#literally lost the plot of my thoughts about halfway through this so???

[tiredassmage]

Glass case of emotions, but also Tyr under the microscope again, I still have no answers. Only many thoughts. Maybe some vague insight extrapolated from... whatever the fuck is going on in this. No promises though.

Hottest rotating record at the moment is... the unintentional(?) mirror Tyr’s developed. The emotional damage uncovered in this answer (last question in particular) hasn’t weakened in persistence and I’m suffering from the realization that it’s... how Tyr’s relationship with both the Minister and Ardun Kothe ultimately plays out.

They’re father figures. They’re his mentors. He respects them. They made mistakes. They speak in veils and out of the corners of their mouths and only in private about the depth of the relationship. Explicitly, that bond doesn’t get stated. While they did what they could, maybe it didn’t save him. They ran as much damage control as they could.

Tyr has never been able to explicitly trust someone. Even in family, there was always a purpose to interactions. Can I really be surprised then that, even with someone he loves, he would think “duplicity in the name of the greater good” is viable? Is it really any or such a surprise that he’s willing to remold himself for a cause, to make ends meet, even if it scares him that he has no good answer for who he is, what he values at the core?

It’d maybe almost scare him that he’s willing to mutate and mutilate what those values are for the sake of another, so that they don’t have to. He’s not a perfect ideal, but what he keeps fighting for.. Ideals. Ideas. Are people really grounding points if he’s willing to risk himself for the goal? So uncompromising, yet so, so malleable.

They’re, of course, not the only contributing factors, but I’m a little not okay about it all, lmao.

But the care that’s still there!!!! Acknowledging their missteps. The indirect recognition of their similarities. Idk where I’m going anymore, like three directions at once, probably.

Possibly the one glaring difference between Tyr and the two men he considers mentors and father figures is that he chose Intelligence. The Minister describes it as an initial “distraction” to his military career. Ardun was a Jedi mentions the change, that maybe whoever he was as a Jedi isn’t compatible with who we meet as the SIS operative. Tyr, however, was offered a place among Imperial Intelligence’s ranks and didn’t hesitate.

As Keeper, the old man muses that he’s perhaps idealistic. He believes in serving the Empire, though Keeper’s worries about not being wholly prepared for the bleaker reality of that task are semi-misplaced just as much as they are ultimately wholly accurate. Tyr isn’t as blindly rose-tinted about it as he could be, but what he goes through is still more than enough. (Something something prepared for it to not be a beautiful oil painting, still incapable of ever being prepared for just how deep the rabbit hole went and, really, could you expect anybody to be that prepared without a heapload of prior digging?)

Anyway, what he did believe - what proves to be so idealistic is genuinely working for that checks and balances. That the purpose of having something like Intelligence at all was to defend the Empire and its people. It’s shredded, like so many other similar efforts, by the infighting and the power plays. Absolute destruction within their own borders does naught to stay devastation, so why would it be any different against their enemies?

It crops up again in one of those last conversations - goals instead of ideals.

How to heart did he take that advice? Lokin and Tyr never grow particularly close, but there’s almost never been a finer assessment than how he walks a thin line - Lokin says between “ingenuity and obedience,” I believe. Some mutation of ideals and goals seem to be the basis of Tyr’s bottom lines - what very few it seems he’s capable of holding to.

The standards for him, for Cipher Nine, have always been shifting, changing, mutable, amorphous - the inescapable nature for being a librarian and keeper of secrets for a career, so he continues to inflict such upon himself.

On one hand, maybe it’s one of the only supporting beams that keeps something as ludicrous as challenging the would-be immortal once-Emperor of the Sith within this realm of “why the cursed hell not as if we weren’t already all insane enough” instead of sending him running or cowering like maybe anyone with an ounce of good sense would. What’s a wayward rogue operative with a blaster against one of the most powerful Force users that ever lived?

Tired of your damn shit apparently is what he is.

He can’t think too hard about his problems and I can’t think too hard about his problems. He’d probably have a breakdown if he did and I’m left here making concerned scientist faces at the complex jigsaw puzzle I just found under the rug and maybe he does have the right idea, what if we left that there kaldnflkadfnla;dsfnldsf

#literally lost the plot of my thoughts about halfway through this so??? #idk it makes sense in my HEAD #but also it doesn't bc this bastard can't make sense of himself so good fuckin luck to the rest of us kadnfladnsf #ch: tyr #how do i even tag this microscope experiment #just. thinking about how he continues to keep messing with fire and poking him about why

[cheolhub]

EVENING GLOW — KIM MINGYU ࿐

summary. you’re having a horrible, no good, very bad day and mingyu wants to do everything he can to make it better.

wc. 4.5k+

warnings. hurt/comfort, overthinking, reader goes through it and cries a lot, allusions to having anxiety, smut! soft bf!mingyu, so much praise (it’s insane), pet names (angel, baby, sweet/pretty girl), reader is v needy and sensitive, a lot of reassurance, hand holding, fingering, oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms, slight dumbification, creampie, V SOFT, unprotected sex — MINORS DNI 18+

note. because i love keir ( @jeonghantis ) and bc they deserve the world and all of the stars. also it’s really for anyone who’s had way too many bad days in a row <3 u are very loved (by me and ur fave). also, i lost sight of the plot half way thru this (very common reoccurrence in all of my mingyu fics) so i apologize for that hehsh. i appreciate ur feedback! <3 and yes, this is loosely based off evening glow by wave to earth <33333333 + @toruro i also hope u like this hehehe

bad days aren’t uncommon for you, but you’ve had significantly less since kim mingyu waltzed into your life like the klutz he is. he manages to make every day brighter by simply existing. every smile, every laugh, every touch makes bad days seem like a distant memory.

that’s not to say you don’t still have them because you do. 

you still have days– like today– where it seems like nothing is right. days where you overthink every single thing in your life, ‘am i doing this right?’ ‘does he still love me?’ ‘does any of this even fucking matter?’ days where you want the earth to crack all the way open and swallow you whole. 

those days are beyond harsh. they have you trudging back home with wet lash lines, cloudy vision, and a loud voice in your head that’s begging– pleading– don’t cry, don’t cry, please don’t cry. 

and today… today felt like you went to hell and back. the second your eyes opened, you knew it was going to be one of those days and it truly was a series of rather unfortunate events. you woke up late and alone, you were reprimanded by your boss, you spilled your much-needed coffee during your break, your coworkers were much more hostile than usual, you got yelled at by clients over the phone, your personal phone died halfway through the day because, of course, you forgot to charge it last night, and then, the intrusive thoughts came. the ones that had you overthinking like crazy. 

and it’s not like you could talk to anyone about it (read: talk to mingyu about it). your phone was dead and you hated all of your coworkers, so you were stuck. stuck in limbo, it seemed, mind plagued with horrid thoughts. everything good in your life didn’t feel so good anymore. 

which is why you were practically in tears when you got back home, letting them roll down your face shamelessly as your hand fumbled the keys. you eventually got it into the lock– after steadying your shaky hand– turning the metal and letting yourself in. the second you shut the door, you press your back against it, head in your hands as you let out the soft sobs you've been holding in all day. 

on most of your bad days, you can keep your tears at bay till you make it into the shower. but, on days like today, you just can’t and your sobs echo through the empty apartment, reminding you that you’ll be alone till your boyfriend arrives. it’s not the prettiest sight, though, so you’re partially glad that mingyu misses it since he gets home after you. 

he usually does, at least. 

what you don’t realize is mingyu is home and he’s wandering around the apartment with his brows furrowed, confused as to where the sound of crying is coming from.

and when he sees you at the main entrance with your hands covering your face, he feels the air leave his lungs and his heart almost literally cracks in half. 

he treads carefully, slowly making his way to you. “...baby?”

you’re startled, choking on one of your sobs at the sound of his voice. out of mere embarrassment, you quickly wipe your tears with your sleeve though it does nothing to hide the fact that you actually have been crying. 

“gyu…” you say with a wavering voice, doing your absolute best to keep up your shitty facade. you quickly feel your resolve crumbling as you both stand in awkward silence, so you put your head down to avoid eye contact. “i-i thought you were working?”

he ignores your question and counters with his own, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

you bite your trembling lip and shake your head, eyes still trained on the floor. 

he walks a few steps closer, now towering over your trembling body, “c’mon, angel. tell me what happened.”

you take a shuddered breath, slowly raising your head to look up at him. he frowns at your bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks and at the fact that all you can say is “hi…” in a nearly-inaudible, yet dulcet voice.

“hi, baby,” he whispers back, hands coming to cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping at your stray tears. “tell me what happened.” he repeats, a bit more demanding this time. 

you deflate, “i just had a bad day… it was nothing.”

he shakes his head at how you invalidate yourself, “it’s not nothing if it’s making you cry, Y/N…” he gently reminds.  “please tell me? i wanna help… if you’ll let me.”

you sigh, leaning into his touch. your eyes flutter close and the words escape you before your brain can process them. you tell him everything trying your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you. it’s not like mingyu would care if you were crying and blubbering out your words, but you knew he hated seeing you so upset, so you refrain from shedding more tears. 

you try to refrain, at least. you can’t stop the way they helplessly fall when you open your eyes again. “nothing was going right, gyu… my day was so bad that it had me overthinking every little thing.”

“i’m sorry, baby.” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. “i’m so sorry i wasn’t there for you.”

you shake your head profusely, swallowing the lump you feel in your throat, “n-no! no, please, it’s not your fault, gyu, i swear. my phone died, so it’s not like you could’ve known anyway.”

he pulls away from you, hands coming down to hold yours. “what did you think about?” 

you squeeze his hands, “a lot of things…”

“like?” he frowns, pressing further.

you look away, mumbling out a lie, “i dunno. it was a lot… i can’t really remember right now. ”

truth be told, you didn’t want to admit the anxiety-induced thoughts you had earlier knowing he’d worry. if he heard half the ones you had about your relationship, you know he’d probably break down himself. you’re well aware mingyu loves you more than anything on earth because he never fails to remind you.

but sometimes, the tiny voice in the back of your head– the one that says he’s too good to be true– gets a bit too loud and you tend to forget all his little reminders– all the ‘i love you’s’ he whispers into your ear right before bed, all the kisses he peppers onto your face, all the hugs where he squeezes the life out of you. 

“you don’t have to tell me what you thought about, but i do want to tell you something,” he starts, a small smile making its way onto his pretty lips. he leans into you, with a voice so small as he says, “i love you. and i know i suffocate you with it sometimes, but it’s true. i love you so much. please don’t ever doubt that.”

you nod, sniffling, “i know.” 

his smile grows, “and?...”

your lips curve up a bit and you whisper, “and i love you, too.”

“you better not forget it,” he playfully jokes, forehead resting on yours again. “you know i love you the most, though.”

you giggle softly, shaking your head. “you always turn it into a competition. you know it isn’t right?”

“i know it isn’t, but i do.” he confirms, voice tender and a bit hushed. “i want you to remember that the next time you think too hard. i love my pretty girl the most… more than anything. i’d do anything to keep you happy. wanna see that pretty smile everyday.”

the genuinity– the love– that drips from his words has you weak. the words replay in your head over and over almost as if it’s on a constant loop.

i love my pretty girl. 

my pretty girl.

your breath hitches at the unanticipated pet name, remembering the sweet, innocent way it rolled off his tongue. you know you probably shouldn’t feel this way, but it doesn’t stop the way you squeeze your thighs together, pussy pulsing at the mere term of endearment. you’re almost sure mingyu can feel the heat radiating off your skin, yet he does nothing. he stands still, warm, brown eyes staring at your tear-stained face.

so you take matters into your own hands. 

you stand tall and lean into him. your nose brushes against his and the proximity between the two of you closes quickly. i want to be kissed, your face reads– begs– and he finally sees that, obliging reluctantly. 

his eyes flutter and his lips graze against yours before you take the lead and close the gap for him. as his mouth collides with yours, you feel warmth erupt in your body and you relish it.

the kiss is soft. gentle. it nearly has you melting under him.

but the longer his lips mold against yours, the longer his tongue roams the inside of your mouth, the needier you get. it’s like all your worries wash away. all the bad thoughts evaporate into thin air. all you can think about is the everlasting love you have for the man before you and the incessant love he has for you, too.

you untangle your hands from his in favor of pawing at his chest, nails digging into the cotton fabric of his shit and slightly biting into his skin. 

you’re slowly, yet surely losing your mind. the kiss deepens and all the coherent thoughts you had minutes prior are being pushed to the back as mingyu is on the forefront of your mind. you’re overcome with need for him. need for him to make you forget everything. need for him to fuck you till all you can think about him and the way his cock makes you feel.

and mingyu knows this, of course. he knows with the way you claw at him and how you whimper desperately as if you’ve been deprived from his touch for far too long. 

it’s why he doesn’t make you beg for it. instead he’s pulling away, watching you chase his lips while he breathlessly asks, “you sure you wanna do this, baby?” he looks so enamored with you. there’s no doubt you look like a complete mess right now, but it’s like he sees past it. past the tears, past the red eyes, past all the sadness. 

“please,” you whisper, sniffling again. 

he murmurs okay against your lips before grabbing your hand and guiding you to your shared room. 

he diligently strips you of your clothing, first your pants then your shirt. his fingers skillfully popping the buttons on your blouse and slipping it off your body, letting it fall into a pool on the ground. 

“so beautiful,” he whispers, massive hands immediately moving to grope your tits through your bra. “you’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N.” 

his words linger in the air and you feel them. you feel beautiful when he stares at you half naked in your cotton panties and mismatched bra. you feel beautiful with your puffy eyes and snotty nose. mingyu makes you feel so beautiful even in your most unfavorable moments. 

you whimper at his heavy hands, your own tugging at the ends of his shirt, wordlessly begging for the fabric to join the other clothes on the ground. he obliges immediately, practically ripping it off of himself before his hands are back on you. 

he pulls your bra down, letting your tits spill out, kneading at the flesh with hearts in his eyes. a breathy version of his name comes out of your mouth– 

and the sound makes his cock ache. his body yearns and begs to be inside of you. so much so that it has him swiftly unclasping your bra before gently pushing you onto the bed. he thinks it’s gentle, at least. mingyu tends to forget his strength so his gentle can be your rough. 

it doesn’t matter, it never has. every single act mingyu performs for you is one that comes from a place of love. he’s a benevolent man, not a single malicious bone lives in his hand-crafted body. 

“gyu,” you whisper, hand slipping in between your thighs to work on your clothed clit as he towers over you. at your own contact, you feel a shock run through your body and your back just slightly arches off the bed. “need you.”

he curses under his breath, suddenly unable to breathe in his loose house shorts. he hooks his fingers into the waistband, pulling them down and presenting his leaky, hard cock to you. 

and the sight has your entire body going hot. you throw your head back against the plush pillows and moan out his name, louder this time, fingers moving faster against your clit– though it would feel so much better if he finally put his hands on you. or better yet, his cock inside of you. 

“gyu,” you drag out his name in a cry and you finally feel the bed dip under his weight.

“i know, baby,” he whispers, hand moving yours away from your soaked panties in favor of replacing it. when his bigger fingers begin to rub circles into the covered bud, you gasp and let yours grasp at the sheets under you. “i know you need me. i’ve got you.” he reassures you, voice shaky as he notices just how wet you are. “gonna make you feel so good, don’t worry.”

but you don’t realize how sensitive you are because the second his hand slips inside your panties, his warm hand finding your heated cunt, fresh tears spring to your eyes. “oh, fuck,” you shudder, shaking underneath him. 

“you’re so wet,” he mutters the obvious, fingers dipping in between your folds to collect your slick before pulling his hand out. 

“don’t tease me,” you plead weakly.

he frowns, shaking his head, “i’m not– i won’t,” he tells you softly, rolling your panties off your body and down your legs. he tosses the cotton material over to join the other articles of clothing on the ground before his hands spread your legs open, displaying you for himself. “i told you that i got you, pretty girl, i promise.” 

you give him a broken nod, squirming in discomfort.

his hand is back on your pussy in no time, tapping at your drooling hole with two of his fingers. “this still okay?”

you nod again, “yes, gyu.”

he leans down, lips meeting yours as he presses into you with his index and middle fingers. he’s quick to swallow your moan as he stretches you open, feeling the way your gummy walls invite and welcome him in. 

your kiss is more fervent this time around. you can feel his need, the way he shoves his tongue into your mouth, messy and uncoordinated. it has you trapping his fingers between your wet walls, grinding with all your might against his hand. 

you have no clue how he manages to multi-task, both finger-fucking and kissing you into oblivion, but he does both without fail. you whine desperately against his lips, one of your hands coming to wrap around his wrist in hopes to support yourself. 

the wet squelching of your cunt fills the room and it has him pulling away from you for a second to groan out, “you hear that, angel? pretty pussy takin’ my fingers so fuckin’ well.”

you clench around him again, enveloping him as if your life depended on it– you feel so fucking good–

and yet you crave more. it feels good, yes, mingyu always has you seeing stars, but you need more. more of his fingers, more of him. and mingyu is probably well aware of the fact with the way your pussy swallows his fingers, but you know he’s reluctant about giving you too much because of… prior events.

you want that– you want too much. you want to forget about your shitty day. the only thing you want to think about, the only thing you want to be all-consumed by in this very moment, is mingyu. 

“m-more–” you whine against his lips as he wildly pushes in and out of your messy cunt. 

fingers unfaltering in speed, he pulls away from you breathlessly, lips wet and swollen. “more, baby?” 

“mhm,” you give him pleading eyes as you whisper, “wanna cum.”

“fuck,” he mumbles, nodding his head mindlessly as if your words put him into a daze. his fingers pull out and his ring finger joins the two that are already covered in your slick. they push into you slowly, effectively opening you up. “how’s this, beautiful? this enough?” 

you pant, clamping around the digits, squeezing them like a vice. “m-min-” you muffle your moan with your hand, more tears stinging in your eyes.

“no?” he asks, an endearing grin on his face. he maneuvers till he’s in between your legs, he moves further down the bed and your heart thumps erratically in your chest. 

it’s when his lips wrap around your clit while he concurrently thrusts his fingers into your sopping heat that you let out an ear-splitting moan. you lace your fingers into his silky hair and tug at his roots without a care. 

he winces and moans against you at the feeling, the pain making his cock throb against the bed. 

your mind escapes you, melting at the pleasure. his tongue flicks at the sensitive, swollen bud while his fingers curl against your sweet spot, pushing you closer and closer to the edge and you’re on the brink of pure ecstasy. 

“s-so close, fuck, i’m close, gyu.” you babble breathlessly. 

he moans again, tirelessly continuing his brutal attack on your pussy, but the sound waves of said moans shock your entirety and teeter right over the edge. your vision goes black for a solid minute, only a few specks of white in sight, your blinding orgasm taking your entire body over. 

you jerk under him, back arching as you release all over his fingers, the tightrope in your tummy completely unraveling and allowing you to soak his fingers in your syrupy arousal. his mouth moves down as he pulls out and slurps you up obnoxiously, eating you out as you cum.

and you can’t stop shaking, not even after he’s pulled his mouth and fingers away from you. your body twitches and writhes like he’s been working you for hours and mingyu, astounded, has never seen you like this– well, he definitely has– not after a single orgasm, at least.

he shudders, body burning with need. the taste of you alone has his brain a bit fuzzy. “are… you okay? was it too much?” he manages to ask, voice strained. 

mingyu thinks his question falls on deaf ears when all he hears is your heaving and tiny whimpers. he moves to clean you up, partially worried he overstimulated you, but then you make grabby hands at the large, flushed man.

he leans into your touch, allowing you to grab on to him, “what’s wrong?” 

when he looks into your eyes, glassy and glazed over, he notices the hint of need. the pinch of pure desperation. he sees the way you wordlessly ask for more of him, how you wordlessly ask for him to just fuck you already– he can’t deny you. not with the year-long day you’ve had or with the way his cock is basically begging to stuff you full. 

he pecks your lips and sits up again. a soft chuckle escapes him as you chase him for another kiss, but it quickly turns into a sharp breath when he looks down at your puffy, pulsing pussy. you’re crying for him, that much is obvious, but your pussy is just weeping. 

an endless trail of arousal continues to drool out of you and it’s so enticing… yet it feels so tantalizing… 

he feels a bit guilty for being this hard, for wanting to fuck you so bad. it’s in his good nature. you’ve told him countless times that it’s okay, that you need him, but he just wants to make sure. 

