sam isn’t able to go to Color Me Mine anymore, I’m gonna ask him if it’s okay if I go with him.” Mercedes raises her eyebrows and Kurt is like “As two friends who love painting ceramics.”

So he pulls up to the Evans residence. Sam is surprised to see Kurt at his door. He asks what Kurt is doing there and Kurt is straight up like “To take you to Color Me Mine.”

Sam is dating Santana, so Sam says “I cant go on a date with you if I’m dating Santana. Although I think she’d be okay with polyamory if you give me a second to ask her.” Kurt is like “NO! I don’t want to date both you and Santana. I heard that you and Quinn were planning on going to date to Color Me Mine before you guys broke up... and I wanted to know if it would be okay if I took you... as friends.”

Sam says “A bro date to Color Me Mine. I like that. Let me get my jacket and I’ll be right back out.”

Samtana breakup: Sam wasn’t too broken up about their breakup, he honestly saw it coming. He didn’t even realize they were broken up until he saw that Santana was now dating Karofsky. He didn’t care that much, they barley hung out to begin with. But Kurt cared a lot, he wanted to make sure that Sam wasn’t feeling like he was cheated on.

On a night that Kurt was coming over to Sam’s hotel just to drop off clothes, he also decided to bring his laptop and lots of snacks. Sam was surprised to see Kurt bringing all of this stuff, but he wasn’t complaining. Kurt popped in a DVD of avatar that he bought on the way there and they spent the night under the blankets.

Samcedes “breakup” #1: I use the word breakup really loosely as they were never dating the first time around, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other and ending things wasn’t painful.

Sam is living with the Hudmels at this time so Kurt can hear Sam crying from his room. Kurt knocks quietly on Sam’s door. Sam doesn’t answer so Kurt let’s himself in. He see’s Sam bundled under the covers and notices that he’s eyes are bloodshot from all the crying. Kurt sits on the edge of Sam’s bed and tells him that he’s always there for Sam as a friend. Mercedes may be his best friend, but that doesn’t mean he cares about Sam and his happiness any less.

Sam crumbles at this and sobs into Kurt’s shoulder. He tells Kurt all about how Mercedes sing Whitney Houston to him as a way to tell him that she couldn’t do this even though she loved him. Kurt tells him that everything will be okay and that this heartache won’t last forever.... which is true seeing that Sam and Mercedes go to prom together soon after that.

Bram breakup: Sam would, once again, be a sobbing mess. I feel like Sam would be super out of himself, Blaine and Tina are doing their part to cheer him up as their best friends, but Kurt feels like he should do something too seeing as he’s at home when it all happened.

Kurt takes Sam on a bro date, reminiscent of the one that they went on when Sam and Quinn broke up. Kurt takes Sam to see some movie that just came out that Sam has watched the trailer for like 50 times. Kurt almost falls asleep during the movie, but Sam is having the time of his life. It’s the first time that Kurt has seen Sam so happy recently. They leave the theatre and take a short stop to get ice cream. While eating the ice cream, Sam raves about the movie and how amazing it was. He’s already talking about bringing Tina and Blaine to see it with him the next weekend.

Samcedes breakup #2: Sam didn’t see this one coming, they were doing so well. He thought for sure that Mercedes would be the girl he married (spoiler alert: he does marry her, he just doesn’t know it yet).

Before Sam goes back to Lima, Kurt takes Sam out for brunch to talk about how he’s feeling about everything. Sam tells him that he feels like he gives so much love, but the world doesn’t want him to be happy. He tells Kurt that he had a plan for his future with Mercedes. He could see it all so clearly, she was the first person that Sam has dated that he could imagine getting married, raising children, and growing old together. Sam says that feels like he should just give up at love, because it obviously is never going to work out.

Kurt listens to Sam talk in detail about this all for a hella long time, only adding in comments here and there to make sure Sam knows he hasn’t tuned out.

At the end of Sam pouring his heart out, Kurt says “I know my best friends, which are you and Mercedes. I can see how in love you too are and how hard you tried to make it work. From what it sounds like to me, this isn’t a forever breakup. It’s an ‘until we meet again’ breakup, meaning that your story isn’t over. And don’t you give up on love Sam Evans, you are one of the most lovable boys I know. And I promise you that Mercedes hasn’t stopped loving you ever since the summer you guys had your little fling.”

Klaine breakup #1: Sam is in Lima consoling Blaine after the breakup, but he also can’t help but wonder how Kurt is feeling.

