#long like... really deeply upsets me. i even just see them and im just sort of. suffering a little bit for most of the rest of the day.

[diabolikpersonals]

sorry for such a broad question but in your opinion is laito a well written character relative to everyone in diabolik? i really Want to learn more about him but i also dont want to subject myself to All That and i just want to know if he's worth reading about or just a pile of interesting plot threads thrown together for shock factor and unfulfilled thematically.

like my current personal opinion (may be wrong) is that i dont feel satisfied with the idea of yui's love or proactiveness fixing laito in any way because it doesn't mesh well with the actual ideas surrounding his character and unpacking that love is not poison goes beyond romantic love or a singular place of understanding. additionally it doesn't feel earned it feels like a chore for the player to trudge though for the sake of reading. i dont want to read laito's story that bad if it's the case yet im intrigued by the things offered by his character like the processing of the deeply visceral way csa shatters who you are

I wanted to wait till I finished his CL to answer so I'd be fully caught up with laito's routes, but that'll take too long so.....!! I might change my answer later!! lmao

[tw laito stuff, csa and suicide, yeah]

I do think Laito's a well-written character but his stuff is really difficult to get through if you have certain triggers, so it's tough to recommend. Even beyond the csa stuff, Laito is in a real hurry to die and he makes several attempts throughout the series. There's a certain unique sort of awfulness, at least for me, involving scenes where a character fails a suicide attempt and then get even more upset and desperate about it. So I understand what you mean when you say you're not excited about putting yourself through it. They were the hardest routes for me to get through too :')

A lot of earlier games suffer from endings that are like "And the two lived happily ever after, and we're not gonna unpack all that stuff!" and Laito's routes are no exception, but if you can look past that and make it to LE, I wouldn't say that Laito gets fixed. He has an ending similar to Ayato's that's like, it feels like we fixed everything but in reality we couldn't overcome the core issue! They really seem to believe that Laito absolutely can't be happy or live a normal life the way he is now. He has to die and/or rewrite his memories to be comfortable loving someone. It's up to your tastes if that's satisfying or not, but I kind of love the bittersweetness of LE endings, and the way they feel like a happy ending until you think about them a little too hard.

What's interesting is that Yui's purehearted love often hurts Laito more than it helps him. He responds to love, from Yui or from his family members, with revulsion. There's jealousy when he interacts with straightforward characters like Yui or Ayato, like "If only I could be as simple and pure as you, but nope, I can't." He's very self-aware for a diaboy, which only makes it hurt more when he keeps arriving at the conclusion that he's rotten. He definitely makes progress, which is really satisfying to see, like how he gradually allows Ayato back in his life emotionally. But as of right now, the end of his arc is so, like, "I tried, really I did! But my perspective on love is fucked and I need a hard reset! Maybe I'll be normal in the next life but definitely not this one!! Bye!"

...So, it's hard to say if you'll be happy with it. I see a lot of mixed opinions concerning the LE endings. They often give the diaboy what he wants but not what he needs, so you're left going, "Wait, I don't know about this...!" A lot of people really hate these endings, but they actually get more interesting to me the more conflicted they make me feel...and oh boy, was I conflicted about this one! :'D

If it sounds interesting to you, too, and you don't mind some pretty brutal scenes along the way, give Laito's routes a try. His HDB will definitely make you mad though lol

#text

[wc-confessions]

Hi, I don’t usually come to confessions blogs for like mental health reasons but I’m the author of Follow Your Heart and i was told it was being discussed on here so I wanted to come talk about it myself.

I started writing the comic when I was in highschool, so I was a child myself. (I don’t remember my exact age, just that I remember drawing concept art while hanging out in my school’s library) That’s why the original “drama” thing was there between Mouseclaw and Sootpaw. Spottedleafs Heart came out and it was so bad that it made me re-examine that part of the story. Warriors romantizes relationships with age gaps like Soot and Mouse all the time, hence why I probably didn’t think anything of it back then. (See: Dustfern, Bramblesquirrel)

Yes, there are scenes where it’s implied the characters have had sex. There is absolutely nothing explicit however, and I have some bad news for the original anon about how babies were made if they’re that upset about it, because literally every child born in the series implies the characters had sex lol. Its even implied Daisy and Spiderleg had a one night stand! (He specifically says their kits were an accident!)

I also don’t appreciate the implications of what they were saying as someone who was traumatized by actual zooporn w real animals as a young child. That kind of thing is exactly the reason I don’t post or advertise my comic on twitter or tumblr, I knew I’d get accused of that shit. Idk if the original anon is reading this but please think about what you say before you say it :/

I’m a human being and I’m not perfect. But I like to think I’m doing okay, since multiple CSA survivors have shared their stories in my comments and thanked me for making the comic (im not trying to toot my own horn, im simply stating facts- i dont want to pat my own ass or anything) and I also had a CSA survivor as a beta reader of the comic.

I don’t think Spottedleaf experienced actual sexual abuse if that’s what the other anon was implying, I just think that the story was a VERY bad example of grooming and it was what inspired me to do better.

 I’m doing this specifically because if there is the BAREST fucking chance I can educate a kid and keep them out if this situation, I want to take it. I feel incredibly strongly about this topic and that’s why I wanted to do something about it. I said this in a page description, but I was provided very little education on this in school, in fact I can only concretely remember one video and I have a vague idea that there was one other thing I was shown to educate about CSA- compared to the abstinence-only sex education that was drilled in my head from like, 6th to 9th grade. I’m just a blip in the sea of warcats comics on dA, but I can at least try my best to help where I can.

I have a warning page up that talks about the subject matter which is what I’m sure you saw, but I go a little more in depth in the description of chapter 5’s cover.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I genuinely deeply appreciate you not immediately trying to crucify me when that anon came to your inbox. Like I said, there’s a reason I don’t advertise on tumblr. I really really appreciate you taking a neutral stance until you knew more. Thank you, it means a lot. :) sorry for the very long ask, haha.

thank you for your response and its no problem. in these sorts of situations its always best to pretty much get your own info so i took it very seriously. im very sorry about all that and dont hesitate to lmk if youd rather not be spoken about on here i'd completely understand.

#trying my best to minimize talk about creators anyway since lately they get out of hand or people spread misinfo #atp i just think its the right thing since Most ppl cant rlly handle simple discussions #not a confession #text #asks #nitethekitten #really sorry you had to come over here :[

[dissociativemagicalgirl]

on Media Related To Trauma If You Like That Sort Of Thing;

watched skinamarink last night & the short film it was based off, Heck, a few minutes ago. WOW. really deeply upsetting stuff.

skinamarink was alright, but heck really feels like it's fucking me up right now. it's the distilled vibes of an experience ive forgotten for a long time: the quiet terror of being a small child alone with an emotionally unavailable parent. and WOW WOW WOW does it do a Job at that.

i feel like some parts that i have little awareness of have been activated by this movie. i cant really put into specifics the way it's making me feel & the experiences i'm remembering now. mostly about being alone as a kid and being very, very scared. purposely doing good things or breaking the rules hoping your parents will notice. trying to take care of yourself but being too little to. etc etc etc.

im not really sure what to categorize this specific horror as, where like, i feel like different horror media will have different "types" of fear. this one just made me feel very sick and sad and upset. not really afraid, but feeling a lot of dread.

i think this post is one part warning and one part recommendation LOL. both heck & skinamarink are likely going to cause your Neurons To Start Fuckin' Firing if youve experienced childhood neglect. if you had any plans on checking them out and you know that these are going to negatively affect you, watch out. Beware, even. these are topics that normally aren't very activating for me, but both skinamarink & heck did a superb enough job that like... It got me good! It fuckin got me!

if youre like me & you find that kind of thing cathartic, id cautiously recommend it. give yourself a couple of good cries and a few nights of weird dreams if you think it'll help. im gonna bring this up with my therapist next time i see her bc they both do such a good job at describing The Experience.

[schizopositivity]

hello, very sorry for the essay this turned into, but how do I explain to the people in my life that knowing that my life isn’t easy right now isn’t harder than struggling with hallucinations?

I’m trying very hard to look at it from their perspectives because I don’t know what it’s like to watch a loved one hear voices. It’s just very confusing to be simultaneously told that my experience is difficult to understand and that they are so deeply empathetic towards my situation that they don’t want me to ever complain bc it makes them feel bad and all they want is to see me happy. But that just makes me feel like I’m not allowed to be anything but happy, which means I’m not allowed to be honest

Describing them this way is doing them a disservice. I know they mean well and that they respect me. but isn’t it also true that I’m allowed to want to feel supported and respected?

it’s just stressful to me when everyone is so so confused by me and my condition when I feel like I explain myself every single week and tell them precisely what to look up (which they do! They do look up anything I ask them to, it’s just that they then turn around and say that they’re spending hours doing research only to never visibly out those strategies into practice)

Maybe they’re just overwhelmed and/or feel like I’m trauma dumping on them bc my friends and family aren’t professionals. Should I apologize for that? it’s just very isolating when every time I’m honest about how I’m doing, they say that I should pursue professional help even though I am in therapy

I feel like this comes across as me having really unsupportive friends and family, but this is only the least flattering facet of the story and I don’t think I was terribly articulate about it either.

my goal is to maintain these relationships, but I’d like to improve them by communicating. I just don’t know what to say or even if this is fair to bring up. It sort of feels like in this situation is doing their best and everyone is failing a little. Any advice?

no need to apoligize! i appreciate asks no matter how long they are

i think it would be important for you to try and understand what support you need or want. like do you just want to be listened to with no advice? do you want them to try to do things to help you? do you want to be able to be honest and talk about the bad stuff without them telling you its hard for them?

because once you figure that out, you can tell them what you like

i think for me i like to open up to people and just have them listen and not try to give advice, that way i can just vent and let it all out, and not have to worry about them saying something they think is helpful, that really just upsets me, cause if people odnt understand they try to sum it up in the wrong way, or try to get you to look on the bright side, and i dont like either of those replies

thats great that youre in therapy, maybe if you notice what you like about therapy or how the therapist talks to you about things, you could ask them to do something similar, like i learned from therapy that i like to be told im safe when i start to panic, and my partner knows that so they tell me that when they notice me panicing

you could let them know that you talking about the bad stuff actually is helpful, and its worse to keep it bottled up inside, that you cant be happy all the time (no one can) and that you need to be able to express yourself to process and work through it

i know these people love and care about you, but if they dont understand its easy for them to say or do the wrong thing, that doesnt make them bad people just a little ignorant, but it also doesnt make you a bad person for not liking the things they say or do, its totally okay for you to ask for what you want or need from them, no one is bad here, there just needs to be some more honest communication

#answered

[toomuchdickfort]

...this is just a vent/rant post, don’t mind it

#hhhhhhhi fuck feelings amiright #you know #that thing where youre watching youtube and then someone mentions crying in a bathroom and you zone out for fifteen minutes before realizing #you cant write a proper vent scene with it because all the vent characters from that area in life arent there anymore and i care about them #too much to put them back or anything but i also cant do as effective of a vent scene unless ive got an emotional attachment and #basically feelings are bullshit and i dont want to have to figure out to deal with them #so i #being the Totally Definitely For Sure Healthy Responsible person i am #im just gonna #continue to let youtube autoplay and hope that it doesnt get too much worse #*uncomfortable fingerguns* #*also schedules this for hoirs later bc while i typed it someone commented on a similar complaining post from yesterday* #yo editing shit from the queue box. because yeah. time to Complain and hope it helps even though i shpuld be working on dinner. its 8. #i should have started something two hours ago. but im just. uncomfortable enough that the thought of eating just. really sucks. #but. the thing i really wanted to put into writing? #one of the worst reasons to me about the situation with my dad and his wife is that. i feel really bad about it. thinking about them for too #long like... really deeply upsets me. i even just see them and im just sort of. suffering a little bit for most of the rest of the day. #and i cant even name why. #i have about four instances that i can list if someone asks what they did wrong... but thats it. because anything else just... seems small. #and most of that is tara starting something and dad joining from what i can remember #i shouldnt have been glad that she started smoking again senior year but... dad would be willing to talk about things after. her hoing outsi #de to smoke gave me a chance to. try and share a bit if my side of things. #like it takes me really working myself up to be able to pull up a few instances where they did something wrong but by that point im in tears #and that means i’m ‘being too emotional to have a rational conversation’ #actually #fuck the sceduling for later im posting this to rant in the comments because if i run out of tags im not going to be able to do anything for #quite a while

[teeth--eater]

dont think im gonna use this scene, and its a shame to go to waste, so heres a deleted scene from ranboos interlude :] its completely unedited, so. you know. mispellings abound. im not very good at spelling

Tubbo smiles at him when he walks in, gestureing him to sit next to him. Ranboo smiles back, a bit timidly, and takes the seat to the left of Tubbo, leaving the late crewmate's seat empty.

A plate is set down in front of Ranboo by Phil. Ranboo thanks him queity and starts eating. He's been especially hungry these past few days, all this stress is starving him. Phil gives him an amused look at his hunger and Ranboo makes an effort to slow down.

"So, what does the ICA have you doin' Ranboo?" Tubbo asks, breaking the silence and making Ranboo jump a little.

"Here?" Ranboo squeaks. Tubbo laughs.

"Yeah here," Tubbo says.

"Oh, I'm really just here to make sure you guys arent like...criminals? Or at least not putting Tubbo in any danger."

Phil's wings puff up slightly.

"Why are they sending (I)you to check for danger?" Phil says, voice suddenly hard. Ranboo looks down, embarrassed.

"Oh, not like that Ranboo," Phil says hurriedly. "I just mean, why would they send a student to make sure another student is safe? That would put both of you in danger."

Ranboo picks at his food.

"Well, uh- I kinda couldn't say no? Like- I could have, but if they told me later that I had said yes I wouldve belived them, you know my- my memory. Besides I- I dont do super good in my classes and they-"

Ranboo takes a breath and hopes the others dont notice how his voice is shaking.

"I think they wanted me out of the way." Ranboo says thinly. The table is silent, but Ranboo doesn't look up from his food to see their expressions. Horrror slowly rises into panic. (I)Why had he said (I)any of that? They didn't ask for his life story!

