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loveforpreserumsteve · 5 months

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Love Grows (demon!Bucky and pre-serum!Steve omegaverse au)

AFTER THE FUNERAL and after sharing stories of Abraham, the group parted, each heading to their own homes. Steve dawdled and took the scenic route, not wanting to return back to the tower. Correction: not wanting to return to Hodge. After all, the other spouses had been there. Maria held Carol's hand, giving it squeezes whenever the blonde even so much as sniffled. Sam nuzzled close to Riley, letting the man whisper comforts into his ear as he stroked his soft skin with his calloused thumb. Hell, even Loki's frenemy-with-benefits, Mobius, was there to support them.

And where was Steve's oh-so-wonderful husband? Where was he? Not there. Not caring about anyone but himself. It was on par, sure. But still!

Steve's hands dropped to his small baby bump. How could his little wombmate rely on a father like that? A father who was more concerned about himself than anything or anyone else?

They didn't stand a chance.

"I'll be there," Steve told them, rubbing over his lower abdomen. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. No matter what, I'll be there. Just you and me, if it comes to that."

He moseyed around outside until his nose was red and cold, and only then did he make his way back to Stark Tower. Waving at the lobby attendants, Steve made his way over to the elevator. For a moment, he thought about what it would be like to be stuck in there. Just to prolong reaching the twelfth floor. Even with Archie-or-Rosemary sleeping on his bladder.

Realizing that he'd rather be anywhere else – with anyone else – than with his husband, Steve's mind went to the Big D: Divorce. His hand went up to the crook of his neck where Hodge's mating bite was embedded in his skin, in his scent gland.

They were supposed to be together. Together for forever. That's what that meant.

Or at least what it's supposed to mean.

And now what?

Dropping his hand, Steve shook his head. No, absolutely not. They would not be getting a divorce. They would not be getting unmated. This was for forever. This wasn't the first time that Hodge had been self-absorbed. It wasn't even the first time this year. They'd get through this. They would. Steve would be damned if they didn't.

Finally arriving at his floor, he hesitated. Worrying his lower lip with his teeth, Steve debated if he wanted to say something to Hodge. Of course, he did. But he also didn't. He didn't want to have a fight. He didn't want Hodge to feel like he wasn't doing enough. Hodge was sensitive, even if he liked to pretend that he wasn't. And, really, Steve didn't want his husband to think that he wasn't good enough or something.

Looking out over the courtyard, Steve tried to appreciate how beautiful The Tower really was. Even twelve floors up and even with the trees still bare from winter, it was a sight. Steve sniffled, knowing that he was lucky to call this his home. Without The Tower he wouldn't have this baby. This perfect, perfect baby.

Wiping his eyes, Steve headed down the hallway for his apartment. He didn't want Hodge to know that he was crying, so he aggressively rubbed his cold, raw face. There were a lot of things that Steve wanted to say to his husband, but he wasn't sure how to put any of it into words.

With a deep, heavy sigh, Steve entered the apartment. All he knew was that they couldn't keep going on the way that they were. Not with a baby thrown into the mix.

In the living room, Steve found Hodge still in his boxer briefs, ignoring the TV as he read a script. For a moment, Steve stood there, waiting for Hodge to acknowledge him. When he didn't, Steve picked up the remote and turned the TV off. Which, frustratingly, didn't do anything.

So, Steve let his emotions get the better of him and marched right up to his husband and ripped the thick script right out of his hands. Bewildered, Hodge stared up at Steve as though another head had sprouted from the omega's slender shoulder.

"What the hell, Steve?!"

Tossing the script to the side, Steve angrily scoffed, "That's what I've been asking myself all day! No – every day! All day every day!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"I'm talking about how you've been neglecting me!"

"Neglecting you?" Hodge's brows furrowed together. "What in God's name are you going on about?"

"You're never around," Steve started. Finding the words easier than he thought he would. "When you are, you're absent and busy. Or you're next door with the Sousas."

"God forbid I have a job and am nice to our elderly, lonely, childless neighbors," Hodge threw his arms up, exaggerating the situation. "Maybe you need to find a fucking hobby. Or better yet, a fucking job! Huh? 'Ya ever thought of that?"

"I have a job!" Cruelly, Steve reminded, "Or have you forgotten how our bills had been paid up until now?"

Hodge's eyes narrowed while Steve's widened in surprise at his own words. As if he could shove the words back in, he brought his hands up to his face and covered his mouth. Pissed off, Hodge left the living room. The beta slammed the door to their bedroom only to open a moment later now wearing a pair of fitted jeans and pulling a sweater on over his head.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" Hodge scoffed, heading down the hallway for the closet. Yanking his jacket out of it, he continued, "I've been bending over backwards and breaking my fucking neck to please you, and this is how you act? Un-fucking-believable!"

"I appreciate your –"

"No, you don't. It's not enough apparently, and I'm not sure it ever will be for you. All you want is more, more, and fucking more. All the while bitching about how I'm a bum –"

"I never said that, Gilmore –"

"Fucking Christ, Steve. I did some freaky fucking ritualistic shit to help you have a baby and this is how you repay me?!"

Holding his abdomen, tears built in Steve's vision. Had he been wrong? Did Hodge not want to be a father? But why would he lie? Why would he do this if it wasn't what he wanted too?

"I thought..." Steve paused, the tears falling down his face now, but he couldn't wipe them away. "You said..."

"Yeah, well I say a lot of shit."

And just like that, Hodge had left the apartment.

Left behind, Steve's tears fell faster with even greater frequency. This wasn't the first fight that they had had. This wasn't even the worst fight that they had had. But this one felt different. It hit harder. Made him feel alone.

Perhaps that was why he let the anger take over.

Storming for the bedroom, Steve yanked the closet door open and searched for his duffle bag. The one that he used to use before he and Hodge moved in together. Back when they were young and in love and played house on the weekends.

Now, he was going to use it to leave.

If he could reach it on the top shelf, that was.

The anger building, Steve headed to the linen closet and threw the door open so aggressively that the knob hit the wall with a bang loud enough to sound like a firecracker. He didn't care though. He wanted to leave. No, he needed to leave. He'd be damned if Hodge thought he could leave him and just expect him to be sitting there waiting for him.

No more waiting for Steve Hodge. For Steve Rogers. Nope. No more waiting. No more.

Sure, Steve knew that people sometimes said things to wound when they were angry and fighting, but Hodge had taken it too far this time. It wasn't just Steve anymore that Hodge had to think about. They were bringing an innocent baby into this world. And if Hodge had been lying about wanting to have a baby, he should've been honest from the start.

He was just trying to make you happy, his mind argued.

Well, he should've thought about that before doing this! Steve decided.

Positioning the step-ladder in front of the smaller closet that Steve used, he carefully climbed up until he could reach the strap of the duffle. It was really shoved back there, wasn't it? Giving it a harsh tug that nearly toppled Steve from the ladder, the bag came loose from where it was stuck.

Tossing it onto the bed, he began taking clothes from the rack. Ripping them off the hangers and throwing them onto the bed. Not all of them. He'd have to return with boxes for those. Haltingly, Steve wondered where he would go. His first thought was to go to the Erskines'. No, I can't do that to them right now. His second thought was to go to his parents and paw paw in Arkansas. No, this is home. This city is where I want to raise them.

As he shoved the clothes into the duffle, he decided on the Wilsons. Sam would always be there for him. For them.

Zipping his stuffed bag, Steve slung the strap over his shoulder and headed for the door. Not wanting any nosy neighbors to see how distraught he was, Steve wiped his face; rubbing it nearly raw. Hoping that he looked somewhat presentable, Steve opened the door and paused.

There, standing in front of him, was Peggy. She glanced down at Steve's duffle and concern colored her expression. Asking, "Is everything alright, dear?"

"Fine."

"Are you going on a trip?"

"Not exactly."

Reaching up, Peggy tenderly wiped an escaped tear from Steve's face, "You're just not very good at lying, are you?"

Lower lip quivering, Steve redirected his attention to his feet, not wanting to meet the older omega's eyes. He tried not to let the tears fall, but failed regardless. Peggy cradled his cheek in her slender hand, and that seemed to break the dam. Tears flowed down Steve's face like a waterfall and he let the strap fall from his shoulder.

Affectionately, Peggy pulled Steve into a motherly embrace and tried to soothe him with her neutral scent beneath the floral blocker. She petted the back of his head and softly shushed his cries, reminding him of the way his late maw maw or his mom would.

Hiccupping, Steve claimed, "I can't stay here. I can't. I won't. Not with him. Not when he acts like that."

"You will," Peggy decided for him. "It's bad for baby to be so stressed. And moving is very stressful. If anything, make Hodge leave."

"I can't do that," Steve sniffled, pulling out of Peggy's arms and pushing his hair off his hot, wet face. "It's his uncle's place."

"Arnold would be more than understanding, I think." Peggy assured, "Trust me."

And as strange as it seemed, Steve did.

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iamanartichoke · 3 years

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[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]

Yes, I did just watch episode 2 at 5:30 in the morning.

No, I am not sorry. Not at the moment, although when I inevitably crash later this afternoon, I will be.

Just some very, very quick - and scattered and messy - thoughts: That is a straight up lie; they’re definitely scattered and messy but not very quick at all.

Under the cut for spoilers and length.

I’m going to start with Loki’s characterization. My honest opinion is that Loki’s overall characterization feels like a fic characterization. He definitely is not Avengers Loki, like, at all. I don't know if Tom just, like, forgot how to play that Loki or ...?? That, or Loki was so much more mind-controlled than we realized and getting hulk-smashed just completely reset him back to zero but also fucked him up a little bit and affected his personality, kind of like how some people completely develop weird new personality quirks after a traumatic brain injury.

… yeah, I think that’s where I’m gonna land for now. TV series!Loki feels like a more-or-less canon version of Loki, but if that Loki got hit in the head really hard and now he’s just a little bit fucked up but overall no worse for the wear. Which - it may be that it’s so early in the morning, but that’s actually really fucking funny to me, lmao. God, I kill me. It’s not funny.

No, but, that’s pretty much how I feel. He’s ooc but he’s also ic, and the reason I’m not particularly bothered by the inconsistency, for lack of a better word, is because that’s what pretty much every fic Loki already feels like to me? (Including my own, so I’m not, like, saying that in a derogatory way.) Which is why I say Loki feels like a fic!Loki and to try to explain it better - there is always, for me, a little suspension of disbelief that I employ when I read fic. The reason for that is because the context, the plot, and the dynamics of the fic are usually pretty different than what we ever get in canon, so it becomes a matter of taking film!Loki and, like, bending him a bit in order to fit him into the perimeters of the fic.

The result ends up being that I don’t see the exact Avengers!Loki or TDW!Loki, and thus by definition the portrayal is ooc, but the version that I do see feels like a genuine extension of the canon version, possessing enough of Loki’s overall traits and characteristics that he feels authentic, albeit a bit pretzeled for the new context.

I honestly think that’s something that’s unavoidable, just due to the fact that in fic - and now, in this series - there are a lot more variables at play than there are in the films, wherein Loki is not just a supporting character but also the villain/antagonist and is therefore very limited in what he does/what the narrative allows him to do. When those limitations are taken away, what are we going to see? Probably a lot of different things, and yeah, a lot of them are going to feel a little ooc. And, like in fic, even if the characterization mostly lands, there are definitely bits and pieces (some fics more than others lean this way) where the author didn’t stick the landing or got carried away or otherwise probably forgot for a while that they were writing Loki, not their own OC.

That’s the point where it strays into cringe territory for me (and where the ‘heh, he’s Loki but with a brain injury’ aspect comes in), but while I had to consciously decide to just ignore those moments, overall the tone in this episode felt a bit more balanced between the new, the old, and the cringe, and less whiplash-y from the beginning of the episode to the end.

… I have no idea if that makes sense, but what I’m basically saying is that while I am enjoying this version of Loki, I do recognize all of the ways he’s ooc but, unlike how I feel about Ragnarok!Loki, the ooc-ness feels genuine and unavoidable rather than just a fundamental and careless misunderstanding of the character altogether. In other words, I feel like any ooc-ness here is happening despite the writers taking care to do their best, and isn’t just a result of Loki being lazily written by a person or persons who just doesn’t want to bother with him at all.

Again, I don’t know if that makes sense, but fuck it, there we are and I’m moving on.

I liked all of the little details, including again, things that felt straight out of fic, like Loki asking Mobius why he has the jetski magazine. (Also, if any of my thorki friends read this, was I the only one who noticed that when we see Loki reading the magazine, it just happens to be open to a page with a picture featuring a jet skier who looks like Thor? l.m.a.o.)

Loki interrupting things to explain the difference between illusions vs the other power (I can’t remember which one, off hand, and if I stop writing to go look it up I will lose my train of thought and not finish this) was great, but his overall input and contributions to the missions inspired very mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, I loved that the narrative, via Loki, is reminding us of all these things that he’s capable of that the films generally left out or brushed aside or ignored - but, every time he spoke, he was met with eye rolls and sighs and just a general feeling of “someone please shut this guy up” and I didn’t like the narrative treating him that way.

But also, it’s understandable bc none of the people on his team are actually on his team. None of them want him there (story of Loki’s fucking life), none of them trust him, and none of them are particularly interested in hearing what he has to say. So it’s like, I understand why they reacted the way they did, and I don’t think their reactions are meant to support an overall narrative undermining of Loki’s skills and input - but, the tone is hard to read for me bc I am very defensive and protective of Loki. I can’t quite determine the line between the TVA agents being unreliable narrators (ie, they’re annoyed by Loki bc of who he is to them, but that doesn’t mean the audience is supposed to feel the same) and the TVA agents validating that Loki is just being a nuisance (and, thus, the audience is supposed to feel the same).

That is, I know how I am consuming the narrative (that they’re unreliable narrators), but I’m not sure if that’s how tptb are intending for me to consume the narrative - and I guess it doesn’t really matter, but it’s worth mentioning.

In general, I really liked, again, Loki existing in his own space and watching the way he carried himself. I especially found it interesting that his hands were almost always in his pockets - for one thing it's a stance I tend to imagine him taking often in fic, but also it’s kind of a weird choice bc pockets don’t seem to be a thing in Asgardian clothing. It makes me feel like Loki is the kind of person who never knows what to do with his hands but is always conscious of them, as is common among anxious and self-conscious people, and I just find that relatable on a weird level.