One night, Sam calls up Kurt on skype and asks him how he’s holding up. Kurt lies and says he’s fine, but Sam can see right through it. Sam says, “You’re not fine. You don’t have to lie to me” which makes Kurt break out into tears. He tells Sam how much it all hurts and how he never thought he’d have to feel pain like this. Kurt mentions how he feels like he’s not allowed to be sad because he has to help keep Rachel’s spirits up, but it’s just so hard. All he wants to do is have his best friend huh him and help him through his heartbreak.

That gives Sam the idea of visiting New York for the weekend. Sam buys plane tickets with money he’s saved up from working at the tire shop and shows up outside of Kurt’s door on Friday night, completely taking Kurt by surprise. Sam immediately gives Kurt a huge ass hug and tells him that he’s there to help keep his mind off of things.

They have a great weekend, Kurt takes Sam to places in New York that they didn’t see at Nationals two years prior and also takes Sam to all of his fav hidden spots in the city. One of them being a cute little bakery that he spends his mornings in when he doesn’t have anywhere to be.

Sam and Kurt spend Saturday night watching musicals, while Kurt tries to hold back tears because they remind him of Blaine. Sam notices this and makes Kurt turn it off and instead put on Avatar. Kurt is like “Excuse me?” but Sam says it’s because that’s what Kurt did for his breakup with Santana. They might as well make it a tradition.

Klaine breakup #2: Just like with the previous breakup, Sam skype calls Kurt. It’s something they’ve been doing regularly, it helps keep Sam up to date with Mercedes and helps keep Kurt up to date with his dad and Carole.

Sam logged onto this call knowing that they’d already broken up, he got the info from Blaine (since they’re besties). Unlike last time, Sam isn’t able to easily take a day few days off to fly to New York for Kurt. Things at school are ramping up and he’s been needing to work longer hours. So all that he can do is give his support through the computer screen. They stay up all night talking about anything and everything.

Kurt is trying to skate around the topic of the breakup, but he knows that he has to mention it at least once that night. Before the call ends, Kurt let’s Sam know how he’s doing with it all. He tells Sam that it’s painful knowing that the man that you love isn’t the man that you will marry. Sam knows exactly know he’s feeling, as he felt the same way about Mercedes. They fall asleep while on call, Kurt wakes up first and smiles at the sight of Sam’s sleeping face.

#holy crap this got long #asks #greyhound30 #hevans

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pikapikabishes · 3 years

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It's Okay Now(Kirishima x gn!Reader)

Disclaimer: all characters rightfully belong to their original creators, only thing that is mine is the plot. Also do not copy my writing. Thank you

Summary: Class 3A's Y/n was having a jolly day hanging out with the BakuSquad, including her amazing bf of over 6 months, Eijirou Kirishima, even with all the stress piling up, like a shaken soda bottle ready to burst, until said explosion finally happened. Triggered by the littlest, probably stupidest event

Warnings: anxiety (?), panic attacks, not eating for days, mentions death, suggestive themes, a bit of swearing

Mentions: mental breakdown, overworking oneself, starvation, hyperventilating, ugly crying, kiri being absolutely biggest sweetheart, daddy!Kiri breifly

A/n: this is my first fic on Tumblr so please be nice, and if you enjoyed it, like and comment

Everything hurt. My head, my eyes, my chest, my mind. I don't even know what happened. One minute I'm perfectly fine, having a good time with my friends, the next I'm in this situation.

Im sitting in the middle of my dorm on the floor, crying and sobbing over the smallest thing. I admit being stressed with everything going on in my life; with upcoming school exams , training every single day to improve my ultimate moves, and the biggest clicher... my dad's passing a couple months prior.

This whole time I've just been bottling it all up, trying my hardest to put up a brave front as to not worry my mom, who already has a lot on her plate, my friends and boyfriend, Kirishima. To be frank, I haven't even told my class or Kiri, keeping a bright smile as to not hint them in on my life crashing down around me. Some days are easy to keep up my smile, to let my mind focus on something else, and then there are harder days when everything reminds me of my dad.

I was real close to him, we did a lot of fun stuff together; going to amusement parks, going out to see movies we both were really excited to watch, going out to eat at our favorite restaurants.

It still doesnt feel real after all this time. It felt just like yesterday he was perfectly fine, we were celebrating my grandma's birthday, and literally the next day, I find him stiff and eerily still in his bed. And then everything crashing down on me as the paramedics regretfully tell me that my dad was no longer of this world, when I sob into the phone to my mom that my dad was gone, when I listened to my grandma's wails as my mom told her of her son's passing.