Wilbur stands up, slamming his hands on the table and stomping away. Ranboo sinks further in his seat, wanting to sink into the ground and disappear. Techno makes a strange huffing sound that Ranboo is (I)pretty sure means anger, and clears his throat. Ranboo looks up at him warily. The captain's wings are partially spread behind him, though he doesn't seem to be aware of the threat display.

"You dont deserve to be taken advantage of, Ranboo," Phil says sternly, then lets out a frustrated hiss. "Fuck me, once it gets out that the school is using disabled students as their canon fodder there'll be an uproar."

Ranboo shoots to his feet.

"No! The school has good people, I'm just- I'm stupid, a waste of resources-" Phil rises too, almost comically shorter than the enderian, though his wings are fully expanded, each tip nearly brushing the opposite walls in the dining room. Ranboo shrinks back.

"Who is telling you this?" Phil asks, deadly calm. Ranboo's tail curls around his leg nervously.

"No one," Ranboo whispers. Phil steps forward.

"Ranboo, what is going to happen to you when you go back?"

Ranboo breaks.

"They're going to kick me out," Ranboo chokes out, hands coming up to hide his face. "I dont- my haunting kicked me out too- I was- I couldn't hunt because I got lost and- and I couldn't do (I)anything right! I wont- I wont have anywhere to go."

"Ranboo, I'm going to talk to the school," Philza says, though the threatening undercurrent in his voice tells Ranboo there will be a little more than talking involved with that interaction. "We can figure this out, okay? Responsible adults may not be a concept you're used to, but you dont even have to worry, we'll handle it."

Ranboo takes deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He fails, his breathing is shuddering and too-fast, but he's still breathing, so he counts that as a win.

He might not be in a little bit if the embarrassment of what he'd just admitted kills him first, which is looking increasingly likely.

Ranboo looks in Phil's eyes, ignoring the immediate longing to break eye-contact, and sees nothing but honesty there. He nods.

"Okay."

__________________________

He tries to retreat back to his room after that, but is pulled out of his plan of moping with his head under a pillow by a hesitant knock on the door. Ranboo sighs deeply and gets up to answer it. It's not like he can ignore any of the crew, but he's had a pretty rough day and breakfast is barely over. Can't he just be left alone.

"It's bullshit that people take advantage of something you cant control," Wilbur says, voice steady. "Write down everything you want to remember as soon as it happens. People wont be able to lie to you anymore."

Ranboo opens the door to see Wilbur, and winces internally, wondering what he had done to upset the phantling this time.

"Hi Wilbur," Ranboo says nervously. Wilbur's tail is flicking, and he isn't looking at Ranboo, but he holds something out to the enderian all the same. Ranboo takes a step back, thinking, a bit hysterically, that it's a bomb of some sort.

With that vague statement, Wilbur walks back to the main body of the ship, leaving Ranboo staring after him. Once the phantling is fully gone, Ranboo turns around and sits at his desk.

Ranboo takes the book from Wilbur's hands, a bit shaky. He flips the pages open, revealing hundreds of pages of lined paper. He looks back up at Wilbur, eyes wide.

"This is for me?" He asks, awed. Wilbur nods, still looking a bit uncomfortable. The phantling closes his eyes and pushes his ears back, a gesture of apology if Ranboo is remembering right.

"I'm sorry I've been so... dickish." Wilbur says. "I- I've got a lot to protect."

He writes the date, the time, and then 'Wilbur gave me this journal and apologized'.

He stares down at the writing. The knowledge that he will be able to recall this fact, this thing that happened is... new. It's good.

Maybe really (I)can get better.

_________________

and cut! far too soon for resolution, weve got quite a bit more angst to slog through before we see the shore,

#human error #my writing #mcyt #dreamsmp au #dsmp #dsmp au #ill use tags for the bigger posts #ableism mention

[a-jynx]

:0 uh more Dream smp stuff?? cause y’all liked the other one??? (Georgenotfound edition & kinda long)

being Dream’s sister was rough already so imagine how tough life gets when you start dating one of his besties???

you met george through dream - obviously - and well.. putting it kindly, you hated each other. I mean, HATED each other! It always became a rivalry between you two, shooting down one another’s video ideas and never compromising until Sap or Dream stepped in.

“why do you hate him?” dream groaned as he watched you dislike ANOTHER Georgenotfound video. you glanced up at your freakishly tall brother before scoffing

“because he’s a spoilt brat and.. and he shouldn’t expect everyone to grovel like you do.” you scoffed, as Dream groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face.

“y/n,”

“nope, nuh-uh you green tellatubby i’m not befriending him.”

“you’ve been hanging out with techno and tommy on discord too much.. Anyway, just.. please TRY and get along with him? at least pretend for a little bit - the fans get all protective and will baby him before they defend you..” dream’s voice trailed as he sat next to you, making you huff.

“ofc they’d baby him.. and it’ll be fine - I’ll be fine, Clay! I’m a big kid, some trolls on the internet won’t upset me.” you grinned, wrapping an arm around your little brother’s shoulders. he rolled his eyes before poking his index into your ribs, causing you to yelp.

“okay, but i warned you and i’ll try and help if stuff gets too much, okay? remember you’re my sister.. i still worry about you.”

“okay, don’t get sappy you waking tree! we have a stream to start,”

which lead to now.. A Geoguesser and Jack Box stream with the Dream Team ft. y/nwasnttaken - it started out awesome! The chat was having a blast having their boys stream, the guys were happy to be streaming, and you were having a great time.. until George came after you for guessing the wrong country..

“seriously, y/n?? you were, like, a million miles away!” george snorted as sap and dream joined in the laughter, you sighed before faking a short laugh.

“please, you usually suck at this game and it was one bad guess while you’ve been guessing wrong foe the past five minutes.” you couldn’t hold back the slight venom in your voice as the discord grew an awkward silence as chat began to grumble about the sudden change in atmosphere.

“chill, y/n/n, i don’t think George had an real issue, right Gogy?” sap nervously chuckled, he knew just as well as dream that for some reason you and george were always at one another’s throat.

“yeah, i had to ill intent, it’s called playful banter, y/n lighten up, honey,”

“is this just go after y/n day or what? i don’t mean to be an asshole but you’ve been after me the entire stream! and maybe the fans and you guys don’t care, but it’s hard to act like im not affected by you constantly bashing me and then laughing when dream or sap - or even yourself - get it wrong!” you grew quiet once your piece was out in the air, your heart was pounding against your ribs and you felt like you were going to be sick. “i..”

“y/n/n,”

“no! no, it’s… im just going to go, you guys have a good stream.” you quickly exited the discord call, closing out of all your tabs and leaving yourself to stare at your shrunk form.. oh shit..

you grabbed your phone and opened Twitter, a mistake honestly, it was already trending.. clips, screenshots, and the #nightmareofasibling in the US. you gawked at the screen - tapping the hashtag, you should’ve listened to Dream..

‘i knew they were lousy but my god it’s a game..’

‘they always act like they’re better when they aren’t, poor gogy 💔😔’

‘i feel bad for dream and sapnap - they have to live with that 😳’

‘@y/nwasnttaken you disgust me and i can’t believe they even tolerate you. rot’

each @, each tweet was one wishing for your demise or saying that the dream team deserves better. maybe they’re right but you had a right to stand up for yourself! sure.. it was a over a geoguesser game but dealing with that for an hour in a half, anyone would be tired of it.

tears were already starting to drip as you hastily wiped at your cheeks, attempting to keep the water works at bay. it got harder when a ping went off from your phone, indicting another tweet was made at you. even with your blurred vision you frowned as @GeorgeNotFound popped up.

‘Regarding the stream, I do not hate y/n. Nor do I want hate sent to them. I will not tolerate any of my fans hating on one of my friends, it was partly my fault for antagonize them.

I care for them deeply and I hope they know how sorry I actually feel and the guilt rushing through me while I write this. I hope you can forgive me, sweets.. @y/nwasnttaken’

you hiccuped a laugh, a small smile breaking across your lips. you liked the tweet before heading to discord to find your messages had been blown up - Niki, Wilbur, and George had sent you multiple messages asking how you were. Selecting George’s messages, you grinned..

‘y/n?? hey come back to the stream’

‘i was kidding, come on, this is how we work..’

‘okay, i’m starting to get freaked out cause you’re not answering and twitter is spamming- shit i need to fix’

the messages had stopped for a few minute before a small video was sent, showing george in his recording room.

“y/n i’m honestly really sorry, it was dumb of me to keep poking at you when you looked and sounded like you didn’t like it - it’s just.. that’s how we’ve always been! i just.. please message me when you can? i know dream’s already pissed at me, and sap won’t stop threatening me to fix this now - even though they laughed too - BESIDES the point… just message me soon?” he sheepishly sent the camera a small smile, his cheeks and nose a slight red. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes before quickly typing him.

‘y’know i have half a mind to be pissed at you, but.. i’m sorry too. i should’ve have blown up at you or the others, especially on stream.. can - can we hop on call and sort this out?’

Gogster is typing… Popped up instantly, making a smile flash across your face. Suddenly a call chimed in, making you jump slightly before clearing your throat and answering the video call.

“Y/N!! Oh my god, you answered- ah, i’m so sorry I just, teasing each other and acting like we hate each other was always our act and I know i pushed it too far on stream,” George continued to ramble as you shook your head.

“George, Gogy you’re rambling..” you mumbled as he looked back at the camera, clearing his throat with a sheep smile on his face.

“uh, sorry.. look, can we just.. try again?” he muttered as you broke into a dazzling smile.

“we can, but I still get to call you Gogster..”

George broke into a loud laugh, you joining in with his contagious giggle. He nodded, clearing his throat again as he sighed gently.

“That’s all i ask, y/n.. but can i tell you something? dream and sap have been nagging me for the last couple of months to mention this..” His voice trailed as you nodded, rolling your shoulders and sinking further into your chair.

“i may not get along with you, British brat.. but you can always talk to me,” you smirk as George coughs out a laugh, shaking his head as you broke into a grin.

“you’re jealous that I have a hot accent, but seriously.. i.. Y/N I’ve liked you for a while and I’d like for us to try,” his voice trailed out as you blinked, staring at the dark brunette before giggling.

“i.. i actually have a trip coming up, to come see Niki and Wilbur.. I wouldn’t mind adding another person.” You trailed, sheepishly glancing at George as a large smile broke across his face, making you giggle as he quickly nods and laughs.

“Wait, really?! But- But we always- We.. Oh my gosh!” safe to say.. George was at a lost for words and you couldn’t help but be excited for these next two weeks to fly by..

and ofc dream and drista and sap made bets - dream bet you guys would date because of drama, drista just bet that you’d go on a date but would want to kill each other, and sapnap bet you guys would want to instantly date - some were more right than others, but in the end,.. Y/nistaken & Georgewasfound became trending and knocked the harmful trends down

#georgenotfound #georgenotfound imagine #georgenotfound x reader #gnf imagine #gnf #dream smp x you #dream smp x reader #dream smp #dsmp x y/n #dsmp #georgenotfound dsmp #mcyt gnf #hc???

[chickabee]

SoRRY I JUST WANNA FANGIRL ABOUT THE BLUES REAL QUICK

This ship is my HEART

I love them so much omg. I just wanna talk about them in the mth universe real quick okay? Okay.

I love how SBJ wrote Boomer.

I SINCERELY LOVE THE WAY SHE WROTE HIM.

Oh god. Im going back to my early 2012 days when i was obsessed with fanimations of the Powerpuff girls and i would legit sit around and watch hours of the same animated stuff (im looking at you rrb x ppnkg Katy Perry ET fan music video)

But because we were all pretty young at the time and not really that creatively original, we all sort of just made Boomer some innocent, soft boy in the fanfics who instantly fell for Bubbles and they would just be a couple.

BUT GAH DAMN DID SBJ SUBVERT MY EXPECTATIONS.

Being a kiddo at the time, and assuming that only people around my age were writing ppg fanfics, I was like "TCH, why is everyone on Deviant art obsessing over this More Than Human cRAp. I caN wRiTE a BeTTeR fAnFIc."

But then I read it.

And it was more than grammar/spelling errorless, unlike most fics I read.

the characters had DIMENSION.

I didn't expect to see

Blossom as a dancer

Butch into Blossom (i was a big cry baby over color crack ships, but her fic became the exception.)

Brick being mature and scary

BOOMER AS A GOOFBALL

AND BUBBLES LITERALLY DENYING HIM OF HIS AFFECTION

Talk about a full 180.

And I know, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL. BUT OMG WHEN I TELL YOU THEIR EARLY INTERACTIONS ARE SO FUCKIN-

AHHHHHHHHH

Its the way Boomer tries to pin her for me.

It's the way he's literally obsessed for me.

It's the Bubbles seeing right through him for me.

IT'S THE "MR. STEAL YO GIRL" ATTITUDE FOR ME.

Boomer has literally worked so MOTHA FUKN hard to get this ONE GIRL'S ATTENTION who , as Brick clearly puts it, "IS THE ENEMY"

And he falls for her over a Mariah Carey song. HE KNEW IF YOU COULD SING LIKE MIMI... BITCH THERE IS NO COMPETITION.

Omg i feel bad for Hailey.

Oh yeah and, he and Hailey... Bruh. This guy gets his ex to agree to play an Avril song with him just so he can serenade BUBBLES.

THAT IS SO

Boomer. Omg that is so Boomer cause it's like his thought process>> "I know we broke up, but your guitar skills are awesome and I really need you blessing.... Yes by your blessings im referring to your guitar playing...Yes this is for another girl"

" ...Yes it's for Bubbles... Please don't hate me."

And just the fact that Bubbles is like, "Hun, I don't care if you're up there singing "I will Always Love you" to me. If the name ain't Will, you can gon' 'head and chill. "

But Boomer is so determined.

Everytime he gets the chance to impress her, he doesn't hesitate. He's sung to her in the rain (sort of). He picked up on joining the school musical just to have the slim opportunity of kissing her. Can you imagine him , up at like 1 a.m on a school night watching a bunch of musicals foR BUBBLES.

And their banter is so cute! Bubbles knows Boomer's game and she likes to play it just enough to keep HERSELF entertained. She is fully aware she's tempering with a ROWDYRUFF BOY. She see's his tricks from a mile away.

So they just go back and forth and back and forth because really, even though Boomer says he doesn't take his shenanigans with Bubbles seriously...

This is the only thing he's had to work for. Like legit, everything else he's got was because of a hand out or advantages.