I am really kinda torn on Mobius in this episode; when not interrogating Loki, he’s much less antagonistic toward Loki and therefore I’m more inclined to take-him-or-leave-him but I’ll go ahead and take him I guess. Yet at the same time, bc he’s not interrogating Loki he’s also not trying to put on a show for Loki and when you take that away, he really doesn’t seem to like Loki at all. It supports that Mobius only wants what Loki can do for him and doesn’t actually particularly care about him as a person, which is fine and more or less what I figured, but it contributes to me not really being able to decide how I feel about him in general. Idk, though, I kinda like their dynamic? Like I want them to end up friends?

Regardless, Tom and Owen have amazing chemistry and it’s really funny to me bc (not to be a jerk) I honestly didn’t know Owen Wilson could act. Like, I’ve never seen him in a role where he wasn’t just playing Owen Wilson. So for him to not only be playing Mobius so well but also having such chemistry and a sense of holding-his-own against Tom Hiddleston is like, color me surprised but pleasantly so.

I like B-15 a lot, even though she obviously hates Loki, so idk why I like her but I do. I like Renslayer less, but meh. (Side note - when I was in undergrad in Syracuse, I took the Amtrak from Syracuse to Boston and back more than a few times, for reasons that aren’t relevant, and that route always had a layover at Albany-Rensselaer and every single time I see Renslayer’s name, I want to call her Rensselaer instead.) Shout out to the guest appearance by Casey, sorry Loki stole your juice lmfao.

The moments from the trailer that were very cringe were less so in context (though still kinda cringe, tbh). I think we’ve seen most of the content from the trailers in the first two episodes now, though, which means going forward, it’s going to be like 95% previously unseen material (aside from the brief apocalyptic shots and so forth).

One thing I fucking loved was how Loki, reading about Ragnarok, was visibly affected and even teared up a bit, and you could tell he was in his feels about it, but then later when Mobius expresses sympathy, Loki is just like, “Uh huh, very sad, but anyway.” It was a subtle (well maybe not that subtle) but effective way to remind us that what Loki presents to other people is more often than not a mask and he keeps his true feelings close to the chest. It makes last week’s breakdown have even more of an impact, I think, bc clearly Loki was at the end of his rope to allow himself to show that much raw emotion and vulnerability, but also - for me - there’s a niggling little doubt there that wasn’t there before, in that there was probably more performance in it than I thought.

By which I mean, I think his reaction to the film of his life when he was alone was genuine but, while I previously thought his admission to Mobius later was also genuine, I now think was probably half genuine and half performative. I know others already figured that out, but I’m a little slow and, also, I don’t mind changing my opinion and interpretation from week to week.

Along the same lines, I wasn’t exactly surprised to see that Loki is “undercover” in the TVA, but it was nice to see it acknowledged fairly quickly. Not sure I buy that Loki wants to overthrow and rule the TVA - it’s still a little too “Loki only wants a throne” for me, but again, just because that’s what he told the variant doesn’t mean that’s actually what he’s after.

And, finally, I like the variant, I love Loki’s reaction to seeing her, and while I realize that the show has acknowledged Loki’s gender fluidity and we’re meant to assume that Lady Loki (I guess? Not sure if we’re going with that or not here) is Loki, I saw a theory somewhere about how this is actually not Loki-Loki, but - I wanna say her name Sophie but that’s the actress, again I can’t go look it up bc I will lose my train of thought - but it’s a character who is similar to Amora and who was created by Loki and models herself as Loki but she’s actually someone else.

Ugh I can’t remember the details of the theory, but I am kinda going with it bc I don’t think that Loki would look so - not surprised but just kind of “oh, well, I wasn’t expecting that” if he were seeing the female version of himself. Like, he doesn’t seem to recognize her the way I assume he would recognize himself, male or female. Not only does that make me feel like she’s actually someone else, but also not recognizing her as the female version of himself doesn’t necessarily mean Loki doesn’t recognize her at all. He may very well recognize her as this other Amora-similar character and, if so, I really want to see how that character fits with MCU Loki (as I think she’s a comic book character but, again, I’d have to go back and find that theory).

Edit: I found a version of it here.

Overall score, B-. Mostly solid, but needs moar Loki breakdowns and tears. (That's just me, don't fucking judge me.) Also, I really hate that we have to wait a week between episodes. I wish they were following Netflix’s method of dropping the entire season at once but, then again, if they did that, I’m not sure any of us would survive.

I gotta get ready for work and I deleted and rewrote so much of this and it still seems nonsensical to me, lmfao fml. Anyway feel free to interact/send me asks/whatever, it’s going to be a long fucking day with all of this on my mind. I’ll be working my way through my dash as best as I can.

Oh, also! Loki is so fucking pretty in this episode! The TVA suit is ugly, but he makes it work, and his hair's combed nicely and he looks like he finally got an opportunity to sleep and shower and eat something and, yknow, it's working for him.

#loki tv series spoilers #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki pokey artichokey #also thought it was interesting that as soon as mobius gave him the jacket #loki barely took it off and didn't go anywhere without it #lending even more credence to the fact that he likes to be as covered up as possible at all times

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just-another-blog-of-fluff · 2 years

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Misunderstanding

Word count: 6800

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, angst, mild swearing

Alright, another two-prompter fic here! This combines this prompt from an anon asking for reader and Loki to get in a fight when she leaves without telling him, as well as this prompt where Loki and reader watch a Christmas movie together. I don't do a ton of angst in my fics (since my blog name has 'fluff' in it 😂) but it's nice to slip some in every once in a while for a change of pace. I always promise a fluffy ending 😊

You awoke to your phone buzzing on your nightstand. Drowsily, you opened your eyes and blinked away the blurred remnants of sleep, rolling over and fumbling for your phone. The sun had barely risen, a beam of orange light streaming through the crack in your window shade. Who the hell could be calling at this hour?

The screen showed your friend's name, which was even more surprising. You'd thought she had gone away with a few of your friends already to the Bahamas for a short vacation in the tropics. Maybe she was leaving tomorrow? What would make her call you now?

You tapped the phone screen blindly a few times, finally finding the 'answer call' button.

"... Hello?" you slurred.

"Hey! I'm so sorry, did I wake you up?"

You glanced at your clock on your nightstand, letting out a breathy laugh. "Well, most people aren't awake at five-thirty in the morning when they have the weekend off work. But you've got me up now, what is it?"

"Ok, so I know this is a longshot, and you hate going anywhere without planning three months or more in advance, but... Derek is sick, and he won't be able to make the trip this weekend. Would you be interested in going in his place?"

"Uh..." You were slowly waking up now, heart beating faster at the mere suggestion. You prided yourself on being a planner. Everything had to be in order before you went anywhere, ever. Your friends liked to tease you about it, urging you to try to be a little more spontaneous here and there. But the idea of taking a trip on the drop of a dime made your anxiety flare.

You hated that you felt this way. You'd give anything to be able to be more spontaneous and go places on a moment's notice with your friends. But wishing and doing were two very different things.

Still, you did have the weekend off. If you were ever going to try to do something spur-of-the-moment, this was the perfect time to do so. And your friends had been planning this trip for months - they most certainly would take care of you, wouldn't they?

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Still half asleep," you groaned.

"Well, I kind of need an answer... I'm going to have to call some other people if you can't make it, and I'd much rather it be you."

"Well... you know what? Sure. I'll do it."

Your friend screeched into the phone, and you held it a few inches away from your ear, wincing.

"Ohmygod THANK YOU!! I'm so psyched you're coming!! You should probably go pack your bags - don't forget to bring a couple swimsuits, and a sweatshirt in case it gets chilly at night."

"I was sort of hoping to sleep a little longer... what time does the flight leave tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" There was a beat of silence. "The flight leaves in four hours."

"What??" You nearly dropped your phone on the floor. "I... I didn't realize..."

"Are you still up for it? I totally understand if not, but I really need you to decide ASAP so I can make some calls."

"... Are you going to pick me up on the way to the airport?"

"Say the word and I'll do it."

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Alright. I'll go pack."

"YES!! OK, I'll see you in an hour. BYE!" The end call beep sounded in your ear, leaving you lying there in disbelief that you'd just agreed to this.

In a flurry, you rushed around your room throwing things haphazardly into a suitcase. It was December, and so you had to dig deep in your drawers and closet for your summer clothes. You still took the extra time to count the pairs of underwear you included in your suitcase, making sure you had a couple extra pairs with you as you always did. You rushed into the bathroom, throwing your toothbrush and other toiletries into a bag. A quick glance in the mirror made you cringe - pulling out your brush from the bag you'd just packed it in, you dragged it roughly through your hair to smooth it down at least a little to make yourself semi-presentable to be out in public. Deciding it was good enough, you tossed the brush back in the bag and threw it in your suitcase, just as there was a knock on your apartment door.

The next thing you knew, you were in your friend's car with two other friends of yours on your way to the airport. The sun at least had risen fully in the sky by now, although you sort of wished it hadn't so you could get some sleep, even if it would only be for twenty minutes. You threw the hood of your sweatshirt up over your eyes and leaned your head against the car door, shutting your eyes in an attempt to sleep.

Suddenly, your eyes flew open when you realized you had literally told no one where you were going. You sat bolt upright, pulling out your phone to make some calls, but you were interrupted when the car pulled into the parking garage and your friends jumped out of the car.

"Hurry! We're running later than I thought," your friend urged. Forgetting about calling your other friends and family, you rushed out of the car and grabbed your suitcase, hurrying into the airport to get checked in.

The entire trip through the airport was a stressful one. You and your friends rushed from the bag check counter to the security check lines, making it through in no time before making a beeline for your flight gate. You honestly weren't sure where you'd lost so much time, but you didn't have time to dwell on it, as the flight was already boarding when you reached the gate. The four of you slipped into the back of the line, breathing a sigh of relief as you boarded the plane after everyone else.

It wasn't until the plane took off that you remembered you'd never called anyone to tell them you were leaving. If you'd had the chance, you would have called your best friend, who didn't quite fit into your other circles of friends. You and Loki had struck up an unlikely friendship when you started working for Tony Stark in his lab as a lab assistant. You suspected he only talked to you initially because he was tired of talking to the Avengers all day, every day. To him, you must have been a breath of fresh air, being someone who he hadn't tried to kill or otherwise mess with in the past. Over time, you both discovered you had a lot in common, like your dry, sarcastic sense of humor and your distaste for excessively upbeat personalities. He'd quickly become the person you sought out when you wanted to talk to someone, and he often came to you with woes of his and his brother's arguments.

You felt terribly that you didn't have the chance to tell him you left, but he'd flaked out on you in the past when you made plans, and this couldn't be that different. You knew he'd be there when you came back, and you'd explain it all to him then. In the meantime, you were bound and determined to enjoy yourself on this impromptu vacation.

It was a wonderful, sunny three days in the tropics. You spent hours lounging on the beach, learning how to paddleboard, going off on boat rides, and simply enjoying the sunshine. A part of you was incredibly proud for making the decision to step out of your comfort zone. It hadn't been easy, and it certainly had been a whirlwind of a ride getting here, but it was absolutely worth it in the end.

The four of you took a late flight home on the last day. Your face was slightly sunburnt, and you were exhausted from traveling, but you were content. It was a much smoother process getting home to the airport now that you weren't scrambling to catch a flight. In no time at all, you were falling asleep in the back of your friend's car as she drove you home to your apartment.

By the time you arrived home late that evening, any thoughts of doing anything other than collapsing in your bed had vanished. Leaving your bag completely packed, you crawled under the covers and fell asleep almost immediately. Tomorrow, you’d go visit Loki, you told yourself. He’d probably missed you these last few days, especially since you left so abruptly. But you tried not to overthink it – the whole point of agreeing to this impromptu trip was to escape those anxious thoughts for a while, to prove to yourself you could be spontaneous and carefree if only just once in your life.

The following morning, you awoke to the sunlight blaring through your bedroom window. It was a bit later than you’d hoped to wake up, but you felt refreshed after a good night’s sleep, so you knew it was worth it. You took the time to unpack your suitcase, knowing you’d regret it if you waited and put it off for later. The hot water in the shower felt fantastic against your skin, already feeling the chill from the winter cold after being in the tropical heat the last few days. Maybe you took a few extra minutes to enjoy the steamy bathroom air while you finished getting dressed and ready. Finally, you were on your way over to the Avengers tower to visit your best friend.

When you entered the tower, you greeted the secretary at the front desk and headed past her to the elevator. They knew you well enough by now to know you didn’t need assistance finding your way around. You headed straight up to the lounge, knowing you’d find at least a few of the Avengers hanging out there at this time of the afternoon.

Sure enough, you found Thor, Peter, and Tony hanging out in front of the large TV playing one of Peter’s video games. You didn’t want to interrupt mid-game, especially given how heated the three of them were as they battled one another. Patiently, you stood behind the sofa and observed while they finished the round.

“Ah-ha! You have fallen to the mighty God of Thunder once again!” Thor suddenly whooped, leaping to his feet as Peter and Tony groaned.

“Ugh, that’s the fourth time in a row! Seriously, you’ve got to have this rigged,” Peter griped.

“Aww, you guys are just sore losers,” you interjected. The three of them whipped their heads around in surprise toward the sound of your voice, erupting in a chorus of ‘hellos’ and ‘where have you been’s.’

“Have you seen Loki yet?” Thor asked, a strangely concerned look on his face.

“No, I came over to visit him! Where is he?”

“Oh, er, before you go looking for him, you should know…”

“So, you’ve returned.”

You spun around, hearing the smooth, baritone voice of your closest friend from the doorway. Your face lit up when you saw Loki, grinning as you rushed toward him to wrap him in an embrace.

“Loki! I missed you!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him. He didn’t return your hug, however – his muscles stiffened under your arms, chest rising sharply as he sucked in a breath, bristling under your touch. Releasing him, you stepped back to get a better look at his face. His eyes were dark, the corners of his mouth downturned in a frown, brows heavy in a clear fit of anger. “Loki? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” he barked, laughing humorlessly.

“Alright, alright, shows over kids – let’s get out of here before they blow up the place,” Tony quipped, motioning for Thor and Peter to follow. On his way out, Thor offered you an apologetic look before disappearing through the door, leaving you alone with the seething younger Asgardian.

“Loki, I –”

“Do you realize how I felt when you suddenly vanished without any indication of where you were going?” Loki cut you off, his blue-green eyes boring into yours sharply. “Where in the Nine Realms have you been??”