It all felt so surreal, like if I go over to see my grandma at her house, I'll see my dad sitting there in the living room, greeting me with his smile and warm hugs and kisses.

I sob harder as I remember all the times we watched Disney movies and me crying at some scenes as my dad happily comforts me. Buying me a toy from one of the movies I adored at the time. Him gifting me a puppy when he moved into a new neighborhood and I didnt have anyone to play with.

My head's pounding, a deep pressure in my brain, as I clutch tightly to the same doll he bought me all those years ago. My screams silent as I try to keep my classmates from finding me in such a pathetic state and worrying about me, my brain not processing that everyone was still at school. I fought to take control of my emotions again, wanting to be strong for my mom, grandma, and my friends. Unknowning of the pace of my breathing as I desperately tried to grasp my emotions.

My stress and anxiety climbing higher with each panicked breath. All those late nights I stayed up studying as much as I can for the midterm exams, catching up to me. I even forsaken eating as to study so I can at least get a passing grade. And the times I didnt spend studying was spent training to try and get my mind to focus on anything rather than fully face the reality that I no longer live in a world with my dad in it.

When was the last time I had a fulfilling meal? Three days?? And the time before that?? I dont even remember, the pounding in my head preventing me from thinking too much. All I can think about is what caused this stupid meltdown in the first place, my frustrations climbing higher with my stress and anxiety.

~~~

Today was one of those days where it was hard to keep up my smile for people. In an attempt to cheer myself up, I made myself the same lunch my dad and I used to make together for later, excited to eat as this was my first actual meal in days.

As I stroll down the hallways to meet up with Kiri and the rest of the BakuSquad, someone in a rush, bumps into me full force, causing me to fall and drop my lunch on the floor. I only had a moment to grieve as I see my precious lunch splattered all over the floor before the person that bumped into me uttered a measly, rushed "sorry" before hurrying on their way, stepping my lunch in the process.

I stayed there in my position on the floor, looking at my lunch with grief. I know it was stupid to start crying over something that can be replaced with something else that Lunch Rush made, but there the crocodile tears were. My heart and mind had wanted that lunch.

Without thinking I got up and ran out of school and towards the dormitories, deaf to the calls of my fellow 3A classmates and the incoming call on my phone.

~~~

I was brought back to the present by the sound of pounding coming from my dorm door. I was still fighting for control, not able to send a reply without my sobs mixing in with my voice.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" A familiar voice sounded through the door. Of course it would be Kiri to be checking up on me. "I tried calling you to see where you were, but you didn't answer. Tsuyu told me she saw you running off upset when I went to go looking for you."

For some reason I sobbed harder, barely able to keep quiet.

"Princess/Prince, please tell me what's wrong, I'm getting really worried."

He stayed quiet for a moment, anxiously waiting for my response. And of course my body betrays me when an ugly sob wracks through my very being, unable to quiet it down.

"Princess/Prince, are you crying?!" Kiri's voice carried his panic and worry. "I'm coming in!" He warned before slamming the door open.

I barely raised my head to meet his worried crimson eyes as his giant frame took up most of the doorway, frozen. His expression falls at the sight of the giant crocodile tears running down my face, distress written all over my expression.

Without saying anything, he rushed over to my side, his big, warm hand landing on my back, immediately rubbing gentle circles as to comfort me.

"Baby, what's wrong? Tell me," he asked, voice trying to soothe me. I shook my head, unable to say or utter a word and I dropped my head again, breathing erratic. "You're hyperventilating, baby. You need to try and calm down a bit."

More sobs was the only thing I responded with. Hearing some shuffling, a moment passed before a soft calming melody sounded through the storm in my mind, along with the sound of gentle falling rain. It was the same several hour music track that I would usually listen to when something was bothering me.

I've always loved the sound of falling rain and ocean waves.

Kiri dropped his phone to the floor, letting the music wrap us in its soothing melody. He brought his hand to my cheek to gently bring my face up and face him. His expression sad as he gets a better look at my distraught, of the crocodile tears streaming down my face, of the deep sadness in my eyes.

Letting his other hand to join my face, he gently wiped away my tears as I tried to control my breathing. "Baby, you have to calm down. It's okay now, I'm here," he said in a gentle voice, bringing me up onto his lap, and wrapping his strong arms around me.

I clutch onto his uniform jacket, burying my face into his chest as I sobbed away, ruining his uniform with my tears and snot.

He gently rocked the both of us, bringing one of his hands up to my head as he softly brushed his fingers through my hair. "Shhh, baby. It's okay. It's okay," he whispered in my ear.

