schizopositivity

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life is beautiful because there's neurodivergent lesbains on the internet

#reminder this blog is run by a neurodivergent lesbian :)

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Hi, sorry for bothering you. Could you explain the "grippy socks" phenomenon thing? I have tried looking it up but the only thing I found were actual socks so I think I'm missing some context.

It's an online term that refers to the type of socks they give you in psychiatric hospitals (with the rubbery bottoms to prevent slipping on the hard floors). This goes over the origin of this as a meme:

But with that has come plenty of sanist memes as the socks are a visual representation of people who have been in psychiatric facilities, and will use "grippy socks" and terms like "crazy" interchangeably. People also try to make it cute sounding by calling a stay at a psych ward a "grippy sock vacation", belittling what the experience is actually like for a lot of people. The meme has also been used to restate the old, misogynistic "joke" that "crazy girls are better at sex" with the new saying "grippy socks, grippy box" (eww). It's also worth noting that a lot of people using this phrase in memes haven't actually been to a psych ward themselves, they use it to describe their mental state like "I'm afraid to be too honest with my therapist, I'm afraid they'll put me in grippy sock jail". Which is a little frustrating as someone who has had psych ward stays, it's weird to see people use it to describe themselves when they haven't actually had to go.

#answered #grippy socks #grippysockvacation #tw sanism #tw misogyny #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #sanism #tw ableism #ableism #mental health awareness

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I have a question

I still don't fully understand what a delusion is and what "double-bookeeping means"

I have not been diagnosed with any neurodivergencies (yet. My doctor said there is a possibility I have ADHD) and I haven't been diagnosed with any mental health problems.

Once when I was young (around 7 years old) I woke up and I started hallucinating that there were these cartoon rats that were trying to launch themselves to the mood. I knew I was awake and that this wasn't a dream so I was confused. At first I thought "silly rats, the window is closed and you will get hit by the glass" and I tried to ignore what the rats were doing by falling back asleep since I assumed it was just my imagination or that I was half asleep. K couldn't fall back asleep because the "rats" were making too much noise. It was making me uncomfortable and scared. After a while of trying to go back to sleep I heard my mom shout at me (at that time I was sleeping in the same room as my mom, her bed was at the other side of the room opposite to mine and her back was facing me) and she was telling me to stop making noise. I was getting even more confused because I wasn't making any noise and I thought the rats were just a part of my imagination, I started panicking. The rats weren't scary looking at all, they weren't making scary noises or doing scary things but I was terrified at what was going on even though I knew it wasn't real and I wasn't scared of punishment because I knew my mom would be to tired to do anything. After a while of trying to control my "imagination" and trying to get the rats to shut up, my mom woke up and she went tp use the washroom without saying a thing to me. The hallucination was fading away and when my mom came back I told her that I didn't make any noise. She was confused, I explained to her that I heard her shout at me to stop making noise. My mom told me she never shouted at me and that she was asleep the whole time. I could barely believe it, I heard her loudly and clearly, I was slightly convinced that my mom was lying about not shouting at me. The next day I was fine and I realized what was real and what wasn't.

Do you know if there are proper terms for what happened to me? I'm not sure if the term "hallucination" is completely correct

To me, this sounds like a hypnagogic hallucination. They are pretty common hallucinations that can affect anyone and happen when someone is falling asleep or waking up. They aren't indicative of any mental illness, they are just a thing that happens to many people. I don't think it's anything to worry about, since it only happened once. Mental illnesses are diagnosed based on frequency, and how much it affects your daily life. And while that experience sounds distressing, it isn't something that has continued to happen. Many people can have hypnagogic or any type of hallucination and not have any sort of psychotic disorder. Hallucinations are just a thing that happens sometimes, it doesn't always mean the experience is disordered.

#answered #hypnagogic hallucination #tw rats

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In case anyone thinks this type of sanism doesn't happen on Tumblr

#tw sanism #tw ableism

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Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizophrenia! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizoaffective disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizoid personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with schizotypal personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with paranoid personality disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian with delusional disorder! Happy lesbian visibility week to every lesbian who has ever experienced psychosis!