“are you sure?” he whispers, so soft that you could almost miss it. “we can just go to bed if you’re not up for this, Y/N.”

you can tell that mingyu is fighting inner turmoil. you know he always feels guilty for fucking you stupid. today, though, you’re sure he feels guilty for the other things. 

you don’t want him to. he shouldn’t feel guilty for something beyond his control, so you muster up all your strength and, in a wavered voice, tell him, “i want you… always want you.”

you hear his breath of relief and see the wobbly smile on his face and you mirror it. he’s quickly ridding his mind of the guilt and shame at your reassurance and lining himself up with your hole. he slides the tip of his cock between your lips and revels in the way you jolt gently. 

“deep breath f’me,” he mutters, knowing you’ll need it. when he hears your shaky inhale, he takes one of his own right as he pushes into you. “fuck,” he says breathlessly. you’re still so fucking tight around him.

a broken whine bubbles up in the back of your throat and mingyu watches the way your eyes screw shut and your jaw goes slack. beautiful, he thinks to himself. even when you’re fucked out of your mind.  

he finds the strength to push past the resistance, slowly shoving himself inside of you till his pelvis meets yours.

when he bottoms out, your face contorts and you’re spluttering over your words, “s-so big,” 

he nods his head like he knows. “i know, baby,” he murmurs, sliding one of his hands into yours. “but you’re so good for me, always take me so well.” he whispers this time as he’s leaning down, moving your intertwined hands next to your head on the pillow. his free hand cups your heated cheek and he studies you for a few minutes, cock fully sheathed inside of you. 

he watches your face change as you become accustomed to the size of him, how your contorted, pained face relaxes as the minutes pass. when your eyes flutter open and you whimper his name, “gyu…” he pulls out a tiny bit before pushing back in– something of an experimental thrust– and discerns your positive reaction. 

he repeats his actions, inching out a bit more and sliding back in with ease. his eyes observe you intently, noticing every reaction you make as he drives his cock in and out of you, each one going deeper than the last. 

his hand squeezes yours and his lips graze against yours, “feel good?” he asks, breath fanning over your face. 

“uh-huh, so good,” you respond in a pant. “th-thank you.”

he falters a bit, but continues to deliver his deep and calculated thrusts. “why are you thanking me, angel?”

“for taking care of me.” 

mingyu’s heart swells and nearly bursts right then and there. his smile practically reaches his ears because mingyu, admittedly, loves being the cause of your pleasure. he’s a giver. he always has been. 

it makes his hips move faster, his hips flushing to yours with every stroke. the bed squeaks under you, loud and annoyingly high-pitched. neither of you are bothered by the sound as you’re wrapped up within each other– you’re moaning and whining for more and more against his lips and he’s promising to deliver through deep groans and grunts against yours. 

and he does deliver. the tip of his cock kisses your cervix and it knocks the wind out of your lungs. you squeeze the hand in yours and your other comes to claw at his body. you dig your nails into the flesh of his arm, biting into him in favor of leaving crescent shapes on his smooth skin. 

he hisses, but the subtle sting just spurs him on. that and the way your pussy contracts around him.

“oh fuck,” you whisper, a high-pitched whine following the words. you’re so sensitive from your previous orgasm that it’s making all too much. your body is buzzing and the familiar knot is forming quicker than usual. “mingyu– mingyu, i-i’m so close.”

he nods, breathing out, “it’s okay, baby– cum for me. you deserve it.” you deserve everything you want, he fails to add. 

you don’t hold back, completely unraveling under him. you’re easily reduced to a mess, gushing all over his cock while you mewl a mantra of his name. your brain leaves you for a solid minute as you mindlessly babble out thank you’s and i love you’s. 

he pulls away from your lips as he watches you come undone. he’s truly so enraptured by you. with your tear-stained cheeks and the drool that trails past your bruised lips. when you tell him you love him– almost incoherently– his dick twitches in your spasming cunt. 

“i love you.” he groans, swiftly rocking into you. you’re sobbing in overstimulation, but he eases you with more praise. “you’re so good, fuck, so perfect. i love you so bad.”

his hand leaves your cheek, instead grabbing your free hand and intertwining your fingers. he pins your hands next to your head, just like the other, and continues fucking you. 

“my pretty girl,” he murmurs, holding your contrastingly smaller hands tightly. “i’m gonna cum inside… you want that right?”

the question triggers your mind back to life. “please,” you moan weakly. “n-need it.”

he twitches again, a throaty groan coming out of him before he gasps. his entire body stiffens before he presses himself all the way inside of you. his groans and grunts distort to needy moans as ropes of his seed paint the velvet walls of your convulsing heat. 

he attempts to control his breathing. after a minute straight of panting and whining, his heaving chest slows and falls into a steady rhythm. 

“are you okay?” he pants, pulling out of you, body still hovering over yours. “was it too much…”

your lips turn up into a tiny, sweet smile and nod your head, “‘m okay, baby.”

“good,” he whispers, leaning in and kissing your lips.

he releases you from his grasp and falls next to you, trying to recover more before cleaning you up. he sighs, soothing a hand over your skin and you scoot into him.

“i wanna help you,” mingyu starts with the softest voice you’ve ever heard after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “you can always tell me when you’re having one of these days, baby… you know that right?”

“i know,” you nod, mindlessly tracing shapes onto his bare chest. 

“i’m always gonna be here for you… as long as you’ll have me.”

“i know.” you repeat, words whispered this time. “you always make the days better– make them shine– you literally have a heart of gold, mingyu.” 

he chuckles, “i don’t,”

“no, you do. just trust me. if we cut you open right now for open heart surgery, there’d be 24 karat gold in the shape of a human heart inside of you.” you tell him.

mingyu smiles widely. happily. 

“just remember that this heart is all yours, angel.” 

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

taglist 🏷️: svt : 🔖 @roe-sinning @hyuk4ngel @bowmonde @5xiang @ttyunz @lunaofthelake @girls4cheol @miriamxsworld @enhacolor @jihoontea

#mingyu smut #svt smut #seventeen smut

[socksandbuttons]

Swap AU Stuff

Alright let's jsut try getting down basics maybe

Also this maybe long actually.

The obvious Swaps Lunar and Eclipse: Basically how we meet them in episode. I legit went along with thinking this Eclipse wasn't memory wiped the whole time so thats kinda- in the air a bit. But Lunar being the original body (I have a post showing how Eclipse looked then), Eclipse with the one he made (to be taller. He can't stand being small... Well shorter than anyone really. A shame he has Bloodmoon towering over him.) The Glamrocks: They are as Swapped so Chica is Freddy, Freddy is Roxy, Roxy is Monty and Monty is Chica (I love them immediately after giving them luscious hair im sorry). Rox and Sun are friends and he's quite protective of Sun, also a cowboy cause swap au/Foxy etc. Digi in the discord came up with this and i died cause it was so good actually. Eclipse and Lunar still go thru the whole October Arc with Moon and Sun. Moon being far more quiet but aggressive. Made Sun to hinder Eclipse. Let me paste my lil paragraph i had in discord

"Sun likely has more denial about moons treatment of him, however like lunar he does start questioning if its good for moon to get the star (like sort of getting the Moon Wont Stop so i need to do something he might hurt himself etc) plus lunar and eclipses treatment of sun would be a huge factor too, eclipse obviously is terrible at communcating and while he's a bit of a jerk, realizing sun might be in danger or hurt is something he might catch on faster. maybe. im thinking anyway sun catches attachment to both that outweighs his denial of moon being terrible actually. he's still grasping at things even well after. doesnt realize he gets awful panic attacks until someone points it out actually. and then i lost my train of thought but moon still loved sun just…. very clearly was not the forefront of his goals tho. feels very betrayed by sun after and likely wont fogrive sun. vs sun whos too willing to forgive despite his anxiety screaming at him NOT TO. i just wanna show a different thing to this cause lunar recognized halfway into october and let moon handle the rest and recognizes that eclipse was hurting him much sooner than sun wouldve (see the… current sun. og sun recognizes now but it truly took him a WHILE, communication Real now.)" Anyway, Sun does end up getting adopted by both Eclipse and Lunar. He's never gonna be taller than Eclipse. But as mentioned he's got a lot of things to work through about Moon (Roxy will kick so much ass for him.) Generally trying to grasp that yeah no it was pretty fucked up of Moon to do anything to Sun. Now the timeline gets a lil weird beyond this because like KC would've also been in this plot. KC unlike our Bloodmoon, is actually far smarter (Im sorry to bm fans), he DOES work with Sun but generally more for his benefit of getting rid of Moon. He doesn't really need to be bribed for this actually. Imagine KC being so pissed about Moon showing up in his systems and hes LIKE WTF MAN. Zappity Zap Zap Double Dee Moon Anyway Cue Bloodmoon arriving. And like bloodmoon does- He does technically hold Eclipse hostage but gets bored. So there is mild agreement. Bloodmoon does what KC did and FORCED themself out (like our OG boy!). They're uh... theyre not very keen on sticking around a daycare as fun as itd be to tear it up. They like lightly bully Sun but Roxy to the rescueee. Anyway, 'Does KC die in this au?' No he doesnt. He gets CLOSE to it but Bloodmoon just goes 'Hmn. nah son you're coming with me'. Lunar still feels incredibly bad about it though. Space arriving sooner actually more or less helps like avoid some certain issues here and there. Unlike Earth where she arrives much later (due to be literally distracted.) Space goes directly to the daycare. Thus kinda- changing some bits. He does meet Bloodmoon, hates him though. 'Why aren't you thinking this through' 'We wanna see how much they scream' 'You'll be electrocuting yourself before you get the chance' '...That means Eclipse gets electrocuted?' 'Put down. the fork.' KC handles Bloodmoon with much exasperation. Bloodmoon picked up this sucker and went 'our Spawn'. Baffles KC. Space ends up meeting Crater, Moon got annoyed with Space's presence being literally really hard to work around. Sends Crater, Crater and Space get along well enough that it wasn't Moon intention but this works too. Space (theres irony here) gets concerned with Crater and her not viewing herself with autonomy. She is still just a 'basic AI' as she puts it. Does what she's told. Bloodmoon doesn't really use her just kinda shoo's her off to Space or Eclipse. 'No you're no fun-' 'I have told to monitor you' 'WE DIDNT ASK MOON FOR A BABYSITTER' 'I am programmed to defend' 'We dont need defending either' 'You are still vunerable' '...Go away' 'Affirmative. Destination please?' 'DAYCARE'

Anyway How do i sum this up. Roxy and Sun are besties Lunar and Sun vibe. Eclipse is soft with Sun.

Bloodmoon has claimed ONE child. Doesn't really claim Moon but thats a later thing. Moon and KC despise one another.

KC didn't really want this fatherly figure but he begrudgingly accept them. Funny things happen with these three. Bloodmoon doesn't become pacifist, just more or less moves away dragging KC with them. A little bitter at Lunar's murder attempt but its fine. No one died there but heavily maimed.

Eclipse and Moon still ultimately hate one another. There is a Swap version of Solar thats Moon and- we'll get confused so just know its out there. Space and Crater are good friends and partly why both end up questioning their existence but both support pillars to one another that it just kinda isn't as devastating. Unless someone dies. Crater does end up having her own personhood, Moon does get attached to her even if he doesnt admit it. Space doesn't question creator enough but Crater does and vice versa. Bloodmoon(s) does have a name but ill reveal that later??? idk

#sun and moon show #tsams au #sams swap au #myart #swap crater #swap space #sams sun #sams lunar #sams eclipse #sams moon #swap roxy

[kimsohn]

it takes 2 to mango

pairing . beomgyu x gn! reader (ft. yunjin of le sserafim) about . 12.2k words, fluff + angst warnings . cursing, a lot of food mentions, kissing, mentions of murder/dying (it's all jokes), y/n is in denial half the time (about beomgyu and mangoes), it took me like 2 months to write this so it may be all over the place i'm sorry in advance

synopsis . after your parents drop you off at your aunt's, leaving you with your whole life packed in bags, all you can do is wonder when you'll finally be able to get back to your old life. except, of course, when a brown-haired boy makes you wonder if staying here isn't so bad after all. note . literally after 2 years of delay and many plot changes it's finally here!! happy (late) birthday @urmelo, i told you i would write it and it's here (albeit two months late but wtv). also i literally wrote this whole thing based on this image but halfway through i realized he's sitting in a classroom so my whole broadcast idea was stupid 😞 and this is slightly inspired by all of us are dead and f4thailand! i stole the mango pun from google tagging . @invuwrld @tocupid @mmmsvnts @seung-scrittore

You have never loathed mangoes more than this moment.

It’s only been a couple of hours since your parents dropped you off at your aunt’s house, your whole life packed into suitcases and a Hello Kitty backpack you’ve owned since fifth grade, and you’re already sick of this situation. You don’t even understand your parents’ thought process, because who would even leave their whole life behind to start a mango supply business in Thailand, and you’re even angrier at your aunt for encouraging it. Now, you’re forced to leave behind the comfort of your old life and start anew in the four walls of your new house, miles away from your parents and old friends.

You even hate the stupid smile on your mom’s face when you agreed to their plan. At least you’ll be somewhat rich when your parents decide to come home, however long that might take (hopefully it’s within the next five minutes or so).

“Y/N, let me know if you want to paint your walls, okay? Your uncle loves interior design, so he’ll be happy to organize your room.”

In your old house, your walls were a bright, cheery yellow. Now they’re a boring beige, reminiscent of the hospital walls you’ve always hated. It’s okay though, because now yellow will remind you of mangoes, and you’re just about ready to hurl something at the mere thought of the fruit.

“It’s okay Auntie,” you respond, tracing your finger across the indents of the walls, “I kind of like the beige.”

Your cousin Yeonjun snickers from behind your aunt, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. Yeonjun is definitely the type to hate beige because even his personality shines a bright red flag. Even now, he’s on his phone, probably flirting with (code word for annoying) some poor soul.

“Okay, honey. Yeonjun can help you finish unpacking, and then he can take you to school so you can find your classes. Tomorrow is your first day, after all, I don’t want you to get lost.”

With that, she closes the door behind you, leaving the two of you in your drab room with no personality. Instead of helping you unpack, Yeonjun sits on the chair in the corner, typing away with no care in his mind.

“I thought you were supposed to help?” you huff, though it’s not angrily.

Even though you and your cousin were friends, at first forcibly due to your family relations and later willingly because he’s actually quite interesting, you know that he won’t hesitate to note whatever he can to have leverage over you. Already, he’s taken a picture of your backpack, and if he helps you unpack, he’ll definitely find the shark plushie you brought for the sentiment. It’s not out of malice; it’s just the way your relationship is, however annoying it may be.

“Like you need my help,” he scoffs, crossing one leg over the other as a means to get comfortable, “just let me know when you’re done.”

You survey the mess of your belongings scattered across the bed. It’ll probably take hours, if not days, to sort out properly, and even you are itching to leave this stuffy room and get some fresh air. You’ve sorted out what you need for the next few days, so you might as well revisit this mess later.

“Actually, we can go now. I kind of need a break anyway.”

“Goody-two-shoes Y/N needs a break? Are you in your rebel era?” he jokes, but he opens the door and sticks a leg out, leaving it open for you to walk through.

You smack him on the shoulder as you walk to his car, sitting shotgun and itching to put your feet on the dash. You’re an average kid and you do average things, but you’re not in the mood to argue and correct your cousin.

“Just shut up and drive.”

You kind of wish you stayed at home because even mangoes wouldn’t survive in this environment.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with your new school. It seems even more modern and spacious than your old one, and it has way more amenities than you could even imagine. You can see yourself fitting in here quite well, and since Yeonjun is popular, it’ll be easy to make friends.

The only problem is that the air conditioner isn’t working today, which means it’s extremely hot in the building. The hot sun outside paired with the lack of cool air means the whole building could resemble the Sahara Desert, and you wish you’d worn something more fitting for the weather, like the tank top Yeonjun has on right now (although, he seems to have other motives for wearing it). The sweat beads trickle down your forehead, and the only thing saving you right now is the popsicle your cousin was kind enough to buy for you. Unluckily, the gas station only had the mango flavor left.

“Yeonjun, are we done yet?” you ask, although it sounds more like a plea as you trudge along the hallways.

“Actually, no. We still have the science hallway, and the math hallway, and—”

A shrill noise fills the air, and you cover your ears shut and watch Yeonjun’s popsicle fall from his hands. Startled, the two of you find stability against the wall as the sound disappears and is replaced with crackling noises.

“Fuck, my popsicle!” Yeonjun exclaims, looking extremely disappointed as he grabs a tissue and cleans the mess up.

“Forget the popsicle, what was that? It’s a Sunday, who’s playing with the speakers?”

“It’s probably the media team preparing for the week’s announcements. Come, I’ll show you the broadcast studio.”

Yeonjun’s flip-flops squeak across the floor as you two walk, and in a matter of minutes, you reach a bright blue door next to the auditorium. Big block letters indicating which room it is are engraved on top, and Yeonjun knocks on the door repeatedly until it opens.

“I knew it was you,” a blue-haired boy answers, “you’re the only one annoying enough to knock that many times.”

“Hey! You should’ve answered faster.” Yeonjun protests as you giggle, glad you’re not the only one who finds your cousin annoying.

The boy pouts as he lets you two inside, and immediately you feel like you were cast into a recording studio. Shelves of CDs and books fill the sides, and behind the glass panel, a room full of microphones and levers peeks through. You feel like Radio Rebel in her bedroom, only intensified, and as you check out the large computer screens that line the walls, you find yourself imagining sitting in the center and being a part of whatever goes on behind the scenes here.

Your eyes cross over a brown-haired boy sitting at the table, headphones covering his plush hair and a teal highlighter in his hand. He’s looking down at a piece of paper, probably a script, and unknowingly you’re leaning forward to get a better look at his face before Yeonjun taps your shoulder and you straighten yourself.

“Y/N, this is Soobin,” Yeonjun gestures to the blue-haired boy, “and that over there is Beomgyu,” he continues, pointing to the boy at the desk.

Soobin smiles warmly, shaking your hand awkwardly as if this was a courthouse and not a classroom, but your eyes are more focused on Beomgyu. They’re focused on the way he taps the highlighter on his lips when he’s deep in thought, or when he adjusts his headphones when he’s satisfied with something. Yeonjun moves to interrupt him, probably to introduce you, but you hold him back so he can continue his work.

 “Are you interested in joining?” Soobin asks, handing you a flyer, “we could always use more people.”

“I’m not that much of a speaker,” you respond, taking the handout anyway.

“You don’t need to be. We do more here than just talk, you know?”

As Soobin waves you goodbye, you take one last glance at the room, particularly Beomgyu, before you step out. You don’t know for sure whether you’ll join the club or not, but you have a feeling that you’ll be seeing him around pretty soon.

You might hate your alarm clock more than you hate mangoes, but at least it’s useful.

It’s the first day at your new school, but you’re not really jumping for joy. School is school wherever you go, and you don’t really feel the excitement or jitters someone would usually feel after transferring. You’re just about ready to pass through the rest of the year as smoothly as possible and hopefully not gain unwanted attention as the resident new kid. You’re already suffering enough by joining after a whole semester; you don’t need to bring any more trouble to yourself.

“Y/N, are you ready?” Yeonjun yells from outside the house, revving the accelerator so you can hear his annoyance.

“Coming!” you yell back, grabbing your bag and rushing out the door, holding a half-eaten piece of toast and a glass of orange juice.

Yeonjun likes to go to school a little early so he can talk to his friends, but this was a fact you didn’t know until five minutes ago. In an ideal situation, you wouldn’t have been rushing on your first day, but your cousin never makes things easy for you. At least he didn’t drive off without you.

Yeonjun attempts to lecture you about your lateness in the car, but you tell him to pay attention to the road and stuff the toast in your mouth. One thing you won’t let your cousin disturb you about is food, so you’re glad he calms down and lets you enjoy a peaceful ride to school.

You’re finishing your orange juice as he pulls into the student parking lot. He has a spot reserved for him, apparently, and the fact seems to be true as he parks in the space with “YEONJUN” decorated in bright red spray-paint letters. He puts on sunglasses as he exits the car, and you’re extremely glad he doesn’t have fans swooning over him in front of his car because you don’t know how much more you can take. Who does he think he is?