I don't know how long we sat there, listening to falling rain, Kiri rocking us, whispering calming words into my ear before my breathing was back to normal and my sobs turning into sniffles. Even long after I've calmed down, Kiri still held onto me tightly, grounding me from the storm whirling in my mind.

Only when I lifted up my head from his chest to look up at him did he give me a soft smile, reaching up to brush away strands of hair from my face and eyes. Then, Kiri reached over to his phone, pausing the music before turning back to me.

"Feeling better?"

I slowly nodded my head, my voice hoarse as I finally managed to give a reply, "Yeah, a little bit."

"What happened back there?" Kiri asked, his brow furrowed in worry.

Tears were already welling up in my (e/c) eyes, my bottom trembling as I fought to hold back the tears. Kiri reached up one hand to hold my chin, his thumb softly brushing my bottom lip.

"Please baby, I hate seeing you so distraught," he told me, eyes full of concern as he continued to stroke my bottom lip, as if trying to coax the words to come out, to explain what was paining me so much so he can fix it.

"I-" I stuttered, sniffling back the tears. "I miss him."

"Miss who, baby?" Kiri asked, confused.

"M-my dad," I said, voice now shaky as the tears started falling again. "I m-miss him so much."

Kiri seemed to come to the conclusion that I might have only been extremely homesick. "Why dont you go visit him today then? It's Friday, so you can just stay with him for the weekend."

I violently shook my head. "I-I can't."

"Why not, baby?" He started stroking my back again to try and comfort me.

"H-he died! Two months ago!" I sobbed, pressing my face to his chest again.

"Oh fuck. Shit, I am soo sorry baby. Why didn't you tell me?" Kiri asked, hugging me tightly to him. "I would've been there for you."

"I-I didn't w-want to w-worry y-you," I cried.

Kirishima started rocking us both again, his grip on me tighter as if trying to hold me together. "Of course I'm going to be worried baby. I have been worried about you. I noticed you've been distancing yourself for a while now, but I didn't want to make you talk when you weren't ready. God, I'm so unmanly, not realizing that you were in so much pain all this time." He placed his hand on top of my head. "I am sooo sorry, baby."

I sniffled, shaking my head. "D-Don't be. I w-was the one who d-decided not to t-tell any of you g-guys. I-it's not your f-fault."

"But why didn't you tell us baby? You know we all would've been here for you."

I shrugged. "I-I just wanted to be s-strong for y-you guys. I d-didn't want to w-worry any of you."

"Oh, babe." He pulled back enough to look at me. "You are strong. But it's okay to lean on us, on mee. Just because you're crying, doesn't make you weak. You're mourning, and its okay to cry when you're mourning. It just shows how close you are with your dad and how much you're missing him."

"But... But it feels like my fault though," I cried.

"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed again in confusion.

"I... I was there that night. The night he passed." I wiped at the tears even though it was fruitless with how the tears continued to fall. "We were all happily celebrating my grandma's birthday. We were all laughing. And I went to sleep a bit late that night. I noticed how his was position in his bed when I got up to use the bathroom, but I didnt think any of it. My dad sits in that position sometimes, and I know that he goes to sleep way later than me. And when I woke up at 11 the next morning because of my grandma calling for me, I got up to see what she needed. You remember, that my grandma cant really move around that well anymore?" I asked him.

Kiri nodded his head, remembering that I helped my grandma when the two of us had dinner with my dad and grandma. "So when I got up and headed towards her room, I saw my dad in the same position. But figured he must've just fallen asleep... Then I went to use the bathroom after helping my grandma, and when I looked closer, I noticed how swollen his feet were. I... I knew my dad was always sick and his legs getting swollen all the time, but... I-I just didnt think I'd find him like that." I cried, covering my mouth as another sob wracked threw me. "Vomit... All over the blankets and his bierd... A blood clot hanging from his nose-"

"Shhh, its okay, baby" Kiri hushed me, rubbing my back, "If it's too much for you, you don't have to explain anymore."

After waiting for my breathing to stabilize again, I continued, "I... I just feel like if I had checked up on him before I went to bed... Maybe... Maybe the paramedics would've been able to save him..."

Kiri grabbed onto my shoulders to pull me away so as to look me dead in the eyes with a stern look. "Y/n, listen to me. It is not your fault," he said firmly. "Okay? It is not your fault. Sometimes these things happen."

"But-" I started, but he cut me off.

"No but's. Okay? I know I havent known him as long as you, but I could tell from the first time I met him that he was soo proud of you. And probably still is." His words made me cry harder, my bottom lip trembling again as I tried to pull myself together in front of this amazing man in front of me. "There's no need to beat yourself up over this," Kiri said, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I started bawling my eyes out again. Kiri started rocking us again, holding me tight as I let out all my sadness and anguish.

