in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years
Somewhere between the lunch rush and the end of his shift, Martyn falls in love. (Brimstone Valley Mall AU, 1.1k, for @treebarkweek day four: infernal.)
Somewhere between the lunch rush and the end of his shift, Martyn falls in love. (Brimstone Valley Mall AU, 1.1k, for @treebarkweek day four: infernal.)
tfw when youre a knight from an unspecified amount of time ago whos childhood friends and in love w/ the prince of your country and then you find out these lovecraftian aliens are coming to fuck shit up and all the grownups are like “fuck” and you volunteer to be the prince’s personal permanent bodyguard because youre a bamf who gets shit done and theyre like “ok but you have to undergo this severely painful ritual to literally become a monster not metaphorically like youre mind will be fine but youre gonna have eyes all over your knees n shit” and youre like “fight me” so you do all that and then youre like “FUCK WOW THIS IS GREAT AND ALL BUT ACTUALLY IM SUPER UGLY NOW” so the prince takes your hand during the sunset by the water and he’s like “i promise to love you and only you forever” and in doing so becomes the first canon gay yugioh protag (BUT NOT THE LAST, maybe, since that one depends on whether you think the aliens in that series have genders and can therefore be counted as “gay” or not, that’s a whole different enchilada though), so in the dub since the 4kids dub is terrible they try to pass you off as a cis girl, and even though your gender is purposefully never stated or referred to in the japanese version, most people are pretty sure you’re definitely not one of those, and then it’s several lifetimes later and you’re a yugioh card and the reincarnation of your prince finds you, but he’s like 6 years old, and you put his friend in the hospital, and he freaks out, and seto kaiba launches you into space, and it’s really cold in space but you can’t die so you suffer immense agony for years, and you get exposed to space corruption waves and turn evil, also sadomasochistic because you tried to convince yourself that your prince really DIDNT abandon you to be tortured by the sheer decompression coldness and vacuum of space, so he must actually be trying to show you he loves you, so therefore hurting people must be how people show each other love, so now youve got all these goddamn psychological issues on top of the fact that youre also space evil, then when you get back to earth the reincarnation of your prince is at boarding school, and hes hanging out with a transfer student from norway with blue hair, and hes literally had all of his childhood memories of you NEUROSURGICALLY REMOVED by his parents because he had tons of nightmares where everything was just burning and on fire and you were crying, so that doesnt help the situation, so you merge his school with a surrealist wasteland and then try to take his school hostage and kill all his friends to get his attention, not because you’re specifically jealous of his friends or anything but literally because you think this is how people flirt, because again, space fuckery, and then you actually DO get jealous of the norwegian guy, and you pretend to kill him but then possess him and make him do a ton of bad shit and then try to innuendo-fight-seduce your prince in his body which makes everyone extremely uncomfortable ESPECIALLY the one teacher who tagged along to make sure nobody else got murdered, and you duel but its a magic dimension so you actually feel pain from the monsters and then he direct attacks you and you nut but you lost because of it so then you gotta leave norwegian guys body and then you fuck off to duel prince guy in the rainbow clouds and prince guy gets his memories of you backand he’s like “fuuuuuuck” and then you merge your souls together and you get cured of the space fuckery and youre like “HOLY SHIT I REALLY FUCKED UP” and your guy is like “nah it’s gucci” and passes out on your chest and then theres tears everywhere and it’s gucci and youre a dragon
Once, in the days of green eyes and birdsong, Ren had said that they would fight to the death with fists. No armor, no defense, just them and their hands.
Martyn can’t imagine that now. The two of them are exhausted, heartsick, recovering and uncertain. Maybe there will be a day where the fight happens, but for now — Dogwarts is half-fallen, damaged in the siege.
Ren and Martyn, a victory and a truce. A 1.2k Dogwarts Wins AU, written for @treebarkweek day three: build.