Thankfully, the air conditioner seems to be working this time around because as soon as you enter through the front doors, a blast of cool air hits you in the face. It’s only January, but the sun outside doesn’t seem to be taking a break this week, so you’re grateful for the human wonder that is A/C. Yesterday’s empty halls are now filled with students, and already Yeonjun is dragging you off to introduce you to some new people. You’re just glad he has pink hair because otherwise, you would’ve lost him.

By the time you reach your first class, your mind is riddled with names of people you’ll probably never talk to again. You’ve met at least three Jaehyuns, a Yunjin and a Yujin and another Han Yujin, two Jisungs, and many more students you definitely won’t remember. If you were on your own, it would’ve taken you a whole year to talk to this many people, but with a semi-superstar by your side, it only took ten minutes. You’re just glad your presence seems to be well-received.

Your first class is math, and already you find yourself falling asleep. A stack of books finds its way onto your desk, a textbook for everything you could need, and you can foresee yourself sleeping in to skip this terrible class. The only good sight about this class is Mr. Kim, who’s nice and tries to be entertaining, but there are only so many ways you can make numbers and formulas fun. At least the girl sitting in front of you, Yunjin from earlier, helps you pass the time by doodling her number on the margins of your notebook.

Bored and half asleep, you trudge your way to your second class, history. You’re grateful your cousin helped you find your way across the school yesterday, because your class is across the school in a corner you wouldn’t have even known existed. Unlucky for you, Mrs. Jung isn’t as nice or entertaining as Mr. Kim, but just before you can succumb to slumber, the intercom buzzes.

The morning announcements play, but instead of Soobin’s voice, you hear someone unfamiliar.

“Hey everyone, happy Monday! It’s the beginning of the week, which means we have a long road ahead, but I believe in each and every one of you to get through it. We’re only a couple of weeks from break, which is an exciting thought to look forward to…”

You realize halfway through that the voice is Beomgyu’s, and you don’t know what it is about his voice, but it seems to be perfect for starting off the announcements. He seems to be tasked with maybe a desperate attempt to cheer up the student body on a dreary Monday, but they seem to be doing the job because you feel much lighter than before the announcements. Others seem to feel the same way too, because the atmosphere in the once stale, cornered history classroom is now bright and jolly. You honestly wish you had listened to the full script he had prepared, but either because of your previous fascination or his soft, honeylike voice, you find it hard not to be lulled to dreamland.

After, he's followed by Soobin, who talks about the daily updates and the weather, and you wonder how he manages to sound so upbeat and cheery this early in the morning. He then passes the mic to a boy named Taehyun, who voices important announcements and leads the school pledge before the mic crackles off.

You can’t stop thinking about Beomgyu for the rest of the class period, so when he slides into the empty seat next to you halfway through the lesson, you think you must be imagining things. It’s like he’s glowing, as if a dreamy filter spans across his face. You stare at him until he stares back and raises an eyebrow, a quirk to show his feelings of confusion. He throws a rolled-up piece of paper at you, and when you catch it, you realize he’s very much real.

Bit by bit, you unfold the paper, and in scratchy handwriting, he’s written ‘Am I that interesting?’ in all caps. Your face feels like it’s on fire, and you tuck the paper in between the crease of your notebook, filled with doodles of Beomgyu’s name. You quickly shut it, hoping he didn’t see it, and avoid his gaze for the rest of the period.

Unluckily for you, fate doesn’t seem to be on your side because as soon as the bell rings, Beomgyu is reaching out to grab your elbow. You think you’re utterly and absolutely fucked, and you’re even more mortified when he links elbows with you and leads you out of the classroom.

“What’s your next class?” he prods, and you only answer after he asks a second time because you’re too embarrassed to register anything.

“English, with Mr. Yoon. Look, I’m sorry about before, I thought I was dreaming—”

“Dreaming? Are you in love with me or something?” he asks, and even though the question is accusatory, his smooth voice makes it sound like music to your ears.

“No!” you exclaim, a little too loudly that you have to apologize to the teachers standing in the hallway before continuing, “Look, I was falling asleep in Mrs. Jung’s class, okay? Since the seat next to me was empty beforehand, I thought you were a random daydream that I was making up to distract myself. I genuinely didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my staring or anything, I just didn’t know you were real until you threw that ball at me.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” he responds, his features softening at your explanation, “her class is pretty boring anyway. You’re new here, right? Yeonjun’s cousin? I’m Beomgyu.”

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. You’re a little weird, you know that?” he remarks, laughing as he walks you to class.

You look down at your linked elbows and his goofy skipping. His observance is contradictory, but somehow, his weirdness is a little endearing to refute.

“Yeah, but you’re a little weird too. We cancel each other out, I guess.”

As soon as you step into the production room, you’re cast with the smell of mangoes. Seriously, those damned fruits seem to be following you, and you can never seem to escape them.

“Y/N! Hi! Welcome!” Soobin greets, ushering you into the room and grabbing you a seat, “We’re so happy to have you.”

It’s the next Thursday, a week after the dreaded daydream incident, and you’ve decided to show up to the broadcast meetings. You’ve been toying with the idea of joining ever since you walked into the room on Sunday, but it was Beomgyu’s insistence yesterday that really pushed you over the cliff of uncertainty.

“We have a lot of fun there. You don’t even have to speak on the morning announcements to be a part of it! We do much more than that, like run the newspaper and manage the yearbook. There’s a place for everyone, Y/N, you won’t regret joining.”

Even now, he waves warmly from the seat next to you. You’ve been talking frequently these days, partially because he’s in quite a few of your classes and partially because he’s part of a group chat Yeonjun added you to. He’s interesting to talk to and he always makes you laugh, and being around him makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Like your initial observance, he’s a little weird and goofy too, but it makes him all the more delightful.

You’re not crushing on him, of course. He’s a nice person to pass the time with during and after school. Besides, your friends at home are much better; he’s just a placeholder.

“Have some cake, Y/N!” Soobin insists, pushing a plate toward you, “It’s mango flavored!”

You smile hesitantly as you pick up the spoon and take a bite. It tastes good and you hate admitting it because mango is a good flavor; you just don’t like being reminded of the sentiment that comes along with it. You gaslight yourself into thinking it’s strawberry and finish the plate quickly, downing your water bottle straight after.

“Was it good?” Beomgyu asks, his voice a little hard to hear due to the conversations of next week’s script being tossed around behind him, “I got it from a bakery near my house. We actually have a snack at every club meeting, and this week was my turn to bring it.”

“Yeah, it was good. I’m just not really fond of mango,” you respond, already cringing at the words coming out of your mouth.

“You don’t like mango? Who doesn’t like mango?” Beomgyu voices, responding exactly how you expected him to.

“Me. I just don’t.”

Beomgyu drops the topic at your insistence and talks about the club instead, introducing you to some of the members. Taehyun, the boy from the announcements, is president, and Soobin is vice president. You learn that Beomgyu does a little bit of everything, and you try not to smile as he blushes when his friends list out his talents.

“Is Yeonjun not part of the club?” you ask after he’s introduced you to one of the many Jaehyuns part of the management team, “you guys seem to be good friends.”

“He was initially, but he has modeling lessons on Thursday so he can’t make it. He’s more like an honorary member, to be honest, but he helps us out a lot.”

You hum in agreement, meeting another Jaehyun (why are they all so attractive?) and rounding the corner to talk to Taehyun.

“I’ll leave you with Tae. He’ll help you figure out which team you’re best suited for.”

Taehyun pulls out a chair for you as Beomgyu walks away, and you can immediately see why he’s president. He’s a little reserved but he’s domineering, and he seems perfect for managing things behind and in front of the scenes.

“So, Y/N, did you have anything in mind when you were joining?”

“No, not really. I’m not very talkative though, and I don’t know how to handle a camera.”

“Yeah, Beomgyu also mentioned those things. I think you’ll be a good fit for the newspaper, based on first impression. Editors mostly work on the scripts and I think you’ll find it interesting. Come, I’ll introduce you to the head.”

He introduces you to Yunjin, the girl from your math class, and she helps you get the editing software and drive set up. Yunjin tells you that she’s the type of person who has a lot to say, and writing is a powerful outlet for her because it allows her to explore topics she’s passionate about. You don’t exactly know if you relate to her thought process, but it does make you feel a little excited.

“Is Beomgyu also part of the editing team?” you ask, mainly out of curiosity because you saw him revising the script on Sunday.

“Ah, kind of. He floats around between everything so I guess I could say that he is. Would you like to read some of his work?” she asks, pulling out a newspaper article from a stack in the corner, “Last issue, he wrote the front page spread dissing the school lunch menu. It might seem silly, but it was actually a huge hit, and honestly, the food has even gotten better since.”

You skim through the newspaper, and the interactive, colorful parts draw your gaze in. Elements like the pie chart, bolded words, and quotes make the article worth reading, and you can already tell from skimming the text that Beomgyu is a good writer. You flip through the rest, reading the story headlines and noting that some are serious, some are current, and some are merely just for entertainment. Even throughout the rest of the spreads, you can tell the writers put effort into making sure the newspaper is actually catered to the student population, and you can already imagine yourself publishing an issue of your own in the near future.

“Since you’re new, you can help Beomgyu out with his new piece. Let’s take things slow, okay?”

You nod, turning to face Beomgyu. You don’t know what’s going on in that fascinating mind of his, but you’re excited to find out.

It’s been a busy few weeks since you’ve moved here. Unfortunately, school doesn’t slow down time for you, so you’ve had to handle piles of schoolwork on top of adjusting to your new environment, at school, and at home. Your aunt, for one, is double the amount of hyper your parents were, and it’s taken you a while to get adjusted to her presence. At least you’ve had Yeonjun to help you out.

The one thing that you’ve actually looked forward to at school is the broadcast club. Taehyun was right about you fitting the editor role, and you’ve grown to fit in quite well with the other members. Mainly, however, you spend most of your time with Beomgyu, often looking over his shoulder and bouncing off ideas he has and grammatical errors he needs to fix. The issue is a little satirical, making it fun to read, and you’ve enjoyed helping him out because he actually values your input and your experiences.

It's the reason why he invited you to come to school on Sunday. He thought working in a quieter environment would help you two brainstorm better, and you agreed. You’ve been busy all week working on collecting student opinions for him, and today, he hopes you two can get a significant portion of the article complete.

Unlike the first Sunday you were here, the air conditioning is actually on now, but you still feel a little sweat prickling at the top of your forehead. You’re nervous because this is the first time you’ve actually been alone with Beomgyu, without anyone else nearby to mitigate your nerves. You’re scared about screwing up in front of him, or even worse, floating off into dreamland, but hopefully, you’ll be able to concentrate on your work and keep your thoughts at bay. If anything goes wrong, you can just blame it on his sweet voice.

You’re at least thankful Yeonjun hasn’t caught wind of how you two met, because he would never stop holding it over your head.

You knock three times on the blue door and Beomgyu pulls it open, wearing a bright grin on his face. He’s in a hoodie and sweats, a little bit more casual than his school attire, but somehow it just makes him more attractive. Combined with his dimples, he resembles a teddy bear, and you’re honestly surprised he hasn’t joined the modeling industry like your cousin. He’d make so much money as a loungewear model, you just know it.

“Hey, come in! I just got here, so I’ve been working on some scripts for the next week. You can get your stuff sorted while I finish.”

You nod, pulling the papers out of your bag and opening your laptop. Your mission for the week was to interview students regarding the article. You don’t know if he’ll like them, but hopefully, you’ve got some good anecdotes for Beomgyu to include in his writing.

Or, apparently not.

“Beomgyu.”

“Hmm?” he asks, looking up from his paper.

“I accidentally grabbed Yeonjun’s bag. I left the data at home, I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe how stupid I am; how could I even forget something this important?”

“Hey, Y/N,”

“I just knew something was going to go wrong today, and I was so scared I was going to fuck things up and I did, and—”

“Y/N!”

You stop in your tracks, eyes wide and close to tears. You’re usually not this sensitive at all, but this means a lot to you, working with Beomgyu means a lot to you, and you don’t want to lose all of this over your stupidity and inattentiveness. However, Beomgyu looks far from angry, and he has his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them to calm you down.

“It’s okay. You’re all good. We have so much more time until the deadline, so don’t beat yourself up, okay? We can just hang out and have fun. Look, I even brought you some mochi from the corner store!”

He shows you the packet, and the bright yellow color is enough to have you burst into tears.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks, looking at the packet, “it’s mango flavored. Oh! You don’t like mango. I’m so sorry, it slipped my mind. Forgive me?”

You sniffle, bringing him into a hug. The mochi wrapper crinkles between you as you put your head on his shoulder, clutching onto him as a means to calm you down. Beomgyu stills for a moment, probably out of shock before patting your back, albeit awkwardly yet reassuring.

“Sorry,” you mumble, “I didn’t mean to have a breakdown like that. I just didn’t want you to hate me. And I’ll eat the mango mochi, don’t worry.”

“I could never hate you, Y/N.”

“You’ve only known me for a couple of weeks; how could you say that?”

“Because even in the short time I’ve known you, I can tell how much of an amazing person you are. You’re bright and talented, and I love spending time with you, so stop apologizing, okay? It was just an accident.”

“Okay, I will,” you whisper, stepping back, “So, what now?”

“We could finish the mochi, for starters.”

You nod as you open the wrapper and take a bite. It’s tasty, so much so that you hate it, and you’re honestly five seconds away from letting go of your stupid grudge just to enjoy some fresh mango. However, your parents have plagued you enough with the fruit on their phone calls, which seems to hold your desires back well enough.

You stand to your feet as Beomgyu beckons you to follow him, wanting to show you something. He lets you in through the small door leading to the glass panel room, and you’re immediately illuminated by the huge screens around you. So much technology surrounds you, from microphones to switches to headphones, but you’re more intrigued by the feedback noise that emits once Beomgyu twists a knob, similar to the one you heard when you first got here.

“Does it usually make that noise when you turn it on?” you ask, walking around the room.

“Yeah, it’s a little bit annoying. That’s why we have to keep it turned on before school starts.”

“I figured. I heard it when I came here with Yeonjun before my first day.”

Beomgyu turns to you with an expression of mild surprise.

“I think Soobin and I were here that day. You should’ve visited us.”

“We did. We talked to Soobin, but you were working on something so we didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Is that why you thought I was in your daydream the day after?”

You feel like you’re on fire, and you look away from him. You didn’t expect Beomgyu to be this perceptive, but it was probably your fault for walking straight into this.

“Umm. Yeah, kind of. It’s embarrassing,” you say, covering your face with your palms.

“It’s not,” he responds, tapping your shoulder, “it’s actually kind of cute. Now that you’re in this room with me again, will I be in another one of your daydreams? I loved feeling like a celebrity.”

You mentally shrivel in humiliation, cringing when he lets out a laugh. If Yeonjun is a tease, then Beomgyu is most definitely a menace.

You are extremely close to falling asleep.

Currently, you’re sunbathing on one of Yunjin’s many beach chairs. They’re colorful and the sun shines ever so gently on your face, so the setting is perfect for you to take a nap. Too bad you’re at a pool party and not in your backyard, and Yunjin just might murder you if you drift off to dreamland after all the hard work you’d put into setting things up.

It’s spring break, which means one whole week of warm sun rays and well-needed rest. The newest issue of the magazine was published yesterday, and particularly this time around, it seemed to be quite popular amongst the student population. The group decided to throw a party to celebrate all the hard work that’s gone into publishing, and what other location would it be at than Yunjin’s gigantic mansion?

You’re particularly proud of Beomgyu’s hard work because his spread was absolutely stunning, but he merely brushed it off and thanked you for helping him when you thanked him earlier. He can be calm and graceful like that at times, like a soft breeze. Now, however, you turn to your side to see him sipping a mocktail on the chair next to you, donned in sunglasses and shark-decorated swim shorts, the farthest thing from serene.

“What flavor is that?” you ask, your voice tinged with sleep, “Actually, never mind. It’s probably mango.”

He laughs, and it’s so, so pretty. If you had to pick one sound to hear for the rest of your life, you’d take your chances on that.

“It is, but it’s kind of watery. I’m gonna save it for later though,” he starts, turning to face the pool and pointing at Taehyun.

“What about him?” you ask, craning your head to see him lounging in the pool with a duck floatie.

“If I cannonball into the pool, just how drenched do you think he’ll be?”

Your cries are practically unheard as you watch Beomgyu jump into the pool, absolutely obliterating not only Taehyun but also poor, unsuspecting Soobin next to him. Ten minutes later, after receiving a well-deserved scolding from Taehyun and issuing apologies, Beomgyu slogs his way back to the chair on your left with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“That was definitely worth it.”

“It definitely was not,” you counter, sitting up and leaning against the back, “you’re literally such a nuisance. If I had known you were this terrible, I would not have become friends with you.”

“I mean, you technically didn’t choose. You can’t really help who you daydream about, right?”

You’re glaring daggers into him, but he’s cruel enough to still find the situation funny. You can’t believe he’s trying to hold back laughter even in this situation, but you probably shouldn’t have expected any better. Seriously, how did he go from the sweet-talker broadcast boy to the literal devil?

“Watch your words, or I will slice you up as I did to all the mangoes in Fruit Ninja last week.”

“Woah, chill,” he starts, putting his sunglasses back on and taking a sip of his watery mocktail, “why do you even hate mangoes? You talk about them as if they were your exes.”

“My parents left me here to start a mango business in Thailand,” you say, picking at the skin next to your thumbnail and wincing when it hurts.

Beomgyu spits out his drink in alarm, but you kind of saw it coming. You’ve noticed that he tends to exaggerate things a lot, but you guess it’s just part of his personality.

“Wow, that genuinely sucks. I’m really sorry; I shouldn’t have prodded.”

“It’s okay. I don’t tell people because it’s only temporary. I might not even be here next year.”

Two months ago, you would’ve been happy at the thought. Now, however, even mentioning it brings a pang of sadness to your chest. You’ve known your time here was momentary all along, so why do you feel guilty?

“Are you happy?” he says, his voice a lot quieter now, “I mean, would you want to stay here or go back?”

You want to tell him what you think is logical, and logically, your old home was much better than here. You practically grew up there, and the place suits you so well that you’re meant to be there. However, the words that rush out of your heart speak differently.

“I honestly don’t know. I like it here, but I like it there too. I’ll just enjoy my time here before I leave. I still have a while anyway.”

Beomgyu flips to the other side, away from your gaze before he speaks. If you weren’t listening carefully, you might’ve not been able to hear his words.

“I don’t want you to leave. I like it when you’re here.”

He sounds so soft and clingy that it almost makes you cry. Instantly, you know that no one has ever cared enough to share the same sentiment back at your old house.

Home. You should’ve called it home, but it doesn’t feel right anymore. You used to think that home was a physical feeling, a place where you were raised and nurtured. Home before was the walls of the building you spend the most time in, but now, it feels a little different.

No, home isn’t your old house. It isn’t your new house either, even if the beige has grown quite well to your liking. Home is sitting here on this beach chair, surrounded by your closest friends, and the feelings of warmth that surround you all. Home is an emotion, something you’ve never felt in the past years of your life until you moved here. Home is being surrounded by people who want you, just because you’re you and not because it would be convenient.

“I like being here too,” you whisper back, and although he has his back turned to you, you can still feel his smile.

“Then just tell your parents you want to stay here.”

You can’t tell him that your mindset has made you feel that this is all temporary. Ever since you moved here, you’ve felt like a ticking bomb, waiting for a single phone call to determine your fate. Once, you would’ve been able to answer that it’s where you belong. Now, you seem to question if it’s merely just an obligation.

“It’s not that simple, Beomgyu.”

He sighs, and as he turns back around to face you, you drape an arm over your eyes. You don’t want to feel the intensity of his glare, but even without your vision, you feel his eyes shooting daggers into your abdomen. If only life were as easy as being able to sense Beomgyu’s responses, for you would’ve been sipping margaritas on some island with your talents.

“Isn’t it? Or maybe, just maybe, you’re overcomplicating it.”

You sigh, unwilling to answer, and the conversation falls to a standstill. You hate thinking, especially about this, but eventually, Beomgyu’s words are going to catch up to you. Whatever the implications of this conversation are, you’re sure you won’t enjoy them.