His musical talent: a handout from HIM

His first girlfriend: The advantages of his good looks

JS Inc: An advantage from being Bricks brother and being a rowdyruff boy

No neck joe: His advantage of playing instruments (and because he was a ruff boy)

Him becoming popular: his advantages of, music, rrb background and good looks BOOM

BUT DON'T NONE OF THAT SHIT IMPRESS BUBBLES ENOUGH TO GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY 😭

She doesn't care that he's hot, that he's popular, that he can literally play her anything ahe wants, just how she likes it. She doesn't care that he says "he'll be nice" or "play fair" or whatever, or that he's literally so charming, so smooth, he treats her as if she's the only girl to exist in his world. He's tried to amplify that he cares about her by hurting other people- BUT IT'S IN HER NAME.

No. What Bubbles want is simple...

It's commitment.

If he can't be committed to love her (I mean look at how easily he threw Hailey aside), or be there when she needs him, or simply BE COMMITTED TO BEING A GOOD PERSON.

Then she can not date him.

Because she doesn't just want to date a cute guy, she wants to be in love with someone she trusts...

And at first it seems like Boomer just wants to have her as an accessory to his life, and he DOES. The guy literally expects her to drop her relationship with Will just so they can live out his five minute fantasy.

But slowly he realizes, it's more than that magnificent voice. He likes to see her flustered and he doesn't like seeing her upset because of what people say about her. He doesn't want her to be annoyed by him, or to just brush off his advances.

He starts to really want her.

Like REALLY want her, because whatever they've built, that's the only thing he's had to work for in his life, and he loves her for that. He loves her even more when she implies that he is just as important as his brothers and that it's okay to be just a teenager in love. He loves her and his music, she doesn't ask for more from him. She wants him to be happy, and he wants to just be happy with her.

AHH FUCK I CAN TALK FOREVER ABOUT THESE TWO OKAY??

FOREVER

THEY ARE MY OTP

But dear lord, I've been typing for some time

Anyway, YES. I adore their dynamic. Boomer may be more of a douche than he realizes but he's never had to work for anything. He's never really been challenged. Bubbles is his only challenge EVEN WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER, he begins questioning the longevity of what they have because he's reminded that he's not the first and Bubbles has a heart of her own. No matter what he does, because of who she is (not just to him, but in general) he cannot manipulate that. He can not force Bubbles to love him if she falls out of love with him. And that's so world shattering for him because the girl is literally his WORLD. Like no other person could replace her because Bubbles is literally all of who he is. He feels like, if he loses her, what is he? What's his purpose? This is the only thing he's ever built.

Which is really, incredibly sad because he shouldn't think of their relationship like that, but he's so deeply in love with her, for him there really is no other. You could try to hand him "the girl of his dreams" and he'd just... Sort of laugh and turn right to Bubbles because everyone knows, THAT'S the girl of his dreams. It's the only girl he'd want to be with.

A lot of people probably won't believe me if I said I'm also a big boomercup shipper, because their dynamic just works so well.

Okay, i am done FANGIRLING. Thanks for reading my long ass post.

#ppg #mth by sbj #sbj more than human #sbj mth #ppg blues #boomubbles #ppg x rrb #ppg boomer #bubbles utonium #bubbles ppg

[chefrat]

Liar, Liar, Pants on fire

pairings: Cheater!Oikawa X Reader, Iwaizumi X Reader

type: im not sure, first date??

word-count: 3.9k

warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating

A/N: I haven't been sleeping well so I’m reeeaaallly tired but here's something thats really bad written but I felt like I should post to not lose the habit so yea :////// I hope its ok, I could of definitely ended it better and maybe I’ll rewrite it one day but I just felt like finishing it in one night when while I’m my worst. Stuff at home have also not been at all pretty, lots of arguing that have nothing to do with me. oh im so tired :((( I really wish it was easy to sleep 

______________

You weren’t sure of what you were going to say or even do but the way Oikawa’s eyes widened and the way his hand pushed her off was enough to let you know he was being unfaithful. But your decision had been final on leaving him weeks ago. One might think you were jumping to conclusions but when you noticed them walking together, hand in hand for the last couple of minutes it was enough to let you know what was going on. Not only that but not only were they giggling to each other, sharing loving pecks but just the way the both were standing so close told so much about their relationship. Iwaizumi was also kind enough to let you know a while ago, he knew telling you would be like betraying his best friend but he couldn’t hold back knowing that it was all wrong. To be honest, you couldn’t help but feel relief about the cheating taking Iwaizumi by surprise. You were thinking of ways to lay it on Oikawa, trying to figure out ways to end things with the setter but none of it ever felt right. 

“How long has he been… you know?” Iwaizumi sighed, shifting on the bench you both shared. 

“I don’t know. I figured it out just a week ago, thought I’d tell you before it could go any longer.” He looked over at you, it was obvious he cared about you. He has always cared about you, thats what friends do. Care for each other. Though, some people could say he cared a little bit too much. 

“Thank you…it’s ok. I’ll talk to him, stuff happens.” You shrugged your shoulders but Iwaizumi sat in silence, waiting. He was waiting to comfort you if you cried, or even hold you if all you needed was just a hug. That’s how he always received you, with open arms and a shoulder to cry on. 

“Why aren’t you upset? Don’t tell me you’re going to forgive that shit for brains boyfriend of yours. Please, You deserve way better.” His hand went to grab yours and you let his warmth come in contact with your own freezing hand. Iwaizumi’s grip on your hand never easing, begging you with his touch to not go back to his best friend.

“God, no. It’s just… you know how sometimes you lose feelings for someone and you can’t really explain it. Don’t get me wrong, sure it hurts and I still care deeply for him but romantically. Romantically my feelings changed, Iwa.” 

“It’s not what it looks like.” Oikawa grinned, trying to save face, he took long strides towards you. You frowned, shaking your head at him making him stop on his tracks. “I know what it is. Just don’t make a scene, please. We can talk later.” He was confused, maybe even a little mad that you had asked him to not make a scene. He could only watch you walk away as his other girlfriend stood a few feet away, waiting until the coast was clear. The way she grabbed onto his arm to take his attention away made his stomach twist. Oikawa couldn’t help but feel sick, the wave of nausea hitting him harder and harder each step you took away from him. “I’m gonna go home, I’ll call you later.” She looked at him confused, not wanting to leave him just yet. Especially not now when he’s feeling so vulnerable after seeing you. 

- 

It had been a week after Oikawa had been caught with his second girlfriend by you and just a few days after having a talk with him. The both of you were mature about it, talking through your problems and even forgiving him but breaking up in the process. You still shared the same friends, the same class, and the same best friend. Iwaizumi thanked you mentally for not  saying anything to Oikawa about him coming to you and letting you know about his unfaithfulness. The three of you still tried to at least save the friendship, even if it felt pretty awkward to Oikawa. He couldn’t help but just feel like there was something wrong, the way you dismissed it all, it almost felt like you were eager to break up with him. Eager to get away from him so fast. 

Your laugh took him out of his train of thoughts, he looked over to you sitting next to a sweating Iwaizumi. His own sweat rolled down his back. You would always stay back during their practice, thats how close the three of you were.

Lately it seemed like you were only close to one of them though. He couldn’t blame you, he practically ruined all sorts of relationships with you. Even his own friend had way more courage to call him out on his bullshit. The way you reacted towards the cheating, it just didn’t make him feel good. At all. Was he being an asshole if he expected you to at least cry, maybe yell at him or even try to argue? ‘Just don’t make a scene, please’ maybe he did want to make a scene. He couldn’t do that to you, right? Unfortunately, word got out own how the relationship ended and it was already enough humiliation for the both of you. Making a scene would just make it all types of worse. 

Oikawa made it towards where the both of you sat, his cocky grin on display. It faltered once he took in the conversation between his best friend and ex-girlfriend. “I’ll walk you home then.” Iwaizumi said, pinching the skin on your elbow making you swat his hand away with a giggle. Walking home was usually Oikawa’s doing, especially while he was your boyfriend. So why now were you asking Iwaizumi, or did he offer? 

The conversation died down once he took his seat next to his best friend without saying a word. It almost felt like you guys were purposely excluding him from your guys conversation or even keeping secrets with each other. He couldn’t help but feel paranoid by the way you both acted alone and around him. Even though he had no right to feel jealous, he just couldn’t help himself. 

“You’re walking her home? I thought we were going to hangout after practice.” Oikawa frowned towards his friend, making him tense in his seat. “Sorry, it just gets really dark nowadays. I can’t have her walking home alone.” 

He smiled, letting his own personal feelings get the best of him. “I’ll come with you guys then!” 

And it went on like that for a while. Always including himself and sometimes even receiving annoyed looks from his own best friend. Oikawa wasn’t dumb, he knew there was at least a little something happening with the both of you but he was in no place to say anything. Or at least thats how Iwaizumi thought of it. Trying to get close to your best friends ex-girlfriend sounds horrible but when he cheats on her, it cancels out the horribleness of it, right? The only way Iwaizumi could get closer to you without Oikawa butting in was with late night talks. It was something the both of you looked forward to. Sometimes he’d be way too tired to keep up conversation but he would fight through it for you.  

“So, what do you say? Do you want to?” Iwaizumi asked, laying on his back. He held his phone up to his ear while he used his other hand to rub his neck, massaging out a sore area from practice. 

You giggled nervously, laying on your back as well on your bed and staring up at your ceiling. Your heart thumping against your ribcage almost as if it would jump out. He made you nervous, but a good nervous. The type of feelings you once had for Oikawa, but a little more stronger, and a whole lot more honest. “I’d love to.” 

It sounded as if something fell through the phone, probably something he had hanging up that didn’t hold on anymore but instead it was a very excited Iwaizumi who had rushed off of their bed, and accidentally kicking his nightstand sending his clock flying off in the process. He hissed at the pain he felt on his foot but also silently cheered hearing you agree to his date for the upcoming weekend. “Are you okay?” You giggled again making him blush. “Yea, sorry. I just got a little too excited.” Again with the butterflies, you smiled. 

“Be careful, I want you in one piece for when we finally go out.” He blushed even harder at your words, you really did have a strong affect on him. Iwaizumi’s phone started to vibrate from an incoming call, he pulled his phone from his ear and mumbling a quick ‘give me a second’ to you as he went to go check the caller id. 

He frowned, Oikawa. 

“Can I call you back? Oikawa’s calling me right now…” The brunette could hear you sigh. Oikawa seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever Iwaizumi tried to spend some time with you alone, even through a phone call.  

“Ok, be safe and goodni-“ 

“No, I changed my mind. He can wait, I rather talk to you.” Iwaizumi said, cutting you off. If only he could see you now, a smile on your face and blushing. The conversation continued on even when Oikawa wouldn’t quit on calling but all Iwaizumi could do was send him to voicemail. Six times to voicemail and he still couldn’t get the hint that he was busy. But he was too focused on you to care about what Oikawa was so desperate to talk to him about. 

He couldn’t help but feel happy whenever you would talk about your day even though he had mostly spent half of it with you. Even more happy when you kept reminding him about the date and trying your best to get information out of him on where he was going to take you. You felt warmth in your chest when you got to hear him stammer with his own words whenever you knew you made him nervous with your questions. 

“Is he still calling you? Maybe you should answer him.” It could have been an emergency or maybe it was just him being annoying Iwaizumi thought, but he knew he should at least see what was wrong. 

“Yea, I will. I’m sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He sighed, still not ready to let go of the lovely conversation the both of you were having. 

“Yes. Goodnight, I hope you sleep well. ” You gave him a final giggle before ending the call making his heart thump just a little harder. 

Iwaizumi slumped on his bed with a groan, dialing Oikawa to check up on him. It didn’t take long for him to pick up, two rings and he could already hear the sigh of relief leave his best friend. “Iwaaa~, you had me so worried. What was so important that kept you away from me for so long? Hmm?” He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty, he could’ve of at least sent him a message about how he wouldn’t be able to answer the phone for a while. Or was the guilt from spending the last two or so hours talking to his best friends ex-girlfriend and asking her on a date. 

“Sorry, got caught up with something. What’s up?” He looked over to his nightstand to check the time on his clock but soon realized it was on the floor. The memory coming back and making him smile. 

“Oh nothing, I was just wondering…you wouldn’t lie to me right?” And the pleasure was over, he tensed hearing the question but why? It’s not as if you were cheating on Oikawa when in reality it was him who did the cheating. 

“Of course not. What are you thinking so much about thats got you asking stuff like that?” Oikawa sighed, biting his lip and staring off to his ceiling. 

“Does she ever say anything about me? I know the both of you are close so I’m just wondering. She wasn’t even crying when she saw me with (gf name), do you know what she told me that night? ‘don’t make a scene’. Can you believe that?” Iwaizumi furrowed his brows, bothered by the way his friend was acting so childishly. Why was he so determined to see you hurt, was he that desperate to make you cry? 

“Oikawa, just drop it. You cheated, you’re the bad guy in this situation and you still ended up with the girl you cheated on your own girlfriend with! Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe the reason why she wasn’t so hurt by it was because she was already over you?” Seconds passed of pure silence. The only thing Iwaizumi could hear was his friends steady breathing. His brow twitched anxiously, awaiting for an answer. “Did she tell you that?” He rolled his eyes, gripping his phone. 

“She didn’t have to.” He mumbled making him receive a scoff from Oikawa. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Oikawa grumbled, annoyed at his unsupportive friend but again, he was just asking for too much from him.  

“It means that you should really be thankful that she values your friendship that she overlooked you cheating on her and that you should really just drop it. Please.” Silence again. He reached over towards where his clock was at on the ground, picking it up and placing it back on his nightstand. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t help but wonder. She was my girlfriend for a while, the least she could do is cry a little.” 

“Why are you such a dick?” Oikawa choked on his spit, getting caught off guard by the question. 

“Excuse me? Iwa, where’s this behavior coming from… did she actually cry? Like only with you?” Iwaizumi huffed in annoyance, the red button tempting him to end the call. 

“I don’t know, I’m just really tired from practice. See you tomorrow, k?” 

“But Iwa-“ And with that he ended the call, readying himself for bed and to face Oikawa tomorrow. But he smiled, thinking about how he was going to see you too. The way you were able to flip his whole mood and instantly put a smile on him, he really did like you. Iwaizumi looked down to his vibrating phone, it was Oikawa again. The guilt came back, it wasn’t for hanging up on him but more on always crushing on his best friends ex girlfriend.