I love you all, happy visibility week! 🧡🤍🩷

#lesbian visibility week #schizophrenia #schizoaffetive disorder #schizoid personality disorder #schizotypal personality disorder #paranoid personality disorder #delusional disorder #psychosis

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communicate when you need space rather than leaving them guessing

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The people who have never been restrained in a psych ward, who have never been to one or only been once, and who do not have a psychotic disorder don't engage with these themes in media the same way people with these experiences do. They still view them as taboo and that's why they like it. They think a musician in a strait jacket is "edgy", not depicting something that is often traumatic for the person experiencing it. They love to be scared at a haunted house that is insane asylum themed, where the patients are the villains. And the same thing with psychotic murderers in horror movies.

These are not good examples of representation. These types of media don't actually normalize people like us, it stigmatizes us. If this is all they see of people like us, they will see us as "crazy" and dangerous. I'm trying to question if people who engage with this media actually view people like us as real people. If they can see the humanity in people who publicly can't hide the fact that they are psychotic. If they actually listen to the experiences of people who have been physically restrained in psych wards, and not just seeing people pretend to in media. When people who have the privilege to not experience these things are laughing at our experience, that's just bullying, it doesn't actually help us.

Oh you love that musician that wears a strait jacket in a music video?

Oh you love haunted house attractions that are 'insane asylum' themed?

Oh you love that horror movie where the villain is portrayed to be psychotic?

But do you respect and care for mentally ill people who have been restrained because they were a danger to themselves or others?

But do you respect and care for people who are constantly in and out of psych wards, or have to live full time in psychiatric facilities?

But do you respect and care for people who have psychotic disorders, especially if they are poc and/or homeless?

Do you see us as real people, or do you just like the aesthetic of our suffering for your entertainment?

[schizopositivity]

Oh you love that musician that wears a strait jacket in a music video?

Oh you love haunted house attractions that are 'insane asylum' themed?

Oh you love that horror movie where the villain is portrayed to be psychotic?

But do you respect and care for mentally ill people who have been restrained because they were a danger to themselves or others?

But do you respect and care for people who are constantly in and out of psych wards, or have to live full time in psychiatric facilities?

But do you respect and care for people who have psychotic disorders, especially if they are poc and/or homeless?

Do you see us as real people, or do you just like the aesthetic of our suffering for your entertainment?

#strait jacket #insane asylum #asylum #psych ward #schizophrenia #mental illness #nd #answered #neurodivergent #schizophrenic #psychosis #actuallyschizophrenic #mental health awareness #pseriouslypsychotic #taylor swift #<- cause those fans seem to be in this era of sanism rn

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"grippy socks" is such a fascinating phenomenon because its the result of desiring the validation of being in the most stigmatized group they might believably be able to put in their bios, while simultaneously buying so thoroughly into that very same stigma that they cant bring themselves to say it. they can stomach "grippy socks" and play nice with those whose lives look like their own, but make no mistake, they do not identify with most mentally disabled people, just mentally ill labels. the only patient they had sympathy for in girl interrupted was the protagonist. there is no solidarity. they would call the cops on you

#some people will use the fact that theyve been in a psych ward to justify saying the most sanist shit ever #they think it gives them the right to mock people who are more mentally disabled then themselves #especially the people who spend months or live long term in psychiatric facilities

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when you're younger you make fun of it because it seems boring but one of the best parts of getting older and maturing is recognizing how simply lovely all that cliche shit is. sunsets really are so endlessly satisfying. the hint of lilacs in the breeze really is soft and delicate and sweet. sometimes it feels good just to successfully clean the sink, to find an affordable appliance in the color you've been wanting, to try a new recipe, to finally get through that one television series like how you've been meaning.

it seemed stupid because they tell you - it'll feel quick - but it does feel quick. when i was younger it was like time was molasses. i couldn't get out of there fast enough. all the eras of my life stretched out into taffy. but then you are 29 on a walk with a friend and you both just stop to smell the lily of the valley at your feet. you are both standing there, quiet, enjoying the simple moment of peace.

they say it gets better a lot, which used to have no meaning to me. better for me was undefined and daunting. but here is one way it got better without me trying - a few days ago i was walking my dog and stopped to stand in a sunbeam, turning my cheeks up at the shaft of golden fairylights, the dustmotes in the wood all shivering their little dancing bodies. a stranger stopped and kind of cocked her head and said basking? and i laughed nervously, already moving to get out of her way. instead, she said can i bask with you? and we stood there, full adults, a soundless hum in our chest. when the clouds came back over the sun, we made that awkward small talk - yeah i didn't expect it to be this chilly! and haha spring allergies are comin'.

and you pour yourself a cup of tea and are delighted when you measure the sugar ratio perfectly and you manage to parallel park correctly on the first time (probably because nobody was looking) and yoga really did help your lower back mobility and brown paper packages really do tug on your heartstrings and you love sweaters and furry blankets and watching your little potted plants grow one new and shining leaf and you want to find your younger self and say. yes, i am nostalgic for summers that bent like wheat and were buzzing with low energy and sleep. but darling. adulthood gets better because the time condenses into a prayerbook of your own psalms, these tender beautiful memories. it gets better because things become prettier, gentler, kinder to you - somehow. without you even noticing. you just get to the top of the hill and you realize - oh, this is the thing i've been missing.