“My friend called me last minute to go on a trip with them, I didn’t have time to –”

“Oh, so you were off galivanting then? Is that right?” He tutted, an unpleasant smile plastered to his face. “How very wonderful for you.”

“Hey! You don’t own me, Loki! I can do what I want!” you snapped, a fire beginning to blaze in your belly. “If I want to go on a spontaneous trip, I’m allowed to do that. I don’t need your permission!”

“Honestly – you think I wanted you to ask for permission?!” Loki’s voice was increasing in volume now, eyes wild with anger. “A simple phone call would have sufficed! I had no idea where you were all this time! Do you not understand how that made me feel??”

“I didn’t have time! I told you, it was last minute! And anyhow, I don’t need to keep you updated on my whereabouts at all hours of the day, Loki!” you seethed, balling your hands into fists at your sides. “You sound like a controlling boyfriend! It’s not a good look on you.”

He shook his head, giving you a hard glare. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“No. Enlighten me, Loki.” You spat his name as though it were vile, a bitter taste in your mouth.

Loki grabbed hold of your shoulders, squeezing firmly. “You’re friends with the Avengers. The earth’s ‘mightiest heroes,’ enemies to villains all over the Nine Realms. Don’t you think that when you suddenly disappeared out of character that my mind might jump to the worst possible conclusion?? What if you’d been captured, kidnapped, stolen as leverage against us??” You winced as his fingers dug a little too hard into your shoulders, and he noticed immediately, removing his hands from you. “Were you thinking about ANYONE other than yourself??”

Deep down, a part of you realized he was right. You hadn’t considered what your friends might think, that they’d worry about you. But gods, if he wasn’t making you so angry right now, treating you the way he was. You were proud of yourself for taking this spontaneous trip. Yes, it was out of character, but that was the whole point of making this decision.

“You know what? I don’t have to stand here and let you talk to me like this.” You turned on your heel and began storming toward the door, away from the infuriating god. You heard his heavy footsteps following after you.

“So you’re just going to run away from this?? Don’t be a coward,” he roared, his fingers clasping around your elbow. You yanked your arm from his grasp, whirling around with eyes blazing.

“Don’t TOUCH me!” you fumed, pleased to see he actually took a step backward in surprise. “I’m leaving. Don’t follow me. If you must know, I’m going home. Add it to your tracking list of my whereabouts, why don’t you?” With that, you spun around and entered the elevator, slamming the close doors button the moment you stepped inside. As the doors shut, you looked back and saw a dark, pained expression cross Loki’s face. The part of you that was still his friend ached for him, but the furious part of you decided he deserved it.

The moment you arrived home, you went straight to your bedroom and collapsed on your bed, sobbing white hot tears of rage. How could he do this to you? He knew what a huge step this was, how anxious you got about not having every aspect of your life planned out to the finest detail. Loki was supposed to be your best friend, and he was doing a damned shitty job of it.

How could he shout at you like that? How could he not see how it hurt you? He had no right to scold you like a child the way he did. How dare he act as if he was in control of all your life decisions?

Your anger began to fade as the tears streamed down your face. It disintegrated into more of a dark, helpless sadness. You’d never had a fight quite like that with Loki. Sure, you squabbled and bantered as all friends do, but never once had he hollered at you with the intent to make you hurt. You supposed you had done the same thing to him. What was going to happen to your friendship now? Could he ever forgive you? Could you forgive him?

The idea of losing your friendship with Loki stung more than any of his words. The pair of you hadn’t been friends for more than a year, and yet he was such a constant in your life. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly – you had a few close friends, and that was about the extent of your support system. Loki, by far, was the first person you thought of when you needed to vent about something, or when something exciting happened and you were bursting at the seams to share it with someone. He had this brutal, sarcastic honesty about him that kept you grounded, and yet there was a secret, kind side to him he typically kept hidden. But not from you. He went out of his way to pay you a visit, or invite you to stroll the city with him, exactly at the time you most needed a friend. Either he cared deeply about you, or he simply didn’t want to lose the person who had become his sounding board to rant about his brother and his friends. You liked to think it was the former.

You couldn’t go back there today to talk to him. The fear of what he might say held you hostage here in your apartment, scared he might continue to berate you and chastise you. Instead, you spent most of the afternoon curled up on your bed, scrolling through your phone or otherwise trying to take a nap to forget about all this for just a little while.

By the time you’d managed to convince yourself to leave the sanctuary of your room, the sun had already set. The rest of your apartment was pitch black outside of your room. You didn’t necessarily mind it. It suited your mood fairly well, in fact – the heavy, occlusive blackness felt like a reflection of the intense aching in your chest and throat. Still, you couldn’t see very well in the dark, so you flipped on the light in your living room in the name of self-preservation. While you were at it, you plugged in the lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. Maybe a little festive light would brighten your spirits.

You didn’t feel much like cooking, so you grabbed a frozen meal out of the freezer and popped it in the microwave. These things always stayed a little cold in the middle, but you didn’t care. You were only eating because you knew you needed to anyway.

As you cleaned up your disappointing meal, you were startled by a knock on your door. Grumbling about how late in the evening it was to entertain visitors, especially if it was a salesperson, you shuffled over to the door and cracked it open to peek outside.

“Loki.” You pulled the door open the rest of the way to reveal your dark-haired trickster friend standing in the hallway. He seemed smaller than his usual, regal self – more slouchy, even sheepish-looking perhaps. It was hard to determine if you felt relieved or overwhelmed, or maybe even a renewed bout of anger. Rather than try to work through your own emotions while you stood there at the door, you raised your eyebrows and tilted your head to urge him to speak.

“Might I come in?” he asked. His voice had lost the bite it had earlier when he’d reprimanded you. That, at least, was comforting.

“Why should I?” you shot back flatly, folding your arms across your chest. He responded by pulling his arm out from behind his back, a movie (that he’d clearly borrowed from Tony) held in his hand.

“I thought perhaps we could watch a Christmas movie. I know you enjoy them.”

You narrowed your eyes, reading the box. “That’s A Muppet Family Christmas. You hate that movie.”

“Yes, but I know it’s your favorite.” Loki looked so hopeful as he gazed at you. And the sentiment behind what he was offering meant more than one would think – he never allowed you to pick the movie when you gathered for a movie night unless he approved it first. You couldn’t hide the tiny smile pulling at the corner of your mouth, your arms loosening a bit.

“Fine. I’ll make hot chocolate.” You waved him inside, turning your back to him to busy yourself in the kitchen. Opening the fridge, you pulled out the bottle of milk (because everyone knew hot chocolate made with milk was so much better than water) and grabbed the hot chocolate mix from the cupboard. Loki took a seat on the stool at the kitchen island, watching in silence as you prepared two mugs and popped them in the microwave. While the mugs heated, you turned around to face your companion, leaning back against the countertop as you tried to come up with something to say.

“I’m sorry.”

You didn’t have to, apparently.

“What?” you asked, startled by his abrupt apology.

“I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I was angry, hurt, confused… I took all of that out on you in the moment. So, I apologize.”

You sighed, approaching the opposite side of the kitchen island, and leaning your elbows on it. “I’m sorry too. I hadn’t realized what my leaving for a few days without saying anything would do to you. I wanted to call, but it was so short notice, and there was no cell phone service when we landed, and –”

“Please. It’s alright. I forgive you.” He reached across the counter to grasp your hand in his. “I was terrified something might have happened to you. You never go traveling on a whim.”

“I know, that’s the point.” The microwave beeped, and Loki released your hand so you could attend to the hot chocolate. After a quick stir, you put them back in for a bit longer, returning to the island. “I never do anything spontaneous. And the opportunity came up, and I just… I wanted so badly to just be that spontaneous, carefree person everyone else seems to be. To ignore the worries of going on a trip completely unplanned.”

“I understand.” Loki offered you a weak smile. “And I am proud of you for it. I know how hard it must have been.”

“Thanks.” You returned his small smile, leaning on the countertop once again.

“I want you to know – I don’t need to know where you are at every moment of every day. But, please, if you do go away for a few days on short notice, please tell me? I couldn’t bear the thought that I may have lost you, that it could have been my fault something happened to you…”

“Shh, Loki, it’s alright. I promise, ok?” It was your turn to take his hand in yours. “I wasn’t even thinking about that sort of thing. It was naïve of me. I’m sorry.”

The microwave beeped once again, and you retrieved the two steaming ceramic mugs from inside, handing one carefully to your companion. You’d been the one to introduce him to hot chocolate. Admittedly, he’d been skeptical that drinking chocolate would be a pleasant treat, but when you’d finally convinced him to try a sip, he’d been hooked ever since. You held your mug up, tapping the side against his mug.

“To a cozy night in with my best friend?”

Loki shook his head with a grin. “You know, you’ve truly made me go soft, mortal. I shouldn’t allow you to get in my head like this.”

“Oh, you love cozy nights in like this and you know it.” Stepping around the kitchen island, you motioned for him to follow you to the living room. “So, are you still going to watch the movie with me? Or was that just a ploy to help you apologize?”

“I beg your pardon – I am a man of my word. I came to watch this movie with you, however ridiculous it may be, and I intend to do just that.”

You snorted. “A man of your word? You’re literally the God of Lies.”

“Yes, but I am not the God of Broken Promises.” Taking his mug with him, he followed you to the living room. He moved toward the television to pop in the movie, but you stopped him.

“Wait! Hang on – I’m gonna get some blankets, it’s cold,” you insisted.

“You realize that you have control of your heat, I hope,” he teased.

“Yes, and I also have to pay for my heat. Besides – it’s more fun to keep the house a little chilly and snuggle up under a blanket than to just keep it at a normal temperature.” You heard Loki chuckling and calling you ridiculous as you disappeared into your bedroom, pulling out your oversized fleece blanket and dragging it out to the living room. Loki had already sat himself down on one end of the sofa, the movie set on pause while he waited for you to return. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, you threw the blanket over the both of you, turning yourself sideways to rest your feet on the couch cushions with a slight bend in your knees so as not to accost Loki with your cold feet.

“I’ll have you know – I will not watch this movie willingly again. Consider yourself fortunate,” Loki drawled.

“Oh, yay me,” you responded sarcastically. “Alright, enough whining. Unpause the movie.”

Muttering under his breath about ‘ungrateful mortals,’ he did as you asked, starting the film as you settled deeper into the couch cushions. He cringed the moment the opening song began on the screen, and you bit the inside of your cheek in an effort not to laugh. Loki could be so dramatic sometimes. Although, you supposed you wouldn’t be such close friends if he weren’t a little extra every so often.

Sitting here, tucked under a blanket by the glow of the Christmas tree and a nostalgic Christmas movie playing on your television, drinking hot chocolate, you wondered if it could get any better. Most importantly, you were no longer fighting with Loki. Your heart was tearing to pieces when you were angry with one another. This sort of quiet evening together with your best friend was exactly what you needed to get past the hurt and emotional turmoil of the day.

A little ways into the movie, you felt the urge to adjust yourself to get more comfortable. In the process of shifting, you accidentally tapped Loki’s leg with your foot. His head swiveled to look at you in shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to kick you.”

“Your feet are freezing,” he stated.

“Uh… yeah. They’re kind of always cold in the winter.”

He glared at you contemptuously. “Perhaps they wouldn’t be if you kept your heat at a temperature suitable for mortals.”

“Hey! If you want to pay my heating bill, then be my guest. Until then, I’m keeping it at the temperature I want.” For good measure, you stretched your legs out further to rest your feet against his leg.

“Aren't you wearing socks, and lying under a blanket? Gods, how are your feet still this cold?” He grabbed hold of your feet, scooting over a bit to rest them in his lap as you whined and protested.

“Wha- HEY! Loki! My feet are gross, don’t put them in your lap.”

“Your feet are just fine. Excluding the fact that they’re like ice.” He wrapped both hands around one of your feet, rubbing his palms firmly up and down both sides to create heat through friction. Your protests died at your lips, letting out a little involuntary sigh of content. Loki glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, a smirk forming on his lips. “Not complaining now, are you?”

“Mm… just keep doing that,” you breathed, sinking into the sofa. With a throaty, rumbling laugh, he switched to warm your other foot, looking positively charmed at your blissful expression. You returned your attention to the movie, eyelids beginning to feel heavy when he began kneading his fingers into your soles once he was satisfied with the temperature of your feet.

At some point, Loki began to become distracted by the movie, his touch losing some of its weight. It didn’t bother you much at first, but when he started sliding his thumb gently up and down the arch of your foot, you had to bite your tongue to keep from giggling. No way were you letting your mischievous friend find out you were ticklish. He’d never let you live it down.

You were in a predicament now. If you acted too quickly and jerked your feet away, he’d definitely figure it out. But if you didn’t move soon, you were positive you were going to break out into hysterical giggles. Maybe you could come up with some excuse that you had to get up. Did he want more hot chocolate? Could you feign needing to go to the bathroom?

Your thoughts were interrupted when his thumb flitted over the ball of your foot, and you couldn’t prevent a small twitch of your leg. Please don’t notice, please don’t notice, please don’t…

“Alright there, darling?”

… notice.

“Hmm? I’m fine, why do you ask?”

He eyed you suspiciously, as though trying to evaluate your expression. “No reason.” Loki turned back to the television, and you did the same, sighing happily as he pressed his fingertips more firmly into your other foot.

Gradually, the pressure in his fingers lightened again until he was simply ghosting his fingertips across the arch of your foot. You shifted to try to hide the desperate urge to twitch and jolt away from his touch, trying to play it off as getting more comfortable while trying to pull your feet back closer to your body. Loki had other ideas – grabbing hold of one of your ankles to prevent you from retracting it.

“Going somewhere?”

Shit. You knew that tone.

“L-Loki…” you warned, tugging at your ankle. He tightened his grasp, impishly fluttering his fingers along your sole. “HEHEY!”

“You seem to be hiding something. I thought we agreed, no more secrets.” His tone was firm, as though scolding you, but his eyes were alight with mischief. He knew what he was doing. He just wanted to make you admit it.

“N-no, we agree-HEED no m-more long trips with-OHOUT telling you first,” you corrected, gritting your teeth to try to suppress the giggles that kept spilling out as his fingertips grazed agonizingly slowly over the arch of your trapped foot.

“Are you admitting you’re hiding something, then?”