Not one bit.

You’re walking home with Beomgyu a couple of days after break has ended, an unfamiliar scene for you. Usually, Yeonjun drives you home in his shiny car, but he had to stay back for some tutoring today and you were left ride-less. Thankfully, Beomgyu swooped in to save the day, saying he’d keep you company since he knew the route. You’d accepted quite freely, definitely because you didn’t want to rely on Google Maps and not because you liked spending time with him.

Spring is in full season, which means the walk home is filled with greenery and a lush breeze. You feel like something out of a Studio Ghibli movie, but as you turn to look at Beomgyu, you realize he’s more aptly fitted for the scenario.

His hair is fluttering slightly through the wind, and his side profile is so perfect that only an animation artist could’ve crafted it. Beautiful is the only word to describe him, and each glance you take becomes increasingly hard to look away from.

You like him. It’s not a realization that’s come from this moment, but rather a million moments beforehand. Whenever you try to pinpoint an exact moment, your mind runs blank, as if you were pre-programmed to have him in your heart since the beginning of your existence. You’d just been so immersed in convincing yourself that you didn’t that you never really accepted you did.

“Y/N,” you hear from his lips, “are you going to the spring dance?”

The spring dance is next week, and it’s all everyone has been talking about lately, especially Yunjin. Honestly, if the Jung Jaehyun asked you out (yes, you can finally differentiate between the multiple Jaehyuns), you wouldn’t shut up about it either, but you don’t have any interest in it otherwise. The only updates you hear are when you don’t tone out Yunjin in math (there’s only so much you can hear about his features), and you’re growing quite sick of the talk.

Mainly though, you’re just annoyed you have to go without a date. A certain someone always pops up in your mind when you think about the event, but you’re too shy to ask and he seems to be preoccupied with other things. Even if it’s going just as friends, you’d take the chance, but it doesn’t seem in your cards for the near future.

“Yeonjun is forcing me to. I’d much rather spend my Friday nights with a show, but it is what it is.”

“Oh, come on!” he protests, shaking his head, “it’s always super fun. You won’t regret coming.”

“I guess, but I don’t really know who to go with. Yeonjun has a date, and I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

Beomgyu fishes something out of his pockets and holds it out to you. Upon closer inspection, you realize it’s a rectangular mango drink, and you raise an eyebrow.

“I know, I know, but it’s still driving me crazy that you hate mango. I want to be the person that changes your opinion on it, okay? Whenever you think of mango, don’t think of your parents, think of me!”

You roll your eyes as you grab the drink and punch the straw in. You don’t want to admit it, but the gesture is sweet, and already your negative thinking is rewriting itself to include positive memories with Beomgyu.

“Whatever,” you say, attempting to take a sip out of the straw only to find it stuck, “is there something wrong with your straw? Mine isn’t working.”

“No, there isn’t,” he replies, confusion settling across his face, “is it blocked? There might be something inside.”

Sure enough, you peek through the hole to see something white stuck in the straw, and you try your hardest to pull it out with your fingers. The texture is a little rough and thin, almost paper-like, but sadly you fail to get it out.

“Can you actually not get it out?” he asks, looking worried.

“Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll just get another straw after I get home.”

“This cannot be happening right now.” he mutters, grabbing it from you and trying his hardest to squeeze out the object, “Of course I fucked this up.”

“Beomgyu, it’s okay. Relax. It’s not that big of a deal,” you respond, trying to calm him down after seeing him get this worked up, “it’s just a drink.”

“But it’s not! Ugh,” he says, frustrated as he pulls out his phone, “you were supposed to be able to pull out the paper.”

“What are you talking about?”

He passes over his phone to you, and there’s a picture of a small piece of paper on it. When you zoom in to get a better look at the writing on it, you gasp.

“It takes two to mango, so will you be my partner?” you read out loud, looking at Beomgyu.

He smiles awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re asking me to be your date for the dance? Oh my god, yes!”

You hug him tightly, pressing your head into the crook of his shoulder. You don’t know if his intentions behind this are friendly or romantic, but the mere thought of being together, even just for a night, has you reeling. You feel so, so giddy as if you’re already on the dance floor and swaying in his arms.

You feel him sigh in relief, hugging you back.

“I’m so sorry I fucked up everything. It was supposed to be super cute—”

“Don’t worry about it. Even if you just asked me the question, I would’ve been happy. It was so creative though; how’d you come up with it?”

“I, um. I searched it up,” he replies, and you hear the bashfulness in his voice, “I just wanted it to be meaningful enough to us. I know that it’s unoriginal, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Even just you researching to find something this creative is meaningful to me.” you answer honestly, “I’m saving that straw forever, I swear.”

He laughs, and you feel his chest vibrate against you. It’s a comforting feeling, one you’ll hopefully experience at the dance next week.

“I’m so excited. I can’t wait,” he whispers, pulling you in a little tighter.

“Yeah,” you whisper back, holding onto him, “Me too.”

The dance is a little lame, but being here with Beomgyu makes it worthwhile.

Seriously, if you’d come alone, you probably would’ve ended up sitting in the corner and munching on the brownies (they’re actually tasty, you can’t even deny it). However, Beomgyu has made it his personal mission for you to have fun, which is why he pulls you onto the dance floor to vibe with the beat of the song.

“This is so high school,” you mutter, feigning annoyance, “what song even is this?”

“I think it’s ‘Good Boy Gone Bad’ by TXT.”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

“Who cares? Stop being a downer and let loose a little.”

Contrary to your dislike, you do end up dancing. The song has a peppy beat and the two of you lose yourself in it, but even as you forget all of what occupies your brain, Beomgyu still remains in your head.

You’ll never forget the sparkling expression on his face when he saw your outfit as he picked you up from your house or the way he turned up your favorite song as you sped along to the venue. You would pay a million dollars just to relive that moment again, laughing at each other’s singing and enjoying each other’s company, but you realize that you don’t need to experience past moments with Beomgyu when he constantly makes better memories with you. With Beomgyu, you like living in the present, and he makes you forget about special days in the past you had coined as ‘the best day ever’ because nothing could compare to the feeling of being by his side like this.

The song ends, leaving you all woozy and excited, but the feelings quickly shift away when a much slower beat starts playing. You don’t even have to ask for the song name, because Beomgyu is already whispering it into your ear.

“’Fairy of Shampoo’ by the same artist. They’re pretty good, right?”

You move to nod, but the action is long forgotten as Beomgyu wraps his arms around your waist. He’s staring you in the eyes, a silent request for permission, and your response is wrapping your arms around his neck in a similar manner. You sway, and Beomgyu follows your lead, but this time around, the only thing you’re losing yourself in is his eyes.

The soft, angelic singing and chatter around you are muffled as if everyone in the room has disappeared except you and Beomgyu. You’re in a trance, with the perfect feeling of his arms around you as if they were always meant to be there. It’s so easy to will yourself away from everything to focus his gaze that you should be concerned, but one look at his eyes can confirm he’s in the same boat.

Maybe friends can ask each other out to dances. Maybe friends can slow-dance together. However, you find it hard to believe friends can look each other like this in the eyes and pretend they don’t feel anything.

Before you know it, the air grows hazy, and the only thing that makes your vision clearer is leaning in closer to Beomgyu. Or maybe that’s what’s making you crazy in the first place, but you don’t care because you’re trapped in the magnetic pull he emits that drives you closer, and closer, and closer. You’re close enough to notice the small moles on his cheek and the faint cologne he wears that smells like jasmine. You can’t even tell if you’re moving anymore because the only action you’re focused on is the fluttering of his eyelashes and the pursing of his lips.

It takes your brain a while to register what he says next because his voice is husky enough to be covered by the music, but the mere fact that his voice dropped three octaves has your mind spinning.

“Do you want this as badly as I do?”

Your throat is so parched you can’t even speak, but you don’t need words to imply what you want. You nod, the tiniest nod that if he wasn’t so focused, he wouldn’t have seen it, but his eyes are solely on you and that’s enough confirmation for him. The last thing you see is him leaning dangerously close before your eyes flutter shut, but the moment is ruined as your phone rings from your pocket and startles you both.

You fumble with the device as he clears his throat, leaning back, and with wide eyes, you see that it’s your mother calling. You’re cursing her mentally for calling at the worst possible time, but one look at Beomgyu has him motioning you off the dance floor.

“Take it; it’s probably important. I’ll be right here.”

You smile tightly before rushing off the dance floor, finding a place near the entrance that’s much quieter than the center. From this position, you have a straight view of Beomgyu in the middle, but you’re blocked by a sea of people surrounding him. It reminds you just how many obstacles you have between each other, and you mentally berate yourself for being so careless and almost kissing him before answering the phone.

“Hello? Mom?”

“Oh honey, hi! Your Auntie told me you were at some school dance, are you having fun?”

“I am,” you whisper back, just now realizing how much you miss your parents sending you off to these dances, “but I miss you a lot.”

“Actually, I called you about that!”

“What do you mean?”

“Our business here is doing so well that another company wants to buy us and give us a huge amount of shares. This means we can move back home and still make a profit!”

Your mom goes on about the logistics, but all you hear is white noise ringing through your ears. You knew this moment would creep up on you, but you just didn’t expect it so suddenly, especially after sharing such an intimate moment with Beomgyu. God, Beomgyu. How can you even begin to tell him?

“Mom, I have to go.”

“Of course, you must be busy! I’ll call you later, okay?”

Your fingers shake as you cut the call, tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. The room feels hazy once again, but this time, it feels suffocating. Your cheeks feel hot and you have no idea what to do, and all you can feel is Beomgyu’s gaze staring at you from across the room, boring into your eyes. All you can think is that he knows, and he hates you, and he’s going to feel so betrayed—

“Y/N? Are you okay?” you hear, and Yeonjun steps in front of you, blocking the connection between you and your crush.

“I- I need to go home. Please.”

You’re glad Yeonjun knows when to not be a nuisance, because all he does is nod wordlessly and clasp your palm, leading you to the car. You’re thankful that your cousin is actually a nice person deep down because he’s ditching his date and dropping his many it-boy moments just to take you home and let you cry on his shoulder. You try so, so hard not to look back because you know you’ll break down, but you can’t help what your heart wants. As you turn and make eye contact with Beomgyu, you see his confused and betrayed expression as he pushes past the people on the dance floor, but the crowd is too large, and he’s stuck between the masses. It’s bitter how these people once reminded you of obstacles, and now they’re exactly that, but you’re thankful because you’re sure you won’t be able to stop the tears if he talks to you right now.

As Yeonjun whisks you away in the dreary night, all you can hope is that Beomgyu remembers only the good moments between you, and not the worst. Maybe one day, just one, you hope he’ll forgive you, even though you know that you’ll never forgive yourself.

You have no heart to even attempt the history homework sitting on your desk.

It’s only been a week, but you feel like you went through five years of trauma from it alone. If it weren’t for Yeonjun, you would’ve locked yourself in your room the whole week and finished a bucket of ice cream. Instead, you showed up to class every day, draped in an oversized hoodie and making no means of eye contact with anyone. Any time you encountered Beomgyu, you tried your hardest to avoid it, even going as far as bargaining with your teacher to switch seats in history.

The only person you even talked to this week was your cousin. He was the only person you could confide in, probably because he was the only one who truly understood your current predicament. It’s silly, depending so much on the person who could use this as blackmail at any moment, but you have to say you’re a little grateful for him dragging you to school in the morning instead of leaving you to allow in the four walls of your bedroom.

However, even the motivation from Yeonjun can’t stop your bleeding heart. You feel like you’re going through hell and back, and with exams coming up your mind just isn’t in the right place. How long are you going to keep your homework sheets sitting on your table void of pencil markings? Even the mere act of reading the instructions has you tired, and all you can do is rest your head against the table and try not to let your thoughts drift off.

Even this homework reminds you of him. It reminds you of how you would goof off during your lectures, texting each other through the crevices of your desk, or how you would sit for long hours in the library and attempt to study, kicking each other’s feet beneath the table. Even now, you can hear him knocking on the door, asking you to open up and talk.

“Y/N, it’s Beomgyu!”

Okay, maybe that part isn’t your imagination.

Why is he even here? What business would he even want with you after you’ve wronged him so much? Your mind has no idea, but the only thing you’re listening to is your heart as you pull open the door and take in his presence.

He looks beautiful, like always. His existence is something that you want to cuddle into a ball and put in your pocket, yours to keep and cherish forever because he is simply the word soft personified. Today, however, he sports dark circles under his eyes and a paler shade of skin. What has made your teddy bear so sad? Is it your doing?

“Hi,” you whisper, and your hands itch to reach out and wrap him in a tight hug.

“Yeonjun told me what happened. I wanted to give you some space, but it’s torture without you.”

Now you’re confused. Why is he showing up at your door and giving you comfort? Isn’t he the one who has been wronged this whole time?

“You mean, you’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be? It’s not your fault you need to move back. Sure, I’m sad about it, but this isn’t something you can control, right?”

Now, nothing stops you or your conscience as you wrap your arms around him, furrowing into his familiar scent as tears escape your eyes. You’ve done a lot of hugging recently, but this time, it feels like an eternity has gone by. You never want to let go of him or this moment, and you can even feel your mind memorizing every aspect of this moment.

You guess Beomgyu makes you feel that way. Mind and heart combined, with no conflict.

“You always know what to say,” you point out, sniffling.

“I’d hope so; I have to do it every Monday.”

You laugh, although it’s choked and dry from your crying, but as your head moves, you hear a crinkle from his back pocket.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, um,” he starts, grabbing the object out of his pocket, “they’re mango popsicles. I was going to try and bargain with you if this didn’t work out.”

“Hmm, well, I’m not really convinced yet,” you joke, motioning him to follow you and sit on your bed as he rolls his eyes.

Silence ensues for the next couple of seconds as you both open the wrappers and enjoy the delicacy. The flavor doesn’t even bother you anymore, because now when you think of mango, you think of Beomgyu. You think of his sweetness, his humor, and his bright sunshine personality that matches the color of the delightful fruit.

“Oh, Y/N, you have some juice dripping down your chin,” Beomgyu notices, pointing to the area.

“Where, here?” you ask, patting the left side and feeling its dryness, “or a little higher?”

“No, I- here,” he says, leaning closer with his thumb and brushing off the liquid.

You want to thank him, but as you look up into his eyes, you realize how imperceptibly close you two are. Suddenly, you’re thrust back to a week ago when you were in his arms, leaning into each other until you could feel his breath upon yours, but this time, there’s nothing stopping you. No phone, no crowd, and most importantly, no insecurities come between you two now, and your mind is clear as you lean in and latch your lips upon his.

If you were unsure of what mango meant to you before, you’re definitely sure it will remind you of Beomgyu now, because all you can taste is the mango on his lips. It’s like your mind has gone into overdrive as you move closer, and you can vaguely register him using his free hand to palm the back of your head and tilt it up. The atmosphere doesn’t feel hazy anymore; instead, it feels shy and awkward, as if you were two lovers learning the world together. Like everything with Beomgyu, it feels right, just so right, and you never want to leave because you are his wholeheartedly, and he is yours.

Until you register what’s happening, of course.

You pull away quickly, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Beomgyu’s lips are puffy, and you’re sure yours must mimic a similar appearance, but that’s the least of your worries.

“Beomgyu, I—”

“I love you,” he breathes out, and his voice is light and airy as if he can’t hold in the words anymore, “I love you so much that it kills me you’re leaving. I don’t know how to fix this pain, but what I can say is that I’ll try my hardest to be by your side. Every day I’ve spent with you has been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, and being without you this past week has made me realize how much light will disappear from my life if you leave. I’ll take you in any way you’ll let me, even if it’s through late-night calls or sparse texts. Please be mine, please.”

He's begging you now, holding your hands within his and clutching tightly, but even the words you want to say are trapped in your throat. You can’t do it to him. You can’t force him to love you thousands of miles away and look forward to you when he has a whole future ahead of him. You may be burdened by the ghosts of your past, but he isn’t, and you can’t deprive him of the one thing that makes himself him: his sunshine.

“I’m so sorry Beomgyu. I can’t put you in that position.”

Even the tears that once hesitated to fall now escape freely as he nods, cradling your cheek. After all that’s happened, he’s still so understanding, and even though he has a tight smile on his face, he keeps on a brave front for you.

“I knew you would say that. It’s okay, we can just enjoy the last of our days together.”

“Don’t hold yourself back for me, alright?” you whisper, wiping the stray tears that you don’t want him to see.

He notices the tear stains on your cheeks anyway, wiping the wetness with the pads of his thumbs. You notice he doesn’t respond, but at this point, he doesn’t need to. Even though you’ve warned him against it, you know without a doubt that he’ll always be waiting for you, even with all your uncertainty.

The last bell of the year rings, but as your classmates bustle around you with joy and laughter, you don’t know what to feel.

Moving is a funny concept. You leave behind everything you know just to start anew, but unlike most people, you’ve finally gotten the chance to go back to the past. Your old friends, your old family, your old life. Months ago, you would’ve jumped for this opportunity, as many others would in your situation, but now you’re experiencing a bittersweet emotion. You can’t even deny it: this place has had a tremendous impact on you through the experiences it put you through, the people it made you meet, and the emotions it caused you to feel. Even just thinking about going away leaves a pang in your heart, but you suppose life is about these occurrences, whether they’re sad or happy, and you’ll just have to persevere through it like you always do.

You’re walking out to the parking lot when Beomgyu joins you. You’ve still been talking even after the dreaded incident weeks ago, especially since you studied together for exams, but your relationship since you rejected him hasn’t been the same. It’s like you’re tiptoeing around with each other, waiting for one another to break, but you’ve already broken before so you don’t know why it feels so fragile. Maybe it’s the tension in the air around your departure or the lack of definition within your relationship, but either way, it feels suffocating.

At least you’re grateful he hasn’t shut you out yet.

“So, how was your last day of school?” you hear, but this time you focus your eyes on the ground instead.

It feels too weird to look at him. It’s like you don’t have permission to admire his beauty anymore, so you rarely ever make eye contact with him. Instead, you focus on the gum he’s chewing, the one you know is mango-flavored but always so bitter. Maybe it was a sign you two were never meant to be.

“It was good. You know, tiring as always, but I’m glad it’s over.”

“Yeah, I get it. Are you going back home soon?”

Honestly, your parents haven’t been super transparent with you, but from their calls, you assume that you still have well into the summer before you move out. They sound busy wrapping up things, and they haven’t given you an exact date, but they have promised you they’ll be here soon. Like all things in your life, even your parting is uncertain, and that’s what you tell him.

“So, what I hear is that I can still terrorize you over the summer.”

You laugh, but it’s forced and uneasy. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, but honestly, you’ve gotten a little too used to it by now.

“I guess you could, Gyu.”

He stops you in your tracks by stepping in front of you.

“Look, I know we’re a little awkward right now, but I feel like I have to say this, or I’ll never get the chance. I’m so honored to have been your friend, and I’m going to miss you a lot. Like, a lot a lot. I’m sorry for putting you in so many awkward situations, but I hope you can remember the good parts when you think of me.”

You sigh, patting his head. If you were on good terms with him, you would’ve gifted him a hug, but you hope the small gesture can do your feelings enough justice.

“I’m gonna miss you too. A lot a lot,” you mimic, watching him smile, “so text me often, okay? I’m sorry for making things awkward too.”

He shakes his head, willing to argue in your favor, but before he can even start a car horn sounds from the parking lot. You crane your head to see a familiar vehicle, one that’s accompanied you throughout your lifetime, except this time, it’s adorned with a painted mango on the side.

“Mom? Dad?”

Your parents step out of the car, and your legs are moving you towards them before you can even register it. Video calls don’t do their beautiful faces any justice, and it feels so surreal as you stop in front of them, waiting for them to just be a figment of your imagination.

“Hey, sweetie,” your dad says, and that’s all it takes before you’re leaning into his touch, burrowing yourself into him as you would often do when you were a little kid.

You forgot how much pain you felt when they left you here. All this time, you’ve suppressed it, and only at night when you were in your room, half-asleep and overthinking, did you let your tears come to bay. You wanted to be strong for them because everything they did was for you, but it was hard not to lose sight of their eventual return and get lost in the lifeless emotions associated with their disappearance every waking day that passed. It took every ounce of strength in you to pick yourself up every day and pretend like you were fine, but although there were many factors that helped you mitigate those feelings, none of them could truly ever make the ache ebb away.

