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thanks-mike-stamford · 3 years

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Fics that inspire my writing - Part II

This is Part II. Read Part I or Part III

Continuing the discussion, I grouped these fics together for something they have in common: author style! It was actually a bit hard choosing them because they are all written by authors who have a distinct style. Something in them that makes you recognise the author right away, that makes you think - oh yes, definitely is a story from this person. When you have a bunch of stories with the same kind of feel, it's hard to choose one to illustrate my point. Tip is: binge read the authors below!

Part II

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii Back when there wasn't even s2 yet I was already reading stuff from this author. I absolutely love their fics. This one is super interesting, a Good Omens fusion book version - beyond numerous screaming posts on the internet I'm not really familiar with this universe.

Something I like in all their fics and it's worked beautifully in this one is that there's more than it seems under the surface. The characters are not an open book even to the reader, and the narrator (close Sherlock POV) doesn't give all the information. The narrator sometimes doesn't even explain the information we are given. The facts are presented piece by piece, building the layers of a character, making it clear that even if right now, for this story, it's not relevant, this person is a complex human being (or angel. Or demon) that doesn't exist solely for the purpose of the plot. Two factors help with this: the non-linear narrative, that permits we only know a part of someone when it becomes relevant; and the sort of omniscience of Sherlock. I say sort of because yes, he's a demon and he has access to the core of someone. He's able to fish for stuff that happened in someone's life and how they feel about that as a way to build their vulnerability to sin. However, this is not necessarily mind-reading or future prediction. He makes deductions based on the soul, let's put this way. But because he can't use it to predict exactly what is going to happen, he still gets surprised. Because the characters are layered, they are able to be consistent with what we know and yet unexpected, up until the end.

The combination of giving powers to the narrator and using non-linearity is brilliant, working to enhance the themes behind the plot, which are about the complexity of the human soul. I'm working on a WIP that has similar themes and I try to play with these aspects to make it smooth like this story, instead of a philosophical essay using voices of characters. I've tried the non-linear narrative in a published fic, but it didn't have the same level of success in serving the story. Let's see if it goes better when I try again.

What It Is by toyhto This author has two main things going on in their fics: the type of angst that makes you question yourself, and the type of humour that is not really about trying to make you laugh, it's a very weird type of humour. I love weird stuff.

This fic is not Toyhto's best angsty one or best humourous one, but it's one that creates a good mix of both, like a tragicomedy (but without a tragic ending). You have John not knowing how to feel about Sherlock, and Sherlock gambling possibilities on how to fix the situation. It's the narrative that fascinates me. The story keeps its cards close, the reader is often a bit uncomfortable, a bit wrong-footed. You don't know where the story is going (hell, sometimes you don't even know where a scene is going), so you keep hanging up until the end. There's an underlying panic in how characters interact, but it's never hysterical, it's never loud or obnoxious. And then you find yourself snorting in situations that shouldn't have been funny. Life is usually not one genre or the other, so why literature should be? I love that the story never tries to be something (sad, funny, intriguing), and yet it is. It's not easy to pull something like this.

I have a WIP currently on my drive folder where I try to play with this tragicomedy narrative thing. This fic inspires me in trying to keep the reader on their toes all while looking effortless.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords DiscordantWords has been out there since 2016 showing how there's more than a way to fix canon. In fact there are multiple ways. This is the author you want to go if you watch the show and think eeh this should have gone a different way. There's probably a story in here which takes the same premise you thought about.

This one is just too incredible. Because it picks up right from a crucial point in canon and said - ok, what if everything still happened, but they actually make sense? For this story consistency is key, and if canon gave us a John Watson making bad decisions while nursing an unreliable brain work, that's what you get. But make it make sense! This is what happens when you are on a roll of bad decisions, this story tells me. This is what happens when you're isolated from what before kept you on track. This is what happens when on top of everything your mind is playing you tricks: they don't just stop because you decided to. That's not how it works. This story acknowledges the bad stuff, but to fix them it doesn't propose miracles, and it definitely doesn't ignore them. We get the consequences but we also get the process of change that is necessary for things to be good once again. Like John says: there's a difference between wishing something happened differently and wishing it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, so now what?

Make it canon divergence but character consistency and twist it to fix it, it's what inspires me in this fic.

The Ancillus's Tale by Chryse I reiterate that everything by Chryse is a must, but everyone that follows me on twitter had to deal with me constantly gushing about their most recent work for months, so it will be this one here. I just have a lot of feelings about this fic. Oh, yes, omegaverse again, inspired by The Handmaid's Tale.

The one aspect that comes to my mind when I think about Chryse's works is dark themes. If I want to read about fucked up stuff happening, I will go to them. And this particular fix has fucked up stuff from the first to the last chapter. And it's very immersive: you get inside the head of whoever is POV at the moment, Sherlock or John. You get their physical reactions, their thoughts, you know what they know. And the world building is on point: detailed enough that is totally credible, you can see reality becoming that way, but it's not described to exhaustion. We are presented the info about what we need to know, and rest is there, somewhere at your peripheral vision where you know it exists but it doesn't become a nuisance to the plot. But more important than that, it's how the dark themes are treated. It's never on black or white situations, surprisingly, despite the universe setting. The characters especially - they are allowed to have conflicted feelings, they are allowed to misbehave even if they are supposed to be on the good side, they have nuance and complexity. And the cherry on top: just because it has a dark premise, it doesn't mean it can't have a super satisfying happy ending that even brings comfort to the soul after letting it being hurt. We get snippets of comfort, the promise it's going to happen all along the fic, to compensate the extreme suffering the characters are going through. It's glorious.

I have been toying with the idea of writing something on the dark side. In fact my next multi chapter is super fucked up (but as always, with the certainty of a happy ending), and I hope it can see the world soon. I'm writing with this premise in mind: characters are allowed to have conflicted feelings, and they are allowed to misbehave, that won't make them the bad guys.

This was part II! If you missed part I, just click here. Part III is up!

#johnlock #sherlock fanfic #hoverseas talks about fic

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 31

First time reader click here

it's a mental breakdown *off-key kazoo*. One (1) incident of physical abuse from a parent. And Stephen Strange arc begins opening. Kind of angsty, but more of a filler chapter to resolve the parents-suck thing.

A couple of days was all it took for me to get back on my feet... Figuratively speaking. Neither Bruce nor Tony was particularly excited about me being up and about, I was carried to my desired destination point by one or the other on most occasions. Physically, my body grew tired very easily - I took a lot of sporadic naps throughout the day, more often than not falling asleep in someone's arms. Nobody minded, really - even Loki, who wasn't a touchy-feely person by any means, relented and acted as a body pillow for me when we crashed on the common room couch to catch up with the TV show episodes I'd missed.

Tony was very obviously on the verge of a nervous breakdown. During the few hours I had spent being chased by the Cursed Box Demon in my nightmares, all the leads towards the contractor proved to be cold. Natasha was the most irritated of them all - a late-night talk with Clint through the vent above my room revealed that she took it as a personal insult, unprepared for a simple merc to be so good at evading the world's most notorious spy.

Hulk kept taking over Bruce's body - eyes shining fluorescent green - at the times we were together, periodically clutching me to his chest with clumsy but careful movements. I pitied the mercenary should he encounter my gentle scientist - I didn't think Bruce would even attempt to hold back Mean Green. They seemed to have achieved some sort of symbiosis those days, switching between the two personalities in one body almost effortlessly. Circumstances aside, I was very happy that the tension and the persistent internal conflict inside Bruce had almost disappeared.

What made me upset was Strange. The sorcerer was behaving, well, strangely. He began avoiding all of us - his excuses of helping the search for the merc were flimsy, and Wong's long, deep sigh, when asked about the sorcerer's state of mind, spoke volumes. I suspected Stephen was either seething with anger or drowning himself in the sea of guilt; I had a hunch he was similar to Tony in a way that he hid his vulnerability behind an impenetrable wall of malice and sarcasm and dry wit.

Perhaps I was wrong. But the pent up frustration resulting from the conflict between my overactive brain and my uncooperative body had to blow - and my mother was the fire to my already short fuse. Somehow, she got ahold of the information that I was hurt indirectly because of the actions of the Avengers - and she had called the first available phone she found, which meant Pepper Potts got an earful of vitriol regarding Stark Industries, SHIELD, Tony, and everyone else, including my father. Stoic as she was, Pepper took it all with grace, replying politely to my mother until she hung up on the redhead.

Pepper placed an urgent call to Coulson immediately after that, making the already uncomfortable situation spiral into something truly disgraceful. It ended with strict orders for me to return home - not that anyone besides me and Coulson knew about it. I was a legal adult, I could choose to stay in the tower and my mother was told so on numerous occasions... Knowing her, I was well aware she wouldn't be above storming Tony's home with a small army of her lawyer friends.

Inwardly seething, melting with the anger sitting in the pit of my stomach like a sharp piece of ice, I managed to convince Tony to have Happy escort me home at the guise of gathering more necessities. Tony, being Tony, offered me to buy anything and everything I needed, but relented under my puppy-eyed pleading. It was getting harder and harder to lie to any of my men, the weight of it settling unpleasantly bitter on top of my already foul mood.

Happy grumbled in displeasure at being tailed by a nondescript black SUV - I knew SHIELD would have eyes on me 24/7 now, at least until they catch the rogue mercenary - but seemed to be happy at my general state of relative wellness in his own... Happy... way. Five-second side-grin and "Glad you're up and about, Princess," was probably the most I was going to get from the man who's nickname contradicted his personality. In my humble opinion, he should've been called Brick instead. He was built like a shit house, too.

The moment I stepped into the living room, wearing Wanda's spare sweats and Tony's hoodie, I took a slow look around the room and immediately knew this was it. Most of my anger had receded, courtesy of finally being able to get out of the tower and do something, but the ice in my stomach persisted. The smell of whiskey and cigarettes hit me like a wall, news playing on the TV doing very little to dissolve the viscid, tense silence.

"Sit down," My mother instructed me in the tone of voice she used on people in the courtroom - convicts, people who knowingly broke NDAs.

"I don't think so," I replied, refusing to give in to her bullying. I was being absolutely reckless, I knew it, and still it didn't stop me from standing up for my men. Logically speaking, it could have happened to me anyway, Avengers or not. The cursed box came along long before I'd even met Peter Parker or any of his rag-tag superhero friends.

"Fine," She turned around, steely eyes leveled on me. I was but a speck of dirt under her nails - for the first time in my life, I felt terrified of my mother. I knew what she was capable of. "Listen well, daughter of mine. I'm going to only repeat myself once," She started in that deceptively calm tone of hers. "You are to stop mingling with Stark and his... Company. Immediately. I do not want to hear any more of that Parker boy, either. You will not destroy your future and our family's legacy over some fling with a man twice your age. This little game has gone long enough and it's time for you to get back to reality."

The more she spoke, the higher my eyebrows rose. I was supposed to take orders from my own mother now? Something thin, something thin and crackling with electricity within me just snapped - like a live wire. The hairs on my nape stood up, goosebumps appearing all over my skin. "And what if I do not?" I asked, just as quietly.

I was not prepared for her reaction. One second, she was sitting on the couch and the other - my cheek was burning and my mother was standing over me, breathing the stench of alcohol and tobacco right in my face. I saw the whites of her eyes. "Then you are no daughter of mine. I did not raise you to be someone's cumrag and all this play-pretend scientist shit had to have ended in middle school. I hoped you'd grow up but apparently, you insist on being a baby," She was full-on screaming in my face, so rabid she was shaking.