Oikawa groaned into his pillow, frustrated and feeling as if both of his closest friends were shutting him. He didn’t know who else to go to or ask. You weren’t exactly friends with anyone, you kept your circle small and usually never vented to anyone but Iwaizumi. The vibration he felt on his bed made him snatch his phone with an unexplainable speed, hoping it was you or even Iwa with some answers. Instead it was his girlfriend wishing him a goodnight but Oikawa didn’t even bother to read the whole message. 

-

It was Sunday and Iwaizumi was still in the shower after getting in just about an hour ago. The date wouldn’t be until later in the evening and it was only morning but his anxiety ended up getting to him. Urging him to start getting ready at such early hours. You couldn’t help but do the same thing, thrashing your room and scattering clothes everywhere that you pulled from your closet while trying to find the best outfit for Iwaizumi. 

He could hear his phone buzzing again making him pull the curtain back slightly to check the caller id. It was Oikawa again but too bad Iwaizumi was too busy scrubbing his body clean for the fifth time. Anyways, it was Sunday and just around eleven in the morning, he would understand if Iwaizumi just said he slept in and missed his calls. But the buzzing wouldn’t stop, Iwa grumbled while turning the water off and hearing his own mom knocking on the door, asking him if he was okay. 

Iwa was quick to dry himself, he sat on his bed watching the clock on his nightstand. Why was time going by so slow? Normally he was a patient man but he was just way too eager to hangout with you. He’d do anything to make time speed up just a little. For you, you wished you had gotten up earlier. You still couldn’t decide on what to wear, your room a whole mess and you still hadn’t showered. Until when you finally decided on something simple, nothing that wasn’t too much nor too relaxed. But you couldn’t help but frown, Iwa never gave you a hint on where he was going to take you or even told you if it was going to be cold or not. With a groan, you neatly folded your outfit and put it on a spot on your bed before practically running to the bathroom to shower even though you still had over five hours to get ready. 

He slowly dressed to be able to pass some time starting with his socks, and so on with a pair of fresh gym shorts and black t-shirt. Iwa decided on wearing casual clothing and not his chosen outfit until it was time for him to go so there wouldn’t be a way for him to get it dirty in away way and ruin it. Glancing at the clock, he laid on his bed. It was just around noon, almost hitting one. With a sigh, he picked up his phone and scrolling through his socials to pass time. He turned on his tv and let it run as background noise to keep him at least a bit distracted. Not before putting an alarm for an hour before walking to your house so he could properly get dressed.

You huffed trying to get your eyeliner done, even just the minimum to at least show him that you were trying. With a steady hand you were able to complete the left eye. Smiling, you looked at yourself in the mirror. ‘Ok, I think it looks okay-ish enough’ you though to yourself, looking down to your phone and seeing the time being four, almost time for your date with Iwaizumi. The pink chapstick stained your lips just a tad bit while it worked as a hydrator as well, just a little something you wanted to add. Your phone vibrated with a notification, it was Iwaizumi. You couldn’t help the smile that the name on the screen brought to your face. The tip of your finger swiped the notification and reading it to yourself out loud. “Hi, If you're by any chance ready would it be ok to go pick you up now? No pressure xx.” You weren’t the only one eager, it helped you feel more at ease. Your fingers typing up a response were unfortunately interrupted from another message notification, this time from Oikawa but you simply ignored it, not even bothering to read what he had to say, much more focused on going on your first date with Iwaizumi. 

Hearing you giggle made Iwaizumi’s cheeks tint to a shade of light pink, he was outside your door and holding a bouquet of flowers that unintentionally matched with your outfit. It was simply pure kismet. “Are those for me?” He couldn’t ignore the sparkling look in your eyes when you asked so he just smiled, handing them to you. “Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.” It was now your turn for your cheeks to flush at his compliment. You happily accepted them, excusing yourself for a minute to place them in an empty vase and then returning to him, closing the door behind you in the process. 

The both of you walked hand in hand toward a small coffee shop that the both of you were familiar with. “I still have somewhere else I wanna take you, not just for coffee.” He said with a smile and a squeeze to your hand. 

“Ohh where else then?” You pressed, trying to get it out him. 

“It’s a surprise, don’t worry about it.” Iwa looked over to you the smile still standing proudly on his face. Just happy to be with you after so long. 

-

You couldn’t help but smile, finally seeing to where he was taking you. It was the most recent restaurant that had opened up in your area, he was taking you out to dinner. Perfect timing as well, you did start to feel a little hungry after the small cup of coffee you had just about an hour ago. “I know it’s not much but I know how much you like Italian and well-“ You quickly cut him off with a kiss on the cheek making him look down at you in surprise. He felt the warmth in his chest start up again, you were just too cute. 

“Going anywhere to eat with you is already a perfect date, but the Italian food is for sure a plus.” Still having his hand in yours, you made sure to keep walking even while he still was a little shocked from the peck on the cheek. You giggled, pulling him closer to you by the hand. “What? Want another one?” Iwaizumi only nodded but this time taking charge as he gently placed his free hand on your cheek and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, contagious enough to cause you to smile too. You teasingly let your wet tongue swipe against his bottom lip making him pull away with a furious blush. 

“Easy now.” Iwa mumbled, readjusting his posture and scanning the not-so-busy street to see if any creep had been lingering for too long. Just something to distract him from his first kiss with you because he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to hold back on the kissing if you tried the tongue trick again.

You laughed at his words but continued on into the restaurant. A very warm atmosphere came over the both of you, you really did enjoy his company. He made you happy, the way he holds your hand and the way he would look into your eye. It was definitely worth it to wait for the weekend. Iwaizumi thought so too, he would make it his personal goal to show just how much he cared about you and to do way better than Oikawa ever could. Even though that was his closest friend, he still could not let it slide on how trashy he was for being a cheater. The both of you were greeted by a wonderful waiter, following quickly behind them to the table nearest to a corner, somewhere more secluded but not so much. 

Dinner passed by fast but neither of you could bring up what the both of you were dreading, the end of the date. Instead you kept him distracted with memories you shared with him from school, making him smile every time you would get way into detail. He loved hearing you talk about certain memories you had of him, things he had kept to himself thinking that no one would remember and that surprised him when you had a perfect memory. The guilty feeling in him slowly dying out with every little conversation you had with him. But it soon returned when he received a message notification from Oikawa. 

‘How’s the date with (Y/n)? I thought you said you wouldn’t lie to me, Iwa…”

(not edited)

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #oikawa imagine #oikawa #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa tōru #toru oikawa #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi imagine #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hinata x reader #hinata shōyō #tsukishima x you #tsukishima imagine #haikyuu tsukishima #testurou kuroo x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kenma imagine #kenma x reader

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

3?

i had such a strong image in my head about blondie and angel on top of a lifeguard tower or a high dive platform watching a huge herd of feral ghouls go by, but it doesn't fit anywhere even after me taking several cracks at it.

im currently in the process of killing one of my darlings, a subplot wherein there's an underground road tunnel from vault 3 to vault 21, and is absolutely full of exploded and still smoldering micro-cars, those stupid little bullet shaped ones you see everywhere? it is also chock full of feral ghouls who have been trapped there since the bombs fell. they are spilling out into the new vegas sewer systems, and have wiped out a good chunk of the fiends, and are a general hazard. this tunnel, like the micro-cars, would have been a failed experiment by either house or the insane half-brother that they've forgotten about. after the bombs compromised part of it it got sealed off at each end as an automatically firing security measure. would also be a good dig at e/lon mus/k's fucking stupid boring tunnel, which is in irl vegas.

i was going to have six send off blondie and angel to searchlight (which i am convinced has to be a ghoul settlement at this point in the timeline) to ask for assistance, since non-feral ghouls do take care of and can communicate with ferals but nobody in the city has had any success, these tunnel ghouls have been apart from ghoul society too long (sidebar about how ghoulification actually works, what makes a feral, i'm pretty sure it's not being around other ghouls and the passage of time and bodies breaking down, i do Not think feralization just happens randomly as per fo4). they would send them off to find jason bright, the events of come fly with me would happen (possible side side quest getting someone from jacobstown down to talk to the super mutants in the repconn facility), there would be a heated debate on many sides about what to do with the ferals, since you can't just leave them there but searchlight doesn't want to take care of them (side bit about ghouls from the NCR bringing their feral relatives to searchlight as a sort of retirement, lack of resources to take care of a couple hundred extra ferals).

six would have been a tiebreaking vote of some sort and decided the kindest thing to do would be a mercy killing. there would have been a terrifying and deeply sad sequence of jason bright leading this group of ferals through the blocked off streets of new vegas to essentially a mass grave outside town.

i think i will be discarding this bc it got extremely unwieldy, even though it would be an interesting look at the non-human politics of the city and yet another controversial decision six would make that would make her more enemies. i don't love the franchise's take on ghouls/sanity/disability, and i'm not confident i could successfully execute this. a big underlying thing in this fucking fic, whenever i get around to successfully implementing it, is that most of the problems the city faces today are left over from before the war (but we're already going to have a deeply upsetting interlude about vault 34).

but also it makes me extremely sad. writing the wrecked museum chapter was weirdly depressing bc i like museums!!! thinking about them no longer being valued is sad!!! idk how i would actually write the mass grave bit without like four sensitivity readers, and at this point this is too much effort for a fanfic and i am cutting my losses/noting this down in the big file of "ideas that didn't quite work out". also also this doesn't really advance the blondie/angel relationship in literally any way since i think they would both agree with six that a mercy killing would be best

#answered #ty!!! #this one got all the way to the animatics stage basically lol #ain't that a kick in the head #this is also a Deeply sad subplot just fyi for anyone hitting read more

[santigarcia]

Watermelon 🍉

Human Touch Part Three

a nathan bateman x f!reader series

Part One | Part Two

word count: 1.7k

rating: M/E for sexual themes, smut (pls only read if youre 18+)

summary: Nathan offers to teach you to box, but he ends up showing you something else instead...

a/n: sorry im late getting this one out! make sure you read part one and part two!! thank you again to @punkpascal and @sergeantkane! let me know what yall think!

Nathan took you back to your cousin’s after a few more days spent tangled in the sheets. He fucked you a couple times at your cousin’s place just for good measure. It was a bittersweet goodbye, you had to go back home. But there was a promise you’d come back, stay longer with him.

You dated virtually for a few months. It worked out because he was up all hours working and could text you. He’s surprisingly good at multitasking. The sexting and the phone sex were nice, but you both missed each other’s touch. Something about him made you ache to be back in his arms.

He surprised you with plane tickets one day, and you flew out to him. You spent a week this time. But the goodbye was even harder.

An intimacy had grown. Your lives begin to merge.

But there was an air about him that was different. He was happier than he’d ever remember being, but also scared out of his mind. There were hours that would go by when you wouldn’t see him. He’d be working, but mostly he was trying to collect his thoughts. You were such a damn distraction. Every moment spent with you felt like the air in his lungs would leave him, he’d never be able to breathe again with you taking the air from him. His heart thuds in his chest and he swears he’s having a heart attack. But it’s just you, it’s you.

He still can’t believe you’re real.

One afternoon you walked in on him pleasuring himself. Fully naked, flat on his back on his bed. Big hand pumping his dick. Moans echoing in the room. He didn’t see you or notice you until his end. He came with a loud groan and he moaned your name.

When he sat up, he saw you, there was a moment of panic in his eyes, but then it turned to a smirk.

“Enjoy the show?”

“Why didn’t you….come get me?” you flush. He looked away from your gaze, a heat rises in his face and the tips of his ears turn pink.

“I still can’t believe you’re real.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“How long have you been so alone?” your heart hurts and you go over to him and kiss the top of his head.

These are the things that plague him. He’s been so alone for so long; he’s trying to adjust to life with you in his home. The heat in his bed. Someone else showering. Your clothes in the closet. Your shampoo in the shower. Little traces of you.

He’s also not used to having to talk to anyone. He’ll spend hours or days even deep in his work. Barely remembering to eat.

You ate alone one evening, so you wandered into his lab to check on him. When you asked him why he wasn’t with you he snapped at you like a scared wounded animal.

“We don’t have to spend every second together,” he’d said. But as soon as he said it, he was full of regret. He never wanted to see that upset look in your eyes again.

“Well, I only see you if we have sex!” Which wasn’t true, but it’s what it felt like. You’re only here for a week, you wanted to make the most of it.

You walked out of his lab leaving him alone. You saw the look on his face, and he looked defeated. Hurt. Angry. At himself, not at you.

Later you went back into apologize, only to find him asleep at his desk. His face smushed against the keyboard. Several lines of letters were being typed by his cheek on the screen.

“Nathan,” you whisper and gently touch his shoulder. He bolts upright and groans a silent “fuck” when he sees all the letters typed out.

“You need to rest, come with me right now,” you tell him. He doesn’t disagree and he follows you to his bed. You lay down first, on you back with pillows propped behind you. “Come here,” you beckon. And with a happy sigh he lays down, resting his head on your stomach just under your breasts. He breathes deeply as you scratch his back and softly rub his fuzzy head.

“I’m sorry,” you say first. “I’m a little nervous about this.”

“I’m sorry,” he replies. “I’m nervous as shit. I’m not used to having another person around. Especially not someone so-“ his throat tightens. How can he tell you that he loves you already? “What if I’m not good enough for you? I don’t want to hurt you. But- I’ve been trying to think of ways to ask you.”

“Ask me what?” you stroke his beard gently.

“Move out here with me,” he’d whispered into your skin.

“I’d love to,” you whispered back. “And we’ll figure this out. But you are good enough. My only,” you smile and kiss him softly.

He paid for everything. He hired movers to get your things. He paid for any expenses and every ticket. Your parents were a little surprised you were dropping everything to stay with someone they’d never even met, but they’d also never seen you happier in your life.

Nathan enjoyed helping you unpack. He analyzed everything you owned. And he liked making a space for all your things. He rifled through your record collection with keen interest, and all your underwear.

It felt so domestic being with him, and you knew it was the right decision. You’d been worried about being homesick, but that feeling never came. He was your home. You had everything you needed and could possibly want.

You kept in contact with all your friends, you’d video chat with them. There were things you missed, but you settled into life with Nathan with ease.