“Why are you here? I thought it would be a while,” you ask after you’ve calmed down and properly reunited with them, “are we moving back soon?”

“Actually, about that… we’ve changed our minds a little bit.”

Your mom holds your face in her palms, pinching at the skin on your cheek ever so slightly.

“Your aunt told us how happy you are here, and how you’ve grown so much from moving here. I know that losing your parents so suddenly must’ve had a huge impact on you, but if this place helped you with those struggles even just a little bit, then it must be worth staying here. We thought that you might like it if we stayed here permanently. What do you think?”

You can’t believe it. It’s as if the world has deafened and all you can hear is the ringing echoing through your ears because what they’re saying sounds too good to be true. Moving here? Permanently? Is life playing some sort of cruel joke on you?

“You aren’t joking, right?” you whisper, and all your parents can do is laugh as they shake their heads.

They say that your life flashes before your eyes as you die, but right now, all that flashes through your eyes are the memories you’ve made in your seemingly short time here. You remember sitting shotgun in Yeonjun’s car as he annoyed you on the way to school, texting Yunjin during math while you two try not to fall asleep, and teaming up with Taehyun while wreaking havoc on poor Soobin.

However, most importantly, you remember Beomgyu. From the curve of his lips to the rings on his fingers, from the walks home you’ve shared to your first and last kiss in your very bedroom, he’s always been with you wholeheartedly. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since that very first day when the boy with dark curls caught your watercolor eyes, and for the foreseeable future, you don’t think you’ll be able to stop.

When you turn to look back at him, he’s there. He’s always there, waiting for you no matter how far you go. Even if he is just a speckle in the distance, just the size of an atom, you are his nucleus and he revolves around you, chasing you until he breaks down into a black hole of nothing. Even now, as you stare at him from the parking lot, one look at you tells him everything he needs to know. He’s here, here before your eyes in a matter of seconds, and as your parents ask him who he is, you know that only the most perfect boy would respond with such a beautiful answer as he directly addresses you.

“I’m whoever you want me to be.”

You shake your head, unable to hide the smile that flits across your face. After a long, long time of shying away from Beomgyu, you’re finally ready to embrace the feelings he brings you, whether tears or smile lines.

“This is Beomgyu, my lover.”

Your bedroom is still bare with your whole life packed into boxes once again, but at least this time around, your walls are painted yellow again. However, instead of a sunny yellow, they’re more of a mango color, your mom going even as far as to say it’s the exact same hue as the mangoes they grew in Thailand, fresh and ripe. Honestly, you’re just glad you’re not sitting within the depressing beige color again, because why did you even convince yourself it made you happy?

What’s not fresh is the old carpet you and your boyfriend are sitting on, but sometimes you can appreciate the old things too. In fact, it’s somewhat comfortable as you lie in his arms, sprawled across the carpet with no looming future dangling over your head. It’s just you, your other half, and nothing more, enjoying your well-deserved summer break weeks after school has ended.

“I’m not ready for school,” you complain, liking the feeling of being illuminated by the bright sun peeking through your blinds, “I like sitting around doing nothing. Imagine how hectic it would’ve been if I actually moved back.”

Your statement is only half-true though, because there are many things awaiting you once school starts that you’re actually very excited for. For starters, you get to have your own article published in the newspaper, and you have a slight inkling as to what it’s going to be about. Also, you have many wonderful friends who will make your life a lot easier, so even though school is school, at least you’ll have amazing people by your side. Really, you’re just complaining for no reason.

“I’m just glad we won’t have to throw you a farewell party. I don’t think Taehyun or Soobin would’ve let me near Yunjin’s pool again.”

You smack his chest lightly, and he laughs, curling in closer to lay your head against his chest. You really should be unpacking your things, at least, that’s what you told your parents you’d be doing, but you can’t pass up the chance to cuddle with Beomgyu every time you get it. You both have been pining for each other for far too long anyway, so why waste any more time?

“Y/N!” you hear from outside the door, “I brought you food!”

You get up to let your mom in, but Beomgyu is already five steps ahead of you. Your mom gives him a warm smile because seemingly, your parents seem more smitten with him than you are. You can’t really blame them though; who doesn’t like Choi Beomgyu?

“Thank you for the mango, auntie!” he responds, and of course, the endearment has her reeling.

“I thought you two would be hungry after working hard,” she says, leaning over to peek through the gap between him and the door, “but it seems you two have done nothing at all. Oh well, you can eat it anyway. You have all the time in the world.”

You two really do, because as you make yourselves cozy on the carpet once more, bowls of mango in hand, it feels like time has taken a pause after all the misery it has put you through. You eat the slices wholeheartedly as you think, with Beomgyu brushing off the juice that escapes your mouth occasionally when the piece is too big. You’re glad that time is moving slowly because you want to savor every moment you have with him. He deserves it, and so do you.

“We should really start setting things up,” Beomgyu starts, “How long are you going to sleep with just four yellow walls and no decoration? That would be so depressing.”

“Hey, at least it’s less depressing than beige walls,” you grumble, “but even just being here makes me content enough to fall asleep. I have nothing to worry about this time around, especially when you’re just five minutes or a phone call away.”

Mere seconds pass before he’s leaning in to place a kiss on your lips, and of course, everything about him tastes extremely mango. Your malice for the fruit is far gone now, far, far gone because not only are your parents back, but also because Beomgyu is the only thing you think about when reminded of the flavor. However, your rollercoaster feelings for the fruit are the last thing on your mind as you lean in closer, placing the mango bowl beside you.

“You still hate mango, baby?” he whispers between kisses, and it takes everything in you to pull him back, reminding him that you two are supposed to be unpacking and not making out.

“Answer the question,” he whines, a cute little pout on his face that makes you five seconds away from forgetting your very own warning and kissing him breathless again.

“No, I don’t,” you finally answer, grabbing his hand and interlacing it with yours, “I love it now.”

He grins, and you decide to succumb to your desires, forgetting all sense of rationality when it comes to him as you press a kiss to his lips again.

“I love mango just as much as I love you.”

#text #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu #txt #txt x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu angst #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu blurbs #choi beomgyu angst #choi beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu scenarios #kpop x reader #kpop #kpop angst #kpop fluff #tomorrow x together #txt fluff #txt angst #txt imagines #txt scenarios

[ick25]

My favorite movie Wukongs.

Journey to the West fans love to see the monkey king represented or even mentioned in different media, there are so many versions of the character that its hard to decide which one is the best or who even is the most accurate to the novel. A lot of people grew up with Journey to the West cartoons and tv shows from China or Japan which has many of the most iconic and beloved versions of Wukong. However, this was not the case for me, my exposure to the Monkey King was when I was a teenager, when I decided to read the novel after noticing so many mentions of the character in different shows.

Aside from the recent Lego Monkie Kid, which has the cutest version of Wukong I've ever seen, I noticed that there is almost no other recent shows or movies that are successful in introducing this legendary monkey to American audiences.

So instead of shows, I'm gonna be talking about recent movies, and with the new Monkey king movie out in Netflix, I thought it would be the best time to share my thoughts about the different versions of the character in movies where Sun Wukong is the main character or is important to the plot, both animated and live action, from worst to best.

*Spoiler Warning if you want to watch these movies by yourselves.

10. Monkey is back (2021)

I have this habit of watching every movie the has the Monkey king in it, that is how I came across this one. Unfortunately, it was the most confusing and boring movie I had ever watched.

Wukong is called the Ling Ming Stone Monkey here, and he is a deity who already has people praying to him. He is turned into a human without magic and stays like this almost the entire movie.

This version of Wukong is strangely mild mannered, and just like me, he is seemingly lost through out the movie.

So many things happened in this movie that it was hard to keep track of what was going on, and it made me ask myself, when is this movie set? Before or after Journey to the West? And what did that ending mean?

9. The immortal demon slayer (2017)

I thought this movie was gonna be the last one in my list until I saw Monkey is Back. Before that, the Immortal demon slayer was the movie I actually hated for how they treated my boy by making him a human without any magic! T T

Just like in the previous movie, Wukong is a magicless human, and all he has is his martial art skills and Jingu Bang (his iron staff) to protect himself, but even Jingu Bang loses its abilities halfway through the movie. The story is basically him and a group of immortals getting stranded in the mortal realm, and have to learn to work together to save a village from a demon.

This version of Wukong is grumpy and a little tsundere because he has this potential romance going on with one of the stranded immortals. Near the end, Wukong finally returns as the super powerful monkey who beats up everyone in heaven.

The movie finally got interesting at the end, but by that point it was already to late for me to forgive the movie's boring story.

The battle at the end between Wukong and Erlang Shen with his newly acquired third eye, was the only thing I liked, that, and the adorable French bulldog that appears with little fake bat wings!

8. Monkey King: Hero is back (2015)

Not a fan of this design.

It was a cute movie, but it was lacking in so many areas. This Wukong is a legendary hero that is known by the humans. After being sealed for 500 years he seems to have lost his powers, so now he is just some grumpy tall monkey through out the movie, and I don't blame him, because he becomes a babysitter for two literal children.

Pigsy appears in this movie and he is almost entirely accurate, personality and all, but Wukong looks so weird that I forget he is a monkey, he is strangely tall, has that Chad chin, and he doesn't even have a tail, and those little monkey feet he has makes me laugh every time I see them, its like he has stumps for legs.

The reason this movie isn't lower is because it does a better job of conveying what the Monkey King is all about compared to the previous movies. The intro of the movie was pretty good.

7. New Gods: Nezha Reborn (2021)

In this futuristic world, Wukong has an important role, training the reincarnation of prince Nezha. He starts out as some cooky old man wearing a creepy mask wanting to buy Nezha's bike, but later reveals himself after saving the boy from some demons. He teaches Nezha how to use his powers and watches over him till the end of the movie.

I like this version of Wukong because it shows how wise he really is, many versions have him seem naive or even dumb, but he is actually very clever in the novel. He is also visibly old which makes sense, old monkey has been around for more than 500 years after all.

To protect his identity, he calls himself the Six Eared Macaque, who was known for copying Wukong's power and technique, but its canon that Wukong did kill Macaque during his journey to the West, so sorry Shadow Peach shippers.

Also, those little monkey clones he makes are super adorable.

6. Monkey King Reborn. (2021)

Ah yes, the movie with the edgy Wukong and where the whole group is killed near the end... But comes back to life again.

Yeap, this movie was a rollercoaster of emotion, but it does a great job at setting up the tone of the original novel and its world building.

This Wukong is edgy and mischievous, his relationship with the Tripitaka was short but very cute, I wished it was explored more, but this movie just gives us the second best thing, Wukong putting up with an adorable little baby who is just another version of Tripitaka's soul or something.

This Wukong is powerful and has a really bad temper like the original, but he still lacks that charm and sense of humor that makes the Monkey King so memorable.

And, what did they do to Sandy?!

I swear, they never seem to get Sandy right in most movies.

5. The Forbidden Kingdom. (2008)

I have a soft spot for this movie, not only was it the movie that introduced the Monkey King to my family (Who I was already a fan of), but it also made me give the novel a try, and now I freaking love it!

The story is a retelling of how the Monkey King was trapped for 500 years in a mountain, the villain being a Jade Warlord who turns him into stone, but Wukong manages to saves his Jingu Bang by sending it to the mortal realm. A teenage boy from the future gets isekaid to ancient China after touching Jingu Bang where he meets a young Jackie Chan who tells him that he must release the monkey king from his prison by returning him the golden staff so he can go back to his own world.

The Monkey King's appearance in the movie was short but memorable, maybe because he was played by Jet Lee who is not known for laughing and smiling very often. I think he does a good job portraying the character, he is strong, skillful, and very clever, but very trusting of his own abilities which is the reason he left his guard down and got turned into stone.

4. Journey to the West 2; The Demons strike back. (2017)

A movie that gives Wukong so many different appearances that I don't know what he even looks like anymore. Shapeshifting is something very common in journey to the West, so it makes sense that Wukong can look any way he wants. First we have this human form where he looks like a stinky hobo fed up with life who barely obeys or cares for his new master.

Then we have this form where he has golden hair covering his body which I thought was his real appearance.

But then we get this nightmarish thing that looks more like a demonic monkey with bright red eyes like in the novel.

And none of these forms are even close to what he looked like in the prequel, but I'll get to that later.

This movie is a comedic retelling of the story, so many crazy things happen in this movie. Aside from the fact that Tripitaka punishes Wukong by whipping him, their interactions are pretty funny, specially because Wukong wears a magic ring on his head that used to belong to a woman the monk fell in love with in the previous movie, so he thinks about her every time he looks at him.

But it's also kind of messed up because Wukong was the one who killed her in front of him so...

3. Monkey King; Havoc in Heaven's Palace. (2014)

The movie summarizes the first 6 chapters of the novel that are all about Wukong's life, from seeing how he was born from a magical rock, to the reason he attacked heaven. Wukong starts out as a sweet and naive monkey who is curious and very playful, and he even has a little love interest. However, instead of just getting angry and causing trouble in Heaven, Wukong is fooled my the Bull demon king who tells him that the Jade emperor destroyed his home in flower fruit mountain and even killed his love interest. So naturally, Wukong picks a fight with heaven, the bull demon is discovered, and our protagonist humbly accepts his 500 year punishment from the Buddha, until the actor was re-casted in the sequel.

I like how nice this Wukong was, but not how the havoc in heaven wasn't entirely his fault. He was manipulated and still got punished for the misunderstanding. Wukong is not evil, but he isn't completely innocent either, which brings me to my next pick.

2. Journey to the West: Conquering the demons. (2013)

This guy right here is a hilarious representation of how the Monkey King is described in the novel.

The movie is about the Tripitaka before becoming a monk, and is instead a "demon hunter" who tries to subdue demons by being nice and singing to them. He encounters Sandy, and then Pigsy who are terrifying man-eating demons. Sandy is captured by a woman who is a real demon hunter and who falls in love with Tripitaka, Pigsy manages to escape, but is then captured after being lured into a trap set by the two humans and Wukong, who was still trapped in a mountain.

Wukong once again looks like a dirty hobo, only this time he is crazy looking and bold, but after he fools Tripitaka into removing the seal from the mountain, he shows his true form in all his glory. He appears with his golden armor and head piece along with some fancy decorations, three demon hunters appear and make fun of him saying how short, ugly and skinny looking he is.

I love this because that is exactly how the novel describes him. Needless to say, Wukong completely obliterates the three of them easily and without remorse, and to make matters worse, he even kills the girl who Tripitaka finally confessed he was in love with.

I know I keep saying how he is not evil, but we have to remember that he was a demon, a man-eating one even, so he naturally seems evil to us because he sees humans as insects that are not worth his time, you know how many people he killed in the novel? He even killed a guy just because he called him a ghost!

The sequel did a better job of making a Journey to the West story, and with better visual effects, but this demonic version of the monkey king and how he was stopped by the Buddha was the most accurate depiction I've seen of the character.

Monkey King 2 and 3. (2016)

This is my favorite movie Wukong!

For some reason they changed the actor from the first movie, but I guess it was because of how his personality completely changed in the sequel.

These movies are the best representation of the novel, Wukong is a badass and the one who has to do everything because Tripitaka is a moron and the other two disciples are really bad at their job.

The day he met Tripitaka he asks the monk if he doesn't want him to protect him, Tripitaka being a coward says no and Wukong took this opportunity to yell at the heavens and zoom out of there, only to find out immediately that they are being forced by the gods to travel together, like it or not.

This Wukong is clever, intimidating, selfish and a little grumpy, but he still likes to play around and he does take his job of protecting Tripitaka very seriously.

I admit I also find him a little attractive, just look at those muscles!

So what are your thoughts about these movie Wukongs? Do you agree with this list? Who is your favorite Monkey King?

#sun wukong #journey to the west #top 10 #jttw monkey king

[rose926]

To be honest, I never post on Tumblr, but I just wanted to talk a little bit about this Helluva Boss show.

I recently watched all the episodes and read a lot of the episodes’ comments, and holy crap, the people in the comments are either blind, refuse to be up-front, or care for lousy shows. I read comments stating bullshit like “I love this new Striker villain” or “Blitzo’s backstory keeps getting more interesting. Just like this show” or “I’m so glad Stolas stood up to his wife. He’s the best character.” After reading a bunch of these flat admirations with no real substance, I'm curious if me and the comment section just watched the same video. To me, the show felt very lacking and unprofessional. I couldn't wrap my head around where all of this praise was exactly coming from. 

Overall, I do not understand what this show is trying to truly be. The pilot made it seem like a workplace comedy, yet the latest season two episode had the impression of a childish drama. It appears that Vivziepop isn’t aware that there is a way you can make characters interesting or empathetic, without transforming (given the appearance of the pilot) a sitcom into a fanfiction film and adding misinterpreted character trauma and abuse. Or rather she just doesn't have the creativity or skill to undertake another “realistic” way for the audience to relate to her characters. 

Another example of this victimizing route of pity, is in Hazbin Hotel’s “Addict” music video. In the video, Vivziepop anticipates the viewers to feel curious about Angel Dust's past and feel empathy for him. According to the music video, Angel gets sexually raped by his boss during his occupation as a stripper, and he suffered some mental breakdown of sorts. This certain “trauma tool” of earning character compassion that Vivziepop uses is extremely nonsensical, ineffective, and amateurish. I firmly didn’t give a shit about one thing that was happening in the music video, considering it felt so juvenile. In fact, I recall turning my phone off halfway through. 

In general, the mature concepts of Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are flung around without any real thought behind them, other than to make it appear as an adult animated show and intend for character depth. Sorry, but swearing, sex, abuse, substance abuse, and gore, doesn’t automatically makes a supposed adult show HEARTILY for adults. You want to appeal to adults? Well then, I would start by trying not to partially exploit and mishandle mature concepts. This is not all my own nitpick, but the one I recognize others may have when watching. I can definitely see how certain people may get offended by the show in the regard of maltreatment to said concepts. Not everyone, just particular fully-fledged people.

Regardless, I think Vivziepop taking the turn she did in the latest Helluva Boss episode is bad for the show’s continuation. I doubt she had deeply thought ahead about where to take this show before introducing attempted story complexity with season two’s episode. If that is the case, Helluva Boss will become farther wonkier than it is thus far. I’m no genius, but I’m sure one would need to be absolutely positive where you want to take your story, characters, and plot during elaborate story fabrication. If not, then your entire narrative will get hopelessly lost and lose sense. Knowing Viv’s writing, I don’t think she has the ability to brainstorm both previously and profoundly, and logically connect the dots within the episodes.

In my opinion, I think Helluva Boss should be manifested as an erratic, doltish, (yet charismatic) comedy sitcom. The show takes place in literal hell. If I was in charge, I would make the world enticing by its vast oddity, and ludicrous hellfire anguish. When people think of hell, they think of torture. Where even is the hellish part of Vivziepop’s version of hell?

Of course, Vivziepop can take the show wherever she desires, but that’s how I think it would work best and be the most interesting. 

Similar to what I aforementioned, my belief is that Vivziepop is heading into things that she does not fully understand how to handle with her poor script writing. As the show progresses, more people may realize that she isn’t capable of running a thorough tv show. I mean, the first three episodes were convoluted as fuck so early. Therefore, it isn’t a big surprise that she was a pretty incompetent showrunner far before the latest episode. What I’m trying to say, is that she was always incompetent. It will probably just become more evident over time to some of the people who aren’t currently grasping it. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are things in Helluva Boss that are done right, and hell, the idea had great potential. However, the things that the show is rather successful in doing, is overshadowed solely by the writing and inconsistency. No offense to Viv, but I am 16, and I believe I could write just as good of a script (if not better) for at least half of the episodes that are out. 

Maybe some people genuinely are interested in the show, despite if they see the frailties, and that is fine. Although, the amount of mollycoddling this show (that is clearly far from perfect) gets is absurd. It is not an opinion that this show is not very well done, it is a fact. The fans need to stop overindulging Helluva Boss and start giving it some honest pros and cons, otherwise Viv will not be able to recognize and fix what it is that’s broken. That’s the only way this show may get better; straightforward criticism. If the fans that see the faults keep on spoon feeding their umpteen kindnesses on a show that doesn’t require it in its ongoing state, it’s incredibly plausible Helluva Boss will grow a poor reputation, even beyond its fanbase. 