All I could think of was... How wrong she was. How wrong she would be, her sad little world broken when she finds out just exactly how much I'm capable of. Long gone were the days where I timidly questioned my scientific contributions; thanks to my men - the same men she'd hated so much - I knew my value. I knew I could achieve the things that I wanted.

"If that is your choice, you have thirty minutes to get your shit and get lost. I will not have a whore of a daughter living under my roof," I had missed a good part of her rant; most likely, it consisted of nothing but meaningless insults anyway. After she'd finished, she gave me a shove towards the stairs.

It didn't bother me as much as it should, I think. My cheek smarted and somewhere deep inside, I knew that the eerie calm that had settled over me wasn't normal - on the surface, I felt only relief. The things I suspected all along, finally came to light - she didn't even perceive me as a human being, I was no more than a means to her end. A tool. A thing.

The waterworks started when I frantically shoved most of the shit I could fit in my three suitcases. Upset as I was, my scatterbrain did me a favor that time and I gathered most of the important things. Notebooks full of my research - projects that my mother had called a child's game, projects that could be patented in a week, add a tweak or two. With sudden clarity, I realized I needed none of her money. None of her... At all. In short, I was emotionally all over the place and at the end of it... None of it made sense.

I threw the credit cards with her name on them on the coffee table as I hauled out my suitcases, not sparing the bitch a glance. She was equally quiet, boring into my back with those steely eyes of hers. I felt my skin peel under her stare. In my distraught state, hauling and dumping the suitcases in my car was quick work. Detaching the house key and tossing the last things that connected me to her house on the floor at her feet was a spur of the moment decision; my mother was right, to some extent, and I still had childish tendencies. "You had no right to call yourself my mother in the first place. All you were was an egg donor with more money than you could make sense of. Enjoy your hoard, you damned dragon," I seethed, seeing her frozen in place with her arms crossed and chin held high.

Some part of me hoped she would apologize. That naïve, childish part - I knew my mother and I knew myself, and the trait that we shared was stubbornness. I sped out of the estate without ever looking back, driving aimlessly for a while until the honking coming from drivers around me began reaching alarming levels of volume; tears began flowing down my face at some point, all but obscuring my vision. I parked in the nearest place I could find, in front of a Waffle House out of all places.

Crying in a Waffle House parking lot, how pathetic was that. Logically, I knew at least five people had my back: Tony and Bruce, who surprisingly loved me back; Loki, who had become strangely clingy after my declaration - clingy in the best way. Together with Wanda and Peter, they made my heart warm and my eternally racing brain feel calm and safe.

I called my dad, he didn't pick up. I don't know what I expected of the man, but any and all remnants of my respect for him shattered, breaking into tiny little pieces as I helplessly banged my fists against the steering wheel in a fit of desperate rage. One look in the mirror and my already ashen complexion was made worse by red, puffy eyes and the blooming bruise on my cheek where my mother had slapped me. It was the first time she'd laid a hand on me; I wanted to throw up.

I sat in the car until my breathing slowed; completely and utterly clueless as to what to do. I had no home of my own, three suitcases worth of clothes and research that was useless without a lab to run experiments in, my car, and a small trust fund in my name. The recent incident with the curse box had left me mentally drained as it was, now, I could surely say that my head was empty: no thoughts.

And throughout it all, Stephen's avoidance crossed my mind. As if the self-loathing wasn't enough, as if my own blood, the people who were supposed to care for me, rejecting and ignoring me wasn't strong enough of a blow... The sorcerer's avoidance raised more anger within me. I didn't know why but the thought of him made me want to cry and seethe once again.

Logic gone out of the window, I typed in the Sanctum's address into my GPS with shaking fingers, figuring that if he wasn't willing to do the legwork, I will come to him myself and clarify things for all at once. The mixed signals were just a cherry on top of my sky-high problem sundae.

I banged on the door and it flew open immediately, a surprised sorcerer quickly turning concerned and panicky, noticing my general state of appearance. I was still wearing the same clothes and my hair was in disarray, my face looking somewhere between a coke bender and a manic episode.

"You," I stated darkly, taking a deep breath. "You need to tell me what the fuck is wrong with me and reject me, so I can move on already. And you," I poked the man in the chest, right above the fancy eye-shaped necklace, "Need to stop it with the mixed signals. Stop wallowing in self-pity. Whatever you are doing, STOP IT," My voice involuntarily raised in pitch from all those emotional rollercoasters I've been on that day. "Get back to being normal. Let me fucking live," I finished my tirade as the man stared at me, frozen and open-mouthed.

"I..." He stammered, eyeing me with concern. "What in the multiverse happened to you? What..?" He was so confused, pulling out his phone the moment I bailed my fists.

"My mother threw me out, my father doesn't give a fuck about me, apparently I'm a cheap whore with delusions of grandeur. You're avoiding me and everybody is waiting for me to blow up," I screeched, all but vibrating in my spot. "This is me blowing up. I want answers!" I demanded.

Strange recoiled from me, frowning and pocketing his phone. A deep sigh left him, the kind that made his whole body sag. He ran a careful hand through his hair before looking away and slowly pulling me against his chest, the door shutting behind me and keeping the cold out. I hadn't even noticed I was freezing; my feet were wet from the NYC winter slush and mud.

Stephen's embrace was warm and tender; I wanted to lean into it and push him away at the same time. I was so messed up, it was embarrassing. There was nothing acceptable about this situation - I felt guilty as soon as his face fell.

"Jesus Christ, baby," He mumbled quietly. "Sounds like you had one hell of a day. Let's go, I'll put on some tea," He rubbed soothing circles on my back, something that confused me - I just had stormed in and dumped a bucket of bile right on top of his head.

"I should go," I mumbled, yet had no real strength to move away from him.

"You're not going anywhere. I suppose I need to explain myself, too," He sighed, and despite his obvious discomfort, picked me up, letting my limbs to wrap around his torso like a monkey. I was careful to keep my weight off his hands, even if the trip to the fireplace room was short. As soon as I was placed onto the couch and my shoes were removed, Cloaky drifted over from a dark corner, urging me to take off my soggy hoodie, and wrapped itself tightly around me.

Turns out, semi-sentient cloaks were quite warm.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

#party favours #bun writes #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x y/n

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corrupt-fvcker · 4 years

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Boba Fett Fluff Alphabet

Fluff / Relationship Alphabet ( Boba Fett x fem!Reader )

Warnings: fluff overload, NSFW themes, unedited writing, boba fett deserves a warning of his own

Word Count: 5.1K

Author's Note: i was going to write an nsfw alphabet for boba but then i realized that writing a fluff/relationship alphabet would be 100x harder because he's about as emotional as a brick. maybe an angsty brick, but a brick nonetheless. psa, i wrote this at 2am so it might be a little crazy.

A is or Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?): So let's get one the thing straight, Boba's the best bounty hunter in the entire galaxy during the reign of the Galactic Empire. His success rate is unchallenged by any of his so-called competitors and even the most dangerous quarry doesn't stand a chance against Boba Fett. But here's the catch, you don't become the best by sitting around. Free time? Yeah, that's essentially nonexistent aboard the Slave I. So it makes sense that he met his girlfriend through his job. Boba has originally hired you to work as a mechanic for the Slave I, because after one too many power outages in the middle of an asteroid field with a hull full of quarries — Boba vowed to never leave a planet without a mechanic on board again.

So even if designated free time isn't necessarily a thing aboard the Slave I, there are peaceful times in between quarries that offer you some along time with Boba. And even if Boba's adamant on staying focused on bounty hunting, sometimes he'll let his guard down just enough for you to get the attention you're craving.

But just because there isn't enough time in his day to spend hours alone with you, don't think that Boba would neglect your needs. If you need someone to lay with you because you're feeling especially anxious and lonely, Boba will settle down beside you on your shared cot. Sure, he might grumble something under his breath that doesn't quite register through his vocoder and his sigh might be absolutely royal, but he'll lay down with you as lon as you want because Maker forbid you go looking for affection elsewhere. And if you need someone to listen to your rants or a shoulder to lean on, Boba will offer his shoulder and mediocre listening skills to you dutifully. Because even if he's the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, he has to remind himself that he's also your boyfriend. And yeah, he'll make mistakes but he's going to try his best to be there for you.

Now what does Boba like to do with you once you're both finally able to catch your breaths in between quarries? He likes to fuck. Which may only add to his extreme symptoms of exhaustion, but he just can't help himself.

B is for Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?): Physically, Boba really likes your legs. He loves the way your ankles crisscross against his lower back with your wrap your legs around his waist, desperately holding onto him. While working on the ship you were baggy grease-stained trousers, but once those come off? Fuck, Boba's done for. He can't help but trace every curve of your legs, yearning to kiss and lick up from your calves to your thighs. Don't even try wearing short dresses or mini skirts around him, he'll tear the fabric off of you like a kid opening Christmas presents before you can even get a word in.

Now beyond physical beauty, Boba really admires your compassion. It's a rare trait, Boba's figured this out the hard way. You're incredibly strong and Boba knows that you can handle yourself, but you've got this soft heart that Boba's adamant on protecting. You're kind and understanding, you aren't quick to judge or hate even when you should. You're also stubborn to a fault, which Boba shouldn't find as endearing as he does. You're the only person in the entire galaxy that he's met that's more stubborn than himself — so of course he ends up falling in love with you.

C is for Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?): Like I said, Boba's a busy guy, being the best takes a lot of time and energy. But don't ever think that he doesn't have enough time for you. Even if there isn't enough time in the day, he'll be sure to make the time for you. If you're feeling particularly sad or stressed, Boba will be there for you. Admittedly, he's not the best at the whole emotions thing, but he'll try. And he's still learning how to be all soft 'n sweet for his girlfriend, but he'll always try his best for you. He'll do whatever you need — yes, even if that means putting a pause on his job for a few hours. He wouldn't admit that he enjoys holding you but he reluctantly does enjoy it very much. He'll try his very best to keep his surly deposition in check, making sure to be extra kind to you if you're feeling down. And yes, he's learned this the hard way (he'll never comment on his squeaky pilot's seat that he asked you to fix when you're on your period again for as long as he lives). And if you're all teary-eyed he will trying his kriffing best to be supportive about whatever's gotten you so upset, even if crying makes him very, very uncomfortable. He will be extremely tense the entire time he holds you as you cry into his chest but he won't make any remarks and he will not pull away even if he wants to lock himself in the cockpit.

D is for Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o?): Honestly, Boba's not entirely sure. He's been a bounty hunter his life whole, it's all he really knows. He didn't necessarily plan on falling in love and he most certainly didn't plan on having dreams of a domesticated life fill his head when he sleeps. Boba Fett thought he'd never be caught dead dreaming about settling down on some outer rim planet with the love his life. He didn't think his mind wander as he sits alone in the cockpit, thinking about it the two of you would ever marry. He didn't think he'd secretly crave a little house and a family to fill the rooms. But suddenly he is thinking about all those disgustingly domestic things and he's not revolted at the idea of having a family, he actually kinda wants one.

So yeah, Boba's not entirely sure of what your future together is going to look like, but as long as you're together he figures you'll be alright.

E is for Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?): Nobody has ever — in all his years of life — used the word passive to describe Boba. It's like oil and water, they just don't mix. Boba likes control, he calls the shots because he really only trusts himself to call them. And even after the two of you finally get together, Boba's not passive. Softer maybe. Or perhaps kinder. But not passive. Whether it be out in public, in the privacy of the Slave I, or beneath the sheets, Boba's the dominant one in your relationship. And it certainly doesn't help that he's technically your boss. If he needs his squeaky pilot's chair fixed you are kinda obligated to fix it. But even outside of your so-called professional relationship, he calls the shots. It took months to convince him to allow you to ride him, but even with you on top, he was somehow still in control. You're not entirely sure if Boba being a perfectionist is accurate but— who the hell are you kidding, yes, that's exactly what Mister The-Best-Bounty-Hunter-In-The-Galaxy is. He likes the control he has whenever he's in a position of authority, it's a feeling of stability that the life of a bounty hunter lacks. But even if he's more dominant in your relationship than you are, he'll never neglect your wishes. He always makes sure that your basic needs are being met and that you're comfortable.