The newest part for you was sharing space with someone. He’d not done that in some time either. He’s not used to someone curling up against him in the middle of the night. He runs hot, but he can’t push you away. He’ll just turn down the AC.

This morning, the bed is empty. Which isn’t uncommon. He keeps weird hours. You pull on his Henley and some warm pajama pants and wander through the house looking for him.

You find him outside on the deck, he’s practicing his boxing this morning. His fists collide with the punching bag and you can hear him grunt with effort. Unashamedly you watch his tight ass bounce as he hops around on the balls of his feet.

You make your presence known by opening the sliding door to the deck. He sees you with a smile, but he keeps going. He might be showing off just a little for you, but you don’t mind. The newness of the relationship has him doing things of the sort.

“Are you going to teach me how to box?” you ask sitting on one of the deck chairs nearby.

“Well get over here and I’ll teach you,” he grins, his shoulders heave as he breathes deeply.

He holds your hands in his, showing you how to make a fist. His touch is warm, his eyes flicker with desire. He’s sweaty and his kisses are salty.

“Hold your hands like this-“ he tells you. He stands behind you and guides your arms on how to throw a proper punch without hurting yourself. He slots himself behind you, and you can feel him through his thin gym shorts.

“Nathan.”

“Hmm?” he hums in your ear and kisses your cheek.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought I was showing you how to box? What did you think I was doing?” He hums again and ruts his hips against your ass.

“It’s this shirt isn’t it?” you lean back against his chest and wrap your arms around his neck. He kisses your neck and his beard brushes along your skin.

“Yeah, you look so fuckin’ good in my shirt. Hold still,” he tells you and slips his hand down your pants. He wraps his other arm around you to keep you still while he rubs tight circles on your clit. “You know, kitten, I haven’t eaten you out yet. Would you let me?”

“Outside?” you moan while his fingers move. He chuckles in your ear.

“No one’s out here. Please baby, let me taste you.”

“You really want to?”

His fingers move faster, and you buck against his hand. You’re so close, chasing it when he pulls his hand away. He brings his fingers up to his lips and groans in your ear.

“You taste so good, I want more.”

“Please- let me finish. Use your mouth.”

“Attagirl,” he winks and squeezes your ass. “If you’re not ready though, say so. It’s not like I haven’t seen you.” He smirks.

“Where do you want me?”

He points to one of the tables. You sit down on it and lay back. He kneels in front of you and pulls your pants and panties down your legs. He spreads your thighs and puts them over his shoulders while he dives in.

His eyes close in pleasure while his tongue laps at your folds and sensitive bundle of nerves. He sucks and kisses and grazes his teeth. His beard scrapes your thighs, and you scream out in the open air.

“That’s it baby,” he moans against your heat. “Fuck, you have the best tasting pussy.”

“Nathan!” you whine his name, and he goes in harder. Sucking and eating you alive.

“You’re sweeter than the watermelon we had the other night,” he purrs into your heat. He doesn’t stop until you’re coming all over his tongue. Your sweet essence he could drown in. You’re real. Warm, wet, and real. He burns with need after tasting you. He’d keep going if he weren’t so hard in his shorts.

He pushes his shorts down and leans over you, kissing you deeply.

“Can I?” he asks, there’s a pleading tone in his voice. You practically beg him to push inside, you wrap your legs around him and pull him towards you. He sinks in with a sigh. The table scrapes on the deck as he thrusts into you.

“So much for teaching me boxing,” you gasp out a moan when he spills inside of you.

“Next time,” he chuckles, falling on top of you. “I’ve had my workout for the day.”

xx

tagging: @pascal-isaac, @wasicskosgirl, @velvetmel0n, @huliabitch, @shadow-assassin-blix, @writefightandflightclub, @aellynera, @softboywriting, @veuliee2, @spider-starry, @mylifeliterally, @millllenniawrites, @ntlmundy, @foxilayde, @writingletterstothefire, @mandoplease, @anetteaneta, @feelmyroarrrr, @artsymaddie, @shakespeareanwannabe, @poedameronsbeard, @deanfanatic, @magicsuperheroes, @phoenixhalliwell, @that-one-weird-one, @mariesackler​

#nathan bateman #nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman imagine #nathan bateman x you #my writing #human touch series #part three

[krelboyne]

depressing malcolm in the middle headcanons

general trigger warning for things such as self-hx, eating disorders, bullying, abuse, really anything that you’re struggling with please keep a look out and feel free to skip this post. if you got anything to add on, either send me an anonymous ask or send me a DM! please don’t read this if you know you will be significantly upset by this!

- reese has a lot, and i mean a LOT, of negative thoughts about himself that can be. concerning.

- francis often wonders if he actually deserves to be considered a good brother, or even sometimes just part of the family, due to being gone from his younger brothers for so long

- speaking of that, francis sometimes lowkey blames himself for being sent to military school. would he ever bring this up to lois though? HELL NO

- dewey struggles from isolation from his family quite a bit and takes that and turns it into music, hence why music means so much to him and why he got a little offended when malcolm was misunderstanding music so much

- malcolm mentally is just. a mess. a huge, emotional mess. a disaster area. being the gifted child fucked him up GOOD

- this is just. canon. BUT. hal often sees himself in the boys, especially when they’re doing something chaotic. and because of that, he fears that he will accidentally neglect them like his father did to him, so even negative interactions with the boys such as reprimanding them can make him relax, and going too long without doing a little something special with them makes him upset

- lois can occasionally get “flashbacks” to her mother ida when she’s shouting at her children, and she knows she can’t stop punishing them because of her “flashbacks”, but they often make her feel regret later on and it leaves the boys with a much lighter punishment than they would usually receive

- im not sure if anybody would agree with me or not, but i kind of imagined lois with c-ptsd due to past neglect and abuse (i have c-ptsd myself i promise im not just making stuff up out of nowhere)

- malcolm suffers from extreme suicidal thoughts and, on bad nights, self harm

- malcolm’s “confident” (arrogant) act stems from his insecurity. he’s very much aware of his flaws and despises himself because of it, but unsure of what to do about it, he hides it instead

- the same thing has happened to reese, but rather than acting confident, he acts like a bully so people don’t even think twice about hurting him (or his brothers that he deeply loves). this is actually a huge reason of why reese and malcolm can relate to each other so much despite acting very differently

- malcolm and reese find comfort from each other emotionally. they will never, and i repeat never, bring this up with each other, nor would they acknowledge this to themselves, but they struggle with so many of the same things even if the problems presented themselves differently in their lives (ex. they both struggle with school, bullies, making friends, socializing, their family life, life in general). this over the years has formed almost a sort of co-dependency

- dewey feels like he often has to outprove himself in order to get any attention whatsoever, which, unfortunately in his family, is sort of true

- malcolm, francis, and dewey suffer from imposter syndrome

- the whole family has adhd because i said so

- reese and malcolm have bad physical esteem issues, which can result in them occasionally skipping meals and generally feeling quite bad about themselves. it never turns into anything too serious but it’s something they have to conquer

- malcolm has atypical depression and HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE social anxiety. like some of the worst you’ll ever see

- everyone in the family suffers from panic attacks, some more than others

- francis’s relationship with his mother turned sour very early on, but his chaotic streak actually originated as, as cheesy as it is, wanting attention (no matter positive or negative), but over the years he just learned to love chaos

- harvard will hit malcolm like a brick- the stress of being the family “savior”, working multiple jobs, constant nonstop homework, chores, debt... it leads to, unfortunately, quite a bit of trips to the hospital and a bit of time in the psych ward

- they all need therapy let’s be real

#Malcolm in the Middle #mitm #so this is going to require a lot of trigger warnings #and will probably be updated later on #sorry this wasn't as long as anyone was expecting :( #yes this is a sitcom and yknow what? idc. i woobify everything #if i get any hate asks for making this post im gna get very sad #headcanons #headcanon #OH AND BY THE WAY #me making this post? IS NOT ME ROMANTICIZING MENTAL ILLNESS #not to get personal but i struggle with deep mental issues myself #and making these can be so so comforting #sorry if this sounds like gibberish i just kind of spit out things and hope they made sense #there's probably many grammatical errors #malcolm wilkerson #francis wilkerson #dewey wilkerson #reese wilkerson #hal wilkerson #lois wilkerson

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

TPWP Introspective

Hey guys!! So, as you noticed, there was no update today either, like I had commented that I may try and do if possible. The reason I didn’t post today, though, is because I remembered that I wrote a little introspective thing about TPWP a few days ago that I wanted to post before the next chapter, if possible. I spent the last hour and a half intermittently touching it up (while also talking to friends, ha). I wrote this after waking up at five in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep, so I was fairly tired and rambley when writing it, ha. 

Anyway, this is pretty long discussion about something that’s bugged me about TPWP for a little while, which is why I’ve made Taka so sexual despite not really thinking he would be like that in canon. In my attempt to write about that, my exhausted self also went into another problem I have with TPWP, which is the fact that neither Taka nor Mondo are really like their canon selves anymore. And while that was a purposeful thing, I never could pinpoint why, and I think I managed to in this post, so there’s that, ha. 

Now, it’s getting late and I’m very tired, so I’ll add my introspective thingy in a read more. It’s about 5k words and goes over a lot about Taka and Mondo’s interpretation in TPWP. 

Hey all! So, I wanted to go over something that’s been bugging me for a while in TPWP, though no one else seems annoyed by it. But I kind of am, so I just wanted to… I don’t know. Discuss it in case anyone else also has problems with it, but just isn’t bringing it up in comments. And the thing that I wanted to talk about is the fact that I’ve made Taka and Mondo so sexual in this story, despite this not really striking me as something Taka, in particular, would be like. In order to discuss all that, though, I have to go through a bunch of other explanations about what my main goal in this story has always been, as a kind of backstory. So, buckle up, my friends. This is a doozy.

 See, while I didn’t have much of an idea when I started writing, the one thing I knew I wanted to play around with was the idea of dismantling Taka and everything that makes him tick. In the game, he is shown as a strict, passionate, highly motivated character, spending so much time studying and trying to better himself that he lost sight of who he is other than that. He doesn’t have friends and confesses to Makoto that he doesn’t even understand how people make friends through connecting over things like television, since he’s so detached from anything other than his goals. The writers even comment on how he is almost mad with his passion and righteousness. 

 That whole persona seems so unattainable to me. I’m someone who seeks ‘perfection,’ right? I’m a perfectionist and it burns me so much to know that no matter what I do, there will always, ALWAYS be faults in the things I create. I put myself and my creations against others and always find myself lacking. It burns me and makes me feel so… I don’t even know. Unhappy.  Upset. Things like that. And I’ve gotten much better with this over the years, right? I accept that my work will not be perfect, and that anything I can create is enough since I created it and I enjoyed creating it. But the feeling is still there. The unhappiness. The discontent. 

 So, when I saw Taka and his madness to become better, I wanted to take that and see if I could deconstruct it. If I could break Taka down to his core, expose all of the secret little things inside of him that he must be hiding to present such a ‘perfect’ front, and turn it on its side. To give Taka reasons for his madness to better himself and then take it apart. Or, in other words, the entire premise I had for this story was to take Taka and break him down. And then, then I would build him back up. Into something less ‘perfect,’ less rules oriented, but a hell of a lot happier. Because in canon… Taka didn’t really strike me as happy. Not based on the things he would say to Makoto in both free time events and the school mode. 

 In order to do that, of course, I had to completely break apart the things that made him so rule oriented in the first place. And to someone who has spent almost their entire life building up this one persona, that sort of thing can be terrifying and uncomfortable. And it can lead to a lot of confusion and scrambling afterwards. 

 Chapter 17 was where I made the biggest break for Taka. I’d been chipping away at him for the first 16 chapters, and then 17 was the one where I took my sledgehammer and went to town. That chapter was the one in which Taka realized just how unhappy and discontent he had been growing up. He’d always stuffed that down and ignored it in order to keep going, forcing himself to ignore his pain so that he could become all that he wanted to be. He wasn’t even conscious of doing this since it was so deeply engrained in him by that point. Like I said in the very first chapter, Taka would run so fast and so fervently from his insecurities growing up that he didn’t even notice that they were occurring within him. Or if he did, he ignored them until it all went away.

 In chapter 17, Taka stopped being able to run. His feelings for Mondo created a huge rift inside him and he didn’t know how to handle it. And then, after his conversion with his father, he realized that he’d been forcing everything down for all of his life, to the point that he didn’t know who he was. He wanted to be an upright, moral individual, but how could he be if he is in love with a man? How can he be when he can feel such impure, base desire for someone, a man especially? And I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with a man loving a man, not at all! Just… it went against the carefully constructed morality Taka, personally, had spent his entire life forcing himself to abide by, and that was a huge blow to him. He couldn’t comprehend it and he just… fell apart. 

 But he didn’t fall apart alone. Mondo was there to catch him as he fell, was there to help gather the pieces, and Taka latched onto that. He didn’t know what was happening or why, but he knew that Mondo was a vital component to all of it. In a way… Mondo was everything to him. 

 The main point is that I wanted to break Taka’s character apart, mostly because I cannot imagine someone being that moral and upright while not being completely miserable (or without actually being completely immoral, like all those people who preach righteousness while actually doing horrible things behind the scenes without care). There’s a sort of misery in enforced righteousness, especially considering how horrible the world can be. I liked Taka and I wanted him to be happy. And I couldn’t, for the life of me, imagine him being the way he was portrayed in the game and also being happy. Maybe that’s just me projecting, but… I don’t know. 

 But deconstructing years of a carefully constructed persona is— like I said— terrifying. And for someone like Taka, whose entire life plan was crafted around a certain image? I can only imagine that would be like jumping off a plane into a black, inky darkness, no idea where you’re going to land. But Taka did that, because the only other option was to continue living with intense unhappiness, lying to himself to keep his sanity. But the problem with lying to yourself is that it gets so much harder once you know the truth. It can be done, of course, but it leads to even more unhappiness and pain and Taka… Taka realized that he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to be in pain anymore. He… he wanted to be happy. Which is an incredibly hard thing to accept when you’ve spent years silently accepting your own unhappiness as a fact of life. 

 As such, everything that has occurred since chapter 17 has been Taka’s attempt at constructing a new personality, in a way. A personality that marries the beliefs and goals he has always had while also combining them with a new sense of happiness and contentment in his life that before now he’s never felt. And this… this is so, so hard for him to do. 