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #anti vivziepop #vivziepop #vivziepop critical

[cottoncloud0]

little hope review *SPOILERS*

i was gonna write this ages ago and i literally forgot about this lmao but i promised the two people who are interested in these reviews that i would write another and tbh i find these really fun lol.

(reminder that this review is in no way professional, it is just my personal opinion and a bit of fun)

(side note i will only be talking about the theatrical cut)

PROLOGUE

this prologue was really interesting for me, both parts. i love that they didnt actually show any of the bus driver and it gave a really good mysterious aspect to the town of little hope, especially with the state trooper warning the bus driver about the town.

omg i cant even begin to say how much i enjoyed the second part of the prologue. the character building of the 80s family is so good. it established the dynamics of the group brilliantly without it being too obvious what the actual plot will be. i also likes that it kind of left you in the dark of whats going on, almost connecting itself to the first part of act one.

quick side note, i just learned that the choice you make on how tanya should escape the fire (going down the drainpipe or going through the window) directly affects taylors and tabithas deaths e.g if you chose the drainpipe like i did taylors demon will be the hanged demon and tabitha will be hanged and if you chose the window taylors demon will be the burned demon and tabitha will be burned at the stake.

ACT ONE

if im being completely honest i really didnt like taylor in the beginning lol. but i think thats a good thing. i mean its boring as fuck to play a game where you like every single character and none of them have flaws (this is also why i have a mixed relationship with locked traits but ill talk about that later).

okay lets talk about the pacing. when i first played little hope i thought that by the time i finished act one i thought i had ALSO finished act two. i think that says everything that needs to be said.... but seriously act one was way too long. this seems to be a theme in the early dark pictures games, like i said in my man of medan review.

i do think that the introductions to the characters were done really well though because even though almost of the characters had relationships previously to the game you could still develop or break any of them during the game. even when youre still in the first few chapters you can affect ,for example, taylor and daniels relationship drastically only with a few choices.

(i know this because i accidently got their relationship to like under halfway with like three choices 😭)

ACT TWO

what do you mean the supposed main bit of the story is the shortest section in the game? what do you mean it has less than half of the amount of chapters act one has? WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

in all seriousness, i completely forgot about some of the chapters in this act like 'lost' and 'troubled history' but on the other hand it also gave us one of the most memorable chapters in the game 'surrounded'. this is actually baffling to me because how do you make the most boring sections of the game immediately move onto one of the chapters i enjoyed most? its just quite inconsistent so now in my memory i can only really remember the bus crash, the bridge, the church and the house. and can i just add that only one those segments is in act two, which i think is supposed to be the main part of the story.

although, i did really enjoy the demons in this act and i think the developers did a great job of introducing the demons (the only gripe i have with it is that they were introduced quite late into the story but i think i feel that way because act one was so long and the demons were only introduced in the ending chapter of act one). i feel its a massive improvement to man of medan when they were trying to introduce two threats at the same time with one taking a backseat almost as fast as it was introduced.

i also liked how all the characters got back together about halfway through act two and in a completely natural way as well. it doesnt feel forced or rushed it just feels normal and how i would expect a group of terrified civilians to act with each other.

ACT THREE

there seems to be a pattern in all of the acts in little hope. forgettable first halfs and memorable and incredibly fun second halfs. act three is no different.

i think the fact that i could remember almost everything that happened in the ending but i had to go back on the chapter wikis to remember any of the first two chapters says a lot.

honestly the start of this act just feels like a plot extender and an extra opportunity to get people killed. BUT THE ENDING OF THIS ACT I LOVE <3. i like that i takes a quick break from running away from the demons to develop the mary storyline (which i will ALSO talk about later) and the choices you make really do matter and they actually make the players think about the choices theyre making because the 'right' answer isnt clear throughout the game so youre really left in the dark and have to make the call completely off your own accord.

quick final bit before we get onto the ending, but i also love the segment when everyone is running away from their respective demons and john and angela are the last one out there. the reason i love this section so much is because it can really define how angela is as a character or how you want to play her, which can also affect the ending.

right. time to talk about 'full circle'. i dont think words could describe how fucking annoyed i was when i had kept everyone alive right until this chapter only for taylor and john to be killed because of a mechanic that i didnt even know existed. AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THERES MORE PEOPLE WHO EXPERIENECED THIS.

the locked traits mechanic is very cool, trust me, but the fact that it was never ,at least, given some hints that it would be the decider of the characters fate and that they were something that genuinely matter.

at first i thought that they were just pre-determined flaws that each character had lol.

THE END

little hope has a total of seven endings and i do actually want to touch on a few of them because holy shit some of them are insane 😭

the ending i got was: vince called the police and another protagonist was alive. this resulted in andrew being revealed to be anthony (like in all endings) and being taken away in a police car as it is also revealed that the other protagonists (in my case daniel and angela) were hallucinations.

i get why some people would hate this ending, i do too, only because the previous game also had the exact same plot twist??? and that is just so uncreative that they couldnt figure out a different ending to give to one of the games. in my opinion if they DID actually give a new ending to man of medan or little hope i would 100% want it to be man of medan, which i can now confidently say is my least favourite game made made by supermassive.

quick side note, ending 5 is fucking insane and if you got it on your first ever playthrough i would have loved to see your reaction lol.

for those who dont know what the fuck im talking about ill give a quick summary of ending 5.

to get this ending vince must have not have called the police, andrew has the gun and it has at least one bullet in it and mary had to have been excecuted. after the initial cutscene, andrew aims the gun at his temple. megan then appears behind andrew and screams at him, causing him to shoot himself. After it was revealed that andrew was anthony/the bus driver all along, his corpse is shown laying at the doorstep.

like what the fuck.

RANDOM SHIT

in all honesty i had no clue on what to pick regarding the mary situation. i think i chose like 4 different choices all contradicting each other in my playthrough, but seriously what is the objective 'right' path defending mary or killing her?

as for collectibles, i found i think 43 (?) secrets, all black pictures, 4-5 white pictures and the gold pictures. in this game it is already such and improvement to man of medans exploration system. for example, if opening a certain door or picking up a certain item the game will show you this '>>>>' which means it will move you onto the next segment and oh my god this has made exploration so mad more enjoyable and easier can i just say.

CONCLUSION

this game is miles better than man of medan. i enjoyed the aesthetic, gameplay, concept, characters (some more than others) and yeah it was overall a good game (not better than house of ashes though ;) )

EXTRA

CHARACTER RANKING

Angela (the funniest character in lh, she had humour but also a serious personality, where was she for half the game? 😭)

Daniel (so sweet and caring to everyone, love him and taylor)

Andrew (he is THE male protagonist but we love him for that, anthony is deeply traumatised 🙏)

Taylor (hated her in the beginning but she grew on me, he deaths are so brutal lmao but she is so incredibly funny)

John (alcoholic and annoying, he did really care about angela though)

RATING

6 or 7/10 / 3 1/2 stars

as always if youre still reading by this point respect to you my friend and tysm for reading i hope you enjoyed me waffling about random games for 1,750 words ilysm <33333

#this was supposed to be out a week ago #oopsies #anyway the house of ashes review will probably take a while bc i have SO MUCH TO DUMP ABOUT THAT GAME #but it will be out sooner or later #little hope #andrew little hope #angela little hope #taylor little hope #john little hope #mary milton little hope #the dark pictures anthology #supermassive games #game review

[waveridden]

i would love for you to give deets on why you disliked those books. i love salt

yessss i love complaining. putting this under a cut because it's long, however i'll say up top that if you found this post because you tumblr searched a book you like... maybe skip this one! because i didn't like these books!

the ballad of songbirds and snakes, if you haven't heard of it, is the hunger games prequel about president snow when he was young and hot. i dislike it on principle but when we did our hunger games book club i decided i was going to give it my best and most open-minded shot that i could handle giving it.

my main problem is actually that i extremely dislike the politics and the worldbuilding implications for the rest of the series. the timeline becomes incredibly fucked. the thematic implications don't make sense. it is so bloated, and so long, with so many names and characters and so relatively few interesting things happening.

also: the hunger games capitol is in denver. the original hunger games were in an old sports arena that was also used for concerts and events sometimes. it is described as having a massive goalpost that is tall and two-pronged. that's right. it's the denver broncos stadium. (the american football team.) once you know that the hunger games were in the denver broncos stadium, it kind of takes a lot of the suspense out.

-

the bromance book club is a highly-recommended romance novel. the basic premise is: a professional baseball player and his wife are on the brink of divorce after he discovers that she has never had an orgasm with him. in order to save his marriage (and learn to satisfy his wife) he joins a top secret book club of Alpha Men who secretly read romance novels to learn about what women like.

i actually thought the premise was cute but where it fell apart is that i HATED the main character. his wife was literally correct 100% of the time and should've left him. it was just unfunny and weird and bad.

-

identitti is a contemporary drama (translated from german) about a german-indian graduate student who discovers that her beloved german-indian advisor is, in fact, a white woman who has been lying about being indian. the book categorically refuses to cast judgment on her - the protagonist feels betrayed, but the advisor just keeps saying over and over that it's actually fine and identity is fluid, but never actually makes a good argument.

aside from the very strong personal reaction i have to this book (i.e. that the advisor was Wrong and that it was weird for this (german-indian) author to present this case) the biggest problem i have is that it used a real life mass shooting to prove a point. there was a hate crime in hanau, germany, that becomes a plot point in the book, but it revolves around people connecting that shooting to the fictional advisor, and i just think that's shitty, actually!

-

small game is the debut novel by blair braverman who is a survivalist and who raises sled dogs which rules. it is about a survivalist who goes onto a survivalist reality show, only for all the cameras to vanish halfway through, leaving the contestants to wonder: did something happen? have they been forgotten? is this all just a part of the show? or is something more sinister going on?

let me spoil the answer for you: the network lost funding, canceled the show, and something went wrong that meant that the contestants were never picked up. now you do not have to slog through ~150 pages of the contestants having that exact debate, weird gross survivalism, incredibly strange and upsetting animal and human deaths, and a really bizarre dubcon-y love story.

-

singer distance has a premise that i really loved: earth begins getting messages from mars that people realize are actually mathematical communications. after a certain point the math becomes too advanced; enter crystal, a genius mathematician who figures out the solution... and then disappears.

this book is not about crystal. it is about her college boyfriend, who feels inadequate to her and feels bad about it. after she goes missing he spends years pining after for her. eventually it is revealed that the two of them had a kid together and the kid finds him and they search for her together. i was really hoping for a fun and interesting scifi alternate history type thing and instead it was just a book about a sad boring man

-

cover is an indie comic miniseries about a comic book artist who is drafted into international espionage. the art was really nice but i haven't read bendis comics in years and i forgot how far up his own ass he gets, especially when it comes to how many words per page he writes. and this was especially navel-gazey, just talking constantly (constantly) (CONSTANTLY) about The Art Of Comics and how good it is. there also wasn't enough espionage.

-

how to give up plastic & how to save the world for free are two different and unrelated books that fall into a category i'm trying to read more of, i.e. the practical environmentally-friendly guide. these books had the same problem: the advice was fucking stupid! how to give up plastic said that if companies send you unnecessary plastic packaging, you should ship it back to them to make a statement (what!!!!!!) and every idea in how to save the world for free cost money.

i think my biggest problem with books like these is that most of the advice is for 1) homeowners, because so much of the advice tends to be like "compost in your yard" or "install solar panels," and 2) people who have never considered buying reusable bags or water bottles. i am trying to find something with advice that is practical and cheap (the climate diet is the closest i've gotten, some of it is ridiculous but some of it is genuinely applicable) but these books just gave stupid fucking advice

#waveridden.ask #cedardivine #THANKS CEDAR HAHA this was fun #do ppl still put long posts under cuts

[e17omm]

Interesting. Welp, lots of thoughts about HSR 2.2 below.

Lots of thoughts so Ill start with a checklist.

Firefly: good so far. It doesnt seem like she hates her life being trapped in the SAM suit, and thats good. I was worried they were going to make her despise having to be Sam. Seems that she can survive for a while without the suit, which I find fine.

Now as long as they make her fight AS Sam and they wont really have screwed up anything with her. Not everyone needs to have superpowers. Let Firefly's powers come through Sam. She'll be a really unique character that way. Seriously, who else fights using a mechanical body armor like an anime Iron Man in a Hoyoverse game? I'd have no issues with Firefly then.

Well, except one thing, but I'll get to that later.

Now, the fucking plot twist? Holy shit. This really went from "that was kinda anticlimactic. We really went from "we do the cool thing" to "someone else does the cool thing" to "we pass out before we see the cool thing" like, really? Everythings solved and we're already ready to leave? We get on the train, have a chat with everyone, vote on where to go. And (presses hands together in front of my mouth) holy fucking shit.

My one issue is that I wish they actually ended the 2.2 story after the plot twist reveal. Of all the "cliffhangers" and "plot twists" they have tried to do, THIS WAS THE SPOT TO DO IT. THIS WAS IT. This was HUGE. Its in the third Penacony mission, so it would have avoided that thing with "oh yeah you totally wiped out the Herrscher of Dominance halfway through the second chapter" thing. Like, this is the end. We're done. We won and are leaving. In the 3rd story mission. This was THE moment to reveal the plot twist, just barely start it to not leave everyone confused, and then end it and save it for a 4th story mission in 2.3

But it was way too short. It was way too easy to just, get all the crucial pieces and solve the puzzle. We started Act 3 of the story and it only lasted like 20 minutes. It really could have done with SOME difficulty in getting all the important pieces to solve everything.

But we just learn about the plot twist, everyone important groups up, and we fight the final boss. Just like that.

Next on the list, Acheron! Or should I say, Raiden Mei? When that shadow asked for her name, I was PRAYING that Hoyo knew what they were doing, and they did! They didnt skimp out on it! Didnt go the whole "I have lost my memory of it" which would have been such a cop-out. But nope! They did it!

And the Honkai music? Fuck I had chills. And this is pure nostalgia of the best parts of HI3. Those parts were so good that you remember the music and the feelings you had with those notes.

I cant remember much of the music at the later stages of HI3. The story just hasnt grabbed me like chapters 5 to 25 did. (Hoyo should take notes of their own work, ngl)

Now... onto "Death"

"Death" might be the WORST character design I have ever seen. Not from the looks, but from their role in the story and how Hoyo uses it.

A shady character shows up, pulls out a gun, and shoots another character in the head. And later you tell me that that wasnt actually a murder? Bullshit. Get that garbage out of here.

And you know the worst part? ONE SCENE is what ruined "Death" for me.

Firefly's "Death" scene. Delete it. It ruins so much. She is the only one we see "Death" "killing". Why. She's not dead. Why did you show that "Death" "kills" like that? Who sat down and wrote that part? Literally just make us not see this scene and heavily imply that it killed her like they implied that "Death" killed everyone else and this would've been fine!

I can buy that Robin and Sunday are alive because we see neither of them dying. Robin is off-screen and Sunday is hidden from the camera.

But we saw a death when it killed Firefly.

Next time someone is shot in the head on screen I will be expecting it to be an imposter, a stunt actor, an illision, or WHATEVER ELSE. BECAUSE EVEN WHEN THEY SHOW DEATH THEY CHICKEN OUT. AND ALL THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF FIREFLY'S TRACES DISAPPEARED RIGHT BEFORE WE COULD SEE HER. WE COULD EVEN SEE "DEATH" SNEAKING AWAY AS WE ENTER THE ROOM. BUT DONT SHOW THE DEED BEING DONE.

...

Onto the final boss. ... Its... I mean, the boss fight is neat. Um, not sure if Hoyo now thinks that "big thing is intimidating" but this boss was just kinda, eh.

We've already defeated two big things with Cocolia's (now our) mecha, and then Phantylia. And now this sympthony thing.

Uh, Hoyo does know that big doesnt immediately equal "intimidating" or "scary" or "impressive", right? I just wanna be sure. Because this boss is none of that.

Uh the music also get a bit too pop-star-y? Its not bad, I just feel like it goes against the tone of what the story wanted this moment to feel like.

I also wish that Acheron actually did something to help in the end. She kinda just "eh well you can fight now. Me? Byeeeee~" I know that she had a glory moment in 2.1, but like, come on. Sunday just gives up fighting because we told him that people dream in order to wake up. Which doesnt sound philosophical enough to me to make Sunday have a freaking reality check and fall from the platform in shock and defeat.

Hoyo has really been trying to make so much of their stories in the Honkaiverse have a higher meaning and be a matter on philosophy, and then they keep asking why birds fly and I am so fucking tired of it.

Like, this is all they got and its not even a joke.

So, yeah. I kinda really wanted IX to show up and just, consume Penacony. That would've been cool and been decently foreshadowed. Could have had everyone go numb or like, whatever happens to us when we get close to IX in the Simulated Universe, and then have most people try to scramble to the ships to gtfo, and then have IX appear and consume the place.

But as long as we head to the Edo Star next, I'll be happy.

A place under attack by the Antimatter Legion and their distress signal recently went out? Send me there. Right now. Not even a question. I want to see the Antimatter Legion actually live up to what everyone has said about them. Dont fucking bait me on this Hoyo.

Oh yeah, another thing before I finish this!

Where are our ability to hear Stellarons? Did Hoyo forget that we can hear the voice of Stellarons? That is like, one of the most interesting parts about the Trailblazer!

Imagine a world where we get to Penacony in 2.0, and everything's fine and the same as it was. Except... we can hear the voice of a Stellaron. But, there's no signs of it. There's no Fragmentums. There's no sign of it at all. But we keep hearing its voice.

It could have slowly told us the story of Penacony over the course of these three patches so that we didn't have to get a history lesson before the climax of the story.

It would have easily added some mystery and questions while basically requiring no changes to the current story. Is there a Stellaron on Penacony, or are WE the only Stellaron on Penacony?

Speaking of the Stellaron inside of us... It has barely mattered after Belobog...

Hoyo... This should be a big deal throughout the story. Herta is shocked that a human body can host a Stellaron. We can hear the voices of other Stellarons. We could go nuclear if it goes out of control. Why has it not really mattered after Belobog? Hoyo, this isnt something you should just wave off like you have been doing with the Traveler's ability to wield 5 of the 7 elements. Dont make the same mistake twice.

This is dragging out, but I just keep remembering more things!

Hoyo, please dont tell me that you are unable to make long-term stories anymore. Everything has been self-contained recently. And sure, you've TRIED to make it feel like it has a larger impact, but in the end it always hasnt.

HI3 Part 1.5? It MIGHT be important later. I dunno if Vita has any importance at all to part 2 so far. All the regions in GI are basically self contained. You could take Mondstadt Traveler and toss them straight into Fontaine and you would basically not have to change them at all. All of HSR has also been rather self-contained. Happy that Dan didnt actually call the Luofu, that would have just made this all seem even more miniscule and also extremely convenient.

But... Remember when Himeko fucking died and the next 16 chapters was the fallout of that? Remember when we could have big story moments that still mattered for more than 3 months of real time?

Penacony's story is over, and I dont think that anything that happened here will have any impact on the next destination. Did we even actually pick up any new crewmembers?! Please tell me that the cowboy and Black Swan actually joins us for a while. You Chekhov's Gun'd it all the way back in Belobog!

So in short. I liked Penacony act 2 and 3 a lot. Not close to anything in HI3 chapters 5 to 25, but it was good. Could have been a lot better with (imo) rather small changes.

Also wtf is up with Hoyo's budget allocations? They put so much budget into the filler generic battle part of act 3. That was so much effort put into just filler. What's up with that?

#honkai star rail #long post

[ded-and-gonne]

<<———————————😵‍💫————————————>>

Devil’s Night

A Ded & Gonne miniseries

Written by @firstpersonnarrator | Originally begun for @sheehalloween 2022 | Devil’s Night header gif by @salvador-daley | Sheehalloween prompt by Anon: Klaus behaving badly, genfic

AN: It’s Devil’s Night and Ben has no idea what that is. Until he becomes embroiled in a plot cooked up by his not-brother, Klaus. This Devil’s Night miniseries starring Klaus Hargreeves and Evil Ben is part of the Ded & Gonne family of stories. If you’ve been reading Ded & Gonne, this chapter follows immediately after the action in Chapter 6. Don’t feel like catching up? Devil’s Night can be read as a standalone fic. All Ded & Gonne works are genfic without exception.