F is for Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?): Being a bounty hunter is... stressful. Most arguments between the two of you are petty and avoidable, like you don't really need to argue about who's the better pilot (but you do). Genuine arguments are a rarity, mainly because the two of you are both too busy and too tired to pick fights that are going to last longer than two or three minutes. But every once in a while, all hell in unleashed upon the Slave I and thank the Maker the quarries are all frozen in carbonite because they'd be widely for a bolt if they heard the two of you going at it. There are few topics that Boba and you argue about that actually matter. Namely, safety and (the dreaded) emotions. Like I said, Boba tries real hard to be a supportive and loving boyfriend, but sometimes he just doesn't make the cut. And sometimes he's just, well, an asshole and you're about two seconds away from kicking his green ass out into space. Though as your relationship evolves, these arguments grow less and less common.

Though the topic of safety is always very much present aboard the Slave I. Boba's job is dangerous and a small mistake can have major consequences if you're both not careful. And you understand that, but that doesn't mean you don't get a little annoyed with him. He's a little overbearing (a perfectionist, if you will). Boba has this list. A great, big, long list filled with rules that must be followed when both on and off the ship. And you find that the closer you and Boba become, the more stricter these rules grow. And sometimes (usually) you slip up and break one or two (or three) rules, because sometimes it feels like you're walking on fucking ice with all these rules. But you really shouldn't break them because they're there specially for your safety, so when you break them, Boba kinda loses his shit. It usually starts as a yelling match and it usually ends with a silent treatment from both parties. And more often than not, Boba is the one that has to apologize because you're more stubborn than him and he's also usually the one in the wrong.

After the conflict had been resolved, it can end in one of two ways. Firstly, you and Boba can lay together 'n cuddle because that's both relaxing and reassuring that you both love each other. Or secondly, you can have rough make up sex because that's also both relaxing and reassuring that you both love each other.

G is for Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?): Boba may not be the best at expressing his gratitude, but he really is appreciative of everything you do for him. He's not the best with words, he can never think of the right thing to say at the right time unless it's some snark comment that will make you roll your eyes. He tries his best to show you how grateful he is of you, and he knows he can't solely rely on sex to express his gratitude (though you're not complaining). When he's feeling particularly grateful for having a girlfriend as wonderful as you, he tries his best to be extra sweet towards you. And it's the little things that count; asking you if you need anything while he's out, bringing you a snack while you work on the ship, cleaning up after himself to make your life easier.

H is for Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?): Boba's a bit of an extremist when it comes to honesty. He'll either be painfully honest, speaking the truth with little regards to the fact that you may not like what he's saying. He doesn't like how you fixed the Slave I? Oh, you'll hear about it. Does he think that you're acting impulsive and reckless? Prepare for a lengthy lecture. Partially, you admire that he's willing to be so open with you, but on the other hand, sometimes you want to throw your shoe at his head.

But no matter what you'll always prefer Boba being brutally honest over lying. And Boba knows this, he won't let himself lie to you because he knows that it would only drive you apart. Though sometimes when the truth is little too ugly for someone as tender hearted as yourself, he'll opt to just not speak. Because what you don't know can't hurt you, right? Sometimes he'll forget to tell you that the quarry managed to graze him with a blaster bolt. Or he won't say anything when he sneaks out to go beat up the slimeball that tried to touch you at the cantina. He won't answer you when you ask him what's wrong because he doesn't want to burden you with the fact that it's been exactly twenty years since his father died.

So yes, if the truth is ugly enough, he'll protect you from it but he'll never straightout lie to you.

I is for Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?): Boba's rough around the edges, you knew this before anything slightly romantic conspired between the two of you. He's sharp and quick-witted and incredibly stubborn — it's his way or the highway, and no he's not accepting criticizing because he surely knows better than some mechanic. His brutal honesty usually comes out in sarcastic retorts that are a little more personal than he intends them to be. He doesn't like sharing his thoughts, he'll never speak unless he haves to which makes being part of his "crew" increasingly difficult. He's a bachelor too, enjoys venturing into dingy cantinas and have the bartender suck him off in the refresher.

But again, you knew all this way before you ever thought twice of how ridiculously sexy he probably looks beneath his bucket. And once the two of you actually get together, Boba realizes that he's going to need to change his questionable habits if this is ever going to work out. He figures out that, yeah, expressing his feelings kinda completely sucks, but saying what's on his mind is easier than making you worry that you've done something wrong. He also knows that he can't take your affection for granted, he needs to cherish your soft heart because he'd never forgive himself if he's the reason it breaks. Admitedly or not, Boba loves you and he knows that he needs to learn how to be better so that you can be together.

J is for Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?):

Boba never thought he'd be the jealous type, but that was partially because he's never really had someone to be jealous over. Relationships are new to him, which consequently means so is the jealousy the churns his stomach when strangers' stares linger in your direction for longer than he's comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, Boba trusts you to save your affection for him and him only. But he can't help but lose his temper when people approach you at bars like his hand isn't already resting on the small of your back.

K is for Kissing (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?): For someone that has worn a helmet over his head for the majority of his life, Boba's kissing skills are a little too advanced. When you first started working for him, you had always assumed that if something did actually happen between the two of you, Boba would be an inexperienced kisser.

Well, apparently you couldn't have been more wrong. Because as Boba's gloved hand grabs by the nape of your neck and pulls you swiftly into his chest, you start to think that maybe you're the one that's in over their head. And you're suspicions are proven true as soon as his lips are on yours and his hot tongue dips into the cavern of your mouth.

L is for Love Confession (how would they confess to their s/o?): Being the stubborn idiots the two of you are, both of you beat around the bush for quite some time. Surprisingly, Boba fell in love with you a lot faster than anticipated (which fucking terrified him). So when he's watching you stargazing in the cockpit and the three dreaded words nearly slip from his tongue, he nearly haves a heart attack because he wasn't supposed to fall in love with you at all. The original plan was to remain business partners with benefits (which he should've known wouldn't last), but now it's only been two months since your first kiss and he's already preparing to spend the rest of his life with you.

Unsurprisingly, the confession slips from his lips during an argument — not some petty disagreement, but one of your infamous safety arguments. And thank the Maker he was wearing a helmet because fucking tears were lining his eyes and his heart was trying to rip out of his rib cage as he tells you how immature you're being for leaving the ship while he's out after a quarry. And once the three words leave his lips, he quickly realizes that he can't take them back. You look like you've just seen a ghost — eyes wide and jaw slack — and you're not entirely sure of what you should say because you never thought in a million years that Boba Fett would ever love you. And the rest of the evening is blur from the shock of it but Boba swears on his life that your immediate response was a squeaked out"fuck off" because you thought he was toying with you.

But once the bandage was ripped off, saying I love you wasn't as scary as either of you thought it was going to be. It's not exactly a regular sentiment and it's never said with nonchalance, but you both know that you love each other and in special moments you mutter the sweet reassurance to one another.

M is for Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?): Boba's the most shocked of all when he realizes that, yeah, he likes the idea of marrying you. He cherishes the idea of you wearing a ring on your finger for the rest of your shared lives, a symbol of your love. And, fuck, he hates how cheesy it sounds but he just can't help himself. And he's not entirely sure of how to bring up the subject of marriage with you because you've never really expressed interest in getting married and your relationship shared no resemblances to a proper Mandalorian courtship.

But he eventually does propose (and yes, you almost pass out as soon as you turn to see him on his knee), and luckily you accept his proposal with the same smile on your face that makes him feel weak in the knees. There isn't a wedding but you both swap vows and that's all either of you could really ask for. And turns out being married to Boba isn't too different from dating him, except for that he's just a tiny bit more protective and somehow even a bit softer.

N is for Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?): "Sweet girl" - absolutely the softest and most adoring nickname he's given you, and definitely his favorite. And yes, he does notice how sheepish you get when he calls you his sweet girl.

"Kid" - it's definitely your least favorite out of all the names he calls you, which only means that he'll make an effort to call you it more often. He usually uses the endearment when you're being ridiculous, but always used when he's teasing you.

"Babe" - it's so incredibly nonchalant that it doesn't even fit his character, but one night it slips from his lips before he can think twice and it just kinda stuck.

O is for On Cloud Nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?) Boba's love for you is difficult for outside parties to notice, mainly because they're usually too concerned with the fact that a fucking Mandalorian is casually strolling through town. When Boba's in love he's just softer and he usually expresses his emotions through little actions because words are not his strength. Gently resting his gloved hand on the small of your back when he's feeling protective. Tightly gripping your thigh beneath the table when he's feeling jealous. Brushing a strand of hair from your face when he's feeling particularly captivated by your beauty.

P is for PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?): Boba prefers that whatever happens between the two of you stays between the two of you. You're his, he's yours — there's no need for a third party to be meddling in your personal business. It's very unlikely for anyone to even suspect that the you and Boba are in an intimate relationship unless Boba wants them to know. If the drunk at the cantina gets a little too flirty with you, they'll be the first to know that you are certainly spoken for. Boba's not one to indulge in PDA, he prefers the privacy of the Slave I. The ship is a safe space for Boba, he can remove his armor and weapons without having to worry when your touches distract him. He doesn't have to be on edge, he can relax and be with you.

Although Boba prefers to keep affectionate gestures aboard the Slave I, that's not to say that he will not fuck you thoroughly in an ally on Corellia or refresher on Tatooine...

Q is for Quirk (some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship): Boba's surprisingly good at reading people, which even though it's ultimately beneficial for your relationship, it can be really annoying. Because Boba's not exactly the easiest person to be vulnerable around, sometimes you find yourself keeping things from him. You choose not to tell him that your feelings are hurt or that you didn't sleep well the previous night. But it's always fruitless to try to hide something from your boyfriend. He just knows. Your slumped shoulders or fidgeting hands are dead giveaways. He's quick, he'll notice every flaw in your poker face before you even realize that he's looking at you (the visor makes that difficult). And in the beginning of your relationship, Boba wasn't exactly sure how to approach your (ew) feelings. But the longer the two of you are together, he learns that sometimes it's just easier to ask what's wrong than to let your moodiness build up and then explode like a broken dam (his thoughts not mine).

R is for Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?): Boba is about as romantic as a brick (Maker, apparently I really like comparing this green booger to a brick). He doesn't even really try to be romantic because he already knows that he's going to just kriffing suck at it. He knows about all the cliché stuff but he thinks all that is just bullshit and he hopes — for his sake — that you do too.He will not serenade you because he thinks music is just excess noise and he will not buy you one hundred roses because they'll just wither up and die. But just because he's not Mr. Romance doesn't mean that he'll do just about anything to make you happy. He might complain the whole time, but he'll do whatever he needs to do if it means you'll love him forever. He might not serenade you but he will massage your feet and take you out to your favorite restaurant. He might not buy you one hundred roses but he will cuddle you in the morning and make you a cup of caf so that you can get an extra ten minutes of sleep.

S is for Support - (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?): Boba will always support you, no matter what. Does it feel like he's an amazing, supportive boyfriend? Uh... no, not all the time, it's admittedly one of his weaker spots. Boba's a bit of a pessimist and will tell you just about everything that'll illogical in your dream, but once you shoot him the glareTM he'll shut up. So just know that he is supporting you and your dreams, even if he's a grumpy asshole. Though he's lacking the trait of being verbally supportive, he does do everything in his power to help you achieve your goal. Will he complain? Probably. But he'll continue to push you until you achieve your goal.