 And it gets harder when his and Mondo’s relationship shifts. When he gets a taste of something he’d previously not allowed himself to ever, ever feel. Which brings us to the questions of why, exactly, I put so much sexual content into this story, despite it not seeming like something Taka would really want to do in canon.

 Because… it’s not about pleasure. Right? It was never about pleasure or desire. It was about Taka allowing himself to feel something that every human feels (or, you know. Not every human. But a lot). It was about making Taka acknowledge that he is feeling these ‘impure,’ ‘sinful’ desires and allowing him to feel it. And, of course, this can be overwhelming. Taka has never allowed himself to feel these sorts of things before, had always pushed them so far down he couldn’t even see them. So far down he could pretend they weren’t there. 

 But they were. They always were. Taka can feel desire and attraction. He can feel them just fine. The whole point of the sexual content was to show Taka that it is okay to feel like that and that it’s not wrong or immoral. That Taka can feel attracted to someone, a man especially, and not feel ashamed. But more than that, it’s about allowing Taka to acknowledge that can be who is he in general without shame. That he doesn’t always have to be ‘perfect’ or infallible. That he can just be… Taka.

 The biggest problem in all of this, however, is the fact that Taka is not the only character in this story. He’s not the only one going through a metamorphosis. Because Mondo? Oh, you can bet your sweet behind I was making Mondo go through his own metamorphosis, too. 

 Because everything I said about Taka up until now? I also feel about Mondo. I view Mondo’s tough guy, biker persona just like I view Taka’s upright, moral one. It’s a facade. Something that is hiding what is truly going on under the surface. It protects their soft, gooey innards, keeping them both safe whilst also providing them a sense of being. Of belonging. 

 But it’s not healthy. Hiding behind a persona, not letting your true emotions show. It’s unhealthy and leads to, you know… pain and unhappiness. And Mondo… Mondo also strikes me as a somewhat unhappy character. His disconnect in the game is less towards other people, however, and more towards himself. Makoto acknowledges many times after speaking with Mondo during free time events that he has a hidden side to him. A softer, ‘cuter’ side that he tries (and fails, ha) to keep hidden. 

 Like with Taka, I wanted to break Mondo’s carefully constructed persona and remove this hidden person inside him. I wanted to bring that person to the surface, finally allowing Mondo to stop feeling like he has to hide behind anger and rage and being ‘strong’. I wanted… I don’t know. To allow Mondo to not feel so ashamed of his weaker side, I guess. 

 This was a lot harder to do than with Taka, though, for a couple reasons. One, I was not writing from Mondo’s perspective in TPWP, which means all of his metamorphosis was being seen through the eyes of another. Which is not always easy to portray, sadly. For another, Mondo has a huge reason to keep his inner self hidden and locked away. Taka’s reason is shame and a desire to prove himself, right? This, in my eyes, is fairly simple to deconstruct. All you have to do is find a way to remove the shame and realize that it’s okay to feel what you feel. And yes, this is challenging, but… it’s not impossible. 

 Mondo, though? What’s keeping Mondo back isn’t just shame and a desire to prove himself. No. What’s holding Mondo back is guilt. Mondo feels guilty for his weakness. He feels guilty that his supposed ‘weakness’ killed his brother. He feels guilty that this same ‘weakness’ is preventing him from telling the truth, from accepting the responsibility for his supposed crime. Mondo, in many ways, hates himself. In this story, at least. And guilt is a much, much harder emotion to deconstruct than shame. There’s also the fact that I made Mondo an abuse survivor, which adds another element into this all that I won’t get into since this whole thing is already much longer than I’d initially intended, oof. 

 Anyway. The point here is that both Taka and Mondo are going through this metamorphosis at the same time. And I did this purposely since I wanted to have them help each other grow. Right? Because I view Taka and Mondo as very similar characters. They both have a need to prove themselves and a sense of inner righteousness that guides them in what they do. They just took opposite paths in their expression of these things. But ultimately, at their core, Taka and Mondo are very similar in my eyes. 

 Honestly, that’s part of why I had them hate one another in the beginning (on top of the fact that they didn’t get along in the game at first either, ha). That was each of them seeing themself in the other, and absolutely hating what they saw. Because they hate themselves. Because they cannot stand the persona they’ve created. Because it’s such a painfully false front that it’s almost offensive to them to see it on another. 

 Chapter ten was my way of letting them acknowledge a sense of self love for the first time. By accepting the other as flawed, but still fundamentally good, it allowed them to see themselves in a somewhat positive light for the first time. To accept that this person they once hated with all of their heart is… not that bad when it comes down to it. And not only are they not that bad, but they’re actually kind of amazing, really. 

 I… hm. I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I am very tired and am kind of just rambling at this point. I guess I just… I wanted to acknowledge that I’ve changed both of these characters a lot from canon, Taka especially. And this change has been expressed in a great way in Taka’s increased sexuality. And that I know this, that I know this isn’t really what canon Taka would act like, but that’s kind of the point. As much as I love Taka as a character, he’s kind of one dimensional. All of the characters in Danganronpa are. I think, in a way, they’re meant to be. But when you spend time with them, during the free time events and the school mode, you begin to see a slightly more well-rounded picture. 

 But it… it still feels a little flat to me. A little hollow. So, in this story, I just… wanted to flesh out these characters that I like and see so much potential in. I wanted to take them, give them tragic backstories, and see if I could find a way to give them balance. To keep them somewhat the same as they once were, to not fully remove their canon aspects, but not have that be their sole, defining characteristic anymore. Taka is still the Ultimate Moral Compass, and Mondo is still the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader. But that’s not all they are. Not by the end of the story. 

 Now, did I succeed in my plan? I… honestly, I don’t know. This entire thing was never something I consciously thought of while writing. It was more… a desire of mine, which might be why I’m having such a hard time describing it here, ha. It’s up to all of you to determine if I succeeded in writing these characters in a way that respects their canon characterization, while also adding a sense of balance within them. 

 Also— not to sound pretentious (though I know I am, oof. I always am when dead tired, sorry)— but in a way, this whole story was a metaphor for self-acceptance and self-love. And allowing yourself to find peace in who and what you are, no matter what. I made Taka and Mondo literary parallels in this story for a reason, giving them similar backstories (Taka was abused by bullies and neglected by his father; Mondo was abused by his father and neglected by his mother. Mondo’s brother died, leaving a hole in his heart; Taka’s mother died, leaving a hole in his heart. Taka watched his grandfather fall from grace and used that as a catalyst to ‘better’ himself, thus hiding all the unpleasant and unsavory aspects about himself; Mondo watched his brother die and used that as a catalyst to ‘better’ himself, thus hiding all the unpleasant and unsavory aspects about himself… etc.) to showcase this metaphor, in a way. 

 And it… it was to show that them helping the other grow symbolizes allowing yourself to grow, too. It symbolizes taking all the harsh and ugly parts of yourself that you hate, seeing it in another person, and realizing you actually love them, really. It symbolizes showing kindness to yourself for your faults, something I personally struggle with. By having Taka and Mondo love one another so fiercely, even without fully knowing why… it symbolizes, in my mind, letting you love yourself. 

 And, like… I know how pretentious this sounds, ha. And I don’t think I really succeeded in portraying all of this, unfortunately. But I just… I don’t know. I love the idea of Taka and Mondo and I wanted to write a story where they love one another unconditionally, while at the same time learning to love themselves too. 

 In many ways, I wish I had made this story take place over the span of a longer amount of time. Three months is just… it’s too quick to do everything I wanted to do in this story. Like I’ve said before, this story was never meant to be so long, word count wise. And a lot of what I wrote about here was not really planned when I started writing. While I wanted to deconstruct Taka, I didn’t really realize how long that would take, oof. Or what it all would entail. I thought three months would be plenty of time in universe, but then more and more things started happening, and by the time I realized it would need more time to progress naturally, I had passed the point of no return, pretty much.

 If I could do this story all over again, I think I’d make it take place over the span of a year instead. I’d start the school year in April, like it’s supposed to be in Japan, and extend the amount of time Taka and Mondo were enemies. I’d have them become friends shortly before summer break and when they come back, have them go through the beginnings of their friendship like I had it in the story, but allowing it more time to progress. Taka and Mondo would still have their fight on Halloween, since that’s kind of an important aspect of that chapter, but they’d have had a longer time to be friends before that occurred. And then, after that, they’d have their physical relationship progress a lot more naturally and less hurriedly, the relationship spanning from perhaps right before winter break begins to the end of the school year in Japan, which is March. It would give them more time to come to terms with everything and accept themselves. 

 Part of me honestly kind of does want to change around TPWP to do this, but it would change a lot of fundamental parts of the story, which would be a lot of work. And if I was planning on publishing this story, I’d definitely do it since I think it would fix a lot of the problems that I have with how this story progresses. Three months is not long enough to completely deconstruct your entire personality, really. A year is a lot better and makes more sense to me. But, as it stands, I… I like TPWP. Is it perfect? No. But… that’s kind of the point? Nothing is perfect and if I allow myself, I’ll keep digging myself into more and more holes with this story, and at some point, I just… have to acknowledge I did the best I could and move on. Also, I do think that having it take place over three months isn’t completely unrealistic. Not with how unhappy both Taka and Mondo already had been. And there are some things that would be unrealistic if it took place over a year, too, so… eh.

 I really don’t know where I’m going with this anymore, dear god. I’m going to go back to my original point real quick and hopefully finish this now hour long, rambling rant I’ve for some reason been going on. Jeez. 

 So. The purpose of the sexual content in this story. It— like a lot of other things in this story— was more meant as kind of like… a metaphor. It’s not about the sex, it’s about self-acceptance. Taka spent so many years denying himself and his sexuality, fearing it and feeling ashamed of it. By allowing himself to be sexual and intimate with Mondo, he’s accepting that aspect of himself and embracing it. But, because he spent so long denying it, he doesn’t quite know when it’s too much. He’s spent his life pushing down his discontent and discomfort to become what other people want him to be, and as such, he doesn’t quite know where his own boundaries lie. 

 And I’m going to be quite honest with y’all: Taka doesn’t enjoy the sexual acts quite as much as he thinks he does. No, I’m not saying that Mondo is taking advantage of Taka, or that Taka hates what they’re doing, not at all! Just… Taka feels uncomfortable with the things he and Mondo are doing, but because he enjoys the sensation and enjoys being close to Mondo, he pushes down the feeling of discontent, like he’s done all of his life. He just… doesn’t know what else to do. He knows he likes being close to Mondo, knows he enjoys the things they do together, but can’t quite put his finger on the fact that he doesn’t really enjoy being sexual. That he only likes the sexual acts because it’s the only way he can be close to Mondo in the way he wants, both physically and— in a way— emotionally. 

 And part of Taka does realize this, right? The deep, deep, hidden part of himself that only comes out at night when everything else is silent. I call this the ‘introspective’ part. But this is a hard part of yourself to access and acknowledge. Especially when you’re young. I, personally, am a very introspective person. It’s why I can write about emotions and feelings decently, and why I am currently writing this little introspective about TPWP. But it was a lot harder for me when I was a teen to realize what that introspection meant. It’s why I didn’t realize I had undiagnosed anxiety until I was eighteen and in college, which was ironically a lot easier for me than high school was. It took me being out of the situation I was in to look at myself and realize exactly why I felt what I felt, even though I knew I felt that stuff much earlier. 

 Taka’s still in his bad situation, though. He’s still struggling with the desire of what he wants and what he’s forcing himself to settle for. And, basically, he doesn’t understand why he’s unhappy at being sexual. He knows on a base level that he is, but he can’t quite place his finger on the why. Which is, as I’ve said, because it’s not really what he wants. He’s settling for having Mondo in whatever way he can because he thinks he has to. But it’s not what he wants, and it’s honestly killing him inside to be so close to his desired outcome, but not have it. He hates that the only way he can have Mondo is in such a shallow, debased way, but he’s forced himself to believe that this is all he will ever have, and that he must be happy with it or else he will lose it, like he’s lost every good thing in his life before that point. And the thought of losing what he and Mondo have is just… it’s too much for him. He’s still figuring himself out, still building his new personality from the ruins of the old, and he kind of needs Mondo to help prop him up as he does this. 

 (Which is, by the way, unhealthy in a relationship. It’s very codependent and can lead to some negative outcomes in its own right. But this rant of mine has been going on for almost two hours, so I’m not going to get into this right now. Just know that I know, and that it’s not intended to be portrayed as a good thing. None of Taka’s coping mechanisms are, which is why they all fail in the end, leaving him discontent. But as of now, Taka kind of needs Mondo, so he’s overlooking the potential negative outcome and is just allowing himself to have Mondo. Make sense?) 

 In the end, the only way for Taka to fully come to terms with everything that is swirling within him is to have Mondo acknowledge the love they share for each other, since he can’t accept everything about himself until Mondo does. He needs Mondo to look at him, look at his flaws, and say ‘I love you no matter what. You are not perfect, but I still love you.’ And while Mondo has done this to some degree, it’s not the love Taka not-so-secretly desires. But, like I said earlier, Mondo is going through his own metamorphosis and isn’t quite at that stage yet. 

 All of this comes to a head in the last three chapters of TPWP. Does everything get resolved by the end? No. Of course not. There’s just not enough time for that. Discovering yourself takes years, really. And you never finish. Even if I had elongated the amount of time this story takes place to a year, there still would be things unresolved when the story ended. 

 That being said, the main problems both Taka and Mondo are going through reach a conclusion. I don’t want to go too much into this to prevent spoilers, but just know that everything I brought up here? Gets some form of acknowledgment in the last chapters and gets some manner of resolution. And everything else was initially intended to be resolved in sequels, which may or may not be written, who knows. But TPWP ends in a way that even without further writing from my part, I firmly believe that all of y’all can see where Mondo and Taka will go from here. That it won’t be easy, but that they will eventually figure themselves out. 

 So… yeah. That insanely long and complicated rant boils down to this: Taka and Mondo being sexual is not really about them being sexual but is about them understanding and accepting their love not just for one another, but for themselves, too. It’s a catalyst. And I didn’t go over Mondo’s views on this all, and I won’t since this has gone on so long (plus I’ve not written Mondo’s perspective on those chapters yet, so even I don’t fully know, though I have ideas), but believe me when I say it’s more than just sex for him, too. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t really want to categorize this story as explicit at first, since it’s never been about the sex to me. It’s… more than that. 