TWs: Creeping dread (hopefully). Flirtation between two not-brothers. Swearing. A not-so-bright, mildly omniscient narrator. Made-up words and made-up tenses.

Ded & Gonne || Devil’s Night || Start || Next

<<———————————😵‍💫————————————>>

Part 1: Afraid of the Dark

<<———————————😵‍💫————————————>>

“Benneriiiinooooo.” Calling toward the hallway, Klaus is in his room waiting impatiently for Ben to “Get the fuck over here alreadyyyy!” Klaus has been curled up on the divan, working on his costume with his tongue poking out, all afternoon.

Ben’s head peeks around the door, sees Klaus half disguised as Jesus, and decides that it will go better for him if he picks his battles. (Never tell Ben that he’s at Klaus’s beck and call. It wouldn’t go well for you. Wrong Ben.)

The current Ben — Evil Ben — makes his way in, committing his entire body to looking both sarcastic and bored.

“Save me from my costume! I hate sewing,” Klaus wails. “Maybe I could have knitted Jesus.” Klaus punishes his costume for being annoying by throwing everything angrily in the general direction of his bed. He smiles with satisfaction as the pins and needles scatter on the floor, then turns to Ben.

“Ok, so, Bennerino. It’s Devil’s Night, and it’s cold cuz you won’t let me turn the heat up. So now I’m all snuggled on the divan where you apparently have no plan to join me. Sucks, but ok. Why?”

Ben curls his lip up in disgust. “For reasons, Klaus. It’s magenta velvet. And I can tell exactly where you always sit because the velvet has your ass permanently imprinted in it.”

“My eyes are up here, mister,” Klaus winks at Ben.

“Christ, Klaus.”

“Exactly!” Klaus decides to forego all the blaspheming he could do right now. He’s saving all his blaspheming for the kids on Halloween.

“Hurry up and pop your popcorn, Ben. We will not be stopping halfway through the first story for popcorn-popping. I mean, I know you live to piss people off, but that? It’s irritating. Just thought maybe that was something you could work on. You know, for the future.” Klaus smiles as if he’s indulging a child. “You’ll get there, buddy. You’ll get there.”

Ben is too busy being both taken-aback and off-put to say nasty things while Klaus is saying supportive things. Instead, he looks like a lost little boy. “I don’t live to piss people off.”

“Yes of course you do. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“But that doesn’t- Isn't pissing people off a bad thing?” Ben asks, looking confused and a smidge annoyed.

“Yeah, but it looks great on you.” Klaus seems to be feeling affectionate toward Ben again, judging by the smile.

“If you ruffle my hair, I will end you,” Ben warns.

Klaus retracts his hand.

Followed by Ben rolling his eyes, dropping heavily next to Klaus with a bounce, and waiting expectantly for the tv to come back to life.

After a few moments of uncomfortable yet companionable silence, Ben senses he’s being observed. He turns to find Klaus sitting there, expectantly staring at him with a ‘mommy bought me cotton candy’ vibe. All excited and hungry. It’s a little creepy, honestly.

“Uh, Klaus?”

“Yes, Benny Bear?”

Klaus can literally see Ben biting his tongue. “Great!” Klaus praises. “Look at you! You kept yourself from threatening me! And you held back the nasty! That’s progress. You’ve come so far, Benji.”

“Stop trying to provoke me, Klaus. It’s not what I’m going for right now.”

“Ok, fine, have it your way. I’ve taken the threat level down to just defcon Medium Meanie from defcon Big.”

Klaus goes back to staring eagerly at Ben.

This is normally when Ben would just hang up on Klaus. But now they live together. Like, together on the same hallway. Not, like, together-together. There’s a wall. Right in-between them. A wall, ok? Jesus. Whatever.

“So…” Ben prompts, hoping Klaus will start at the beginning. He’s feeling lost.

“I’m waiting for you to start, silly!”

“Start what, Klaus? Start talking, I’m bored.”

“Your story. But, don’t rush it. We’ve got well over 24 hours before it’ll start to be a little sad, missing Halloween entirely because of a creativity vortex.” Not as threatening or effective as a kugelblitz, though.

“What story? Klaus, I’m going to count to five,” Ben snarls. “Trust me, you don’t want to know what comes after five.”

“Ho!” Klaus’s eyes explode out of his head metaphorically, and he frantically begins scanning his bedroom. “Wait, wait! Where’s my bingo card?”

“Your,” [long dramatic pause] “what?”

“My business card.” Good save. “You know what, Bennerino? You don’t have to go first if you’re nervous. I’ll go first.”

“What are you talking about, Klaus? You’ll go first at what?”

“It’s Devil’s Night, Benny Bunny, and I will be your very own little devil for the night. I’ll-”

“Klaus, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

“I know, I’m really good at it. So anyway, where was I? Oh, right, I’m going first.” Klaus bounds out of his seat and Ben is plunged into darkness.

“Pffft,” Ben says, scoffing at the darkness. But then he hears the door creak and the lock click into place.

It’s probably not very kind to point out right now that Ben is already scared. He wouldn’t want you to know about that. So, moving on.

“Klaus?” He gives a quick swivel in his seat, and there’s nothing to see. Quite literally. “Why do you have blackout windows, Klaus?” It is utterly dark. No difference between eyes open and eyes closed. He reaches up to touch his eyes, making sure they’re actually open.

Ben starts fidgeting. He jolts when he notices the clock ticking. Suddenly, he realizes he never bothered to notice much of anything about the room around him. No idea what the layout is, or where the furniture is. Or the piano.

It’s just, whenever Klaus is around, he tends to fill the entire room. Like some obnoxious, yet exotic, tropical bird. All rainbows, pink feathers, and glitter briefs.

Ben starts to tap his foot in time with the ticking clock. It’s a good calming technique. Become part of the music of time and see how long you can keep the beat.

Ben’s tapping foot is sort of spastic, now. He either can’t keep up with the beat, or maybe he’s jumping ahead. He can’t tell which is which. The clock is gaslighting him.

Yep, it’s crawling.

His skin is now crawling. Officially.

Outside, a cat screeches and hisses. Because of course it does. It’s Halloween. Or Devil’s Night, whatever that is.

How could he hear hissing from this bedroom? That was outside, wasn’t it? He’d swear there’s a faint scratching on wood. Through the wall, maybe. His entire being is focused in his eardrums. Trying to gauge the nearness of the cat is more difficult than it should be.

Ben doesn’t hate cats. In fact, Mean Ben is a sucker for cats. They’re aloof and condescending, and yet you still do everything you can to get them to snuggle you. A lot like Ben, the snuggling snuggler, apparently. He definitely wants his benny bear at this point.

See, the thing is, the yowling sounded kinda far away and muffled, like through a wall, a few rooms down the hall, or down the street. But the scratching? That is a lot closer, and more claws than paws. Little scratches, but Ben tries to talk himself down by reminding himself that it’s an old building. Old buildings make sounds, right?

Ben huffs and rolls his eyes, which only serves to remind him that he literally can’t see anything. Nothing. The darkness is utterly complete. No crack of light below the door. No tiny shaft from between the floorboards. Just the scratching. The scratching that has him peering every which way, but the darkness is thick as ink. Almost oily.

Just darkness. Something small, scratching. Small? The ticking. His foot tapping. His heartbeat in his ears.

There were windows, right? Yeah, sure, there have to be, Ben reassures himself. But he vaguely remembers how very many objects Klaus has strewn around the space, creating traps that could be waiting just next to his feet. Like Klaus’s old lady taste in furniture — tufted and tasseled and poofy velvet all over the place. Coffee tables with legs and corners, supporting precariously perched bongs. And bongos. And ashtrays. And scissors. Klaus has to use scissors to sew. Has to.

But there are windows in here, right? There have to have been, right? Klaus wouldn’t choose a room without windows. He thinks he knows Klaus well enough by now to predict the man’s actions and motivations.

Underneath the patchouli oil, the sharp and keen sense of smell that makes Ben win every bake-off, senses something musky. It’s kind of like something evocative of freshly turned earth. Moist, but also tinged with a rotting smell.

The rotting smell is not coming from the same direction as the scratching. Or the yowling.

Ben reaches out with all of his senses like Pogo and Luke Skywalker taught him.

Beneath all of it is something dank and vegetal. And a slight drip coming from behind him. But the hallway is the only thing behind him. Isn’t it?

The scratching has stopped. Now it’s just the ticking of the clock and the droplets of water and the scent of mold, with something sickening-sweet just below it.

His blood is rushing in his ears. And nothing, fucking nothing, matches up. It’s like one of those old, creaky wind-up toys. The jack-in-the-box, cranking, cranking. The horrible clapping monkey, clanking its cacophonous cymbals. It’s an imperfect monkey, slightly out of time with his eyes rolling and the tune and the clanking and clanking. But the ticking clock is so close to the tempo. No, wait. It’s the clock keeping time. He can’t tell which is faster, and suddenly his entire body senses space — every hair, every brain cell, it’s all so wrapped up and jumbled. Which one is out of step with the others? But they’re all out of step and he feels like his ears are stuck in one of those 3D puzzles, the optical illusions your eyes sink into, by design. Suddenly there’s an entire space hidden to the eye, just beyond the length of his arm’s reach. Is there a table in front of him? He can’t remember.

And all of this jagged clicking, and tapping, and breathing, blood rushing in his ears, heart thudding out a tell-tale beat.

Ben’s feeling a little tippy. And he’s already sitting down. He lifts his hand to his face. It feels like something tiny has landed in the space between his nose and lips. Bringing his hand instinctively to his face, he’s surprised to find pebbling droplets of perspiration.

“Fuck!” His hand jerks up and slaps his upper lip. Hard. He pulls his hand back and with it comes a formerly living creature. A small spider. Or maybe a flea? Or a gnat. It had been crawling when he smashed the fucker’s little carapace against his skin. Too tiny to tell how many legs. Wings? Antennae?

Or if it’s alone.

Immediately following that unnerving thought, all the nerve endings in his body go on high alert. The springs in his seat complain when he jolts at the sudden awareness of sensation.

He feels a tickle or a tingle in tiny pinpoints, anywhere his skin is exposed to air.

Ben is starting to squirm. All the tiny hairs on his face and neck seem to get triggered at the same time, no rhyme, no reason. He quickly raises his hands to his face to wipe away all the sweat, and oil, and hairs, and crawlies, telling it all to shut the fuck up and get off his body. Ben finds himself compulsively itching around his neckline.

Everything feels like it’s moving. Ben feels nauseous. His eyes are rolling again, with nothing but thick ink to meet him in every direction. He wants to hug his knees to himself. He almost starts rocking himself; a self-soothing habit he abandoned years ago. But of course the minute he admits weakness, Klaus will undoubtedly return, already talking as he turns the light back on. But his shuffling footsteps can’t yet be heard out on the hallway’s ancient floorboards.

He can’t calm himself. Can’t soothe himself. Ben isn’t weak. He’s evil, for God’s sake. He can’t let Klaus see him like this.

Ben frantically wipes his palms on his jeans and again clears the sweat from his brow, trying not to think about all the little spiders he has just pushed off his skin and straight into his hair.

Ben literally sits on his hands to avoid scratching at his face. His neck. His scalp. His eyebrows. In the corners of his mouth.

No, Ben. No, that’s not a breeze. No. There wasn’t a breeze a minute ago, and there isn’t a breeze now. A prickling. Right behind Ben’s right ear, Klaus whispers, “Boo.”

<<———————————😵‍💫————————————>>

Ded & Gonne || Devil’s Night || Start || Next

<<———————————😵‍💫————————————>>

#tua fanfic #tua #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #ded & gonne #devil’s night #part 1: afraid of the dark #chapter 1: afraid of the dark #klaus’s first story #robert sheehan #justin min #justin h min #justin h. min #sparrow ben #tua s3 #sheehalloween #sheehalloween 2022 #my ao3 #robert sheehan character fic #justin min character fic #robert sheehan character fanfic #justin min character fanfic #tua s3 fic #mine #ded and gonne #ded and gonne booksellers and private dicks #we deal in rare books and the dead #genfic #gen

[spidertgirl]

Spider-Gwen and the Case of the Monday Blues

Part One- Monday Morning, So Forlorning

TW: This is just a little pre-Spider-Verse, ITSV Spider-Gwen transromance fic with Peter Parker (AFAB, before coming out). As the story takes through Gwen’s perspective, Patricia is dealt in prose as a woman. This is a plot point. Let me WRITE!!

This is also supposed to be cushy as shit so don’t take this too seriously. I literally finished writing it and immediately copy and pasted it here without any edits so its a bit rough. I just like posting.

Gwen hated Mondays.

Well, more than most. Sundays she tended to stay up all night, either catching up on schoolwork she missed catching criminals, or criminals she missed catching up on schoolwork.

Either way, loud blaring music kept her up far into the night. Last Night’s flavor was a local Hardcore band, mixed with some Beastie Boys, and a bit of Shoegaze.

Her ears were screaming bloody valentines like the worst hangover imaginable, and the wind rushing past them as she swung between skyscrapers did nothing to help. She had to stop and fall onto a nearby taxi just to get some relief.

Which was odd, she would have noticed if she had time to think. Her Sunday routine had long included ear-breaking decibels before and she thought nothing of it. A part wondered if she had just left her earphones in overnight, or taken a few too many hits, but the whole of her was somewhere else.

Something about this morning just drove her Spidey Sense wild. She barely felt it unless danger was right before her. Gwen looked everywhere- no danger. Well, a few dangers. She cautiously stopped a falling passerby, slowed a speeding car, tied a stranger's shoes, and a great deal more simple but thoughtful gestures. It did nothing to heal head, ear, or sense.

But her fears came and past, her school almost came and past before she realized it, and she was quickly distracted by another fear.

“Guess what day it is today?” Patricia asked. Gwen shook her head.

“No, I give up.”

“You didn’t even try! C’mon, one guess.”

“Mmm… the day Mr. Peterson is finally gonna commit to his alopecia and just go bald?” Her friend laughed, and gave her a light push on the shoulder.

“I’m serious!”

“So am I, there are only so many hats in the world that can cover up that sunk cost fallacy.”

“So you have no clue?”

“As clueless as Scooby Doo. Or Cher. Can I change my answer to Cher?”

“Honey, if you’re Cher I’ll get to be Tai.”

“Why Tai? Oh that rhymes!”

“Why Tai, why I always related to her untamable mass of curly hair, my Cheri.”

Gwen realized it was halfway through English and she still didn’t know what Patricia was talking about.

“I’m lost.”

“It’s not that hard Gwen, Mr. Morton is the subject of the sentence because-”

“No, what’s today?”

“One month.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Still nothing.”

“Babe, I love you but you really are clueless.”

“What’re you gonna do with me?”

“Maybe throw you out in a box like a cat. Or, I guess a Jar would be more fitting.”

“Wha- oh. Haha, very funny.” She thought for a moment.

“Do the cat’s really get thrown out with a box? I thought they found it. Like a hermit crab.”

“Of course, otherwise it’s just a cruel thing to do, throwing out a cat.”

“Yeah, but they have a bad habit of getting back in. We used to have-”

“This cat named Mary who used to sneak into your house and-”

“We could never quite throw out- what don’t you know about me?”

“Nothing, now think.”

Gwen could only think of Patty throwing her out the window in a glass cup.

Maybe the shock would get her feeling right. She didn’t know if it was sleep deprivation, embarrassment, or some secret third thing that was keeping her from focusing, but it was driving her insane.

She loved Patricia, and she really wanted to do right by her and their relationship. But she knew they had been dating for almost a year at this point, so ‘one month’ didn’t quite make sense. If only this damn fog would leave her head!

And that creepy feeling down her spine, if she could help it. It’s terribly unhelpful to have a spider sense that’s always turned on. Like radar at a metal concert- useless. Absolutely and positively useless.

She took a hit of the dog that bit her between classes, a smooth, poppier song. It almost did the thing, but a tug on her shoulder stopped her and took her headphones before she had the chance.

“What, you avoiding me now?”

“W- No, never! I’m just… kinda out of it.”

“I’m busting your literal and proverbial balls babe. Go to the nurse, see if she can help. And keep thinking!”

Gwen was gonna refuse- super healing and all- but remembered an especially bad hit to the side of her head that knocked her vision out for a few seconds. And apparently some memory too- not good. That’s concussion territory, she thought.

Or not, she didn’t have a super good grasp on medical sciences, but she watched enough scary news stories with her dad about sports medicine to know concussions are common and quick killers.

Still nothing on the date front though. She thought about everything she did a month ago, everything she said. Only the foggiest came through, the rest a mystery.

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I, uh… fell pretty hard and I think I might have a concussion. So… could you check it out?”

The nurse laughed.

“Sure, Bren- is that right?” the nurse eyed her up and down, with a wary eye.

“Gwen, ma’am.”

“Well, Gwen, why do you think you have a concussion?” she said, pulling out a small flashlight.

“Follow my finger.”

“I just feel sorta odd,” she said, eye clinging to finger for dear life.

“Headache?”

“Yeah.”

“Nausea?”

“A little.”

“Confusion?”

“A lot- I mean, huh?”

“Funny girl- loss of consciousness?”

“Uh, when I first… fell?”

“For how long?”

“Oh, a few seconds.” Barely two, by her guess. Not enough for her to lose her footing in the fight, but just enough to distract her, let them get the slightest upper hand.

It was a big job, with some fancy weapons. Not street level crime, this was something bigger. She kept one for questioning, but…

Wait, what happened to him? Gwen was half convinced she let him sit there forever while she went home in a fugue state, but that didn’t seem to likely.

“Ringing in the ears?”

“No, but they’re sensitive.”

“Blurry vision?”

“No? I mean, I wear contacts.”

“Blurrier vision?” Gwen squinted.

“No.”

“Ok, anything else? You can quit following my finger now.” Gwen didn’t realize she followed it right into her coat pocket.

“Oh, sorry. I feel… on edge, I guess.”

“On edge?”

“Yeah. Tingly, frightful.”

“Anxious?”

“Yeah, that’s the word! Anxious- more anxious.”

The nurse walked back to her computer.

“Ok, you probably have a concussion.”

“Shit- I mean-”

“It’s fine. Did you drive here?”

“No, I’m a freshman.”

“Good. Call your dad and have him take you to the hospital.”

“Cool- can I go outside to make the call?”

“No, I don’t think you should honestly be doing any extraneous physical activity.”

Gwen made her phone call in complete view of the nurse, much to her chagrin. The Nurse didn’t even make an effort to turn away- in fact, it seemed like she was watching the detail with great detail!

Gwen did not like this Nurse.

Gwen almost toppled over Patricia.

“Oh, watch where- oh hey. Did you just swing into me? Do you have a concussion?”

“No time to explain- I need makeup wipes.”

Patricia did not look happy.

“I’d actually kind of like to know my if my girlfriend’s got a concussion, actually.” Gwen was taken aback.

“I- shit, I’m sorry, I’m just really in a rush and I’m in a hurry-”

“Spider-Woman shit?”

“Life shit! I finally have life shit again- P, I just need you to start rummaging for your makeup wipes and I’ll explain.”

“Fine,” Patricia said, swinging her bag around and digging through it.

“I totally do have a concussion and I’m super sorry that I don’t remember what day it is but I just snuck out of the nurse’s bathroom to find you because my dad’s about to pick me up and she made me take the phonecall in front of her, and-”

“Here-”

“I thought that would take longer-” Gwen said, grabbing them, before Patricia holds them back.

“And?”

“And? Oh, I love you?”

“Sure, hon. Love you too.”

They both ran to the bathroom and started taking the make up off, four sinks running to hide their chat.

“So what actually is it?”

“It’s your one month transiversary, hun! Or, one month of being out at school.”

“Wait, really? Shit, I had no idea. Do you keep like a… handbook on me at home or something?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“No, I actually kinda would. That’s sorta weird.”

“More of a scrapbook?”

“That’s sorta cute- how do I look?”

“Ready for a Proud Boys rally. Well, drop the wig. And the skirt. And the thigh highs. And the-”

“I get it, I need to change. I’ll be back.”

“Can I watch?” Patty joked from outside the stall.

“I’ll have to charge you!” Gwen said, rummaging through her purse, past her Spiderwoman costume from her morning swing, and pulling out her slacks and sneakers.

“How long do you have?”