"Shhhh... It's okay... Everything's will be okay..." He mumbled in my ear. "Let it all out."

We stayed like that for the next hour as I let out all my suffering, the scent of his cologne, the comforting words, and the sound of the music track all lulling me to sleep, my mind and body too heavy to fight it off.

~~~

I woke up to a dark room, the sun long gone over the horizon. I blearily blinked my eyes open, feeling my tears dried over the skin of my cheeks. All of a sudden, a warm hand slides under my shirt, rubbing a thumb on my stomach. A face was then buried into the back of my neck, a soft pair of lips kissing at the skin.

"Morning beautiful/handsome," came Kiri's sleep filled voice

"Mmnn what time is it?" I mumbled.

Kiri pulled away for a moment, turning to reach behind him for presumably his phone on my nightstand. Squinting at the glare of the phone, Kiri gave me an answer, "7 o'clock at night, so its just about dinner time." Dropping his phone back onto the nightstand, he resumed his position of spooning me, completely dwarfing my body with his giant frame. "You haven't ate lunch right?"

I shook my head. "Or breakfast. Or dinner last night. Or any meals for the past few days."

"What?" Kiri shot up, glaring down at me. "And the time before that?"

I shrugged, my brain too drained to think of a solid answer. "Couple days."

"Y/n!"

"I know, I know. I shouldn't be skipping my meals everyday. I should eat at least once a day."

"Is that why you look thinner? Cause you've been skipping your meals??!"

I shrug at him. "I was busy studying for the midterms. Besides I never went 3 days without eating something."

"That's not the point!" Kiri rubbed his hand down his face before looking at me with worry. "You shouldn't be skipping any meals or overworking yourself like this." He reached over to brush a lock of hair away. "Babe, my heart hurts at the thought of you not taking care of yourself."

I place my hand on top of his, leaning into his touch. "I know... I'm sorry. I didnt mean to worry you like this. I just... couldn't come to terms with reality so I busied myself to make me forget the pain. On the bright side I came up with this new, awesome ultimate move I've been dying to show you," I said with some excitement, trying to cheer him up.

He scowled sternly at me for a moment before sighing, shaking his head, any trace of worry and frustration gone from his face as a small smile took over his lips. "Alright fine." But then the stern look came back as he firmly told me, "But I'm not letting you skip any meals anymore, even if I have to force you to eat. And you're not doing no studying or training this weekend."

"Wait, but-" I tried to counter, stopped when the stern look in his eyes intensified.

"No if's, and's or but's. Unless its yours up in the air as I fuck you so hard you wont be able to do anything this weekend but relax."

I blushed and swallowed loudly. "Good, now wait here while I go get you a plate. Bakugou's supposed to be cooking tonight." He leaned down to plant a kiss on my lips. Then another. Then another and another before pulling away only slightly to look into my eyes with that familiar dark look in his eyes, a smirk forming on his handsome face. "Maybe I should grab you two plates. You're going to need it for fuel for tonight."

My faced burned as I realized what he meant. He chuckled darkly before standing up and walking towards the door. "I'll be back in a few. And you better be stripped down to nothing by the time I get back." Turning back towards me with a seductive look. "Don't you worry about a thing, baby girl/boy. Daddy's going to take real good care of you this weekend." Then he opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

I gulped loudly, already feeling that familiar heat down below.

It was going to a long weekend.

#gender neutral #anguish #daddy kirishima #mentally drained #kirishima eijiro x reader #my hero academia

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galactichelium · 2 years

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ahh sorry if this is kinda intruding but i wanted to add my thoughts to your post abt passing as neurotypical. rant following:

i have adhd, and although im unsure if im actually autistic, i do have a lot of overlap w my adhd and i also have other problems like a relatively severe anxiety disorder-- i have inattentive type adhd and ive been masking since a really young age, so we didnt even know i have adhd until fairly recently in the grand scheme of things, which opened my eyes to the reason why i struggled. i struggled (and still do) a lot with homework, focusing, staying on task, but because i present really nt and normal looking and omly struggle when i have no one keeping me on task (like being in a school setting. this was something i realized really impacted me when we had an all remote year.) most people didnt think i needed extra help. and yeah, i am mostly capable on my own, and decently intelligent, but teachers and school staff only cared when it was impacting my school performance. since passing as neurotypical made me appear like a normal, honour roll worthy student, they didnt even wonder if i struggled until my grades tanked during an all remote year, or my separation anxiety spiked during 3rd grade and i left early a lot during the school day. and i guess my point is just, like, it fucking sucks that nd kids who aren't visibly neurodivergent, or function well on their own, are suddenly like..exempt from having help. in 5th grade when i was assigned to the homeroom teacher that often got special ed kids, we were just happy because she was a really nice lady --but secretly i think the school thought i really was special ed, and just didnt have any paperwork, so just to be safe, they put me with an experienced teacher who handles a lot of struggling kids (a precaution made because id had 2 rough years prior). the school seemed really to only bother caring with that once it affected me -- because otherwise i was clearly fine on my own. and i guess partially, like, we just didnt even know i had adhd at the time, but it still sucks a decent deal that all because i looked normal and acted mostly normal, no one even tried doing anything. my brother, when he was a student at the same school, had to be tested for adhd because he struggled with schoolwork -- and then when i came along, (afab), all i was was a good, albeit quiet, student who struggled occasionally.