 I don’t know if any of this made any sense, but I think I’m going to stop now. Maybe I’ll go back when I’m less tired and expand on this (and I’ll let y’all know if I do, writing after this break if I added anything or not) (I added a little to some parts and took out a couple of parts, but mostly this is the same thing I wrote between 5 and 7 am when I couldn’t sleep, ha), but for now, I’ll leave it. 

  ~

And— final thing (that I added after trying to fall back asleep and failing, ha)— maybe I’m being more pretentious about my writing than it deserves. Maybe I’m saying all of this to try and excuse the flaws in my writing, like I always do internally. But… I don’t know. This is legitimately the sort of thing that went through my head whilst writing. I knew I wanted to put these elements in my story, even if I wasn’t consciously thinking about it, but trying to do all of that is just… hard. And I’m limited as a writer, I’ll acknowledge that. My thoughts are too big for my head and trying to write them all down is complicated for me. It’s why this little introspective is so long and rambling. It’s my way of trying to not just get you all to figure out what I mean, but also get myself to understand it. Because, while I know what I mean on an abstract, metaphysical level, I don’t really understand it all myself in a concrete, definable level. And this rambling is me trying to make sense of that. Does… does that make any sense at all? Or is this just gibberish? I don’t know. I think I understand it, but I have no idea if anyone else will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 Anyway. I hope this didn’t come across as too pretentious or like I’m trying to show off how ~~intellectual~~ I am. That’s not my intention at all. It’s just… it’s how I think. And it’s how I show myself to the world, in a way. My written work is always so personal to me. I put a lot of myself into my work, sometimes intentionally, but often unintentionally. And I’m not saying I went through any of what I put Mondo or Taka through. In fact, almost none of it relates to my life at all. I was never abused by anyone, nor was I bullied in school. I have a fairly good relationship with my parents and was well liked by my classmates, even when I didn’t really go to class often due to illness. I am not impoverished, nor have I ever really faced high expectations from family or the people around me. I’ve never really had to anguish over my sexuality, since I accepted myself as asexual pretty easily, though I still struggle to be open about it with everyone. And I’ve never lost a loved one.

 So… no. It’s not that I’ve gone through what the characters have gone through. But… the emotions. The feeling. All of that… it’s me. Even if it’s imagined or created, I feel everything that I write and put down. It’s why angst comes more naturally to me, since I’ve felt a lot of negative emotions in my life. And most of it is self-inflicted. Like… I mentioned that I never had high expectations from family, but I did from myself. I expected so, so much from myself, and I still do. And while I was always well liked by my peers, I still felt alienated from them, like I… I don’t know. Didn’t really belong. And I feared that if they ever got to truly know me, THEN they’d hate me, and that was just… I don’t know. Too much for me. The thought that these things could happen. That I could have good things and then, through my own personal failings, lose them. 

 These fears are where I come from when writing. My fear of being hated and isolated. My fear of never being enough. My fear of letting everyone down. My fear of always being alone and losing the people I love. I write about it in my stories and I… I find a way to fix it. To show myself that even if something like that did happen, it… it can get better. You can still be loved even if you are flawed and kind of broken inside. And maybe I don’t believe that I ever will find love, maybe I can’t believe that anyone would look at me like that if they truly got to know me, but it’s still nice to read about it. To see my fears in characters I love and have them be okay in the end. It’s why I always like to have at least somewhat happy endings in my stories. I need to see that it’s okay. That even if the worst-case scenario happened… I’d still be okay. 

 (Also, I know people are going to ask this, but please know that yes, I am okay. I get like this sometimes, where I think a lot about stuff, and it can be overwhelming, which is why I write it down. It’s funny that I’ve never had a diary or journal, since it seems like something that would help me, but writing things down for my personal perusal never made sense to me. It’s why I always post things like this. It’s really personal, but it helps me feel better. Like I’m being understood in some way. So, just… know that I’m doing alright. I just wanted to try and explain something that has been bugging me in this story for a while now that I finally found the words for. And by letting it out into the world, I can remove it from my chest, I suppose. But introspection doesn’t really upset me much. It’s cathartic more than anything. Painful and confusing while going through it but relieving once it’s done. All I ask is to be heard, that’s all. And understood if possible. If you’re willing.)

 (Also also, please know that I wrote this little introspective several days ago while very tired, and I’m over this burst of emotions by now mostly. So, again, I’m really okay. And I’m not pulling a Taka, trying to pretend I’m doing alright when I’m not. I do mean it, ha.)

 (Also also also, but y’all can see where I get my writing style from when looking at this, ha. This is basically my thought process written down, which is why TPWP is written the way it is. I write like I think, which is long, rambling, and emotive. Just a little fun fact. ^-^)

#Random ramblings #TPWP introspective

[getofy]

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

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#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

-

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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[sh1tbird-shantytown]

Ah thank you for answering my Stommy ask i loved it a lot. Can i get some more Stommy.

Okay so like what if Tommy finally sees what Steve's doing with the kids amd the mindflayer and acts like he's down to help and he is he wants to help steve.

But at the same time he has a bit of a breakdown infront of everyone and his whole bad boy persona drops and he's scared he didn't expect this, he didn't believe in anything like this before and he doesn't understand how steve does it.

Can i get some Johnathan being sympathetic to Tommy and sort coming to an understanding with him, and they get eachother, (i like to think that Tommy isn't rich like steve and is more like the byers than everyone thought. Like he comes from a broken home and all the fancy clothes he gets from steve)

Ooo and some tommy and johnathan being like ugh "rich people"

Will and Tommy moment though where will is like :O and Tommy takes him under his wing like Steve did with Dustin

Whoa this is long. Im so sorry. I hope you have a good day.

stommy for sure. thanks, hun!

===

He didn’t expect it to happen. He never really did, he would get a call from Hopper or Joyce or Dustin usually. Cancel everything and go play near death whack-a-mole for a few hours. He’s gotten real good at it at this point. Tommy was suspicious, started asking questions.

“Where are you going off to?” he’d shown up at the Harrington house. Steve wouldn’t let him in, his bag of monster hunting supplies and his stained nail bat poking out prominently. “Or do you have someone in there with you?” Tommy moved his head around to search behind Steve’s shoulders.

“No, Tom,” Steve put his hands up, “Some stuff just came up. An emergency.”

“Is your mother in the hospital? Is your father back home and he’s sending you out for errands so he can invite his side chick over—“

Steve leaned against the doorway, unamused, “—Come on, Tom, that’s not funny.”

But Tommy didn’t stop, “—Is Dustin sick? What’s so important that you had to cancel twice on me this week? Huh!” Steve closed his eyes for a brief moment, collecting his bearings. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.

“Look,” he slowly took Tommy’s hand, the other watching with clear suspicion. “I would much rather stay in with you and watch your stupid drama movies.” The other’s face twisted a little but he listened. “Hopper needs me right now, important, top secret, emergency.” He squeezed Tommy’s fingers a little with every accentuated word. “It’s best that you don’t know, you’re safer that way.” He had hoped that would get Tommy to back off. Wishful thinking.

Tommy shook his head and crossed his arms defiantly, “I’m coming with you for sure now. You don’t get to keep things like this from me now. No secrets.” Steve opened his mouth but Tommy pinched his arm, interrupting him. “No secrets! Okay? You don’t get to go risk yourself, or whatever you’re implying, and leave me in the dark!” Tommy stomped his foot and Steve had the mind to assume he’d been paying attention to all his sisters way of dealing with their own boyfriends. Tommy cupped both sides of his cheeks when Steve sighed. “I am your boyfriend,” he made Steve look at him. Tommy looked concerned, face wrinkled and cheeks pale. “I deserve to know.”

His shoulders sank as he gave in, “You’re not going to like it. Probably won’t even believe it.”

Tommy glared, “Try me.”

Steve went back into the house and grabbed his bag. Tommy quickly noticed the bat, obvious about it with his wide eyes not meeting Steve’s own and instead on the spikes peaking out over his shoulder. He didn’t ask yet though. Instead, he followed Steve all the way to the BMW and then got in the passenger side.

Steve looked over at Tommy sitting rigidly before starting the ignition. There were intense lines between his eyebrows and his lips were being abused by him biting them. He started gnawing on his fingernails when Steve made a decision.

He stepped out quick and Tommy startled, “Where are you going now?”

Steve leaned back in, antsy, “I’m going to get you a weapon.” Tommy looked like he desperately wanted to ask, Steve waited, but Tommy just sat back with his leg bouncing. He sighed again and Tommy glanced over at the noise. “You don’t have to come. It’d be better if you just stayed here until I get back.” Tommy folded his arms, leg still going up and down due to the weight of his hand not lessening it.

“Like hell I am,” he grumbled, “Go get me something if it’s so necessary.” Steve’s shoulders and ankles were tense and locked a little in place. This wasn’t going to end well even if Tommy believe him. He wasn’t supposed to add anyone else to the group. All he had as an excuse was Tommy’s unrelenting behavior and how immediate and stressed Hopper had sounded when he called. The excuse that maybe more help was necessary.

So Steve went to the shed and found a chain. A long iron chain that his father had used to hold the fence gate between theirs and the neighbors’ yards shut. He went back to the car with it in hand. When he sat back down Tommy stared wonderingly at it. Steve dropped it in his lap, the sound heavy as it slipped slowly to the car floor and clanked together.

“Can you still lasso?” he asked quietly. Didn’t want to trigger Tommy into some spell of hysterics.

Tommy swallowed and his eyes grew even more serious than before, “Yeah, yeah I can still lasso.”

Steve looked from the chain to Tommy’s face a few times, “Can you do to the same with that as you can a rope if we need you to?” He’d seen Tommy lasso, done some himself in the summers on the Hagan farm. Their small farm that housed loads of milk cows. It was a nice escape, mostly outdoors and their house was rundown only a little. Obviously warn from love and family and sweet time. Something real against the Harrington’s artificial capsule.

Tommy nodded again, “I can make it work.” When Steve didn’t catch Tommy’s eye for another minute or so, he started out to the Byers’ house. He could tell Tommy was trying to pay attention to the route but he kept messing with the chain. Steve knew he was forming it around to form the lasso correctly. Had seen Tommy sit on a bale of hay and mess with a rope the same way.

They pulled up to the dusty driveway and Tommy finally looked up with recognization, “Who exactly is involved in all this?”

Steve parked and neither of them moved, “Well, we’ve got all the Byers, Mike and Nancy Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, Dustin, and Hopper”

Tommy glared over at him and opened his door, “What kind of shit have you gotten yourself into?”

Steve only smiled thinly and he stepped out to grab his bag from the backseat before heading up to the door. Hopper was smoking and watched him as Tommy slowly gathered his chain.

“What did you do now?” Hopper didn’t sound surprised.

Steve could only shrug, “He insisted.”

Hopper took a drawn out puff, “Well you should have resisted.”

Steve turned his neck to glimpse as Tommy closing the car door, “You trying resisting a Hagan and then get back to me.”

Hopper raised a brow and flicked the ash off the filter, “Just keep him by you and make sure he doesn’t get hurt. I don’t want to have to explain to his parents.”

Steve rubbed his upper arm as Tommy walked up to his side, “Why would I get hurt? And what’s wrong with my parents?” he ordered defensively.

Hopper sighed and squished the cherry out in an outdoor ashtray balanced on the porch railing, “Nothing, kid. Your father just doesn’t like me.”

Tommy muttered something Steve only just barely caught, “You just can’t leave an innocent drunk man alone on a Friday night.”

“What’s that?” Hopper’s eyes narrowed. Tommy folded his arms and didn’t respond, only shook his head once.

Steve looked between the two. He knew Tommy’s father liked to drink sometimes. Mostly after a long day working on harvesting hay bales and tending to their cows. Knew his mother and Tommy’s sisters hated when he did. Tommy didn’t know how to feel, got mad at Steve when he tried to sympathize. A few of their fights had ended in Tommy throwing the fact that Steve’s father was never really around back in his face. Yelling he wouldn’t understand. Couldn’t. Not the same way.

“What’s the code?” he asked to break the heavy tensions, to at least try. Instead a new sort of shadow surrounded them.

“Orange,” Hopper took his hat off and rubbed his forehead, “Looks like more strays are picking off cattle at night. We need to go catch them.”

Tommy perked up, “Cattle? So you do know what’s been picking our calves off?” he shouted. “What is it? Why are you hiding it from the town? Us farmers!” He was livid and when Steve touched his arm to comfort, it was whacked away. He stepped back, a bit betrayed. The adrenaline in Tommy must have picked up already. He only acted like this when he was wound up tight and angry. Hopper was silent for a long moment as Tommy huffed his breaths in and out, upset.

He turned around to the house and said, “You’re about to find out,” before the door opened and closed.

“What is going on, Harrington?” Tommy asked, desperate now. Desperate for answers he hadn’t asked for. Made Steve annoyed that he allowed himself to get pent up again. Out of control of himself, the opposite of what they’d been working on. He took Tommy’s hands gently, at least thankful for Tommy allowing that much.

“I need you to take a few deep breaths, Sweetheart,” he used his calm tone. Used it for the kids when they got too scared sometimes. “This isn’t going to get any easier, so if you want to step out, do it now.” He waited and Tommy didn’t move, didn’t really do anything besides stare at him. “Is that a no?”

“I’m not leaving,” Tommy stated stubbornly.

“No one would think any less of you,” Steve said deeply, “We all wish we didn’t have to deal with this shit. You can go back home, you wouldn’t be able to tell people about this. The government will confiscate you otherwise.”

Tommy scoffed, “So my father isn’t some crazy conspiracy theorist.” Steve didn’t answer, didn’t really want to, didn’t think he needed to.

“It’s scary, Tom.”

Tommy puffed out his chest, “I don’t care. I’m staying with you and that’s final.”

The door opened and Dustin started yelling, “Son of a bitch, why is he here, Steve? Get your ass in here, we need to start planning!” Steve turned and Dustin started attempting to drag him up the porch. “We’ve got target on three different farms tonight.” He stopped and Steve almost tripped on the last stop. He asked Tommy, “Dont you live on one?”