T is for Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?): Boba's life is already filled with thrill, getting shot at all day is enough for him to want to unwind once he's work day is complete. Every single day is different with Boba, neither of you ever really know what you're getting into. But between the two of you exclusively? There's some sort of routine. Boba's job is usually an all-day affair, so the only time reserved specifically for you is in the morning and at night. Your routine is relatively simple: cuddle in the morning, cuddle at night. What happens between those two points of time is completely random and up to the universe.

U is for Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?):

Just because Boba can read you doesn't necessarily mean that he understands you. The two of you are very different people. Emotions? Over his head. Girl stuff? Don't even bother. Hobbies? His response was 'do you mean work?'. But Maker, he tries to understand you, he really does. He wants you to feel accepted and loved and important. He'll force himself to be empathetic and compassionate with you (even though he has absolutely no idea why your crying). Boba's a good listener, he'll take whatever you tell him to heart and try to piece together the rest.

V is for Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is it's worth in comparison to other things in their life?): Boba has trouble admitting that your relationship is everything to him. The bastard spends his entire fucking day thinking about you and all the things that remind him of you. And he knows he has it bad when he realizes that he'd quit bounty hunting if it meant making you happy. Fuck, he wants to settle down with you (that's a secret though). You are his everything, nothing in the entire universe compares to your love. And he absolutely hates how he's been reduced to some lovesick puppy, but that's what you've done to him and he wouldn't have it any other way.

W is for Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon): Boba secretly really wants to start a family with you. He'd have to quit bounty hunting and live on a secluded planet somewhere in the outer rim, but he thinks about becoming a father a little more than he's willing to admit. The thought of Clan Fett growing excites him more than you'd think. He likes the idea of having someone to teach everything he's learned, just like how his father had taught him. He finds himself wondering what your future children would look like. Would they get his dark hair and tan skin? Or would they resemble their mother? Would you have boys or girls or a mixture of both? How many would you have? Two? Three? Four? Would they follow his Mandalorian ways or would they be more like you? Would any of your children want to become bounty hunters or would they want to become mechanics like you?

X is for XOXO (are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?): In public, Boba's affection is microscopic. But in private he tries to show more affection towards you (he sometimes forgets that it's his job as your boyfriends). He would never admit to liking to kiss and cuddle but he really does. Without fail, every time he removes his helmet the first thing he does is kiss you. And cuddling? This boy will complain so much that you'd think that it's torture, but you're too smart for his bullshit. You know he loves holding you. Why else would his arms always find their way around your waist every night once he thinks you're asleep?

Y is for Yearning (how will they cope when they're missing their partner?): When Boba's away from you, he's one grumpy motherfucker. Which is saying something because he's always a grumpy motherfucker. And Maker pray for the poor quarry that's keeping him from you, he'll beat their ass a little more than usual just because of it. He get's quiet, saving all of his energy for when he finally gets to be with you. Manners? Out the window, fuck off everyone and everything isn't you. Boba's impatient on a good day, when he misses you he's always about two seconds from starting a fight.

Z is for Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?): Like I said, Boba would do anything for you. Willing he complain while doing so? Naturally, but he'll get whatever he needs to done to make you happy.

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Tags ( a million years ago I made a post and these were the people that liked it so sorry if you liked it accidentally :3 ): @linguistic-lovers @bubbles-in-autumn @pinkninja190 @beskar-boba @clairestrying @satan-incarnate-666 @waymorecake4me @dirty-dancefl00r5 @tinycollectivetrash @coffeeandtodd @arcadianempress @thesparkleslugs @the-silly-skeleton @greatermaguro @justrunamok

#boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett x you #reader insert #self insert #fanfic #fanfiction #relationship alphabet #fluff alphabet #boba fett fluff alphabet #corrupt-fvcker #my writing #fluff

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thejustmaiden · 4 years

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Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you!

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal?

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives.

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though!

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below.

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be.

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not. And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly!

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them.

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point.

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones?

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh.

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough.

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends?

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation.

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please.

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will.

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru #rin

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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i feel like jian yi uses emotion to influence zhan zheng xi's decision. when he talks about his sexuality he is either crying or on the verge of crying which i think softens zhan zhengxi's attitude towards him. i don't get people that are saying zhan zheng xi is demisexual and not interested in girls at all and when his only encounter with girls is xiao hui? who is his stalker. it is very natural for zhan zheng xi to dislike her. i feel like jian yi is very manipulative.

Good evening, dear anon-san!

Before we get any further, I got your another ask that it’s okay if I won’t answer your question. I’m not sure why you felt that way but you had gone through the big trouble of writing your thoughts, so I want to try and give you mine. Also, I don’t talk about Zhanyi too often, so I don’t want to pass chances when people give me a nudge to do so. Anyway, I hope you won’t mind I decided to answer your ask.

You had a lot of things to talk about, so I thought I would give my thoughts some structure by picking up some overall themes.

A bit of a TL;DR: I imagine your interpretation of Jian Yi’s character is very much of an unpopular opinion. And I’m afraid I won’t be agreeing with it very much because I have always read him and his relationship with Zhan Zheng Xi quite differently. That being said, though, I do want to applaud your courage to share your views with us. It makes me feel privileged that you feel comfortable enough with me to be open about your opinions.

Zhan Zheng Xi and Xiao Hui

Let’s start this with perhaps the easiest topic: XH having a crush on ZZX. It’s true she didn’t really hide her feelings for ZZX. She tried to muster up enough courage to deliver her confession letter many times and also approached him directly. However, it was clear ZZX was bothered and felt uncomfortable by her affections. (ch. 51, 52, 98, 99. 102, and 156)

She was quite persistent and forward, but I don’t think she deserves to be called a stalker. Not even close. I think we’re forgetting that middle school is that awkward time in life when it’s starting to be noticeable that girls develop faster than boys. Girls of that age can actually be very open about their crushes while boys feel embarrassed, bothered, and annoyed by them. Nor are boys really interested quite yet. I think that’s very much apparent in ZZX and XH’s case.

A short storytime. When I was in middle school (about 12-13 years old) I had the most intense crush on this boy in my class. My very soul was consumed by how much in love I was with him. And I had no problem being open about it, either; I gave him birthday and Christmas cards publically, forced him to write on my friends book, and overall was quite pushy with him. He never returned my passionate feelings but was rather annoyed, embarrassed and disgusted by them. After two years, my feelings passed. Was I a stalker, though? I don’t think so.

So, yes, it was very understandable and realistic for ZZX to be bothered by XH’s advances but I wouldn’t brand her as a “stalker” and make too direct conclusions about their relationship. Rather I think that’s how it usually goes in that age.

Jian Yi and Xiao Hui’s letter

Overall, JY was in a very difficult position when he found out about XH’s feelings for ZZX. On one hand, he was very much in love with ZZX, and it had been his most precious secret that he’s both wanted to confess and hide. Worst case scenario, his romantic feelings might end their childhood friendship or put them in a position where others could easily discriminate and bash them. On the other hand, XH’s advances put pressure on JY and painfully remind him that it’s not as simple for him to confess and be open about his crush. I have always sympathized with him because being in that position can be very painful and conflicting. (100, 101)

I mean, imagine someone asked you to deliver a confession letter to the person you have been in love with for years. Can you imagine how crushing that would feel? A big part of me, at least, would certainly think my crush was doomed. And it was obvious JY struggle between doing the right thing and doing what his heart wanted to.

When JY agreed to give ZZX her letter on the condition that she won’t come near him, I think that was the most manipulative JY got in that whole story (ch. 100):

And I don’t think even that was very successful. He told her to stay away but... what was the endgame? Was JY’s plan to make her believe he had given ZZX the letter and prevent her from finding out the truth by telling her to keep her distance? But at some point, she would have grown anxious and approached ZZX again, right? The truth would certainly have come out eventually.

I think he hadn’t thought it through at all but rather that “don’t come near him” plan was a desperate attempt to buy some time. I don’t see that as JY trying to isolate ZZX in a toxic way at all but rather him trying to prolong the inevitable. His feelings for ZZX never had the same promise of a future as XH’s feelings - and straight love, in general.

Also, let’s not forget that JY did end up giving ZZX the letter despite his own difficult position (ch. 102):

What ZZX said made him realize it wouldn’t be right for JY to decide things for him. He couldn’t advance his own goals that way and feel good about it. But at the same time, giving ZZX that letter put JY’s feelings at a big risk. Basically, JY came close to watching the person he loved returning someone else’s feelings. I’m not sure I could have done the same if I had been JY, and I bet many of us would have struggled to make up our minds, too. Would that make us toxic manipulators, though?

Xiao Hui’s letter exposed

XH’s confession letter being exposed to everybody was a messy situation for all parties. It exposed so many private and vulnerable feelings for anyone to see and make fun of. And usually, the more we want to protect something inside us, the stronger we react when it’s either exposed or poked at.

Even if I don’t really see JY worrying about ZZX’s reputation as a bad thing or something problematic, I have always wondered about that part (ch. 158):

It always seemed like an odd thing to worry about in that situation to me. But I suppose he just didn’t want ZZX to become the center of gossiping. People were making fun of the letter and both its writer and who it was addressed to. Again, romance is quite a tender topic at that age, especially publically. To be involved in those kinds of things - even involuntarily - would most probably put you in the kind of awkward position that you can never quite live down. So, yeah, even if my center of worries wouldn’t probably be protecting ZZX’s reputation, I still get where JY was coming from.

I also suppose JY didn’t want XH’s crush to be public knowledge because it made his situation that more difficult and an uphill battle. The rumors and gossips would stoke and contribute to the overall rhetoric that ZZX has a girlfriend or that he’s popular among girls. But again, I don’t really see that line of thinking as manipulative. I don’t think he was pretending to be sad or trying to provoke XH to make her look bad in ZZX’s eyes. I’m sure I would have felt somewhat the same in his situation, actually.

However, I do agree that readers (if that’s what you meant by “people”) were too eager to brand XH as a problematic homophobe and hate her guts. What she said was wrong and hurtful but still not that surprising (ch. 158):

She had been publically humiliated and her feelings had been made of by everyone. She was hurt and embarrassed, and when JY blamed her she lashed out and threw the easiest and most obvious insult she could think of. I don’t think it’s fair to judge her whole character based on one moment when she was so vulnerable and humiliated.

What comes to ZZX, I don’t think it was a case of him conveniently walking in when JY had been bashed by XH and him judging the situation wrongly (JY as the victim and XH the villain). The way ZZX handled the situation tells us that he could see behind the emotional escalation and recognized the pain both JY and XH were suffering (ch. 158 and 159):

He understood XH had poked a very vulnerable spot with her “disgusting gay” remark and why JY had gotten upset. Not long ago before the letter incident, he had seen how insecure JY was about his feelings for someone of the same sex and how scared he was of being rejected because of it. It was the last thing JY wanted people to talk about out loud but also where you could hurt him the most.

But ZZX also realized the situation XH was in and why she had lashed out. He was very gentle with her and treated her feelings with respect despite turning them down. He saw his own little sister in her, not a villain or a bad person. I’m sure his reaction would have been vastly different if he had thought XH was out to deliberately hurt JY.