#just positivity

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Schizophrenic people aren't evil!

We cannot help who we are. We experience a lot of horrifying things, and sometimes react in ways people don't understand. We don't always have control over our own actions. It isn't our fault.

#happy 3 year anniversary to my first post :') #its not much but it was a start

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If people in general can understand that someone watching a horror movie might jump in their chair, have their heart rate go up, and feel nervous, even though there is no actual threat in the room, then why can't they understand the same is true for people experiencing psychosis?

They are similar, you are seeing something that isn't actually real, you may believe it's real or not, but either way you will react as if it were real because your brain can't help it. The difference is the person in psychosis isn't seeing it through the safety of a screen, isn't prepared for it and can't immediately turn it off if they want to.

So why is it so hard for people to understand why people in psychosis will react like they are actually experiencing something? Anyone would jump back if an elephant suddenly appeared in front of them. Or be very nervous if they hear their name called when they are home alone. So why are people in psychosis expected to not react, or stop reacting when someone tells them it isn't real?

It really shows a lack of sympathy from people who haven't experienced psychosis, for them to expect us to not have reactions. We are expected to somehow suppress our brains natural reactions, simply for other people's comfort. This applies even more to people of color and homeless people. We are expected to fit the status quo, even when our brains are experiencing something as real.

I say all this to say, try to consider the experience of people with psychosis if you haven't. Don't gawk at people reacting to something you don't see. Try not to fear the homeless person talking to someone that isn't actually there. Don't make fun of, or judge people for reacting to something they are experiencing, just because you don't experience it.

#schizophrenia #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #schizophrenic #psychosis #actuallyschizophrenic #mental health awareness #pseriouslypsychotic #hallucinations #delusions #schizophrenia awarness #psychosis awarness

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shoutout to everyone with forget disorders (adhd, DID/osdd, ptsd/c-ptsd, asd, dementia/alzeheimers, schizophrenia, other psychotic disorders, major depressive, chronically ill/phys disabled people with brain fog, people with long-Covid, natural memory degradation, and etc.)

#im not any less caring because i forgot things! #i just cant control it #but taking photos of things i want to remember helps a lot

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Disabled people have to live somewhere poor people have to live somewhere you cant just exclude us from everywhere

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The thing that abled people who advocate for the disabled community don’t get is that there are times when disabilities/accommodations clash. Horribly.

Like I spent years having to come up with a solution to get therapy dogs into a series of residence halls. Why years? Because we had to decide who got to stay and who got to leave: the people who needed therapy dogs or the people with severe allergies to animals. Who got the alternative housing? 

Things like fidget toys might seem great for some disabled people but having them in the room could be distracting/overstimulating for others. The same goes with stimming. It can’t be helped but neither can the anxiety that another person in the room feels as they watch/hear it. Additionally, something like a weighted blanket might immediately calm one kid down and send the other one into a panic attack due to the claustrophobia it causes. (*Points to myself*)

Every Metro bus in New York City has a series of seats at the front that can be lifted up to accommodate people in wheelchairs but if I’m in one of those spots then someone with a cane/walker has to journey even further to sit down.

The flashing lights of a fire alarm are there to help deaf/hearing impaired but if they’re not properly timed, they can also cause a person to have a seizure.

The worst part about all of these is that there is rarely a concrete solution that makes everyone happy/safe. And I’m not here to offer any because I don’t know them. I’m just here to remind you all that as you’re taking your education/health classes, as you’re reading your textbooks, as you’re preparing to go be an advocate, just remember that there is rarely ever such a thing as a one-size-fits-all solution to advocacy and that something you do that can help one disabled person might actually hinder another.

Food for thought.

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#im just genuinely curious #schizo-spec #psychosis #neurodivergent #actuallyschizophrenic #pseriouslypsychotic

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"i support mental health but THAT mental health disorder? i just simply can't" if you ever find yourself saying this just know you're the issue