“That’s not what I-HI-ha… ahem… nohot what I said,” you coughed, trying to cover up the laugh that burst from your chest when his tickling fingers found the spot where your arch became the upper part of your foot. A wicked grin evolved on his face, and he began to scratch at the spot in a targeted attack. You sucked in a breath, turning your head toward the television so you wouldn’t have to look at his maddeningly smug face.

“There’s no reason to continue to deny it, darling. I’ve obviously already discovered you’re ticklish.”

You whipped your head around back toward your trickster friend to protest, but he suddenly shifted to grab hold of your foot with both hands, scratching eight fingers into your sole. This broke you, a bubbling stream of giggles bursting through your mouth. The way his smug smirk broadened set butterflies in your stomach.

“O-ho-kahay! I admit ihit! Are you h-HAH-happy?”

“Oh, quite happy, actually. I’ve just discovered a way for you to make it up to me after running off and making me worry.”

“Wahait! That’s not fa-HAIR – LOKI!” You kicked at him with your free foot, successfully freeing your other one but at the cost of your mischievous friend capturing the previously neglected foot.

“Ah. Asking for me to tickle this one?” he hummed.

“Noho, that wasn’t – NOHO!!” Somehow, this foot was worse than the other; he had the same grip on you as before, but every sweep of his fingers across your sole made your leg jolt as you squeaked in protest. He seemed to recognize this, beginning to laugh along with you.

“You mortals are peculiar creatures. I didn’t realize it was possible to be weaker on one side.”

“SHUT UHUP YOHOU!” you demanded. Loki tutted, shifting to hold your ankle in one hand while worming his way into the space beneath your toes through the fabric of your sock. “AHAH – OH HELL NOHO!!” You sat up, reaching for his hands to prevent him from getting at the hypersensitive spot while you curled your toes as much as possible.

“Hmm.” He grunted as you successfully forced him to move his tickling fingers, then suddenly reached over to claw into your belly. With a startled bark of a laugh, you flopped backward against the sofa to evade him, providing him the opportunity to loop his elbow around your ankle and pull your toes back with one hand while working his way into the previously protected space with the other.

“LOHOKIHIHI YOHOU A-HASS!!” Your abdominal muscles were too weak to sit up and fight him off, so you opted to continue yanking on your foot while he continued to prey on your resolve. At last, he relented, releasing your foot with a chuckle. You scrambled to retract your legs close to your body, hugging your knees to your chest as you stuck your tongue out flippantly at your companion.

“I’m quite surprised it took this long for me to learn of this,” Loki remarked. “You seem to be more ticklish than the average mortal.”

“Am not,” you muttered grumpily. Although, it was difficult to even pretend you were truly annoyed. This little bout of playfulness was a nice distraction from all the fighting you’d done earlier. And you did trust Loki. You knew he would never take things too far if you genuinely got upset with him for it.

“I’m not sure you can debate that point, dear. I’ve known countless mortals in my many years of existence, and arguably, you are indeed more ticklish than any of them.”

“Ah, so you make it a habit to go around tickling people? You know, some might find that to be kind of creepy,” you jested, smirking. He narrowed his eyes mischievously.

“Certainly not strangers, dear. I’ve had my fair share of Midgardian relationships, both friends and lovers.”

“Ew.” You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of that thought. “Now that’s an image I don’t need in my head.”

Loki sat up straighter, giving you a warning look. “What image, pray tell?”

“You with your many Midgardian lovers. How many of those have you had? Wait… actually, don’t tell me.”

“I’ll have you know that I have very high standards,” he retorted. “Most Midgardians don’t live up to them. So, to ease your mind, only a few.”

“Hmm. I’m surprised the Midgardians you took interest in were interested in you in return,” you teased. “Did they know what they were getting themselves into? Dating the God of Mischief?”

“What are you insinuating?”

“Well, you and your mischievous ways… you can get on people’s nerves, you know.” You shot him a teasing wink to let him know you were joking. It didn’t seem to make a difference – you’d already sealed your fate.

“Oh, really?” Loki suddenly lunged across the sofa, wrapping his arms around your waist and dragging you back against his chest. “Let’s see how annoying I can be then, hmm?”

“L-Loki, wait a minute – NOHO!!” His fingertips dug into your ribs, and you exploded with desperate laughter. A laugh rumbled in his chest against your back, clearly amused by how easily he’d driven you to hysterics.

“Is this annoying enough for you, darling?” He discovered a spot closer to your back where you began to squirm harder to fight for your escape, only resulting in his scratching deeper and faster into the spot. The damned god was ruthlessly precise in his attack, too perceptive for his own good. You curled your knees up to your chest, as though that might stop him, but he was just unrelenting as he exploited that wretched spot.

“L-LO-HO-KI ANYWHERE EHELSE GOHOHOD!!” you begged frantically.

“Hmm, but I quite like this spot, actually.” He lightened his touch, grazing his fingertips rapidly but gently along the backs of your ribs. Your legs kicked out helplessly, heels beating into the sofa cushion to distract yourself from the horrifically ticklish sensation. Just as you thought you might be able to block some of it out after growing used to it, his hands darted up under your arms, eight fingers clawing into the softest part of your armpits.

“AAGH!! LOHOKI YOU’RE A PEST!!” you hollered through your laughter.

“Oh, I don’t think so. This is being a pest.” His thumbs dug into your collarbones, a spot where you didn’t even know you were ticklish, but gods was it bad. Laughing evilly in your ear, he continued his assault under your arms while kneading circles into the muscles right below your collarbones. You threw your head back against his shoulder, dissolving into near-silent, breathy laughter. Recognizing you’d had enough, he finally showed you some mercy, releasing his hold on you.

You leaned heavily into his chest for a moment, hiccupping as you caught your breath. When you finally started regaining some strength in your core muscles, you sat up and smoothed your hair down, turning to glare playfully at the mischievous god.

“I missed half the movie,” you grumbled. “Now we have to rewind it.”

Loki sighed defeatedly. “I suppose I owe you that much.” He handed you the TV remote so you could back the film up to the last part you recalled paying attention to. You scooted back over to your side of the sofa, rotating to place your feet on the cushions, but not anywhere near your trickster friend. He chuckled warmly at you. “I promise you, I’m done tormenting you tonight.”

“You say that as though you’re going to do it again another day.”

“Oh, darling, that goes without saying,” he confirmed, smirking as your face warmed. “But I’ve already sat through nearly the entire movie once and had to restart midway through. Believe me, I’m not making that mistake again.”

You let out a huff of a breath through your nose, turning to watch the television. Suddenly, you yelped as you felt a cool hand wrap around your ankle, pulling it back toward Loki’s side.

“HEY! You promised!” you disputed, tugging on your leg. He held fast, resting your foot in his lap.

“Relax, darling. I did promise.” He got to work kneading his fingers firmly into your sole, and you melted reluctantly under his kind touch.

“Well… alright. I’ll allow it. But the moment you tickle me again, I’m going to sit on the chair over there,” you warned, a smile forcing its way onto your face.

“Understood. Now, watch your movie. I won’t rewind it again.”

He kept his promise, working out the tension in your feet until you’d nearly fallen asleep on the sofa. You missed the last twenty minutes of the film in your half-asleep stupor, but you didn’t mind. You’d seen the movie a hundred times before.

A distant part of your mind remembered Loki scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to your room, setting you carefully down in your bed and pulling the covers up to your shoulders. You stirred long enough to turn on your side and look at him, a sleepy smirk crossing your face.

“You gonna give me a kiss goodnight?” you slurred teasingly. A deep laugh rolled in his chest.

“What would I do without a cheeky friend like you?”

“Mm… your life would be a hell of a lot more boring.”

“That it would.” He flicked off the light at your bedside, bidding you goodnight as he left your apartment to head home. Sleep came easily for you that night, knowing that Loki would protect you with his life. You’d never take that for granted again.

#ticklish!reader #tickle fluff #loki tickle #tickle fic #marvel tickle #loki x gender neutral reader #loki x reader #loki x you #best friend Loki

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paradox-psyc-hoe-sis · 4 years

Text

Overreaction

Loki x reader, Bruce x reader ,(platonic), avengers x reader (platonic).

Word count: 4.9 k

A/n: Heyo! I didn't actually mean for this to be as long as it was, but it turned out to be quite pleasing. Writers block is a bitch so it's taken me a while to write, but I hope I didn't disappoint! Requested by @marvelloonie, thank you for the request! - Aphrodite

Summary: you and Loki have been secretly meeting without the avengers knowing, and when you realise you've fallen in love, you decide it's time to tell the group. After trying to keep you, the groups little ray of sunshine, away from the mysterious asgardian for a while, the group are shocked to find out that you've been seeing each other.

Warninngs: angst, fluff, that's all! Enjoy x

For your entire life, you were always the 'innocent' one. Sure, you were optimised and generally a happy person, but people seem to take advantage of that a lot. That never dampened your mood, though; you always stayed the same happy-go-lucky little burst of sunlight through childhood to adulthood. That's also the reason that upon meeting new people, they never expect your job to be an avenger. Your work never really phased you; most of the people who you killed deserved it, but every now and again there was an odd time where you felt a slight hint of guilt.

Among the avengers, you were known as the little ray of sunshine, too. Pretty much all of the avengers had dark pasts, but not you. You lived a normal life, excelled at school, went to college, and got a normal job. S.H.I.E.L.D discovered you after you got into an accident and were struck by lightning: after you recovered, you found out that you could control lightning. You quickly joined the avengers, and got on very well with everyone. You knew all of the avengers, and were aware of all possible threats, enemies, blah blah, except one. Thor's brother, Loki, had committed several offences in the past, but redeemed himself by helping the team every now and again. You had never met Loki, but the Avengers made it clear that they wanted to keep it that way.

"Hey Steve!" You walked into the common area after a few hours training in the gym. Steve was in the kitchen, passing him as you got a bottle of water, and you looked over to see Natasha, Sam, Bucky and Thor on the sofas. "Good morning guys, how are you all?" You grinned at them as you walked over to sit next to Nat, a slight spring in your step.

"Why are you always so happy?" Bucky grunted as you sat unbeaten him and Nat. Sam gave Bucky a frown, and turned to you. "Don't mind him, he just found out that his favourite TV show has been cancelled."

"Aww, Heroes of Bruin!?" Bucky gave you a small nod, his arms crossed tightly around his chest. You placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry, Buck. I'm sure you'll find a better series soon! You can always borrow one of my box sets, you know where they are!" Bucky thanked you, and you sat back on the sofa, taking long gulps of your water.

"Seriously though, y/n. What keeps you so positive?" Steve asked, leaning on the kitchen counter. You shrugged, taking one last sip of your water.

"I don't really know, to be honest. I have a roof over my head, a good job, food, clean water, and friends and family who love me!" You stood up, walking over to the kitchen island and sitting opposite Steve. "Besides, what's there to be miserable about? Yeah, work does get hard sometimes, and life isn't easy, but that's just more drive to stay positive. It's not going to get me anywhere by being grumpy and mean like a certain tin man in this building!" You both laughed, thanking God that Tony wasn't in the room to hear what you just said. From the sofa, you heard Nat starting to talk to Bucky and Sam.

"...but there's nothing else we can do about it other than get in contact with some of our aliases and-"

"What's going on?"

Cutting in, you stood up from the island and walked over to the sofa.

Nat turned to look at you while Sam and Bucky continued to read from the iPad she held.

"There was a break in at a Hydra base a few days ago. The person who broke in stole Hydra's files about us, and some files about them. My best guess is that it's somebody who's against Hydra but also against us." Nat took a long deep breath, and turned back to her iPad, still talking to you. "We need to get in contact with non-avengers who have fought with us in the past, see if they have any idea. Steve and I are going to S.H.I.E.L.D. tomorrow, Thor will be returning to Asgard to talk with Loki, I don't know what else we can do."

You perked up at the mention of Loki, and suddenly came up with an idea. "How about I go with Thor? I've always wanted to see Asgard, and it's better than just having one person go." You saw Nat look up and glare at Steve, who did the same, before they both turned to you. Steve sighed, and looked away; clearly, there was something on both of their minds.

"That's a good idea about somebody going, it's better to be safe than sorry. What about Clint? D'you think he'd want to go?" Steve was looking at Natasha when he asked, and you felt a but left out. Instead of becoming angry, you just smiled and turned to face Steve. "What about me?" You asked, still smiling widely.

"Uh, y/n? I don't really think you should go..." Natasha remarked next to you, and you ever so slightly frowned.

"What do you mean?" You kept your voice gentle and upbeat, thinking of reasons why it would be perfect to go.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but there's some bad people on Asgard. We know you could handle it, but people like Loki are...dangerous, and I for one don't think it's in your best interest to make friends with people like him." You could tell by her tone that she felt guilty, but that didn't stop her from speaking her mind anyway. You didn't really understand what she meant; you're around dangerous people all the time, you can easily handle another one.

"If you don't think it's a good idea for me to go, then why is Clint an option?" Like magic, clint walked in at the exact second you said that. Looking up at him, you carried on speaking. "We have the same skill level at fighting, anyway! Besides, I have superpowers too, I can easily protect myself and Thor if need be."

Clint looked at you and Natasha, a puzzle expression plastered on his face. Nat gave him the run down, and he seemed slightly underwhelmed.

"There's no reason why y/n shouldn't be able to go to Asgard."

"Yes, but she's going to asgard to get in contact with Loki." Natasha's expression looked stern, her eyes piercing through Clint's.

"...oh."

"C'mon guys, what're you hiding? I'm sure I can take it, what's the harm in me going to Asgard?" Despite being slightly irritated, you still smiled and laughed a bit at the end of your sentence, making sure the rest of the group knew you were still just as happy as you were after returning from they gym, 10 minutes ago. Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bucky and Sam all gave each other quick glances before Bucky groaned and sat up.

"Listen, y/n. The reason why none of us want you to go to Asgard is because we want you to stay away from Loki. Although he's fought along side us in the past, he's a terrible person. And you're so...so happy and innocent all the time, we don't want him to..."

"You don't want him to corrupt me." You finished off Bucky's sentence, speaking quieter, thinning to yourself. There was suddenly a sort of dark cloud above the room, and an awkward silence prolonged for at least 20 seconds. You could sense how guilty everyone felt, but instead of exploding, you burst into a fit of giggles.