“I don’t know, probably a good ten, fifteen minutes. I used a youtube compilation called Ten Hours of People Shititng Farting And Groaning.”

“Weird and gross.”

“Even weirder thing is I had it saved.”

“Ew, gross.”

“Yeah, but pretty clever. Bet you're proud of your ol gir-” when Gwen opened the door, Patty was holding a small colorful parcel, wrapped with ribbon.

“I- is this a gift?”

“Yeah. I was gonna do blue and pink but I figured that’s a lil sus, so it’s red and blue. Basically the same thing. I had to cut up an american flag wrapping paper to make it, so the lace has a few holes that were once stars.”

“Aww, I love a little rebellious flag code violation! This is so sweet Pats, you didn’t have to. Can I open it in the hospital.”

“Oh, not… here?”

“Well it’s been ten minutes so far, and I need time to swing back and find the right window. And honestly I think I probably shouldn’t even swing. Besides, it'll cheer me up, I hate hotel rooms. Sorry, is that not fine?”

“Uh, no. No, it’s totally cool, babe, I get it. I don’t want you to be depressed if you’re there for a while. Call me if you’re there past six and I’ll visit you.”

“Ok- thank you, for everything. I really mean it. I… I don’t know. I owe you something. A lot, really babe. I’m sorry this Spider-Woman thing is such a problem.”

“I get it. Great Power means Great Responsibility.”

“That’s beautiful. Is that from one of your poems?”

“A comic book I read.”

“Figures. See you. Love you,” she added at the end and ran away.

She wondered if she shouldn’t have said anything at all. She always had a bad habit of never knowing when to keep her damn mouth shut, and Spider-Woman only galvanized her wit and ego to dramatic parts. She rarely felt like herself, save for when she was Gwen. When she was with Patty. When she was happy.

She wanted to say all these things, run back into her and find her… but it was probably too late. She’d call her, at least. That’s the least that she could do.

Finding the window was quicker and easier than the run- Gwen’s head just did not let up. She wondered why her supposedly super healing wasn’t helping any. But the door was locked. She stumbled through the window, and sat for a moment composing herself upon the toilet, letting her head settle in the dark room.

But when Gwen stood and walked to the door, where the phone was so perfectly placed…

“Shit, I could’ve sworn I put it there.”

The door creaked open. The Nurse and Gwen’s dad were standing there. Gwen’s dad was holding her phone.

“And you just did, young lady. What’s that- fifteen dollars now?”

“I hate your swear jar.”

“And your hate is expressed in gentle and thought out ways. Why did you leave the room? Actually, how did you even get down?”

“Why did you guys even open the door? I was on the toilet!”

“Usually I make it a habit to respond when my students with brain trauma stop responding and start groaning. Also I didn’t understand why you were so obsessed with selling me Raid Shadow Legends.”

Curse that Autoplay.

To be continued

Chapter Two coming soon!

A Stunning Preview of this Story’s Action Packed Finale!

“What’s that?” Gwen had almost gone to sleep before Patricia’s voice woke her up.

“What?”

“That… blinking red thing?”

“Pat, it’s a hospital, there are a lot of blinking red things.”

“Not really. It’s like, a laser. I mean not really, but it’s super bright. See look, there’s a dot there on the wall.”

Sure enough, Gwen stared on the darkness past her girlfriend… and there was the red light. Blinking. Unmoving.

Gwen was just as paralyzed. She looked to Patricia and Patricia looked back, more frightened.

“What is that

“I don’t know, but whatever it is Gwen… it’s coming from you.”

#spider gwen #itsv #spider-verse #spider verse #trans SpiderGwen #itsv fanfiction #atsv fic #itsv fic #spidergwen fic #spidergwen/peter Parker #trans peter parker #yes this is a period piece #hence the Raid Shadow Legends meme #across the spiderverse fanfiction #Spiderverse fic #ok that’s enough tags I apologize for any spelling errors. this was something small I was writing for myself and I ended up writing way- #more than I expected and in the rush of people sharing fun Spider-Verse fanart I felt inspired to rush it #and post. bc it’d be fun to post fanfics on my tumblr

[garak]

here are my thoughts on the x-men movies since ive finished most of them

x-men (2000): in my top 3. love mags and xavier in this one mostly because its ian mckellan & patrick stewart. my main gripes are with the merging of magnetos and mystiques brotherhoods & the exclusion of destiny from the brotherhood. magneto being willing to sacrifice his life & another mutants for his dream to be realized seems pretty accurate but i feel like they didnt make it clear enough that if the plan worked he would have died too...? HATE wolverine trying to put the moves on jean grey but thats true regardless of whether its a movie or a comic or a stageplay for all i care.

x2: the plot of this one kind of lost me mostly because i havent read god loves man kills yet so i didnt have any basis to understand wtf was going on except stryker was there and hes evil. love maggy in the prison being emo and shit although them deciding when he can or cant fly or use certain powers seems pretty arbitrary... ? i feel like deathstryke is treated pretty poorly by the plot here seeing as shes you know kind of an important character who they never introduce properly. nightcrawler looks better in this movie than he does in the later ones but still not good.

last stand: ive already talked about the choice of angel & worthington industries as the villains in this one so i won't go over it again. i think its DEEPLY funny that scott disappears and wolverine finds his glasses (which he cannot live without) just lying around and doesn't think "hey i wonder what happened to cyclops" until jean is quite literally unbuckling his belt halfway through trying seduce him. why does no one in these films seem to give a fuck about what happens to cyclops he dies in the first 10 minutes of the movie and its never addressed. also prof x dies in this one and i dont remember how he comes back to life so what was that. also they fuck up bobbys characterization SOOOO bad like i know they didnt know he was gay and he is kind of a player but in the comics kitty uses him as a rebound then breaks up with him and then his younger self (teleported to the future from the 60s) is like "why arent you gay. i'm gay" and bobby is like "no i'm also gay. i just act straight because of irish catholic guilt". so having him cheat on rogue with kitty and pressure rogue into getting the mutation blocker thing so they can have sex is retroactively an insane plotline. sorry im bobby drakes number one fan and this is so fake. also beast is so hot in this movie. what? who said that. also the phoenix plotline sucks and also magneto was right to try and explode the factory or whatever

origins wolverine: INCREDIBLY funny movie serious excellent. completely unintentional in how funny it is but so enjoyable to watch. why was cyclops there? why was emma frost there? what is going on in this movie? why is wolverine naked all the damn time? why does he know the blob? why can he BEAT the blob? why is the blob in this movie? seriously what the fuck is going on in this movie? x-men origins wolverine does not have answers to these questions. its really great to see the awful cgi claws though. i liked that gambit was in this movie.

first class: i have a lot of questions on this one. why is hank here. why is mystique acting like a child when she should be over 70 years old at the least. why would they get my hopes up by putting banshee and moira in the same movie but then not give them a relationship. why the fuck is scott summers' younger brother here. however it does well by making you root for magneto and then being like "and everybody then teamed up with magneto because hes awesome and abandoned xavier except for hank because theyre both centrist democrats" like you know what. so true. i like how mags just starts drama constantly for no reason like why was he fucking w mystique like that... good for him i guess but hes so gay in this movie its not even funny. okay it is funny but only a little.

the wolverine: i fell asleep during this one so i don't know but it seemed weird and racist in many ways and wolverine was a complete bitch during it for NO reason as always. also its so funny to see him fail on screen with basic japanese when in the comics he gets mind wiped and regains the ability to speak japanese before he regains english like that guy is an r/whiteguyswithasianwives prodigy. i liked deathstryke in this movie the actress was very cool. why didnt wolverine take the deal to save his friend and not be immortal anymore when he fucking hates being immortal half the time like bro come on... i hate him sorry

days of future past: okay at this point they should have known bobby drake was gay. so why all that with kitty. also why blame MYSTIQUE for the creation of the sentinels dawg she had nothing to do with that in the comics. the sentinels were not purple enough OR big enough btw. also, where is rachel summers. you cant do days of future past without rachel summers. either way this was a pretty good movie. quicksilver was excellent.

apocalypse: guys. why is scott summers wearing raybans. here are some other questions i hate about this movie: why is cyke's backstory never properly discussed. why do they give cyke angel or bobby's personality. why does nightcrawler look so bad. why would apocalpse choose angel over literally anyone else. why is it never addressed that nightcrawler is mystique's son. why is psylocke here if theyre not going to do anything with her. why is xavier such an annoying liberal. why would they introduce a new magneto daughter when he already has like 3 to pick from. why dont hank and mystique just sort their shit out. why does mystique go to bat so hard for maggy. why does jean already have telepathic abilities when she and scott meet thus making the way they originally get together (one of the main reasons i give a fuck about their relationship) impossible. who is the girl with the yellow hoop earrings they hang out with. dazzler??? why does jean have the phoenix spirit in her if she hasnt died yet. why isnt storm in her home on the mountain at this point. why is moira not scottish. why introduce her son if theyre not going to do the moira son plotline. last but not least, why would they include any character in this movie who wasnt quicksilver when hes obviously the best character by a wide margin and all scenes that dont include him are basically worthless. otherwise i quite enjoyed it. i liked angels haircut and im so glad they FINALLY made xavier bald.

i will add my reviews of new mutants, dark phoenix, deadpool, etc. once i watch them

#living after midnight

[bria-doublen-a]

Throne of Glass

Non Spoiler Section

So this was kind of my first real introduction to fantasy. Besides Cassandra Clare, I've never read much magic realism and epic fantasy. I've always had a hard time getting into it. But as I get older, the more I'm willing to expand my horizons. Which can explain why I'm jumping on the Sarah J. Maas bandwagon so late.

This book welcomes both fantasy veterans and newbies, like myself! You'll find the world building is not overbearing and difficult to understand unlike some others I've read. Also another great accessory I found was a small glossary in the back. A pet peeve of mine is not knowing how to pronounce the names of people and places and Sarah caters to us by letting us see the pronunciations so we don't feel as completely clueless as we might feel about our characters.

Speaking of, let's talk about our protagonists! I always thought that the tough-as-nails female protagonist was overdone and pandering, but I never expected to feel so much love and empathy for Celaena Sardothien. Maas's characters are relatable and genuine, despite watching them interact in a world we know little about. I loved watching the characters speak to each other and I absolutely adored the romance. Every scene feels natural and authentic to their respective personalities.

The only complaint I had, although it's a minor thing, was that some of the chapters seemed extremely short? In the beginning, it sort of reminded me of drabble. Drabble isn't the worst style, it's just not one of my favorites. I prefer to delve into a scene and get lost in the world and shortening the experience can make it difficult for me to make an investment.

All in all, I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars!

Spoiler Section

Okay, so I don't typically like to read the synopsis on the back of books because I find that sometimes they're too revealing and I like to be completely surprised. I usually figure out what's next on my TBR based on character traits/arcs and theme. All this to say, that when I discovered that the other contestants started dropping dead, my stomach dropped. Even though I knew Celaena would make it (basic plot armor and knowing there are eight books in the series with her face on the cover), I felt the tension the entire way through! And when we found those Wyrdmarks under her bed for the first time…*shudders* I was terrified.

And Dorian! Ugh, swoon. I'm literally in love with every single ounce of this man. I don't know, something about those Daddy issues just does something to me lol. No, but really, the way that Dorian saw Celaena for who she was, not what she was made him so likeable. And the fact that he could see that long before Chaol ever could shows what kind of person he is and the man he is becoming.

I realize that this opinion is different from most readers. I find that the majority of the fanbase is head over heels for Chaol. Perhaps my thoughts will change throughout the series, but as of right now, I'm Team Dorian. Even though they broke up at the end, it had nothing to do with Dorian's character and everything to do with Celaena needing to find herself. She's never been free a day in her life and she wished to truly experience that. I can't blame her for that decision even though it literally broke me.

I'm so eager to read more. I went and bought the second book before I was even halfway through this one. What do you think guys? Should I bite the bullet and just buy all eight of them now? 'Cause I'm seriously considering it.

#Throne of Glass #Sarah J. Maas #fantasy #romance #books #book review #bookrec #Celaena Sardothien #Dorian Havilliard #Chaol Westfall #dorian x celaena #The King's Champion

[silkiemae]

Their Vicious Darling by Nikki St. Crowe

Their Vicious Darling by Nikki St. Crowe My rating: 1 of 5 stars I got nearly halfway through this book before I decided that life is too short to continue reading books that make me this uncomfortable. I recently read the original Peter & Wendy book, and it only made me dislike this series even more. Nikki St. Crowe really read Peter & Wendy, a story about a boy who refuses to grow up and thought, but what if…he grew up. Not only that but what if he grew up and instead of wholesomely flying around with the women in Wendy Darling’s line, what if he kidnapped them and ‘broke them’ and eventually gang-banged one of them? That is messed up on so many levels to me; I’m sorry. The whole point of Peter Pan is that he doesn’t want to grow up. Wendy, her brothers and the rest of the Lost Boys all go to live with the Darlings and grow up but not Peter. Peter chooses to stay in Neverland because he doesn’t want to become a man, but Nikki St. Crowe said fuck that; I’m gonna change all of that and not give any explanation as to why. While I didn’t finish this last book, the last two and the half of this I read are littered with so many plot holes that there’s no way this can ever become a sensical story. I’m sorry, but I do not foresee this ever having a satisfying conclusion. Nikki writes every book with a cliffhanger and only at 200 pages every time. It’s almost as if she’s doing it to anger her readers into wanting to see what happens, but honestly, it reads more like she doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and that’s why it still hasn’t ended. I genuinely believe that if she had sat down to properly plot and flesh this book out, it could’ve been much better, but it would not have negated just how creepy and pedophilic this book continues to feel. While we’ve strayed away from the continual focus on Winnie ‘just turning 18’, it doesn’t change the fact that this story was inspired by a literal children’s fairy tale about a little boy who does not wish to grow up and somehow became a reverse harem story about a cigarette-smoking douche lord. Somehow, I know someone is going to make a comment about all the other Peter Pan retellings out there and here's what I have to say to you about that. I haven't read all the other Peter Pan retellings out there! But if I find one that aged Peter Pan up with no explanation as to why with the sole purpose of writing him having sex with an 18-year-old malnourished girl, then I would call it out for being creepy as well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t even care if this makes me seem like a complete asshole, but I genuinely worry about those of you who give this book such high praise. Not only is the story not good, but the writing is so subpar and, as I’ve said once, belongs nowhere but Literotica. I will admit that some of the descriptions have gotten better, and the WB has been slightly more fleshed out, but it’s not nearly enough for all the POVs the author is attempting to juggle. She doesn’t give herself enough space to write an entirely crafted book. She’s given some excuse as to why she writes such short novels, but it doesn’t matter what it is—in my opinion, these books are lazy and underwhelming and creepy. I won’t be continuing this series, nor will I be reading any of Nikki’s other works. They’ll be just as upsetting if this is anything to go by. View all my reviews

#their vicious darling #the never king #vicious lost boys #Peter Pan retelling #book review #Nikki st crowe

[chickenandwafflesandtv]

Orange Show+Movie

Hi! Welcome back to my blog! This time, we're in for a doozy.

Hold up. I'm not watching a sport anime? What alternate reality have we entered?

ORANGE SEASON 1

Just kidding. If there's one thing I love to watch as much as sports animes, it's animes that are guaranteed to make you cry. And boy did this one deliver.

BACKGROUND

The morning her second year of high school begins, Naho Takamiya receives a letter addressed to herself from 10 years in the future. The letter states that the events that will occur over the next few months will leave her with insurmountable regrets. It also includes a list of monumental moments that Future-Naho wishes to change. Finally, the letter states the most important thing that Present-Naho should be is be kind and take care of new student Kakeru Naruse, because 10 years into the future, Kakeru is dead. The letter ends with Future-Naho saying that her biggest regret is the fact that she and her friends could have saved him. The show follows Naho as she tries her best to change Kakeru's fate, all while slowly falling in love with him.

REVIEW

I cry semi-often when I watch anime, but it's usually at random times. I can say will full honestly that this is the most I have ever cried over a TV show in my life. I cried in literally Every. Single. Episode. The art style for this show was perfect, even if they made Naho's eyes weirdly large at some points. The plot and storyline were phenomenal. I'm a huge advocate when it comes to mental health/illness and media that surrounds that topic always ends up hitting me really hard. This show was no exception. I really enjoyed how about halfway through the show, it was revealed that the rest of Naho and Kakeru's friend group also received letters from their future selves, telling them what actions to take to save his life. Knowing how the characters' future ends up and seeing if they can change it meant that I couldn't bring myself to look away from the screen for one second. Seeing each choice they characters had to make and the different consequences each action had led to a gripping story that had me audibly gasping and yelling a TV that can't hear me. My roommates had to come into my room multiple times to check up on me because I was having full-on breakdowns over this show. This truly was a masterpiece.

BONUS: MOVIE

Imagine my joy when I finally finish drying my eyes and find that there's a movie sequel from the point of view of Hiroto Suwa, one of Naho and Kakeru's friends who ended up marrying Naho in the original future (a fact that everyone but Naho and Kakeru knew through the events of the original series). The movie is essentially just a retelling of the show from Suwa's perspective, but it does include a few new scenes from both the original future and the future that exists after they saved Kakeru. This one wasn't as sad, but it still packed an emotional punch; dealing with lost love, selflessness, and putting others' happiness before your own. I will admit that I also cried to this one.

SIGN OFF

When I started this blog, I thought it would be enjoying the shows that interest me. This show had gone above and beyond, it may have just changed my life. I had tried to watch this show sometime last year but after about 2 minutes, I just couldn't stay interested. All I remember is I liked the theme song and downloaded it. Finally watching the show now, I will probably never stop thinking about it. It's the kind of show where every so often, I'll think of a scene from it and be overwhelmed with emotion while I'm putting away groceries or answering a question in class. It's more than I ever could have imagined.

8/30/22 3:02pm

#orange #orange anime #anime #manga #tv #tv series #crunchyroll

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (7/31/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce (9/10)

The reread of the Tortall books continues! I actually don't remember Wild Magic and Wolf Speaker all that well (unlike Emperor Mage, which I reread many many times), so this was a lovely trip of rediscovery. I think this may just be a side effect of Pierce's writing style, but Daine seems way older than thirteen. If I had to guess just based on how she acts, I'd guess closer to fifteen/sixteen. Regardless, she's a very fun main character and a little funny in that she's practically the only Pierce MC to advocate for politeness and etiquette. Her relationship with Cloud is a great one, very sibling-like, and I love how she gets closer to particularly Onua and Numair. The plot is interesting but, for me who has a lot of emotional connection to the series, is ultimately overshadowed by the characters.

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor (CR, 21%)

I'm liking this book so far, but I'm getting a very precarious sense as I read it. The setup is done in a way that means very small details could ruin it for me, but so far this book is dodging them like a pro. It's been a while since I read a male main character, but I really like Lazlo! It's incredibly easy to be on his side, and I love that he's soft-spoken and academically focused. I'm not sure how I feel about the introduction of a whole new major POV with a new host of characters 20% of the way into the book, especially since I was under the impression this would be single POV, but it hasn't been too bad so far.

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (CR, 13%)

Similar to Gideon, this book is incredibly confusing, and I'm enjoying it. Harrow is a very different character and narrator from Gideon, and I feel like her sort of stagnancy is a pretty good depiction of depression. What I find most interesting is what appears to be this memory rewrite Harrow has gone through. She seems to have lost a lot of her memories from the first book and just after it, and it seems everyone knows what happened then except her. How interesting.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (DNF @ 35%)

While I found the world of this book incredibly interesting and fairly unique, it was just boring. Literally nothing happened for all of parts one and two, and when something finally did happen it wasn't nearly interesting enough to make me want to continue. I know this book receives high praise, and I may come back to it some day, but my copy was due in the library and it didn't intrigue me enough to renew it.

The Lost Siren by Raven Storm (3/10, DNF @ 56%)

This was an interesting idea for a fantasy romance, but I hated most of the love interests and romantic/spicy scenes were just not good. There was very little chemistry between the main character and most of the love interests, and the constant threat of violence/sexual assault against in the main character totally turned me off. I got past the halfway mark, which is my threshold for a rating.

#books #reading update #wild magic #tamora pierce #the immortals quartet #strange the dreamer #harrow the ninth #the locked tomb #piranesi #the lost siren