Tommy’s shoulders rose, “What’s it to you?” Dustin glanced at Steve, who was giving a warning glance, shrugged his shoulders and headed inside again.

Steve grabbed the door and held it open for Tommy, “Come on then!” Tommy ran up and into the house, the warm waft of heat blown into their faces. Joyce met them first, Dustin rushing back into the other room.

She eyes Tommy worriedly, “Did you tell him anything yet?” Steve shook his head. She wasn’t mad, she instead waved then in more, “Well then we have quite a bit to catch you up then, huh?” she smiled welcoming. Walked them in through to where everyone was already staring over a map of Hawkins. Red circles around what Steve assumed were the farms being threatened.

Nancy’s face twisted, “What’s up with this?” she gestured to Tommy and his chain clutched in his fist.

“He wants in,” Steve shrugged and stepped forward to look at the map between Hopper and Dustin, “Not like we couldn’t use the help.”

Nancy scowled, “We can manage.”

“Yeah,” Mike butted in.

Steve glared at her, “Let it go, Nance. He’s here and that’s it, please.” She looked at Johnathan but John looked at Tommy just as openly as his mother had.

“You know how to throw that?” he looked at the dark chain links.

Tommy nodded and pointed to the west circle, “That’s my farm. Well, my dad’s.” He looked sheepish, like he was admitting something.

“Cool,” Steve heard Will whisper.

Johnathan smiled more just as Nancy’s frown deepened, “Didn’t know you were in the lower levels like us.” Tommy frowned and Nancy scolded John with a slap to the arm. “It’s just cool is all,” he defended himself from her onslaught.

Tommy grew confused, “Cool?”

John nodded, “Tuff,” he grinned. Tommy smirked and eased down, comfortably joining Steve by his side.

“So do I get the backstory or what?” Everyone else looked at Hopper.

The man rolled his eyes but relented, “Keep up,” he pointed at Tommy gruffly. The boy nodded and Steve planted a grounding hand on his shoulder. “When Will went missing he was actually trapped in a different dimension. There’s El, who isn’t here right now, she was an experiment.” His voice with filled with distaste. “ She has powers, telekinesis. She’s resting right now so she can—“

“Which is stupid,” Mike snapped, “She’s not ready—“ Lucas and Dustin elbowed him to shut him up.

Hopper didn’t even look at the kids, “She’s getting ready to fight the bigger problem, the mindflayer. Something that likes possessing people. Watch out for that,” he tipped his hat back. “But there are big dogs from that other dimension sneaking in like your average coyote onto farms. So we have to go out and clean them out.” Steve eyed Tommy’s face which was stoney. Hopper turned back to the table and map when he fingered Tommy had at least taken all of what he said in through his ears to process eventually. “We’re hitting it by groups. Joyce and I will go to Merrill’s. Nancy, Johnathan, Will, and Mike are going to Tinnerman’s. Steve, Tommy, Dustin, and Lucas are at Hagan’s. Got that?” he looked around. When no one disagreed he backed away.

Steve took his bag off and set it on top of the map, “You still have that tire iron?” he asked Dustin as he took out his lighter.

“Yep,” the kid nodded, “Still behind the house, I’ll go get it,” he ran off.

Steve only had to look at Lucas for an answer, “Got my pockets full of rocks and marbles this time.”

Steve smiled small but assuring, “Good.”

Everyone walked off to retrieve their own weapons or start their own vehicles. Except Steve and Tommy. Tommy was pale and his eyes were greyish.

“Hey,” Steve rubbed a thumb across his freckled cheek, “What’s going on in your head?” he whispered.

Tommy looked up and took in a shaky breath, “I’m ready to kill some monsters?” The questioning tone didn’t surprise Steve, the words did though. He didn’t ask, didn’t want to over work Tommy’s mind already. Not when they still had a long night ahead.

===

The Hagan property was the smallest of the three Hawkins farms. Fencing behind them that was meant to keep cattle on grounds, then a big barn, then the Hagan house. But it wasn’t meant to be called “small” either. The cattle were safe in the barn as long as they all stayed attentive and ready to kill off any demodog invaders. Simple, all in a days work. But Tommy was shaking like a leaf and Steve heard rustling from their right.

He stepped ahead a few steps just as Dustin and Lucas yelled out at the shadow creeping out of the trees. Tommy cursed loudly, so much so Steve feared Tommy’s mother would wake from it all the way in the house. He swung his bat to stabilize himself and then went to town on the thing’s neck, back, and head. It went down quick and others started coming out more and more. Lucas slung-shot his own ammunition and Dustin kept them back with Steve’s lighter and a can of hairspray.

“Can you get that one, Tom?” he shouted over the growls of a new dog as one ran past him to the fence.

It was a pretty quick success all things considering. The carcasses laid around Steve in wide diameter, gunk sprung all over the grass and tree bark. But as silence carried no more sounds carried out from the darkness.

He faced the group, Dustin parking things back into Steve bag and pulling out water bottles. Lucas was trying to wipe the sweat from his face.

Then Steve caught sight of Tommy standing still. Too still. He panicked.

“Tom?” he whisper yelled as he ran up to him. Grabbed his arms and then his head, “Tommy, are you alright?” Tommy’s pale face reflected streaks of luminescent tracks in the moonlight. His eyes looked frozen wide. “Hey,” he wiped away the tears with his thumbs and made Tommy make eye contact. Which seems to blow him out of his stupor. He started breathing sporadically. Steve hugged him and started breathing in and out exaggeratedly. “Match me, Sweetheart,” he whispered. Breathed in and waited as Tommy matched it. Exhaled and patiently listened.

By the time Tommy was lax against him, exhausted and adrenaline all gone, Steve had decided they were done. He snapped his fingers to grab Lucas and Dustin’s attention.

“Yo, call Hopper and see what they’re up to, please,” he threw one of Tommy’s arms over his shoulders. Started leading them back to his car a little ways away. Tommy wouldn’t speak, Steve had the mind to assume he was in shock. Knew the feeling himself. But the amount Tommy was still partially immobile on his own was concerning. “Can you signal to me how your feeling, Tommy? What can I do for you?” he asked as he opened the car door and worked his boyfriend into the passenger seat. He knelt on the wet road, his jeans getting damp at the knees.

Tommy finally made eye contact on his own and pressed his lips together, “That was scary.” Steve nodded understandingly. Tommy continued, “This is fucked,” he sat back and forcibly enclosed Steve hand in between his own. Steve distantly heard Dustin yapping to someone on the walkie talkie. “How do you all do it?” he asked exasperatedly. He deflated and shook his head, lost, “How do you do it all? You were amazing back there, didn’t hesitate or flinch.”

Steve smiled and leaned up to give Tommy a kiss to the cheek, “No one is going to be upset with you Tommy. We don’t even have to mention it. The important thing is,” he stepped back, “That we’re all safe and the dogs are done with.”

“But—“

“We won’t hold it against you,” he promised and Tommy closed his mouth slowly. Nodding in agreement a little reluctantly.

Dustin was messing with the dials on the walkie when he left Tommy there, “I’m gonna go clean the mess up, you two get in the car and wait.

Lucas stepped up though, “I’ll help.” Steve gave him a look but he persisted, “Please?”

He rolled his eyes, “I guess you’d be better help than Dustin.”

“Hey!” the other scolded.

Lucas flicked him, “Please, you gag every time the goo gets on you.”

“I wonder why!” Dustin called back as he got into the car with Tommy.

===

It was a few weeks later and Tommy was a little more comfortable in the Party and their occasional missions to take out other dimensional monsters. Tommy was good with the chain when he wasn’t completely petrified. Caught and wrangled multiple dogs out of the way on occasions. Sure he stopped out a few time but they didn’t fight him about it. Knew he knew what he couldn’t handle.

He was teaching Will a thing or two now. They each sat on logs in the Byers’ backyard with ropes in their hands and on their laps. Steve watched as he leaned against the back door doorframe with Joyce. Johnathan had tried to follow along but had quickly knotted his bad. Had encouraged them both instead as Tommy directed Will step by step.

Then, Steve joined them as they worked on tossing and capturing low tree branches. Tommy lassoed them all and Steve got some. But Will grew his skills fast apparently because he was right behind Tommy, grasping all the practicing targets with concentrated ease.

Tommy fist bumped the kid and Steve used his height to pull the rope back down, “Good job, Byers!”

“I was actually good at it,” Will beamed proudly. Tommy slung an arm over Wills shoulders and headed towards the house as Joyce called for dinner.

“You know, you should come take Steve’s place on the farm over the summer.” Will bounced on the souls of his feet a bit at the excitement and giggled when Steve scoffed dramatically.

“I’m just rusty.”

Tommy chuckled, “Come on, Byers One and Byers Two, let’s leave the Rich Boy to clean up.” Will laughed and followed him loyally.

Johnathan stood with a definite nod, “Agreed.” Steve stopped to watch them race to the house like they were all young boys.

Tommy fit in just fine.

#steve harrington #tommy hagan #stommy #stranger things #will byers #jim hopper #johnathan byers #i’ll edit this more later but here! #hope it’s alright. i was unsure on how to end it but i didn’t want to keep you waiting even longer #:) <3

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Basically what happened was that someone put the sarcastic lore Olympus video another anon mentioned in a server im in and when I mentioned that I dont think that Lore Olympus is the best interpretation of H/P in part due to how non-greek the whole story was, the shit started. Excuses ranged from "Greek polytheism isn't exclusive to Greece" to " im not saying you're wrong but I know a lot of Greek polytheists" (I especially got mad at this one) to "it's an American story and the myths naturally reflect what Americans see in each other" to "many colonized places had Greek and Roman fetishized culture thrust upon them" and "American culture is deeply seeped in Greek myth and Greek polytheism is a thriving culture here" (send me the fuckin thesis) and then what really boiled me was their blatant shock at the fact that Zeus could *gasp* love Hera and be good to her. And then claimed they've read all sorts of myths for decades. Gems like "half of the heroes in Greek mythology aren't Hera's kids" like Ares and Hepheastos just don't exist ig. Then blaming me for getting angry and upset for all around being disrespectful to the gods. Thank fuck someone was on my side because I was just so fucking over it. God and all heavens above forbid you tell an American they got their history wrong and they're being disrespectful and hurtful in doing so. The worst part is that I tried to be polite through the whole thing. Tried. I dont know how I was coming off, but God fucking damn it i tried. Fucking hell, claiming that the need to study Greek mythos in your AP Us History class doesn't fucking mean it's baked into your culture. It made me so frustrated and now I can't even fathom talking to the people involved when they so staunchly defended something and claimed to be educated when it's obvious they weren't. I got an apology from a few people which I appreciated, but f u cking hell. Sorry for the long ask.

1) "Greek polytheism isn't exclusive to Greece" - Yeah SO? Does this make LO better? Does it negate the fact the planet knows only inaccurate/whatever Americanized movies about Greek mythology?

2) " im not saying you're wrong but I know a lot of Greek polytheists" SO??? You are allowed to have your own opinion! Plus, Greek polytheists can still be uneducated and follow practices they read in Percy Jackson and are used only to pop culture Americanized versions of how the gods are

3) "it's an American story and the myths naturally reflect what Americans see in each other" Nobody said those stories aren’t allowed to exist! The f-ing point is the Greco-Roman deities are treated like American property!“American story and the myths naturally reflect what Americans see in each other” it’s ALL THAT THE WORLD WATCHES. INCLUDING GREEKS.

Don’t they realize the US is an imperialist country or what? Those stories are everywhere and we are bored. If all you have to show is “Greek gods in US and Canada” x 1000 times and “The Greek gods used to show American social issues”x 1000 times just throw me into a bottomless pit already.

And then they have the nerve to say “but this is representation for you!” No, it isn't if you make Hera into a Karen and Zeus into Bill living in their mansion in Manhattan, showing no hint of my culture (OR Greek American culture) apart from some names and some basic powers! You might as well make them Egyptian gods and the script won’t change.

4) "many colonized places had Greek and Roman fetishized culture thrust upon them" How does that excuse the stupid stuff in LO?? What does a white woman in Australia have to do with how culture was forced to change in colonized cultures??

Why should Greeks see the disrespect of their figures because other countries promoting a *fetishized* image of their ancient culture to other countries they colonized? Why is the US continue to glorify that *fetishized* (as this person said) standard?

Plus, it’s not like Indigenous Americans or Africans from formerly colonized countries consider Zeus part of their culture. Yes, the philosophy of West European nations and certain standards were unfortunately forced upon them but they know the gods are not theirs! (As opposed to many formerly not colonized people in the US)

And if you speak with people from countries on this side of Atlantic which were colonized by France or England you will see they don't deem this mythology theirs! In most of these countries, the citizens merely know the basic stuff about Greek mythology. All they know comes from - you guessed it - American shows about Greek mythology!    

5) "American culture is deeply seeped in Greek myth and Greek polytheism is a thriving culture here" Okay just... what? 😂😂😂😂😂 I swear this fetishized version they accuse colonizers of spreading, they have it themselves and don't recognize it. It’s apparent, as they often see Greek mythology as “a thing of the White man” and want to “subvert” it to send a message. Meanwhile have they thought about how Greeks feel about this? Naaaah fuck dem Greeks. Who cares, it’s not like their culture is Greek any more, right? Who knows what language they speak nowadays these exotic people...

And “Greek polytheism is a thriving culture here”?? North America has hundreds of millions of people. The 500 internet friends you have who are in Greek polytheism is not even a fraction of that. 

“The need to study Greek mythos in your AP Us History class doesn't fucking mean it's baked into your culture.” I agree with your statement. Moreover, guess who fought to keep the heritage alive for thousands of years? Greeks. Copying manuscripts, analyzing ancient philosophy, protecting heritage monuments, songs, religious customs, etc. Do they think Greeks sat on their asses for a blank 2000 yrs??

Final thoughts:

Greek mythology aside, people who claim to know something when they are ignorant and they don’t offer to search for things they don't know, are immature and cause harm to whoever tries to argue with them. It’s good you got an apology from some, I am happy when people want to research something they don't know! 

But that server in general... doesn't seem very inclusive (ironically). And if you weren't a Greek (aka not perceived as oppressed in N. America xD) they would take you more seriously and they wouldn’t say “but I have other Mixed Brazilian friends who don't complain about the cultural misrepresentation!” I find it natural if you don't want to engage with them any more :/ See what is best for you 💙