Jian Yi’s orientation and manipulation

I can’t say I see JY using emotions to knowingly influence and manipulate ZZX’s decisions but I do think ZZX has an obvious soft spot for his best friend. It goes all the way back to their childhood when ZZX promised to protect him, and later JY’s special place in ZZX’s eyes is represented by the rhetoric of lifelong promises between them (ch. 97, 127, 159, 161, 169, 285):

To me, that’s pretty much the essence of ZZX’s character. He’s loyal, protective, and surprisingly comfortable being so caring. We can see him treat his little sister very similarly to how he treats JY. So, when he sees his best friend crying and thinking there’s something wrong with him because he’s different from others, it’s his second nature to comfort and reassure JY.

Overall, JY has talked about his orientation or feelings for ZZX three times in the comic so far in a way that has changed the course of the story. (If you wish to read more about how I see the Zhanyi storyline go check out my other earlier answer.) The most shocking and dramatic turning point for both of them was probably when JY’s feelings came to light for the first time (ch. 143):

I really can’t see JY being emotionally manipulative at that moment. I would say his reaction is more than understandable and realistic instead. I don’t know if you have ever had to come out to anyone about your sexual orientation, dear anon-san, but it’s always a nerve-wracking experience. I’ve told about my own bisexuality to my parents and best friend and it was insanely scary both times even if I was confident they wouldn’t have a problem with it. Despite everything, there’s always that little “what if” rattling in your head.

Now, multiply that by XXX and put yourself in JY’s raincoat. He was a teenage boy who had just kissed his lifelong best friend and couldn’t play it off as a joke. The more he tried to run and hide, the more the feelings he had buried for years poured out in a mess of tears and fragmented thoughts. I mean, we had read about how deep their friendship ran for 100+ chapters by then but I’m sure many of us were still nervous and unsure about how ZZX would react.

However, ZZX isn’t unable to set his limits even when offering comfort. I think that was apparent the second time JY’s feeling were addressed when JY was drunk and looking for something ZZX wasn’t ready to give him yet (ch. 165):

JY was genuinely very emotional and in a vulnerable place but ZZX had to reject him. I actually talked about that moment in one of my earlier answers because I have always found it interesting and complicated. JY was so insecure and afraid of ZZX rejecting him that he wanted to push the limits to find out how ZZX felt about him (both being in love with him and someone of the same sex). It almost seemed like he was tired of being anxious and kind of wanted to get it over with. But ZZX wasn’t quite there yet. He had expressed his support when it came to JY liking men but wasn’t ready for what JY was really feeling. Unfortunately, that meant he had to hurt the already vulnerable JY but the bottom line is, he did reject him. He might have a lot of affection for JY but he’s also very in tune with what he wants and isn’t ready for. That’s also a part of him being honest and loyal. If he had allowed JY to have his way, ZZX wouldn’t have been true to JY or himself.

The third and last time was when JY finally, officially confessed and - according to my interpretation - ZZX returned his feelings. Again, I don’t see JY being emotionally manipulative but there is one aspect that has always caught my attention (ch. 209):

JY says he likes ZZX so much he’s about to explode and whether it’s about their past or future, it’s always been and will always be about ZZX. This time JY’s fear of rejection manifests itself a bit differently, though. He kind of rejects his feelings himself before ZZX even says a word. He already knows ZZX isn’t happy about being loved by another guy and his best friend at that, so there’s no need for ZZX turn him down. Also, by seemingly shifting the goal of his confession (you won’t feel the same way but at least I finally said it) JY is protecting himself.

Could that behavior be taken as manipulation? I guess on some level, but I think it’s also a very natural and realistic reaction. It can be used to influence someone’s decisions but it’s also a defense mechanism. One that I - and I’m sure many others - can personally relate to very much. And I don’t see JY saying those things in that situation as a way to try and make ZZX feel sorry for him and return his feelings that way. This was the first time he was completely open and honest about his love for ZZX - confessing while looking straight into his eyes - so it’s no surprise he behaved defensively like that.

Also, I believe ZZX had already made up his mind about what his answer would be before he even asked the question. He had reached his resolve and was comfortable with it. All he needed was for JY to say the words out loud.

Jian Yi, Mo Guan Shan, and He Tian’s money

Okay, the last topics! This was something you only briefly mentioned but I felt like they supported your view on JY that already differed quite a lot from mine, so I thought I would give my two cents about these, too.

I think JY is exactly the kind of friend Mo Guan Shan desperately needed when he was falsely accused of assaulting that girl. In fact, JY is the kind of friend all of us should have: someone who won’t hesitate to stand up for us. Because I don’t think “anyone would have done the same thing” for MGS. Actually, that’s why She Li picked him as the scapegoat in the first place (ch. 178, 186, and 184):

Not only did SL take advantage of knowing MGS was a social outcast at school and people were prejudiced against him so no one would even doubt the things said about him but he also knew MGS didn’t have the kind of friends who would step in. He Tian most certainly was one of them, but so was JY the way he didn’t hesitate to barge into the office and loudly demand justice for MGS (ch. 185):

Let’s remember, when the assault case was going on HT, JY and ZZX were the only ones defending MGS. Not even the teachers seemed to think “innocent until proven guilty” or even entertain the thought that MGS might not have done it.

What comes to JY talking about HT having a lot of money (or being rich or poor in general), I think it’s just a part of him being cheeky and the kind of humor 19 Days has. JY’s character has this obliviously and unapologetically immature side that can be a bit annoying at first but soon becomes one of his most lovable features. I never took this side of him as an offense but rather him just being a 15-year-old boy among other teenage boys that will fire back just the same (ch. 258, 296, 298, 301, and 310):

JY doesn’t really have a filter and he likes to brag a little when, for once, he’s in that kind of position, but there’s no true malice in his words.

A few quick notes that I won’t get into deeper than this:

I don’t know about ZZX being demisexual but overall BL does seem to have this trend of making male protagonists fall in love with each other without identifying as LGBT. BL has been criticized for this because it’s a way to avoid talking about the fact that men who are attracted to other men are, in fact, gay (or bi). In many BL stories, the protagonists are portrayed as straight and them falling for a guy is just special circumstances and they’re gay for just that one guy. And while I don’t personally have a major problem with it, I can’t deny it feels a bit of a cop-out. Does Zhanyi fall into that category? On some level, I guess, but it’s also too early to say. The boys are just figuring out who they are as individuals, so JY, for example, identifying as gay might be said out loud one day. Don’t think that will ever happen in ZZX’s case, though.

I also don’t think JY is trying to isolate ZZX from other people. Now that he’s more secure regarding ZZX’s feelings for himself and their relationship, he’s even included XH to their group.

Phew!

Was that all? I think that was at least the most of it, if not all. If you think I skipped something or would like me to elaborate on something, let me know!

As I warned you in the beginning, I ended up disagreeing with the majority of your interpretation. Hopefully, I wasn’t too harsh with my wording or ways of putting things. Even if our views were pretty much the opposite to each other, your thoughts prompted me to look at JY’s character and Zhanyi from a new perspective. And that’s always a good thing. Thank you again for that opportunity and for sharing your interpretations with us, dear anon-san!

#zhanyi #Jian Yi #Zhan zheng xi #19 days #answered ask

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ramblingaboutthings · 4 years

Text

Hard | Draco Malfoy

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Word count: 3.5 kkkkkk LIKE WHAT?

Summary: here

A/n: this contains swear words, blood and a lot of mistakes, but I got so excited and got too carried away. I warn you, I changed A LOT of things and I'm kind of not sorry for that.

Also TUMBLR HERE decided to delete my draft and I had to correct it again so sorry if it sucks, it's 00:40 here and I'm going crazy.

It'd been a stressful day, you went to Hogsmeade and someone put some strange spell on a poor girl. No one really knew who did it. But everyone was getting strange vibes from it.

So he created some kind of project, once a month a student from each house was selected to move temporarily into another house, to avoid internal conflicts.

That night, was a special one for Hogwarts.

Dumbledore wanted the school to be united, every house had to say goodbye to rivalries.

And that day was one of those times, Dumbledore was going to announce who the lucky students were.

You at dinner, in the great hall, with your Hufflepuff friends.

"Hey Black, are you okay?" One of them asked, noticing you spacing out and only earning a death glare, as a response from you.

Those days, you'd been in a bad mood and the fact that your dad's died not so long before didn't help at all, he was everything she had.

And now he was gone, leaving his only child alone.

Sirius Black didn't even know he had a daughter until his high school girlfriend showed up at the Potter's door one night with a little girl in her arms, the love of Sirius' life, before disappearing.

He later discovered he wasn't your real father but he still loved you like he was. Then we all know what happened next.

He'd raised you until he was accused of homicide and taken to Azkaban.

You only got to see him for two years, after he escaped the prison.

And after they finally got to be in each other's lives again, Harry came up to her, one night, and told you he was dead. You were angry, sad, frustrated... not even a last goodbye, he was just gone. After that you simply locked yourself up in your room and got out only to go to class.

Until that day.

You hoped you could finally spend your next month away from the Hufflepuffs, they knew too much about you and you needed a fresh start.

They were good friends of course, but you wanted to be free for that whole month.

You glanced over the Gryffindor table to find Harry mirroring your sad look, but Dumbledore coughed to get your attention making you turn around quickly.

"Today, my dear students, if you're lucky enough, you'll be experiencing a new thing, you'll get to know other mentalities, other personalities so please listen here. For the slytherin house, Pansy Parkinson will go to the Gryffindors" a loud mix of groans erupted from the gold and red table, interrupted his speech. But he just ignored it.

"Hermione Granger, we all are aware of your intelligence, so you're staying with the Ravenclaws.

Miss Lovegood, you're staying with the Hufflepuffs" your table cheered, you all loved her.

Your smile faded when you realized, one of the Hufflepuffs was going to be a Slytherin for four whole weeks. And for some reason you knew for sure you were going to be that one.

"Miss Black, all your family comes from Slytherin witches and wizards so I thought you could try and understand what being one of them is really like" you groaned as your suspicion got real, and lowered your head while a dozen of people from the Slytherin table were clapping.

You gazed around your table only to find shocked faces, someone even glared at you.

'Fuck this' you thought before walking toward the Slytherins.

One of them, Deneb was her name, -you recognized her from divination class- called you from the table, and you were more than happy she did, because you two got along just great, and it would've been awkward sitting beside someone you didn't know.

"So, you're the new Slytherin uh? I'm glad it's you Y/n, come on sit down." She invited you.

You glanced around to study everyone's faces but they were like stone, no emotions.

You sat between Den and the most handsome boy you'd ever seen, Draco Malfoy, he'd grown up so much since you'd last seen him. But his signature smirk wasn't plastered on his face as usual, in it's place there was a thin line, his lips sealed in a neutral expression.

"Hey Malfoy" you greeted kindly.

"Shut up half-" he said harshly,interrupting himself trying to insult you.

"He's not been himself lately, usually he's not that bad, you all always judge him, but he's sweet with the people he fancies" Den explained, and you did believe her, because you saw the good in every person and he flooded with kindness. You noticed how his eyes sparkled before a quidditch match, his soft sneaky smiles that grew onto his face whenever he got a spell right. You knew he was a soft boy, he just liked to think that it made him weak so he covered it all up.

As you met his gaze you noticed his bright grey eyes were dark and full of sadness that made you smile softly. Just the fact that he was trying to insult you made you feel sick.

"I'm not sweet" he stated, probably less convincingly than he thought.

"It's okay Draco, I don't want to argue" you clarified. His expression changed for a quick second, before going back to his stone-face self.

He liked that you called him Draco, it made him feel like you liked him for who he was, not Malfoy, not the Slytherin prince, just Draco.

And that was exactly your intention, to make him feel like someone actually cared.

After that little conversation, everyone in the big hall started to leave to go to their dorms.

Some of your house walked right in front of you giving you sad smiles, Harry, Ron and Hermione even gave Draco death stares.