like. absolutely i think nd folks should be treated as capable -- we totally are! -- but also just. we need help sometimes. and its so sucky that we dont always have access to that, all because we Look Normal. hfhdjfhsh sorry this was really rambly, you dont have to post or answer this ask, i just wanted you to know that like. big agree on your post.

Yeah it's cool don't worry :O!

Seems like we had problems that were similar in some ways but different in others. Like for example, you said your school was pretty sure you needed special ed, whereas my school was the main one insisting that I didn't need it. My parents did agree of course, but you know. Also I was diagnosed with autism when I was 2, so they definitely knew something was up. It was just that later on when I got better at hiding it, they started thinking I didn't need any help. When they saw me struggling, they thought I was just being lazy. I was, up until grade 9, barely passing with my grades, so I guess because I was still technically passing, they didn't seem to think it was anything worth doing something about. I don't even think I present THAT neurotypically, like, I was always bullied for being "weird". But I guess I pass well enough that I was frequently told by adults that I "didn't seem autistic". But yeah, masking is a huge part of it too, which I completely forgot to mention. Masking never completely hid everything for me to be fair (despite my efforts), but I definitely did hide the most autistic parts about myself.

But yeah. I think what went wrong with this line of faux-activism (aside from it Being faux-activism) abled people tried to do was that like... they became afraid of acknowledging that disabled people were still disabled. Like I mean this literally, I remember being told several times that I wasn't disabled, that I was "differently abled". They thought that it was somehow offensive to acknowledge that we struggle with things, due to ableism often being in the opposite direction, saying that disabled people can't do anything. Not to mention, they constantly speak on top of disabled people about their disabilities without even listening to us and think they're helping us by doing so.

#Anonymous #Long post

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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CRANES IN THE SKY | C. Jackson

Requested: Nope! I saw a fluff prompt that sounded great for Chris so this is what I came up with! Prompt — “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

WARNINGS: mentions of mental illness, sadness, depression, and “curse words”

YOU were going through it. Life was just becoming a lot for your teenage self and it seemed like this week would never end. It partly felt like everyone was out to get you but you were really just having a bad week and in the back of your mind, you hoped that the next would be better...yet you didn’t even want to think that far ahead. As of a few hours ago you were allowing your self to sit in your funk of your Crenshaw home until Chris barged in making himself at home.

Working in retail felt emotionally and mentally abusive but hey, you needed money to get by right? You were tempted to quit after a month of being there but your mother persuaded you to toughen it out and not let them get to you. ‘Or maybe it was easier for her to say so, so that you wouldn’t be coming to her as much for some cash.’ You bitterly thought.

On top of that, you were getting hours in over time since there were three situations going on with your co-workers. One: was fired due to stealing money from the safe in the stock room, since one of the assistant managers didn’t fully close it, two: got arrested for god knows what— you didn’t care for the drama but it was common knowledge Julio’s ass was gone, and third: got injured on the job and would be out for 6 months. So the work load fell on the remaining three. Only 6 employees in retail...make it make sense. Not only that the customers were more whiny and quick to point the finger than usual and it takes a lot for you to step out of character! but you did.

You had it. So you went into a screaming match, which wasn’t expected of you but it happened. The store manager did not have your back and blamed you in front of the customer since, “the customer is always right,” motto was heavily encouraged and a part of you HOPED he was just doing that for show and would apologize later but nope! He stood by wtf he said and put you on punishment when it was clear that the customer was not right.