Everyone frowned as they watched you almost fall off the sofa in laughter. Once you calmed down, you wiped your eyes, and almost bust out laughing again at the confused faces of everyone around you. You sat back, smiling ear to ear. "Why would you think something like that?" You asked the room, taking a sip of water. "Honestly guys, I've been with you bunch of Serious Sally's for almost a year. I think it's safe to say that no matter who I spend my time with, I'll never stop being the 'happy and innocent' person who I am. Besides, we're only going to be on Asgard for a day at most, what could go wrong?"

—————

The next day, you were on Asgard. You were so thankful that Nat had finally let you go with Thor, and now you were stood outside of a tall golden palace, behind a beautiful view of Greek-style hills and mountains. You were speechless, to say the least.

"Brother Loki should be here any minute..." said thor, looking over at a clock tower. You couldn't make out what time it was - the numbers were Asgardian - but it was about 12 before you left. Before you could think anything else of it, something appeared before you two. It was Loki.

"Nice to see you again, brother!" Thor exclaimed as he went in for a hug. Loki barely hugged him back, and pulled away, turning to face you.

"Well well well, who's this who you've brought along with you?" Loki asked Thor, yet stared at you with a slight smirk. "Loki, this is y/n. She's a friend from work." Loki took your hand and bowed down slightly, and placed a kiss on the back of your hand; a kiss which you couldn't describe as chaste, making eye contact with him the entire time. He rose and let go of your hand, fingertips brushing slightly. "Pleased to make you acquaintance, Lady y/n." You were tongue tied, but before you could even begin to formulate words, Thor started talking. He rambled on about why you were here, and if he knew anything about the break in, but you weren't listening to a single word. Instead, you never took your eyes off Loki.

His shoulders were broad, sleek black hair running just past them. He stood with confidence, taller than Thor but thinner. Despite this, you could still see defined muscles from underneath the Asgardian clothes he wore. His eyes were a cold shade of blue, resembling ice. While Thor was still talking, he looked over at you, catching you staring at him. You maintained eye contact, your cheeks turning a childish shade of pink, and he winked at you before turning back to concentrate on his brother. The corners if his lips were slightly upturned, and a few strands of hair fell into his face as he nodded along to whatever Thor was saying.

"Well, I haven't heard any news, I'm sorry I can't be of any help. Do you both want to get lunch?" You turned to Thor, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, brother, but I must go and talk to the others and see if they've heard anything. But, it won't hurt if you and y/n get something to eat?" You and Loki both turned to face each other, and you smiled wider than ever.

"I'd love to."

You and Loki walked in silence to the dining hall, passing many Asgardian maidens on your way. You felt slightly underdressed; all asgardian women wore long flowing gowns, whereas you were dressed in high waisted denim shorts and a red turtleneck. Once you arrived at the dining room, you were confronted with a grand gold table topped with all kinds of food. Cheese, grapes, wine, and some sort of Asgardian meat that you couldn't recognize. It felt magical, yet you felt out of place. As you furthered towards the table, Loki took out a chair for you to sit down in. Thanking him, you sat, and his fingertips brushed against your clothed shoulders. Butterflies swarmed in the pit of your stomach, and you quietly giggled at yourself for becoming so flustered. Once Loki was seated, you asked him a question.

"So, Loki," you began, looking around at the feast laid out for you, "what do you get up to on Asgard?" As you spoke, he poured crimson wine into a goblet, and you felt obliged to do the same.

"Surprisingly, not much." He spoke with, what resembled, an English accent. Every consonant was sharp, every vowel curved on his lips. "Every now and again we have to meet with people from other worlds, like you. Thor doesn't come and visit very often, so the mass amount of paperwork that has to be done is left to me." He rolled his eyes yet bore a smile, to which you laughed.

"Trust me, I know what it feels like. Ever since Tony and Steve got into that disagreement about where the files should be stored, I've been in charge of all paperwork. I don't mind it though, there's some sort of satisfaction in the orderliness of it all..." you looked up at him and grinned, being able to physically feel the awkwardness between you both. Although, he could look at your smile forever; the way your y/e/c shone in the light, dimples in you cheeks becoming more pronounced by the second, your lips curling ever so slightly inwards as a sigh escaped from them.

"I'm sorry, I've never really been one for small talk. Asgard seems wonderful, though. The landscape is impeccable, and everyone just seems so...perfect, I guess!" Speaking quieter, you leaned in the get closer to Loki, sat opposite you. "I feel like I could spend the rest of my life here." He knew you meant it, being able to feel the pure excitement you radiated. Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you sat back and pointed towards one of the golden dishes beside you, holding some fruits and vegetables.

"May I?"

"Of course, go ahead."

As you spooned a kind of salad onto your plate, Loki rubbed his stubble dotted chin. Loading your fork and taking a bite, you felt a wave of peace flow over your body. You had no idea what you were eating, but it was damn good.

"What part of midgard are you from, y/n?"

"Midgard?" You spoke through your mouthful of salad and swallowed. "Oh, right, Earth. I'm from Brooklyn, New York, but I live in Manhattan." You took a sip of wine, cringing at it's strength. Noticing this, Loki let out a laugh.

"Asgardian alcohol isn't for the weak, I'd take it easy if I were you..." you knee he was joking at the last part, so you laughed with him. The moment was sweet, but you can always have too much of a good thing. After Loki filled his plate, and you took a few more mouthfuls of salad, Thor strode in looking pleased with himself.

"Hey Thor, what's up?" Thor sat down at the table and picked up a bunch of grapes, popping one into his mouth.

"I just checked the comms," he swallowed, "Nat and Steve have all the information we need from S.H.I.E.L.D., so we can go back to midg- uh, Earth, sorry. Ready to go?" You looked at Loki who gave you a small nod as he put his cutlery down, and you stood up with a smile.

"Ready than I'll ever be!"

Thor and Loki stood up and walked towards you, and you went to shake Loki's hand. His hands were cold, icy to the touch, and his slender fingers certainly overpowered your small ones. He leaned in before you could break away, whispering in your ear. "Come back soon, I'd love to see you again."

You blushed, nodding, and he gave you a sly wink. Sooner or later, you were back on Earth, missing Asgard more and more by the second.

—————

Two months later, and you were head over heels for Thor's brother. Once you returned back to earth, Tony made it very clear that he disapproved of your trip. He sat you, Thor, Clint, Nat and Steve down in the conference room and screamed at all of you, acting like a very strict father. He had no idea what had happened on Asgard, but he let it slip that all of the avengers had an agreement - never let y/n meet Loki. Obviously, that was out the window, and it resulted in a conflict between Steve and Tony, as per usual. However, all of the avengers shared one common thought, and it was that you should never go back to asgard again.

"She's met Loki and had a look around Asgard, now there's no reason for her to go back."

"What if he's done something to her mind? We can't let her go back."

"We can't let Loki back into the facility when y/n is around, we can't handle anything else happening at the moment."

You often heard Steve and Tony talking about you in the other room, but you ignored it. 3 trips to asgard, 2 secret earth dates and 1 sleepover later, you and Loki decided you were serious; you both liked each other so much, and you wanted to tell other people. However, you had no idea how you were going to tell the avengers. You almost got caught a few times, but luckily, you were quite good at covering yourself up.

"Yo, why are you texting Pizza Hut?"

"Stop looking at my phone, Sam! Besides, I was actually ordering us a pizza, but I guess I'll just go and make myself a sandwich instead..."

"No y/n I take it back!!!"

It was a quiet day in the avengers tower when you decided to share your secret. You, Steve, Tony, Nat, Thor, Bruce and Clint were in the conference room having just finished a meeting. Before anyone could leave, you asked to talk to them for a bit. Despite being happy and confident in telling your friends that you were in love, your palms were sweating and you felt slightly nauseated. Nat must have noticed, and asked if you were okay.

"Everything alright?"

You stood in front of the table, toying with the hem of your skirt behind your back. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at your colleagues sat in front of you.

"I actually have some news to share with you all. A couple of months ago, Thor and I went to Asgard, and I found out about your weird pact thingy forbidding me from meeting Loki. Well, it happened, and it went well! Despite you all feeling very strongly about it, I did enjoy myself. Honestly, I heard you all talking about me 'never returning' and not being able to see Loki again, and it did sorta hurt..."

Steve bowed his head down slightly and Natasha avoided eye contact; you didn't want to guilt trip them, so you continued.

"...and that's okay! You're allowed to be protective of your friends, and I understand why you'd want me to be cautious around certain people. But that's not the point: the point is, I'm an adult, and although I may not be as old as Steve," (Tony chuckled at that) "I'm still an adult. I went to college, I have a job, my own apartment. I'm old enough to know right from wrong, which is why I may or may not have seen Loki 6 times in the past two months..."

"What!?" Natasha looked furious, and everyone had their eyes on you. Steve looked disappointed, Tony didn't look surprised, and Thor seemed quite amused. Bruce and Clint didn't look phased, to be completely honest.

"Please listen to me, I'll explain everything." Everyone eased up slightly as you took a deep breath, standing closer to the table. "I've been back to Asgard four times, and Loki has come to earth twice to see me. I know you would all freak out about him coming to earth, but I made him wear that patch that Tony built which dampened his powers. Whenever he was on earth, he was just a normal person. We got to talking and decided to see each other more often, and we've become quite close."

"If you say that you and Loki are friends, I will jump off of this building." Natasha remarked, crossing her arms. She was definitely the most protective of you, seeing you as a little sister.

"You're not going to like this." you muttered, sighing.

"Loki and I are in love and we've been seeing each other for two months!" You spoke quicker than lightning, grinning at the end, and sprinting out of the conference room. As you ran to the common area, you heard shouting erupting from the conference room, mainly coming from Nat, Steve and Tony. You knew they wouldn't take it well, but you didn't expect it to go down this badly. You heard the commotion from the conference room slowly make it's way closer to the common area, so you bolted towards the bedrooms. You didn't live in the avengers tower, but practically everyone else did.

Hiding in Natasha's room is too obvious, she's the avenger who you're closest to. Hiding in Thor's is also too risky, as he has asgardian technology; as far as they're concerned, you might try and get in contact with Loki. Tony's room? Too stinky. Clint's room? Too stinky². Steve's room? You looked up to that man as a brother, and you certainly were not interested in whatever sort of magazines and movies that he kept in there ( ;) ). That left one other person's room: Bruce's. Quickly sliding into his room, you crawled under the poofy duvet on his bed. Luckily, Bruce's blanket was practically three duvets thick, so they wouldn't be able to tell that you were in there.

Bruce's sheets smelled like lavender and vanilla, with a very vague scent of aftershave; you loved it. You could probably stay there for hours, and even fall asleep, but the faint musk you smelled on his sheets reminded you of Loki. His aftershave always smelled like bonfires and liquor, a scent that you could fall in love with over and over again. You must have laid in in Bruce's bed for 20 minutes before you heard footsteps outside the door. You were never one to do this (run and hide from something difficult) as it seems childish, and the gang already treats you like a child enough. However, you didn't know how you would recover from this one. You heard doors open and close nearby - they must be looking for you. The door to Bruce's room suddenly opened, and you held your breath in an attempt to be quieter. You heard a deep sigh, and somebody sat on the end of the bed. You could just tell that it was Bruce, and you felt safer with him here.

"Listen, kid-"

"Bruce, you're my favourite, but call me kid one more time and I will smite you."

He chuckled and apologised, continuing to talk. "Sorry, y/n. I know how you feel. Frustrated, confused, low on hope." You poked your head out from underneath the duvet and moved over on the bed, sitting up. You motioned for Bruce to sit next to you, which he did.

"I've been through this sequence over and over again," he said, laying down next to you, "yet I never seem to break the cycle. But there's a difference between you and I, y/n. When I'm feeling like this, I show it. I'm not talking about hulking out, but about how I hold myself. I'll be visibly down and depressed, everyone can tell that I'm going through something. But you, you hold it in. You smile and laugh through every emotion you have, and I can't help but admire you for it."

You both turned your heads to look at each other, Bruce giving you a small smile.

"When you're sad or angry, you continue to smile. All of the other avengers get tricked by it, thinking that you're truly fine, but you don't fool me. I can see, every time you cover your emotions, I can see the fire behind your eyes. Or how you tighten your grip when you feel stressed. Although you may be smiling and laughing, I know what's going on behind those eyes. You do a good job, y/n, but maybe bottling it all up isn't the best option. Maybe that's why you fell for somebody who is the completely opposite, like Loki. Because you'd never dare to show your negative emotions outwardly and indulge in the feeling of letting everything out. Now that you've found somebody who you can share these emotions with, you feel like you can be yourself. What I'm failing to say, is perhaps you could let your emotions show a bit more. You don't have to complain or mope around the tower like Tony, but maybe let people know when you are uncomfortable, or confront people who make you upset."

You had closed your eyes about half way through Bruce's speech, and when you opened them your eyes brimmed with tears. He didn't say anything, but instead, Bruce held his arms out and took you in an embrace. You hugged him back, feeling warm and safe, not knowing how to express to him how much he meant to you.

"How did the others react?" You asked into his chest. Bruce was hesitant to reply, and didn't know whether it was best to tell you the truth or let you see for yourself. With a content sigh, he replied.

"I'm afraid to say they didn't take it very well. Natasha blames herself, Steve's a bit frustrated, and Tony...Tony said he feels 'stabbed in the back by his greatest friend', but I think he was being a bit too over dramatic."

"Why do they hate him so much?" You asked, pulling away from Bruce and sitting up on his bed.

"It's complicated." Bruce said, rubbing his forehead. "He's been with us in the past, but there have been multiple occasions where we've had to lock him up. We still don't know whether he's with us or against us, and now one of our best teammates is in love with him." You nodded, knowing what he meant. You knew you had to clear things up with the rest of the group, and you'd start with Natasha.

"Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sorry for hiding in here and messing up your covers, I'm going to go and talk to them and apologise." Before you got up from the bed, Bruce pulled you in for one last hug, planting a friendly kiss on your forehead. "Never apologise for falling in love."

—————

Never apologise for falling in love.

In your head, you repeated what Bruce had told you in his room. You were walking towards to common area where you knew the rest of the avengers would be. Bruce went in there first to calm everyone down, and you told him you'd be in there in a few minutes to tell everyone the news. Walking into the room, all eyes were on you. You became conscious of what you looked like, your face was probably red and puffy from crying.

"Do you have anything you'd like to say, y/n?" Steve asked in a harsh tone. He seemed extremely intimidating, and you suddenly felt small and worthless.

"Take it easy, Steve." Bruce said quite calmly. "Let her do it herself."