You knew he had been an ass in the past years, you knew he wasn't the nicest when it came to words, but he wasn't what the others said he was.

Or maybe it was your big crush on him speaking for you. Yeah, probably.

"I'm going to sleep. Malfoy? Show her where's our room" she said.

Draco gave her a hint of a smile that almost made you feel uncomfortable.

'No Y/n you're not jealous, stop' you thought.

"Draco, uhm- so you and Den-?" Draco let out a semi-genuine laugh, before you even completed your sentence.

"She's not my girlfriend Y/n, I don't like her, she's like my cousin, she is my father's cousin's daughter, you're probably kind of her relative too" he explained, and you suddenly felt stupid.

"I'm not your cousin Draco, I'm not a real Black, dad- Sirius just gave me his last name" his lips parted slightly at your confession.

"You're not a Black? Y- he adopted you? Like- oh sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable" he said quickly. A chuckle escaped your lips.

"It's fine, my mom abandoned me, I only know Voldemort killed her and she was a half-blood and so was my real father, who died as well. Professor Lupin was the one who raised me for twelve years, but I've only ever cared about Sirius, he was the best thing in my life even if for a short time. " you confessed, he smiled sadly, his gaze burning on your face.

You didn't know why you trusted him, but for some reason, you did.

"You know, my father uhm- made me do horrible things, but he's family, I don't want to disappoint him" he confessed reluctantly.

Later he'd invited you to his room, he seemed to have loosened up a little bit, while you entered his dorm.

A green and silver scarf was hung on the wall with his last name on it. His bed was perfectly made, no wrinkles, just a smooth green blanket.

To say you were impressed was an understatement.

You smiled at him "so that's why you hide your good part uh?" he nodded.

He just suddenly wrapped his arms around you tightly. You made him feel alive again. He missed the feeling, it was like a deja vu from last year, when you found him crying in a hidden corner when without saying anything, you hugged him, lettinghis speak.

"You're not that bad for an Hufflepuff you know?" He smirked. His first signature smirk of the year, just for you!

"And you're not that bad for a Slytherin either" you laughed.

"I missed physical contact, I-I uhm- it's not very common in the Malfoy manor, to get all cuddly I mean" his chest vibrated with his embarassed laugh that filled your ears as you memorized that beautiful and harmonic sound.

"You're so warm" you said, obviously blushing. Thank you dark night!

"And you're a freezing Hufflepuff" he pulled away much to your dismay and took something out of his wardrobe.

He handed you a green hoodie with a basilisk on the front and the name "Malfoy" on the back.

"I can't accept-"

"It's yours Y/n. Now if you excuse me I have to go somewhere, I'll show you where you're going to sleep" he grabbed your hand, not even realizing it, and took you with him to another corridor, a wooden door with a sign was suddenly in front of us, 'Pansy and Deneb' it read.

You were too zoned out to really comprehend what was going on, but suddenly your hand felt cold, extremely cold. You looked at it, disappointment clearly written all over your face.

"I'm sorry... for you know, taking your hand and everything" he said before walking away, without even waiting for an answer.

You opened the door in front of you and found Den sitting on what you assumed was her bed.

When she spotted you, she smiled.

"Did you do it?" Your cheeks flushed at your not so holy thoughts. You shook your head 'no daydreaming about these things you fucker'

"W-what are y-you talking about?" You asked her with wide eyes.

"Did you kiss Draco?" She asked.

"He's like my cousin Deneb!" You whispered.

"He's not and you know that, so please tell me. Do you like him? " she giggled. You gasped quietly, surprised she knew you weren't a Black.

"I-I want to sleep, uh good night"

"Y/n likes Draco. Y/n likes Draco. Y/n likes Draco!" she chanted.

You ignored her and sneaked into your new very comfortable bed.

Was it that obvious? That you liked Draco.

"All you do is stare at him Y/n " she said like she had read your thoughts or something.

"He's not what he wants the others to believe he is" you explained

"plus he's cute" Deneb completed making you both laugh.

----------------• ☆☆☆☆ •---------------

That morning the atmosphere was extremely strange and tensed, there weren't many students in the Great Hall.

As you approached Harry in your new Slytherin hoodie, Draco's last name properly covered with a scarf. He kind of looked at you in disgust, like he despised you. But you knew he only hated Slytherins in general.

"You look great in green!" Hermione exclaimed happily.

"And you look hella good in blue 'Mione!" You winked.

"Katy said she can't remember anything from Yesterday, but I know it was Draco, I saw him" Harry assumed, your blood began to boil on anger.

"He's not a bad person" you said as calmly as you could.

"Oh you're so blind Y/n" and you were going to spat at him but Draco made his way into the big room, his eyes full of fear and, regret? Was Harry right?

You didn't even have time to answer that question because Draco ran away toward the bathroom.

Harry followed him, and you resisted your instincts for once, all you wanted was rushing after him, she wanted to know who Draco was, who he really was.

You all sat at the same table, including Deneb. It was a nice morning except for the fact that you didn't know where either Harry or Draco went.

"How's being a Slytherin?" Hermione asked snapping you out of your trance.

"It's quite nice, they're not as bad as you think ... and you're just wrong about Draco, he's actually really calm and sweet when he wants to" you explained, a light blush crept onto your face as you did.

"Are you kidding? Malfoy? Sweet? You're crazy" Hermione hissed.

You huffed looking at Deneb for a moment.

"Draco isn't the one you think he is, I'm his cousin, I know what I'm talking about. But his father... he's ruining him, his mother is trying her best but Lucius is just an evil coward" Deneb said, way too calmly.

Ron and Hermione looked at each other before smiling.

"Deneb, is this girl right there intrested in your cousin?" Ron asked, smirking and pointing to you.

"No, she just has a really kind heart" she answered sending you a wink.

You even stopped listening to the conversation. All you could think about was Draco. Where the fuck was he? You swore, if Harry'd done something to him you were gonna kill him slowly,You kind of thought, at that point, that he was just a selfish boy trying to get some attention.

You spaced out for a little while.

Draco's grey eyes popped onto your mind, his smile, his face... but every good thing stopped appearing as soon as you got anxious, you were going crazy right? Harry couldn't hurt him. Could he?

You stormed out of the great hall without even saying anything, you just ran up the stairs, your breath was heavy and it was like your legs got heavier and heavier with every step. But the worst happened when you opened the door of the bathroom.

Draco was laying on the wet floor, he was wincing in pain, his platinum hair sticking on his forehead, his beautiful eyes were closed and some tears were stained on his cheeks.

But even worse was the fact he was covered in blood, his white shirt was now all red and you felt extremely useless.

"Draco, Draco it's me, Y/n" you said before kneeling down beside him.

"Y-Y/n-" then he yelled, that loud your head started to pound slowly.

"Draco, please I'm here, Snape is coming upstairs, I saw him, stay awake" you pleaded as you started to cry, hot tears streaming down your cheeks and landing on your parted lips as you sobbed loudly.

"Y/n? Why a-are you here?" He winced

"You're my friend Draco!" You exclaimed brushing his hair away from his forehead.

"You s-shouldn't b-be- Y/n I-"

"Draco you're not a bad person! Stay with me, please." you implored sobbing loudly and crying, but you didn't care, you only wanted him to live.

"You what Draco? Stay awake please" you sobbed loudly when you noticed the death eaters symbol, that was what he was trying to say, but you didn't give a fuck. You didn't want to lose him, death eater or not, you were falling in love with him.

"I h-hurt people" he whispered weakly

"I-" he opened his eyes for a quick second looking at me but right then they closed again and you realized he'd blacked out, his heart rate fell and he wasn't breathing. That's when realization hit you. He was dead.

Everything that happened soon after went in slow motion, Snape coming in and picking him up from the floor, some people coming in and out of the room, water still flooding the floor. But you were completely still. watching the blood on your hands.

You let out a frustrated scream, when the room was completely empty.

You sat there, sobbing like a little child.

It wasn't like he was the best of your friends, but he somehow understood you, even though you had talked to each others just four or five times in six years of school he listened to you and didn't judge you a single time and you let him die under your watch.

Couldn't you have just gone downstairs and call a professor? You were sad and mostly angry at yourself and at who did that.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked appearing behind you.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" you yelled, not stopping the tears that now completely made your face wet.

"Y/n what happened?"

"He-he killed him, he's dead. Draco is fucking DEAD!" you shouted angrily, your voice rough.

"Who killed him Y/n?"

"Your fucking best friend Hermione" you hissed sniffling.

"I hate him! " you screamed on top of your lungs.

Hermione hugged you tightly after sitting down beside you.

"You love Malfoy. don't you?"

"H-he's d-ead" your voice trembled as Hermione soothed you tracing circles onto your back.

"I'm sorry Y/n"

"He wasn't that bad you know" you took a long shaky breath but broke down crying again immediately.

"I trust you"

"He didn't want to harm anyone" you groaned in frustration.

She helped you up and put one of your arms around her neck.

Your legs felt numb and as you made your way to your dorm, you felt weaker and weaker.

As you opened the door you launched yourself on the bed, face buried in your pillow.

"What-" Deneb asked.

"Draco- " Hermione stopped to take a long breath. "He died" she explained. You on the other hand just continued to cry uncontrollably.

"Hey Y/n it's oka-"

"Don't you fucking dare say it's okay!" You screamed.

"Y/n listen to me okay? He was a really good person, he'd always been awfully nice to you but now he can rest in peace, without all the terrible things they constantly do to him. He deserves this" you knew she was right but you still refused to stop sobbing.

At some point you did stop, and the other two girls smiled softly when they heard your shaky breath become heavy as you drifted off to sleep.

----------------• ☆☆☆☆ •---------------

The following days had been hell for Y/n, all she did was cry and cry.

Dumbledore often went to console her, and she knew something was up, they didn't even have a funeral for Draco.

Y/n's life had gotten miserable.

You locked yourself up again, professor Mcgonagall said you were in shock because you saw someone die under your eyes, so she even let you skip classes. And you were glad she did.

But that day you had been dragged out of your room by Deneb. Against your will.

"Y/n come to class, at least today, if you don't feel good then you'll be a free elf" you groaned in frustration.

"Why do I have to?"

"Because you need to get some fresh air, so now come with me, we have transfiguration"

When you got to class everyone got silent.

You sat on your new desk as a Slytherin and tried to concentrate but as the professor started the lesson, you grabbed your pen and started sketching on your notebook.

"There are rumors flying around the school. Someone said you and Draco were friends with benefits, some said you were dating but he was using you." None of these were true and Deneb knew that, but she still decided to tell you, after she saw your, almost, scared face.

And even though it wasn't consciously, you soon realized you you were drawing Draco.

At the end of the last clas, in the afternoon, your notebook was filled with drawings of him, really detailed ones, that much that your tears threatened to come out. Again.

You silently made your way to Draco's dorm.

You laid on his bed inhaling his scent, and memorizing it. You'd never see his face again.

You opened your notebook and traced the shape of his head with your finger.

You took out a pen from your pencil case and wrote on the drawing: " hope you're doing good up there ♡" as if he could see it, and after ripping the page you put it on his pillow.

When that night Deneb asked if you wanted to sleep there, you obviously said yes.

That lasted for a few days until, three days later you woke up and didn't find the piece of paper with his face in it.

When you fell asleep on that bed everything bad that happened to you disappeared.

And when you woke up you were actually feeling better.

You panicked, it was your favourite drawing. So you frantically searched under the pillows, under the blanket. But nothing was there.

"I look good in this Y/n/n" you heard a voice and you gasped, at the sound of Draco's familiar voice.

"Wha-"

"Hello, Y/n" Draco suddenly appeared from the shadows. He noticed your puffy eyes and bags under your eyes.