So instead of sending you home and keeping you away from the place? He decided to give you more hours as if you’re the only one working there + kept you off the register so you could only interact with those on the floor. If he expected you to come in for five days straight while being a high school student? He was out of his damn mind. So you called out the three of the five days you were supposed to be there and didn’t care for his guilt trips. You deserved better and didn’t need to deal with this bs for only $11.11 an hour. You hoped he fired you.

Since you were working so much prior to the screaming match with that aggy customer, you were falling behind on your studies. Those pop quizzes came back as c+ to c- and your exams? Even lower. You were turning in homework half assed or not turning it in at all and normally you were a decent student with a B average. You weren’t overly thrilled about school but you did your best and did just fine at that.

You never saw yourself as someone who would go to college. Your mom or your step-dad didnt go and it was expected that you wouldn’t because of your background. Wasn’t that a shame? Crenshaw high could do a lot better at getting kids prepared for bettering their futures but they just wouldn’t put the time in to kids that wanted it or could accomplish it if they just had the right guidance.

It was really depressing and it was all starting to sink in at the end of your junior year of high school. You couldn’t just give up but you were having one of those days and wanted to be left alone. Which was partly what you had in your condominium complex with your step-sibs staying behind to attend after school activities with you having to pick them up from the bus stop by 5:15, your mother was working the night shift as a waitress, and your step-dad was away on “business.”

The quiet was interrupted by Chris making his way into your living room with you all curled up. He took one look at you and shook his head, “Nuh-uh, get up ya ass up, girl. You’ve been like this for what? Days now?”

Giving him the side eye, you rolled your body on the couch to put your back to him as you went to bury your head into the open s peace between the couch and cushion. “If you came here to start with me, you can leave the same way you came in.”

You were used to Chris getting into your house. You did lock your doors around here but Chris was surprisingly good at getting through things which related a lot to his life I guess you could say. The guy overcame a lot especially learning how to walk again after almost being paralyzed. You and Chris grew up together, and were actually friends first before Spencer, Coop, and Shawn came into the picture. Your mother’s were the best of friends and got pregnant around the same time, with Chris being only a few months older than you, which he likes to rub in to get on your nerves.

“And you can keep that stank ass attitude to yourself, get up mama this ain’t no way to be.” You could feel the weight of Chris sitting on the couch behind you.

He was now poking you, probably trying to find your ticklish spot but if you start swinging then you’re the bad guy right?

Chris knew you like the back of his hand and vice versa. He knew all about how your week was going and how you’ve been skipping class to do whatever it is that you do, since you did have one class together.

“Alright look, when I was away—

He always considered his recovery as, “away,” almost as if it pained him to say that, which you understood by all means, but Chris could just call it what it was. He was strong, he made it through but you noticed in the way he played now was more cautious. He was in his head which was common with sports injuries apparently. You noticed with Spencer he would normally react after the stress of the game or something that brought on the stress. He also probably thought you had no clue what was going on with him, but he was also one of your besties so of course you knew. You just never said anything.

Now it was you who was going through a little something and needed someone to bring you out of it, whether you said it or not. And here Chris was. As always.

“You know I was a completely different person—

“Yeah, you were a fresh asshole.” You commented, remembering those moments quite clearly since it was you and Olivia who tried to be there. He only seemed to let you be there, especially after he broke up with Olivia over text. Which you laid into his ass about.

Which made Chris breathe out a laugh pressing his elbows into his knees, “you’re not wrong. And I’m forever sorry about that but you knew I was going through some dark shit. And I can see you’re partly there but you don’t need to sit in it.”

“Okay, Iyanla. What would you like for me to do?” You asked twisting your body to the side to finally look at the mocha skinned boy.

Chris smiled with his pretty teeth, “maybe take a shower? ‘Cause this bum energy I’m getting from you right now is not cute and I know underneath all that, you’re not half bad.”

A foot went out to kick him pretty hard but he tried and failed to doge it with a laugh. “Nah. But for real though, you got to find something that’s gonna keep you sane. Find something even if it’s not permanent that’ll keep your mind active and out of the dark, cause once you completely slip into it, it’s hard to get out of. Trust me.”

You knew Chris was on anti-depressants for a little while and how he called you flipping out that his mother even agreed that it would be a good idea. In the black community it was not a common thing to speak about your mental health, it was non-existent and you were expected to “get over it,” to not think like that because we are made to be tougher than what we are and it shouldn’t be like that. We should be able to feel our emotions and admit when something is troubling us.