You smiled, a genuinely happy smile at Bruce. Despite having little to no confidence whatsoever, you were actually happy. Bruce had made you feel so much better, you had a boyfriend who you loved, and you wanted your friends to know whether they approved or not.

"I want to let you all know that I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't mean to bond with Loki, and I should never apologise for falling in love, and I'm not going to apologise. It's my life, and whether you approve or not, I'm going to continue to see Loki. However, I would like to apologise for how I acted. I shouldn't have run and hidden, and I could've broken the news in a nicer way. Do any of you have anything you'd like to say?"

There was a gloomy silence as the rest of the group contemplated what to say. Trying to alleviate the room of the awkwardness, Thor opined. "Well, I approve of your relationship, Lady y/n. I'm glad you've found someone!" Everyone looked at Thor, then back to you as you sat down on a chair. Steve opened his mouth and closed it a few times, he clearly was lost for words. Natasha was the first person to speak, coming to sit in the chair next to you.

"We overreacted, I'm sorry, y/n. I'm sure you could understand what we felt, but we support you. It'll take us a while to get used to it, but we all want you to feel comfortable. We love you, and if you love Loki then there is nothing we can do about it other than accept you."

The day ended with a group hug, lots of individual hugs from Natasha and Steve, and you & Bruce watching Star Wars after everyone had gone to bed. You were going to see Loki the next day, and you knew it would be the best day ever.

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lilulo-12fanfiction · 5 years

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Nothing Breaks Like A Heart- 3

So this took me about 8 years to write. I’m not sure why. But it’s unedited so please ignore the mistakes. The spacing looks off but I’m posting this on mobile so I’ll look at it on my laptop mañana. Likes, comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

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@fanfictionjunkie1112 @shreddedparchment

“Uncle Tony! Uncle Tony!” A 6 year old Nora ran to her Uncle and he scooped her up in his arms. “I missed you!” Nora repeatedly kissed her young uncle’s clean shaven face.

“I missed you too baby doll. Why don’t you go over and see Grandpa Obe. I think he has a present for you.” Tony set Nora down and she ran down the hall.

Nora was dreaming. She knew she was. She was standing there watching her memory unfold. It was the strangest dream. She had never had one like this.

“Hello Nora.” Nora slowly turned as her hands trembled. She knew the voice. She took a shaky breath and came face to face with Loki.

“How are you in my dream?” Loki gave Nora a smirk.

“I’m a God Nora Stark. There are many things I can do.”

“Then why are you here?”

“We had so little time together. There is much you don’t know. Things your father hid from you and your Uncle. I’m here to lead you to the truth. Pay attention to this.” Loki turned you back to the scene before you. This couldn’t be your memory. You had left the room.

“Grant- it’s her birthday and every year you leave her here and vanish for days. Eventually she’s not going to be okay with it. You lost your wife. But she lost her mother.”

“Her mother is gone and it’s my job to protect her from what’s to come. I leave to protect her. You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand.”

“If Nora here infringes on your extra curricular activities, I can get a Nanny.”

“Don’t be stupid. This has nothing to do with her being here. I look forward to this all year. But I’m worried that some day she’s going to resent you and it will be too late.”

“She’s not you. And I’m not our father so just stop. I’ll see you in a week.” Tony stood staring blankly as his brother stormed out. He had no idea what he was hiding. He had left without even saying goodbye to Nora.

“Protect me from what’s to come? What does that mean?!” Nora demanded answers from Loki.

“You have to put it together on your own. I can guide you Nora but you must put the pieces together. “

Before Nora could respond she jolted awake. Her heart was pounding and she couldn’t catch her breath. She felt like she was in a bad version of a Dickens Novel

“That must have been some dream” A deep voice came from her right. She looked over and saw Steve Rogers sitting in the chair next to her bed in the med wing.

“It was intense.” Nora started to regain her bearings.

“Look. I know you don’t want to see me and you think I’m the bad guy. But I had to make that decision. Tony knew what he was doing. I couldn’t risk everything he was willing to sacrifice. I wouldn’t have made that choice if”

“Steve. Steve. I know. I was a bitch. I was emotional and upset and I took it out on you. I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. It was just a lot and I think the poison in my system is making me delirious or something but I know you made the right decision. My uncle wouldn’t able to live with himself if people died to save him.” Steve took Nora’s hand. He could tell she was getting upset again.

“It’s forgotten. It was a difficult day. I’m just glad you and Tony are okay.”

“I think okay is stretch.” Nora laughed.

"Well physically okay." Steve squeezed Nora's hand as the door to her room opened. Bruce walked in, seemingly surprised to see Steve sitting there.

"You ready to get out of here?" Bruce had a strange look on his face.

"I thought you said I'd be here for longer?" Nora furrowed her brow.

"Well, we originally thought you would need IV Antibiotics for longer. It seemed like a nasty infection. But apparently it is healing a lot quicker than anticipated. You aren’t out of the woods but we can switch you to oral antibiotics now. You're still going to be sore and the stitches may give you some trouble but we should be able to take them out soon. There's no reason for you to stay in this bed any longer. But Nora, you need to take it easy for a bit."

“Define take it easy” Bruce looked exasperated as he ran his palm down his face.

“You need to stay in the building for now. We don’t want you exposed to any other bacteria. We don’t know how this will affect your immune system. You’re going to have to keep your leg elevated and the swelling down and crutches to walk.

“So really just like being here but in my own bed or on my ass wheeling around. Bruce I have work to do. The tower is a mess. The city is a mess.”

“It’s not up to you to fix it. You need to take care of yourself.” Nora’s lips were pursed. “Don’t look at me like you’re trying to appease me. You have

to follow instructions.” Bruce was pleading. “Or I’ll call Tony and you’ll stay here.”

“She’ll follow directions Dr. Banner. I’ll make sure of it.” Steve had his arms crossed in front of his chest with authority. Nora’s nostrils flared. Before she could attempt to argue Steve continued talking. “You’re going to need help. Tony needs to recover himself. I, however, am already healed. Let me help you.”

“Must be nice being a Super Soldier, but fine.” Nora threw her hands up. “But don’t even think about trying to treat me like a child.” Nora pointed her finger at Steve with raised eyebrows.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾

Steve wheeled Nora into her apartment. Both he and Bruce insisted on her using it to get to her wing of the tower and use it to go anywhere else in the tower except around her loft.

"Now what?' Nora sighed. Steve could tell she was upset but was trying not to show it.

"Now, I'm going to order some dinner. I don't think you want to be poisoned by my cooking on top of everything else. And then we can watch a movie or whatever you want to do."

"I need to shower, I feel disgusting." Steve nodded and was about to wheel her down to her room. "No, give me the crutches. I'm not an invalid" Steve rolled his eyes and handed her the crutches. He didn't attempt to help her to her feet, he knew she wouldn't let him. He watched her hobble down the hall to her bedroom. He opened a few drawers in her kitchen until he found some menus and pulled them out to decide what to get them for dinner.

Behind the door of her bathroom, Nora let a sob escape from her mouth. She was trying so hard to keep her emotions tucked inside, but after what had just happened she was floored. Aliens, Gods, more aliens. She had no idea what she would have done if she had lost her Uncle. She let her tears flow as she hobbled over to her dresser and pulled out a grey t-shirt and a pair of lavender and grey striped shorts. She struggled for a few moments to figure out how to get changed. She couldn't put any pressure on her leg without horrifying pain. She took a deep breath to center herself and went to the door. "Steve?" she called out. She heard his heavy foot steps and soon he was at her door. "Can you see if you can get Nat or Pepper in here?"

"Nat isn't here, she's at SHEILD. Pepper is doing a press conference right now. Are you okay?" Nora didn't want to open the door for Steve to see her tear stained face.

"I just." She paused. "I can't get changed to get into the shower."

"Do you...do you want my help?" Nora groaned. She didn't want to wait until Pepper would be done. It could be hours. She'd have to swallow her pride and let him help her. She wiped her face as best she could and opened the door. "Nora...you're crying." She clearly she hadn't done a good enough job.

"I'm fine." She stepped back so Steve could walk in. He enveloped her in a hug. She stood there shocked for a moment and then hugged him back and then she felt the damn of tears burst open. He slipped his arm behind her knees and picked her up like she was a feather and walked over to her bed so they could sit. He held her as she cried. "I'm sorry. I don’t know why I’m so damn emotional” She sobbed. "I don't normally break down and cry in front of people. I just..."

"Shhh...don't you dare apologize. And don't hold this all in. I've got you. You're safe with me. These past couple of days have been a lot.” Nora took a deep breath. They sat like that for a while. Nora across Steve’s lap as he had his arms wrapped around her torso and hers around his neck. Finally Nora pulled back.

“I really need to shower but I need help.” Her face turned pink.

“I can help you. I won’t look. It’s okay.” Steve helped her stand up and into her bathroom. She grabbed a towel from her linen cabinet and set it on the counter. Steve opened her shower door and started the water. “How hot do you want it?”

“So hot it almost melts my face off?” Steve laughed.

“I’m not going to turn it that hot. You can adjust it once you get in.” Nora nodded.

“Okay, this is awkward, let’s just power through. I can’t balance to take my pants on or off.” Steve nodded. “I’m going to turn around. I feel like my bare ass is less embarrassing. I mean an ass is ass.”

“However you’re most comfortable “‘Steve laughed. Nora turned around and pulled her t-shirt off and threw it in the hamper. Steve felt his mouth go dry. Nora felt his hands on her hips. “Okay I’m going to slide them off.” Nora nodded. She felt the heat burning on her cheeks. She felt like someone was blowing bubbles in her stomach. She was painfully aware of how firm Steve was holding her waste. His calloused hands were hot against her skin. Suddenly she was painfully aware that she was completely naked. “Can you step in by yourself?” Nora nodded unable to speak. She stepped in and quickly shut the door behind her. “I’m going to go back into your room. The towel is right here. Call me when you’re ready for me.

“Okay. Thanks Steve.” Nora felt her heart pounding.

“Of course. I’ll be right outside”. Steve ran his hands down his face. He spent the entire time thinking of the most non-sexual thoughts he could to avoid being turned on. He was attracted to Nora, she was beautiful, but there was something about her that was magnatizing.

He looked around her room. The walls were a grayish purple. The room wasn’t as big as he thought it would be, but it was still bigger than any room he had ever slept in. There was a slanted ceiling near the bathroom that created a large alcove where an oak roll top desk and chair was located. She had a matching chest of drawers that matched the desk as well as a large bookshelf that was loaded with books. Nora being a bookworm made him smile. Her king sized bed was in the middle of the room with an oak nightstand on one side and on the other was an elaborate lamp. It was built like a tree and was covered with glass flowers that all had tiny light bulbs in the middle. There was a smaller black lamp on the night stand.

Parallel to the wall with the door was a set of glass french doors with trim painted the black. It led out to a substantial balcony. Steve imagined Nora spent a lot of time out there. Her glanced over at her bluish purple bed spread that was a soft chenille. It was simple and loaded with pillows. He wondered how she fit in the bed with that many pillows. He walked over to the bookshelf and took a picture off to study it. It had

to be her parents. Grant was the spitting imagine of Howard Stark, even more than Tony. He knew the woman was her mother, although her hair was blonde it hung in spirals like Nora’s. She also had the same captivating sea green eyes as her daughter. Next to that was a picture of an older Howard and he assumed Maria who was holding a little bundle he was sure was Nora. Steve knew they didn’t live much longer after the picture had been taken. He glanced at a few photos of Nora and Grant. There was one of Nora, maybe 12, with Pepper. There was then an onslaught of photos of Nora and Tony. Ones with a young Tony and a toddler Nora. He saw her grow up in the photos. Her High School graduation, prom, a Christmas photo. Despite all of her loss, Tony has given her the best life possible. Not with his money, but with how much he loved her. The pride in his eyes in each photo jumped out at you. His favorite picture was of her and Tony, she was holding a cello and happiness was radiating from her.

Steve jumped and put the photo with back when he heard the bathroom door open. Nora hobbled out wearing her towel and holding her clothes. “I’m all done.” Her voice was quiet and sheepish.

“Here, sit down on the edge of the bed.” Steve helped her over as she sat. He took the black cotton boy short panties and slid them up to her knees and did The same with her shorts. “If you stand will you be able to pull them up the rest of the way?” Nora nodded. Steve tried to ignore her blazingly red face. “Okay, I’ll help you stand and then you can finish getting dressed. Your crutches are right there on the bed.” Steve helped her stand and then headed towards her door.

“Steve?” He heard her say in almost a whisper. “Thank you.” He nodded at her with a smile and headed back out to the living room.

♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾

Nora used her crutches to get back out to the main area. Her large apartment started with an open floor plan. The substantial kitchen and living room were what you saw when you walked in. Dark hardwood floors throughout. Parallel to her door was a long hallway with 5 doors. On the right hand side was first the guest bedroom and the master bedroom at the end of the hall. On the other side there were two more doors with a half bath in the middle. Each bedroom had its own bathroom.

“So I ordered some pizza and wings. I figured it was a safe bet.”

“That’s fine, but I’m not really hungry to be honest.”

“You definitely have to eat Nora. All of that medicine will kill your stomach.” She nodded and hobbled over to the living room. She had a large taupe microfiber couch with ottoman at each end and two over sized chairs on each side. There was an antique looking entertainment center and above it, mounted to the wall was a large flat screen TV. About 6 feet back from the couch was a large wooden table with a marble top. It had a long bench on the side closest to the wall with 3 large chairs Across from it and 2 on each end. There was a wall of floor to ceiling windows. Across from the large table right next to the windows was a baby grand piano. Nora sat on the couch propping her leg up on the ottoman.

“You really don’t have to stay Steve. I’ll be fine.” Nora finally said. Steve had been studying her profile after she sat down. She looked overwhelmed and slightly sad.

“I know you’d be fine but you really shouldn’t be alone. Something could happen and you’re not at 100%. Unless you don’t want me here, I could call Nat.”

“No that’s not it. I just feel bad that I’m hijacking your life.” Steve walked over and sat next to Nora and faced her.

“You’re not hijacking anything. There’s no place else I’d rather be.” His warm smile set her at ease. His hand was next to hers and she linked her pinky with his. Steve was amazed that a tiny little touch could send his heart racing. Before either of them could say or do anything else there was a knock on the door. Steve jumped up to open it and was greeted by Tony’s confused face. He walked past Steve into the apartment. Steve could tell he was trying to appear uninjured but his movements said otherwise. Even after a few days since the battle his face was bruised up.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here Cap.” Tony glanced over his shoulder with a knowing look at Steve. He looked guilty and Nora looked flustered.