"What are you?! A ghost or something?" You asked widening your eyes.

"I'm Draco, with bones and all" he laughed, even if his eyes were full of fear.

"Is it really you? But you died!" You shot up.

"It's me Y/n/n, Snape knew the spell and healed me, but not entirely so they kept me hidden until they were sure I'd survive." He explained.

"A bird told me you missed me" he continued walking extremely close to you.

"I- I surely did, you were- are my friend" you blushed heavily.

" I'm sorry for everything I did, I hate myself for everything, and something happened.. I - refused to kill Dumbledore but-" he interrupted himself starting to sob.

Your confused expression almost scared him.

"Snape killed him, it's my fault I-" you didn't let him finish ignoring the sadness and smashed your lips onto his.

You fell on the bed, but he continued to kiss you almost roughly.

As you pulled away he smiled.

"I like you Y/n, but I'm not a goo-"

His eyes filled with happiness for the first time in years as you smiled.

"Stop! You are the fucking best person I've ever met!" You exclaimed punching his chest.

"Don't you feel ashamed of a death eater?" He asked, remembering when he'd showed you his tattoo.

"No, as long as you're safe"

"Do you mind if I kiss you again?" In response you kissed him, again, softly this time.

As your lips moved together until you saw the door fly open.

"Are you done sucking faces? Lunch is ready" Deneb teased before walking away again.

"I like you so much Y/n. Would you uhm- goonadatewithme?" He asked, his voice trembling a little.

"Of course Drakey"

"Don't call me that"

"Shut up. I love you dork"

#draco x y/n #draco x you #drama #draco malfoy #draco x reader #one shot #draco one shot #i'm going insane #fuck you tumblr

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herowy · 4 years

Text

Dating Headcanon 3 + Scenario

Jenny

A total tsundere.

Most likely you would suggest going out in the first place.

Acts nonchalant with it but is actually really nervous.

She takes things slow in the relationship because she hasn't dated before and is just clueless about it.

Blushes a lot.

The type to want to hold your hand but is too shy to ask and will keep on debating over if she should. She misses the chance and is then pissed about it.

She's straightforward and blunt almost rude with people she doesn't care or relaxed with but with you, she is a complete mess and stuttering fool.

There are many times she wants to compliment you but is too shy and prideful to say them.

She would curse off people who are staring or making you feel uncomfortable, and if they brave enough to challenge her she'll get physical without a thought.

Gets into a lot fight in general and always have a few scratches and bruises on her.

She would be hesitant about dating at first because of all the violence and doesn't want to get you involved. The last thing she wants is you getting hurt. Of course, she'll never say that.

If you're really adamant on staying with her you'll have to really show it because then she'll just keep denying you and distancing herself.

If you do manage, swear on her life she'll keep you safe and as far from her brawls as possible. She might become more rational and actually think twice before getting into conflict to ensure your safety.

Your gonna have to be really patient with her since she doesn't express her emotions very well.

Hates overcrowded places, like really hates it, despises it.

Probably might see one of her enemies there or something.

She's not a romantic but does try and they usually end up failing.

Remembers the little things you like but acts like she doesn't care and tries to be very subtle with it.

If you unconsciously mention food or craving you want she'll pretend not to care but then a few minutes later or when your not looking she'll get it for you.

Not the type to initiate public affection and so you would have to make a move if you want any. Even then she'll try to avoid it but not because she hates it but because she's just really nervous and shy.

She's a private person so she prefers to be intimate when you two are alone.

The further the relationship develops she would start to show more affection and comfort but privately.

Baby steps like holding your hand, wrapping an arm around your waist and tiny compliments but all this while not looking at you.

She has a foul mouth but tried to lighten it with you. Tries.

There will be times when she's down in the dumps and will want to hold you close to her. These are the times where she's most vulnerable and needs you to be there.

Does get jealous quite easily and even over the little things but once you question her about it she will stutter out denial as quickly as possible.

Just sulks when she's jealous, depending on what or who she's jealous about it might get physical.

She prefers isolated places but if you really insist on going somewhere a little crowded then she'll follow grumpily.