And Chris’ mother thought that was what was best for her son. And you saw how vile of a person Chris became when he thought everything was over for him. That was not the Chris Jackson you knew, he was headstrong, compassionate when he wanted to be, and ambitious. So to see him like that was hard.

So here he was for you even though your emotions right now probably wasn’t that deep but again, you were trying to be more in touch with your emotions. Both of the adults in your life were slightly cold so it rubbed off on you a little bit of course, until it was brought out of you. Your father was the most loving and as a kid you used to be that way, with a warm prescence and a belly full of laughter. Now you were full of small smiles and cold stares.

However your main friends: Chris, Spencer, Coop, and even Shawn know/knew who you are even if you’re different now.

You don’t know how long you sat in silence but once Chris started to annoyingly snap his fingers in front of your face, You snapped out of it and smacked his hand down; slowly you sat up on your uncomfortable couch and took a deep inhale.

Then you moved through the cramped apartment to your bedroom and bathroom grabbing a few things. When you came back Chris was also entering from the kitchen with two plastic cups, eyeing the items in your hand. “What’s going on with that?”

You plopped the large pillow in front of the couch, held your hand out for the cup which Chris handed over, and you took a large gulp to taste cran-peach. Chris moved to place his own cup on the coaster and went over to the window to crank up the A/C before he glanced back over at you still awaiting a answer.

“You’re telling me to find my peace? I’ve always wanted to be a stylist, so I’m going to perfect my craft.” You answered sitting on the couch with a crack of your neck.

Chris thought this over and blew out a raspberry. Then he moved to sit in between your legs on the floor, “Alright, y/n. I’ll be your first client. But I’m tellin’ you right now if you braid too tight where my edges look eaten, I’m out the door.”

A smile graced your lips as Chris grabbed his cup and remote to turn the tv on, “so what we watching to keep me entertained?”

Shrugging your shoulders you held the rat tail comb in your hand while using the other to run your fingers through Chris’ coarse hair that he was deciding to grow out. Chris got himself comfortable resting against your legs as you decided which side of the head you wanted to start on first before you began parting and sectioning off his hair.

You were going to give him some cornrows so you had to make sure everything was even and not look crazy. You were decent at braiding, you often did your step-sis’ hair since your mother no longer had time to do it and she sure did have a lot of hair. It gave you some sense of satisfaction, you taking on the older sibling role and gave you the time to bond.

Chris finally found something after twenty minutes and was yelling at the tv which made you mess up the grip on the fourth row. “If you don’t stop moving and let me braid your hair...hold your head right or I’m gonna pop you!” You threatened.

“This is triggering me back to my aunties, specifically aunt Henrietta’s ol’ mean ass.” Chris mumbled the last bit as he flinched making you laugh a little bit, remembering the name and the picture of the woman with the large mole on her pointy chin.

She lived in Maryland and had a beauty salon that Chris’ mom would always take a trip down there to get their hair done, if they had a special event to go to. It didn’t make sense to you or your mother since there were a few good shops here in Crenshaw or rather—girls and boys that did hair out of their homes around but Mrs. Jackson wanted to support her great aunt so by all means...

You gripped his hair again tight but not too tight to begin the braid, “I’m gonna add beads so everyone around school can call you hurricane chris.”

“...that’s real foul. You’re about to make me not support your dreams anymore, I’m dead serious.” Chris replied making you laugh, which made him smile at the sound.

You briefly glanced up to watch a scene on whatever show or film Chris was watching and raised your eyebrow not knowing what was going on or who these characters were but it was definitely engaging.

Chris nudged your knee with his shoulder after you fell silent again, “feel better?” He asked, moving AGAIN to meet your eyes.

“yeah, a little. Thanks.” You scrunched up your nose and stuck your tongue at him.

After awhile your alarm went off letting you know it was time for you to leave and get ready to get the kiddos. As you both got up, Chris went to the mirror to check out your handiwork while you snapped a few pictures before making your way to the door, taking the keys from the side table as you went.

“Y/N...you said would make me look good.”

“Uh huh?”

“Then tell me why...the hell you got me looking like ODB?” Chris’ deep set brows held a deep frown on them as he glanced at his childhood friend who innocently peered back at him.

You shrugged as you threw the door open, “i never said I’d be the best hair stylist out there, plus you wouldnt stop moving your big ass head. I told you to sit still! And did you listen? Noooooo.”

Chris licked his lips looking down as he folded his hands together before his eyes flicked up, “ok. I’m on your ass!”

You yelped as dashed out the door, laughter in your lungs as Chris chased you down the narrow hallway, hot on your trail.

#all american #all american x reader #chris jackson #Spencer Moore ii #Chris Jackson x reader #Chris x Olivia #spencer james #tamia cooper #all american cw

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