“Uh Dr. Banner had some stipulations on letting Nora out of the med bay so I told him I’d stick around to help.”

“Jarvis- have some clothes sent over for the Captain if he’s staying here. Don’t need him smelling up the place.” Tony ordered his A.I. He smiled at Nora and kissed her on the cheek and sat down next to her. “Hi babydoll, how’s my girl?” Steve stepped into the kitchen to give them some privacy. He sat at the large island on one of the stools. The marble top on the island and the rest of the counters matched the table. The color of the cabinets matched the color of her furniture. Her french door refrigerator and 6 burner stove as well as the dish washer were black. He looked at the walls of the entire area. The color was a very pale turquoise. Almost so pale it was white. One wall on the living room side behind the table and piano was exposed brick. Her tastes were simple and clean.

“I’m okay. Really tired still. How are you? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“Oh honey I’m fine. I’ve had worse than this.”

Nora gave him a skeptical look. “I came over once I heard you were back over here to see if you wanted to stay on my floor so you weren’t alone, but I see you aren’t.”

“You need to take care of yourself and not worry about me. You fell out of the sky!”

“Banner broke my fall.” Tony gave his signature smirk. “But I see you’re in good hands here so I’m going to head back over before Pepper comes hunting for me. Call me if you need anything.” Tony kissed her forehead. “Love you Nori. Keep that leg up and don’t try to over do it.”

“Ditto, on all accounts.” She smiled adoringly up at her Uncle. He gave her a shrug.

“My legs are fine.” He turned to Steve and nodded “Captain.” After a second glance, he headed out the door.

Steve managed to get Nora to eat a piece of pizza and a couple of wings. He took it as a victory. He walked back over to the couch and handed Nora her antibiotics and some of her pain medication. She swallowed it quickly with her water. Steve sat down next to her as she picked another movie.

“You look exhausted. Why don’t we call it a night.”

“I don’t want to sleep” Nora confessed.

“You need some rest. It’ll help you heal.”

“If I sleep, I’ll dream and I’d like to avoid that.” Concern was draped over Steve’s face.

“Nightmares?”

“Among other things.”

“Here lean forward.” As Nora moved he slid behind her so she could rest her torso on his and stretch her legs out across the couch. It took Nora a moment to settle back, taken by surprise. Once she was resting against him Steve covered them with the large blanket that was on the back of the couch. “Rest, go to sleep. If you start having a nightmare I’ll wake you up.” Nora nodded and then started the movie. About 15 minutes after the movie started her head fell back against Steve’s shoulder. Steve leaned his head back and closed his eyes, the sweet smell of Nora’s shampoo helping him drift off to sleep.

#steve rogers x stark oc #steve rogers x oc #captain america x oc #captain american imagine #captain america #steve rogers #stark oc #tony stark x oc #tony stark #tony stark x stark!OC #avengers fic #avengers fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers imagine

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i-am-loki-and-now-i-speak-up · 6 years

Text

About my Blood: Loki Laufeyson

I was waiting for you.

That was what you wanted, wasn't it?

Loki Laufeyson. This is the name by which you learned to know me. From the infamous day in the Voult, when I first uttered it, with a broken voice, ... incredulous gaze.

A violent and painful emotion.

My ears were ringing, I stared at the emptiness for explanations that would never come.

Laufey's son.

Before starting I want to say immediately what I may have never dared to admit aloud ...

I started calling myself Laufeyson for revenge against Odin.

Just to spite him.

To reiterate that, if for him I had never been worthy to bear his name, I too didn't want to have anything to do with his people, arrogant and self-centered.

Calling myself Loki Laufeyson made me feel free from the yoke of Odin, from the power he had on me.

It was like laughing at his coldness.

"I am not like you, nor like that boisterous idiot of your son ..." said that name "I am other, something different from all of you, fucking hypocrites, that you go around like all of you were all shining and immaculate souls! "

It was like being able to shake off his reproach, his frowning expression of eternal discontent.

I was no longer Loki Odinson, sad, silent and obedient; that new identity, that reappropriation of my true roots had injected me strength, courage, will.

My Father silently disdained me for what I really was? Did all of them point out to me like the jealous, conspirator, liar and deceiver?

Very well, I would have satisfied them all by dressing gloriously of my new name.

I was a Frost Giant, son of an evil race, murderous and treacherous, .. he who had begotten me was their King, Laufey by the grin of predator, the look of blood, the hands dripping of the annihilated lives of his enemies and who knows who's others.

If this was what they thought of me, I would have given it to them.

Loki Laufeyson would have been what others wanted, or thought, I was.

And so Loki Laufeyson has betrayed Asgard, betrayed his brother, rejected his mother, tried to take what had always been denied. A place.

He brought chaos and destruction to Midgard, sparking a strange war that hiding something else behind it.

Loki Laufeyson was the most evil I could be.

And once again I find myself wondering if it was really what I wanted. The hatred toward my Father and the desire for revenge for what he had done devoured my soul, so that nothing at that time seemed to me enough to punish him.

To punish all of them, damned Asgardians, ... them and that look of superiority with which they all gazed at the others.

Loki Laufeyson had taken the little Loki with sad eyes by the hand, and with persuasive and poisonous words had put him in a corner, in silence, ... once again silenced and left to watch destroy his world and the people who, somehow, he still loved.

Whispering with his voice of treacherous velvet: "Look, child, ... look how easy it is to lie and deceive, taste the sweet taste of revenge, I do it for you, child. Is what you've always wanted, isn't? Be good, now, and let the pain of others drive your own pain away... "

Loki Laufeyson hasn't looked at anyone in order to have his revenge: not his brother, not his mother, ...for not to mention that infamous, arrogant liar of his father.

Yet I still believe that "he" was also a victim of Odin.

I know what you are thinking.

"How the hell do you talk today? Loki Laufeyson are you ... what are these little words tricks?"

Ah, sweet Midgardians children, you know how much the words plays on my lips, and how much I enjoy myself in this. Nevertheless there are events, in my unfortunate life, which by their nature can not be analyzed rationally.

By their nature, yes...

Do you have any idea, the furthest idea of what it meant to me, a boy, to have discovered the gigantic lie that had been my life up to that moment? See with horror my skin become blue, the sneer of the demon that held me tight so as not to lose even a moment of my loss, my paiful disbelief.

Understanding in a moment that nothing would ever be like before.

If ever there had been, a "before" ...

The nightmare had begun to end no more. I had become Loki Laufeyson. I had always been Loki Laufeyson.

A misfortune. The enemy. The blue demon. The monster.

I understood in a moment my father's lies, and the reason for his detachment. The most cynical part of me could even understand it.

How can you love someone you've never really wanted? The son of your worst enemy ...

How can you love a child who, you already know, will never be like you, or like the perfect child you already have ...?

You can not. And if you try to do it, at most you can offer that kind indifference, cold as the winter sun. And that will hurt him, slowly, silently, day by day, without remedy ....

Pay no attention to what has been shown to you. I didn't accepted that very uncomfortable truth in a week: things don't go so fast, and the souls torn to pieces, sometimes, need time to go crazy little by little.

I lived with that heartbreaking truth, in silence, for a long time, ... yes, a lot, if I speak in Midgardians terms.

My father had filled my brother and me, and our little children's minds, with myriads of grim and bloody stories about how monstrous the Jotunn demons were. Thor has become a man with the glorious mission to exterminate them one by one.

Can you understand my hell?

My pure terror? After a youth spent hating and fearing that breed of brutal murderers, suddenly the monster is me. I'm one of them.

One of them...

Can you understand? The sense of emptiness, the nausea, the disgust ... the feeling to be disgusting and dirty, guilty only for the fact of existing, living and breathing there, among the radiant Aesir. How many times I washed myself, in my rooms, and rubbed my skin, rubbed, rubbed ... with my nails, even, ... until I bleed, as if that blue could disappear, that horrible lizard color that disgusted me up to the point to throw up all night, desperate and on the verge of insanity.

And then the sharp thought of never being enough for anyone took over.

Not for my father, the biological one, ... the monster, he is, yes, ... who had chosen death for his son, whose only fault was to be small in a race of giants. Not for the man, ... The God who had wanted to save me for a strange mixture of emotions and strategies.

Odin, Allfather, who had found this adopted son under his roof, ... and who, only after many years, he realized he could never love him. I had not been enough for anyone.

Not enough for Laufey. Not enough for Odin.

If I had died there, on the frozen rock, it would have been better for everyone. Me for first.

I tell this myself again, sometimes, when anguish tortures me and sadness devours my broken soul.

Loki Laufeyson.

The son of the enemy. The Lost Prince. But also the rightful King of that inhospitable place, dark, cold, with the pungent air of ice.

Jotunheim.

When we were young, this word was enough for Thor and I to be overwhelmed by shivering with fear. And many, countless times, I stayed awake until late under the covers, terrified of finding one of those blue monsters, drooling next to my bed to devour me.

If only I had imagined ...

I am still struggling to accept passively my true heritage, ... to accept "the other", the blue demon I see in the mirror every time I allow my magic to loosen.

It's not easy for me, it's not at all.

Do you want to see?

Will you bear the sight of what I really am? Do you think you are ready, you who cry out to love my Jotunn nature, and accept my true appearance, no matter what?

....

Here, do you see it? Do you see the demon?

My skin ...is not ... it's not pale. It's blue ... my mother used to say that it looked beautiful, beautiful like the snow at dusk when it turns blue, .. but she could find some good anywhere ...

Do you see it? It is cold, cold as ice, adorned with intricate lines, lighter blue. They point out at my Prince Jotunn's blood, in truth. I already knew that, ever since I was a boy, I was studying and reading about the many peoples who live in Yggdrasill like so many swarming insects. The lines on my forehead are the three qualities that a King Jotunn must have: ruthlessness, brutality, and the last one, the one divided in two in a specular manner, is explained by a sentence in an ancient manuscript about my race ... "If you have to die, bring your enemy with you "

What kind of creature am I, with death written on my face?

Look me in the eyes, come on ...

Are they still the captivating, deep green eyes you're in love with?

They are eyes like a beast, a ferret, demon eyes that pierce the darkness and that see you everywhere. Killer eyes.

Do you still like me? Am I still the wonderful God of Mischief ?

What do you see of me now?

Is it equally fascinating, Loki Laufeyson, in his purest form?

.....

You know, ... in the time when I started fighting my furious inner battle against "him", I also started to accept the fact of being this, and try to change it at the same time. To prove to the eyes of all those pompous bastards that does not count the color of the skin, but what you have inside ... that moves you, this is what matters.

I wanted to prove that I was different. I wanted to prove everyone that they was wrong.

So once I saved a girl, prey of dangerous winter fevers.

The healers no longer knew what to do, while she was extinguished like a little candle, day after day, thinning like a ghost, her eyes rimmed with dark circles, her lips dry and cracked. She stood still in his little bed, barely breathing, moaning from time to time, in his heavy and painful sleep.

I knew her. She was the daughter of a soldier, ... a shy girl who gave flowers to Thor and weaved silky bracelets to me. An adorable, innocent girl.

One day I went into the Healing Chambers and got everyone out. His mother, ... the maids, the old doctors with that heavy look of eternal gravediggers ...everybody get out, leave me alone with her ...

I sat at the side of the bed and watched her breathing hard.

"Thor's flowers have dried up, child, and you promised me a green silk bracelet with a new weave, do you remember?" I whispered, stroking her hot temples "Come back to us, come back to those who love you, little bird, ... Hel's bleating dogs are not worthy of your lovely face ..."

I gently took her hand, rested my lips on her forehead and loosened the magic that held the Jotunn shape.

I had to be very careful not to use too much power not to hurt her, ... just let the frost of my skin sooth the fever fire, slowly.

"Come back, little one... come on, come back to us, to those who love you ..."

And she did it. The fever lowered and I saw her sleep in peace, without jolts and moans, ... just pink cheeks, regular breathing. She was just very cold and red where I had touched it.

She healed, and she never knew it, though I suspect her mother understood it and told it to her, as she later thanked me stammering with tear-stained eyes. Little Elìn ... I hope life smiled at her later.

Last time I saved my brother.

Yes, you read that right, you don't need to reread.

I saved the precious God of Thunder's ass.

When my father allowed him to return from his exile (again, ... forget the stories of images you saw, ... the time is a ribbon much more intricate than simple visual tales...) there was another battle. Little thing, in truth, ... a skirmish. I could say that we had fought worst ones, yet on this occasion Thor was badly wounded. Very badly. Like a boy.

To a thigh, in a wretched spot, and the blood oozed out.

We had dragged between dry heather and boulders, far from the fight now exhausted, and both battered we looked at each other to see if we were still alive.

In reality, I was on the verge of losing my mind, and I was fighting another battle in silence, so as not to get rid of the demons' bites. So I pretended. My father had taught me that. Or rather, imposed, since I was a child, and I had become good.

In a few days I would have come down to the Vault looking for answers, ... but I was telling another thing.

About Thor who, under my eyes, was bleeding like a rookie. Livid as if he were already dead, he looked at me trembling, his pants torn and soaked with blood: he also tried to disguise, with his smile like a braggart, ... but it was like seeing the depths of Hel come to take one piece at a time .

"Why...why you look at me like that, Loki, ... stop, ... you ... you're making me nervous ..."

My coat that had stopped the bleeding for a while, now no longer held ... I saw it darken, full of blood.

"You're dying, you silly, brainless oaf, how should I look at you?" I muttered.

He, with his last strength, grabbed me brutally by the shoulder and shook me: he still possessed a tremendous force, even with the claws of death planted in the neck .

"Do not you dare to talk to me like this anymore, little brother!

I pushed him away.

"Or what?" I cried, "Will you kill me like the Giants you hate so much? Just a little longer and you won't have a brother anymore!"

I said it because I wanted to poke into his arrogant, empty head that was really dying. To hear it now, it sounds sadly truthful, I realize ...

I pushed him against a rock to remain seated, then tore off the hood, uncovering the bloody gash.

"All right, I've had enough!" Now shut up, for once! "

I put my hand on it, he jumped violently: the blood leaked through my fingers, running in tiny red revolts. I had no more time to think ...

"Loki, what ... what are you doing ...?"

"I'm saving your life, you stupid, and now you close your mouth ... and don't say anything, before I change my mind ..."