Likes animals so probably the zoo or aquarium.

~~~

The night was as lively as ever, colourful streamers and small lanterns hunged and glowed vibrantly across the pathway. Stalls were situated at every corner emitting the smell of fried food and cotton candy.

The overflowing crowd continued to sway endlessly and voices overlapped one another with wild laughter and hollers.

If there was one thing she hated the most that would overcrowded places or loud and annoying bundles of people in one area. The grabble beneath them could barely be seen.

She gave out a low grunt while being dragged through the hoard by a delicate hand.

If it wasn't because of her lover and his doe-shaped eyes and honeyed voice begging her to come with him to a festival gathering, she would never, repeat, never come near this place.

"Come on jenn~ It'll be fun!." With his hands clasped together into a praying gesture.

" Ugh."

"Pleassseee Jenny." He closed the gap between them shouldering next to hers and giving the sweetest smile.

"There's nothing even fun out there. Just the same shit every year. Loud people and ball throwing crap." She grunted and stepped back slightly flustered at how close he was. She also didn't mention it being dangerous in the chances of passing by one of her enemies or them seeing her with him.

"No it's not. It will be fun if you actually give it a try. Come on, please. We've never gone to any festivals TOGETHER before. Besides, it'll make for a great date!"

"D date!?" Her face became red.

"Yeah, a date. Don't you want to?"

"…w well…it's not like…I don't w want to." She averted her eyes.

"…hmmm." He gawked at her inquisitively like he's searching for something.

"…"

"Ughh! Fine, let's go. Since your being so damn annoying and stop staring at me like that!" She blurted in defeat.

"Really!? Yay!!" He cheered.

Jenny grabbed her denim jacket and shoved it onto her self angrily. Damn him for being so cute!

And that's why they're now here.

Being dragged by the hands of her lover and making their way through the pathway as smooth as possible.

She could feel the excitement from how hastily he was hauling her.

A few seconds later she heard his voice saying something but it was blocked out by the screams of the crowd.

"What?"

"Lo…mm.."

She tsked. Next minute the hand attached on her arm was gone.

"Wah hey!"

Jenny called for his name and expected for him to reply but nothing…

She started to panic. Aggressively pushing through the hoard of people and cursing at them to move. She managed to squeeze into a more spacious area and searched for his figure. Turning back and forth and desperately roared for his name.

She was really worried now. What if he got hurt? What if she can't find him? What if…someone found him?

Her heart clawed at her chest in anxiousness and her body started to sweat at the acceleration

Trying to calm herself. She pulled out her phone and frantically pressing onto his contact number.

Ring…ring…ring…ring…ring…rin-

"Fuck! Why isn't he answering!? Fuck for fuck sakes!"

She was pissed. Very pissed.

Running through each row of stalls and pushing at people.

Where the fuck is he?!

She sprinted to the gates where the stalls ended and it was the ocean.

Dashed down the grabble steps and onto the beach where the ocean was.

The scratchy sounds from the grinding of sand against her red converse.

Running through the shore and making her way to the end of the beach which would seem absurd. The beach is more than 100 feet long. She didn't care though, she just wanted to find him.

Then she came to a halt midway. A familiar figure. She prayed to god it was him.

The figure turned around and with a shocked expression.

"Jenny!" He cried cheerfully.

"Ha ha ha…ha…" Panting out of exhaustion and the rapid pulse of her heartbeat.

"Thank goodness your finally here. I was worried that you wouldn't come here. I was gonna call-"

"Fuck sakes!"

"Huh?"

"What the fuck were you doing?!"

"Wh what are you talking about?"

"Why the fuck weren't you answering your fucking phone!?"

"Wah, my phone…oh, i-"

"Do you know how fucking worried I was!?"

"…"

He gaped and alarmed at her outburst. She was breathing heavily, sweat trailing from her forehead and her red hair sticking out everywhere. A complete mess.

"I was fucking running around for an hour trying to fucking find you! I called your phone and you didn't even fucking answer! Why the fuck even have a phone when you won't even fucking answer people's calls!?"

"…sorry…" His eyes fell down to his shoes and held a sad expression. It was like a child being scolded.

"Haaa…" She sighed and turned her face away from his.

A long moment of silence between them. The tension was thick and heavy.

"Jenny…im really sorry…I didn't mean to worry you. I got distracted by one of the stalls during the way. When I turned back…you were gone. It's my fault. I thought it was a good idea to wait here at the beach because it wasn't crowded and we can meet up together...but I didn't think…" He confessed with guilt in his voice and still not being able to look at her.

"Why didn't you answer my call?"

"I couldn't hear it during the crowd…"

She sighed again.

"I'm really sorry Jenny. I was planning on calling you though…" Biting his lips and felt a slight tremble, tears pricking at his eyes and slowly sliding down his soft cheeks.

Her eyes widened at the sight. His tears. He was crying. Her lover was crying. Jenny made her lover cry.

Her heart clawed at her again. Like before but it was more painful this time. It was piercing at her. Stabbing her through the front. Excruciatingly pain that made her hands welled into a fist and white.

"H hey…"

"…"

"Haaa look i-"

"…"

"I'm…sorry…"

"Huh?"

Jenny wanted to hold him. Embrace him entirely against her chest. Wipe those tears and protect him. Instead, she made him cry.

"I'm the one who should be sorry. I…I should have stayed closer with you and…I shouldn't have yelled at you either. Sorry."

"No no. It's clearly my fault, stupid of me to get so easily distracted and then get lost like that. I was stupid.

" Hey don't say shit like that! Your not…your not stupid. Look, it doesn't matter who's fault it is anymore. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

"…"

Witnessing the sadness in his expression and tears that held its place. Swallowing her pride. Jenny closed their distance and hugged his fragile-like body.

"Damn it. Hey, hey look at me."

He slowly looked up at her amber eyes.

She carefully wiped his tears with her thumb and then firmly held his waist and head against her own body.

He leaned in with comfort.

"I really am sorry Jenny." His voice slightly muffled against her shoulders.

"Stop apologising already."

"But i-"

She cuts him off by tilting his chin upwards and sealing his lips with hers. Her tongue caressing his. He was surprised at her boldness. She doesn't usually initiate the first kiss, especially in public.

A few seconds later they leaned back with a thread of saliva connecting their mouths. Panting for air. Staring at each other for god knows how long.

Jenny finally breaks out of the trance of his enchanting orbs and realises what was happening. An immediate rush of heat flooded her face and quickly lets go of him.

"Ahem…that uhh th that wa wasn't supposed to happen…" She coughed.

He frozed his gaze at her stuttering and then giggled.

"Hahaha."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry Jenny, I get it. Thank you for comforting me"

"Wah h hey! It's not what you t think! I just did that so…so you would stop your cr crying! I don't actually care for you…"

"You were worried about me crying that's why you did that, right? So, you do care for me!"

"No, I don't fucking care! You were just being annoying and an eyesore!

" But you hugged me, wiped my tears and even kissed me."

"Shut up I only did that because it was in the moment."

"Hmmm just say you love me already."

"Shut the fuck up. No I fucking don't!"

Jenny was fuming with redness and frustrated by his persistence. She really wanted to shut him up again and his teasing.

"Haha, I love you too Jenny." He flashed a sweet smile.

By God was that long. Since it was only Jenny I'm writing for I decided to make it into headcanon plus scenario.

Honestly, reading back at them I feel bad for my lack of attention towards Mimi and Emily. Compared to the others I didn't write as much. They were my first OCS to start off with and I'm really fond of them.

I'll give them more writing next time to even it out.

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years

Text

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 12

Click here if you are a first time reader.

Summary / TWs: Steve Rogers does not pass the vibe check yet again, le sad face. Loki is a good bro. Bruce fluff but what else is new? Literally everyone is a good bro, yo. Reader has best people. Tony's in there, kind of. Parents still suck.

For taglist: please send an ask if you changed your @! I noticed several people are unavailable :(

As always, my baby gay @miscmarvelwritings is the bestest beta!

"I think I am going to murder your father." Bucky's angry statement didn't surprise me. Neither did Steve's initial reaction, or anybody else's mostly pitying looks.

Bruce, my Bwucie, was calm and dejected. That worried me. I expected him to be at least a little bit green around the edges when Steve forcefully sat me down and made me explain the drunken, drugged stunt I'd done the night before, but alas, it seemed like Jolly Green was just sad. Or disappointed. And I didn't know which was worse.

The more I thought about it, the more defensive and abrasive I became. "And you'll kill yourself trying, he'll drive you fucking nuts" I responded to Barnes. "Honestly, I don't fucking see the problem here. My dad shows up five times a year at best. It's been like that forever. And it's not like I'm some kind of junkie," I defended myself, and my dad, because I really didn't see the huge deal about it. Relaxing once in a while doesn’t hurt anyone.

"It's not right!" Steve exclaimed, loosely banging a fist on the table. The self-righteous prick, seemed like he wanted to pick a fight just for the sake of it.

"And who are you, exactly, to say that? The moral police?" I blew up, standing and turning to the blonde man, hands on my hips. "Or you've decided to be my parent without asking me first? Keep your hopes up and maybe a fuck will magically appear, so I could give it to you."

He stood up in turn, getting uncomfortably close to my face. I was suddenly reminded of the fact that he was a very large, very strong man. "We want what's best for you! Can't you see it?" Rogers was getting red in the face, crossed arms, staring at me down like I was dirt under his shoes.

"How about..." I seethed, having to stop mid-sentence to swallow the scream that wanted to erupt. "How about... You FUCKING ask me what I want?"

"I suggest the Captain leave to go calm down," Loki suddenly piped up. He stayed silent throughout the whole conversation, picking at his food instead. Only after his sharply uttered words I noticed he had stood up. His hand hovered over my shoulder, body discreetly wedging between me and the Captain.

I heard Steve growl before he stormed off, throwing an annoyed look at Loki. A pregnant silence hung in the room. The longer it lasted, the more I wanted to crawl out of my skin, suddenly hyper aware of all these people - strangers, save a few - debating on what to do with me. Like I wasn't a person. Like...

"Ugh, fucking hell," I growled, beelining for my bag. I had definitely overstayed my welcome.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked, standing up to follow.

"Home," I replied curtly, nodding my thanks to Loki for the intervention. He nodded back, walking off. I would have probably started swinging at the Icicle Dick if not for the raven haired Asgardian's timely interruption.

"I'll drive you," Banner trotted after me like a dejected puppy. I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with this, at all.

"I need to see Tony first. Meet you downstairs?"

Bruce nodded, looking even more confused.

Tony kissed me hungrily, in between promises to kill Steve and cancel my dad and get me my own apartment in the tower. Believing in fairy tales wasn't something I was ever prone to; I smiled, nodded along and did my best to shut him up with my own mouth on his. I left with the promise to text him as soon as I got home.

"How are you?" Bruce asked me as we once again drove through the busy city. This was becoming a nice habit but we really had to meet up when I wasn't going through another one of my turmoils.

"All things considered, I am great. Better than I've been in a while." I answered honestly, meaning it. However brief Tony's attention would be, it still satisfied me. Then and there I decided to always, always cherish what happened during my brief stint in his arms.

"Really?" Banner's warm smile was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. "Care to share?"

It threw me for a loop. I didn't know how much Tony wanted to disclose regarding what happened between us. I didn't know the extent of his friendship with Bruce. I didn't know...

"Tony," I choose the usual option. Admit what you can't deny, deny what you can't admit.

"I know the feeling," The good doctor chuckled, companionable-like and meaningful. "He tends to go all the way for the people he cares about. Too much, if you ask me."

"What do you mean?" I was confused. Sure, me and Tony were friends. But not, like, super close or anything. We'd fucked, or more like messed around, so I expected our friendship to grow colder. That's what happened when friends decided to bump uglies.

"I mean... He'll move mountains and challenge the government and bully them into dropping charges against you," There was a hint of sadness in Brucie's voice. I vaguely recalled seeing something on the news, something about the Hulk and a massive destruction spree. It didn't take long to put two and two together.

I reached out, putting a hand on his knee. He covered my palm with his own, giving it a brief, warm squeeze.

"It must be great having a friend like that. You're both wonderful and brilliant. You deserve no less," The smile threatened to split my face in two.

Bruce returned the smile but the sadness didn't go away. "You realize that extends to you, right?"

"Me? I'm just me, Bruce." I wasn't sure where this was going. "I'm Peter's classmate and the resident hot mess express."

Bruce frowned, deep and long, up until he parked. Life seemed to be taking back all the happiness it gave me previously-in fucking buckets. The strap of my bag was going to get its threads pulled out with the way I was fiddling with it.

"Baby… Princess?" The scientist turned to me, tone torn somewhere between stern and pleading. "Listen to me. You are brilliant. Incredibly smart, talented and beautiful. Don't ever, ever think of yourself as less than any of us." I gaped at him.

Did he mean us as the Avengers? Us as Tony and Bruce? Meanwhile he continued, "In fact, I think you are the one who deserves so much better. I don't know what Tony found in me… Or what you found in me."

Was the man an idiot or yes? That was the question of the day. Cursing Tony's affinity for small cars (bless me and my own SUV), I only hesitated a moment before grabbing the dumb Banner by his face and startling him into looking straight in my eye. "If you don't quit talking all that fake-ass bullshit, I will kiss you. On the mouth. With tongue."

"Uh," Was his articulate response. I watched him squirm, blush and lose the heat to his argument.

"Exactly. I've had it all with you idiots today. Next time someone says some stupid ass fucking thing, I will kiss them. On the mouth, with tongue. Pass it on," I exhaled, releasing his face and dropping my head onto his shoulder.

"Some way of solving conflict you have," Banner chuckled weakly, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "I'd like to see Steve's reaction."

"A boner, probably, because he needs to get laid before he spontaneously combusts," I grumbled venomously, still bitter about his reaction. The Capsicle needed to chill. Hehe.

"I'll pass it on too," Bruce remarked wryly. "See you next week?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Bwucie, you're the fucking best," I kissed the scientist on the cheek, giving him a tighter than usual parting hug and walking up the pathway. Home.

Mother was nowhere to be seen - and the obvious reason for that laid on the kitchen floor. Couple of smashed dishes, a bottle of whiskey laying half-empty in a puddle on the grey tiles. The living room rug bore more stains and the smell of alcohol, bitter and acrid (like my soul, hardy har), hung heavily throughout the whole house.

At least I wasn't the only one who fought for myself that day. Mother probably had landed a good one on dad, too, by God the woman could be ruthless with her icy words. Dad never stood a chance. I've felt begrudgingly respectful of the way mother put people in their place with her words ever since I understood sarcasm.

First things first, I cleaned up the mess and opened the windows a smidge, cranking the air recuperation system to the max. Hanging around a place that smelled like a bum on a good Friday night was a horrible way to spend free time. Having successfully cut myself and bandaged the cuts up, I retreated to my room, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in the quiet, stinky, creepy house that my home had become.

My phone was long dead so I plugged it in, waiting for the 2% to appear, turning it on. A few messages from Peter, first cheerful, then worried and then relieved. Tony must've placated the spider child and told him I was staying at the tower. Good call, Tones, or else poor Peter would've worked himself into an anxiety attack and crashed in a dumpster while patrolling. Or something. I still didn't quite get his spider-hero side-gig.

A text from Bruce - rather, a photo, of a disgruntled Steve with his eyebrows raised, titled "I told him the next time he freaks out, you will kiss him. With tongue. Barnes cackled for about ten minutes until he ran out of air."

And a text from Tony. My chest tightened when I opened it. "Good tactics. Sneaky, clever, I'd give it a B+."

I snorted. Then the phone beeped again and I froze. A text ordering me to be ready tomorrow, for a date night? Unreal. I was torn. A part of me was elated, thinking Tony wanted to keep me around like that. The other, more sensible part, was firmly telling me to chill TF down. He'll most likely kindly reject any further intimate interactions, maybe have me sign a few NDAs.

I still answered positive, mushy and cute and all. Feelings aside, I wasn't about to change my texting style for any man. My God, I was turning into a monster. A horribly cheesy, pink, soft, fluffy monster.

The next day, school was nearly unbearable. People talked. Not to my face, of course, since the rumours of me putting away Flash Thompson were still fresh enough for everyone to be cautious around me, but the whispers followed me throughout hallways, tongue in cheek remarks thrown at me from the bathroom stalls, behind the teacher's desks. Did I care? Nope.

Okay, I did, but not in the way one would think. The little spring in my step, a slight smirk. My thoughts were occupied with my upcoming dinner with Tony.

Peter and his pet nerds stood at my side, the ever watchful guards. I had no idea why they decided I needed reassurance or their comfort (I did not), but I had to admit it was cute. MJ, in particular, glared her Death Ray Stare at any male-identifying student that dared to as much as look wrongly in my direction. I mostly ignored the trio. Pete himself did a great job with entertaining his friends, he babbled on as usual, about everything and nothing in particular. Mouth ulcers. He was going to get them one day.

Dad called me during third period, saying he was flying off to California. I would have been lying if I said I didn't know why he scheduled the sudden trip; mother's total radio silence and the absence of her laptop in her own office spoke volumes about the state of my family's affairs. They had a fight and ran off to the opposite ends of the continent. I didn't understand why mother was upset with me, though. I saved her face during dinner at Tony's, so why is she mad about me going to a party with dad? Baffling woman.

Admitting the house felt like home when either of them were absent was hard. Or, perhaps, I felt nothing at all. Spending so much time around the Brady Bunch- the Avengers made me too soft for my own liking. It wasn't just Tony that lived in mind rent-free all the time now; there was Bruce, with his kindness, Bucky with his overgrown teenager attitude, Wanda with her wit and hair that smelled like cheap shampoo - seriously, I absolutely had to show her the benefits of decent hair products. That was just to list the few little quirks. There were so many people, all of them different and wonderful in their own way.

To summarize it, I was both happy for them and bitter for not having any of that to myself. Although it made me kind of glad I didn't have a sibling - looking after someone in the mess that mother and dad created would've been a nightmare. They say it's always a better place where we are not.

I went through a whole pack of cigarettes in a span of a couple of hours. Plagued by strangely melancholic thoughts, trying to push down the anxiety over my upcoming date, my choice of outfit proved to be a cumbersome task while in process.

Expensive but simple dress with spaghetti straps, in my favourite colour. That was the easiest part. A good base for any accessories. Would Tony like it? Would the press make outrageous comments?

Either way, it would. Dad's comments cut deeper than I probably realized it until now; in a sudden bout of self-awareness and a couple of mouse clicks later... Tony wouldn't care. Tony wears suits with sneakers. The Manolos flew back, towards my shoe closet, and a pair of Chanel trainers made their debut. A Hermes 2002 barely weighed down by my wallet, keys and phone. A nice coat, too, appropriately light and so very conceptual and fashionable.

I spent way too much time deciding on what to wear. A stern talking to, however, didn't help me, and I had to redo my make-up - the "nude", "all natural" look was one of the hardest to nail. Or so Marie Claire said. Whatever, my highlighter game was, as usual, on point.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01 @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)!

#party favours #bun writes #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader

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