In truth he no longer had the strength, and remained motionless, half-fixed, staring at me.

"We have to close this damn wound, ... and in the absence of fire, the ice will do the same service ..."

"Wha-what...?" became even paler.

Once again I loosed the magic and my skin went blue, the blue marks on my face, the demon's red eyes, ... I shuddered with terror: I was in front of Thor the Almighty in my full Jotunn form. Even at the point of death, he could raise Mjiollnir and crush me instantly, like a harassing insect. But the moments passed and I was still alive ...

"The fire and the ice both burn, isn't it? Only the ice is colder ..." I said it with tears in my eyes, chuckling.

Thor stared at me, wide-eyed, motionless, as if he were already dead and looking at me from the Otherworld. But then he whispered:

"Loki ... Loki, of all your idiocies ... what ... what the hell is that ...?"

"This is the most idiotic of all, I know, ..." I whispered almost speaking to myself "Now close that damn mouth and don't let me say it again!"

I gave him no more way to reply, not even to look at me again with those haunted and upset eyes; I pulled the edges of the wound and squeezed, letting the power of nature Jotunn flow. I heard him scream, he clung to me with such violence that he almost broke my shoulder. I found myself staring at her blue eyes, full of resentment and surprise, planted in mine, red like the berries of winter.

They were furious and fierce eyes, which almost physically attacked me. He would have killed me. If only he had had a little more strength I am sure he would have killed me instantly, before realizing that it was me, prey to hatred of my race. Hatred that our father had instilled in him since childhood, poisonous drops that had corrupted his heart.

But it did not happen.

After those terrible moments, Thor gasped, closed his eyes and then collapsed heavily against me, unconscious.

I looked at him in shock, without having the courage to breathe, or dare to touch him: slowly, the magic that concealed my true aspect resumed control, and my skin became discoloring to become the pale one of Aesir. Although battered and covered with dried blood.

I was still. Hands up. The disheveled blond head of my brother abandoned on my chest.

What ... what did I just do? As I had thought of ...

But it was the only way not to have a new God of Thunder in my life.

Merciful Gods of Asgard ... I had just shown myself to Thor, in my Jotunn form and saved him from bleeding. It sounded damn surreal and senseless ...

And now what would have happened?

I remember checking the wound. It smoked. A dense, icy and whitish smoke. The skin was purple, almost blackish, so cold that it burned, if it makes sense ... the edges were juxtaposed, covered with a thin layer of ice and frost crystals. There was dried blood encrusted everywhere. Frost and dried blood on his pants, on my trembling hands, on Thor's blonde hair. A mess...

The wound was closed, burned by frost. Thor was safe. In a few days, I would have found myself dangling in the void beyond Bifrost, pushed down by my father's firm and cruel "no". Odin, who left his son to choose death with that refusal to resonate in the air, while the emptiness already cradled him.

That day, though, I had saved Thor's precious life and nobody ever knew it. Not even him, who was convinced that he survived because he had the brilliant idea of ??pressing fresh snow on the wound, ... that stupid naive child !!

This was and is still Loki Laufeyson. Contradictions and twisted thoughts.

Loki Laufeyson is an ice-skinned demon, torn between good and evil, left there to scream all his anger. Torn by the desperate need of approval and the cynical desire not to belong to anyone else who is not himself.

My legacy is dark, my lineage, brutal and cruel, ... while Asgard was my stepmother, at first benevolent, then, with resentment and cruelty, she abandoned me when I needed her more.

Is it any wonder, then, if I find this painful and inextricable tangle of demons that devour my soul, sometimes in silence, sometimes, ... as now, ... screaming all their anguish?

It cost me a lot to write all this. A lot of effort, a lot of time, a lot of tears, sleepless nights and new sadness.

And yet I'm not satisfied with it, because I feel there's still so much to boil in my bloody Jotunn blood. Something indefinite, nameless that presses and cries to be heard, to be seen, to have space

I have not even figured out who the hell I am yet.

The green-eyed sad child who was praying for a sincere caress of his father? The young Prince that no one has ever loved? The miserable wreck that caused the death of his mother? The glorious, shining God of Mischief, with his captivating smile and sharp tongue? The Frost demon that saved Thor's life?

Who is Loki Laufeyson?

All of this?

Something else, so terrible that others see and I have not dared to recognize?

From time to time I loosen the magic that hides my appearance, and I look at myself, as you did a while ago.

Do not think it's so natural for me, or that I like it. I spent years to remain impassive in front of the mirror, to look at my face furrowed by blue lines, crazy eyes ... my body, the blue skin, cold as ice on the water.

....

Here it is. I scrutinize. I look at myself.

I try to find splinters of what I have always known about myself in that blue-haired unkempt that looks back at me, beyond the mirror.

Loki Laufeyson.

This is what my father feared. That's why he kept me away. I wonder if he thought the same things when he picked me up, ... a Jotun baby. I wonder if he hated me since then.

A newborn baby who cried in despair, believing he had to die ... what threat could I represent?

But I had Laufey's blood, murderer and traitor. However, I was condemned.

It was my blood that scared him, that alarmed him.

Jotunn blood. The blood of a King.

I will never give up what the others think I should be. I will not bend to their judgments.

I am free of all their hypocrisy, and I have chosen to live respecting myself, ... at least for a while, as far as I can. For the time when my demons leave me alone.

Little Loki Odinson came out of his corner, tired of being put aside by everyone, and now speaks for himself.

I smile. I grin.

And the image in the mirror smiles me back.

#loki laufeyson speaks #trust my words #jotunheim loki #my true form #sigh

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

Text

Love is Selfless, It's Kind (Loki x Female Reader) (Part 46)

Summary : Your life with loki is about to change and change quickly.

Warning : 18+, smut, blowjob, sub loki, Mommy kink

Note : Shortest chapter of the series but I wanted to out something out as I'll be busy tomorrow

Taglist : @colifower @rinacreateart @christineblood @the-wounded-healer05 @lokiprompts @geeky-politics-46 @sharklover927 @virtualstrawberrydinosaur @huntress-artemiss @rat-p1ss @snigdha-14

"Who tried to lovefied you then loki?"

He looked at you and sighed

"Fandral"

That bastard, god you're going to kill him and feed his bones to dogs. How dare he use a fucking love potion on your lo. Fuck this guy "What a slimy vindictive bastard" you shook your head and he chuckled at your reaction

"I didn't care about him but then one day I found myself obsessed with him, so I went straight to ma, I didn't tell her who it was though and ma taught me everything about it, she even helped me make an antidote" he told you and you sighed, thank god for frigga. Now you can understand how someone can get obsessed with him, especially after sleeping with him for a night, but going to such extent for that, you didn't understand that.

Things are getting messier and Messier with every revelation, you often wonder how life must be like on Asgard, with potions and magic and Odin walking around freely.

You walked over to loki and you hugged him tightly, he has been through so much and there are still so many things you don't know about him "Don't worry princess I'll keep you safe I promise" he told you and you teared up "I want to keep you safe" you said to him and he smiled at you "You do, always, I'm always safe with my princess" you stood up on your tippy toes and you wrapped your arms around his neck "so fandral, Aliksia and Odin are involved in this? Who else?" You asked him and he shook his head "Possibly your mother, I have a feeling it was Aliksia or Odin who told her about you being here, It might be a reach though but the way she disappeared off the face of this planet, something is not right" your mother is a snake, you should have seen that way before she tried to kill you,

"Don't go anywhere baby, I want you all to myself, and with me, I'm not letting you go anywhere alone" you told him and he picked you up in his arms "Whatever you need my goddess, I'm here okay? Won't go anywhere without you I promise" He laid you down on the bed and you pull him on top of you but then you flipped him underneath you, then you sat down on his torso, you looked at him intently and he is doing the same, he's the first to break though "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked you as unbuttoned his shirt "Like what?"

"Like you want to eat me" he giggled and then he moaned as felt your index finger trailing from the dip between his neck to his sternum and then the line between his abs "Maybe I do, want me to eat you?" You asked him and he bit on his lips "Pleasee?" You smiled as you heard him, you got off him and dimmed the light, he turned his head on the bed to look at you, he's so beautiful it hurts sometimes.

You took your shirt off and you were just left in your bra and shorts, you climbed back on the bed and you unbuttoned his pants , then you pulled the zipper down with your teeth. He perched himself on his elbows to watch you, "Hips up kitten" you commanded him and he laid down again then pressed his hips up so you can pull down his pants, once you get him all naked, he scoots up so he can place his head on the pillow, he's all bare for you and you're still clothed, he felt exposed and he loved it "Hold the headboard kitten, arms up" he smiles as he hears you, you're so bossy like this.

He placed his arms up, holding the metal bars over his head, the golden night lamp reflected perfectly on his pale skin, he's perfect. How is he yours? You question yourself everyday. His cock stood proudly aching to be touched, You placed his hard cock on his torso and then leaned down and ran your tongue from bottom to top of the underside of his cock and he shivered at the warm wet touch "Mmm I can't touch you princess?" He mumbled and you shook your head in no

"Why ? " He whined as you licked on his balls and then you sucked it "fuckiinng hel my love" he moaned loudly and you look at him "You know you're being so damn loud?" You crawled upto him and he's looking at you like a lost puppy, eyes so wide open, hair messy, mouth slightly open as his breathing quickened "Sorry mommy, I'm so sorry" he mumbled and you instantly felt wet at the choice of words, he made you discover kinks you never thought you'd have "Silly baby, don't make me gag you" you leaned down to kiss him and he moaned into your mouth.

Oh now he's thinking about that and he's not opposed to it "you can do whatever you want to me, pleaseee just ...mmm touch me please" he mumbled and you smiled "You'd let me gag you Little kitten?" You asked him and he nods in yes "too bad, I enjoy your moans way too much to do that" you crawled down on him and you sucked on his nipples, earning another whimpery moan from him, then you moved lower, his cock painfully hard and your mouth felt empty, you wanted to suck on him and squeeze all that delicious milk out of him, you love to feed on him.

You sucked on the tip and his grip on the headboard got tighter as he folded his knees up, eager for you to take him deeper in your mouth, however you took your time as you sucked again and again like a popsicle "Oh Mommy please, more ..I uhh need moreee" his eyes teared up as he begged you and how can you not fulfill his every wish , you sucked him in deeper, and boy he was loud. But he didn't care, neither did you, you took him as deep as you could and then you used your hand to provide extra sensation.

As he got closer to the edge, you bobbed your head up and down on him faster, he bucked his hips, his toes curling, head thrown back, he was in his own little heaven "Mmm I'm going to cum mommy yess.. please don't ever stop . gonna cum so good" you squeezed his balls as you looked at him, he was trying so hard to hold back for you, you didn't give him the permission yet "Cum for me kitten, let mommy feed on you hmm" you put him in your mouth again and he let go instantly, your mouth filled with his cool creamy cum.

You swallowed every little drop and then you looked at him, he's a sight to see, you crawled up to him, his cock flaccid and soft now, you placed your arms on either side of his head, he smiled as he looked at you. "can I leave the headboard now and grab your neck instead so I can kiss you?" He asked you and you nod in no " but you look so pretty like this kitten" you leaned down to kiss him and he wrapped his arms around you and flipped you over "I love you princess" you giggled as you heard him and pulled him in for a kiss "I love you too kitten"

And then he made the softest sweetest love to you as he whispered what you mean to him and that he loves you so much. When he finally made you cum around him, he cleaned you up, and then he laid next to you sideways, and propped himself on his elbow, hand supporting his head as he kept his eyes on you "I'm scared lo" you mumbled and he pulled you into him with his other arm "Don't be princess, I'm here okay? And they can't hurt me or kill me so if you're stressing your pretty little head over it, I would advise you otherwise"

You rubbed your fingers over his cheeks, his hair has gotten longer in last two years, almost reaching his shoulder, you pushed his hair back from his shoulder to his back, caressing him softly. Would you two ever get to live in peace? You always wondered. He was planning to fall asleep with you but then you both heard his phone ringing, it was thor so he picked it up. Thor asked him to come to the lounge immediately.

You both got dressed up quickly, thor didn't tell him why he was being called but you had a feeling it wasn't any good, when you reached the lounge with him it had all the Avengers along with thor and sif and fandral? And two other people you didn't recognise, what are they doing here. Your eyes met with fandral and you wanted to kill him right about now.

"what are they doing here?" Loki asked thor and he had a pained expression on his face, did something happen? "Loki, father has fallen into OdinSleep again, Asgard is in dire need of a king at present" Thor said to loki and his grip on your hand tightened "So you're leaving?" Loki asked thor and thor shook his head in no "I can't, mother wants you on the throne, father insisted before he fell asleep" Loki's eyes widened as he heard that, Odin wants him on the throne? It must be some new pretense to lure him there, to get him away from you.

"Why would he want that?" He asked thor and thor looked at sif "Allfather believes that Prince thor is not fit to be a king yet, and he wants to hand-over the reign to you, he wants you to accept this, queen frigga demands your utmost presence my liege" she bent down on one of her knees as she offered him a spear? Is it a spear? Loki looks at thor and he nods his head in approval. He let go of your hand and you looked at him, shocked, your eyes widened as he grabbed the spear, is he considering this? This must be some sort of trap right? Is he going to leave you here?

"Very well then, I accept his gracious offer" he proclaimed and everyone gasped, including sif and fandral was shocked to say the least. You were so confused, they were not expecting him to say yes so easily "My king" you saw fandral and others bending down, a sign of respect probably, loki waved his fingers and he was in his Asgardian attire, with horns and everything, with an expression on his face you couldn't read, all of a sudden he looked ..truly like a king? A handsome young sexy king. Maybe it's not the time to think about that. What's going to happen to your relationship now? Is he going to leave you again? Your heart raced with every passing moment.

"God damnn" nat exhaled as she saw loki transforming, honestly you would too if you were not utterly confused by the sudden change of events "A king" he looked at the staff intently, his lips puckered as if he was thinking of something "Needs his Queen" he turned to you and your eyes widened. No no no, he's not going to do that is he, no right?

He bent down on his knee as he made the staff disappear and a ring appeared instead and you gasped so loudly and everyone else did too.

"Would you accept to be the new queen of Asgard, my love?" He asked you and you teared up, you were shocked and confused and excited? Not about the queen part though, about being his wife, but maybe this is not a marriage proposal right, maybe they have a ritual on asgard or something or it's just something else. Are you dreaming?

"Will you marry me?"

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki friggason

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